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Chapter Text

It was kind of...normal day, you may say. Fluffy clouds walking slowly across the bright blue sky, wind so gentle and chilly that it gave living person goosebumps. Deadly silence roamed the corridors of the mountain secret facility, the hidden building in the cold snow and unkind weather. The snow at the large steel door leading inside the building was painted crimson red, as were the walls around the entire facility where the unknown soldier's mission had just taken place. Bodies lying in the pools of their own blood, lifeless expressions with unspoken screams on their faces, it was an awful sight. Only a monster with no regret would do such a thing, to murder his own kind, what was the reason to do such a thing anyway? The question will remain unanswered. 

The incoming blizzard will bury the bodies of the dead, leaving this incident forever forgotten, nobody will ever find who killed the people in the facility nor what actually happened, the snow will cover all the evidence and clues. Colourless eyes of the nameless predator watched the building from afar, not a single tear or shame on his face from act he had done. The killer turned it's back on the building, walking away slowly, hands covered in blood leaving stains in freezing snow. His heart was cold as ice, hard as rock and solid as iron, heartless beast with no way home without knowledge what love and happiness is. 

A noise of static echoed before a voice from communicator the killer was carrying, was heard. “Номер 079, отчет.(Number 079, report.)“ The male voice said with it's strong aggressive russian accent, making the killer shiver a little out of respect and fear of the superior man. The sudden silence was interrupted by the voice of the killer, his voice smooth and young as his face. It was like talking to a sly fox or slimy snake, his voice sounded like if it was full of poison, lies and death, was it even possible to sound like this? 

“Миссия прошла успешно, никто не выжил. (The mission was successful, no one survived.)“ He almost whispered holding with his index finger the communicator that was placed in his left ear. The young assassin did not seem to enjoy his success, nor praise from his superiors, he felt no happiness, no sadness, he felt nothing. There was a huge missing part in his body that was not visible, his feelings were not here there was only a supermassive blackhole, his feelings never existed and if they did they died long time ago. “ Отлично, ты знаешь, какая у тебя следующая миссия... иди и выполняй работу. (Great, you know what is your next mission...go get the job done.)“ The man gave the assassin his new targets as the communication between them broke into silence once again. Strong smell of the blood tickled the nose of the killer as he stood in the snow for a few seconds before he finally got back to moving again, towards the village that was located lower in the mountains.

He never trusted anyone and if he could he would not trust even his superiors either but he was not able to be on his own, he needed to be controled, he was designed to obey his superiors, that was his glorious purpose. He did not knew anything else than a cold hearted manipulation above his mind, there was nothing that would show him kindness nor love, happiness, sadness, passion or any other feeling. He felt numb, he didn't knew if it was even a feeling, but deep down even when his cold heart was emotionless he truly desired to feel all of the things other people feel. The wave of sudden memories flashed before his eyes reminding him all those times he saw other people smile and he was wondering 'What was it? That thing people made on their face....what was that sound they made when someone told them some phrase that was somehow..funny? Was it happiness?', but he never was able to make himself sure that is how happiness looks like. 

His oldest memories were about walking through long corridor, on each side were big windows that were showing another rooms behind those windows. Usually in those rooms were children, all with different age. They were playing games together, they looked happy...why couldn't he go play with them too? Why he wasn't allowed to enjoy his time here like them? He was always brought from one plain room to another, from strange looking people in white to another room where he was playing games with real guns as adults do. Every day it was the same, from people in white to the room with guns to another room wehre he was doing weird exercises to his own room where only a bed and small bathroom was. But only thing he could remember clearly too was the red lights, hey were everywhere not leaving his side, he couldn't see his own blood in this red glow that he saw every day, that drove him crazy. He never asked for this, he never wanted this.

It was always like a dream, more like a nightmare to live this life. But there was no shame in his body even though he knew it was somehow wrong what he was doing. All his life he was hunting others and others were hunting him, it was never ending cycle that was repeating over and over again. The most terrible thing was, he were not realising what he was doing wrong in his life, he was only finishing up the missions he was aasigned to do. He actually had no idea how the world works, his brain was stuffed with so many chemicals that he was not even able to think on his own, he was just a puppet to them. Did he even knew what or who he is? No, he never knew.

A long, quite dissapointed sigh escaped the lips of the assassin as he finally stood on the nice visible sidewalk that lead him to the mentioned village that seemed to be lifeless at this morning hour. His legs carried him to a motorcycle he left in an alleyway earlier before the previous mission. He needed to get down from the mountains quickly before the incoming blizzard strikes, he could not stay in his hideout in this village anymore. With a nice smooth move he sat on the black motorcycle, making it roar loudly when he twisted the keys in the machine.

As soon as he put on the black colored helmet, he peacefully rode out the alleyway making his way smoothly to a road that should quickly get him down the mountains. In his mind was nothing except the current mission he had to finish as soon as possible. He was aware of that this mission will not be easy, but even when it will be impossible, he will push himself to get the job done, to not fail because he could not fail, he should not fail, never. He was supposed to take down some soldier that was sticking his nose where it should not be. It was time take life of the Legendary soldier called Big Boss.

This guy already some long time before caused a lot of problems to Soviet Union, he could not let that happen again, he swore on his life to protect and obey his motherland even when it meant he will die.

The young assassin had no idea who is that legendary soldier Big Boss, but he studied every move of his fighting style, he learned all of his moves, he learned to predict his enemies next actions, he read them like a open book. At this moment he knew where is the famous soldier hiding, where he is most active, what are his traits. Now, the only thing he needed to do, was to track the man down and attack at the best moment. The sooner the mission will be done, the sooner he could get back....home, to his Red room.
He did not knew if he could call it his home, but he still did to feed his emptiness of the destroyed and fake childhood he had. His memories were mixed together, out of place, blurry or sharp, painful or quiet.

As his eyes were staring at the road in front of him, another more confusing memories he had, crossed his deadly mind.
He remembered sitting at the table with some other two kids and two adults, male and female. There was a lot of tasty looking food on the table in front of him, but none of this food was for him because he was not allowed to eat it, only nicely hold the spoon and look at the camera. The other adults that were at the camera, were taking the pictures of him, and the other two kids and adults that were sitting with him at the table. He was aware of that they were creating something since the family dinner should not look like this. These walls covered in nice wallpaper were not real, it were only sceners and the table, chairs and all this food was brought in here and arranged so it would look as a real scene of a family dinner. But the people at the table were not even related, yet they acted like this was real and smiled at camera that took every photo of this fake scene. He had a lot of these weird memories where he was recreating a life of a normal family, even though it was all fake but as hard as he tried he could not remember the faces of the people that were he was playing the family with. Their faces were blurry and their voices sound weird, he had no idea how is this possible...to forget those common things. Was he crazy? Was he sick? He could not say.
He wasn‘t sure if some of those people in white played with his memories and did this, but there was a possibility of it.

The more he was getting out the mountains, the less snow was seen on the sides of the road. He was sure he will made it down the mountains early at this pace. The plans in his mind were already made, he should arrive to Afghanistan in 28 hours exactly and finish the mission in anoher 5 hours. He will be able to track down the legendary Big Boss during those 5 hours and kill him in next few seconds. And the mission is done for good. But...will it be this easy as he expects? He didn‘t knew, he is going against someone named Big Boss, the person who killed the commander of Cobra Unit The Boss, the person who killed the commander of GRU Volgin, The person who took down the Shagohod. But even when he was not sure if he is powerful enough to kill that man, he still did not hesitate to go on that mission, becausehe was The S-O.

He could not chicken out of the mission nor feel fear or hesitation, He should never feel those things. He was designed to accomplish every task, every mission successfully without a single mistake. He could‘t make mistakes, he was not allowed to do them, never. If he ever do a mistake, even a small one, it will cost him his meaningless life. He knew he is being watched by his superiors, he godly knew there is a tracking chip in his body, that is why he could not hide before them. But even when he knew all of this, he never said anything and rather kept his thoughts to himself, he didn‘t wanted to lose the ability to speak for himself too.
He was playing dangerous game that would cost him life if he made only one slightly wrong move and he was aware of that. Altrought he knew about all of this, he never tried to escape, the thing that hold him on their side was the hope he will get to know his real family and one day he will be able to see them too. And the second thing that held him on their side was the microbomb in the chip he had in his body. He really did not liked that idea of his head exploding if he disobey his superiors. Once, he saw this to happen to one of the older children that were raised for the same purpose as him, the kid rebelled against the GRU that was raising them and tried to run away.....before the kid even seen the light of the day, the childs head ripped into million small pieces of flesh, brain and skin, the rest was blood that splashed on the white walls of the corridor.
He had nightmares the following next months about his own head that exploded too. It was something like a warning to those who wanted to run away too, and it nicely worked, no one dared to try to run away anymore.

To his luck, he was the only one who survived fromt the Red Room project, he was the only one who became the 10-star assassin, he was the one who had the unimaginable power, he was the one who stayed alive and became successfull. He should be gratfull for what he got and that he survived the endless pain but he was not, he hated every second of being alive....the other children did not deserved to die then why he survived? Why was he the only one alive out of the hundreds of kids that he was raised with? Why him? Why?
That was the question echoing in his head all the time, that did not let him sleep, that was following him everywhere. He took all this, even his existence as a curse, he hated himself to the bone for million reasons that were not his fault but yet he could not stop blaming and hating himself. This just was not fair at all. 

He glared at the speedometer as he speeded the road in the highest speed. Mind of his was getting lost in the thoughts that did not belong to him but to them, it was a strange feeling to not being able to produce your own toughts. It felt like there was an intruder in his head, and he could not do anything about it. Uncomfortable feeling. 

At the horizon started to appear the buildings of the city where he was supposed to get on a ferry and get into afganistan. At that moment he knew soon the mission will be over and he will be assigned to another mission...if he survive this one. If he fail it will not be good, actually it will be more than terrible. The young assassin shook the thoughts of failure out his head as he added on the speed and rushed towards the quiet town. He really wanted to disappear and never ever take gun in his hand ever again but that is too much he wish. They never leave him alone and will do anything to keep him at their hands, he had no free will, no voice to speak with for himself, he had nothing. If only he had the chance to run away or just die, was it even possible for him to die? He could not answer the question himself since he got up after every terrible injury and did not cared if it hurts or it is bad. 

The young assassin made a mental note in his mind to never go on a mission with a motorcycle when you have to go then on a ferry from Azerbaijan to Turkmenistan and then over the whole country to Afghanistan. He should have taken the plane, he would have been in Afghanistan much more faster. He rolled his eyes above his stupidity, as he continued to the town so he could get on a ferry and leave Azerbaijan before someone finds out the facility in the mountains was destroyed. Nobody will know it was him who killed the people in the facility and destroyed all of the technology and burned all the blueprints, they will only know someone just destroyed their chance to attack USSR.

He knew he will not be able to visit Azerbaijan for some time, but that should not be a problem in his situation when he is every day in different state. He could not wait to have some free time for himself and sleep for some time under effect of sedatives and let his body rest for a long long time. This was very stressful job and even with his hard training he was quite stressed and needed a break too. He could have been on a mission for months without a break so he always deserved to take some day off. But sometimes he did not had the chance to have day off since his life was controlled by Them so he was in the terrain non-stop.

The White Devil was gladly coming for the legendary soldier Big Boss. He was approraching really fast without hesitation and fear, the days of the Big Boss were counted down.

Chapter Text

The golden rays of sun reflected from the bright white hair of the young assassin who laid on the edge of the big sand rock, observing from afar the village that was occupied by soviet soldiers, his comrades, with his binoculars. His stomach hurts from the unexpectedly long time he laid there on a sandy surface silently. It was nearly 3 hours he was trying to track down the legendary Big Boss but he have not seen him around, there was no alert in other outposts and The assassin doubted the mighty, with war obsessed, Big Boss was so good at hiding. He was wondering where that....man was staying at for so long? He was supposed to be roaming through afghanistan outposts already. 

But he was not losing his patience and was willing to wait for days and even months to get that man. He sighed silently as he crawled away from the edge of the sandy cliff and then carefully stood up and dusted off the sand that sticked on his tight black battle suit. He walked a few steps towards a giant rock behind whom was hiding his motorcycle, he could not risk anyone to see his transportion and find his hiding spot. He put on the helmet and sat on the motorbike, he did not knew where to settle down yet so he was changing his hiding spots so he could find the Legendary soldier easily without getting spotted. The exhaustion from hunting down the people and destroying facilities, was crawling behind his neck but he was too stubborn and controled to let himself get some rest and admit that he needed some sleep. He rode out his hiding spot on a dusty road, leaving the Da Shago Kallai village, heading to Spugmay Keep ruins. 

In silence he arrived in the ruins, looking for a good spot to hide his motorbike. He suddenly looked around when he felt he ground shaking as if the helicopter was arriving but this was way far too different than a helicopter. He got off his bike as fast as possible and rolled behind a collumn that was nearby him taking his handgun out. He was chaotically looking around his surroundings and still could not find the thing that made the ground shake. It could not be a earthquake because in Afghanistan were no earthquakes, and this thing that was shaking the ground was moving, he felt it. It was like a moving object which was moving around and wherever it went it shook the ground with it. 

The shaking stopped a few seconds later, the deadly silence began to spread around the sandy terrain, leaving the young assassin tense and quite confused. If he was not wrong, this must have been the Skull assassin, Quiet. She was the one that was always on the side of the Big Boss, protecting him, fighting for him, wanting to die for him....she was his tool, the silent sniper and assassin. This meant the Big Boss is close, where the silent sniper was....Big Boss was too. 

