Chapter Text
The next day brought other challenges. The experiment had ended, Johanna had been able to negotiate with David’s superiors to allow the former faction members to stay in the city as long as they were self sufficient and allowed outsiders to come join them turning Chicago into another metro area like Milwaukee. The Bureau would be in charge of keeping order in Chicago's city limits. Four had taken a truck from the compound and had headed back to the city. I followed after him, his path led us to his house in Abnegation. When I finally caught up to him he had shaved his head, he was staring at himself in the mirror holding a vial of memory serum. He hadn’t heard me approach.
“You didn’t think I would notice you missing this morning?” I called out to him. “You’ve been stuck to my side for days. Matthew told me you stole a vial of memory serum.” I approached him slowly.
“Why’d you come?”
“I wanted to see the city the way it was before everything changed. Give me the vial Toby.” Four met my eyes, a glimmer of surprise flickering through the haze of grief at the use of the nickname I hadn’t used in months.
“This isn’t your choice, this is mine.” He said folding his fingers around the vial in a protective manner.
“Come on Toby, you might be a lot of things but you were never a coward. This is a coward's way out and this isn’t what Tris wanted.” His eyes blazed in anger at hearing Tris’s name.
“Shut up! You don’t know what she would have wanted. You didn’t know her-” He was screaming at me now.
I matched his energy as I always had,
“Except I do.” I screamed right back at him. “I know she wouldn't want to be erased from your memory like she didn’t matter.” He lunged for me then but I was prepared.
He hit the wall behind me.
“Don’t you dare say that again.”
“Or what Four? You’ll hit me? You did that plenty during initiation. I can take you and we both know that. If you want to physically fight about this, fine.” He froze.
He slumped against the wall and took a breath.
“I’m sorry.” His voice was weak, barely above a whisper.
I wrapped my arms around him and we sank to the floor. I was sitting between his legs with his head in my chest and his arms tightly wrapped around my waist.
“I know how it feels to want to forget everything. I know what it’s like to have someone you love killed senselessly. You want to trade everything for a minute of peace. But Tris changed both of us and the people we have become are worth being.”
Four started sobbing again and I clung to him as the sobs wracked his body until he had run out of tears. Finally he pulled away from me and offered me the vial. I pocketed the vial and helped Four up off the floor. We made our way down the stairs and out to the street. The sun had started to set in the distance we could make out the sound of the train rushing through the city but that was no longer our life. We had bigger things we were moving towards.
I led him away from the truck and further into the city, I led him to the train tracks and we ran to catch the train as it headed back towards Dauntless. We made it in time pulling ourselves into a car as the city rushed by under us. The city was on fire from up here and my hair caught the same light and caught fire with the rest of the city.
“Ready?” I asked as we approached the rooftop that all initiates had to jump onto.
He grinned at me and we both jumped. We hit the roof at the same time and we both let out a chuckle. I laid on the roof top and Four shifted to lay next to me.
“This is always going to be part of our story Toby, this place and these people.” I rolled onto my side to face him. “This will always be home, but we can create our own home. We can start over anywhere in the city. We could even go back to Amity.”
“It would have to be somewhere with high rooftops or trees, you can’t live without the open sky.” He teased me lightly. “Hey you told me you would tell me what Tris meant by trying again when the time was right. When will that be?”
I shifted so that I was sitting and then I made my way to the edge of the roof. Four followed after me and caged me in with his arms.
“She wanted us to give it a shot. Honest to god, try and build a life together.” I said quietly. “She knew you were still in love with me, she tried to ignore it but she felt awful about ruining something that had existed long before her. She made me promise the night we left to get Zeke that I would forgive you for choosing her and have the life together we should have if something happened to her.” I turned to face him and there was shock clearly written across his face.
“She was willing to let me go so that we could be together?” I nodded my head.
“So where do we go from here?”
“We start over. We honor her memory and we find something to work towards.” I murmured. “First we go back to the Bureau and figure out what our friends want to do. I don’t want to live in a city without them. I need to catch up with Wayne and let him know I’m still alive.”
Four chuckled.
