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English
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Published:
2020-11-27
Completed:
2020-11-27
Words:
1,827
Chapters:
3/3
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18
Kudos:
138
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Please Get Therapy Dio

Summary:

Dio is a mess and Jonathan decides to put his foot down and make Dio see a therapist.

Problem is, Dio is a vampire and very reluctant to co-operate :(

Notes:

** Why Dio is a vampire walking around in the daytime: Jonathan and Dio had already gone through many trials at the start of their relationship. A scuffle in their youth had resulted in Dio’s accidental transformation into a violent and bloodthirsty vampire. Luckily the Joestars had high connections with a highly regarded team of top scientific researchers ‘The Speedwagon Foundation’ who unfortunately had not been able to fully reverse the effects, but had at least made it possible for Dio to be immune to the otherwise catastrophic effects of being exposed to sunlight.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Dio got in the wine cabinet again

Chapter Text

“Dio? Giorno? Are you home?” Jonathan had called out to the quiet home as he flipped on the light switch. He had just spent another day working overtime grading university papers for the 5th night in a row and he was absolutely exhausted. Jonathan set down his newly gifted satchel, courtesy of his loving husband and son after he had tried to salvage the last one he’d held onto for the last 5 years.

“JoJo, that thing has seen it’s days. Your colleagues will think we’re struggling to pay the mortgage with you walking around wearing tattered old clothes and bags that have been used to death. I, Dio will have to impart my impeccable taste in fashion onto you and take you shopping immediately.”

Jonathan was used to Dio’s insults and he forgave them as he usually had good intentions. Other times he would make Dio work for his forgiveness when he had pushed him too far and left Jonathan feeling tired of the vampire’s tendency to be hot and cold.


This was one of those times.


“Dio!?, Giorno!?” He called once again, checking his phone he realised the time. 9 pm.


'I suppose Giorno has already been put to bed. I best see if there’s any dinner leftover.'


Jonathan walked into the kitchen, to hear a loud thump from the living room.

“JOJOOOOOOOO”

Jonathan rushed into the living room to find the armchair tipped over with a very drunken Dio thrown on the floor beside it, spilt wine very nearly missing the brand new cream coloured rug.

“Oh for heaven's sake Dio, really? We talked about this before.” Jonathan sighed as he looked disapprovingly at his husband.

“JoJo! There-*hicc* you are! I missed youuu.” Dio reached towards Jonathan’s leg only to completely miss it by a good few inches before slumping back to the floor.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed, we’ll talk in the morning.” Jonathan knelt beside Dio, putting his arm around the large man preparing himself to lift the dead weight.

“Oi JoJo!?” His finely crafted accent always slipped when he was battered.

“How can mirrors be real if our eyes aren’t real?”

Jonathan was trying not to laugh at Dio’s drunken ramblings but he couldn’t help himself. What the fuck was the talking about?


“JoJooooooooo”

“Yes, Dio?”

“Do you believe in gravity?”


“Well gravity is what’s preventing me from carrying you right now, so I guess I do”.

“Did you just call me fat JoJo!?” Dio tries to half-heartedly and sloppily push Jonathan away, but Jonathan is much stronger than Dio and keeps his grip help tight as he hoists Dio over his shoulder and begins to make his way up the stairs.


“Dio, please shut up. It’s time for you to go to bed.”


“Oh well, why didn’t you say so?” Dio thought he was laying on the seductive charm but his words were heavily slurred. Jonathan could feel Dio’s erection pushing against his ribs.

 

“I’ve been so bad JoJo” Dio lightly sank his fangs into Jonathan’s neck. Leaving a mark as a small amount of blood dripped and stained his lips.


“ahh-Dio. No, I’m not playing these games tonight, you’re sleeping this off.” Jonathan’s patience was being tried, he awkwardly reached to pull on the door handle to enter their bedroom before throwing Dio onto the bed.


