Chapter Text
The next day, Severus woke up feeling even more exhausted than when he went to sleep. Yesterday, he had received another important news, as well: When Pomfrey examined him, she said he will be fully recovered by next week and can use his wand again – and that meant he could start catching up with the practicals of his courses. Dumbledore, in a bout of ingenuity, decided that Severus may start attending his classes, as well – “as to not fall behind even more!”.
Severus spent the rest of yesterday and night, thinking – dreading – next week. He needed to think about what to tell his housemates, to salvage this situation with Dumbledore as much as possible. If he played his cards well, he can convince them – and their lord – that he was still loyal to the cause and was in a even better position to help. After all, now he was Dumbledore’s ward…. Actually, that was why he needed to consider things carefully. Being Dumbledore’s ward also meant he wasn’t at the bottom of their hierarchy anymore. No, actually it was the complete opposite, because while they were children of powerful pureblood families, Dumbledore’s position as the Chief Warlock in the Wizengamot made him – and thus Severus – a more influential and powerful person. So Severus needed to weight his every action carefully. While he was now above some of his housemates – maybe even most – he shouldn’t behave in a way that would alienate them, in case he can use them later. But at the same time, he needs to put them in their place, so they would know they are below him now.
Another thing he was dreading, was that he was going to have classes with Gryffindors. On the one hand, he still didn’t know how he should behave toward Lily. Should he apologize again and see if there was any chance she would accept it or should he just let bygones be bygones. On the other hand, sharing classes with Gryffindors meant Marauders and just the thought made Severus want to crawl into bed and never wake up.
In any case, as Severus was very lucky, he didn’t even get to dread things one at a time. No, so forget about next week, or even tomorrow. Just the thought that what today had in store for him, made him want to sleep and never wake up: Since tomorrow the ministry officials were coming for casting the spells on him and his confinement officially starts, and since he was going to start attending classes next week, Dumbledore informed him that they were going out today for shopping.
While the activity by itself was not something that Severus was thrilled about, what made it awful was that he needed to take a rest probably every fifteen minutes and even might need Dumbledore’s help. So yes, to say it was not something he looked forward to was an understatement.
With a sigh, he got up and did his mourning routine, then went outside his room and into the shared area. Just as he reached the dining table, his breakfast appeared on the table. Severus sat at the table and had his breakfast alone and in silence, as had become his norm for the past one week and half. When he finished, Tipsy appeared and took away the dishes, not even giving him time to thank him. Not that Severus was exactly in a thankful mood. Then Severus made his way back to his room. As he had rose early, he had a few hours to kill before it was time for them to depart. Severus spent the time trying to remember the name of Slytherins who were in upper years last year. Both who were in seventh year and graduated and those who were in sixth year – and now are in their seventh year. Severus needed to know how the hierarchy in the Slytherin was now, in order to know where he stands and how he should behave. And he needed to know it before he moved into the dorm. That was how he survived five years in Slytherin house and now was not the time to slip up.
He had finished his list and had started another list for the things he needed to buy, when Tipsy appeared and told him that Dumbledore wanted to see him in his office. Taking a look at his rather short list of robes – and maybe shirts and trousers – potion equipments, parchments, quills, and ink, he made his way toward the said office.
This was the first time he was in Dumbledore’s office since that night Black’s attempted murder. True, they surely passed the office when they moved Severus to his room, but at that time he was so deeply in thought that he didn’t even notice. Not that anything would have changed. During the years, Severus had been to headmaster office several times – mostly for punishments, but once to receive the news of his mother death, and once in the first year to ask Dumbledore to stay for the summer – and yet nothing seemed to have changed in it.
Not knowing how to announce his presence – it sounds weird to knock when you want to go out through the only exit in the living area – he just pushed the door open and entered. As usual, Dumbledore was sitting behind his desk writing something on a piece of parchment.
“Ah, Severus, please take a seat.”
“Tipsy said you wanted to see me.” Severus said after a minute of silence. Dumbledore put his quill down and finally looked at Severus.
“Yes, there is something I wanted to discuss with you” He opened a drawer and pulled out something and put it on his desk. It was a big rusty key. Dumbledore pushed it toward Severus and motioned for him to pick it up. Severus picked up the key and looked at Dumbledore for explanation.
“It is the key to the Prince vaults – your vaults. I thought it best to leave it in your hand, as an assurance that I have no intention of touching your inheritance.”
Severus felt wrong footed. While it had been something that he had thought about, he never said a word to Dumbledore. Did Dumbledore read his mind? Or maybe Madam Bones told him? She was the only one Severus ever said anything to. Something must have shown in his expression, because Dumbledore clarified.
