Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

-"Monsoon!! Go to bed already!!"-You yelled at him, since he was in front of the computer the whole damn day...again

-"Not now, baby girl. There's a guy on the internet that is wrong, and as a Discord moderator, I need to demonstrate how his memes are foolish"

You picked up your phone to look at the time. 2:43 AM, and he was still going. From what you could tell, there was a guy on Discord (with the username "J4ck Th3 R1pp3r") that disagreed with the server owner's ("AMERICA 4EVER") tastes in anime, and Monsoon had the job to make a huge ass discussion on what memes are considered right or wrong, and how some of them are part of our nature as humans. It didn't help that you couldn't sleep without him by your side. Yes, you were needy sometimes, but he would also blast nightcore music while playing his Among Us with the group

It really pissed you off how your boyfriend would spend most of his day on the damn internet, and when he wasn't on the computer he would be out there, slaying like a queen (both in his style and how he killed people for money). You understood that Monsoon was a busy man, but sometimes you wondered if the cyborg actually cared for your relationship since moments where he and you spent time together seemed like long, distant memories

-"Babe please, go to bed. Can you do this for your partner?"-You cried. You valued this relationship so much that it was surreal. He turned around after hearing you whimpering, seeing how tears started to escape your eyes. That went in like a knife to his heart

-"I'm...sorry"-Monsoon started-"I value my status as a member of the Winds of Destruction that sometimes I tend to forget the other aspects of life, such as my loving relationship. It is in my nature, deep within my psyche. This is how the memes shaped me..."

You turned around and tried to go to bed and torture your eyes into shutting. You didn't have time for monologues about memes, and hearing the confirmation that he put the work above anything else was already painful for you to hear, but then you felt a strong grip on your pulse. Turning back, you see that he got up from the chair and was using his magnetic power to use his right arm to hold you

-"...But Y/N, you have shown me the importance of love, how it's important to nurture the feeling, and how not taking care of it leads to a painful separation. That is why I'm going to join you in bed now, and not only that, but when we wake up, we're going to spend the rest of the day anyway you like it.

You were so happy right now. He reattached his arm into his body, and took your hand...

But then, a Discord notification sound echoed through the room, and it was that damn Jack guy again

"Your dick is probably small by how small is your brain"

Monsoon looked at you and gave an awkward smile, because he knew you were going to hate what he was about to do-"I promise you, baby girl, I'll just respond to this comment real quick, but once I'm done, I'm done for real"

You didn't give another fuck before kidnapping the cyborg's head and running into the room. After shutting the door with a kick, you yeeted yourself in bed, hiding under the blankets and holding the head tightly against your chest.

-"That wasn't a good idea..."-Monsoon tried to say

-"I don't care! We're going to sleep together for once and you're not going to spend any moment longer with that loser on the computer!!"-You yelled back

-"That's not what I was referring to..."-He said, before pieces of himself started to shoot through the door. You threw the head into the air by how spooked you got, with the pieces rebuilding themselves at high speed. Monsoon landed back to bed when he was completed-"I was referring to the Lorenzo force"

Before he could react, you hugged the cyborg very tightly

He was obviously stronger than your grasp, but ultimately decided to stay by your side. That was what he promised after all, and besides, you were right! The Cambodian man shouldn't worry with a loser on the internet, he had something 10 times better right beside him

Chapter Text

-"Hey gata, what if we made a barbecue this weekend?"-Sam asked

-"A barbecue? Sure, why not? We can invite some friends to make it more fun"

-"What about if I invited my friends from work? It is a bit overdue that you meet them"

You had to admit that you cringed a bit on the inside. Not to be mean or anything, but what you have heard from your boyfriend, they sound like the most dangerous and insane terrorists someone could ever meet, but you couldn't bring yourself to say no to Samuel after he was so happy with the idea. Besides, maybe it won't be so bad finally meeting these guys, you didn't have a lot of friends anyway, so more people can be fun

-"Sure thing Sammy"

-"Isso aí"-He celebrated-"Alrighty, I'm gonna make some phone calls, later you can tell me how many of your friends you invited so that I can buy the right amount of meat and beer"

You chuckled by how happy he seemed. You know how Sam tends to hate the new man he had become after joining Desperado, so you tried your best to have moments of calm and tranquility with him, so that both of you could enjoy life together. This barbecue was starting to look very bright...

...This barbecue is not looking very bright

So, to no one's surprise, inviting a group of very dangerous mercenaries isn't the best of ideas. Sure they were doing a great job of not killing anyone (But the bald cyborg entered by announcing that he had hit some white-haired ninja dude with his car on his way here), but goddamn they didn't shut the fuck up

Mistral was the more "sane" of the group, keeping to herself, but somewhat giving parts of her life that would make anyone's eyes jump in shock by how proud she would display her accomplishment of killing the "fuckers" that killed her family

Monsoon, on the other hand, was worse. Monologing (anime style) about memes, how they control us, how any other form of ideology is useless when compared to the nature of one's self, saying things like how the culture of Garlic Bread only continued because of the memes surrounding it, and how one can be manipulated into believing things through memes.

Now Sundowner wasn't to ramble on and on about himself, but goddamn he was 10x worse than any of them, talking about how we should give war a chance since it helped with the economy, just like the good ol' days after 9/11, and it was in our nature as humans to be violent

You prayed for your friend's sanity

While that shit-show was happening, you and Sam were handling the grill together, with the Brazilian man doing most of the cooking, and you chopping the goodies and serving them. It was being really nice spending time with your boyfriend

-"Hey Sammy!"-Sundowner exclaimed-"We're out of beer. Is there more?"

-"I believe there is in the garage. I'll go get it"-You said, placing a kiss on Sam's cheek before leaving.

Arriving there, you tried to flip on the lights, but they were faulty, so you decided to use your phone's flashlight. You looked for every corner, until you found the beers in their respective crate.

Suddenly, a noise emerged and broke the silence that once reigned. You quickly turned around saw that even tho a can was rolling, until taking a sudden stop, no one was there. You imagined it was your friends (or one of Sam's psycho friends) that were trying to prank you

-"Is someone there?"-You said, getting stressed by the lack of response-"This isn't funny, so whoever it is, ya better stop"

-"You forgot to say the magic word, amor"-Sam said right behind you. You yelled and threw a random punch, and also dropped the phone (so that the flashlight would shine on both of your figures). Luckily your boyfriend was quick to dodge it. Once you calmed down, he busted into laughter

-"You shit-head! I hate when you do this!!"-You say, punching in repetition his arm (in which he didn't dodge those cuz he knew he deserved them)-"What are you doing outside of the grill anyway?"

-"Oh, I came here to see if you needed any help"-He purred, obviously lying-"And besides, it's getting chaotic without you to endure those guys

-"It was your idea to invite those guys to our bbq"

-"...True, true"

Meanwhile! with "those guys"

The group was calmer when compared to the start, but now there was an awkward silence between the two groups. Monsoon and Mistral decided to talk about memes or some shit like that, leaving Sundowner to his own thoughts

-"Ummmm excuse me?"-One of your friends said to the cyborg from Alabama-"What is your line of work?"

Sundowner gave a sinister, evil laugh, with an equally evil grin-"I'm an honest warmonger that handles kids"

Jetstream Sam then threw you against the wall and picked your hands to pin them, leaving you to his mercy

-"S-Sammy?"-You asked by the sudden action of the Brazilian cyborg, which now was increasing your body temperature

-"Relax gata, I'm here now just for you. Let's do this quickly so that those bafoons don't notice our disappearance"

He placed a kiss against your lips, and by god that aroused you. It was obvious that you were both horny, so why delay the inevitable? Sam took off his apron (that said "Kiss this handsome chef ;)") and shirt, showing his well-defined abs and toned muscles. You followed by also removing your shirt. The kissing session restarted, with each kiss getting longer and wetter. You placed your hands on his pants, and once you opened the zipper...

-"Hey is everything alright here?"-Monsoon interrupted. You both looked at the Cambodian cyborg, turned red, then separated faster than two equal magnets suddenly coming in contact. Both of you couldn't look at anyone's face by how embarrassed yall were

-"W-What is it, M-Monsoon?!"-Sam asked, stuttering every word

-"It's nothing actually, it's just the meats are on fire...and we still don't have beer"

-"PUTA MERDA AS CARNES!!!"-Sam yelled. He didn't even bother to get dressed again before double jumping to the grill to save the goods. Leaving you shirtless with the other cyborg

-"So...you like Among Us?"-Monsoon asked, still unaware to what he interrupted

After Sam miracously saved the meats and the barbecue was over, you both said goodbye to your respective friends (and you promised your friends to pay for their therapy after meeting Sundowner). You and Sam sat down at the couch, exausted

-"Hell of a day, eh gata?"-The cyborg said

-"Y-Yeah"-You responded, still remembering how you both got caught in the act

-"Oh? Are you still embarrassed by what happened?"-He laughed

-"S-Shuddup! It's your fault for being so damn horny"

-"But you didn't say no, right?"

He got you good

-"I'll tell you what: How about we resume where we left off?"-Sam said, pulling you by the waist closer to him

-"R-Right now?"

-"Yeah baby. Unless you want Monsoon to find us out again"

-"Fuck that Among Us looking ass and fuck me now, Rodrigues"-You demanded, and Sam delivered

-"You're late...as usual"-Senator Armstrong said after emerging from his Metal Gear

-"Sorry dude, i got hit by a car on my way here"-Jack responded back

Chapter Text

It was quiet and normal at your house, until IT WASN'T!

Your front door was blasted into pieces by a Dwarf Gekko ball yeeting itself into it

-"I'm home"-Mistral announced weakly, because she didn't even have the forces to speak. Heck, she didn't even have the energies to stand up or walk, it was her backbag with arms that carried her all the way into your property

-"Welcome home babe"-You said from the kitchen-"Did you have a good day at work?"

