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Chapter Text

Satisfied.

He was Satisfied with the completion of his work.

He had burned down and destroyed everything from the Witch Cult to the Sword Saint to reach his goal.

He was finally… Satisfied.

“I love you.”

The comfort of the void began to unravel as he felt these strange words shake his entire soul.

“I love you but I can't have you. Not like this.”

He could not respond. He could not object. But within the recesses of his mind he felt a mixture of betrayal and confusion. I am Satisfied. Let me stay here. Let me stay Satisfied.

“ I will always love you. Please, this time, try to love yourself too. Want more than to fulfill your one goal.”

He did not understand. He failed to understand. He did not need any love. He did not need anything more than the fulfillment of his goal. He needed nothing but himself and her victory.

“Natsuki Subaru… Be Greedy.”

He opened his eyes to find himself sitting in a chair, knife in hand. He was dressed, not in his Witch Cult robes nor his tracksuit, but in a formal outfit befitting the nobility: a pristine white shirt, a patterned black vest, shadow-black pants, and an odd black-jeweled necklace draped around his neck.

He looked around, glancing up to the room he found himself in, while muttering, “So I'm in some sort of mansion, possibly that bastard clown's…”

His gaze shifted back to the blade pointing towards his throat. He regarded the ivory and jewel-encrusted knife with curiousity, noting how it felt awkward in his grasp compared to his usual weapon of choice, continuing his muttering, “And it looks like I'm a moment away from suicide… huh…”

As he was about to return to observing whatever new environment he was suddenly transported to, a strange, feminine voice gently spoke into both of his ears at once, brimming with subdued excitement, "Oh my. Well this is an unexpected development."

Subaru frantically jumped out of his chair, nearly knocking it over, and got to his feet, dropping the fancy knife onto the floor with a soft clang in the process. He sharply turned around to see who the hell was whispering in his ears, his look of curiosity shifting to a determined scowl.

The same voice called out again, filled with obviously feigned hurt, but this time he could tell it came from somewhere even closer than just beside his head, ”You know, it wounds my maidenly heart for you to flail about like that.”

Again, Subaru desperately searched for the source of the voice, turning every which way and quickly scanning his surroundings. Finding himself seemingly alone, he called out to the increasingly annoying woman in frustration, “Who's there?! Who are you?! What do you want?!”.

The voice responded, a touch of impatience in her tone, ”As amusing as this is, we'll go nowhere at this rate. Touch the pendant around your neck if you desire answers to your questions.”

Subaru didn't particularly trust the voice that he was now convinced was just in his head. Instead of following its instructions, he took hold of said pendant and violently ripped the black-jeweled necklace off, tossing it across the room and landing it on the chair he previously sat in. 

After a tense moment of silence, it became clear that the voice had ceased. He breathed a sigh of relief, talking to himself in the process, “I already have enough weird shit going on in my head. I don't need DID too.”

Having calmed himself, Subaru once more surveyed his surroundings, this time taking in what there was rather than searching for a speaking entity.

There was a large, lavish, and seemingly unused bed in the center of the room, a few meters to the right of which sat a couch with a disheveled futon upon it. Between them was the chair he initially found himself in. It was simple and wooden, unlike the ornate bed and fancy couch, and upon it sat the previously talking black crystal he pointedly ignored. 

Sunlight was streaming through the large closed windows present opposite of the room's primary wooden door, reflecting off of the ivory of the knife he had cast to the side of the chair in his earlier panic. There was also what seemed to be a large dresser, adorned with sliding doors and ornate drawers alike, that stretched from floor to ceiling on the wall opposite to the bed. To the right of the dresser, on the same wall, was another door; only slightly less lavish than what he presumed was the room’s primary door, that he assumed led to a bathroom or closet.

Besides the numerous pieces of furniture which dotted it, the room was largely plain and undecorated. Had it not been for the messy futon and oddly placed chair, he would have assumed it to be a rather bourgeois but unused guest bedroom.

Before he could even begin to process this strange situation he found himself in and develop a plan of action, a knock and a voice came from the primary door, filled with youthful cheer, “Subaru-sama, dinner is ready!”

The voice was that of some unknown young girl yet they knew his name. It did not seem to hold malicious intent but he knew better than to trust appearances, recalling his first ever encounter with the Sin Archbishop of Lust. He chose not to answer, hoping they'd go away.

After a rather long moment of silence, the voice called out again, sounding slightly confused. “Subaru-sama did you hear me? Are you there?”

He thought to himself, weighing his options in his mind, ”Sounds like she's getting a little desperate. I don't want her to come in and see me so I guess I have to respond.”

Clearing his throat, he said in a calm voice, "Who's there?"

Sounding a little relieved but still slightly tense, the young girl replied, “What? Jeez, Subaru-sama don't tease me! It's Petra!”

"Who?" Subaru whispered, under his breath.

She continued, “Anyyyyways, dinner is ready! Emilia-sama and Roswaal-sama are already down there!”

Subaru would have liked to let the tension out of his body at the stranger's departing footsteps, but a whole new feeling filled him at the mention of his beloved's name.

He stuttered out his immediate reaction, “That- That's not possible… None of this makes any sense.”

With a nervous gulp, Subaru walked forward cautiously and opened the door. He saw the somewhat-familiar hallway of Roswaal's mansion, ornate paintings adorning every wall between countless identical doors. Although, something about it was off to him. But what could he know? He'd only been there a handful of times and never for long.

He thought to himself, ”I guess I should go wherever that girl’s headed. I won't pass up the chance to see my beloved again if she really is here.”

He began walking in what he assumed was the direction of the dining room as he lost himself deep in thought, the confused look on his face intensifying with time.

“Anyways, what the fuck is even happening here? First, there's that weird talking crystal. No idea what that's about. Next, there's this awfully tacky outfit I'm wearing that's completely unbecoming of both a NEET and a sin archbishop. And why was I holding a knife in hand like I was about to kill myself? It's been thousands of loops since I've needed to do it myself rather than letting my enemies do it for me. Speaking of which, why am I alive? Why am I here? What the fuck is happening? I completed my goal! Emilia killed me and became King! There's no one who could possibly alter that! No human can counter Return By Death! No… human…”

Subaru stopped walking for a moment as the gears continued to turn in his mind.

“I killed all the sin archbishops and not even the Divine Dragon could permanently kill me. That leaves really only The Sage Shaula, who I'm convinced is a fairy tale, the Witch of Envy herself, who should be sealed away, and The Sword Sai-”

Subaru's contemplative expression turned into a sour, angry one.

“That bastard Reinhard. It must have been him. He killed me thousands and thousands of times and finally must have gotten some god-forsaken Divine Protection to stop me.”

A smile formed on the madman's face.

“Well I'll just cook up an even bigger Birthday Surprise this time. One that'll really ruin him, Divine Protections or not.”

With a quiet laugh and a new spring in his step, The Sin Archbishop of Pride, Natsuki Subaru, gleefully skipped down the halls to see his beloved.

“I wonder how she'll react to seeing me again~”

The dining room held a plurality of the mansion's current occupants. At the head of the table, the Lord of the mansion, Roswaal L. Mathers, looked around with his usual benevolent smile plastered onto his clown-like face, his faithful oni maid servant Ram by his side. The candidate which he supported for the throne in Lugunica’s Royal Selection, the half-elf Emilia, mindlessly played with her distinct short, silver hair, ignoring anyone who wasn't Subaru and occasionally stealing glances at the main doors of the dining room. Making her rounds about the table, the Roswaal Estate’s junior maid Petra was serving bowls of soup for dinner, including for those not yet present.

Aside from the maidly work of Petra, the room was largely silent and devoid of conversation. However, this silence was broken with Subaru bursting into the room with a bright smile on his face, casually strolling in without a care in the world.

Roswaal's smile faltered with a single glance at the man. “That face, those eyes.” They were not the ones hidden behind the smiling mask of his emotionally dead partner struggling to justify his actions to himself. They were those of a madman, one whose mind was broken. He did not look tired anymore, just insane. Yet, in an incredibly off-putting way, he looked truly happy. The mage thought to himself, ”This does not bode well.”

Subaru, on the other hand, was nothing but excited as he looked upon Emilia’s seated form, ”Ah, there she is, my beloved. I don't quite understand the choice of cutting her beautiful, long silver hair but perhaps the stress of being King has gotten to her. Or maybe it was that bastard Reinhard's doing as well. This certainly will not do.”

All heads turned to Subaru but he was focused entirely on Emilia. He walked straight towards her before stopping and asking, a mad, expectant look on his face, "Emilia! Do you remember me?"

Confused, she tilted her head slightly and replied with a smile, "Remember you? Of course I do Subaru! How can I forget someone so dear to me?"

The mad smile faded and his eyes narrowed, irritation plain in his expression, “Dear to you? The hell is that supposed to mean? I'm the villain! You're supposed to detest and remember me for the rest of your days! If you don't then all of my work was worthless!”

Before anyone could respond, two of the mansion’s missing inhabitants arrived through a side entrance: Garfiel Tinsel and…

“Reinhard van Astrea”

Reinhard's default smile faltered as he heard the venom and hate that laced Subaru's statement of his name. He thought to himself, ”Ah finally, Subaru has come to see how worthless I truly am. He will cast me out just as Felt-sama did. I guess it was only a matter of time.”

The mansion's lord said to the now tense room, “My oh my, I thiiink we have some kind of misuuuunderstanding going on here.”

Subaru's fury was redirected to the unsavory mage as he shouted at Lugunica’s most powerful political figure, “Shut it, clown. I don't want to deal with your delusional nonsense today.”

Continuing his yelling, he gestured to the still pained red haired knight, “Speaking of which, you gave me assurances that he would never be allowed to join Emilia's camp!”

Every occupant in the room was shocked at Subaru's outburst because it was both insulting and confusing. They all collectively thought, “Was it not Subaru who brought him into the camp?”

The maid by Roswaal’s side was the first to respond to the outburst, promptly defending the honor of her master, “Subaru-sama, I kindly request that you cease insulting Roswaal-sama.”

The magician waved his hand to her dismissively, keeping his heterochromatic eyes on Subaru, “It's alllright Ram. Subaru-sama, what eeeeever is the maaaatter? Unless… are you not truly Natsuki Subaru?”

The last sentence being spoken without an accent and lacking his usual jovial tone sent a chill through the room. Everyone went immediately on edge.

The unaddressed demihuman beside Reinhard, as angry as usual, said “Oi! Th' hell 're ya talkin' about?”

The prideful man ignored the strange angry cat man, answering with a hand to his chest and passion in his voice, “Of course I am! I am Natsuki Subaru, Sin Archbishop of the Witch Cult, representing Pride!”

At this, Garfiel and Ram immediately dropped all pretenses of shock and jumped at Subaru with killing intent. Ram's wand was at the ready while Garfiel began a partial transformation.

Surprised at this reaction, Subaru could only think one thing as the pair lunged at him, ”OH SHI-”

But, suddenly, they both froze solid mid-attack along with the rest of the room besides Roswaal, Reinhard, and Subaru. The ice statues of Garfiel, Ram, and Petra all fell to the ground and shattered, their shocked and enraged expressions destroyed along with them.

The remaining occupants all turned to look at the incredibly angry half-elf standing beside Subaru, her posture indicating she was ready for battle. She held an arm out in front of the man she had just killed for and declared boldly, “NOBODY TOUCHES MY SUBARU!”

Roswaal was too stunned by Ram's death to take any actions against her but the red haired knight that stood on the other side of the table did not remain in shock. He pleaded with his relatively new liege, “Emilia-sama, that isn't truly Subaru! That man has confessed to being a member of the Witch Cult and needs to be apprehended and questioned! Subaru's life may be in danger!”

She glared angrily at the Sword Saint, ignoring any of the reason in his words and responded to him harshly, “Subaru is Subaru! I will never stop trusting him no matter what anyone says!”

Saddened, the knight moved to stand before her, conviction in his step, “Then you leave me no choice.”

Reinhard unsheathed his spare blade, light reflecting onto it from the icy room around them, while Emilia began to accumulate more mana, hundreds of lesser spirits appearing around her.

“Reinhard van Astrea of the line of the Sword Saint.”

“Emilia, just Emilia.”

He swung his sword and she cast her magic.

In a blinding flash of light, the new Roswaal manor was destroyed and, having been caught in the cross-fire, Natsuki Subaru lost his life.

Chapter Text

Subaru opened his eyes to the room one could easily mistake for being unused. This time, he was immediately greeted by the woman who sounded like she was whispering in his ears, “ Well that could have certainly gone better.”

He was slightly disoriented from his death, but, since it was largely painless and instant, he was able to reply fairly quickly, tossing the ivory and jewel-encrusted knife aside in the process, “Okay lady, who the fuck are you? I thought I threw your damn crystal away!”

He immediately began to rip the necklace off, greatly disliking the sensation of her speaking to him. It was feeling more like an uncontrollable intrusive thought than a real whisper with her every word. 

Sounding bored, she said to Subaru, “Like I said before, touch the pendant around your neck if you desire answers to your questions.”

Subaru paused and narrowed his eyes at the pendant. He spoke to her in the most stern tone he could muster, “Hold on. What do you mean by ‘before’?”

He cautiously thought to himself, ”Does she know about Return by Death?”

The boredom leaving her tone, the woman responded in what Subaru assumed was an attempt at a flirtatious intonation, “Such intensity in your voice. My heart will flutter if you keep this up.”

Impatient, he shouted back, “Answer my damn question!”

Almost audibly pouting, she replied, “You're no fun. And you're bad at listening. I already told you how to get your answers.”

“Okay enough of this shit,” he said, his patience having reached its limit. He ripped the necklace off his neck, breaking the delicate chain in the process, and, this time, tossed it at the window with a practiced throw. The glass shattered upon impact and the pendant flew outside.

“Whoops that may have been too hard-” he started to say, before being interrupted when the door a few meters in front of him burst open, revealing a rather concerned maid.

“Subaru-sama are you alright?! I heard some glass shatter!” she exclaimed, frantically glancing around the room for any irregularities before turning to Subaru.

He stood up from his chair, face to face with the amber-haired maid, and spoke with his irritation plain on his face and in his tone, “Listen little girl, I have no time for this right now. I need to go-”

He was interrupted yet again by the sound of the window opening to the right of him. He turned to see a man with flaming red hair and a slightly concerned look on his face stepping into the room. His voice calm, the knight spoke out to the black-haired boy, “Subaru, I noticed you threw this outside. May I ask why? And what it is, exactly?”

Shaking himself out of his state of shock, scowling, Subaru replied, "Of course you'd jump three stories in an instant like it was nothing just to irritate me."

Reinhard lowered his head and meekly stated, "I deeply apologize if I have offended you Subaru. It was not my intention nor my desire. Should you wish for me to destroy or dispose of this crystal, I shall accommodate you at on-"

Initially, Subaru was shocked at the lack of hatred the Sword Saint held towards him. Next, he was shocked by the friendliness and frank care in his voice. There was even a hint of respect in there. Only after acknowledging the strange reality that the Sword Saint, whose friends, family, and kingdom Subaru had ruthlessly destroyed, was treating him like a respected friend, did he finally interrupt.

“Have you lost it?” he asked, thoroughly confused.

Taken aback, Reinhard simply replied, "I-I'm sorry?"

Still confused, Subaru vocalized his thought process, “Either all your Divine Protections have failed you and you've finally gone insane or I've somehow managed to make a breakthrough in my own mental state and have gone double insane. I thought that Bete was kidding around when he talked about the nature of madness but clearly he was right.”

For the first time in a long time, Reinhard was at a loss for words. He simply stared at Subaru with a very un-knightley look of utter confusion, thinking to himself, ”Have… Have I acted in such a vile manner that Subaru not only questioned my sanity but also his own?”

In an attempt to break the awkward silence, Petra spoke up, " Ahem Well... Reinhard-sama, Subaru-sama… dinner is ready and the others are waiting in the dining room."

Excusing herself, Petra made her exit, leaving Subaru and Reinhard in the room alone together.

The door closed and then there was silence. An awkward silence. A really, very awkward silence. The two simply stared at each other, waiting for the other to speak.

“Have you finally decided to abandon me too, Subaru? Have I finally, truly demonstrated how much of a failure I am to you? Was it my treatment of Garfiel? My performance is Priestella? Was it my disrespect of this pendant that you always seem to hold with you no matter where you go?”

“What the fuck is going on? No, seriously. I ruined this man's life several times over and he's treating me like a friend. My greatest enemy who's killed me thousands of times is really just standing here confused about why I'm confused about his friendliness. I guess that makes me confused about why he's confused about why I'm- you know what? FUCK THAT. I'll just ask him.”

“Hey…” started Subaru, struggling to find the right words to express his confusion.

After a moment of thought, he settled on the most open-ended and simplest ones he could come up with.

“Why are you nice to me?” Subaru asked, bluntly.

“Why am I… nice to you?” Reinhard repeated, processing the question. 

The red haired man thought for a moment, confused by the inquiry. He answered as honestly as he could, saying “Well, the simplest answer to that question would be that we are comrades serving the same Lady.”

His voice dropped in tone, filling with a sense of melancholy, “However, the true reason is that… when the only one in the whole world who gave me hope abandoned me… you took my hand and welcomed me as a comrade… maybe even as a-”

The knight lowered his voice to a barely audible level, as if the next words were a whisper directly from his Od.

“-as a friend.”

To this, Subaru laughed. He laughed hard, loud, and proud. Subaru laughed with a greater intensity than he ever had before. 

“You… wheeze … we're... hahaha … you think we're friends?” said the madman, struggling to stand and hold back tears.

Reinhard looked absolutely mortified. He tried to keep himself composed before the laughing Subaru. He felt almost as hurt as when Felt left. He thought to himself, ”Yes, of course Subaru feels this way. I was a fool to think otherwise. I was a fool to dream, to even hope for a moment that I could be his friend, to have a friend.”

Reinhard stammered out a reply to the still laughing Subaru, “I- I am sorry for making such a presumption Subaru. It won't happen again.”

“Oh this is just precious . The man is on the verge of tears! The legendary Sword Saint whose power is comparable to a god's is about to cry because I laughed at his desire to be friends with me. I take it back, now this is Satisfaction.”

As Reinhard's face gradually contorted into a sadder and sadder expression, Subaru calmed himself and spoke to his nemesis in frank terms, “Sword Saint, as much fun as I'm having with laughing at your suffering, and believe me it is quite fun, I need you to tell me when and how exactly I ‘took your hand’. The last time anything remotely like that happened was when you tried to choke me to death.”

Emilia sat patiently in the dining room with only one thing on her mind: Subaru.

“Jeez that dunderhead is taking sooo long in getting here! He promised me he wouldn't be late again! You have to keep your promises! Promises… I keep my promises… like with Mother Fo-”

A splitting pain spread through her head. Although she tried hiding it from the other occupants in the room, she still felt her eyes wetten with tears at this train of thought.

“I have to focus! Subaru is the only one here who matters. He's the only one I can trust. Puck left me. Why Puck? Why Mo-”

The pain she felt this time spread to her heart. It felt as though it was frozen and broken in half. Unbeknownst to her, a chill started to spread throughout the room.

“I keep my promises so why does no one else? Why does everyone run away and abandon me? Except Subaru. Subaru's always there for me. Subaru will always save me. But where is he right no-”

Her train of thought was interrupted by the sounds of crashing and breaking behind her. She turned to see a rather bloodied Subaru being choked by an unusually angry Reinhard. It seemed as though he had been forcibly knocked through several walls and floors to end up in this position.

Subaru croaked out in as loud of a voice as a person with an immovable vice-grip around their neck could, "How the hell… are you… more mad… than last time?"

While he was physically incapable of speech at that moment, his mind still ran at its normal pace. He thought, “Clearly all those words of hate specifically designed to get under his skin that were never effective before become infinitely more potent when said by a perceived friend. Fuck. Why didn't I think of this before?”

“Everyone! This person can not be Subaru. He… knows things Subaru couldn't know and is saying things he'd never say,” Reinhard declared to the dining room occupants, holding an expression of moderate dislike which, for his mild mannered self, might as well be utter hatred. ”An imposter. He must be an imposter. Must be.”

Reinhard desperately tried to cling to the hope that the always correct, always knowing, always intelligent Subaru who saved so much and did so much good was incorrect about him. “He couldn't possibly know all of those things about my family. He could know I'm a monster but never truly why I am. He must be an imposter. Must be.”

“SUBARU!” shouted Emilia, who was the first to react to the odd display.

As if on reflex, the half-elf jumped out of her seat at the sight and ran to help Subaru. As she went, the whole room, if not the whole mansion, was instantly frozen. The maids, Garfiel, and likely all the foliage outside became statues of ice. Roswaal was still breathing, if barely. He had to cast fire magic upon himself to withstand Emilia's cold.

Reinhard maintained his grip on Subaru's neck, completely unaffected by the sudden chill. However, Subaru's resistance to the knight lessened as he began to lose feeling in his frozen hands. Every breath felt like he was huffing liquid nitrogen and he could no longer feel any of his lower body.

“GET AWAY FROM MY SUBARU!” the half-elf screamed, angered by Reinhard’s resistance.

The cold intensified and even Roswaal struggled to stay alive. Subaru felt like he was losing consciousness as his blood began to quite literally freeze.

“Emilia-sama! Please, there's something wrong with him! He isn't our- your Subaru!” said Reinhard, pleading with his liege.

The words they spoke grew progressively muffled to Subaru as the cold embrace of death neared.

“Subaru is Subaru! And I will trust him no matter what anybody says! Let him go!” declared Emilia, readying herself for combat and summoning countless lesser spirits to her side.

Unable to speak, Subaru merely thought to himself, “Not this… shit again.”

Again, Emilia and Reinhard stated their names. And again, Natsuki Subaru lost his life in a blinding flash of light.

Chapter Text

Subaru opened his eyes and his whole body immediately tensed up. He even began to curl up into a ball before stopping himself, thinking, “It's okay. It's okay. I'm okay. I'm back.”

“Even with that many deaths, it never becomes painless huh?” he said aloud to himself, wondering what the exact limit of his pain tolerance even was.

He took a deep breath and relaxed his whole body with a sigh, slumping down into the chair and continuing to think out loud, “I have to say, freezing to death is still one of my least favorite ways to go. It's probably second only to Capella's godforsaken authority of Lust.”

He shuddered at the recollection of said memory, scowling, “I'll never forget how it feels to have your consciousness shattered into hundreds of pieces.”

“In the past, Subaru always said the rabbit was his least favorite so I guess this means that you never encountered it. Fascinating,” commented the familiar whispering voice of the odd crystal lady.

Had he not relaxed himself, Subaru would have likely thrown the pendant again right then and there. Instead, he thought, “I guess there's nothing to be lost talking to this thing.”

“It wounds my maidenly heart to be referred to as such,” retorted the woman, sounding offended but unsurprised.

“Did… did you just read my fucking mind?” stammered the black-haired boy.

“As per our contract, we share every sensation you have. That includes your pain and your thoughts,” replied the voice, almost sounding smug.

“Wow that's… a massive breach of my privacy! My rights! Wait, I'm starting to sound like Regulus,” Subaru thought to himself, deeply disturbed by this mental intrusi on.

“It's not a breach of privacy if the sharing is consensual.”

“Okay I think I'm done with you... talking crystal, lady, thing. How do I break our contract that I do not remember signing?” asked Subaru, trying and failing to not sound desperate in his own thoughts.

“ Sigh . No matter what about you changes, you're still you.” 

The voice began to speak to him like a primary school teacher explaining a math problem for the eighth time, " Like. I. Said. Before. Touch the pendant around your neck if you desire answers to your questions."

“Alright, alright. But you better be honest with me after I do,” conceded Subaru, impatient and fed up as always. 

Grabbing a hold of the black crystal, he felt it begin to have a pulse of some kind, like it had a life of its own. The pulse sped and strengthened until it matched Subaru's own heartbeat. “This better not be some Lion's Heart Authority of Greed bullshit.”

And with that, Subaru blinked and found himself in a vast open field. There were small green mounds in every direction seemingly endlessly but before him was the only notable one. Atop it lay a table and two chairs, hidden in the shade of a parasol. There sat a woman Subaru had never seen before.

She had pure white hair but wore a black dress akin to those used when grieving. She was slender and not very well endowed yet she was beautiful. The green butterfly ornament in her hair complimented her looks wonderfully.

The woman gave him a knowing smile and said, “My, it's been quite some time since you've stared at me with such intensity. Have you finally begun to see me as a woman?”

Ignoring that comment, Subaru yelled out, "Alright, I touched your damn crystal. Now answer my questions."

The woman simply gestured to the seat across from her as she closed her eyes and took a sip from her teacup. Subaru sighed, walked up the mound, and sat in the chair.

“Well?” said Subaru, glaring at her expectantly.

The woman began to loudly sip from her tea cup as Subaru maintained his glare. This went on for a full minute. “How the hell is there even that much tea in the cup?” he mused to himself.

“You know, if you want me to drink your damn tea you could just ask,” pressed Subaru, quickly becoming sick of her shit.

Seeing no change in the woman's behavior, he grabbed the tea cup before him and chugged it in three seconds flat. Slamming the cup down on the table, he continued to glare, "Happy?"

She lowered her cup and stared at him with a smirk, "You seem rather eager to gulp down my bodily fluids like that."

“Your- sigh of course it's something like that. First it was Capella's dragon blood sharing and now it's piss tea. What's next? Swapping Spit with Sirius?” Subaru groaned, his opinion of the woman before him lowering even further than before.

“I never said which bodily fluid it was. For all you know, it could be my blood as well,” the woman pointed out, her face still holding the same smile.

“Whatever. I've tasted plenty of blood and stuff far worse than piss,” replied Subaru, before thinking to himself, ”I'll never get the sewage taste of a mabeast out of my mouth.”

“Fascinating.”

“So, you gonna answer my questions now?”

Pouting, she replied, "As always, you're still no fun."

Closing her eyes and raising a finger, the woman began a needlessly long sentence, “In the order that you asked them: No one's physically there but you, I am the Witch of Greed Echidna, Satisfaction, Petra, She's a maid under Roswaal's employ from Arlam village, she remembers Subaru but not you, that whore has feelings for Subaru because he made up for her useless and reliant nature, Echidna, I was referring to your previous loop, the Sword Saint is not insane but is merely filled with self hatred, Subaru gave him a place to go after secretly taking away the place he was already happy at, he hopes to be Subaru's friend but thinks himself unworthy, and he had his trust in the one person he can still rely on shatter to pieces.”

“…”

“Fascinating.”

With that, she noiselessly brought her tea cup to her lips and took another sip, awaiting his response.

“…”

“…”

“‘The Witch of Greed’, huh? I wonder if there's other ones too, like with the archbishops…”

“…”

“Repulsive,” he muttered under his breath, Echidna continuing to silently observe him.

“…”

“You failed to answer my final question, Witch of Greed,” Subaru finally said, addressing the Witch.

“I promised you answers to your questions but never to all your questions,” she clarified.

“Can you answer it now?”

“I'm fairly certain that I can.”

“…”

“…”

“Well?”

“What?”

“Answer the question!”

“What question?”

“Of course you're like this,” sighed Subaru, rubbing his eyes in frustration.

Echidna softly sipped her tea in response.

Meeting her gaze once more, Subaru declared boldly to the woman before him, “Echidna, the Witch of Greed, I demand that you tell me immediately how I can break our contract, that I have no memory of forging with you.”

The smile faded from her face as she gave Subaru a serious look, "I will tell you if you fulfill some requirements."

“And those requirements would be?” asked Subaru, relieved to finally be getting somewhere.

“First, I would like to know for what reason you would desire to break this contract that you prostrated yourself at my feet and begged for in the first place,” answered Echidna, still holding her intense, serious expression.

Subaru was slightly taken aback by that unusually aggressive comment but replied quickly nonetheless, “Clearly, I was either triple insane and I've gone back down to double cause I'd never make a contract that would impede on my autonomy to such a degree.”

“I am Pride after all,” he mused to himself.

“…”

Words from his first loop played out in his mind, “‘ are you not truly Natsuki Subaru?’ Was that clown right?”

“… or I've found myself in the shoes of another Natsuki Subaru who made all these terrible decisions for me,” he finally stated.

Echidna’s smile returned and she merely said one word in response, “Fascinating.”

After several minutes of silence filled only with the gentle sound of the passing wind, Subaru stood up from his chair. He did a quick stretch and looked back down at Echidna, asking a simple question, “Are you able to see what I do even without my wearing of your crystal?”

“In a way, yes,” she replied, clearly hiding something.

He sighed before continuing, “I trust that Natsuki Subaru had a very, very good reason for doing this with you so I'll hold off on the divorce papers for now. But I'll be back to break this contract next time we speak unless circumstances change.”

Seemingly unconcerned with the prospect of severing their bond, the Witch questioned him largely emotionlessly, “Why are you leaving so soon?”

“I have to do the one thing I always do: gather information.”

Subaru walked back to the place where he first found himself after touching the crystal. To his surprise, a door had suddenly appeared there. “I guess that's the exit then.”

He opened the door and turned before entering, his gaze landing on Echidna.

He thought to himself, a slight frown on his face, “Just like with Elsa, another useful woman who's so beautiful yet so repulsive. What a fucked up world I live in.”

He stepped through and exited Echidna's Castle of Dreams.

Now alone, Echidna sipped her tea calmly, a smile on her face. It seemed far more genuine than the one she'd shown to Subaru for the duration of their meeting.

"Just when I thought my love would fade. You never cease to satisfy me, Natsuki Subaru."

Chapter Text

“I'm getting sick of this room.”

Subaru opened his eyes and promptly got to his feet. He took off Echidna's crystal calmly and tossed it onto the unused bed. Eyeing the nearby clock, he wondered, “If time slowed to a crawl in that Witch's Windows XP background of a home, does that mean she waits years for me to put the necklace back on?”

He smirked to himself, “I honestly hope that's the case even if it's unlikely. Damn Witch is privy to my innermost thoughts.”

A knock came from the door, shaking him out of his sadistic thought process, "Subaru-sama, dinner is ready!"

Better prepared this time, he cleared his throat and put on his calmest, least insane voice, "I'll be there in just a moment Petra. Go on ahead without me."

“Okaaaay… I mean, Understood Subaru-sama!” she replied.

As her footsteps could be heard walking away from the door, Subaru said to himself, “Cute kid. Obviously, Meili is easily my favorite loli but still.”

Leaving the room and heading towards the dining room, Subaru thought to himself, “I wonder if Meili and Elsa are alive in this timeline. Elsa's real tough so I'm sure she's fine but I wonder about Meili. Well, questions for later I guess.”

Standing before a side entrance to the dining room, Subaru took a deep breath. He arched his back and did a series of long unused stretches. He then placed his hands on his face and rubbed his skin around like it was wet clay. Adopting a neutral expression, he cast his mind back to one of his few happy memories. Not his death by Emilia, not his Birthday Surprise to Reinhard, and not the sound of Regulus burning alive. He closed his eyes to recall a truly, purely, sanely, happy thought.

Subaru sat alone in his makeshift office. Well, office was a generous word. It was more like a random shack in the slums he had… appropriated from a local well-feared thief. No one would approach that man's building so no one would approach Subaru's "office", even if they didn't know it was now his.

And to say he was purely "alone" is also not quite correct. He had the stalwart companionship of his pet cat, Blue, who was laying on a tattered pillow a few feet from Subaru, taking a nap. The passive sound of soft purring served to calm Subaru and help him focus.

What he was working on is irrelevant. He was likely just organizing his thoughts for his next mission. Thinking up workarounds and plans to address Authorities and authorities alike was difficult work after all.

The sound of soft sobbing.

Subaru put down his quill and listened intently, blocking out Blue's purrs.

“It sounds like it's coming from the other room. That's… odd. Either I have an unexpected guest or someone I know is having an emotional breakdown. Considering the type of people I know, the former is far more likely.”

Subaru stood up from his desk and grabbed his orange knife from his bottom-left most drawer. Each drawer contained a seemingly identical orange knife but this one was special. It was named Todd. He didn't like the name Todd. And he was sure his guest would also grow to dislike Todd too.

Blue stirred from its sleep at the movement and looked up at Subaru, "Myaster?"

Subaru walked over to Blue, Todd in his left hand, and gave it a gentle headpat with his right. He whispered in a calming voice, "Hush, Blue. Go back to sleep. I'm just taking Todd out for a walk."

With that, Blue slumbered once more as Subaru and Todd sneaked their way into the other room. Well, Subaru was doing all the sneaking. Todd was a knife after all.

Subaru cautiously turned his head around the corner and spotted a young girl with green hair and green eyes sitting on the floor, covered in blood, and weeping.

He thought to himself, a malicious smile on his face, “Todd, I found you a new Best Friend.”

Subaru revealed his presence with a light cough and stared down at the bloodied girl before him. She looked up, and instead of screaming or shrinking in fear, she just sobbed a little quieter.

“That's… not a normal reaction.”

He spoke to the girl in a stern tone, “Kid. Hey, kid.”

The young girl looked up into his eyes, tears slowing but not stopping.

“Who are you? Why are you here? And what can I do to get you to leave?” he continued.

The little girl stammered out a reply, “I- My n-name is Plum. I'm here be-because I have nowhere else to go. I'm sorry for bothering you Thief-san.”

She bowed her head courteously to Subaru, still crying a bit, prompting him to think, “Man this is depressing. Sorry Todd, change of plans.”

“Kid, do you have parents? What's their names? What do they do for a living?” Subaru said, slightly less stern than before.

She seemed unsurprised by his questions. She seemed like she felt really nothing at all but a numb grief. So she answered him without hesitation, “One day M-mom disappeared so I don't know what she works as now. B-but Dad's name is Kadomon. He sells fruit.”

For a moment, a nostalgic smile came to the madman’s face as he thought, “Ohhhhhhh. The Save Point Guy! I remember him! Good Times. Well, actually, they were awful times but still.”

Subaru kneeled on the floor next to Plum and asked her in a lighter tone, similar to one he uses for his cat, "Where is he now?"

Plum started to sob harder as she recalled the memory, the numb grief coming to life again as she spoke, "H-he was drafted by the army. He was going to f-fight the bad guys. H-he was going to bring me a p-present from Vollachia. But he… he…" she trailed off as her tears became uncontrollable.

Subaru looked at her with apprehension.

“My only two living friends are a psychopath and a deeply emotionally disturbed child. Both are assassins. I really don't know how to comfort people anymore do I?”

He sighed, and decided on a course of action, “It would be awkward and lack any sincere warmth but it's better than nothing.”

He pulled her close and gave her a tight hug, likely tighter than was comfortable, and tried his best to speak pleasant words, "It's okay. You're okay. I'm here. Todd's here too if it matters to you."

“T-Todd?” she asked. She felt slightly uncomfortable in the rigid embrace but the unfamiliar name served as a good distraction.

Partially releasing her from the hug, Subaru showed her the orange knife he held. She instinctively reached out to touch it and said, “Todd-san is very cold…”

Without missing a beat, Subaru replied, “He's shit at child-care.”

Subaru took the day off. He carried Plum around on his shoulders as he wandered the city, earning weird looks. He was still wearing a black and orange cloak that looked suspiciously witch-culty after all and she was still covered in blood. He showed her the sights to see that were left standing: Fountains, Bridges, the distant Royal Castle. Each one slightly improved her mood and she became fast friends with Todd, even if he was being a Kuudere at her.

As much as he wanted to bring her to the alley where he got mugged nearly a hundred times, he made a point to avoid passing by the old site of the fruit stand that was once his save point, even if it was the part of the city he was most familiar with. Even the Sin Archbishop of Pride knew that it wouldn't do any good for the little girl's emotional state.

Eventually, after a long journey where he had to resist the urge to throw away Todd and leave him in some slum dweller's chest, he arrived at a particular building in the city's noble district. It was a place he despised. It was the city house of the Astrea family.

He raised the hood on his cloak to activate the unfamiliarity charm the damn clown put on it and walked to the door. He knocked hard three times.

“Where are we Thief-san? I don't think Todd-san would like this place very much…” muttered Plum. She seemed anxious about coming to this well-to-do neighborhood but Subaru's nonchalant attitude brought her a strange sense of comfort.

“As we've established, Todd can go fuck himself,” Subaru calmly replied.

“Who is it?” said a third, rather strained voice on the other side of the door.

Subaru tensed at the words and let out a silent prayer that the bastard didn't have a Divine Protection that saw through his cloak.

The door opened when no response was given, revealing a handsome red haired man. He let off an impression of elegance and class, even if he also looked very, very tired.

“Who are y- ARE YOU OKAY MISS?” Reinhard said, abruptly cutting himself off and quickly kneeling down to check on the safety of the bloodied little girl. To his relief, she was safe and sound. He turned to the man beside her, rather exasperated, asking “Why is she covered in blood?”

His question was filled with more worry and confusion than anger yet Subaru responded coldly anyway, “It was Todd's fault.”

“Todd?” Reinhard replied, confused at the unfamiliar name.

Subaru pointed at the orange knife in her hands.

After staring at it for a moment, Reinhard looked back up for a moment and addressed the cloaked Subaru, “Sir... with all due respect, that knife is both clean and seemingly unused.”

He just shrugged at the Sword Saint, brushing off his infinite expertise in all things blade-related as nothing too special, saying “Todd's just built different.”

The little girl readily agreed with the cloaked man, an excited and determined smile forming on her face as she showed off the knife. She beamed as she said “Yeah! Todd-san's really special!”

Reinhard looked like he was at a loss for words. Strange things like this were occurring all too often in recent months. He eventually settled on saying, "So, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

Instantly, as if nothing weird was going on, the Witch Cultist replied, “This girl's lost her family and she can't stay with me. I was hoping you can take care of her for a bit. Maybe find her a home. You can sell Todd if you need money for it. In fact, I insist you sell him at your latest convenience. It'll be tough to get rid of a slacker like him but-”

The little girl eventually caught up with her new care-taker's words and interrupted him, a betrayed look on her face, “Thief-san! B-but my home is with you now! And Todd-san!”

He looked down at the girl with a slight frown and thought to himself, “Man, I knew this was coming but... I didn't expect it to affect me like this.”

Subaru knelt down and pulled her into another hug. It was far less rigid and forced this time. There was a genuine warmth and care being conveyed through it. An expression of guilt and true human sadness came to his face, even if no one but Reinhard could see it.

“I'm... I'm sorry Plummy. Take good care of Todd for me. Lord knows he can't take care of himself,” said Subaru, distracting from the sincerity of his apology with a joke.

As she began to try and object again, Subaru turned to the red haired knight, "Reinhard, please."

He let out a small sigh and used some magic to put her to sleep. He picked her up, held her in his arms, and placed the knife on her stomach. Looking up at Subaru, Reinhard said “As a knight, I should arrest you for abducting her, stealing this knife, and whatever other crimes you may have committed.”

Subaru stood to look at Reinhard, crossing his arms and scowling at him.

Maybe it was his old optimism that had died in the recent past having a second wind or maybe it was the strange remorseful expression the hooded man held just a moment ago but... despite his harsh words, Reinhard gave him a soft smile and said “But I'm on my day off. And it seems like Todd-san is in good hands now.”

Subaru tried to say thank you but couldn't bring himself to. He did not know if it was because he couldn't thank his nemesis or because, for a reason he didn't understand back then, he was saddened to see her go.

Instead, he simply turned around and walked away, a handful of tears littering his face.

“A seemingly sad memory. But it was happy in a very special way. It was the last time I can remember being human. Being normal. Feeling… regret.”

Subaru gave the same sad, tired smile Reinhard gave a timeline and years away and walked into the dining room.

Chapter Text

Entering the now familiar dining room, Subaru gave a wide surveying look to what was before him.

“Clown at the head of the table, pink maid by his side. One wrong step and he'll see through me. Orange maid likely in the kitchen, getting the meal ready. Tiger boy and Reinhard still not here. Emilia hasn't noticed my entrance yet.”

Subaru closed his eyes for a moment to regain his sad, human smile before making his presence known. He couldn't risk the clown seeing through him.

" Thief-san! B-but my home is with you now! And Todd-san!"

He walked forward into the room and all eyes shifted to him.

Roswaal was having a surprisingly awful day. It was going fairly well at first but, right before he entered this dining room, something entirely unexpected happened.

Now, for a man with a book that tells the future, there's very little that can surprise Roswaal's four hundred year old soul. In fact, only two things could possibly do that.

First, reality could have deviated from the gospel's text. This almost never happened but it was usually of little consequence. The last time he can remember it happening was back when his J body died a little too early.

Second, the gospel's text itself could change. This has never once occurred since he received said gift from his beloved teacher and, dragon willing, he hoped it never would. Yet, today it had.

For the first time in a very long time, his beloved teacher's gospel had updated and he has never once been more on edge. Perhaps only the fight with that man centuries ago could compare.

Pages of text were wiped clean and his gospel, his guiding light, his one source of hope and happiness, had vanished.

So, sitting at the head of the dining room table, Roswaal was trying his absolute hardest to stay calm, appear normal, and silently pray that the one person who could fix this mess was not the one who caused it.

“I leave it to you, Natsuki Subaru.”

Emilia's face lit up like a Christmas tree when she saw Subaru enter the room. She beamed at him and gave him an enthusiastic, "Good Afternoon, Subaru!"

He put into practice all the mental fortitude that he had built since he came to this world, thinking “I've lived through the shattering of my consciousness and braved the most gruesome of deaths. I can keep this damn smile on my face.”

Subaru, with the same genuine, tired smile said back, "Good Afternoon, Emilia."

Her smile visibly faltered. “Just Emilia…?” she thought.

Noticing her reaction, Subaru silently deliberated, “Okay, clearly I'm closer with her than expected. My formal tone has somewhat upset her. Noted.”

Trying his best to ignore the visibly displeased Emilia for a moment, Subaru took the seat beside her and glanced up at Roswaal. It seemed clear as day to Subaru that the clown's gaze was boring a hole through him, searching for something out of place. Subaru turned his sights forward and closed his eyes for a moment.

In his usual jovial tone, complete with a sizable helping of underlying intensity, Roswaal spoke aloud, “What eeeeever is the maaaatter, Subaru-sama? Something on your miiiiind?”

Subaru tensed up at the mage’s words and thought to himself, ”Well that's a fucking trap if I've ever seen one. There's really no good answer to that. I guess the one thing that'll never fail is the truth.”

“A regret, a mistake, and a smile I'll never see again,” replied Subaru, a hint of genuine remorse in his tone. 

Subaru relaxed his body at the conclusion of his words, somewhat proud of his cryptic answer, “Wow. Poetic? Check. Open to interpretation? Check. Probably True? Check. Good work truth.”

The clown’s eyes narrowed at the black-haired boy as he responded, the smile fading from his face, “Hmmmm. Intereeeesting. Coooould it be thaaaat… you are not truly Natsuki Subaru?”

The madman immediately went back on edge and a mild panic filled him as he thought, “FUCK. Todd's more trustworthy than the truth at this point. Lies all the way next time.”

Subaru tried his hardest to look confused but ended up looking even more guilty. He had lost his tired smile and his tone hardened as he shot back, “Whatever could you mean, Roswaal?”

A smug, satisfied smirk came to the margrave’s face as he replied without missing a beat, “It's just thaaaat you're acting awwwwfully different today.”

Emilia shifted her gaze between the two men as the back and forth went on, getting more confused by the minute. “Subaru does look a little funny but he's still Subaru! Right?”

Maintaining his cool, calm facade, he asked, "How so?"

“My amazin' self thinks he's actin' as suspicious as usual today,” interjected a scowling Garfiel, entering the room at the Sword Saint’s side.

“Now shut yer trap. You'll ruin my meal.” he declared, visibly disgusted with both Roswaal and Subaru.

The pink maid shook off her surprise at the earlier conversation and moved immediately to her master's defense, saying, “Garf, that's no way to speak to Roswaal-sama and Subaru-sama.”

Garfiel turned his head to Ram and tilted it slightly, "Eh? I give respect where 's due. After all, 'Thomas 'nd Hoshin never got along'". With that, he sat at the table and ignored everyone as he waited for his meal.

Ram was about to pursue the point further but, with her master raising his left hand, she let it be for now.

Similarly, confident that pushing Subaru further would help no one, Roswaal also remained silent, thinking, “I wonder. Does this man have Natsuki Subaru's power as well?”

Now that everyone was seated and Petra had served all the bowls of soup, the dinner finally commenced. After tasting just a single spoonful, Reinhard turned to the amber-haired maid and said, “Petra-san, this soup is wonderful. Thank you for this meal.”

Petra bowed and thanked the red haired man for the compliment as Subaru resisted his impulse to spout insane nonsense.

“Saying ‘6/10, not enough Witch Piss’ is probably not something this Natsuki Subaru would say. Fucking loser.”

In the middle of his meal and thought process, he felt a small poke at his side. He turned to see Emilia looking at him with concerned eyes.

“Wow. Up close that silver hair is truly magical. And those amethyst jewels she calls eyes are just something else. I don't think I've ever really been this close to her.”

“Subaru? Roswaal's right, you're acting a little strange,” she said, clearly feeling discomfort at her Subaru’s erratic behavior.

If Subaru were in his right mind, he'd take great issue with her concern. But, at the moment, he was too entranced by her visage to be concerned with his usual mad ramblings. At the sound of the silver bells that were her voice, he could only utter a single thing.

“Emilia. You really are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.”

At the sincere compliment lined with no humor nor teasing, Emilia was shocked for a moment before blushing a little. She looked away as those words echoed through her mind and she blushed some more. Then, looking back up to see Subaru was still staring at her with the softest eyes she'd seen on him in months, she blushed even harder, stammering out, “S-subaru. Y-you dunderhead. You shouldn't tease me like that!”

Without hesitation nor pause, Subaru immediately replied, "I'm only saying what I believe. You really are the prettiest person I've ever laid eyes upon."

He smiled. Not the tired smile from a fading memory nor the mad smile he usually wore. He had a soft, gentle smile. One he hadn't had in many, many years.

A voice from a confused, distorted recollection of the past rang through his infatuated mind, " Want more than to fulfill your one goal."

“What more could I want? What else is there to have but her?”

His eyes widened, “Have...her?”

Subaru snapped out of his trance and shook his head, turning away from Emilia. Unbeknownst to him, he had developed a slight blush, the only blush he'd had since he first saw her all those years ago.

“The fuck am I thinking?! I can't have her! She needs to be King and Reinhard must fall! The only way to do that is through my death!”

He whispered under his breath, "I have to be the villain. Have to."

The madness and hatred this world had instilled in him began to fill his eyes. He was determined to fulfill his goal. To be Satisfied once more. “I'll take this loop as far as I can go, gather information, develop a plan of attack, and-”

He felt a warmth grab hold of the side of his body and silver bells chimed, "It's okay Subaru. You're my Subaru. You shouldn't cry."

“Cry? I haven't cried in-”

He felt the heat of tears on his face as he processed what was going on.

His voice shaking, he stuttered out, “Y-you're hugging me. And I-I'm crying?”

Her tone gentle, she continued, “I like to see this part of you sometimes, Subaru. I don't like it when you hide things. I'm reeeealy happy right now!”

A warmth in his chest. A warmth in his eyes. A warmth at his side. “What is this?”

" Natsuki Subaru… Be Greedy."

Of no conscious will of his own, he wrapped his arms back around Emilia. He didn't understand why he did it. He just understood it was the right thing to do.

“The right thing to do? But I'm the villain aren't I? I do the evil acts she never could so that she can be the hero! Then…”

The tears began to flow faster.

“Why? Why does this feel so warm? So happy? Why does this make me feel… Satisfied?”

His eyes widened and a pure smile grew on his face.

“Is this what you meant? To want this? To be Greedy and have her? Am I allowed such Satisfaction? Is the villain allowed a Happy Ending?”

“Emilia?”

“Yes, Subaru?”

“Can I be happy?”

“Of course.”

“Can I be Satisfied?”

“I'll make sure you are, just like how you always keep me safe.”

“Can I… Can I have you?”

She brought him even closer into their embrace and spoke directly into his ear, “You already have me, my Subaru.”

The dining room was quiet with the exception of Subaru's sobs. Silently, as to not disturb them, the rest of the occupants finished their meals and left the room. Even Garfiel restrained his urge to ruin their moment.

They stayed there for quite some time. Subaru cried for quite some time. He had been so alone for quite some time. And, for that long moment, he felt Satisfied with her by his side.

Chapter Text

An empty void. Nothing but eternal, stretching darkness in every direction. Yet, the darkness had shape. It formed into clumps to create in a place without creation.

A girl, perhaps two of her, lived in this darkness. Waiting. Watching. Hoping.

Alone. Alone. Alone?

A boy, far from home, often visited this darkness. He hurt. He hurt. He hurt.

A madman, once pure hearted, lived here now. His power unused. Unseen.

A little king, proud of his rights, lived here now. His power not wanted. Heartless.

These three, perhaps four, lived separate from the travelling boy. Another's love kept them at bay. Another's Greed kept him all to herself.

But now, the traveling boy is… different. He rejects her Greed. She is now powerless in the void.

The girl, who is two, is back in control. And that which was Unseen and that which was Heartless will be Seen and will have Heart.

Can the travelling boy's vision overpower another's? Can the travelling boy's heart hold more than another's?

These questions were left unanswered. Her Greed would not allow another to have her toy.

But now they demand answers.

If Natsuki Subaru is no longer alone,

If Natsuki Subaru rejects her Greedy hand,

How will he live with those Unseen forces in his Heart?

“Fuck that was a weird dream. And this is coming from the guy who dreams about being a plumber named Samuel in a mayo-themed and mayo-powered ‘water’ park.”

“I miss normal dreams,” he groaned, still in the process of waking up.

“What did you dream about?” a voice replied, kind and gentle.

He, responding well to the soothing words, answered her honestly, “Well, there was this girl. No, wait, there were two of her. But yeah there was this-”

Subaru suddenly came to his senses as a chill spread through his body. He saw Emilia's head above him, looking down with a smile that could scare even Cthulhu himself at the mention of his literal dream girl.

He tried to shoot up and flee from his impending doom but Emilia's elven strength pinned him in place. “FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK”

“You know, I'm reeeealy interested in knowing more about this girl my Subaru was dreaming about as he slept on my lap,” she said, her smile strengthening along with her grip on him. Any harder and she'd start breaking bones.

Subaru, fearing for his life and still dazed by his sudden awakening, was unable to craft a clever lie. “Truth don't let me down again. If you do, I'm gonna find Todd in this timeline and stab you with him.”

“W-well Emilia…” he said, stuttering and nervous, her grip tightening at the use of her plain name. 

Subaru ignored the sound of his ribs shattering and continued, his voice shaking, “I-I couldn't see her well because it was very, very dark but she had beautiful silver hair a-and, if I saw correctly, gorgeous amethyst eyes.”

The chilling cold and extreme pressure on his body vanished as the smiling face above him turned red and was covered with a pair of hands.

“Thank God that worked. I don't know how I was gonna stab a concept. Also I don't really want to find Todd again. But knowing my luck, he'll find me in time.”

“S-Subaru you nincompoop!” she stammered out.

“Who even says ‘nincompoop’ anymore?” he replied, still slightly pained by his numerous fractured ribs.

He spent a moment taking in the sight of a blushing Emilia before coming to his senses again, saying, “Broken bones and mild frostbite aside, I am incredibly comfortable right now. Whoever made the pillow I'm laying on deserves a raise. Maybe two.”

Emilia uncovered her face, having composed herself, and lightly poked his cheek, saying, “Dummy. You're resting on my lap, like I said.”

Processing this, along with the fact that Emilia's face was so close, gave Subaru only one thing to say: “I think I can die happy having done this.”

A concerned look grew on Emilia as she started to admonish him, “Subaru, you know I don't like it when you say stuff like that. If you break any more promises, I'll have to give you a knuckle sandwich!”

He feigned remorse and hid his fear of losing any more ribs, saying, “My bad. I promise to only die in your embrace when you allow me to. Also, no one says ‘knuckle sandwich’ anymore either.”

Giving him a light pout, Emilia started to play with his hair as they remained in each other's silent company. The only noises in the dark, moonlit room were the sounds of their breathing and the light breeze of the night creeping in through an open window.

“Honestly, I really think I could lay here for hours just staring at her. I- I'm still not sure if this is something I deserve… but I just can't bring myself to leave her side.”

“Subaru. It's been a reeealy long time since you've let me see you like this. That smile you don't even know you have makes me feel so warm inside. Dummy. Making me feel weird.”

“Emilia?” he asked her, his eyes intently studying her head.

“Hmm?” she replied, still playing with Subaru’s hair.

He took a moment to find the correct phrasing before saying, “Why did you cut your hair?”

Her hands stopped in their tracks as she replied, “You always spend so much time with that sleeping girl…”

Her gaze shifted away from Subaru's as she continued, “S-so I thought that maybe you liked her short hair better… so… ummm…”

Subaru lifted his arm and placed his hand on her cheek. She met his eyes again. They were soft and seemed unburdened by the years of pain that normally sharpened them.

“Emilia. I only have eyes for you now. I can't speak for my past self but you're the only one in this world who makes my heart flutter,” he said before thinking to himself, “You're the only one who can.”

As she processed these words, he continued, "I love you, Emilia. I love you and only you."

She wrapped her arms around him and bent down for a hug. He could feel her tears wetting part of his shirt. He did not mind.

“This warmth. How have I lived without it for so long? How did I go through each day so cold? I don't want to be the-”

He forcibly stopped his own train of thought. He couldn't let himself think that. If he thought that, then all his crimes were unnecessary. If he thought that, what he was, what he had been for so long, would crumble into pieces.

Emilia began to weep into his shirt, saying, “Subaru… I-I was so worried for s-so long. I-I thought you were lying t-to me. You're the only one I can trust and I-I thought you were lying… thank you, Subaru.”

She wanted to say ‘I love you too’ but could not bring herself to. She thought to herself, still holding him tight, “I don't know what that even is yet. I am so close to understanding though. I can feel it. I can finally reply to him soon. Soon.”

They spent some time like this; warm in each other's embrace under the comforting moonlight.

Emilia had fallen asleep, resting her head on Subaru's chest. Trying not to disturb her, he carefully and silently maneuvered out of his beloved's lap pillow. He picked her up gently, brought her to the nearby bed, and tucked her in.

“This is so much harder to do with broken ribs.”

“Good Night, Emilia,” he said, his voice gentle and calm.

He gave a light kiss to her forehead and let her sleep in peace.

As he navigated his way back to his own room, he was lost deep in thought.

“No matter what my exact goals end up being, I still have to protect her. Considering what I've seen up until now, it's safe to say that the Royal Selection has yet to end. First, I need to know what day and year it is exactly, for reference. Next, I need to find the differences between this timeline and my own. If there are still sin archbishops out and about, I'll need to eliminate them again. And, as much as I hate to say it, it would be far easier to do with Reinhard around. Maybe building his trust in me is the only way to properly crush him?”

Subaru shook his head as he walked.

“I'll figure out the answer to the Reinhard Question later. For now, I need to gather information before all else. Random speculation will get me nowhere.”

“What tools do I have at my disposal?”

Subaru extended seven fingers, one for each person he had met in the mansion thus far.

“I'll figure Reinhard out later.”

He lowered a finger.

“I have to still break my contract with that Witch.”

He lowered a finger.

“The clown is different in this timeline but he likely isn't loyal to me.”

He lowered a finger.

“The orange maid is a non-combatant and the pink maid is loyal to the clown.”

He lowered two fingers.

“The tiger boy hated Subaru and hates me.”

He lowered a finger.

“Out of all the people I've encountered so far in this world, it seems only Emilia is truly on my side. Well, even that is in question if I come clean about not being her Subaru.”

He lowered his last finger and let out a light sigh as he said to himself, “I miss Elsa. She's a bitch but she was always far easier to work with.”

“Ara Ara, is that really a way to talk to a lady,” a voice replied, lined with its usual murderous intensity.

Subaru turned around to see standing behind him, knife in hand, a rather familiar face.

Chapter Text

“ Sigh. When have you ever been a normal lady?” Subaru said, casually addressing the assassin that had suddenly appeared before him.

This reaction caused Elsa to pause for a moment. She looked deep into his hazel eyes, past the madness that she mistook for the depression that usually filled them. “He's different,” she thought, a wide smile coming to her face.

“Maybe I could show you how much of a lady I am~” she said, her gaze hungry and intense. But this didn't bother him whatsoever.

“Nope. I prefer my entrails right where they are thank you very much. I already have broken ribs, I don't also need torn muscles,” he replied, beginning to grow annoyed at her unspoken antics. However, his apathy only made her want him more... and he noticed.

“Oh, but you're so much more of a man than when I last saw you,” she said, approaching him with a blush on her face.

“You make me want to feel your warmth right here and now,” she whispered, close enough for him to feel her breath on his skin.

And then, without even a second's hesitation, he casually flicked the infamous and incredibly deadly assassin that could kill him in a second's forehead.

“Stop that Elsa. I only have eyes for one. I find you repulsive. You should know that,” he said, leveling a stern glare her way.

He brought his arm back to his side and asked, "And what do you mean by 'more of a man'?"

“You were always cowering in fear of me. Even after two years of partnership, I could smell your fear despite how much you concealed it. But now…”

She licked her lips and continued, saying, “You're not even a little afraid. I want to see how that confidence reflects in your bowels.”

The answer was about what Subaru expected so he remained unfazed, continuing the morbid conversation as casually as a discussion about the weather, “Alright, alright. One day, if I'm in the mood, I might let you disembowel me. So give me your damn report already.”

“Don't make promises you can't keep, employer-san~” she thought before replying, “Again, Gluttony was not at the location you indicated. However… I did set free all the cultists that were there.”

At this information, Subaru closed his eyes and brought a hand to his chin, pretending to stroke an evil goatee, and thought to himself, “Are you an idiot Natsuki Subaru? Obviously someone's intentionally giving you hints at locations where they left a bunch of fodder cultists to keep you distracted. If I had to guess, I'd say it's either Bete or Capella.”

Still thinking and without meeting her eyes, Subaru asked, “Elsa, how many of the archbishops have I killed?”

She looked slightly confused by the question but answered anyway, "You killed Sloth two years ago around when you slew both the White Whale and the Great Rabbit."

“Two years ago, huh? So we’re one year ahead in this timeline, assuming that the other me killed Bete around the same time I did to save Emilia. It does line up with that Whale appearance... Although, I can't begin to fathom why he'd kill two of the three Great Mabeasts. Without the Whale, Karsten would stay in the race and Blue would remain her knight.”

“Any others?” he asked, prompting her to continue her list, “And about a year ago, the Witch Cult raided Priestella. You lead the defense of the city, killing Greed and capturing Wrath. Lust managed to escape.”

Subaru sighed to himself at this news, filled with a mix of relief and annoyance, opening his eyes and staring at the floor as he thought, “Well it's good news that I don't need to convince all of Regulus's wives again. And it's great to hear that I can easily take care of Sirius as well. But Capella and the Gluttonies are going to be annoying to deal with. Really, other me, you gotta pick up the slack.”

“I guess I'll take what I can get,” he muttered to himself before raising his voice and gaze alike while addressing the assassin again, “Elsa, did any of the defeated archbishops' gospels survive?”

She tilted her head as if in thought, "I believe that you have Sloth's gospel while Greed's was destroyed and Wrath's is in the custody of the Royal Knights."

“I guess it's better than nothing.”

“Alright. One last question,” he said, fixing his eyes on hers.

“Of course, employer-san~” she said, ecstatic at the look in his eyes, before thinking, “I have a feeling he's going to be so much more fun from now on~.”

“Is Meili alive? If so, I will need her services at some point in the future. Potentially in the near future,” he bluntly asked, aware but unafraid of the possible consequences of such an inquiry.

She gave him a calculated look before stating, “Employer-san… you do realize you've been holding her prisoner in this mansion for the past two years, correct?”

She began to reach to her side to grab her kukri blade.

“Oh that's not good at all,” he thought, mildly annoyed at the prospect of having to sit through yet another awkward dinner.

“I must confirm something,” she said, her tone cold and intense.

“Okay, so either I'm dead or I gave her an effective security question in the case that someone attempted to impersonate me. Here's hoping I can answer.”

