Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

School wasn’t so bad when Ranboo had various different hidey places to spend his lunch break and food he packed ahead of time.

Ranboo felt a small sense of pride knowing that no one else had found his favourite spot yet throughout his time at highschool. 

It wasn’t much, really just a glorified closet with a desk he managed to sneak in. The only reason he had found it in the first place was because he accidentally teleported during an unpleasantly competitive game of dodgeball in an instinctive attempt to escape a stressful situation.

Ranboo let out a relieved sigh as he stood up to his full height, rolling his shoulders and letting his tail flick out behind him. 

It was so annoying to constantly be hunched over and having to keep his tail close to his body. Being able to stretch freely without people getting scared of him or grabbing at his tail was quite possibly the best part of having a secret room behind the gym stage.

His phone vibrated from the table, lighting up with a notification.

He ambled over and plucked his phone up off the wooden surface with a curious trill, and tilted head.

Ranboo has been added to INMATES- It’s just school, you muffinheads o-O

Ranboo frowned. What was this? Some kind of peculiar prank? A mistake?

Ranboo: Hello?

WIFEHAVER: ELLO RANBOOB I HABE ADDE D YOU TO OUR POGGERS GROUP CHAT

Oh, well then that’s just obvious. Tommy’s the only one he knows who regularly says ‘poggers’, and that wasn’t even mentioning the display name.

Ranboo: what is this??

WIFEHAVER: UGH UIY HVAVE SUCH A BORUNF NAME

Ranboo’s name has been changed to RANBOOB

RANBOOB: Oh no absolutly not

RANBOOB’s name has been changed to ranboo

ranboo: thats better

WIFEHAVER: CIRNFE

Tubbee: CIRNFGE

DirtyCrimeBoy: CRINGE

Ranboo inhaled sharply, hastily typing out his next message.

ranboo: tommy how many people are in this chat

WIFEHAVER: AHAHHAHAHA FUNNY STORY

DirtyCrimeBoy: 13, 14 including you. This is Wilbur, btw

Ranboo gently set his phone down on the table, staring blankly at the spider web in the corner that he’d been too scared to try and get rid of. The phone buzzed incessantly with new messages as he started pacing in tight circles, tail lashing anxiously.

“Thirteen,” he muttered under his breath, nails digging into the palms of his hands.

He didn’t even know thirteen people who weren't either intimidated by him or trying to kick him in the shins. Oh jeez, would Tommy get mad at him if he left the chat? There was no way he could possibly be expected to socialize with that many people, he would honestly rather jump in the pond than embarrass himself in front of several strangers.

The teen froze suddenly, ears flicking back. The cellphone had stopped buzzing and Ranboo could almost pretend he hadn’t gotten any messages in the first place- if not for the little flashing light signifying the unread notifications.

He took a deep breath, running his fingers through his hair as he sighed quietly.

Might as well try to get it over with, maybe it would spare him some of the embarrassment if he got out now.

Tubbee: OH AND IM TUBBO :D

Tubbee: HELOO

Tubbee: OIS HE OHSAY??

DirtyCrimeBoy: shit, do you think we scared him off

WIFEHAVER: RANBOOB

WIFEHAVER: BOOB BOY

DirtyCrimeBoy: Tommy I don’t think referring to him by insulting nicknames is going to make him come back

WIFEHAVER’s name has been changed to Child

Child: YES IT WILL

Child: FUCKJ UO WILHER IM NOR A CHIDL

Child’s name has been changed to BIGMAN

BIGMAN: RANBOO GET BAKC IN GERE

BIGMAN: RANBOO

BIGMAN: RANBOO

BIGMAN: RANBOO

BIGMAN: RANBOO

Techno: Tommy, stop spamming.

BIGMAN: OH SHUT UP RHECNOBLADE

DirtyCrimeBoy: hello Techno

Tubbee: HYEA TECHOBLADE

BIGMAN: YOU GIYS SUCK

Techno: I’m not the one spamming during school hours.

BIGMAN: FUCK YOU FUCKE YOU FUCK YOI FUCK YUO

Techno’s name has been changed to TECHNOBIYJC

TECHNOBIYJC’s name has been changed to Techno

Techno: Guess who’s not getting help with their algebra homework later

BIGMAN: FUCK

BIGMAN: FINE ILL SHUT UP FO NOW

ranboo: sorry about that. I’m just going to leave the chat now if thats alright

BIGMAN: WAIT

BIGMAN: DONT LEAVE YET EVERON ELSE IS BORINF

BIGMAN: BACK ME UP TUBBO

Tubbee: YEAHHA COME ON BIG GUY

Tubbee: STAY IN TEHR GROUFH CHAT

Tubbee: WE NEED A NEW FACE RO SPOCE THINGE UP ROUFND HERE

Ranboo’s thumbs hovered indecisively over the keypad.

DirtyCrimeBoy: You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to Ranboo. But you are welcome to stick around.

A long pause, he could already feel himself crumbling under the pressure, finding himself unable to refuse and risk disappointing the one person he considered a friend.

ranboo: alright

BIGMAN: POG

Tubbee: POG

DirtyCrimeBoy: sweet. Now start heading to class, lunch is done in 5 and tommy i know your next class is on the other side of the building

BIGMAN: UGHAISDH

BIGMAN: BUT WE JUST GOT HIM TO STAY

DirtyCrimeBoy: and you can talk to him later

BIGMAN: FINE

DirtyCrimeBoy: Not during class

BIGMAN: FUCK YOU

Techno: Tommy don’t make me get Philza

There was no response from Tommy that time, the chat falling silent.

Ranboo melted into the cool floor, not minding the layer of dust that was probably clinging to his clothing and short fur.

That was one heck of an ordeal. Goodness, he really hoped the whole chat wouldn’t be like that, his social battery would constantly be dead if that were the case.

At least he didn’t have to do much socializing in his day to day life to begin with, he was sure he’d find a way to survive it.

The shrill ringing of the school bell earned a groan from Ranboo, curling up into a fetal position on the floor.

This was so stupid- he didn’t even have enough time to finish his sandwich.

But it’s necessary, he reminded himself as he pushed himself to his feet. It was imperative that he got through highschool with at least passing grades, skipping a class because he wasn’t in the mood for it wasn’t an option for him. He was the one that would suffer if he flunked out of highschool and couldn’t get a job.

Ranboo snagged his half-eaten sandwich off the table and shoved his phone into his pocket.

Time to make a mad dash for the History classroom and hope he wasn’t too late.

---

INMATES- It's just school, you muffinheads o-O 

Honkmeister: YOOOOO

Honkmeister: WHYA DID NO ONE TELL ME WE GOT A NEW CHAT MEMBER????

Feralsideofsnapchat: we what

Feralsideofsnapchat: gdi dream

Feralsideofsnapchat's name has been changed to Sap

Honkmeister: LMAO

Honkmeister: THAT WAS ACTAULLY ME

Sap: you're lucky you're one of the homies

Honkmeister: :)

Sap: ;)

Quack: GOD FUCKING DAMMIT GUYS

Quack: STOP FLIRTIBG WITHOUT ME

Quack: FLIRTING*

Honkmeister: SORRY D:

Sap: I'll buy you rock candy tomorrow

Quack: ...

Quack: apologies accepted

Quack: now what was that about a newbie?

Honkmeister: OH YEAH I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT

Honkmeister: I think his names ranboo? 

Quack: dont recognize the name is he from your school?

Honkmeister: not sure. I dont recognize it either so probably not in any of my classes

Sap: same here

Quack: I bet Wilbur knows

DirtyCrimeBoy: I don't, actually

Quack: WTF I THOUGHT YOU WERE ASLEEP

Honkmeister: you dont?????

DirtyCrimeBoy: yes well, I thought you were asleep, but it seems we're all full of surprises tonight

DirtyCrimeBoy: I only met him a week ago when Tommy invited him for movie night

DirtyCrimeBoy: the topic of school never really came up

DirtyCrimeBoy: Not too sure tommy knows either

Honkmeister: CHALLENFE ACCWPTED

Sap: ?

Honkmeister: I'M GOIG TO FIND OUT WOCH SCHOOL HE GOSIE TO

Quack: HELL YEAH, LET'S GOOOO

DirtyCrimeBoy: word of advice; Ranboo's very skittish, try not to spook him off so soon

Honkmeister: font worry!! I'm a friendship expert

Sap: I'm heading to bed now

Quack: GN

Honkmeister: SLEP WELL BEUTIFFAL

Sap: karl you go to sleep too

Honkmeister: WILL DO

DirtyCrimeBoy: don't let the bedbugs bite

Ranboo watched the messages pop up on his phone screen, saying nothing throughout the entire conversation.

Maybe it wasn't necessarily the best idea to have his phone on in the middle of the night- but he was hiding under the blankets, so the light shouldn't wake anyone up unless he was particularly unlucky.

He couldn't help the pool of unease in his gut at the written discussion partially about himself.

Sapnap. That was a name that he recognized.

A second year in his school as well as best friends with Dream, who was easily the most terrifying guy in school.

Ranboo hadn't had the pleasure of meeting Dream personally- and with any luck, he wouldn't have to- but the dude definitely seemed like someone who would beat Ranboo up for laughs.

Literally the most athletic person in a highschool that prioritized sports. Not only was Dream incredibly fit and in shape, he was popular.

Another rather unsettling thing- Dream always wore the same mask covering up his facial features. Rumours and theories were always in circulation, so many dying to know what was under the mask. 

Ranboo, personally, could not care less. He would rather keep his life, thank you very much.

So yeah, he was going to have to be extra sneaky thanks to that group chat. No way was he going to take the risk of Dream finding out who he is and becoming the man's personal punching bag.

He knew how Athlos Secondary functioned. The teachers and principal would always turn a blind eye for the sake of their precious sporty kids. Ranboo would be more likely to get in trouble for 'instigating' than they were for giving the weird enderman hybrid without parents a couple of bruises and a bad day.

As much as the skewed justice system made his lips curl up in disgust, there was nothing he could do about it.

Ranboo slid his phone under his pillow and closed his eyes, mentally preparing himself for the amount of added stress as he waited for sleep to take him away.

Chapter Text

OPERATION DISCOVERY CHANNEL

Sapnap has been added to OPERATION DISCOVERY CHANNEL

Quackity has been added to OPERATION DISCOVERY CHANNEL

Karl's name has been changed to Ringleader

Ringleader: YOU MAY BE WONDERING WHY I'VE SUMMONED YOU HERE TODAY

Sapnap: uh yeah kinda

Ringleader: THIS CHAT S FOR TRYING TO FIGURE OYT WHICH SCHOOL RANBOO GOES TO

Ringleader: ITS CLALLED OPERATION DISCOVERY CHANNEL TO AVOID SUS

Sapnap: couldn’t we just ask him

Ringleader: YEAH

Ringleader: BUT DONT YOU WANT TO TEST OUR SNEAKINESS?

Sapnap: you raise a fine point

Ringleader: QUACKITY U HERE??

Quackity: 1 secc

Quackity’s name name has been changed to Ducktective

Ducktective: WHATS THE PLAN OF ATTACK COMRADES?

Ringleader: STEP ONE

Sapnap’s name has been changed to Spynap

Ringleader: STEP TWO

Ringleader: SPAM THE MAIN GC UNTIL WE SEE SOMEONE LOOK AT THEIR PHONE AND RESOND AT THE SAME TIME AS RANBOO

Ducktective: NOPE VETOED

Ducktective: I FEAR TECHNOS WRATH

Spynap: yeah i agree with quackity on that one. 

Spynap: we can…

Spynap: ask which classes he has?

Ringleader: WHAT THE HONK THATS A PERFECT IDEA

Ducktective: LETS GO!! SAPNAPS POPPING OFF!!!

Spynap: HELL YEAH

Ringleader: AWESOME!!!

Spynap: wanna place bets on which class he has first?

Ducktective: EYYY YOU KNOW IT HOMBRE

Ringleader: guys wait are yous ure thats a goodd idea

Spynap: 20 BUCKS SAYS HE HAS MATH FIRST

Ducktective: EW 30 ON SCIENCE

Ringleader: u sure about htis??

Ducktective: COME ON KARL GIVE US A BET

Spynap: YEAH COME ON KARL

Ringleader: FINE FINE

Ringleader: 20 ON GYM

Ducktective: HA WHAT KIND OF SORRY LOSER HAS GYM FIRST

Spynap: at least I don’t puke everytime I play basketball

Ringleader: LMAO

Ducktective: RUDE

Ducktective: THAT WAS ONE TIME YOU JERK

Ringleader: LETS NOT ARGUE RN

Ringleader: WHICH BRAVE SOUL IS GOING TO TRY AND LEAERN ABOUR RANBOO FIRST??

Ducktective: I can try

Ringleader: ITS ME IM VOLUNTEERINF FOR TRIBUTE FIRST

Ducktective: AYO SOUNDS GOOD

Ducktective: ILL BE YOUR HYPE MAN

Ducktective: WOOOO LETS GO KARL LETS GO

---

INMATES- It’s just school, you muffinheads o-O

Honkmeister: UGH

Honkmeister: CHEMISTRY IS THHE WORST MORNING CLASS

Honkmeister: HEY NEWBIE WHICH CLASS DO YOU HAVE FIRST

Ranboo snorted quietly at the question. Did Karl take him for an idiot? They didn’t even delete the previous night’s conversation.

ranboo: Oh, you have chemistry first

ranboo: dont you guys get to do lab experiments there?

Honkmeister: yeah but then we have to write a bunch of things down and its WAY too early for that stuff!!

Honkmeister: I just wish I had art class first :(

ranboo: at least you don’t have math first, math sucks

Honkmeister: is that your mourn9gn class??

Ranboo grinned at how quickly Karl responded, the other teen wasn’t very sneaky in his attempts. It was rather amusing until Ranboo remembered that these people were friends with Dream.

His smile died down as he entered the school building, sticking close to the walls of the hallways and beelining it for his first class of the day.

ranboo: idk

ranboo: i just hate math

Honkmeister: TRUE

ranboo: I need to get to class now

ranboo: BYE

Honkmeister: BYEE

Ranboo waited a few seconds before pocketing his phone, subtly glancing around to make sure he wasn’t being watched by anyone.

He wasn’t sure who Karl was, but it was a fairly common name, and he didn’t want to risk getting found out so soon because of his own carelessness.

So Ranboo would play their games. If he threw enough misdirection and found subtle ways to change the subject, he could keep this up until they finally got bored of him.

Who knows, maybe it’d even make the school days more interesting (if a little more nerve-wracking than before).

---

OPERATION DISCOVERY CHANNEL

Ringleader: Darn

Ducktective: YOU JUST GOT FUCKING BAITED LMAO

Spynap: L

Ducktective: L

Ringleader: I WONT GIVE UP

Ringleader: QUICK

Ringleader: THROW ANOTHER PLAN AT ME

Ducktective: do you think tommy knows anything?

Ringleader: Hey thats actually a really good idea

Spynap: yeah

Ringleader: yeah

Ducktective: Alright so which one of us is being sacrificed to the child

Ringleader: NOT IT

Spynap: not it

Ducktective: not it

Ducktective: FUCK

Ducktective: This is fucking bullshit

Ducktective: i was the one who came up wiht the idea in the first plcae

Ringleader: SORRY D:

Spynap: im not

Ducktective: this is a fucking SCAM

Ductective: FIRST YOU FLIRT WITHOUT ME. THEN YOU STICK ME WITH BABYSITTING DUTY??

Ducktective: what are you gonna do next? CUDDLE WIHOUT ME

Spynap: I mean… Maybe if you keep that attitude up we will.

Ringleader: WE WOULD NEVER!

Ringleader: BUT YOURE ALSO THE ONLY NE OF US WHO GOES TO THE SAME SCHOOL AS HIM

Ringleader: PWETTY PWEASE

Ducktective: fine

Ducktective: BUT YOU GUYS OWE ME MORE THAN ROCK CANDY THIS TIME

Spynap: Sleepover?

Ducktective: only if we kissin the homies gn

Spynap: of course! im offended you would think otherwise

Ducktective: UGHHHH THIS BETTER BE WORTH IT

Ringleader: STOP STALLING THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL NEEDS YOU

Ducktective: AYE AYE CAP

---

Quackity grumbled under his breath, tapping his pencil against the side of his desk impatiently as he awaited the sweet bells of temporary freedom. It took all of his willpower just to prevent himself from ruffling his wings every few seconds.

He still couldn’t believe they forced him to bargain with Tommy after coming up with the idea himself.

It wasn’t that he disliked Tommy- quite the opposite in fact, kid was a fucking legend. Never afraid to speak his mind and almost always hilarious. Not that he’d ever tell Tommy that, he’d never hear the end of it if he told Tommy he was actually funny.

The real problem lied in the fact that Tommy habitually scammed people for even the smallest favours.

‘What’s that? You want me to pass you your phone charger? What’s in it for me.’ Is an exact thing Tommy has said before. 

Not that Quackity hasn’t pulled similar stunts- but that’s besides the point!

Bottom line, it’s not worth it to ask Tommy for favours unless you were willing to pay up in whatever obscure way he asked.

The bell rang to signal the end of the first morning class and Quackity was the first out the door, rushing to intercept Tommy before the first year could get to his next class.

He spotted Tommy’s vile posture and wagging raccoon tail through the crowd of tired teens making their way to their classrooms.

“Tommy!” He called, expertly weaving his way through the masses.

The raccoon hybrid turned around and grinned when he spotted Quackity, “Ey, big Q!” Tommy greeted exuberantly.

“What can I do for you, huh, big Q?” Tommy asked.

Last chance to back out. “Tommy! Good to see you, man! Can’t a guy just want to see his friend.” Quackity laughed, knowing full well it was a hopeless cause.

Tommy raised his brows, seeing straight through his bullshit, “Big Q, we have five minutes before class starts and ol’ Tubso decides to be a clingy bitch again.”

Quackity chuckled, “Right, right… So about that Ranboo guy. You got any info on him?” Right, so that may have been a somewhat poor choice of wording, but hey, they can’t all be winners.

The taller teen crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes, “What do you wanna know?”

“Relax man, I just wanted to know which school he goes to,” Quackity reiterated.

Tommy’s face scrunched up, like he was fucking constipated or something.

“Oh my god, Quackity. You are so fuckin’ stupid, how- no, nevermind, I don’t want to tell you,” Tommy decided with a loud bout of laughter.

Quackity’s wings twitched with mild irritation. What the hell was he missing? “What? What is it? Just tell me, man!”

Tommy cleared his throat, eyes gleaming with the familiar light of a bad idea. “How about this,” he started slowly.

“If I tell you which school Ranboo goes to,” Tommy’s grin grew wider, “you give me drugs,” he whispered the last bit.

Quackity groaned into his hands, “God damn it, dude. Even if I did have drugs- which I don’t,” he wagged a finger at Tommy, “I’d never give them to you. You’re brothers would actually skin me alive and burn my remains,” he pointed out.

Tommy shrugged, “Sounds like a you problem, bruv-”

The shrill warning bell cut him off and Tommy started walking off again. “Bye~ better get to class big Q!” Tommy shouted back in a sing-song voice before disappearing around the corner.

Well that was a waste of time.

---

OPERATION DISCOVERY CHANNEL

Ducktective: Bad news

Ducktective: Tommy still thinks im a fucking drug dealer

Spynap: Arent you???

Ducktective: DUDE

Ducktective’s name has been changed to Drugdealer

Drugdealer: this is harassment

Drugdealer: at least get it right

Drugdealer’s name has been changed to Duckdealer

Ringleader: and the good news?

Duckdealer: what

Duckdealer: oh there is none

Duckdealer: all he did was make fun of me for not knowing

Ringleader: Darn it

Ringleader: That means we need another plan

Spynap: Teach is gonna fail my ass if he sees me on my phone again

Spynap: can we tlak about it later

Ringleader: okay

Ringleader: that just gives me more time to plan

Duckdealer: aye

Chapter Text

OPERATION DISCOVERY CHANNEL

Ringleader: IVE DEVISED ANOTHER GENIUS PLAN

Spynap: yeah?

Duckdealer: GIVE US THE PLAN HOT MAN

Ringleader: OKAY

Ringleader: Since asking him didnt work

Ringleader: and tommys not cracking either

Ringleader: the only other option is…

Ringleader: Ahem, drumroll please?

Ducktective: DUDUDUDU

Spynap: ba dum-tss?

Ringleader: PASSABLE

Ringleader: WE MUST EARN RANBOOS TRUST

Ringleader: BY BECOMING HIS FRIENDS

Duckdealer: EZ MODE

Spynap: why the hell didn’t we start with that???

Spynap: guys?

---

INMATES- It’s just school, you muffinheads o-O

Tubbee: i jsut told shcaltt abiiut how ive been feeding the racconns all our cracker s becasue they remind me of tommy

TheMuffiner: You cant feed raccoons! They’ll just keep coming back! >:O

Tubbee: yeah yeha thas what schlatt told me

Tubbee: i dont think hew as very pleased with the amount of bird shit on the back deck lol

TheMuffiner: Language

TheMuffiner: but also, why was there bird poop?

Tubbee: the cracer s attrscked the pigeonjs

Tubbee: poop

Honkmeister: HEY GUYS

Tubbee: HEY KARL :)

TheMuffiner: Karl OwO

Honkmeister: do you know if Ranboos been in chat recently?

TheMuffiner: hmm, I’m not sure I’ve talked to him yet

Tubee: MR BOOB BOY?

Tubbee: NOPW

Tubbee: SORRY KARL D:

Honkmeister: ITS FINE

Honkmeister: ILL TALK TO HIM AT LUNCHTIME

Honkmeister: DID YOU NAME THE RACCOONS YET OR CAN I?

Tubbee: YEAH 

Tubbee: I NAKEMD ONE CHARLESTON

Tubbee: TERE ARE THEREE THO

Tubbee: LEY ME JUDGE YOUR NAMEINF SKILLS

---

Light streamed into the hall from the massive windows, displaying the courtyard that sat in the middle of the school. Deceptively calm and relaxing for the amount of inconvenience the area seemed to bring Ranboo.

The central area that was always perfectly lit by natural light made it near impossible to avoid being noticed by someone.

"Where do you think you’re going, enderfreak? You know how this goes," the mongoose hybrid whose name Ranboo had never bothered to remember sneered.

Ranboo bit back a sigh, fruitlessly attempting to pull his wrist from the other teen’s tight grip.

Ah yes, the almost daily occurrence of getting harassed by the same athletic jerkface. Because apparently it’s a crime to be part enderman and want nothing to do with other people.

Ranboo looked down at Mongoose’s shoes. His shoes were just as dirt covered as his personality, how fitting.

“I already told you, I don’t have anything for you,” Ranboo muttered.

The grip on his wrist tightened, “What was that? Look me in the eye and speak up, tallass!” Mongoose barked.

So sorry, I forgot you were deaf. Ranboo grit his teeth and met Mongoose’s eyes, hating the way it made his skin crawl and his nails dig into his palms. “I said, I don’t- I don’t have anything for you.” His voice started out strong, but began to crumble under his own anxiety when Mongoose glowered at him.

“Tch, then what’s in that there bag of yours, huh?”  

“Just homework,” Ranboo bit out immediately, desperate to end the encounter as soon as possible.

Mongoose smiled vindictively, showing off his sharp fangs. “Perfect. I’ll just take that as payment then,” he decided.

Any complaints that tried to come out curled up and died on the tip of his tongue, helpless as his backpack was stolen away from him. Forced to watch the work that he was supposed to hand in be plucked out of his bag, knowing full well he wouldn’t be getting it back later. That the teacher would sigh in palpable disappointment when Ranboo tried to explain later that he lost his homework again.

His already somewhat tattered bag was tossed carelessly to the ground after Mongoose got what he wanted. “Thanks for the help, freak,” Mongoose sneered as he walked off in the direction of the cafeteria.

Ranboo didn’t move, waiting until the sound of footsteps echoing in the halls finally faded away.

“Well, at least he said thanks,” Ranboo mused sardonically, crouching down to retrieve his bag, double checking the contents to check which papers were stolen.

He barely stopped himself from groaning when he realized what had been taken, forcibly zipping his bag shut and slinging it over his shoulder. “Of course it was the history assignment… Why wouldn’t it be the history assignment? You know, the thing that I spent all week working on-” Ranboo dragged his hand down the side of his face. 

“Whatever, I’ll just have to pull an all-nighter and hope I can find ways to word it differently than my first one,” he muttered.

Looking both ways down the hall with ears straining to catch any nearby movement or signs of being followed, Ranboo started heading for the library. It would do him good to have a head start on re-writing his entire essay, maybe it’d even give him enough time to get some actual sleep.

He didn’t even realize his phone was buzzing in his pocket until he was pushing open the glass doors of the school library.

Turning on the phone for a split second was enough to tell him it was just from the group chat he was stuck in. He turned off the alerts on his phone and slipped his phone back into his pocket, he could read the messages later if they were important.