He needed to eliminate the sniper that was pointing her gun at him from afar, it would be hard to fight the legendary soldier with holes in his body. The plan he came up with was to distract the female sniper and blind her with light. Sun was now more useful than ever. The young assassin got up from the ground he was kneeling on and firmly held his handgun in his hands. He had only one try and could not screw up this time, he should not screw up, he was not allowed to make a mistake. In smooth and quick motion he jumped from behind the collumn he was hiding behind, and let the sunlight reflect from the tainted glass on his helmet while firing at the sniper that was blinded almost immedietly. He was aware of that he will not hit the sniper since he himself was blinded by the sun too, but he was able to run somewhere else where he will be able to shoot the female sniper down. He sprinted down the steep hill from the ruins trying to find himself a good hideout but at that moment he got knocked onto the dusty ground by a metal hand. He groaned silently, getting back to his senses and having back his clear vision. The hit from the metal arm was quite hard...but what was that arm doing in midair without an owner? This did not made any sense....Now there are in afghanistan a flying hands? He was not that much blinded to not see a person sticking out an arm to knock him down. He was sure there was just an arm flying at him with great force and then it knocked him down. 

The young assassin closed his eyes for a split second before he heard a voice...no, two voices. It was two males talking....he had hard time to understand the language but he could tell it was Big Boss‘s voice. He did not recognize the second voice but he did not cared about that, the current object was to kill Big Boss that was now standing above him. He had a plan but it was more complicated than his usual plans...he will pretend he is knocked out and when The man above him will not expect it, he will kill him and disappear. It was complicated but at the same time so simple, it will be easy to accomplish.

“Yes we successfully captured that....stray soldier...“  The mighty and fearless Big Boss replied to the man in his communicator. “Bring him to the Mother Base, he might be from BA...He will tell us what he knows.“ The man answered to Big Boss shortly, then the conversation dies leaving everything in silence again. The young assassin laying on the ground have not made a single movement, trying to seem asleep. A few moments passed when the metal arm picked up his body from the ground, The young Killer was not really happy with this, he was now carried like a pile of trash. He let himself being carried for some long while after he heard a helicopter coming. He did not understand where he will be taken but he tried not to worry about it, if he will get killed....he might set himself free. As the helicopter landed and he was placed on it‘s seats as some piece of furniture, the helicopter was back in the air together with the four passagers.

It took longer than the young assassin expected, the helicopter was in the air for almost more than an hour..was they flying somewhere across the countries or something? It was making him slightly nervous but he kept on playing his game that will end soon. He felt the helicopter land on hard surface, did they finally got into that mysterious place? He did not knew but when he was again picked up from the uncomfortable seats, his back was aching and he did not felt his leg. How is he supposed to fight a five times bigger man with a backache, and leg he does not feel right now? He oppened an eye to check his surroundings but instantly regret his decision, this place was full of soldiers. He felt quite surprised by the big amount of mercenaries but he could take all of them down if he wanted. 

He suddenly was placed down onto the ground, the Big Boss must have felt his muscles tense and now he knows he is awake for sure. He kept his eyes closed and waited for whatever was going to happen, it really was not a good choice to attack now while being surrounded with so many enemy soldiers. “Check his vitals, he was asleep the whole way back...I was afraid I might had hurt his brain...“ The voice of the Big Boss filled his ears as he listened what he was saying and tried to understand the words he said. He heard footsteps that approached him and in a split second another pair of hands were touching his body. The medic took his right hand, trying to find the assassin‘s pulse, but his suit was too tight and too thick, even when it does not looked like it, to let the medic feel the pulse. “I have to put the helmet down...there will be better access to his pulse.“ The Medic said, taking the helmet of young assassin down, revealing his face and making the onlookers speachless, and he himself too. The young assassin was really breathtaking, his skin was pale as porcelain, shoulder-lenght hair and white as snow, lips in a shade of a crimson red and eyelashes long and white too. Simply..he was gorgeous. “It‘s still a girl...“ The Big Boss whispered and took a little step closer to the young assassins body. “Is she dead?“ He asked right after, staring at the medic that finally had access to the pulse of the assassin. “No...He is not dead Boss..“ The medic answered simply and looked at the Boss who stayed silent for a while. “He?“ Big Boss asked shortly, confusion crawling onto his back. “Yes Boss...there our patient is not female but a male...around seventeen or eighteen years old. Clearly quite healthy and albino.“ Medic said, slowly checking the assassin‘s breathing. In a second the medic‘s face crashed into the head of the albino assassin. The assassin successfully head bumped the older man that just tried to help him. Assassin was sure the medic will suffer a migraine for some long time since he himself did not felt the pain at all. The albino assassin jumped onto his feet drawing his handgun at Big Boss who stood in front of him in silent surprise. It was easier than he actually tought. 

“Увидимся в аду. (See you in hell.)“ The assassin said to the Big Boss as a good bye message. But before he was even able to pull the trigger, a strong force threw him onto the orange wall of the mother base, building. He slid down the wall, tasting blood on his tongue, he must have bit his tongue during the crash into the steel wall. The pain started to fill his body as he wanted to stand up but failed. He breathed out while looking up where the person who threw him at the wall stood. His eyes laid on the blond male who stood near a slightly taller red head male with a gas mask on his face. He have recognized the man...the boy with red hair, it was Psycho Mantis the master of mind control and fire. He knew him from the records he was studying, all that experimentation he went through was caused by him actually. The GRU wanted to make someone as strong as Psycho Mantis, but someone more powerful, so they began to run all these experiments just to get something that will be capable of eliminating everyone and everything that will stand in it‘s way. 

“You should kill that thing before it gets too strong and will kill all of us.“ Psycho Mantis mumbled as he took few steps closer to the albino assassin. It was clear that Mantis knows more than one thing about the young assassin. “He is not from AB...This is a product of GRU, you don‘t have to try talk to that..disgusting rat, it will not answer you anyway.“ The red head boy said in disgust, all his hatred falling onto the albino killer. “And it will be probably dead even before you try to kill him..when they find out about his injuries...they will blow up his head.“ The tone of his voice was so cold and full of disgust and hatred, even when the assassin did not understood a single thing the taller boy said, he felt all that hate and disgust that stabbed him in the back like million daggers. “Не волнуйся... твоя смерть все равно близка..(Don't worry...your death is on its way anyway...)“ Mantis announced to the assassin in the language he understood. As soon as it was said, the panic and fear entered the mind of the young killer. Now he was aware of that his hand may be broken or he might have concussion, if they know it, he will die..if he is broken he will not be fixed, he will be in incredible pain. Even when he was alway dancing with death and desired death so much, he was afraid to die, that is why he did everything they wanted and never turned against them. 

His mind was suddenly driven by fear, first thing he did, was to grab the knife from his case that was on his belt and stab himself into the left shoulder few inches away from his neck. He started to dig the sharp blade into his skin, searching for something, and when the blade was not useful enough, he searched for that thing under his skin with his fingers. He did not let the pain fill his head, he continued to search till he finally got the thing under his skin with his fingers. He did not cared about those people that were staring at him in shock or disgust, more important for him was to save himself as fast as possible. He suddenly ripped out his skin a piece of metal together with many wires and another pieces of metal that were connected together. He threw it as far as he could away from him. He surprised himself by being so successfull and saving himself. He pulled a small communicator from his ear and left it abandoned on the ground as he grabbed the knife again. He could not risk of being captured again, his mind was racing and thoughts were in chaos. He did not knew what to do, he had no Boss and no bomb inside of him, no tracker and free mind. He ignored his opened wound on the shoulder that was bleeding and made him feel dizzy from the loss of blood, he still tried to get up. 

“Not so fast kid“ A metal hand dragged him up to his feet making him fall onto the man that was talking to him. His vision was blurry and all sounds were fading even before they got to his ears, his body was shaking like a leaf in the hurricane, it was so weird to be out of the control, he had no idea what is this feeling...was it fear? or pain? The numbness was falling apart, making him break into billions of pieces, his brain was not so stable like before and his strength was disappearing too, he was panicking. It was suddenly too much, everything was spinning and out of the chains, he could not take it. He digged his nails into the man‘s uniform almost ripping the fabric apart, he was in so much pain suddenly.

A loud whistling echoed through his head, making him cover his ears with his palms, was he going crazy?He couldn't control his breath, his head cracked in pain, his body ached, and now the whistling piercing his brain made it worse.He couldn't heart hear the people talking, he was not aware of his surroundings he was lost and in pain that he never experienced. He wanted it to stop, he needed it to stop, he would even beg to make it stop. “Достаточно! Достаточно! хватит пожалуйста! Это больно! (Enough! Enough! please Stop! It hurts!)“ He screamed hopelessly, holding his head convulsively. The pain was too much to take, he knew he cannot survive it, it was way too much. The pain was driving him insane, it was eating him alive. He pushed himself away from that man he used as support before and quickly took the man‘s gun and pointing it at the side of his head feeling water stream down his face. He did not remember he sweat so much. His movements were sloppy and slow and chaotic, he had hard time in standing still. He felt the heat rise, it was like in the sauna, it was too hot and he was heavily breathing. He was red in the face, his hair were sticking to his face due to the sweat that poured from his body like a rain, pain from his injuries were biting his already exhausted and aching body and the chaos inside his head was bursting into a massive tornado. He had no idea what he is doing, he just wanted it to stop. He was about to pull the trigger when the hand placed on his forehead calmed the synapses and the rest of his brain, all the pain, noise, and chaos seeming to evaporate in the thin air. The only thing that entered his body was exhaustion that almost immediately made him fall onto the person in front of him. His heavy eyelids closed and his misty gray eyes were nowhere to be found, all weight of his body falling onto the person that accepted him in his embrace.

Chapter Text

As the morning rays of sun shone down onto the young teenager, the fog disappeared from the endless green land full of grass, Angola. The teen boy opened his tired eyes, quickly sitting up from his bed made out of nothing, but grass and soil under the tree. Confusion fell onto his face as he rubbed his eyes, he had to wake up and move on. “Это когда-нибудь случалось раньше? (Has this ever happened before?)“ He mumbled silently as he scratched the back of his head. He had a lot of vivid dreams lately, maybe because he haven‘t ate in a long while or maybe because the chemicals were finally getting out his body. It was some long time since he run away from GRU, and disappeared from their radar. It was more than hard for him to hide from assassins GRU sent to hunt him, but he was way too smart and skilled to hide even from his ex comrades. 

When he arrived to Angola, he had no idea what to do, when he finally was free as a bird. He could live as a normal person or be a mercenary but he just couldn‘t start a new life, everything that happened in the past haunting him like a prey. With a long sigh, he got up from his bed made out of nature alone, and dusted off his suit that was armored with parts of gear he stole from dead soldiers he found in outposts some time ago together with supplies of ammo and guns he kept. He needed to figure out how to live without getting caught by GRU. He made a first step forward, leaving his sleeping place he used to get some rest. His firm grip on his gun got stronger as he continued on wandering through Angola, hoping he will finally eat something or get killed.  His hunt for a wild animals that would be cure his current problem, was quite unsuccessful even when he tried his hardest. He was trained to kill people to get himself food and place to sleep in but even that sometimes did not end up well. He did not knew how to catch an animal, he was not patient enough or taught how to hunt animals properly. People and animals were quite different. 

It was a long time since he seen proper food, honestly, he didn't even felt hunger anymore but he noticed big changes especially on himself. It was causing him problems sometimes, especially when he was in serious situations, for example when he's trying to rob outposts but due to his lack of ammo he's trying to use his combat skills. He was loosing his strength but still kept going because he just couldn't lose his life to Hunger. It was another hot day. The air was heavy, rays of sun were burning and he was boiling in his own skin. The young assassin looked around to check if his surrounding is safe, just to make himself sure he can move around this place without being shoot at. He made himself walk to the near river he spotted the other day, due to the incredible high temperature and lack of food he felt dizzy. His head was spinning, throat was sore, body was in pain and stomach was doing flips like crazy. He was sure he's going to be sick soon from this disgustingly hot weather and lack of food. 

As soon as his feet reached the shore of the river, he kneeled down putting aside his weapon. His shaky hands formed up a cup shape, picking up as much water as they could. With a lot of effort he brought his hands up to his chapped lips, quickly chugging the water from them making himself breathe heavily. He exhaled heavily as soon as he finally felt the heavy feeling lift from his shoulders.There was a thought in his head about the water not being clean but he needed to survive, he reached with his hands to the stream of water, filling his hands with the slightly cool water. There was no hesitation in his body, he made the water disappear in matter of seconds. A few drops of the water that missed his mouth run down his chin and then fell somewhere onto the ground. He felt a little bit better than before, but as he expected, the hunger came right after. A painful whimper left his lips as he put his hand on the place where is stomach supposed to be. It started to be painful, each day without eating made him feel worse and worse, it was hard to wake up to another day too. He had no energy and those painful cramps in his stomach were throwing him in despair. 

He let out a soft sigh as the cramp were gone, no longer abusing his stomach. It was time to move on, he couldn't stay on one place for too long. With a bit of struggling he stood up making his way somewhere where his legs went. He had no idea where to go, his mind was making gaps in his memories because of his exhaustion. Even his ability of making a mental map of the territory he's on just disappeared into the unknown. He could try to hunt again, after many unsuccessful tries he wanted to try again. It can't be that hard, no? He can hunt people, so animals aren't much different. He was sure about that, but as always he was wrong and not patient enough. There was a lot of things that could kill him now, yet he was quite lucky while wandering the grounds of Angola by himself. He couldn't tell if he was awake for a couple of seconds or hours or if he's still dreaming his vivid dreams, the feeling of doing anything was odd. It really felt like a dream but only his brain did this to him, he was left clueless. As minutes of walking passed, the young assassins stamina was gone to dark. There was no energy left in his body that would carry him further in the Forests of Africa. His body fell on the fluffy grass, it wasn't really a fall into feathers but it wasn't as painful as falling onto the ground full of rocks.