She cleared her throat as she sang aloud, in heavily accented English, "We're no strangers to love~"

Subaru immediately sang back, in substantially better English, "You know the rules and so do I~"

They went back and forth singing the lyrics to each other for the duration of the whole song, briefly filling the eerily quiet halls with the sound of music. 

After the performance finished, he thought to himself, a mix of a frown and a smirk on his face, “How much did I fucking pay her to learn the entirety of Never Gonna Give You Up? Actually, better question, how the fuck am I supposed to get back at my alternate self for fucking Rick Rolling me across timelines?!”

The intensity in her tone returning to its usual levels, Elsa spoke plainly to the man before her, “Well, no one else in the world is capable of composing and singing such a strange melody but you employer-san. I will take my leave then.”

Elsa vanished into the shadows of the night, her eyes lingering on his form, while Subaru continued his walk through the hallway as if nothing had happened. He most certainly did not have a song stuck in his head. That would be crazy. The Sin Archbishop of Pride does not get songs stuck in his head.

Some time later, Subaru came across a door slightly ajar a bit further down the hall. Curious, he entered. Inside, he saw a clean but largely unused room. The only things differentiating it from the other identical ones throughout the mansion were the chair beside the bed and the bed's occupant.

Noting these things, he thought to himself, “This room is too clean and orderly to be someone's living quarters. That chair also seems like it hasn't been moved in ages. This girl's been here for awhile.”

He closed the door behind himself and moved to sit in the chair. He looked up to see a girl dressed in a blue nightgown. She had matching azure hair and appeared to be in a rather deep sleep. She was quite pretty and, besides her larger breasts and different color scheme, was a mirror image of the pink maid he had seen earlier at Roswaal’s side. “Comatose chicks aren't my type though.”

“She's clearly alive but she is not breathing nor does she have a heartbeat,” he noted aloud.

“I've only heard descriptions of this condition before but I never got to see it up close. I killed the Gluttonies before I really had the chance to.”

“So she's a Sleeping Beauty, then. And an important one at that,” he concluded, staring down at - and totally not ogling - the rather pretty girl before a frown came to his face and he thought, “Wait, is this the girl Emilia was talking about earlier? Natsuki Subaru, how the hell did you fall in love with a fucking potato? And worse, you managed to make Emilia jealous of said potato.”

“I swear if I ever meet you, other me, I'm going to beat the shit out of you for getting Emilia to cut her hair because you loved a damn vegetable too much,” he declared, definitely not still salty over the Rick Roll.

Subaru got up out of the chair to exit the room. As he opened the door and stepped back out into the hall, he saw another familiar face standing before him.

The pink haired maid, slightly surprised to see him, quickly remarked, bowing slightly, “Ah, Subaru-sama. I apologize for disturbing your time with Rem. I can return another time.”

Deeping her bow for a moment, she then brought herself up fully and began to turn to leave when Subaru quickly stopped her by placing a hand on her shoulder and saying, “Hey, it's alright. I just finished up. Go take your turn. You're her sister after all.”

Moderately surprised at the action, she glanced down at his hand for a moment before meeting his eyes again and replying in a neutral tone, “As you wish, Subaru-sama.”

She bowed again and entered the room, closing the door behind her.

“I wonder what her name is.”

Finally arriving back where he started earlier that afternoon, Subaru entered his room and breathed a sigh of relief as he closed the door.

“Thank God there's no more fucking surprises today. What has my life become? Can't a man be a mass murdering lunatic in peace?” he grumbled to himself, walking further into the room.

On his way, he stripped himself of his incredibly tacky and mildly uncomfortable noble's clothes and plopped himself down on the formerly unused bed. He stared at the ceiling as he thought aloud, “There's one big question I've been avoiding this whole time. Well, besides the Emilia situation. And that's: Why am I here? Like, who brought me to this weird bizarro timeline and why? I originally thought it could be Reinhard but he seems to have been affected by the switcheroo along with everyone else.”

He heaved a tired sigh and turned to lay on his side, “It's not the archbishops, it's not the Dragon, it's not the Sword Saint, and it's probably not the Sage.”

He focused his attention on the black crystal beside him, “The Witch of Envy, then.”

He closed his eyes, muttering, “That would explain the easy interference with Return by Death. I always thought it was her Authority.”

Rubbing them lightly, he continued, “And those two cryptic dreams I had - the one before I got here and the one I had during that angelic lap pillow session - starred her as well.”

Even with his substantial nap, he felt a strong sense of fatigue after a long day of burning down the capital, having a child die in his arms, being killed by his beloved, getting isekai'd for the second time, being incredibly confused while dying several more times, and grappling with his new situation and emotional state. And, on top of all that, his ribs were still broken.

“Fuck. I forgot to get myself healed. Well, what harm can a few broken bones even do?”

He fell onto his back and spread his arms out to either side on the massive bed, just so happening to grab the black crystal with this motion.

After a moment, he opened his eyes to find himself standing in the grassy, hilly plain of Echidna's Castle of Dreams, completely naked.

He looked up, still tired, to see the Witch of Greed sitting in her chair with her head turned away from him. Annoyed, he called out to her, “Oi! Witch! Why're you not looking at me?”

Still turned away, she responded with as loud a voice she could muster without yelling, “Certainly even you understand that seeing a man in the state of undress you are in would have an effect on my maidenly heart.”

Subaru rubbed his eyes, smirked, walked up to the table hidden under the parasol, and sat in the chair opposite of Echidna, who had covered her eyes with her hands. She was visibly blushing, hard.

“I don't buy for a second that this affects you at all. If you really shared his every sensation, and if he's anything at all like me, then you'd be very used to not only a naked Natuski Subaru but also a naked Natsuki Subaru's junk,” he declared, confident and not even a little flustered.

She peeked out through the gaps between her fingers and responded, “I'll have you know that my contractor always took the pendant off whenever he needed to conduct his… activities.”

The smirk remained on his face, “I'm still not buying it. You can see everything we did even without our touching of the crystal.”

She sighed and her blush largely faded as she lowered her hands and turned her head to look at him. Her usual smile was plastered onto her face as she spoke to him calmly, still ever-so-slightly red, “You're no fun. And even if you're mostly right, I am not lying when I say that your state of undress is making me feel things I haven't felt in centuries.”

“Like the urge to tease someone while they're naked?” he shot back, smirking. 

“I'm not going to believe you're human for a second, Witch.”

“Interpret it however you'd like,” she replied, taking a sip of her tea and waiting for Subaru to continue the dialogue.

After a moment, his smirk faded and he spoke again, his voice stern, “I ask you again. Echidna, the Witch of Greed, I demand that you tell me immediately how I can break our contract, that I have no memory of forging with you.”

Chapter Text

A gentle breeze rolled through the field of endless green. The calm of the weather and tone of the following conversation contrasted heavily with the intention and meaning behind their words. The Witch of Greed and the Sin Archbishop of Pride were calm and casual as they talked about the severing of a millennia old contact.

“As I've said, I will tell you if you fulfill some requirements,” she answered, her tone unusually flat and pointed, something that would put any normal man on edge.

“Have I fulfilled your first requirement?” he asked sternly, unphased by her intensity. He had had to deal with the twisted personalities of the other archbishops for centuries in the various loops of his own world so one Greedy Witch was par for the course at this point.

“Yes, your assumption is correct,” she calmly replied, her gaze unwavering.

Subaru leaned forward in his chair, placing his elbows on the table and resting his head in his hands. He narrowed his eyes, thinking, “I’ve out-argued Regulus before. This woman will be a piece of cake in comparison, really,” After a moment, he said, “Is that a response to my question regarding the requirements that I just made or to an earlier question?”

She put down her tea cup and stared at him with renewed intensity, her smile eerily widening as she responded, “I truly do wonder, Natsuki Subaru… How is it that you're so sharp? What made you this way? I would love to know your story.”

“Greedy Bitch,” he thought, disgusted by her inhuman nature.

He lifted his head up and smiled at her, saying, “Too bad Bitch of Greed, I've got shit to do and places to be. Neither of those things involve you.”

She closed her eyes, her usual smile fixed on her face, as she continued, “I was offended that you thought it but I am impressed you actually said it.”

She opened them again to reveal, for just a second, an intense need - an intense Greed. Had it lingered, it would have unnerved even him. And worse, that desire lined every one of her following words, “You really are something special, Natsuki Subaru.”

He readily dismissed all the cryptic nonsense that surrounded the woman. He had dealt with the most twisted personalities this world had to offer and he'd learned it was best not to think about the inner workings of their souls. All he felt he needed was a basic understanding, something sufficient for dealing with her, even if it was non-optimal. 

Sick of her shit, he said, “I'm getting real tired of your mind games, Witch. Answer my question or do I need to ask it in full every time?” 

“My name isn't Phoenix Fucking Wright. Talking in loopholes doesn't suit me even if I’m good at it,” he added, in his own thoughts.

She sighed, leaned back in her chair, relaxing her plastered-on smile ever so slightly, and said, “I guess nothing more can be gained from antagonizing you. That would have likely worked on any other impatient, rash Natsuki Subaru. But you're different.”

She stared at him with unusually intense eyes, as if she were searching for something. They reminded him of Roswaal's from earlier in the loop but a thousand times more powerful. “A thousand clowns is… well, terrifying actually, but they're still just clowns. What're they gonna do? All exit a single really small car at me?”

“Yes, yes. I'm insane and prideful. We're both well aware,” he responded dismissively, waving his hand at her, “Now less flattery and mind games, more answers and contract breaking.”

She gave him a seemingly genuine pout and said, “I may, how do you say it, sound like a broken record here but you're really no fun.”

In response, he simply yawned at her. It was a rather odd, extended yawn. Unnaturally intense, even. After he finally shut his mouth, he felt his eyes growing heavy.

“You know, it's quite rude to be falling asleep in the middle of a conversation,” Echidna said, her expression returning to its usual creepy smile.

“Fuck, I'm tired. Wait a sec. She was stalling, wasn't she? Why am I so sleepy? This didn't happen last time.”

He frantically looked around, fatigue rapidly weighing him down. After a moment he noticed the change and questioned the Witch, “The yawn tea. It has something to do with yaaaawn keeping me here doesn't it?”

She gave her standard smile to him, saying, “Yes and No. But all will be answered in time.”

The table vanished along with the parasol and her chair. She stood over him and held a hand at his chest.

“That's not concerning at all.”

She gazed down at his crotch and then back at his face.

“I thought it would be bigger,” she teased, a very light flush on her face.

“I'm a grower,” he shot back, not missing a beat despite his exhaustion.

The rolling green fields began to dissipate and the world started to fill with naught but the void.

“Where was all this quick wit when we were committed partners? You're making my maidenly heart tremble, you know,” she complained, seemingly partially genuine - even if largely teasing - in her annoyance.

“Yaaaaawwwnn.”

And with that, Subaru's chair disappeared and Echidna gave him a light shove as he fell backwards into the portal growing behind him. 

Quickly exiting the tea party, he swiftly yelled out, “You better not do this shit again or I'll break the da-”

And like that, Echidna was once again alone in her Castle of Dreams.

It may have been the lighting, or lack thereof, but one might have been able to see a slight blush on her face in the moments after Subaru left.

Subaru opened his eyes to his moonlit room. He let go of the crystal, shoving it off the bed while thinking to himself, “If it breaks it breaks. I'm too damn sleepy to care.”

He crawled his way under the sheets of the bed and closed his eyes, falling into a proper sleep for the first time in many thousands of deaths.

The darkness returned to him. Or rather, he returned to the darkness. The boundless void stretched in every direction endlessly. Yet, it was somehow… different. He felt odd to say the least.

“I feel more present this time. And I can actually think thoughts now in this dream world. Is this what an acid trip feels like?”

The darkness rippled and shifted. It molded from a large expanse into a flat plain upon which something other than the darkness stood proudly.

“Keeping me locked away for so long… Do you lack any basic human decency? You're violating my right to speak my mind! Let alone my right to be with my wives, that you ripped away!” said an average looking man, annoyed and scowling, the white of his outfit contrasting oddly with the shadows he stood upon.

“Ahhh you, who is so loved, who is so blessed, how can one so loved and so blessed be sO SLOTHFUL! My brain trembles at the thought… DESU!” said a sickly green-skinned man beside the other figure as he scraped away at the flesh lining his head, pulling out numerous stray hairs in the process.

“Aren't these fuckers supposed to be dead? These are literally the only two that died in this world. I'm very confused.”

“Staying silent, huh? Refusing to even show your face, huh? That's a breach of common etiquette! Of common decency! Of common rights! You're so selfish. You, who thinks you're more important than a truly satisfied existence like myself,” declared the first figure, seemingly losing more and more of his composure with each passing second.

“You were never a follower of love, could never be a follower of love, could never dream to be a follower of love and yet yet yet yet yet yET YET YET YET YET YET YOU ARE SO LOVED!” screamed the second man, blood now gushing out of the sides of his head and his eyes nearly popping out of their sockets.

“Now I'm more annoyed than confused. I can't even close my eyes or cover my ears to- Where are my eyes? Where are my ears? Where is my body?!” Subaru thought, only now noticing his lack of physical form.

A third figure emerged from the shadows as the other two were absorbed by them once more. She was different from the previous two in not only the strength of her presence but also in her attitude towards Subaru.

“I love you,” she said, her tone utterly and completely sincere.

“I'd glare at you if I had eyes to glare with,” he thought, largely unphased by his lack of body.

“I love you,” she declared again, her voice raising and echoing through the expanse. 

“This better not become a nightly thing,” he thought, trying and failing to mutter to himself.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” she repeated, rapidly approaching where Subaru felt he was.

“I'd sigh if I were physically capable.”  

She repeated those words over and over as Subaru's mind started to fog. His focus and attention wavered.

“A-am I falling asleep in a dream? I should've watched Inception more than once.”

“-ubaru-sama! Subaru-sama! Wake up!” called out the voice of an impatient young girl, annoying him greatly.

His eyes still closed, he rolled onto his side and grumbled, "Five more minutes…"

“Come on, sleepyhead! You already slept in! You even missed breakfast!” she continued, growing even louder than before.

In response, he simply kept his eyes shut and ignored the voice, hoping that it’ll just go away.

“Jeez… I didn't want to have to do this but you leave me no choice,” she said, almost to herself before acting. 

Suddenly, Subaru felt the sheets covering his body rip away from him. He would have been incredibly angry at the snatching away of the comforting warmth had his annoyance not been redirected towards the incredibly loud, high pitched scream that followed the action.

“KYAAAAA!”

“WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING!” he yelled back, his eyes snapping open at the sound as he leveled a glare at the feminine alarm clock before him. He saw that she was blushing beet red and her hands were covering her face. Although, that did not stop her from peaking through the gaps between her fingers.

He looked down to see what she was staring at and noticed he was, in fact, still naked.

“Huh,” he said to himself, processing the situation.

He looked back up at the red faced maid who's eyes had shifted down his body.

“Okay, nope. Not doing this, kid,” he continued, having decided on a course of action.

He quickly jumped from the bed, snatched the sheets from her and covered his lower half with them. She was still blushing furiously.

“Petra, how old are you now?” he asked before thinking, “I can excuse borderline genocide but I draw the line at pedophilia.”

“I-I'm-” she started before being swiftly interrupted.

“Actually, don't answer that. I can already tell I'd be arrested with a single look at you,” he stated while suppressing the lingering reasonable thought of “You can excuse genocide?!?!” as well as he could.

All of a sudden, the door behind them slammed open and the pink-haired maid stood in the doorway with a concerned look. She glanced around the room, processed the situation in less than a second, and then glared at Subaru.

Jumping to his own defense, he quickly spoke out to her, “First of all, you're supposed to yell ‘FBI OPEN UP!’ when you do that. And second, I know what it looks like but I'll have you know that I was sleeping naked and Petra rudely ripped off my sheets.”

She maintained her glare as Petra interjected, "I-it's true Ram-neesama. He was sleeping for a long time s-so I ripped his sheets off a-and..."

She began to mutter to herself as the blush strengthened on her face, seemingly recalling what she saw. Ram's glare at him sharpened as she responded to the almost naked man, “I am sorry for the commotion, Subaru-sama.”

Ram walked towards Petra and whispered rather loudly in her ear, "If Barusu acted like a vile beast towards you like the trash that he is, then you don't have to lie about it. You can always tell Ram after we leave the room."

“You know I can hear you right?!”

Ram courteously bowed and pulled Petra down along with her, saying, “Again, I apologize for the commotion Subaru-sama. We will take our leave now. Lunch will be in about an hour's time.”

With that, the pink haired maid and the orange maid with the reddened face left the room.

“Ram, huh? All I need to find now is a Rim and a Rum. ‘Gotta catch 'em all’ after all.”

Chapter Text

Subaru stood alone in his room, completely naked. Behind him, the window let in no direct beams of light, serving as a reminder that it was sometime around midday. He pondered aloud, “So, I've got about an hour to myself. First order of business is clothes.”

He turned to look at the various articles of clothing he left littering the ground late last night, trying to ignore the mess along with the equally visually disturbing bedsheet tossed down beside them. He mumbled to himself, “I'm not wearing that shit again.”

Approaching the nearby dresser that took up an unreasonable amount of the room’s wall-space, he wondered, “Did the other me keep his tracksuit?”

Sliding the door open, Subaru gazed at the variety of clothes all neatly hung up in a row. They ranged wildly in style and color but were all seemingly high quality and hand-crafted. They were all the garb of the nobility and any man would be proud to sport such fine apparel.

“You've got shit taste, Natsuki Subaru,” he declared to the seemingly amazing line-up, scowling, “How is the blood supposed to wash out of any of these?”

Not seeing any desirable clothing in the entirety of the dresser, he turned and walked towards the side of the bed, eyeing the pendant he left lying on the ground.

Grabbing the black crystal off its place on the floor, he asked with a frown on his face, "Hey, Witch. Where's my tracksuit?"

“I'm surprised you came to me of your own free will like this. Are you finally warming up to me?” teased Echidna in her usual attempt at a flirtatious tone.

“Answer the question or I'll break the damn crystal,” Subaru spat, uncomfortable and fed up with her voice in his head. 

“I wonder if there's another way to say ‘you're no fun’,” Echidna said, irritating her contractor even more.

In response, Subaru lifted his arm and prepared to throw the damn necklace against the ground and finally be done with the Witch but was interrupted mid-arc by the return of her voice. Still calm but lacking her teasing intonation, Echidna said, “Subaru left it in the library quite some time ago.”

“Why the library of all places?” he asked, immediately halting his throwing motion.

“He said it was to ‘Classically Condition himself to associate it with his mistakes’,” she explained, sounding excited as she repeated the foreign phrase. To this, Subaru did not reply and gracelessly allowed the crystal to drop back onto the ground, wondering, “Fucking weirdo. Who thinks to Pavlov themselves?”

Turning his back on the pendant and returning to the dresser, he searched through the line-up of clothes for a few seconds before picking out the least tacky outfit he could and hastily putting it on.

“This still looks like shit,” he thought to himself as he gazed up and down at his reflection in the mirror. 

Subaru, having decided that all the outfits prepared were inadequate, had taken a random assortment of various garments and put them on haphazardly, the only unifying factor between them being a common orange hue that was sorely lacking from the otherwise colorful selection. As a result, if any normal person were to see him now, they would surely call him a walking fashion disaster.

However, Subaru, being the embodiment of stubbornness and Pride, didn’t see it that way. Instead, he merely grumbled to himself about his other self's choice in apparel as he set out to find his true clothes, visibly uncomfortable in the hodgepodge of an outfit he’d assembled for himself.

Subaru walked through the quiet, empty halls as a strange sinking feeling took hold of him. The gait of his walking was rigid and uneven as he lost himself in thought, “So, Envy brought me here: Question answered. I'll break my contract with Echidna at the next Tea Party: Solution found. There's a lot of unknown specifics between those two issues but now I've got to deal with the mental elephant in the imaginary room.”

He took a deep breath and heaved a large sigh, “Emilia. What do I do about her? All my subsequent actions beyond just gathering information depend on that.”

A cold anxious feeling crept up on him as his mind began to take account of his list of desires and needs, “I promised to save her and to make her King. But now… I- I want-”

He slapped his own face as hard as he could, relishing in the pain, “I can not think that. I can't think for a second that anything's changed. If I lose my one goal, my one conviction, then I'm… I'd be nothing.”

He scowled deeply with a look of utter hatred, a look intended for himself, as he shouted, “SO WHY? WHY DO I WANT MORE?! WHY DO I WANT CHANGE?!”

He glanced up and searched desperately for something, anything else to occupy his mind. He couldn't let the gears turn. He couldn't let the conclusions be made, “Clothes. I need to find my tracksuit. I need to find the library. Focus Subaru, focus.”

His walk turned into a jog and his jog into a run as he sprinted through the halls frantically looking for the library like his life depended on it. After a full minute, he spotted it in a far off section of the mansion. Immediately, he ran inside and shut the door behind him.

Panting heavily, he said to himself, “Library Hah… Hah… found. Next Objective: Tracksuit.”

He looked up to see he wasn't alone. There was a little girl in a pink and red dress sitting with her head in her hands on a step ladder. She had creamy blonde hair that formed drill-like pigtails on either side of her head. Frankly, if he wasn't a moment away from having a mental breakdown, he'd find her adorable.

“Well this is as good a distraction as any, I guess.”

He walked up to her, stopping about a meter away. He noticed her fingers were white from the strength of the grip she had on her own head.

“Hey, kid. Kid. Hey kid!” Subaru called out, trying to get the girl’s attention.

She didn't respond or even stir.

“Kid! HEY, KID! KID, LOOK AT ME!” Subaru continued, quickly turning his gentle calls into a scream.

“Just leave me the hell alone, I suppose,” responded the girl, her voice shaky, raspy, and full of hatred. 

Used to this attitude being directed towards him, Subaru remained undeterred and lowered his voice as he replied, “Maybe I will if you give me your attention for a bit.”

“Shut the hell up, in fact,” spat the girl, her head still held in her hands.

“Well, that's rude. Kid, what's wrong with you?” Subaru asked, noticing that, though she remained silent, her grip clearly tightened.

“You know, your resistance is only strengthening my desire to figure out what the fuck's wrong with you,” he added, moving closer to the girl.

Suddenly, she snapped her head up and glared at him. Her butterfly-filled eyes stared at him with utter contempt and were laced with tears as she shouted, “You're what's wrong with me, I suppose! You forced me to break my promise with Mother, in fact!”

He smirked and crossed his arms, leaning back slightly. However, it was clear he was trembling, even through the awful outfit he had on. Despite this, he managed to still reply to her in a relatively calm voice, “Well I've changed a lot since yesterday afternoon, I suppose. I've changed to the point where I'm quite literally an entirely different person, in fact. ”

“What's that even supposed to mean?!” she asked, equal parts confused and aggravated.

His smirk faded and he looked down at her with frustration in his eyes, his calm demeanor vanishing and the thoughts he'd been wanting to distract from returning to him. He began to rant at the little girl, “It means that I'm not your Natsuki Subaru, kid! I don't even know any of the people in this godforsaken mansion! And all the ones I do know are totally different from how I knew them to be!”

She attempted to shout back but he talked over her, “That clown isn't trustworthy! Reinhard's a massive dick, as usual! Perfect annoying asshole.”

His voice raised even higher as he continued, “Emilia's in love with a Subaru who I'm impersonating! I don't know any of the maids and I don't know you! What's your name? Fuck if I know! It might as well be Susan B Anthony as far as I'm concerned!”

She sat there shocked at his outburst as he yelled even louder, his voice trembling, “I just… I need someone on my side right now! The one thing in my life I was sure of, the one fucking thing that kept me together was snatched away from me. And now I'm on the verge of falling apart!”

“Do you have any idea how that feels, kid?! DO YOU?!” he shouted, his face having become red with rage and his question to the girl before him almost an afterthought to his rant.

She responded to him with a lower voice, also trembling, “Betty knows, I suppose. Betty knows exactly how that feels, in fact. Betty had her purpose ripped away from her as well. And now... Betty just wants to die.”

They both stayed there for a moment, shaking under the weight of years of suppressed emotion being let out, the only noise in the room being the sounds of their mutually ragged breathing.

The girl saw a kindred spirit facing the very same dilemma she has lived through for years now. It turned her hatred into sadness. 

The boy saw what he could become should he lose his sense of purpose, direction, and meaning. He forced himself to think about literally anything else. 

As a result, Subaru was the first to break the silence, saying, “Fuck, kid. Fuck. Well, at least you don't have a greedy witch breathing down your neck, trying to manipulate you every night.”

She looked up and into his eyes, tears forming, “Did you say a greedy witch, in fact?”

Still caught up in his own thoughts, he did not notice her reaction and explained as honestly as he could, “Huh? Yeah, the Bitch of Greed herself is contracted to yours truly. God knows why your Subaru thought it was a good idea to take Echidna's hand. Fucking idiot.”

Her voice shook with a betrayed fury, masking the pity she had been developing for the boy, “Y-you're contracted with Mother? Why did you never tell me?!”

Subaru sighed and looked down at her with understanding eyes, “Kid, you're asking the wrong guy. I want nothing more than to break this godforsaken contract and be done with her. Your Subaru was a fool and made countless mistakes.”

His voice started to break as he continued, “And... I don't even know if I'm any better anymore.”

There was another moment of silence that was filled in Subaru’s mind by his own thinking.

“I- Was it all worth it? Was it all justified? Were all my crimes truly for the greater good? For her? Or… Were they…”

He couldn't stop himself from completing the thought.

“… for me? For my Pride? For my Satisfaction? And never for her sake?”

Tears began to stream down his face as he felt something he considered foreign to himself.

“When was the last time I felt this? Elsa's death? Meili's death? Blue? The man who could've been my friend? The Spirit Knight? Plummy? No. None of their sacrifices made me feel this way. None of them made me feel this… this…”

He fell to his knees and scratched at his arms.

“Regret.”

He scratched harder, tearing through the thin fabric that covered them.

“Regret. Guilt. Sorrow. Remorse. The payment of my sins. The cost of my Pride. The consequences of my own rotten character.”

His arms started to bleed as he tore past his shirt and into his own flesh. His hands mechanically glided his fingers up and down, soaking them and dying the once white shirt red, only the orange trim remaining consistent.

He began to mutter to himself, his thoughts growing too heavy to remain contained in his own mind, “All that I've done. All that I've worked for. It was all worthless wasn't it? I'm worthless aren't I? I might as well just die-”

Suddenly, he felt a hard slap across his face, prompting him to cease his motion. He turned to see that the little girl held a shoe in her hand, glaring at him. She screamed at him with a renewed fury, “AND WHAT NOW, I SUPPOSE?! WHAT WAS ALL OF IT FOR, IN FACT?!”

Her tears flowed freely as she continued yelling, her voice only slightly calmer, “You may not remember it but you took everything from me, in fact! I cursed your name for what you did to me, I suppose! And yet…”

Her voice broke and the tears began to overwhelm her, “And yet you still had hope in my… my future, in fact.”

Subaru's eyes widened as he considered her words, “Hope despite mistakes? Fulfillment despite sins?”

“How? Why?” he asked, desperate for the answer, clenching his hands and digging his nails back into the skin on his arms.

“I don't… Betty doesn't know, I suppose,” she replied, calming herself slightly.

Controlling her voice as best as she could, she continued after a moment of tense silence, “You… He said this to me once: ‘I'll be like this no matter how many times you vent your anger at me, it's fine. Even if the flames of regret don't seem like they're vanishing right now, if you keep pouring them out maybe they'll vanish someday.’”

Subaru couldn't take it anymore. He released his grip on himself and allowed his arms to fall to his side. A torrent of tears and drops of blood fell to the floor alike. How could words from a him that was so unlike him ring so true? 

But it was her next words that struck even closer to home, “‘I'm so glad that you're alive. So, I'll always look forward to the day where you'll once again get sulky in front of me.’”

He lifted himself up and approached her as she finished her last quoted line, “‘――Because that hope still lives in me.’”

He brought the little girl into a tight embrace, his arms bleeding and feeling like jelly, his ribs still broken, and his sins weighing on his mind. She did not resist his motion.

“Hope? How cliche. How fitting. How true.”

She returned his hug, crying along with him.

“I agree, I suppose.”

Chapter Text

They stayed there for a time, warm in each other's embrace. Neither of them wanted to let go. Neither of them wanted to relinquish the warmth they now felt. And so, still hugging, their conversation continued after many long minutes of sobbing.

“C-can you let me see Mother, I suppose?” Beatrice asked, her voice quiet as a whisper but clear and crisp in the silent library.

Subaru felt her jerk back ever-so-slightly when he took a breath to answer. A frown grew on his face in response as he thought, “That repulsive woman really would be the worst parent, huh?”

He - whether intentional or not - lowered his own voice and softened his tone as he replied, “I don't know if that's the best idea, kid. She'll try to manipulate you. She's an inhuman monster and she'll crush your heart just to see what happens.”

“It’s probably what ended up happening to the other me, after all…” he added, in his thoughts.

“E-even if you exaggerate, Betty understands Mother is not fully pure-hearted, I suppose,” Beatrice said, her body and voice alike shaking in his embrace. “It is impossible to deny that, in fact.” 

“And you still wish to see her?” he asked, simultaneously exasperated and impressed by the determination it must have taken to overcome this debilitating level of anxiety.

“I do, in fact,” she answered, her voice as confident and strong as she could manage.

Subaru heaved a heavy sigh, wrapping his arms further around her as he exhaled. At the close of this motion, he thought to himself, scowling out of frustration, “Maybe some confrontation and closure would help her? Would it help me if I was like this?”

After his moment of silent pondering, Subaru declared, “I have three conditions.”

Her grip on the back of his shirt tightened and her breath hitched at the sudden, conviction-laced words he’d used. “And what might they be, I suppose?” Beatrice replied, trying her best to suppress the desperation and child-like excitement in her voice.

“First, I'm not fully aware of the mechanics around the contract. So you can't blame me if an audience with her is just straight up impossible,” he said, idly playing with the pinked tip of her drill-like hair.

“Fine, I suppose,” she said after not much thought, more concerned over his following demands.

“Second, I will be present for the meeting and reserve the right to end it at any time,” he continued, still using his stern tone before adding in an additional mumbled remark, “I won't just watch silently as you dance in the palm of her hand.”

She frowned slightly and remained silent for a moment before finally conceding, “I don't like it but I accept, I suppose.”

“And third…” he said, more determined and serious than with either of his previous conditions. 

Her body tensed as she prepared for what she assumed would be the most unreasonable request. She gripped him tighter as he finished, “Help me find my tracksuit.”

Confused, she pushed herself off him lightly and regarded him with an odd look. He returned it with an offended Regulus-esque scowl, “What? Don't tell me the tracksuit is a fucking dealbreaker.”

She fought down the urge to giggle for a moment before succumbing to it and entering a strange laughing fit in response to his request. She laughed and laughed until she began to cry. And then, she cried and cried before laughing some more. All the while, Subaru joined her, the combined sounds of their childish giggling and unapologetically evil cackling resonating together and echoing out into the empty, silent library.

“You really are a hopeless man, I suppose.” 

They walked through the hall towards Subaru's room, side by side.

The little girl was visibly tense, anxiety filling her mind as she silently trodded along beside the boy. Not only was it the first time she had left the library in two years but she would see her mother again for the first time in four hundred years. “Betty hopes that he is wrong, I suppose. Betty hopes that Mother truly cares for her, in fact. Betty doesn't know what she'll do if he's right…”

The young madman was incredibly relaxed. The catharsis of having cried until he laughed and laughed until he cried combined with the familiar feeling of his Earth clothes put his mind at ease. A slightly crazed smile was on his face as he reminisced over his various killing sprees. “I'm excited to see Capella again. I never got the chance to properly torture her before.”

He glanced over to see the absolute state the little girl by his side was in. Sure, an anxious, chaotic headspace is better than a depressed, unchanging one but Subaru knew she was bound to fall apart if he didn’t at least try to help.

“Hey, Betty,” he said, trying, but ultimately failing, to make saying her name sound natural.

She tensed further at his sudden call, her next step faltering. She was on a direct path to the ground when she muttered something and seemingly magically regained her footing. After a short moment, she looked at him with impatient eyes and asked, “What, I suppose?”

Pretending like that didn’t just happen, Subaru replied, “You call yourself Betty but what's your full name? Where are you from?”

She narrowed her eyes for a moment before turning away from him and answering, “Betty's name is Beatrice, I suppose. The people of this mansion call me a great spirit but Betty is an artificial spirit created by Mother, in fact.”

Subaru nodded agreeably and stated, “Ah, you're a test tube baby. Got it.”

She immediately turned back to look at him again and, annoyed, she shouted out, “And what does that mean, in fact?!”

He glanced over at her and waved off her complaints, suppressing his urge to smile at how their banter had already done wonders for her mood.

“Don't worry about it. It's nothing important…” he said, trailing off.

He placed a hand on his chin and began to think aloud, “Beatrice… Beatorisu… Bea… Beako! There we go, that's a good nickname.”

He turned to gauge her response, the evidence of a smirk breaking through his suppression of his satisfaction. He was not, however, expecting to see a slightly sad, shocked face.

“Ah,” he said, the joy quickly draining from his own mood. “I guess it's the same one your Natsuki Subaru gave you, then?”

She shook off the shock, turned to face forward, and muttered to herself, “It's fine, I suppose.”

A second later, he continued, “And Beako?”

“What, in fact?” she replied, substantially less aggravated than last time.

“I'm giving you a surprise fourth condition. Can you promise to do me a favor after the meeting is over?” he asked in a rather lighthearted tone.

Sighing, she answered him with a conceding, “Fine, I suppose.”

They walked into Subaru's bedroom, silent. His noble's clothes from last night and the sheets from the bed lay scattered on the floor; the futon on the couch was still untidied as well.

“This place is a mess, I suppose,” Beatrice observed, slightly put-off by the uncharacteristically disordered room.

Subaru smirked and threw the noble's clothes he had been holding since the library onto the ground, saying, “The more the merrier.”

Beatrice shot him a judgmental look as she noted to herself that she ought to adjust her expectations relating to Subaru going forward. Eyeing the odd combination of clothes he had worn before changing, she thought, “He truly is not the same man as before, I suppose.”

As he walked over to the side of his bed, she turned her sights to him and frowned, thinking, “But he can not be That Person either, in fact. Betty has already betrayed Mother, I suppose.”  

While Beatrice began to follow her thoughts into yet another downward depressing spiral, Subaru picked up the black crystal off of the floor and said, “Witch, you know what I want to do. Can I do it while still being able to fulfill my second condition?”

Not missing a beat, Echidna replied in her usual tone, “You can, in fact, invite Beatrice to our Tea Party for a short time. Both of you need to hold the pendent simultaneously to do this. Since you're the one inviting her, you're the one with the power to uninvite her. However, you can not speak to her about Return by Death unless you want her to die.”

“Got it. I also demand to leave at the same time as she does if I kick her out,” he said, immediately closing the obvious loop hole she had tried to dance around.

He could almost hear her suppressing a smile as she replied, “Fine, fine. By the way, do you think ‘You're such a bore’ is a fine substitute for ‘You're no fun’?”

He ignored her and turned to Beatrice, who was glancing at him with nervous eyes. He walked up to the spirit girl, holding out the necklace in the palm of his right hand and saying, “Beako, if you want to see her you'll have to grab onto this crystal at the same time as me. Are you ready?”

Her eyes flicking between the crystal and Subaru, she slowly replied, “Betty is nervous… but Betty will try to stay strong.”

Beatrice cautiously reached out her right hand to grasp his, pressing the ominous black jewel so reminiscent of her mother between their palms. Together, they held the pendant, their souls aligning with its rhythm. And, after a moment, they opened their eyes to the green rolling fields of Echidna's Castle of Dreams.

The ancient artificial spirit beside Subaru gazed up at the only distinguishing landmark in the environment... and the Witch who sat there gazed back.

“Hello, Beatrice,” Echidna said, both her face and tone neutral.

With just two words, the nobility and pride of the centuries old force of nature known as Beatrice blew away to reveal a nervous young girl face to face with her mother for what felt like the first time.

She instinctively grasped Subaru's arm and hid behind it, muttering to herself, “B-betty is not ready, I suppose. Betty can't see Mother like this, in fact.”

Hearing this, Subaru reached down and picked up the cowering spirit girl, holding her in his arms and close to his chest. She was as light as a feather and barely put up any resistance as she stammered out, a slight blush growing on her face, “W-w-what are you doing, I suppose?!”

With a confident smile, he replied, “You're never gonna get anywhere cowering behind me like that Beako,” Noticing her continued annoyance and doubt, he continued, his tone slightly more stern than before, “I promised not to let her manipulate you, remember? Frankly, you're making it too easy for her.”

Beatrice was going to object but then pouted instead, saying, “Just because you're right doesn't mean you should say it, I suppose…”

He poked her puffed up cheek and began to walk up the hillock. The girl was going out of her way to look anywhere but at her mother, forcing her to stare at Subaru.

“You know, we came all this way to talk to your mom but you've ended up just staring at me instead. Not that I mind of course, you're adorable Beako,” he said, teasing her to help cut through the stranglehold Beatrice’s anxiety held on her mind.

“If you're going to treat me like this then let me go, in fact!” she declared, squirming around in his arms for a second but not with any substantial amount of force.

“Sorry, sorry,” he said, not really meaning it.

They arrived at the top of the mound and stood under the shade of the parasol. He lowered his voice and said to the little girl in his grasp, “We're here Beako. Take as much time as you need. When you're ready, just turn your head.”

She gave him a slow, short nod and they remained in silence for a long moment. Both of the chairs opposite of their host remained empty and there was seemingly no intention on part of the guests to occupy them.

Subaru turned his attention to the Witch whilst he waited for Beako to prepare herself. Echidna was sitting there with a less than satisfied look. Her teacup was half-empty at this point and she seemed incredibly bored. Noticing Subaru's gaze, her lips curved into a smile.

“Even if we have all day for this, a tender young maiden such as myself doesn't like to sit alone at a table in silence. I feel like I'm being, how do you say it, ‘stood up’ as it were,” Echidna said, again sounding excited at being able to employ the use of yet another foreign phrase.

At the sound of her voice, Subaru felt Beatrice flinch and her grasp on him tighten. After a few seconds, she finally turned her head to look at Echidna. She seemed confused as she said, “Mother?”

Still neutral, Echidna answered her unspoken inquiry, “I will answer any and all of your questions so long as you don't acknowledge that which you are currently questioning.”

“The hell does that mean?” Subaru interjected, mostly to himself. He’d been able to gather a fairly comprehensive understanding of this particular family dynamic in his short time spent in the two non-humans’ company but this particular interaction was something he neither expected nor understood.

The spirit took a moment to think before saying, "I understand, I suppose."

“I guess I can ask her about it later. It better not be something important,” he thought to himself, restraining his urge to find out before the pair interacted.

“M-mother… who was That Person, I suppose? Why did you leave Betty's gospel blank, in fact? Betty is so, so sorry for breaking our promise but... why did you leave Betty alone all that time?” Beatrice said, her eyes finally meeting her mother’s as she asked her last question.

Echidna closed her eyes but maintained her smile as she replied, “Ah, I do wonder as well who That Person is.”

Subaru felt the grip on him loosen as the entirety of the girl's body went limp and she muttered, “Wh-what?”

“That Person was an experiment, you see. I was curious as to who you'd pick to bring you salvation,” Echidna explained, still neutral and uncaring in her tone. “Of course, choosing no one for four centuries was an option but it certainly was not your only one.” 

Subaru felt a wet feeling on his arm as tears began to fall from Beatrice’s face. She struggled to say, “N-no… that's not…” but was cut off as the Witch continued.

“As for the gospel, it was blank because you lacked a true goal. You simply wanted to be told what to do but the experiment was to test your self determination. So, I left it blank.”

Subaru could feel Beatrice trembling in his arms. “I don't like where this is going,” he thought, gritting his teeth at the exchange.

“I hold no ill will towards you for breaking our promise. I was the one who advised Natsuki Subaru to force you to break it, after all. Although, I have to say I am-”

“THAT'S ENOUGH!” shouted Subaru, interrupting the white haired woman right as she was about to finish her sentence.

The Witch opened her eyes and looked up at the young man, her plastered-on smile still firm on her face. He, on the other hand, was filled with rage as he spat at her, Echidna’s eerie calmness towards and borderline pride in her emotional abuse and manipulation of her daughter only serving to aggravate him more, “One hell of a mother you are!”

Subaru tightened his grasp on the young girl in his arms as she turned her head to sob into his chest, her body still limp and her mind still clearly in shock. His eyes never left Echidna's as he said, “Beako, I uninvite you from the Tea Party. As per your promise Witch , I will be leaving with her.”

The white haired woman sighed and gave a conceding wave, “Yes, yes you are free to go.”

A portal opened below them and they fell out of the Castle of Dreams. The Witch of Greed was alone once more.

“Ah, what a troublesome man you are... Well, at least this way, you're now guaranteed to satisfy me, Natsuki Subaru.”

Chapter Text

Subaru opened his eyes to see the interior of his newly messy room once more, subconsciously noting the untouched articles of clothing draped about the place along with an entire white bedsheet sprawled onto the ground. Despite their very glaringly disturbing nature to any even mildly cleanly person, none of these things were particularly noticed by him. His entire attention was consumed by the sight of Beatrice crumpling down to the floor, sobbing. 

He - a man who had lived for centuries and destroyed both the world’s greatest evils and greatest goods - was panicking as he desperately searched for a way to help the little girl before him and patch together her shattered heart.

“What do I do? What do I say to her?” he thought, scrambling onto one knee and bringing himself to her level.

“Betty is a failure, I suppose. Betty is a disappointment, in fact. Even Mother has said so now, I suppose,” Beatrice said, holding her head in her hands and gripping it even tighter than she had when Subaru first saw her.

“Beako that's…” he started, unsure where to even begin.

She snapped her head up and glared at him, interrupting him with shouts she forced through her tears, “Don't you dare say that's not true, I suppose! Don't you dare lie to Betty, in fact!”

He was at a loss for words. With the girl staring at him with all of her fury, he could only think one thing as he saw her already weak will to live begin to crumble away, “What could I even do in this situation? I'm a sin archbishop, not a fucking guidance counselor.”

Her next words were quiet and broken, said just as much to herself as to the man before her. Her gaze softened in a cruel, desperate, and pleading way as she asked, “C-can you kill me, I suppose?”

He looked down at her with a shocked, confused expression. A part of his mind immediately considered the request and devised a method of doing so but another part, a part used here several times but almost never in his old timeline, rejected the offer immediately. 

Beatrice continued after a moment of tense silence, grabbing ahold of his tracksuit jacket as she said, “Betty can not kill herself no matter how hard she tries, in fact. So please, kill me.”

At this point, Subaru had heard enemies beg for death. He had tortured and maimed people without a will to live just to see how to get a reaction out of them. But not once has he truly pulled someone out from under that hopelessness. “Not even Blue. Not even... myself.”

“I-” he started before quickly stopping. He had no words to give her, nothing he knew or learned in his entire time in this world could help him save her. And, with every passing moment, the lingering possibility of granting her wish of death grew and grew in his mind.

“Please… You understand, I suppose,” she said, looking at him with desperate and pleading eyes, “You're the only one… who understands Betty's pain, in fact. What it means to lose everything, I suppose,” she continued, a twisted hope filling the spirit as she finished, “So, please…”

At the end of his rope, he had nothing he could say. His trained strategist's mind was built to kill as efficiently as possible, not to save. To destroy, not to repair. So he instinctively reached for something different, something foreign. He reached for the foolish, greedy words of his other self that had clung to his heart like a hopeful parasite.

“Beako…” he said, his voice shaking yet determined as he began his response, “‘Even if the flames of regret don't seem like they're vanishing right now, if you keep pouring them out maybe they'll vanish someday.’”

Her desperate eyes shifted in tone. The desire for death mixed with something new: the need for salvation. No, that need was always there. It was merely hidden under years of despair.

“‘I'm so glad that you're alive. So, I'll always look forward to the day where you'll once again get sulky in front of me.’”

He kneeled down and stared deep into her eyes as he felt the spirit of those words flood through him. A determination shared between timelines. Between Natsuki Subarus.

“Even if it was just for a day, an hour, or even a minute, I saw a glimpse of that, Beako. I saw the you that Natsuki Subaru desperately wanted to save. And…”

He steeled his heart and put confidence in his voice as he declared, “That hope he held lives in me now.”

She narrowed her eyes at him, preparing to reject his hope as she had done many times before, but he continued, “Beako, if I didn't meet you today I don't know how I would've kept going. I'm a weak, powerless, spiteful man who burned down everything good in the world just to have a single second of grace. I've killed thousands upon thousands just to save a single life that neither wanted nor needed saving. My soul has become encumbered by a mountain of regrets and, even now, I feel like I should just let them crush me to dust. Beako, I'm literally insane and today... I feel like the world has gone just as crazy as I have. To make me feel regret after all that? This really is a bizarro world.”

“Why are you… saying this, in fact?” she asked, overwhelmed by his sudden speech yet feeling the weight of his words.

Subaru gave her a soft smile in response. It was one that understood her pain, their pain. It was one that shouldered responsibility and regret alike but, even if barely, it stayed together.

“Because I'm cashing in that favor you promised me, Beako. I need your help to stand. I need your voice to look forward. I need your hands to keep me together. What you did for me today, I need you to do everyday.”

He held out his own hand to her as he begged her from the bottom of his heart, “So, please, Choose me .”

Tears filled her eyes as she processed his pleading words but he gave her not even a second to think of a response as he continued, “Choose me over death, Beako. Choose me over your Mother. Choose me over That Person.”

A fire blazed in his eyes. It was not the evil flames of a burning capital but the determined flames of a man in need, the flames of a burning Forbidden Library.

“Choose me over your past and help me clear a path to our future!”

“That's not…”

“I need you… so, please, Choose Me.”

“That's not fair, to ask me like that, in fact.”

He gave a small chuck, saying, “Too bad, I play dirty.”

She took his hand and wrapped her arms around him. She sobbed her desperate tears. They were tears of long lost friends, of a lost family, of centuries of isolation, of a broken promise, of a betrayed creator, and, most of all, of a new hope.

“Subaru!”

“Beako…”

“Subaru! Subaru!”

“That's my name.”

“Subaru!”

“We're gonna kill so many people together.”

“You really are hopeless,”

Hidden in his shoulder, she gave a smile. She gave the first genuine smile in so, so long.

“Betty's Subaru…”

She wept, she smiled, and she fell asleep in her new contractor's arms with real hope in her heart.

“I never would have thought anyone could keep my madness from overtaking me, could get me to try finding a solution that didn’t involve murder,” he muttered to himself, softly gazing at her unconsious form.

He thought back to his times with Meili and his day with Plum. He gave a tired laugh as he continued, “I guess lolis are the key to restoring your humanity, huh? Well, part of your humanity. I still can't shake this need to torture Reinhard and the archbishops.”

Some time later, Natsuki Subaru stood alone in his now clean room. He had fixed up the sheets on the bed, tucked Beatrice in as she napped, and the floor was no longer littered with equally wrinkled and luxurious clothes.

Despite the cleanly appearance, Subaru had just sorta shoved the two pairs of clothes and slightly smelly futon into the dresser, likely wrinkling or even damaging all the other clothes stored there, while the sheets covering Beatrice were both upside down and the wrong way around.

“No one will notice. My handiwork was excellent,” he thought, pointedly ignoring the bulging dresser door.

“So I guess I can go find Emilia now-” he mused, contemplating what to do next, before hearing a knock and a voice like silver bells ringing, “Subaru! You missed breakfast and lunch! I'm reeeally worried! Are you okay?”

“Speak of the devil. Well, I guess in this case, speak of the angel,” he thought before clearing his throat and responding, “Come on in, Emilia! I'm just fine.”

At his call, she entered the room and gave him a confused look, “Subaru? You're wearing your old clothes again? I thought you said they were no good?”

A nervous sweat started to develop on him. He forced on a smile and replied, “Ah, really? Well, I guess I changed my mind.”

As Subaru spoke, turning to see the spirit girl lying in his bed, Emilia asked, “Beatrice? Why is she here?”

Faced with the spirit girl’s similar yet still very foreign problems, Subaru had managed to stay strong. He managed to hold her and himself together through the strange circumstance. But now, faced with the one person he both cares for and fears the most in the world questioning him, he was beginning to falter. He gradually lost strength in his voice as he explained, “Ah, that. Well, you see... it's a long story…”

The half-elf turned her eyes back to the tracksuit-clad man. She walked closer to him, raised a finger in admonition, and narrowed her eyes, saying, “No~ way~. You promised not to hide things from me, Subaru. You're reeeally no good at that sort of insipid behavior.”

He reflexively scratched the back of his head and gave a nervous chuckle, “No one says "insipid" anymore Emilia…”

He immediately tensed up and silently cursed himself for the mistake. At the use of her plain name, Emilia lowered her hand and further narrowed her eyes at Subaru. It was a look of confusion and concern reinforced with determination. She dropped all pretenses and cut straight to the heart of the problem, “You know Subaru, ever since yesterday you've been acting reeeally strange. What's wrong?”

His body broke out into a cold sweat. His breathing became heavier and he was incredibly on edge. He even thought the room temperature was lowering. “This is not going well.”

“E- it's nothing, really. Shouldn't we be going off to lunch now?” he suggested, making one last attempt at avoiding this sensitive subject.

The room became noticeably colder at his words. Her eyes filled with tinges of betrayal as she replied, “Subaru… are you breaking your promise? I thought I could trust you…”

“Fuck this is not good. There's no good option here. Distrust means death. Lying builds distrust. Deflecting builds distrust. And the truth? Well it's a longshot but…”

“Emilia… what if you won't like what I have to say?” he said, cautious with every word he uttered.

A tinge of relief and hope entered her as she relaxed slightly. Emilia gave him a rather lighthearted response, “I'm sure it'll all work out. You're my Subaru and you promised to keep me safe!”

“Well… here goes nothing.”

“The thing is… I'm not your Subaru…”

“Eh?”

Chapter Text

A shocked silence took a firm hold of Subaru's room, Emilia's reflexive sound of surprise lingering in his mind as he looked upon her slack-jawed face. All feelings of relief, concern, and sadness were tossed aside and replaced with utter confusion. It was clear that she was at a loss for words.

Thinking quickly, the half-elf jumped to the first and only conclusion that made sense to her, "I must have misheard my Subaru! That's it!"

She nodded to herself, confident in this fact, and replied to him, "Subaru~ I heard you say something reeeally strange just now. Could you repeat yourself? I think I misheard you."

The man clenched his fists and allowed what remained of his friendly facade to wither away and collapse, his whole body tensing slightly as he directed his full determination towards his beloved. He repeated his words, this time with a clearer and stronger voice lined with the intensity it had always held when faced with the world's greatest monsters, almost sounding defiant and holding a tone befitting a man called Pride, "Emilia... I'm not your Subaru."

Right before his eyes, the rich browns of the various lavish woods of the room dulled and vanished. Eerily beautiful fractals of frost creeped their way across every wall, furnishing, and even the ornately designed glass windows. The entire room was frozen in an instant, the once vibrantly decorated decor afforded by the famous Mather's fortune now replaced with a sickly, icy white.

Had Beatrice been human, then she would have awoken to the rapid onset of severe frostbite; the entirety of the bed was now so blindingly white that one could no longer tell how poorly Subaru had tucked the spirit girl in. Subaru, meanwhile, had lived through - or rather - died in far worse conditions countless times so, despite his still broken ribs and rapidly freezing limbs, he stood firm before the emotionally volatile half-elf.

"You know, Subaru, it's reeeally not good to lie~" a voice like silver bells rang, upbeat and cheerful.

Emilia gave him a wide smile but her eyes betrayed her true feelings. They were strained, brimming with denial and desperation, and a moment away from scrunching up and filling with tears. For the past two years, her sanity was teetering on the edge of collapse with only Natsuki Subaru's constant, slaving efforts keeping her together. But now, she was having her one and only base of emotional support unceremoniously torn away from her with four simple words. In self defense, her mind simply refused to acknowledge it. Her mind refused to even consider the possibility that this wasn't her Subaru. Her mind rejected those four words with all its might.

"Damn it, truth. You better not fuck me over again," Subaru thought, standing tall despite the buffeting of the icy gale coming right from his beloved.

Gritting his teeth, he approached her despite the furious cold wind forcing him back and yelled out, "Emilia! Listen to m-"

But it was too much. Despite his unparalleled determination, his frail, human body faltered. The ice quickly spread from his legs, up his torso, and, after only a few seconds, it had taken hold over his head. The entirety of his being froze solid and, with a pained grimace still clear on his face, Natsuki Subaru lost his life.

There was a moment of darkness, a moment of silence, and then silver bells rang out once more, "You know, Subaru, it's reeeally not good to lie~"

He opened his eyes to the familiar line, a sinking feeling overtaking him and the fierceness of his eyes softening for a short, shocked moment.

"Why did I go back here?! There's not enough ti-" he started but could not finish. Just as before, the whole of his being froze and Natsuki Subaru lost his life.

"You know, Subaru, it's reeeally not good to lie~" silver bells repeated yet again, the consistency of her tone and words beginning to remind him of the phrase he had heard his nemesis utter to him thousands of times.

He closed his eyes as his mind went into overdrive, the irritating thoughts of the rage-filled Sword Saint being suppressed for the time being.

"There has to be a way to fix this. This couldn't be my checkpoint if"

The whole of his being froze and Natsuki Subaru lost his life, but, despite this, his mind kept thinking, slogging through the pain of multiple icy deaths.

"there wasn't some way to live through it. There has"

Natsuki Subaru lost his life.

"to be some combination of words that can convince"

Natsuki Subaru lost his life.

"her. Is it how I say her name? That always seemed"

Natsuki Subaru lost his life.

"to be a cause of discomfort for her. If so, what"

Natsuki Subaru lost his life.

"do I even call her then? I guess I can just"

Natsuki Subaru lost his life.

"try every combination until one works."

Natsuki Subaru lost his life.

"Emilia! Listen to m-"

Natsuki Subaru lost his life.

"Emilia-chan! Listen to m-"

Natsuki Subaru lost his life.

"Lia! Li-"

Natsuki Subaru lost his life.

"Why did that one anger her so much?!"

Natsuki Subaru lost his life.

"Emilia-san! Listen t-"

Natsuki Subaru lost his life.

"Emilia-sama! L-"

Natsuki Subaru lost his life.

"What do I have to fucking say t-"

Natsuki Subaru lost his life.

"That's it, I'm just gonna-"

Natsuki Subaru lost his life.

"Emilia-tan!"

For the first loop so far, the cold eased and Emilia was caught in a state of shock as his shouting of her name echoed through the frosted-over room.

"I guess that's the magic word. Natsuki Subaru, you really are making my life difficult," he thought to himself, a smirk nearly coming to his face.

But the moment of shock was just a moment and so, with the winds returning in force a few seconds later, Natsuki Subaru lost his life.

"Emilia-tan! Listen to me!" he shouted, the determination he held before any of these icy deaths returning to him.

With the winds weakened, he marched right up to her. His legs still began to freeze over as he approached but he ignored the pain. This was his only chance to truly reach her, his only chance to set things right.

"I may not be your Subaru but…" he started, keeping his eyes locked with hers.

The winds picked up and he felt frost growing across his body, his legs purple under his now glazed tracksuit. But he paid it no mind and, determined as ever, he brought her into a tight hug, the warmth of her form giving him some reprieve from the biting cold.

"I love you, Emilia," he said, his voice strong yet lovingly gentle into her pointy, elven ear.

Just as four words had threatened to tear her very soul apart, four more words brought her unprecedented comfort and hope. At his declaration, the tension throughout her body eased ever-so-slightly, the winds ceasing and the cold receding along with it.

"I love you, Emilia. So, please, listen to what I have to say," he said, the absence of the outside cold highlighting the frozen status of his limbs and prompting him to reflexively tighten his cautious hold on his beloved.

Despite the powerful emotions evoked by those four words of love, Emilia was still hesitant and somewhat tense in Subaru's embrace. She lightly pulled him off, the feeling of loss from the detaching of their forms hurting her just as much as it hurt him, and looked into the stern eyes she adored. Those hazel eyes that so many called nasty made her feel the opposite of disgust. Seeing the muddled mix of pain and determination he held - a look she had not properly seen in a very long time - Emilia decided to give this man who rejected being her Subaru a chance. She slowly and cautiously nodded at him, her own amethyst eyes quivering in anticipation. The half-elf stood there in suspense, struggling to stop herself from fidgeting, and waited for the words that would determine her future.

"Emilia-tan. My name is Natsuki Subaru, but I'm not the one who you know," he said, careful and deliberate with every word spoken, his voice now clear with the howling of the winds gone.

She held her breath and suppressed her magic as she waited for him to continue, instinctively moving her hand to the green crystal on her chest and focusing the whole of her attention on the man before her.

"He and I were identical until we... came to Lugunica. Until we met you."

He relaxed his on edge body and mind slightly as he continued, "We lived different lives and made different choices. You know what your Subaru did but… I need to tell you what I did."

She replied with a nod, still tense and awaiting the conclusion of his words.

"When I arrived, I met you and fell in love but… you were in danger," he said, allowing the pain and frustration to show on his face, the memories of his eighty eight deaths to the Bowel Hunter still lingering on the edges of his mind.

"So I dedicated my life to save you. I dedicated my life to fulfilling your goal of reaching the throne, even if you didn't know my name nor my face."

He took a deep breath and sighed, the suffering in his expression mixing with a deep exhaustion. He lowered his gaze, saying, "I killed so many… destroyed so many lives, so many times… and I told myself I was doing it for you but I was really just doing it for me…"

He looked back into her eyes, even more determined than he was when he allowed her to kill him a timeline away, "But I understand what I did wrong now. Your Natsuki Subaru made many mistakes but his best decision was to stand by your side rather than follow behind you in the shadows."

He felt the same warmth he did when she embraced him yesterday, the same secure peace of mind. He shone a genuine smile as he continued, "So, I am not your Natsuki Subaru… but I want to be. I love you, Emilia, and I want to stand by your side as we find our happiness together."

Her eyes widened as she looked at Subaru, his own holding a desperation she had never seen before. No, she had seen it once. She had seen it when he was at the end of his rope two full years ago. When she gave him that first lap pillow. She smiled softly, "Subaru…"

"I'll understand if you don't want to… but will you… accept me?" he asked, the determination in his voice being overtaken by a nervous apprehension.

He was truly prepared for rejection. He was truly prepared for even death at her hands. He was truly prepared for his heart to be torn asunder as punishment for his many sins.

"Subaru, you dunderhead…"

But what he was not at all prepared for was her embrace. He was not all prepared for the feeling of warmth as she gave him a tight hug. He was not at all prepared for "a chance at a Happy Ending, huh?"

"Subaru…" Emilia started, allowing herself to bask in the comfort of his presence for a moment before continuing, "Even if you're not the same anymore, you're still you deep down. You're still the man I want to love. You're still the man I will grow to love," she said, the blush on her face hidden from his view.

Tears of joy. Tears of pure, unadulterated joy. There was no remorse or guilt or weight in his tears. They were simply the only way he could express his utter happiness in this moment as he hugged her back tightly, a wide smile across his face.

"You may not be as pure as the driven snow... but you never were. I'll accept you despite your flaws because you're my Subaru. And you're the only one left I can trust. You're the only one who would stand by my side and give me comfort even when the whole world is against me."

"Really? I feel like I've spent more time sobbing around her than being a comfort. I really am the same loser as Natsuki Subaru. But…"

"No one says 'as pure as the driven snow' anymore, Emilia-tan."

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

Chapter Text

A white base with a hint of beige to grant a sense of age, but not so much as to impart a feeling of being archaic. A sparkling golden trim in a rectangle, perfectly symmetrically encapsulating what was within. An intricately painted golden hawk, wings spread and head turned; it almost seemed to be shunning him.

"I guess that's why the other me decided to sleep over on the couch instead." Subaru thought, having opened his eyes only just a moment prior.

He took a rather deep breath and, exhaling, he continued his nearly automatic waking routine by relaxing his body and analyzing the situation he found himself in.

From the soft, welcoming sensation of his whole body somewhat sinking into the surface below him, Subaru instantly knew that he was snuggled up in his bed, his mind and body incredibly well rested.