---

INMATES- It’s just school, you muffinheads o-O

Honkmeister: Ranboo

Honkmeister: hey ranboo its lunch time

Honkmeister: hey ranboo

Honkmeister: are you here

Honkmeister: @Ranboo

Honkmeister: I wanted to know what your favourite animal is

Honkmeister: hello?

Techno: You’re acting like Tommy

BIGMAN: EYYYY TAKE THAT AS A COMPLIMENT I AM THE IDEAL MAN

Techno: It’s not

BIGMAN: YOUR FACE IS UGLY

Techno: That has literally nothing to do with this conversation

Honkmeister: tommy have you talked to ranboo today?

Honkmeister: I wanted to try and get to know him better

BIGMAN: NO

BIGMAN: YOU THIINK I KEEP TABS ON HIM OR SMTHING?

Homeless: Whose Ranboo??

BIGMAN: OH GREAT

BIGMAN: THE DICKHEAD IS HERE

Homeless’s name has been changed to Dre

Dre: Techno I’m not fucking homeless

Techno: Coulda fooled me

BIGMAN: RANBOO IS MY BITCH

DirtyCrimeBoy: no he isn’t

DirtyCrimeBoy: Tommy stop being mean to Ranboo

BIGMAN: I AM NOT BEINF MEAN

BIGMAN: THAT LABEL IS AN HONOUR

Techno: Incorrect.

BIGMAN: OH LOOK AT ME MY NAMES TECHNO AND I KNOW BIG WORDS

BIGMAN: SHUT UP

Dre: So is anyone gonna tell me who Ranboo is

Dre: Or should I just come back later after Tommy’s bedtime

BIGMAN: FUCK YOU

BIGMAN: YOU SUCK AND I HATE YOU

DirtyCrimeBoy: Sorry about him Dream, I’m afraid he’s a bit cranky right now

DirtyCrimeBoy: I think he needs a nap

Dre: It’s fine

BIGMAN: THAT IS BULLSHIT

BIGMAN: I DONT NEED SLEEP

BIGMAN: IM JUST TOO HUGE FOR SLEEP

BIGMAN: BITCH

BIGMAN’s name has been changed to Cranky

Cranky: IM NOT FUCKINF CRAKNY

Cranky’s name has been changed to BIGGESTMAN

DirtyCrimeBoy: Where are you rn?

BIGGESTMAN: TREE

DirtyCrimeBoy: omw

BIGGESTMAN: FCUK OFF DICKHEAD

BIGGESTMAN: WILBITCH

Dre: Okay, so Ranboo is friends with Tommy??

Dre: Are they similar, or…

Honkmeister: dont know because i havent gotten to talk to him yet :(

Techno: Nah, he’s chill

Techno: Just antisocial

DirtyCrimeBoy: I’ve temporarily confiscated the child’s phone

DirtyCrimeBoy: Yeah, Ranboo’s skittish, but he seems like a good kid

Dre’s name has been changed to Homeless

Homeless: TECHNO

Techno: Whoops, my hand slipped

Techno’s name has been changed to Mean

Mean: Everyone’s always talking about how smart you are

Mean: Yet this is the best you can come up with

Homeless: at least I dont reuse the same joke over and over again

Mean: HA 

Mean: HES BABYRAGING EVERYONE POINT AND LAUGH

Honkmeister: LMAO

DirtyCrimeBoy: Ha what a fuckn loser

Quack: L

Sap: L

Homeless: SAPNAP D:

Sap: thats what you get for not sharing your gummy worms

DirtyCrimeBoy: GUYS

Honkmeister: WHAT

Quack: WHATS WRONG?

DirtyCrimeBoy: <Attached is a picture of Tommy leaning against the shoulder of the photographer, eyes closed and looking more peaceful than he ever has while awake>

DirtyCrimeBoy: look at him! He fell asleep on me!

Quack: I wasn’t aware the little devil was capable of silence

DirtyCrimeBoy: asdkfkhfk look at my sleepy little gremlin brother!

Mean: Oh my god, I can hear your baby voice through the text

Quack: PFFF TRUE

DirtyCrimeBoy’s name has been changed to Sappy

Sappy: fair

Sap: are you coming for my naming brand rn?

Homeless: Don’t worry, I got this

Sap’s name has been changed to Pandas

Pandas: my names still sapnap

Mean: What was that nickname Tommy called you last night?

Mean: Wait I remember what it was

Sappy’s name has been changed to Wilby

Honkmeister: I cant tell if this is bullying or not

Mean: It’s out of love

Homeless: ^^^

Wilby: not the worst naem ive been stuck with

Wilby: it is hard to type with the child sleeping on me

Wilby: so i will be taking my leave now

Homeless: See ya

Mean: Byeeee

Honkmeister: BYEE

---

Ranboo stumbled onto the school grounds with his backpack held protectively in his arms and his tail flicking in thinly veiled irritation behind him.

He did not care if god himself descended from the heavens and demanded that he needed to take his backpack to save the world. The world could burn for all he cared, no one was going to take the history assignment he had been working on since five minutes before he left the orphanage. And Ranboo was one hundred percent willing to draw blood to defend it by this point.

Apparently people could sense his bad mood, because no one dared to bother him as he stalked to his classroom.

He counted himself lucky that he was the first one there, falling down into his seat and resting his head on his bag with a tired sigh.

Wait- wasn’t he going to check up on the group chat after he was done working?

The ender hybrid took out his phone, unlocking it with his eyes closed.

It took him several seconds to finally scrape together the strength to pry them open again, squinting at the screen.

He scrolled through the older messages, only half paying attention to the conversations.

Though he had to admit, he was somewhat curious about who the heck this ‘Dre’ guy was. It was probably someone from another school or something.

INMATES- It’s just school, you muffinheads o-O

ranboo: heyy

ranboo: srry iw asnt online yseterdya

ranboo: had o redwq a paper

Proper spelling be damned, maybe he’d stress about it later- but for the time being, Ranboo was too exhausted to care.

ManlyMan: Yeesh how many hours you get?

ranboo: of dleep?

ManlyMan: yeah

ranboo: xeero

ManlyMan: wait zero?

ranboo: mhmm

Manlyman: dang

ranboo: dagn

ManlyMan: welp, gl with surviving today bucko

ranboo: htanks

Honkmeister: WIAT YOURE ON NOW

ranboo: no

ManlyMan: HA, I like this one

Honkmeister: IMPORTANT QUESTION

ranboo: m

Honkmeister: WJATS YOUR FAVOURITE ANIMAL

ranboo: caypybarras r nicde

Honkmeister: alright, those are pretty cool animals

ManlyMan: oh hell yeah dude, capybaras are just chillin

TheMuffiner: Goodmorning everyone! It’s nice to finally meet you Ranboo o/

TheMuffiner: My name’s Bad btw

ManlyMan: I’m Finn

Honkmeister: and im Karl!

ranboo: im rnaboo

Honkmeister: HI RANBOO :D

Manlyman: Nice to meet you Rnaboo

ranboo: thank

TheMuffiner: Are you sure you should be at school right now? >:O

TheMuffiner: Its important to get enough sleep every night >_<

ranboo: tell thta to teh jerk who stole my hw

Honkmeister: SOMEONE STOLE YOUR WORK?

Honkmeister: WHO THE HONK?!

ranboo: idk man, a guy

ranboo: samw guy as usaul 

ManlyMan: USUAL

ManlyMan: BRUH

ranboo: mehh

TheMuffiner: Have you told a teacher yet?

Ranboo groaned into his backpack, talking in this group chat was a mistake.

ranboo: I’ll tell tjem whenever class statrs

He lied.

Telling a teacher would be a complete mistake- is a complete mistake.

All it ever got Ranboo was a stern lecture (directed at him) from the teacher, and worse treatment from his peers for being a freak and a snitch.

TheMuffiner: Good. They cant get away with doing that >:l

ManlyMan: yeah, kick him in the nuts next time he tries that shit

TheMuffiner: Language

Students began to shuffle into the classroom to take their seats, Ranboo made sure to curl his tail around his leg, eyeing them warily through his black and white fringe.

ranboo: class strting soonn

ranboo: bywe

Honkmeister: BYE NICE TALKING TO YOU :D

ManlyMan: ciao! Dont die out there LOL

TheMuffiner: bye! Remember to talk to your teacher! 

ranboo: I will

He won’t.

Chapter Text

Wilbur woke up slowly, blindly snagging his phone off the bedside table and turning it on.

10:36 AM.

Jesus fuck- Why didn’t anyone wake him up? He was beyond late for school!

Saturday.

Okay yeah, that made sense.

He could just go back to sleep, he was still drowsy enough to do so. But he also had a hunch that he’d absolutely hate himself for it later when it obliterated his already shaky sleep schedule.

But he also just… Didn’t want to get out of bed quite yet.

INMATES- It’s just school, you muffinheads o-O

Wilby: Ayup

Wilby: What’s everyone up to today?

ranboo: hi wilbur

Wilby: Hello Ranboo! I hope you got some sleep last night

ranboo: eh I got eough

ranboo: I got no plans for today

ranboo: other than maybe study but i dont have rhe brain poewr for that right now

Wilby: Understandable 

Homeless: Goodmorning, nice to finally meet you Ranboo

Homeless: I forgot this was still my dn

Homeless’s name has been changed to Dre

Dre: much better

ranboo: nice to meet you too

Dre: are you ever gonna change your name? Or are you going to keep acting like techno

ranboo: oh i can change it if you want

Wilby: wait wait, I got a good one for you

ranboo: okie

ranboo’s name has been changed to Ranigma

Wilby: Because I hear people are always trying to figure you out

Ranigma: its a play on my name…

Ranigma: i like that

Dre: an enigma you say?

Dre: I bet I could figure you out

Wilbur frowned, worried for a moment that Ranboo would get scared off. He was already starting to type out a response to Dream when the kid beat him to it.

Ranigma: Bet

Dre: :)

Ranigma: a

Ranigma: I think a chill just went down my spine

Wilby: I recommend you back out while you still have the chance Ranboo

Ranigma: no i know what i said

Raningma: maybe its just thw sleep deprivation tlaking 

Ranigma: but im feeling confindanr in my ability to remain more or less anonymous 

Wilby: I thought you said you got enough sleep

Ranigma: I did!

Ranigma: i got like

Ranigma: a whole six hours

Ranigma: thats enough for me 

Dre: Insomnia?

Ranigma: Something along those line s yeah

Tubbee: Becca ate my waffles :(

Wilby: who tf is Becca??

Tubbee: Reeccathy Schneifer the third

Tubbee: one of hte raccoons ive been feeding crakcers

Ranigma: L

Tubbee: dont make me sgeal your kneecaps big guy

Tubbee: bexasu I will

Ranigma: noted

Dre: so, mr enigma

Ranigma: thats me

Ranigma: first name ranboo last name enigma

Dre: right

Dre: what’s your favourite restaurant?

Ranigma: hwy do uo wanna know

Dre: you can tell a lot about a person by their favourite fast food

Ranigma: i doubt it but

Ranigma: idk i dont really eat out at all

Ranigma: I had taco bell a few times and i liked that

Dre: interesting

Ranigma: How??? Its literally just taco bell

Dre: and that is valuable information

Tubbee: guyh i hing i jus tkille d a squirrel

Wilby: Tubbo

Dre: wait how

Dre: can you send a pic

Tubbee: sure

Ranigma: UH PLEASE DONT

Ranigma: please do not send a picture od a dead thing in chat

Tubbee: okay jeez

Tubbee: relax new guy its just a dead thing

Wilby: are you sure its dead?

Tubbee: maybe????

Tubbee: its on mey lao and its eys are closed

Tubbee: OH

Tubbee: OH WAIT

Tubbee: ITS NOT DEAD

Tubbee: IT FELL ALSEEP ON ME

Tubbee: I CNA FEEL ITS HEARTBEAT

Dre: oh

Ranigma: oh than k goodness

Tubbee: SHOULDE I KILL IT ANYWAYS?

Ranigma: nO

Wilby: Tubbo, dont make me call Schlatt

Wilby: Because I will

Tubbee: I WASS JOKING

Tubbee: Also you cant callt schallt because ill jut call tommy an than we both have to deal wiht siblings

Tubbee: so there

BIGGESTMAN: YOU CALLED

Wilby: oh gods you summoned him

Dre: how long were you waiting for someone to mention you

Dre’s name has been changed to BITCHBOY

BITCHBOY: I see, it’s been a little while then

BITCHBOY’s name has been changed to Dre

BIGGESTMAN: you suck and you are the worst and i hate you very much

Dre: no you dont

Ranigma: hello tommy

BIGGESTMAN: ello boob boy

Ranigma: that is still not my name

BIGGESTMAN: ugh hello ranBOO

Ranigma: wow i wasnt actually expecting you to call me by my name

BIGGESTMAN: OK RANBOOB

Ranigma: alright i walked right into that one

Tubbee: whya is your name ranboob

Ranigma: its not

Ranigma: its really really not

Tubbee: coulda fooled me

Tubbee: If you say so

Tubbee: tomy facetime?

Tubbee: i awanna show you the squirel

BIGGESTMAN: DONT GET ALL CLINGY ON ME NOW

Wilby: and they’re gone

Wilby: finally

Dre: so Ranboo

Dre: opinion on dodgeball

Dre: Ranboo?

Dre: you there?

Wilby: Ranboo?

Ranigma: aorry

Ranigma: gtg

Dre: later

Wilby: take care

Wilby: So

Wilby: What didya think of him?

Dre: he seems interesting

Dre: I’d like to chat with him more when I get the chance

Honkmeister: WAIT

Honkmeister: WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME RANBOO WAS HERE

Dre: what

Wilby: oh no, it must have slipped my mind

Honkmeister: im on an epic quest to befriend our beloved Ranboo

Honkmeister: to get to know him better

Dre: oh, what do you know

Dre: it seems we have similar goals

Honkmeister: wiat really?

Wilby: check the earlier messages

Honkmeister: I see

Honkmeister: Im afraid we’re now mortal enemies

Dre: What???

Dre: Why??

Honkmeister: Just because

Honkmeister: think of the DRAMA

Honkmeister: the THRILL

Honkmeister: OF COMPETING TO BECOME OUR BELOVED RANBOOS BEST FRIEND

Dre: well in that case

Dre’s name has been changed to Speedrunner

Speedrunner: I accept your challenge

Speedrunner: May the best friend win

Honkmeister: And I will

Speedrunner: We’ll see

Wilby: Can I just come out and say that this is a terrible fucking idea

Wilby: I know Tommy will never admit to it, but he will actively work to make your lives a living hell if you wind up hurting Ranboo

Wilby: so tread lightly with this game of yours

Speedrunner: Don’t worry about it Wilbur, I won’t cross any lines

Honkmeister: Same here. Cross my heart and hope to die

Honkmeister: I honestly want to be friends with him

Wilby: Alright, just making sure

Wilby: Carry on then, lads

Wilby: I’m gonna go get me some breakfast

Honkmeister: GOODBYE!

Speedrunner: Bye!

---

An amused chuckle and smile found its way on Ranboo lips as Tommy and Tubbo made jokes at the expense of his name. It was probably the most relaxed he’d ever felt while at the orphanage.

Despite him complaining about it, the nicknames felt more endearing than offensive. He was just glad he wasn’t being referred to as some kind of freak or ostracized for his height.

He saw Dre address him again, and as he started to type out a response, someone bumped into him and his hand was burning.

Ranboo jolted back with a strangled yelp, dropping his phone in the process. It was an unfortunately familiar feeling. As if someone had dumped acid over his hand, it both stung like hell and made him want to tear the skin away as if that would somehow stop the pain

He frantically wiped the water off on his pant leg, teeth clenched to muffle the distressed gurgling that wanted to escape him.

“Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going! You forgive me, right?” The kid who spilled water on him did an impressive job at acting distressed and regretful, not that Ranboo would call him out on the miniscule upward twitch of his lip.

Ranboo hissed out a pained breath as he rubbed almost obsessively at his hand, desperate to get rid of the painful itch that clung to his skin even after the water had been dried up.

“Yeah. All good,” he assured through gritted teeth.

The kid pat his shoulder briefly, almost immediately brushing his hands off afterwards. “Awesome. You should probably go see miss Puffy for that,” he advised before trotting away, humming a pleasant tune.

Ranboo inspected his hand, wincing at the new water burns stretching across his skin. Did it really have to be on his dominant hand too?

He knelt down to retrieve his phone, diligently drying it off with his sleeve before typing out a quick goodbye.

And now it was time to find Puffy, as she was the one with the medkit that he very much needed if he didn’t want to end up with scars and coarse fur.

---

OPERATION DISCOVERY CHANNEL

Ringleader: IT SEEMS WE HAVE A NEW CHALLENGER

Duckdealer: OH???

Ringleader: SAPNAP, YOU BEAUTIFUL HUNK OF MAN

Ringleader: IM AFRAID OUR ENEMY IS YOUR DEAR FRIEND

Ringleader: DREAM

Spynap: HA

Spynap: LETS WHOOP HIS ASS

Duckdealer: HELL YEAH MAN

Duckdealer: HE DOESNT STAND A CHANCE

Ringleader: HE MAY THINK HES A SPEEDRUNNER

Ringleader: BUT HELL NEVER BEAT THE COMBINE D POWER OF OUR FRIENDSHIP

Duckdealer: WOOOOOOOOOOOO

Spynap: Yeah LETS DO THIS

Duckdealer: GAME ON GREEN MAN

Chapter Text

Ranboo has been added to MASSIVE MEN GC

BIGINNIT: WELCOME TO THE SUPERIOR GROUP CHAT BITCHBOY

Ranboo: are you seroius 

Ranboo: wasnt one enough

Toob: RELAX BIG GUY

Toob: ITS JSUT US TRHEE

BIGINNIT: YEAH

BIGINNIT: AND THE FIRST RULE OF RHE CHAT IS RO NOT HAVE A SHIT NAME

Toob: YEAH YEAH CHANGE YOUR USER BOOBOY

Ranboo: to what 

Toob: whatevers morst intrestin

Ranboo: uhhh

Ranboo’s name has been changed to tiredboo

Toob: not otoo tiref to go to the park i hope

tiredboo: park?

Toob: YEAH

BIGINNIT: the one we met at

tiredboo: oh yeah i think i rememver whrere youre talking about

BIGINNIT: GOOD GOOD

BIGINNIT: SO DO YOU WANT TO COME HANG OUT???

tiredboo: uh, suer i guess so

Toob: oh lovelyy

Toob: meet us there ay 3 smile

tiredboo: okie

---

Ranboo shoved his hands into the pockets of his oversized hoodie, gazing out at the rest of the park from where he sat on the swingset. His legs kicked idly at the sand underneath his feet and watching it form a small pile.

He accidentally left the orphanage a little early, but he didn’t find himself minding all that much. It was nice to have a moment of silence to himself, letting his mind wander and bounce between random thoughts and topics.

He took his right hand out of his pocket and stared at the white bandages wrapped expertly around it, contrasting heavily with the exposed black fur of his fingers. It was hard to open and close his hand at the moment, the movements often resulting in a shock of pain through the back of his hand.

“Ranboo!”

The ender hybrid jolted at the unexpected noise, losing balance and falling backwards into the sand with a dull thud.

He blinked disorientedly up at Tommy and a short teen with goat horns and ears poking out of brown hair.

Tommy extended a hand out to him, and Ranboo hesitantly grabbed it, wincing at the uneven pressure being applied to his burns.

Ranboo was pulled to his feet and then had his hand immediately taken into a significantly gentler hold. Tommy frowned down at the bandages, eyes narrowed and sharp.

“What the fuck happened to your hand?” He demanded.

Ranboo shrugged, taking his hand back and hiding it in his sweater pocket once again. “Uh, you know, just a water burn. It’s really not that bad,” he insisted.

Tommy was still frowning, “How tall were they? I bet you could beat them up- I bet I could beat them up for you. Stupid bastards wouldn’t stand a chance if I got my hands on them,” he scoffed, his tail lashing and fur puffed up.

“Eh, there’s really not much I can do about it. I don’t even blame him- I mean, if they’re always seeing the other kids push me around, it’s only natural that they mimic the behaviour to fit in, right?” Ranboo pointed out sadly.

Tubbo crossed his arms, eyebrows furrowed. “Yeah, but that doesn’t exactly make it okay, big guy.”

A quiet sigh escaped Ranboo’s lips, his ears flicking back with displeasure. “Oh, I know… But what am I going to do? We’re all stuck in the same orphanage, and there’s only so much miss Puffy and the other caretakers can do. They’re just scared kids lashing out on whatever’s nearest, even if that just so happens to be me,” he tried to explain.

Tommy went silent, glaring down at his feet and kicking the sand.

“But…” Tubbo trailed off, looking uncertain.

Ranboo waved his hand as if clearing the air, “Here, why don’t we change the topic? We came here to hang out and have fun, not talk about the things out of our control,” he suggested.

A few more seconds passed in reluctant quiet before Tubbo suddenly straightened up, determination flashing across his expression for a brief moment.

“You know, I reckon you could crush me underfoot if you wanted to,” he guessed, tapping his chin.

Ranboo nearly snorted, covering his mouth to hide his abrupt laughter. “What?”

The small goat hybrid grinned and nodded, “Yeah! You’d just be going about your day and then, ‘oops, there goes Tubbo’! Y’know, because you’re like… Fifty feet tall,” he elaborated simply.

Ranboo failed to squash his smile, “Oh, come on, I’m only six six,” he said with mock-exasperation.

“Hmm… Nope, I’m afraid I will have to steal your kneecaps now, just to even the playing field,” Tubbo decided, hands on his hips.

Ranboo cracked his knuckles, “Not if I steal yours first!” He threatened jokingly.

Ranboo paused, suddenly remembering Tommy.

He turned his head to see the raccoon hybrid watching him with an expression he didn’t understand. It looked vaguely pained, as well as like he was on the verge of saying something, but physically couldn’t.

“Tommy?” Ranboo prodded gently, ear twitching.

The teen didn’t answer for a few seconds, looking away and clenching his jaw.

“Ranboo, you-” Tommy cut himself off with a quiet almost-growl.

Ranboo waited patiently for his friend to find the right words.

Tommy brought his gaze back to Ranboo, though he didn’t try to look the other in the eyes. “Look, just- if you ever need a place to stay, you can call us, alright? Don’t put up with that kind of bullshit, got it?”

Warmth swelled in Ranboo’s chest, blinking firmly to fight off the slight sting gathering in his eyes. He made eye contact with Tommy for a few seconds, “Thank you, Tommy. I… I really appreciate it,” he said genuinely with a small sniffling inhale.

Tommy nodded, and then, like a switch had been flipped, his chin tilted up defiantly and the light of mischief returned to his eyes. “If Tubbo and I combine our height together, we would be twice your size-” he started.

“And then we could steal your kneecaps!” Tubbo finished with wide eyed excitement.

Ranboo shook his head incredulously, “Why do you want my kneecaps so bad?” He asked with an amused huff.

Tubbo didn’t answer him, instead gasping and clapping his hands together. “Oh! We could also steal your organs and fleshy bits to sell on the black market!” He exclaimed.

Ranboo choked on his laughter, covering his mouth again.

Tommy nodded along with Tubbo, “Mmmm… Do you know how many drugs we could buy with that money, Tubbo? Holy fuck- I will be so incredibly popular with the ladies when they see me and my vast amounts of illegal drugs-” Tommy suddenly stopped and looked at Ranboo.

“Boob boy, I’m afraid I’m gonna need you to hand over those kneecaps. It is just oh so incredibly important that we confiscate those from you,” Tommy informed him, appearing completely serious aside from the playful glimmer in his eye and flicking of his tail.

Ranboo shook his head, gasping for breath through his laughter.

Tommy and Tubbo exchanged glances and nodded to each other.

Tommy crouched down and Tubbo immediately clambered onto the other’s back. 

“Get ready Ranboo, you’re not getting out of this with those kneecaps of yours,” Tubbo warned as Tommy stood up.

Ranboo grinned at them, tail swinging behind him, “You’ll have to catch me first!” He yelled as he made a mad dash for the playground.

His chest was impossibly light when he heard the teens chasing after him, both shouting and giggling about his kneecaps.

---

INMATES- It’s just school, you muffinheads o-O

Fungy: oh my god

Fungy: I just spilled fucking coffee all over my keyboard

Wilby: Oh shit dude, is it broken?

Fungy: uhhhhh

Fungy: FUCC

Fungy: THIS IS BULLSHIT!!

Wilby: Man.

Speedrunner: How did that happen?

Fungy: I was just being a fucking idiot

Fungy: accidentluy bumped it with my elbow

Speedrunner: ah, that sucks

Speedrunner: Do you have any extra keyboards?

Fungy: hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Wilby: I’m assuming that’s a no

Fungy: yeah, that was my only keyboard :(

Wilby: damn :(

Speedrunner: do you want me to get you a new one?

Fungy: really???

Speedrunner: yeah, I mean, you kind of need a keyboard for half of the things that you do

Fungy: THANK YOU :D

Fungy: WAIT

Fungy: IS THERE A CATSH TO THIS?

Speedrunner: hmm

Speedrunner: no

Speedrunner: unless you want to owe me a favour or something?

