Chapter Text
You sigh as the VILE student gets out the car. Teaching here has been...hard. It's got a lot to do with the fact that you don't actually want to, you know, teach the people here anything that could make their whole crime thing more successful. You might do some illegal stuff, but you're not a criminal!
You pause for a moment, staring into space as your brain turns that thought over...you know, it's not exactly right, but in this moment you don't care. Shrugging, you move on and get out of the car. Your previous student is just leaving the courtyard as you make your way around and into the driver's seat, and the sight of her makes you frown.
Most people who have taken your class were so frazzled by your...teaching style that there wasn't any chance of them picking up something useful. Which, while the goal and intent, was kind of frustrating. It's fun to share something you're passionate about, especially when the other person gets it. And the woman who just left definitely got it. Which had left you with an entirely different problem.
Other students you had to be careful they didn't get so little benefit that the Faculty took issue with you. For the Vile operative known as "The Driver" the opposite was true. You tried to throw everything you could at her, but a part of you thrilled at seeing a student get what you were teaching. Combine your whole internal conflict thing with her natural talent and you are starting to worry she's going to pass you up.
Seeing she's completely gone, leaving you completely alone, you drop your face onto the steering wheel. It strikes you with a solid thud and you screw your face up in a pained expression. "Who am I kidding?" You smack your head against the wheel a couple more times-thankfully only hitting the horn twice-as you continue talking, punctuating your points. "This...was doomed...to go...horribly...wrong...from...the...start..."
The whine you give out is mostly because of the situation you're in. It's definitely not because smashing your forehead into the steering wheel of a car more expensive than all the money you've ever made in your entire life hurt you. Not at all. Whimpering a bit, you lift your face to look up. You can just see the sky some over the Vile built walls surrounding you. Some big, puffy clouds float by. Next, you find yourself doing something that you did a lot less before finding that phone.
"Oh, hey, big guy. Any chance you can maybe give me, you know, just a bit more help?" The clouds float by, and if your sister was here you'd probably feel funny for praying. But, she isn't. Nobody is. Except you, the soulmate you actually kinda are starting to maybe trust-but only if you're in the mood to be really, really honest with yourself, which, considering the number of people you can be honest with seems like a good idea-and a bunch of criminals who could kill you without an ounce of regret. Or do something worse to you, if what you've gathered from the Countess is accurate. So, having a God out there somewhere who is on your side feels really nice right now. You know, assuming he is.
"Eh, you probably think I'm being greedy, especially after that huge favor you did me with the," you glance around, don't see anyone, and then drop your voice anyway just to be sure, "phone thing." Your voice comes back up to a normal volume and you flop back in your seat, hands covering your face. "But I could really," come on Zack, if you can't be honest with anyone else, you can be honest with yourself and the big head honcho, "REALLY, use your help right now."
"Talking to yourself now, Mr. Duke?"
"Woah!" Jumping, you thrash against your seat belt for a second. Once your heart isn't threatening to leap out your mouth, grab both your ears and attack you by screaming its lungs out into your face, you blink at the man standing just outside your window. Shadowsan, in typical Shadowsan fashion, merely studies you with that raised eyebrow.
Thanks to the time you've been around your soulmate, you like to think you've gotten better at reading people. Which is why you conclude that the ninja-man is both disapproving and wary of your reaction. Sucking in a deep breath, you straighten the knot of the tie you're wearing-not entirely a nervous thing considering the ride you had just been on-and scan the older man.
This gives you a split second to be glad you've gotten the Duke's voice down to the point that it's almost an effort to use Zack's. Otherwise that could have been quite a bit worse. Humming, you return the raised eyebrow with one of your own. "Mayhaps, my dear Shadowsan. But, we did not come here today to discuss my mental health, now did we?"
His face twitches. It's tiny, but you fight down a bit of glee to see it. "No." Your other eyebrow comes up as you put on an innocent face. He answers your silent 'No, what?' through gritted teeth. "No, I suppose we did not." You have to fight down another bit of glee. This is why you enjoy teaching students here. It's so much fun to scare the daylights out of them. And your next student victim was here.
Clearing your throat, you look away with an imperious, and slightly impatient, air. "Well what are you waiting for then? We don't have all day now, do we?" Your eyes return to him with challenging expectance a second after you finish speaking. Shadowsan grumbles under his breath-you mentally giggle at the sound-as he moves around the car to the passenger seat.
Once he sits down, you flick your gaze to the corner of your eye where his seat belt will click. Before you can tell him to use it, he has already slipped the two pieces of the buckle together. Looking up to his face, you find a sour grimace, like he'd bitten into an overripe lemon. "I can vividly recall previous demonstrations of your...skill." This time you let the smile slip onto your face. And with that-as well as with your eyes on your passenger-you floor the accelerator.
