Chapter Text
Rebecca has not been in love for a very, very long time (in fact, she doesn’t even think she was ever really in love with her ex-husband), yet there is little doubt in her mind that something shifted between her and Ted after the gala.
Maybe it’s just her lovesick brain playing tricks on her, or maybe it’s the excitement as the team continues to win and get closer to promotion. Could it really possible that she’s just seeing things between them, that just projecting her own feelings on him? There's just something different about the way Ted lights up, just a little brighter, now every time he sees her - she's certain of it. Sure, he had always looked thrilled to see her each morning when he stepped into her office to hand her a little pink box, but now, after the gala, it almost feels electric.
Is this the lightning Roy was talking about?
Still, ever the realist, she sometimes convinces herself that she’s reading too much into things between them, simply because of how intensely she feels for him. The things that she thinks he's doing special for her, he probably does for anyone else, right? Like the way he holds the door open for her (he absolutely does that for anyone), or how he pulls out her chair when they grab lunch (same thing, she’s certain he’s done that for Keeley before), or when he seems prepared to drop everything when she asks him for a favor (well, maybe he doesn’t do that with anyone, but he often does that for his friends), or when he brings her little gifts on a regular basis (he buys gifts for friends all the time... right?), or the soft smile she catches on his face when she’s talking about something that makes her happy (she doesn't think she's noticed him do this with other people...), or how one time, while they were celebrating with the team at Crown & Anchor after another win, he tucked a lock hair behind her ear and they held eye contact for so long that she felt like the entire world had melted away around them (okay that moment she’s certain was specifically for her).
It’s moments like that, those tangible moments, that she knows cannot possibly be just her imagination playing tricks on her. For example, there's the fact that they’re starting to spend nearly every evening together that doesn’t require them to be out on the pitch, and even then they are usually in close proximity to each other at the pub after each match. The only correct way to describe them now is one word - inseparable. Even the rest of A.F.C. Richmond is starting to become hip to that fact. They’re now regularly referred to as a duo throughout the club – people ask questions like “What do Ted & Rebecca think?” and “Has anyone seen Ted & Rebecca?” and “Do you think Ted & Rebecca are finally dating?”
(Rebecca’s only made aware of that last one because Sam tells her that Colin won’t stop asking him this, and Sam says that if Colin asks him one more time, he may have to quit the team. She's only half sure Sam's joking.)
For another thing, another reason she’s certain this isn’t all just her imagination running wild, she and Ted can’t seem to stop touching each other. Rebecca feels like she's been lit on fire every time they do, and so now she's become hyper aware of when it starts happening more often. They sit closer together on the couch during movie nights, or when he invites her to join in on a FaceTime call with Henry. When she continues to take him around to tourist spots throughout London, he insists on holding her hand to pull her along in excitement to each sight to be seen. When they travel to away matches, she joins the team on the bus and sits next to him, and more often than not, finds herself falling asleep with her head on his shoulder. When they move through the crowded pub after each Richmond win, his hand always seems to find the small of her back.
The “It’s just Ted being Ted” argument doesn’t hold water when she tries to imagine Ted putting his hand on the small of Roy’s back (though it’s definitely a fun thing to imagine).
Fed up with the glacial speed they're moving at, Keeley storms into Rebecca’s office without warning just days before the final match that will determine whether Richmond is promoted,.
“Have you two done the deed yet or not?!”
Rebecca’s eyes widen as she fumbles to turn off the speakerphone, which Keeley had failed to notice.
“Hi Geoff, so sorry, yes, let’s finish this conversation tomorrow,” she stammers quickly to one of their key investors, as she hangs up and gives Keeley a long glare.
“Whoops, sorry babe," Keeley quickly apologies, but then corrects her posture emphasize her point. "But I stand by what I said!”
Rebecca puts her head in her hands. “I don’t know what you want me to do here, Keeley,”
“Make a move already!” Keeley practically shouts.