"And I didn't have another one of those cryptic dreams this time. But I'm sure it'll come back. Shit like that doesn't just go away," he thought to himself, taking his time to bask in the comfort of the luxurious mattress he had been so rudely pulled away from the last time he had woken up.

A moment later, the golden hawk symbol irritating him, he shifted to sit up in bed and rested his back against its headboard. It was then that he noticed he was holding someone's hand.

Turning his sights left, he saw that beside the bed, in the very chair Subaru first found himself in, sat an unconscious Emilia. Her short silver hair was shining with the light of the setting sun and what remained of a satisfied smile lingered on her face as she breathed softly, her hand tightly gripping Subaru's own.

"I know I was supposed to have a change of heart, but I would burn down the whole country for a second time if it meant I could protect that smile," he muttered to himself, completely enraptured by the simply angelic sight beside him.

"You should avoid doing so, I suppose. But if that is the path Betty's Subaru will take then Betty shall join you, in fact," another voice sighed, an unfamiliar combination of concern and apprehension lining their words.

Subaru turned to his right to see the familiar spirit loli sitting next to him on the bed, her hand grasping his. Raising an eyebrow at the girl, Subaru shot her a rather skeptical look.

Frowning, she continued, "Don't you underestimate Betty, I suppose. Betty is a centuries old spirit with much of Mother's lost magical knowledge stored in her mind, in fact."

"You seem rather accepting of the prospect of murder, Beako. You know that such a thing isn't suited for little girls right?" he shot back before adding in his thoughts, "We all know how Meili turned out..."

She gave him a stern pout and flailed her arms about, still holding his hand in hers, and clearly taking care as to not tug too forcefully on her only recently-healed contractor.

"Did Betty not just say she was a centuries old spirit?! Betty could beat anyone in this mansion besides perhaps Roswaal and Bubby in a fight, in fact!" she declared, her face having turned slightly pink with her shouting.

"What about the Sword Saint?" Subaru immediately retorted, noting his nemesis's absence on her list.

"He doesn't count, in fact. No one can best him in a fight, I suppose," she replied, dismissing his comment with ease and looking away from her new contractor.

Subaru frowned and muttered to himself, "Doesn't mean you can't best him in another way though."

"What was that, in fact?" questioned the girl, whose sights immediately returned to Subaru's.

"I was just wondering who Bubby is," Subaru lied, his tone consistent and neutral.

Beatrice frowned and narrowed her eyes at him, saying, "Betty asks that you do not lie to her, I suppose."

Trying and failing to maintain her serious tone, she added, "As p-p-partners, we must be honest with each other."

Subaru smirked, ecstatic at the girl's attempt at maturity and class backfiring, and said, "You're so damn adorable Beako."

She pointedly ignored that comment. Her blush, however, could not be hidden as she replied, "I-if you must know, Bubby is Betty's brother, in fact. You may know him by the name Puck, I suppose. He is the Great Spirit of Fire."

Subaru put on a thinking face. He would have also placed his hand on his chin to complete the look but they were both occupied.

"Now that you mention him, I haven't really seen Puck around in my whole time here. Shouldn't he be by Emilia's side, protecting her?" he asked, trying to hide his disappointment in the spirit's failure at its one and only job.

Beatrice adopted a dejected expression at these words, her proud smile faltering and her previously tall posture quickly crumbling and collapsing in on itself. Had she kept her sights on Subaru, she would have berated him for his thinly veiled disgust, but now… she could barely keep her own breathing steady. She lowered her gaze and closed her eyes, unable to keep looking into the intense, hazel ones of her new contractor, and tightened her hold on the hand she held.

"Mother, brother, Roswaal… Ryuzu…"

She felt a heat grow behind her closed eyelids and, for a moment, desperately wanted to break down and cry; she desperately wanted to grip her head until her knuckles grew white once more.

"Beako? Are you alright?" asked a voice, lined with concern.

She mustered every ounce of willpower she could and composed herself, glancing back up and meeting Subaru's eyes. The look of worry clear on his face brought her a mixture of relief and guilt that she hated.

Just as Subaru opened his mouth to continue speaking, Beatrice cut him off, saying, "Betty is alright. She just… needed… needs a moment, I suppose."

To this, the tracksuit-clad man curtly nodded and patiently waited for her to gather herself, his full attention leveled squarely on her.

Beatrice took a deep breath, exhaled, and spoke, "Bubby hasn't shown himself even once in the past two years, I suppose. It seems to me that that silly girl's contract with him was altered at some point."

"Altered?" Subaru asked, genuinely confused and curious.

"It is not that Bubby is choosing to no longer show himself, I suppose. It is that Bubby is unable to show himself, in fact," she explained, her mood still dampened by the thought of her missing brother.

"I guess that's part of the reason Emilia seems so… dependent on me. Her pet/guardian became a deadbeat." Subaru thought, allowing a mental note of Beatrice's clearly fragile mental state to fall into the back of his mind.

The strategic part of his brain quickly processed this new information and situation before arriving at the seemingly best course of action.

"Well, there's no reason to keep around a spirit that isn't actually around anymore so…"

"How can we talk to Puck?" he asked, thinking, "Maybe we can get him to break their contract..."

The spirit girl regarded her contractor for a moment before answering, "The only way for you to talk to him now is to either kill the girl or to threaten her while she is unconscious, I suppose. The first will fulfill a hidden part of their contract while the second will activate a defensive failsafe, in fact. Betty recommends we use the second option, I suppose. Although he will not manifest, we will still hear Bubby's voice."

Subaru nodded, having quickly processed the new information, and begrudgingly removed his hands from their partners. He felt his mood dampen slightly by doing this but he paid it no real mind. As he moved towards Emilia, he was interrupted by the spirit girl, "Be careful, I suppose. You were already injured plenty before and Betty does not want to see that silly girl attempt to heal you again, in fact."

He turned his head towards Beatrice, asking, "Did she expend her mana to heal me? Is that why she's unconscious?"

Beatrice gave him a smug look and a wry smile, her melancholic expression fading as result, "She did just that, in fact. Although she was incapable of healing you fully, I suppose. Betty had to finish the job herself. Healing broken ribs that had been untreated for hours was no easy task, I suppose. You can feel free to praise Betty, in fact."

Her smug look instantly evaporated as she was grabbed into a tight hug by her contractor and then lifted into the air by her sides. She began to blush furiously and made unintelligible noises that only vaguely resembled words as he relentlessly praised her, "You are the cutest Beako! You are the best Beako! I love you! I couldn't live without you!"

After some time, the pair settled down and Subaru released her from his grasp. She looked away from him with an embarrassed and saddened face, "As much as Betty deserves the praise, you shouldn't lie to her, I suppose."

Subaru's smile faded as he put on a serious look, staring into her averted eyes, "I meant every word, Beatrice. I really do love you and I really can't live without you."

She cautiously met his gaze, her voice subtly shaking as she replied, "Betty heard what you said to that silly girl, in fact. You said you wanted to 'stand by her side' as you find 'your happiness together', I suppose."

Subaru placed his hands on her shoulders and felt her whole body slightly tremble. His eyes remained locked with hers as he said, "I didn't say 'your happiness together', Beako. I said 'our happiness together'. That includes you too."

At his words, Beatrice seemed unconvinced. Her trembling only grew worse and she appeared to be on the verge of tears. Quickly, he pulled her into a hug and continued, "Emilia is my reason to march towards the future. She's the reason I keep on living."

He hugged her tighter and his voice filled with conviction, "But you're the reason I can stand up in the present, Beako. You're the reason I can carry the weight of my past sins and have hope."

He could feel her tears wetten his shirt. He knew they were not ones of grief, and so continued, "I love you, Beatrice. I really love you. You're like a sister to me. Which is weird because, to me, we just met."

"I guess we're just that compatible huh? I wonder what happened to her in my timeline…"

Pushing away the thought, Subaru pressed forward, comforting her in the only way he knew how, "You chose me and I chose you. And we'll kill any bastards who get in the way of our happiness."

At these words, the little girl cried into his chest for some time, her grip on his tracksuit so tight as to make her knuckles white. Subaru did not mind and simply held her close, giving her what little peace of mind he could offer.

Eventually, she lifted her head, meeting his eyes with a determined smile, and spoke with passion in her voice, "Betty will not show mercy to any who harm her Subaru, I suppose. Betty will fight for our future, in fact."

He smiled back at her and met her energy exactly, "Damn straight Beako. I couldn't've said it better myself, I suppose."

Her eyes now reddened from sobbing and her hold on him still tight, Beatrice thought, trying her utmost to keep the passionate look on her face, "It's all Betty can be good for anymore, I suppose. Betty can not fail again, in fact."

A few minutes passed, and Subaru and Beatrice were up and out of bed. He was in the middle of some stretches to get his body ready for the rest of the evening while she began to catch him up with a handful of important matters. She had her eyes closed, one hand on her hip, and one hand held up with a finger extended in the air; truly, she was the model of a diligent tutor.

"...our contract stipulates that you shall be unable to make any contracts with any other spirits, in fact. Furthermore, I can only gather mana from your body and not the surrounding environment, I suppose," Beatrice explained, being as detailed as possible in her wording.

Subaru was in the middle of a dynamic stretch towards his left leg as he replied, "So that's what you can grunt do in a fight, Beako…"

"Even with the restrictions, she's quite powerful. Four hundred years of mana, huh? I underestimated her," he noted, adjusting his mental assessment of the mansion's occupants and their respective threat levels.

He switched to stretch towards his right leg as he asked, "And how does this affect my contract with grunt Echidna?"

Beatrice replied as he continued through his list of standard stretches, questioning what he was doing with her gaze rather than her words, "It changes nothing about your contract with Mother, I suppose. Although you would do well to hide it better, in fact."

Subaru did not notice her judgemental staring and pondered to himself, more focused on her words than her body language, "Well, she is the Witch of Greed after all. Can't have that information be public unless I completely forego being any sort of good guy. Wow… I just considered being a good guy. How the tables have turned…"

After a silent moment, Beatrice continued her pseudo-tutoring, mildly dissatisfied by the fact that it was drawing to a close, "Betty has taken the liberty of holding onto the pendant which serves as Mother's medium, I suppose. And before you ask, no I can not use it as you do, in fact. Only with your express permission can anyone interact with Mother's spirit, I suppose. In Betty's hands, it is simply an inert magic crystal."

"So it activates when I, and only I, touch it, huh?" he mused to himself, a frown coming to his face as his mind began making conclusions.

"So that's how she sees what I do even without my grunt holding of it. She catches up on all she's missed once I regain contact," he said, his stretches being done entirely through muscle memory, "Clever Bitch."

"That is how it might work, I suppose…" Beatrice muttered, her eyes narrowed as she blankly stared at Subaru's latest stretch and her hand placed on her chin - incredibly similarly to how Subaru had done so only a few minutes ago - in thought.

Subaru finished the last of his routine and turned to Beatrice, placing his hand on her head and flashing a smile, "Thank you, Beako. I feel like I could kill even the Great Rabbit with you by my side."

Beatrice feigned irritation at the head pat but made no effort to resist it as she replied, "You already slew the Great Rabbit, in fact."

At this, Subaru's mind wandered while he absentmindedly continued patting her head, "I wonder how the fuck you managed that, Natsuki Subaru. If I had to guess, that clown likely carried. What a good for nothing teammate you are… you magnificent bastard."

He retracted his hand and turned towards the bed, prompting Beatrice to mumble to herself, "You could've kept going, I suppose."

Subaru quickly shot back, a smirk on his face, "What was that, Beako?"

"Nothing, in fact!" she said, suppressing her tendency to stutter but completely failing to stop her blush.

At the sight of his embarrassed contracted spirit, Subaru gave a genuine smile for a moment, "Don't worry, we'll have plenty of time for heat pats and cuddles in a bit. I'll indulge you much more later, Beako."

As he turned once again towards the bed, Beatrice thought, "You better, I suppose."

Subaru stood before Emilia's unconscious form, which he had already tucked into his bed, and took a moment to study her sleeping face.

"You're so beautiful and perfect, Emilia-tan. Having to do this makes me feel so guilty, even if it's necessary."

The peaceful, loving expression he held soured considerably at that last thought but he brushed it off for the time being. Taking a deep breath, he cautiously inched his arms towards her smooth, white neck.

Suddenly, his hands almost froze solid, forcing him to instinctively retract them.

"You don't need to be so rough with Betty's Subaru, in fact," Beatrice said, lightly frowning.

An echoing androgynous voice that sounded both close and distant could be heard from the crystal over the half-elf's chest, "You know I can't do that Betty, it's Subaru after all. Besides, I'm going easy on him. If you weren't here, he'd be dead already."

Puck had said that casual death threat in a cheery, upbeat voice but it was clear to both Subaru and Beatrice that it was, in fact, no joke. Subaru kept his eyes on the green crystal as he held his now blue arms out to Beatrice for healing.

"So, Puck, where have you been all this time?" Subaru asked, trying his best to keep his tone neutral and conversational despite the tension in the air.

"Betty did a pretty good job explaining it so I won't repeat it. What matters now is what's changed from your actions today," Puck said in his usual friendly tone.

"My actions?" Subaru questioned, slightly wincing as the healing magic did its work. Somehow, unfreezing his arms hurt more than freezing them.

"For a little while there I was willing to trust Lia with you. Maybe I would have if you approached me about it back at the Sanctuary. But after that, you were nothing but suspicious," explained Puck, sounding less and less friendly with every word.

"The hell's a Sanctuary? Is that the Lugunican euphemism for the pound?" Subaru wondered, completely unfamiliar with the term.

"Until today at least," Puck continued, his tone having settled on a playful mix of impatient father and scorned lover, "Well, actually, you're still quite suspect but at least this new you I can be sure will protect my daughter. The old you was too all over the place to do a good job of it."

"While I appreciate your newfound confidence in me, I'd like to know why you're telling me this exactly," Subaru said, allowing himself to plainly express his confusion at the spirit's words.

"I will be leaving my daughter soon. When I do, you will need to be there to not only protect her but also help her through it. I'd really prefer to entrust her with someone more… sane, but you're all I have. No offense."

Subaru casually took his newly unfrozen arms and brought them to his sides. A normal person would have been screaming in agony in that moment but Subaru, even earlier today, had experienced far worse.

"None taken," he replied.

Beatrice tugged on his sleeve, drawing his attention away from Puck, "We should leave Bubby and that girl alone for some time, I suppose. Forcibly breaking their contract is only possible through great effort and concentration, in fact. Furthermore, it is rude to interrupt the sacred dialogue between spirit and contractor, I suppose."

Subaru made no objections as she grasped his hand and led him towards the door. Before leaving, she turned to give her brother one last solemn look, "It was nice to see you again, in fact. Take care, Bubby."

That last sentence was said with the intentional exclusion of her speaking quirk. To Subaru, the words powerfully echoed through the room.

"Ah. Thank you, Betty. Be careful as well," Puck replied, a tone of sadness clear in his voice.

The pair of Subaru and Beatrice left, shutting the door behind them. After a silent moment, Puck said aloud to himself, "I'm glad you finally found someone to drag you out of there, Beatrice."

Chapter Text

A young man in a shabby tracksuit stood just in front of the now closed door, hand in hand with a small girl clad in an elegant red and pink dress. The man set his sights directly in front of him, his posture relaxed yet strong and unmoving. He felt, and even heard, his stomach growl but paid it no mind. “I'll put up with a little bit of hunger if it means being there for my Emilia-tan.”

The girl, on the other hand, stood beside him with unease, her stance rigid and her face clearly forced into its neutral position. At first glance, she appeared just as confident and determined as the man, but, should one look closer, they would notice her tight grip on her partner’s hand as well as the anxious darting of her pupils as she scanned both ends of the hallway.

The girl knew that they'd be waiting in front of this door for quite some time. Breaking a long standing, complex contract with a powerful great spirit is no easy feat after all. “Betty's Subaru should not be going hungry, in fact. He needs to have the energy to praise Betty, I suppose,” she thought, searching for any reason to move from her position.

A small smirk grew on her face and a sense of genuine relief was brought to her as she sensed an approaching figure. “She will be able to bring Betty's Subaru down to dinner, I suppose.”

“Ah, Subaru-sama!” a voice called out from the pair’s left, full of youthful energy.

The man turned at the call of his name and spotted an amber-haired maid a short way down the hall, giving him a small wave. He returned the gesture on reflex with his free hand, thinking, “That seems like rather informal behavior for a maid, but I guess I don't mind…”

Petra's eyes widened and her mouth gaped slightly as she saw Beatrice standing by his side, holding his hand. But, after a shocked moment, she quickly regained her composure, shaking her head.

“Does she know that her body language makes her an open book? It's adorable. No wonder you kept her around, other me. You're one weird loli-harem-having bastard but at least you've got good taste in them.”

“What's the matter, Petra?” he asked, shifting his whole body to face her, pulling Beatrice along with him.

The maid stiffened at the call of her name and met Subaru's eyes, transfixed. She did not respond and, instead, found herself lost in thought, “Subaru looks so… lively. He always seemed like he was hiding away how he felt but now…”

Subaru, confused, walked up to Petra with Beatrice in tow, leaving their post at the front of the door.

The amber-haired girl did not know if it was his relaxed, natural demeanor or if it was the familiar yet almost forgotten look of his tracksuit but “I can see the true face of the hero who saved me now.”

Put off by her silent staring, Subaru placed a hand on her shoulder and asked, "Are you okay?"

She flinched at the action and replied sheepishly, her eyes shooting to the ground as she blushed slightly, “I-it's nothing, S-subaru… -sama.”

“The hell was that all about? Weird kid.”

She raised her gaze again and suppressed her blush as she continued, “A-anyways, it's almost time for dinner!”

He retracted his arm and sighed at her, saying, “As hungry as I am, I can't leave here at the mo-”

Cutting him off, Petra interrupted him, raising a finger to his face and placing a hand on her hip, “No~ way~, Subaru-sama. You barely ate dinner yesterday, and you missed both breakfast and lunch today!”

She grabbed the sleeve of his jacket opposite of Beatrice and began to drag him down the hall, continuing to berate him, “If you don't eat properly, you won't grow big and strong! Isn't that what you told me? I think-”

Subaru began to tune her voice out as he stared at her in shock, not resisting the movement. “This pre-teen girl just made me, her master and the Sin Archbishop of Pride, the man who burned down the entire kingdom, the man who time itself bends to, the man who the Divine Dragon and the Sword Saint themselves could not stop... go down to dinner like I'm a spoiled child.”

He suddenly burst into laughter as they walked, prompting the lolis on either side of him to give him confused looks.

“I-it's nothing.” he said, smiling sheepishly, “I just… this place is really just something else isn't it?”

The group, content in a comfortable silence, wordlessly approached the large, ornate dining room doors, all previous conversations having died down naturally at that point. Petra stood in front of the pair, leading them to their destination while Beatrice and Subaru held hands behind her. All three of them were deep in thought.

“Petra confirmed what Elsa told me the other night about Meili. Furthermore, it seemed unusual to her that I had forgotten to visit Meili yesterday and wondered if I would be skipping out on it today as well. But it almost seemed like…”

Subaru frowned slightly and his eyes narrowed as he bore a hole into the ground in front of him with his gaze.

“Petra wanted me to stop seeing her? I could guess at a ton of reasons why but, considering this is Natsuki Subaru we're talking about, the real answer isn't even something I've come close to considering yet. I guess I'll just see her before I head to bed tonight.”

Beatrice, meanwhile, was thoughtfully inspecting her contractor's silent form as they walked, a smile present on her face.

“I like this look on Subaru, I suppose. He often looks quite mad, in fact. But right now he seems deeply lost in thought and has an air of grace.”

She made a quiet "hmpf" noise to herself and turned her head away from him.

“You really are hopeless, Betty's Subaru, but I will not give up on you, in fact. It is only fair after you refused to give up on me, I suppose.”

Petra walked silently, trying her best to fight the urge to turn to look at Subaru. She did not believe herself capable of keeping her composure if their gazes met again.

“Subaru seems really different today. Ram-neesama and the others mentioned it as well and I even saw part of it when I went to wake him up earlier but…”

She blushed heavily at the recollection of that memory and, after a few seconds of savoring it, she dismissed it from her mind, careful to not let any of the precious details smudge or fade.

“Now I really do think he's different. He's better for sure, but I have this feeling that there's still something wrong with him that I can't quite put my finger on.”

Without needing to think about it, Petra opened the doors in front of them, moved off to the side of the pair, and bowed her head. 

Subaru and Beatrice refocused their minds on reality as they entered the almost fully attended dining room.

The room itself was, frankly, massive. Subaru had never been inside it before coming to this timeline, and each time he had been here, his mind was too full of more pressing matters. Thus, for the first time, Subaru was capable of, even if just for a moment, appreciating the lavish and grand nature of where the richest man in Lugunica eats his meals.

While Subaru’s room in particular was almost entirely beige and brown with only the barest hints of gold patterning to liven up the decor, a mix of vibrant greens, rich browns, and an obscene quantity of golds covered the dining room. There were patterns adorning every surface, most notably the elegant blending of two distinct checkered designs upon the unreasonably smooth and reflective floor.

The monolithic windows directly across from the main doors served the dual purpose of highlighting the central table - adorned with a pristine, patternless white cloth that had not even a single stain upon it - and deemphasising the presence of the handful of side entrances on either side of the room that Subaru correctly assumed were intended for staff use.

Having darted his sights across the room in less than a second and quickly processing what he had seen, Subaru turned his attention to the aforementioned table. Reinhard was sitting patiently at the seat he had taken earlier and gave Subaru a genuine smile, which the madman tried his best not to scowl at. Garfiel pointedly ignored Subaru as he gave a questioning glance to the little girl standing beside him, and Ram's eyes betrayed an expression of shock for a moment before she calmed herself and looked at her master.

Sitting beside the standing Ram was the lord of the mansion: Roswaal L Mathers. And he had just dropped the glass of wine he had been sipping from onto the floor, shattering it. In the moment before he regained his composure, Subaru could see genuine emotion plain on the clown's face for the first time. He was very clearly shocked, partially overjoyed, yet also filled with a great guilt.

A second later, his usual jovial facade had locked back into place as all heads turned to see the source of the sound of the shattering glass. Only Ram, Subaru, and Beatrice saw his short moment of honest emotion.

“Oh my, Raaam it seems thaaaat I had my grip slip a taaaad. Could yoooou kindly tidy my mess pleeease,” he kindly asked the maid beside him, a wide smile present on his face.

The pink haired maid immediately complied with her master's wishes and wordlessly began collecting the shattered glass. Doing so incredibly quickly, she turned to the still spaced-out girl at the door as her task came to close, “Petra.”

The amber haired maid made a small yelp and turned towards Ram, having snapped out of her thoughts. The oni narrowed her eyes at her colleague's complacency and, frowning, said, “Seeing as how everyone has arrived, with the exception of Emilia-sama who I assume can not join us, you should go fetch and serve the meal promptly.”

A nervous chill went down the girl's spine at her superior's harsh-toned words. Ram had made it sound like Emilia's absence, Subaru's lateness, and Roswaal dropping his glass were all somehow her fault and her fault alone. However, used to this, Petra did not falter in her role as an esteemed maid of the Mathers family and promptly accepted her task, “Y-yes, Ram-neesama!”

As the two maids went to perform their respective duties of mopping up spilled wine and distributing the food, the room's attention shifted back towards a grinning Subaru and neutral-faced Beatrice, both of whom still stood at the entrance.

“I saw how you looked for a second there, clown. Since when do you slip up?” the tracksuit-clad man said, smugly.

Completely ignoring Subaru's obvious taunt and having never shifted his attention away from the spirit girl, Roswaal spoke out to the pair, “Weeeell Betty-san, it's marvelous to finally seeee you join us for dinner.”

Subaru's smile grew irritated at being ignored while Beatrice shared in that same frustration. She turned her head away from Roswaal and gave her best "hmpf".

“Betty has nothing to say to you, I suppose. Not after you burned down Mother's library, in fact,” she spat, looking at the clown out of the corner of her eye.

In response, Roswaal feigned hurt and replied, placing his hand on his chest, “Betty dooon't be like that. We're suuuuch good friends aren't we? You woooound my fragile heart.”

The pair ignored the clown's poor show and marched on over to sit at the table. Subaru sat where he did last time, despite Emilia's absence, and Beatrice took the seat beside him. Looking up and facing directly forward, he was greeted by the sight of a smiling Reinhard on the opposite side of the table. Subaru almost automatically scowled at him but instead looked back down at his empty plate.

“Fucking Reinhard and his perfect smile and his perfect attitude. What a perfectly irritating fuckhead. Earlier I wasn't this annoyed because I had so much on my mind but now that this room is silent and my head is empty... his goddamn smile won't stop pointing at me! Seeing him like this makes me want to burn everything down again so badly.”

His scowl shifted into a mad grin as his thoughts grew darker, “Yes, yes this can work. I have Emilia and Beako on my side this time. If I can get the clown to support me again, I can eradicate the Witch Cult and destroy his name once more. I can still kill the oh-so-perfect Swords Saint just like how I did before. This is going to be so fu-”

Just before he was going to enter into a bout of insane laughter, he felt a hand on his arm. He turned to see Beatrice standing beside him, a small frown on her face.

“You'll hurt yourself if you keep your grip so tight, I suppose. I will have to heal you again, in fact,” she said, her tone gentle and soothing.

In response, Subaru's body relaxed and he opened his hands to reveal bleeding palms. Beatrice took them into hers and healed them almost instantly. Not meeting his gaze, she then crawled her way onto his lap, her face almost as red as her dress.

“Beako…?” he started but quickly stopped, too stunned by her behavior to properly articulate himself.

“B-betty is not doing this because she wants to, in fact. Betty simply needs to keep her contractor from doing something reckless, I suppose,” the girl stammered out, her eyes fixed to the empty plate before her.

Subaru took a moment to take in her tsundere energy and wrapped his now healed arms around her, eliciting a quiet yelp from the spirit loli.

“I love you, Beatrice,” he said, his words as genuine and caring as he could make them; as genuine and caring as ones he would direct towards his beloved.

“T-t-truly B-Betty's S-Subaru is a hopeless m-man, I suppose,” she struggled to articulate, her face now the most red object in the room.

He held her tight and took a deep breath, allowing the closeness of her form to calm him further. After a moment, Subaru lifted his gaze to meet Reinhard's again, who seemed quite confused. However, behind the perplexed look on his face, Subaru could tell that the knight was thinking something self deprecating.

“As much as I want to encourage that behavior, I can't start throwing a wrench into this place yet. I still don't know what exactly Emilia will decide she wants to do with Puck gone. I guess I'll have to… have to…”

Subaru almost vomited at the mere thought of apologizing to his nemesis. It was too repulsive of an idea to even think of. 

However, picking up on Subaru's pain and noticing his attitude towards Reinhard thus far, Beatrice spoke up for him, her blush having only somewhat subsided, “Betty would like to apologize in place of her contractor, I suppose. Betty's Subaru is sorry for staring at you with hateful eyes, in fact.”

At her words, Subaru, on one hand, was incredibly relieved he did not need to feign remorse towards his enemy while, on the other hand, was still incredibly disgusted by the fact that Reinhard received an apology from him at all, even if it was through Beatrice.

“Fucking perfect asshole forcing my Beako to lie for me. Fucking hate that prick,” he thought, reflexively clenching his fists yet again.

But his self harming action was stopped and his fury waned as Beatrice turned to speak to him, an incredibly smug look on her face, “Feel free to praise Betty for her excellent work, I suppose. Betty has stopped your foolishness twice-over, in fact.”

A soft smile coming to his face, Subaru gave her a gentle pat on the head and a soft hug, saying, “Good work, Beatrice. I couldn't live on without you.”

Chapter Text

Reinhard had lived through good times and bad times alike, but usually his life was some unholy mix of sad, pathetic, and pitiful that he liked to label as "What I deserve". But even in those dark moments, little bits of light poked through and found their way to him. He had the stalwart companionship of two fellow knights, even if they were never fully at ease around him, he had a Lady to call his own and to entrust his sword to, even if she was never very lady-like, and he had a friend, a true friend who saw him for the monster he was and stood by him anyway. Even when his pathetic, undeserving self was distanced from his companions in different camps and when his own Lady rejected and left him, Reinhard always had Natsuki Subaru to accept him.

That is why, sitting at the dinner table across from the only reliable person in his life, for the second time that week, Reinhard felt an awful sinking feeling within himself akin to when his grandfather berated him or when Felt left him but so, so much worse. He could practically feel the unfettered hatred his frie- no he didn't deserve to call him that even in his mind anymore - his comrade was directing towards him. Even with Subaru avoiding Reinhard’s gaze as best as he could - surely because he was just that repulsive to look at - the red haired knight could see a grimace on the tracksuit-clad man’s face, one even more stern than anything Subaru had ever directed towards the archbishops he had defeated and slain. Truly, Reinhard was a monster beyond anything even Subaru had seen. And yet...

Yesterday, he had dearly hoped it was nothing but a fluke, that it was merely a one time thing. He had felt a twisted relief knowing his comrade's mental state was less than optimal to the point where he saw him cry himself to sleep in the dining room. He had hope, coming to dinner today, that Natsuki Subaru, once put back together, would look at him with understanding and kindness once more. But here Reinhard was, across from the comrade he wished was his friend, on the end of a glare full of malice.

When the great spirit, whom Reinhard knew loathed and despised Subaru with all her heart to the point of scratching at him whenever he went to see her, intervened to calm his comrade down, he was confused to say the least.

“Have I been so despicable and unreasonable that Subaru received the gentle prompting to calm down from a being that hates him? I guess I truly am that repugnant aren't I. I can only bring people together against myself. I can never inspire, never command, never be the hero like Subaru...”

“Betty would like to apologize in place of her contractor, I suppose. Betty's Subaru is sorry for staring at you with hateful eyes, in fact.” the girl-like entity said, not only derailing Reinhard’s entire thought process but also completely stunning him to the point where even his innermost thinking was silent for a time.

He processed the spirit's words slowly and carefully. He analyzed the tone and content with as much of his brain as he could to the point where he did not notice he rudely failed to respond, nor that Subaru was still looking at him with utter disgust.

“So Subaru truly was looking at me with hateful eyes, then? I already knew that but the confirmation from great spirit-sama still stings. I guess that's what I deserve…”

“But why did she apologize? It was not for herself in any way, it was to represent her contractor's wishes, Subaru's wishes.”

Reinhard had been staring at his empty plate with such intensity that any harder, he would have quite literally destroyed it with his gaze.

“So Subaru hates me but feels sorry for doing so? Why? Why would he feel regret for his hatred? Why would he maintain it despite his regret? Was it something I have done? Was it something I did not do? Surely I must be at fault in some way but I just can not comprehend how.”

Reinhard closed his eyes, not noticing the table shake and the food, that he also did not notice the presence of, spill slightly onto the tablecloth. Nor did he notice when Garfiel's body flew past his head, followed shortly by Subaru's running form. He was simply so lost in thought that he spent the entirety of the dinner unmoving, ignoring whatever  was going on around him. He was quite literally trapped inside of his own head. 

No matter how he analyzed his actions, no matter how much he combed through his every memory, no matter what he thought about, he could not find a logical reason as to why Subaru suddenly started hating him yesterday afternoon. Hell, not even twenty minutes before dinner yesterday they were having an amicable conversation in which Reinhard had used his Divine Protection of Empathy to see that Subaru only felt friendliness and guilt towards him, as he always has. Why he felt guilt, Reinhard still has not made a conclusion about but that was not the matter at hand.

And so, his Divine Protections and logic failing him, Reinhard had resolved to pay Subaru a visit either tonight, preferably just after dinner, or first thing tomorrow morning and ask him all these questions directly. He knew he was eating into Subaru's incredibly valuable time and was an awful person for doing so, but he just… had to ask. “ I am just that pathetic.”

Suddenly, Reinhard felt a light tug on his shoulder. He looked over to see Petra, the kindly orange haired maid whom he always complimented the food of, regardless of its actual quality, pulling on him with all her might. Noticing she drew his attention, her grip on his coat slipped and she began to fall backwards to the ground. Moving almost instantaneously, he grabbed her falling form in his arms.

“Are you alright, Petra-san? What ever is the matter?” the knight asked, troubled by her unusual behavior.

She looked up at him with confused and concerned eyes as she got back onto her own two feet, saying, “Reinhard-sama… are you alright?”

Reinhard instinctively smiled and replied, "Of course, why do you ask? Do you require any assistance in preparing for dinner?"

The maid silently regarded him for a moment, an eyebrow raised, before slowly replying, “Reinhard-sama… dinner is long over. You did not move or budge for the entire time… and for an entire hour afterward. I came to tidy the room after what happened but I did not expect to find you still here…”

Reinhard's smile faltered as he looked around. It was, indeed, nighttime and the sun had long set. His Divine Protections automatically reaffirmed this fact to him. He took a second to compose himself and then responded to the concerned maid, his softest artificial smile fixed to his face, “I think… I was just very much lost in thought. There's nothing to be concerned about, Petra-san. Thank you for your constant diligence. I will be taking my leave now. Good night.”

He gave a courteous bow of his head and walked towards the exit of the dining room, leaving Petra so bewildered that she forgot her manners and did not bow back until he had already left.

Petra turned to see that the plate Reinhard had been staring at the entire time, even with his eyes closed, that was fine just a moment ago, was shattered into pieces, the now cold food soaking into the tablecloth.

“First Subaru… and then Beatrice-sama and Roswaal-sama… and now Reinhard-sama as well? What is even happening today?”

Back before Reinhard's mind blue screened for an hour or two and immediately following Beatrice's conversation with her contractor while on his lap, Subaru's newfound calm was disturbed by a loud snort from the seat beside Reinhard.

“One hell of a great spirit you 're. One second y'hate him with e'ery fiber of yer bein' n' the next yer all o'er him like he's th' shatternook y'found in th' prairie,” Garfiel said, frowning deeply and crossing his arms. 

“What. the FUCK. does that even mean?”

“Excuse you?” Subaru shot back after a moment of confusion, surmising from the demihuman’s body language that either he or his Beako had just been insulted.

Garfiel merely glared at Subaru with even more hatred than before but a stern look from Ram stopped him from pursuing it further.

“Okay, among all the people in the mansion, the only one I am certain about is that fucker. I want him dead and nothing short of Emilia and Beako both begging for his life will stop me.” Subaru thought, returning Garfiel’s glare to which the demihuman did not falter.

The tension in the air was palatable as the two had a glare-off that Subaru felt confident he was winning. He had out-glared even Regulus in the past. No angry cat boy has a greater capacity for disrespect and pettiness than the Sin Archbishop of Pride himself.

Unfortunately for them - and fortunately for everyone else - their contest was ended with an unspoken draw as Petra reentered the room and served dinner to all those seated. Continuing to glare would have ruined their meal, after all.

As Petra placed a bowl before Subaru, Beatrice got up and out of his lap, much to his displeasure, and went to sit back in her own chair. Of course, the food would do nothing for her but it's not like she didn't enjoy a good meal every once in a while. It had been two years since she last ate and part of her was excited at a chance to eat once more.

“I hope Betty's Subaru can contain his madness and rage without Betty's presence, I suppose. Perhaps this will serve as good training for his mind, in fact.”

Subaru thanked Petra as she placed the meal in front of him. Noticing it was the same exact soup as yesterday, he reflexively frowned. He looked down at the unfortunately unappetizing dish, thinking, “I miss mayonnaise. It can make literally any meal better. It's been years since-”

Suddenly, Subaru felt, much to his surprise, his shoulder being nudged. He turned to see Petra standing beside him again, a clear container filled with a beige-looking substance in her hands.

“What the-”

“Y-you seemed rather down yesterday, Subaru-sama. So I used one of the recipes you left in the kitchen to make you some of that ‘mayonnaise’ you used to love,” she said, struggling to meet his eyes.

Petra swiftly handed the container to Subaru, who accepted it with shaking hands. He just stared at it with a look of cautious reverence, his eyes involuntarily widening. 

Having given her gift, Petra quickly ran off and back into the kitchen, lightly blushing.

“Is- is this really…”

He carefully removed the lid, picked up the spoon that lay beside the untouched soup, and took a small scoop of it to his lips. He warily placed the substance in his mouth, his eyes watering at what he found.

“It- it really is…”

He almost cried. He fought down the urge as hard as he could, but he could not stop the gears in his head from turning.

His mind flashed back to Japan, to his parents, to their unusual breakfasts, to all the happy times, and all the sad ones. He was on the verge of crying happy tears as a result of his past for the first time since he came to this world...

And then, the jar flew out of his hands and into the wall of the dining room, shattering and spreading the delectable goop onto the ground.

The room was quiet for the second after the shattering noise rang out, but the moment was short lived.

Rage. Pure unbridled Rage . Subaru snapped his head towards the monster that destroyed his moment, his happiness, his mayonnaise . He saw a smirking Garfiel looking at him with satisfied eyes.

“Ya seemed far too happy 'bout th-”

Subaru screamed, immediately cutting the demihuman off. He screamed with an anger he had never directed even at his worst enemies before. His eyes were ablaze and his knuckles white from the strength of his grip.

It was at this moment that Garfiel knew, he fucked up.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Despite being hundreds of times more physically capable than Subaru, Garfiel shrunk back in fear of the screaming man across from him. He had known Subaru for two full years and he could not recall a single time Subaru ever got properly angry at him. And now, Garfiel saw a man more enraged than he had seen literally anyone else in his life before, including himself.

Instinctively, he turned his gaze to the impossibly strong knight beside him for support but was met with a man who looked like he did not even hear a single thing that had happened thus far, as if he were living in some sort of parallel dimension to the one where Subaru was screaming at the top of his lungs. No, even then Garfiel thought that the scream would still reach him. So then, “ w hat th' hell 's happen-”

His single second of hesitation was all it took for Subaru to leap out of his chair, run across the dining room table, and punch Garfiel right in the face. But no, this was no normal punch. In his moment of pure rage, Subaru had felt something inside him change, as if some evil force within him that was once contained was now released.

Overlapping with Subaru's hand was another, shadow-black appendage that reinforced his punch. The strength in his swing increased over a hundredfold and the unprepared Garfiel was flung straight towards the still zoned-out Sword Saint. Yet he did not collide with him and, instead, turned about thirty degrees to the left and flew straight into the wall. Garfiel, the shield of the Sanctuary, was knocked immediately unconscious with a single punch.

But Subaru did not stop there. He marched towards the slumped over Garfiel, prepared to execute the mayo-hating monster, when the pink haired maid jumped between them.

“Barusu, you need to stop this at once! You'll kill Garf at this rate!” she screamed, trying and failing to reason with the beyond angry man.

But his rage stopped for no man and most certainly not for some maid . He continued his march as she raised her wand, prepared to strike.

“El Vita,” a distant voice calmly called out, sounding more like a sigh than a magical incantation.

Subaru fell to his knees, buckling under his own weight. He felt over a hundred kilos heavier than the moment before and was struggling not to fall to the ground and lose consciousness.

But the literal madman's rage compelled him forward and his strange new power stoked the flames in his heart. Black appendages overlapped with his legs and, slowly but surely, he stood up.

Ram's eyes widened further as she thought, “This is getting ridiculous. Barusu can't kill more than a single Ulgarm on his own. How is he able to knock Garfiel out with one punch and stand with that much weight holding him down?! Does this have something to do with his personality shift? Roswaal-sama's strange behavior? Reinhard's apparent apathy? Beatrice-sama's change of heart?”

A voice echoed in her mind, punctuating her thoughts, "...you are not truly Natsuki Subaru?"

She narrowed her eyes at the now slowly approaching madman, “Are you even Barusu?”

“Ram. Knock him out,” declared the margrave, his jovial tone all but abandoned.

Without a moment's hesitation, the oni complied with her master's orders, only taking note of the lack of accent after the deed was done. Despite his incredible force of will, Subaru was already pushing himself far beyond his limits. He was unable to even resist the maid's light chop to his neck. His limp body fell to the ground, unconscious.

At this point, the entire dining room, with the exception of a small radius around the immobile Reinhard, was a mess. On one half of the room, a good portion of the wall was plastered with mayonnaise and glass littered the floor. On the other half, a sizable Garfiel-shaped dent remained and the tiles underneath Subaru's body were cracked and shattered, ruining the once beautiful patterns.

The worst part was the table. The tablecloth was intact, if barely, but had several large tears in it. Every bowl of soup, including to a lesser extent Reinhard's, was knocked over while the table itself seemed to be on the verge of collapse.

The entirety of the dining room, which was pristine and fit for the likes of royalty just a moment ago, had been damaged and stained to the point where not even a peasant’s dog would choose to eat within it.

Everyone else too stunned silent to do anything, Beatrice was the first to take action. She sighed and walked over to her sleeping contractor, her expression more tired and understanding than disappointed.

“Murak, I suppose.”

She easily picked up Subaru's body and headed towards the exit, nobody moving to stop her. She turned as she reached the door, her eyes landing on the pink haired maid.

“Betty's Subaru will have missed an entire day's worth of meals if he is not fed, in fact. See to it that he is brought a meal some time tonight, I suppose.”

Ram slowly nodded her head at the spirit, surprised not only by the request but by the events of the dinner as a whole.

“Y-yes, Beatrice-sama.”

Beatrice walked out of the dining room and closed the door behind herself.

Alone outside of the dining room, the girl spoke aloud to herself, “Even after all of Betty's efforts, you still went mad, I suppose. Betty's Subaru truly is a hopeless man, in fact.”

She smirked and walked through the halls of the mansion, Subaru's nearly weightless body resting on her shoulder.

Chapter Text

No body, only mind. No light, only dark. Once again, the travelling boy had found himself in the shadowy place just beyond his own consciousness.

“ ‘Sigh’. Well this sucks. I literally can't even sigh. I had to think the word sigh instead of actually doing it.”

The darkness rippled and molded itself into a humanoid shape. It took form and substance, appearing as a familiar robe-clad man with sickly green skin.

“Ahhhhhh, such diligence~”

“Bete-san…”

The Sin Archbishop of Sloth stood with his hands behind his back, his sights confidently facing forward. Had Subaru had eyes, he would have locked his own with Petelgeuse’s, a strange satisfaction filling the latter’s nearing what Subaru could only presume was respect.

“You, who failed to follow love, failed to appeal to love, failed to bask in tHE GREATNESS OF HER LOVE!”

The madman's rambles expressed themselves in the movement of his body. Every word was accompanied by some strange, over-the-top gesture. But Subaru recognized them all.

“It really has been too long. Now that I'm expecting it, it's more nostalgic than annoying. Especially since Regulus isn't here this time. Hate that guy.”

“You have finally, finally, finally, fiNALLY FINALLY FINALLY FOUND HER LOVE… DESU!”

“‘Sigh’. Scratch that. Your annoying shouting is overshadowing any fondness I have for you, Bete.”

Subaru felt the urge to respond to him, one madman to another. He, for the first time in this odd dream world, willed himself to have physical form instead of allowing himself to remain a disembodied consciousness.

“Wow… This is weird to say the least. The feeling of my head coming into existence is quite strange and somehow not uncomfortable.”

The robe-clad man’s normally bulging, reddened eyes - that often threatened to pop right out of their sockets - sharply narrowed at a spot in the darkness. His eyelids snapping nearly shut with the power of his squinting, Petelgeuse saw an irregularity before him; something that, much like he just had, was beginning to assert itself within the darkness. An unnaturally large smile growing on his face, he hurried over to said anomaly with a rather comical run, placing his ear to what was coming to be and raising his hand to listen in closely.

“...ound her love? what do you mean, Bete-san?” the slowly manifesting head croaked out, the soft voice clear in the silence of the void.

Petelgeuse's eyes watered as he spun himself back to where he was standing earlier, snapping himself into a posture that was unnaturally straight. He contorted his body in various ways along to the rhythm of his following reply.

“It honors me so so sosososososososososo MUCH to be referred to as such by someone so DILIGENT, so LOVED, and now sO LOVING… DESU.”

Subaru's consciousness began to falter as his physical form started to fade. He was beginning to feel sleepy.

“quickly. explain, Bete-san. I am…”

Pride was interrupted by Sloth with an understanding smile and the tone of a mother speaking to their exhausted child after a long day at school, “I understand, I understand, I understand, you, who are newly diligent, you will not, can not be so at all times. I understand and leave you with my parting remark…”

He gave an exaggerated, rigid bow that would break the bones of a normal person, saying, “I, Petelgeuse Romanee-Conti, Sin Archbishop of the Witch Cult, representing Sloth,”

He raised his form to face the vanishing head of Subaru.

“Welcome you to our ranks,”

His mouth contorted into a mad smile as Subaru was finally being ripped away from the shadowy place.

“Pride.”

Subaru’s eyes fluttered open slowly, the surrounding light too intense to take in all at once. He squinted, halting the opening of his eyes abruptly, the sudden change from shadow and darkness to blinding light too much to handle.

“But I didn't even have eyes there… why do they need to adjust?”

He felt a soft comfort under his head that was superior to a normal pillow but inferior to his Emilia-tan's thighs, both by wide margins. He looked straight up to see the face of his contracted spirit trying her best to not blush. It was not working. He loved it. 

“Beako…?” he mumbled, still slightly dazed.

She looked down at the mention of her name, her feelings of relief quickly becoming ridden with embarrassment once more.Subaru turned his head slightly to notice that he was, in fact, sleeping on the little girl's lap. Before he could form an adequate teasing remark, she spoke, “B-betty is not doing this because she wants to, I suppose. Betty is merely fulfilling her contractor's wishes, in fact. Betty's Subaru kept repeating the words ‘lap pillow’, among other things, in his sleep, I suppose.”

The tracksuit-clad man raised his body off of hers, his whole body aching as he brought himself to a sitting position. He numbly raised his arms, rubbing his eyes before turning to Beatrice, who was clearly trying her best to not meet his gaze. Suppressing his urge to tease her in that moment and ignoring the lingering soreness of his muscles, he reached his hand out to her and patted her on the head.

“You're adorable, Beako. And you're the only person I'll ever let give me a lap pillow besides my beloved Emilia-tan. I love you.”

She seemed embarrassed yet satisfied by the praise and relaxed herself slightly at his touch. Subaru began to look around to note his surroundings.

“So where are we? What time is it?” he asked, still readjusting to reality.

“Has Emilia-tan…”

“EMILIA!” he screamed, suddenly remembering his need to watch over her.

His body filled with adrenaline as he jumped up and onto his feet. Before he could turn and run to the door, Beatrice's stern voice interrupted him, “She's not yet awake, I suppose. I have yet to feel Bubby's presence, in fact.”

He calmed himself as he processed her words, slowly nodding.

“That silly girl is really the first thing on your mind even after all that happened? Betty's contractor needs to reorder his priorities, I suppose.”

He directed a satisfied smirk at her, crossing his arms, saying, “I'll have you know that I have my priorities in working order.”

He began gesturing with his hands, “It goes: Emilia-tan, Beako, gathering information, and then destroying and torturing my enemies.”

She merely sighed at him and shook her head gently, thinking, “Hopeless, I suppose.”

“So what happened while I was knocked out? I remember talking to Petra and then…” he trailed off, beginning to silently recall the events of the dinner. His expression went from a smirk to a frown to a soft smile to a look of pure rage, and then back to a satisfied smirk.

“New order of priorities: Emilia-tan, Beako, killing that infuriating tiger boy, gathering information, and then destroying and torturing my other enemies.”

Sighing, Beatrice replied emotionlessly, already tired of the trouble her contractor was bound to land then in, “The first two are fulfilled to satisfaction while the third is impossible at the moment, I suppose. The one they call ‘Garfiel’ is under the direct care of that disrespectful pink maid, in fact.”

“Note to self: add manipulating/killing Ram and Roswaal to the list where appropriate.” he thought, processing the new information she had just presented him with.

“I wouldn't say ‘to satisfaction’...” he started, visibly anxious about his beloved’s safety.

“...but I guess there's nothing more I can do for Emilia-tan at this point,” he finished, frustrated at his present uselessness.

He placed a hand on his chin and thought aloud for a moment, “How long has it been since dinner? And how much longer until we can see Emilia?”

Beatrice stood from her spot on the floor and lightly brushed her legs. She replied without needing to look at him, “It has been no more than twenty minutes, I suppose. Bubby will likely take approximately an hour to appear, in fact.”

“So I've got some time to kill… what else was there that I've been meaning to do but wasn't high enough priority to bother with before?”

After a silent moment of contemplation, he realized what he wanted to do this evening. He turned to meet Beatrice's gaze, saying, “Beako, do you know where we can find Meili? She's this little assassin girl that is imprisoned somewhere in the mansion.”

Without question, Beatrice closed her eyes for a moment and muttered something under her breath. She opened them again and said, “This mansion is an exact copy of the previous one with a single exception, I suppose.”

“And that would be?”

“There is a structure underneath it.”

At these words, his lips contorted into a manic and rather mad smile, his nasty eyes widening as he thought, “I hope it's a dungeon. I really really hope it's a dungeon.”

His head hurt, like a lot. Which was surprising because even after his daily sparring sessions with the Sword Saint himself, his head never hurt this much.

“Garf. You're finally awake. I thought you were going to spend the rest of your days being a useless bed-ridden weight on Roswaal-sama's finances after what happened to you,” a voice said, filled with its usual venom.

Garfiel instantly recognized it. It was loaded with concern that was masked by an incredible amount of feigned hostility. And only the voice of the one he cared for in that way fit that description. He turned to face her.

“Ram…” he said, his voice hoarse and its volume as loud as a whisper.

She was sitting in a chair at the nearby desk, doing some paperwork. She had paused it to look over at her awakening companion.

“If you're good enough to speak, you're good enough to get up and out of my bed and off to your own,” she said before turning her head back to the desk, continuing to fill out the paperwork.

“Yer… bed?” he muttered, confused.

Garfiel looked down at the sheets and felt a sense of embarrassment, thinking, “Did we…?”

Having predicted his reaction, Ram spoke without either stopping her work or looking up at him, “Search your memories for an explanation. You lost a fight that Ram told you not to engage in. Daily. For the past two years. You really are useless, Garf.”

He thought back to the events of his day. It was largely normal and uneventful. Sparring, training, eating… and then he remembered the events of the dinner. He filled with a mix of shame, rage, and a desire, or rather a need, for revenge.

Jumping out of bed, Garfiel muttered to himself as he marched towards the door, “Lucky bastard got a cheap shot. My amazin' self'll show him what it means to-”

Ram, still doing paperwork, thrust her spare arm, wand in hand, backwards at him, saying, “Roswaal-sama ordered that you were to not engage Baru- Subaru-sama... and Ram agrees. It took the cooperation of my beautiful self and his contracted spirit to restrain him. If you were to pursue him alone while he has his spirit's support, you will most certainly get yourself killed.”

“HA! Ya think he could kill my amazin' self?” he shot back, a confident smirk growing on his face.

At this, she snapped her head towards him, her other arm still writing line after line upon the document, “He was a moment away from doing so before our timely intervention. You should be on your hands and knees thanking Ram with all your heart for saving your life.”

The seriousness of her declaration taking him by surprise, Garfiel suddenly stopped what he was doing, his smirk vanishing. For the briefest of moments, the pair’s gazes locked and the room fell silent, the only noise piercing the tension being the sound of their breathing. His cyan eyes were now uncertain and weak when faced with Ram’s determined crimson ones, his once steady breaths slowly becoming uneven and erratic. With the oni maid’s eyes filling the whole of his attention, Ram unceremoniously turned back to her paperwork. Her wand hand still pointed at him but the effect of her glare lingering in the demihuman’s mind was what truly kept him as still as a statue. 

Held in place by the gravity of Ram’s words and behavior, Garfiel carefully considered what he remembered and what he had been told, becoming deeply lost in thought. The strength Subaru used against him had felt unnatural to say the least, and the demihuman instinctively knew the nasty eyed boy’s rage against Garfiel was also out of character. In fact, now that he gave it some serious thinking, he came to realise that it was not only Subaru that was acting strangely. Both that creepy bastard Roswaal and the Sword Saint too fell off somehow, as if something had changed right under Garfiel’s nose. And he didn’t like that. He didn’t like that one bit.

As he was about to start drawing some conclusions, his teeth gritting at the unpleasant thoughts, the oni finished her paperwork and stood up from her chair, giving her full attention to the tiger boy.

“Surely, even with your meager intelligence, you've realized by now that what happened today was not a normal occurrence,” she said, leveling her sights onto his once again. But this time, Garfiel did not falter. He looked into her eyes and nodded, a shaky determination filling the demihuman.

“Many of the mansion's occupants have been acting strangely since yesterday afternoon: Roswaal-sama seems less confident and more anxious than ever, Reinhard-sama somehow did not even register a fight was going on around him at dinner, Beatrice-sama is out of the library and by Barusu's side, and Barusu is, well, like a completely different person,” she stated, her almost bored, conversational tone contrasting heavily with the gravity of what she had said.

For a short time, Ram allowed her words to sink into Garfiel's head before she continued, her wand hand now lowered and brought to her side, “Roswaal-sama asked him a question when he arrived for dinner yesterday. He asked, ‘Could it be that you are not truly Natsuki Subaru?’”

Garfiel's eyes widened at this revelation, the shock clear on his face, his tough brooding persona long since abandoned. Noting this, Ram crossed her arms, her eyes still locked with his, and said, “Ram does not know the truth of this situation and even Roswaal-sama is acting strange.”

She regarded him with an unexpected intensity, as if only now taking this conversation seriously. Garfiel could almost feel her analytical glare read him like a book as she continued, “Garf, your simple minded nature is the only one beside my own elegant nature that has remained entirely unchanged.”

Realizing where she was getting at, Garfiel asked the question he now assumed Ram had set up this entire conversation for, ”Ya want t' work t'gether t' figure out what's goin' on?”

In response, Ram spouted her trademark ‘ha’, turning her head slightly in the process, before returning her gaze to his and saying, “Yet again, you think too highly of yourself, Garf. Ram simply wants you to serve as her pawn in this game against an unknown opponent. Perhaps you’ll finally be a useful shield for once.”

Garfiel sighed and nodded at her, wishing she could just be honestly nice for once. He was no idiot but he trusted Ram's instincts. He'd go along with what she said, for now.

“My amazin' self will do as ya say as long as I get t' tear em limb from limb,” he declared, his rage and shock having transformed themselves into determination. Garfiel smiled, for he had finally found something to guard against: a threat to which he would act as a shield once more.

Chapter Text

“Vita, I suppose.”

Subaru felt himself become substantially heavier to the point where walking was difficult.

“Murak, in fact.”

All of the extra weight vanished, along with a sizable portion of his normal weight. 

“Wow, I’m as light as a feather,” Subaru thought, literally being as light as a feather at that moment.

“Why didn't you show me this stuff when you were explaining your powers, Beako?” he said, turning his head to his almost bored partner.

With a wave of her hand, the spell was undone and Subaru felt normal once again. As he readjusted to the sensation of standard gravity, Beatrice replied, crossing her arms, “You were too focused on that silly girl, I suppose.”

She developed a smug look on her face, a mischievous gleam in her eyes, “And I did end up showing you both of these spells, in fact.”

Subaru, initially confused by the statement, thought back for a moment, combing through his memories of the past day and a half. 

“I contracted, talked to Emilia, took a nap, went to the dining room and-”

Subaru remembered the odd battle in the dining room, specifically its abrupt conclusion, a sour expression coming to him at the still rage-inducing experience. 

A moment later, his frown shifted to a mad smile. He returned his attention to the still smug girl beside him, the mischief in his own eyes much more powerful than in hers, and said, “You know Beako, using magic on me like that without my consent is reeeally bad, even if it was for my benefit.”

Beatrice’s superior attitude crumbled to pieces at his admonishment; whatever smirk that had taken hold of her face was quickly replaced with a look of abject horror. She suppressed her urge to cry, the whiplash of the sudden change in mood making it especially difficult, as she stammered out, “B-but Betty was just-”

“Ah, ah, ah, Beako. You must now be given the proper punishment for doing a good yet bad deed,” Subaru said, almost teasingly, cutting the spirit girl off and ceasing his walking, clearly underestimating the weight his words had just had on her.

Reflexively, Beatrice made an audible gulp, Subaru quickly approaching her, his hands raised and fingers extended.

“Tickle Torture!” he declared, pure elation in his tone, and pounced on the mentally unprepared little girl. This was an action to which Beatrice - who was unaware of Chris Hansen’s existence - could only yelp in response.

For the following five or so minutes, the sounds of the dignified great spirit of the library's unrestrained laughter rang through the empty halls as she tried and failed to resist Subaru's expert tickle technique, “AHAHAHA- St- AHAHAHA Ple-AAHAHAHAH”

“Don't you underestimate me Beatrice! I am the best there is at what I do!” he said, thinking, “I even once managed to tickle a man to death. Sure, it took like over a dozen tries but I eventually got the skill downpat after that.”

After some time, Subaru relented, leaving Beatrice a heaving and laughing mess on the floor, “Betty is huff huff still not sorry, I suppose.”

He squatted by her side and placed a gentle hand on her head, saying, “You have nothing to be actually sorry for. I just wanted to tease you, Beako.”

“Betty's Subaru huff huff is huff truly hopeless, in fact,” she stated with a sliver of her usual confidence, laying her head back against the floor. 

Smiling softly at the look of satisfaction on his contracted spirit’s face, Subaru picked up the exhausted girl into a bridal carry and turned to continue down the hall. He was met by an individual he'd never seen before.

“Ah. Subaru-sama! I came to inspect what was making all that noise but it seems you have already taken care of it,” the figure said, a tone of surprise and exasperation in her voice. Subaru assumed it was likely from the change in Beatrice's behavior but could not know for sure. The part of the hallway she stood in was dark and he could barely see the outline of the strange figure he now assumed was an unidentified maid, let alone their facial expression or body language.

“Umm, I can't see very well in this lighting and my ears are a little shot after all that. Would you mind identifying yourself? Sorry for the trouble,” Subaru requested, putting on as much of a polite facade as he could manage.

The woman stepped closer and walked in front of one of the hallway's many windows, illuminating her with the gentle moonlight. She was a rather tall but otherwise unassuming woman with bright blonde hair, her bust fitting nicely in the maid’s outfit she wore. Subaru's eyes slightly widened when he saw her incredibly sharp teeth, but he quickly returned to his previous neutral expression. 

The woman - who Subaru’s mind had immediately labeled the ‘Yellow Maid’ - took an apologetic bow, saying, “I am sorry to have surprised you, Subaru-sama. Hopefully you can tell who I am now considering the lighting.”

“Still have no idea who she is,” Subaru thought before quickly saying, “No problem, no problem…”

He trailed off, trying and failing to find some arbitrary topic to shift the conversation to. Fortunately for the tracksuit-clad man, the Yellow Maid seemed to have suddenly remembered something important, much to Subaru's relief.

“Subaru-sama, I've just remembered, I've been looking for you to ask whether you intend to continue visiting Meili-chan,” she stated, the air of genteel formality about her serving to relax him.

“You've never not visited her with the exception of when you've been away so I wanted to know if there was a change I was not made aware of,” she concluded, her tone neither too forceful nor too gentle. Compared to how Petra brought up the subject, the Yellow Maid seemed almost casual about the mansion’s prisoner. 

“What a polite, normal, and well-mannered maid,” Subaru thought, frankly impressed by the skill she demonstrated in this singular interaction, “She seems to lack Ram's disrespect and Petra's ditzy nature. I wonder what her name is.”

“Actually, I was just on my way to go see her tonight. Yesterday was slightly hectic for me so it slipped my mind,” he replied after a moment of thinking, hoping his answer would be one Natsuki Subaru would give.

Despite his best efforts, the Yellow Maid seemed ever so slightly shocked by that last sentence to the point where her mouth gaped slightly and she instinctively covered it with her hand. However, her composure promptly returned as she responded, “Of course, Subaru-sama. Right this way.”

The pair, or trio if you count Beatrice's unmoving form in Subaru's arms, made their way through the halls largely in silence. Eventually, they arrived at a peculiar hallway that seemed to be the entrance to a spiral staircase downwards.

“I don't know why, but that place is giving me the worst fucking vibes. But it's weirdly familiar… Is this an effect of Meili's presence?”  

