Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Batman had been the last one to arrive at the Watchtower. He had never been late before and always arrived at least five minutes earlier, but today he finally stepped into the conference room twelve seconds after the meeting should have begun. It was also for a meeting that he had scheduled.

Even Flash, who was chronically late to everything despite his super speed, had somehow managed to arrive a minute earlier in fear of facing Batman’s ire.

Green Lantern opened his mouth to ask if something had happened when the second figure stepped into the room. He was as tall as Batman and almost as broad. He was wearing a brown leather jacket and a blinding red chrome helmet.

Red Hood, Flash realized. He remembered reading an article that reported that Red Hood had decapitated criminals and stuffed their heads in a duffle bag.

Even Superman narrowed his eyes when he recognized the Gotham crime lord.

Only Wonder Woman and Martian Manhunter, who didn’t check Gotham news unless necessary, remained blissfully aware of the discomfort that Red Hood's very presence caused the other Justice League members.

Batman stood at the front of the room and began presenting his powerpoint while Red Hood took the only empty seat– Batman’s seat. He placed his booted feet on the table and languidly observed the room, not even pretending to pay attention.

Aquaman waited patiently (for 7 seconds) for Batman to say something but once it was clear that Batman wasn’t going to say anything he decided to intervene. “Um, Batman,” he started, glancing at Red Hood before turning back to Batman.

Batman’s glare at being interrupted caused the remaining words in his throat to abandon him and flee in fear.

“We’ll talk about him later,” he growled. He paused to glare pointedly at Red Hood’s feet on the table, and Red Hood stared back. His posture relaxed, as if he was daring Batman to say anything.

The Justice League held their breath. Batman was the undefeated winner of staring contests, so there was no way that Red Hood would—

Batman broke contact first and resumed his presentation.

The Justice League blinked.

Flash and Green Lantern made eye contact. Did-did you see that too? Flash would have entertained the thought of this all being a weird dream, but not but not even in his dreams would Batman give up on a staring contest.

The majority of what was covered in the meeting went through one ear and out the other. Wonder Woman, Superman, and Martian Manhunter were the only ones paying at least a little attention. Wonder Woman and Martian Manhunter glanced at Red Hood with curiosity while Superman glanced at him in the same way one would eye a spider that was slowly moving across the room so they would be prepared to move if it made a move towards them.

A very long twenty-one minutes later, the powerpoint had finally ended and the Justice League members stared intently at Red Hood.

“This is Red Hood,” Batman finally introduced. “He's a Gotham vigilante. Something came up and I will no longer be able to work on the drug cartel investigation–” he paused to nod at Wonder Woman, Superman, and Flash, the other members of the case, “–so Red Hood will be filling in for me.”

The Justice League blinked. Batman had someone he trusted enough to fill in for him in a case? (He’d known the Justice League for the better part of the decade and didn’t even trust them to organize the mission report cabinet.)

Red Hood gave a lazy wave in greeting.

“Any questions?” Batman asked.

Green Lantern shifted uncomfortably. He wanted to ask about Red Hood’s...history. But Batman’s glare made it clear that wasn’t something up for discussion. I may not trust Red Hood, but I do trust Batman, he finally decided, keeping silent.

“If there are no questions,” Batman glanced at the clock on the wall, “I have to return to Gotham now.” He nodded at the Justice League before leaving the conference and heading toward the Zetas.

Within two seconds of Batman leaving the conference room, Green Lantern and Aquaman made a hasty escape and Martian Manhunter excused himself a moment later when his communicator buzzed. This had left Red Hood, Flash, Superman, and Wonder Woman–who had volunteered to help with the drug case–left at the conference table.

“Hi,” Red Hood breaks the silence and nods at them. He pulls out a poster and black marker from his pocket and slides them over to Wonder Woman, “I’m a fan, can I have an autograph?”

“Of course,” Wonder Woman smiled warmly as she accepted the marker.

