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Lava must be a very painful way to die.
Tommy had never seen anyone die by lava, closest was when Wilbur threatened to pour it over himself to Dream. Looking at the lava beneath his feet now though, Tommy decided it would be quite a painful way of dying.
His fingers trailed listless patterns on the netherock, transfixed by the lava that bubbled beneath him. All it would take was one move and he’d be down there. Drowning in half a second, burned from the outside in till there was nothing left.
Tommy should've cheated how tantalizing the idea was but he couldn’t find it in himself to be disgusted. There was something about falling into lava though that just didn’t feel…right. Something about it that Tommy knew wasn’t meant to be his final adventure.
So Tommy sighed and turned away, swinging his legs back over and forcing himself to stand. He had made up his mind since exile when he had first jumped off the tower, something he still cursed himself for somehow fucking that up too. Sure, he was glad that Dream was finally captured, that everyone was as safe as they could be, that it all was going to plan. They had needed Tommy to get to the point they were at now, even if some hated him for that.
Tommy winced as he suddenly thought of Technoblade, the man he had ultimately betrayed. It was something Tommy had truly not meant but it was enough to make the piglin despise Tommy.
“Can’t blame him,” Tommy laughed weakly. He stepped into the nether portal and took a deep breath as he was teleported back to the main world. Of course Tommy had a million feelings about it all but he had gotten himself to a point of acceptance of the past since he set his goal.
Truly though, Tommy had not meant to hurt Technoblade. He knew that the man had wanted to destroy Lamanburg, knew it as soon as he had stepped into Techno’s home after escaping exile. Despite agreeing to help the man, Tommy still inevitably sided with Tubbo. He left Technoblade alone, forcing him to retreat. Tommy knew that he had accepted the situation but there was still a steady pounding of guilt as he remembered Technoblade’s expression. The shocked betrayal was something Tommy hadn’t been expecting and it sure as hell was something he never had wished to see.
Tommy was moving now, too wrapped up in his mind to even acknowledge where he was going. He wanted to repay Technoblade before Tommy left. Maybe not repay but at least apologize to him. Shit, it’d be weird to betray him if Techno still owed Tommy a favor though-
“OH SHIT!” Tommy yelled suddenly, stopping dead in his tracks as he connected the dots. A smile grew on his face as his brain rushed through the new plan, the perfect idea.
Technoblade owed Tommy a favor and Tommy had the perfect plan of killing two birds with one stone.
,,,
Tommy hated the cold. It was ironic to him that just a few hours ago he had been in the nether, sweltering above the boiling lava and now he was shivering in the biting cold of the Tundra.
He shouldn’t have, considering why he was there but Tommy couldn’t help but laugh. He had trouble keeping himself from smiling the whole walk, so proud of himself for figuring out the perfect plan. Tommy could even find comfort to the numbing cold that practically burned his limbs as he pushed himself forward. He definitely wasn’t dressed properly for the freezing temperature but seeing as how he’d be dead in about an hour, he didn’t mind much.
Speaking of which, Tommy now spotted Technoblade’s cabin right in front of him. Tommy giggled, flapping his hands to try and get out his glee of the situation. Despite knowing how angry Technoblade was bound to be seeing Tommy, knowing that his goal would finally be achieved was something that just couldn’t stop his joy.
Tommy made the rest of the path forward, standing now at Technoblade’s cabin door and forcing himself to take a deep breath and calm the fuck down. The piglin would absolutely not take Tommy seriously if the teenager was giggling the whole time.
Schooling himself fully, Tommy raised his fist and knocked three times on Techno’s door. Tommy was faintly bemused by the gentle conversation he could somewhat make out from the door. He sure as hell hadn’t expected Techno to have people over. The man was far from what you’d call a “people person,” bringing up many times how he despised social interaction.
Guess something changed.
He found people worth it.
Tommy hid the strange pang of hurt he suddenly felt as the door opened to reveal a frustrated Technoblade whose irritation only worsened as he realized who exactly was at his door.
“Theseus, why the fuck are you here?”
Tommy winced at both the reminder the nickname brought and the curse- Technoblade never cursed. Yeah, mans was pissed.
“Well big man, I came to cash in that favor you owe me! I swear it won’t take too long, I’m actually quite sure you’ll enjoy it!” Tommy chirped, grinning up at the man who stared down at him blankly. His irritation was still apparent in the man’s scowl and despite his apathetic attitude, Tommy had spent enough time with him to notice the glint of confusion in his eyes. Technoblade always claimed to be in absolute control but Tommy was one of the only people who always kept him on his toes.
“I’m going to be blunt. I hate that you’re here.”
Tommy winced at the man’s dead tone, Techno’s deep voice causing the sentence to reverberate even more so in his brain. Tommy noticed that the conversion he had noticed before had died down and he glanced around Techno to see Phil and Ranboo in Techno’s living room. Huh, the latter’s presence was most definitely a surprise.
You’ve really been replaced fast, huh?
“Get inside and make it quick, I want to deal with you as quickly as possible.” Technoblade grunted. Tommy chuckled, raising his hands passively.