“Wayne might actually kill me if I don’t bring you back in one piece.” I rolled my eyes at him.
“How do I stop missing her?”
“You don’t, you never will. She changed our lives but every day will hurt a little less.”
Four took my hand then and ran his fingers over my palm. The wind chose that moment to pick up and Four pulled my hair out of its ponytail to let it blow in the wind.
“The first time I saw you was before you ever approached me. You were standing in the sun just like this and your hair had fallen out of its bun. The wind was blowing it around creating a halo of fire around you and I thought you were an angel sent to save me. I didn’t realize how right I was. You were beautiful then and you are even more beautiful now.”
I rolled my eyes and shoved him out of the way as I made my way to the hole where the net was.
“I hope the net is still up.” I said as I climbed up on the edge and let myself fall.
It had been almost three years since the city had started over. Four and I had moved back with the rest of our friends. Zeke and Hana had forgiven Four. Four and I had moved into an apartment north of the river. To my displeasure it was lower to the ground than I would have liked but it still had a beautiful view. Our former Dauntless friends had decided to settle on the higher levels of the Hancock building while Caleb and Cara, our Erudite, had chosen to move back near Millennium Park. We had a neighbor who had come from the fringe and called Chicago the fourth city. He was a historian and was filled with facts about the world. I enjoyed having tea with him and listening to his stories of the world that I hadn’t learned about growing up.
Four had gone to get Evelyn. She had been invited back into the city and would be staying with us for while. There wasn’t much in our apartment, a couch, some chairs, a table and the kitchen. We had two bedrooms and both were furnished with beds. Four had expressed anxiety surrounding Evelyn living with us but he had promised to bridge the gap. They entered the apartment and Evelyn dropped her bags on the couch.
“Wren! It’s so good to see you! Thank you for letting me stay with you.”
“It’s no problem at all!” I reassured her.
“George told me you were helping him train the police force part time. You didn’t offer Tobias?” She struck up a conversation.
“I told you I was done with guns.” Four defended himself.
“You know I don’t trust politicians.” She teased her son.
A small smile crossed my face.
“You’ll trust me, I’m your son besides I’m just an assistant.”
“What about your father?”
“Someone told me he left.”
Evelyn crossed the room and pulled out a piece of blue glass I had often seen in his room as a child. She brought it over to him and held it out to him.
“I always intended it for you, I thought you might keep it.” Four smiled and nodded his head.
Later that afternoon we headed out to meet the others at the train tracks near the Merciless Mart. We were going to scatter Tris’s ashes today. It would have been the day of the Choosing Ceremony and it felt right. Christina stood with Zeke and Shauna who was in a wheelchair still but this one was better for her. Matthew stood a little further away from them.
“I have something to show you.” Shauna announced.
She pulled the blanket from her legs to reveal metal braces. She grinned at us, shifted her feet and stood.
“Well, look at you.” Four grinned.
“Caleb and his buddies made them for me. I’m still getting used to them but they said I might be able to run one day.”
“Where is he?” I asked.
“He decided to join Amar at the end of the line.” I chuckled as we all heard the train clattering towards us.
It slowed to a stop in front of us and Cara’s head popped out of the window. We all shifted to get on the train Four handed Shauna the silver urn that held Tris’s ashes and stood in the doorway clutching the handle as the train began to move and pick up speed. This was no longer the same as it had once been for us. Caleb and Cara worked for the Department of Agriculture, Matthew worked in psychiatric research, Christina was working to help relocate people from the fringe. Zeke, Wayne, and Amar were police officers. I helped George train the new recruits and Four worked with Johanna.
“Are you going to use the zipline?” Christina asked Four.
“Yea, I think Tris would appreciate my trying, besides this one can’t get enough of heights.” He gestured to me.
We slowed to a stop and we all got off the train as Four asked Matthew for updates on Peter.
“He’s in Milwaukee. I don’t know what he’s doing though.” Matthew answered and shot me a look of sympathy.
I had lost touch with him once we had moved back into the city, there was the occasional letter sent through Matthew but not much else.
“I heard he's working in an office. I think it’s good for him.” Cara pitched in.
Zeke snorted at this new information.