-

Working together with the Red Hood had gone much better than Flash had expected. He was very resourceful and his methods were actually rather similar to Batman.

He’d also shared a few stories about Batman. 

Wonder Woman, Superman, and Flash had listened to each story attentively and had learned more about Batman this past week than in all the years they had known in.

“He’s useless in the kitchen,” Red Hood had claimed. “He can’t cook. At all. I saw him try to make pasta once and I’m still traumatized.”

Flash had been absolutely gleeful to hear that Batman, Mr. I can do anything and everything perfectly, couldn’t cook. He’d promptly excused himself and sped off to find Green Lantern so they could gossip.

-

With the four of them working together, they’d disassembled the entire cartel by the end of the week. They were at the Watchtower, writing their mission reports and Flash was a bit saddened that this would be the end of their partnership with Red Hood. He had absolutely loved hearing stories about Batman and had discovered that their rigid teammate only acted like a robot, but wasn’t actually one.

“It’s nice to see that Batman has friends,” Superman remarked.

Red Hood, who was typing up his case report, paused. “What.”

“You and Batman. He usually keeps to himself, so it’s nice to see that he has a friend,” Superman said.

Hood stared at him for another moment before he started chuckling and soon it turned into full on laughter.

Superman felt slightly embarrassed, but also offended. While he would be the first to admit that Batman wasn’t the friendliest person, he knew that Batman had a good heart. Wonder Woman and Flash shared the sentiment.

Batman was their friend. And even at the very least, he was their coworker. They felt upset for Batman in that someone he trusted enough to take over a case that he was working on and even introduced to the Justice League thought the very idea of being his friend was absurd. Batman had even been more open with Red Hood and less paranoid about his identity if Red Hood’s stories were anything to go by.

“Haha..." Superman managed a dry laugh.

“So you and Batman are definitely not friends,” Wonder Woman states, her tone wasn’t cold, but it wasn’t warm like it was before either.

Red Hood chucked again. “Nope. I’m his son-in-law.”

Superman and Wonder Woman froze and Flash’s jaw dropped.

“His son-in-law?” Flash parroted. Wait. For Batman to even have a son-in-law...He has a kid?

“Yup,” Red Hood nodded. “I married his daughter. But—“

Well, it makes sense why he knows so much about Batman now, Superman realizes.

“—he doesn’t know that.”

Wait. What. “He doesn’t know you’re married to his daughter?” Superman questions. How does Batman not know???

“We eloped,” he answered the unasked question bluntly.

Wonder Woman tilts her head in consideration. “When do you plan on telling Batman?”

He shrugs. “I’m going to put it off as long as I can because the day he finds out is the day he breaks his no-kill rule.”

The three members of the Justice League blink.

“I married his only daughter,” Red Hood explains. “My brothers-in-law will probably come after me if they find out too.”

Brothers-in-law? So Batman has more than one kid. Flash ponders. He thought of asking Batman for half a second before promptly deciding that it would be pointless. Batman considered his hair color a breach of his civilian identity. There was no way he would answer questions about his children.

Red Hood submits his report. “I'm heading back. And don’t tell Batman.”

With a casual salute, he’s out the door while the Flash, Wonder Woman, and Superman were still contemplating over the last five minutes.

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to be continued...

[extra: in one ear out the other]

“What are you doing ?” Batman growled. He was on his last nerve.

“We were just tying up the criminals–” Green Lantern began.

“We discussed this in the last meeting,” he interrupted, pinching his nose. Working with his children was easier than this. At least they half-listened at meetings. Not everything he said went in one ear and out the other, most of it, yes, but not all of it! “When we’re working as a team, Flash and Superman use their super speed to get on site first and scope out the situation and we enter the premises in pairs! Then, we tie up the criminals.”

“Ah,” Flash said, vaguely remembering a slide that mentioned this.

Even Wonder Woman and Superman, who were usually stellar examples, looked down guiltily.