-"Don't even get me started"-The arms carried her to the couch, and then ejected themselves to make the cyborg feel more comfortable. She stood still, closing her eyes and placing her right arm over her head

You felt bad for the pretty lady, and you knew exactly why. It was because of that damn Jack guy

Time and time again, he would confront Mistral at the oil rig, and time and time again he would lose and get his ass kicked, swearing Reveangence every time he retrieved (like an anime edgelord). At first, the cold wind of France wouldn't mind having an opponent, a mere toy, to freely crush with her several arms, but at one point it got boring and annoying to deal with the same guy over and over again at the same day of the week. That is why she hated Thursdays now

Well, you had enough to see your beloved feel so miserable! And you were quite prepared for this as the special dish you have been preparing for the occasion was now ready

You clapped your hands, and the curtains closed themselves, and as the lights on your house got dim, the candles lighted themselves up, creating a nice atmosphere. To top all of that, a nice and calm violin started to play. Mistral was rather surprised by the sudden change of lighting and mood. Technology never seemed to stop impressing.

You came out of the kitchen with a plate support, and after the French lady adjusted her posture, coming along with your weird plans, you placed the special dish in front of her: Viande de pot Avec des Pommes de Terre (or "Pot meat with potatoes" and yes I used google translator), and you were not done, as you were now behind her, massaging her shoulders. She (figurately) melted to the sheer relaxation that you were providing to her

-"Ohhh mon amour, everything is so great. You did all of this just for me?"-She asked, before taking another bite of the meat

-"Of course baby. I've noticed how you always returned home stressed every week because of that edge lord, so I decided to give you...a "relaxation day"-You affirmed-"I would give you anything just to make you happy"

-"Oh bébé, you shouldn't have"-Mistral said, continuing to eat her food

When she finished the food, you took the plate and cutlery away, quickly washing everything you used to make the dish

-"Is everything alright? You seem like you're putting a lot of work just for me"-Mistral said, noticing your hard work and feeling kinda bad for making you do all of this just for her

-"Don't ya worry about me. Today is just about you"-You reaffirmed

-"If that's the case, then I ask for you to take a break and give me a hug"-She ordered, quickly noticing a loophole. 

Well, she caught you by your own rules, so you just put everything away and sat beside her on the couch, joining in to cuddle with her. It was nice, to stay by her side and feel her warm body, and she felt the same towards you. She was so happy for dating you, always making her feel like a queen

-"So, what else can I do for you?"-You asked, anxious to fulfill the next request

-"Hmmm how about something that makes you feel good?"-Mistral said, and you couldn't help but get some goosebumps, imagining what she meant by that

-"Oh love, I already said that you don't need to worry about me"

-"But this is something that I want. You said yourself that you would give me anything to make me happy, and now...I want your precious butt on the bed. Now"

You sparked up. You ran upstairs to your room and got fully naked, and soon after, Mistral entered, semi-naked, but rocking a strap-on

-"Ya can dig at any moment"-You said, happily

-"I'm gonna enjoy this moment a lot"

And so, Mistral pegged you

-"I'm here to deliver justice to the likes of...are you even listening?"-Jack asked, once he noticed his adversary seemed to have her head in the clouds

-"...Oh pardon, I simply don't care anymore. Just let's get this over with"-Mistral responded back-"I have someone very special waiting for me home"

She was happy the whole time as she was kicking Jack's ass, because now Thursdays were the days of "Relaxation day", which quickly became her favorite day of the week

Chapter Text

It was a boring day at the house, with all of the cyborgs doing random activities to pass the time. Monsoon and Sam were playing Call of Duty on their XBOX, Mistral was watching some videos about how to train your small pet (her small pet being the dwarf geckos), and Sundowner was cleaning his cleavers, "bloodlust". That's when you walk into the room, looking at the clock on the wall. It was getting rather late, and the group still didn't eat

-"Is somebody here hungry aside from me?"-You asked

-"Funny you mentioned, because I'm hungry too"-Sam added

-"I'm not that hungry, but I'm willing to follow the memes of eating due to the rotation of the planet"-Monsoon said

-"Can you stop being weird for a minute?"-Mistral said-"But yeah, I wouldn't mind eating"

-"Me too!"-Sundowner said

-"Well, that's rich, because somebody didn't wash the dishes"-You stated-"Whose turn is it?"

-"That would be Sundowner"-The French woman responded

-"Oh please. I'm not in the mood. I got better things to do"

-"All you do all day is break the Geneva convention"-Monsoon said

-"Actually I think everybody here broke the Geneva convention in one way"-Sam added-"But yeah dude. Just wash the dishes so that we can eat something"

-"I got a better idea"-You interrupted-"How about I get us some McDonalds?"

That clearly seemed to cheer the room

-"Yeah good, I like that"-Sam said-"I want a Big Mac, with fries and a medium coke"

-"I want the Travis Scott Borber, with lean and fries"-Monsoon said

-"I think they stopped serving that after that event incident"-You warned-"Also they don't sell drugs, ya fecking meme lord"

-"Well, then ask the McDonald's employees to build a burger to be just like the Travis Scott one. The look on their faces upon realizing what they've built is gonna be hilarious"

-"I just want a quarter pounder"-Mistral added

-"Heck yeah! That's what I'm talking about. I want the (at this point I got lazy of writing burger names, so since this is a "Sundowner x Reader" story, he asked for the same as you)

-"Ok then, gang. Let's go in the car"

Everybody started to follow you, until they realized that Sundowner was coming too. That seemed to change the mood of the room

-"Actually I just remembered that I need to clean my blade"-Jetstream Sam said

-"I don't like Sundowner"-Mistral said, very bluntly

-"M E M E S"-Monsoon...was being Monsoon

You took out a deep sight. That means it was just you and Sundowner then. You and the cyborg from Alabama continued to the car

The drive was mostly quiet, with the radio doing most of the singing. That was until Sundowner started to talk

-"Y/N, thanks for going with me even after the other guys bailed out"

-"Don't worry about it, somebody needed to bring food home, and I'm not bringing all that stuff alone"

-"Ya know, I'm not to get sentimental over emotional bullshit stuff...but...I don't know...I wished the others liked me more"

-"You shouldn't really care for what they think. They can be mean sometimes [Altho everybody is mean in some way or other]"

-"I know. But even at work, everybody seems to avoid me. Why is that?"

-"[Because you're a violent warlord that kidnaps kids?] It's because they're just seeing the worst of you. I'm sure that if you showed your best self, you would be very liked"

-"But I show my real self! When I'm chopping down my enemies into pieces, that is"

-"[Hoo boy]"

Before you both could realize it, you were at the McDonald's drive-in, with a file of cars in the way, but the heart to heart talk continued

-"I'm not ashamed of myself or what I do, but I tend to think about what would be like if I were different, if I didn't end up as how I am today, If-

-"Welcome to McDonald's, what would be your order?"-The voice (that was Raiden) behind the intercom asked, and you repeated everybody's order, then continued to follow the line of cars

-"Hey sorry about that, what were you saying?"-You asked

-"...If people actually came to my birthday"

-"...Ya know, people also didn't come to my birthday when I was young. It sure stinks, but you learn to forget these people that didn't even want something with you"

That last line seemed to brighten Sundowner's day. You finally retrieved everybody's orders, and after checking, you drove off back home

Once you and Sundowner arrived, you could see through the window what everybody was doing, but before you could take the bags, the cyborg had pulled you for a hug

-"Thank you, Y/N. I'm gonna pay you back for what you said"

-"...Sure"-You said, and then, continued to what you were originally doing, now asking what Sundowner could be planning

-"Everybody on World Marshal, today is (your birthday date)! You guys better say congratulations to Y/N, or else you're gonna get chopped and fired. And yes, I do mean I'm gonna kill you first and then boot you out of this company"-That was Sundowner, saying through the speakers within World Marshall

That was a little embarrassing to say, and it only went downhill as Sundowner stopped all company activities just to throw a party, with music, dance, and various party activities. It was unsure who was more confused by all of this, you or the workers, but hey, free day you suppose. But you couldn't help but smile, appreciating everything Sundowner was doing just for you. Yeah he can be cruel and mean, but at least he is a good friend
You invited Sundowner to participate in the "Hit the Mexican Jack The Ripper", with now both of you laughing and using plastic versions of "bloodlust" to hit the pinãta, that bursted with red candy once broken
Heck, you both blew the cake's candles together. Yall didn't have the same age (I suppose), but it was your gesture to celebrate his birthday too, to show that you're gonna be beside him from now on

Chapter Text

-"Hello, welcome to Mcdonald's. What would be your order?"-Jack asked you

-"I would like a Quarter Pounder"-You responded

-"Very well. Just the burger or the whole meal?"

-"Ummm, well...let me check"-You said. Checking your pockets, you pulled out a mini-version of:

Jetstream Sam

-"Hehehe, having some problem with the order?"-He joked

-"Sam, shut up. I need your help on this"

-"Hmm, now that is a difficult choice. Are you going to fight someone later in an epic sword duel?

-"I need to go to my friend's place to do a school project this week"

-"Ah, I see. Then get the fries. You're gonna need the energies for the upcoming battles"

-"The only upcoming battle I have is against my teacher for a good grade on my project"

-"Yeah, sure. Show them your dance moves"

-"If you say so"

Then, one week passed. After doing your presentation, you pulled out the sickest Fortnite dance moves (with "Sexy Fish" playing in the background). JetStream Sam, that was hiding inside your backbag, face-slapped himself. That wasn't what he meant with "dance", and now you were dancing with a big ass sword (you were very confused when Sam gave you that for "dancing") 

Monsoon

-"Well, well, well. It would seem like you're stuck in a predicament, a consequence caused by not being able to think for yourself, but by the memes passed on by your stomach. It's nature, the eating cycle of the big city. The memes of your ancestors, having to hunt your own meal, quickly changed and forgotten by the food of easy access, a clear sign of the memes of convenience replacing the memes of doing something yourself. Some may say that this makes us weak when having to face an actual harsh environment and your only option is to hunt, but ask yourself when you would have to face such conditions? That's just people thinking they know shit, the same people that would die in the first hour within the woods."

-"...Are you done? Are you gonna help me or not?"

-"Yeah sure, get the fries. Ask for extra small ones cuz I also want some"

You let out a deep sigh-"Ok buddy"

Mistral

-Oh, is mon amour having some trouble choosing what to eat?"