Rebecca makes a frustrated noise. “I feel like I already have."
"I don't think one kiss on the cheek while you're both tipsy constitutes a 'move.' Plus, you know how dense men can be about this stuff."
"Okay, I see your point. But Ted’s such a gentleman, I imagine he’d be the one who would want to make the first move, right? If that’s even what’s happening here,” Rebecca adds that little caveat at the end quickly to remind Keeley that things are still in flux here.
“Ugh, both of you are huge idiots! If you two don’t figure your shit out soon, I’m going to make a move for you!”
With that declaration, Rebecca is left feeling a bit on edge for the next couple of days, afraid that the other shoe is going to drop at any moment. She’s sure Keeley won’t actually make an obvious move, but what if Keeley throws a hint Ted’s way, and Ted had never really felt anything like that for her anyways, and suddenly everything she’s been building comes crashing down around her. And if Keeley's to one to make the move on Rebecca's behalf, and the move is a mistake, Rebecca won't be able to do proper damage control.
If there's one thing Rebecca doesn't like, it's when things are out of her control.
On the day of the final match, she and Ted are both so anxious about the game (and she is also anxious about how she feels about Ted, and what she thinks Ted might feel about her), that Biscuits with the Boss feels awkward at first. They both have so much pent up energy – Rebecca can’t stop clicking her pen, and Ted has been pacing in front of her desk. After several minutes of them both being quietly restless, they each seem to notice what they’re doing at the exact same time, and burst into laughter at the ridiculousness of it all.
“It’s going to be fine, Ted, “ she says with a smirk. “Just go out there and win the fucking thing.”
And win the fucking thing they definitely do. It’s not the whole fucking thing just yet, like Ted promised, but the time for that will come next year. It’s still a pretty fucking important thing too – Richmond is officially back in the Premier League, and the crowd in the stands is going wild, it feels as if the entire neighborhood is shaking. Rebecca and Keeley run down to meet the team in the locker room, and there are hugs all around. When Ted finds Rebecca, he’s hugging her and lifting her up in the air, and she wishes she could stay in this moment forever.
The Greyhounds make a quick appearance at the Crown & Anchor as a show of support to the regulars, but they’re all way too rowdy for the pub, and there’s way too many fans trying to storm the place as the team walks up. Keeley, always quick on her feet, makes the decision to corral the team and staff, and points them in the direction of a nearby nightclub. Rebecca stays close to Ted’s side as the group noisily makes their way to the next venue. Despite the weather warming up with the change in season, it’s a chilly night, and Rebecca, wearing only a dress and having left her jacket back at her office somewhere in all the excitement from the win, is drawn to Ted’s warmth. He seems to notice straight away, and throws his arm around her, rubbing her arm to try to warm her up.
Once inside the club, the team starts to spread out into their own little groups, and Ted and Rebecca stay attached at the hip. They’re still in Richmond territory, so most of the team’s drinks are on the house, and some are on excited patrons as a thank you for the promotion. Ted takes his time with one or two drinks, but Rebecca happily accepts a few more that come her way, wrapped up in the excitement (and still trying to get ahold of her overwhelming emotions about the Ted situation). She also knows that she’s probably safe to get a bit plastered tonight while Ted is at her side; he won’t let things get out of control.
She’s lost track of where Keeley and Roy had gone (and she doesn’t want to think much of their whereabouts), but she’s happily distracted by Ted’s hands, which are currently wrapped around her wait, resting on her stomach. His head resting atop her shoulder as they sway to whatever song the DJ is playing (Rebecca can't focus enough at the moment to actually hear it). She’s can't stop thinking about how bloody perfect this night is turning out to be. Ted makes some offhand comment in her ear, pointing out the surprise of the night that Colin is very clearly making out with Isaac in the back of the club, and when he laughs with her, she feels like the butterflies in her stomach are about to escape.
When their laughter dies down and he spins her around face him, she finds it hard to breathe. This is it, right? She asks herself, when he pulls her closer to him as they dance. Is this finally happening!?