Fungy: NOPE

Fungy: no strings attached is fine :)

Speedrunner: cool

Speedrunner: It’ll be in sometime this week

Fungy: YAY THANK YOU :D

Speedrunner: np

Speedrunner: just make sure not to spill coffee on this one lol

Fungy: OF COURSE!!

Honkmeister: HELLO EVERYONE!!

Fungy: HI KARLLL

Wilby: hey Karl

Speedrunner: hello

Honkmeister: so hows everyone doing today?

Fungy: debatable

Speedrunner: good

Wilby: the child is out of the house

Wilby: life in quiet is good

Honkmeister: hes out? What for??

Wilby: pretty sure he’s going to hang out with Tubbo and Ranboo

Honkmeister: Tubbo gets to meet Ranboo?

Wilby: I mean, I wouldn’t be too surprised if Ranboo hadn’t at the very least heard of Tubbo before all this, Tommy tends to go on tangents

Honkmeister: TRUE

Wilby: so what have you been up to Karl?

Honkmeister: I’m glad you asked

Wilby: oh?

Honkmeister: IVE been learning how to make FRIENDSHIP BRACELETS

Wilby: oh, that’s awesome bro

Honkmeister: YEAH

Honkmeister: and then I can make ranboo a friendship bracelet

Honkmeister: ill probably have to go through tommy to get it to him

Honkmeister: but it will be worth it!!!

Wilby: I’m sure he’d love that

Honkmeister: I hope so

Honkmeister: hmm, I shpuld probably ask what his favourite colours are…

Wilby: have fun with all that

Wilby: I best be off now though, see ya!

Honkmeister: I WILL BYEEEE

Chapter Text

Ranboo sat in a mildly uncomfortable chair, picking absently at small grooves in the wooden desk between him and Puffy.

He wasn’t sure what was happening, why was he called into the office?

Did he do something wrong? Maybe someone pinned the blame for something onto him?

Regardless of the reasoning, it made his heart beat at a rapid pace and his mouth go dry. His palms stung slightly with the sweat that he continued to wipe off on his pant legs.

Puffy’s gentle voice broke through his gathering anxiety, “Calm down Ranboo, you aren’t in trouble, okay?” She reassured him.

Ranboo swallowed thickly around the lump in his throat and gave her a curt nod and hum in acknowledgment.

“I just wanted to talk to you about something, I promise you it’s nothing bad… Are you alright if I continue?” Puffy asked.

He took a deep breath to recompose himself, subtly digging his nails into the table and nodding again.

He could see her smile reassuringly at him from the edge of his vision before opening her mouth and getting to the point.

“Now, I know you’re only fourteen, you’re still a kid- but I want to make sure you’re prepared for the future,” She started slowly.

Ranboo felt his ears flick and tail twitch in a subdued display of curiosity.

Puffy was quick to continue, “Whenever you turn eighteen, that’s when you, unfortunately, won’t be able to stay here any longer. And now I know that four years might seem like a pretty long time- but I really want you the best for you… Which is why I’m bringing this up now,” she paused for a moment.

“You don’t have to do it now- but I thought it would be best for you to start thinking about getting a job. I know it sucks- you’re a kid, you shouldn’t have to worry about getting a job and saving up money yet… But I just want the best for you, so I figured I’d talk to you about it now to give you some more time to get used to the idea,” Puffy explained, sounding apologetic.

Ranboo blinked a few times, staring blankly at the table as he went over the words in his head. Puffy just wanted him to… Consider getting a job?

“I- yeah, I mean-” he cleared his throat awkwardly, “Yeah, yeah, of course, that definitely sounds like something I should start working on,” he admitted with a nervous chuckle.

Puffy reached over the desk to clasp her hands over his own, gently rubbing his knuckles. “Again, I really don’t want you to stress about this kind of thing yet- so make sure to still act like a kid while you have the chance, alright sweetie?”

Ranboo exhaled a breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding in, taking comfort in the small amount of warmth seeping into his hands from the contact. “Alright,” he agreed quietly.

He felt her fingers twitch as if she wanted to give his hands a quick squeeze like she normally would, but refrained and pulled away with a strained smile as she looked at the bandages covering his dominant hand.

Puffy suddenly got up out of her chair and stretched, “Whew! Sorry for stressing you out there! why don’t we get you all ready for school, okay?” She suggested, giving Ranboo a gentle pat on the head.

“Yeah, sounds good miss Puffy.”

---

INMATES- It’s just school, you muffinheads o-O

Skep: can anyone help em with my nmat h homewotk 

Skep: im ereally really bad at itt

TheMuffiner: OwO??

TheMuffiner: What’s confusing you?

Skep: evterything!! 

Skep: math is dumgh 

TheMuffiner: just send a screenshot and I’ll see what I can help you with :D

Skep: <Enclosed is a poorly lit picture of a sheet of paper with several math questions, all of which have illegible attempts at solving them scratched out and partially erased underneath>

TheMuffiner: OH! I’m pretty sure I remember learning that muffiny stuff whenever I was in your grade

TheMuffiner: It’s a little complicated at first, but I believe in you Skeppy!! >:D

Skep: do oyu realy?

TheMuffiner: Of course I do!! 

TheMuffiner: I just have to go find my old notes

BIGGESTMAN: what the fuck

BIGGESTMAN: why are you oing MATH in the gc

TheMuffiner: Language

BIGGESTMAN: FUCK

TheMuffiner: LANGUAGE TOMMY >:O

BIGGESTMAN: FUCK YOU BITCH STOP TRYING TO CONTROL ME

TheMuffiner: IM NOT!!!

TheMuffiner: I would just rather you not swear around me

BIGGESTMAN: YEAH?? AND I FIND IT OFFENSIVE THAT YOU WONT LET ME SAY FUCK AND SHIT AND PUSSY

TheMuffiner: AAAAA LANGUAGE!!!

BIGGESTMAN: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

Skep: HHEY! SOPT USPETTING BAD

BIGGESTMAN: I AM JUST BEING MYSELF

BIGGESTMAN: STOP TRYIIBFG TO CHANGE WHO I AM

BIGGESTMAN: BIYC+H

TheMuffiner: I’M NOT!! D:

BIGGESTMAN: OH YEAH?

BIGGESTMAN: THAN YOU WONT MIND IF I SAY THAT I FUCKING HATE MATH AND ALSO YOU BAD ARE A BIT OF PUSSY

TheMuffiner: TOMMY

BIGGESTMAN: WHAT??

BIGGESTMAN: I AM JUST SPEAKING MY MINF

BIGGESTMAN: FREE SPEECH BITCH

Skep: TOMMY STOP FUCKING SWEARING AT BAD

TheMuffiner: LANGUAGE!!!! BOTH OF YOU

Skep: soryr bad just leave the chat ill clal you in a bit

TheMuffiner: okay :(

Skep: Tommy

BIGGESTMAN: yeah

BIGGESTMAN: ?

Skep: wtch your fucking languag e aruhnf bad

Skep: ok kid

BIGGESTMAN: IM NOT A FUCKINF KID

BIGGESTMAN: BITCH

BIGGESTMAN: SKEPPY

Ranigma: I think he’s aready gone

BIGGESTMAN: oh hello ranboob

Ranigma: Hi Tommy

ManlyMan: Sup

ManlyMan: guess who can’t fucking walk rn

Ranigma: are you okay? Did you hurt your foot

ManlyMan: nope

ManlyMan: I am currently wearing six inch heels though

BIGGESTMAN: Why the fuck are you wearing heels

ManlyMan: lost a bet with one of my female friends

ManlyMan: I agreed to dress up as a girl

ManlyMan: I look super fucking hot though

Ranigma: well, good for you I guess??

Quack: youre dressed up as a girl?

ManlyMan: yeah

Quack: you should send a pic

ManlyMan: oh hell yeah I will dude

ManlyMan: <Enclosed is a picture of what looks like a girl in a dress and standing stiffly with heels, holding up a peace sign to the camera>

Quack: YOOOO

Quack: I BARELY EVEN RECOGNIZE YOU

ManlyMan: I KNOW RIGHT??

ManlyMan: I LOOK LIKE A REAL WHAMEN 

Quack: WAIT

Quack: HOW DID YOU MAKE IT LOOK LIKE YOU HAVE REAL BOBS?

BIGGESTMAN: ALRIGFT RANBOO

BIGGESTMAN: TIME TO FUCK OFF BECAUSE WE ARE MINORS WHO DO NOT WANT TO KNOW

Ranigma: AGREED

ManlyMan: LOL

ManlyMan: SEE YA

---

Ranboo scrolled through his phone in search of nearby jobs he could potentially try out, stubbornly keeping his eyes open despite the exhaustion that was seeping into his bones.

He knew Puffy was quite adamant on the opinion that Ranboo should try to have fun and be a kid for as long as he could. But she raised a good point- he couldn’t expect people to hold his hand and provide him with at least the basic necessities whenever he turned eighteen.

It would be foolish of him not to start looking for a job as soon as possible, it was never too early to start saving up. If he could get a part-time job somewhere and didn’t spend any of his money, he would be much better off in the long run.

He just needed a minimum wage job that was okay with the fact that he was a student, preferably one that didn’t require direct and constant contact with other people. He wasn’t sure he would survive being at the front desk of some store or fast food place. The number of eyes tracking and watching his every movement would likely be enough to drive him mad.

A message from Tubbo popped up on his screen. He yawned and tapped on the message, happy to have something to drag him away from job hunting.

MASSIVE MEN GC

Toob: im boooooooooooored

tiredboo: Hi bored, I’m Ranboo

Toob: you suck

tiredboo: oh no!

tiredboo: anyways

tiredboo: what do you wanna do?

Toob: adhfhshfhhfdg

Toob: i odnt know

Toob: im just so inrcredinbly bored rn big guy

tiredboo: Did you do your homework?

Toob: i already googled all the answers

tiredboo: thats not what your supposed to do

Toob: work smarter not harder

tiredboo: if you say so

Toob: i do :)

Toob: i started wathing a show earlier

tiredboo: oh yeah? what show?

Toob: it’s a doctor show

Toob: like 

Toob: a super overdramatin one

tiredboo: did you finish watching it

Toob: nope

tiredboo: i thought you said you were bored?

Toob: i am

tiredboo: wh

Toob: dont feel like watxhing it rn

tiredboo: mkay

Toob: im liking it so far

Toob: good acting

Toob: theyre all like

Toob: I dont think shes gonna make it

Toob: BUT DOC YOU DONT UNDERSTAHN SHES MAH LOEVR

Toob: and then she goes into a COMA

Toob: and then the drramatic musci startd playing and i cry

Toob: you know

Toob: we should watchi it together dome time

Toob: rnboo?

Toob: ranbooooo

Toob: are you sleoping?

Toob: what time is ti

Toob: come on its onlt 12

Toob: well

Toob: gn big guy

Chapter Text

INMATES- It’s just school, you muffinheads o-O

NuzzlesUwU: THE KEYBOARD CAME IN :DD

NuzzlesUwU: OH COME ON

NuzzlesUwU’s name has been changed to Fungy

Fungy: who the fuck did that shit

Fungy: speak up

Quack: ha

Fungy: Quackity I will strangle you

Quack: it wasnt me i just think its funny

Fungy: then WHO???

Speedrunner: Guilty

Fungy: SON OF A

Speedrunner: So, how’s the keyboard working?

Fungy: GREAT

Fungy: thanks

Speedrunner: np :)

Ranboo latched onto the passing conversation as a form of comfort as he walked down the street with a specific destination in mind. He was pretty sure his heart would beat straight out of his chest if he wasn’t careful.

He put his phone on silent and clutched it like a lifeline as he tore his gaze away from the screen, internally hyping himself up as he stood outside his destination- the local supermarket.

It was nerve-wracking as all heck, but it was only an interview… Yep, just the thing that would decide whether or not he gets a job.

Just be courteous and friendly, answer questions accordingly, and he could at the very least say he tried his best. 

“It’s fine, you got this. Worst case scenario, you don’t get the job,” Ranboo reassured himself, pressing his phone against his chest as he took slow, steadying breaths to calm the fluttering anxiety in his chest.

He set his jaw and entered the store, looking around for whoever was supposed to be interviewing him for the job.

“Anything I can help ya with, bud?”

Ranboo bit down on his tongue to stop the startled warble from bubbling out at the unexpected voice behind him.

A man with an impressive set of twisted ram horns and flicked forward ears smiled back at him. He held himself with a level of confidence and ease that Ranboo could only ever dream of, looking totally in his element in the bustling store.

Ranboo swallowed thickly and nodded in confirmation, “Yeah, sorry, I was just here for a- uh, a job interview.”

The man nodded back and held out a hand, “Good to hear. The name’s Jschlatt, but you can just call me Schlatt. I’m the manager here, and the guy conducting your little interview for today,” Schlatt revealed.

Ranboo shook the man’s hand and returned the smile, “I’m Ranboo, nice to meet you.”

He was led into a back room with a large round table with several chairs tucked in neatly around it.

It wasn’t long until they were both sat down opposite of eachother, Schlatt settling with a pen and clipboard in his hands, Ranboo with his claws digging into his thighs to stop his legs from bouncing anxiously.

They ran through a handful of basic questions, Schlatt jotting things down throughout the entire experience and making Ranboo’s heart pound in his chest.

The questions started out completely normal, you know, past experiences, and ability to work with ‘annoying asswhipes’ as Schlatt so eloquently put it. And then the man decided to throw a metaphorical curveball of a question at him.

Schlatt set the clipboard down on the table with a click, “So, how long have you known Tubbo?”

Ranboo swore his brain malfunctioned right then and there, thinking for a moment he had heard wrong. “I’m sorry… What?”

Schlatt burst out laughing, “You should see the look on your face!” he crowed.

Ranboo chuckled along with the man, though it was more out of nervous habit than anything.

The ram hybrid’s laughter died down and he cleared his throat. “Right, right, sorry. I’m Tubbo’s brother, he’s been talking about you the past couple of days. Unless I’m sorely mistaken right now, Ranboo isn’t what I’d consider a common name. You don’t see an ender hybrid every day either,” Schlatt noted, still appearing laid back and amused.

“Oh, well… I guess I’ve only really known Tubbo for about a week or so.” Ranboo grabbed the fluffy tip of his tail, twirling the fur around his fingers.

“Sweet, tell him to stop feeding the goddamn raccoons.”

Ranboo’s hand shot up to cover his mouth as a startled laugh slipped out. “I’m not sure he’ll listen to me, but I can try?”

Schlatt stood up, taking his pen and clipboard with him, casually twirling the pen around his fingers. “Great. I guess this concludes our little meeting, now go run along to do whatever it is you kiddos get up to,” he dismissed.

Ranboo nodded, tucking the chair back in as he got to his feet. He was already halfway out the door when he waved goodbye to his potential future boss, eager to evacuate the social situation.

As soon as he was out in the open and able to take a breath of fresh air again, he let himself think about the interview. Pinpointing every little stutter or poor word choice he made throughout it, dying on the inside as he thought of how he could have done better.

He could only hope that he was just overanalyzing things again. Worst case scenario, he doesn’t get the job and has to find somewhere else that was hiring, best case scenario, he got the job and everything was fine.

Yeah… He could handle this.

---

INMATES- It’s just school, you muffinheads o-O

Tubbee: i meseed up big time

Ranigma: you good?

Tubbee: stayred up all night plaufgn breaht pf the wild

Tubbee: i was supposeed to write an essay

Tubbee: worh half my grade

Ranigma: TUBBO

Tubbee: RANBOO

Ranigma: WHY

Tubbee: TO BE FAIR

Tubbee: I NEVER DO HOEMWORK ANYWAY

Ranigma: Tubbo thats not a good thing

Tubbee: eh its fine if you knwo how to get away with it

Ranigma: my last message still stands

Ranigma: that is not a good thing

Tubbee: oh whatever it hasnt backfire dyet big man

Ranigma: you should probably start working on that essay soon

Ranigma: it is just a terrible idea to fail a class

Tubbee: ugghhhhhhh

Tubbee: yoruu no fun :(

Ranigma: it’s called being responsible

Ranigma: goodbye Tubbo

Tubbee: …

Tubbee: bye ranbooo

Speedrunner: Oh, you’re actually online

Speedrunner’s name has been changed to Dre

Dre: How are you Ranboo?

Ranigma: uhhh doing alright

Ranigma: you?

Dre: Pretty good actually. Aced my physics test today.

Ranigma: Nice

Ranigma: ive been a little busy taking care of irl things today

Dre: Well then I hope that went well for you

Ranigma: yeah

Wilby: Good evening lads.

Ranigma: Hi Wilbur!

Dre: Hello

Wilby: I’ve been writing up mock scripts, most of them just experimental bullshit.

Dre: For a class?

Wilby: Nah man, I just really like writing screenplay and nonexistent films

Rangma: that sounds cool

Dre: you’ll have to show us some time

Wilby: Oh I’d love to! Just as soon as I come up with something I’m a little more proud of, lol.

Dre: I look forward to it :)

Ranigma: Same here!

Wilby: Lovely!

BIGGESTMAN: WHAT IS THIS I HERE ABOUT A SCRIPT

Ranigma: Hey Tommy!

Wilby: *Hear

Dre: Tommy

BIGGESTMAN: OH SHUT UP WILBUR  NO ONE ASKED

Wilby: Sure

BIGGESTMAN: so tell me about this script of yours

Wilby: Toms it’s literally just a bunch of improvised plot strewn together until I get something interesting

BIGGESTMAN: improv?

BIGGESTMAN: can i help i like improv

Wilby: hmm

Wilby: How about this

Wilby: Why don’t we schedule an improv night, that way we can invite other people

Dre: I’d be down for that

BIGGESTMAN: piss off green man

Dre: Rude

BIGGESTMAN: not to be rude but if I had to be in the same room as you to do improv i would stab you in the neck several times an dthen laugh at your bleeding corpse and say L

Wilby: So is that a yes or a no, Tommy?

BIGGESTMAN: sure sounds good big dubs

Mean: Oh god, can you not do this in the house though. I’ve seen improv Tommy, he’s much louder than normal Tommy and I’m not sure my sanity will remain intact if that happens.

BIGGESTMAN: its okay techno, i know you are just jelous of how i am superior in every way imaginable

BIGGESTMAN: also your name is very accurate right now

Mean’s name has been changed to OrphanKiller

BIGGESTMAN: uh oh ranboo, you better watch out

Ranigma: dude

OrphanKiller: Bruh

Wilby: Tommy

Dre: what

BIGGESTMAN: shit

BIGGESTMAN: deleting that last message sorry ranboo

Ranigma: its fine

OrphanKiller: now changing my name for totally unrelated reasons

OrphanKiller’s name has been changed to Techno

BIGGESTMAN: oh but now your names all boring

Techno: Deal with it

BIGGESTMAN: you know what?

BIGGESTMAN: i WILL deal with it

BIGGESTMAN: bitcj

Techno’s name has been changed to THEBLADE

THEBLADE: eh, not the worst one you’ve given me

BIGGESTMAN’s name has been changed to Theseus

Theseus: you fucking prick

THEBLADE: Karma

Theseus: i am going to steal all of your fencing equipment and feed it to tubbos raccoons

THEBLADE: Sure you are

Theseus: I WILL DICKHEAD

THEBLADE: If you say so

Theseus: I DO SAY SO

Wilby: Tommy he’s baiting you

Wilby: He’ll tell Phil immediately

Theseus: YOU WOULDNT

Wilby: He would

Theseus: TECHNO

Theseus: TECHNO I SWEAR TO FUCK

Theseus: well

Theseus: ill be seeing ya boys, ive got me a fucking pig to roast

Wilby: And this is where I take my leave, farewell friends

Ranigma: BYE WILBUR

Dre: record them fighting, it’ll be funny

Dre: And then there were two...

Dre: So, how have you been adjusting to the group chat?

Ranigma: I don’t know, it’s taking a bit of getting used to but that's fine

Dre: Good.

Dre: If anyone makes you uncomfortable, remember to just tell them. We don’t bite, I promise.

Dre: Well, most of us anyway...

Dre: Tommy’s a little feral

Ranigma: he’s not that bad

Ranigma: okay no, he would definitely bite someone

Ranigma: but ehhhh

Dre: Damn right he will

Dre: Speaking from experience here

Ranigma: L

Dre: WHA- I thought we were bonding!!

Ranigma: L

Ranigma: L

Ranigma: L

Ranigma: Can’t believe you got bit by a child LMAO

Dre: Man.

Ranigma: Get rekt nerd

Chapter Text

Ranboo nibbled halfheartedly on his chicken wrap, stomach twisting into far too many knots to handle eating.

He wasn’t even sure why he was feeling so anxious- okay, no, that was a lie. It was without a doubt because he was still waiting for an email back about getting a job at the store.

Despite constantly reminding himself that there was no point in worrying about it, as it was wholly out of his control, that didn’t stop him from waking up in the morning feeling like he might vomit thanks to his nerves.

Ranboo set his wrap down on the table in his hidden room with a frustrated sigh. 

Maybe a walk would help, a bit of movement and fresh air was usually enough to make his anxiety levels at least marginally more manageable.

After patting his pocket to double check his phone was still there. He pressed his ear against the door, listening for any signs of movement on the other side out of habit.

Hearing nothing, as per usual, Ranboo impatiently pushed the door open and padded out of the small room.

He made sure the door was properly hidden by the extra hockey net stored on the stage before hopping off the ledge, bouncing on his feet as he landed.

Ranboo tried to think of anything but the interview he had with Schlatt as he walked down the halls. Doing his best to distract himself by counting lockers, or scanning the pictures and plaques on the walls from previous teachers and students.

It wasn’t working.

He could still feel the anxiety coiling in his gut like a snake, just waiting for him to lower his guard so that it could strike and send him spiraling. 

He found himself standing in front of the glass door to the courtyard, hand on the handle before he even realized where he was.

There were only a couple other students in the courtyard, huddled around the old oak tree. Neither were people Ranboo recognized, and they paid him little mind as he found a patch of grass to sit down in, so he considered himself safe for the time being.

Ranboo dug his claws into the cool ground, noting the uncomfortable feeling of bits of dirt and grass getting stuck under his nails in the process. Tiny wildflowers that had miraculously avoided being trampled on brushed against his knuckles as he picked at the grass.

He drew in a deep breath of fresh air, focussing on the sharp scent of grass it carried along with it’s gentle breeze.

Sparrows chirped at each other from the higher up tree branches as they fluttered back and forth. The water fountain gurgled and splashed from a safe distance away from the place Ranboo sat. He felt the tension slowly but surely draining out of him with each steady inhale and exhale that passed through his lungs.

He eventually pried his eyes back open when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, squinting in the midday sunlight. 

INMATES- It's just school, you muffinheads o-O 

Honkmeister: HEY GUYS JUST CHECKING UP ON YOU ALL

Honkmeister: so hows everyone doing?

Quack: EYYYY KARL

Honkmeister: QUACKITY

Ranboo decided not to speak up in the chat yet, instead simply crossing his legs and watching as the conversation evolved into something new.

Dre: Stop insulting George, I'll have you know he's very beautiful.

Theseus: well of course no onw is as good lookign as gogy

Theseus: i just think he is a lazy prick

Honkmeister: TOMMY HOW COULD YOU

Honkmeister: its true he does sleep a lot

Honkmeister: BUT STILL

Gogy: are you guys talking about me?

Dre: IGNORE THEM GEORGE

Dre: Just go back to sleep

Gogy's name has been changed to SleepingBeauty

SleepingBeauty: sure

Quack: NO DON'T TELL HIM TO LEAVE

Quack: DREAM YOU GODDAMN IDIOT

Quack: THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME HE'S BEEN ON IN WEEKS

SleepingBeauty: I think I feel a yawn coming on

SleepingBeauty's name has been changed to SleepingUGLY

Quack: HAHAHA

Theseus: there i made it more accurate

Dre: TOMMY

SleepingUGLY’s name has been changed to SleepingGorgeous

Dre: There you go George, I’ve saved you from the child

SleepingGorgeous: thanks i guess

Honkmeister: LOOK AT THIS SIMP

Theseus: you guys are all uckers

Theseus: go eat your fucking hamburgers or whatever

SleepingGorgeous’s name has been changed to George

George: you know what

George: im pretty tired rn

George: gonna go find an empty classroom to sleep in

Quack: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Quack: GOGY YOU COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW YOU BEAUTIFUL HUNK OF MAN

Quack: YOURE NOT ALLOWED TO SLEEP YET

Quack: Gogy?

Quack: George?

Quack: HES DEAD

Dre: wha

Dre: no he’s not

Dre: he’s literally laughing right beside me

Honkmeister: HES STILL THERE?

Quack: BRING HIM BACK

Dre: Nah :)

Honkmeister: this is the worst

Tubbee: welll hey at least you donet have to wrtie a full essya during lunch because its worth half yout mark

Ranboo narrowed his eyes at the message on the screen.