It was just...Batman had brought Red Hood with him to the last meeting. And they were all distracted.

“We’ll discuss this at the next meeting, where you will actually listen to what I say,” Batman said with a sigh.

He glared at the other members of the Justice League who were nodding their heads like chickens pecking at rice.

Chapter Text

Bruce’s eye twitched under his cowl. He could feel Green Lantern’s gaze boring into his skull. In fact, Martian Manhunter, Aquaman, and Green Lantern have all been staring at him intently since he walked into the rec room fourteen minutes ago.

It started yesterday with Flash, Wonder Woman, and Superman smiling at him. The 83 times (yes, he was counting) they caught Batman’s eye that day, they had smiled at him. And they were still smiling at him today.

It sent shivers up Bruce’s spine. Like all Gothamites, he was allergic to smiles and receiving so many in one day was deeply unsettling.

And since he arrived at the Watchtower, the remaining three members of the Justice League had started acting strange as well.

This could not go on. He needed to get to the bottom of whatever this was.

He grabbed a can of coffee from the vending machine as he mentally prepared himself to solve this mystery. He took a seat at the round table and breathed deeply.

“Sit. All of you. We need to talk,” Batman’s gravelly voice ordered.

The other League members slowly moved towards the table, hesitant. Nothing good ever happened when Batman called for an unplanned meeting. They changed their snail’s pace after receiving a particularly cold glare.

Flash and Green Lantern fidgeted anxiously due to the tense atmosphere and Aquaman shifted in his chair uncomfortably. Wonder Woman, Superman, and Martian Manhunter were as dignified as always but with the slightest sliver of guilt in their eyes.

Did Batman already know? Definitely. Red Hood wanted to keep the fact that he was Batman’s son-in-law from him, but the League had known that it would only be a matter of time until Batman found out. He knew everything. (Frankly, it was quite disturbing. No one should know that much.) And if he didn’t, he would find out. 

But should they wait for Batman to bring it up or should they bring it up first?

Bruce glared at the team intensely and silently. A picture is worth a thousand words, but a glare is worth a million.

He isn’t disappointed.

Flash is the first to crack. “We’re sorry!” he wails. He wouldn’t wish being on the receiving end of a Batglare on his worst enemy.

“For,” Batman fishes for information.

“For trying to keep it a secret,” Green Lantern says.

“Yes,” Superman looks at the table sheepishly. “It’s just...Red Hood...” he trails off.

Bruce’s brows furrowed. This has to do with Jason? But I read all their reports and the mission went smoothly. So something happened after the mission at the Watchtower?

“We figured that it was a family situation,” Wonder Woman says.

Aquaman nods.

Bruce paused. He had never even brought up his kids or family with his teammates. What exactly did Jason tell them? Though Bruce still thought of Jason as a son (and he occasionally got the feeling that Jason still saw him as a father-figure) there was no way Jason would admit it aloud to himself, much less to the Justice League.

“A family situation,” Batman finally repeats, slowly.

The League falters. They look over at each other. Maybe Batman refused to accept Red Hood as his son-in-law? But regardless...

“Yes,” Martian Manhunter confirms. “Since Red Hood is your son-in-law, you are legally related, so we concluded that it wasn’t our business.”

Bruce froze. His heart stuttered and he’d never been happier than at that moment that he’d made sure his suit was lead-lined so Superman couldn’t hear his heartbeat. 

The words echoed in his head and his thoughts were tumultuous. ‘Red Hood is your son-in-law. Son-in-law. Son-in-law. Son-in-law.’ He suddenly remembers Casp’s offhand comment (or at least, what he’d then dismissed as an offhand comment, but in hindsight, it clearly wasn’t) that Jason and Timi were close.

He wasn’t sure exactly how to react. On one hand, he wanted to cry because his baby ( ‘She’s my daughter,’ Janet would have corrected had she been there) had been seduced by the Red Hood, a crime lord. And she’d even married the crime lord.

