Chapter 1: Account Names
Chapter Text
ACCOUNTS:
Peter Parker (He/Him)
bi-tch@pparker
webslinger@spideyoficial
Harry Osborn (He/They)
h.osborn@harry_osborn
thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
Gwen Stacy (She/They)
future-ceo@thebabysitter
Wade Wilson (He/They/Xe)
nodeathhere@exmerc
Matt Murdock (He/They)
DD@Daredevil
idiot_one@reallygoodlaywer
Foggy Nelson (He/Him)
idiot_two@thehotlawyer
Karen Page (She/Her)
pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
Foggy and Karen’s Shared Account
hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
mod 1: Karen
mod 2: Foggy
Claire Temple (She/Her)
localnurse@drinkuptime
Moon Knight System (He/Him Collectively)
threescompany@themoonsystem
Layla El-Faouly (She/Her)
LayLow@LittleScarab
Tony Stark (He/Him)
Clint Barton (They/He)
Clint.B@ElderHawkeye
Natasha Romanoff (She/Her)
Agent Romanoff@Black Widow
Avengers Account (Ran by Harley Keener (He/They))
Avengers@TheAvengers
Thor (He/They)
THOR@sonofodin
Bucky Barnes (He/Xe)
fiftybelow@WhiteWolf
Steve Rogers (He/Him)
Capsicule@CaptainAmerica
Sam Wilson (He/Him)
Birdman@Falcon
Scott Lang (He/Him)
scottydoesknow@AntMan
Stephan Strange (They/He)
Loki (He/She/They)
Loki(Current Pronouns)@sneksneak
Young Avengers Account (Ran by Elijah Bradley (He/Him))
BetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
Kate Bishop (She/They)
KB@youngerhawkeye
Cassie Lang (They/She)
cass@Stature
America Chavez (She/Her)
Kamala Khan (She/Her)
TheIcon@Ms. Marvel
Harley Keener (He/They)
potato-child@IronLad
Pietro Maximoff (He/Xe)
paintro@quicksilver
Wanda Maximoff (She/Her)
colourtheory@ScarletWitch
Vision (They/Them)
01110110@Vision
Yelena Romanoff (They/She)
coolsister@betterwidow
Bruce Banner (He/Him)
More To Be Added…
Chapter 2: actually this is my tragic backstory
Notes:
i did i painting today in like three hours feeling accomplished
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
webslinger@spideyofficial
what's up little shits, i made a twt account
>h.osborn@harry_osborn
little bitch
>>webslinger@spidyofficial
no u
>>>utah-era@moonsandstars
uhhh is nobody questioning why the actually harry osborn just replied to some spiderman fan account????
>>>>webslinger@spidyofficial
*spider-man and i am not a fan account thank you very much <3
>>>>>I MET SPIDERMAN- ERA???@moonsandstars
WAIT HOLD UPLJDSGJFK
*****
webslinger@spidyofficial
just called dd a whore feeling good
>DD@Daredevil
I am not a whore, I’ve met a few though.
>>webslinger@spidyofficial
*checks notes* nope, says here you are a certified bitch boy, i don’t make the rules i just enforce them
>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
i don’t think you enforce any rules actually
>>>>webslinger@spidyofficial
i came here to have a good time and honestly i’m feeling really attacked right now. i enforce so many rules all the time
>>>>>webslinger@spidyofficial
like two hours ago i said to this guy trying to stab me that it wasn’t a very nice thing to do
>>>>>>DD@Daredevil
Seems like somebody forgot he was still in my replies.
>>>>>>>webslinger@spidyofficial
shit
*****
pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
every single day i regret getting my two idiots together
>future-ceo@thebabysitter
i’ll drink to that
>>bi-tch@pparker
gwen stacy, you are seventeen years old, that better be apple juice >:(
>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
you and harry have aged me ten years. i’m middle aged now take it or leave it
>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
awww you love us though karen
>>pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
i’ll love you again if you can get matt to do his paperwork?
>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
i may be amazing but i cant do miracles
>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
Don’t worry Karen, we still love you even if you don’t say it back.
*****
webslinger@spideyofficial
sometimes it be like “wow, who would have thought it do be hurting”
>macesandtalons@raeishere
you alright spidey?
>>webslinger@spidyofficial
define alright because by my standards this is simple
>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
spidey~ if i find you passed out in a dumpster like an addict i’m going to haul you up into DD’s apartment again
>>nodeathere@exmerc<3
we both don’t want to have to deal with him being all mama bear again
>>>chase(xe/he)@thelightstwinkle
wait @chloewasfound dd being sweet??? my heart????
>>>>localnurse@drinkuptime
i’ve seen it happen when he had me patch spider-man up once, quite terrifying to say the least
>DD@Daredevil
If you bruised your rib again I’m going to lose it.
>>webslinger@spidyofficial
then i will simply not. tell. you.
>>>DD@Daredevil
Yes you will, or else no patrol
>>>>webslinger@spidyofficial
gasppp hypocrite!
>>>>>DD@Daredevil
It’s what I’m best at
*****
bi-tch@pparker
woke up with my name trending, what did i miss
>h.osborn@harry_osborn
nothing dear go back to bed
>>clingyarc@sophiedraws
HE CALLS HIM DEAR???? GFJGHFG
>>nonstop@andrewcantsing
i leave twt for a week and come back to find out harry osborn has a bf??
>>>MBAV S3 [email protected]
andy maybe you should delete it again, it’ll be good for moral
>future-ceo@thebabysitter
I let you two dumbasses out of my sight for two minutes
>>bi-tch@pparker
technically it was three hours but…
>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
nope, no more speaking, speaking privileges are revoked
>>>>bi-tch@pparker
crying in the club @harry_osborn come back me up boo
>>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
lmao no, you dug your grave now lie in it
>salem(he/she)@risingtothetop
@tisbutascratch ANA LOOK AT THIS THEY ARE DATING
>>analove@tisbutascratch
I TOLD YOU - YOU DIDNT BELIEVE ME BUT I WAS RIGHT!!!!
>>>salem(he/she)@risingtothetop
IM SORRY I KNOW
>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
peter get back to bed
>>aca-dex-ic@tinkeringtime
guys what the fuck is deadpool doing here???
*****
idiot_two@thehotlawyer
hahaha why do so many people follow me now?
>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
Because you deserve it.
>>>bi-tch@pparker
omg youre in love we got it blegh
>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
Hypocritical much.
>future-ceo@thebabysitter
its because youre famous now foggy
>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
dont let the fame go to your head
>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
i’m getting paid in baked goods still there’s not gonna be any fame going to my head
*****
reddiestan#1@angel-ica
anyone want to tell me why theres a friend group that is comprised of three highschoolers - one of which is the ceo of oscorp - two lawyers, and a journalist?
>webslinger@spideyofficial
lmao you think they know what they’re doing that’s funny
>>reddiestand#1@angel-ica
SPIDER-MAN?!???!?
>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
wow spidey moving into random conversations that dont involve you? not very kind of you
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
deadpool… telling me about kindness
>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
its my psa to the world :D
>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
if i had to sit through a psa by you i would simply leave because there’s no way i’m learning any thing from that
>delalune@cinematicwhisperings
angelica are you aware that ⅔ of team red is having a conversation in your replies rn????
>>reddiestand#1@angel-ica
i am trying not to freak out asdjkhg
>>>DD@Daredevil
We can make it 3/3.
>>>>delalune@cinematicwhisperings
BRO WTF???!!? KSJGHK ANGELICA???
>>>>>reddiestand#1@angel-ica
i will now be passing away
*****
webslinger@spideyofficial
some people ask me “spidey how human are you?” and let me tell you its at least 75%
>localnurse@drinkuptime
spider-man. that is a strangely low number
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
i’m a strangely low human :P
>>>GOS2!@zira-rates-books
spidey… are you okay???
>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
no thanks for asking!
>>>>>pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
spidey we’ve talked about this.
>leggosandeggos@maxbuildsshiz
whats the other 25%-
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
your mom
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
lol but really its like spider ig
>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
yeah cause everyone is just 25% not human
>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
hey we stand for mutant rights in this house thank! you! very! much!
*****
h.osborn@harry_osborn
peter just came up to me, showed me a picture of a run down arcade and said “its my gender” and scampered off like a fucking rat
>bi-tch@pparker
DID I LIE????
>>bi-tch@pparker
also if either of us is a rat its you mr. “i don’t touch the sun”
>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
that makes me more of a vampire dear
>future-ceo@thebabysitter
better than when he showed me jack skellington
>>pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
he broke into the office last week to show me a picture of the dashcon ballpit…
>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
What’s a dashcon?
>>>>bi-tch@pparker
you’ve opened up a can of horrors you’ve never wished to experience matthew
>>>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
matt what have you done
Notes:
i have to write three essays this week i wanna die
on another note everytime i write for this its like 12-1 am and i really think that adds to the ambience and the vibes I've got going on for this shit show
Chapter 3: in which mistakes were made
Notes:
tiktok made me get into mw2... i've made it my mission to piss off the dude bros now <3
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
webslinger@spideyofficial
weak: the hypermasculine character feels no emotions whatsoever
strong af: he’s actually my baby girl
>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
i’m also open to being anyones baby girl ;)
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
wade not on my posts
>>>idiot_two@thehotlaywer
spidey get off your phone
>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
ur not my dad :P so no <3
>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
am i going to need to take this as you’re flirting with other men :/
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
your my one true baby girl <3
>>>driving&speeding@tylerruinedthis
wait spider-man has a girlfriend????
*****
raine-clouds@yourmumshouse
i keep seeing the same kid leave nelson, murdock, and page and i’m starting to get concerned
>benny(2 MORE DAYS!)@sorceryisreal
raine that just the local weirdo we’ve all accepted them as an honorary member of hells kitchen
>>e-bot@allseeingeye
five dollars says they’re one of their kids
>>>benny(2 MORE DAYS!)@sorceryisreal
E you know i cant pass up a good bet
>>raine-clouds@yourmumshouse
they dont look young enough to be one of the lawyers kids
>>>breakmyknees@dylanisqueer
bruh youre lying they look like theyre 12 lmao
>>>>bi-tch@pparker
I AM 17 THANK YOU VERY MUCH >:(
>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
also i’m an honorary citizen of hell’s kitchen :’) i truly do feel honored
>>>>breakmyknees@dylanisqueer
RAINE WE FUCKED UP THATS HARRY OSBORNS BF!!!
>>>>>raine-clouds@yourmumshouse
WIAT SHTI KDSJGHSGH
>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
smh glad to see i’m my own person /s
*****
threescompany@themoonsystem
who broke into our home? - marc
>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
lmao that was me and spidey, guy was bleeding out and you were closest
>>threescompany@themoonsystem
that’s great and all but you broke into our house???? - marc + jake
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
i mean yeah ig, would you rather me bleed out in a dumpster?
>>>>DD@Daredevil
Don’t do that.
>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
see now red is mad and thats never a good thing
>>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
(he has anger issues)
*****
The Daily Bugle@DailyBugleOfficial
Breaking news: Spider-Man, New York’s greatest menace, is outed as breaking into civilian homes.
threescompany@themoonsystem
piss offfff - jake
*****
thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
when you finally tweet on your account and now everyone things your spider-man’s gf
>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
great news - or ig bad to some of you weirdos - i am not his gf but i am his bf
>>jenny (she/they)@jen.worship
spideys gay??!! /pos
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
*bisexual
>>>>the better goblin@hobgoblin
i however am a certified men liker
>>>>>nonstop@andrewcantsing
me - hobgoblin: homosexuals
>>DD@Daredevil
Who let Hobgoblin have a Twitter account?
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
that would be me you old ass bitch
>>>>DD@Daredevil
Okay, child.
>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
>:O how dare
>>>>>>hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
acting like you didn’t start the argument
mod 1
*****
ghost-era@moonsandstars
uhhh so it’s come to my attention that spidey has said some vaguely concerning things so here’s a thread of them
>ghost-era@moonsandstars
“don’t worry everyone, it’s not my blood, that kinds blue!”
>>ghost-era@moonsandstars
“remember kids if you have drugged halloween candy give it to me cause my metabolism makes quick work of opioids”
>>>ghost-era@moonsandstars
“if one more thing goes wrong today i’m going home” *car just fucking explodes* “i’m gonna pretend i didn’t see that”
>>>>ghost-era@moonsandstars
feel free to add anymore <3
>future-ceo@thebabbysitter
“who’s stopping me from snorting chalk”
>localnurse@drinkuptime
“that was before the spider trauma”
>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
“if the spider that bit me survived i would have kept it as a pet but sadly i smacked the bitch out of fear and it’s gone now”
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
rest in pieces gregory you will be missed
>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
you named the fucking spider?
>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
my old therapist said forming a positive connection with small fear inducing things can be healthy
>>>>>legosandeggos@maxbuildsshiz
bro it sounds like you need another therapist
*****
hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
the avengers just tried to recruit dd and failed hard
mod 2
Offer still stands
>>DD@Daredevil
Not in a million years Stark.
>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
@pparker stark stole my layout smh
>>>bi-tch@pparker
how dare he
Osborn, nice to meet with you again
>>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
that’s funny don’t remember meeting you, my dad might’ve but he’s dead now so :|
>>>>>>bi-tch@parker
it be like that
*****
nodeathhere@exmerc<3
no member of team red has all three
>webslinger@spideyofficial
omg game time!
>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
a father
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
how could you do this to me…
>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
(psttt DD put a finger down)
>>>>>>DD@Daredevil
I can read just fine thank you.
>>>>>>>hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
according to the bugle you’re illiterate
mod 2
*****
macesandtalons@raeishere
are we all going to gloss over the fact that the avengers tried to recruit DD and fucking FAILED????
>macesandtalons@raeishere
like how!?? why??? what caused him to say no??? basically i need answers pls
>DD@Daredevil
As Spider-Man would say, I am of the eat the rich mentality.
>>delalune@cinamaticwhisperings
and here i was thinking daredevil was another rich guy with too much time on his hands
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
nah be broke af
>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
team red be poor sometimes :P
>>>>>delalune@cinamaticwhisperings
nah that’s valid as hell go off
>>mikey-mac@thewholecircus13
omg dd is just like me for real for real
>>>nonstop@andrewcantsing
but really seeing heroes that go through the same shit i do >>>>
>>>>hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
they like looking out for the little guy :)
mod 2
>>>>>joeydazed@blurryfaceisme
this tweet *gently holds*
*****
e-bot@allseeingeye
i love them too but how the hell are a bunch of vigilantes just on twitter???
>benny(1 MORE DAY!)@sorceryisreal
in this economy? who knows E
>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
smh that’s the joke in the fic title guys
>>>e-bot@allseeingeye
first of all: OMFG ITS DEADPOOL!!! secondly: what are you talking about????
>>>>DD@Daredevil
We usually just ignore them when xe gets like this.
>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
it saves everyone’s mental stability :)
*****
@spideyofficial what’s your view on the avengers
>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
that one belongs to me and red we found him on the street like a stray
>>DD@Daredevil
He’s adopted.
>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
damn you fell off stark
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
idk whether to be offended or not
>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
you’re hot shit
>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
you know what i am
>webslinger@spideyofficial
sry my guardians said no :/
*****
drivingandspeeding@tylerruinedthis
open q to all the vigilantes where did your super powers come from???
>webslinger@spideyofficial
i think mines kind of obvious….
>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
cancer :D
>>localnurse@drinkuptime
you know what i’ve met you so im not gonna question it
>DD@Daredevil
An incident.
>>hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
wow way to be specific
mod 2
>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
drugs <3
Notes:
what if i wrote a ghostsoap fic... imagine hahaha haha ha - i'm not well guys
Chapter 4: wow this week was eventful...
Chapter Text
webslinger@spideyofficial
days canceled, vibes are off, lost my headphones while swinging
>vix is not here@howyalldoing
aw :( that sucks
>>vix is not here@howyalldoing
how high up were you?
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
only 45 stories so like :/ its kinda on me
>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
mother fucker casually says 45 stories like its nothing
>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
lol imagine wearing headphones
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
some of us dont want the rest of the world to hear our music wade
>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
i’m enhancing my surroundings
>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
you a public menace
>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
i wear that title with honor i’ll let you know :)
*****
webslinger@spideyofficial
imagine going to school today fucking losers
>webslinger@spideyofficial
WAIT EVERYONE STOP THIS WAS ON THE WRONG ACCOUNT
>>DD@Daredevil
You should not be allowed on social media.
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
:(((( @daredevilsbesties dads being mean
>>>>DD@Daredevil
Do not call me that.
>>>>>hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
that’s what you get for picking him up off the street
mod 1
>>>3 days to [email protected]
are we all ignoring that spiderman just said he went to school??? how young is this guy??
>>>secretlybreathing@kae-rae
spiderman going to school??? that lore the development?!?!
>>>puppet history friday!!@makenziemic
wait so by this tweet it seems like hes still in hs and spiderman has been around for like a year and a half now so….
>>>lieutenant(matching with lincoln)@adamsscrapbook
bitch whos child is that!!!
>>>>sergeant(matching with adam)@linkinlogs
love, we already know he’s dd’s kid smh
>>>>>lieutenant(matching with lincoln)@adamsscrapbook
you’re so right <3
>>threescompany@themoonstystem
wait, you go to school? - marc
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
sadly :(
>>>>hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
you need to stay in school spidey
mod 2
>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
you can’t stop me from dropping out
>>>>>>DD@Daredevil
No, but I can.
*****
h.osborn@harry_osborn
everyone get my bf off of the ps
>future-ceo@thebabysitter
i haven’t seen him so obsessed with a game since animal crossing came out
>>bi-tch@pparker
my island was PROSPERING!!!
>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
yeah and then you let it die out
>>>>bi-tch@pparker
yes. we don’t need to talk about that.
>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
:/ when pete starts using proper grammar i get sad, bring back the chaos
>pagesandpages@sufferingnotlaywer
no no no he has a healthy outlet we can let him do it
>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
*sigh* i hate that you’re right
*****
idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
Foggy, stop playing Nickleback.
>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
no <3
>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
its gonna keep going and theres nothing you can do to stop it matty
>>>pagesandpages@sufferingnotlaywer
no i agree foggy please
>>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
no because you guys are going to learn that nickelback is not that bad and you’ve simply been conditioned to think that
>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
Taking music recommendations from you is always a bad idea.
>>bi-tch@pparker
let it be said nickelback can slap sometimes
>>>idiot_two@thehowlawyer
thank you peter! see matt and karen, someone agrees with me
>>>>bi-tch@pparker
i said sometimes dont let that go to your head
>localnurse@drinkuptime
your listening to nickelback? L
>>kathleens left eye@artisticbreakdown
seeing these people interact with each other as if they haven’t quickly become HKtwt’s favorite group is so funny to me
>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
wait we have a twt group name?
>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
wait that’s literally just hells kitchen twt??
>>>>>kathleens left eye@artisticbreakdown
i never said we were original
*****
future-ceo@thebabysitter
@pparker @harry_osborn since we’re famous now we need to give the people a good name
>h.osborn@harry_osborn
agreeeeed its boring
>>bi-tch@pparker
what would it even be???
>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
uuhhhhh idk
>>>>bi-tch@pparker
thank you for your contribution gwen
>soap-era@moonsandstars
wait i have some ideas!
>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
guys its our biggest fan
>>>soap-era@moonsandstars
askdj idk about that but i’m honored
>>>>soap-era@moonsandstars
anyways i was thinking maybe defunctwt?? cause like… dysfunctional.. or or or jumbletwt because you’re all a jumble of different people :)
>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
:O moon you’re a genius
>>>>>>soap-era@moonsandstars
kdsfj i’m just trying my best but thanks! glad you like it
*****
Trending
#4 JumbleTWT
A group seems to have arisen with fans creating a new name for the mix of unlikely friends.
*****
future-ceo@thebabysitter
wait till i tell my mom i’m trending on twt
>bi-tch@pparker
she’ll be disappointed
>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
probably
>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
it’ll give your brothers enjoyment
*****
thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
things they don’t tell you before becoming a vigilante: knees are hurting
>webslinger@spideyofficial
everyday i wake up and think “wow i feel old”
>>arelean@neverendingsymphony
bro you said you were in hs??
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
tell that to my bones
>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
they be creaking
>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
a creakin’ and a crackin’
*****
soap-era@moonsandstars
so people have been coming up with more group names (i love you all for that <3) so i’m making a thread for all of vigilante&co. twt, especially for newcomers who may not know everything, we’re very accepting of y’all
>soap-era@moonsandstars
Vigilantetwt: basically all the vigilantes that we can find
Vigilante&Co.twt: includes vigilantes and those closely associated who tweet with them like @daredevilsbesties for an example
>>soap-era@moonsandstars
most herotwt names are just (heroname)twt ex. DareDeviltwt
TeamRedtwt: Daredevil, DeadPool, Spider-Man
NMPtwt: @thehotlaywer @reallygoodlawyer @sufferingnotlawyer - the funny lawyer people (who are actually good at their jobs)
>>>soap-era@moonsandstars
bestiestwt: @pparker @harry_osborn @thebabysitter @spideyofficial
>>>>soap-era@moonsandstars
my personal favorite jumbletwt: @thehotlawyer @reallygoodlawyer @sufferingnotlawyer @pparker @harry_osborn @thebabysitter @exmerc<3 @drinkuptime
>>>>>soap-era@moonsandstars
as always add on if you have anymore you want to share love you all <3
*****
webslinger@spideyofficial
yo what are the avengers doing in queens???