The exhausted sigh left his lips as soon as his body layed on the ground, even his eyes slowly started to cut him off the reality. It felt like days he didn't slept but was that feeling telling the truth? There was no proof for that. Suddenly a static from walkie talkie was heard about the body of sleeping assassin. Light footsteps reached the body, examining every inch of it. Was he dead..? No, not yet. A long wave of silence coated the place, then the body of the assassin was picked up with more than extreme carefulness. It was almost like they were scared the young killer is made out of glass and a slightly fast movement would break him into billion pieces.Soon the person was joined by a second one who silently examined the teen assassin too. With a simple nod, both of them knew what they should do. The right thing. In next few minutes in front of the two strangers, a chopper landed. It seemed like the chopper belongs to them too. Both of the strangers got on board, not forgetting to carefully move in the chopper the teen assassin too together with them. They had some sort of plan, or maybe planned this all along. It was quite weird the teen haven't woken up yet, all the way to a secret base he was asleep, sometimes he was very silently whimpering out of pain or breathing very heavily as if he laid under pile of bricks. They had no idea if he's alright, maybe they should examine him again or try to wake him up, would that be a good idea? In seconds they decided not to wake him up, it would cause him a shock or something worse would happen.

They kept being silent till the chopper finally landed on the secret base in the middle of nowhere, nicely hidden from all enemies. There was no words said and the two strangers got out of the chopper, carrying the teen from the heliport. "Boss..what does this mean?? We aren't a kindergarten-" Said tall blond man who slowly walked up to one of the strangers when he saw the teen in his arms. "Kaz...It was a right thing to do." The Stranger called Boss said, it looked like he is ready to take down anyone who tries to go against the unconscious teen and him too. Kaz frowned as the rays of sun reflected from his sunglasses that were protecting his eyes. A coat of silence was thrown over them as the Commander Kaz thought about the words the other man said. He couldn't go against his Boss and good friend, that wouldn't be right thing to do...Kaz sighed giving the team of medical support an order to take care of the unhealthy looking teen. In a blink of an eye two soldiers pushed a 'transport bed' towards the Boss, who carefully put the boy down onto the bed. He gave the teen one last glance, getting again the same thought as before...'is the kid dead?' He asked himself, feeling cold air bite the back of his neck. He felt quite bad for the teen who laid helpless on the bed, but now he was in the care of Medic, he is safe now.

"Father...who's that?" A young, blond and blue eyed teen boy asked the Boss who stared at the Medical team who was taking care of the new kid he found. Boss moved his attention to his son. He completely forgot how tall his child is for his age. "I don't know yet..." Boss answered to his son, Eli. It was quite odd after all that happened, Eli decided to come back and be a part of Diamond Dogs. Boss took a good look at his child, even when he was not the biological father of Eli, he loved him and cared about him as if he was his biological father. That is probably why Eli came back, because he found a family that he always wanted more than anything else. "That kid....it looks sick and beaten up like a dog.." The blond teen boy said, staring from afar at the body of the white haired assassin. He was right, the young killer looked sick with that very pale skin, also all the bruises and cuts on his body did not look well too. It suddenly made the older man worried, the wounds looked infected from not treating them right and those scars...where did they came from? Boss was not really surprised he cannot tell if the unconscious teen is blond or something between blond or light brown. No it made sense why the wounds on the teens body are infected, all the dirt and bad treatment had their fingers in this. With a long sigh, Boss gave another order to his medical team before they left to properly take care of the boy. "Make sure to wash all the dirt from his wounds..." The medical team understood every word their Boss said and took the teen to their care leaving Boss and others to do whatever they want before they will be finished with the boy.

Boss right after he lost sight of the medical team, took out one of his pockets a phantom cigar, ready to go relax a bit before he will visit the new kid he brought from Africa together with Quiet. "Why did you brought him here?" His son asked, reminding his father he did not left yet. The older man breathed in his lungs the smoke and kept it in for a good while and they breathed out a thick grayish smoke that dissapeared in the thin air in seconds. "I tought it will be right to save another child soldier....that kid should have the chance of becoming a normal person like any other kid here." He said slowly, trying to explain to his son he should always think give a chance to others too, even if they are strangers or someone he might know. Eli was very understanding person when he finally gave up on proving he is the best, and gave a chance to his step father. To be honest, Boss was very surprised when he found out Eli is very intelligent, charming, quirky and a lot more, he truly was the best at many things. "Oh..right.." The blond teen mumbled as he stared into the distance as if he was seeing something very interesting. The two did not needed to talk at all to spend some Father and Son time, they were alright just standing in silence and maybe sometimes say a sentence or two. "How are you doing in biology class?" Boss asked, knowing his son was not very good at biology and hated it when someone mentioned it. Eli took a deep breath in before answering to his father properly. "I still do not understand how am I failing such a basic subject.." The teen said in despair. No matter how hard he tried, he still had no idea what is going on in his Biology class, that was the only thing he was not good at. The Boss laughed silently as he always did, he understood that no one is perfect and never blamed Eli for not being good at something even when it was something so basic. "Don't worry, take as much time as you need for studying." That was all Boss said as he continued in smoking the phantom cigar. The answer from his father kinda calmed Eli, for the first time in his life he felt important and cared about, it was a nice feeling. 

"Thank you Father, I will" Said Eli as he smiled for himself, he was proud he didn't made other descision back then when he was found by his step father, he was glad he agreed to go back in here. The Boss only slightly smiled taking the last deep breath in and out, releasing the thick white smoke out. As soon as the older man hid his phantom cigar back in his pocket, the teen finally barked out his opinion. "How even can you smoke? It is disgusting and it smells horrible." The blond teen rolled his eyes, not really understanding why exactly people smoke, doesn't they know they are actually killing themselves? "You'll understand it when you'll be older, now let's go...we got job to do." Boss said heading towards the nearby platform. "You want me to go on my first mission finally?" Eli asked quickly following the older man as he fixed the collar of his own uniform he started wearing not so long ago. "No..not yet but I want you to go with me to check out that kid, you can call it as your first interrogation mission." The blond teen quickly lost his excitement, he just freshly turned twenty one and wanted to go on his very first mission all alone but his father didn't really agreed with that idea to send his son all alone on a mission and tried to avoid this kind of talk about missions. "Your time will come, you don't have to worry." Boss finished his sentence, while walking up to the stairs on Medical platform. He was sure the team was already done with patching up that kid, it was worth of visiting that kid and ask him a few questions. "You always say that." The words stabbed the older man in his brain, he knew he can't fool his son all the time and one day he will have to send him all alone on the battlefield as he wish. "I know kid.." The man sighed as he soon got cut off by the blond teen again. "I am not a kid father, I am twenty one already!" Eli spit out without hesitation as he followed his father inside the building and entering the long, white corridors of the sickbay. He never liked it in here, it reminded him of some kind of nightmare he never had but these corridors were...so silent and without a life he just couldn't help himself. "Twenty one or not, your manners are like kids ones. Now move it, we got places to be at." Boss said walking through the long empty corridors, hearing only echo of his and Eli's footsteps.

It didn't took much time and they finally arrived at the right infirmary department where the new kid was supposed to be. When the door opened, Medic stood in this small room that looked more like a little waiting room with only few chairs you could actually sit on. "Medic...ho is the kid doing?" Boss asked the man in white coat who held a stash of papers in his hands. "Well...the kid should be fine...but during the time we were patching him up, we noticed many very weird things and other stuff that might interest you, Boss." Medic said as he started to slowly walk towards the door that were located on the other side of the room, Boss and Eli didn't hesitated to follow him. "First of all his condition and his health is currently...better than before. He really had many infected wounds that are recovering right now. Also we found a few 'almost healed' bullet wounds, it looks like the bullet was removed but the wound wan't treated well." The three men walked into the next room where the new kid was located, but Medic didn't stopped his speech yet and walked towards the bed where the kid layed. "we discovered few badly recovered fractures so we had to fix them, first two fractures are located on his ribs, another three on his fingers and toes and the last one on his right wrist. I honestly doubt that he broke his bones by getting beat up...there are multiple signs of a fight, I think he might have been attacked and not only once." Medic was pointing at every injury on the body of the young teen boy who seemed to sleep peacefully. "But that is not all. The child seems to be dehydrated and underweight but that is not what bothers me the most." Medic handed the stash of papers to Snake, who carefully took it with his bionic arm. His eyes wabdered through the papers, noticing all the photos that were added to this file that now belonged to that kid. "His heart seems to beat two times faster than it is supposed to, it somehow creates some kind of energy...also this photo-" The Medic pointed at the photography of the kids back, there was located very strange and huge scar that more looked like a lightning. That scar had center on his upper back from where the scar was running down his arms and legs as a branches of a tree. "-All of this is just one big scar..."A long sigh left the Medics lips as he continued to explain everything he saw while he was patching up the child that was sleeping on the bed. "On his body I found many weird tattoos...I cannot tell what does they mean but I am sure they are older more than seven years...and this kid is around eighteen..." 

The room fell into uncomfortable silence causing every sound seem louder. Eli looked at the albino teen, examining his face closely. He noticed the chapped lips and dark circles under the teens eyes, it was like a corpse laid in that bed. It made the blond teen feel quite guilty wich was new for him, he never felt guilty, not even a little and now he somehow feeling that way. "He will sleep for some time, but I think someone should keep an eye on him." Medic spoke, breaking the silence. Snake let out a long sigh, he was glad the kid is now in good hands, yet he felt like this will be complicated a lot. He glanced towards the second younger male in the room getting an idea. "Eli, I have an important mission for you." A slight smile appeared on the Bosses face as he focused at now extremly excited blonde. "Really? you are willing to send me on a mission father?" Eli asked, excitement radiating from his pretty build up body. He couldn't believe it he finally got his first mission, he will make sure he won't fail his father. "Yeah. You're pretty excited huh?" Snake laughed seeing his son act like this, he was so confident about completing every mission without complications. The face of young soldier lit up with honest smile. "Of course, I am waiting for this my whole life" Eli responded while running his fingers through his golden hair that had fresh haircut. "Alright kid, your mission is to watch over the little snowman over here." Snake pointed at the sleeping, unnaturally pale and skinny teen on the bed, dressed in nothing but a greenish blue hospital dress. The blond youngster frowned, his face turning slightly red from fury. The words of his father quite offended him, this was not a mission but a damn babysitting. "You're joking.." Eli laughed sarcastically, he was feeling as if his father didn't trusted him enough. "I am not jokin-" "And I am not a bloody babysitter!" Eli interrupted his father in middle of his sentence. "You're ridiculous! Why do you always give me the most childish job!" He yelled at Snake who remained calm while watching his son burn with rage. "Eli." Snake breathed out staring in the deep blue eyes of his son he cared about a lot. "I give you this mission because I trust you. If you finish this mission, I promise I will send you on real mission soon." Silence fell on their shoulders while Eli was reconsidering his options. If he really send him on a real mission, then he should finish this one. "Promise?" Eli sighed, staring at his father. "I promise on my life kid." With that Eli was sure he will get his mission soon since his father never lied to anyone. He rolled his eyes as he sat on uncomfortable chair near the bed ready to sit here for days if he will have to. "Good luck kid, let us know when something happens" Boss said before leaving the room together with Medic who will now probably go grab a lunch. Eli growled while mumbling bunch of swearing words under his nose silently, if someone heard him he would be probably scolded.

-

It's been hours since Snake left with medic. Eli was honestly still mad as he was staring at the sleeping boy who haven't moved an inch during these long hours. It was very boring to sit here and doing nothing at all, it made Eli to examine closely the new kid. He now sat wery close to the bed in his chair as his eyes were ordering to the brain to remember every detail of the sleeping boy. He looked pretty good, his skin was pale yet it suited him but still there were some stains from the dirt on his whole body. Medic couldn't wash him when he was patching him up so he will surely have to take a bath when he will be conscious. His body was very thin for a eighteen year old, it made Eli wonder how long the kid was out in the Africa all alone? His eyes yet again fell onto the pale teen. His hair were like freshly fallen snow, and they were quite long for a boy. Eli was taking some long time while staring at the teen boy when he finally noticed a pair or silverish eyes piercing his own eyes. It sent shivers down his spine from how cold the look was, he stayed still keeping his angry expression. "Finally you're awake." Eli breathed out, he seemed to be still angry but he was not at all when he saw the dull and cold eyes of the pale teen who just woke up. There was a long silence which surprised Eli a lot, the boy on the bed was not talking, only staring. Was he deaf? Or scared? Did he made him scared because he is still mad at his father? "Hey...you hear me?" He pointed at his ear trying to show the boy what he means in case he was really deaf. The boy took shaky breath in, his chapped lips slightly opening. "Кто ты? (Who are you?)" He asked the older blond boy. The very silent question made Eli slightly shocked. Voice of the pale kid was so...different, as if he was broken and gave up on everything. "Russian kid?" Eli asked himself. It seemed like the boy doesn't understand english, well he did not knew a single word in english but Eli understood that not everyone speaks english. Yet there was another problem, Eli did spoke seven languages already but never tought about learning Russian. He knew only some basics from his friend who spoke russian, but it was not much he knew. "Um...Как... тебя зовут? (What is your name?)" Eli  tried to pronounce the words right so the boy will understand him better. The pale teen blinked few times before realizing the other boy talked to him in language he speaks. It was kinda broken Russian and the accent was very english to his ears, yet he knew what the blond male said to him. "Меня зовут....эмм..я не знаю.. (My name is..umm...I don't know..)" He spoke silently quickly realizing he had no name, he did not remember what name he got nor if he was called differently than by a number. Eli frowned slightly, he had no idea how this kid doesn't know his own name. He glanced at the boy one more time when he finally made up his mind, it was time to call medic and Snake. In silence Eli left the room, not bothering to try to tell the pale teen where is he going. 

