Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

[💬] Hi welcome to wendys - 7:12 

[ONE]: i'm so tired

pristine-bean!!: aww, im sorry to hear that :(

nyaaah: bruh who even needs sleep nowadays (っ^▿^)💨

akuno-akuma: clearly not you

XinHua_pan: I'm prolly functioning off two hours right now haha

fuk.ass.69: sleep is irrelevant anyways

pikkun-utatune: as is most stuff in life nowadays

pikkun-utatune: i just sleep through most everything most of the time

[ONE]: jesus christ all i wanted to do was tell you guys how my sister was fucking her gf last night

[ONE]: i did not need to be reminded about how irrelevant life is

FL(OW)ER: but its true

akuno-akuma: wait-

akuno-akuma: your sister?? was fucking someone??

akuno-akuma: are you talking about ia???

Kagayours: tea time ☕

fuk.ass.69: wait

fuk.ass.69: wait wait wait wa i t

fuk.ass.69: isn't your sister fucking ia??? the queen of pianos??????

Kokoro<3: That implies ia fucks herself fukase

fuk.ass.69: incest is wincest

fuk.ass.69: oop i meant selfcest

fuk.ass.69: idk about u guys but id totally fuck myself that's how much i like myself </3

Kagayours: violently throws up HWAT

FL(OW)ER: fukase what the actual fuck

[ONE]: and you guys- 

[ONE]: and you guys wonder why i don't associate myself with you

[ONE]: gods above i shouldn't have even mentioned being tired

pristine-bean!!: ones going through all five stages of grief at once lol

fuk.ass.69: sleep is meaningless anyways.

fuk.ass.69: we don't need anyone who actually sleeps in our gang

pristine-bean!!: you have a gang??? :0

pikkun-utatune: no

fuk.ass.69: soon

FL(OW)ER: the silence is killing me lmao

Kagayours: i can feel piko buffering lol

pikkun-utatune: fuka, how do you sleep at night?

[ONE]: change of subject; smart

Kagayours: he prolly sleeps with a gun under his pillow

fuk.ass.69: indeed. self defense is needed everywhere 

pristine-bean!!: yeah!!

FL(OW)ER: i think piko means positions

FL(OW)ER: like- starfish or stick pole

Kagayours: the first thing i thought of when i saw stick pole was stick up your ass

zhiYEET: valid tbh

nyaaah: as if

nyaaah: you could never be valid ( ︶︿︶)_╭∩╮

Kagayours: i was confused for a second but then i started laughing so hard i think im hyperventalatngig hjdlp—

fuk.ass.69: ignoring len’s supposed death, i will answer your question about how i sleep

akuno-akuma: alone

fuk.ass.69: matcha can you kick her out

pristine-bean!!: matcha said no lmao

fuk.ass.69: ugh 

fuk.ass.69: anyways.

fuk.ass.69: i sleep on my stomach. organs protected

Kokoro<3: I once read somewhere that sleeping on your stomach is bad for your health…,

fuk.ass.69: do i really look like the kind of person who gives a shit about helth

FL(OW)ER: given that you were set on fire in first grade i take it that you aren’t. 

fuk.ass.69: 

fuk.ass.69: i did not need to relive that trauma today

pikkun-utatune: he has ptsd

nyaaah: Σ(◉ ⌓ ◉) like std????

[ONE]: what the fuck

akuno-akuma: more like aid

nyaaah: Σ(’°△°` lll) like- like lemonaid???

pikkun-utatune: it’s spelled with “ade” iroha

nyaaah: what

zhiYEET: laughing so hard i cry

XinHua_pan: complete unrelated but i need to share something

XinHua_pan: my dog. is the warmest thing in the entire fucking world. she’s so hot- just like a hot watter bottle. i have an ice cold hand on her and you can feel the coldness evaporating as it rests atop her furry mound

Kokoro<3: I-

Kokoro<3: “furry mound”????

zhiYEET: laughing so hard i cry take 2

pristine-bean!!: same honestly lmaoo

pristine-bean!!: but matcha wants to know, and i quote, 

pristine-bean!!: “why the hell did hua spell water with two t’s”

XinHua_pan: huh

XinHua_pan: SHDHDJJFKJJ I DID

fuk.ass.69: disgusting keyboard smash. allow me to show you the real way to smash a keyboard 

fuk.ass.69: *pulls out a hammar*

akuno-akuma: *hammer 

fuk.ass.69: SHUT THE  FUCK UP YOU LURKR

akuno-akuma: No

FL(OW)ER: hahahaha imagine getting typo-checked by a antique collector

pikkun-utatune: couldn’t be me

pristine-bean!!: anyways, matcha said you should all get to class!! it starts in ten!!

fuk.ass.69: like i’d give a shit

XinHua_pan: OH SHIT

XinHua_pan: I SLEPT TO LATE I THOJGHT IT WAS ASATURDY

nyaaah: just channel your inner sonic as you sprint to school ε=ε=┌(;￣◇￣)┘

XinHua_pan: OK SEE YUO GUYSA T SCHOOPL

[➡️]  XinHua_pan is offline

FL(OW)ER: a quick moment of silence for my (dumbass) cousin

nyaaah: f (´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`)

pristine-bean!!: f!!

fuk.ass.69: f

pikkun-utatune: f

Kokoro<3: f

zhiYEET: f

zhiYEET: anyways

zhiYEET: i have an iq of fucking 200 

zhiYEET: can someone tell me why i need to graduate high school

FL(OW)ER: so you can go to some low wage, sus job and flex a high school diploma. imagine how superior it would make you feel

akuno-akuma: i can see him doing that actually

[ONE]: yeah

[ONE]: but anyways 

[ONE]: get to class before matcha mutes the chat

[➡️] Kagayours, nyaaah, pristine-bean!!, Kokoro<3 and FL(OW)ER are offline.

fuk.ass.69: some offline bean girl doesn’t scare me

zhiYEET: nah matcha is tea leaves def

fuk.ass.69: i was referring to her messager 

akuno-akuma: *messenger

fuk.ass.69: aka her second body

fuk.ass.69: aka azuki

fuk.ass.69: aka secretly cul in disguise to monitor my every move

fuk.ass.69: aka secretly akkio in disguse as cul in disguise to monitor my every move

zhiYEET: this is u rn

zhiYEET:

fuk.ass.69: yeah tbh

fuk.ass.69: i can see that lmao

pikkun-utatune: we should really get to class fukase

pikkun-utatune: where the hell even are you

fuk.ass.69: like i’d tell you

akuno-akuma: under the stairs near the cafeteria

fuk.ass.69: BITCH

pikkun-utatune: thanks mayu

akuno-akuma: anything to make him suffer 

fuk.ass.69: WHAT DID I EVEN DO TO YOU??

akuno-akuma: breathe. exist. perish from this plane of existence.

[➡️] akuno-akuma is offline

fuk.ass.69: ?? is she trying to scare me by coming for my dick irl

zhiYEET: maybe

[✅] Matcha is online

zhiYEET: OH SHIT

zhiYEET: u on ur own babe, im not messing with this bitch 

[➡️] zhiYEET is offline

Matcha: Fukase get to class

fuk.ass.69: you’ll have to catch me first

Matcha: Fukase i will mute you

fuk.ass.69: a couple hours don’t bother me

Matcha: For 24 hours

fuk.ass.69:

fuk.ass.69: still dont scare me

Matcha: long sigh

[‼️] Matcha has muted fuk.ass.69 for 24 hours

[ONE]: change his username too

[⚙️] Matcha has changed “fuk.ass.69”’s nickname to “Fukase”

[ONE]: perfect

[ONE]: and don’t worry i’m already in class

Matcha: Never had any doubt that you weren’t 

Matcha: See you after school in kendo

[ONE]: yup

[➡️ ] [ONE] and Matcha are offline

[💬] Hi welcome to wendys - 8:31

Chapter Text

[💬] Hi welcome to wendys - 15:04

nyaaah: wha?!

nyaaah: fukase!! your username was changed!  Σ(ﾟ□ﾟ/ )/

nyaaah: oh wait he's not online

nyaaah: gasp literally no one is online ( ´ﾟДﾟ｀)!!

akuno-akuma: i'm hurt, do i really count as no one?

