Archive of Our Own ^beta

Dick was tired. His apartment was empty and cold, still missing anything personal. It still felt more like a safe house than his home. He was lonely, the feeling curling through his body and settling into the far reaches of his fingers and toes. 

The rest of the family was circling back to Gotham according to the updates from Damian. Jason and Bruce are working on their relationship. Apparently it took some master bribing and thinly veiled blackmail from Alfred but it was a start. 

Tim moved back into the manor pretty much the same day Bruce pushed Dick out of it. He tries not to think about it too much. It makes his chest feel cold and gravity a little bit heavier. 

Bruce waved him off without so much as a thank you. He pointed Dick at Bludheaven and haven him and kick out the door. Never mind that Dick dropped everything to come back to Gotham. He doesn't have a job to go back to. His apartment is logged as a safe house because he didn't have the time to move anything out but some personal effects. 

Dick pushed it all aside, ignoring how his body feels stiff as he pulls on the suit. The same way he ignored how his uniform has gone a little loose around his waist and shoulders and a hollow numbness howls in his stomach. 

He went for patrol instead, because he can't just come back to Bludhaven and be Dick Grayson, but he can be Nightwing. 

Bludhaven PD is still riddled with corruption, and Amy is doing her damnedest to clean it out. They are fighting her tooth and nail. She spent the last six months digging though questionable hiring. They would be on Dick in a heart beat for the same thing, pointing out the morality of hiring a former partner. They would question where he was and why he just so happened to be gone for the change of management. 

She had sent a knowing look at Dick over her cup of decaf. Her husband and kids had already gone up stairs after dinner. "I know you've been busy, Rookie," her smirk was shadowed by her drink. 

Dick didn't deny it, knowing it would be an insult at this point to do so, instead he nodded for her to elaborate. 

"Find a part time job, or pick up a hobby like knitting-"

"Did you know knitting needles-"

"Or go win jeopardy." She powered over his fun fact like they both knew she would, "But go live for a few months. At least until I get these shitheads onto something else and you have settled back into Bludhaven a little more."

“Swear jar,” Dick mumbled. 

He savored her laugh and the fond eye-roll made him smile.  He missed them both when he was stuck in Gotham. The gleeful feeling, no matter how short lived, was worth the echoing feeling it left in his chest all those days after. 

Dick kicked off from one building to the next. The night was on the slow side, a handful of muggings and the occasional attempted assault.  He kept going, falling from one building to the next; it doesn’t feel like flying anymore. 

A scream echoed from up the street, he followed the sound of yelling and familiar, muffled begging.  He dropped from above, placing himself between the two women and the group of men.  Dick smiled, playful and just as fake as the mask around his eyes. “Gentleman,” He called, the words felt like cotton in his mouth, “What’s going on here?”

No one spoke, not that Dick was looking for a specific answer. Mostly he was trying to draw attention, giving the girls the opportunity to escape. The shuffling sound at his back indicated they were already making a retreat. 

Dick’s gaze locked on the closest man. The one’s at the front were always the most confident, also the quickest to anger. His hair was light in the dim glow of the alley, and the knife in his hand was dull and dirty.  “Do I make you speechless? I know I have that effect on some people.”

The man spat at him, loogie landing on the blue bird across Dick's chest. “Private discussion,” He growled.  

Dick resisted a sigh,instead his smile turned predatory, curling sharper around the edges. “Lucky for you I'm great at keeping secrets. Therapist says it’s something I should work on, or at least I like to think they would say that if I ever saw one.” Dick pulled his escrima sticks, “Besides, it’s not like there is anyone else here.” He did a little side shuffle to show the empty alley behind him, and a small showman’s bow. 

They lunged  and Dick swung. The weight settled back into his bones shortly after the first swing. The adrenal rush was missing from his vains. Dick found himself moving a little slower. He started letting them get off easier hits.  The fist left a hot bruise on his chin. The knife didn’t even cut through the suit but still felt like fire under his skin. 

It was all superficial, until it wasn’t. One caught him in his bad knee with a pipe and he went down. Three of the five men who were still up were on him. He curled around his head and neck on habit but made no move to fight back. A boot made contact with his chest, knocking him to his back. 

