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Chapter Text

Tension in the Hospital Wing was high. The Mediwitch was casting spells in a desperate measure in the hope that the patient react well to one of them. Two other adult were watching the scene while glancing at each other from time to time. However, a gasp and a sound of something hitting the floor turned everyone's attention from the limp form on the bed. Three adult turned toward the intruder sharply while the teenager in the next bed, behind curtains was wondering if the voice belongs to the person he thought it was?

~oOo~

Lily Evans couldn't believe what she was seeing. All she thought was to sneak in the hospital, check on James (Yes, he was James for her; at least it was James in her mind) and deliver his favorite food she had picked up from Great Hall, and then go to common room and spend a good evening there. However, the scene that greeted her was even beyond her imagination.

She was so shocked that she didn't even know that she had made a noise or that the food that she brought with was spilled all over the floor. She didn't even notice three adults were now gazing at her with shocked or angry faces. All she saw was her former friend, bloody and filthy lying on the hospital bed.

After several second of stillness, Poppy Pomfrey pulled herself out of her shock and immediately drew the sheets up to her patient's chin to hide all the sights, but even that wasn't enough because the sheet start to turn red and it didn't hide the red stains on the floor and the bed. Lily didn't notice even that because the image of Severus' broken body was still fresh in her mind.

Poppy cleared her throat to bring everyone out of their shocked state. "What are you doing here, Miss. Evans?" she asked a little sharply, but not unkindly.

Lily blinked once, twice, and then in a low voice said "What happened?"

'It isn't happening! It can't happen!' It was all Lily could think of. She thought that Severus should be with his dark friends planning, hurting others, and laughing, but the thought of him on his death bed wasn't something she thought was possible. Then a thought crossed her mind. Did he get injured in a duel or a fight; a fight in which he and his friends were hurting someone? This thought made her frown and made her eyes flash with anger.

'Of course he got injured in a duel when he was doing God knows what!' She thought with herself. A timid voice in the back of her head said that maybe she was wrong and some other thing had happened, but she pushed that thought aside. He wasn't her friend any more. 'If he was ever her friend in the first place!' Another voice whispered in her head. 'Perhaps he was just using you all these years!' Lily found herself agreeing with it. 'And exactly what has he gained from using you?' The first timid voice asked. 'It is not a time to fight with myself' she thought with a sigh that fortunately shut both of the voices up.

After a moment of silence in her mind, Lily continued where she left up. 'He is a Death Eater in training and he surely deserved what he got!' she had a feeling that it wasn't right, but she ignored it. "It doesn't matter! Wherever he got those wounds, he deserved it. I don't even care if he dies, because he is a Death Eater wannabe." She muttered loud enough for everyone in the Hospital to hear, perhaps in the hopes that saying it aloud will make it true. She nodded to herself satisfied with her thought, and then turned on her heels and left the hospital wing, her mission forgotten.

At Lily words, James shuddered. Perhaps because he knew the truth, but whatever it was he felt sorry about Snape. Wait, he didn't even like Snape! And he thought that the slimy Death Eater deserved everything he got! Well…. at least he deserved what he got from them, the Marauders! Because he is still a slimy Slytherin who wanted to be a Death Eater!

'Don't delude yourself! You are not that much different from the Death Eaters; the real ones, not people like Snape because he is not one of them! He just fought with you because you started it first and even when he started it, he was just getting back at you for something you had done! He never hurt anyone except with his words he always said when he was with his friends'

'Even if it was true and he never hurt anyone; he didn't stop them either!' James said back in his head to that voice.

'Well, for one, Remus didn't do anything when you hurt him and other people! Does this mean that Remus is a Death Eater, too? Let's not forget that Remus is a Prefect and he should actually do something about your pranks! Furthermore, didn't you hear what Dumbledore just said? He's had to deal with his housemates already! Even if he didn't have to deal with them, he still had to sleep in same dormitory as them, and if Slytherins are as nasty as you claim them to be, then they could have done everything they wanted to him and who would have backed him up? You? Dumbledore?
Or his father who is the reason behind him being in the next bed?'

James did not have an answer so he decided to just ignore the voice. He didn't know where that treacherous thought has come from; Accusing Remus and sympathizing with Snape! James shook his head and tried to think about what he was thinking before that voice had interrupted it. He didn't like the Slytherin boy and thought that he had deserved and still deserved whatever James and his friends did to him, but the way Lily said it was wrong! James didn't know why, but every time he thought about her words, a chill would go down his spine. Perhaps because he didn't think that the kind Lily Evans, with fire hair and green eyes, could wish another being harm. Let alone wishing for their death and Snape at that. Yes, the boy had insulted her in the worst way possible and he didn't deserve being friends with Evans in the first place, but she had been his friend for at least five years and defended him left and right, and in front of everyone no less! And that was Snape’s first mistake toward Evans; he never bad mouthed her or anyone in front of her! So why the sudden change?

James' thoughts were interrupted by Dumbledore's voice from other side of curtains. "No, Minerva! Let me speak to her," Albus said calmly.

Minerva sighed. "Alright, but make sure she understands, Albus! If Severus does come back, he'll need as many people as possible to help him and those people aren't many to start with." She said softly. Albus nodded and turned toward the hospital doors.

~oOo~

Albus Dumbledore didn't usually question his actions, but sometimes he found himself doing it. And recently most of those times and actions involved a certain boy named Severus Snape. He'd always marked him as an arrogant, selfish, spoiled brat that always tried to get attention of others, in a bad way! Albus always saw him as a prejudiced Slytherin that will be one of the first people who will join Tom Riddle. Of course there were signs such as his blood status, but Albus told himself that he wouldn't be fooled with those things as the children with one pureblood parent from families such as the Princes and Malfoys are as prejudiced as the rest of them. Tom, himself, was the perfect example. But how wrong he was. Albus was sure that Tom would not have minded marking half-bloods as his as long as they had been useful for him. And Albus always thought Severus would have been an excellent asset to his collection because he was talented and eager! Eager to hurt people because why else would a boy his age know such long list of curses. The boy surely enjoyed hurting people. Well, it was what he thought until recently, but not anymore! He sighed. Actually, he couldn't have been more wrong. Where he saw a sadistic boy who learned curses to hurt others, there was actually a hurt boy who learned curses to defend himself. Early on Dumbledore put him among people who couldn't be saved and decided that punishing him, not helping him, or telling others what he, the great Albus Dumbledore thinks of him, is the best of course of action. He thought this way he could put his energy into saving those who were not yet in Tom's league (unlike Severus!). He hoped that by distancing himself from students like Severus, others would reconsider joining Tom Riddle.

But now he knew better; the one who needs saving was Severus.

He sighed again. It wasn't solving anything. Soon he would reach Miss Evans and he hoped that it wasn't too late. That people would be able to change their view of Severus and see him as the boy he was without them having to put every aspect of his life on screen. He knew if Severus did wake up and decided not to join the Death Eaters – which was Albus’ new goal to achieve and he always achieved what he wanted – then he would have a harder time than before, and he would need as much support as he could get. However, he knew that if Severus did wake up, and they allow his secret to be known to everyone, then there would be no chance of him trusting Albus. Speaking of trust; he had some plans for Severus, but he had to find a way to buy the boy's trust first.

His thoughts were interrupted when he turned a corner and saw a red head at the end of corridor. He shook his head and quickened his pace. When he reached a short distance from her, he called her name softly. In the silence of the corridor she heard it clearly, stopped, and her body went rigid. She slowly turned and spoke, her eyes on the floor. "I'm sorry, Headmaster. I was just upset and the words just slipped out my mouth"

"It is alright, Miss. Evans. I just wanted to speak a little with you, if you have some time." Dumbledore said gently all the while smiling.

"Um …Yes, I have time" Lily answered hesitantly.

"So let's go somewhere more comfortable and …private" Dumbledore suggested while turning back to the way they had come and went towards nearest staircase.

Lily followed him, lost in her thoughts. She couldn't imagine what the headmaster wanted to talk about with her. All the possible scenarios went through her mind and before she realized it, they were in front of gargoyle which jumped aside without any word being exchanged.

Chapter Text

Lily felt nervous as she followed the headmaster up the stairs and into his office. Dumbledore sat in his chair and Lily after closing the door joined him, sitting in a chair in front of the headmaster's desk. There was silence as Dumbledore gazed intensely at Lily, which made her squirm in her seat. Then abruptly he asked, "May I ask what you were doing in the Hospital Wing at this hour?"

"I ...um …I went to Hospital Wing to deliver Potter his food as his friend asked me!" She blurted out the first thing that came to her mind. It wasn't the complete truth, but it wasn't far from it either. Sirius and Remus were speaking aloud about James' favorite food and how bad that they can't deliver it to him. Apparently, Sirius and Peter were in detention with Filch, Remus had prefect duty and had to report to McGonagall. They also talked aloud about how good it would have been if one of their housemates did it. They were throwing side glances at her all the while to see her reaction when they thought she was not looking. It was obvious that they wanted her to do it, but in the end, it was her decision to do it. However, she won't admit that to herself let alone the headmaster even if her life depended on it.

"It was kind of you to do that," the headmaster's voice startled her and brought her out of her musing.

"About what happened in Hospital Wing …"

"I told you, Headmaster, it just slipped …" Lily started to say, but seeing Dumbledore's raised hand, her voice trailed off.

"As I've already said, it is alright, but I wanted to ask what do you think about what you saw?" At Lily's puzzled look he elaborated "What I mean is that considering your comment and yes, I know it was unintentional, but I want to know what you think might have happened to Severus?"

"It was clear that he had brought it upon himself. He and his friends were probably up to no good, fought a duel, and ended up like this," she said in a 'matter of fact' tone in a low voice, but both she and Dumbledore noticed the doubt that marred her tone.

"So you think Severus is one the supporters of the man who calls himself Lord Voldemort?"

Lily suppressed a shudder at the name. She was getting confused as she didn't understand where the headmaster was going with that line of questioning, but she answered them nonetheless.

"Of course he is! Everyone say that he is and it is really obvious. He is the member of that group of Slytherins who always hurt and mock other students, especially the younger ones!"

"Everyone?" Dumbledore nodded absentmindedly and asked, "Do you think the same thing? I've heard that you knew him from before Hogwarts and you were his friend, but the members of this group don't seem friendly to Muggleborns. How is it possible for him to befriend people who are not good to his friend from before Hogwarts?"

"Yes, I know him from before, but he is not my friend anymore"

"May I ask why?"

"He changed. He wasn't the same person when he started to hang out with the other Slytherins. My friends have told me for years that I should not continue our friendship, but I didn't listen. However, in the end they were right and I could only make excuses for him so much. I found out my friends were right the hard way." Lily said with mixed emotion filling her voice. Her head was bowed, her eyes were distant, and she was playing with edge of her robes.

"What changed your mind? What was the hard way that you found out Severus is one of them?"

"He insulted me," Lily said simply and sharply, any sympathy that was in her voice a moment ago, evaporated.

If this wasn't what Dumbledore expected, he showed no sign of surprise. "May I ask you how he insulted you?" Dumbledore inquired.

Lily shook her head a little and said "It doesn't matter! As I said it was not the only obstacle between us. Our ways were different from the start and he cared about his Slytherins friends more than he cared about our friendship! I was a fool and made excuses for years to my friends to remain friends with him, but he didn't care enough to keep our friendship!"

'I beg to differ. I at least know that he cared enough for your friendship that it was the only thing that gave him motivation to live after his mother death. He cared enough that after losing you, he tried to take his own life,' Dumbledore thought. 'And from the way you are talking, my girl, I think you had decided long ago to sacrifice your friendship with Severus for your friends in your house. I know as a matter of fact that the Slytherins tried to discourage Severus from befriending people with less blood status and now Gryffindors are trying to do the same, but with different reasoning. It is like everyone was trying to separate these two. Was this just house rivalry? If so then it was getting out of hand. A voice in the back of Albus' mind started to speak. 'It is your fault –' but before the voice managed to finish the sentence, Albus pushed it and all the other thoughts behind his shield to process later. 'I have a conversation to finish,' he reminded himself. Now, thinking of it, he decided it would be better if they continued their conversation at another time. It was getting late and Lily Evans didn't seem to be the type to be convinced anytime soon.

"That will be all Miss Evans. I have to ask you to not tell anyone of what you saw in the Hospital Wing or the talk we had."

Lily couldn't understand what was going on. Dumbledore brought her to his office, interrogated her, and now is dismissing her. She stood up while trying to make sense of her talk with the headmaster and what she saw in the hospital wing when Dumbledore's last request tugged her mind to attention. She narrowed her eyes and looked at Dumbledore. What did he have in his mind? Doesn't he want to punish Snape and his friends? It was not like they said anything important or that she saw anything special in the hospital wing anyway. Why did Dumbledore ask her to remain silent? What was he playing at? Why would Dumbledore want to cover for them, especially after what they had done to others? Mary for example.

Lily realized she'd spoken the last question aloud when she saw the change to Dumbledore's demeanor. Then with Gryffindor courage which was nonexistent a second before she continued, "I mean …you are among people who fight Death Eaters! Why are you supporting them?" She asked.

"I assure you Miss. Evans that I'm not covering for anyone's actions. What happened to Severus has nothing to do with what you think has happened, namely Death Eaters and their activities." Dumbledore said calmly, his voice firm unlike the gentle one he was speaking in before.

"Then what happened to him?" Asked Lily with a look of doubt or was that fear on her face, while her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

Dumbledore looked at her for several second then said "It is late; you should go back to your dormitory and sleep"

"What? You really think I can sleep with this situation? I won't be able to sleep till I know what happened to him!" Her voice raised an octave at the end of her speech."

Dumbledore sighed. "Even if we don't consider the hour, I'm not sure how much I can tell you as it is a confidential matter. I suggest you to go back to your dormitory and ask Severus when he awakens."

"I can't wait till morning, and even if I could; I still couldn't ask him as we are not on speaking terms anymore!" Lily said.

"You mean the time he insulted you was the last time you spoke?" Dumbledore asked with a look that made Lily think he already knew the answer.

"Yes ...no, he came to Gryffindor tower and we spoke. He apologized and explained. I told him that I can't be his friend anymore and he went." Lily felt bad since it was the second time she hadn't told the truth. However, with the way Dumbledore was looking at her, she just couldn't say that they argued that night.

"I see," was all Dumbledore said. Lily was a really bad liar, Dumbledore found that out then and there, but he decided to not comment on it or the fact that she lied to his face.

Lily wanted to leave as soon as possible, but she admitted that her curiosity was peaked. She was curious about Dumbledore's strange behavior and questions about what had really happened to Severus. She told herself again and again that she didn't care and it was just curiosity why she wanted to know about Severus' predicament. If Severus' condition had nothing to do with his Death Eaters friends then what? Suddenly a thought came to her mind.

"Did Marauders do that to him? Is that why they are in detention? Or did Severus go into Forbidden Forest and forest's creatures attacked him? Or Perhaps …"

Albus sighed and raised his hand to silence the student in front of him. He knew then and there that this girl wouldn't go without having answers and even if he denied her the answers she sought then she'll start speculating about the situation and by the look of it, they are getting wilder and stranger. He wanted to tell her, but he had to be careful about his words. He needed to buy Lily's sympathy towards Severus, but he also needed to earn the trust of Severus as well for his plan to work. He knew that Severus didn't trust him – he really hadn't given him any reason to do so. If Severus' secret reached unwanted ears then he would never trust Dumbledore. Therefore, he had to be careful how much he is going to tell her and how he is doing so. More importantly, he had to make sure that Lily won't spill one word of this to anyone, regardless of her reaction to the news or her decision on whether to reconcile with Severus or not. With that in mind Dumbledore started to speak. "No, what put Severus in this predicament happened outside of Hogwarts." When he saw that she was going to ask more question, he continued. "No, Severus didn't exit school ground because he was not here in the first place when it happened!" He said cryptically.

"What do you mean?" Lily asked confused.

"You said you knew Severus from before school. What do you know from his home life?"

"Excuse me professor, but what does this have to do with what happened to Severus?"

"We'll cover that subject as well, but now if you don't mind answering my questions. What do you know of his home life?"

"Well ...his father worked in the Mills and his mother was mostly home. Their financial condition was not good. Um ...I have heard rumors that his father drank and that the sounds of arguing, shouting and screaming can be heard from their house."

"Has no one called local authorities?" Dumbledore asked.

"Spinner's End is a creepy area. It is normal to hear such thing from the houses there."

"What had Severus told you?" Dumbledore asked already having a good idea of what the answer would be.

"Um ...Not much, he didn't like to speak of his home. He said that his parents usually argue and that sometimes he's not permitted to go to park and play and had to stay home to help his mother. He said his father doesn't like magic or anything, much. He never told me his address; he always insisted that we should meet at the park near our homes. He told me to wait for him for half an hour and if he didn't came by that time I should go back because it is one of his indoors days. That's all I know. Now can you tell me what this has to do with anything or why you just asked questions from the moment we came into your office and what really happened to Severus?" Lily told him everything she knew. She was tired of all of these questions and Dumbledore talking in riddles and beating around the bush. She didn't understand what he is hiding or why or the reason behind so many questions!

Dumbledore sighed. 'So he hadn't even told his best friend! And here he had expected Severus to go to an adult for help! His explanations were wonderful, half truths that their validity can't be investigated. His parent arguing and him staying indoor to help his mother.

"I'm sorry about questions, but we are getting there. Did Severus tell you about his father ever hurting him?"

Lily narrowed her eyes "I once asked him if his father hurt him. He said that whenever his father want to hurt him, his mother protected him and that they usually argued after such occasion. Are you trying to tell me that Severus' father did that to him?" She asked incredulously.

"Yes ...today we found out that Severus hadn't come to Hogwarts this year without any prior notification. Professor McGonagall and I investigated and found him in his home in the condition you saw him."

Lily's eyes were as wide as a saucer. "His father?" She muttered under her breath. "But what about his mother? Didn't she do anything? Why did it take one month for someone to notice that Severus hadn't come to school?" She asked her voice rising as she went on.

Dumbledore knew he shouldn't be surprised that Severus hadn't told her, but he was. "His mother passed away near the end of last term. He didn't tell you, I take it?"

Lily's legs became shaky and she sat down on her chair again. "No, he didn't," she murmured. Whatever reasons she thought had been behind Severus' condition, weren't true! 'Oh, it must have been very hard for Severus. His mother was one of the only people who Severus loved very much; her death must have been hard!' she thought.

'He was grieving and those Marauders were pranking him left and right and instead of sticking by his side, comforting and helping him, you left him!' That nagging voice said in the back of her mind.

'Well, it still isn't a good reason for saying what he said. In case you have forgotten, I was trying to help!' Lily said to in answer to the voice.

'Put yourself in his shoes, he must have been really upset. I'm not making excuses for what he did. All I'm saying is that you always knew Severus had a temper and they humiliated him in front of half of school. He just lost control. You would have lashed out too, wouldn't you?'

'Well, how was I supposed to know he was that upset about everything? He didn't tell me anything!' Lily said indignantly.

'There was no need for him to tell you he was upset about all the pranks Marauders pull on him, it was obvious! And about his mother's death, did he really have time to tell you? How much time did you spend with him last year? Were you away from your friends enough for him to speak with you? You always knew Severus rarely spoke about his parents and his home life! I don't think he would have approached you even if he had the opportunity! What did you expect him to do? To walk up to you and your friends, tell you his mother has died, and ask for your comfort?'

Lily didn't have an answer to that, but she wasn't going to back down. 'But it still doesn't account for being friends with those –' Lily suddenly noticed the ridiculousness of situation. She was arguing with herself and was trying to win the fight. 'Well, the last thing I need now is to be admitted to St. Mungo's mental ward.'

A hand on her shoulders made her jump. She turned her head and saw it was headmaster and he was looking at her with a kind look and his lips were moving. 'When did headmaster came to this side of desk? What is he saying?' Lily shook her head to clear it and concentrated on Dumbledore's words.

"...ly! Lily! Are you alright?"

"Yes ...yes, I'm fine. Can I go?"

Before Dumbledore answered her, the fireplace flared to life and McGonagall stepped out. After she cleaned her clothes of soot, she raised her head and looked surprised at seeing Lily there.

"Headmaster, it is well after curfew! What is Miss. Evans still doing here?" She asked.

"I'm sorry Minerva; our discussion took longer than I anticipated. Actually, Miss Evans was going back to her dormitory. Did you need to talk about something with me?" Dumbledore said calmly.

McGonagall looked from Dumbledore to Lily and back to Dumbledore, a look of uncertainty on her face, but with a nod from Dumbledore she said. "He stopped fighting the potions miraculously and now he is stable. But Poppy said there will be some complications and asked me to tell you go to Hospital Wing as soon as you can. I'll escort Miss. Evans to her dormitory and join you."

There was no need to guess who she was talking about. Lily sighed inaudibly. No matter what she said, she didn't want Severus to die, especially now when she knew he hadn't done anything to deserve what he got. She looked to Dumbledore for permission to go and at seeing his nod, she stood. There was a lot of things she had to think about so she doubted that sleep would come that night.

When she was near the door with McGonagall's hand on her shoulder, Dumbledore called her back.

"I still have to ask you to promise that you won't share anything that's happened with anyone even Severus himself – should you choose to speak with him again."

"Um ...Yes, Of course, I promise I won't," she said and then turned and walked out of door with a pensive look on her face.

Dumbledore sighed. "I hope everything turn out well," he said as he stood and made his way towards the fireplace. Fawkes started to sing a sad melody from his perch.

Chapter Text

After headmaster's exit, the healing chambers become silent except a sound of clinking vials. James was brought out of his thoughts by Professor McGonagall's voice. "What is it?"

"He's stopped fighting my spells and potions." Matron said worryingly.

"Oh, Thank Merlin! Now you can heal him." There was a moment of silence. "Poppy, it is a good sign, isn't it? If so then why do you seem even more worried?"

"I don't know why he stopped; It it could be a sign that he has went too far and doesn't even have the will to fight me anymore. In that case I don't think I can do anything more for him!"

"Let's try to save him now. If that isn't the case then we are wasting precious time worrying for naught and we may even really lose him while we could use that time to save him!"

"Yes …yes, you are right!"

After that they worked in complete silence. The only noises that could be heard were the sounds of shuffling feet and clicking of vials against one another.

James didn't know what to think anymore. He didn't know what to make of his archenemy's condition; didn't know what to feel about the other boy's possible death. Should he be happy? Was what he said last term about the problem being Snape's existence true? Did he really wish the death of another person?

He knew as a matter of fact, he would miss the best victim of their pranks and would be sad that he is dead and they can't pull more pranks on him, but was that the extent of his feeling for the Snape boy? A teenager his age, a classmate, a human! 'He is Snape for Merlin's sake! Why should I feel anything else?' He didn't know anymore whether he really feels no sympathy for Snape or he does feel sympathy, but is in denial!

"He is stable for now," said Madam Pomfrey.

"Poppy, will he make a full recovery?"

"I don't know. He will have to wake up for me to be able to tell how much damage he sustained. However, even in the case that he wakes up and has no permanent damage; I'm afraid there still will be some complications in regards to his recovery."

"Complications? What sort of complications?"

"Can you call Albus, while I clean up here? I prefer to explain it once and he will have to be informed. Wait in my office when you came back. I'll come shortly."

"OK, are you sure you don't want my help here?"

"No, but thank you, Minerva"

There was sound of footsteps moving away and after that, there was just sound of rustling sheets and vials clicking. After few minutes there was complete silence and then there was whispering. James strained his ears to hear what is being said and just understood the last part.

"...rest well, Severus, we've got you."

After that James heard the sound of Matron's footsteps moving away from the bed, of curtains being closed, and her footsteps quickly fading as Madam Pomfrey went towards her office. James was irritated.

He wanted to know about the complications of Snape's recovery and to hear the adults discussing it; it was just curiosity or so he told himself.

There was another reason that he didn't wanted the adults to move to the nurse's office; it meant that he would be left alone with his conflicting emotions and disordered thoughts which he didn't like at all. It was then that James knew for sure he wasn't going to get any sleep that night. He lay in his bed quietly and listened to the soft and shallow breathing of the boy behind the curtain. The dam of his thoughts broke and he spent the rest of the night in a storm of swirling emotions.

~oOo~

When Albus came out of floo network in nurse's office, he found Minerva and Poppy seated, sipping tea with a dish of biscuit on the table between them. He joined them and soon had a cup in his hand. After several minutes of companionable silence, Albus put his tea cup down and cleared his throat.

"Minerva said there are some complications in regard to Severus' condition."

Poppy sighed. "Yes ...first, there is the possibility that Severus may never wake up. He has had several concussions and though I didn't find any bleeding in his brain, it doesn't mean that there is no damage. I gave him some basic healing potions for possible damage to brain, but if the damage exceeds some limitation, then a basic potion won't heal them. In these cases, the details of ailment should be determined which as it is brain we are speaking is hard or even impossible. After that the symptoms should be analyzed, so a cure could be found. The number of cases that a cure was found and worked can be counted with one hand. Also, there is the matter of his spine; it was damaged and though I managed to heal it completely; I don't know if the damage to his nerves has been healed. For all I know he could be paralyzed from waist down."

"So what you are trying to say is that the chance of Severus healing is low?" Minerva asked.

"No, I'm saying the chance of Severus making a full recovery is almost zero; that even if Severus has no lasting nerve damage in his brain or spine, he'll have other permanent damage. After all these years, the abuse has taken its toll on his immune system so he'll have a weaker immune system in comparison to others. In addition his body is malnourished, his muscles are weak from lack of food and activity these past months, and he is going to have problem with keeping down anything. And all of these are beside the mental state he is going to be after three months in that hell!"

"This means that …"

"This means that we are facing a problem! Severus is going to need help for his daily routines as his body is weak and he also need lots of therapy and support from an adult he trusts as he is the kind of boy who won't accept help from anyone. The only adult he trusted was his mother who is dead! Who is going to take care of him? I personally don't have a problem with taking care of him, but I don't think he will let me to do it. Also, I don't think he would like to stay in Hospital Wing where students can see him in this situation. There might also be some problem with the Ministry about keeping him here; umm ...actually now that I think about it, with his condition the Ministry is going to leave him in a hospital and when he's finished his therapy, he'll be placed in an orphanage as he doesn't have a magical guardian anymore."

"More like leaving him in an orphanage in first place!" Minerva muttered grimly.

Dumbledore sighed and after several moments of silence said "We have time….we'll think of something."

~oOo~

The second morning since the whole 'Snape incident' as James had started to call it in his mind; James got permission from Madam Pomfrey to leave Hospital Wing. He put his clothes on and put the hospital gown on the bed. Before going out of the Infirmary, he made his way toward the opening in curtains around the next bed. He took a look at Madam Pomfrey's office and made sure that she is busy then slowly pushed the curtain aside and went inside.

He was tired; he hadn't slept last night or the night before. The first night they brought Snape in, he couldn't sleep even after Madam Pomfrey announced Snape stable and McGonagall went to inform the Headmaster. He couldn't put the thought of Snape out of his mind. He was in conflict with himself and it caused sleep to elude him. The next morning and night wasn't any different. He spent them in a daze. He could hardly remember a word of what his friends said during their visit the day before.

The problem was that he didn't know what to think; he still thought Snape was a nasty, greasy git. Some of the pranks he played on them were really bad. However, he was thinking now that perhaps the way they treated him wasn't very good either. Not that he hadn't deserved it, but if what Dumbledore said about him not getting along with other Slytherins then ...well, he didn't know what to think anymore. Perhaps that was the reason he was standing there staring at his unconscious archenemy's still form. Perhaps, he hoped by staring at Snape long enough, he'll find the answers.

Snape's face was as white as the pillow he was lying on and his black hair was like splashed ink on the whiteness of the sheets around it. His breathes were shallow as if he didn't have the energy to take deeper breathes. It made something in him stir. He still didn't know what to think about all of this. He still didn't like Snape, but perhaps they could let up some on Snape and instead focus most of their pranks on other Slytherins like that cruel boy, Mulciber who attacked Mary. Of course, they would still play pranks on Snape, because there was a reason he was their favorite victim, but they could reduce the number of their pranks and spend their ideas on others. He nodded his head thinking it was a good idea and he should share it with his friends.

After that he sneaked quickly out of Hospital wing before Madam Pomfrey saw him. Because considering the history he shared with the boy lying there, he thought it is better to not get caught anywhere near him.

Chapter Text

It was the morning of third day since Severus Snape was admitted in Hospital Wing of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Albus Dumbledore, the current headmaster of school, was sitting behind his desk in his office, looking out the window at the scene below. There was a pile of parchment on his desk that he should read and respond to, but he couldn't concentrate on them. Instead he was looking at the lake which reflected the sun's rays, his mind on a certain boy, thinking about what Poppy Pomfrey had said. He wanted to fill the role of the adult Severus needed, but the problem was that Severus didn't trust him. It wasn't the boy's fault, no, not only had he not done anything for Severus to trust him, but also he had given every reason he needed to not trust him. When he thought about all the situations regarding Severus, he saw how many grave mistakes he has made; especially the Whomping Willow incident; he should have handled things better.

After he thought about the incident, he poured his memories into his Pensieve and went through them several times and he realized how it must look to Severus; that he didn't care one bit about Severus' life. How he wished he had acted differently that night or at least talked to Severus about what happened; to reassure him that he cared about his life and that he knows what Sirius did was wrong, but he couldn't do anything because of Remus. His musings were interrupted by a knocking sound at corner of his window by a Ministry owl. He stood, opened the window to let the owl in, and retrieved the letter. He gave the bird a snack and let it fly out of the window. He looked at the seal of letter and noticed it was from Children Support Services and something stirred inside of him. The first thought that came to his mind was that it was about Severus. He wasn't disappointed when he broke the seal and read it. It said that Severus' father had gone to the local authorities and claimed that Severus had stolen money from him and had ran away. Tobias also claimed that 'he doesn't care about money and just wants his son back' and that 'he can't bear to live even one day without Severus, especially now that his mother had passed on!' Why Tobias Snape would claim such a thing when it is evident that he didn't care one bit about Severus; Albus had no idea, but he was going to find out!

Attached to the letter was a copy of cancellation form of Severus' study signed by Tobias Snape on the date of funeral of Severus' mother. Dumbledore remembered the exact date, since he thought it strange that Severus had returned to school immediately after the funeral. So the date had gotten stuck in his mind.

According to the law every magical child has to take his OWLs whether they went to school or were homeschooled, but not everyone needs to take NEWTs. After a student who went to school sat their OWLs, they can skip the NEWTs with their parents’ consent. All they needed to do was to have their parents sign a cancellation form.

The rest of Ministry letter had referenced the cancelation form and stated that as Severus' father had signed the cancellation form, Severus shouldn't be accepted at Hogwarts. Also, it said that in the case Severus came to Hogwarts or they had news of his whereabouts, he should be reported to Ministry immediately and returned to his 'worried' family.

After rereading the letter to be sure he hadn't missed anything, Albus folded it and put it on the desk with a sigh. It made everything worse. He couldn't keep the fact that Severus is at Hogwarts hidden for long, because he usually wrote a response to Ministry to acknowledge receiving the Cancellation form – he usually sent his reply to Department of Magical Education as it is from them he usually received the letters. Now that he thought about it, it was strange. No matter how much paperwork one case has, they always send an announcement and a copy of the form during the summer before start of the term, not one month into it! Another thing he would need to investigate.

Also, he has to answer the Ministry inquiry whether Severus had been sighted in Hogwarts. However, in this case doing either of them meant condemning Severus to a living hell. Certainly a terrible fate!

The only other option was to bring up the abuse. In that case after a medical examination and registering Severus' and other witness' testimony, an investigation will be done and Severus would need to stay in an orphanage during the duration of investigation. If a case of abuse is proved then Severus would become a charge of Ministry and whether he wants to continue his studies or not, they'll help him accordingly.

However, in Severus case, this option is not an easy way either. There were some obstacles in the way. The first one was convincing Severus to consent to medical examination and admittance of abuse; the boy was proud and would not admit it easily, if at all. At the thought of medical examination Albus grimaced. It was humiliating because they did a physical examination besides a magical one and from the things he had heard; they didn't treat the victim well so much so that several cases had been recanted by the victims when they were informed of the need for a physical examination.

Even if Severus consented to that; it would raise some problem. During the examination they would find the scar left by Severus' suicide attempt. Wizarding world was not as good as the Muggle world in the field of psychology and a suicide attempt would ensure a one way ticket to mental ward for Severus. When the Ministry comes across a suicide case, they will immediately label the patient as mad, incurable, and will lock him in St. Mungo's mental ward. Albus had heard of a few case of healers abusing or neglecting patients by his friends in the Magical Law Enforcement department; all of which ended in the healers being declared innocent which Albus thought wasn't true. It was condemning Severus to another kind of hell, but this option caused trouble for Albus himself as well. He should have reported such an important case, but what did he do? He stored the file in the drawer of his desk and forgot completely about it. What he did can be counted as neglect of his duty. It could very well end in him losing his job; something he couldn't risk, not with Tom growing in power.

Perhaps it was better to help Severus pass on, as it would end terribly for Severus either way. Albus shook his head and vanished the thought as soon as it came to him. He shouldn't even think of such things, especially not now when Severus is stable. He had sacrificed lives before, but there was a purpose to it. However, Severus's life would be wasted for no reason. No, he won't abandon Severus. He won't let him be another Ariana, a lost life which he still felt guilty about! No, he will save Severus. He owed it to him. Specially, after all the times he neglected and abandoned him when he should have helped him.

'Just the way you abandoned and neglected your duty in caring for her, when you should have helped her!' a voice said in the back of his mind. He shook his head. No, he won't let that happen! He just had to consult with some people and find another way to solve this.

~oOo~

It was the third day …the third day since she had found out about Severus' condition and he hadn't awakened yet. She was getting really worried and therefore she couldn't stop thinking about him. About the fact that he hid what was going in his house from her and endured everything alone. She wanted to know why he did it. Was it because he didn't trust her or because he didn't want to hurt her? These thoughts did upset her greatly as she suddenly felt that she doesn't know Severus that much; the boy who had been her friend for six years. Because if Severus managed to hide the fact that his father beat him or perhaps abused him verbally then what else did he hide from her? Could it be that Severus had already joined You-Know-Who and was just pretending to be her friend or perhaps he didn't want to join You-Know-Who and all the time he spent with his friend was an act? She shook her head. If it was so he wouldn't have called her and every Muggleborn the M word, and anyway, why would he need to act like that in front of his friends if he didn't want to join him? She couldn't really tell who Severus was anymore and all these thoughts were driving her dizzy.

She couldn't concentrate on anything so stopped trying to focus on what Professor McGonagall was saying and instead told her that she didn't feel well and left Transfiguration class with the promise that she'll let the Matron to check on her. She made her way toward infirmary not because of her promise, of course, but because she wanted to check on the subject of her thoughts, the boy who wouldn't stop plaguing her mind.

After letting the Matron check on her and say she is fine and giving her a knowing look; Lily made her way to the only occupied bed with closed curtains and went inside.

She stood there and stared at the prone body on the bed and it was like a soothing balm on her throbbing mind. Suddenly everything in her mind went quiet and in the silence of her mind, she thought she could still hear Severus' pleadings when said he didn't mean it. She didn't know how long she stood there, but when she came out of her reverie; she had purposeful determined eyes and a clear mind. She was going to get answers, real answers. When Severus woke up she is going to talk to him and she will find out which statements were the truth. She will find out which Severus is real and then she will decide what to do!

Chapter Text

That evening Poppy called both Albus and Minerva to her office in the healing ward. Minerva flooed directly to her office while Albus preferred to walk there. He walked in the corridors deep in thought. Strange things were happening which were making the situation worse. He hoped this day wouldn't get any worse, but considering the fact that he had been summoned to Poppy's office, it was unlikely. This day was getting worse! 'Or better' a treacherous voice said in his head. 'If Poppy has news of boy's apparent death, then you don't have to worry anymore! All problems are solved!' the voice continued. He shook his head. This might be the easiest way out, but it wasn't right. No, he would act on the basis of Severus survival, until the boy took his last breath for real. He wouldn't stop trying to make things right.

If Severus is still alive and Poppy's urgent summoning isn't because of it, then he would go to Ministry tomorrow and inquire about the matter of Severus' father, but no, tomorrow might be the time for him to take action, and might be too late for getting information as Ministry expected an answer to their inquiry. Also his appearance in Ministry and in the Department of Children Support Service can attract unwanted attention, and they might even ask for the response to their inquiry. No, he had to get information another way. He started to list name of all his friends in Ministry in his head, to find someone who can get the information he wants.

He reached Hospital Wing still in thought and made his way toward the matron's office. However, when he was passing the only bed with closed curtains, he stopped, and instead made his way toward it. He pushed the curtain aside, but didn't go in farther. He stood looking at the body on the bed.

Severus looked at peace and so innocent, unlike the angry, hateful expression Albus had often seen on his face. 'Maybe because you usually saw him when he was in trouble for getting into a fight with the Marauders. Something he couldn't' have started, as they were four to one, but in the end it didn't matter as he was usually punished harder, while those who were cause of the trouble walked away without any serious punishment' a voice said at the back of his mind.

He shook his head. That voice was right. As an adult, he is the one at fault. He should have investigated about Severus' home life and all of the incidents with the Marauders. However, Severus didn't make it any easier for him. He was too smart for his own good and covered his traces so he didn't get anyone's attention. 'He was bullied in school by students, and the professors always took the bullies' side, be it Marauders who you supported, or Slytherins who Slughorn did. He had enough reason to try to cover any traces because when no one cared about his life in school, why would they care about his home life? Most probably, he thought if he were to tell anyone it just would be used to hurt and humiliate him further, and you know he would have been right' that voice continued.

"All this feeling of guilt and staring at him won't solve anything" Albus startled by the voice that came from behind. He turned and found Minerva standing several feet away and looking past him at Severus' white face. Albus turned back, looked at Severus and said "I just can't understand how we missed this." He gestured to Severus' battered body. "How did we miss what was going on here under our noses?"

"Don't speak like we are innocent people, caught in a trap! We knew the Marauders and he were always fighting, and we knew Severus is a Slytherin and the possibility of him attacking one on four is very little! Yet, when the Marauders said he started it, we believed them over reason and Severus words! We all look the other way, only because his attitude put us off! It is our duty to teach and protect the children. All of them. And in this case, we failed miserably. So don't you dare say we were completely unaware!" She said in a stern tone.

Albus slumped and nodded still staring at the prone body on the bed. Minerva sighed and put a hand on his shoulder.
"Come! Poppy wouldn't tell me anything. She wants to say it once and as headmaster you should be there."

Albus nodded again, closed the curtains and followed Minerva to Poppy's office. When they all sat with a cup of tea in their hands, Albus started to speak. "Any change in his condition?"

Poppy sighed. "No, there is no change in his condition which is the problem. Though he is stable now, if he doesn't wake up soon, his body will begin to fail, starting with his liver as it has been damaged badly. Spells and potions can only get his body so far! Even though I've had to use a Muggle IV to give him some liquids as his body is quite dehydrated, his body needs food...something sustaining. Even the potions I'm giving him usually are taken on a full stomach."

"You said if he doesn't wake up 'soon'. How long does he have until his organs start to fail?" Minerva asked.

"I can't tell for sure, but I don't think it will be more than a week." Poppy said gravely.

"What? Just one week?" Both of them were shocked. They felt a weight on their chests at hearing it.

"Yes, one week. If we had found him sooner, things would have been easier."

They all bowed their heads, feeling ashamed. They always prided themselves in being responsible adults in their students' lives, but this incident showed just how much they had failed. After several minutes spent in silence, Minerva tried to gather herself and said firmly, "Wallowing in the past and in our mistakes won't solve anything. We have to keep hope in Severus survival and try to make things ready for when he wakes up. He should have the best support possible when he awakens."

"It won't be that easy." Albus said slowly. At the look he received, he put the Ministry letter on the table between them and explained. "I received this letter from Ministry today. Apparently, Severus' father has claimed that Severus had stolen some money from him and had run away from home. He has said he doesn't care about the money and just want his son back. He also has signed a cancellation form for Severus' sixth and seventh year. I think the date of the cancellation form is same as the date of Severus' mother funeral."

"What? Why would he do something like that?" Poppy asked.

Minerva was looking at the letter with something akin to disdain. Then like she remembered something, she asked, "You received the cancellation form today?" At Albus' nod she continued "This is strange. They should send these letters in summer so we can remove the student's name from the new year's list."

"Yes, it is strange."

"Now what are we going to do? If Ministry is searching for him, we can't keep his presence here hidden for long."

Albus nodded and said "They sent an inquiry about whether Severus was sighted in Hogwarts or not and I have to answer soon. I wanted to consult with someone in Children Support Services about it, but I don't know anyone there and walking into the Ministry to ask some random employee will draw too much attention. They might even question my motivation for asking this information"

Poppy and Minerva nodded deep in thought. Suddenly Minerva looked at Albus, her eyes widening in excitement. "Why you don't speak with Doreen? I think she mentioned once that she has a friend in that department."

"Doreen? James' mother?" Albus asked. Minerva nodded as a small smile formed on her lips.

"I'll ask her to bring her friend to my office today."

"Today? Albus, would it not be better to contact her tomorrow morning?"

"No, I usually answer Ministry's letter in a day's time! If it takes more than a few days, it would seem suspicious. We don't know how long will it take for us to find a solution so the sooner we start, the better."

Both witches, nodded and with that they said goodbye and the wizard and witch departed from the medical ward. They walked in silence and at the bottom of the stairs which separated their ways, they departed with a nod.

The moment Albus entered his office; he moved to the fireplace and threw some floo powder in and called out, "Potter Manor."

He had thought about the approach he is going to take for this meeting and other ones. He had known the Potters for a long time and knew they would keep his secret, but he couldn't be sure about Doreen's friend. He suspected that he is not the only one who is aware of Severus case and until he settled everything or at least knew about that person and his/hers motivation, he preferred to keep things silent.

He waited for a minute before Doreen brought down the fireplace ward and Albus saw her crouched in front of fireplace. An expression of surprise came upon her face.
"Albus? What a surprise! Has James done something? Has something happened to him? Albus, tell me my James is fine!"

"He is well and rocking, Doreen!" Albus chuckled. "I contacted you for another reason. Minerva told me you have a friend in the 'Children Support Services' department of Ministry. Is this true?"

Doreen looked confused when she said "Yes, Rosaline Bones, but she is not a friend! She is a cousin of mine several generations removed, but we have a very good relationship. Why do you ask?"

Albus didn't give her chance to say more. "Is she trustworthy? Can she keep secrets?"

"Of course she is!"

"Can you bring her to my office, today?"

"Today? What's the matter, Albus? You are worrying me!"

"Yes, today! It is important, Doreen. If you can bring her to my office, I'll explain everything then."

"Um …okay. I'll see whether she can come. Is seven good?"

"Yes, it is good."

"Ok, then." She closed the connection.

Albus sighed, before getting up slowly and sitting down behind his desk.

~oOo~

Seven o'clock found the wizard and two witches, sitting in the headmaster office, sipping tea and doing small talk. After five minutes of introduction and pleasantries, Doreen Potter put her cup in her saucer and then both of them on the table between them and asked, "Are you going to tell us what this is about, Albus?"

Albus sighed, put his cup down, and started to speak. "First both of you must swear an oath not to reveal what I am going to tell you to anyone, even your son and husband, Doreen."

Though both witches had identical expressions of confusion, they drew their wands and repeated the wordings Albus told them. Albus started his story. "The matter is about a half-blood Slytherin who had been abused by their Muggle father severely."

"Did you manage to save him? Um …is he a boy or a girl?" Doreen asked.

"A boy, and yes, if you can call it 'saving'. We reached him at the last minute. It was three days ago and his condition is still critical!"

"Poor boy" Doreen muttered.

"What about his mother?" Rosaline jumped quickly on the legal aspect of case.

"She is dead. She died in March and from the state we found their home in; I think we shouldn't rule out the possibility that she was murdered."

Both witches eyes widened, horrified, but after several minutes of silence Doreen asked, "How old is he and what is his name?"

"Fifteen."

"Fifteen? You mean he is same age as James? And you just found out he was being abused?"

"Yes, he is same age as James, and yes. He was too good at covering it up. Even his best friend who knew him since before Hogwarts wasn't aware of this," Albus said, careful not to say that no one here had cared enough to see the signs and investigate.

Rosaline muttered, "All of them are good at it."

"No wonder he ended up in Slytherin, abused and hating anything to do with Muggles"

Albus shook his head. "Severus' best friend is Muggleborn and to my knowledge Severus cares about her a lot." Though in everyone eyes their friendship was ended, Albus could see how much Severus and Lily cared about each other. Though Lily preferred her Gryffindor friends to Severus, Albus in his talk with her found out she still cared deeply about Severus.

Doreen was surprised, but a part of Albus' words caught her attention. "Severus? As in Severus Snape? The boy James and Sirius prank? But from what I heard from them, he is a vicious boy and a member of group of children who hate and hex Muggleborns in school. There are also some rumors about the parents of some of them that they have joined the one who calls himself Voldemort!"

"There is a high possibility that those rumours are right, but Severus' case is different. There was a misunderstanding that I admit I played a role in," Albus said vaguely. He didn't want to elaborate about the events and his role in Severus' current situation. He didn't want to tell Doreen about his disregard for Severus' home life, his ignorance of his situation in the house of snakes. And the unjust punishment he gave Severus in his encounters with the Marauders.

He wanted to change subject to distract Doreen from her current line of thoughts, but before he could say anything, Rosaline said, "To my understanding it is an abuse case like any other. There is going to be a petition, an examination to prove the abuse, words of witnesses and then a hearing...like all other cases! I just don't see why there is any need for this level of secrecy."

"Well, there is problems even on that case, Severus is a proud, reserved, and private boy and I don't think he would consent to a physical examination" Rosaline lips pursed at that, but Albus continued evenly, "However, today I received a letter from Ministry that complicated things greatly. And that's the reason I asked for secrecy. Apparently, for some unknown reason, Severus' father has gone to Muggle authorities and claimed that Severus had run away from home after he stole money from him. He insisted that the money is not important for him and he just wants his son to be found and returned to him!"

"What? Why would he do this?" They both said. Both of them were obviously shocked.

"I don't know and that's what I want to find out, but also there is the matter of cancellation form"

"Cancellation form?" Doreen repeated.

"Yes, apparently Severus' father signed a cancellation form for his NEWTS level degree on the day of his mother's funeral, but I just received the form today instead of in the summer. It was with a Ministry letter stating that according to the cancellation form, Severus can't continue his education so in case he was spotted at Hogwarts or in Hogsmeade, he was to be returned to his 'concerned' father immediately."

Rosaline sighed "Now I see the reason behind all this secrecy and haste. You can't keep his presence here quiet for long."

Albus nodded. "That's why I need your help and I need you to keep it silent. For helping Severus, I need to know the reason for his father trying to reclaim him. Besides that I suspect that someone wanted to keep the cancellation form silent, but I can't imagine why."

"What is strange for me is how his father knew about cancellation procedure. It is not customary even in the wizarding world to not allow children to take their NEWTs." Rosaline said.

"Well, his mother could have told him." said Doreen.

"If Professor Dumbledore's assumption about Severus' mother’s murder is right then I highly doubt that she wanted to cancel Severus' education or had told something in that regard to her husband" Said Rosaline.

Albus nodded. After that there was several minutes of silence where everyone was in their own thoughts. Rosaline cleared her throat to get the attention of the other two occupants of room and said, "Now, I understand perfectly why you called for our help and I swear I will do my uttermost to help without anyone noticing. If that's all, I'll go to ministry to see what I can find in Children Support Services. Tomorrow I'll speak briefly with some of my friends in other departments to see what we can find. I assure you, my friends are trustworthy and will keep silent."

Albus smiled and nodded.

"If you need any help for Severus, just let me know. I'll speak with James and Sirius over holidays and tell them not to prank him anymore."

Albus shook his head. "No, don't tell them anything. As I said before, Severus is a private boy, and I admit I played a role in the misunderstanding about him. I don't want him to think that I spoke about his problems to his rivals to humiliate him. I will talk to them about this misunderstanding when Severus is better."

Doreen pursed her lips and nodded reluctantly. Then the two witches were gone. Leaving the old wizard to his thoughts.

~oOo~

The next morning, Dumbledore had a surprise visit in form of Rosaline Bones and Doreen Potter. While he knew Mrs. Bones would come, he didn't expect it to be so soon.

