Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

*bzzt bzzt*

Mikey opened his eyes and groaned. He reached over to the small side table next to his bed and grabbed his phone, swiping up to turn off the alarm that had woken him. He looked at his phone, his eyes squinting from the sudden bright light illuminating his face in the dark room. He turned down the brightness and read the time:

5:00 am.

He closed his eyes and groaned again. It was way too early to be getting up. He desperately wanted to close his eyes and go back to sleep, but he forced himself up anyway. If he didn't get up on time then Leo would leave without him. He always gave him and his other brothers a ride to school but his one rule was that you had to get up on time, otherwise you'd be stuck taking the bus which sucked. So Mikey sucked up how he felt and forced himself out of bed.

He got up and made his way over to his closet, opening the door to take a look at the selection of clothes he had to decide what he would wear for the day. He went with a pair of black skinny jeans, an orange shirt, and a black and orange hoodie to cover it. He made his way over to the bathroom that was part of his room. Thankfully they all had their own bathroom in each of their rooms so they didn't have to fight over one in the morning. Mikey did his normal routine of brushing his teeth and washing his face, splashing himself with cold water that only helped a bit in waking him up. He dried his face with the small hand towel that was hanging up and looked at himself in the mirror.

Despite getting the recommended eight hours of sleep, which was rare for him since his phone usually kept him up, he looked exhausted with evident bags under his eyes. And he felt exhausted too. Mikey sighed as he leaned against the sink. So it was going to be one of those days, again. Lately he's been having these kinds of days, where it felt almost unbearable to go through the day and all he wanted was to curl up in bed and not deal with anything. But if he did that then it would make his brothers worry, and while he appreciated their concern over him, being the youngest brother and what not, it could get smothering at times. So he sucked it up and put on a happy face, if not for his sake, for theirs.

Pushing how he felt away, Mikey went ahead and finished getting ready. He packed his backpack and threw it over his shoulder, looked himself over, and made his way downstairs to meet his brothers. Leo and Donnie were already up and sitting at the table, Leo drinking a cup of tea while Donnie had a bowl of cereal in front of him. Mikey placed his bag down at one of the empty seats and went to get his own bowl of cereal.
"I'm surprised you're up before Raph." Donnie commented, as Mikey was usually the last to get up.
"Oh you know me, I'm trying out a new routine." Mikey joked as he sat down with his own breakfast. It was true he was up unusually early. Usually it took Leo banging on his door last minute to get him up and ready.
"So after 16 years you're finally getting up on time." Leo chimed in..
"Hey I said I was trying a new routine not adopting one." Mikey said in between bites of his cereal which earned him an eye roll from Leo.

"Mikey couldn't get up on time even if his life depended on it." Raph came downstairs and nudged Mikey playfully in the arm.
"Hey! I got up on time today." Mikey grumbled at his brother's comment.
"Today, but let's face it, you're not exactly the most responsible when it comes to being on time." Donnie stated, laughing with Raph.
"I can be responsible." Mikey murmured, frowning at Donnie's and Raph's amusement. He suddenly didn't feel like finishing his food.
"Relax bro, it's just a joke." Raph said, noticing his brother's sour reaction.

"Alright you two leave him alone." Leo finally spoke up, finishing his tea and putting the cup in the sink. "You guys ready to go?" Leo picked up his own backpack and grabbed the keys off the counter.

The ride to school wasn't that long, only about fifteen minutes give or take the morning traffic. Mikey was silent during the car ride, looking out the window at the passing trees and houses, briefly listening to his brother's conversation.
"Did you hear me Mikey?" Leo's voice got his attention.
"What?" Mikey responded.
"I was saying we'll be staying after school today so either make sure you're on time for when we leave or you'll have to take the bus home." Leo repeated as he pulled into the school, looking for a parking spot in the student lot.
"Sure." His brothers took part in after school clubs. Raph was part of the football team and usually stayed after for practice, Donnie took part in science club, and Leo was a part of student council. Mikey did join the Art club but it didn't meet as often as his brother's activities did so he was usually left waiting for them after school. As soon as Leo parked Raph and Donnie were already out of the car. Mikey opened the door but was stopped by Leo.

"Hey are you okay Mikey?" Leo asked. He could see slight concern on his brother's face. Had he done something to worry him?
"I'm fine Leo, why?" Mikey asked curiously.
"You just seem a bit out of it today." Leo pointed out. He was, but he didn't want to worry his brother.
"Oh, I'm probably just still tired." Mikey laughed awkwardly. Leo looked at him thoughtfully until his facial features relaxed.
"You know you really need to stay off your phone at night, it messes with your sleep." Leo started his 'mom' rant, which is what they called it when he started going on like this.

"Yeah yeah, thanks for the ride Leo!" Mikey chimed over him, getting out of the car before his older brother could continue. He was not in the mood for a lecture right before school started.

He hurried towards the school entrance, making his way through the crowded hallways to his own locker so he could get his stuff for his first period class. He made it to his locker and grabbed the lock to start putting in his combination when he felt himself shoved hard into the cold metal face first, hearing a slight pop in his nose. He pulled away and hunched over, dropping his bag and holding his nose that started to bleed. He looked up with watery eyes as he heard laughter next to him.

"Oops sorry, guess you were just in the way." A taller teen laughed with his group of friends. It's not like Mikey wasn't used to the bullying, ever since he entered high-school he had for whatever reason been a target for bullies like these guys. It died down for a while when Raph had heard and punched one of his bullies in the face, earning a weeks worth of detention. But it still happened here and there.

"Aw look he's going to cry." Another laughed. Mikey didn't say anything, just glared at the group. He had learned that talking back to them just made things worse for him.
"Hey, leave him alone!" Another voice yelled. Mikey looked and saw his friend, Renet walking angrily towards them.
"Oooh gonna sick your girlfriend on us?" Another taunted. Mikey appreciated Renet, she always stood up for herself and her friends even if the odds weren't in her favor.

"Why don't you pick on someone your own size? Or is your dick too small that you need to make up for your fragile masculinity by picking on anyone who can't put up a fight?" She insulted, earning a chorus of 'ooo's' and 'burns' from the rest of the group, embarrassing the guy who made the comment. Mikey felt a bit hurt by Renets comment, he could put up a fight if he wanted to, he just didn't want to risk getting in trouble with his father. Him and his brothers have been training under him for years learning ninjutsu but he made it clear that they should only ever use their skills for dire situations, and unfortunately being bullied did not fall under dire situations.

"C'mon lets go, these pipsqueaks aren't worth it." The bully left with his group, obviously embarrassed to be shown up by a girl no less.
"Are you okay Mikey?" Renet asked, handing him a tissue from her bag so he could clean up his bleeding nose.
"I've been better." Mikey winced as he put slight pressure against his nose to try and stop the bleeding.
"You should probably go see the nurse, here I'll help you." Mikey nodded as Renet grabbed his bag and walked with him to the nurses office. Luckily it was still early so not many people were there. The last thing he needed was being the subject of the school gossip. They walked up to the main desk where the receptionist was who looked up at the two.

"First thing in the morning?" She commented. "Here have a seat, do you both need to be here?" She asked.
"No, just me, thanks Renet." Mikey thanked his friend who smiled before heading to her own class just as the nurse came out of her office.
"C'mon in." Mikey got up and followed the nurse into her office, sitting on the examination table.
"Let's see." She took the tissue from Mikey to take a look at his nose. She gently prodded at it, Mikey wincing at the pain.
"Well it doesn't look like it's broken, looks more like you have a contusion so it will leave a nasty bruise." She smiled sympathetically.
"That's better than it being broken I guess." Mikey was glad it wasn't broken, less worry on his part and his family. "It does hurt though, do you have anything that can help with that?"

"I can give you some extra strength Ibuprofen to help with the pain." The nurse went ahead and grabbed the bottle from the locked medicine closet, taking two pills and getting a cup of water for him to take. Mikey took the medicine and gulped it down with his drink.
"But you'll have to use something over the counter at home if the pain comes back." She explained before sighing.
"Now do you want to tell me how this happened?" Mikey hesitated. If he told her he was shoved then she would be obligated to tell the principal as the school has a no tolerance bullying policy, and then his father would have to be involved.

"I fell in the hallway, accidentally hit the locker." Mikey said sheepishly. "I can be pretty clumsy, you can even ask my brothers if you want." He laughed awkwardly.
The nurse gave him a sympathetic look, not really buying what he was saying.
"You know this school is a safe place. We have zero tolerance for any type of violence here." she explained.
"I know, but that doesn't really apply to me since this was an accident." Mikey tried to convince.
"Okay. But just know if anything does happen in the future, you can always come to us." The nurse gave in, obviously seeing that she would not be able to convince Mikey to tell the truth. Mikey only nodded.

"Go see the receptionist, she will give you a late pass to your class." Mikey gave her a quick thank you before leaving the room and getting a late pass. The only good thing about this was that he was missing part of Math class, his least favorite subject. And he hoped the rest of the day stayed good, not wanting to deal with any more issues like this. But he had a gut feeling that he may not get his way today.

Chapter Text

Mikey immediately felt uncomfortable with the amount of attention that was on him when he entered first period Math late. A not so pretty bruise had started to form on his nose that had swollen slightly. It was hard to cover up. He handed his teacher the late pass and made his way to an open seat in the back of the room next to Renet whom he shared the class with.
"yikes that is not looking good." Renet grimaced at the state of Mikey's face. He didn't look at her.
"I'm aware." Mikey mumbled as he took out his binder to catch up on the notes he was missing.
"What's gonna happen to the guys who did this?" Renet whispered, obviously expecting Mikey had told the nurse what had happened.
"Nothing." Mikey sighed. "I told her it was an accident, that I fell." Mikey explained.

"Mikey why didn't you say anything?" Renet said, upset that the guys who hurt her friend were going to face no repercussions. Mikey was silent, staring at the paper in front of him.
"Mikey-"
"Please Renet, drop it." He said harsher than he should have. "I just-please don't tell my brothers or anyone else about this okay? As far as they know this was an accident." Renet frowned but didn't say anything, going back to her own work. Mikey felt bad. He didn't mean to hurt her feelings. He'll just...apologize to her later.

The rest of class went by unbearably slow and was hard to concentrate on, he barely kept up with the notes and wanted nothing more than for the bell to ring so he could go. He kept thinking about how he was going to avoid his family with this and rehearsing in his head what he was gonna say when they eventually saw him.
'I tripped on my way to my locker and fell on my face.' That was believable right? It was something he would do. Mikey frowned at that thought.
'It was something he would do.' Of course, he was clumsy and irresponsible, just like his brothers thought of him.

The bell rang, bringing Mikey out of his thoughts. He quickly put his stuff away into his bag and stood up, slinging his backpack onto his arm and exiting the room, not bothering to wait for Renet who looked at him sadly.
His next class was English. They had 10 minutes in between periods to get their stuff and take care of anything else they needed beforehand. On his way to his locker he stopped by the bathroom. There were a few people in there but no one he knew. He looked at himself in the mirror. His nose was swollen, a bruise forming in the middle that was an ugly mix of red and purple and extended slightly under his eyes. He touched his face, wincing slightly at the pain he felt.

"Oooh that doesn't look too good." A snickering voice taunted. Mikey looked in the mirror and saw one of the bullies from earlier emerging from the stall, the one who Renet had insulted.
Mikey didn't say anything and turned to leave so he didn't have to deal with him.
'Just walk away.'
"Aw gonna run off to your girlfriend to protect you?" The other laughed as he washed his hands. Mikey stopped walking. He should leave before things got worse, but a part of him wanted to make things worse. He turned around to look at his bully.

"What's your deal?" He asked, catching the other slightly off guard.
'Don't make things worse.' He could hear his inner voice trying to reason with him but Mikey was ignoring it.
"What?"
"You heard me." Mikey walked closer. "What the fuck is your problem? I don't even know who you are yet you insist on bullying me."
'Stop.'
The bully started to look angry and turned off the faucet, shaking his hands dry. He turned towards Mikey and started walking towards him.
"I don't need to have a reason or to know you to pick on someone like you." He roughly shoved Mikey in the shoulder, pushing him back slightly.
"Someone like me?" Mikey got defensive, feeling himself getting angry. He wasn't one to get angry often, that was usually Raph’s forte not his.
"Yeah. Someone," He shoved Mikey again, "like," and again, "you." Mikey didn't even think before curling up his hand into a fist and punching the other teen in the stomach hard, making him go down curled over himself and holding his stomach. One thing Mikey liked was how people underestimated him. He didn't look like it with his clothes on but underneath he was pretty built from the years of training with his father and brothers.
Before the other could recover and get up Mikey booked it out of the bathroom, getting lost in the crowded hallway and making his way to class.

Mikey took his seat in the back of English and got out his stuff to take notes. As class started the realization of what he did started to settle in.
'You punched a guy in the stomach. If he tells then your father will know and you'll be in trouble.' He could feel his anxiety starting, not being able to pay attention to what the teacher was going over.
'But if he does then he risks getting in trouble for what he did to you.' He tried to reason.
'But you shouldn't have done it anyway. It was irresponsible of you.' He winced slightly.
'Irresponsible'. He shook his head as if trying to shake the thought away.
'No, I stood up for myself. That's not irresponsible, right?'

The rest of class went by painstakingly slow, Mikey barely getting any notes down as he tried to calm his anxiety and reason with himself. He thought when the bell rang and lunch rolled around he could take his mind off of things but he had forgotten that he shared lunch with his brothers who would surely freak out when they saw the state of his face. Luckily for him he had another spot he could eat without having to confront them.

Students rolled out into the halls heading to the cafeteria for lunch. This left the classrooms almost empty. Mikey made his way to the art room which was always open during lunch to anyone who wanted to work on assignments or their own personal projects, and in this case when you didn't want to eat lunch in the cafeteria. There were only a few other students in there doing their own things.
Mikey took a seat at one of the back tables and took out his lunch. His family tried to take turns making lunches for each other, keyword tried. Mikey was usually the one who made the lunches since he could cook the best out of all of them, aside from their father. Donnie and Raph were okay, but Leo was officially banned from trying to cook after almost starting an oil fire. Mikey chuckled quietly at that memory. His older brother was good at a lot of things, but cooking was not one of them.

"Are you okay? Your face doesn't look too good." A sudden voice took Mikey out of memory lane.
"Thanks for the flattering compliment." Mikey responded sarcastically. The guy who had spoken sat at one of the side tables in front of him. He had not seen him before, and he stuck out pretty good. He had short black hair with dyed blue ends, black stud earrings, a few piercings on his face, and was wearing a black jean jacket to match the rest of his black attire. It looked like he was working on some artwork, probably for the class.
"Sorry I didn't mean to insult you." The other guy apologized with a small smile.
"No it's okay, I'm just not having a good day." Mikey sighed as he started eating his food.
"I'm assuming it has to do with the state of your face?" The other guy asked. Mikey nodded.
"This is just the handiwork of bullies with nothing better to do." Mikey laughed dryly, earning a sympathetic look from the other.
"I'm sorry to hear that." Mikey only shrugged as he continued to eat his lunch and the other went back to his work.

"Are you new? I haven't seen you before." Mikey asked after a few moments of silence.
"Sort of." The other guy answered, briefly looking up as he continued on his work. "I transferred here about a month ago. My parents moved for a new job." Mikey nodded.
"Cool, well uh I'm Mikey, short for Michelangelo." Mikey introduced himself.
"I'm Zane." Zane introduced himself back, smiling. With that, they both went back to their own things, spending the rest of the lunch period in silence.

The next two periods were very boring. Mikey had Science and then History as his final class of the day. Luckily he had been able to avoid his siblings and their friends, he didn't want to have to deal with their reactions just yet.
'Until you have to face them after school.' Mikey had forgotten all about his brothers after school activities and if he didn't want to take the bus he would have to wait for them to be done.
'But the second they see you they'll drop everything and become worried. You'll ruin their plans.' He didn't want to ruin his brother's afternoon with his issues.
Mikey took out his phone, hiding it under his desk so he wouldn’t get caught as the teacher kept talking to the class. He went to his messages and looked for Renet’s name,

Mikey: 'Hey Renet, look I'm sorry about earlier but can I ask you a favor?'
Renet: *typing*
Renet: 'Depends on what kind.'
Mikey: 'A ride home? please?'
Renet: 'hmmmm'
Renet: 'okayyy just meet me in the student lot after class'
Mikey: 'Thank you! <3'

--
As soon as the bell rang Mikey booked it out of History and to the student lot. He wanted nothing more than to get out of school today and into the comfort of his own home.
He texted Leo as he made his way over to Renet's car, letting him know he wouldn't be staying after and he had a ride home so his brothers wouldn't stay later than they had to waiting for him.
"Hey Renet." Mikey said awkwardly with a smile as he approached his friend who was standing next to her car waiting for him, arms crossed and a not too happy look on her face.

"Have I told you lately you're my favorite person?" Mikey attempted to cheer up his friend.
"I better be." Renet sighed before unlocking her car door so the two could get in. Mikey got into the passenger seat, placing his bag in front of him as he buckled himself in. Renet started up her car and carefully pulled out of the parking lot. She didn't live too far from the school and Mikey's house was on the way. They sat in silence for a bit as she pulled out of the school and onto the main road.

"Look, I'm sorry about earlier and snapping at you." Mikey apologized, breaking the silence. Renet sighed and smiled slightly.
"It's okay. I'm not mad at you, you know, just upset." Renet started. "I just don't get why you didn't want to tell anyone about those jerks. They shouldn't get off without any consequences for hurting you." Mikey looked down, feeling a bit guilty now that he didn't say anything and for making his friend upset.

"If I said anything then the school would have to get my father involved, and then my brothers would get involved, and last time something like this happened Raph got suspended for a week." Mikey explained, remembering how Raph had punched one of his previous bullies for hurting him. "I didn't want to make them worry or cause any issues." Renet gave him a sympathetic smile.
"Besides, I don't think I can tell the school now even if I wanted to unless I want to get in trouble too." Mikey said sheepishly.
"Why?" Renet asked curiously but also slightly concerned.
"Welllll I may have…purposely punched the guy who pushed me in the stomach." Mikey admitted.
"Did you actually?" Renet laughed, Mikey grinned.
"Yeah, to be fair he had it coming." For the first time today Mikey was starting to feel better.
"If you hadn't done it, I would have." Mikey laughed.
"I love you Renet, but I don't think you would win that fight." Renet scoffed and playfully punched Mikey in the arm as he continued laughing
The rest of the car ride was filled with playful banter and laughter. It almost made Mikey forget about the shit day he had.

Renet pulled into the empty driveway of Mikey's house. Mikey unbuckled himself and opened the door, grabbing his bag and stepping out.
"Thanks for the ride, let me know when you're home." Mikey thanked Renet as he closed the car door, waving to her as she backed up and drove away towards her own home.

Mikey opened the backdoor to his house, the most common entrance they used, and stepped inside. He closed and locked the door, kicked off his shoes and placed them next to the other pairs near the door.
"Anyone home?" Mikey called out as he walked down the short hallway into the open space of the living room.
Silence.
He expected no one to be home anyway given his brothers were all staying after and his father was usually at the dojo late teaching different classes throughout the day.

Mikey made his way upstairs and down the hall to his room. He sighed and placed his backpack on the back of his desk chair and closed his door. He went over to his bed and flopped down onto his back.
His face ached slightly and still felt swollen, he should probably take something for it but he didn't want to get back up.
The car ride with Renet was the happiest he had felt all day, it's a shame that feeling didn't last. As soon as he got home his mood had shifted. He was glad no one was home, he didn't want to have to deal with the rest of his family just yet.

Mikey looked over at his desk and backpack. He had homework to do, his father always telling them that was their first priority before doing anything else. He should probably start it, it would keep him busy and save him one less scolding. But he didn't want to. His bed was too comfy and his body was starting to feel heavy.

'A nap wouldn't hurt right? If I rest it will help me focus more on my homework.' Mikey reasoned with himself. 'I'll just take a quick nap.'
He pulled the top of his blanket down and moved to get under it, the blanket feeling like a warm, added weight onto his own heavy body. He made sure to get into a position that didn't put pressure on his face, closed his eyes, and let himself drift off into the comfort of sleep.

Chapter Text

"Mikey!"
"Mikey!"
Mikey woke up startled, feeling his body being shaken. "What's going on? Leo?" He felt out of it from being woken suddenly, his vision clearing up and seeing his older brother standing over him.
"What are you doing?" He asked his brother who was looking at him angry, concerned, both?
"What happened to your face?!" Leo asked concerned, worry plastered over his face from seeing his youngest brother hurt.
"Huh? Oh, that." Mikey sat up, gently rubbing his eyes as he started to wake up more. "It was an accident."
Leo frowned and grabbed Mikey's face to turn it to get a better look at the bruise.
"Stop!" Mikey swatted his hand away. "I'm fine, seriously." But Leo ignored him.
"Donnie!" Leo called out for his second youngest sibling.

"Why are you yelling-Mikey what happened to your face?" Donnie walked into the room, looking just as concerned as Leo as he saw Mikey's face. Mikey rolled his eyes in annoyance. This wasn't how he wanted this go, especially not by being shaken awake and yelled at.

Before Mikey could say anything Donnie was all over him just as Leo was, examining his face to see the extent of his injury.
"It's not broken, it's just a bruise-ow! Don't touch it Don." Mikey explained as Donnie prodded at him, touching his bruised area to see if the nose was broken or not.
"Well you're right it's not broken." Donnie sighed in relief. "Have you put any ice on it?" Mikey shook his head no. "Alright let me go get some." Donnie exited the room and went down to the kitchen to grab an ice pack.

"How did this happen?" Leo questioned, sounding calmer after Donnie checked on him and confirmed his nose wasn’t broken. Donnie was after all the 'family medic' as they liked to call him. He was incredibly smart and knew a lot about medicine and science. They probably wouldn't have been able to get through most of their injuries and illnesses without him.
"Like I said Leo, it was an accident." Mikey moved himself so he was sitting on the edge of his bed. He looked around and noticed it was now dark outside. How long did he sleep?
"What kind of accident?" Leo kept questioning.
"The kind where you, uh, accidentally fall into a locker?" Mikey said sheepishly with a small smile. Leo frowned and raised an eyebrow.
"You fell into a locker?" He sounded skeptical. Mikey nodded.
"Yeah, too many people were walking around and I must've tripped over someone or something." Mikey stood up from his bed and stretched. "What time is it?" He changed the subject.
"It's almost seven, why?" Leo must’ve bought what Mikey had said as he seemed to relax now and wasn't pressing further about it.

"Seven!? I slept that long." Mikey groaned, he was supposed to have only taken a small nap, not one for almost five hours. Donnie walked back into his room and had a gel ice pack and a small cloth in his hand.
"Here, put this on your nose. You're gonna want to do this for about two days in fifteen minute intervals. It should help the swelling go down and let it heal faster." Donnie explained as he wrapped the ice pack in the cloth and handed it to Mikey who pressed it against his nose.
"Thanks Donnie." Mikey smiled, always grateful for how Donnie took care of them.

"Just try to stay away from any more lockers, you don't want that turning into a broken nose." Leo teased with a smile.
"More like you should tell those lockers to stay away from me." Mikey laughed as Leo rolled his eyes at his bad comeback.
"Wait, you got this from a locker? That must've been a pretty hard fall." Donnie questioned. Mikey felt himself panic slightly, was that not believable enough to his genius brother?
"Well it was." Mikey quickly changed the subject. "Anyway I have homework I need to do so, leave." Mikey started leading his brothers to the entrance of his room.
"Okay okay, well dinner is going to be ready in a half hour." Leo said before him and Donnie were forced into the hallway.
"Sure thanks Leo, thanks Donnie!" Mikey said quickly with a smile before closing his door, leaving his brothers in the hallway to look at each other and shrugged, not too surprised by their brothers' not so unusual weird behavior.

Mikey sighed and made his way over to his desk where his bag was, still holding the ice pack to his nose. He grabbed his backpack and put it next to the chair as he sat down, grabbing his work out from it that needed to be done and placing it on his desk.
"Ughh why does homework even exist." Mikey really did not want to do his homework. He still felt too tired even after sleeping for so long and felt a lack of motivation to actually start it. Well he usually had at least some motivation to do his work but this time it felt worse. At least he could force himself to get it done, but right now it felt like a struggle to even grab the pencil and start.

Mikey placed down the ice pack and crossed his arms over the desk and put his head into his arms. He felt tired. He closed his eyes and his thoughts started to wander to the interaction he just had with his siblings.
'Try to stay away from any more lockers.' Leo's laugh played over in his head. His brothers must think he's pathetic thinking he hurt himself by tripping into a locker of all things. It almost made him regret not telling them the truth, but they would probably think he was just as pathetic from being bullied...
'No they're my brothers, they wouldn't think that.' Mikey lifted his head and dragged the palm of his hands from his eyes to his cheeks. ‘But if they wouldn’t think that, why won’t you tell them?’ He shook his head.

"Maybe, a shower will help wake me up more." Mikey talked to himself, 'and to help get rid of these thoughts' , really just looking for any excuse to not do his work. He got up and made his way over to the bathroom that was part of his room. It wasn't a big bathroom, just big enough to move around and have what you needed.

Mikey closed the door behind him and walked over to the shower and twisted the shower knob over to the warm side, closing the shower curtain and letting the water flow so it could heat up. He started to undress, throwing each piece of clothing into the corner of the bathroom next to the door. He pulled back the curtain and stuck his hand under the water to feel if it was warmed up enough. As soon as it was he stepped into the shower, letting the warm water wash over him. It felt comforting and let him clear his mind. He went through his normal showering process, grabbing the body wash to soap up, shampooing his hair and then using conditioner, and letting the residue of the soap and the grime of the day flow down the drain, turning up the temperature of the shower when it was starting to feel cold to him.

He didn't get out of the shower right away despite having finished washing up. He just stood under the shower head and let the now hot water hit against him, parts of his skin turning a slight shade of red from the heat. He put his arms up against the wall in front of him and leaned his head against them, eyes closed and just focused on the feeling of the water, his head feeling clear from earlier, from the whole day actually. It felt like he was being given a break from the day he had and the thoughts that have been attacking him.

But of course not even that could last.
A sudden banging at his door startled Mikey out of his relaxed state.
"Are you almost done Mikey? Dinners ready." Donnie's voice called out from the other side of the door. Mikey sighed and grabbed the shower knob, twisting it in the opposite direction to turn off the shower.
"I'll be out in a minute, Don!" Mikey called back, pulling back the curtains and grabbing the towel that was hanging next to the shower. He quickly dried himself off, opened the door to make sure Donnie had left and grabbed a new pair of underwear, a pair of sweats and a t-shirt from his closet. His hair was still damp but he would just have to deal for now. He didn't want to be late to dinner and earn a scolding from his father.

Mikey made his way downstairs and into the kitchen. Raph and Donnie were already sitting at the table while Leo was helping their father bring the rest of the food to the table. Luckily they weren't waiting for him. Mikey sat down next to Donnie, while Raph and Leo sat across from them and their father sat at the end of the table.
"Michelangelo what happened to your face?" His father asked as he sat down, noticing his son's bruise.
"Oh, I fell into a locker at school. It's no big deal, it's not broken." Mikey muttered, repeating the same excuse he had given Leo and Donnie earlier as he started filling his plate with the food on the table along with his siblings. Raph laughed.
"Seriously? You got that from a locker?" Mikey rolled his eyes at his older brother.
"At least I have an excuse for my face looking like this, what's yours?" Mikey insulted/teased. Raph scowled.
"Keep talking like that and I'll give you another excuse to add to your list." Mikey stuck out his tongue at his angry brother who threw a napkin at him.

"Enough both of you. Not at the dinner table." Their father scolded them, both Mikey and Raph giving a quick apology. Splinter, the nickname they had given their father, sighed before cutting into his food.
"I am glad you are not seriously injured Michelangelo, but do try to be more careful." He said to Mikey who only nodded. Splinter turned his attention to his other sons.
"Raphael, how was your day at school?" He asked.
"It was okay." Raph started with a mouthful of food. "Football practice was a bit annoying though."
"How come?" Leo asked.
"Well for starters we were down a player, Jack, who claimed he had a stomach ache and couldn't make it. But I've seen him go down harder during games, just another excuse to skip practice." Raph said frustrated. Not only was he their best quarterback on the team but he was trying to make captain and he had a pretty good shot, as long as the other football players listened to him and showed up to practice.
Mikey froze up a bit. Stomach ache? Could Jack be the guy who was bullying him and who he punched? He did look like a jock but Mikey couldn't remember him wearing anything related to the football team, then again he didn't really take a look with his nose bleeding and being too busy getting out of the bathroom before anyone saw what he did.
'No it could've been anyone, what are the odds your bully is also on Raph's team?' Mikey thought to himself.

"And then Bradford is just looking to get the whole team in trouble. He keeps bragging about his weed stash and trying to sell it to the rest of the team." Raph complained angrily. The school had a zero tolerance policy and that included drug use.
"Does weed even count as drugs anymore?" Mikey asked, pulling himself out of his thoughts to hear the last of Raph's rant.
"It gets you high doesn't it? It's a drug." Raph replied, frowning.
"Yeah but, it's legal here and don't they use it for medicine or whatever?" Mikey continued as he cut into his food.
"You're not entirely wrong Mikey," Donnie chimed in. "It is used for medicinal use but that can be different from recreational use. Plus it's illegal for minors." Donnie emphasized that last part, as if to warn his younger brother to not try anything.

"Okay okay I'm just asking. Why don't you just tell the school if you're so worried, Raph?" Mikey questioned. How ironic though, given he couldn't tell the truth to the school about his bullying.
"Because then I risk Bradford getting kicked off the team and the other players hating me, and there goes my shot at captain. Plus as much as he annoys me he is one of our best running backs." Raph explained and sighed, obviously annoyed and tired at what he had to deal with. Oh the hardships of being a leader.

"Well I'm sure if anyone can keep that team on track it's you Raph." Leo stated, earning a small smile from Raph.
"Yeah I know." From there Splinter moved on to asking Leo about his day. Leo just talked about his classes, how he aced another test, and what student council was currently up to. They were in the beginning phase of planning a mid-year event for the student body. They were thinking of holding a dance but haven't decided on a theme yet.

Donnie didn't have much to talk about other than his after school activities. Him and April wanted to work on a science project together but didn't know what to do yet.
After his siblings had finished talking they were all pretty much done eating. They each grabbed their plates and brought them to the kitchen, helping each other to load the dishes into the dishwasher and helping to put away leftover food.
"Also my sons," Splinter started as the four were cleaning. "I am going to have to move your training a little later on Saturday as I have a morning class to teach." Usually they got up early on Saturday's to train around eight in the morning and wrapping up well into the afternoon. "We will have to start at noon instead so make sure you are there on time." He emphasized. Mikey felt like he was specifically talking about him since he was usually the one that was late most of the time.
He frowned. He could show up on time.
They all nodded their heads in agreement.

After dinner was cleaned up and taken care of everyone went on to do their own things. Usually after dinner Mikey would watch some TV or play a game with Raph or Leo, or bother Donnie while he was working in his makeshift lab in the basement. But he didn't really feel like it this time, besides he had homework to do, correction, try to do.
He made his way back upstairs to his room as everyone else also retreated to do their respective things.

Mikey once again closed his door and sat down at his desk, his blank work sitting in front of him. Okay back to square one. He took a shower and had a full meal, so getting started on his work shouldn't be an issue.

So why couldn't he do it?
Mikey leaned back in his chair and sighed, looking at his work in front of him. He felt tired.
He picked up his phone and read the time: 9:00pm.
"Well if I go to bed now, I could get up early and just finish this in the morning before class." Mikey talked to himself, deciding to just do his work in the morning instead. Surely he would hav enough time to do it and with a good night's sleep he would be out of his funk and actually have motivation for it.

He got up from his desk, turned off the light and made his way over to the bed, once more getting under the covers and relaxing under the warm weight. He set his phone alarm for the morning and put it on the charger before getting into a comfortable position and falling asleep.

---

Leo made his way downstairs to the basement where Donnie was in his makeshift lab. He had taken over the basement when they were kids starting out with a computer and his desk in the corner and now pretty much the entire basement was covered with his desks, computers, projects and other scientific equipment that his brother had collected over the years. It was impressive the knowledge Donnie possessed and all of the inventions he has made over the years.

"Hey Donnie?" Leo asked, walking up to his brother who was sitting at his desk working on what looked to be homework.
"What's up Leo?" Donnie looked up from his work and smiled slightly.
"Have you noticed anything...odd with Mikey lately?" Leo asked. He had felt there was something off with his youngest brother since this morning.
"Besides Mikey's usual odd behavior? No." Donnie chuckled but stopped when he noticed Leo's expression of worry. "Why do you think something’s up?"
"Hmm," Leo took a second, "He just seemed off today. He was very quiet in the car ride to school this morning and we didn't see him all day only to come home and find him with an injured face." Leo explained, getting his concerns off of his chest.

"Well everyone has off days Leo, even Mikey." Although it was rare he did, Donnie thought. Mikey was usually so happy and full of energy it was hard to ruin his mood and throw him off his usual self. He's always been like that for as long as he could remember.
"I think you're just worrying too much." Donnie gave his older brother an understanding smile. Leo was the oldest and he always looked after all of them, especially after their mother had passed away when they were younger. He had really stepped up into a parental role for the rest of them.
"I think you're right Donnie." Leo sighed. Maybe he was reading too much into his youngest brother. Maybe he was just having an off day.
"I wanted to ask you another thing." Leo asked once more.
"Sure." Donnie was curious what else his oldest brother had to say.
"Do you really think Mikey got that bruise from falling into a locker?" Leo questioned. Donnie took a moment before answering.
"Well, I wouldn't put it past Mikey to have gotten hurt from a locker of all things. You know how clumsy he can be. Remember when we were 10 and he ended up spraining his ankle by tripping over his own feet? And all the other times he has gotten hurt by doing stupid or minor things?" Donnie couldn't even keep track of how many times he had to patch Mikey up after he had hurt himself.
"You make a good point." Leo sighed.
"Besides, if something really was going on Mikey would tell us. Why would he lie?" Donnie reassured.
"You're right Donnie." Leo smiled slightly. "Anyways, it's getting late, I think I’m going to head to bed, you should too."
"I'll go to bed soon, I just have a few things to finish up." Donnie said as he yawned before going back to the work in front of him.

Leo didn't say anything else and turned to head back upstairs. He thought about what Donnie had told him and the conversation had made him feel somewhat better. But he still had this nagging thought in the back of his head that something was wrong. That his youngest brother was not telling him the full truth about what happened.

But maybe he just needed to take Donnie's advice and stop worrying all the time, and trust that his youngest sibling would come to them if there was an actual issue.
So he'll push his worry to the side for now, and hope that he was just overthinking everything.

Chapter Text

*Bzzzt*
*Bzzzt*
*Bzzzt*

Mikey opened his eyes at the sound of his phone going off. He lazily reached for his phone that was next to his bed to turn off the alarm and read the time: 5:00am.
Mikey groaned and dropped his phone, not caring that it fell onto the floor instead of the side table.
He felt awful. And not just because his face was aching from having rolled over at some point in the night onto his stomach. His entire body felt heavy and he felt...numb. It felt like a heavy presence in his head that spread to the rest of his body, making him feel like he was disconnected from himself and everything around him.

Mikey pulled his blanket back over him, his body covered except for his eyes. He stared into the darkness of his room, noticing the slight light that was coming through under his door from the hallway indicating that someone was already up. He pulled the blanket over his eyes, covering his entire body now. He should get up, but he couldn't bring himself to do so.
'It's only five.' He thought to himself. He still had some time before his brothers would leave for school. Just ten more minutes of sleep, then he'll feel better.

---
To say that Leo was a morning person was an understatement. Sometimes his siblings couldn't understand how their oldest sibling could wake up so early fully rested and ready for the day. But Leo enjoyed the early hours of the morning. It was peaceful with nothing to disturb or distract him.

He liked to start out his mornings with some meditation before getting ready for school and getting things ready for him and his siblings. He usually got up an hour earlier than everyone else to do so until he heard noise from one of his siblings' rooms to indicate that they were waking up. Speaking of, he could hear Raph getting up in the room next to his. His younger brother was not quiet at all getting up. Sometimes Leo wondered if he fell out of bed with how much noise he made.

Taking that as his queue, Leo got up from his position on his bedroom floor, stretching as he stood. He went to get changed, choosing a pair of black jeans, a blue shirt, and a black and blue casual jacket to wear for the day. He brushed his teeth and washed up in his own bathroom before grabbing his already packed backpack to head downstairs. As he stepped out into the hallway he glanced at the bedrooms of his siblings. He already knew Raph was up, and Donnie usually had his door open in the morning, so he could see the lights on and his second youngest sibling packing up his own bag. He looked at Mikey's door which was closed and noticed that no light was coming from under the door to indicate his youngest sibling was up yet. Leo shook his head and continued downstairs.

'Guess Mikey's streak of waking up early only lasted one day.' He thought to himself, remembering the conversation he had with Mikey the other day at breakfast.
Once downstairs and in the kitchen Leo placed his backpack on the back of the chair he usually sat at. He went into the kitchen and grabbed the teapot that was sitting on the stove, emptying out any water that had been sitting there overnight and replacing it with fresh water, putting it back on the stove burner and turning it on to let the water boil. He leaned against the opposing counter while waiting for the whistle of the teapot to indicate it was done. Normally he would make sure all of their lunches were ready and packed for the day, but it was Friday and on Friday's they decided to just buy lunch instead to give each other a break from making lunches all week.

It was easier on him anyway, one less thing to worry about.
"Morning Leo." Donnie said as he walked into the kitchen, placing his own bag down by his chair.
"Morning Donnie." Leo gave a small smile as he greeted his brother back as Donnie went to make his own breakfast, grabbing the loaf of bread from the fridge to make some toast. The mornings were usually silent until Mikey got up. Even when he was tired he still had some energy to himself, certainly enough energy to antagonize Raph in the morning. Speaking of Raph, Leo could hear him coming downstairs, being almost as loud as he was when getting up.

"Ooh thanks Donnie." Raph had walked up behind Donnie and stole one of the pieces of bread on his plate, making the purple hoodie wearing teen glare at him.
"C'mon Raph, make your own breakfast." Donnie grumbled as he sat down at the table with the rest of his food while Raph stuck his tongue out at him.
Leo shook his head at his siblings as he grabbed a cup and teabag as the whistling of the teapot sounded, pouring himself a hot cup and letting the tea bag soak for a minute or two before drinking it. He joined his other two brothers at the table as they ate in silence and he drank his tea in small sips due to the hot water.

As time went by Leo noticed that Mikey had not joined them yet. It wasn't unusual for Mikey to be late though and most days did begin with him having to rush Mikey to get out the door on time. He pulled out his phone to check the time: 5:45pm. He frowned. He would have to get Mikey up, again.
He knows he always told his siblings he would leave without them if they weren't ready on time, but in reality he didn't have the heart to actually do that. He just hoped it would get them up sooner than later.

"I'm gonna see what's keeping Mikey." Leo sighed as he got up, placing his now empty cup in the sink before heading back upstairs to his youngest brother's room. As he got to Mikey's door he noticed that the lights were still off.
"Mikey?" Leo called into the room as he opened the door, the light of the hallway creating a small path of light and illuminating the bed where he could see his brother still under the covers. Leo sighed once more and stepped into the room and turned on the light. Mikey didn't move.
"You're going to be late Mikey, you have to get up." Leo walked over to him, placing a hand on the top of his blanket to pull it off but Mikey shrugged him away.
"Not going. Don't feel good." He heard the other say quietly under the covers.
"What do you mean you don't feel good? Do you feel sick?" Leo asked concerned, trying to get Mikey to at least look at him but he was shrugged away each time.