When the automatic door closed behind the older teen, the young assassin looked around the room if he won't spot some trap or camera. This place did not gave him the feeling of safety at all, he felt so exposed to enemies...or maybe it was his trauma and fear of hospital areas. In matter of seconds he gathered all his strenght and forced himself to sit up only to realize he is having a problem with all those tubes and wires, he had no idea what are they for he just wanted them to get away from his body. Without thinking he ripped out the tubes and threw them aside, he should get away from here before it gets too dangerous for him. The only thing he wasn't expecting was his weak body, his own legs were unable to carry him. As soon as he stood up and went for a first step, he met the hard ground. The loss of his legs left him in panic, he will not be able to fight like this....if he'll be weak like this. His psyche was fragile he couldn't dodge the sudden wave of anger, sadness and fear, he just didn't wanted to end up like a rat in someones lab. Out of pure rage he punched floor only to see a flash of light blinding him for a second while the lights flickered. He wasn't that much surprised about the flash, he knew what it caused yet he hated to explain it or talk about it. His silver eyes drifted towards the tile he broke, the tile had some odd cracked shapes in it yet it looked kind of beautiful but the tile was still broken. He zoned out for a second, processing what was actually happening around him, there was no proof this was not another vivid dream while he was still sleeping under that tree in Africa. 

When the door openned, Eli came back together with Snake and Medic, they looked quite shocked seeing the pale boy on the ground, trying to find support in his hands when his legs failed him. It seemed like he was thinking, maybe trying to catch his breath after his short journey from bed to the ground. "Kid, are you alright?" Snake asked, quickly and carefully taking the teen boy and laying him back onto the bed while Medic started to put the IV tubes and heart monitor wire back on the place so the boy will recover properly. When Eli looked again into the eyes of that boy, he couldn't see anything but a despair and a person who already gave up now. "Hello? Kid are you okay?" Snake asked again, not getting response from the boy. The blond teen sighed, he knew there was something wrong with this kid yet he didn't knew what is it. "He's Russian, He had a small talk with me before but I didn't understood much.." He shrugged as he stared at the white haired boy who wasn't paying attention to them at all, the boy just stared at the ceiling blankly. "Have he told you something?" Snake looked at his son who stared at the boy without the name with concern in his blue eyes. "Not really...All I know is he doesn't have name" Eli sighed not expecting his father find this information as useful. He would try to talk with the boy more but it was hard to talk to him when he spoke only russian. "Maybe he isn't ready to talk to you" He run his fingers through his blond hair, eyeing his father who had no choice then give the pale boy some time. "Well...He needs some time anyway. You finished your mission, you don't have to stay here." Snake breathed out as he decided to leave too together with medic who fixed all the mess the boy did. Eli tought for a second, it didn't looked like a great idea to leave the boy all alone again what if he hurts himself? "Yeah sure...I'll just stay for a little while" With that Snake and Medic left the room, leaving Eli all alone with the boy again. Maybe it was not a good idea to stay here but he just wanted to make sure the boy will lay in bed and rest properly, he couldn't risk that if he leaves again the boy will suffocate himself with a pillow oe something else. It was just too dangerous to leave.

Chapter Text

Waiting in darkness, corners filled with endless pitch black voids that sent shivers down mortals back, but he did not felt like a mortal at all...not even close to human being. Through his sorrow soaked life with addition of blood that dripped down the tips of his own fingers, something that he would later regret all his remaining life. Skin usually colored with crimson red was now pale, almost blueish color which was certainly unusual in his case. The room he sat in on a military bed that surely was uncomfortable to sit and laid on, was small with no windows only metal door that could be opened only from outside...no handle only numeric code. Somewhere inside of him he felt regret and pain itself as it is but was unable to express it all, didn't knew how or for what purpose he should express his current feelings. It was hopeless, his own existence was hopeless...good for nothing, that's what he thought but others thought of him differently because he was indeed different than the rest of them all. 

He hated it, he hated to be different and it was difficult to understand why. Every child here wished to be him, wished to be like him....but he would rather die than do this all he was doing. That's why he was here now, that's why he sat there consumed by darkness. Eyes focused on one point on the floor where tiles were slightly cracked by cause he didn't knew. 

Why was he there though? What have he done to be here, his hands helplessly laying in his lap with slightly odd color? What have he done to be locked up there? 

It was his opinion, his decisions that was the cause. He refused, he knew it's all wrong, he shall not kill someone who can't defend themselves. He might be a killer but he's not heartless, he still knows what's wrong and what is not right? Or was he wrong? Did they messed up his brain this bad already? He was wondering silently. 

He refused to harm the child they brought him in front of, he refused to kill it because it was too young to feel all that pain even when he probably would end it's helples calling for mother and ugly cries tangled up with fear. But he decided not to, he decided to let the child go, he decided to break his own arms and fingers just to prevent himself from killing the child from instinct. He was dangerous monster and he knew it, blood that dried up on his pale face was telling stories he was afraid to tell by his own words. 

Every finger broken for every victim he was served.

His left thumb for the boy he stabbed in the face when he was forced to prove himself, to prove he is capable of handling the knife in his hands...to handle his emotions, to survive. He couldn't unsee the boys face that was all bloody and ugly... messed up with stab wounds he made with those arms of his. 

His left index finger for the soldier captured by Soviets, he was weak and wounded already. He saw those eyes full with fear, even when he didn't understood a single word the foreign soldier said he knew he was begging to be spared. But he ended him with shaking hand and single bullet in the forehead. He was feeling sorry, he regretted it but he had no choice...no damn choice. 

Left middle finger was for the girl he executed with his bare hands, he could still feel her hands tightly holding his wrists trying to free herself. He still could feel the nails that were clawing his skin, the feeling of his hands slipping from her neck while her body was having aftershocks of stress and survival instinct. Even when there was no blood spilled, all that water he drowned her in still soaked into his clothes and skin, to remind him of what he had done that day. 

His left ring finger, for the boy who was brave enough to talk to him. For the boy that made his dim world a little bit brighter, for the boy who was a victim of his rage attack. He didn't meant to kill him, he didn't meant to do it he was blinded by the rage he couldn't control. He beat him up, scratched and punched him till blood was dripping onto the floor...and when there was nothing sharp to grab and harm with it, he picked his own teeth to tear the boys skin to shreds till nothing but a bloody gash nicely sat on the boys neck while river of blood silently poured down his body. The unwanted massacre he caused to someone innocent he genuinely started to care about, he was a monster. 

Left pinkie for the captured woman from his homeland, she pleaded and hoped he'll help her...save her, but he couldn't. He couldn't save her or help her... nothing could. Even if he tried not to, he was cursed and somewhere deep down under his with blood soaked skin and flesh he wanted this. Deep down he was starving...he wanted to devour all the pain, fear and blood he was causing to spill. But he hated to admit it. 

On the other hand, right thumb was for what he became. It was for that monster that wanted to bathe in blood, pain and suffering. For all the pain he caused. Very truly he regretted what he had done, he hated what he was and what was living inside of him. Something that he couldn't control himself. 

Right index finger and middle finger for two boys his age that he executed on command. They disobeyed them...and their former captain wasn't glad...as a punishment the boys were given death sentence. Death sentence that was forced to be done by someone they knew, by someone capable of killing in such a young age. Shivers run down his spine, he'll never forget their screams as he slowly slit their throats. It almost felt like he's about to cry, but no... He does not deserve to cry.

His ring finger for all the people he was rough to, for all the girls he pushed aside when they were searching for someone who would protect them. He deeply regretted his actions...

And his pinkie for the only person he couldn't protect, for the only person that ever truly loved and cared about him. The only person that taught him to speak, read, sing and do right things. He forgot so quickly to do the right things he was taught to do. 

Both of his wrists for all the things he done, to remind him of his sins he will never erase from his mind and heart even if he'll do thousands of good things to pay for his sins and dirty hands. So he broke his hands to never hurt someone again, but he still knew he'll die if they decide he's useless...with his bones snapped in half. And he was hoping for it, for death to come for him...

10 years old and he already wants to die, with the worst sins on his plate and lies shoved down his throat to do something that'll he'll have nightmares about forever. How cruel this place was, he was cursed... everything he touched died. He was meant to stay alone in place like this or die, it would be the same. He was doomed. 

The feeling in his eyes, slightly wet and painful as he blinked. Tears. How long has it been since he truly cried? 5 years ago? 6 years ago? He couldn't remember but he felt the tears he thought he'll never experience again. 

He actually didn't even deserve to cry, it was his fault these people were dead. There was a doubt, he won't go to heaven nor hell... he'll go somewhere into the dark void once he'll die, forever tortured by nightmares of his own dark past he wasn't proud of. His thoughts were lingering in the back of his head, never leaving just echoing over and over again. 

Through cracks that were on the surface of his heart deepened, an open wounds only for him visible. And he broke down after so long he kept his facade over his face and body, all the work he put in it lost again. The tears flowed uncontrollably, soft sobs filling the room consumed by darkness. He was exposed to the dangers of pain that was creeping around him like a shark in the sea, he hated it. Cheeks got wet by tears slowly and even when he tried, there was no way for him to get rid of them. With hands broken and himself too, arms of despair claimed him whole. 

Oh, what have done? Why was he so cruel? This wasn't him! Why was he listening like a dog? He was no animal, no pawn! But where his mind went whenever he was around his superiors. He hated it, he hated to listen to someone else...he was supposed to be superior to them all, even though it was cocky thought it surely was true, it felt like truth. That is probably the reason why he wasn't killed yet like others.

Even when he was through a lot, barely felt any physical pain...this was something else. He had no control over it, it felt different, like as if someone or something was trying to rip his heart out of his chest. He clenched his teeth, holding breath as long as he could... trying to take control, to be the one in charge. 

Sobs died in the void, breaths got heavier while fingers were twitching in distress. The pain in his chest got replaced by the one in his broken hands, it felt better than being hurt emotionally, mentally. Eyes still watery, reflecting light like glass. He breathed out, shakily and quite unsurely, but he did it. Once again feeling a little bit more calm, he did the right thing for once...that was good. 

He pursed his lips, listening to the dead silence that was giving him feeling of freedom and peace.

Emptiness started to spread in his ribcage, he was suffering in silence. Tears slowly dried on his pale cheeks, creating dry paths there on his face. It was just question of time, when will they come and punish him for breaking his libs just to prevent himself from hurting someone else he was supposed to harm.

After all he failed and fade away like all those people he killed with no reason at all, no...there actually was reason. He wanted to survive, he needed to...that's why he fought like hell, every day trying to survive and get place to sleep in and food on his plate. Even when it was torture for him to kill, he had to do it...he had to kill for his own good. In this place everyone only cared about themselves, that was the only way to survive one more day...over and over again. 

The door opened with loud creak, they were heavy metal door. A man stood there, assault rifle in his hand and behind him someone in white. It was the doctor, in this place there were dozens of doctors...he had no chance to memorize their face after all they didn't mattered and were only faceless figures in his story. 

"Номер 79, к вам посетитель. Вести себя." (Number 79, you got a visitor. Behave.) 

The soldier said in firm tone of his voice that sent shivers down his spine, one single look of the soldier made him feel like he did something wrong again. 

The doctor in white coat stepped in, clipboard and quite big case in his hand that seemed to be full of equipment. 

He hated doctors all his life, now he met one almost each day. He doubted that they were just doctors, they looked like something more...

Why would they keep dozens of doctors in here? For them to care about injured children? No...they were killing the ones that got hurt seriously, no special treatment for them. Why was he so special to get one? He hated being this special, he would rather get killed than get his wounds treated. 

The doctor walked in the room, doors closing behind him slowly. He feared what happens next, he feared what was about to happen. It didn't felt safe to be here with the man in white. His throat run dry, dark whispers filled his head while his flight or fight response got to move at the moment. He would fight but was forced to retreat, he was in no condition to fight. 

His eyes followed the doctor who dragged a metal chair that sat in the darkest corner of the room right in front of him, in front of the bed he sat on. Dead silence made his skin full of goosebumps. Chest got slightly tighter as he felt his own heart beat in his head and throat, was this fear? Or overwhelming anxiety? If only he knew the answer but he wasn't a specialist in human feelings he was barely in touch with, these days were making him claw onto anything to push himself forward to another day of surviving. 

"Дай мне руку." (Give me your hand)

The man said, his voice sounding younger it didn't suit his face at all. Black glasses sat on his nose perfectly, few wrinkles on the outer corner of his eyes saying he must be shouting or maybe making faces a lot. There were wrinkles on his forehead too, he surely was frownig a lot like right now he is. He hesitated, slowly and carefully lifted his arm from his lap, letting the doctor touch it.  

The doctor slowly took his hand, examined all the damage in silence. The boy in return examined the doctor, he noticed how pale the doctor is...well not that pale as he was himself but the doctor was quite pale. The fabric of the coat was firm...old and surely hand-me-down. The logo on it was sewn by hand, the colours were faded as well but no wrinkles on the fabric which meant the doctor is making sure this coat is always looking flawless. 

"Ау!"(ouch!)

The boy squirmed when the hands of the doctor squeezed the place where he broke his wrist, his arm started to pulse with pain again. He looked at the man who still held his arm, the doctor haven't looked up at him not even once.

"Ты слишком долго спал..."(You've been sleeping too long...)

The doctor mumbled, what was that about? He asked himself...he was wide awake for few days and nights ...he lost track of time too, so what was the man talking about? 

A sudden movement caught his attention, the doctor looked at him dead in the eyes his features were starting to get blurry and his voice distant...as if he was in a hallway and echoes of voices were slowly disappearing.

