Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The lobby elevator dinged. Exactly ten flustered applicants stepped out. Her test had ended two hours ago. She was waiting for everyone else to finish typing. Every second felt like another needle in her neck. Thousands of them were jamming into her spine. The back of her head was sore. She had spent the last month in bed studying.

Watching the sea of hopeful faces inflamed her frazzled nerves.

Do I look that desperate too?

No, I don’t think so.

I’m frozen.

I don’t look scared.

I am scared.

There’s a big difference.

She wanted to spit on their shiny boots.

They’re panicking for no reason.

One man was crying, and embracing a friend. The hug pile grew until six people were being comforted at once. She wasn’t the only one staring. The pity party was alarmingly immature, and loud.

She wanted to scream.

Why are you whining?

If you fail an advancement test, nothing will change.

I’m here for a re-test.

That’s a real problem.

You get to stay in the city, no matter what. You met the minimum requirement at some point.

If I mess up again it’s over for me.

The others can tell.

I can feel their eyes one me.

Her nails dug into her comfortable, regulation standard test centre track pants.

A couple of them have already pointed at me.

I’m not nineteen.

I’m twenty three.

This is my last chance.

Your doting parents might frown at you when you sit down to eat dinner.

That’s it.

The consequences aren't exactly dire for you.

Hundreds of bodies were waiting patiently in perfectly aligned seats. The floor was shinier than her bathroom mirror. Honeycomb shaped lights were casting hexagonal shadows on her plain white uniform.

The anti-cheat cameras in her breast pocket had been deactivated, but she still had to wear the itchy shirt until she received her grade.

Apparently, nervous challengers tried to hack the main frame all the time. New rules had been established to combat that threat. The trackers inside the scratchy thing had to stay on her chest, and there was a timer on her chair.

If she got up, and chose not to return after ten minutes, a guard would come ask for an explanation.

A helpful brochure had cheerfully warned her about that.

The lobby elevator dinged, but no one came out.

A professor coughed into a microphone.

“The last batch of papers has been processed. You will receive your grade by seat order. Do not forget your number. If we miss you, we’ll be able to find you if you just remember your seat code. Engineer applications will be processed first due to high demand. Everyone with an “E” on their armrest please walk through the double doors to your left.”

She poked her head above the crowd to watch the nanotech engineers leave.

Her seat was too for away.

The budding upper echelon elites were just blobs in the distance.

They were in white, just like her. The test floor strips away everything but your number. People from all walks of life were chatting like old friends.

The real elites disappeared.

Her age bracket was waiting for their grades in a clump, near the back door.

She was holding a grey I.D slip.

Everyone else was nervously fiddling with a purple one.

One hour.

One hour for fifty questions.

It's not enough time.

This isn't fair.

My head is killing me.

Why are all of the women in my bracket so damn tall?

Am I the only pureblood human here?

The other women looked convincingly normal, but most of the people in her colony were mixed with something. It was a fact of life. Trade brings in new traditions, species, and eventually mixed families. The beauty three seats down was definitely part Alurian. Her subtly luminescent skin was making the metal walls shine.

The brightly lit waiting room was drab. The entire space was dedicated to chairs. It was meant to hold as many applicants as possible.

The thirty empty engineer seats were a drop in an ocean of mediocrity.

She was breathing through her nose to stay calm. Fresh, new applicants were huddling near the front desk.

They got their results first.

The grey cards slapped against a scanner. A noodle thin professor scanned each wristband, before he returned their papers.

She didn’t spot one unhappy face.

All of the grey, bright-eyed nineteen year old hopefuls left with purple cards.

She flipped her plastic settlement passport open. The plastic layer on top of the grey I.D card was cracked. Her outdated photo was foggy.

Rachel Light.

Student.

Age: 19-20-21-22-23

The unbroken line of numbers represented four spectacular failures.

She had not given up, even when the administrator outside had gently encouraged her to leave.

Her fate wasn't sealed yet. She wanted to believe in herself. Her heart was prepared for this moment.

Win or lose.

Sink or swim.

She had chosen to stay.

The gangly professor was slowly coming closer. Her fate was approaching faster than a ticking clock.

She had tried to comfort herself many times.

An insidious, soothing voice told her everything was ok.

Becoming an automated worker isn’t a bad thing. You only have to work for six hours. Only four days a week! Your brain is off during that time. A microchip headband takes care of everything for you. You’ll be wearing protective gear too. After the day is over, you forget about the mundane work you did. A machine massages you if you did physical labor, and then you go home.

Every human being is precious.

Mother Earth is gone.

We are the most valuable resource.

That includes you too.

The teacher had said it with a smile. A real, deep one dipped in empathy. Every teacher in school was more peppy and sweet than the last.

She had hated them all.

Her secondary school teachers had all handed her brochures full of the same schmaltzy, cherry sweet words.

The bitter sugar made her gag.

I’m not lazy.

I don’t want to live my life on autopilot.

I must be more valuable than my body.

Are my automated hands really more valuable than my conscious brain?

How am I supposed to live with that?

I don’t want to smoke wedlax all day in a satellite town, in between pointless labor shifts.

I love living near the docks.

You can see the stars, and caravans from other planets here.

I’m not afraid of what’s out there, in this vast universe.

I’m not asking for much.

Just let me work at the shipping dock.

Please.

Please!

Her primitive prayers just sounded like begging. The professor was about to reach her seat.

Her head refused to stop jerking back and forth. Untamed curls smacked into her cheeks. Her curly blonde ponytail was loosening. It fell out and tangled into a knot when the scanner flashed over her wristband.

The professor considerately cut it off for her.

“There. Sorry about that red mark on your poor wrist. So many cheaters want to sneak into high paying jobs. Arrogance doesn’t know fear. Hmmm…mmhmm…you did the basic LAP test. No…this is your fifth year. Oh my, this is the lowest level too. Please return your house key card. You live in the outskirts, don’t you? Living in a satellite town will be so much easier. There’s plant life everywhere. Don’t worry about getting a career. Everyone is treated well under the current government. I’m a little jealous. You’ll be living in a dream. Some of us have to work for the greater good, but hey, you are the greater good. I feel fulfilled when I help people like you. Go chat with the real estate agent. After you give her your key, she’ll surprise you. The older homes in smaller cities are enormous. I know your life will be peaceful. Have a good day.”

Her eyes were watering.

Don’t you remember me?

You’ve told me the same thing five times.

I should hate you, but I don’t.

It’s like there’s a wall between us.

I don’t even know your name.

I don’t know you, because you’re not interested in me.

It's that simple.

This doesn't hurt as much, because I already knew.

“Thank you.”

He courteously left after she responded.

The interlocking bay doors closed. She turned around, and looked at them.

I can’t go back in.

I fought against fate, but it was a waste of time.

The most embarrassing part is my grade. You only need a 60 to pass, and I got 41 points.

That's not even close.

I can’t even pretend to be a victim of fraud or bad circumstances. 

I live in a clean house, and the government paid for my education.

I couldn’t pass the lowest level.

Someone else will get the dubious honor I wanted. The illustrious right to type out price tags and stick them on boxes.

“Ahem. Ahem! Ms. Rachel!”

The shrill voice stopped her heart.

She gasped, and gagged, and walked into the door.

“Shit!”

A pair of heels thundered towards her.

“Ms. Rachel! Are you alright? I’m Apple Langley. Just call me Apple. Give me your house key and I’ll get you something better. Where do you want to work? An orchard? A field? A communication centre?”

The polished agent was wearing candy red lipstick. It clashed with her pale skin, but she was pretty enough to hide that mistake. Her slanted eyes were muddier than a swamp, but her purple eye makeup was flawless. The bold colors hid her flaws. The ladylike woman was wearing modern camouflage.

Her skin tight pencil skirt was clinging to an unnaturally round ass.

Rachel smirked.

She’s ugly.

It’s hidden under a surgery or two, but it’s there.

How fitting.

Rachel smiled like a child.

“Wow! Hi! I’m Rachel. The professor said you were going to get me an awesome house! Let’s go to your office!”

Apple nodded, and put on a pair of square sunglasses.

“Want a coffee first? I can’t live without caffeinated smoothies. I go to Lausuma every damn day. They know my name. We can get a table and chat. Just us gals.”

Stop shaking your silicone enhanced hips, you fucking cow.

I know what you’re planning.

“Sure thing Apple. I’m thirsty. Can I have a strawberry drink? What fruity flavors do they have? My house belonged to my parents. My bills are on auto pay. How much is my property worth?”

Apple covered her mouth, to hide the ugliest grin in the galaxy.

“Well, the house is old. I think the next owner will bulldoze it. Don’t worry about it. Your country home will be better. That’s what they’re called, by the way. Isn’t that lovely? The country homes in the olden days were so romantic. I think our model homes are even cuter. Do you want a pink kitchen? We offer free house painting services.”

Paint is cheap.

How stupid do you think I am?

The Nest is the capital. Half of the entire colony lives here. My tiny house is worth a small fortune.

She had to bite her lip.

Look at her.

She’s convulsing like an excited dog, because she thinks she’s about to take my entire inheritance.

Give me a fucking break.

She really thinks I’m easy.

I’ve been underestimated, and she’s babying me.

How insulting.

Apple swiped her card.

A secluded café door opened smoothly.

Lausuma was the perfect honey trap.

Literally.

Organic bees were creating sustainable honey in comb shaped wall enclosures. The drink prices were exorbitant, and everything was made of delicate metal vines.

Everything.

Even the bathroom door.

The drinks all smelled like divine ambrosia. She pinched her nose, because the strong scents were making her drool.

She read the sign next to the cash register.

Our reward point cards are on sale! Only 150 credits for one. 100 for two. It’s the best gift ever for a couple!

Her stomach turned.

Orchard workers earn 150 credits a week. Things are cheaper out there, because the city residents don’t want “my kind” here. It’s the harsh truth. I can't pretend anymore. I'm being kicked out. My student allowance is officially gone. I failed the last test. The government now recognizes me as an adult.

Now, scam artists are allowed to milk me dry.

They checked five times.

I’m useless, so I’m not worthy of protection anymore.

That’s too sad. I might actually crack and cry.

Apple gave her a strawberry tea milkshake. The whipped cream on top was taller than her ring encrusted middle finger.

“Drink this.”

Her voice was low.

I don’t think so.

Regular coffee cafes aren’t this secretive. I bet there’s emotion enhancers in this drink.

They’re not illegal, but you’re only supposed to use them at home.

If you “accidentally” drink some “joy” in a mall you’ll buy anything and everything in sight.

It’s a classic scam technique.

She sighed like she was lost.

“Apple, I want to work in the city. Can’t I be an automated worker here? I see them all the time. There must be an extra job for me.”

Apple frowned.

“You said you were excited.”

The whipped cream tower was drooping like a limp dick.

“Yeaahh…I know, but I want to know my options. My house is a two hour bus ride from the shipping core. I’m super close to the whole universe. Can’t I stay?”

She blinked at Apple expectantly.

The candy red thief drank her black coffee slowly.

“Rachel, you don’t have any career level family members in the city. Automated workers can only live here if they have a family member, or a child in the career workforce. You don’t want to separate families, do you? You learned this in school, didn’t you?”

I did.

It’s unfair, and I’m throwing that in your face.

You should be ashamed.

I know you won’t be, but I have to say it.

“I wanted to ask anyway. My house is worth at least one million credits. Grandma told me before she passed. Mom left to live with her new family ages ago. I’m the only benefactor. One million or I won’t sell.”

Apple was actually looking at her now.

The atmosphere changed.

It was a sudden shift.

Rachel actually felt it.

“Fine. You must be dying on the inside. You’re not a worthless moron, but you’re no good at math or science. That means we don’t need you. I think you’re smart enough to know that.”

She clasped her hands together under the table to hide her emotional reaction.

Malice bled into her clear yellow eyes.

Her ears narrowed.

“You…said yes too easily.”

Apple shrugged.

“It’s worth more than one million. I was going to offer you three hundred thousand. You played around too much. Our short game has ended. Here's the deal. Sell to me now, or I’ll tell the other agents to lowball you. You’ll be a well off, fancy woman in the boonies. Congratulations.”

A tear hit her hand.

“You didn’t even try to fight me, and you didn’t flinch. Tell me the truth. A million credits is nothing to you, isn’t it?”

Apple poured some powder into her coffee.

“Yup, but it’s a lot for you. This doesn’t happen often. I’m not totally ripping you off. Take your money and live well. The city is too rough for someone like you.”

She thought about the stars above the shipping docks.

“There’s dust storms, and asteroid belts around every satellite town, right?”

Apple poured honey into her dwindling cup. It was turning into a disgusting slurry of sugar and drugs.

“Yup, for your protection.”

She closed her eyes.

“Apple, I want to stay here. I will sell you my house for this information. What…alternative jobs are available?”

Apple reached into her pocket.

“The rumors that sound true are true. Uneducated citizens can make good money. You just have to accept riskier work. Pick one.”

Her hands were shaking.

She picked up the form.

Apple listed off each option.

“Net cleaner.”

No way.

The astronauts in ancient legends love danger, but the Net isn’t beautiful like the unclaimed spacefront was.

It’s a nanotech oxygen net, and it solidifies around debris.

Someone has to clean it.

The patrol captain will take anyone, because it’s dirty work.

Apple hiccupped.

“Cryberdog handler.”

She flinched.

A drop of sweat raced down her freckled face.

Those experimental gun dogs are lethal, and emotionless. They just snarl and train until they drop every day. They’re useful, because they guard storage bunkers, but their “owners” are expendable.

Walking next to one would drive me insane.

I can’t do it.

I can’t shove the word yes out of my mouth.

Apple finished her drug laced coffee.

“Delivery ship driver. I’m feeling great. Just took some wonder and nostalgia. If you don’t pick this one I don’t know what to tell you. You’re too picky and you should give up maybe…yeah.”

That’s even more dangerous.

The other nations don’t respect humans. They like our craftsmanship skills, and they do buy our goods, but we’re too small. Fifty million isn’t a big number, and most of us are mixed.

They treat the Nest like a trading post, not a city.

Delivery drivers get taken hostage constantly, because our enemies know we’re small.

We need every capable human available.

So, the engineers automated the ships.

Now they just need supervisors, that aren’t as valuable.

It's cruel, but I would basically be bait.

That's why the wages are so ridiculously high.

I can't live like that.

The stress would kill me.

Net cleaner is the best option, but I’m weak. That job is all physical work.

The melting joy shake was tempting.

“Any…other options? I have o-negative blood. Can I sell it?”

Apple straightened in her seat.

“Liar. The universal blood type is extinct.”

She laughed awkwardly.

“It was verified by a doctor. I sold my blood to pay for a vacation before. Do you know any labs that need real human blood?”

Apple leaned on the table, and knocked over the pink milkshake. Sprinkles, white chocolate curls, and rainbow syrup splattered everywhere.

“Yes! Yes I do! I’m gonna make so much money today! Take this address and go…here…I’ll send the credits to your account. The address has been sent to your phone. Participation is voluntary. Say no and they’ll send you to a lovely orchard. No pressure. The name is Yu…facility. No that’s the owner. Are you really over ninety percent human?”

She couldn’t stop staring at Apples murky eyes.

They were lifeless.

“Ninety…nine. The doctor wasn’t allowed to say one hundred, because it’s so statistically unlikely. There’s no other bloodline in me, as far as I know.”

Apple whistled.

“You’re set, then. I mean you are if you agree. But, I mean…it’s still a sacrifice. You’ll be working just to stay in this city. You can run away with the money, Rachel. I think you should.”

She raised her chin defiantly.

“I don’t have to listen to you, you drunk scumbag. I’ll take the job. It’s just blood. I don’t care if I lose some every week or so.”

The job probably doesn’t pay much, but I don’t care. A million credits will get me an apartment.

Apple waved her hand.

“He doesn’t want that. He wants your…human…ness. Your human parts. Lots of ladies are infertile. Three thousand years without Mother Earth is a long time. We ate, and fucked, tons of different things to survive. There were awful side effects. At least our lifespans went way up. We have time to fix the population problem.”

A lightbulb turned on in Rachel’s head.

“Egg donation? Is that what you’re implying? That sounds easy enough. Thank you, sincerely. I will run if they try to scam me like you did, I promise.”

An automated worker cleaned up the milkshake. Her black and white protective suit made her look like an android.

An android with an organic centre.

Rachel shivered.

Apple ordered another poisonous coffee.

The same automated worker escorted her to the door.

She looked at the address, and called a taxi.

Chapter Text

The door sealed, and she curled up in the overly spacious backseat. She didn’t have to sheepishly greet anyone. The driver was behind an opaque glass barrier.

A light flashed.

--Go?--

The word was blinking on a hologram in her lap.

She touched it.

The car lifted off smoothly. Ten cafes whizzed by her spotless round passenger window.

Damn.

Affordable, “low class” cab services make you interact with the driver.

The fee for a ride in this tin can is probably out of my price range, but I have to go deeper into the city.

Everything in this area is so tall, and we’re going uphill.

The skyscrapers were getting bigger. Flickering lights turned into lush parks, and sliver stadiums. Flags were whipping around in the air, below the flying transport ships and cars.

An old public service safety announcement echoed dully in her mind.

Don’t fly above a flag. You don’t want to hit a snag.

“Heh.”

That song was annoying.

They should just tell the truth.

If you fool around above the flight line you’ll get run over.

Be blunt, then the kids on hoverboards will listen.

She groaned.

We’re going too fast.

The altitude shift is making me queasy.

Have mercy, mystery driver.

I’m used to public transit.

She hugged her stomach.

They zoomed by a satellite city dropoff dock. Automated workers and cyborg managers were unloading and organizing delectable looking fruits.

The menial labor was never-ending. She couldn’t hear it, but she knew their metal boots were clicking in unison.

When one box was finished, another one dropped down.

The dock was huge.

Something like shame, mixed with a drop of fear, inched down her throat.

That’s my future.

She breathed in and looked away.

It’s not over yet.

I don’t have to give up, so I can’t chicken out now.

Apple is incredibly shady, but I don’t think she’s sending me to an organ scalper.

She would get fired if I died.

This is my chance.

I’ve already got some money.

Her mouth twisted bitterly.

Goodbye childhood home.

The leather seat was too comfortable. Her strength was draining away.

Now I just need a stable job.

A job that needs me, not my body in an autopilot suit.

I’m worth more than that.

I know I am.

She touched the back of her neck, and shivered.

Cerebral plug scars freak me out.

I don’t…want one.

I can’t afford to be picky.

If someone actually offers me a job I should take it no matter what.

Her eyes flicked over to the drivers vague shadow. The stars were next to her, and the sliver buildings outside were shining.

This is pretty nice.

It's like I’m in my very own personal, private ship.

Chatting with drivers is always agonizing, but this is weird.

I’m used to dealing with inconvenient things, and rude comments.

She was getting sleepy.

A complimentary bottle of flavored vitamin water slid out of a hidden compartment. The rectangular cup holder tipped up and offered her the drink.

She swallowed most of the liquid in one go. It tasted better than fresh strawberries.

She pressed the “thank you smile” button. A cartoonish smiling face popped up on the screen in front of her seat.

--Type a message here if you need assistance--

She crossed her arms, and coughed.

“When will we be arriving?”

She typed and spoke at the same time. Her voice was clear and slow.

The machine buzzed.

--2 hours remaining--

--Would you like to hear music?--

She leaned back.

Her head hit the plushy seat.

“Ah, fuck. This ride is going to cost at least a hundred, isn’t it?”

It spat out an automated answer.

--Estimated total: $161.70--

She covered her eyes like she was watching a scary movie.

“Ugh…that’s even worse.”

Her lips felt dry.

“No thanks. No music. Please wake me when we get there.”

What if this facility tries to scam me too?

I’m…alone.

If I try to sue anyone I’ll lose the rest of my money.

She couldn’t relax, so proper sleep didn’t come. The black leather seat turned grey. Her mothers neck scar appeared, in the air, like a shard of a ghost. The metal lining inside it was leaking.

Seeing that for the first time had killed her appetite. The gaping, oily wound was unforgettable.

“Oh, dear…I should book an appointment and go see a mechanic.”

Her voice was so real.

Then she woke up.

The cupholder machine offered her another vitamin water.

“I want two.”

She paid her bill.

I didn’t eat anything in that creepy café, and my stomach is empty.

The polite thing offered her two. She cracked open the peach one, and shoved the blueberry one under her arm.

The screen grinned at her, and the sealed side door unlatched.

--Rate us!--

--Leave a review and win a prize!--

She left before the smiling icon could explain the prize raffle rules. Her shoe hit a puddle and water kicked up. A white wishing fountain was leaking.

She wandered into a quiet plaza.

The lights in the shops were dark.

A cheerful warning sign was blinking next to the fountain.

--The maintenance crew will fix this issue in

9:50, 9:49, 9:48…--

The timer was ticking down.

Being a maintenance worker must be hard too.

The signs time everything they do.

She shuffled up to the safety barrier around the broken fountain. The circle of spraying water in the middle was jerking erratically.

I bet this thing looks amazing when it’s working.

Everything here is so clean, and this fountain makes my community pool look like a cup.

She patted her pockets.

I don’t have any change.

The sound of rushing water calmed her.

A spark caught her eye.

She walked over to the coin on the ground. A spear was shimmering on the surface.

She picked it up, and smiled.

It was a real, natural expression. A smile that came to her lips only when she was alone.

She trotted over to the fountain.

I used to love these.

The coin smashed through the broken waterfall.

She clapped her hands together.

I wish I had a job.

I mean I want a job.

I mean…I don’t want to wear an autopilot suit.

Ever.

Other people don’t understand.

They don’t get it.

So I have to share this wish with you.

Her arms dropped.

I need therapy.

Sometimes I think there’s something wrong with me.

She stared at the stars until her heartbeat slowed down.

CLANK.

Her startled heart jumped out of her ear and fell into the fountain.

She wanted to stare, and record what was happening.

I shouldn’t stare.

She pretended to be an unaffected, affluent local.

The long grey and sliver uniforms were unmistakable. 

Three Wolhaiksong core soldiers sauntered into the plaza.

Sweat gathered under her chin.

I haven’t done anything wrong, ever.

I’m not a criminal, and I’m not a country bumpkin.

I’m not going to stare at them.

She really wanted to.

I’m not even curious, I’m really not, but when I was a kid I definitely wanted to meet them.

All of us did.

Who wouldn’t want to meet the heroes that beat up space pirates?

I wanted to shake a star curser captain’s hand.

I wrote a letter, but no one came to my school.

The water in the fountain showed her their wobbly reflections. All three of them had silvery blue hair. The shortest one was holding a spear that looked a lot like the weapon on her wish coin.

A high ranker?

Two of the men chuckled.

“Did…see that? Picked up your…off the ground.”

She blushed, and clasped her shaking hands together.

They’re talking about me.

The soldier with the weapon had the loudest, most obnoxious voice.

“Looks like a tourist. She’s not from this area. I knew I dropped some of my lunch money. Quit cackling. Making fun of the less fortunate is unbecoming. Your behavior is the cores reputation. Shut up already.”

The other two did not stop.

Her ears were on fire.

“Whatever, Khun.”

Her hands balled into fists.

So that’s why they say never meet your heroes.

What a bunch of snobs.

I guess everybody in the Nest is the same.

They think they’re better than everyone else, and I believe it too.

I’m not stupid enough to badmouth someone with a plasma spear.

Today sucks.

She jogged into an alley, and slumped against a wall.

It’s getting late.

I have to find this stupid facility.

Her toes were turning into tiny lead bricks.

I can afford a hotel room, but staying in one would be a waste of money.

If I don’t get this job I’ll need every penny. Updating an old satellite town house won’t be cheap.

The streets were brightly lit, and she could smell herbs. Every miniature garden along the street was aromatic and calming.

She stopped in her tracks.

Everyone has a purpose.

The cheesy billboard raised every individual hair on her neck.

A soldier in a helmet was cordially waving at an automated worker.

The art on the sign was a lie.

That would never happen.

Even kids don’t talk to automated workers when they’re on duty.

There’s no point.

I think Yura was right.

The people that live up here don’t know anything.

Or, they don’t care.

Buying a sign is easier than interacting with peasants.

I wonder how she’s doing?

She moved up in life, and I’m still looking for work.

Pathetic.

I’m an unemployed dropout, and she’s a singer.

I can’t see her, or speak to her, until I fix my life.

Looking at her would make my mental state worse.

That’s why I haven’t called.

She stopped walking.

Why am I lying to myself?

I stopped talking to her because I’m ashamed.

She almost tripped into a neatly trimmed hedge. Her arms wheeled and she saved herself.

“Whew…hey…finally this is the right street.”

She perked up, and her feet moved faster. The herbal scent in the air grew stronger.

“There it is. Perfect timing too.”

The streets were pitch black. Only safety lights were illuminating the path ahead. The white dots looked like distant stars.

Vines had crawled over the sign in front of the building. She pulled the thorny rope, but it refused to break.