"Alright. I'll tell dad you aren't feeling good so he can call the school." Leo frowned, feeling a little uneasy that his sibling was not feeling well. Could he have gotten an infection from his bruise making him feel sick? Is that even possible? That would be a Donnie Question. It also unsettled him that Mikey wouldn't even look at him, but maybe he just didn't want him to see him in his sick state.
"Do you need anything?" He asked, stopping at the door frame. He didn't get a response, so he took that as a no.
"Okay. Feel well little brother, I'll check on you after school." He turned off the light and closed the door. He made sure to tell his father about Mikey before heading back downstairs to tell his siblings as well before they all headed out to the car.

"He's sick?" Donnie asked as he got into the back of the car, Raph taking the front seat.
"He said he didn't feel good." Leo said as he pulled out of the driveway and towards the school.
"He's probably just faking it to get out of school." Raph said as he placed his elbow on the inside of the car door, resting his head in his hand. "I mean c'mon it's Mikey we're talking about." Raph said as if stating a fact. Leo rolled his eyes at his brother's ignorant statement.

"He didn't seem like he was faking it. I couldn't even get him to look at me." Leo explained, fully believing his youngest brother was sick unlike Raph.
"Well I'll check on him when we get home later." Donnie said as Leo pulled into the school and parked his car in the student lot, already thinking of what Mikey could be sick with. There haven't been any outbreaks of people getting sick in school that Donnie heard of, but sickness did spread easily in a closed space environment with so many people.

"Sure, and when I'm right about him faking it, don't say I didn't tell you so." Raph said as he opened the door to get out, earning a glare from Leo who was not a fan of how he was reacting to Mikey being sick.
"Just ignore him Leo, Raph's just being Raph." Donnie tried to reassure as he noticed Leo's mood turning sour from Raph’s comments.
"I know Donnie." Leo sighed. "I just wonder if he hears himself sometimes." Leo got out of the car to head into the school with Donnie, attempting to put his worry to the back of his mind to focus on the day instead.

-----------------------------

Mikey didn't know how long he had been laying in bed for. He remembers Leo trying to get him up and leaving, and soon after his father came in to check on him. Mikey didn't say much to either of them, just telling them he didn't feel good and leaving it at that. His father left him alone after bringing him some tea and informing him he would be at the dojo as usual to teach his classes but if he needed anything at all to call and he would come home.
Mikey pulled his covers down slightly so he could see, spotting the cup of untouched now cold tea on the side table next to his bed that his father brought him. He hadn't eaten anything but he had no appetite.

He heard buzzing coming from the floor. Peering over he saw his phone on the ground where he must have dropped it. He reached down to pick up the device, covering himself again with the blanket, squinting his eyes slightly at the bright light of his phone. He saw multiple text messages, some from his brothers telling him to feel better and one from Renet who was asking why he wasn't at school. He at least responded to her, letting her know he wasn't feeling well before turning off his phone and putting it under his pillow, not really feeling in the mood to be conversing with anyone even if it wasn't in person, or being on his phone in general.

Mikey pulled the blanket around him tighter, trying to get wrapped up as much as he could. It was the only thing that felt somewhat comforting to him.
He didn't know why he was feeling like this, why he felt numb and had zero motivation to even get out of bed.
'You can't even get out of bed, how pathetic.' Mikey’s thoughts were getting to him. He shook his head as if trying to make them go away but that didn't help.
'Your brothers are right, you are irresponsible.' Mikey buried his face into his pillow.
'They wouldn't let something like this get to them, why can’t you be more like them?' The fabric against his face felt damp. When did he start crying?

Mikey grabbed both ends of his pillow and folded them up over his head, his body shaking slightly as he was crying harder now, trying to ignore the thoughts that weren't leaving him alone.

---------------------------

The school day had been pretty long and despite trying, Leo wasn't able to keep his worry at bay about his youngest sibling. He still managed to pay attention in classes and get all his work done, he was good at not letting distractions get to him when it came to his academics, but the rest of the day felt like it was going by painstakingly slow. And Raph was not helping either. He had gotten annoyed with Leo at lunch and told him to stop worrying so much and that Mikey wasn't a child that needed taken care of, and reinforced his suspicion that Mikey was just faking it. This had caused the two of them to start arguing and they would have gotten into a fight if Casey hadn't gotten in between them.

But if Leo was honest there was some truth to Raph's words. He always got too worried over all of them, not just Mikey. It had been that way since they were kids, but they weren't kids anymore were they. Mikey was 16 now, he didn't need Leo worrying over him like he was a baby anymore. It's something he would just have to work on then, Leo decided for himself. But that wasn't going to stop him from at least checking in on him.

Leo opened the door to their house, both him and Donnie walking inside, taking off their shoes, and putting their bags down on the couch in the living room.
"I'm going to go check on Mikey." Leo said to Donnie who nodded in response and was heading into the kitchen to get himself a snack.
Leo made his way upstairs and over to Mikey's room. His door was still closed, which was unusual since Mikey usually liked having his door open for his brothers to come in and interact with him.
"Hey Mikey, we're home from school, just wanted to check in and see how you're feeling." Leo said as he opened the bedroom door. The lights were still off and Mikey was still laying in bed. Leo flipped the light switch on to brighten up the room.

"Have you been in bed all day?" Leo questioned as he walked over to his brother. Mikey pulled down the covers that were over him, squinting his eyes at the bright light of his room. He looked like a mess. His face still looked swollen from the bruise on his face and on top of that it was also now slightly puffy and red from having spent the last few hours crying. His hair was also disheveled and he was still wearing his clothes from last night.

"I guess so, I haven't been keeping track of time." Mikey admitted as he sat up, rubbing his eyes as they started to adjust to the light in his room.
"Have you eaten anything at least?" Leo frowned as Mikey shook his head no, giving him a small sheepish smile.
"C'mon, let's get you up and get some food." Leo sighed. "And so Donnie can check on you." he added.

"Well I think I'm feeling better so we don't have to bother Donnie with that." Mikey chuckled awkwardly as he threw off the rest of his blanket and stood up. That was a lie. He didn't actually feel better. He still felt the same as earlier and even this small interaction with Leo was taking a lot of his energy. But he didn't want to bother his brothers with his...issues.
"It's better to be safe than sorry." Leo smiled as he placed a hand on his brothers shoulder, helping to guide him out of the room and down into the kitchen.

"Hey Mikey, are you feeling better?" Donnie asked as both Leo and Mikey entered the kitchen where he was preparing himself a sandwich.
"Oh yeah I'm feeling better." Mikey sat down at the table, forcing a smile. He felt a small twinge of guilt lying to his brother. "I think I just had an upset stomach or something this morning." Mikey put his elbow on the table, the side of his head resting in his hand as he watched his older brother finish making his food.

"You seemed pretty out of it for just a stomach ache Mikey." Leo stated as he grabbed an already opened bag of chips for them to share. "Maybe you should still check him out Donnie."
"Well I was up kind of late so I've been tired." Mikey continued his lie, hoping Leo would back off. Donnie brought his finished sandwich over to the table, placing down the plate before going over to Mikey to check on him.
"It doesn't feel like you have a fever." He placed the back of his hand against Mikey's forehead, he felt normal. "Have you had a sore throat? Nausea? Runny or stuffy nose? Aches and pains," Donnie paused, "well aside from your nose." Mikey shook his head no to each of Donnie's questions.

Donnie pulled away and went to sit at the chair adjacent to him. "It doesn't seem like you’re sick." Donnie concluded. Mikey hummed in agreement as he took chips from the bag and ate them one by one, not really having an appetite but eating for the sake of having Leo off his back.
"Told you, just a stomach ache." He glanced over at Leo who seemed to relax but still looked skeptical. This made Mikey uncomfortable.
"So did anything interesting happen at school? Like a zombie apocalypse or the cafeteria actually serving good food?" He chuckled, changing the subject.
"Yeah maybe in a sci-fi show." Donnie laughed at his brother's ever so 'normal' unusual questions. "It was pretty boring, nothing really happened, except Leo and Raph almost getting into a fight at lunch." Donnie looked at Leo who didn't seem too impressed at having that brought up.

"About what?" Mikey said with a mouthful of chips, looking over at Leo as well.
"It was nothing really." Leo mumbled as he took a few chips as well to eat.
"Raph thinks Leo worries too much over you." Donnie explained to Mikey. "He was just being a jerk about it today."
Oh. Leo and Raph almost got into a fight over him.
"Oh, I'm sorry about that Leo." Mikey didn't feel like eating anymore chips. He felt guilty that his siblings were arguing over him.

Leo was about to tell Mikey it wasn't his fault, seeing his youngest brother's mood change, but was interrupted by none other than Raph walking through the door. Perfect timing.
"Hey guys." Raph called from the door. He had stayed after for football practice and got a ride home from Casey who was also on the team. He walked over to the table where everyone else was sitting, placing his bag down on the ground with one hand, a small stack of papers in his other hand.
Raph dropped the papers he was holding in front of Mikey.

"What's this?" Mikey asked as he looked through the papers.
"Assignments and stuff you missed today." Raph opened the fridge looking for a drink. "Your girlfriend asked me to give it to you."
"I've told you before Raph, Renet's not my girlfriend." Mikey sighed as he stopped looking through the papers.
"Uh huh. Sure." Raph sat down having found a bottle of soda in the fridge. "I'm just saying she's the only girl you hang out with, so." He took a sip from his drink.

"Just because you can't be friends with a girl without it turning into something doesn't mean I can’t." Mikey glared at Raph, starting to get annoyed with him.
"And no April doesn't count. We've known her forever. She's like our sister at this point." Mikey cut off Raph who was about to retort back but shut his mouth.
"Whatever." Raph grumbled, Leo and Donnie laughing in amusement. "I see you're feeling better, if you were even sick." Raph narrowed his eyes.
"Enough with that Raph." Leo was starting to get annoyed with Raph himself about this.
"What? It's Mikey we're talking about. It wouldn't be the first time he made up excuses to get out of something." Raph said matter of factly while still looking at Mikey.

"Whatever Raph. You can be a real jerk sometimes you know." Mikey said harsher than he meant, standing up and grabbing the papers Raph brought him. "Thanks for my work." he mumbled before heading upstairs, not listening to anything else his brothers were saying.

"Way to go Raph." Leo crossed his arms. "Just can't let anything go can you."
"I didn't do anything wrong, I was just asking a question." Raph said angrily. "It's not my fault Mikey's so sensitive."
"You could have worded it better." Donnie chimed in. Raph rolled his eyes.
"Whatever." He leaned back in his chair, taking another sip of his drink and not saying anything else as they all sat in an uncomfortable silence.

----------------

Mikey closed his door behind him and dropped the papers onto his desk. He felt angry. Like really angry. He already felt like shit and then Raph had to come and make his mood worse.
Mikey kicked his backpack before sitting down at his desk, his stomach actually feeling upset this time.
"At least it's better than feeling like, whatever that was, earlier." He said to himself. He would prefer to feel angry than what he had been feeling all day, even if feeling angry made him feel physically ill. It's why he tried to not get angry often. It always left him feeling upset and guilty for getting mad at his family, at anyone really even if they deserved it. But Raph just really ticked him off.

But he also felt angry with himself. Angry that he let his day be ruined by his, stupid feelings. Angry that he almost caused Leo and Raph to fight. Angry that he felt like what Raph was saying to him was true, that he was faking this.
He felt something wet trail down the side of his face, raising a hand to wipe away the angry tears that were forming.
'I'm sick of crying.' He thought to himself as he tried to stop anymore tears from escaping. He looked at his work in front of him, the new assignments and the old ones that he left on his desk the night before.
"I need a distraction." Mikey decided. It wasn't his favorite thing to do, but homework would help get his mind off of things. He reached into his backpack that laid on its side from being kicked and grabbed a pair of headphones that he kept with him. He plugged the headphones into his phone and looked for some music to play, turning it up so that was all he could hear and turned his attention to his work, hoping to finally get some done and calm himself down.

Chapter Text

Mikey had the music up so loud that you could make out the words coming from his headphones. It helped to keep any unwanted noise out so he could focus on his homework, which was helping as he had completed almost all of his previous assignments. And it was helping him to calm down from his anger earlier. But unfortunately that anger was just replaced with how he was feeling beforehand with new added guilt on top of it. He felt bad for getting upset at Raph, even if he did deserve it, and leaving the table without saying anything to his other brothers. He didn't want to be the reason any of them were upset.

'Maybe I'll just apologize to Raph later.' Mikey thought to himself.
'But why should I have to apologize? He's the one who started it.' Mikey argued with himself. He placed his head in his hands and sighed.
'Maybe I should just see where things go instead.'
Mikey was brought out of his thoughts and jumped in his seat as a sudden hand was on his shoulder. He pulled out his headphones and saw Leo standing next to him.

"Sorry Mikey didn't mean to startle you." His older brother smiled sympathetically and moved his hand away.
"I just came to tell you that dinner was ready. I tried calling for you but I can see why you didn't respond. You know having your music too loud can damage your hearing right?" Leo picked up Mikey's headphones that still had music blasting over them.
"Yeah but if I don't have it all the way up I don't get the full experience of the song." Mikey grinned slightly as Leo rolled his eyes at him.
"Uh huh I'm sure you'll still be saying that when you're 25 and need a hearing aid." Leo teased as Mikey followed him out of the room and into the hallway.

Mikey followed Leo downstairs to the kitchen where the rest of his family was. His father, Donnie and Raph were sitting at the table already. Mikey and Leo took their seats.
Mikey noticed that Raph wasn't looking at him. This made Mikey feel a little upset that his brother was ignoring him, but it also made him a bit angry because this was Raph's fault.
'Okay fine, if Raph wants to be like that then I'll just ignore him too.' Mikey decided as he started to fill up his own plate from the food laid out on the table. Even though the only thing he had eaten today was some chips he still didn't feel like he had an appetite, but he knew he had to eat. He just filled up his plate with smaller portions than the rest of his family.

"Michelangelo, are you feeling better?" His father asked him. Mikey nodded.
"Yeah I am feeling better." That technically wasn't a lie, he was feeling better than this morning and afternoon when he got angry at Raph. He didn't feel as numb as he did earlier but he still felt out of it.
Raph scoffed at Mikey's response.
"Do you have something to say, Raphael?" Their father asked curiously, noticing the anger and tension his son was holding.

Raph scraped his plate with how forceful he was picking up his food. "Nope."
Splinter didn't believe him but found it best to not press on.
"Then perhaps you would like to share how your day went?" Raph chewed his food and placed down his fork.

"Sure. Well Leo was being annoying and over-worrying about Mikey being 'Sick'", He said that with air quotes, "And I had football practice." Raph finished short, glaring at Mikey who just looked down at his food. Mikey didn't get why his brother was targeting him today of all days.
Splinter raised an eyebrow at his angry son. "What do you mean by that Raphael?"
"What I mean is Mikey makes up excuses all the time to get out of stuff and gets treated like a baby." Raph spat out. "And then I have to deal with Leo being annoying and him being oversensitive." Raph pointed at Mikey.

"Were you faking being sick, Michelangelo?" Splinter asked his youngest son.
"No." Mikey muttered as he barely picked at his plate of food. His mood had taken a downwards turn because of Raph's outburst.
Splinter was more convinced that Mikey had been sick given how he acted this morning. He felt that there was something else causing Raphael's outburst of anger and he was targeting his youngest sibling in response.
"What's your deal Raph? Quit picking on Mikey." Leo stepped in, getting annoyed at his brothers attitude.
"And this is what I mean. You always baby him, both you and dad, and he gets away with anything." Raph had turned towards Leo now, poking him in the chest with each word. Leo glared at him.
"That's not true Raph. We would be just as worried if any of us were sick." Leo grabbed Raph's hand and pushed it away.
"Oh please you know dad wouldn't have let us get away with half as much as he does when we were younger." Raph was getting in Leo's face now as if trying to start a fight.

This confirmed Splinter's suspicion that Raph's outburst wasn't actually about Mikey and he was just taking his anger out on him.
"Enough Raphael, Leonardo. It is obvious we have some talking to do after dinner." Splinter said, not wanting to turn dinner into a fighting ground for his two oldest sons.
"Fine." Raph pulled away, still glaring at Leo.

Donnie hadn't said anything and was just observing everything that was going on, including Mikey. He noticed Mikey had stayed quiet and he could see from his expression that he was getting upset.
"You okay Mikey?" Donnie asked quietly. His younger brother didn't look at him. Mikey just continued to mindlessly pick at his plate but he wasn't actually eating anything. He had managed to make Raph mad at him because of his stupid issues. And now him and Leo AND dad were fighting because of him. He felt like he was going to cry. He didn't want to be here.
So he left.
Mikey got up from his seat without saying a word and headed back upstairs to his room, ignoring his father who was calling after him.

"Look what you did Raph, you're such a stubborn asshole." Leo spat at Raph, upset at him for making Mikey upset. Raph didn't say anything, he just went back to angrily eating his food.
Splinter only sighed. Oh the joys of being a single parent to four teenage sons.

----

Mikey closed the door behind him and pressed his back to the door. He slid down to the ground and pressed his knees to his chest, pressing his head against his knees.
He didn't understand why Raph was being so mean to him today. He didn't do anything to him. All he had done was stay home sick and Raph was angry at him for that. Why? Did he hate him that much?
Mikey wrapped his arms around his legs tight, his body starting to shake as the tears he was trying so desperately to hold back were falling now.
'It's no surprise Raph hates you. He probably thinks you're pathetic for staying home sick.' Mikey cried harder, he didn't want his brother to hate him.

"Mikey? Are you okay?" Mikey jumped a bit as he heard a knock at his door and the voice of Donnie asking if he was okay.
"Y-yeah I'm fine." Mikey scrambled to his feet, voice breaking as he tried to wipe away his tears.

"You don't sound like it." Donnie opened the door so he could talk face to face with his younger brother.
"Are you crying Mikey?" He asked concerned as he noticed his brother's red face and the tears he was trying to wipe away.
"N-no. Just, something in my eye." Mikey tried to force a smile but it just looked awkward on him. Donnie looked at him sympathetically.
"Try not to let Raph get to you, he's just being a jerk today." Donnie stepped towards his brother, trying to comfort him. Mikey frowned.
"But why does he have to take it out on me? I didn't do anything to him." Mikey asked as Donnie moved in to give him a hug. It was the most comfort he had felt all day.
"I think he's just, angry, about something else and taking it out on you." Donnie explained. "Which doesn't make how he's treating you okay.”

Mikey sighed and pulled away from his older brother to sit on his bed instead.
"Him and Leo are just being too much today." Mikey admitted.
"What do you mean?" Donnie asked curiously, standing in front of his younger brother instead of sitting.
"I get that Leo worries but he has been all over me the past few days and Raph, well you already know." Mikey got off his chest. "And now they are fighting because of me."
"Leo and Raph are always going to find reasons to fight with each other, it's not your fault Mikey." Donnie tried to reassure him. Mikey gave a small smile, but it was hard to believe what Donnie was telling him.

"Tell you what, how about you come hang out with me in my lab? Get your mind off of all of this." Donnie suggested, hoping to distract his younger brother from everything going on.
"Really?" Mikey's face lit up from that, for once showing a genuine smile. It wasn't often that Donnie let him in his lab since he had a hard time not touching everything down there.
"Yeah c'mon, I can show you what April and I are working on." Donnie smiled as the two of them left to head downstairs, happy that Mikey seemed to at least be cheering up.

---

Dinner had finished early after Mikey left the table. Donnie had offered to put away Mikey’s food for later and excused himself from the table, most likely to check up on Mikey. That left Leo, Raph, and Splinter at the table, the two brothers not looking at each other and obviously annoyed.
Splinter clasped his hands and sighed, looking at his two sons before speaking.
"Raphael, your outburst at dinner and how you are treating Michelangelo is unacceptable." Raph crossed his arms and looked down, a scowl forming on his face from being scolded.
"And Leonardo, you should not be fighting with your brother like this." Splinter said to Leo, his tone a little less harsh than it had been with Raphael.
"I'm sorry father." Leo apologized, looking down in shame at being scolded. He always tried his best to live up to the expectations of his father.

Splinter sighed. "I know you are doing your best Leonardo." He looked at Raphael who had looked up momentarily.
"Raphael why are you taking your anger out on your brothers? I sense that there is something else that is troubling you." He asked his son. Raph didn't say anything, he looked conflicted. He wasn't very good with talking about his feelings, he preferred using his fists instead.

"I don't know." Raph started. "I guess, I'm just under a lot of pressure at school and I was getting sick of Leo going on and on about Mikey. It's been getting on my nerves" Raph glared at Leo.
"He's our brother Raph, do you not care about him?" Leo retorted back a bit harshly in his accusation.
"Of course I do!" Raph looked mad at being accused of not caring about Mikey. "I'm just sick of him getting the special treatment from both you and Dad." Raph continued.
"What special treatment?" Leo asked, genuinely confused. Raph scoffed.
"C'mon you can't be that blind Leo. Mikey, and even Donnie, get treated way better than we did when we were younger." Raph explained. Leo opened his mouth to say something but closed it instead. Maybe Raph had a point.

Splinter looked thoughtful at what his son was saying, then he sighed. "Perhaps you are right my son. I do not mean to play favorites, I love all of my sons equally." Raph seemed to calm down and his expression softened but he still looked angry.
"Things were harder when you and Leonardo were younger after your mother passed away. I may have been too harsh on the both of you." Splinter explained, trying to understand his son's frustrations.
"But I would prefer that you come talk to me, instead of taking your anger out on your siblings." Splinter said to Raph, who seemed to understand what he was saying and was now feeling a little guilty for how he's been acting. "This way we can work on these issues together, as a family."

"I'll try." Raph sighed, feeling better after getting all of that off his chest and having his father actually make an effort to listen to him.
"That's all I ask." Splinter smiled at his sons, glad that they had this talk. "Now go get some rest, you will both need it for tomorrow's training. I will finish cleaning up." Splinter said as he got up to start cleaning, leaving Raph and Leo to head off to do their own things.

"Look Leo," Leo stopped before entering his room, turning to look at Raph. "I'm sorry."
"I appreciate your apology, but I'm not the one you should be apologizing to." Leo said before entering his room, leaving Raph by himself in the hallway.
He looked over at Mikey's closed door, wondering if he should apologize or not. He ultimately decided that he would leave Mikey alone for the night, and try to apologize in the morning instead.

------------

Donnie typed away at his computer. He glanced at the time: 12:30am. He looked over to where Mikey was on the small couch that they had in the basement. He was curled up with a blanket and fast asleep. They had spent the last few hours hanging out together with Donnie showing his younger brother his and April's project. The two had decided to build a robot that could do basic tasks like picking up things, detecting edges and corners, and much more, where Donnie was building most of the robot and together he and April would code it. After they could get it to do those tasks they would start working on more complex ones.

He had let Mikey mess around with it while explaining to him how it worked. He could tell Mikey didn't understand the majority of what he was saying but he was still happy to listen. In fact, Donnie was sure this was the happiest he had seen Mikey in the past few days. He believed what he had told Leo the other day, that Mikey was most likely having some off days with how he had been acting. But he worried that with Raph's recent behavior it could make things worse. And finding his younger brother crying did not help him feel better in his suspicions.

But Mikey was good at not letting these things get to him and always bounced back. Donnie couldn't think of any time where Mikey had stayed upset or angry for very long, especially not with one of them. Surely he would be back to his usual self in no time.
"Just gotta make sure Raph doesn't make things worse than he already has." Donnie spoke to himself. He had briefly heard the conversation going on between Raph, Leo and their father earlier when Mikey and him were heading downstairs so he was hoping that would knock some sense into his older brother and get him to at least apologize. But Raph was very stubborn.

Donnie sighed and looked at the time again: 1:05am. It was getting late and even though training had been moved later in the day tomorrow they still needed some sleep.
He made sure to save whatever work he had been working on before shutting down his computer. He got up and stretched briefly before going over to the couch to wake up his younger brother.
"Hey Mikey." He gently shook the other who opened his eyes slowly and looked groggy.
"Donnie? Why are you waking me up." Mikey whined tiredly. Donnie gently laughed at his brother's response.
"C'mon its late, we should head to bed. Our actual beds." Donnie pulled the blanket off of Mikey who whined in protest at losing his warmth.
"Ugh fineee." Mikey got up and helped Donnie to turn off everything else before the two of them headed upstairs, at this point being the only ones up so they made sure to be quiet as they headed to their own rooms.

Donnie's room was a little farther down the hall than Mikey's was. Mikey stopped at his door as he began to open it.
"Hey Donnie?" Donnie turned around to look at his little brother. "Thank you, I had a lot of fun hanging out with you." Donnie smiled.
"Of course, little brother. Get some sleep okay?" Mikey nodded and smiled slightly before heading into his room, Donnie doing the same once his door had shut.

---------------------

Mikey opened his eyes and looked around his room. He was comfortably wrapped up in his blanket and the sun was shining through his window whose blinds he had forgotten to close. He grabbed his phone from the side of the bed and looked at the time: 9:00am. He felt slight panic that he was late to training, again, until he remembered that their training had been moved to the afternoon today. He sighed in relief and turned off his phone screen, placing it back down. He laid in bed and looked up at his ceiling that had glow in the dark stars plastered all over it. They had been Donnie's when they were kids but as he got older he had gotten rid of the "childish" things around his room so Mikey ended up taking whatever he thought was cool from his older brother.

He smiled, an actual genuine smile. He had a lot of fun with Donnie the other night. It wasn't often his brother invited him to spend time with him since he was very particular about who could be in his lab and when. It was the perfect thing to help him take his mind off of what had happened with Raph...
Mikey shook his head. No, he wasn't going to let that ruin a good day for him.

He pulled the covers off of himself and got up. He actually felt rested today, and also very hungry. Oh yeah, he didn't actually eat anything all day yesterday. Whoops.
"I should make some breakfast." Mikey talked to himself as he felt his stomach growl in protest at him.
"Oh I should make breakfast for everyone!" Mikey beamed. He quickly got changed into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, they were just going to change again when they were at the dojo so he didn't bother to actually pick out something decent to wear.

Mikey made his way downstairs and towards the kitchen. He stopped briefly when he saw that Raph was already up and sitting at the table.
"Hey Mikey, you're up early." Raph greeted his younger brother with an awkward smile.
"Uh yeah, I was going to make breakfast for everyone." Mikey responded, briefly making eye contact with his sibling before heading into the kitchen to grab his apron, they each had one, and to grab the ingredients for making pancakes and eggs.

"Okay, sure." Raph tapped his fingers against the cup he was holding. "Do you want some help?"
"No I'm good." Mikey responded without looking at him, too busy with the ingredients in front of him. And not feeling in the mood to talk to Raph. He didn't feel as upset with Raph as he did yesterday but he didn't want him to ruin his mood and good day. He didn't want to feel like he had yesterday.

"Okay." Raph sounded a little dejected. "Look Mikey, I- '' He was about to apologize, at least attempt to apologize, when the rest of their siblings walked into the room, cutting him off.
"You're making breakfast Mikey?" Leo asked as he walked into the kitchen. Mikey nodded. "Yup, I am making some pancakes and eggs for everyone." He said cheerily.
"Oh thank god. I was afraid we would have to eat whatever Leo was going to make." Donnie said in relief, earning a glare from his older brother dressed in blue.
"My cooking is not that bad." Leo sounded offended. Raph and Donnie looked at each other. "Right, whatever you say." Raph said as he took a sip from his cup.

"Okay enough. I say this respectfully Leo, but get out of the kitchen. You guys are distracting me." Mikey shooed his oldest brother out of the kitchen so he could focus on cooking.
He placed two pans onto the oven, turning the burners on so they could heat up. He mixed all of the ingredients for the pancake batter in a bowl. He was not going to use that boxed crap. Homemade was the only acceptable form of pancakes in Mikey's opinion.

He gave the bowl a good stir until the batter started to form properly. Once it looked good he took a measuring cup and poured some of the batter in, making sure he made an even amount of pancakes for everyone. He poured the batter from the measuring cup onto one of the pans to let it cook. As he was doing that he took the eggs and cracked a few into the other pan, planning to make scrambled eggs for everyone.

He repeated the process until he was out of batter and had enough eggs for the rest of them. He placed all of the dirty dishes into the sink and divided up four plates worth of food.
"And done!" Mikey announced to his brothers. Leo got up to help him bring the plates to the table, each carrying two, one for themselves and their brothers.
"Thanks Mikey." His brothers thanked him before digging into their breakfast, Mikey smiling as he began to eat his own. If there was one thing he liked more than cooking, it was getting praise back for it.

The four ate mostly in silence with 'thank yous' being passed around to Mikey. Once the four finished eating and put their dishes into the sink it was time for them to head out to the dojo for their training.
Leo made sure everyone was ready before driving them all there to meet their father.
As they got there, their father was finishing up his morning class so they went ahead to the locker room to get changed into their dojo Gi's they used for training. Once changed the four exited the locker room and went to do their warm ups while they waited for their father to be done with his current group. They went off to the side and started their warm up by doing various stretches.

Mikey sat on the matted floor with one leg bent towards him and the other stretched out, leaning forward to touch the end of his foot to stretch his hamstrings. He looked up at his siblings who were silently doing their own stretches and then at the group his father was working with. It was a group of kids around his age who were currently sparring against each other. He could see his father observing them closely, making sure their stances were correct, looking for the smallest thing he could critique. It made Mikey think about his own training with his father.

How many times he had been critiqued, told his stance was wrong or off, made to do extra training because he was late or got it wrong the first time. His brothers were ahead of him and each time he felt he was catching up to them, they just moved farther along.
His father always gave them more praise than him, telling him instead he had potential but he needed to apply himself to reach it. That was his nice way of telling him he sucked and would never be good, at least that's what it felt like.

Mikey frowned and shook his head lightly. 'I need to focus, I can't be thinking about that.' Mikey thought to himself as he moved to do other stretches along with his brothers.
But he was starting to feel slight anxiety. He didn't want to keep disappointing his father, his brothers. But it was so much harder to apply himself like his father wanted, like how his brothers could. They all had stuff going on in their private lives yet they were still able to excel in their training, compared to Mikey who didn't really have much going for himself except his silly art club and he still couldn't put in as much effort as they did.

He didn't even know if he wanted to put the effort in though.

"You okay Mikey?" Mikey was brought out of his thoughts by Donnie who looked at him a bit concerned.
"Hmm yeah I'm good." Mikey responded as he stretched his arms.
"You sure? You looked like you were staring into space." Donnie commented, observant as usual.
"Oh I was just thinking about how trainings gonna go, and how I'm gonna kick everyone's butt." Mikey grinned, doing his best to push down his anxiety.

"Pfft, only in your dreams." Raph had walked over to them as he finished up his own warm ups.
"What afraid that I'm gonna kick your butt, again, Raphie?" Mikey taunted his sibling, actually conversing with him this time compared to this morning. Even though he was behind his siblings he had still managed to beat Raph the last time they were paired together for sparring.
"I let you win last time." Raph retorted.
"uh huh, sure. Tell yourself whatever you need to feel better." Mikey kept taunting, earning an eye roll from his older brother but also a small smile. Raph was glad that Mikey was at least interacting with him normally now, given what had happened yesterday. He would still need to apologize to him though.

"My sons, are you ready for your training?" Their father walked up to them as the last of his morning group headed out. The four stood up and bowed slightly, "Yes Sensei." They said in unison before following him to the center of the dojo.

"Today we will be doing some sparring." He started as the four kneeled in front of him sitting side by side. "Leonardo, Donatello, you two will be paired together." He said to the two who nodded their heads.
"Raphael, Michelangelo, you two will be paired together and will go after your brothers." He turned to the other two. Mikey and Raph nodded in acknowledgement.

"Looks like I'll get that chance to kick your butt again." Mikey leaned over and whispered at Raph while Leo and Donnie got up with their father to grab their weapons. Raph merely rolled his eyes.
Leo and Donnie grabbed their weapons from where they were being held off to the side. Leo grabbed his twin katanas and Donnie grabbed his bo staff. Since they were more experienced and had been training for practically their entire lives they had gotten to the point where they could use actual weapons compared to their sensei’s other students. They knew how to wield them and to not go too far as to hurt one another.

Leo and Donnie got into the middle, both standing across from each other, taking their stances with weapons in hand.
"Hajime!" Splinter called from the side and the two went at each other.
Mikey watched his two brothers sparred off against each other. Donnie and Leo danced around each other, their movements fluid as they moved around dodging each other, as if anticipating each others next move. Mikey was always impressed with his brothers skills.

Leo made a swing, Donnie dodged and managed to knock him down with his staff but Leo was right back up as quick as he fell. He swung again at Donnie who blocked with his staff, Leo taking that as his opportunity to do a foot sweep, knocking Donnie down and spun around, kicking his staff out of his hand and across the mat, leaving Donnie on his back and his sword pointed at him.
Donnie put his hands up and gave a sheepish smile, acknowledging that Leo had bested him.
"Yame!" Splinter called, signaling that the match was over.

Leo stepped back and reached out a hand to help his brother get up, Donnie accepting and letting himself be pulled up.
"Excellent Leonardo." Splinter praised his oldest son who bowed in response to the praise he got.
"And very good work as well Donatello. But remember to not let your guard down." Splinter critiqued. Donnie nodded and went to take his previous seat next to Leo.

"Raphael, Michelangelo." Splinter called to indicate it was now their turn.
Mikey could feel his anxiety growing more as he got up with Raph to grab their own weapons. Raph used twin sai as his, and Mikey had his nunchaku. He liked the weapons he had grown up learning to use. Being able to freely wield his weapon and move as he wanted, the freedom to attack from afar or up close, the flexibility he had with his weapons over the ones his brothers had that required more strict control over.
He held each one in each hand, spinning them for the familiar feeling before swinging the other end towards him to trap it between his arm and his side, the other end still being held in a firm grip in front of him.

He took his spot across from Raph who had gotten into his own stance with his own weapons.
"Hajime!" Splinter announced for them to start. Raph wasted no time in charging forward at Mikey who moved to the side as his brother swung forward. As fast as he moved Raph turned on his heel towards him, Mikey dodging each of his attacks. If Mikey was anything, he was faster than Raph, faster than all of his siblings actually.
Taking note from Leo, while Raph was swinging at him and getting more and more frustrated at Mikey dodging him, Mikey dodged down and did a sweep kick to knock Raph over.
Mikey gave a taunting laugh as he brother went down but he let his guard down and Raph swung back up and managed to hook his sai in one of the chains of his nunchaku and rip it away from his hand, the weapon landing across the mat with a small resounding thud.

Mikey was caught off guard and felt his anxiety take over now. He had messed up. Raph took his weapon. He was going to lose. He was going to disappoint his father.
Raph took this as his moment to move forward and try to knock Mikey down, swinging one of his sai's towards him.
Mikey knew he should have dodged, or at least brought up his remaining nunchaku to defend himself. Instead, without thinking he reached up with his free hand in an attempt to grab the sai from Raph.
Raph's eyes widened in panic as he saw the stupid stunt Mikey was trying to pull and pulled his arm back. He was just a second too late as the blade of his sai sliced against Mikey’s hand, making the other fall backwards, letting go of his remaining nunchaku and grabbing his hand.

Mikey could feel the stinging pain going through his hand and up his arm. He couldn't tell if the cut was deep or not due to how much blood was now covering his hand.
"Yame!" Splinter called out, going over to his son with worry at his injury.

"Mikey I, I'm sorry it was an accident." Raph said as he dropped his weapons, worry all over his face at seeing his younger brother hurt.
Donnie had gotten up to take a look at Mikey's wound.
"I can't tell if it's deep or not, you're going to have to clean it up first. Here I'll help-"
"No, it's fine, I can do it myself." Mikey muttered as he got up and went into the locker room before his father could say anything and Donnie could follow him.

Luckily they were the only ones here so the locker room was empty. He made his way over to the sinks and turned on the cold water, placing his hand under the stream to let the blood wash off and flow down the drain, hissing quietly as he felt the sting of the fresh wound being pushed open to let the water in. As the water rinsed away most of the blood he could see that the wound didn't look too deep so nothing he needed to get stitches for. He sighed in relief at that.

On the wall was a first aid kit. Mikey went to grab the kit and brought it over to the sink, opening it up and seeing the various opened and unopened boxes of bandages and medicine. He had been patched up by Donnie plenty of times to know what to do.

First clean out the wound. He changed the water from cold to hot and added soap.

'How could you mess up so badly?'
Mikey frowned as he cleaned up his hand.
'Years of training. You should have known how to dodge him.'

Next apply pressure to stop the bleeding.

'You should have known how to prevent him from knocking your weapon away in the first place.'
Mikey grabbed a paper towel from the machine and folded it.
'You're such a disappointment. Dad is probably so mad at you for this.'

Mikey pressed the folded paper towel against the wound and pressed down, hard. He bit his lip slightly as the stinging pain shot through his hand again. He held the paper towel in place for a minute or so, the locker room falling quiet. His thoughts had stopped as his focus shifted to the pain instead.

He lifted the paper towel slightly to check if the bleeding had stopped. Almost.
He pressed the paper towel back down, the same stinging pain going through his hand again but a bit duller this time.
His head felt clear, felt quiet as his thoughts had stopped. And the pain, it almost felt...good.

Mikey lifted the paper towel off of his hand and threw it in the garbage, feeling slight panic at that revelation.
He chose to ignore it, and go back to fixing his hand.

Put pressure on the wound, then apply antibiotics.

He grabbed a small tube of antibiotic cream and put a little bit on the wound this time trying to ignore the stinging pain.

Next, put a sterile bandage on.

He looked in the box for one but realized that none were long enough to cover the wound. He looked for something else and found some gauze and gauze tape, choosing to wrap that around his hand instead.
"I'll have to ask Donnie to get some bigger bandages when we're back home." He muttered to himself as he finished wrapping his hand and cleaned up the mess he made with the first aid kit and the sink.

Mikey placed the first aid kit back onto the wall before heading to the locker room door, hesitating slightly as he worked to compose himself before rejoining his family back in the dojo.

He saw Donnie and Raph were sparring now with Leo sitting on the floor, his father watching the two intensely. Mikey didn't want to break his concentration and went to stand next to him instead, watching his siblings.

"Yame!" His father called as Donnie managed to knock Raph down and win the match.
"Michelangelo are you okay?" His father asked him, now looking at him. Mikey nodded.
"Yeah, it's not deep so I think it'll be fine." He told his father before looking down.
"I'm sorry sensei." He muttered. Splinter looked at him sympathetically.
"What you did was a bit, reckless. You should never try to grab your opponent's weapon like that unless you absolutely have to." Mikey nodded, not looking up and not responding. "But I am glad you are okay. You did very well against your brother." He placed a hand on Mikey's shoulder but the little praise meant nothing compared to the criticism he was given.

"You okay Mikey?" Donnie came over, panting slightly from his match with Raph.
"I'm okay Don, but you're gonna have to buy bigger bandages." Mikey gave a small smile as he raised his hand to show him his, okay, job at wrapping the wound.
"Sure, I'll ask Leo to stop by the drug store on the way home." Donnie said, observing the job Mikey did and how he will have to re-wrap it properly later.

"Alright, let's get back to your training." Splinter interrupted, the four once again taking their spots kneeling.
"For the rest of your training we will take it easy. The four of you will practice on any moves you feel need improvement." The four nodded and went off to do their own things, Mikey feeling guilty that practice was cut short like this because of his actions.

-----

Training lasted for only an hour more before Splinter allowed them to be done for the day and head home. Leo drove them to the drug store afterwards so Donnie could get what Mikey asked for and then drove home. The car ride was awkwardly silent. Mikey didn't feel like talking, he was just upset at what he did.

As they got home he started to make his way upstairs before being stopped by Raph.
"Look Mikey, I'm sorry about earlier I didn't mean to hurt you." His older brother apologized, worry in his voice. Mikey smiled slightly.
'So Raph is blaming himself for your mistake.'
"Its okay Raph, it was my fault not yours. I guess I forgot your sai could actually hurt me." Mikey laughed awkwardly, feeling uncomfortable as his brother just stared at him. Raph sighed.
"I'm also sorry about last night. I...shouldn't have said any of that. I was just angry and took it out on you." Raph rubbed the back of his head. Man did he hate talking about his feelings.