nyaaah: yeah you only interact with us when you make fun of fukase (･_･ ' )

nyaaah: ngl that doesn't really make you count as someone lol

zhiYEET: fr fr iroha be speaking the truth

akuno-akuma: why are you supporting her? didn't she flip you off this morning while stealing your cinnamon roll

nyaaah: it was delicious if it makes you feel any better ～(*・ω・)⊃-匚]

zhiYEET: it does not

zhiYEET: and i'm supporting her because she is speaking the truth

zhiYEET: you're literally always set as 'dni'

akuno-akuma: so? what are you gonna do about it

nyaaah: hahaha he's not responding because he knows there's nothing he can do about it

akuno-akuma: well. sucks to be him

[✅] Kokoro<3 is online

nyaaah: !!!! koko!! (≧▽≦)

Kokoro<3: Helop

nyaaah: Σ(’°△°` lll)

nyaaah: kokoro!!!! what do you need help with?? i will assist u

Kokoro<3: Dose anypne have the anwser to question 2a. on page 34 of the packet

Kokoro<3: I pyhsically cannot figure out thesnwer

nyaaah: dw!!!! i have answr

nyaah: wait ↀᴥↀ

nyaah: what math are you in?

Kokoro<3: Um

Kokoro<3: Advanced calculus. Miss kobayashi is teaching it

zhiYEET: ngl I always forget matcha's grandma is a teacher here

nyaaah: o h

nyaaah: correction; i do not have the answer

Kokoro<3: .

nyaaah: apologies, my lord

akuno-akuma: i can ping you when matcha's online

akuno-akuma: i'm only in advanced trig

Kokoro<3: Thanks,

Kokoro<3: I'm just gonna walk to the park....... 

nyaaah: 

nyaaah: sending a virtual hug ur way girl

Kokoro<3: <3

nyaaah: <3<3

[➡️] Kokoro<3 is offline

akuno-akuma: anyways

akuno-akuma: did hua ever get to school on time

zhiYEET: yeah lmao she caught a taxi somehow

zhiYEET: and then she scaled the fence

nyaaah: WHAT  Σ(ﾟ□ﾟ  )

nyaaah: i need a video of that

nyaaah: she's literally always so cordial and polite its so hard to envision her scaling a fucking fense

akuno-akuma: why the fuck did you spell fence with an S

nyaaah: why NOT that's the real question

akuno-akuma: every day. everyday i wonder how i have managed to retain my braincells

nyaaah: you must just have a super good regenerative brain bc i,m pretty sure fukase steals your braincells to sell on the dark web

akuno-akuma: wh

nyaaah: yea brain cwlls get a lot of cash on the dark web

nyaaah: i got a couple of len's once and we got to split the earnings.

zhiYEET: OMG i can totally see bae doing that

nyaaah: wait i thought fukase was datinging piko

akuno-akuma: wait fukase is dating piko

nyaaah: i think????? lowkey looked like it once upon a time

zhiYEET: fukase is just using me to get piko to fall in love with him out of jealously or smth

zhiYEET: i think he read too much drama romance light novels when he was in middle school

akuno-akuma: why are yiu so calm about this

zhiYEET: shrug

nyaaah: true love

nyaaah: but i wouldnt know 

nyaaah: i wouldnt know true love even if it came in the form of a truck-kun murdering me

akuno-akuma: such is the struggle of aros

nyaaah: iconic rin hoshizora nya 

nyaaah: Nyyyaaa~! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

zhiYEET: :0 didn't know you identified that way

nyaaah: ohh righhtt you weren't here when all of us had the collective gay panic moment

nyaaah: yknow. except for fukase. he knew he was gay way before any of us

akuno-akuma: he even had the nerve to fuck around with it

akuno-akuma: i'm trying to discover whether im bi or a lesbian you don't need to brag about how you knew you were gay this entire time

akuno-akuma: fucker

zhiYEET: so what does everyone else identify as?? im curious

nyaaah: azuki, kokone and mayu are lesbeans!! kokone is polyamorous too. love knows no limits <3

nyaaah: matcha and len are either straight or bi. matcha is a solid idk but len's prolly bi

nyaaah: flower and hua are both pan!!!! flower is enby too (she/they or they/them)

nyaaah: fukase is gay, piko is still figuring out if he's bi or gay i think, haven't gotten much of an update on him

nyaaah: and I!!! nekomura ironyan!!! am aromantic.

zhiYEET: you know what? they're fitting now that they were pointed out

akuno-akuma: you're gay, right?

zhiYEET: yes. have you seen me? i grew up surrounded by lesbian women 

zhiYEET: they influenced me in a good way

nyaaah: i'm happy for u

zhiYEET: thanks :)

akuno-akuma: so anyways, does anyone have any idea why the fire department is racing towards the school

akuno-akuma: oh, never mind, the chemistry lab is on fire again

nyaaah: oh

nyaaah: OH

nyaaah: MY CHILD RANA IS IN THERE

nyaaah: BRB CATHCING AMUBER TO GET TP HER!!!! HAV EA GOPPD DAY!

[➡️] nyaaah is offline

zhiYEET: who is rana

akuno-akuma: some freshmen attracted to fire

akuno-akuma: wait

akuno-akuma: that didnt sound right

zhiYEET: fuck yeah it didnt

zhiYEET: does she fuck the flames or something

akuno-akuma: stfu you're almost as bad as fukase

zhiYEET: there's a reason we're (fake) dating honey

zhiYEET: similar minds attract :)

akuno-akuma: Ew

[✅] Matcha, [ONE] and XinHua_pan are online

zhiYEET: oop!! seems like clubs are out. how was kendo?

[ONE]: if you're asking if i beat matcha's ass again, i did

[ONE]: why do you even ask? its given at this point. matcha is a leaf

XinHua_pan: FUIHEIUFNSOKJMJHRGYRHFUJ???????

Matcha: Ignoring how I am apparently a leaf,

Matcha: I just saw Iroha riding an uber towards the school, which is on fire. Can one of you explain?

akuno-akuma: rana setting the chem lab on fire again is the most likely scenario

akuno-akuma: oh, @Kokoro<3 needed help in advanced calclus earlier 

Matcha: Oh, ok.

Matcha: I'll contact her later. I'd be glad to help her, out given she has both common sense and cares about school.

zhiYEET: imagine caring about school lmao

zhiYEET: couldn't be me 

Matcha: Care about school in the educational sense or care about the actual building

zhiYEET: either or, given that the school is currently aflame

Matcha: An acceptable answer.

Matcha: wait

Matcha: Iroha's going after Rana, isn't she?

akuno-akuma: scroll up for context

[ONE]: If she dies I'm showing up to her funeral and telling her how fucking stupid she is

XinHua_pan: She won't die have a little faith in her!

XinHua_pan: I still have to tell her how i scaled the school's fence this morning too, so she has motive to Not Burn Alive

[ONE]: you did what

Matcha: What even is this chat anymore

zhiYEET: idk but i'm lovin' it

XinHua_pan: ba da ba ba baa

[💬] Hi welcome to wendys - 17:56

Chapter Text

[💬] Hi welcome to wendys - 18:03

Matcha: So since the damage from the fire burnt through a lot of the roof, the school's gonna be closed for a while for repairs.

Matcha: So we have a weekend for a while. How long? I don't know

zhiYEET: matcha how are you always so dependable regarding school and updates about school

akuno-akuma: how dare you doubt her abilities as the class representative.

XinHua_pan: LMAO anyways why was iroha riding an uber towards the school???

[ONE]: why don't you scroll up to find our yourself?

XinHua_pan: Do i really strike you as the kind of person who'd spend effort on that

XinHua_pan: My effort is reserved for art only

zhiYEET: that must explain why you're failing literally all other classes

XinHua_pan: FUCK YOU IM NOT FIALING ALL OF THEM

akuno-akuma: fialing

XinHua_pan: I have an A in art, Cs in science, language and math and a D in pe!!!! and a F in history

[ONE]: how are you getting an d in pe

XinHua_pan: I keep skipping class to hang out in the art room lol

XinHua_pan: It keeps me in tact to, so im not complaining

zhiYEET: In tact????????