>webslinger@spideyofficial
oh fuck
>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
omfg he fucking dead
>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
wait you don’t get to die yet
>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
no dying is my thing :(
*****
Avengers@TheAvengers
disregard spider-mans tweet everything is fine
>DD@Daredevil
I will come after you if you hurt my kid.
>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
as will i~!!
>>>Avengers@TheAvengers
wait pls no i’m just like the intern person that runs this account!!!
>>>>DD@Daredevil
What’s your name?
>>>>>Avengers@TheAvengers
harley mr. daredevil sir
>>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
carry on harley!
*****
Avengers@TheAvengers
y’all i am shaking in my boots
*****
Trending
#3 Avengers
New information about the Avengers’ Twitter account as well as possible inclusion of Spider-Man in the team leaves fans shocked.
#7 HiHarley
Fans greet the owner of the Avengers’ Twitter account with #hiharley
Notes:
i did end up posting that ghostsoap fic - i actually wrote multiple. how fun
anyway have a great day/night/whenever you're reading this <3
Chapter Text
webslinger@spideyofficial
if you’re verified i don’t trust you anymore
>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
those little checks mean nothing
>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
thank god i didn’t take it than
>>>Clint.B@ElderHawkeye
no no no that was my one shot at making myself look legit
>>>>Clint.B@ElderHawkeye
every avenger is verified but me even THOR!!! and he isn’t even from this planet!!!
>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
i trust you than
does this mean you don’t trust me??
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
bro are you illiterate??
>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
DRAG HIM <3 <3 <3
>>>>C.Barton@ElderHawkeye
asdlkfj guys i got spidey on my side its all good
>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
i have never met you in my life
*****
nodeathhere@exmerc<3
guys what if i made dd a tumblr account ;)
>webslinger@spideyofficial
YES
>>hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
he’ll take physic damage
mod 1
>>>hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
so obviously do it
mod 2
>>>>localnurse@drinkuptime
please do it, i need to see them lose their mind
>>>>>clingyarc@sophiedraws
he/they daredevil?!!??
>>>>>>clingyarc@sophiedraws
it seems i have missed a few chapters i will now be passing away
*****
webslinger@spideyofficial
people ask me “but what would your parents think!”
>webslinger@spideyofficial
which first of all ha ha ha… parents
but also, laughing in emancipated minor
>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
me + spidey
dead parents
>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
so remember when we talked about sharing to much online…
>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
no team red member has all three!!! a mom, a dad, happiness!!
>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
well spidey you have a dad now (technically two) dd adopted you
>>>>DD@Daredevil
I did not actually adopt Spider-Man, Wade.
>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
then why do you act like you do smh
>>threescompany@themoonsystem
spidey it looks like you just trauma dump on twt and call it content - marc/steven
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
isn’t that what everyone uses twt for???
*****
Avengers@TheAvengers
@spideyofficial who’s your favorite
>webslinger@spideyofficial
wowww we’ve resorted to @ing me now
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
anyway its you
>>>Avengers@TheAvengers
k so i’m not an avenger so… pick another
>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
black widow. also this is very strange that you’re asking me this let it be said dd has adopted me and i know an ex merc
>>>>>DD@Daredevil
You still aren’t my son.
>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
he’s still in their denial arc
*****
soap-arc@moonsandstars
why do i feel like something in going to happen today
>aca-dex-ic@tinkeringtime
don’t worry moon i bet its nothing
>>soap-era@moonsandstars
kay thanks i’m gonna take a nap wake me up with anything happens <3
>>>aca-dex-ic@tinkeringtime
i will :D
*****
chase(xe/he)@thelightstwinkle
seeing actual vigilantes move to tumblr has been the best and worst thing my eyes have ever witnessed
>chase(xe/he)@thelightstwinkle
there’s some heroes too, and let me tell you someone needs to make like a class on how to run a tumblr blog
>>chase(xe/he)@thelightstwinkle
deadpool has been the great exemption from this because xyr doing it perfectly??? like they just know what to do???
>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
you’re surprised by this? you must not know my brand tsk tsk
*****
hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
guys we did it we got the account!!!!
mod 2
>hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
please flood the inbox i need to see his reaction
mod 2
>>hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
dd if youre seeing this i had nothing to do with it
mod 1
*****
DD@Daredevil
No, nobody needs to fear for my friend’s safety. They’re just… compromised at the moment.
>threescompany@themoonsystem
did either give you our account? - jake
>>DD@Daredevil
No? Why would they?
>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
don’t worry about it
*****
bi-tch@pparker
what if i did an ama?
>h.osborn@harry_osborn
what is this reddit
>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
no
>>>bi-tch@pparker
wow har i was just trying to be interesting but i guess not /s
>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
you’re the most interesting person on the planet
>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
i’d like to disagree
>>>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
god is testing me.
*****
chase(xe/he)@thelightstwinkle
@moonsandstars WAKE UP FROM YOUR NAP MOON THINGS ARE GOING DOWN!!!!
>chase(xe/he)@thelightstwinkle
WAIK UP
>>chase(xe/he)@thelightstwinkle
i am such a bad friend i can’t get them to wake up!!!!
*****
Trending
2. The Avengers
3. Spider-Man
5. #DaredevilTumblr
*****
webslinger@spideyofficial
GUYS! i just met BLACK WIDOW >webslinger@spideyofficial
life cannot get any better than this
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
BLACK WIDOW!!!
>Agent Romanoff@Black Widow
it was a pleasure meeting you too spider-man
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
@hobgoblin i’ve surpassed you i’ve met black widow
>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
you met ironman before???
>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
irrelevant i just met black widow
>>>>>DD@Daredevil
Good to know I’m irrelevant to you.
>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
i come to you in a dazed stupor at the end of patrols, i practically live with you. so yes, you are irrelevant now
*****
soap-era@moonsandstars
bestie really let me down on that one
>chase(xe/he)@thelightstwinkle
you were dead asleep there was nothing i could do!!!
>>soap-era@moonsandstars
should have just come to my house
>>>chase(xe/he)@thelightstwinkle
you live in vermont!!! i live in WALES!!!!
>>>>soap-era@moonsandstars
sounds like a you problem
*****
Avengers@TheAvengers
guys stop spamming spidey in my replies he’s not joining the avengers
>webslinger@spideyofficial
i already roll with a trio of problematic bachelors
>>thebettergoblin@hobgloblin
you literally have a boyfriend.
>>hellsfinest@daredevilesbesties
whats this about dd being single??? not on my watch
mod 2
>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
i have a on and off relationship with death :/
>>>localnurse@drinkuptime
haha ha… what?
>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
it be like that clair
>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
NONE OF YOU ARE SINGLE
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
its about the vibes~
*****
macesandtalons@raeishere
*me watching my two favorite internet teens get dads*
found family what can i say, when it works it works
>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
Foggy we have a kid?
>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
yes matt its peter get with the times
>>>pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
im the amazing wine aunt obviously
>>>>bi-tch@pparker
yes you are!!! <3 <3 <3
>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
i got adopted first
>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
no <3
>>>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
god not again
Notes:
when i said i had no update schedule i did not lie!
also school is dragging me through the mud rn so mark that down <3
Chapter 6: it felt so real to me~
Notes:
watched moon knight this week and i love the system so much
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
bi-tch@pparker
its the ama guys!!! send me your asks and i’ll (maybe) respond
>h.osborn@harry_osborn
why are you such an idiot sometimes
>>bi-tch@pparker
ooo be careful with your words har the bugle might come after you and slander your name
>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
it wouldn’t be the first time
>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
i’ll drink to that
>cod-era@moonsandstars
hey peter :D i have an ask for you, is matt murdock actually your dad??? cause he sure acts like it
>>bi-tch@pparker
guys its moon, best person in the universe, anyway no he’s not my real dad that ones kinda dead but foggy and them psuedo adopted me and i sometimes do stuff around the firm
>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
He’s a menace don’t trust him.
>>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
matt loves him they just have a hard time showing it
>>>>>pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
peter is their son there i said it
>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
im the unofficial murdock boy 😎
>analove@tisbutascratch
peter are you alright? this is so /gen i’m not even joking
>>bi-tch@pparker
i’m actually doing really well now :) thanks for asking <3
>MBAV S3 [email protected]
how did you manage to pull harry osborn????
>>bi-tch@pparker
let it be said that he was lucky to pull me!
>>>bi-tch@pparker
the secret story is that we’re childhood friends to lovers
>>>>MBAV S3 [email protected]
omg sdfjkga that is adorable thank you for the inclusion of that detail
>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
anytime ;)
>future-ceo@thebabysitter
when are you going to do your chem homework?
>>bi-tch@pparker
wow would you look at the time
>>>bi-tch@pparker
seems like the ama is over is was great talking to y’all
*****
future-ceo@thebabysitter
@pparker coward
*****
threescompany@themoonsystem
sometimes you come to front after a long day and you ask yourself, who in their right mind would ever buy marmite - marc
>threescompany@themoonsystem
okay brits calm down i’m from chicago i would never eat that heathness food - marc
>>raine-clouds@yourmumshouse
this just in american cant handle flavor
>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
that is talking real high and mighty from a country that colonized for spices and then didn’t use them - jake
>>>>raine-clouds@yourmumshouse
i-
>>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
god i am so sorry!!! - steven
>>>>>>raine-clouds@yourmumshouse
this interaction has been enough for me, i got insulted not once but twice, and then was apologized to by the british guy the american was making fun of
>>>>>>>raine-clouds@yourmumshouse
i’m loggin off twt for today
*****
Clint.B@ElderHawkeye
out of all the people i didn’t expect to watch daredevil be the one to fall from the roof of a building
>ttylxox@trentondrive
omfg is he okay???!??!
>>Clint.B@ElderHawkeye
idk probably
>>>Clint.B@ElderHawkeye
just so everyone knows my standard of okay is probably a lot lower than most civilian
*****
nodeathhere@exmerc<3
lmao just wanted red fall from a building
>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
these are good times
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
you’d think with his abilities he wouldn’t do that
>>>DD@Daredevil
You all know what you did.
>>>>Clint.B@ElderHawkeye
the family drama thickens
>>>>>DD@Daredevil
Stay out of this avenger.
>>>>>>Clint.B@ElderHawkeye
you know i would be mad that you used that as an insult but you remembered i’m an avenger so i’ll let it slide
*****
LayLow@LittleScarab
@themoonsystem marc michael spector
>threescompany@themoonsystem
that is not my middle name??? - marc
>>bi-tch@pparker
omg @exmerc<3 grab the popcorn
>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
you know it petey
>>LayLow@LittleScarab
since when did you live in ny huh?
>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
uhhh somethings came up - marc/steven
>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
honestly slipped our mind because we thought we’d be back in london by now - marc/steven
>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
wait they’re from london????
>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
i mean it was obvious that steven was british but marc??
>>>>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
just me that’s british, lots of things…. happened in the past year - steven
*****
LayLow@LittleScarab
take a shot everytime my husband is off in some other country that i dont know about
>threescompany@themoonsystem
to be fair twice isn’t that bad - jake
>>LayLow@LittleScarab
tell marc he’s a moron for me
>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
with pleasure amiga - jake
>>driving&speeding@tylerruinedthis
bro twice???? layla you’re a queen why do you put up with this man???
>>>LayLow@LittleScarab
cause i love the moron
*****
Loki(He/Him)@sneksneak
so anyway i was in a silly goofy mood
>webslinger@spideyofficial
IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE
>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
TURN IT UP
>>>BetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
HES BACK HES BACK YALL
>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
WE’RE BOUT TO GET TURNED UP
>>>>>cass@Stature
mother fucker leaves for a year and a half and shows up on twt
>>>>>[email protected]
nahh he was in a silly goofy mood
>>>>>>[email protected]
its alright we all get a little silly sometimes
*****
ghostsoap-era@moonsandstars
in a matter of minutes a new superhero group has popped up
>webslinger@spideyofficial
its cause we’re awesome and cool and hot
so, you didn’t want to join the avengers so you made your own group?
>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
spidey you’re a petty ass and i love it
>>>>BetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
like spidey formed the group…. it was me, patriot, but give spidey the credit ig
>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
never! patriot formed the group i was just recruited
>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
im not a liar or a poser <3
>>>>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
wellllll
>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
shhhhhhh its alright love <3
*****
threescompany@themoonsystem
please stop taking my dabloons, i have goldfish to feed 😥 - steven
>pagesandpages@suffereingnotlaywer
steven i will personally transfer you my 100 dabloons
>>bi-tch@pparler
karen! :0 that’s illegal you cant do that
>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
think about the inflation
>>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
karen you work at a law firm you cant break the law
>>>>>pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
foggy. 👀
>>>>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
oh
>kathleens left eye@artisticbreakdown
i will gift you 20 dabloons, its the best i can do
>>threescompany@themoonsystem
thank you for your gift <3 -steven
>h.osborn@harry_osborn
did you get robbed too? its a harsh world out there
>>threescompany@themoonsystem
no actually the irs came after me for tax evasion - steven
>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
i- i was not expected that
Notes:
chapter brought to you by my thanksgiving break
Chapter 7: what if i simply did not
Notes:
we're reading lord of the flies in English again, last time i did that was 8th grade so reading it senior year is really throwing me off
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
bi-tch@pparker
the holidays are crazy when the friend group consists of: 3 agnostics, one of which only comes for the food (harry…)
>bi-tch@pparker
4 jewish people, 3 of them haven’t celebrated in… a while. a catholic man who never misses midnight mass, literally how
>>bi-tch@pparker
a pagan who decided to fuck around and find out with death. and finally a christian who cares little about the religiousness of the holiday
>>>bi-tch@pparker
we have a grand old time here
>ghostsoap-era@moonsandstars
your friend group continues to be one of my favorite things in the world
>>alex(she/her)@revived&alive
ghost is being parasocial again~
>>>ghostsoap-era@moonsandstars
omfg alex sdjgdfjg shut up!!
>delalune@cinamaticwhisperings
wait whos the one with death????
>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
who do you think ;)
>>>delalune@cinamaticwhisperings
i- i do not want to ask further questions
>h.osborn@harry_osborn
this is lies and slander i do not just come for the food it is simply a plus
>>bi-tch@pparker
admit it you just want foggy’s cooking
>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
it is good
>>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
aw harry i knew you had a heart
>>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
its only for peter
>threescompany@themoonsystem
we’re bringing layla :D - steven
>>bi-tch@pparker
yes please
>>>bi-tch@pparker
her koshari is amazing
>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
now who’s the one that’s in it for the food
>>>>>LayLow@littlescarab
good to know i’m appreciated
>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
Apparently going to church is weird now.
>>bi-tch@pparker
no no n o n you don’t get yo twist this
>>>bi-tch@pparker
literally how though??? how do you manage to never miss midnight mass with your schedule????
>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
It’s called planning ahead and having good time management.
>>>>>pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
actually its called his mother would call and yell at them if he didn’t
>>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
Lies and slander.
>>>>>>>pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
we’ve seen enough cases to know thats not true, i’m simply stating facts <3
*****
threescompany@themoonsystem
today i was telling marc this dream i had, and he was doing work and slightly annoyed so he said “i don’t care about your dreams steven” (1/3)
>threescompany@themoonsystem
there was a good minute or two for him to realize what he said before he apologized profusely-steven (2/3)
>>threescompany@themoonsystem
still laughing about it now actually (3/3) - steven
>>>LayLow@littlescarab
steven, do i need to have words with marc
>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
nah, he’s just being silly - steven
>>>>>cass@Stature
i’ve met marc, somehow i don’t think he’s one for silly moods
>>>>>>Loki(He/She)@sneksneak
cassie, we’ve established this. silly goofy moods get you out of anything
*****
BetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
the irony that one of us runs the actual avengers twt will never be lost on me
>potato-child@IronLad
hmmm sounds like a you problem
>>potato-child@IronLad
when i asked y’all “hey wouldn’t this be funny” y’all said yes so i’m just going with the program
>>>potato-child@IronLad
dont hate the player hate the game
why not hate both :)
*****
webslinger@spideyofficial
what if i did a twitch stream
>potato-child@IronLad
what if you didn’t
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
honestly i just came here to have a good time and i’m feeling really attacked right now
>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
don’t we all
>>>>Clint.B@ElderHawkeye
I went out with you today, we got your favorite food, you do not get to be annoyed at the world
>>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
i do what i want
>>>>>>Clint.B@ElderHawkeye
sometimes you guys really act like children
>>>>>>>BetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
thats because a) most of us are still children and b) you say that as if the avengers don’t also act like children
>>>>>>>>[email protected]☑️
I’m shocked and offended
>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
good
*****
thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
50k likes and i’ll join spidey’s stream
>webslinger@spideyofficial
trying to jump on my fame are you
>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
or maybe i just want to spend time with you smh
>future-ceo@thebabysitter
you asked for likes???
>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
its a cruel world out there
>DD@Daredevil
Did either of you think of how that stream is actually going to work?
>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
semantics we’ll work it out later
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
not if i stream before you get here
>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
you wouldn’t dare
>>>>>DD@Daredevil
I’m surrounded by children.
>>>>>>hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
technically this ones on you buddy
mod 2
*****
nodeathhere@exmerc<3
found out some things about a friend… seems we’re more similar than he let on
>threescompany@themoonsystem
do not try to push that onto me - marc
>>threescompany@themoonsystem
i am nothing like you - marc
>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
you’re right! i found it fun, you obviously didn’t what’s the harm though
>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
i am a changed man - marc
>>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
he really is i promise :) - steven
>>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
how can i hate that
>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
no single person can hate steven its impossible
*****
webslinger@spideyofficial
real stream is going to be on saturday with the bf because they kept asking if they could be in it
>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
not spidey out here trying make me look clingy
>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
we all know the roles are reversed on that one
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
i am not clingy!
>>>>DD@Daredevil
Yes you are.
>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
hate to break it to you webs but you must definitely are
>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
stream is off im getting bullied by my friends and my bf
*****
pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
the biggest change in my life after joining NM&P is actually that my youtube recommended is now just lawyers critiquing law scenes in movies
>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
wait we have to watch those together
>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
Sounds like our Friday nights.
>>>hmanywayso@gianahman
that sounds like a depressing way to spend a friday night
>>>>local-nurse@drinkuptime
matt could be doing much worse things
>>>>>hmanywayso@gianahman
uhhh you want to elaborate???
>>>>>>local-nurse@drinkuptime
i dont think i can do that in good conscious
>bi-tch@pparker
matt and foggy have ruined my yt too
>>bi-tch@pparker
can’t say im really complaining because some of those videos are entertaining
>>>pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
id have to agree with you there
*****
nodeathhere@exmerc<3
@Daredevil i just got a text that you made spidey cry wtf did you do
>oscarissac-era@moonsandstars
dd what did you do….
>webslinger@spideyofficial
no no!!! happy tears happy tears i promise!!
>>DD@Daredevil
You started crying?
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
that was one of the nicest things someone has done for me, especially with you know… everything that went down
>>>>potatokid@IronLad
you want to explain spidey???
>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
dd got me a menorah since i didn’t have one after everything that i told you about a while back
>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
i just gjakghdas i wasn’t expecting it and them boom! he gives it to me and i break down in tears because i’m so happy
>>>>>>>>DD@Daredevil
You deserve this Spidey.
>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
you are the best <3
Notes:
i have two weeks till finals and apparently I'm having exams in literally every class before that too, how fun, its not like cramming unit assessments before final exams is a bad idea or anything /s
anyway hope y'all have a great day/night/whenever you're reading this <3
Chapter 8: and they were both boys ;)
Notes:
uhhhh this chapter is a bit late because I'm been crushed with school work, the next week is pretty hellish but I'll try to post by the 19th at the latest
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
webslinger@spideyofficial
dont hit me up i just found out i’m the password child
>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
how? love your parents are dead
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
doesn’t mean i can’t be the password child
>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
you are the password child webs :D
>>>>hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
wait you cant just leak our passwords like that
mod 1
>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
i’m your guys’ password too????
>>>>>>hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
who were you talking about????
mod 1
>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
uhhhh no one
*****
DD@Daredevil
@spideyofficial You’re not my child, but you are my password.
>webslinger@spideyofficial
you can admit i’m your son its alright
>>DD@Daredevil
Lying is a sin Spider-Man.
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
bro stop
>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
i dont think people usually call their fathers bro
*****
webslinger@spideyofficial
twitch stream with bae at 3 :>
>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
never call me that again
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
lmao is this our break up post 🫢
>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
you can be insufferable
>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
*sigh* but i love you
>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
yay :D i knew you did
*****
Trending
#2 Spider-Man
#3 Twitch
#5 SpideyGoblin
*****
Twitch.TV/SpideyOfficial
Description: come hang out with me and the bf as we answer some of your questions and tell some work stories :)
“Oh god there’s so many more people here than I thought there would be, hi everyone!” Peter waved a gloved hand at the camera. He was in his suit of course, he had to cover his face one way or another, but there was a sweatshirt thrown over it - a band that he had been getting into was featured on the front.
Harry was seen walking into frame. The other vigilante had forgone much of the armor on his suit, mostly clad in the fabric interior with his mask on and orange hood obscuring his face. He was twisting the cap onto a soda bottle. “Wait, you started?” Even though Peter’s eyes weren’t visible, it was obvious that he rolled his eyes harshly, “No, I just greeted everyone without starting the stream.”