Ranigma: Tubbo… I thought you said you were going to work on that days ago

Honkmeister: oooooh someones in trouble

Tubbee: to be fair i never do mu hw

Ranigma: thats not an excuse you literally said you were going to do that thing

Tubbee: nope

Ranigma: waht

Tubbee: i never said i was goin ot work on it just stoped talking in chat

Dre: And now you’re back in chat again, probably right before the deadline

Ranigma: Tubbo please do your work its actually important

Tubbee: i hope you knwo i am sighing very dramatically right now

Ranigma: cool, now do your work

Ranigma: for real this time

Tubbee: alirght ill do my work ugh

Ranigma: you better

Honkmeister: hey Ranboo?

Ranigma: ?

Honkmeister: favourite colour?

Ranigma: uhhhh royal blue i guess

Ranigma: or purple

Honkmeister: neato thanks!

Ranigma: np

Dre: Anyone else have some last minute homework to get back to?

Ranigma: no

Ranigma: I do need to go eat something though

Honkmeister: D: LUNCH IS ALMOST OVER WHAT THE HONK DO YOU MEAN YPU HAVENT EATEN YET

Ranigma: chill chill

Ranigma: ill go eat now

Honkmeister: GOOD

Honkmeister: BYE RANBOO

Ranigma: BYE KARL

---

Ranboo stared down in muted shock at the email that had popped into his inbox several minutes ago. Some part of him wasn’t actually expecting to get the job, maybe it was a fake email?

He tapped on the email with a shaky thumb, even more surprised when it was real.

It was real, he was hired and starting tomorrow evening after school apparently.

He glanced around to make sure no one else was in the shared room before falling back into his bed with an incredulous laugh.

He- Ranboo- had an actual job now… Insane.

---

OPERATION DISCOVERY CHANNEL

Ringleader: LETS GO BOYS I GOT RANBOOS FAV COLOURS

Duckdealer: POP OFF KARL

Duckdealer: what did you need that for again?

Ringleader: BOOM FRIENDSHIP BRACELETS

Spynap: yoooooo

Spynap: can you make some for us too?

Ringleader: bro

Ringleader: of course i can

Spynap: bro

Duckdealer: bro

Ringleader: bro

---

A short teen with vibrant macaw wings greeted Ranboo as he entered the store, “Hey, you’re Ranboo, right?”

Ranboo nodded quickly, curling his pinkies around the cuffs of his sleeves to stop himself from fidgeting too much.

The teen grinned at him and offered out a hand, “Well, it’s nice to meet you! I’m Grian, at your service.” Grian did a little half-bow as they shook hands.

Grian walked him through the store, rambling about what the job entailed and his own little tips and tricks he’d learned by working there over the past months.

Ranboo hummed along every now and then to show that he was still listening, even if he rarely found any words to say. It was surprisingly nice to walk around the store, able to focus on Grian’s direction and advice as opposed to the occasional glances he received from shoppers.

They stopped in a back storage room with rows of shelving units.

Grian clapped his hands together and gasped with an excited half-flap of his wings. “I just realized- now we have someone other than me who can actually reach the high shelves! Oh, Ranboo, you are going to fit in so well here,” he decided with an affirming nod.

Something akin to hope sparked in Ranboo’s chest at the claim, ears perking up in a way he hoped wasn’t too noticeable. “Really?”

“Yeah- ooh! Come look at this,” Grian paused, a contemplative look passing over his face before he turned to Ranboo appearing dead-serious aside from the way his wings quivered in excitement, “Ah, but you have to promise not to tell Mumbo- he’s another worker- okay?” he informed, raising a finger to his lips.

Ranboo bit the inside of his cheek, how was he getting roped into secret keeping on his first day? He couldn’t imagine it was anything too bad, if the impression Grian gave off was right.

He nodded slowly, unable to deny his own curiosity over the situation.

Grian’s eyes filled with a mischievous light as he quietly gestured for the taller teen to follow, walking him through the aisles of packaged stock until he got to a section filled with various kinds of tech, all neatly packaged in their boxes. He knelt down to pick up one of the boxes labeled as a gaming console, setting it on the nearby floor.

He glanced up at Ranboo as he slowly opened the box with a sly grin.

Oddly enough, there was no tape to keep it shut, prying open easily to reveal-

To reveal a… A bunch of potatoes?

Ranboo was rendered speechless, rubbing at his eyes as if the potatoes were just an impressive trick of the light.

Spoiler alert- they weren’t. 

“Is… Is this allowed?” Ranboo demanded with a hint of panic seeping into his voice.

He wasn’t going to be framed for something and fired on his first day, was he?

Grian curled into himself as he burst out laughing, almost falling on top of the potato box. “Yeah, it’s- it’s-” his attempts at speech were ruined by another fit of giggles.

“Schlatt thinks it’s funny, it’s just Mumbo who- who gets in quite the fuss about it,” Grian explained, finally starting to catch his breath.

Well, if Schlatt was really okay with it then… A hesitant smile spread across his face, “How long have you been doing all this then?” He asked incredulously.

Grian cracked his knuckles and bounced back to his feet, “Well, it actually started by accident about a month back when a sack of potatoes ripped while I was carrying it, but I didn’t notice until it was too late…”

The older teen launched into a long winded explanation of how a customer showed up at the front desk complaining about the potato in their computer, complete with wild hand gestures and improvised sound effects.

Ranboo’s nerves about his first day at work were forgotten and replaced by fascination as Grian continued to talk about his silly mishaps, only really pausing to show Ranboo how to properly do a task.

It was nice.

---

MASSIVE MEN GC

tiredboo: Hey Tubbo

Toob: ranboo

tiredboo: I met Schlatt

BIGGINNIT: you met schlatt?

Toob: how

tiredboo: job employment

tiredboo: hes now my manager

Toob: ccongrats big guy!! :D

BIGINNIT: POGG

tiredboo: he wants you to stop feeding the raccoons

tiredboo’s name has been changed to JobHaver

Toob: i know

JobHaver: I

BIGINNIT’s name has been changed to WifeHaver

WifeHaver: NOW WE MATCH

Toob: aww i wanna mathc too

Toob’s name has been changed to ShoeHaver

ShoeHaver: now how is this fair

JobHaver: What can I say, you’ve got excellent shoe game

ShoeHaver’s name has been changed to CLINGY

WifeHaver: OOPS

CLINGY: oh whatwerver 

CLINGY: that naming format is shit anywasy

WifeHaver: IY IS NOT SHIT

JobHaver: Yeah Tubbo, I see absolutely no problem with this format

CLINGY: yeah you  woulfnt

JobHaver: HEY 

JobHaver: whats that supposed to mean!

WifeHaver: it means we both have ecxellent  taste ranboo

JobHaver: somehow I doubt that

---

Tommy fiddled absentmindedly with one of his prized bottle caps as he scrolled through Reddit on his phone, not really paying much attention to what was on his screen.

It was already incredibly late and he knew he would be exhausted come morning, but his mind had been racing all evening and sleep didn’t appear to be coming anytime soon. 

The image of Ranboo with his hand wrapped in bandages stubbornly clung to the forefront of his mind. No matter what he did, he couldn’t stop worrying about it- and it was starting to piss him off.

It didn’t seem to matter that he had already told Ranboo to call if he needed anything, concern for his friend still thrummed beneath his skin. 

And then he even outed Ranboo as an orphan in the group chat in front of god knows how many people because he didn’t bother to think for a second before making a joke. He felt like such a fucking idiot for that, even if Ranboo said it was fine afterwards.

He knew for a fact that Ranboo was a spineless pushover who didn’t have the guts to stand up for himself, even if Tommy continually encouraged him to kick an asshole in the shins sometimes.

Tommy made a noise halfway between a sigh and a growl, plugging in his phone as it reached five percent and leaving it on his cluttered bedside table. He took his bottle cap with him though, brushing his thumb over the tiny ridges.

If he couldn’t sleep, or distract himself with his phone, the next best thing would be to go downstairs and get something to snack on.

No one else was awake as he crept down the stairs to the kitchen, carefully avoiding the areas he knew to be squeaky as all fuck. 

Or at least, he thought no one else was awake. Because lo and behold, Techno was right there, leaning against the kitchen counter. Just… In the dark, with no lights on for some ungodly reason.

“Jesus fuck dude, turn on a light or some shit,” Tommy scowled, pretending it hadn’t scared the shit out of him to see a shadowed sillouhette in his kitchen at fucking piss o’clock at night.

Techno glanced over at him with a drained expression, squinting slightly when the light switch was flipped on.

Tommy took it upon himself to continue conversing with Techno despite the man’s obvious disinterest. “So, you come here often, or are we both just on the same fuckin’ wave length, or some shit like that.”

His older brother seemed to go through all five stages of grief in ten seconds before settling on tired acceptance. “Just boiling water for tea,” Techno answered shortly, leaning a little more heavily against the counter as he sighed.

Tommy looked at the kettle, to find that it was, in fact, plugged in and turned on.

The reason for Techno still being up suddenly clicked in his mind, remembering when Techno had first explained what insomnia was to him. 

“Did you want some too?” Techno offered whilst pouring steaming hot water into a mug.

Tommy’s response was immediate, “Tea is for old people like Philza, I am young and vibrant.”

Techno snorted, shaking his head lightly. He grabbed a second cup anyway, setting it down softly on the countertop. 

Tommy watched as Techno wordlessly dumped hot chocolate mix into the second cup, stirring in both milk and hot water.

Tommy followed the other over to the dinner table, gratefully accepting his drink as it was handed to him.

They both sat in silence for a while. Techno inspected him through a half-lidded gaze while Tommy suppressed a yawn and slid his bottle cap around on the table.

“Nightmare?” Techno guessed.

Tommy shook his head and shrugged, taking a sip of his drink before answering. “Nah, just a little too active in the ‘ead, you know?”

Techno nodded in understanding, letting out a low hum as he lifted his own cup to his lips. He didn’t bother to ask about the topic further, turning his attention to his tea. Though his ears stayed flicked forward attentively, a silent offer that Tommy could take up at any point if he wanted to.

Tommy hid his smile behind the rim of his mug, letting his eyes flutter closed and breathing in the sweet scent of chocolate. 

It’s been a while since they’ve done this. Simply basking in each other’s company late at night, few things were often said, aside from Tommy’s rambling if he was awake enough for it.

He liked to consider it their thing. Techno would make him a cup of hot chocolate and neither of them would feel compelled to fill the silence as it stretched on. Both of them content to sit at the table until sleep began to weigh down on their eyelids.

Tommy set his cup back down and propped his head against the palm of his hand, hunching over the table and not caring as it ruined his already terrible posture. “I’m worried about Ranboo,” he admitted quietly.

Techno didn’t respond, but Tommy knew he was listening, so he continued.

“People are fucking assholes to him, and he’s too much of a pussboy to do anything about it,” Tommy grumbled.

He knew his wording left much to be desired, but Techno understood what he meant.

Tommy heard Techno set his own cup down with a soft click. “Does he know that what they’re doing is wrong?”

Tommy frowned lightly. “Yeah, but he keeps being all sympathetic because they’re just ‘scared of him’, or something like that- which is bullshit by the way, because have you met him? He is the least scary person I know. I could mug him and he would fuckin’ apologize,” he seethed, flexing his claws against the wooden table.

“Alright… Well there’s really not much you can do about it other than just being there for him, right?” Techno pointed out.

The younger teen deflated, biting back a growl. “Yeah,” he agreed dejectedly.

Techno seemed to hesitate for a moment as he considered something, “Look, if Ranboo can tolerate you, then I’m sure he can handle a couple of morons on his own,” he added on after a few moments of thought.

Tommy tried to let the notion comfort him- and to some extent, it actually did. If Ranboo could survive being chucked into random group chats filled with people, he could (hopefully) deal with some bullies. And if he couldn’t, at the very least Tommy and Tubbo would be there to back him up.

“Yeah… Yeah, you’re right… Thanks Tech,” Tommy mumbled.

“Anytime, Toms.”

Chapter Text

INMATES- It’s just school, you muffinheads o-O

Theseus: BOYS

Theseus: JUST PIUNCHED A GUY IN THE JAW

Theseus: FEELIN GOOOOD

Tubbee: VOUCY

Tubbee: SAW IT MYSEFL

Wilby: Are you guys okay

Wilby: what happened

THEBLADE: bruh, you’re literally a twig. Did he even feel it?

Theseus: oh he felt it all right

Theseus: note to self. Math bookks are the best weapon in eery senario

THEBLADE: *scenario

Wilby: wtf you cant just hit people with math textbooks

Wilby: is he still conscious????

Theseus: so how was your class wilbur

Wilby: Tommy

THEBLADE: LMAO TOMMY JUST KILLED A MAN

Theseus: in my defence he was an asshole

Wilby: TOMMY I SWEAR TO FUCK IF WE HAVE TO HIDE A BODY

Theseus: RELAXX

Theseus: TAKE SOME DRUGS OR SOMETHING BIG MAN

Theseus: WHERES BIG Q WHEN YOU NEED HIM

Quack: for the last time tommy

Quack: i am NOT A DRUG DEALER

Theseus: sure sure we all believe you

Wilby: Tommy. Stop changing the subject

Theseus: uggh FINE no need to be a PRICK about it

Theseus: bastard made fun of tubbo

Theseus: that means it was a mercy kill

Theseus: people like that shouldnt be allowed to exist in this world

Wilby: Tommy you’re actually going to get sent to the office for this shit

Theseus: OOPS LOOKS LIKE I DROPPED MY FUCKS TO GIVE!!!

THEBLADE: Bruhhh

Tubbee: OOH OOH I JUST REALIXED  WE CAN SELL HIS ORGANS

Tubbee: CA PITALISM

Ranigma: I see how it is

Ranigma: first you go after my kneecaps now youre going after some random kids organs?

Ranigma: I thought i was worth more to you than that

Tubbee: ??

Tubbee: do you watn me to steal your lungs or something big guy

Ranigma: nevermind doesn’t matter

Dre: make sure you steal his heart, I hear they sell for a lot

Tubbee: noted :)

THEBLADE: Spoken like a true killer

Theseus: yeah youd know wouldnt you technoblade

Wilby: you better hope the school doesn’t call Phil about this shit

Theseus: its FIIINEEEE

Theseus: big man philza will understand perfectly fine

Wilby: Right. Sure.

Theseus: HE WILL

Wilby: Whatever. I actually like geography class, so I’ll see you when I have to pull you out of detention later

Theseus: bitch

Wilby: child

---

Tommy kicked his legs back and forth as he sat hunched over the detention room table.

The extra work packet he had been given as punishment seemed to mock him from the other side of the table. He hadn’t done any of it of course, it’s not the first time he’s had detention, and he wouldn’t be surprised if it’s not his last either.

Seriously, you hit a guy once with a math textbook- in self-defense (of another person), he might add- and you get seven pages of math problems to do? They don’t even check to see if he finished them! What kind of bullshit logic is that?

So Tommy sent another glare at the papers, crossing his arms and sticking his tongue out at them.

His ears twitched back at the light footsteps approaching the door and he groaned into his arms when he recognized the familiar pace almost instantly.

Tommy twisted around in his seat at the same time as the door flung open with unnecessary flare and Wilbur stepped into the room with raised brows and an obvious smirk. Two backpacks were held in his hands, one belonging to Tommy, and the other being Wilbur’s.

“Told you so,” Wilbur said smugly, adjusting his grip on the backpack straps and holding Tommy’s out to the younger teen.

The raccoon hybrid scowled at him, hopping to his feet and snatching his bag away, “Yeah, yeah, shut up, prick,” Tommy grumbled.

There was a brief lull in conversation as they started walking down the halls towards the exit.

But Tommy’s never been one to sit in silence for very long, “So, ‘ow was class, huh? Anything in-too-restin’ happen, or was it just as boring as usual?”

He got a tired sigh in response. Wilbur ran a hand through his hair, glancing over at Tommy out of the corner of his eye. “You can’t keep doing this, man. This is the second time this month." Wilbur exasperated.

Tommy huffed out a short laugh from force of habit more than anything. “Oh shit off, Wil. You make it sound like I'm always getting into fights- this is literally the first time I've been sent here for anything other than 'disrupting the class'," he pointed out haughtily, the tip of his tail flicking in mild irritation.

The corner of Wilbur’s mouth twitched in the subdued hint of a smile. “Right, of course. Your first physical fight… May I ask why you didn’t just shout obscenities at him until he either yielded or a teacher came to check what all the ruckus was about, you know, as you normally would have?” He corrected smoothly.

Tommy kicked at the ground with a small frown on his face, remembering the water burns covering Ranboo’s hands. Thinking about how easily he had brushed them off, and even defended the actions of his bullies.

“Maybe I just wanted to be all powerful like Technoblade, hm? Ever consider that?” Tommy tried, furrowing his brows and deciding to add on a complementary, “Bitch.” Just for good measure.

“Hey, don’t bring me into this.”

Tommy jumped at the sound of Techno’s voice directly behind him, a startled squeak slipping out and the fur on his tail fluffing up to twice it’s regular size.

Techno chuckled lightly as he moved to start walking beside Tommy as opposed to behind him like a fucking weirdo.

“So,” Techno bumped his shoulder lightly against Tommy’s, “What’s this really about then?”

Tommy’s frown deepened, shoving his hands into his pocket. “Doesn’t matter, it’s not gonna happen again,” he insisted.

The silence that followed was worse than any disappointed sigh or exasperated utter of his name. 

It didn’t take long for Tommy to crack under the pressure, “It’s about Ranboo,” he eventually muttered.

He could feel Wilbur’s confusion at the admission, even without looking over at him. “Ranboo?” The older teen questioned.

Tommy nodded hesitantly, “Yeah, I kept thinking about he’s been getting bullied, an’ all that shit. None of his teachers are doing anything about it, so I guess it just pissed me off when some prick tried to harass Tubbo,” he grumbled.

Wilbur gave a considering hum from beside him, worrying his thumb between his teeth as he seemed to think something over.

“You know, I’m sure Phil would be fine with having him over this weekend. He seemed to like Ranboo when he was over last time, so he’ll probably say yes as well,” Wilbur suggested.

The youngest visibly brightened at that, gaining a bit more pep in his step as his ears perked up slightly. “Oh, Wilbur- just this once- you are a genius,” Tommy declared, grinning at his older brother and already looking forward to talking to Phil later.

---

Ranboo was barely holding himself together as he restocked the shelves at work. Every new texture sent tingles of discomfort and pain through his fingertips, almost resulting in him dropping multiple things throughout the day. 

And if the texture thing was bad- the audio was worse.

Even things as small as his own footsteps against the floor, or the slight shuffle that came with him placing objects in their places on the shelves, they all sent short stabs of pain through his sensitive ears.

Not even keeping them folded back was enough to muffle the noise. That wasn’t even getting started on the shrill beep that echoed through the store from the checkout section, or the occasional shriek of a child that felt like a hammer being bashed into his skull.

To be completely honest, Ranboo had known the day wasn’t going to be a good one from the moment he woke up three hours earlier than he was supposed to with water seeping through his blanket and burning into his shoulder.

He hadn’t been able to fall back asleep after that. Both because of the itching mild water burn on his shoulder, and the chill filling the room that he could no longer fend off thanks to his blanket being damp.

The sensory issues weren’t nearly as bad in the early morning, but as the day progressed, exhaustion started to take its toll on him.

He had found himself spacing out more often than not during class, missing over half of the things his teachers and classmates said. The classrooms felt colder than usual, though no one else had complained about the temperature as far as he was aware of.

Writing notes with his dominant hand still hurt if he kept at it for too long, even though the burns on it were mostly healed, they acted up if he used it too much. The dull pain from his hand only added to the agitation caused from his shirt brushing against his lightly injured shoulder all day.

So yeah, he hadn’t exactly been too optimistic to begin with- and maybe he should have tried to call in sick- but was he really willing to risk upsetting his boss by calling in sick on his first week? 

The answer was no, absolutely not. He had been pointlessly hoping for his sensory issues to die down by the time work came around, but even if it hadn’t, he was determined to work through the pain.

“How does it, Ranboo?” Grian popped into the aisle, practically bouncing with every step.

Ranboo failed to hold back the wince at the added spike of pain to the already excruciating headache that pounded at his skull.

Gods, he just wanted to go curl up in a corner and sleep until all of this went away.

“Ranboo? Are you feeling alright?” Grian’s voice had softened considerably.

Ranboo felt as though he wouldn’t be able to articulate a proper answer if he tried. He squeezed his eyes shut and breathed in slowly, trying to press his fingers into the familiar texture of his sleeves, only to remember that he was stuck with work clothes.

Unbidden whines and warbles rose up in his throat, insides twisting and purple particles falling off of him, only to vanish as they hit the floor, like tricks of the light.

Pale purple flashed behind his eyelids and Ranboo collapsed to the ground, curled up into a tight ball with his tail wrapped around him. The fluffy tip settled across his shoulder, pressing into the side of his face. 

The world was quiet again, all of the previously overwhelming cacophony of the store reduced to muffled background noise.

Ranboo finally felt like he could breathe properly again, shoulders slowly losing some of their tension.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat there in relative silence, focusing solely the thumping of his own heart in his chest and the cold ground beneath him.

It couldn’t last forever though, as not long after, the sound of a door opening reached his ears.

Slow and deliberate footsteps padded towards him, stopping only a few feet away.

Ranboo peered around his gangly mess of limbs to see Grian sat nearby, wings ruffled and expression pinched into one of concern. He looked uncertain, hands slightly raised as though he was considering trying to reach out to Ranboo.

The ender hybrid sighed quietly, ears swiveling back in discomfort again as he realized what exactly had happened. “Sorry about that, didn’t mean to teleport,” Ranboo apologized.

Grian shook his head quickly, “Hey, it’s all good, bro. I’m just a little worried, it’s not everyday that your coworker teleports into the back room,” he assured half-jokingly, voice never raising above a quiet whisper.

Ranboo let himself appreciate the effort, even if he was internally panicking over his unintentional teleportation mishap. A small hum was the best response he could muster at the moment, the sound coming out vaguely warped.

The other employee shuffled a little closer, keeping himself small and nonthreatening. “Is there anything I can help you with?”

Ranboo gave a small shrug and glanced away. “I’ll be fine, I can just get back to work now, sorry about all that,” he insisted, pushing himself to stand on unsteady feet.

All it took was one step for his legs to give out underneath him.

Grian was back on his feet in a flash, catching Ranboo in his arms and supporting the taller teen with surprising strength.

The uneven bunching of fabric caused a grimace to tug at Ranboo’s expression, but it was most definitely better than face-planting into the cold hard floor. Not to mention he was almost immediately set back down against the wall and given space again.

“How about you just go home early tonight? I doubt Schlatt’ll want you running yourself into the ground like this,” Grian suggested softly.

Ranboo stiffened, “No, I-” He didn’t want to go back to the Orphanage yet, however bad the store might’ve been, that place was bound to be at least twenty times worse.

He flexed his claws, struggling to stop himself from digging them into his thighs. “Loud. It’s too loud there,” Ranboo forced out, settling on shifting the hem of his shirt around in between his fingers.

“Louder than here?” Grian puzzled for a brief moment, moving on before Ranboo had the chance to speak up.

“Okie-doo then, I’ll go let Schlatt know that you’re here. Try to get some shut eye, or something of the likes. Be back in a bit.” The macaw hybrid hopped back to his feet and fled the room with a short wave to Ranboo.

Sleep sounded nice- like, really nice.

But at the same time, could he really just… Fall asleep here? He was supposed to be working for goodness sake!

What if… What if he forced himself to stay awake until Grian got back? That way he’d know for sure if he was actually allowed to sleep here.

Ranboo pulled out his phone, taking three tries to get the password right through blurry vision and half-closed eyelids. He had a feeling this was his only shot at staying awake long enough- curse his teleportation for sapping so much of his already lackluster energy levels.

Tommy: Hey boob boy

Tommy: wanna come hang this weekend?

Tommy: Phil already said yes

The messages were sent nearly an hour ago, some time after his shift had already started.

Ranboo: souhnds good

Ranboo: can he picik me up or sould i wlak

Tommy: pog

Tommy: phil can pick you up it might rain that day so no fucking way are you walking

Ranboo: k than kyou

Tommy: anytime big man

Grian slipped back into the room, a heavy looking coat folded neatly in his arms.

Ranboo put his phone back into his pocket and watched the winged teen with the barest hint of curiosity in his gaze.

He was greeted with a smile as Grian plopped down next to him, “Schlatt said to get some rest. We don’t exactly have spare blankets around, but Mumbo said you could use his coat,” Grian offered, holding the aforementioned coat out to Ranboo.

Ranboo hesitantly reached out to brush his fingers against the material, only to immediately jerk his hand back at the texture.

“Sorry, sorry… It just- the texture’s too- it’s a little too much right now, sorry,” Ranboo explained, wringing his hands together to get rid of the weird feeling of the coat that lingered across his fingertips.

Grian gave an understanding nod, setting aside the coat without question. “No worries, just thought I’d offer.”

Ranboo leaned back against the wall. Although he had refused the coat, he couldn’t deny how cold he felt, as was evident by the way his short fur stood on end. 