On the other hand, something warm and fuzzy bubbled up in his chest because the Red Hood was Jason and Jason was officially part of the family again.

Wait. Another thought interrupted. Jason and Timi eloped. Bruce almost flinched when he thought of how he’d have to be the one to break the news to Alfred that Jason and Timi eloped.

“I see,” Batman managed to mutter. “I appreciate your tact and consideration.”

With a final nod, Bruce calmly walked out of the room and rushed to the Zeta Tubes as soon as he was out of his teammates line of sight.

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Fin.

[extra: mother-in-law]

The first thing Bruce does when he’s back at the cave is call Janet.

He paces as it rings and the call is finally accepted.

“Do you have any idea what time it is?” Janet says, her voice rough, as if she just woke.

Normally, Bruce would be apologetic, but his announcement was too important to waste time on saying sorry. “We have a son-in-law.”

“I have a son-in-law,” Janet corrects.

“You knew? And you didn’t tell me about our son-in-law?”

“Of course I knew,” she says, choosing to ignore Bruce’s blatant disregard for the facts that Timi was her daughter and Jason was her son-in-law. “While Drake isn’t a rare last name, it is uncommon and Timi and I are the only Drakes’ in Gotham. So when a ‘Jason Drake’ appeared on the Gotham Police Department’s database, of course I investigated.”

Bruce paused. “You have access to the GCPD database?”

“We both have access to the GCPD database.”

“Batman–”

“Is a vigilante with no legal authority that fights crime while playing dress up in a bat costume. Your ‘access’ to the database isn’t any more legitimate than mine.”

He paused for a long moment before clearing his throat. “Back to Jason and Timi...” Bruce attempted to redirect the conversation.

Janet is merciful and humors him. “And my son-in-law also got me a ‘World’s Best Mother-In-Law’ mug on their anniversary. So yes, I’m well aware that I have a son-in-law.” She pauses to yawn, “I’m going back to bed. If you wake me up again, I’ll call Alfred and make sure he enforces your sleep schedule for a whole week.”

The call disconnects and Bruce stares at his phone, horrified. A-A whole week with an eight-hour sleep schedule enforced by Alfred. Bruce resolves to never call Janet again. Her threats were serious. (He knew from past experience.)

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[extra: rose head]

“Alfred,” Bruce said, taking a seat at one of the barstools.

“Yes, Master Bruce?” Alfred prompted, carefully clipping the thorns of a few yellow roses to put in a vase.

“I...heard something very interesting today.” Bruce was not stalling. Not at all.

“Oh?”

“Yes...,” He braced himself. Just rip off the bandaid, Bruce, he encouraged himself. “It turns out that I have a son-in-law. Timi and Jason are married.”

Snip.

Bruce’s eyes widened into saucers. He stared with a mixture of horror and fascination. Alfred had accidentally cut off a rose head instead of the thorn.

“Is that so?” Alfred’s smile was dazzling. “I have been dreaming of planning a beautiful wedding for years, but Master Jason and Miss Timi have eloped?”

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[extra: first reaction]

Dick’s first reaction to the news that his baby sister was married was to flip through his wallet for the sticky note with Deathstroke’s number so he could hire him to assassinate Timi’s husband. Dick’s ‘brother-in-law.’

Timi was his precious baby bird and no one was good enough. No one!

And how dare this random stranger elope with Timi! How dare he!

And then Bruce had mentioned the vital detail that Timi was married to Jason.

Dick didn’t know exactly how to feel. He hugged his pillow, pouting. He felt extremely betrayed that not one, but two of his siblings had eloped. And though he no longer wanted to hire Deathstroke since his brother-in-law was Jason, he still felt rather annoyed.

And to make matters worse, Casp had known about it!

Hmph! Dick sulked.

He resolved to get back at both Jason and Casp by drowning them in hugs every time he saw them.