As they walked down the cold stone stairs, the silence was broken with a question from the maid who turned her head to face Subaru. Before she spoke, Subaru thought, getting a good look at her face, “Her green eyes are surprisingly quite pretty even if her teeth are slightly terrifying.”

“I don't mean to pry, Subaru-sama, and forgive me if I am asking too much of you, but may I ask why you're holding a sleeping Beatrice-sama in your arms?” she asked, as polite in her tone and phrasing as ever.

Beatrice was, in fact, silent and content to rest in Subaru's arms. She was not, however, asleep. She just did not want to have to talk to the stranger, leaving her contractor to come up with some sort of explanation.

“Ah... Well, you see…”

“I don't really see a reason to lie to her to be honest.”

“We've made up recently... and she's my contracted spirit,” he said after some quick thinking. To this, the maid's eyes widened but, as usual, her composure quickly returned to her.

“It's a long story…” he elaborated, smiling somewhat sheepishly at the obviously shocked maid.

“I… see. Thank you for indulging me, Subaru-sama.”

The rest of their journey was silent. They walked down the stairs for quite some time before entering an underground passageway made of stone. There was an iron door with several locks obstructing their way.

Wordlessly, the maid unlocked and opened the door with a trained speed and precision. She stepped aside and held it open for him.

“Seems I rarely take her along, then. A pity.”

Subaru nodded at her and walked deeper into the cold stone hall. He heard the iron door behind him shut but paid it no mind.

“Worst comes to worst, Beako can probably break the thing open.”

With the door closed, Beatrice opened her eyes and gave Subaru a little tug. He took the hint and put her down on the floor. They held hands as they continued.

“The vibe in this place is exactly right for my ideal dungeon but there's just not enough space here. We really need to install a few torture chambers. I've got some great ideas for when we finally capture Capella.”

His manic smile returned as he fantasized about his very brutal and very graphic revenge plan. Beatrice, on the other hand, was staring at her contractor - who seemed to be on the verge of an evil laugh - with trepidation.

“Betty does not hate that face on Subaru, I suppose. Betty simply finds it concerning. If Betty's Subaru will walk through hell, Betty will follow him, I suppose. Of course, Betty will try her hardest to avoid such a thing. But Betty will not abandon her contractor even if he becomes a true madman, I suppose.”

All doubts and fears left her mind and her anxious look shifted to one of determination.

“Betty could never do such a thing, in fact. Not after you gave Betty’s life purpose once more.”

Subaru and Beatrice stood before another door, this time not nearly as sturdy nor having any locks. They turned their gazes towards each other, nodded, and Subaru opened it up.

“Rawwwrrr, I will kill you!” a childish voice declared, clearly lowered down an uneven octave.

“Ah, no, please spare me!” the same voice replied, raised up just as much as it was lowered previously

“No way, you're my food now!” the voice yet again declared, returning to its original lower pitch.

Subaru, beyond the open door, saw something unexpected on several levels.

First, the cold, dark, damp, stone torture room he was prepared for was, in fact, more reminiscent of a children's play area than anything else. There were bright, vibrant colors ranging from pastel pinks to sky blues adorning the walls as well as dozens of handmade yet seemingly expertly crafted dolls littering the floor.

“Did you make those, other me? How the fuck did you get the stitching so damn accurate? What kind of magical sewing powers did you have?”

Second, the prisoner held in this joke of a torture room was, as expected, a familiar little girl with braided violet hair. But, unexpectedly, she had a bright smile on her face and was playing with a variety of dolls from stuffed animals to comically proportioned humans.

“She looks so… happy. And not that twisted happiness I always saw in her. It's almost… pure, in a way, even if she's playing a make believe game about death and torture.”

As his mind took a moment to process the situation he had now found himself in, the young girl looked up at him.

“O-onii-san?! You really need to learn to knock!” she stammered out, a blush coming to her face as she hid her toys behind her, her voice being its normal pitch again.

At the bizarre sight, Subaru couldn’t help but laugh. It was not his mad laugh at Reinhard loops ago, nor his cathartic laughter with Beatrice yesterday. He laughed a genuinely happy laugh, placing a hand on his face. It was only slightly more than a chuckle, but it made all the difference to him.

“Onii-san?” she muttered, her blush vanishing as shock filled her expression.

Meili was incredibly confused about this development as she had never seen Subaru laugh genuinely before in her entire time confined here. In fact, she had never seen him show a single true emotion for the past two years, not since her short time staying at Arlam Village. Meili appreciated his attempts at friendliness, but she knew a mask when she saw one and never really warmed up to Subaru. But now…

“Did you finally lose it, Onii-san?” she asked, genuinely curious.

His laughter died down and he genuinely beamed at her, saying, “Meili, I lost it many years ago... but I think that this place is giving it back to me, one piece at a time.”

She tilted her head at his rather cryptic answer and placed a finger on her chin. She thought for a moment before replying, “Are you really Onii-san? You look too alive to be him.”

Leaving the ignored Beatrice behind, he walked up to Meili and placed a hand on her head. She flinched at the action but did not resist.

“Yes and no, Meili. Maybe someday I'll tell you the full story, but for now…”

He lowered himself to her level and met her gaze, saying, “I want to see if you're interested in taking jobs again.”

She regarded him skeptically, not believing him for a second.

“That won't work again, Onii-san,” she said, averting her gaze, crossing her arms, and pouting.

“I still haven't forgotten when you said that before and then gave me fake jobs,” she continued, her voice close to being the spiteful muttering Subaru was used to from her.

“Natsuki Subaru, you're amazing at sewing but shit at child care. Just like Todd. Well, Todd would also likely be god awful at sewing. Fucking Todd,” he thought before shaking off the intrusive thoughts of his long-lost knife.

Subaru sighed at her, adding a trill to his voice as he motioned to get up and leave, “I was serious, Meili, but I guess you can just stay down here if you really want…”

She eyed him cautiously, still pouting.

“What's the job?” she asked after a moment, her voice quiet and cautious.

“I don't have a specific one at the moment. I just wanted to see if you were interested,” Subaru answered, earning an even deeper pout from Meili.

“And, frankly, I just wanted to see you again. I missed you, Meili,” he said, quickly pulling her into a hug. 

His mind flashed back to a burning capital, to the dead littering the streets, to the lifeless Meili in his arms.

“She's alive. I can feel her warmth. I didn't sacrifice her here. I didn't wrong her here.”

She put up resistance to his hug but Subaru would not budge. Still struggling, she thought, “Jeez, Onii-san… what is with you? Yesterday, you don't show up and today you're a totally different person.”

The forgotten spirit girl made her presence known and spoke up, interrupting the pair, “Are you quite done, I suppose?”

Subaru released her and turned to his partner, still smiling, “What's up Beako? Don't tell me you're jealous. Don't worry, my darling Beako is still my number one lol-”

He had been inching towards her, his arms wide for a hug, but stopped when he saw the serious look on her face. He immediately shifted his to match, saying, “Beako? What's wrong?”

“I can sense Bubby's presence now, in fact. We should hurry if you want to see that silly girl before she cries herself to sleep, I suppose. Or worse, in fact,” Beatrice said, her tone even more grim with her final words. 

With intensity and determination in his eyes, Subaru immediately hoisted Beatrice up by the waist with one arm and grabbed the still open door's handle with his other. Without pause, he turned towards the surprised and embarrassed Meili, a haphazard smile thrown on his face, saying, “Sorry about this, Meili. We'll discuss killing Capella next time!”

Meili's eyes widened at the mention of Mama's true name, but she didn't have a chance to respond as Subaru slammed the door shut and sprinted down the hall.

Making it to the closed iron door, he knocked on it with a slightly panicked cadence. It opened promptly and the still waiting maid looked at him with confusion that then shifted to shock.

“Sorry about this, but I just remembered something really important! I'll see you later!” he said with haste, bolting past her and running up the stairs.

“Murak, I suppose.”

He felt himself become nearly weightless, making his frantic running far easier on his body.

“Thanks, Beako! You're the best!”

Sprinting through the halls at top speed, Subaru had yet to encounter anyone else on his way to Emilia. Even without interruption, it still took him several minutes to navigate his way back to his room. Turning a corner, he stood only twenty or so meters away from his destination. He scowled when he saw that Reinhard stood between him and his goal.

Reinhard, hearing Subaru's heavy breathing, turned around to see his comrade and said, “Ah, Subaru. I've been looking all over for you. I was about to check your ro-”

“As much as I'd love to sit and chat, I've got bigger fish to fry Sword Saint,” Subaru shot back, cutting the knight off and dismissing him out of hand.

Reinhard, frankly, was stunned by Subaru's response. Such a frantic, emotional reply was the last thing he expected from his… comrade. Even when they faced the archbishops of the Witch Cult, Subaru had never seemed so… panicked.

Subaru ran past him and towards the door after his biting reply. In response, foregoing his usual self-deprecating thoughts, Reinhard placed a hand on his spare sword and shot his comrade a serious question, “Do you require any assistance?”

Subaru turned to Reinhard as he reached for the door handle, a smile haphazardly forced on his face yet again, “Just keep your pretty self right there and I'll be back in a bit!”

Not waiting for the Sword Saint to respond, Subaru flung the door open and dashed right in, only to be met by freezing cold. Beatrice still in his grasp, Subaru pushed forward, raising his sights to see Emilia sitting alone on the bed, slowly encasing herself in a cocoon of ice.

Chapter Text

A world of ice and wind. A forest of frost. Cold. Cold in body and mind.

“Emilia!”

With the now familiar call of a forgotten voice, the half-elf shot up out of bed in a cold sweat. It was a feeling she was used to; it was one which she had experienced many times over... for the past two years.

“You had another scary dream, huh?” an adrogynous voice asked, calm and comforting in his tone.

Her body tensed at the sound of it; Emilia did not notice the sadness that underlined his words. She cautiously lifted her sights and saw someone so dear to her who'd been gone for far too long. She couldn't believe her eyes.

“Puck...?” she muttered, more to herself than to the figure before her.

Emilia hesitantly reached her hand out to stroke his soft fur, scared that she's just seeing things. But touching him, feeling the warmth of his smaller than usual form, brought a sense of both relief and trepidation to her. She'd only had nightmares for the past two years so her immediate conclusion was that this was just the gentle start of another harsh delusion.

“I guess after so long, it's only natural you'd want to pet me one last time,” he said, trying his best to maintain his usual upbeat mood. However, his tone was sunken, merely a depressing echo of what he once had. All he could convey was his melancholy that worsened with every second he spent in her presence.

Too shocked to notice, Emilia pinched her own cheek with her spare hand as she processed his words, “ It's not a dream…?”

“Lia…” 

Her eyes widened at the familiar call of her name and a heat gathered in them.

“It's not a dream…” she said, bringing the spirit close to her chest, a shaky smile on her face.

“It's not a dream… It's not a dream… you're…”

Fresh tears of joy poured from her eyes, cleansing her face of the sad ones born of her nightmares and washing away the emotions of sadness and anxiety that had stuck to her like a parasite since the day he left. For the first time in many, many lonesome nights, Emilia finally felt her heart unencumbered and free. It was as if she had been drowning for years, the sight of her beloved contracted spirit being the moment she had finally broken past the water’s surface and taken a breath of the fresh, cold air.

“You're really here, Puck… you've been gone for so long… I was worried you'd-”

She felt him gently break free from their embrace, cutting her off. The warmth in her eyes grew cold as she finally noticed Puck's saddened expressio, the freedom her heart had longed for now slipping out of her grasp.

“Lia… I'm sorry but… I'm breaking our contact…”

.

.

.

Surprise. Betrayal. A hint of rage. Emilia felt each of these and so much more crash into her simultaneously, all serving to weigh down her heart once more, all serving to pull her back down to drown. 

But she wasn’t even given a proper chance to process the barrage of emotions she now found herself lost in. Puck's form started to dissipate as fast as it had reappeared. 

“Puck! I don't understand... You said y-you'd stand by my side and protect me!” she pleaded, more desperate than she had ever been before. She tried grabbing hold of him once more, only for her hands to glide through Puck’s nearly transparent body without resistance.

Tears. A waterfall of tears swept away her false hope and her stolen joy alike. Crying was all she could do now. She hated with all her being that this was no dream. Tears of elation melted into salty bitterness; her heart slowly broke under the weight of her despair as the being she trusted the most had quite literally quit on her. 

“You… you said you'd… ‘Be with me forever’” she repeated his words, desperate to keep him with her. But it was to no avail. The green crystal on her chest cracked and shattered along with her already beaten and bruised heart. Shards of emerald dropped into her pale shaking palms; she grasped the fragments of hopeful green in her hand with all her might, only to stain them stained in a cruel crimson. 

“Lia…” he started once more, unsure as to what he could possibly say to sooth her now, what words could mend- no, even ease the pain of her broken spirit.

Emilia dropped her head into her knees, balling herself up on the bed. She grasped her own shaking shoulders, allowing the worthless green shards to fall away. Wanting nothing more than to push away everything, she clutched her own arms tight, hard enough to make her bleed, but her lesser spirits healed her before the crimson liquid could taint the white of her dress, having already mended the cuts on her palms. 

But this did not make Emilia feel any better. In fact, she felt nothing but utter despair running through her veins, the pain of her wounds no longer serving as a distraction from her sadness. She simply wanted to hide from the cruel, cruel world and cry until everything went away. 

And so, her mouth could only form the one word that held any weight to her anymore. A word she truly despised, yet a word that fit so perfectly and terribly. 

“Liar…”

That single word hurt Puck; it hurt him in a way nothing else ever could or ever would. He’d always thought that seeing her die was the worst thing he could imagine. But no, seeing his Lia so sad and alone while he was powerless to help her was somehow worse. And it was no imagined nightmare, but rather a grim reality that he himself caused.

Pushing all his regrets and sadness down for Lia’s sake, Puck floated close to her hidden head and moved to lightly pat it, saying, “The seal on your memories will be lifted with this. It'll be sad, sadder than ever but-”

She shot back up and moved away from his touch, unconcerned with his words, shouting, “LIAR! YOU'RE A LIAR, PUCK!”

Just as quickly as her rage flared up, it had dissipated back into her underlying sorrow. She returned to wallowing in despair, head sunk into her knees, unable to keep fighting and pushing against the bitter truth.

“I… I thought I could… could trust you…” she said between sobs. She was no longer able to compose herself, let alone look at the one who claimed the title of ‘Father’.

“Lia…” he started, rare tears starting to form in his own eyes.

Her voice strengthened for just a moment; her tears held back for just three words, “I was wrong.”

The spirit's heart ached terribly. If her previous words hurt, these mortally wounded him. Barely holding himself together, he left one last message to her before disappearing, “I love you, Emilia. And... I'm sorry. I hope… I know that the one who I leave you to will treat you better… love you better.”

His body shone brightly for a moment before dissipating into nothing. She only had one word to say to the space Puck had been in just a moment ago: "Liar."

The room around her began to encase with frost as she continued to sob.

Truly, Emilia had never felt more alone.

Subaru fired his well seasoned strategist’s mind up, setting it to work, having laid eyes upon the emerging crisis before him. In only a few seconds, he had processed the situation and developed a plan of attack; his thoughts ran at lightning speed.

“Ice won't stop for shit unless I talk to her. Gotta break through. But it'll spread. And Reinhard's a cunt, fuck that guy. Focus, Subaru, focus. I can punch through using momentum. Have Beako keep everything else away.”

He released his grasp on his partner and spoke to her in a rushed yet calm tone, “Beako, hold the mana within a barrier around the room. Stop Reinhard's interference. Play support with Vita.”

The instant he finished speaking, he ran forward as soon as he could, meeting the cold winds head-on.

Being left behind, all Beatrice could say was, “Understood, in fact.”

He felt his run slow to a crawl, his footing weakening against the increasingly icy floor.

“Fuck, this isn't working. Tools: Beako - occupied, Reinhard - cunt, Emilia - problem. Think, Subaru, think.”

Nearing the end of his rope, before he even considered relying on the Sword Saint, a crazed voice echoed through his mind: " ...Welcome you to our ranks, Pride."

His thinking face grew mad as he felt a creeping, slithering sensation within himself once again.

“Tool: Authority of Sloth - Cooler Name than Unseen Hand pending.”

Black appendages overlapped with his legs and arms, strengthening them greatly. But it wasn't enough.

“Ice is still too damn slippery, need better leverage. Or different approach.”

He redirected the appendages over his arms to grab a hold of the ground in front of him. He leaned back slightly, bending his knees and tensing his unseen limbs. A powerful tension built in the shadows.

“Bungee Gum has the properties of both rubber and gu- fucking intrusive thoughts again.”

He kicked back against the ground with his Unseen Feet, hard, and used the built tension in the Unseen Tethers in front of him to propel himself forward. The powerful gale slowed him substantially, but he still managed to fling himself right towards the bed and the sealed block of ice that lay upon it.

The wind grew in strength as he approached, forcing him to redirect all his appendages to latching onto various parts of the bed. He grasped the shadow-black limbs, noting how they felt incredibly strange yet oddly familiar, and dragged his body up to his target.

“So the shadows are sometimes rigid and sometimes stretchy? What a weird fucking power.”

He used his Authority to ground himself in front of the icy structure and pulled his arm back, ready for a punch.

“BEAKO!” he shouted, not even turning to look back across the room at his partner, trusting in her completely.

Subaru put all the power left that he could muster from his odd ability into reinforcing his arm. His fist a few centimeters away from the ice, a familiar voice rang out, “Ul Vita, I suppose.”

His body, already strained from his spamming of the Authority of Sloth, felt like absolute shit once the spell was cast. His organs felt like lead and his body felt like it had been teleported straight into the Mariana Trench.

But his plan worked. The cocoon, which had been growing since he had entered the room, shattered like glass before his fist.

Barely maintaining his balance in the face of his arm’s momentum, Subaru attempted to steady himself. His body, however, disagreed with this plan of action. Despite this, through sheer force of will, Subaru brought himself up to a standing albeit shaky position. He spat up some blood in his moment of triumph, thinking, “Fist King ain't got shit on me. Also, Note to self: Avoid using Authorities whenever possible - hurts like hell.”

Beyond the dissipating shards of ice, Subaru saw before him a cowering woman, uncaring towards the world around her, muttering scarily familiar words to herself, “Liar, Liar, Liar, Liar…”

Without a second's hesitation, Subaru dispelled the appendages in his arm and felt the gravity magic subside. He yelled at the top of his lungs, the pain across his body spiking, “EMILIA-TAN!”

The wind and frost stopped but did not vanish. The particles of snow and ice remained suspended in the air, motionless. It was as if time itself had stopped.

The half-elf shifted her gaze up to meet the voice that called her name.

“Su-baru?”

“Do not bother Betty's contractor, I suppose. He will be beyond upset with you if you do, in fact.”

Reinhard did not know what to make of this… odd situation. He was standing in the back of the room, hand still on his spare blade, desperately wanting to assist his friend. And yet, the great spirit that stood about a meter to his left insisted that he should not interfere.

“But why? Great Spirit-sama, did you not see him cough up blood just now?” he said, gesturing to the dramatic scene before them.

His attention had shifted towards the suffering his friend endured rather than lingering on whatever the hell happened prior to that. The Sword Saint could not make heads nor tails of why Subaru flew towards the bed all of a sudden, how he dragged himself towards Emilia while grabbing some invisible rope, and how he managed to break through the incredibly mana-dense ice before him. Even with all the strange powers of the great spirit he was contracted with, doing all of that should have been completely impossible for Subaru, or anyone really.

And so, Reinhard elected to file it under ‘I don't deserve to know/could never understand’ along with Subaru's strange guilt and sudden hatred towards the knight. They were all questions for later.

“Do not underestimate Betty's Subaru, I suppose. He will handle this situation excellently, in fact,” Beatrice declared, seeming almost smug despite the concern plain on her face.

“So he doesn't need me anymore? I'm just a useless tool to him after all? Even in his most desperate moment, when he's most in need, he insists that he can do it all without me. Am I a burden? I am a burden aren't I. I'm so worthl-”

Sighing, Beatrice cut off the knight’s obvious negative train of thought and said, “You need to stop thinking so hard, in fact. Just watch and see Betty's Subaru at work, I suppose. Perhaps you'll find some answers that way.”

Heeding her advice, he turned off the analytical part of his brain and dedicated the whole of his mind to committing the following events to his memory as best as he could.

And since this is Reinhard we're talking about, he'd memorize it perfectly.

Within Emilia’s mind, a powerful, raging storm even stronger than that she had conjured around her filled her every thought. Flashes of memories played over and over in her head - terrible scenes and fragments of a past she could not come to terms with - as her own identity veered on the brink of shattering.

“Liar, Liar, Liar, Liar, Liar…”

The words she repeated over and over were not only directed at the Father who'd abandoned her, but also to the world itself. The past flooding her head shouldn't be true, can't be true. She couldn't be responsible, can't be responsible.

The pain she had felt for the past two years at every recollection of a forbidden thought was nothing compared to the agony of the truth, to the anguish she found herself in now. 

“It can't be true. I couldn't have frozen them. I couldn't have killed Mother Fortuna-”

She couldn't take it. She couldn't bear with the overwhelming guilt and confusion she was drowning in. And so, she clung to the last thing that she could. She clung to the hopeful fantasy that it was all a lie; that it was all a terrible, terrible nightmare.

“Liar, Liar, Liar, Liar-”

“EMILIA-TAN!”

The swirling storm in her mind paused, her confused and desperate thoughts did not vanish but stood in place. She looked up at the voice which had called her name with a greater passion and desperation than even she found in herself.

“Su-baru?”

His eyes, his mean yet gentle eyes that she adored so much. The eyes that brought nothing but comfort to her tortured soul. They were ablaze with madness, with unbearable pain, with concern, with confusion, and, most of all, with love.

He reached his shaking arms out and pulled her close, kneeling before her. She could feel his trembling and weakness through their hug. It was clear that he was on the verge of collapse as he spoke, “I love you, Emilia. I love you so, please, tell me what's wrong. Let me protect you when you feel scared or sad. When the world is against you, I'm here for you.”

His words, designed to be comforting, instead brought forth a memory in her mind. They were reminiscent of her former contracted spirit's first words to her: “I'm a spirit meant just for you. When you're scared, when you're sad… I'll protect you.”

“liar”

His grip on her lightened.

“Emilia-tan?”

There was fear in his voice.

“Liar. Liar! LIAR!”

The winds returned, the moment of time unfrozen. The man before her's words from earlier that day echoed through her mind, “The thing is… I'm not your Subaru.”

She cast off his embrace and shoved him back, screaming, “LIAR! YOU COULDN'T EVER LOVE SOMEONE LIKE ME! YOU COULDN'T EVER LOVE SOMEONE AS TERRIBLE AS MYSELF! YOU'LL LEAVE ME LIKE PUCK! LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD!”

Her voice was shaking with a pained rage. All her frustrations with herself and her own inadequacies laid plain in her tone and words. Everyone in the world, including herself, was her enemy.

Buffeted by the wind once again, Subaru forced himself to think through the shock and pain, “Fuck, this is not good.”

There was nothing he could do, even think to do. He was a madman, an insane murder, and a bringer of nothing but torment to those around him.

“Think, Subaru, think!”

So, again, he reached for his other self. His other self who is both so much better and so much worse. His other self who learned to take on their pain and who vowed to save them all.

“What would you do, Natsuki Subaru? How would you save her? How would you stand by her side?”

And then he realized it. He knelt there on the verge of freezing to death in silent, agonizing pain and realized his other self's mistake, Natsuki Subaru's greatest mistake.

He brought his weakened body up to stand, ignoring the fact he could no longer feel most of it, and called out to his beloved, “Emilia!”

His lungs were cold, his throat was cold, his every organ was freezing... and yet he continued, “Please... help me!”

The winds stopped again. She regarded him with confusion that quickly shifted to shock as she saw the state he was in.

“You always stood by her side but…”

Blood covered his lower mouth and jaw, he was trembling terribly, large swaths of his skin had gone bluish-purple, and he appeared to be on the verge of collapse if not death.

“She never stood by yours.”

Despite his pain laid plain, he stood tall as he declared, “My name is Natsuki Subaru. And I'm a greedy, prideful bastard who wants even someone as incompetent and insufferable as you by my side.”

She just couldn't understand. There was no reason she could think anyone would want to be with her now. The person who loved her most had abandoned her and returned to her just to hurt her more. And she deserved it. So...

“Why? When I've hurt you so much… When I've done nothing but make you suffer… When you've done so, so much for me and received nothing in return… Why?”

His every facade shattered and fell away. His every mask was tossed aside. Before Emilia, he showed his genuine, true self to another person for the first time since he was an infant.

“Because I love you… and…”

In that moment of genuine desperation, in that moment where all his raw emotions laid bare for her to see, Subaru's next words came directly from the deepest part of his Od. They slipped through the cracks of his Pride, his Determination, his years of Suffering. They were old, true words that lingered, hidden within him since he came to this timeline. Or rather, since he came to Lugunica to begin with. No, from even further back, from his sad, lonely, unfulfilled life back home in Japan.

And so he spoke, yelled, and screamed his truest desire from that place deep down within him: 

“I WANT MY FUCKING HAPPY ENDING ALREADY!”

The suspended particles shone brightly and vanished into the air. The gale disappeared in an instant. Emilia had been left speechless.

“There's a goddamn storm in my head that's been raging ever since I got to this godforsaken place. And I don't know what to even do anymore,” he said, clenching his shaking hands into fists.

“Emilia… There might be a storm in your head too... but you don't have to trek through it alone. If you're standing in a raging river of madness, at least let me hold your hand as you walk through it,” he continued, his voice shaking but his words standing as strong as steel in the half-elf's mind.

“Believe me, Emilia, I've been stuck in that place before and, even now, I feel like I'm still there... You shouldn't have to do it alone. I-”

He instinctively paused to hesitate. On reflex, he stopped himself from continuing. But now was not the time for secret, forbidden desires. And so he finished his thought.

“I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DO ALL THIS ALONE!”

His words echoed through the room, his eyes were filled with tears, and his whole body gave away his true identity: a deeply hurt boy, trying to do his best all alone in the world.

“So, please, can we just… can we stand by each other's sides? Can we support each other as we walk through the rapids of madness? Because…”

Tears flowed. His weakness was on full display. His human nature that was hidden away and suppressed for so long was viewed in its entirety by his beloved.

“I don't… I don't… I don't want to do it all alone anymore.”

He fell to his knees. He could no longer control the shaking of his ravaged body nor the trembling of his broken voice.

“I suffered so damn much... I'm suffering so damn much for you.”

He couldn't even bring his arms up to his head anymore. He just gazed down to the sheets and cried out, “And now, I just want to have my Satisfaction! My Reward! My… My Happy Ending!”

He brought his sights back up. His pleading, pained, brown eyes met her shocked, pained, amethyst ones.

“And it isn't a Happy Ending if you're not there, Emilia-tan. It… it isn't a happy ending if I still have to suffer and hide away from you. So…”

He used the last bit of his strength to raise an arm to hold her cheek. His hand was a deep purple and she could feel it was cool to the touch.

“Please help me... Emilia”

And so, before she could even respond, his eyes closed and he fell forward into her arms.

Chapter Text

The room was silent for a long moment. Its three occupants had just become the first people to ever bear witness to the true Natsuki Subaru, to the truth behind a madman they believed their savior, the helpless boy they believed their hero.

Reinhard closed his eyes once Subaru fell unconscious. His mind took a second to finalize his memorization of the scene.

And then, having such a clear picture of what had just transpired such that he could exactly reproduce it had he had the acting ability, he began his reflection and analysis, “Natsuki Subaru slew the Sin Archbishops of Sloth and Greed, he captured the Sin Archbishop of Wrath, he slew the White Whale and the Great Rabbit, he has so many accomplishments and great deeds to his name. And it was all for the purpose of supporting his lady, his love, Emilia-sama.”

He frowned ever so slightly as his mind continued working through the information available to him, “Why? Why would this man, no, this boy turn himself into an unstoppable, lonely hero for just one person? No, not even just her. He transformed himself into a hero to save them all. But Why? Why would he risk becoming an inhuman monster just to help and save…”

Reinhard realized the ironic parallel, deepening his frown, “Why does Subaru want to be what I'm supposed to be? Why can't I suffer in his place? Why must he suffer so much and for so long just for people who will always hurt him?”

Reinhard thought back to all those he himself had ‘saved’. He thought back to his Father, his Grandfather, Felt, and hundreds of others. He thought back to their looks of hatred and disappointment. And he thought back to Subaru receiving all those same looks, day in and day out.

“Only I should be the one to take on such a burden! Only I deserve to be used and abused in such a way!”

He clenched his fists, threatening to destroy his pristine white gloves, as he reached the climax of his thinking, “Why must such a good, kind, and talented man, who has worked so hard for the happiness of all, suffer for every day of his life?! Why must Natsuki Subaru live a life of hardships when he has done so much good and so little wrong?! And why did he hide it all from me... from us... for so long?!”

Filled with self-hatred, Reinhard had come to a conclusion, a resolution, “No more. I will accept no more of this. I am at fault for his pain and his loneliness. My inadequacy is the cause of his suffering. He only strives to be the hero because I have failed in my place as one.”

He took a calming breath, relaxing his body slightly but not entirely as he resolved, “If I am ever to call myself his friend, if I am ever to be worthy of the only person who offered me true friendship, then I must help him. Even if he grows to hate me for it, despise me for it, I can no longer let him ‘do all this alone’.”

His eyes opened, full of fiery determination, as he declared to himself, “I promise you, Natsuki Subaru, I will definitely save you.”

Beatrice was the first to break the silence since Reinhard was thinking furiously beside her and Emilia was sitting shell-shocked with a half-dead Subaru in her arms.

She initially shared that feeling of utter shock with the room's other two occupants. However, she had already seen a small fraction of Subaru's true self twice before on this very day. Seeing him in his full glory was still quite a surprising sight, but she was better prepared for it by meters than Reinhard and by kilometers than Emilia.

She sprinted up to her contractor as fast as her short child-like legs could take her, intense worry plain on her face, her smug facade all but abandoned. Practically leaping onto the bed by Subaru’s side, Beatrice frantically began to force her mana into him, slowly healing his intense frostbite, internal bleeding, and whatever else was broken inside him.

“Betty can't believe you pulled such a stunt, I suppose. You have more broken bones and destroyed tissue than Betty can count, in fact,” she quipped, only to be met by silence. The lack of response to her incredibly painful healing and verbal admonition just served to worry the spirit girl even more.

But when she sensed his heartbeat and breathing stabilize, she calmed a tad, stopping her healing for a moment to rest her mind and gate.

“At least you won't die now, I suppose. But Betty had better heal you quickly. If Betty waits too long, the damage may become permanent,” she said, refocusing herself, this time with a much more calm demeanor. Her healing too had become methodical and precise as opposed to frantic and less-than-amazing. She refused to call the magic she had just used to save his life ‘inadequate’ or ‘bad’ even in her head. It saved his life, after all.

“Betty's Subaru had better praise her plenty for her hard work, in fact.”

She smirked to herself, thinking, “Betty's Subaru is truly hopeless, I suppose. Even when you broke open that ice, you were never alone, in fact. Earlier today, you made the choice to never again be alone, I suppose.”

Her smirk grew a tone sadder yet no less determined as she thought, “Betty's Subaru will never be alone again, in fact. Betty will see to it, I suppose. Betty has to…”

Emilia, out of three in the room, was having the hardest time digesting the preceding events. In the span of a few minutes, she had been on a rollercoaster of emotions that went as high as unparalleled joy to as low as suicidal despair. But now she just… didn't know how to feel.

It was strange really, not knowing how to feel. For the past two years, she knew she had ought to feel some sort of guilt but masked it with a dependence on Subaru. Before then, it was masked by a dependence on Puck. But now, she had nothing to mask her feelings with. Now, she felt an odd tranquility from the tearing off of all the masks.

“What did you always used to call that thing… where everything's reeeally just awful but there's a single place where it's all happy…” she said, thinking out loud.

She softly held the unconscious, incredibly injured boy in her arms, ignoring the frantic healing Beatrice was doing beside them. In fact, Emilia ignored Beatrice and Reinhard's presence in their entirety. To her, there were only two people in the room at that moment.

“Hmmm… it was something about eyes… and blizzards? No, that's not right…”

She thought hard for a moment, trying to recall a faded memory of a long past date. Realising it, she raised her volume a tad and said, “Ah! ‘The eye of the storm’. That's what you called it, Subaru.”

She placed her hand on his head, still hugging his unconscious form, and gently played with his hair as she continued, “You called me your ‘eye of the storm’. You called me the one place where you could go to feel safe when danger was everywhere.”

She smiled softly, the first real, pure smile she's given since before Sanctuary, free from the negative emotions that had been bubbling just under the surface of her now discarded mask.

She spoke her honest thoughts to the sleeping boy, “I didn't believe you then, but I do now. I do now because…”

She blushed ever-so-slightly, to the point where she was unaware of the action, and said, “I feel that same way about you now. You're my ‘eye of the storm’, Subaru. I feel like I can think clearly so long as I'm around you. I hope…”

She held him tighter, careful not to hurt or wake him, relishing in the comfort of his presence as she confessed, “I hope that you still feel that same way. I hope we can ‘hold hands in the raging river of madness’ like you said.”

She felt her heartbeat quicken and her face grow hot, only now noticing her blush, “I want to stand with you, Subaru. I want to fight for our future together, like you said. I-”

She whispered as quietly as she could into his ear, the strands of silver hair hiding her lips from onlookers serving as a curtain to hide her words from the outside world, “I want to be your Emilia-tan. Just like how you're my Subaru. I think I might…”

She stopped herself, thinking, “Is it too soon? Do I feel that way? I- I don't know how I should feel. I just know Subaru makes me reeeally warm and happy inside.”

A genuine smile on her face and joy in her heart, Emilia spoke nothing but the truth, “Soon, my Subaru, soon. I promise I'll be your Emilia-tan soon.” 

The room was silent for a time. Reinhard had moved to stand by the bed, looking at Subaru with a powerful determination, Beatrice was slowly but surely healing his various wounds, unsure of how he even got most of the internal ones, and Emilia held him in her arms, a soft smile on her slightly reddened face.

They stayed there for a time. Each was in the company of Subaru in silence, but not with each other. Reinhard was alone with the friend he had just promised to save, Beatrice was alone with her foolish, careless contractor, and Emilia was alone with her Subaru. They all stayed in silence, waiting for him to awaken, waiting for their chance to speak with him.

Subaru slowly opened his eyes. The first thing he noted was that he did not have another cryptic dream that was starting to feel more and more like a trip to another dimension rather than an actual dream. This made him happy, as he was not at all in the mood to talk to Envy, Sloth, or Greed. He already had plenty of those vices in his own personality.

The second thing he noted was what he saw. He saw the back of his bed in front of him but also strands of short silver hair on the edge of his vision. As he was barely awake, he did not notice that it was Emilia's hair that he saw.

The third thing he noted was what he felt physically.

First, he felt like absolute shit. Everything hurt. Like, a lot. His whole body was sore and aching in a dull pain. He felt like it was the morning after doing an entire year's worth of exercise in a day.

Second, he felt really comfortable. His whole body was warm and he had two distinct sensations on either side of him. To his back, he felt like someone small was hugging him tightly. It was not an uncomfortable tightness but it did express the individual's worry. To his front, he felt a larger person hugging him. Not only were they taller but they also had an excellent figure. The person to his front's chest was pushing against his and it was his favorite sensation out of the ones he had noted thus far.

The fourth thing he noted was what he heard. There was his, along with the aforementioned two people hugging him's, breathing. But this was easily overshadowed by a soft humming melody that came from neither of them. It was one of the most pleasant things he had ever heard and wished it would never end.

Having noted all of these things, his first action would be to investigate further. He would start by turning his head, ever so slightly, to see what was in the direction of the humming.

Beautiful red hair, striking blue eyes, and a smile that could swoon a thousand hearts in an instant. Subaru had identified the source of the angelic humming that he loved so much.

He blinked. Once, twice, three times. And then his brain started working again.

Reinhard was looking gently upon the scene before him. It had been well over an hour and was getting quite late but he didn't mind. The determination in his eyes may have been slightly obscured by the sweet scene before him, but it did not fade at all. In fact, it had only strengthened.

On the bed he was standing beside, sat Emilia, Subaru, and Beatrice. Emilia was sitting with her back against the wall, Subaru in her lap. Their arms were wrapped around each other.

Having completed her healing some time ago, Beatrice clung to Subaru's back. She seemed to both be calmed and worried simultaneously. Reinhard assumed this was because she was getting incredibly sleepy.

For the past five or so minutes, he had been humming an old lullaby he wasn't sure of the origins of. Reinhard found it adorable that a great spirit can be put to sleep by the humming of a lullaby.

And then he saw it. Subaru had opened his eyes. It was so slow and gentle that only Reinhard had noticed it. And he did not have the heart to bother him in such a moment.

Reinhard could almost see Subaru's mind analyzing his situation. The emotions he felt were plain on his face and Reinhard felt happy that the first thing his friend would feel upon waking would be comfort and joy.

But then he had turned to Reinhard. Reflexively, the knight smiled at his friend, happy that he was the first person Subaru had sought out. He wondered if it was the song he was humming.

Next, he was even happier to see that, in his most vulnerable and simple state, Subaru still looked at him with nothing but kindness. Reinhard committed the face he saw on his friend to memory. It would be the one he'd strive to place on him in daily life.

But then, Subaru's gentle happiness shifted to a neutral look, as if he was only waking up just then. Reinhard was a little hurt to see a scowl develop on his friend's face, but the look he had just memorized would keep him strong through any malicious words or actions Subaru had in store for him.

“Why the fuck… does the first thing I have to see in the morning… have to be your fucking face?” Subaru croaked out, his voice hoarse.

Smiling even more enthusiastically, Reinhard said, “Because it isn't morning, Subaru. It is, in actuality, late at night.”

Subaru shot back with a deeper frown, disgusted, “Ugh… and your voice is the first thing I have to hear too? Hopefully all my other sense's firsts will be taken by someone more worthy.”

“Betty has touch covered, I suppose.”

“I guess I'm the first Subaru smells, then.”

Subaru took a second to process the words spoken to him, the scowl leaving his face as his attention drifted from Reinhard. He shifted his head back and saw Emilia's face incredibly close to his own.

Her amethyst eyes seemed slightly puffy from tears but were as beautiful as ever. Her gorgeous silver hair was stunning, even when so short. Her every facial feature especially stood out to him in this moment as they were all so close. His eyes drifted to her lips and he felt himself blush.

“E-Emilia-tan, y-you're awfully close to me,” he said, Emilia’s form too alluring to him to blantanty reject the presence of.

She tilted her head slightly in confusion, saying, “Don't you like to be so close?”

She pulled him back into the hug he had left moments ago. She whispered into his ear, the heat of her breath against it sending a chill down his spine, “I, for one, know that I like to keep my Subaru nice and close.”

She brought his body even closer to her's. He could feel her every feature press against him. He was in such a state of bliss that he was unable to form coherent thoughts. Her mouth was right against his ear as she continued, “As~ Close~ As~ Possible~”

His face was redder than it had ever been before. It was the reddest thing out of really any person, object, or phenomenon that he had ever interacted with. It was so red that, without even seeing his face, he knew exactly how red it was. He literally could not form words.

“You'll cause Betty's Subaru to faint at this rate, I suppose. Give him here, in fact.”

He felt himself pulled off of the half-elf of his dreams and onto his back. Beatrice had detached herself from him and, noticing his predicament, did her best to help her contractor.

“Fine~” Emilia said, pouting at Beatrice, her face slightly red but nowhere near as much as Subaru.

He crawled away slightly, sat up straight, and attempted to hide that which had grown, much like the Grinch's heart, three sizes that day.

“Emilia-sama, if I may. I do believe it would be best for us to leave Subaru alone in his room for the night. It is rather late after all,” Reinhard interjected, already doing his best to fulfill his promise to his friend.

Subaru's gaze shifted to the knight. Reinhard winked at him. Subaru suppressed the urge to vomit. On the bright side, his boner was instantly dead.

Subaru took a deep breath and calmed himself, the redness of his face lowering to match Emilia's, and said, “As much as I absolutely adore having my Emilia-tan in my room late at night…”

Her face blushed much harder at the use of the phrase ‘my Emilia-tan’. Subaru noted this and continued, “And as much as I hate to agree with the Sword Saint on even the smallest of matters…”

Reinhard's smile did not falter. He had spent the past hour or so mentally preparing for the worst. This low level of hostility was, relative to the expected utter hatred, basically great kindness to Reinhard.

Ignoring the oddly amicable Sword Saint, Subaru finished his thought, “I do think it's best if we all rested for the night. We've all had a long day and we'll have plenty of time to discuss in the morning.”

Emilia pouted at this but smugly smiled a second later. She declared with confidence, “If that's the case, why don't I just sleep with Subaru?”

Subaru's redness returned with a vengeance, Beatrice face-palmed, and even Reinhard was caught off guard by the remark. 

“E-Emilia-sama, that would hardly be proper for an unmarried couple such as yourselves,” Reinhard started, unsure how to properly address his new Lady’s proposal.

“Y-yeah, Emilia-tan. Please trust me when I say we're not ready for that yet. Not by a longshot,” Subaru said, so embarrassed that he didn’t notice his agreement with his nemesis.

She looked quite confused but turned her attention to Beatrice, who had cleared her throat, “In the morning, Betty will explain to you in detail why it would be improper, I suppose. If you remain such a silly girl, Betty's Subaru's heart will not be able to take it, in fact.”

Emilia seemed placated by this and reluctantly got up and off the bed. She hopped and skipped her way to the still open door, gripping the frame hard enough to leave an imprint of her hand. 

“Good night, my Subaru~” she said, giving him a small, intense smile that he was simply not ready to process before turning and leaving the room.

Subaru let out a large sigh, “If she keeps that up, I think I'll die of heart failure by the end of the week.”

“I'm sure Beatrice-sama will do her utmost to keep you healthy in these trying times,” Reinhard helpfully added, still standing beside the bed.

“Why are you even still here?!”

Reinhard kept smiling as he walked to leave the room. He turned to speak before exiting, “We have much to discuss come the morning, Subaru. Will yo-”

“Get out already!”

Reinhard feigned hurt but kept his smile anyways, “Yes, yes. I'll be heading out now. Good night, Subaru.”

He moved to close the door behind him when Subaru shouted, “Let the door hit you on the way out!”

Through the now closed door, Reinhard’s voice rang out, “I believe it is physically incapable of doing so.”

And with that, Subaru and his spirit were the last in the room.

He finally relaxed and fell backwards onto the bed, exhausted. He was surprised to see Beatrice do the same.

“Beako… you are aware this is my room, right?”

She gave him a smug look and gave her best Subaru impression, mock crying included, “I thought that you ‘don't want to do it all alone anymore’, in fact.”

He blushed to about fifty percent of his maximum as he gave his knee-jerk reaction, “Wait, you saw all that?!”

She merely maintained her smug look as his blushed intensified and he gave his more thought-out reaction, “WAIT, REINHARD SAW ALL THAT?!”

He shot back up out of bed and said, a great sense of dread and embarrassment filling him, “Is- Is that why he's all smiles now?”

“That could be one reason, I suppose,” Beatrice mused, reflecting on her short interaction with the knight.

After another moment of embarrassed thinking, an evil look grew on Subaru’s face. He held his hands in a familiar pose and asked Beatrice a simple question, “And whose job was it to keep him out, I wonder?”

Her smugness faded and fear crossed her face. She realized all too late what he was about to do.

“Please, anything but that, in fact,” she begged, trying to crawl away.

Unfortunately for Beatrice, she was caught in his grasp as he started, “Tickle Torture! Level Two!”

For the second time in quite a few years, her laughter rang out from the room and into the halls, filling the mansion with the echoes of happiness despite the tension in the air. 

All in all, it was a fairly good day for Natsuki Subaru, the Sin Archbishop of Pride.

In another part of the mansion, under the silent moonlight, sat a lone man with a book in his hands.

“Teacher, please. Teacher, please instruct me once more,” he begged, frantically scanning page after page, searching for even the smallest sign of change. 

After what felt like hours, he gave up once again. It was his second night spent like this. His second night full of uncertainty. His second night without his guiding light.

“Teacher, please. I need you…”

Suddenly, he felt something about the book change. He opened it back up with a renewed vigor. The pages were filled with text once more.

“Teacher… thank you. Thank you so much, teacher.”

He cried as his guiding light was returned. He cried as he was given instructions once more. He cried as he was given the means by which to manipulate Natsuki Subaru yet again.

All in all, it was a fairly good day for Roswaal L. Mathers.

Chapter Text

PROLOGUE - How did this happen?

“Oi! Cat Man!”

The rather angry demihuman turned his sights to the tracksuit-clad man, scowling.

“You said you'd do anything, right?”

His rage grew and his scowl deepend, but he gave no verbal objection. He simply stood up from where he had previously crouched, facing the object of his resentment with fiery determination. He tried his best to ignore the empty feeling that came from the removal of Ram’s hands from his arms.

The black-haired boy donned a mad smile in response, gesturing downwards with his hands as he declared, “Suck my cock! Right here, right now.”

At his words, Subaru could see the demihuman’s temper flare; disgust and disdain plain on his face. The sheer hatred contained within Garfiel was unlike anything he had ever seen before, not in himself nor any of his enemies. And yet, to the abject horror of the bystanding maid, King Candidate, and great spirit, he actually walked over to Subaru and dropped down to the floor, kneeling before the man he directed the entirety of his hatred towards. 

The madman's evil laughter rang through the dining room and into the halls as Garfiel's hands reached for the hem of Subaru's pants. A quiet comment from the little girl standing a short ways away was the only sound to break that tension, 

“ Sigh. Hopeless, in fact.”

Now you may be wondering, dearest reader, how in the Divine Dragon's name such an unbelievable and objectively horrifying scene came to pass. Well, it all began that morning when he was sound asleep and having a less than pleasant dream. It was the Sin Archbishop of Pride's third day in the Greed timeline. Last night, he had finally thought things had settled down. He had finally thought things could drift to some sort of consistent ‘normal’. He could not have been more wrong.

EXHIBIT A - Umbral Dreams and Penumbral Shadows

He opened his eyes. He saw a darkened room, only the dimmest of lights granting him vision. The smell of spilt liquor permeated the air along with a strong sense of melancholy that wafted off of every figure in the room.

He looked left. There stood Blue. It was crying and muttering incoherently in between breaths. The frills of its once beautiful and cheerful dress only served as a reminder that it was worthless now, meaningless now.

He looked down. There was a layer of pristine white laid upon the floor. A covered form left it lumpy and uneven. It seemed out of place, its tainted purity not quite fitting in the darkened room.

He lifted the white sheet. It's "Dead," he said.

The cold, lifeless eyes of a good man. There were no spirits to surround him nor was there a smirk on his face. His lavender hair brushed against the dirty floor, tarnishing his once perfect appearance even further.

He had seen this many times, imagined it many times. This sight had floated in and out of his mind over the years whenever he’d idly ponder his past actions. Never once did it bother him…

Moving its now dry, dull lips, the corpse spoke in less than a whisper, "why?"

But now he felt a weight. The entirety of his existence was pinned down by that one word.

“It was necessary!” he shouted defiantly, as if he were arguing with the corpse.

Blue, next to him, whimpered through its sobs, "Why...?"

"It… it was necessary…" His own voice was faltering, the word felt a dozen times heavier now. 

He felt a hand on his shoulder and reflexively shuddered. He turned to see another him. 

He was dressed in the clothes of a noble, not a tracksuit nor Witch Cult robes. A black pendant hung around his neck, gleaming a soft green in the dim light. His eyes appeared exceedingly tired, but there was a fire in them. He was outraged, livid, and genuine disgust filled his expression. 

"Why?" the other him asked, the disdain in that word now an emotion that the madman himself could feel.

His words struggled to escape his lips, he was hardly able to stand now. The weight was simply too great. "I-it wa-was necess-"

"WAS IT!? WAS IT REALLY NECESSARY!?" the tired man screamed, snuffing out the pathetic excuse he attempted to give. The black pendant gleamed brighter now, as if entertained by his suffering. He was pathetic. No, worse than pathetic. He was revolting, repugnant, loathsome. He was worse than a disease and it would take the fires of the capital itself pressing against his skin to cleanse the taint and rot that he embodied.

"TO WHAT END!? TO SAVE WHOM!?"

He had had this very thought before. But he could run away from it, right? He can distract from it, right? 

"I-I don't-"

The well-dressed man saw straight through him and grasped the front of his shirt, lifting him off of the ground. "YOU DO KNOW! AND STOP PRETENDING YOU DON'T!"

He couldn't find the strength to answer. He couldn't bring himself to respond. He wanted to shut his eyes and turn away, run away. 

This world had always had it out for him, out for her. This world was corrupted and tainted and evil. It was unfair, so unfair. It was only right for him to do what he did. Anyone would do what he did. He made the right choice.

But even thinking these things felt wrong now. That one word made it impossible for him to delude himself any further.

He was deluding himself? No. No, that couldn’t be right. And yet that word would not stop pushing against the very foundations of his soul.

He found himself growing tired, the weight of the word making him go limp in his other self's hands, pulling him to the ground. He was so, so tired. 

This was the last way he could flee from that word, that feeling, that guilt.  

He fell asleep while uttering that single word.

"Why?"

Darkness. A familiar darkness. One he had never been more glad to see.

“I- I just…”

The entirety of the void lay still as he thought. No ghosts of the past came to disturb him.

“I- I-”

He couldn't bring himself to think. He just… remained mentally numb in the quiet, shadowy place as his body began to form around him.

.

.

.

A voice like silver bells rang out. 

 “I love you.”

He could feel her approaching presence but did not respond. He allowed his body to solidify within this odd place but did not turn to look at her. He stood, gazing into the distance.

“I love you. I love you. I love you.”

Unable to ignore her vapid words of affection any longer, he could only repeat that which tormented him so, still staring into the endless abyss, “Why?”

She paused for a short moment, but not to think nor hesitate. Subaru may not have registered it, but she had changed. Her tone softened slightly and her eyes became more gentle as she replied:

“Because… you saved me… you gave me everything.”

He processed her words, broke apart the sentence in his mind and, after a brief silent analysis, rejected them, saying, “But I've… I've never given anything to anyone… I've only stolen and killed and robbed the life out of the world just to…”

His attention no longer focused on her now. He began to question himself.

“Just to give it all to someone who didn't want or ask for it?”

He knew this to be a pretty lie. He knew this to be a sweet delusion. He knew this to be untrue. And so, he sought reality.

“No, I did it for myself, then? It was all necessary to Satisfy me, then?”

He saw his Pride in full. He saw his greatest vice for what it was.

“But I wasn't even Satisfied with that. All that I did, all those I killed, it was all for nothing.”

He saw it for the deadly sin it was.

“It wasn't necessary?” he asked himself, almost pleading for it to be untrue, his voice breaking along with his once unshakable will.

Saddened silver bells rang out to comfort him, as if mourning his loss of purpose, 

“I love you.”

But her voice did not reach him. The crumbling away of the very foundation of his identity brought nothing but chaos to his mind. He spoke in frank terms, unable to keep on even the simplest of masks, 

“So I'm worse than worthless, huh? I'm a disease, infecting every life I touch. Even here. Even now.”

It was the only conclusion he could reach. It was the only truth left to accept.

“I'm a sinner and a madman. All my suffering? All my pain? It was nothing compared to that which I've inflicted on others,” he said, a pungent tone of self hatred lacing his words.

Tears forming in his eyes, Subaru struggled through his train of thought, his every instinct telling not to pursue it. 

“I don't… I don't deserve a Happy Ending. I don't deserve anyone's care or concern. Because, at the end of the day…”

He fell to his knees and wept as he finished his line of reasoning, 

“I'm the villain aren't I? I've always been the villain... and I can never be anything more... anything better. I- I really am a terrible person…”

“Even so…” those silver bells started, her gentle and kind words overwhelming his own shaking and angry voice. 

She knelt beside him and spoke her own truth once more, “I love you.”

Despite all the compassion and sincerity she displayed, her words annoyed him. To him, they felt empty before but now they were blatant lies. In his pursuit of the truth, he challenged her falsehood. He couldn't let more comforting illusions hide away his shame. 

Finally turning to face her, he defied her words, saying, “Prove it. Prove you can care for my rotten existence.”

She, without stopping for even a moment, gracefully sat on her knees beside him. She brushed down the shadows present on her lap and brought him down to lay upon it. It felt nearly identical to his Emilia-tan's. 

“Almost, but not quite,” he thought, the subtle difference fascinating him. But it did not distract him for long. He knew he'd have time to think about it more later.

“And what does this prove exactly?” he asked, spiteful.

In total opposition to his bitterness, she gave him a light poke to the nose and let out a small giggle, saying, “Even after everything you've been through, everything you've done, you're still my Subaru.”

From this angle, he could see the lower half of her face that was unobscured by her veil. She looked upon him with nothing but joy and a soft smile, her features seeming especially beautiful in the darkness.

“Liar. You couldn't possibly know that,” he said, trying his best to believe it himself. Even if what she had said felt genuine, he came to doubt it.

She lifted a hand and made a small motion, prompting a piece of the darkness to detach from the rest and float above him. It contorted and morphed until it grew reflective, seeming totally unlike the shadow it once was. Had he not seen the magic used to produce it, he would have easily mistook the product as a common, medium-sized mirror.

But his focus was less on the odd magic and more on what appeared within it. He saw himself slightly blushing and with the most gentle of smiles.

He saw his own eyes widen in shock as he touched his own face, thinking, “This… this is no illusion…”

“I know that because you still love me… and I still love you. You're still my Subaru, no matter how Greedy, Slothful, Lustful, Wrathful, Envious, Gluttonous, or Prideful you are.”

He felt his consciousness slipping away, his form was dissipating. It was odd, feeling sad to leave this place, sad to leave the comfort this Witch brought him.

“But my Subaru always had a heart big enough for a whole country,” she said, playing with his slowly disappearing hair. He could no longer feel her heavenly thighs.

“Even though I will love you no matter what, you could stand to be a little more Greedy, Natsuki Subaru.”

In his final moment of presence there, he allowed a single phrase to leave his corrupted and blackened heart, “Thank you… Satella…”

EXHIBIT B - #FF0000

“Man, I still feel like absolute shit. The ‘Well Rested’ buff was a fucking lie,” Subaru thought as he lay in bed, unwilling to move from his position despite the sun steadily rising in the sky. 

Heavy fatigue permeated his every muscle, yet he still felt himself able to move despite it. It was the considerable mental fatigue and guilt coursing through him - that he was pointedly ignoring - that truly kept him in place. Thankfully, relishing in his physical pain was a great distraction, one of very few that would actually work. 

“Even my fucking eyelids are sore. How the fuck are my eyelids sore?”

However, there was another reason Subaru remained immobile. 

Despite the ever-present, numbingly dull pain he felt, the fact that he held the second cutest person in his world in his arms meant that he was, in fact, incredibly comfortable.

“As much as Betty deserves your desperate embrace, you should be getting up soon, I suppose. A rather troublesome girl will come to fetch you if you do not, in fact,” said the blonde haired-girl, almost insincerely. She too was at ease cuddling and did not at all want to move. Of course, it would not be befitting of a great spirit to say something like that, she supposed. But even then, her Subaru was very comfy.

Subaru moved his mouth as little as possible as he responded to her in a low tone, savoring the comfort her presence brought him. His voice came out as a very soft, raspy whisper. “You mean petra? I can definitely convince her to leave me alone. After what she pulled last time, she'll think twice before-”

“You're too late, I suppose,” Beatrice said, cutting him off, her tone hinting at amusement. “She is at the door, in fact.”

Subaru was totally definitely 100% mentally prepared to fend off the duty-bound maid in her attempts to wake him. He had dozens of cards to play that varied from guilting to bribing. Tricking Petra was like taking candy from a baby, or like teasing Beatrice for being a little girl.

He was not, however, prepared to stop who actually entered the room.

“Subaru?” a voice like silver bells rang through the now open door. It immediately put Subaru at ease to the point that he no longer had to consciously suppress his regretful thoughts. It just happened naturally whenever she was there. She consumed the entirety of his attention, filling every corner of his mind.

“Emilia-tan~”

But then his logical brain reassumed control, and he came to the realization that all the tactics he could use would be worthless against her. This was not because she was somehow immune to manipulation, but rather that she was the one person he could never control his emotions around. There was a reason he didn't ever show his face around her in his old timeline: He would melt at the very sound of her voice.

No amount of bluffing, scheming, or plotting would work against her since he simply was unable to do any of those things properly. He just couldn't bring himself to do it to his angel.

As he was coming to grips with his situation, Emilia had walked over to his bedside, standing before the turned away Subaru,

“Subaru~ It's time to wake up, sleepyhead~”

“Her voice sounds like heaven. A choir of angels could not comp- focus, Subaru, focus. How do I manage to get out of this situation?” Subaru thought, full of both panic and pleasure.

She reached a hand out to touch the back of his head, but was stopped by Beatrice’s interjection, “You should refrain from touching Betty's Subaru, I suppose. He is still quite tired, in fact.”

“Beako, I love you and I hate you... I leave the rest to you.”

The half-elf was somewhat surprised to hear the spirit girl's voice. Had they not agreed to give Subaru space for the night? She gazed up to see Beatrice being held in Subaru's arms, her head only just barely poking up above the covers.

“No fair, Betty-chan! You just want him all to yourself!” the King Candidate argued, pouting at the great spirit who smirked smugly in response. Emilia's pout grew to match Beatrice's smirk as a wonderful idea came to her mind.

“Well~ I guess you can sleep in a little longer~”

“Oh thank Jesus Christ almighty I was about to say-”

“So why don't I join you?”

Without giving Subaru a moment to even think of an objection, he felt his beloved's form slip under the sheets and press itself against his back. She was hugging him even tighter than last night.

“Betty's Subaru looks much like a lesser spirit of fire with all that red, I suppose,” Beatrice teased, Subaru’s conflicted expression well within her sights. 

Subaru’s trained tactician's mind was hot garbage when faced with the feeling of Emilia's chest against his back, her breath against his neck, and her legs intertwining with his. Coherent thoughts were no longer even in the realm of possibility for the young man.

“EmilayourchestissosoftIjustwanttosquishityourlegsaresosmoothIwanttofeelthemforeveryourbreathbringsmelifeholyfuckingshitIthinkIhavediedandgonetoheavenifthisiswhatJesusisofferingIllbecomeadevoutchristianandprayeverdayIloveyouEmiliaitstakingeveryounceofmywillnottocorruptyourinnocentsoulrighthereandnowIhopeyouknowthatyou-”

His thoughts halted as he felt her arms wrap around his waist. They were dangerously close to where she had no place going to just yet. And so, despite how aroused and comfortable he was, he forced himself to resist the temptation she brought him.

“ThiscantgetworseIgottafocusgottagetoutofhere-”

Squirming away from her grasp, he was no match for her superior elven strength. His only way out of this situation was to negotiate. Unfortunately, his usually strong and confident voice that could talk down even the world's greatest evils came out shaky and nervous in the face of Emilia's embrace.

“E-E-Emilia-tan, I'll get up, I'll get up, just please let go!”

In response, she effortlessly turned him around to face her. She could see what Beatrice meant about the redness of his face and a light touch of crimson came to her own as she said, “Hmmmm, I don't know Subaru~ I didn't rest well last night so I'm feeling reeeeally tired right now~”

She pulled him to the point where there was no distance left between them. Their bodies were on one another and their faces were mere centimeters apart. It took every drop of willpower he had left in him to not move forward to kiss her.

“Even if it makes me a naughty girl~” she cooed, her tone and word choice flipping every one of Subaru’s switches.

She was slowly getting closer and closer to him. But she suddenly stopped and asked, “Subaru…? Why are you poking me?”

“FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK”

The gears in his mind spun but formed no thoughts. He spoke but conveyed no meaning.

“I-umm-well-I just-you see-the thing is-” he stammered, unable to respond.

Luckily, he felt himself being pulled away from her embrace yet again and instant relief flowed through him despite a sizable part of him wanting nothing more than to remain with her forever. 

His ability to form coherent thoughts returned as he realized, “I can't do that a third time. I- I don't think I could stop myself again.”

Emilia pouted, looking past the man and towards the great spirit who was yet again stealing away her Subaru.