She squinted, and read the first word.

Cryogen…Fac….

Ok, this must be a cryogen medical facility.

Maybe they’ll buy my blood and use it to make pills.

Doctors have asked for it before.

She dusted off her pants, and walked up to the door.

The greeter screen was blank.

It buzzed when she touched it.

Looks like they’re still open.

She stared at the black, fuzzy camera.

An enormous red eye opened. Then it blinked slowly, like it was drowsy. The slit pupil in the middle looked like madness incarnate.

She stuttered like a gutless scammer on trial.

“H-h-hello. Apple told me about your facility. I can come back tomorrow. My name is Rachel, and…I’m mostly human.”

The eye blinked.

“You can come in now. I don’t sleep. I’ll wake him up.”

The harsh red eye vanished.

Am I sleep deprived?

Was that a third eye?

Don’t you have to pass every physical test imaginable to get one?

I already saw a spear today.

What neighborhood is this?

Why are there so many soldiers here?

The double doors cracked open. A shadowy, muscular arm turned on the lights.

The towering security guard was tan, and massive. Her lovely pale braid was interlaced with sliver metal chains and onyx gems. The dark stones made her solid scarlet eye look even more intimidating.

It’s real.

That’s an actual third eye.

That little device makes her body tougher than the spear I saw.

I never thought I’d meet an augmented cyber soldier. I’ve only read about them.

That spear guy suddenly isn’t very impressive.

She rubbed her eyes.

Am I dreaming?

Is this a nightmare?

Am I actually on wedlax in a dead end satellite town right now?

I must be imagining this.

She pinched the soft skin under her arm, and winced.

Oh no I’m really here.

The muscular tower stepped out to greet her.

“I’m Evankhell. Did you get lost? Apple should have brought you here, with blood verification papers. Do you have those?”

She looked at the marble tiles underneath Evankhell’s steel boots.

“Uh…no…but my family doctor asked for my blood. She used it to help at least a dozen people. She thanked me. I know I’m very human.”

Evankhell hummed.

“Ok, he’ll call your family doctor to confirm your percentage then. Thank you for coming. This is a very cushy job, but we don’t get many applicants. People are too soft nowadays. This is a small colony. None of us are safe. A little extra risk in exchange for a lot of money should be enticing. Did you bring anyone else with you?”

Her posture crumpled.

“I…I don’t know anyone else like me.”

Evankhell guided her inside.

The slick, polished interior gave her a headache. Hypnotic, sparkling metal arches were ringed around the round hallways. Gates sealed off the path behind them as they walked.

A gate closed every time they turned.

“Wow…uh…security is really tight here.”

Evankhell preened proudly. Her double breasted olive coat swished when she turned. The grey piping along the edges was infused with more precious silver.

“It sure is. You don’t have to worry about a thing. Do you want to get changed now?”

She jumped.

“What?”

Evankhell pointed at a deceptively normal looking rectangular door.

The inoffensive sign on it wasn’t anything special.

Office.

An office for what?

Evankhell stopped next to the door.

This is insane.

I’m half her size.

I’m staring at her belt buckle.

I’ve seen lots of big demi humans, but she’s something else.

Was her mother an actual monster?

Evankhell couldn’t hear her rude thoughts, so she started bragging.

“We need your blood percentage, but that’s a formality. There’s pretty expensive scanners in the front hall. You already passed the test. Surprise. We don’t mess around here. Liars get booted out the second they walk past those cameras. You’re at least eighty percent human. That’s all we need to know. The uniforms are really comfortable, by the way. You can open the door. There’s no code on it.”

She nervously turned the knob.

“Thanks…Ev…”

Her long legs carried her out of the waiting room before her sentence could start.

The office was even more boring than the hallway. She sat down in a padded chair that was too high for her. Her stubby legs were dangling in the air.

An invisible side door opened.

She almost screamed.

“Sorry, sorry forgive me but it’s late. I’m here in my pajamas because I didn’t want to keep you waiting. I’m Hansung. I own this place…but did Apple tell you about our very important investor?”

She raised one hand.

“Slow…slow down…”

The heartbreakingly beautiful man wasn’t giving her enough time to breathe, or think.

“She didn’t say much. She looked at my records. I have sold my blood before.”

Hansung coiled his long hair into a messy bun. He rushed over to his desk and snapped a holo chart around his wrist.

“Name?”

“Its Rachel.”

“Criminal history?”

“None.”

“Blood percentage?”

She hesitated.

“I don’t actually know.”

Hansung stepped closer.

His blond hair made her feel dirty.

I wanted to dye my hair that color, but I hate spending money.

His lively yellow eyes moved up and down. He was surprisingly skinny under his pajama robe. A pair of fuzzy slippers peeked out when he moved.

“Ancient humans did not have gold eyes, but there’s no Alurian in you. It’s easy it see. Everybody has that glow, or a perfected face nowadays. Or scales or a tail. You don’t have any extra appendages. That’s good.”

Anger unfurled inside her chest.

I get it.

I’m too ugly to be part Alurian.

You don’t have to be so blunt about my average, traditional human features.

“We’re so popular with the Alurians…and well… they’re alluring. Finding human specimens keeps getting harder and harder. You are delightfully plain. I’m certain that we can use your genes and mold them with ease. This is so exciting. Can I look inside you? There’s an x-ray machine over here.”

She followed him into a windowless room.

Her pulse was hammering.

She sighed, and crawled onto an operating table.

I want to run, but if I do I'll never forgive myself.

Hansung dragged an observer over her body.

“Ooh? Wow I like that…”

It’s like I’m a sweater on sale.

I wonder what I’m worth.

Hansung switched the blacklights off and her eyeballs protested. Pink blotches and spots floated around her head like a tornado.

Hansung pulled her arm.

“Let's go sign your employment contract!”

He was slimmer and stronger than her. She skidded behind him like a sled.

“Really?! I mean thank you. I really appreciate the opportunity...ack!”

Hansung pushed an extra chair up to his desk. Then he handed her a formal ink pen.

“Please use your state verified bank signature. Your bi-weekly payments will be wired to your current account. Don’t panic when Urek visits. He truly cares about people, so he shows up unannounced sometimes.”

The pink splotches turned purple.

“Did you say Urek? His parents must be real patriots. Isn’t naming your kid after him illegal…”

Hansung snatched the pen away, and tapped it against his hand.

He looked furious.

“Apple. Apple. Apple. I don’t know that name. Maybe she’s an idiot. Rachel, powerful soldiers are mixed with a lot of things. Most of the Wolhaiksong core soldiers aren’t human anymore. The upper brass have been born anew as cyber soldiers. Most of our illustrious leaders are infertile. So, we need vials of your DNA and such. Did Apple explain this to you?”

Her lungs stopped pumping.

“No. She was on drugs when she gave me this address.”

Hansung rested his head in his hands.

“I don’t want to lose this opportunity. This is…not what I expected. You’re desperate, aren’t you? You’re not here because you believe core soldiers deserve to have families. That’s why Urek cuts blank checks for us. I’m sure you’ve noticed. Our lifespans are longer. Hell, you’ll live to be two hundred. Even a body as weak as yours can be preserved. But, nobody is having kids. Human beings are emotional, and lots of us want that connection. Some of the less savory soldiers want to continue their bloodline so they can keep hoarding power, but that doesn’t matter. They can pay. The elites that protect you and me can afford a custom child.”

Her pulse was about to halt and send her into cardiac arrest.

“B…but…that means…”

Hansung waited impatiently.

“Spit it out. Show me how brainy you are. Let's see if you can figure this out on your own.”

She looked at his pale hands.

“That means I will…be in danger.”

Hansung seemed pleased.

“Correct. Political battles are gory around here. You will be a closely guarded secret. You are never going to meet the other girls. There are thirty apartments in this building. You can have one, for free, while you work here. We will be taking your blood, stem cells, eggs, tissue samples and other things. You’re getting paid off for a reason. If you manage to stay quiet for a year, you’re set for life. If you stick around for about ten years, you’ll be rich. Rachel, the only rule is don’t be an idiot. These politicians and warriors have more money than sense. You cannot bribe them. You cannot seduce them. You are an ant. A blood sample bag. You’re a tragically necessary third party that will be slammed between a couple that is desperate to continue their noble family line. Most of our clients won’t even want to see your face. They want to pretend they don’t need help. Do not try to find names. You know nothing. You want to know nothing. Enjoy your apartment, and the money. That is your job. What do you think? Should I keep going?

She nodded.

“I need this. I can’t go…I don’t want to be an automated worker.”

Hansung gave her the pen.

“Fantastic. The apartment is fully furnished. Use the gym at least once a week. You can remodel the place every month if you want, but you’re not allowed to talk to the workers. I’m glad that you came. You’re about ninety five percent human. You have a beautiful pancreas. You even have a gall bladder. You’re a rare find. Your eyes are your only flaw. I would have been so disappointed if you left. Ah, right. The secrets you learn here don’t expire. After you retire you’re not allowed to blab. Do you get it?”

Her neck felt stiff.

She grabbed it and made her head move by force.

The tip of the pen twitched.

Hansung opened a tube and shoved her signed form inside.

“Alright. This will be transported to an undisclosed bank vault tomorrow. Paper contracts are special, Rachel. You can’t back out now. Ahem. Obviously no drinking or drugs. Jog regularly and eat your vegetables. The chef can do amazing things with broccoli. Eating healthy will be a breeze.”

She interrupted.

“I don’t drink and I’ve never used drugs.”

Hansung’s eyes softened.

He almost looked proud.

“I know! Our air scanners checked your breath. I mean in the future. You’re about to be very bored and wealthy. Remember, while you live here you’re selling your body. I know it sounds perverted but it’s the truth. No one has died under my care and I intend to keep my record clean. No drugs. Not even wedlax. Not even if you’re dying of boredom.”

She thought about the unfamiliar neighborhood outside.

It had piqued her curiosity.

“Do I have to stay in the apartment all the time?”

Hansung gasped.

“Heavens! No of course not, but we need to hire a bodyguard for you. I care about my business, so I don’t take greenhorns. Urek sends experienced cyborg level soldiers at the end of each month. Some of them are satisfied former clients. Very trustworthy. You get to pick yours.”

A surge of relief colored her cheeks.

“I do?”

Hansung took her to an elevator.

His slippers slapped the floor with every step.

“Yes. Cyborgs are just people with a metal limb or two. They’re not scary. Cyber soldiers like Evankhell are tougher to handle. You’ll see. Those guys are kittens and she’s a lion. There’s no reason to be afraid. Interview them and pick a potential friend. I’m not trying to make you miserable, Rachel. I just want what’s under your skin.”

That made her quiver.

She changed the topic.

“I don’t have any clothes.”

Hansung pointed at her device.

“Order whatever you want online. It will be checked at the door and you can pick it up in the front hall. Two uniforms are in your apartment. Two short shirts and shorts. You need to wear them while I’m doing bloodwork. Wear them as pajamas for now. If you see anyone else in the halls don’t get too friendly. Don’t be surprised when they walk the other way. You’re all here to work.”

Her metal apartment door smelled like new paint.

“I understand.”

Hansung looked at his wrist screen.

His brow furrowed.

“I sent your picture. He has decided to drop off the potential guards tomorrow, for some reason. That’s strange. Don’t look at me with those wide eyes. Go to sleep. The bags under them are…never mind. I’m sure your health with improve after a month or so. I appreciate your cooperation, Rachel. The colony is thankful for your service.”

She had to bite back a sneer.

Nobody is going to thank me.

I’m a secret now, and you’ve been threatening me for an hour straight.

She dashed through the cavernous apartment and immediately turned on the shower.

The blistering hot water soothed her aching head.

She peeled off her soaked shirt.

This could have gone worse.

I’m not going to be an automated worker.

I found a job.

I did it.

She dunked her head under.

Hansung has cold hands.

His customer service smile didn’t fool me.

It’s so fake.

I hope my bodyguard is friendlier than him.

Chapter Text

I’m not confident enough to turn on the lights.

She left her test centre uniform on the ground and found a towel. The bathroom wasn’t completely dark. It was much fancier than the one in her home. Little neon lights were hidden everywhere. Health tracking sensors had been implanted in the walls.

The screens were all green.

I didn’t know I was so healthy.

She pinched the loose fat on her stomach gently. Her fingers traced over the large beauty mark on her hip.

I’m doughy. I’ve been a bit bigger than everyone else since I was a kid.

She groped the counter until she found a towel. Her wet hair dried quickly. Loose strands fell out as she rubbed it. The damp tips brushed against her shoulders and tickled her skin. She stopped and stretched.

The shadowy blob in the mirror didn’t look happy.

She tried to smile, but she couldn’t stop overthinking. A sense of wrongness was poisoning her soul. She didn’t feel victorious, or relaxed. That fleeting high had faded.

Her future was still uncertain.

The sensor next to the mirror told her that her pulse was too fast. A cheery automated message lit up and scrolled onto the mirror.

--Drink water. If symptoms persist please call an Autobot. Call your bot by pressing this panel--

The orange panel blinked at her.

She ignored it.

I failed the most basic physical tests.

I was disqualified before I turned fifteen. I wasn’t allowed to join any sports teams, because my bones are too fragile.

This world…doesn’t need humans like me. I’m obsolete. When the people like me finally die out science will find a way to fix the fertility problem.

I’ll become a chapter in a history file.

Her eyelids felt heavy.

She wiped her eyes and yawned.

I remember watching the kids with mixed blood from the sidelines.

The most promising young soldiers could crush bricks and climb up walls without help.

Those were kids.

I can’t even imagine how strong Evankhell is.

Aren’t cyber soldiers really rare?

Her presence is a bad sign.

I’ve only seen them in military parades, on tv.

They’re basically royalty. Why is one of them working here? Cyber soldiers are valuable. They protect us, and they’re in charge of a bunch of administrative stuff that I don’t understand. They negotiate with foreign ships and planets too.

It doesn’t make sense. Fertility facilities are everywhere, but this one is different. Hansung wants people with human blood. I’m not a useless liability here. He treated me like I’m special.

I know I’m not, but that’s what it felt like.

The bathroom door slid open. It clicked shut automatically when she stepped out.

The money by itself is tempting, and this apartment is huge.

Hanging lights were dripping down. The domed ceiling above the living room was made of frosted glass.

Her stomach clenched.

This does feel like a bribe.

The kitchen was an overblown, organized chrome and stone mess. Expensive tools and toys were waiting in glass cabinets. The oven was more advanced than the computer she had wasted a month of government allowance on. She touched the smooth stone counter, and goosebumps bloomed on her bare arms.

I’m naked in a strange place. I willingly rolled onto an operating table and I told a stranger that I’m willing to sell my body.

He could be a liar.

This job is too cushy.

I’m suspicious.

I could die tomorrow.

Her brain stopped functioning when she saw the bed. The massive mattress dominated the master bedroom. Her new uniform was waiting on her pillow.

She turned on a side lamp, and picked up the neatly folded shirt. The fabric had been pressed and ironed. It smelled like cotton, but it wasn’t too thin.

It was white, like the marshmallow soft bedroom walls. She poked the wall and her curious finger left an indent mark that slowly healed. The wall was smooth again after ten seconds.

The bedroom is cushy, just like this job.

She chuckled awkwardly even though the wordplay joke wasn’t very funny.

Her eyes narrowed.

“Huh?”

This isn’t a shirt.

It’s half a shirt.

I know they have to take blood and other things, but I’m not an exhibitionist. I can’t greet my new bodyguard in this.

She slipped on the matching pair of short shorts and groaned. The bright silver lamp light didn’t miss a single detail. Her shadow still looked naked.

I look like a whore.

The creamy short sleeved shirt was soft and light. The fabric felt better than a hug.

It’s not tight.

I like that, but these shorts look like underwear.

She yanked the shirt off and looked at the second option.

It was the exact same shirt, with long sleeves. Both sets of shorts were the exact same length.

“Ughhhhh.”

I want to cover my stomach. Not my arms. I have to buy clothes as soon as possible.

She hesitantly pulled the sheets back, and touched the most luxurious bed in the universe.

Her rationality flew out the window. She jumped in and raised her arms.

Her legs splayed out.

She looked like a starfish under the sheets.

I’ll worry about clothes later.

First, I have to find a decent partner.

I think I should pick a woman, because I don’t want a man to see me in this uniform everyday.

Hansung said the chef system makes really tasty, healthy food.

I should try to lose weight.

Maybe…I’ll make a friend. I’ve been studying for too long. I don’t have any left.

Failure isn’t attractive.

The successful people around me gradually left. I miss those fairweather friends sometimes.

It was a slow, painful process and now it’s over.

I have to accept that.

This is my last chance.

I need money to live.

Her eyes watered.

I don’t want to die on shift of natural causes in a suit like Mom did.

If I do die, I don’t think I’ll care.

At least I’m trying to avoid that mediocre fate.

The bed was stealing her thoughts. She couldn’t think straight. The pile of pillows was about to swallow her head.

I want to marry this bed.

She purred like a cat on catnip, and went limp.

.

“Rachel? Hellloooo? Rachel you have to get up.”

Someone was poking her.

“Ack! Ah!”

She had to scream twice, because there were two figures next to her bed.

“Oh…it’s just an Autobot…and…Hansung? It’s early why are you in my room?”

The single glass eye on the bots metal face was dull. It didn’t respond.

Her blurry eyes finally focused.

There’s a red cross on it.

That’s a medical Autobot. What a surprise. They’re pricy.

This facility is too fancy.

She cowered under the covers.

It’s too good to be true.

Hansung smirked.

“Your room? You must like it here if you’re talking like that already. I was going to send the Autobot in at ten, because you seemed exhausted. But, bad news. Urek is coming right now with the cyborgs. I’m about to rip my hair out. Honestly, I can’t believe it. He’s acting so unprofessional. He didn’t even send me any files. You’ll have to go into the interview blind. Where do you want to do it?”

The morning sun was burning her retinas.

“…the kitchen?”

Hansung patted her shoulder and pulled it insistently.

“Great idea. Get up. Get up already! This lovely bot here is assigned to your room. It will be taking your daily blood samples every day at ten sharp. Hospitals always need white blood cells, and yours looked great. The directors will gladly pay for samples from you. Give me your arm.”

She reached out.

Hansung pushed the long sleeve down.

“Stick it in.”

The helpful Autobot carefully planted a thin needle in her arm. It swiftly and painlessly took two samples. Then, it placed the red vials in its chest compartment.

It beeped after a minute.

Hansung opened the chamber and picked up the vials. The chamber had labelled and examined both samples.

Hansung hummed.

“Well. Look at this.”

She squinted and read the tiny label.

“Human…and Martian? Wait that doesn’t make sense. The Martians are human too. They can just handle heat better than the humans in this colony, because they settled closer to the sun.”

Hansung grabbed her face.

“Yellowish eyes. Hmm…it’s true. Some Martians have yellow or gold eyes. I’m a lucky man. You’re technically one hundred percent human. I do hope you will choose to renew your employment contract with us when it expires. It’s not like there’s a better option waiting for you. Your doctor should be reported for negligence. You were doomed from the start. Someone like you can’t pass any of the standard employment tests. It’s physically impossible. You wasted your time, and the government’s money, in the education system. She should have sent you here when you turned eighteen.”

She wiggled her head out of his hands.

“Maybe…she wanted to give me a chance.”

Hansung looked perplexed.

“A chance for what? You could have died. Human brains can’t calculate well. Have you ever tried to pilot a ship? Don’t. You would probably crash it. Why are you looking at me like that? Do you want to walk out and work in a suit?”

She flinched.

“No…why are you being so cruel?”

Hansung folded his arms.

“I’m stressed out. That’s all. You’re a very privileged young lady, Rachel. You shouldn’t be whimpering. If I was born with your blood I would celebrate. Your veins are a gold mine. I’ll be more fun to hang around later, I promise. I really don’t know why Urek is rushing today. You can refuse the cyborgs he brings if they aren’t good enough. I want you to like it here, and he didn’t give me any files or photos. If they’re all duds kick em out.”

He jerked his thumb like rejecting a dozen accomplished soldiers was easier than dumping out coffee.

She got out of bed and stood on shaky legs.

“Won’t…they get offended if I reject all of them?”

Hansung shrugged.

“Who cares? Urek is being disrespectful. Choosing the right bodyguard is really fucking important. Excuse my language. You have to like them and you have to trust them. Evankhell can’t escort you every time you leave the building. We need trustworthy escorts. I literally want you to reject them all if they aren’t perfect.”

His pale eyes were furious. His silky hair bun bobbed as they walked to the kitchen.

She had to nod.

“Thank…you?”

His long robe swished. He tightened the orange band around his waist and reached into his lab coat pocket.

“Here.”

A plastic button landed in her open palm.

“What is this?”

Hansung closed her hand.

“Hide that. It’s a panic button. I love my wife, but cyber soldiers are fucking scary. They only feel attached to people they used to know before their operation. The world is black and white for them. You’re either humanities enemy, or an upstanding citizen. There is no in between, unless you manage to get close to a cyber soldier candidate before they graduate. Sometimes…when Evankhell looks at people that aren’t me…nevermind. I’ll send a message to your pocket when the cyborgs arrive. Then I’ll talk to Urek. I’ll make sure he doesn’t come up here. If he does press that button. I don’t want you to be alone with him.”

She swallowed spit that tasted like salt.

“You’ve been using the name Urek a lot. I didn’t want to believe it…but are you talking about the Wolhaiksong core leader?”

Hansung opened her apartment door.

“Yup. Stay in here.”

She hid the button in her sleeve, and sat on a perilously high kitchen barstool.

I’m not dead, but I could die.

Urek is loved by all.

He could kill anyone and get away with it.

That’s a joke I hear all the time.

It’s not very funny.

It's not a joke if people don’t laugh.

“I will.”

She hid her shamefully bare legs behind the bar. The long sleeved shirt and the table effectively covered her exposed body.

She breathed in until her heartbeat slowed down. The Autobot rolled up to her.

--Would you like a protein cookie?--

She smiled gratefully.

“Yes, please.”

The bot ambled over to the oversized black fridge.

--When you want one press this button and pick a flavor.--

She hopped out of her seat to press the button herself.

This list is too long. Walnut cranberry sounds good, but I’ll just pick chocolate chip.

The Autobot waited for her decision.

She pressed the screen on the fridge.

A palm sized, thick cookie popped out of the side. A small square door closed when she picked up the plate.

“Wow. The chef system here is amazing.”

--Thank you.--

She ate greedily, because walking all day yesterday had drained her energy.

I’ll eat a real meal later.

I don’t feel woozy anymore.

That’s good enough.

“I’m ready. Go wait by the door and open it when someone knocks. How many people will I be interviewing?"

The bot fetched an answer from Hansung.

--One.--

She ate the last chocolate chunk.

“That’s a relief. I thought this was going to be a group interview. One at a time is better.”

She folded her hands primly on the table.

The Autobot was silent.

“Um…tell me when someone is coming.”

--Yes--

Should I try the cranberry cookie too?

I think I’ve got time.

Hansung chased me out of bed, but nobody is here yet.

This kitchen is so big and empty.

It’s a little lonely.

She trotted back over to the fridge and ordered another cookie.

I should think positive thoughts.

The cyborg I pick has to like me. We’re going to be spending a ton of time together.

I’ll pick someone that’s easy to talk to.

She grinned and thoroughly enjoyed the candied walnuts and cranberries.

--Someone is knocking--

The rising sun was giving her a headache. She fidgeted and left half of the cookie uneaten.

“Open it and tell them I’m in the kitchen.”

She couldn’t hear any footsteps. Just the Autobot’s whirring wheels. She wiped her lips and crumbs smeared on her hand.

A piece of dried cranberry was stuck in her teeth. Her tongue prodded the sticky mass, but it was stubborn.

I can’t stand up and get water.

I don’t want anyone to see this awful outfit. Medical bots don't care, but a cyborg is just a person with metal add ons.

These shorts are embarrassing.

A long shadow crossed over the table, and she choked.

Her unattractive wheezing didn’t faze him.

He greeted her like she wasn’t coughing loudly.

“Hello, Rachel.”

Isn’t he going to introduce himself?

He brought a cup of water instead.

“Oh…thank you.”

The tall man walked around the table and sat on a barstool next to her.

He didn’t give me his name.

What do I say?

Why is he right next to me?

“Can you show me your ID card?”

He touched his gold cuff link. An inoffensive, normal looking card popped out.

“Here.”

She took the card out of his sleeve.

Problem solved. I managed to avoid an awkward question.

“Viole Grace. Hello Mr…cyber soldier? It really says cyber soldier. Why are you here? What is happening right now? Are you really a cyber soldier?”

He looked at the floor.

“Yes. I didn’t tell you where I was going. I’m sorry. How are you?”

Is his brain malfunctioning?

She took him in.

The confusing young man was in her personal space. He seemed polite, but something was off.