“Punish me, JoJo, fuck me raw.” Dio groaned as Jonathan with the patience of a saint, began to help Dio undress before grabbing a nearby blanket and throwing it over Dio.

“Dio, you’re going to wake Giorno.”


“JoJo, did you know most trees are bl-”

Jonathan breathed a sigh of relief as Dio’s head hit the pillow and passed out.

Chapter 2: Jonathan Is Tired

Summary:

Jonathan has had enough of Dio's bullshit

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

It was times like this Dio was glad his regenerative powers meant he was immune to hangovers. Dio looked over to the opposite side of the bed to find it empty once again. He looked at the time and realised he’d slept through until the afternoon.


Shit, I’m going to be behind on these case files.


Dio had made his way downstairs into the kitchen. Little Giorno was sat at the table playing his handheld video game (Dio believed Giorno said it was called Smash? He had tried to play with Giorno once but he was a very sore loser) while Jonathan was standing by the counter preparing lunch. Dio sauntered over like nothing had happened the night before to give Jonathan a kiss on the cheek, which Jonathan reluctantly accepted.

“Morning JoJo, do I get a sandwich too?”


“You don’t even need to eat Dio. If you really want one, make it yourself.”

“But you always make my sandwiches JoJooo.” Dio whined. what’s the meaning of this!?”


“Padre, Papa is mad at you because he had to carry you to bed last night.”


“Wait, Giorno, how did you-” Jonathan was about to ask before Giorno cut him off.

“Neither of you know how to be quiet.”

“Ah shit, Giorno we’re both sorry we woke you. Isn’t that right Dio?” Jonathan shot a glare at Dio, awaiting his apology.

“I, Dio am very sorry that I waited all night for your father to come, hoping to spend quality time only to be left waiting for the 5th night in a row. How inconsiderate of me, a loving husband for being upset over being neglected.”

“Neglected!?” Jonathan was fuming. His head turned around with such intensity, Dio thought his neck might snap.

“Ok, so you guys are fighting again, Imma head out.” Giorno hopped off the chair and left the kitchen.

“Dio, you know I care for you very much but I am tired. I know you have your challenges and there are things you do not like to discuss but I think it would benefit us all if you were to see a therapist.” Jonathan sat at the table, gesturing for Dio to also sit with him. Dio had just noticed the bags under his eyes, Jonathan looked exhausted.


“What the fuck JoJo? I, Dio do not need therapy! It is beneath me. I can handle things myself thank you very much. It would not benefit me, it would only benefit yourself seeing as you think I’m such a difficult person to be around!” Dio’s jaw was clenched as he tried to gather enough control to not raise his voice at Jonathan.

“Dio. I’m not asking. I’m withholding sex until you agree. And I'm locking the wine cabinet.” Jonathan stared Dio down, letting him know he was dead serious and wasn’t going to give in. Jonathan could hold out much longer than Dio ever could.

“You wouldn’t dare JoJo.” Dio leaned in close to Jonathan, feeling his hot breath on his face.

“I thought you would argue with me about this so I’ve already paid for a private therapist to come here for a home visit. I suggest you shower and make yourself presentable, they’ll be here in an hour.” Jonathan softly rests his hand on Dio’s whitened knuckles.


“You’re lucky I love you so much JoJo or you would be vampire food by now.” Dio spoke lowly.

“It will be fine Dio. Please just don’t be-”

“Dio Brando the man who’s infamously known for being an asshole? wouldn’t dream of it” he smirked.

Notes:

This fic is dumb af and I'm sorry lmao. Inspired by a series of tweets with my DJD shipper friends. Thanks for inspiring this bullshit Gio, Kiyo & Crowgirl95 lmao. https://twitter.com/Euronymooose/status/1332399650586959872

I have a couple other JJBA fics!

https://archiveofourown.to/works/27261403 > Disciplinary: A sub/dom Lawyer Dio x Reader fic
https://archiveofourown.to/works/27611330 > The Perfect Drug: Sad angsty Jonadio fic

Chapter 3: Please Stop eating the Therapists

Summary:

Dio keeps eating his therapists

Chapter Text

“Padre. Please stop eating the therapists.”


