Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The battle today ended nothing like Nightmare thought it would, frankly he would have rather lost the battle AND the war than how it did. Want to know how the great battle between good and evil ended?

Awkward.

So fucking awkward.

It started out how any normal battle would, the Bad Sans started terrorizing a random AU that didn’t haven enough negativity and the Star Sans came to stop them only a few minutes after they started attacking, just like usual.

Error and Ink were each others main focus on just like always, Blue was currently fighting Dust, Horror and Killer and was doing a surprisingly good job at holding them off. Cross was mainly on the sidelines helping his teammates if one of them looked like they were getting too tired.

Fresh was also there which threw all of them off at first, he claimed that he wouldn’t get in the way or help either side cause he prefers not to be violent and that he was just here out of boredom but the Bad Sans knew better, they knew that he was worried for them and didn’t want any of them to get hurt.

Fresh wasn’t exactly on either side, he hung out with the Bad Sans more than he did with the Star Sans but Fresh, Blue and Dream were all good friends with each other. Both teams knew that Fresh wouldn’t spill secrets about the other team which was why both the Bad Sans and the Star Sans were fine with having him watch from the sidelines, as long as he didn’t get in the way.

That marked everyone down except for the twins, Nightmare and Dream.

Nightmare and Dream always took each other on, neither of them actually trying to hurt the other but they still had to fight because of the balance. They were both good actors and kept their brotherly relationship a secret from everyone else. 

Nightmare had told Dream a week ago during their weekly meet ups in their AU that he told Error about the balance and how they are forced to fight to keep it even, he promised that Error wouldn’t tell anyone.

Dream was shooting arrows at Nightmare as Nightmare tried to attack him with his tentacles, neither of them landing a hit on each other. (Not with the lack of effort) Neither sides were winning so far and It was all going normal until Dream paused attacking and asked one question that made everyone freeze.

“What’s sex?” 

Everyone instantly stopped fighting and looked towards the younger guardian, even Ink and Error had frozen in place, thinking if they had heard him correctly or if their mind was just messing with them.

Blue had so much discomfort on his face that Horror would have laughed if he also wasn’t so shocked, Dream looked at all of them worriedly, thinking he had said something bad.

“What? Is that a bad word?” Dream hesitantly asked, shuffling his feet from side to side as he looked at everyones shocked and uncomfortable expressions. Dream looked at his brother and cringed, feeling the negativity growing inside his brother.

Nightmare had somehow gone pale, he was staring at his brother like he had just said that he was an alcoholic, Fresh got into a thinking position before speaking.

“I think sex is when you’re eating something you enjoy broski, like candy bars or fry’s.” The colourful skeleton said sounding unsure of himself, everyone turned towards him, unsure if he was being serious or not.

“Wait both of you guys actually don’t know what sex is? No joke?” Dust asked, looking between Dream and Fresh.

Fresh looked towards him and tilted his head to the side. “Was I wrong?”

Killer dropped his weapons and started cackling while Blue could feel blush start to form on his face. “W-why would you ask such a question in the middle of a battle!” Blue cried out, Ink and Error looked at each other, unsure if they should let this play out or continue fighting before deciding on the first and turning all their attention to the conversation.

“W-well it’s not r-really my fault!” Dream stammered. “I was hanging out with Lust yesterday and he asked me if I ever had sex, I told him no and ask him what it was. He said that he would show me later today and that it was a super fun game that everyone plays but I couldn’t tell if he was lying or not.” Right when Dream finished speaking the negativity in the area increased so much that it made both Fresh and Dream shiver.

Nightmare. Looked. Livid.

“Oh! Can I come broski? Ya know I love playing games, is it a video game or a bored game?” Fresh asked much to everyones horror.

“I’m not sure, he just said that it was a type of game. i’m sure he wouldn’t mind you coming along, we can ask him if its a bored game or video game in UnderLust.” Dream said, Nightmare’s eye twitched and both sides screamed at the same time.

“NEITHER OF YOU ARE GOING!”

The Bad Sans were evil yeah, but not even they would let Fresh or their boss’s brother walk into something like that. It would reck their innocence. 

Error started glitching out like crazy, he was going to murder Lust once this ‘battle’ was over. based on the murderous look on Nightmares face, Error would guess that he had the same idea.

“H-how old even are you two?” Blue asked nervously, he was certain that Dream was over 400 years old, was he not…? He should know what sex is by now, his Papyrus told him when he turned 12!

Dream put his weapon away and started counting with his fingers much to everyones dismay, they looked too Fresh to see if he would answer the question.