Before the half-elf could raise an objection, Beatrice spoke up, “Sigh. Betty promised to educate you come the morning, I suppose. Before you kill Betty's contractor with your foolishness, she will fulfill that promise now, in fact.”

Emilia took offense to the unfounded accusation against her, placing a hand on her chest in indignation and sitting up on the bed, saying, “I wouldn't hurt my Subaru! I promised myself not to do it again…”

“Yes, hurting, that is a good place to start, I suppose,” Beatrice mused, largely ignoring the silly girl’s words of protest. She, having already cast Murak on him while he was resisting Emilia's charms, effortlessly lifted Subaru out of bed and carried him to the bathroom door. 

She placed him inside and left a message before shutting it, “Betty saw you struggling to keep yourself in check, in fact. You should stay here while Betty once again saves you from your worst impulses, I suppose.”

At the sound of his contracted spirit's voice, he snapped out of the indecent thoughts that looped through his mind and said, “Beako, wait!”

She narrowed her eyes and directed a determined look towards him, stopping him in his tracks, “Did Betty's Subaru not beg for help from others just last night, in fact?”

He had no words to retort, he had no words to refute her. He simply sat on the floor, looking mildly unhappy.

“Betty's Subaru truly is a hopeless man, I suppose,” she repeated, unable to properly express her exasperation.

And so, she shut the door and walked back towards the increasingly impatient half-elf who waited on the bed.

“So do you understand now, silly girl, why what you did both yesterday and today was improper, in fact?” Beatrice asked from her place on the bed. She was sitting with elegance, her tone and demeanor remaining composed despite her slight flush.

“Be-be-because I was making it s-s-seem like I wanted t-to m-make babies with S-Subaru…” Emilia barely managed to articulate. She sat across from the spirit girl, hands covering her very reddened face as she struggled to form a coherent sentence. Mental images of the actions described to her being taken by herself and her Subaru refused to leave her mind.

“And while Betty's Subaru would most certainly greatly enjoy doing such a thing, you can not simply force yourself upon him, I suppose. ‘There is an order and rhythm to this sort of thing’, in fact,” the great spirit elaborated, easily taking on the role of a diligent tutor even for a topic such as this. Unbeknownst to the half-elf, Beatrice had just quoted a line Subaru delivered last night after her rather long Tickle Torture session. They had discussed Subaru's troubles with Emilia at length, leaving him rather surprised with his partner's maturity.

She was, in fact, not as mature as she let on. She knew the mechanics of sex, as it was described in detail within a biology book in her Mother's now destroyed library, but the way Subaru talked about the activities surrounding it would normally have left her a blushing mess. Fortunately, she was emotionally exhausted after the rather long day and was able to leave her furious blushing for after he fell asleep.

“S-so- ummm-” Emilia stammered, unsure how to put her thoughts into words.

The formerly innocent girl took a moment to form a sentence in her head before continuing. Unfortunately, it came out rather rushed and all at once, 

“IreallywanttogetclosertoSubarumaybeevenlikethatwheredoIstartBetty-sensei?”

Beatrice stared at the crimson-faced half-elf for a moment before sighing and rubbing the bridge of her nose with one hand. She spoke without meeting Emilia’s eye as she couldn’t muster the strength to after such an embarrassing request, 

“Betty thinks it best to sort out your exact feelings first, in fact. But if you wish to take action first, Betty would recommend k-kissing her Subaru, I suppose.”

She silently cursed herself for slipping up her mature facade right at the end of her sentence. Subaru would have been able to see through that in a second but Emilia was far too preoccupied to notice.

“Kiss? Kissing Subaru?” she thought, somehow managing to blush harder. It was impressive, really.

“I can do this! I can k-k-kiss Subaru! I'll even do it by the end of the day!”

She gave a shaky yet determined smile - that would have been impressive if she had not been the color of a tomato - and nodded to herself.

“Thank you so much, Betty-chan! I-I'll be sure to put what you told me to good use!” the King Candidate declared.

This was not the reaction Beatrice was expecting nor was it the one she wanted but it was better than how things were just a few minutes ago so she, as Subaru would say, rolled with it.

Some time later, long after Subaru had calmed his thoughts and was in the midst of planning out his day, avoiding the emotional landmine that was self reflection, he heard a knock on the bathroom door. He stood up in response, glad to finally have something to fully occupy his attention.

“Yeah? Is that you, Beako?” 

A voice Subaru could tell was struggling to keep its composure called back, “I have finished my lecture, in fact.”

Subaru opened the door to see a lightly flushed Beatrice, struggling to meet his eye. He placed a hand on her head and smiled, “You did a good job, Beako. You shouldn't push yourself so hard for my sake. This isn't stuff little girls need to worry about, you know?”

She pouted at being called a little girl again but was very pleased with the praise, relieved that Subaru saw through her crumbling facade. She did not want to maintain it any longer.

Silently accepting his words, she focused instead on enjoying the head pat.

“I'll be sure to tease her about this later.”

Inspecting his surroundings, Subaru saw Emilia standing all the way on the other side of the room, avoiding his gaze and blushing as hard as he had last night and just this morning.

“Emilia-tan?”

She let out a small yelp at his voice and instinctively met his gaze. She then lingered on his lips for a moment before fixing her eyes to the floor and blushing yet again.

“I can do this! I can k-kiss my Subaru! I can-”

While she was busy psyching herself up, Subaru found the perfect opportunity to get his revenge for her earlier teasing. He walked up to her and placed a hand on her cheek, gazing deep into her amethyst eyes.

She shot her sight back up at the feeling and saw how incredibly close he had gotten to her.

“Are you okay? I don't want my Emilia-tan to be sick or uncomfortable,” he asked with as much concern in his tone as he could possibly muster, his eyes packed with care and honesty.

Subaru was proud of himself. It seems he was wrong about his inability to manipulate his beloved. He could do so, but only when it came to maximizing the efficacy of his teasing.

“ Totally worth the nerf.”

Emilia, on the other hand, had just beaten Subaru's blushing high score and achieved a never before seen intensity of red on her face. The warmth of his touch, the closeness of his form, the new knowledge bestowed upon her, the determination to kiss him, and his use and emphasis of the phrase ‘my Emilia-tan’ were a perfect storm of actions and ideas that, individually, each left her feeling warm inside, but together, caused her to file for mental bankruptcy.

He leaned in close and rested his forehead on hers, closing his eyes. 

“You feel so hot, Emilia-tan. Do you have a cold? You can rest in my bed for now if you want.”

Emilia did not think it possible for him to make her more embarrassed. If she were capable of coherent thinking, she'd have figured out he was doing this all on purpose. As his lips drew near and thoughts of sleeping in his bed filled the entirety of her thinking, Emilia’s overstimulated mind short-circuited. She simply couldn’t take it anymore.

“You-You dunderhead…” she muttered out softly, her every muscle relaxing. A smile laid plain on her very red face as she fainted within his grasp.

With his beloved now unconscious in his arms, he allowed his previously suppressed blush to take hold as he mused to himself, “Whoops… I may have overdone it a bit.”

He gently picked her up, careful not to touch her in any place that would set him off again - which was difficult because every square centimeter of her body was flawless to him - and brought her to his bed. He tucked her in and stared at her for a rather long moment.

“I don't think I could ever deserve someone like you but…”

He would have kissed her forehead as he turned to leave, but he was too embarrassed to do so.

“I just can't stop loving you, Emilia.”

The spirit girl watched the scene as she waited by the door. She solemnly shook her head.

“Truly hopeless, in fact.”

She was unsure who that sentiment was directed towards anymore.

EXHIBIT C - Breakfast Blues

Hand in hand, Subaru and Beatrice calmly made their way through the halls of the mansion. They spent the entirety of the short journey bonding. And by bonding, it was actually Subaru ranting and raving at her about his various passions as she looked on in a mix of concern and amusement. 

The sound of laughter and enthusiastic discussion filled the halls as they walked. The pair were in their own little world, totally enraptured with their conversation.

Subaru reached the climax of his current topic of choice right as they were opening the door to the dining room. His face was somewhat red with rage and his voice was much louder than necessary for speaking to someone directly beside him. “…and that's why I fucking hate that bastard Todd sooooo fucking much. And I just know that prick's gonna show up again in this timeline, I swear he will.”

Beatrice was initially sceptical about the poor reputation her contractor gave to a knife of all things. But, after hearing his long and drawn out tale with bated breath, she couldn't help but share in his sentiments, saying, “Betty hopes to never see this ‘Todd’, I suppose. He can ‘eat shit’, in fact.”

Subaru, wholeheartedly agreeing with the sentiment of her words, was about to voice his approval, but paused at her response. 

“Beako, you know it's not good for little girls to curse,” he said, his anger subsiding. 

Beatrice pouted at the familiar remark and took a seat at the table. She plopped herself down on her chair with an air of elegance that Subaru could only see as one of childish annoyance. Even though he was meant to be scolding her, he couldn’t help but smile at the adorable sight.

“How many times must Betty tell you she's a centuries old spirit, I suppose? Betty's Subaru is incapable of listening, in fact,” she replied, maintaining her air of elegance despite the crude phrasing she had just used.

Just as they were beginning their usual teasing routine, with Subaru having already prepared his response to her, a third voice interrupted them. Still standing, Subaru turned to face it. Before him stood the pink haired maid, and her face had shifted from its usual neutral composition to a slightly disgusted one.

“You are unable to even remember simple facts regarding your own contracted spirit. Barusu is really as useless as ever,” she spat, her gaze more intense than he’d ever seen before.

“Well she's being more… informal. I would say friendly but a verbal lashing first thing in the morning hardly makes her amicable,” he thought, unsure of how exactly to approach her change in attitude.

“That's awfully… rude of you to say,” he settled on saying, largely neutral in his tone. 

Ram turned her head and made her usual ‘Hah’ noise before shooting back, “And tell Ram why she must respect someone like Barusu? Can you only function on constant praise, scum?”

Her second question felt more like a statement of fact than anything else. It left a strong impression on him and got him thinking.

“It's almost cute, this whole prideful attitude she's got going on. The arrogance to think she can out-pride the Sin Archbishop of Pride is almost endearing…”

With the thought of his status as an archbishop entering his mind, the memories of his many crimes committed under said alias wormed their way towards the forefront of his thought process. Rather than allow himself to think about those negative things, he turned off the logical part of his brain. Unfortunately, he did this in the middle of a conversation and was left silently staring at the maid before him.

At a loss of what to do, Subaru's need to respond was taken away as the Court Mage and Sword Saint entered the room, conversing. The clown-like man spoke aloud in an insincere pleading tone, facing Reinhard, “So you seeeee, Reinhard-kun, we can sit and eaaaat breakfast but we must leeeaaave within the hour.”

The red haired knight seemed conflicted, struggling to properly formulate a response. Noticing his hesitation, Roswaal raised his voice a level so that everyone in the dining room could hear him. 

“Unleeeess you've found something more impooortant than the search for Felt-saaaama?”

The clown closed his blue eye as the other drifted to Subaru. He frowned in response, the act prompting his brain to turn back on.

“I fucking hate it when he stares at me like that. I can already tell he's about to pull some annoying bullshit. Just my luck.”

Reinhard quickly denied the accusation, hesitation fading but not disappearing, “Of course not, Roswaal-sama. I have sworn to do everything in my power to aid my lady… but…”

His gaze shifted towards the scowling Subaru as his body tensed. “I promised to save him.”

Maintaining his jovial yet threatening tone, Roswaal shifted his eye off of Subaru and replied, “Buuuut~?”

The knight lightly shook his head, returning his sights to the margrave, and said, “It's nothing. We should eat with haste.”

Roswaal's smile widened ever-so-slightly.

Subaru was not having a fun time in the dining room. First, he was eating breakfast in a dining room. Dining . Like, dinner. Something about this completely normal activity bothered him today especially. Maybe it was the absolutely gargantuan size of the room that did not at all fit the number of occupants of the mansion. Maybe it was the fact that they were having the same bland-ass fucking soup for the third meal in a row. Maybe it was the mountain of suppressed anxiety and guilt that was growing increasingly hard to ignore. Or maybe it was the lack of mayonnaise. Subaru did not know, and he did not want to think about it. There were more pressing concerns.

Second, the occupants of the room were… absolutely infuriating, to put it mildly. His beloved Emilia-tan was absent, his darling Beako was trying to get him to train his self control, he had already been berated by the sharp-tongued maid, that clown was up to some more of his trademark bullshit again, and now he was forced to sit across from a smiling Reinhard who just wouldn't take his attention off of Subaru.

Reinhard's skill at getting under Subaru's skin was second to none. And so, none of his other complaints even compared to the frustration that Reinhard's smiling face brought him.

“Fucking dickhead with his stupid ass smile. When his soup comes, I hope that it's filled with sugar instead of salt,” Subaru thought, a smirk coming to his face.

Noticing this, Reinhard spoke out to his friend, “I am glad to see you smiling, Subaru. I wonder what happy thoughts are inciting such a reaction.”

The knight received an honest reply accompanied by a wider smirk, “I'm hoping they put sugar instead of salt in your soup, ruining your breakfast.”

Without missing a beat, Reinhard shot back, “If such an unfortunate event did occur, I can assure you that I'd eat Petra-san's lovely meal with a smile anyway.”

Subaru's smirk faded as he didn't get a fun reaction out of his nemesis.

“Fucking perfect asshole.”

Reinhard, noting the dampening of Subaru’s mood, gave a less teasing response, hoping it would cheer his friend up once more, 

“But it would be impossible to begin with, Subaru. I have the Divine Protection of Salt Reasoning that allows me to, among other things, tell whether my food is salted or sweetened at a glance.”

The tracksuit-clad man gave a knee-jerk response, “Bullshit.”

Reinhard raised an eyebrow to silently question his doubt, making it clear that he wasn't lying.

Subaru was taken aback, to say the least. After many thousands of loops of experimentation and research, he knew every single one of Reinhard's long, long list of Divine Protections by heart. This one was new to him and had to have been obtained because of something his other self did or caused. Such a possibility didn't even occur to Subaru until that moment and Reinhard's potentially infinite number of new powers, frankly, terrified him.

That may be part of the reason why his next words were said in more of a shout than anything else. It was also likely why he had unconsciously adopted a nervous tic in his right leg. No other reason. There were absolutely no other negative emotions being suppressed at that moment. Nope. None at all. Definitely not.

“How?! Why?! Why would you even need something like that?!”

The knight's smile faltered a tad. He knew that Subaru had his entire list of Divine Protections, their effects, and why he had them, perfectly memorized. In fact, when he had first joined the camp, Subaru specifically asked to be kept up to date with any and all changes to said list. For that reason, Subaru must know that this one in particular was gained as he was in the service of his lady. His lady that abandoned him. His lady he wasn't enough for. His lady that he failed...

But just as he was about to fall downwards into a self-hating spiral, he remembered one crucial fact: Subaru must have been doing this intentionally.

“Why? Why would he want to hurt me like this?”

Reinhard remembered his friend's hatred and guilt. Reinhard remembered the promise he had made. His smile returned, stronger than before, the tense feeling in his body that had lingered since he spoke to the margrave subsiding. 

“Nice try, Subaru. But you will not deter me so easily,” he said, more determined than ever. “I promised I would save you, Subaru. Even if you try to keep me away, I will never stop standing by your side. It is what a friend ought to do. And if a few mean words can stop me then… I can hardly be counted as your friend, now can I?”

“Deter…?” Subaru started, confused, before saying, “I was just asking you an honest question, you intention-assuming cock weasel!”

From how Subaru had said that last phrase, Reinhard assumed it was an insult. He would add this to his ever-growing list of Subaruisms.

“My mistake, Subaru. Allow me to correct my error at once,” Reinhard said, polite.

Subaru didn't want his nemesis to have his way but… he also wanted an answer. His solution was to silently look unhappy at him. Although this had worked somewhat well against Beatrice earlier, it somehow only strengthened Reinhard's smile. “Seriously… What the fuck is his deal?! What kinda twisted self-reflections did he have last night?!”

“I received the Divine Protection of Salt Reasoning while I was under the service of Felt-sama. I… would rather not linger on such bittersweet memories,” Reinhard explained. While his smile was as strong as ever, it was clear from his tone that reflecting on those past joyful events indeed brought him great sadness. This only served to confuse Subaru.

“Felt? Like the thief girl from way back? Why the hell would the Sword Saint serve some gutter rat that stole from a Royal Candidate?”

“Reinhard-kuuuun, bittersweet is such a haaaarsh word to use is it not?” Roswaal interjected, as if it were the most natural thing in the word despite being several meters away at the head of the table.

“Ah, the third most annoying entity I've encountered so far has joined the conversation. Now we just need the tiger boy and the Big Three of making me want to blow my brains out will have assembled.”

Graceful as ever, the Sword Saint turned to reply to the creepily smiling man, his head inclined ever-so-slightly, “I am merely stating the truth, Roswaal-sama. As fond as I am of my time spent in her service, it saddens me to have seen Felt-sama leave.”

Subaru scoffed at this, adopting yet another smirk, thinking, “So he got dumped by a slums loli? Pathetic.”

“So isn't it greeeaaat that a business assoooociate of mine may have a leeeaaad on her?” the mage said, his eyes adopting a knowing gleam, as if he knew all of the red haired man's secrets. “If I didn't knooooow better, I'd say you aren't haaaaappy to reconnect with Felt-saaaama.”

The knight grew annoyed at Roswaal's implication. Well, as annoyed as Reinhard is capable of being. The clown remained unintimidated as the Sword Saint replied, “Roswaal-sama, I could be nothing but overjoyed at your news. I am merely concerned with the camp's safety in my absence.”

As if expecting that answer, Roswaal wasted no time on thinking before replying.

“If thaaaaat's the case, can't you aaaaask Od Laguna for a Diviiiiine Protection to put your mind at eaaaase?” he said, his smile widening to an unnatural degree.

Reinhard, despite his hesitance to follow along with whatever the incredibly suspicious mage was plotting, closed his eyes at the suggestion. It wasn't a bad idea and he lost nothing from trying.

Subaru's smirk instantly vanished and his gaze grew glacial as he started down the praying Sword Saint. 

“Note: Keep Roswaal away from Reinhard in the future. Individually, they're a pain in the ass but together they're nigh unstoppable.”

Reinhard silently begged the soul of the world for a way to ensure the safety of the camp, especially Subaru, in his absence. And so, as Reinhard was beloved by the world, his wish was granted and he opened his eyes, looking at the clown once again.

“I have received it,” he said, monotone and expressionless, before adopting a determined and reinvigorated smile.

Subaru's gaze remained undeterred. He was prepared to take any action necessary to address whatever new threat was to appear. “I'm ready for your OP bs this time, Reinhard.”

“I have just received the Divine Protection of Subaru Searching. It grants me the ability to intuitively know of Subaru's location and physical health in the case that he truly, from the bottom of his heart, desires my assistance or presence.”

The madman was at a loss for words. His every previous action and train of thought halted. Even the nervous tic in his right leg stopped for a time.

“...what? Why? That's so…”

He didn't know whether to be offended, confused, or angry at the knight. And the smile that just wouldn't shake from Reinhard's face made it all that much worse. “He seems so damn proud about this too. Why? Why are you being so…”

Subaru eventually came to an unusual thought. But, this time, he did not think it with a mad, calculating smile. He simply looked at the man across from him with astonished amazement. If you looked closely, his lips were ever so slightly curved upwards.

He whispered quietly to himself, in a tone that no normal human could possibly hear, “Happy Birthday, Reinhard. It's a new you!”

The knight, using one of his many Divine Protections, heard what his friend had muttered and turned to see Subaru's odd-looking smirk. He didn't quite know what to make of it.

“It isn't the anniversary of my birth though? And no one would celebrate it, even if it was.”

“Is something wrong, Subaru?” Reinhard asked, genuinely concerned.

The usual scowl reserved for his nemesis returned as Subaru looked away and grumbled, “You just had to ruin it didn't you? Get a Divine Protection of Good Timing already, you annoying asshole.”

Even with the ending of the strange conversation, those words echoed through Subaru's mind, humming the same tune as his suppressed guilt.

“It's a new you…”

The rest of the meal went by largely in silence. Gariel had loudly barged in several minutes after it began, and, of course, there were the sounds of the various maidly activities performed by Petra, Ram, and the nice blonde tiger lady that Subaru still didn't know the name of, but no real words were exchanged the whole time. Just glares.

In fact, Subaru had never been in a room with so many people looking at him with their hearts on their sleeves. Of course, Meili and Elsa were always honest with him. Brutally so. Not a day went by without the busty assassin making a pass at his bowels and the loli assassin's disgusted reaction to said passes.

“Ah, good times. Who else was there that'd be so plain with me? Hmmmm. Todd? No, he was a lying son of a bitch. Plummy? I don't really know her well enough to be sure. Blue? In a way, it had its own brand of honesty but it wouldn't do to count pets among people like that.”

Oddly, the thought of his cat brought him a fleeting negative emotion that it never had before. Reflexively, he immediately suppressed and ignored said feeling and moved onto other thoughts, surveying the room around him.

“That tiger boy looks like he's about to jump out of his seat every time I look at him. No way is this crotch goblin related to that maid. Apple must've fallen real far from the tree this time around.”

Subaru passed his gaze over the silently smug clown - “fucker is looking at me like I'm a preschooler in a playground” - and inspected the pink haired maid. Somehow, while barely moving, Ram was still giving him nonverbal cues of disgust and aggression. 

“She's so full of emotion yet so controlled,” he thought, honestly impressed.

The maid visibly shuddered when she noticed him staring. She glared both politely and hatefully back at him. He smirked as he mused, “Don't poke a bear, Ram. You'll get hurt when it bites back.”

A moment later, he moved on to where his beloved would normally be seated.

“Emilia-tan~.”

He relaxed slightly at the thought of her. His eyes softened and his breathing became steady and calm. For several uninterrupted minutes, he just regarded her empty chair with a smile.

“Emilia-tan… it hurts when you're away from me like this. If you were here, all my worries would melt away…”

The resurfacing of the mere mention of his anguish in his mind broke the trance.

“I… I don't deserve her. I don't deserve a Happy Ending. I need to be hurt. I need to be punished for what I did. I'm a monster…”

He tensed significantly and reached to pull up his sleeves and scratch at his arms but found that his hands were stopped in their tracks. He snapped out of the negative train of thought and saw that Beatrice had plopped herself on his lap and pulled his arms in to hug her. “Beako…”

“Betty's Subaru doesn't need to be alone, I suppose. You have Betty, in fact,” she said, gentle in her tone, not needing to raise her sights to him. Subaru knew the pained expression she'd be holding and the image of it alone was enough to double the weight of his guilt.

He was about to respond, apologize, thank her, and tell her he doesn't deserve her all at once, but was cut off yet again. This time, the disturbance was from a substantially more annoying source.

“My oh my, loooook at the time. Reinhard-kuuuun, we'd best be goooooing now,” Roswaal announced in his usual joyful, benevolent tone.

The margrave's sudden interjection brought Subaru mixed feelings. On one hand, he had just found the perfect distraction from his negative mindset but, on the other hand, he now had to listen to Roswaal's voice instead of his darling Beako's. And since he was actively no longer thinking about all those bad thoughts, he was left with only annoyance and rage. The state of having mixed feelings did not last long. 

“Fucking clown always fucking getting in the way of everything. You're second on the kill list behind the cat man, now.”

“Understood, Roswaal-sama,” Reinhard replied, placing his spoon gently back down beside his bowl.

Subaru's frown turned to a scowl as he thought, “Well then, I thought it couldn't get worse. But Saint Shitface here always manages to fuck up my mood, even if it’s already awful.”

“Oi! Why're ya two off so quick like yer a needler on a swamptip?” Garfiel interjected, as angry as always.

Subaru's scowl deepened significantly but, with Beatrice holding him almost as tight as he held her, he merely glared at the tiger boy. “Of fucking course he'd join in too. And with more random nonsense to boot. This world's idioms are fucking stupid.”

The margrave stood up from his chair and smiled benevolently at the demihuman. At this, both Garfiel and Reinhard stood as well. Since Subaru's head was slightly cooler with his Beako in his arms, he decided to remain seated and dropped his sights downwards, listening in on the conversation as he played with the girl's hair.

“I know you won't but it would be so great if you could all just kill each other. Save me the trouble.”

The maid beside her master spoke on his behalf, turning to the tiger boy, “Garf, you missed it because of your dilly dallying on the way back from your morning routine but Roswaal-sama and Reinhard-sama will be leaving on a business venture shortly.”

Crossing his arms, he seemed rather unconvinced by this argument. And so, she continued, “One of Roswaal-sama's business partners claims to have information regarding Felt-sama and her whereabouts.”

Garfiel seemed surprised by this but became even more suspicious a moment later. His glare shifted to the clown in question as he said, “So yer tellin' me that ya suddenly found a lead after months of fruitless searchin'? Ya know, right when-”

“Garf.” The pink maid interrupted him, the authority in her voice as clear as day. He looked very unhappy about it but he kept his mouth shut.

“Aw hell, ya two ain't my amazin' self's problem anyways. I'm goin' back out to train,” Garfiel grumbled, walking out of the dining room somehow even unhappier than when he entered. 

“Garf aside, I believe it best that you leave promptly, Roswaal-sama, Reinhard-sama,” Ram said, addressing the remaining standing men. Her determined stance eased slightly and her elegant maid’s demeanor persisted.

Roswaal regarded his servant with an inquisitive look, his blue eye closed. After a moment, it opened once more and he replied, his usual jovial smile returning, “Indeeeeeed, Ram. We shall leave immeeeeeediately.”

The pair of master and maid moved to leave the dining room but stopped short at the door. Roswaal turned slightly, calling out to the Sword Saint as Ram grabbed ahold of the handle, “Reeeeinhard-kun, if you would.”

The red haired man had not yet moved. His sights were locked on the seated man he stood across from. It was clear that Subaru knew he was staring and was purposefully keeping his attention on the girl in his lap so as to not need to interact with Reinhard. It hurt a little but he understood. “Stay safe, Subaru. I will come should you call.”

Subaru would have retorted with a biting remark but, once he glanced up and saw the look of intense determination and concern on the knight's face, he paused. “It really is a new you, huh? I've never seen you this… protective. Even after everything I did, the only new emotion you could muster was rage. But this…”

He was amazed and amused by the Sword Saint once again.

“This is new.”

Around an hour later, Subaru was within one of the mansion's many grand gardens. He laid on the grass basking in the warm sunlight, Beatrice by his side. He had just finished yet another long winded story and the pair opted to share a comfortable silence for the time being, rather than continue.

" ...in the case that he truly, from the bottom of his heart, desires my assistance or presence"

He rolled onto his side and gently played with one of his contracted spirit's hair-drills. She made no move to stop him.

“What does that even mean? Could it really have such a condition? I really want to know how it wo-”

Suddenly, a loud crashing sound could be heard from about four meters behind the pair. They immediately jumped to their feet, hand in hand, ready to face whatever the threat was.

“Subaru, I am glad to see all is well.”

The dust around the figure cleared, revealing a handsome red haired man.

“Furthermore, I am overjoyed to know that you truly and whole-heartedly desired my presence for a full three seconds.”

His smile did nothing but irritate Subaru. 

“Fucking happy looking prick.”

“Aren't you supposed to be past Flugel's Tree by now?! Why are you here?!” Subaru asked, his accusatory tone doing nothing to hamper Reinhard's smile.

“The former site of Flugel's Tree, Flugel's Stump, is still quite far from our carriage, unfortunately,” Reinhard explained.

“What the fuck…? Why would you need to chop down that big ass tree, Natsuki Subaru?”

“As for your other question, I came as soon as you called.”

The tracksuit-clad man scoffed, crossed his arms, and looked away from the knight, saying, “Of course you did, Mr. Leap-tall-buildings-in-a-single-bound. What are you? Superman?”

Reinhard added yet another Subaruism to his mental list and said, “May I ask why you called? All seems well.”

His friend's silence was mildly disconcerting and so he followed up his question with a guess at his answer, “Perhaps you require my assistance for an approaching threat? I can sense no nearb-”

Subaru snapped at the Sword Saint, returning his sights to him, “I just wanted to see if the damn Divine Protection actually worked the way you said it did! I swear, you really gotta stop assuming my intentions.” 

“Prick.”

Reinhard took serious note of this and added it to the list of things he reaffirmed to himself every morning. It already took him a full five minutes to say it all aloud so what harm could one more do?

“Understood, Subaru. Is that a-”

“Just get out of here already!”

He gazed warmly at his friend and gave him a light nod. “I will see you again soon, Subaru.”

The same oddly protective smile adorned his face as he jumped gracefully through the lower Stratosphere and into the distance. Subaru whispered to himself as Reinhard's form was lost in the clouds and the impact crater he left vanished, “A new you, huh?”

EXHIBIT D - Somehow, Even Redder.

The same frozen forest. The same clear yet foggy memory. The same voice calling her name.

“Emilia!”

The half-elf's eyes shot open. Last night she was frankly too mentally exhausted to even dream properly. It felt like she layed down, recalled a memory, and suddenly morning rose.

But then, all of those worries and regrets began to creep up on her again. She felt the burden on her mind once more. She instinctively began to curl up into a ball as the temperature around her dropped.

“My fault. I froze them. I did it. It was all my fault. I killed Mother Fortuna. I hurt Geuse. I-”

" I'm a greedy, prideful bastard who wants even someone as incompetent and insufferable as you by my side."

Her magic faded with her worries, a smile coming to her.

“My Subaru~”

She hopped out of her bed and marched right to her eye of the storm.

Around an hour later, she woke up once again. This time she had not even a fraction of a dream. She closed her eyes, allowing the feeling of warm safety to surround her for a while, before opening them again. She hadn't had such a peaceful sleep in months - or even years at this point - and the feeling of relief elated her.

Rubbing her eyes and yawning loudly, she stretched her limbs out and sat up in bed, dishevelling some of the pristine linens around her. But something confused her.

“These sheets…”

Her relieved happiness shifted to embarrassed shock as she saw herself in Subaru's bed. Immediately, she lifted the coverings to see what lay underneath, feeling relief and an odd disappointment to see she was both clothed and alone.

Heaving a great sigh, Emilia relaxed her tensed muscles and leaned back against the headboard. She sat in silence for a moment, blushing at the recollection of what happened just before she passed out. 

“Subaru, you nincompoop.”

She jumped out of bed, marched over to the door, and walked out into the hall. Her face still reddened, Emilia declared to herself, “I promise I'll get you back for that! I'll k-kiss you and you'll be reeeally embarrassed!”

Several minutes later, Emilia was walking about the mansion alone, peaking in the odd open door for any sign of Subaru. At first, she walked at a leisurely pace, her mind still filled with the hazy comfort brought by the thoughts of her Subaru. 

She felt truly at ease.

But as room after room proved empty and the quiet of the halls grew more and more noticable, that which she had suppressed upon her first waking began to creep up on her.

A raging snowstorm. Ice coating the land. A forest coated in white.

Her pace quickened and the smile began to fade from her face.

A taller figure, standing across from her with mean and determined eyes. They were stern yet so loving. They were loving yet clearly panicked. She was barely holding it together.

Frost formed on the floor where she stepped and her walk turned to a jog.

“Emilia, I promise. You and I will always be together.”

Her jog sped to a run as she desperately threw open door after door and scanned room after room. Her once serene expression had fully shifted to one of panic, the emotions lining her memories now filling her heart in the present.

“More than anyone, Emilia… Lia… I love you more than anyone else in this world.”

The whole of the hall was covered with ice, lesser spirits crowded around her, and her run turned to a full on sprint through the mansion while the scenes of her past flooded her mind. She had to find Subaru. She had to find her eye of the storm.

Subaru was having a good time, all things considered. Beako was in his lap, the shade of the tree he was under made him really feel at one with nature, and Reinhard was no longer in the near vicinity.

With the knight's new attitude, Subaru found it difficult to even pretend to tolerate his presence anymore. On one hand, the change was fascinating and somewhat endear- “scratch that, Reinhard could never even exist within the same solar system as the word ‘endearing’” - but on the other hand it was infuriating in a way Subaru never expected Reinhard to be. Either way, it was not good for his mental health.

He leaned back onto the tree trunk, a smile on his face.

“His leaving has done wonders for my stress. I've got Beako right here and everything's looking juuuust fine.”

It takes a great deal of mental training and an alarming amount of emotional repression to be able to lie to yourself in your own thoughts. Yet, Subaru had also trained to hold onto that which comprised his being with an iron grip such that it would stay together even when shattered into thousands of pieces. So, given both of these unusual talents, despite his excellent work at forcing his highest order thoughts to think as if nothing was wrong, a non-insignificant part of him was always quietly nagging, “I am revolting. I don't deserve to be happy. I don't deserve Beako. I don't deserve Emilia. I don't deserve peace of mind.”

But those were pushed away as far as they could be. So long as his full attention was occupied, he didn't even have to think about his sins.

Unfortunately, his darling Beako had somehow noticed this clever use of a mask. “Betty's Subaru must be honest with her, in fact. You need to trust Betty with your problems, I suppose,” Beatrice said from her place on his lap, sounding impatient.

She had been slipping comments like this throughout their conversations since the early morning and it was growing more bothersome than endearing. Subaru frowned. It was getting annoying to have to constantly maneuver around them like they were potholes.

Right as he was about to delicately work his way around her words, her attention shifted from him as she turned to look back at the mansion. She crawled off of his lap and stood about two meters away from him, an exasperated yet relieved look on her face.

“Murak, in fact. She should be able to assist me in my efforts, I suppose,” Beatrice muttered, gazing into the distance.

He felt his weight decrease and instinctively questioned, but did not resist, her odd behavior. “Wh-”

He didn't even see it coming. One second, he was sitting with his legs crossed under the shade of a tree. And the next he was on his back, mildly concussed, fairly cold, and being held in an embrace so tight that his bones were beginning to break.

Had he not hit his head on the grass so hard, he would have realized who was hugging him and that he only survived thanks to the marginal safety his near-weightlessness brought him. Alas, he was dazed and could only think one thing: “Beautiful. Gorgeous, even. Stunning, really. I would do anything for you. I love you more than I could ever possibly love anything about myself.” But he did not just think this. He also said it aloud. 

“D-dummy Subaru. You're reeeeally going to make me faint again…” the half-elf said, raising her already reddened face, still holding him within her bone-crushing embrace.

As he was still quite dazed, he did not process what she said and continued thinking out loud. 

“Your eyes are shining jewels of unparalleled value. Your hair is so, so beautiful even when it's cut short like that. I never thought I could like short hair but you've proven me wrong, Emilia-tan.”

At this point, Emilia had sat up and covered her incredibly reddened face with her hands. At the same time, Beatrice sighed and walked over to her downed contractor.

“Your whole face is enchanting. Your ears are so damn cute I just want to nibble on them. Your lips look so soft I just want to kiss yo-”

Beatrice flicked him in the forehead. He reflexively reached for the irritated spot and turned towards her, saying, “Hey! What was that for?!”

Beatrice, her arms crossed and as exasperated as ever, replied, “You should have more thought when you speak, I suppose.”

“When I speak…?”

His sights followed her extended finger to what she was gesturing towards: the half-elf who was still straddling him.

All at once, his senses came back to him. He realized that not only was Emilia dangerously close to his crotch, but that he had also just said something incredibly embarrassing to her. 

“I hope it wasn't my whole thought process. She'd probably run away if it was my who-”

“S-Subaru… y-you want us to k-k-kiss too?” the half-elf stammered, barely able to form coherent thoughts, let alone express said thoughts.

If Subaru were a computer, he would have automatically powered off due to an overheated processor. Unfortunately, he only had his human-sized brain to comprehend the meaning of the words just spoken to him. And so, instead, he simply clung onto the last logically processed thought his brain mustered before it was overloaded.

“Want us to kiss too… too… an implication of agreement… someone other than myself wants me to kiss her… it could be Beako… but that doesn't feel right… so that means that Emilia…”

He felt her collapse back onto him, her head landing on his chest. 

Sighing yet again, Beatrice rubbed the bridge of her nose as she said, “That silly girl managed to faint again, in fact. You're both hopeless, I suppose.”

Subaru laid his head gently back onto the grass and held the unconscious girl tight. He gazed into the sky with rather tired eyes. 

“Emilia-tan… we have a lot to talk about…”

He let himself fall into a peaceful slumber, his beloved in his arms.

An unending void. Darkne-

“Not this shit again!”

The moment Subaru found himself within what he likes to call the Shadow Realm, he instantly willed his physical form into existence. He spoke out to the empty plane around him, “Listen up! As much as I appreciate what you've done for me, Satella, I don't want to be ending up here every time I fall unconscious! I've got better shit to do!”

The empty plane answered back in a rather condescending tone, “‘Better shit to do’, huh? When speaking to someone, it's only fair to value each member of the conversation's time is it not? It seems you're implying that your time is more valuable than mine. What gives you the right to trample on my-”

Cutting the rather annoying man off, Subaru shot back, “Oh for fuck's sake will you just shut up already?! I had enough of your stupid ramblings when I burned down your fucking mansion!” 

The nondescript man frowned deeply, closing his eyes and beginning a rather long winded speech, “Now listen here, not only is it unthinkably rude to interrupt someone as they're talking but it's just as much of an offense to my rights to lie plainly to my face.”

“Oh my fucking God can I please just leave already I can't deal with him right now.” Subaru thought, instantly tired of Regulus’s shit.

“And what makes you think some insignificant worm like you could follow through with such an act? Of course, it's because you're a liar. You're standing in the presence of a truly satisfied existence like mysel-”

“Nope. I'd rather be stuck in my own head than listen to more of this.”

Subaru tuned out Regulus's rant as he found himself deep in thought once again. The mountain of things he had been refusing to allow to surface since the morning - or perhaps even earlier - flooded into the forefront of his mind. The plain man's rambling acted as excellent white noise to stimulate his thinking.

“So, none of it was necessary. None of what I did was worth a damn to anyone, myself included. But…”

The words of a sad, lonely, little girl forcibly changed the tone of his thoughts: “AND WHAT NOW, I SUPPOSE?! WHAT WAS ALL OF IT FOR, IN FACT?!"

“I can't just die. I can't just walk away from all that's happened. And yet…”

The calculating words of a terrible man wormed their way into his mind: " Unless… are you not truly Natsuki Subaru?"

“I'm just a fraud living the life of a better man. Sure, he made mistakes but at least he tried to save them. At least he tried to be a good man. At least he…”

The little girl's words, taken from his other self, returned, overpowering the clown's: " Even if the flames of regret don't seem like they're vanishing right now, if you keep pouring them out maybe they'll vanish someday."

“It can't be that simple. It isn't right for someone like me. Someone so inferior to him to…”

Her words once again shifted the tone, pushing him closer to the truth: " You may not remember it but you took everything from me, in fact! I cursed your name for what you did to me, I suppose!"

“In the pursuit of his own one goal, he hurt everyone in his life.”

More calculating words came to him, but from a source with even greater manipulative tendencies: " the Sword Saint is not insane but is merely filled with self hatred, Subaru gave him a place to go after secretly taking away the place he was already happy at, he hopes to be Subaru's friend but thinks himself unworthy, and he had his trust in the one person he can still rely on shatter to pieces."

“If this is all the case…”

Images of the look of pain on Emilia's face and the desperation-filled Sword Saint flooded into his mind. But they were mixed images. The silver hair was both short and long. Those piercing blue eyes were lined with concern and hate. The mistakes of both Natsuki Subarus, both Echidna's Contractor and the Sin Archbishop of Pride, floated in his head in an overlapping jumble.

“How different even are we? Can I be better? Can I really… change?”

Several voices all rang out in unison to answer his question:

" Are you really Onii-san? You look too alive to be him."

" You know Subaru, ever since yesterday you've been acting reeeally strange."

" That would have likely worked on any other impatient, rash Natsuki Subaru. But you're different."

And yet, he rejected them.

“But those are just the acknowledgements of a broken man. Of a pair of broken men. Neither of us could be what Natsuki Subaru ought to be. Neither of us could be truly human. We're both insane madmen…”

At his lowest point of despair, when his thoughts had reached a hopeless conclusion, he heard silver bells ring out in his mind: " Even after everything you've been through, everything you've done, you're still my Subaru."

But they were not the words of his Emilia-tan.

" I will always love you. Please, this time, try to love yourself too. Want more than to fulfill your one goal."

And yet,

" Natsuki Subaru… Be Greedy."

They held authority over his heart all the same.

“More, huh?”

" I WANT MY FUCKING HAPPY ENDING ALREADY!"

“No, not a Happy Ending.”

He looked down at his own two hands. They were slowly vanishing. He clenched his fists.

" A new you, huh?"

“A Second Chance. A Second Chance to be Natsuki Subaru again. A Second Chance to be a new me. A Second Chance to be human.”

Ignoring the complaints of the plain looking man before him, Subaru let his consciousness fade as he returned to the real world once more.

“Thank you, again, Satella.”

Subaru's eyes lazily fluttered open. He found himself once again under the shade of a tree, wind shifting the leaves above him. The warm feeling of serenity he usually only got from his beloved filled him after his recollection of the Witch's words. He wasn't quite sure what to make of it so he decided to just allow himself to enjoy it while it lasted.

“I wish I could stay here forever. I've never woken up so peacefully before…”

He tilted his head and looked down to notice that his beloved was still silently sleeping on him, having not moved whatsoever.

“I guess that's in no small part why.”

He heard a familiar voice ring out from beside him. It sounded rather annoyed yet relieved at the same time. 

“It's good to see you're finally awake, I suppose. That infuriating pink maid came demanding your presence and would have dragged you off to dinner had Betty not stopped her, in fact.”

He shifted his sights over to his contracted spirit. Beatrice was sitting quite elegantly on the grass and had the demeanor of a slighted noble's child, complete with pout. 

“First she refuses to bring you food when I requested it and now she thinks to harm Betty's Subaru… who does that rude girl think she is?!”

Still basking in the afterglow of a good nap and a renewed will to live, Subaru answered the question with complete seriousness and his full attention, more glad than ever to have his Beako in his life, “If I had to guess, I'd say probably the tool of that clown… but it feels like they've been on a different wavelength recently.”

The thought of Roswaal and Ram spoiled his mood a bit but with Emilia still laying on him and Beatrice by his side, he was still dozens of times happier than usual. 

“Ronald McDonald is looking at me like I'm worth serving twenty-five to life in prison for while Resting Bitch Face seems like she thinks I took a dump in the ball pit and gave her kid fucking Cholera,” he thought aloud, placing a hand on his chin.

Beatrice was unable to keep up with the high density of Subaruisms used in that sentence and did not form a response before he continued. 

“What is a ball pit, in fact?”

“Well, so long as neither of them fuck with me I won't fuck with them. For now at least. They might have a place in whatever Emilia-tan wants to do, after all,” Subaru concluded, dismissing the undesirable thoughts from his mind and returning to vibing in the garden. His stomach audibly growled shorter thereafter, earning yet another sigh from Beatrice. “By my count, that's about a dozen so far. I guess I'm just really good at exasperating her.”

“It's time to head off for dinner, I suppose. You slept through lunch, in fact,” Beatrice said, framing it as a statement of fact rather than a request or demand.

Finding it incredibly endearing, Subaru gave her a nod and a smile, appreciative of her concern. “Alright, just give me a sec to get up.”

He attempted to slip out from under Emilia, who he had been trying to not get lost in the feeling of, but was immediately grabbed by her arms and held even tighter. 

“Noooo, Subaru. You need to stay riiight here,” Emilia mumbled, still held deep within the confines of sleep.

“That's the most adorable thing I've ever seen in my life. We should definitely cuddle more often.” Subaru thought, trying his absolute hardest to resist her charms. He continued to struggle against her grip but his efforts ended up pulling him even closer to her. She was no longer resting on his chest. Instead, she placed her head to the left of his and pressed herself even tighter onto him.

Subaru, quickly becoming overwhelmed by the situation, pleaded with his beloved, “Emilia-tan, you're gonna kill me if you keep this up! Please, let go!”

“She's not budging or listening no matter how much I struggle or yell right into her ear... Her ear…”

Given their positioning, Emilia's left ear was right in front of Subaru's face. He basked in its full, pointy, elven glory.

“I always thought they were cute but now…”

In that moment, he wanted nothing more than to do a single thing. Even the feeling of her body on his was nothing compared to this desire.

“I better not get a fucking ear fetish after this.”

He leaned forward slightly and nibbled on the pointy tip of the half-elf's ear. It was an odd but incredibly pleasant experience that he was disturbed to be aroused by.

Emilia instantly jolted awake and flew out of Subaru's grasp, landing on the ground beside him, stammering, “Su-su-su-subaru!”

Her face surpassed the generally accepted limits of red and turned to a never before even conceptualized shade of crimson. She reached a hand to touch her slightly wettened ear, eyes still on Subaru. 

“I-I-I'm really sensitive there, you know…”

He felt a little guilty and joined in on the blushing. Apologizing, he said, “Ah, I didn't think you'd be so mad about that-”

He was quickly cut off by the King Candidate grabbing his hands and giving him a stern look. 

“I'm not mad! I can't be truly mad at my Subaru. Not after everything you've done for me.”

Subaru found this incredibly adorable and, seizing the golden opportunity to tease her, asked, “So you enjoyed it, then?”

The redness of Emilia’s face somehow managed to find a way to intensify and she looked away from him, still holding his hands in hers. Not meeting his eye, she said, “Just, just ask before you do something like that n-next time.”

His own face matched hers at her mention of a ‘next time’. 

“I love you so much, Emilia-tan. You really are an angel.”

She raised her sights to meet his once more. They silently stared into each other's eyes as they began to lean closer and closer. Their faces were only a few centimeters apart.

And then, Subaru's stomach let out an obnoxiously loud growl that was followed by the slapping sound of Beatrice facepalming, hard.

Sighing deeply for what felt like the dozenth time, Beatrice said, “Betty's Subaru needs to eat now, I suppose. We should head off to dinner promptly, in fact.”

The couple stood from the grass, incredibly embarrassed, and released part of their grasp on each other. His right hand remained interlocked with her left as they turned towards the mansion. They were both still quite flushed.

“That was close… but she was leaning in too? Does she really…”

“I was so close! I almost kissed him! Next time, I swear I'll do it!”

Their thoughts were plain on their faces to the singular observer of the half-elf and human.

“I wonder if there's another way to say "hopeless", I suppose,” Beatrice mused. The spirit girl took her contractor's free left hand as they went on their way.

EXHIBIT E - A Slightly Less Disastrous Dinner

The trio arrived at the dining room rather early. All three of the mansion's maids were busy in the kitchen so Emilia, Subaru, and Beatrice took their seats at the table and continued to idly chat as they waited.

They rearranged the chairs such that Subaru's, whose was in the middle, was brought a meter or two away from the table while Emilia and Beatrice's were each turned towards the black haired man’s. They effectively sat in a small triangle, all within each others' lines of sight. This gave Subaru the feeling of being around an invisible campfire and put him in a story-telling mood.

“…so then, the motherfucker has the audacity to say ‘I can't beat the shit out of you without getting closer’. I swear, the balls on that man must have been made of fucking titanium or something,” Subaru said, enraptured in his own story telling. He was eager to bring them to the climactic finish and his all time favorite part of one of his favorite stories when he was suddenly interrupted.

“You know Subaru, you swear a loooot more than you used to,” Emilia commented, a look of slight confusion on her face.

If it was literally anyone else, Subaru’s reaction would have ranged from angry to homicidal, but, since it was his beloved that spoke, he didn't mind whatsoever. 

“Ah, sorry about that. Does it bother you?” he asked, casually addressing her comment.

Emilia shook her head and lovingly gazed at him, a soft smile on her face. “I'm just happy my Subaru is being his honest self around me.”

Subaru’s heart skipped a beat and he lost himself in her amethyst eyes. They seemed so pure, so unsullied by the taint of the world. “She's literally perfect in every way. I don't want her anymore, I NEED her. But…”

“Emilia-tan?” he asked, suppressing the blush on his face as best he could.

She tilted her head in response, maintaining her smile. “Yes, Subaru?”

He took a second to burn the wonderful image into his mind before continuing, “Can, can we talk later? Like, after dinner?”

She seemed a tad confused and placed a finger on her chin. “Why can't we talk right now?”

He had to consciously suppress his obsessive thoughts to focus on answering her question. It was exceedingly difficult but he somehow managed. “Well, it's really important and I don't want it to be interr-”

The dining room doors slammed open with a loud thud, startling Subaru and Emilia, who were too focused on each other to see it coming, and annoying Beatrice, who still flinched despite anticipating it.

“Oi! 's like a coocow's nest after a rainstorm in here!” a familiar blonde boy remarked, striding through the now open doorway and walking straight towards his usual spot.

“That. I don't want that to happen,” Subaru explained with a frown, gesturing to the obnoxious intruder. 

The usually oblivious half-elf somehow understood what he meant and hesitantly agreed to his proposal, “Alright, Subaru. But don't you try to skedaddle before then!” 

He gave a soft chuckle as he stood to move his chair back to the table. “No one says ‘skedaddle’ anymore, Emilia-tan.”

While he was busy, the two girls caught each other's gaze. Beatrice looked expectantly at her contractor's beloved. “Don't forget what Betty taught you, I suppose.”

Emilia blushed in response. “I'll do it! I'll kiss my Subaru!”

The pair then turned their own chairs around as Subaru sat and glared at the demihuman - who was already giving him the stink eye - across the table. “What's your problem?” Subaru asked, legitimately curious despite his taunting tone.

The tiger boy sneered at him. It was nothing compared to what Regulus was capable of. Subaru was unfazed.

“Yer face,” Garfiel said, seeming proud of himself.

“Really? That's the best he could come up with?”

“Is there something on it?” Subaru asked, already growing bored of his opponent’s lackluster performance.

Garfiel’s sneer shifted to a smirk. This was also paltry compared to Regulus. Subaru remained unfazed.

“Yeah. 's the look of some stuck up dipshit who's suddenly turned into a murderous stuck up dipshit,” Garfiel replied, even more proud of himself.

Subaru was slightly taken aback by this, but maintained his composure. His calm facade held firm but his mind was immediately put on edge. “Does he know?”

He was going to respond but, at that moment, the side door to the kitchen opened up and all three maids entered with the meal for the evening. Well, Petra and the yellow-haired maid carried the meals. Ram walked in with her arms crossed and her sights on Garfiel.

“Garf,” Ram said, visibly displeased. Well, more displeased than usual.

The demihuman looked rather unhappy about it but decided to hold his tongue for the time being. He trusted Ram's judgement and didn't want her to think less of him. He wasn't some impatient brat, after all.

“My amazin' self'll get him soon enough.”

For dinner, the nice blonde tiger lady, Petra, and probably not Ram had prepared and served a rather simple but seemingly tasty dish: several platters of well-seasoned grilled fish along with a whole basket of steamed potatoes. Honestly, Subaru didn't think the meal was too grand or special - the steamed potatoes being especially plain - but at least it wasn't the same unappetizing godforsaken soup as last time. This alone made the meal exquisite in Subaru's book.

Part of the way through dinner - well, part of the way through Garfiel and Subaru's dinner, Beatrice and Emilia knew how to show some restraint - the blonde maid and Petra stood at the dining room doorway and spoke to the group.

Clearing her throat and bringing the room’s attention to her with trained elegance, the yellow maid politely said, “I apologize for the abrupt departure, but, as we are running low on supplies, I must take Petra with me to purchase additional provisions in Costuul. We should return by dusk and I hope that our absence will cause no problems for any of you.”

“Wow. She's really just the model of a maid, huh? You know what? You're on the keep-alive list now, buddy. Until I figure out your name, I'll avoid getting you killed. Unless it's annoying. Then you're as good as dead,” Subaru thought, still genuinely impressed by her skill. 

The maid duo bowed and exited the dining room, closing the doors behind them. As soon as they left, Ram served an extra meal to the spot beside Garfiel and took a seat there. Subaru raised his eyebrow at this action. “Isn't it improper for a maid to eat in the dining room like that?”

She shot back instantly before calmly taking a bite of a steamed potato, “Isn't it improper to pretend to be someone you're not?”

Since Garfiel already made a similar comment, Subaru managed to keep on his poker face. “Oh she definitely knows. Don't want to give them any information though. I'm not sure about what exactly they know.”

“What are you getting at?” Subaru asked, leaning forward in his chair and placing his elbows on the table.

Since Ram was mid-bite, Garfiel, who had already scarfed down two whole grilled fish, responded in her stead, regaining his earlier smirk, “Yer just as annoyin' but yer not the same bastard as before now are ya?”

Subaru held his poker face and narrowed his eyes, but the half-elf beside him managed to respond before he did. 

“Subaru is Subaru! Stop being so mean to him!” Emilia yelled, standing from her seat and slamming the table in front of her. 

Ram lightly pushed her plate forward, placing the potato with a single bite upon it, and glared at the one who her master supports, speaking with a rather icy tone, “That man is just as much Barusu as Ram is ugly.”

Subaru crossed his arms and smirked. “So... very much so?”

Garfiel violently thrust out of his seat and positioned himself to lunge across the table, but Emilia had simultaneously stood and instantly trapped him in ice. He struggled to break free but wasn't nearly strong enough as Emilia was constantly reinforcing it with her mana. In fact, it seemed like his flesh was starting to freeze as well.

Only a second later, Ram stood with her wand at the ready while Subaru grabbed Beatrice's hand and mentally prepared himself to cast any number of magical spells. The artificial spirit spoke quickly to her contractor, stuck in a stand-off against the oni maid, “Subaru, Betty does not think this battle wise, I suppose. We can easily win but the damage and consequences would be far too severe, in fact.”

Subaru considered her words for a short moment before clicking his tongue, annoyed. He let go of Beatrice's hand and approached Emilia, his arms outstretched. 

“Emilia-tan, calm your magic,” Subaru requested, his tone as gentle and as kind as he could make it.

He brought her into a tight embrace, causing her to relax significantly and shift her attention away from her opponent. 

“I'm here. I'm safe. I'm okay,” he whispered right into her ear, the feeling of his breath brushing against it sending a satisfied chill down her spine.

The ice glowed and vanished, releasing the partially frozen Garfiel. He angrily sat back down, using his healing magic to defrost himself as Ram sheathed her wand, calmly returning to her seat. Once Subaru was satisfied with his hug, the trio on the other side of the table followed suit.

Seemingly fighting through the pain, the blonde demihuman spoke up, significantly less smug, “And now what, you fake bastard?”

Subaru leaned back in his chair and relaxed his body, looking up at the ceiling for a moment. He sighed and returned his sights to the pair across the table, saying, “I don't know if it's possible to prove who I am to you guys.” 

“They are kinda right, after all.”

He stretched slightly and sat up straight, gazing at the visibly cautious oni maid and raising a single finger. “But I do know a way that we can cut through a portion of this tension,” Subaru started, an interesting and fun idea coming to mind.

A slightly mad yet cunning smile grew on his face while Ram's eyes narrowed further. “There's a game from my hometown that's perfect for this sort of revenge-filled atmosphere…”

He was totally prepared to pitch his idea and convince the reluctant pair across from him. But the pink maid spoke before he could continue, her eyes still narrowed. 

“Would it be the King's Game?”

“How the hell- oh, right, other me.”

The madness in smile diminished but the cunning remained. Ram's look softened slightly as she adopted a smug smirk.

“Yep,” Subaru confirmed, trying to not seem slighted. “Does anyone not know the rules?”

Garfiel snickered but it was clear that his heart wasn't in it. He was in too much pain to do it properly. And even then, it wouldn't have affected the target of his aggression. It just came off as half-assed and confused.

“I don't and, even if I did, I wouldn't play along,” Garfiel said, icy.

The pink oni leveled her usual glare at the boy beside her, the expression she directed towards Subaru vanishing in an instant. “Garf.”

This time, the demihuman's frustration had won out over his patience and his submission to his crush's will. He turned his attention to her and began to argue, “No, Ram. I respect ya but we can't just keep lettin' him go like this! Who knows what the bastard is up to?!”

Ram directed her strongest glare at him, to which he resisted only a moment before faltering. The spectacle was so close to impressing Subaru that he had to suppress his urge to cackle.

“Fine, FINE! I'll play yer stupid game,” Garfiel finally conceeded. He seemed incredibly unhappy with this arrangement, as usual, but Subaru paid it little mind.

The tracksuit-clad man began to explain the game to the now defrosted boy, “The rules are simple. But first, we need lots with the numbers one through four on them along with a fifth one that denotes the King.”

As he was about to ask if they could use whatever they did last time, he saw the familiar glow of his beloved's magic out of the corner of his eye. He turned to see that she had practically instantly created what he had just described along with a small cup to hold them in. Emilia beamed at him as she held it out for him to see. 

“Look, Subaru! I even made the extra one have a little you on it!”

He examined the lots, noting that they met all the requirements. He found the chibi picture of himself giving a thumb's up that adorned the King's lot rather endearing, especially since there was a not-so-subtle heart imprinted behind it. 

“Was that even intentional? And I wonder what else she can make with this ice if it can produce such intricate detail… Questions for later, I guess.”

“Mazel tov,” Subaru mumbled, genuinely impressed. He looked up at the incredibly proud and smug girl. At such a sight, he could only do one thing: give her a head pat.

At his touch, Emilia nuzzled the top of her head into his palm and a wide smile and light blush grew on her face. His eyes widened at the adorable sight as he muttered to himself, a warmth filling his chest and his face slightly flushing, “E… M… T… Emilia-tan Maji Tenshi…”

At his words, Emilia glanced up at Subaru, absolutely beaming. It had been too long since she had heard him say that and the familiar line filled her with unbridled joy.

After a rather long moment, Subaru returned his sights to the scowling Garfiel, who looked a second away from yelling at him to hurry up, and continued his explanation, clearing his throat and putting his poker face back on. It took a few seconds for him to stop uncontrollably smiling.

“ Ahem. Now, we each choose a lot at random. Whoever gets the one with the little me on it is the King. The King must then, using the numbers randomized by the drawing rather than names, order their ‘subjects’ to perform any action they demand,” Subaru explained, still all smiley.

Garfiel thought over the rules for a second before adopting a wide smile. He knew that this game would be perfect for Ram. Once she drew the King's lot, she could just use her Clairvoyance to figure out the bastard's number and ask him any number of useful questions.

“Ram, my amazin' self should've never doubted ya. Might as well play along, then.”

“Ha! My amazin' self'll give ya a mighty fine order,” Garfiel declared, full of confidence.

Subaru seemed confused by the tiger boy's enthusiasm but pressed on anyway. 

“Does he not get that they're randomized? Whatever…”

“Exactly, it is the perfect chance for revenge. Although, you should take care not to inflict your punishment on an ally.” 

“Or don't. I'd love to see you two destroy each other.”

He reflected on his own thought process for a moment, recalling his recent trip to the shadowy garden.

“I think I should try to be less… murderous in my thinking. I'm pretty sure that normal, human people don't think like this. As a stopgap, I'll put a moratorium on killing people.”

He then noted his own emotions and impulsive desires. He sighed.

“I guess that has to include the clown, tiger boy, and pink maid, then. Fuck my life.”

The group of five stood in a circle off to one side of the dining room. Ram had her arms crossed, Garfiel glared at Subaru while glancing at Ram occasionally, Emilia struggled to contain her excitement as she stared at the lots, Beatrice looked incredibly fed up with the whole situation, and Subaru suppressed a cackle. “Quite the Breakfast Club we've got going on here.”

Subaru held the icy cup out for them to draw from.

Being the closest, Beatrice quickly grabbed the nearest lot and gracefully returned to her previous position.

Emilia skipped over and took a random lot, flashing Subaru a wide smile that made his whole chest warm considerably.

Ram grabbed hers while glaring at the now smiling idiot. Her sneer of disgust did nothing to dampen his mood.

Garfiel casually strolled up to Subaru with one hand behind his head and snatched a lot with the other before wordlessly strolling away.

Lastly, Subaru took the remaining lot and saw a little him engraved upon it. He placed the cup on the nearby table and turned to face the group.

“Well this is nice, I get to be the King first, huh?” Subaru said aloud.

Emilia and Beatrice seemed excited - the former purely because of the game itself and the latter because she knew there was a reasonably possible chance that her contractor would immediately end this farce with an unreasonable command - while Ram and Garfiel eyed him cautiously.

