Archive of Our Own ^beta

Obito smirked as the horde of shinobi swarmed the finally exhausted Madara. The bastard had wanted to put the world in an eternal dream; hah! The raw chakra granted by the Ten-Tails could alter reality itself. Why bother with a world encompassing fake? He couldn't keep himself from laughing like a madman as he went through his invented chain of handsigns.

It's time to finish this world.

"Get the other one!"

"He can't beat all of us!"

Obito continued his handsigns as the Allied Shinobi Forces army surged towards him, mentally ordering his truth-seeking orbs to run interference. Screams and yells resounded as the orbs rushed into the bulge of people and reformed into jagged weapons, slicing through ninja like a mowing blade through grass.

"You won't win, bastard!" Screamed Naruto as he forced a Rasenshuriken did he imbue it with nature energy? through an orb, and rushed forward to strike Obito.

Just a few more handsigns.

The air was becoming saturated with chakra.

Come on.

The gold-orange blur got closer, and Obito could feel the chakra gathering for another Rasenshuriken.

Last One.

"IZA-"

Naruto's rasengan hit-

"-NA-"

-and crashed into Obito-

"GI!"

-and reality bent

Obito grunted as his secretary dropped off another pile of paperwork on his desk. At this rate, the overflow from the Kage Tower being repaired wouldn't be processed for an entire week.

There was a distant thumping noise and yelling, which Obito chose to ignore as he took a paper out of the inbox and began to skim it.

More funding for the Barrier Corps? With what budget? Obito stamped 'DENIED' on it and shoved it into the outbox.

Torture and Information wanted to put overflow in Anbu cells and had gotten the signature of the Anbu commander. Why was this on his desk? APPROVED

The yelling got a bit louder.

The Tower Administration wanted to reorganize the stored low rank mission scrolls. A good idea, if the Tower wasn't currently being repaired. DENIED

The Academy staff wanted to submit a list of emergency graduates that they believed wouldn't have been able to pass the tests had there not been a war. Probably good to review, even though it would put more things on his plate. APPROVED

Kiri had sent a paper discussing a . . . marriage proposal to him from the Mizukage? What the fuck?

"OBITO!"

There was a crash as Naruto forced the door to his office, fire in his eyes and a trail of battered chunin in the hall behind him.

Obito sighed. "Did you have to break the door down? It just got fixed yesterday."

"Repair reality right now, you fucking pervert!" Naruto yelled, aggressively pointing his finger at the bemused hokage.

"Even if I could undo the Infinite Izanagi, why would I?" Obito snarked.

Wait.

"Pervert?"

"You really shouldn't barge into the Hokage's Office like this, Naruto." An Anbu stepped around Naruto into the room, taking off her mask to reveal . . . a younger Mikoto? She walked over and dropped another pile of paper onto Obito's desk. "Twenty new marriage proposals for you, and fifteen for Naruto."

Obito stilled for a moment, then activated his sharingan. The papers remained.

"Kai!"

The papers were still there.

"Naruto, how about I go take you to do something more interesting than bothering Obito?" The mini-mikoto said as she fluttered her eyelashes at a twitching Naruto.

"IZANAMI!" A ghostly skeleton hand crashed through the wall, grabbing Naruto and reeling him back to another mini-mikoto.

"Naruto is MINE." She hissed, Mangekyo active.

"Don't be foolish, Satsuki." Izanami calmly said as she activated her own, a ghostly rib cage beginning to form around her.

"NO FIGHTING IN MY OFFICE!" Obito roared, violently gripping his desk.

Izanami and Satsuki glared at him for a couple seconds, but both let their Susanoo dissipate and their Sharingan slowed down and deactivated. Naruto let out a breath of relief and rubbed his arms where he'd been gripped.

Obito let out a sigh, but then paused.

Girls with Mangekyo Sharingan.

Uchiha Izanami.
Uchiha Satsuki.

Uchiha I.
Uchiha S.

That look just like Mikoto.

. . .

And if Itachi and Sasuke had been turned into girls, then...

"Yo." A woman wearing a flak jacket and a mask over the lower half of her face stepped through a open window. Her long gray hair rippled as she looked around the room, taking in the debris and scattered paper. "Are you busy? I've got something kinda important to tell you, Obito."

"I was just going to take Naruto to lunch, Kaori." Satsuki replied, grabbing onto Naruto's arm and dragging him off into the hallway.

Izanami ground her teeth, but nodded at Kaori as she followed after. "I'll leave you in private, Hatake."

Hatake Kaori.
Hatake K.

Ignoring Obito's internal panic, Kaori walked up and sat down on the top of the desk, placing her legs on each of Obito's armrests.

"There isn't really a good way to say this, but..." She flushed and looked away from him.

"But what?" Obito asked, sounding a little strangled.

"We haven't been using protection and I just had morning sickness."

Obito's jaw dropped.

Rudely ignoring Obito's now broken brain, a screech of rage came through the broken wall from the hallway.

A furious not dead Rin stomped into the office, drawing on Bijuu Chakra and leaking Killing Intent.

"Kaori, you home-wrecking bitch!"

Minato sighed contentedly as Ayame set down bowls of Ramen in front of him and Kushina. He was retired, somebody else was responsible for anything going wrong, and he could just sit down and enjoy going out for lunch with his wife.

Distantly, there was an explosion in the direction of the Kage Tower.

Kushina paused with her chopsticks halfway between her bowl and her mouth.

"We probably don't need to check on it immediately." Minato said with fake calm.

I am no longer Hokage. I do not need to rush to check everything bad that happens. Obito and his Anbu can handle themselves.

A demonic roar swept through the village, and the Three Tails began to take shape over the village.

Sirens started going off.

Minato twitched, grabbed onto Kushina's hand, and disappeared in a flash of light.

Teuchi stepped out in front of the shop, took a look at the flares of Ninjutsu in the distance, and let out a sigh.

"Can't Lord Obito keep it in his pants? This is the third time this month."