"Am I right to assume you found something?" Albus asked and when Rosaline nodded, Albus gestured with his hand to them to sit down.

The moment they sat down, Rosaline opened her mouth to speak, but stopped when Albus raised his hand.

"If you would wait a minute, I prefer Poppy and Minerva be here for this. I'll get them while you eat something." He stood and moved towards fireplace. An elf suddenly appeared with a tray containing a teapot, five cups, and a dish of biscuits, setting the tray down on the table in front of the two witches.

When everyone was seated with a cup of tea in their hands, Rosaline spoke, "First of all, I want to know who this boy is?" She received four confused stare as response.

"I told you his name is Severus Snape, a half-blood Slytherin" Albus said calmly.

"I know that, but what I mean is who he is? What does he have that all these people are after him?"

"All what people?" Asked Doreen.

"I take it, you don't know anything either?" Albus asked Doreen.

Doreen shook her head. "All Rosaline said was that we needed to speak with you urgently."

"There are quite a few people who are trying to get their hands on him, one way or another! I asked one of my colleague about him and I got a suspicious response. I sneaked into Children Support Services and two other departments and what I found was shocking. What is even more shocking is that some of these people are very powerful and influential and there are some rumours about most of them; that they have ties to this man who calls himself Voldemort."

The other four in the room were both shocked and horrified. Rosaline continued without waiting for their response. "And while most of them don't have any documents or evidence in their file, Lucius Malfoy even has all the legal documents for guardianship ready. They just lack Severus' signature!"

"Guardianship?" Dumbledore murmured, but in the silence of room everyone heard it.

"Yes, and he is not the only one! There are others who want to take his guardianship. Someone named Stephan Bareed claimed that his grandfather had named him his godfather so he is naturally his guardian. A witch has gone so far as to claim that when he was born, she was near five and their mothers had bonded them, so she is his magical guardian until he is of age and they can marry!"

With every word the room occupants' eyes widened more and more.

"Could that man claim such thing? Considering that everyone knew Lord Prince disowned his daughter even if most don't know why!"

Rosaline sighed. "I looked into it. Severus Prince had disowned his daughter, but not any children she might have."

"So Severus is the heir to Prince fortune, and one of the richest men in the wizarding world?" asked Minerva incredulous.

"Yes, and it is easy for influential people to get the information about his mother’s death. They naturally would want to get their hands on him and his fortune. But the fact that most of these people are rumoured to have connection with one person can't be coincidental!" said Rosaline and others nodded their agreement.

"Severus is a very talented young man." Poppy said.

Albus nodded. "He got O in all of his OWLs," he added.

Poppy nodded and said. "His best subjects are Potions and Defense against Dark Arts. When Horace was too busy to make the hospital's potions, Severus usually made them. He is a genius in potions and can even make NEWT level potions. He told me once he has even invented a spell! His own spell!" Poppy said like a proud mother with a gentle smile on her lips.

The other four's eyes were wide with surprise. Creating spells was not an easy feat. Most of people twice or thrice Severus' age hadn't managed such things. Doreen knew that neither she nor her husband had managed it. It was shocking that a fifteen year-old boy had managed such a feat. And suddenly they had an understanding of why these people were after Severus. Especially, if they knew about his home life. Severus would be the perfect tool for them to use.

Dumbledore who recovered from his shock rather quickly said. "That explains why Tom is trying to get Severus." The four witches nodded.

There was several minutes of silence as everyone thought about the implication of this information for Severus and how it changed things before a thought occurred to Minerva and she asked Rosaline, "Do you know why his father has said he wants him back?"

Rosaline nodded her lips in a thin line. "Apparently the cancellation form wasn't the only matter that Severus' father was informed of. He has been told about Severus' inheritance and his guardian's access to them. He has signed a form requesting to receive a large amount of money each month for taking care of Severus."

"What?" Minerva and Poppy said at the same time.

"Who told him?" Asked Doreen.

"That explains why he wants Severus to be returned to him." Albus said solemnly.

Rosaline nodded and in answer to Doreen's question said. "Albert Peterson. He was the Ministry employee who attended Eileen Snape funeral" At the lack of reaction from her audience she explained, "He is an employee in the Children Support Service Department. It is not their duty to attend funerals or give out cancellation forms! Also his name is on Severus' father's money withdrawal form. But more importantly his name is also on Malfoy's guardianship documents."

Understanding lit up their eyes. Then Minerva frowned and said, "So we can assume that Lucius Malfoy was behind all of these." At the nods she received she continued, "But what I don't understand is why they withheld the cancellation form from us? Wouldn't it have been more convenient to send it to us in summer as they usually do? To my understanding that was the first thing that made us suspicious and caused us to investigate." Albus nodded in agreement.

"Then either he has some other plan we don't know about or someone else interfered with his plans" Doreen concluded logically.

"Now that you mentioned it, it might be possible. Professor Dumbledore do you have the letter that the Ministry sent to you?"

"Please call me Albus, and yes I have it." Dumbledore opened a drawer of his desk and brought the parchment out. Rosaline took the parchment from him and inspected it closely before looking at the other people in the room.

"It is just a guess, and a very far one at that, but this letter was sent by Alice Ferb. She works in Department of Education. Her husband Mike Ferb works in Department of Children Support Services and he was working on the Stephan Bareed's file. You know I found a document in that file that presented rather good evidence that the claim of Mr. Bareed is right, but it was determined to be a fake by Mr. Peterson."

"Wait a minute! You are saying that they are sabotaging each other work?"

Rosaline shrugged. "It is just a guess," she muttered.

"But if all of them work for one person, why should they sabotage each other's work?" Doreen asked in confusion.

"Maybe Tom had promised them some reward and each of them wants it for themselves," Albus said.

"What I don't understand is that why Malfoy needed Severus' father to know about cancellation form and money withdrawal?" No one had any answer to that.

"Those things are not important, what is important now is to come up with a way to save Severus. By the way how is he?" Rosaline directed the last question at Poppy.

"No change. He is still unconscious." Poppy replied with a sad sigh.

"What can we do?" Minerva asked wearily.

"Bring up the abuse, of course! I know Severus is a private person and might have objections to a physical examination, but that would be our best option." Said Rosaline.

Albus, Minerva, and Poppy exchanged some wary looks, before Albus cleared his throat and said.

"There is another problem, beside Severus' objection" Albus looked closely at his audience, before taking a deep breath and saying, "At the end of last year, Severus tried to commit suicide." Both witches' eyes widened and a gasp escaped Doreen's mouth. They thought they are done being shocked after all they had seen and heard in the recent twenty hours, but they were wrong.

Albus continued without any comment on their reactions. "He nearly died, but Poppy managed to save him. Now, even if Severus consents to the physical examination, the healers assigned by Ministry will bring that up and Severus will be institutionalized in St. Mungo's mental ward most probably," he explained.

Rosaline frowned and her lips were pursed. After that no one spoke. There was only the sounds of cups and saucers clinking from time to time.

After what seemed an eternity which was only ten minutes, Rosaline broke the silence, "I think there might be a way to solve this problem. It won't be an easy job, especially for you Professor Dumbledore, but it saves Severus from mental ward and will make things easier"

"What is it?" Dumbledore asked earnestly.

"You should become his guardian." Rosaline said.

Chapter Text

"What is it?" Dumbledore asked earnestly.

"You should become his guardian." Rosaline said.

"What?" Everyone asked.

"Headmaster Dumbledore should become his guardian" Rosaline said again in emphasis.

"Severus will never consent to this" Dumbledore said.

"But how does it help?" Minerva asked.

"I don't believe I'm saying this, but this is a very hard case, a case that doesn't provide satisfactory results in regular legal ways so we have to use methods similar to Mr. Malfoy's."

"You mean we have to bribe Ministry officials," Doreen asked.

Rosaline chuckled and said "No, if there are any documents needed, I'll prepare them without any bribes or money. I promise!" She chuckled again. "What I meant was to use influence to get our way. If the headmaster become his guardian then we can bring the abuse and suicide case forward together. By bringing up the abuse, not only Severus' father won't have any claim on Severus, but also the cases of cancellation form and money will come up, as well. It will get Mr. Malfoy in trouble so he won't be able to come up with anything for a while. Severus' inheritance will be safe as well. The Ministry officials who accepted bribes will be in trouble and it serves them right. By bringing up the suicide along with the abuse we can make sure that the abuse case goes smoothly. You can use your influence to have Madam Pomfrey as the healer for the physical examination instead of some random healer from the Ministry." The last part was spoken to Dumbledore "I think he will be more comfortable considering that she had healed him before."

"Is such thing possible?" Poppy asked.

"Yes, you will be required to give an oath that you won't hide anything and will tell the truth. The suicide case will be a little tougher, but it is possible. In the past, I think there were cases that the family of the mentally ill person had preferred to take care of them in their home, instead of hospitalizing them in the mental wards. Of course Severus is not mad, so it should be easier. I think we can even use the death of his mother and the abuse as motivation to make them sympathize and make things easier, but I think that a monitoring period is inevitable. Severus will need to consent to a monitoring charm to make sure he doesn't hurt himself or others for a specific period of time. However, as you practically live in the school as Severus' headmaster and guardian you can ask to keep him in the school under surveillance. This way as soon as Severus is well enough, he can attend his classes."

The other three women were nodding in agreement, but there was a frown on Dumbledore's face as he said. "It depends too much on Severus' consent; his consent to a physical examination, my guardianship, and a monitoring charm."

"Yes, but it is his best option and for now it is our only plan. We will prepare for this and wait for Severus to wake up. We will think about those other problems when we come to them."

They were silent for a moment before Dumbledore said "But we don't know how long will it take for Severus to wake up and in what kind of mental state he will be in when he does. I can't ignore the Ministry's inquiry for much longer. I have already taken a risk in not answering them as they will become suspicious."

"Then answer them." Rosaline said.

"But what should we tell them?" Minerva asked.

"The truth! Or at least as much truth as possible." Rosaline said.

"What?" They all cried.

"They'll return him to his father!" Poppy said.

"Tell them Severus is here and that his situation is critical so he cannot be moved," Rosaline said.

"If we tell them this then we will have to explain why he is in this condition and then the abuse case will start before Albus is granted Severus' guardianship," Minerva said.

"No, we don't!" Dumbledore, who had caught up with Rosaline plan, said. Then he turned to Rosaline and said. "Am I right in assuming that you want me to just tell Ministry that Severus came to Hogwarts in this condition and omit everything else?"

"Exactly! A–" Rosaline began, but she was cut off by Poppy, before she could say more.

"Severus' legs are broken! How are you going to convince Ministry that Severus came to Hogwarts by himself?"

"We are not saying that he came by himself we are just saying that whether he came by himself or had help we don't know!" Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling.

"We know that his legs are broken, you know, but the Ministry officials don't! And they won't check on him until he wakes up and by then everything will be as it should be." Rosaline said.

"If we want to go through with this we have to be careful because the Ministry might not check on him, but who says that no one else will?" Doreen asked. And while she didn't elaborate everyone understood who she meant and nodded their head in agreement.

They were silent for some time before Minerva and Doreen started a conversation about something they had read in Daily Prophet and Dumbledore, Rosaline, and Poppy started to speak about Severus' medical condition and how he was found in the first place.

They talked for an hour, before Rosaline left with Poppy to see Severus' medical file, promising to ready guardianship documents as fast as possible without any unnecessary person's knowledge. She had to get the signature of the head of the department of Children Service and some others, but they didn't need to see who is taking the guardianship of whom. She was going to put an illusion spell on the names.

Doreen left as well asking to be kept informed about Severus' condition. Minerva departed to get ready for her classes before the start of the breakfast. Dumbledore was left alone with his thoughts of a dark haired boy.

~oOo~

It was the evening of the fifth day since Severus was admitted to the Hogwarts' Hospital and two days since Poppy had said Severus would not make it into the next week if he did not wake up.

Albus Dumbledore was currently walking the corridors toward hospital wing and the reason for it was not to check on Severus; though he was going to do that, as well. No, he was going there, because he needed a pain reliving potion for his headache. He spent the last two days communicating with Ministry and speaking with Rosaline and Poppy on top of all of his duties.

After answering Ministry's inquiry, there was a swarm of owls from different officers asking about details and such. Some even wanted to come to Hogwarts to check on Severus. Albus after consulting with Rosaline and Poppy declined and explained that Severus was in no condition to have visitors as it was not within Ministry rules to visit in situations like this. They would have to wait till Severus woke up and then send a request.

When he wasn't contacting Ministry, Albus was spending his time with Rosaline and Poppy. Rosaline was a fierce and protective woman when it came to abused children. While she was the one who suggested Dumbledore become Severus' guardian and that it was their best option to help Severus, she wanted to make sure that Dumbledore knew what he needed to do and has accepted it. She had read Severus' medical file, as she wanted to take both the abuse and suicide cases. Also, she decided that the best way to insure that Dumbledore knew what he was getting himself into was to make sure he was informed about his responsibilities. So she went through every problem Severus was going to have and the way he should support Severus as his guardian. As she said to him repeatedly she wanted to make sure he knew what he had to do when Severus woke up since there won't be any time for second thoughts. Also, besides her work and all the meeting she had with Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey, she spend her free time on prepareing the guardianship documents as fast and discreetly as possible.

He entered the hospital wing still wrapped in his thoughts, but some unusual sounds brought him out of his thoughts. He looked at the partition with the closed curtain where the unusual sounds were coming from. He made his way towards it and opened the curtains forcefully. What he saw shocked him.

Severus was on his side convulsing, scratching at his chest and throat like he couldn't breathe while Poppy was trying to keep him still and stop his hands from hurting himself even more.

He joined the matron quickly in restraining the convulsing teen and asked, "What happened?"

"I don't know. He was okay and I was just checking him when it started. It was as if he was suffocating! I turned him to his side just in case his tongue or something else was blocking his airway, but it didn't help. I cleared his airway and checked for any problems. His airway is clear. His throat is a little swollen which I suspect has something to do with the fading bruise on his throat, but it didn't cause any problem before so it is irrational to think that it is the cause now. I checked everything else and his condition hasn't changed at all so I don't understand what is causing it. I wanted to put a tube magically down his throat to see whether it helps or not, but he started convulsing and scratching. I was trying to keep him still, but now that you are here you can help me. Try to keep him on his side with one hand and hold his hands with the other so I can put the tube in."

Albus tried to keep Severus still while Poppy cast the necessary spell. After the tube was in, Severus relaxed a little obviously breathing more easily. His hands went limp in Dumbledore's, but unfortunately the tube wasn't any help for convulsing and Severus continued to spasm. They tried to keep him still throughout his seizure. Little by little Severus' spasms lessened until Severus' body went completely limp. They sighed in relief, went to clean up, and retreated to Poppy's office to discuss this new development when they noticed a change in Severus condition which surprised them; Severus eye lids fluttered and opened.

~oOo~

Severus was in a dark place. He'd been there since his mother disappeared. He was floating in the darkness. He had promised his mother to live, but now he was kind of regretting it. Despite his mother's reassurance that everything was going to be better, Severus couldn't help but feel that even if he returned to life nothing is going to change. At best, his survival will be because someone has found him in the basement, but that possibility was less than zero as 'normal' people didn't even pass this area. There was no possibility of them entering his house, finding him in the basement, and taking him away. Even if something like this did happen, then after spending some time in hospital, they would find out that he didn't have anyone and he would be sent to a orphanage where he would stay until he comes of age. After that ...well he did not want to imagine!

He didn't have any education in Muggle world. In the Wizarding World he just has taken his O.W.L exams which he hasn't received their results yet. He doesn't have any connection or even one Knut on him. Of course, he could join the man who Malfoy spoke about ...what was he called? Oh, Lucius had called him the Dark Lord. But he doubted this Dark Lord would look at a penniless half-blood like him twice and not when he had rich, influential Purebloods like the Malfoys on his side. In the best case they will accept him as a servant and treat him like their house-elves. If only he could get his Mastery in Potions, then everyone would respect him. He would invent new potions and become rich and then so powerful that nothing or no one would dare touch him.

Overall, if he returned to life his future didn't look too bright, but even that if was too big, considering that he was floating in a dark place where he couldn't see, hear, or feel anything. He started to walk, or at least he thought that's what he was doing as it was hard to tell, considering that there was literally nothing around him even the ground. Every step he took he felt like he was stepping on clouds, but there was nothing or at least he couldn't see anything. It was strange feeling like walking on a roof with closed eyes and not knowing whether the next step you take will still be on the roof or over the edge.

Perhaps it was because of this feeling that he noticed that his surroundings were changing. No, changing is the wrong word. His surroundings were shrinking and the space was closing in on him. The darkness was crushing him, squeezing the air out of his lungs. There was no air in his lungs or maybe there was no air in the space around him, but no it was because of the darkness that had entered his lungs that he couldn't get any air! He didn't know how he knew this, but he just knew! Maybe because of the weight he felt in his lungs he tried to cough it out, but it was no use. Severus clutched at his throat trying to get in some air, but he hands were heavy, too heavy. Actually, all his limbs were heavy. It was like the darkness has permeated his whole body, weighing it down.

His knees buckled under him, unable to carry this huge weight any more. He fell on all fours. His heart was going wild in his chest and he was panting; his eyes widened and his mouth was opened like a fish out of water. His chest felt tight. It was like with every breath he tried to take, more darkness entered his body and he felt it was going to explode any moment. Severus brought one hand to his chest, while he tried to hold his balance with his other hand. He desperately, started to massage, hit, and scratch at his chest ...anything that would make this weight come out and end his suffering.

His other hand was unable to hold him upright for long and soon he fell down on his side, choking on air. His hands were grasping at his chest while he could feel the darkness closing in on him, entering every part of his body. He felt the darkness swallow him and then he knew no more.

~oOo~

When Severus came to the first thing he noticed was that something big was in his throat which was irritating it. He tried to expel it. That's when he noticed the next two points: first, he is too weak to move a muscle and second, moving or not it hurts; everything hurts.

Then in the next second a swarm of thoughts attacked his sluggish mind. Most of which he couldn't comprehend. He spent a minute trying to decipher the two most prominent ones: Where am I and why does everything hurt?

He did know that the answer to these questions was important, but he didn't know why. He just knew that he had to find the answers. He knew he was too weak to move, but didn't know why. He knew that finding the answers to these questions preceded everything so in a move of sheer will, Severus forced his eyes open. However, all that greeted him was a hazy white.

~oOo~

Five days. James couldn't believe it. It was five days since he was in hospital wing and heard about Snape's situation. Five days since he saw Snape's pale form. Of course, it wasn't the only time; He had gone to hospital wing twice more in the middle of night under his cloak. It was five days and still James didn't know what to make of it.

His friends had noticed something was wrong with him. Of course they had! They were his best friends and knew him very well, but he didn't tell them anything. He wanted to draw his own conclusion before telling them. And considering the way things were progressing or not, they would have to wait a long time before he told them anything. His friends apparently didn't like it because unlike the two first days where they left him alone when he said he was okay, they insisted more and more that he tell them what's wrong.

Though apparently they were not the only ones as Frank asked him if he was alright the other day and in explanation said he seemed quite subdued and a little distant.

He couldn't tell them; couldn't tell them about the turmoil that was going on inside his head. He couldn't tell them that one minute he didn't care about what happened to Snape and told himself that he deserved it because he was a slimy git who everyone had to suffer for his existence, but also they had to tolerate him as he pushes his large nose in others’ business. In the next moment he thinks that he should be ashamed of himself for not caring about what happened to another human being, Snape or not. The next moment he wonders whether Snape is even a human being or not with that hideous face and grease dripping from his hair and then he is ashamed of what he was thinking.

It was rather confusing because everything was different in comparison to the previous five years even the way Dumbledore was talking about Snape. While always Dumbledore had been uncaring what they did to Snape that night Dumbledore's voice was grave as he talked about how Snape didn't get along with his housemates. It was confusing and the worst part was that he couldn't tell anyone. Definitely not the professors. In the best case they would just pat him on the back and dismiss him and in the worst case he would end up with getting a lecture, losing house points or worst ...detention. Now that he was thinking again he wasn't sure which one was the worst. Was it better for him to be just dismissed without any punishment and without any answers or being lectured and punished and possibly getting some answers, too?

Chapter Text

Poppy checked everything one last time and left the curtained area. When she entered her office she found Albus sitting comfortably in a chair with a cup of tea. There was another cup of tea and a plate of biscuits on the table waiting for her. She joined him and started sipping her tea. After a minute of silence Albus asked "How is he?"

Poppy put her tea down and sighed. "He was in too much pain to be coherent so I really could not assess his mental state. I gave him a Dreamless Sleep Potion for now. I hope the next time he wakes up he will be more coherent."

"Then I'll tell Rosaline to prepare the documents and bring them over tomorrow morning," Dumbledore said.

"But Albus, what if he is not in any condition for this meeting? We still don't know what mental state he will be in when he wakes up next," Poppy said.

"I know, but we don't have much time! It would be better to be ready than risking losing time."

"Okay," Poppy conceded.

~oOo~

Severus was floating in darkness. It was different from before; that darkness was restricting, suffocating, but this one was not like that. It was gentle and welcoming. It felt soft, warm ...and safe. It was like the darkness was embracing him, protecting him, and Severus let himself relax. He let all the tension, all the pain go and just relaxed into its embrace. It felt a little like those times when his mother had embraced him, but yet it was different. When his mother hugged him, he could hear her heartbeat, he could see her love for him in her eyes, and feel it in the tightening of her arms around him. It felt natural to him. But this embrace ...it was not natural. In a way it was forced and clinical. That simple point proved to Severus that something was wrong. No one ever gave him anything good for no reason except his mother. Her hugs felt natural, but this was not natural.

Severus knew this and he knew that he should do something about it. He should stop it. He should find a way to get out of here, but he couldn't make himself actually do it. It was the only kindness, the only good thing he has received after an eternity of pain.

He knew he should find a way out, but he didn't want to. He wanted to stay. To feel safe, to feel wanted. So he stayed. He stayed for some time. He felt safe, but the wrongness of situation increased. The embrace which felt reassuring just moments ago started to feel suffocating, restricting, and instinctively Severus fought to get free. The more he fought however the more restricting it became until Severus finally broke through. It was like coming to surface after thrashing underwater for some time. His eyes opened wide and the first thing he registered was that he could breath! Merlin! There was air, fresh air. The second thing he noticed was pain, burning pain. It was everywhere …everything hurt. His eyes were blurry and he opened them in a silent scream.

~oOo~

It was well past midnight, when Madam Pomfrey checked on her patient for the last time and then went into her private chambers that was connected to her office. Even though she was tired she took her time preparing for bed. Her routine always relaxed her and helped her to sleep better. When she was ready, she went to her bedroom. She had just slipped between sheets of her bed when her wards went off, indicating that her patient had woken up. It was surprising that Severus had woken up as the Dreamless Sleep she gave him should have made him sleep until morning. She pushed the thought out of her mind and got up hurriedly. After donning a robe over her night cloth she practically ran to her office, took a pain reliever and went to Severus' bedside. Severus had his eyes shut tightly and his mouth was open, but no sound came out of it. He was sweating profusely and all his muscles were taut. Poppy sat on the bed slowly and not knowing what to do or what reaction to expect. She put her hand on Severus' shoulder and called his name.

Severus jerked at the touch, being too weak to do more than that, but didn't show any indication that he heard her. For the umpteenth times in the recent days Poppy cursed in her mind, getting frustrated. This was not in her expertise to deal with this kind damage. Broken bones, she could deal with. Wizard flu or any other illness, she could manage. Merlin, she could even heal injuries inflicted in a duel or battle. But dealing with the aftereffects of torture or the psychological effect of it was not in her expertise. She was a school healer, not a Mediwitch specialized in dealing with torture victims. All these days she spent second guessing her decisions and asking herself what if she had hurt Severus more by doing what she did. Shaking herself from her thoughts, she gently brought Severus' head up and put the uncorked vial to his lips. Severus at first resisted a little against her hold, but soon stopped and stayed limp as the cold liquid flew down his parched throat.

~oOo~

Severus swallowed with difficulty, but it was worth it. Because it was the first wet thing he had in his mouth in a while and it was cold and soothing and it flowed slowly and smoothly down his throat. So it was worth the effort and worth the difficulty.

When the liquid hit his stomach, it was heaven. Warmth spread through his inside. Then it got warmer and warmer to the point it was hot and it was burning. It was burning as it made its way up his throat again. It was burning and he didn't even have enough energy to turn his head and there was liquid still being poured into his mouth and the burning flame came up and then went down the wrong way so Severus could not even breathe.

~oOo~

Poppy should have seen this coming. She was a trained healer. She should have known, but after working years with children, fixing broken bones, healing simple illnesses, fixing a simple spell gone wrong; she had forgotten some trivial and essential parts of taking care of patients who woke up after a long coma. She should have known that after Merlin knows how long not eating, his stomach would shrink and he wouldn't be able to keep anything down. She should have given him a stomach soother first, but with everything going on her mind she simply forgot that fact.

She quickly turned Severus on his side and gently patted his back to help him to clear his air way. Then she summoned a bowl, napkin, and a stomach soother. Filling the bowl with water, she cleaned Severus' mouth and his sweating forehead before trying to coerce the unwilling teenager into swallowing the stomach soother. This time a low gurgling sound was the only indication of Severus' resistance as he didn't have any energy left.

When both the stomach soother and pain reliever were given to him, Poppy gently put his head back. She watched as tension left his body and his face relaxed. She waited several moments before calling him.

"Severus ...Severus?"

His eyelids fluttered and his eyes slowly opened. Poppy wanted to cast a Lumos charm or light one of the torches as she couldn't see very well in just the light coming from window. However when she saw even that light is too much for Severus' eyes and how he tried to shy away from it she reconsidered her decision and tried her best to assess her patient in the dim light.

"Severus, can you hear me?" The eyes that focused on her were both tired and confused.

"Can you hear me, dear?"

Severus blinked frequently as if he had difficulty focusing. There was several second of silence when Poppy could not see any sign that Severus recognized her. Just as she was concluding that there was some damage to his mind, Severus' eyes widened a bit in recognition. The recognition was soon replaced by more confusion. Severus opened his mouth to voice this confusion, but only a low groan came out of his mouth. Severus frowned and opened his mouth again to speak.

"It is okay. It is only because of disuse. Do you think you can keep some water down? Nod if you can."

Severus frowned a little like he had problem keeping up with her and he nodded once. Poppy summoned a cup. After performing the Aguamenti spell she helped Severus sip a small amount of water.

"Better?"

"Y-yes" his voice was very low and hoarse. Poppy was sure if it was not in the middle of night or the Hospital Wing was not empty she could not have heard. She smiled and asked.

"Do you know who I am?"

A small nod again. "M'm Pomf'y."

"Yes, dear. You are in Hogwarts and you are safe. Do you remember what happened?"

Severus frowned. There were several minutes of silence. After that Severus tensed which made the matron to come to the conclusion that he did remember. Severus' small nod confirmed her assumption and then Severus asked. "H-how?"

"You mean how you came to be here?" Severus nodded. "The headmaster and Professor McGonagall brought you to Hogwarts." Her answer made Severus narrow his eyes.

As her basic mental assessment was complete, instead of elaborating Poppy said, "We can speak about it tomorrow, but you have to rest now. Tomorrow the headmaster wants to speak with you and for that you need to be well rested."

She was summoning another Dreamless Sleep Potion, when she noticed the widened eyes and the near panicked state of Severus. Well as panicked as he could be considering his lethargic state.

"No" Severus said. Poppy knew that Severus didn't trust Albus and he had every right not too after all the times that Albus had unfairly taken Marauders' side in their quarrels. However, Severus' current reaction was a little extreme even considering that history.

"Severus? What it is, dear?" She asked gently.

"N …Not …so …soon …ca …can't …thi …think …c'early …m …m'mind …slow," he panted.

Poppy smiled kindly at him and said. "It is okay, Severus. The reason your mind is rather sluggish, is some of the potions coursing through your system. But now that you are awake, I'll change your potions, so it will get better. Also I'll be here tomorrow for your meeting with the headmaster so you have nothing to worry about and I can even brew you a herbal drink of brahim, vocha, and basil. It will accelerate your brain activity. How will that be?"

Severus thought for a second before nodding once and trying to catch his breath.

Poppy summoned a dreamless sleep and helped Severus to drink it. When she was sure he was asleep she tucked him in and after checking everything one last time, went to bed herself.

~oOo~

The morning could not have come sooner. To Severus it felt like a blink of an eye. He was still tired and in pain, but he needed to know what had happened. Also, there was the problem of the headmaster wanting to speak with him. Nothing good ever came from talking with the headmaster. Not for him. So, with difficulty, he opened his eyes to face the world. In a matter of minutes, Madam Pomfrey appeared next to him and gave him a series of potions. True to her word after drinking the potions Severus felt his mind was only slightly slower than usual.

Breakfast was a nightmare for Severus. Not only did he have to be spoon fed like a toddler, but also he had to wear a bib and Madam Pomfrey had to help him with swallowing with the use of a spell. It was very humiliating and all for what? Two spoonfuls of broth? It was all he could take. What was even more humiliating was the fact that he could not move even one bit and was totally exhausted and panting after swallowing two spoonfuls of broth.

Madam Pomfrey assured him that when he was a little stronger they will start the therapy and in no time Severus would be on his feet again. But what horrified Severus was that until then he would need someone to help him eat, drink, and even to use bathroom.

Severus was sure fate was having fun with him. He could not even have the dignity of seeing to his basic needs himself. When Madam Pomfrey had to 'help' him to half sit, half lie on the bed and get ready for his meeting with headmaster, Severus was ready to cry from the injustice of situation, but he refrained from doing so by sheer will. After that Madam Pomfrey helped him to sip a little of the promised herbal brew. Just when Severus wanted to ask Pomfrey about how he got to Hogwarts and what happened the doors of Hospital Wing opened.

Madam Pomfrey went to see who had come and after few minutes returned with the headmaster and a woman that Severus didn't know. Severus spent those minutes preparing his mental shield. Severus and the headmaster regarded each other for a minute before the headmaster smiled sadly and said, "Hello, Severus"

"Headmaster" Severus said stoically. He arranged his expression and tone so he gave nothing away.

"Hello, Severus. It is good to see you awake! My name is Rosaline Bones. I work in the Department of Children's Support Services of Ministry."

Severus looked at her for a minute, before nodding in response. After the adults sat down everything went silent as Severus regarded the witch and wizard sitting in front of his bed and they regarded him. After a few minutes Severus said, "Madam Pomfrey said you wanted to speak with me and she also said that you were the one who brought me here." He directed his statement at Dumbledore in a low voice.

"Yes, Professor McGonagall and myself went to your house …and brought you here"

"What were you doing there?" Severus asked his eyes narrowed.

"Well, when your professors noticed you had not attended any of your classes since the start of the term we sent an owl to your house. When we didn't receive any response and the owl didn't return Professor McGonagall and I decided to pay a visit to your home."

"Since the start of term?" Severus muttered to himself before asking "What date is it?"

The adults looked a little taken a back. None of them thought that during his stay at his home Severus had had no knowledge of the passing of time.

"It is October, third" It was Poppy who answered him. If Severus was surprised about it he didn't show it. After a minute of silence, Rosaline cleared her throat and said, "Severus, maybe you are wondering what Albus and I are doing here. Well, we are here because apparently your father has gone to authorities and asked them to find you and to return you to him as he is very concerned." She used air quotes and Severus snorted. "And he wants his son back." She finished.

"Of course he would," Severus muttered under his breath, as he stared at his feet on the bed. The statement made the three adult in the room exchange surprised looks.

Severus looked at them and said "But he cannot ask for this! I am a student and the term has already started. Students have to go home only in summers. Also I don't need to go back this summer as I am of age. I can simply stay at a friend's house"

"A friend's house?" Dumbledore asked with raised eyebrows which caused Severus to narrow his eyes.

"Yes, a friend's!" Severus snapped. "So I don't see what the problem is."

"The NEWT level of education is not mandatory. So even though it rarely happens parents can cancel their children education by signing a form. Your father has been made aware of this and he signed the cancellation form."

It was then that they saw the first emotions in Severus's face: Fear. Severus' mind was racing. His mind was racing through options. His heart was beating in his ears and he was panicking as option after option was rejected. When he ran out of ideas he noticed that his shield was down. He quickly brought it back up again and schooled his expression accordingly.

Dumbledore and Rosaline were surprised by how quickly Severus gathered himself and hid his emotions. No fifteen year-old child should be able to do that.

"So you are here to inform me that I have to go back?" Severus asked in a resigned tone.

"No, we want to help you and we are here to consider other options," Rosaline said. She has seen enough children like Severus to know that if they wanted to get the best result they needed to be honest about everything.

"What other options?" Severus asked.

"Well, if we bring up your father's treatment of you then you won't have to go back," Rosaline replied.

"But? There is a 'but' isn't there?"

Rosaline sighed and said. "Yes, the procedure for such cases includes a physical examination which you'll have to consent to."

At the mention of physical examination Severus stiffened slightly and then he said, "No"

"I know it is not easy for you, but it is the only option we have. Also if things go well, we can even put Poppy here for your physical examination." Upon hearing this Severus looked at Madam Pomfrey and she nodded back at him with a small smile.

There were several minutes of silence as Severus mulled the matter over. The others waited patiently for his response. At last Severus said quietly while looking at his blankets, "So, if I consent to this physical examination everything will be okay?" He wanted to be clear about his options. He had promised his mother to live …or he thought he did. If that was what really happened. He shook himself mentally. It didn't matter whether it was real or not. If he was really going to live then he had to make the best of it and for that he needed to know everything about this option.

"I wish it was that simple, but …" Rosaline trailed off.

"But?" Severus looked at her questioningly, but it was Dumbledore who answered him.

"The problem is that physical examination will reveal that scar as well." He motioned toward Severus' left wrist with his head and eyes.

Severus' only reaction was to turn his hand so no one could see the white scar on his wrist. How it was possible that every hard subject for him came up in a ten minutes talk, he had no idea. Dumbledore continued without acknowledging Severus' reaction.

"And Ministry is very strict in regards to suicide –" Severus winced slightly at the word. "They usually insist on admitting these people to an asylum like St. Mungo's mental ward"

Severus' eyes widened and his breath hitched. He had heard horrible stories about that place from his housemates. About how nurses filled patients with sleeping and other potions so they didn't have to bother with feeding, taking care of their needs, or guarding them so the patients wouldn’t escape. He also had heard that they treat the patients like they would a bag of potatoes; tossing them here or there. Severus shook himself out of his thoughts and asked Rosaline. "Am I right to presume that you have a solution for that as well?"

Rosaline nodded and said "Yes, we …" she motioned to herself, Dumbledore, and Pomfrey. "thought it would be best if we bring up abuse and suicide case together" Severus winced unnoticeably at hearing 'abuse' and 'suicide'.

"And how does it help?"

"Well, usually it doesn't, but if you were to grant your guardianship to someone influential then it makes both cases rather easy."

"Isn't it rather ironic that someone who works for the Ministry is the one suggesting going around the law? As an employee of the Ministry shouldn't you uphold the law?" Severus said haughtily.

"Yes, but that works when the written law helps people not to make them more miserable! Yes, I am suggesting we go around the law, but it is to help you."

"Why are you so interested in helping me?"

"It is my job to do so, Severus!" Rosaline said. Truth be told, she was getting a little frustrated. When Dumbledore told her that Severus was a difficult boy to deal with she didn't believe him.

"So it is to uphold the law,...and you are doing a wonderful job at that!" Severus said sarcastically.

"Severus—" Both Dumbledore and Poppy started to scold him, but Rosaline cut them off.

"No, he is right to question that." She sighed starring at the floor for one minute, before raising her head and looking Severus in the eye and said calmly.

"I'm doing this because I wanted to do so since I was child. I graduated from Hogwarts with all O's and E's. I could have gotten in any profession I wanted, but I chose this. Do you know why?"

Severus shook his head slowly. He still seem to have a problem believing her.

"It's because I lost a childhood friend to abuse. I know she was getting abused but I didn't say anything. We played with each other every day. One day she went home after our game and never returned! Her family was a famous pureblood family. The official story was that she fell down the stairs and broke her neck, but I knew the truth. When I was standing in front of her grave, I vowed to myself to do my best to not let other children suffer the same fate. That's why I chose this job and while I didn't win every case I had; haven't saved all those children; I did do all I could to help them. That's exactly what I want to do now; to help you."

"If I accept this option will I be able to skip being confined in a mental asylum?" He asked without commenting about Rosaline’s answer.

"Well, no. At the very least you'll have an observation period. The observation period is when your health and magic will be monitored so you don't hurt yourself or others. It will be nothing big. You just have to wear two magical bracelet and they won't even be visible to others. Also, there is a confinement period, but it will not be a problem either as it will take some time for you to get back on your feet. And you can even spend it here."

"They will let me stay in Hogwarts?"

"Well, yes, considering that your guardian is the headmaster of the school."

"What?" Severus asked rather harshly.

"Oh, I forgot to mention the most important part. We thought it would be best if Professor Dumbledore becomes your guardian. He has a lot of influence in Ministry and as headmaster —" Rosaline said before being cut off.

"No." Severus said firmly.

"I'm sorry?" Rosaline asked.

"No! I'm not going to give my guardianship to him!"

"But Severus —" Rosaline started to say before Severus cut her off again.

"No! You say you want to help me and I believe you! You are trying to show me alternatives, I understand. But I don't see how this will be any better than other outcomes!"

"Now, Severus, we are trying to help you." Dumbledore started to explain. "I know we've had our differences in the past –" Severus snorted. "But this is about your welfare and you need to be reasonable about it"

"Welfare? You speak as if you care!"

"Of course I do, Severus! I –"

"Isn't it funny that about four months ago you didn't care whether I lived or died? Now you say you care about my welfare? You know Headmaster, I'm really curious to know what brought this sudden change." Severus said acidly.

And suddenly Dumbledore found himself facing the Slytherin who he thought would be among the first ones who joins Voldemort. It was always hard for him to imagine Severus any other way when Severus behaved like this. ‘but now it would be different’ he thought with himself. However, to be honest with himself, he was surprised at Severus’ reaction. He knew he should not have been surprised by Severus' behavior, considering his treatment of the boy these past five years, his lack of interest in his home life, and his negligence of his situation at school. But he was. The fact that Severus was objecting to his guardianship was no surprise. In fact, Dumbledore had expected a confrontation like that. However, the vehemence in which Severus spoke took him by surprise.

Before he could think of anything to say to assuage the situation, Rosaline said, "Look Severus, I know about yours and Headmaster's disagreements —"

Severus snorted and said, "No, you don't anything about the disagreement," he air quoted with his barely raised hands. "between me and headmaster."

Rosaline sighed and said. "Okay, I don't know about it, but this is about your future and so far this is the only option that we have."

"No" Severus said firmly. "There are other people who can become my guardian."

"Yes, there might be others willing to do that, but none of them are influential enough to be able to help you."

"You are wrong. There are influential people. I am personally aware of the interest of a certain Mr. Malfoy in taking my guardianship. I'm sure there are others, as well." The three adults shared incredulous looks.

"Are you saying that you want Mr. Malfoy to become your guardian?" Rosaline asked.

Severus shrugged and said, "Well, I may as well do so, considering that the two options I currently have don't seem all that different. At least Lucius treated me well, when he was at school."

It was a complete bluff on his part. Severus had no intention of giving Malfoy smallest power over him, let alone granting him his guardianship. Severus had seen how Lucius Malfoy treated people who he didn't have much power over them. He was not stupid. He knew if he give Malfoy any power over him, then his situation will be even worse than how it was with his father; practically he will become a slave to him with promise of regular punishment. A level of pain and injury that his father could not inflect in a million years. However, he didn't think his situation would be much different with Dumbledore. So he was ready to take a risk. If the woman in front of him was really honest about helping him then this response would prompt her to come up with a better option. Or at least that was what he hoped would happen.

His line of thoughts was cut off by Dumbledore who seemed to have just woken up from Severus' response regarding Malfoy's interest.

"How did you come to know of this? Who told you about Mr. Malfoys interest?"

"Lucius, himself. He even had all the papers ready. They just needed my signature."

"When did he speak with you?" Dumbledore pressed on.

"Once at the beginning of summer at King's Cross and once in the middle of summer at Spinner's End."

"You mean he knew about how your father treated you and did nothing?" Rosaline asked outraged.

"Did nothing? I bet he paid my father to keep me like that after I turned him down at King's Cross. Definitely would explain why my father is so concerned for me and wants me back."

There was a moment of silence before Poppy said in a subdued voice, "Based on what we know, Mr. Malfoy didn't pay your father anything, but he informed your father that as your guardian he has access to your vault and since then your father has requested he should receive a large sum of money for taking care of you."

"My vault? But I don't have a vault!" Severus said confused.

"Severus, your grandfather only disowned your mother, and not any child she may have had. As of two years ago when your grandfather passed away; you have become the sole heir of Prince fortune," Rosaline explained patiently. "And this is what Mr. Malfoy shared with your father. Your father has been stealing from your inheritance!"

They expected a reaction showing anger, hurt, or sadness from Severus, but they were surprised in the next moment as Severus chuckled humorlessly.

"Severus?" Pomfrey asked tentatively.

"Of course, he would not waste the money of the noble house of Malfoy for getting me to agree! He used my own money to torture me and make me consent to his guardianship!"

"And yet you are saying that you want to give him your guardianship? After all he has done?" Dumbledore asked sharply.

"That's not what I said! But even so did you really expect me to grant my guardianship to you? After all you have done? Or not done?" Severus ended in a mocking tone.

"Just because I punished you several times for the trouble you have gotten ..."

Rosaline took one moment to process what she had heard so far. From all she had heard two things were certain: one, persuading Severus would not be an easy task and two, it would be impossible with Severus and Dumbledore in the same room. She had to admit that the quarrel between them was much bigger than the simple misunderstanding Dumbledore had made it out to be. It is a problem that needed to be addressed, but later. Now they had more urgent matters on their hands. With this thought in mind she cleared her throat to get their attention. When that failed she drew her wand and shot off some sparks. That got their attention and she said formally, "Headmaster, would you mind leaving us for a minute. I want to speak with Severus alone. Madam, if you would please leave too," She said motioning to Poppy.

"We will be waiting in headmaster's office." Pomfrey said firmly and a moment later both she and Dumbledore were gone. There was a minute of silence and Rosaline mulled over how to say what she wanted.

"Can I ask you something?" She asked at last. After seeing Severus' nod she continued. "Why didn't you grant Mr. Malfoy your guardianship?"

"I'm not stupid. I have seen how people with power over me usually treat me. I'm not going to give one more person that kind of power." Severus said bitterly.

Rosaline nodded and said "I understand. That's why we are saying it would be best that Mr. Dumbledore become your guardian. We want to help, Severus, but for that you have to let us help you."

"I know you want to help and that's why I am saying no. I will say yes and I'll let you help me when you give me a good option! Well, as good as possible!"

"You really believe that Mr. Dumbledore's guardianship is not much different from Mr. Malfoy, don't you?" Severus nodded once in answer.

"Why?" Rosaline asked.

"Why he has become so interested in helping me all of a sudden if he's not going to use me? Just like others do."

"Don't you think if he wanted to use you he would have done so before?"

"No, because 'before' he had no way of getting his hands on me. Now the opportunity has presented itself and he is taking it."

"Actually it was me who suggested that it would be good idea for him to become your guardian."

"Let me guess, because he is the Chief Warlock in the Wizengamot and has influence in the Ministry." Rosaline nodded. Severus continued, "What do you think would have happened if you hadn't suggested it? He would have suggested it himself, saying that as he has great influence and he could help me the most, he was the best option."

Rosaline acknowledged the possibility and studied the boy in front of her. After a few moments she asked, "Don't you think that there is a small chance that he is genuine?"

"No," Severus answered shortly.

"Why?" Rosaline asked.

"He has shown in the past that he doesn't care about my life."

"Does this have something to do with what you said about the end of last year?"

"Yes and no. Yes he showed that he doesn't care about my life, but it wasn't the first time. It has happened on so many occasions in the past. It was just the final straw."

"What happened? At the end of last year I mean."

"It was nothing. Just a disagreement between me and headmaster about the difference between attempted murder and harmless prank." Severus said sarcastically.

"Murder?"

"I can't tell you more than that. If you are really interested then you should ask Dumbledore about it!"

Rosaline put that thought away to ask Dumbledore later and to tried to come back to the matter at hand.

"Severus, I understand the situation you are in, but—" Before she could say more Severus cut her off.

"Do you?"

"Well no, not really! But I know one thing and it is that the other alternatives are unthinkable."

"So you think I should condemn myself to two years of hell because alternatives are worse?"

"Well, to be realistic, when it come to a choice between bad and worse I think that it is logical to choose bad, but …" She said it emphatically. "I don't think that this option is bad. Even though it might look that way to you! To me it looks like a negotiable option. An option which I think we should explore its limitations before putting it aside." She looked at Severus and at his nod she continued, "If you are worried about Mr. Dumbledore mistreating you then we can cast monitoring charms that track his treatment of you so he doesn't hurt you physically, or even magically."

"Can it also stop him from making my life hell?"

"Or we can ask him to give a Wizarding oath to not abuse his power over you."

"It is of no use. The wordings are too general for a Wizarding oath. Also, there are ways around it as it depends too much on the interpretation and beliefs of the oath taker."

Rosaline smiled gently and said, "You are very smart"

'I had to be to live this long' Severus thought, but said nothing.

There was a minute of silence where Rosaline was thinking about alternatives. "What about an unbreakable vow?" She asked at last. "It doesn't need specific wordings and it doesn't depend on the interpretation of anyone, but on the judgment of the vow itself." She tried to say it casually, but inside she wanted to scream. What has happened in this school that a student needs the reassurance of an unbreakable vow for granting the headmaster of the school permission to protect him and take care of him? It was something that the headmaster is duty-bound to do for every student.

Severus was silent as he mulled over the idea before saying. "He would not do it."

"I'll speak to him and we will see. If he is genuine in his desire to help, then he should not have any objection to it and he will accept the request. Now the question is if he agrees to it then would you accept him as your guardian?"

Severus' mind started to race. He could feel that the effects of herbal brew was vanishing slowly and he was starting to feel exhausted and sleepy. He tried to push it aside as he needed to think clearly for this.

He was almost sure that Dumbledore would not accept his condition, but if he did, was Severus ready to grant him that much power over him? A part of him rebelled at the thought. He knew the condition his body was in and the last thing he needed was for Dumbledore to see him at his weakest where he was totally dependent on him for doing even smallest thing. He didn't want to undergo that kind of humiliation. He didn't want to see Dumbledore laughing at how pathetic he was or even worse for him to tell his favorite Gryffindors, the Marauders about it. The humiliation he endured at their hands so far would be nothing compared to what he would have to endure then. The Marauders would have a field day with that kind of information. All those thoughts made him want to answer negatively to the question, but another part of him stopped it. It was the realistic part, the part that knew that he didn't have any other choice; that it was the best he could get. With Lucius or others he wouldn't have the reassurance of the vow.

Severus stayed silent for several minutes, his thoughts raging a battle against each other. In the end the logical part of his mind won. Severus looked at Rosaline and said "Yes." After saying that simple word, Severus sank deeply into the mattress as if he could not fight anymore and had given up.

Rosaline nodded. That only left speaking with Dumbledore. It was only then that she noticed how exhausted and spent Severus looked and she felt great respect and admiration towards the teenager in front of her. A boy who didn't let the world break him; a child who had had almost all the bones in his body broken, but still fought for himself. A young man, for that's what he was, who bent, but never broke; who kept his spirit; a fighter.

She got up, went beside the bed, put a hand on Severus' shoulder, and said, "Take a rest, Severus. I'll talk to headmaster and if he accepts your condition then we will come back here. Then you will sign the guardianship forms and we'll bind you and the headmaster in the vow. However, for now try to get some sleep."

She patted Severus' shoulder and with that she left the teenager and went to Headmaster's Office.

Chapter Text

She got up, went beside the bed, put a hand on Severus' shoulder, and said, "Take a rest, Severus. I'll talk to headmaster and if he accepts your condition then we will come back here. But only when you have rested some and then you'll sign the guardianship forms and we'll bind you and the headmaster in the vow, but for now try to get some sleep." 

She patted Severus' shoulder and with that she left the teenager and went to Headmaster's Office.

When Rosaline reached there she noticed that Minerva McGonagall had joined the other two and they were talking over tea and biscuits.