When Fresh saw everyones eyes on his he raised his hands in Surender and shrugged.

“Well I’m 15, ain’t to sure about Dream here tho my dudes.” Fresh said, Fresh’s glasses changed from YOLO to 15.

“YOU’RE WHAT?” Everyone except Error yelled, Fresh jumped from the increase of noise and shrugged at them again.

“Don’t diggity see what’s the big problem brah’s, thought my bro woulda told y’all before I met ya.” Fresh said pointing finger guns at Error who rolled his eyes.

“I doesn’t actually matter if you think about it.” Error said matter-o-factually.

“H-he’s still in strips!” Cross yelled throwing his hands in the air, he looked at Nightmare and would have laughed at the look on his boss’s face if it wasn’t for the concerning news. Everyone thought Cross was the youngest being 22 but Fresh was 7 years younger than him!

“204!” Dream cheered, apparently just now remembering his own age, everyone except Fresh gaped at him, the rest of them clearly expecting him to be older.

“I thought you said Nightmare was in his 500’s!? Aren’t you two twins!?” Ink cried, the battle had officially stopped, there was no way they could go back to it now. Error and Fresh locked eyes, Fresh's glasses changed to WHAT as he tilted his head to the side. Error was a whole 10 years older than his brother and he sure as hell wasn't tell him about the birds and the bee's, or let anybody try and give his little brother the sex talk.

Dream crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Ink so hard Horror thought he might melt and turn into a puddle. “I was trapped in stone for 300 years. Did you actually think I aged during that whole time?” Dream said, almost sarcastically. Nightmare cringed and couldn’t help but look away, clearly this was not a topic either of them liked.

"So Nightmare's a whole 300 years older than you!?” Killer said, he had stopped laughing by now and was trying to put all this knew information together in his head. When Dream nodded his head and confirmed that yes, Nightmare was a whole 300 years older than him, Killer had to use Dust as support so he wouldn't fall if he passed out.

They stood there in awkward silence for a moment unsure what to do before Horror spoke.

“Are we going to continue the fight…?” Nobody answers his question at first hey all just stared at each other waiting for someone to speak up and make the decision. Fresh starts giggling at how awkward everyone was acting, his glasses changed from WHAT to start flashing AWKWARD, every letter a different colour.

“Funk it! We need a break anyway.” Ink said, putting his brush away and throwing his hands in the air, he walked up to Blue and shushed him when he was about to say something. Dream looked lost for a moment before groaning. Taking a good look at the Star Sans they all looked genuinely tired. They all had bags under their eye sockets and they were fighting slightly slower than usual.

“Dream, give me your phone, i will text Lust and let him know you’re not going.” When Ink saw that Dream was about to try to convince him otherwise he continued. “We can continue watching that Transformers movie we forgot to finish when he get back home deal?” The Bad Sans just stood there completely confused, the Star Sans were just going to let them take over the AU?

Dream looked at Fresh but his friend just shrugged at him, also having no idea why everyone was acting like this. He sighed and handed his phone to Ink, the negativity in this AU was starting to take a toll on him and he was starting to feel dizzy.

Turning his attention to the Bad Sans he saw that all of them had started leaving through different portals except Error and Nightmare. He grabbed his phone back when Ink handed it out for him to take.

“We may b-b-b-be evil but no w-w-way in bell would we even t-t-t-think about trying THAT.” Error said harshly, teleported beside Fresh and grabbed his arm before teleporting both of them away.

Ink and Nightmare look at each other, having a silent conversation before they both nodded their heads, Nightmare looked at Dream one last time before disappearing into the ground.

“What was that all about?” Dream pouted and put both of his hands on his waist, he looked between Ink and Blue and watched as flush started creeping up on Blues face.

“Blue? Are you feeling unwell? You’re looking awfully red.” Dream said, concern laced in his voice, he walked over to Blue and put his hand on his friends skull to feel his temperature. it was completely normal.

“N-no I’m fine Dream.” Blue insisted, his voice full of hidden anger, not at Dream, never at Dream, but at Lust. 

Dream sensed the negativity surrounding both of his friends and panicked, the best thing to do would be to get their minds off of whatever they are so upset about.

“C-can we go home and finish our movie?” Dream asked, sighing in relief when some of the anger left his friends. He guessed he was a little excited to watch Transformers but he really wanted to know why nobody would sewer his question. He decided it was best to never bring it up again if it brought his friends so much anger so he dropped the subject and made a portal that lead to home before walking through it, both of friends right behind him.

‘What will the council think?’ Dream thought as he walked towards the tv and started setting up the movie, he saw Blue and Ink whispering to each other in the corner of his eyes but didn’t comment on it.