“Don’t need to get defensive on me hun.”
The chat was flooding with comments, so quickly that neither Peter nor Harry could tell what they were saying. “Alright, alright, we have a hashtag on Twitter going with questions since that’ll be easier to filter through.” Harry sat in the chair next to Peter, leaning up against his side as he scrolled through his phone.
Peter wrapped his arm around the other, “Alright, seems like the boyf is being antisocial again.” “I’m not antisocial.” “Sure you aren’t.”
“Moving on,” Harry straightened out as he found a question to answer, “From @thelightstwinkle, hey hobgoblin, ooo this one’s for me, how did you come up with your name? Was it purposely based off of Green Goblin?” The two vigilantes looked at each other for a moment, trying not to laugh. “Uh yeah it is, that’s why I’m the better goblin. There’s some personal history with that but that is a conversation for a much later date.”
Peter stifled his chuckle with a cough, “Oh look it's Patriot, Spider-Man and Hobgoblin, if you two would stop ignoring the group chat that would be great. Wait, have we been ignoring it?”
Harry nearly dropped his phone, “I think we have. Oops?”
“Massive oops,” Peter scrolled through the chat, some trying to ignore the problem at hand again. “Anyways, looks like you are all overjoyed that we’re here. Maybe we’ll do this again then…”
There was a tapping at the window on Peter’s right, causing the teen to nearly fall from his chair. The window then flew open, “Hey Spidey, Gobby look at what I’ve got here!”
“Wade what the he-”
The stream suddenly cut off, a screen popping up that had a drawing of Spider-Man and Hobgoblin together holding a technical difficulties sign.
Stream Will Resume Shortly
*****
when the benadryl hits and you start seeing the lord of the flies
call that simoncore
>>cass@Stature
when you can sing c sharp, call that jackcore
>>>BetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
being the democratically elected leader of a group of “children”, call that ralphcore
>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
having a second half who you share sentences with, call that Samnericcore
>>>>>TheIcon@Ms. Marvel
beng the funniest in the group, call that mauricecore
>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
wearing glasses, call that piggycore
>>>>>>>potato-child@IronLad
you dont even NEED THEM!!!!
>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
THEY HELP ME CONNECT TO MY DEAD FATHER!!!!
>>>>>>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
dark and brooding call that rogercore
*****
localnurse@drinkuptime
everything i’ve learned about my resident idiots i’ve learned against my will
>localnurse@drinkuptime
anyway today i learned spider-man can eat three whole pizzas by himself
>>DD@Daredevil
Is that where he is?
>>>localnurse@drinkuptime
come pick up your child
>>>>DD@Daredevil
Still isn’t mine.
>>>>>localnurse@drinkuptime
nah he is
>>>>>>localnurse@drinkuptime
he’s with someone else now, not my problem anymore
*****
webslinger@spideyofficial
bro moonknight just taught me how to swear in spanish
>Loki(he/him)@sneksneak
you didn’t know how before?
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
i know more now
>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
i guess you haven’t listened to my teachings then :/
>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
pool, i don’t think you’ve really taught me anything
>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
actually no scrap that the taco place address is the only thing you’ve taught me
>>>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
moonknight taught you how to swear in spanish…. -steven
>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
yeah he did >:)
*****
future-ceo@thebabysitter
everytime peter texts me to come up with an excuse for him i’m going to charge him one coffee
>future-ceo@thebabysitter
“but gwen wouldn’t money be better?” no because I forget that i want to get coffee until i’m already at school and then i’m sad that i don’t have coffee
>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
anyway he owes me four coffees
>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
wow i should start doing something like that
>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
peter now owes me two movie nights where i get to pick the movie >:)
>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
What kind of excuses is he asking you to come up with?
>>>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
now if we told you that would go against the excuses
>>>>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
wait-
*****
bi-tch@pparker
if i get an internship at nm&p is it considered nepotism??
>pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
that is literally the definition of nepotism
>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
you think other people want that position??? you must think really highly of us
>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
You don’t already work here?
>>>>localnurse@drinkuptime
everyday i ask myself how that place stays together
>>>>>pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
i think we all do
>>>>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
it’s our amazing legal abilities
>>>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
It’s because we’re still renting from Foggy’s family.
Notes:
hope y'all enjoyed this chapter sorry it was late but i made up with it by adding in a little irl bit <3
Chapter Text
webslinger@spideyofficial
just had the weirdest two days in the world
>webslinger@spideyofficial
yes i was off duty but in my defense i wasn’t even in this universe so i think i get a pass
>>cod-era@moonsandstars
hey uhhhh spidey was is that supposed to mean???
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
exactly what it sounds like???
*****
webslinger@spideyofficial
okay after explaining it to DD (he took it pretty poorly) and DP (he thought it was awesome) i’ll explain it to the rest of you <3
>webslinger@spideyofficial
some other spider-man messed up astronomically because of like magic and secret identity stuff and i sort of got ripped through the multiverse and thrown into his universe
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
there was another one too who was like older and more mature and guys this dudes webs came out of him
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
i don’t even want to think of how that it possible (honestly not the weirdest thing i’ve seen) but still it was strange
>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
anyway i met two more besties and we’re trying to find a way to talk to each other now :)
>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
only my bf would meet two variants of himself through traumatizing circumstances and become their friend
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
spidey 1 was so sad though :( he’s all alone now :((((
>>>potato-kid@Ironlad
not with our horrifying sense of friendship he isn’t going to be
>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
you bet your ass he isn’t gonna be
>>threescompany@themoonsystem
who else did you meet? - steven
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
weellll dd was there technically but he was off doing day job stuff, didn’t meet mk sadly, and there were a lot of villains that i really didn’t want a reintroduction with too
>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
was i there <3
>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
older spidey said you died
>>>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
but i’m still here bb <3
>>>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
your relationship scares me
*****
potato-kid@Ironlad
not tony saying we’re gonna go meet someone and them being a member of the young avengers team 💀
>KB@youngerhawkeye
they opened the door like “uhhhh how did you find this apartment”
How was I supposed to know that that was who that was
>>>potato-kid@Ironlad
that awkward moment when you’re supposed to be a genius
>>>>Loki (he/they)@sneksneak
imagine messing up that badly
>>>>>[email protected]
everybody f in the chat for tony stark
>>>>>>Clint.B@ElderHawkeye
you have one of the best spies in the world on your own team and you couldn’t figure this out????
>>>>>>>>Agent Romanoff@Black Widow
I said no because contrary to popular belief I do in fact have morals
*****
webslinger@spideyofficial
not so funny story tony stark sort of died in the other universe rip
>webslinger@spideyofficial
i would make more jokes but that spidey was attached and literally an avenger before everything so i’m gonna leave this here
>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
wow didn’t expect spidey to be making these tweets
>>>DD@Daredevil
You’ve corrupted him.
>>>>hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
don’t try to get yourself out of that one
mod 2
*****
idiot_two@thehotlawyer
buddy can actually be something so special
>pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
if you said that in your vows i would leave the wedding
>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
wow harsh karen
>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
You love us too much to leave our wedding if we had one.
>>>>localnurse@drinkuptime
matt and foggy are getting married? good for them but I think I missed a chapter
>>>>>pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
don’t worry if those two dumbasses were getting married you’d know well in advance, you’d probably be a bridesmaid
>>>>>>localnurse@drinkuptime
i’d be down to do that
*****
just had a teamup with scarlet scarab i’m dying happy now guys
>LayLow@LittleScarab
you did great today :)
you did amazing too!!! your wings are literally the coolest thing ever!!!
>>>cass@Stature
oh no she’s fangirling again
let me have this
>>>>>LayLow@LittleScarab
would you be down for a teamup again ms. marvel?
>>>>>>>[email protected]
I would very much be down for that, thank you for this opportunity scarab :D
*****
threescompany@themoonsystem
did people not know we were moon knight? it seems really impossible that people didn’t know we were moon knight - steven/marc
>threescompany@themoonsystem
we are literally called the moonsystem, moon knight has three different outfits, you know, for three different people! - steven/marc
>>Clint.B@ElderHawkeye
same energy as when people found out I was deaf, just because I’m a superhero doesn’t mean I can’t be disabled
>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
This goes out to all the people that thought I couldn’t be a lawyer because I’m blind.
>>LayLow@LittleScarab
I find impossible to think that people didn’t know you three were mk
>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
yeah that’s what I thought too but obviously that wasn’t the case - marc
>>>>LayLow@LittleScarab
you three literally call out to each other all the time during fights
>>>>>LayLow@LittleScarab
you guys have three different accents???
>>>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
I know!! - marc
>>>>>>>threescompnay@themoonsystem
critical thinking skills are lost in this world - jake
*****
h.osborn@harry_osborn
new idea: i buy twt
>future-ceo@thebabysitter
new idea: don’t
>>bi-tch@pparker
well harry that would just be a bad business investment and you would be left with a hellscape (derogatory) on your hands
>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
you’re right peter, I can’t think of anyone that would want to go through with that….
*****
bi-tch@pparker
hey uhhhh why did my bf’s twt get restricted????
>bi-tch@pparker
update, they want me to tell you this: “I don’t regret it”
>>bi-tch@pparker
update 2: they’re back everyone say hi harry <3
*****
h.osborn@harry_osborn
someone recently asked what it was like that my bf was still friends with his ex gf and i just kind of sat there for a second until i realized that that really is our friend group
>future-ceo@thebabysitter
it took you that long to realize? you know we were all friends when me and peter were dating right?
>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
hey i’m not the smart one that is you and peter’s jobs, i’m just the one with the money
>>>bi-tch@pparker
omg harry you’re right
>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
i stand corrected, peter you didn’t realize either???? really????
>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
i’m just not observant
Notes:
its finals week :/// since tmr is my day of actual difficult exams i may be able to pump out a chapter either tmr night or Wednesday so look forward to that
hope y'all have a great day/night/whenever you're reading this <3
Chapter 10: its break time baby
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
webslinger@spideyofficial
catch me listening to music in a language i can’t understand
>threescompany@themoonssytem
me @ the rest of the system - marc
>thebettergoblin@hobgloblin
is it spanish or french this time
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
portuguese actually
>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
its that sun moon song isn’t it
>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
you cannot come at me for listening to songs i don’t know the words to when you listen to j-pop
>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
who’s to say i can’t speak japanese
this reminds me i need to send you that playlist
>>BetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
you wouldn’t keep forgetting if you shared your spotify with the rest of us 🖐️🙄
that spotify account is my baby i’m not letting anyone else corrupt it
>potato-child@IronLad
country is the best y’all stay mad
we get it you’re from the south
>>>potato-child@IronLad
i have to remind you city slickers every once and a while
>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
you’ve lived in the city for a few years now
>>>>>potato-child@IronLad
stay mad
*****
Avengers@TheAvengers
just got told i was adopted don’t hit me up
>bi-tch@pparker
omg me too bestie <3
>>Avengers@TheAvengers
we’re besties now????
>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
see i know why things have changed but i sort of liked things better when you two were fighting all the time
>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
it was pretty funny actually
>>>>>[email protected]☑️
No it wasn’t, don’t bring back those times
>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
we can bring it back
>>>>>>>Avengers@TheAvengers
don’t even have to hesitate it will happen
*****
Those two kids are going to be the death of me
>bi-tch@pparker
really? weak.
>>potato-child@IronLad
do better
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
sounds like a you issue
*****
Loki(She/Her)@sneksneak
I just realized I was used for someone’s history assignment 🧍
>THOR@sonofodin
You were used by someone? That’s not like you sister.
>>Loki(She/Her)@sneksneak
sometimes we mess up and sometimes you end up writing a three page essay for some highschooler
>>>C.Barton@ElderHawkeye
who the hell got you to do that?
>>>>Agent Romanoff@Black Widow
we all know who it was.
>>>>>fiftybelow@WhiteWolf
watch yourself, you’ve been roped into things by those kids too
>>>>>>Capsicule@CaptainAmerica
All of us have
>>>>>>>BetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
we stay winning 😌
*****
webslinger@spideyofficial
guess who just got an A on his history essay!!!
>webslinger@spideyofficial
wait why is everyone quote tweeting this
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
loki you snitch :O
*****
nodeathhere@exmerc<3
I would do anything to eat the icecream in the one barney movie
>DD@Daredevil
What the actual Hell are you talking about?
>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
I know your childhood wasn’t happy or anything but there was barney movie with a scene that I would do anything to live in
>>>DD@Daredevil
Wade you’re in your thirties.
>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
its called healing my inner child
>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
I KNOW THAT MOVIE!!!
>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
that scene lived in my mind for years and i always thought it was fake!!!
>>>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
catch me and spidey rewatching it and describing everything to DD
>>>>>>>>DD@Daredevil
Please don’t.
*****
webslinger@spideyofficial
this conversation with dp reminded me of this thing that my aunt used to have me watch on vhs that was supposed to teach me manners or something
>webslinger@spideyofficial
all i remember was that there was some kid making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and i wanted to eat that more than anything
>>DD@Deadpool
Is it just a you guys thing that you want to eat things from your childhood.
>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
i think its a normal thing when you have a strange childhood
>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
i used to have a slight peanut allergy
>>>>>DD@Daredevil
Then why would you want to eat the sandwich?
>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
because the kid eating it looked so happy and i wanted a piece of that
>>>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
the same reason i wanted to eat that milkshake from the barney movie
>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
good times
*****
Avengers@TheAvengers
its not a real friendship if you don’t think about kissing the homies just a little bit
You have a personal twitter for a reason, maybe this is one of those times that you should use it
>>Avengers@TheAvengers
don’t try to say what I just tweeted wasn’t correct
>>>C.Barton@ElderHawkeye
you’re right kid
>>>>[email protected]☑️
Don’t instigate him further
>>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
instigate them further clint!!!!
>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
do it do it do it
>fiftybelow@WhiteWolf
you’re not wrong
>>Capsicule@CaptainAmerica
Bucky…
>>>Birdman@Falcon
don’t try to deny it
*****
Loki(They/He)@sneksneak
happy solstice everyone, the nights are getting shorter but that doesn’t mean the weather’s getting any better
>THOR@sonofodin
Happy solstice brother :)
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
is that what a normal family dynamic look likes?
>>>Loki(They/He)@sneksneak
you know damn well that we don’t have a normal family dynamic
>>>>THOR@sonofodin
Not in the slightest
>>>>>THOR@sonofodin
Though Loki is still one of the most important people in my life
>>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
:/ me and my siblings just argue
>>>>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
imagine having siblings
>>>>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
imagine not being a little bitch
*****
bi-tch@pparker
whoever pulled the fire alarm during class today is going to need to speak to my lawyers
>bi-tch@pparker
yes that happens to be matt and foggy
>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
I think that violates some sort of ethics code.
>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
i’m ready to go after someone for you pete
>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
imagine standing out in the cold, couldn’t be me
>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
okay mr. “let me not show up today I don’t need to” listen here-
>>>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
i literally picked you up today after
>>>>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
we went to that cafe you like with gwen
>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
it 👏 was 👏 still 👏 cold
>>potato-child@IronLad
only in new york
>>>bi-tch@pparker
says the one that complains about their old life in tennessee all the time 💀
>>>>potato-child@IronLad
i’m hypocritical i know
>>>>>potato-child@IronLad
i’m still gonna make fun of ny tho
Notes:
kept my grades up cause finals went well :D thank you all for the kind words <3
Chapter 11: have yourself a merry little shitmas
Chapter Text
webslinger@spideyofficial
the more time i spend with the avengers (most of the time against my will) the more i think that they’re a semi disfunctional polycule
>C.Barton@ElderHawkeye
semi disfunctional???? spider-man you’re giving us so much credit
>fiftybelow@WhiteWolf
wait, you didn’t know what was going on
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
what??? between you and clint’s replies i’m losing my mind right now
>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
hon i think you’re the dumbest genius in the entire world
>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
no we all know its my dad don’t strip away that title
>>>>>[email protected]☑️
I’m quite offended kid
>>>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
“Im QuItE OfFeNdEd KiD” checkmate you adopted me that’s on you
>>>>>>>BetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
the way I forgot you were adopted 🧍
>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
guys please explain to me what the fuck is going on right now
*****
Trending
#3: Avengers
#4: Ironman
#7: Polyamory
*****
Loki(She/Her)@sneksneak
how was I not the one involved in a polycule
>Loki(She/Her)@sneksneak
it would have been so on brand for me
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
so the polycule is real?????
>>>Loki(She/Her)@sneksneak
yeah dumbass it came free with the fucking trauma bond
>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
omfg i just outed the avengers polycule
>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
harls i know you run this account but @Avengers I am so sorry for what I have done
>>>>>>C.Barton@ElderHawkeye
this has been the best twenty four hours of my life
*****
Yes, I have multiple partners, we been knew
>potato-kid@IronLad
ew stop trying to be down with the kids
No, it’s my duty to embarrass you as much as I can
*****
DD@Daredevil
No, I’m not married.
>DD@Daredevil
We’re in the process of figuring all of that out.
>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
I did not find out about you and the bfs engagement through twitter
>>>DD@Daredevil
We’re not engaged.
>>>>hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
yet ;)
mod 2
>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
DD if me and wade find out about this through twt there will be a fight
>>>>>>hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
you and wade will be the first to know
mod 2
>>>>>>>hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
and me of course
mod 1
>>>>>>>>DD@Daredevil
We do not have enough money for a wedding.
*****
KB@youngerhawkeye
@YoungAvengers what if we, just an idea, broke in to ST
>KB@youngerhawkeye
would it be fun? absolutely. do i just want to crawl through those vents? definitely
>>Agent Romanoff@Black Widow
Yeah you’re a Hawkeye alright
>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
oh shit i probably shouldn’t have tweeted that
nah i’m still down to break in
>>>>>cass@Stature
lets do it guys
>>>>>>[email protected]
should we???
>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
yes we should
>>>>>>>>Loki(They/Them)@sneksneak
he says after getting the avengers to already have eyes out for him
>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
wait they do??!!??!?!
*****
fiftybelow@WhiteWolf
i have two bfs stay mad
I have 2 and a wife beat that
>>fiftybelow@WhiteWolf
tony i am a gay man 🧍♂️
Okay and?? Do better
>>>>Capsicule@CaptainAmerica
Calm down you’re both pretty
>>>>>Birdman@Falcon
sometimes I have so much regret about this
*****
future-ceo@thebabysitter
i- i’m not well
>h.osborn@harry_osborn
lmao @pparker gwen saw a pretty person and her brain broke
>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
he says as if they haven’t done the same thing
>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
bestie you already know im a hypocrite <3
>>>>bi-tch@pparker
sooooo who’s the lucky person
>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
peter it will be over for you
>>>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
they work at the coffee shop you and gwen always stop at
>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
ohhhh, mj?
>>>>>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
i will block your ass
*****
nodeathhere@exmerc<3
my eyes have been opened like i met god
>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
in layman’s terms @Daredevil @spideyofficial i got some teaaa
>>DD@Daredevil
That’s not how you use the phrase layman’s terms.
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
what’s up pool
>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
well obviously only one of you cares
>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
i’ll send it in the gc we aren’t about to spill these spicy deets over twt
>>>>>>DD@Daredevil
I’m begging you to speak like a normal person.
>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
that would require that xe be a normal person and we all know he can’t do that
*****
threescompany@themoonsystem
breaking the cycle by spending chanukah with peter -steven
>threescompany@themoonsystem
best time ever let me tell you -steven
>>bi-tch@pparker
i had lots of fun too :D
>>>bi-tch@pparker
we’ll have to meet up together next year too
>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
most definitely :) - steven/jake
>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
:O jake used an emoji
>>>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
shut your mouth parker - jake
*****
KB@youngerhawkeye
spidey was right
>KB@youngerhawkeye
shit i owe him thirty now
>>C.Barton@ElderHawkeye
you want to explain kate?
>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
its probably for the best that i dont…..
>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
i fucking told you! you would have been thirty dollars richer today if you listened to me
>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
and i wouldn’t have so shut your mouth
>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
thank you for not listening to harls, kate <3
>>>>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
i have student loans….
*****
KB@youngerhawkeye
clints letting me share this because i begged him and i think its funny as hell
>KB@youngerhawkeye
so yall know that episode of parks and rec where april is explaining her relationship? that shit is real!!!
>>KB@youngerhawkeye
mrs. barton “this is my husband clint and clints boyfriend scott”
>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
WAIT I JUST REALIZED HOPE HAS PROBABLY HAD THE SAME CONVERSATION
>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
“this is my boyfriend scott and scotts boyfriend clint”
>>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
guys i’m a fucking genius
>>>>>>C.Barton@ElderHawkeye
mmmm I regret allowing you to tweet
>>>>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
you love me you cant deny that
>>>>>>>>C.Barton@ElderHawkeye
you forced your friendship on me
Notes:
i'm gonna try to watch multiverse of madness tonight (edit i couldn’t, i am not sad) we'll see how that goes, i watched hawkeye and really enjoyed it (that's why there was so much clint and kate in this)
i love the idea of the avengers polycule ever since the original group - polyamory simply solves all the multiship issues - and now since there's more avengers its even more interesting
that is all hope, i will now go burn cardboard boxes from Christmas hope y'all have a great day/night/whenever you're reading this <3
Chapter 12: 100% that bitch
Chapter Text
webslinger@spideyofficial
just passed america in a hottopic
bro don’t call me out like that
wait why didn’t you say anything???