“Since that was what your fa– previous guardian did, I wanted you to know that it won’t happen again. Don’t give me that look, Severus. That day in hospital wing you said I would abuse my power over you, do you want to tell me that this was not one of the ways that you thought I would do so?”
Severus arranged his expression and not knowing how exactly to respond to such a statement said. “Thank you,...sir”
Dumbledore smiled and continued. “While you have complete control about how you spend your inheritance, I have to say that I will pay for your expenses till your graduation, including today’s shopping.”
“There is no need for that, since–” Severus started, but Dumbledore cut him off.
“There is. I am your guardian and as your guardian it is my duty to do this. Also, you will receive a monthly allowance until your graduation. This is not up for debate.” Dumbledore said the last part firmly.
Again, Severus didn’t know how to react. He didn’t want to owe anyone anything, lest of all Dumbledore. And now, he didn’t even need Dumbledore’s charity, but what could he say or do?….Madam Bones said that they should use Dumbledore’s support, as long as, it is in his benefit. With the way Dumbledore stated his reason – it is his duty – there would be no way that he could later claim a debt, could he? Although, even if he did, as long as Severus was careful with his spending, he can always just pay him back. With this thought in mind, Severus nodded his acceptance.
“Excellent! Then we should be on our way. Have you written a list of things you need?” Severus nodded again.
“Then please go bring it, as well as your traveling cloak. Also, don’t forget to bring your vault key…. and your potions, as we will spend most of the day out.”
Severus returned to his room to pick up his list from the desk and his traveling cloak, before moving to his bedside table and took several potions that he had to take daily. Coming back, Dumbledore offered to carry his potions for him which Severus refused. Next Dumbledore took Severus’ list and looked at the items. After a moment of silence, he asked. “Is that all you need?”
“Yes, that is all.” Severus said defensively.
Dumbledore hummed in response, before putting the parchment in his pocket and stirred Severus toward fireplace.
“We are going to Floo to the Leaky Cauldron.”
He offered the Floo powder to Severus who took a handful and threw it in the fireplace. A few moment later, Severus exited the fireplace in Leaky Cauldron followed closely by Dumbledore. With a nod toward the owner, they made their way toward Diagon Alley.
Their first destination was Gringotts where Dumbledore withdrew some money from his own vault and they had a meeting with Gryhm, the manager of Prince belongings. Severus proved that he was indeed the Prince heir, by doing an ancestry test. Then they got a list of all properties under the Prince names. Just looking at the list made Severus’ eyes as big as a saucer. While he knew Prince was an old pureblood family name, he never knew they were rich. His housemates did not have much information about Princes. He must have said the last part out loud, because Gryhm replied kindly that it was because his grandparents were powerful, respected, and graceful people who didn’t need to flaunt their power or money, so unless it was necessary, they did not get involved with ridiculous political fights. Severus sat a little straighter at this, feeling proud to be considered as a Prince. When Severus chose the name ‘Half-Blood Prince’ for himself, it was because he wanted to distance himself from his drunk father. It was a childish wish to be a Prince rather than related to a drunk violent man, even if he didn’t know what kind of people Princes were. But to know that his grandparents were respected people made him proud of his heritage. What made it even more prominent was that said grandparents had actually accepted him as the Prince heir.
Then they got a report about the amount of money in the money-exclusive vaults. Apparently, there were two types of Prince vaults, the vaults which had only money and Gryhm kept track of withdrawals and deposits. All the moneys earned from investments went into those vaults. There was a second type of vaults which no one except the lord and lady Prince ever knew what was in them. Severus requested a report of all the withdrawals and deposits of the last two years – since his grandfather’s death. However, he refused to go over Prince investments with Gryhm or visit the private vaults, using the excuse that he was getting tired and they still had a long day ahead, but promised to visit some other time to do them – some time that Dumbledore was not with him. It was bad enough that Severus got the list of his properties with Dumbledore present. Even though he returned the parchment to Gryhm before Dumbledore could take it and read it, he was sure that Dumbledore got to see some of the addresses.
After getting the report – which Severus put in the pocket of his robe to look at it when he was alone – they concluded their business. Exiting the bank, they noticed that it was almost noon, so they went back to Leaky Cauldron for lunch, since Severus needed to take his potions on-time. After lunch, they returned to Diagon Alley where Dumbledore directed Severus toward a small shop in the corner where the whole front view was filled with all types and shapes of clocks. The shop’s name ‘Cloaking Clock’ didn’t give much more explanation about why they were there.