-"Yeah, basically"

-"Well, I recommend NOT getting the fries. You need to stay fit to crush your fuckers, one by one, like domino"

-"I don't know Mistral. I have people that I dislike, but I'm not really planning on destroying them"

-"Non-sense. Killing your enemies is really good. Now just get the burger, then after we're gonna plant a bomb on the house of that bitch that owns you 10 bucks"

-"Geez, Mistral. That sounds very metal"

-"But you do want your 10 bucks back, right?"

-"...You have a point. Sure, let's go"

Sundowner

-"I say we take McDonald's by force!"

-"That's not what I need right now"

-"Bullshit! Everybody knows that wanting to own a massive chain of fast-food restaurants is everybody's dream. So why deny it?"

-"That's not my dream"

Before you could protest, Sundowner took your massive hand, and lead you outside, dialing on his tiny phone-"Don't worry Y/N, I know the right calls to make"

And surely, after some weeks, you were now the owner of McDonald's. How did Sundowner do it was a total mystery, and now you had more money than you could think on how to spend. Also, you still had no idea if you should have asked for fries or not

...Fuck! You didn't get the burger. Goddamnit Sundowner!

Khamsin (yup, that is the special cameo. Aka: The closest thing yall are gonna get to a reader x Khamsin cuz I don't really like his character)

-"So, what should I do?"

-"You better pack some fries, ya fucking mutt, cuz we need to invade Pakistan and bring the American freedom onto them"

-"Why am I not surprised?"

-"Why the fuck do you have a tiny person in your pocket?"-Raiden asked

-"Why the fuck are you working on a Mcdonald's?!"-You retaliated

-"I need to pay for my son's colleague, and they don't really accept "saving a shit-ton of kids from having their organs harvested and killing a Senator" as a form of payment

-"Oh...good luck then"

Chapter Text

-"And now! The WINDS OF DESTRUCTION!!!"

The voice announced, and the public roared with excitement, but then quickly quieted down once the curtains were opened. It started with a pitch-black stage, until a guitar solo started to emerge out of the void, then a green light shined right on the culprit, Jetstream Sam

Then, a purple light shined on Mistral, that followed with the bass

Then a Dark Blue on Monsoon, with an electronic piano

And to finish, a red light on Sundowner, playing the drums

And the public went back to their wild reactions, ecstatics for the band's performance, and one of these people were you

A long-time fan of the Winds of Destruction, you were so glad to finally catch one of the band's live performances. It was hard as feck getting the tickets, but you managed it, and now you were watching your favorite band play live right in front of your eyes. They were playing all the fan's favorites in order, and everybody loved to sing along to their songs, and that, of course, included you too

It started with a huge blast by them playing Rules of Nature. Sure it was their most "least good" music in the track, but what made it badass was how a massive robot came into the stage, and JetStream Sam (using some clearly visible string) double jumped into the air and cut the thing in half with his guitar, "Murasama"

The rest continued with not-so-major visual performances, except for whenever the WOD would play their theme, the respective band member would assume the microphone and the winds that corresponded with said band member would breeze on the public. All of them except Sam

For some reason, Sam's "theme song" wasn't revealed yet, and no one in the public knew why. Whenever the press asked the recording studio why, the owner of the studio would report that it was Rodrigue's decision and that he needed more time. But hopefully, after such a long time, he would finally reveal his theme music

So when Monsoon finished his sick guitar solo and frenetic sound effect, everything went quiet and dark. The public was murmuring between themselves, hyping themselves, hoping that finally, FINALLY, they would get to hear what Sam was making after all this time.

But then...They started playing The Hot Wind is Blowing.

That made everybody really confused. Sure that after...the incident with Khamsin, the band would play this track to pay respects, but they usually played that at first, so it made everybody worry (at least the song is also good too)

When the song ended, the stage went dark again, but this time, there wasn't a surprise, it was over, but no one wanted to accept it. The public started to chant, exclaiming Sam's name. The longer the band made the fans wait, the wilder their chanting would get, until Sam reappeared again, with a single normal light upon him. He slowly reached for the microphone. The public went quiet, their ears full of expectations

-"...I-I'm sorry"-Sam said-"It's not ready yet. My sincerest apologies. The show is over now"

And then, Sam let go of the microphone, and looked around, absorbing every face of disappointment into himself. When he landed his glance for what you could swear was at you, he turned around and left, ashamed.
Nobody was exactly sure how to react. Some were sad, others were angry, and you were confused. Happy to see the band, but sad to see how they were struggling

Your feelings of confusion about what to feel lingered on as you left the concert, until you spotted a sale stand that got your attention. Getting closer, you analyzed the products and saw that it was all WOD merchandise. You checked each one thoroughly, as you had so much money to spend. You saw something that really got your attention: Mini-figures. Small figurines of each band member. You picked up your favorite, Jetstream Sam, and decided that this was good finance.

You left the stand, happy with the "pocket Sam" you just got, and knew exactly where to put him (...in your bag's zipper slider, not in a jar)

-"Wwwwwwwhat is up Motherfuckers?! It's ya boi, Jack The Ripper, and hoo boy today's video is a juicy one"-Raiden announced in his youtube video, with his usual energetic voice-"So for what most of you know, the day before yesterday, I went to see the Winds of Destruction live on Denver, and let me tell ya, it wasn't very good. Even I can't believe that I'm associating that band with the word "not very good", but it's the sad truth"

BladeWolf used a soundboard to play the boo-womp sound effect

-"The band has seen a massive drop when they haven't released anything new for such a long time"-The Liberian man continued-"All of that because the guitarist, JetStream Sam, didn't finish his theme song yet. He sure takes his sweet time to plan it, but I think the sun is gonna explode before he can even finish it"

BladeWolf played a toilet flush sound effect

-"(Dude, that was perfect) Anywho! The only thing that saved the concert was the visuals, but aside from the giant robot, it wasn't a big deal. The only thing that was a big deal was when I caught a cold after not bringing my coat to listen to Mistral's theme, aka the cold wind of France. I could smell the coldness of the cheese and wine"

-"Raiden, you're a cyborg, how the heck do you even get a cold?"-The dog interrupted-"Also you can't smell the temperature, only feel it, as it cannot hold smells such as the ones you described"

-"...Dude, don't cut my flow. Anywho, I catch yall later on my next music video, where I'll be talking about Kanye West"

Then the video started to pass the outro song, which was Raiden himself singing "It has to be this way", which is a song he wrote himself to impress the WOD (which he failed to do so since he was very shit at singing)

Armstrong grew angrier the more seconds the video rolled on, to the point he crushed the laptop with one punch. That scared every Wind of Destruction in the room

-"...Are you ok?"-Monsoon asked

-"How the FUCK do you think I feel after that fiasco at the concert?!?!"

-"I was referring to your hand"-The Cambodian said, and Mistral elbowed him, since it wasn't the time for cheeky comments

-"What the fuck!"-Armstrong sat down at his office chair, taking long deep breaths to calm himself down, but the memory of Raiden provoking their performance would only re-kindle that anger-"Even after I blew the president off to get the visual design of that Metal Gear, you guys still blew it off!!"

-"Excuse me, what?"-Sundowner asked, in disbelief at what he just heard

-"I'm saying you guys flopped like fish, and I'm the fucking fisherman that needs to reel your asses back to land so that ya can't drown!"

-"...I think you're logic is a little flawed"-Monsoon said-"It's against the fish nature to go on land"

-"I'M JUST SO FUCKING ANGRY I CAN'T EVEN THINK OF A ANALOGY!!!

-"Look sir"-Sam cut himself in the conversation-"It's my fault. So don't discount all your anger in my band members"

-"He's right!"-Sundowner said

-"Yeah you idiot, I know that!! Sam, where is the fucking music?!"

-"...It's just, not ready"

Armstrong (somehow) managed to calm himself down-"Look Sam, I understand that your father was a big shot in Brazil, but if you want to live to his expectations, then you need to rework yourself into how we do here in America"

-"I understand sir, I just need a little more time"

-"It's always a little more time, enough with the fucking time! We need something now! Or else the band is gonna sink down"

-"...I understand..."

-"Good. Now get the fuck out of my office or else I'm gonna turn you bucket heads into toasters"

With that, the band left Armstrong's office

-["Merda. What to do now?"]-Sam thought to himself

Sundowner let out a laugh

-"What's so funny about our situation?"-Monsoon asked

-"Nothing, but it's just I might have a solution to our problems"

-"Really? What would that be?"-Mistral asked-"And it's better to not be anything illegal because you still have the law on your ass"

-"Look, I already attended court for when I assaulted that store"

-"And proceed to hit a guy...after stealing a car"-Sam added

-"But trust me guys, this is going to be genius. Follow me"

And so, the group followed the bald cyborg into their personal lounge. The group sat down on the sofa while Sundowner searched through his stuff before pulling out a tablet, and he screen-shared the video on their tv. It was a recording of their last concert, but it was recording all of the fans on stage

-"What is this?"-Sam asked

-"This, my friends, is my latest invention. So ya know how everybody loves to sing along to our songs? Well, I installed a system that allows to record and listen to their singing voices, and then judge how well (or shit) they are at singing"

-"That is very impressive"-Monsoon confessed-"But tell me, how is this gonna save the band?"

-"Simple, actually. I will deduce who in the audience has the best voice and recruit them to our band"

-"A fifth Wind of Destruction?! That does sound like non-sense"-Mistral said-"Let's not jump to stupid conclusions, we can still improve ourselves and SAM can RELEASE his STUPID SONG!"

-"Don't be like that, M. Think about all the good stuffs a fifth member could do for us. Heck, it might be what Sam needs"

-"Eh, I doubt it"-Sam said-"But I'm not against the idea"

-"I just wonder what Armstrong would think of this"

-"Don't worry about it, I already asked him. He said it is a-ok, as long they are useful"-Sundowner said, proceeding to press some buttons on his tablet, and it mirrored the system analyzing every face in the crowd, replaying the moments they would sing to draw a conclusion. It took very long to analyze (since it was a lot of people) that all of the Winds of Destruction left the room, except for Sundowner.

After a long while, it finally locked on someone that showed good results, and Sundowner laughed (menacingly) when he saw who he should go after

-"There you are, Y/N!"-Boris, your boss, exclaimed-"You're late for work! Go put on the cat-maid outfit now!!"