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
i was on the job, can’t get distracted
>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
he was not in fact on the job instead he was gushing over the fact that they have spidey merch
>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
babeeeeee now you’re calling me out
>>>>>[email protected]
omg you are such a loser
>>>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
hey only i get to make fun of spidey like that
>>>>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
you’re a massive dork hun
>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
i came here to have a good time and honestly i’m feeling really attacked right now
*****
bi-tch@pparker
bro you’ve got to be kidding me 💀
>future-ceo@thebabysitter
what happened??
>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
gwen just wait till fifth period
*****
future-ceo@thebabysitter
@pparker you’re really gonna suffer next thursday
*****
idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
What’s the rules with emancipated minors and permission slips?
>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
matt what happened??
>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
what minor????
>>>pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
wow your names really do fit. they’re talking about peter obviously, but why do you need to sign a permission slip?
>>>>bi-tch@pparker
how about we just sign it and call it a day
>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
You really could have gotten away with anything, I would have signed it. Now that you’re trying to talk around the subject I know somethings up.
>>>>>>pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
peter you’re supposed to be the smart one
>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
well obviously i wasn’t thinking
>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
its just a stupid field trip please just sign it
>>>>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
I’ll sign it but do know we’ll be talking about this later.
*****
potato-kid@IronLad
did i just learn that my favorite nerds from midtown are going to be taking a field trip to stark tower???
>bi-tch@pparker
lets not talk about it
>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
we’re your favorite nerds?
>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
what other nerds from midtown would they be talking about
>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
fair enough
>>potato-kid@IronLad
oh we are going to be talking about it ;) who do you think your tour guides gonna be
>>>bi-tch@pparker
harley please no
>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
you can try to fight against this as much as you want but just know that it’ll just make me want to do it more
>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
this is going to be the second worst fieldtrip ever
>>>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
what was the first one
>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
you already know the answer to that shut up
*****
nodeathhere@exmerc<3
DD isn’t appreciating my showtunes :(
>DD@Daredevil
I would never expect the thing you and mod 2 have in common would be showtunes.
>>hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
guess me and wade will have to hang out more
-mod 2
>>>DD@Daredevil
Oh god please no.
>>>>hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
looks like its just me and you now dp :)
-mod 2
>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
you know it ;)
>>>>>hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
oh shit dd coming over gotta go
- mod 2
>>>>>>>DD@Daredevil
No flirting with mod 2 Wade.
>>>>>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
ooo possessive much? >:)
*****
you know those videos where people are restocking their fridges and stuff?? i want my life to be as organized as that
>KB@youngerhawkeye
you’re a vigilante that’s not happening anytime soon
>>BetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
and you’re an avenger so… no organization here :/
>>>cass@Stature
wait i have to send you a video then because this lady had a massive fridge that she was restocking and there was an ice freezer
>>>>cass@Stature
like an entire freezer just for ice!!! there were so many different kinds with different add ins and shapes and honestly i was kinda jealous
>>>>>[email protected]
its like when i watch those people that have the mini fridges in their rooms and everything just fits so perfectly
>>>>>>[email protected]
i’m sorta annoyed because i will never be as perfect as that but i have to admire their organizational skill because its quite astonishing
>>>>>>>cass@Stature
i’m completely with you on that
>>>>>>>Loki(They/He)@sneksneak
you guys are some of the most boring yet intriguing people i’ve ever met
*****
threescompany@themoonsystem
the thrift store nearby raised their prices and honestly I’m feeling very betrayed right now :( - steven
>LayLow@LittleScarab
you have enough books steven, i don’t think your guys’ shelves can handle anymore
>>threescompany@themoonsystem
but theres still so much to learn - steven
>>>LayLow@LittleScarab
there’s the internetttt
>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
i’ve been trying to tell him that for ages - jake
>>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
he’ll never listen - marc
>>>>>>LayLow@LittleScarab
one day he will when those shelves finally give out
>>>>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
like we’d ever let that happen, steven may have a book problem but if anything were to happen to those books he’d be devastated - jake/marc
>>>>>>>>LayLow@LittleScarab
aw you guys do care ;)
*****
cass@Stature
someone just dmed me asking if my user was a supernatural reference 🧍♀️
>scottydoesknow@AntMan
well is it?
>>cass@Stature
how did you find my twt….
>>>scottdoesknow@AntMan
I know the internet
>>>>C.Barton@ElderHawkeye
he asked me and i gave it up
>>>>>cass@Stature
betrayal, betrayal of the highest degree
*****
webslinger@spideyofficial
people assuming I’m cis:
the fact that i added “man” to my hero name: 👀
>webslinger@spideyofficial
i bet 90% of the people that have man/woman in their hero name are not cis in some way, it just feels right
>>potato-kid@IronLad
maybe like a 70/30
>>>webslinger@spideyoffial
they he/they in your bio
>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
bitch i never said i wasn’t involved i was talking about my dad stfu
>>>>>capsicule@CaptainAmerica
Captain isn’t really gender specific but…
>>>>>>[email protected]
assigned Dr. at birth
>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
guys i wrangled another avenger in my replies
>>>>>>>>[email protected]☑️
When they hell did they get a twt?
>>>>>>>>>[email protected]
every since you decided to say everything on twitter
>>>>>>>>>>[email protected]☑️
oh. shit
Notes:
i saw dear evan hansen on wednesday and it was so fucking cool, after two years of waiting cause I've covid i finally got to go!!!! i also got to watch multiverse of madness so its been pretty good
hope y'all have a great day/night/whenever you're reading this <3
Chapter 13: my polycules cooler than your polycule
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
idiot_two@thehotlawyer
not me finding out that matt has perfect pitch
>idiot_two@thehotlaywer
does it make sense?? yes. do i like it??? mmmm i don’t know about that one
>>bi-tch@pparker
wait he does rip me ig then
>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
You guys didn’t know? I thought it was quite obvious?
>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
wait i know more about matt then you two do????
>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
this is an insane day
>>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
Don’t try to twist this into something that it isn’t.
>>>>>>>pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
you guys must have missed out when it was tapping my pens at work and matt could tell which note they were
>>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
damn i which i was that talented
*****
potato-kid@IronLad
bring back good yt rewind 2023
harley i hundred percent agree with you
>>BetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
haven’t they not made one in like three years???
>>>potato-kid@IronLad
irrelevent
>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
if yt can’t do it themselves i will
>>>>>[email protected]
the way i could see you doing that
>>>>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
they way i will, don’t doubt me
>>>>>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
i will literally help you i want to relive that part of childhood
>>>>>>>>>C.Barton@ElderHawkeye
you had a childhood?
*****
paintro@quicklsilver
turns out my sister and her robo bf don’t have twitter and that felt wrong
>paintro@quicksilver
of course i had to fix that
>>colourtheory@ScarletWitch
I didn’t ask for that
>>>01110110@Vision
I do think this is quite fun though.
>>>>Loki(She/Her)@sneksneak
great you made another person who uses proper grammar
>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
DD doesn’t count and you know that
>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
anyway hey wanda, hey vision :)
>>>>>>>01110110@Vision
Hello Spider-Man.
>>>>>>>>colourtheory@ScarletWitch
you better not call out my name
>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
my lips are sealed ;)
*****
bi-tch@pparker
wish i could have live tweeted the SI trip but sadly i signed like 12 NDAs so…
>h.osborn@harry_osborn
bitch… don’t even try
>>bi-tch@pparker
harry no please
>>>potato-kid@IronLad
hmmm sounds sus peter
>>>>bi-tch@pparker
that died like 2 years ago harls
>>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
uh not in my vocabulary it didn’t
>>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
it may have sucked for you but i just met the second love of my life
>>>>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
oh we know gwen
>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
at least she’s put together :’)
*****
future-ceo@thebabysitter
i have two girlfriends and your jealous
>bi-tch@pparker
good for you
>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
we’re really happy for you gwen
>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
i tried to make you guys annoyed but thank you for the support <3
>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
anyway stan mj and shuri
*****
drinkuptime@localnurse
someone tell DD to fix his outfit
>drinkuptime@localnurse
do you know how many stains i’ve had to get out of that now??
>>DD@Daredevil
Is it really that bad?
>>>drinkuptime@localnurse
pleaseeee fix it
>>>>DD@Daredevil
I didn’t think it was that bad.
>>>>>hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
well….
-mod 2
>>>>>>hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
we support you 100% :)
-mod 1
>>>>>>>drinkuptime@localnurse
do not let them get away with this
>>>>>>>>DD@Daredevil
Now I’m just concerned.
>>>>>>>>>hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
youre doing amazing sweetie
-mod 2
*****
The next time someone decides they want to mess with the fabric of reality please let me know first
my B sry
You can’t just “sry” your way out of this one
nahhh i can sry my way out of anything
>>>>colourtheory@ScarletWitch
you have to admit that what she did was pretty amazing
>>>>>>[email protected]
I’ll admit, it was pretty amazing, but messing with the fabric of reality!
>>>>>>>[email protected]
and i looked great doing it so go off ig
>>>>>>>>colourtheory@ScarletWitch
the new costume looks great :)
>>>>>>>>>[email protected]
you bet it did >:) stephan you just have to loosen up
>>>>>>>>>>[email protected]
Me allowing you to call me Stephan is me loosening up
*****
Birdman@Falcon
news flash: tony and steve do that thing where even if they’re fighting they refuse to leave the other
>Birdman@Falcon
I’ve seen them get pissed off at each other and they lay on the couch together
>>Capsicule@CaptainAmerica
He says as if he and Bucky aren’t the same
>>>fiftybelow@WhiteWolf
stevie, stevie, stevie, me and sam admit it, you and tony do not
>>>>[email protected]☑️
I will sue you for slander
>>>>>fiftybelow@WhiteWolf
you wouldn’t sue your bfs husband
>>>>>>[email protected]☑️
don’t test me
>>>>>>>scottydoesknow@Antman
wait steve and bucky are married
>>>>>>>>Agent Romanoff@Black Widow
we’ve known this for nearing three years now
>>>>>>>>>coolsister@betterwidow
by we she means me, and her ig
>>>>>>>>>>Agent Romanoff@Black Widow
when did you get here?
*****
nodeathhere@exmerc<3
don’t hit me up i just found out i’ve been following a parody blog on tumblr and not the real person for the past two years
>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
i’m crying in the club rn
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
how do you not know for two years??!!??!
>>>DD@Daredevil
Spidey remember who you’re talking to.
>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
two whole years bro two fucking years
>>>>>DD@Daredevil
Again, it’s Wade.
>>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
i can’t even be mad at you for insulting me like that because its quite an accurate statement
>>>>>>>DD@Daredevil
I only make accurate statements.
>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
now that was a fucking lie
>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
how dare you go around sinning like that
*****
threescompany@themoonsystem
today i woke up in new york, tomorrow, who’s to say - J
>LayLow@LittleScarab
that is not a comforting statement
>>threescompany@themoonsystem
you think i’m supposed to be comforting?? - J
>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
honestly i take that back steven, marc, and you get a pass - J
>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
awwww i knew you loved us <3 - S
>>>>>LayLow@LittleScarab
he just never wants to admit it
>>>>>>LayLow@LittleScarab
more emotionally stunted then marc
>>>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
oh wow layla, way to pull out the poor emotional management card - M
>>>>>>>LayLow@LittleScarab
I do what I want <3
Notes:
i dont want to go back to school on Friday i am sufferinggggg. anyway I'm reading all for the game and its- its something alright
have a great day/night/whenever you're reading this <3
Chapter 14: we're no strangers to love~
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
webslinger@spideyofficial
babe took the funny card so now i’m not allowed to make jokes for the next week :/
>potato-kid@IronLad
does that mean you’ll stop being cringe now :O
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
that one just hurt
>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
he says as if his life isn’t one massive joke
>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
sadly its one of those jokes that aren’t funny
>>DD@Daredevil
We promised we wouldn’t make fun of him in these trying times.
>>>drinkuptime@local_nurse
oh god i’ve seen daredevil try to by funny the world must be ending
>>>>hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
one of the seven seals have been broke
-mod 2
>>>>>hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
still love you tho of course <3
-mod 2
>>>>>>DD@Daredevil
Me making a joke is not a sign of the end times.
>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
uhhh actually it is checkmate ratio get owned loser
>>>>>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
you know the funny card was revoked because nothing he just said made me even so much as chuckle
>>>>>>>>>cass@Stature
and to think, they love each other
*****
great news! I’m going to my school dance with bruno!
bad news! my brother is dropping us off and my mom has said she will call me every hour
>>KB@youngerhawkeye
siblings what can i say
you are literally an only child
>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
checkmate clint has basically adopted me so i’ve got siblings now
>>>>>scottydoesknow@Antman
i have another daughter??
>>>>>>cass@Stature
do you have post notifications on for us????
>>>>>>scottydoesknow@Antman
maybe so, i have to make sure you guys aren’t getting up to too much trouble
>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
here to wish you good luck since your post kinda got hijacked :)
thanks gwen :D
though i will say watching that mess go down is always entertaining
*****
webslinger@spideyofficial
me going into stark tower: :0 he’s in the wallsss
It’s something that you just have to get used to kid
>>fiftybelow@WhiteWolf
its gets easier
>>>Capsicule@CaptainAmerica
what the hell, I told them to stop doing that
>>>>C.Barton@ElderHawkeye
I wasn’t listening
>>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
so you turn off your hearing aids around everyone you dont want to listen to, interesting
>paintro@quicksilver
uhhh who the fuck is in the walls
>>THOR@sonofodin
From what I can tell it is Clint, why they do that I will ever know
>>>01110110@Vision
I believe it is because Clint find it amusing to scare the others in the tower.
>>>>colourtheory@ScarletWitch
sadly it works
>>>>>>coolsister@betterwidow
nobody told me those walls we hollow enough to crawl through
>>>>>>>C.Barton@ElderHawkeye
now you know
>>>>>>>>Agent Romanoff@Black Widow
do not encourage them, she’ll get in the walls too and then i’ll have to deal with two idiots in the walls
>>>>>>>>>BetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
our user is looking pretty good right about now…
*****
threescompany@themoonsystem
jake speaking spanish >>>> - S
>bi-tch@pparker
there is something wrong with you steven
>>threescompany@themoonsystem
I- thanks its the disorder <3 - S
>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
drag himmmmm
>>>>bi-tch@pparker
wait i. fsdjgk no brain
>>>>>LayLow@LittleScarab
nah you were right to call him out, steven wtf
>>>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
alternatively: you speaking arabic >>>>> - S
>>>>>>>LayLow@LittleScarab
yours is pretty good too, though marcs could use a bit of work
>>>>>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
I am trying!!! - M
>>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
so we’ve all just moved on from steven’s comment??? alright alright
*****
paintro@quicksilver
@ScarletWitch yo sis i just realized you and layla are like hero name twins
>colourtheory@ScarletWitch
oh, i guess we are, that’s nice :)
>>LayLow@LittleScarab
scarlet witch and scarlet scarab, it sounds good
>>>paintro@quicksilver
no need to thank me for creating the friendship of a lifetime
>>>>colourtheory@ScarletWitch
you @ ed me on twitter??
>>>>>paintro@quicksilver
i put in the work and i put in the hours
>>>>>>LayLow@LittleScarab
please don’t quote the rock right now
>>>>>>>paintro@quicksilver
it is always the right moment to quote the rock
*****
h.osborn@harry_osborn
i am the definition of that video that goes “i’m not just a bitch, i’m a bitch with a backstory.”
>h.osborn@harry_osborn
wait why are you all quote tweeting this???
>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
oh its talking about the gay trauma carry on
>>>bi-tch@pparker
its moments like this where i think my bf forgets that he’s famous
>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
well i forget that when i’m with you since we like grew up together and all that
>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
elementary school sweethearts <3
>>>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
you’re parents worked for my dad….
>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
irrelevant <3
>>>>>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
you see that’s actually an integral part of the backstory, my dad pawning me off on your parents when he didn’t want to deal with me, because then i spent my life growing up with you <3
>>>>>>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
never let me get like this
*****
webslinger@spideyofficial
breaking your rib like a normal person: boring, overdone
breaking your rib cause you’re a dumbass: showstopping, never been done before, iconic
>webslinger@spideyofficial
anyway i’m gonna be off the next two days, don’t do crime unless you want DD and DP coming after you <3
I worry for you sometimes
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
funnily enough thats what DD and DP say too, DD more scary about it though
>>DD@Daredevil
This is why we listen to me instead of doing stupid things.
>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
i hate to say it but i’m gonna have to agree with devilboy on this one
>>>>DD@Daredevil
I hate that nickname, never use it again.
>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
now i’m just gonna have to use it more :P
>>>>>>DD@Daredevil
Wade.
>>>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
its already your new contact name ♥️
Notes:
tbh this'll probably be the last of the consistent updates for a while because school.. yay, can't wait to feel terrible for the next five months :|
anyway have a great day/night/whenever you're reading this <3
Chapter 15: 2 family pack sized oreos
Notes:
followed some guy in my class on tiktok and am now waiting for the downfall >:)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
webslinger@spideyofficial
ughhhh second semester be hitting really hard right now
>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
it is the second day
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
okay and? doesn’t mean i dont want to crawl into a hole and pretend that school doesn’t exist???
>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
sometimes i forget that spideys still in highschool
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
i literally talk about school all the time????
>>>DD@Daredevil
What they mean is that when you talk about school it seems like college because you’re talking about college level work.
>>>>DD@Daredevil
I would know, I’ve been to college.
>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
me not so much but lol anywayssss devilboy’s right
>>>>>>DD@Daredevil
Please stop.
>>>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
not in a millions years <3
>>>>>>>>hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
what if I called you devilboy????
-mod 2
>>>>>>>>>DD@Daredevil
You’d come back to a cold bed.
>future-ceo@thebabysitter
if you miss nearly two weeks of school again i’m going to lose it
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
okay first of all
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
I was sick three of those days and was staying with DD you know that, kinda had to, it wasn’t like they would have left me go
>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
two of them were because of… other superhero things
>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
that’s only five days
>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
i was sort of hoping that you wouldn’t pick up on that
>>>>>>>thebetterhoblin@hobgobling
you thought that they???? weren’t going to pick up on counting???
>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
okay b a b e yes that was what i was talking about
>>>>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
friendship over
>>>>>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
I thought we were better friends than this
>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
I’m going to pay for this later
>potato-kid@IronLad
HAH imagine
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
okay mx. “sorry i got heir things to do i can’t be bothered to go to school”
>>>potato-kid@IronLad
I am looking really hard right now
>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
shut the fuck up.
*****
threescompany@themoonsystem
back in london right now :D -S
>threescompany@themoonsystem
I’ve convinced marc and jake to go on a few museum tours and I’m living for it!! -S
>>KB@youngerhawkeye
steven you remind me that there is good in the world
>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
painfully ironic but i’ll take it :) -S
the better ste(v/ph)en…..
I have done so much for you and this is how you repay me?
>>>>>[email protected]
uhhhhhhh yeah
>>>>>>[email protected]
ooo america, going for the kill
>>>>>>>BetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
I know Moon Knight can’t really be a young avenger for obvious reasons, but they aren’t an avenger to marc,steven, and jake are immediately superior
>>>>>>>>[email protected]
I…. I don’t agree with your user
>>>>>>>>>Avengers@TheAvengers
I think the user is pretty awesome
>>>>>>>>>>[email protected]☑️
Harley I will take away your access to the avengers account
>>>>>>>>>>>>Avengers@TheAvengers
no please
>>coolsister@betterwidow
have fun in london!
>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
I’ve never met you but thank you! -S
*****
bi-tch@pparker
how does turnabout work when your in a gay relationship????
>bi-tch@pparker
like, neither of us went to homecoming because we were like “uhh maybe no” and i dont really think that turnabout would be any different but this is a question for the table
>>bi-tch@pparker
anyways what are everyones thoughts?
>>>potato-kid@IronLad
last time i went to a school dance was in tennessee and that was very different
>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
midtown does turnabout?????
sadly can’t help but do whatever feels right
what’s a school dance???
>>>cass@Stature
if you end up asking please embarrass harry he needs to be taken down a few pegs
>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
ouch okay
>>>>>cass@Stature
still love you though <3
>>>Loki(He/Him)@sneksneak
which is more gender affirming?
>>>>bi-tch@pparker
lowkey harry asking because like, normally with this kind of dance the girl asks the guy and the thought of people treating me like a girl is ughhhhhhh gross
>>>>>Loki(He/Him)@sneksneak
understandable, talk to your bf
>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
you’re the best :D <3
*****
bi-tch@pparker
alright, since people would like me to explain everything of how i know the young avengers and the other avengers i will explain
>future-ceo@thebabysitter
lol you called them the “other avengers”
>bi-tch@pparker
so i needed money™ and mr. stark lowkey came after me with this grand old opportunity at an internship and because it had lab and again money i said yes because who wouldn’t
>>bi-tch@pparker
i sorta accidentally met the young avengers through harley because they just bring the others around every once and a while because friends :D
>>>bi-tch@pparker
i’ve met the other avengers because i’ve worked on their stuff before since i’m like a personal intern or whatever
>>>>bi-tch@pparker
tldr: i work with stark and stark=avengers
>>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
when you’ve turned against oscorp :(
>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
when i’ve literally had this position for months with your knowledge
>>>>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
my bfs a fraud (just kidding i love you and could never hate you <3)
>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
*sigh* love you too <3
*****
Trending:
#2: Tony Stark
#4: Peter Parker
Trending with Stark Internship
*****
C.Barton@ElderHawkeye
guys I’ve just found out one of the coolest facts about a coworker and I can’t share it but this has made me immensely happy
>KB@youngerhawkeye
dont be shy share in the dms
>>C.Barton@ElderHawkeye
alright, give me a minute to ask them
>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
oh shit wasn’t expecting that but hell yeah
>>>C.Barton@ElderHawkeye
we will know become best friends
*****
Tony has forced this account upon me
>THOR@sonofodin
BRUCE!!!
hello Thor <3
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
the fuck have I been missing???????