"Тебе придется проснуться."(You have to wake up.)

He heard the words clearly. Was he asleep? Maybe...ah, he remembers this...he was there once before but why is he here again? He's not a child anymore right? Or was his life an illusion? Is he still a child? What was going on? He asked himself, disorientation hitting his head like a vehicle running into him at full speed.

How could he not notice he was dreaming earlier? ...the dream feels real, it's one of those vivid dreams again? He had one before...

The surroundings around him spinned and suddenly a feeling of falling took over his body. He screamed shortly, falling on the ground instantly. He yelped but stayed laying on his back, even though it felt like he was falling from a great height he didn't felt pain or else, he was completely fine for sure. A short breath went past his lips, it was awfully quiet in here...was he awake? Slowly he opened his eyes, when did he closed them...? 

He heard silent whispers, it took him a while to recognize the words...

"Он проснулся! Он проснулся!"(He's awake! He's awake!)

The whispers got louder as the objects in front of his eyes were finally sharp, the blurry vision was gone. His breath shivered, it was cold in here...but he wasn't cold, he felt his chest tighten again. 

There were people above him...children his age, all of them having faces covered with a mask that imitated animals. A fox, dog, cat, pig, rooster, cow, owl, bear, rabbit...but all of the masks were same in the eyes. The eyes...

Big and round...black like endless voids, soulless...and dead staring down at him. Goosebumps made way across his whole body, he seen these eyes before...

A boy with a mask representing pig took him by the hand, helping him get up from the ground. He accepted, he actually wasn't even in control of his body...it was an automatic response. Slowly he got on his feet, they felt small and weak. His lips parted, he wanted say something only to notice how dry his lips were...how hot his breath was when the air started to change into a white fog once he let it out. There was snow...a lot of snow, he saw it few times but never had chance to touch it...it was pretty and looked fragile yet smooth...it would probably melt in his hands right? 

"Где твоя маска?"(Where's your mask?)

The pig asked, he had no idea what is the boy talking about. He had no mask...never had one...why was he asking? He thought in silence of his own head. He blinked, staring into those black voids of eyes that were on the mask the boy wore.

"У меня его нет..."(I don't have one...)

He spoke softly, his voice almost disappearing into the deafening silence. He still wasn't sure where he is...but there was a building...quite old and uninteresting, eyes of a normal human being would never stumble upon this building. The dark grey facade covered in bits of snow probably from latest snow blizzard that happened overnight, windows made from many layers of glass so no creeping cold would get inside. What else was there? A forest in the distance... mountains too but there was no path that would lead somewhere else...

"Ты можешь получить это"(You can have this one)

The pig was holding a mask in his hands, quite different than his own... different than anyone elses. This mask wasn't a mask of an animal, it was a mask of skull...face of a human skull. The color white and slightly gray, lower jaw missing...and same dull soulless eyes...just voids like everybody else's. 

He didn't wanted to put it on, disgust was drawing faces into his thoughts but on the surface he stayed still, no grimaces of disgust or fear...just a stare into pigs soulless eyes. The pig put the mask on his face...he wasn't fighting back, he just stood there embracing everything. 

"Ты теперь один из нас!"(You're one of us now!)

This time a fox spoke, it's voice sounded quite happy about the fact he was wearing a mask too. There were animals and him...a dead man's face, a ghost among them. He wasn't supposed to be here...did this even happened? 

He shivered. It felt vivid, he couldn't tell if he was dreaming now, was he dreaming?

A bear took his hand, it felt warm against his skin...only now he noticed how cold his own hands are.

"Ты один из нас"(You're one of us)

He heard them say as his other hand was held by a cat. They started walking with him in circles, the slow steps changing into a hand in hand dance as if they were circling around the fire and dancing... Spinning around with their masks on, claping hands in one moment that had no rhythm while moves got in sync with the cold breeze and words that were softly spoken by young voices that belonged to the kids.

"Ты один из нас"(You're one of us)

They were repeating again and again, the dance getting chaotic. The faces of animals quickly running in and out his face as he was trapped in the middle of the chaos, stomps and clapping getting louder and regular. Animal sounds were made as well, a barking, meowing, growling...it all went in and out his head.

He was trapped in this circle, like in a spiral of ants, like a rat king in a tight space that would make him feel claustrophobic. The world around him seemed to spin faster and faster, his eyes couldn't pick up the animal features anymore but his ears still picked up the sound. But even when he couldn't see the features of the animal faces, the eyes never got blurry, they stayed still sharp. He was being watched...

"Ты помнишь...?"(Do you remember...?)

He heard whispering. What was he supposed to remember? Was there anything to remember? 

It was hard to breathe, his cold hands clawed the wool fabric he wore on top of his clothes as coat that was supposed to protect him from the cold... The fabric was familiar to him, he had this one on when he arrived from his homeland here...

He had no idea how cold it would be there, he hid his body in the wool piece of fabric like right now. The only difference was he did not felt that cold like when he arrived here for the first time. 

"Ты помнишь?"(Do you remember?)

He turned around to where he heard the voice come from only to be greeted by more animal faces and sounds that were blurry in his eyes. His head was in pain, he felt nauseous from how fast the world spinned in front of his eyes. He gasped trying to desperately take some breath in only to realise he couldn't breathe at all. 

His other hand clawed on his neck, why couldn't he breathe?Panic filled his body as all other sounds were replaced by loud whistling that got louder in his ears. He shook his head, world slowly slowing down... slowing down way too much. Movement around him got so slow...but his eyes couldn't make out any of the animal faces he saw before...only the eyes again.

He lost his balance, falling to the ground in slightly faster speed. It was still hard to breathe but it wasn't so cold anymore, he wasn't so cold...

He clenched his teeth as he curled up into a ball trying to make himself as small as possible. 

He felt it...he remembered.

He remembered the feeling...the feeling of heat, the feeling of his heart being locked up in a small metal box as it slowly got heated up till the metal was glowing yellow. Till he screamed, till he was able to feel pain, till his eyes still could see the red lights through the watery filter that bloomed in them. He remembered the pain, the lights, the heat, the screams. He remembered how he dug his nails into the armrests so hard till his fingers bled. 

He remembered it, he did remember...

His memories were the killer, his memories were the monsters, dreams, murderers, artists of his future.

How could he knew they'll all get killed? How could he knew? Among the animal faces he was the only one carrying the mask of a dead man...The death. Because he was the death and all of them died...they died like pigs ready for slaughter. 

Why wasn't he slaughtered with them? He didn't wanted this life...he didn't wanted it...but was given it.

Many times got killed and brought back, wounded and sewn up...he didn't wanted to do this all anymore. But it followed him everywhere, dreams got him back even when in reality he was somewhat different....

This all felt too real, too surreal...

So he screamed, hoping for someone to get him out of here, get him out of the chaos, out of the memories that only brought pain and bizarre amount of torture. 

The heat got stronger, it felt like his heart is going to melt to ashes and fade away, it burned...he needed water to put the flames out. The flames inside his body...it was painful. 

Tears rolled down his face as he writhed in convulsions, his breaths getting shallow and fast. He wanted to get out from this dream...no it wasn't dream, it was nightmare.

And so he screamed out of pain, out of desperate try to get out, out of agony that didn't wanted to let go.

He screamed till his throat run dry and it was painful to continue, he didn't wanted to give up...he didn't wanted to give in ...this pain was his but he refused it...refused to go through it again.

He wanted to end it all.

Eyes filled with tears closed for what seemed like seconds to him, he felt weak touches on his body almost unnoticeable...they didn't felt real until they got much more stronger and...real. They felt real.

He opened his eyes, more tears running down his face, the vision of animal face and soulless eyes slowly getting lost in the features of what seemed to be a human face. He blinked a few times, the watery filter in his eyes getting thinner. The human face getting sharper and the ringing in his ears was slowly fading. He gasped in desperate need for air, he completely forgot he was still screaming...it was silent screaming but still. He took a few breaths in and out, he was hyperventilating.

"Slow down! Slow down! It's okay it's all fine! Shhhhhh"

The words finally got clearly delivered to his ears, they sounded...like they were full of worry and fear...even when he did not understood a thing, the eyes of that person above him were calming him down, calming down the storm his dreams caused. The blue and green were mixing together in a beautiful way, pupils were small but irises were...like a calm sea and a forest during spring sunny afternoon...

He breathed out, he didn't wanted to stop looking into those eyes that belonged to someone else...but he was slowly drifting away from reality.

The world around him got dark and the last thing he saw were these eyes, he hoped to see them again... someday...if they were actually real. Were they real? ...he had no idea but he hoped they were.

"What was that?"

The boy breathed out, letting go of the sick younger boys wrists that now finally drifted off to peaceful sleep. Everything was alright until some kind of psychosis hit the sick boy that made him scream and shake...his whole body looked like it's in spasm. 

"You okay Eli?"

The doctor asked, helping the boy set the other unconscious one properly on the bed. This never happened before since his father brought the boy here, it's been two months now and this was second time he seen the boy awake. He nods, he sure was okay but he was afraid the unconscious one isn't. 

"Yeah..yeah I'm good...is he alright though?"

Eli asked the doctor who started checking the boys body functions, somehow he didn't minded to stay here and watch over the boy anymore...he was glad actually and created some kind of bond with him too. Even when the boy was unconscious he loved to be here, learn russian, drink tea, bring new flowers and watch over the boy.

"Yes he's fine... heartbeat is steady, breathing nice and clear... everything seems okay..."

The doctor sighed, fixing the IV. Eli sat down on the edge of the boys bed, he felt his own heart race...this was quite an action. Eli watched the doctor leave slowly, probably for a new liquid nutrition pack...

"I'll be right back"

The doctor said, leaving the room right after. Eli took few deep breaths, how come the boy scared him so much? He looked at the boy, he was so pale...his usually rosy lips now pale as well. Shivers ran down Eli's back, hesitantly he touched the boys cheek wiping down tears that stained them. He was wondering...how much the boy must have suffered to have these horrible attacks. He didn't knew much but his medical documentation said he is 18 years old, he already has PTSD, severally broken bones in his body, scars that were similar to a torture by electricity since it was impossible get so many scars like these ones by natural lightning. His mental state wasn't diagnosed yet though since he was not fully awake and operated his body himself. He now lives on medical support only...but it was alright there was a chance he'll sooner or later wakes up from this coma of his. It was quite sad though...he was so young and Eli barely knew a thing about him. Eli knew age but not name, knew nationality but not how the boy got himself all the way to Angola. So Eli improvised and named the boy himself, it was quite improper to just call him "The boy" or "That russian kid" and "that russian teen" was not good too.

"Jeez you spooked me there...Raiden, hope you'll like the name when you'll wake up..."

Eli bit his lip, watching in silence the boy who's skin was cold to touch. How he'll be like when he'll be awake? Will he be scared or aggressive? Maybe kind or silent? He hoped for best though, he learned russian just for him so he can speak with him as well. 

"Have somebody ever told you you're mysterious and interesting even when you sleep? No? Well now I told you..."

He smiled as he gently brushed few pale hairs out the boys face, it was strange to see a kid so young with white hair. But Eli loved it, he already had a friend who's hair were like embers In the fire and gas mask over his face...now he knew person who looked like he had hair made out of spiderwebs...or snow.

He sighed, it was hard to even keep up with all this these days...in few months he'll meet his own twin brother after...well almost 18 years? Maybe more? It was hard to remember him as well...last time he saw David...well, they were children. Young and dumb, not aware of what was going on in their lovely family...and whole world. He was wondering if they'll get along as they used to when they were kids, there was fear they won't and that would be huge pain in the ass...

Eli wouldn't stand to argue with his own brother from morning to night over and over again, that would be exhausting as well. 

There was actually so much going on but Eli tried to not stress over anything. He retreated his hand back to his side, he couldn't shake off all the things that were filling his mind. He had to keep an eye on Raiden, be great leader for his team, look responsible and good in his fathers eyes...there was so much things he could screw up or else....

"Well...Hang in there, I'm going to get you some fresh lilies...I hope you actually like lilies, I personally think they match your hair but roses would match your lips and cheeks. What do you think?"

Eli mumbled, eyes fixed on the other boy who slept like a sleeping beauty...he actually was one. For a boy he looked too pretty but for a girl too handsome. A smile slowly bloomed on Eli's face as he stood up.

"You're not much of a talker are you?... anyway, I'll be back soon...take care"

In slow pace he left the room slightly unwillingly, he was slightly afraid something might happen to Raiden while he'll be gone even though it might not be possible.

Sometimes he had to get over his fears to move on... that's how it all worked in life.

