Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Hey, Eddie?”

Eddie turned his head to meet Buck’s gaze.

It was a rainy Saturday afternoon, the first one that they both had off in a while. With Christopher at a sleepover, Eddie had had the house all to himself. That is, until Buck had arrived. Approximately 25 minutes after Eddie had returned home from dropping Chris off, Buck had waltzed into the house, not bothering to knock because he didn’t need to, and plopped down on the couch next to Eddie. That’s where they had stayed for the past four hours, a movie long since ended, lounging in the comfortable silence that had settled between them. Buck was a fidgety person, Eddie knew this. He loved to talk about anything and everything. His leg tended to bounce when he sat still for two long, or when he got overly excited about something. But now, Buck was still, just looking at Eddie as if he wanted to say something but didn’t have the words yet.

“Do you…” he trailed off for a second, thinking, “do you ever think about us?”

“Buck you’re sitting next to me talking. I’m thinking about us right now.”

“No, I know, I don’t mean like that. I mean…” It took Eddie a second to realize what Buck was talking about. Buck looked nervous, but there was a glint in his eyes Eddie really hadn’t seen before. Oh.

“Oh.” Eddie felt like a schoolgirl, and his smile probably conveyed it. “Yeah.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, yeah I do. Do you?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool.”

“I just told you that I think about us… like together, and your response is COOL?!” But Buck was smiling, wide.

“Hey, I could've thrown food at you.”

“Oh, that was a low blow.” Buck shoved him playfully. “I should’ve never told you about that.”

Eddie laughed. Buck was laughing too.

“I think it's always been inevitable for us, Buck.”

Buck’s eyes were filled with tears, and for a second Eddie was sure he’d said something wrong, but then he realized that Buck was still smiling; these were happy tears. After everything they had been through, after all the sadness and grief, they had made it here. By this point, Eddie’s own eyes were glistening with tears. They could have this. They hadn’t been ready before, but they were now. They could be happy. Together. Before he could talk himself out of it, Eddie reached his hand out gently, his fingers whispering across Buck’s face, sweeping over his beloved birthmark, tracing over the little scars Buck had accumulated from various calls, and moving down until he was cupping Buck’s cheek. He brought his other hand up to mirror the first. There had been a lot of bad moments and catastrophe in their lives, but it had led them to this point, and Eddie was grateful for that. He pulled Buck’s face in gently, finally brushing their lips together. Buck didn’t hesitate to kiss back, holding on tightly, as if he was scared the moment they parted, Eddie would simply disappear. Eddie smiled into the kiss.

“I’m not going anywhere, Buck.” he whispered against Buck’s lips. Eddie pulled away slightly so he could rest their foreheads together.

“I know.” Buck’s hand had made its way to the base of Eddie’s neck, playing with his hair. “I know it sounds stupid, but I’m still not even sure if this is real.”

Eddie chuckled lightly. Smiling, because this was exactly the type of thing he’d expect Buck to say. I love you , he thought to himself.

“Eddie.” Buck breathed out, sounding euphoric.

Shit. Eddie had definitely said that outloud. “I–, oh god, I said that out loud didn’t I?”

It was Buck’s turn to laugh. “Yeah, yeah you did.”

“I’m s–”

Buck kissed Eddie again, interrupting his attempted apology. “I love you too if that wasn’t clear.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Eddie wonders if his past self, so completely broken and unsure if he would make it from day to day, would believe it if he knew he’d make it here, to this moment, if he knew he’d finally get to be happy. Eddie let his head fall to Buck’s shoulder. They sat there and just held each other. They didn’t have to rush anything, they didn’t even have to speak. They had the rest of their lives ahead of them. This was a forever kind of thing. Both Buck and Eddie were sure of that. They finally get to be happy.