'He's probably just apologizing because dad told him too.' Mikey tried to ignore his thoughts, tried to believe what his brother was saying was genuine.
'You know what he said about you wasn't wrong.'

"Thanks Raph I appreciate that, I'm sorry too." Mikey said before turning around.
Raph opened his mouth to protest, not knowing why Mikey was apologizing to him, but he was already up the stairs and in his room.

Mikey closed the bedroom door behind him and flopped onto his bed, looking up at his star covered ceiling. He felt exhausted. Today felt like a roller coaster of emotions for him. He had woken up feeling good, feeling happy. Then he ruined that with his mistake at training. Just like he ruined everything...
He rubbed his fingers against the gauze on his hand, brushing over the wound that was still sensitive to even the slightest of pressure. He flexed his hand by stretching it out, then curling it up into a fist to feel the varying degrees of pain from each action, doing that each time a negative thought started to get to him.

He didn't know how long he laid there doing that, but he didn't even pay attention to when the sun dipped below the horizon, and his room became dark again.

Chapter Text

Sunday went by pretty fast and was relatively quiet and boring.
Then Monday rolled around and Mikey was back at school.
He walked down the crowded hallway to his locker. Luckily the bruise on his face was starting to fade and didn't look as ugly as it did last Thursday so less people were looking at him.

He felt a little on edge walking the hall though, worried that the same guys who had bothered him last week were ready to do so again. He got to his locker and was relieved to see Renet there waiting for him.
"Hey Mikey!" Renet greeted as he walked over. Mikey smiled, happy to see his friend.
"Hey Renet." Mikey greeted back as he went to put in his locker combination.
"Woah what happened to your hand?" She asked, noticing the bandages wrapped around his other hand. Donnie had rewrapped it for him over the weekend so it didn’t look as messy as when he did it.

"Oh, just a little accident at training this weekend. It's no big deal, just a cut." Mikey explained, opening his locker so he could grab the stuff he needed for his first and second period classes. Renet knew about how Mikey and his brothers grew up learning ninjutsu with their father and had actually attended their sessions every once and a while. Her and Mikey had also been friends since they were kids so she knew pretty much everything about his life and vice versa.

"And you need to wrap your entire hand for a cut?" Renet questioned. Mikey closed his locker and leaned against it.
"Not really but I think it makes me look cool." Mikey joked as Renet laughed.
"You know it kind of does." Renet smiled as she leaned against the locker facing her friend.

"So how was your weekend, aside from your hand getting hurt. I didn't hear from you much." Renet asked. Mikey sighed.
"It was eventful." He paused. "Raph was being an asshole."
"Why?" Renet asked curiously. Mikey shrugged.
"He was angry and decided to take it out on me. I mean he apologized for it after." Mikey explained.
"No offense but Raph's always an asshole." Renet crossed her arms and said matter of factly.

"Oh I know, I've lived with him my entire life." Mikey grinned. "Anyway, how was your weekend?"
Renet smiled and her mood changed to excitement. "Well, it was pretty good. More than good actually, I went on a date with someone and we may be more than friends now."
"Ohh who's the lucky lady?" Mikey smiled, happy for his friend at the news she was sharing.
"Well you'll meet her at lunch, she's actually in our grade." Renet stated.
"Okay so that just narrows it down to…a lot of people." Mikey chuckled. "Alright fine I'll wait until lunch to find out who she is."
Renet smiled, beaming with happiness about her new relationship. Just then the bell rang and everyone started heading towards their first period class.

"See you later." Mikey said to Renet as they both headed in opposite directions to their own classes. Mikey's first period class was Art which was always a good way to start off the school day especially on a Monday.
Mikey entered the classroom and saw his seat was still open in the back table. They had open seating and Mikey usually preferred the seats in the back because it was quieter and had less distractions.

As Mikey made his way over to his seat he noticed someone sitting in the seat next to his, which was unusual since most of his classmates preferred sitting up front.
"Oh I didn't know you were in this class too?" As he got closer he noticed that the person sitting there was Zane. How had he not noticed that he was in the same class? He did stick out.
Zane looked up from what he was working on and smiled when he noticed it was Mikey talking to him.
"Oh hey. Yeah I've been in this class for about a month now." Zane explained as he moved some of his stuff over so it wasn't in Mikey's space. Mikey sat down and placed his bag next to his own seat.
"Really? I didn't even notice. And no offense you kind of stick out, I must be going blind." Mikey joked as he grabbed his stuff from his bag for the class.
"I stick out?" Zane questioned. Mikey nodded

"I mean yeah. You got dyed hair, piercings, and the way you dress kind of sticks out too," Mikey started to explain before realizing he might be coming off as rude, "Um, not that it's a bad thing you look good-well I mean.." Mikey became flustered and Zane laughed.
"It's alright, I take that as a compliment. I don't dress this way because I don't like it." Zane smiled as he referred to his outfit he had on today which was a pair of blank skinny jeans, a t-shirt with a logo Mikey didn't recognize and a black leather jacket this time. Mikey nodded, feeling flustered and his face warm in embarrassment.

"So what are you working on?" Mikey changed the subject. He looked over at what Zane had been working on when he got into class. "Wow, that looks really good." Mikey complimented.
"Oh thanks, I've been working on it for a few days now." Zane explained. He was working on the recent assignment they were given which was to do a still life drawing of their choice. He had chosen to do a still life of a vase of flowers he had back home. But over time some of the flowers had begun to wilt so his drawing was becoming an interesting mix of living and decaying flowers.

"Well you definitely have more than I do." Mikey grabbed his own sketchbook and opened it to a page of various sketches he had made to try and decide what he would do for his own drawing.
"This one looks interesting." Zane pointed to a sketch in the upper left hand corner of the page as he looked at Mikey's own work.
"Are those swords?" The sketch he was looking at was a still life of the weapons Mikey and his brothers use during their training and had been using since they were kids. Mikey felt like it was a good way to not only represent himself but his family as well.

"Yeah they belong to my older brother." Mikey smiled as he began to explain what the weapons were and for. "These ones belong to my other brothers," Mikey pointed to Donnie's bo staff and Raph's sais, "And these ones are mine," He pointed to his nunchaku last. "My father is pretty much a ninjutsu master and he's been training us since we were kids. He even has his own dojo that we train at."

"Wow, that's pretty cool. So are you also like a ninjutsu master?" Zane asked with admiration in his voice.
'A ninjutsu master? hah as if you could be that good.' Mikey ignored his thoughts.
"Not exactly, my brothers are way better than I am." Mikey said sheepishly.

"How many brothers do you have?" Zane asked.
"I have three older brothers." Mikey responded.
"Wow I can't imagine having that many siblings." Zane said in awe. "I only have one sibling, an older sister but she's away at college so it's just my parents and I." Zane explained.
"Must be nice." Mikey instantly felt guilty saying that. "Not that I hate my brothers or anything, they can just get too much sometimes." Mikey said sheepishly, thinking about the times it got tiring with his siblings but also how he would feel lonely without them.
"I get that. When my sister was living at home we would butt heads all the time, but I do miss it sometimes." Zane smiled sadly. Mikey nodded in understanding.

"Alright class." The Art teacher walked to the center of the room and began to speak, interrupting ongoing conversations as everyone fell quiet to look at her.
"Today's class you will just continue working on your still life's. If you finish it early feel free to hand it in and start on the next assignment." She said briefly. Everyone acknowledged what she said before going back to their conversations and the room became louder again.

Zane had gone back to focusing on his work and Mikey was left to decide on which sketch he would turn into his still life. He was thinking of choosing the one he had made of his and his siblings weapons. He did like how it looked and it would have more meaning if he chose that one. So it was decided, he was going to go with this one.
Mikey went ahead and grabbed the paper of the right size that was required for the assignment along with the materials he needed to get started. Luckily he had taken pictures of the setup so he could at least get started on his work. He would have to stop by his fathers dojo at some point to arrange everything again and draw it in person.

As Mikey sat back down he grabbed his headphones from his bag, plugged them into his phone, and put on a playlist to listen to while focusing on his work.
-------

Mikey had gotten a good bit of work done before the bell rang to indicate the end of class. He had managed to get a sketch done on the larger paper and had even started adding the details on Leo's Katanas. Mikey took out his headphones to put them away and began cleaning up, putting away any materials he used that he was not bringing home with him and put his drawing away in his assigned portfolio bag to keep it safe.

He then began packing up his bag. As he did so he glanced over at Zane who was also cleaning up and packing up his own things.
"Hey um, do you want to join us at lunch? Renet and I that is?" Mikey said without thinking.
"Oh sure." Zane was taken aback by Mikey's offer. "Sounds better than eating in here by myself." He chuckled. Mikey smiled.
"If you want I can like, wait for you outside the cafeteria so you don't have to waste time looking for us?" Mikey suggested as he finished packing his bag and threw it over his shoulder.

"Sure I'd like that." Zane picked up his own bag and the two headed towards the door, saying goodbye as they both headed in opposite directions to their next period class. For Mikey that was Math, which was still his least favorite class.

Mikey had already grabbed his stuff for Math this morning so he didn't have to stop by his locker again. As he entered the classroom with the other students he made his way to the back to his usual seat that was next to Renet who was already sitting down with her stuff out for the class.
"Hey Mikey." Renet greeted as she looked up.
"Hey." Mikey greeted back as he took his seat and started taking out his math work so he could take his notes and turn in the assignments that were due.

"So I may have invited someone to join us at lunch." Mikey told Renet who raised an eyebrow at him.
"Who?" She asked curiously.
"Um, he's new to our school. His name is Zane. We have Art together." Mikey explained. Renet frowned a bit.
"You know I have no issue meeting new people but is he like...cool with gay people?" Renet asked quietly. Oh, Mikey had completely forgotten that Renet was introducing her new girlfriend to him at lunch when he had invited Zane.

"Oh I completely forgot." Mikey groaned. Renet looked at him unamused.
"I mean he seems like a nice guy," Mikey began, "and if he does anything even remotely homophobic I'll deal with him okay?" Mikey looked at Renet who sighed.
"Okay, I'm trusting your judgment." Renet gave in. "But what made you invite him to eat with us anyway?" Renet asked.
"I don't know, we were talking in class and he's new so I figured I'd invite him." Mikey shrugged. Renet nodded and didn't ask more as the teacher walked in and class began.

-----

Math always went by painstakingly slow for Mikey given that he hated the class, so when the bell rang he wasted no time packing up his things to get out of there.
"Hey I'm gonna stop by my locker first, I'll meet you in the caf." Mikey said to Renet before heading to his locker. He made his way through the crowded hallway of students rushing to lunch. Once at his locker he put in his combination and opened his locker door. Mikey grabbed his backpack off his shoulder to unzip it and took out the materials he had grabbed for his first two classes. As he was about to put away his Math textbook it was knocked out of his hand and someone slammed his locker door shut.

Mikey looked next to him and his eyes widened slightly in both surprise and slight fear. Standing next to and slightly above him was the same guy who had messed with him last week, and the same guy who he punched in the stomach. The other kept his hand on Mikey's locker and leaned down slightly to appear intimidating.
The hallway had cleared off and only Mikey, his bully, and a few other people who did not even notice them remained. Mikey didn't say anything, waiting for the other to say or do something.

"You have some real nerve punching me and then running away." The other finally spoke.
"Well you had it coming." Mikey said back, even though everything was telling him not to speak. The other frowned and shoved Mikey against the locker now, placing his hands on both sides of him so Mikey was stuck there if he tried to move.
"You have a fucking mouth on you and its pissing me off." The other spat out, fists clenching in anger. Mikey glared at the other, starting to feel a mixture of anger and anxiety.
"If you think I'm just gonna let you get away with this shit without doing anything you're dead wrong." The other threatened.
'Just don't say anything, he'll walk away eventually.' Mikey's inner voice was trying to convince him but he wasn't interested in listening. Mikey clenched his bandaged hand into a fist, feeling the slight pain from doing so.
"I'd like to see you try." Mikey retorted back, his anxiety shooting through him now.

"Hey! What's going on here?" Before the other could respond a teacher had entered the hall and saw the two. Mikey's bully pulled away and put on the fakest smile Mikey had ever seen.
"Nothing Mr.Jackson, we were just talking, right?" The other looked over at Mikey, who in return nodded. He did not want to deal with the school or make things worse than they already were.

"Uh huh. Get to where you're supposed to be Jack. And you too." The teacher said with crossed arms and annoyance in his voice, as if this wasn't the first time he had to deal with Jack. Jack nodded and walked away, but not before glaring at Mikey before doing so.

Mikey watched as Jack walked away before turning to his locker, leaning against it briefly as he let out a breathy sigh. Great, now he had this to deal with an angry bully who was out to get him.
Mikey pulled away from his locker and opened it back up, picked up his book that had fallen to put it away and grabbed what he needed for his last two classes.

He closed his locker door and walked down the hallway towards the cafeteria.
'Jack...why does that name sound familiar?' Mikey thought to himself. He could have sworn he had heard that name before.

"Looks like I was the one who ended up waiting for you." A sudden voice brought Mikey out of his thoughts. He hadn't realized he had made it to the cafeteria entrance, and in front of him stood Zane who was waiting by the open doors
"Oh I'm sorry, I stopped by my locker and I guess I took longer than expected." Mikey said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head.
"No worries, I wasn't waiting too long." Zane smiled.
"Oh well that's good then." Mikey smiled. "Alright let's go in instead of standing out here." Mikey walked into the cafeteria, indicating for Zane to follow him.

The cafeteria was always crowded and very loud with so many people and conversations going on at every table. Mikey looked around and smiled when he saw Renet sitting at a table more off to the side of the cafetaria.
Mikey made his way over to her with Zane following behind.
"Hey Renet!" Mikey greeted as he sat down, taking off his bag and placing it under him. Zane took a seat next to Mikey.
"Hey Mikey." Renet greeted back as she looked up from her phone. "So you must be Zane then?" Renet asked Zane who nodded as he put his own bag down and grabbed a lunch bag from it.
"Yeah I'm new here, Mikey invited me to have lunch with you guys if that's alright?" Zane smiled awkwardly. Mikey noticed how awkward and shy Zane was acting, which was much different from their first interaction together.

It was sort of cute.
Mikey felt his face grow warm but he quickly chose to ignore that thought.

"Definitely! Any friend of Mikey's is a friend of mine! Sorry but it's kind of a package deal." Renet joked. Zane seemed to visibly relax at being accepted by Renet into their friend group.
"Sounds like a good deal then. I don't have any friends here yet, so thank you." Zane smiled as he took out his lunch which seemed to just consist of a sandwich and a few snacks.

"Oh so when am I meeting this new girlfriend of yours?" Mikey leaned forward to ask Renet, changing the subject and grinning at how flustered and happy she got.
"Soon, she's just getting lunch. I think she's still in line." Renet glanced over at the long line of students waiting to get their own food.
"See this is why I always bring lunch so I don't have to be stuck waiting the entire time." Mikey teased as he took out his own lunch. It was Donnie's turn to make lunches for everyone and thankfully he was not a bad cook, at least not as bad as Leo was.

"Oh you have a girlfriend?" Zane asked as he took a bite out of his sandwich. Mikey noticed Renet tense up a bit but she kept a smile on her face. He couldn't blame her, he didn't know where Zane stood with lgbtq+ stuff but looks like they were going to find out.
"I do. We just started dating actually." Renet explained cautiously. Zane nodded.
"And your school is okay with that?" Zane paused, "Sorry that came out wrong. My old school had a big bullying problem especially with gay students." Mikey swore he heard some sadness in Zanes' voice as he explained. "I just hope it's not the same here."

"Oh, well we have a zero tolerance policy here for bullying and the majority of the school is pretty accepting except for a few people here and there but that's to be expected." Renet relaxed now, and Mikey was relieved that his new friend did not hold any homophobic views.
"Well I'm glad to hear that." Zane smiled.

"Ugh finally that line was so long and I swear the lunch ladies were taking their time on purpose." A new person had walked over to their table, put their tray down, and sat next to Renet.
"I was wondering what was taking you so long." Renet said before looking at Mikey and Zane. "This is my girlfriend, Jocelyn." She introduced the other who smiled and gave a small wave. Jocelyn had long brown hair with bleach blonde tips that was put up in a messy bun, green eyes, and a soft pink hoodie.

"It's nice to meet you. I'm Mikey." Mikey introduced himself.
"Renet has told me a lot about you." Jocelyn remarked.
"All good things I hope." Mikey chuckled before looking at Zane. "And this is Zane." Mikey introduced Zane who shyly smiled. Renet was smiling and seemed content that her girlfriend was already getting along with her friends.

From there they spent the rest of lunch just conversing. Mikey didn't say much, he mostly just listened to the conversation the others were having and piping in here and there. As they were talking Mikey took a look around the cafeteria.
One occasion he would eat lunch with his brothers but mostly they all chose to sit and eat with their own friend group.

Mikey spotted Donnie at one of the tables in the back. He was sitting with April and another taller and bigger student who was Donnie's friend. Mikey recognized him, it was Leatherhead, which was the nickname he had given the guy cause he kept forgetting his name when they first met and now it just stuck as a nickname.

Looking around once more Mikey noticed he didn't see Leo anywhere, but he usually liked to spend his lunch period in the student council's room to get work done so it wasn't unusual that he didn't see Leo.
Loud laughter pulled Mikey out of his thoughts and he looked to the middle of the cafeteria where the jocks usually sat. And there was Raph.

He was sitting with who Mikey assumed was the football team judging by the same jackets they all wore with their team numbers on it. They always did everything together around school including sitting together at lunch. And they were also the loudest and most obnoxious in the room.
Even though Raph had apologized to him over the weekend he just couldn't shake the feelings that were there after what Raph had said to him. He knew his brother was trying but Mikey was having a hard time believing that what Raph had said was genuine. If it was then why did he say those things in the first place? If he could acknowledge that he was taking his anger out on him then why did he still do it?

Mikey frowned and squeezed his bandaged hand shut, hoping the pain that would come from it would distract him. He really did not want to think about Raph and what happened right now.
But apparently the universe just wanted to make him feel worse today.

As Raph was laughing another jock threw his arm around Raph in a playful manner and it looked like he said something funny as they all broke out into even louder laughter.

Mikey's eyes widened slightly and he immediately felt anxiety go through him. He recognized that jock. It was the same guy that had bullied him last week, and the same guy who confronted him in the hallway.
Jack.
Now Mikey realized why that name sounded familiar. He was on the football team with Raph.

"Hey are you okay?" Mikey jumped slightly as he was pulled away from his thoughts once more. He turned to look at Zane who had tapped his arm to get his attention. Him, Renet and Jocelyn all looked at him concerned.
"Yeah! I'm fine, I was just thinking about...things." Mikey laughed awkwardly.
"Are you sure? You kind of zoned out for a bit and it looked like you saw a ghost or something." Renet asked, concerned.
"Oh did I?" Mikey laughed. "Sorry I was just...thinking about the fight I got into with Raph over the weekend that's all. I'm fine." Mikey lied, but since Renet already knew about that she just nodded in understanding and they all went back to conversing. Mikey did his best to participate in the conversation this time but he couldn't help the anxiety he was feeling over finding out that Jack was on the football team with Raph, and even though he kept squeezing his hand the pain was becoming duller and not helping him as much.

Mikey knew how important the football team was to Raph. He was working so hard to become captain and to get scouted so he could play professionally in college. If Mikey raised any concerns about one of his team members and the school got involved that could make things worse for Raph too and blow everything he had worked at.
He couldn't do that to Raph.
So for now he would just have to deal with Jack and put up with whatever he threw at him, Mikey decided.

Chapter Text

Once lunch ended the rest of the day went by relatively fast with Mikey going to his next class which was English and now his last class of the day History, which was good because Mikey wanted nothing more than to get home and out of school away from Jack and whoever else he would bring along to torment him. After finding out that Jack was part of the football team, Raph's football team, Mikey felt uneasy and that feeling wasn't going away. It also didn't help that he regretted making the situation worse by talking back to the guy when he confronted him.

'Why did I do that? Why didn't I keep my mouth shut?' Mikey thought to himself. Maybe if he hadn't said anything and just let Jack do what he wanted and get payback or whatever he would leave him alone.
'But that's rarely the case with guys like that huh?' Mikey shook his head and frowned. At this point he would just have to wait and see what would happen. He couldn't go to the school for this, not that he wanted to. The last thing he needed was his family involved and worrying over him because he couldn't deter a bully, or for Raph to hate him if he ruined the football team's season.

"Well it looks like we have this class together too." Mikey looked up, being brought out of his thoughts. He had made it to the entrance of his next class, not sure when he got there having been so caught up in his own thoughts. Zane stood at the entrance, having got there at the same time Mikey had out of pure coincidence.
"You have History too? Man I must really be blind then." Mikey gave a small smile, not sure how he didn't realize that not only did he have Art with Zane but History as well.
"I guess so." Zane chuckled as they both walked into the classroom and both took a seat next to each other in the back right hand corner of the room. Luckily History also had open seating so it didn't matter where anyone sat.

"Um, hey," Zane started as he got his stuff out of his bag. "I wanted to say thank you for inviting me to lunch, I had a lot of fun and it was nice meeting everyone." Zane smiled softly as he thanked Mikey.
"Oh yeah, no problem." Mikey felt his face get warm as he took out his stuff for History and looked at Zane. "You know you're free to join us whenever you want. Renet wasn't lying about being friends." Mikey smiled, hoping that Zane would keep hanging out with them and they would become friends.
"Sure that sounds nice." Zane smiled before the room fell silent as the teacher walked in ready to start class.

"Alright class lets get started." The teacher said as she grabbed a stack of papers from her desk and stood in front of the classroom.
"To start off class and so we have enough time to go over this, I will be assigning everyone a project." She explained, earning some groans from the other students.
'Oh great, a project.' Mikey frowned as he propped his arm up onto his desk to rest his head in the palm of his hand. It's not that he didn't like the class, it was just incredibly boring to sit through, but easy enough to get through the assignments he was given, except projects cause that meant actual effort had to be put in.

"Enough, this is nothing new for you all." The teacher sighed at the class's reaction. "But to make this project hopefully more exciting for everyone, I am allowing everyone to work in a group of no more than three if you don't want to work alone," She explained as she started walking down the rows of desks to hand everyone one of the sheets from the stack she was holding.
"And you will be able to pick the topic of your project as long as it's a historic event that fits the guidelines of the rubric." Mikey took the sheet he was handed. It was two pages stapled together, the first page describing the theme and examples of what would and wouldn't be acceptable as well as everything required for the project. It required an essay and a presentation with a visual aide, as well as some extra credit stuff that they could choose to do or not. The next page was just the rubric breaking down how the project would be graded.

"I will give everyone half of the class to go over the project and find your groups." The teacher stated as she walked back to the front of the classroom and took her seat at her desk. The class took that as their queue to get started as the room filled up with the noise of various conversations happening.

"Hey, do you want to work together?" Zane leaned over to Mikey to ask, who in response nodded his head.
"Sure, although I don't think we'll be getting a third for our group." Mikey looked around the room. It seemed as though everyone else had already paired up, save for a few who were choosing to work alone.
"That's alright it can just be the two of us then." Zane accepted as he moved his desk over so it was against Mikey's, making it easier for them to talk and work together.

"Okay so, it says we have to pick a historic event in US history." Zane said, looking over the details of the project.
"So that gives us like, a ton of options to pick from then." Mikey stated as he leaned his head into his left hand so he could better look at Zane as he read over the project sheet given to them.
Zane nodded. "We can pretty much pick anything but honestly I don't know what event we should do, at least I don't have anything off of the top of my head."

"Same here. To be honest I don't pay much attention in this class." Mikey admitted with a sheepish smile before getting an idea.
"How about we meet after class to try and pick something? That way we can relax and take some time to look up different events to choose from?" Mikey suggested.
"Today?" Zane questioned. Mikey nodded. "Yeah we could like, go to my place or wherever really," Mikey paused, "if you want that is."
"I don't think today will be an issue." Zane took out his phone as if to check if today could work or not. "I'll just let my parents know, see if they can pick me up later." Zane began texting someone before being interrupted by Mikey.

"You don't have to, I can probably get one of my brothers to drive you home, I don't think they'd mind." Mikey offered. Zane stopped typing and thought about Mikey's offer.
"Okay, if you're sure they wouldn't mind." Zane put his phone down. Mikey smiled.

"Usually my older brother, Leo, drives us home so we can meet up with him after class. He usually likes to spend some time in the student council room if you don't mind waiting a little bit." Mikey explained.
"I don't mind waiting." Zane gave a small smile.

"Alright class times up. Everyone go back to your seats, it's time we get to the lesson for today." The teacher interrupted as she stood at the front of the classroom again with a new stack of papers in her hands.
"I trust that you all will be responsible enough to meet with your groups outside of class and work on your assignments." She started walking down the rows of desks as everyone moved back to where they were originally sitting, handing out the sheets in her hand that were part of today's lesson.

Zane moved his desk back to where it was before as she placed the worksheet on both his and Mikey's desks. Mikey picked up the paper that was double sided and groaned at the amount of work there was.
The teacher started talking about the worksheet and today's lesson but Mikey just droned most of it out. It was hard for him to pay attention in classes like this, where the teacher just lectured for the next hour or so, especially on topics he really did not care about.

He glanced over at Zane who looked so focused on what the teacher was saying and writing down notes here and there. Mikey wondered how he was able to do that, pay attention like that. Mikey couldn't make himself focus like that even if he really tried. Maybe he could ask Zane about it after school, if that wasn't too weird of a thing to ask.
Mikey felt a small fluttering sensation in his stomach, a small feeling of excitement, as he thought about hanging out with Zane after school even if it was just to work on their project together.

---------

Class ended and Mikey hadn't managed to complete the worksheet which meant he had to finish it for homework which was even worse than having to work on it in class.
"Don't worry I can help you out with the rest if you want." Zane stood next to Mikey's desk with his bag already packed as he waited for the other to finish putting away his stuff.

"Yes please. I hate these assignments." Mikey sounded relieved at Zane's offer to help him. He finished packing his stuff and the two left the classroom with the other students, Zane following Mikey as he made his way to the student council room to talk to Leo, keeping an eye out in the hallway for any signs of Jack or his friends just in case, but luckily they were nowhere to be seen in the crowded hallway.

"Hey Leo." Mikey greeted his oldest brother as they walked into the room, Zane awkwardly following behind him as he had no idea who Leo was or anyone who was present for that matter. The room had one of those long tables in the middle with a whiteboard on the back wall in front of it as well as some shelves along the walls with various boxes and items.

Leo was standing at the table with hands on the surface, looking at some papers in front of him and talking with who Mikey recognized as Usagi, Leo's best friend, at least that's how Mikey labeled him as he seemed to be the only one Leo hangs out with the most. Leo was actually the VP of the student council, and Usagi was the treasurer so maybe that's what they were talking about, something related to their budget or an event they want to do.

"Oh hey Mikey." Leo looked up with Usagi briefly glancing over at Mikey's direction.
"Hey so, I got assigned a group project for History and this is my partner Zane," Mikey motioned to Zane who waved slightly, "and we were going to work on it today after school at home so I'm wondering if you'd be okay letting Zane ride home with us and bringing him home later?" Mikey asked as he clasped his hands in front of him, giving Leo the equivalent of puppy dog eyes so his brother wouldn't say no.

"Sure that's fine." Leo paused. "I have to finish up something with Usagi that may take a bit if you don't mind waiting?"
"That's fine Leo." Mikey looked over at Zane who nodded his head, okay with waiting as well.
"Okay great." Leo smiled before remembering something. "Oh Mikey, can you tell Raph too? I would text him but he usually has his phone away during practice."

"Um," Mikey hesitated. Today was a short day for Raph as it wasn't a full practice day. It was more of a quick meeting with the team but he usually had his phone away regardless. But that meant Mikey would have to go to the locker room to find him, and he most certainly would run into Jack there.

But if he said no, then Leo would get suspicious and ask why, and he didn't want to tell Leo about Jack. Cause then he would get the school involved and that would interfere with the football team. And if he did tell Leo and he kept it to himself, that would look bad as he was the VP of the student council and then that could get him kicked out of the council-

"You okay Mikey?" Leo looked concerned. Mikey had gotten lost in his thoughts that he hadn't realized he was just standing there.
"yeah sorry, I'll go tell Raph." Mikey forced a smile and turned to leave the room. "You can wait here if you want, I won't be long." Mikey said to Zane who nodded before heading into the now empty hallway as mostly everyone had left to get home as soon as possible, or to whatever after school event they had.

Mikey gripped the straps of his bag as he walked down the hall and towards the gym where the locker rooms were, feeling his heartbeat speed up paired with the anxiety that was forming in his stomach.
He opened the door to the gym and headed downstairs to where the locker rooms were. Two doors stood adjacent from each other. The right door was for the girls locker room, the left one for the boys.

Mikey hesitated before pushing open the door to the boys locker room and was immediately met with laughter and conversations filling up the space of the room.
Mikey really stood out as he saw all of the jocks in the room. Some were fully dressed in their gear, some were getting dressed, and all of them just had a certain look to them that screamed jock. Mikey felt his face get warm as he tried to look away and instead tried to look for Raph who he couldn't find.

As Mikey was walking around, trying to stay out of the way of the jocks, he was not paying attention and bumped into someone from behind.
"Oh sorry." Mikey took a step back and looked up. The guy he bumped into wasn't wearing a shirt, and he turned to look at Mikey, looking down at him as he was taller. Mikey recognized him, it was Braford.

"Um sorry, I wasn't paying attention." Mikey rubbed the back of his head slightly.
"No worries." Bradford said as he put his shirt on. "No offense but you're not part of the football team, why are you here?"
"Oh I'm looking for my brother, Raph." Mikey explained. Braford nodded.
"Right, I always forget he has so many brothers, which one are you?" Bradford asked.
"Uh Mikey." Mikey stated, feeling slightly uncomfortable.
"I'll go get him for you so you don't bump into anyone else, just wait here." Bradford instructed as he turned to go find Raph. Mikey sat down on the bench that was closest to him, rubbing his hands together out of anxiety as he looked around, trying to see if he could spot Jack anywhere. Unfortunately he was just out of his sight.

"Hey isn't that the guy who tried to mess with you?" A voice said quietly off to the side of the locker room, just out of earshot and eyesight of Mikey.
Jack looked up from where he was tying his shoes and saw who his friend was talking about. The guy who had punched him in the stomach and almost got him in trouble earlier in the hall. His expression immediately turned sour.
"The fuck is he doing here?" Jack questioned. His friend shrugged.
"Maybe he's looking for you for a rematch." The other jokingly shoved Jack who punched him in the arm. He looked back over to Mikey and saw Bradford and Raph walking over to him. Why were they talking with him?

"Hey Mikey, what are you doing here?" Raph walked over with Bradford to Mikey, who looked relieved to see him.
"Leo wanted me to tell you that he has to stay late for student council." Mikey explained.
"And he couldn't just text me that?" Raph crossed his arms and looked slightly annoyed.
"He was worried you had your phone off so he sent me." Mikey shrugged. Raph rolled his eyes.

"Hey Raph." Mikey tensed up as Jack walked over to Raph and threw an arm around his shoulder. "Who's your friend? A new team member?" Jack asked, looking at Mikey in a way that sent chills up his spine and made him feel frozen in fear.
"No, this is my brother, Mikey." Raph pushed Jack off of him who laughed.
"How many brothers do you have man?" Jack crossed his arms, glaring at Mikey with a smug grin and then looking back at Raph.
"I have three. What are you doing Jack, go back to getting ready, you already missed the last two practices." Raph shoved Jack towards where he came from who rolled his eyes and started walking away before looking over at Mikey one last time with that same smug grin.

'Fuck, Raph why did you have to tell him who I was?' Mikey thought to himself as he stood up to excuse himself.
"I'm going to go back over to Leo now." Mikey told Raph before turning on his heel to leave.
"Hey tell him to just text me next time yeah?" Raph shouted over at Mikey. Mikey nodded before leaving the locker room, knowing very well that even if he told Leo he wouldn't text Raph next time either.

Mikey walked down the empty hallway to head back to the student council room. He gripped the straps of his bag tight as he felt his anxiety shoot through him now, tighter with his injured hand and feeling the now dull sensation of pain going through his hand. He had been messing with his injury so much that it was starting to feel less painful. And that should be a good thing right? That meant it was healing if he wasn’t feeling pain, right? That’s how that worked? But why did it make Mikey upset? Upset that he couldn't make it hurt more to calm his anxiety?

Mikey shook his head and if anyone was around they would see how distraught he looked. He knew he shouldn't be thinking like that. But he couldn't help it. It's what he had been using as a coping mechanism for a few days now and it was starting to not work. And to make matters worse Jack knew who he was, knew he was Raph's brother.

Mikey didn't know exactly what that meant though.
'Raph's pretty scary, maybe now that Jack knows Raph's my older brother he'll leave me alone?' Mikey thought to himself.
'Or he could use that against me.' Mikey stopped right outside the doorway of the student council room, taking a deep breath to at least compose himself before walking back in.

"Hey Leo I told Raph, he said to just text him next time." Mikey relayed the message, putting on the impression that everything was fine.
"Of course he did." Leo muttered without even looking up at what he and Usagi were doing.

"If you need to get going, Leonardo, I can take over with Usagi." A different voice sounded. Mikey looked over to the side, he didn't even see her when walking in.
Karai was grabbing a box off the shelf and placed it down next to Leo who didn't even bother to look up at her.

Karai was the actual president of the student council. Both her and Leo ran against each other and it was a tight race but ultimately she won, but she decided to make Leo her VP.
That and they had also dated.
Mikey and his brothers actually never knew why they broke up. They had been together since middle school and then suddenly broke up right before their junior year started. It was a surprise to everyone really, they seemed like the perfect couple. Mikey remembered all of the jokes him and Raph would make about her just being a female version of Leo. But when they asked Leo about it he just shrugged them off and said 'it happens' as if it was no big deal. But the two of them had stayed friends and it didn't seem like there was any bad blood between them so they never really pushed on it again.

"We're almost done, plus I have to wait for Raph to show up too." Leo explained, still not looking at her.
"You always work too hard Leo." She said before sitting down and going through the box she had pulled out.

Mikey looked over at Zane who was sitting on the couch that was in the office looking at his phone, probably scrolling out of boredom.
"Hey sorry about that." Mikey walked over and took a seat next to Zane who looked up and smiled.
'He's always smiling.' Mikey thought to himself.
"No worries. I've just been looking at tik toks." Zane showed Mikey his phone that was playing a video of a cat doing something funny.
Mikey laughed and leaned back against the couch, getting comfortable as he joined Zane in passing the time while waiting for his brothers.

--

About twenty minutes went by before Raph walked into the student council room, which was good timing as Leo and Usagi were finishing up. Karai had already left so it was just the four of them when Raph arrived.
"Thanks for staying late Usagi I'll...text you later." Leo said to Usagi as the other waved goodbye and headed out. Leo packed away the stuff they had been working on and grabbed his own bag, taking the keys out so he didn't have to in the parking lot.
"Where's Donnie? And who's this?" Raph asked, looking over at Zane, as they followed Leo out of the room and towards the parking lot.

"Don't be rude Raph." Leo looked at Raph sternly. "Donnie said he's going to be at April's, and Mikey got assigned some project. That's his partner for it, Zane. He's coming over today so they can work on it." Leo answered Raph's question as he looked behind him briefly at Zane before leaning over towards Leo and whispering, "The dude looks kind of weird." This earned Raph an elbow in his side from Leo, and Leo a glare from Raph.

Once they got to Leo's car Raph got in the passenger seat and Mikey and Zane took the backseats.
"Don't worry we aren't too far from my place." Mikey told Zane as Leo pulled out of the school lot and onto the main road.
The car ride was mostly silent, save for Leo and Raph asking each other a question here and there. Mikey rested against the car door, looking out the window and occasionally looking over at Zane who was occupying himself with his phone. Mikey couldn't blame him, it must be awkward being in a car with someone you just met and their brothers who are complete strangers.

Leo pulled into the driveway. No other cars were there which meant his father was still at the dojo so it would just be the four of them. Everyone got out of the car, Zane following closely behind Mikey as Leo opened the door to the house, Mikey being the one to lock it as he was the last one in.

As soon as they were all in Leo and Raph went off to do their own things with Leo heading to his room, probably to work on homework, and Raph went straight to the kitchen.
"Do you want anything to eat or drink?" Mikey asked Zane as they stood in the entrance hallway.
"Um, if you have any water?" Zane asked, Mikey nodded.
"Sure, just wait right here." Mikey headed into the kitchen where Raph was making himself a sandwich. Mikey opened the fridge door and grabbed two water bottles from the bottom.

"Hey Mikey," Raph grabbed Mikey's attention as he looked over at his older brother. "We're cool right?"
"What do you mean?" Mikey asked, closing the fridge door. Raph paused in putting his sandwich together to look at Mikey.
"You know, about what happened over the weekend." Mikey was slightly taken aback that Raph was bringing this up.
"Oh, you already apologized for that, it's cool bro." Mikey waved off his brother but Raph only frowned.
"I know but, I don't know you've just been acting weird since then and I guess I just want to make sure we're okay." Raph explained. Mikey paused to think about what Raph was saying. He did have his doubts that his brother wasn't being genuine with him, but he wasn't sure.

"Are you actually sorry?" Mikey decided to ask, feeling instant regret as he didn't want to cause any trouble with Raph.
"What? Of course I am Mikey I-" Mikey cut off Raph.
"You didn't apologize just because dad or Leo made you?" Mikey pressed on. He was already this far, he might as well know if Raph was being genuine with him.
"I mean, dad and Leo helped me to see what I was doing was wrong but they didn't make me apologize to you." Raph explained. "Really I am sorry."

"Okay…I believe you." Mikey smiled slightly at Raph who seemed to relax at hearing Mikey say that.
Mikey went to turn around to head back to Zane so he wasn't keeping him any longer than he already was but he was interrupted by Raph once more.
"Also, your friend, whatever his name is-"
"You mean Zane?" Raph nodded.
"Yeah him, I know Leo said you guys got assigned together to work on a project or something but be careful hanging out with people like that." Raph said with concern in his voice, but the way Raph said it like that, said it that way, made Mikey very uncomfortable. So much for leaving things on a good note.

"What do you mean?" Mikey asked. Raph rubbed the back of his head as he seemed to think about the best way to explain himself.
"I just mean, well the guy looks weird with his piercings and he even has his nails painted isn't that weird for a guy?" Mikey frowned at what Raph was saying.
"I mean not that there's anything wrong with that," Raph tried to justify himself. "but guys like that get the wrong attention and I don't want you getting mixed up in any of that, that's all. Trust me I've seen how the guys on the team treat people like…him." Raph finished.

Mikey bit his bottom lip, unsure of what to say to....all of that.
"Um, sure. Thanks Raph." Mikey muttered, not wanting to continue the conversation, and walked out of the kitchen before Raph could say anything else. That is going to be a lot to process later.

"Sorry about that, my brother was talking to me." Mikey walked over to Zane who had been waiting in the hall, trying to push away the feeling of uneasiness that Raph left with him.
"No worries." Zane took one of the water bottles from Mikey.
"Here we can work in my room, it'll be less distracting when everyone is home." Mikey explained as he began heading upstairs with Zane following behind him to his room.

As they were walking down the upstairs hallway Mikey noticed Leo in his room sitting at his own desk probably working on his own assignments.
'I wonder if I should talk to Leo about Raph.' Mikey asked himself, debating if he should bring up what Raph said to him or just leave it be.

He could figure that out later though, for now he was going to focus on this assignment with Zane.

Chapter Text

Mikey closed the bedroom door behind him and placed his backpack down.
His room was… decent. It wasn't the cleanest room to exist but at least he had managed to make his bed before school this morning.
"Sorry if my room is a bit messy, you can put your stuff anywhere." Mikey said as he pushed a few loose pieces of clothing to the side.