And then you went to the locker room to change for your job. You happened to work in the "Maverick Cat-Maid Cafe", where, as the name said, was a cafe with cat-maids. The workers were you, Kevin, Doktor and Courtney, with Boris being the manager of said place (sometimes Raiden would come too, but he was a youtuber most of the time, only coming to cover for his friends). Today was going to be a long shift, and you were already pretty drained from the last concert that went on too late at night. Speaking of which, you were still pretty shocked by that end, you couldn't help but feel bad for Samuel. Sure that was because you thought he had looked back at you, but the pitty was still there.

-"Just to remind you that you have cleaning duty today"-Boris said once he saw you again, and you groaned at the message

You need your Winds of Destruction playlist, they were the right beat to help you endure boring and mundane activities. You searched through your pockets and you felt your phone missing. You remembered that you left it plugged in your car

Returning to your car, you opened the door and searched for your phone. Once you found it, you decided to take a breath, a long sigh to encapsulate all of your pain for the upcoming job

That until you noticed a black figure moving through your rearview

Before you could react to it, a black sack covered your view. You tried to fight it, but something inside of the bag made your head feel light. It didn't take long for you to pass out

The black figure got out of the car, only to get back in again, putting you on the front passager seat. The figure took off the mask to reveal himself as...Sundowner (...Top 10 most obvious reveals)

-"Welcome to the band"-He said, before driving off to the studio

You slowly opened your eyes, recovering your vision and memories. You tried to move, but you were tied to a chair. You struggled to no avail. Analyzing your surroundings, everything was pitch black, with the exception of the giant spotlight that shined on you, but there was a figure in front of it. The sight of whoever's figure that was surged you to try to fight against the ropes again

-"It's useless. Try all you want, it won't matter"-The figure said

-"Who are you? Where am I? Was I kidnapped?"

-Easy now. You aren't being sold to One Direction. I just wanted to bring in our savior angel"

-"What the heck are you talking about?"

-"Well, I..."-The figure continued to talk, until the door was opened and the lights were switched on. It lit all the room up, and now you could see that the face of your kidnapper was the drum player from your favorite band

-"...What's going on here?"-Monsoon asked, after finishing analyzing what was happening in the room

-"Uhhh...well...ya see"-Sundowner struggled to say something

-"HE KIDNAPPED ME!"-You yelled to the other cyborg

-"Ok, I wouldn't say. I would describe it more as I forcefully invited you into our lair for well-minded intentions"

-"Basically a kidnapping"-Monsoon responded

-"I DIDN'T KIDNAPPED THEM!!"

-"What is going on!"-Samuel walked into the room after hearing the commotion that was happening, but was shocked when he locked eyes with you again-"Sundowner, I cannot believe you kidnapped a cat-maid!!"

-"Sam"-The Cambodian man said, before removing your cat ears tiara and unclipping your fake tail from your back

-"...I cannot believe you kidnapped a maid!!"

-"Sam"-Monsoon now ripped your maid outfit off (but luckily you were wearing casual clothes underneath)

-"...I cannot believe you kidnapped a human!"

-"Sam"-Monsoon grabbed your skin, but Mistral (that appeared out of nowhere) slapped his hand away from you

-"What the fuck is happening here?"-She asked

-"Sundowner kidnapped this person"-Sam said, and the French lady turned to the man from Alabama with fury in her eyes

-"Like I said, I didn't kidnap them. I just brought a new band member without them knowing they were accepted for such a job"

-"Wait what?"-Everybody (including you) said in unison

-"Are you saying THIS is the one?!"-Mistral asked with disbelief and anger

-"They seem pretty average"-Monsoon added

-"Well, they did score well in my invention's test, so undoubtedly they are fit for the job"

-"Can somebody explain what the feck is going on?"-You asked, still tied to the chair

Sam finally noticed this last detail and went to untie you-"Sorry for everything. My friend had a crazy invention, and you were unlucky enough to be selected"

You both stared at each other for some moment, you and the rockstar memorizing each other's eye color. Once you came back to reality, you blushed as you got up from the chair

-"Aww come on. It took me a lot of hard work to bring them here"-Sundowner said

-"Please tell me nobody saw you at least"-Mistral said

-"Hmmm...there is one guy..."

[Flashback]

Sundowner parked your car in the parking lot. He took the keys out and went to take your "still passed out" body. He put you on his shoulders and went to the elevator. 

Getting inside, he pressed the highest floor. The elevator was slow and calming. The cyborg man hated that, he liked heavy songs that allowed you to let your inner violent side out (It's a side everybody has, according to him)

Suddenly the elevator stopped, and the doors swung open to reveal a normal dude on the other side. He took his eyes out of his phone and faced the interior, only to be terrified of what was on Sundowner's shoulders.

Now it was an awkward silence between the horrified man and the tall cyborg. Sundowner was now on the floor he wanted to be in, so he just said goodbye and left, leaving the man perturbed

[End of flashback]

Mistral was now strangling Sundowner with her many arms

-"...I wonder how Armstrong would feel about this"-Monsoon asked himself, and when you were almost leaving the room, you were blocked by a tall figure, being that the director of the studio himself

-"...So, you are the asset that Sundowner told me about"-Steven asked, locking his judgemental eyes at your small figure (cuz that man made anybody small by comparison)

-"When did you get the chance to talk with Armstrong about it?"-Mistral asked the cyborg she was still strangling

-"Well..."

[Flashback]

Sundowner was still carrying you on his shoulders, until he spotted Armstrong in the kitchen, making a really big omelet (weirdly enough, he wasn't wearing a shirt, only a cute pink apron)

-"Hey boss. Check who I brought in"-Sundowner started-"I believe they can save our band"

-"Yeah sure"-Armstrong said, without taking his eyes off the eggs he was cracking-"I'm busy right now, so I'll interview them later"

[Flashback]

Armstrong took a good look at you, unimpressed by what he was seeing, but he knew better to judge a book by the cover, as talent can surge out of anybody. He reached from the interior of his suit to pull out a clipboard, that had a contract on it

-"Sign here, here, and here"-He said, as he handled you a pen and pointed to the blank spots for you to sign

You tried to read the contract, but he yelled at you to hurry up. Afraid of being squished like a bug, you signed everything

-"Welcome aboard, kid"

-"Wait"-Monsoon interrupted-"We barely know them, how do we know that they're suited for the job?"

-"Look, this chapter is getting pretty long, so let's wrap things up and leave to the next chapter"-Armstrong said, before running to the camera to "forcefully shut it down" (aka he punched the motherfecking camera)

Chapter Text

You were in the living room, watching tv in Mistral's house. That was when your girlfriend came into the same room as you very cheerfully

-"Oh my dear precious Y/N. Wanna go for a walk?"-She asked after giving a big kiss on your forehead

-"Yeah sure. Let's go"-You answered, and then Mistral proceeded to grab your whole body with one hand and placed you inside her purse. She then went to a mirror to check how you both looked. You were poking your head out of the bag

-"My little pogchamp"-The French lady reaffirmed while tickling your cheek

And so, you and Mistral left the house

It was nice whenever the lady took you for a walk (even tho most of the time you were inside the bag, since you're so short you could easily get lost and stepped on). You liked how the purse shake with every step she took, appreciating the view while you relaxed in the bag. 

Then, a white-haired edgy af guy approached you, since his "small pitbull" started to stare curiously at you

-"Hey, cute dog. What breed is it?"-Raiden asked

-"Don't call my lover a dog"-Mistral lashed back, clearly offended by his question.

That got the man confused, so when he looked better at you, he realized it was a human head poking out, and how you responded by showing your tongue, Raiden got disturbed since it was a REAL LIVING tiny human. He then turned around and left

-["I-I'm gonna leave now. Play some good ol' Garry's Mod"]-He thought

These types of interactions were quite common whenever Mistral would carry you in her bag, people thinking it's a cute pet before realizing it's an actual tiny human and getting scared off. You felt self-conscious whenever this happen, but your girlfriend would always comfort you, saying that she loved you no matter the size while giving a small peck on your cheek

Getting back to the walk, you suddenly felt something vibrate in her bag. You picked up her phone and saw it was Monsoon calling. You handled the phone to the French lady

-"What is it? I'm busy"-She said, her chirpy voice quickly changing to a cold and annoyed one (after all, her special moment with you got interrupted)

-"Hello fellow female colleague"-The Cambodian started-"I regret to inform you that Armstrong has called us to a special meeting"

-"My god, what does he want now?"

-"He's probably gonna ask what war crime we can commit this week. That is all"

When she handled her phone for you to store, Mistral gave her purse a few playful swings, then proceeded to go to World Marshall, while also taking you along

Arriving at the building and at her assigned cubicle, she placed her bag on the desk, and you hopped out of it

-"Alright my love, I need to attend a meeting, but I'll be back really soon"-She said when giving you a big smooch-"Whos my little pogchamp?"

-"Aww man, it's me"-You said, and then she leaned closer so that you could repeatedly kiss her cheek with your small lips, with Mistral giggling by your kisses

There was a soldier passing by, but he stopped to see you kissing Mistral, and he realized he didn't drink enough coffee for this, so he did a U-turn and left

The French lady then placed a pack of crackers by your side, and gave you another kiss before leaving

You started to nibble on a cracker, before a tall shadow figure loomed over you...

-"Hey I'm here"-Mistral announced with her usual monotone voice

-"Oh good"-Armstrong started-"Anyway, I called you guys here because we need to start a conflict in Africa, so I was thinking of sending a huge fucking robot there to shake things up, while you guys kill some innocent civilians and make sure to assassinate the president N'nami"

-"Called it"-Monsoon responded while leaning toward the French woman by his side 

-"What did you say you little fuck?"

-"Nothing"

-"Say, where is Sundowner?"-Sam asked, noticing the absence of the really tall cyborg-"He's the one that would be thrilled to commit war crimes"

-"Oh yeah, he noticed me in advance that he was going to work on a size-related project, something about getting the chance to date tall people"

-"Heh, good luck to him. He's so tall that the only way he's gonna find someone taller than him is if he shrank himself by using someone's short person energy"

Mistral eyes basically jumped out-"Gentlemans, I must leave"

You knocked aggressively against the glass prison that surrounded you

-"Try all you want, little fella. The jar man said that this shit is really resistant"-Sundowner said, placing the jar you were stuck at in a weird machine

-"Let me out, you bald fuck!"