But…
Nothing happens.
The night starts to become a bit of a blur at some point, but she does know that they never kiss. She's aware that they're suddenly in a cab, and then suddenly they're her place, and he's walking her up to the door, but he doesn’t stick around – just reminds her to drink lots of water and get some sleep.
In her drunken state, tears of disappointment prickle her eyes as she starts to fall asleep, but she doesn’t fully cry as she practically passes out.
She wakes up the next morning with a splitting headache, and feeling a bit aimless. She doesn’t have anywhere to be, so she takes a long shower, orders a greasy breakfast delivered to her as a hangover cure, and tries not to dwell too much on the night before.
While she had been upset last night in the moment, she’s a little grateful that nothing had happened. Even though she had really, really wanted to at the time, she’s glad they hadn’t gotten swept up in the excitement of the everything to act on their feelings. She fears that, if they had, that maybe they would have woken up this morning, and found that it had all been a mistake. Drunk decisions are usually not the right ones. She wonders if that's why Ted became more closed off to her later into the night.
Maybe you just need to realize that he’s not that into you, already! Her small, cruel inner voice is back. But her newer, must louder inner voice (that sounds suspiciously like Keeley), speaks over it: Maybe he’s just gentleman enough to know not to try anything with a woman when she’s sloshed!
She decides for her own peace of mind, that she’s going to stick with the latter thought.
It’s still relatively early in the day, and she’s feeling her hangover fade, when she realizes that the season is actually done for a while, and that they’re on hiatus now. Hiatus means a much needed break for all of them. Hiatus will mean a little bit of work to do on the administrative end, especially now that they’ve been promoted, but nothing she, Leslie, and Keeley can’t handle.
Hiatus also means that Ted will be heading back to the States to visit his son for a few weeks.
The realization that she only has a couple days left to spend time with Ted before he’s going to be across the world from her hits her like a freight train, and suddenly she needs to make sure she sees him at least one more time before he's out of reach.
She grabs her phone and sends him a text.
Did you survive the night? she sends, playfully.
His response is almost immediate: Sure did. Surprised you’re awake this early. Was just about to check on you.
She can’t help the grin that forms on her face. Feeling bold, she types out the next message, sits with it for a moment, and then sends before she can take it back.
Want to grab dinner tonight? She doesn’t know why this feels different; they get dinner all the time...
Absolutely, I do. Have something in mind?
Was hoping you did… she replies, trying to pass him the baton, and his reply is almost instant.
How do you feel about Indian food?
Hours later, they’re out to dinner at the Indian restaurant he’s a big fan of, which was a surprise to her, and she tells him so. Ted looks thrilled to have the opportunity to tell her the story of Ollie, and the story of the first time he ate there with Trent Crimm, The Independent (“I believe that was the interview you set up to try to sabotage me” he says as he takes a sip from his drink with a wink, and she buries her face in her hands in playful embarrassment).
They hang around the restaurant for a bit after they finish their meal, and Rebecca asks him about his upcoming travel plans. He seems excited as he tells her about the different things he has planned for Henry, he just hopes he’ll have enough time to get through the entire list. They stay until the sun sets, and it’s clearly time for the restaurant to close up. She gets the check, despite his honest protests that because he suggested the place, he should pay.
“I’m going to miss eating there for the next few weeks,” he says as they walk down the street. They’re not really going in a certain direction at this point, and Rebecca doesn’t mind - she wants to spend as much time with him before he leaves.
“I’m going to miss you,” she blurts out, and he smiles fondly at the admission.
“Aww, boss, it’s only gonna be a few weeks,” he says, to try to ease her woes, "you'll survive without me." Rebecca doesn't think she will. She makes a bit of a face at him, as if she’s waiting for him to say something, and then it clicks for him. “Oh and I’m gonna miss you too, duh!” he says and he bumps her shoulder playfully.