His uniform was grey and gold. The gold sections were metallic. She could see ammunition pockets in his pants. The jagged metal stripes were really eye catching. His brown hair was cut short, but it was slightly shaggy.

He’s in tactical gear.

Why would he wear it for an interview?

His overcoat was more appropriate. It dropped down past his knees and hugged his lean frame well. His chest was broad, and his undershirt was conservative. The collar was high. She couldn’t see his neck. His dove grey boots were edged with more gold metal.

He can’t be a cyber soldier.

I’ve only seen one in person.

There’s only about one hundred in the whole colony.

He needs to go see a doctor.

“Hey…um…you…”

Should I press the panic button?

His posture crumbled.

“Are you mad at me?”

Why is this war machine acting like a child?

“No, I’m not but I’m confused.”

He grabbed her hand.

“I was confused too. Someone lied to me. I didn’t know you were alive.”

She wasn’t listening.

Her arm was pressed against the stone table.

She covertly activated the panic button.

I’ve never seen a malfunction this bad before. He might collapse.

Hansung get up here and fix this weirdo before he hurts himself…or me.

Installing bootleg cyborg parts in a person is a capital offense. I hope the criminal that messed him up gets punished.

She gently patted the sick man’s hand.

“Did you see any female applicants in the hall?”

You’re clearly unwell, and I’m looking for a woman.

His head cocked to the side.

“There are no other applicants.”

She slapped her wrist against the table. Her arm was getting sore.

Where is Hansung?

Why isn’t he here yet?

This poor guy could lose his memories permanently at this rate.

This is exactly why I decided against augmentation surgery.

One bogus part from the black market can ruin your life.

His voice was pleasantly cool.

“Why are you looking at me like you pity me? The academy wasn’t that horrible. I’m fine.”

She froze in place.

His eyes have been augmented too.

There were flashes of orange light lurking under his nondescript, chocolate brown eyes. The synthetic sclera parts were glimmering.

“Can you give me some space, Mr. Viole? You’re too close.”

She was about to crack.

Let go of my hand.

Please.

Please don’t crush my hand.

His sorrowful expression made her feel guilty. She forgot about her fear for half a second.

“Why are you calling me that?”

Her heart was about to implode.

---Someone is at the door.--

Her blood was pumping too fast. She was about to faint.

Hansung and the Autobot inched around the corner like they were approaching a wild animal.

She almost fell out of her chair.

Thank the stars.

Get him off of me!

Her wide eyes were begging for help.

Hansung bowed.

“Hello, sir. You both look happy. I love unexpected reunions. Can I speak to Rachel for a moment?”

He released her.

She scurried away like a petrified mouse, and hid behind her savior.

“Thank you…that man is…call a doc…”

Hansung herded her around the corner and pointed at her accusingly before she could finish.

His words were made of pure venom.

“Who. Are. You?”

Chapter Text

There was a buzzing noise in her ear.

“Are…are you using a Muffler?”

Hansung grabbed the front of her shirt. When he pulled her in closer she stumbled. The synthetic cameras behind his pupils were flashing. The lenses were purple. They looked like fiery sparks in his shrewd yellow eyes.

Her shoulders tensed.

He’s scanning me.

He actually thinks I’m hiding my true identity.

Her bodyguards shadow was right next to them. She heard his boots click, but the clingy stranger didn’t storm around the corner and save her.

She realized something.

I’m stuck with two strange men I don’t know, in a facility where women sell their bodies.

This feels like the beginning of a gory news article.

Hansung gritted his teeth, and pretended to smile.

“Don’t even try to avoid the question. Answer me right this instant.”

A device on Hansung’s wrist was blinking. The air around them was opaque, like water. Everything that wasn’t Hansung looked blurry. She watched the bulbous air pocket pulse, and tried to breathe.

Mufflers aren’t illegal, but they’re sketchy. People are only allowed to own them because privacy is a human right. That set of laws got reinstated when I was a teenager. Nobody uses muting technology unless they have something to hide. I knew this job was too good to be true.

He’s a paranoid freak at best.

At worst…I don’t even want to know what the worst case scenario is.

They were hidden behind a wall. The traitorous Autobot was beside Hansung. The wide, round lens in its head was dull.

“Hansung…boss?...”

Calling him her boss felt strange.

“I...don’t have that kind of money. Fake ID cards cost more than a house. You’ve seen my records. I’ve lived in the Nest outskirts since the day I was born.”

I’ve never been inside a Muffler before.

Her head bounced when he started shaking her shoulders. The air pocket was extremely claustrophobic.

My head hurts.

Her bodyguard was supposed to be guarding her, but he was waiting patiently beside the kitchen table.

The absurdity of the situation was making her giddy.

Hansung smacked her arm to get her attention.

“Has your memory ever been erased?”

She flinched.

“No. That would be in my record too. People act loopy when their memories get scrambled. The technology hasn’t been perfected. Right? Don’t tell me. Does the government have…”

Hansung pushed his fingers through his hair. The blond strands snared under his nails. He yanked it until he tore some gossamer thin threads out of his own skull.

“There is no secret mind wiping machine. It was just a guess, and you’re right. Your record is clean and frighteningly boring. You were born with nothing. The most valuable thing you have is your blood, or whatever organ is the rarest one on the black market at the moment. You can’t know him. It’s impossible. You’re just some random moron.”

She grimaced.

“Hey!”

Hansung pressed his pointer finger against her lips.

“You’re a moron, and our dear leader is waiting downstairs. The soldier out there is one of the special ones. Urek chose him. He trains with Urek. They fly around in space and blow up hostile armadas together. I think he’s in charge of one of the main supply docks. He has a real job. A political position. His duties are endless, but he’s here. Look at this application.”

Hansung dragged his hand over his wrist. A hologram jumped out of his sleeve.

She squinted, and read the glowing document. The wage for the position was in bold at the top.

A hundred thousand credits per year?

“It…looks normal. You actually do pay the guards pretty reasonably. I would risk my life for that kind of money.”

Hansung nodded slowly.

“Yes, you would but he wouldn’t. Don’t you get it? The salary I’m offering is utterly worthless to a cyber soldier. He’s in charge of a huge swath of the city. His coat is probably worth a hundred thousand credits. Those guys get all of their clothes lava proofed. They walk through the stuff on missions sometimes. What I’m trying to say is…we’re both in trouble. You’re not a genius scam artist. You did not hack into Viole’s brain. You’re too dumb to plan something like this to gain political power. He somehow got attached to you before the government sliced his brain open. Look at me.”

She was staring at the floor.

He pushed her chin up.

When Viole’s shadow moved her heart started pounding.

The Muffler is protecting us, but we can’t hide forever.

Her curiosity overflowed.

“Why are you in trouble?”

Hansung snickered.

It was a surprisingly childish sound.

It made her skin crawl.

“Rachel, I hired you. I’m very technically in the way. Cyber soldiers don’t like it when unimportant people get in the way. I would love to hand you to him on a silver platter, but I can’t. Your fragile human brain doesn’t remember him. Do you…can you even comprehend how much danger we’re in? Cyber soldiers are a very lonely race. They’re completely detached from humanity, and they rule over us emotionlessly. The emotionless part is the important part. We don’t have to deal with corrupt politicians or racism much anymore because cyber soldiers simply do not give a shit. Protecting the Net, the Nest, and humankind is part of their programming. The only issue is…the before part. Our shining guardians were all human and flawed once. They bring their human attachments with them. Evankhell brought me into her new life, and the guy below her is obsessed with his pet poodle. The thing lives in a mansion that makes this facility look like a dog kennel. It’s older than him too, and he pays through the nose to keep it alive. It’s hideous…I’m getting distracted. Ahem. Very few emotions and memories survive the final procedure. The ones that stick are potentially problematic. Wolhaiksong ferociously protects all of the things and people their best soldiers are fond of. You…being out here with the masses…is a disaster waiting to happen. Ugh. I need a drink.”

She tried to connect the dots, but all of the records in her memory didn’t match what he was saying.

Is this man insane?

I was a student for a long time, but we didn’t discuss government officials often. Some of my seatmates had crushes on their districts cyber soldier. They’re robotically perfect. I never paid attention to that kind of gossip, but there hasn’t been a corruption scandal in my lifetime. That perfection isn’t a lie. The professors talked about them like they are living, breathing political tools.

If they really get irrational when they like things that’s news to me.

Terrible, and dangerous news.

“That sounds like a huge programming flaw. I…assume my professors didn’t teach us about it because it’s a secret? Maybe?”

She was smiling, and Hansung was grinning, but both of their smiles were unforgivably ugly.

Her palms were sweaty.

Hansung clapped sarcastically. Cruelty dripped into his words. It oozed out of his mouth like puss. The chill under her skin turned into disgust.

“That’s right. You’re such a good guesser. Regular citizens don’t know about this, because they don’t need to. Cyber soldier candidates live in an elite bubble. I know the equality activists on screen sound convincing, but reality is different. Most of them are married to dignitaries, allies and political powerhouses. They’ve been rubbing shoulders since birth, so naturally the cyber soldiers get attached to useful people. Which is good for the economy, and trade. You are not a foreign princess, or a tech guru. You’re…a suit. If you were eighty percent human instead of ninety five I would have shoved you into a suit. I’m being honest because I have to. I’m not usually this chatty. I hope you’ve been following what I’ve been saying. You have to pretend that you know who Viole is, or he might kill me. I am the only high level bio-technologist you have ever met. He will think I scrambled your memories to get your body, then I will die. I don’t want to die.”

Hansung was looking into her eyes.

He didn’t seem afraid.

The pressure in her head increased.

She gasped.

It was easy to imagine Hansung's dead body on the floor. The image she saw was too visceral. It made her head ache more. Bits of his purple eye lenses were scattered on the clean kitchen floor.

The Muffler helpfully smothered her shriek.

I don’t think I could live with the guilt. Regular citizens like me don’t ever see real blood. Every injury is fixable, except death.

She covered her mouth, and whispered.

“How do I do it? Have you ever pretended to know someone before? I don’t want you dead either. You’re…my paycheck. I’ll help you.”

Hansung nodded, because that made sense to him.

“Good. I want to enjoy my life. My wife is rich and powerful. She bought me this facility, and now I’m fabulously wealthy too. Everything was perfect before I hired you. I’m not totally blaming you…but you suck and I wish I didn’t let you in here. So, here’s the plan. Acting isn’t that hard. I pretend to know people that think I care about them all the time. Fooling Viole won’t be that complicated. He is mostly metal now. The kid that met you does not exist anymore. Just…stay calm and let him talk to you. He’ll be overexcited around you for a while, but later on you’ll get used to it. He’ll calm down and be happier in private, which will benefit the whole colony. He’s your best friend now. No one else. Got it? You must have had one of those as a kid. Pretend he’s that person. Over time the act will get more real, until you’re really kind of close. Then both of our problems will be solved.”

She nodded even though she didn’t understand.

“I did have a best friend, but it wasn’t him. I don’t have any friends...who are men.”

I don’t have any friends at all.

Hansung interrupted.

“He’s not a guy. Don’t worry about gender roles or posturing. You’re in what’s left of his squishy brain. You can say and do whatever you want. Just don’t run.”

Her heart grew chillier after each horrifically casual sentence.

Just don’t run.

It’s sounds so easy, but that’s not a normal thing to say.

He knows I’m going to want to run, at some point.

Her hands were shaking.

Hansung just admitted that the illustrious cyber soldiers aren’t perfect.

What if this is a system error?

“Hansung…has anyone ever been caught hacking a cyber soldier?”

He tapped his sleeve and brought up another document.

“Yes. She died. Some third princess or something from somewhere came back to the colony with a cyber soldier. She couldn’t keep up the act forever. The best hacker in the galaxy can’t beat the security here indefinitely. She was just slightly too suspicious. Her elder sister was better in every way, and she was friends with the soldier in question too. The evidence didn’t add up. She said she did it because she wanted to be with him, but that was a lie. Third place in an interbred royal family wasn’t good enough for her. She was an average, greedy bitch. Wolhaiksong burned a lot of credits to cover up the incident. Here’s some general information about Viole.”

She didn’t read the glowing words.

“What if he turns around one day and realizes that he doesn’t know me?”

Hansung lowered his arm.

“I know honesty is the best policy in these kinds of situations. Hmm…fine. The whiny prison rights activists are right. The Wolhaiksong core does wipe memories sometimes. The machine isn't stable, but it's better than the death penalty. You won’t be killed. You’re not at fault. There’s no real risk for you if you play along. You get to be one of the most elite humans in the Net. Isn’t that better than the career you were struggling towards in class?”

If I play along.

The shadow in the kitchen was still.

If I don't will I get punished?

“Why hasn’t he come over here yet? We’ve been hiding for a while.”

Hansung fixed the minute, flyaway flaws in his hair.

“He probably thinks we’re talking about the hiring process, or the work you want him to do for you. Cyber soldiers are overly patient. We can make him stand there all day if you want to. I kind of want to see that.”

She shuddered.

“No thanks. Can you turn off this bubble now? My head…”

Hansung flicked through his screen, and ignored her.

“No, you haven’t reviewed any documents yet. Viole has been in charge of Dock A for the past three years. He-”

Heat was gathering inside her forehead. Her headache was about to turn into a fever. Her pounding heart sped up until she could hear it in her mouth.

A blurry figure was standing behind Hansung.

Steam erupted from his wrist. The white puff of smoke hit his face and he sneezed. His screen fizzled out of existence.

“Fuck!”

The bubble popped.

Viole waltzed into her personal space and took her hand. Her skin felt fuzzy. The Muffler induced headache was still in her.

She groaned when he didn’t let go.

The bubble wasn’t making everything blurry. My eyes were getting tired.

A blue ring appeared on Viole’s palm.

She leaned away when the beam of light aimed at her eyes. It wasn’t harsh, like Hansung’s lenses.

It was calming.

Her headache melted.

Viole checked her.

He isn't letting go of my hand.

She wiggled her arm, but his fingers didn’t budge.

“Your pupils look fine now. Hansung, citizens that are 75% old blood or higher cannot be inside any form of augmented reality without perception glasses. You’re more irresponsible than I thought. Evankhell vouched for you, but I think her opinion is biased.”

He was standing beside her. She could see how straight his posture was.

Hansung stayed quiet.

It felt like a spotlight was shining on her.

They’re waiting for me to say something.

Her forced smile looked slightly less horrible, because she was truly grateful.

“Thank you. Will you be taking care of me from now on? Do you have time to? Aren’t you busy?”

Viole patted her arm stiffly with his free hand.

“I don’t sleep. I only have to spend forty hours at work, and I spend much of that time behind a screen. When you are awake I will be here.”

She caught his other hand, because he was still beating her arm like a drum.

He looked happy. His warm brown eyes were extremely convincing, but she felt cautious.

Am I a pet poodle, a friend, or a potential wife?

Hansung left out a few key details. I don’t know this man, so I don’t know what our “relationship” was.

His voice was gentle.

“Your heart rate is skyrocketing.”

No shit.

She looked at his hands instead of his face. They were convincing too. His veins and knucklebones had been crafted flawlessly.

I have to find out, before I lose my nerve. I’m curious enough to risk my life now, but the urge will fade soon.

I need to chase this feeling of curiosity.

She pouted.

“Why haven’t you hugged me yet?”

His eyebrows jumped up before they furrowed.

“I don’t know. I must have forgotten. Is that why you’re mad? I’m sorry, Rachel.”

He pulled her in close. Her chin bumped into his chest.

“I’m not angry, but I haven’t seen you in ages. You didn’t come to see me…so I moved on.”

The metallic straps on his jacket were digging into her cheek. They were cold, but he wasn’t. None of his synthetic parts felt robotic. She couldn’t discern where his human parts began.

Hansung and the autobot were shuffling away to safety together.

“Why?”

That’s a tough question.

She sighed dramatically, and hid her face in his chest.

“I don’t know. Maybe I was angry, back then. I don’t even recognize your voice.”

He didn’t pat her back clumsily. His touches quickly became more sophisticated, and relaxing. His palm rubbed against her spine until her knees felt weak.

“I’m a man now, and I went away to serve in the core. Of course I’m not the same. Are you unhappy because I’m not a little boy anymore? Moving into a fully metallic child body would be disadvantageous. Getting permission to do that will take years…”

She laughed, to distract him, and herself.

I’m getting there.

Only a couple minutes have gone by and I already know the basics. I met him when he was really young, and I am definitely not his pet poodle. He’s almost submissive. I wasn’t very popular in school. I should remember him, or his face at least. I’ve never been the boss in my friend group, but he’s acting so pitiful. He’s apologized at least three times, and I’ve barely said a word.

I don’t think he’s ever going to pull rank and order me around.

She felt uncomfortable.

Hansung looks shocked.

Her legs rubbed together.

Were we friends?

This doesn’t feel like friendship.

Viole showed her a real smile.

She suddenly couldn’t summon her fake one. It was an insult in comparison.

When her mouth trembled Viole looked unsatisfied.

 The Autobot activated.

--Someone is at the door—

Neither of the men said a word, so she raised her voice.

“Come in!”

A playful man in grey waltzed in after the door unlocked. The sharp studs in his ears looked like thorns. His casual suit came with a hood, and several baggy pockets.

His ruby red eyes were lively.

“Knock. Knock. Sorry to bother you two. I just wanted to swing by and say hello before I leave. Viole…I haven’t seen you this happy in…never. Congratulations. I’m Urek Mazino. Don’t worry about a thing, Rachel. He can do his job and hang out with you. Viole risks his life every day. I have complete faith in him and I'm not a callous bastard. Trust me. I'm not here to tear you apart. I'm not just ok with this, I'm happy about it.”

The huge man was shorter than Evankhell, but his presence was somehow heavier.

His bulky arms wrapped around her, and Viole, like they were all best friends.

She stuttered.

“Me…me too.”

He forgot to let me introduce myself.

Her pulse died.

He’s trying to be upbeat. His attitude always freaks me out when I see him on screen too. It's way worse in person. He's trying to be relatable in a way that feels off. He acts as human as he can, because he does care. I know that. That’s admirable, but it’s still a mask.

She heard her father’s voice in her mind for the first time in many years. It was intimately rough, and real.

Urek is a good guy. I’ve seen him. He’s a great leader. He doesn’t slip up, but his personality feels fake. It feels wrong. Anyone with enough human blood automatically feels uneasy around him. His eyes feel like a trap. The boys thought so too. We were fucking right. He injects colored plasma into them, because his actual sclera have gone grey with age. I heard the red color was an accident.

Aren't they freaky?

You think so too, don't you?

She ripped her eyes away and looked at Viole instead. Urek had pushed them both even closer.

His soft chocolate hair was touching her throat.

She grinned with Urek, until he released them.

Viole’s eyes were still young, so the pigment in them was natural. There were flaws in his augmented pupils. 

They were a thousand times more gorgeous than Urek’s evenly painted pupils.

She touched his cheek.

What happened to you?

How did you become so messed up inside?

You’re so damaged that you believe some random woman is your anchor.

He was leaning on her. She yelped when he pressed up against her like a cat.

This is the first time I have ever feared for my life. A life in a suit is still a life.

Maybe I’m being punished for being greedy, just like that nameless space princess.

She pulled her hand away, but he followed it. His chin was on the tip of her finger.

Urek guffawed like a nosy uncle, and nudged Hansung’s shoulder. They were staring blatantly. The heartwarming scene was stuffed full of liars. The only sincere set of eyes in the room belonged to a defective madman.

She paled when his lips touched her cheek.

Chapter Text

A kiss.

She touched her cheek, and rubbed it. Urek seemed befuddled when she rubbed it more and more. He shrugged at Hansung, who shrugged as well. Viole was utterly unbothered by her reaction, and that freaked her out even more.

She poked the spot his lips had touched like it was bruised. Like it was hurting her. Her eyes were wide and she was breathing unevenly, like she had been poisoned.

I should be remembering something. I haven’t been kissed much. Mom was a hugger. Dad was our workaholic roommate, not a parent.

Viole was patting her arm.

She couldn’t move away. Her mind was experiencing pure chaos, but she didn't run from him.

Really young students sometimes kiss each other on the cheek to apologize. Did I ever do that? I was so quiet. I didn’t cause trouble because I couldn’t. I had to focus on keeping my shitty grades above water. Just above that level where you get kicked out of the general education system.

The skin on his palm was too smooth. She couldn’t feel a single callus or rough patch, even though he was a seasoned warrior.

Think.

The spot on her cheek was red. Both of her cheeks were.

Think.

She couldn’t look him in the eye anymore. He was far from hideous, but she couldn’t recognize him. She was trying to, but her brain was empty. He looked too overjoyed. His feelings felt genuine. The disconnect between them was putting her on edge.

Think.

The ammunition holder at his belt was full. He was carrying enough explosives to drag the facility down into hell.

I was obsessed with being a regular, normal student for years.

I don’t think I’ve ever had to formally apologize to anyone in my classes. I remember being lonely when I was little. I liked to watch dumb shows and pretend to be a hero. I used to do chores for the neighbors, because I wanted praise.

They thought I was weird. Their Housebot had to clean up after I “cleaned” because I was no good at it.

I wanted to be liked.

I thought pretending to be extra kind and peppy would make that happen.

It sort of worked after I grew some more, but I was an awkward kid. The friends I did make all became successful, and they left me. My family was poor and I was too, before I came here.

When did I meet him?

How?

She looked for more imperfections in him, to calm herself down. The ones she could find were all in his eyes. His features were all too straight, but his brown eyes were nice. She liked chestnut ice cream, and the smell of pine air freshener. The people in her colony were very colorful. She was surrounded by waves of neon bright citizens every day. It was rare to see someone who didn't wear accessories, or metal arms, or moving tattoos. The most abnormal looking people were boring, and average. She saw peacocks every day. 

Plain, tidy people were less common.

The color brown was grossly underrated. It was one of her favorites. The color of the night sky was unbeatable, but as a human she felt attached to the ugly dirt ball she lived on.

Her racing heartbeat slowed down.

His synthetic sclera had deactivated. When his eyes weren’t glowing she couldn’t tell if they were fake. They were nothing like Urek’s flat, glassy ones.

I didn’t ask him to kiss me.

He thinks he’s supposed to, for some reason.

Hansung was a better actor than she could ever hope to be. He was typing information into the Autobot. It was beeping peacefully.

“Don’t mind me. I’m just inputting Viole’s information. He is my employee now after all. I have to register him. Viole. From now on the Autobots will obey you. If you’re ever busy with your…other job…just call one of my machines. Rachel is a grown adult, but all of the girls here are supposed to get one full service cyborg. It’s in her contract. Urek didn’t tell me you were coming. I think she was shocked too. If you ever…can’t escort her when she needs to leave the building please tell an Autobot. I’ll tell Evankhell to go with her.”

Her skin prickled.

I don’t want to go anywhere with her. Viole thinks he likes me, but Evankhell is a real cyber soldier. She won’t take me anywhere.

He’s lying.

She stopped glaring at him.

The thin man had crossed his arms behind his back.

He is lying. He’s trying to let me know that I can’t leave the facility without Viole for now. We can’t keep using Mufflers. Viole will catch us eventually if we talk openly about…me not being his special person.

He doesn’t want to die, and I don’t want the government to break my brain.

She leaned on Viole’s arm.

Hansung stopped typing.

Urek left first, in a hurry. His hoodie flipped up, and he winked at them once more.

“I’m glad I came. I don’t get invited to many joyous events. Call me if you ever…I don’t know…want to drink?”

His eyes were on her, but she chose to believe that he was addressing everyone.

When he didn’t get an answer he kept chattering.

“Viole, I checked your reports. Don’t you dare open your files for at least ten hours. You deserve a break, and some alone time with your friend here. I’m going to ask you one more time. Are you sure this is the right person?”

Her entire body shifted away from Viole like he was on fire. Everybody noticed, but she pretended to be stiff. She stretched her arms and shuffled back in close to Viole.

He answered the loaded question.

“I’m certain.”

Urek was leaning on the doorframe.

“Why didn’t you say anything? You would have been reunited much sooner if you told me. All you had to do was tell me her name.”

Viole sealed her fate.

“Rachel told me not to.”

Urek looked curious.

“Why did you do that?”

She almost swallowed her tongue.

I don’t remember. I think this is all a ploy. A foreign terrorist has implanted memories of me in his brain. I’m innocent. Let me leave.

“I’m…I thought I would never see him again. Like I said I was upset, and younger at the time.”

Urek’s pocket beeped.

“Ok. I have to go. Bye. Enjoy your ten hour break.”

After the door slid shut she heard a sound. There was a thump, and then no noise at all.

Viole looked down at her.

“He’s gone.”

She blinked.

“Did he teleport…or…is he fast?”

Viole’s answer was too casual.

“He’s fast.”

She suddenly wanted to hide in the bathroom.

Hansung coughed politely.

