Actions

Work Header

Rating:
Archive Warning:
Category:
Fandom:
Relationships:
Characters:
Language:
English
Stats:
Published:
2011-12-18
Words:
1,436
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
15
Kudos:
435
Bookmarks:
40
Hits:
6,441

I've Waited Years For This

Summary:

John’s waited three years to finally meet Karkat in person, but will the moment live up to his expectations?

Work Text:

Your name is John Egbert, and you are finally about to meet your friends for the first time!

Well, the first real time. Not that all the other times didn’t count, or anything… But this time is special, because this time you’re meeting all of your troll friends in person! You have waited three years for this day! Maybe even longer, if you count all the time you’ve known the trolls as having been waiting to meet them, but you kind of hated the trolls when you first met them online. Anyway, three years is long enough to wait to meet anyone, even aliens from another universe!

There he is! Karkat Vantas is close enough for you to tackle, and this is exactly what you’re going to do! You fly through the air straight towards the little bundle of anger and gray, laughing into the wind because you’re just that excited. You have waited three years for this moment!

…And it goes nothing at all like you’d imagined.

Karkat turns when you shout his name, looking at first furious then wide-eyed in disbelief. He holds out his arms to meet yours. Oh, wow! Karkat Vantas is actually willingly going to hug you! This is nothing like what you expected. You expected shouting and kind-of-but-not-really fighting and getting ordered around, you know, like what he did every time he trolled you.

But instead Karkat practically pulls you out of the air and into his arms. It is the most unexpected and wonderful thing. You quickly learn that Karkat is the most cuddly person to ever exist, which is saying a lot considering that one of your best friends is part dog! It is the most amazing thing when he closes his arms around you, taking your weight as you descend. You just want to cuddle him for the rest of forever, and woahwoahwaitaminute!

What is going on here?!

Is… Is Karkat kissing you?!

You jerk your head back away from his lips. His arms tighten around your back, giving you nowhere to run.

“Ohmygod, Karkat, wait—”

He doesn’t even give you time to explain what a horrible cultural misunderstanding this is! His lips smash back against yours, his open mouth, right back against yours, and this time he takes your bottom lip, with you still trying to force out some pleas for mercy, all the way into his mouth and licks it.

“Alright, alright, that’s enough you two lovebirds.”

Dave steps in (thank god!) and pries Karkat off of you. You are not sure you remember how to breathe. Your face feels hotter than the green sun.

“I think you thoroughly got him back, dude. I think his face may even be more red than yours was.”

 “Hey,” Karkat says, looking directly at you with this horrible, horrible smile on your face that reminds you of the Grinch, only in gray and black.

“What?” you stutter out through the hands you reflexively placed over your mouth.

Karkat shoves something into your chest. He barely gives you time to grab it before he lets go of it.

“Thanks for the letter, fuckass.”

You finally look down. In your hands is a bucket, the very same bucket you sent to Karkat through Jade and her cool witchy space powers three years ago.

Dave’s hand falls down on your shoulder, drawing your attention.

“Remember how the trolls were always so weird about pails?”

“Yeah, but—”

He doesn’t give you time to explain your mistake.

“Turns out,” he leans down to whisper in your ear. “Giving a pail to a troll is like giving a chick a ring.”

“No! I didn’t mean—”

“No take-backsies in troll culture, man. No take-backsies, and no divorce.”

“Oh my god!” You are seriously freaking out right now! “Karkat, I didn’t mean to!”

“Didn’t mean to what?” he sneers. “Give me the most horrible declaration of kismesisitude in the history of my entire species and then not show up to consummate it for three years?”

You are so tongue-tied you actually cannot speak as Karkat crosses the short distance way, way into your personal space. His fingers brush yours as he grabs the lip of the bucket. He’s an inch or two shorter than you, but your extra height means next to nothing with the way his yellow and black eyes stare straight into yours.

“Message received, John. Loud and clear. I fucking hate you too.”

Karkat kisses you again and you startle so badly you drop the bucket. It bangs down and rattles across the floor. You watch helplessly as Karkat actually shivers at the sound.

“Are you trying to turn me on?” he snaps, pushing his way even closer to you now that the bucket is gone. He’s blushing red under his gray skin. “Because it’s working.”

“Better watch out, bro. Trolls get really sensitive about their pails,” Dave says, picking the bucket back up off the ground. “If you catch my drift.”

“Oh my god, Dave, help me! You know I didn’t mean to!”

“Hey, asshole, get your revolting hands off that! That’s our pail.”

Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod!

“Don’t worry, John, I’ll make sure to wash it before we want to use it. Or I could find another if you’re, you know, in a hurry. It has been three years, after all. Have you been thinking of me all this time? ‘Cause I’ve been thinking about you.”

“Karkat, I didn’t mean to do, um, anything weird!”

“Exactly what kind of weird things did you imagine doing to me?”

“Oh my god, that is not what I meant! I didn’t do anything!”

“You mean you didn’t think about me once, in three whole years? You are the worst fucking kismesis. But then, that’s why I hate you so very fucking much.”

“No, that’s not what I mean either! Dave, stop laughing and help me! This isn’t funny! Why didn’t you tell him that’s not what I meant!”

“But you two make such a cute hate-couple, Egbert. I couldn’t stand in the way of true love. Call me a romantic.”

“I’ll call you a lot worse than that if you don’t help me! Karkat, wait! Please get off of me! I didn’t mean to send that bucket!”

“He really didn’t, Karkat!” Jade says, finally catching up. Or maybe she’d been watching all along and just chose now to step in. You really haven’t been able to see much other than Karkat for the last several minutes. “I know this must be really awkward for you, but John only put the letter in the bucket so it wouldn’t get lost when I sent it through! We didn’t remember your species’… peculiarities about buckets until it was too late!”

“Aw, way to go Harley. Ruin all our fun.”

Karkat finally backs off, thank god! You think you can actually breathe again.

“Karkat, I’m really sorry for confusing you like that—”

“Don’t be,” he interrupts, still grinning. “I actually had you going there for a moment. You should have seen the look on your face. It was worth every second of the three years I waited to do that.”

“Had me going?” you echo, confused.

The pieces slowly fall into place as Dave laughs his head off.

“You… you pranked me?!”

“He got you good, bro! He got you good.”

“You suck!” you yell. “You… you kissed me!”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot your species strange issues with gender. You know, just like you forgot that pails were not made to be thrown in people’s fucking faces!”

“You actually did all that just to get me back for that stupid bucket? I thought you were being serious! I was actually feeling really bad about it!”

“You were just joking?” Jade asks him.

“Of course I was! Did you really think for a moment that I’d ever go for someone as disgusting and infuriating as that asshole?”

Karkat jerks his thumb towards you, and you just silently fume as the insults add to injury.

“Nah,” Dave cuts in, throwing his arms around Karkat’s shoulders. “This one’s got a thing for blondes, didn’t you know?”

Dave kisses Karkat on the cheek and you are pretty sure that your brain and Jades’ simultaneously explode.

== > Hours in the future, but not many…

 “So, how long do you think it will take John to realize that we actually aren’t dating?”

“Dunno,” Dave replies with a languid shrug. “How long do you think it will take him to realize that you actually do want to pail him? How was that kiss, by the way? Live up to three year’s expectations?”

“Shut up, Strider.”