Chapter Text

What was it? All that bright light...? Was he finally dead, in heaven? It felt like he was finally...
For over a decade he was in pain every moment, every moment of his existing was filled with unwanted pain, until now. Everything felt so...soft, warm and painless... Where was he? This was not heaven, heaven did not exist and if it did he would not be there. In hell would be his place where he would forever be a slave and carry all the dead to paradise, and maybe once after thousand years he will be free to leave hell too. If that'll be possible.
Slowly and carefully, his eyelids fluttered open now recognizing the ceiling above his head. What was this place again? Was he back again? No... it was too silent, too peaceful. He was somewhere else, somewhere nicer and much more... What was the word? Safer? Was he actually safe? There was no proof at all if yes, but for now it did not mattered. Curiosity made his eyes wander around the bright room, from right to left and back again. There was something he was searching for but he could not remember what was it, maybe the silent danger that was lurking in the shadows wherever he went? No, something else...something that made his heart beat slower, something that made him feel safe out there... but it was missing here, he did not knew where it was or why was it not in here with him, maybe it was just hallucination and that thing did not existed. Ah yes, now he remember what is this place. It felt like ages he was not conscious...
He was brought here by these foreign people, they saved him from dying out there in Angola region. Yes he was greatful, greatful for saving but also for being spared. If he would be found by someone else... who knows if his life would be spared like right now?
A shallow breaths was all he could take in, it felt like his lungs got so small over the time he was sleeping...or was it sleeping? It felt more like coma. With the little of his strength he slowly yet so carefully sat up, suddenly he felt like a toddler who hardly sat up by himself. Limbs and all muscles in them felt like jelly, wet cabbage that could not be used so swiftly, precisely and nicely like before. One glimpse at them and he knew something was off. All the muscles he had were pretty much gone, not like he was built up like some freak... he had just some pretty muscle shape that would clearly tell to anyone he is an active soldier, how long was he sleeping? How long was he gone? All his muscles and weight he had was lost due to weeks? Months? Of long sleep, maybe it was few months? Four? Five? Seven maybe?
Sigh pushed itself past his chapped lips he immediately licked, a glass of water would be nice, refreshing too... Teeth sank into the soft flesh on his lips, he went so fast to his old habits... biting his lips like there was no tommorow, getting rid of all the old dry skin till all that was left was a bleeding sensitive skin that was hiding all along under the dry bits of skin that build up on his lips. Metallic taste swirled on his tongue, it was so familiar...
As he bit his lips again, eyes curiously traveled around the room examining every little detail that he could notice from his bed. There was a doubt, if he tried to get up on his feet he would fall... again. His feet gave off a feeling like they were not here at all but still he felt them so it was clear he was not paralysed or worse. To his liking it was too silent and temperature too hot, he was used to any kind of sound...yells, gunshots, explosions, pleading, crying, raindrops, beeping, running engine, animals, talking, singing...but never this uncomfortable silence that was almost deafening and sickening hot temperature that made his body sweat.
There were books on a nearby table, all of them were dictionaries translating words and phrases from English to Russian and back. There was not a bit of dust on them... so they were surely used not so long ago... as same like the chair that was very close to the bed he silently sat on and inspected every little thing around him... trying to find out soon enough who is watching over him while he sleeps. Eyes slowly moved to a table that was in a furhest corner of the neat bright room. There was a very pretty vase made out of clear glass, ornaments were ground into the glass of the vase... the work was so precise... who would have such a patience with that? Who would give all that hard work into a piece of glass that can be broken so easily...
The vase was occupied by lillies, white and very pretty flowers that seemed to be so majestic for a flower...  leaves were slightly dried up on verge of falling off the bud but they still looked gorgeous. He was wondering now... were they for him or a simple decoration in the room he was staying in? If he was honest he would say himself the flowers were not here when he was awake for the first time in here... and now they were here, months later from his very first awakening. It was a soothing thought there was someone who genueinly brought them just for him... but he was sure there was not a single person who would do that, they did not knew him not even a little... regardless of where they found him they did not knew anything about him. They could knew how he looked like, how he smelled like, what language he spoke or his medical condition but not who as a person he was. Foolish people, what if he planned this all along and came here to infiltrate lethaly every single one of them? They probably did not thought about that... but in the other hand he was defenceless now. There were no weapons he could get his hands on plus his hands and legs would not cary him far without him falling over and over again giving them all a little comedy show before he would be killed without mercy. This time he was not the hunter who was superior in every possible situation, no, he was a pray now... vulnerable to every little thing, everyone passing by... He shall obey if he wants to survive for a little longer... One part of him yelled desperately it wants to live so bad it would be down for anything while the other part was silent. Silent in a way shivers ran down his spine, hands were cold and heart was galloping quite fast. It seemed like it was some sort of emotion but he alone could not really tell if it was or no...
Chest of his tightened as long as he spent more and more time thinking about the other silent part of himself, trying to find out what it was actually trying to tell him not being aware of that this part of him would silently kill him if he was not careful enough. But he was so keen to find more about this feeling of this... he already fell down the endless rabbit hole he should have avoided. All these dark things from his dreams, creatures and faces, ugly memories he had seen through his life... quietly lingered in the shadows... stretched their arms to touch him from accross the room and it almost seemed like for a while they were close enough to grab him, take him down the rabbit hole his life dug for him. Sharp shape of eyes stood out of them all... of all the faces he had seen in the dark shadows that only got sharper each minute...
He knew these eyes, he knew that face they belonged to. Pupils as small as pinheads, Irises blank... mirorring blood that dripped down it's sickly pale face... The creature bared it's teeth at him, sharp as knives... teeth that sat nicely in a smile full of madness. His breath hitched, the stare was cold... weak limbs of his started to shake like leaves in autumn wind, he was choking on his shallow breaths because they were just not enough for him, so he gasped for more in desperate need for it. If only he could look away, if only he could... His own eyes got watery in few seconds, he felt like this awful feeling is going to suffocate him... and he will die in pathetic silence on verge of crying. His heart hammered against his ribcage so loudly he could feel it and hear it clearly in his ears. He would scream so loudly to call anyone close by but there was lump in his throat that told him not to... he would suffocate if he screamed for help, if he looked away from the creature... it would ran right at him from the dark shadow and kill him...
His arms felt like they were full of ants... it was tingling... yet he could not move them at all, he was frozen in place like a marble statue. The desperate gasps for every little bit of air made his head hurt, was he going mad? Was he going crazy?
He bit down his tongue as hard as he could, he was not really aware of that if he bites down a little stronger... he could actually bite off his own tongue with ease. The surroundings he was aware of before slowly faded into the back of his head... the shadows swallowed him whole, he could hear the screams, yells, pleading, crying, gunshots, buzzing, explosions...no, he preffered silence now, these awful sounds...he could not stand them anymore but they were everywhere not stopping anytime soon... and he was scared... so afraid and lost in the shadows that ate him up like a shark it's prey. The silence now felt way more soothing then before, it might have been dead but these sounds were much more terrifying then he actually thought. Why was he suddenly scared of them? He never was... so why now? Did he lost all his habits from the past? To hear once in a while someone die, shoot, throw a granade or execute someone? Did he grow distant to it all already? He gasped for more air but it still did not seemed to be enough for him, he would tear up his own throat just to get more air... he could not breathe... he was choking. The tingling in his limbs did not stopped even when he brought palms to his neck, scratching the smooth and delicate skin there till the area was bright red, till the delicate skin was torn apart by the nails he unmercifully dragged across the area over and over again. It left only ugly deep scratches that slowly got bloody, sticky liquid was nicely scooped up by his nails that grew long, yet he was unaware of everything... of what was going on around him... of what he was doing to himself. He wanted to run away, run away from this terryfic daydream... but how could he run when he could not even scream? How could he escape when the mad creature stood right in front of him waiting patiently for him to look away for a second... before finally striking. It was so close yet so far away... but still he was so afraid... was it even fear? This feeling that tightened ropes around his chest and heart? Was it panic? Was it anxienty? He could not tell... he did not knew and that terryfied him even more... that he did not knew anything of what was happening to him now. He could feel the shivers that ran down his spine... how he wished to go back to his dreamless sleep again...

"Please!! Look at me, come on!!"

There was a voice... very distant from him but he heard it over the chaos of horrific things that was happening around him in this deep ugly rabbit hole he fell into, this rabbit hole he desperately wanted to leave no matter at what cost. Where did the voice came from? He wished to hear it again, hear it once again so it will guide him out of here...
The voice felt much more safer than anything else around him... he wanted to follow it so badly, he wanted...

"You can do it! Come back to me, I know you can hear me!"

There it was again, the voice that would guide him out of here safely, like a mother that cares for her pups so much... taking them away from the danger that follows them. Maybe all the words were foreign to him, he did not understand a single word but the voice was telling him sweetly he is safe with the person who speaks to him. So he tried, slowly climbing up the rabbit hole, making his way away from the nightmares that lingered around him as if they were real...but deep down he knew they were real, they were real because he had seen them all. The nightmares, they were his memories... they were real more than anything else... and there was so many of his kind living these nightmares as well. He gasped for air again, wheezing...

"Yes! Yes! Come back"

He was so close, so close... the voice was so close... he was sure he can touch it soon. He could not tell what the voice was saying...but it felt like it was calling him back to reality...
He was weak but pushed himself regardless of his physical or mental strength, he just wanted to get out of here, away from the hands that dragged him back to darkness and endless terror of madness. He cried out, hoping to yell for help but only nonsensical gibberish came out his lips, his tongue stiff and painfull from how hard he bit it down without even knowing. The real world was in his reach, all he could do was try and grab the ropes the voice was tossing for him... so he can easily climb up from the darkness. So he tried, climbed.

"That's it, Yes you're here... You're here with me"

He desperately clawed the shirt of a person that held his hands by wrists close to their chest, preventing him from completely tearing up his own throat to shreds. Deep down he was glad for it even when he did not knew the person at all. He breathed sharply in and out, in and out...his mouth was dry like handfull of sand that was forced down his throat. He blinked as he frantically looked around trying to understand what was happening to him, how many people was here, what was he doing to himself. There was so many questions he had, so many things he wanted to do but was unable to. Cheeks of his were wet, stained by tears that spilled in his nightmareish daydream... only now he noticed. Hands were still tingling and trembling so badly, if he held a glass of water by himself, no water would be left in the glass... and probably not even the glass would be whole. He was sure he would drop it very easily. He swalloved, his throat reminding him again the dryness... it was unbeliavable how aware he was now. Now he felt very much ashamed, he would not be if only his bladder did not betrayed him. He swalloved all his pride, shame and skin biting fear overflowed his body. Anxienty choked him now, what will they think of him? That he is just useless little brat that cannot control it's bladder well? Tears once again filled his already watery eyes. The worst was he did not knew what to do, confusion and fear was holding onto his brain not leaving him alone for a second.

"Hey, Hey it's okay... don't worry, shhhh... shhhhh"

The voice of the person soothed him, trying to make him feel less afraid, less confused. He had seen one doctor and a nurse running around the room, he had no idea when they all came... just a little while ago he was alone with himself only... he could not be left alone with himself, he seen what it does to him... not the loneliness but he to himself when he is all alone, his own mind is betraying him. But it felt better to have that voice close enough, so close he could actually reach the person it belongs to. He could not imagine how kind and self-sacrificing person they must be... How long they sat here trying to bring him back safely without harming him more... how long they talked to him too... He would thank them thousand of times even when he knew it would not be possibly enough as a repayment of their kindness... but he still wanted to do it if only he was able to speak their language and speak in general.

"Is he okay?"

The person that soothed him asked while one of their hands made circles on his back, he did not knew who are they talking to, hell he did not even seen the face of the person that held him in their arms. He was too focused on everything else then what he truly wanted to be focused on. The doctor looked at him, eyes squinting while eyebrows knitted together. The man seen what his shamefull bladder did, but even when he just waited to be laughed at... it never came. The doctor just nods as he stepped closer to him, no fast movements, hands always placed so he can clearly see them... and that helped him to calm down as well. A hand that belonged to doctor slowly took him by the chin, softly and carefully. There was a flash light in his other hand. He knew this, back there in GRU they did this too, examining his eyeballs like fishes in aquarium. Yet this was completely different. The doctor did not spoke to him, he just gestured with his index finger 'up', so he looked up obediently, slightly fearing what might happen if he disobeys them. Will he be punished like in GRU? Will it be as painful as he remembers?
The doctor pointed downwards with his finger now, then to righ and then left, finally finishing the eye examination as he turned off his pocket flash light. Now he took a look at the neck area, making him look slightly up as he silently examined the red area on his neck.

"He is slightly shaken up from the panic attack but he is okay, his neck is pretty bad though... we'll bandage the neck, take him for a wash and give him some rest... that is all he needs now until we figure out what is his exact condition."

The doctor backed off while the nurse slowly took the thin blanket off of his legs, now he seen himself that his bladder betrayed him pretty badly. Wet spot was very visible under him making him feel so much shame, if he was not already crying he would start again. The person holding him just sat in silence until he spoke softly again, keeping their voice nicely low.

"I'll take him for a wash, don't worry I will be carefull. I'll bring him back for the bandaging later... is that okay?"

"Yes of course it is, after all it is your duty to watch over the patient, if you do not mind, I will go update his medical documentation... I am suspecting the condition of the patient might be much more serious but I might be making camel from mosquito, I will let you know when I will be one hundred percent sure of my diagnosis."

All he could do for now was to watch silently how the two are talking, he tried to pick up on the language, trying to understand just a little but it was highly difficult and useless. He did not understood a single thing the two were talking about which made him feel insecure, scared and slightly anxious. He wanted to know what they were talking about so he will avoid the anxious feeling of danger. He bit his lip, trying as hard as he could to not cry out loud and not demand answers. But even if he was not crying, extreme anxienty was blocking his way again. He felt useless. The sudden slow movement of him being lifted up bridal style as if he did not weighted anything, caught his full attention, only now he looked at the person he felt so safe with. It was not a man...more like a boy in his early twenties... maybe younger... but nicely toned, skin slightly tan, hair like rays of warm summer sun, eyes calm... green and blue like an ocean. The eyes... Yes only these eyes could calm him down so unbeliavably much. The anxious feeling got slightly muted yet was still present. Without a word he was carried out the room somewhere else, he had no idea where but with this person he felt safe everywhere.... Somehow he knew he can trust this boy, trust with absolutely everything. He kept his hands close to his own chest, trusting the other he will not be dropped on the hard tile floors that were all around the place that slightly looked like a hospital. The place was neat, quite empty too but all the hallways looked almost the same, like a maze of long corridors without an end.
He blinked curiously when they finally entered a room that was surely meant for patients to wash. There was some sort of privacy in the shower corner but he could not get up himself, he was not sure if he could even stand on his own while being laid against the tiled wall... he would still fall. Slowly he was sat down on a nearby bench, shivers ran down his spine when he felt with his toes how cold the tiled floor is... but it also felt relieving. In silence and curiosity he then watched the young teen that walked to a nearby tub, setting the water and it's temperature carefully. He never had someone who would willingly take care of him like this strange guy who had power to make him calm just by hearing his voice. And it somehow felt good to be cared about so much, it unlocked a very distant memory he thought he forgot about. It was about his mother that truly cared about him as much as this guy did, she did everything just so he can be happy and feel good no matter what. The teen soon came back again, now kneeling right in front of him while keeping silent for a while. What was he doing? He asked himself as he kept his hesitant gaze on the older teen. It seemed like he is thinking, ocean eyes darted from side to side... maybe there was something important he needed to do? The older teen raised his eyebrows while he finally breathed in, eyes brighter way more than before.