When she entered they all looked at her. She took her time closing the door and coming to stand behind one of the chairs in front of headmaster desk.

"Did Severus accept?" Poppy asked. Instead of answering her, Rosaline said to Dumbledore, "I want to know what happened at the end of last year."

"Nothing that is more important than the matter at hand," Dumbledore said dismissively, trying to bring back the conversation to Poppy's question.

"I believe it is as important as the matter at hand," Rosaline said sharply. "You really want to help Severus, Headmaster? If yes, then you can start by telling me what happened at the end of last year."

"Why do you want to know?" Dumbledore asked.

"Because I want to know what has transpired in this school that a student needs the reassurance of an Unbreakable Vow to grant their Headmaster permission to take care of them!"

"What?" Minerva asked.

"That's Severus' condition for accepting Mr. Dumbledore's guardianship. He believes that you will abuse the power you will have over him, and I want to know why."

"I'm sorry, but I can't tell you. It contains rather sensitive information about another student and it is not my place to disclose it," Dumbledore said diplomatically.

"I don't need any details about that student only as much as is needed to explain the situation. Also, I work in the Children's Support Services Department. My main cases are abused children. I think I can handle sensitive information just fine."

Dumbledore wanted to object more, but Poppy and Minerva's narrowed eyes stopped him. He might be able to dodge one of them, but three of them? No, he couldn't do it. He sighed and said "It is a rather long story so please take a seat." He gestured to the empty seat which Rosaline was standing behind. When she sat down he started. "I think you are aware of my efforts in trying to get better living situations for Dark Creatures and to grant them legal standing equal to that of humans?"

A sense of foreboding filled the three woman; Rosaline because she had no idea where Dumbledore was going with this and Poppy and Minerva because they had some idea where this was going.

Rosaline nodded and Dumbledore continued. "Well, one of the objections that Ministry presented was that there was no way they could be integrated into our society. But I thought it was possible, if they would be allowed from childhood to enter society; especially werewolves because except one day per month, they are human and are no danger to anyone. Therefore, after much deliberation I decided to enroll one werewolf in Hogwarts."

Rosaline gasped, her eyes wide and said, "What? How could you bring a Dark Creature to a place full of children!"

Dumbledore raised his hand and motioned for her to wait. "Please, let me finish. I took all precautions needed. I chose one who was bitten at very young age as those who are bitten young usually come to terms with it better. I chose the Shrieking Shack as the location for his transformation. It is far enough from the school for no one to go there. But I did not stop there, I also spread rumors about it being haunted and I planted Whomping Willow at its entrance so no one could get in. In all the years that he has been in school there have been no accidents."

"What about end of last year?" Rosaline asked.

"This student has managed to find himself some very good and supportive friends and since their first year a schoolyard feud had started between them and Severus." Dumbledore was trying to concentrate on his words and to choose the best way to explain the situation, but Poppy and Minerva's pale faces made it rather hard. It seemed that they caught on rather quickly to his situation. "It came to my attention that one of his said friends thought it would be a good scare if he told Severus to go to the Shrieking Shack on a full moon." Rosaline opened her mouth to say something, but Dumbledore motioned her to wait.

"None of his friends, including the student who is a werewolf, were aware of this. Nothing bad happened as when one of their more sensible friends heard about it, he went to Shrieking Shack, and got Severus out before anything happened."

When Dumbledore finished, there was a moment of silence before Poppy asked, "What?"

"Those boys! Not only could Severus have been killed, but also Remus would have been killed by the Ministry! How could they be so stupid? How could they do this to Severus let alone Remus who is their friend! I'll give them so much detention for this that they will not have one free minute outside of classes and homework." Minerva said hotly.

"There is no need for that Minerva, I have already dealt with this matter," Dumbledore said trying to calm Minerva.

"And how exactly have you dealt with it?" Rosaline asked her eyes narrowed.

"I gave the one responsible three week of detention and deducted some points from his house," Dumbledore said calmly like it was the most obvious and sensible way to deal with the matter.

"What? Only three week? And what about others?" Rosaline asked.

"Others? Nothing. Remus was as much a victim as Severus and James showed courage by going after Severus and getting him out."

"WHAT? There has been an attempt on the life of a student and this is how you dealt with it?" Rosaline asked outraged.

"I think you are exaggerating. It was only a childish, harmless, prank. Thoughtlessness on Sirius' part. Look at it for what it is!"

"Severus could have been maimed, turned, or even killed and you call it harmless prank?" This time it was Poppy who questioned him.

"Wait a minute, James? Sirius? We are talking about Doreen's boy and his friend? Am I right to assume that you didn't even inform their parents of the events?"

"I did not see any reason to inform their parents for a simple prank."

"Simple prank? So for an attempted murder you just gave three week of detention to the murderer, to his friend who got cold feet at the last minute or just found out that his friend had planned a murder and went to save his other friend from becoming an involuntary murderer, you did what? A pat on the back and a well done?" Rosaline said. She was angry and could not believe what she was hearing.

"No, I deemed it fit to reward him with some points for the bravery he showed in saving a classmate," Dumbledore said with his head held high and his jaw set.

At this point Rosaline was standing with her hands fisted at her side. Poppy and Minerva were not far behind.

"ALBUS!" Minerva nearly shouted in frustration. And Rosaline snorted antagonistically, but then asked, "What about this Remus boy?"

"I told you Remus was unaware of everything! He would never do something like that. He is always afraid that he might hurt or even worse, turn someone!"

"Well, obviously not enough to not disclose things like how to get past the Whomping Willow which was planted there so no one could get in," She said the last part sarcastically. "He gave away the information knowing full well he might endanger his friends! And he should be punished for that. After all he knows better than anyone if he turns someone what they have to go through!"

Dumbledore knew Rosaline had a point, but he also knew how acceptance is important for teenagers and so it would be very hard to not give in to the pressure that your friends or peers put on you. He was thinking about how to explain this and whether explaining will help at all. So far, it seemed the more he tried to explain the situation the less his audience understood his points. Poppy's voice broke through his thoughts.

"Wait! Why you didn't send Severus and James to the healing ward, so I could look them over?" Poppy asked with narrowed eyes.

"They were fine, Poppy! James said he stopped Severus and brought him back before he even reached Remus!"

"And what did Severus say ...oh right! You didn't ask his side of story," Rosaline said rather coldly. "And here I was telling Severus to look past this misunderstanding!" It was then that she remembered something that Severus said in their conversation. "And what did you tell Severus? He told me he can't tell me what happened."

Dumbledore sighed and said. "I swore him to secrecy."

"You did what?" Minerva said outraged.

"And if he were to reveal this information what would have become of him?" Rosaline asked with barely controlled rage. Some of the vows and oaths whether fulfilled or unfulfilled, could be dangerous to teenagers as their bodies, their minds, and their magic has not matured; especially their magic.

"Nothing of the sort you are thinking. I just threatened him with expulsion."

"Great! Not only those who tried to kill him got away with a slap on their wrists, but also he was swore to secrecy under a threat of expulsion so he could not speak about something that might have been traumatizing for him with anyone or he would be expelled, which not only causes him to lose any opportunity to create a future for himself, but also forces him to return to his abusive father! Really great! You were right; it was nothing of the sort I thought! It was worse!"

"Nothing happened which might have been traumatizing for him!" It seemed that from all the things that Rosaline said he'd just heard that part.

"You wouldn't know, because you never asked him!"

"James said –" Dumbledore started to say, but Rosaline cut him off. "James is a child, not a saint! And I have seen enough times how he lies through his teeth! Do you think, if he and the others were in on the plan he would have told you? You really think if something bad had happened there, he would not have lied to you to save his friend?"

"How could you do this, Albus?" Minerva said angrily.

"You must understand. Severus was very angry ..." Dumbledore began.

"As he should be!" Minerva said. Dumbledore ignored her.

"And I was afraid he would tell his friends about Remus' condition. It was the matter of Remus' future."

"It was a matter of Severus' life as well! Are you saying his life has less worth than Remus' future?" Poppy asked angrily. Before Dumbledore could come up with an answer to that, Minerva said.

"You could have at least punished Sirius more severely, showing Severus that you are taking this incident seriously and that you care about his life!"

"If I had punished him any more severely, others would have been curious to know the reason and they might have found out about Remus' condition. Also you, better than anyone, know about Sirius' home life and the conditions in which he grew up. I thought being too hard on him might alienate him. He needs all the support he can get."

"It seems, Headmaster, that you care about everyone's futures and needs except Severus'. Or maybe it is the matter of the House of Gryffindor versus the House of Slytherin," Rosaline said with disgust.

It seemed that she hit a nerve with that statement as Dumbledore's eyes flashed in anger. He stood up behind his desk and leaned forward with his hands on the desk. In that moment he had the bearing of the Chief Warlock of Wizengamot, the man who defeated Grindelwald. There was no trace of the grandfatherly headmaster that so many knew.

"I do care about all of my student regardless of their houses. I'll help and protect all of them, but if they deliberately put themselves in danger you cannot expect me to be there every time to save them," Dumbledore said.

"And what exactly is that supposed to mean?" Rosaline leaned forward as well with narrowed eyes.

"If Severus was not out of his dormitory after curfew this would never have happened."

"So now it is Severus' fault! Of course, it is! I am sure, it always has been his fault! As you said in hospital wing, you only punished him for the trouble he got himself into! Of course, it is his fault this time as well! Something that I'm sure you have already punished him for!" Rosaline spat sarcastically, but when she saw the flicker in Dumbledore's eyes, her eyes widened and she said shocked, "You did! You punished him!"

"I only gave him detention for three days for being out of bounds," Dumbledore said defensively.

"Why did you give him a punishment so light? After all it was his fault that a classmate tricked him and set him up to get killed! You should have punished him more severely than Sirius!" Rosaline said sarcastically.

Dumbledore wanted to defend himself when his eyes fell on the clock on the wall and he noticed that they spent near an hour and half just arguing. He stayed silent for a few moments pushing his anger aside. Then he slowly sat down, sighed, and said, "I admit that I could have handled the situation better." Minerva snorted. "But it is something that has already happened, so arguing about it is pointless. Don't you think we have more important matters to attend to?"

"What – " Poppy started, but Rosaline' response shocked them all. "You are right! We have more pressing matters to attend to." She picked up her cloak and the folder containing the documents which she had put on the table. "Matters like finding a responsible person to take Severus' guardianship."

"What? We spoke about this and there is no time to look for some one else!" Dumbledore protested.

"That was before this." She motioned to the room indicating their conversation. "Do you really think after the disregard you showed about his life I would leave him in you care? Leave a temporarily crippled boy, who needs care in all aspects, in your care? You should be grateful that I am considering things like the current situation of Wizarding World and I'm not reporting this. Merlin knows, I should. You don't have the qualifications for being headmaster of a school full of magical children. You are not qualified to care for a newt let alone being around children regardless of them being magical or not!"

"Rosaline, wait! Listen – " Minerva said, but Rosaline cut her off.

"No, Minerva! I think I have heard enough! – " Minerva who came to stand beside her, put a hand on her arm and said.

"Rosaline, I know what you are thinking! But Albus has a point! We don't have time for this. There are people out there who are after Severus. We don't know what they are up to even now! Also, even if there was time there is no guarantee that you will find someone! You have already prepared the papers with Albus name on them and Albus is in perfect position to win both cases!"

"I understand that the situation is not good, but you really expect me to leave Severus in his care" She motioned toward Dumbledore. "After all you heard just now?"

There was a glint in Minerva's eyes that Dumbledore didn't like at all, but before he could intervene, Poppy shot him a glare that made him stop. It seemed that she had caught onto Minerva's plan.

"No, what I mean is that it is not like Albus is going to take him to a unplottable remote island. He will be here! So will Poppy and I. Believe me, after today, I know what exactly to watch out for! We will make sure Severus gets all he needs!"

There was a few moments of silence, where Rosaline was thinking and others were waiting for her answer. In the end, she sighed and said. "If we are really going through with this then I have to say that I have some conditions; beside Severus' condition, of course."

Minerva nodded, motioning to her to continue. It was getting on Dumbledore' nerves how they were acting like he was not in the room, but every time he opened his mouth to say something Poppy shot him a death glare that promised a painful consequence so he was forced to remain silent.
"While the vow that Severus has asked will ensure that he doesn't abuse the power he has over him it doesn't stop him from neglecting his duties and Severus' needs so I want another Unbreakable Vow. As there is the possibility that we have missed some other points in the vow, Mr. Dumbledore needs to consent to a Monitoring Charm and weekly appointments for me to check on Severus' condition personally," Rosaline said formally.

"Those conditions are very reasonable, aren't they, Albus?" Minerva said encouragingly.

Any objection Albus might have had died on his lips as three angry witches turned to him; giving him death glares. Minerva and Poppy's look promised painful death if he dared to say anything other than yes. He had no problem with Unbreakable Vows, as he had no intention of abusing or neglecting Severus, but the concept of being monitored didn't sit well with him. His guilt in the way he treated Severus these past five years was one of the reasons that he didn't outright rejected the offer. He really wanted to make up for it by helping Severus. Another reason was the two women in the room. After years of working together, Poppy and Minerva had become good friends of his. So far they always had an easy relationship, but now both of them were very angry with him. He would never admit it, but it stung that they didn't trust him enough now to accept his verbal promise and they needed an Unbreakable Vow.

When he looked at the problem this way he saw that actually he didn't have much of a choice. If he wanted to help Severus, he had to take his guardianship and if this was the only way that Rosaline would allow him to have Severus' guardianship then he would accept. After all, a Monitoring Charm can always be canceled. So he would consent now and after gaining Rosaline's trust would ask the charm to be lifted. Anyway, it would be better to back down now. This way he can have an advantage if he wanted to make a move later on. He knew how to choose his battles. Therefore he answered calmly with a smile. "Of course. I have no plan to take advantage of my position or neglect my duties, so I have no problem with these conditions. If it is the best way to ensure that Severus gets the help he need, then so be it."

Rosaline nodded tersely. She was frowning. She was finding it hard to believe Dumbledore was genuine. She thought that Dumbledore's sudden consent was suspicious and that he had a hidden motive for it. Nonetheless she proceeded with the preparation for guardianship. After the Unbreakable Vow and monitoring charms were cast, all four of them made their way toward hospital wing. They reached it just in time to witness Severus in the throes of a nightmare.

With his body being too weak to move, Severus just kept shaking his head from side to side. He was sweating and his breath was very shallow. While the four adults came quickly to Severus' bedside, the three women, in an unspoken agreement, looked to Dumbledore to handle the situation.

Dumbledore, feeling like a student performing in front of examiners, gently sat on the side of bed. When calling Severus' name didn't work, Dumbledore put a hand on Severus' shoulder, but seeing Severus' flinch, he withdrew his hand immediately. After a moment of contemplation he put his hand on Severus' head and despite the flinch, he kept it there. Then he slowly started to caress his hair and called his name again. After a few moments Severus started to calm down and his eyelids fluttered. Dumbledore took his hand away as if he was about to get caught doing something illegal. He stood up and looked at three witches behind him to see whether he had passed their test. Apparently, what they saw had satisfied them ...for now as their eyes were still blazing with anger.

~~oOo~~

Severus came to consciousness slowly. He had a nightmare. He could still see it vividly in his mind, but the details were slowly fading. He remembered that he was with his father in their house again. But Lucius was there as well, and so were the Marauders. They were all taking turns hexing and mocking him, but that was not the worst of it. Suddenly a voice said. "Now it is my turn" And there she was; red hair like fire and green eyes which were shining from amusement. Her lips twitched for a moment like she was going to smile as she had done when Potter had him hanging upside down. She raised her wand and Crucioed him, but it didn't hurt as much as the words she uttered next hurt.

"What is it? Little Snivellus can't take a little pain? Look he is going to cry! Like the sniveling slim he is! What did you think? That I cared about you? You are really pathetic. You think I would love you, when someone like James is here?" Here she took Potter's hand in hers. "You are nothing! I just pitied you and decided to give you a little attention like people do to a stray dog! I wanted to care for you; like I would a pet. But pets that bite the hand that feeds them don't deserve to live! So you are going to be the first meal I am giving to my new pet." She looked behind him and when Severus turned and he found himself face to face with a fully transformed werewolf. Severus opened his mouth to scream, but no sound came out.

He tried to crawl backward, but he could not move. His limbs felt like lead. Suddenly the werewolf jumped on him. Its legs were on either side of Severus. The the wolf raised its front leg and put it on Severus' shoulder. Severus shuddered and tried to move, but suddenly the paw was gone and there was a hand on his head which startled Severus as there was no one near his head only the beast. The hand started to stroke his hair and Severus knew who it was: his mother. His mother always caressed his hair like that. No one else ever looked at his hair with anything other than disgust, let alone touch it. Even Lily, during the whole time they had been friends was always careful to not touch his hair, but his mother did.

It actually made sense. Only his mother would care enough to come and save him. And she was calling him. Severus didn't care that the voice was nothing like his mother's – it must be after one of HIS beatings. Her voice was usually hoarse after those beatings. It was then that Severus noticed that the hellhole, everyone in it, and the beast were gone. Next moment he became aware of the fact that he was in a bed. He tried to open his eyes in hopes of seeing his mother once more, but the next moment the hand was gone. 'Of course, mother can't follow me to the world of living. She is dead. She can't be with me in the real world; not anymore.' Severus thought bitterly. A lump formed in his throat. But before he could even think of giving into his emotions, his hyperactive senses alerted him that he was not alone.
Severus with all his might quashed his emotions. When he was sure he was in control again he slowly opened his eyes. The sight that greeted him was not necessarily a pleasant sight that one would like to face upon waking, but it was not unexpected. However, what was surprising was the expressions on the four adult in front of him. Dumbledore had a grim expression on his face. There was no trace of grandfatherly smile he always had plastered on his face. The three witches were trying to look composed, but Severus could see that their eyes were blazing in anger especially when they happened to glance at Dumbledore.

Severus was really curious about the cause of this new development and he thought about different ways he could bring it up and try to get some answers. In the end he decided to not mention it at all because now they had more important things to discuss. Also, if things went well, then he could always try to find out from Madam Pomfrey what had happened. The Matron seemed to like him and out of four adults, she was the one he had more chance of getting some answers out of. But it would have to be done when they were not under scrutiny of the other three adults.

"As you all have come, am I right to assume that my condition was accepted?" Severus started his tone dispassionate.

"Oh, yes," McGonagall said with a gleam in her eyes. The response surprised Severus. He was not sure what to make of it. A look at the other adults didn't shed any light on the matter so reluctantly Severus put it aside to contemplate later.

"So what happens now?" He tried to appear calm, but his mind was in chaos and if he was not so lethargic he might have started to hyperventilate. When he said he would accept Dumbledore's guardianship he thought he was ready for it. But now, really facing it he found himself terrified. He didn't think about the implications of it. He couldn't say that he changed his mind as it would bring back all the problems which had led them to this. Also his pride wouldn't let him to go back on his word. As much as he wanted to run away and hide in a hole he knew that now he had to go through with this.

"First let me check to see whether you are up to this," Madam Pomfrey said.

When Pomfrey declared him well enough, Rosaline stepped in and explained about the procedure of making an Unbreakable Vow. Then they discussed the wordings of the vow and when all were satisfied, the Unbreakable Vow was cast. When Severus was signing the guardianship form he felt like he was walking towards his execution; no it was worse. It was like he was giving consent to be tortured first then executed. Nothing good ever came from adults in his life, except his mother, and now, he was giving one of those said adults more power over him. Even though Severus had the reassurance of the vow that Dumbledore would not – could not – abuse his power, he could not help but feel like he had signed his torture warrant. Knowing something was much different than having to face it.

When all was done, Rosaline and Dumbledore departed to Ministry to file both cases. Before going Rosaline told Severus to be ready, as the examination procedure will most likely take place in the next few days. McGonagall patted his hand and left with the promise of checking on Severus later. After that Madam Pomfrey gave Severus a series of potions and Severus, exhausted in all aspects, surrendered to sleep; a sleep which he was not sure whether he would like waking from ever.

Chapter Text

Dumbledore sat behind his desk, exhausted. He and Rosaline had spent the whole day at the Ministry, trying to solve both the abuse and suicide cases. The first thing they did was to use the guardianship form to block any claim Severus' father had on Severus and his belongings. It was a temporary solution. A more permanent solution would be gained through winning the abuse case.

All day, Dumbledore used all his connections to quicken the procedure and to make it less of a problem. So far things went smoothly, more or less. The only serious problem they faced was when an employee claimed that according to rules Severus must stay the duration of abuse case in an orphanage, but considering that he had attempted to commit suicide as well, he needed to stay in St. Mungo's mental ward. Fortunately for them, Rosaline had read the exact rules and their history and knew there had been cases in which a child remained with a member of their family or their guardians. Some fast talking on her part and some looking up the rules on the employees part was enough to convince him. The only thing he told them was that he had to inform his superior and get his signature for ignoring that part of the procedure. His superior upon hearing the name Dumbledore signed willingly and even went so far as reprimanding his subordinate for insisting on executing the law.

Thinking back on all they achieved today made him sigh. The physical and magical examination were set to take place on the day after tomorrow. The Ministry is supposed to appoint someone for them by tomorrow since by the time they had gotten all the signatures necessary for an examination the employee who sets the appointments with the healers had gone home. So they couldn't speak with him about setting Poppy as the examiner healer. 'No matter, we can do it tomorrow. It will be rather easy in comparison with all we have had to accomplish today.' He thought to himself.

He was totally exhausted and all he wanted to do was to take a rest, but one look at the pile of paperwork on his desk was enough to dissuade him. So instead he sat to work on the letters and documents which needed his attention, starting with the most urgent ones. However, after spending half an hour staring at the starting line of a letter from Ministry he came to the conclusion that he could not get anything done, even rest, when his thoughts were still on the teenager who had recently became his ward. With a sigh and a resigned look at the papers he cleared his desk and went to Hospital Wing to get the latest news on condition of the aforementioned teenager.

When he reached the healing wards, he went directly to the curtained area surrounding Severus' bed. He stood there for some time gazing at the sleeping teenager. Every time he looked at those young features an unknown emotion rose in him. It was rather unsettling. He was confused as he had never before needed to dissect his emotions to understand how he felt about something. After what felt like an hour, but in reality was only five minutes he shook his head and went to the Matron's office.

Upon reaching the open door of the office he found Poppy and Minerva in the middle of a discussion. He cleared his throat to gain their attention and said, "I came to ask about Severus. How is he?"

Poppy sighed and said. "He is still weak, but he is on the mend. I am a little worried about his immune system. Also, I don't know how much his growth physically and magically has been affected by abuse and malnutrition. Considering what Severus has undergone for all those years I think his body is coping much better than one would expect. But either way, I'm going to monitor that to make sure he recovers as completely as possible."

Dumbledore nodded as he came inside the office and sat down.

"What happened at Ministry?" Minerva asked.

"Well, so far we managed to file both cases and get the examinations scheduled for the day after tomorrow. All in all, everything went better than I hoped."

"Who is going to perform the examinations? Did you tell them about me doing it?"

"No, Poppy. By the time we got the required signatures for the examination, the employee setting the appointments for the healer was gone. So we are going to do that tomorrow."

Both women nodded their head. Then Minerva said. "Just before you came, Poppy and I were talking about what happens after examination."

"Well, for both cases –" Albus started, but Minerva cut him off.

"No, Albus. What happens to Severus after examination?" She asked with a pointed look.

"Well, he can stay here until both cases are resolved. Rosaline and I made sure he can stay in Hospital Wing –" Albus said, but this time Poppy cut him off.

"Here? Where everyone can come and go?" She asked with an edge to her voice.

Understanding shone in Albus eyes and he said. "No, I was going to ask house elves to prepare a room for him."

"In your chambers?" Minerva asked.

"Actually, I had a room near hospital wing in my mind so that Poppy can check on him easily." Albus said.

Truth was that he had thought about the need to make a room for Severus in his chambers as he needed a place to stay during the summer. But he had hoped it would not be anytime soon.

Both witches in front of him wanted to face palm at hearing that statement. Minerva said with sigh, "Albus, Severus doesn't need Poppy to check on him all day! But he does need attention and help from someone, and as his guardian it falls to you to be there for him. I thought you understood that when Rosaline told you."

"Also there is the fact that he needs help using bathroom and I think he would be less embarrassed if someone of the same gender helped him." Poppy said.

"I understood what Rosaline said, but do you really think Severus wants me to help him eat, take potions, and use the bathroom?" Albus asked.

"It is not a matter of what he wants. It is a matter of what he needs. I'm sure he would prefer to do all that by himself, but the fact is that he cannot. Not at least for a month. Maybe even more," Poppy said.

Albus nodded and said "Alright, I will tell the house elves to prepare a room in my chambers."

"Yes, better tell them as soon as possible. They have a lot of work to do since all things should be ready by the day after tomorrow." Minerva said.

"By the day after tomorrow? Why so soon?"

"Albus, you said yourself that we don't know how many people want him and that we don't know what they will do! By tomorrow all those people will know he gave you his guardianship!" Poppy said.

"So will most of the Slytherins, I bet." Minerva muttered.

Albus sighed and said. "Yes, it is logical to move him after the examination."

"I think we need to go shopping as well." Minerva said.

"Yes, I thought about that. He will need everything, but I thought it would be better to get only things that are necessary for now and get the rest after a talk with him. After all, we don't know the type or color of the things he may want."

Minerva and Poppy shared an approving look before Poppy said. "And don't forget about his old stuff and his wand. They must still be somewhere in that cursed house. I think they might have sentimental value for him."

Both Minerva and Albus nodded. There was a moment of silence, before Minerva got up and said, "Well, we better go. It is almost time for dinner. After dinner I will prepare a list of all we will need to buy tomorrow. Also I need to mark some assignments."

"You are right; we should go. After dinner I need to speak with the house elves about what they need to put in Severus' room." Albus said, and with a sigh, he followed her out of office. He thought about his comfortable bed, but then remembered the piles of paperwork all which were marked urgent. He sighed again. Tonight was going to be a long night.

~oOo~

Tomorrow came in a blink of an eye, at least for Dumbledore, who had been working late. After a rather short staff meeting and an even shorter appearance at breakfast, Dumbledore went to his office where he flooed to the Ministry.

He found Rosaline already waiting on the other side and together they went for the appointment of the healer. The employee, Mr. Gobson, informed them that the schedule of all healers were full until next week. Thinking that it would be to their advantage, they pressed to set Madame Pomfrey as the examiner. However, Mr. Gobson had other ideas. He refused on the grounds that she was not an examination healer or even a healer under contract to the Ministry so she could not be trusted with such delicate matters. No matter how much they argued, they couldn't sway him.

Dumbledore decided to call in a favor from a previous student in hopes of better result, but before going he noticed Rosaline motioning him to follow her. They went to a secluded area and, after casting a privacy charm, Rosaline turned to Dumbledore and said, "It won't work."

"I know there is not a high chance of success, but we have to do something. Next week is too late."

"Exactly! I think that's why he is refusing to set Poppy as the examiner!"

"You think he deliberately wants to delay the case?"

"Yes, we filed the guardianship and both cases yesterday and pulled a fast one over them. Now they are trying to buy time so they have time to come up with an alternative. Honestly, considering both the number of healers working for ministry and the number of abuse cases which need examination he didn't even try to come up with a believable lie."

"So what can we do?"

"I don't know." There was a few minutes of silence before a feminine voice called from the other side of hallway.

"Rosaline!"

Rosaline quickly cancelled the privacy charm and after an apologetic look at Dumbledore made her way toward the energetic witch who had made her way toward them.

"There you are! Where have you been these last few days?"

"Hi, Maureen. How are you?"

"I'm fine. Well, today I am fine, but yesterday I was not feeling well. One of the clients was an awful stupid old man who shouted at me! And for something that I even didn't do! Can you believe it? He kept shouting how stupid and incompetent I am. People were gathering and I was so embarrassed. I was on the verge of tears when Edvin came. He defended me and escorted him out. Such a gentleman! You remember Edvin, right? You know the cute boy who was transferred to our section last month. He is such a gentle soul. You know last week we had a problem with sending messages to other departments; some sort of charm interference or something. So all the messages stopped in front of the elevator. The guy who usually take care of these things, you know the charmer guy …well he is actually a real charmer!" She giggled. "Anyway, he was on leave, so obviously they brought an incompetent fool who made everything worse by causing the messages to attack people. His supervisor threw a fit, understandably so, but then…."

Rosaline sighed mentally. Sometimes she wondered how Maureen managed to go on and on without drawing a breath. She was thinking about how to interrupt her and tell her she had urgent matters to attend to when something she said caught her attention.

"Supervisor?"

"Yes, the employees who supervises people who work temporarily for a short period for Ministry."

As a plan formed in Rosaline's mind, a smile formed on her lips. She moved forward quickly and gave Maureen a tight hug. "You are the best, you know that?"

Then she took off fast, leaving a confused Maureen behind. Looking around for Dumbledore, she found him talking to an employee not far away. As if sensing her eyes on him, he looked up and their eyes met. Rosaline motioned for him to follow her again. Dumbledore, after exchanging a few words with the employee, joined her and they made their way towards the exit.

"Am I right to presume you have an idea?"

"Yes, our best hope is to get a permit for appointing a supervisor for Poppy for the examination. It is not customary to set a supervisor for an examiner, but it is not against law to do so. So if we manage to get a permit our problem will be solved."

They spent the next three hours in a blur of talking to different people and trying to convince them with excuses about why it was so important for Severus get an examination as soon as possible and why no healer was available. In the end, they managed to get the permit and came back to Mr. Gobson who was angry at the turn of events, but didn't have any excuse to refuse their request. The only thing remaining was appointing the supervisor. Mr. Gobson left his desk to find out which supervisor had free time tomorrow.

After fifteen minutes he returned and informed them that the only one available was a Mr. Wolfing. At the mention of name Wolfing, Dumbledore noticed that Rosaline's face contorted in fury while there was a smug smirk on Mr. Gobson's lips. He knew if he didn't do something Rosaline would say something which they were all going to regret. He gently touched her arm and when she turned he motioned for her to go to a secluded area. When they reached it Dumbledore cast a privacy charm then turned to Rosaline and asked, "Who is he?"

"Someone who I don't trust to pass within a hundred meters of a child! That ...that …he knew! He knew that if he appointed Wolfing, I would withdraw my request!"

"We can't withdraw it. We need to proceed with both cases as soon as possible."

"I know! But really …you really want to put Severus through an examination with a supervisor who is going to spend the whole time ogling him? You know already how hard it is for him! How do you think he will feel when that wretched man stands there the whole time and stares at him? And the fact is that the problem doesn't end there. That man …he..." Rosaline had a problem finding suitable words to finish her sentence. Dumbledore touched her arm to reassure her and said, "Rosaline, I'll be there the whole time and I'll keep him in line." At the look on Rosaline's face Dumbledore sighed and said, "I know it is bad, but it is the lesser of two evils."

After some pondering, Rosaline sighed and said, "I guess there is no other way, but I am serious about the problem not ending there. That man cannot be trusted. There is even the possibility of him being in same league as You-Know-Who. I cannot be there. Only the healer and, if they want, the family or guardians can be present. Obviously those who are not under suspicion of abuse. So it will be only you and Poppy."

Dumbledore nodded and said. "And I am sure we can handle him." Rosaline nodded and they returned to Mr. Gobson's desk.

When they informed Mr. Gobson he could finalize the documents it was clear that he was very surprised, but there was nothing he could do about it. Everything was set for tomorrow.

Upon returning to his office Dumbledore fire-called Poppy and informed her of the events. As Severus was sleeping at the time the task of telling him about his examination fell to Poppy.

~oOo~

The next morning everything had to be ready by eight. Severus was lying naked under the white bed sheet. Madam Pomfrey had taken his hospital gown so things could be done as fast as possible. She was very professional about the whole ordeal, but Severus couldn't reverse his despair when the Matron explained the procedure the night before. He felt exposed lying in the bed naked. All his bandages had been removed to speed up the process. The only parts that were covered were his arms and part of his legs which were broken. They were in casts to prevent the bone from moving. Apparently, his condition has been so bad that his broken bones were considered an insignificant injury and had been left to treat later.

At 8:30 sharp, the doors to hospital wing opened and Dumbledore entered with another man. Dumbledore was wearing a yellow robe with twinkling stars on it. The man with him who introduced himself as Mr. Wolfing was of average height. He was wearing a smart formal black robe with the Ministry logo on his chest. He had light brown hair which were slicked back and a heart shaped face. Over all, he could have been considered good looking and warm except for his eyes. Any positive emotions in regards to him evaporated the moment you met his eyes. Eyes that spoke of a new level of inhumanity and ruthlessness. Eyes that turned hungry when they fell on Severus.

Dumbledore put the package he brought with him on the nightstand and stood at Severus's side. His face was grim. After five minutes of spending time in Mr. Wolfing's company, Dumbledore understood the reason behind Rosaline's apprehension. Dumbledore was almost certain Mr. Wolfing is at least closely acquainted with Voldemort, if not one of his active followers. The way he looked at Severus confirmed this suspicion to some extent. True, he was leering at Severus' form, but the glint in his eyes spoke of finding a well hidden treasure. Dumbledore wanted to hex the man which said something about the integrity of the man's character or lack thereof, considering how rarely Dumbledore gave into his emotions especially his anger and that he'd only met the man about five minutes ago.

When Dumbledore noticed how Mr. Wolfing was glancing at the door of Hospital Wing from corner of his eyes, he took a step toward Severus' bed in a protective gesture. Apparently, that was enough to convince Mr. Wolfing that there is no way for him to get out with his prize. So he started to explain the procedure to Severus – to buy time, Dumbledore was sure. When Poppy told him that she had already explained the procedure, an irritated Mr. Wolfing started the procedure by asking Poppy to swear the necessary oath and sign the papers. Afterward, Mr. Wolfing, with a hungry eyes and a smug smirk, gripped the bottom of the sheet covering Severus, and said, "Fine then, lets begin."

Severus' eyes widened in panic and he opened his mouth to protest, but then Dumbledore stopped Wolfing by putting a hand on his arm and said calmly, "Now, I think that won't be necessary. After all, Poppy cannot examine his whole body at the same time. I think it would be better if we did upper body and lower body separately."

With a jerk Wollfing withdrew his hand and said with a sneer, "Of course."

Poppy uncovered his upper body, and so began the torturous physical examination. She examined each part, talking aloud about the injuries and scars which were recorded by the magical quill of the Ministry. The cast on his arm was removed temporarily for examination and then replaced. Dumbledore helped to maneuver Severus's body whenever it was necessary and spent the rest of time looking at Wolfing so he does not get any ideas.

By the time the examination of his upper body was finished, Severus was squirming under the predatory gaze of the Ministry employee. Knowing the hardest part for Severus is about to start, Dumbledore covered Severus's upper body again, before he sat down beside Severus on the bed, and started to talk to him quietly as to not disturb Poppy's examination.

"Severus, after the examination, you will be moved to your room in my chambers. I hope you don't mind, because Minerva and I took the liberty of decorating the room and getting some things for you. Of course, you can change them later on if you want. But before that I brought you some pajamas, so you can be comfortable when you go to your room." During his talk Dumbledore kept a close eye on the procedure and Wolfing. The moment Poppy was done with Severus's private parts he immediately adjusted the sheets to cover him without stopping his speech or breaking eye contact with Severus. Dumbledore picked up the package he previously had put on the nightstand and opened it. Inside the package was a set of soft looking pajamas in a navy blue color.

"Do you like the color? Minerva picked it out. I have to admit it was not what I would have picked, but she insisted," Dumbledore continued as if the color of their pajamas was one of the most important decisions in anyone's life. If anything, Severus was thankful that McGonagall had chosen the pajamas. He didn't want to even think about what Dumbledore would have picked for him, considering the man's taste in clothing. When Severus noticed how Dumbledore was still going on about how he thought the color is too dark, he said weakly, "It is fine."

"Oh. You think it is fine? Alright then let me help you with your top first," Dumbledore got up and positioned his body to block Severus' body from Wolfing's eyes. Then he turned the sheets down and very gently helped Severus to put on his top pajamas.

By the time they were done, Severus was out of breath and Poppy was finished with Severus' lower body and had covered him again.

Except for the one sentence, Severus was silent the whole time. He didn't want to be, but he was grateful for what Dumbledore had done. Even though Severus found Dumbledore's long talk about how navy blue was not a suitable color for pajamas, ridiculous as it was; it managed to distract him efficiently, as in his weakened state, he needed to focus all of his energy just to follow the conversation.

In comparison, the process of magical examination was done so fast that Severus didn't even notice time passing. Mr. Wolfing and Poppy left to go to the Ministry to report on the examination. Dumbledore, after helping Severus with his pajama bottoms, sat in a chair beside his bed. Both of them remained silent with Severus being too overwhelmed to speak and Dumbledore not knowing how to comfort him.

Chapter Text

By the time Pomfrey returned it was near lunch. She explained that based on the evidence a hearing would be held after the suicide case was closed. One look at Severus was enough to make her worry, especially when she noticed the disturbed look in his eyes.

She crouched beside his bed and put a hand on his shoulder. Severus flinched at her touch, but she disregarded it and asked, "Severus, are you alright?"

It took Severus a few moments to answer and then he said in a small voice. "I want to take a bath."

The adults exchanged angry looks. It was not lost on them why Severus wanted a bath. Though Poppy had to admit that after what Severus went through for the last three months, a bath was needed. After all, cleaning and freshening charms could only go so far.

She tried to control her emotions lest Severus think she was angry with him. When she felt calm enough again she said with a small smile, "Of course! After we move you to your room, Albus can help you to take a bath. However, we need to be careful about the casts on your hands and feet. Tomorrow, I can give you the Skele-Gro potion so that we can get rid of these casts. How will that be?"

Severus didn't answer as he had stopped listening after hearing the first part. though nothing had happened during the examination, he couldn't help but feel dirty. That's why he brought up the subject of taking a bath, but after he heard that Dumbledore was going to help him he felt conflicted. He was so overcome with what had happened during the examination that he forgot momentarily the state he was in. After Pomfrey said Dumbledore will help him, he felt stupid, bringing up taking a bath without thinking about the implications. Of course, he needed help. Now by talking without thinking he had to go through the humiliation of Dumbledore helping him take a bath.

He might have willingly given the headmaster his guardianship and he was grateful for what he had done during the examination, but this ...this was something else. It needed a certain level of trust in the headmaster, which Severus didn't feel. This was something that Severus was not prepared to do. Everything was going too fast for him to really digest. In the last few days, sometimes he felt like he was watching the events from an outsider's view. One moment he was there, feeling completely logical considering options, analyzing situations, and making decisions. It was like it was not something that would affect him. Then the moment would pass and he felt hypersensitive to reality and the hell that was his life. It was like a bucket of cold water over his head. During the examination his feeling were distant. He felt them, but they were dulled. It was like he only truly realized what has transpired after the examination was over.

And now this new intimacy with which Dumbledore behaved around him….it overwhelmed him. It was hard enough for Severus to accept to be completely dependent on someone. But for that person to be Dumbledore – the man who didn't care about his life for the past five years and the man who, now, acted like Severus was one of his favorite Gryffindors – it was even harder for Severus to digest or to accept. And everything was going too fast for him to comprehend the depth of events. He was not ready for this. So, he opened his mouth to tell the matron that he had changed his mind that he didn't want a bath, because he couldn't go through with it. But he couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to actually deny wanting a bath. He certainly didn't want to go though with taking a bath with Dumbledore 'helping him', but he couldn't forget the look the ministry employee has given him either. He felt like dirt was crawling under his skin like a worm. A hand on his shoulder startled him and made the hand leave, but it was enough to bring him out of his conflicted thoughts. Apparently, he had been thinking for some time, because when he looked around he found the stretcher by his bed and it looked as if everything was ready to move him. He then noticed that Dumbledore was talking and focused on the words coming out of the headmaster's mouth.

"….for moving, since it is the lunch time and almost everyone is in Great Hall."

When he noticed they were waiting for a response from him, he nodded once. After moving him to the stretcher with a Mobilicorpus, they started moving through the empty corridors of the castle towards the headmaster's office. Severus didn't notice his environment as he was too occupied dreading what was coming. He only came back to reality when he was moved from the stretcher to a bed.

Pomfrey left after reminding Dumbledore about important things he needs to consider and giving some healing potion which should be added to the bath water. Dumbledore left him alone for a minute to prepare the bath. Too soon – in Severus' opinion – the moment arrived for the bath. After taking off his pajamas, Dumbledore moved him using the stretcher and levitated him into the bathtub. The water was warm and relaxing. The potions in the water soothed his aching body, but Severus could not relax completely. It was good to feel clean after a few months of living at Spinner's End. Yet Severus couldn't enjoy it as the feeling of humiliation overpowered it. To give the headmaster credit, he was very professional about the whole affair, but by that time Severus was falling apart at the seams. He knew the last thing he needed right now was to humiliate himself further by breaking down in front of Dumbledore. So instead of relaxing, Severus put all his energy to keep himself together for the duration of his bath.

After the bath, Dumbledore dried him with towels – Madam Pomfrey's orders were to not use magic on him if it could be done without it. He redressed Severus in the pajamas and put him in bed. After covering him with a blanket, Dumbledore stood there for a moment unsure of what to say or do. He then patted Severus on his shoulder gently and left with a, "Sleep well."

The door was almost closed behind him when Severus couldn't stop the first sob from making its way out. He immediately held his breath to see whether Dumbledore had heard him or not, but when the old man didn't come back, Severus presumed he had not heard – 'or he didn't care' said a voice in his head. Only then Severus stopped suppressing his emotions and sobs started to wrack his body. Tears flowed from his eyes down the side of his face and into his hair. He wasn't even strong enough to brush them away. It made him cry even harder. For life after his return was supposed to be easier, not harder. His dignity was the last thing he had left and after the events of last term even that hadn't remained unscathed. So Severus cried and cried; for things he had lost, for things that he didn't have in the first place, and for the future which would be very bleak if the past few days were any indication.

Outside of Severus' door, Dumbledore stood not knowing what to do. He wanted to comfort Severus as he could see how upset he was. However, as in the Hospital Wing, he didn't know what to say or what to do. Especially now. He knew that he was part of the reason Severus was crying right now. It was true that in the end Severus gave him his guardianship, but Severus' condition for doing so showed his opinion of Dumbledore clearly. Also, the fact that Severus waited until he left the room before starting to cry, showed how Severus didn't want him there. The boy was very private and Dumbledore knew that he was the worst person that could go in and try to comfort him. So with a sigh, he went back to his office and sat down behind his desk. He tried to convince himself that he did the right thing; that his action was logical; that Severus didn't want him to be there. However, he could not help feeling uneasy about leaving Severus like that.

A knock at the door to his office, distracted him from thoughts of Severus. After permission, Minerva entered the office.

"Poppy told me about what happened and I came to see how Severus was doing. Is he awake?"

The uneasy feeling returned and Dumbledore tried to smother it pretending everything was normal.

"I gave him a bath and then I left him to rest."

Minerva nodded and wanted to ask more, but she paused when she noticed the tightness around Albus' mouth. If it was anyone else, they wouldn't have noticed such a small change in Albus' expression, but after working with him for so long, as his deputy, she did notice. Albus was someone who didn't usually show his emotions, so Minerva had learned to rely on noticing small signs in his facial expression or body language in hopes of getting an idea what was going on in his head. It was why the tightness around mouth made her pause. It was obvious that something was not right, but she won't get anything out of Albus if his answer just now was any indication.

So instead she moved toward the doorway connecting his office to his quarters and said, "I'm going to check on him then."

"Don't," Albus said.

Minerva raised an eyebrow at him in answer and when Albus didn't elaborate she asked, "Why?"

Albus looked uneasy for a moment before he said, "Because he is crying."

"Then why are you not in there comforting him?" Minerva demanded.

"Because he doesn't want me there." Minerva raised both eyebrows in answer which made Albus sigh.

"Minerva, he wouldn't even look at me all the while we were in the Hospital Wing waiting for Poppy to come back and also while I was giving him a bath. He waited before I was out of his room before he started to cry. Not that I blame him. I do not think he will come to trust me anytime soon. We need to give him time. Also, he is a very private boy and you know how boys are. They don't want to seem weak and I don't want to embarrass him by going there when he doesn't want me to see him crying."

"Albus, he is a boy who was abused his whole life! He lost his mother and only friend both recently. He is a boy who hasn't had time to grieve, considering he was being tortured by his father. A boy whose privacy was invaded today by a lecherous man. A boy who had to give his guardianship to a man he doesn't trust. The same man who previously showed him he doesn't care. The same man who he now depends on for every basic need. It is natural that he is upset. It is normal that he doesn't want you there. But this trust issue is something you need to take care of now or there never will be a time when he trusts you."

"I know Minerva, but –"

Minerva cut him off. "No, buts! Albus Percival Wolfric Brian Dumbledore, go in there and do something right now!"

It was rare that Minerva called him by his full name so he knew that she was serious. That combined with the uneasy feeling in his stomach made him to get up and go into Severus' room without protest or delay.

He knocked gently, but when he got no answer, he opened door quietly and peeked inside. Severus was still crying, although instead of sobbing loudly now, he was crying quietly. Dumbledore stood there for few moments contemplating how to approach the upset teenager. Unbidden, a memory rose in his mind of a time long forgotten. It was a memory of his mother comforting Aberforth. It was sometime before– Dumbledore quickly stopped that line of thinking and instead focused on his memory of his mother. Instantly the feeling of jealousy filled his mind. It was in his teenage years that he came to realize he and Aberforth were too different. They saw things differently. He always thought he was in the right and Aberforth was in the wrong. Only later he came to understand how wrong he was. However, even at that time he couldn't help being jealous of his brother. Of the deep bond that Aberforth shared with their mother, their father ...and with Ariana; especially with Ariana. He was jealous of how close they were and how she looked at Aberforth with admiration. Albus would have done anything to make her look at him like that even changing the world. And after her accident he was ready to do that. Only years later he came to understand his own folly. An understanding which came at a heavy cost.

'It is not the time for past regrets.' He thought to himself. To stop that line of thinking he first cleared his mind and then he brought the memory to the front of his mind. This time he was ready and quenched the feeling of jealousy immediately and instead focused on his mother's approach and behavior with the eyes of an outsider. He then recalled several similar experience and analyzed them. Coming up with a plan he slowly made his way toward Severus' bed.

It was clear Severus was still caught up in his mind for he didn't react in any way to Dumbledore's approach. Dumbledore sat on the bed, leaning back against the headboard. Severus did notice the sinking of the bed for his breath hitched and his eyes jumped to Dumbledore. His eyes widened and then he held his breath as if waiting for something.

Dumbledore bent side way and gently gathered Severus in his arms – ignoring the flinch – and positioned him in his lap in a way that Severus' head was on his left shoulder. Severus held his neck stiffly. The rest of his body was almost limp. When Dumbledore didn't get any further reaction from Severus, he slowly hugged the teenager with one hand moving in comforting circles on his back and his other hand caressing his hair. "It is OK to be weak sometimes and to need help especially for you who were strong for too long."

There was a moment of silence before a sob escaped Severus' mouth and he started crying anew. The sound was muffled as Severus was crying into Dumbledore's robe. It was like Dumbledore's words had broken a dam somewhere inside of Severus for he was sobbing even harder than before. The sobs were so strong that they shook his body. While trying to comfort Severus, Dumbledore felt one of Severus' hands gripping the front of his robe. Thinking that crying for too long was not good for Severus, Dumbledore doubled his efforts to calm the injured boy. He started murmuring to Severus that everything was going to be fine repeatedly.

He saw a movement from corner of his eye and turned his head to the door . He found Minerva standing in the doorway with a satisfied gleam in her eyes. He nodded at her in acknowledgement. She nodded back and turned to leave, closing the door behind her.

~~oOo~~

Severus didn't know how much time passed since Dumbledore gave him a bath and left him on his bed. He just cried and cried. He couldn't stop it. It was like all events in his life has accumulated to this point and now Severus couldn't stop until he was releasing every suppressed emotions in regard to those events. He was so deep in his feeling of misery that he didn't notice he wasn't alone until he felt the corner of the bed sink. He turned his head and saw with his blurry eyes that it was Dumbledore of all people. His eyes widened and he held his breath, knowing for sure that Dumbledore was going to comment about how pathetic he was. Imagine his shock when the next action of the headmaster was to pick him up gently from the bed and hold him to his chest. He stiffened at the touch – well, only his neck – and his breath hitched.