The pipe connected with his head, turning the world dark for a few moments. His surroundings were a blur, Dick lost somewhere in the mix of numb disacossication and feeling guilty for being relieved that soon he could rest.

None of them noticed the new figure landing in the shadows. They made quick work of the men with sharp blades, leaving them to bleed out. 

Dick came back to himself on a roof, the feeling of light rain on his face, and whole body sore in a physical sense for the first time in a long time. He was propped up against a wall, a bandage pressed against a wound on his head. 

Lady Shiva was crouched next to him, mouth in a thin line. She was in full uniform, blades sheathed. 

“Wha’ hap’n?” he croaked, voice rough and tongue thick in his mouth. 

She stepped back, giving him room to breathe. She watched him, with the same look he used to get from Cassandra; Looking for answers that Dick didn’t want to share. 

“I will not question your reasoning, nor ask for a justification.” She said her face was mostly blank. If anything, Dick saw a brief hint of understanding. “But, know you deserve a more honorable death than at the hands of some common thug.”

“What?” Dick gasped. It was pulled out of him like a hit to the solar plexus. 

“You allowed those men to take you down, and if I had not intervened they would have killed you.” She stated, plain and simple. 

Dick curreld back on himself, any denial caught somewhere in the back of his mouth. “You followed me?” He said instead, questioning, not accusing. 

“It was the wrong place at the right time, not that it matters.” She shrugged.

Dick knew he should argue. Even so, she was in his city and he should find out why. But, he couldn't find the energy.  His head hurt and chest felt cold.  He wanted to stop breathing. 

She watched him, reading him like an open book. “You deserve better,” She said, ignoring how the words made him tense and brought a silent denial to his lips. “I offer you an alternative from my sword. And with it, I accept any repercussions that come from my actions."

A small part of him screams in the back of his head to stop, to put on a smile and deny everything. But he is so tired.  “No one will care.” Dick found himself saying. 

“You underestimate those who do.”

Dick snorted, the sound was wet with unshed tears. Shiva continued with only a brief look of disgust on her face. “You have been trained by the best in the world. Have defeated some of the fiercest warriors, and are respected by Myths and Legends.”

“Nightwing came from-”

“I was referring to Richard.”

Dick blinked up at her, shoulders curling towards himself. The man pulled himself into a defensive position. “I don’t know who that is.” he said after a second too long of silence. 

Lady Shiva raised an unimpressed eyebrow. 

Dick curled a little tighter, but dropped the act. “B has trained lots of people at this point, it’s not much of gloating point.” he shrugged weakly. 

“This is true, but I was referring to Wilson. As you are still the only former apprentice he considers as a worthy heir. You are one of the few to have beaten the Demon Head at his own discipline. Not even an honor held by his daughter.  You have saved the world, fought with and against Gods and Aliens alike.  My point Richard, as I said from the start, isn’t to ask for a justification or to change your mind. Your achievements earn you an end greater than at the hand of some nameless scum. I am giving you that option.”

Shiva stood, turning her back to Dick. She looked out on the city, giving the man the semblance of privacy. She allowed him a few moments to pull himself together, keeping one ear on his soft sniffling. Dick shuffled around, boots scraping against the gravel clawing his way up the air conditioner. She turned around again, just in time to see him push off on shaky legs before they locked into place. 

"A skill doesn't mean someone has honor." He said, his voice strong and face set. Dick was keeping himself up mostly out of sheer force of will and stubbornness. It might be able to trick some street scum and the fools who pranced around Gotham, but not her. He's lucky she finds it amusing and not insulting. 

She inclines her head in agreement, "Correct. Honor is giving up your chosen life for family.  Honor and skill is taking up the mantle you never wanted, and raising someone else's child.” 

Dick stumbled back as if punched, leaning back against the air conditioner - strings cut. 

“Skill without honor is running away on a wild goose chase when you're needed at home.”

Dick’s head snapped up, “That’s not fair-” He snarled,face flushing red. 

She continued, talking over his interruption, “Skill without honor is my daughter choosing to hide across the world, rather than face her responsibilities to her chosen family.”

“You have no idea-” He tried to argue.