XinHua_pan: yeah i super suck at gym and almost die every time i step foot into that class

zhiYEET: how

XinHua_pan: Flower can explain idc anymore lol

[✅] FL(OW)ER, pikkun-utaune, Kagayours and pristine-bean!! are online

zhiYEET: IM????  WAS THAT PLANNED

FL(OW)ER: planned??

FL(OW)ER: oh. nah. hua is shit at communicating plans

XinHua_pan: UNNESSECARY SLANDER????

pristine-bean!!: hiii everyone!!! how was your guys days? :D

pristine-bean!!: WAIT THE SCHOOL IS ON FIRE??????

pikkun-utatune: went from 0 to 100 real quick

pikkun-utatune: but acceptably so. is the school really on fire?

zhiYEET: indeed. i present to you the current state of our school:

zhiYEET:

FL(OW)ER: understandable, have a nice day

Matcha: The fire is out already, there’s no need to show elmo surrounded by flames.

Matcha: Really, all you care about need to know is that the school’s closed for the foreseeable future  

pristine-bean!!: wait if the school's gonna be shut down for the foreseeable future cause of the fire, will that big chemistry test be cancelled??

Kagayours: that woman hates children, so i highly doubt it

pikkun-utatune: at least we have a couple more days to study....

[ONE]: so get to it.

FL(OW)ER: but if the chemistry lab was set on fire, doesn't that mean the chemistry class will have to be somewhere else?

XinHua_pan: Yeah!!! miss stockinghem is always such a stickler for the rules, she'll be so mad that the chem room is out of commission

XinHua_pan: she could postpone the test out of spite!

[ONE]: but to spite who, hua? the gods?

XinHua_pan: ye s?

akuno-akuma: let hua dream, you heartless tea leaf murdering midget

[ONE]: ///..???/.

pikkun-utatune: fukase dm'd me just to make me tell you he's cackling at one rn

FL(OW)ER: oh right, fukase is muted

akuno-akuma: oh right, fukase exists

pikkun-utatune: 

akuno-akuma: ohh no i feel sooooo threatened

pristine-bean!!: i bet fukase is about to scream at you through your dms lol

akuno-akuma: he's already blocked, i am prepared

pikkun-utatune: i wish i could block him, but he knows where i live

pikkun-utatune: he'd just come and bother me irl

zhiYEET: like you'd be bothered with that

pikkun-utatune: what?

Kagayours: nothing. moke said nothing

zhiYEET: sure, len. sure

pikkun-utatune: ???????

XinHua_pan: Um so i just backread and?? Apparently rana set the school on fire?? 

XinHua_pan: Can someone please explain

[ONE]: no for once i’m at a complete loss as to what to say

Matcha: So am i

pikkun-utatune: wait fukase is dming me about something una texted him

pristine-bean!!: OH isn’t una rana's bestie???? 

akuno-akuma: i thought they were dating

FL(OW)ER: you think all closeted lesbians are dating

akuno-akuma: am i wrong though

FL(OW)ER: honestly? no. no not really

pikkun-utatune: relaying dms rn

pikkun-utaune: its story time bitches

Kagayours: HE CURSED

zhiYEET: FINALLY, WE BROKE IN HIS ANTI POTTY MOUTH MINDSET

[ONE]: i do not know how to feel about those choices of words

[💬] FUUUCKASE and Squidilidoo - 19:34 - Private Message

Squidilidoo: fukase

Squidilidoo: fukase please 

Squidilidoo: fukase where is iroha 

Squidilidoo: or rana. do you know where either of them are

Squidilidoo: fukase

Squidilidoo: fukase

Squidilidoo: fukase

Squidilidoo: FUKASE I AM ON MY HANDS AND KNEES BEGGING FOR YOU TO TELL ME WHERE MY FRIENDS ARE

FUUUUCKASE: what????????/// the fuck///????/

Squidilidoo: the school is on fire

FUUUCKASE: oh

FUUUCKASE: OH BET

Squidilidoo: and iroha went after rana, who set the fire

FUUUCKASE: oh shit

Squidilidoo: yeah and ranas phone must have melted or something because i cant get a hold of her and now im crying in my room curled up on my bed imagining the worst scenarios and preparing for ranas inevitable death

Squidilidoo: Iroha is probably dead too so a double funeral is in order i guess

FUUUCKASE: please, rana and iroha have both probably looked god dead in the eye and flipped him off. there's no way a fucking fire would kill them

FUUUCKASE: i can text my sister and get more info. she's a police officer and is probably at school rn

Squidilidoo: ok

FUUUCKASE: brb with info lol

[💬] FUUUCKASE and Akiko-Satoru - 19:52 - Private Message

FUUUCKASE: sisss i need help

Akiko-Satoru: What? I'm on duty, Fukase, I really can't be texting.

FUUUCKASE: ok but i just wanna ask a question

Akiko-Satoru: Fine.

FUUUCKASE: there are like... two children there who are both my friends

FUUUCKASE: nekomura iroha and kaneko rana

FUUUCKASE: both of whom went into/were in the building during the fire lol

Akiko-Satoru: They're both fine. Iroha tried to go into the building but the firefighters wouldn't let her. Especially after hearing her scream "my daughter is in there, let me through!" among other things.

Akiko-Satoru: Rana actually made it out pretty fast, she even used the fire extinguisher to try and douse the flames, triggering the fire alarm when that didn't work. They're both getting ready to go to the hsopticakhsvbljjj

FUUUCKASE: um

FUUUCKASE: sis?????

Akiko-Satoru: FUKASE

Akiko-Satoru: IT WAS FUCKING CRAZY

Akiko-Satoru: THERE ARENT ANY EMOTICONS ON THIS PHONE I CATN PROPERLY ARTICULATE HOW I FEEL

FUUUCKASE: iroha????????//

Akiko-Satoru: YEAH I STOLE UR SISTERS PHONE LMAO

FUUUCKASE: haha thats cool

FUUUCKASE: are u and rana ok?? una is probably puking out of concern now

Akiko-Satoru: :0000

Akiko-Satoru: Yeah we're both fine!!! rana's phone melted in the fire lol

Akiko-Satoru: i'm just glad my daughter is ok <3

Akiko-Satoru: anyways going to the hospital with rana who may or may not have second degree burns see u later ✌️ <3

FUUUCKASE: aight see you later

FUUUCKASE: i should probably tell piko and una abt this

Akiko-Satoru: Can you also discourage your friends from stealing phones? She returned it, but I would to know that not all of your friends are thieves.

FUUUCKASE: :)

Akiko-Satoru: Fukase?

Akiko-Satoru: Confirm?

Akiko-Satoru: Please??

Akiko-Satoru: Fukase?

Akiko-Satoru: Why do I even bother with him....

[💬] Hi welcome to wendys - 20:07

pikkun-utatune: hopefully that answers all questions because i need to sleep

pikkun-utatune: and visit fukase who is visiting iroha/rana in the hospital. im just going to sleep to mentally prepare myself for breathing the same oxygen as That Many dumbasses at a time

pikkun-utatune: so goodbyw forever

pristine-bean!!: gn!!!! tell rana i said hi when you see her!!

[➡️]  pikkun-utatune is offline

zhiYEET: >:0

zhiYEET: he couldve told us more! it's only 8:00 by 12-hour standards

XinHua_pan: Piko just needs rest bro let him

FL(OW)ER: please never use bro ever again it sounds wrong coming from you

[ONE]: yeah,

Kagayours: ANYWAYS are we all in agreement of how entertaining this night has been for us

Matcha: I don't know if 'entertaining' is the word I would use for this situation, but this night has certainly been something.

akuno-akuma: mhm

zhiYEET: definitely. 

[ONE]: tbh im just glad no one got hurt.

[ONE]: yknow. physically. im sure some people are mentally/emotionally traumatized.

akuno-akuma: i like how you're just. ignoring the fact that rana and iroha are in the hospital

[ONE]: but do they really fall under the category of 'no one'?? 'no one' generally refers to people and fukase literally said they looked god in the eye and flipped him off.

[ONE]: would any normal person really do that??

pristine-bean!! : i would

[ONE]: no one here counts as normal. not even azuki

FL(OW)ER: yeah azuki is too bright for this life. 