Shadowsan instantly latches onto whatever he can grab for dear life, obviously fighting to hold in his scream. The smile becomes a devious smirk as you speed ahead, his gaze desperately flicking between you and the wall dead ahead. You patiently keep him in the foreground, waiting for him to break, while your focus is on watching the scenery blur by behind his head. Finally his eyes stay forward, his body lurching back and climbing up the seat as he stretches his jaw open in a single word yell. "WALLLLLLLLL!" Hm. You didn't expect him to crack for another three bushes.
Throwing the steering wheel to the side, you turn to look out the windshield with a smug expression. You can hear Shadowsan sigh beside you, relaxing just the tiniest hair as your vehicle shoots through the courtyard's exit and out onto the trails used for your class. As you weave through obstacles and sling around turns, your mind wanders. Because, after all, shouldn't Shadowsan be better than this?
Now, to be fair, in any other setting, you would be terrified of the man. The car bursts over a small ramp and you throw it into a vicious ninety-five degree right turn, the tail end just barely pushing aside the underbrush surrounding some kind of massive tree as you come out of it. It has taken you days to perfect that move, but it was consistently your favorite part of the course. Nobody had left your car completely unfazed from their first lesson, not even the Driver, and that stunt was definitely where the spiral into delirium got WAAYYYYYYYYyyyyy steeper.
A small laugh chuckles out of you as Shadowsan stares wide-eyed at the tree. As close as it was, you know it looked even closer from the far side of the car. Hearing your laugh, he turns those wide, wild eyes on you, and your smile grows into something that the Countess has called 'predatory'. Out there on the Island, Vile was in charge. Among Vile, the Faculty were practically kings and queens. But in here, as Coach Brunt had learned in her own first lesson, you were the one who held the power.
The rest of the lesson goes about the same. You would have liked to use the full time slot afforded to you, but you rarely get to on the first lesson. Some of that was because of pity, or maybe guilt, from what you are doing to the poor soul in question. Mostly it was because you were trying to stop just before that point where their terror begins to cause permanent damage or start receding into numbness.
You end the lesson your preferred way: ten high speed donuts in the courtyard where you started. The car jolts to a stop as you come out of the last one, and you hide the wince of pain from the seat belt. Looking over, you can quickly confirm that it wasn't necessary. Shadowsan was pale, his jaw hanging loose, eyes peeled as wide as they could get and his chest swelling with each sucking breath. Your lips are still pulled up a hair in a smirk.
Now for the piece de resistance. (You think that's the appropriate way to use that phrase) Closing your eyes for a second, you sober up your face. In control, you open your eyes and furrow your brow, projecting as much concern as you can. Tentatively, you reach over to squeeze the shoulder of your co-pilot. "Shadowsan; are you okay?"
His head slowly turns to look at you and you fight down amusement at his blatant shock. Instead, you scan him in an obvious motion. "I do believe you are looking a bit ashen, my friend. Perhaps some air would do you good."
"I..." The man's brow scrunches up a bit.
You lean closer, just a hair, giving him your full attention. "Yes?"
He inhales a bit. "That may not be such a bad idea."
You give him a kind smile and nod. "I think so too," reaching down with one hand, you unbuckle his seat belt, "here, let me take care of that for you."
Shadowsan doesn't move as the belt recedes, and his gaze remains vacant when he speaks. "Thank you."
You barely acknowledge him as you keep moving. "Of course." Leaning across the center console, you pull his door's latch and shove it open. "Now out you go Shadowsan." In a daze, he rotates and slowly exits the car. Your voice comes out soothing. "Yeah, there you go buddy." He is in such bad shape he doesn't think to close the door once he's out.
Alone in the car, you take a second. Fistpumping rapidly, you silently party at the outcome, nearly vibrating with joy. Soon you are pulling yourself back together, you take a deep breath and compose yourself. The tie is again straightened, and then you open the door and swoop out with style.
When you're upright, you take a second to undo the button on your jacket, resecure it, and then tug it tight and smooth the wrinkles out. Giving a distinguished sniffle, you step away from the car, closing the door without looking, and round the hood, bearing aloof and gaze off of your student until he's within arms reach.
When you do get a look at the man, you purse your lips tightly, amusement dancing as you give your snottiest, snootiest, poshiest, most punchable chuckle under your breath. It's distinctly the Duke, and just loud enough to be blatantly obviously heard by the person you are mocking. As you expected, it is enough to shake Shadowsan out of his stupor.
The man's eyes return to their normal size, his face settling back into a disapproving scowl-though you think you can see something else under it-and he 'hmm's at you. "I would expect more dignity from the soulmate of VILE Faculty."