“Don’t I?” They both froze at her words. "I saw more of them then you did." 

Something in her face must have caught him off guard. He studied her, and she let him look. He was slowly sliding down the slide of the air conditioner, back to the gravel ground of the roof. Shiva briefly wonders if he knows how easy it is to see the fight drain out of him again. 

“Why does this matter to you?" He asked, voice a rough whisper. 

Shiva cocked her head to the side in consideration. She hasn't lied to Richard yet, she saw no reason to start now. “Because your honor deserves to be rewarded. Because I, like many, have watched you grow into an adversary I would be proud to fight. I would feel no shame in losing if it came to it.” 

There was a scraping sound as Dick’s bad leg finally gave out from under him, the other just strong enough to help slow his descent. Dick held tight to his ribs on the descent. He sat there, one leg straight, the other bent tight to his body. His arms trapped around himself. His ribs were burning but heart felt like ice creating a black hole in his chest. 

“And if I say no?” he asked, gaze drifting to a point in the middle distance, “You just saved my life, that doesn’t come for free.”

“A favor,” She stated, turning her own attention to the surrounding roofs again.  “In the future, I will call upon you.” The silence stretched, Lady Shiva kept her gaze on the horizon. 

Dick’s mind drifted; it was hard to focus even before the concussion and he was so tired. He knew what the answer should be, felt the ‘N’ in the roof of his mouth and the curve of the ‘O’ in his lips. But he wanted it. 

Lady Shiva turned on her heel, face set in a new determination. “I do not require a decision now, my offer will always stand even after my favor is paid.” She walked over again, pausing for a moment just out of range to drop something, and crush it under her boot. She is crouching at his side when Dick realizes it was his com-link she just destroyed. She brushed the bangs out of his face with one hand, palming a small device into his left hand with the other.   “And if you wish for a different option entirely, I would always be willing to take you under my wing.”

Dick’s mind was slow to process, the gentle smile on her face, the soft touch and calm voice. She patted him once on the shoulder and stood just in time for Red Hood, Black Bat, and Bat Girl to land on the opposite end. 

“Get the fuck away from him before I put a bullet through your brain, you bitch,” Jason yelled. His voice had a sharp edge they all associate with pit rage. Cass was at his side, coiled tight and deadly, blades in her hands.  Stephanie was watching Dick, a look on her face he couldn’t understand.

Dick blinked at them, frowning in confusion. He wonders if he is imagining them, hallucinating his family as his mind's last ditch effort for self preservation. He sinks deeper into his own head, losing time as the two groups negotiate their way across the roof; Lady Shiva towards the far edge while the Gotham vigilantes closer. He misses closing remarks and Lady Shiva’s final words.  

Dick jerks back when cold hands touch his face. His head cracks against the air conditioner, ears ringing.  Stephanie and Jason were crouched on either side, Cass hovering over their shoulders. Jason had taken off the helmet, and if Dick didn’t know better he would say he looked concerned. 

“Where’va go?” he slurred, trying to look past the others. He sluggishly pushed away Stephinie’s hands.  Her fingers must have been growing cold when out of the gloves as they were shaking ever so slightly.  She kept trying to poke at the injuries on his face. 

Jason placed a large, warm hand on his shoulder, “Don’t worry about it Dickie.”  From behind him Cass signed the word for safe, while keeping an eye on their surroundings. “She’s gone now.” 

Dick felt like he took a freight train to the chest. A fast chant of no, echoed through his head. He couldn’t breathe. He struggled against the hands. Blocked the soft cooing until it was white noise.  His chance, his chance was gone.  Something snaked around his chest, curling tight. He was so tired. He wanted to say yes. He needed Lady Shiva back because his answer was yes. 

A pinch to the neck and Dick slumped to the side, the world going dark. 

Jason held Dick to his chest, the tight clench on his older brother the only thing hiding his shaking. Cass stood over them, arm still raised from when she knocked out Dick with a well placed nerve pinch. Stephine was on her butt to the side, having fallen back during the shuffle, her face hidden with her hands. Tears were in her eyes. 

The emergency single fell from Dick’s limp hand, falling to the group with a small thud. It continued to flash.