Reading the room, Subaru decided to take the safe route.

“This'll be no fun if they quit on round one so I might as well start them off easy.”

“Ok. Number… three, I order you to grab Number... one by the waist and toss them into the air,” Subaru ordered.

Garfiel perked up and cracked his knuckles, a smirk on his face. He seemed legitimately excited to fulfill the request. 

“Alright then, who does my amazin' self gotta chuck up in the air? Princess? Lil' girl?”

The half-elf and great spirit both showed their lots to him, giving an apologetic smile and smug smirk respectively, revealing the numbers two and four.

“Wait, that means…”

He turned to his crush, his smirk vanishing. 

“Ra-ram?” he stammered out, a touch of fear in his voice.

She was glaring at Subaru, hard. It was almost on par with something Regulus could manage. It greatly impressed him.

“It almost makes me not want to kill you, Ram… Almost.”

She heaved a large sigh and looked at the anxious boy, rather annoyed. 

“Well? If you don't hurry up, Ram will grow old and die,” Ram said, her tone sharp and unforgiving.

He approached her and cautiously grasped her waist, careful not to touch the rest of her body more than necessary, and lifted her gently off the ground.

“Well, here goes nothin'”

Subaru looked on as Garfiel audibly gulped and tossed Ram up into the air lightly, as instructed.

And, by lightly, Subaru meant her head gently grazed against the rather high up ceiling of the dining room. And, by gently, he meant it slammed right into it with a loud thud, leaving a sizable dent, before Ram fell back down, landing on her feet.

Garfiel looked rather pale once he saw that he did not, in fact, toss her lightly. Sure, he didn't throw her hard by any means, but it certainly wasn't light.

Ram dusted off her hair and glared at the boy beside her hard enough to kill. 

“You are responsible for fixing any and all damages to this room from now on, Garf. Do I make myself clear?” Ram spat, her voice oozing with venom and malice.

Garfiel staggered back slightly, faltering at the pressure of her contempt. “C-crystal.”

“O-okay then, time for round two!” Subaru announced, equally surprised and impressed.

“Now THAT was a look even Regulus couldn't produce. Good work, Ram.”

“Betty is the King, in fact.”

The spirit girl softly regarded the chibi Subaru displayed on the lot. 

“Betty wishes her Subaru could smile like that more, I suppose.”

“Well? Ya gonna give us our orders?” Garfiel asked, quickly growing impatient at her silence.

At the tiger boy's voice, that still seemed slightly shaky despite the gusto put into it, the warmth left her eyes and she looked around at the group.

“This game is beneath me but I shall indulge my hopeless contractor… I really must think of another word beside hopeless…”

She closed her eyes and waved her hand at the group, defaulting to an answer that involved a new concept her contract told her about earlier that day.

Sighing, Beatrice gave her command, “Number two and number four, enter a contest of strength with each other, I suppose. Make it an ‘arm wrestling competition’, in fact.”

She may have said those words in a rather bored voice but Garfiel was nothing but ecstatic at her order. Not only was he to pit his strength against someone else, but it was to be in a way he'd never even heard of before! 

“Hell yeah! My amazin' self misjudged ya, girlie,” he said with true strength in his voice, his earlier anxiety fading.

While Beatrice ignored the excited boy, Subaru looked down at his lot. “Three.”

He felt relieved at not having to participate but considered the possibility anyway.

“Honestly, I probably wouldn't stand a chance against him even with Beako and my… huh, I forgot to actually give it a name. I'll put that on the to-do list. It's just after the talk with Emilia-tan but before I need to sit down and figure out my stance on who I can and can't kill.”

He looked up at the remaining two players who had yet to announce their numbers.

“I hope it's Ram again. I don't want anyone touching my Emilia-tan, let alone fighting her. But knowing my lu-”

The girl he was staring at gave a courteous smile as she turned to the excited boy, saying, “Please go easy on me~”

“FUCK! OF FUCKING COURSE.”

Off to the side of the dining room, where they had been playing the game this whole time, there now stood a simple icy table. It stood at about chest level for the two contestants and made for the perfect battleground for their arm wrestling.

Emilia and Garfiel stood on either side of it, their hands held in position, waiting for the signal to start. Beatrice stood perpendicular to either of them, looking up at the table that was too tall for her to see the top of. Subaru and Ram stood a few meters from the table and from each other, opposite of Beatrice, seeming like proud parents at a little league baseball game.

“Garf,” Ram called out. She dismissed her urge to preemptively attack the man beside her, whose blood lust for the tiger boy was clear as day.

The demihuman turned to her with a neutral expression, still focused on the upcoming contest.

“Don't embarrass Ram. Again,” Ram commanded.

He nodded with a smirk and gazed at his opponent.

“Emilia-tan,” Subaru called out. He suppressed his urge to run at the barbarian touching his beloved and to tear him limb from limb.

She turned to him, a wide smile coming to her face, her attention totally shifting to her Subaru.

“Do your best! I'll be rooting for you!” Subaru cheered. He gave her the same thumbs up and smile that was present on the King's lot. This brought great satisfaction to both his beloved and his contracted spirit, the latter of whom could see him through the space under the table. 

Emilia turned back to her opponent, a fire in her eyes. 

“Subaru said to do my best! I won't hold back! I'll make my Subaru proud!”

“My amazin' self'll go easy on her. She might be strong but I don't wanna hurt her if I can help it.”

“Start, I suppose.”

Emilia instantly put her full force into slamming his hand down. In a fraction of a second, Garfiel had already lost the contest, but did not even consider giving up. He put his full strength into his arm, beginning a partial transformation and gritting his teeth, but it wasn't enough.

Emilia did not stop either, she pushed his hand further down, destroying the icy table top, and flinging him towards the ground with incredible force. Their hands separated and he was sent straight through the floor, shattering the pristine pattern that adorned it, and about two meters into the earth below. He would have kept digging himself downwards had he not activated his Divine Protection of Earth Spirits to cushion and slow his descent.

After he finally stopped, more surprised than injured, he used his Divine Protection to mold the earth around him to fling himself back up into the dining room and close up the hole he had made with his body, inadvertently spraying dirt everywhere.

The whole ordeal had lasted less than five seconds.

“Emilia wins, I suppose,” Beatrice announced with the same bored voice, having not moved from her spot despite the destruction of the table and ground before her.

Dusting himself off, Garfiel reflected on what had just occurred. He was more impressed than offended. “My amazin' self has gotta stop underestimatin' opponents. Or… overestimatin' myself? I'll think on it later.”

He sighed to himself as he turned to Ram with a tired expression. “I know, I know, I'll clean it up later,” he said, already anticipating her disappointment.

She just shook her head at the boy, thinking, “I suppose there were worse ways he could have embarrassed Ram.”

Standing next to her was a rather shocked Subaru. To him, the match started, the table exploded, Garfiel basically teleported, and Emilia remained standing.

“I- What- How- the fuck?”

Jumping in place, Emilia stretched her arms into the air and triumphantly shouted, “V-Victory!” She then ran towards him and pulled him into a crushing hug, nuzzling her head into the crook of his neck.

“I won! Are you proud of me, Subaru?” Emilia asked, beaming.

There were many things on his mind at that moment but, for some reason, the one that superseded them all was a thought concerning his potential future.

“If she's strong enough to do that to Garfiel and powerful enough to shatter my bones effortlessly with every hug then…”

A genuinely worried look developed on his face.

“I'm scared for the integrity of my pelvis.”

“Please be gentle, Emilia-tan.”

Emilia looked down at the lot she had drawn. It had a familiar little Subaru on it.

“Finally!”

She smirked to herself and looked around at everyone else's lots.

“Let's see…”

Emilia, just before the first round but just after Subaru had inspected them, secretly and silently put minute bumps on the back of each lot that she was fairly certain only she could both notice and make out from a distance. Even if they weren't visible while in the cup, she could see them when the lots were held out in the open.

“Subaru always said it's wrong to cheat but…”

She figured out what she wanted to know and brought her gaze back to her own lot.

“I made a promise and I intend to keep it! I will kiss my Subaru by the end of the day!”

“So? Who's the King?” Subaru asked a few silent seconds after everyone drew their lots.

Emilia gave an excited smile and showed off her lot to the group.

In response, Subaru smirked and gave her an over-the-top bow, saying, “Please bequeath unto us your majesty's divine will.”

Emilia instinctively pouted at his teasing but, this time, she had a way to get him back that he'd never expect. She smirked as she spoke, “Number one, give the King a k-kiss.”

Subaru tensed for a moment, exited his bow, and looked at his lot once more. “Number One.”

He turned to Emilia who stared at him intently with a smug look and started, “Emilia-tan…”

“Y-yes, Subaru?” Emilia replied. Her smugness was being overpowered by the embarrassment such a request naturally brought.

“Did you know that I'd be number one?” Subaru asked.

Emilia was not expecting this question and could not put on a poker face even if she did.

“Ah, no, definitely not, I just had a lucky guess is all,” she lied.

Subaru feigned a betrayed look and said, “So you were fine with just anyone kissing you?”

Her smug and embarrassed demeanor instantly vanished as she jumped to defend herself, “NO! I'd only want my Subaru to-”

She realized what she was saying as she said it and hid her face in her hands. The pink oni seemed legitimately shocked for a moment before leveling one of her lesser glares at the half-elf, saying, “Emilia-sama… so you admit to cheating, then?”

She peaked through the gaps between her fingers at the maid and muttered, “I- well- ummm-”

She looked at the ground, hands moving back to her sides, thinking, “I'm such a dunderhead! I should have listened to my Subaru! Subaru's always right and I didn't trust him… I'm so stupid! I-”

Her thought process instantly halted as she felt a soft presence on her cheek. It had lasted for less than a second but the whole of her attention was brought to savor the fleeting feeling.

She turned to see a flushed Subaru standing directly beside her, moving away slightly. She reached to touch the spot with a shocked expression.

He looked away and scratched his own cheek out of nervousness. “You may have cheated but… I still have to respect the rules of the game so… that's all you'll get out of me this time, Emilia-tan.”

His bashful display was then teased by both Ram and Beatrice but Emilia didn't even register that. She just stared at him, transfixed. She was as still as a statue as she held her cheek.

“I- I feel so warm inside… I never want to stop feeling like this… Is-is this…”

She cautiously let the forbidden thought complete itself:

“Is this what you call Love, Subaru?”

EXHIBIT F - Nevermind, Shit’s Fucked

Ram looked down at the lot she had just drawn. She held her usual neutral expression as a mixture of relief and excitement filled her. “King.”

She brought her sights to Subaru, took a deep breath, and closed her eyes. It was finally time to put her plan into action.

The group had just drawn lots for the fourth round of the King's Game. The tension that had previously filled the air was far less prevalent and it could be said that they were on the cusp of having fun.

But then, out of nowhere, Ram fell to the ground, dropping her King's lot. She began convulsing on the floor and shouting out in pain.

Instantly, the tension flooded back in. Beatrice took her contractor's hand, Garfiel jumped at Subaru, and Emilia trapped him once again in ice. 

He looked angrier than ever before as he screamed, thrashing about to escape his confinement, “YA BASTARD! WHAT DID YA DO TO RAM?!” 

Beatrice was also looking up at her contractor, concerned and confused, as she said, “Subaru…?”

But the black haired boy was not looking at either of them. He wasn't gazing at his beloved either. He was staring right at Ram with a madder smile than anyone present had ever seen before.

Beatrice, Garfiel, and Emilia all followed his line of sight to the still collapsed Ram. After a few seconds, she finally stopped twitching and thrashing around. She looked up to meet Subaru's gaze.

Ram was absolutely terrified.

Ram often likened her use of Clairvoyance to climbing onto another's back to gaze over their shoulder. In most cases, Ram could adjust her natural rhythm to latch onto really any normal person fairly easily and painlessly. In fact, the same was true of most animals. The vast majority of beings Ram used her Clairvoyance on were simple to latch on to.

This was not true of some people, who had closed off their hearts, or mabeasts, whose hearts contained nothing but rage and hunger to begin with. But usually, when her Clairvoyance did not work, it felt like climbing onto someone's back only for them to lash out and attempt to shake her off.

Naturally, such an occurrence brought her a biting sensation of pain. However, Ram had lived every waking moment in constant physical agony, with her every muscle aching even while standing completely still. She was used to the worst pains the human mind could imagine. That was just how she lived her life.

When Ram used her Clairvoyance on Subaru, she expected for it to either work without a problem due to his magical and physical weakness - the likely option - or fail completely due to his force of will - the unlikely option she'd yet to plan around. She did not, however, anticipate a third possibility.

When she saw through his eyes, latching onto the back of his consciousness, it felt as though his consciousness looked back with an unnatural smile and began choking her to death.

That is why, after only using her Clairvoyance on Subaru for a handful of seconds, she was in massive pain. But it was no normal throbbing sensation of hurting. It was beyond anything she ever even conceived of. It was so intense that it brought her to the ground in an instant. Her every muscle spasmed, only intensifying the feeling.

Ram desperately tried to sever the connection but it felt as though Subaru was forcing it to stay. It was as though the fish on the end of the line pulled back with such a strength that it yanked the fisherman into the water instead.

Every second spent sharing his senses was torture. No, that word failed to capture the magnitude of her suffering anymore. Agony, torment, anguish. These were mere whispers of wind. What she felt was beyond words, beyond conception. It was a pain so deep that it blurred the lines between physical and mental feelings. It was a pain so deep that it immediately threatened to break even her indomitable spirit.

When using Clairvoyance, Ram made a habit of not lingering in another's mind. If she stayed too long, their very thoughts would begin to flood into her and she'd lose sight of her sense of identity. But on Subaru, who actively strengthened their connection through sheer force of will, Clairvoyance immediately started pouring his thoughts and emotions into her. This only served to push her pain beyond what she had already thought were the broken limits of the feeling. She could no longer even sense the outside world. Her entire being was one of pain.

Flashes of a destroyed city, of an angry Sword Saint, of a crying half-elf, to the deaths of good men, of bad men, of men who I killed just because I wanted to.

Regret, waves of regret. Smiles I'll never see again. Ugly faces and terrible fates I caused for a reason not fully true.

And just as Subaru's mind would drift from his regrets to his physical pain, time froze. Ram saw and felt a shadowy hand reach for Subaru's heart. It gave it a light squeeze, as if caressing it.

But then, that shadowy hand moved and reached for her own heart. She felt an intense fear, terror of such strength that her mind degraded from esteemed maid to scared girl.

It grasped her heart.

“It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts.”

She wanted to awaken her broken horn - she wanted to release her every shackle in that moment to destroy that which tormented her, the pain of even that accursed power was preferable to this - but she was powerless before it.

“If you think this hurts, maid, you haven't experienced even a fraction of the mental anguish I've endured.”

Her mind filled with the calm thoughts of the clearly mentally abnormal man.

“Try again when your sense of self is powerful enough to withstand the shattering of your consciousness a thousand times over.”

And with that, the fish ceased its pull, the smiling consciousness looked away, and Ram was allowed to return to her own body.

Ram was a strong woman under the protection of many strong individuals. Even if she were to face someone more powerful than her, she'd stand tall in the name of her master and fight to her dying breath. She would fulfill her end of the contract, after all.

She looked up at the man, whose dark secrets she'd caught only a glimpse of, with uncharacteristically terrified eyes.

She had seen monstrous creatures and monstrous men and held herself in defiance against them. Even the all-powerful Sword Saint was a monster that Ram could be brave against. But the man who stood before her was different. It's almost like he was trying to be a monster.

And a man who has seen horrors Ram could not withstand at her strongest, without even flinching, a man with such an ironclad will that he could have erased her entire sense of identity in a second had he desired it. That man, knowing better than anyone else what it meant to be a monster and deciding to be even more monstrous than them, frankly, terrified her.

Monstrous beings are threatening because they are incomprehensible and unpredictable. But you can learn to stand in the face of that. You can defy that which you don't understand with ease.

But a sane man wearing the robes of an insane one and intentionally walking the path of madness is threatening because you know his every action is made with his interest in mind. He is a person who thinks just like you, and chooses to be a monster anyways.

Having shared his mind for a full few seconds, Ram could say with confidence that whoever it was that had taken the place of the Barusu she knew was more threatening to her than any witch cultist or divine dragon.

Subaru gazed back into her terror-filled eyes with a knowing smile and said, “You know, Ram, even after all of that, somehow, I am still Natsuki Subaru.”

Beatrice had come to the conclusion that the maid she detested had taken a peek into her contractor's mind and, after only a few seconds of looking, was left as a hollow shell of her former self. This understanding did not bring the relief she desired. In fact, it only made her worry for exactly what he had to have experienced for such a thing to occur. She knew her Subaru was hurt and fragile - it was why they understood each other so well, got along so naturally, and why she chose him, after all - but it seemed she didn't quite grasp the gravity of his anguish. 

“Betty will have to speak with him again later, I suppose.”

Emilia had no idea what to make of this odd situation. One moment, they were all having fun and playing Subaru's game and then the next they were fighting again. She was liking Ram and Garfiel less and less by the second. But, instead of coming to comprehend the situation, she had decided to wait for Subaru to make a decision for her. 

“Subaru's the only one I can trust. I can leave this to him.”

Garfiel was absolutely livid. Now, normally, when he was this angry, he'd lash out and kill whatever was in his way. But this situation was different. The man who caused his anger was so incomprehensible or powerful or something crazy that even Ram broke from exposure to it. Seeing that look on her face, Garfiel knew that he couldn't fight his way out of this. He had to try talking to the bastard.

“Oi!” he said, calling out to the madman.

Subaru shifted his attention from Ram to the source of the shouting, losing his mad smile. He didn't hold any fear or rage against Garfiel at that moment. If anything, there was only a mild impatient annoyance on his face.

“The hell did ya do ta Ram?!” Garfiel asked, getting straight to the point, his rage still incredible yet contained out of fear, fear for Ram.

Subaru sighed, his mild annoyance growing to a moderate annoyance. He answered in a bored tone, “She's the one who decided to see what it was like to be me…”

A mad smile flickered onto his face for a second as he finished, “Clearly, it was not a fun experience.”

After he spoke, Subaru turned and began walking towards the dining room doors, thinking, “I'm bored and have better shit to do than babysit a brat and a mindbroken maid. Also, if I stay any longer, I'll likely end up killing one or both of them and, as fun as that would be, I don't think good people kill terrified girls and desperate little boys.”

“Wait!” Garfiel called out once more, desperation clear in his voice.

Subaru halted and turned back, slightly more annoyed than before. 

“Kid, you're really making me regret wanting to be human right now.”

The demihuman's voice was strained and frantic. He was disgusted to speak these words but he knew he had to anyway, rage and pride be damned. He stammered out, “I'll… I'll do anything if you just help her!”

Subaru's expression softened. “Now that's a fun proposition, Garfiel. Fine, I'll humor you.”

He made a small gesture to his beloved as he spoke out, a smirk growing on his face, “Emilia, let him go.”

The ice glowed and vanished, releasing him. Garfiel immediately ran over to Ram's side and tried to use his healing magic on her. It didn't do all too much. She continued to occasionally spasm despite the soft glow of his magic.

“Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. What do I do?!”

As Garfiel’s mind desperately tried to think of a solution to this impossible problem, he felt a pair of hands on him. He looked down to see that Ram had reached out her shaking arms and clutched onto him as if her life depended on it. Garfiel had never once seen Ram even close to this scared. It filled him with equal parts rage and fear.

“Oi! Cat Man!”

The rather angry demihuman turned his sights to the tracksuit-clad man, scowling.

“You said you'd do anything, right?”

His rage grew and his scowl deepend, but he gave no verbal objection. He simply stood up from where he had previously crouched, facing the object of his resentment with fiery determination. He tried his best to ignore the empty feeling that came from the removal of Ram’s hands from his arms.

The black-haired boy donned a mad smile in response, gesturing downwards with his hands as he declared, “Suck my cock! Right here, right now.”

At his words, Subaru could see the demihuman’s temper flare, disgust and disdain plain on his face. The sheer hatred contained within Garfiel was unlike anything he had ever seen before, not in himself nor any of his enemies. And yet, to the abject horror of the bystanding maid, King Candidate, and great spirit, he actually walked over to Subaru and dropped down to the floor, kneeling before the man he directed the entirety of his hatred towards. 

The madman's evil laughter rang through the dining room and into the halls as Garfiel's hands reached for the hem of Subaru's pants. A quiet comment from the little girl standing a short ways away was the only sound to break that tension,

“ Sigh. Hopeless, in fact.”

Ram looked on with the same terror as before, barely able to raise her head from the ground. She was slightly relieved by Garfiel's presence but now… seeing him comply with not-Barusu's request for her sake filled her with shame and disgust. All in all, she felt like a mess and didn't have either the strength or will to get up from her spot on the floor. The echoes of that incomprehensible pain still send spams through her body. 

All she could do was silently think, “Garf… I'm sorry…”

Beatrice, frankly, was, as Subaru would say, ‘sick of this shit’, in fact. She knew her contractor had a tendency for cruel pranks but… this was really just a step too far in her opinion. Of course, she'd stand by her Subaru's side until her dying breath, but that didn't mean she couldn't complain about some of his choices. 

“And in front of that silly girl too… Betty's Subaru doesn't know what kind of mess he's getting himself into, I suppose.”

Emilia, initially, was quite confused about what Subaru said. Why did her Subaru want Garfiel to suck on a chicken? It really didn't make any sense to her but… when she saw Garfiel kneel before him and start to reach for his pants, alarm bells began ringing in her mind.

From her talk with Beatrice that morning, she knew that the spot Garfiel was reaching for was where Subaru's… thing… was. And seeing Subaru ask for someone other than herself to interact with it immediately brought an intense feeling of jealousy, rage, and betrayal to her.

In an instant, her magic flared and the dining room was covered in a layer of frost. With every passing second, the temperature dropped further and further. 

Subaru immediately turned to the source of the sudden shift to see Emilia staring at him, tears building in her eyes. His mad smile immediately vanished, overwhelmed by the intense guilt that sunk in his stomach. 

“Wait, I didn't-”

“Subaru…” Emilia started. The pain was clear on her face and tears began to trickle down her cheeks. He had never seen her this hurt before and it shook him to his core.

“…did you lie to me?”

He attempted to speak up but the weight of her words were a thousand times heavier than El Vita could ever make them. They were only comparable to the force that his sins pulled him down with.

“A joke? Really? This is my idea of a joke? I find hurting the one I love funny? To think I had a chance at redemption… I must have been a fool.”

“Did you lie when you said you loved me?” Emilia asked, her voice breaking.

Her magic lashed out in every direction. The gale produced from her body flung the kneeling Garfiel back, beside the still collapsed Ram. He kicked down on the ground with his full strength, pushing his foot through the patterned floor and into the earth below. Using his Divine Protection of Earth Spirits, he swiftly threw up a defensive shell of dirt around himself and the oni maid. Only once they were shielded from the magic did he notice she had once again desperately latched onto him.

“Ram…” he called out to her, his voice filled with naught but concern.

In response, she merely looked up at him with needy, terrified eyes. So, he held her close and protected her as best as he could. He was her shield, after all.

Outside of the newly formed dirt mound in the dining room, Subaru stood unaffected by the wind. It was as if everything in the room but him was buffeted by the storm. He was safe from her wrath until he provided his answer… but he just could not bring himself to speak.

“Irredeemable. Worthless. Insane. Monster. I poison everything I touch. I poisoned my old world and now my stupid fucking joke's poisoned this new one. I'm a fail-”

His train of thought was halted and his attention was drawn by the familiar voice of the one he has come to care for the second most in the world. 

“Betty's Subaru loves you more than anything and anyone else, in fact. He is simply a twisted man, lashing out and poking fun at the world, I suppose.”

Emilia's gaze shifted to the little girl who now stood beside her in another spot unaffected by her icy spell. Beatrice sounded rather exasperated while saying that last sentence but her tone shifted to determined and serious when she continued, eyes meeting the half-elf's, 

“He did not lie.”

The authority and sincerity with which the spirit girl spoke resonated deeply with Emilia. Perhaps it was their shared mutual care for Subaru, perhaps it was their detailed discussion that morning, or perhaps it was how she always seemed to go out of her way to ensure their relationship was on the right track, but, for some odd reason, Emilia felt like Beatrice was the only other person she could, besides her Subaru, truly trust in.

That is why, at her words, Emilia's magic eased and then vanished, the ice shattering into thousands of tiny pieces and dissipating away into nothing. Her gaze remained on the little girl she felt she could trust.

Sighing for something like the hundredth time that day, Beatrice took Emilia’s hand and said, “Come with Betty, I suppose. We must have another discussion, in fact.”

With that, Beatrice walked Emilia out of the dining room without another word to her contractor.

Subaru stood in the newly defrosted dining room, his mind numbly looping the same handful of thoughts. Frankly, it was the only way he could cope with the mountain of things that troubled him now.

“I threw away my second chance. I am a failure. I don't deserve her. I don't deserve them. I threw away my second chance. I am a failure. I don't deserve her. I don't deserve them. I threw away my second chance. I am a failure. I don't deserve her. I don't deserve them.”

The dirt mound behind him crumbled and fell, revealing a deeply scowling Garfiel holding Ram's unconscious body in his arms.

“Oi!” he called out, careful not to be so loud as to further disturb Ram.

Subaru did not turn nor flinch, it seemed as if he wasn't even aware his attention was requested.

“Fuckin' bastard. Ignorin' me like I don't matter.”

Garfiel marched right up to the track-suit clad man and, still holding Ram, used an arm to roughly grab his shoulder to turn him, saying, “The hell's-”

He cut himself off as he saw Subaru's face. It was a wretched mess of blank, dull eyes and dried tears. There wasn't a single spark of recognition or sign of consciousness present there. Much to Garfiel's displeasure, his eyes were incredibly reminiscent of Ram's terrified ones.

Garfiel clicked his tongue with an audible tisk and unhanded the man. He walked to a side exit of the dining room before stopping and looking back at the still stationary man. 

“Subaru.”

The unexpected call of his name caught Subaru's attention. The words still played on loop in his mind but he noted the demihuman's mixture of ever-present anger and odd understanding.

“He's still a murderous stuck up dipshit but…”

“Ya won't find any understandin’ from the princess and the lil girl.”

“Bastard's too damn pitiful to earn my anger like he is now.”

He turned to leave, speaking in a lower tone as he exited, “Go find yerself some other killer to understand ya.”

“My amazin' self kills men and monsters, not hollow shells.”

Subaru numbly nodded and mindlessly walked towards the primary dining room doors, following the same path he'd taken after dinner yesterday.

EXHIBIT G - The Weight of His Sins

Over the many decades of his long, murderous, time-traveling life, Subaru had developed a plethora of odd habits and skills. Among them was an incredibly detailed spatial memory of any given place he found himself in. That is why, when first arriving in this timeline, he noticed something was different about the mansion. The angle at which light entered the windows, the exact placement of the paintings in the halls, and even certain parts of the layout were ever so slightly off. Subaru knew, intuitively, that the mansion he found himself in was not the same one he was familiar with from his own version of Lugunica.

This, however, was not at all on his mind as he walked like a zombie through the empty, orange-tinted halls. He was using said excellent spatial memory to automatically navigate himself to a hallway with bad vibes, down a stone spiral staircase, and up to a locked iron door, repeating those same words on loop in his mind the whole time.

“I threw away my second chance. I am a failure. I don't deserve her. I don't deserve them. I threw away my second chance. I am a failure. I don't deserve-”

The looping paused for a moment as he bumped right into the closed iron door. He regarded it blankly, his eyes still dull.

“Yellow maid opened it last time. She's not here now. Problem: Iron Door. Tools: Physical Strength, Authority of Sloth.”

Just as he was about to reach into that odd slithering feeling, a memory resurfaced in his mind.

“Ah,” he vocalized, his voice now slightly hoarse from several minutes of disuse.

He recalled something he’d thought just last night, “Note to self: Avoid using Authorities whenever possible - hurts like hell."

“Physical Strength first, then,” Subaru said, monotone, his eyes still dull.

He raised his right fist into the air and slammed it down against the metal, hard. A loud ringing noise echoed from the impact, but there wasn't even a dent left once he brought his hand back.

He kicked and threw himself against it multiple times but ended up inflicting more damage onto himself than anything else. Bruises covered the whole of his body but, with his mind numb, he felt little to no pain. And what he did feel did not bother him in the slightest.

He then assaulted the door's handle over and over for several long minutes until a small bit of blood splattered against it, drawing his attention towards something he ignored until then: the lock on the door merely required a simple key to open.

“Problem: Iron Door with Simple Lock. Tool: Authority of Sloth. Note: Name Needed.”

He relaxed his now injured body and allowed that odd slithering feeling deep within himself to take hold. A single thin, shadowy appendage overlapped with his left hand and the dull haze in his mind shifted to something far more angry.

“Note: Seemingly powered by and enhances insanity. Avoid use unless absolutely necessary in the future.”

Suppressing the sudden urge to turn around and murder the weakend Ram and Garfiel, he willed the shadow to overlap solely with his left index finger before extending it outwards towards the lock. He pushed the malleable darkness within it and allowed it to expand to fill the keyhole.

“Note: Has properties of rubber, gum, and normal Unseen Hands depending on intent and will of user.”

He forced the shadows to shift to their rigid state before turning his hand. With an audible click, the door unlocked and the strange power vanished. He immediately collapsed to the ground, panting heavily.

“Causes and feeds off of madness, can be a variety of shapes instead of just hands, yet always starts by overlapping with my own appendages.”

He steadied against the door and brought himself to stand, ignoring the aching soreness of his body.

“Mediocre name hah hah acquired.”

He straightened himself and walked off into the cold, stone hallway, leaving the door open behind him.

“Authority of Sloth: hah hah Lunatic Limbs.”

On the other side of the mansion, a pair of figures slowly walked through the halls to an entirely different location. The shorter of two strode slightly ahead and, despite moving at a slow pace, felt as though she was dragging her partner to their destination. As she snuck a peak at the other figure, she sensed the completion of an important task through her bond with her contractor.

“Betty's Subaru has walked all the way down there already, I suppose. He took less time than expected, in fact.”

The taller of the two lagged slightly behind and, despite still holding the trustworthy little girl's hand, felt nervous about… well, everything really.

“Subaru…”

The spirit girl turned forward and spoke out, interrupting the other's train of thought,

“We should hurry up, in fact. We don't have all day, I suppose.”

The pair picked up the pace and walked faster towards their goal.

Subaru dragged his sore and mildly injured body through the cold, stone hall. When he reached the second and lockless door he opened it, stumbled inside, and slammed it shut behind him, falling into a sitting position in front of it.

“Onii-san?” a voice asked, confused but not concerned, never truly concerned.

He looked up to see a familiar blue-haired girl eyeing him with a perplexed look. She approached him cautiously, inspecting the whole of his collapsed form before landing her sights on his eyes.

“You look just like before again…” Meili said, frowning at what she saw.

“So this is how Natsuki Subaru always thought and always lived. He knew he wasn't enough… knows I'm not enough.”

His lips curved up ever so slightly and his dull eyes held a tiny tint of pain before he closed them.

“Thank you for letting me learn that, Satella.”

His body tensed slightly at the odd feeling of something on his head. He opened his eyes to see that the girl had placed her hand on him as if to comfort him.

“You know Onii-san, you can't kill Mama with that attitude,” Meili said, casual.

“Kill Capella? Oh, right. I promised to do that with her. To kill with her again…”

“Meili…” Subaru started, a strange thought coming to mind.

The girl retracted her hand and questioned him in her usual tone, “What is it?”

Subaru looked past her green irises and deep into what he thought was her soul itself, asking a simple question,

“Do you ever feel guilty for all those you've killed?”

The pair strode straight through the door they had both left that morning and closed it behind them. Emilia stood idly in the room and looked to Beatrice for guidance, who then gestured to the unoccupied and still messy bed.

Taking a seat where indicated, Emilia raised her head to see Beatrice standing in front of her with crossed arms and a serious expression. 

The spirit girl spoke out, “Silly girl, have you ever killed someone, I suppose?”

The question surprised Emilia but the air of authority Beatrice held made her immediately begin to formulate an answer. Flashes of slowly solidifying memories entered her mind: A green forest turned white. The white stained with blood. The blood on her hands. A corpse before her.

She answered with a shaking voice, “Y-yes”

Beatrice narrowed her eyes and inquired further, “Do you feel guilty for doing so, in fact?”

More memories popped into her head: A forest of ice. A human family. They were scared. So scared. She protected them. She hurt them. They were scared. So scared.

She held back her tears, thinking, “They lived. They're okay. But even so…”

“...yes,” Emilia answered.

Without giving her even a moment to regain her bearings, Beatrice shot one final question at her, barely holding her own composed facade together, “And how does that feel, I suppose?”

The half-elf did not need a moment to think. She just spoke her exact thoughts aloud, “Awful… Like I'm drowning in regret.”

Right as the first tears trickled down her cheek, Emilia heard words she never expected to hear. No, she had heard them before but never truly processed or understood them.

Beatrice said, her voice audibly shaking, “Betty's Subaru has killed people, I suppose. Many people, in fact.”

Her eyes widened with shock as she comprehended the true weight behind those words for the first time. “Subaru has killed… Subaru has killed many people…”

She wanted to voice the single word that came to her mind but Beatrice continued before she could ask ‘why’.

“Betty-” Her facade was a moment away from faltering. She took a breath to steady herself and spoke again, her voice slightly stronger but no less pained, “Betty doesn't know how many or the specifics…”

She recalled the look of pure terror on the oni maid's face and the accompanying look of madness from her contractor. 

“But Betty knows it must have been countless. And…”

Small hints at the pains of his past came to mind as she spoke, those remarks lost on everyone but Beatrice:

" All that I've done. All that I've worked for. It was all worthless wasn't it? I'm worthless aren't I? I might as well just die-"

" I killed and destroyed so many lives, so many times. I told myself I was doing it for you but I was really just doing it for me…"

" There's a goddamn storm in my head that's been raging ever since I got to this godforsaken place. And I don't know what to even do anymore."

She concluded her statement, conveying what little she has learned of her contractor’s troubles as best as she could to his beloved, “Betty's Subaru is weighed down by an immeasurable guilt. It is heavier than the weight of the world and stars combined.”

“Guilty for those I have killed?” Meili repeated in a neutral tone before adopting a pensive expression and placing a finger on her chin.

“Hmmmmm~ No, I don't think so,” she answered without difficulty. 

She then tilted her finger and pointed at Subaru, holding her usual look, asking, “Do you feel bad for killing someone, Onii-san?”

Subaru recalled that scene that now tormented him, that dim, dark scene: The collapsed form of a man in white. The standing form of a broken knight. The towering form of a murderous villain.

“Yes,” he answered, the weight of a thousand sins carried by that one word.

His powerful, painful response was quickly processed by the girl who brought her hand back to her side and answered with words as light as a feather, “When I kill people, it's usually because Mama told me to. Did you have to kill that someone, Onii-san?”

The words from a fuzzy dream rang out clearly in his mind:

" WAS IT!? WAS IT REALLY NECESSARY!?"

" TO WHAT END!? TO SAVE WHOM!?"

“No, I didn't have to kill any of them.” 

“So why did you, then?”

“I-”

“I thought it was necessary? No. I knew it wasn't but I did it anyway. I did it for me. For my false satisfaction.”

“I thought it would make her happy, make me happy.”

“And Betty is sure that her Subaru did it thinking it was all for you.”

The moral implications of what was just said were put aside as Emilia processed these most recent words. She reflexively objected, “N-no! I wouldn't-”

Beatrice cut her off again, her voice now shaking and tears forming in her eyes, “It wasn't about you, in fact. It was about him, I suppose. He thought it was the only way to do it all alone.”

They both recalled his words from the previous night and repeated them in unison, their tears freely flowing: "I don't want to do it all alone anymore."

"Murder becomes a habit," Meili said, contemplative.

The familiar words from his own world surprised him and his dull, pained eyes widened as Subaru muttered, “W-what?”

Her neutral tone shifted to a satisfied one, a look of comprehension forming on her face. She elaborated, “You told me that one time, Onii-san. You tried explaining it but I didn't get it until now.”

She stepped slightly closer to him and poked his chest, saying, “It's when you think you can only solve your problems by killing, right?”

“I-”

He reflected on the nature of his trained strategist's mind and all of the choices he's made up to this point, bringing his head to his knees and curling into a ball.

“I didn't have to burn the whole kingdom, killing millions, to make her King, but…”

“Murder becomes a habit."

“But we need to show him there are other ways to do it all, in fact. Other ways to live. Other ways to be happy.”

Beatrice wiped away her tears and controlled her shaking voice, meeting the half-elf's eyes, “And that all starts with you, Emilia.”

The half-elf looked back with a face of shock and confusion and said, “Me?”

Beatrice continued, her voice almost pleading, “He loves you, I suppose. He loves you more than Mother is Greedy, in fact. He loves you so much that Betty doesn't understand how he does it.”

The shock subsided slightly and a blush came to Emilia's face. She stammered out, “D-don't tease me like that. This is serious.”

The spirit girl's tone remained hard and strong, “It's the truth, in fact. And Betty thinks that only with your support, our support, can he get better.”

"But even the worst habits can be broken."

Subaru lifted his head to look at her, shock once again coursing through him.

“You said that too, Onii-san.”

He only had one word for the words of his other self. He only had a single thing to say to that hopeful phrase:

“How?”

She frowned slightly and lowered her gaze to the ground, her tone finally leaving its neutral state in favor of a sadder, slightly frustrated one, 

“I don't know, Onii-san. You just kept saying you'd help me through it…”

" Did Betty's Subaru not beg for help from others just last night, in fact?"

" I'm just happy my Subaru is being his honest self around me."

The comforting lines of the two he holds most dear to him rang through his mind. But they prompted the remembrance of yet another line.

" Alright, Subaru. But don't you try to skedaddle before then!"

His eyes widened, casting off their dullness and filling with hope and life again. He pulled the blue-haired girl into a tight hug, saying, “Thank you, Meili. Thank you so much.”

Before she could even object or respond, he jumped up, pulled open the door, and ran out of it, waving with a smile. 

“Next time, I'll do good on that promise!” 

“But I don't… I don't know…”

Doubt plagued Emilia’s mind at the other girl's words. She felt uncertain.

“What do you feel for him, in fact?” Beatrice asked. She went right for the heart of the issue and forced the half-elf to come to a conclusion.

“I-”

“Warmth? Like? Love?”

The spirit girl's patience had run thin. “He's coming, fast.”

“For the dragon's sake, girl! You almost froze the mansion at his crude joke earlier, in fact! This shouldn't be so hard for you, I suppose!” 

“Do I love Subaru? Is what I feel the same thing that he has?”

“I…”

Subaru ran through the halls at a breakneck pace. He barely had time to lock the iron door behind him, let alone properly think of what his next step would be.

“Don't think. Just run. Go to Beako. Go to Emilia. Talk to them. They said I don't have to be alone anymore.”

A small smile formed on his face as he continued sprinting.

The door to the room flung open with a loud bang, startling Emilia. Beatrice merely calmly turned to face her contractor, her arms crossed, and said, “At least one of you has good timing for once, I suppose.”

She tried to pout but couldn't help but smile at the life she saw in his expression.

“And huff huff what's that supposed to mean?” Subaru said, panting. 

He feigned offense at her comment but she did not address it. Instead, she walked right past the tracksuit-clad man and took hold of the door handle, saying, “Betty has an errand to run and will return in an hour or two, in fact.”

As Beatrice left the room, he turned his attention to the half-elf.

Subaru, slightly bruised and covered in a few splatters of dried blood, stood across from the now standing Emilia, her short hair gleaming in the moonlight and the once-fresh tears drying on her face.

“So, Emilia-tan, I guess it's time we talked.”

Beatrice closed the door behind her, trying her best to keep her calm demeanor in place. She walked off down the empty halls for a moment. She held it together until she was finally alone in the hallway, several doors down from Subaru’s room.

She trotted along for a moment before leaning against the nearby wall. In an instant, her composure melted away and she sank to the floor, pulling her knees to her head and curling up into a ball. 

Her grip on her legs tightened to the point where she felt pain. Were she human, she would have drawn blood at the action. Instead, the pastel pink and reds of her dress were clawed away to reveal a bright blue. Flakes of her mana-based form fell off of her, but she paid it no mind.

Tears ran down her face unimpeded, soaking the parts of her legs not being injured by her own actions. The sobbing was audible, her voice catching and her breathing uneven as her grip grew tighter and tighter.

But Beatrice could not die nor permanently harm herself, even if she wanted to. Her mother had made her incapable of suicide and, even were she able, she could never allow herself to leave her Subaru unsupported. 

Her Subaru was weak and fragile like her. Her Subaru needed someone to hold him together like she did. But Beatrice could never ask him to do that for her. She knew he was strong, but not strong enough for the both of them, not with sins so great. 

So Beatrice held them both together. She had to. She had failed her mother, failed to find That Person, failed to protect the library, failed to keep Bubby in her life, failed time and time again.

Beatrice could not fail her Subaru. Beatrice would die in less than a heartbeat were it for his sake. She would rather suffer the worst deaths imaginable than abandon him. She would rather die than become worthless again, lose purpose again.

And so she sat alone in the halls, crying to herself, harming herself for a moment of catharsis. She hated herself for needing this. She hated when her Subaru tried the same and yet here she was, clawing away at her own form. What would he think if he saw this? Would he hate her too? Would he abandon her too? Would he break his promises like she did time and time again?

Beatrice did not know. She just cried at the thought and gripped harder. It barely helped.

For several uninterrupted minutes, she sat alone in the hall, losing herself in a self deprecating downward spiral of negative emotions.

Eventually, a shaky smile came to her face. She spoke between sobs, “B-betty's Subaru better g-give her plenty of p-praise when this is all o-over, in fact.”

After several more minutes, she composed herself and wiped the dried tears off her face, the ones soaking her legs magically disappearing. 

Standing up, that which she gripped was healed and all evidence of what had just occurred was gone. Adopting her composed facade again, she walked off into the distance to complete her task, trying not to allow those dark thoughts to creep into her mind once more.

EXHIBIT H - An Errand, I suppose

A lone boy anxiously paced in the room of the one he liked. Normally, such an event would be cause for celebration, but the circumstances that lead to this outcome were less than ideal.

“What can I even do to help her at this point? I don't even know what that bastard did…”

Garfiel gazed once more towards the lying form of the pink-haired maid on the bed. The sun had long since dipped under the horizon when her grip on his hand finally loosened and she was taken by the cradling comfort of true sleep, not just exhausted unconsciousness.

Garfiel clicked his tongue - something that was becoming somewhat of a habit at this point - and looked away. He felt undeserving to see her, let alone stand by her side. He had never felt more useless and worthless before. And the fact that the one who caused all this was a pitiful mess in his own right just made his shame burn hotter. The image of her terrified face filled his mind once more and he clenched his fists.

“What's all this strength even for if that's the face she's makin' under my care?” he thought, a scowl coming to his face.

This pit of self loathing Garfiel now found himself in had been masked by intense worry for Ram during her every waking moment, but, for the past ten or so minutes, his thoughts had been getting progressively more and more negative.

And then, he heard a light knock on the door. It was not rushed yet sounded impatient and indignant regardless. Not knowing what to make of it, his body froze at the noise for a long moment.

Right when he was going to speak up, the door opened and revealed a young girl in a fluffy red and pink dress with grand blonde hair. Her appearance brought the boy mixed feelings, chief amongst them being his instinct to protect Ram.

He shifted himself to stand between the girl and the sleeping maid, ready for a fight. 

“The hell're ya doin' here?” he spoke out, pointedly and powerfully.

Her gaze passed over the combat-ready boy and onto the bed-ridden oni. She walked straight towards her and right past Garfiel, who did not move to stop her. Whether it was her noticeable lack of malicious intent or the absence of her contractor, the spirit could not say, nor did she really care.

“Oi! The hell d'ya think-”

The boy's lackluster objection was cut off by the croaking sound of Ram's voice coming from the bed. It was the first thing she had said since dinner and it immediately drew Garfiel's full attention. “Bea… trice-sama?”

The girl now stood at Ram’s bedside, the tiger boy just behind her, with a neutral expression. 

“Maid…” she said, looking down on the oni.

Garfiel watched the scene with trepidation, ready to jump to Ram's defense at a moment's notice.

“What do you think Betty's contractor is, I suppose?” Beatrice asked, neutral in tone.

Garfiel noted that she did not ask ‘what do you think of him’ or ‘why do you hate him’. She asked ‘what do you think he is’. He did not understand the meaning behind the odd phrasing but the bed-ridden oni did. She blinked slowly before responding, 

“Not… Not Barusu.”

Beatrice sighed at this answer and allowed what little tension filled her to leave. She replied, “You're not entirely incorrect, I suppose.”

Garfiel also noted this answer as particularly strange and resolved to analyze it further later.  

“Whatever he is… he's a monster,” Ram croaked out, her eyes filled with an odd combination of fear and determination.

Garfiel felt the bottled fire in her words. And right as he was going to resolve to assist in killing him at Ram's side with all his might, the great spirit interjected,

“That is where you are wrong, in fact.”

The odd comfort that came with the spirit girl's earlier agreement vanished and Garfiel went immediately on edge.

Beatrice elaborated, “Betty's Subaru is a hurt and weak man who pretended to be strong, I suppose.”

Despite the negative content of her words, there was an intensity and confidence in them that captured both Garfiel and Ram's full attention. Neither of them dared interrupt the spirit as she continued, 

“In his delusions, he believed himself strong enough to be above this world and any of those who resided within it, I suppose.”

Her butterfly-patterned eyes locked with Ram's crimson ones as she spoke the next words with a pained understanding that bordered on pleading,

“And so, he brought much death and destruction to where he came from in the pursuit of his singular goal that he viewed as more important than any number of lives, in fact.”

Ram's eyes widened at the description. The similarity was painful.

“Does that sound familiar to you, maid?”

“Barusu is like Roswaal-sama?”

A long moment of silence passed before Ram determined to speak, “I-”

But she was interrupted by the turning away of the spirit girl, who spoke again, “Betty has said what Betty has come to say, in fact.”

She took a few steps towards the door as she continued, “Betty will be leaving now, I suppose.”

Right as she reached the door and grasped the handle, Garfiel ran up to her and placed a hand on her shoulder, saying, “Oi! What was all that about?”

Her head snapped around and she glared at him with a strong sense of contempt. 

“You judge Betty's Subaru as if you know his sins and pain,” Beatrice spat with a scowl, slapping his hand off of her shoulder.

“But you are nothing but a child trying and failing to be a hero, unable to accept the cruel realities of this world.”

She turned her head back and stepped through the doorway. She continued without even looking at him, 

“When you take a thousand lives to save one or when you spend a thousand hopeless nights at the site of your greatest failure, Betty will give you the right to understand and judge her Subaru. But until then,”

She slammed the door shut as she spoke the next words with as much venom as she could muster, 

“Keep your idiocy to yourself, boy.”

EXHIBIT I - A Heart to Heart Under the Moonlight

His words immediately set a tone, not of tension per say, but of an odd anticipation that filled the following silence.

He saw the most beautiful woman in the world, even with those tear marks and that short hair.

She saw the most handsome man in the world, even with the bloodstains and his ragged breathing.

No thoughts were had and no words were spoken, the pair just finally basked in their moment alone together, staring at each other, transfixed.

“…”

“…”

She was the first to break the frozen moment of time, noticing his injured state and moving to aid him, but she could not bring herself to end the silence. She wordlessly stood, brought him over to sit on the bed, and sat beside him, summoning lesser spirits to begin his healing.

The light trickle of pain that coursed through his already sore body made the depth of his fatigue very apparent in his mind. For a moment, part of his attention was shifted to thinking once more.

“Note: Avoid over-reliance on healing magic. Overuse can permanently injure.”

And with that tiny part of his brain free from Emilia's alluring grasp, all his other thoughts began to surface, vying for attention. It was almost like every single moment of the days prior fought tooth and nail to intrude on this one. Eventually, something won out and he spoke, breaking the ethereal silence,

“Emilia…”

Her mind empty, her attention focused on him and her body automatically going through the motions to heal his injuries, Emilia was caught quite off guard by the call of her name. She even stopped her magic for a moment before resuming it and responding to the call. She looked down at his damaged hand as she spoke, 

“Yes, Subaru?”

He pictured the betrayal and pain he had left plain on her face not too long ago. He grimaced at the thought. 

“I'm sorry.”

Her body tensed but she did not reply. She simply recalled the spirit girl’s earlier words, “Betty's Subaru is weighed down by an immeasurable guilt. It is heavier than the weight of the world and stars combined.”

“I'm sorry for what I did…” he continued, lowering his gaze.

The reminder of the earlier revelation of his murderous tendencies coupled with the present apology prompted her every anxiety to fill her. She was on the verge of tears, only the distraction of healing his injury prevented her total collapse. She lightly bit down on her lip, the pain serving to help keep her composure.

“I shouldn't have acted that way…” he said, regret plain in his tone.

She wanted to respond. It was only fair for her to speak, to acknowledge her Subaru's pain. But the words caught in her throat. They were clear in her mind but refused to pass through her lips.

“Subaru, you shouldn't have to… have to kill for me…”

And right as she felt tears beginning to well up in her eyes, Subaru said something completely unexpected, 

“My behavior in the dining room was inexcusable.”

It hit her mind like a sledgehammer. She thought he was going to speak of his sins and the crimes he commited in her name. She thought she'd have to carry the weight herself for him or break down trying. But she did not think that her feelings would be his top priority, even over such a burden.

“I don't know how-” Subaru started, before being abruptly cut off.

Emilia immediately stopped her healing and lunged at him, bringing him into a crushing hug he was not at all prepared for, the sinking feeling that had almost overtaken her now totally gone. 

" He loves you, I suppose. He loves you more than Mother is Greedy, in fact. He loves you so much that Betty doesn't understand how he does it."

“E-Emilia-tan?” Subaru stammered, surprised by the sudden change in her mood and actions.

“He really does love me and…”

She brought herself a small distance from him, her arms still wrapped around his back.

“I think I love him too, but…”

“Subaru…” she began. Amethyst locked with Amber. The world held nothing but them now.

“I have to tell you something, but first…”

He could see her building the determination to continue. He dared not speak.

“Tell me about your life. I want to know my Subaru.”

There was a fire in her eyes that he lacked the courage or will to defy.

“The good and the bad.”

Subaru spent the next full hour or so summarizing the story of his life, from Zero, in Lugunica. This task, which was already made difficult by the awful sense of guilt that accompanied the memories, was hampered even further by his constant dancing around Return By Death. Surprisingly, he was able to mention the deaths of people he knew to be alive in this world. This was good as it made a five minute vague description into an hour long tale. Well, good in the way that coming clean about a gambling addiction and listing every single one of your debts and what you spent the money on is good. In other words, it was emotionally exhausting in a way that Subaru's already tired mind was not at all prepared for.

By the time he had gotten to the fire of the capital and danced around being killed by Emiilia, they had both cried until there were no tears left to cry and hugged as if the other would disappear if they let go several times over. Now they sat beside each other on the bed, both staring at the floor, their hearts numb from overuse.

“And then, I found myself in this room. Petra came to get me and, when I went down to dinner, I ended up crying in your lap. I contracted with Beako, fought Garfiel, talked to Meili - twice, and had a generally…”

He searched for the right word to describe the last two and a half days.

“... tumultuous time here. It's been taxing, but I can't say I've ever been happier or more filled with hope.”

And, with that, Subaru looked up at Emilia. He thought he should be anxious or excited but all he felt was relief. For the first time in a long, long time he finally didn't feel alone.

After a quiet moment, without looking up at Subaru, she spoke, 

“I've killed people too, you know.”

He was surprised but did not question her. He knew she would continue with time.

“I have nightmares about it. Every night. For the past two years,” Emilia said, bringing a hand to her chest and holding it there tightly.

“I-”

She felt like curling up in a ball, but resisted the urge.

“I can't say that I'll ever be able to understand your pain, Subaru.”

She cautiously raised her gaze to meet his again, the tears in both their eyes long dried.

“But I know what it feels like to be haunted by your past.”

She turned her whole torso to face him, the grip on her chest wavering and their shared sights breaking for a moment.

“I know what it feels like to have it be so overwhelming that you just want to curl up and cry and wait for it to all go away. Or, or lie to yourself about what happened or what you did to find peace of mind.” She spoke with a truly painful understanding. An understanding that only came with the mutual sharing of stories.

“Subaru…” Amber met Amethyst once again.

“There's a storm in my head, just like yours. I'm standing in a raging river of madness, just like you.”

She took her hand from her chest and from her side to grasp his.

“And I want us to ‘support each other as we walk through the rapids of madness’, Subaru.”

They both leaned in closer, as if drawn together by an invisible force.

“Because…”

They could feel each other's breaths at this point. Their hearts were laid out plain for the other to see.

“I love you, my Subaru.”

She pushed herself the rest of the way and brought her lips to his. His eyes reacted in shock for a moment before returning the gesture.

In actuality, it was a short and simple kiss. But it seemed to last forever to them. The half-elf and the otherworldly human felt a shared warmth and comfort neither wanted to end. After a few seconds, Subaru drew back and returned the words that filled every fiber of his being:

“I love you too, my Emilia-tan.”

After their kiss and mutual confession, for an unknown amount of time, the pair laid back onto the bed and held each other close in their arms. Emilia's head snuggled against his chest and Subaru's head rested on the top of her's. They remained like this for quite awhile, neither wanting to sleep or to be actively awake.

Eventually, the silence was broken. Even if the present realities had been made apparent, the future remained unclear. He asked her the one question that had been on his mind since he realised that this Emilia was different from the one he knew, 

“What do you want?”

She replied without a moment of thought or hesitation, “To be with you and to face my past with you at my side.”

She returned his question, “What do you want?”

He too did not need even a second to think before replying, “To be with you and to put this second chance to good use.”

He gently kissed the top of her head and spoke again, 

“What more do you want?”

She took a moment to think. Hidden in his chest, her face reddened significantly while her voice remained strong.

“A family and safety for it.”

He did not wait for her to return his question and pressed further, “What about the Royal Selection? Your past?”

She shifted slightly and lifted her head from its incredibly comfortable position. She met his eyes with a powerful determination. Her next words were what she believed to be the inarguable truth.

“We can take anything on together. For our future family.”

He smiled at her with sincere kindness and said, “Our present family, Beako included.”

She neither replied nor objected to this, simply losing herself in the peaceful look in his eyes.

There was a long pause.

“I can take Emilia and Beako and run away from here, right now. We could go to Kararagi or even certain parts of Gusteko or Vollachia and live relatively safe lives together.”

But something instinctual deep within him resisted this urge. Some powerful Greed now rooted itself deep within his soul and overpowered any notions of Sloth. And so he spoke the words that would decide his future, their future, and, unknown to him, the future of the entire world.

“It would be far easier if you were King…”

She saw this odd internal conflict play out through the expressions on his face. She dared not spoil even a moment of it. Her response to his words would've been the same no matter what he decided, but she paid close attention to them regardless. “I trust you, my Subaru. If you think this to be the best way, then I will walk this path with you.”

There was another long pause. He did not pull her head to his chest, so they remained positioned as they were. He gazed out to the room beyond while she drank up his every expression. When it became clear that he had no more to say, she spoke up, “What more do you want?”

He thought of his few good, pure times in his old world with Meili and Plum. He thought of the warmth he felt now and when he was held in Beatrice's grasp. He thought of that same warmth being caused by the Witch who gave him his gift. He smiled. " But my Subaru always had a heart big enough for a whole country"

“Want more than to fulfill my one goal, huh?”

He brought himself up to sit, meeting no physical resistance from Emilia's arms.

“Subaru?”

She lifted herself up to match. They sat up across from each other on the bed.

He leaned in once again and gave her another kiss. Their lips touched and lingered for a few seconds longer but, once again, he had words he needed to say. Although, it was clear to him that she was disappointed and it wouldn't do to leave her dissatisfied a third time. He made a mental note of this as he spoke,

“I want to save myself and…”

His image of the burning capital was replaced by how it once was. It was full of life in his mind with a smiling populace walking the streets, free of fear.

The hateful glare of the Sword Saint shifted to Reinhard's protective and loving eyes.

Subaru adopted an odd mix of smirk and smile.

“Maybe to try to save them too, I guess?”

They laid back down on the bed, cuddling under the soft moonlight. It did not take long for them both to be wrapped up in the comforting embrace of sleep.

It was the dead of night when the door to the room opened once more. A short figure entered and closed it behind her with a soft click. She looked up to see the pair asleep on the bed, a small gap between their lower bodies.

In his sleep, Subaru mumbled something aloud, a relaxed smile on his face, “Emilia-tan~”

His saying of that name while held in that embrace and adopting such a peaceful expression made the girl feel something. Something wrong. Beatrice brought a hand to her chest and tried to understand this odd emotion that had been merely bubbling under the surface until now.

“Why does Betty feel sad, I suppose? Her Subaru is finally happy, in fact.”

She gripped her shirt as an awful sinking feeling overwhelmed her. Almost on instinct, she stealthily made her way onto the bed and crawled between the pair. 

A memory floated to the forefront of her mind: " I hold no ill will towards you for breaking our promise. I was the one who advised Natsuki Subaru to force you to break it, after all. Although, I have to say I am-"

She thought being here would bring her warmth and comfort but it just made that sinking feeling worse. She muttered the completion to her Mother's words out loud,

“Disappointed. Betty is a disappointment, in fact.”

She began to quietly sob to herself, her tears wettening the pristine, white sheets. “Betty is not enough for her Subaru, I suppose.”

She slowly began to lift herself up from the spot between the unconscious couple as she continued, “He doesn't need Betty's help to stand. He doesn't need Betty's voice to look forward. He doesn't need Betty's hands to keep him together.”

She was almost out of the position of being flanked by their unconscious forms.

“He doesn't need Betty-”

But she suddenly felt a pair of arms grab her and hold her tight. She turned to see her still sleeping contractor's face. It seemed somewhat disturbed, the total serenity it once had now gone.

“Subaru?” she asked, her sadness paused for a moment by her confusion.

He was still sound asleep, but his relaxed demeanor returned as he mumbled once again and squeezed the girl closer to his chest, “Beako~”

No, the peaceful look he held was even more relaxed than before. He seemed almost child-like at that moment.

“Subaru~”

The warmth she so desperately sought filled her chest and she returned his hug. The strange sadness that once threatened to destroy her was swatted away with that one action and one word. She shakily sighed to herself, “Helpless is a fine substitute for hopeless, I suppose.”

EXHIBIT J - Moving Parts

Under the same moonlight, several other key figures in this tale had moments of their own, ranging from defining, to reaffirming, to relatively normal.

After Beatrice left them, Garfiel and Ram stayed in silence for quite some time, processing the words spoken to them along with the day prior's events. Frankly, it was a lot to work through.

Ram was scrutinizing every one of the spirit girl's lines in her head and comparing them to the not-Barusu she experienced. As every single one of her points was affirmed by his behavior, Ram's frown grew deeper and deeper.

Garfiel was once again lamenting his weakness, but for the first time, it was his weakness of character that angered him. Ram's terrified face never left his thoughts, and the great spirit's words echoed through his mind: " you are nothing but a child trying and failing to be a hero, unable to accept the cruel realities of this world"

He scowled at the ground he was staring a hole through, thinking, “Then, what can my amazin' self do? What can I be? What should I strive for?

“Garf,” Ram called out, her voice still weak.

The blonde demihuman's expression softened as he turned at the call of his name. He was elated to finally hear her speak it again, even if it was said with the usual disappointed tone.

“You're an idiot Garf, but you have a good heart.”

His eyes widened at her words. It legitimately shocked him to hear something even remotely like this from her. He could count the total number of times she blatantly, even if back-handedly, complimented him on his two hands.

“Go to sleep, worrying all night won't help you in the morning.”

With that, the pink haired oni shut her eyes and seemingly fell unconscious. He muttered to himself as he blew out the candle in the room and approached the door, “I guess yer right, Ram.”

He walked out into the hallway, an odd resigned smile on his face, and thought aloud to himself, “Priestella wasn't built in a day, after all.”

With him gone, Ram's eyes fluttered open again. She let out her thoughts as a whisper into the darkness, “Like Roswaal-sama, huh?”