The next day when Dream texted Lust to apologize for not coming over like he said he would Dream didn’t get an answer back, he ask Ink if he messed with his contacts when he gave him his phone but Ink denied it and quickly left the house minutes later, Blue had been acting clingy and made sure Dream didn’t leave the house all day.

When Dream texted Fresh and told him that Blue wouldn’t let him leave the house he was surprised when Fresh told him that Error was keeping him in Nightmares castle while everyone else was out. When Dream asked what they were doing Fresh said that he had no clue because they didn’t tell him.

The next day everyone was back to normal, Blue let Dream leave the house and almost instantly Dream texted Fresh asking him if he wanted to check on Lust. When Fresh agreed they were shocked to find out UnderLust had completely disappeared yesterday without a trace. Dream was beyond worried about what had happened to the AU but Fresh tried reassure him that it was probably nothing because if it was such a big deal the Star Sans would have known about it before it even happened.

Even though Fresh was just as worried and confused as him.

When Dream got home he told Ink and Blue about UnderLust disappearing and was more than surprised when they didn’t seem concerned noir did they give him an answer to what had happened to the AU. He quickly set up a meeting with his brother but Nightmare brushed it off and said that it was better if he and Fresh didn’t know.

That just fed Dreams and Fresh’s curiosity but no matter what they did or however many people they asked nobody even knew what UnderLust was when they brought it up, it was almost like the AU was never even there in the first place.

When Dream, Ink and Blue went to the council the following week Dream didn’t have a clue to what actually happened so he let Ink and Blue do most of the talking, well it was more like they were whispering to each other but whatever, it looked like Ink and Blue had won whatever conversation they had in the end. It seemed like UnderLust had disappeared out of thin air.

Weeks past, Dream and Fresh never found out what had happened to UnderLust, and neither the Bad Sans or Ink and Blue had any plans on telling them.

Chapter Text

“So… do you know why we’ve called you here?” Nightmare asked, looking at Fresh and Dream who had confusion written all over their faces. Error was beside him and looked so uncomfortable he felt bad for the younger.

It had officially been 1 months since the UnderLust incident, and both Error and Nightmare decided to give their younger brothers “The Talk”

“Um… to talk about the sudden disappearance of Underlust? There was no shift in the balance which worries me as to why and how Underlust mysteriously vanished.” Dream said, looking in between Error and Nightmare.

“Yeah broski! What happened was totally not cool.” Fresh said, his glasses going from YO_LO to UN_RAD as he rocked back and forth on the heels of his shoes.

“Hoo, b-b-boy.” Error mumbled, tapping his foot on the ground rapidly as he tried to look at his younger brother Fresh in the eyes. It was a bit hard since Fresh was wearing his glasses so he couldn’t actually see Fresh’s eyes.

“No, no. Dream do you remember a few weeks ago when you mentioned… sex?” Nightmare asked, trying to keep his voice light and carefree while internally he was thinking of how many ways this could go wrong.

Dream smiled at his brother and nodded his head, trying to ignore the strong wave of negativity that suddenly erupted from Nightmare. “Yeah! It’s the game Lust invited me to play!” He said with a childish grin.

Fresh nodded his head, flicking his fingers at the memory. “Oh yeah, bro we never actually learned how to play!” Fresh said to Dream before turning back to his brother and his friend (father figure) “Is that why you guys brought us here my dudes? To teach us how to play sex?” Fresh asked excitedly, his excitement only feedings Dreams.

Error never thought he could’ve regretted hearing something more in his entire life, for the second time in less than a month Nightmare had gone pale.

“No! No-! I mean- shoot.” Nightmare cussed under his breath and tried to compose himself. Error would have found this hilarious if his little brother wasn’t there.

“Uh… okay do you know where baby’s come from?” Ohhhh Nightmare was taking this approach, Error thought, this would be interesting.

“Oh! I always wanted to know where babies came from!” Dream gushed, clapping his hands excitedly and jumping up and down. Both Dream and Fresh looked like they were about to be told the biggest secret in the world.

“Babies…” Nightmare piped up after a moment of awkward silence. “Babies, babies, babies, erm…” He was 100% vamping. One of the oldest tricks in the book.

This was something Nightmare and Error didn’t understand, they kill people on a daily basis, raid houses, burn down villages, steal in broad daylight but neither of them could summon up the courage to tell their younger brothers what sex was?

