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It’s been around a week since Vecna was vanquished for good. Hawkins is in shambles, and everyone is still recovering, but overall, things are alright. People are more relaxed than they’ve been in years, with everything seemingly over. Or… it will be over, more accurately. The Upside Down has tried to take over their world, but without its leader guiding it, it has stopped. Slowly, the other world is slinking back where it came from, but occasionally, things still cross over, which must be dealt with.
These incursions are dangerous but not overly so. Most of the animals have lost their sheer aggression, but they’re still wild animals that hunt to eat and will attack if provoked, and the plants have to be dealt with carefully. Patrols of 2 or more people around known cross-over spots have been established.
Argyle and Jonathan are on patrol tonight, slowly wandering the wooded area. Jonathan wields an axe that he rests on his shoulder, with lighters and alcohol hanging off his waist. Argyle has Nancy’s shotgun strapped to his back, but he also has a sledgehammer, which he vastly prefers over the gun, but he has it just in case.
Neither have the urge to talk much, exhaustion weighing them both down. They ran out of weed weeks ago, which always helped the conversation flow easier. But it’s not an uncomfortable silence, and Argyle is thankful to have any time with his boyfriend.
That’s another thing that happened during all of the chaos. During the fateful drive to Hawkins, Jonathan couldn’t hold himself back anymore, pulling Argyle into a bruising kiss during a stop at a gas station. The Californian was more than happy to reciprocate.
That feels like a lifetime ago, and they haven’t done much about it since. The pair haven’t even really talked about being together. They’ve had some kisses, but with everything going on, they’ve been distracted, to put it lightly. Jonathan is waiting for the right moment, whenever that would be, and Argyle is waiting for Jonathan, not wanting to push him on anything.
Jonathan opens his mouth, almost ready to say something. But he quickly shuts it again, focusing on the dim forest before him. The all-too-familiar buzz of anxiety in his head drowns out any words he would have wanted to say, reminding him that he’d be best not to shatter their new relationship. Thankfully, Argyle doesn’t seem to notice his plight, moseying along as usual.
But Argyle’s heavy, lazy steps suddenly stop. Jonathan walks a little more, but the other doesn’t follow him. The shorter turns around, keeping the wince off his face as he does it. His back pain has been acting up lately, but he’s been popping pain meds and going on with his life. Argyle stands there, peering out off to the side, standing as tall as he can, even pushing himself up to his tippy toes.
“Argyle?” Jonathan asks.
“Am I going crazy, dude, or is that really there?” Argyle asks. The tall man points, and Jonathan follows with his eyes. For a long moment, he sees nothing, just a bunch of trees, but then a dim, blink-and-you-miss-it glow of blue light shines from beyond a small cluster.
“Oh, shit,” Jonathan mumbles, and just like that, they’re tearing through the trees, approaching it. It takes a minute to get through the vegetation, but once they do, it’s easy to find what they’re looking for.
Before them is a small patch of glowing flowers. They’re similar in structure to marigolds, but instead of yellow and orange, the petals are bright blue, and the stems are black. The flowers glow steadily like a nightlight in a dark room.
“The fuck are those?” Argyle asks, pointing, and Jonathan racks his brain for an answer. Nothing he’s ever seen or heard of resembles anything like these flowers.
“I don’t know,” Jonathan mumbles, “I didn’t think the Upside-Down could even have flowers.” Jonathan pauses for a second. “Radio the others and make sure nothing else is nearby.” Argyle nods, reaching for the walkie-talkie on his hip.
“I’ll be close, dude. Just… holler if you need to,” Argyle says softly, a touch of fear in his eyes. Jonathan nods back, knowing that Argyle would come to his rescue like a bat outta hell if he needed to, his chest warming slightly at that fact. The taller man wanders away as Jonathan crouches down to get a better look, wincing as his hips ache from the action.
Jonathan almost expects the flowers to move or do something, as nothing from the Upside-Down can ever really be innocent. But the plants just stand there, unassuming and glowing. He pulls out his axe, holding it in one hand as he gently touches the closest flower with the blade. Again, the plant doesn’t react to the touch, just swaying slightly. Taking a chance, he rears up, swinging up strong enough to sever the stem. The flower head falls, immediately dimming till it goes out, and it spits out blue powder like pollen but otherwise does nothing.
“I think we’re all clear, dude,” Argyle’s voice rings out as he steps into view.
“Good. These don’t seem dangerous, but I’d rather not take a chance,” Jonathan says, holding back a groan as he stands. Argyle nods.