Matcha: If any of you speak poorly of azuki I will slit your throat

zhiYEET: CONCERN????

akuno-akuma: anyways (x2) I'm pretty sure kokone is having a mental breakdown considering the content of the texts she's sending me.

XinHua_pan: PREVIOUSLY ON THIS EPISODE OF "HI WELECOME TO WENDYS"-- THE SCHOOL CATCHES ON FUCKING FIRE AND THREE PEOPLE HAVE BREAKDOWNS

zhiYEET: just another normal day lol

[💬] Hi welcome to wendys - 20:13

Chapter Text

[💬] Hi welcome to wendys - 20:14

FL(OW)ER: kokone is having a mental breakdown???? what???

Matcha: I'm incredibly concerned but also scared to ask.

akuno-akuma: we share english together and um. we have an essay to turn in right

akuno-akuma: well she did something. something very bad

akuno-akuma: as in accidentally deleted the entire essay

zhiYEET: major oof

[ONE]: are you just incapable of giving serious responses

zhiYEET: yes, i'm bad at feelings. is that really something to get shamed for

Kagayours: for people who don't understand your emotional trauma yes, it is athing to get shamd for

akuno-akuma: WELL i'm the least emotional person on this planet ever so if someone could like. take over comfort texting her.

akuno-akuma: that'd be great

FL(OW)ER: as one of her girlfriends, allow me

pristine-bean!!: >:0

pristine-bean!!: rude!! im her gf too

zhiYEET: oh right she's poly

XinHua_pan: mhm! three girlfriends as of now, but i think she may be considering asking out an upper classman 

[ONE]: yeah, i think she's my sister's gf's childhood friend or smth

Matcha: One, that was too specific to warrant a 'smth'

[ONE]: fine

[ONE]: she IS my sister's gf's childhood friend

Matcha: .

pristine-bean!!: lmao sassy one is the best one

[ONE]: >:)

XinHua_pan: OH MY GOD?????? SHE USED AN EMOTICON

XinHua_pan: @nyaaah GET UR ASS IN HERE

[✅] nyaaah is online

nyaaah: I HAST BEEN SUMMONTHED BY THE POWER OFTH THE @ TH!!!!!!

Kagayours: 'summonthed'

Matcha: How am I even supposed to pronounce that word

zhiYEET: that's the thing- your're not

akuno-akuma: your're

nyaaah: lmao i can hear matcha crying

pristine-bean!!: wait fr

nyaaah: NAYWAAYS

nyaaah: ONE!!!!!1!!!!1 YOU!!!1!! USED!!!!! AN EMOTICON!!1!!!!!11!!!!!!!

nyaaah: im so proud of u!!! ☆*:.｡.o(≧▽≦)o.｡.:*☆

[ONE]: cool

XinHua_pan: the fact that she can't handle affection in large amounts makes this all the more precious 

nyaaah: 

nyaaah: my emotions rn

nyaaah: one you're so cute i just

nyaaah: i cant (ಥ﹏ಥ)

Matcha: Wait iroha aren't you in the hospital?

nyaaah: 

nyaaah: so what if i am

nyaaah: OH and rana says hi to u azuki

pristine-bean!!: :DDD

Matcha: Stop avoiding the question.

zhiYEET: proper grammar over text scares me

Kagayours: that much be why parents are so terrifying

akuno-akuma: So if I text like this, I can scare you?

zhiYEET: AS MUCH AS I WANT TO SAY NO TO PISS YOU OFF ON FUKASE'S BEHALF YES YOU ARE TEN TIMES MORE TERRIFYING

[ONE]: ignoring moke

[ONE]: do we have any news on whether or not kokone okay?

[ONE]: she deserves to be happy v_v)

XinHua_pan: SHE

XinHua_pan: SHE DID IT AGAIN

XinHua_pan: SHE USED AN EMOTICON!!

Matcha: Iroha are you going to tell us if you're in the hospital or are you just going to keep avoiding the question?

nyaaah: sO how is kokone?????

FL(OW)ER: having a mental breakdown rn

nyaaah: NYANI????????

nyaaah: WHO MADE KOKO CRY

nyaaah: WHO DO I NEED TO PUNCH

nyaaah: ╬ (ง ᵒ̌ 皿ᵒ̌)ง⁼³₌₃ ╬

FL(OW)ER: unfortunately all you can punch is kokone's computer

nyaaah: HEY

nyaaah: i can throw hands with a computer

nyaaah: watch that bitch catch these pussy cat hands ヽ(#ﾟДﾟ)ﾉ┌┛Σ(ノ´Д`)ノ

Matcha: Iroha. Answer my question.

nyaaah: FINEEE yes i am in the hospital

nyaaah: apparently i inahled too much smoke so i sound funky

nyaaah: but dw!!! rana and i are gonna be good as new by the time school opens back up!

pristine-bean!!: that's good!!!! now that the question is answered, can we have an update on kokone?

FL(OW)ER: well, she's having a mental breakdown. so she's pretty bad.

FL(OW)ER: she is shedding from stress so im picking up her favorite shampoo and tampons. and blankets and a new stuffed animal.

Matcha: Flower, did you just say kokone sheds???

nyaaah: yeah kokone sheds when shes emotional

Kagayours: are you

Kagayours: are you comparing your girlfriend to a dog

nyaaah: how dare you NOT compare my platonic wife to a dog

FL(OW)ER:  *our platonic wife

pristine-bean!!: YEAH

[ONE]: i'm confused how is she a dog

nyaaah: pulls out a powerpoint

nyaaah: i'm glad you asked

nyaaah: [kokoneisadogconfirmed.pptx]

XinHua_pan: IROHA PLEASE WTF IS THISSSS

nyaaah: a masterpiece is what it is.

[ONE]: iroha these arnet valid reasons to call someone a dog

Matcha: Iroha, if you could put half the effort you wasted on this powerpoint into school you'd be getting B's at the very least

nyaaah: bold of you to assume i'm NOT getting b's

Matcha: You're not, Iroha. You're getting D's

nyaaah: well heck you too >:P

pristine-bean!!: dw iroha!! i like it!
pristine-bean!!: people usually call people 'dogs' as a slur. you just gave it a positive meaning :)

Matcha: Oh, of course, it's a very creative way of spreading positivity.

Kagayours: matcha with azuki: oh dear oh dear, gorgeous

Kagayours: matcha with everyone else: you fucking donkey

Matcha: Is he really wrong? You all are fucking donkeys.

zhiYEET: and we accept that wholeheartedly

XinHua_pan: yeah. with enough of our influence, you too will eventually join the ranks of the donkeys

Kagayours: "join the ranks of the donkeys"

nyaaah: do it matcha. join the donkeys

pristine-bean!!: yeah >:3

Matcha: I look directly into the camera as I say, complete emotionless, "I'm going to cry" before lying down and crying.

[ONE]: good

[ 💬 ] Hi welcome to wendys - 20:14

Chapter Text

[💬] Hi welcome to wendys - 00:21

Fukase: I'M BACK YOU ASSHOLES

Fukase: YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD GET RID OF ME, BUT YOU THOUGHT WRONG

Fukase: I AM UNESCAPABLE. UNBEARABLE. INSUFFERABLE!!! NOT EVEN MY OWN FAMILY CAN STAND ME

[ONE]: IT IS 1 AM IN THE FUCKING MORNING GO BACK TO BED

Fukase: WHY SHOULD I, YOU'RE NOT CUL

Fukase: YOU DONT FUCKING SCARE ME YOU GREMLIN

[ONE]: TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW

Fukase: make me bitch

[ONE]: you're so fucking lucky im against pinging matcha when she's trying to get a good nights rest.

[ONE]: unlike you

Fukase: that's an insult to yourself too seeing as how you're awake at this time too

[ONE]: i'm about to punch you through my phone

XinHua_pan: How about we Don't Do That.

Fukase: yeah ONE no violence in matchas christian minecraft server

[ONE]: matcha was the one who muted you. muting equals death here you deformed reject wendy model

Fukase: BITHC

XinHua_pan: *bicth

[ONE]: ehbveirjnkjkjd??????

Fukase: i hate how you're so good at keyboard smashing

XinHua_pan: Fukase you keyboard smash with your forehead. what do you expect.