Closing your eyes, you bow your head a hair, hands spreading. "But of course." Opening your eyes, you look up from your new position with a smile, like you are completely in control, even if you are submitting to his authority now. "Shall I schedule your next lesson?"
A flash of panic and pure fear slips across his face before he schools himself with a clearing of his throat. "This...may not be in my skill set." Your smile stretches just a hair. His eyes flick aside for a second, and then he sighs. "But, perhaps you would be interested in learning some of my skills."
Your heart skips a beat. Did you just...? Straightening back up, you fold your fingers and move your thumbs around some. "Could you perhaps explain it more for me, dear Shadowsan?"
His eyes bore into yours. "I am offering to personally tutor you, Duke." Oh. OH. YEE-HA-HA-OH-YEAH-IT FINALLY HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NINJA TRAINING! While you are internally losing your mind, your eyes blink at the other man. After what may have been minutes or seconds (you are being offered ninja training, you can be allowed some time to freak out) he addresses you again. "Mr. Duke?" You give a vague hum of detached acknowledgement. "Is everything okay?"
Taking a deep breath in, you smile a hair. "Yes Shadowsan. May I, perhaps, have a short while to consider your offer?"
Shadowsan studies you for a moment as he hums. Then he gives a decisive nod. "I will expect your answer by sundown tomorrow. Good day, Mr.Duke." He has turned and left before you can say or do something Duke-like in response. In the suddenly empty and quiet courtyard, you hear a wind blowing. You. Just got offered. Ninja training.
Spinning to the side, you leap into the air, one fist pumping and the other arm swinging, your head tilted back to the sky. "YES! Ninja training!" Back on the ground, you shove a finger up at the sky, looking intently where it is pointing and giving a satisfied smile. "You listened, you heard, and you delivered." Pulling both hands to your mouth, you blow a massive kiss to the heavens. "Mwah! Thank you Big Guy!"
"Talking to God again?" The voice makes you jump, not unlike Shadowsan. Unlike with him, however, this one isn't because of whose voice it was. Giving your head a shake, you turn to your soulmate with a rueful smile. You really need to be more aware of your surroundings here.
She's dressed in the same outfit she usually is these days. It's the same shade of green as your suit, and styled similarly to that dress with the ridiculous shoulder pads. One of the two main differences was the lack of said shoulder pads. Or maybe a sizing down of them? She still had pointy opening things at the arm-holes, but they were low to her collarbone and barely extended past her arms.
You don't know fashion, so it's not like you know the right words and stuff for any of it. She was lucky you knew shoulderpads from sports and the retro disco nights your sister used to drag you to. What you do know is that she seems even more intimidating than when she had giant green spikes on either side of her head. Just, you know, in a more quiet...sharp way? Let's just say you're now less worried about being thrown to her dogs and more worried about her slitting your throat while you slept.
The other big difference was that she had cut the skirt up so her legs could move easier. Combined with the darker green-you couldn't come up with a shade to save your life, but it's almost black-leggings that slipped in and out of it...You couldn't help comparing your soulmate to some kind of warrior amazon empress. Especially after that one dream where she found out you knew Carmen, sicced Tigress and Paper Star on you, had them cut your hands off so you couldn't drive, tied you to a spear and threw you off the cliff into the ocean. It was a weird dream. And long. But, hey, having your soulmate order your hands cut off sticks with you. "Well?"
Her voice pulls you out of your thoughts, but enough still clings to you that you have to repress a shiver at her demanding eyebrow. Instead, you pull up a very Duke smirk and wiggle one of your own eyebrows. "Who else am I supposed to go to for an honest conversation?"
A split second of anger flashes across her face before she composes herself, smoothing down the front of her dress. "Perhaps your soulmate?" The question comes out sarcastic, in that particular tone that says you are being stupid.
Chuckling out a soft laugh, you sit on the hood of the car, cross your arms and raise your eyebrow. "Come now, Countess; even we have our secrets." Her face locks down tight. Looking at her thin lips, hard eyes, and strong posture, a part of you wishes you could tell her everything. The rest of you is too busy picturing air where your hands used to be.
She doesn't look at you as she strides over to the car. "I'm driving." Oh, it's been one of those days for her. Tossing her the keys, you shoot the big guy a quick prayer that you make it through the night and join her inside the car. You've barely grabbed your seat belt when she takes off.
You've been through this enough times that you don't panic. Okay, maybe you do lunge to buckle your belt, but that's not panic, it's just self-preservation. She whips the car down and around the roads of the island-not your training course, neither of you are suicidal-and you spend the first ten minutes forcing your nerves to calm down with nothing but the sounds of the tires and the engine to fill the silence. Your brain instead latches onto the ways her driving has improved since the first time you two did this.
