Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Kamisato Ayato is fearless.

He's from a reputable clan. Charismatic. Strong. He has an entire assassin organization at his disposal.
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He wanted to get rid of the fatui harbingers so he told his whole oraginzation of the plan and who are they gonna kill first. So he decided to first kill Childe because rumours said he has bigger weiner than him.
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He started packing essential stuff (a pride Ikea bag and a phone charger) and he left his rich people house. He found Childe easily as his weiner was so big it left a trail in the wet dirt. He killed Childe, cut of his d an ate it for dinner

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One day Kokomi was wery tired from all the hard work she was doing recenly so she decided to take a day off to rest and relax .On her way home
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She met Scaramouche. She got scared and got a 5 second brain freeze. Once the brain freeze passed she realized how cute she looked in her fish-cat hybrid furr suit and said something that would traumatize Scaramouche for the rest of his life.
She said: "I luv u UwU meau blu blu Blu UwU"
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Scaramouche was horrified.

"What the actual fuck?"

Kokomi shook her head.

"My apologies, Baladeer. It seems some... unknown power got a hold of my body for a few seconds. The real question here is, what are you doing in Watatsumi? I thought me and my men made it quite obvious you weren't welcome here."

He let out a scoff.

"You got a problem with me taking a walk, priestess? I'm not scheming anything this time. Just trying to enjoy my day."

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Yae Miko woke up one morning. She felt a strong demonic energy around her so she ignored it and got out of her bed. She made her way to the bathroom of her luxury shrine and what she saw shocked her: it was Paimon
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Paimon let out a high pitched shriek.

"Oh! Ahahaha! Hi Miko! Um, I wasn't doing anything here! I swear! I was just visiting! While you were asleep! Yes!"

Miko stared at her with mild amusement.

"So that's why you're hiding a katana behind your back?"

The pixie's face went pale.

"Or, well, should I say," laughed Miko, "attempt to hide it. It's almost twice as big as you. Did you seriously think you could carry it without alerting anyone?"

"I'm just borrowing it! That's- that's definitely it! I wasn't trying to kill you or anything!" she stammered.

Miko rolled her eyes. Paimon was almost too easy to read.
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But in the reality she was trying to kill Itto with that katana because last time she saw him he tried to cook her and eat her for dinner .He wanted to eat her for protein so he will have big mommy milkers for ay

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Sara could never compete with Miko, which is why she doesn't even try to.

Miko makes the Shogun happy. The Shogun enjoys her company. They've known each other for years and they see each others as equals.

Miko is everything Sara wants to be.
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Sara decides to steal Miko's identity. Killing her would be easy, but there is one problem.
Sara doesn't want to kill her.
She must find another way.
In
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the night she decided to kidnap her . As she walked to the shrine she saw Miko with Shogun , she was really jealous of her. She decided to wait for Raiden to leave.But then she saw them coming to the shrine

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It was Tuesday and Albedo wanted to look for birds so he could draw them .As he walked down the Village he saw Raiden with a bird on her hands and then he asked :
What are you doing ?
And Raiden said :
Just checking it for vision.
Albedo said what the fuck
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The blonde shook his head, "I'm sorry, your highness, but birds don't receive visions."

The Shogun chuckled, "I was attempting to make a joke. It seemed it did not fall well. It is alright, I will make sure to practice."

Albedo wasn't quite sure what to say next. The Shogun had a reputation as an unreachable ruler with an iron fist, so meeting her of all people out in a random village and having her talk so casually to him is something he didn't expect.
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Albedo then made a decision: he will befriend the Shogun.
"You want to be friends with me?" Asked Albedo, as he desperately wanted some friends.
"No" said Raiden and dissolved into the air.
Albedo was shocked! He wanted to be friends with her. Why did she dissappear?

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Zhongli is bored ok. He has a house, he has a garden, he has his wallet (for once) an he has
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chocolate given by Childe. He was really bored that day so he went to his garden to chill and eat the chocolate.He saw something green in the pool , it was venti. DRUNK VENTI as always. He had no clue
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what he was doing there, or how come there was suddenly a pool in the garden, but he figured that wasn't much of a concern considering Venti was literally drowning.

He flexed his manly geo muscles and jumped into the pool to get the drunk Anemo Archon. He was unsurprisingly really light and it didn't take him too much time to get him out.

'I need to get someone to perform CPR,' Zhongli thought, 'Because I'm definitely not doing it.'

Since he had no idea who to get, he just shrugged and let Venti lie on the ground.

"Fuck you, Morax! I'm hurt!"

Zhongli's eyes widened.

Barbatos was still alive.

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'Ningguang,
how are things going? I heard what happened at the Rite of Descension. The news have reached Mondstadt. It was quite shocking, I pray you're handling everything well. I'm sure you are, but I still hope my words can offer some sort of solace to you.
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´Jean,
Hello , yeah everything is fine now .Im little bit tired from all the hard work . But im feeling better today because my girlfriend is taking me to date picnic
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Hello again, my dear friend!
Today I bless you with another letter from your one and only Jean!
I hope you're doing well.
I am doing just purrrfect! My girlfriend is so sweet and lovely. I wish you could get someone as sweet as her one day. Just not her exactly. She is mine ok
Bye