He brought his knees back up to his chest and inspected Grian’s brightly coloured wings. He found himself almost enraptured by the array of feathers- they all looked so soft. Each individual feather glossy and well cared for.

He wondered what they felt like…

“You can touch them if you want,” Grian spoke up suddenly, interrupting Ranboo’s slow train of thought.

Ranboo jolted in a moment of panic- oh boy, had he spoken out loud by accident?

Grian raised his hands placatingly, “Hey, it’s okay, deep breaths, man. Was just curious ‘cause you were looking at them. Did you want me to leave? I can head out if you want some time alone,” he rambled, the worry returning to his expression by tenfold.

“No- Yeah, I- I wanted to touch them- you know, if that was alright with you. They are your wings afterall,” Ranboo mended hurriedly.

The words made Grian relax significantly, wings drooping with obvious relief. “Yeah, you’re all good to touch them, I don’t mind, promise.” Grian shifted his position to allow Ranboo to touch his feathers.

Ranboo gave them an experimental poke, something akin to joy fluttering in his chest at the silky smooth feeling against his finger. It wasn’t long until he was running his hands through Grian’s wing with open fascination, doing his best to commit the occasion to memory.

A content purr rumbled in the back of Ranboo’s throat, unconsciously leaning closer to Grian until he was pressed against the older’s side with a warm wing draped carefully overtop of him. The feather’s shielded him from the bright fluorescent lighting, further muffling the distant bustling from the rest of the store building.

Ranboo felt himself drifting off into a dreamless sleep in a matter of mere moments, comforted by the slight weight above him and comfortable warmth that spread through him and blossomed in his chest. 

For the first time that day, Ranboo felt safe.

Chapter Text

INMATES- It’s just school, you muffinheads o-O

ManlyMan: Why did no one tell me how annoying it is to have long hair

ManlyMan: this is a goddamn scam

Wilby: Since when did you have long hair???

ManlyMan: its only a wig but that doesnt make it any less terrible

Ranigma: Oh are you crossdressing again?

Wilby: Again?

ManlyMan: Take a guess

ManlyMan: <Enclosed is a picture of Finn, an exasperated expression on his face as he held light blue bangs out of his eyes with his free hand>

Ranigma: Sick

Ranigma: what bet did you lose this time?

Wilby: Wait

ManlyMan: about that

ManlyMan: wasnt a bet this time

Ranigma: really??

Wilby: Guys

ManlyMan: I just wanted to fuck with people on omegle lol

Wilby: If I may interject real quick

ManlyMan: speak

Ranigma: yeah go ahead

Wilby: uh yeah, since when did you start crossdressing?

Wilby: And why did Ranboo know about this before me?

ManlyMan: little while back i lost a bet with one of my friends

ManlyMan: i only brought it up once so you were probably just offline whenever i did it the first time

Wilby: So you’re just doing this for fun now then?

ManlyMan: yeah, got a problem with tha tbucko

Wilby: Nah, i actually think it’s really impressive

ManlyMan: ye just messin with you man

Wilby: Do you do it all yourself

ManlyMan: if by do it myself you mean fuck around with my mums old makeup until it looks somewhat okay

ManlyMan: then yeah its all me dude

Wilby: Good stuff

ManlyMan: still need to figure out this hair stuff tho

THEBLADE: Bruh, just use hair clips.

ManlyMan: Techno you are an absolute godsend

THEBLADE: It’s really not that hard.

ManlyMan: bro please im too dumb to think of this shit on my own

Ranigma: I’m sure you would have figured it out eventually

ManlyMan: thank you ranboo you have too much faith in my intelligence

Ranigma: Maybe

Ranigma: anyway, I have to leave now byee

Wilby: later

ManlyMan: gbye

---

“Hey, I just wanted to- uh, thank you. For- for helping me out yesterday… Yeah, so- um, thank you,” Ranboo stumbled over his words, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

Grian, who had been giggling quietly to himself as he stood in front of the coat rack, spun around at the sound of Ranboo’s voice. The winged teen’s eyes were wide, putting his hands up with a high pitched squawk of, “Nothing!” Before he realized who it was.

Grian let out a sigh of relief, “Oh my goodness, I thought you were Mumbo for a second there- yeesh, nearly gave me a heart attack,” he sighed, a hand over his heart.

He ruffled his wings and straightened up, “Sorry, what were you on about before?” Grian asked sheepishly.

Ranboo blinked a few times, unable to help the moment of confusion before shaking it off. “Uh, just wanted to say thanks for helping me yesterday, it was very nice of you,” he repeated.

“Of course, common decency, right?” Grian nodded distractedly, one hand in his pocket.

A small smile graced Ranboo’s lips. Right… Common decency.

And then he noticed a very specific look on his face, one that Ranboo had quickly come to recognize throughout his week of working on the store. Grian had a prank in mind.

Ranboo glanced over Grian’s shoulder at the coat rack, where he could recognize Schlatt’s and Mumbo’s coats hung up, the only two people still wearing their jackets during mid-spring.

Maybe he should have let it be, turn the other way and get to work. And sure, maybe if it had been a few days ago, he actually would have- but at the same time… Whatever prank Grian intended to pull was bound to be funny.

“May I ask what you’re up to?” Ranboo questioned, tail twitching in silent anticipation.

Grian’s eyes darted around the room to double check that they were alone before taking a clear container filled to the brim with glitter out of his pocket and nodding wordlessly towards the coat rack.

A sly grin tugged at the corner of Grian’s mouth, “Oh, you know. Just giving our good pal Mumbo Jumbolio a little more sparkle to his wardrobe,” he revealed with a small shake of the glitter container.

Ranboo found himself returning the smile, “Oh, that is just fantastic.” He could already picture his normally well dressed and put together colleague covered in brightly coloured glitter that would last for several days at least. Reduced to a sparkly mess that reflected against the light.

Grian nodded along in agreement as he snatched Mumbo’s coat from the rack and laid it out on a nearby table along with the container.

“Do you wanna help out? You can be like my pranking apprentice! And I’ll be your- what was that one word? Sensei?” Grian bubbled, feathers quivering with excited energy.

An amused chuckle escaped Ranboo as he trotted over to the other teen. No matter how much he tried to conceal it, he couldn’t deny the pure joy he felt whenever he was included in something- even if that something happened to be a glitter prank.

Grian popped open the lid of the container and handed it to him, “Here, I’ll hold the coat, you can pour glitter- fair warning, you’ll probably end up looking a little more glittery than usual as well,” he cautioned.

Ranboo shrugged and accepted the container, “Worth it.”

The coat was covered in multicoloured glitter in a matter of minutes, not a single thread spared. 

Grian held their hard work up to the light and they both squinted at it as it reflected back at them.

It was glorious, the perfect prank.

“One last thing before we get to work,” Grian started as he hung Mumbo’s coat back up and uselessly attempted to brush the glitter from his hands.

The winged teen took his phone out of his pocket and turned back to Ranboo, “Since I’m your sensei- teacher in the art of pranking- now, I think it’s only fair we exchange phone numbers.” Grian decided with a self assured nod of his head.

Ranboo fumbled around with his own phone, unsure, but excited nonetheless. The only number he had in his phone other than Miss Puffy’s was Tommy’s- and that was because the teen had quite literally stolen his phone to put it in there.

 There was just something weirdly stressful about exchanging phone numbers with someone, who knows what they’ll do with that kind of knowledge.

And he’d also just feel really bad if he accidentally ghosted someone. At least in a group chat, it’s understandable to miss a message or two throughout the day.

But at the same time- as he looked Grian over, the shorter hybrid’s wings glittering with the aftermath of their prank, eyes bright- Ranboo discovered that he was actually okay with this. He didn’t mind sharing his number with someone like Grian.

So Ranboo unlocked his phone and handed it over to the person he was beginning to consider a friend, accepting Grian’s phone and punching in his phone number into the contact list without another moment of hesitation.

---

Tommy: VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION

Tommy: THE UNIVERSE ITSELF MAY COLLAPS IF YOU DONT AANSWER ME

Ranboo: uh huh?

Tommy: YEAH

Tommy: BIG MAN PHILZA NEEDS TO KNOW WHEN TO PICK YOU UP

Ranboo: eight thirty works

Tommy: five minutes from now

Tommy: hmmmm you drive a hard bargain

Ranboo: What part of that is a bargain??

Tommy: WELL HAVE TO GO ABOVE THE SPEED LIMIT

Tommy: BUT ITS PHILZA SO EVEN IF WE GET PULLED OVER THE COPS SHALL SIMPLY APOLOGIZE FOR BOTHERING US

Ranboo: wait no

Ranboo: I didn’t realize that was fivee minutes form now

Ranboo: I just meant im good to go anytime after then

Ranboo: please dont speed

Tommy: TOO LATE BITCH

Tommy: SPEEDRUNNING WAITS FOR NO MAN

Ranboo: Tommy please

Tommy: SEE YOU IN FIVE BOOB BOY

Ranboo: I hate it here

---

Thankfully, it did not, in fact, take a measly five minutes for Phil to arrive with Tommy in the passenger seat. Instead, they took ten minutes to get to the Orphanage. Still a little faster than they maybe should have gotten there, but Ranboo was willing to overlook it.

It took no longer than three seconds for Tommy to strike up a conversation, prattling on about exaggerated school stories and hopping from topic to topic as he got distracted by a stray thought.

 Admittedly, Ranboo was only really half-paying attention to what was being said, zoning out in the middle of a boast of how Tommy could challenge Dwayne The Rock Johnson to a fistfight and win.

The car ride carried on that way until Tommy’s words suddenly paused, unexpected silence causing Ranboo to tilt his head curiously.

Tommy had an almost contemplative look on his face as he looked over at Ranboo, eyes flicking down to the ender hybrid’s still wrapped hand.

“So, how’s the hand treatin’ you, ‘uh? Feeling any better yet?” Tommy asked with a discreet glance towards Phil that almost went unnoticed by the other teen.

When Phil adjusted his rear-view mirror to give him a concerned look, Ranboo realized exactly what Tommy had done.

Damn, that sneaky little Raccoon.

“You hurt your hand? What happened?” Phil worried, his brows still slightly pinched together as he turned his attention back to the road ahead.

Ranboo shrugged lamely and averted his gaze, “Oh, it’s just a little water burn. Nothing too bad, a silly little accident.” Not technically a lie, but Tommy had narrowed his eyes at him as though it had been.

It didn’t come as much of a surprise when Tommy made another pointed comment in retaliation. “Yeah? So you can flex your hand now ‘n all that shit?”

Ranboo raised his bandaged hand to open and close it a few times in demonstration, glaring flatly. “Mhm, easy- ah, shoot,” he hissed when a twinge of pain shot through his hand.

Tommy made an expression that was very (in Ranboo’s humble opinion) unnecessarily smug, eyebrows raised. “Yeah, easy,” he echoed dryly, ears flicking to the side.

Phil glanced back at Ranboo through the mirror, “You sure you’re okay, mate? I can look at it when we get back to the house if you want,” he offered.

Ranboo shook his head quickly in response before realizing that Phil was looking at the road again and couldn’t see the movement. “No, no! It’s fine, you really don’t have to do that. Miss Puffy’s been taking good care of it,” he insisted.

There was really no need for Tommy to be making such a big deal out of this, and definitely no reason to try getting Phil involved either. It just didn’t make any sense, it was just a little burn, why did people seem to get so hung up about it?

“Alright, as long as you’re sure,” Phil conceded, albeit somewhat reluctantly.

Another day, another crisis expertly avoided- well, for the time being, at least. Ranboo could never tell when things were about to spiral into chaos when Tommy was involved.

But at the very least, the topic was changed as Tommy started up a new conversation to fill the momentary lull of silence.

---

Grian: Hey Ranboo just thought I’d check up on you

Grian: How are you on this fine afternoon?

Ranboo: Doing good!

Ranboo: Still covered in glitter though lol

Grian: haha oops

Ranboo: its fine im sure ill find a way to rid myself of this sparkly plague at some point

Grian: with any luck it’ll only take a few cycles through the washer

Ranboo: oh jeez how am I gonna get it out of my hair???

Ranboo: I straight up cant take showers because enderman

Grian: hmmm

Grian: preening?

Grian: mayhaps?

Ranboo: ehh

Ranboo: not a bird hybrid, can’t say I really know how to do that

Grian: I could help!

Grian: not to brag or anything, but i am kind of an expert when it comes to preening

Ranboo: oh really? never would have guessed

Grian: :P

Ranboo: sorry gtg

Ranboo: at a friends house right now and i think we’re about to play some boardgames now

Grian: oh have fun then!!

Ranboo slipped his phone back into his pocket with a small smile on his face as Tommy sauntered into the room with an armful of various board games.

The raccoon hybrid took one look at Ranboo sitting half-curled on the single couch and made an expression similar to a grimace at the sight. “Come on, man. Stop being all anti-social, sit on the comfy couch for all us big men instead of that fuckin’ pussy ass excuse of a chair,” Tommy scoffed, carelessly dropping the games down on the coffee table with a loud thud.

“Oh, uh- alright?” Ranboo switched seats with a mildly confused chuckle.

At the very least, it seemed to make Tommy happier, striped tail swishing as he spread out the games for display.

After they were all appropriately spaced out for viewing purposes, Tommy spun around to look back at Ranboo. “Pick a game, bitch. The boys’ll be joining us in a few.”

Hmm, there were certainly a plethora to choose from. Most of which he, admittedly, didn’t recognize in the slightest. Though one game in particular stood out to him amongst the array, with it’s borderline obnoxious silvers and greens accompanied by the blaring red rectangle and white lettering on the front.

The mini smile that had previously formed on his face came a little easier, “I’m pretty good at Monopoly- uh, you good, man?” Ranboo furrowed his brows at Tommy, who was staring up at him, mouth slightly agape and eyes wide and weirdly dilated.

Just as Ranboo was about to make another comment, maybe ask if he had something on his face, maybe call out for help- Tommy clambered onto the couch.

The other teen then proceeded to lean uncomfortably close, head tilted and blue eyes focusing just above Ranboo’s face. 

“Seriously, should I go get Phil?” Ranboo questioned, tilting his head back at the blond.

Apparently that was the wrong move though, because immediately afterwards, Tommy quite nearly launched himself forward. 

Ranboo stiffened as curious fingers sifted through his hair and tugged on random strands. Almost as if in a trance of sorts, Tommy made an appreciative trill, completely fascinated with the other’s hair for some unknown reason.

Luckily, Techno decided that was the perfect time to make an appearance. The pink haired man shuffling into the living room like the socially awkward hero who was probably forced to show up that he was.

Only for Techno to take one look at the scenario unfolding and immediately turn to leave with some muttered words Ranboo couldn’t quite catch thanks to Tommy’s forearm blocking one of his ears.

Ranboo forced himself to make eye-contact with the older teen, eyes wide as he tried to convey as much desperation for assistance as he could. “Techno, please.”

Techno sighed, hesitating in the doorway… And then, to Ranboo’s immense relief, he turned around and strode over to them. 

“Alright, Tommy. Off.” Techno grabbed the aforementioned teen by the scruff of his shirt and lifted him up with ease, the movement seeming so practiced that Ranboo was starting to doubt this was an uncommon occurrence.

Techno raised a singular brow when Tommy started whining. “Techno, why are you so mean all the time?” 

“I’m not the one who was just harassin’ Ranboo,” Techno deadpanned, dropping Tommy unceremoniously onto the opposite end of the couch.

Tommy responded by sighing dramatically and leaning back against the armrest with the back of his hand over his head. “But Techno, he’s- how do I put this- he’s just… Shiny!” He exclaimed loudly, voice still lilting into a bit of a whine.

Shiny? Since when- Oh, the glitter… Oh, well Ranboo just felt like an idiot for not realizing sooner.

Then again, how was he supposed to know that Tommy’s love of shiny things would extend to bits of glitter stuck in Ranboo’s hair?

Techno cleared his throat in an obvious suppression of a laugh, “Wow, imagine hyperfocusin’ on shiny things. Couldn’t be me.”

There was something about the way that was said that gave Ranboo the sneaking suspicion that he was missing some information. Were pigs attracted to shiny things, or…? Right, right, Piglins liked gold, didn’t they?

Not that it mattered, it wasn't really Ranboo’s business.

Tommy flipped Techno off, “Oi, shove off, dickhead. At least I didn’t fuckin’ growl at you for trying to tear me away from the shiny shit,” he snarked.

“I never growled at you!” Techno refuted, his normally monotone voice going up a few pitches in indignation.

Wilbur stepped into the living room, a frown playing on his lips. “Yeah, that’s because you growled at me for trying, very bravely, to save Tommy from your evil clutches so that he could be my little errand boy and go fetch me snacks from the corner store in return for saving him,” Wilbur corrected.

Ah, it seemed Ranboo’s earlier assumptions about this being far from the first time were quite accurate then.

Tommy scrambled up into a sitting position, “Hey, wait! You were only helping me because you wanted me to run to the store?!” He squawked, pointing an accusatory finger towards Wilbur.

The man shrugged with a nonchalant, “Yeah, obviously.”

Techno clapped his hands together, “See? I was actually doin’ you a favour by not letting anyone other than Phil within five feet of you!” He pointed out.

Tommy scrunched up his nose, “Yeah, but it was still annoying, you fuckin’ pig prick.”

“Boys!” Phil beat his wings a few times to gain everyone’s attention as he walked in with a bowl of chips held in one arm.

All arguing quickly died down, save for one last muttered insult from Tommy.

Phil pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Seriously, can you at least try not to be feral when we have guests over?” He exasperated.

There was a collective mumble of “Sorry Phil.” From the collection of siblings.

Phil’s apologetic gaze flickered over to Ranboo, who had been watching on with a subdued sense of fascination. “Sorry ‘bout all that, mate. I’m afraid to say they’re always this chaotic. Did you end up deciding on a board game?” 

Oh man, how did he forget about the board games? Actually, wait- it was pretty easy to forget about the board games with everything else going on at the time.

But that didn’t mean he had forgotten which game he’d already decided on earlier. Ranboo’s grin sharpened almost imperceptibly, anticipation already beginning to coil inside of him. “Yeah, actually, I do. Y’all up for some Monopoly?”

Chapter Text

Blood pounded in Ranboo’s ears, finding himself frozen in place and lacking control over his own limbs.

Panic clawed at his chest and tightened around his throat, choking the air out of him.

A river raged and swirled around him, the threat of water overtaking the rock he was trapped on becoming more apparent with each passing second. Small droplets of moisture speckled over Ranboo, clinging to his short fur and melting his skin away in the process.

Ranboo tried to open his mouth to scream, but his jaw was welded shut from melted bones.

He frantically looked around while he could still see, searching for any kind of escape. Hopelessly trying to find someone to save him from his horrible fate.

A familiar figure came into view, though Ranboo couldn't quite place who it was.

One second they had a striped tail and blue eyes, the next there was curled brown hair and a charming smile- only to flicker into a bright burst of feathers before shifting from red, yellow, and blue into dark grey and a green hat.

Not that Ranboo could pinpoint any of those things, all he knew was that they were familiar, they were safe.

Ranboo’s numb and partially fallen apart body seemed to mend itself back together. The teen reached out and called for help, voice hoarse and rough against his throat.

The figure didn't hear him, gaze drifting past Ranboo as they started walking away.

The ground trembled underfoot as the river grew more restless, water level rising and crashing waves licking at Ranboo’s boots.

He was forced to watch with wide-eyed terror as a massive wave was summoned from the torrent to swallow him whole.

Ranboo clung to the rock, his final lifeline, fighting against the current that greedily ate away at his flesh.

One final push was all it took for Ranboo to lose his grip, condemned to the cold water that batted him around and carried him away as if he were nothing.

Ranboo awoke with a jolt, eyes snapping open and inhaling sharply to combat the dull ache in his chest.

Fear was still flooding his senses, making every noise a threat and the blankets covering his legs a deathly trap. The slight itch in his shoulder seemed amplified after the nightmare, every uneven shift of fabric against the minor burn felt jagged and sent flashes of pain through his neck and shoulder.

He kicked away the blankets and scrambled into a sitting position, nearly falling over immediately thanks to the unfamiliar squish of the air mattress he had been sleeping on.

His eyes darted around the dark room, though he wasn’t sure what he was searching for. Sight drifting from posters, to figurines, to Tommy, who was still fast asleep in his bed.

Growing restlessness urged Ranboo into action, crawling off of the mattress and padding out of the room, never making even the slightest of sounds as he slipped out the door and shut it softly behind him.

The wooden flooring was cold underfoot, reminding him of early mornings at the Orphanage. Mornings where he would be the first to wake, quickly giving up on the hope of falling back asleep when light bled through the curtains and directly into his eyes.

Of sneaking to the kitchen to grab something to eat before the rest of the kids woke up and began clamouring for breakfast.

Ranboo stopped in the kitchen of Tommy’s house, staring blankly out the window over the sink.

Raindrops dotted the glass pain, water gathering and streaking down across the surface. 

Water crashing around him, tearing him apart and trying to force his head under, stealing the air from his lungs and burning him-

He tore his eyes away with jerky movement, pointedly taking in a deep breath, if only to prove to himself that he still could.

“It’s fine, you’re fine, see? You’re inside and safe from the water, absolutely no reason to be upset right now,” Ranboo muttered to himself, tail coiled tight at his ankles and nails digging into his palms.

He pointed his gaze downward and fled into the living room, sitting down on the couch and drawing his knees up against his chest.

The hybrid pressed his face against his knees and shut his eyes, breathing in through the nose… And out through the mouth. Doing his best to fill his mind with whatever useless noise he could think of to block out the sound of rain.

Just distract himself, if he could stop himself from dwelling on the nightmares plaguing his mind and the drizzling rain that pattered against the windows and pooled in the streets, then everything would be fine.

He was sure of it.

---

Techno woke up painfully early and found himself unable to fall back asleep.

So instead of wasting away in bed all morning while scrolling through his phone, he decided to actually get up. Look at him, being all productive and getting breakfast before noon for once.

He was fully expecting to be the only one awake at seven on a Saturday, so one could imagine his surprise upon seeing Ranboo already downstairs.

The kid was sitting lopsided against the armrest of the couch, eyes wide and unfocused, tail curled against himself.

“Mornin’,” Techno grunted before slipping into the kitchen to fix himself up a cup of coffee.

Should he offer Ranboo coffee? That was something you were supposed to do when you had a guest over, right? 

Techno peeked back into the living room, “Do you, uh, want a drink or something? Coffee, tea?” He questioned.

Ranboo, who was still curled up on the couch, said nothing in return. There wasn’t so much as a twitch of his ears to indicate that the kid had heard him in the first place. His eyes looked strangely vacant, downturned and staring at nothing in particular.

A curious concern prickled at the back of Techno’s mind. He found himself attempting to analyze the younger before he even fully realized what he was doing.

Taking in as many subtle hints as Ranboo’s posture would give away.

Noticing the way he’d always seemed to be at least partially curled in on himself. Even when they were playing Monopoly the night before, even as the kid had gained a wicked smirk and drove Tommy into bankruptcy, he still kept his knees and tail drawn close.

Ranboo’s ears were always perked and twitching in a way that suggested he was forever listening to threats of danger no one else seemed to hear.

It made Techno think about what Tommy had said not too long ago. When the youngest looked almost miserable with his mug of hot chocolate as he grumbled about people treating his friend poorly.

At the time, Techno hadn’t been too worried. Tommy was the kind of person to throw a fit if someone so much as looked at him funny, so he wouldn’t have been surprised if the situation was being blown way out of proportion.

But seeing Ranboo now, noticing expertly wrapped bandages covering his hand, and the subtle unbalance between his two shoulders, as though he were reluctant to so much as shift the placement of his right shoulder. Techno was beginning to suspect that Tommy’s concerns were being founded on something much more substantial than name calling or weird looks.

He couldn’t help but wonder how bad it really was, how frequently Ranboo was pushed around and hurt by his peers. Curiosity merged with concern as he internally debated which was worse for the kid, school, or the Orphanage. 

Was Puffy being there enough to stop people from hurting him? Or was she too busy taking care of the younger kids to notice when another bruise or burn appeared on Ranboo while she wasn’t looking.

Well… It was like he said to Tommy. The most they could really do was just to be there for him and hope he knew when and how to ask for help.

Techno sighed quietly, “Hey Ranboo, you feelin’ alright?”

The teen finally seemed to snap out of his daze, even if only partially. Ranboo’s gaze flitted up to meet Techno’s briefly before quickly flinching back and averting his gaze towards the ground again. “I’m fine… Just tired,” Ranboo assured, voice nearly inaudible.

“Right,” Techno agreed dryly.

And then he noticed the way Ranboo’s fingers were perpetually twisting and fidgeting with the fluff of his tail, immediately reminded of Tommy’s habit of twirling his bottle caps between his hands- or even Techno’s own habit of messing around with whatever object he had on hand when he was stressed or lost in thought.

He was struck with an idea, the perfect kind that had little to no conceivable way of backfiring on him. Unless, of course, Ranboo had a very specific hatred for rubik's cubes- but Techno was pretty sure it would be fine.

