Chapter Text
He was running through a dark and imposing maze of rich marble pillars that had black smoke that filled him with an overwhelming feeling of staring into the unknown, the feeling one get’s when they know anything could be lurking in that darkness. Something was chasing him, he could hear echoes of insane laughter and violence descending upon his position.
Please, please don’t hurt me – his mind thought. Terror, dread, and the overwhelming sense that his world was crashing down.
The scenery shifted. He was lost in an unfamiliar city, and no one was around to help him. He was all alone, like a child lost in a grocery store, but he knew that no-one was going to find him. Several times he tried to ask a fleeting face in the crowd of looming adults for help but each time they would disappear into black smoke before they answered.
Everything changed again. Now he was in his house, seeing an unfolding scene of his childhood before his eyes. His mom, her fierce cold eyes turned on him, making him feel a thousand times smaller and less worthwhile. His dad, yelling in his face and smashing dishes against the wall, narrowly missing his face. Then they left, but unlike in the real memory, they collapsed on their way out. His dad, dad dad dad. He was dead. And his mom. There was blood everywhere and he couldn’t get it off no matter how hard he tried, it was stuck to his fingers to his clothes to his arms. It wouldn’t wash off no matter how hard he tried.
Why wasn’t it leaving him? What did he do wrong? He just wanted his mom and dad to tell him everything was going to be okay. But they were gone. They left him all alone. He collapsed into agonized sobs.
Tim was still crying when he woke up. The digital clock on the bedside table cast a faint light to his surroundings, blurred by the tears and sleepiness. It was five am. He took a few shuddering breaths, trying to calm down, only to cry even more. Why did his subconscious have to bring out his most deep-seated fears? He didn’t want to be alone ever again, but he knew it was only a matter of time before people would get tired of him or die before that could happen. Isn’t that what happened to Bruce? And Steph, and Kon, and Bart.
Thinking about them made his grasping control on his crying give way into actual sobs. Everyone died and he was never going to see his versions of them again. Even if he managed to save everyone, they wouldn’t have the same memories and experiences as his people. They would be completely different.
Eventually Tim’s body grew tired of crying and a bone deep exhaustion took over with zero sleepiness. Not that Tim would want to go back to sleep after that. He decided to get up, since he wasn’t going to get any more sleep that night anyway. Wrapping a cozy fleece blanket around him, he crept towards his door, opening and closing it carefully to avoid noise. Down the hallway, to the grand hallway, down the grand staircase and into the main family room he walked, hardly thinking of where he was heading.
Tim settled down in front of the embers in the fireplace, grabbing a cup of tea from a nearby tea/coffee station. He takes a few gasping uneven breaths before forcing himself to calm with deep calm breaths and relaxing thoughts.
A creek echoes across the dimply lit room, startling Tim’s forced calm back into heart racing fear. His eyes snap up, body tense and ready for flight, only to relax slightly when he saw who it was: Jason, with a huge mound of bedhead and some comfy looking pajamas. His eyes were rimmed in red, and his hands, which were holding a mug, were shaking.
Jason settled down next to Tim on the cozy rug in front of the fireplace. “Hey.” He whispered in a subdued voice.
“Hey.” Whispered Tim back, voice coming out shaking and small. He focused on drinking his tea, letting the silence fall comfortably between them.
Another few moments went by in which both boys sipped their drinks before Jason tried talking again. “I had a nightmare. What about you?” His voice was more calm, though still a whisper.
Tim nodded, looking down to stop his face from taking a stricken expression.
More time past, the quiet only interrupted by the occasional crackle of an ember. Jason shifted. “Wanna talk about it?”
Tim shook his head no.
Jason hummed in acknowledgment. “Yeah. Neither do I.”
Tim finished his tea, putting his mug to the side, and stare into the red embers.
“Can I give you a hug?” Jason spoke hesitantly. His hands were still shaking and Tim could see how much Jason needed the hug.
Tim nodded. Jason moved to get closer to Tim, wrapping him a warm and gentle embrace. Tim practically melted into it, his whole body going from tense to relaxed. Despite his best efforts, tears fell from his eyes, soaking Jason’s fuzzy pajama shirt. Jason himself gave a few sniffs, hugging more tightly than before. This was so nice. He couldn’t remember a time in the last year where he had gotten such an effective comfort hug.
Everything was so comfortable. The two boys had moved from the hug into cuddling side by side, leaning against the blanket that Tim had been wrapped in that had ended up near their heads. Tim tried thinking through his plan of action for the day, but his thoughts kept tapering off and he closed his eyes. Just for a second.
When he opened his eyes, the whole room was basked in morning light, and the clock on the wall read 7:30. He must have fallen asleep. Jason was still there, sleeping by his side. The two mugs they had been using were gone. Alfred must have found them and let them keep sleeping.