Then she lets out a growling breath and drops the speed by about 25 miles per hour. "If I have to attend one more of Saira's demonstrations, I am going to dye her entire wardrobe hot pink." And with that the tide of venting begins. When this habit started you had tried to listen to everything she said. Well, when it first started you tried to respond, but that didn't last long.
After a day or two, it had become clear that she wasn't looking for advice, or empty 'Oh yeah's, just someone she could talk to without worrying that the other Faculty would find out. In hindsight, you should have caught on when she demanded your assurance that the car wasn't bugged. It wasn't. You had to know every bolt and fixture to pull off the kind of stunts that made up your 'training'. Anyway, the point is you knew you weren't expected to remember everything she said.
On the other hand, you had also realized that some of this information could be incredibly important. So, you have been working on a happy middle-don't listen to every detail, but catch the important gist of it all. For example; Dr. Bellum is working on a new project, one that has the backing of Professor Maelstrom. Tigress, Mime Bomb, and Neal the Eel have been sent to steal some kind of important paper or other from France.
You store that factoid for whenever you have some time to kill. It's always nice to imagine helping Carmen and the others foil each heist. It makes you feel more like you're still part of the team when you hear that they actually did stop the bad guys. Oh, and your soulmate is about to fail three of the students in this year's class. Mentally, you roll your eyes. Oh no, less thieves for Vile to boss around, what a shame.
Finally, you sense that she is getting ready to wind down-the speedometer going under 50kph is a big hint as well. Which means it's almost your turn. Oh man, you really hope she'll be on board with the ninja training. She smoothly coasts around a turn and you let her see a proud smile at her progress. Then you take a deep breath and dive in. "Shadowsan was my last student today."
The car doesn't swerve-thankfully-but her grip on the steering wheel does tighten enough that the knuckles under her gloves have to be white. She also drives the speedometer up 5kph. After a second, she eases her hold on the rubber just the tiniest hair and reduces her speed once more. "And how did my esteemed colleague take to you teaching?"
You let out a snort that you would choke back in any other situation on the island. "Let's just say that he won't be volunteering for a second lesson." Her grip finishes relaxing and one of those 'predatory' smiles slashes across her face. You match it with one of your own. Then, clearing your throat, you go for the deep end. "He did volunteer to give me some lessons, however."
She hums and you feel your hopes for mad ninja skills start to fade. "Obviously he wants something." A small part of you from when you were still just Zack tries to argue that he might be offering because he sees untapped potential in you. After about three months of this, that voice is getting pretty weak. "Most likely, he hopes to get through your guard somehow." Unfortunately, there are still other parts of you that have a strong voice. One in particular refuses to let you shove it back down.
"On the other hand..." Your voice is, miraculously, calm and reasonable. Which makes what comes out next all the worse. "Ninja training." Every part of you that has not latched onto your excitement at the idea of being a ninja-your sis would probably call it childish-is cringing. So hard. Really? That's the argument you went with?
"Hm. Indeed." Your eyes shoot over to the Countess for a brief moment. How are you supposed to take that? Does she actually think it's a good point? Did she just have her thoughts on you being an idiot confirmed? Does she wish she could get ninja training? Is there a chance you could be a ninja, race-car-driving, fashion-icon power couple?! WHAT DOES IT MEAN!?!?!?!?!? "Regardless, perhaps it is not a bad idea for you to take him up on the offer."
You stare at her. "Huh?" Your eyes blink. No! Say something Duke-like! Like, 'Beg pardon?' or something! "Pardon beg?" NO! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO WEAK AT THE IDEA OF NINJA TRAINING! THREE MONTHS OF WORK, DOWN THE DRAIN!
She smirks without looking at you and heads for the courtyard. "The situation we are in is quite precarious. If, or rather when it turns against us, it would be entirely to our benefit to have our skillsets as broad as possible." The courtyard comes into sight and she frowns, letting out a small sigh. "And while you undergo training from our resident ninja," you wince at the teasing tone she uses for the word, "I will see about resuming my training sessions with Coach Brunt."
Woah. That's quite a commitment. But maybe you're just remembering it wrong. Taking a second, you flip back through your memories of her coming back to the rooms after sparring with the giant of a woman. Nope, it was as bad as you thought it was. "Umm, are you sure about that?"
Pulling the car to a stop, she shuts it off and begins unbelting. "Of course." She pauses before opening the door to exit and looks you in the eye. Her face gives nothing away as she speaks. "After all," one eyebrow comes up, "ninja training." You feel your face instantly flush, and amusement dances across her face as she turns and leaves. You think of a comeback two minutes too late.