“Our dear leader has told you to take a break, so I guess I can’t make you work today. I’ll get some egg samples out of you later, Rachel. Play some games. Learn about each other. How many years did you two spend apart? Wait don’t answer me. I can feel a distance between you. You've both changed. If you manage to close that distance within the next ten hours I’m sure this tension will disappear.”

Viole stared at her accusingly while she struggled to come up with an excuse.

Is Hansung trying to get me killed?

“Do you feel tense around me? That’s impossible.”

No it isn’t.

She thought about the safest route forward.

Hansung mentioned games. I think he’s trying to drop hints for me. I can use our time together to get close to him. Then he’ll never know I’m not the right girl.

He let her lead him away. They were steps away from the kitchen, and she wanted to sit down.

“Do…do you want a cookie?”

Viole destroyed her attempt at casual conversation with a hammer.

“No. I had to cut all of my hair off when I joined the core. Can I braid yours?”

Does he actually think that’s a normal question?

Her heart had left her body. It was floating around in space somewhere.

“Um…I…”

Hansung waved gaily.

“I’m off to go visit one of your coworkers. I really do need some eggs today. Text me if you have any questions about the machines we use, or your new bank account. I’m only a couple floors away. Don’t forget that.”

Was that a warning?

His eyes were narrow.

Yes it was.

He adjusted his white coat before he left. There were no excuses left to use. She had to pay attention to her new friend.

“Viole…do you want to play a game? I know it sounds childish but I just moved into this place. So much has changed about my life. I’m surprised that you recognized…me!”

She shrieked when he pulled her chin up.

Viole’s expression was pained.

The redness on her cheeks was spreading.

Is he going to say something sweet? I hope not. If he says he knew the moment after Hansung added my data to the system I’ll feel even guiltier than I do now.

“I checked your DNA record before I came.”

Her ears popped.

“What?”

Both of his hands were under her jaw. He was holding her in place like she was an unruly kitten.

“Your face does look familiar, but there are trillions of living things in this galactic cluster. I checked everything. I looked at every piece of ID you’ve registered, and then I reported my findings to Urek. I left work early that day.”

Her stomach felt funny.

That is the most unromantic thing I’ve ever heard.

This asshole didn’t even recognize me.

The absurdity was painful. The laughter that was building inside her chest was vile.

I’m dreaming. This is a realistic nightmare and I need to buy some Mela-meds. Drugged sleep is better than this.

She squeezed her eyes shut hard, but he was still staring at her when she opened them.

The emotion in his voice made her uncomfortable.

Stop.

Why do you sound so relieved?

Relieved and…tired. It’s almost like thinking of me has been tormenting him for a long time.

He was more talkative than before. His words were just as needy as his hands.

“After I moved away I think the professors lied to me. It was a collective effort. The Bridge Academy found out I had potential very quickly. They started removing everything “useless” from my life. I felt like a robot before I became a cyber soldier. The Academy lessons are not like standard ones. You can die during physical training. They wanted me to put my heart and soul into learning, so I could rise to the highest rank possible. They…thought they were doing the right thing.”

Her jaw trembled.

I don’t feel bad for him.

I don’t know him.

“They were right. Protecting the colony is the most important thing. Without strong soldiers we can’t have cafes, or food, or any resources at all. I…I’m too human. I’m only afraid of the Academy and the honorable Core because I’m weak. Stop looking at me.”

He didn’t.

“Thank you. I have countless allies, and they’re all proud of me. They think I lost nothing when I became what I am today. There was a party. I don’t remember it. I remember…smiling because my friends wanted me to be happy. No one was sad when I walked into the surgery room. I really missed you.”

She grabbed his wrists. His grip on her face wasn’t too tight, but she wanted to get away. She didn’t want to cry in front of him.

“The day you became a cyber soldier was a joyful occasion. What the fu…I mean what are you babbling about?”

Viole finished gently guiding her back to the same kitchen chair she had greeted him in.

Her butt hit the seat with a bang. She was too emotionally drained to act natural.

“Urek is an understanding leader. You can say what you want. I’m not bugged.”

She looked at her feet.

I can’t say anything.

If I ask the wrong question this charade will collapse.

Tears dripped down her face. They were hotter than the spot on her cheek. The sensation of a kiss could not compare to the heat she was feeling. Grief had dug its claws into her, and it was all consuming.

She could not imagine what it would be like to lose your emotions. To wake up one day with a prime directive instead of a heart. To look at people you know and just not care.

She didn’t understand, and the fear of the unknown is scarier than empathy.

Were his parents upset? His friends celebrated, but someone had to be doubtful at least. Does he have parents? Probably not, because he’s attached to me. If they were alive he would be following his mom around or something.

Her feet kicked, and fluttered. She was floating in the air. Her nose smacked into his metal breast plate, and she finally realized that she was airborne.

“Ah…what?”

He took her seat, and sat her down in his lap. The lava like torrent of grief died up, and she died of embarrassment. She stopped moving and talking instantly. Her panicked brain was telling her that the predator behind her neck would leave if she held still.

He was cheerful.

“Let’s play cards! I’ve been waiting for the day when I could play games with you again. I thought I would have to wait until after I died. I’ll summon a holodeck. Want to play with giant horses, ships, or people?”

Her tongue was stuck to her teeth.

His thighs were hard, but they felt like muscle, not metal.

“S…sh…the shi…”

The lights above them turned off.

--Intruder Alert—

--Hello. I am your helpful computerized spy camera system, Soi. I am Security Optimized for Intelligence. Please stay in your room. The burn level seven lasers on your windows have been activated. There is an intruder in the lobby. Do not panic. The threat is minimal. The offender is currently causing minor property damage. This is Soi. Spell the word S.O.I if you need to activate the vaporizer cannon. My helpful mini cannons dissolve metal. They can’t destroy living skin. Using me will not result in a criminal sentence. Using me will help your fellow residents. Call for Soi if you need help.—

“Viole…”

She was still in his lap.

So many shocking things have happened today. I don’t even feel like screaming.

“…can you let go of me?”

He was holding a deck of cards made of green light. One of his eyes was glowing as well. The synthetic parts in it were moving erratically, even though his pupil was perfectly still.

“Why? The threat will be neutralized soon. Evankhell is downstairs. No precious blood has been shed. The offender is just going to spend a year or two in jail.”

She leaned closer, towards his face.

One of her blond curls touched his cheek.

“Are you watching what’s happening?”

Viole shuffled the cards. They shivered in midair. His arms dropped and wrapped around her waist.

“Yes, but I’m not watching carefully. I am supposed to be on break.”

She swatted the floating deck.

“Put those away and look very carefully. I want to know what the fuck is going on!”

Her hands flailed, and she covered her mouth.

I can’t piss him off. I have to stay calm, even in a situation like this.

“I…I mean I would love to play but…”

More tears were about to flow out.

The floor under their feet rumbled. Glass shattered somewhere, and she heard stomping boots.

The other bodyguards are moving.

Are they evacuating the other women?

His nails touched her spine.

“I’m not a child anymore, Rachel. You can swear at me. I’m not mad. I’m more mature now. If you really want to know what’s happening I’ll take you downstairs. The S.O.I system reported a minor threat, but now it has been deactivated.”

She hissed, and hugged him back.

“It has…the…the security system just went quiet. I didn’t notice it was dead!”

Viole got up, and he unexpectedly put her down.

“The safest place to be is behind me.”

She believed him, and she followed him. His long coat was flowy enough to grab, so she did. Touching it was oddly comforting.

Emergency lights were flickering in the hallway, but Soi had gone silent.

Viole pulled her along, and they walked down a dizzying flight of stairs.

“What can you see now?”

He told her every last detail.

“Evankhell has put up a flame barricade in front of the lobby door. Some Autobots have been chopped up. Hansung is annoyed. Evankhell is too, but she hasn’t killed the intruder. This particular intruder must be harmless. It may be a drunk soldier.”

She paused.

“Drunk cyborgs can rip up Autobots?”

He didn’t hesitate.

“Yes. The human body is the ultimate upgrade material. Our brains work extremely well with machines. Even a suit worker is stronger than a robot.”

She hopped down after him.

When he held out his hand she took it.

I should know this stuff. Sometimes I forget but I was a terrible student. I only know the most basic things about my own colony. I haven’t interacted with soldiers, or many foreigners at all. It’s embarrassing but I’m pretty sheltered.

She could smell fire.

My monkey brain is telling me I’m in danger, but I’m not. Getting rid of someone that can rip through metal is child’s play for a cyber soldier, and two are in this building.

My instincts are so dumb.

Sometimes I understand why my classmates took pills to remove them.

Viole turned to her, and tried to reassure her.

“Do not be alarmed. The smell of fire is lying to you. I can get us out of this building at your leisure. Your heartbeat is loud enough to hear. I’m jealous. It wasn’t moving that fast when you met me.”

His disappointed pout was cute.

It did not fit the situation they were in.

He doesn’t feel like he’s in danger, but I sure do.

She smiled for him.

Hansung trotted over to them carefully. Evankhell was squinting through her fire net barrier, and flipping off the attacker. Her third eye was twitching and jerking like it was trying to crawl out of her skull.

Hansung’s lab coat was singed, and his long hair was hanging down. The reception desk had been trashed. Robot blood was congealing on the ceiling, and falling down like sticky rain. An Autobot head was sparking near her feet.

Viole kicked it away.

Hansung looked and sounded frazzled.

“There you are. My best specimen and her guardian. I was just about to call you, Viole. Did you know about this? Why didn’t you warn us? Didn’t you tell anyone you were coming here?”

Viole wasn’t flustered.

“No. I reported to Urek and left to prepare for my new job after. Meeting Rachel was more important to me than answering any personal calls. I will deal with the seventy unread messages in my pocket later.”

Hansung dragged his hand over his mouth, and started biting his nails.

“You…whatever. I’ll make Evankhell kick your ass later. The soldier outside thinks I stole you. Apparently, I’m not trustworthy because Evankhell wasn’t supposed to choose me. Blah. Blah. Blah. The uppity bitch out there thinks I’m stupid enough to try and seduce two cyber soldiers. Dumbest bitch of a man I’ve ever seen. Get out there and tell him I didn’t plant a control chip in your expensive little head.”

Viole didn’t let go of her hand.

“I can’t. I’m here to protect Rachel, and I’m on break.”

Hansung bit one of his own nails clean off.

“I can see why they don’t let cyber soldiers that aren’t Urek speak in public. You’re cooler when you don’t talk. Just…stand there. Evankhell put the barrier down. Let’s tell this moron to go home. Rachel…try your best.”

It looked like he pitied her.

She stepped out first, and Viole followed her into the shallow lake of blue blood.

Two Autobots were still functioning. Their wheels were scattering more neon fluid like sprinklers.

-Danger-Danger-Vandalism-Danger-

Every time they tried to back away from the mechanical blood they created a bigger mess.

I know robots don’t have feelings, but they look traumatized.

She looked at the hazy barrier made of fire seconds before it turned to smoke. A cool wave of mist poured into the wrecked lobby. Lightbulbs and pipes were sticking out of everything like spines on a lizards back.

The floor had buckled.

Did Evankhell do this, or is the intruder that strong?

Hansung cupped his hands around his mouth, and breathed in.

“I’m billing you for all of this motherfucker! If you can’t pay I’m making Viole pay. We didn’t kidnap him.”

Someone silver stepped through the smoke. His jacket was shinier than the metal sticking out of the walls.

It was a man.

His voice was clear, and full of conviction.

“Why should I believe a liar that breeds people for fun?”

A spear flashed.

It dove through the smog and stabbed through both of the remaining Autobots. The strength of the blow lifted them straight up off the ground. Their metal bodies were stuck to the blade like meat on a skewer. The heated plasma on the tip sizzled, and melted more of the lobby. It was starting to look like a bowl of soup instead of a building.

Her yellow eyes shook.

I’ve seen him before.

It’s the rude guy from the fountain.

The stranger looked a lot like his uniform. His eyes were blue, but his hair was closer to silver. Exactly like the boots he was wearing. The metal accents on his long coat were grey instead of gold. There was a district badge on his forearm, and his righteous attitude had been ingrained into his posture.

A3

Isn’t Viole in charge of Dock A?

Is this one of his soldiers?

Does he seriously think we stole him?

The silver soldier raised one arm, and the magnets in his hand activated.

His spear heated up, and flew back to him. Robot guts and limbs danced around like a tornado, and one stray leg hit an exasperated Evankhell.

“Are you done, tiny soldier? I could squish you right now. I haven’t, but don’t get cocky. We just don’t want to pay a fine and fill out bothersome paperwork.”

The flaming hot tip of the spear moved, and pointed at Hansung.

“You did this.”

He groaned, and shoved his clenched fists into his pockets.

“No, I didn’t. Your brain dead brick superior came without telling you. He’s allowed to do that, you know? He’s your damn superior! Why the hell did you immediately assume some evil plot was afoot because he didn’t answer your phone calls? This is why I only deal with you, Evankhell. My Darling. You’re the only bearable person in the whole Core. I know it.”

Evankhell was blushing.

“Uh-huh.”

Her gruff mumble was somehow charming. She looked neater than Hansung. Her armor wasn’t even scuffed.

Rachel flinched.

Viole’s hand had moved to her hip at some point.

He sounded authoritative, but he still didn’t seem bothered.

Do things like this happen all the time? Soldiers aren’t supposed to show their strength around people like me. I always assumed my teachers were exaggerating, but now I know.

A rouge foot soldier could level a satellite town.

Her fingers knitted around Viole’s.

That’s a chilling thought.

“Aguero, go home. I’m on break, and I came here to meet Rachel. I’ve been sending in the reports and data you all need. Why have you come into a private building with your weapon? It should be outside in a sealed case. The smoke could damage someone's lungs. How could you be so reckless?”

The blade on the spear clicked, and retracted. It retreated back into the base. Smoke flowed out of the hole.

Aguero tapped it against the ground. Smoke stopped coming out before he holstered it.

He crossed his arms.

“You didn’t mention her. Who...this is awful! Viole, you’re in danger. You need to come back to the dock to get checked.”

Viole opened his pocket.

“Didn’t Urek send you a message? He said he would let my soldiers know. I’m not going to be available twenty four hours a day from now on.”

The atmosphere was frosty.

“Another cyber soldier will take your position…”

Viole didn’t sound annoyed.

Just confused.

“That won’t happen. I am still the most qualified candidate. Pay the repair fee you owe Evankhell and Hansung. Go home.”

Aguerk cautiously walked forward instead.

Her nose wrinkled.

I thought he was part Alurian, but his skin isn’t luminescent. It’s slimy. That is so strange. I haven’t seen someone aquatic that looks this human before.

His gills are really small.

She was obviously staring at his pale neck.

Viole and Aguero both didn’t like that.

The irritated soldier spoke first.

“Miss, can you stop appraising me? I don’t want to be your next scam target. You are dead meat. Everybody in this building is destined for jail. You lied to Urek. I bet you thought you could get away with this, but the most loyal soldiers in the Core follow Viole. We know him too well to be fooled by this nonsense. He isn’t “emotionally attached” to anyone. He is fair to all like Urek himself.”

Rachel hid behind Viole’s back.

He might be right, but he’s such a zealot.

It’s irritating.

Hansung was behind her. She almost slipped on blue blood when he touched her shoulder.

Viole was unimpressed.

“Please, stop startling Rachel for your own entertainment. I’m beginning to think that you’re not a competent business owner.”

Aguero was nearly frantic.

“Sir…Viole…I’m worried about you. You are a steady man, and you care for everyone in the Net. You can’t be irrational like so many other cyber soldiers. You’re…more than them. Urek talks about how promising you are so often. If you did have an irrational attachment of any kind you would have told us. I got Urek’s message. I just couldn’t believe it. I thought I was going to die of worry. I’m begging you. If you stay away from this place for a couple of days the effect of the chip will wear off. Don’t you trust me?”

Viole pushed her back, until she couldn’t see the desperate man.

Hansung giggled. That giggle grew into an unhinged sound she couldn’t name. When he pointed at Aguero his accusation was sharper than any spear.

“Worried? Hu….hahaha! Fuck you. You’re angry because he didn’t get attached to you after his surgery. Was that your plan? Were you his sparring partner? Were you pissed when he didn't hug you after that fateful day? Lots of “best friends” cling to cyber soldier candidates because they want power. You must be so bitter deep down. The weapon you’ve been raising chose someone else.”

When Aguero froze he became lovelier. All of his messy emotions fell off his face, so he could look down on Hansung properly.

His eyes were like ice.

Clear, and colorless. They didn’t quite look blue under the dying lights.

“How dare you. I am truly worried for him.”

Viole decided to have an opinion as well.

His distaste for Hansung keeps growing.

“He wouldn’t do that. You have the right to be angry, doctor. He did cause serious damage, but it will be fixed within a day. Stop being so petty. I have to convince Aguero to leave peacefully, so I can enjoy the rest of my break with Rachel.”

When Aguero’s slimy eyes touched her she couldn’t fake a smile.

Hansung hugged her shoulder protectively, and teased the soldier more.

“You have the most lovely electric blue eyes. Your hair sort of matches. Is it natural? Are you related to general Eduan? You must suffer from the worst inferiority complex. Rachel, lean in and listen. The sons of Khun Eduan are numerous, but they can’t have children. At all. I couldn’t make one with his DNA, even if I used my best machine. That guy came out of a damn egg. There’s too much aquatic blood in him.”

Aguero tried to cut him off, but the doctor was incorrigible. He was enjoying himself too much to stop.

When Aguero’s shoulders hunched she noticed, and she felt some pity for him.

“That has nothing to do with this conversation.”

She whispered like her feelings were a secret.

“Uh…yes…this is getting too personal.”

Hansung pushed her forward, until she was within stabbing distance.

His voice was tickling her ear.

“Shut it. Eduan has lots of Perenori blood in him. You may have not heard of that planet. It is very far away and the residents live under slightly acidic water. The same water that we treat and use today. They aren’t the smartest, most sentient beings but of course a human fucked one. General Eduan has given this colony many sons. The Perenori species doesn’t produce many women. It’s one of those more wild societies that shares the women it does have. Erm…Eduan is not the most respectful man. It’s almost like he produces children out of instinct. He doesn’t care about them, or the women he keeps around. He’s an interesting man, but he doesn’t feel human. Anyway his children have muddy, worthless blood. They’re smart and strong but after Eduan finally croaks they’re going to die out. I have personally looked after several of his cryogenically gestated embryos. There is no way to fix the fertility issue his children suffer from. So…hehe…none of the foreign dignitaries, or higher ups in this colony want them. They’re foot soldiers that only get decent jobs because of their daddy.”

Rachel's slack jaw nearly fell off when Evankhell left the torched room. She yawned like she was bored, and nodded at Hansung before she stomped out.

Her husband wasn’t worried, even though no one was smiling.

His grin didn’t count.

“Viole, it seems like you trust this one. I’m being serious when I say you’re making a mistake. Eduan’s spawn are some of the most jaded members in this colony. All of them without exception are trying to find a way to stay in power after their father dies. Watch over my best specimen even more closely.”

She winced.

Please stop calling me that.

“He’s jealous of her for sure.”

That offended Aguero more than anything else

“Are you done!?”

Hansung walked right up to him.

His fearlessness was admirable.

“I’m not. You set my house on fire, now get ready to burn. You came here all alone after days of tracking. Finding this location probably took way too much effort. Why are you alone? Why would you risk your life like this? I’ll tell you why. You wanted to save this cyber soldier, even though none of them have ever needed saving. You wanted to get the credit for helping him, because you’re an opportunistic bastard. I can respect that, but too bad. You lose. You bet on the wrong man. I get why you wanted him to choose you. I totally get why you wanted to work for a cyber soldier with no attachments. That's the next best option. Then you have a chance. This was your back up plan, right? I've seen so many coattail riders like you. I can basically read your damn mind. Cyber soldiers that aren’t slightly unhinged hire people. They have right hand men, and second in commands. They reward their friends, and marry to benefit the colony. Who did you promise him to? Let me guess. You made a deal with the Alurians. They love humans, so enticing one of their many princesses wouldn’t be too hard…”

Aguero had bitten through his lip. There was an unsightly red mark below his nose.

“No…I…I didn’t know. Generals and other higher ups usually marry nobles. That’s what is supposed to happen. I thought you wanted to help forge new alliances, Viole. I didn’t know about her, and she’s fake anyw…”

Viole slapped him.

The open handed strike left two more marks on his lip and jaw.

“I didn’t tell you about Rachel because she told me not to. Then, for years I suffered because I thought she was dead. I’ve been good. I’ve been pretending to be happy for you and the others. Why can’t you be happy for me now?”

Aguero bowed low, until his spine was a straight line.

“Three princesses are interested in you.”

Viole wiped the blood off the back of his hand before he reached for hers again.

“Why?”

Aguero didn’t rise back up.

“I didn’t have to say anything at first. They asked me. I simply said you were unattached. Let me come upstairs with you so I can explain, and ask for forgiveness.”

Hansung hooted.

“This is delicious. Told you, Viole. He revealed your martial status to curry favor with foreign nobles. Can’t really blame him. He has to use you to get some of their sweet, sweet influence.”

Viole turned to her before he showed Aguero a more level expression.

He’s upset. It’s not showing on his face, but I can tell somehow.

“Aguero…maybe you should leave. This is Rachel’s home. You can’t just come upstairs and barge in. I let you come into my home without permission because we’re close. You haven’t even greeted her. You’re being very rude to her.”

The silver cyborg apologized to her, but he was still looking at Viole.

“I am so very sorry, Rachel. May I stay and chat with you, or do you have work to do?”

His smirk pissed her off, and she realized something.

He doesn’t respect fertility workers.

She copied his elegant posture, and made a snap decision.

I don’t want to fucking deal with this level of asshole today.

“No.”

Aguero’s eyes bulged in a way that reminded her of his fish ancestors.

Hansung was sitting on an upturned Autobot, and drinking in the drama.

“Did you just say no? This is important. The princesses will be offended…”

She looked at her feet.

An invisible barrier had pushed the mess on the floor away from her. She was completely clean.

Viole did a good job.

There’s no blue blood on me.

Not one drop.

Her smile was bland.

“Not today. I think I’m still shocked. I almost passed out when I saw Viole. I need to sleep.”

She went to the stairwell alone.

“You can speak to him after I’m in bed. I’m done for the day.”

Hansung nodded. When he stood up he cracked his back.

“Yup. I need a nap too. Blue boy! I expect to see construction workers in this lobby when I wake up. You know how to transfer money to Evankhell. Do it.”

Aguero was speechless.

“This…isn’t a game. This is international politics! How disrespectful...”

Viole was frowning.

“Wait…Rachel? Does that mean we’re not playing cards?”

She didn’t turn back.

“That’s right.”

He followed her forelornly up the stairs.

Aguero called out.

“May I please come up as well?!”

It sounds like he’s choking. If being polite is that hard for him I’m not interested in talking to him.

She yelled back.

“No!”

Viole’s hand landed on her back. She didn’t say anything. When he chose to carry her, because she was limping, she felt relieved. Her body didn’t have enough energy left to bring her upstairs.

Her Autobot greeted them with a bow when they entered her apartment.

He dropped her off at her bedroom door.

“Sweet dreams.”

When he kissed her cheek again a wave of shock hit her. She couldn’t handle it. She rushed inside and passed out in her dirty clothes. Her eyes kept opening at random for hours, because she was hot all over. The silky sheets weren’t cooling her down.

Who did I kiss?

Did someone kiss me?

Was Viole a girl? Did he change his sex?

Her leg cramped up, and she rolled over.

Why does getting kissed feel so good?

I should hate it. He’s a stranger, but I'm lonely.

I used to love comforting other kids who were lonely.

It made me feel better about myself.

I was such a selfish girl.

Who the hell liked me enough to kiss me?

It feels nostalgic, but I don't remember anything.

I don't even know if I'm a fake.

I want to know the truth.

Her lips felt softer than usual.

She gasped.

"That's it! I should drink some nostalgia enhancers. That will force the memory out. Why didn't I think of that before? I don't use that stuff, but it should work. I hope it works. I have to go back to that cafe."

Her body relaxed after she hugged a spare pillow.

I want to know why that kiss feels so familiar.

Chapter Text

I’m so cozy.

Rachel was balled up at the corner of her bed like a cat. Yesterday’s dramatic fiasco had drained her dry. Her brain was a puddle of mush. She was clean and warm. The heated mattress had knocked her out. It was automatic. When she wanted to be cool, she was. When she wanted to be hot it burned her back. It was a modern miracle. A great leap in bed technology. She didn’t ever want to sleep without automatic temperature control ever again. Her arms were tucked under her chest, and her blankets were wrapped around her snugly.

I have to go.

Now.

She got up, and fear started to set in. It chased her perfectly temperature controlled dreams away. She uncurled and shook her head furiously until she had to get up. Her neck cracked and she kicked her way out of her heavenly blanket cocoon. It was early. Her windows weren’t open. She was flailing around in the dark like she was having a panic attack.

Technically, she was.