Giving the kid one last look over, Techno moved to leave. “I’ll be back in a bit,” he informed before disappearing up the stairs to retrieve the desired item.

When he got back downstairs, colourful cube in hand, Ranboo still hadn’t moved from his spot on the couch.

“Hey, I… I brought you something, if you want.” Techno sat down beside him, holding out the rubik’s cube and tapping it lightly against the kid’s knee.

Ranboo’s eyes flicked back up, reaching a hesitant hand out to take the offered object.

And so that was how Techno ended up sitting, still half asleep because he failed to get coffee, and with Ranboo methodically messing up and resolving the rubik’s cube. Tension slowly seeped out of the teen the longer he kept at the task, leaning, probably subconsciously, until he was pressed against Techno’s shoulder.

Techno’s eyes drooped, and he probably would have fallen asleep if not for the sound of approaching footsteps.

Techno bit back a yawn and attempted to blink the exhaustion from his eyes as Phil appeared in the living room, hair in disarray and feathers ruffled from sleep.

The man’s eyes fell on the two of them, and something in his expression melted at the sight. A soft smile gracing his features, “Morning, Tech,” Phil half-whispered, half-cooed.

Techno hummed in response, glancing down when Ranboo didn’t greet Phil.

Oh. And he was asleep.

The rubik’s cube was still held close to his chest, though his grip had loosened. Black and white hair fell like a curtain over Ranboo’s eyes, but Techno could guess by the steady rise and fall of his shoulders that they were closed.

Techno wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about this. He looked to Phil, trying not to move a muscle out of fear of waking the kid who obviously didn’t get enough sleep. “Phil. Phil, what do I do?” He asked in a loud whisper.

Phil shrugged unhelpfully, taking his phone out of his pocket and raising it- no doubt to snap a photo of the pair. “Just let him rest, I’m sure Tommy’ll be down in a few to cause chaos. Might as well wait until then, right?” Phil shot him a grin before heading off into the kitchen.

“Bruh.” Techno shook his head lightly.

Of course Phil would leave him with some kid passed out on his shoulder. 

His ear twitched as he picked up on a faint rumbling coming from the teen beside him.

Purring. The kid was purring on him now.

Techno adamantly denied that his heart was warmed in any sort of way at the realization that Ranboo felt comfortable enough that he had started purring, intentional or not.

He felt his eyelids begin to droop again, head falling back against the couch as he failed to stay awake.

Damn, he really should have gotten himself coffee first.

---

MASSIVE MEN GC

WifeHaver: Tubbo

WifeHaver: Tubso

WifeHaver: Tubster

WifeHaver: TUBBBO

CLINGY: its eaarly 

WifeHaver: youre never ogonna believe it

CLINGY: ?

WifeHaver: <Enclosed is a semi-blurry photo of Ranboo and Techno passed out on a couch. Techno’s head is tilted back and his mouth wide open, presumably snoring. Whereas Ranboo is curled into his side in a way that’s reminiscent of a cat, a solved rubik’s cube discarded on the floor>

CLINGY: YOOOOO

CLINGY: TECHBO SLEEPS??

WifeHaver: if nto for ranboo sprivacy this woulda been such poggers blackmail material

CLINGY: aw hes like a stray cat

CLINGY: careful he mught claw teh shit out of you

WifeHaver: HA PROBABLY

WifeHaver: now i must delete the evidence before boob boy puts an early end to my genius plotting

CLINGY: k

---

Grian: hey raaaanbooooo

Grian: you up yet?

Ranboo: mhm sorta

Grian: oh good!

Grian: wanted to know if you were down to hang out sometime

Ranboo: yeah that sounds like it’d be awesome! Still at my friends place, but soon?

Grian: later this week?

Ranboo: Sure

Grian: lovely!

Grian: i look forward to it :D

Ranboo: :D

“Hey, Ranboob. Whatcha smiling at?” Tommy asked, leaning over the back of the couch to peer at the other teen’s phone.

Ranboo quickly turned off his phone and clutched it to his chest out of habit before realizing who it was.

He clicked his phone back on and murmured an apology. “Uh, you know… Just a work friend.” Considering there was nothing particularly incriminating or personal in their messages, Ranboo didn’t feel too bad about showing Tommy his screen.

Tommy gasped, practically falling over the couch and crashing into the cushions beside Ranboo. The raccoon hybrid had snatched the phone and now had his nose quite nearly pressed up against the screen. 

“You know Grian?” Tommy exclaimed, earning a tired grumble from Techno, who was still, more-or-less, passed out.

Ranboo blinked a few times, half-wanting to sit up and take his phone back, but finding himself unable (or unwilling) to move away from the literal space heater that was Techno’s side. “Yes? We work at the same place- why? Do you know him?” Ranboo shot back, tail flicking lazily.

Tommy looked up at the ceiling, face scrunching up in the way it tended to whenever the younger was thinking about something. “Hmm, yes- no? He’s a bit of a cool dude in school, you catch my drift? A rather poggers fellow- straight up inspiring, yeah?” he explained in his own strange, roundabout way.

The ender hybrid squinted as his tired brain got around to processing the words being said. “So Grian is… Popular?” Ranboo asked slowly.

Tommy nodded, a glint shining in his bright eyes. “You know, since you guys are all buddy-buddy, I think we should add Grian to the-”

“Nope.” Techno reached over to bat Tommy on the head, ruffling his hair in the process.

The blond growled lightly, “Stop being such a stick in the mud, Techno. You didn’t even let me finish speaking- the injustice!” Tommy cried, smacking Techno’s hand away and fixing his hair.

Techno shrugged, “I already knew what you were going to say. Don’t get me wrong, Grian seems like a chill dude, but Ranboo’s the only one out of the group chat who actually knows him,” he said pointedly, opening his eyes to fix Tommy with a deadpan glare.

With a quiet huff, Tommy dropped the phone back into Ranboo’s lap. “Alright, fine, fine. Be that way. I guess I will just have to chat with Gogy instead,” he lamented with another dramatic sigh.

A rumbly chuckle sounded from Techno, “Right, have fun tryin’ to contact him, Tommy,” he taunted playfully.

Tommy scowled and grabbed Ranboo by the arm, “You know what, Techno? I don’t need the Gogs, I’ve got the boob.” Tommy paused, thinking face returning as he contemplated what he had just said.

Ranboo groaned at the same time as Techno muttered a vaguely disappointed “Tommy.”

Tommy burst out laughing, “I- bah-ha! I didn’t mean to say- that came out wrong!” He sputtered in-between sharp bouts of laughter.

Ranboo yelped as he was yanked off the couch by Tommy, his tail lashing in an attempt to balance himself.

“Come along, ignore that- pretend it never happened! There are more important things to worry about in this world- like Philza! Philza is the ideal man, and as such, we must now go harass- no, no- follow him, until he makes us breakfast,” Tommy dictated, swiftly changing the subject into less embarrassing topics.

Ranboo let himself be dragged along into the kitchen to find Phil, a smile on his face despite himself. His eyes caught on the window above the sink, remembering when he’d wandered into the room earlier that morning.

Oh… The rain had stopped.

Chapter Text

Ranboo waved goodbye to Phil and Tommy, bag slung over his shoulder. "Thank you for having me!"

Phil flashed him a thumbs up as he shifted gears and began slowly backing out of the Orphanage’s small parking lot. “Aw, ‘course, mate! It’s always nice to have you over, Ranboo,” he said earnestly.

Tommy was leaning out the car window, “Bye! Try not to get any more burns, eh?” he piped, half-joking, but Ranboo could hear the barest hint of worry lacing his tone.

Ranboo smiled, “I’ll do my best,” he assured them, giving one last wave before turning to the Orphanage.

He listened to the crunching of gravel beneath wheels, waiting for the car to drive away before finally opening the door. Biting the inside of his cheek, he forced his smile to die upon entering the building- he wasn’t about to give the other kids another reason to bother him.

Chatter filled the air, Ranboo felt himself relax.

The only people filling the main room were younger children drawing by the window or playing with toy trains, and a teenager who was too absorbed in their book to pay him any mind.

Miss Puffy was nowhere to be seen, but Ranboo knew she was likely just caught up with paperwork in her office.

He gave one of the more comfortable chairs in the main room a considering look. It was directly in the sunlight, but it was also near the other kids- he really didn’t want to make any of them feel uncomfortable.

But at the same time… It wasn’t often he got to sit in the main room, even rarer that he was able to bask in sunlight, letting the warmth absorb into his black fur.

Mind made up, Ranboo padded over to the chair, glancing around one last time to make sure no one… Unpleasant, was around, before he then promptly flopped into the seat, pulling his legs up and leaning his upper body against the armrest.

He shut his eyes and smiled into the gentle warmth, tail swaying off the edge of the chair.

He was glad he met Tommy. Grateful that when some random raccoon hybrid at the park ran up to him without warning and demanded that Ranboo help him retrieve the ball stuck in the high reaching branches of a tree, that he didn’t shy away from the interaction.

Happy that instead of continuing on with his day, Tommy insisted that they play together. Because, as the other teen had put it on that day, ‘What kind of loser plays ball by themself?’.

Ranboo sighed softly, already wishing he could be back at Tommy’s house for just a little longer.

It’s fine. He’s sure he’d be able to visit them again before long.

---

OPERATION DISCOVERY CHANNEL

Ringleader: I feel like we’ve been slacking on the befriending Ranboo department

Ringleader: thats no good

Spynap: well what do you propose then?

Ringleader: hmmm

Ringleader: idk :(

Ringleader: i just finished the friendship bracelet for Ranboo now i just need to find a way to give it to him

Spynap: you said you were gonna go through tommy right?

Ringleader: yeah…

Ringleader: Hey Quackity

Ringleader: Absolute chad, handsome man.

Ringleader: I have a favour to ask

Duckdealer: …

Ringleader: I’ll pay you

Ducktective: 40 bucks

Ringleader: 15

Ducktective: 30 final

Ringleader: 20

Ducktective: fine

Ducktective: ill get tommy to give it to him after you hand it over

Ringleader: meet up tomorrow after school?

Ducktective: sure

Ringleader: thanks quackity youre the best :D

Spynap: am i handsome too?

Ducktective: ehh

Spynap: karl?

Spynap: karl tell me im pretty

Spynap: KARL

Ringleader: LMAO

Ringleader: of course, very handsome man!

Spynap: yayyy ty

Ringleader: np :]

---

Ranboo’s jaw split into a wide yawn that he hid behind the palm of his hand, scrawling notes onto paper as his teacher droned on about cell structures.

Any minute now, the bell would ring and the class would finally be set free to take their lunch break. Also meaning that Ranboo would soon be allowed to run off and hide away with his phone to lurk in the group chat for an hour, or possibly even do some chatting himself if something interesting came up.

Students were jumping out of their seats several seconds before the shrill ringing of the bell decided to assault their ears. Ranboo was only a few moments behind them, tucking his binder under his arm and merging into the sea of hungry teens.

Ranboo glanced down at his phone as he picked his way over to his locker, opening up the group chat.

INMATES- It’s just school, you muffinheads o-O

THEBLADE’s name has been changed to Technoblade

Technoblade: Technoblade

Ranboo snorted before adjusting his grip on the phone to type out a responding message.

Ranigma: Technoblade

Theseus: TechnoBAD

Theseus’s name has been changed to Child

Child: TECHNO YOU FUCKER

Technoblade: IT WASN’T ME

Child: WHO THE FUCK!!!

Child: DID THIS!!!

Muscle memory had Ranboo opening his combination lock with barely a glance to the numbers as he twisted the knob. 

The locker opened with a rattle and he shoved his binder in before fishing the cling-wrapped sandwich out of his stored bag and slamming the locker securely shut again.

And now it was time to hide in his secret room in the gym for the remainder of lunch!

Dre: what, its true isn’t it?

Dre: youre like

Dre: six

Child: I AM NOT A CHILD

Child’s name has been changed to MASSIVEMAN

MASSIVEMAN: SEE? I AM A BIG MAN WHO OWNS MANY KNIVES AND HAS HAD SEVERAL GRIFLIENDS BITCH!!!

Dre: see, you keep saying that but

MASSIVEMAN: FUCK YOU

MASSIVEMAN: THIS IS SLANDER AND I DON OT APPRECIATE IT

Technoblade: idk man, he’s raising some pretty good points here

MASSIVEMAN: MY OWN BROTHA

MASSIVEMAN: SIDING WITH THE GREEN BASTARD

MASSIVEMAN: HOW COULD YOU

Technoblade: It really wasn’t that hard, you don’t exactly help your own case

The pleasant expression Ranboo had adopted slipped away the moment he stepped into the gym only to be swiftly greeted by a stray volleyball smacking against the wall mere inches away from his face. 

Ranboo shoved his phone into his pocket with a startled yelp that was soon followed by the immeasurable disappointment that came with the realization that his way to his favourite hiding spot was compromised by fifteen-odd teens.

An apology and echoed laughter followed Ranboo as he rushed out the door, not feeling too keen on testing his luck with the older students.

He ran through a quick mental list of his other hiding spots, trying to figure out which one was least likely to have a random straggler hanging around by it.

Art room? No, the door was usually locked during lunch, and the school library didn’t allow food, so… 

Ranboo snapped his fingers, “Ah, of course, of course… Geography,” he mumbled to himself, turning on his heel and starting down the hallway, sticking close to the wall.

How could he forget? The geography teacher, while always remembering to close the door, never cared to lock it. Having the lights off and door shut usually tended to be enough to ward off any curious students anyway.

Only real downside to hiding in the geography classroom was that he one, had to walk past the courtyard, and two, he would have to leave the room at least fifteen minutes early to avoid the teacher.

But it was better than just wandering the hallways and waiting for someone to bump into him and decide that they wanted to waste the rest of their lunch break being rude or just generally unpleasant.

Ranboo sped up his pace as he entered the long hall that passed by the courtyard- only to falter when he saw the group of people approaching from the other end of the hallway.

Dream.  

The smiling mask on the upperclassman’s face was unmistakable, donning a lime green hoodie and surrounded by friends. 

Wheezes of laughter could be heard from him, clutching his side with one hand while he showed something on his phone to the rest of his group- the Dream Team, they were known as. 

And now, sure, they were probably distracted enough that Ranboo would be able to walk straight past them without so much as a glance in his direction.

But this was also Dream. The guy who was renowned within the school, not only for his competitiveness, but also his reportedly unmatched cleverness and wit. The very same who was so obviously favoured by the gym instructor and the school principal alike.

The person who was loved and respected by the entire school- to the point where it wouldn’t be surprising if he were able to get away with murder.

Maybe some of the rumours and stories he’d overheard were exaggerated, but even Ranboo knew there was some level of truth to them- they had to be founded from something after all.

Ranboo reached out blindly for the courtyard door, stumbling out onto the pebbly pathway. He could afford a detour if it meant avoiding what he would consider an imminent threat to his own wellbeing.

His ears flicked back, nerves on fire and half-expecting the door to open up behind him.

A silent sigh of relief escaped him when he made it all the way to the fountain without any sign of the Dream Team deciding to get some fresh air or touch some grass.

That relief was too quickly replaced by a sinking fear and panic as someone bumped into him, knocking Ranboo off balance and careening towards the edge of the fountain.

His attempt to right himself again with the help of his tail was ruined by the person who was still standing there. A single nudge to displace his foot was all it took to send him tumbling into frigid water with a loud splash.

Unrelenting agony like no other flared across his body as he was completely drenched and partially submerged in the fountain.

A pained screech tore its way out of his throat, though Ranboo couldn’t even begin to hear it over the pounding in his head. 

He flailed and thrashed to no avail against what might as well have been acid burning away at his skin.

Something in his chest pulled and then- a hand locked around his wrist- his insides twisted, and everything went black.

Chapter Text

Dream wheezed, cackling at Tommy’s overly aggressive messages. “Look at- look at what he said!” He cackled breathlessly, shoving his phone towards Sapnap and George.

Right as he started typing out another message in response to Tommy, an ear-piercing shriek cut through the air.

Instinctive fear stabbed in his chest and knocked the breath momentarily from his lungs, almost dropping his phone.

He ignored his friends’ confused shouts, even if he felt very much the same.

Because for all that scream made Dream want to run in the other direction and never turn back, the amount of pain lacing that horrible sound had him bursting through the courtyard door and looking around wildly for the cause.

His eyes fell on some hybrid- maybe some kind of weasel or stoat- staring dumbly at the fountain, hands clamped tightly over his ears.

Inside the fountain, the source of the screeching was thrashing in the water. Bright purple particles amassing and swirling around whoever it was, giving away exactly what kind of hybrid they were.

“Don’t just stand there!” Dream scolded the stoat kid, dashing towards the fountain and reaching out for the ender hybrid.

He hissed a curse as a tail smacked him across the face, but remained undeterred, sticking his hand into the water and grabbing hold of a wrist.

At the same time as he grabbed the other teen, everything seemed to warp and sway around him.

Dream’s insides twisted so fiercely he was almost sure it would make him vomit, only for the undesirable feeling to fade within seconds, leaving him with a lingering headache he was pretty sure was mostly thanks to the previous noise, which had finally died down.

Blinking away dizziness and confusion, Dream looked down at the unconscious hybrid whose wrist he was still holding in a death grip.

He grimaced at the sight of fresh burns sprawling over the kid’s skin and short fur. This wasn’t looking too good.

Without a moment of debate, he pulled off his sweater and started patting the kid dry. A quiet apology being murmured when he had to pry away the soaking wet shirt that stuck to the hybrid and served to worsen the burns.

He was sure it was a forgivable act considering Dream didn’t know if water burns could kill endermen hybrids or not.

But hey, the kid was still breathing, shallow as it was, so with any luck, things would turn out fine.

Well, except for one small detail- Dream looked around, adjusting the strap holding his mask in place- where were they?

It was just a small room, a single desk covered in pencil-marks tucked neatly into one corner and a battered old blanket tossed haphazardly onto a rickety piano bench. 

None of it was recognizable to Dream- which was surprising considering he made a habit of wandering around and sneaking into rooms he probably wasn’t allowed to be in. The only thing stopping him from assuming they weren’t even in the school building anymore was the fact that he could faintly make out the sounds of laughter and shoes squeaking against waxy floors if he strained his ears hard enough.

Dream got to his feet and stretched out his limbs with a heavy sigh, waterlogged shirt in one hand.

With one last glance to the teen who was now dried off, but still laying scarily still on the floor, Dream dropped the shirt onto the desk and plucked the blanket off of the bench.

There was a worrying lack of a visible door in the room, also meaning Dream couldn’t get the kid any kind of medical attention until he woke up and told him how to get out (and god was he hoping this kid actually knew how to get out of the room).

Dream knelt by the hybrid’s side again and carefully lifted his upper body, doing his best not to further agitate the burns, and sliding the blanket down underneath him. Admittedly, he wasn’t sure how much good it would do, but with any luck, the blanket would be less likely to result in infection than the dusty floors were.

Pursing his lips and drumming his fingers against his thigh, Dream pulled his phone out of his pocket. George and Sapnap had already started panicking to the group chat by now, best to put an end to that sooner rather than later.

INMATES- It’s just school, you muffinheads o-O

Pandas: GUYS DREAM JUST FUCKING DIED

MASSIVEMAN: fuckn finally 

Pandas: IM SERIOUS DUDE

Pandas: HE JUST VANISHED INTO THIN AIR

MASSIVEMAN: wait really

Wilby: what do you mean he vanished??

MASSIVEMAN: no fuckery?

George: yeah we heard this liek ,really loud shrieking from the courtyard and dream ran in before we coulf stop him

George: he was already gone by the time w got there

MASSIVEMAN: what the fuck

Wilby: did you guys alert the teachers yet?

Pandas: yeha

George: yeah

Wilby: dont panic, im sure hes fine

Pandas: my best friend just disappeared

Pandas: what the hell do you mean dont panic

Dre: hey guys

Pandas: DREAM

George: YOURE ALIVE

MASSIVEMAN: u okay?

Dre: of course i’m alive. Not a scratch.

Wilby: good to hear it

Dre: its not me im worried about though

George: oh did you find who was screaming?

Dre: yeah it was an enderman hybrid

Wilby: what

Dre: he fell into the fountain and teleported us to a random room when i grabbed him

MASSIVEMAN: what does he look like

Dre: why?

MASSIVEMAN: answer the question dickhead

MASSIVEMAN: is he split black and white or not

Dream blinked in surprise, gaze flitting over to the unconscious teen.

The kid’s hair was all over the place, black and white strands overlapping each other after the rushed attempt at drying it with his sweater. His face, black white fur split much more evenly down the middle, was agitated from the burns sprawling up from his neck, the speckled splashing pattern was almost morbidly beautiful.

Suppressing a sigh, Dream reached his hand under his mask to rub his face.

This whole situation was a fucking mess.

Dre: yeah do you know him

MASSIVEMAN: fuck

MASSIVEMAN: he told me he wasnt going to get anymor burns

Wilby: in any other scenario i wouldnt have said anything

Wilby: but i feel like its already too late for that

Pandas: who is it

Wilby: Ranboo

A jolt ran through Dream at the new information, eyes widening.

This is Ranboo?

He didn’t know what he had been expecting Ranboo to look like- there was never much information to go off of- but he…

Well, he honestly didn’t know. It was a little hard to form a coherent thought or opinion at the moment. His mind was swamped with a lovely little blend of confusion and concern.

How did all of this even happen?

One minute he was laughing about Tommy’s overdramatic all-caps yelling at him and Techno through text, then the next he was locked in a mystery room with a badly injured teen who was apparently the incredibly secretive Ranboo.

Gnawing absently on the inside of his cheek, Dream looked back at his phone.

Honkmeister: wait i just got here wdym ranboos hurt

TheMuffiner: Oh no! How bad is it D:

Dre: well its not good thats for sure

Dre: hes got burns all over his upper body and face 

Dre: the burns on the right half of him are worse though, i think he fell in on that side

Wilby: how did he even end up in a fountain in the first place

Dre: not sure looked like he might have tripped and fallen in or something

Technoblade: No he didn’t

Dre: what?

Wilby: agreed, Ranboos too careful around water to accidentally fall in like that which means…

Technoblade: someone tripped him

Wilby: or pushed him

Wilby: but yeah

MASSIVEMAN: i swear im gonna fucking stab someone

TheMuffiner: Dream do you think you could bring him to the nurses office?

Honkmeister: which room are you in? I could come help

Dre: slight problem with that

Dre: cant find a door

Wilby: shit. alright

Wilby: alright yeah just

Wilby: fuck i dont

Wilby: i dont know

MASSIVEMAN: are you sure theres not a door? Are you at leastt in the school still??

Dre: no theres no door almost certain we’re still in the school building though

Dre: hold on, ill look arounf again

Dream slipped his phone back into the pocket of his jeans as he stood, brushing himself off briefly.

“Come on, there has to be a way out of here,” He mumbled.

No way in hell the architects and construction workers who made this school failed to put a functioning door in one of the rooms. He felt like one would have to be a pretty special brand of stupid to miss something like that- and that wasn’t even acknowledging the fact that a desk and blanket had somehow gotten in.

So he set his jaw and got to searching, closely inspecting the walls for any discrepancies-

“Mrrgh…” A low groan sounded behind him, sending Dream whirling around in muted surprise.

He honestly wasn’t expecting Ranboo to be waking up anytime soon.

Pushing aside the task of finding an exit, Dream dropped into a crouch at Ranboo’s side. “Hey, how’re you feeling?” Dumb question, he knows, but what else is he going to ask?

Ranboo’s eyes slowly fluttered open, face twisted into a pained grimace. “I…” 

Red and green eyes finally found focus on Dream, and Ranboo’s expression went blank. His ears pointed straight up and limbs stiff, “What are- how- I… how are you here?” Ranboo asked hoarsely, slowly shuffling himself backwards and visibly wincing the entire time.

Dream shook his head lightly, “Stop moving, you’re making things worse,” he reprimanded.

But apparently that wasn’t what he was supposed to say though, because all it did was make fear spread across Ranboo’s face faster than a wildfire. The hybrid flinching away and only trying harder to put distance between the two of them.

Dream raised his hands placatingly and moved back, “Hey, hey, hey, calm down, I’m not going to hurt you.” he kept his voice carefully level and quiet as he spoke.

It didn’t seem to do much to alleviate the fear, though Ranboo did stop trying to move away. Instead, he chose to narrow his eyes distrustfully at the masked teen, tail flicking anxiously at his side and claws twisting into the blanket.

He seemed almost comparable to a cornered animal, watching every movement with sharp eyes and a hint of bared teeth. Dream instantly felt guilty about the comparison, frowning and just barely stopping himself from clenching his fists.

“Look, you’re safe, see? ‘M not gonna hurt you, just want to make sure you’re okay,” Dream soothed.

Ranboo’s ears flicked back, “What do you want from me?” He demanded shakily, hands trembling and voice still sounding wrecked.

Why was Ranboo so scared of him? Did he think Dream was the one to push him into the fountain? No, surely that couldn’t be the case, right?