Severus looked at Dumbledore for explanation, but he just motioned for Severus to enter. Inside the shop was not much different than the view: it was a small room filled with old clocks. The only space not filled clocks was a doorway – probably leading to the back room. And that is exactly where Dumbledore led Severus. Entering the second room which was much bigger, Severus noticed that this room was like a living room….filled to the brim with chairs and couches. Seeing the confused expression on Severus face, Dumbledore finally explained. “I thought you might want to get some furniture.”
“But I don’t need anything.”
“Well, I think your room need some furniture. Maybe you can consider getting a warm carpet – the tower floor can become very cold during the winter. The tower is much colder and dryer than Slytherin dormitory. Maybe a couch to put in front of the fireplace, where you can relax.”
While the words were suggestive, Dumbledore’s tone was not. It was clear that they won’t leave until he had gotten something. For a moment Severus wondered why it mattered that tower was cold in winter, when he was returning to his dormitory. But, he pushed the thought aside and said he will look around. He ended up buying two bookshelves, a dark navy carpet – seeing Dumbledore’s expression, Severus defended his choice “It looks warm and comfortable.”, a navy bedcover – at Dumbledore’s insistence to match the carpet – a white Victorian chaise lounge, and – to the surprise of both himself and Dumbledore – a moving painting of autumn scenery of a lake side, where the leaves moved in wind. For some reason, it reminded Severus of his and Lily’s spot in Cokeworth, even though it looked nothing like it; for one, the water near their spot was contaminated, while this one looked clean.
After paying for the furniture and scheduling the delivery. Dumbledore and Severus made their way to the apothecary. Inside, Dumbledore asked for a chair and then to the owner’s surprise, told Severus to sit down, while he, himself was standing. Severus slumped in the chair gratefully, without any protest. It was humiliating, but he was too tired to care right now. Dumbledore ordered the necessary potion ingredients for sixth year and a full set of equipments. This was one of the only times that Severus didn’t have any objection to Dumbledore’s seemingly money wasting. When it mattered, he interjected to say things like ‘No, he didn’t want a lead cauldron, but he would get a copper one’, or ‘he wanted a tin stirrer, as well’, or ‘those shrivelled chinch bug wings didn’t look fresh’, but other than that left things to Dumbledore. After they were done, Dumbledore paid and asked for delivery – for some extra fee, which was a luxury on its own that Severus never experienced before, but still thought was a waste of money as they could carry their items.
Afterwards, they made their way toward Madam Malkin’s to get his school robes, or that was what Severus thought. However, to Severus’ shock and dismay, Dumbledore asked for a full wardrobe set and made Severus get all types of cloths, from underwear and socks, to shirts and trousers, to different sets for winter and summer including jackets, shoes, and boots. He even had to choose some comfortable cloths for home, and some formal robes and dress shirt for events. And the worst part was that Dumbledore wouldn’t let him get everything in white or black, oh no, he insisted that Severus should choose some colored shirts and dressing shirts as well; from different colors.
By the time they were done, it was after 3pm and Severus was ready to either drop dead or kill Dumbledore and then drop dead. He was so done, that this time he didn’t care one bit that Dumbledore payed extra for delivery. He just wanted to get out of there! His exhaustion must have been clear, as without any word Dumbledore started walking toward Leaky Cauldron, expecting Severus to follow. In any other situation, Severus would probably threw a fit because of Dumbledore’s behavior, but right now, he was too tired. In Leaky Cauldron, Dumbledore ordered tea and biscuits for himself and Severus ordered juice – and wasn’t it irritating that he couldn’t even get a Butterbeer? – and then sat in silence. Things didn’t change even after Tom brought their order. On one hand, Severus didn’t want to start a conversation with Dumbledore. On the other hand, unlike when he was with McGonagall, this silence was stifling and uncomfortable. So, after ten minutes of silence, Severus lost his patience, drank the rest of his juice in one breath and told Dumbledore that he was ready to go.
Their next stop was to buy a new trunk, which thankfully was finished quickly. Their next stop was even quicker: Severus’ glare, in response to Dumbledore’s suggestion of making a stop at the pet shop, was so strong that Dumbledore just made his way quickly to the next stop without saying anything. Severus thought maybe Dumbledore saw how close Severus was to make a murder attempt.
Next, they made a stop at Flourish and Blotts. Severus already had his textbooks, but he needed parchment, quill, and ink. He left Dumbledore to handle that part – wanting to get away from him for a few minutes, no, needing to get way from him – and went to browse the shelves.