>>>>DD@Daredevil
A lot apparently.
Notes:
first full week back and i dont wanna be here, yay
hope y'all have a great day/night/whenever you're reading this <3
Chapter 16: uh let me get uhhh one forever nap
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
paintro@quicksilver
everyday I wake up and I uhhhhhhhhhh
>colourtheory@ScarletWitch
great post, you’re doing amazing
>>paintro@quicksilver
I know you’re being sarcastic but I’ll take the compliment
>webslinger@spideyofficial
lmao me too
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
@hobgoblin the two us waking up after the revamp of the sinister six
>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
will you stop giving the villains cool group names like that, it makes them sound like boy bands
>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
they’re all k-pop bands
>>>>>paintro@quicksilver
wades about to get canceled on twt
>>>>>>C.Barton@ElderHawkeye
I can already see the fancams from here
>>>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
if you honestly think angry teenagers on twt is my biggest threat you have not met colossus
>>>>>>>>paintro@quicksilver
who the hell is colossus
>>>>>>>>>DD@Daredevil
We’ve learned its best if we just ignore Wade when he gets like this.
>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
call xem a cognitohazard
>>>>>>>>>>C.Barton@ElderHawkeye
being around them makes my brain hurt sometimes
*****
KB@youngerhawkeye
“what should we call you” - some reporter who was shoving their mic in my face after I had to help take down kingpin for the 50 time
>KB@youngerhawkeye
the only reason my twt name is “youngerhawkeye” was because a) its not like me and clint could just have the same name and b) because its adorable
>>KB@youngerhawkeye
I am still hawkeye, and so is clint, i’m not anything else so s t o p pleaseeee
>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
omg me too bestie
>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
people out here thinking I support the green goblin in anyway
>>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
nah you’re too cool for that
>>>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
you know it <3
>>>>>>>[email protected]
me too accept I was literally in love with captain novel
>>>>>>>>[email protected]
tho let it be said my dad helped inspire me with my name <3
>>>>>>>>potato-child@IronLad
I wanted to piss of tony
>>>>>>>>>potato-child@IronLad
I mean it worked for like three minutes before he said he was honored and some shit like that
>>>>>>>>>TheBetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
we’re awesome guys, and our hero names reflect that
>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
sucks to suck guys, i’m an original hoe ;)
*****
fiftybelow@WhiteWolf
“Captain America stands for good old tradition values” captain america is a dumbass bitch that i love very much
>Capsicule@CaptainAmerica
Thank you for defending my honor but did you have to call me a dumbass bitch???
>fiftybelow@WhiteWolf
you’re my dumbass bitch
>>fiftbelow@WhiteWolf
okay my shared dumbass bitch but like that’s good enough
bucky shares the braincell in the polycule
>>>>Birdman@Falcon
I would like to disagree
>>>>>[email protected]
I would like to as well
>>>>>>Birdman@Falcon
sit your ass back down I was talking about myself and pepper
>>>>>>>Agent Romanoff@Black Widow
she thanks you for adding her
>>>>>>>>Birdman@Falcon
we all know that without virginia “pepper” potts stark industries would crumble
>>>>>>>>>[email protected]
Did we really have to start shit talking me???
>>>>>>>>>>Capsicule@CaptainAmerica
we all know you can take it as well as you give it
>>>>>>>>>>>[email protected]
the whole polycules against em
>>>>>>>>>>>>Capsicule@CaptainAmerica
wow tragic
*****
scottydoesknow@AntMan
@ElderHawkeye good to know we’re more put together than that
>C.Barton@ElderHawkeye
we most definitely are
>>cass@Stature
idk about that one….
>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
got to hard agree on that one
>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
your guys’ dumbassery just isn’t posted online
>>>>>cass@Stature
yeah you make us all suffer through it in real life :|
>>>>>>scottydoesknow@AntMan
come on you know are family is great
>>>>>>>>cass@Stature
yes but also exhibit A: you got lost in the walls last week
>>>>>>>>>C.Barton@ElderHawkeye
that was an accident and you know it
>>>>>>>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
that was you two being morons
*****
localnurse@drinkuptime
I’m gone for one week!!!
>localnurse@drinkuptime
i was gone for one fucking week and you guys couldn’t keep it together
>>localnurse@drinktuptime
I gave you all my number for a reason a reason!!! when bad things happen and you don’t know what you’re doing you CALL ME
>>>localnurse@drinkuptime
“is it bad if the wound starts getting purple???” YES IT IS you tell someone when that happens
>>>>localnurse@drinkuptime
good to know we all understand why my name is what it is because damn i need a drink
>>>>>>localnurse@drinkuptime
no I don’t hate these fools they’re just the dumbest people i’ve ever met
>DD@Daredevil
To be honest you’ve seen worse.
>>localnurse@drinkuptime
this is not the time to mention that dd
>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
you won’t ever have to patch me up, unless you want to ;)
>>>>localnurse@drinkuptime
I have a bf wade
>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
then i’m just here to make your life easier
>webslinger@spideyofficial
i thought i would be okay :((((
>>localnurse@drinkuptime
i can see your eyes through the screen but you can’t sway me this time
>>>localnurse@drinktuptime
never again
>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
now we all know that’s not the truth
*****
Avengers@TheAvengers
just want you all to know that the password for this account was in fact changed but being the absolute unit that I am I hacked in 😎
please give it up
>>Avengers@TheAvengers
NEVER! :D
>>>Avengers@TheAvengers
do you know how much power this account gives me?? you know how fucking cool I am???
you are one of the least cool people i’ve ever met
>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
bro makes potato guns for a living 😐
>>>>>>Avengers@TheAvengers
am i really out here getting bullied by my own team? guys we’re on the same side
>>>>>>>[email protected]
that’s what being an avengers all about
>>>>>>>>[email protected]
that and knowing that half the population will hate you at any time
>>>>>>>>>[email protected]
Yeah there’s no real winning in this game
>>>>>>>>>>fiftybelow@WhiteWolf
but we’re cool as fuck so it doesn’t really matter
>>>>>>>>>>>Avengers@TheAvengers
my heart was broken, repaired, and then I was violently smacked across the face
Notes:
life is h i t t i n g but it'll be fine, i wrote three different chapters for three different fics and now I'm about to go rewatch captain America or some shit
have a great day/night/whenever you're reading this <3
Chapter 17: victor frankenstein kinny
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
nodeathhere@exmerc<3
i’m against kidnapping because kids are annoying
>webslinger@spideyofficial
opposed to the idea that kidnapping is immoral
>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
don’t try to talk morals with me spidey we all know that i mostly dont follow those
>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
i mean look at my previous jobs ;)
>>>>DD@Daredevil
Wade, every single time you say something I wonder if I should allow you to be around Spidey.
>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
I am almost an adult but go off I guess
>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
also I used the word “almost” very loosely
>>>>>>>>DD@Daredevil
Talk to me when you aren’t studying for a high school biology test.
>>>>>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
hey! spideys a smart boy we don’t dis him
>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
I am more of an adult then most of the people I know
>>>>>>>>>>>local-nurse@drinkuptime
I will say, out of all the vigilantes I know, you can be one of the more mature ones
>>>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
TAKE THAT BITCH
*****
bi-tch@pparker
hey couple thousand of strangers that follow me, you up for a rant about a book we’re reading in my lit class :D
>future-ceo@thebabysitter
“couple thousand” he says as if that’s not hundreds of thousands of people
>>bi-tch@pparker
shhhhh
>h.osborn@harry_osborn
I love listening/reading you rant <3
>>bi-tch@pparker
alright so frankenstein right? that monster bitch except everyones like “oh the doctor is frankenstein” which is like okay yeah ig but he was fucking NINETEEN
>>>bi-tch@pparker
he wasn’t a fucking doctor he wouldn’t have even finished his bachelors degree when he made the creature and everyone should talk about that because skjghasdf college student victor being a quirked up white boy
>>>>bi-tch@pparker
but really both of them are the monster because obviously the creature is like a monster because he’s literally an mish mash of a bunch of different dead body parts but victor is a monster too because he made the thing and also he’s mad from his experiments
>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
they together make the monster and without each other they cant survive or have purpose because spoiler alert they both fucking die in the end (ha reference lmao)
>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
but victor is my little creature and i love him. oh to be a mad scientist in the victorian era (yes i know its the 1790s in the novel but something about it just fits for the victorian era)
>>>>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
are you simping after another fucking characters from gothic literature???
>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
yes i am
>>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
also you say this all as if you would not be a perfect little mad scientist in the victorian era….
>>>>>>>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
are you calling me sickly?
>>>>>>>>>>>bi-tch_pparker
….no?
>>>>>>>>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
oh shit peters types finally out? we’re surprised about this???
*****
potato_kid@IronLad
on all levels except physical I am inside tony starks lab
Just walk in???
>>potato_kid@IronLad
so funny story I actually got locked out
>>>potato_kid@IronLad
also not so funny story ummm me and shuri may not have accidentally deactivated friday….
>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
you guys are my favorite people in the entire world
>>>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
right in front of my fucking salad
>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
you’re my favorite person in the universe <3
>>>>>>>>>DD@Daredevil
Nice save kid.
>>>>[email protected]☑️
How the hell did you even manage to do that???
>>>>>potato_kid@IronLad
shit happens man can you please let me back in :((((
>>>>>>[email protected]☑️
You know what, no, you’re going to live with the actions of your consequences
>>>>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
HA fucking loser
>>>>>>>>C.Barton@ElderHawkeye
do not try to act like you have not made some pretty dumb decisions
*****
life is great until i ask to hang out and turns out everyone else is in school :|
>cass@Stature
okay miss “oh i’m from a different universe I don’t need to go to school i’m cool like that”
>>KB@youngerhawkeye
you don’t go to school????
no? i mean, the most “school” i do is when i’m working on magic stuff
For reference, she did have schooling before so she’s not completely oblivious to all of it
>>>>>[email protected]
I’m offended, I am not oblivious to things
>>>>>>BetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
hey america where’s portugal
>>>>>>>[email protected]
shut the hell up
>>>>>>>>Loki(She/He)@sneksneak
america…. I’m not even from earth and I know the answer to that
>>>>>>>>>[email protected]
different universe things lmao
>>>>>>>>>>[email protected]
you cant laugh away that pain
>>>>>>>>>>>[email protected]
you bet i’ll try though <3
*****
colourtheory@ScarletWitch
shout out to my moronic brother who - when vision was having trouble because they needed replacements - said “turn them on and off”
>paintro@quicksilever
IT WAS A FUCKING JOKE
>>01110110@Vision
I will admit, it was quite funny.
>>>coolsister@betterwidow
i mean… did you try?
>>>>colourtheory@ScarletWitch
that isn’t what this is about
>>>>>coolsister@betterwidow
you definitely did
>>>>>>01110110@Vision
She did.
>>>>>>>paintro@quicksilver
wow look at me being right
>>>>>>>>paintro@quicksilver
not so much of a joke now is it?
>>>>>>>>>01110110@Vision
I am an android, things like this happen.
>>>>>>>>>>colourtheory@ScarletWitch
pietro i will magic your mouth shut
>>>>>>>>>>>paintro@quicksilver
won’t stop me from tweeting it ;)
*****
scottydoesknow@Antman
a story in three parts
>scottydoesknow@Antman
I walk into Avengers tower. I see the princess of Wakanda with a sadistic smile on her face. I walk out of Avengers tower
>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
my girlfriend is better than your girlfriend
>>>scottdoesknow@Antman
you’re 17???
>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
that doesn’t make it any less true
>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
you’re dating the princess of wakanda??
>>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
my girlfriends are the best two in the world <3
>>>>>>>scottydoesknow@Antman
I’m gonna log off of twitter for the day
Notes:
the cycle is: we read a book in English, i obsess over it, i join fandom
have a great day/night/whenever you're reading this <3
Chapter 18: merthur are soulmates, in this essay I will
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
bi-tch@pparker
you know that wizard show from the late 2000s that was super gay but didn’t want to admit it
>h.osborn@harry_osborn
omfg here he goes again
>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
YES i remember it
>>>bi-tch@pparker
@harry_osborn why can’t you be more like gwen sometimes
>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
when your bf compares you to his ex gf
>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
💀we get it you’re petty
>bi-tch@pparker
anyway before i was so rudely interrupted
>>bi-tch@pparker
the bbc really set up for magic to be this awesome metaphor for queer identity and then said “uhhh actually it means nothing so…”
>>>bi-tch@pparker
then they aired the finale on CHRISTMAS EVE imagine these poor “british” people turning on the tv only to find that the bbc had fucking murked king arthur 💀
>>>>bi-tch@pparker
they did so much wacky shit on that show and i ate it up, i do not care if we used to same horrible cgi as 2008 i want to see merlin and arthur in the modern day doing their monster of the week routine
>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
omg i just realized I have a type when it comes to tv shows
>>>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
wait you just realized that????
>>>>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
Anyone could have told you that one.
>>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
honesty shitty “monster of the week” shows really get me going
>>>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
also the two main characters are always in love
>>>>>>>>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
when he’s in his toxic shipper era>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
when was he never not in that era
>bi-tch@pparker
anyway the gay wizard show is on youtube (every episode) completely for free so enjoy <3
***** idiot_two@thehotlawyer
me and matt should get married
>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
We’re not already?
>>pagesandpages@functioningnotlawyer
two sides of the same coin
>>>pagesandpages@functioningnotlawyer
anyway foggy i’ll be your maid of honor/best man
>>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
of course <3
>>>>>>local-nurse@drinkuptime
that would be the most disastrous wedding to ever happen
>>>>>>>local-nurse@drinkuptime
i better be invited
>>>>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
I’ll personally send you an invitation.
>>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
wait are you guys actually gonna get married then???
>>>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
@exmerc<3 is the alliteration trio gonna be over?????
>>>>>>>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
it better not be
>>>>>>>>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
I won’t ruin the trio.
*****
i want to learn to crochet so I can make 1. a bunch of cute stuffed animals and 2. to make those rectangle hats that end up looking like cat ears
that is all thank you for coming to my tedtalk
>>Missy@Ms. America
didn’t that meme die like three years ago
you weren’t even in this universe until like seven months ago so shushhhhh
>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
imagine learning to crochet
>>>>>BetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
you build things for a living so that’s like mechanical crochet
>>>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
never say that to me ever again
>KB@youngerhawkeye
ignoring all the dumbasses in the replies, i completely support <3
>>KB@youngerhawkeye
i’ll give you twenty if you can make me a hat too
you don’t have to pay me but of course <3
see what happens when we work together guys
>>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
we’re avengers does it look like we actually work well together
>>>>>>Avengers@TheAvengers
re-fucking-tweet
>>>>>>>>[email protected]☑️
Every time I threaten to take the account away and then you go and pull stuff like this again
>>>>>>>>>Avengers@TheAvengers
you can never kick me off of it
anyway, anyone that has tutorials send them my way <3
*****
threescompany@themoonsystem
pov: jake tells you that there’s actually a fortune in the bank that he forgot to tell you about - Steven
>threescompany@themoonsytem
I was out here thinking I was going to lose my flat back in london for months! - Steven
>>LayLow@LittleScarab
how did you think you were affording that place
>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
I have no idea but knowing I had enough money would have really calmed my nerves 🧍- Steven
>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
there was no way you were ever going to afford that apartment with the salary of a giftshoppist - Marc
>>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
I am now greatly offended >:( - Steven
>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
if you three argue on twt with nearly every interaction then how much do you guys argue in real life
>>>>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
cada dia peter, cada dia…. - Jake
*****
webslinger@spideyofficial
“the vigilantes have caused so many problems in the past decade” >webslinger@spideyofficial
i dont care if the vigilantes murked people in their free time they are like a family to me
>>DD@Daredevil
Do you know how many of us have no kill rules now?
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
its because i’m a good influence
>>>>DD@Daredevil
Actually it’s because of trauma but you can think that if you want to.
>>>>>>hellsfinest@daredevilesbesties
spidey collects wayward family figures like pokemon cards
mod 1
>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
you’re not wrong I just hate that you’re right
>>>>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
spidey is like a younger brother/son to many of us
>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
i don’t have the best track record with father figures 💀
>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
cause you know my dad really put the dead in deadbeat
>>>>>>>>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
me too bestie <3
*****
fiftybelow@WhiteWolf
my hobbies include going to museums with my life on exhibit and putting up post notes that say “this bitch is gay”
>Capsicule@CaptainAmerica
is that why you keep going back to the history museum??
>>Birdman@Falcon
funniest boyfriend in the entire world
>>>fiftybelow@WhiteWolf
@T.Stark did you hear that ;)
>>>>[email protected]☑️
he’s not dating me so therefore I am the funniest in my own polycule
>>>>>Birdman@Falcon
we’ll agree to disagree
>>>>>>>[email protected]
no I’m pretty sure that Sam is funnier
>>>>>>>>>[email protected]☑️
betrayed once more how will I go on
>>>>>>>>>>Capsicule@CaptainAmerica
I think you’ll manage
Notes:
got into university!!! yes i am announcing this in every fic i write because its awesome, still waiting on a lot of replies from other schools but this was amazing :D
hope y'all have a great day/night/whenever you're reading this <3
Chapter 19: gayer than a pack of monkeys on nitrous oxide
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
webslinger@spideyofficial
listening to hozier at three am just to feel something
>webslinger@spideyofficial
this is not a lie but fdsgkj do you ever listen to a song and you associate it with a person so much that listening to it makes you really happy???
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
like yes its three in the morning and i should be sleeping but instead i’m listening to hozier and its sad but skfjdfkjskj would that I is making me all giddy
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
i just love him so much and this song reminds me of him just ahhhh
>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
lmao i just realized they’ll probably see this in the morning that’s awkward oh well
>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
god i so gay, i get so caught up in that that i forget i’m actually bi
>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
wait stop quote tweeting the last bit this is too awkward nowwwww
*****
bettergoblin@hobhoblin
yes my boyfriend is an idiot and yes i love him this has been my post for the day
>webslinger@spideyofficial
aww they love me <3
>>bettergoblin@hobgoblin
as if this wasn’t established already but whatever
>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
oh shit he showed emotions now they won’t express them for another three weeks
>>>>bettergoblin@hobgoblin
i show my emotions all the time tf??
>>>>>[email protected]
uhhh actually we would all like to disagree with you
>>>>>>bettergoblin@hobgoblin
wow I try to make a nice post about my boyfriend and now i’m getting attacked /j
>>>>>>>bettergoblin@hobglobin
guess i’m never going to say anything nice ever again
>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
no D:
>>>>>>>>>>>bettergoblin@hobgoblin
turn that frown upside down i hate seeing you sad
>>>>>>>>>>>>cass@Stature
he’s on his feels again
*****
idiot_two@thehotlawyer
how do we feel about a spring wedding
>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
Shit, Peter’s going to have my head now.
>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
…. you didn’t text him yet????
>>bi-tch@pparker
I DID NOT JUST LEARN MY NEW TWO FATHER FIGURES ARE GETTING MARRIED THROUGH FUCKING TWT
>>>pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
the fact that you were able to spell all of that right while being mad is commemorable
>>>>bi-tch@pparker
i’m angry not illiterate
>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
I meant to tell you, but then we got this new case and it slipped my mind.
>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
i live with you
>>>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
It’s a really big case.
>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
there are no excuses! I am appalled by your behavior
>>>>>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
petey found out after me???
>>>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
WADE KNEW BEFORE ME????
>>>>>>>>>>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
to be fair, xe did nearly crash the proposal
>>>>>>>>>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
that’s because matty boy was stupid about it
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
i can’t disagree with that one
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
I was trying my best okay.
*****
Loki(He/Him)@sneksneak
who the hell told peter there was a frankenstein musical
>Loki(He/Him)@sneksneak
yes i know peter, its through internship stuff
>>bi-tch@pparker
its good let me enjoy the modern prometheus without being judged
>>>cass@Stature
judge him please
he’s not being that bad about it
>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
i’m gonna judge him along side you
>>>>>[email protected]
only i’m allowed to judge peter
>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
i’m getting mixed messages from you….
>>>>>>>[email protected]
love you too <3
>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
peter if you play that song one more time I’m going to actually lose it
>>>>bi-tch@pparker
i’m gonna play it one more time
>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
don’t you dare
>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
it’s playing~
>>>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
that’s it
>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
what are you gonna do gwen? what could you possible do hmmmm
>>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
HOW THE FUCK DID THEY GET HERE SO FAST??!??
>>>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
tell my boyfriend i love them, tell matt he’s a bitch, and give foggy my twt login to get a good tweet going through
>>>>>>>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
not even a mention of me?? smh
*****
nodeathhere@exmerc<3
nothing makes me feel more joy than seeing that my tumblr post has popped off
>DD@Daredevil
Don’t make me think of that horrible place.