"Trust me I've seen worse-is that the new Silver Sentry issue?" Zane put his own bag as he noticed Mikey's comics on his desk.
"Oh yeah I picked that up a few weeks ago at the comic shop." Mikey walked over to his desk to pick up the comic, handing it to Zane to look at.
"I've been collecting these since I was a kid, I have almost all of them, even some of the special edition covers." Mikey explained happily as he referenced the rest of his collection that was sitting on the shelf in their plastic covers.

"Wow, that's impressive." Zane said in awe. Mikey smiled and felt slight excitement in his stomach at having a shared interest with Zane.
"Do you also collect comics?" Mikey asked. Zane nodded.
"Yeah but I don't have as much as you do." Zane admitted as he looked through Mikey's own collection, admiring the issues he had that he didn't.

"You should definitely come with me next time I go to the comic shop. The one we go to knows my brothers and I and they always save the best comics for us especially the new issues." Mikey invited.
"Really? That would be awesome!" Zane exclaimed with excitement before rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. "Sorry, I just haven't been to a comic shop in a long time, let alone with any friends."

"How come you haven't been to one in a long time?" Mikey asked as he sat down on the floor next to his bed, noticing how his face felt warm from seeing how excited Zane got.
"Well I used to go a lot with my old friends," Zane put Mikey's comics back in their place before going to sit next to him on the floor, pulling his backpack over to them. "but...a lot happened at my old school and my old friends and I kind of fell out of touch with each other." Zane frowned as he started thinking about his old friends and the memories he still had of them. "And when I moved schools, I just haven't heard from any of them. And I don't think I will." Zane looked down sadly.

Mikey frowned, feeling upset and...anger?
"Well, it sounds like they aren't friends at all." Mikey placed a hand on Zane's shoulder, earning him a small smile from the other. "Besides you can do much better, I mean you already are with me and Renet." Mikey grinned.

"Well you're right about that." Zane chuckled as he began pulling his stuff out of his bag. "Anyway, we should probably start working on this assignment." Zane took out the assignment to look at the requirements once more.
"Uh huh." Mikey nodded. "Orrrr we could play some video games instead." Mikey got up and went to the front of his bed where he had a small tv mounted on the wall with a console set up to it. He grabbed a controller and handed it to Zane who hesitantly took it.

"You sure? We should really work on this." Zane said, unsure if they should really be doing something other than their assignment, which was the whole reason he was over in the first place.

Mikey waved at him nonchalantly as he turned on the game console.
"We have plenty of time to work on it plus it doesn't hurt to relax a little, we did just spend all day in school after all." Mikey pointed out as he sat down on the end of his bed to be in better view of the tv.
"I guess it won't hurt to play for a little bit." Zane gave in as he moved to sit next to Mikey who only grinned as he was able to convince him to play.

----------

What was supposed to be a small break ended up turning into a few hours. They ended up playing an open world game that was already on the console that allowed for multi-playing. Despite Zane's earlier protests that they focus on their work he seemed to be having the most fun out of the both of them.

"Looks like you guys are working real hard on your project." Leo teased as he knocked on the door before letting himself in.
"Uh, we took a break?" Mikey said sheepishly as he paused the game, Zane looking embarrassed at getting caught playing games rather than doing their work.

"Uh huh. And how much did you get done?" Leo walked in and picked up the assignment that was laying on the ground with their stuff. "Oh I remember doing this one. It was an easy A." Leo bragged nonchalantly.
"Everything's an easy A to you bro." Mikey rolled his eyes. Leo chuckled.

"We haven't been able to come up with a topic to do yet." Zane admitted as he placed the controller in his hand down on the bed.
"If you want I can help to give you some ideas?" Leo offered.
"Sure, whatcha got?" Mikey asked, hoping Leo could give them something interesting to do their project on so they could at least get that out of the way.

"Well let's see, next month is October so you could do something like the Salem witch trials or Halloween related," Leo began listing ideas. "October is also LGBTQ+ history month and there are a lot of historical events there you could do."
Bringing that suggestion up made Mikey remember what Raph had talked to him about in the kitchen and what he was alluding at without actually saying it.

'If we do a paper on some lgbtq+ event would Raph have a problem with that? Would he treat me differently?' Mikey thought uneasily to himself.
'Why would he treat me differently though? I'm not gay or anything...I think.' Mikey shook his head, trying to push away his thoughts as now was not the time.

"...there's also women's history month so you could do the suffrage movement, and black history month that has a lot of options too." Leo finished listing off ideas, only half of which Mikey listened to, but Zane had listened to every suggestion Leo had given and looked thoughtful as he considered what they should do.

"Those are actually a lot of good ideas. Thanks uh...Leo was it?" Zane asked sheepishly. Oh yeah, Mikey hadn't really introduced all of his brothers to Zane.
"Leonardo, but Leo is fine." Leo smiled.
"Yup and there's also Raph, or Raphael for his full name, and our other brother Donatello but we call him Donnie or Don for short." Mikey explained as Zane nodded in understanding.

"Anyways, I also wanted to ask if you'd like to stay for dinner. We usually start making dinner once our father gets home, which is in a few hours." Leo offered. Mikey felt slightly uneasy and hoped Zane would turn down the offer. As much as he would like for his friend to stay over longer he didn't want to risk Raph saying anything at dinner like he had earlier when they were in the kitchen.

"Oh, I appreciate the offer but my parents want me to be home before dinner." Zane explained with a small smile, appreciative of the offer nonetheless.
Mikey felt relieved that he turned down the offer as it would be one less thing to deal with.

Leo nodded in understanding. "Alright, well I can drive you home before then." Leo looked at Mikey. "Just let me know when you want to go." Mikey nodded and with that Leo turned around to exit his room, closing the door behind him.

"Sorry about Leo, he tends to act like a mother hen and likes to check up on us, a lot." Mikey explained to Zane as he picked his controller back up.
"I can tell. But he did give us some pretty good ideas for our project though." Zane showed Mikey his phone where he had written down every suggestion Leo had given them.

"Wow, usually when Leo starts going on about something I end up tuning him out." Mikey chuckled, impressed that Zane was able to write down everything Leo had suggested to them. "But yeah this does make it a lot easier for us to pick something, and less work for us to do."

"Is there anything here that sticks out to you? I was thinking we could do something related to Halloween or," Zane paused, seeming hesitant, "we could do something for lgbtq+ history month. You know cause both are related to October so it seems fitting."

"Both seem like pretty good options to me." Mikey didn't really have a preference on what topic they chose.
"Hmm okay then how about we each do some research on one of the topics and then next time we meet up we can go over what we find and pick from there? I can look into historic events related to Halloween and you can look into one's for lgbtq+ history month?" Zane suggested.
"Sure that sounds fine to me." Mikey nodded in agreement to Zane's suggestion, just happy that they had some idea of where to go with their project.

"Oh hey what time did you say you had to be home?" Mikey glanced at the time on Zane's phone and saw that it was already five.
"Hm? Oh I should be fine to leave around six if that's alright?" Zane answered.

"Should be fine." Mikey picked up the other controller and handed it to Zane. "And since we pretty much have this whole project thing figured out that gives us more time to continue playing." Zane took the controller from Mikey and grinned as he moved back to his previous seat in front of the tv as Mikey un-paused the game so they could continue playing.

------

As six rolled around Mikey and Zane had to, unfortunately, pause the game they were playing but at least they had made it to a save point so they could pick up next time Zane came over.

Mikey had gone to tell Leo it was time to drive Zane home, resulting in the three of them heading downstairs with Leo telling their father who had arrived home that they would be back soon before heading out to the car.
Zane gave Leo his address which wasn't too far from where they lived, only about twenty minutes give or take.

"Thanks for driving me home." Zane thanked Leo as they pulled into his driveway, opening the door to get out. "I'll see you at school tomorrow Mikey." Mikey waved goodbye before remembering, "Oh wait, we forgot to exchange numbers."
"Oh right." Zane paused and sat back down as he was about to exit the car and pulled out his phone. "How else will we talk about the project?" Zane laughed awkwardly, his face getting a bit warm as they exchanged numbers.

"Well we don't have to talk only about the project. At least I hope not cause then our conversations will be very boring." Mikey sighed dramatically as he joked.
"Right, right." Zane smiled but Mikey could have sworn he saw his face turn a slight shade of red. "Anyway, thanks again for the ride!" Zane thanked once more before actually exiting the car this time and heading towards his house to get inside.

"You two seem to get along." Leo commented as he pulled out of the driveway and onto the main room after looking both ways to make sure no other cars were coming.
"Do we?" Mikey asked as he looked at Leo who kept his eyes on the road. Leo nodded.
"I mean, he is new to school and he doesn't seem to have any friends yet. I invited him to lunch with Renet and I and it went pretty well so I'm hoping he'll want to stick around and be friends with us." Mikey rambled on, smiling as he did which in return made Leo smile at seeing his younger brother happy, especially after everything that had happened the past few days.

"I'm glad you're reaching out to be friends with him. It can be hard for new kids to make friends, especially when they join during the semester." Leo thought back to the events student council had held for new students, ones that were incoming freshmen and others who were new to the school in general, to try and get them acquainted with others in the school so they could feel just the slightest bit less lonely, and how he had watched some make friends with no issues and others struggle more than they should have. So he was proud of Mikey for reaching out to Zane and offering to be his friend.

Mikey smiled at Leo's comment, but then remembered what Raph had said to him earlier.

'Be careful hanging out with people like that.'

"Hey Leo," Mikey started, noticing how Leo's smile fell from his face and his expression turned to one of concern instead as soon as the words left his mouth.
"Yeah?" Mikey bit his lip, hesitating as he thought if he should bring up what Raph said or not.

"Well, I'm honestly not sure if I should bring this up to you but Raph...he...-" Mikey paused.
"What did Raph do?" Leo said sharper than he intended, causing Mikey to wince slightly at his tone, his expression changing once more to one of annoyance at the mention of Raph. Which Mikey couldn't blame him for since he had been the center of issues the past few days.

"Um well, he said something kind of weird to me earlier," It was too late to back out now, "and I don't think he meant anything bad by it but, I don't know it kind of made me uncomfortable.." Mikey briefly looked away from Leo, "He told me to be careful hanging out with people like Zane."

"People like Zane? What does he mean by that?" Leo questioned.
"I'm not really sure but I think he meant...well he didn't say specifically but when I asked him what he meant by that he just mentioned how Zane has piercings and painted nails, and that people like the guys on his team bully people like...that." Mikey said that last part quietly as he noticed Leo's expression change from annoyance to…distress? Worry?
It was unusual for Mikey to see Leo look like that and he felt concern bubbling up for his older brother.

"Are you okay Leo?" Mikey asked after a few seconds of silence went by with Leo not saying anything, as if he was processing what Mikey just told him.
"Raph...said all that?" Leo's voice was quieter than it had been earlier, and the sharpness he had to his voice was gone.
"Yeah. I think he just doesn't want me to get bullied but, I don't know bro." Mikey looked down and frowned.

"I can talk to Raph about this later." Leo decided, the sharpness in his voice was back but it sounded more forced.
"Do you have to?" Mikey looked back up at Leo who glanced at him with confusion.
"You don't want me to?" Mikey sighed.
"Raph and I are on good terms, I just don't want to ruin that. Especially after everything that happened last weekend." Mikey slouched down in his seat, feeling torn between letting Leo confront him and just leaving things be.

Leo was quiet as he considered what Mikey was asking of him.
"I don't feel comfortable with letting Raph get away with saying stuff like that but, I won't say anything to him." Leo decided to honor Mikey's request. If not saying anything kept things good between Mikey and Raph, kept Mikey happy, then he would do just that.
"Thanks Leo." Mikey sighed in relief.

"Of course little brother." Leo gave a small smile. "But, you know there's nothing wrong with having things like that, right Mikey?" Leo asked.
"With what?" Mikey was slightly confused at what exactly Leo was getting at.

"Having piercings, painting your nails being...gay." Leo said the quiet part out loud. Even though Raph didn't say it directly to Mikey, even though Mikey didn't say it directly to Leo, they knew what he was referring to.
Raph was afraid that if Mikey was hanging around people who were gay, or even just seemed like it, the guys on the team would bully him.
But, why would he tell Mikey to not hang out with someone who was, instead of telling his team members to not bully?

"Of course bro." Mikey felt slightly offended that Leo would even ask him that but he understood why. His older brother wanted to make sure he knew none of that was wrong so he didn't judge or bully others who did those things.

"Good." Leo smiled. "I'm glad you came to me with this Mikey. You know, you can always talk to me about anything that's going on and I'll listen and help the best I can."

Oh, did that make Mikey feel guilty.

"I know Leo, I appreciate that." Mikey forced a smile, feeling his stomach churn in guilt as he thought about everything that had been happening the past week with Jack. He hadn't said anything about it, not to anyone, not his brothers, not to Leo. And he planned to keep it that way.

The rest of the car ride home was quiet. Mikey didn't feel like saying much after his conversation with Leo, but luckily they weren't too far from home.
Once they pulled into their own driveway and went inside, dinner was almost ready. Donnie was helping their father to set the table as he and their father greeted them.

"Michelangelo, help Donatello get the food. Leonardo, can you get Raphael?" Their father asked them. Mikey glanced at Leo who briefly made eye contact with him before nodding and heading upstairs. Mikey turned his attention back to helping Donnie, feeling slight anxiety that something could happen between Leo and Raph but Leo did say he wouldn't say anything to Raph and Leo always kept his word.

"How's your hand doing Mikey?" Donnie brought Mikey out of his thoughts as he grabbed a bowl with food in it to carry to the table.
"Oh uh, it feels better. It doesn't hurt as much." Mikey told Donnie as he placed the bowl onto the table and headed back towards the kitchen to grab another.

'Yeah because I keep messing with it. At this point my body is probably just used to the pain.' Mikey thought to himself, remembering earlier how he got briefly upset over the cut on his hand not hurting enough when he was trying to calm his nerves.

"That's good at least. Just remember to put on clean bandages tonight and let me know if it looks abnormal." Donnie instructed. Mikey nodded.
Donnie had placed the last of the dish on the table so the two of them and their father sat down, waiting for Leo and Raph.
"Hm what is taking your brothers?" Their father questioned as he looked towards the stairs.
Mikey was starting to feel anxious and closed his injured hand to press into the wound, wondering if Leo didn't keep his word and said something.
'Why else would they be taking so long? It doesn't take this long to just tell Raph dinner's ready.' Mikey thought to himself.

Heavy footsteps sounded and Leo and Raph came downstairs and both took their seats.
Mikey looked at Leo and then Raph to see if there was any indication that something could have happened, but they looked normal.
'I guess I am just being paranoid.' Mikey thought to himself as he started grabbing food to put onto his plate along with his brothers.

Once everyone had their food and began eating their father went through his nightly routine of asking everyone how their day went.
"Michelangelo, how was your day today?" Their father started with Mikey who had a mouthful of food as he was not expecting to be asked first.

"Um," Mikey swallowed his food and cleared his throat, feeling slightly embarrassed. "It was fine, I guess. Got assigned a project for History, a group project." Mikey started to explain. "That's who was over earlier actually, my project partner. His names Zane and he's actually new to the school so Renet and I invited him to hang out with us." Mikey realized he was rambling on about Zane but his father didn't seem to show any negative reaction to him doing so. He did however notice Raph giving him a look but he couldn't pin what exactly it meant.
"Yeah, that's it really. New project, new friend." Mikey laughed awkwardly as he began picking at his plate again, hoping his father would move on to one of his other brothers.

"Well I am glad you are taking your project seriously, and that you have made a new friend as well." Splinter smiled at his son before moving on to the others.
Donatello explained how he and April spent the afternoon working on their project, the robot that he had shown Mikey the other day, and how they were making a lot of progress on it.
Raph didn't have much to say, he only talked about his small practice meeting after school and how he would be busy this week at practice for their upcoming game next weekend.
Then it was Leo's turn.

"Well, the student council is preparing to host some events for October," Leo began to explain. So that's what he was most likely doing with Usagi earlier. They were probably going over the budget to see what they could or couldn't do. "We have some ideas that we want to try and do and the entire council will be voting on it this week."

"What are your ideas?" Donnie asked Leo, curious as to what they had planned for the school.
"A few different things. There's a lot going on in October, we want to try and host an event for Halloween like maybe a dance," Leo began listing the ideas they were considering. "And since October is also lgbtq+ history month we want to work with the school to help makes thing more inclusive and informative for everyone but we haven't decided on what to do for that yet."

Mikey listened to Leo as he talked about what the student council was planning while also watching Raph to see if he would say anything or react, but he didn't. He just focused on eating his food almost as if he was ignoring Leo, which Mikey felt slightly grateful for as that was better than Raph starting something.

"Sounds like you will have a lot on your plate Leonardo." Splinter acknowledged, his voice holding a hint of pride in it as he was also proud of Leo for going above and beyond and getting involved in more ways than just academically. Plus it would look good on college applications which Splinter wanted all of his sons to get into good colleges so they could do well as they got older.

After Leo talked about his day the rest of dinner was relatively quiet with little conversation here and there while they all finished their food.
Once everyone was done eating everyone helped to clear the table and put the dishes into the sink where tonight it was Donnie and Raph’s turn to do dishes and clean up.

Mikey headed up to his room and closed the door behind him, sighing as he walked over to his bed and flopped down onto it on his back.
He felt exhausted.
So much had happened today and at this moment Mikey wanted nothing more than to crawl under his covers and sleep.
"I guess I should get ready for bed then." Mikey said to himself as he stretched out his arms above him, looking at his bandaged hand and remembering what Donnie said earlier about changing the bandages to new ones.

Mikey forced himself up and walked over to his bathroom, switching on the light and walking over to the sink. He reached down and opened the cabinet door underneath the sink to grab the package of gauze wrap that Donnie had left for him along with the bottle of rubbing alcohol that Mikey was pretty sure Donnie had used before to help disinfect the wound.

He unwrapped the old bandages on his hand, discarding them in the trash bin to the side of the sink, and took a look at the cut on his hand that was only three days old.
It looked a little better than how it did initially on Saturday. You could see where the cut was just starting to heal itself but it still looked a bit pink with irritation, most likely from how much Mikey had been messing with it.

With his other hand Mikey grabbed his injured one and ran his thumb over the wound, feeling the uneven texture on his skin and the slight sting from prodding at the exposed layer of skin. Mikey thought back to earlier at dinner when Donnie told him to tell him if it looked abnormal.

It looked fine to him, no signs of an infection or it looking worse than it should, at least as far as Mikey could tell as he remembered when they were younger Donnie had gone over with them what some of the clear signs of an infected injury were and when to act.

'Donnie will be happy that it's healing fine.' Mikey thought to himself but frowned as he did so, remembering once more how he was upset earlier that the cut was no longer hurting as much as it did on Saturday, which should be a good thing if it's healing properly. But instead he felt upset over it, which should be concerning in itself.

Oh yeah, he hadn't really had the time to unpack all of that, to unpack those feelings and address what he was doing.

Mikey knew it was wrong to think that way, and he wasn't oblivious to what he was doing, to how he was coping with everything going on by hurting himself even if it was just exasperating the pain of the existing wound on his hand whose existence was a complete accident.

He knew what self-harm was, the school made sure to make everyone aware of what it was and the signs to look for as part of their mental health awareness initiative, after the incident last year where a student had committed suicide on campus no less. After that incident the school had gone into overdrive to make mental health a top priority and every semester they would dedicate a good chunk of time to going over mental health, depression, the warning signs, what to do, and so on, cause having a student killing themselves didn't look good for them, and having more followed would be even worse.

But after the past few days Mikey had begun questioning if hurting yourself, like this anyway, was actually bad. It wasn't like he was slicing his wrists or anything, just...taking advantage of a wound that already exists.

Mikey let go of his injured hand to instead grab the bottle of rubbing alcohol, opening it, and squeezing some of the liquid directly into the wound, pretty sure that this is what Donnie meant by keeping it clean. But he had forgotten that rubbing alcohol also really, really hurt when exposed to an open wound.
Mikey clenched his teeth and let out what sounded like a hiss at the stinging pain in his hand that lasted momentarily followed by throbbing.

And how could something be that bad, if it helped him to relieve himself of all of those negative thoughts he had been having, as well as helping him cope with how he had been feeling?

Once the throbbing in his hand had eased Mikey took more of the rubbing alcohol and put more on the injury, once again feeling that sharp sting of pain followed by throbbing. But this time instead of hissing at the pain, it was more of a weird, strangled sigh that escaped his lips instead, as he noted that this was the feeling he was looking for earlier.

Mikey had to force himself to close the bottle of rubbing alcohol and put it away, ignoring the urge to do it one more time and add to the excessive amount he already applied as one time should have been enough if his intentions were to only clean the wound.

He washed his hands with soap and warm water, dried them completely, and then began applying the clean gauze to it. In a few days he could probably go without the gauze once the wound started to scab over and wasn't at risk of an infection.

Mikey pulled the gauze around his hand slowly and tightly, trying to remember how Donnie did it so it wasn't loose or messy. Once the area was covered and a good amount was there he tore the gauze and grabbed the gauze tape from below the sink to keep it secure.
Mikey looked at his hand to examine his work. It wasn't too bad, definitely not as good as how Donnie does it but it was good enough.

He placed his hands on the edge of the sink and looked in the mirror. The bruise on his nose was starting to fade away, the only parts really noticeable was where the bruise had extended under his eyes that were taking a little longer to heal and made him look like he had bigger bags under his eyes than he already did.
He remembered a few classmates actually asking him if he was wearing makeup under his eyes and then getting weird and pitying looks from them when he said it was a bruise instead. But he'd rather have that than how it looked last week when it was worse.

Mikey pushed himself away from the sink and chose to continue getting ready for bed by brushing his teeth, washing his face, and changing into a comfortable outfit for bed before turning off the lights in his room and finally sinking into the comfort of his bed under the covers.
He laid on his side facing the wall, grabbed the charger for his phone and set an alarm for the morning before placing it on the small table to the side of his bed, not really feeling in the mood to scroll through it.

Mikey rolled onto his back and looked up at his ceiling where the glow in the dark stars he had lit up just barely against the surface they were on. The glow in the dark stars that had once belonged to Donnie.
'Maybe I should talk to Donnie about...this.' The thought of telling Donnie about what he was doing, about how he was feeling and how he was coping, crossed his mind.

'No, I don't need to worry Donnie with this. Besides, this is different, it's not like I'm slicing my wrists or trying to off myself. Plus once the wound heals that'll be it. This is just a one time thing.' Mikey closed his eyes and convinced himself that this wasn't an issue, that he wasn't doing anything wrong and he would stop as soon as the wound healed.

Because that's how it worked right? That's how he could make it work.

Mikey rolled onto his side once more and pulled the covers over himself, forcing his eyes to stay shut so he could fall into a comforting sleep.

---------------------------

Leo sat at his desk and continued to work on the assignments in front of him after he had taken a break to drive Mikey's friend home and eat dinner, although Donnie would argue with him that eating dinner wasn't a break but a necessity. Leo remembered the few times Donnie had scolded him for overworking himself and arguing that he needed to take more breaks.
But Leo didn't need breaks, he was fine. Besides he had too much to do between taking care of his brothers, school, and student council that he couldn't risk falling behind.

"Hey Leo?" A sudden voice broke Leo's concentration and he turned to see Raph standing at his doorway. Leo remembered everything Mikey told him in the car and he couldn't help the slight unease he felt at the thought that Raph might actually feel that way.
"Yeah?" Leo responded, trying to keep himself neutral as he had told Mikey he wouldn't say anything to Raph even though he wanted nothing more than to confront him about what he said.

"You got an extra notebook I can have? I ran out of space for mine for Math." Raph asked, still standing in the doorway. Leo got up and went to his shelf where other notebooks were stacked, looking to see if he had one that was empty.
"Here you can have this one." He pulled out a blue colored notebook that only had a few pages filled out but nothing important and Raph could just pull them out.

"Thanks bro, appreciate it." Raph took the notebook and turned around to head to his room. Leo looked at the entrance of his room before choosing to close his door, which was a bit unusual as he almost always kept it open, but this time he wasn't feeling it.
He sat back down at his desk and sighed, wondering what he should do and if keeping quiet really was the best answer here.

A sudden ping from his phone brought him from his thoughts. He checked his phone and saw a text from Usagi saying:
'Try not to worry too much about Raph, everything will be okay.'
Leo smiled at the reassurance. After Mikey had told him everything, he had texted Usagi about the situation when they got home, hence why it took him so long to get Raph and come down for dinner. Usagi always made him feel better...
Another text:

'Besides, any issues that may come from this we will face them together, I promise.'

Face them together, right. He knew Usagi would always be there to help him and vice versa, and he was grateful for that.

'Thank you, Usagi. It's late, you should get some sleep now, let's meet tomorrow at our usual spot?' Leo texted back, almost immediately getting a response.

'You have to stop being so formal over text Leo :D, and you better get some sleep too then and not be up late doing work.' Leo rolled his eyes but smiled at Usagi’s response.
'Alright I'll go to bed too. Talk to you tomorrow.' Leo gave in as he pushed his assignment to the side and got up to stretch and get ready for bed.

Leo had a simple routine for getting ready. He packed his bag for tomorrow, laid out his clothes he would wear to avoid wasting time going through his closet, brushed his teeth and washed his face, and then got changed into something more comfortable for bed before turning off the lights and getting under the covers and making sure his alarm was set for the morning.

He checked his phone one last time before bed, seeing another text from Usagi:

'Sleep well, love you' followed by a heart emoji.

Leo smiled as he responded with: 'Love you too' followed by a rabbit emoji and a heart emoji.'

He placed his phone down and got comfortable under his covers, and drifted off to sleep.

Chapter Text

Leo walked down the quiet halls of the school that currently held little to no students due to how early it was.
That was one of the perks of getting to school early, the quietness that Leo enjoyed much more than the crowded noise that was a constant throughout the day.
Even though his brothers hated how early he had them get up, every once and a while trying to convince him to drive them later cause they had more than enough time to get there, this was something for just him to enjoy.

Leo made his way to the auditorium that was the home of the drama club, who usually met there in the morning along with band students and various other students here and there.
Leo always found it interesting how everyone seemed to group themselves together based on their shared interests.
Drama and band kids met in the auditorium.
Jocks usually met in the cafeteria.
Art students in the art room.
And so on.

As Leo entered the auditorium no one really paid him any mind which made it easier for him to walk up the stairs that led to the stage and dip behind the curtains that exposed a long hallway with various rooms for the students to change in and store away props. He walked to the end of the hall and into the room on the left that was open with the light on.

"Hey Leon." Usagi smiled as he greeted Leo with a nickname he knew Leo wasn't a big fan of, but he never protested much when he used it.
"I told you not to call me that." Leo said back but his voice held no malice as his face turned a shade of red, exposing his embarrassment.
Usagi chuckled at Leo, who took in Usagi's appearance.

The other was sitting on top of the table that was against the wall instead of one of the chairs. He had messily put up his long white hair into a ponytail while wearing an oversized blue hoodie that had Japanese symbols adorning the sleeves along with a pair of black jeans that seemed just a bit too tight on him, not that Leo minded.

Usagi patted the table surface next to him as an indication for Leo to sit next to him which he did. Leo placed his bag onto the floor before pulling himself onto the table so he was next to Usagi, their legs brushing against each other.
Usagi reached his hand up to Leo's face to caress him slightly before leaning in to kiss him which Leo happily returned.

"Aw aren't you two so cute." A teasing voice came from the doorway.
Leo rolled his eyes as he pulled away from Usagi to see Karai at the doorway with a teasing grin on her face.

"Good morning Karai." Leo greeted as she walked in and pulled one of the chairs towards herself before sitting down.
"Seems like it's a good morning for you two alright." She laughed as Usagi playfully swatted at her.

Leo smiled and chuckled. A lot of people would find their friendship weird if they knew their history. Him, his boyfriend, and his ex-girlfriend, all friends together.

Watching Usagi and Kara playfully tease each other and converse made Leo think back to how he met Karai.
They had met when they were just kids when one day Karai had come up to him on the school playground and shoved him to the ground. This prompted the school to call both their parents only to find out that her father was Oroku Saki, his fathers rival. Although his father would never call him that out loud because 'such pettiness was not worth one's time', he would say in his own words.

From there he and Karai had a bit of their own rivalry. They would compete for grades, being the teachers "number one" student, even in school races, and much more. Until middle school when Leo realized that he actually enjoyed their rivalry and her presence in general. At the time he didn't know anything about his sexuality and mistook it as a crush, which led to him asking her out to the middle school dance where she surprisingly said yes.

His father wasn't too thrilled because of who her father was but he never discouraged him from being with her or did anything to make her feel unwelcomed. Her father on the other hand...well he didn't like Leo to put it plainly.

From there they had started dating and things were good, until they entered high-school and started getting more....serious.
That's when Leo began to realize that something was off.
He didn't mind kissing Karai, but hated making out with her.
He didn't mind cuddling or soft acts of intimacy like holding hands, but when Kara tried to get more intimate with him it just never turned him on and he couldn't get into it, which led to some fights between the two.

It wasn't until he had attended a tournament with his father and his class as an assistant instructor did he piece it together. The competing team also had an assistant instructor with them who was a little bit older than Leo but damn did he catch Leo's attention in a way Karai didn't. It was then he realized that he was into guys, really into guys.

It took him a bit of time to finally come to terms with the fact he was gay, and it was nerve racking as he had a million questions he couldn't ask anyone, but the worse part was that he knew he had to tell Karai.
He had decided to take her out for some lunch and rip the bandage off by just telling her that he was pretty sure he was gay.
She was, of course, upset and asked him a million questions in return. Asking him if he was sure, if maybe he was bi, if they could still make their relationship work, ect.

But he was certain, and telling her specifically all of the things he just wasn't into with her was terrible as he knew it made her upset but there was no way around it.

They broke up that day.

They had tried to stay friends at least, but they went a long period with just not talking to each other.
It wasn't until the student council elections began did they finally talk again, since they were running against each other.
It gave them the opportunity to catch up, and it felt like the old times with their rivalry when they were younger, trying to out best each other and when Leo lost to Karai she decided to ask him to be the VP which he accepted. They were finally on good terms again.

Then Usagi came into the picture.
They needed someone to take over as treasurer for the student council and Usagi stepped forward for it. Leo didn't know him at the time, but a lot of other people did and he seemed to be really well liked so he got the position.

Leo decided to get to know him more since they would be working together often and, well, one thing led to another. They ended up becoming friends, which led to Leo realizing he liked the guy. Like full on crushing on him that felt nothing like his 'crush' he had for Karai when they were younger.

Leo remembered feeling conflicted about his crush on Usagi, as he was unsure how to go about it. He didn't want to be out yet, and he didn't know if Usagi even liked guys too, or liked him the same way.
Luckily though it was Usagi who had made the first move which had caught Leo by surprise.
They had both stayed after together pretty late to work on some last minute plans for an upcoming dance student council was hosting when Usagi had casually 'joked' that they should go together.

That caused Leo to get really flustered and ask him if he was serious, which led to Usagi getting flustered thinking he said something wrong. It was an awkward moment and Leo still mentally kicks himself for how he had decided to confess his feelings right then and there in a moment of panic, and then feeling like he was going to pass out with relief when Usagi told him he felt the same way.
They both laugh at it now when they bring it up though.

They've been together ever since, albeit they weren't out publicly. The only ones who knew were Karai and Usagi's family who he was out to.
Leo wasn't out to his family and with Raph's comments it was going to be even longer until he finally does tell them...

"You okay Leo?" Leo was brought out of his reminiscing by Usagi who was looking at him concerned.
"Hm? Yeah I'm okay." Leo sighed tiredly which caused Usagi to frown.
"Is this about Raph and what he said?" Usagi asked.

"What did Raph say?" Karai interrupted, eyes narrowed slightly.
"Well..." Leo sighed as he briefly pinched the bridge of his nose, "Raph might be homophobic."

"That doesn't surprise me." Karai crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair. Both Usagi and Leo stared at her which caused her to roll her eyes.
"No offense Leo, but your brother is a jock on the football team, have you heard how the majority of those guys talk?" Karai pointed out.

Leo knew she wasn't wrong but it didn't help in making him feel any better.
"What exactly happened to make you think that?" Karai asked, trying to see if maybe Leo was misreading the situation after seeing how dejected he looked.

"Mikey got assigned a project and brought his project partner home with him yesterday." Leo began explaining.
"That kid who was sitting on the couch while you guys were working? I was wondering who he was." Karai stated as Leo nodded.
"Yeah him. Well yesterday when I was driving him home, on the way back Mikey told me that Raph pretty much told him to avoid being friends with guys like him, because he paints his nails and people like him get bullied."

"And by people like that he meant...gay people?" Karai raised an eyebrow. Leo nodded.
"Pretty much, I mean what else could he be talking about?" Leo leaned back against the wall looking upset. Usagi grabbed his hand in comfort.

Karai didn't speak for a moment, she looked like she was considering what she was going to say next.
"You should confront him about it." Karai suggested. Leo looked at her as if she just suggested he murder his own brother.
"Right because that will go so well? 'Hey Raph I don't appreciate your homophobic comments because guess what, I'm gay.'" Leo exaggerated. Karai rolled her eyes at him.

"Well you're never going to solve anything by not saying anything and you don't have to come out to do it." Karai started. "Plus, if your brother is being homophobic, and the rest of the football team is too, that becomes a student council issue due to the schools zero tolerance policy. So use that to your advantage when confronting him." Karai finished.

"It's not that easy." Leo pointed out, getting slightly annoyed at Karai for thinking confronting Raph would be such an easy task. "Besides I promised Mikey I wouldn't say anything to Raph."

"And what good is that going to do?" Karai shot back. "Look, I love your brother as much as you do, but staying quiet about something like this doesn't help anyone."

Leo leaned against the wall and closed his eyes, feeling frustrated and torn between what to do. On one hand he told Mikey he wouldn't say anything, but on the other Karai wasn't wrong.
"You don't have to do anything you aren't comfortable with." Usagi reassured as he squeezed his hand. Leo opened his eyes and gave him a slight smile right as the bell rang.

"Look, I'll take some time to think about what to do." Leo decided as he got off the table and grabbed his bag, Usagi doing the same.
"Fine, but also keep in mind that if Raph, or the football team, end up causing any issues and it becomes known that the student council was aware of your brother's potentially problematic behavior, it won't end well." Karai said harshly before grabbing her own bag and heading to her class.

"Hey it'll be okay." Usagi placed a hand on Leo's shoulder, feeling bad at the position his boyfriend was being put in. "Karai is just, trying to make sure nothing bad happens is all." Leo smiled softly, feeling grateful for Usagi's support.

"I know. It's just a lot to think about." Leo sighed as they lingered by the door.
"Well whatever you decide to do, you know I'm here if you need anything." Usagi reached up to give Leo a quick kiss on the cheek, who smiled, feeling slightly better.

"I know. Let's meet at our usual spot at lunch?" Leo asked.
"Of course." Usagi smiled, grabbing Leo's hand one more time to give a comforting squeeze before they both headed their separate ways to their own classes.
------

Mikey trudged down the school hallway, yawning as he did so. Once again, despite actually going to bed at a decent time, he felt exhausted and just downright awful. He had almost considered staying home again, but didn't want to deal with Raph if he decided he was 'faking' being sick again so he had pushed himself out of bed and forced himself to get ready for school.

As Mikey's locker came into view he was pleasantly surprised to see not only Renet there, but Zane as well.
"Hey Mikey!" Renet greeted loudly, waving at him. Mikey smiled slightly and gave a small wave in return.

"Hey Renet." Mikey greeted. "Hey Zane."
"So guess who is pretty much my locker neighbor." Renet said cheerily as she threw her arm around Zane's shoulders who gave an awkward grin.

"I mean, if you count me being a few lockers away from you your neighbor then sure." Zane said awkwardly. Mikey smiled as he opened his locker, happy that Renet was warming up to Zane so quickly and treating him like a friend.

"Oh I also took some time last night to do some research for our project. Despite Halloween originating in Europe I still found some interesting events we could write about." Zane said enthusiastically.
Mikey smiled as Zane explained what he had done so far, grabbing his books for his classes and putting them into his bag.
'Zane already got all of this work done and what have I done? Nothing. He's probably going to think I'm irresponsible like my brothers do...' Mikey closed the locker door, trying to keep his smile and not let his thoughts get to him.

"Oh what are you guys working on?" Renet asked curiously.
"History project." Mikey leaned against the lockers. "We haven't decided on what we'll do it on yet so we're both doing research into different topics to see what we like better." Mikey explained.

"So that's why you're looking into Halloween stuff?" Renet asked Zane who nodded. "And what are you looking into?" She asked Mikey.
"I'm supposed to be looking up events for lgbtq+ history month, which I haven't gotten to yet..." Mikey said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head slightly.
"You know you could always ask Jocelyn or I for some help on that." Renet grinned, placing her hand on her chest in a smug way. Mikey rolled his eyes.
"I'll keep that in mind, Renet." Mikey laughed as Renet playfully stuck her tongue out at him.

"I'll try to take some time during my free period today to do some research, I didn't get a chance last night." Mikey told Zane, hoping that he would be able to get a good amount of research done to make up for his lack of work from last night.
"Sure, but no rush, okay? We still have plenty of time, I just like to get ahead of things." Zane smiled.
"Okay." Mikey nodded, noticing Zane's smile cause he seemed to always be smiling and feeling his face get slightly warm.

The morning bell went off and with that the hallway became even louder as the rest of the students started walking to their own classes.
"See you at lunch guys!" Renet said before walking off towards her own class, Zane waving goodbye as he did the same and Mikey followed as well.

-----

Mikey's first two classes of the day had gone by as slow as usual, or perhaps they just seemed slow because of how tired he felt. He had managed to get most of his work done in class but barely took any notes or remembered what was discussed.
At least now he could have a sort of break during his free period.

Mikey had gone to the library and sat at one of the tables that was more in the back of the room. It was an area with about two or three tables mostly surrounded by bookshelves so no one could immediately see him.
In front of him was his school issued laptop that had a blank search page opened as he was still thinking of how to do research for his project.

'Do I just look up gay events or something like that?' Mikey wondered to himself as he typed exactly that and hit search. What he got back was a page full of actual real time events happening in New York, not actual history.
'Okay, how about just gay history then?' Mikey modified his search which yielded better results, as the first few links seemed to go into the history of the lgbtq+ community.

Mikey scrolled through the results, wondering which he should use as there seemed to be a lot of good options he could choose from.
As he scrolled down he came to the 'People also ask' section to see similar questions to his. The first few were questions like 'When did homosexuality begin' or 'What does lgbtq+ mean', and then it started getting more specific to people asking 'How many genders are there' or 'How do you know if you're gay'.

That last one caught Mikey's attention and out of curiosity he expanded it to read more about it.
'I don't think any of this applies to me.' Mikey thought to himself as he read the short description that came with the result, talking about what being gay was and how you can tell. It made him think back to what Raph said about Zane, making him wonder if maybe Zane was gay.

'No, I can't just assume stuff like that.' Mikey briefly felt bad for assuming and didn't want to play into any stereotypes like Raph did, but...
'Not that there would be anything wrong if Zane is gay, I mean Renet is and that's no issue.' Mikey was starting to let his thoughts wander now, and he was thinking about all of the things Raph had pointed out about Zane that led to his assumption.

He had hair dye, not that it looked bad on him.
He had piercings, which Mikey found pretty cool and thought they looked good on him.
He did have painted nails, which seemed to go perfectly with his whole vibe.

Mikey wondered if Zane was gay, would he tell them? Surely he should feel comfortable doing so knowing Renet is too and that Mikey was friends with her.
Mikey thought of a brief scenario of Zane just telling them one day at lunch he was, and all of them being supportive. Maybe Renet would make a joke saying she could always tell, and maybe she would try to set him up if he already didn't have a boyfriend...

Mikey shook his head, his face getting warm as he was thinking way, way too much into this.
'Okay, okay I should get back to doing actual research.' Mikey told himself. At least that's what he wanted to do before he was rudely interrupted.