“I don’t want anything from you. Like I said, I’m just trying to help,” Dream assured the younger teen.

His words were met with a distrustful glare, “Yeah, sure, you keep saying that- but I can’t really say I believe you all that much. You- You’re Dream. You don’t even know me! Why the heck would you want to help me,” Ranboo scoffed.

Oh yeah, Dream was definitely starting to catch some of Tommy’s influence in that response.

Dream subconsciously brushed his hand against the pocket concealing his phone, “I mean, I do know you- but even if I didn’t, It’s not like I’m going to leave someone who looks like they'll keel over and die at any second," he pointed out flatly.

Ranboo stiffened, inhaling sharply, "Wha- what do you mean, you know me?"  

Dream pulled the phone from his pocket and held it up for Ranboo to see, "We're in the same group chat, you know, with Tommy, Wilbur, Techno, Karl- all of them, we've even talked! Look-" he unlocked his phone and opened up the chat, showing the screen, "See?"

Unfortunately, his words, once again, didn't seem to have the desired effect. Instead of relaxing, maybe going 'oh that's right, we do know each other!', Ranboo's breath hitched, eyes widening.

"What? No- no, no, no, that's not- there's no way…" Soft purple particles gathered around the injured teen, breathing becoming more uneven with every passing moment.

Dream bit his tongue to prevent a curse from slipping out. This wasn't good, who's to say where Ranboo might end up if he teleports again.

He hastily scrolled through his contacts and clicked on the first name under T.

The phone rang for less than a second before the call was picked up, being swiftly put onto speaker.

“Dream?" Techno's voice came through the phone.

Ranboo didn't react to the sound, still shivering as distressed warbles and chirps spilled out of him.

Dream forced himself to tear his gaze away, "Techno, Ranboo’s awake, but I think he's scared of me and everything I try is just making things worse- do you think you could calm him down before he hurts himself?" He asked, not even bothering to hide the urgency in his tone.

"Wil would have been better at this," Techno grumbled.

Dream slid the phone across the floor towards Ranboo, whose tail twitched away from the object.

Techno’s voice came through the phone a second later, “Hey Ranboo, It’s just me, Techno, okay? Can you hear me?”

A shuddery inhale, and then- “Yeah. Yeah, uh, I can- um, I can hear you,” Ranboo mumbled, ducking his head and causing particles to flutter around him.

“Okay, great. Now do you think you could tell me five things you can touch?”

Ranboo’s hand drifted across anything and everything in his reach, wincing every now and then as different things touched his water-burned hand. “ Mm… Blanket, floor… Tail?”

“Doing good, kid.”

The hybrid’s ears perked slightly at the praise, “My pants? And- um, Dream's-" Ranboo cleared his throat, "Phone," he finished quietly.

"Great, now, three things you can see?"

Dream watched on in quiet fascination as the particles that had been gathering like a vortex around the teen slowly faded. Clarity returned to Ranboo's eyes bit by bit as he listed things off to Techno.

He made a mental note to do some research on panic attacks later, it would be good knowledge to have.

"Now, do you know where you are?”

The question pulled Dream from his thoughts, a flicker of hope sparking in his chest. The sooner they could get out of here, the better. Every second spent sitting in a dusty room was another second leaving easily infected burns unattended- and an infection of that size wouldn’t be pretty, that’s for sure.

Ranboo swallowed and nodded his head, “Mhm, we’re in my little hiding spot- but I don’t… I don’t know how I got here- or how Dream got here,” he whispered, tail curling around his legs.

Tension returned to the hybrid’s shoulders, glancing warily over at Dream.

“It’s fine, you teleported there. Dream got dragged along when he tried to pull you out of the fountain-”

Ranboo jolted, gaze snapping to Dream and swirling with shock, “He- you tried to pull me out?” He puzzled, sounding at a loss.

Unsure of what to say, and not wanting to send the other teen spiraling again, Dream nodded wordlessly. Offering a small smile despite knowing it wouldn’t be seen thanks to his mask.

“Oh,” Ranboo mumbled, tilting his head and looking down with furrowed brows.

Techno spoke up from the phone again, “Uhh, right, so I’m assumin’ you know the way out of that room?” He guessed.

Ranboo hummed, “Yeah, I-” he tried to push himself to his feet, only to crumple with a hiss as it twisted his burns.

“What happened, are you okay?”

There was no response for a few seconds as Ranboo squeezed his eyes shut and breathed in deeply through his nose. “Yeah- yeah, no, I’m fine. All good here, just covered in burns and realizing how hard school and work are gonna be for a while,” he assured with a self-deprecating chuckle.

Dream raised a brow, “You are not going back to school or work until that’s healed- no way. Are you kidding me?” He asked incredulously- no fucking way Ranboo was actually intending to do that.

“Yeah, gonna have to agree with Dream on this one. I can get Phil to talk with Puffy, I’m sure she’ll want you to take it easy for a little while.” Techno added.

Ranboo actually said nothing that time, lips pressed into a thin line.

“Alright, so, I’m gonna hang up now, you better go get those burns taken care of-”

Dream snorted as Techno hung up abruptly, cutting off his final words.

Neither of them moved for a while, Dream watching carefully while Ranboo gazed blankly at the phone.

Eventually, Ranboo blinked the slight daze from his eyes, hesitantly lifting them to look over at Dream. His posture was still stiff and uncertain, but he wasn’t hyperventilating anymore.

Dream gave a small wave, “Hi,” he greeted softly, the last thing he wanted was to cause the boy another spook.

He saw Ranboo’s arm move as if to wave back, but gave up halfway with a wince, “Hey.”

Dream glanced over to where his hoodie was draped over the piano bench. It hadn’t gotten too damp after drying off Ranboo, but he still laid it out just in case.

The shirt Ranboo had been wearing previously, on the other hand, was still drenched, water dripping down the leg of the table as a result.

“We should probably get out of here now, you’ll get an infection if we don’t get that taken care of soon,” Dream advised, getting to his feet and nabbing his sweater off the nearby stool.

He offered the sweater out to Ranboo, “Here, your shirt’s still soaked through, and I highly doubt you want to walk around the school shirtless,” his tone was kept airy and lighthearted, shooting a charming smile that would remain unseen.

Ranboo nodded in silent agreement, accepting the offered hoodie with a respectful nod of his head and handing over Dream’s phone in exchange.

Dream forced himself to look away from the other teen, busying himself with checking up on the group chat. He feared that if he watched Ranboo struggling to put the sweater on he’d cross a couple of boundaries in an attempt to help.

It hurt to see someone he considered a friend in pain- but it was even worse to see that same person terrified of him, so he chose what he considered to be the lesser of two evils and turned on his phone.

INMATES- it’s just school, you muffinheads o-O

Technoblade: tommy chill

Technoblade: dream wont let him leave without getting those burns checked out

MASSIVEMAN: he fucking better or else i swear ill tear that bastard a new onw

Dre: dw Im bringing him to the nurses office in just a sec

MASSIVEMAN: good

Honkmeister: do you guys need any help?

TheMuffiner: yeah just say the word and we’ll be there

Dre: thanks i think we’re good tho

Dre: hes already having a hard time with just me, dont watn to overwhelm him

Honkmeister: k

“Um.”

Dream turned his attention back to Ranboo, who was now standing up in front of him.

Luckily, all of Ranboo’s height seemed to be in his legs as opposed to his torso, so the hoodie actually fit properly without hugging his burned arms and sides too closely. 

Dream ran a hand through his hair, “Right. Can you show me where the door is then? Because I have no idea,” his words were accented by a slight chuckle.

“Yeah, it’s right…” Ranboo stumbled over to one of the walls, wearing a pinched expression the whole time, “Here.” His fingers brushed over the wall.

Dream squinted stepping closer to inspect.

It was ridiculously hard to make out- the entire thing painted over so densely and the fit so tight that it was honestly a wonder it could even open- but it was there. A door that he had completely skimmed over in his admittedly rather panicked haze.

“Well, let’s get out of here then.” Dream went to pry the door open, only for Ranboo’s hand to shoot out and grab his wrist with an almost painful strength.

It didn’t last for more than half a second before Ranboo quickly recoiled, as if suddenly remembering himself. “Sorry, I just- there are people out there, and I can’t- if they- they find out where this is and then I’ll never get a break and-” Ranboo snapped his mouth shut suddenly, ears flat and fingers flexing open and closed in a repetitive motion.

Dream frowned, tilting his head and listening to the faint, but still present, sound of students playing on the other side of the door. “Well, we can’t just stay here,” you could pass out at any second, “We need to get you to the nurse as soon as possible,” he settled on saying.

Ranboo bit his lip apprehensively, the snappish flicking of his tail a clear demonstration of high-strung nerves.

His shoulders sagged and a low, nearly inaudible, warble reached Dream’s ears. “Fine. Let’s just-” Ranboo took a stabilizing breath in, “Let’s just get this over with.”

Dream nodded curtly, using his shoulder to push the door open with force.

Hockey nets and stray balls clattered together as they were moved from their earlier resting place.

He kept his head up as he led Ranboo out of the room, trying to project as much cold confidence as possible. The last thing they needed was to be approached by some curious teenager.

The sound generated from opening the door drew no attention from the distracted students, all much too absorbed in their game of volleyball to care about the sound of yet another ball rolling and hitting the ground.

Ranboo, despite his earlier fear of Dream, stuck right by his side. His jaw clenched and ears flicking around, with barely noticeable flinches every time a ball smacked against a hard surface or whenever someone shouted to call a hit.

Dream made sure to keep himself placed firmly in between Ranboo and the volleyball kids, it wasn’t much, but it was the most comfort he could provide at the moment.

They got out of the gym without issue, letting the door shut loudly behind them.

The masked teen glanced over at Ranboo every few seconds, monitoring for the slightest of hints that the younger might fall over or pass out again.

“Come on, just a little further,” Dream encouraged passively, one hand hovering behind Ranboo as they walked- just as a precaution, one could never be too careful.

Ranboo hummed in terse agreement, expression still pinched with blatant pain and occasional winces slipping through.

When they finally got to the nurse’s office, Dream couldn’t be bothered to knock, throwing the door open and gesturing for Ranboo to walk in first.

“Excuse me, we need a hand over here!” Dream called, already herding Ranboo over to the bed and getting him to sit down.

Shoes clacked on waxy floors as the nurse stepped out from where she had previously been sorting through cabinets. “Right, what happened? Take another ball to the head or…” She trailed off when she spotted Ranboo, sitting stiffly on the side of the bed.

“Oh? Haven’t seen you in a while,” the school nurse mused, twirling a pen and pointing in Ranboo’s general direction.

The hybrid shifted uncomfortably, “Sorry,” he apologized with a nervous laugh.

She shrugged her shoulders and tucked her pen into a pocket, “No matter, just show me the injury and I can send you on your way,” she sighed.

With a quick nod, Ranboo cautiously lifted the hoodie over his head, choking on a pained gasp when some of the fabric caught on his burns.

The woman’s grimace was quickly smoothed over, “Okay, this is fine, we’ve still got a few packs of that burn cream stocked up for you- Dream, you can get back to lunch now.”

Dream shook his head in refusal without a second of thought or hesitation. “Nah, I’m good here, thanks,” he decided, leaning against the wall to keep a casual eye on things.

He wasn’t one to half-ass things, and that included keeping his friends safe.

The nurse raised her brows, “Alright, get comfortable then, because this’ll take a while to wrap up,” she informed before heading back towards the cabinets and rifling through their contents.

Dream nodded, pulling out his phone to send a quick update to the group chat before turning it off again.

“So-” The woman came back holding a sterile rag and container of water, “How’d you get this one?” She questioned, setting the container down on a small side table.

Dream stiffened, “Why do you have water?” he demanded, standing up straight and glaring.

The nurse barely glanced at him as she dunked the rag into the water and wrung most of the moisture out, “It sucks, but it’s necessary. If they aren’t cleaned properly, he’ll just end up with a nasty infection- and with a burn that big- an infection of that size would cause more than a couple of problems,” she pointed out as she began to gently dab at the burns.

Dream bit back the flicker of agitation, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall again with a grumbled, "Fine."

The nurse worked in silence for a few minutes, dutifully wiping dirt and bits of fuzz that had gotten stuck on Ranboo’s skin. The teen’s claws were digging into the bed and his tail was wound tightly around one of his legs as he grit his teeth through the pain.

“So, answers. Mind giving me any?” The woman asked again as she rinsed off and wrung the cloth out again.

After Ranboo didn’t respond, Dream spoke up for him. “Yeah, someone shoved him into a fountain,” he scowled.

The woman’s brows shot up, glancing between Ranboo and Dream with nigh concealed alarm. “Someone pushed him? Did you see you did it?” 

“Well, no, but-” his mind flashed back to the stoat hybrid who had been standing there, in perfect position to have tripped Ranboo.

Before he could add his new recollection, the nurse spoke up.

“How can you be sure someone pushed him then? Are you sure he didn’t just fall? He has a bit of a history for clumsiness, it wouldn’t be the first time he’s shown up to my office after taking a bit of a tumble, you know?” She pointed out with a dismissive wave of his hand.

Dream felt his blood boil, stepping away from the wall again and balling his fists at his sides. “It wasn’t clumsiness! And I’m willing to bet that all those other times he showed up here weren’t just because he fucking tripped. I’m telling you that stoat-”

“Dream,” Ranboo’s quiet yet firm tone cut his seething short.

The black and white teen was practically folding in on himself, giving off the impression that, if not for the burns, he would have been curled up in a ball by that point. “Just leave it be. I tripped on a rock and fell, nothing else,” he claimed.

The nurse nodded, “Thank you for telling me the truth. Now could you straighten up? We’ve got to put the burn cream on.”

Righteous anger still burned beneath Dream’s skin, but he kept his mouth shut. It was obvious the nurse wouldn’t have believed any other answer without solid evidence or proof.

As much as it pissed him off, there was nothing he could do about that. Yet.

Dream was going to be doing a lot of talking in the next couple of days. That brat wasn’t getting away with this kind of bullshit that easily.

---

Wilbur: Phil talked to Puffy. She’s already busy with taking a couple of kids to the dentist, but she said it was okay if we picked him up until she gets back.

Dream: Perfect

Dream: we’re almost done here, what’s the eta?

Wilbur: one sec

Wilbur: Phil can get there in about fifteen

Dream: thanks

WIlbur: np

Wilbur: one question though

Dream: ?

WIlbur: did you find the cunt who hurt him?

Dream: I have an idea of who it might be, but i cant do anything about it yet

Wilbur: well, make sure to give them hell for pulling this shit

Dream: sir yes sir

---

Ranboo sat perfectly still on the bench while they waited for Phil to show up.

His mind was swirling with dozens of questions for the masked teen beside him, though he elected not to ask any of them out loud.

Even though it had taken a solid thirty minutes to get his burns properly wrapped up, it still felt like things were moving too quickly. Nothing felt like it was making any sense.

How did this even happen? How did he end up with Dream, of all people, waiting with him by the door after the bell signifying the end of lunch had already rung twice in warning,

Guilt churned in his stomach, there was no way Dream had enough time to eat anything after wasting all of that time trying to get Ranboo to calm down and head to the nurse’s office.

And then he even figured out that Dream and Dre were the same person. That every time he had sassed or made fun of Dre, he was speaking to Dream. And yeah, it was all lighthearted banter- but that was before he knew it was someone who could probably snap him in half if he wanted to!

“Ranboo, breathe.”

His head shot up, blinking at Dream, who’s smiley mask was tilted towards him.

He then realized that he was, in fact, holding his breath.

Ranboo sucked in a deep breath, feeling his chest loosen as he did so. “Whoops, my bad,” he mumbled.

“Eh, it’s fine. This is a stressful situation to be in, I’m sure,” Dream mused with a hum.

Why are you helping me? What do you want? Ranboo wanted to yell the questions, yearned to rid himself of the fear that came with not knowing.

But he also knew he wouldn’t be able to defend himself if Dream decided it wasn’t worth whatever plans he had for Ranboo. Not in this state at least.

The sound of a car door slamming shut had Ranboo’s ears shooting straight up, eyes snapping over to the glassy front doors.

A few seconds later, Phil came into sight, pace quick and feathers ruffled.

The man burst through the door, hurrying over to where Ranboo was sitting the moment he laid eyes on the teen. “Heya, mate. You doing okay?” Phil asked as he reached out and brushed hair from Ranboo’s eyes, grazing his thumb gently over the teen’s forehead.

Ranboo had to stop himself from leaning forward into the contact, “Mhm, define okay,” he said with a hint of bitter amusement.

Phil chuckled, ruffling his hair once before pulling his hand away. “Alright, fair enough. You got all your things ready to go? I’ll go sign you out with the principal and then we’ll head home.”

Giving the backpack beside the bench a small pat, Ranboo nodded.

He stared after Phil as the man disappeared into the principal’s office, fiddling nervously with the drawstrings of the hoodie Dream hadn’t let him return yet.

Just a few more minutes and then he’d be in the safety of Phil’s car and he could-

Oh god, Dream was in the group chat. Even worse than that- Dream knew where his hiding spot was now.

And if Dream knew where his hiding spot was, what’s stopping him from telling his friends where his hiding spot is? And then they’ll tell their friends where his hiding spot is- and then the whole school will know where it is!

Ranboo shut his eyes. He had to calm down. He was catastrophizing again- he knew he was catastrophizing again. It wasn’t that bad, he could deal with things as they happened.

Despite his attempts to fight off the impending panic, the only thing that truly pulled him out of it was the return of Phil.

“C’mon then, mate. Let’s get out of here.”

Ranboo opened his eyes to see Phil offering a reassuring smile, hand out to Ranboo.

Ranboo took the hand, letting it pull him up with a glance back at Dream.

The masked teen stood up at the same time as him, taking a moment to stretch his arms. “Alright, well, I’ll be seeing you around then. Take care,” Dream said with a brief two-finger salute.

Phil nodded, “You too, mate. Thanks for keeping an eye on Ranboo.”

“Not a problem.”

The exchange was left at that as Ranboo and Phil finally exited the school building.

Ranboo breathed a soft sigh of relief when the car started up, engine rumbling quietly as they drove away.

Fresh air poured in through the partially opened windows. 

He leaned cautiously back against his seat, doing the best he could not to agitate his bandaged burns. Muted greys and stray splashes of colour blurred past, Ranboo let his eyes flutter shut.

Chapter Text

Tommy squeezed past Wilbur, jumping out the bus door as soon as it was opened, much to the chagrin of their bus driver, if the scolding shout was anything to go off of.

The raccoon hybrid paid no mind to that, or even to Wilbur calling after him to, “Slow down, for fuck’s sake, Tommy!”

Tommy threw the front door open, kicking his shoes off and darting into the living room. “Ranboo!”

He was immediately shushed by Phil, who was sitting on the solo couch, “Tommy. Use your eyes, mate,” the man sighed tiredly.

Tommy blinked, zeroing in on the familiar lanky form passed out on the big couch. 

There, buried in a bright green hoodie with carefully wrapped bandages creeping up his throat, was Ranboo. Eyes closed and head tilted towards the television that continued to play a random nature documentary about wildlife in the desert.

Footsteps tromped into the house behind Tommy, carelessly throwing the door closed as his older brothers got inside.

Tommy ignored them, keeping his attention on his sleeping friend, “I swear, I am going to fuckin’ kill the bastard who did this,” he growled, clenching his fists.

Phil chuckled mirthlessly, “Oh, I definitely feel you on that one, mate. Would love nothing more than to get that little shit expelled.”

Irritation and hatred burned in Tommy’s chest, tail lashing. He wanted to do more than to just expel that asshole, he wanted to give whoever it was the same treatment he gave to the guy who tripped Tubbo. Only this time he wouldn’t be using one math book, he’d be using two… And maybe his own claws as well.

A hand clasped his shoulder firmly, snapping the teen out of his violent daydreams. He glanced over at Wilbur, whose expression was deceptively calm and controlled.

Tommy knew better though- he knew Wilbur better than to miss the swirling storm trapped behind normally warm brown eyes. The detached look he wore was not born out of a lack of caring, merely a dangerous ability to keep things contained until the right moment.

“I get that you’re angry Tommy, believe me, I am absolutely livid right now.” A sliver of anger snuck into Wilbur’s tone, before it was swiftly smothered by a false sense of calm again.

“But I also happen to know that detective Dream is on the case,” Wilbur announced, the smallest hint of a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth as he said so.

Tommy’s ears flicked forward attentively, “Yeah?” he urged the other to continue.

Wilbur gave Tommy’s shoulder a quick squeeze. “Yeah. Because our buddy Dream may have told me that he saw the guy who did it. Maybe didn’t catch him in the act- but it was close enough. And besides-” Wilbur’s smirk grew into something much more vindictive and sharp- something one would expect to see from the likes of a wolf hybrid, not an ordinary human, “That particular brand of asshole isn’t too hard to pick out of a crowd anyway.”

Techno walked into view, wearing a mask of indifference on his face as he inspected his nails nonchalantly. “Plus, I mean, I guess I wouldn’t mind trackin’ ‘em down myself if Dream somehow failed to. You know, because Ranboo’s your friend, and he’s- well, he’s at least decent,” he drawled.

Shrugging Wilbur’s hand off his shoulder, Tommy cracked his knuckles with a toothy grin. “Ey, that rat-bastard won’t stand a chance.”

He saw Techno give a small nod before dropping his hand to his side and bringing his gaze back up to Phil.

“How long does Ranboo get to stay here for? I’m assumin’ they’re not gonna let us just keep him, y’know? Not on such short notice at least,” Techno pointed out.

Tommy felt the fur on his tail bristle, smile dropping again. Disappointment trickled through him, “Oh, you can’t be serious,” he grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.

Judging by the heavy sigh that came from Phil, they were entirely serious.

“Sorry, mate. We’ve only got him for another half-hour at most. One of the Orphanage people’ll be here to pick him up ‘round then,” Phil informed regretfully.

Tommy didn’t even try to hide his disappointment, slouching as a deep frown settled on his expression. “Oh.”

Phil seemed to agree with the sentiment, nodding his head somewhat distractedly as he watched Ranboo with open concern. “Yeah… But that doesn’t mean he can’t come visit again whenever the Orphanage allows it,” he pointed out with a hint of optimism.

Without another word, Tommy spun around and disappeared up the stairs, feet pounding on hardwood as he hurried to his room.

He was pretty sure Wilbur called after him, but the raccoon hybrid ignored it in favour of his new self-given quest.

Tommy’s eyes scanned through the various shelved and stacked trinkets he’d… Acquired by one hundred percent legal means over the past years and definitely not by stealing from his friends and occasional enemies.

An irritated growl bubbled in the back of his throat when he didn’t spot what he was looking for immediately.

He resolved to kneeling beside a cluttered basket of what most people would view as junk, but Tommy saw as his most valuable possessions.

Metal clinked together as he ran his fingers through the basket, turning things over and nudging them around in his search. His tail twitched absently behind him, a small frown on his face.

The pads of his fingers finally landed on familiar ridges, instantly locking around the object and plucking it out of the basket.

A red and silvery bottle cap glittered in his hands. It had been a gift from Phil a few months after the man had first taken him in, and the tiny object had very quickly been dubbed Tommy’s ‘lucky bottle cap’.

Phil honestly probably didn’t even realize just how often Tommy carried the thing around with him. Taking it with him on math tests and rubbing his thumb over the crimped ridges when he was stressed about something.

Twirling the cap between his fingers out of habit, Tommy hopped back to his feet and sped down the stairs again.

Ranboo was awake when Tommy showed up in the living room. His eyes were cast downward, tail curled delicately beside him.

Tommy pushed past Wilbur, who had been standing directly in the way like a fucking twat.

"Ayup, Ranboo. Looking a little different, did you get a haircut?" Tommy joked, sitting down on the coffee table opposite of the other injured teen.

The ender hybrid’s eyes flicked up, looking entirely unimpressed. “Ha, yeah, totally,” he rasped, voice sounding considerably worse for wear.

Tommy didn't allow himself to dwell on the reason for the rough state of his friend's throat. He was sure he would have all the time in the world to shout curses into the sun afterwards.

Instead, Tommy reached out to drop his prized possession into Ranboo’s bandaged hands.

Ranboo shot him a puzzled expression, looking between Tommy and the bottle cap. "Um, what-" he cleared his throat with a wince, "What's this for?"

Tommy glanced away for a half-second, chewing on his lower lip. “Lucky bottle cap, because you keep getting hurt,” he explained in turn, bringing his gaze back.

The shock was evident on Ranboo’s face, blinking a few times. "Are… Are you sure?" He asked quietly.

"Fuckin' course I'm sure, bad fo' the biz if you're getting hurt on the daily, innit?" Tommy scoffed.

Silence and a perplexed face from Ranboo, "Biz? What business are you talking about?" He puzzled.

“The business of friendship, Ranboo. How am I supposed to get people to do my work for me if all of my friends are hurt, hmm?" Tommy pointed out loftily.

Ranboo snorted softly, fingers twitching to close carefully around the gift. "Not sure how effective it'll be at curing my bad luck and clumsiness," he admitted.