“I always thought he would join the GD rebels.” Zeke added as we made our way through the streets to the zip line.
The city no longer had factions but this part of the city had stayed Dauntless. The residents were still pierced and tattooed, but no longer clad in all black like we once had been. I had added to my own collection of tattoos, I had gotten three birds over my collar bone in honor of Tris but I added five more for every person I had lost, I now had a flock of birds across my shoulder and collar bone. Most of the residents in Chicago were at work, we were required to if we could. The Hancock building's lobby was filled with Dauntless graffiti, marking it as a Dauntless place.
We enjoyed filling empty spaces with our noise. We piled into the elevator and headed for the top of the building to the zipline. As we went up I was stuck relieving the first time I had done this with Tris and Uriah. They would be proud of how far we had come and that we hadn't forgotten our sense of Dauntless. Four faltered as we got off the elevator and climbed the ladder. Once we reached the top I grabbed his hand in mine and gave him a reassuring smile. I felt free up here and I loved every moment of it but Four was beginning to look sick. Zeke set up the zip line and ushered Christina forward to go first. Matthew and Christina were teasing each other but I was focused on Four as he watched in horror as Christina went down facing us. We could hear Matthew and Shauna’s cries of joy as they took their turns. Cara went next leaving Four, Zeke and I to go.
“I don’t think I can do this.” Four admitted.
“Of course you can, you’re Four the Dauntless legend!” Zeke exclaimed.
Four got closer to the edge and then shook his head again.
“This isn’t about you, remember?” I placed my hand on his arm. “This is about her. We’re doing something she would have liked and she would be proud of you for doing. Something I am proud of you for doing.”
“How did she get in?”
“Face first.” Zeke answered.
I watched as Four climbed into the sling and Zeke tightened the straps and wedged the urn behind him facing out so that her ashes would spread across the city. Before Four could think he was screaming as he went flying. I climbed up and went soaring through the city minutes behind him. It was like flying all over again, I was weightless and free as the world spread out below me. Our friends were spread out below me to catch me as I slowed to a stop. They caught me and lowered me to the ground and Four wrapped his arms around me as we watched Zeke hurdle towards us. We caught him and once he was on the ground he grinned at Four over my shoulder.
“Want to go again?”
“Absolutely not.” We all laughed this time loudly.
We made our way back to the train, everyone was chattering and laughing in the empty streets. I bumped Four’s arm as we boarded the train together and we shared a kiss in the doorway of the train. This was our own way of honoring Tris, by loving each other fiercely and unconditionally.
Seven years later Evelyn had gotten her wish. She sat with me in our spare bedroom that had been turned into a children's room with two grandkids in her lap. One was a little boy who at four years old was exactly like his father, stubborn and protective. He had my eyes and his father’s dark hair. We had named him Hunter and much to my delight Four had chosen to raise him in a Dauntless manner. Wayne and the others often helped, and I planned on giving him the keys to Eric’s apartment when he turned 16. I had cleaned out the apartment with Four’s help, he hadn’t been pleased but had helped none the less. Wanye helped keep it clean and it would sit there unused until it was needed.
Our daughter had been born two years after Hunter and we had named her Bea. I didn’t like the name Beatrice and we could never call anyone else Tris. She had my hair and her father's blue eyes, down to the small patch that was lighter in one spot than the rest. She was all giggles and sunshine and followed in her brother's footsteps as best she could. She had inherited my love of heights, my sass and drive. I had copied part of the Dauntless manifesto on their bedroom wall, I wanted them to grow up to be everything Four and I had fought to be once we were free. The wall read: We believe in freedom from fear, in denying fear the power to influence our decisions. We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another. We believe in acknowledging fear and facing that fear. We believe in shouting for those who can only whisper, in defending those who cannot defend themselves. We believe, not just in bold words but in bold deeds to match them. We do not believe that silence is useful. We do not believe that we should be allowed to stand idly by.
I smiled at my children sitting on their grandma’s lap while Four wrapped his arms around my waist.
“I think we did good.” He whispered in my ear.
I smiled up at him and kissed him lightly.
“I think we would have made her proud.”