"Well what do we have here?" A sudden voice came from behind Mikey, a voice he recognized. Mikey lowered his laptop screen but was stopped as another hand pushed it back up to see exactly what he was looking at.

Jack took a seat next to Mikey who felt his anxiety shoot through the roof, and it didn't help that another person who he didn't know but was wearing the same sports jacket as Jack sat on his other side.
Mikey looked around, there weren't a lot of people in his general area so that didn't make him feel any better.
"You're Raph's brother huh?" Jack stated more than asked, as Mikey really did not want to talk to him.
"Yeah, I am." Mikey responded hesitantly.

"Does he know he has a faggot for a brother?" Jack insulted so casually that it made Mikey's blood turn cold with anxiety.
"I'm not-" But Mikey was interrupted by Jack leaning closer to him, the other guy next to him smirking as he watched Jack do his thing.
"Then why are you looking up stuff like this?" He pointed to the screen that still had his search results opened.
"I...it's for a school project." Mikey stuttered slightly, wishing Jack would go away.
"Right. I'm sure it is." Jack smirked, obviously noticing how uncomfortable he was making Mikey.

"You know," Jack started, crossing his arms as he leaned back in his chair. "At first you were just some annoying underclassmen that pissed me off after you punched me, for no reason at all," Jack said that last part on purpose to get a reaction from Mikey who glared at him. "But then finding out you're Raph's brother, well that was just icing on the cake. You see I really, really don't like your brother but I can't do anything about that unless I want to get kicked off the team." Mikey didn't like where Jack was going with this.

"But what a better way to get back at him, than to mess with you?" Jack grinned as he watched the glare fall off of Mikey's face and turn into worry. "And I know you won't say anything because if you do, I will tell him and the rest of the school about your little secret here, not that people like you deserve privacy."

Mikey felt himself tense up, his anxiety getting worse now as he balled up his hands into fists under the table to try and calm himself down.
"How is messing with me going to get back at Raph, exactly?" Mikey asked, stuttering slightly.

"Hm, I guess you'll just have to wait and see how things play out for that answer." Jack laughed as he stood up, his friend doing the same.
"Oh and just to add some insurance," He leaned over so his face was right in front of Mikey's now. "If you say anything about this to the school, I will go after your friends. You know those pests that always seem to hang around your locker in the morning?" Mikey didn't say anything, he just stared at Jack who smirked, taking his silence as compliance.

"See you around, Mikey." Jack stood back up, and he and his friend walked away.
Once they were both out of eye sight Mikey closed his laptop and put it in his bag, losing any intention he had of doing his work. He sat there, anxiously fiddling his fingers together as he took in everything that just happened.

'I should have never spoken to him, let alone fucking punch him. Now look at the mess I caused.' Mikey berated himself, wishing he could go back in time to the first day Jack had given him his bruised nose and telling himself to just deal with it, to not do anything impulsive like he did.
Mikey dropped his head into his hands. He didn't want to be at school, he didn't want to go to lunch and see Jack there with Raph, he didn't want to spend the rest of the day walking down the halls afraid that he was going to be behind him or his friends, he didn't want his friends or his brothers to be asking him what was wrong cause he didn't feel like putting on appearances for them this time.

'Maybe I should ditch, go home.' Mikey considered, but then the school would call his father and that would get him in even more trouble.
'Maybe I could fake being sick, yeah that's it. Then they couldn't get mad at me if I was sent home.' Mikey decided that could be his best bet to get out of school, at least for today. So he grabbed his backpack and quickly made his way to the nurses office.

Once he got to the nurses office it was empty save for the same receptionist at the desk who had checked him in last time he was there.
He walked up to her as she looked up from her computer to see Mikey there.
"Um, is the nurse here? I'm not feeling too great." Mikey grabbed his stomach to make it more believable that he wasn't feeling well.
"Have a seat, she will be right with you." She said, her expression not changing as Mikey nodded and took a seat.

He couldn't keep himself still as he was still feeling the anxiety from earlier. He was still fiddling his fingers together and was now bouncing his leg anxiously as he looked around the room, looking at the posters that were hanging up and reading them, looking at the shelves and what was on them, the empty rooms that were dark and held only a few beds for people who really didn't feel well to lay down in.

"The nurse will see you now." The receptionist brought Mikey out of his thoughts as he looked over and saw the nurse standing at the entrance to her office. Mikey got up and walked in, the nurse closing the door behind them as he took a seat on the examination table.

"Okay, what seems to be the problem?" She asked Mikey as she took a seat in her own chair.
"Um, I'm not feeling good." Mikey started, "My...stomach doesn't feel good, I feel like I might throw up." He placed his hands over his stomach to make it seem more believable. The nurse raised an eyebrow at him and got up.

She placed the back of her hand to his forehead. "You don't feel like you're burning up." She took her hand away. "Did you eat anything that could have upset your stomach?" Mikey shook his head no, feeling doubt that she was going to believe him.

"Hmm." She placed her hands on her hips. "And you're not just trying to get out of class are you?" Mikey looked down, feeling guilty for lying and now getting caught. The nurse sighed.
"Why are you trying to get out of class? Did something happen?" She sat down and asked sympathetically.

"Um, no...nothing happened. I guess I just want to go home." Mikey mumbled.
"Are you sure? Because I still remember last week when you came in with a bruised nose." She questioned, looking at Mikey and noticing his hand. "What happened to your hand?"
Mikey looked down at his bandaged hand. "Oh um, just an accident that happened over the weekend. I do martial arts training over the weekends." Mikey explained.

"It looks like you're bleeding, I can give you some fresh bandages." Mikey looked down at his hand. Oh. The bandages over his cut was stained red. He didn't even notice he had been bleeding, maybe he had irritated it earlier.
"Let's unwrap that." The nurse placed the fresh bandages down onto the examination bench next to Mikey who put out his hand for her to unwrap it. "This looks very irritated." She commented. Mikey looked at the cut that was red and slightly puffy as it bled a little bit.
"Have you been cleaning it?" She asked as she took an alcohol wipe to clean the cut, causing it to sting slightly.
"Um yeah." Mikey said.
"What do you use?" She asked as she wiped the wound dry before wrapping it.
"Hydrogen peroxide?" Mikey answered.
“I would stick to using just soap and water, too much hydrogen peroxide can actually irritate cuts and slow down the healing process." She explained as she finished wrapping his hand. Mikey only nodded and said thanks.

"Well I can't send you home just because you want to. Just try to get through the rest of the day the best you can, okay?" She said sympathetically. Mikey got off of the examination table and grabbed his bag to head towards the door.
"And you know, I told you this before but this school is a safe place if anything is going on." Mikey only gave a small smile at her statement before exiting the nurses office, not saying anything else.

'Well that didn't work and I made the nurse more suspicious than before. Definitely can't go back there.' Mikey thought to himself as he stood out in the hallway. Lunch would be starting soon and he really didn't want to go.
'I guess I'll just have to find somewhere else to go for lunch then.' Mikey thought to himself as he started walking down the hallway. He could go to the art room, but that would make it easy for him to find if his friends really wanted to look for him. There weren't any other classrooms he could go hide out in, but maybe a classroom wasn't what he needed.

Mikey thought of the perfect place he could go that no one would really think to look for him.

Chapter Text

Lunch rolled around and the cafeteria filled up with noise as everyone made their way either to a table or the lunch line, chatting away with their friends.
Renet had managed to find Zane before she found Mikey so she dragged him to lunch, chatting him up the entire way. It had only been one day since Zane was introduced to Mikey's friends and he was not yet used to how open and social they were, especially Renet who was acting like they had been friends since forever, which Zane did not mind entirely truth be told.

They took their seats at an empty table off to the side with Renet and Zane sitting across from each other.
"Jocelyn is probably getting lunch, but I don't see Mikey and I haven't heard from him all day." Renet commented as she looked at her phone, sending Mikey a text asking him where he was but she was getting no response.
"Maybe he's just finishing up something and is running a little late?" Zane suggested as he pulled out his lunch.
"Maybe, but we did just have our free period so I can't imagine what he would be doing." Renet put down her phone and leaned the side of her head in her hand as she pouted, thinking about what could be taking Mikey.

"Hey guys." Jocelyn greeted as she took a seat next to Renet, placing her food tray down. She gave Renet a quick kiss on the cheek which seemed to brighten her mood a bit as she smiled.
"Where's Mikey?" She asked, noticing him missing from next to Zane.

"No idea." Renet sighed as she checked her phone once again to see if there were any texts from him. Nothing.
"Maybe he's busy then." Jocelyn suggested.
"Ugh but with what? I bet he's eating in the art room again." Renet grumbled, indicating her annoyance at Mikey for skipping lunch with them.
"We can go check if you want?" Zane offered as he took a bite out of his sandwich.
"I'll give him ten minutes, if he doesn't show up by then, then we'll go find him and drag him here." Renet decided as she took some of her girlfriend's food who just rolled her eyes and chuckled.

-----

Mikey walked down the hallway to an area where he knew no one would find him: The drama club.
Cause why else would he be there? He was an art student, sure, but drama, that was out of his territory and he never showed any interest in it. It was the perfect cover.

As Mikey walked into the auditorium there were some students in there eating lunch together, doing work, or just generally hanging out.
Mikey walked onto the stage and walked all the way to the back until he was at the wall and sat down, slightly hidden by the large props that were left on stage.

Mikey sighed and took out his lunch bag as well as his phone.
He saw multiple texts from Renet asking him where he was. He felt bad for not showing up at lunch but he really just wanted to be alone right now, and that also meant not responding to her either.
"Sorry Renet, I'll make it up to you." Mikey said to himself as he put his phone away and pulled out his food instead.

"Mikey?" A voice interrupted him, because why not? He obviously couldn't have any time alone it seemed.
Mikey looked up and was surprised and then annoyed to see who was standing in front of him.

"It's been a while since I've seen you." The person in front of him said.
"There's a good reason for that, Jason." Mikey retorted, annoyed as he began eating his food.

"I would prefer if you call me Mondo now." Mondo asked with crossed arms as he stared down at Mikey, obviously not getting the hint.
"Sure." Mikey really didn't care either way. "If you don't mind, I'd like to be alone." Mikey hoped he would go but he did the exact opposite of that.

"Aw what? You don't want to catch up after all this time." Mondo took a seat next to Mikey instead, who glared at him.
"Okay, okay." Mondo sighed. "Look I know what I did was an asshole move-"
"Oh you mean how you got me grounded for four weeks for bringing alcohol to my house and then blaming it on Renet and I?" Mikey spat at him.
"Yeah that." Mondo rubbed the back of his head in guilt. "Look, I'm sorry that happened. I was an asshole about that." Mondo apologized.
"But I've been meaning to reach out to you guys to say sorry I just...haven't gotten to it." He gave an awkward smile as Mikey rolled his eyes.

"I appreciate the apology but that doesn't mean we're friends again." Mikey sighed.
"Okay then how about I make it up to you!" Mondo suggested.
"How are you going to do that?" Mikey questioned as he took another bite of his food.

"Hmm." Mondo paused to think. "Well how about you tell me what's wrong, cause dude you look like you're about to cry no offense," Mikey frowned at him, "and I can help you with whatever you're dealing with!" Mondo grinned at his own suggestion.
"Yeah I really don't want to talk about it." Mikey mumbled.
"Aw c'mon dude, at least just tell me what happened. What do you have to lose?" Mondo pushed. Mikey thought about it for a second before sighing, giving in to his request.

"Okay fine. This guy, Jack, who's on the football team has been messing with me for the past week or so. Hence the healing bruise you see here," Mikey pointed to his face. "And you know who else is on the football team? My brother who he conveniently hates and has decided to take it out on me." Mikey explained. Mondo looked at him with wide eyes as he processed everything Mikey was telling him.
"Okay, so why don't you tell your dad or the school or your brothers?" Mondo suggested, immediately guessing Mikey already thought about that with the stare he was giving him.

"I can't. He-" Mikey hesitated. "If I do any of that, he'll one, start bullying Renet and our other friends and two, tell the whole school I'm gay which will cause more issues." Mikey sighed.
"You're gay?" Mondo asked, as if that was the one thing that stuck out to him from his explanation.
"That's the thing, I'm not, at least I don't think so but that's a whole different conversation." Mikey said embarrassingly, his face starting to feel warm. "I was doing research for a project, looking up stuff for lgbtq+ history month when Jack decided to come threaten me. Now he thinks I'm gay cause of that. And I am pretty sure Raph is homophobic and the last thing I need is him hating me." Mikey vented to Mondo who just sat there, unsure of what to say.

"Yeah that's a lot going on." Mondo stated.
"yeah." Mikey leaned against the wall. "So by all means, if you have any solutions for this mess, be my guest."

"Hmm, give me some time to think of something." Mondo leaned against the wall next to Mikey. "Sorry you're going through a shitty situation."
Mikey looked at Mondo and gave him a small smile in thanks.
"Also, what did you mean by you're not sure if you're gay or not?" Mondo brought up.
"Dude, is that the only thing you're focusing on from this?" Mikey's smile dropped and was replaced with exasperation and tiredness.

"No I just-" Mondo waved his hands in front of him to show he meant no offense. "I can at least try to help you with that cause…I'm bi myself and I know how tricky it is figuring out your sexuality." Mondo confessed. Mikey looked taken back for a second.
"Oh, I didn't know." Mikey said surprised.
"How could you have?" Mondo laughed. "It's not like we talk a lot and I don't exactly walk around school wearing my 'I'm Bi shirt', which I may or may not have." Mondo rubbed the back of his head and grinned
"But anyway, I know it's awkward but do you think you're not straight?" Mondo asked. Mikey looked to the ground as he thought about what Mondo asked him. He never really thought too much into his sexuality and it's not like he had any crushes to help him with that either. In fact he couldn't remember a time when he did have a crush on anyone in the school, like a serious one.

"I...don't know to be honest. I've never thought too much about it." Mikey said honestly.

"Okay well, do you think you could see yourself having a girlfriend?" Mondo asked.
Mikey nodded. "I can see myself having a girlfriend, I just haven't found anyone I like that way here. I mean there was this one girl in middle school I think I had a crush on but I think she moved away." Mikey explained.

"So you're into girls, which rules out being gay then." Mondo tapped his chin as he thought. "How about a boyfriend then? Do you see yourself dating a guy?"

"I'm not sure, I don't think I've ever had a crush on a guy before." Mikey thought of any times he may have found another guy attractive or if he had a crush on a guy.
'I mean, I guess guys are pretty attractive too.' Mikey thought to himself. He never really paid attention to the guys around school, but he would be lying if he said he didn't notice them. He never really had a crush on a guy, but how could he tell if he did without knowing?

Mikey thought briefly what it would be like to have a boyfriend and who he would go for.
'What kind of guy would I actually be into?' Mikey thought to himself, and immediately the first person to come to mind was Zane.

Mikey felt his face get hot with embarrassment at his own thoughts and he shook his head to try and rid that thought. Zane? Did he actually like Zane or did he just come to mind cause he's the only guy Mikey has been hanging out with?

"You okay Mikey? You kind of zoned out there." Mondo waved his hand in front of Mikey’s face, slightly concerned, bringing Mikey out of his thoughts.
"Oh um, yeah. I was just thinking. I guess I wouldn't mind having a boyfriend but, um. I don't know, this is just all confusing and I don't think I want to talk about it anymore." Mikey was getting frustrated now. He didn't know what his sexuality was. He didn't want to think of Zane that way and potentially ruin his friendship with him. He didn't want his family to know how he was thinking, how he was feeling and be shunned by them. To be shunned by Raph.

"Okay, I'm sorry I didn't mean to push." Mondo felt bad, he could see how distraught Mikey was becoming.
"No it's...fine. This is just a lot." Mikey mumbled as he began packing up his food, not feeling like eating anymore.

"Sometimes it is for some people." Mondo rested his arms on his legs as he leaned against the wall and looked over at Mikey.
"I guess it is." Mikey sighed. On Top of dealing with Jack, he now had to deal with figuring out his sexuality. He knew he'd have to address it eventually, cause he would be lying to himself if he said he hadn't been thinking about it recently he just...pushed it away.

"Well if you want to talk more about it, or anything in general," Mondo tapped his fingers against his legs. "you can always text or call."
"You know this doesn't make us friends again." Mikey looked at Mondo who frowned. "But...I'll keep that in mind." That got Mondo to smile slightly, seeming hopeful that this could be the start to rebuilding his friendship with Mikey.

--------

"Okay that's it, I'm going to go look for him." Renet said, frustrated. They had waited for Mikey to show or to even respond but he had done neither and if it's one thing Renet lacked, it was patience.
"Are you sure? Maybe we should just leave him be." Jocelyn suggested as she finished her food.
"Yes I am sure. This isn't like Mikey to just ditch lunch and not respond to me." Renet crossed her arms, looking upset. "You guys are free to stay here or join me in finding him."

Jocelyn and Zane looked at each other before looking at Renet and deciding that they would go help her find Mikey.
'If Renet is this worried about Mikey then maybe something happened.' Zane thought to himself as he packed up his stuff to go follow Renet.

The three of them exited the cafeteria to the barely populated hallways.
"I guess the first place to look would be the art room." Renet started walking in the direction of the art room with the others following her.

When they got to the art room they found it disappointingly empty as Mikey was not there.
"ugh where would he be if not here?" Renet was getting frustrated but also worried that they couldn't find Mikey.
"Maybe the library? He said he was going to try and do research for our project during the free period so maybe he went there?" Zane suggested, remembering what Mikey said earlier.
"We could also check the student council office? Maybe he's with one of his brothers."

"Okay, let's go check then." Renet was out of the door as soon as she spoke with Jocelyn and Zane rushing after her.
They checked the library, even in all of the 'hidden' spots that students liked to go that they knew of, but he wasn't there. At this point Renet was becoming more impatient, taking out her phone to text Mikey once again as she headed to their next location to check.

"Hey Leo, have you seen your brother?" Renet walked into the student council room, oblivious that she was interrupting lunch between Leo and Usagi.
"Uh hello Renet." Leo cleared his throat as he moved slightly away from Usagi who was sitting next to him, although Renet didn't seem to notice anything between them as she was too occupied with the situation at hand.

"Yeah hi, again have you seen your brother?" She put her hands on her hips. Zane and Jocelyn walked in behind her, seeming a little out of breath from trying to keep up with her.
"Mikey? No, I haven't seen him. Why? Did something happen?" Leo’s voice instantly became full of concern, wondering why all of them were looking for his younger brother.
Renet let out a frustrated sigh. "I don't know. We haven't seen him since this morning. He didn't show up to lunch and he won't respond to any of my texts."

"Well, I can try texting him and see if he responds to me." Leo offered as he took out his phone to text his younger brother. "I'm sure he's fine but I can let you guys know if I see him."
"Okay, thanks Leo." Renet sighed as she turned to face Zane and Jocelyn.

"Lunch is almost over, at this point we should just get ready for our next classes." Jocelyn put an arm around Renet in comfort as they walked out of the room and into the hallway.
"Yeah you're right." Renet smiled slightly as she leaned into her girlfriend.

Zane gave a small smile at the two as he walked beside them. He pulled out his own phone while they were walking, debating if he should send Mikey a text himself.
'If he hasn't responded to anyone else, he won't respond to me.' Zane lingered on the text screen.

"Thanks for trying to help me, Mondo." A familiar voice sounded down the hallway from behind them. Zane stopped walking and turned around to see Mikey coming out of the auditorium with a guy he didn't recognize.
Zane frowned, instantly feeling...jealousy? Did Mikey ditch them to hang out with some guy?

"You okay Zane-Oh hey there's Mikey." Jocelyn had noticed that Zane had stopped walking and when she went to turn around to get his attention she saw why he had stopped.
Renet instantly turned around, relief showing on her face that was instantly turned to anger.

"Renet-?" Zane asked as she pushed right past him and Jocelyn and over to Mikey.

"You have got to be kidding me." Renet crossed her arms and glared at both Mikey and Mondo.
"Renet?" Mikey was taken by surprise, looking like a deer caught in the headlights.
"Oh hey Renet, it's been a while." Mondo said awkwardly, but Renet ignored him completely.
"Do you know how worried we were about you? You didn't show up to lunch or answer any of our texts, and for what? To hang out with him?! After what he did?!" Renet spat at Mikey, raising her voice slightly.

"I-" Mikey didn't know what to say. He was trying to avoid his friends today, and now he was being confronted by them in one of the worst scenarios possible. "It's not what you think, he was just...helping me with some things." Mikey rubbed the back of his head awkwardly, feeling anxiety starting to swell up inside himself.

That seemed to be the wrong thing to say. Renet looked upset and sad at Mikey's response.
"What is he helping you with that you couldn't come to me for?" Mikey instantly felt guilty hearing the sadness in Renet's voice.
"I...it's just complicated Renet." Mikey’s voice was becoming evidently distraught.

"That's your answer? We've been friends since we were kids Mikey, and you go to Jason instead." Renet looked like she was about to start crying, tightening her hands on her arms. "That hurts."

"Renet please-" Mikey took a step towards his friend, his voice breaking slightly, but stopping as she stepped back away from him.
"No just, forget it Mikey. You know it's been obvious that somethings been up with you for the past week but you don't want to talk about it, you don't want to talk to me about it, so just forget it. Have fun with Jason, cause he sure as hell has been a 'good' friend." Renet turned around and walked away from Mikey, Jocelyn following after her to try and comfort her.

Zane watched as the two walked away, before turning to Mikey who just stood there, looking more distraught than he already was.
"You okay?" Zane gently asked as he walked over to Mikey who was just looking at the ground, his hands balled into fists.
"Yeah..no..I." Mikey stuttered, looking up at Zane.

"Hey it's okay." Zane hesitantly placed a hand on Mikey's shoulder as a way of comfort.
That small action made Mikey think about what he had talked about with Mondo, how Zane was the first person to come to mind when he thought about what it would be like to have a boyfriend.
Mikey pulled away from Zane, instantly feeling regret as the other flinched and he pulled his hand away, a look of hurt and confusion spreading across his face.
"I'm sorry." Mikey turned around and walked down the hallway away from Zane and Mondo.

Zane stood there confused and upset as he watched Mikey walk away.
"Sooo, awkward." Mondo broke the silence, grabbing his backpack straps while rocking back and forth on his heels.
Zane looked at Mondo, not knowing who he was, not caring who he was, and still feeling that jealousy from earlier. He didn't say anything, he just walked away down the hall in the direction Renet and Jocelyn had taken.

"Okay, hint taken." Mondo said to himself as he was left alone in the hallway.

-----

The rest of the day was pretty unbearable for Mikey. He had two classes left in the day, his last one being one he shared with Renet.
She had chosen to sit in a new spot away from Mikey who sat in his usual seat in the back. She didn't even talk to him, look at him.

Mikey didn't pay attention in any of his classes after their fight. He couldn't bring himself to pay attention, to take notes, to do his work. He just wanted to leave.
'How could so much go wrong today?' Mikey thought to himself. First with Jack threatening him, now he was fighting with his best friend.

'Maybe I should have just talked to Renet about all of this.' Mikey thought to himself. But he didn't want to burden his friends with his issues, or get them more involved than they unknowingly were.
'Besides it’s not like I was planning on going to Mondo, he just happened to show up.' But he couldn't explain that to them, not if he wanted to tell them everything and make things worse.

Everything just felt too complicated and all Mikey wanted was to deal with it in his own way. If he just kept quiet then that meant less trouble from Jack towards him, and less trouble for his friends.
'Maybe it would be better this way though. If Renet and the others aren't around me anymore then that would keep them out of my mess.' Mikey felt sad at the idea of his friends no longer in his life, but maybe it was for the best.

The bell rang, bringing Mikey back to reality. He wasn't even aware that class was almost over, he was too lost in his own thoughts.
Everyone around him began packing up, and Mikey started doing the same. He looked over to where Renet was. She was already packed and out of the door, not even bothering to look around her, to look at Mikey.

That sent a sharp twinge in his chest and a part of him felt like he was going to cry.
Mikey finished packing his stuff and headed out of the classroom and into the busy hallway, following the flow of students until he came to the exit that led to the student lot.

Mikey quickly made his way to Leo's car. He knew his older brother would take some time to get there but he didn't mind. He just wanted to be out of school and home as soon as possible.
Mikey leaned against the passenger side door, taking out his phone so he could text Leo to let him know he was there.
After he sent Leo his text he started looking through his other messages, specifically the ones Renet had sent him earlier in the day.

Mikey frowned, feeling guilty at not having answered her as he read each worried text. A part of him wished he had just responded with a simple text saying he was busy. He just wanted to be left alone, but damn he could have just sent one text.

'Maybe I should try to apologize.' Mikey thought about sending Renet a text as he hesitated on the screen. But maybe it would be better if he didn't say anything at all and just let her be.

"Are you ready to go Mikey?" Leo walked over to Mikey who jumped slightly as he didn't even notice Leo approaching.
Mikey nodded as Leo unlocked the car, getting into the drivers side while Mikey took the passenger side.
"Where's Donnie and Raph?" Mikey asked as Leo started up the car.
"Donnie said he's going to April's again and Raph has practice. He'll get a ride from Casey." Leo explained as he started up the car. Mikey only nodded and buckled himself in, leaning against the car door window as he watched Leo leave the school parking lot and make his way to the main road.

"So, how was your day?" Leo broke the silence. Mikey didn't look at him or move from his spot.
"It was alright."
"Your friends were looking for you." Leo commented.
"I know." Mikey murmured, looking out the window at the trees and houses they were passing.
"Is everything alright?" Leo pressed on. Mikey shrugged.
"Renet and I are fighting so...no." Leo briefly looked at Mikey, surprised to hear that his youngest brother was fighting with his best friend.
"That's...surprising. What are you guys fighting about?" Mikey was starting to get annoyed with Leo's questions. He just wanted to be left alone.

"I really don't want to talk about it Leo." Mikey said annoyed, but Leo still didn't get the hint.
"You might feel better if you do."
"Jeez what is with all the questions?! If I don't want to talk about it then leave it at that." Mikey raised his voice, looking at Leo now annoyed and feeling himself starting to get angry.

"Okay." Leo said softly, caught off guard by his brother's outburst. "I'm sorry Mikey, I'll drop it." Mikey crossed his arms and leaned against the car window again, feeling worse now. He felt annoyed with Leo that he couldn't let things be, but now he felt guilty for snapping at him.

``Great, one more person who’s upset because of me. I can't do anything right.' Everything was getting too much for him and he could feel his eyes starting to hurt from wanting to cry but he wasn't letting himself do that, not in front of Leo.

Mikey was so grateful to see their house come into view and as soon as Leo parked he wasted no time getting out, opening the door to their house and heading upstairs to his room, not bothering to wait for Leo who just looked after him with worry as he stormed off out of view.

Mikey closed his door behind him and placed his bag down in front of it. None of their doors had locks so this was the best he could do.
He made his way over to his bed and flopped down onto his back and stared at the ceiling.
It was that moment that he just let everything out at once. All of the events of the day, what happened, how he was feeling. It felt like a wave of emotions just crashing into him.

The tears he had been holding back all day were now falling freely and his body was being racked with choked sobs.
He placed his right arm over his eyes, the tears getting absorbed by his hoodie sleeve while a few escaped down his face leaving wet streaks in their place.

(*TW for self-harm)

'All I do is make everything worse.' Mikey thought to himself, squeezing his left hand shut and feeling the dull ache of pain.
In the past week he had managed to make Raph mad at him.

He squeezed his hand a little tighter, but the dull pain persisted.

He had made that asshole Jack mad at him who was now targeting him because he hates his brother.

He tried digging his fingernails into the palm of his hand but they weren't long enough to make a difference.

He had made Renet mad at him and he couldn't even explain everything to her. The others are probably mad at him too. Jocelyn, Zane...

This wasn't working. This wasn't making him feel better, it didn't hurt enough. He needed something more.

'Something more.' Mikey just wanted to stop feeling like this. He needed that pain to help him and right now it wasn't enough.

But he knew what could be enough.

He pulled his arm away from his face. His crying had died down with only a few tears sliding down his face and his sobbing had subsided. He sat up and looked down at his bandaged hand, biting his bottom lip as he thought about what he was about to do.

He knew this was wrong. He knew this was taking things a step too far.
The voices in the back of his head were trying to yell at him but they became dull like the pain in his hand as he ignored them and got up to head to the bathroom, closing the door and locking it behind him.

He stood there and looked around the room, feeling a mixture of anxiety and numbness. He found what he was looking for.
He reached over to the tub and picked up his shaving razor.
"I can always get another one." Mikey said to himself as he began taking it apart, knowing there were more reusable ones he could grab in case anyone, for some reason, noticed it was missing.

He took it apart and placed the pieces on the sink counter, placing the palm of his hands on the edge as he leaned forward and thought about what he was doing.
Using his hand as a way of relief was supposed to be a one time thing.
But why couldn't this be a one time thing too?

"Plenty of people do this." Mikey said to himself as he picked up the used razor blade, holding it carefully in his hand as to not cut his fingers which was ironic given what he was about to do.
"It can't be that bad if others do this to feel better." Mikey was trying to convince himself.

"It'll only be one time. Yeah, I just need to feel better now and then I won't do this again." Mikey took in a deep breath and sighed as he rolled up the sleeve on his left arm.
'Gotta make sure no one sees. They just...wouldn't understand if they found out. It's not like I'm doing anything wrong though.' Mikey thought to himself as he decided his upper forearm would be the best spot to do it, and the easiest to hide.

The voices in the back of his head were getting slightly louder as everything else was telling him to stop, that this wasn't the answer.

But he didn't care.

He ignored it as he pressed the razor blade down into his skin, biting his lip as new sharp pain shot through his arm and he sliced down, hissing out a breath of air and biting his lip harder. He pulled the blade away to immediately see a long red streak on his arm with small bubbles of blood appearing before getting too big and running down his arm.

He didn't care though. He closed his eyes and the voices in his head reminding him of how terrible today went, how much of an awful person he was, went away. It was quiet and he felt content in a way.
His arm stung, it hurt but in a way it was a good hurt.

'You deserve this anyway for all the trouble you've caused.' Mikey opened his eyes and without thinking dragged the razor down his arm again next to the fresh cut he just made, adding a second one. That got his thoughts to shut up.

He stared at his arm as the blood dripped off him and onto the counter top.
It wasn't until he looked up at the mirror at himself did he really process what he had just done.

Anxiety and guilt were now hitting him hard as he grabbed a good amount of toilet paper and pressed it against his arm to stop the bleeding, his arm stinging in more pain as he pressed against it but he didn't mind.

"Just one time. No one needs to know." Mikey said to himself as he used his other hand to push the razor pieces into the small trash can he had in the bathroom and grabbed some more toilet paper to clean up the blood that had gotten on the counter.

Once the bleeding had slowed down enough he washed his arm with soap and water, dried it, and pulled out two bandages from the cabinet to cover them.

Mikey looked around and determined that everything looked okay enough to not draw suspicion, but pushed the garbage bin a little farther out of sight until he could change it himself, just in case.
He turned off the light and exited the bathroom, making his way back over to his bed, this time choosing to get under the covers, not bothering to take off any of his clothes to get more comfortable.

Mikey laid on his back, and stared at the ceiling. His thoughts were quiet and he didn't necessarily feel better about the day, just numb enough to ignore it and not cry his eyes out like he had earlier.
He did feel the stinging soreness in his arm though. It was almost pleasant, and there was the aching urge to go back in the bathroom and continue what he had done.

He tried not to think about it too much, it would just cause more conflicting emotions. So for now, Mikey chose to just close his eyes and sleep, ignoring everything else around him.

Chapter Text

Leo stood in the kitchen looking around, thinking about what he could potentially make for dinner for himself and his siblings.
Shortly after he and Mikey got home their father had called him to let him know he would be staying late at the dojo and asked him if he could take care of dinner for the night.
Leo had of course said yes, although he was not big on cooking and currently had no idea what he could even make.

Usually when it came to cooking he would ask Mikey for some help since he was the only one of the four of them who could not only cook but actually make it edible. But given what had happened earlier on their way home, and the fact that Mikey had not come out of his room since, Leo had decided to leave him be.

Leo looked in the fridge and cupboards, trying to think of what he could make but he was having a hard time piecing ingredients together for a potential meal.
"I could make this?" Leo said to himself as he grabbed a box of instant mac and cheese from the cupboard, grimacing as he looked at the un-appetizing images on the box and decided to put it back.

"Maybe ordering take-out would be better instead." Leo decided, giving up on seeing what he could make on his own and sitting at the table. His father did say he could order take-out if need be, and he knew his brothers wouldn't pass up the opportunity to get some since they didn't get it too often.
Leo knew everyone would want to order some pizza since that was their go-to for take-out, but he would wait until everyone was home to place an order.

"Anyone home?" Leo looked up to see the door opening and Raph walking inside with Casey following behind him.
Leo tensed slightly at seeing his younger brother. After his talk with Usagi and Karai earlier today about what Mikey had told him about Raph and Karai pretty much telling him he had to do something about it to avoid any potential problems, he had thought more about what he would do pretty much all day and after talking more with Usagi at lunch he decided that he would confront Raph.

He just...wasn't sure how to go about it. He had promised Mikey he wouldn't say anything, and he didn't want to break his promise to his little brother, but like Karai had pointed out to him this was an issue that was bigger than Mikey's feelings and he couldn't risk having Raph or anyone on his team spreading this kind of hate.

"Hey Leo." Raph greeted as he walked over to the table, placing his backpack onto the floor with Casey following behind him and doing the same.
"Hey Raph, hey Casey." Leo cleared his throat as he greeted his brother and friend.
Raph walked into the kitchen to grab a drink from the fridge. "You want anything Casey?" Casey shook his head no, earning a 'suit yourself' from Raph as he grabbed a drink for himself.

"Hey Leo, is Donnie around?" Casey looked around as if to see if their usually purple cladded brother was anywhere.
"Why are you asking for Donnie?" Raph walked back over, raising an eyebrow at Casey questioningly as he took a sip. Casey shrugged.

"I just, um, need some help with some math homework, is all. He helped me last time so..." Casey gave an awkward answer, rubbing the back of his head.
"Well he's not here. He went to April's after school." Leo briefly gave Casey a look. 'Since when does Donnie help Casey with his work? I never see them together.' Leo thought to himself, noting this as something he would ask Donnie about later.

"He's been spending a lot of time with her recently." Raph commented.
"He did say they've been working on a project together, if you've been paying attention to what everyone's been up to." Leo pointed out, causing Raph to roll his eyes at him.

'Well not everyone's keeping tabs on our bros like you are Leo." Raph retorted, making Leo frown. "And seriously, you can't be that blind. Do you really think that's the only reason why they've been spending so much time together?" Raph alluded. Leo felt his face get slightly warm in disgust at what his brother was implying, not wanting to think of his brother in that type of situation.

"I don't know Raph, maybe you're reading too much into it." Casey piped up, leaning his arm on the table to rest his head, frowning at his friend.
"I'm going to agree with Casey on this one. We've all known April since we were kids and I know this is a foreign concept to you Raph but it is possible to be friends with someone and not have it go anywhere." Leo pressed, hoping to get Raph to understand this.

"Not with those two." Raph smirked. "And please Casey, you're just jealous. I see the way you look at April man." Raph laughed as Casey immediately went red in the face and muttered a 'shut up' at him.

"Alright alright, can we change the subject? I really don't want to talk about our brother's potential love life." Leo was starting to get annoyed.
Raph rolled his eyes at Leo. "Fine. Speaking of brothers, where's Mikey?"

Leo bit the inside of his cheek gently before sighing. "He's upstairs in his room. He had a rough day at school today so I am leaving him be."
"Did something happen?" Raph's demeanor suddenly changed to one of more concern and seriousness, wondering if something happened to his little brother and if he would need to 'talk' to anyone.

"I think so, but when I asked he wouldn't tell me everything." Leo sounded dejected and looked upset as he thought about the car ride earlier and Mikey snapping at him.
"All he said was that he and Renet got into a fight, but I think there's more to it since his friends came to me at lunch saying they couldn't find him."

Raph raised an eyebrow at Leo as he finished talking, looking like he himself was trying to think of why Mikey was in a bad mood.
"Maybe he's also having girl problems." Raph seemed to conclude, earning a confused look from Leo.

"What?" Leo questioned.
"C'mon Leo, I don't think there's ever been a time where Mikey and Renet have fought that we know of, and now after she comes out and gets a girlfriend they're having issues? Seems obvious to me." Raph gave Leo a look as he took a sip of his drink.

Leo was taken aback and almost tripped over his own words at Raph’s revelation of Renet. "Renet's gay? How do you know Raph?"
"Seriously Leo, how do you not know? You're part of the student council which practically runs the school and you don't know what's going on?" Raph scoffed, shaking his head in mock disappointment at him.

"Raphael." Leo seemed to gain more focus and was frowning now, his eyebrows scrunching up to portray just how impatient he was becoming with Raph. "If these are rumors going around I need to know, it's not-"

"Relax Leo." Raph cut him off, which didn't help to make Leo any less annoyed. "I heard some of the guys talking about her when we were getting ready for practice and I've seen it myself, she isn't exactly subtle with it around school." Raph explained.

"So you're letting your teammates just say stuff like this? Spreading rumors, whether true or not, about someone is harmful Raph. It's border-line bullying." Leo accused, his hands bunching up in anger now against the table. Raph was frowning at him, not liking being accused like this.

"It's just locker room talk Leo, everyone does it." Raph defended.
"They were being pretty nasty about it Raph, you didn't hear all of it." Casey piped up, shaking his head.

Leo was glaring daggers into Raph now, giving him that angry disappointed look that Raph hated, making him feel like a child being scolded by a parent.
"Raphael you can't let your team make comments like that. Do I need to remind you of the school's zero tolerance policy?" Leo was raising his voice now as if to get his point across to his stubborn brother.

"I'm not letting them do anything Leo, I didn't hear them be nasty about it. If I hear it again then I'll say something." Raph gritted out, his grip around his drink noticeably getting tighter.
"Or you can say something now so it doesn't happen again." At this point Leo wasn't suggesting, he was telling Raph to do it. And boy that was not sitting well with him.

"How about you do it Mr.VP. Since this is such an issue for you. Good luck trying to tell those guys what to do." Raph spat at Leo, becoming obviously angry.

Casey sat back in his seat, sighing. He knew where this was going. This was not Leo’s and Raph’s first fight and it would not be the last that was for sure.
"It's your team Raph, you're responsible for them and their behavior." Leo wasn't letting up, pausing for a second. "Or maybe you don't want to, cause you agree with their behavior."

Raph's eyes widened slightly at that accusation, his mouth scrunching up in anger and his grip on his drink loosening up in favor of forming a fist on the table now.
"The fuck did you say Leo? You really think I'm, what, homophobic or some shit?" Raph spat at his oldest brother, standing up now to look over him.

"You tell me Raph. You won't condemn your teammates for their comments and I know what you said to Mikey!" Leo was shouting now, standing up to match his brother's height.
Raph looked taken aback for a moment at that last part. This caused a wave of regret to wash over Leo, realizing he messed up by mentioning Mikey like this.
"Mikey told you I'm homophobic? The fuck?!" Raph pushed away from the table, looking pissed as he crossed his arms as he seemed to process that his youngest brother would say such a thing about him.

"Um guys, I think you should calm down-" Casey tried to intervene, glancing over at the hallway entrance that led to the stairs.
"Shut it Casey! This doesn't involve...you." Raph was mid yell at Casey when his attention was caught on the spot that Casey was looking at.

Mikey stood in the hallway entrance, looking distraught. How long had he been standing there? How much had he heard?
"Mikey?" Leo looked in Raph's direction, feeling his anger towards Raph being replaced by guilt and regret. He shouldn't have said anything at all.

Mikey had been in his room sleeping for who knows how long, he didn't keep track of the time, when he was awoken by yelling from downstairs. His anxiety and curiosity got the better of him and he decided to go check it out. He had taken to hiding in the hallway when he realized it was Raph and Leo fighting, feeling instant dread when he heard Leo mention his name.