“Okay so… when-“ Nightmare coughed and cleared his throat, not even daring to look at Dream or Fresh in the eyes. “When two people love each other very much they- they do this really special dance-“

“ITS A DANCING GAME! OH YAY! THESE ARE MY FAVOURITE!” Dream shouted, he was practically vibrating with joy, Fresh looked no better.

“Can you teach me how to dance Dream? I don’t know how…” Fresh hesitated, he was never good with asking for things.

“Of course! I can teach you how to do the special dance after Nightmare and Error teach me! Or maybe they can teach both of us!” Dream gasped with joy, his happy emotions mixed with Fresh’s was blocking out Errors and Nightmares horrific ones.

“Oh my g-g-god.” Error slapped a hand against his face, he now knew that instant regret was indeed a real thing because this was a mistake.

“There is n-n-no special dance, N-N-N-N-N-Nightmare was just m-m-messing w-with you t-t-t-t-two.” Error said firmly and he ignored Nightmares noise of protest. He was almost as old as the Guardian of Negativity so Nightmare couldn’t boss him around and tell him what to do.

Dream and Fresh faltered that there was no dance but they were still listening patently to what Nightmare and Error had to say which made the pressure much worse. The two older brother could feel sweat beading down their sculls.

“You e-e-e-e-ever heard o-of a s-s-stork?” Error asked instead and Nightmare sends him a glare that would make any other man crumble down and turn to dust on the spot. But Error just returned the look with just as much intensity, this was a mistake, there was no way in hell he was gonna ruin his littles brother innocence.

Fresh’s glasses changed to YE_S! and both he and Dream nodded their heads and shouted their agreements, it was almost comical how much they acted like children sometimes.

Well technically Fresh was still in stripes and Dream did miss out on years of his childhood because he was trapped in stone so technically he would also be a kid-

Nope. Not going down that road. No way in hell.

Nightmare growled and pushed Error behind him. “Ignore Error. When two people love each other a lot they go somewhere, usually a bedroom and they-“

“T-T-T-T-T-THEY CALL A STORK!” Error shouted, pushing past Nightmare and putting his acting lesions from Ink to good use.

“They… call a stork?” Dream mumbled, he looked just as confused as Fresh did. His glasses changed from YE_S! to WH_AT?

Error rapidly nodded his head, trying to ignore Nightmares cold glare that he could feel at the back of his head. “Y-Y-Yup.” He said seriously, panicking when Dream and Fresh looked skeptical.

“How would they call a stork? They’re animal’s aren’t they broski?” Fresh asked, tilting his head to the side, he could imagine a stork answering a phone and having a conversation with whoever’s on the other end.

“It’s a m-m-m-magical stork, n-not all of them are t-t-t-t-t-the same you see…” While Error started ranting about magical storks Nightmare looked at Fresh and Dream who actually looked like they were believing it!

Nightmare turned to looked at Error with a blank expression, the glitchy skeleton was getting absolutely nowhere and he was just straight up lying.

‘Fuck this.’ Nightmare thought to himself, grabbing Error but the hood of his jacket and pulling him backwards much to his surprise.

Nightmare saw the look Dream and Fresh sent him, confusion mixed with shock at the sudden action. Nightmare gave them all a wave before forming a portal back to his castle.

“You heard him, it’s a stork. That’s all you need to know.” He said before angrily shoving Error through the portal and then stepping in himself. Dream could feel the negativity radiating off his brother and he couldn’t help but shy back a bit.

Fresh and Dream watched as their brothers disappeared and the portal closed behind them, they looked at each other before shrugging and laying down on the grass.

“So…” Dream interpreted the silence after a moment. “…is it some type of animal game then?”

Fresh just shrugged, turning to Dream with ID_K on his glasses, he was never the best with emotions but he couldn’t understand why his and Dream’s brothers were acting so weird.

“Probably dog, we should tots ask someone else about it though, Ink or Blue?” Fresh asked, for some reason he suspected that if he asked any of the other Bad Sans their reaction would be the same as Nightmare’s and Error’s.

“So how did it go?” Cross asked from the only armchair in the living room as Error and Nightmare jumped through a portal. Neither skeleton spoke as Error walked towards the couch and face planted on it, letting out a loud groan of absolute misery as Nightmare glowered at Error.

Cross paused the show he was watching and looked at them with uncertainty, that was until Nightmare started swearing up a storm with words across had never even hard before and marched out of the room, Error didn’t even bother to move.

“Heh, who chickened out?” Cross laugh, setting the remote down and looking at Error who just let out a another loud, miserable groan in response.

He cringed, it sounded pretty bad so he could have guessed that it was Error who chickened out on telling Dream and Fresh, guess he now owes Horror 20 bucks. 

Stupid bet.