Chapter Text
So, my dear Diary-Reader (who had better not be Sans; I’m serious, Brother, go re-calibrate your puzzles or something!!!), you’re probably wondering what I did next after waking up in a fictional world of magic and monsters! The answer, of course, is…not as much as I wish I could have!! As you might imagine, being a baby made it a bit difficult to do much of anything besides sleep and eat and babble to myself. I say “myself” because, as much as I hate to admit it, those early days were…very lonely.
Not that they were bad! Being alone most of the time meant that I had plenty of space to process and plan, and The Great Papyrus is fantastic at both of those things! Father came in often to check on me, of course, but as I quickly learned, being the Royal Scientist meant that he didn’t have a lot of time to do much more. If he noticed I was awake, he was very good at spending some time talking to me, feeding me, and employing his many magically-appearing hands to keep me entertained with basic baby games. The problem being that Father was not the most observant person, possibly because he was so smart and otherwise occupied. If I was not actively moving or babbling at him, he would often just readjust my covers/toys and smile as best he could considering his unfortunate lack of facial movements before leaving me alone once again.
(I am ashamed to share that I held this against him for a short time, thinking he was being purposely negligent. Later in my life he would sheepishly admit to me that he had a hard time telling when I was awake due to my default lack of eyelights or eyelids and his own obliviousness. Of course, I had forgiven him long before that conversation took place, but in retrospect I have to wonder if he ever realized I wasn’t just placating him by saying so.)
There was most assuredly something wrong, however. An ache behind my ribs that never quite seemed to go away. At first I took it to simply be my new found lack of organs leaving me with phantom pains, especially because it was (and still is sometimes) very disconcerting to realize I no longer have a heartbeat/blood/lungs/anything my human self would have needed to survive, but eventually I figured out there was something more to it.
This is what happened:
I was in my crib, surrounded by my many stuffed animals, bored out of my skull. By this point I had been aware for something like two weeks or so, judging by the dimming and brightening of the lights around me, and had basically run out of ways to keep my mind occupied. There were only so many times I could mentally review the plotline of Undertale before even I got frustrated, after all.
It was while I was contemplating what to name the newest addition to my plush collection, a super soft black cat about the size of my head I eventually decided to call Umbra, that I was attacked!
The Great Papyrus would normally have been able to fight off even such an unexpected encounter, of course, but the problem was that I was so tiny compared to my assailant! They abruptly covered my face with bright colored cloth and no matter how much I thrashed about with my stubby limbs, they would not be removed! I began to cry out in hopes of Father heroically coming to my rescue, and eventually I heard my door creak open and footsteps hurry toward me.
The bright colored cloth was finally removed and I was left blinking up at my assaulter, floating above my head surrounded by a wobbly blue glow. The somber face of my tie-dyed pug plushy, Thug the Pug, stared back at me. It would have been embarrassing to be bested by such an attacker except I was too entranced by the glow to be self-conscious.
“SO COOL,” I announced as best I could, the words coming out more like, “SHUUL,” as I reached out to touch the pretty blue light. Thug the Pug was quickly dragged away from my reach and left to drop outside of my crib. This brought my attention to my savior.
Gleaming white lights, similar to Father’s but brighter and wider and much more mesmerizing, stared at me from two round eyesockets. They were set into a skull much more spherical than Father’s and somehow more realistic, possibly due to the notable nasal hole between his sockets and blunt forever-grinning teeth visible from below the slight indents that signified the split of his skull. There was no way to doubt who this could be!
“SAAAS!!!”
The little Sans startled badly enough that he lifted his arms, showing off his stubby segmented fingers (broader than a human’s fingerbones, but segmented the same way, just like mine!) as his eyelights flickered in a blink-like way. I couldn’t help my widened grin, feeling my own longer but narrower eyesockets squish in my excitement. This was Sans! The best comic in Undertale, no bones about it (nyehehehe!). The Sans! The most famous character in the game! Sans!!! On top of that, context clues made me realize upon seeing him that I was lucky enough to have him as my own big brother!!!
Once again, I couldn’t help but shout out for him, “SAAAAASSS!!!”
“h-heh, whoa, there,” said little Sans in a voice that was nothing like the burble sounds I remembered from the game. I was able to put the higher pitch down to him being so young, but that didn’t explain why he was so quiet! If I hadn’t been listening for his response, I wouldn’t have heard it due to his whispery volume. A part of my mind filed away the resulting questions for later, but for now, I was too excited to focus on them. “uh. hi, kid.”
I babbled a greeting, reaching through the bars of my crib to make grabby hands at the cutie. I just wanted to hug him forever! This was the best day of my life!!!
“er. what? you want the toy back?”
Hesitantly, little Sans moved his arm so he was pointed at Thug, and with an intense expression on his face both his pointing hand and my plushie glowed that wobbly cyan color. I suddenly realized, this was gravity magic! Sans was using gravity magic!!! I let out another appropriately happy squeal at the sight as he slowly lifted Thug above the grate and let it drop just within the bars so I could reach it if I wanted to.
“th-there,” Sans said, panting a bit and with a curious sort of whitish-blue liquid dotting his face. “how’s th-that for ya, li’l b-buddy?”