He passed the shelves, looking at the subjects: History, Herbology, Charms,...Potions. He looked at the book titles, touching the book spines lightly…until a title caught his eyes.
Just the Dead are Unsavable
Advanced Healing Magic for Witches and Wizards
The book was rather thin and small for what it claimed and it was put at the end of the shelf, half hidden behind some bigger books – like someone put it deliberately there for it to not be found. For some reason, Severus felt attracted to the book, but not the way one gets attracted to dark objects. Considering that buying any book – even his textbooks – was a thought that Severus couldn’t even entertain before, Severus decided to buy the book. Dumbledore could hardly complain since it was a book about healing magic.
He made his way back and silently put the book beside their other purchases. Dumbledore picked up the book. Reading the title, he raised a questioning eyebrow at Severus which he answered with a shrug. The shopkeeper took one look at the book and said “Are you sure you want to buy that? The book is both old and very rare, so it is very expensive. Also, it is all written in Latin and from what I have heard from its previous purchaser – who returned book to get his money back – it does not even explains the concepts or instructions well.”
Dumbledore and Severus shared a look, then Severus said. “Yes, we will take it. It says it is advanced magic, so obviously not every dunderhead would understand the concepts.” ‘but as I’m not a dunderhead I will understand’ went unsaid, but both adults heard it. The adults exchanged a look not knowing how to respond to such a statement, before Dumbledore cleared his throat and said.
“Yes, we will take the book, as well.”
By paying and shrinking their stuff, they concluded their shopping and Severus breathed a sigh of relief. Afterwards, they made their way toward Leaky Cauldron and from there Flooed back to Hogwarts. Severus was so tired that he, after a quick change of cloths, went directly to bed.
~~oOo~~
Minerva sat back in her chair, having finished the last marking of sixth years assignments. It took her longer than usual, as her thoughts kept straying away. She opened one the drawers of her desk and brought out Severus’ latest assignment. It was well-written. He clearly had studied the references she brought him and used them to write a comprehensive answer to the question she had asked. Minerva was wondering why she had never noticed it before; that despite his struggles during her class, his assignments were always well-written. It was clear how much thought and effort has been put into them. Minerva, after all these years of teaching, could easily distinguish between a hastily and careless written assignment and something that is well-organized. So, why she had not noticed before? Was she so biased against him that she would not see something so obvious?
In any case, things would be different from now on, she decided. Not only in regard to Severus, but also for all other students. After what happened, Minerva revised her teaching strategies and her marking schemes with consideration to students in all years who were trying hard, but for some reason were struggling. She planned to meet with some of those students personally, in order to come up with a solution to help them.
As for Severus, she had already covered some of the materials from the previous years which she knew he had problem understanding. During their meetings, Minerva came to appreciate Severus as a student. It was clear that he was grieving, and was struggling with his current situation, but Minerva could see how hard he was trying to focus during their meetings, and to learn the material. Another thing was how well he was managing being cooped up in a set of rooms, without any company. In all the years that she taught at Hogwarts, she never saw a teenager who could handle confinement so well. At first, Minerva was concerned about leaving him alone and unsupervised for almost the whole day. It was this concern – and a great amount of pity – that lead her to invite Severus to have tea with her. However, soon enough she came to appreciate and even enjoy the time they spent together.
Severus was not an open or cheery person. That was a fact. However, once you accepted that fact and approached him without any such unreasonable expectations, then you would be able to see what an interesting person he was. Severus was not a chit-chat person – probably because his situation made him grow up too fast. This meant that a lot of topics of interest for general teenagers had no appeal for him – which was probably why he was an outcast at school. What Minerva found out during their tea time was that, once a topic of interest came up, Severus was actually a talkative person. He talked with passion about his understanding of a concept or a rule. He was witty and had an interesting sense of humor (dry, dark, with a touch of gallows humor). On one occasion, she saw a mischievous side of him which she was not aware even existed. She even managed to make him smile – and she was proud of herself for that – even if it was at Albus’ expenses.
So her times with Severus soon turned to one of her favorite pastimes, and it was something that she intended to continue, even when Severus returned to class.
~~oOo~~
The second week of November was halfway gone and Lily still had not made up her mind. She had been thinking about visiting Severus for the last a few days, but could not bring herself to actually do it. Her mind was in a turmoil. One part of her mind told her that she needs more time to think: it was true, the more she thought about things, the less prepared she felt. Another part of her mind, called it cowardice and said that it has nothing to do with thinking: It was also true. It turns out Lily was not as brave as she thought – another belief about herself that shattered – as she could not face Severus again. Another part of her mind supplied that even if she needs time to think, she cannot do it infinitely – why not? If it meant not facing Severus – and that at some point she needs to face her problem – was Severus the problem? Or the problem was facing Severus?