Leo had promised him he wouldn't say anything to Raph.
He promised.

"The fuck Mikey?! So I can't say anything to you without you going behind my back and saying shit like that? To Leo of all people!?" Raph walked over to Mikey, shoving a finger at his chest. Mikey was at a loss of words, he felt frozen as his older brother yelled at him. This wasn't what he wanted.
"You know what, forget it." Raph spat out, shaking his head in anger and disappointment. "I was right, you're nothing but a Liar. I can't trust you." Raph pushed past Mikey and headed upstairs, leaving his younger brother standing alone, even more distraught than he was when he came down to hear what was happening.

"Mikey-" Leo moved forward to his younger brother after a few seconds of silence but was stopped when he put his hand up.
"You promised Leo." Mikey's voice was filled with hurt, the anger on his face looked awkward given his mixed emotions towards everything that just happened.

"I-I know Mikey but," Leo was fumbling over his words, trying to figure out the best way to explain to Mikey why he confronted Raph, why he told him what Mikey said. "I had to confront him, Mikey. I can't have Raph acting that way towards other students and encouraging his team to do the same. It's important that I-"

"More important than me? Your brother?" Mikey cut off Leo who swallowed harshly.
"I...that's not what I meant-" Leo was trying to explain. Of course Mikey was important to him, but other things were important too, he had to see that, right?
"Then you wouldn't have said anything!" Mikey yelled at Leo, his anger being mixed with small tears that he was obviously trying to hold back.

"Okay, I'm not explaining this right just let me-" Leo sighed, trying to get his thoughts together so he could just explain to Mikey but he was cut off again.
"No Leo, I don't care. You promised me and you lied." That stung at Leo, being called a liar.

Leo opened his mouth to say more but Mikey turned around and ran upstairs to his own room, leaving Leo alone with Casey who was awkwardly watching everything go down.

"That was rough." Casey commented, not sure exactly what to say. Leo just looked at him with a defeated look, already thinking to himself how he was going to fix this one, if he even could.

"Sorry you had to see all of that Casey." Leo apologized as he walked back over to the table to take a seat and drop his head into his hands.
"It's okay man, I'm kind of used to Raph's anger at this point." Casey chuckled before clearing his throat. "But I think you may be thinking too much into Raph, you know?"
Leo looked at him confused. "What do you mean?"

"Just, talk to him once you guys are calm yeah? He's a good captain to the team but sometimes the others are hard to control and they're going to say stuff that isn't...pleasant." Casey tried to explain the best he could.
"That still doesn't excuse Raph letting it slide." Leo retorted.
"It's more complicated than that man." Casey said gently. Leo looked down at the table, wondering if he went about this all wrong, if he had Raph all wrong. He wouldn't get those answers right now though.

"Alright, I'll try to talk to him later if he'll let me." Leo gave in. "I'm gonna order some pizza soon, you're free to stick around and have some when it gets here." Leo offered.
"Sure dude, I could use some food after today." Casey smiled before standing up. "In the meantime I'm gonna check on Raph."

Leo nodded as he watched his friend walk into the hallway and up the stairs, leaving him alone.
--

Mikey ran into his room and closed the door behind him. He pressed his back against the wood and slid down to the floor, pulling his knees up to his chest to bury his head in them.
The tears that were threatening to escape while downstairs were finally doing so, sliding down his face as sobs tore through him.

How could today get worse than it already was? First his ordeal with Jack, then getting into a fight with Renet, and now Raph was mad at him, again.

And Leo.

He trusted his older brother, he promised he wouldn't say anything and he did it anyway. Why?

'You know why, he said it himself. He doesn't think you're important.' The voice in his head reminded him.
Mikey placed his hands over his head, pressing slightly down as his crying got harder. He didn't want to believe it, but his own brother said it.

'Why are you surprised? All you do is cause trouble and lie. Even Raph agrees.' The voice continued on, not getting any quieter, not stopping.
Mikey got up, his legs a bit shaky as his crying was not letting up.

'You're not important.' He walked over to his bathroom and closed and locked the door behind him.
'You're just a liar, not trustworthy.' Mikey walked over to the counter, placing his hands on the cool surface as the sobs still racked through him, not wanting to look up in the mirror and see the mess he was.

'You're a terrible person. You deserve all of this to happen.'

"Maybe I am a bad person." Mikey whispered to himself. His tears had slowed down, sniffling as he spoke to himself. Why else would all of these bad things be happening to him?

(TW* Self-harm)

As Mikey was grappling with his thoughts the dull ache of the fresh cuts on his left arm was becoming more noticeable to him. He had been ignoring it in favor of focusing on the situation that had unfolded downstairs, but the way his arm was aching, the feeling of the fresh bandaged cuts against his clothes, it was almost...alluring.
He rolled up his sleeve to see the bandages and pulled them off, wincing slightly as they tugged at his skin, exposing the fresh red cuts across his arm.

He ran his fingers across the now uneven skin, biting his bottom lip gently as the urge to do more was getting to him.
"It was only a one time thing." Mikey muttered to himself.
He felt conflicted.
The urge to do what he had done earlier was nagging at him, but he knew he shouldn't.

He was eyeing the trash bin where he had buried the razor blades.
"Just a one time thing." Mikey repeated, his nails scratching slightly against the counter.

'But one more time wouldn't hurt.' His thoughts were trying to convince him otherwise.
'Just one more time. Last time it made you feel better.' Mikey hesitated before reaching down into the trash bin to fish out the blades he had hidden away earlier, any thoughts of not doing this were going out the window. He placed the blades down on the counter and stared at them, feeling unsure of himself.

That small voice in the back of his head was desperately yelling at him to not do it, that one time was enough, too much even.
But his thoughts were overpowering it in comparison, convincing him to do it again, reminding him of everything that had happened.

Reminding him of how Jack threatened him.
Reminding him of how Renet got mad at him because he just couldn't talk to her about his problems.
Reminding him of how Raph hated him now.
Reminding him of how Leo didn't think he was important enough to keep his promise.

Reminding him just how terrible of a person he must be for all of this to happen.

'Just do it. Besides, you deserve it.' That last part was drawn out in his head. Mikey picked up the razor blade and held it over his arm next to the other wounds he had left earlier, his hands shaking slightly.

'You deserve it for making Raph mad at you, AGAIN.'
'You deserve it for not being a good enough friend. They can do better than you.'
'You deserve it for not being a good enough brother.'

Mikey didn't even realize he had begun crying again as his thoughts attacked him, reminding him, telling him just how much he deserved all of this to happen to him.

It was like he was on autopilot when he looked down and saw the mess he had made out of his arm. More cuts now littered his skin, overpowering the two small ones he had done earlier.

Blood was running down the side of his arm, staining the sink and the counter.

It took him a minute to realize what he had done, again. He felt panic swell in his chest, and he was hit with the sharp pain that was now radiating down his arm.
He did too much.
His entire forearm was littered in cuts now. This was going to be much harder to hide.

'They can't find out.' Was the last thought in his mind before he was brought back to reality. The panic was spreading through his body now and his arms started to shake as he grabbed the hand towel hanging up to press against his arms, staining the fabric he will now have to throw away without anyone noticing.

He messily wiped down the counter and let the sink run, the blood smearing until he was able to see the counter surface underneath.

After his mess was cleaned up he took a step back while pressing the towel against his arm to stop the bleeding.

He looked at himself in the mirror. He looked like a mess. His hair was disheveled, face red and eyes puffy from crying, his mouth slightly agape like a fish gasping for breath as the panic was taking him, his hoodie a mess as he had rolled it up to cut into his arm.

But despite the panic going through him, there was almost a sense of relief in the back of his head. His thoughts had stopped for now, and it was almost satisfying in a sadistic way to look at his arm and see what he had done when he lifted the towel to see.

It was a weird mixture of emotions for him, almost too much.

Mikey took the towel away and placed it on the counter, deciding to deal with it later.
He was quiet as he took off his hoodie, then his shirt, pants and every other article of clothing he had on, throwing all of it into the corner and starting up the shower.

He didn't even wait for the water to get hot before stepping inside, the cold water sending a wave of surprise through him before calming down as it turned to hot.

Mikey closed his eyes as the hot water rained down on him, just enjoying how it felt. His cuts stung under the water but it didn't bother him. He just stood there, letting the water wash over him in an attempt to make his panic go away.

—-

"Thanks for the ride home April!" Donnie waved goodbye to April as she pulled out of his driveway and onto the main road.

They had spent the majority of the afternoon after school working on their shared project and relaxing together. It was fun.

Donnie had a smile on his face as he opened the door and took off his shoes.
He closed the door behind him and walked inside, seeing Leo sitting at the table doing what looked to be homework and three boxes of pizzas on the end of the table.

"Hey Leo." Donnie greeted his brother as he placed his bag down. Leo looked up at Donnie and gave him a weak smile and a quiet hello.

"What's with the pizzas?" Donnie asked as he began opening the boxes to see what kind they were.
"Takeout night. Dad's going to be late so he asked me to take care of dinner." Leo explained, placing his pencil onto the table to pause in his work.

Donnie nodded in acknowledgement.
"Where's Raph and Mikey?" Donnie walked into the kitchen to grab some plates, finding it odd that his other brothers were not downstairs especially when there was hot pizza waiting for them.

Leo looked a little wary and sighed tiredly. "They're in their rooms. We…kind of got into a fight." Donnie raised an eyebrow at Leo, only feeling slightly surprised. It wasn't uncommon for his brothers to get into fights with each other.

"What about?" Donnie pressed on. Leo looked tired, and he didn't feel like rehashing everything that had happened
"I'd rather not talk about it right now." Donnie nodded, noticing how tired Leo looked and he wouldn't press on.

"Do you mind telling Raph and Mikey that food is here? But not at the same time. They don't want to see each other as much as they don't want to see me." Leo sighed as he got up and grabbed his work, ready to head to his room. The only reason he stayed downstairs so long was to wait for Donnie and the food to arrive.

"Sure Leo." Donnie responded. "Are you going to have a slice?" He asked, noticing that all of the pizzas were untouched.
"I'll have some later, don't worry." Leo waved at Donnie as he made his trudge up the stairs.

Donnie sighed and placed down the plates once Leo was out of view. It was one thing when two brothers were fighting but to have all three fighting with each other at the same time? That was going to be harder to handle.

"Well I might as well get Raph and Mikey, starting with Raph." Donnie made his way over to the stairs. It would be easier to deal with his hot headed brother first and get him out of the way.

Raph's door was closed as usual so Donnie gave a light knock before opening the door. Raph was sitting at his desk while Casey was sitting on a beanbag chair Raph had in the corner of his room. His brother looked upset and Casey noticeably perked up when Donnie entered the room.

"Pizzas down stairs Raph." Donnie stood at the door entrance with his arms crossed.
"I'll get some later." Raph waved off Donnie without even turning to look at him.
"C'mon Raph pizza will probably make you feel better." Casey spoke up but Raph didn't budge, being as stubborn as always.

Donnie sighed. "Care to tell me what's going on between you, Leo, and Mikey?"
"Ask them yourself." Raph snapped.

Donnie rolled his eyes. He wasn't going to get anything out of Raph that was for sure.
"Casey, do you want any pizza?" Donnie turned to the raven haired teen who nodded and stood up.

"I'll bring you back some Raph." Casey lightly pushed at Raph’s shoulder who glared at him as he walked past him.

Donnie and Casey walked downstairs together to where the pizza was still sitting on the table. Donnie went to grab two plates to give to him.
"So can you tell me what's going on with those three?" Donnie figured he would have more luck with Casey than Raph or Leo at the moment.

Casey picked up a slice of pepperoni for himself and a cheese for Raph, sighing as he began explaining the events that happened earlier.
"Well, to sum it up, Leo and Raph got into a fight. Leo accused Raph of being homophobic because of something Mikey said to him. So they started fighting then Mikey came downstairs and Raph got pissed at him and stormed off. Then Mikey started yelling at Leo before storming off too." Casey finished, taking a bite of his pizza slice.

Donnie nodded as he listened to Casey explain the events of earlier to him, taking a second to process everything.
“Okay…that’s a bit more complicated than I thought.”

Casey gave a small hum in response as he continued to eat his pizza.
“Well, the best thing to do right now is to give them all some time to cool down before trying to talk it through.” Donnie sighed, mentally preparing himself for when he will have to play the role of mediator for his brothers as he had done many times in the past when they fought.

“So, Leo said you were at April’s today.” Casey cleared his throat and broke the silence that had settled for a few minutes between them, changing the subject.
“Yeah, we were working on our project and just…hanging out.” Donnie grabbed his own slice of pizza, throwing Casey a glance and wondering why he had changed the topic to him and April all of a sudden.

“Cool, cool.” Casey nodded and tapped the table nervously which Donnie took note of. “So uh, are you two like…a thing?”

Donnie almost choked on his pizza at the sudden question, his face getting a bit warm in embarrassment. “W-what? April and I? No we’re not….no we’re just friends.” Donnie laughed awkwardly. “Why do you ask?”

“uh…Raph brought it up earlier. He thinks you guys are a thing. I was just…curious if that was true or not.” Casey rubbed the back of his head as he explained himself, avoiding eye contact.
“Oh, well, Raph does have a bad habit at assuming these kinds of things.” Donnie gave a small awkward smile. “But um, yeah we’re not a thing so nothing for you to worry about.”

“What?” Casey scrunched up his eyebrows in confusion. “What do you mean that I have nothing to worry about?”
“Well it’s pretty obvious you have a thing for April.” Donnie said in a knowing voice.

“I do not!” Casey’s face turned a shade of red. “I...no…I don’t like her...I.” Casey stuttered, losing his words to the point where he was too frustrated and embarrassed and grabbed both of his plates and turned to head back upstairs.

Donnie chuckled to himself as he watched Casey falter so badly and retreat back upstairs. He figured he would talk more to Casey later but for now he would leave him be.

As soon as he finished his slice of pizza Donnie headed back upstairs to go get Mikey.
“Mikey?” Donnie knocked on his brother's door. His door was closed, something Donnie had taken note of as it was unusual for Mikey to have his door closed so often.

He didn’t get a response. Donnie wondered if his brother was asleep as he opened the door as quiet as he could. Mikey’s bed was messy but he wasn’t there.

Donnie looked around his younger brother's room and noticed the light coming from the bathroom and the sound of the shower going.

“Mikey, there’s some pizza downstairs. Leo got some for dinner.” Donnie called out through the bathroom door. He waited a minute for a response but got nothing. All he could hear was the shower.

“Mikey?” Donnie knocked on the door this time but he still got no response. He tried the doorknob and found it to be unlocked.
“Mikey are you okay?” Donnie turned the knob and opened the door slightly, waiting for a response.

Chapter Text

Mikey didn't know how long he had been standing in the shower. He was leaning against the wall and letting the now hot water shower down onto him, the slight burn of it feeling pleasant against his skin and his head was thoughtless. It was relaxing.

"Mikey?" A sudden voice brought Mikey out of his relaxed state. He opened his eyes and wondered if he actually heard someone or if he just imagined it.
"Mikey, are you okay in there?"

Oh that was Donnie. So he wasn't imagining things.
Wait, Donnie?
It was like he was slapped in the face with reality as he realized his brother was looking for him and was coming in the bathroom.
"Y-yeah I'm good Don!" Mikey called out, voice a bit shaky as panic was washing over him.

'If he comes in here he'll find out.' Mikey reached for the shower knob to turn off the water.
"But uh I'm kind of naked in here bro!" He called out, hoping that would deter him from coming inside.

Donnie had the door opened slightly as he was ready to come inside after not hearing his brother respond, but stopped as soon as he heard him.
"Alright. Are you okay though? I called for you a few times and you didn't answer." Donnie asked with concern evident in his voice.

"Sorry Don, I didn't hear you. I was uh, too busy thinking about this new justice force comic that recently came out, man you wouldn't believe how it ended!" Mikey fumbled as he reached out of the shower to grab a towel to dry and cover himself.

"Uh huh." Donnie responded, slight amusement in his voice as it was just like Mikey to be distracted by such a thing.
"Anyway, like I was trying to say Leo ordered some pizza for dinner, I wanted to let you know it's downstairs for when you're hungry." At this point Donnie had closed the door to give his brother his privacy back, which Mikey was grateful for as he had completely forgotten he had left the bloodied hand towel on the sink that Donnie would have seen if he had come inside.

"Oh awesome, I'll grab a slice after I get dressed!" Mikey called back to Donnie, grabbing the hand towel on the counter and shoving it into the garbage can and pushing it out of immediate eye sight.
"Okay, just make sure you do." Donnie said with care, wanting to make sure his brothers ate as it seemed like a challenge to get the three of them to do so at the moment given their fight earlier.

"I will Dee, don't worry!" Mikey forced a cheerful tone, hoping to get Donnie to leave as he realized he didn't have any clean clothes to put on and he certainly wasn't going to go out there and risk Donnie seeing his arm.
He heard Donnie give a pleased hum before walking away from the door. Mikey walked over to the bathroom door to wait and listen for his brother's footsteps to fade and the closing of his bedroom door.

Once he was sure Donnie was gone he opened the bathroom door to peer into his room and to his relief Donnie had left and closed the door. Mikey quickly made his way to his closet. Luckily the door to it opened in a way that blocked the entrance to his room in case anyone else tried to come in.
He grabbed a random t-shirt from his closet and one of his hoodies to put on, making note that he didn't have as many long sleeved shirts as he thought he did.

Mikey finished getting dressed and tossed his towel back into the bathroom, not caring that it landed on the floor. He sighed and ran his fingers through his wet hair and sat on his bed.

"I really fucked up huh?" Mikey muttered to himself as he gently placed his hand over his now covered arm that was decorated in cuts from earlier. A part of him was starting to regret his actions, but only a part of him.
He doesn't regret how it made him feel, how it helped to get rid of his thoughts that were plaguing him and sent a wave of relief in its place.
It hurts, and Mikey knows he is more at risk of his family and friends finding out, but at this point he didn't think he could stop if the urge hit him again.
Or if he even wanted to stop at all.

A sudden growl from his stomach brought his attention away from what he had done in the bathroom and he placed both hands on his stomach as the growling continued.
"Donnie did say there was pizza." Mikey muttered to himself. He hadn't eaten since lunch today and even then it wasn't a lot.

He got up off his bed and stood in front of his mirror briefly, extending his arms and moving around to make sure the sleeves wouldn't roll up in a way that would show any of his cuts. After confirming that he was good, Mikey walked over to his door and opened it slightly. He looked down the hallway towards the stairs and saw both Leo's and Raph's doors shut. His room was the third one from the stairs, with Donnie's being fourth and their fathers being the last at the end of the hallway.

He quietly opened his door to sneak out into the hallway, making sure to not make any noise so his brothers wouldn’t hear him. He didn't think they would say anything else to him today but he didn't want to risk it.

Quietly walking down the stairs, Mikey felt relief when he noticed no one else was down there. He made his way over to the kitchen where the pizza boxes were left sitting on the table.
"Gross, pineapple." Mikey fake gagged as he opened the first box to see a pizza with pineapple toppings. There were a few slices missing which meant Donnie must have had some since only him and his father liked Pineapple on their pizzas.

Mikey moved the box off of the stack and smiled when he opened the second one to reveal a cheese pizza with extra cheese, one of his favorites.
Mikey grabbed a slice and headed into the kitchen to grab a plate to warm up the pizza.
As he placed the plate in the microwave he heard the front door open.
Anxiety started to creep through him as Mikey slowly went around the corner towards the door to see who it was, feeling a bit of relief when he saw that it was not one of his brothers but instead their father.

"Hello Michelangelo." Splinter greeted his youngest son as he made his way towards the kitchen and noticed Mikey was there. "What are you doing up so late?"
"I'm just heating up some pizza Leo got for us." Mikey explained as he walked back into the kitchen to wait for his pizza to be done, pulling at the sleeve on his injured arm to make sure it wasn't rolling up. It was one thing for his brothers to find out, but his father? He would be done for.

"Hmm." Splinter hummed as he spotted the pizza's on the table. "Where are your brothers?"
"Oh uh in their rooms I think." Mikey answered as the timer on the microwave went off. He pressed the button to open the door to grab his plate and picked up the slice to take a bite, pulling back a bit at how hot the cheese was.

His father walked into the kitchen to grab his own plate to place a slice of the pineapple pizza on top and took a seat at the table. Mikey stayed in the kitchen leaning against the counter as he ate his own slice, feeling awkward at the silence that filled the room between the two of them.
Mikey finished his slice and placed his plate in the sink, he wasn't feeling up to getting another one.

He took the silence as his opportunity to go back up to his room but was promptly stopped in his tracks by his father.
"How are you doing Michelangelo?" Splinter asked from where he sat at the table, looking up at Mikey who was stopped at the entrance of the hallway leading up to the stairs, his back towards him. He noticed the hesitation in his son as he turned around to look at him.

"I'm doing fine dad, why do you ask?" Mikey cleared his throat and forced a smile, feeling anxious at being stopped and questioned by his father when all he wanted was to go back upstairs to the comfort of his own room.
"Hmm everything going okay at school?" Splinter asked further. Mikey realized he wasn't getting out of this anytime soon so he chose to walk back over to the table to take a seat across from his father, placing his hands under the table and tapping nervously against his knees.

It wasn't like him and his father didn't talk, it just wasn't very often, at least not as often as he talked with Leo or Raph even. When they did talk it was usually at Dinner or during training, or about school or his father scolding him for staying up too late on his phone or something of that nature.
They never really had a heart to heart conversation or even a casual one.

"School is fine." Mikey answered. "It's...been sort of busy you know with the project I am working on and everything else."
"How is your project going? You had mentioned you made a new friend while working on it." Splinter remembered what Mikey had said a few dinners ago. Of course he would remember he is their father after all and he did try to remember and keep up with what his sons were doing.

"Oh Zane, yeah he's been great to work with on the project we're really making a lot of progress. I was thinking of inviting him over again this week to work on it some more if that's okay?" Mikey asked. He wasn't initially thinking of making plans with Zane again this week for the project but if it kept his father believing things were okay then so be it.

'That is if Zane isn't mad at me like Renet is. But I guess I wouldn't blame him if he was, I deserve it...' Mikey thought to himself, gripping his knees and forcing his smile to stay.

"Yes, that would be fine." Splinter nodded, having finished his slice of pizza and going for another. Mikey found it amusing how his usually poised and stoic father had a weak spot for pizza just like the rest of them did.

"How are your other friends doing? It has been a while since you've had them over." Splinter continued.
"Oh they're...fine. You know school and life is busy so we haven't been able to hang out as much." It wasn't like that was a complete lie. They all have been busy with life and school, and now fighting with each other. But Mikey realized that it had been a while since he invited Renet over, or even made plans with her or anyone else for that matter. Even with his own brothers, it had been a while since he did something with them other than going to school or staying in his room.

When did that happen? Has it really been that long without him being social outside of school that even his own father noticed?

"Well I am glad you are prioritizing your school work," Splinter got up and grabbed his plate, heading into the kitchen to rinse it and put it away in the dishwasher.
"Your education is very important, but so is taking breaks and spending time with your friends, and family."

Mikey was starting to feel bad at his fathers words, guilty even. Guilty that he was lying about why he wasn't seeing his friends, guilty that he still wasn't meeting the expectations of his father, that he still couldn't do anything right.

"Okay." Mikey nodded. "Um, it's getting late, I'm going to head to bed." Mikey excused himself as he got up and pushed his chair into the table.
"Michelangelo," His father stopped him once more just as Mikey reached the entrance of the hallway to the stairs.
"Yes father?" He turned to look at his father who almost looked…concerned?

"You know, if you need anything you can come to me." Splinter's words made Mikey stiffen slightly. Was he catching on to him that he wasn't...okay?
"I know that dad." Mikey forced a smile before turning back around and quickly making his way up the stairs and towards his room, missing how the look on his fathers face turned from concern to sadness.
He may not spend nearly as much time with his sons as he would like, but Splinter knew them well enough to notice when something was off with one of them.

-----

"Hello?" A quiet, sleepy voice sounded over the phone.
"Sorry, did I wake you?" Leo asked quietly as he laid in his bed, looking up at the ceiling with his phone next to him on his pillow so he could hear Usagi but it wasn't loud enough to catch anyone else's attention if they walked by his room.

"It's fine, what's up?" Usagi sounded more awake now.
"I," Leo hesitated. "I messed up Usagi."
"What happened? Did you end up confronting Raph?" Usagi asked, concern in his voice.
"Yeah." Leo nodded, even though Usagi couldn't see him over the phone. "I went about it wrong, and Mikey got caught up in it all too."

"Oh Leon." Usagi sounded sympathetic as he used his nickname. He knew his boyfriend was worried about getting his younger brother roped into this more than he was.
"And now Raph is mad at Mikey and they're both mad at me...I don't know how to make things right." Leo confessed. He wanted to make things right between the three of them again, hell he wished he could go back in time and kept his mouth shut.

"Well, there's not much you can do." Usagi said, making Leo frown. He knew he was right but he hated that that was the answer regardless.
"I know." Leo sighed.

"It'll be okay." Usagi tried to reassure him. "Just wait until everyone calms down, then try talking to them again."
"That's all I can do." Leo mumbled, staring at his ceiling as he replayed the events from earlier in his head. He was the oldest, he was supposed to be the one to keep everything together, to keep everyone together, to resolve conflicts like this not cause them.

"How about you come over after school tomorrow?" Usagi suggested.
"Tomorrow?" Leo felt his face get warm. They spent most of their time together at school, in secret, so it was rare they would spend time outside of it. He rarely had Usagi over in fear of being caught, and while Usagi's family knew they were together and he had been over before it still did not happen often.

"Yeah, my parents are working late soooo we'll have some alone time together." Even though they couldn't see each other Leo could practically hear the smile in his voice.
"A-alone time huh?" Leo grinned awkwardly to himself, his face hot and his heart rate increasing a bit as he thought about what they could do together with no interruptions from anyone.
"Mmhmm." Usagi smirked to himself. "I can help you relax, you definitely need to."

"That sounds nice." Leo said quietly over the phone, grinning now and for the moment forgetting about his fight with his siblings.
"Good, then I'll take you home after school." Usagi stated.
"It’s a date then." Leo grinned, glanced at the time on his phone and noticed that it was getting late. "It's getting late, I'm going to head to bed. Thanks for talking with me, Usagi."
"Of course my love." Leo felt butterflies in his stomach at the affection. "I'll see you tomorrow, sleep well. I love you."
"I love you too Usagi." Leo responded back before hanging up, grinning to himself as he pulled his covers up over himself and placed his phone to the side, looking forward to tomorrow.

----

"Ugh the nerve of Leo!" Raph yelled as he took an aggressive bite of his pizza. Casey just sat on the beanbag eating his own slice as he listened to Raph vent.
"And Mikey too, I mean I can't say anything without him tattling on me to Leo! What are we five?!" He continued with his mouth full, causing Casey to grimace.

"Honestly dude, I think you guys are overreacting." Casey almost regretted saying as Raph glared daggers into him.
"Overreacting?! The only ones overreacting are those two!" Raph exclaimed.

"And you really think YOU'RE not overreacting too?" Casey was really trying to get Raph to see that his current outburst was unnecessary.

Raph bit his bottom lip and his face looked all scrunched up as it looked like for a moment he was considering what Casey was saying before responding with a firm "no".

Casey rolled his eyes as he placed his now empty plate onto the floor.
"Okay obviously you said something to Mikey that he took the wrong way," Raph was about to interject but was stopped by Casey who continued, "And Leo has a point dude."

Raph's face was red in anger but Casey had known him long enough that he needed to tell it to him straight regardless of how mad it would make him.

"It's more complicated than Leo thinks." Raph huffed and crossed his arms, leaning back in his chair.

"I know, I told him that. But he does have a point. Some of the guys there…they say some pretty nasty stuff and treat people like shit. I'm pretty sure I saw some of them bullying the underclassmen too." Casey explained.

Raph huffed. He knew Casey was right, not that he would tell him that.
"Look if I see something or hear something then I'll say something. That's all I can really do right now. I can't mess up the team dynamic, not now when we're trying to make the championships."

Casey shook his head, Raph still wasn't getting it. He sighed and stood up from his seat. "Alright man, do whatever you think is best. But somethings gonna happen sooner or later and everyone's going to be looking at you." Casey picked up his backpack and left Raph's room, making his way downstairs and to his car so he could head home, leaving Raph by himself to think about what Casey said.

— — —

*bzzt bzzt bzzt*

Mikey groaned and opened his eyes, rolling onto his back and pulling the covers up and over himself. He reached one hand out of the covers to blindly hit his phone until he hit the snooze button.

He felt awful. Not only was his arm sore but he just didn't sleep well at all. He wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep and not deal with the world right now.

But he knew he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t fake being sick again to get out of school, nor did he want to deal with Raph complaining if he did. Plus if he stayed in bed too long Leo would barge in and pester him until he got up.

Mikey groaned again and rolled onto his side. He didn’t want to think about Leo, or Raph, or about what happened not even twenty four hours ago.
He hated fighting with his brothers, it made him feel physically ill.

But with Raph, he was used to fighting with him whether it be over something small or something big like this. But Leo? They never really fought. Sure they would annoy each other and have small spats here and there like brothers do, but a real fight like this? He didn’t like being mad at his older brother.

‘I should have never said anything.’ Mikey thought to himself.
‘I wouldn’t be in this mess if I just kept quiet.’ Mikey pulled down the covers slightly and opened his eyes, staring up at his ceiling. Light was creeping in through the closed blinds just enough that he could make out the details of his room.

His body felt heavy and he felt numb. He didn’t want to keep fighting with his brothers, he didn’t want to keep being the reason why they were fighting.
‘This can’t happen again.’ Mikey decided at that moment that he can’t tell Leo about his problems anymore, he can’t tell any of them. He couldn’t risk something like this happening again.

Mikey sat up in his bed, sighing as he ran his fingers through his messy hair. He reluctantly pulled the rest of his blanket off of himself and stood up to get ready for school.

Mikey started with his normal routine of going into the bathroom to wash up before heading over to his closet to get changed for the day. As he was taking off his current shirt he wore to bed, Mikey looked down at his arm, seeing the red and irritated cuts that littered it from what he did last night, running his hand over the now uneven skin.

He felt a wave of shame and guilt hit him at what he did.
“I won’t do it again.” Mikey muttered to himself, but it felt more forced than anything to say that. Despite feeling ashamed of what he did, he didn’t forget how it made him feel last night when he did it, when he made each cut onto his arm that was followed by relief and satisfaction.

Mikey shook his head and returned his focus to getting ready for the day. He looked through the clothes he had until he found a long sleeve shirt that he couldn’t remember the last time he wore, noting how it felt a bit tight on him but it did its job at covering his arm. And just to be safe he made sure to grab one of his bigger hoodies too. Luckily it was cold this time of year so no one would question how many layers he was putting on.

Once he was satisfied with his outfit for the day and checked once more that his arm was covered, Mikey grabbed his backpack and hesitantly opened his door to make his way downstairs, trying to mentally prepare himself for facing Leo and Raph.

He peeked his head around his door frame to check the hallway. Raph’s door was closed but Leo’s was open, but Leo was always the first one up so he was most likely already downstairs.

Mikey quietly made his way down the hall and to the stairs. He hesitantly made his way to the kitchen, peering over and seeing Leo and Donnie sitting at the table. He felt more relieved that Raph was not there, but he still felt slightly on edge with Leo.

Mikey walked over, quickly looking away when he noticed Leo looking up at him, just barely missing the sad look his brother gave him.

He walked past him and Donnie and into the kitchen, not feeling particularly hungry but grabbing a banana to at least have something to eat.

He sat against the counter as he ate his small breakfast, unsure if he should join his brothers at the table or not.

Donnie glanced over into the kitchen and then back at Leo who was occupying himself in his phone but Donnie took note of how his older brother was tapping his foot against the ground, a trait he had noticed of him when he was anxious.

Donnie only sighed and went back to eating his own breakfast, wondering how long this fight between his siblings was going to last.

Heavy footsteps were heard coming down the stairs, catching everyone's attention, as Raph finally showed himself. He looked grumpier than usual, glaring at Leo and making his way to the kitchen where Mikey quickly moved out to avoid his second oldest brother.

“Donnie” Leo started, catching his brother's attention who had been occupied with observing his other two brothers.
“I’m going to give you the keys when we get to school so you can drive Raph and Mikey home.”

“Are you staying late?” Donnie questioned. It wasn’t often that Leo gave him the keys to drive everyone home after school. Usually when he did it was because he was sick or had something he needed to stay really late for.

“No, I'm…going over to Usagi’s after school. We need to work on some….student council stuff.” Leo explained to Donnie who only nodded in response. It wasn’t a complete lie, Leo was sure they would work on some things they needed for student council, at some point.

After they all finished their respective breakfasts and it was time to leave to get to school everyone climbed into the car for Leo to drive them.
The ride was just as awkward as breakfast. Everyone was silent and you could feel the tension in the car.

Mikey felt very uncomfortable being in the car, a feeling he hated because he didn’t want to feel uncomfortable around his brothers. He had his arms crossed and he was leaning against the door, looking out the window to watch the trees until the school came into view.
Once Leo parked Raph was out of the door without saying a word, wanting to get as far away from them as possible.
Leo handed Donnie the keys and gave a quick ‘have a good day’ to the both of them before heading off on his own as well, leaving Mikey with Donnie.

“You doing okay Mikey?” Donnie broke the silence as they walked together towards the school.
“I’m fine Dee.” Mikey tried to sound convincing but it was a bit hard to do so given his current mood.
“You sure? I know you’re caught in a fight with Leo and Raph but you just seem off.” Donnie pushed on, looking over at his younger brother who still wasn’t making any eye contact with him.

“I..” Mikey was hesitant.
‘Don’t tell him anything, you’re just going to make things worse like you did with Leo and Raph.’ “I...I’m okay Dee really.” Mikey forced a smile and glanced at his brother but Donnie still looked concerned.

“You know you can talk to me right?” Donnie stopped walking and moved in front of Mikey so he could get his full attention.

“I know that Dee.” Mikey stopped, looking at Donnie who was looking at him as if trying to find something wrong, anything for him to keep pushing but he didn't.

" just…promise me you'll come to me for anything, okay?" Donnie placed his hand on Mikey's shoulder and gave a small smile.

"Sure Dee, I will." Mikey smiled despite feeling a wave of guilt hit him. He felt bad for lying to Donnie cause he genuinely seemed like he cared, but so did Leo and look what happened.

Seeming satisfied with Mikey’s answer Donnie didn't say anything else and they continued walking together into the school until they both went their own ways, Donnie heading to where he usually met up with his friends and Mikey doing the same, well what he use to do given Renet was mad at him.

As Mikey walked down the hall towards his own locker he was surprised to see Zane there sitting by the lockers.
“Hey.” Mikey greeted as he stopped next to his locker. Zane looked up from his phone and smiled. “Hey Mikey.”

Mikey opened his locker and grabbed what he needed for his morning classes and put away what he didn’t. After closing his locker door he decided to take a seat on the ground next to Zane.

“I’m surprised to see you here.” Mikey commented, looking over at the other and taking note of his appearance. He was wearing a black pair of jeans with a dark blue jacket this time that stood out from his usual black attire. Mikey couldn’t help but think to himself how good he looked.

“Why?” Zane asked, looking at him in confusion.
“Well, you know, cause of everything that happened yesterday.” Mikey rubbed the back of his head, having fully thought that Zane would join Renet in avoiding him.

“To be honest I don’t really know what happened yesterday.” Zane leaned back against the locker. “After Renet got mad and stormed off and you left I tried to find them but I couldn’t.”

Mikey sighed but felt a small sense of relief that Zane at least didn't know why Renet was mad at him. It would make it easier for him to explain as well.

"It's…complicated." Mikey sighed. "We used to be friends with Jas-Mondo, until he thought it would be a great idea to bring alcohol over to my house and when my dad caught him he blamed it on us." Mikey explained, remembering all too well how angry his father was at him that day and the lecture he had gotten about underage drinking and being responsible.

"He sounds like a jerk." Zane responded, totally ignoring the jealousy he was feeling. The same jealousy he had felt yesterday.

"Yeah he is." Mikey sighed and closed his eyes briefly as he leaned against the lockers, already wishing the day was over. He felt exhausted already.

“So then, why were you hanging out with him yesterday?” Zane asked.
“I wasn’t technically hanging out with him, we just ran into each other and started talking and he was helping me with…some stuff.” Mikey stopped himself before he said too much, feeling his face get warm. He wasn’t about to tell Zane that Mondo was helping him to figure out his sexuality, or that he was thinking about Zane during it.

Zane only nodded, wanting to ask more and ask what specifically Mondo was helping him with but he stopped himself as it wasn’t his place to ask that.
Even though he wanted to, and even though it just made that feeling of jealousy worse.

Before either can say anymore the bell rang for first period and the hallway became loud with students scrambling to get to their classes.
“Oh hey are you going to be at lunch today?” Zane asked as they both got up from where they were sitting.
“Uh, I don’t think so. I don’t really think Renet wants to see me.” Mikey rubbed the back of his head, feeling a twinge of sadness that his best friend, if he could even still call her that, didn’t want anything to do with him.

“I’ll probably end up having lunch in the art room-”
“I’ll join you then!” Zane cut off Mikey, smiling as he did so.
“Are you sure? You don’t have to, I mean it’s fine if you want to hang out with Renet instead.” Mikey grabbed the straps of his backpack as they walked together down the hall.

“I’d rather hang out with you,” Zane responded back, Mikey’s face going a shade of red as he tried to ignore the voice in the back of his head that was telling him Zane was lying. “Besides that’ll also give us some time to work on our history project.”

“Sure,” Mikey stopped as he reached his first period class. “I guess I’ll see you at the art room for lunch then.”

“See you then!” Zane smiled and waved slightly as he continued to walk down the hall to his own class, leaving Mikey who was feeling a bit of excitement, the first positive emotion he had felt all day.

Chapter Text

So far the only highlight of Mikey’s day was seeing Zane in the morning. Sitting through his classes felt unbearable and he couldn’t focus even if he wanted to. It was just so boring and the weight of everything that had happened the other day was hitting him hard.

It also didn’t help that because of his fight with his brothers he had forgotten to do his assignments and had nothing to turn in.

It was just one more thing to add to his ever growing list of fuck ups.

As soon as the bell for lunch rang he quickly grabbed his stuff and booked it out of the room, ignoring whatever the teacher was trying to tell everyone as his classmates did the same.
Mikey quickly made his way through the crowded hallway and towards the art room, feeling a fluttering sensation of excitement in his chest that he was trying to convince himself was because he was seeing his friend.

Yes his friend, nothing more.

Mikey finally made it to the art room, walking through the door past the students who were leaving to head to lunch. Only a few people remained in the room and Zane wasn’t there yet so he picked a seat near the back in the corner.

He pulled out his phone to keep himself distracted while he waited, scrolling through his social media apps and frowning when he came across a post that Renet had made. It hadn't even been a day since their fight and he was wishing they could just go back to being friends again.

'Why would she want to be friends with you? She's probably better off without you in her life anyway.'

Mikey was trying to ignore his thoughts, trying like every time they told him something like this but it was getting harder and harder to do so.

Maybe it was getting harder because they were right.

"You okay?" Mikey jumped slightly as a voice sounded next to him. He looked over and saw Zane standing there with a smile on his face that had Mikey's cheeks feeling warm.
“Y-yeah I’m good!” Mikey smiled embarrassingly as he put his phone down. “I was just scrolling through insta to pass the time.”

“I wasn’t trying to snoop but I saw you had one of Renet’s posts pulled up.” Zane took a seat next to Mikey as he placed his stuff down onto the table.
“It just popped up.” Mikey placed his left arm onto the table so he could rest his head in the palm of his hand.

“I know it's been only a day but I wish we weren’t fighting.” Mikey admitted.

‘What are you doing? Don’t bother him with your issues!'

But there was just something about Zane that made Mikey feel more…comfortable with talking about this.