Fukase: somethign good to come of this meaningless, empty void we call life.

[ONE]: aaaaaaand that is our cue to leave before this becomes too psychologically reflective for one am in the morning.

XinHua_pan: yup

Xinhua_pan: See you at school fukase!!

Fukase: FUCK i forgot it opens tomorrow.

Fukase: guess i'll actually have to sleep tonight if i wanna enjoy these last few hours of freedom 😔✊

[ONE]: yeah probably

Fukase: ....do u think matcha will be willing to change my nickname back

XinHua_pan: oh jesus christ no

[ONE]: no fucking way

Fukase: ........ :(

[➡️] [ONE] and XinHua_pan are offline

Fukase: hmmm

Fukase: fuck guess admin controls are locked

Fukase: >:(

Fukase: guess i'll just wait here until everyone wakes up

Fukase: :0000

Fukase: or i could bother piko

[💬] Boku no Pickle and FUUUCKASE - 01:19 - Private Message

FUUUCKASE: pikoooooo are u awake

Boku no Pickle: i am now

FUUUCKASE: :D yayyyyy

FUUUCKASE: wanna play league together

Boku no Pickle: just lemme finish my domain runs real quick

FUUUCKASE: YO you're on genshin???? lemme join your world

FUUUCKASE: i havent been online for a while so my moves may be rusty...... but my diluc is not

FUUUCKASE: double crowned and level 80 >:)))

Boku no Pickle: yeah i know you've said so like a gazillion times

FUUUCKASE: joining now :0

Boku no Pickle: can we do some weekly bosses to?? trying to crown my zhongli and keqing

FUUUCKASE: hahhahaa the simp and simped

Boku no Pickle: lowkey think keqing intentionally throws herself into childe's attacks at times. specifically the fucking whale

FUUUCKASE: diluc refuses to die from this bitch

FUUUCKASE: look at him. such a champ for hanging on despite having like 1000 hp left

Boku no Pickle: FUCKING CHILDE YOU BITCHASS FUCK

Boku no Pickle: good luck without kokomi to heal you

FUUUCKASE: she doesnt have crit, she cant do shit

FUUUCKASE: i dont need her

Boku no Pickle: take that back right now you piece of shit

[💬] Hi welcome to wendys - 06:46

Matcha: Can everyone give some sort of confirmation on whether you'll be at school or not? I need to come up with excuses for the ones who aren't and have Mayu forge their parent's signature in excusing absence notes.

zhiYEET: WHA

FL(OW)ER: skipping lmao

XinHua_pan: UNLIKE MY COUSIN i will be at school!!

pikkun-utatune: fukase and i are coming as well

Fukase: i?? did not give my consent????

Kagayours: luka is driving me and rin todya

nyaaah: I AM COMING AS WELL unfortunately.

Fukase: well damn if my kid has to suffer through this so will i

nyaaah: ily

Fukase: ily 2

Kokoro<3: ignoring whatever the hell that was

Kokoro<3: i'm coming to school too

nyaaah: KOKONE MY PLATONIC BELOVED!!!!! glad to see u ok

Kokoro<3: ^v^)/ <3<3

nyaaah: ̥̻̥̻̥͙̻̥̻̥͙̥̻̥͙̻̥͙̥͙ ꒰ ˆ ॢ꒵ ॢˆ꒱♡꒰•ॢ◞•ॢ ꒱ ̻͙̥̻͙̻̥̻͙̥̻̥̻͙*̻̥̻̥̻͙

pristine-bean!!: KOKONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

pristine-bean!!: ilysm!!! v glad to see you're a-okay

zhiYEET: enough of the pda

akuno-akuma: please. you're just mad you don't have anyone other than fukase to love

akuno-akuma: which is understandable since he's a pain in the ass

Fukase: SHUT

pikkun-utatune: what do you mean by fukase and love

zhiYEET:

zhiYEET: it means we're dating

nyaaah: UM ANYWAYS

nyaaah: u all know how i almost died right

Fukase: YEAH IN A FIRE

Fukase: sorry caps

akuno-akuma: fukase never apologizes

FL(OW)ER: must be something............... 𝓼𝓮𝓻𝓲𝓸𝓾𝓼 if he's trying to change the subject so desperately

Fukase: CAN YOU TWO STOP MEDDLING IN MY LIFE FOR A SINGLE MOMENT

akuno-akuma: no

FL(OW)ER: tough luck buddy

Kokoro<3: that's rough buddy

XinHua_pan: HUUHTRGHEFPKOEJGUK;VNFO[??????????

zhiYEET: CRYING AND ROLLING AROUND ON THE FLOOR AND HOLDING THIS NEWLY BORN CULTURED CHILD IN MY HANDS WITH TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE

nyaaah: not to take away from this beautiful, precious moment, but i want to reveal my grand master plan

Kokoro<3: ofc go ahead

nyaaah: ty!!!

nyaaah: so,

nyaaah: to celebrate not dying in a fire,

Fukase: 0w0

nyaaah: i’m having miki hack the live stream of the school’s news and play nyan cat

pikkun-utatune: why my sister

nyaaah: bc we went to robotics together and she's the only one on the school news staff that i know would 100% be willing to do this

pikkun-utatune: wouldn't that akita girl be okay with it to?

nyaaah: THEORHETICALLY yes

nyaaah: but do i want to risk it? no

FL(OW)ER: valid points, all of them

nyaaah: yeah!!! and and-

nyaaah: she's gonna play the ten hour version >:))

[ONE]: i highly doubt it'll be on long enough for all ten hours to play

pristine-bean!!: yeah the faculty will probably shut it off before then :/

nyaaah: nyahehehehehehe

nyaaah: you underestimate the power of viruses

Matcha: I suddenly have an overwhelming, inexplicable fear for all the technical support people at school

XinHua_pan: same, honestly

[💬] burn to death and FUUUCKASE - 07:03 - Private Message

FUUUCKASE: cul

FUUUCKASE: cul i need your help

FUUUCKASE: cul please

FUUUCKASE: cul i have made a terrible mistake

burn to death: worse than that time you set our uncle's beehives on fire

FUUUCKASE: worse than that time i set our uncle's beehives on fire

burn to death: oh

burn to death: what's up

FUUUCKASE: you know pickle

FUUUCKASE: piko

FUUUCKASE: utatane pickle

FUUUCKASE: PIKO

FUUUCKASE: FUCK

burn to death: yeah? the heterochromia dude who always came over in middle school right

FUUUCKASE: yeah that's him

FUUUCKASE: so. i may have a crush on him. and may be going the entirely wrong way about it, and now he may hate me and i may be almost crying in my room on the floor in despare/self-loathing/sadness etc.

burn to death: ok um. what did you do

FUUUCKASE: fake date someone i know he has a rivalry with in an attempt to get him to fall in love with me out of jealousy

burn to death: fukase what the actual fuck were you thinking

FUUUCKASE: I WASNT OK BUT NOW I NEED HELP FROM U

burn to death: WHY ME?????

FUUUCKASE: BC UR SOMEONE WHO HAS TWO GIRLFRIENSD

burn to death: i hate how you have a point

FUUUCKASE: please just fucking help me

burn to death: long sigh

burn to death: you're lucky i love you

FUUUCKASE: thamk you from the bottom of my heart

burn to death:

burn to death: feliz navidad

[💬] FUUUCKASE and burn to death - 07:12 - Private Message

Chapter Text

[💬] Boku no Pickle and SF-A2 - 07:15 - Private Message

Boku no Pickle: hey um

Boku no Pickle: you've been in a relationship before right

SF-A2: yeah, not worth it tbh

SF-A2: when i tell someone i need them to do all the emotional work they just. automatically assume im not worth it

Boku no Pickle: oh

SF-A2: yeah lol

SF-A2: but why? wassup lil bro

Boku no Pickle: I uh.... may be having relationship problems

SF-A2: EWAT

SF-A2: THEN DONT LISTEN TO ME JESUS

SF-A2: FUCK

SF-A2: YOU CAN SAVE THE RELATIONSHOP I BELIEVE IN U!!! dont listen to me

Boku no Pickle: HUH???