It was a strange feeling. Part of him was analyzing the headmaster's motive for such an action, while another part of him was enjoying the hug. Severus mostly hated physical touch. It was because the only reason people usually wanted to touch him was to hurt him. The only people he trusted to touch him were his mother who he knew loved him unreservedly and Lily, who other than taking his hands when they were kids, rarely touched him. He didn't trust Dumbledore and had it been a year ago he would have been protesting to be let go. But it was not a year ago. Now, after spending three months with his father without any human contact, he craved it. He knew it was pathetic and that this was going to hurt him in the end, but he couldn't stop wanting it especially after he felt how gently Dumbledore had picked him up and held him close. So despite his better judgment, Severus tried his best to cry quietly and to stay still because he didn't want it to end. It was more than a year since anyone had held him like that. The last time it was his mother, but now she was dead. It felt good to be held, but somewhere in his heart Severus came to the conclusion that it was a dream. It must be. Most probably he had cried himself to sleep for there was no other explanation for Dumbledore's behavior. Dumbledore wouldn't ever touch a greasy Slytherin. No one ever had except his mother.

Dumbledore changed his position and now his face was buried in Dumbledore's shoulder and the headmaster was caressing his back and his hair. It felt nice. His mother had always held him the same way with his head on her shoulder. When he thought nothing could surprise him more he heard the words that the headmaster was saying. His mother had once said something similar to him that he was strong, but besides her no one ever believed him to be strong. So when he heard the words from Dumbledore's lips it was like a dam broke inside of him and all the hurt poured out of him. He couldn't hold it back anymore. So he cried and cried. Somewhere in his mind he registered the fact that he had gripped the front of Dumbledore's robe like a child would. If it was any other time, he would have been horrified to know that he had done that and was crying like the weakling his father always called him. But at that moment he didn't care so he let go of all control and just cried.

~~oOo~~

Dumbledore continued to comfort his charge as he cried. It was about ten minutes later that Dumbledore felt Severus' sniffing stop as he fell into an exhausted sleep. When he was sure Severus was sleep, Dumbledore tried to move the teen, only to feel the grip on his robe tightening slightly. A low grunt accompanied it, clearly showing the teenager's discontent at being moved. 'It is like his unconscious mind is seeking what he wanted, but was deprived of; a caring father figure,' Dumbledore thought with a small smile. He was sure if Severus were awake he would have been mortified about his behavior in his sleep. But he wasn't and he would never know if Dumbledore had anything to say about it. Not wanting to risk waking Severus, Dumbledore moved so he could sit more comfortably on the bed. He was sure that when Severus' sleep deepened his hand would become slack enough for Dumbledore to remove his robe from Severus' hand. So he decided to wait longer before trying to move Severus. He picked up the blanket on the bed and covered both of them with it. After all there was no need to feel uncomfortable while waiting.

~~oOo~~

The first thing Severus noticed upon waking up, was how warm and comfortable he was. The second thing he noticed was that his pillow was moving slowly and there was sound of strong beating close to his ear. His eyes opened and he came face to face with a yellow fabric with twinkling stars. 'My pillow looks exactly like Dumbledore's robe,' Severus thought with amusement. Then everything clicked. IT WAS DUMBLEDORE'S ROBE! And with Dumbledore in it! It took one moment for Severus to remember everything, but when he did, he regretted remembering it. He then became aware that his hand was still gripping Dumbledore's robe and he wanted to oblivitate himself immediately. No, he wanted to hide in a cave and never come out. No, he wanted to use a time turner, go back in time, and Avada Kedavra himself before he made such a fool out of himself. What would Dumbledore think of him now? Severus quickly let go of the robe and looked up to gauge the headmaster's reaction to this humiliating and childish behavior only to find the wizard sleep. His head was back against the headboard and his mouth was open.

He opened his mouth, thinking to wake the elder wizard then closed it again. He was not ready to face being scolded for his behavior. Also, though it was humiliating, this was one of the best rests he'd ever had because it was not induced by a potion and there was no nightmare. Severus contemplated what he should do before coming to the conclusion that there was no need to hurry facing the consequence of his actions. With a sigh he laid his head on Dumbledore's shoulder and went back to sleep.

~~oOo~~

The next time it was Dumbledore who woke up. He didn't intend to fall sleep, but the last two days, he didn't have time to catch enough sleep. His back and neck ached as his position was not suitable for sleeping especially for someone of his age. It was only times like this that he felt his real age. He looked down and saw his charge was still in deep sleep. The upside of it was that sometime while sleeping Severus had let go of his robe. Dumbledore slowly and gently moved the teenager so he was lying in bed and then he got up from bed. After covering Severus with blankets he went to bathroom to wash the sleep from his face.

After washing up, he cast a tempus and noticed it was 4:15pm. Apparently, they had slept for at least 3 hours straight. The next thing he noticed was that they both missed lunch. He didn't have any problem with missing a meal. After all, it was not the first time nor it would be the last time he missed a meal, but he knew that Severus could ill-afford to miss one, considering his condition. Not to mention that Poppy and Minerva will have his head if they were to hear about it. He immediately called a house elf and ordered some soup and a cup of water for Severus and a sandwich and some pumpkin juice for himself then he went to Severus' room to wake him up. By the time he had woken Severus up the elf had returned with their food.

When Severus woke up, he had an ashamed and resigned look which confused Dumbledore. On a normal day, Dumbledore had problem understanding Severus. Now it was even harder to figure out what was on the teenager's mind. He decided to buy himself some time in order to think about the reason behind how Severus was acting and how he should react. So he went back to bathroom and few minutes later returned with a damp towel which he used to clean Severus' face gently, washing any traces of tears and sleep from his face. In the end he decided to ignore the look completely and proceeded to help Severus eat. After a few spoonfuls, Severus declared that he was full and couldn't eat anymore. It was at that moment that Poppy knocked on the door to Severus' room and then entered.

One look at what was happening and she was angry. She marched to the bed and said angrily, "Albus, I told you it was important that Severus have his meals on time. What were you doing that was more important than that?"

With a chagrined guilty smile Dumbledore said. "We were both sleeping." At the raised eyebrow of the matron he shrugged and said, "I was more tired than I thought."

Severus was confused at how the adults were behaving. Yes, it was closer to dinner than lunch, but it was not like it was Severus' first time to not have a meal on time. There was no reason for Madam Pomfrey to be so angry, but what confused Severus the most was how Dumbledore was behaving. Severus put their interaction into a corner of his mind to think about later. In any case he was glad that the headmaster didn't elaborate on how they came to be sleeping.

Pomfrey sighed and said, "Just don't let it happen again. It is important that his body get used to regular meals at the right time. It helps with his internal clock and his healing."

Dumbledore nodded and asked. "Is it time for his potions?"

Pomfrey nodded and said. "Yes, and if his body is up to it, I want to give him the Skele-Gro." She set down the tray full of potions on the nightstand. She cast several diagnosis charm on Severus. The result was apparently satisfactory since, with a nod of approval, she uncorked the potions one after another. and she and Dumbledore helped Severus to drink them. Severus was glad that he didn't need help with swallowing any more.

Before giving him the Skele-Gro, Pomfrey explained to him that he shouldn't move while the potion was working so he'd better make himself comfortable and relax his muscles. Not that Severus had any difficulty as he could hardly move and his muscles were too weak for him to keep them tense for more than two seconds.

~~oOo~~

A week has gone since Lily saw Severus in Hospital Wing and had that talk with the headmaster. She suppressed the urge to visit him, telling herself that it won't help with her uncertainties. If anything it made her feel even more guilty. What kind of best friends was she that she didn't know what her friend was going through. She didn't visit Severus because she was afraid it would weaken her resolve to get more information from Severus. She didn't visit, but it didn't mean she could stop herself from thinking about him. A few of the professors had already noticed and talked to her about her not paying attention in their classes. They told her that the doors were always open should she want to talk. It didn't make her feel any better. If anything it made her feel worse because it suddenly occurred to her to wonder if they would have issued the same invitation had it been Severus in her place? Would they even noticed if Severus was upset? Did any one of them ever care what happened to Severus? She was sure that if it had been her missing classes the professors would have definitely asked after her. If it was her it wouldn't have taken a month for someone to notice that she hadn't come back to school.

She had convinced herself not to visit by using the same reasoning, but she couldn't wait anymore. She needed to know that Severus was alive at least and she needed to see it with her own eyes. She wanted to ask Madam Pomfrey about how he was doing. She promised herself that after Charms class, which was her last class for the day, she would go to the Hospital Wing. This knowledge made her even more distracted to the point that Flitwick had called her attention to lecture a few times and when it was time for them to perform the charm she barely managed to get it right by the end of class.

Professor Filtwick asked her to stay back and gave her a lecture on how he expected better from his star pupil and what with NEWTS next year she needed to put all of her focus on studying. After a half-hearted promise to work harder, Lily made her way to hospital wing. Once reaching there, her eyes went to Severus' bed only to find the bed empty. Actually all of the beds were empty. Her eyes widened. She quickly made her way to the bed that she knew was Severus'. The bed was empty, everything was clean and orderly like all the other beds in the ward. It was like Severus had never occupied this bed. A lump formed in her throat. The bed was empty! The only explanation was that Severus was dead. 'But wouldn't someone had told you if that was the case?' a voice asked inside of her mind. 'No, why would they? After all, didn't you practically tell the headmaster that you didn't care whether he is alive or dead?'

She made her way toward the matron's office to ask about Severus only to find her office empty. Her heart sank. At the thought of Severus' death sank into her mind, tears gathered in her eyes. Memory after memory of Severus filled her mind and she felt a burning in her heart because of the the last words she'd said to him and for not making up before it was too late. She couldn't look at the empty beds in the hospital anymore so she ran away from it all.

Lily didn't notice the students that hurriedly got out of her way or the professors that looked alarmed at her tearful face. She just ran. Her feet took her to the ground beside the lake where, tired of running, she fell to the ground and cried her heart out. She cried for a boy with over-sized clothes, she cried for their friendship which had turned to dust, and she cried for lost opportunities. She cried until she had no more tears to shed. Only then she noticed that the sky was darkening. She picked up her bag and made her way to the Gryffindor Tower. Inside the common room she ignored the inquiries of her house mates who were alarmed at her tear-stained face and red puffy eyes and went up the stairs to the dormitory, not noticing the hazel eyes that followed her all the way up the stairs. Inside her room she ignored her friends, climbed into her bed, and shut the curtains. Soon she fell into an exhausted sleep and her last thought before sleep claimed her was that Severus was dead.

~~oOo~~

After casting some spells Madam Pomfrey declared all his bones were healed completely and removed the casts from his arms and legs. The process of healing bones was not fun. After taking the potion, Severus soon came to the understanding why Pomfrey told him repeatedly that he should not move. The problem with Skele-Gro was that it cannot be taken with any pain reliever or sleeping drought. So, one of the potions the Pomfrey gave him was to remove any trace of both. Even though Severus was exhausted he could not sleep because he was in a lot of pain and then to top it all off the moment he managed to doze off he would have a nightmare and wake up again. After one such event Madam Pomfrey said that she was worried that Severus would thrash around in his sleep so she suggested casting a full body-bind spell on him. While that spell brought up too many bad memories and Severus was not happy about not being able to move, he didn't protest. The last thing he wanted was to end up with a limp or a useless hand so he laid there for over two hours in pain and unable to move.

After that unpleasant experience he ate some pumpkin soup for dinner. Afterwards Pomfrey and the headmaster helped him to take several potions, the last of which was dreamless sleep, and soon Severus fell sleep thus missing the adults' exit and their conversation about his condition.

~~oOo~~

He knew what he was doing wouldn't help. It wouldn't change anything as it hadn't all the previous times. However, he couldn't stay away. There was a feeling in his gut that told him he needed to go to hospital wing. So here he was, walking to hospital wing in the middle of night with the Marauders' Map in his hand – in case he needed it – and his invisibility cloak covering him, to see Snape, his archenemy.

Reaching the entrance he looked at the map one last time to make sure no one was around then he slowly opened the door and crept in. He slowly closed the door before turning toward Snape's bed only to be confronted with an open curtain and empty bed. A chill went down his spine, but he told himself that he is not seeing correctly. The ward was dark and he only could rely on the light of moon coming from the windows to see. So he moved towards the bed and standing at the foot he couldn't deny any longer that the bed was empty. The only reason for it that he could think of was that Snape was dead. For a moment he felt relief, for if there was no Snape anymore then he didn't need to think about what he should do. His confusion and conflict would be solved. The moment passed and guilt crashed down on him. How could he feel relief about someone's death even if it was Snape's. 'It was why Lily's eyes were red. She had been crying for Snape because no matter how much she denied it, she still cared for him,' he thought.

He thought about all the pranks he had played on Snape because he simply existed and about the times when he cursed the boy's existence. 'Now that Severus Snape is dead you should feel happy, shouldn't you?' He silenced the treacherous voice. It wasn't something he wanted to think about, but his mind in its merciless assault brought up all the memories when he had picked on Snape for no special reason. The guilt was so strong that he felt he was getting crushed under it. He took two steps forward and sat down on the side of the bed. His mind full of thoughts about Snape and about himself.

A sound of a crash in the corridor outside of hospital brought him out of his thoughts. A look at the map showed it was Peeves, but it was no matter. He knew that even if anybody came into hospital they would not see him as he was still under his cloak. He knew he would never get caught as long as he made sure the cloak covered all of him. However, preferring not to test it; he checked the map again and making sure the coast was clear, he made his way back towards Gryffindor Tower.

Opening the dormitory door, he silently crept inside and closed the door behind him. He turned around and came face to face with the light of a Lumos Spell and his three friend standing there and staring at him.

Chapter Text

“Where have you been?” Sirius asked.

“The kitchens, of course.” He tried to say it with a confident smile, but ended up with something more resembling a grimace.

“And you go almost every night to kitchens?” Remus asked.

“Of course, well else would I go?” James tried harder and managed a small smile. Peter smiled and said.

“Didn’t I tell you? You were worried for nothing.”

“No, it is something else.” Sirius muttered darkly.

“Sirius, buddy, come on! What is this about?”

“What is this about? WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?” Sirius nearly shouted. At Remus shushing, he lowered his his voice and said.

“This is about my best friend hiding something from us. You have been gloomy, James! All week! Something is bothering you. You are not yourself at all. We can tell you know! We are your best friend! Merlin, even Frank thinks you are not acting like yourself! We waited one whole week for you to tell us, but you didn’t! So now, this is about me trying to find out what has gotten into you!”

“Sirius, there is nothing –“ James tried half-heartly.

“James, spill the beans, now!” Sirius said firmly.

With a sigh James relented and motioned to beds. “We should sit down. It may take some time.”

They settled down on James and Sirius’ beds, facing each other. There was a few moments of silence, before Sirius asked. “Well?”

James sighed and started. “It started the first night I was admitted to Hospital Wing….” James explained briefly everything that happened that night. Dumbledore and McGonagall’s reaction and how it made him feel conflicted. When he was done, there was a moment of silence before Sirius said, “I don’t see what you are so conflicted about. It just shows that even Snivellus’ old man knew what a waste of space he is.”

“Maybe that’s why he is going to join Death Eaters. I mean his father has hammered these beliefs into his mind since he was a child.” Remus said calmly. Sirius’ eyes darkened at that, but he didn’t say anything.

“I don’t think that’s the case.” James said. At the quizzical look he received, he explained. “Dumbledore said he is a half-blood.”

“What? That git is a half-blood and yet he has the audacity to preach blood purity?” Sirius said angrily.

James didn’t comment and continued, “Also, they said that their house was dirty and there was blood on the floor.” James was not sure why, but talking about what he heard about Snapes’ house was difficult and it made his stomach churn. So he didn’t go into detail and instead explained his point. “If his father was a wizard, then why he wouldn’t just Scourgify everything? Also, have you ever heard ‘Snape’ to be a wizarding name? I think his father was a Muggle.”

“Well, no wonder he hated Muggles, if his father was a Muggle and treated him like that,” Remus rationalized.

“Or maybe it is the other way around.” Sirius said. “He had acted like the git he is and that made his old man to beat him up. Anyway, I don’t see what you are so upset about.” He directed the last part at James.

“Don’t you see? Even if what you said was right, then why would Snape let him? We know that even as a first year, Snape knew more curses than anyone. Since his mother was a witch, their household is registered as magical. It means Snape could have easily cursed him without anyone knowing! Also, we know how he likes his potions and you remember Sirius, it was you who told us you saw him sell some kind of potion to other Slytherins and said that he was probably brewing poisons for You-Know-Who! He could have easily poisoned him! Why would he let his father beat him?” After that there was silence for a few minutes, before James said with frustration, “And that’s not all. Dumbledore was saying Snape has problems with other Slytherins. He said that since Snape is a half-blood, they don’t treat him well!”

“Then why does he spend so much time with them?” Peter asked timidly.

“Maybe because if he doesn’t, they will turn on him?” Remus said, his tone questioning.

“Well, he has to sleep in the same dorm as them. Who knows what they can do to him, without anyone knowing!” James said heatedly.

“Serves him right for wanting to be in Slytherin.” Sirius said dryly.

“I know I always hated him, but come on, Sirius! Snape is a half-blood. He grew up outside the Wizarding World. I really doubt he really had any idea what Slytherins were like!” James said.

“What is it with you, James? Since when you have become a fan of Snivellus?” Sirius asked.

“I’m not his fan! I still don’t like him! He is a jerk. And I know that while he had it bad, it doesn’t justify what he does! But I can’t help feeling bad! It seems no one has given him a chance …neither us, nor the Slytherins!”

“Listen to yourself! I can’t believe I’m hearing this! No, we didn’t give him a chance, but Evans did! And see what that got her! He called her the ‘M’ word!”

This time it was Remus who tried to reason with Sirius. “Come on Sirius! Even we know that he didn’t mean it! He practically camped outside the portrait to apologize!”

“What does that matter? He still call others that and he obviously means it, since I have not heard him apologize to the others!” Sirius said.

“Well, if he really wanted to blend in with his housemates to be safe from them, then he had to at least partially play the part.” Remus said calmly.

“Say what you want, but I still think Snape is a git and that you have gone mad!” Sirius growled. After that no one spoke for some time.

“So now what?” Peter asked, breaking the silence.

“Well, I think we can start with a cease fire, the next time we see him.” Remus said, feeling rather relieved with the result.

“There is no need.” James muttered, just remembering what happened earlier that night. After seeing his friends expectant expression, he said, “Snape is dead.”

“What?” The other three said at the same time. Their eyes were as large as saucers.

“He is dead. When I went to hospital wing just now, I saw his bed was empty and everything was cleaned.”

“Maybe they took him somewhere else?” Remus asked. Sirius was still too shocked to speak.

“Where would they take him?” James asked.

“St. Mungo’s,” Peter answered.

James shook his head and said. “No, I don’t think so. Did you not see Evans’ face when she entered the common room? She had been crying.”

“Well, maybe she was crying over something else,” Peter said.

“No, I told you, she was there that first night and Dumbledore went after her to talk to her. And today, she comes to common room looking like that! It is clear that if Snape had died, they would have told her and no matter how much she says otherwise, she still cared enough to cry if he died,” James explained.

Remus turned to a silent Sirius and said. “You OK? You are quiet.”

“I’m fine” Sirius said quietly. “It is just that all those times that I wished him dead or gone, I actually never thought it would happen.” Sirius didn’t want to admit it, but there was a weight on his chest. He had wished Snape dead sometimes, and now...it was like his wish has been granted. And Sirius actually felt guilty, even if he had nothing to do with it. In all those times he faced Snape, fought with him, cursed him, and mocked him, he never thought – even for one second – that a day would come that Snape would not be there. And for it to happen like this! He always thought that one day, they would face each other as enemies in war and wanted to be the one who defeated and brought Snivellus to justice. But now, the git had died! Apparently, after getting beaten by his father the whole summer! It made Sirius shudder. He didn’t show it, but the fact shook him to the core. He always thought he had it bad. Complained about his family and how they treated him and others, but as bad as his mother was, she never hurt him badly. Of course, there was those stinging hexes and painful curses now and then, but nothing that would leave a mark; nothing permanent. Nothing that he would die from – though there was one instance that Sirius definitely felt like he was dying, but more from embarrassment than pain.

It would have been hard enough to align this picture with the hateful boy they saw every day, but Snape had to go and die and make everything harder. As much as he protested against James’ conflicted emotions, Sirius couldn’t help but feel the same way.

~oOo~

The next day, Severus woke up to a humiliating revelation. Apparently, he was still too weak to control himself, so he had wet his bed. As if all the humiliation he had went through just the last few days were not enough. These past few days, Severus lived day by day, in the hopes that tomorrow things would get better and yet things were getting worse and worse by the day. Severus’ musings were interrupted by sound of his room’s door opening. He turned his head and saw Dumbledore entering his room.

“Ah, I see you are awake. How do you feel?” Dumbledore said cheerfully. Severus did not speak. He could only stare at Dumbledore. He didn’t know which was worse: The fact that he, a sixteen years old boy, had wet himself or that Dumbledore was going to find out about it. He would most probably think that Severus had done that on purpose or worse, he would laugh at him. Something must have shown on his face, as Dumbledore’s smile vanished. He approached the bed and asked.

“Severus, what is wrong?”

Severus knew the exact moment Dumbledore found out, as he stopped in his track, a look of understanding on his face. Severus looked at Dumbledore warily, dreading his reaction. His face was flushed from embarrassment. Seeing this Dumbledore approached the bed and said, “It is alright, Severus. Let’s just get you cleaned up.”

This comment made something in Severus snap. Before he knew it, the words burst out of his mouth. “No, it is not! Don’t pretend everything is normal!” He nearly shouted.

Dumbledore understood how Severus was feeling, but he knew that he need to put a stop to his behavior. It was one thing to gain Severus’ trust, but it was something else to let him walk all over him and it was something that Severus should know. So with a serious cool tone he said, “There is no need to shout, Severus. And about your condition, we will talk about it later. First, we need to get you cleaned up.”

Severus averted his eyes. A wall of shame rose in him. Here he was, not only being the useless wretch his father always said he was, but also he was acting like a brat about it. It was not Dumbledore’s fault that he was such weakling. One that at the age of sixteen, even could not control his body. No, it was not Dumbledore’s fault. It was Severus’ fault and he should remember that. That thought made a lump to form in his throat and he whispered. “I’m sorry.” Then he turned his head away, trying his hardest to not cry.

If the room was not so quiet, Dumbledore was sure that he would have missed it. As it was, he thought he imagined it, but when Severus turned his head, his expression one of misery, he was sure that he heard right. He immediately felt guilty. Maybe he shouldn’t have been so sharp with him. After all it was just a few days ago that Severus woke up. He was not in a good condition; not only physically, but also mentally and emotionally. Rosaline and Poppy told him repeatedly that since Severus had not time to mourn his mother properly, he most probably would be in a stage of grieving and that Dumbledore should consider that. His physical condition and his situation would also affect his mental health. He sighed and patted Severus’ hand in consolation.

“It is fine. But lets get you out of these clothes. It cannot be comfortable. I’ll run you a bath as well.”

He left Severus briefly to prepare the bath. When he returned, he called a house elf and asked him to change the sheets. Then he took Severus to the bathroom. While Dumbledore used an stretcher the day before to move Severus to and from bathroom, today he scooped Severus in his arms and carried him there.

The ordeal was over in less than forty five minutes and Severus was in clean clothes and back on his, now clean, bed. Dumbledore propped him up in the bed and stocked pillows behind him. Then he called a house elf to bring Severus’ breakfast – some chicken broth and water.

When the breakfast arrived, at Severus’ insistence, Dumbledore left the spoon in Severus’ hand and sat down in the chair beside the bed. However, after Several unsuccessful try with his shaking hand and one incident – in which the spoon slipped from his weak fingers – Severus had to give up. Dumbledore, calmly, removed any trace of broth from the blankets and Severus’ cloth with a flick of his wand and took up where Severus left off. After breakfast, Dumbledore sat calmly in his chair again and looked at Severus. When a few minutes of silence passed without Headmaster saying anything, Severus said.

“Are you not going to Great Hall to have breakfast?” At Dumbledore’s expectant look, he added belatedly “Sir”

“I will have my breakfast later.”

Severus fidgeted under Dumbledore’s stare and said, “But don’t you need to be present in the Great Hall?”

Dumbledore smiled and said “I’m sure they can manage to eat their breakfast without my supervision.”

After a few seconds of silence, Dumbledore started to speak. “Severus, about the incident that happened before.” At hearing this, Severus hunched slowly forward so that his hair was covering his face. Dumbledore continued, “I believe that we need to talk about it.” And with that Dumbledore told Severus about everything that Poppy, Rosaline, and he had discussed and their implications. He told him about how weak his body will be, the problems that may arise, how much help he would need to get back on his two feet, and how long it would take him to do so. By the end, Severus was as pale as the pillows he was leaning against, as he stared at Dumbledore with wide eyes. He was slightly panting, as well, as he was starting to panic. So Dumbledore continued his explanation quickly.

“I told you all of this, so you have some idea what we are going to face. Also, I want you to know that when I accepted your guardianship, I knew about all this and that I accepted what I will need to do to help you. I will try to make it as comfortable as possible for you, but I need you to work with me.” Severus blinked, surprised and then noticing how his emotions were written on his face, bowed his head, so again his hair hid his face from Dumbledore.

When Dumbledore didn’t get any response from the teenager, he prompted, “Do you understand?”

Severus swallowed and nodded his head. After that, they fell into silence for several minutes, before Dumbledore stood up and helped Severus to lie back down and said.

“Try to rest a little. I will come back shortly with Madam Pomfrey for your potions.” Then he turned to leave, but Severus’ voice stopped him in his track.

“A...about….t-that therapy,...”

“Yes?” Dumbledore encouraged when Severus fell silent and didn’t continue.

“Who? Who is...” Severus trailed off, but Dumbledore understood and answered.

“We have not talked about it, yet. Why do you ask?” Dumbledore was almost sure about why Severus asked that, but he thought it important that Severus learned to communicate with him.

“It is possible that Madam Pomfrey could do it?” Severus said quietly and in one breath, but he didn’t make eye contact while speaking.

“I can talk about it with her, but you must understand that she is not an expert in that area. Also, she is the school matron and she only has obligation toward the students and currently you are here as my ward, not as a student.” Severus nodded in understanding and Dumbledore left with a sleep well.

~oOo~

Lucius Malfoy was unhappy. He couldn’t believe how everything turned out, in a matter of days. It was only six days ago that he thought everything was going perfectly. Just six months ago, he had become the head of the noble house of Malfoy. He had just finished an assignment from Dark Lord. His financial investments were making his money tenfold. His time with his beautiful fiancee was amazing. And most importantly, he was sure that he could get Snape to sign the guardianship, the next time he visited him.

He even went so far as imagining Dark Lord’s reaction when he found out that in the end it was he, the newly appointed head of the noble family of Malfoy, who had acquired him his most prized asset. But then suddenly everything went to hell six days ago. In one of their meetings, Felberta Grayson informed the Dark Lord that Severus has gone missing from his home and that his Muggle father had written to authorities about it. In other words, the location of the Dark Lord’s most wanted asset was unknown and practically everyone knew about it. To say that the Dark Lord was angry was the understatement of the year. He was furious. After handing out a series of Cruciatus Curses to everyone, the Dark Lord ordered them to find Severus at all costs.

Things just got worse when Bareed said in the next meeting that after contacting Hogwarts, they received news that Snape was at Hogwarts. No one knew how he got there, but it was clear that they couldn’t get their hands on Snape as easily as before. The Dark Lord ordered them to find a way to, if nothing else, at least visit Hogwarts and find some information about what was happening there. It was one of the first times that all the Death Eaters involved, united together to do some task. Because they knew that they were running out of time and if that happened, they were all dead. For the first time, they all operated completely synchronized; telling each other of their plan, consulting, complementing each other’s plans, but it was no use. Dumbledore, like always, did what he did best: Dodged all of their plans, using regulations and laws to forbid entry to anyone. After two days of getting nowhere, people with children at Hogwarts, started contacting their children to get some information.

It was the late morning of the sixth day since the news of Snape’s disappearance, when Lucius received a letter from Mr. Peterson, the Ministry employee who prepared his papers. He asked to meet him urgently. Lucius, who had a bad feeling about the letter, flooed to Ministry immediately. He was horrified to find out that just one hour ago, Dumbledore had rushed through Ministry with a Ministry employee in tow, brandishing the signed guardianship form for Snape. The first thing that came to Lucius’ mind was that Dark Lord was going to kill all of them and the next thing he thought was how Dumbledore had managed to get Snape to sign the form. After all, it was known to all Slytherins that Snape hated Dumbledore with a passion.

When he came out his thoughts and noticed that Peterson was nearly hysterical, he knew that his problems were not going to end there and he was right. Apparently, the guardianship was not the only document Dumbledore had brought with him. Dumbledore had a copy of Snape’s cancellation form and money transfer form, which with his newly found authority as Snape’s guardian, he nullified. Lucius had no idea how he came to know of those documents, but regardless the fact that he did, didn’t bode well.

Dumbledore immediately started two cases, one for abuse and another for suicide – Lucius knew Snape was a coward, but Lucius wondered what had caused that bout of insanity for him to commit suicide. However, Lucius didn’t ponde r that much as he knew he had more important things to do. If he didn’t manage to do something soon, all will be lost. He started by trying to calm down Peterson. Lucius promised him protection in case things went south. Of course, he didn’t mention to Peterson that he would do so as long as it has some benefit for him. Peterson was important for his network, but not that important. However, that empty reassurance seemed to do the trick, as Peterson calmed down quickly. Lucius used this chance and sent him to get some news about what Dumbledore was doing.

The speed with which Dumbledore made both cases progress was dizzying. They managed to even get an appointment for examination in two days time. When Lucius found out that they didn’t manage to get the papers on time to find a healer for examination, he saw his chance and immediately set to meet the Ministry employee for appointment of healers, some one called Grey Gobson. It didn’t take long and didn’t cost much to convince Gobson to help him. The plan was to make sure that there would not be an examination until next week. Lucius intended to come up with some sort of plan to get Snape out of Dumbledore’s clutches. That day he went home, hopeful that all was not lost.

The next day, he went to Ministry to see how things has gone. When he heard from Gobson that Dumbledore had managed to find a way around the obstacle they put in his way, he became very angry, but when he came to know that the supervisor was Wolfing, he was relieved. While Wolfing was not an active follower of Dark Lord, he had made his standing well known among the right sort. Also, he had once made a request through one of the Death Eaters to meet the Dark Lord. The fact that such a person has managed to get access to Hogwarts was both good and bad. The good thing was that they finally would get a glimpse of what is going on with Snape. The bad thing was that not only it was not Lucius who was bringing the news, but also the person who was bringing Snape to the Dark Lord was not even a Death Eater. And Lucius knew the Dark Lord would make all of them pay for that.

However, in the end, even Wolfing could do nothing, except telling them that apparently Dumbledore was doting on the boy and would not let him out of his sight. It was a doubly bad news because it meant that whatever has happened, Snape had given his guardianship willingly to Dumbledore and it made getting him out of clutches of the old coot even harder. The only good thing in this whole mess was that Wolfing’s action has granted him a meeting with the Dark Lord and he reported to the Dark Lord in person about failing to bring the Snape boy and, as a result, borne the wrath of the Dark Lord. It didn’t mean that they all went unscathed, but they all were punished lighter than they would have been, had Wolfing has not been there. Lucius, himself managed to get the least possible punishment after he suggested some ideas about kidnapping Snape later on. Based on Wolfing’s report the boy could not move much without help – how he had gotten to Hogwarts was still a mystery. So it would be some time before they could get their hands on Snape, but, as he told the Dark Lord, they could use this time to figure out the perfect plan. Lucius already had some ideas about what to do. He just needed to work on it. He would show that the traitor Snape what it means to refuse a Malfoy.

That night, he went home considering Snape’s case a closed case, for the time being. However, the very next day, he received an owl from one of his people who was the secretary of one of the members of Wizengamot about a private request that Dumbledore has made about his ward and all the people who had falsely claimed that they were his guardians. Apparently, Dumbledore had provided a copy of all of their documents to the Wizengamot to be investigated discretely. Lucius knew it was a copy, since they destroyed all the original files after Dumbledore came to the Ministry as Snape’s guardian. The name of several of the Dark Lord followers – marked and unmarked, including Lucius, and their Ministry connections must have come up because that is how his informant has heard of it. That was an unavoidable mess and while Lucius knew it would not be hard for him to slip away, he also knew that his network and credibility within Ministry was going to receive a blow. He could only hope that he could salvage the situation well enough for his social status within Wizarding World not to be affected. However, his rank within the Dark Lord’s inner circle was something that he was worried about. On the one hand, it was Dark Lord’s reaction to the news; he would surely lose the favor he had with his Lord as he could not be as useful as before. On the other hand, it was the reaction of other Death Eaters. It was not a secret that the Death Eaters would hardly hesitate to throw each other under the Knight Bus if it would mean that they could get a better place within the Dark Lord’s rank. Also, there was the possibility of those followers whose names have come up in the investigation, trying to use Lucius to save themselves. All in all, it was going to be very messy and all because of that git Snape. All this was his fault and Lucius knew he would make sure that Snape paid for it.

Chapter Text

Dumbledore left Severus to rest, but Severus could not sleep, even though he was tired. He had lived day to day, trying to not think about the whole ordeal. But after his talk with Dumbledore, the gravity of his situation hit him like the Hogwarts express.

When he politely declined Lucius’ offer at King’s Cross station, Lucius told him that they would talk about it later. At the time he didn’t think much of it. After all, Lucius seemed to be fine with it. The first two months of the summer were bad, but still tolerable. Severus endured it, knowing that he only had one more month before he could sneak out and go back to Hogwarts. To say that he was surprised that Lucius had visited him at his home was the understatement of the year. Severus felt flattered that the head of the House of Malfoy had brought himself down to visit him, a half-blood, at his home in the slums of the Spinner’s End. Well, both flattered and embarrassed. But any thought of accepting his offer went out of his head when he saw the gleam in Lucius’ eyes. It was then that Severus understood how badly he had misread the situation at King’s Cross station. Apparently, Lucius was angry about his refusal, very angry. And because he didn’t accept Lucius’ offer, he knew that he was going to pay dearly. Pay in a way that by comparison, his father’s treatment of him would look like the caresses of a loving father.

So again he refused and when Lucius told him he would regret it, he didn’t think much of it. After all he had endured at home and at school, what was a little more? He would endure this one month and then he would go back to Hogwarts. He would graduate with highest marks possible and join the Dark Lord’s ranks as an accomplished wizard, rather than Malfoy’s sidekick, his charity project, or worse… as his slave. But how wrong he was. In a matter of days things got so bad that Severus started to loose touch with reality and time. He suspected that Lucius was behind his worsened situation, but for Dumbledore to confirm that they were paying his father to do that to him for two months, without Lucius checking on him again….well, he could not deny that it hurt. Lucius was one of the first and only people who showed an interest in Severus since he set foot in Hogwarts. While Severus knew that part of it was because of the benefits that Severus might have for him, he thought that some part – however small – was because Lucius liked him. But for him to go to such an extent only because Severus refused his guardianship, it hurt him. After all, he almost died at his father’s hands.

It was then that another wave of realization hit him. By accepting Dumbledore’s guardianship, he practically threw away any chance of getting accepted by the Dark Lord. On the other hand, he knew that whatever Dumbledore was doing now was out of pity – for it could not have been anything else, since by taking the unbreakable vow, Dumbledore proved to some extend that he didn’t plan to use Severus or his money. So it must be pity that made Dumbledore help him, but who knew how long would it take Dumbledore to get tired of his charity case and throw him away like garbage. In other words, by accepting Dumbledore as his guardian, Severus made sure that he would not have any kind of future. There was no way he could make something out of his life or become someone worthwhile.

A lump formed in his throat and tears started to gather in his eyes. He was a crippled useless freak with no parents, no friends, no connection, and no future. The thought made him think of his mother and that he was not going to see her again. With that thought, he started to cry silently.

After about five minutes of crying, his tears stopped and he felt exhausted. His eyes were drooping when the door to his room opened and alerted him immediately, only to see that it was Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey. Severus relaxed slightly.

The adults didn’t miss Severus’ tear streaked face or his red eyes. Poppy opened her mouth to comment, but a light touch to her arm stopped her. She looked at Albus and after a silent communication, nodded. She checked on Severus and gave him his potions. Also, she left some nutrient potion for him to take with his meals. She then told Severus to get some rest and left. Dumbledore, who had briefly left the room while the matron was checking on Severus, returned with a damp towel which he used to clean Severus’ face quickly and silently. Then he tucked Severus in, patted him on the shoulder, and left with a “Sleep well”. Severus who was exhausted from his emotional ordeal soon fell sleep.

When Dumbledore entered his office, he found the matron sitting in a chair in front oh his desk with a cup of tea in her hands. Dumbledore sat behind his desk and poured himself a cup of tea from the tray on his desk.

“You are aware that as his guardian, it is your duty to make sure that he is well, physically, as well as, mentally and emotionally, aren’t you?” Poppy asked.

“Yes.” Dumbledore answered shortly, but calmly while sipping his tea.

“Then why you didn’t say anything? Why you didn’t ask what had upset him?”

“Poppy, this is Severus Snape we are talking about.”

“Are you implying that he either doesn’t have any feelings or that his feelings are not important?” Poppy asked sharply.

“I’m not implying anything, Poppy. I merely meant that do you think if you asked, he would have answered? Severus is very reserved, if anything, I think it would put pressure on him and make him even more withdrawn. Moreover, I think I know what might have upset him.”

Poppy was curious how after two days of spending time with Severus, Albus could come to know how Severus would react, but she let that slide and instead asked.

“What has upset him?”

“Shortly before you came, Severus and I had a talk about his physical condition and limitations. I think that the gravity of everything just caught up with him”. Albus was not just guessing. When they entered the room and he saw Severus’ face, he briefly touched Severus’ mind to see what was wrong. He knew it was not right, but it would be better than messing up in his interactions with Severus, because he had no idea what was going on. And he knew that it would be a long time before Severus would willingly open up to him. Also, in this special case, he didn’t need to much; Severus’ emotions were practically all over and his mind was bursting from all thoughts and emotions. It was as if his mind was ready to push all those thoughts out to anyone who could receive them.

“But it doesn’t mean we should abandon him,” Poppy who was feeling calmer said.

“And we are not going to do that. However, as you said before he’s had no time to mourn his mother. So I think it is important that we give him space to deal with everything. We will still be there to support him, as well.”

Poppy raised her eyebrows and with a smile asked, “Since when you have become a professional in dealing with such situations?”

Albus chuckled lightly and said. “Since Minerva saw fit to buy me a small collection of books on the subject during our shopping two days ago.” He motioned to the newest additions to his collection of books on the bookshelves and continued. “I have been reading them during my free time.”

Poppy’s smile widened and she said, “I’m happy that you are taking this seriously.”

“Of course, I – “ Whatever he wanted to say was cut off by appearance of a house elf who said that the matron was needed in the hospital wing. Poppy thanked the house elf, who she had assigned to keep an eye on hospital wing and departed quickly.

Albus sat back with a sigh. He had been the headmaster of a school full of teenagers for decades and until a few days ago he thought he knew exactly how to take care of one on a personal basis. But how wrong he was. And how grateful he was that Minerva had bought those books for him.

His thoughts were interrupted when a knocking sound came from the window of his office. He got up and let the owl in. After detaching the letter from the owl’s foot, the owl flew out of the window, not waiting for a reply or even a treat.

Albus sat back behind his desk and opened the letter. The letter was from Griselda Marchbanks stating that his request was being processed and they will contact him as soon as they could find some results. Albus sat back and sighed. After much deliberation and consulting with Rosaline, he decided yesterday to put in a private request to Wizengamot to investigate the people who had filed false claims on Severus. He did not do it in the hopes of bringing the guilty parties to justice. He knew that none of those people would get caught. After all, Albus was not naive. Considering the amount of power and influence they had, all of them would manage to slip away. The best result he could hope for was for the ministry employees to get punished and for the followers of Voldemort to get discredited so

that others in the ministry would think twice about associating with them. He had no doubt it would affect their credibility to some extent, but nothing more than that. No, that was not why he had sent the request.

There were several reasons behind this decision. The most important reason was protecting Severus. Albus knew that once he had accepted the guardianship of a Slytherin student, it would attract lots of attention and if any of those involved should open their mouth, the most private part of Severus’ life would end up on the front page of the Daily Prophet, most probably with all the embarrassing details, painting Severus as either a devious boy or a weakling who had gained the pity of Albus Dumbledore. ‘And if tolerating his housemates and students from other houses’ a voice in his mind said, ‘is difficult for Severus now, it would be intolerable after the news spread.’ By sending this request Dumbledore hoped to prevent that from happening. This way, all those who were involved would know that leaking information to the news will make the reporters swarm like insects on the case. And it is always possible that the reporters would stumble upon some information regarding the cases involving them (it was not like Dumbledore had not done some thing like this before), while the reporters are trying to find some juicy detail to write about Severus. This would result in them, and by extent, Voldemort being in the spotlight which they didn’t want.

But n o w, Voldemort and all of his associates will make sure that the case would not reach the media. It did not mean that the rumors will not spread, but it would remain as rumor rather than detailed facts published in the newspaper. Dumbledore knew that Voldemort’ s followers had enough connection and influence to make sure that even the rumors were as few as possible. Of course, he knew that regardless of the outcome of what he did, he needed to speak with Severus about the news spreading and prepare him for the other students’ reaction when he returned to the class – Dumbledore grimaced at the thought and how Severus was going to react to the possibility of some of his peers knowing his secret. It was not something Dumbledore looked forward to.

Another reason Dumbledore sent his request was to force Voldemort to lay low for some time and to postpone all his plans – regarding Severus or otherwise – so as to not attract more attention. Truth was that in the Wizarding World’s eyes, Voldemort was just one more bigoted pureblood. Most people knew nothing about him except his loud talks about making a better Wizarding World by reviving old traditions or his rare talks about the Statute of Secrecy. Only Dumbledore and his closest associates knew the true extent of his actions. Dumbledore, because he’d known Tom Riddle and his followers since childhood, and Dumbledore’s associates because Dumbledore had warned them what to look out for. So Dumbledore knew that putting this much attention on him and his people will still his hand for some time, as Voldemort tends to do most of his actions in the shadows and away from the public’s eyes. It would give Severus time to recover without problem and it will give Dumbledore time to proceed with Severus’ hearing and to get ready for Voldemort’s next plan.

~oOo~

Lily woke up in her bed, having cried herself to sleep. She felt drained, even though she had gone to bed early and had slept the same amount of time she usually sleeps. She felt numb, having no more tears to shed and having no energy to feel anything. She did her morning routine in a daze. At breakfast she nibbled on some toast only, not noticing how her friends were trying to talk to her. Too soon she got up and left the table, without noticing all the pairs of worried eyes which followed her. Mary MacDonald and Alice Prewett, her closest friends, glanced at each other before scrambling to their feet and going after her. They were the first people who entered the Transfiguration class, a good half an hour before the start of the class. Lily sat down rigidly. Her eyes vacant, her mind miles away. When all their tries to engage her or at least bring her out of her thoughts failed, they sat quietly, trying to help her by keeping her company and supporting her in silence.

Not that Lily noticed. Her mind was far away; reminiscing in the past; wondering at the what ifs; drowning in guilt, regret, and the pain of loss. It was like losing Severus a second time. When she cut all ties with him, a small part of her still held on to the belief, to the hope of one day Severus changing, leaving his friends and housemates, and coming back to her. Even when she was being a pessimist, there was that calming thought in the back of her mind that even if Severus was not with her, he was somewhere out there living his life. In those times she hoped….prayed in her mind that he would have a better life than having to live with his - what she thought at the time – grumpy and uncaring father; that he would find happiness. She had imagined the future, different scenarios about how and when their paths would cross. Him, a successful Potion Master or maybe the Ministry’s lead researcher and her, a successful Auror, Potion Mistress, or a Charm Crafter. However, now all of that was gone. There will be no crossing paths because Severus was dead. She had lost him in a permanent way. Something that can’t be changed. And how she regretted that her last words with him had been said in anger. That she hadn’t thought twice before cutting him from her life. That she didn’t accept his apology. That she didn’t give their friendship another chance. That was what bothered most, that Severus’ last memory of her had been her rejecting their friendship. That her last memory of Severus was their fight, Severus trying to apologize, asking for another chance and she not giving him that chance.

In the view of Severus’ death, everything else seemed insignificant: their fights, his friends, and her friends. It seemed like everything was same, that nothing has changed, but it had. Everything had changed….because Severus was not there anymore and he died, thinking that Lily hated him and that she didn’t care anymore. Lily put her head on her folded arms on the desk and let the tears flow again.

Mary and Alice exchanged worried looks while trying to comfort Lily and get her to calm down. It took them near a quarter of an hour to calm her down and by then, many of the students had come to the class. They were looking at Lily all the while whispering among themselves. Another thing that other students found weird was the restrained behavior of the Maraudars. They were glancing at Lily from time to time and whispering with each other, but they were too quiet in comparison to their usual behavior.

At her friends insistence, Lily got up to go and wash her face. Mary followed her just in case. At the entrance to the class, they came face to face with a group of Slytherins entering the class, including Mulciber and Avery. One look at Lily’s red puffy face and Avery sneered.

“Boys, it seems that the little Mudblood had gotten what she deserved.”

“Leave her alone,” Mary said boldly, standing up for her friend.

“You better know your place or you might get a repeat of that incident,” Mulciber threatened as he made his way forward. Mary paled. Lily drew her wand and said icily. “If you get near her, I’ll gut you myself.” Her threat would have sounded more intimidating if it was not for her red puffy eyes and tear stricken face.

“You will gut me? The little Mudblood who runs crying because the class is to scary for her?” He sneered mockingly.

“Or maybe she just realized how much of a worthless Mudblood she is,” One of the Slytherins at the back said which turned out to be Antonin Dolohove. Someone in the group said “No, it is definitely the former.”

James jumped from his seat, wand in hand and shouted, “Shut up. Don’t speak about what you don’t know!” Sirius was right behind him as he said. “She is worth hundreds of the likes of you scoundrels.” He too took out his wand, followed by the two other Maraudars. Sometime during the bickering, Mary and all the Slytherins in the group had drawn their wands and were pointing it at the opposite group.

“What is going on here?” McGonagall asked as she appeared behind the Slytherins who were blocking the entrance. Slytherins immediately put away their wands while acting like nothing was out of place. Then Avery said, “Professor, we were entering the class, but they were blocking our way to not let us in. When we protested, they drew their wands. We just took out our wands to defend ourselves in case they attacked us.”

“That is not true, they blocked our way and were threatening us.” Mary said.

“Mary is telling the truth, Professor,” James and Sirius said, backing her up.

“Oh, stop it! You really should be ashamed. You are all almost of age! And yet you are still fighting with each other like children. Ten points from both houses.” When she saw that they opened their mouth to protest, she said, “You should know better than to fight! Now all of you take your seats.” Then she saw Lily’s face and her expression became concerned. “Miss. Evans, are you alright?”

“Yes, Professor. I just wanted to go wash my face.”

“Of course, of course.” McGonagall said.

Mary made to follow Lily, but McGonagall stopped her. “Miss Macdonald, please take your seat. I’m sure Miss Evans is capable of freshening up by herself.”

Several Slytherins snickered at this, but was silenced with one glare from McGonagall.

Lily washed her face as quickly as she could and returned to the class. Throughout the theoretical part of the lesson McGonagall kept an eye on her, noting the faraway look on her face. If it had been some other student, McGonagall would assume it was teenage daydreaming, but not her. This was highly unusual. That plus her still red eyes and what she had heard from her colleague seeing Miss. Evans crying, meant that something was seriously wrong. This theory was backed up by the fact that she seems to be unable to concentrate enough to get the slightest result from transfiguring her teapot. The look that her friends and Maraudars were throwing her was another sign as well.

McGonagall wanted to ask her to stay behind, but then noticed that apparently Miss Evans had no plan to leave, since she remained in her seat at the end of the class and told her friends to leave without her.

When the last student was leaving, McGonagall motioned for him to close the door behind him. The boy threw a curious look at Miss Evans before closing the door.

There was a few moments of silence before McGonagall cleared her throat and said. “How can I help you, Miss Evans?”