I felt a curious tingling in my eyesockets and it was like all the excitement in me was directed up and outward from there, almost like how a human would picture lazer vision to feel. Little Sans’s eyesockets grew somehow wider and his eternal grin parted a bit in surprise.
“uh. wow. that’s…that’s a lotta joy for a little magic trick, heh. you’re, uh, welcome?”
Pleased that Sans could somehow read me so well, I babbled about how cool he was and how much I already loved him as best I could. It was mostly gibberish of course but Sans still seemed to understand the sentiment since his teeth closed again and his eyesockets crinkled happily.
“so, uh, what are you doing here, anyway?” he wondered aloud, stuffing his hands into the pockets of the blue-striped white hoodie he had on. He took a few steps further into the room, and to my delight I realized he was wearing black shorts that fell past his knees and pink fuzzy slippers. What a lazybones! Barely changed his style even after he got out of stripes and was officially all grown up, huh? “i’ve never seen you around before.”
“I’M NEW,” I tried to tell him, instead saying, “MEW!”
Little Sans snickered. “you’re kitten.”
Oh, if only I knew at the time what I had unleashed! But in The Great Papyrus’s childlike innocence, I could only be excited to be part of the fun, and tried to tell him how much I liked the pun. “UUN!”
“don’t you go lion to me now, kit. i’d hate to get you in trouble for meowthing off.”
“HAA’AT?”
“ah, sure, i’ll try to put a lid on it. no promises i won’t be a cheetah, though.”
“EH-CH!”
“i’d bless you, but despite my mass, i’m no priest. can’t even say i noah guy.”
I giggled excitedly at the parade of puns, but before they could continue, we were sadly interrupted.
“What Is Going On In Here?” wondered Father from where he’d been standing in the doorway since the cheetah pun. Sans startled badly enough his eyelights disappeared and for some reason this made me start to cry, making Father panic and rush to my side. “Oh, No, No, Shhhh, No Trouble, My Sweet Babybones, Shhhh…”
“uh. hi, dadster,” muttered Sans as his eyelights flickered back on. I was able to quickly calm down at the sight with only unneeded sniffles alongside my giggling. It was a funny pun (at the time), okay?! (DON’T tell Sans! I’ll never hear the end of it!!!) “what, er, are you doing here?”
Father gave Sans the closest thing to narrow eyes he could. “I Believe The Better Question Is, What Are You Doing Here, Comic? I Was Under The Impression That You Were Studying Chemistry Today With Doctor Bigmouth.”
Sans winced at the first sentence while I just question marked. Comic? What??? “er, it’s sans, dad. i’d rather go by sans now, please.”
“Ah, Right, My Apologies; I Had Forgotten,” agreed Father immediately, looking oddly sheepish for a 7-foot-tall skeleton. He quickly shook his head and put on the stern face again. “But That Does Not Answer My Question! What Is It You Are Doing Here?”
There was a long moment of silence as Sans stared down at his slippers and both Father and I stared at him. “…mpphnkl…” was roughly what I could make out of his answer.
“Speak Up, Sans. Capitalize Your Font The Way I Know You Are Able To, Please.”
There was an audible sound of a throat clearing even though none of us had throats before Sans lifted his head and, clearer than I had heard him speak before, said, “I was on break because Professor Bigmouth had to check on some results. My Soul started to hurt and I heard crying. So I came in here to help whoever it was. The little babybones was stuck under a toy. I fixed it.” There was a pause as both Father and I took that in, and when Sans spoke again, it was once more in the quiet, whispering tone I had grown used to surprisingly quickly. “uh, speaking of. who’s the babybones? where did they come from?”
“I Was Waiting Until They Were More Developed To Tell You,” grumbled Father, before his eyelights became fuzzy and softer as he looked at me. Two sets of hands manifested and gently picked me up, bringing me over to be more on Sans’s level. “Say Hello, Sans, To Your New Baby Sibling. Their Name Is Papyrus Cambria Capital-Font.”
It was the first time I’d ever heard my full name, but I was too busy beaming at Sans to care. His expression could only be described as awed as he looked from me to Father and back again.
“You May Hold Them, Should You Wish. Simply Be Careful Not To Jostle Them Overmuch. Their HoPe Is Large For Their Age, But Their Bones Are Still Delicate.”
Without further warning, I was near-dropped in Sans’s outstretched arms, which made me giggle for a moment before I focused back on my new big brother’s face. His eyelights were large and twinkling brightly, and although his teeth were parted again, they were also extended upwards in what I would later realize was a beaming smile.
“hello,” whispered Sans, somehow even quieter. “hello, papyrus. i’m sans. and, uh, i guess i’m your big brother.”
“SAAS!!” I eagerly tried, wriggling a bit in his arms in my excitement. I clapped my hands together. “SAAASS! SAN, SNAS!! SAASN? SAN! SANS!!”
I am proud to admit that my first real word was my new brother’s name. If asked, Sans would always say that he regretted teaching it to me considering how loudly and often I shouted it, but anyone with any knowledge of Skeleton Monster expressions would be able to tell how terribly pleased he was. Father would never admit to pouting for a few days over my first word not being a variation of “dad”.
(It was only when I was next drifting off the sleep that I would realize that as soon as I was held in Sans’s arms, the tugging near-pain in my chest left forevermore.)