-

Back at the Manor, Damian shared a similar sentiment. Since he’d heard of Drake’s elopement, he’d started sharpening every blade in his arsenal and had pulled out his box of poisons that he’d left in his closet to gather dust.

Damian was still debating on whether to use spider venom or snake venom to deal with his so-called ‘brother-in-law’ when his door burst open and Brown stormed in.

“Damian! Give me one of your poisons!” she ordered. “Timi got hitched to some moron and we need to murder him.”

Damian had never liked Brown more than he did at that moment. “Should we use spider venom or snake venom?” he asked, holding up two glass vials.

“Hmmm,” Steph hummed in thought, inspecting both vials carefully. “The spider–”

“What are you doing?” Duke asked from the doorway, brows furrowed. “Is-is that poison?”

“We need to eliminate the imbecile that seduced Drake and convinced her to elope with him,” Damian explained.

Steph nodded in agreement. “Yes, how dare he marry Timi without our permission? I refuse to acknowledge him as my best friend’s husband. He’d be better off dead!”

“You’re going to kill Jason?” Duke asked.

Damian and Steph blinked. “What?” Steph asked. “What does Jason have to do with this?”

Duke opened his mouth before closing it. He felt betrayed. These...these were the vigilantes of Gotham. Did they only listen to the part where Bruce said Timi was married and nothing after that? “Timi is married to Jason,” he explains slowly.

Steph and Damian paused. Timi married Jason?

“Our Jason?!” Steph asks.

“Yes, our Jason,” Duke nods.

Damian’s scowl deepened. “Tt,” he clicked his tongue.

Steph puffs her cheeks, enraged. “So it isn’t some stranger. It’s Jason, our Jason, and he still married Timi without my permission.”

She turns back to Damian. “Since it’s our Jason, we can’t kill him,” she concludes, begrudgingly. “Do you have any less potent poisons that don’t cause instant death?”

Damian changes his mind. He had never liked Brown more than he did at this moment.

“Of course,” he says and pulls out another box of poisons from under his bed and starts explaining their properties and effects.

Duke wishes he had a time machine so he could warn his younger, naive self about getting involved with the Bats.

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[extra: doorbell]

“Remember how we were talking about telling the Bats that we’re married?” Jason asks, stepping into Timi’s home office with a mug of coffee.

She stops typing. “I remember,” she says, eyeing him.

Jason makes sure to pose casually. He tilts his head five degrees left so a sunbeam from the early autumn sun would land on his neck. Hopefully Timi would notice his collarbone and bite it later.

“I may or may not have revealed that the Red Hood is Batman’s son-in-law to the Justice League,” Jason says, handing Timi the coffee.

She takes a sip and hums in satisfaction.

“I told them to not tell Batman, but of course he’s going to find out.”

Not even a second later, the doorbell rang.

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[extra: family portrait]

A week later, all the Bats are at Wayne Manor, which had been decorated exquisitely in white rose garlands and fairy lights, courtesy of Alfred of course. He had also carefully selected appropriate outfits for the entire family and chose a scrumptious menu based on Jason and Timi’s favorite dishes.

It was a small gathering. Since Jason and Timi had no interest in an actual wedding ceremony, Alfred had decided that a few wedding photos and a family banquet would suffice.

Bruce’s eyes were watery and he dabbed at them the whole morning with a handkerchief that Alfred had tucked into this suit pocket.

Everything goes smoothly until Jason eats the last cake pop and Damian pulls out a katana. Dick had rushed over to diffuse the situation while Casp, Steph, and Timi watched the scene, amused. Barbara and Duke wisely ignored the fuss, choosing to stuff themselves with Alfred’s brownies instead. 

“Todd, you cretin!” Damian shouted.

“It’s Drake now, brat!” Jason pointed at his square cut diamond ring.

Janet rolled her eyes, the slight quirk of her lips giving away her mirth while Bruce watched his children with an affectionate grin.

A week later, the photos arrive and Alfred’s smile is particularly fond as he frames a family portrait and places it on the mantle.