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
still mad we made that account for you >:)
>>>DD@Daredevil
Every single day I get notifications from that place and I hate it.
>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
you cant just delete the app?
>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
if they tried I would just redownload it
>>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
that is coldddd spidey
>>>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
i like it
>>>>>>>>DD@Daredevil
I don’t.
>>>>>>>>>DD@Daredevil
I think we should all agree that I can delete the app.
>>>>>>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
how are you going to see all your adoring fans
>>>>>>>>>>>DD@Daredevil
There are no fans there.
*****
nobody told me the song i’ve been listening to for the past two weeks has been from fucking meet the robinsons
>future-ceo@thebabysitter
fucking loser
i didn’t know!!!!!!
>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
still gonna call you a loser from listening to a song from meet the robinsons
>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
that movie was hella good we’re not dissing it
>>>>BetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
seems like i have our next poll ready to go
>>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
obviously the people will understand that that movie was an underrated masterpiece
>>>>>>[email protected]
ehh it was decent
>>>>>>>[email protected]
what movie is this
>>>>>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
obviously one that we’re gonna watch together now
>>>>>>>>>>[email protected]
i now know how kamala feels when her posts get derailed
>>>>>>>>>>>>[email protected]
uhhh did you see my last post??? this is tame compared to that
>>>>>>>>>>>>>Loki(They/Them)@sneksneak
we can change that
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>[email protected]
let’s not do that
Notes:
now that i've finished my long term fics i want to start another one where i write a 6th season of merlin, gods help me
hope y'all have a great day/night/whenever you're reading this <3
Chapter 20: im finna be in the pit
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
potato-kid@IronLad
hate to say it (lmao not really) but nick and charlie are just the 21st century variants of arthur and merlin
>potato-kid@IronLad
yes this is because someone has forced me into watching merlin with them…
>>potato-kid@IronLad
but anyway both are light hair + dark hair
>>>potato-kid@IronLad
that bi/gay relationship (merthur is headcanons but nick/charlie is canon)
>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
I could keep going on but i’ve seen fanart of it and just akjfghkfjdh i’m so fucking lonely
>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
ha! single bitch
>>>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
>:( you’re really gonna do this so close to valentines day
>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
harls i make fun of you all the time this isn’t gonna stop it
>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
and to be fair you brought up being single first
>>>>>>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
oh shit you’re right
>>>>>>>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
why did I do that????
>>>>>>>>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
because you are an idiot :)
>>>>>>>>>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
shitttt i got his boyfriend to come after me now
*****
BetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
shout out to all the single folk this valentine’s day no matter why that’s the case, you’re awesome and amazing and don’t forget to take advantage of the valentine’s day sales on chocolate
>KB@youngerhawkeye
i feel seen
>>potato-kid@IronLad
you want to raid the local target with me?
>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
oh you know i do
first full year in this universe and i don’t know what valentines day is
you didn’t have it in your universe??
nah so i’m sorta out of the loop
you can hang out with me, bruno, and nakia, we always watch stupid romcoms together and stock up on chocolate <3
>>>>>[email protected]
sounds fun :)
>webslinger@spideyofficial
waittttt
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
@hobgoblin are we the only not single people on the team???
>>>Loki(She/They)@sneksneak
uhhh sure let’s go with that
>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
loki. let’s be honest you are simply a honorary member
>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
aren’t you like a couple thousand years old or something???
>>>>>>Loki(She/They)@sneksneak
let’s not get that much into it
>>>>>>Loki(She/They@sneksneak
so yeah you two are the only couple on the team
>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
hah nice :]
>>>>>>>>BetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
take that horrible emoji out of here
>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
you :] can’t :] stop :] me :]
>>>>>>>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
don’t worry i’ll delete twt from his phone
>>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
please don’t what will i do with myself
>>>>>>>>>>>>cass@Stature
you know what, i think i get what older people say when they call us dependent on our phones
*****
idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
Going on a silly little walk for my silly little mental health.
>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
who are you and what the hell have you done with matthew murdock
>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
Fogs, I can assure you I’m Matt.
>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
liar! the matt i know wouldn’t do anything to better himself in that way
>>>>pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
it hurts but its true
>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
I’m glad to know you guys have so much faith in me.
>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
matt we all know you’re “therapy” is all you’ve got going for you
>>>>>>>pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
damnnnn got taken down by your own kid
>>>>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
How could you do this to me Peter?
>>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
this i nowhere near how bad i could be
*****
nodeathhere@exmerc<3
@pparker GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE PETER >:(
>bi-tch@pparker
oh no the look of displeasure from dp???
>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
how long were you going to keep this from me? how long was i going to suffer???
>>>bi-tch@pparker
wade what are you talking about?
>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
@reallygoodlawyer he’s been lying to us this entire time
>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
Oh God, Wade’s being dramatic again.
>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
great, so i’m not the only one confused here
>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
please explain wade
>>>>>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
YOURE NOT REALLY A PART OF THE ALLITERATION GANG
>>>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
what are you talking about?? my name is literally Peter Parker. i haven’t suffered with some of the worst initials in the world to not be a part of the alliteration gang
>>>>>>>>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
hmm we have matthew Michael murdock and wade Winston wilson!!! and what about you??? that’s right peter BENJAMIN parker, how could you how could you?????
>>>>>>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
oh my fucking god you know whyyyyy i named myself that for a reason
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
no more alliteration gang >:(
*****
paintro@quicksilver
bitches be like i know a place and then take you to the mystery flesh pit national park
>fifitybelow@WhiteWolf
hey uhhh wtf does this mean?
>>paintro@quicksilver
I’m talking about my number one date destination
>>>paintro@quicksilver
me and the bae will be going down into the pits and using those telephoto lenses to observe the organisms
>>>>colourtheory@ScarletWitch
here xe goes again, talking abou the flesh pit national park 🙄
>>>>>fiftybelow@WhiteWolf
did I miss some more things then expected in the past hundred years??? what the hell are you talking about???
>>>>>paintro@quicksilver
wow, he doesn’t even know
>>>>>>colourtheory@ScarletWitch
we’re immigrants and even we know about the park
>>>>>>>paintro@quicksilver
just another day of americans not knowing their history
>>>>>>>>fiftybelow@WhiteWolf
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN????
>>>>>>>>>>Capsicule@CaptainAmerica
they’re talking about the park Bucky
>>>>>>>>>>>fiftybelow@WhiteWolf
oh god not you too
Notes:
its literally only 9 and i'm exhausted rip :')
guess I'm just gonna go watch season 4 of merlin and try not to focus on the fact that the diamond of the day is coming up ahhhhh
hope y'all have a great day/night/whenever you're reading this <3
Chapter 21: i screwed up i know
Notes:
sry for this being a day late, i was out at the mall yesterday and cause of the three day weekend got my times screwed up
we'll be back to your regular scheduled content next week <3
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
webslinger@spideyofficial
I may be cringe, but I am free
>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
sir that’s such an unoriginal tweet
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
>:( i am in fact cringe tho, that makes me free
>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
you’re cringe all right….
>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
what the fuck is that supposed to mean >:( /j
>>>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
love you know exactly what it means
>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
tsk tsk tsk youre pretty bad at communication my dear
>>>>>>>>>cass@Stature
omfg you two are so annoying
>>>>>>>>>>[email protected]
i think they’re pretty cute <3
>>>>>>>>>>>cass@Stature
hmmm nah pretty annoying
*****
KB@youngerhawkeye
@Stature have you ever noticed that you and claire from supernatural look pretty similar
>scottydoesknow@Antman
huh, you kinda do
>>cass@Stature
you said you would keep that between us
>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
how was i supposed to know scott was gonna see it
>>>>cass@Stature
YOU POSTED IT ON TWT!!!???
>>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
okay and????
>>>>>>cass@Stature
you knowww that he has tweet notification on for me
>>>>>>>scottydoesknow@Antman
that’s for your own good
>>>>>>>>Clint.B@ElderHawkeye
we’re finally going to bring up the oddly similar appearances
>>>>>>>>>cass@Stature
oh fuck not you too
>>>>>>>>>>Clint.B@ElderHawkeye
that’s cause I have notification on for kate
>>>>>>>>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
wait what????
>>>>>>>>>>>>scottydoesknow@Antman
you two shouldn’t be that surprised
>>>>>>>>>>>>>Clint.B@ElderHawkeye
we’re dating and you didn’t think we were going to talk about two of the most important people in our lives????
*****
hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
we’re back and ohhh boy do we have some things to share about hells kitchens favorite vigilante
mod 2
>DD@Daredevil
Why would you do this to me?
>>hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
why wouldn’t we??
-mod 2
>>hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
anyway, so every once and a while i’ll come home and see a bunch of vigilantes in the apartment, usually its just webs and dp but today it was different
-mod 2
>>>hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
i walk in, ready to relax after a late night in the office and whos there but fucking captain america
>>>>hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
CAPTAIN AMERICA IN MY HOUSE?!!?? i dont think i’m ever going to recover from this
>>>>>DD@Daredevil
He’s trying to recruit me again.
>>>>>>hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
and this bitch says NO, why the hell would you ever say that??? hun you could be an avengerrrr and you always say nooooo
mod 2
>>>>>>>DD@Daredevil
I have more important things like protecting my area.
>>>>>>>>hellsfinest@daredevilsbesties
they says like they don’t travel outside of the kitchen with spidey half the time
-mod 1
>>>>>>>>>DD@Daredevil
The kid needs help, then I’m going to help him.
>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
awwww he does care for me
>>>>>>>>>>>DD@Daredevil
You’re on thin ice after last night.
>>>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
hmm you nearly fall off a building one time and suddenly you’re a clumsy fool
>>>>>>>>>>>>>DD@Daredevil
It was thirty stories
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
irrelevant
*****
paintro@quicksilver
colin morgan, that’s it that’s the tweet
>paintro@quicksilver
perfect in every role
>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
shut up shut up shut up shut up
>>>bi-tch@pparker
YOU BET YOUR ASS COLIN MORGAN
>>>>bi-tch@pparker
i would die for that man
>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
you also said you would die for a smores poptart so i dont believe you
>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
i was as serious as a heart attack
>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
he’s got you too??? he’s stringing you into this??????
>>>>paintro@quicksilver
he was very charismatic
>>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
did you…. did you just quote a tiktok audio at me???
>>>>>>colourtheory@ScarletWitch
dont listen to xem, xyr a idiot
>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
no he has taste keep listening to xem
>>>>>>>>paintro@quicksilver
seeee i have taste >:)
>>>>>>>>>colourtheory@ScarletWitch
want to talk about the andy griffin show?
>>>>>>>>>>paintro@quicksilver
my lips are suddenly sealed
>>>>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
i’m going to get that story
*****
nodeathhere@exmerc<3
any hero that’s persona is framed around an animal is secretly a furry
>fiftybelow@WhiteWolf
@Falcon
>>Birdman@Falcon
shut your fucking mouth
>webslinger@spideyofficial
there’s no shame in furries
>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
agreed, but still….
>cass@Stature
I would like to resign from the young avengers /hj
HAH LOSER
>>>BetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
why are furries the thing that you know about??
>C.Barton@ElderHawkeye
👀 @Black Widow @betterwidow
>>coolsister@betterwidow
you are a confident confident man clint barton
*****
threescompany@themoonsystem
me walking into the avengers tower for the first time: he’s in the walls - steven
>LayLow@LittleScarab
which one???
>>threescompany@themoonsystem
more like which one isn’t in the walls - steven
>>>webslinger@spideyoffficial
its a fun place to hang out
>>>>potato-child@Ironlad
and he calls me a traitor 🧍
>>KB@youngerhawkeye
there’s some women in the walls too, don’t forget about us
>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
my deepest apologies hawkeye - steven
>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
they’ve roped you in too??? - marc
>>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
clint said it was part of the initiation
>>>>>>DD@Daredevil
@daredevilsbesties Now do you two understand, its like a cult.
>>>>>>>[email protected]☑️
A cult of wonder and amazement
>>>>>>>>Capsicule@CaptainAmerica
Not helping the case Tones
>>>>>>>>>[email protected]☑️
I’m trying my best alright
>>>LayLow@LittleScarab
reading through this makes me worry for you three
>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
i’m really doubting us working with the avengers - jake
>>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
says the one that made us work with an egyptian god again - steven
>>>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
we all agree on it now though - jake
Notes:
today simultaneously went on for far longer than normal and also felt super short - what the hell is time anyway
hope y'all have a great day/night/whenever you're reading this <3
Chapter 22: i dont even know what day it is anymore
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
why is my fyp filled with the dead gay wizards from the 70s???? i don’t even like harry potter
>webslinger@spideyofficial
says the one who read the entire series but go off i guess
>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
i also had to read the importance of being earnest in english that doesn’t mean i enjoyed it
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
maybe its a sign
>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
and just like the signs of childhood trauma i’ve elected to ignore it
>future-ceo@thebabysitter
are you gonna read all the young dudes
>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
fuck no! if i’m going to put myself through reading some heart wrenching angst i at least what the reassurance that there’s going to be a happy ending
>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
and i can read the goddamn major character death tag i’m not doing that to myself
its 2023 we look our for out mental health in fandom spaces <3
>>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
ive had the mcd tag filtered out for years
>>>>>>[email protected]
as you should!
>>>>>>>Loki(He/They)@sneksneak
maybe you guys are just cowards
>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
okay siding with the bf on this one
>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
you cant talk when you’ve faked your death like 50 times
>>>>>>>>>>THOR@sonofodin
I think the correct number around 3 actually
>>>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
thats three too many
>>>>>>>>>>>>>Loki(He/They)@sneksneak
what can i say i live for drama
*****
idiot_two@thehotlawyer
never thought I’d find myself crying reading a celtic mythology book but here we are
>pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
you read??? mythology???
>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
a man can have hobbies karen
>>>pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
I apologize for being so shocked
>>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
I accept your apology <3
>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
drop the line loser
>>bi-tch@pparker
wade you cried while watching minions you have no room to talk
>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
it was emotional!
>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
Wade we’ve talked about this, only I’m allowed to insult my fiance.
>>>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
okay ignoring the dumpster fire that i just witnessed (love you too matt)
>>>>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
the line was “but, even as it stands ruined, it is a mighty quarry from which poets yet unborn will hew spiritual marble for houses not made with hands.”
>>>>>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
and that shit hurt in a good way but it still hurt
>>>>>>>>>pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
okay erase everything i just said before, that line does hit hard
>>>>>>>>>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
I KNOW!!!
>>>>>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
author just casually dropped the hardest line in a mythology book ever
>>>>>>>>>>>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
homer could never /j
*****
webslinger@spideyofficial
everyone thinking i cant fit my hyperfixations into everything:
me seeing the word clotpole in king lear: omg guys!
>webslinger@spideyofficial
okay replies i understand it was a word before it was in merlin but let me tell you
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
the way that play is written makes it seem like it must predate arthurian legend which would be like the 6th century and the fool must be fucking merlin because he just says merlins prophecy
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
and he is an advisor to the king whilst also mocking him the entire time
>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
lear is uther pendragon, the fool is merlin, and merlin is as always his snarky bitchy self
>>>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
oh spidey do i have a treat for you in this book i’m reading
>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
:O am i right?????
>>>>>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
guess you’re going to have to see
>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
screw the secret history and telling people not to just live for the aesthetics i am living the academic dream rn
>>>>>>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
you have now made my bf even more insufferable, thanks for that /lh
>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
they say like i wasn’t ranting about this to him earlier in the day
>>>>>>>>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
and now i’ll sit through the rant twice
>>>>>>>>>>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
this time with cited evidence
*****
cass@Stature
hes in your bed, im in our dms telling you how i would go back in the past, take pictures of the answers to history’s greatest questions with an iphone and then come back to the present and tell you all about it
@Dr.Strange 👀
Don’t even think about it
Time is a fickle thing that shouldn’t be messed with less we completely ruin everything in the present and future
>>>>Loki(She/He)@sneksneak
sounds like something a loser would say :/
>>>>>>[email protected]
I am not a loser for worrying about the possible effects of messing with time
>>>>>>>[email protected]☑️
well if we use quantum traveling…
>>>>>>>>[email protected]
Shut. Your. Mouth.
>>>>>>>>>[email protected]☑️
turns out my boyfriend is a loser
>>>>>>>>>>>Loki(She/He)@sneksneak
ew me and stark agreed on something
>>>>>>>>>>>>>fiftybelow@WhiteWolf
eww me and loki agreed on something
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Loki(She/He)@sneksneak
i would be annoyed but i’m just surprised you acknowledged my existence
>TheBetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
does it have to be an iphone though???
>>cass@Stature
this entire mess of a thread and that’s the part you end up focussing on???
>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
got to say, hes got his priorities straight
>>>>cass@Stature
fine! any kind of smartphone, but i really just want to see the hanging gardens of babylon, i just know they would have been beautiful
>>>>>TheBetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
ah i see you’re a person of taste
Notes:
i need to write my bio lab intro by tmr... rip ig
Chapter 23: dorian gray more like dorian ga-
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
webslinger@spideyofficial
got to visit college campuses today, really feeling it
>webslinger@spideyoffcial
lmao guess y’all forgot that i’m a high schooler
>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
me too bestie <3
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
damn i got downgraded to bestie
>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
i will now be taking partner applications
>>>>potato-kid@Ironlad
i’ll apply
>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
relationship ended with hobgoblin now ironlad is my bf 😘
>>>>>>cass@Stature
so it seems like you have a type…
>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
tf do you mean????? /gen
>>>>>>>>cass@Stature
superhero he/they’s
>>>>>>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
holy shit you’re right
>>>>>>>>>>potato-kid@Ironlad
:O bro we’re banding together now
>>>>>>>>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
when you realize his ex was a she/they….
>>>>>>>>>>>>potato-kid@Ironlad
HOLY FUCK YOJRE RIGHT
>>>>>>>>>>>>>potato-kid@Ironlad
@spideyofficial we’ve figured it out
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
i’m honestly having a mental breakdown right now you guys don’t even know
*****
idiot_two@thehotlawyer
i feel like my own child is growing up, i didn’t know when we took pete in as a intern that this would happen
>bi-tch@pparker
i literally live with you most of the time 🧍♂️
>>bi-tch@pparker
i guess that’s another father figure down the drain
>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlaywer
What did we say about the dad jokes?
>>>>bi-tch@pparker
*sigh* that i can only make them about the abandoned/dead ones
>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
And Foggy and I are neither of those things so hush.
>>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
so you both have accepted the dad title….
>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
told them it was a bad idea because of what happens to my father figures but they wouldn’t listen :/
>>>>>>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
we aren’t going to leave you
>>>>>>>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
or die, we aren’t doing that either
>>>>>>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
We’ll try our bests.
>>>>>>>>>>>pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
great encouragement matt :|
>>>>>>>>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
Well I’m not going to lie.
*****
Loki(She/They)@sneksneak
me reading catcher in the rye: omg he’s just like me for real for real
>THOR@sonofodin
you aren’t in any rye??
>>Loki(She/They)@sneksneak
the book doesn’t really take place in a rye field brother….
>>>Loki(She/They)@sneksneak
anyway holden may be a sarcastic, bitchy, teenager but i basically am anyway too so <3
how are you a teenager arent you like a couple thousand years old???
>>>>>Loki(She/They)@sneksneak
well, aging is different when you’re a god so in like god years i’m 18-19
>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
omfg so thats why she’s in the young avengers
>>>>>>>Loki(She/They)@sneksneak
aren’t you supposed to be very smart or something like that?
>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
i-
>>>>>>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
OMFG THEY TOOK YOU OUT SKJGKFH
>>>>>>>>>>BetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
damnnnn dont know how you’re going to recover from that one webs
>>>>>>>>>>>[email protected]
guess we’re going to need to find a replacement for spidey smh
>>>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
*gasp* nobody could replace me
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>potato-kid@Ironlad
mmmmm i dont know about that one
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyoffficial
shut you’re fucking mouth
*****
colourtheory@ScarletWitch
fuck henry wotton all my friends hate henry wotton
>Loki(She/They)@sneksneak
you’re so right for that
>>colourtheory@ScartletWitch
if he had kept his mouth shut around dorian then everything would have been good!
>>>colourtheory@ScarletWitch
dorian and basil could have been happy and the world would have been grand!!!!
>>>>Loki(She/They)@sneksneak
we should start a book club for this
>>>>>colourtheory@ScarletWitch
oh that sounds lovely
>>>>>>Loki(She/They)@sneksneak
lets do it <3
*****
bi-tch@pparker
nothing says love like making a pinterest board for your pseudo fathers who are arguing over a wedding theme <3
>h.osborn@harry_osborn
wait add me as a co-creator i want to contribute
>>bi-tch@pparker
but these are my emotional support parents
>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
aren’t all parents supposed to be for emotional support??