“Yeah, good call.” Argyle pulls out his sledgehammer. The pair spends the next 15 minutes smashing and chopping every single plant they can find, leaving only a blue mess on the ground. Pollen floats in the air around them, making them both sneeze, but soon enough, the entire bed is trampled and dead.
“Ready to go back?” Argyle asks with a grin, glancing at the dead plants. Jonathan nods, and the taller leans forward, kissing his forehead. Jonathan blushes to the roots of his hair, but Argyle is already turned around, wandering back toward the others.
They start to walk together, but the journey seems much longer than it did the first time. Jonathan wonders if his body is just sputtering out on him like an old car, but then he notices that Argyle is also starting to huff and puff, his face lightly shiny with sweat.
“How… far did we go, dude?” Argyle attempts to joke, but it doesn’t quite land. Jonathan doesn’t react, just slowing down more.
“Argyle…” Jonathan gasps, promptly tumbling to the ground, weakly attempting to catch himself.
“Jonathan!” Argyle cries out in alarm, even though his voice is laced with exhaustion. He kneels next to the shorter male, grasping his shoulder with a shaky hand. “We… we gotta go, dude,” Argyle mumbles weakly, unsure if he’s trying to convince himself or Jonathan. The more petite boy blinks heavily, unable to do more than twitch on the ground.
“Oh, shit,” Argyle mumbles, voice slurring like he’s drunk. “Shit, shit, shit…” He palms at the walkie-talkie, barely able to get his hand around it. He’s unsure if he’s pressing the right buttons as he brings it up to his face, panic swelling, fighting the tiredness seeping into his bones.
“Red! Red… alert… We need… help…please,” Argyle’s voice trails off as he drops the device, collapsing on top of Jonathan, the world instantly going black.
~~~
Ever so slowly, the world starts to come back into focus. It starts off blurry and indistinct, and Jonathan’s brain is scrambled. It takes a long moment for him to remember what happened and those fucking flowers. He next thinks of Argyle, and icy fear grips his heart. He has no idea how long he’s been out or if something worse has happened to either of them.
Even so, it takes a great effort to keep his eyes open and realize where he is. He’s no longer in the woods, staring at a bland ceiling and lying on something much more comfortable than the hard ground.
“Hey, he’s awake!” Someone calls out much too loudly off to the side. Jonathan grimaces at the volume, and it takes him a moment to place the voice. It’s… Eddie, he’s pretty sure, but turning his head is too hard right now.
“Hey, man, how are you doing?” A different voice asks much softer, and they move to hover right over Jonathan’s face. Luckily, he just needs one look at that massive hair to figure out who it is, even with blurry vision.
Jonathan groans, tongue heavy in his mouth. His voice sounds… odd like it’s deeper, but he’s also thirsty as hell and barely conscious, so he doesn’t give it much thought.
“Yeah, that’s about what we expected,” Steve says dryly. “We’re just glad you’re awake, man.”
“When you called it, babbling about needing help, we had assumed the worst,” Eddie chimes in, and Jonathan’s eyebrows twitch. He doesn’t remember calling for help. “But we found you two just fucking draped over each other. We had to haul your asses back, just knocked out cold.” Eddie grips his shoulder, shaking it.
“We almost had to drag you,” Eddie jokes, “No offense, man, but you couldn’t have collapsed a little closer? I mean, Nancy was able to carry the little dude, but we nearly dropped you like three times.” Eddie motions between him and Steve. Jonathan would chastise Eddie, saying he’s not that heavy, but he pauses. If they struggled to lift him, how the hell did they get Argyle back? And Nancy carried him? He knows she’s strong, but holy hell.
Steve and Eddie glance at each other as their attempt at lightening the mood falls flat. Steve swallows, opening his mouth.
“Are… you okay? Do you need anything?” Steve asks slowly, hovering awkwardly.
“I need…” Jonathan croaks, and he jumps at his own voice. It’s definitely different, deeper, and smoother, even with the rasp of his dry throat. He swallows. “Where’s Argyle?”
Eddie and Steve physically jerk away from him in surprise. Eddie’s eyes are wide, and his jaw hangs slightly open. Steve’s face, by contrast, is much more emotional, his eyes saddened as he gnaws his lip, sighing heavily. This does nothing to help Jonathan’s growing anxiety, and he can feel the precipice of an anxiety attack approaching, but he hardly cares.
“Where is he?” Jonathan asks again, firmer this time, “Is… is he okay? Is he hurt?”