"Мне пока придется снять с тебя халат... не волнуйся, я не буду смотреть, ладно? (I will have to take your robe off for now... don't worry I won't look, okay?)"

He was flabbergasted by the others speech, not about what he said but how well he spoke. Till now nobody seemed to speak his language... if he remembers correctly, this guy did not spoke his language as well... he had to learn it while he was taking his sweet time sleeping. He quickly collected himself, nodding hesitantly while he looked down in silent shame. He was not used to be carried, nicely asked to or washed by someone, this was completely new to him...why did he felt so vulnerable? There was no way he could describe this feeling himself... The other noticed the strange behavior but kept silent for a moment, it seemed like he understands the struggles he goes trough right now.

"Эй, это может случиться с каждым... не вините себя за это... (Hey, this can happen to anyone... don't blame yourself for this...)"

The older teen mumbled softly, now beaming slight smile at the other to cheer him up. In all honesty Eli found a load of pity for the younger boy, once he finally fully woke up he fell into terrible panic attack he later found him in and now he have to deal with a shame and shyness because the panic made him lose control of his own bladder. Of course he did not blame him, it was not his fault too... he was wondering what was the panic attack about, when he found him he looked so lost and scared... staring into the distance shell shocked without blinking, not responding to calls and yells nor touches... He felt relieved when it was over and the younger boy was safe and sound, back to his senses. With a smile he helped to get the other boy from the ugly green hospital dress he wore, it was time for a good wash anyway. He also could not wait to let his other friends meet the younger boy he named Raiden... oh, he actually have not told the boy about his new name yet... It was not so important right now though. For now Eli focused on Raiden, he did not wanted to give the other another panic attack or worse hurt him, he kept his movement slow with hands in the others sight. The hospital thin greenish dress came off nicely once he untied the neat ribbons in the back, now leaving the pale boy revealed way too much... but he have not looked nor glanced once at him because he wanted to keep his word and not look. The last thing he wanted was to betray the boys trust in him, already Eli had very nice relationship with him that mostly contained intensive care Eli was willing to give to Raiden anytime, he did not wanted to ruin it anytime soon. Quickly he tossed the dress aside into a big bin that was stationed near a wall, the clothing fell into the bin like a ball falling through a basketball hoop. If he would be alone, he might be celebrating his impresive clean shot but not today... he was on duty after all.

"Хорошо, поехали... (Alright here we go...)"

Eli announced his approach once he was sure everything was ready, warm water, nice amount of soap, towels... Carefully he squated down, his eyes pinned on the others face while he lifted him up again, making his way to a tub he prepared for Raiden. As he stopped infront of the tub, he could sense the fear, shyness, anxienty... that built up in the other boy. For some reason Eli hated to see the boy so down, one look in his eyes could tell him a story of shame, saddness, anxienty, fear, stress... panic. He could feel pity for the boy, was there a way he could help him and get rid of all his pain? In all honesty, if he could help he immediately would. Finally with a silent sigh he set Raiden down into the tub as he made sure not to recklessly drop him but gently set him down. Only when he was sure the boy was okay and safe, he sat himself on the edge of the tub, checking with the tips of his fingers the temperature of the water.
His eyes would dart back at the pale face that belonged to the boy who was awfully quiet, even awake he did not talked much. But he was not here to judge, he himself liked to talk if he had someone near him... also he wanted to make the other feel comfortable with him.

"So...um, we haven't introduced ourselves to each other properly yet... wait, sorry... Мы еще толком не представились друг другу. (We haven't properly introduced ourselves to each other yet.)"

Eli quickly corrected himself once he realised he was not talking in language the boy understands, on the other hand Raiden was slowly learning from Eli and his speech. He actually liked this... english phrase that got translated to him right after... actually it was smart, he might learn something himself like this. Finally he payed his attention to the blond teen again who reached his arm towards him slowly, for some reason he did not understood what does the older teen want... until it slowly clicked in. Is it like this thing other people call a... hand shake? Was it even called that way? He never shook hands with someone, yes... nobody really wanted to touch him, everyone was afraid of him, disgusted to even be near... treated him like a low life he was. His throat was dry still... there was a lot he could remember from his past, a lot of awful things, painful ones too... he hated to remember them but even when he tried, at the end he always ended up thinking about them. His lips slightly parted, it almost seemed like he wants to say something but he did not... he stared at the others hand, gesture alien to him. How does a person shake hands with someone anyway? He had no idea, his social skills were so low... he felt really awkward for that. Oh how useless he was, he could not do a simple hand shake. Like a true savior, Eli did noticed something was wrong... so he decided to help, carefully grabbing the boys hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Я Эли (I'm Eli)"

He introduced himself by his first name. He doubt that Raiden will actually say his name now, when he talked to him for the first time he said he does not have a name.... not a singe person on earth would not remember their name unless some brain injury or something else?... At least he was sure of it. Color drained from the boys face even more than before, Eli thought it was not possible for a person to be so pale but now he saw it is more than possible. Was Raiden that... stressed, scared or nervous to tell his name or was it usual for him to get so pale when a question is aimed at him? Silence roamed the two until Raiden lowered his eyes, quietly watching the water in the tub he sat in. Now it was clear to Eli, now he understood.... Raiden truly did not knew his name, he was not given one or had a memory gap. So he was a child soldier taken from his famlily when he was very little for sure, but that still does not explain the absence of his name and pretty much everything... he did not remember anything about himself. Name, surename, exact birth date, parents....

"If you... um, Если ты не помнишь своего имени... Я дал тебе его, когда ты спал... (If you don't remember your name... I have given you one when you were sleeping...)"

Suddenly the boy seemed more alive, his eyes pinned on Eli as if he was a very important piece of art. Normaly he would not care at all, his name was not important, the most significant thing were his skills and weaponry knowledge he had. Yet now he was truly interested, he never had name... well maybe he had...very long time ago when he lived with his family but he did not remember it anymore. There was a spark in his eyes, spark that whispered tales about hope and curiosity he had yet never wanted to show... until this very moment. Only now Eli smiled slightly, seeing the other boy this... alive was like a big bite of serotonin he needed.

"Well... you might not understand the word properly, Другими словами... я зову тебя...Райден. (In other words... I call you... Raiden.)"

Eli announced proudly, there was no other name he thought of when he looked at the other teen. He was like a spark in human skin, lightning that danced around the room calmly showing nothing but endless beauty to a naked eye. And Raiden loved the name, it sounded more... like he was a human being and not a possesion other can own for their own entertaintment. The name gave him some sort of... hope, a ticket for his humanity, new sheet of paper he can write on and actually be someone else... someone much more better than he was and is. Yes, the name was his new persona he could use, new identity... no more number 079, no more commands and torture he needed to keep silent about... no more of that. He was Raiden now, a normal boy who was slightly sick in the head but still normal kid... He wanted to live in an illusion where everything is fine and good for a while, even though he knew he will never be fine and nothing will ever change about his life ever. But for now... just for a moment... 

"Тебе нравится это имя? (Do you like that name?)"

With smile Eli asked, eyes slightly sparkling like little stars. He registered that Raiden slightly cheered up, did that meant he liked the name? He really could not tell himself, Raiden was not really expressive... well he certainly was not expressive nor talkative at all. But the silence was interrupted by Raiden himself, no he did not spoke... he just nodded shortly. That was all he need from Raiden, just a small gesture... There was a light and ticklish feeling in his chest, if only he had seen Raiden smile too... but no, at least Raiden tried to comunicate with him.

"Well...we're doing big steps together..."

He mumbled for himself only as he reached for bar of soap, only now he noticed the slight change in Raidens face. His monotone face was interrupted by an innocent expression with eyebrows slightly raised, finally he was slightly expressive... that made Eli happy, they were making progress. Raiden was eager to know what the other teen just said since he had no knowledge about english at all. Eli smiled, carefully begining to wash the others tender, scarred and tattooed skin...begining on the hands so Raiden will not be frightened by all these touches.

"Я сказал, что мы добиваемся прогресса в этом... нашем взаимодействии. (I said we're doing progress in this... interaction of ours.)"

Raiden nods again, finally understanding what the other teen said. He watched the bubbles that got slowly created on his own skin by the bar of soap Eli used so carefully, if he ever got treated like this back in GRU he would probably defend himself.... he would be strongly against this but now... he felt so safe with Eli. The touches were invading his personal space, his intimacy but it was not meant in bad way... Eli did not meant to harm him in any way and he tried to make himself sure. Gently Eli moved to wash Raidens back, passing the long scars that spreaded out like branches of tree in every way possible... in the middle of his pale back they had a core from where they grew. At the core they were thick and as they branched out they began to thin out till they faded for human eye. He never seen these scars on a human being, he was sure he never seen these himself... not even his father had such a brutal scars after his helicopter crash back in 1975... He wondered, how many times Raiden got strucked by lightning to have these scars permanently... No, he was not strucked by lightning... he was tortured by electric shocks. But how many times and why? What did Raiden do to deserve such a punishment? Who did this to him? Such a lethal punishment on a kid that hardly knows who as a human being it is. But there was a lot he wanted to ask Raiden but did not wanted to trigger his mental or physical sickness.

"...Что ты видел? Я имею в виду, что ты увидел после того, как проснулся... ты выглядел испуганным... (...What did you see? I mean, what did you see after you woke up... you looked terrified...)"

Finally Eli asked trying to do more cleaning than examining and touching Raidens tattoos and scars. It sure was very fresh topic to talk about but he needed to know... Raiden already grew close to him so he cared about him, about very much everything that happened to the other teen. But even though Eli did not meant to harm him, the question in perticular was harming him. What was he supposed to tell Eli? That he had seen his nightmares from past that followed him everywhere? That he had seen things that made his blood run cold? Heart in his chest started it's galloping again, he was scared to talk about it... he was frightened by what he had seen, knowing all well that every little thing he had seen was a nightmare made by his own hands. He himself was the one who brought these nightmares into his life... he had only himself to blame. What was he supposed to tell him? That he had seen terrible things that were so awful they hunt him till this day? That he witnessed disgusting murders, genocide, torture, child labor, forced slavery, human experimentation... so many things that made him want to vomit. If he could he would forget everything... but he could not, it just was not possible. It would be impossible even to forget it all, the darkness that lurked in the back of his head... it never left him. He trapped himself with things he couldn't undo. So he chose silence, wise and kind one that would avoid the truth and lies as well.

"все в порядке, если ты не хочешь мне говорить. (it's alright if you don't wanna tell me.)"

Finally he heard them, the words that set his mind free. It came like a rainbow after a storm, the feeling of freedom. Not total one but still it felt somehow great. A little while of silence, pleasant one, passed. Even when Eli did not got an answer as he wanted, he still felt deep connection with the other boy...
He himself did not grew in pleasant place, hell he was not even born like a normal kid he was just made because of Cipher. If it was not for Cipher he would never be born, his own origin was complicated and alien to him the same was like Raidens own. But he couldn't help himself still, he wanted to know Raiden and his origin that seemed so mysterious to everyone. The curiosity was present at all times...
There was a lot that they knew about Raiden but also ton of things they did not, like why are his scars looking like that? Why are they like lightning spreading across the sky during storm? Or why was he wandering grounds of Angola so aimlessly all alone? Or what is the cause of his injuries and whole mental and physical state? Yes there is a possibility Raiden used to be a child soldier but Russian one? He had never seen a caucasian child as a child soldier in African war zone, it seemed strange. He even doubted that Raiden was a child soldier and not a prisoner on the run instead... Raiden isn't already in age of child soldier so what is the truth? What or who Raiden actually is? Doctor once informed him about abnormal heartbeat Raiden had, it was giving Eli slight feeling the boy isn't really normal... he had secrets he didn't planned to share yet for sure.

"Ты, должно быть, голоден, да? (You must be hungry huh?)"

Eli was finally brave enough to ruin the silence since the bath time was almost over, actually he should have asked much sooner. Even if Raiden was fed by that "hospital packed food", it won't keep his stomach full for ages like regular food. He had this experience. He put down the bar of soap now walking towards the bench for clean towel after washing down the soap nicely, and as a gentleman he dared himself to mark as, he brought it back to the bath finally looking at the other boy that seemed more and more alive each passing minute. As before he kept his promise never invading with his eyes Raidens privacy while helping him with standing up and wrapping his pale and skinny body in a towel. He could notice Raiden actually nodding his head and agreeing to his question, he was hungry after all but still didn't say a single word to him. Maybe later he'll feel comfortable with talking back to him. As before he brought Raiden back on a bench, sitting him down carefully.

"Я правда не хочу снова одевать тебя в это... Давай найдем тебе одежду получше? (I don't really wanna dress you in these again... Let's find you better clothes shall we?)"