Tommy raised his brows and crossed his arms, "Are you doubting the power of a gift from big man Philza himself? Also, you are not 'clumsy'," He retorted.

He heard Ranboo swallow thickly, “No, I just- are you sure you want to give this to me? I honestly just don’t really have the best track record for losing items. I’d feel terrible if I misplaced something like this.” Ranboo rephrased carefully, ears swiveling out to the sides.

The tiny movement made Tommy pause, recognizing the hints of discomfort and unease in the other’s posture. He looked over to Wilbur- for what reason, he wasn’t quite sure, but it seemed to work in his favour regardless.

Wilbur was spurred into action, ambling over with his hands in his pockets. “Even if you did manage to lose it, trust me when I say Tommy’ll sniff the fucker out like a bloodhound. Couldn’t hide it from him if you tried,” he promised, putting a hand over his heart to accentuate.

Ranboo still looked uncertain, turning the bottle cap in his fingers indecisively. “I don’t know…”

Tommy puffed up his cheeks, “Ugh, just fuckin’ take it, man. Just until you’re all better, yeah?” he pushed.

There were a few more seconds of hesitant silence, before Ranboo sighed, wincing silently as he did so. “Alright, if you’re sure,” he finally relented, letting his head fall back into the couch cushions.

A clap drew everyone’s attention over to Phil, who had just gotten up from his seat, a gentle smile on his face. “Glad to see that’s settled, now why don’t I get you kids something to eat. Ranboo, I know you aren’t here for very long, but I think we can probably whip something up real quick,” he suggested before disappearing into the kitchen.

Techno followed almost immediately afterward, “Helping,” was all he said as he ducked into the kitchen after Phil.

Tommy groaned, leaning back and shouting after him, “I swear to god, Techno, if you make fucking potatoes I am going to stab you!”

“I know how to make more than just potatoes, Tommy!” Came Techno’s swift reply.

Tommy wrinkled his nose apprehensively, but didn’t say anything else on the topic. Instead he turned his attention to the TV, only for his expression to immediately twist into one of disgust.

“Oh my god- that is horrid! What the fuck- why are they all- ugh!” Tommy cried upon seeing the tiny disfigured rodent bodies impaled on various thorns and spiky branches.

He heard Wilbur laughing beside him as Tommy scrambled to find the remote.

Tommy ignored him, snatching the remote off of the single couch and quickly backing out of the documentary. “It’s not funny, prick! Oh, those poor bastards- Wil, how could you laugh at their pain, you monster!” He complained, shoving his older brother in the arm for good measure.

Complying with Tommy’s valiant efforts, Wilbur coughed into his hand to stop the laughter. “They’re butcher birds, Tommy, that’s just what they do,” he explained.

Turning his head away from Wilbur, as if he had been the one to kill those poor animals, Tommy scrolled through Netflix to find something better to watch.

“My god- are you really giving me the silent treatment right now? Seriously, Tommy?”

The hint of amusement creeping into Wilbur’s tone only made Tommy’s frown deepen, keeping his mouth firmly shut. 

He found Up in the list of movies, putting it on and flopping onto the single couch. “There. This movie is a cinematic masterpiece and is much better than whatever morbid bullshit you were watching before,” Tommy grumbled, holding the remote protectively in his grasp.

Wilbur shook his head lightly, biting his lip to hide the smile on his face. “I wasn’t even the one who put the documentary on!” He pointed out indignantly.

Tommy gave him a judgmental look, “Yeah, but you laughed at them.”

Wilbur waved his hand, “They’ve literally been dead for about a decade, I doubt they mind all too much,” he insisted dismissively.

Getting no response from Tommy this time, Wilbur walked over and tapped his knee, “Alright, gremlin, shove over. I don’t want to agitate Ranboo’s burns and this is the only other seat.”

“Sit on the floor,” Tommy suggested with no hesitation.

Wilbur shrugged, “I mean, I could just sit on you if you aren’t going to move,” he countered after a moment’s thought.

Tommy glared, crossing his arms tightly, “Apologize to the dead animals first- and then I’ll move,” he decided.

Wilbur let out an exasperated sigh, but didn’t complain any further. “Fine. I’m sorry for laughing at the deaths of tiny animals in a documentary that came out several years ago,” he apologized, not sounding the least bit genuine.

Regardless, a promise is a promise- actually, Tommy didn’t promise shit, but he did want to get back to watching Up in peace. So the teen shuffled over to make room on the single couch for Wilbur to plop down next to him.

“There, happy?” Tommy asked flatly as Wilbur got comfortable beside him.

An arm was slung over his shoulders, pulling Tommy into Wilbur’s side. “Yeah, I’d say so,” the older hummed, giving Tommy’s arm a gentle squeeze.

Tommy butt his head against Wilbur’s chest in lighthearted retaliation before glancing over to Ranboo.

The injured teen, obviously, hadn’t moved from his spot, but had been staring at them. An indescribable expression on the hybrid’s face, a look that vanished into a friendly smile so quickly that Tommy was sure he simply imagined the almost sadness in his gaze and slight downward flick of Ranboo’s ears.

Watching for just a few more seconds, Tommy tore his eyes away in favour of staring at the screen again.

Pushing away his concerns for future Tommy to worry about, he did his best to relax into Wilbur’s arms and forget about the fact that Ranboo would be taken back to the Orphanage soon by distracting himself with the movie playing at too quiet of a volume level.

---

“What do you mean, ‘you can’t punish someone without evidence’? He was the only one there!” Dream argued, glaring down the principal behind his mask.

The man stared evenly back at him from his desk, shuffling a stack of papers and setting them to the side. “He said he fell in on his own, right? There’s no proof that the boy was pushed, especially if he even admitted to tripping without outside interference. End of conversation.” 

Dream balled his fists, clenching his jaw and breathing in slowly to stop himself from lashing out prematurely. “With all due respect, sir, I think we both know that’s ridiculous. That-” he bit back the insult that threatened to rise from his throat, “Student, could have killed Ranboo. And now you’re just going to let him get away scot-free?” He demanded incredulously, letting a hint of controlled rage seep into his voice.

The principal still showed no sign that he was actually considering Dream’s words. Going as far as to pick up his pen and leisurely scratch away at one of his papers. “It’s not getting away ‘scot-free’ if he never did anything to begin with-”

Dream slammed his hands on the desk, “Bullshit!” he seethed.

Silence fell over them for a few long moments before the principal opened his mouth again. “Are you done now?”

Dream didn’t bother to grace the old fool with a verbal response, tilting his chin up defiantly.

“Listen, Dream… You’re a good kid, real bright future ahead of you. We as a school are lucky to have someone like you. So I’m sure you’ll understand why we can’t kick that kid out, or even suspend him temporarily- not when his parents are such valued backers of the school, and he’s got good grades as well,” The principal drawled, remaining unbothered by the situation at hand.

Dream was sure the principal was able to feel the heat of his glare now, mask or not. “My parents are valuable backers of the school!” He shot back.

Another skritch of pen on paper, “Yes, and that’s something we appreciate greatly, but we can’t exactly kick out such a promising student purely because you’ve claimed he supposedly pushed the student with a record for being clumsy and causing problems with his peers,” the principal continued, moving his paper to the bottom of the stack and writing something on the next in line.

“He’s not clumsy,” Dream hissed through gritted teeth, instantly remembering what Wilbur and Techno said when he had suggested the same thing earlier.

He was about to open his mouth again, maybe to point out that it was the principal’s job to ensure the students’ safety when on school grounds, only to be unfortunately cut off by the bell.

The principal finally set his pen down on the sleek wooden desk with a quiet, but noticeable click.

The man sighed, adjusting the cuffs of his sleeves and meeting Dream’s gaze. “Listen, son. This can go down one of two ways. Why don’t we talk about them and then you can decide which is most fair,” he negotiated, wrinkles appearing much more prominent in that moment.

Dream pulled his hands away from the desk and gestured for the man to continue, jaw still clenched.

“Option one, we call in both yours and Luke’s parents. His parents get upset for being brought out and suggesting that their boy could possibly do wrong, and demand for Ranboo to receive punishment instead. Your parents get worried that you’re hanging out with bad influences and everyone’s time is wasted- or, option two, we forget all of this ever happened and no one gets punished,” the principal rattled off, never once breaking eye-contact with Dream.

How was that even a choice? Dream knew that life wasn’t fair- but this was just ridiculous!

And the worst part- it was true!

Dream knew all too well what rich people were like, stuck-up and ignorant to the flaws of their children, quick to pin the blame on anyone but the guilty. No matter what happened, if the school gave even the smallest of reprimands, that brat’s parents would be hearing about it and throwing a fit before you could so much as blink.

It left a bitter taste in his mouth. The realization that Ranboo was a thousand times more likely to be blamed than the actual perpetrator.

Dream almost went to shove his hands into his pockets, only to remember at the last second that he had given his sweater to Ranboo.

He took in a deep breath… At least Ranboo was at Phil’s place now. The kid was in safe hands for the time being, far away from this school bullshit for at least a couple of weeks.

“Alright, fine. We pretend this never happened.” Yeah right.

There was no way in hell Dream was just going to sit by and do nothing while the asshat who hurt his friend goes another day without being told no by anyone.

Not that he was going to tell the principal any of that.

The old man nodded, “Good. You are dismissed, then, have a good day.”

Dream left the office, leaving the door wide open out of spite.

He couldn’t be sure if he was grateful or disappointed by the lack of security cameras to pick it up when Dream flashed the middle finger at the office after he started walking back down the hall.

---

Cake Club

Sapnap has been added to Cake Club

George has been added to Cake Club

Bad has been added to Cake Club

Dream: bad news

Dream: the school is incompetent and wont do shit about the guy who hurt ranboo

Sapnap: what the hell is this?

Dream: this is where we figure out ways to make that weasels life hell without being discovered by the school and getting into trouble

Bad: we should probably try talking to that ragamuffin first, right? ಠ_ಠ

George: ehh

Dream: oh ill be talking to him alright

Sapnap: yeah give him hell dream!!

Bad: what grade is he in

Dream: not sure yet, but he looked like a first year

Bad: hm

Dream: Bad listen to me

Bad: yeah im listening!

Dream: I know you dont want to hurt anyone, but you didnt see Ranboo

Dream: his entire upper body is covered in water burns because of that jackass

Dream: it looked like it was hurting him just to breathe

Dream: Bad, I cant let this slide

Bad: Alright…

Bad: I’ll talk to Skeppy, im sure he’ll come up with something pretty muffiny to make him pay for what he did

Dream: thank you

Bad: of course, we wont let that potato get away with hurting our enigma boy (ง︡'-'︠)ง

George: great

George: now before we start planning murder or whatever…

George: why is this gc called the cake club?

George: are we gonna rp as girlscouts until the guy passes out from fear?

Sapnap: yeah im curious too

Dream: i mean, we could try that if you really wanted to

George: i dont

Dream: oh

Bad: so??

Dream: Because we’re going ot be delivering that first year his just desserts

Dream: ...Also its a cover name

George: why do we need a cover neam?

Dream: because Drista’s a nosy brat, but even she’ll be deterred if i say this is a gc for ppl with dumptruck asses

Bad: DREAM

George: i mean… wheres the lie?

Sapnap: true, we’ve all got ass for days

Bad: oh my goodness, i cant believe you three >_<

Dream: relax Bad, its just a cover story

George: yeah bad

Bad: im gonna go talk to Skeppy, i’ll let you know if we come up with anything good

Dream: again, thanks for the help Bad

Bad: of course, im always happy to help, Dream.

Chapter Text

Ranboo woke up slowly, becoming increasingly more aware of the dryness of his mouth and the faint pain settled deep into his skin.

Confusion sparked in his muddled thoughts, brain still clouded by a sleepy fog.

He tried to bring his hand up to his face and was immediately met with arcs of pain spreading across his skin like a wildfire. A hiss slipped past clenched teeth as he forced himself to go still.

“Ranboo, hey bud. How’re you feeling? Is there anything I can get you?” Miss Puffy’s voice asked softly from beside him.

The teen pried his eyes open, squinting at the caretaker.

A chair had been pulled up close to Ranboo’s bedside. Puffy’s slightly frizzy white hair was outlined by silver lighting peeking through half-closed curtains far behind her.

“What happened?" Ranboo croaked, internally wincing at the sorry state of his own voice.

Miss Puffy pursed her lips, worry and concern flitting across her face. “Do you… Remember anything about yesterday? At all?”

Ranboo frowned, narrowing his eyes as he tried to think back on the previous day.

Finding only the expected memories of his school day, but-

Wait… No, that wasn’t right. Something was missing.

Why couldn’t he remember anything after the very beginning of lunch? The last memory he could keep a solid grasp on was seeing Dream at the other end of the hall, and then… Nothing.

What the hell?  

Sure, it wasn’t the first time he’d forgotten about things, but it wasn’t- he wasn’t supposed to have forgotten an entire afternoon!

“Ranboo, hey, do you think you could calm down for me, kiddo? It’s alright, you’re gonna be okay, just breathe,” Puffy soothed, pulling him back into reality.

The teen swallowed thickly, flexing his claws against the bed sheets as lightly as possible, having to force back another wince at the pain caused by even the tiniest movement.

Puffy waited until Ranboo’s breathing was back under control before speaking up again, “So, how much do you remember?” She prompted gently, her expression holding nothing less than utmost patience for him.

A low whine forced its way out of Ranboo’s throat, just barely stopping himself from trying to run his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know. Miss Puffy, everything hurts and I don’t even remember why I’m in so much pain,” He admitted helplessly.

Puffy’s eyes widened, looking stunned for a few seconds before she seemed to get a hold of her expression again. 

She nodded, whether it was to Ranboo or herself, he wasn’t sure. The action, paired with taking a deep breath, seemed to help Miss Puffy relax a bit.

“That’s alright, I’m probably missing some details, but I think I can probably fill you in on the gist of things, you know?” Puffy started with a vague wrist gesture.

Ranboo blinked and nodded slowly while he waited for her to continue.

Miss Puffy gave a comforting smile before opening her mouth and speaking up. “Okay- again, don’t know everything- but, from what Phil told me, someone pushed you into the fountain in your school courtyard. A kid named Dream found you and-”

Dream?! Ranboo felt his heart stutter, and he was sure if he had been standing, he would have fallen over in that moment.

“-Phil drove you to his place and kept an eye on you until someone else came around to bring you back here. I already called your boss, too, so you don’t have to worry about any of that. All you have to do is relax for a few weeks until these nasty water-burns heal,” Puffy finished explaining.

And, oh boy, Ranboo wasn’t sure if that was going to be heaven or hell. He was leaning much more towards the latter. 

Just the simple concept of having to stay in the Orphanage, likely bedridden or at the very least stuck indoors for the majority of two to three weeks made dread curl in Ranboo’s gut. 

How was he even going to survive this?

Ranboo swept his gaze over the empty bedroom before eventually letting it fall on the phone that was plugged in and charging on the edge of his bed. A little blue light flashed at a steady pace, it’s way of informing him of the unchecked notifications.

After a moment of hesitation and nibbling on his lower lip, Ranboo looked back to Puffy. “Thank you for telling me, do- um, can I have some time alone? Just while I try to figure some things out?”

The woman nodded and stood up, “Yeah, sure thing. I’ll always be just a text away, ‘kay, Ranboo?” She reminded him before finally leaving the room.

Waiting until her footsteps fully faded, Ranboo grit his teeth and pushed himself into a sitting position. 

The light blanket dropped from his shoulders and pooled around his lap, revealing the neon green hoodie that he knew didn’t belong to him (though he couldn’t help but feel like he recognized it from somewhere).

Ignoring that little tidbit for the moment, Ranboo unplugged his phone and turned it on.

Grian: Schlatt said you're can't make it to work for a couple weeks

Grian: wouldn't tell me why tho

Grian: are you okay?

Grian: Ranboo?

Grian: Ranboo 

Grian: are you hurt

Grian: do you need any help

Grian: im very worried

Grian: dont doubt my ability to mother hen you

Grian: i know you thpught mumbo was just joking when he said that

Grian: but I assure you I am very clingy

Grian: i once sent him a thousand messages because he forgot to tell me he'd called in sick too work

Grian: ranboo

Grian: ranboo 

Grian: ran

Grian: boo

Grian: booran 

Grian: ravioli

Grian: broccoli

Grian: ranboo

Grian: prankster pupil

Grian: :ooo

Grian: im gonna make a bunch of faces now >:O

Grian: °~°

Grian: 0-0

Grian: ( 'o ')

Grian: >:I 

Grian: >///<

Grian: :|

The messages went on like that for a while. Almost the entire chat history filled a variety of text faces.

It honestly felt kind of nice. To see how long Grian had kept up spamming silly faces or the occasional picture of his pet cats.

Ranboo: hey srory for missig your texts

Ranboo: got hurt at school

Ranboo: ill be okay though

He was about to switch over to the inmates group chat, until a new message came through from Grian.

Grian: oh thank goodness!!

Grian: no one was telling me anything i was worried sick about you!

Ranboo: haha my bad

Ranboo: kind of stuck indoors until all this heals though

Ranboo: guess this means we have to reschedule our hangout time then :(

Grian: nonsense!

Ranboo: ?

Grian: I can just come to your place or something

Grian: only if youre okay with that of course

Grian: just thought id offer because it sounds suuuuuuuuuuper boring to be cooped up inside all day.

Grian: what will you even do?

Grian: count cars driving by the winfow???

Ranboo stared at the messages as they popped up at a rapid pace.

On one hand- yes, gods yes- he was already starting to feel antsy thanks to being bedridden for the time being. On the other hand… Grian didn’t actually know Ranboo was an orphan, and he kind of wanted to keep it that way for at least a bit longer.

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Grian, or thought the other teen would make fun of him for it. Simply put, it just wasn’t a topic he enjoyed talking about, and so he strongly preferred to avoid bringing it up in the first place.

Unless…

Ranboo: not at my place

Ranboo: but maybe somewhere close to it?

Grian: really? :D

Ranboo: i mean, i’d like to?

Grian: then i would too

Grian: just give me a time and place ranboop

Ranboo: not sure on the details yet

Ranboo: but i think i should be good to go outside in like….

Ranboo: a week? Maybe???

Grian: lovely, good thing i already had this week cleared

Grian: (outside of homework but sushhh)

Ranboo: lol ill talk to you later grian

Grian: take care!!

A grin stretched across Ranboo’s face, not even minding as it pulled at the water burns that sprawled upwards from his neck.

God, he was getting so much better at social interactions.

INMATES- it’s just school, you muffinheads o-O

ManlyMan: sooooo

ManlyMan: hows everyone doing after yesterdays kerfuffle?

Oh boy, what did he miss? 

Ranigma: what happened yesterday?

ManlyMan: bruh

Wilby: who’s on Ranboo’s phone?

Ranigma: me

Ranigma: Ranboo

Skep: did you get amnesia or smthign

Ranigma: kind of??

Skep: wuait reslly

Wilby: what

Ranboo’s ears flicked nervously, maybe he shouldn’t have said anything. He probably would have been able to piece things together just by reading the chat messages.

He sighed quietly, it was a little too late for that now though.

Ranigma: well, i dont really what happened after the start of lunch yesterday

Ranigma: soo

ManlyMan: oh

Wilby: well that’s certainly troublesome

ManlyMan: you really don’t remember it?

ManlyMan: at all?

Panic tightened around his lungs. What was he forgetting? 

It had to be important if they were making such a big deal out of it. Did he mess up?

Was this where they kicked him out of the group chat and never talked to him again?

He typed out his next message with trembling fingers and halted breath.

Ranigma: what did i do?

Wilby: oh no, you didn’t do anything wrong dont worry

Wilbur’s text popped up with impressive speed, making his chest loosen and turn into something marginally more tolerable.

Ranboo let out a relieved exhale, tilting his head back against the wall behind him.

Skep: i mean it techanilacllly is about u buuut

Skep: not in a bad way

Ranigma: then waht

Dre: Im sure you already know this, but you got hurt yesterday. 

Dre: it doesn’t sound good that you forgot everything around the time that you go t hurt

Ranigma: wait why do you guys even know about that

Ranigma: no offence

Ranigma: but thats not usually something i share in here

Dre: alright, so, i dont want you to panic again

Dre: but i kind of found out who you are

Ranboo’s mind went blank at that.

How.

How did someone find out who he was? And why the heck did it have to be lost to some dumb memory gap?

Unless they were lying about it?

But why would they lie about something like that? They knew about his injuries too- how did they know about his injuries.

Ranboo frowned as he recognized the slight stutter in his breathing pattern.

He took a moment to regulate his breathing, slowly inhaling for a few seconds, holding it for a moment, before letting the air deflate from his lungs.

It was fine. He was going to be fine.

Dre: shit was that too sudden?

Wilby: uhhh idk

Wilby: Ranboo?

Wilby: Ranboo you there pal?

Ranigma: yeah

Ranigma: sorry

Wilby: its fine, I'm sure this is pretty stressful

Ranigma: mhm 

Ranigma: so uhh

Ranigma: how did you say you found me?

Dre: again please try not to panic when i say this 

Dre: i promise everythings fine

Ranigma: hhhhh saying that makes me think thats not really rhe case

Dre: it’ll be fine

Dre: i found you when you got pushed into the fountain

Ranigma: ok

Dre: and you teleported both of us to a secret room

Ranigma: oh

Dre: i brought you to the nurses office and then phil came to pick you up

Ranigma: ok

Dre: also im Dream

Ranboo dropped his phone in shock, the device falling into his lap with a soft thump.

More messages popped up, and he was quick to pick his phone back up.

Dre: you freaked out about it yesterday

Dre: wait are you freaking out about it again

Dre: shit

Dre: wilbur i messed up

Ranigma: youre joking right?

Wilby: no, he’s being serious

ManlyMan: yeah

Pandas: im sitting right beside him, so i can vouch

Pandas: also he stinks

Dre: I DO NOT

Pandas: uh yes you do

Pandas: i have a better sense of smell than you do, loser

Dre: I showered this morning!

Pandas: and??

Pandas: we had gym earlier dude

Pandas: you smell like dogshit

Pandas: look like it too

Dre: dude

George: i mean

George: is he wrong?????

Dre: YES

Wilby: Men, I believe we’ve gotten sidetracked

Pandas: oops

Dre: but yeah

Dre: not lying about being dream

Dre: I even gave you my hoodie, if thats proof enough for you

Oh, so that was where he got that green sweater from.

God, he should just- yeah, he should just go back to sleep, or something. Because this whole situation was making his brian hurt.

What were the odds? How the hell did he end up in the same group chat as Dream. Did Lady Luck just have it out for him?

That was starting to seem like the only reasonable explanation he could think of.

He pulled his tail against his chest, wrapping the fluffy bit gently around his wrist.

Ranigma: alright

What else was he supposed to say? What else could he say?

Ranigma: well

Ranigma: thank you for helping me then

Ranigma: talk later i guess

Wilby: take care

Dre: get some rest

Ranboo set his phone down beside him, silently cursing the charger for falling onto the floor and out of his reach.

He shut his eyes and shoved his hands into his pockets with a heavy sigh, only to stiffen when his knuckle bumped against something metallic.

Pulling it out, a red and white bottle cap glinted and glittered when he held it up to the few rays of natural sunlight that filtered in through the windows.

“What the...” How- just how?

This was one of Tommy’s bottle caps, right? How did it end up in Ranboo’s pocket?

Wait.

Dream said Phil picked him up, right?

Ugh, that was so weird to think about. He wasn’t sure he really wanted to think about the fact that he had talked to Dream.

This whole thing felt like a realistic fever dream. Maybe that was what it was.

It wouldn’t be the first time he’d had dreams where he just lived out his day normally.

… Except dreams didn’t result in feeling physical pain from burns. So there goes that option, meaning he was actually awake.

“You know what? Nope, going back to sleep,” Ranboo muttered, tucking the bottle cap back into the pocket of the hoodie (that Dream had apparently given him?).

He did his best to get comfortable, though it was made difficult by the way his burns pinched with pain at every little movement.

Sleep helps heal wounds, right? That sounded like it was probably accurate.

Maybe a few more hours of rest would make the pain of realizing he’d sassed Dream on multiple occasions and would eventually have to go back to the same school as the upperclassman lessen slightly.

Yeah, probably not, but one could hope.

Chapter Text

Cake Club

George: so

George: whats our plan with this whole thing anyway?

Sapnap: fuck shit up?

Bad: Language :/

Sapnap: seriously bad?

Bad: what? Its not a good habit to swear all the time

Sapnap: i dont swear ALL the time

Bad: hmm, well it sure seems like you do

George: ugh

George: can you guys stop wasting time?

Bad: we’re not wasting time, this is an important topic

Dream: and you can talk about it later

Sapnap: thank god

George: took you long enough

Dream: Bad, you said you talked to Skeppy?

Bad: yup! We came up with some pretty muffiny ideas >:D

Bad: though a lot of Skeppy’s seemed pretty cruel

Dream: Good.

Sapnap: do you have a list or something?

Bad: uhh yeah, actually

Bad: just let me…