Boku no Pickle: i'M NOT ACTUALLY IN A RELATIONSHIP RN

SF-A2: oh

SF-A2: OHHH 

SF-A2: YOU'RE PINING!!!! FINALLY

SF-A2: Who's it on???? fukase????? len?? 

SF-A2: GASP

SF-A2: moke!!! you two always had great slow burn potentinal 

Boku no Pickle: no. no to all of that

SF-A2: :,(

Boku no Pickle: well.... most of it

SF-A2: 0w0??

Boku no Pickle: i am. um. in love with fukase

SF-A2: YESSS  FRIENDS TO LOVERS!!!

SF-A2: WAIT, EVEN BETTER

SF-A2: CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO LVOERS!!!! THE OG TROPE OF LOVERS

Boku no Pickle: why. why did I come to you of all people for advice

SF-A2: OH right right right riiiight

SF-A2: ahem

SF-A2: so,, what might be troubling you, young one?

Boku no Pickle: so im in love with fukase but he's dating moke. but mayu and flower made it super suspisious so i don't really know what to think anymore.......

SF-A2: >:00 that's fucked up

Boku no Pickle: yeah. so i need help. did i loose my chance to date him? i've been in love with him for the longest time i just havent told anyone.... bc im a closed off introvert and such. you get it right? you're friends with like fifty million introverts

SF-A2: OF COURse i get u, lil bro

SF-A2: so dw dw

SF-A2: onee-chan's got it covered

Boku no Pickle: please never use that phrase ever again

SF-A2: yeah it sounded better in my head

[💬] Hi welcome to wendys - 07:27

nyaaah: heading over to the news room to bother miki irl

Matcha: Is there any possible way you could be convinced to not mess up the school's technical system

nyaaah: unless there are free kittens in the deal bribe no 

[ONE]: should i go warn them

FL(OW)ER: nah let the shit go down

XinHua_pan: Flower you have no say in this, you're skipping

FL(OW)ER: so?

akuno-akuma: i just want to terrorize fukase but he's not answering his dms

Fukase: i have you blocked oyu asshole

akuno-akuma: fuck you

Matcha: If you two are going to fight take it outside

prisitne-bean!!: the morning news is starting!!!!! im excited to see what iroha is plannigng!!

Kokoro<3: Azuki, never, ever change

Kokoro<3: Please always remain a sweet sunshine child

Matcha: PREACH

[ONE]: ugh nerus the announcer again

zhiYEET: what's so bad about 'neru'

[ONE]: she just never gives a crap about the actual news

[ONE]: she always makes the announcements about the latest gossip

Kagayours: i mean its still pretty useful imo

Fukase: My child have you successfully planted the bomb

Matcha: You do realize the faculty could see that sentence and take it as a threat for the school's safety right??

Fukase: yeah

Fukase: let them be fearful >:)

nyaaah: bomb (aka nyan cat virus) is planted!!!

Kagayours: finally

Kagayours: chaos reigns free

Matcha: The video hasn't even started....

Kagayours: but i can sense it about to happen

Kokoro<3: Sense it how, exactly?

Kagayours: scent

zhiYEET: u fucking furry lol

Kagayours: BITCH

zhiYEET: no u

nyaaah: thank u

[ONE]: next

XinHua_pan: next!!!

FL(OW)ER: STOP

XinHua_pan: btw @everyone if u wanna terrorize flower spam ariana grande songs to them!! they hate her lol

FL(OW)ER: well, at least you remembered my pronouns

pristine-bean!!: (iconic mari ohara voice) OHH MY GODDD

pristine-bean!!: THE NEYAN CAT STATRED!!!

nyaaah: complete unrelated to the wonderful shitshow thats about to go down but piko can i dm u

pikkun-utatune: oh yeah sure

FL(OW)ER: hhhhh you still have her muted from that prank?????

pikkun-utatune: that fucking laptop cost me several weeks of 24/7 shifts at a hot topic store so exCUSE ME if i'm mad about iroha breaking it

[ONE]: ngl i lowkey forgot about that

pikkun-utatune: ...nice to know i'm being appreaciated

[💬] Boku no Pickle and Ironyan - 07:43 - Private Message

Boku no Pickle: I'm going to regret this so much

[‼️] Boku no Pickle unblocked Ironyan

Ironyan: thank u!!! i apologize once again for breaking ur laptop!! i almost have the money to make up for it :DD

Ironyan: but that's not why we're here today..........

Ironyan: we're here to discuss my dads love life

Ironyan: so... mr utatune.......

Ironyan: HAVE U FINALLY FALLEN IN LOVE WITH MI PAPA??

Ironyan: ARE YOU HIS ONE TRUE AMOURE???? ( ✧Д✧) 

Ironyan: WHEN IS UR WEDDIGNGNG????/ I MUST KNOW!! MY DAD DESERVES THE BEST DRESS EVER

Boku no Pickle: i have one thousand regrets in my life and right now you're fifty million of them

[💬] Boku no Pickle and Ironyan - 07:47 - Private Message

Chapter Text

[💬] Hi welcome to wendys - 15:34

Matcha: There are to be no parties wit

Matcha: ourhhdfosfnjnjdlklsll

Fukase: BRUH what even is the point of new years without parties

zhiYEET: there is no point

Kokoro<3: let her FINISH

FL(OW)ER: yea she was clearly interrupted in her writing

akuno-akuma: *texting

[ONE]: *typing

XinHua_pan: there're all the same thing shaking my smh

zhiYEET: IUFERIUFUEGRHHERUUHHK?????

Matcha: First of all, that sentence hurts my eyes to look at

Matcha: Second of all, yes, i was not done typing

Matcha: My little brother came out of no where and snatched my phone.

Fukase: just finish typing

pikkun-utatune: you have to give her a chance to finish

Matcha: Thank you

Matcha: What i was trying to say was, "There are to be no parties without myself, Mayu or One present"

Fukase: THATS ALMOST WORSE WTF

Kagayours: Better than nothing smh

Matcha: Would you like to hear my reasoning behind it?

FL(OW)ER: i would like to hear why tf i wasn't in that list

Matcha: You have a tendency to get sucked into their um. Chaos, per say

nyaaah: she aint wrong nya

Kagayours: keep that fucking furry away from me

nyaaah: I AM A CAT GIRL U BAKA

zhiYEET: YEAH LEN U STINKY SMELLY BAKA

FL(OW)ER: kagamine len is a stinky smelly bitchass baka bitch

Matcha: Yeah, so that's why you aren't in the list flower

FL(OW)ER: ok yeah fair

Matcha: Anyways,

Matcha: The reason for me REQUIRING one of the above to be present in a new years party is simple.

Matcha: You all remember last year's christmas party, right? The one where i was sick and One was dealing with family matters?

nyaaah: LMAO YEAH HAHAHA

Fukase: it was fuckin wild

[ONE]: you were on tv for nearly burning a warehouse down

zhiYEET: BRUH WHAT

zhiYEET: NOW I WISH ID BEEN THERE?????

XinHua_pan: well you were still in china at the time lmao

Matcha: The majority of the people can't be trusted to throw a party and not burn a building down.

pristine-bean!!: even me??

Matcha: You could never burn a house down

akuno-akuma: not without the right guidance

Matcha: Mayu i swear to god

[💬] burn to death and SF-A2 - 16:20 - Private Message

burn to death: why are our brothers such idiots

SF-A2: bc they're related to us ig

SF-A2: we've just. infected them with our hopeless romantic shennanigans

burn to death: god i hate it here

SF-A2: SO DO I BUT IM NOT BITCHING ABT IT ALL THE TIME

burn to death: UNCALLED CAPS???????

SF-A2: I JUST WANT PICKLE TO BE HAPPY OK

burn to death: YEAH WELL I WANT FUCKASS TO BE HAPPY TOO

SF-A2: IF WE AGREE THEN WHY ARE WE YELLING??

burn to death: IDK YOU STARTED IT

SF-A2: GASP??!!