He smiled at the other, pushing few of white locks away from his face with all of his gentlesness. It seemed to surprise the other, his blue eyes wide and searching for something located behind Eli's face... or maybe somewhere in him. For a second it seemed like Raiden is trying to search for something in the others mind maybe, was he a psychic like his other friend? No... he didn't felt the pressence of someone other in his mind... but he felt something different... it felt like for a while he was surrounded by some electric field. His body hair stood up for a second and cold breeze ran up his spine. It felt weird... was it Raiden? Or just his own feelings?

"Извините... я заблудился в своих мыслях. (Sorry... I got lost in my thoughts.)"

Eli apologized quickly when he realized he was staring at the other boy for too long motionless, the feeling of shame strucked him. He didn't meant to stare. Quickly standing up he avoided the embarassment climb deeper into his body, it would be better for him to go get some better clothes for Raiden. Silently he walked towards the exit opening the door swiftly, only before leaving actually informing the boy where he is going.

"Я принесу тебе новую одежду, ладно? Оставайся здесь, я сейчас вернусь. (I'll go fetch some new clothes for you okay? Stay here, I'll be right back.)"

Raiden was left in silence all alone again, the sound of water drops falling from the tap into the sink nearby was louder than before invading the silence. The rhythm of the falling water drops was quite calming, telling silent tales and interrupting deadly thoughts that lingered in the dark. The cold from the floor tiles again made his feet curl, he liked that kind of cold since he grew in the lost facility somewhere in siberia where the coldness of snow always calmed his mind. Even when he truly hated the place he was made in... he had deep bond with the enviroment that brought slight peace into his violant soul. The same cold that clung onto his bare skin right now was like a reminder of his previcious life... or at least his previcious life he was forced to live. On the other side there was something else that was affecting his skin, the very familiar uncomfortable feeling of his own sweat that he truly hated to feel especially on his scarred back. It wasn't cold enough in here for his liking, he wasn't made for this climate... Maybe somewhere in the past he could be running in this heat with ease but not anymore... Raiden breathed out, shaking one of the towels off his shoulders exposing his back to the bathrooms coldish air, that felt slightly nice... yes it did. He couldn't deny that he was a creature made to live in the cold climate, it was one of the things he surely knew about himself. The silence was interrupted by footsteps and soon by door opening, Raiden knew these footsteps... or at least he memorized them like everything else around him. It was his flaw that was fored onto him by them, GRU. It was better for missions and properly keeping in mind the intel set by them about the mission.

"Я вернулся, принес тебе разную одежду, которую ты можешь надеть. (I'm back, I got you some variety of clothes you might wear.)"

Eli entered the room with cheerfull tone of his voice, variety of clothes resting in his arms as he walked closer to the bench Raiden patiently sat on and waited. His eyes lifting from the clothes at the boy who sat on the same place as he was left in, the only change was his exposed back. It was genuine surprise to see the boy this way, he looked more like the type to hide his scars and inked stained skin...  but now he seemed to not be ashamed by them no matter how ugly they look and how big part of his body they were covering. He walked towards the bench setting the clothes on it near Raiden who paid him attention once he stood right beside him.

"Я не нашeл много одежды твоего размера, поэтому купил тебе кое-что, что не было нужно моим друзьям или из которых они выросли... надеюсь, ты не против... (I haven't found much clothes your size, so I got you some my friends didn't needed or grew out of... hope you don't mind that...)"

Eli said with slight worry in his voice, he hated when he couldn't make people satisfied and would hate it even now. He wanted to make Raiden satisfied as much as he truly deserved since he was sure the boy was not ever in his life, it was time for him to feel even slightly appareciated. With a slight smile on his face he took a step back, gesturing with hand to the other to choose or try something on before turning around to give him some privacy once again. As soon as Raiden was sort of having privacy to check out the clothes brought for him, he began to slowly with his slender hands go through them. Fingertips examining the fabrics and materials, the design and size. He had a lot to choose from... it felt like luxury to him no matter if the clothes were just a hand-me-downs, he actually felt more than satisfied. But after all the choosing he still settled down for the most comfortable for him which was a pair of black combat pants that fit him just fine, or simply said, were on the edge of fitting him since all the clothes seemed to be quite big for him especially all the pants. As the top he chose a turtleneck tank top with open back for better ventilation in this climate, he mentally and physically refused to suffer the heat. After being one hundred percent sure of his pick, he removed the towel that assisted him till now as a cover of his private body parts, and slowly he started to dress up. It was feeling like one of those days when he was brought for a check up to one of the facility doctors, all defencless in the palm of the hands he never really trusted... forced to strip down and checked for basically nothing at all. It seemed to be just a bassic check up but the doctor never really checked the right things he sould have. With a sigh he dressed up, fixing the top so his whole skinny frame looked neat as it should be. It was very surprising the pants actually suited him, they looked bigger but he was glad they did fit him. The only remaining and missing thing were shoes, he had none right now but he did not mind it that much as same as his slowly drying up hair. By now he could tell Eli to turn around but he still didn't dared to speak up by himself, rather than speaking he reachead towards the older boy slightly nudging him in the back near spine and kidney. Eli flinched as he turned around, his eyes alerted and searching for any danger or intruder.

"Ох... вау... Ты хорошо выглядишь... (Oh... wow... You look nice...)"

He stood there flabbergasted, staring back at the younger boy in awe. He couldn't deny Raiden looked way nicer than in med bay robe, the only thing missing were his shoes... He had brought a pair earlier and left it near the door, he should have brought them closer for Raiden to get. There was something that didn't got unnoticed by him, there was a slight shift in Raidens eyes... and slight pinkness on his cheeks that quickly as it appeared it also dissapeared. It was nice to see the other boy act like a human being since he at all times kept on himself a facade of emotionless machine... but was he really one? His eyes were cold as ice but his skin warm to touch and expression blank but telling a lot at the same time. He blinks before walking towards the door for the boots he had left there earlier, he wasn't in need for the younger boy to catch cold or else.

"Вот... возьми вот эти, возможно, они тебе велики, но они должны подойти и самого маленького размера, который у нас есть. ( Here... take these, they might be big for you but they should be fine and the smallest size we have.)"

Eli handed a pair of boots to the younger boy who took them immediately, no words, complains, eyeing, nothing at all. Just silent agreement... and it became normal, the silence was like ethernal peace... He watched Raiden to put on the boots, tightening the laces till he was sure they won't fall off his feet. There was only one thing, will be Raiden able to walk by himself? He still looked weak, his body in general... it was too slender and bony... pale, as if he was on the edge of dying. It only made Eli sick, and wonder how long was Raiden all alone out there without some actual food and water... in general he wanted to know what happened. In silent pity he watched the white haired boy before landing him his own hand, he wanted to help him on his feet. Raidens eyes lifted up from the floor ending up staring back into Eli's eyes that were like deep oceans, he seemingly hesitated in accepting the hand... maybe he just wasn't trusting him completely yet. But Eli stayed still, waiting for the other to accept his help and presence. It sure felt nice when Raiden actually took him by the hand, lifting himself from the bench on his own feet together with Eli's help, yet almost crashed with his weakly body into the other searching with hands for any spare support. Legs of his were shaking and unstable still, a distant memory of his legs being fully functional flashed through his head, he's not so healthy anymore... At least he thought that silently. He had to force his trust in the other, no matter how beautiful and comforting his character was he still couldn't trust him that well, he still leaned all his weight into the other who patiently held him. Feeling hands of another person around his waist wasn't too unfamiliar it felt more natural, ha was always guarded by others who held him for support if he wanted or not it didn't mattered...this though was different kind of support. There was no light feelings from Eli, he felt like he's being treated like a child by the older guy, those feelings he didn't knew...they felt like... like someone actually being truly here for his ugly being, for his shattered soul and mind. For a moment it seemed like Eli's radiant being can soothe his heartache, mend all the broken things that grew bigger within him.

"Okay good, steady steady"

Eli held the younger boy close to his body, trying his best to support the other well. He was afraid if he'll let go the boy will fall and shatter like a glass vase, the thought of it made his blood run cold... he didn't wanted that to happen, ever. The feeling of the boy's hands clawing onto the firm fabric of his uniform like his life depended on it, it depended on him holding the boy's almost fragile frame.

"Great, just keep on holding onto me"

Once again the blond man instructed to the other, lifting more of the others weight in thought to help. He wasn't always like this, this helping, devoted, protective... gentle, it all came when he was assigned to watch over Raiden. While he had Raiden under his supervision, he somehow grew feelings more gentle and emotional, and he still silently denied them and kept on having facade of that soldier he was born to be but... just one look from the younger boy, empty and dull... so exhausted looking so desperate, made him mindlessly act out of his gentle heart. Soft words rolled out his lips as he kept his hands on the others waist, trying not to be rough nor too soft so the boy won't slip out his grasp and fall, hurt himself.

"Ready to go? ... Готов идти?"

He repeats, slowly steadying the boy before letting go of him and his paper white body stained by abuse and ink that meant nothing but strange markings at the moment. It was just a moment when he let go off Raiden, his hands still on alert waiting for anything even a slightest shift just to catch the boy. But that never came. Raiden stood on his own legs, his hands letting go off Eli's clothing they were clawing for dear life before. For a moment was the fragile being free of everything, free of all that weight standing proud by himself... until his mind came back to senses more rational ones, he hated when he felt that strange... tickling in his chest, how light his body felt... It almost always felt like the solid ground disappeared from under his feet and that scared him, he wanted to keep on standing on the ground and knowing he's not going somewhere he doesn't know, somewhere unknown.

"Good you're standing! Can you walk? C'mon do a step"

Raiden looked at the man that was present at all times by his side, his features in face recalled some kind of emotion he didn't recognized - lips slightly curled upwards and eyes filled with that kind of spark he never seen before - but he liked it in some kind of his way. The words alien to him still but the expression and tone of the other man's voice told him what to do, they didn't need to understand each other at all. All it took was one step forward, hesitant one and very slow one, then second and third. Yes he walked, he didn't forgot how to walk by himself no matter how weak he became during his long sleep, that made his heart gallop. After all this condition of his is just temporary, he'll heal and become much stronger like before... maybe get out of there and start a new life, maybe somewhere in England or America. That surely sounded nice, new life promised by future he walked towards each day closer but what about Eli? That man, he didn't knew much about but those eyes of his told him things, a lot of things he was scared to talk about but Raiden understood. Raiden turned swiftly on his heel, eyes pinned on Eli who stood on the same spot like a marble statue, maybe he was still amazed by Raiden being actually awake. He dreamed about this very moment from almost the beginning of their journey, he was wondering what kind of person Raiden is and what kind of colour he likes... there was a lot of stuff he wanted to know and wondered about but never had time to do so or had a chance, until now. With Raiden being finally awake, they could meet properly like people do and try to become... friends maybe?

"I guess I should get you something to eat now..."

Normally Eli would just take anyone other back to the med bay and call it a day but Raiden was different, his eyes were calling him and staring right through him in a way he slightly liked, or thought he likes it. Expression on the pale boy's face changed into slight frown, it almost looked like he's pouting. And that was adorable really, he almost looked like these cute Japanese idols Master Miller sometimes talks about when he gets in the mood, Eli would try and picture one of them girls before coming back to reality.

"What?"

Eli asked the other, hands stretching to sides while he raised his eyebrow, he quite didn't understand the reason why is Raiden pouting as if he stole something that belonged to him. For a moment Eli stood in silence, eyes staring in the others and back until it finally clicked in his head. He completely forgot.

"Fuck... Извините, я забыл, что вы не понимаете английский... (Sorry, I forgot you don't understand English...)"

Quickly he apologized as he took step closer to the other, he wasn't forgetful but not used to talk in other language, it was a long while since he attended the languages class or helped out foreign soldiers that were extracted to Mother Base. Since he became Raiden's supervisor he had a lot of free time but used it to spend it above his Russian language studies, he did spent his time well for sure though. Eyes of his fell back onto the pale boy who slightly tilted his head to the side in a curious gesture, that was new to Eli. He couldn't help but wonder 'What was Raiden curious about?'. He waited for for Raiden to speak up, he knew he is able to speak himself and knew even that he will understand what he's saying... so why he kept quiet now? It felt familiar, it felt like he's from the same species like Quiet is... was he though? He thought all parasites except Quiet became extinct.

Raiden's eyes examined the blonde slowly but it wasn't about looks, he wanted to learn but didn't knew where to start. His heart and mind still whispered to him to not speak by himself, for his own sake he should stay silent but he still wanted to know this language Eli was speaking. As a still young kid he was naturally curious and wanted to learn, deep down he thought this feeling and want already died when he was little but it turned out it was just buried deep within him. Simply Raiden stick out his index finger, signaling a circle, hoping Eli will understand.

"Huh? What do you... Circle? Turn around? Repeat? You want me to Repeat myself? повторить это еще раз? (Repeat that again?)"

He asks his younger company, hoping he got that right. Quickly Raiden nods, it would be better if Eli taught him his language like that, it would be easier as well too. Surprised Eli bites down his lip, he sure wanted to help but Raiden was hard to read and when he didn't talk? It was even harder to understand him... read him. He was like a blank chapter in a book, just put there for someone to write notes on it but it wasn't just that, if maybe person shines purple light onto the page maybe he'll reveal some secrets that are hiding on the page. Raiden was like that page for sure, there was no doubt about it.

"I said ... Я сказал... I should get you... Я должен достать тебя... Something to eat... что-нибудь поесть"

In silence Raiden's blank eyes seemed to analyze the said words, it was amusing to watch yet... cute. The way his pale face changed expression, eyebrows knitted together and lips in slight upside down smile, wrinkled nose. Raiden might be slightly lacking emotions but his face gives off some at least, that was a big step since his awakening. Eli moves his head, a signal for the other to follow somewhere, he had no other choice than follow for now.