-"Now now, no need to get angry. I just need your help with something"

-"And what would it be?"

-"You see...I hate when you and Mistral keep cuddling and kissing publically around the office because it reminds me of something I'll never have..."

-"What, a lover on your dick?"-You joked, and that seemed to piss him off, because he started to shake the jar, bouncing you up and down and to the sides

-"Very funny, but no. What I'll never have is dating someone taller than me. Have you ever thought about what it's like to be tall?"

-"Kinda"

-"Well, I'll tell you this much, it's not fun as a bottom (*boom vine sound effect*). At every club I go to, all the bottoms run off because I'm scary tall, and all the tops don't bother with me because they like to be the bigger man in the relationship, and I'm referring to literally being the taller one. It's so painfully"

-"...What the fuck?"

-"Well, those days are over with my newest invention! The shrink-a-tron! By absorbing your short person energy, I'll shrink myself a few inches so that all the bitches in the club can start dating a short king, and that being me"

-"Am I the only one that thinks this is getting ridiculous?"

-"...No. Unfortunately for you, the process will kill you off, sorry, nothing personal of course"

-"Sundowner, you don't need to do this!"-You pleaded

-"Oh yeah I do, and I WILL!!"

-"No I mean, you can be a power bottom"

-"...Whats that?"

-"It's when you're a bottom that keeps giving orders on how you like to be handled"

-"...Is that real?"-Sundowner pulled out a phone and googled it, quickly finding the results-"Huh, how I never heard of it?"

-"Eh, I don't know. Now could you please let me out of the jar?"

The cyborg from Alabama then opened the jar, letting you use his hand as a platform

-"I'm sorry little fella. I didn't know that there was an alternative route"

-"It's ok"

-"Now, I can be a new man, a new power bottom"

Suddenly, the doors for the secret room exploded, with Mistral being the one that kicked them so hard, as she was pissed as fuck. She slowly stepped towards him-"Give BACK MY SHORT LOVER!!!"

-"A-Ah, Mistral! Look, there was a misunderstanding, I thought I needed the little fella, but I have a long life ahead of myself to become a power bottom"-Sundowner said

-"L + ratio + don't care + didn't ask + +Bozo + You are dead"-Mistral said, before punching through Sundowner's guts, with the impact making you fall, but she quickly caught you with her other hand. When the French lady retreated her punch back, the tall cyborg man fell on the floor dead-"Are you ok, my little pogchamp?"

-"Yeah, I sure am"-You reassured, then Mistral proceeded to shower you with kisses

-"Hey I heard some commotion here, so what is popping Oh my, Sundowner is dead!"-Monsoon said-"This will affect fishing season greatly, as he was a superb fisherman"

-"Rip Jeff Bozos"-Sam said when he came to the room

Chapter Text

It was another night like usual. You and your boyfriend, Monsoon, were leaving the cinema from another "Morbing session" (it was the 4th Morbillion re-watch)

-"Morbtacular!"-Monsoon cheered-"That scene of Doctor Michael Morbius saying "It's Morbing Time!" always gives me the chills!"

-"Y-Yeah, great movie"-You responded, since truth be told (and may Morbius forgive your poor sinner soul) but you weren't paying much attention to these Morbius re-watches after the second one.

-"I can feel myself become more...full of life with each re-watch"

-"That's cute"-You said, just like the other 3.9 Morbillion times he has said that

When walking through the city at dark, you both came across a dark alleyway

-"BABE! Let's go through here!"-Monsoon pointed out

-"What? But why?"

-"BECAUSE! It's typically in an alley that something bad tends to happen, and it's through loss and tragedy that someone manages to get superpowers, a clear metaphor of becoming someone better and evolving after said tragedy"

-I don't know Monsoon. I don't wanna get stabbed in order to get superpowers"-You tried to protest, but he was already running off like a madman, and you followed him

After reaching deeper into the alleyway, you both were standing still, waiting for something to happen

-"Monsoon, please! I don't like it here"

-"But...it's what would have happened to Michael Morbius if he was written by DC comics and instead of being a vampire, he used a bat costume instead"

-"That's Batman!"

Suddenly, a tall figure jumped out from the shadows, and whoever it was easily towered over both you and your boyfriend

-"Handle ya money now!"

-"...Sundowner?"-Monsoon recognized the figure's voice

-"...No"-The man (who was clearly Sundowner) started-"I have no idea who this "Sundowner" fella is, but I bet that he's very handsome and cool"

-"What are you doing here? And why are you robbing us?"-You asked

-"Well, I was running short of money, and I needed a quick buck, ya see"

-"But...you have World Marshall to buy things"-Monsoon pointed out

-"Yeah, but I don't want to leave a search history of what I buy in the company's name"

-"What? Kid's brains?"-You said sarcastically

-"No, ya fucking dick nip. Genshin Impact boys"

-"Oh"

-"Now I have to kill you both now. Nothing personal of course, I just don't want you both telling everybody what I buy"

Suddenly, Monsoon started to spam out, like he was having a seizure

-"M-Monsoon?!"-You asked with great concern about what was happening

-"Y-Y/N!! STAND BACK!!!! I'M...I'M...I'M GONNA MORB!!!!"-Monsoon yelled out, suddenly the only human part of his face was now being twisted to resemble that of a bat

-"...What?"-Sundowner reacted to this whole weird ordeal

-"Heheheheheh...Look what you have done! I've Morbed myself all over, and now...I'm feeling quite Morberous, and you don't want to see me when I'm Morbius"

-"You ok dude? You were always weird in the office, and I don't doubt you're weird in your normal life...

-"Oh yeah he is. Totally insane. Unhinged even"-You added

-"But now you're acting like a lunatic"

-"I'm gonna make you Morb these words!"-Monsoon threatened, extending his fingers to form a red ball of energy within his palm-"You've done for! I've activated my Morb-Orb!! The deadliest mORB of all universe!!"

Then, the Cambodian man yeeted said red ball in Sundowner's direction, which traveled very slowly

When the ball finally reached the target, Sundowner got blasted away. The Alabamian man flew into the air before crashing into Jetstream Sam's Brazilian BBQ and falling directly into a huge ass fire pit

Both you and Monsoon stood in awe at the Cambodian's new powers

-"Holy shit dude! That was awesome!! How did you do it?!"

-"I...I don't know. I just realized you were in danger, and my body started to tingle"

-"Man, does watching too much Morbius (2022) gave you this power?"

-"Probably. But Y/N! I promise I'll use my powers to good, and I will not let you get in any harm"

-"Awww"-You smooched Monsoon

-"On this day forward, I'll be Monsoorbius!!"

-"Amazing..."

[One week later]

Well, it wasn't as amazing as you first thought

Sure at first it was nice to have a personal Morbius Angel, but you didn't take into account that when he said "any harm", he also meant the little things that are more of a bother than harmful

You started to notice when you were playing at your [insert your gaming setup of choice here] and you got annoyed when "4M3R1C4N M4N" (which was obviously Armstrong) kept killing you over and over again, typing taunts after every kill

-"Fuck man"-You said, and that caught the attention of your boyfriend

-"Anything bothering you, baby girl?"

-"It's nothing man, it's just this asshat keeps killing me"

-"You seem pretty alive for me"

-"In the game, dumbass"

-"Is he...HARMING your fun?!"

-"What? ...In a way, I guess?"

Then, Monsoon used his Morbcker skills to find your opponent's IP address, then he yeeted himself out of the window and flew away

Some minutes later, you noticed that your opponent was AFK, and then later he was disconnected by inactivity, but that didn't bother you so much as now you could game in peace

But then, Monsoon came barging into your room, covered in blood

-"I've dealt with the problem!"

-"...DID YOU KILL THAT GUY?!?!

-"What? No. I've just kidnapped his family and sent them to an unmarked island on the pacific ocean"

-"Then what is all of that blood about?"

-"Oh this? I just ran over a homeless man while driving the Morb-MORBile"

-"I thought you were flying"

-"It gets tiring fast, but hey! What matters is that he won't be troubling you anymore, babygirl"

-"I suppose"

-"Enough with the talk, let's fuck! I'm feeling extra...morby"-Monsoon said, carrying you bridal style to bed. You both had the craziest sex that it made the Joker look like he have regular sex

It was another day, and you were chopping some stuff to prepare for lunch. You were sad that your beloved cyborg vampire couldn't join you because, well, as a vampire, he can only drink blood...or anything blended and poured into an official Morbius cup
You got distracted and accidentally cut your finger

-"Ouch! dangit!"-You said out loud, as it did hurt, but not much

That was when Monsoon quickly ran to the kitchen and started to Morb right there on the floor. He yelled his transformation out loud; the floor started to shake violently; all the cars around the block started to beep their alarms; a crater opened nearby; a tsunami struck japan; people panicked; you panicked as the lights on your house started to flicker frenetically

Then everything suddenly stopped as he simply pulled out the officially licensed Morbius Glock (Or "Glockius" for the big-brained) and shot the knife that hurt you multiple times

-"Stop! Stop!! What the fuck?!?!"-You barked, trying to get some explanation for all of this crazy ordeal

-"I had to do it, baby. The knife hurted you, and that wasn't very Mobbers of it"

-"Yeah but you shot all of the things I was gonna use to make myself some lunch! What am I gonna eat now?"

Monsoon then pulled out his extra Morbius cup and gave it to you

-"Lucky for you, I just grabbed an extra one. It's blended fried chicken from KFC"

-"And that's basically hows my life going"-You finished telling all the crazy stories you had recently with your boyfriend, placing the cup of coffee down after taking a sip out of it

-"I see..."-Mistral responded, taking a long moment of silence to digest all of this information, then she started with a sigh-"Honestly (Y/N), how do you end up dating so many crazy guys?"

-"What do you mean? It's not always"

-"Your first boyfriend was an ex-American soldier with a crazy obsession with freedom. Then your second was a dummy thicc Brazilian man where he would kill people by clapping his ass cheeks. And now you're dating this guy that has weird vampire powers..."