There was another few seconds of silence, before Lily got up from her seat and approached the teacher’s desk. Her head was bowed, so McGonagall could not see her eyes. When she reached the desk, she touched the desk lightly with the tip of her fingers in way that was clear she was using it to ground herself and prepare mentally for what was coming next. Then she took a deep shaky breath and brought her head up. McGonagall noticed that tears were welling up in her eyes.

“Professor, I know what has happened to Severus.”

Whatever McGonagall imagined to be the cause of her distress, this was not it.

“What do you mean, Miss. Evans?”

“I…I know that he is gone. I went to the hospital wing and saw that his bed was empty.” She was crying again.

“Yes, well, we had to move him.” McGonagall said confused.

“I know,” there was a sob. “But I wanted to see him before that.”

McGonagall looked at her even more confused about her distress.

“I’m sure there will be time for you to see him, Miss. Evans, there is no need to cry.”

“But I wanted to see him before the funeral.”

“Funeral? Whose funeral?”

“Severus’. Severus’ funeral.”

Understanding lit McGonagall’s eyes. She got up and directed Lily to the nearest chair, and then she put her hands on Lily’s shoulder and bent so that she was eye level with her. She looked calmly in Lily’s moist green eyes and said, “Miss. Evans…Lily, Severus is not dead. He is alive.”

“What?” Lily exclaimed, her jaw dropping.

“He is alive.” McGonagall repeated, her tone gentle.

“But then why he was not in the hospital wing?”

“It will take Severus months to recover completely. Did you think he would stay all that time in hospital wing where students come and go?” She asked gently. A thoughtful look took over her face for a few seconds before she continued. “Also, since the headmaster has become Severus’ guardian, it was decided to move him to a room in the headmaster’s chambers.”

McGonagall knew sooner or later the news would spread and everyone would know. So, by telling Miss Evans now, she was not risking anything. Also, if Miss Evans wanted to visit Severus and help him in his recovery, she would need to know anyway.

“What?” Lily asked shocked. For the second time in the last few minutes, she felt like the rug has been pulled from under her.

“It is true.” McGonagall said with a small smile.

“When Severus wakes up, he will not be happy about that.” Lilly muttered, completely aware about how Severus felt about the headmaster.

“Miss. Evans, Severus did wake up. He gave his consent to headmaster to become his guardian. Without his consent, it would not have been legal.”

“What? Why is his consent needed? And you are saying that Severus willingly gave his guardianship to headmaster?” At the look McGonagall gave her, she quickly added. “Ma’am?”

McGonagall straightened and said, “Yes, he did and his consent was needed because Severus is almost of age.”

“Oh.” That was all Lily could say after the shocking news that she received.

“Now, I need to ask you to not share what you heard today with anyone,” McGonagall said.

“Of course...um...can I see Severus, Professor?”

“Not now, but you can visit him when he is feeling better and is ready to have visitors.”

It still looked liked Miss Evans was having difficulty trying to come to terms with what she heard, but she looked calm, so McGonagall said, “I believe you have Herbology now, is that right?”

Lily nodded and said, “Yes, Professor.”

“Then you should leave now so as to not to be late for your class.”

“Yes, Professor. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Miss Evans. Remember, if you have any questions or concerns, my office’s door is always open.”

“Yes, Ma’am. Thank you again.” Lily said. She seems to be back to her energetic self. Her eyes were bright and there was a smile on her lips, as she made her way to the door.

“And Miss Evans?”

“Yes, Professor?”

“Don’t forget to clean up before your next class.”

Lily who was at the door unconsciously brought her hand up and wiped at the drying tears tracks on her face. “Yes, Professor.”

“And Miss Evans?” McGonagall called with a small smile.

“Yes, Professor.” Lily asked a little bit confused.

“Do not forget your bag.” McGonagall motioned towards Lily’s book bag which was still on her desk. Lily ducked her head and chuckled softly as she hurried toward her desk and picked up her bag. Then with a “Thank you, Professor”, she was out of the door.

McGonagall shook her head at the antics of her students and made her way toward the staff lounge to drink some tea before her next class. She thought about mentioning the conversation to Albus and seeing when Severus might be ready to see visitors, but it flew from her mind when she entered the staff lounge and was dragged into Horace and Filius’ argument about the effects of spells on potions.

~~oOo~~

Mary was the first one who noticed Lily has entered the greenhouse. She instantly noticed the change in her friend. Something has happened when Lily stayed back to talk with McGonagall and Mary was glad that Lily’s talk with their head of house has apparently helped.

She exchanged a look with Alice and saw she has noticed the change in Lily’s behavior as well. But before they could ask Lily anything, P rofessor Sprout came and the class started. She tried to talk with Lily (who was working on her plant beside her) about it, but she just shook her head and shut down any possible conversation by motioning toward the ir professor.

Mary promised herself that she was going to get to the bottom of this after class.

~~oOo~~

Mary was not the only one who noticed Lily’s change in mood. The Maraudars were following Lily with their eyes since she had set foot inside the greenhouse. And while it was a relief for Mary and Alice to see the peaceful expression on Lily’s face, for Maraudars, it was confusing.

“Maybe she was just upset about something else and doesn’t still know about Snape,” Sirius said.

“What would have upset her so much? You saw her at Transfigurations. She looked bad!” James said.

“Yes, and now she doesn’t!” Sirius said motioning towards her with his hand and continued, “You are saying that she was crying over Snape, because he is dead, and after one talk with McGonagall, now she is fine?”

“I don’t know! But what could have upset her so much that she would cry like that?” James answered.

Sirius shrugged. “Well, she won’t be the first girl who has cried over stupid stuff.”

“She is not like that! If she was upset, then it was definitely something important!” James said in defense.

This exclamation was followed by Remus shushing them and P rofessor Sprout coming over so their conversation was stopped. However, James promised himself to get to the bottom of the matter. Another thing that was bothering James was that, if the reason Evans was crying was not Snape then she still didn’t know about him. Should they tell her about it, since it seemed the professors hadn’t yet? She definitely would want to attend his funeral. His thoughts were interrupted as the plant he was working on nipped his finger. He drew his hand away and noticing the small droplet of blood, took Remus’ offered handkerchief and wiped at it. Seeing that it stopped bleeding already, he went back to his work, trying to copy whatever Remus was doing.

~~oOo~~

The whole day, Mary and Alice tried to get Lily to talk, only to be dismissed. The best answer they got was that she was mistaken about something which upset her. It was unclear whether what she wrongly believed had upset her or the fact that she was mistaken about something. The onlookers noticed the whispered discussion between three witches and how it seemed one or more members of Maraudars where always nearby to eavesdrop.

Some other students who always enjoyed gossip were interested. They had some theories, as well, which varied from Lily getting dumped by her secret boyfriend, to her being pregnant, or to her getting expelled for some offense. Some Slytherins commented that it was because she found out what a worthless mudblood she was and she was okay now because McGonagall probably told her that the school doesn’t care about worthiness anymore.

Lily was unaware of all the gossip that was following her. She was just a little annoyed with her friends’ insistent queries, but she did not have it in her to show her annoyance. The news that Severus was alive, that they still could make up, caused a feeling of peace to engulf her. When McGonagall told her, she could not believe it. At one point, she even speculated that probably she was still in her bed in the dormitories and is dreaming about all of this. A few pinches put an end to that theory. But she still couldn’t believe it. It was like someone had heard her wishing to have another chance to patch up things with Severus and just made it come true. And now, nothing could bring down her mood.

She just kept thinking and thinking about when she visits Severus. How both of them will apologize and they will make up. How this time their friendship would be stronger, unbreakable. Because Severus cannot be totally lost if he agreed to allow the headmaster to be his guardian and also, because now that Dumbledore was Severus’ guardian, he would keep him from the bad influences of his housemates. He will show Severus that it is wrong to use dark magic. And once Severus changes, stops using dark magic, and quit hanging around those bullies then her friends would stop pestering her about being friends with Severus. They might even befriend her Slytherin friend and then all the problems would be solved. Severus would have other friends to hang around with and she wouldn’t need to choose between her friends.

Chapter Text

Minerva didn’t remember her plan to visit Severus until the next day after breakfast. Having to teach two classes in the morning, she promised herself to do so after her two classes. When the last student exited her second class, she left the classroom as well, heading towards the headmaster’s office.

Reaching there, she found the office empty. So she made her way toward the headmaster’s quarters. The door to Severus’ room was ajar and she could hear Albus’ voice from there so she made her way there. She knocked and when she heard Albus’ voice telling her to come in, she went inside.

Severus was in a dark green pajamas, lying on the bed. His dark hair was fanned on the pillow slightly wet, no doubt from a recent bath. Albus was standing near the foot of his bed. Minerva entered the room and was going to close the door, but Albus stopped her, saying he needed to get something. Minerva used the opportunity and approached Severus’ bed quickly. Severus was staring at somewhere at the foot of his bed and it seemed he had not noticed Minerva’s presence, so she said, “Hello, Severus.”

Severus who was startled from his thoughts looked at her, and for a moment he seemed surprised at seeing her, then he said moodily. “Hello, P rofessor,” and returned to staring at the foot of his bed with a frown. Minerva followed his line of sight, only to come across… red socks with gold snitches. Minerva frowned, as well, and said, “I do not understand. I could swear that I returned all the red or weirdly colored socks he had picked up .”

She then drew her wand and tapped the socks with a “Finite Incantadem.” Instantly, the socks turned to their original color: light gray. Both occupants of the room sighed; Severus in relief to be free of the offending color and Minerva in exasperation about Albus’ childish actions.

With that problem solved, Minerva turned to Severus and said, “How are you feeling?”

“I am well, Professor.” Severus answered defensively.

“Well, you are obviously not, but you will be.” Minerva said kindly, before asking what she actually wanted to know. “Is the headmaster treating you well?”

Severus’ shocked eyes found hers as he was too speechless to answer. Severus couldn’t understand why McGonagall was asking this question. The only possible reason could be that it was some sort of trap. To what purpose, Severus didn’t know, but he knew he was not going to play their games, so he said,

“What is that suppose to mean?” At McGonagall’s look he hastily added, “Professor.”

McGonagall was silent for a few moments before saying, “You had some concerns in regards to accepting the headmaster as your guardian. What I am asking is now that he has been your guardian for a few days, do your concerns have any grounds?”

She was mocking him, Severus decided. It was something that Severus would have expected from Dumbledore rather than McGonagall. However, while McGonagall didn’t side with Marauders like Dumbledore did, it had always been clear that she didn’t exactly like him.

It might have had something to do with the fact that Severus usually struggled with the practicals of Transfiguration, especially when they had just learned it. The fact that his mother’s copy of Transfiguration textbook didn’t have some of the topics that were covered in class or that their explanations were not detailed, also put Severus at a disadvantage. Or maybe McGonagall's dislike of him had something to do with the fact that in the first year, Severus had objected to her methods of teaching several times. That was before Lily had told him he was being rude and he should stop it. Severus did apologize to McGonagall, but he had a feeling that the professor didn’t like him and treated him differently than other students.

Severus noticed that he had been quiet for some time and said quickly. “No, professor.” He tried to hide his bitterness, but he couldn’t suppress it all. Severus looked at professor’s face to gauge her reaction and seeing the frown, he was sure that she didn’t miss the bitterness in his voice either.

Severus cursed in his mind. He always tried to be polite toward the teachers. The reason was a combination of his mother’s teaching, his excuse of a father’s teachings (through beating), and the worry that the professor would use this as an excuse to fail him. And failing was something that he could not afford. His only chance to have a decent life was for him to be best at all his subjects; something that he struggled to maintain all these years.

But now…now offending a professor had taken a whole new importance. One word, one complaint from a professor to Dumbledore and Severus could say goodbye to any decent life during and after Hogwarts. If he thought his life so far was hard, it would be ten times worse then. And considering Dumbledore’s influence in the Ministry and the Wizarding Britain in general, Severus’ best shot would be to look for apprenticeship outside of Britain. And that would be only possible with high marks and reference letters from professors which would depend on what Dumbledore would say. So, in total Severus’ life was ruined. And once again Severus wondered why on earth had he agreed to do this.

The rational part of his mind told him that what’s done is done and that all he must do now is to not make it worse by offending Dumbledore or another one of the professors. So Severus gathered all his energy to hide his emotions, averted his eyes, and apologized, “I’m sorry,” he said quietly and turned his head away from McGonagall.

Minerva was confused. She wanted to use the time she was alone with Severus to ask about how Albus was treating the boy. What she didn’t expect was the defensive answer. However, what really threw her was the bitterness, the few seconds of a closed off expression, and the apology. She was not sure what was going on in the boy’s head. The only conclusion Minerva could come up with was that something has happened that he was not telling. Maybe they had argued and Severus was bitter about having to put up with Albus? Minerva just hoped that – for Albus’ sake – he hadn’t repeated his action toward Severus after that incident. If he had argued or treated Severus badly and then told Severus to tell no one, Minerva was going to kill him!

It was at that moment that Dumbledore returned with a towel in hand. He helped Severus to raise his head, dried the pillow with a wave of his wand, and put the towel on the pillow before laying Severus’ head on the pillow again.

Minerva knew that there was only one way to find out what has happened and it was through Albus. So she patted Severus on his leg and said, “Rest well, Severus.” She then looked at Albus and said, “Albus, a word please.”

“Of course.” Albus answered as he finished pulling blankets over Severus after which Minerva made her way out of the room with Albus closely behind.

Severus cursed in his mind. It was obvious what that ‘one word’ she was going to have with Dumbledore, was about! All this time Severus tried to be polite and respectful toward the teachers and staff… had spend a lot of time learning proper behavior in the Wizarding World from his housemates, only to mess up at the worst possible time. What worried Severus was how Dumbledore was going to react. So far Severus had not deliberately done anything that would anger Dumbledore. But this was something totally different!

As those thoughts were going through Severus’ mind, the adults sat down in Dumbledore’s office before Minerva blurted out. “What happened, Albus?”

“What do you mean?” Albus asked surprised.

“Don’t play ignorant. Something has happened! What is it?”

“I’m afraid I have no idea what you are talking about, Minerva.”

“I was just talking with Severus about how he was feeling and how it has been being your ward. His answers were defensive, like he was hiding something. When I asked him if his concerns regarding your guardianship had any ground, he answered me in negative, in a bitter way and with a frown. He was upset about something! So, are you going to tell me what has happened or not?”

“I am confused and concerned, as well, Minerva. Because nothing has really happened! He was calm and well since he woke up. Nothing has happened today to upset him. Well, unless you count the color of his socks, which I noticed, you turned to their original state. So there is really nothing for him to be upset about.”

“Then what made him react like that?” Minerva asked, her lips pursed.

“I don’t know, but I’m going to give him his lunch soon so I can try to see what has upset him so much.”

Minerva nodded and said. “And when you are talking with him, maybe it would be a good idea to ask him about his belongings at his home. I know that you wanted to wait until he was better before taking him there to collect them, but when Rosaline was last here, I talked to her about the process. She said that when the hearing is held and the case is won, they will notify Severus’ father that he is no longer his guardian. Also, they are going to notify him that he will not be receiving any money–”

Albus interrupted her. “ Only notify him? Aren’t they going to arrest him for what he did to Severus?”

“No, apparently Muggles are not as advanced as us when it concerns children. As his guardian, his father is allowed to use physical punishment in any way that he wants. Apparently, it is neither illegal in Muggle world to mistreat children, nor it is uncommon.”

There was a frown on Dumbledore’s face, as he contemplated this and then he said, “Well, in that case, maybe we should look out for such occurrences among the M uggleborns and the H alf- B loods.”

“Yes, we should. But what I wanted to say was that we don’t know how Severus’ father will react when he finds out that he has no authority over Severus anymore. He might destroy all of Severus’ belongings in his anger. So, I think we should go there sooner and get them.”

“Mmm...Yes, you are right. I will talk with Severus about it, today.”

~oOo~

Dumbledore returned some time later and asked an elf to bring Severus’ lunch. He asked Severus his routine questions - how he was feeling, level of pain, stiffness, numbness, and all the other problems that were to be expected. Severus answered negatively all the while being confused about Dumbledore’s behavior. Did McGonagall not tell on him? If not, then what had she wanted to talk about with Dumbledore? If she did, then why was Dumbledore not angry?

The lunch was a rather short affair, with Severus still being unable to eat by himself and unable to take more than several spoonful. Dumbledore told him that he expected Severus to eat more than half of his bowl of soup tomorrow. After that was done, Dumbledore sat in the chair beside the bed. There was a few moments of silence, as Dumbledore was contemplating how to approach the subject of Minerva’s conversation with Severus. Not finding any idea, he put it aside to think about later and started on the other subject Minerva mentioned.

“Severus, there is something that I need to talk you about it… Is there anything at your home that you want? Of course, when you are feeling better, we are going shopping to buy anything you need. But I was wondering if maybe there are some items that you might like to have back,” Dumbledore said, but seeing the blank expressionless face of Severus made him elaborate. “You know anything that has sentimental meaning for you.”

While speaking, Dumbledore had tried to study Severus without making it obvious and so far he hadn’t seen any sign of bitterness or any sign that Severus was upset. The only thing he had picked up on was an air of nervousness, confusion, and fear which Dumbledore had come to associate with how Severus currently perceived him. He hoped that it would change in time, but for now it was something he needed to get used to. After he asked his question, Dumbledore noticed a change in Severus. Now there was another emotion mixed with previous ones: Suspicion. Sure enough Severus asked, “Why are you interested to know,….sir?” Severus added the last part as he remembered his thoughts before lunch.

“Well, because I planned to take you there when you are feeling better to pick up any of your belongings that you want. However, we are afraid that your father might damage or try to destroy your things by then, so if there are any things there that you want, please tell me now. I can go and pick them up tonight.”

When Severus didn’t say anything, Dumbledore asked. “So is there anything that you want?”

There was a few moments of silence before Severus said reluctantly, “Yes.”

“What are they? And where should look for them?”

Severus hesitated for a moment before saying “My trunk.”

“Where did you put it last?”

With a look of anxiousness mixed with anger and bitterness, Severus answered. “He took it from me.” H e looked away.

“I’ll find it. So is there anything else?” Severus didn’t answer. There was a few moments of silence, before Dumbledore prompted. “Severus?”

“You said we can go there when I’m feeling better, right sir?”

“Yes, but we don’t know how long that will take so I am suggesting that if there is anything that you might need for the following months, you tell me now, so I can bring it back.”

At that, Severus looked conflicted, so Dumbledore stayed silent to give him time to make a decision. It took him several minutes, but in the end Severus made up his mind. He turned to Dumbledore and said,

“There is a loose board in my room under my bed. My wand is there and I need it…..I guess you can bring everything else which is there, as well…uh my room is on the second floor at the end of the hallway.”

Dumbledore nodded and said. “I’ll bring them. We can bring the rest of your stuff later, if you want.” Dumbledore added the last part when he saw how reluctant Severus was about telling him where his stuff was.

“I don’t own anything else so there is no need for that.” Severus said defensively as he was embarrassed about his situation.

“Well then, I’ll go tonight and get them, but for now, you should rest.”

Dumbledore got up from his place and approached the bed with a speed that belied his age. He ignored Severus’ flinch, pulled up and straightened his blanket, and brushed Severus hair from his face. Then he left the room.

The first day was very hard for Dumbledore. Every time he got close to Severus or touched him, Severus flinched. At first Severus’ reaction made Dumbledore to retract his hand or stop in his track. However, as time went on, Dumbledore got used to it and tried to not react to it. At the same time, he started to force himself to show Severus he cared when the opportunity arose, b e it verbally or physically. A caress on the head here, a pat on the hands there, a ‘good night’ or ‘rest well’ now and again. He was not sure how successful he was in getting his message across.

While he had been headmaster for decades he had never had dealt with the children on a day to day basis. Usually he only dealt with the most severe cases of misbehaving children and he deals with them firmly and severely. He never had to deal with a child on a daily basis, a child who had reason to doubt his motivation for helping him and who currently was completely dependent on him.

~oOo~

After dinner Albus and Minerva made their way outside of the wards and disap p arated. A few minutes later, they found themselves in front of the last house in Spinner End. Making sure that no one was around, they made their wa y toward the front door of the house and one A lohomora later, they were in. Lighting their wands, they looked around, then Albus tried to summon Severus’ trunk. When nothing happened, he tried again.

“Maybe it’s locked up and cannot be summoned,” Minerva said.

Albus nodded his head in agreement and instead made his way toward Severus’ room on the second floor. The room was small and tidy, there was several layer of dust on everything, but other than that it looked clean. There was one battered closet, one small desk, and one single bed. It was clinical and empty of any personal touch. Either Severus didn’t decorate his room – because of personal taste or his father has already removed them. Wondering if that meant that Severus’ wand was gone as well, Albus immediately moved the bed aside and slowly knelt down to check for the loose floor board. He could not find it immediately, but he could feel some magic around that part of the floor. So he started to cast some spells with his wand to detect any spells cast by Severus and found an assortment of concealing spells including a ‘Notice Me Not’ charm.

Minerva who was standing beside Albus silently asked, “What is it Albus? What are you looking for?”

“Severus said he had hidden his wand inside a space under the floor. A loose floor board was his way of accessing it, but I cannot find it. I believe Severus had cast some concealing charm on it so I am taking them down.”

“Clever boy,” Minerva said.

As soon as Albus took down the spells, they noticed a broken board near the wall. Putting the board aside, Albus saw that Severus’ wand was still there and so were a bunch of other stuff. There was a pile of shrunken books, a pile of some sort of folded paper bounded with a string, a few small knickknacks with wrapping paper neatly folded beneath them and what seemed to be a white bundle. Albus first took out the wand and put it in his pocket. Then he took out a tiny chest out of his pocket, put it on the ground and unshrunk it. Then he started to take the stuff in the hole out. He didn’t want to intrude on Severus’ privacy, but he couldn’t help being curious about the stuff that Severus had hidden here. So he took out the books first and unshrunk them. Minerva must have somewhat agreed since she knelt down beside him and started to look at the books.

Most of the books were the reference texts needed for the sixth and seventh years, but they looked to be the old versions of the books – about thirty years old. Opening the cover, Albus could see in a corner of the first page the name ‘Eileen Prince’. What was interesting was the loopy handwritten text inside the cover with the phrase, ‘Property of the Half Blood Prince’.

“Well, it is no wonder that he had problem with practicals of Transfiguration, if he has been using his mother’s books. There are some topics in the new version which are not in the old ones. Also, the old versions didn’t give as much details about wand movements and the possible mistakes the students can make.” Looking Albus in the eye, she continued, “You know, I didn’t really like him since the first year. First year he was very rude several times and questioned my methods of teaching. Sometime later, he apologized and after that was always very respectful, but he still had a lot of difficulties with the practicals and sometimes even the theory. I used to think that it was because he had not done the reading assignment I gave them. I thought he underrated my course deliberately and he spent the time he should have been studying with his friends or studying his favorite subject, potions. It bothered me that he treated my class so lightly, but did well in all his other courses. After all, when I asked others, none of them had faced as much problem from Severus. Now I think maybe it was because transfiguration textbook has changed the most of all the subjects taught and it made his textbook almost useless.”

Albus put his hand on her arm in reassurance and said, “We all made the mistake of making assumption about him, but at least now we have a chance to make it right.” With that they started to put the books inside the chest. A few of the books were about curses and counter-curses and there was one book about Dark Arts. It was clear that all these books had belonged to Eileen. Albus put those books aside to look at later. If the content of the books were what he thought they were, then Albus was going to keep them for now. He would give them to Severus when he was older and more aware of the consequence of practicing some of those curses and the Dark Arts. There were a few other books: some of them were M uggle books which Albus considered safe and put in the chest and a few others about the Statute of Secrecy and Wizarding Britain’s old traditions which Albus put beside the Dark Arts book. If nothing else, looking at these books can help him understand Severus better.

Finishing with the books, Albus picked up the pile of papers and opened the string. They were all apparently the letters and notes passed between Severus and Miss. Evans. There was even a photo of them – a M uggle non-moving one. It was clearly from a time before their Hogwarts years. The sight of them brought a smile to both adults lips. Tying the string again and putting them inside the chest, as well, they moved to the few knickknacks – obviously gifts – with their wrapping paper and few muggle postal cards beneath them, all of which were apparently from Miss. Evans. These were transferred to the chest and they moved to the last item, the bulging white bundle. Opening the package, they saw that it was full of sandwiches. More specifically, it was full of sandwiches which Hogwarts house elves were famous for. And all of them were in some state of going bad which meant that the possible preserving charm on them had wore off.

Albus doubted Severus would ever ask the elves for the food and he doubted that he took them from Great Hall where everyone could see. But in the end, it didn’t matter how Severus got hold of those sandwiches; what mattered was that he had had to do so. It was just another point as to how every adult in Severus’ life had failed him. The fact that he had to provide himself with the basic necessities in any way he could because he knew no one else would – was like a blow to his gut.

An interesting fact was the charm placed on the food; it must have been a very strong preserving charm if it preserved the food for more than three month and a faint residue of the charm could still be felt. Minerva’s next words mirrored his thoughts, “His preserving charm must be very strong if the state of some of these sandwiches is any indication.”

Albus nodded and said, “Yes, and just when I think there is no other way that I might have failed him, something new comes up.”

“Mmm… and I cannot help thinking that if we missed this much, then what else did we miss? How many students go through the same thing without us knowing or helping them.”

“We cannot do anything about it except keeping an eye out for such cases in the future. But for now we must go. My knees don’t appreciate me kneeling on this hard floor any longer,” Albus said.

Then he picked up the books he puts aside while Minerva closed the lid of the chest, secured it, shrank it, and put it in her pocket. After making sure they have not missed anything and turning back everything to their earlier position, they made their way toward the door of Severus’ room.

As they reached the top of the stairs, they heard sound of front door opening and slamming shut. Albus, who remembered about Severus’ trunk made his way down stairs, followed closely by Minerva. There was a lone electric bulb lighting in the hallway downstairs. When Severus’ father saw them, he shouted, “Who the hell are you? What are you doing in my house?”

Dumbledore standing tall with his wand in his hand said, “I am Severus’ guardian –”

“Guardian? I am his father, so I’m his bloody guardian!” Severus’ father slurred.

“Not any more. Not if I have anything to do about it!” Dumbledore said.

McGonagall added, “You don’t have any right to call yourself his father. You had a child so bright and all you did was to hurt him. A father is the last thing you are!”

“I don’t know how that good for nothing, ungrateful brat ran to you and what he’s told you, but as his father I can discipline him in any way I want. He is my son and you have no right to keep him. Return him, Freaks or I’ll call the police.” He waved the bottle in his hand for emphasis.

In a movement that belied his age, Albus went to e to toe with Severus’ father, pointing his wand in man’s face. “ You will never see Severus again and will not even try to if you know what is good for you. Also, you are not going to get even one more coin from his inheritance. I have not come here to argue about taking him away from you. I came here to take his belongings so he never has to look at this horrible place or your face ever again . Now, tell me where is Severus’ trunk? What did you do with it?” Dumbledore’s voice was low and menacing. It was a side of him that rarely anyone had seen, McGonagall thought.

Severus’ father thoroughly cowed, stuttered, “I tried to burn the blasted thing, but it wouldn’t catch fire and it was making strange noises so I just left it in the shed.” He pointed toward the kitchen.

Dumbledore removed his wand from drunk man’s face and turned quickly towards the kitchen followed by Minerva.

Severus’ father startled from the sudden movement stumbled backwards which, in his drunken state, caused him to topple over.

Dumbledore and McGonagall made their way toward the shed at the other end of the back yard. Inside the shed, they saw a battered old trunk, blackened with soot in the corner. Even without checking with their wands, they could feel the magic surround ing the trunk. Taking out his wand Dumbledore moved the trunk from the corner and started to detect and unravel the protective spells on it.

The number of preserving charms and protective spells was astonishing. What was even more astonishing was the power behind some of those spells and the purpose of some of those spells. There were protective spells against Muggle fire, Magical fire, getting wet, getting tampered with or broken into, by many kinds of repelling spells and different preserving charm for different materials. There were protective spells over the lock which prevented them breaking under any measure of brute force and some spells that, regardless of the circumstances, would make the trunk float on any liquid and not sink. Some of the spells which were anti-tampering ones, turned the spell cast on the trunk back on the caster. Some of them were dark protective spells which gave the culprit some nasty welts or burns.

Albus removed the dark spells and any other spells which prevented him from opening it, all the while thinking that why Severus needed so many protective spells and for such a variety of purposes at that. Was it because Severus was afraid that his father, housemates, or Marauders would damage his things? Or was it because they had already done it and Severus had to come up with a way to protect his things? Albus shook his head. These thoughts were of no help. Now all he could do was to help Severus. He hoped that in time Severus would trust him enough to confide in him about the troubles that he faced and would face.

Opening the trunk, Albus saw that many of the items in the trunk seemed burnt. Also, it look liked that something had exploded as some things had been damaged while others appeared to be in better condition. On a closer look, the center of the explosion seemed to be what used to be a potion’s kit. It seemed that when Severus’ father tried to burn the trunk, the trunk didn’t catch fire because of the protective charm, but the heat made something inside the potion kit explode and as a result many of the items had caught fire. It seemed some of them had not been spelled against a natural fire, only a magical fire as it seemed to be the case here. Albus wanted to look for anything that could be salvaged, but Minerva put a hand on his arm and stopped him.

“Let’s take the whole thing so Severus can look at it himself. It should be his decision to what to keep and what to throw out,” Minerva said calmly. But Albus knew better than to believe her calm attitude. She was angry at Severus’ father and at him and herself for not thinking about that sooner. Now Severus has lost some of the few possessions that he had.

Albus nodded and with a flick of his wand, he closed and secured the trunk, then he shrank it and put it in his pocket. After a glance around, they both disapparated, leaving the mostly empty shed behind without any trace except for the footprints on the dusty floor.

Chapter Text

The next morning, Severus woke up when the door to his room was opened. He saw Dumbledore step in holding a chest, with his trunk floating behind him; his blackened trunk, to be exact. At that moment, he was happy that he had charmed his trunk to be resistant to muggle fire.

“Good morning.” Dumbledore said. Severus observed his expression. His usual smile was absent, but his face was not grim, angry, or unhappy. It was...neutral.

“G’od ‘orning.” Severus said his voice sleepy.

“How are you feeling today?”

A shrug. “Fine. Are these my stuffs?”

“Yes.” Dumbledore put the chest on the bureau near the door. The trunk floated at the foot of the bed. “Professor McGonagall and I went last night and collected your stuff. Here is your wand.” He took the wand out of his pocket and put it on the nightstand. “The chest contains all the other stuff under the floor board, as well as, most of the books.”

“Most of the books?” Severus asked confused.

“Yes, all except the dark arts books, which will remain in my possession for now.”

Severus woke up completely, as his anger flared up. “They are my books. You have no right to take them!”

“I will return them when you are older and have a better understanding of what Dark Arts is.” Dumbledore said evenly.

“I am almost of age! You cannot tell me what to do!” Severus said angrily.

“Yes, almost of age, but you are not of age. Not yet. And as your guardian, I can keep them from you. I might return them, after we had a conversation about the reasons and consequences of dealing with Dark Arts. That is final!” Dumbledore said firmly.

Severus glared at Dumbledore and grumbled under his breath, but didn’t continue. Seeing this, Dumbledore moved on to the next topic. A look at the trunk at the foot of the bed and his eyes softened.

“There is another matter, as well. As you can see your father tried to burn your trunk.”

“But it is charmed against fire.” Severus said confidently.

“Yes, but the charm does not prevent it from heating up, which we suspect is what has happened.” Severus' expression dropped as dread filled him.

Dumbledore continued his tone grave. “It looks like that something in your potion kit has caught fire and damaged a lot of the stuff in the trunk. I’m sorry.”

Tears welled up in Severus’ eyes. Maybe he was overreacting, considering everything that has happened to him recently, but he could not stop thinking about his mother’s diary, which she had gifted to him on his eleventh birthday. The last piece of her which he had.

Dumbledore put his hand on Severus's shoulder and squeezed gently to comfort him. Instead it only made Severus cry harder as a sob tore from his throat. Wanting to console his young charge, Dumbledore sat down beside him on the bed and embraced Severus. The teenager continued to cry for some time, but little by little, he started to calm down.

Wanting to cheer up his ward, he thought about his conversation with Minerva and thought it might be a good idea to mention Miss. Evans request to visit Severus. So when Severus was completely calm, he cleared his throat and said.

“By the way, Severus, when do you think you would feel up to having visitors?”

“Visitors?” Severus asked his voice thick from crying.

“Yes, a certain Miss. Evans wants to visit you.”

“What? Why….why would….how...how does she knows I’m here?” Severus asked incredulously.

Dumbledore knew that he needs to choose his words carefully, as Severus and Lily’s friendship might completely depend on his words. “The night we brought you to Hogwarts, she accidentally found out about you. She came to my office, insisting to know what happened to you. I did not want to violate your privacy, but seeing her desperation, I told her that it was your father. But nothing more than that. I thought you wouldn’t mind her knowing that much, since she is your friend.

When she found out you have woke up. She told Min-I mean Professor McGonagall about her interest to visit you. We told her that she needs to wait until you are feeling better and ready to accept visitors, but I was thinking that if you want, we can arrange for her to visit you this week.”

Dumbledore who expected Severus to be elated was surprised when instead he said. “No.”

“No?”

Severus averted his eyes and said. “No, I don’t want to see her now.”

“But why?”

“Why?” Severus repeated like his answer was obvious and he was confused about Dumbledore’s question. “Why would I want to see her….for her to see me, when I’m like this? I can’t even hold a book with my hands.”

“Ah, well then, we will schedule it for next week. By then I’m sure your condition has improved greatly.”

“That’s not…” Severus started his objection, but trailed off when he looked into Dumbledore’s twinkling eyes. He got the feeling that Dumbledore already knew that was not what Severus meant and was just playing ignorant.

At that thought, Severus closed his mouth. He should not forget that now his life was in Dumbledore’s hands, literary and figuratively. While the headmaster had decided, out of pity, to help him, he should not forget that he is the same person who easily discarded his life, last year. Now Severus’ very future was dependent on Dumbledore’s every whim.

Taking Severus’ silence as agreement, Dumbledore said. “Excellent.” Then glancing at the clock, he continued. “Now let’s get you cleaned up and get you some breakfast, as well. Because Poppy is going to be here with your potions soon. I will let Professor McGonagall know about Miss. Evans’ visit next week.”

~~oOo~~

It was four days since Dumbledore told him about Lily’s visit and Severus spend the whole time dreading the event. Something that was strange, even for himself. If something like this happened at the end of last year, he would have been ecstatic, but now, he could not help but expecting the worst. He kept thinking that Lily was going to come to just tell him how much he deserved it,….or worse: she had seen his condition and pitied him and wanted to be friends with him out of pity. Not because she actually wanted, but because he was such a pathetic creature that her kindness out-weighted her resentment of him.

A voice in his mind told him that the fact that she went to Dumbledore’s office to find out what happened, meant that she cared. She cared enough in the first place to try find out what happened. But Severus pushed that aside. He shouldn’t let his hope up. It would lead to complete disappointment. It always does, if the events in his life were any indication.

Three days remained until Lily’s visit and Severus was tired and ready to get the whole ordeal over with. Madam Pomfrey was reducing his intake of Dreamless Sleep potion. So, he was sure that if he was not still recovering – and thus so lethargic – then he would not have gotten even a wink of sleep.

The only positive thing during the last four days was that Severus has gotten stronger, to the point that he could sit up in his bed by himself. His hands had became stronger, as well and now he could feed himself. Also, he stayed awake for a longer period, as well.

But he could not enjoy that accomplishment, because he could not stop thinking about Lily’s visit. It was going to happen in three days time, in the morning; when, according to Professor McGonagall, Lily had a free period. Severus could not stop thinking about how it would go. What she would think, seeing him like this….knowing about his father. And every question came back to just this: Why Lily wanted to see him? What made her want to do it? From what he remembers, she didn’t want to do anything with him. So why? What changed? Why now? The questions keep going round and round in his mind, not giving him any reprieve.

It was near noon and Severus felt he was going mad with nothing to do. Alone with only his thoughts for company. Desperate to find something to distract himself, he sat up in bed and looked around his room. The room was barely furnished – Dumbledore said that Severus was supposed to decorate it when he felt better. There was nothing personal about them. One of the two personal items that showed someone was living here, was the small chest on the bureau that contained his stuff. The second item was his blackened trunk. Looking at it, brought tears to Severus’ eyes, again, as he was again reminded of his mother’s diary. Gathering his courage, he decided to finally open his trunk and see the extend of the damage.

His legs were not strong enough, yet, but he thought since his trunk was at the foot of his bed, he could make the two steps needed to reach it. Also, it was the only distraction he had, so he pushed away his blanket slowly and made his way to the edge of bed. The moment his feet touched the floor, he knew that trying to stand was a mistake. His knees buckled immediately and he fell to the floor. The floor was cold and uncomfortable and Severus didn’t know how he was supposed to get back in bed, again. A minute later, the door opened and Dumbledore walked in. Seeing Severus on the floor, he quickly came to his aid and helped him back in bed.

“Severus! What were you doing out of bed?”

Severus flushed from embarrassment. Not wanting to discuss his mother’s diary or his trunk in general, he chose the first thing that came to his mind.

“I was bored and I wanted to get one of my school books from the chest, to read.”

“You should have waited for me or called for a house elf. You could have hurt yourself and it could have activated your bracelet. Until your hearing is held and everything is finalized, you should be more careful. It would waste all of our efforts.”

Feeling embarrassed and stupid, Severus dropped his head and hided behind his hairs. Seeing this, Dumbledore moved on from the topic.

“But it is a good thing that you feel up to do some readings. I was planning to have a talk with you about your education, when you were feeling better. But if you feel up to it, we can talk about it now.”

That got Severus's attention and he nodded his head.

“Well, now you are in your NEWT years, so before talking about your courses, I would like to know about your meeting last year with your head of house.”

“What meeting” A confused Severus asked.

“Didn’t Horace meet you for giving a career advice?”

“No” Severus said dryly. ‘Oh, Horace’ Dumbledore thought.

“Though I didn’t need it anyway.” At Dumbledore’s surprised look, he continued. “My best bet was to find a benefactor who would support me and recommend me to a potion master.” And Dumbledore knew exactly how he was going to achieve it. Something that he planned to change.

“Well, I think that you do not give yourself enough credit. Now….I know that you are good at potion.” an understatement “But if you just wanted to choose a career based on your liking, would you still choose to become a potion master?”

Severus looked at him, his face screwed in a frown, like he was trying to figure out what was the catch. After a few moments of silence, he finally relented and said with a shrug. “I like potions, but for my career, I would like to work on an interdisciplinary field. Something that poses more challenges. I was hoping that after I got my potion mastery, I would get to work on mixing potions and spells or work on potions that would affect wards.” After seeing the intense look Dumbledore was giving him, Severus regretted adding the last sentence.

Truth was that, he never told anyone about his ideas. When they were children, he had talked with Lily about his dream career, but that was before he realized that creating new potions, while fascinating, will not satisfy him. Other than that, this was the first time someone was actually interested in what he wanted and for a moment he forgot who he was talking to. He forgot that he shouldn’t trust Dumbledore. Dumbledore already knew too much about him and had too much power over him. Sharing something so personal would give him even more power. Severus promised himself that from that point, he would be more careful about what he told Dumbledore.

Unbeknownst to what was going in Severus's mind, Dumbledore’s head was reeling from the ingenuity of the ideas. While the idea of potion-spells were not exactly new, creating potions that would affect wards, was. And what was even more important, was that this idea was exactly the type of things that could give them an edge in the war.

At that moment, he knew that he made the right decision to support Severus. Severus, with his level of intelligence and skill, was exactly the type of person that the side of light needed. And as Severus's guardian, he was in the perfect position to influence Severus and bring him to the right side. Thinking like that, Albus’ every effort was like an investment. With that in mind, he said.

“Those are very interesting ideas, but if you want, instead of apprenticing in potions, you can apprentice in a more specific field that you like, such as potion-spell mastery, mage magic mastery, or even alchemy.” With every option, Severus’ eyes widened a little more. Dumbledore ignored Severus’ reaction and continued. “I know some of the people that work in these areas and I can recommend you. So, you only need to think about which field you like.” He stopped for a few moments to let his words sink in, before continuing. “But since all of these fields require similar NEWTs, I think we can skip it for now. So that you have more time to think about which field you would like to apprentice in. For all these fields you need a NEWT in Transfigurations, Potions, Herbology, Ancient Runes, Advanced Arithmancy Studies, Care of Magical Creatures, Astronomy, Charms, and Defense against Dark Arts. There was no demand for an Alchemy class, so that is not an option…..But if you are interested, I can give you some private tutoring in your free time.”

Severus was not sure what was happening. For a moment he thought he must be dreaming. There was no way Dumbledore actually meant that, because it was one thing to take Severus's guardianship out of pity. It was a completely different matter to offer to instruct him in Alchemy. There was no reason for Dumbledore’s sudden generosity and it meant that either he was dreaming or if he was awake, some trick was going on. But before he could think more on that and try to figure out where the trick was, Dumbledore continued. “So, when you are feeling up to it, you should start studying, in order to catch up with your classes. I can talk to your professors to see if they can tutor you privately to help you catch up. Minerva – I mean Professor McGonagall has already volunteered to help you with your Transfigurations class. We will see about other professors. I will order your textbooks, so you can start on the theoretical part as soon as you can. For the practicals, we need to wait for Po– Madam Pomfrey to give you a clean bill of health.” Here Dumbledore stopped, clearly waiting for a reaction from Severus.

Severus was not sure how he was supposed to feel, let alone how to react. He felt like he had walked into an alternative universe or something. Last year Dumbledore treated him like he was less than the dirt under his feet. Other professors were indifferent to his existence. Now, Dumbledore acted like he was his long lost child and McGonagall volunteered to help him with Transfigurations. ‘It is possibly because they pity him. The gallant Gryfindors saving and helping the poor pathetic Slytherin.’ He thought bitterly. While it made sense for McGonagall to act thusly on pity, Dumbledore’s behavior did not made sense. ‘Anyway, it is not like you can change it’ another part of his mind popped up. ‘So you might as well make the best of it, until it lasts. It is not that different from your situation with the other Slytherins.’

But that was not actually true. It was different with his housemates. With them, he knew that as long as he showed his talents and made himself useful – like helping them with the homework (or writing it for them), or brewed and sold potions to them, then he would be left alone or in Lucius’ case, have their support to build a future for himself. The problem with dealing with Dumbledore and McGonagall was that he didn’t know where he stood with them. He didn’t know when their well of pity would dry off and leave him to fend for himself. But the voice in his mind was right about one thing: He could not change anything about it, so he might as well make the best of it while it lasts. Having made up his mind, he said in a respectful tone. “I would appreciate that, Sir.”

“Excellent!” Dumbledore exclaimed happily. “So that’s settled. Now let’s get you something to eat for lunch.”

~~oOo~~

Too soon for Severus's comfort, the day of Lily’s visit arrived. He didn’t sleep well last night. He had this strange dream about a hooded figure – which turned to his father, then to Lucius, Dumbledore, and Lily – belittling and humiliating him and telling him what a worthless pathetic creature he was. All the while Potter and Black were dancing with a transformed Werewolf-Lupin in the background, while Pettigrew and some of his Slytherin’s housemates were singing out of tune, a song about the full moon. Afterwards, no matter how tired he was or how much he tried, he could not go back to sleep. It was with trepidation that he ate his breakfast and made himself comfortable to wait for McGonagall to show up with Lily.

~~oOo~~

Lily was sitting at the breakfast table with her friends. She was done eating, but since she had a free period next, she was in no hurry to go. It was just the middle of October, but she was totally exhausted from the school work. The situation with Severus was making things worse for her. Patience was never her strong suit and now she was left with only a promise that she would be able to visit Severus when he was better.

Shaking her head, she came back to the present and listened to Alice who was talking, yet again, about how she received a letter from the ‘now Headboy’ Frank Longbottom over the summer. Lily did not know Frank very well, but she saw how he was looking at her friend since their third year. Also, she knew that Alice had a crush on Frank since last year, when he stood up to some Slytherins and defended two first year Hufflepuff students. So it was nice to see that he finally gathered enough courage to make a move. True, he had not asked her out,...yet, but sending that letter was a step in the right direction.

Speaking about the right direction, tomorrow was the first Hogsmead trip and James has asked her to go out with him. Out of corner of her eyes, she could see him and his friends who were also sitting and chatting with each other. She had not answered him yet, but her friends were pushing her to give him a chance. She was thinking that it would not hurt to go out once with him. Her thought were interrupted as she heard someone clearing their throats behind her. Turning around, she looked up into the stern face of her head of house.

“Miss. Evans, please come with me.”

Lily who was surprised and confused, blurted out. “Professor, what is this about?” The Gryffindors table went silent, every one trying to see what was going on.

“This is about our talk a few days ago.” McGonagall said pointedly.

When Lily understood the meaning of the professors’ words, her breath caught in her throat. It was too early. She was not ready. She still had not figured out what she was going to say to him. Seeing that the professor was clearly waiting for her response, she nodded with a mumbled “yes, ma’am”, picked up her bag, and with a promise to her friends that she would catch up with them later, followed McGonagall out of the Great Hall. She did not see the concerned hazel eyes which were trailed on her back.

~~oOo~~

Five minutes after making himself comfortable, Severus felt like the wait will kill him. So, he called one of the house elves that Dumbledore usually calls, Tipsy, and asked him to give him one of the book in the chest on the bureau. He gave Severus what looked like his mother’s seventh year potion textbook. Severus opened the book and tried to read, knowing full well that he was not going to understand even one word of it.

~~oOo~~

Lily did not know what she expected, but going to Headmaster’s office and through there to Headmaster’s quarters was not it. Before she could take more than a glance at the living area, Professor McGonagall took her to a closed door and told her it was Severus's room. Lily stood there for a few moments hesitating, fully aware of the stare of her head of house, before she gathered her Gryffindor courage and knocked.

She heard Severus’ voice from the other side and her heart leapt. The last time she heard Severus's voice, was when he was apologizing to her, more then four months ago. At that time, she never thought that she was going to almost loose Severus to death. Shaking the thought away, she opened the door and went inside, not noticing her head of house departing. Severus was looking better than he did when she last saw him in Hospital Wing. He was still thinner than last year. His hair was also longer than how he kept it, but it was shiny and had a slight curl at the end. He was leaning against the headboard and was wearing black silk pajamas. There was a book open in his lap. In total, he looked different and at the same time, so Severus that it made her smile. She wanted to hug him. Then she finally made eye contact with her old friend and it wiped the smile of her face. The eyes that met hers were tired – ‘like he was tired of living’ a voice said at the back of her mind which she pushed away – and wary. She did not know why Severus would be wary of her and was not sure what she should do, so she cleared her throat and said simply. “Hi”

“Hi” Severus replied rather quietly.

They stared at each other for a few moments in silence, before Lily composed herself, closed the door, and sat down on the single chair beside the bed. But she still did not know to what to say. So there was another few moments of awkward silence. The awkwardness did not sit well with Lily. Severus was her friend for six years. While they had a falling out and had not seen each other for a few months, their interactions should not be this awkward. Wanting to get rid of this awkwardness, she squared her shoulders, met Severus's eyes, and asked “How are you?”

She got just a shrug as answer, but did not let that deter her. “I’m really glad that you are awake, I was really worried.” A part of Severus was happy. ‘She was worried! She still cares!’ Severus opened his mouth to reassure her, but instead what came out was:

“Why?”

“What?”

“Why were you worried? Why have you came today? Last I remember, you did not want to do anything with me.” It seemed that after that first question, he could not stop himself anymore.

“I was angry then!” Lily said. The conversation was going in a direction that she never thought of.

“What changed now?”

“Well, after I saw you in Hospital wing on the first night you were brought in, the headmaster sought me out and we had a talk in his office –” Severus's heart sank. Dumbledore lied. Lily did not want anything to do with him and was here solely because Dumbledore put her up to it.

“So you have not came because you cared, you came because Dumbledore told you to!” Severus said accusingly.

“That is not true!” Lily said, frustrated that Severus did not let her finish what she was saying.