“Maybe you should talk to her then.” Zane suggested. “I’m sure she would understand if you just told her what you told me earlier.”
Mikey looked down slightly as he thought about what Zane was suggesting but shook his head. “Not now, I…I’ll give it more time before I try to talk to her.”

Zane looked like he wanted to say more, to try and push Mikey into talking to her sooner but he chose to just give him a sympathetic look and leave it as is.
“How about we talk about our project instead?” Zane changed the subject as he opened his backpack to pull out a binder.

“Right, the project.” Mikey felt bad because he didn’t have anything. The last time he tried to do any research for it was when Jack had threatened him in the library.
“So I’ve been doing some research and found a few topics on Halloween that we could do.” Zane had opened his binder that held some printed out sheets on a few different articles about the topics he had found.

“Oh wow.” He was so organized. Mikey had never been this organized or on top of any of his projects. It just made him feel a little more guilty for not having anything for their project when Zane had put in so much effort on his end.

“I, um, don’t have anything.” Mikey mumbled as he flipped through the sheets in the binder.
“Oh that’s ok-”
“Not that I didn’t do any, I just had…some things come up.” Mikey cut off Zane, his face hot in embarrassment as he felt himself getting flustered trying to explain himself.

“It’s really no big deal.” Zane said with a small smile. “We still have some time before the project is due so you can try to do some more research or we can just go with one of these options.” Zane referred to his binder.

“No, I can do some more research, I should have something at least.” Mikey said.
"Do you want to come over this week? We can work on the project together." Mikey offered.

"Well last time we didn't really get a lot of work done, but sure." Zane chuckled as he remembered the last time they tried to work at Mikey's house and how they ended up playing video games for the majority of the day.

"Cool then it's a study date." Mikey realized what he just said and immediately tried to back track. "Well no, not a d-date date I just meant like the figure of speech people say." Mikey laughed awkwardly, swearing his face was probably red like a light bulb at this point.

'Why did you say that??' He thought to himself. It just slipped out without him thinking.

"I get what you mean." Zane found it amusing how flustered Mikey had gotten, and during all of that Mikey had completely missed the small blush that came across his face.
"I'm free tomorrow after school if that works."

Mikey nodded, "y-yeah tomorrow works fine." Mikey cleared his throat, trying to collect himself. "Buuut you might have to stay for dinner this time."

"That's fine I can let my parents know." Zane agreed.
"Cool cool." Mikey tapped the table slightly, feeling butterflies in his stomach as he was looking forward to tomorrow.

They spent the rest of the lunch period just talking, laughing here and there when one of them said something funny, all while Mikey was thinking to himself how he might just have to text Mondo later because he might just like Zane more than he thought he did.

– – – – – – – – – – –

Donnie sat at the currently empty lunch table. He usually ate lunch with April but it seemed that she was running late.
He pulled out his lunch and began pulling out each item, deciding what he was going to eat first. As he chose the sandwich that had been packed for him he looked around the cafeteria.

He didn't see Leo or Mikey anywhere, although he did note Renet was sitting at a table with someone else who wasn’t Mikey, which was unusual since he usually saw Mikey with them.

He saw Raph at his usual spot with the rest of the football team, laughing at something as the group was the loudest in the cafeteria.
He also saw Casey sitting near his brother, who happened to glance over in his direction and gave him a small smile.

Donnie smiled back, briefly making a note to himself to invite Case to sit with Him and April next time at lunch. Besides there was something the two of them needed to talk to him about anyway.

“Hey Dee.” April greeted as she finally arrived at lunch, taking a seat across from her purple cladded friend.
“You took your time getting here.” Donnie teased as April rolled her eyes and pulled out her own lunch.

“I was finishing up an assignment for biology.” April explained as she began eating her food.
“How’s your day been?”

“It’s been okay. Aside from my brothers fighting with each other this morning, I've just been catching up on assignments.” Donnie explained.

“Catching up? It’s not like you to fall behind-”
“No, catching up on next week's assignments. I already finished this week's work so I figured I’d use this free time to catch up.” Donnie explained nonchalantly, earning a small chuckle from April.

“Okay that’s more like it. But you said your brothers are fighting?” April asked. Donnie nodded his head.
"Yeah. After you dropped me off yesterday Leo was by himself at the table. He wouldn't tell me what happened so Casey had to." Donnie explained.

"What was Casey doing there?" April asked.
"Hanging out with Raph." Donnie answered before continuing. "He told me that Leo and Raph got into a fight because Mikey said Raph was being homophobic and then Leo and Mikey got into a fight, so it's just all three of them fighting."

"That sounds…annoying." April responded as Donnie finished. "Do you really think Raph said something homophobic?" April asked with more concern about that than the three of them fighting, but it wasn't like it was unusual for them to fight here and there.

Donnie shrugged. "I believe Raph probably said something stupid, or picked up a bad joke from one of his team members." Donnie motioned towards the table he was at as April turned her head slightly to see Raph sitting with his football team. "But homophobic out of the box? I don't know. I can't get any of them to talk to me about this fight but I doubt Raph has it in him to be homophobic."

April only nodded. She has known the four of them her entire life and even though Raph played the big scary tough guy at school, he was actually very caring when he wanted to be. So it was a shock to her to hear that he may have said something so terrible.

"But I'm more worried about Mikey than Leo and Raph." Donnie admitted as his expression turned to concern.

"Is Mikey okay?" April asked with concern in her voice.
"He says he is but I don't believe him." Donnie thought back to earlier when he had asked Mikey if he was okay. "He's just been…off. He keeps getting into fights with Raph and he's been so quiet and staying in his room more often." Donnie listed off everything he was noticing.

"Are you sure he's not just going through his "angst teen phase"?" April gestured with air quotes on that last phrase.
"Maybe." Donnie tapped the table as he thought. "But it's just so unlike him. Usually Mikey is more cheery and bothering one of us until we agree to hang out with him. And his fights with Raph have never been this bad." Donnie scrunched up his face in thought.

"You might be overthinking it, Donnie." April smiled softly. "It sounds like Mikey is just going through the same things we all do as teenagers. I'm sure he'll be back to his old self soon enough." April tried to reassure but Donnie still felt doubtful. But what else could he do? Mikey won't talk to him but maybe April was right.

"I hope so." He sighed, because for now all he could do was wait and see.
—

Mikey sat at his desk in the back of the classroom, his elbow resting on the desk with his head in his hand, fidgeting with the pencil in his hand. The teacher was going on with their lesson for the day but Mikey would be lying if he said he was paying attention.

He was thinking about earlier with Zane and how that was the happiest he had felt in a while.

And he was also mentally blaming Mondo for bringing up his sexuality because now he was paying more attention to Zane and noticing all of those little details that made his stomach flutter and his face feel like it was lighting up like a Christmas tree.

He was starting to think that maybe he did have a crush on Zane after all.
But he still didn't have a label to describe how he felt.

He knew he wasn't gay because he still found girls attractive, but it didn't feel right to only limit his attraction to just guys and girls.
Mikey shook his head slightly, he was going to give himself a headache the more he tried to think about it.

'Maybe I should talk to Mondo later about it.' Mikey thought to himself as he glanced at his phone, contemplating whether he should keep talking to his ex friend, especially since it was his fault he and Renet were fighting.

Okay maybe it wasn't completely Mondo's fault.

As he was going back and forth with his thoughts his phone lit up and he felt his chest flutter as a message from Zane showed up.

"Hey! I'm all set to come over tomorrow! :D"

Mikey smiled to himself as he felt a surge of excitement that he hadn’t felt in a while now.

‘Is having him over a good idea though? What if Raph says something else?’ Of course his own thoughts were trying to kill his good mood. He didn’t want to think about Raph, he just wanted to have a good time with his friend.

As he was lost in his thoughts he barely registered the bell going off until everyone around him was scrambling to gather their things to finally head home. Mikey quickly followed his classmates and gathered his own belongings and spilled out into the hallway with everyone else.

He started going towards his locker, barely remembering if he had homework that he needed to do or not for an earlier class, so he could grab his text book just in case.
As he approached his locker he looked up and saw Renet and her girlfriend a little further down the hallway. Renet had briefly looked his way and they made eye contact for just a moment but that was enough for Mikey to feel his heart lurch into his stomach and he went to turn on his heel to go the other way but instead he was stopped as he bumped into someone behind him.

Mikey rubbed his head slightly and looked at who he ran into, his heart sinking further into his stomach as out of all the people he could have bumped into it had to be Jack.

The jock had a smirk on his face and he uncomfortably put an arm around Mikey's shoulders, forcing him to turn back towards his locker.

"Aw trouble in paradise?" He taunted as he noticed Renet down the hall who had briefly turned to look at Mikey and Jack and he could have sworn he saw a glint of concern in her eyes as they made eye contact but to Mikey's dismay she had chosen to close her locker and leave the other way with Jocelyn.

A part of him was hoping she would come over or do anything to get Jack to leave. But instead she left.

"That's rough." Jack noticed Renet leaving, shaking his head with mock sympathy for Mikey who was choosing to not even look at Jack.
“But I'm not surprised that even your own friends don't want to be with you." Jack leaned down so he could say that just loud enough for Mikey to hear as everyone else walked around them too focused on leaving.

Mikey didn't say anything. He felt embarrassed and like he was going to cry. He wanted Jack to leave him alone, he wanted him to go away and to stop telling him what he was already telling himself.

'Maybe she really does hate me.' Mikey thought to himself as Jack laughed at him before shoving him against his locker, and walking away.

Mikey stood there against the locker as he focused on the pain that was radiating through his shoulder at being harshly shoved, waiting until the hallway cleared up before he finally grounded himself back into reality and made his way to the exit that led to the school parking lot.

"There you are Mikey. Are you okay?" Donnie had been waiting by the car for him.
"Where's Leo and Raph?" Mikey ignored Donnie's question because no he wasn't okay but his brother didn't need to know that.

Donnie tilted his head slightly and raised an eyebrow in confusion. "You don't remember Leo saying he was going to Usagi's today after school?"
"Oh right." No, Mikey didn't remember because he wasn't paying attention to anything that morning.
"Raph told me he's staying after for practice and he'll get a ride with Casey later." Donnie explained as he got into the car with Mikey taking the passenger seat.

Mikey only nodded as he buckled himself in, feeling a slight sense of relief that at least both Raph and Leo wouldn’t be home for another few hours

“How was your day?” Donnie asked as they pulled out of the school parking lot.
“It was fine.” Mikey answered, leaning against the window of the passenger door.
“I didn’t see you at lunch.” Donnie was always straight to the point when he wanted to know something which was annoying at times.

“I ate in the art room.” Mikey answered shortly.
“How come? I saw your friends at the cafeteria during lunch.” Donnie pressed on, keeping his eyes on the road.

“I was working on my project with Zane.” Mikey explained, glancing over at his brother, wishing he would leave it at that and stop asking him questions.

“Oh he’s the new kid right? How is that going?” Donnie was not getting the hint that Mikey didn’t want to keep talking.

“It’s going fine,” Mikey sat up in his seat and was now fully looking over at his brother, “Why are you asking me so many questions Dee?”

Donnie was silent for a few moments, his face scrunching up slightly as he thought about what to say next.

“I’m just worried about you Mikey.”

“We already talked about this Donnie, I’m fine, really.” Mikey slouched back down in his seat, crossing his arms and turning back towards the window.
“I know Mikey, I know, it’s just you ….seem off is all." Donnie sighed. "And I know you said you're fine but it just doesn't feel like it."

Mikey slouched down in his seat further, frowning and staring ahead, placing his hands in his hoodie pocket and fidgeting with his fingers.
"There's just been a lot going on with school and…"

"Leo and Raph?" Donnie finished. Mikey nodded.
"You know how they are, it'll pass." Donnie tried to reassure but it didn’t do much to make Mikey feel better.

‘Raph and Leo are never going to get over this. They hate you. They’re probably sick of you causing so many problems for them.’ Mikey wished he could disappear right now.

"Also how's your hand?" Mikey was brought out of his thoughts, having half heard Donnie.

"What?”
“Your hand. It’s been a while since I’ve taken a look at it-”
“It’s fine.” Mikey cut him off, looking down at his hand that had been injured during their training session. His hand had gotten better, at least now he was using a bandage for it instead of wrapping his entire hand in gauze because of how big it was.

‘Yeah it's a lot better because I stopped messing with it and instead have been cutting my arms.’ Mikey thought to himself as he put his hands together in his lap, feeling a slight fluttering sensation at actually acknowledging what he was doing.

“Okay good. And it doesn’t hurt anymore?” Donnie continued asking. It wasn’t unusual for him to ask a million questions when one of them were sick or injured.
“No it feels fine.” Mikey half lied. Sure it still hurts here and there but he had a new pain to distract himself from it.

“Good I was worried that it would become infected and that would be a WHOLE other thing to deal with. Infections of that kind are not fun-” Donnie rambled on as Mikey looked down at his hand, tuning out his brother.

He squeezed his hand with his other, feeling the dull ache but nothing that would give him that satisfying feeling he felt when was slicing through his arms, the pain hurting at first and then turning into comfort and making his head quiet-

“You okay?” Mikey looked up. Oh the car had stopped and they were in the driveway of their house.

“Hm? Oh yeah sorry Dee, I’m just a bit tired from school.” Mikey yawned to emphasize his statement, grabbing his bag and getting out of the car.

“Do you want to see the robot April and I have been working on? I know I showed you it last time when it was still in the beginning stages but we have so much more now-” Donnie asked as he also got out of the car and headed towards the door to unlock it.

“Maybe later Dee I uh, have a lot of homework to do.” Mikey interrupted his brother again. As soon as he was inside he booked it to the stairs, wanting nothing more than to head up to his room.

“Oh if you have homework I can help you with it-” Donnie started again, really pushing anything that would get his younger brother to spend time with him because in his gut he knew something was wrong but Mikey just wouldn’t tell him.

“I’m good Dee! But if I need help I’ll come bother you! Mikey called back as he ran up the stairs and headed around the corner to the hallway that led to his room, leaving a defeated Donnie who just looked after him with worry.

— — — — — —
“You’re supposed to be relaxing.” Usagi murmured into the crook of Leo’s neck. Leo had gone over to Usagi’s after school, telling his brothers they were going to work on stuff for student council which hadn’t been a complete lie they just …weren't working on it at the moment.

As soon as they had gotten to Usagi’s place with his parents thankfully still at work, they had immediately gotten comfortable on his bed with the two laying on their sides with Usagi behind him with his arms wrapped around his stomach and his face resting against his neck.

“I am relaxing.” Leo replied back. He really was trying to relax but his body was too tense to convince Usagi.
“Then why does it feel like I’m hugging a plank of wood?” Usagi chuckled. Leo didn’t say anything but his face went red.

“Hey,” Usagi started, pulling his boyfriend closer to himself. “I know things are rough with your brothers right now but it’s only been one day, you can’t expect to fix everything so soon.” Usagi spoke calmly, having moved one of his arms so he was slowly rubbing circles into Leo’s back in an attempt to relax him.

Leo closed his eyes and sighed. “I know, I’m sorry. I know today was supposed to be just you and I and not thinking about all of that I just…I can’t help it.”

Leo turned himself around so he was facing Usagi now.
“I’m the oldest. I’m supposed to keep everyone together, to keep the peace.”

“No you’re not.” Usagi countered. “You may be the oldest but it’s not your job. You’re their brother, not their parent.”

Leo didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what to say to that.
He knew he wasn’t their parent but from a young age, even before their mother had died, he had felt some sort of responsibility for his siblings.

He felt like he was the one who had to keep everyone on track, to keep the peace, to make sure fights like this didn’t happen, to make sure he didn’t cause fights like this.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” Leo closed his eyes and pressed his face into Usagi’s chest as he tightened his arms around him.

“We don’t have to talk about it anymore.” Usagi murmured as he rested his chin on top of Leo’s head.
“I do think we should take a nap though.” Usagi suggested as he used his free hand to grab his blanket and pull it over them.

“Fine, but only for thirty minutes.” Leo sighed as he felt himself relax with the comfortable blanket on top of him.
“Sure.” Usagi smiled, having no intentions to wake up his high strung boyfriend that soon.

—-
Mikey opened his eyes and was met with the darkness of his room. He reached up to rub his eyes with his balled up fists, briefly seeing white specks as he did so.

He reached over to where his phone was next to his pillow and tapped the screen to look at the time. It was almost 10 o’clock meaning he had been asleep for a good few hours. Which also meant that he had slept through dinner.

Mikey wondered briefly if anyone tried to wake him for dinner, that small voice in the back of his head telling him that they probably didn’t want him at dinner anyway.

He wouldn’t be surprised if that was true, the past few dinners had been miserable because of him.

He was brought out of his thoughts by his phone buzzing, the screen lighting up and a text notification popping up.
Mikey grabbed his phone and felt his chest flutter as he saw that the text was from Zane.

‘I thought this was funny!’

The text read and attached was a link to a video of a cat that made Mikey chuckle as he played it. He wasn’t sure what to respond with so he just settled on reacting to the video with a laughing emoji for now.

Seeing the text from Zane reminded him of when they hung out earlier in school and oh yeah, when he came to the realization that he may have a small crush on him too.

Okay so he was coming to terms with the fact that he has a crush on Zane, a guy. So he liked guys, but calling himself gay didn't fit right either. Girls were still attractive to him too, yeah he wouldn't mind dating a girl either.
But then Mikey remembered that not everyone was a guy or girl, and he honestly wouldn’t care if that was the case.

But none of this helped him to figure out what his….deal was.

Mikey sat up and groaned. Thinking about all of this was making his head swim.

He glanced over at his phone that was lighting up with useless notifications from apps he barely used. He grabbed his phone and navigated to his texts, beginning to type in Mondo's number that yes he still had despite everything that had happened between them.

He hesitated before writing out his text:

'You awake?'

It wasn't even a minute before he got a response back:

'Yeah! What's up dude?'

Mikey began slowly typing up his response, trying to figure out how he should word it:

'So uh, I'll take you up on your offer, you know about figuring out my sexuality or whatever'

Why did he feel so nervous sending that?

Mondo responded with a smiling emoji and then a text with a link to some lgbtq+ site.

'So I think this will help you, it literally has every type of sexuality listed soooo go wild!'

Mikey clicked on the link and wow, there was so much more here than he thought.

He laid back down onto his bed with his phone being the only light source, scrolling through the website Mondo had sent him and looking at each of the flags and definitions that went with them, trying to figure out if there was one that fit him.

Chapter Text

“Mikey.”

Mikey shifted on his bed, the side of his face pressed against his pillow as he laid on his stomach and was comfortably wrapped in the warmth of his blanket.

“Mikey.”

The comfort of his bed was starting to go away. His face scrunched up in annoyance and he grabbed his pillow tighter, trying to ignore whatever it was that was bothering him.

“Mikey, c’mon you have to get up.”

Something had grabbed his shoulder and shook him, which was enough for Mikey to open his eyes only to be met with his older brother standing over him.

“Ugh what do you want Leo?” Mikey groaned as he rubbed his tired eyes, wishing for nothing more than to have his brother go away so he could go back to sleep.

“You gotta get up for school Mikey.” Leo grabbed the top of Mikey’s blanket and pulled it off of him, much to Mikey’s dismay as he was met with the coldness of his room.

“Do I have to?” Mikey whined as he sat up. He had been up pretty late going through the site that Mondo had sent him as well as looking up some stuff on his own. He had lost track of time and before he knew it, it was almost three in the morning which meant he was definitely not getting enough sleep for school.

“Yes Mikey, you do.” Leo crossed his arms but he didn’t look annoyed like Mikey was expecting him to be. Instead he had more of a sympathetic but calm look to himself.

“Fine, fine. I’ll get up I guess.” Mikey grumbled as he stood up and as he did so made a quick mental note to himself that he was lucky he had fallen asleep with his hoodie on and that for now on he would have to go to bed with something long sleeved in case Leo or anyone else tries to wake him up again.

Leo seemed satisfied with that and turned to leave his room when Mikey stopped him.
“Oh, Leo? Zane’s gonna come over today so we can work on our project. Dad already knows.” Mikey informed him as he walked over to the door of his bathroom, grabbing the knob but not going in just yet.

Leo only nodded and turned to continue leaving but stopped again at the door frame.
“Mikey?”
“Yeah?” Mikey was looking at Leo with slight confusion, feeling a small sense of anxiety creep in as even though they were talking *normally* right now it has still been a few days since the incident.

“I…I wanted to say I’m sorry.” Leo raised a hand to rest on the back of his head, giving Mikey a look that made him *feel* guilty. Guilty for making his brother upset, for starting this mess.

“You know about the other day, I didn’t mean to tell Raph it just slipped out-” Leo was beginning to ramble and the sound of desperation was starting to float in his voice and it only made Mikey feel worse.

“It’s fine Leo really.” Mikey quickly said, forcing a smile and cutting him off because he didn’t want to hear his older brother sound like that.

But It wasn’t fine at all. It wasn’t fine that Leo had promised not to say anything but did it anyway.
Mikey really wanted to stay mad at Leo, he really, really did but his anxiety and guilt was telling him he couldn’t be.

‘It’s your fault anyway. You don’t get to be mad when you’re the one causing issues.’

“No, Mikey it’s not-”
“It’s fine Leo.” Mikey said once more with a little more strain to his voice, trying to keep his smile from faltering. “It was my fault anyway so can we just drop it?”

Leo was taken aback. His fault? His baby brother was blaming himself for his mistake?
“Mikey it's not your fault-”
“Please, Leo?” Mikey was still smiling but something was just, missing from him. Leo couldn’t tell what exactly it was. Whether it was the look in his eyes or his voice or how that smile didn’t seem right on his face.

“Okay.” Leo gave in. He wanted to keep pushing but he figured he wouldn’t get anywhere. Mikey didn’t say anything else and just went inside of his bathroom and shut the door, leaving a conflicted Leo who took a few seconds before leaving and heading downstairs.

– –
(TW* for self harm and depressive thoughts)

Mikey leaned over the bathroom sink with his elbows resting on the smooth surface, his eyes closed shut as he rested his head in his hands and let out a groan.

He hated this.
He hated that he couldn't be upset at Leo without feeling guilty.
He hated that he was making his brothers upset and causing them to fight with each other.
He hated that he was causing all of these problems.

Mikey squeezed his eyes shut as he was starting to feel overwhelmed by his thoughts.
He wanted it to stop.
Just one day without feeling like this is all he wanted.

He opened his eyes and walked over to his shower, pulling back the curtain to look for his shaving razor but it wasn't there.

Right, he had used it last time.
He turned from his shower and leaned down to pull out the garbage from under the sink that he hadn't thrown away yet.
He moved aside the blood stained hand towel to find the razor he had used.

Mikey grimaced as he looked at the razor.
It was coated in dried blood and the blades looked like they were starting to rust a bit, and the last thing he needed was for one of his cuts to get infected and have everyone find out.

He dropped the razor back in the trash and shoved the hand towel on top of it, pushing the bin back under the sink.

He didn't know what to do. He was already late and he couldn't go and grab another razor without wasting time or one or his brothers seeing.

Instead he opted for pulling up his sleeve and digging his nails as hard as he could into his arm, closing his eyes as the pain ran through his arms and his thoughts stopped.

‘So much for ‘one more time’’. He thought to himself as he continued to dig his nails into his arms.

One more time.
One more time.

Mikey kept telling himself that but it was just becoming an empty promise at this point.
And if he was being honest the more he did this the more he didn’t want to stop. He knew it was wrong, he knew if his family or friends found out they would be so upset at him. But it made him feel better, it made him feel good.

So why should he stop because others wouldn’t like it?

“Mikey? C’mon we’re going to be late!” A loud knocking at the bathroom door startled Mikey and he pulled his hand away from his arm, letting out a small breathy hiss as he had too roughly pulled away and scratched a cut, causing the skin to break and a small amount of blood to start pooling at the skin.

“I’m almost done Leo!” Mikey called back as he grabbed a small piece of tissue paper and dabbed at the bleeding. He didn’t have time to properly get ready so he just settled for using some mouthwash and splashing some water on his face.

By the time he exited the bathroom Leo was gone, and not wanting him to barge back into his room Mikey quickly got dressed, choosing a gray t-shirt, his orange and black hoodie and a pair of blue jeans, noting to himself that he was out of long sleeved shirts.

He grabbed his backpack that was left unopened next to his desk and made his way downstairs to the kitchen where Leo and Donnie were waiting for him.
“Where’s Raph?” Mikey questioned, noticing that he wasn’t there. Not that he minded.

“Casey picked him up this morning.” Donnie answered as Leo was all but pushing them out of the door.
“Here,” Leo handed Mikey a banana as they walked to the car. “You can get more to eat at school just let me know how much and I’ll give you the money to pay it back tomorrow.” Leo told Mikey as he got into the car with Donnie taking the passenger seat and Mikey sitting in the back behind Leo.

As Leo pulled out of the driveway and began talking to Donnie about something Mikey wasn’t paying attention to, he stared at the banana in his hand. His stomach growled at him from not having eaten the night before, but he didn’t feel hungry. The thought of eating just made him feel nauseous and he really wasn’t sure why.

But Mikey knew that if he didn’t eat his brothers would start to get concerned and the last thing he needed was them worrying about him.
So he peeled the banana and reluctantly ate it, holding the empty peel as he didn’t have anywhere to put it until they got to school.

The rest of the car ride was mostly silent with Leo focusing on driving and Donnie focusing on his phone after he was done talking.

Mikey leaned against the car door and looked outside the window. He was mostly paying attention to the trees and houses they were passing and thinking about how he just wanted the school day over, but from the corner of his eye he was also noticing Leo glancing at him from the rearview mirror.

It was making him uncomfortable as it felt like Leo was looking for something from him but he didn’t know what.
The uncomfortable feeling felt like it was settling under his skin and he instinctively tugged at his sleeves to pull them down more than they already were.

As soon as Leo pulled into the school parking lot and parked the three of them got out and Mikey chucked the banana over the fence and into the grass.

“Mikey! There is a trash can right over there.” Leo yelled.
Mikey shrugged. “Yeah but bananas are compasta-..compos-..umm” Mikey struggled to remember what the term was.

“Compostable.” Donnie helped out.
“Right that one.” Mikey snapped his fingers and pointed at Donnie who chuckled slightly. “It’s compostable so we can throw it outside.”

Leo only rolled his eyes and didn’t want to try and argue further, since technically he was right.
As soon as they entered the school Mikey took off without a word, leaving Leo and Donnie behind.

Normally Leo would go off to his normal spot to meet Usagi but he had to talk to Donnie first.
“Donnie?” Leo started, stopping his younger brother in his tracks as he was ready to head off to his own spot.
“I’m worried about Mikey.” Leo sighed.
“You’ve noticed it too then?” Donnie was facing Leo, holding a look of concern but also relief that he wasn’t the only one to have noticed Mikey’s behavior

“What have you noticed?” Leo asked, wondering if Donnie had noticed something about Mikey that he hadn’t.

“He’s been distant lately.” Donnie began. “He doesn’t want to hang out, he hasn’t asked me to help him with his homework, and he’s just been spending all day in his room.”

Leo nodded slightly as Donnie was explaining all the things that he had been noticing as well.
“Do you think we should confront him about it?”

Donnie shook his head. “No. If we confront him he might feel cornered and not talk to us.” Donnie paused. He had that look on his face where his eyebrows would furrow and he would bite the inside of his cheek when he was thinking.

“Maybe we should give him space. A lot has been going on recently for him, what with getting hurt at training and fighting with you and Raph,” an immediate look of guilt fell on Leo’s face.
“And I’m sure school has been rough on him too. You know how Mikey struggles with his classes.”

Donnie made a good point. Perhaps it would be best if they gave Mikey space for now and waited for him to come to them.

“Yeah you’re right Don.” Leo sighed. He would have to work on giving Mikey space for now, and find something else to keep his mind from worrying.

Like Donnie said, Mikey probably just has a lot going on and it’s getting to him. Leo knew that feeling all too well.

Surely in a few days when things die down Mikey will come around and be acting like himself again.

— — — — —

Zane got off the crowded school bus and walked into the school with the crowd of students. Today he was wearing a pair of black jeans that had some rips at the knees, a dark blue shirt hidden by a black jean jacket that was buttoned most of the way up, and a pair of black boots.

He walked down the hallway to his locker, thinking to himself what he would need to grab for his morning classes which were PE and Science. Once at his locker he opened it up and grabbed what he needed and closed his locker door.

“Hey.” Zane jumped as Jocelyn had been standing on the other side of his locker door and he did not notice her before closing it.

“Jeez! Where did you come from?” Zane questioned, clearing his throat as he calmed down from his sudden and short panic. Jocelyn chuckled.

“Doesn’t matter. Look,” She crossed her arms and leaned against the lockers. “We need to do something about Renet and Mikey.”

“We?” Zane raised an eyebrow in question. Jocelyn nodded.
“Yes we. We need to get them to make up.” Jocelyn explained. “Renet has been miserable since their…can you even call that a fight? I keep asking her what all of that was about the other day but she just avoids it every time I ask.” Jocelyn said with a look of frustration and worry.

“Renet hasn’t told you?” Zane questioned, surprised that Renet didn’t even tell her own girlfriend about Mondo, when Mikey told him.

“No.” Jocelyn sighed. “But I’m not going to push, she’ll tell me when she’s ready.”
“Right.” Zane nodded slightly. “But I don’t think we should get involved. I mean it’s only been a few days. Maybe they need some space.” Zane suggested.

“No. Haven’t you noticed how miserable they’ve been? I know Renet won’t admit it but she is, and I know she misses Mikey.” Jocelyn pointed out right as the bell rang.

“Walk with me.” Before Zane could say anything Jocelyn grabbed him by the arm and they started walking together down the crowded hallway with the rest of the students.

“So I was thinking, we need to get them alone. Like maybe lock them in a room or something so they have to talk to each other.” Jocelyn began explaining her plan.
“We’re not going to lock them in a room.” Zane looked at her as if she was suggesting some insane plan. Jocelyn rolled her eyes.
“Okay then what do you suggest?”

“I already told you we shouldn’t get involved. Give them space and they can talk things out when they’re ready.” Zane was becoming a bit frustrated with how insistent Jocelyn was being. Sometimes it was better to just let people work out their issues on their own rather than forcing them to do so.

They had stopped walking and Jocelyn was now facing Zane who was looking at her with a look of confusion.

“Fine. I will compromise then. If they don’t make up by Friday then we are going with my plan. Okay?” Zane opened his mouth to respond but before he could Jocelyn had already turned around and was walking down the hallway.

“Tomorrow's Friday though!” He called out after her.
“I know!” Jocelyn responded back over her shoulder with a grin.

Zane sighed and shook his head. He really did not agree with Jocelyn’s approach here but it looked like she was going to do this with or without him.

— — — — — —

Mikey sat down at his desk in English and started pulling out his binder. It was only his second class of the day and he felt exhausted.

Well he felt exhausted the moment he woke up, and he was just feeling worse as the day went on.

His first period class had been unbearable.
One because it was Math and two because he had forgotten his homework and the teacher had given him a small lecture in front of everyone. After that he could barely pay attention and just gave up on trying to take any notes. It also didn’t help that he shared that class with Renet. Nothing like getting chewed out in front of your entire class and your friend you are fighting with.

“Alright class, pass up your homework to the front.” The English teacher said as she closed the door as the bell rang and the last of the students had walked in. Mikey opened his binder and…oh right. He forgot to do the homework that was due.

He closed his binder and pushed it to the side. He would just have to do it later and hand it in late instead and hope she accepts it.

Once the homework was collected the teacher began her lesson for the day.
Mikey opened his notebook and tried to keep up with taking notes but it always ended the same every time.

He would start off strong with taking notes ,but then he would make a spelling mistake or make a letter look off from the rest of his words and then he would erase it and start over so it matched. But the teacher would still be talking so he would lose his place and focus and his notes would stop making sense.

He remembered once when this happened a while ago he had asked the teacher to go back but ended up getting lectured about needing to pay attention and to do better with taking notes. After that Mikey never asked again.

Some classes were easier with Renet because she would share her notes with him but that wasn’t happening now.

Mikey grimaced in frustration as he was trying to keep up with taking notes of what the teacher was saying but failing miserably to do so.

By the time the teacher took a small pause, Mikey looked over his notes and it was really just a jumbled mess at this point. Most of the sentences didn’t flow into each other and there were just random words that didn’t connect to a topic when he read over them.

‘Why bother? Even if I could take notes I still wouldn’t pass anything.’ Mikey fidgeted his pencil as he stared at his notes, trying to bring himself to continue taking them as the teacher resumed talking but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it.

— — —

Raph sat at his desk near the windows. He was resting his head in his hand as he was reading his textbook as part of their current assignment.

Well partially reading it.
He had his phone hidden on his lap and was spending the better part of the class texting back and forth with Mona, his current love interest. They weren’t official yet but they’ve been talking non-stop for a while now.

Raph just had to get the courage to ask her out.

As he was in the middle of responding to one of her texts, a notification popped up from Leo.
Raph felt slight annoyance as he clicked on the message to open it full screen.

‘Hey, we need to talk.’

Raph didn’t want to talk to Leo, he was still pissed off at him.

‘I’m worried about Mikey’

Raph frowned and felt a surge of anger.
Of course Leo had to bring up Mikey.

He didn’t want to talk to him to apologize, he didn’t even want to talk to try and understand things from his end.

He just wanted to talk because of Mikey.
Because it was always about Mikey with him.

Because he could never just…BE angry with Mikey without Leo coming at him.

Raph closed out Leo’s text and turned his phone over. His mood was ruined now, well more ruined than it had been recently and he wanted nothing more than to just finish the school day without seeing his brothers.

— — — —

Mikey trudged out of class, somehow feeling more tired than when the class had started.
The day was only halfway over now, he still had lunch and two more classes to get through before it ended.

Mikey pulled out his phone as he walked down the hall, trying to figure out where he should go to lunch as he was still avoiding the cafeteria.

As if on queue he got a text from Zane:

‘Do you want to have lunch in the art room together?’

A small smile appeared on his face as he read the message. At least he had something, rather someone, positive to look forward to.

“Hey!” Mikey jumped as Mondo ran up to him and grabbed his arm by the sleeve of his hoodie, pulling it up slightly to which Mikey quickly grabbed to pull back down, hoping it was not enough to show anything.

“Geez! Give a guy a warning next time.” Mikey gave a half hearted glare that Mondo brushed off.
“Did the link I sent you last night help with…you know?” Mondo asked.
“Shhh! Not in public.” Mikey quickly shushed, looking around briefly to make sure no one was listening. He may be figuring out his sexuality at the moment but he didn’t need the entire school to know that.

“We can talk more at the drama room.” Mikey pulled Mondo along down the hallway towards the drama club so they could talk more in private.

However due to Mondo’s distraction he had forgotten to respond to Zane’s text, and he was too distracted to notice that Zane had walked to the other side of the hall just in time to see him run off with Mondo.

Chapter Text

Mikey pushed open the door to the auditorium with Mondo following behind him. A lot of students who were part of the club tended to spend their lunch and free periods here so there were quite a few students sitting and messing around.

Mikey and Mondo headed onto the stage and to the back where they had talked the other day against the wall where they were mostly hidden by stage props. Mikey placed his backpack on the floor and pressed his back against the wall, closing his eyes briefly and letting out a sigh.

“Sooo…you wanna talk about it now?” Mondo leaned against the wall next to Mikey, crossing his arms.

“I guess.” Mikey wasn’t looking at Mondo but rather was looking forward, letting his attention fall on two students sitting in the seats in front of the stage talking to each other, barely being able to make out what they looked like or what they were doing as he fidgeted with his sleeves, feeling too embarrassed to speak immediately about this subject.

“It just feels awkward to talk about.” Mondo didn’t say anything. He just nodded as he listened but he also looked way too excited about this.

“All of this is just, completely new to me. And I guess it makes sense for how I feel BUT,” Mikey paused, feeling hesitant. “What will my family say? My brothers? Raph is going to hate me and Leo will probably be disappointed and my dad…oh man I don’t even KNOW how he will react-”

“Woah woah,” Mondo gently put his hands up as a gesture to get Mikey to calm down. Mikey stopped talking and took a deep breath. He was on the verge of getting worked up.

He already felt like a disappointment to his family, this would just be one more thing to add to that ever growing list.

“It doesn’t have to be this stressful.” Mikey turned to look at Mondo, having been brought out of his self deprecating thoughts. “And you know, your family doesn’t have to know if you don’t want them to.”

Mikey glanced down. “I know they don’t have to know but, I don’t want to feel like I have to live a lie with them.” Mikey sighed. “Did you ever tell your family?”

“Oh uh, well…” Mondo rubbed the back of his head. “I haven’t told them. But you know how my parents are, they’re usually too busy to notice anything.” He laughed awkwardly, earning a sympathetic look from Mikey.

“Sorry.” Mikey apologized for asking but Mondo waved him off.

“Anyway, how about that link I sent you last night. Did that help you to figure things out?” Mondo changed the subject.

“It did actually.” Mikey nodded. “I didn’t know there were so many different labels.” The site Mondo had sent him had so much on it, so much that he didn’t know existed and that he ended up staying up pretty late going through it.

“It took a while but I think I found something that fits me.” Despite the anxiety he was feeling around his own sexuality, it didn’t stop a small smile from making its way onto his face. It was nerve racking but also nice to have something to describe how he was feeling.

“Oooohh that’s awesome bro! So which one fits ya?” Mondo was grinning and nudged Mikey in the arm.

Mikey opened his mouth to respond but couldn’t bring himself to do so, to bring himself to say it out loud. Sure he was excited to have found something that fit him but he just didn’t feel ready to actually say it.

“I-I don’t think I’m ready to say it.” Mikey admitted and he felt bad as he noticed the excitement falter slightly from Mondo’s face for a moment but he nodded in understanding and thankfully didn’t press further.

“What made you realize you weren’t…you know…straight?” Mikey asked after a few moments of silence.

“Heh more like who.” Mondo chuckled before clearing his throat, feeling a bit caught off guard by the question. “It was just some random crush I had on some guy. Someone in a different grade, you wouldn’t know him.” Mondo was doing a pretty bad job at being convincing and Mikey noticed how he was fidgeting his hands awkwardly and looking around instead of at him, since it was the same mannerisms he did when nervous.

“What about you? Got some crush on a guy that’s making you question everything?” Just like that Mondo was back to his usual outgoing self, grinning as he teased him.

“No, no I don’t…have a crush or anything like that.” He was a terrible liar and he was sure his face was giving him away as he felt it go warm in embarrassment. “I’ve just been doing a project on lgbtq+ month and it got me thinking about things. That’s all.”

“Man, that’s pretty boring.” Mondo said point blank.

“Okay I’m SORRY I don’t have some interesting gay awakening or whatever.” Mikey rolled his eyes as Mondo started laughing.

As Mondo kept laughing Mikey felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and oh….he completely forgot to respond to Zane’s text.

He quickly pulled out his phone and began typing up an apology text:

‘Hey sorry I forgot to respond, I got distracted by something. Hope lunch was okay! Looking forward to seeing you later!’

With that he hit send and wait…was that too weird to say ‘looking forward to seeing you’? Should he have not said that? What if he takes it the wrong way?

The sound of the bell signaling lunch was over brought Mikey out of his thoughts as everyone started packing up and leaving the auditorium.

“Oh man we were so busy talking we forgot to eat.” Mondo frowned as he placed his hands on his growling stomach.

Mikey picked up his backup, ignoring his own stomach growling at him and how he would have to wait until he was home to eat anything.

“Oh hey before I forget,” Mondo began asking as they walked out of the auditorium together. “Do you want to like, hang out or something? We could chill at my place or the skate park-”

“You know this still doesn’t make us friends like before, right?” Mikey cut off Mondo and stopped walking to face him, feeling a twinge of regret for his words as he saw the excited expression on Mondo’s face fall and the glint of sadness in his eyes.