SF-A2: DID NOT

burn to death: DID TO

SF-A2: DID NOT

burn to death: DID TWO

SF-A2: DID NOT

burn to death: DID TOO

[💬] Hi welcome to wendys - 16:39 - 13 members online

FL(OW)ER: ok whoever created charades can go and suck my dick

XinHua_pan: you're just mad you didn't win lol

FL(OW)ER: LOOK WHO THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA FOR FUKASE AND IROHA TO EVEN BE ON THE SAM TEAM

FL(OW)ER: WE ALL KNOW YOU CAN READ EACH OTHERS MINDS BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN JUST DOMINATE ALL OF US

Fukase: nah that's EXACTLY what it means

pristine-bean!!: LOOK IM LEGIT IM CRYING TEARS RN

pristine-beam!!: LIKW HOW IDID HE GET SKYDIVING FROM IROHA YEETING HERSELF FROM THE BALCONY

nyaaah: we're just that Close

[ONE]: wasn't iroha actually like. mundane before fukase came and corrupted her

Fukase: RUDE i didn't CORRUPT Her i just opened her eyes to the countless possibilites of chaos

akuno-akuma: *possibilities 

Fukase: FUCK. YOU

Matcha: Iroha was actually a good student until fukase came and poisoned her, yes.

nyaaah: don't talk abt my dad like that 

nyaaah: he's more of a parent to me than even my own parents!!!!!!!!!!! SLANDER IS NOT TOLERATED

zhiYEET: that's actually really sad but. i just can't take it seriously with your stupidity 

nyaaah: good. never ever take me seriously

[ONE]: never did

XinHua_pan: never will

pristine-bean!!: never had

pikkun-utatune: that's the same thing as one's

pristine-bean!!: i just wanted to join in sorry

Kokoro<3: You're fine love

Kokoro<3: Anyways! The cake is ready and the house is set up!!! come over whenever you're ready!

Kokoro<3: and i'm frosting it rn if any of you heathens want to use what's leftover to give len a beard

Kagayours: IT WAS ONE TIME. ONE SINGLE TIME

Kagayours: WE WERE ALL DRUNK AND WE THOUGHT ITD BE A GOOD IDEA

Matcha: That one single time will never be forgotten.  ever.

Kokoro<3: AND since this part is at my house i have rules!

Fukase: oh god

Kokoro<3: 1. no setting anything on fire/setting fireworks off in the house

Kokoro<3: 2. no seven minutes in heaven

Kokoro<3: 3. no horseplay

Kokoro<3: 4. no nonconsensual kissing

zhiYEET: WEE OOH WEE OH

Fukase: the fun police have arrived!!!!!!!!! no more fun

FL(OW)ER: ok but why did i think of sunshine from fnaf

pristine-bean!!: what's fnaf

Matcha: no

nyaaah: THE FACT THAT HE STOPPED TYPING IMMEDIATELY

Kagayours: cant someone listen to me infodumping 

akuno-akuma: no

zhiYEET: anything for u

FL(OW)ER: what

zhiYEET: what

Kokoro<3: look just as long as my house stays intact enough for me to clean it up before my parents come home anything is fine

Fukase: FUCK YEAH WE BROKE HER BITCHES

Fukase: TIME TO BLOW THIS JOINT

Matcha: Fukase please don't bring illegal fireworks again

[➡️]  Fukase is offline

Matcha: FUKASE SATORU I WILL CALL CUL ON YOU

FL(OW)ER: this is gonna be good

pristine-bean!!: i love all of you sm

nyaaah: but??

pristine-bean!!: no buts. i just wanted to say that i love all of you

pristine-bean!!: i have no clue where my live would be w/o all of you........ i rlly want to thank all of you for being friends with me

zhiYEET: holy fuck what the shit why am i tearing up

akuno-akuma: you have emotions that's why

FL(OW)ER: i dont like them.  take them back

Matcha: Ignoring them,

Matcha: Azuki that was so pure i don't think i can look at you without being blinded

pristine-bean!!: i just had to get it off my chest since i know this wont last forever

pristine-bean!!: like we'll all go to college and live our separate lives............ maybe fukase will die a drunk driver idk..... mathca will probably be a certified genius by the time she's graduated ... hua and moke will probably go back to china after the school year and i just wanna thank all of you before its too late

pikkun-utatune: this is so depressing wtf

[ONE]: yeah but it's also not???

[ONE]: like i fucking hate crying but this makes it worth it 

akuno-akuma: same

akuno-akuma: also, never let fukase see this

Matcha: agreed. someone take screenshots for all of us before i delete the messages

pristine-bean!!: OH i can print them out and make little lockets for everyone!!!!!!

Kagayours: ABSOLUTE SOBBING azuki stop it before we all die

zhiYEET: THIS WOULD BE A HAPPY DEATH NGL

Kokoro<3: JUST COME OVER TO MY HOUSE BEFORE ANY MORE TEARS SALT THE CAKE

Kokoro<3: I MNEED A HUG

FL(OW)ER: OFC COMING OVER RN

[💬] Boku no Pickle and SF-A2 - 07:15 - Private Message

pikkun-utatune: question: how does one confess in a noncheesy way

pikkun-utatune: and also, how does one not fear the inevitability of friendships weakening and romance fading? asking for my mental health

SF-A2: how the fuck would i know im just as confused as you

[💬] Boku no Pickle and SF-A2 - 07:15 - Private Message

Chapter Text

[💬] Hi welcome to wendys - 08:03

Matcha: I think I can speak for all of us when I say I was 100% expecting iroha to get caught in the act

pristine-bean!!: yeah!!!!!

FL(OW)ER: SO allow me to be the first to congragulate you on pinning the crime on someone else entirely

Fukase: ^

pristine-bean!!: ^^^^

Kokoro<3: ^^!!

nyaaah: thank ya thank ya, ur too kind <33

Kagayours: LMAO YEAH NERU TOTALLY DESERVED THAT

zhiYEET: YEAH

zhiYEET: wait why did she deserve it

Fukase: hm? are you on her side?

XinHua_pan: …..ARE YOU A TRAITOR???

zhiYEET: no???

Fukase: BURN HIM AT THE STAKE

pikkun-utatune: i thought u were dating him???

nyaaah: YEAH ME TOO

nyaaah: DAD LOVERS DONT BURN EACH OTHER AT TEH STAKE

Fukase: YEAH WEL WHAT IF I WANT ROMEO AND JULIET VIBES

Fukase: WAHT IF I WANT TO BRING TEH ENTIRE WORLD DOWN AFTER MY LOVER DIES

pikkun-utatune: IM LIKE 50% SURE THATS NOT HOW LOVE WORKS

zhiYEET: WAIT IM SO CONFUSED

zhiYEET: WHO IS NERU AND WHY AM I BEING BURNT AT THE STAKE BY PPL WHO THINK IM “SUPPORTING” HER

Kagayours: dudes chill out

Kagayours: moke wasnt here for all that drama

zhiYEET: drama?

nyaaah: yea what good school DOESNT have drama ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

pristine-bean!!: tell him tell him tell him tell him!!!!!!!!

Matcha: Let Len do it, it is regarding him

Fukase: aw poo, i wanted to do it :(

FL(OW)ER: you dont have any drama rights

akuno-akuma: especially after last time

[ONE]: YEAH

zhiYEET: huh

[ONE]: long story short my sister was outed to the enTIRE FUCKING SCHOOL

Fukase: BRO CHILL IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

Fukase: I THOUGHT EVERYONE KNEW HOW MUCH OF A LESBIAN SHE WAS

Fukase: IA IS SMOKING HOT NO GUY COULD EVER DREAM OF TOUCHING HER

FL(OW)ER: as a lesbian myslef i can confirm this

[ONE]: THAT DOES NOT CHANGE THE FACT THAT SHE WAS FUCKING TRAUMATIZED MY GOD

Fukase: I ALREADY SAY SORRY A KABAJILLIONS ITMES ONE AND YIAKRI CHASED ME WITH A FUCKING IRL CHAINSAW WHAT MORE DO YOU ANNT FROMW ME????

akuno-akuma: your enternal damnation

zhiYEET: can you guys just tell me everything regarding anything that has ever happened regardiing drama

zhiYEET: i feel left out and it’s making me uncomfortable

Matcha: Oh, we can tell you stories all day if that’s the problem

pristine-bean!!: yeah we have a LOT of stories!!!!!!!!!!!! like the one where iroha got stuck in a tree running from a dog!!!!!