-"Morbius powers"-You corrected

-"Whatever. And now he's destroying everything that causes you harm, even the smallest things"

-"He just...a little overprotective, I'll give you that"

-"I watched the news, (Y/N), and how a "Local Cambodian man threw hands with a dog" "

-"That dog had a chainsaw! He was saving me!"

-"Why are you even with that guy anyway? He sounds like a lunatic to me"

-"Well...heh"-You started to blush and giggle as the kinky memories started to rise-"Let's just say he has that He/Them Morbussy that makes me cum 3 Morbillion times"

-"I...I'm...I'm not even gonna try to grasp what the fuck does that even mean"

-"Hello my beloved :3 ...oh, also hi Mistral"-Monsoon said, coming to the table that you and Mistral were sitting at-"I just came back from destroying another cinema that had the audacity to remove Morbius from its catalog. Can you even believe that?"

-"...I was gonna watch a movie there later"-Mistral said-"But whatever, (Y/N), you should tell them"

-"Tell me what?"

-"...Look Monsoon, I appreciate what you're doing for me and all, but...it's getting a little bit out of hand. I can take care of myself. And besides, you're kind of destroying the things I like for no reason"

-"I...do that?"

-"Last week you destroyed my friend Raiden just because he gave me a slight push"

-"He might have hurted you!"

-"It was playful, and now his wife won't even know that her husband is now in Mars by how far you Morbeeted him"

Monsoon stood still, silent for several seconds

-"Am I...harming you?"

-"I DIDN'T SAY THAT!!"-You quickly responded, as you knew exactly where this might go

-"That's exactly what they're saying"-Mistral interrupted

-"SHUDDUP MISTRAL YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!! AND MONSOON YOU'RE NOT CAUSING ME HARM!!!"

-"No!...I see it now. Who could have guessed that the biggest threat...was me?...I love you, (Y/N)...goodbye"-Monsoon monologues, then he got out of the chair and started to Dismorber himself into pieces. The scenery was quite...Morbid (Was that a normal word or a Morb pun? Not even god knows)

You stood there, horrified by what just happened

-"...Welp, I guess you're single again. Want to grab a cup of coffee?"-Mistral said, as she was quite the opportunist, even tho you both were already at Starbucks

Chapter Text

It was another Friday at World Marshall. Just mere hours before the workers can leave to enjoy the weekend. Everybody watched anxiously the minutes tick by.

When the time hit, all the workers rushed to pick up their personal stuff to go home. You were one of them, getting your jacket and placing all of your belongings in the briefcase. You almost left the office you worked at before you felt a rather heavy touch on your shoulder. You turned your head to see it was your superior, Sundowner.

-"Y/N! Do you have a moment? I would like to discuss something with you"-He asked, and the Alabamian man retracted his hand once you turned to see him 

-"Yes Sundowner, what would be it?"-You asked, with the taller man cracking a smile

-"Wanna go fish?"

-"...What?"-That question caught you by surprise, not only the question in itself, but by who it was coming from

-"Exactly what it sounds like"-Sundowner responded, now waiting for your response with great anticipation

-"...Sure, why not?"-You said. You didn't have anything planned for the weekend, and besides, it could be fun to spend time with him

-"Glad to hear that. Meet me here tomorrow, with the appropriate attire, of course"

And with that, he left, leaving you alone with your own thoughts

It was tomorrow, and you were standing in front of the World Marshall headquarters. You didn't quite understand what Sundowner meant by "appropriate attire", so you were using an orange t-shirt with a white vest, a simple beige cap, and black shorts that were combining with your fishnets socks that extended all the way to your thighs (the logic is that its a net for fish...in your thighs), and also a simple black rubber boots

You continued to fiddle with your phone until you received a text message from Sunny-D saying that he was getting close. You turned your head to see his black pickup truck arriving. Once he parked, he got out of the vehicle and made the favor to open the door for you

-"Nice clothes, (Y/N)"-Sundowner said

-"Thanks"-You responded, but also noticing that he was using basically the same things as you...and that included the extended fishnet sock and black shorts (altho his whole attire was more black and red to resemble his normal wear)-"You're also looking good"

-"What can I say? A fisherman needs the appropriate clothes for the job. Now let's go"

And so, you both got in the pickup and drove off

It took some time to reach the destination, with you and Sundowner being silent, only letting the radio do all the singing, but eventually, you both arrived at the destination.
It was a massive lake surrounded by trees, far away from the city. The water presented a murky blue-ish green coloration, but it still reflected the light from the sun above. On the side, there was a small dock with a simple wooden boat tied to it

-"Let's go"-Sundowner said while exiting the car

He did the job to pick all of the heavy equipment, while you carried to lighter ones towards the boat (but in the middle of the way, you noticed that in the back of his vest said "Woman fear me, Fish want me" on the back)

Unloading everything, you both got in the boat (which surprisingly didn't sink because of the cyborg's weight) and Sundowner started to paddle towards the middle of the lake

Once you both got in a favorable position, the taller man handled you one fishing rod. It was quite well made, only getting a grip on the handle you could feel the passion put into making this rod. The instrument itself was made of a resistant, light, and stainless (of time) steel. You gave the reel's handle some spins, feeling the responsive action, and you also take notice of the fat roll of monofilament loaded into the spool. Truly, an impressive fishing rod that no doubt a true fan of fishing would try to get their hands on
Sundowner then opened one of the small containment to reveal the different types of baits he was loaded with. It had your typical fish ration and worms, but he was also packing different kinds of unusual baits, like crayfish, leeches, crickets and grasshoppers

-"So, with which one do you start?"-Sundowner asked you, and you felt an overwhelming feeling for seeing so many (weird) choices

-"I think I'll take the worm for now"-You responded, trusting the good ol reliable

He handled you one worm while he took out a cricket for himself. You both cast your lines at different sides of the boat, and began the fun experience.

Some time passed after you both casted the lines, with a deep silence dominating the boat, only nature being allowed to speak with occasional cicada sounds. You knew that silence was important for fishing, but you wished you could have a nice chat with Sundowner. You turned to check on him, seeing him so focused on his line was surprising for you. One of the feared and most brutal World Marshall leaders had such a passion for fishing. You wondered if trying to do small talk would be a good idea, given the situation. Maybe if you were quiet enough to not bother the fishes, then it wouldn't be a problem, right?

-"psst...sun. anything on your line yet?"

-"nothing yet kid, and I'm trying to focus"

-"...sorry"-Then, you returned to your line, defeated

Suddenly, you felt a pull from your rod. You quickly returned your forces and attention to your fishing instrument and started to fight against what was pulling the line. Even with all your might, you were having difficulties with your line, and you could feel your strength slipping away

But then, you felt something get on top of your hands. It was Sundowner's, and now you felt that your combined forces could beat the fish's struggle.

It took some more fighting, but you both finally pulled out the fish causing so much trouble. It was...surprisingly small

-"Thanks for the help Sun"-You said, but quickly realizing how he was able to help you, and not only that you noticed that his fishing rod was gone-"What happened to your rod?"

-"It fell off and sank, but nothing to worry about. I can always send Sam or one of the interns to go find it"

-"I'm so sorry for it tho, especially since the catch was rather small"

-"As I said, nothing to worry about, and besides, it's the right size for my next step"-He said, taking the fish out, then he used the string to tie it and impaled it again in a way it wouldn't escape out of the hook. He then gave you the fishing rod-"Wanna do the honors?"

You responded by grabbing it and casting the line on the lake again

-"So, what exactly we're fishing for?"-You asked, curious what he meant by the next step

-"Ya see, I was trying very hard to catch a specific fish in this lake. The other fisherman would call it "Jack the Fisher", since legends say it would emerge only to eat the fisherman's catches and absorb the fish's spines"

-"Spooky"

-"Yeah. I'm trying to catch this darn fish for years. Probably with your help I'll be able to"

-"Say...why didn't you ask the other Winds of Destruction for help?"

-"Let's see: That darn mutt wouldn't stop making pointless questions; Mistral refused to join me; Sam thought he could just jump in the water and split the lake in two (...and I don't doubt he could) and Monsoon wouldn't shut the fuck up by comparing fishing to society, how we're always throwing baits to attract others closer into us, and vice versa. Bitch I just want to fish!!"

Sundowner took some deep breaths after his vent

-"So anyway, I'm asking you now since you seem very competent"

-"I don't think an office job translates well into fishing"-You responded

-"Nonsense. Typing on a computer for various hours works well with handling a fishing rod and catching living beings. It's basically the same thing"

Then, you both continued to talk about other things, complaining about the same people and having a good time. Suddenly, you felt another pull from your rod, but this time it was a really strong one. You and Sundowner were quick to act, having both a tight grip on the fishing rod. The fish's force proved to be greater, as it made the boat get dragged with its movement. It was a fierce battle for dominance. Suddenly, Sundowner let go of the rod and pulled out his blades. He then jumped in the direction of the line

You could feel a strong and violent struggle down on the line, and after some moments of frenetic movements, it came to a halt.

You went to take a peak on the lake, trying to locate the taller cyborg, but that proved useless as he jumped out of the water and landed back on the boat, shaking it with his landing. Not only that but he showed the really large white fish in his arms

-"We caught the bitch!"-He celebrated, and you cheered with him

-"So, what's the plan now?"

-"We're gonna eat later, but first..."

It was another Saturday for Monsoon. He got out of his home and went to pick up the news that was dropped on his doorstep. Everything was going normal for him, until suddenly he saw a black pickup truck approaching, blasting "Red Sun Over Paradise". Then the vehicle stopped in front of his house, and he saw that (Y/N) was in the back carrying a big white fish

-"HEY MONDUMB!!"-Sundowner yelled out when he lowered his window-"SOCIETY ON THESE NUTS!!! WE CAUGHT THE BITCH!!!"

