Work Text:
AITA for leaving the man I'm in love with without telling him to go back to my family who hates me?
PoliteMenace80 (OP):
Let me explain. I (m38) was married to a woman, Mary (f35) for several years. We had two lovely children but I was, I guess you’d say… uncomfortable in a married state. My wife barely tolerated me, and I barely tolerated her. So, after a lot of years of chilly relations, I decided I deserved happiness, as did she, and I planned my escape. I am fortunate to come from family money and had quite a comfortable estate, so I sold a tiny portion of it to see to my needs, left the remainder with Mary, and went to sea to seek adventure.
It was a decision I had mixed feelings about. Most of the time, I was thrilled with what I had done, but I had some guilt about leaving my family, even though they had never loved me. I was really quite up and down about the whole thing - and then I met Ed.
Have you ever had one of those moments in your life that is a time marker, like you can divide your life into before and after that event? That’s what meeting Ed (m37) felt like. He saved my life - literally - and then made himself right at home in my world. I’ve never known anyone like Ed. He just makes everything… better. He’s clever and witty and cool and gorgeous and every other wonderful thing you can think of. He just makes me happy. I fell in love with him before I even realized what was happening.
It’s a long story as to what happened, but Ed and I found ourselves in a situation where we’d been captured and our freedoms curtailed. He seemed at peace with the situation - even though I was panicking because I’d trapped him, he was happy as long as he was with me. And then he told me I made him happy and he kissed me! Oh, God, I thought I’d die of happiness. We agreed to run away together, that very night.
But before we could run away, I got… curtailed, and it was a horrifically traumatic experience. Part of the traumatic experience was being told that I defiled beautiful things, and all I could think of was Ed - and my family. When the Traumatic Experience was over, I knew I couldn’t run away with Ed because I’d ruined him. So I decided to go back to my family. I didn’t tell Ed. I was panicked and wasn’t thinking clearly. But I thought I was doing the right thing.
When I got here, my wife was less than pleased. She’d told everyone I was dead, and wasn’t happy to be proven wrong. It was tense for a day or so, until she tried to kill me, then we had a heart to heart talk and I realized that I’m in love with Ed. I told her all about everything that had happened, and she said I’m TA for leaving him and not telling him, and that he may have written me off or done something drastic if I broke his heart. But I really thought I was doing him a favor. I thought I was genuinely working in his best interests, but now I know I can’t live without him. So tell me, AITA? And if so, how do I get my man back?
IHeartCrocs - 10 days ago - I think you’re being very singleminded. Your decision didn’t just affect you and Ed, it affected other people, too. I understand why you did what you did - trauma is no joke - but you were TA. So I’m giving you a soft YTA.
NanasRevenge - 10 days ago - YTA. Obviously.
FeetKnives - 10 days ago - This happened because you’re cursed. You never should have broken up your estate. It’s the spirits of your elders. The best thing you can do is get some crystals. Oh, and YTA.
KarlLuvsLiv - 10 days ago - Agree with FeetKnives, in a way. There’s definitely spirits at work here. Might I recommend casting a hex? And I agree that YTA.
18Husbandz - 10 days ago - that’s one more fucked up story, my man. Why shouldn’t you have your wife and your boyfriend? Love is love. NTA
RIPFido - 10 days ago - I think you should make haste to check on your man. He’s probably not doing well. Might be going off the deep end. YTA.
Cannonball2thegut - 10 days ago - relationships are for assholes, and you’ve got yourself involved in a bunch of them. Therefore, clearly, YTA
BadmintonTriplet - 10 days ago - People underestimate the strife of being a landowner, and you’re NTA for that. But YTA for myriad other things.
NordicAngel - 10 days ago - Maybe not everything has to be about TA and NTA. Maybe we can just have emotions and reactions to emotions.
OoohDaddy1717 - 10 days ago - You did the right thing by leaving. It sounds like this Ed is better off without you and can get back to his old life. But you’re a flaming AH, ye twat.
BlackbeardsRightHand - 9 days ago - So wait, you do all these asshole things and then come on here and ask us if you’re an asshole? YTA just for that.
WeeGiant - 9 days ago - This seems like an explosive situation and you’re throwing lit matches. YTA and you need to properly grovel.
NunsWithKnives - 9 days ago - Life is pain. Embrace it, and then use the pain to avenge the wrongs committed against you. YTA.
LusciousLucius - 9 days ago - It’s entirely valid that you were triggered by a traumatic event, but you still reacted badly, babe. You still hurt people, you’re still responsible for that. So I’m giving you a soft YTAAAAAARGH NOOOOO!! *splash*
JaguarMama - 9 days ago - Jesus Christ, what a whiner. You had love and went back to harass your poor wife? How has nobody murdered you? YTA.
UPDATE: AITA for leaving the man I'm in love with without telling him to go back to my family who hates me?
BornOnABeach69:
Hi, crew. Ed here, and I wanted to give a little update.
I was heartbroken when Stede (PoliteMenace80/OP) didn’t show up so we could run away together. It broke me in a lot of ways. I kind of retreated into myself for a few days, and then I snapped and did some things I regret. I was spiraling pretty badly, and then Stede showed up. I was angry at first, didn’t want to talk to him, but he was steadfast, insisting that I had to give him a chance to apologize. I didn’t want to, I wanted to wrap my pain around me like a soft dressing gown, and thought about stabbing him, but I couldn’t. I looked into his hazel eyes and just loved him so fucking much. I listened to him, we talked, and I forgave him. Now we’re happy, together, and sailing off into the sunset as partners.
To everyone that gave support - thank you. We appreciate it. You’re all fucking lunatics and we love it.
Would someone please check on OoohDaddy? I think we broke him. He’s not okay.
Also, not exactly unrelated - A SOCK ON THE DOOR MEANS ‘DO NOT ENTER’
~E&S