Suddenly, she feels raindrops hit her face, and it looks as if the sky is about to open up. Ted, who had the foresight to grab an umbrella, and looking a little smug that he had come prepared, opens the umbrella and pulls her closer to him so that she’s fully under it. She notices that he starts to lead her towards her townhouse, probably because it’s nearest to where they are and so they don’t get incredibly soaked.
He’s telling her about another thing he wants to do with Henry when he gets back to the States, when he phone chimes and interrupts them.
“It can’t possibly be time to check into your flight already, right?” Rebecca asks, hoping he hasn’t picked up on the disappointment in her voice as she realizes that their time together is becoming shorter and shorter.
“No, uh,” Ted stops walking, and to stay under the umbrella, Rebecca stops too. “Katie texted me.”
The world seems to come to a grinding halt.
Rebecca, suddenly feeling like she can’t breathe, chokes out “What does she want?”
Ted’s silent as he reads the text, and silent in thought a moment more.
“She says she misses me. She says she wants to give us another shot if there’s any chance I’m still interested.”
Rebecca didn’t know this was her worst nightmare until this moment, but that she's presented with it, should couldn't possibly think of anything more terrible. Her brain feels fuzzy, like she’s losing her grip on reality. There are so many thoughts and feelings rushing through her that she almost doesn’t hear him speak.
“What should I do?”
Rebecca can’t bear to look at him in this moment. She’s in full panic mode now, but she knows she needs to say something, something to protect herself and her feelings. She failed to do it before with Rupert – had let that go too far for too long, and she can’t open herself up to that pain all over again. She closes her eyes just for a moment and braces herself for what she’s about to say.
“She made you happy right?”
“Sure,” she hears him say. She still can’t look at him.
“And do you think, despite how things ended, there’s a chance she could still make you happy?”
He doesn’t say anything long enough that she almost gives in and looks over at him, but he speaks up before she can. “Maybe. I’m not really sure,” he says, and she believes him.
Rebecca takes a deep breath, and says “Then if you think there’s a chance you could be happy with her, then maybe you should go for it.” She finally brings herself to look at him, and he’s looking back at her something on his face that she can’t read – this isn’t the first time she’s seen this look on his face before, but she still doesn’t know how to interpret it.
Finally he speaks, “Okay, I-I trust your judgment, and if you think that’s a good idea, maybe I will...” Rebecca doesn’t say anything in response, exerting all of her energy on trying to hold herself together. “I’m not sure how this is going to work when I’m going to be out of the country for nearly a month though,” he says, and they start walking again, only a couple blocks away from Rebecca’s townhouse now.
“Love finds a way, right?” she squeaks out, trying to play it off as light hearted. She’s back to avoiding looking at him as they walk, and she wonders if Ted can tell that she’s about to fall apart. Everyone else can read her like an open book when it comes Ted, and she wonders why he never seems to be able to.
He doesn’t say anything, and suddenly they’re at her door. The rain coming down a bit harder now than it was for most of their walk, and things feel sad and uncomfortable now between them, and she wishes she could go back in time and stop Katie from sending that text, or stop herself from suggesting that he get back with her.
“So, I guess this is it for a while, huh?” Ted asks, voice raised over the sound of the rain pounding on his umbrella.
“I guess so,” she replies, fully on the verge of tears now. She pulls him into a hug quickly, mostly because she needs to and partly because she doesn't want him to see her cry. They stay like that for a while, both savoring their last moments together.
“Thanks for dinner, and for the advice” he mutters softly in her ear, and suddenly he kisses her on the cheek. Rebecca wishes she were back outside the gala with him, when everything was sweet and warm and full of potential. This kiss, while still sweet because it’s from Ted, feels impossibly sad. She pulls away from him, still avoiding any eye contact, and somehow manages to whisper a “goodbye.” She turns away from him to unlock the door and step inside. He waits for her to cross the threshold, safe from the rain, and then she watches as he walks away without turning to look back at her.