“Giorno, my sunshine I’m not eating them. I’m merely asserting dominance by draining their blood! If their feeble bodies were too weak to handle it, then they were not worthy of speaking with me.”

“Papa! Padre is being weird again.” Giorno called to Jonathan.

“Dio, this is the 20th therapist this month that we’ve had to dispose of. I don’t want to be responsible for more innocent people dying because you’re in a defiant mood. Rumours are starting to get around of therapists disappearing around here and the majority are refusing to see you now.

“Good.” Dio smiled proudly. “Then my plan is working!”

Jonathan palmed his face, slowly letting out an exacerbated sigh of frustration.

“Dio. Please. For god sake. If you care for us will you at least try? Stop draining them, you don’t even need to feed, and it takes fucking hours to clean the blood off the floor and walls after, which you don’t even have the decency to assist with!”


“I don’t clean JoJo, why clean when we have maids!?”


“Because the maids don’t want to be traumatised daily by half-eaten fucking therapists!” Jonathan clenched his fists into balls of fury.

 

Dio was taken aback by Jonathan losing his temper. It was so rare for his other half to lose his composure like this. He didn’t feel good pushing him so far but why couldn’t he understand that he didn’t want this? Dio wanted everyone to leave him be. Being a vampiric lawyer, husband and father was stressful but he didn’t need anyone pitying him or telling him his feelings were valid. He knows he’s valid. He’s Dio fucking Brando.

“Fine. I will try. I...I- I’m sorry.”

“Sorry Dio, I didn’t quite catch that. If you have something to say then speak clearly instead of mumbling.”

“I said that I was sorry. When is the next one scheduled to arrive?”

Jonathan smiled sweetly at Dio, he felt like maybe they were finally making progress.

 

“Well actually, they’re due here any minute now.”

“Well, I was planning on going over this important case this afternoon but fine. Let’s get this over with.”

“Thank you Dio, I know work is very busy right now but I really think this is for the best.” Jonathan walked over to Dio and wrapped his arms around the beautiful blonde man in a tight embrace. Dio stood stiffly before returning the hug. Dio was never very good expressing affection unless it was in the bedroom.

Knock knock

“Hello, I’m here to see Mr Brando?” A nervous-looking man with a receding hairline and hideous brown suit stood meekly at the door as he was greeted by the dark-haired professor towering over him.

“Ah yes hello, I’m Jonathan, Dio’s husband. Please come in.”

Jonathan stepped aside, leading the therapist into the lobby of the house. There his eyes caught Dio who was studying him up and down before shaking his head.

“I don’t like him, Jonathan, his hair looks bad and he smells like wet dog.”

“DIOOOOO” Jonathan banged his head against the wall to prevent himself from pummelling Dio with his fists. Dio walked over to Jonathan, grabbing him by the shoulder. The two of them completely forgetting the small man’s presence.

“Jonathan you imbecile, stop it. You’ll give yourself a concussion.”

“GOOD!” 

Giorno stared down from the landing at his fathers up to their usual shenanigans.

“Papa, Padre...if you keep fighting I’m running away to join the mafia. Also, the therapist just pissed himself.”


Dio and Jonathan looked over towards the trembling therapist who had just leaked all over the floor like an untrained pup. 

“WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY”

Notes:

This fic is dumb af and I'm sorry lmao. Inspired by a series of tweets with my DJD shipper friends. Thanks for inspiring this bullshit Gio, Kiyo & Crowgirl95 lmao. https://twitter.com/Euronymooose/status/1332399650586959872

I have a couple other JJBA fics!

https://archiveofourown.to/works/27261403 > Disciplinary: A sub/dom Lawyer Dio x Reader fic
https://archiveofourown.to/works/27611330 > The Perfect Drug: Sad angsty Jonadio fic

I do commissions! Check my twitter for more information
Twt: @euronymooose