“It seems like he might be,” Eddie mumbles under his breath, earning a hard elbow from Steve. The metalhead’s shoulders slump, and Steve sighs softly.
“I don’t know how to say this, but ... You are Argyle,” Steve finally says.
He says something more, but Jonathan doesn’t hear it, his brain still comprehending what he’s been told. Jonathan abruptly pushes himself into a sitting position, and it’s honestly easier than he thought it’d be. Eddie throws out his hands as if he’s trying to push him back or catch him. As Jonathan entirely sits up, he realizes he must look down to look the other two in the eyes. He’s the shortest out of the guys in their group, being basically the exact same height as Robin and only taller than Nancy.
“Easy, easy,” Steve whispers.
“I’m not Argyle,” Jonathan presses, “Don’t you recognize me?”
“We do,” Steve says quickly, but the gentle tone doesn’t match the crease of worry on his face, “But why don’t we get up so we can bring you to the hospital?” He reaches out to grab Jonathan’s arm, but Jonathan smacks his hand away. As he does it, Jonathan freezes as he sees his own hand.
His hand is big, the same one he’d often think about and itch to hold. His skin is much darker than usual, with his palm being a lighter shade, and his skin is soft, not calloused, and scarred from work. Even the shape of his fingers is different. Eddie is talking to him, but he can’t hear over his hammering heart and rapid breathing.
Jonathan shoves against the bed, launching himself up onto his shaky legs. He nearly falls flat on his face but manages to stay upright. Eddie and Steve crowd around him, trying to get him to sit. Once again, he towers over them and sways like a building caught in the wind.
“I-I need to see him,” Jonathan mumbles, shouldering past the other two. As he does, long black hair flies in front of his face, getting in his mouth and eyes. He brushes it back, barreling out of the door. Thankfully, he knows his way around the Harrington house, quickly moving toward the other bedrooms.
One by one, he opens and looks in the other rooms until he pushes into one of the guest rooms and freezes. Nancy and Robin spin around to stare at him with a mix of confusion and shock, but what catches his attention most is who they are surrounding.
He lies on the bed, or at least his body does. Jonathan’s legs threaten to go out from under him as his own body breathes softly, a wet rag on his (it’s?) forehead. It groans, rubbing its eyes.
“He’s okay, Argyle-” Nancy starts to say, but Jonathan is already rushing towards them, nearly shoving Robin onto the floor. Just a moment later, Steve and Eddie catch up to him, with the girl’s confusion only growing. Jonathan grips his body’s shoulders.
“Hey, hey, wake up!” Jonathan says in his too-deep voice. Argyle’s voice. His body groans, nearly whining.
“Five more minutes….” His body groans, and Jonathan refrains from cringing at his own voice. He’s never really liked the sound of it.
“No, not five more minutes. Now!”
“Fine, fine, man,” his body huffs, opening his eyes. Any irritation is quickly erased by pure shock.
“Woah… trippy,” his body mumbles, and Jonathan sighs softly.
“Argyle?” Jonathan asks.
“Yeah… other me?” His body, Argyle, says back, grinning slightly. Jonathan is torn between being relieved that he knows Argyle is okay and being distraught over everything else.
“I’m Jonathan.”
“Oooh, shit,” Argyle mumbles, “Why do you look like me, dude? It’s not Halloween yet.” Jonathan can’t help but laugh. Even with this, Argyle is still Argyle.
“I don’t know. Why do you look like me?” Jonathan counters. Argyle pauses, his eyes going wide. His hands fly up to his face, feeling all around his head and down his chest before he settles by staring at his hands.
“Oh, Dios mío….” Argyle mumbles. Jonathan idly notes how his Spanish is still fluent, but he has a distinctly American accent, which he never had before.
“I’m sorry, but what the hell is going on?!” Robin says, finally breaking the pair out of their world. For a moment, everyone is quiet, but then Argyle makes grabby hands toward Jonathan.
“Help me up, man,” Argyle says, and Jonathan grabs him. He tugs hard but either underestimates his strength or overestimates his body’s weight, and Argyle nearly comes crashing into him.
“Thanks,” Argyle says once he’s sitting up, “Why did that hurt so much, dude? It shouldn’t be that hard to get out of bed.” He rubs his back and hip with one hand, holding onto Jonathan with the other. Jonathan waves him off, glancing toward the others. Only then does he notice the distinct lack of the chronic pain he’s become accustomed to over the years. No wonder he was able to move so well.