She stares after him for a while, and starts to cry a little as the voices in her head are so loud now that she can barely distinguish what they’re saying. It isn’t until the voice from earlier, the same voice that sounded suspiciously like Keeley, practically yells GO AFTER HIM YOU IDIOT! that Rebecca finally decides to move.
“Ted, wait!” she yells, but he’s already pretty far down the street and there’s no way he could’ve possibly heard her over the rain. She manages to pull her door closed, kicks her shoes off, and begins running towards him, getting soaked by the second.
Now this is a fucking cliché, Keeley, she thinks very briefly, as her bare feet hit the wet pavement as she sprints down the block.
“Ted, wait!” she yells again, and this time he must hear her, because he turns around and stops dead in his tracks.
“Rebecca!” he yells back in alarm, at the state of her. Once she’s close enough to him, he quickly pulls her under the umbrella with him, the gesture is futile because she’s past the point of soaking wet now. “What going on, what’s wrong? Oh, don't cry,” he says, concerned, and she realizes that she’s openly weeping in front of him.
“Don’t do it,” she practically begs. “Katie doesn’t deserve you. And- and I’m not trying to say that I’m the one who does, because I know I don’t but that’s not the point-“
“Rebecca,” he starts but she cuts him off
“No - please - wait - just, just let me just say what I mean to say. I’m sorry,” she tries to catch her breath for a moment, and he lets her. “What I’m trying, and very obviously failing to say, is that you deserves someone who loves you for every single thing that you are Ted. Not someone who is only going to love pieces of you, and get tired of what makes you great. You’ve already gone though that once and it’s not fair to you. And Katie already showed that she’s not capable of loving all of you, of loving the best part of you, and I-“ she stops herself again because she Ted is just staring at her with another odd expression on his face. Rebecca feels herself start to panic again, he must think she’s insane for all of… whatever this is, and she probably is.
“Rebecca." He shakes his head ever so slightly. "I wasn’t going to call her.”
“What?” she asks, wondering if the rainwater has clogged her ears or something.
“I mean, I thought about it for a moment, especially when you literally just told me I should. Cause when you said that I thought that maybe I had… misinterpreted things…and that this was you letting me down easy,” he says, looking down at his feet.
“Wait,” Rebecca says, and he looks back up and her. She searches his face for an answer, because her brain isn’t making the connection here that it needs to. “What are you saying?”
“Becca,” he cups her cheek and wipes a tear away, the action almost pointless with how she's still dripping with rainwater. “I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you, not the other way around.”
She laughs in disbelief. “What are you talking about? Have you forgotten the entire reason you’re even in London.”
“Because you brought me here!” he says with exasperation that they’re having this argument again.
“Under false pretenses! I was literally trying to destroy your reputation, Ted, when I didn't even know you then. How could you possibly think you don’t deserve me?”
“Jesus, Rebecca, I’ve already forgiven you for that, will you please just forgive yourself already?” it’s the most frustrated he's ever been with her, frustration that she’s continues to so hard on herself, despite his forgiveness, despite their friendship. It’s the same look Keeley gives her when she falls back on this, because being hard on herself has always been the easiest thing to do. It’s in this moment that she realizes that she needs to stop doing it so much because it’s hurting her friends, and it’s hurting Ted, which in turn is hurting herself, and now it’s almost ruining this perfect moment.
“Fine,” she admits, “I forgive myself. I should’ve a long time ago and I’m sorry about that. But how could you possibly think that you don’t deserve me?” Ted looks back at her like the answer is plainly obvious.
“You’re Rebecca fucking Welton,” he says, almost breathlessly, as if he’s in awe of her, as if he can't believe she's actually real. He's looked at her like this so many times, she feels like an idiot for not noticing it before. “You can do so much better than me.”
She’s shaking her head and moving in closer to him. “It’s impossible to do better than you, Ted Lasso.”
And finally, he’s kissing her, and she realizes that this is what Roy meant by lightning.