I have to get to that café now. I don’t care if Hansung needs my blood. This is more important. Both of our lives are hanging by a thread. The malfunctioning super robot I just met is going to start asking questions soon. He was too excited to focus on reality yesterday, but he has a brain.

I’m going to run out of time at some point.

She searched for her slippers with her feet.

“Rachel? Why are you up early?”

He sounded calm.

She didn’t scream, but her voice was louder than usual.

“Lights!”

Every light in her cavernous yet comfortable room turned on. The glare woke her up completely.

Viole was about fifteen feet away, near her door. His eyes weren’t on, or on her. Sparks were flickering in them. His pupils were moving, but he wasn’t looking at anything. He was wearing the same clothes, and he didn’t look tired because he couldn’t be tired. His short hair was just as neat as it was twelve hours ago. Modern technology had advanced much further than body language based temperature control.

He was waiting for an answer.

His eyes are freaky.

“W-what are you doing?”

The sparks vanished, and his pupils stopped darting around.

“Some office work. I’m almost finished. I can do it later, but Urek said I have to keep my dock running. He agreed to let me take a second job because he thinks I can handle the workload. It's not optional. While you sleep I must focus on my other duties.”

He was staring at her.

Why are you in my room?

She acted casual, like she was used to being watched.

“What happened with Aguero? Did you talk to him while I was asleep?”

Viole pulled a needle out of his jacket, and tapped a floating green screen when it appeared by his side.

“I sent him back. He doesn’t need to be here, and he certainly doesn’t need to see you. His presence is required at the dock today. A shipment of water is coming in, and he has to inspect it. It’s crucial work, and he’s in charge because of his background in science. He’s not like me. Most of his duties are hands on. Hansung wants a small blood sample, and two eggs. Can you give me your arm?”

The stars in the sky were beautiful, but all of the artificial lights in the neighborhood were dimming them. Ships were soaring through the morning sky, and an ad for Mela-med’s was glowing two floors below her.

She hugged herself.

“Are you going to take my eggs? Are you a qualified doctor? I’m not sure if I’m comfortable with…”

Viole was next to her.

“I’m not a doctor. I’m a combat nurse at best. I can take your blood, but Hansung will have to handle the rest. Don’t worry, I will supervise. I don’t trust him. He’s oddly irresponsible for a medical professional. Evankhell’s favor has opened too many doors for him. He's a sloppy man.”

His disapproving glare made her feel like a criminal, even though he wasn’t talking about her.

The glass tube attached to the long needle was too clear. She could see her warped face in it. Her skin was clammy, and she was starting to feel flustered.

“Where is my Autobot? It can take the sample. You can finish your work. If…you know...if you need to go back to the dock you can. I care about resource shipment safety like any good citizen.”

He sat down next to her, and she scurried away to the middle of the bed.

“Liar.”

Her face heated up, and her heart stopped.

“If you were a good citizen you would have reported to me. You would have come to see me after my successful graduation. You’ve been living for yourself, Rachel. If you didn’t sign into this facility…I wouldn’t have found you.”

She was curious. The sadness in his eyes wasn’t augmented. He looked like a boy in bulky tactical gear, not a living weapon.

“Did…someone really hide my records?”

He stretched out her arm, and pulled her over to him. She had signed her soul away. Hansung had every right to take her blood. Her hesitation was invalid in Viole’s eyes.

He was going to take it, no matter what.

“Yes. I don’t know who did it, or how they did it, but you were impossible to find. I didn’t know you existed, but we’ve been living in the same colony this whole time. I rolled your Autobot back into the basement storage unit. You don’t need it. You’ve got me. I’m a lot gentler than the average machine.”

Her face scrunched up when the needle pushed into her wrist. She breathed in, and out, and she watched red liquid drip out. He pressed the bottom of the device and more blood gushed forth to fill the tube.

I don’t feel any pain, but I like the Autobot more.

She remembered her role.

I’m not the submissive one here.

He is.

“Bring it back. Why didn’t you ask me first? I like that bot, and you’re not going to be available all the time. Remember to ask me before you make any decisions. T-this is my house.”

Well, sort of. I can’t stay if I stop working for Hansung, but it’s mine for now.

Her curls were a ruined pile of hay. Her nails were digging into her palms, and the tube was almost full.

“I’ll bring it back. Should I call Hansung? The extraction process shouldn’t take long, and it’s painless as well.”

She looked at him fiercely.

“No.”

I’ve been saying that a lot lately.

He blinked in surprise, and she tipped her chin up arrogantly.

“Rachel we both signed…”

She huffed.

“I want some nostalgia. I drink it once a week, and I’m feeling extra nostalgic today. You’re back in my life and I want to celebrate.”

His eyes were very human. Focusing on them made him feel less intimidating.

“Emotional enhancers aren’t good for you, Rachel. If you eat higher quality food you will attain the same overall feeling of wellbeing. I’m happy that you want to celebrate. All of the parties I attend don’t feel like celebrations at all. I can’t wait to plan a birthday with you, but you should give him those samples first. Two clients have already asked for your eggs. You should be proud.”

His robotic sense of duty was controlling him, but something else was in his eyes too.

He’s wavering.

He wants to go out and fool around with me.

Behaving like a greedy brat was hurting her pride, but she couldn’t stop. Her lifespan was getting shorter by the minute. She had to fish through years of suppressed memories to find the hole where “Viole” was. Her fruitless time in the educational system had eaten her thoughts. Most of her childhood was hazy.

I’ll never remember unless I stuff drugs down my throat.

She touched his shoulder. He was holding up her blood sample.

“We’re going right now. Don’t be so boring. I got up early so we can have fun together. I’ll get on the operating table before nightfall. I promise.”

Viole leaned in close, and looked into her eyes.

“I have scheduled your extraction. It is six hours from now. That means we have five. I didn’t think you’d ever develop an interest in emotional enhancers. When did you try it?”

She searched for an excuse and used the easiest one.

“I flunked out and fucked up every proficiency test I took. Purebred humans do not have high calculation speed skills, or great strength. Historians aren't joking when they say fertility was their greatest asset. I was so…ashamed. Getting up and trying again felt futile, but I had to. I tried so many times, Viole. I couldn’t go to your graduation, or think about you. I was too worried about me. I needed nostalgia to get through those days.”

That's almost the truth.

I didn't turn to emotional enhancers because I was too depressed to try. I didn't have any good memories to look back on, but now you're here.

So I have to pretend I had something to hold onto.

His hand was behind her neck. He was stroking it because he had no concept of personal space. He thought dropping her in his lap was perfectly fine and ok. He thought watching over her at night was ok. He seemed to expect her to be bratty and unreasonable around him.

I cannot figure out what our relationship was. What if I find nothing after I guzzle down nostalgia? What if there is really a chip in his brain telling him I’m special, when I’m not?

What do I want?

Do I want to be special for once in my life, or do I want this to be a lie?

Which option is more dangerous? That mind wiping machine may make me dumber, but I’ll live.

I may not survive being special.

--Your Autobot has arrived.—

Viole looked defeated.

“There. I called it back. I will hand over this sample, and then we can go. You seemed so angry and confused yesterday. It’s good that you want to spend time with me. I'm relieved.”

She tested him.

“Do you still think I’m upset?”

He walked out, and showed the needle to her helpful Autobot. It beeped joyfully when Viole shoved the spear into its core.

“I do. You don’t use my real name unless I’m in trouble. You’ll stop soon, and everything will go back to the way it was. After we spend some time together we’ll be best friends again.”

She felt dread spike and curve into her heart. She wasn’t smiling, because she didn’t have to. Viole knew she was upset, and pretending to be happy in front of him was pointless.

He could sense her thoughts better than any body language detector. His hand had moved down to cover hers.

They were linked on the bed.

She was afraid of him, because she wasn’t a good actress.

Best friends?

My only “best friend” outpaced me and became a singing idol. I’m too ashamed to even mention her name. Every time I did my peers thought I was bragging about knowing her.

I am so, so ashamed of my entire life.

Have I blocked some of my own memories? Is there a part of my life that I erased?

I thought failing to find a purpose was my greatest shame. Watching my friends leave me behind was my living nightmare.

What else could possibly be in me?

“I need pants. Go get me a cookie.”

He listened, and left to order a protein packed meal replacement for her. She dashed towards the nearest closet, and dug around. All of the basic clothes she had looked like pajamas, and she was too scared to care about fashion. She zipped up a white hoodie, and pulled up a pair of white track pants. They were soft like fur, and almost certainly pajamas. The velvety set was not passable date attire, but her heart rate had spiked. It wouldn’t go back to normal. She was panting, and breathing funny, and thinking about death.

I’ve always been so self conscious. I wanted to be respected. I wanted to live under the stars, instead of some dumpy asteroid belt. I needed validation, and I didn’t care when instructors gave it to me out of pity.

I hated my life.

Walking around in pajamas in public is nothing to me.

I’ve done worse things to survive. I’ve sold my only inheritance, and my body.

I will not give up, or cry, or beg for mercy. I am going to cling to my last chance.

I might not be a criminal, or hapless bait.

The fridge beeped. Her explosively powerful exclusive bodyguard had fetched a cookie for her.

I could really be an old friend of his, but damn it all. Even if I am I don’t understand why he’s attached to me above everyone else he met. The Bridge tried to socialize him, and introduce him to appropriate partners. One of those candidates tore up the ground floor after he heard about me.

I’m not willing to tear up anything for him.

I’m just me.

Viole returned with a plate.

“I ordered an extra large one. It’s a caramel pecan cookie with vitamin D. I added iron too, because I took some of your blood. Hansung wants a lot of your samples. I will be adding iron to one of your daily meals every day…if that’s ok.”

Now he’s asking for permission before he makes decisions. That’s what I wanted and that’s progress.

I’ll take it.

“Ok.”

Maybe I’ll be able to gently encourage him to do his dock work in the living room. I don’t think I can sleep at night with him next to me.

She had to agree with him, and keep nodding. Rachel didn’t have many allies in her life. His consideration was burning her, and searing his initials into her. She didn’t know who was really in charge. Viole was behaving submissively by choice, but he was a cyber soldier.

When she looked at him for more than five seconds a sense of dread set in. Standing near someone above the elite was mind numbing. His synthetic parts were too real and his organized attitude was too formulaic. She didn’t doubt that he had already planned his entire month, and she didn’t know what she was doing tomorrow.

Viole marched towards the door, and waited next to it.

The kitchen table was lonely, and she was too stressed to sit down. A pecan fell off and hit the floor. The Autobot buzzed and swept it up. Viole was waiting because their conversation was over. They had discussed their next move and made an agreement. Now, he was guarding her door.

Like he was supposed to.

According to his contract that was where he had to be.

She ate. The cookie was soft, and the micro plantation grown nuts were crunchy. It didn’t taste like chalky vitamins, and the texture was playing with her tongue. She chewed quickly, and shoved her hands into her pockets.

Looking up at him made her nervous for a million different reasons.

“Are you ready to go, Rachel?”

She didn’t look up again.

“Uh-huh.”

The door clicked, and slid open.

“A ship is waiting downstairs. Most of the debris in the front hall has been cleared away. It is safe to use the main exit, and the elevator. More minor repairs are in progress. Some maintenance workers are checking how stable the roof is, and three windows need to be replaced. You are not in danger.”

She walked out behind him.

“…thanks.”

He smiled like he had been practicing.

It almost looked right.

She didn’t know what she was thankful for. His thoroughness? His effectiveness? His smile? She didn’t exactly hate any of those things, but processing all of those things at once was disturbing. She didn’t feel like she deserved that much consideration or protection. She was still adjusting to her new life. It didn’t feel like her life yet. Viole treated her like she was special, and Hansung begrudgingly behaved the same way. Watching her own blood pool in sample jars was indescribably strange.

All of this was.

She pinched her cheek, but she wasn’t dreaming. The front hall was abuzz with robots and Autobots. Hansung had brought out every machine that could clean. The path to the ship was spotless.

She ran, and threw herself in, because she didn’t want to deal with Hansung. A complimentary bottle of cucumber juice was sitting in her cupholder. She drank it, and the cost automatically drained out of her bank account. Viole closed the door, and she didn’t notice how close he was. She was staring at her screen with wide eyes.

“Hey…does that say twenty million credits?”

Viole squeezed her shoulder comfortingly.

“You’ve only just started working. Hansung pays his fertility workers less because he provides housing, and guards for them. Give it time. You’ll have a sizable amount of savings soon…and I can buy you whatever you need until then.”

She pushed the screen away, and growled.

“What could I possibly want…”

Her mouth closed, and she stopped herself.

He doesn’t think this is a big deal. I’m almost certain that Hansung gave me extra hush money. He admitted that he’s afraid too. Did he throw this much at me to get on my good side?

No one has ever paid to be on my good side before.

She was smirking, because she couldn’t help it.

“This is so ridiculous…”

Viole misunderstood.

“It is. I won’t call this company again. Their ships are very slow. By the way, where are we going? Most of the enhancement cafes are near the outer rim. Which one do you want to go to?”

She bit her tongue, and tried to remember the name.

Where did Apple take me?

I have to remember. It wasn't that long ago.

“Loo..La…Lausuma! It’s called Lausuma enter that in!”

Her hand was gripping his wrist tightly, but he couldn’t feel her desperate fear. She was too weak. He thought she was excited.

He entered the address.

“You still stutter sometimes. I thought you would grow out of that. It’s cute.”

Those two words bounced around her melting brain.

He knows I used to stutter, and he thinks that’s cute. That means he knew me before I turned ten. Doctors aren’t allowed to fix vocal cords until children turn ten. I don’t have my stutter anymore.

Who knew about it back then?

Who am I forgetting?

“I don’t stutter anymore, but my tongue slips sometimes. It isn’t cybernetic.”

She stuck her tongue out at him, and he laughed. The metal pieces on his jacket were resplendent. She looked like a thief next to him. Her slouch didn’t help. They didn’t match at all.

The ship stopped smoothly, but Viole looked annoyed.

“How old is this machine? It’s a hazard. I wasn’t going to do this, but I think I have to report this company. Seize Rides has been in business for six decades. They know how high flight standards are. This kind of turbulence is unacceptable.”

She opened the window.

“Um…we’re already here and it’s only been fifteen minutes. This ship is pretty nice.”

Viole opened his door.

“Pity isn’t kindness, Rachel. Rider safety comes above all else. Transport vehicles don’t run on wheels anymore. If something gives out the passenger is the one who suffers. This driver is automated. You should think of yourself first, like you usually do.”

She flinched.

Was that a jab?

Does he even like me?

She crawled out, and the ship looked fine on the outside. It was grey, and the interior was cushy and grey. It was plain, but she wasn’t cultured enough to be upset about that.

Viole guided her away from the ship like it was a screaming metal deathtrap.

Lausuma was discreet, but she noticed more details this time. An outline of a bee had been pressed into the doorknob, and the plants by the window smelled like perfume, not plants.

They both put their hands on the door at the same time.

Lausuma was busy, because most enhancer café’s are busy all day. Enhancer drinks are not classified as drugs, but she knew the emotion based powders were volatile. The mixed potions were teetering on the edge of legality.

You cannot be addicted to a certain type of emotion. That’s what my science instructor said. Nobody wants to be deliriously happy non stop. If that’s what you need hard drugs are the easiest choice. Then you get to feel pleasure and happiness. However, overworked citizens with human blood are vulnerable to certain emotions. They crave what they used to feel when they were innocent, or in love. Some of these customers do look like junkies, and these cafes are discreet for a reason. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Core closes them all soon.

Bees were crawling everywhere inside the glass display bar. The hexagonal hives were brimming with bugs. Their little bodies were humming and crawling all over each other. The perfume scent was stronger indoors. Bottles with oddly shaped spouts were sticking out from behind the register. The syrups were prettier than the powders. Those were all the same pale dust.

She locked eyes with the barista, who was way too loud.

“Welcome to Lausuma! What would you like?”

Viole has given me a couple of hints, but he’s a stranger. I don’t want to guess. I want to take a risk. I can’t get rid of him. Maybe he knows about my stutter because it’s in my record. Maybe I knew him, but that doesn't matter. I can’t turn back now.

She had no more time left to waste.

“I want a nostalgia drink please. Pure nostalgia. Nothing else. Put as many shots as you can in.”

I can trust him for now. He’ll protect me if I get drunk.

The barista nervously bowed and introduced herself. Her headphones looked like pink rabbit ears, and music was playing. They were vibrating. Her black apron was almost completely covering her petite frame. Her light brown eyes and hair had been decorated cutely. The song pouring out of her headphones was fast and upbeat.

Can she even hear me?

Is she using lip reading software?

“My name is Xia Xia. The Nostalgic Green is one of our most expensive drinks. It is a sweet watermelon milkshake. The flavor cannot be changed. The sugar masks the actual taste of the nostalgia. Would you like a membership card?”

She opened her screen.

“Can I have more shots if I buy a membership card?”

Xia Xia bowed again.

“Yes.”

Viole was right behind her.

She signed the membership card and the holographic piece of data flew into her file.

“I’ll have that drink. Thanks for the suggestion.”

The payment box starting glowing. She pressed it and winced.

1000 credits for a milkshake?

I have more money than the woman who tried to scam me now, but that’s a lot.

She pressed the buttons fast, because she was feeling the pressure. Viole was patient, but he was expectant. She didn’t know what he was expecting or what his mystery nickname was.

She accidentally gave the barista a one hundred percent tip.

Her rabbit ears fell off when the payment processed.

Xia bowed again.

“Ms. Rachel, all of our reserved seats aren’t full today. Please take one near the back. I would provide a guard for you, but you already have one. If you see someone rowdy…leave them be. Your guard will escort them away from you if needed. Come with me.”

She sucked in a breath she didn’t know she was holding. They followed Xia, and the café got even more intricate. The amount of bees increased. The hive wasn’t just part of the bar. It was an entire wall which curved around the back of the store.

Breathy voices were rising out of cozy booths. Her eyelids were heavy, because she wanted to be in bed. She had goosebumps. The sounds were giving her a bad feeling. Her stomach was flopping around like she had eaten something rotten.

Someone was moaning.

“Oh…oh…”

She stiffened.

“I missed you.”

It sounded like the lady was in pain. As they walked further into the hive her hunch was confirmed. The emotional enhancer uses were reuniting with loved ones, pets, and lost moments of glory. She could see and hear the psychological hell each customer was enduring.

One man was on his knees, under a table.

“Mom…”

He sounded so pathetic. So alone and out of it and tired. She almost reached out to him, but a suit worker was guarding his table. The live robot was holding a sign.

Seat 28

Occupied.

No one was quiet, and yet the back half of the café was silent. None of the groans and moans around her counted as conversations. Most of the customers were talking to themselves. They were hugging tables, and pillows, and the suits tasked with caring for them.

They were all alone.

I didn’t realize. I didn’t think grief could be monetized like this. It’s a brilliant business model. If you miss someone you can see them again. You just have to pay 1000 credits, and drink something sweet. It sounds so easy, and it’s so simple.

Xia gestured towards a table beside a hexagonal window.

“You have ordered one large Green Nostalgia. Would you like anything else?”

She pulled out her chair. It was made out of metal, but the purple cushion was soft. She couldn’t stop watching all of the crawling bugs in the walls. They were in the ceiling too, and they were hypnotizing.

“Can your bees fly?”

Xia shook her head.

“No, they have been selectively bred.”

Viole was standing behind her, because that was where he was supposed to be. He had adjusted to his role as a servant. Xia didn’t even suspect that he was anything more.

He's dressed better than me. He looks better than me, but I gave this girl 2000 credits. Now she thinks I’m a rich woman with a bodyguard.

I have all the power.

Will having money make everything this easy from now on? Will I think twenty million is a small amount, like Viole does, in the future?

I don't know if I want that.

“I don’t need anything else. Please leave and bring my drink quickly.”

Xia sprinted back to her post.

“Viole.”

He was calm.

“Yes?”

Too calm.

“Shouldn’t you be judging me? Only weak, sad people use enhancers for this. I told you I do it once a week. Why aren’t you saying anything?”

He touched her hair.

“Emotional enhancers cannot harm the body, and I don’t want you to hate me. I didn’t walk back into your life to control you. I want to be here, next to you. These powders don’t work on me, but I wanted to use them before. When I was still in the Bridge I tried to get some. I missed everything and you and being a kid. You’re doing exactly what I used to want. I can’t judge you for that. I can’t want it or use it anymore, but that would be hypocritical. I know giving into your emotions is wrong. I feel stronger without all of my irrational thoughts, but I miss them. It doesn’t affect my productivity, so I haven’t talked about this before. I want you to tell me about everything you see. Even if the memories that find you are toxic I want to hear about them. I very much want to hear your stories again. You used to tell me you wanted to catch stars in the Net. You didn’t know how big the stars were, or how big the net was. That idea of roping up the sky was so charming. It was a childish thing that only children could imagine. If you want to relive something like that I don’t blame you.”

There was no emotion in his voice. He was actively trying to inject warmth into it, but she couldn’t feel it.

“I…appreciate that.”

I hope this smoothie saves my life. He’s so…passionate about me. I’ll be torn apart if this is all a lie. I just know it. Urek won’t be able to wipe my memory. Viole will catch me first. I can’t even look at him directly anymore. His face in the window is telling me everything I need to know.

I don’t know what kind of love this is, but it is love.

Xia navigated trough the mass of groaning bodies to find them. Her peppy music was louder than before, and her smile was wider.

The watermelon milkshake was green. Dark green. It looked like blended pine needles and grass. The cloud of whipped cream on top didn’t make it look more appetizing.

Xia was gone.

Viole was looking over her shoulder.

She gasped when his lips touched the straw.

He took the first sip.

“I love watermelon. I can still guard you effectively, so just relax. The powder will filter through my system, but I still have taste buds. It's good. Try it.”

She did, but she blushed when she sucked on the straw.

If I was an immature little kid I’d care about indirect kisses, but this is a deadly situation. I’m not thinking about that.

Not at all.

The potion was creamy, and she had to suck hard. The cream on top was already melting. She didn’t love the fruity taste. She preferred more mature drinks. The green goo tasted like nostalgia. It tasted like something only children enjoy. It was like drinking a summer day or having sticky fingers. It was all kinds of emotions, and not all of them were positive.

She straightened up.

“I feel normal. I don’t think she gave me enough.”

The bees were talking about something. They were all angry, because they couldn’t fly. They could only die and produce honey. She cried when some drones pulled new, miserable larva out of the hive walls.

“It’s such a cruel cycle. We should protest. They’ve enslaved a whole society! Bee rights!”

Her head was on the table. Viole’s shadow was getting longer, and the stars were brighter. The net wasn’t blocking them anymore. She was in the night sky, and her mother was making pancakes. Another house was coming closer. It was sliding down the street, and bumping up against her front door. She was looking out of her bedroom window at the flaming sky. Then she tumbled out and fell into the other house she didn’t remember.

She was shaking Viole’s hand, and grinning at him. The edge of her bottom lip was green, and she felt content.

Whole.

“Ufufufufufu…huff….hahahaha…”

She was on the floor.

Viole pulled her up and put her back in her chair.

Someone else was in the house she didn’t remember.

“Baam…stop hiding from me…ugh…”

Who's Baam?

He was hugging her.

“There. I knew you’d forgive me if I went along with one of your schemes. I’ll help you get over your nostalgia cravings. We can make new fun memories from now on.”

The bees were gone. She couldn’t see or hear him. She was holding a mop bucket. Her elderly neighbors were telling her they didn’t need help, but she wanted to be a hero.

She cried pathetically in the real world.

The mop bucket fell over, but she kicked it back up. She wanted to become heroic, and popular. Good people get lots of love, and that was her real goal. She had to search for good deeds to reach it. All of the neighbors had robots, but she didn’t want to give up.

A doorbell rang, and she knocked on a house that she had never seen before.

She walked in without permission, because she was a stupid kid. A stupid kid who didn’t get enough positive reinforcement at home.

A sheltered girl that didn’t know what a monster was.

The door closed, and then reality was gone.

When she woke up she was seven years old.

Chapter Text

Baam.

She could hear water rushing inside her head.

Did I say that?

Who is that?

Her consciousness was floating further and further away. She resurfaced for a moment. Seeing her seven year old self was too jarring. She knew it was wrong. Something was wrong. She wanted to wake up.

I have his name.

I don’t need to be here.

Her lungs filled with air, and she tried to return to her own body.

Wear off.

Please.

I don’t want to see my crappy childhood.

Rachel wasn’t actually used to emotional enhancers. First time buyers often experience emotional fluctuations before the drugs take effect. No form of science is perfect, and enhancers are famously unstable. She was surrounded by evidence. The other café patrons were moaning in both agony and joy. Only the most addicted regulars were feeling pure catharsis. The nerves in their real bodies had been dulled, and the tissues in their brains had been altered by constant exposure.

She was still fresh and raw.

Rachel tried to roll out of her chair, away from the gooey milkshake, but Viole pushed her back down.