Fukase: GUMIS DOG OF ALL DOGS LMAO

nyaaah: OI IT WAS STILL A DOG AND DOGS FUCKING SCARE ME  

nyaaah: “Σ== ᕕ(´༎ຶ ͟ʖ´༎ຶ)ᕗ

Kokoro<3: oh, but didnt you say i was a dog like three chapters ago?

nyaaah: 

FL(OW)ER: SHES GOT YOU THRE KLMAOEJUEFNERBVJKELS

Kagayours: ANYWAYS who’s ready for akita fucking neru story time

zhiYEET: I WAS BORN READY

Fukase: HELL TO THE FUCKING YEAH

Kagayours: RIGHT

Kagayours: so it all started when i was 10

Matcha: ….

Kagayours: NO I PROMISE IT ACTUALLY DID

Kagayours: so me and rin live with meiko and kaito and miku in a neighborhood right outside school right

Kagayours: luka sometimes hangs with us bc she and miku are basically sisters

Kagayours: but miku lives with kaito and meiko not bc shes an orphan like luka but bc he ractual parents kinda suck

Kagayours: WAHT IM TRYING TO SAY IS MIKU IS LIKE A SISTER TO ME

[ONE]: len i dont think social awkwardness should count if you’re texting

Kagayours: yea sorryim just nervous to type it all oit :(

Matcha: We can take over if you want

pikkun-utatune: yeah no one’s forcing you

Kagayours: no no, im doing this for my beloved moke-kun

akuno-akuma: aaaand any and all pity i had for you evaporated right at the kun part

Kagayours: WELL FUCK YOU TOO

Kagayours: aight where was i…

Kagayours: rIGHT

Kagayours: ahem

FL(OW)ER: get on w it

Kagayours: DONT RUSH ME

Kagayours: so one day miku’s cousins move into the house a few blocks down

Kagayours: their names were haku and neru (hakus RLLY nice disregard any cousin slander i thorw its all aimed at neru)

Kagayours: and neru was……………..interesting. she and miku had this weird one-sided relationship where miku was super nice to her bc of their similar family issues and neru jusrt brushed it off like nothing

Kagayours: she pissed rin off a lot bc of that. i was chill with her bc yknow, sometimes ppl have issues and trauma and its unfair to judge them for it n shit

Kagayours: but neru took my cool boy passiveness and general ‘am being ncie to u bc im a decent human being’-ness for smth else ENTIRELY

zhiYEET: ohhhhh i know where this is going now

XinHua_pan: yeah you’ve had your own fair share of stuff like this, right? tianyi told me abt a lot of it

zhiYEET: yeah.

zhiYEET: len if it makes u uncomfortable u can stop rn, i can piece it togeter form here

Kagayours: no no, this is story time

Kagayours: i must see it thru til the end

Fukase: aight but no one’s forcing you bro

Kagayours: aw, bro

Fukase: bro <3

Kagayours: Bro <33

Fukase: Bro <333333

pristine-bean!!: BROSKIESSSSS!!!!!!!!!!

nyaaah: HESHDJNCEFJVJIOSECKSKCMVN (*☻-☻*)

Kagayours: so anyways neru had a big fat crush on me for the longest time and she wasnt even subtle abt it

Kagayours: i tried to be nice abt it and humor her whichturned out to be a MISTAKE

Kagayours: she bcame rlly uncomfortable to hang around after our last middle school dance where i let her be my ‘date’ 

FL(OW)ER: aka we let her into our already planned group last minute

pristine-bean!!: it couldve been a rlly nice night!!!!!!! neru looked so pretty in her dress!!!

pristine-bean!!: i have pics i can send!!! matcha took all of them so she’s not in a lot

Matcha: I was camera shy back then….

Matcha: Anyways, continue on Len

Kagayours: thanjs

Kagayours: so basically she thought we were a thing going into high school and began bothering us 24/7 despite me telling her to back off repeatedly

FL(OW)ER: i got to punch her in the end

XinHua_pan: i dont think she’s ever forgiven you for that lmao

Kagayours: yeah but it was totally worth it to get her off my back

Fukase: i wish i could’ve punched her too

akuno-akuma: fukase you’d break every bone in your body before you could ever land a scratch on her

Fukase: WOW OK

Fukase: THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR?????

[ONE]: yeah but its tru

Fukase: seiufhAEIUFJWIOEJF???

pristine-bean!!: as someone who has been in a fight with her before that’s 100% true!!

Fukase: EVEN YOU???? AZUKI????????

zhiYEET: WAIT NOW IM INTERESTED

zhiYEET: how ddi the confrontation go down???

Kagayours: HAHAHAA

Kagayours: i am SO glad you asked bc that……that was satisfiying

Matcha: Yeah, even for the nonviolent people here

Kokoro<3: mhm!!!!

Kagayours: i got sick of her constantly waiting for me to a creepy demeanor. like when i was hanging out with all the girls here she got jealous even tho we werent even a thing

Kagayours: so one day, after much nudging from fukase and flower, i told her off in front of everyone as part of the plan, bc if she wants to hurt me she cant do it with all of you presnet yknow

Kagayours: but suprise, she became a total psycho right there in the hall after class

Kagayours: and to even more of our surpise, AZUKI of all ppl was the first to call her out on her bs

pristine-bean!!: yeah yeah!! i was all “girl you’re insecure as heck, and that’s coming from the densest person here”

[ONE]: and boy that hit a cord if i’ve ever seen one

[ONE]: even WITH all of us present she started throwing a hissy fit

Kagayours: yeah and one then led to the next and they started fighting

Fukase: like actually fighting dude

Fukase: pulling each others hair, scratching and gorging out each others eyes

zhiYEET: woah :0

FL(OW)ER: it was honestly crazy

nyaaah: it was and it was BEAUTIFUL✨✨✨

XinHua_pan: for me it was honestly more of a shock

XinHua_pan: mostly bc we’d never seen this side of azuki

Kokoro<3: and after seeing that side of her how could i not fall for her <33

FL(OW)ER: ^

nyaaah: ^^^^^^^^

pristine-bean!!: >///< 

Matcha: And honestly if flower hadn’t stepped in first I probably would’ve become a criminal that day

XinHua_pan: smh you could’ve joined the ranks of the donkeys

nyaaah: ASAAERAAHUHUFJJKNKMKSFLLS

Fukase: ASUDHSIOFHNSUFNSLOHFOUSEIKF

Kagayours: IUFHEIURJFNSKDFNM,,S

Kokoro<3: STOP OMG I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT

[⚙️] [ONE] changed the chat name from “Hi welcome to wendys” to “Matcha joins the ranks of the donkeys ((REAL, NOT CLICKBAIT‼️))”

Matcha: …One i trusted you with these admin powers

[ONE]: matcha, in this world you either become a hero or live long enough to be the villian

FL(OW)ER: HELLO??????

Fukase: AEIUFHERIUHJEVRVKJRB

Fukase: PLEEEEAASEEE I CANTNTNTUENFIJKASM

zhiYEET: WELL I CAN SAY WITH CONFIDENCE THAT I WOULD NEVER SUPPORT NERU AFTER HEARING THAT STORY

pikkun-utatune: moral of the story; always be sure to remember that this friend group will go down in flames for you 

[ONE]: yeah on top of punching ppl i can steal my dad’s handgun

akuno-akuma: and i can bury the body <33

Kokoro<3: guys……

nyaaah: WENT FRO M  “awwh we are such good friends uwu owo <33”

nyaaah: to “I WILL ACTUALLY COMMIT FIRST DEGREE MANSLAUGHTER FOR YOU”

FL(OW)ER: i fear no man

FL(OW)ER: but those…… things

FL(OW)ER: they scare me

XinHua_pan: i love it here

zhiYEET: hell fucking yEAH

Kagayours: so what actually happened to neru

nyaaah: idk miki probably knows

nyaaah: but i think she got like. a week of detention

pikkun-utatune: well as long as miki is untouched, it’s fine by me

Fukase: as long as NERU suffers eternal damnation, it’s fine by me

nyaaah: PREACH

[💬] Matcha joins the ranks of the donkeys ((REAL, NOT CLICKBAIT‼️)) - 10:14