Then he drove off before Monsoon could let out any reaction. The Cambodian stood there, wondering what just happened...and just went back inside

-"Now I just need to flex it on my dad since he never believe in my fishing skill"-The Alabamian man said, crossing another name off the "flex on" list

You kept watering the fish in McDonalds Sprite (since the drink proved useful to charge phones, swords, and fishes)

Chapter Text

You walked around the island of the local Denver supermarket, desperately searching for a can of your favorite fruit, peach ("Uhh well actually, my favorite fruit is" SHUT UP!!! JUST GO WITH THE PLOT!!!). Your mouth salivated by just imagining the different treats you could do with the peachy...peaches. Maybe just eat them directly out of the can or turn them into a nice dessert, either way, you were searching for some peaches

That is until you spot it! Sitting at a table, the last can of peaches in the whole damn market. You skipped your way into the delicious can (and fruit), before stopping right in front of it

You extend your hand, more than ready to yoink the can and take it home (after paying for them...or not. You do you, boo), but it was suddenly met with the cybernetic hand of another individual. You turn your hand only to find

JETSTREAM SAM

You both touched each other's hands, and flinched

-"Ah, apologies"-Sam said-"Were you going to get that?"

-["J-Jetstream Sam!]"-You thought, blushing by being so close to the handsome Brazilian samurai-"I...uh...you can have it"

-"No no, you can have it. It would be so rude for me to take a can of delicious peaches from someone beautiful like you"

Your heart skipped a beat over his flirt. His sweet Portuguese accent making you get so flustered

-"N-No. I insist, you can grab it"

-"No, you"

-"No, you"

-"No, you"

And then, you both keep it going until the store closed (with you both still inside. Raiden, one of the market employees, tried to kick you both out, but Samuel kept parrying his attempts)

With the sun appearing by the horizon, you and Sam kept insisting on the other grabbing the can, until Armstrong grabbed the can, and after taking a glance under, he threw it away

-"Hey! We were deciding over that can!"-You exclaimed to the senator

-"What's your game, Armstrong?"-Samuel said

-"Haha, idiots! That can passed its expiration date"

-"Oh"

Steven left you both alone. You turned to Sam, that just stared back at you

-"So...wanna grab something to eat?"-Jetstream Sam asked

-"Oh please. It feels like I haven't eaten anything for a day"-You responded

-"That is because you were both in the store for a day!"-Raiden exclaimed-"...fucking idiots"

MISTRAL

Your hand brushed with one of Mistral's many hands

-"Oh my. Sorry about that, sweetie, but If you don't mind"

-"Yeah sure"-You said, allowing the French lady to grab the can of goodies (SIMP!)

-"Well, aren't you quite nice"-She said, wrapping one arm on your shoulder, and using one of her many arms to circle on your chest-"I think you deserve a little...reward"

Your head exploded when she pecked you on the cheek and gave you her phone number. You already knew what you were going to do later

Later, you BANGED ON THAT MF DOOR (Nah jk, it was normal knocks) and Mistral was more than happy to have you here once she saw you

-"Are you prepared for the night of your life?"-She asked, and you almost ripped your head off by how fast you nodded

And then...you both made a peach pie. It was absolutely delicious, and you were glad to let Mistral grab the can

-"Come here again if you want another round"-Mistral added

MONSOON

When you wrapped your hand around the can of peaches, another hand had also wrapped around yours. You turned to see Monsoon, but he was far away, using his magnetic powers to extend himself

-"Umm...hi?"-You said, before noticing that his hand was slowly pulling the can for himself, dragging you along-"H-Hey! My peaches!!"

-"Give it up! These peaches are mine! Just like how nature has planned. Wind blows, rain falls, and the strong take the delicious fruit for themselves"

-"What? You're too far away to hear"

The Cambodian man then grabbed a megaphone out of his shopping cart-"I SAID WIND BLOWS, RAIN FALLS AND YOU HAVE LOST THIS ONE!!"

-"...Try using the megaphone next time, I still can't hear you"

Annoyed, Monsoon activated his magnetic powers to the maximum, with Stains of Time blasting through the market's soundboxes

-"Shit, not again!"-Raiden said once he noticed the loud music-"Goddamnit Monsoon, your frenetic electronic music is too much for the old folks!!"

Now creating a storm of magnetic objects being pulled towards him, with you getting caught in the crossfire, but still holding tightly on the can

-"Give it up!"

-"NEVER!!!!"-You responded

Monsoon kept manically laughing, because he has won this...except for the part where an oven suddenly hit him like a train, making all the metallic objects fall to the floor as he got crushed

You stood still for a moment, seeing the random metal shit spreaded around you, but then just decided to leave the area

-"Stupid Monsoon and his memes"-Raiden said as he approached the isle where a wild storm just happened, stumbling on the absolute mess that it was-"...I quit! I'm not dealing with this shit again"

SUNDOWNER

You grabbed the can of peaches, but both your hand and the can were captured by the massive hand of Sundowner

-"Uh excuse me, but I grabbed it first"-You tried to say, but Sundowner just shrugged it off and threw you and the can in his shopping cart

You yelled that you were still here, but the Alabamian man just ignored you. Once reaching the cashier, he threw all of his stuff in that sliding part (I forgot the name and Idk how to look it up on google). Sam just kept on scanning every product, including you. The machine obviously failed to scan you...because you were priceless ;3

-"It must be free then"-Sundowner cracked a joke, with Raiden giving his live employee reaction to that joke (aka he did not laugh at all)

Sundowner said "fuck it" and just picked you up with the rest of your stuff

The rest of your day was...odd. Sundowner took you to his place. He feeds you too, so you suppose that you live there with him now...ok

Chapter Text

It was quite the crazy night at the club, being another escapade for The Winds of Destruction. Committing all sorts of atrocities took quite a toll on them, so the mercenary group would hang out in ordinary human spaces

This time they found themselves at a nightclub, being that a suggestion from the Brazilian Samurai, JetStream Sam. At first, that seemed like an odd idea, but the even odder group was now enjoying the place to its max

Sundowner was SLAYING...on the dance floor. He was surprisingly amazing at dancing

Mistral was in the club's corner, gathering a huge amount of men and women that fell into her charms, waiting for the one she would pick up to play (and break) with back home

And that's where we then find our favorite Cambodian, Monsoon, drinking by himself in the club's bar

He wasn't one to participate in these feeble activities, believing that these memes were a mere waste of time, a cheap high before death would come for them all in the end. Sure, Monsoon thought the same thing about boozes, but he drank to pass the time. Besides, he had a high alcohol tolerance (one of the many, many perks of being a cyborg)

Bored, Monsoon took another glance back at the dance floor, with the goal of finding his breakdancing colleague, but he almost choked on his drink once he did. The one that made the Cambodian cyborg almost spill his drink in disbelief was...you (Yes, You! Ya cutie pie ;3 ), with your shiny skin, big eyes and amazing lips

Monsoon panicked, trying so desperately to spot his Brazilian friend. Sam was a little further by the counter, talking with a white-haired twink. The Cambodian quickly ran towards Minguado

-"Sam!!"-Monsoon exclaimed

-"Not now, M. I'm a little busy"-Sam responded, turning back to the waiter he was currently flirting with-"So, you come here often, pretty boy?"

-"...I work here, deep shit"-The waiter said-"And I just asked if you wanted another drink, I don't care about your RGB lights"

And so, the twink was gone, and Sam let out a defeated sigh-"...What is it?"

-"You're not going to believe it, but I just saw the most gorgeous-looking thing ever"

-"Heh, Monsoon taking interest in someone? Now that's rare"-The samurai joked-"But in all seriousness, describe your girl"

-"Well, they're nothing you have ever seen before like a person you have seen before. Nothing you could compare to your neighborhood! I'm trying to find the words to describe this thing without being disrespectful"

-"Ok ok, I can see that you're really interested in them"-Sam interrupted-"So how about you show them to me?"

Monsoon got right beside JetStream Sam, and pointed towards a specific part of the dance floor, where there were a lot of hot people dancing...and a fish on the floor

-"Why the fuck is there a fish on the fucking dance floor?!?!"-Senator Armstrong yelled-"I'm making the mother of all dance moves here, Jack! Can't fret over a fucking fish on the floor!!!"

-"Not when you're "doing dances from Fortnite", right?"-Raiden responded, with the American senator and Liberian cyborg ninja soon dueling...in an actual fistfight (not everything can be solved with a dance battle, unlike what you were told by 2000's Disney movies)

Sam looked past that little fight and continued to analyze the dance floor, until he found someone that fitted Monsoon's description. It was another white-haired dude wielding a katana, but unlike Jack, he was using a black coat with a lighter bluet vest underneath

-"Don't worry, leave it to me"-Sam comforted his friend, before making his way toward the target (but also making sure to not step on the fish).

Vergil was doing...Vergil stuff (Idk, I never played DMC5), until his stuff was interrupted by our loveable Brazilian man

-"Hey there, the name's JetStream Sam, the cool winds of Brazil"

-"...My name is Vergil, and I am the storm that is approaching"

-"Interesting"-Sam responded as he rolled his eyes-["What is it with white-haired dudes that hold katanas being so horny towards storms?"] "So, I have a friend that is a little interested in you, but wouldn't you know it, he's a bit shy, so why won't you pay him a visit?"

-"And who is your friend?"-Vergil asked

-"He's the cyborg with a red visor standing at the bar counter"

-"Are you referring to the one that seems to be calling in an angry way?"

Sam was confused by that comment, but once he turned back, he saw Monsoon doing exactly what Vergil said

-"Erm, give me a moment"-JetStream Sam excused himself and returned to the Cambodian-"What is it? Wasn't that the right person?"

-"Of course not, you idiot!"-Monsoon cursed the Brazilian man-"You passed right over them!"

Sam was confused, and looked again in his path, only seeing the fish, Vergil, and Raiden saying "typical politicians! Big dicks!! But no cum..." -"Uuhh...did they move while I made my way towards that guy?"

-"No, dumbass! IT'S THE FISH!!!"

That came out like a slap on Sam's beautiful face. He was having a hard time believing what he just heard from his friend-"...T-The fish?"

-"Yes! Didn't you see that beauty of nature? Their shiny scales, their big fishy eyes, their lips perfect to eat smaller creatures in whatever body of water they found themselves in, their fins and flippers well-built to swim"

Sam was cringing with each word that babbled out of Monsoon's mouth, and here he thought that nothing could be worse than the Cambodian's talk about memes

-"SAM HELP ME!!"