And to make it worse, there was a part of her which said why should she go and make amends? She knew she cared for Severus, so she should do what was best for him. Was reconciling with him, the best for him or it was just what she wanted? Did she even deserve to initiate something like that? Why should they become friends again? It was true that a lot of things has changed, but a lot of them has not changed: Severus was still a Slytherin and she a Gryffindor. After returning to classes, Severus was going to spend time with his housemates and she still needed to defend her decision of being friends with him again. Severus was going to fight with James and others again and she…what was she supposed to do? Because yes, now she could admit to herself that she was attracted to James, but his fights with Severus made everything more complicated.
See...that was one of the reasons that she ended things with Severus: it was complicated. Just like everything else, James and Severus were total opposite of each other: Liking James…was easy. He was open, charming, and cheerful and he expressed his feelings openly – especially his feelings toward her, as he once stood on a table in the Gryffindor common rooms to read her a poem! He was good looking, athletic, and he was from a respectable family. James was the type of man you could take home to introduce to your parents. And most importantly, she didn’t need to explain herself to anyone for liking him. She didn’t need to defend her choice to her girlfriends – they even encouraged her to go out with James. She could have everything at the same time; be happy and make everyone happy.
Severus, on the other hand….it was complicated. He was funny, frighteningly intelligent, sweet and caring and….the most infuriating person Lily has ever seen in her life! He was like a closed book. Tight lipped about himself and his problems, and even more tight lipped about his emotions! You had a higher chance of pulling teeth with bare hands than getting something out of Severus when he didn’t want to talk! The most emotions she saw him express was anger and hate….toward James and his friends. He was from – what the neighbours called – the wrong side of Cockworth. And most importantly having him and her other friends at the same time in her life seemed to be impossible. So, while she knew she wanted to have Severus in her life, she was not sure whether she could handle everything that came with it. What if they resumed their friendship and she, under the pressure from her friends and tired from Severus’ moody behavior, made a mess again and hurt both herself and Severus, again? Wouldn’t it be better to just let things be? To let it end here?
In the end it was the Lady – Helga, her name is Helga – who came to her rescue by asking one simple question: “What does Severus think?” and suddenly Lily understood what a big mistake she was making. Here she was deciding alone about a relationship without asking about what the other side was thinking. Does Severus even want to be friends with her again? Now, she knew what she needed to do. Prepared or not, she was going to talk to Severus. She will tell him the situation and see what Severus thought. Whatever they decide, they need to decide it together.
With that thought in mind, she made her way toward the headmaster’s office the first chance she got. Since she was a perfect, she had access to headmaster office’s password, so saying the password, she made her way up and knocked on the door. When Dumbledore saw who his visitor was, he asked. “Miss. Evans, what brings you here? Is there something wrong.”
“I need to see Severus.” Seeing Dumbledore’s expression, she continued, not giving the headmaster a chance. “I know that he probably doesn’t want to see me, but I need to see him and talk to him. It is very important.”
Dumbledore raised his hand to stop her. “I understand and I really don’t think that Severus would be averse to seeing you, but he is currently meeting Professor Flitwick about his Charms course work.”
“Oh...then can I see him…” she thought about her schedule trying to find a time that she was free – from classes, homework, and perfect duties “On Thursday morning or Friday evening?”
“He has course work on Thursday morning, but his Friday evening is free. So I think he can meet you then.”
Lily thought it was a little odd that Dumbledore did not ask Severus that whether he wanted to meet her or not, but said nothing – What could have she said? So, instead she thanked the headmaster and made her way out, thinking about what she should say to Severus and how she should go about it.
~~oOo~~
Dumbledore sat back in his chair with a satisfied air. Everything was going well. He was planning to arrange a reunion between the two friends, but he had decided to wait until Severus returned to his classes. However, it was a good thing that Miss. Evans took the first step. It would mean less work for him. If their meeting does not go well this time, as well, then Dumbledore would step in to help them. However, if everything goes well, then he needs to be prepared for the next step. After all, if he wanted to change Severus’ mind about joining Tom, then he needs to replace the Slytherins around him with other people more aligned with the light side. People who would help Severus change his alliance and support him in that road. Miss. Evans was one such a person, but she, alone, was not enough to change Severus from his path, as it was clear from the events of the last a few years.
So, yes, he will keep an eye out on the result of Friday meeting of Severus and Miss. Evans. But he also will think about suitable people for befriending Severus and set the stage.