“We found some fucky flowers,” Argyle articulates. Jonathan doesn’t miss the odd looks from the others, likely from that kind of talk coming from his body, “We smooshed them all, but they spit their pollen shit on us, and we passed out. Then we woke up here. And now we’ve, like, swapped bodies or something, man.” Everyone stares at them for a long moment.
“No fucking way,” Eddie finally breaks the silence, “I mean, we’ve seen some shit, but really?!” Steve levels a dull glare at the other.
“Eddie-” Robin sighs.
“Prove it,” Eddie continues, defiant. Jonathan sighs, and Argyle just grins.
“Mi hermoso y brillante novio no sabe nada de español. ¿Es esta prueba suficiente para ti, Eddie el Desterrado?” Argyle smirks as Eddie blinks at him.
“I have no idea what you just said, but I’ll take it,” Eddie says. Robin chuckles beside them.
“Yeah, it’s enough,” she responds to Argyle. “It’s weird seeing you say that, though.” Argyle just shrugs.
“Hey, I’m learning,” Jonathan huffs good-naturedly.
“Yeah, you’re accent is shit, man,” Argyle doesn’t hesitate to say, “You need more practice on pronunciation. I can barely pronounce things right.” Jonathan rolls his eyes.
“Now you,” Steve buts in, pointing at Jonathan in Argyle’s tall body, “Prove it’s you.”
“Seriously-” Jonathan starts before sighing, thinking momentarily, “... That’s the thing about perverts. It’s hard-wired into them. See, he knows it’s wrong, but he can’t help it. We just have to take away his toy,” Jonathan quotes with a level voice. Steve winces, turning to stare at the floor. Jonathan then turns to look at Nancy. “But maybe we should just cut the bullshit and share the damn bed.” Nancy’s face lights up, grinning.
“You couldn’t have picked something else for me?” Steve asks, cheeks dusted red. Everyone, other than Nancy, stares at Jonathan with confusion and concern. Argyle especially seems on edge.
“I had to pick something you’d remember,” Jonathan teases, “We’re long past that… fucked up time.”
“God, I’d hope so.”
“Okay,” Robin cuts in before more questions can be asked, knowing that’s a story for later. “Now that we’ve done that, what should we do now?”
“Well, right now… no one seems in immediate danger,” Nancy says, immediately jumping into her planning mind. “But we don’t know hardly anything about this. I suggest we leave this for tomorrow. Everyone’s tired, and for all we know, this will be fixed on its own.” A few look ready to protest, but one stern look from her silences them. It’s not like she’s wrong at all.
The group gives the swapped pair a lot of space, letting them shower and eat first. Jonathan has to bite his tongue as he watches them walk on eggshells around, but Argyle doesn’t seem to mind. He eventually has to hide in the bathroom, standing in the shower for a long moment. Jonathan spends most of it staring at the ceiling, trying to preserve his and Argyle’s dignity, but he still gets quite the eyeful at moments.
He has to admit that Argyle has quite a beautiful body. He’s plush and warm and inviting. There have been many times when Jonathan just wanted to throw himself into the other and curl up against him. He wants to mush his face against his soft chest and never leave.
Jonathan’s never had the guts to say any of this or do anything, but then it just leads him to everything he isn’t feeling. Sure, he feels the desire to snuggle and kiss, but why does he never feel the urge to do… anything more? It’s a question that’s plagued his mind for years at this point. Even with Argyle’s gorgeous form in front of him, he doesn’t feel that lingering heat that other people talk about, the urge to touch everywhere.
Jonathan’s always known that his relationship with sex has always been different. When he was younger, first going through puberty, he was one of the only kids who wanted it to stop. While almost everybody finds puberty a nuisance at best, most are still excited to be mature at the end, but not Jonathan. He hated it whenever he got hard or had to touch himself to make it go away, as it always felt dirty and wrong for reasons he couldn’t explain.
He was almost in tears when he would touch himself, thinking that he was supposed to like the other boys in his class. The thought of someone else touching him makes him nauseous, and his skin feels grimy. It didn’t take long for Jonathan to stop touching himself, just baring it until it went away or taking ice-cold showers. Luckily, as he got older, he had fewer dreams and became hard less often.
He figured it was done, then. He wouldn’t have to worry about it again. Nancy and him… were never like that together, and neither wanted to be. But now that he’s with Argyle, he’s forced to face this. Argyle’s more than open about his sexual habits even before they officially got together, and Jonathan knows he doesn’t have the same issues with it. Argyle will probably want sex at some point if he doesn’t already.