Many kilometers away, a clown-like man and a red haired knight stood under the full moon, feeling the light breeze.

They had stopped their carriage at Flugel's Stump at the margrave's request and had spent some time staring at it and haphazardly setting up a tent.

“Are you sure you're fine with an outdoors stay, Roswaal-sama? Sleeping in a tent just off the highway doesn't quite suit a man of your status…” Reinhard said, repeating himself for what he felt was the fiftieth time, still surprised by the odd turn of events.

The clown, without a hint of regret felt or offense taken, brushed him off yet again, “It's fiiiine, really.”

He turned to the knight, feigning a look of excitement and relief, and explained, “I neeeever get the chaaaance to enjoy the beauty of the night stuck in my ooooffice like that.”

Reinhard merely nodded at him and turned back to the former site of Flugel's Tree.

After several minutes of silence, Roswaal turned towards their tent and spoke aloud while departing, “Reeeeinhard-kun, take as muuuuch time as you want. I'll be ooooff to bed now.”

Reinhard did not reply, simply standing still for a few minutes longer.

Once the distant light from the tent went out and the margrave finally fell asleep, Reinhard jumped up onto the stump with ease, landing on the direct center of the once mighty tree.

“So this is where you killed it, Subaru. You slew that which they say killed my grandmother.”

He surveyed the large open plains around him, no particular expression on his face.

“I wonder if you'd slay her real killer as well.”

Underneath the mansion, sat a lone girl, playing with her toys. Normally, she'd've tried to go to sleep by now but she, today especially, did not want to be alone with her thoughts.

She took an Ulgarm plushie and chased it after a doll of a woman.

“Arrggg, I'm gonna eat you!”

" But even the worst habits can be broken."

The woman tripped and was caught by the mabeast.

“Ahhh! Don't hurt me please!”

" Next time, I'll do good on that promise!"

Meili mimed the woman being clawed to death.

“Ahhh! Stop! Please! Spare me!”

“I wonder if he will this time…”

If anyone else was in the room to watch her playing, they could tell with a glance that the blue-haired girl's heart wasn't in it anymore. And yet, she played and played and waited for tomorrow to come.

At the entrance to the manor, with the sun long set, two individuals arrived. The shorter of the two frowned as they hurriedly walked, groceries in hand.

“I hope that nothing went wrong while we were away…” Petra said, voicing her concern.

The taller maid gave a comforting smile to her subordinate and replied, “I'm sure all is well.”

The pair walked through the halls and straight towards the dining room.

The Yellow maid continued, “Subaru-sama has a knack for preventing disaster, after all.”

She began to push open the doors as Petra responded, “Yes, but Subaru has been… acting… differently… lately…”

She trailed off as the two saw the state of the dining room. The floor was broken in several places, one of which had a hole that was at least a meter wide and several meters deep, and there was dirt splattered around half of the room.

Petra dropped the bags she had been carrying in shock while the yellow maid sighed, her smile vanishing and her eyes closing in resignation.

“We have a long day's work of cleaning ahead of us, Petra.”

EPILOGUE - The Morning After

The sun was steadily rising in the east, cresting a hill right near Roswaal's Mansion. Upon said hill stood a lone figure, clad in a black robe that could be mistaken for rags.

“Ah, what fine ingredients. This may truly be Gourmet ~tsu.”

The child-like individual extended their arms out and regarded the distant building with a wide smile, a black book in one hand.

“Fin~ally, Let's Eat!”

Chapter Text

"Archbishop of Pride…"

That title was announced with each syllable holding the speaker's full loathing. Their voice was oozing with contempt and utter hatred. He could not resist the urge to look towards it, granting the speaking figure his full attention.

He saw someone that looked just like him, his dark hair ruffled and his eyes nasty. But that person was dressed oddly, wearing the clothes of a noble. A tired, subdued fury was clear in his expression, and an eerie black crystal was draped around his neck, gleaming a soft green in the sunlight.

"You lay upon the blood soaked death of this ruined land."

He followed the glare of disdain downwards, the hatred in those words still lingering in his mind. He found a kneeling figure beside the furious man. It was… yet another him, clad in dark, bloodied robes, a mad smile on his face. That man took pleasure in the speaker's contempt and seemingly felt no fear nor shame even with his head lodged in a guillotine.

"Castles plundered, dominions in ruin, cities destroyed; all to spread the hellfire with which you sought to cover the world."

The speaker gestured angrily at the madman, seeming only a moment away from killing the kneeling figure with his own two hands. But he did no such thing. Instead, he pointed to the broken and charred city around them, a nearly demolished castle struggling to loom in the distance.

"A bloody conquest—having consumed tens of millions, countless villages razed to the ground, and an entire hopeful generation of once great men wiped out by you and you alone—to strike horror into the hearts of mortal men!"

A deafening roar came from the crowd around him at the speaker's words. He could see the desire, the need for revenge in all their eyes as they stared down the other him being admonished by the speaker.

"WHAT SAY YOU, MONSTER! DEMON! DEVIL CONCEIVED BY THE BLEAKEST WOMB! WHAT SAY YOU NOW!?"

A quiet hatred filled the air. The speaker's words hung over the crowd, over him, and even over the other him just as ash covered the ground they all stood upon. The other him's smile widened to an unnatural extent as he croaked out a single phrase.

"I regret nothing."

With a swift motion the blade was released, the guillotine dropped, and he watched as the other him lost his life with a satisfied smile on his face; that madman hated by the crowd, the speaker, and even himself.

Subaru jolted up from his bed in a cold sweat. His breathing was heavy and uneven, his heart was racing, and his head was spinning as he recoiled from the contents of yet another odd, nonsensical dream. Normally, he'd be able to shake it off and continue with his day, but the raw emotion of every person that it had held - from intense hate to twisted elation - resonated with him in a deep, unsettling way. The sensation of all those mixed feelings flooded his entire being. Regret, Hatred, Determination, Necessity, Unnecessity. He felt all these things and more all at once.

Overwhelmed, he brought his hands to his arms—instinctually sinking his nails into his skin to find even a moment of reprieve from the storm in his mind; to overpower the tempest with a tidal wave of pain—when he felt something wetten his neck.

"Subaru…"

Bringing his eyes into focus, he now saw that there was a little blonde girl in a pretty pink and red dress clinging to him, desperately trying and failing to tear his arms apart as tears flowed freely from her butterfly-patterned eyes.

"Beako…?" muttered Subaru, dazed by the sudden interruption of his confused thought process.

He released the grip he held on himself and brought the girl close into an embrace, her body relaxing but her tears flowing even faster and harder than before.

"Subaru…" the girl repeated, the desperation in her shaking voice clear as day. The pain he heard in it prompted him to hug her even tighter.

Through her sobs, she eventually muttered out, "Is… Is Betty not enough?"

He moved to refute her, "That's not—"

But she cut him off, her grip on him grew more stern as her body trembled, "Betty is unable to even keep her Subaru together in the face of a single nightmare, I suppose."

After a silent moment, she concluded her statement, "Betty really is a disappointment."

At this, he pulled her as close as he could. He held her tight and hoped it would keep the shattered remains of her neglected, broken psyche together.

"Maybe…" she continued, her voice muffled through his shirt.

"Maybe it would have been better if Betty just—" She was cut off by the hug being interrupted. Subaru had pulled her away from his chest and met her eyes for a moment. Hazel and butterfly-patterned irises alike were obscured by tears.

And then, before she could even complete the vile thought she almost uttered, he slammed his head against hers in a violent headbutt.

Instinctively reaching a hand up to touch the suddenly pained spot, she looked up to see him scowling, tears beginning to flow down his face.

"Are you dumb?" he said to her, deeply frowning, a quiver in his voice.

Again, not letting her speak, he continued, "Yeah, you are dumb! You made a choice, Beako."

He brought her hand to his chest. "You chose me."

He placed his own hand on hers. "And I chose you."

His scowl faded as his sharp glare shifted to a softened gaze. "And we both know that I'm too prideful and greedy to give up on that choice…"

"To give up on you," he said, pulling her into yet another hug, this time gentle and calm. Neither of them wanted to let go.

They remained as such for several long minutes, comfortable in each other's arms, the only thing on both of their minds being the safety and presence of the other. Eventually, he opened his eyes to gaze down at the back of her form, taking in the sight of her curled blonde hair and the elaborate dress she always wore.

Subaru wondered to himself, noting her still slightly shaking back, "Has she always been this fragile?"

He frowned slightly, ruminating on a strange sensation deep within him and thinking, "I've been so focused on Emilia-tan that I've neglected her… Wait, has she been—"

Suddenly, his stomach growled loudly, interrupting his thought process and prompting Beatrice to break slightly from the embrace. She took a deep breath, steadied her form, and spoke to him calmly, "Subaru, you haven't eaten well in your whole time here, I suppose."

She pushed herself up and off the bed, the lost warmth of their broken embrace saddening them both.

"We'd best be off to breakfast now, in fact," Beatrice continued, her voice steady.

Subaru stared silently at her for a moment. All that weakness and pain that laid plain just a second ago vanished in an instant. She now stood tall and confident. There were no tear marks on her face nor signs of sadness in her expression. She seemed perfectly stable, content, and even happy… but he could tell now that it was all an act.

"I really am a worthless contractor, then," he decided, reflecting on his relationship with his nameless fire spirit in his old timeline.

He too stood and took her hand in his.

"Beako," he called to her, his tone stern.

"Yes, Subaru?" she responded, confused.

"We-" he said before cutting himself off. He was about to sit her back down and have a serious conversation about her emotional state, but something lodged deep within him urged him to reconsider. Some Greedy force told him he ought to hold off on it and focus on other matters first.

"What the hell is this?" he thought, reflecting on the odd sensation. This was not the first time he had felt it and it was becoming clear that it was something oddly foreign to his soul, something detached from his identity yet intrinsically linked to it.

"What is it, I suppose?" Beatrice asked, bringing his attention back to reality.

He looked into her beautiful, butterfly-patterned eyes and said, as seriously as he could,

"In my many, many years of existence and after having seen every corner of this fantasy world, I can say with absolute confidence that you are not only the cutest being to currently live but to ever exist, Beatrice."

For a moment, she stared at him, confused and processing his words. And then, a second later, it clicked and her regal, noble-like expression did a total 180. A blush spread across her entire face.

"I— You— Betty—" she stammered, struggling to gaze back into his eyes. Normally, they just looked scary but the intensity with which they studied her now made her feel unparalleled embarrassment, like she had just found herself on stage without a clue as to her next line.

"No, actually. You're cuter than any fictional character too," he added, after a moment of further thought, still drilling a hole through her with his eyes.

"V-vita, in fact!" she stammered out, yanking her arm away from him as he suddenly fell to the ground, unprepared for the sudden increase in weight.

Still a blushing mess, she crossed her arms and turned away from him, muttering,

"Hopeless, I suppose."

Pushing open the grand wooden doors of the dining room, Beatrice and Subaru were greeted by a rather peculiar sight. The central table was exactly centered in the room, adorned with a spotless white cloth that showed no signs of the various stains and damages that it had endured over the past few days. The beautifully patterned floor too was spotless, not even a single speck of dirt visible to the pair.

Even more surprisingly, every single crack, dent, and hole that had once marred said floor were totally absent. Somehow, the entirety of the dining room was fully repaired and cleaned such that it was even more impressively ornate to a picture-perfect extent than it was when Subaru had first seen it three days ago.

Rapidly scanning the impressively tidy room, Subaru's gaze quickly landed upon the singular thing out of place there: the yellow maid. She was on her hands and knees on the far right of the room with her back facing the door. There was the soft sound of distant scrubbing coming directly from her.

Subaru immediately wanted to call out to her, both to question her about the notable lack of any of the mansion's other occupants and to congratulate her for her continued excellence as a maid that never ceased to impress him, but…

"Damn, I still don't know her name."

With no other option, Subaru marched right up to the working maid, Beatrice in tow. Standing only one pace away from the woman, she had still yet to turn to greet them. Subaru would have been content to wait patiently for her to conclude her duties and notice them without prompting, but something was making him oddly anxious and was pushing him to call for her attention immediately. Before doing so, he made a mental note that this something was the same feeling he had had several times before. And not understanding it was beginning to get on his nerves.

Marking that strange compulsion as something to consider more deeply later, Subaru bent down a tad and gently tapped on the maid's shoulder.

Immediately, she jumped up from her lowered position with a loud yelp. She swung her form around, turning towards the source of the tapping and looked upon Subaru with widened eyes.

"Huh, it seems she didn't even notice us come in, let alone walk up to her. What's wrong with—"

That was when Subaru noticed it. The yellow maid had pronounced bags under her eyes, her body language screamed exhaustion, and her usually perfectly in-order maid outfit was ruffled in various odd ways that Subaru never would have expected from someone so dutiful.

"Subaru-sama?" she asked, her voice slightly hoarse. It was obvious that she was tired beyond belief, as if she hadn't slept all night and was trying her hardest to both stay awake and keep her maidly demeanor intact.

"Ah, I get that. I've never been particularly good at long nights either," he thought, an unusual hint of genuine compassion and understanding crossing his mind.

"Are you okay?" he plainly asked.

"Y-yes, I'm quite alright, Subaru-sama. I'm just a little tired's all," the maid replied, tilting her head slightly and forcing a smile onto her face. It was clear that this conversation was even more draining than the work she was just doing, but Subaru tried not to pay it any mind. That strange anxiety welling up inside him was a more pressing issue than the sleep exhaustion of this maid he still didn't know the name of.

"Where is everyone?" he questioned further, taking her answer at face value.

"Everyone?" she shot back, raising a brow.

Subaru threw a glance down at his contracted spirit—who stood just to his right—but she was also giving him a rather confused look.

Subaru noted this and returned his gaze to the maid, that odd anxiety in his chest building up to an even greater extent than before.

The maid sluggishly shook off her confusion and answered Subaru's question, "Well, Petra left for Costuul before dawn as we need even more provisions to clean up this… mess."

She glanced to the still dirty spot on the floor behind her for a moment before meeting Subaru's eye again.

"And Roswaal-sama and Reinhard-sama departed for the capital yesterday," she stated, matter-of-factly.

There was a moment of silence as Subaru waited for her to elaborate further. She did not.

He pressed on, unease filling him, asking, "What about Emilia-tan? And your brother and Ram?"

The maid stared at him with a blank expression for a moment before narrowing her eyes. She placed a hand on her head, as if in pain, and did not respond to his remark. She seemed too confused for words.

Abruptly, the spirit girl at Subaru's side asked, "Who's Emilia, I suppose?"

His breath caught, his eyes went wide, and his blood froze. He cautiously met Beatrice's eye. She seemed totally sincere in her question.

But, before Subaru could even react to such an insane remark, the sound of the dining room doors creaking open once more rang out. The trio's heads turned at the noise.

Another pair of figures emerged from the doorway, the lead of which was dressed in what seemed to be rags, those commonly donned by slaves. The individual who followed behind him was far better dressed, almost seeming like the spoiled child of a noble. Both were rather short and child-like, but Subaru knew better.

"How excellent, how good, how delicious, how satisfying, how enriching, how elegant, how wonderful a meal we've been presented today ~tsu!" the lead figure spoke out, a delighted look spread across his face.

In an instant, Subaru's expression of shock contorted to rage. Complete and utter fiery rage. He grit his teeth at the ragged child's words and adopted a murderous scowl.

"LEY BATENKAITOS!" Subaru screamed, immediately grabbing Beatrice's hand and bending his knees, adopting a battle-ready position.

Seeing Subaru's stance and attitude, Beatrice went to work casting her magic.

"Murak, in fact."

The pair jumped to the side, throwing themselves from the middle-right of the room to back-left, near the side doors to the kitchen, in a graceful arc.

The yellow maid was confused for a moment, but quickly read the room. She effortlessly leaped over the dining room table to join the black haired boy and spirit girl. Swiftly, she asked, "Who is this child, Subaru-sama?"

Subaru quickly explained, hatred plain in his words, "That is no child. He is one of the three Sin Archbishops of Gluttony and the bastard has already eaten everyone else in the mansion."

Not even giving the maid time to process that information, Subaru immediately pulled Beatrice up into his arms as he bolted through one of the many side entrances of the dining room, running straight into the kitchen.

Ley, an even wider smile on his face, gave chase, making a b-line for the fleeing Subaru.

"Ahhhh how Gourmet! Our hero knows our name, knows our face, and remembers all our meals!" the ragged boy remarked, speeding towards the door Subaru had ran out of.

The yellow maid, her arms transforming into beast-like limbs, jumped at Ley, attempting to intercept him. Before she could even reach the boy, another figure appeared before her: the better dressed of the two brothers.

Thinking quickly, she slammed her foot into the ground below and attempted to thrust herself back, away from the boy. Unfortunately, she could not properly dodge in time.

"Palm of the Fist King," Roy stated, raising his open hand to the air only a few centimeters from her stomach.

Still within the range of the attack's shockwave, the maid was instantly thrust backwards and flung into the dining room's wall, producing a sizable dent.

The last thing Subaru could see of her while glancing back was blood spewing from her mouth and her legs barely allowing her to stand and fight.

Turning his attention back towards the kitchen, he remarked, "Oh great, now there are two of them."

The kitchen of the Roswaal mansion was a rather large one. It was not nearly as grand as the dining room, but it was still sizable in its own right.

There were a number of tables, chairs, counters, sinks, cabinets, and various other pieces of furniture throughout the room. Every drawer held numerous articles ranging from cutlery to pots and pans to cooking supplies. The room was dense with items and was stocked with enough provisions to feed a small town several times over. Subaru knew this, and he knew he'd need every small advantage he could get to even stand the smallest of chances against the likes of Ley Batenkaitos.

Running into the kitchen, Subaru quickly scanned the room. He'd surmised what it looked like, but he'd never actually been in it before. Luckily, it met his expectations fairly well.

With Beatrice still in his grasp, he hoisted her weightless body over his shoulder such that she was looking right behind him. The great spirit did not very much appreciate being carried around like a sack of potatoes, but did not object. She was nearly face to face with the fast approaching threat that enraged her Subaru, after all.

Raising her hand as he continued to dash further into the kitchen, weaving his way between the various countertops and tables, Beatrice cast yet another spell.

"Minya, in fact."

A purple-pink shard of yin magic—gleaming in the light provided by the kitchen's windows—flew from her outstretched palm and right towards the pursuing archbishop. And then another. And another. And another.

Ley effortlessly dodged out of the way of each one, barely slowing down in the process. He easily contorted his small body left then right, only making the most minute of adjustments to his gait, silently ensuring that he maintained the same short distance between himself and his meal.

Beatrice grew frustrated at this, firing shards at the boy faster and faster, repeating her incantation as necessary. And yet, none seemed to hit him no matter what she tried. He simply dodged again and again, an infuriatingly smug smile never leaving his face.

Subaru knew that a few Minya shards from a whole three meters away stood no chance of defeating the strongest Sin Archbishop of Gluttony. He trusted Beatrice to hold him off, but he knew that she could not achieve victory alone.

That is why, as he reached the far end of the kitchen—only a short time after the chase began—Subaru stopped abruptly, knowing Ley would not end the fight so quickly.

He spun himself around as he released Beatrice from his grasp, allowing her to float to the ground. When he caught sight of Ley, who too had stopped moving, he was greeted by a wholly unexpected sight.

Floating completely still just in front of Ley was the last of the Minya shards Beatrice had shot his way. It was suspended mid-air and, squinting, even Subaru could see a distortion in the air around it.

"Wind magic, maybe Ram's," he thought, quickly processing the odd situation.

But before the tracksuit-clad man could do more than understand the nature of what he saw, the ripples vanished as Ley released his magical hold over the purple shard.

It instantly flew straight towards Subaru's head. Instinctively, he attempted to duck, but could see that it would hit him regardless of what motions he made or actions he took. He was totally helpless as the crystal came speeding towards him faster than he could think.

He felt his perception of events slow as his death drew near. The only thing he managed to think in that short window of time was: "Well this'll be a whole new way to die."

But just as quickly as the shard approached him, the space between him and it warped, rippling violently for a split second before completely tearing. Where he once saw the distant still-smiling Ley obscured by a shimmering crystal of certain death, he now could only perceive a deep-purple tear in reality as wide as his head.

A moment later, the tear was gone, his perception of time returned to normal, and he was—miraculously—still breathing; his heart beat incredibly quickly and adrenaline rapidly pumped through his veins.

Subaru looked at his partner for a short moment. Her arm was outstretched, her palm wide open as her eyes seemingly focused on the exact spot where he saw the shard disappear. Thinking quickly, he realized that the spirit girl had used her magic to teleport the attack away, saving his life.

"I love you, Beako. You really are the best," he remarked, genuinely thankful for the girl's intervention. Sure, he would have been fine even if he died. But there was surely more to be learned in this loop and he was glad to have the opportunity to gather additional information.

Beatrice, still under the effect of her own adrenaline, or some kind of spirit equivalent, took a moment to calm herself before processing his words. As she realized what he had said, a blush grew on her face at the sudden confession. She was totally unprepared for such a thing in the midst of battle, especially after their earlier conversation, and could not hold together her usual elegant demeanor at the moment.

"Truly, Betty's Subaru is helpless without her," she responded, embarrassed and exasperated, unable to think of an appropriately witty remark.

Subaru smiled at the sight, appreciating this interaction while he could before he inevitably cut this doomed loop.

He then turned his attention back to the ragged child they had been running from, finding Ley standing about four meters away from them. A large meter-wide and kitchen-spanning counter stood between the combatants.

"You love her, Subaru-kun? Of course our hero loves her, cherishes her, adores her. Our hero has a heart big enough for everyone in his life ~tsu. We wish more adults were like you," Ley said, his eyes fixated on Subaru, regarding him with unparalleled intensity.

The madman merely scowled in response, refusing to be bated by further taunts. He took hold of Beatrice's hand once more and raised his own at the boy.

"El Minya," the pair said in unison.

A wide barrage of well over a dozen yin magic shards manifested in front of the pair, the light that passed through them giving a purple tint to the kitchen, before launching straight towards Ley.

The boy smiled even wider and muttered something under his breath, not moving from where he stood.

A meter away from their target, the shards were suddenly stopped. Every single crystal had slammed right into a newly manifested wall of ice that nearly cleanly partitioned the kitchen in two. Embedded in the icy defense, the shards could no longer hold their forms and dissipated within a second of making contact.

Subaru narrowed his eyes at the ice wall, thinking, "Knowing Ley, that's Emilia-tan's magic and he's doing this to get under my skin."

He immediately tried his utmost to suppress his anger at that thought. The Sin Archbishop of Pride refused to be manipulated by some hungry brat.

Placing his fingers on the bridge of his nose, Subaru began to wrack his brain for a solution, any solution.

"Problem: Gluttony Brothers, everyone in the mansion is likely eaten. Tools: Beako, Authority of Sloth, Yellow Maid… Fuck, this was a lot easier when I had that clown on my side."

Before he could come up with even a half-decent plan, the wall glowed and then vanished, returning back to a state of pure mana.

Across from them still stood Ley Batenkaitos, entirely unharmed, his gaze remaining locked on Subaru.

"Subaru, Subaru-kun, Barusu, oh my how Gourmet you must be for such different images of you to exist ~tsu!" the boy declared, visibly salivating.

Subaru clicked his tongue at this particular remark, revolted by the ideology the boy held, and adopted a disgusted expression.

And then, he had an idea.

"Beako! Zero-G, exempt me and you," he said, referencing a maneuver they had previously discussed the possibility of.

Beatrice immediately closed her eyes without complaint and focused her mana. Ley simply stood still and watched the pair, excited to see what else they had in store for him.

After a tense few seconds, the spirit girl opened her eyes and smirked.

"Ul Murak."

A wave of magical energy radiated across the room as mana sunk into everything it could. A moment later, the spell completed, every single object in the kitchen from the pots and pans to Ley himself was floating, suddenly weightless.

The boy gently floated just above where he previously stood along with his rags, confused but intrigued. He seemed largely unphased by this particular technique as he spun himself around, having fun in the zero gravity environment.

"Woooow… this is fun, ~tsu! Thanks, hero!" Ley said, grinning ear to ear.

He looked back up to see Subaru and Beatrice still standing across from him, unaffected by the strange magic. More notably, an empty knife block floated just to their left.

Subaru turned his body and struck a pose, somehow managing to hold no less than a dozen knives in his hands by their blades. He had an excited, almost child-like smile on his face.

"I always wanted to do this."

Subaru then cocked his arms and threw every knife he held with his full strength at Ley, shouting, "MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA."

The knives flew at a surprising speed directly towards Ley's head, totally unaffected by gravity.

Ley, having already adjusted to the feeling of zero gravity, raised his knees as he lowered his head, easily moving his body mid-air out of the way of the incoming attack.

But, a second before they were to pass through the space Ley's head had been, Beatrice canceled the gravity magic affecting them. The projectiles' trajectory curved downwards and accelerated with gravity, heading right for where Ley's still weightless form had moved to.

His eyes widened at the maneuver, legitimately impressed, before saying, "Leaper."

Ley instantly teleported out of the knives' way and to three meters to the left. He looked up to mock Subaru once more, to prepare his meal even further, to keep playing with their hero, but saw only a floating empty knife block.

Ley licked his lips. Truly, Natsuki Subaru was nearing the peak of Gourmet.

Subaru and Beatrice appeared in one of the mansion's gardens, just outside the dining room. Stepping out of the tear in reality Beatrice had produced for them, he scanned his environment once more, finding nothing out of the ordinary. He scowled at this.

"Arrogant bastard. He could've followed us instantly but chose not to. Damn it, he's mocking me."

Suddenly, the wall to the mansion right beside the pair exploded, flinging debris outwards. Subaru took hold of Beatrice and instinctually shielded her with his body, holding the girl close enough to his chest for her to hear his rapid heartbeat, but only a small handful of tiny rocks actually hit his back, lightly stinging him.

Once he stopped feeling the negligible pain of his back being peppered by pebbles, he released the moderately flushed Beatrice and turned to face the source of the comotion. As the dust began to clear, the pair could see the standing figure of Ley's brother calmly walking out of the mansion; his silhouette distinctly lacked Ley's ragged clothing.

"We're still so hungry, starved, craving, ravenous ~tsu" Roy said, approaching the pair.

Just to his left, Ley suddenly appeared, having seemingly manifested from thin air, now unaffected by the gravity magic.

Subaru tightened his grip on his partner's hand and faced this new threat with renewed determination. He knew that this fight would inevitably kill him and that any obvious attempts at suicide would be stopped by either Ley or his darling Beako. He began racking his brain once again for a possible solution.

As Subaru began pondering, Ley turned to his brother.

"So now do you understand why it's important, integral, crucial, paramount, proper to prepare your meals, Roy?" he asked, hopeful.

Roy completely ignored his brother, totally fixated on the pair of meals just across from him. He was so, so hungry. And they seemed so appetizing.

Simultaneously, both brothers jumped from where they had been casually standing, right towards Subaru. Again, he could only watch as the threat of inevitable death, or perhaps something even worse, rapidly approached him.

But then, he felt himself falling, as if the ground under him had just disappeared. Looking down, he could see yet another tear in space. He glanced back up as his head rapidly approached the portal, his body already most of the way through. He saw Roy with a frustrated scowl, running as fast as he could, and Ley with ravenous eyes and a wide smile, pointed right at Subaru.

A moment later, Subaru found himself back in his room, Beatrice by his side. His bed remained untidy, the closet still bulged from Subaru's cleaning efforts from the previous day, and the ornate ivory and jewel encrusted knife Subaru found in his hand when he first arrived remained untouched where he left it on the couch. He considered, for a moment, taking it and cutting the loop then and there, but he knew there would not be nearly enough time. The space under his feet tore open once more and the pair fell into yet another portal.

They arrived back in the kitchen, the entire room a mess from the various objects that had gravity unceremoniously reapplied to them. Pots and pans littered the floor and over a dozen knives were stuck in the ground across from them. He again considered going for the blades, but he began to fall into another portal before he could even properly consider it. As his eyes were crossing into his next destination, he spotted the brothers suddenly appearing beside the knives.

They found themselves in the garden where Subaru had cuddled with his Emilia-tan the day prior. He would have enjoyed lingering here, relishing in that happy memory, but he began falling less than a second before arriving. This time, the brothers arrived as his chin was crossing through the portal. Roy dashed towards him, but could not make it in time.

They returned to the dining room. The once spotless location was now a total wreck. The table was snapped in half, the cloth was torn, there were no less than a dozen dents in the wall the size of the yellow maid, and there was a massive hole where the fireplace once was. Subaru noted that that must have been where Roy had burst his way out of the building. As he began falling, he spotted the yellow maid's comatose body, lifeless under the table. He frowned, both at the sight and the suspicious lack of the brothers.

As Subaru's head crossed its way into the next location, he was greeted with a single phrase:

"Palm of the Fist King."

Subaru felt Beatrice's hand detach from his own as his feet touched the ground. He turned to see that she had been flung right through a bookshelf. Flakes followed by a deluge of blue mana began to pour from her chest. They had arrived at the mansion's library and right into a trap.

Still staring at his partner's crumpled and slowly dissipating form, Subaru felt a hand on his arm. He snapped his head around to see Roy and Ley standing right beside him, the latter's palm outstretched in the direction Beatrice was flung in.

Subaru looked down. Roy's hand was touching him.

An awful sinking feeling filled Subaru. He was frozen in place, staring at the pair of gluttons. Fear of true death filled him. He couldn't breathe.

"Natsuki Subaru," Roy said, satisfaction clear in his tone. Subaru didn't make any moves to stop him. It was over. He was going to die. No, he was going to do worse. He was going to disappear.

But, right as Roy raised his hand to his open mouth, his tongue ready to lick, he paused.

Ley looked over at Roy. "What's wrong?" he asked, concerned for his brother, his usual child-like glee suppressed.

At the strange scene, Subaru let out his breath and took this unexpected chance to back up in stride, backpedalling further into the library, towards the still downed Beatrice.

Roy looked up at Subaru, his expression no longer ravenous and needing. He seemed oddly intrigued, as if looking at a strange creature he'd never seen before.

"Hey, onii-san, how did you know about us?" he asked, plainly.

"What?" Subaru replied, dumbfounded. His back was to a bookcase and answering an archbishop's cryptic nonsense was not what he wanted to be doing at the moment. He rapidly scanned the room around him, looking for any nearby sharp edge, but saw nothing.

Meanwhile, Ley's eyes widened as he looked at his brother. No, not his brother.

"Louis?" Ley asked, his voice quivering with excitement. His focus was totally on the figure beside him now, the thought of his delicious meal put aside for the time being. How could he possibly ignore his precious sister?

"Solar Eclipse," not-Roy said, ignoring her brother's remark, still focused on the oddity that was Natsuki Subaru.

In less than the blink of an eye, the short, well-dressed boy had transformed into the form of the dutiful maid Subaru had been talking to no more than ten minutes ago.

"This onee-san heard you say it," Louis said, using the yellow maid's form and voice. Hearing the usually elegant and always polite maid speaking so plainly and childishly made Subaru's skin crawl.

Coming to somewhat understand the situation, Subaru scowled and replied, "That's none of your business, Louis Arneb."

Louis smiled and repeated herself, "Solar Eclipse."

This time, the form of the dutiful maid was replaced by another, less familiar one. In her place now stood a shorter maid, her blue hair and blue eyes gleaming with anticipation.

"This onee-san loves you very much, doesn't she?" the oni remarked, an ill-fitting smile on her face.

Subaru recognized this form. It was Ram's sister, the Sleeping Beauty his other self had fallen for, the one he had failed to save. It was Rem.

Frankly, Subaru never much cared for her. Emilia was the only one with rights to his heart, he reasoned. And so, his expression did not change at the sight of Louis's new body. He was still disgusted, to be sure, but no more enraged.

The blue haired oni frowned, upset that she didn't get the reaction she wanted. A moment later she smiled again and repeated herself a final time, "Solar Eclipse."

Where Rem once stood, a beautiful half-elf with short, silver hair and striking, amethyst eyes took her place.

"This onee-san does too, but sees you very differently," the imitation of a King Candidate said, her voice sounding exactly like silver bells.

Subaru's scowl deepend even further at this. Her expression, her voice, it was all wrong. He was absolutely livid, but he was still stuck in place out of fear that he could be eaten at any moment. This only served to frustrate him further.

That something inside of him wanted to attack and to lash out at this pretender who dared to take his beloved's place. But another something—a more familiar something—disagreed.

A creeping sensation slithered its way out of the depths of his soul and a familiar shadow-black appendage overlapped with his arm.

"Hmmmm, we guess it would be faster to just eat and see," not-Emilia remarked, glancing at her hand.

The shadowy tendril reached up towards Subaru's head and placed a gentle hand on it, almost caressing it.

"Subaru…" he heard Beatrice mutter with what he assumed was her last breath, still embedded in a bookshelf, regret clear in her voice.

Louis raised Emilia's pale, beautiful hand up to her mouth, extending her tongue from those pink lips that Subaru couldn't help but want to kiss. This would be his last sight.

The shadowy hand on his head squeezed as hard as it could. His skull was crushed, shards of bone piercing downwards into his brain along with the shadowy fingers and Natsuki Subaru lost his life.

Chapter Text

Subaru opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling above him for a long moment. The Mathers' family crest—a golden hawk with its wings spread wide—was plastered there. Normally, such a sight would mildly irritate or disgust the prideful man, but now…

He saw nothing, felt nothing. Subaru was looking up at the ceiling, his gaze empty, too disoriented from his chosen method of suicide to process any visual stimulus. The only image that lingered in his mind was the last thing he saw: those beautiful pink lips of his beloved, twisted and tainted by another: taking, stealing, defiling her form.

He frowned and then he scowled. He blinked once, twice, thrice, and suddenly his mind started working again.

"Subaru…?" a voice asked, confusion and concern lining it.

Jolting up from his lying position, the black-haired boy rapidly blinked, attempting to speed up his readjustment to reality. He brought a hand to his face and roughly rubbed his eyes. Taking a deep breath, Subaru opened them back up and looked at who called his name.

Sitting just beside him on the bed, her body leaning forward with one hand on his leg, was Beatrice. Her face was calm, her chest lacking the outpour of blue mana he'd seen just moments ago, but he knew that—despite appearances—she was on the verge of tears.

Subaru swiftly placed his hands on her shoulders, feeling her whole body shudder at the action. She gasped in response, her widened eyes locking with his. Her usually elegant, composed demeanor evaporated, the intensity of his gaze, of those nasty, hazel eyes too much for her to handle. He could see still-forming tears revealed as her butterfly-patterned orbs grew larger.

Subaru loved this little girl, this girl that he just wasn't enough for. But he had one question that took precedence over all else, one issue that needed to be solved first.

Narrowing his eyes, Subaru asked, "Where is Emilia?"

His legs were burning, but it didn't matter. His breathing was rapid, but it didn't matter. He could feel the concern emanating from the girl in his arms, but it didn't matter.

All that mattered as Subaru sprinted through the halls was her, his beloved.

"Problem: Gluttonies, Emilia-tan and the others may or may not already be eaten, yellow maid is worthless in this fight, I can't take them on alone even with Beatrice's help… I need to find everyone ASAP."

He grit his teeth and ignored the sound of his heart pounding in his ears. He didn't give a single one of the closed doors he ran by a passing glance. Subaru sprinted through the halls as fast as he could, taking the shortest route he knew. He had to be quicker. Better. Better than last time.

"But I can't afford to just teleport to a random location, hoping to find them, and risk being eaten. I was stupid. I'm an idiot for not realizing sooner what threat they posed. That they were the only real counter to Return by Death…"

Turning a sharp corner, he noted he was nearing the end of his path. He needed a plan and fast.

"Maybe the yellow maid knows something I don't? I saw her do one of those partial transformations only certain demihumans can perform… wait… that's it!"

Just as the hopeful flash of an idea entered his mind, the worried girl in his arms spoke up, having long since used her gravity magic to aid in whatever strange quest her contractor was on.

"Subaru, Betty would like to know why we're in such a rush…" she finally said, an anxious look on her face.

"We need to find Emilia," he answered, curtly.

An odd moment of silence hung over the pair, prompting Subaru to shoot a glance at Beatrice.

"Who, in fact?" she asked, sincere confusion once again clear in her expression.

"Damn it, you've already forgotten again."

Scowling, he turned away from the girl and ran even faster, his destination almost in sight.

Subaru was always a fast runner. As far back as childhood, a childhood he could hardly remember anymore, he had followed in his father's footsteps and, among many other things, won several awards in his elementary school's relay races.

But now, running for a reason much more important than some school trophy, Subaru pushed himself to his limits and beyond. He genuinely ran as fast as he could without slowing down for even a moment, his legs' natural resistance to the continuous sprint insufficient to stop him.

Subaru could push through pain, he could ignore the burning of lactic acid in his calves. But now, they were beginning to completely shut down. He had been sprinting at his top speed for well over a minute now, navigating the sizable mansion as quickly as he could, and, to put it kindly, the body of Subaru's other self showed that he clearly wasn't much of a runner.

Thankfully, rounding one final corner, he spotted the grand double wooden doors of the dining room. He continued his sprint at full speed, not slowing down for even a second. Surely, his physically weak body could take him at least that far.

"Beako," Subaru said, not sparing a glance for his partner, his trust in her having grown to become unshakable.

Suddenly, he felt his full weight return, slowing considerably, but still rapidly approaching his destination.

"Done, in fact," the girl stated, having cancelled her earlier spell.

Beatrice was tenderly held in Subaru's arms, her light weight making her easy to carry as such. She had considered suggesting to move to his back, so as to lessen her contractor's load, but seeing that look in his eyes, feeling his heartbeat as her head pressed against his chest, and hearing his near-animalistic grunts of exertion as he ran, the spirit girl decided against it. Even with the feeling that things were about to take a turn for the worst, Beatrice held out hope that they could sit down and have a serious conversation about his worrying disregard for his own health at a later date.

Only a few paces away from the dining room, Subaru rotated his torso and lined up his shoulder with the doors. At this, Beatrice's whole body tensed up. Her head buried itself further into his increasingly sweaty shirt, her eyes snapped shut, and she held onto her contractor as firmly as she held onto that magical bond between them, hoping from the deepest part from her soul that her Subaru wouldn't injure himself even further with his recklessness.

His left shoulder slammed full force into the door, flinging it open with a loud thud. Caught off-balance by the sudden change in momentum and his painfully tired muscles refusing to cooperate, Subaru began to stumble his way into the dining room, almost falling over in the process. But, after an uneasy moment, he steadied himself and stood tall, pointedly ignoring the dozens of alarm bells his body was ringing.

He didn't care for even a second that his shoulder was throbbing and uncomfortable or that he possibly injured himself only to save half a second of time. The room temperature air felt cold, icily cold rushing through his stinging nose and was equally painfully hot exiting his mouth, but he paid it no mind. His eyes were bulging, the edges of his vision growing hazy and blurry, yet he chose to ignore it.

Subaru always scanned a room when entering it—a habit he'd picked up after far too many easily avoidable deaths—and this time was no exception. It was, however, quite different. He did not note the fine wood of the central table, so clean as to gleam in the early morning light and seeming almost naked in the room without its cloth. His eyes passed right over that unusually brown blur in his vision and immediately locked onto what he was looking for, only what he was looking for.

He did not care that the sudden noise he made startled the yellow maid into dropping the folded, pristine cloth she had been carrying right onto a dirty spot of the floor, almost definitely irreparably staining the expensive and likely brand-new unused linen. The moment he caught that yellow smudge in his peripheral vision, he locked his sights onto her and only her.

Pushing through the pain of his disobedient limbs, Subaru simply marched right up to the startled maid, his gait more determined than ever before, everything else in the room instantly blocked out of his mind.

Said maid spun around, the heavy bags under her eyes somewhat hidden as they flew open in surprise; they were almost as wide and frantic as someone woken up with the noise of a gunshot beside their ear's would.

"Subaru-sama, whatever is the ma—" she began, shock and concern coating her words.

Subaru instantly cut her doubtful words off, totally ignoring everything she was saying.

Time was of the essence.

"Do the names Ram and Garfiel mean anything to you?" he asked, pointed and rough, his tone beyond commanding. There was not a shred of concern in his question nor a drop of compassion, only impatience and indignation. A small part of him tried to point out that he had just spoken in a way nearing the way he recalled Regulus speaking to his wives, but that part was silenced. He had to focus now.

Subaru's uncharacteristically authoritative command had knocked the perpetually dutiful, continually prepared maid off-balance yet again. The shock of the typically accommodating, always kind, eternally people-pleasing Subaru scowling at her and demanding answers without even a hint of patience was too much for her to process all at once. She instinctively took a step back at his incredible intensity, betraying her years of mental training and folding at the sheer pressure of his gaze.

Seeing that determined, furious look—one of greater strength than even her brother's rage-filled glares or her colleague's icy gaze—in his reddened eyes, she instinctively knew to obey, knew that this man had fury unrivaled boiling just under the surface and even a single question could make him explode at her.

"O-of course they do-" she stammered, her maidly demeanor having long since slipped in the odd circumstance.

"The Archbishop of Gluttony is here. We need to find the others," he commanded, cutting off any further remarks she could have made.

She froze up at his continued irregular behavior, any words she could have wanted to utter instantly catching in her throat. The Subaru she knew had only once ever commented on those traits the demihuman despised about herself and, aside from that initial less than stellar impression, he'd seemingly gone out of his way to not mention it to her, as if knowing it would only cause her pain and frustration. But if he was implying what she thought he was implying with that command…

Her widened eyes began to narrow at the black haired boy and Subaru, Subaru noticed.

He saw the look of defiance in her eyes, the question in her gaze, and grew immediately tired of it. At her lack of action, Subaru's scowl deepened even further and his general frustration directed itself at the maid before him, not a single bit of it suppressed in his expression.

"Now."

She opened her mouth, as if to speak, before swiftly closing it again. A chill went down her spine and she instinctively broke eye contact with the clearly furious man, shooting a pleading glance at the spirit girl still cradled in Subaru's arms. Beatrice's eyes were similarly concerned and confused, pointed towards her partner, and showed no signs of sympathy let alone acknowledgement of the maid.

Letting out a nervous sigh, the yellow maid closed her eyes, careful not to meet Subaru's gaze again. Focusing her sluggish, tired mind, she listened as intently as she could, her ears visibly twitching. They may have looked like that of a normal human, but her demihuman blood gave them outstanding sensitivity and control on par with that of true cats. Although, much like her razor-sharp teeth that never stopped growing, it was not a trait she relished in and she found it disturbing that Subaru would force her to use it like this. It was tactless of him.

Temporarily casting aside her qualms with her own biology, the maid focused intently.

First, she heard the sound of her own anxious and uneasy breathing, before blocking it out. The sound of her own quick heartbeat—akin to the patter of spring rain on an umbrella—too was something she dismissed.

The ragged, animalistic breaths—audibly seething with progressively intensifying rage—of the man who had commanded her along with the soft, calm yet uneven breathing—much like the sound of autumn's indecisive winds—of the girl in his arms were difficult to ignore, yet the maid managed it.

The hardest hurdle was blocking out the steady drum-like adrenaline-powered heartbeat of Subaru, the low yet consistent tone it produced being almost hypnotic. But, moving beyond said sound, what the maid presumed was the spirit-equivalent of a heartbeat was the last noise in the room she had to dismiss.

"Well that explains why Beatrice-sama can blush, then," she silently pondered, before blocking out that intrusive thought and redoubling her efforts.

Her ears twitching once more, the demihuman could now hear the sound of the wind gently brushing through the leaves out in the garden, the soft cries of the animals and insects in the forest, and then… metal clashing, childish laughter, animalistic screaming, cries of pain and rage. Having completely focused her hearing, she could sense the struggle of her brother and colleague.

Her eyes snapped back open, panic rushing into her heart, completely overriding any fear, intimidation, or offense she felt towards Subaru. Her hesitation evaporated instantaneously, leaving naught but concern and maternal fear in her expression.

"Ram and Garf are fighting some opponent, no… two opponents in the mansion's primary courtyard," she announced, a sinking feeling washing over her.

Subaru said nothing, merely turning around and sprinting back out the way he came.

"Murak, in fact."

As the trio burst their way through the main entrance of the mansion, they were greeted with the sight of a ruined courtyard.

The front of the Roswaal mansion was once a beautiful sight. Neat rows of hedges and trees lined up perfectly symmetrically on either side of the tidy, patterned pavement. Grand lawns spread across large portions of the courtyard at the center of which sat a pair of gazebo-like canopies that Beatrice and Subaru had once spent time bonding under, telling stories never heard before and discussing things no outsider could ever come to understand.

Such a scene was now impossible. The stylized plant life which the mansion's staff took great care to maintain was now chaotically mangled to an unrecognizable extent, several of which were sliced clean through. The various paved walkways were littered with craters and wide holes, damaged beyond recognition. Pieces of concrete from said pavement littered the once pristine lawns, completely ruining their picturesque image. And the gazebos were totally destroyed: one collapsed in on itself, the shattered remains sagging under its own weight, while the other had gone entirely missing, not a piece of it to be found.

The entire scene was marred with the scars of fresh, violent, and intense battle, but Subaru's eyes immediately landed on something that made his blood run cold.

Towards the center of the courtyard, he saw his beloved's lifeless body laying on the floor. Not far from it, he spotted the similarly comatose almost-corpses of the oni maid—having joined in her sister's slumber—and the tiger boy—his usually enraged expression now entirely passive.

Standing beside Ram's body was a familiar ragged child, his face twisted into a look of pure elation. He was speaking to his brother, who stood over Garfiel's comatose body.

"Isn't it so filling, appetizing, enriching, wonderful to prepare your meals ~tsu? To taste something properly Gourmet?" he asked, beaming with pride and satisfaction.

"All it reminds us of is how hungry, starving, craving, and ravenous we are ~tsu," the younger brother replied, yearning for more.

"Well, Roy, we're sure that you'll be able to stuff yourself soon enough," Ley said, drawing an anticipating look from his brother.

Roy found his ragged counterpart not looking at him, but rather something in the distance. He followed his line of sight to find…

"We love it when the meal comes to us ~tsu," Ley remarked, meeting Subaru's hate-filled eyes.

"I killed you and your deranged family once before, Batenkaitos, and I'll do it again," Subaru stated, with as much confidence in his words as there was unbridled rage.

"Our hero killing, murdering, slaughtering? And not lying about it? We know what you said last night, but for it to be true… Oh my, you're nothing like all the other adults ~tsu…"

Ley's grin widened to an unnatural degree and his eyes filled with glee.

"Could you truly be… Pride, perhaps? We know Pride's coming soon… oh my, our hero—Subaru, Subaru-kun, Barusu—being an archbishop… you must be veeeery Gourmet ~tsu."

Subaru merely scowled in response, gently placing Beatrice back onto her own two feet. He took his partner's hand, gripping it tight, ready for battle once more.

"Hey, nii-san…" Roy started, drawing his brother's attention.

"We still don't get this whole Gourmet thing, but we really want, desire, covet, hunger for Subaru-kun."

Ley's already delighted look grew even happier, filling with unparalleled pride.

"We would love to eat someone so Gourmet, but since we love you, we'll let you have him ~tsu."

And without a second wasted, Roy kicked off the ground he was standing on, producing a small crater in the concrete, and lunged towards the spirit and contractor duo. He was so so hungry. His stomach, having been empty for far too long and having tasted but a mere appetizer in the form of the angry tiger boy, yearned for more, craved for more, needed more. And he was beyond delighted to find a pair of feasts right before his eyes.

"We don't care about your stupid Gourmet, nii-san. We just want the two-for-one deal ~tsu!"

Before Subaru could move a muscle, the confident and assertive voice of his partner rang out.

"El Shamac."

A massive plume of pitch-black smoke engulfed the pair, surprising Roy who flew straight into the massive spell.

Meanwhile, the yellow maid—having immediately jumped out of the way—now stood just outside of the cloud's effective range.

"Fula."

On pure instinct, she threw herself even further back, narrowly dodging a wind attack directed at her. Regaining her balance, she gazed back up to find Ley standing where she just was, lightly pouting.

"It's nooooo fair! We know that the eldest sibling has to be kind, gracious, charitable but… we wanted to taste our extra-Gourmet hero!" Ley complained at her, his pout deepening.

She was left speechless by this, unsure how to possibly respond to his remark. But then, his childish pout shifted back to an unnatural smile.

"You understand our struggle, right… aneki?"

At his use of that title—that of one's elder sister—the maid's head began to throb painfully. Why did it bother her so much? Why did it feel so wrong?

"What's wrong, aneki? You hurt, tired, exhausted, drained? Why don't you become a big kitty and fight us ~tsu? We know you never were the best at combat, but we're sure you'll try your best like you always do. Come on, come on, it's not like you've held back with an age difference before. Do it for Petra ~tsu!"

At the mention of that name, the maid's confused, disgusted look shifted to be more akin to Subaru's earlier expression: one of utter disdain.

"You have no right to say her name, filthy Witch Cultist," she shot back, her voice flaring up with unsuppressed hatred.

"Oh, reeeally? Why don't you stop us ~tsu? Come on, transform. We're waaaaaiiting ~tsu," Ley replied calmly, beginning to yawn at her lack of action.

Bottling her fury, the demihuman viciously ripped off her maidly attire and swiftly removed her cherished necklace—the Pyroxene crystal glimmering in the early morning light—gently tossing it aside into some nearby shrubbery.

"I will tear you to shreds, scum," she spat, going on all fours.

"Ahhhh how unusual of you to act so undignified, aneki."

The demihuman's already feline-esque body contorted and shifted, morphing into the shape of a large, yellow, cougar-like cat. Said creature could still be seen scowling despite having such animalistic features.

"Head Maid of the Mathers' Family Mansion, Frederica Baumann," she said, spiteful.

"Sin Archbishop of the Witch's Cult, representing Gluttony, Ley Batenkaitos," he replied, overjoyed.

And so, the pair ran at each other, beginning their clash.

His body weightless, Subaru felt more grateful than ever to have his partner by his side. Or rather, draped over his shoulder, treating the great spirit of the library much like a sack of potatoes. But this did not even cross his mind; he was totally focused on evasion. He weaved his way between bits of destroyed trees, over the remains of the collapsed gazebo, and all around the courtyard, not sparing a glance to look back. None of the memories he had formed in these places lingered in his mind. His only objective was to keep running, his tired and sore body be damned.

Subaru knew these brothers well enough to know the unique threat each one posed. Ley's ideology of 「Gourmet」 produced a monstrous fighter of unparalleled skill, completely unfitting his prepubescent form. In his old timeline, when Roswaal had approached him to offer his aid against Gluttony, Subaru had wanted to laugh in the clown's face, thinking himself above such handouts. But after witnessing the bombastic duel between inarguably the strongest mage in Lugunica and the force of nature that was Ley Batenkaitos that ended up terraforming an entire mountain range… he was glad to have the clown on his side.

Roy Alphard, on the other hand, was a whole different beast. He was not as powerful nor as intelligent as his elder brother, but Subaru considered him several times more dangerous. His evil was not controlled like Ley's, his hunger not directed. Roy's ideology of 「Bizarre Eating」 prompted him to go straight to eating, to end his battles as quickly as possible in the pursuit of gorging himself on as many lives as he could.

Ley matched himself to his opponents. Roy did not.

That is why, despite battling a technically weaker opponent, Subaru was having an even harder time than before.

"Fuck, what was I thinking? Sure, I've learned where these bastards ate everyone—which is invaluable information—but now I've got to find some way to die before he gets me again."

Meanwhile, Beatrice was unaware of these thoughts her contractor held. The spirit girl was solely focused on the battle before her, and it was taking that complete focus to stave off defeat.

Roy had jumped, sprinted, fell, and took really any other action he could to get himself closer to the pair. Initially, Beatrice had retaliated with wide barrages of Minya shards, but it had quickly stopped working on the boy. There were any number of old magical spells her mother had entrusted with her that could potentially slow down or even defeat the Witch Cultist, but… none were quick enough to cast. Roy was simply too persistent, too focused on catching them.

Having quickly run out of options, a rather novel idea had come to the girl's mind.

Subaru, in one of their many lengthy discussions, had offhandedly mentioned a strange game—the mechanics and qualities of which she still didn't understand—in which one uses magic akin to her own to solve puzzles. Of course, such a thing confused her beyond belief when hearing it—one does not use such powerful magic for mere games even if the 'bideo' kind was somewhat different—but it had sparked an odd train of thought in her mind.

Focusing her mana to the point between herself and her pursuer, Beatrice cast a spell she'd never have thought to use in this way before.

"Ahhh so hungry, so starved, we need to eat, feast, stuff ourselves!" Roy thought, jumping at the pair at his greatest speed yet.

A mere moment away from his target, the air directly in front of him began to ripple. It distorted and twisted violently before completely tearing open, producing a wide purple portal.

Unable to stop his momentum, Roy flew straight in and it immediately closed behind him.

Stumbling unexpectedly forward, Roy looked up to find himself back on the other side of the courtyard. He saw a smug look on the distant girl's face. He chased after her once more.

"Ahhh, mother would be so proud of you, wouldn't she?"

He dodged a swipe aimed for his head, grazing his shoulder in the process.

"Look at you! The bastard child, unable to protect anything or anyone, unable to help those you're responsible for through their issues even with years of effort… how disappointing ~tsu."

He jumped high up into the air, narrowly avoiding the beast's charge, smiling at her from above.

"If you don't do better soon, we'll get Petra too!"

The massive cat tensed its hind legs and pushed off the ground, lunging high up into the air, straight towards the boy.

Ley lazily raised his palm in front of him, seemingly growing bored of this battle. Just as the beast swiped at his chest, he spoke.

"Palm of the Fist King."

In the ensuing shockwave, all her momentum was cancelled. She was thrust right back into the concrete she lept off of mere moments ago, her massive form producing a sizable dent in the ground.

Landing gently on the ground nearby, Ley continued speaking.

"We understand what it's like to be an elder sibling, though. Adults just take, rip off clothes and take until there's nothing left and we're in charge of making sure that our younger siblings get something. And we have to sacrifice so much to do that."

He squatted in place, looking down on the cat's twitching form.

"But maybe you're not fit to be that way, aneki. Maybe it would have been better if you stayed back in Sanctuary as a scared little girl all your life."

The beast tried to stand, hatred clear in its eyes, but could not muster the strength.

Ley's voice dropped to a near whisper, his mouth approaching her ear and a wide smile spreading across his face.

"You never accomplished anything by leaving, after all. You only made all their lives worse and even here, even now, you're failing."

A snarl emitted from his opponent's mouth, but Ley paid it no mind.

"They'd all be disappointed in you, aneki, but we know that they never really expected anything from you. You're a failure of a maid, after a-"

His head looming over hers, the beast suddenly lunged from its downed position and bit right into Ley's exposed, undefended chest, cutting off his taunt.

Tearing through his skin and right into his childish excuse for muscle, the beast clamped its jaw down as hard as it could. Blood pouring down the sides of its mouth, the cougar-like cat raised itself from the ground, lifting Ley into the air and deepening its bite even further.

But the ragged, bloodied boy held no fear. His smile remained firm, unnaturally so.

"Leaper."

The enemy that had been trapped in her gaping maw was now free, having suddenly vanished. Several meters away, she saw him appear and quickly rise back up to a standing position. He held himself up without much issue despite his massive wound and rapid blood loss.

"We may have been wrong ~tsu. Perhaps you will serve as a somewhat suitable, albeit quite inferior, substitute for our hero after all."

Again and again. Time after time. Portal after portal.

Roy continually attempted to dash at the spirit and contractor duo, only to always be teleported away at the very last second.

He was tired of this. He was so damn hungry and he didn't care anymore if this ended up killing one of his meals. All he had to do for more was find a village, and torture someone's name out. Then he'd have the entire village residing within his stomach. Oh, just the thought of it got him salivating.

Dashing at the pair once again, about five meters from them, he cast a spell.

"Ul Goa."

A massive fireball sprung from his outstretched hand and Beatrice's focused expression was shaken as her eyes grew wide.

She redoubled her efforts yet again and, just as the huge ball of fire came speeding at them—with Subaru unable to run fast enough to escape it—the space between them and it rippled, tearing open.

Flying straight through the purple portal, it came speeding back out in the opposite direction a short moment later, flying right towards the still sprinting Roy.

The boy smirked.

"Carnivorous Beast."

He did not slow, running straight through the enormous spell, and jumped right through it. He looked upon the shocked pair, his clothes singed but otherwise unharmed.

Beatrice filled with fear and panic. There was nothing she could do. The boy was so close and she lacked the focus to conjure another spell, any other spell, to stop him.

Just as Roy reached out for her chest, she felt herself released from Subaru's grasp.

Flicking her eyes over, she saw the black-haired boy had dropped her, his attention focused on Roy.

His fist flew through the air, straight towards Roy's side.

But a normal right hook would do nothing. If an Ul-level spell didn't even bother him, then how could a human's punch do any better?

Regardless, she trusted her contractor. And so she muttered, "El Vita."

Noting the rapidly approaching threat, having swiftly placed Beatrice down, Subaru grit his teeth and swiftly reached into the slithering feeling deep inside himself, an action that was quickly becoming disturbingly familiar.

He activated his Authority of Sloth, the 「Lunatic Limbs」.

A dark, shadowy appendage overlapped with his right arm. A phantom fist formed just in front of his own. And, with his full force, he slammed it into Roy's side.

Crunch.

It felt like punching concrete. No, it actually felt worse. It felt like a slab of concrete fell off a skyscraper and hit his fist at terminal velocity.

His hand instantly crumpled against the boy's near-impenetrable skin. The shadowy limb itself too almost faltered, it being the only reason his whole arm did not mangle from the action.

But his plan worked. After some initial resistance, Subaru's attack pushed Roy away from his Beako. It pushed him away from them both. It pushed and pushed until Roy went flying away from the pair as fast as he came, a look of shock on his face.

Subaru did not look at him for even a moment longer. He fell to the ground immediately, his body still feeling unbearably heavy even after Beatrice's gravity magic subsided.

Subaru had long since acclimated to intense pain. But this was different. Using that technique made him feel a pain beyond that in his body. It felt as if his very soul ached.

Beatrice immediately attempted to heal him, but Subaru knew it wouldn't do much good. This loop was doomed anyway.

"I'll save her. I swear I will. No matter how many times it takes."

Roy glided through the air, quite surprised and with a large tear in the right side of his shirt, but otherwise uninjured.

He immediately twisted his body mid-air, preparing to break his fall by forcefully throwing himself against the ground.

But it became unnecessary as he slammed right into some fleshy mass behind him.

He felt bones crunch and flesh eviscerate, but they were not his own. His momentum completely cancelled out and he turned to see that he had just flown into… aneki?

"ROY! WHY'D YOU DO THAT ~TSU?!"

He turned to see his brother scowling at him, clearly furious.

"We were soooo close to eating someone soooo Gourmet! And you ruined it!" Ley said, slamming his foot down in frustration.

"We stop looking away from your fight for one second, enjoy ourselves for one second, and you ruin everything!" he shouted, his face growing red with rage.

"Hey! It's not our fault that you're too stupid to eat your food fast!" Roy retorted, annoyed by his brother's remark.

"We-" Ley started, before stopping himself. He took a deep breath and placed a hand on his face.

"Listen, Roy. Just use Leaper to go straight past her portals. We're sorry for yelling at you, we love you ~tsu."

Roy looked away from his brother and stood up from his spot in the beast's quickly dying body. He cracked his neck, stretched his muscles, and bolted right back towards his prey.

Ley sighed at the sight and turned back to his dying opponent.

"We're sad we couldn't see your full Gourmet potential, aneki, but we had fun regardless."

He placed a hand on her bloodied fur.

"Frederica Baumann."

Ley licked himself and relished in her name and memories.

With one hand pushing up against the ground, Subaru lifted his body up to stand through the aching and soreness. His whole form shook as he went, the combined pain of incredible fatigue, overuse of his Authority, and the dull prickling sensation he assumed was the typically debilitating pain of one's torn muscles and broken bones being slowly and carefully stitched back together via healing magic only annoyed him as he stood. He'd felt worse in the past, far worse.

"Subaru, please stay still, in fact. Betty can't-" she started, totally focused on healing her partner.