She was experiencing something that most new users go through.

Denial, and doubt.

This is only a dream.

It has to be.

The green drink was only capable of digging up certain memories. The ones she felt the most nostalgia for. The enhancement drugs were burrowing around inside her. They were searching for the best moments that would give her the most pleasurable trip. Her rebellious mind was about to be crushed by a wave of goodness.

It was surging up.

Her childhood was just a source of pleasure that it was trying to extract. It tore through the rest of her to find nuggets of joy and small victories.

The smile on her face felt fake, but the elation in her heart was real.

It stabbed into her, in a good way.

Where…am I going?

Her face was red in the real world. She struggled like a fly in a web. The buzzing noises in the hive were making her sleepy. Her emotional range had been whittled down to two sensations.

Pleasure, and honest curiosity.

The rough, cynical, mature parts of her fell away.

She regressed and found happiness.

When her heart throbbed tears burned behind her eyes. Viole guided her chin forward, and she drank more green juice.

“I’m…gone.”

She physically could not feel afraid. Viole touched her head when she started giggling.

Rachel’s forehead landed on the table. Her cheek rubbed against it. She couldn’t see Viole anymore. She also could not feel anything. Her mind was experiencing every facet of her past. She could touch it, taste it, and smell it.

She ceased to be against her will.

.

“Hello?”

Nobody answered.

Her pink child safety sneakers were glowing. It was night time. Her parents were asleep. They were always asleep. Good workers like to go to bed early, because getting up early is a good habit.

The wheels on her wagon squeaked.

Their daughter was currently loitering in somebody’s backyard. An unlocked white gate had just closed behind her. She was wearing grey sweatpants, and a historical planetarium hoodie. Her curly hair was trapped in a very short ponytail. She smelled like apple shampoo, and she looked like a troublemaker.

She was.

Her neighbors didn’t like her, and the other children thought she was too weak and dumb to play with.

Rachel didn’t know that yet, because she was seven. Her tiny heart was stuffed full of boundless optimism. She thought being helpful and selfless was the answer. She didn’t understand why nobody needed her help.

The sky is so beautiful.

I wish the Net wasn’t in the way.

I want to see it all.

I will.

Someday I’ll be a captain.

Robots and automated workers clean up trash. Robots are also capable of babysitting small pets and children. When Rachel kindly offered to do those things she looked like an idiot.

A happy idiot from a poor family that could barely afford to live near the Nest.

She whistled obliviously.

Rachel sauntered towards the odd house at the edge of the neighborhood with confidence.

Her wagon full of cleaning supplies was bumping around behind her.

I haven’t met the new neighbor yet. Nobody has. I want to be the first neighbor they meet. I’ll help clean the house if they don’t have a robot.

She looked around.

Maybe it’s a family.

I want to make my first friend.

Most of the households in her white neighborhood had helper robots. The beeping machines also functioned as security guards. She couldn’t hear any engines or wheels whirring near the old house.

It was wide open.

It looked old. It had not been updated for the new owner. The white plaster bricks were turning yellow, and the sliding door didn’t have a window on it. The mystery house looked less welcoming than the other residential units.

That excited her.

Rachel wanted to be praised for her selfless desire to help others. All of her plans before today had failed. Her parents wanted her to become a good worker. The neighbors didn’t want her help, and they didn’t want their children to turn out like her.

She was the local laughingstock, but she didn’t know that yet.

Confident little Rachel knew she would be a heroic leader someday.

Her parents were embarrassed.

None of their habits had rubbed off on her. Little Rachel was a ball of social energy. She didn’t like organized sports, science, or math. She loved to play outside, but she didn’t like to spend money. Even the most benevolent shopkeepers were annoyed by her. She didn't buy candy like the other children. She liked to collect rocks. The raggedy adventurer loved to wander aimlessly and seek attention from strangers.

Her parents had been reprimanded by concerned citizens several times. Their weird daughter was their fault, and the other adults that had to deal with her were running out of patience.

This was not her first break in.

Rachel tended to bumble into private spaces, and expensive gardens, during her adventures.

Her eyes were wide with wonder.

My first friend is in there.

I know it.

She circled around the occupied house that looked abandoned.

She walked straight into danger alone.

Her parents were too addicted to their routine to care. Her best memories were mostly about breaking rules and sneaking outside. So, she didn’t think about her family. The magic milkshake didn’t let her. It gently pushed her towards a tender moment. Little Rachel had been rejected countless times. That was the only thing she could remember, but the nostalgia enhancer knew that one real friend was hiding inside her brain.

It pushed past a barrier.

Both versions of Rachel flinched.

“Ugh.”

Static exploded around her. She could hear white noise. It was getting louder. Little Rachel had a headache, but she knocked on the back door anyway.

“Hello! Your gate is unlocked! Are you unpacking? Do you need help? Are you new in town? Did you just move to the outskirts?”

Her chatty attitude had quickly died after a few years in school. The girl from the past was nearly unrecognizable. She was beyond excited to speak to and knowingly bother strangers. She was impolite, brash, and sunny.

When the door creaked she didn’t run or scream in fear.

She yelled some more.

“Hey! Your front door is unlocked too! That’s bad! Is your generator running?”

The basic security screen beside it was pitch black.

Rachel gasped.

“Oh no.”

The new neighbor is poorer than us. They can’t afford their grid bills. That’s so sad.

I have to go help them.

She selfishly pulled the sliding door open to save someone that had not asked for help. The appliances in the kitchen were live, but the house felt dead. The new owner didn’t even have a vacuum bot. Everything was dusty.

Rachel sneezed.

“Ugh. I’m gonna need more soap.”

The creaky house wasn’t a total pigsty, but it didn’t feel occupied. Nothing beeped or flashed when she pulled her wagon past the kitchen. The bedroom light was on, but it was empty.

She peeked.

“It looks like my doctor’s office.”

The bed was skinny. The sheets on it were white and the walls were colorless. She couldn’t see any pictures or active screens.

This house isn’t very big. The owner has to be in the living room.

She waddled there with her wagon, and found one screen. A child was sitting in front of it. The show wasn’t very exciting. It was a documentary about plants, and greenhouse farming. Skilled hands were plucking seeds out of extra large harvest sunflowers. The yellow screen was the only spot of color in the house. The figure on the couch was smaller than her.

It looked harmless enough, and she was curious.

“Um…your door is open. Both of them are.”

The child squawked. A long, white shirt flapped. She watched a body fall to the floor, and she winced when she heard a thump. Her new neighbor recovered quickly. The lean child scrambled away on all fours.

“Hey.”

She pursued the fleeing figure. Both of them didn’t get far. The living room was quite small.

“Where are your parents?! I like to help people. That’s why I’m here. Are they at work? Are they automated workers too? My parents are automated workers.”

The child curled up in a ball at her feet. That made her pause.

She stared down at a pile of flowy brown hair. It was long enough to touch the floor.

“Wow! You have a lot of hair! Who are you?”

The hair monster shifted away from her.

“W-who? I can’t tell you.”

She cornered it.

“Did your parents say you can’t talk to strangers? That’s good advice, but I’m a kid. You can trust me.”

The child whimpered.

“You should leave.”

She dropped her wagon handle.

“Why? Are you already friends with the other kids? I can help you. We can unpack together. I…don’t want to go home. There’s nothing to do there. It’s boring. I’ll show you where the park is if you let me play with…”

A smooth hand wrapped around her wrist.

“I would love to but…”

Rachel wanted to kick a rock.

She had no way to vent her frustration. She didn’t understand why she got rejected by everyone, all the time.

Another hand caught her other wrist.

“I want to but I can’t tell you my name, and we can’t leave. I have to stay in here.”

Her frown vanished.

“Really? Ok! Are your parents on a business trip? Wait…why can’t I know your name? Is this a prank?”

The child was still looking down. Rachel suspected that it was a girl. She had a pretty voice, and very long hair. Her long shirt looked like a nightgown.

“It’s not but I can’t tell you anything.”

She couldn’t tell if the child was younger or older than her. Her heartbeat was moving fast. She wanted to watch sunflower documentaries with a friend.

Everything is better with a friend.

Even boring things.

Joy mixed with her nostalgia.

“Ok. Can I give you a nickname?”

The pretty girl stuttered before she looked up.

“S-sure.”

Static bloomed everywhere. Black and white dots tried to ruin the illusion. They crawled over the screen, and the couch, and the walls.

Her brand new friend looked up. 

The child had been blacked out by static. It had no face. The shocking sight almost broke the nostalgia spell, but it knitted back together when they laughed.

Rachel tried to break free.

My memories were tampered with.

Shit.

I have to get out of here.

Why the hell would the government erase my memories? I was a child.

I could have died.

Something very illegal happened here.

Or maybe I saw something I shouldn’t have.

That something might be him.

The “girls” laughed at nothing and ran around the dusty house. They were both flying high on happiness, and both “girls” weren’t very good at socializing. They meshed together well. They were similar in plenty of delightfully odd ways. They played tag and other simple games that the other children were too smart to enjoy.

Their laugher echoed in the abandoned house.

The creepy sound didn’t scare her, because she felt safe.

Rachel instantly fell in love with her new friend. A friend was better than any toy or hobby. Playing was just as enjoyable as watching the stars, and it wasn’t lonely.

Her sneakers were flashing. The girl with a static face appeared randomly in the dark, like a monster. She didn’t have a mouth, but she was happy. Both versions of Rachel could hear it in her voice.

“I have popsicles. Want one?”

That is Viole, isn’t it?

It has to be.

The hair is the same color.

Was he a secret Cyber Soldier candidate back then?

Is that why someone reached inside my head?

Some rich fucking sponsor didn’t want me near their special boy.

That would be the simplest answer.

A box cracked open.

They ate chilly sour cherry ice until their lips hurt. The bloody color made a mess, but Rachel loved it. She wasn’t allowed to wear makeup, so the icy lipstick made her feel pretty.

“You look pretty. How do I look?”

She waited for a compliment in return. She never gave one away for free.

The face made of static was bleeding.

“You look pretty, Rachel.”

Their squeals of joy were loud enough to bother the hardworking commuters outside.

She forgot what being lonely felt like as soon as someone let her in. Being accepted and liked was better than any nostalgic feeling. The drug latched on to that sensation and cranked it up.

Rachel groaned like a motor, but she couldn’t wake up.

Who did it?

Who threw me into a machine and scrambled me up?

I hope I see them before this nightmare ends.

I need to know who to avoid.

She was too happy to escape.

The “girls” held hands and watched flowers grow on a dim screen together. They twisted friendship bracelets in the dark.

“Do you like the color red, Rachel? Is that why you like lipstick?”

She shrugged.

“I guess.”

Her static infected friend blew a raspberry in disgust.

“I think lipstick is icky. I like bracelets more.”

Rachel protested.

“You have to try it! It’s a woman thing. We’ll both understand when we’re older.”

Rachel was smiling, so she assumed the static beast was grinning too.

“Nope. You can’t make me. No lipstick.”

Rachel gave up.

“What color bracelet do you want?”

Her friend didn’t have a face or a lot of personal preferences. The girl made of static liked to copy her.

“I want red. We should match.”

The artsy craft required more patience and popsicles.

The round bands were made of spare fabric from a drawer in the kitchen. Her friend was very good with her hands. They played and twisted fabric for hours until she had to sneak back into her own bed.

She left sorrowfully, with slumped shoulders and a scowl.

The girl followed her outside, but she stopped on the doorstep. She waved furiously, and tossed a red bracelet into her wagon.

“Come back tomorrow!”

Being wanted felt amazing.

“I will!”

Rachel didn’t give her a random nickname on day one. She thought about it seriously. When she couldn’t think of the perfect nickname she let the issue go. She let her pretty friend keep all of her secrets, and they stayed together for a long time.

A long, long, time.

An unforgettable amount of time.

Her brain was suddenly aware of the giant hole within it.

The nostalgia enhancer was trying to hold her illusion together valiantly, but it was falling apart. Static was eating through the edges of it.

Little Rachel fell through the earth and landed in three years later.

“Rachel.”

She was slightly less little.

Her pretty friend had a brassy voice, but she was still slim and shrouded in long hair. She couldn’t see that he was a boy, because she was dumb, and he didn’t have a face. The static sparks had gored into his neck. He was still wearing white, and they were still trapped in his backyard. He refused to leave, and Rachel didn’t like being alone anymore. Going home hurt. She spent her days and nights with a “girl” without a name.

A liar that had told her nothing.

“Have you thought of a nickname yet?”

She rolled over in the artificial grass behind the gate.

“No. I think you’re going to tell me your name someday.”

The static didn’t move, but the body attached to it shifted forward.

“I will. I promise, but I want a name from you too. I want to hear you call for me. Being called “girl” or “you” feels weird.”

She looked up at the sky.

“Why? You are a girl.”

The static ball laughed shakily.

“Yeah…but I want to be your best friend. Best friends share nicknames.”

She smacked his leg.

“You are. You’re still my only friend. I wish I could tell the other kids about you. They think I’m a loner, but I’m not. I have a best friend.”

He touched her knee.

“You can’t tell them. You can’t even tell your parents. Just keep telling everyone that you hang out inside the planetarium. You have to.”

She grumbled.

“Only little kids go to that dinky planetarium. I don’t hate it, but I’m ten now. I want to go somewhere with you. Somewhere cool. We could buy matching hoverboards. They’re not that expensive, and they’re fun. Everybody has one but me. I feel like I’m stuck here….”

The static was an inch away from her face, but little Rachel didn’t flinch. Best friends get close and they even cuddle all the time.

She was used to it.

“You do? Are you going to leave me?”

His shrill voice was frantic.

He hugged her arm, and she thought he was a girl, so she let it happen. She didn’t know a single thing about the pile of static by her side. That was bugging her.

She was kind of mad.

“Come to school with me one time. Then I won’t be mad at you. I’ll even give you a nickname. Pinky promise.”

Their shortest fingers locked together.

The static clouds started to multiply. They was blocking out the stars, and touching her pink feet. Her sneakers were scuffed now. She had adventured lots in them, but she wanted more. One friend wasn’t enough. An old garden under the sky wasn’t enough.

She wanted the other kids to think she was cool.

Her very best friend shuddered violently when they stepped over the threshold. Static was spreading out from under his slippered feet.

He destroyed the illusion more every time he stepped away from the house.

They didn’t make it to the school.

It melted, and more static devoured it. The haze was more black than white. When she tried to wave at the other students her arm turned to dust.

A teacher saw them, and her friend lifted her up. He panicked and took her away. He ran all the way to the planetarium with her in his arms. Rachel looked up. The little version of her could see how much pain he was in, even though his face was buried in static.

“Are you ok? Also why didn’t you tell me you have cybernetic parts? How much weight can you carry? Did you buy fast legs? Can you float?”

Her only friend stopped, and he hugged her.

They were underneath a model of the mother planet. It was rounder than her head, and it was very small within the span of the universe. The estimated size of the mud ball that had birthed them all was like a dust mote in the wind. Planets the size of their Earth disappeared everyday. It was commonplace, but the humans that were left loved to tell stories and legends about Earth. Bones, scales, and even bits of fur had been preserved lovingly in hovering cases. The scraps of forgotten trash were being treated like gold that was too precious to touch the ground.

She comforted him in the wrong way.

“Don’t cry. You’ll ruin your pretty face. Are you sad because you can’t go to school with me? Are you afraid of crowds? Your parents are never home, so you have to get used to people. Tell them you don’t want to study in the living room anymore.”

The wall of static looked at her.

“I have passed every test.”

She struggled, but she couldn’t back away.

The static was closing in.

“You did? Good for you. I’m sure you’re qualified to go to a regular academy. I’m not that great and I got in.”

He hugged her even tighter. Little Rachel was slightly suspicious of the firmness of his body, but she trusted her friend.

The only friend that wanted her.

The static shifted.

“I have to leave soon…and I still can’t tell you anything. I don’t want you to think I hate you. I can’t go outside with you. I want to but it’s against the rules.”

She fooled herself into believing that she was looking at another normal girl. She let herself believe that her nameless friend had strict parents. When she held his hands she jerked her chin up.

“See that?”

His voice cracked.

“Huh? Yes…that’s Earth.”

She dragged him down to the floor with her. Heady nostalgia was making this moment even sweeter. That day under the planetarium had changed her friend. She became the hero she always wanted to be when she named him.

“Earth wasn’t as boring as all the fancy science teachers say it is. It’s in the twenty fourth quadrant of the known universe. Lots of different species are afraid of visiting the Net today, because we’re a few jumps away from the twenty fifth quadrant. Early space captiains called it the Eternal Night. They also called it the New Bermuda Triangle, but no one knows what that means. Ancient humans talk funny. Anyway, It’s a part of the universe that nobody on this side can see. The colors and creatures that exist in there are too dark for our eyes to understand. Isn’t that cool?”

He was kneeling next to her, but she eventually managed to pull him down with her. They looked up at Mother Earth, and the stars above the clear ceiling together. The planetarium was the only thing left in the illusion. They were the only two humans left.

She was the only one with a face.

“It is.”

She heard her own thoughts from that day.

I know you’re a boy. Your house makes me sad. You’re always alone there. I thought I was the loneliest girl in the neighborhood before you came.

I’ll miss you.

She didn’t say that.

“I love mysteries. Looking at the sky makes me think about how small I am, and I think that’s wonderful. I don’t want to be stuck inside the Net forever. I want to go places no human has ever gone to before. Doesn’t that sound silly? Our politicians have seen the whole universe. More advanced creatures have told us all the secrets of the universe. Growing old doesn’t even matter any more. Nobody wants to go on adventures, because everything has already been done. You’re my first mystery. I haven’t been able to figure you out. You’re just like a twenty fifth quadrant behind the last visible stars. I read all the stories. I know the name of the great captain that named that place. He knew how to speak one of the mother tongues. One of the really old ones that was only used on one tiny part of Earth. He called himself Korean, and his name was Mr. Leesoo. The word “night” sounded like “Baam” in his language. They didn’t have a universal language, so old humans knew so many different sounds. They had very beautiful names too.”

The static was looking at her.

Little Rachel smiled back at it.

“Is my nickname Baam?”

They watched a huge transport ship approach the Net together.

“Yup. It’s pretty, just like you.”

He hissed.

“Stop calling me pretty.”

They didn’t move for a very long time. The static was still moving closer. They were holding hands.

If you don’t like it that much just admit you’re a boy.

He didn’t.

“I have to go to a special school. I’ll come back to see you after I graduate. Then, I’ll introduce myself.”

With that sentence he admitted that she didn’t know him. She stared up at the ships without blinking, because she didn’t want to cry.

He wasn’t the only one who was worried about getting left behind.

“Do you think you’ll forget about me?”

He didn’t make a joke. Her fake friend knew how to be sincere.

“You’re my most important person, Rachel. I have to take this chance, but I’m not taking it because I want to leave you behind. I can’t go to a regular school, but I wish I could. I’m going to daydream about it.”

She could almost see his eyes under the blurry filter.

“No you won’t. You’ll be busy. I’ll be busy too.”

Baam pinched her cheek.

“It doesn’t matter. I won’t get distracted. I have a goal. I’m going to come back to you.”

She snorted.

“That’s not a goal. Hmph. I’ll try not to forget you. Make sure you do something cool when I meet you. Then maybe I’ll like you again.”

Her ponytail was tangled.

His long hair was frizzy too.

They looked like kids who shouldn’t be having such a serious conversation.

The sky was cracking. White bolts made of static were crushing the stars. Little Rachel didn’t react at all, because she wasn’t real. Her fondest memories weren’t really happening either. She was just seeing snippets of them through a nostalgic lens. Those snippets had been cut by a memory wiping machine as well.

You’re my favorite person too.

She was surprised that she could understand what was going on at all. The static was noisy, disruptive, and pitch black in the middle. Their tiny bodies were curled up in the blackest, most snarled part of her best memory.

“You will remember me. I know you will.”

He believed that because he was a child, who had to hang on to hope to live. Reality doesn’t work like that.

A needle jammed into her thin neck, and then her friend disappeared.

She forgot exactly what she was supposed to forget.

.

Rachel gagged.

Her milkshake cup was empty, and she was dehydrated, even though her stomach was full of liquid. She was seeing red, and bees, and her tongue felt swollen. Her nails grazed and unfamiliar sleeve, and when she looked up she saw a strange face. The newcomer was sitting right next to Viole like they were all friends, but he didn’t look happy.

She sounded drunk.

“Who are you?”

There were two short, gnarled horns growing out of the back of his human looking throat.

“Drink water. I came to talk to him. Come down from your high at your own pace. Don’t worry I didn’t come to bother you. Enjoy your stay in my café.”

His café?

Viole beamed, and his attention landed on her.

“How was your nostalgia trip?”

I found what I wanted to know, but now I have a million more problems to deal with.

“It’s great…I don’t think it’s done yet.”

Baam stabbed me before the government took him away for training.

He was crazy enough to think I could remember him with a cleanly wiped brain.

That’s bad news.

That means he’s always been abnormal.

She groaned.

Viole’s friend pushed an icy cold glass towards her. He had blond hair and blonder eyes. She thought he was attractive, even though he wasn’t her usual type. The intense stimulation in her was making her unusually horny. She didn’t know how to deal with that. Even the dryness in her throat felt good.

This emotional shit should be illegal.

I can feel how addictive it is, even though the illusion part is over.

Her twitchy hands knocked over her empty milkshake glass.

Her distorted reflection looked loopy. Her jaw felt slack. Her entire body was on edge in the best way. She was blushing like mad. Her heartbeat was rubbing against her ribcage.

Viole didn’t sound concerned. His sensors could see she was having a good time.

“Do you need help?”

Her knees pressed together.

“Yes. My legs feel like jelly. I need to go to the bathroom. I don’t think I can’t find it right now. All of the colors in this room are brighter than usual. I will walk into something.”

Viole pulled her wobbly hips out of her chair.

His friend sighed.

“I’ll be waiting.”

She touched his silky black jacket before Viole hauled her away. The man let her, because he could see how inebriated she was.

Everything was prettier and more intense than usual. Her ears hummed when anyone raised their voice. Viole looked even more handsome. His sharp features reminded her of a cat, and she wanted to touch something cute. She pinched him and cooed like he was half her age.

“You were so pretty. What happened to you? You look so tough now…haha…”

Viole looked flattered.

“Did you see me during your trip?”

She slumped against a bathroom stall door. Her thighs were trembling. Her skin was overly sensitive, and she could smell him. Her cyborg escort smelled like clean laundry and lime. The vaugely sweet cologne made her feel hungry.

“I did. The whole time…”

She drunkenly bit his neck and he didn’t stop her. He teased her accidentally with every touch. She moaned before he could open the door. Her leg hooked over his coat awkwardly, and she stumbled closer to him. Concentrated, confusing flames were gathering between her unsteady legs.

Viole analyzed the situation.

“I did not expect this. I read some articles about enhancers while you were on your trip. They aren’t supposed to arouse frequent users. The mixer must have given you too much. Hold still. I will end your trip by force.”

Mortification stunned her. It numbed her sense of shame temporarily. She watched his hand push underneath her soft track pants. She didn't stop him. His nails touched a vulnerable spot too carelessly, and she winced. Her hips jerked away from him, but his palm searched until it settled over her underwear.

I have to say no.

She didn't.

She sobbed when he rubbed her clit. It was not a fearful sound, or a regretful one. Her vision blurred when her knees locked. She stared at the shiny buckles on his boots while he punished her clit. Her back hit his chest and that made being touched more unbearable. She couldn’t avoid him, or pretend to be somewhere else. Her disheveled, wrinkled track suit was in the bathroom mirror. She was back in reality, and she had to face it. She looked like a mess. Her panties were wet. When she came she left a stain on his clean hand.

"There. Are you finished now? Should I do it again?"

Her tongue popped out of her mouth. An emotion deeper than shame made her shake when he didn't kiss her. He was just watching her robotically. It was like he thought taking care of her bodily functions was part of his duties.

She shuddered when she realized it was.

"Call a ship. Hansung needs a sample from me."

He held her up with one arm.

"There is some congestion above us. It will take thirty minutes for the ship to arrive. Please practice breathing evenly before we go. I'm worried about you. We should talk to Wangnan. You'll like him. Do not push yourself. Your blood pressure is very high. Unaugmented bodies can collapse without warning. Show me you can stand by yourself before we head back."

She nodded.

"I will."

Chapter Text

Thirty minutes.

I can change in thirty minutes.

I can’t cry.

She felt sticky and gross. There were reflective tiles on the floor. Bees were crawling through them. She looked like she had a fever, and she was biting her lip. She was hugging her own arm too. She didn’t want to touch Baam. When he offered his arm she did not take it.

I look like a pervert.

Baam was guiding her back to the same table. Another customer was being escorted out by an Autobot. He almost bumped into Baam, even though the Autobot was trying its best to assist him. Rachel couldn’t look the man in the eye. He had dry lips, just like her, and he was licking them. Even though his trip was technically over it was still affecting him.