“But, maybe I guess we can do something together.” Mikey sighed and a small smile formed as he saw Mondo perk back up. After all, he had been helping him to figure out something really personal and maybe he and Mondo could become friends again. Maybe.

Mondo promised to text him later to make some plans before running off to his next class while Mikey headed to his which happened to be Science.

–

Science had gone by particularly fast for Mikey, but maybe that was just because he was too distracted by everything going on to actually pay attention.

He was too busy thinking about everything from his conversation with Mondo, to figuring out he wasn’t actually straight, and how he was going to be seeing Zane and spending the afternoon with him.

“You seem to be in a good mood.” Mikey was brought out of his thoughts as he put his stuff down at his desk for his last class of the day, History, that he shared with Zane who was already seated in the desk next to his.

“Huh?” Mikey had been smiling without realizing it. “Oh yeah I guess I’m just happy this is our last class.” Mikey sat down and pulled out his stuff for class. “And I am looking forward to hanging out after this.”

“Same!” Zane smiled. He seemed to always be smiling and Mikey couldn’t help but find it cute.

“Honestly though I am glad this week is almost over. My last class was soooo boring.” Zane drew out with a sarcastic sigh.

Mikey chuckled. “Yeah if I have to sit through one more science class talking about covalent bonds or atoms or whatever I’m gonna lose my mind.” Zane chuckled at how dramatic Mikey was making his class sound which had him grinning in slight satisfaction at making him laugh.

‘He’s probably just putting up with you. He probably doesn’t even think you’re funny.’

Mikey cleared his throat as he opened the binder he had pulled out.

‘C’mon not now.’

Of course right when he was feeling good and actually happy his stupid thoughts were getting in the way AGAIN.

‘The only reason he’s spending time with you is to get the project done. Why would he want to spend time with someone like you? Why would he even like someone like you.’

Mikey was trying really hard to ignore his thoughts, trying really hard to not let it show on his face how it was making him feel.

But how could he ignore something that felt so true to him?

“Alright class take your seats, quiet down. Let’s get started.” The teacher walked in and closed the door behind her as she took her place at the front of the classroom.

This had to be the only time Mikey felt relief at having class start. At least this way he could focus on something other than his own thoughts.

– – –

“Man I really wish today was Friday instead.” Mikey pouted as he and Zane walked down the hallway. Just like the rest of his classes that day History has gone by slowly but luckily it had helped to distract him from his thoughts…well most of them anyway.

“Yeah but waiting one more day isn’t too bad.” Zane responded as he walked beside Mikey with his hands in his pockets.

“I guess. But why can’t everyday be Friday? Then we would like, have the weekend all the time.” Mikey mused.

“Wouldn’t that just mean we would never have the weekend though if every single day was Friday?” Zane had to stop himself from laughing at the way Mikey paused briefly to think about what he had said only for his face to scrunch up in disappointment.

“I guess you’re right. Then everyday should be Saturday, so we just relax all the time.” Mikey said and Zane shook his head slightly.

As they turned the corner of the hallway he spotted Leo at his locker with Usagi standing in front of him, smiling and talking.

“Hey Leo.” Mikey greeted as they walked up to his older brother.

“Hey Mikey, ready to go?” Leo turned to face his brother and Zane while Usagi gave a small greeting to them.

“Yeah,” Mikey paused, looking to see where his other brothers were. “Where’s Raph and Don?” Mikey asked as he began to follow Leo and Usagi down the hall.

“Donnie is going to April’s and Raph is getting a ride home from Casey after their football practice.” Leo explained over his shoulder to Mikey who was behind him.

“Oh okay.” He felt a bit of relief that his brothers were not going with them. It was better that Raph wasn’t with them given that Zane was coming over and Donnie…well…he just didn’t want to deal with him worrying over him more than he was, or worrying over him in front of Zane of all people.

Plus he already felt bad enough that he was making Donnie worry as much as he was.

As Mikey was going through his thoughts he looked forward to his older brother in front of him. Leo was smiling and chatting away with Usagi with a conversation that he couldn’t quite hear but the way Leo was smiling, the way Usagi was smiling and looking at him, he felt different. Something was off but it wasn’t something…bad.

‘Could they be….’

Before Mikey could elaborate more on that thought Zane nudged him in the arm.

“Are you okay?” He spoke quietly, leaning over towards Mikey who felt his face go warm in embarrassment and being flustered that he had been zoning out.

“Yeah yeah I’m fine, just want to get out of here you know?” Mikey put on a smile.

As they walked out of the school and towards the parking lot Leo said goodbye to Usagi who headed towards his own car and the three of them headed towards their own.

Mikey and Zane took the back seats as Leo got into the drivers side and buckled himself in, starting up the car to warm it up.

“Oh check this out.” Zane leaned over to Mikey and pulled out his phone, pulling up a picture he had taken.

“Woah!” Mikey exclaimed as he grabbed the phone. It was a picture of a silver sentry figure and he wasn’t talking about those cheap action figures you would buy at the store. It was one of those good quality figures that probably cost more than he had to his name.

“There’s a collectible shop near my place. I went there recently and saw they had this, it reminded me of the last time I was over and you showed me your silver sentry comics.” Zane explained.

“Dude these figures are so hard to find!” Mikey had remembered all the times he was taken to the comic shop further into the city and they never had anything other than the comics for Silver Sentry. He knew he could probably find these online but honestly that wasn’t the same as getting one in person.

“Maybe next time you can come over and we can go together to take a look?” Zane suggested.

“S-sure.” Mikey cleared his throat and kept his smile, liking the idea of going to the collectable shop together.

As they continued talking and laughing in the backseat, every once and a while Leo would look back through the rearview mirror.

He was watching how his brother was acting with Zane. He noticed how happy Mikey seemed as he was laughing and smiling, an actual smile that he hadn’t seen on his brother's face in a while now.

And it only made him feel guilty because he knew it was because of him and Raph that Mikey wasn’t acting as happy and outgoing as he usually was with them.

Leo pulled into the driveway and as soon as he did his brother was out the car with Zane behind him.

“Do you want anything to eat?” Mikey opened the door and kicked off his shoes towards the shoe rack near the entrance.

“Sure.” Zane took off his own shoes and put them much more neatly on the shoe rack before following Mikey into the kitchen.

“Don’t have too much, we’re having dinner later.” Leo closed the door behind him and called out to his brother.

“A couple of snacks isn’t going to ruin dinner Leo.” Mikey waved him off as he opened up the snack cabinet.

“You like chips? I think we have some Oreos in here too.” Mikey handed a bag of chips to Zane.

“Chips are fine.” Zane responded as Mikey pulled out a half empty container of Oreos.

“More for me then.” Mikey closed the cabinet and grabbed a couple of waters from the fridge.

Leo went over to the table and placed his backpack on the table. He always started his homework in the kitchen to limit any distractions that could happen from being in the living room or his own bedroom.

“You are staying for dinner right?” Mikey asked over his shoulder as they started heading upstairs.

Zane nodded, “Sure, I already told my parents I would be staying late and that you would give me a ride home again.”

“Cool just wanted to make sure.” Mikey glanced over at Leo to make sure he heard as well, although he assumed his brother already knew as he just nodded at him.

The two headed upstairs to Mikey’s room, closing the door behind them once they got there.

— — —

"Good practice everyone." The coach praised as the football team headed inside the locker rooms.

"We are so gonna kick those Panthers asses next Friday!" Casey exclaimed as he put one foot up on the bench to untie his shoes so he could put them away.

"As long as everyone can get the game plan right then it should be an easy win." Raph grumbled with little to no enthusiasm as he opened his locker and began to put away his own gear.

"I thought we did pretty good out there." Casey opened his own locker and tossed his shoes in while grabbing his everyday sneakers.

"'pretty good' isn't good enough." Raph snapped as he finished getting changed back into his regular clothes and slammed his locker closed a little too hard.

"Woah chill dude." Casey put his hands up as Raph gave him a sharp glare.

Raph felt anger start to surge through him at being told to chill and he was about to open his mouth to argue with Casey but stopped as he heard loud laughter coming from the other side of the locker room where Jack and a few others were.

*TW for homophobic remarks*

"Did you see that freshman during lunch today?" Jack started with a smug grin. "He dropped his entire tray and then started crying like a little f'*'*ggot."

"Yeah and he looked like one too!" Laughter erupted once more from the small group.

Raph tightened his hands into fists and his face scrunched up in anger as he listened to what they were saying. All he could think of was Leo's accusations and it was pissing him off.

"Raph don't." Casey watched as Raph stormed past him towards Jack and looked after him with a look of concern as he knew what was about to happen.

"Yeah, and don't even get me started on those sophomores-Hey!" Jack was roughly shoved forward, stumbling to prevent himself from tripping over the bench. He whipped around to see a very angry Raph standing over him and everyone else fell silent.

"What's your deal?" Jack narrowed his eyes as he made eye contact with the team captain.

"My deal is you and your fucking mouth." Raph moved towards Jack who took a step back, the captain easily towering over him.

"Knock it off with the homophobic shit and whatever other garbage you're spewing from your mouth." Jack's eyes narrowed as an angry finger was shoved against his chest. The others around him went silent, a few who were standing to the side were whispering and trying to hide their laughter.

Jack felt his face heat up in embarrassment and anger. He bit his bottom lip hard in anger as his fists flexed with the urge to take action but he chose not to, instead taking a deep breath and standing up straight to keep his composure to face Raph.

"We're just joking around Raph," Jack spoke a little too calmly for Raph's liking. He could feel his anger rising as that smug look plastered itself across his face once more and it was so tempting for Raph to just wipe it off of him in his own way. "I think you're a bit wound up, you could really benefit from some of Bradfords weed." The others around him started snickering as Raph looked even more furious.

Without thinking Raph roughly grabbed Jack by the collar of his shirt, the others smug look faltering for one of panic instead as the room fell silent once more.
"If I hear any of that shit out of your mouth again you are off the team."

"You can't do that." Jack scoffed and narrowed his eyes, grabbing Raphs hand to try and let him go but his grip was too strong for him.

"Yeah? Want to find out?" He shoved Jack backwards and let go of his shirt, watching as he stumbled into the bench and caught himself with his hands to prevent himself from falling to the ground.

Raph gave him one more look that was just daring him to try him before he walked back over to Casey who was shaking his head at him.

"You didn't have to do that man." He sighed as Raph grabbed his bag and slammed his locker shut.
"These idiots need to be put in their place. And I don't want to give Leo anymore fucking ammo to come at me for their shit." Raph spat, looking over at where Jack was as he said that just loud enough for them to hear and catching the glare he was receiving before Jack grabbed his own stuff and left the locker room.

"I get that man, but seriously messing with Jack isn't the best move." Casey stood up with his own bag and grabbed his keys from his pockets as they began to leave the locker room.

Raph chuckled. "Yeah I'd like to see him try something. It'll give me a chance to kick his ass."
Casey laughed, as that was just like Raph to always be looking for a reason to fight someone.

"As long as you invite me to the ass kicking party when it happens." The two erupted in laughter as Raph threw a friendly arm around Casey's shoulder, the two bantering back and forth about how a fight like that would go and how they would easily win.

--
Jack threw his backpack in the passenger's seat and slammed his door shut.

"Dammit!" He slammed his hands against the steering wheel as he yelled in frustration.
He was pissed as hell.

"I should have punched him in the fucking face." Jack spat to himself as he started the car.

Not only did he embarrass him in front of the entire team but he also threatened to kick him off!

Jack's face scrunched up in anger as he pulled out of the student lot.
He needed to get Raph back, to show him he couldn't pull that shit with him.
But he knew that if he even tried to fight him he would lose. There was a reason Raph was captain of the football team and why everyone listened to him.

"I'll just have to get back at him another way." An unnerving smile spread across his face as he knew the perfect way to make Raph pay.

--

"Okay I think we might actually be able to finish this today." Zane commented as he finished typing his last paragraph.

After they headed up to Mikey's room Zane was pretty adamant on focusing on their work first to avoid distractions like last time. Mikey tried to protest but ultimately Zane convinced him that they could play video games after they were done.

So they settled on Mikey's bed as it was the biggest, and comfiest space in his room. Zane was sitting crisscrossed with his laptop in front of him while Mikey was laying on his stomach next to the other, his head resting on his arms as he watched Zane type away.
Mikey had felt bad as he didn't get a chance to do more research like he had said he would. Instead he ended up forgetting and slept through the afternoon the day before instead of doing actual work.
Luckily Zane was not angry with him and was surprisingly understanding.

Maybe Mikey was just used to the disappointment from his father and brothers when he forgot to do something so it was nice to not receive the same treatment from him.

"And all we need is for you to write the last paragraph and I think we will be good." Zane pushed the laptop over to Mikey. Mikey pushed himself up on his elbows so he could start typing out the final paragraph.

'Just one more paragraph then this is done, you can do it.'

Mikey was taking slower than he wanted. He was trying to get himself to just start typing but wasn't sure where to start and with Zane next to him, he didn't want to seem like an idiot.

"You okay?" Zane was noticing how Mikey was freezing up.

"Yeah yeah I'm fine just...maybe you can look away while I type?" Mikey asked sheepishly.
Zane raised an eyebrow in confusion but didn't question his request and turned himself so he was facing the wall.

It was helping a little bit not having Zane watch him as he began trying to try and type out at least a decent paragraph.

"Do you want some help?" Zane asked as ten minutes passed by and he wasn't hearing much typing from Mikey.

"Um..no...no I got this, sorry." Mikey mumbled as he continued to type but was struggling to figure out how to word the sentence.

"It's okay if you need some help." Zane spoke gently as he shifted back into a position where he was sitting crisscrossed next to Mikey and leaning down to read what he had so far.

Mikey felt his face go warm and he couldn't find himself to speak because Zane was literally sitting right up against him and....oh man.....

"What you have is pretty good. I think if you end it with something like....this....we could be done." Zane began typing out the rest of the paragraph as Mikey watched.

"I think this should finish it off." Zane smiled as he stopped typing but then realized that he just went ahead and wrote everything out instead of letting Mikey do it himself.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to take over there." He smiled sheepishly and Mikey couldn't help but feel his face get warmer as his smile was just too cute.

"I-it's not a problem." Mikey laughed awkwardly and pushed himself up in a sitting position. "At least now it's done so.....we can play some games now?" He reached down and grabbed one of the controllers that was laying at the side of his bed, trying to put on a convincing grin.

"Sure why not? Lets just make sure to read this over later yeah?" Zane grabbed the other controller that Mikey was handing him, giving into his offer of taking a break to play some games instead.

They shut the laptop and moved their assignment off of the bed so they could readjust and sit at the edge to be closer to the tv that sat in front.

Zane wasn't picky about what they played as Mikey just started up whatever game he already had in the console.

They sat there and played for a while, not really keeping track of time or thinking about the assignment they just worked on.

"Man you are really doing bad at this." Zane commented with a smile and laughed as he focused on the game.
"No I'm not! You're just getting lucky." No, he was doing bad at the game but it wasn't his fault, he kept getting distracted.

He was trying to focus on the game but his thoughts just kept wandering to Zane.
It was like every little detail was flooding his mind.
How close they were sitting, how when he got a little too into the current match he would brush against him for a moment.
How when he taunted him in the game it was more....cute....than anything else and that smile....

Mikey wasn't sure how to handle these feelings. It was becoming more and more clear to him that he definitely had a crush on Zane.

And that just made it all the more real for him that he definitely wasn't straight.
It was exciting, figuring out who he actually was and having a crush to go along with it, but also scary at the same time as he now had a lot more complicated things to deal with that was going to come with this.

"I don't think I'm lucky, I really think you're just bad at this game." Zane was laughing as Mikey was snapped out of his thoughts and 'game over' was flashing on his side of the screen.

"Nah I just let you win!" Mikey retorted with a grin, playfully bumping his shoulder against Zane as he pressed the button to restart the match.

"You guys look like you're really hard at work on your project." Leo had barely knocked before opening the door to Mikey's room.

"For your information Leo, we actually finished the project." Mikey didn't take his eyes off the screen as his older brother crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow with a questioning look.

"We actually did finish it, we're just taking a break." Zane responded as he turned his head to look over to where Leo was who seemed to at least believe that answer.

Mikey was going to pretend that that didn't sting a little bit to have his brother believe Zane over him.

"Alright, well I just wanted to let you guys know that dinner will be ready in about half an hour." Leo was looking around Mikey's room, a small habit he had when he went into his brother's rooms. He noticed how the room was slightly messier than usual with clothes shoved into the corner and how messy his desk was with what looked to be schoolwork half done and some not done at all.

"Sure Leo we'll be down." Mikey waved him off, still not looking at him.

Leo observed how Mikey and Zane were sitting with each other and playing, pausing for a minute before turning and leaving with a short okay, slightly hesitating if he should close the door or leave it open but closed it instead and quickly shook off whatever he was assuming.

Chapter Text

As soon as Leo closed the door the two went right back to the game. They played another round before Zane wanted to take a break despite Mikey's protests to keep playing.

"We already finished the project. You don't have to work on it anymore." Mikey fell backwards onto his bed as the TV lit up the room with the pause menu set on the screen with the continue button flashing.

"I just want to read it over again to make sure it sounds good." Mikey turned his head to look at Zane who had grabbed the laptop and begun skimming through the paragraph's to check for any mistakes and areas of improvement.

After a couple minutes went by Mikey crossed his arms behind his head and chose to look at his ceiling instead, counting the stars scattered across the surface.

It was kind of a nice vibe they had going on at the moment. While Mikey would rather be back to playing his game and he had no interest in reading over what they already wrote down, it was kind of nice having this quiet moment in the dark with nothing but the lights from the tv illuminating around them as they sat on his bed in a comfortable silence.

He wondered what this would feel like if they were doing something other than working on their project together. The idea of cuddling like this and just relaxing together seemed like a pretty nice idea...

"Hey," Zane's voice brought Mikey out of his thoughts and he moved his arms so he could sit up a bit to look over at the other.
"Yeah?" Mikey cocked his head to the side slightly as Zane wasn't looking at him. He was keeping his focus on the computer but his expression looked a little too serious for Mikey's liking. He wondered if Zane had found something wrong with the essay, maybe something Mikey messed up and he would have to fix all of it.

"I have something I need to tell you." Zane sighed and partially closed his laptop, placing it to an empty spot on the bed. Mikey sat up fully now, not liking how serious Zane was looking at him, as if he had something bad to tell him.

'He's probably going to tell you that he doesn't want to be friends anymore now that the project is over. No reason for him to stick around with you now.'

Mikey was trying his hardest to keep a steady face but it was hard when that voice was telling him numerous scenarios of what Zane could possibly want to say.

"So, um..." Zane raised a hand to rub the back of his awkwardly, "man, Jocelyn is going to kill me for even telling you this," he was trying to find the best way to word this to Mikey who only looked at him more confused at the mention of his ex-best friends girlfriend. Did this have something to do with Renet?

"I know we already talking about this earlier and I know you want to take your time to talk to Renet again but....Jocelyn seems to think otherwise."

"What do you mean.?" Mikey didn't realize he was leaning forward waiting for Zane's answer. He noticed that Zane was fidgeting with one of the bracelets he was wearing, a black beaded one that sat between two others.

"She wants to get you and Renet alone together tomorrow to talk about what happened." Zane finally made eye contact with Mikey who was closer to him than he realized. He was remembering his conversation with Jocelyn, and how she had run off without any consideration as to whether Mikey or Renet would event want that.

"I-I told her it was a bad idea though, and that I wouldn't help her with it." Zane noticed the shift of emotions on Mikey's face. He had gone from confusion to now a mixture of what looked to be hurt and anxiety. "Are you okay?"

Mikey, now realizing how close he had moved towards the other, cleared his throat and moved back. "Yeah, thanks for telling me." He mumbled out as he took in what Zane was saying.

It wasn't like Zane had told him some big secret or plan Jocelyn was making, she just wanted to get him and Renet alone to talk but that didn't stop his anxiety from creeping in and making him feel overwhelmed.

"You sure? You don't look like you're okay." And now Zane was worried about him...no. He had made Zane worry about it and Mikey didn't like that.

"I'm fine really. I'm glad you told me, at least now I can watch out tomorrow for any 'Mikey traps' Jocelyn sets up." He tried to play it off with a Joke but it just felt more awkward than funny and it didn't help that Zane was still looking at him with so much concern.

'Or maybe he thinks you're a weirdo for getting upset over this. Normal people wouldn't be acting like you are to something that isn't so serious! Why would he be concerned over you?'

"I'm uh, just gonna use the bathroom real quick." Definitely not suspicious is what Mikey thought as he pushed himself off his bed and quickly walked over to his bathroom before Zane could say anything.

As soon as the click of the lock sounded Mikey pressed his back against the door and threw his hands to his eyes that he was shutting as tight as he could until he started to see white spots in the darkness.

That stupid voice wasn't leaving him alone. His breathing felt like it was getting heavier, the anxiety felt like it was spreading throughout his body and creating this overwhelming pressure on him.

He needed to get control of this before it sends him into a full on panic attack.

Mikey slid down the door and to the ground, bringing up his knees and giving his now aching eyes a break as he moved his arms to cross over his knees to rest his head on.

This wasn't something he should be freaking out over. He was glad Zane had told him all of this. If he was caught off guard by Jocelyn tomorrow and her plan, the outcome would probably be a lot worse than how he's feeling right now.

He really did miss Renet. It felt so empty and off not talking to the one person he's known since they were kids. But he was sure she didn't want to talk to him yet, or ever again for that matter.

And frankly, he wasn't too ready to talk to her either. He didn't know what to say or if he was even ready to say anything.

Mikey let out a frustrated whine.

The more he thought about it, the whole situation was just stupid. All of this could have been avoided if he had just told her, his openly gay best friend, that he was....was....

Mikey pushed himself up from the ground and started to pace in his bathroom with one hand over his mouth and his other arm pressed tight against his chest. That overwhelming feeling was getting heavier.

If he had just told her how he was feeling with the bullying, with his feelings towards Zane, why he was talking to Mondo....
He felt pathetic.
All of this could have been so easily avoided but yet again he complicated everything and ruined their friendship.

He should have just told her, gone to her first, been honest.
He should have told the school about Jack.
He shouldn't have gone to Leo about Raph and making things worse-

As all of these thoughts were pooling up in his mind he eyed the garbage can that was hidden under the counter.

TW* Mentions of self harm
-
'Do it, it'll make you feel better.'

It was so tempting to just dig through the garbage and to find the razor that he buried to give himself some relief.
Mikey didn't even realize when he grabbed the garbage can and placed it on the counter.
He stood there, starting at it.
He felt frozen, as if he wasn't sure what he wanted to do next.

That voice kept telling him to do it, but another voice came in-

'Don't. Not with him here. Do you want him to find out? He will never like you if he sees what you've done.'

Mikey stood there staring at the garbage can, listening to this voice instead telling him not to do it.
With a shaky sigh he chose to place the can back under the counter and instead placed his hands on the counter top, closing his eyes once more and slowing his breathing in an attempt to calm back down.

He took in a long breath and held it for longer before exhaling, repeating the process a few more times.
He remembered Donnie showing him this technique when they were younger when he would have really bad panic attacks. It's suppose to help calm you down and help get rid of anxiety.

When things started to feel more steady, Mikey turned on the faucet, cupping his hands to catch the cold water and splashed his face a few times, dragging his fingers down his cheeks and looking in the mirror. He was starting to feel normal again.

After a few more seconds he dried off his face and looking back in the mirror he examined himself. His bruised nose was almost healed now, and he looked a bit disheveled. But something else felt....off.
He was seeing himself in the mirror, he was here.
But for some reason that just made him feel awkward...as if acknowledging that he was looking at himself and he was here was....wrong.

Choosing to not delve into that any further, Mikey pushed himself away from the sink and took another minute to calm himself before going back out to his room.

Zane looked up immediately from his phone when Mikey exited the bathroom and he felt awkward having his eyes on him.

"Sooo do you want to keep playing?" Mikey was trying to play it off and walked back over to his bed, flopping back down and reaching for the controller.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Zane was still looking at him with concern and maybe Mikey was reading too much into it but the way Zane was looking at him, well no one else had looked at him like that before.

"I'm okay dude. I just...it was just a lot to take in but I'm all good I swear!" That sounded sooo awkward but Mikey gave a smile anyway.

Without any warning and before Mikey could process what was happening, Zane moved towards him and wrapped him in a hug.
"I'm sorry." Mikey didn't say anything, he didn't move. His face felt like it was burning and his brain felt like it was short circuiting. Zane was hugging him. The guy he had a crush on was this close to him, hugging him.

'Is this what a gay panic feels like?'

Mikey wasn't sure if he should return the hug. His heart was beating faster than normal. If he returned the hug then Zane would be even closer to him....
Without much more thought Mikey raised his arms to return the hug, trying to make it seem like the kind of hug that friends would give and not the kind where he wanted to pull him as close as possible-

"Hey Dinner's ready." The moment was short lived as Leo's voice called out and as soon as he opened the door both Mikey and Zane pushed away from each other, as if caught doing something they weren't suppose to.

Leo must've seen them hugging, he had to. But as Mikey looked at his brother he looked and sounded normal. His expression didn't give anything away but he was observing them a little too much. Then again this was something Mikey was use to with Leo. Ever so observant and always quick to pick up on things.

"We'll be down in a minute." Mikey cleared his throat and Leo nodded, leaving the room but not closing the door all the way.

"I-Sorry I hugged you." Zane started to apologize. "I forgot we haven't really known each other that long and I am still use to my old friends when they would get upset they didn't mind if I hugged them."

Hearing the word friend felt like a stab to the heart but Mikey didn't let that show.
Right, friends. That is all they were.

"It's fine I didn't mind. My brothers are the same way, except Raph he isn't a big fan of hugs." But it wasn't actually fine because here he was too focused on the fact that Zane was that close to him and here he was thinking of him as something more than a friend while Zane only saw him as one.

Somehow this internal panic was feeling worse than his breakdown in the bathroom.

"Anyway we should go down for dinner before Leo comes back. He starts to get really annoying when he does." Mikey cleared his throat and stood up off the bed, checking his appearance to make sure he looked okay.

"Yeah, sure." Zane got up and Mikey led them downstairs to the kitchen. He was surprised to only see Leo, Donnie and April there.

"Where's Dad?" Mikey asked as he stopped next to the table. Leo was finishing setting up while Donnie helped to bring over the food.
"He called earlier and said he had to work late." Leo responded.
"And Raph?"
"Still at practice." The table was ready and Donnie and April were already sitting down.

"Soooo does that mean we have to eat at the table then?" Mikey already knew the answer to that as Leo raised his eyebrows and looked at him. It was worth asking though since it was usually their dad who enforced the rule that they had to all sit together for dinner.

Mikey took a seat across from Donnie and patted the seat next to him for Zane to take. He had stayed quiet, unsure of what to say while Mikey interacted with his siblings.

"This is Donnie, my other brother." Mikey introduced. "And that's April. We're not related but we've known her for like, ever, so she's practically family."

Donnie and April gave a smile and a small hello while Zane awkwardly nodded.
"And this is Zane, we've been working on a history project together. Oh and he's pretty new-ish to school."

Mikey finished his introductions as he reached over the table to start grabbing some of the food and putting it on his plate. For once his appetite was feeling normal and not like the past few days where it was a struggle to even get the motivation to eat.

"Oh nice, what school did you use to go to?" April asked as she began to grab her own food.

"Xavier highschool." As they were talking Mikey had taken the liberty to fill up Zane's plate too which he seemed to be grateful for as he smiled over at Mikey in a show of thanks.

"Isn't that a private all boys school?" Donnie asked in between bites of his food.

"Yeah it is, how did you know?" Zane picked up his fork and began eating the food Mikey had gotten for him.

"Last years robotics competition, they were one of the competing schools. I remember they had a huge robot, it was pretty fast and strong but still not enough for them to win." Donnie was smiling as he remembered the competition. Their own robotics club had worked for months on their own robot. They had gotten close to winning the competition, but it was not enough to actually win.

"Why did you leave?" Mikey shot Donnie a look that his brother of course ignored. It was always like Donnie to keep prying for more information. "I mean, that's a huge difference going from a private school to public."

"Oh uh, my parents got new jobs and we had to move for it." It was a short answer and Mikey couldn't help but notice the shift in Zane's mood.

"It's not too far from here though, how far did you end up moving-"
"Okay Don, maybe tone down the questions you sound like you're interrogating him." Leo piped up and Mikey almost laughed as Donnie looked offended at being asked to stop.

"I didn't mean to-I was just curious is all." Donnie gave an apologetic smile towards Zane.

"It's alright I really don't mind." But even with that it was obvious that Zane was uncomfortable.

"Speaking of robotics, Donnie and April are building a pretty cool one." Mikey wanted to change the subject and to take some of the attention away from Zane. "Maybeee you guys can show it to us after dinner?"

"We would but it's at my place right now. But we took some videos of it the other day when testing it that I can show you." April pulled out her phone and brought up one of the videos, turning the phone so everyone could see. The robot looked a lot bigger than the last time Donnie showed it to Mikey. They had modified it so now it could pick up things which April was demonstrating in the video as they controlled it to move around and pick up different items they had laying around.

"That's pretty cool." Zane said in awe.

"Thanks! We're hoping it'll win this years robotics competition." The video ended and April took back her phone.

They talked a little bit more about Donnie and April's robot as well as the specifics around the robotics competition which so happened to be in a couple months and they were all invited including Zane.

"Oh I forgot to mention, the student council has decided the next school event will be a Halloween winter themed dance." Leo spoke up after the previous conversation had ended and they had been sitting in silence.

"Halloween winter themed?" Mikey gave a questioning look before taking another bite of his food. "That seems like a weird combination."

"Don't speak with your mouth full Mikey." Mikey rolled his eyes.
"Well we haven't decided if we want to do it for Halloween or more towards Decemeber and have it be winter themed. So for now we're dubbing it as 'Halloween Winter' themed." Leo went on to explain as he finished his food, his plate clean with no leftovers and he placed his silverware and napkin neatly on the table.

"A Halloween dance sounds pretty fun. You could make it costume themed too."
Zane was becoming more relaxed with the rest of Mikey's family which he was glad about. He was hoping that if Zane was comfortable with everyone else then he would want to come over more.

"Karai said the same thing too." Leo crossed his arms and smiled. "The next meeting we will all take a final vote to see which one we go with."

Before anything else could be said the front door opened as both Raph and Casey walked in.

"Hey guys." April greeted with a small wave and smile, getting mumbled hellos in return.

"Oh man this looks great. I am starving!" Casey grinned, rubbing his hands together as he walked over to the table and looked at the food.

"You might need to warm it up. There's more plates on the counter." Leo gestured to the kitchen where three empty plates had been sitting.

As Casey went to grab a plate Raph walked by. For a brief moment he made eye contact with Mikey who was feeling his anxiety creep in, worried that the moment would be ruined by his brothers bad mood. He didn't want any arguments to start with Raph, especially not with Zane here.

But Raph didn't say anything and went into the kitchen with Casey to grab his own plate.

"Are you going to sit and eat with us?" Leo spoke up. The question was more directed to Raph since Casey had already taken a seat next to April.

"Nope." Raph's response was quick and it was clear that he was already annoyed with their oldest brother. The tension was obvious in the air as Raph took his time filling up his own plate.

"If dad was here-"
"Well he's not here today is he?" Raph snapped at Leo, throwing the serving spoon harshly back in the bowl. Leo had that annoyed look on his face, the one he usually got before they started arguing but before anything else could be said Raph huffed and stomped his way up stairs to his room, letting everyone know he made it there when he slammed the door shut.

An awkward silence hung in the air.
The peaceful atmosphere that they had moments before was gone and instead replaced with a heavy layer of tension.

Mikey glanced over at Zane and gave him an apologetic small smile.

"Did something happen at practice?" Donnie broke the silence, asking Casey who had a mouthful of food.

"It's Raph," Casey covered his mouth while he talked and ate at the same time. "something always happens at practice to get him in a bad mood."

Mikey felt his apatite slowly going away. He knew the real reason why Raph was in a bad mood was because of him. It's always because of him.

He didn't eat the rest of his dinner. Slowly the conversations started going back to normal as Casey began chatting up a storm with April and Donnie. Here and there he would include Leo and Zane to get their opinion on what he was saying and when he tried to get Mikey to contribute it was just a one word answer or a shrug.

Mikey didn't care too much if they noticed. They probably didn't but he was not in the mood to really talk anymore.

He wondered instead how long him and Raph would keep fighting.
He wondered if he would ever stop being the reason why Raph was in a bad mood.
Probably not.

'He'd be in a better mood if you just weren't around anymore.'

Mikey tensed up. His body felt a sudden jolt of coldness run through him.
That was new.

It wasn't uncommon for that voice in his head to speak negatively to himself but suggesting that he should just...leave...that was new.

No, he didn't want to think about this.
Sure his mental state wasn't the best and he was using not so great coping methods. But that was it. He wouldn't go any further.

"Mikey can you help clean up?" Mikey looked up from his plate. Leo was standing up and grabbing the plates from the table. He looked around and didn't notice that April, Casey and Donnie had left.

"You okay?" Zane quietly asked as Leo walked into the kitchen and was out of ear shot.

"Yeah I'm alright." Mikey didn't look at Zane. He just grabbed his own plate to start cleaning up and went to grab Zane's before being stopped.
"I can help clean up." Zane offered, grabbing his own plate and a few other things from the table.

"You really don't have to." Mikey noticed his soft smile and suddenly that became the focus of his mind.
"I know I don't have to do it, but let me help out." Zane walked into the kitchen to where Leo was, asking him where to put his stuff.

Mikey watched as his older brother smiled at Zane, clearly happy to have someone helping without being asked first.
A small part of him felt jealous because he couldn't remember the last time Leo looked at him like that. It was always looks of disappointment or concern.
He was starting to forget if Leo ever looked at him the way he was towards Zane, towards Donnie, even towards Raph.

Mikey brought his plates over to the sink and placed them on the counter. Leo gave him a quick thanks but no smile.

"When I'm done with these dishes I'll drive you home." He didn't have much to cleanup which meant they would have at least another ten minutes together. A part of Mikey was hoping they could have more time but unfortunately it was late and they did have school the next day.

They both headed upstairs to Mikey's room, walking past Raph's room that had the door shut tight and you could hear music on the other side.
If they weren't fighting Mikey would make a joke at how dramatic his brother was being for sulking with his music playing loudly.

"Today was pretty fun." Zane commented as they walked back into Mikey's room. He walked over to Mikey's bed where his backpack was placed to the side and his laptop on the bed, packing everything away. "And we got our project done so we don't have to worry about that anymore."

Mikey sat down on the edge of his bed as he watched Zane pack up his things.
"Yeah if I had to write anymore of that essay I'm gonna loose my mind." Mikey dramatically commented, earning a small chuckled from Zane.
Mikey smiled. He felt like he had butterflies in his stomach which was still a weird but nice feeling he was getting use to.

"But I guess with the project done there's not much of a reason to hang out anymore." Mikey sighed dramatically. Rationally he knew Zane would want to keep hanging out but a part of him was afraid he wouldn't want to now that the project was over.

Zane looked at him with surprise and the smile he had was gone. Mikey mentally kicked himself for saying that. He just wanted to see what Zane would say. He didn't want to make him upset.

"You don't want to hangout anymore?" Mikey could clearly hear the hurt in his voice and he hated that.

"I-I was only kidding." He threw his hands up in front of him and laughed awkwardly.

"Did you think I was only hanging out with you because of the project?" Zane put his bag down and moved closer to the edge of the bed where Mikey was sitting, standing directly in front of him so Mikey had to look up.

"No, no I was just kidding honestly, I don't even know why I said that." Mikey felt his face getting warm as more awkward laughs escaped him. It's a bad habit he has when nervous.

"I like hanging out with you Mikey. You're pretty much my only friend." Zane rubbed the back of his head as he admitted that, looking to the side briefly before making eye contact again.

Mikey smiled but ouch, hearing the guy you have a crush on say you're just friends was a sting to his chest.

"Yeah same here dude." Mikey cleared his throat and stood up. "I'm sorry I said that, I really was just kidding around. But if you're serious about wanting to hang out again then you gotta plan the next one." Mikey teased and that seemed to get things back to a better mood because Zane was smiling again.

"Sure I have a few ideas." Before they could continue the door to Mikey's room opened and Leo stepped through.

"Ready to go?" Leo had his keys in one hand and he had already gotten changed so he was wearing a thin jacket for the cold.

They followed Leo out of the house and to the car. The sun was almost done setting, leaving behind a nice purple tint in the sky that would soon fade to a dark blue.

"Hey about tomorrow, I'll try to talk to Jocelyn but just to be safe I would try to avoid her. I'm not sure if she will actually listen to me." Zane whispered to Mikey as they climbed into the backseat and buckled themselves in.

"I don't think it will be too hard to avoid her. I don't actually see her that much unless she's with Renet." Mikey didn't have any classes with her and when he really thought about it he never actually saw her anywhere else in the school by herself since their schedules don't align.

The rest of the car ride was mostly spent in silence. They didn't say much else and if Mikey was being honest, being in the car with Leo made it harder for him to say anything. He just felt too awkward and as irrational as it sounded to him, a small part was afraid that he would do something to give away his crush and Leo would know.

Soon enough the familiar driveway of Zane's house came into view.
"Thanks for having me over and for the dinner." Zane thanked them before saying goodbye and exiting the car. Mikey gave him a wave goodbye as he headed towards house and went inside.

"You want to sit up front?" Leo broke Mikey's attention from the window. He was looking at him through the rear view mirror.
Mikey didn't say anything as he got out of the back seat to move into the passengers seat.

They sat in silence for the first few minutes of Leo pulling out of the driveway to head home.

"I want to talk to you about earlier." Leo broke the silence.
Mikey just kept looking out the window. Great, here we go again. Why couldn't Leo just drop this already?

"I don't like how you were blaming yourself earlier. What's going on between Raph and I is not because of you Mikey." Leo started explaining. The last thing he wanted was for his younger brother to be blaming himself for their own issues.

Mikey didn't say anything. He actually didn't know what to say.
Here Leo was telling him it wasn't his fault when he knew that was a lie.
It was his fault Raph is pissed at them. It's his fault that he and Leo are fighting.
What was he suppose to say? He didn't want to agree with his brother but he also didn't want to tell him that he was lying.

"And I'm sorry that I told Raph what you said to me." That caught Mikey by surprise. He turned to look at Leo who was keeping his gaze on the road.
"I just....got so mad about it I didn't really think about it when I confronted him." He wasn't expecting Leo to apologize to him.
Mikey didn't know what to make of this.
This was starting to feel more like Leo venting to him than lecturing him. His older brother never did this with him. This was new.

"Why did you get mad?" Mikey asked carefully. He waited for a response but Leo didn't say anything. He was hesitating, debating whether or not he should actually tell Mikey the truth.

"It's....complicated." Leo sighed. "Just, don't worry about it okay Mikey? I just want you to know that this isn't your fault." He stared at Leo, looking over his expression.

"Okay." Was all Mikey could manage to say.
'He's lying to you.'
Mikey turned his gaze to the road in front of him.
'Of course its your fault, its always your fault.'

He saw Leo look at him from the corner of his eye. He knew his brother wanted more from him than a simple 'okay' but what else was he suppose to say?

As soon as they pulled into their own driveway Mikey was the first to get out. As soon as Leo unlocked the house door he retreated upstairs to his room without saying another word.

Leo placed his keys down on the table and listened to the fading footsteps followed by the sounds of a door closing.
The rest of the house was silent and he couldn't tell if he made things worse or better with Mikey in the car.

He grabbed a water bottle from the fridge, hearing faint laughter from the basement that belonged to Donnie, April and Casey.

He walked upstairs to his own room, hearing nothing from Mikey's room and hearing the sound of faint music from Raphs room.

The first thought that crossed his mind was how Raph picks terrible songs when he's sulking. The second thought was him planning on talking to Raph tomorrow about everything, if he was even willing to talk with him to begin with.

Leo went into his own room, turning on the light and closing the door behind him.