>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
look at gwen and her healthy parental relationships
>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
it makes me sick /j
>>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
sometimes i forget that i’m like the most mentally well out of the three of us
>>>>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
you’re the glue that keeps us together
>>>>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
sometimes it feels like that “mama y papa” audio from tiktok
>>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
they say as if their nickname isn’t the babysitter 💀
>>>>>>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
its a very complex relationship
>>>>>>>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
anyway add me as a co-creator too so i can oversee what’s going on
>>>>>>>>>>>>pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
are we talking about pinterest? sign me up
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
everyone out here really trying to rain on my parade
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
and yet i now see my name on the board so what of it
*****
BetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
welcome back to this week's installment of “are we really more put together than the avengers”
>BetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
as always the answer is always no
>>Avengers@TheAvengers
trust me you guys are
>>>[email protected]☑️
what did I say about bad mouthing the avengers on the official account
>>>>Avengers@TheAvengers
….not to
>>>>>[email protected]☑️
and yet here you are, doing exactly what I said not to do
>>>>>>BetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
I take it back we’re obviously superior
>>>>>>>Avengers@TheAvengers
glad i could be of service <3
>>>>>>>>[email protected]☑️
I will make it impossible for you to log into that account ever again
>>>>>>>>>Avengers@TheAvengers
and who would keep up your social media presence then huh? which intern are you going to pass it off too??? that’s right nobody because i’m the best and my tweets are always bangers
>>>>>>>>>>C.Barton@ElderHawkeye
hate to say it but I don’t know a single person that would agree with you on that one harley
>>>>>>>>>>>Avengers@TheAvengers
wooooow guess who’s getting kicked off the following list now
>>>>>>>>>>>>>Avengers@TheAvengers
better yet blockedddd
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>[email protected]☑️
you’re really testing me here kid
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Avengers@TheAvengers
I’ll just hack in if you restrict it, don’t act like I couldn’t
Notes:
have an art comp tmr hopefully i actually win something even though my painting is shit <3
Chapter 24: theres a STARMAN
Notes:
two more weeks of hell and then i get spring break <3
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
webslinger@spideyofficial
real bad bitches watched h2o as children which only started an obsession with fantasy and the want to get away from the real world
>webslinger@spideyofficial
i just really wanted to have a cool transformation sequence
>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
says the guy who literally can climb walls now by simply existing
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
but how cool would it be to control water or ice or be able to boil water just by looking at it
>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
you really want to have to drink out of a straw your entire life and give up being able to take a shower
>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
if that’s what it takes i’m willing to give all of that up
>>>>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
you are one of the dumbest smart people i know
>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
daddevil says the same thing
>>>>>>>>>>>>DD@Daredevil
Stop calling me that.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>daredevilsbesties@hellsfinest
first, you’ve literally claimed him as your child, and 2 we’ve already decided hes our kid dd
mod 2
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>daredevilsbesties@hellsfinest
oh would you look at what’s trending already
*****
TRENDING
#2 - DadDevil
#3 - Daredevil’s Partner
*****
daredevilesbesties@hellsfinest
i love that people forget that dd is dating mod 2 every once in a while because engagement goes through the roof
-mod 1
>daredevilsbesties@hellsfinest
it also means that their tumblr gets more interactions and dd hates when that happens
>>DD@Daredevil
It was created against my will.
>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
admit that it was one of the best things to happen to you
>>>>DD@Daredevil
Then I would be lying, and lying is a sin.
>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
🙄 here they go on his catholic rant again /j
>>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
i’m pretty sure that beating the shit out of people is also a sin but you still do that
>>>>>>>>daredevilsbesties@hellsfinest
he’s a bit of a hypocrite, he picks and chooses like most catholics do <3
-mod 1
>>>>>>>>>>DD@Daredevil
I’m not going to refute that, but watch yourself next time.
>>>>>>>>>>>daredevilsbesties@hellsfinest
like you would actually do anything
-mod 1
>>>>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
this is speaking all high and mighty for the guy that had an actually brawl in a church
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>DD@Daredevil
We all have moments of weakness.
*****
h.osborn@harry_osborn
how do i explain that i like hp but in a 70s, chaotic academia, “anything for our moony”, queer utopia kind of way and not the ew muggles, always, hogwarts is my home kind of way??
>bi-tch@pparker
side eye SIDE EYE!!!
>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
harry… harry fucking osborn
>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
okay the both of you can stop right now
>>>>[email protected]
just so you know i am also side eyeing just as and we will be having a conversation about this later >:(
>>>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
kamala no!!!! please dont please no please ndfgkjdsfh
>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
kamala, what just happened….
>>>>>>>[email protected]
don’t worry about it too much <3
>>>>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
✍️ never get on kamala’s bad side
>>>>>>>>>[email protected]
everything is going to be alright 🥰
>>>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
you know the more you say that the less i’m believing it
>>>>>>>>>>>[email protected]
then just dont worry about it
>>>>>>>>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
(peter i’m heading to your apartment rn)
>>>>>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
(i’ll harbor you dont worry)
*****
KB@youngerhawkeye
someone really just tried to come at me for my tab count like… don’t disrespect my emotional support tabs
>coolsister@betterwidow
don’t you have like 40 tabs open on your laptop right now
>>KB@youngerhawkeye
yeah buts thats because all of them have a very specific purpose and they will all be used at some point in time
>>>coolsister@betterwidow
it seems like your trying to convince yourself of that more than me
>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
dont try your mind games on me I know how to work around them
>>>>>coolsister@betterwidow
do you? I’ve never met someone that could do that besides natasha
>>>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
… i’ve had enough conversation with you than i can figure it out
>>>>>>>coolsister@betterwidow
you really don’t seem that sure about it now
>>>>>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
the mind games stop here yelena
>>>>>>>>>>coolsister@betterwidow
they never stop with me kate bishop ;)
>>>>>>>>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
AHHHHHH
*****
cass@Stature
i just had to explain to someone in my ap bio class that its not very possible to grow more than four wisdom teeth
>cass@Stature
for context we were talking about evolution and he was worried he would grow ten
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
you said you were in ap bio?
>>>cass@Stature
i’m just surprised he actually asked
>>>>cass@Stature
to be fair, it is possible, but it is highly improbable
>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
every day you come back with a new story from your bio class and i just really wish that i was there with you
>>>>>>cass@Stature
oh just me you really dont want to
>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
and i assure you i do
*****
nodeathhere@exmerc<3
i am the only one man show, catch me acting out all of nonstop from hamilton at 3 in the morning causing my neighbors to hate me even more than they already do
>webslinger@spideyofficial
why do you do this to your poor neighbors???
>>DD@Daredevil
If you could stop doing that it would be great because some of us want to sleep.
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
dd xe lives on the other side of town???
>>>>DD@Daredevil
And I have increased senses.
>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
not me forgetting that you weren’t just some guy
>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
rip me i guess
>>>>>>>DD@Daredevil
How can you not hear it?
>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
i invested in the best pair of noise canceling headphones i could get my hands on
>>>>>>>>>DD@Daredevil
Send me the link.
Notes:
i've been writing nonstop this weekend, i'm a real trooper fighting through the pain flare ups /hj
Chapter 25: LEAVE THIS FUCKED UP PLACE BEHIND
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
webslinger@spideyoffcial
i never thought that listening to a morning dove would make we want to cry and yet here we are
>webslinger@spideyofficial
those childhood morning memories really do be hitting right now
>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
the way that i literally never hear them anymore
>>>thebettergobling@hobgoblin
did they just like disappear or something??
well…. not exactly but i think they are going to go extinct
>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
why would you say such tragic news??
>>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
not if i have anything to do about it
>>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
what are you going to do???
>>>>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
the same thing i do to most of my problems: throw money at it and hope that it fixes itself
>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
is that why you threw a 20 dollar bill at me yesterday
>>>>>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
nahhh you did not do that gobby
>>>>>>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
that did not fucking happen do not go spreading those lies
>>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
how could my own bf do this to me :’(
>>>>>>>>>>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
no no no no no you stop right there
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
the offer is still open spidey <3
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
thanks harls <3
*****
thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
just lost my bf again to that iron bitch dont hit me up
>potato-kid@IronLad
there’s only one iron bitch and that’s @T.Stark okay let’s not twist things around here
>>[email protected]☑️
Why must you always insult me in every twitter thread I become a part of
>>>potato-kid@IronLad
i meannnn you didn’t have to show up just because i @ed you, you could have just smiled and waved
>>>>>[email protected]☑️
I’m not a pageant queen
>>>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
really? cause you sure are dramatic enough to be one
>>>>>>>Capsicule@CaptainAmerican
*sigh* Harley be nice to your father
>>>>>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
👀 side eye side eye
>>>>>>>>>Capsicule@CaptainAmerican
How is that a side eye?
>>>>>>>>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
wow out of touch are we
>>>>>>>>>>>>Capsicule@CaptainAmerica
Not as out of touch as I would want to be
>>>>>>>>>>>>>fiftybelow@WhiteWolf
harley i give you permission to bully your father
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
hell yeah >:) polycule strikes again
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>[email protected]☑️
I will tell pepper
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
😬 guess whos getting off twt for today ✌️peace out bitches
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>thebetttergoblin@hobgoblin
why did this have to happen in my replies??? have I not suffered enough, why must god forsake my on this pitiful day
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>fiftybelow@WhiteWolf
alright calm down shakespeare
*****
cass@Stature
I love english class, I love being able to bullshit everything and never face the consequences of it <3
>scottydoesknow@Antman
cassie are you being serious right now??
>>cass@Stature
do you think i passed that essay because i knew what was happening in death of a salesman? no, not at all, i’m just really good at pretending i know what’s happening
>>>C.Barton@ElderHawkeye
she gets it from you scott
>>>>cass@Stature
besides, i’d rather spend my time doing other things then reading books
>>>>>scottydoesknow@Antman
and yet you were reading that physics textbook last week….
>>>>>>cass@Stature
okay those two kinds of books are not comparable in the slightest and you definitely know that
>>>>>>>scottdoesknow@Antman
still proud of you kiddo
>>>>>>>>cass@Stature
god youre embarrassing
*****
Loki(He/Him)@sneksneak
nothing is better than watching people bind books. something about it just scratches the right spot in my brain and makes me that happiest person in the world
>THOR@sonofodin
is that what you were watching so intently?
>>Loki(He/Him)@sneksneak
of course, i don’t use the internet for much else after all
>>>Loki(He/Him)@sneksneak
just seeing how beautiful the cover art is, turning a paperback into a hardcover, the books where they paint the edges, or even better making it into a leather bound book, it absolutely magnificent
>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
sometimes i have a very hard time believing that you were the one to invade new york a while back
>>>>>[email protected]
loki: let me destroy new york and take earth as my own
also loki: look at my bookbinding fyp
>>>>>>BetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
the duality of man
>>>>>>>Loki(He/Him)@sneksneak
we’ve been over this, there was some mind control, and now i’m perfectly stable
>>>>>>>>THOR@sonofodin
I don’t know if those are the words that I would pick
>>>>>>>>>[email protected]
🫢 call him out thor
>>>>>>>>>>Loki(He/Him)@sneksneak
I am much more mentally stable now thank you very much
>>>>>>>>>>>colourtheory@ScarletWitch
dark academia changed him
>>>>>>>>>>>>Loki(He/Him)@sneksneak
I am simply a better man
>>>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
say that to the scale™
>>>>>>>>>>>>>Loki(He/Him)@sneksneak
I haven’t gone above a six in like two months
*****
[email protected]
ben barnes getting tiktok was not on my 2023 bingo card
>[email protected]
NO STOP @ED HIM STOP STOPSTSOTSGF
>>bi-tch@pparker
my bf getting outed as being a ben barnes enthusiast was not on my 2023 bingo card
>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
harry i hope you know that both of my gfs are making fun of you right now
>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
you know cause youre not responding in the groupchat
>>>>>[email protected]
I AM TRYING TO DEFEND MY HONOR
>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
like there was any honor before bffr
>>>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
you know what that spells??
.>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
BE FUCKING FOR REAL
>>>>>>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
we are so in sync
>>>>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
the best of friends
>>>>>>>>>>>>>[email protected]
everyone is out here STEALING MY MAN
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
finders keepers losers weepers <3
Notes:
this is quickly becoming my most read twt fic and i am very happy about that <3
Chapter 26: break of the spring
Chapter Text
webslinger@spideyofficial
if who’s ever pulling the fire alarm nearly everyday at school could stop that would be greatly appreciated <3 thank you
>webslinger@spideyofficial
rip this was meant for the other account but its doing numbers so…
>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
wow my bf only cares about numbers guys
fake influencer right there
>>>>cass@Stature
as if most influencers aren’t fake
>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
i put my faith in you spidey you were supposed to be the best of us
>>>>BetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
as the leader I am disappointed but not surprised by that statement
>>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
everyone already thinks he’s a golden retriever or whatever the fuck
>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
they do? 🥺
>>>>>>>cass@Stature
put that emoji away right now, we are net letting you gaslight gatekeep girlboss your way through this
>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
i am the biggest girlboss actually
>>>>>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
you’re not ever a girl
>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
girlboss is a state of mind gwen, you wouldn’t understand (thanks for the validation tho <3)
>>>>>>>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
anytime love <3
*****
thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
alright…. since all of you have been asking for updates: yes i read ATYD, yes I cried, this has been my update
>Loki(She/They)@sneksneak
so you’ve finally relented
>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
you know you could read a fanfic longer than the bible if you read crimson rivers
>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
why the fuck do you know that????
>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
why wouldn’t I is a better question?
>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
any of your recommendations will now be going down the drain wade
>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
you wound me
>>>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
I’m sure that you’ll survive
*****
daredevilsbesties@hellsfinest
help i just gave spidey something with peppermint and i think he’s gonna die
mod 2
>DD@Daredevil
You seem far too calm for this situation.
>>daredevilsbesties@hellsfinest
i’m actually nearly crying please come help
-mod 2
>>>DD@Daredevil
I’m on my way.
>potato-kid@IronLad
imagine a candy cane being able to take you out
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
imagine shutting the hell up
>>>potato-kid@IronLad
just a week ago we were flirting what happening darling
>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
you made fun of my allergies >:( /j
>>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
says the guy that last week made fun of people with peanut allergies because “imagine a single peanut being able to wipe you off the face of the earth”
>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
that is objectively funnier
>>>>>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
i mean yes but still, hypocritical much
>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
oh honey you know it
>>>>>>>>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
sometimes i wonder if they’re trying to subliminally get me to accept a polycule with the two of them
>>>>>>>>>>>>>[email protected]☑️
no.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
motherfucker-
*****
fiftybelow@WhiteWolf
I think steve inhaled too many paint fumes and its finally catching up to him
>paintro@quicksilver
in other words i now have the funniest videos known to man ready to be posted
>>fiftybelow@WhiteWolf
don’t you dare
>>>C.Barton@ElderHawkeye
please post them
>>>>Avengers@TheAvengers
I set up a tiktok for y’all for this exact purpose post them please pietro
>>>>>paintro@quicksilver
send me the login info
>>>>>>Avengers@TheAvengers
done.
>>>>>>>>paintro@quicksilver
my time has come
>>>>>>>>>Capsicule@CaptainAmerica
I fear for the younger generations, not of them, but simply for them
>>>>>>>>>>colourtheory@ScarletWitch
we are having the time of our lives
>>>>>>>>>>>Loki(She/They)@sneksneak
you fear what you do not understand
>>>>>>>>>>>>>Birdman@Falcon
calm down with the philosophy shit
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Loki(She/They)@sneksneak
that isn’t philosophy, that’s just the objective truth
*****
bi-tch@pparker
right now its a race to who will give up first, my calc teacher or me
>bi-tch@pparker
place your bets here, winner gets the pool
>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
its cant be that bad
>>>bi-tch@pparker
i think you’re doubting our abilities to be utter goddamn idiots
my bets are on your teacher because of the stories you told me <3
>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
and not in your confidence in me?? how could you
>>>>>>>[email protected]
no i know you wont give up because you’re too scared to
>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
wow way to blast me on the internet alright
>>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
but you’re not wrong so like….
>>>>>>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
You’re not allowed to give up.
>>>>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
wow thanks for the vote of confidence matt you always know what to say
>>>>>>>>>>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
you’re doing great peter, don’t give up now <3
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
so we can tell which one had a supportive environment growing up….
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
Well we all know it wasn’t me.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
you’re still awesome though <3 :D
*****
KB@youngerhawkeye
to live in a haunted mansion and become friends with the ghost until ultimately someone comes in and ruins it all and you’re left with only the memories of a distant past
>cass@Stature
…..
>>cass@Stature
hey uhhh what the hell did i just read
@ElderHawkeye your mentee is acting weird again
>>>>C.Barton@ElderHawkeye
Kate? no this is pretty normal for them actually
>>>>>C.Barton@ElderHawkeye
she’s acted weirder on missions
>>>>>>KB@youngerhaweye
i am a goddamn joy to be around
>>>>>>>C.Barton@ElderHawkeye
keep telling yourself that
>>>>>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
SIDE EYE SIDE EYE
>>>>>>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
how could my mentor do this to meee
>>>>>>>>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
🧍♂️don’t even with me right now
>>>>>>>>>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
well that… that’s an unfortunate situation
>>>>>>>>>>>>>[email protected]
don’t mind me, i’m just watching
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
america, i can’t be doing this
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
y’all have mentors
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
i wonder what that’s like
Chapter 27: IT FEELS LIKE THE START OF A MOVIE IVE SEEN BEFORE
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
bi-tch@pparker
just saw the new dungeons and dragons movie with the bf and i just got to say it was good, would have been better if edgin and xenk kissed
>bi-tch@pparker
yes i know i make a lot of things gay but the enemies to friends to lovers would have been great
>>bi-tch@pparker
also doric and simon were cute, there won’t be a sequel but i’m wishing them the best
>>>bi-tch@pparker
AND OMFG the platonic soulmate situation between edgin and hulga was everything i’ve ever wanted
>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
he says as though i’m not right here
>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
you know what, you’re right, we are platonic soulmates
>>>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
exs to soulmates <3
>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
we’re rewriting history one step at a time <3
>>>>>>>>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
something about queer people and still being close with some of their exes
>>>>>>>>>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
i’m pretty sure its like a right of passage or something of that sort
>>>>>>>>>>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
i’m one of the gayest people here and i’ve never gotten this chance. rip me ig
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>cass@Stature
i think you had other queer people experiences….
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
I- CASSIE
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
i mean it wa funny as fuck but still didn’t expect that one
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>cass@Stature
you can rely on me for those out of pocket jokes <3
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
we’re mlm wlw solidarity <3
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
me and peter are literally right here 🧍
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
also which one of us has two girlfriends….
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>cass@Stature
shocked and appalled and hurt
*****
TheBetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
spring break is ending and so is my will
>KB@youngerhawkeye
imagine still being in highschool couldn’t be me
>>TheBetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
okay miss “i nearly got kicked out of college for a dumb prank”
>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
okay and??? i’m living it up on the top now
>[email protected]
strange making me go to school actually hurts so much
>>[email protected]
It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever had
>>>[email protected]
you needed schooling whether you liked it or not
>>>>[email protected]
*when you come from a different universe so you literally know nothing about US history and nearly fail your history class*
>>>>>>[email protected]
Okay that wasn’t exactly what I was talking about
>>>>>>>[email protected]
i’m never letting you live this down
>[email protected]
ughhhh i have to take the sat
>>Loki(He/Him)@sneksneak
literally couldn’t be me
>>>[email protected]
i’m in pain, so so so much pain
>>>>cass@Stature
dramatic much
>>>>>[email protected]
lets not even go there
*****
threescompany@themoonsystem
we’re back :D, ughhh yeah some stuff happened but i’m back - steven
>webslinger@spideyofficial
STEVEN!!!!!
>>threescompany@themoonsystem
PETER!! - s
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
god how i’m glad you’re back, what happened???
>>>>threescompany@themoonsytsem
um let’s just say that we’ve been out of the country for a while - s
>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
this doesn’t have anything to so with what was happening in egypt was it….
>>>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
that’s nothing you can prove - jake
>>>>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
we’re a hero that works with an egyptian god, so yeah it was - marc
>>>>>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
dumbass - jake
>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
okay i sort of knew that it was you guys but seeing jakes reaction was worth it
>>>>>>>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
well how dare i try to make our identity a bit more private - jake
>>>>>>>>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
as if “moonknight” isn’t literally in our bio - steven
>>>>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
if you need any advice with keeping secret identities then i’m your man <3
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
you’re actually pretty bad at keeping your identity a secret ngl - jake
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
well seeing as i haven’t been outed as a superhero yet i think i’m doing pretty good
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
only time will tell - jake
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
hey uhhh what the fuck is that suppposed to mean????
*****
idiot_two@thehotlawyer
nothing is more embarrassing for myself then going out and realising that the only reason people are coming up to you is because you’re with a famous person
>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
in my defense i usually forget that harry is famous because i usually just see him as peter’s boyfriend
>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
look at that, i’m just arm candy pete
>>>bi-tch@pparker
now you know how i feel
>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
you are far more than just a piece of arm candy <3
>>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
feels nice that i’m not just a famous person though
>>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
say the guy that owns a multimillion company
>>>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
still love you tho and i’ll keep humbling you when you need it <3
>>>>>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
i know i can count on you to do that <3
>>>>>>>>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
you’re truly just a kid to me harry, you’re not even 18 yet
>>>>>>>>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
and that’s why i wish everyone could see that to
*****
paintro@quicksilver
ever listen to a song and you just want to eat it, i’ll listen to a song and just know that i would be delicious
>colourtheory@ScarletWitch
hey uh you want to explain to me what this fucking means???
>>paintro@quicksilver
you cannot tell me you don’t listen to some folk music and just know that it would be one of the most comforting meals you have ever tasted??