The Autobot beeped.

An automatic, pre-scripted, glowing message raced across its oval face.

--Sir, if you cannot stand I must bring you to the ship dock station. I will accompany you until a public service ship picks you up--

She was in the same boat. When she stepped forward her thighs rubbed together. She felt too hot. Her heart was pumping lava, not blood. She wanted to sleep nude on top of cool sheets. When she breathed in a ticklish feeling pushed up her nose. It was like someone had thrown a handful of pepper at her face.

I’ve masturbated before, but this is different. I don’t know how to fix this. I want to cry. Preferably in a shower. I have to wait until this finally wears off.

I’m helpless.

Wangnan glanced at her.

He had a glass of water, and nothing else. A crystal pitcher and extra glasses had been set down for them.

I can’t even think about what I just saw. Viole was a Cyber Solider candidate at a really young age. He couldn’t tell me his name or his gender. He was desperately lonely too, and that doesn’t make sense. Talented kids destined for the Bridge and government success don’t get left alone. Viole…I mean Baam…shouldn’t have been alone.

What am I missing?

Why did the government leave him in an old house near the outskirts? Nobody special lived in my neighborhood.

She tried her best to control her facial expression, because she didn’t want Baam to help her again. Something deeper than shame was twisting in her stomach.

He watched. He was touching me and he didn’t react at all. I know his body has been augmented. He can’t feel that sort of thing without signing permission paperwork beforehand, but this is humiliating.

I came on him and he doesn’t even understand why I’m not looking at him.

A bolt of electricity shoved up between her thighs.

“Ugh.”

She had a swallow a wad of spit.

This shit should be banned.

Emotional enhancers aren’t like inhalable drugs. They are absorbed through the stomach, and digested like any other food. There is no escape. Once you ingest it you have to deal with the consequences, unless you manage to purge your stomach minutes after you swallow. It was too late. Hours too late. Her lips were more sensitive than open wounds.

Do all first time users suffer like this?

I want to lie down forever.

Baam greeted his friend.

“We’re back. I called a ship. We won’t be loitering in your café for long. Did you come out because you wanted to speak to me, or do you want to talk about the legal status of your business investments?”

His voice made her ears pound.

Do I call him Baam or Viole? Is it a cutesy nickname that I’m not supposed to use in formal situations? What kind of situation is this? Wangnan might not be a friend. Cyber Soldiers don’t have a ton of those. Is this his café, or is he just a manager?

Should I keep my mouth shut while they talk about laws?

Sitting down was a mistake.

Her teeth clicked.

I have to distract myself somehow. I’m weaker than a fly right now, and I want to come. It’s like I’m being touched on the inside. No one is looking my way, but I’m in public.

I can’t come.

I don’t want to.

“I know what my legal status is, Viole. I’ll be shutting down all six of my Lausuma branches before the laws update. I know the hammer is about to come down. I never wanted to inherit these…businesses. I won’t be sad when they close.”

Baam pushed a glass of water into her hand.

“You can always reopen after you adjust your formulas. Emotional enhancers will still be legal below a certain concentration level.”

Wangnan giggled.

His voice was higher than Baams. She couldn’t stop staring at his horns. They were somehow familiar.

“The new allowable concentration level is two percent. Most of my customers drink ten. Your…friend here just drank a thirty. A bunch of angry addicts will knock on my door if I open a store with a two percent limit. I will have to start another business.”

I’ve seen those horns before.

Baam sounded diplomatic. The emotion in his voice that he had when he was speaking to her wasn’t here.

“Urek and his team will assist you. As per the After Agreement the sons of Jahad must live fulfilling, and productive lives.”

She froze.

Jahad?

The Jahad?

The narcissistic “Commander” that was executed and replaced by Urek before I was born?

She was blatantly staring at Wangnan, but the man was clearly used to stares. Her gawking didn’t effect him.

“If you had human eyes you would look worried, Viole. Don’t panic and call the Core. I will visit Urek and tell him all about my plans for my future. I know the government gets nervous when I move, and I get it. I won’t leave any details out of my report.”

Viole didn’t look worried to her.

“I will tell him that. Book your appointment soon.”

Wangnan flicked his glass.

“I will, mom. Thanks for the reminder.”

He looked like a smaller, more harmless version of Jahad. Even though he wasn’t augmented in any way he was still recognizable. There were lovely black lines around his eyes that looked like makeup tattoos. They were all natural. Jahad’s were the exact same shape. The horns were the same too, and his electric blond hair was another exact match.

I’m shocked that the sons of his concubines are still alive, but I guess they were innocent. Jahad was the first prototype Cyber Soldier. Nobody could go against him until other experimental soldiers were upgraded in secret.

His children suffered too.

They didn’t get preferential treatment.

She drank her water.

It tasted bad.

Her body wanted more nostalgia.

Baam isn’t allowed to have a full range of emotions because Jahad was that unstable. He believed he was the reincarnation of every ancient Earth king. There were giant statues of him everywhere in the Nest. People and foreign guests all lived in fear, but no dignitary could reject his invitation. His weapon range was too wide for anyone to ignore.

He thought he had to divine right to kill whoever he wanted.

The new democratic leadership Core decided that Jahad was the ultimate example and error.

Beings above a certain power level can’t be biased anymore. They can’t have any strong opinions, because corruption is inevitable. Cyber Soldiers were developed with that creed in mind because of Jahad.

I wonder what being part of such a horrible family was like.

Baam gave him a warning, because that was his duty.

“Wangnan Ja. You must report to the Main Core within two weeks, after you dissolve your café assets. The grace period after that is only two days, as per the After Agreement. You have been given an advance warning about the upcoming law changes. Use your extra time wisely. Use it to create an extremely thorough report.”

Wangnan rolled his eyes.

“Yeah. Yeah. I know. I’m not allowed to disappear. I’ve gotta be easily traceable. I get it. Viole, I’m glad the laws are changing. No man needs the amount of money I have. I think I should open a couple of pharmacies. I wanna feel useful to society. Enhancer powders aren’t useful.”

Viole asked an uncomfortable question.

It made her flinch.

“Are you preparing to get married? You are allowed, but you must include your partner in your reports.”

Wangnan chugged his water.

“Ha! No. I know Urek is pretty damn benevolent, but he wants my bloodline to die with me. My brother already got transferred into a roboshell body, because he wanted to leave the Net. I don’t want to leave, and I like my body, so I’m going to behave. Dating is pointless for me anyway. Every woman that has ever flirted with me wanted to revive the old regime. My dating life is more depressing than a war. You’re Viole’s partner, right? I bet you understand why I don’t want to date. It's too much trouble.”

She stuttered.

Baam’s eyes were on her now.

“W-w-what do you mean?”

Wangnan nudged her shoulder. He didn’t know she was a first time user. He was speaking to her like she was alert and ready to be questioned.

“Don’t play dumb. Getting caught up in political bullshit sucks. Did you meet him at one of those stupid socialization balls? What planet are you from? Wait, you look really human. What family are you from? You must be dying for some personal space now. Cyber Soldiers, politicians, and members of the elite main Core are all terrible at dating. They’re all so damn detached, until they see something they like. Urek will never fucking admit it, but his finest servants are kinda like my dad. Aggressive. Possessive. Inconsiderate. All of that shit is just locked up under hormone blockers and metal.”

She rubbed her thighs together. Her legs were twitching too much. Wangnan had not noticed. Her clenched teeth looked like a smile.

Oh fuck he’s right.

Baam shoved a memory needle in my neck, and he thinks he’s the most important person in my life. He thinks I like him just as much as he likes me. Hansung could see how scared I was in the beginning, but he couldn’t.

“How did you meet? What happened? When Urek made the announcement I replayed it. I thought he was kidding for a second. I didn’t think Viole would get attached after the final surgery, you know? He wasn’t very emotional before he got it.”

She tried to laugh.

“It’s a funny story. We met when we were children. We fought, but then he came back to me after his operation.”

Urek announced my existence.

I’m doomed.

Wangnan poured more water for her.

“Aw. That’s kind of sweet. Better than most of the stories I hear. You were a good guy before you went under the knife, Viole. Try your best, please. Read some books about human behaviour. Don’t make her lonely.”

Viole looked offended.

“I won’t.”

Wangnan turned towards her. His elbows landed on the table. He was a little too close.

“You’re like me now. You can’t get married too. Unless...you know...you two can work something out. Doesn’t it feel strange?”

I didn’t think I would ever get married, but yes.

It does.

Her fever was somehow still growing.

“It does.”

Baam touched her knee.

“Why? You were angry, but you didn’t take anyone else. Didn’t you wait for me?”

How arrogant.

Now I understand why he’s close with that Aguero snob.

They’re alike.

If I say I forgot him will he even believe me?

She patted his cheek.

“What time is it? Is our ship running late?”

Viole squeezed her knee.

“I called a more reputable company. It is waiting outside.”

She wanted to hiss.

Then why didn’t you tell me? I’m dying. I’m going to lose control if we don’t leave soon.

Can't your damn sensors see I'm having a hard time.

“Let’s go.”

Baam didn’t go against her wishes, but she didn’t like the way he was looking at her.

Wangnan stopped her.

“Wait. Can I put you in my pocket? We have so much in common. We should stay in touch.”

She opened her pocket, and they exchanged contact information.

“I’ll…see you at the next social ball…'

I think.

Wangnan smiled.

He had four canine teeth.

“I’ll make sure you don’t die of boredom. You’ll get used to all the hate soon. Nobody can change a forged attachment anyway. Those angry lady dignitaries will have to get over themselves.”

She couldn’t force out another fake laugh.

He’s not lying, but why do I feel like I’m in danger?

Baam followed her. She didn’t want to waste another minute. Her breathing was labored and her chest was melting. Her vision was too clear. She looked worse off than most of the other customers. She wasn’t just a first time user. She had pounded down an extremely high concentrated dose.

A woman with less self control would be on the ground.

Freedom.

Leaving the café made her shoulders relax. The ship was coming towards her. When she fell in she didn’t have enough strength left to speak. She had left at the right moment. Baam had to move her so he could get in. The lights outside hit one of his eyes, and she saw the ring shaped gears inside it. His synthetic sclera looked like glass, but it was made of something a lot more durable.

His other eye must be real.

He touched her arm. She was slumped over. Her endurance was being pushed to the limit.

“Do you like kissing, or do you want me to use my hand?”

The windows were tinted. A pulsating headache was impeding her ability to think.

I can’t meet Hansung like this.

He can’t know that I took drugs that are about to be outlawed.

“Hand please.”

The ship was moving. It was spacious. Her back was resting on a cloud. The seat felt cool. Baam was on top of her. His hand was next to her ribcage, on the leather. His face was hovering above her. Her eyes were teary. His handsome features were a blur. She didn’t need to look at him or anything to be aroused. She was already too far gone.

Her yellow eyes narrowed impatiently.

Just do it already.

His other hand hooked into her pants, and he pulled them down. The stretchy material tangled around her thighs. A shiny layer of wetness was seeping out of her underwear. Three of his fingers cupped over her slit. He pushed one into her folds, and he used the other two to stimulate her outer lips. The methodical method worked well. She bit her tongue. It did not bleed. She couldn’t feel her mouth anymore. His knees were framed around her hips. None of his weight was on her. The only pressure she could feel was coming from his hand. Her head jerked back and forth. Her legs were stiff. When her thighs closed his hand didn’t budge. He knew she wasn’t struggling against him. She just couldn’t control her body. She wasn’t willing to say another word. Asking for his hand was all the humiliation she could stand for one day. She knew it would take days for her pride to heal. Her cum was white and thick, like sperm.

Her face paled.

That doesn’t look normal.

“We are on time. Hansung is waiting on the eighth floor. He messaged me four times when we were in the café. He’s impatient because he wants to see a real human reproductive system.”

I didn’t want to know that.

“You don’t have to explain every message he sends. I get it. He can take what he wants. I signed up for this, but for some reason I don’t want to know all the details. Are we back?”

Her voice cracked.

Baam carried her out of the ship. The strings at her waist were still untied.

“We are. Are you angry? You haven’t said my name in a while.”

She sulked.

I'm not going to.

You don't deserve to hear it today.

An elevator dinged. They shot up. The eighth floor wasn’t luxurious. It looked like a family doctor office. The walls were bare and white. He opened a door, and they walked into a closet full of spare clothes. She leaned on him, but after a moment she could stand. Her hips were sore. Baam was very careful, but her nostalgia trip had made her even more fragile.

He barely stuck his finger in, but I feel like I’ve been stabbed.

She was disheveled. Baam brought her a brush. She picked up a white shirt, but then she realized it wasn't a shirt. It was a gown. She tore off her sweaty clothes and put it on. It fluttered, and flapped when she dashed into the bathroom. Her forced arousal was fading. She fixed her hair, and she cleaned her thighs with cool water.

There.

I look more normal now.

I’m ready to be examined.

She approached Baam like he was on fire. Her outer appearance had been fixed, but she wasn’t like him. She couldn’t just move on and forget her own perverse moans. Not speaking during the process had helped, but looking at him made her want to hide in a deep hole. Her blush was permanently stapled to her cheeks.

Hansung noticed it as soon as she entered the examination room. It looked normal too. There were no massive machines in the office, but everything was white, including the chair.

Hansung swallowed a rude laugh.

“You look lost, Rachel. Don’t worry. The extraction process isn't painful. Didn’t you read your contract? Your body will feel refreshed afterwards. Put your feet in these stirrups. This will take twenty minutes max. Next time you come you won’t look so gloomy. None of the women that work for me hate this. I have fine tuned it. The fertility industry has made great strides in the past century, and Urek is a hardass about regulating it. Wait.”

She froze for the second time.

“Yes?”

Hansung snapped on a face mask. It hid his amused smile. His light hair had been tied back in an extra tight bun. His slim frame was buried in a regulation standard lab coat, but he looked mischievous instead of professional.

“Are you freaking out because I’m going to see it? I heard that human blood can make you prudish. How could you look down on me like this? You’re a sample to me, not a woman. I’m perfectly capable of focusing when your legs are open.”

She gasped.

“That’s not it!”

Silver tools landed on a tray, and Hansung picked up a metal rod. 

He screwed it onto something thin.

“It isn’t?"

Wait.

This is a good excuse. If he thinks I’m blushing because of him that’s for the best.

“I…mean I know you’re a doctor, but I haven’t done this before. That’s all.”

Hansung lifted her ankle, and he helped her push her feet through the straps. The front part of her hospital gown fell.

“Good. You shaved. Some people still don’t. I like to have a clear view, for professional reasons. Some of the numbing gels I use can irritate the skin if they get stuck in any hair. You have a very human midsection. No bones. Your intestines are one big huge vulnerable spot. Sometimes I wonder how the original humans ever survived past infancy. I’ll explain everything as I go, because you’re hyperventilating.”

She was.

“I am?”

Baam had not left. That was stressing her out more.

He didn’t interrupt.

Hansung showed her a tube. It wasn’t clear. All of it was made of metal. He pressed a button and she heard a small snap.

“This will be going inside you. I don’t need to use any other tools to pull you open. I’ve handled a couple of bodies like yours. You are not my first, so there’s no reason to panic. There are other human woman in this building who are about ninety percent pure. They're almost as popular as you, but you're my star stud. I'm negotiating with three more buyers tomorrow. You brought me two clients already. You will be experiencing this process…often. You will hear two snapping noises. Then I’ll pull this out and you can leave. You should be able to stand and enjoy the rest of your day afterwards. Some of my employees enjoy this sensation. Pure human woman do like to be penetrated.”

Her bottom lip was bleeding.

“Can you make it…not feel good?”

Hansung adjusted his gloves.

“You should have read your contract. Fertility specialists like me used to use different tools, but now we have to use this one. Ten percent of all registered humanoid females in the Net don’t have a uterus. Fifteen more have primary ovarian insufficiency. Fifty percent more on top of that need some sort of assistance to conceive. Those are scary numbers, Rachel. A campaign launched a hundred years ago to improve the working conditions for fertility workers. Women like you used to get looked down upon, even though this is vitally important work. The laws presented by this campaign were nearly universally approved by every Core politician and military member. Those two factions never agree about anything. It took a crisis for them to come together. Your branch of fertility work still gets you the occasional judgemental look, but now uterine surgery and medicated pregnancies are the norm. Doctors like me get more funding too, but cryogen facilities have to follow even more rules. This tube is the least invasive, most pleasant way to get eggs. I’m legally not allowed to use less pleasant tools, because the government wants to encourage women to stay in the fertility business. Pain is not a good motivator.”

The tube snapped loudly.

“You may not be able to see, because humans have poor eyes, but there is a needle on the tip of this. It is coated in every kind of safety goop I can afford. This will slide in and out easier than a penis. I can’t say you won’t feel it, but this isn’t a painful process. Close your eyes if you want to.”

She did.

It’ll be over soon.

Two pairs of eyes were on her. Hansung had steady hands. Her knees had locked. She was hugging her chest. She felt the metal move in. Her body warmed it up. She felt a chill, and then it pushed in further than any sex toy could.

It doesn’t feel good, or bad.

I’m numb.

I’m fine.

She peeked at Hansung. He didn’t look concerned. Her eyes stayed far away from Baam.

*snap*

“Argh!”

Her headache returned. It launched back into her skull, and fluid dripped out of her.

She didn’t know if it was medical gel or not.

Hansung was looking at a screen.

An x-ray dot camera was buzzing near her waist.

“No protection at all. Even your bones aren’t an effective protective layer. They’re not elastic in the slightest. Maybe you should go to bed after this. Nothing is tearing. This tube is too gentle to cut paper, but you’re still experiencing strain. You may have to ask Viole to relieve you when I’m finished.”

She didn’t open her eyes.

“What do you mean?”

The needle was recharging. It was about to snap again. The tip was rooting around inside her, looking for another sample.

“Oh. You haven’t used him yet? That’s what cyborg guards are for. On top of protection they have to ensure their charges overall satisfaction. Viole is a Cyber Soldier though. That is a bit intimidating. Usually I wouldn’t tell you to use him, but you’re bonded. He won’t say no, and you might really need him. You’ve got nothing in here. Just pleasure receptors and bags of blood that could burst at the slightest touch. Is that why you’re so crabby? Being this physically vulnerable would be stressful. I can’t imagine being you.”

Baam didn’t say anything, because interrupting a medical procedure would be irresponsible.

She still had a chance to save herself.

No.

“Can I borrow some numbing cream ins-”

*snap*

Her waist lifted up, but Hansung pushed her hip down. The slender tube nuzzled in further before it pulled out. She could no longer deny it. The slick feeling between her thighs was not all medical. Hansung unstrapped her ankles, and all of her limbs fell limp.

“You’re oversensitive. Must be because of how human you are. Drink some water and relax in your room. You look so grumpy. Dont forget, Rachel. There are worse jobs to have.”

Her teeth were tingling. She wanted to tell him to stay, but Hansung was a busy man with a business to run.

He couldn’t do his work with one eye like Baam could.

I wonder if he was writing paperwork while he got me off.

Baam’s arms wrapped around her back. He pulled her up, and his arms hooked under her knees. He carried her away like a princess.

She was lucid enough to be angry.

His gold eyes both looked metallic. She couldn’t tell which one was real under the clinic lights.

“You shouldn’t hide your feelings, Rachel. Why are you upset?”

A bunch of foreign dignitaries want to kill me. Your buddy is a former royal that has to be under watch every second of the day, and he thinks we’re alike. Urek "announced" me. I don't know what that means but I don't like it. He didn't even ask first. You didn't ask before you stormed back into my life. If I argue that won't change a thing, and that's scary. I don’t fucking like that. I don’t fucking like any of this. I didn’t want to forget you and now I wish I didn’t know you.

Her voice was throaty.

“Do I bore you?”

He was walking. Her legs felt like lead bricks.

“You’re not boring, Rachel. Will you say my name if I tell you I’m sorry?”

She growled. Her stomach had been abused by drugs and tubes and needles. She had been overstimulated too much, for hours on end, with different methods of torment.

She wasn’t in the mood for questions or games.

“If you wanted to hear your name that badly you could have made me scream in the ship. Is my happiness and “overall satisfaction” just a job for you? Am I a checkbox on a list in your brain? Is this…something you feel like you have to do? Do you feel anything when you touch me, or did you check the comet ring report when Hansung shoved that thing in me?”

What the hell am I doing?

I should be screaming about other, more important things.

“A ship is not the safest or the most sanitary place to experiment in. That’s why we had to stay still. You could have fallen off your seat. I could not use force. You’re not thinking. You’re mad about nothing. We’ll be in your room soon. I’ll make you say my name lots. I missed it, and even though I can’t feel arousal I love watching you. I would have done the extraction myself if I had that certification level.”

That’s not exactly what I wanted to hear.

My confidence already isn’t that great.

This fucking situation is making it worse.

She couldn’t stop being upset.

“You were so emotionless…I hated it.”

He didn’t seem conflicted, or guilty.

“It is my duty to protect you, but I don’t see you as a responsibility. You are not a pet, Rachel. I think you’re trying to tell me that I make you feel that way. I haven’t accepted any missions or proposals that involve sex or seduction. I can’t express myself well all the time, because I have been modified. Your frustration is understandable. When we’re together I want to be me. I want you to trust me more. I will submit the paperwork for our marriage right away, if that’s what you want.”

She glared at him incredulously.

“Are you saying that I can’t have real intimacy unless I agree to marry you?”

He blinked.

“If you want that with me, specifically, yes.”

Her head touched a pillow, and most of her headache faded. The rest of her was still aching. Only a few minutes had passed.

“I can’t give you an answer now. I'm not in my right mind. That tube…come down here. Shit. I don't want to admit it, but you can see. You can probably hear my heart. If I could hit you I would. What would you do if I tried to call a different guard?”

She waited for another robotic response.

“I wouldn’t let him in. Should I use my hand?”

Her gown ripped. It was paper thin, and she was restless. His hands weren’t on her yet.

“I want to be kissed.”

He kissed her cheek.

Annoyance twisted her lips.

"Not there."

The edge of his jacket was touching her ankle.

"Your lower lip has a cut on it. It will hurt."

Her hand moved behind his head. She couldn't make him budge, but he took the hint. 

The kiss wasn't painful.

Chapter Text

Her eyes were open. She should have fallen asleep hours ago, after his final kiss stole the rest of her energy. Her legs were numb under the blankets, and certain sections of her skin were stinging. Namely, her lower back and her stomach.

“Baam?”

He was working in the corner, next to the Autobot. His eyes were glowing, but not with life.

“You should be asleep. Why are you fighting the Mela-med pill?”

She blushed.

I pushed my body too far. He’s not touching me because he knows I’m in pain. In the end he cares about my condition first, not my feelings. I can’t not care about those. I’m human, and I feel terrible.

Inside and out.

I do want to rest.

I just can’t.

She couldn’t even sit up. The toxic combination of the nostalgia high, kissing, flying, rushing, lying and being touched had destroyed her. She had only managed to plant a few weak kisses on him, before he noticed how far gone she was.

He stopped, and he tucked me into bed without asking for my opinion. Ouch. My confidence already isn’t the best. Every other woman I know has strong bones that can be shaved down. I’m too weak to get augmented. Surgery could accidentally disfigure me, because I’m so fragile. I already feel unattractive.

Now, the only person that likes me is a robot that will never get it up unless I sign a form.

I can't catch a break.

She inhaled, and exhaled. She didn’t know if she was angry, because she had to sleep off the tense feeling in her belly by herself, or embarrassed enough to cry.

Her tongue clicked.

“Do you want to marry me? We can’t just do whatever I want all the time. You kind of go against me sometimes, like right now. If you really were a mindless servant you’d be in bed with me. Do you have any free will in there?”

The lights behind his irises turned off.

“You are my free will. I can only want you as much as you want me. Cyber Soldiers love to see the things and people they are bonded to. If you said you hated me I would have to be ok with distance. I would probably have to behave more like a guard and speak only when needed. I’d wait outside when you sleep, instead of in here. Those are all things you can order me to do, and you can also take me. Without the emotions I used to have those options are the same, as long as you’re here. You are what I chose to keep when my head was cut open. What I want isn’t really a question. I can’t not be happy around you, and I’m aware that my behavior doesn’t seem like free will. I was not trained to value it, but it’s there. There is blood in me. We can use our DNA signatures anytime.”

She felt lonely, even though he had technically just proposed.

“If I’m going to be with you forever you need to be more reasonable. I’m sick. My body crashed and Hansung needs to think I’m healthy by tomorrow. I…um…told a white lie. The nostalgia I drank was a lot stronger than usual. I didn’t think the extraction would be that invasive, and now I know Urek fucking “announced” me. I have to use you, Baam. Doesn’t that upset you?”

He did not approach the bed.

“How do you intend to use me?”

Her mouth opened, but no sound came out for a long minute.

Don’t say it like that.