“So what? You took pity on me because I’m like this?” Lily opened her mouth to object, but her eyes flicked and she hesitated for a moment. Taking that as an affirmation, Severus said. “That’s it! You took pity on me, because now I’m like this! Well, I don’t want your pity, so you can leave!” Severus said in anger. Just the thought that Lily found him to be this pathetic made him want to shrivel up and die.

“That’s not it, Severus! I really care about you!” Lily said heatedly, her temper rising, as well.

“Oh? If you care so much, then why you ended our friendship?” Severus said the word ‘care’ with a sneer.

“I ended it, because you didn’t care! Because you were befriending those Slytherin boys!”

“How is it that you can be friends with girls and boys of your house, but I can’t?”

“Because those Slytherins are evil! They are Death Eater wannabes! They –” Severus cut her off.

“I don’t think they would talk with you about their future plans, so I don’t see how you would know.” Severus said coldly. “And even if that is so, I don’t see –” Lily cut him off, this time.

“Severus, how can you say that?! They are practicing dark spells on the students. Have you forgotten what Mulciber did to Mary? He used a dark spell on her!”

“Do you or your friend, Mary, practice dark arts?” Severus said, trying to build up his argument.

“What? No! Of course not!” Lily denied strongly. At her response, Severus continued

“Then how do you know it was a dark spell? Has anyone with the knowledge of dark arts, ever confirm that a dark spell was used?”

“There is no need for that! It was obvious! A nasty spell like that can only be a dark spell!” Lily said like she was stating an obvious fact.

“So if every spell with a nasty effect is a dark spell, then how is it that what Potter and his gang do is not considered dark?” Severus said angrily.

“They won’t use nasty or dark spells!” Lily defended.

“So dumping me on my head is not nasty! Tripping me down three flight of stairs or making me chock to death on soapsuds wasn’t nasty! Of course, it wasn’t! Anything the Griffindor golden boys do to me is harmless schoolyard prank and whatever me or my housemates do is called nasty and dark!” Severus said bitterly.

“I did not say that!”

“No, you didn’t but your dear headmaster did! He even didn’t care whether I lived or died!” Severus replied.

“That is not true! He surely cares. McGonagall told me he had taken your guardianship. If he didn’t care why would he do that?” Lily tried to reason with Severus.

Severus snorted. “Maybe to keep an eye on a dark wizard in training… or maybe I’m of some use to him!”

“Stop it, Severus! Since you became friends with these Slytherin boys, you think everyone is against you!” Lily said angrily.

“But aren’t they?” Severus retorted.

“What?” Lily faltered for a moment, but then found her voice again. “No, they wouldn’t be if you were not like this! If you stopped using dark arts, stopped being friends with those boys,...if….if you tried to be more approachable, then you would see!”

“In other words, if I change myself and become what they want me to, then they would give me a chance?” Severus concluded coldly. “Is that what you did? Behaved how they wanted, so they would give you a chance?”

“What? No, don’t twist my words! And it is not like I said anything unreasonable! I only said to not use dark spells. I don’t understand why you would want to learn something that is only for hurting people!”

“How would you know that, when you hadn’t read one single book about dark arts?” Severus challenged.

“Everyone knows it! Professor Cuddmome explicitly said that last year!” Lily said frustrated. She did not understand why Severus was trying to be difficult on purpose. He was acting like he was ignorant of how awful dark arts were.

“Cuddmome is an imbecile who also said that even looking at a dark arts book on the shelf can make you loose your soul! How would he know anything about the dark arts, when he is even scared of looking at a dark arts book on the shelf!”

“Even if we don’t consider that, it is obvious. Take Killing Curse for example, how it can be anything other than evil?” Lily asked.

“It can be used for mercy killing, as well as, murder, but I didn’t say everything in the dark arts is good. However, why should I put the whole thing away just because it has some bad sides? After all, one can murder with a knife, as well, but I don’t see you putting aside using knives completely.” Severus said haughtily.

“That’s different!” Lily said indignantly.

“What is so different? Magic, light or dark, is like a knife, you can use it for good or bad. You can use a dark spell to protect others and at the same time, use a light spell to hurt innocent people.” Severus explained.

“No, that is not true! Light spells are not like that!” Lily argued.

“No? Do you know what happens if you summon something heavy when someone is standing on its path? Or what happens if you use Petrificus Totalus, tripping jinx, Mobilicorpus, Obscuro, or Stupify spell on someone on the edge of a high place or water edge? Or if you cast Jelly-leg curse on someone standing on top of stairs? Or if you cast Lumus Maxima directly in someone’s eyes or cast drying charm on their eyes?… Do you know what happens if you keep Scougrifying someone’s airway for too long or Augmantee charm for that matter!” With each words, Lily’s eyes grew wider. “And these are just some of the light spells that their purpose is not to hurt, but can be used for hurting people! There are other spells like Furnunculus which covers the victim in boils!” Severus said frustrated.

“Did James use all of those spells on you?” Lily asked, because she could not even imagine how would some of them would occur to Severus. Also, James has already used Scougrify on Severus, before Severus said that nasty word to her.

“That is not the point!” Severus said frustrated. “I’m saying that not all dark spells are nasty and meant to hurt! There are even dark healing spells! But even if all of dark spells were nasty, not studying them isn’t the answer! How are you supposed to fight something you don’t know? How can you know what to use against a dark spell, when you don’t know whether a shield spell can stop it or not? Or whether it can make any dangerous combination like exploding effect with simple spells like the disarming spell? If you don’t study the background of the making of the spell, its incantation, its structure, or its effect, how can you know how to fight it?” Severus tried to make Lily understand.

He didn’t mention that dark arts could be much more powerful than any light spells. That learning it makes him feel less helpless, it gave him the courage and confidence to fight Maraudars four to one. It made his housemates respect him a little and also more hesitant to harass him. It helped him feel powerful….less pathetic. During summers, it helped him to forget about his drunk father moving around the house, drinking and shouting. Learning the theories and mastering dark spells helped him believe in his intelligence, his skill. Because, unlike potions, Severus was not good at Dark Arts because he was a Prince – his mother always compared him to his grandfather when it came to potions –, no, he was good at dark arts, because of his efforts, not his genes. When learning dark arts, he passed challenge after challenge with hard work. It was the one thing where it was about only Severus. It had nothing to do with him being the boy from the wrong side of town, him being a Slytherin, being a Half-blood, being a Prince. So, no, dark arts was not about hurting people, it was about a lot more than that, specially to Severus. But he didn’t mention any of that, because after five years, he knew Lily would not understand. So he tried to put it in a way that would make sense to Lily.

“Fine, the study of the theoretical aspects of it might be useful, but it does not mean that you and your housemates should practice them!” Lily said spitefully.

“Ha! As if Dumbledore would let any Slytherin use dark arts in the school without punishing or expelling them! He, who is waiting to find any excuse to punish Slytherins!” They looked at each other for a few moments. Then suddenly Severus felt completely exhausted. It was like he had spent all his energy in this conversation, trying to make Lily understand, and all of that for what? Lily would never understand. Would never accept him as he is. His head dropped and his shoulders’ slumped at that thought. He sighed and said. “Well, maybe he does allow them, because apparently the only one who everyone have a problem with is me. Most probably because, as Potter and Black so aptly put it, I exist!” He chuckled humorlessly.

“That’s not true! I care for you, Severus” Lily said softly.

“Yes, that’s why you forgave Potter for threatening to hex you, but you didn’t forgave me for slip of a word!” Severus said mockingly.

“I didn’t forgave him!”

“Then why the very next day you were all seating together at the lake?” At Lily’s shocked face, he continued. “Yes, I saw you!”

“I didn’t forgave him! I only went there because Alice and Mary insisted I sit with them for a little bit. And then James and his friends came over. But that doesn’t matter! Because you were supposed to be my best friend and yet, you said that to me! Do you know how much it hurt?” Lily said, hurt clear in her voice.

“And you were supposed to be my best friend, yet you didn’t help me that day!” Severus retorted.

“Didn’t help you? Didn’t help you? I came to your help, you…..you….you ungrateful…” She trailed off, unable to find the appropriate word to describe him.

“Yes, you didn’t help me! You just came and started flirting with Potter.” Severus said angrily.

“Flirting with potter? Are you deaf? Didn’t you hear what I said to him?” Lily was fuming. After all she had done. All the time she defended Severus to her friends. All the time she helped him. He was accusing her of being a bad friend, of not helping him! The nerve of him!

“Yes, flirting with him! Why did you just stood there and asked him to free me, when you could have disarmed them, freed me, and reported them! Aren’t you a witch and a perfect?” Severus said spitefully.

Lily faltered for a moment, before gathering herself and answering. “That does not justify what you did! You called me a mudblood !” At this point, they both were shouting.

“Because you smiled!” At that admission, Severus’ eyes widened, as if that part was not meant to slip out. Then he sighed like all fight has left him. He averted his eyes and continued, his quivering voice gave away how hard he was trying to not cry. “When I was being humiliated by those goons, you smiled! You thought my humiliation was funny!” Lily’s eye widened and her eyes started to tear up. It seemed that a dam had broken and Severus kept talking. “You called me ‘Snivilious’ and said ‘I should wash my pants’, as if it is my fault they are like that – you knew it was not my fault they were like that!” The last part was whispered so quietly that Lily was not sure she heard right. “But that’s not all. You have been avoiding me the whole last year, don’t think I have not noticed! You would tell me you will not go to Hogsmead since you were behind in some course and then, the next day you were there spending the whole day with your friends. When we were supposed to meet, suddenly, you remembered you had to meet your friends and help them with homework, or you were supposed to meet with the Hufflepuff you were tutoring, or something came up and its girls related, so you can’t tell me. And all of those needed to happen at the exact time we usually met. You ditched me again and again for meeting your housemates!” At this point Severus was shaking from the efforts of controlling his emotions. Lily’s tears started to fall. She had never seen Severus like this. Last year, each time Lily told Severus, she needed to go, Severus calmly accepted. He never complained. Lily thought that Severus preferred to spend time with his housemates rather than her and just didn’t tell her outright to not hurt her feelings. So, instead she did it, because she didn’t want to cling to someone who didn’t want to be friends with her. And it was not easy either, it hurt! But all those times, she never thought she was hurting Severus. Hurting both Severus and herself. Severus voice brought her out of her thoughts.

“Leave” Severus said quietly.

Lily took one step toward bed and said “Sev–”, but Severus cut her off and said louder.

“I said leave! You are just like everyone else!” His voice was shaking.

“Severus–” Lily tried again.

“Get out! Get out!” Severus shouted and Lily who did not want to upset him more, ran to the door and exited the room.

Severus closed his eyes and let his tears fall. In less than a minute, he was sobbing openly.

Chapter Text

Severus cried for a few minutes, but then he felt spent and his tears dried up. He had cried more in the last week then he has done his whole life. Afterwards, he felt tired and more importantly, he felt stupid because of his reaction to Lily’s presence and because of his words. He had a chance of a lifetime: Lily was right there! She cared enough to come, Dumbledore or no, wanting to be friends with him again. And what did he do? He blew it. Him and his big stupid mouth. He threw her kindness and forgiveness in her face, like the ungrateful worthless freak he was. This was his chance. The chance for everything to go back to the way it was and he threw it away with his own hands.

Although, if he was honest with himself – which he rarely was when Lily was concerned – a part of him was dreading exactly that: For everything to go back to how it was before. Severus was many thing, but a fool was not one of them. Since he met Lily, he knew that he didn’t deserve her or her friendship; knew that she was way out of his league. And it was not like people let him ever forget it: Tuney’s words and attitude, Lily’s parents’ worried glances, the look that people in Lily’s neighborhood gave them when they passed the local park – the look that said ‘what sort of negligent parent would let their girl to be around a trash like him’, the look that the professors and students alike gave them the whole time they were friends.

Before Hogwarts, it was okay. Because he was the only magical child around and because Lily never showed an interest to befriend other kids, and not for lack of opportunity to do so. Severus Knew that she didn’t because none of them were magical and would not understand her. So he felt secure in the knowledge that Lily wouldn’t leave him or end their friendship.

However, everything changed after they came to Hogwarts. When Lily was sorted into Gryffindor, Severus thought about trying to get into Gryffindor to be with her, but the fact that he had to share his dorm with the two gits who started to pick on him on the train stopped him. Also, his mother told him that Princes were all sorted into Slytherin and he didn’t want to disappoint her. In the end, even the hat told him that what he can accomplish as a Slytherin would be incomparable to what he can do elsewhere.

But since that day, he had this fear that now that Lily had other magical children to befriend, she would stop being friends with him. His fears found ground when after the start of the second year, he noticed how Lily’s attitude started to change. So he started to change his attitude accordingly. Giving her more space when she wanted and more leeway, lest she cut him off completely. He loved her too much and valued their friendship too much to do anything else, but it didn’t hurt any less when he noticed that Lily had developed a preference to spend time with her Gryffindor friends rather than him.

Then his housemates noticed what was going on and started to push him to end his friendship with Lily and everything just got worse. Their relationship deteriorated so much that it looked nothing like how it was before. However, they kep holding on: Him, because he loved Lily so much and her…. maybe just because she was too stubborn to let go. Severus didn’t know…. not anymore. And in the end, the strained rope which connected them finally broke. He didn’t blame Lily, not really. After all, who would want to be friends with the likes of him. But knowing that it was not her fault didn’t make it hurt any less.

So, yes, he dreaded it, but if the alternative was to not have Lily in his life, then he preferred for things to go back to the way it was. But now….now he has lost any chance of having her friendship ever again. And this time, he didn’t have the excuse of Marauders’ harassment and Lily’s smiling at his humiliation. This time it was all on him. He overreacted and now everything was over. Maybe it would have been better if Dumbledore and McGonagall had not saved him. Because if he was going to ruin every opportunity like this, then he might as well died and saved everyone from the trouble.

~~oOo~~

After Minerva took Lily to Severus’ room, she returned to Albus’ office to talk to him about an administrative matter. Albus and Minerva were discussing the matter and having tea, when the door connecting the office to headmaster’s chambers burst open and Lily entered. There were tear tracks on her face and she hurriedly exited the room without acknowledging the adults or saying anything.

Albus and Minerva exchanged a surprised and worried look. They expected Lily and Severus’ talk to be longer and Albus was ready to intervene if it lasted to more than one hour. After all, Severus still needed his rest. So it was surprising that they talk was so short, but the tear tracks on Lily’s face indicated that their talk did not go well and that was not good. Albus stood up to check on Severus, but at that moment the fire in fireplace turned green and Rosaline’s head showed up in it.

“Headmaster. Minerva. May I come through?”

“Yes, of course.” Albus said. After Rosaline stepped through, he asked. “What is wrong?”

“Nothing. Today is the day of my first in-person check-up on Severus. We agreed that I could meet Severus weekly.”

“Of course. I just momentarily forgot about it.”

“So, may I see Severus?”

Albus and Minerva exchanged a look and then Albus started to explain what happened.

~~oOo~~

Severus didn’t know how long he has been lost in his thoughts, before a knock on his door brought him out. What he didn’t expect was Ms. Bones entering his rooms.

“Hello, Severus.”

“Hello” A confused frown formed on Severus’ face. “Has something happened?”

“No, I am just checking up on you. May I sit down?” At Severus node, she sat down in the chair that was occupied by Lily a short time ago.

“How are you doing?” Rosaline asked, but got only a shrug in response.

“I have heard that a friend was visiting, but from your expression things didn’t go well. Do you want to talk about it?”

“No” Severus said moodily, as he crossed his arms. Rosaline sighed and said “Well, if you are not in a talking mood, then I will not take more of your time, I just need ask some questions: Is Mr. Dumbledore treating you well? You were concerned before about him abusing his power over you. Has he done anything concerning in that regard?”

“Why everyone keep asking me that?” Severus said frustrated.

“Who else asked you that?”

“McGonagall. Last week. Asked if Dumbledore was treating me well.” Rosaline hummed as a small satisfied smile showed up on her face.

“What? What are you not telling me?”

Rosaline thought over her response before deciding to be truthful. “When you told me to ask headmaster about what happened at the end of last year, I did. Minerva and Poppy were also present. We all were horrified to hear about what has transpired and how headmaster handled it. Considering the situation, especially that we didn’t have much time to look for another acceptable option for you, we decided to proceed with Mr. Dumbledore’s guardianship, but I told Mr. Dumbledore that his every action will be monitored. Minerva and Poppy also promised to keep an eye on the situation. It is good to know that they are taking this seriously. So that is why both Minerva and I asked about how headmaster has been treating you.”

Seeing the expression on Severus’ face, she was sure that she made the right choice in telling him the truth. “So has anything concerning happened. Is headmaster treating you well?”

“Yes, he has been treating me well. Actually more than well, which I find strange.” Then Severus proceeded with telling her about Dumbledore’s overly friendly behavior, as well as his words regarding supporting Severus and even teaching him Alchemy. Afterwards, there was a few moments of silence as Rosaline mulled over what she heard. Then she sighed and said.

“Usually, I would say that this is great news…. That it shows that the guardian is taking his responsibilities seriously and I would try to encourage the child to start trusting their guardian. However, that is obviously not the case here…..and considering what kind of person Mr. Dumbledore is, it would not be easy to determine his ulterior motive. But I think his motives at the moment are not important. As long as his motives makes him help and support you to the best of his abilities, then it is okay. We should make the best of the situation. In the mean time, we all are going to keep an eye out for any unusual behavior. If we notice anything amiss or find something that would help us determine his motive, then we will act. I am going to visit you in-person weekly. If you see anything unusual again, you can tell me in our weekly meetings. Poppy and Minerva are going to visit you more frequently. If anything urgent came up, let them know. I know that the situation is not good, but you are not alone. We will support you.”

“But if something happens, what can you, McGonagall, or Pomfrey do against Dumbledore? Especially that he is my guardian.”

“One part of my job is to go toe to toe with abusive guardians or families and a portion of those happen to be a part of powerful and influential families. So I assure you, I know exactly how to play this game. Also, I think you are underestimating Minerva and Poppy. Maybe each one of us, separately, not be able to win a case against headmaster, but together? We can handle headmaster well enough.” There was a dangerous glint in her eyes that reassured Severus.

There was a few moments of silence before Rosaline said. “That part about your education, that is actually great! Mr. Dumbledore is a very influential person and has a great network of people around him. And you, as his ward, are in the unique position to make use of that. Think carefully about what you want to study and even create a list of people who are pioneers in those areas. Even if Dumbledore does not know them personally, I’m sure he can use his vast number of connections to get you to at least meet and talk to them. If you have to put up with Mr. Dumbledore, there is no reason to not take advantage of the privileges available to you.”

Talking with madam Bones was like a breeze of fresh air and it was exactly what Severus needed: For someone to acknowledge how unfairly Dumbledore treated him before; To acknowledge that he is not delusional to think Dumbledore’s behavior is suspicious; And more importantly, for Severus to know that there was someone on his side, who would go against Dumbledore for him. Severus did not believe that in such a case, they could win against Dumbledore, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that someone would do such a thing for him. And lastly, it seemed that Madam Bones, unlike Lily, did not think badly about taking advantages of people or situations.

Severus did not give a verbal response to what Rosaline said, but the expression on his face was telling enough. After that, they chatted a little bit about his recovery time and his favorite subjects in school, before Rosaline got up and left with a promise to see him next week.

~~oOo~~

If there was any doubt in James’ mind that Evans was crying for Snape that day, it was gone. When McGonagall took Evans away, everyone at the table started speculating about what it was about. However, the Marauders were silent, as they had a good idea what it was about. While they were not sure what happened after Evans talked to McGonagall that day to make her act okay, James was sure that this was about Snape’s funeral. One look at his friends and he could see that they were thinking the same thing. It made sense that she would request to go to his funeral and the apprehensive look on her face, when she was going, only cemented this idea.

So James and his friends decided to spend their free period – read: waiting for her – in the Gryfindors’ tower, because they knew she would show up there after coming back from the funeral. They were soon joined by Evans’ girlfriends and under pretext of studying together, they all waited for Evans to return.

~~oOo~~

Evan Roiser was amused. It was interesting how the heads of some of the most prominent families in Wizarding World were scrambling after a half-blood teenager to the point of resorting to asking for help from their children, in order to get any news. He knew that they were asking on Dark Lord’s order. He also knew that he should probably do something instead of sitting back and enjoying his housemates clumsy attempts to get information. Especially considering that the hospital wing was found to be empty. But none the less, here he was sitting back and enjoying the show put up by his housemates. Because first of all, his father was not in Dark Lord’s inner circle – since apparently their family was not prominent enough – and thus had not contacted him. Second, he was no one’s errant boy to do such low level work.

Aside from his housemates stupidities, the other interesting point about the whole ordeal was the target: One half-blood named Snape. Evan always liked Snape. Well, as much as he can like a half-blood. He could still remember when Snape first came to Hogwarts as a eleven years old. He was scrawny and his robes were second hand, but his eyes had fire, his tongue was as sharp as a knife, and he cursed in a way that only a mudblood can. Half-bloods and mud-bloods who are sorted into Slytherin soon learn to keep to themselves, to blend into shadows whether in class or outside of it, and to not be seen among their betters. So Evan thought Snape was going to be like that. ‘Give it a week or two’ he thought to himself and with that he put Snape out of his mind. Well, he would have, if he had not noticed the interest the Malfoy heir has developed in Snape, during the first month. But he did notice and so he kept an eye on Snape and Snape had not disappointed him.

Whatever flaw Snape had and whatever he lacked, he made it up with his intelligence and tenacity. And also he learned fast. He didn’t have the option of blending into background – like others – thanks to his daily fight with those idiotic Gryfindors and loosing points. The Slytherins were not exactly happy to loose points because of a half-blood first year with a foul mouth, and they made him understand how unhappy they were. Evan was sure that Snape was going to take it laying low, but Snape didn’t. In less than three months, he had learned the rules of Slytherin house. By the end of the first year, he had managed to create a place for himself in the house. He learned to curb his tongue, but more importantly he learned how to play. He was cunning, ruthless, and he had guts. Between his promise of helping with a course, doing homework, his blackmailing, and his veiled threats given as knowledge of spell work or potions, he managed to make others leave him mostly in peace and even get them to leave his mudblood friend alone. By third year, he was the go to person when one wanted to buy an illegal potion in school, or even if they just wanted to get a potion discretely.

Some of Slytherins attributed his talent and intelligence to being a Prince, but Evan sometimes thought it was actually because he was a half-blood. After all, the families with more inbreedings had dumber children. Personally, Evan thought that fresh blood was needed, that they could sometimes make the Wizarding lineage stronger. For example, that Evans girl, Snape’s mudblood, was smarter than some of his housemates put together.

In any case, Snape managed to not only create a place – however low – for himself in Slytherin, but he also got Malfoy’s support and got a place among Dark Lord supporters. He played so well that Dark Lord now wants to get his hands on him and has mobilized his followers like this, to make it possible. And yet, what had Snape done? He had given his guardianship to Dumbledore. If it was anyone else, Evan would have put it on them being a fool, but not Snape. No, obviously something else was going on and he was determined to find out what. But that was for later, for now, he was going to sit back and enjoy the show his idiotic housemates were putting up.

~~oOo~~

After lunch, Serena made her way toward the library where she was going to spend her break studying with her friends. When she entered the library, she made her way toward their regular table, between the Arithmancy and History sections. Arriving at the table she noticed with annoyance that, that Hufflepuff boy, Neil something something, is present, as well. He was a friend of Fred, what with both of them being Hufflepuffs and all. He was a nice boy; polite, hardworking, and rather good looking in Serena’s opinion, and she did not dislike him. No, the problem was that he was chattery…. too much. More specifically, she was annoyed because he talked too much during their study times. When they were supposed to be studying. When they obviously could not study, because he was talking all the time.

With a sigh, she sat down to be forcefully updated on the latest gossip, no doubt. After she greeted everyone, Francis turned to her and with her thick Italian accent said. “Have you heard? An important student is going to transfer to Hogwarts!”

“Francis, I told you. It is not a transfer student! It is that the headmaster has accepted the guardianship of one of the students!” Neil said exasperated.

“But I have heard that he or she is almost of age, if that was a student in Hogwarts, then we would have known! Because they would have been from Gryffindor and I know most of the upper year Gryfindors.” Lena, another member of their group study who like Serena and Francis was a Ravanclaw, said.

“But he couldn’t have been a transfer! I told you, my mother works in the department of Children's Support Services of Ministry” Neil said. “They only get involved if the child is here. And every child here goes to Hogwarts.” He said with the same child like conviction with which he always told them Chudley Cannons is the best Quidditch team, ever. “So that person must be in Hogwarts.” He concluded.

“My uncle works in Ministry and I have heard that Dumbledore became this student’s guardian, because they found out their guardian was not suitable!” They all exchanged a meaningful glance , before looking at Tony, the youngest member of their group who was living with his mother’s cousin because he was abused by his uncle – his father’s brother who was at the time his guardian.

“But that can’t be true, if he or she is almost of age, because then the professors would have helped much earlier!” Tony said hotly and then continued in a whisper. “Professor Flitwick found out and helped me in my first year.”

“But it must be true, because my cousin’s friend works there and he said that when Dumbledore came to the Ministry, he was in a hurry and he insisted that the case must be processed as fast as possible, because the life of his charge was in Danger!” Carl said.

They were all surprised, because none of them could imagine Dumbledore being in a hurry and saying something so….desperate. Susan said, “But I have heard that he accepted the guardianship because this student was the child of important people and they had died.”

“Even if that was the case, why would Dumbledore of all people take the guardianship?” Francis asked.

“Maybe his parents were friends with Dumbledore?” Fred said.

“I actually think it would make sense that the parent or guardians were important people, but of the wrong sort! Dumbledore has taken the guardianship because others would not have been powerful enough to go toe-to-toe with them. It also makes sense that they are keeping everything hush hush.” Serena said in a reasoning, but conspiratorial tone. At the look she received, she continued. “Don’t tell me you had not noticed! The fact that there are so many rumors means that everyone is curious to know about headmaster’s charge, yet no one has seen the files or can say anything for certain about it! It is clear that there is something that they want to hide!”

Understanding lit up everyone’s eyes and the exchanged glances knowing that what Serena said made sense. They spent some more time speculating about the identity of Dumbledore’s charge and which house they were in. When they noticed the time, they moved on to what they were supposed to be doing: Study.

~~oOo~~

After exiting the headmaster’s office, Lily made her way toward Gryffindor tower. Reaching the entrance, she realized that she didn’t want to go in. She didn’t want to face her friends. She didn’t want to face anyone. She wanted to be alone. She turned back and went down the sixth floor corridor hoping to find some place to think.

Her mind was in a swirl. She could not think straight. Somethings that she thought to be true, all turned out to be false. She came to a stop in the middle of the corridor. Maybe it would be better that she talked to her friends. They could help her untangle her thoughts and feelings. She turned back toward the Fat Lady’s portrait. A few steps and she came to a stop, again.

Her friends never understood her friendship with Severus. They never liked him. How can they help her with this. No, she needed to do this on her own. With that thought she turned back again. But again within a few seconds she came to a stop again. The truth was that Lily needed to talk to someone. She was never the introvert type. She thrived on interactions, by sharing her thoughts, by expressing her emotions. When she was small, she always had her mother and Tuney for that and since Severus entered her life, he was always filled out the role. When she came to Hogwarts, her Gryffindor girlfriends started to play the role of the confident for her, because they were like minded and Lily thought they understood her. So she went to them for anything. Almost anything, because Lily soon came to the realization that she could not talk about Severus with them.

And now, for the first time, she felt alone. She needed someone to talk, but there was no one for her to talk to. Frustrated, she opened the closest door and entered, not knowing that the door disappeared behind her.

~~oOo~~

James was worried and looking at Mary and Alice, he knew they were worried, as well, as they were throwing glances at the door. Lily was gone since morning. She did not show up for lunch, and now she was missing from the Charms class, which was the worst, as it had never happened before. Flitwick asked about her, but no one had actually seen her since morning. James wanted to check the Marauders’ map to find her, he had left it in the dormitory. James thought about making an excuse to go and get the map now, but he didn’t want to spend the first Hogsmead visit of the semester in detention. So he had to wait until the class was over. Throughout the lesson, he was distracted. He had not listened to a word that came out of Flitwick’s mouth about the theory behind Refilling Charm and now he could not get even a drop of the water, from the bowl on the Flitwick’s desk, into the cup in front of him.

By the time the class was over, he was completely tired, frustrated, and anxious. He quickly gathered his things and made his way toward the Gryffindor tower. Sirius, Remus, and Peter also gathered their stuff and followed him, knowing exactly what he was thinking and where he was going without one word exchanged.

Entering their dorm, he threw his bag on the bed and quickly opened his trunk. Taking out the map, he opened it and said the password. His friends joined him on the bed and quickly scanned the map, but they could not find Lily anywhere. They scanned it twice more, but no, she was not in school. They sat back and exchanged a look. When McGonagall came to take Lily, she said something about it being regarding Lily’s request, what they talked about, or something like that. And now Lily has been out of school ground since morning. That meant their suspicion, about where she was going, was correct: Snape’s funeral.

At the thought, James felt a twinge of guilt, again. Since Snape’s death, James has been experiencing guilt and shame more. His mind kept replaying all the times that they had instigated a fight, pranked, or humiliated Snape. And no matter what reasons he used, a part of his mind – ‘your conscience’ a voice said in his head – had an answer ready. Some time it compared Snape’s situation with Sirius and his sometimes questionable morals. Sometimes it compared him to Remus who did not standing up to them – his friends – even though they all knew he didn’t approve of some of their pranks. Sometimes it brought up Lily’s words from that one time that she defended Snape to her friends in the Gryffindor tower. And sometimes it was Dumbledore’s word that night about Snape not getting along with his housemates – and it was those times that where worst, because not only he felt guilty about how he treated Snape, but also, it made him wonder that if Dumbledore knew about Snape situation with other snakes, then why he didn’t do anything about it.

A look at Sirius, and he was sure that Sirius was feeling similarly about the situation. Sirius won’t admit it, but James knew his friend well enough to know what was going on in his head. And James didn’t even need to look at Remus to know that he was feeling guilty, even if he was the least involved and guilty of them in dealing with Snape. Peter didn’t look exactly guilty, but then he was always more of a follower and the most easygoing member of their group.

James couldn’t help it sometimes and thought about ‘what if’s. What if they had given Snape a chance, like he had given Sirius a chance. True, Sirius hated anything to do with Slytherin and his family. But still. Snape had grown up in a muggle neighborhood. He probably didn’t know how the Slytherins actually were like, especially considering that Dumbledore said he doesn’t get along with them. If they had given him a chance, how different things would have turned out. He would have liked to say that nothing would change, that Snape’s evilness would have ruined everything, like it did his friendship with Evans, but he knew that it was not true.

Evans. That was another problem. How many times he had wished that she would dump Snape! And James even did his best to separate them; encouraging her friends to talk to her to end her friendship with Snape, on one hand and pranking and humiliating Snape, on the other hand. And yet, now that his wish had come true, now that Snape was out of picture completely, he felt guilty for approaching Evans and asking her out to Hogsmead.

James has always been proud of being a Gryffindor. He was confident in his morals and never felt guilt, for he was sure that he was right. Now everything was different. After hearing Dumbledore and McGonagall’s words that night, James confidence in his morals was shaken and now he was not sure how to feel any more. For the first time, guilt and shame had crept in and James found out that it was not a good feeling.

~~oOo~~

The room Lily entered was decorated similar to a living room/library, with all the walls covered in shelves from ground to the high ceiling, all full of old tomes. There was a fireplace at the opposite wall, with a set of comfortable looking couches in front of it. There was also an empty portrait hanging above the fireplace. Moving closer, Lily noticed that there was a dish of snacks and a tray with a pitcher and a glass was on the table in the middle. Making her way toward the couch, she sat down and look at the fire burning in the hearth.

The truth was that Lily always considered herself a kind and considerate person and a great caring friend. People around her, especially her family and friends cemented this belief. She thought that she was fair and that she was always there for her friends. Today, that belief was shaken thoroughly. Because how can she be all those things when she was so wrong about her oldest friend; her best friend. Lily thought back to the time before Hogwarts, when she first met Severus. Severus was a quiet, reserved boy in shabby cloths. He was a little bit shy, with a beautiful smile, although he didn’t smile a lot. True, he was rude to Tuney, and he had a temper and a rather foul mouth, but it only happened when people – well just Tuney and some other kids in the neighborhood – insulted him and his cloths. And Lily understood why he did it. He was embarrassed and lashed out. She didn’t approve it, but she did understand. Lily always thought, those times were easy, because Lily had a friend. She cared about him and she understood him and she knew Severus cared about her and understood her. A strong friendship, based on understanding. A strong friendship where they told each other everything and were there for each other.

But it wasn’t true, was it? Because not even in her wildest imaginations could she have guessed what was happening each time that Severus left her to go home. She was his best and only friend for two years, they met each other almost every day. And she never even suspected about his home situation. ‘Home situation’. Wasn’t it funny? Severus had gone through it all his life and Lily, after knowing about it for more than two weeks, couldn’t even bring herself to say the words in her mind.

A part of her wanted to blame Severus, because he never said anything. Another part said that it was her fault. For not noticing anything was amiss. For not suspecting. How can she call herself a great friend, a caring and considerate person when she couldn’t tell that something was so wrong in her best friend’s home life? What did she expect? That Severus…..the nine years old, shy Severus would walk up to her and tell her that he was living in a hell hole? No! It was up to her to find out and she failed.

And after they started Hogwarts, things became worse. She did not understand Severus, or his actions, anymore. It was like Severus had became a mystery to her. But then again if she had missed something so big before, what else did she miss? When she thought Severus was changing, when she thought he was becoming like his housemates, when she thought Severus did not care about her and her friendship – which was something her friends told her repeatedly, as well – what was really happening? How much of what she thought was true? What was the lie? What was the truth?

As the years passed, Lily convinced herself more and more that Severus didn’t care. She believed that Severus was withdrawing from her. But was he? Was he the one who was withdrawing? Or was it her who was doing it? Then she remembered last year, when she promised herself that she won’t be left behind. When she convinced herself that if Severus did not want to hurt her by ending their friendship – if he was too much of a coward to look into her eyes and end it – then she would do it. She was a Gryffindor. She was from the house of the courageous. She didn’t lack in courage. She would do it, but despite that she could not do it. She kept second guessing her decision, because even though she wanted to leave, to not be the one who is left behind, doing so hurt. It hurt so much. And each time Severus calmly responded to her leaving, it made it hurt more and it made her angry. Angry with Severus, but more importantly angry with herself. Because why was she hurting so much from the crumbling of their friendship, when he was completely fine? It took one year and Severus calling her a mudblood for her to finally end it.

And now….now she has found out that all she had done was wrong. That she misread everything. That she was so focused on how she was feeling that she never noticed that she was hurting Severus, as well as herself. Now she realized how selfishly she was acting when it came to Severus. When he called her a mudblood, Severus had been grieving his mother, on top of being bullied, the exams, probably his housemates, and the prospect of the summer. And yet she had only thought of herself and how hurt she was. True, she didn’t know about his mother. Well, it seems there was a lot of things she didn’t know about Severus. About her oldest friend. Her best friend. Was it Severus’ fault for not sharing? Or was it hers for not asking, for not noticing? She didn’t know anymore.

There was another confusing point, as well. That Severus didn’t say anything. Keeping silent about his home life, Lily could understand. But the rest? No, it didn’t make sense. Why did he never complain about Lily leaving? Why he didn’t tell her that he knew she was avoiding him last year? No matter how hard she tried, she could not understand. Why would he keep silent about so many things. She couldn’t even guess at what was the reason behind Severus’ behavior. Although, even if she had a guess, now she could admit to herself that she didn’t know Severus well enough to say whether her guess was correct or not.

“Hm-hm” The sound brought Lily out of her thoughts. She looked around looking for the source, but the room was completely empty except for her –

“Up here, dear, above the fireplace.”

– and apparently the lady in the portrait. Lily looked at the lady curiously. She was a plump woman with reddish brown hair and blue eyes. Her wide smile and gentle and kind look put Lily immediately at ease.

“What were you thinking about that had put such frown on your pretty face, dear?” The lady asked.

But Lily who was not still over the appearance of her companion, asked “Who are you?”

“I was a teacher in Hogwarts.”

“A teacher? What did you teach?”

“Yes, a teacher, but it was a long time ago. I taught Charms,…among other things. But enough about me, lets talk about you. You looked like to be in need of a listening ear, dear.”

Lily contemplated about whether to say anything or not. On one hand, she was indeed in need of a listening ear. On the other hand, the lady in the portrait was a stranger. Should she trust her? But she already knew the answer to that question. She said she was a teacher and just looking in her eyes, Lily knew that she was trustworthy. Her companion was patiently waiting for her to make up her mind, all the while her wide smile encouraging Lily to confide in her. Making up her mind, Lily opened her mouth and told her story.

~~oOo~~

Some unknown time later, after an enlightening conversation with the lady in the portrait, Lily gathered her stuff to go back to the common room. When she was closing the door behind her, the lady called her back and said.

“If you ever need to talk to me again, stand opposite the portrait of Barnabas and think about this room and talking to me. The door will come to you.”

‘ door will come to me?’ Lily thought as she let the door close behind her. Then her eyes widened as she saw the door disappeared. She stood there for a few minutes, too shocked to move or do anything, then she gathered herself and made her way toward Gryffindor common room.

~ ~oOo~~

After Charms, they had Herbology class and once more Evans was missing from the class. James was ready to go McGonagall to ask about her. Mary, Alice, and him wanted to go the moment they entered the class and noticed that Lily was missing, but before they could go, Professor Sprout entered the greenhouse and told them to sit in their place. After exchanging a look, they decided to wait until the end of the class, after all she could come late for the class. She didn’t. And they regretted not saying anything before, but on the way back to the castle, they heard from Anjali that she came back to the dorm some time ago.

The next time James saw Evans was during dinner. This time, she was not crying or anything, but there was a grime calm about her which looked out of place. It was expected; that her reaction to be mellower than when she found out Snape was dead. This time she seemed to be a little lost in her thoughts, though she spend some part of dinner time reassuring her friends that she was okay. But she did not say anything about where she had been since morning. Not that Marauders needed to be told. They already knew. Her sad expression screamed that she was coming from a funeral. How did others not notice?

He wanted to go to her and comfort her, but knew that his presence would not be comforting right now. Both because of his history with Snape and because he, himself, was still not sure about how to handle the news of Snape’s death. He didn’t know how he should feel about the news and this uncertainty weighted heavily on his mind. So it was with a feeling of longing and grime acceptance that he watched Evans’ girlfriends try to talk to her and comfort her.

Chapter Text

October soon turned into November. It went both fast and slow, from Severus’ point of view. Everyday, Severus was getting stronger and stronger. Madam Pomfrey told him he was almost completely healed. Well, as much as possible, since apparently there was some permanent damage to some part of his body, like his immune system. Also, his growth was affected by his home life. But all things considered, it was better than Severus expected, especially because his magic has not been damaged. Something that Severus was really thankful for.

Another one, was the fact that he did not need help for taking care of his personal needs. It was a blessing that he never thought about, until he lost it. So when he started his therapy with Madam Pomfrey, he told her that it was the most important thing to take care of first. With her help, he managed to get stronger, so that he could walk the few steps to the bathroom. And as a result got his independence rather quickly – in Madam Pomfrey’s opinion. By gaining his independence, he didn’t need to rely on Dumbledore anymore which meant that he refused headmaster’s help (or his presence) and thus the headmaster had less and less reasons to visit Severus. A fact that Severus greatly appreciated – and to his great shame, also lamented. Because Dumbledore was someone that Severus didn’t like and more importantly didn’t trust, but also he was the only kind touch that Severus got after spending four months with Tobias, yearning for human contact – for Tobias cannot be considered human. Even before that, the last time Severus ever got a parental caring touch was from his mother more than a year ago. So when Dumbledore hugged him, caressed his head, or patted his hand or shoulder, a part of Severus hated it, both because of his condition and because it was Dumbledore who was the one doing it. But at the same time, a small – treacherous – part of Severus like it and yearned for more, which made Severus hate the situation and himself more. It was pathetic, and yet, he could not help it. So, it was both a relief and a disappointment when it came to an end. And the best way to distract himself from the unpleasant thoughts and feelings, Severus decided, was to throw himself into his studies – or so he thought.

Dumbledore got him his sixth year books and what a novel experience that had been. Because for the first time in his life, Severus’ books were brand new and the newest edition. For five years, he had to watch all his classmates reading their new books with all the pictures and extra explanations, while he had to struggle understanding some concepts with his outdated ones. It became clear to Severus the first year that burrowing books from his housemates was out of question. The only one who he could burrow was Lily. But the pitying looks and later her complaints about needing her books for study, put a stop to that.

He had spent years watching with envy how his classmates damaged their textbooks – and used them for everything except studying – without being aware how good they had it; without being aware that there was someone who wished he had their textbooks – textbooks they threw around carelessly – for just a few hours. So the first few hours of getting his hands on his new textbooks was a joyful experience. However, that joy soon evaporated, as Severus remembered the price of getting these new textbooks. All these….the room, the cloths, the books, Dumbledore’s guardianship, it all happened because his mother was dead. And here he was, the ungrateful unworthy son that he is, being happy about it.

It had only been a few months since her death and Severus was enjoying his privileges, while it should have been her. She had to get the chance to enjoy her life; she who had suffered so much and partly because of Severus. It was true….Severus promised her to live for both of them, but he could not help feel he didn’t deserve it. The feelings warred in him and not for the first time Severus felt how alone he was. For there was none that he could share his feelings with. It made him miss his mother even more. She was the only one who he could talk with freely. He needed to talk to her now. She would understand. But that was the problem….wasn’t it? She was not here and she would never be. And Severus was ready to give every privilege and comfort he had right now to just have her back. Even if it meant being back in the basement of Spinner’s End and having to deal with Tobias again. It all would be worth it. He would pay any price to have her back; would do anything so that the hole in his chest would go away.

The more he thought about it, the less motivated he was to do anything. For the next three days, he barely left the bed and talked with anyone – Pomfrey, Dumbledore, and McGonagall. What brought him out of his black mood was the fact that Dumbledore was visiting him frequently again, and was spending more time in his room. Severus might not have known why he should continue living or moving forward, but he did know that he did not want Dumbledore barging into his privacy. So he scraped his will and started to pretend he was fine, just to get the adults to leave him alone. And to occupy his mind, he actually threw himself into his studies. The less he had to think about his situation – any aspect of it – the better.

He – at his own insistence – started with the summer assignments. During the summer, he had only done his potion assignment – the only subject for which he didn’t need his confiscated textbook – and Dumbledore and McGonagall brought it with them, together with the other hidden stuffs under the floor board. After handing in his summer assignments, he started with the sixth year material. Dumbledore had talked with professors and all of them agreed – to some degree – to help Severus catch up. The arrangement was for Severus to read the necessary part of the textbook before meeting with the professors. These meetings varied from full-fledged lectures (Transfiguration, Charms, and Arithmancy), Tutoring sessions (Herbology, Ancient Runes), Q/A sessions (Defense Against Dark Arts), to non-existent (Potions – as Slughorn claimed that Severus’ knowledge and skill was advanced enough for him to not need Slughorn). The material covered where only the theoretical parts and the practicals were left out until Pomfrey declared Severus completely healed.

And after around two – three weeks of this, Severus was at a point that he could say confidently he was…..managing. There were bad days when the only reason he got out of bed was so that Tipsy wouldn’t fetch Dumbledore. Those days, he usually spends most of the day in a daze. The first time it happened, the professor he was meeting – Limirate, the DADA professor, he was later told – left in anger after attempting and not succeeding to get him to focus. After that the other professors seemed to catch on really quickly and on those days left him alone. Dumbledore tried at first to get him to talk about those episodes, but soon he gave up and left him to his own devices. Then there were the good days when Severus was motivated. On those days, he sometimes felt like his mother was with him; like he could feel her presence, watching him and encouraging him to go on.

So yes, he was managing. He admitted – in a small corner of his mind – that it was hard and he was really struggling. With only himself for company most of the time, he felt…..isolated. And being indoors for about a month, he felt trapped. The most he could move now was between his bedroom and the living room. However, there was no other option. Just moving once or twice between the bedroom and living room was enough to make him feel exhausted. Anywhere farther and he would need help or to take rest, and he was both unwilling to ask Dumbledore for help and resented that he had to take a rest after passing long hallway or going up/down every flight of stairs. So he was trapped in the tower, only able to look at the view outside, and sometimes he felt he was going stir-crazy.

And after pushing away Lily, the only person who would have cared enough to visit him, who could he talk to? Dumbledore? No, there was no one that he could talk with about his feeling. So, he took to reading his mother’s diary, which miraculously escaped the fire in his trunk, mostly unburnt. The diary was among some of his other books and assignments, all of which were completely Marauders-proofed. He read the diary and carried it with himself the way he had seen the muggle religious people did with their holy book. It gave him strength and comfort, and it made him feel closer to her. He thought if he carried a piece of her – her memories – with himself, then it was like she was with him.

Another – surprising – source of comfort for Severus showed up in form of one Minerva McGonagall. At first, when Dumbledore said she had volunteered, Severus thought it was out of pity. She felt sorry for him. But whether that was actually true or not, Severus could not discern from her behavior. Not only she went over each subject, giving a complete lecture, but also she let Severus burrow her newest edition of Transfiguration textbook for year one to five. She even helped Severus with topics from those years that she knew Severus struggled with. Moreover, after each meeting, they would have tea together in the living room. The first time she invited him to tea, they spent the whole time in silence, which was a little strange, but not uncomfortable. The second and third time followed the same pattern, but little by little they started to talk. One little comment about tea here, a comment about the biscuits there, and before Severus knew it, they reached a point where Severus and McGonagall spoke about a variety of topics from Dumbledore ridiculous choice of wardrobe, to McGonagall’s teaching career and the hilarious nonsense students wrote on their exam papers, to an in-depth discussion about permanent transfiguration, to them having a – brief – discussion about hair styles – in which McGonagall told him his hair had grown longer than his usual style, so he should get a hair cut and also change his hair product. She even went so far as telling him, she could teach him some spells used for cutting hair and styling it. Severus stayed mostly silent during the last conversation, as he was too flabbergasted with the topic to contribute much.

What was great was that she didn’t look at him with pity. She didn’t treat him like glass. She was her usual brisk self and while she expected Severus to treat her respectfully, she didn’t expect him to be a ray of sunshine. She let him be himself; let him set the pace. If one day he was having a bad day, she didn’t push him – the way Dumbledore sometimes still did. Those days they had their tea in comfortable silence and then she would depart.

So…..yeah, here he was, one week into November, sitting behind his desk in his room, looking at the snowy ground outside, fingering his mother’s diary abstract-mindedly and thinking about everything that happened in the last month, and also thinking about what future will bring. A lot of things happened, in the last month. He reached the rock bottom, loosing everything including his health and his privacy. But since then, he was getting them back one by one. True he got another chance with Lily and irrecoverably lost it, but there was nothing to be done about that. However, what concerned him more than the thoughts of the past, was the thought of what future brings.

He looked down again at the open envelope on his desk and sighed. The letter had arrived that morning. Dumbledore called it excellent news, but Severus didn’t know what to think. The letter was the news of the hearing; the hearing regarding two cases pertaining him. As expected – from a case in which Dumbledore was involved or invested – both cases went as they wanted. So, that was not what concerned Severus. As a matter of fact, it made Severus feel some satisfaction. After all, they were going to force Tobias to return the money he got from his inheritance. If he could not pay it back – of which Severus was certain – then he would go to jail. Also, the ministry employee who arranged the money withdrawal and cancellation form was under investigation and would probably get fired.

No, what Severus was dreading was the second part of the letter which informed him that he was going to be confined to Hogwarts ground for the next six months and have his magic monitored for the next eight months. Both Dumbledore and Madam Bones insisted that it was a much lighter verdict than usual and it meant a great success, but to have his every movement and spell casting monitored was unthinkable to Severus. They were going to send a ministry employee in two days time to cast the necessary spells.

~~oOo~~

It has been around three week since Lily last saw Severus; since her world, in a sense, had turned upside down. She thought a lot during these weeks. She wanted to visit Severus again to talk to him. First, because he deserved an explanation about Lily’s behavior. Second, because she had questions which needed answers. However, she wanted to go with a clear head and for that she needed to think, which is why she had not gone to visit Severus again. Lily didn’t think she had done this much introspection her whole life put together. However, she came to understand a lot during these three weeks. All due to her discussions with the lady in the portrait – and no matter how many times she told Lily, she cannot call her by her name. Because who would have thought that exactly at the time that Lily needed a listening ear, she would come across the room of requirement – a surprising revelation by itself – which decided to provide her with the portrait of one of the founders of Hogwarts, as a listening ear! The Helga Hufflepuff herself! How can this be her life? Well, actually considering that she was a witch and was studying in a magical school, maybe this development was not that strange.