>>>paintro@quicksilver
or or or like some 2012 song and just know that it would taste like cotton candy
>>>>colourtheory@ScarletWitch
i dont think that i’ve ever experienced something like that nor have i seen anyone else tell me that
>>>>>>paintro@quicksilver
really??? there’s no way that other people haven’t experienced this
>>>>>>>paintro@quicksilver
all of you people must be lying because i’ve always tasted songs
>>>>>>>>colourtheory@ScarletWitch
out of the two of us i’m supposed to be the weird one
>>>>>>>>>paintro@quicksilver
well apparently i am now too holy shit
Notes:
the dnd movie was fun, it was the first time i went to a movie with just a friend and no parents which is crazy to think about since I'm a senior rip
Chapter 28: dont you get it? UNDERSTAND!!
Notes:
jesus may have risen today but i'm built different so i wanna fucking sleep
Chapter Text
webslinger@spideyofficial
sometimes the passage of time hits me like a truck and i hate that more than anything
>webslinger@spideyofficial
like what are you talking about I graduate in a month and i’m going to be going to college and then get an adult job and all of that????
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
and don’t worry i’m still going to be spider-man because i could never give that up and I know i’m needed but its still so wacky and wild that this is happening before me
>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
i could have sworn that just last week i was starting the semester and getting used to my new teachers and now they know so much about me and now i’m getting all the privileges of senior year and i really don’t know what the fuck is happening
>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
you don’t have to worry because i’ll be there with you every step of the way <3
>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
i will too of course because you two need someone with common sense sometimes
>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
avoiding the last comment thank you so much gwen <3
>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
and you too, love <3
>>>>>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
what are you british now???
>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
i am america’s favorite superhero very much i’ll have you know
>>>>>>>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
according to who? you??? that’s some skewed data webs
>>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
actually your dad
>>>>>>>>>>>>>potato-kid@Ironlad
which one 💀
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
i think you know quite well
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>[email protected]☑️
The data had to be wrong.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
oh shit he used proper grammar you must have hurt him bad webs
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
some people just cant handle the truth, oh well, not my problem
*****
idiot_two@thehotlawyer
i love my fiance, don’t get me wrong i would do anything for them, but going to easter mass got me feeling out of place
>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
i can feel their judging glances (not matt, he’s wonderful)
>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
Everyone there loves you, you don’t have to worry.
>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
more like they love you and know not to mess with those you care about
>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
They would love you regardless because you’re the most amazing person in the entire world.
>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
gross my dads are flirting on main
>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
actually its funny as fuck because then they have clients that use twt and can see this and that’s utterly perfect
>>>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
Wait did you just call us your dads?
>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
shit was a i not supposed to do that??? i can take it back if it makes you uncomfortable
>>>>>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
trust me kid, he’s just flustered and very happy that you feel that way
>>>>>>>>pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
oh no matt’s cold exterior is slowly crumbling what is he gonna do
>>>>>>>>>idiot_two@thehowlawyer
as if it wasn’t crumbling the moment peter walked through the doors
>>>>>>>>>>pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
honestly it was probably before that even
>>>>>>>>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
ohhhh yeah for sure
>>>>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
damn i feel like i’m being put on blast now
>>>>>>>>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
Peter you are one of the best kids in the entire world and I am so glad that Foggy and I can be there for you in any way shape and form.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
matttt that’s not fair i’m gonna fuckign cry now
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
happy tears but like still, warn a guy next time before pouring your heart out
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
I didn’t know I was going to say any of this so I was unprepared.
*****
LayLow@LittleScarab
dont get me wrong, i love the system to pieces, but holy shit sometimes they can be a bit stupid
>threescompany@themoonsystem
I am greatly offended right now, what the hell did I do?? - jake
>>LayLow@LittleScarab
while this was targeted mostly towards marc and steven don’t act so innocent
>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
well what did the other two do?? (and also I am one of the most capable out of us) - jake
>>>>LayLow@LittleScarab
i don’t doubt that
>>>>>LayLow@LittleScarab
anyway its not that big of a deal but sometimes they just bicker and whatnot when it comes to me and its funny - sometimes really funny - but other times i just want to tell tell “hey dumbasses you both are wonderful now shut it”
>>>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
i am in full support of this - jake
>>>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
i am not, nobody makes fun of steven - marc
>>>>>>>LayLow@LittleScarab
*cough* hypocrite *cough*
>>>>>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
really. - marc
>>>>>>>>>LayLow@LittleScarab
what? i didn’t say anything, jake did I say anything
>>>>>>>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
she didn’t say anything - jake
>>>>>>>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
i can still read, the words don’t magically disappear from the screen after i switch in - marc
>>>>>>>>>>>LayLow@LittleScarab
you must be imagining things because didn’t say a word
>>>>>>>>>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
and i’m done, we’ll talk later - marc
>>>>>>>>>>>>>LayLow@LittleScarab
see what i mean?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>threescompany@themoonsystem
we should go out for a drink together some time - jake
>>>>>>>>>>>>>LayLow@LittleScarab
sounds like a great time
*****
thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
nothing in life ever prepared me for seeing the western sydney university on my fyp every day after liking that one fucking video
>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
if i would have known that getting into the marauders fandom would bring me to this point i don’t know if i ever would have done it
>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
now you know that is one of the biggest lies in the entire world
>>>BetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
this is coming from the guy that said that he wasn’t going to read that story, did, and then became utterly distraught for a week
>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
do not start calling me out like this
>>>>>BetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
nah i’m going to continue to call you out like this because i find it very entertaining
>>>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
seems like i’m just going to have to join the avengers then if i keep getting bullied like this
>>>>>>>Avengers@TheAvengers
wait you think the avengers don’t bully each other??
>>>>>>>>Avengers@TheAvengers
that is very much not the case
>>>>>>>>>[email protected]☑️
wait, if you join will you get spidey to join too?
>>>>>>>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
bitch 🧍i am my own person thank you very much
>>>>>>>>>>>[email protected]☑️
It was just a question
>>>>>>>>>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
oh well i guess i’m going to stay on my team that bullies each other
>>>>>>>>>>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
you love us so much don’t even try to deny it
>>>>>>>>>>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
hey @spideyofficial
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
you called?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
you’re the best part of the young avengers <3
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
awww thanks love <3
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
really??? on main just like that
Chapter 29: la la la la (ok ok ok ok)
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
webslinger@spideyofficial
watching dead poets society and ending the movie right after neil finishes his play <3
>webslinger@spideyofficial
that’s what protecting my mental health is actually
>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
you changed so fucking much after i showed you that movie
>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
and after you read the book which was actually surprising that you read it but oh well
>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
what the hell is that supposed to mean????
>>>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
you’re like stem smart, you enjoy doing stem stuff and reading is like humanities girlie
>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
“humanities girlie” 💀
>>>>>>>>>DD@Daredevil
Were they wrong?
>>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
he says as if they aren’t also a humanities girlie
>>>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
don’t think too much about that twt
>>>>>>>>>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
uhhh maybe don’t say something like that on twt???
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
fuck yeah you’re probably right oopsy
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>potato-child@IronLad
a little fucky wucky
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
never say that again.
*****
future-ceo@thebabysitter
alright everyone vote pls on what we think that young avengers are: stem or humanities girlies
>future-ceo@thebabysitter
also in this realm girlie means absolutely nothing gender wise
>Loki(She/He)@sneksneak
i’m a humanities girlie all the way, i literally started a book club with some of the avengers
>>[email protected]
i would also be a humanities girlie with nakia i think bruno’s a stem one all the way <3
>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
rounding up the whole friend group
>>>>>[email protected]
you know it
>>[email protected]
uhhhh probably stem??? only cause of strange and he was a doctor
>>>[email protected]
I still am???
>>>>[email protected]
alright let’s be for real for a second
>>BetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
I’m a humanities one for sure
>>>BetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
nobody can change my mind
>>>>potato-child@IronLad
i’m obviously a stem one because let me be clear i built the best potato gun in the world in a garage <3
>>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
sfjhdkf i don’t even know, maybe i could swing both ways???
>>>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
that was not a gay joke that was not a gay joke that was not a gay joke
>>>>>>>>[email protected]
it wasn’t????
>>>>>>>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
please shut the fuck up
>>cass@Stature
stem all the way
>future-ceo@thebabysitter
nice to know i was definitely right about all of these
*****
exmerc<3@nodeathhere
jumpletwt is in shambles and i’m crying
>DD@Daredevil
Wade, watch yourself.
>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
ope devils calling wade out again
>>>localnurse@drinkuptime
you’re saying as if this doesn’t happen on the reg
>>>>exmerc<3@nodeathhere
omg claires back :D clairrrreeeee
>>>>>localnurse@drinkuptime
i thoroughly regret coming back please let me leave again
>>>>>>>exmerc<3@nodeathhere
never! :D
>>>>>>>>localnurse@drinkuptime
someone change my twt password and never tell me what it is
>>>>>>>>>localnurse@drinkuptime
actually change the email its set to too so that i can’t ever get back into it
>>>>>>>>>>localnurse@drinkuptime
delete the whole account
>>>>>>>>>>>exmerc<3@nodeathhere
i’ll reinstate it every single time, there’s no escaping
*****
webslinger@spideyofficial
accidently made a joke in class that i wanna live like neil perry, everyone kinda got quiet for a second until i had to say oh shit….. that’s why it went quiet
>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
love 💀what the actual hell
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
i sorta forgot what happens at the end of the movie cause i just like to imagine that every thing ends well, neil and todd are happy together, everything is right in the world
>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
i mean we all want to believe that the movie ends well
>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgoblin
in my mind the true ending of the movie is them all sitting in the cave together and having a grand old time
>>>>>Loki(She/He)@sneksneak
webs. what the actual hell????
>>>>>>Loki(She/He)@sneksneak
what class was it in
>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
….calc
>>>>>>>>Loki(She/He)@sneksneak
it seems like everyone in your life happens in calc
>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
i mean you’re right but that’s just because at this point everyone in that class has lost their minds and just says anything that pops up
>>>>>>>>>>>pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
live fast die gay
>>>>>>>>>>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
KAREN!!!! 😭😭😭
>>>>>>>>>>>>>pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
did i lie???
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
i love you so fucking much
*****
BetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
every single time a northern boyz audio gets deleted from tiktok a part of me dies
>KB@youngerhawkeye
the northern boyz >>>>>
>>[email protected]
HELL YEAH YOURE SO RIGHT FOR THIS ONE
>>>[email protected]
RASING A GLASS TO THE
>>>>potato-child@IronLad
GAYS AND
>>>>>Loki(He/They)@sneksneak
AND THE BIS
>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
AND THE TRANS
>>>>>>>[email protected]
AND THE GIRLS
>>>>>>>>Avengers@TheAvengers
nick fury: AND THE BIG BALD MEN
>>>>>>>>>>Capsicule@CaptainAmerica
Harley….
>>>>>>>>>>>fiftybelow@WhiteWolf
no no no let them finish
>>>>>>>>>>>>[email protected]☑️
Are you trying to get him murked by fury???
>>>>>>>>>>>>>[email protected]☑️
Our kid’s gonna be screwed
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Agent Romanoff@Black Widow
no they’ll be fine, I would make sure of it
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
holy shit nat cares about me?????
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Agent Romanoff@Black Widow
that was never a real question
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
excuse me i’m going to be crying extremely now
*****
bi-tch@pparker
so its confirmed that wade is going to be matt and foggy’s ring bearer
>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
This was a mistake and it hasn’t even happened yet.
>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
i for one think its going to be absolutely amazing
>>>bi-tch@pparker
its going to be amazing because i get to stand up and foggy said i could make a speech at the reception if i wanted to
>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
Why would you let him do that?
>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
And he’s standing on my side so shouldn’t that be my choice?
>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
you would have said yes too don’t lie
>>>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
Yeah, you’re right.
>>>>>>>>localnurse@drinkuptime
you better be prepared for the speech i’m going to make
>>>>>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
Oh God now I’m scared.
>>>>>>>>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
marci and karen are going to make this the night to remember as well
>>>>>>>>>>>pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
me and marci are conspiring <3
>>>>>>>>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
Give Foggy Hell please.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
what the hell matty????
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
I already know that Peter and Claire are giving me Hell so it’s only fair.
Notes:
i turned 18 last week and that was fucking wild, I'm meant to be like an actual functioning human now.... gross
Chapter 30: and here it is, our final night alive
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
bi-tch@pparker
just “adopted” cat, how long do we think until matt notices?
>pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
what do you mean by “adopted”?? why is it in quotes, what’s going on peter???
>>bi-tch@pparker
don’t worry about it so much
>>>bi-tch@pparker
anywayyyyy what bets on it all????
>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
Did you forget I follow you on Twitter?
>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
uhhhhhh i mean yeah i guess because I wasn’t expecting this…
>>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
Where did you get a cat?
>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
you don’t have to say it like that
>>>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
No, you’re telling me what is going on.
>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
well… this stray cat has been following me around for the past couple of weeks and i got her all checked out so she isn’t someone elses sooooo
>>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
can we keep her????
>>>>>>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
Did you truly get her checked out?
>>>>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
YES me and gwen went togetherrrrr
>>>>>>>>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
Do you promise you’ll take care of her?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
yes yes yes EMRYS IS RISING BITCHES
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
Oh God you named her after that show.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
well it was either that or concrete
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
Why would it be between that or concrete?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
concrete seems like a good name
*****
h.osborn@harry_osborn
i now am the second father to a cat named emrys
>bi-tch@pparker
you love you 👿 admit it!!!!
>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
I mean, yeah, I love her a lot, but this is still a situation I can have fun with
>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
and I am now the aunt to a beautiful little kittyyyy
>>>>BetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
we’re also adopting emrys thank you very much
>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
she will have a very good extended family <3
*****
pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
matt and foggy were fighting over which last name they would take, and how they were going to go about renaming NMP
>pagesandpages@sufferingnotlawyer
let it be said the firm’s name isn’t changing because its too iconic but foggy had to push for murdock because he said that “matt, you can’t give up you’re triple M status”
>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
if matty were to change his name then they would be kicked from the club 😠
>>>bi-tch@pparker
alliteration gang rise up!!!
>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
:/
>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
shut up shut up shut up i am part of the club
>>>>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
dont worry I made sure that they were still part of the alliteration gang
>>>>>>nodeathhere@exmerc<3
you’re doing the lords work
>>>>>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
also foggy murdock 😍
>>>>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
I love you too. ❤️
>>>>>>>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
awwwww <3 <3 <3
*****
bi-tch@pparker
had prom last niht wnna slep so tird
>h.osborn@harry_osborn
hey love, how about take a nap
>>bi-tch@pparker
noooooo not fair tht u arnt tired 😠 😠
>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
because i wasn’t moshing for two hours yesterday
>>>>bi-tch@pparker
sooo mch funnnnn
>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
@reallygoodlawyer @thehotlawyer come pick up your kid
>>>>>>idiot_one@reallygoodlawyer
He’s already at home resting.
>>>>>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
I meannnn that’s what happens when you stay out partying until 3
>>>>>>>>idiot_two@thehotlawyer
he’s in good hands though don’t worry
>>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
it was until 2;30 tamk u vry much
>>>>>>>>>>h.osborn@harry_osborn
take some melatonin and sleep it off
*****
KB@youngerhawkeye
so many of the young avengers are graduating and i’m getting nostalgic :’)
>KB@youngerhawkeye
they’re all growing uppppp
>>C.Barton@ElderHawkeye
kate showing how much she cares online????
>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
they’re like babies?!??!
>>>>C.Barton@ElderHawkeye
most of them are literally 18 now I don’t think they really count as babies anymore
>>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
you have no place to be saying that when you literally get so distraught at your kids growing up
>>>>>>C.Barton@ElderHawkeye
its also sort of different when they’re your own children
>>>>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
i feel responsible for these kids
>>>>>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
i’m one of the oldest people on the team
>>>>>>>>>>C.Barton@ElderHawkeye
awww you’re sentimental
>>>>>>>>>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
yes, yes I am what are you going to do about it?????
>>>>>>>>>>>>>C.Barton@ElderHawkeye
keep poking fun at you because of it
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
…..bitch
*****
potato-kid@IronLad
@spideyofficial MIT MIT MIT MIT
>webslinger@spideyofficial
MIT MIT MIT MIT >>webslinger@spideyofficial
(also why are we @ing the hero account?????)
>>>potato-kid@IronLad
(honestly its was the first one to pop up)
>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
we are going to be a powerhouse on campus i just know it
>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
you know it <3
>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
alsooooo @hobgoblin are you ready to move in together bb >:)
>>>>>>>>>>thebettergoblin@hobgobllin
oh you know it, we’re going to be living it upppp
>>>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
its going to be amazing
>>>>>>>>>>>>>future-ceo@thebabysitter
all of you are going to be absolute menaces
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
we wouldn’t live any other way
*****
my school not allowing senior quotes anymore is actually horrible because i was waiting to read all of those and have the best time ever
i didn’t have any of that but mine would be “‘Do not go into that wormhole’ - Dr. Strange” it just feels right
>>KB@youngerhawkeye
they dont allow quotes anymore!!!!!
>>>KB@youngerhawkeye
mine was “they didn’t have a quizlet for this”
>>>>cass@Stature
hah losers don’t get quotes, i’m different, “quotes are for dumb people who can’t think of something intelligent to say on their own - Bo Burnham”
>>>>>BetterAvengers!@YoungAvengers
now i’m just annoyed i wasted mine being cheesy….
>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
mine will probably start trending on twt in a bit, maybe like an hour since they just got passed out
>>>>>>>potato-kid@IronLad
what is that supposed to mean????
>>>>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
oh you know, just things
*****
CONFUSED-ERA@moonsandstars
I CANT BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING >CONFUSED-ERA@moonsandstars
ALL THESE MONTHS OF FOLLOWING JUMPTWT AND AVENGERS AND ASDGJKBU
>>CONFUSED-ERA@moonsandstars
WE WENT TO SCHOOL TOGETHER??!?!??!?!?
>>>CONFUSED-ERA@moonsandstars
#SPIDEYSSENIORQUOTE ahahhahshdhhahah
*****
TRENDING 1. #spideyseniorquote
Fans and supporters of Queen’s resident vigilante Spider-Man are losing their minds over a senior quote from a Midtown High School senior that appears to be calling himself Spider-Man.
*****
webslinger@spideyofficial
ha yeah this is funny
>bi-tch@pparker
we’re the same person
>>webslinger@spideyofficial
always have been
>>>bi-tch@pparker
always will be
>>>>webslinger@spideyofficial
and @T.Stark☑️
>>>>>bi-tch@pparker
I’m still not interested in being part of the avengers
*****
CONFUSED-ERA@moonsandstars
WAIT DOES THIS MEAN HARRY OSBORN IS HOBGOBLIN?!?!?!?!
Notes:
AHHHH I CANT BELIEVE IT
but yeah, last chapter because i graduate soon and don't have as much time on my hands, but i hope y'all enjoyed reading this fic as much as i liked writing it <3
have a great day/night/whenever you're reading this <3
Pages Navigation
Neondragon54 on Chapter 12 Sat 31 Dec 2022 09:24AM UTC
Comment Actions
JudasIsMyNameHugsAreMyGame on Chapter 12 Sat 31 Dec 2022 04:33PM UTC
Comment Actions
Trez26 on Chapter 12 Sat 31 Dec 2022 06:44PM UTC
Comment Actions
Random_peples on Chapter 12 Sat 31 Dec 2022 07:03PM UTC
Comment Actions
Riftttttttttt (Guest) on Chapter 12 Mon 02 Jan 2023 10:06AM UTC
Comment Actions
ReapingBennefits on Chapter 12 Wed 31 May 2023 01:22PM UTC
Comment Actions
Trez26 on Chapter 13 Tue 03 Jan 2023 06:52PM UTC
Comment Actions
Robin (Guest) on Chapter 13 Tue 03 Jan 2023 07:58PM UTC
Comment Actions
JudasIsMyNameHugsAreMyGame on Chapter 13 Tue 03 Jan 2023 10:21PM UTC
Comment Actions
Random_peples on Chapter 13 Tue 03 Jan 2023 11:03PM UTC
Comment Actions
Symphony_Of_Nightingales on Chapter 13 Sun 16 Jun 2024 04:55AM UTC
Comment Actions
Trez26 on Chapter 14 Thu 05 Jan 2023 04:05AM UTC
Comment Actions
Riftttttttttt (Guest) on Chapter 14 Thu 05 Jan 2023 10:43AM UTC
Comment Actions
JudasIsMyNameHugsAreMyGame on Chapter 14 Thu 05 Jan 2023 04:28PM UTC
Comment Actions
Random_peples on Chapter 14 Fri 06 Jan 2023 12:39AM UTC
Comment Actions
HelenaWinchester13 on Chapter 14 Tue 16 Jul 2024 03:34PM UTC
Comment Actions
Trez26 on Chapter 15 Tue 10 Jan 2023 04:25AM UTC
Comment Actions
Random_peples on Chapter 15 Tue 10 Jan 2023 12:29PM UTC
Comment Actions
JudasIsMyNameHugsAreMyGame on Chapter 15 Tue 10 Jan 2023 04:12PM UTC
Comment Actions
Riftttttttttt (Guest) on Chapter 15 Fri 13 Jan 2023 08:41AM UTC
Comment Actions
Pages Navigation