“I’ll sign tomorrow. If we’re a couple I’ll be safer. I’m going to meet the rest of your men at some point, and they have emotions. Some of them are extremely devoted. They aren’t going to respect me unless I’m your wife.”

Baam decided to push her.

“Urek’s acknowledgement of you means you’re allowed to move into the Core. Do you want to quit working, and do that, if the extraction process is too bothersome?”

She could not bear to look at him.

“No. I can use this job to protect myself too. Evankhell is here, and she feels pretty neutral about me. I feel like too many enemies are waiting in the Core.”

Baam smiled.

“When did you get so smart? You would be safe with me, but it’s true that Hansung is friendlier than the high rankers that belong to the Core.”

She hugged her pillow.

“I’m no good at calculation, but I know how people think. This is a cushy, private place with great security. I want to stay if I can. I’m too scared to move into the heart of the Net. I don’t want to pretend to be a politician. I don’t think that would go well.”

Baam chastened her.

“You’re shaking. You should be asleep.”

Breathing hurt. Her nervous system was still in overdrive.

“After you get permission do you think you’re going to want me?”

He thought about it.

“I don’t know. I already want you.”

She hid under the covers.

That’s not the kind of want I meant.

When she resurfaced he was there. His hand touched her forehead. The Autobot clicked, and Baam gave her a jelly pill. The kind that was easy to swallow. He pushed it up against her lips. The juice in the medicine exploded on her tongue, and then the tingling feeling in her could no longer keep her awake. It was like she was being smothered. Grey blobs took over her vision, and then they turned purple, like the juice inside the pill. It forcibly regulated her body. When she woke up her blood was clean again.

She raised her arm, and flexed her hand.

The Autobot took two samples.

“What do I have to do today?”

A screen popped up in front of Baam, and he pulled an important looking sheet of paper out of his pocket.

“Hansung wants one egg, and I purchased a marriage certificate. Around an hour after we sign I will have more emotional range around you. Don’t expect me to be human. Your feelings will get hurt that way, but I can be the partner you wanted last night.”

Her legs were dangling over the side of the bed.

“I need a shower. I feel dirty. I’ll…sign it.”

To her surprise he pulled her up. Her feet lifted off the ground, and carried her to the kitchen. Her heart clenched painfully when he picked up a kitchen knife. The pale and expensive sheet of paper landed on the counter. Her wedding was just a signature. A formality. She was somewhat resigned, because she didn’t see any possible escape route. Running from a Cyber Solider was deep in the realm of impossibility. If she managed to run to another planet they would give her back to him immediately, but she was also curious. She wanted to know what love was like. She didn’t understand why the boy she had named thought she would remember him, even with memory eraser in her system. It was such a naïve kind of hope.

His feelings for me used to be strong, but now he’s different. That boy isn’t coming back, even though he likes to be called Baam.

One of his hands had to be human. He poked the junction at the bottom of his wrist with the knife, and blood dripped down. It landed neatly in an ink box.

He gave her the knife. She slashed the tip of her finger, and pressed it into the other empty box. Then the two drying samples were side by side. Viole slid the sheet into a sterile envelope, and he gave it to the Autobot, who was the only witness.

“Deliver this to the Core.”

The Autobot putted away, and then they were alone. She didn’t look at him. She hid in the shower for an hour. The fancy bottle of body wash on her shelf was half empty when she finally finished.

I didn’t think I’d ever get married. What’s next? I might be forced to move into the Core someday. It’s safer for me here, but Urek needs Baam. I’m being pulled in too many different directions. Marriage is the best choice though. I need Baam on my side. Cyber Soldiers have to take a ton of hormone blockers. When those aren’t affecting him he’ll be closer to his original self. Hopefully. Maybe I’ll be able to convince him to live in the Core part time, so I can hide here. If I really have to go to social balls I’ll hide behind Wangnan.

She dried herself off. Her skin looked too pale. She was battered and bruised from yesterday’s adventure. When she brushed her teeth she stopped thinking. She just listened to the water hissing in the sink. When her mouth tasted like mint she looked into the mirror.

Aguero isn’t the only crazy alien that relies on Baam for leadership. Baam. I’ll call him that from now on. It makes sense for a wife to call her husband affectionately. He complains when I call him Viole too. Hearing it makes him happy. I’m not just using him. He likes me. I have to believe that.

Her face looked ghastly.

What if it’s not true, and his devotion for me is a part of him that he’s clinging to? That’s not human love. He just warned me that he’s not human.

She wanted to slap her reflection.

Stop it. He literally can’t lie about his feelings. He was only emotionless when he touched me because of the blockers.

She started to hyperventilate.

What if the devotion he feels for me is what a brother feels for a sister? What then? Will I still be able to use him after Hansung injects me with shit?

When she left the bathroom her hair was soaking wet. She had forgotten to dry it.

“When does Hansung want me?”

Baam touched the top of her head.

“What are you doing? Get back in there. You’ll catch a cold. Your shirt is soaked now.”

She looked down. Her top was translucent. Cold water was leaking out of her curls.

“Oh…I didn’t notice.”

He touched her arm, and he turned her.

“Why is your back so red? What heat setting do you use in there?”

She pulled her arm away.

“I cranked it up. I didn’t sleep well. A hot shower always wakes me up.”

He looked disturbed.

“You have another hour. Hansung is working with another woman at the moment. He attached a premium price to you, because you’re in high demand. He doesn't want to overwork you. There's no need to rush. Dry off, and get changed.”

Her teeth chattered.

“Um…I think I just want to eat.”

He shoved her into the bathroom.

A fluffy towel wrapped around her head. He gathered up her curls, and rubbed them. He moved swiftly. It was like she was inside a dryer. Her hair started to frizz up, and static sparked.

“Owch!”

He stopped, but then he did something even more ridiculous.

“Sorry.”

The towel dropped. His hands hooked under her shirt, and he pulled it off her. She could not stop him. Her arms straightened out for a second, and he yanked the soaked material up. Her hair had transformed into a cloud, and she was half nude. She instinctively moved to cover herself, but she didn’t do it. She tried to smooth out her hair, and she looked at him nervously.

“There. Doesn’t that feel better?”

His eyes were utterly devoid of passion. She only saw affection. She stayed silent, because she didn’t want to cry. The paper had already been signed. Urek knew her name. Backing out wasn’t an option. Baam helped her brush her hair, and the ever-helpful Autobot brought her a new shirt. Baam had not noticed her stress induced breakdown. He gave her a walnut protein cookie, but thst didn't improve her mood.

“Your heartbeat is abnormal. You should give your organs a break. Emotional enhancers take more energy than you think. You should wait three weeks before you go back again.”

She walked towards the door stiffly.

“I think I’m going to quit using. I don’t need nostalgia anymore. I have you.”

That got a genuine reaction.

He kissed her cheek.

“I have you now too. I should receive permission to deactivate some of my emotional spike sensors after today’s procedure. If I feel like a new man please tell me.”

They were on the way to Hansung’s office.

“I will, if you honestly tell me if you see me in a new light.”

He frowned.

“I don’t want to. You'll always be the same to me.”

It was hard to keep walking. She didn’t want to get upset. Putting one foot in front of the other took a herculean amount of effort.

“Ok.”

That was all she could force out, before she saw Hansung’s office door. An elevator behind them activated.

The other woman had already left.

Hansung was too cheerful. The dubious doctor actually came out to greet them, but his eyes were on her. They always were, because she had quickly become his prime specimen. He was wearing googles, so he looked even more unapproachable than usual.

“Good morning Rachel, and congratulations. It was inevitable but I’m glad you tied the knot.”

Her tongue stumbled.

“H…how?”

Hansung spoke over her.

“Did I know? All mail that isn’t classified goes through me first. Paper mail is kind of a big deal, you know. It’s only right for me to know when important transactions are happening in my building. I suppose you won’t be doing a ceremony? I didn’t. Evankhell considered us “together” when we met anyway. Ceremony isn’t really a Cyber Solider thing. How did it happen? Who asked first?”

Baam decided to have an opinion.

“Both of us. We started talking about it at the same time.”

That’s a half truth. You proposed because I wanted sex and you’re not allowed to give it to me yet.

Hansung placed his hand over his black heart.

“That is so sweet.”

It is not.

Baam didn’t hear the sarcasm.

“Thank you. Did your inspection delay the delivery? I want permission as soon as possible.”

Hansung threw up his hands when he escorted them into the extraction room.

“I wouldn’t do that! Why do you think I’m that petty? You’re allowed to marry without my permission. You can do as you please as long as you give me your healthy body. Sit down for me, Rachel.”

She hurried to change into a hospital gown.

Hansung waved again.

“No need for that. You can just get undressed. We know each other well enough. Haven’t you gotten over that human prudishness yet? This is your second appointment with me this week, and that’s the max. After today it’ll be blood only until the week is over. You’ve saved a lot of lives already, by the way. Your o-neg blood is a huge hit.”

She put on the gown anyway. Her back landed on the hyper modern chair, and she steeled herself.

Hansung didn’t make another comment. He had work to do.

The emotional enhancers finally wore off, so I won’t react as badly. He’s only taking one this time too.

Baam had shuffled off to the side, out of the way. He showed her another smile, and it made her hate herself.

He said I could use him.

I don't have to feel bad.

She heard a snap.

“I’m almost ready. Lie down for me and don’t buck too much.”

Her butt stayed firmly on the chair. The tube slid under her gown, and she waited patiently.

“Ugh…”

Her shoulders jerked up.

“Don’t make me tie you down, Rachel. I know it doesn’t hurt. This process hasn’t been painful for any body ever. Even if you were made of glass you’d be fine.”

Her hands cupped over her stomach, which was beginning to feel tender. She gritted her teeth. Hansung looked under her skirt.

It feels the same. What the hell? I thought the milkshake was what fucked me up. Am I really that sensitive?

She was breathing exclusively through her nose. Her spine felt like a live wire. She waited for the snap. She waited to be set free, but Hansung was looking at a screen with his detail goggles on. Words and images were floating on both layers of light.

“Today I’m doing a more thorough inspection. You reacted way too strongly last time. I think you’re just unlucky. Ancient humans were fertile and fruitful. They were kind of perverted because of that. I’m figuring out what kind of creams work best for you. I don’t want to knock you out. You’re pretty sassy for an employee, but I think I’d like you even less if you were brain dead. How do you feel today?”

She wasn’t capable of answering.

“Just…finish…”

He looked at a blobby image that must have been her insides.

“This seems like the right combination. You’re not totally incompetent today. Take advantage of your marriage or you’ll be stuck in bed all day, if you know what I mean.”

She was red, but she wasn’t certain if she was blushing or panting. Hansung was dicking around and taking his time, so she covered her face with her hands. Baam didn’t help her. He didn’t see a problem, because her body was enjoying the process. Trying to hold back her voice made her forget about everything else. She didn’t look at him until she heard the snap. The tube pulled out of her, and Hansung shoved it into a metal hole next to the chair. He offered her a cup of water. Her tongue touched it before her lips did. She couldn’t pull her gown down. Her hands were both gripping the edge of the seat. When Hansung took his goggles off she let go.

“Your lungs didn’t panic this time. That’s good. You also struggled a lot less. You’re getting used to this already. Maybe I was worrying too much.”

He still doesn’t know that I took drugs.

That’s good.

Hansung took off his jacket.

“You’re my last appointment today, so I’m going out. You can do it here. The cleaning bots come in every time my office is empty. Good luck being married, Rachel. It’s not easy.”

She blinked blearily, and he left. The rest of her cup of water tasted divine, but her legs were frozen. Hansung had used far too many safety precautions. She couldn’t even bend her knees. Her sterile gown was sliding off of her. Her inner thighs looked shiny. Baam returned to her side like nothing was amiss.

“You didn’t scream this time. Good job.”

Her smile looked like a set of bared teeth. She was about to order him to carry her back to her room. Before she could he tugged on the front part of her gown. The paper thin tie around her back snapped, and then she was exposed. He kissed her dry lips, and too much weight landed on her. She could feel metal brushing against her thigh, and pressing into her ribcage. His tongue pushed into her mouth, and he gave her what she had asked for. She was no longer sick, so he toyed with her exactly as requested. His tongue touched her teeth too. She reflexively flinched away, but there was no room. The kiss had trapped her. Her back and her head were cradled in the chair. She could roll away, if she was committed enough to fall flat on the tiled floor. She wasn’t. Being kissed was a fine reward after her hard morning and night. He squeezed her thigh, and tested the muscles in her legs to see which ones were the most compromised. He had to pull back, and push her knees open, so he wouldn’t crush her. When he settled between her legs he reached down, but he didn’t undress. His thumb brushed over her clit, but she lashed out. Her foot landed on his chest, and she tried to push him down.

He bent over a little bit, but he didn’t get it.

She had to tell him.

“I know how you can help me recover faster.”

He didn’t protest.

“How?”

Her knees bounced, and she pulled her lips apart. She used both hands to show him what she wanted.

Don't look at me.

“Kiss me here.”

Chapter Text

His blank acceptance ruined her smirk. It fell off her face. He didn’t even smile. He wasn’t like her, and that had never been clearer. The sterile room they were in made her feel even lonelier. Her lewd pose got little to no reaction from him. He had seen it all before. The hardened Cyber Solider was the furthest thing from a blushing maiden. He didn’t even have the ability to blush. Looking at him made her feel more and more ashamed, and not in a way that turned her on. She could not stop the sensation in her. Hansung had given her no other choice. The dubious doctor expected her to use the tool she had at her disposal, and that made her sick.

Baam wasn’t supposed to be her tool.

He liked her. He used to, back when he had all of his organs. She knew that much, but it wasn’t enough. She could not trust his true self, because she did not know it.

He didn’t either.

I don’t want to see his face.

Not when he’s doing it out of duty.

Her lips wobbled.

He was all business, still, and that destroyed her. A screen popped up above his wrist.

"Hold on."

He was checking her vitals. They were in the red, or close to it. The numbers made of light were not encouraging. She couldn’t read it all properly, but she was in bad shape.

“I thought you would be tired. You’re not experienced with extraction yet. This is somewhat abnormal. Your pulse is too fast, but alright.”

She looked up, away from everything, at the silver ceiling.

Alright?

That’s not what you say when you want someone. What am I doing? I have to stop this.

He doesn’t want me.

Even if he agrees to please me I’m not ok with that.

The heat under her skin bloomed, and it began to spread further. If she did speak more lascivious nonsense would pour out. The intense shame she was feeling was being overridden by her body.

Does he even like touching me, or is it just part of maintaining me? If he’s a tool, I’m a toy. Will we ever be able to have a genuine connection?

Fractured memories and promises aren’t enough for me.

When did I get so greedy? None of my relationships have ever been real. Why the hell do I want that so badly now?

Her fake confidence was only going to hold if she stayed out of his line of sight. Her blush had spread all the way down to her neck, and her chest was heaving. There was nothing left that could protect her. No pillows or blankets to hide behind. No one to call or hide behind. Hansung expected her to accept her fate. The chair creaked when her full weight hit it. She wanted to be kissed, but she knew the reality of her situation. Flirting wasn’t necessary.

She just had to ask.

That was the hardest thing for her to do. Her mouth wouldn’t let her do it. Her head was spinning out of control.

“Tell me if it hurts.”

He was on his knees. Her hands didn’t move. His tongue slid through her fingers. He focused on the top of her slit. He found it too fast. He wasn’t disgusted. Not like her. He didn’t notice the chaos in her. Her arms went limp. Pain came first. It was unyielding. She didn’t tell him. She had to let him touch her more, to relieve it. Her muscles were coming undone. Her insecurities returned in full force each time she blinked. When she tried to close her eyes, and enjoy herself, she couldn’t. It was like her body didn’t belong to her. It didn’t. It was using her.

She felt fear slide into her blood.

Is he doing this just because I told him to? Is that all it takes? Is that all there is to him?

“Don’t…”

She almost said “don’t look at me”, out loud. Not being wanted was a big part of her life. It was most of it. She was the type of girl people didn’t even see. As an adult she was utterly invisible. Her failures had piled up too high. Pleasure could not wash that away. Her lips felt cold. The tip of each one of her fingers felt like ice.

What if he likes me less when he has feelings? When he can feel attraction he’ll notice I’m not attractive. How will I be able to live with my head held high if that happens? What if he says he only wants to be friends, when he finally wakes up? Evankhell has an abrasive personality. She’s capable of acting more human. What will Baam become?

Will that someone really be somebody who loves me?

Hansung had left her a mess. The chair was soaked. Baam was being very gentle. Her screams sounded like they were from overstimulation instead of horror. She covered her face, with both of her hands. Her clit was easy. It wasn’t twisted and murky like her mind. It wanted one thing, and she wanted it to stop. She started to pant and gag like she had gone days without a drop to drink.

It's worse this time. I’ve only done a couple of extractions. Is this weird? It is weird. Am I too sensitive because I’m more human? If that’s true I have to stop. I can’t be like this all the time. I’ll become a whore. My body doesn’t care if this is emotionless sex, but I do.

Her nails were digging into her cheeks. Her toes had curled painfully. The itch in her belly didn’t have an end, or a reason to be there. It had been forcefully planted. She was viscerally aware of the fact that she shouldn’t be turned on. She wanted nothing more than a hug, and reassuring words. Her need to be held should have outweighed the tongue grinding on her pussy. Breathing began to burn her. The chair wasn’t soft enough to bounce on. When her hips moved they bumped into metal. The inside of her cheek was wet with blood, and she swore she could taste her fear of rejection.

Baam didn’t slow down, but she could only see darkness. A pulsating mass of soft shapes assaulted her eyes. The familiar taste of rejection began to take form.

She could see it. It had a voice, and it sounded like Baam. Her thoughts were out of her control. His lips touched her, and he didn’t stop when she came in his mouth. She saw him, in the cold light of day, with real eyes that held real emotion. He was apologizing for the misunderstanding his robotic self had caused. He was so sincere that she wanted to die.

Rachel, I love you. I love you so much, but not like that. Let’s be friends forever. You were lonely, right? I was too. I don’t want to ruin what we have with love.

You’re like a sister to me. You don’t have a family now. I can be that, for you.

It was a sweet kind of rejection. Baam, with his emotions unlocked, was more than willing to play games. He wanted her and he missed her, but not like that. She was a comfort doll for an important political figure, not a woman, in her feverish nightmare. Her moans were ragged. Her body refused to let her go. Tears were streaming down her face, and she sniffed loudly.

“Rachel, do you need ice?”

She felt queasy.

“What’s happening to me…help…”

He massaged her thigh. Her legs wouldn’t close. Her hospital gown was sweaty. A bag of freezing ice landed on her abdomen before she could say anything.

“Did you ever read about Cognitive Dissonance Theory, while you were in the education system?”

She wiped her eyes.

“Ugh…um…is now really the time to talk about class? I flunked anyway.”

Baam's eyes were suddenly an inch away from hers. He was looming over her like she was in an interrogation chamber.

“Think, Rachel. Did you read about it?”

He was crouching next to the chair, and touching her hand.

She sniffled.

“I…think so. It’s an old theory about freedom and false advertisements. It’s why companies aren’t allowed to input chips into our brains. Only suits. Suits have to come off. They can’t be permanent. You can’t spray addictive smells in front of businesses either. Why are we talking about this? How could you touch me, when you don’t feel anything? How do you know that you like...”

He interrupted her.

“Rachel. Why is it important?”

The ice was melting. She blinked more. She groaned, and the feral noise echoed.

“It’s a mental conflict where your beliefs don’t line up with your actions. Companies, and the government, aren’t allowed to force such dissonance on regular citizens.”

Baam didn’t blink. There was a metal ring in one of his eyes. It was turning, like an ancient clock.

“I'm…not thinking or feeling the right things…”

Baam kept waiting.

She pushed her knees shut. When she sat up she hunched over.

“Baam, is your programming preventing you from telling me something?”

He carried her back to her room. She stayed quiet with him until she was in her kitchen, ordering a protein cookie. She wanted to get undressed and enjoy her silky sheets, but no she didn’t. She had serious emotional issues to discuss with her future husband. Sex wasn’t supposed to be on the table, but it was all she could think about.

The cookie she chose tasted like fresh, buttery oatmeal.

Cognitive Dissonance Theory. Lots of people want to be augmented, but the brain is off limits legally. That doesn’t stop drug dealers, but that law is about to close Wangnan’s business. I haven’t been right for a while. I hopped up my brain on nostalgia, and I’ve been jumping from high to high ever since. Cognitive Dissonance. Cognitive Dissonance. Come on. I did read about this before. All citizens are required to learn their human rights. Cognitive Dissonance.

Baam handed her a shirt, and a pair of shorts. She got dressed in front of him, because it didn’t matter. Modesty didn't matter. She wanted to be naked all the time. His brain had been messed with. His signature had been mailed through, but that was only going to remove some of the restrictions on him.

Cognitive Dissonance.

She coughed, after she drank a tall glass of water in one gulp.

I’m close.

“Baam, is this job too good to be true? Are you trying to save me?”

He wrapped a heated blanket around her shoulders.

“Do you feel cold?”

It was in her chest.

“Yes, I do. Let’s…sit down.”

He was blank.

“Do you want to kiss?”

She threw herself at him.

“No!”

Her scream rebounded. Baam fell, and she used him as a pillow. She rubbed against him. Her head landed under his chin. She listened to her own heartbeat, and it calmed down. It picked up again by force, like she was running, even though she was being cradled so gently.

“Oh, shit.”

Cognitive Imprisonment Theory. The human brain is a machine that can be mastered. Protestors and scientists like to rise up every decade or so, and tell people what their rights are. I was a dumb kid, but they were really clear.

She held both of Baam’s hands. Her skin was really sensitive. Unnaturally so.

If it looks too good to be true, it is. That's the fundamental rule they tell kids. The lobbyists that want full time suits don’t care about human happiness. They think chemical happiness is good enough for the lower rungs of society. Urek, and the other Cyber Soldiers, prevent companies from doing full body implants because it’s a slippery slope.

Baam stroked her back.

Hansung talked alot about privacy. That gave me a false sense of security. I haven’t seen the other women who work here. That means I can’t ask for advice. I’m not allowed to mingle with my coworkers. If he said it like that I would have been more suspicious. If I’m right they’re brain dead sex morons, and I don’t have any other options left. I will have to leave with Baam as soon as the restrictions on his brain loosen. I might be in more physical danger if I leave, but I will still have my brain. The fertility crisis is dire. I should have known that Hansung is the kind of doctor that will do anything to keep his samples. Morals matter a little less when the survival of the human race is at stake. Urek is even in on it. I should be able to get out, if I have enough brains to say I want to leave. If Baam wasn’t here I would be doomed.

I would be grinding on some random cyborg guy right now.

Her shorts were getting sticky.

If I didn’t drink that nostalgia I wouldn’t be familiar with this feeling. Hansung said it to my face, didn’t he? He said he’s not allowed to do anything that doesn’t make me feel good. If you think about that for a fucking second it’s a bad sign.

I thought about leaving.

I thought about not signing.

I can’t believe I hesitated, because I thought I got such a good deal.

He fucking got me.

Her hips twitched.

Damn you, Hansung.

The worst part of all of this is…I’m ninety nine percent sure most of women are here on their own free will. They have the totally legal right to be high forever. I can’t look down on people who want to escape like that, and be taken care of.

It's so damn evil.

She worded her next question carefully.

“Just out of curiosity…do you have enough money to buy out my exclusivity contract?”

Baam didn’t seem shocked.

“I do. If I don’t I have a gun.”

She kissed him. Her tongue pushed into him, and she fluffed his hair. He hugged her so she wouldn’t fall.

“Thank you.”

She kept her thanks vague, and she kissed his jaw too.

“What do you need?”

He was ready to serve.

Her eyes were glittering with tears.

“Shove your hand in me. I don’t care if your dick doesn’t work. I’ve been trying to figure out where the metal parts of you start since the day I met you.”

He tugged on her waistband. Her wet pussy took two of his fingers in without flinching. His nails scraped against her, and his palm rubbed against her stomach. Her breasts pressed against his chest, and she fucked what she could get. She kept forgetting to blink. Baam started stroking her head. It was like he didn’t know what to do. She barely needed him. His handsome face was just a bonus. Anyone would do. Her slimy clit wasn’t picky.

Did he rush the marriage process because he wants to get me out of here?

I'm touched.

She came on his hand.

Where do we go next? I don’t even know where he works, exactly. Where do Cyber Soldiers live? Will I actually be safe there?

She grabbed his other hand, and she pressed it against her boob with a saccharine grin on her face. Her butt had bruises on it. Her face had rake marks on it, from her own nails. She was being too rough.

“Stop acting like a dead fish. I need you.”

He rolled her over, so he could trap her between the couch and him. He was squeezing her too hard, which was what she wanted. He drilled her until her moans were strained and quiet. Her sloppy kisses barely ever landed on his mouth.

“I need you too. Come back to me by tomorrow morning. I won’t wait longer than that.”