“Not to worry big man, it’s just a quick task! I can even stay right here.”
Techno’s eyes narrowed, suspicion heightened. He made a motion with his hands indicating Tommy to get on with it. Despite Tommy’s passiveness about the decision, there was still a strange tightness in his chest.
“I need you to kill me.”
“What the fuck!?”
Tommy blinked, taken aback by the raised voice of the man, one that was filled with a shocking amount of emotion. Technoblade was staring at him with eyes blown wide and he heard similar noises of confusion from behind the man.
“Uhm, did you not hear me right? I know the wind’s a bit loud but I need you to kill me, Technoblade.” Tommy repeated, smiling up at the other who still just stared blankly at Tommy. Nerves now lit, Tommy couldn’t help but ramble. “I mean, it really shouldn’t take too long. I just thought that since you owe me a favor and I needed to at least make some effort to apologize, this was the best for both of us, ya know? You can just your sword or something or like, I dunno, give me a potion? Whatever is easiest and like, least messy.”
Technoblade just continued to stare blankly at Tommy and now Tommy was afraid he had broken the pink haired man.
“Uhm, Tech? You good- OKAY THEN-” Tommy was cut off as Technoblade grabbed his arm and pulled him into the cabin, slamming the door shut behind them. Tommy winced at the blaring noise before turning over to see both Phil and Ranboo staring at him with various degrees of horror.
The man who Tommy had regarded as a father for what felt as forever, the one who Tommy had been so sure that had hated Tommy after he left, was staring at Tommy with what seemed like physical pain. Tommy’s confusion only rose as he turned to see Ranboo, a boy just a few years older than him and was admittedly quite a nice friend, staring with a similar shell shocked expression at him.
“Hey guys!” Tommy greeted cheerfully, his smile faltering at the two who had absolutely zero reaction to him. He turned back over towards Techno who had finally changed from his previous shock and now was glaring at Tommy.
“So, are we doing it here, or-”
“What the hell are you playing at, Theseus?” Technoblade cut him off. Tommy’s brows furrowed as he rolled the question over in his brain.
Technoblade strode forward, snatching the front of Tommy’s collar and slamming the boy against the wall. Tommy huffed out an “oof,” but otherwise had no reaction, simply staring up at the terrifying man with the same sort of confusion.
“I promise big man, I’m not messing with you if that’s what you’re getting at.” Tommy reassured. Technoblade’s grip tightened, shooting a shock of panic to Tommy’s heart at the all too familiar position the two were in.
“I mean,” Tommy continued, looking to the side awkwardly to avoid Technoblade’s raging gaze. “I was already going to do it myself but figured this was the, like, best of both worlds situation, innit? Two birds with one stone situation or whatever. We both want me dead after all.”
At that, Technoblade’s grip loosened and Tommy landed back on the floor with another grunt. “Bloody hell mate, if you’re gonna kill me you could at least do it fast and not keep throwing me around-”
“Tommy, or once in your life, shut the fuck up.”
Tommy’s mouth immediately snapped shut. The use of his full name as well as the command was all too familiar. Too familiar, too much that it ignited the buzzing under his skin again.
“Let me get this straight, Theseus,” Technoblade began, rubbing his eyes with a harsh sigh. “You’re using your favor, the favor you have that makes the Blood God in your debt, using it to kill yourself?”
“Well when you say it like that it sounds bad.”
A strangled sob was heard and Tommy spun around in shock. Ranboo had tears streaming down his face and Tommy yelped, stumbling over himself to drop down in front of the boy.
“Hey, hey! Ranboo, come on man, you can’t cry! Water ain’t good for you, innit? Come on, nothing to cry about! Fucking hell, fuck, uhhh,” Tommy looked around frantically for something to dry the boy’s tears with and huffed before deciding the best bet would just be to use his jacket. Ranboo was part ender and Tommy could hear the quiet sizzle as each tear struck Ranboo’s cheek.
“Fucking hell mate, you can’t just do that! Crying hurts you,” Tommy muttered, shrugging his jacket off and lifting the sleeve to dab at Ranboo’s face. The boy sobbed again, much worse than this time.
“Fuck.” Tommy looked around for any sort of help only to be met with Techno who was just staring blankly at his hands and Phil who was- also crying?
“Why the fuck are you crying!?” Tommy squawked. Phil just stared at the boy with some sort of emotion he couldn’t place. Tommy genuinely had no idea what the fuck it was but whatever it was made him both want to tear his hair out and break down sobbing. Deciding neither of those were great options, Tommy sighed and moved to sit besides Ranboo.
“No more tears, big man. Cheer up, alright? Nothing to cry about, boo.” Tommy comforted, threading his free hand through Ranboo’s hair and running his hands through the elder teen’s black and white hair as his other still rested to try and catch each tear before it could fall onto Ranboo’s skin.
“Theseus…what’s on your arms?” Techno’s rasp was heavy in the tense room and Tommy looked over at him, confused once more before he realized what he meant. His mouth formed a small ‘o’ in surprise and he looked down at his bare arms sheepishly, blushing slightly.