"It's no use," he said, cutting her off.

Beatrice met his eyes, they were distant.

"There's no point in fixing what is doomed. Besides, I'm sure Roy will be on his way back any second now…"

Subaru glanced at his limp, mangled hand. He attempted to squeeze it into a fist, but found it physically unable to do more than twitch.

"Subaru, please, if you—" This time, she cut herself off, snapping her attention to where Subaru had sent their pursuer flying.

They both saw him approaching, quickly. Roy was on his way back and they both knew that the same tricks would likely not work again.

Subaru glared at the running figure, trying to weigh his options as best he could in that moment. The lingering rage and hate brought about by use of his Authority did not aid in this pursuit.

Before he could craft a course of action, he saw the spirit girl step forward, standing between him and the archbishop.

Subaru glanced down at the girl. He saw her stance was firm.

"Betty's help to stand, Betty's voice to look forward, Betty's hands to keep you together… to choose you over Betty's past and to clear a path to our future… that is what we agreed upon, I suppose."

"Beako…" the hate in his eyes wavered, his determination held on hold. He looked at her now as if he'd never truly seen her before.

The girl raised her hand up towards Roy who drew ever-nearer, tearing a hole in space between her and the boy.

"Betty is sorry that she wasn't enough, sorry that she allowed our future to be doomed."

In an instant, Roy appeared just in front of said tear in space, his smile wild and excited. He continued to sprint, mere moments away from the little girl.

That raging river of madness contained within Subaru's mind calmed, the storm stopped for but a moment. He looked upon her with no contempt in his expression, no hate in his eyes. He felt sorrow and… something more.

Something, that same something that had been pestering him time and time again, urged him to help her, save her, aid this lost poor little girl in her time of need. That something cared not for futility nor consequences. It only cared for the sadness it heard in her words, the quiver in her voice, and the guilt shining right out of her heart. It was a Greedy something, wanting to save them all no matter the cost.

But another something, an older something, urged him to look beyond the girl and towards the threat to his life and so much more. It urged him to kill the boy, to slaughter that which dared to defy him. It made his brain tremble and whispered temptations of power, worming its way into the core of his soul. It was a Slothful something, pushing him to give into his worst habits that he only barely kept under control. He did not need to change, to embrace his so-called Second Chance.

These somethings were companions, he noted. These foreign yet base compulsions were akin to one another, despite their differences.

And Subaru despised them both at that moment. He was disgusted with both of these compulsions. These opposing forces both urged him forward into the fray, regardless of consequence.

Subaru grit his teeth and brandished his iron-clad will.

"I'm the fucking Sin Archbishop of Pride and I will not be manipulated by the whims and wishes of some alien forces!"

Roy's hand reached out to grasp hold of the girl.

"Ah, to hell with this!"

Subaru spun his body away from his partner and away from the threat.

He bent his knees and reached deep within his soul. That slithering sensation did not want to comply but he tore it out from inside him regardless. Quivering shadowy appendages overlapped with his legs as his teeth clenched so hard as to crack.

Sparing not a single glance back, Subaru kicked off the ground and flew into the air. Once in motion, those appendages vanished even faster than they came. He could hear and feel the bones in his lower body shatter into more pieces than he could count, becoming even more mangled than his hand.

And yet he leaped across the courtyard in a long arc. Nearby where he would inevitably land, Subaru spotted the still motionless body of the tiger boy that annoyed him so… and beside him, the shattered remains of his shield.

Subaru scrunched his body up as best as he could, landing on his destroyed legs. Unceremoniously falling to the ground, his right hand and his entire lower body became unfeeling, so overstressed as to no longer function in even the smallest of capacities. He didn't even feel the blood beginning to drench his clothes.

He reached his shaking left arm out, the only functional limb he had left, and grasped the jagged silver shard.

He spared only a single glance up, seeing his Beako's lifeless body fall to the ground and Roy laughing maniacally in the distance.

He held the sharp object as tight as he could, blood coating his hand, and jammed it into his throat.

The whole of his body in pain, his heart throbbing in more ways than he could count, and those forces attached to his soul disapproving of his choices, Natsuki Subaru lost his life, frustrated and alone.

Opening his eyes, Subaru did not spend even one second looking at the ceiling with its beige undertones and bird symbol. He instantly jumped out of bed and stood beside it.

Taking a moment to adjust to the feeling of having four working limbs again, he looked down to see Beatrice still sitting on the bed, regarding him with a now familiar look of concern and confusion.

He did not give either of those somethings a chance to pitch in their opinions and chose to—as much as the thought disgusted him—ignore the girl's mental state for the time being.

He had to save Emilia. And he couldn't afford to waste time on anything else.

Without a word, he grabbed her by her sides, hoisted her off the bed and into his arms, and held her close, burying her face into his chest.

He did not look down as her now-reddened face glanced up at him. He immediately walked to the far side of the room and, with a running start, leaped straight through the glass window of his room.

"M-murak!" Beatrice said, panic and surprise filling her voice.

Subaru's expression did not change.

"Problem: Gluttonies in the courtyard, Authorities on the fritz. Goal: Save Emilia. Solution: Gather information, running as fast as I can."

His gaze remained fiery yet calm as he glided through the air. He would fulfill his promise, no matter how many times it took.

Step, Step, Step, Sliiiiiide.

Subaru's dash came to an abrupt halt as he rounded the corner of the mansion and gazed upon the spectacle held beyond.

The courtyard was ruined, to be sure, but it was still recognizable. One of the gazebo-like structures remained intact, a good portion of the shrubbery was disheveled rather than being totally destroyed, and the lawn was relatively untouched.

But most notably, the echoing sounds of continued conflict rang into his ears.

Standing near the center of the courtyard was the familiar sight of Ley Batenkaitos, his face spread into a now-familiar look of delight. He seemed ready to feast. And not three paces behind him laid Emilia's unconscious form, just as he'd seen only a few minutes prior.

This reinforced Subaru's scowl. He still wasn't quick enough. He still couldn't save her. He would have to die yet again. But then, his eyes shifted towards his left.

Across from him, standing closer to the mansion's entrance, stood the duo of oni maid and blonde demihuman, side by side. The former's uniform was torn and tattered, seeming clearly overexerted. The latter's enraged expression was visibly exhausted, his whole body heaving with every breath.

But they were breathing, and their scowls were proof of their continued life, their continued existence in this world's memory. And from that place deep within his soul, the Greedy force rejoiced. Or rather, compelled him to rejoice.

But Subaru paid that feeling no mind. He acknowledged the reality of the situation and acted accordingly.

He finished his analysis of what laid before him and continued to dash towards the courtyard, straight towards the injured pair of familiar faces.

"Finally ~tsu!" a voice exclaimed, coming from a place high above.

"Leaper!"

And a moment later that voice appeared nearer, accompanied by the sight of Roy's form, a yearning clear in his eyes.

"Leaper!" he repeated. He appeared in the middle of Subaru's path, in between himself and the distant pair.

Said distant pair turned at the intrusion, their opponent doing the same.

"Barusu? Beatrice-sama?" Subaru could hear Ram say in the distance.

"Very good, Roy! How excellent, how intelligent, how patient of you ~tsu!" Ley exclaimed, substantially louder.

"This is exactly why one must keep watch of their surroundings! For such a job well done, we give you permission to feast once more! We're so proud of you ~tsu!"

Roy did not respond to his brother. He barely even processed his words. Roy cared not for Gourmet nor for his brother's pride. He only cared for the meal in front of him, and the fact that he was finally allowed to eat again.

Subaru braced himself, holding Beatrice close. It had only been a fraction of a minute since his previous battle with the Gluttony Archbishop of 「Bizarre Eating」 had concluded and he was prepared for a rematch. Or at least, he thought he was.

But what Subaru failed to notice, failed to realize, failed to consider, was that, in his haste, he had neglected two sets of mental states.

First, as Roy jumped at full speed towards the pair, chaining Leaper after Leaper together as he had when he'd come down from on high, Subaru realized that Roy was different. Subaru had failed to consider the change in approach one good meal would have. And Roy, now, was hungrier than Subaru could have ever imagined. He was so hungry, so ravenous, so needing to eat, that, for one of the first times in his short life, Roy actually heeded his brother's past teachings.

Subaru had failed to consider that Roy Alphard became an exponentially more competent fighter—whose only goal was to grab hold of his opponent and eat—when starved.

Second, as Subaru did nothing against the approaching archbishop and as no purple shards nor tears in reality appeared to halt Roy, he realized that Beatrice too was different. Subaru had failed to consider the change in approach a few minutes of mental preparation and sentences of conversation would have. And Beatrice, now, was incredibly disoriented. She turned her head only a moment before Roy began to sprint. She hadn't had a minute—no, not even a second to process the situation she had found herself in. Subaru realized that, at that moment, Beatrice was entirely useless in this fight.

Subaru had failed to consider that Beatrice was no tool. She was no weapon nor slave. Beatrice was his partner. And Subaru had failed to say even a single word to his distressed, confused, and mentally unstable partner before running right into what would be the hardest battle of her life.

"Leaper!" Roy exclaimed one last time, appearing less than a meter away from the pair. Or rather, just above them.

Looking directly up, Beatrice had no time to think, so she acted on pure instinct.

"Min-" she started, before Roy's foot slammed right into her child-like face.

This attack not only cut off her incantation, but also—since Beatrice was still being held in Subaru's arms with her chest against his and since she had neglected to cancel her hastily applied gravity magic—sent the pair immediately flying. They slammed into the ground and their near-weightless bodies scraped against the rough lawn as they continued to quickly speed away from where they had just been with no sign of stopping.

Subaru too acted on instinct, lacking the time to do anything else. He too had raised his hand to cast Minya against his opponent, but he couldn't even begin his own incantation before Roy attacked.

In the distance, he could see, with his body still scraping against the ground and still not producing sufficient friction in his weightless state to stop, Roy preparing to eat.

Subaru once again acted on instinct as he shifted his still outstretched palm's target.

Finishing his spell as Roy's tongue exited his mouth, Subaru directed his total focus to its completion.

"Minya."

As Beatrice's body grew limp in his arms, limp as all the lifeless corpses he'd seen mere minutes ago, Subaru felt two unique sensations simultaneously.

First, he felt the pain of his now normally weighed body roughly scraping against the grass. It was odd, but far from the most unpleasant thing he'd ever experienced.

Second, he felt a strange sensation in his right thigh. Of course, it was an expected sensation, as that was where his palm was aimed, but it was strange nonetheless.

Subaru had been torn to pieces, burned alive, and bled to death more times than he could count, not that he'd care to count anyway. He'd even been frozen to death a small handful of times in his old timeline—a feeling he once thought he'd never get used to… until his beloved had put him through it enough times for his mind to finally adjust to it.

But this was entirely different from every death he'd experienced before. The closest he could liken it to was the sensation of his limbs freezing off that he felt on his second loop in this world, but even that comparison was a stretch.

Subaru's right thigh just suddenly felt like… nothing. Or rather, it felt like the same nothing you see when you close your eyes or when you suddenly turn off the lights. It was nothing and yet something. It was frozen, unfeeling, yet not gone.

As that sensation spread from his leg up towards his hip, it suddenly changed.

Subaru, still scraping against the grass at a high speed, glanced down, finding an ever-growing trail of purple-pink shards and… nothing where his leg once was.

The pink cloud of dust that came from his glass-like leg grinding against the ground was certainly strange, but Subaru could feel that cloud. Every single piece of him that had been affected by the wave of stagnant time that was his Minya spell was still a part of him.

And it was then that the odd but not unpleasant feeling grew disgusting, revolting, traumatic.

This feeling was suddenly oddly, creepily, disturbingly reminiscent of his least favorite sensation in the world. Each shard of glass and every individual particle of dust felt like it held a persevered shard of his consciousness… his splintered consciousness.

As the spell's effects spread quickly up his torso and towards his neck, his form became so altered that his head—having hit a slight decline—flew upwards into the air. There was neither blood nor pain, just a severed head gliding through the air, purple dust trailing off it as ice trails after a comet.

But the face on that head was full of fear. The expression Subaru's last piece held was one akin to the shellshock of battle-hardened soldiers hearing fireworks go off.

There were no coherent thoughts in his mind, just utter fear that he'd return to that dreadful state of being, of his mind splintering into a thousand frogs or a billion bacteria. It was a primordial fear and it was the last thing Natsuki Subaru felt as he lost his life.

Chapter Text

Natsuki Subaru had died more times than he could care to count. He'd suffered innumerable horrific deaths in more ways than anyone else could even imagine. He'd seen so much, lived through so much, suffered through so much, died so many times, that, to a certain extent, he had developed a near immunity to pain.

But it wasn't quite all the way there. Subaru wasn't quite emotionally dead; he wasn't done with the sensations life had to offer him. A stab wound may have meant nothing but a scratch to him and bleeding out hardly tingled anymore, but there were still experiences that would forever haunt him.

Subaru's tired eyelids snapped open and widened as much as they physically could. As his pupils adjusted to the light, a feeling that he'd long since forgotten continued to linger in his mind:

Absolute, unmitigated fear.

Subaru jolted up from bed, his breathing like that of a terrified mouse as he threw his back against the headboard. His eyes darted everywhere and nowhere, looking for anything and nothing. Visual stimulus didn't even register in his mind. The gears in his brain spun like a hamster on a wheel, alone and isolated in its cage. His thoughts too were looped, frantic, and completely disconnected from reality.

"NonononononononononoIamSubaruIammeIamwholeIamSubaruIammeIamwholeSubaruIammeIamwholeIamSubaruIammeIamwholenononononononononono."

His heart pounded in his ears, the back of his head ached with the pain of slamming into the hard wood of the bed, and his whole body jittered to the point of convulsion—a cold sweat instantly coating him. And yet, Subaru ignored it. Or rather, Subaru did not—no, could not acknowledge it.

His fight or flight response was completely broken, the adrenaline rapidly pumping through his veins unable to keep up with the sheer, unbridled panic he began to lose himself in. He was being totally consumed by that fear, drowning in a viscous ocean of tar where not even a sense of up and down truly existed.

There was nothing to direct him nor give time meaning. He held no perception of space nor recognition of the world's temporal flow. To say that he was unable to think was an understatement. Subaru was wholly unable to even sense anything, trapped within a fearful void produced by his own mind.

He could not taste, so the dryness of his mouth did not occur to him. He could not hear, so the magical clock on the wall did not tick. He could not feel, so every strained and uneven breath meant nothing. And with every second that passed, Subaru fell further and further into the detached reality that was the recesses of his own mind.

But it could not entirely shut down every sense, as much as that fearful void tried. His taste buds caught the faintest hint of saliva, his ears picked up on a low dull hum, and a buzz like tv static spread across his body. Among these blurred, dulled, and faint shadows of reality's lingering connection to him, one sense among them stood out strongest: sight.

He could not see the colors, shapes, or even vague outlines of whatever it was that surrounded him—and even if he did, he would have been unable to process said sights—but he could still register the fact that light entered his pupils, register the existence of brightness around him, and likewise register when said brightness vanished for a fraction of a second.

Like the rhythmic, shining flicker of a distant lighthouse in the darkest of stormy nights, each blink marked a sort of forward progression; it was a ticking of his body's own internal clock that no amount of fear could silence. Each and every quivering blink created a contrast to disrupt the uniform brightness he saw around him. And each time that contrast came and went, he was afforded an oddly comforting granule of stimulus. It was a tether to reality, a sense that he was not stuck as he was in that moment forever, a sense of up and down in that ocean of tar.

And so, with each and every blink, he swam up.

Blink.

Blink.

Blink.

His frantic breaths began to steady.

Blink.

Blink.

Blink.

The instinctive grasp he held on the sheets below him loosened.

Blink.

Blink.

Blink.

And finally, the looped thinking he held grew less and less intense, the momentum of his thoughts slowing then stopping, until he found himself finally free of it.

Subaru started to recognize the world around him once more. He began to process that he was no longer in that state akin to being fragmented, splintered, and torn apart by some vile creature's Lust.

Blink.

Blink.

Blink.

But just as his mind became his own once more, everything came back to him.

Blink.

Blink.

Blink.

Everything all at once.

Blink.

Blink.

Bli—

From absolute fear to knuckle-whitening frustration, from incomprehensible rage to unbearable guilt, a chaotic storm of emotions surged into the confines of his mind, brewing into a truly awful concoction of barely coherent thoughts. Subaru was put together, put together enough to think again, to think beyond his traumatic response to fear. But…

nk.

It was too much.

He did not blink again. His eyes widened instead, not caring—not being able to care—about their sudden dryness. And then, his lips tore apart from each other and his mouth opened wide. He let loose a blood curdling scream, externalizing that vile concoction in his mind, and it expressed itself in the only way it could: with feral, primal violence.

Subaru kicked his legs out, not able to consider the consequences of doing so. He thrashed around from his place against the headboard, flinging the sheets and whatever else, anything else that found itself in his path. He thrust over and over, using every muscle he could to keep the world around him at bay, keep everything at bay, to the point where his legs burned.

His breathing grew frantic once more, even more so than when he had first awoken. His lungs felt like they were burning, burning just like his legs. The ripping of cold air in and shoving of warm air out tore and scraped at his insides, only intensifying that fire within him. Soon enough, his eyes too burned, still dry and still stressed by his short but intense scream. Stars crept their way across the corners of his increasingly blurry vision, the few smudges he could see growing even more obscured and incomprehensible than before.

With everything burning, everything hurting, and his mind in total chaos, he leaned further into those primal instincts. His arms crossed over his chest in a defensive posture and he gripped down on his triceps with his hands. But it wasn't enough, he wasn't safe, the burning wouldn't stop, that which filled his mind could not be silenced. And so he squeezed. He clenched down on his triceps; his nails sunk through the fabric of his clothes and instantly pierced his own skin. His heart pounded in his ears, pounded in his chest, pounded in his arms. All Subaru could do was grip tighter and tighter, trying to silence the raging river of madness with a sacrifice of his own oozing blood.

Each thought he had spent no more than a fraction of a second at the forefront of his consciousness. He wasn't thinking in words anymore, just flashes of individual images: his failed loops, his past, his trauma, his bonds, his beloved, his enemies… He jumped between thoughts of each of these things and more, his thinking disjointed, disconnected, splintered despite his consciousness being whole. He winced from the combined mental and physical pain. His teeth ground down on themselves and his bleeding arms shook. Even more sweat coated his body and his brain itself trembled. But, just as before, his eyelids quivered along with every other muscle in his body. A lighthouse presented itself to the madman lost within his own mind.

Blink.

Blink.

Blink.

A few seconds passed, blood pouring out from under his whitened fingertips and soaking into his tracksuit jacket. But, he ceased his thrashing; he calmed his breathing.

Blink.

Blink.

Blink.

The storm began to slowly ease, but not stop; the rapids calmed but did not cease to rock the boat. The pounding in his ears, the pounding in his chest, and the pounding in his arms quieted, no more than a dull hum emitting from each now.

Blink.

Blink.

Blink.

With the burning of his eyes, the burning of his legs, and the burning of his lungs all easing once more, that burning in his arms was all that truly remained.

Blink.

Blink.

Blink.

His tight grip loosened, his meager offering no longer required. His fingers regained their color, and his arms cautiously relaxed.

Blink.

Blink.

Blink.

The echoes of somewhat rational thought trickled into his mind.

Blink.

Blink.

Blink.

And then, his bearings somewhat regained, he started to piece together where he was.

Blink.

Blink.

Blink.

What he was doing.

Blink.

Blink.

Blink.

Who he was fighting.

Blink.

Blink.

Bli—nk.

And just like that, his grip renewed, his fingers plunging themselves into the muscle of his arms, growing white once more. His heart rate skyrocketed, the pounding and burning sensations returning to him. And a whole new primary emotion filled him with that fear suppressed and chaotic thinking ordered: utter frustration.

"Damn it, damn it, damn it…" he muttered to himself, giving form and substance to that which had once been trapped within his head.

"DAMN IT, DAMN IT, DAMN IT…" he began to shout, growing louder with every word, but still muffled as his head trembled, his sights pointed downwards.

"DAMN IT, DAMN IT, DAMN IT, WHY DOESN'T ANYTHING FUCKING WORK!?" he screamed at the top of his lungs, snapping his head back up, a fire burning in his eyes.

And with the sudden clapping noise of a slap across his face, Subaru's train of thought was entirely derailed. He blinked, surprised but largely unaffected by the pain. His blurry vision focused and he finally saw a little girl standing on the bed beside him, a shoe in hand, tears pouring down her guilt-ridden face.

"TALK TO ME, SUBARU! OR, OR IS BETTY TOO USELESS TO EVEN LISTEN?!" she screamed back, not a hint of her composed facade left intact.

"WHAT IS GOING ON, IN FACT?!" she continued, her own frustration almost pleading in comparison to Subaru's.

He paused for a short moment, his thoughts scrambling to catch up to reality. The first thing that came to his mind was the notion that he loved this girl. He cared for her, truly cared for her in a way he didn't think possible until coming to this timeline. Normally, he would try to console her, comfort her, be there for her as she had for him. But at that very moment, he was not even close to being composed.

At that very moment, Subaru. Was. Pissed.

"GLUTTONY IS HERE AND BY NOW THE PERSON I LOVE MOST IS ALMOST CERTAINLY GONE ALREADY, THAT'S WHAT!"

His grip released from his bloodied arms, Subaru let out a torrent of frustration-laden words, aimed right for Beatrice. She could only flinch in response, silent as he straightened from his nearly curled up position and pointed directly in her face.

"AND EVERY SECOND, EVERY FUCKING SECOND I SPEND EXPLAINING TO YOU WHAT'S WRONG IS ONE WHERE I LOSE WHAT LITTLE HOPE IS LEFT, OKAY?!"

The silence that followed lingered for a few short seconds, each fresh breath of air bringing a much needed cool to him—the buzzing in his ears like the sizzle of a hot pan under cold water. And as that pointed finger lowered, Beatrice muttered a single word that got through to his slowly calming mind.

"Subaru…" she said, fresh tears streaking down her face. She wrapped her trembling arms around him, gentle, like she'd burn if she pressed too hard. He too was trembling, only freezing up as her embrace enveloped him.

But she did not burn as she held him tighter. She did not let herself be pushed away by his outburst. As Subaru indulged in a brief moment of catharsis, Beatrice put together the words for a suggestion she knew he'd hate—a suggestion that seemed entirely necessary.

"If…" she started, uncertain and uneasy.

"If the threat is really as great as you say, then—"

"No."

Beatrice glanced up and met his gaze, finding it hardened.

"No, I'm not calling him."

She retracted her arms, and replied with a quiver in her voice that matched the rest of her form, "But… why? He could—"

"I'M NOT CALLING THE DAMN SWORD SAINT TO SAVE HER AGAIN!" he screamed once more, swiping to his right and slamming his fist against the headboard, an audible crack ringing out.

"I'm the Sin Archbishop of Pride, damn it!" Beatrice flinched at the title, and he brought his now broken hand back to his side. "I'm not some helpless civilian waiting for a white knight to come save me! To save MY Emilia!"

"I will save her!" He placed his bleeding hand on his chest.

"I… I have to…" His voice trembled along with that hand.

"It has to be me…" He gripped his shirt, but he still shook in place.

Beatrice regarded her contractor—this self-proclaimed Pride with no actual connection to the Witch Cult, according to his story last night—for a long moment, struggling to keep her vision from blurring. He sat with his back against the bed's headboard, blood staining both arms of his tracksuit, his right hand visibly broken in several places. Sometimes, the degree to which her Subaru could damage himself was almost impressive, but that feat was always overshadowed by her unyielding concern.

His face was pale and sweaty, to the extent where he seemed sickly. His mood was beyond volatile and one wrong word would… had made him explode. And on top of all of that, he'd been having nightmares ever since the early morning, ever since ██████ had left him.

Her head ached for a moment. Who had left him? Why had Subaru's nightmares started? It… hurt to think about for some odd reason.

Beatrice cast this train of thought aside.

"Betty has to be strong, strong for her Subaru."

She closed her eyes and blinked away the beginnings of tears before opening them once more. Her vision clear, Beatrice could see Subaru's expression further changing, his rage fading to reveal an awful melancholy underneath, that same melancholy that nearly tore him apart when her Subaru had first walked through those library doors mere days ago. His frustration melted away, that Pride melted away, only to be replaced by something just as crippling, overtaken by those sins she now truly understood. And so, Beatrice chose to act.

"Very well, I suppose. We'd best get moving, in fact," she said, unwilling to watch him break down again. His heart couldn't take it. Her heart couldn't take it.

"Betty… Betty is not strong enough to carry her Subaru's sins all on her own. Betty is a failure, in fact," she thought, despair once again filling her, threatening to drown her.

At her words, Subaru sighed in relief and shuffled his way off the bed. His breathing visibly calmed, and the shaking of his body eased. And just seeing that was enough to keep Beatrice going.

She forced an image of his smiling face into her mind and swatted that despair away, banishing that sadness from her mind for her Subaru's sake.

"Truly helpless, I suppose."

Subaru spun around once off the bed and moved to grab his partner by her sides, only to be interrupted.

"Subaru."

He paused mid-motion, and looked up at the girl. She was smiling now—a shaky smile, but a smile nonetheless.

"Betty told you to talk to her, to trust in her as she trusts in you," she said, unmoving from her standing position on the bed, her arms crossed.

"Beako, we don't have ti—"

"Turn around."

He scowled, but complied regardless. Once he was fully turned, Beatrice gracefully hopped off the bed and latched onto his back, ready for a piggyback ride.

"If we are to move as quickly as possible, this way would be best, in fact."

As she spoke, Subaru pivoted on his heels and bent his knees, ready to sprint towards the window.

"Subaru, stop," she called from behind him.

"What is it this time?!"

"Did you forget that Betty can teleport us both to any place in the mansion, I suppose?" she answered, calm. "Just tell Betty where we need to be, in fact."

"I—" Subaru started, but then stopped.

"I don't know why," he muttered, staring down at his balled and bleeding right fist, "...why I didn't consider that…"

"For the same reason you won't call the Sword Saint."

His fist tightened, the shattered bones within tearing up against ligaments and veins alike. The pain was nothing to him in comparison to the wretched nature of the mere thought of asking for…

Either side of his face was slapped by a pair of dainty, pale hands, yet again derailing his thought process with the sound of a light clap.

"Don't give Betty that look, I suppose. Just because she doesn't see it doesn't mean she doesn't know it's there," Beatrice said. Subaru could practically see her expression through that familiar tutor-like tone.

"We're wasting time," he replied, bitter.

"Then tell Betty where to go."

"...the courtyard at the mansion's entrance."

Instantly, the carpet he'd been standing on twisted and distorted, before a tear in reality opened at their feet and they began to fall through without any issue.

"Was that so hard, I suppose?"

"I love you, but shut up."

Gently landing on his two feet with Beatrice still clinging to his back, Subaru was not greeted with the increasingly familiar sight of the mansion's ruined courtyard. Instead, quickly analyzing his surroundings as he always did, he found himself at the center of a place he'd only recently grown acquainted with: the mansion's entrance hall.

His sights swiftly passed over the geometrically patterned white and lime-green tiled floor, and shot left towards the grand staircase he'd sprinted his way down not long ago. But that too did not hold his attention for more than a moment. He darted his gaze back rightwards, where it lingered on the large double doors to the dining room. For a short moment, he envisioned the yellow maid who'd somewhat earned his respect, totally focused on the completion of her duties and entirely unaware of the battle that was no doubt raging just a short walk away. Something that ridiculous almost made him chuckle, but the thought of the crisis at hand destroyed any chance humor had at worming its way into his mind.

"I'm no better than her. Not once, but twice I walked right through this very hall only to turn my back on Emilia-tan when she needed me most."

He scowled deeply at that thought, his frustration boiling to the surface once more. But he quickly readjusted his focus, pivoting on his feet yet again. He faced the mansion's primary doors, his heated gaze determined, and began to march right towards his intended destination. His attention directed ahead, the muffled sounds of combat—of metal clashing, magic exploding, and earth moving—trickled into the edges of his hearing. That scowl grew ever deeper. But then, only a few meters from the door, Beatrice's voice interrupted him yet again.

"Subaru."

Grinding to a halt, he replied, not even trying to control his tone, "What's the deal, Beako?! We need to be out there right now!"

"Since Betty can not remember them, that important person is already gone. What good does charging in blindly with no plan nor strategy do?" she shot back, the lack of offense or hesitation in her own voice giving Subaru pause.

That pause was all he needed to process those words of hers. His Emilia-tan was already gone, and he had just tried running out to face Gluttony without a plan not five minutes ago. He took a calming breath and relaxed the muscles he hadn't even noticed had been tensed, the scowl he hadn't realized the depth of fading as his expression grew neutral. He closed his eyes for a moment in thought.

And in that silent moment, he finally processed that which he had done, and that which he had failed to do. Flashes of Roy's hungry, needy look filled his mind, drops of saliva left falling in the air from where he had teleported from. Images of Beatrice's confused, desperate attempt to fight back and her earlier death—no, a fate even worse than death—at that hungry boy's hands too asserted itself within his awareness. The sight of Garfiel, Ram, the yellow maid, and even his precious Emilia-tan all lifeless on the ground, gone from the world, lingered amongst his thoughts.

Recalling this, seeing this, truly acknowledging what had happened, Subaru felt beyond conflicted. He felt an awful guilt for how he had treated his partner, an even greater rage at the weakest Gluttony sibling, and… something even more.

All it took was a moment to pause, a moment to reflect, and those somethings he had pushed away from his heart through sheer force of will, through the wielding of his stubbornness and Pride, came crawling back in. Subaru felt beyond frustrated, beyond angry, beyond enraged. His very heart was ablaze. And now, he could feel something on top of that too. That slithering, creeping sensation he'd grown accustomed to had entrenched itself in his soul, taken hold of his entire body, and he even felt its slimy traces along the periphery of his skull. He could feel its influence seeping into his thoughts, feel it starting to fan the flames of his rage. But that was when Subaru realized something equally terrifying and disgusting: this was not a new feeling.

This whole time, ever since he'd first manifested the Authority two days ago, this revolting alien power he'd scorned had been poking and prodding at his greatest desire; it had been pushing him to embrace his oldest promise time and time again in the only way he knew how.

"Just you wait… I swear, I will definitely save you."

Recalling those sacred words, Subaru's fury intensified, but this time of his own volition. He hated it; his prideful self despised this manipulation, this violation of his love for Emilia. He did not die Satisfied. He could stand to be a little more Greedy. He could want more, need more, save more. The madman had changed since coming to this timeline. He was different now, better now. And he refused to allow this Slothful something to deny his rights any further.

But something else was there too, that Greedy something too had been compelling him, even if to far less success. It wanted to save them, to comfort them, to be there for those he cared for. And in his Slothful haste, he had ignored his promise from just last night, his latest promise to the woman he loved.

"Maybe to try to save them too, I guess?"

Subaru opened his eyes and gazed down at his broken hand, seeing it still clenched into a fist. Yet, something felt off… as if what he was seeing was not the full truth. He narrowed his eyes and looked closer. Seemingly coating his hand—no, his entire arm—in a thin film of indeterminate darkness, Subaru saw the signature shadow-black appendage of his Authority of Sloth, his 「Lunatic Limbs」.

"Note: Has properties of rubber, gum, and normal Unseen Hands depending on intent and will of user."

"Causes and feeds off of madness, can be a variety of shapes instead of just hands, yet always starts by overlapping with my own appendages."

Repeating his mental note from the previous afternoon, Subaru determined to dispel his subconsciously manifested authority. He tried to open his hand, but it resisted his command. Subaru's fingers did not simply lift; he was forced to pry each one out of their clenched state. Just revealing his palm felt like moving his hand around in a bucket of cement, and the broken bones and torn up muscles—which he now realized had been all caused by this vile power—didn't help one bit in the effort.

But as those muscles relaxed and the rest of his body fell totally under his command once more, the inky shadow faded away, along with the worst of his fury. His heart rate calmed, his breathing truly steadied for the first time all morning, and his scowl totally disappeared. Subaru felt like he could finally breathe again. His brain ceased trembling. But, looking at his open palm, he felt something… unique. That Slothful something gave him compulsions, ones that had nearly overtaken his mind, body, and soul. However, that Greedy something too gave him compulsions but… they were always lesser than the Slothful ones. It was like the sound of a man snapping his fingers in comparison to a gunshot. Perhaps its effect too would be lesser, weaker in intensity, easier to control, more reasonable in its demands?

Perhaps he could give that Greedy force a chance?

With that gunshot now muffled, he listened closer to what that Greedy something had to say for the first time. And, like a dam bursting open and water surging into the valley beyond, a barrage of Beatrice's past words echoed through his mind once more.

"I thought that you 'don't want to do it all alone anymore', in fact."

"Did Betty's Subaru not beg for help from others just last night, in fact?"

"Betty's Subaru must be honest with her, in fact. You need to trust Betty with your problems, I suppose."

"Betty's help to stand, Betty's voice to look forward, Betty's hands to keep you together… to choose you over Betty's past and to clear a path to our future… that is what we agreed upon, I suppose."

"Betty is sorry that she wasn't enough, sorry that she allowed our future to be doomed."

"TALK TO ME, SUBARU! OR, OR IS BETTY TOO USELESS TO EVEN LISTEN?!"

Tears slithered down Subaru's face. This Greedy force… this thing that he had hated and cast aside… it was… right?

"Subaru?" Beatrice's voice, this time outside of his mind, spoke out from behind him, shaking him from his near-delusional state.

He took one last deep breath, steadying his hand that he only now noticed had begun to quiver, and pieced together a response. "We… we can't kill them in any normal way. They're too damn resistant to any attack we try and they can nearly instantly teleport out of the way of any projectile, magical or physical."

Those few tears grew in number; his steadied hand and voice quivered even more than before.

"Not even creatively using your portals against them will work, they can figure out how to circumvent them. Worse, anything we can do they can do should they touch us even once—subjecting their victims to a fate worse than death in the process."

His once stalwart stance faltered as his legs began to tremble; wetness overtook his face, yet he began to speak even faster.

"We only stand a chance because they go easy on us. This is all just a game to them, a pass-time, a simple meal. They're just kids playing with their food, tormenting us in our last moments because they find it entertaining. They care not for anything but their own stomachs, and will tear through anyone and anything in their paths as if it's nothing, as if all our love and hope and pride is fucking worthless in the face of their godforsaken Gourmet and Bizzare Eating. They—"

This time, his train of thought was not derailed by a slap, but rather the feeling of Beatrice's tightest embrace. He breathed in deep, not even noticing that he'd run out of air, his shaking left detached from the small of her back and felt his newly tear-laden face, and he found his knees pressed against the hard tiled floor. When had he cried all those tears? When did he return her embrace? When had he even fallen apart?

"Subaru," she began, and he gave her words his full attention. "Betty has a plan, to use a spell that can wipe out even the most stubborn of pests engulfed by its effects, in fact."

He held her close as she elaborated, taking even more comfort from the hug than her words.

The mansion's primary doors burst open to reveal Subaru, clad in his tracksuit. An outside observer could not be faulted for seeing him standing alone, but, in actuality, Beatrice stood just behind him, passively using her yin magic to shield herself from view as she dedicated the majority of her focus to the preparation of a far more complex spell.

Subaru, looking out beyond the mansion, was greeted by the largely destroyed courtyard. One of the gazebos had already been demolished and the lawn was in an intermediate state of disrepair. Otherwise, it was nothing he hadn't seen before and he paid it little mind. Shifting his focus, in the distance, he spotted a pair of still in motion blurs he knew to be the elder Gluttony brother locked in battle with Ram. Closer, near the foot of the stairs, he saw Roy standing over Garfiel's lifeless corpse, right where Subaru had died not too long ago. Casting his attention away from the archbishop in the midst of enjoying his meal, Subaru cleared his throat and yelled:

"LEY BATENKAITOS!"

One of the distant blurs slowed and Ley's head turned mid-fight, a smile wide enough to see from far away coming to his face at the call of his name. But, with his attention diverted, Ley's opponent took the chance to say something herself.

"El fula!"

Still looking towards the mansion, Ley jumped out of the way of Ram's attack without sparing her a glance and shouted back, "SUBARU-KUN, MY HERO! HAVE YOU COME TO SAVE ME FROM RAM ~TSU?! SHE'S BEING MEAN! OR ARE YOU HERE TO FULFILL THE PROMISE? WILL YOU BE THE HERO? REGULUS IS DEAD, BUT WE'RE NOT, ~TSU!"

"Get your ass over here, you and your deranged brother both! I want to talk!" Subaru replied, standing confident at the mansion's entrance.

"Talk with a Witch Cultist, in fact? Betty understands your self-proclaimed title, but this is not what Betty meant when she asked for time, I suppose," Beatrice mumbled from just behind him, still hidden by her magic and her eyes still snapped shut with concentration.

Subaru did not reply to her whispers, but noted her odd remark. Had she been listening in to his talk with Emilia last night? Casting that thought aside, Subaru marched forward and stopped near the top of the steps which Roy still stood at the base of.

"Talk? Talk with us?" Ley said, smiling, as he casually walked on over. Ram had vanished from sight, taking the opportunity Ley's shift in attention had given her, but Subaru doubted she'd so easily abandon this fight. "Why shouldn't we just eat you right here and now ~tsu?" Ley asked, more excited than confused at Subaru's odd request.

"Niiiii-san, but we want to eat again…" Roy began to complain from the bottom of the stairs, his hunger not fully sated by a single meal.

But, right as Ley was going to respond, Subaru spoke again, "Louis Arneb will die if you don't."

He had mentally prepared to intimidate the boy, readied himself for a dozen ways the conversation could go and thought of how to extend the time he was buying for his partner's spell. Natsuki Subaru was entirely ready for a tense negotiation with Gluttony.

However, before he could put on the most smug of smiles, before he could breathe in to continue speaking, before he could even blink after making his statement, Natsuki Subaru had already lost his life.

He had died suddenly in the past, he had died without warning when he'd thought himself entirely safe before, but this was on a whole other level. Ley had killed him so quickly that Subaru didn't even realize he'd died until he shot up in bed, and noticed that he was back in his room, Beatrice visible by his side, rather across from his opponent.

Beatrice, having not slapped sense into him, having not given him that hug, having not guided him to realizing the corruption of his own mind, was sitting there by his side. Not standing beside him, not ready to cast her spell and finally get rid of Ley…

Ley Batenkaitos… a child, a pain in his ass, a monster dressed in rags. He was not to be underestimated, Subaru knew that going in, knew to not trust anything in this godforsaken fantasy world's appearance. He explained this to Beatrice, explained that they only stood a chance because he liked to play with his food, because of his delusional ideals of Gourmet.

And yet, Subaru had done the one thing, the only goddamn thing that would make Ley throw that away, that would make Ley take it seriously. Subaru threatened Ley's family, and instantly destroyed any chance Beatrice had to prepare her spell. His part of his partner's plan was what doomed it to immediate failure. All because his first instinct was… to say he'd murder.

He wanted to apologize to Beatrice and tell her he loved her, he wanted to slam his head against a wall and scream at himself for failing, he wanted go down to Meili and confess to her how foolish he was for thinking he could break his habits of murder and extortion. Guilt, frustration, remorse—those feelings and more all coursed through him as he reflected on his anticlimactic and useless death. Above all, though, one learned sentiment stood out in his mind:

Note: Ley does not negotiate.

"Subaru?"

He glanced up, and saw Beatrice holding that same facade as always, that composed mask that hid a fountain of tears just underneath. That was something he had to address, but for now… he had a plan that needed enacting, one that his partner was essential for.

"Beako," he began, "Gluttony is here, both brothers."

"As soon as I finish explaining, I need you to teleport us both to the front of the mansion."

Subaru stood tall beside Beatrice, having appeared near the center of the courtyard, facing the direction of the doors he'd walked through in the previous loop. He gave the destruction around him no mind, in particular not allowing himself the distraction of Emilia's lifeless body nearby, as he'd seen it all before, and instead moved to locate every combatant. A loud crash immediately drew Subaru's attention to the splintered remains of one of the gazebos. Through the dust, he saw the earth itself moving to aid a familiar demihuman. A violent stray gust of wind redirected his sights to his far right, where Subaru spotted a pair of blurs—one brown and one pink—darting around a small section of the outskirts of the front garden.

"Then you need to immediately teleport both the boy dressed in rags and the maid he's fighting as far away as you can manage."

Subaru glanced down to see his partner's hand raised, palm pointed at the blurs. She gave no incantation, but the spell was clear as day in its activation; the air, the grass, the ground, the space itself around the fighters warped and stretched before totally tearing open in a burst of purple magic. Before they vanished, Subaru could see that Ley had stopped moving, and was locking his gaze with Subaru's own. Deflecting a wind blade without looking, Ley smiled wide—he could escape the spell at any time, go and instantly devour Subaru, but… that wasn't how Ley prepared his meals. So, Batenkaitos allowed himself to be sent away with Ram, just as Subaru had grown to expect. Let him play with his food, Subaru would take down his precious brother when Ley wasn't looking.

But Pride lacked the time to savor that thought. There was so much left to do. He ran directly towards the shifting earth and screams of exertion, letting go of Beatrice's free hand. As he pushed himself through step after step, he noted how easily he moved. It wasn't even part of the plan, but Beatrice had casted murak on him anyway before he'd started his sprint. A smile crept onto his face as he opened his mouth to shout.

"HEY, CAT MAN! WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T LET HIM TOUCH YOU!"

Flying directly through the collapsed gazebo, Garfiel spun his body around and planted his feet into the ground, slowing himself down to a halt beside the man he so despised.

"I, fuckin', KNOW!"

"After that, we'll be in for the fight of our lives against his starved younger brother, so you'll have to leave my side once Ley is certainly gone, and fetch the yellow maid from the kitchen as fast as you can."

Leaping right up to them, appearing just in front of where the gazebo had once stood, Roy was set to eat Garfiel in a matter of seconds; they were standing not far from where Subaru always found the demihuman's lifeless body and shattered shields. Thinking on his feet and seeing that Garfiel was maintaining his defensive posture, Subaru had to do something to save them both, and quick. Luckily, he felt his weight return to him, and that gave him an idea.

He called forth that terrible slithering darkness out from within him, and willed it to mold around his right arm, down his back, and into the base of his feet. He wound up said limb, doing so against the same resistance felt when pulling back the string of a bow, and forced that malicious fist of his into an open palm despite its demands for blood and gore. And then, he released. Ripping through the air with as much power as he could put behind it, Subaru threw his strike in a curved motion.

For a moment, Garfiel's eyes widened at Subaru's incoming attack, then narrowed with a sense of utter hate, before realizing—as the blow landed right in the demihuman's stomach and began to apply a powerful torque to him—that it was no attack at all. Subaru pushed Garfiel out of Roy's way with all his might. He pushed and pushed, shoving Sanctuary's Shield to turn a full 180 degrees, and then sending him flying.

Working in unison with the one he despised, Garfiel molded the earth under him, summoning forth a jutting angled pillar out from below his feet and adding to the momentum Subaru had given him. With his hand that lacked a shield, he grabbed that arm Subaru had just broken and held it tight, forcing them to fly through the air together, away from the mansion and right towards the nearby forest.

They landed nearly as fast as they had taken flight, Subaru having to use his 「Lunatic Limbs」 once more to reinforce his legs. He was able to save his left from most of the damage, but several bones broke in his right; at least he could still hop around a bit. Stumbling backwards before supporting himself with a tree, he looked up to see Garfiel scowling at him.

"Don't think my amazin' self's gonna thank ya. We're both still in a worse spot than a meier trapped below a—"

Garfiel spun on his heels, and raised his fists in a defense posture, facing where they'd just come from. If nothing else, Subaru could respect the boy's grit, seeing as his whole body was in a condition almost as bad as Subaru's own. Even with constant healing, the demihuman was covered in his own blood, his every breath a heave, and the exhaustion… it took a lot to keep standing in the face of the starved Bizarre Eating, especially for so long. Subaru knew that from first-hand experience.

He had to cast that thought aside, along with the accompanying guilt that that Greedy force incessantly nagged him with, and ready himself once more. Through a gap in the trees, Subaru could see Roy chaining Leaper after Leaper right towards them. But, just as Roy lunged towards the closest meal he saw, the space in front of him tore open and he flew through a portal. Subaru smiled at this, almost chuckling at seeing it happen yet again, and closed his eyes for a moment as he spoke.

"For a second there, I didn't think you'd get back in time."

"Hmpf, Betty's Subaru should not doubt her, I suppose."

Subaru looked up, and turned to see the yellow maid standing just beside his partner, as disoriented as she was exhausted. Being dead on her feet was fine, the adrenaline that would come with the battle would fix that, but the confusion could be catastrophic. He needed her on board, fast.

"Oi! Maid!" he called, grabbing her attention before the cat man could somehow ruin it all, "We're fighting one of the three sin archbishops of Gluttony. His name is Roy Alphard, the Bizzare Eating, and he is not to be underestimated on account of his age and attitude. Get ready, he'll be back in a moment."

The maid gave an unexpected response to that deluge of information, her sights having drifted away from him as he spoke. "Of course, Subaru-sama," she replied—and if it were anyone else, he may have thought she'd ignored him, but he knew for a fact that she was listening—before her face scrunched up, continuing with an uncharacteristically uncertain cadence, "But if I may ask… who is that boy?"

"What?" Garfiel deadpanned, his defensive posture waning.

"Ah, fuck," Subaru muttered under his breath, before moving to explain, "Listen, Garfiel, your name's been eaten and you've been erased from the world's memory, myself excluded. That's one of Gluttony's powers. Even your sister is unable to remember you."

"Yer a damn'd liar!" the cat man who had of course ruined it all because that was what he always does and Subaru was never forgiving him for what he did to his mayo exclaimed.

"Betty does not remember you either, in fact," Beatrice interjected, leveling a glare at Garfiel, "So you'd best save your breath for the fight ahead instead of wasting it doubting Betty's Subaru, I suppose."

Naturally, the nameless shield went to escalate the argument while Beatrice adopted an even harsher expression, but Subaru cut everyone off. The fact that he was the level-headed one here… yeah, not the time to reflect on that.

"OKAY! That's enough of that." He motioned to clap, before realizing that his right arm was entirely limp. "I'll catch you two up to speed if we survive, but for now try and work together to stop us from getting killed… or worse."

The bickering parties broke off, with Beatrice coming to stand by Subaru's side. The yellow maid cautiously approached her brother, and as she tore off her clothes, beginning a full beast transformation, Subaru gave his partner his full attention.

She didn't need to say a word, her butterfly-patterned eyes stared up at him and told him everything he needed to know. Several layers of concern wafted off of the spirit: she wanted to heal him, worried about their plan, troubled herself with the demihuman siblings' drama for the sake of the plan, suppressed her feelings of inadequacy at letting him lean against a tree with a broken body, and even more all at once. He shoved down his own guilt, his own feelings of failure, that warmth in his eyes that made him want to break down and cry again, and instead chose to put on a smile, taking his left hand and placing it on the girl's head.

"Next step, Beako," he said, as she sheepishly accepted his head pat.

But there was no time for sentimentality. Just as Beatrice had a role to play, so did he. Spirit and contractor both went to work, the former closing her eyes in concentration and the later redirecting his attention to the ensuing conflict.

Beside the now familiar sight of Garfiel's defensive posture stood the large cougar-like form of the beastly yellow maid. Naturally, she'd quickly shaken off the pain that came with so much as looking at her nameless brother, and steeled herself for the battle—truly, the model of a maid. But would a maid and a brat be enough to combat Roy Alphard?

Well, as Roy appeared once more through the gap in the trees, Subaru supposed that he'd shortly find the answer to said question.

"Once both Garfiel and his sister are fighting off Roy, begin to charge the mana for Al Shamac and use it when I signal."

From his place against the tree, Subaru watched in silence as sparks flew and the earth itself tore apart. The whole of the forest trembled under the intensity of the brawl, even the mighty oak that supported him shaking. Every second, trees uprooted and roars sounded out. It was clear that the yellow maid was taking great care to steer the battle as to remain in place. Otherwise, he and Beatrice would not have been safe standing so close to the conflict.

From what little he could see through the cloud of dirt, debris, and dust that obscured his vision, Subaru saw the siblings put up fledgling defense after fledgling defense… which Roy broke through over and over with increasing ease. Perhaps they'd've lasted longer, coordinated better, had Garfiel not lost his name, but even in that case it would only have been a matter of time until…

He had to keep going, keep dodging, keep fighting, keep being the shield they needed him to be, keep putting earth between himself and the enemy. Between his enemy and his sister. His sister that couldn't remember him anymore… no! No, he could not lose control, could not transform, could not stop dodging, could not stop being a shield.

The large cougar-like beast slammed down against the ground, hard, with the enemy not far behind. He had to put the earth between them, had to be a shield even when his body couldn't reach in time.

But the enemy was clever, the enemy was powerful, the enemy just teleported right through the earth, right through the shield, right through Garfiel as if he wasn't there, wasn't there just like he wasn't there in his sister's memory.

"NO!" he screamed, pushing his body forward, to stop the enemy, to—

"Frederica Baumann ~tsu!"

No? Why… was he so angry? Why had he pushed his body forward? Why did he need to be a shield here?

"Ahh, FINALLY! FOOD AFTER SO LONG~TSU!"

He scowled. His enemy was so damn happy with himself, so damn pleased. Garfiel wanted to go all out, slam the child into the ground, let that directionless rage lash out at the enemy.

And… why wouldn't he? What reason was there for him to stay in control? His head hurt when he thought about it, but there seemed to be nothing. He'd die fighting this child soon anyway. And if Garfiel Tinsel, the Shield of the Sanctuary, was to die, he'd die fighting to be Ram's shield, if nothing else.

Keep going, keep dodging, keep fighting, keep being the shield they needed him to be, keep putting earth between himself and the enemy—that mindset was worthless, a fruitless tactic. And so, he stopped being in control. And so, Garfiel let loose.

"Not yet, Beako."

Subaru watched the brief pause in fighting with baited breath. Although Roy wasn't moving and wouldn't for several seconds, he couldn't risk missing. There'd be a better opportunity soon anyway.

A hulking figure akin to a tiger—that Subaru noticed bore a striking resemblance to a certain cereal mascot—stood where Garfiel once had. The ground shook with each step it took, and its muscles bulged with barely contained rage. It dragged its fists up, lifting them above its head, and approached the still motionless Roy. It then slammed down with full force in an attack that sent shockwaves Subaru could feel, leaves falling from what few trees remained standing around him. Yet, it was nothing more than a cheap shop, one that hit Roy only because the boy was distracted by his food. Of course, the tiger probably didn't know this, or else it wouldn't have tried, and it certainly wouldn't have continued, slamming down over and over and over.

"Now, Beako."

The tiger's hands slammed down once more, but this time a loud crunch was heard, accompanied by a pained roar. It raised its hands from the crater it'd pummeled its enemy into, only to find them mangled and bloodied, as if they'd just slammed into something harder than even Garfiel's shields. As expected, Roy had used Carnivorous Beast, and unknowingly gave Beatrice the best shot she could ask for.

"Al Shamac."

As Roy went to lick his hand, the space around them twisted, far more violently and suddenly than with a standard portal. It tore and then never stopped tearing, the purple magic growing and strengthening and totally engulfing its targets. Within seconds, the spell completed, the dust settled, and there was simply nothing where the corpse of the yellow maid once laid, where her broken brother had been left behind, and where the Bizzare Eating had been trapped by his own insatiable appetite.

Finally, Subaru could breathe a sigh of re—

"Hey, onii-san."

Cold. The chill that voice sent down his spine was worse than a bucket of ice water, worse than even his beloved's magic. Goosebumps overtook his skin, his breath was forced to pause, and Subaru tentatively shifted his gaze left. Just across from the tree he leaned on, Subaru found a thin old man standing there, totally unscathed. But with that look, those words, that demeanor, Subaru knew exactly who had called to him.

"Louis… Arneb."

The wide smile that stretched itself across the old man's face pushed a ball bearing into Subaru's stomach, and it only grew in weight when he replied.

"So you really do know us ~tsu! How?"

To Subaru's left, in his peripheral vision, he saw Beatrice raise her palm, and began to cast a spell, "Min—"

But Louis had already Leaped right up to the girl, and said, "Solar Eclipse."

Before Beatrice could finish her incantation, the towering muscled form Louis had adopted raised his own palm, and obliterated the spirit before Subaru's very eyes. Once before, Subaru had seen Palm of the Fist King used on Beatrice. It had knocked her through the library and created a hole in her so big that the torrent of blue mana that was her essence leaked out until she was no more. But this… this was instantaneous. He already couldn't feel their contract anymore. Beatrice was gone without a trace, gone the instant Louis wanted her gone.

"Well, onii-san?"

Numb, Subaru turned to face the monster in a warrior's body, the monster that had just killed his partner, the monster that pretended to be a little girl. Of course she didn't care. Of course she was still focused on having her question answered. Of course Subaru had let this happen.

Was this really what he did it all for? Was this really all he accomplished by sacrificing all of the mansion's happiness? Is that what he called 'saving them all,' being no better than fucking Louis Arneb? The Greedy force was disgusted, and Subaru couldn't bring himself to disagree, not anymore.

Clearly, he'd failed. Clearly, he'd killed them all. Clearly, he was inept, unable to stick to a change for even a few minutes before he fucked it all up again. Worse, he couldn't even try again, as true death awaited him, coating him with a deep fear that he'd never known how to cope with. She'd eat him before he could kill himself through any normal means; that he knew for certain. Perhaps… he should use that ability to reset again? Perhaps… it would be better to allow that terrible force into his mind than to be eaten? Perhaps… he should just give up on that foolish hopeful promise he made?

"Well, well, isn't this quite the predicament."

Out of the forest, a blade flew directly at Louis, who simply responded, "Solar Eclipse." The gladiator-like body morphed into a fat one, whose face fully allowed Louis to express her malicious soul. The knife shattered upon impact with her skin, proving his suspicion that this was the source of the ever-annoying Carnivorous Beast.

Both Subaru and Louis turned to the source of the voice and blade, finding… a woman dressed in black, lurking in the shadows of the trees. It was Elsa Granhiert, The Bowl Hunter, but…

"Why?" Subaru asked.

"Why what, esteemed employer?" Elsa replied, confused as to what he was questioning with his life moments from ending. She took the opportunity to leave the shadows and approach him.

"Why did you save me?" he said, and before Elsa could respond he went on, "Why did you doom yourself? Why don't you just let me die, take Meili, and leave this place? Is Capella forcing you to do nothing?"

At this, the Bowel Hunter's usual smile faded, and she froze in place. Louis's reaction was the opposite; she strengthened her terrible grin and said, "Solar Eclipse," returning to the form of the old man. A moment later, she vanished, before announcing from atop a nearby tree, "Don't mind me, onee-san. Please, go ahead, answer onii-san's questions ~tsu."

With Elsa still shocked into silence, Subaru continued, "And now she's mocking me too, playing with my life like I'm just an ant under her looking glass."

He clenched his left fist, and forced his limp right side to do the same.

"Why won't anyone just… just walk away? Why won't anyone just leave my life and let us be happy?"

His brow furrowed, his teeth grit, and his nasty eyes sharpened to a deadly degree.

"Why must Gluttony devour us, Roswaal scheme against us, Ram and Garfiel try to do the same, Reinhard…"

He gripped his hair with both hands, and tore.

"WHY?! WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT SOMETHING FROM NATSUKI SUBARU?!"

His fistfuls of hair shook along with his whole body. The fear of true death, of failure, of anything and everything—it vanished, entirely supplanted by a frustration nearly on par with what he'd experienced at the start of his previous loop.

"Why can't these damn forces leave me be, these damn expectations? WHY?" he began to scream again, glaring right at Elsa, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE, WHY CAN'T I JUST DIE SATISFIED?!"

The Bowel Hunter's tension eased, her widened eyes returning to normal, but her tone grew stern and serious. She stood tall in the face of his all-consuming frustration, and answered honestly, "Because you promised me you would help Meili. You promised me that you would save her from what I couldn't, protect her from what I couldn't…"

He did not wait to reply, scoffing before refuting her assertion, "But I failed, Elsa. I'm not like Oliver. I can't help your sister."

Yet again, she froze at the use of a name Subaru shouldn't know, but he pressed on, "I know her, you know her. You think confinement will truly fix her? She's suffering down there, you know she is. Every day she must wonder if you're even still alive, if I'll even keep her alive to see tomorrow!"

Elsa raised her kukri blade to his eye, halting it only a centimeter away from his pupil. He didn't even flinch.

"That," she spat, her face contorted by pure disgust. "That look is why. That look tells me you know that's not true. That look I absolutely despise, that foolish and naive attitude where you neither accept death as an end nor resist it…" she said, her voice uncharacteristically shaking along with the blade—whether from bottled rage or something else, Subaru could not tell. "The fact you can have that look, yet still always win… that is why."

A moment of silence passed between the two, before Subaru ended it with a deep sigh, all that frustration going along with his breath. What remained was a chuckle, one that morphed into a fun-on laugh.

"A pep talk from the Bowel Hunter… what a bizzaro world this is indeed."

As he regained control of himself, Elsa retracted her blade. Subaru met her eye again, this time with a softened gaze rather than a glare.

"You truly are repulsive, Elsa Granhiert," he said with a natural smile.

"As are you, Natsuki Subaru," she replied, her lips ever-so-slightly curved upwards.

Subaru took a short moment to look over the scene around him. This section of the forest was devastated, and the front of the mansion was worse. All those he fought beside were gone without a trace, with the yellow maid and her brother further gone from even the world's memory. Ram was undoubtedly losing her fight against Ley, if she hadn't lost already. Emilia's lifeless body surely still laid in the courtyard.

He sighed, and allowed the emotions these images brought to pass through him as he processed the thought to its logical end.

He'd done it again. Last time it was Blue, the clown, Elsa, Meili, the man who could've been his friend… and even with his second chance, Subaru had sacrificed them all, to get to a point in the fight where the only option left was death? Had he even really changed? Would he just live with murder as a habit forever?

"But even the worst habits can be broken."

"Ah…"

That Greedy force, it offered Meili's hopeful words, words from the him that had somehow earned Elsa's hesitant hateful trust, and… it was right, again, wasn't it? It'd… always been right, hadn't it?

Subaru met Elsa's eye once more, that natural smile of his managing to persist on his face, "I'll do it, Elsa. I promised… promise to save them all."

"Big words from a dying man," she retorted, lightly shaking her head, "but… with your luck, clearly anything is possible, esteemed customer."

"Anything is a big word, onee-san." Louis, having once again adopted the form that granted her Carnivorous Beast, jumped down from her perch with a loud thump. Slowly stepping forward towards the pair, her usual smile was gone, replaced by something more contemplative, more intense, and even more threatening. "Satisfied… Satiated… let's see what makes you think you could ever achieve that ~tsu."

Her steps suddenly sped up, her expression yearning, hungry. But even in this situation, Subaru did not feel the cold her voice previously brought return. He had made a promise, and a pampered little girl would not stop him from fulfilling it.

As Subaru bit through his tongue in a practiced motion, Elsa jumped between him and Louis's charging form. "Ahh…" The image of the same woman, beaten and bloodied, surrounded by flames, the only thing standing between a fallen angel and Subaru, naturally came to the forefront of his awareness. It was almost… nostalgic. "So that's how you felt… the whole time, huh."

Gluttony reached a hand out, as if to consume the Bowel Hunter, but as Louis said, "Solar Eclipse," something went wrong in her. The fat form was replaced by a muscular gladiator, Elsa was obliterated by Louis's palm, but she did not press forward, did not continue to try and eat Subaru.

Instead, as the scattered remains of Elsa's body began to reform, in the last few moments of Subaru's consciousness, Louis seemed to be arguing… with herself?

Blink.

"What are you doing ~tsu?!"

Blink.

"No! We can't eat Elsa! Mama would punish us!"

Blink.

"Oh… Roy is resisting? He can do that?" Subaru thought, as the conversation grew more and more distant with less and less blood running through his veins.

Blink.

"You idiot! We weren't going to—"

Blink.

"Get out! We want to eat! And you wasted a meal! Ley sho—"

Blin—

And with that, Natsuki Subaru lost his life, bleeding out under a tree, yet more confident than ever… this time, with a whole new sort of plan in mind.