-"...Fine"-Mnguado let out a groan-"Why don't you offer them a cup of water? I heard that fish like it when you do that"

Monsoon requested a cup of water from the barman, and then made his way toward you

-"Why hello there, baby girl. My name is Monsoon, from The Winds of Destruction!"

You responded with a *blub*

-"You see, I was watching you for a while, and I cannot deny that your nature took my interest...would you like some water?"

You flopped

-"I like your sense of humor"-Monsoon responded as he threw the water into your (stinky) body

Sam continued to watch, still in disbelief, the interaction between you both

-"And here I thought that guy couldn't get any weirder"-Sam said to himself. He suddenly got a text message from his Winds of Destruction group chat. It was from Mistral

DommyMommy: Hey guys, we need to bounce

ThunderThighs: Why?

DommyMommy: Ok so

Security came to escort Sun out

Since...

Heh

He rolled a really shitty blunt

Also, I already got my bitch to take home

HonestWarmonger: STFU, BITCH!

Ain't my fault that my cyborg was made to dance and kill people

And not to roll fucking weed cigars

ThunderThighs: Lmao

Ok then

DommyMommy: Where's Monsoon?

ThunderThighs: It's...a long story

But let's leave without him

And so, the group reunited back at the entrance and went to their own respective homes

[The next day, at World Marshall]

-"And this is basically what happened"-Sam said, as he finished telling what happened to the Cambodian

-"...Damn"-Sundowner responded, taking a gulp of his water, needing to digest this weird story-"...Now I'm glad that I never called that guy to go fishing"

-"And here I thought that I was the one with weird kinks"-Mistral added

-"Speaking of which, what happened to that woman that you took home?"-Sun asked

-"Oh, well, apparently she was a little bit of a wimp, and not a big fan of BDSM"

-"That's too bad"-Sam said

-"Oh don't worry. There are always other ways to break your toys"-Mistral responded with a sinister smile

-"...Nice"-Sundowner said

That was when the group noticed a really sad Monsoon arriving

-"Oh hey M, how's it going?"-Sam asked

-"Did you got blowed by a fish?"-Sundowner asked, before Mistral punched him in the arm-"Hey! What's the big deal? You do sex comments all the time!"

-"Yeah but that's my thing"

-"My fellow insane friends...I'm sad to report that my match with the beauty I hooked up with (no pun intended) didn't last"-Monsoon announced

-"Oh...sorry to hear that?"-Sam said-"...Wanna...talk about it?"

-"I'm not in the Monmood..."

-"...So anyway, I was thinking of kidnapping children to make blunt-rolling machines..."-Sundowner started

-"BUT since you all are begging me"-Monsoon interrupted

-"We didn't"-Mistral tried to say something

-"Well, after the club, I took them to various spots, like restaurants, parks and shops, before we stopped by a pier by the beach"

-"Do we even have beaches here by Denver?"-Sam asked himself before doing a quick search-"...Huh, apparently we do have. The more you know"

Monsoon continued the story-"I...even gave them a goodbye kiss, but through their lips, I could feel the taste of...death! They had died right in my arms due to dehydration. I was a fool to not share my orange juice that I got from the carnival, and now I must pay with the death of my beloved. The one that was created by nature to be by my side...now gone, and back to the earth"

-"...Oof"-Sundowner responded (and that was quite the appropriate response)

Chapter Text

-"Yo, Y/N! Wanna come to a One Direction concert?"-Sundowner asked when he leaned into your work cubicle

You raised your head from the paperwork you were doing, staring back at the taller man in disbelief

You looked around your tiny cubicle, making sure that he was indeed talking with you. You pointed at yourself-"...me?"

-"Yeah, I mean, who else would I be talking with?"-The Alabamian chuckled-"You see, I got 4 tickets, and me and the boys were down to go, but Mistral said she was going to be busy this weekend, so I thought "Who better to replace Mistral than our top worker?" "

That last part made you feel silly. "Top worker", eh? Now that had a nice ring to it, and it was coming from your boss, no less. Welp, considering how your agenda was free, you didn't see the harm in tagging along

-"Sure thing, boss"

-"Please, you can call me Sundowner outside of work"

-"...But we're still at World Marshall"

-"...Shit, you're right. Anyway! Nice talk, now back to work!"

And so, you got back to your papers, now smiling and waiting patiently for Saturday

[Saturday]

In what seemed like a time skip from a fanfic, it was now Saturday. You were now in front of the stadium where Sundowner told you the event was taking place, waiting for the group to arrive, and soon after, they did

-"Heya Y/N!"-Sundowner was the first to greet you-"Apologies for the wait"

-"Yeah, Monsoon was taking his precious time with his dumb shirt"-Sam pointed out

-"Oh shut it, Sam!"-Monsoon exclaimed-"One Direction is one of my favorite bands, so I couldn't decide which of my finest shirts to you"

You looked at the Cambodian cyborg, and he was using a yellow shirt with a Minion face in it

-"It looks great"-You said, trying to be nice

-"Thank you, random ass employee that I don't know the name. It's nice that someone has exquisite taste in fashion"

-"Now now, boys. This one is Y/N"-Sun introduced you to the other members-"Alrighty, enough talk! Let's go watch a show already!"

Thus, the group got inside, being stopped by the ticket booth

-"Tickets, please"-Raiden said

Sundowner showed him the 4 tickets...before punching Jack in the face, knocking out the cyborg ninja

-"Pog"-Sam said

The group was now in the middle of a crowd of fellow One Direction fans, already screaming and being too ecstatic to see the boy band in action

It didn't take long for the band to get on the stage, consisting of Niall Horan;

Harry Styles;

Louis Tomlison;

Liam Payne

and a crocodile

-" 'Ello, luv!! We are One Direction!!!"-Niall announced, making the crowd go wild-"Tea and biscuit! Thank you to everybody who made it to our show! Harry, wanna say a word about it?"

-"I'm Harry Stules"-Harry Styles said

-"Wonderful! Let us start!!"

One Direction now put on a hell of a show, singing their iconic songs, making the crowd go feral, to the point one girl came on her pants and another had a heart attack

-"OMG ZAYN!!! I LOVE YOU!!!"-A fangirl extended her arm close to the reptilian singer

The crocodile looked at the arm and bit it, ripping it off and sending blood everywhere with a death roll

-"OH FUCK!!! ...I'm never going to wash my arm ever again!"-The fangirl said smiling, walking off with blood continuing to pour from the open injury

-"Heh, you guys can probably imagine whos my favorite"-Sundowner commented as he lightly elbowed you

And the show continued for a long while

When the show was over, the fans started to leave, with the janitors now stepping in to brush off all the dead people who died from a heart attack. You almost left, before Sundowner grabbed your arm

-"Hey Y/N, where are you going? Our tickets allow us to see the band at the backstage"

-"Really?!"-You responded, flabbergasted-"Let's go, then!"

Now, you were following the tall cyborg. You entered the backstage and saw all the technical team working, until you both arrived at a door that said "One Direction" and entered it

-"Hey guys, sorry for the wait"-Sundowner said as he joined the other cyborgs that were already sitting down

You saw that One Direction was also there, and they were now looking at you with curious eyes

-"So, this is the person you were talking about"-Liam commented

-"Heh, quite the eye-catcher, isn't it?"-Jetstream Sam said, and that made you giggle

-"I'm Harry Stules"-Harry voiced

-"I agree Harry, they'll do just nicely, yeah yeah"-Niall added

-"Umm, sorry, but what is this about?"-You asked, confused, but also feeling so silly by having a boyband so interested in you

Zayn hissed

-"Indeed, they seem so fit to work in our diamond mines"-Louis chuckled

-"Hehe, fit...wait what?"-There was a disc scratch sound inside your head

-"Y/N...you're being sold to One Direction!!"-Sundowner announced to you with a big smile

-"...W-W-What?!"

-"Yeah so, one way that we collect funds to invest in our war criminal schemes is by selling our workers to One Direction"-The Brazilian samurai explained to you-"Heh, nothing personal, kid"

-"Ok so, that snack of a person is gonna be 3 dollars and 75 cents, and a pack of Doritos"-Liam said

-"Deal!"-Sundowner exclaimed

-"What?!"-You yelled, but suddenly, Monsoon put a collar on you (it would have been kinky if the situation wasn't so nerve-wracking)

-"Sorry luv, but you're our property now, cheese and crackers"-Niall commented-"Now let's go to our One Base (that's what we call our place of operation), yeah!!"

-"Bye, see ya Y/N"-Sundowner said as the other cyborgs left you with the boy band

After a long bus ride back to One Direction's place, you were transported into the band's diamond mines

-"Get to work, slut!! ...tea time!"-Niall said, locking the metal door behind you after kicking you to the mine's floor

You slowly got up, now seeing the vast cave that you were enslaved to work in

But also, some people slowly started to creep up from behind the walls and the darkness, with the majority of them pale, malnourished, and with similar collars on their necks

-"Oh no, we have a new one"-One of the fellow slaves commented, picking a pickaxe and giving it to you-"Y-you better get to work soon, or else they'll feed you to Zayn, just like how they did with poor Jeremy"

Still confused about what was happening, you simply picked the tool and stared at it. Tears started to escape your eyes as you now realized this was your fate now

You have been sold to work in One Direction's diamonds mine, for the rest of your life...

...or at least, a week

Because the band broke up

Animal control finally caught up with the band using a crocodile in their performances, and they took away the reptile from the group. The band couldn't continue without Zayn, so they announced their end

With that, the band also let go of the slaves before the FEDS could find out

The sun was almost blinding for you after that week in the mines. You witnessed so much death, mistreatment, torment, and suffering in there, but you were finally free at last

But before you could relish in your freedom, you got a phone call (when did you get your phone back?)

-"Heyyy~ Y/N! How's it hanging?"-It was your boss, Sundowner-"So, I heard that One Direction is over and that they decided to let go of all the slaves they had, which in my opinion they should have burned down to avoid witnesses, but what do I know? Anyway, I hope this doesn't create some bad blood between us, and that I can see you back at work"

-"..Are you kidding me?"-You responded

-"Now now, I know this may sound very absurd, BUT I am willing to give you a promotion and a raise...in 3 months, if you come back to work...so...what do you say?"

I didn't know how to end this fanfic, so you started to hit the griddy