Tim let Jason keep sleeping, tiptoeing out of the room to go back to his bedroom. He came down again a few hours later by 9:00 AM after showering, changing, and setting up his laptop for the following evening when he was going to do more research and write out actual plans and contingencies. Bruce and Dick were already there eating pancakes and talking among each other. They both looked up when he came in and sat down in a seat across from Dick.
Bruce gave him a small, tired smile and Dick gave him an over exaggerated ecstatic expression.
“Good morning,” started Tim. He tried to think of a way to phrase what he wanted to ask in a polite way. Sometimes Tim got scared that he would accidentally say something rude, as it had happened quite a bit in the past. “Are you going on your trip today?”
“We are. We’re leaving the house at noon,” answered Bruce.
Not knowing what else to say, Tim replied with: “Cool.” There was a long silence as Tim started his meal and Dick and Bruce finished theirs. Tim felt like he was sitting at the edge of a precipice. His life, which had already changed drastically when he went back in time, was about to change yet again. He had gotten used to the rhythm of Wayne manor in the past week. Sometimes it he had to remind himself he was on a mission. It felt so much like home being here.
Now he had to prepare himself for the likely possibility that he was going to be sent home in a few days, and what that would entail. He was still just the neighbor kid in this timeline, there would be no reason to keep him around for the stressful event of adding a new person into the family. They would probably send him off with offers to help when needed, but he would still be back at home with no more contact until he could find an excuse for them to help him. Maybe it would give him more time to hack into things and track the other missing members of the family (Steph and Cass). He had done a cursory check on both of them on his laptop, finding out that Steph was currently living with just her mother while her father was in jail, and finding out nothing about Cassandra. She was a much better hidden person, having no government papers because of her time with the League of Assassins and knowing how to hide after she ran away from them.
He had found some of her horrifying files in the League database, but they didn’t know where she was either as she had already run away. He would need to hack into the Bat-Computer again before he left so he could add an alert that would notify him if she was caught on camera. Maybe he could –
“Tim. Timmy. Tim,” Dick’s voice interrupted his musings.
Tim gave a startled flinch. “Yes?”
“You spaced out for minute there. You okay?” Dick was giving him what appears to be an early version of his Dick Grayson Concerned Older Brother Look.
“Yeah. I was just thinking,” Tim assured him, giving a small smile.
“I was going to let you know that we’re all going to say goodbye to each other at 11:40, so you’ll want to be around at that time.”
“Okay, thanks for telling me.”
“I’m going to pack now, see you later,” stated Dick with a parting smile before clearing his place and leaving the room.
“Okay.”
Tim and Bruce were left in a somewhat awkward silence.
“So… what day do you think you’ll be back on?”
Bruce took a moment to answer the question. “We will probably be back on Thursday, though it could take longer. We’ll be giving Alfred updates so you can ask him for more information in the coming days.”
“Okay,” stated Tim.
There was another awkward pause.
“I’m going to go to my room,” said Tim as he cleared his plate and inched towards the door. “I hope you have a good trip!”
At 11:40 the whole family was gathered in the great hall near the front door. They all pitched in to help carry bags to the fancy Audi SUV that had been prepared for the trip. They had mentioned that they were planning on taking the private jet. Tim wondered how much of this rigmarole would be skipped if they knew Tim already knew their secret. He knew they were most likely going to go to whatever fake business trip area they had decided on and take a Zeta-Tube to the bat-cave to gather the equipment for the real mission. If he wasn’t here, they probably wouldn’t have packed any bags for the airplane trip for one thing. Dick had as many clothes packed as a spoiled rich girl in all the movies. They had five minutes to spare by the end of that.
Dick started by giving a great big hug to Alfred, another great hug to Jason that Tim could tell was somewhat awkward, stopping to hold his arms out for Tim. Tim slowly came forward, hesitantly giving into the hug. They stayed hugging for a few moments as Tim practically melted in the embrace, enjoying the warmth and feeling of safety in gave him. Bruce was next, apparently done with his goodbye hugs for Alfred and Jason. It was a short but warm hug that Tim’s Bruce would only give on rare occasions. Tim was surprised to see yet another difference that Jason’s death and other trauma had left in Bruce.
After all of that they got in the car and drove away while Jason, Alfred, and Tim stood on the front steps watching them go down the long driveway. Tim was left feeling deflated, as he always did when people left on trips. It reminded him too much of his parents many goodbyes. Tim frowned, looking to the ground.
Jason interrupted the silence that had fallen. “So Timmy. Want to play a game?”
“Sure.”
“Tag! You’re it.” Jason shouted as he tapped him and took off running.
“I will be watching you from the security cameras young sirs. Make sure you stay on our property.” Alfred called after them as Tim also took off running.
He would have time to plan later, but for now he was going to enjoy whatever good moments came his way before he had to go back home.