In any case, since that first day, Lily spent a few hours each day there. It was cozy and comfortable in a way that the library never was and it was quiet and peaceful in a way that Gryffindor tower never was. So it had the best of two of her favorite places in the castle and what is more she always could find the reference books she needed in the bookshelf in the corner of the room. Snacks and refreshments were always there. It was a haven for both relaxing and studying. And most importantly, the lady in the portrait was great no matter if it was suggesting references and giving advice for assignments, explaining a topic, or advice about other stuff. The lady – or as she asked to be called ‘Helga’ – helped her understand a lot. She still remembers how the lady responded when Lily asked whether it was her fault for not noticing Severus home situation, or it was his.

“Neither. It is not your fault, because you were – are – just a child. It is not your place to notice such things. It is not Severus’ fault, either.”

While it rankled to be called a child, the fact that she called Severus a child as well made it more tolerable. And in any case, it made her feel better to know that there was someone who believed it was not her fault. What the lady said next, was the start of a long discussion which gave Lily perspective on some matters.

“It is the adults’ fault; his father, for hurting him; his mother, for not stopping it; the neighbours, for not noticing or saying anything; and most importantly the teachers, for not noticing or helping. It is also their fault for what happened and is happening here. Hogwarts was supposed to be about unity and equality; a safe haven for student to learn. And now look at it. It looks more like a war zone! And children are getting hurt!” The lady sighed and her smile dimmed a little.

“Well, Salazar Slytherin hated muggleborns, is it such a surprise that his house are following the same path? And what are the professors and the rest of the school are supposed to do? Just let them do whatever they want to do?” Lily argued heatedly.

The lady shook her head and with a indulgent smile said. “Salazar didn’t hate muggleborns. If he did, he wouldn’t have founded the school with us. He had other concerns. What is written in the history books is mostly something that was between Salazar and Godric. Just like what happened between you and Severus; a lot of misunderstanding, a lot of miscommunication, and hot tempers.” For a moment she had a far away look on her face, like she was seeing the event she was talking about, but then she shook it away and said. “But that’s a story for another time. The fact is that Salazar didn’t hate muggleborns, and children are not sorted into his house because they hate muggleborns, or because they are evil. They are not even sorted because the traits they have. That is not what sorting hat does! Because people are ever changing, they can develop and loose trait during their lives. No, what the hat does, what we created it to do, was to sort based on the world view and way of thinking. Not because the world view does not change, but because we wanted children, who are going to live away from their homes and families, find friends easier. And also, because it could help them get acknowledged for the traits they have or help them develop the traits they find most important.

This means that someone sorted in Gryffindor need not necessarily be brave, but he values it above other traits, and being surrounded by brave people or people who value bravery can help that child try to be brave and eventually succeed. That is also why it is common for family members to be sorted into the same house generation after generation. Not because they share the same trait, but because they grow up with the same family values. And it doesn’t mean that people from other houses do not have those traits. For example, it does not mean that a Slytherin cannot be brave. It just means he doesn’t value it as much as other traits. Or that he doesn’t believe the direct confrontation to be the best way of dealing with problems.

Those who are sorted into Slytherin value traits like cunning. It does not necessarily mean that they like to deceive people or even are good at it. It can be because a lot of those children believe – are made to believe – that they need to take care of everything by themselves, for there would be no one to help. So, they learn to rely only on themselves and try to solve their problem on their own; sometimes at any cost. It does not mean that none of them grow up to be bad people, but do you really think that in every generation of eleven years old children entering Hogwarts, a quarter of them enjoy hurting people and are planning to become murderers?”

It was something that Lily never thought about and it explained a lot about Severus’ words about not saying anything to professors or his behavior regarding his housemates.

“What about dark arts? The Slytherin practice dark spells on other students!”

The lady smiled gently and said. “What you call dark arts is a part of a much bigger category of magic called the mage arts and it was called such because it is much more powerful than any other type of magic. It is said that Merlin was the one who created it. It also was Salazar and Rowena’s specialty. We banned mage arts in Hogwarts not because it was evil, but because mastering it needs great will, commitment, and even bigger focus. Something that teenagers usually don’t posses. Since the mage arts is very powerful, it is also very dangerous. Botching a simple spell or potion taught here does not have much repercussion, but botching the mage spells can lead to great harm both for the caster and for others, even bystanders.”

“But what about the defense against the dark art course?” Lily asked confused.

“When we started. We only had one defense course and it covered a variety of topics. And it was not even limited to magic, since you cannot stop a sword, knife, or spear with a shield charm. Then because students’ request and the amount of material, we decided to break it into several courses with each course focusing on one aspect of defense. During the years, some of the courses were discontinued for a variety of reasons and now only one defense against mage arts course has remained.”

Lily exhaled and hided her face in her hands. There were several seconds of silence, before she raised her head. She had a distant look on her face. “Some of the worst fights between me and Severus was because he refused to stop studying dark arts – mage arts, whatever. I kept pushing him, telling him it was evil, but he said that was not true, that there were even dark healing spells.”

“While I do not agree with children studying mage arts, especially unsupervised, what Severus told you is correct! After all, how can a light healing spell fix the damage that a powerful mage spell has caused? No, a mage spell often can only be countered by a mage spell.”

“Then why everyone is saying dark arts is evil? If everyone knows this then things would be different!”

“Do you know why the name of mage arts has been changed to dark arts?” Lily shook her head in answer. “Fear…..Fear, my dear, can make people do unthinkable things; fear of what they don’t understand; fear of what they cannot control. And some people feel threatened by those who are capable of what they cannot do. Do you know how many books and records were destroyed through the years, because someone was afraid that the knowledge could somehow harm them and their position? Do you know how many people were maimed or killed, because someone was afraid of what they could do? Or because someone was afraid to loose their position and standing?”

“What you say make sense, but it still stands that now Slytherins should be stopped. They are dark! They hate muggleborns and hurt them!”

“And you think what they are doing is wrong?”

“Of course it is! How can you say something like that! Even if being a muggleborn is a bad thing – which it isn’t – then how any of us are at faults? It is not like we chose to be born that way! It is wrong to judge someone for something out of their control!”

“That is exactly my point! What you said is completely right, and yet, you judge a child for being sorted into Slytherin, something that is not exactly in their control.”

Lily paused. She had never looked at things like that, but then the situation was different. Slytherins hate muggleborns because they exists, but for being sorted into Slytherin, they must have a certain viewpoint. It was not out of their control!

“You said they get sorted because the way they think and not because of personal traits! So it is something that is in their control!”

“Just like muggleborns don’t choose their parents to be muggles or muggleborns, the children of blood-purist families don’t choose their parents, as well. A lot of those children act like they do because that is all they know. That is all they believe to be right. Things change after they start Hogwarts. Some of them, their view change, but I am sad to say that only a few of them change their behavior. Because in those families, every resistance is dealt with and often harshly. The children often conform because they cannot risk alienate their families which are their only support.”

“Are you saying that they would harm their children?”

“I thought that after seeing your friend’s situation, you already understood that not all parents are supportive and kind. But those families don’t need to harm their children. All they need to do is to just remove their support from them or disown them. All the other blood-purist families would turn their back on that child. Even those families who do not believe in such nonsense often would not step forth for the fear of bringing the wrath of powerful families upon themselves. And those people and families which supports muggleborns would not look at these children twice for the sole reason that they are Slytherins and thus are dark. What is a child to do in this situation? A lot of them learn to keep quiet about what they think and act like everyone expects from them. I am not saying all of them are like that, but I believe a lot of them are. And when you and everyone else say that Slytherins are dark, you are condemning a whole house because of the faults of a few.”

“Do you think that is why Severus was doing that? You know, calling other muggleborns, mudbloods and all that? Because he learned to pretend he is like his housemates?”

“I don’t know Severus, so I cannot say anything for sure. However, from what you told me, no one inside or outside his house would help or support him.”

Lily opened her mouth to object, but a gentle meaningful look from the lady stopped her. “So while I cannot say anything for sure, I believe it is very likely, especially considering his situation.”

It made sense and at the same time it was mind-blowing. She never thought about Slytherins like that. Well, she never thought about Slytherins. Period. Whenever the topic of Slytherins came up in discussions with her Gryffindor friends, they all agreed that Slytherins were evil, so there was nothing to think about. And she was ashamed to think that even after all those fights with Severus, she did not think about Slytherins as people and considered what they might be facing, Not. Even. Once. Well, she did not even think about what her best friend is going through. And what that said about her and the kind of person she was.

Chapter Text

The next day, Severus woke up feeling even more exhausted than when he went to sleep. Yesterday, he had received another important news, as well: When Pomfrey examined him, she said he will be fully recovered by next week and can use his wand again – and that meant he could start catching up with the practicals of his courses. Dumbledore, in a bout of ingenuity, decided that Severus may start attending his classes, as well – “as to not fall behind even more!”.

Severus spent the rest of yesterday and night, thinking – dreading – next week. He needed to think about what to tell his housemates, to salvage this situation with Dumbledore as much as possible. If he played his cards well, he can convince them – and their lord – that he was still loyal to the cause and was in a even better position to help. After all, now he was Dumbledore’s ward…. Actually, that was why he needed to consider things carefully. Being Dumbledore’s ward also meant he wasn’t at the bottom of their hierarchy anymore. No, actually it was the complete opposite, because while they were children of powerful pureblood families, Dumbledore’s position as the Chief Warlock in the Wizengamot made him – and thus Severus – a more influential and powerful person. So Severus needed to weight his every action carefully. While he was now above some of his housemates – maybe even most – he shouldn’t behave in a way that would alienate them, in case he can use them later. But at the same time, he needs to put them in their place, so they would know they are below him now.

Another thing he was dreading, was that he was going to have classes with Gryffindors. On the one hand, he still didn’t know how he should behave toward Lily. Should he apologize again and see if there was any chance she would accept it or should he just let bygones be bygones. On the other hand, sharing classes with Gryffindors meant Marauders and just the thought made Severus want to crawl into bed and never wake up.

In any case, as Severus was very lucky, he didn’t even get to dread things one at a time. No, so forget about next week, or even tomorrow. Just the thought that what today had in store for him, made him want to sleep and never wake up: Since tomorrow the ministry officials were coming for casting the spells on him and his confinement officially starts, and since he was going to start attending classes next week, Dumbledore informed him that they were going out today for shopping.

While the activity by itself was not something that Severus was thrilled about, what made it awful was that he needed to take a rest probably every fifteen minutes and even might need Dumbledore’s help. So yes, to say it was not something he looked forward to was an understatement.

With a sigh, he got up and did his mourning routine, then went outside his room and into the shared area. Just as he reached the dining table, his breakfast appeared on the table. Severus sat at the table and had his breakfast alone and in silence, as had become his norm for the past one week and half. When he finished, Tipsy appeared and took away the dishes, not even giving him time to thank him. Not that Severus was exactly in a thankful mood. Then Severus made his way back to his room. As he had rose early, he had a few hours to kill before it was time for them to depart. Severus spent the time trying to remember the name of Slytherins who were in upper years last year. Both who were in seventh year and graduated and those who were in sixth year – and now are in their seventh year. Severus needed to know how the hierarchy in the Slytherin was now, in order to know where he stands and how he should behave. And he needed to know it before he moved into the dorm. That was how he survived five years in Slytherin house and now was not the time to slip up.

He had finished his list and had started another list for the things he needed to buy, when Tipsy appeared and told him that Dumbledore wanted to see him in his office. Taking a look at his rather short list of robes – and maybe shirts and trousers – potion equipments, parchments, quills, and ink, he made his way toward the said office.

This was the first time he was in Dumbledore’s office since that night Black’s attempted murder. True, they surely passed the office when they moved Severus to his room, but at that time he was so deeply in thought that he didn’t even notice. Not that anything would have changed. During the years, Severus had been to headmaster office several times – mostly for punishments, but once to receive the news of his mother death, and once in the first year to ask Dumbledore to stay for the summer – and yet nothing seemed to have changed in it.

Not knowing how to announce his presence – it sounds weird to knock when you want to go out through the only exit in the living area – he just pushed the door open and entered. As usual, Dumbledore was sitting behind his desk writing something on a piece of parchment.

“Ah, Severus, please take a seat.”

“Tipsy said you wanted to see me.” Severus said after a minute of silence. Dumbledore put his quill down and finally looked at Severus.

“Yes, there is something I wanted to discuss with you” He opened a drawer and pulled out something and put it on his desk. It was a big rusty key. Dumbledore pushed it toward Severus and motioned for him to pick it up. Severus picked up the key and looked at Dumbledore for explanation.

“It is the key to the Prince vaults – your vaults. I thought it best to leave it in your hand, as an assurance that I have no intention of touching your inheritance.”

Severus felt wrong footed. While it had been something that he had thought about, he never said a word to Dumbledore. Did Dumbledore read his mind? Or maybe Madam Bones told him? She was the only one Severus ever said anything to. Something must have shown in his expression, because Dumbledore clarified.

“Since that was what your fa– previous guardian did, I wanted you to know that it won’t happen again. Don’t give me that look, Severus. That day in hospital wing you said I would abuse my power over you, do you want to tell me that this was not one of the ways that you thought I would do so?”

Severus arranged his expression and not knowing how exactly to respond to such a statement said. “Thank you,...sir”

Dumbledore smiled and continued. “While you have complete control about how you spend your inheritance, I have to say that I will pay for your expenses till your graduation, including today’s shopping.”

“There is no need for that, since–” Severus started, but Dumbledore cut him off.

“There is. I am your guardian and as your guardian it is my duty to do this. Also, you will receive a monthly allowance until your graduation. This is not up for debate.” Dumbledore said the last part firmly.

Again, Severus didn’t know how to react. He didn’t want to owe anyone anything, lest of all Dumbledore. And now, he didn’t even need Dumbledore’s charity, but what could he say or do?….Madam Bones said that they should use Dumbledore’s support, as long as, it is in his benefit. With the way Dumbledore stated his reason – it is his duty – there would be no way that he could later claim a debt, could he? Although, even if he did, as long as Severus was careful with his spending, he can always just pay him back. With this thought in mind, Severus nodded his acceptance.

“Excellent! Then we should be on our way. Have you written a list of things you need?” Severus nodded again.

“Then please go bring it, as well as your traveling cloak. Also, don’t forget to bring your vault key…. and your potions, as we will spend most of the day out.”

Severus returned to his room to pick up his list from the desk and his traveling cloak, before moving to his bedside table and took several potions that he had to take daily. Coming back, Dumbledore offered to carry his potions for him which Severus refused. Next Dumbledore took Severus’ list and looked at the items. After a moment of silence, he asked. “Is that all you need?”

“Yes, that is all.” Severus said defensively.

Dumbledore hummed in response, before putting the parchment in his pocket and stirred Severus toward fireplace.

“We are going to Floo to the Leaky Cauldron.”

He offered the Floo powder to Severus who took a handful and threw it in the fireplace. A few moment later, Severus exited the fireplace in Leaky Cauldron followed closely by Dumbledore. With a nod toward the owner, they made their way toward Diagon Alley.

Their first destination was Gringotts where Dumbledore withdrew some money from his own vault and they had a meeting with Gryhm, the manager of Prince belongings. Severus proved that he was indeed the Prince heir, by doing an ancestry test. Then they got a list of all properties under the Prince names. Just looking at the list made Severus’ eyes as big as a saucer. While he knew Prince was an old pureblood family name, he never knew they were rich. His housemates did not have much information about Princes. He must have said the last part out loud, because Gryhm replied kindly that it was because his grandparents were powerful, respected, and graceful people who didn’t need to flaunt their power or money, so unless it was necessary, they did not get involved with ridiculous political fights. Severus sat a little straighter at this, feeling proud to be considered as a Prince. When Severus chose the name ‘Half-Blood Prince’ for himself, it was because he wanted to distance himself from his drunk father. It was a childish wish to be a Prince rather than related to a drunk violent man, even if he didn’t know what kind of people Princes were. But to know that his grandparents were respected people made him proud of his heritage. What made it even more prominent was that said grandparents had actually accepted him as the Prince heir.

Then they got a report about the amount of money in the money-exclusive vaults. Apparently, there were two types of Prince vaults, the vaults which had only money and Gryhm kept track of withdrawals and deposits. All the moneys earned from investments went into those vaults. There was a second type of vaults which no one except the lord and lady Prince ever knew what was in them. Severus requested a report of all the withdrawals and deposits of the last two years – since his grandfather’s death. However, he refused to go over Prince investments with Gryhm or visit the private vaults, using the excuse that he was getting tired and they still had a long day ahead, but promised to visit some other time to do them – some time that Dumbledore was not with him. It was bad enough that Severus got the list of his properties with Dumbledore present. Even though he returned the parchment to Gryhm before Dumbledore could take it and read it, he was sure that Dumbledore got to see some of the addresses.

After getting the report – which Severus put in the pocket of his robe to look at it when he was alone – they concluded their business. Exiting the bank, they noticed that it was almost noon, so they went back to Leaky Cauldron for lunch, since Severus needed to take his potions on-time. After lunch, they returned to Diagon Alley where Dumbledore directed Severus toward a small shop in the corner where the whole front view was filled with all types and shapes of clocks. The shop’s name ‘Cloaking Clock’ didn’t give much more explanation about why they were there.

Severus looked at Dumbledore for explanation, but he just motioned for Severus to enter. Inside the shop was not much different than the view: it was a small room filled with old clocks. The only space not filled clocks was a doorway – probably leading to the back room. And that is exactly where Dumbledore led Severus. Entering the second room which was much bigger, Severus noticed that this room was like a living room….filled to the brim with chairs and couches. Seeing the confused expression on Severus face, Dumbledore finally explained. “I thought you might want to get some furniture.”

“But I don’t need anything.”

“Well, I think your room need some furniture. Maybe you can consider getting a warm carpet – the tower floor can become very cold during the winter. The tower is much colder and dryer than Slytherin dormitory. Maybe a couch to put in front of the fireplace, where you can relax.”

While the words were suggestive, Dumbledore’s tone was not. It was clear that they won’t leave until he had gotten something. For a moment Severus wondered why it mattered that tower was cold in winter, when he was returning to his dormitory. But, he pushed the thought aside and said he will look around. He ended up buying two bookshelves, a dark navy carpet – seeing Dumbledore’s expression, Severus defended his choice “It looks warm and comfortable.”, a navy bedcover – at Dumbledore’s insistence to match the carpet – a white Victorian chaise lounge, and – to the surprise of both himself and Dumbledore – a moving painting of autumn scenery of a lake side, where the leaves moved in wind. For some reason, it reminded Severus of his and Lily’s spot in Cokeworth, even though it looked nothing like it; for one, the water near their spot was contaminated, while this one looked clean.

After paying for the furniture and scheduling the delivery. Dumbledore and Severus made their way to the apothecary. Inside, Dumbledore asked for a chair and then to the owner’s surprise, told Severus to sit down, while he, himself was standing. Severus slumped in the chair gratefully, without any protest. It was humiliating, but he was too tired to care right now. Dumbledore ordered the necessary potion ingredients for sixth year and a full set of equipments. This was one of the only times that Severus didn’t have any objection to Dumbledore’s seemingly money wasting. When it mattered, he interjected to say things like ‘No, he didn’t want a lead cauldron, but he would get a copper one’, or ‘he wanted a tin stirrer, as well’, or ‘those shrivelled chinch bug wings didn’t look fresh’, but other than that left things to Dumbledore. After they were done, Dumbledore paid and asked for delivery – for some extra fee, which was a luxury on its own that Severus never experienced before, but still thought was a waste of money as they could carry their items.

Afterwards, they made their way toward Madam Malkin’s to get his school robes, or that was what Severus thought. However, to Severus’ shock and dismay, Dumbledore asked for a full wardrobe set and made Severus get all types of cloths, from underwear and socks, to shirts and trousers, to different sets for winter and summer including jackets, shoes, and boots. He even had to choose some comfortable cloths for home, and some formal robes and dress shirt for events. And the worst part was that Dumbledore wouldn’t let him get everything in white or black, oh no, he insisted that Severus should choose some colored shirts and dressing shirts as well; from different colors.

By the time they were done, it was after 3pm and Severus was ready to either drop dead or kill Dumbledore and then drop dead. He was so done, that this time he didn’t care one bit that Dumbledore payed extra for delivery. He just wanted to get out of there! His exhaustion must have been clear, as without any word Dumbledore started walking toward Leaky Cauldron, expecting Severus to follow. In any other situation, Severus would probably threw a fit because of Dumbledore’s behavior, but right now, he was too tired. In Leaky Cauldron, Dumbledore ordered tea and biscuits for himself and Severus ordered juice – and wasn’t it irritating that he couldn’t even get a Butterbeer? – and then sat in silence. Things didn’t change even after Tom brought their order. On one hand, Severus didn’t want to start a conversation with Dumbledore. On the other hand, unlike when he was with McGonagall, this silence was stifling and uncomfortable. So, after ten minutes of silence, Severus lost his patience, drank the rest of his juice in one breath and told Dumbledore that he was ready to go.

Their next stop was to buy a new trunk, which thankfully was finished quickly. Their next stop was even quicker: Severus’ glare, in response to Dumbledore’s suggestion of making a stop at the pet shop, was so strong that Dumbledore just made his way quickly to the next stop without saying anything. Severus thought maybe Dumbledore saw how close Severus was to make a murder attempt.

Next, they made a stop at Flourish and Blotts. Severus already had his textbooks, but he needed parchment, quill, and ink. He left Dumbledore to handle that part – wanting to get away from him for a few minutes, no, needing to get way from him – and went to browse the shelves.

He passed the shelves, looking at the subjects: History, Herbology, Charms,...Potions. He looked at the book titles, touching the book spines lightly…until a title caught his eyes.

Just the Dead are Unsavable

Advanced Healing Magic for Witches and Wizards

The book was rather thin and small for what it claimed and it was put at the end of the shelf, half hidden behind some bigger books – like someone put it deliberately there for it to not be found. For some reason, Severus felt attracted to the book, but not the way one gets attracted to dark objects. Considering that buying any book – even his textbooks – was a thought that Severus couldn’t even entertain before, Severus decided to buy the book. Dumbledore could hardly complain since it was a book about healing magic.

He made his way back and silently put the book beside their other purchases. Dumbledore picked up the book. Reading the title, he raised a questioning eyebrow at Severus which he answered with a shrug. The shopkeeper took one look at the book and said “Are you sure you want to buy that? The book is both old and very rare, so it is very expensive. Also, it is all written in Latin and from what I have heard from its previous purchaser – who returned book to get his money back – it does not even explains the concepts or instructions well.”

Dumbledore and Severus shared a look, then Severus said. “Yes, we will take it. It says it is advanced magic, so obviously not every dunderhead would understand the concepts.” ‘but as I’m not a dunderhead I will understand’ went unsaid, but both adults heard it. The adults exchanged a look not knowing how to respond to such a statement, before Dumbledore cleared his throat and said.

“Yes, we will take the book, as well.”

By paying and shrinking their stuff, they concluded their shopping and Severus breathed a sigh of relief. Afterwards, they made their way toward Leaky Cauldron and from there Flooed back to Hogwarts. Severus was so tired that he, after a quick change of cloths, went directly to bed.

~~oOo~~

Minerva sat back in her chair, having finished the last marking of sixth years assignments. It took her longer than usual, as her thoughts kept straying away. She opened one the drawers of her desk and brought out Severus’ latest assignment. It was well-written. He clearly had studied the references she brought him and used them to write a comprehensive answer to the question she had asked. Minerva was wondering why she had never noticed it before; that despite his struggles during her class, his assignments were always well-written. It was clear how much thought and effort has been put into them. Minerva, after all these years of teaching, could easily distinguish between a hastily and careless written assignment and something that is well-organized. So, why she had not noticed before? Was she so biased against him that she would not see something so obvious?

In any case, things would be different from now on, she decided. Not only in regard to Severus, but also for all other students. After what happened, Minerva revised her teaching strategies and her marking schemes with consideration to students in all years who were trying hard, but for some reason were struggling. She planned to meet with some of those students personally, in order to come up with a solution to help them.

As for Severus, she had already covered some of the materials from the previous years which she knew he had problem understanding. During their meetings, Minerva came to appreciate Severus as a student. It was clear that he was grieving, and was struggling with his current situation, but Minerva could see how hard he was trying to focus during their meetings, and to learn the material. Another thing was how well he was managing being cooped up in a set of rooms, without any company. In all the years that she taught at Hogwarts, she never saw a teenager who could handle confinement so well. At first, Minerva was concerned about leaving him alone and unsupervised for almost the whole day. It was this concern – and a great amount of pity – that lead her to invite Severus to have tea with her. However, soon enough she came to appreciate and even enjoy the time they spent together.

Severus was not an open or cheery person. That was a fact. However, once you accepted that fact and approached him without any such unreasonable expectations, then you would be able to see what an interesting person he was. Severus was not a chit-chat person – probably because his situation made him grow up too fast. This meant that a lot of topics of interest for general teenagers had no appeal for him – which was probably why he was an outcast at school. What Minerva found out during their tea time was that, once a topic of interest came up, Severus was actually a talkative person. He talked with passion about his understanding of a concept or a rule. He was witty and had an interesting sense of humor (dry, dark, with a touch of gallows humor). On one occasion, she saw a mischievous side of him which she was not aware even existed. She even managed to make him smile – and she was proud of herself for that – even if it was at Albus’ expenses.

So her times with Severus soon turned to one of her favorite pastimes, and it was something that she intended to continue, even when Severus returned to class.

~~oOo~~

The second week of November was halfway gone and Lily still had not made up her mind. She had been thinking about visiting Severus for the last a few days, but could not bring herself to actually do it. Her mind was in a turmoil. One part of her mind told her that she needs more time to think: it was true, the more she thought about things, the less prepared she felt. Another part of her mind, called it cowardice and said that it has nothing to do with thinking: It was also true. It turns out Lily was not as brave as she thought – another belief about herself that shattered – as she could not face Severus again. Another part of her mind supplied that even if she needs time to think, she cannot do it infinitely – why not? If it meant not facing Severus – and that at some point she needs to face her problem – was Severus the problem? Or the problem was facing Severus?

And to make it worse, there was a part of her which said why should she go and make amends? She knew she cared for Severus, so she should do what was best for him. Was reconciling with him, the best for him or it was just what she wanted? Did she even deserve to initiate something like that? Why should they become friends again? It was true that a lot of things has changed, but a lot of them has not changed: Severus was still a Slytherin and she a Gryffindor. After returning to classes, Severus was going to spend time with his housemates and she still needed to defend her decision of being friends with him again. Severus was going to fight with James and others again and she…what was she supposed to do? Because yes, now she could admit to herself that she was attracted to James, but his fights with Severus made everything more complicated.

See...that was one of the reasons that she ended things with Severus: it was complicated. Just like everything else, James and Severus were total opposite of each other: Liking James…was easy. He was open, charming, and cheerful and he expressed his feelings openly – especially his feelings toward her, as he once stood on a table in the Gryffindor common rooms to read her a poem! He was good looking, athletic, and he was from a respectable family. James was the type of man you could take home to introduce to your parents. And most importantly, she didn’t need to explain herself to anyone for liking him. She didn’t need to defend her choice to her girlfriends – they even encouraged her to go out with James. She could have everything at the same time; be happy and make everyone happy.

Severus, on the other hand….it was complicated. He was funny, frighteningly intelligent, sweet and caring and….the most infuriating person Lily has ever seen in her life! He was like a closed book. Tight lipped about himself and his problems, and even more tight lipped about his emotions! You had a higher chance of pulling teeth with bare hands than getting something out of Severus when he didn’t want to talk! The most emotions she saw him express was anger and hate….toward James and his friends. He was from – what the neighbours called – the wrong side of Cockworth. And most importantly having him and her other friends at the same time in her life seemed to be impossible. So, while she knew she wanted to have Severus in her life, she was not sure whether she could handle everything that came with it. What if they resumed their friendship and she, under the pressure from her friends and tired from Severus’ moody behavior, made a mess again and hurt both herself and Severus, again? Wouldn’t it be better to just let things be? To let it end here?

In the end it was the Lady – Helga, her name is Helga – who came to her rescue by asking one simple question: “What does Severus think?” and suddenly Lily understood what a big mistake she was making. Here she was deciding alone about a relationship without asking about what the other side was thinking. Does Severus even want to be friends with her again? Now, she knew what she needed to do. Prepared or not, she was going to talk to Severus. She will tell him the situation and see what Severus thought. Whatever they decide, they need to decide it together.

With that thought in mind, she made her way toward the headmaster’s office the first chance she got. Since she was a perfect, she had access to headmaster office’s password, so saying the password, she made her way up and knocked on the door. When Dumbledore saw who his visitor was, he asked. “Miss. Evans, what brings you here? Is there something wrong.”

“I need to see Severus.” Seeing Dumbledore’s expression, she continued, not giving the headmaster a chance. “I know that he probably doesn’t want to see me, but I need to see him and talk to him. It is very important.”

Dumbledore raised his hand to stop her. “I understand and I really don’t think that Severus would be averse to seeing you, but he is currently meeting Professor Flitwick about his Charms course work.”

“Oh...then can I see him…” she thought about her schedule trying to find a time that she was free – from classes, homework, and perfect duties “On Thursday morning or Friday evening?”

“He has course work on Thursday morning, but his Friday evening is free. So I think he can meet you then.”

Lily thought it was a little odd that Dumbledore did not ask Severus that whether he wanted to meet her or not, but said nothing – What could have she said? So, instead she thanked the headmaster and made her way out, thinking about what she should say to Severus and how she should go about it.

~~oOo~~

Dumbledore sat back in his chair with a satisfied air. Everything was going well. He was planning to arrange a reunion between the two friends, but he had decided to wait until Severus returned to his classes. However, it was a good thing that Miss. Evans took the first step. It would mean less work for him. If their meeting does not go well this time, as well, then Dumbledore would step in to help them. However, if everything goes well, then he needs to be prepared for the next step. After all, if he wanted to change Severus’ mind about joining Tom, then he needs to replace the Slytherins around him with other people more aligned with the light side. People who would help Severus change his alliance and support him in that road. Miss. Evans was one such a person, but she, alone, was not enough to change Severus from his path, as it was clear from the events of the last a few years.

So, yes, he will keep an eye out on the result of Friday meeting of Severus and Miss. Evans. But he also will think about suitable people for befriending Severus and set the stage.

Chapter Text

Severus put the last book in his trunk and sat back. He was almost ready to return to his dorm in the dungeons. He got his schedule and the Slytherin common rooms’ password from Slughorn and he had almost all the stuff he needed in his trunk. Yesterday, the ministry officials came and cast the monitoring spells: One for his location which would raise alarms if he exits the castle grounds – in such a case Dumbledore and the ministry official who cast the spell would be notified of his whereabouts. The other spell was for his magic and health which would raise alarm if either he was hurt – in case he hurt himself – or he hurt others. Again, in such case, Dumbledore and the ministry employee would be notified about the details and his whereabouts.

The procedure went smoothly and very quickly. A nondescript event, despite all the significance it had for Severus. Severus looked at his wrist where two thin bracelet sat innocently; The symbol of his restrictions; that he was being monitored. He knew that he shouldn’t complain. For it could have been worse; much worse. Especially because no one could see the bracelets; no one except the ministry employee, Dumbledore, Pomfrey, and Severus, himself. And they weighted nothing. If Severus covered them with his sleeve, then he could almost forget they were even there; almost. Because the thought was always at the back of his mind: that he and his magic were being monitored by a ministry employee that he didn’t even know and by Dumbledore which he didn’t trust.

That was also why he was packing his stuff and getting ready to move to his dorm. Being surrounded by his housemates, he would need to use all his focus on not slipping up and won’t get the chance to think about things he could do nothing about.

Another example of such things – which Severus was trying to not think about, because he didn’t what to think – was Lily. Dumbledore informed him that she was coming to visit him tomorrow and Severus didn’t know what to make of it. Did Dumbledore put her up to it, again? Why would he? Was she coming, out of her own accord? Why should she? What made her decide to visit Severus again? After more than three weeks. Severus didn’t know what to think. He even didn’t know whether to be angry at Dumbledore for arranging the visit without asking him, or grateful that he didn’t ask. What would he have said if he was asked? Would he have eagerly agreed? Would he have refused to meet her? He didn’t know. He didn’t know what he would have done or even wanted.

Sighing, he got up from his place on the carpet and made his way out of his room and toward the headmaster office. As much as it galled him, he had to talk with Dumbledore about moving to dorms, and take his permission, both as his guardian and his headmaster. He opened the door and entered. Dumbledore was standing in front of one of his cabinets, wand in hand and a silvery thread hanging from his wand. He cleared his throat to get Dumbledore’s attention. Seeing Severus, Dumbledore dropped the thread into what Severus now could see was a basin and closed the cabinet’s door. “Come, Severus. Sit. Tell me what brought you here?”

“What is that?” Severus motioned to the cabinet instead, his curiosity taking better of him. Glancing at the object of interest, Dumbledore answered. “It is a pensive. A rare object which allows a person to view memories.”

“Memories? The silvery thread?” Severus made a guess.

“Yes, using a wand, one can extract memories and then put them in the pensive. Then by putting your face in the pensive, you can view them.”

“How can you extract memories? Is it of a type of magical spells which affects the mind?”

“No, it is a simple form of magic which does not affect the mind in anyway. It only extract a copy of the memories which the owner of the memory is focused on. If you want, I can teach you later how to do it, for now let’s talk about what brought you here, because I doubt it is about how to extract memories or use pensive.”

Sitting down, Severus said. “Since I will start attending classes from next Monday, I was thinking it would be better if I moved to the dormitory today or tomorrow, so that I can settle in over the weekend.”

Dumbledore hummed. He had a pensive look on his face for a few moments, before he cleared his throat, leaned forward in his seat and said. “Well, I have come to know that you and your housemates do not get along very well, and I have reasons to believe that now that you are my ward, it would become much worse.”

“What reasons?” Severus asked, not understanding what Dumbledore was trying to say.

“Let’s just say that I have information indicating such a thing can happen.”

“And this information tells you what my housemates are going to do?” Severus wasn’t sure if Dumbledore was just making something up or if such a information really exist. After all, it wasn’t such a impossible thing for his housemates to plan something nasty – wouldn’t be the first time – and Severus needed to know exactly what this information entailed – ‘if it even was a real thing’ a voice said in his mind – so that he can plan accordingly.

“I don’t think I need to explain it to you, as you know it well. We both know your housemates don’t take kindly to having a half-blood among them and what they do to show their displeasure. Being a half-blood with connections to me will make things worse.”

‘If you know they don’t take well to a half-blood, then where were you these last five years?’ Severus thought bitterly, but he didn’t let any of it show as he tried word it differently. “It is not like I just became a half-blood recently. From my first year, I was a half-blood in Slytherin. So, that is nothing new….And being connected to you, I can handle it just fine. The Slytherins are not stupid, they would not make a move that can be traced back to them. Also, I am not the only half-blood in Slytherin. There are other half-bloods and even muggleborns in Slytherin. So my housemates, as you put it, shouldn’t take kindly to at least one fifth of Slytherin house. And yet, I don’t see you trying to protect them. Not that any one there actually needs your protection.” Severus added the last sentence to cover his almost slip up about his situation in Slytherin, but it seemed that Dumbledore didn’t even hear it, as his next words were:

“There are muggleborns in Slytherin?”

Severus rolled his eyes and said. “Of course, there are. What did you think? That there was a entry condition into Slytherin: ‘needs to be a pure-blood or half-blood’ and the hat checks it at sorting?” The words slipped out before Severus could even consider who he was speaking to, but it seems he was in luck and Dumbledore didn’t hear his sarcastic comment, as well – if a lack of reaction was any indication.

There were a few moments of silence, before Dumbledore shook his head slightly and said. “ In any case, I believe your situation is different from the others, as I believe that your life might be in danger. And , as your guardian I think that you shouldn’t have to deal with something like this on your own. As a matter of fact, I do not want you to burden yourself with something like that. That is why I was thinking that maybe we should consider a re-sorting for you.”

“What?” Severus asked, not comprehending.

“I think we should sort you, again.” Dumbledore repeated.

“What made you think that the hat will sort me into another house?”

“After getting to know you better this past month, I have a feeling that the result of the sorting would be different. I always did wonder that maybe we sort too early.”

His temper rising, Severus said. “So, what? Since you think I am not evil anymore, then I cannot be a Slytherin? And what about others? Those muggleborns and half-bloods… are they evil? Or maybe now that you know about them, you are going to re-sort all of them?”

“It has nothing to do with being evil, my boy, just showing traits of a house. And as for other half-bloods and muggleborns, as I mentioned, your case is different. However, if you believe completely that you will be again sorted into Slytherin, then you should not have anything against trying it, mmm?”

“The very idea is ludicrous! And I refuse to do it!”

“And as I mentioned, I cannot let you risk your life by returning to Slytherin dormitory.” Dumbledore said firmly. There was a few moments of silence where Severus glared at Dumbledore and Dumbledore looked back calmly; both refusing to back down.

Then Dumbledore sighed and said. “If it is so important for you to stay in Slytherin, then I will accept, but you also need to make a compromise and allow me to ensure your safety.”

“How?”

“Well, for starter, I think it would be better if you stayed here instead of in the dormitories. You can have classes, your meals, and free periods with your housemates and return to your room before curfew.”

It was ridiculous. Severus wanted to rage and refuse, but by the end of it, legally, Dumbledore was his guardian and he, Severus, was an insane suicide teenager with only Dumbledore between him and a mental asylum. He entertained the idea of asking McGonagall, Pomfrey, or Madam Bones to interfere, but since Dumbledore was giving Severus’ safety as his reason for doing this, there was a high chance that they would agree with Dumbledore. On the small chance that they sided with Severus over Dumbledore, and could even win against Dumbledore, did Severus want to use such a trump card on something like this? He has already forced Dumbledore to make this compromise rather than another sorting, so maybe it would be better to count his blessings and concede on this matter. There was something that niggled at him about Dumbledore’s compromise, but for the life of him, he couldn’t say what it was. So with no more argument, he decided to acquiesce to Dumbledore’s request.

Walking dejectedly back to his room and entering, Severus’ eye fell on the navy carpet in front of the fireplace and suddenly it clicked in his mind what has been bothering him about Dumbledore’s compromise.

“Maybe you can consider getting a warm carpet – the tower floor can become very cold during the winter. The tower is much colder and dryer than Slytherin dormitory.”

There was no compromise. Dumbledore must have known that Severus would not accept a re-sorting, so he had came up with this plan in order to keep Severus here and keep an eye on him. Maybe re-sorting was just an excuse – it was probably even against the rules to sort students again. It was all a ruse to make Severus agree to stay in his rooms and Severus, fool that he was, fell for it.

Severus wanted to rage, to scream, to set the blasted carpet and everything on fire; instead he took a deep breath, then took a sock out of his drawer and transfigured it into a doll with beard and ridiculously bright cloth. Then he threw the doll into the lit fireplace, sat in front of the fireplace, and watched it burn. He found the experience very therapeutic. Then Severus sat and plotted.

~~oOo~~

Thursday turned into Friday in a blink of an eye. Severus struggled to concentrate during his lessons on Friday morning. His mind kept going to all he wanted to tell Lily. He had decided to apologize to her – for his behavior last time she visited him, and see if there was any chance they could be friends again. Because in the end his love for her won over everything else.

Friday evening couldn’t come sooner. Severus had decided to meet with her in the living area rather than his room, so when his clock showed 3 o’clock, he took his potion textbook and sat on the couch in front fireplace in the living room. He kept staring at the text in front of him, without seeing anything. Since yesterday, he kept thinking about the implications of staying in his rooms rather than the dorm. This morning, during his meeting with McGonagall, he told her about Dumbledore’s idea of re-sorting and their argument. McGonagall was exasperated with Dumbledore’s decision and said that she will talk to him. However, she also said that with the way Dumbledore had presented his argument – that it is because of Severus’ safety – she didn’t think there would be any chance of changing his mind – She also admitted that while she didn’t agree with Dumbledore’s approach, she was also concerned about Severus’ situation in Slytherin dormitory and she felt better at knowing that he was safe.

Severus could understand her point – and he himself was a little relieved about not having to erect wards around his stuff and bed every day, so that no one would mess with them. However, Severus’ main concern, which was something he couldn’t tell her – or anyone – was how his living arrangements were going to affect his relation with his housemates. He had thought long and hard about how to handle everything, and now just as he thought he had everything under control – that he knew exactly what to say to his housemates – Dumbledore pulled the rug from right under him. Because now, he was going to have a harder time convincing his housemates that he was useful and loyal to the cause.

On one hand, if his housemates get the impression that he had sided with Dumbledore or that he had agreed to stay in his room to get away from them, then they would never trust him or believe that he genuinely wanted to join their side. On the other hand, if they thought that he had no choice and Dumbledore forced him against his will, then they would think him to be under Dumbledore’s thumb and thus they won’t consider him useful anymore. Slytherins were not easily fooled, so Severus needed to find a plausible explanation that would balance these two sides.

Severus didn’t know how long he was lost in his thoughts, but the sound of the door of the quarters opening, brought him out of his thoughts. Looking up, he saw Lily closing the door behind her, before making her way toward Severus’ room, not having noticed him. He cleared his throat which made Lily swirl around.

“Oh, you are here. Hi!” Lily said with a smile.

“Hi….how are you?” Severus asked unsure.

“Oh, thank god. I thought you are going to ask why I am here!” Lily said with exaggerated relief, not being able to stop herself.

“That was my next question.” Severus shot back with a straight face, though Lily could see his shoulders relaxing a little. It was easy to fall back on their banter.

“Well….we need to talk.” Lily said her face turning serious.

“Did Dumbledore put you up to do this?”

“No, and no, he did not make me come last time, either. As I said, I have come because we need to talk.” She sat down on the other side of the couch.

Severus mulled over his words for a few moments. “I also wanted to say something, as well, but you first.”

“I thought about what you said last time and I believe I owe you an apology and an explanation.” Severus opened his mouth to object to her need to apologize, but Lily beat him to it. “Just let me say my part. I have been practicing what to say – to not mess things up – so let me just go first, before I forget what I wanted to say.”

Severus’ eye brow raised at the practice part, but he stayed silent and nodded for her to continue.

“Okay, first of all, I’m sorry for my behavior last year and for ending our friendship. After our talk last time, I realized that I made a lot of decisions based on some assumption I had about you, without even trying to find out whether they were true or not. And it turned out that….a lot of them were actually false. When you started hanging out with you Slytherin housemates in second year, I was worried that you would end our friendship, since you found other friends.”

Severus eyes widened in surprise and he opened his mouth to comment, but one look from Lily and he closed them again. Lily continued. “But I put it aside as I saw that you still met with me for study and in your free periods. But when you started behaving like them and called all muggleborns, mudblood, my worries returned stronger than before. By the end of fourth year, I was sure that you are ashamed to be friends with me. That was why you didn’t want your housemates to see us together and insisted that we meet in secret ad outside of others’ view. My friends told me that you were only pretending to be friends with me, because you wanted to lure me somewhere and hurt me and told me again and again to not show up for our meeting. I ignored them because I knew that was not true, but I thought the reason you are behaving that way was because you were ashamed and didn’t want to be friends with me anymore, but you didn’t said anything because you didn’t want to hurt me.” She sighed and closed her eyes, as she said the next words. “Because you didn’t have the guts to look me in the eyes and end it.”

She opened her eyes, but looked at the fire instead of at Severus. “So, I decided to do it, to end it for you. But I kept pushing it back, because I couldn’t do it… it hurt so badly. And what made it worse was the fact that I thought you were all fine, and there I was crumbling from our ruined friendship. At the start of fifth year, I promised myself that I will end it, little by little. Kill that part of myself that cared for you; that wanted to have you in my life. So, I tried to distance myself from you. I made excuses to meet with you less and less and tried to fill your absence in my heart and in my life with other things: My Gryffindor friends, my studies, my perfect duties, tutoring younger students….and still it hurt. It hurt every time that I made an excuse to cut our time short. It hurt when you accepted my excuses without any argument; without any complaints….as if you didn’t care. I convinced myself that the reason you didn’t say anything was because you didn’t care any more and I was just saving myself from being hurt; from being left behind. By the time you called me a mudblood, I was ready to end it all.” She sighed and looked Severus in the eyes.

“And it turned out all these assumption were wrong and I ended up hurting both of us….I remember how easy things were before Hogwarts. We were really close, telling each other everything – well, not everything it turned out.” She gave a look and Severus looked away, not being able to hold Lily’s gaze, any more. “But I always thought we understand each other then, but when we started Hogwarts, I started to realize that I do not understand you. Our way of thinking, our viewpoint is so different. I don’t know when things started to go wrong, but looking back, I am not surprised it did.” She took a deep breath and continued. “I don’t know if anything of our friendship can be salvaged, but I know that I don’t want to do it. This friendship had turned into something so rotten that I don’t even want to touch it.”

Severus’ heart sank. Lily had came to end things cleanly; to tell Severus that there was no chance for them anymore. That she didn’t want there to be any chance. As if reading his mind, Lily said. “But I didn’t come to say that, we ll not just that….After you were moved here, I went to Hospital Wing to see you, but the bed was empty. Not knowing the truth, I thought that they had moved you because you had died. I felt my world has turned upside down and I felt such a pain in my heart that I didn’t know was possible to feel. I realized that despite all my work, I still cared for you greatly and I regretted that I did not accept your apology. I wished to have a second chance. When I found out you are alive, it was like my wish had came true. That was why I came to see you.”

“Sorry for ruining that.” Severus muttered, but Lily shook her head.

“No, thank you for that, because if you didn’t say what you did, I would not have come to understand a lot of things. What I came to say today is that I don’t want to continue our previous friendship, but I am not ready to give up on us, either. I want to start a new friendship. Severus, you and I are very different…too different. That means that if we want this friendship to work, we need to work doubly hard. We do not understand each other’s viewpoints naturally. So we need to work for it: we need to talk and we need to listen, actually listen, and try to see things from the other’s point of view….and...and to have some faith and trust in each other. I have thought long and hard on this and I am ready to do this….are you?”

She thrust out her hand for a handshake, after a moment she lowered her hand a little and added. “When we go out there, my Gryffindor friends are going to be there, your housemates are going to be there, everything probably will be same. I cannot promise you that what my friends tell me won’t affect me, that I will not get frustrated from the pressure, that we are not going to argue about the behavior of your housemates. But I promise this: that I will listen to your side and try my best to understand your side. But that will only work if you meet me halfway….if you help me understand…if you open up to me and talk to me. So what do you say? Do you want to be friends with me?”

Severus was speechless. Here he was, thinking about apologizing – and even begging Lily if it came to that – in hopes of getting their friendship back and here she was, offering something far better: A new chance at a new friendship, a promise to listen – something that no one except his mother has done for him – a promise to try to understand. He didn’t think it would be possible for him to love her more, but in that moment his love for her swelled. He wanted to say ‘hell, yeah!’, but instead what came out of his stupid mouth was:

“You sound so wise and mature.”

Lily chuckled and ran a hand through her hair. “Well, I hope so, because I did a lot of thinking and of course I had help, but honestly I probably spent more time thinking….introspection….in the last three weeks than I did my whole life….put together! Well maybe that is an exaggeration, but you know what I mean. So do you want to renew our friendship?”

Severus looked into her beautiful eyes and said quietly. “You shouldn’t have ever doubted it.”

Lily moved closer on the couch and took his hand in hers as she said with a sad smile. “No, I shouldn’t have.”

Severus squeezed her hands to say it was okay. Taking that as her cue, Lily said. “So it is time for you to keep up your end of bargain.” seeing Severus’ confused expression, she clarified. “Talking, of course. It is your turn to talk.”

“What should I say?”

“Well, mmm….you can start by saying that last year when I made excuses to not meet you, why you didn’t speak up?”

Severus froze. It was one thing to say he wanted to be friends with her and would do anything to have it. It was another thing to talk about his weaknesses; to Lily no less! Lily looked into his eyes and said. “Severus, please! I want to understand, but you need to help me. Talk to me.”