“Ah, sorry ‘bout that guys. Didn’t mean for you all to see that. I know it’s ugly, fucking disgusting, pathetic.”
“Shut up, Tommy!” Phil suddenly snapped. Once more, Tommy followed the order and just watched in twisted fascination as the elder man grew closer and closer to losing his shit.
“Just shut up! We need to fucking process this, what you’re doing, what you asked-” Phil cut himself off, choking on his own words. His blue eyes glistened with new tears as he and Tommy continued to stare at each other.
“My son,” Phil whispered. Something in Tommy broke at that.
“Shut up. Shut the fuck up, Phil! You don’t get to fucking call me that!” Tommy hopped up, leaving his jacket wrapped around Ranboo’s shoulders and storming towards Phil who had now stood up as well.
“You don’t get to fucking call me that. You don’t get to be upset over this! You and everyone else made it clear as hell ever since exile that you guys want me fucking gone. I just cause trouble, right? Just some stupid kid? It’s fucking over now!” Tommy broke off, furious at the tears that rolled down his face. This wasn’t going to plan at all. He wasn’t even supposed to enter Techno’s house, just was supposed to be quickly disposed of.
He should’ve just jumped in the lava.
“I’m not going to kill you, Theseus.” Techno’s quietly said. Tommy spun around and scowled at him, throwing his hands up in the air.
“Why the fuck not!? Not only do you fucking owe me but you want me dead too!”
Techno shook his head, his hands curled into tight fists. “That’s not true. I hated you, yes. But I never wanted you dead.”
Tommy laughed at that, a dry humorless scoff that sucked any humor out of the noise.
“You can surely do better than that, Technoblade. Since I betrayed you, you’ve wanted me dead. Don’t you remember that? Remember how you told me to die like a hero? Well here’s your chance to help me die like a fucking coward!”
Tommy advanced towards Techno, grinning maniacally as he irritated the man more and more.
“You know you want to,” Tommy whispered, grabbing his own sword from his inventory and pulling it out, placing the blade right onto his heart and extending the handle towards his brother. “You just need to grab the handle and push, see? Won’t even take a minute, just a push and a bit of clean up. I’d be gone.”
Tommy sure as hell had never been one with words but he put everything he could into convincing Techno into fulfilling his final wish. He couldn’t help but smile as he saw Techno’s eyes raise to the sword handle. Tommy’s smile faltered though as Techno then moved his gaze to Tommy’s bare arms. There was an emotion in the piglin's eyes, something that Tommy didn't know of and that frustrated him even more.
Tommy had been harming since exile and he sincerely saw no problem with it. If anything, he was quite proud of how good he had gotten at it. Thick ropes of skin scarred his arms, only accentuated by the pale pink that glinted between and inside them. The pain was the closest Tommy had felt to divinity, his one true safety net. Dream was quite proud of him for it as well which was all the more reason Tommy had to continue his self destruction.
Tommy would have expected the same sort of pride from Technoblade from when he saw Tommy’s arms but instead the piglin’s face dropped. Not just that…
Not just that, but Technoblade started to fucking weep.
“W-Woah! Techno, what the fuck!” Tommy yelped as Techno knocked his sword aside and wrapped Tommy up in an embrace, dropping the two to their knees as he held onto Tommy as if the boy would disappear.
“Tommy…Tommy, my brother, Tommy, Tommy…” Techno choked, clutching tightly onto the boy who seemed so impossibly small.
Tommy broke. Broke more than he had when he saw Ranboo cry, more than when Phil had snapped, more than when he had entered the home.
“Why…Techno, why aren’t you..just fucking killing me?” Tommy hated himself for how he whimpered. Techno crying, crying over him was too much. Throughout all their years of growing up, Tommy had never seen Technoblade cry a single time. He could feel his heart shatter at how Techno shook, the quietest cries echoing from him.
“Tommy..don’t leave.”
Tommy sobbed then, sobbed harder than ever before. He had thought he had accepted his decisions but now he mourned the boy he had planned to kill, the boy he wanted dead more than anything else. Mourned him with his brother as Tommy clutched onto Techno just as tightly as the man held onto him. The embrace, so warm, so protective, so real that Tommy realized he didn’t want to die. He didn’t want to die when Technoblade hugged him as if the boy was the reason for his breathing, as if he would die if he even loosened his grip on Tommy.
Tommy had never been held with so much care before and he only cried harder. Tears stuttered down his cheeks as another pair of arms wrapped around them and then another.
“Techie,” Tommy whimpered. Heartbroken sobs tore through them and there was no way to decipher who they were coming from exactly as this family became one with one another. This new family, one so perfectly molded to fit each other, held onto Tommy with the promise of safety that death could never offer the boy.
As Tommy’s eyes drooped beneath his cries and his sobs quieted to weak sniffles, Tommy decided that maybe he didn’t need death. Didn’t need it as his family cradled him with the promise of a new life.
And Tommy knew then why the lava hadn’t felt right, knew that here was the path that was meant for him. That maybe..
Maybe this love could heal Tommy beyond what he feared.