And here he was, facing one of his biggest weaknesses: he could never deny Lily anything when she looked at him like that. But he also couldn’t look into her eyes and admit his weakness, so he looked down, at her hand holding his, and started to talk.

“I….I was….” he took a deep breath and plunged. “I was afraid. You always seemed so comfortable and happy when you were with Gryffindors….and last year….last year, it seemed like we were always fighting. I was afraid….that if I pushed you, if I demanded more of your time, you would end our friendship.”

There was a few moments of silence, before Lily said. “I want to complain, to be angry that you thought me to be like that, but I can’t….because in the end, I did do that.”

“It was my fault, I called you an unforgivable word.”

“Maybe, but that is not the point. The point is that your worries were not baseless and that is exactly the problem. I did end our friendship, partially because it was easier to destroy it than try to fix it.” she exhaled loudly and said. “anyway….next question: do you care for blood purity?” At Severus’ look she continued. “Then why do you call other muggleborns, mudblood?”

“Stop saying that word!” Seeing the look on Lily’s face, he sighed. “It is hard to explain. Things in Slytherin work differently than Gryffindor.”

“Like half-bloods and muggleborns either keep to shadows or try to fit in by playing by the pure-bloods’ rules.” At Severus’ surprised look. “I told you I did a lot of thinking, but I also had help. Someone helped me understand a little how things might have been for you. I still need to hear your side, because knowing how things in Slytherin works is completely different from knowing what you have experienced.” Seeing Severus expression at ‘hear your side’, she amended. “We don’t have to do it all right now, but I need to hear it all eventually.”

It was difficult for her. She wanted to know everything, so that they wouldn’t make the same mistakes again. But, she could see how Severus was struggling with opening up. ‘be patient’ her mind cautioned. ‘what matter is that Severus is trying to open up, but you need to give him time’ the part of her mind who sounded like Helga said. However, it was easier said than done. After all, being patient was never her forte.

Relief was clear on Severus’ face and Lily congratulated herself for making the right decision in not pushing him. Trying to lighten the mood, Lily changed the subject. “So headmaster said that you are catching up with your coursework, any idea when you can return to the class?”

“Yes, I will start from next Monday.”

“Wow, really? That’s great! So when are you going back to Slytherin dormitory?”

“I am not.” Severus said sullenly.

“What? Why?”

In response, Severus told her about his argument with Dumbledore, his anger, fresh from yesterday, made is much easier to form words than before. When he was done with his rant, Lily said with a small smile.

“I would liked it if you were re-sorted into Gryffindor.” At Severus glare, she clarified. “I am not saying that it would have been a good idea to re-sort you! I am just saying that I would have liked it, because it would have meant that we could sit in the common room until late and talk, instead of having to stop before curfew. But I know that it would have been awful for you, especially because you had to share a dorm with Ja-Potter and his friends. Also, you would have to share the common room with my housemates who wouldn’t have taken it well that a Slytherin has been put there. Probably they all treated you like trash because they would have considered it as an invasion by an enemy’s spy.” she said with a grimace. “I think even the red and gold interior design would have been too cheerful for your grumpiness.” She tried to lighten the mood. Then she sighed and said. “Honestly, I don’t know what Dumbledore was thinking. What did he think would happen if a Slytherin was suddenly re-sorted into another house in their sixth year? How did he think that would go with the students in that house? Did he think that they would greet you warmly and made sure you know how their house operated? No, it would have been a disaster! You situation would have been probably a lot worse than in Slytherin – well, maybe your situation in Hufflepuffs would have better, but I never imagined you as a Hufflepuff….but honestly, I think you would be safer in Slytherin than any other house.”

“Did you just something positive about Slytherins?”

“Well, everyone says Slytherins are awful people – some even say they are evil – all because of their prejudice against muggleborns. They are disliked for judging and discriminating people based on their bloodline – something that is our of their control. So, by the same argument, it would be wrong to judge and discriminate people based on the house they were sorted into; to put all Slytherins in the same category. I don’t promise to be open minded about everything, I have been told prejudice is a hard thing to shake, but at least for your sake, I want to give the Slytherins a chance. Well,...just some of them, because I don’t think I can tolerate the likes of Mulciber, even for your sake.”

Severus couldn’t believe what he was hearing. It was like he had stepped into another reality. “Who are you and what have you done to my best friend?” Severus said with mock suspicion.

“She is right here, she just realized she had not been acting like a best friend and that it was high time that she do it correctly.”

Not knowing how to respond to such a answer, Severus said. “Thank you. I really appreciate it. Everything. And I promise you I will do my best, as well. But….I really cannot believe that you have changed so much in three week.”

“Well, its sparks started more than three weeks ago, but I told you, in these three weeks, I introspected like there was no tomorrow. Also, someone helped me greatly in seeing things from another angle and understand a lot of things.”

“Who?”

“That….is a surprise. In the first chance we get, I want to introduce her to you.”

“I would like to meet someone that has changed your view so much.”

“I think you would like her. She is really nice and wise.”

After that, they made some small talk about the subjects they are taking, how hard or easy they were, what grade they got for a hard homework on potions, and then compared how they approached the question and what their idea was. It was familiar ground and something that they both missed doing. It was in the middle of their discussion that they heard a pop sound and noticed that the table in the dining area is full of plates of food for a dinner for two. They moved to the table and started to eat.

“You know it is convenient to stay in your rooms rather than dorms: You have your personal space, have the bathroom all to yourself, and can even ask the house-elves to serve your food here.”

“Well, technically, after I return to class, I am not allowed to call Tipsy for food and should eat in the Great Hall like other students, or go to kitchens.”

“mmm...but even in that case, it is still better than sharing dorm. Just imagine...you don’t have to cast silencing spell all the time because the people in your dorm snore! But if you are going to stay here….I think you should get something for your room….it is too bare.”

“Dumbledore and I went shopping a few days ago and got some stuff.”

Lily’s eyes lit up. “Can I see you room? I want to see what it looks like now!”

Severus shrugged. “Okay.”

They talked a little more as they ate and when they were finished, they went to Severus’ room. As they entered, Severus made his way toward his nightstand and took his potions, while Lily looked around at the furniture and decoration.”

“I like what you have done to the place. This style of white-navy looks great with stone walls and dark wood of furniture. And I like how you decorated. It looks comfortable….inviting, and at the same time very practical. I didn’t know you had such a talent for interior design. If you didn’t like a career in potion, you can pursue one in interior design.”

“Ha ha ha” Severus said sullenly.

“I am serious! Can’t you even accept a compliment from me?” Lily said incensed.

Severus who regretted his reaction, tried to make amend. “Sorry. And anyway, it may not come to that. Remind me to tell you later about my talk with Dumbledore about my career. For now come here.” He said as he stood beside his walk-in closet.

Lily came and looked questioningly at him. “Open it.” He motioned toward it.

“You want me to look inside your wardrobe?!” Lily said with doubt.

“Go ahead. Look.”

Lily still looked like Severus has lost his mind, but complied. She slowly opened the closet and looked inside. The next moment her eyes widened and she stepped inside. “No way! It is a walk-in closet! You have a walk-in closet?!” She said excitedly as she came out and looked at the outside of the closet. “From outside it looks normal. It is even the same size as my wardrobe back home!” She stepped inside again and started to look at the space inside, all the shelves and drawers.

Severus tried to hid his smile. Lily’s excitement was always contagious, but in this case, Severus knew exactly how she felt – he may or may not have had a similar reaction, of course, with more dignity and self-control – when his closet were delivered and he stepped inside it for the first time.

A few minutes later, Lily poked her head out of the closet and said. “Did I tell you how much I love magic? It is just so efficient. If you wanted to have a walk-in closet in the muggle world, you had to give up a lot of space of the room to built one, but here? It takes the same space as a small wardrobe.” she stepped out and sat down on the chase with sigh of contentment. After a few moments, her expression turned sad. “You know despite being here for five years, sometimes I still cannot believe it. It is just like another world. One that I don’t know exactly how to navigate and how to live in it. And there are so many people saying I don’t belong here, and sometimes….sometimes I believe them. But I cannot return to muggle world, either. You know, Tuney is starting college. I don’t even have a school diploma. What I can do there? Sometimes I feel like I am stuck between two worlds, belonging to neither.” Then she looked up at Severus and shook her head. “Sorry, I don’t know where that came from.”

“No, don’t apologize. We promised to talk and this is exactly it.” Then he sat down beside Lily and after a moment of hesitation took her hand in his. “You belong to both worlds and it does not matter whether it is a healer certification or a school diploma, if you put your mind to it, you will achieve it. You can do anything you want. You are brilliant like that. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, whether it is Tuney or my housemates.”

Lily expression brightened. This...this was exactly what had been missing from her life: her best friend, Severus. She scrunched her face and pinched Severus’ cheek lightly. “And you are sweet. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise….including yourself.”

Severus mock frowned and pushed her hand away, but his twitched up lips and blushing cheeks gave him away – though he would deny that the later happened until his last breath.

~~oOo~~

Albus Dumbledore was responding to some ministry’s letters, when Lily came out of the headmaster’s quarters and with a ‘good night’ left the office. She and Severus were talking for a few hours and things seemed to be going well for them. One hour after Lily’s arrival, Albus decided to check on them. After all, who knows what the reunion of two emotional teenagers may lead to. But when he opened the door to the quarters, he could hear them speaking in the living area, so he decided to leave them to it – he may or may not have listened to their conversation….a little….and no, he was not going to call it eavesdropping.

He was glad that things worked out well, since that meant that he had one less thing to worry about. If only making Severus change his mind about joining Tom was that easy. Things would have been much easier if Severus had consented to a re-sorting. Albus would have made sure that the hat would sort Severus elsewhere. He even had a list of sixth and seventh year students in each house that could befriends Severus. With a completely new environment, it would have been much easier to discourage Severus from pursuing this path he was taking. In any case, Severus did not consent. But it was okay, since Albus had predicted this result and had prepared for it. Now, with Severus being a Slytherin, it would be harder to surround him with the type of friends that Albus wanted. However, Albus was determined to save Severus – if not for Severus’ sake, then for the sake of Wizarding world; because someone with Severus’ talent and skill, and Severus’ background could do a lot of damage on the wrong side of the war.

For now he would wait and watch how Slytherins would react to Severus’ return and him being Albus’ ward. Then, if necessary, he will take further actions. Yes, he will wait. After all, there was no reason to incense Minerva again so soon. Her words form that morning was still ringing in his ear:

“Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, can you – for once in your life – take the direct approach to solve a problem rather than going behind everyone’s back and manipulating them to do what you want?! Severus is not one of the politicians in the ministry, he is your ward!”

Yes, he will wait….for now.

Chapter Text

It was Sunday night. Severus after eating his dinner, went back to his room to make sure he was ready for tomorrow. He looked again at his schedule. He had a double transfiguration class first thing in the morning, which meant Lily was going to be there. However, it also meant that most of the people who he didn’t want to meet, were going to be there, as well; namely the Marauders and Malciber and some of his gang. It made Severus nervous.

After Dumbledore tricked him into staying in his rooms, Severus thought long and hard about how to justify it to his housemates. How to cement his new position in Slytherin hierarchy without alienating everyone. He had even came up with a plan to achieve it, but the issue with the whole thing was the presence of the bloody Marauders. If those idiots decided to intervene and undermine Severus as they usually do, then the whole thing would backfire. However, Marauders were an issue that he had to deal with for five years and had not yet found a permanent solution for. So there was nothing he could do about it, he will just have to deal with it as he always does: rolling through punches, sometimes even literally.

Needing something to occupy his mind with, he checked his school bag again and made sure he had got all his books and other supplies, including the assignment he had to hand in tomorrow in class and his potions. Having checked that he went to check everything else. He looked at his school robes – brand new for the first time. In a way, he felt like he was a first year student, what with the brand new everything and the nervousness. Not having anything else to do, he started to think about different scenarios tomorrow. Lily promised to meet him tomorrow early morning in front of kitchen. They planned to eat their breakfast here and spend some time walking outside, as this would be Severus’ first time going out – their shopping spree not counting, since they spent most of the time inside one shop of another. That part was something that Severus was actually looking forward to. The main problem was when they went to the class. Would anyone even notice or recognize him? He unconsciously ran his hand through his hair, which was clean and soft. At first, he wanted to cut it in the same length and style he usually did, but for some reason he decided not to – maybe now that he felt a little differently about himself, he wanted a physical manifestation of it; like he needed to look like a different person. If only he could change his name and everything else as simply as his hair style.

A pop and appearance of Skippy saved him from spiraling down.

“Headmaster wants to see you in his office, Young Master.”

“I told you to just call me Severus. I will go see him now.”

Not knowing what the purpose of this night time meeting was, Severus made his way toward the Headmaster office. Entering the room, he saw Dumbledore sitting in one of the armchairs in front of the fireplace in his office, sipping tea.

“Come Severus, sit down. Have some tea and biscuits”

Sitting down, Severus poured tea for himself and looked expectantly at Dumbledore. Dumbledore, pretending to not have noticed continued to drink his tea with biscuit. There was a minute of silence. Just when Severus’ patience reached its end and opened his mouth, Dumbledore said. “These biscuits are really good.”

“Somehow I doubt that’s the reason you called me here.”

“Why? Can’t I want to share a tasty snack with my ward?” Looking at Severus’ frowning face, he amended. “Drink your tea, Severus. I will explain while you are enjoying the tea and biscuit.”

Seeing that Dumbledore was not going to continue, he did as he was told. Picking up a biscuits, he took a bite – it was indeed delicious. He blew on his tea and took a sip only to spit it out at Dumbledore’s next words.

“I called you to just let you know that there is a possibility that some of your housemates and other students might be aware of some of the details of your abuse and suicide case.”

“What?” Severus asked dumbly.

“I tried to keep all the information confidential and even to give proper incentive to people involved to not let things from getting out. However, as you can imagine, the fact that I accepted the guardianship of a student has attracted a lot of attention at the ministry. So while I am confident that the cases were not revealed, some of the details have spread as rumors.”

Severus put down his cup. “And you are telling me this only now?”

“It is not an important matter.”

“Not important?! How half the school knowing about my private life is not a big deal?”

Dumbledore sighed and said. “As I mentioned, it is only rumors.”

“You don’t know that!”

“Not for sure, no, but as I’ve said I am confident that is the case. Even if it is not, you can say it is, because there would be no way they can prove otherwise. That is actually why I am telling you, so that if anyone mentioned anything, you won’t be caught off guard. However, I expect it would be some time before the words spread that you are my ward, as I did all I could to keep your name out.”

Severus hided his face in his hands, feeling a headache coming. This made things even worse. It could mean anything between ‘his plan will go smoothly and get the desired result’ and ‘it is going to be a disaster’. Why did Dumbledore always do this to him? Did he enjoy pulling the rug from right under him?

~~oOo~~

Severus got up the next morning feeling exhausted. He tossed and turned in bed the whole night. The little he slept was filled with nightmares.

Once, he dreamed of the incident by the lake, only this time the whole school was there laughing at the scars and bruises Tobias left him. His other dream was similar to a dream he saw before: a hooded figure stood before him and belittled him, its face and voice alternated between his father, Lucius, Dumbledore, and Lily. All the while Potter and Black were dancing with a transformed werewolf Lupin in the background, and Pattigrew and some of the Slytherins were singing a song about the full moon.

He did his morning routine quickly and left his rooms after one last check on the content of his bag. The headmaster office was empty thankfully, so Severus exited the room and quickly made his way toward the kitchen. It was early, so there was no one in the hallways which Severus was thankful for. The last thing he needed right now was an encounter when he was not ready. One of the reasons that Lily and he decided on eating breakfast in the kitchens and taking a walk before the class, was for Severus to prepare himself mentally for the classes – even though a voice in his mind kept telling him that he never will be ready.

When he reached the kitchen and saw Lily waiting beside the entrance, he felt the knot in his stomach loosen. The images from his dream of Lily laughing at him along with the whole school and Lily belittling him vanished. For the first time since he woke up he felt he could face the school today....because she would be there.

As he neared, Lily turned to face him and her beautiful eyes lit up when they made contact with his. The corner of Severus’ lips involuntarily twitched up and he fastened his pace to reach her.

“Morning Severus!”

“Good morning.”

“Did something happen? You look tired.”

“Nothing important, just didn’t sleep last night. Let’s go in.”

They went in and sat down at one of the tables. Soon the house elves brought breakfast for them and they started to eat. As they ate, Lily kept poking at Severus, until Severus caved in and told her about his conversation with Dumbledore.

“Maybe the headmaster didn’t tell you earlier to not make you worry.”

“And dumping it on my head the night before makes me worry less?”

“No, but I know you. If he told you last week, then you would have worried about it the whole week and instead of one sleepless night, you would be insomniac the entire week.”

It was an accurate assessments, but what he could not tell Lily was that during that one week he could have came up with several plan and counter measure on how to deal with any backlash the leaked information might cause.

After breakfast, they took a walk outside the castle. Although Severus had gotten a lot stronger over the last month, he still did tire after walking for a time, so when they reached the lake, he suggested they sit a little before going back. They found a large stone and after removing the snow, they both sat down and looked at the frozen lake and the snow white forest in the distance. Severus unconsciously started to finger his coat. This was the first time in his life that he was enjoying a winter scenery this much, because usually he was too cold in his threadbare cloths to have time to look around much and enjoy the scenery – after all there was only so much that a warming spell could do.

They sat there in silence for some time, just enjoying the fresh air and scenery, and reveling in each other’s presence. It had been quite some time since they just spent some time together...without any fights about their housemates or other things. They made sure that they left the lakeside early enough to miss the bulk of students going to breakfast and made their way toward the transfiguration class, without coming across many students. Since the door to the classroom was open, they entered and – at Severus’ insistence – sat at the back of the class. Severus tried to prepare himself mentally for the class. This would be the first time in several month that he was in presence of this many people, and even the thought of it made a pit open up in his stomach.

The first people entering the class were a group of three Ravenclaws and two Hufflepuffs who did not pay any attention to Severus and Lily and found some seats for themselves. Lily seeing how nervous Severus was becoming, started to engage him in conversation regarding the latest topic McGonagall had covered and soon, they both had their textbook open and were discussing the details of the theory behind the spell. And that was why both of them missed the next group’s entrance.

~oOo~

James has been worried lately. Lily has been skipping meals lately and from what he had heard from Alice and Mary, she had been disappearing to somewhere during their free periods and weekends, as well. What was even more worrying was that when James checked their map on those occasions, she was nowhere to be seen. Following Remus’ advice, he refrained from directly approaching her and instead sent Remus and the girls to make sure she is okay. From what he heard, she was doing fine, but no one could get a clear answer as to where she kept disappearing. The few times that James saw Lily, she looked fine, if a little withdrawn and spaced out, but now James was thinking that maybe some sort of dark magic was involved, so when he saw that Lily was missing both from the dinner last night and today’s breakfast, he was quite worried. None of the girls in their dormitory had seen her come in last night – she had a patrolling shift with a Ravenclaw – or leave this morning. His only hope was to see her in class – after all Lily never had missed any class these a few weeks. So he was going ahead of Sirius and Remus – who were arguing about something – and Peter who was trailing behind the other two.

Entering the classroom his eyes searched for that fiery red hairs and sure enough found her....sitting at the back of the class. She seemed to be engaged in a discussion with someone – about something related to schoolwork, James guessed, if her frequent pointing to her textbook was any indication. James turned his focus on her companion. It took him a minute to recognize the person. A few blinks and a pinch later, he believed that, no, he was not seeing wrong or dreaming. Snape definitely looked different; His hair was clean...and longer and his cloth looked....new and crisp, which was why James didn’t recognize his immediately. However, there was no mistaking that nose or that hunched posture. What James didn’t understand was that how he was alive and back being friends with Lily. He was trying to come up with an explanation when he heard Sirius’ voice behind him.

“Hey, James, have you fallen sleep in the doorway, or what? What have you seen that has made you so still?” Next moment, he stood beside James and looked in the direction he was looking.

“Ah, so the sight of you lady love together with....what? What is he doing here?” He hissed the last part.

Remus who was looking over their shoulder at the same scene looked behind him and then whispered to them. “Shh...you are blocking the door. Let’s sit down first.” The group made their way toward their usual seats. After sitting down they started to whisper.

“What is he doing here? I thought you said he was dead!” Sirius whispered to James.

“I told you, he was in a bad condition and then his bed was empty. What else could have happened?”

“He was sent to Saint Mungo’s?” Peter said uncertainly.

“If they wanted to take him there, then why did they bring him to Hogwarts in the first place and kept him there for days?”

“Now that you mention it, it was strange that they did not take him there.” Remus said thoughtfully.

“Who knows? What matters is that he is alive and now we need to decide what we need to do!” Sirius said with a gleam in his eyes.

“Nothing. Remember that night we thought he died? I said we can start by leaving him alone. We put the thought aside, since we thought he was dead, but now that we know he isn’t, how about we start with just leaving him be?” Remus’ tone was suggestive, but the gleam in his eyes showed an inner anger; the only sign that Sirius was not completely forgiven for what he had done last year.

Sirius tried to cover his unease at Remus’ reaction with a nonchalant shrug. “I don’t have any problem with doing that, it is James who can’t.”

James whose eyes had unconsciously gone to the topic of their discussion, turned sharply toward Sirius. “What? Why can’t I?”

“Well, after all Snape is back being two peas in a pod with your lady love.”

James looked at Lily and Snape, again. Yes, it – indeed – seemed that they were back being friends. However, James did not feel the resentment he felt before. Maybe the fact that Snape was alive had not sunk in yet, because he still could feel the guilt he had felt this last month for separating the two friends. The same guilt which stopped him from asking Lily out again.

It was a feeling James didn’t want to feel ever again. So, he decided there and then that he wants to do things differently: He will win Lily over fair and square. He will not use the same methods as before. Snape was no match for him anyway. Having made up his mind, he turned to Sirius and said. “Nah, it is fine. Snape is no threat to me. So they being friends doesn’t matter.”

Of course, being friends with Lily was not the only reason that Snape was their favorite target and James never said that he would leave Snape alone. But they have time for that later, after all, Sirius and him need to plan their prank carefully....to make sure that neither Lily nor Remus would find out about it.

In the next moment, Alice and Mary, Lily’s friends sat in the row in front of them and immediately turned to them. 

“Who is that Lily is sitting with?”

Even though they knew who Mary was talking about, they all turned to check again, because sure Snape looked different, but not that different for Alice and Mary to not recognize him. Although, in their defense, the Maraudars has seen Snape’s ugly face a lot more than either of them – and it still took James a minute to recognize him.

“It is Snape.” Sirius said simply.

“Snape? Wow, he looks different. He sure cleaned up well.” Alice said with a small smile.

“I can care less about how groomed he is. What I want to know is that what is Lily doing being friends with him again? I thought she had washed her hands of him! Or maybe she did, but Snape had used some sort of dark magic on her.” Her face darkened at the thought.

James and Sirius shared a look and looked at the two sitting at the back. It surprised both of them that none of them had thought about dark magic being involved. Thinking about their options, James catch the expression on Remus’ face and knew what they needed to do. “We will talk with McGonagall after class about this.”

This plan was satisfactory for everyone and they returned to their own discussion, while they still stole glances at the pair in the back of the glass. That was how they missed the entrance of two group of Slytherins both of which ignored the rest and sat in their seats. Not soon after McGonagall entered the class and the class started.

When the class started, Severus took a moment to survey the class and breathed a sigh of relief. He was not sure whether it was because he looked different or not, but it seemed both the group of Slytherins – Mulciber and his cronies – and the Maraudars had not noticed him. It was not that much of surprise that Malciber and his friends had not noticed him; after all neither him nor Lily were the kind of people who those Slytherins would pay attention to. However, it was weird that Potter and Black did not make a scene, because even if Severus looked so different he was unrecognizable – he was not, not really – still the fact that Lily was sitting with someone they didn’t know should have been enough for them to come over and make a scene. Come to think of it, the same could be said about Lily’s girlfriends who Severus could see were sitting with Maraudars.

Whatever the reason, Severus was thankful for his current peace. So he decided to put the thought aside to contemplate later and tried to listen to McGonagall’s explanation.

The theoretical part of the class was over soon and they were given their feather duster to start the transfiguration. Lily, in a fit of Lily-wise impulsivity, suggested for them to compete and see which one of them can turn their feather duster to ferret faster.

Severus usually had reservations about participating in such behavior in class, but today he was grateful, and readily accepted. As McGonagall’s lecture had progressed, Severus found concentrating harder and harder. He was aware that he had not been in presence of this many people for a long time, but he didn’t think that it would affect him this much. They were not even looking at him and yet....he felt claustrophobic....just because they were there. So by the time the practical part of class started, Severus was ready to do anything to distract himself from his situation.

He had to ask Lily to explain some parts of the theory that he missed due to his near panic. Lily gave him a concerned look, but then started to help him. Soon after they both started their transfiguration. As usual Lily’s excitement was contagious and Severus was soon completely engaged in their competition, working on his transfiguration, all the while keeping an eye on Lily’s progress. While they were competing, it was a friendly competition, so Lily corrected his pronunciation of the spell by referencing McGonagall’s explanation about theory and Severus corrected her wand movements. Their competition was interrupted by McGonagall’s voice.

“Mr. Potter, that is an excellent transfiguration. Well done! 5 points to Gryffindor.”

Severus and Lily shared a look which said ‘duh’ and again concentrated on their work, whispering about their difficulties with the transfiguration and sharing ideas about how to solve them.

Their competition soon came to an end when both of them – at the same time – transfigured their feather duster successfully. They both stayed in stunned silence, looking at Severus’ transfiguration. Lily had always been rather good at transfiguration, so it was no surprise that her ferret looked great. In contrast, Severus had always struggled in transfiguration. He was usually one of the last people who managed to do his transfiguration in class and while their quality could be considered decent, they never looked this good. Severus personally believed it was due to McGonagall’s help who went over the materials from previous years with Severus and explained the parts he had problem with. He shared a proud look with Lily and seeing her grin made the corner of his lips twitch up, as well. However, his happiness was short lived as McGonagall’s voice rang out around the class.

“Mr. Snape, that is a great transfiguration! You have done well with the details, you too, Miss. Evans. 5 points to Slytherins and Gryffindors each.”

If it was any other time, Severus would have enjoyed the proud look on McGonagall’s face and basked in her praises. However, at that time the only thing he could think about was that the whole class was looking at them; at him. He planned to go unnoticed for as long as possible, but McGonagall may as well have put him on a stage with lights shining on him. Severus felt the walls were closing on him. It was not the first time he was the center of the attention – and usually it meant he was in a humiliating situation. But for the first time in his life, Severus felt like he couldn’t breath properly. His mind kept repeating that the last thing he needs is to breakdown in front of everyone because McGongall praised him. So with astronomical willpower he managed to say. “Thank you, Professor.”

His voice was smaller than he intended and he saw McGonagall’s brow coming down in a frown, but thankfully she didn’t say anything else and made her way to the front of the class. And while the Ravenclaws and some of the Hufflepuffs turned back to their work, the rest were staring at him and whispering. And it made Severus’ panic rising to a new level and a buzzing sound filled his ears. Just as Severus felt he had lost control and is going to have a breakdown, a calming hand tugged on his arm. He turned and came face to face with Lily’s concerned green eyes; And it felt like a blanket has fallen on his thoughts, smothering the flames of panic. Severus tried to concentrate on his best friend and forget everything else. Her hand on his arm was warm and it was grounding. He looked at her and saw that she was speaking. He tried to push through the buzzing in his ears and concentrated on her voice and after a few moments, her words, together with the sound of the whole classroom rushed in:

“Severus, Severus, are you alright? What is wrong?” Lily was whispering. Severus noticed he was panting and tried to control his breathing. After a few moments, he replied.

“I’m fine.” Seeing Lily’s unconvinced look, he said. “I’m fine now. I’ll explain after class.” Lily nodded and looked at the clock to check the time, but she did not remove her hand from his arm and he was thankful even though he would never admit it. As Severus was getting his bearings, he discretely looked around. Thankfully, it seemed that the class – both students and the teacher – missed his little episode and since Lily was whispering, she did not attract any attention , as well. When the class time was over, Lily put her stuff in her bag quickly – together with any of Severus’ stuff that Severus had yet to put in his bag. Then she took Severus’ hand and before he could say anything or object, dragged him toward the exit. They needed to talk and they needed privacy for that. Since it was lunch time, they actually had enough time for that.

~~oOo~~

James could not believe what he heard. Since when had Snape became so good at transfiguration? Was it possible that it was not actually Snape, but an impostor? That would definitely explain the perfect transfiguration – and his clean and pristine appearance. No one, no matter how much they tried, could replicate Snape’s appearance. Maybe he could tell McGonagall about his suspicions, as well, because it would mean that Lily is in even more danger. Maybe, it would be too late by then. He should go over to their desk with some excuse and investigate. He was about to – accidentally – throw his quill toward the back of the class, when Remus’ hand came down on it, holding it in place. It was surprising that James had not even noticed Remus move. Remus did not say anything, but the look in his eyes was enough to dissuade him. Remus did a minute shake of his head for emphasize and then removed his hand and turned to his half-transfigured feather duster.

James tried to occupy himself with helping Sirius and especially Peter with their transfiguration, but his mind kept circling back to the two people sitting at the back of the class. When the class ended, James was ready to confront Snape-impostor, only to see him – literally – getting dragged out of the class by Evans.

A quick look around showed that he was not the only one who was looking at the departing pair. The other Maraudars, Lily’s friends, the Slytherins, some of the Ravenclaws sitting near the door, and even McGonagall were looking. It made him even more sure about his suspicions.

With a look at his friends, they together with Alice and Mary collected their stuff and after making sure that the Slytherins had left the classroom, all six of them made their way toward McGongall’s desk.

Minerva was not sure what to think of Severus’ reaction to her praise. There was something going on and she intended to ask him to stay behind to talk to him about it. However, before she even opened her mouth, Lily dragged him out of the class. She was sure that Lily had noticed his reaction, and if she knew one thing about Lily, it was that she won’t give up until she got to the bottom of it. So, it seemed that Severus was in good hands. She will talk with Severus later, but currently it seemed that her lions needed her.

They all gathered around her desk. They looked nervous and worried. “Has something happened?”

“Professor, we think someone has casted a dark spell on Lily.” Alice started.

“Someone?” Mary looked at Alice like she had sprouted two heads. She then turned to Minerva and said. “Professor, Snape had used dark magic on Lily. Why else would she be friends with him again? We told her so many times to ditch that slimy Slytherin and she finally did it last year and now suddenly she is back being friends with him!”

“Well, I am not sure about Snape casting a dark spell on her, but it is true that Lily has not been acting like herself recently.” Remus said uncertainly.

“Do we even know that it is actually Snape?” every head swirled to look at James in shock. “I mean Snape never been this good at transfiguration and you all mentioned that he looks different. Who says that he is not just an impostor?”

‘This is getting ridiculous’ Minerva thought to herself. And it seemed that the others were actually considering this latest theory. ‘Time to put a stop to it’. Sirius opened his mouth, but Minerva beat him to it.

“Mr. Potter, I can assure you that there is no impostor involved. That person is Mr. Snap.” Turning to Mary, she continued. “Also, I am certain no dark magic has been cast on Miss. Evans to make her become friends with Mr. Snape, again. If you want to know why she is being friends with him, you have to ask her, but do remember that you have no right to tell Miss. Evans who she can or cannot be friends with. You can share your concerns and opinion with her, but in the end it is her decision and as her friends you need to respect that.”

“But professor, Snape is a Slytherin and they all hate muggleborns. Snape has clearly ulterior motives for being friend with Lily. What if he hurts her?” Alice said.

“It is not true that all Slytherins hate muggleborns, after all there are muggleborns in Slytherin, as well.”

“What?”

“How can that be?”

They were all shocked by this revelation, and Minerva took the chance to make her next point. “That is true and since Mr. Snape is friend with Ms. Evans, doesn’t that mean that he actually doesn’t hate muggleborns, as well?”

“But he is part of the group of Slytherins who harass muggleborns.”

“I see why you came to the conclusion that he hates muggleborns and wants to hurt Lily, but can you think of another explanation why would he want to be part of such a group when he is friend with a muggleborn?”

They shared a glance at the strange question, but none of them said anything. After a few moments, Remus caught on what she was saying and said. “That way he will have their protection and....” His eyes widened at the realization. “He can protect Lily from them, as well.”

Minerva nodded in assent. “Professor, are you saying that is why Snape is friend with those nasty Slytherins?”

“What I am saying is that none of you actually know Mr. Snape, since I doubt any of you ever held a conversation with him.” She gave a pointed look to Maraudars, then continued. “So it would be prudent to refrain from making any assumption about him and his reasoning.”

They did not look convinced, but they did not protest, either. So Minerva continued. “Is there any other concern you want to share with me?”

They shared another glance which Minerva could not decipher, then James said. “No, Professor.” They turned and left the classroom. After they left, Minerva let out a sigh. She knew that this was an issue that Severus and Lily need to take care of on their own. She could not fight this battle for them, but she hoped that she had helped them a little. She was not sure, but she really hoped that her lions would at least think about what she said. If Albus was right, things were about to get worse – and maybe even a war might be on horizon – and this kind of extreme thinking is exactly the fuel for the flame of conflict. Minerva was self-aware enough to see that they – the professors and staff – were partly to blame for this conflict in school – Severus’ case was a clear evidence of that. However, she was going to do her best to change that. She even planned a meeting with other professors to discuss this matter.

Chapter Text

After existing the classroom, the six of them started to speak as they made their way toward Great Hall.

“How can she not believe us!” Mary said angrily.

“What if what she said is true through?” Remus said calmly.

“I think we first need to talk with Lily about it.” Alice continued.

“What if it would be too late by then? What if Snape had hurt her?” James asked.

“He is right! We need to do something!” Mary agreed.

Remus opened his mouth to try to calm them down, but Alice beat him to it. “What exactly can we do? Corner Snape and ask?....What do you think will happen? He will admit he used dark magic on her and tell us how to remove it? Have you thought that maybe pushing Snape might make him retaliate by hurting Lily?” The other looked surprised, obviously not having thought of that. There was a few moments of silence as they thought about that implication.

“So what are you suggesting?” Sirius asked at last.

“We will keep an eye on them and the first chance we get, we will talk to Lily.” After thinking a little more, she continued. “Also, if we read about potions or spells that can control or affect the mind, then we can check to see if Lily is exhibiting any those symptoms.”

When they reached Great Hall, they noticed that–unsurprisingly–neither Lily nor Snape were  there. They sat near the end of Gryffindor table and started to chat as they ate their lunch. It was agreed that they would keep an eye on Lily during their next class–Herbology–and try to talk to her after class. When they were almost done, Peter looked nervously in his bag and stood up hastily.

“I forgot my Herbology textbook and my notes.”

“You can use our textbook and your notes are usually garbage, anyways.” Sirius said dismissively.

“So is ours.” James interjected.

“Exactly! Which is why we always use Remus’ notes.”

Remus gave a disapproving look to Sirius and James before turning to Peter. “Go get your textbook and notes, just hurry! There is not that much time until class starts.” 

Peter gave a grateful look to Remus before dashing toward the exit. The others chatted a bit before standing up to make their next class.

~~oOo~~

The first thing Markus Malciber did after exiting the Transfiguration classroom was to shake his entourage–mainly Brodric Slade and Gorran Blunt–by making an excuse and making his way toward owlery to send a letter to his parents. He knew that when he couldn’t find any info on Snape before, his parents paid the price. Being the first who sent any info about Snape meant his parent will get rewarded. Slade and Blunt were stupid fools, it would probably take them some time to think about reporting the situation to their parents.

Afterwards, he went to Great Hall to grab a bite and get Slade and Blunt. He is sure that when he woke up this morning, Snape was not in their dorm and that the last bed in their dorm was empty. That meant Snape was staying somewhere else and he was going to find out where, starting from the Slytherin dormitory. It was possible that Snape was staying in another dorm to avoid them. They will make sure that Snape paid for everything he put them through, but in order to do so, they first need to find out where he is staying at night and then plan accordingly.

~~oOo~~

Severus didn’t know what had gotten into Lily, but she dragged him all the way from Transfiguration classroom to the seventh floor. At first he thought she is dragging him to Gryffindor common rooms–and was internally considering Lily’s sanity or lake thereof–but when they passed the portrait of fat lady, Severus was utterly lost. As far as he knew there was nothing of importance in that part of the castle. If Lily was looking for an empty classroom or storage, then they probably passed at least twenty of those on their way. His confusion was multiplied as suddenly Lily let go of his hand and started to pace back and forth in the middle of the corridor.

“Lily–” Severus started, but was interrupted by Lily.

“Sshh....Let me concentrate.”

‘on what?’ he wanted to retort, but stopped himself just in time to see a door appear on the wall closest to Lily.

“Wha–” He didn’t get to finish as Lily got a hold of his wrist and dragged him inside.

The room was nothing like Severus expected. The walls and the floor we from wood. The walls were covered in bookshelves from floor to ceiling. There was a sitting area in front of a fireplace. The whole room looked very inviting and cozy. Lily lets his hand go and made her way toward the sofa in front of the fireplace. Severus followed her and sat down beside her.

“Okay, now tell me what is going on?”

“What do you mean?”

Lily gave him an unimpressed look and said. “What was going on with you in the class! Don’t say you don’t know what I mean!”

Severus shrugged and said. “I don’t know.”

“Severus!” Lily burst out, frustrated.

“What? I don’t know what happened! I really don’t! One moment I was fine, the next I felt I couldn’t breath.”

Lily looked at him with concern. “Do you want to go to hospital wing? We should ask Madam Pomfrey to check you over.”

“No, I’m fine now. And she examined me just yesterday. I don’t think anything happened since then to make something like this happen.”

“Then why do think it happened?”

“I told you, I don’t know. One moment I was there with everyone staring at me and then I couldn’t breath.”

“I believe you were fright-taken.” They whipped their heads around toward fireplace; more specifically toward the portrait hanging above it.

Severus stood up angrily and said. “Has no one told you that you shouldn’t eavesdrop on other people’s private conversation!? You–” He stopped as he felt Lily gripping his arm firmly and pulled him back.

“Severus! Don’t be rude!”

“She is the rude one! She is the one who came uninvited and eavesdropped!”

“Well, technically, I invited her.”

“What? What do you mean? When did you invite her?” Severus asked, confused.

“I will explain later. First, let me do the introductions,” She turned to the portrait and said. “This is Severus, the friend I talked to you about.” Hearing the last part, Severus turned sharply toward Lily, but before he could say anything, she continued. “And Severus, this is Helga Hufflepuff, one of the founders of Hogwarts!” Lily seemed on edge with excitement, wanting to see Severus’ reaction.

Severus looked at Helga in shock, before he looked away in embarrassment. The last thing he expected was for the person he just exploded on to be one of the founders. After a few moments of silence, he muttered. “Still....you shouldn’t have eavesdropped.”

Helga chuckled. “I do apologize. Since I was invited, I didn’t consider you were having a private conversation.”

Severus was getting redder from embarrassment, so Lily decided to change the subject. “You said Severus was fright-taken? What is that?”

“It is a phenomenon where people who had gone through a traumatic events, sometimes feel they cannot breath without any physical reason. What actually triggers it differ from person to person and is probably dependent on what that traumatic event is.”

Lily glanced at Severus who was staring mulishly at fireplace. Lily turned back to Helga and said. “How we can make sure it doesn’t happen again?”

“I don’t know. Wizarding world had always shied away from studying and dealing with ailments of mind and as a result people would prefer to hid their mental ailments than discuss it or even getting help for it.”

~~oOo~~

When Maraudars–minus Peter–and Alice and Mary got to greenhouses, there was still no sign of Snape or Lily. They shared a look and sat at one of the places which gave them a clear view of the entrance. Later, they were joined by Peter and chatted among themselves, all the while keeping an eye on the entrance.

Right before Sprout, the Herbology professor, entered the class, Snape and Lily dashed in and sat at the first empty space they saw. They were chatting with each other, not aware of the eyes trained on them. No matter how long they stared at their subjects of observation, the six Gryffindors could not find any thing strange about Lily’s behavior or any indication that she was being mind controlled. She seemed relaxed and there was a spark of happiness in her eyes that was always present during their first years, but they rarely seen in the last two years. From time to time, she sent a look at her companion that they could interpret as concern for him, but nothing more than that.

As for Snape, he mostly had a neutral expression, but he seemed as engaged in their discussion as Lily was. Admittedly, he looked less surly than before, but that might be just because of his clean and put-together appearance. When the time for the class was over, Mary was the first one out of her chair, trying to catch Lily before they left and completely ignoring her companions. The others shared a look and scrambled after her.

~~oOo~~

Everything considered, Lily had one of her best school days in recent years. After transfiguration, Severus and Lily spend their lunch period in room of requirement. Talking about everything from their school work to their plan for the future–or lack thereof–with inputs from Helga from time to time. Despite Severus’ behavior in their first meeting, he soon started to warm up to her, especially when he found out that it was Helga who had changed Lily’s perspective on certain matters. They had their lunch in peace while discussing a theory of potion making. It had been a long time since she had seen Severus so relaxed, with his passion for potion making shining through. They continued their discussion on the way to Herbology and throughout the class, with interruptions in form of short discussions on how to take care of the plant in front of them. Lily wished things could stay that way, but at the end of the class, their bubble burst and they were returned to reality.

“Lily, we need to talk.” They turned around, and there she was–Mary–standing over them, like an ominous angel of vengeance. The others were standing behind her, like a wall, separating Lily from freedom.

Knowing exactly where this was going, Lily tried to delay it. “Can it wait? Severus and I were going to the library to check a book on potions.”

“No, it can’t. It is important!” As she said it, she moved forward to grasp at Lily’s hand.

Evading her grip, Lily said. “Fine! At least let me get my things!” While she was putting her stuff in her bag, she turned toward Severus. “Severus, I’m sorry. Let’s meet tomorrow at the library to check that book.”

Severus didn’t reply, but there was a spark in his eyes, like he found it all amusing. A glance told her he was wishing her good luck, but also thinking she was doomed–and there was a good chance she wouldn’t resurface from Gryffindor tower tomorrow. And as much as Lily wanted to deny it, it was exactly how she felt.

Just before exiting the greenhouse–marched out by her housemates–Lily turned and exchanged a look with Severus. She was only going to talk with her friends, so why did it feel like she was walking to her execution?

~~oOo~~

Malciber scouted the whole dorm, but there was no sign of Snape’s tattered trunk or any of his other stuff. He would have assumed Snape bought a new trunk, except no one had seen him enter or exit the common rooms. He even checked with some of the portraits in the corridor leading to the common rooms–since Snape would have had to pass through there–but still, nothing. It was possible that Snape was coming and going at times when the portraits were asleep, but Malciber bet he was staying elsewhere. After talking to some other Slytherins, they decided the next course of action would be to follow Snape and find out where he was staying.

~~oOo~~

Severus watched as Lily was marched out of the greenhouse. They both knew they had to find a way to deal with their friends, but while Severus had spent hours coming up with plan after plan, Lily seemed to have decided to just ignore the issue. And though he knew this was a problem that had caused conflict in their friendship before, he couldn’t help but be amused by Lily’s reaction—like she was about to be executed. Maybe it was because, this time, he felt secure in the knowledge that Lily wanted their friendship as much as he did.

~~oOo~~

The group of six made their way toward the castle. Lily was vaguely aware that Pettigrew and Black separated from them at the second floor–they had some class but she was too anxious to pay much attention to what was going on around her. The rest who had a free period, made their way toward Gryffindor tower. They left the boys in the common rooms and made their way toward their dorm.

Entering their dorm, Lily moved toward her bed. She put her bag at the foot of it and sat down, facing her friends. When they didn’t immediately start, Lily took a deep breath to push her nervousness aside, crossed her arms, and said, “So? What was so important that you needed to talk to me now?”

It seemed that was all Mary needed to start. “Why are you so chummy with Snape again? Didn’t you ditch him at the end of last year?”

Lily took a calming breath. Now she needed to explain herself about Severus. “Severus and I talked about a lot of things, including what happened at the end of last year, and decided to make up.”

“Decided to make up? Just like that? Have you forgotten what he called you? Have you forgotten what kind of person he is–and the group of people he calls friends?”

“I haven’t forgotten what he called me! But, as I said, we talked about it. He apologized, and I decided to forgive him.” Despite trying to remain calm, Lily’s temper was rising.

“So he just said sorry and you were fooled into forgiving him!? Do you hear yourself, Lily? What about all the other things you said last year? You said he was a lost cause! Have you forgotten your own words?”

“No, I haven’t! But I misjudged him. That was my mistake, and I already have apologized to Severus for it–and he accepted it.” 

“Unbelievable! So gracious of him! I can’t believe these words are coming out of your mouth! Have you forgotten what kind of person he is?”

“No–I had before. I forgot what a good friend and a good person he is....I let the house rivalries, and your comments about him get to me and I forgot what sort of person he was, but I will not make that mistake again!”

“So he brainwashed you against us! Now we’re the bad people who deceive you!? Don’t let that snake fool you! I don’t understand you at all—how can you believe him over us? Everything we said was for your own good! Why don’t you get it?”

“What!? How can you think something like that?”

“I don’t understand why you’d even want to be friends with that snake! You have us and yet you always do this.....picking him over us! His words over ours!”

“I don’t understand why you’re reacting like this, both you and Severus are my friends—so why are you talking like I can’t be friends with both of you?”

“Because you can’t!! Him and the group of people he hangs out with—they’re the wrong sort! They only mean trouble! Ask anyone in our house—you’ll see they all say the same thing! They’re different from us! They’ll hurt you! We’ve tried so hard to make you understand—why are you being so difficult!?”

That was the breaking point. Lily picked up her bag and said. “Fine! If I have to choose between you and Severus....Then I’ll choose Severus!”

Alice and Mary’s eyes widened in surprise. Lily walked to the door, but before leaving she turned to the others in the dorm. “You asked why I insist on being friends with Severus? Because he’s a great person and a great friend. He’s supportive, he’s kind, and even when things are hard for him, he still makes time to be there for me. He helps me, he encourages me, he listens — and he never makes me feel like my thoughts or feelings don’t matter. He doesn’t make me question how I feel. He doesn’t make me feel stupid or inferior. He doesn’t try to force me to feel, think, or behave the way he wants.

And the thing is… he knows you all don’t like him. He knows people say awful things about him. But not once has he told me to drop you. Not once has he made me choose. That’s what makes the difference: he trusts me to make my own choices.”

Lily took a breath and continued. “You’re my friend, Mary — but if this is what friendship means to you, then I don’t want it. I won’t stay in a friendship where I’m treated like I can’t think for myself, where my choices are constantly questioned, or where I’m forced to pick sides. If you can’t accept that Severus is my friend too… then maybe we’re not friends at all.”

With that, she opened the door and left. Mary stared unbelievable at the closed door for a few moments before she gave a cry of frustration and stomped her way toward the bathroom. Alice pinched the bridge of her nose and said wryly, “Well… that could have gone better.”

~~oOo~~

It had been more than an hour since Lily was escorted out of class. Severus made himself comfortable at a table in the back of the library, expecting to spend at least a few more hours alone. However, just as his thoughts turned to Lily and how she was doing, he saw her sitting in front of him—appearing seemingly out of nowhere. Her eyes and cheeks were red, and her hair was disheveled—but a small, stubborn smile tugged at her lips.

“Still alive and free, I see,” He teased. “How did it go?”

“As well as, can be expected.” she replied, raising an eyebrow at his raised one. “Just short of a disaster.”

Severus said nothing, letting her words hang.

“I fought with my friends. I yelled at them...I broke up with them.” Her hands fluttered toward her face at his alarmed look. “I’m fine.”

Severus’ eyes flicked to her tousled hair and flushed cheeks, then back to her eyes. Lily put her hands to her face and, realizing what she must look like, explained exasperatedly, “We didn’t fight like that! We just argued. Afterward, I went for a short walk around the lake because I was so angry I felt my head would explode if I don’t calm down. The weather was cold and windy—hence…” She gestured to her face and head. “The cold air helped. I’m okay now.”

Severus was silent for a beat. Then, finally: “If you say so.”

“I do! Now—did you find that textbook we wanted to look at?”

Severus let her change the topic and turned the book in front him toward her. “Here — this page explains the process I was talking about.”

And just like that they were back in their discussion, trying to keep their voices down to avoid drawing the librarian’s wrath.