Jonathan does not want to lose the man he loves more than anything because he can’t act any better than a grossed-out little kid. He might be able to pleasure Argyle without being touched, but the other might want more. Maybe he could fake it until he made it? He isn’t sure.
Jonathan finally leaves the shower after a struggle with his hair and quickly dresses. As he goes to Steve’s guest room, he hopes to leave his thoughts behind, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.
He walks into the room and finds Argyle staring at himself in the mirror. Jonathan feels himself blush as Argyle flaunts his new body only in shorts. Jonathan sighs, glancing away and squashing down his feelings.
“Oh, there you are, dude,” Argyle says, barely glancing away. He runs his hands over his bony chest, placing his hands on his narrow hips. “Also, how were you single before me?” Jonathan knows that’s supposed to be a compliment, but it just makes his stomach churn. He wordlessly goes to sit on the bed.
“Hey… is everything all right?” Argyle asks, moving to the bed and sitting down.
“Besides the obvious?” Jonathan says wryly. Argyle shoves his arm playfully.
“C’mon, I mean it.”
“Could… Could you put on a shirt, please?” Jonathan asks softly, and he immediately regrets it. Argyle’s face shifts to a gentle concern, but he wordlessly obliges, throwing on one of Steve’s spare shirts. They both know how much Argyle wants to ask about it, but he doesn’t for now, focusing on something else.
“Did you, like, pull a muscle or something and not tell me?” Argyle asks, placing his hands on his lower back and stretching. Jonathan wishes he could not talk about this either, but it’s better than before.
“Not recently,” Jonathan says with a shrug, and Argyle goes stock still.
“Do you… feel this every day?”
“More or less. Some days are better than others. Today was actually alright.” There’s a sudden weight against his back, thin arms wrapping around his middle.
“Jonathan…” Argyle starts, but Jonathan cuts him off.
“Don’t worry about it. This is normal for me.”
“The normal amount of pain is none!” Argyle snaps. “How come you never told me?” He says softer.
“Never thought it was that bad,” Jonathan says with a shrug, “But you feel strong.”
“So do you,” Argyle counters, “Under all the aches. How did this happen, bro?”
“Honestly, I’m not sure,” Jonathan mumbles, “There’s been so much shit that’s happened over the years.” He pauses, “There was a time… last year when Nance and I were at the hospital, running from our flayed bosses.”
“That was the year with the mall, right?” Argyle asks, and Jonathan nods.
“Well, when we fought them, one of them grabbed me and threw me against a set of lockers. Then… he took a metal stool and kept hitting me as I tried to get up. I blacked out for a minute, and… I’ve never been right since.”
“Oh, mi amor, did… you ever see anyone about it?” Argyle asks in a whisper.
“No,” Jonathan says after a moment, “With everything, it never came up, and after a while, the pain got more tolerable. And my family had enough shit going on, and who knew how much money we’d have after that. I mean, we literally gained a sister. I’m not going to make everyone’s life more difficult because of a little back pain.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, El lost her dad, mom lost her boyfriend, and Will had to leave all his friends behind. They don’t need me making more problems.” Jonathan shrugs, biting his lip. He wishes he wasn’t so honest, but it’s not like he can lie to Argyle right now. He feels everything that Jonathan does every day.
“Jonathan, listen to me,” Argyle says more seriously than he’s ever heard him speak, “You are not a problem. It doesn’t matter what you’ve been through compared to others, man. You’re still hurting. It’s not a competition. You gotta help yourself sometimes.”
Jonathan is holding back tears. He knows he has people who care for him in theory, but it’s something else to hear it put so bluntly.
“Babe, can you promise me something?”
“What?” Jonathan croaks.
“You’ll go to the doctor once we figure this out?” Jonathan swallows.
“Can you come with me…?” Jonathan asks softly, unable to look at the other. He can almost feel Argyle’s joy.
“Of course, babe.”
“Thank you…”
They lapse into silence and start to migrate under the covers, close to each other but with a respectable distance between them. Neither feels the need to push boundaries tonight. But something is tugging at Jonathan, a deep urge he can’t explain.
He wants to pull Argyle close to him, pull him into his chest, which is strange to think about one’s own body. He holds back, not wanting to give in and make the other uncomfortable. But he can only hold back for so long.
“Argyle?”
“Yeah?”
“I feel… weird right now,” Jonathan says, gripping the bed sheets.
“How so?” Argyle asks, tilting his head.
“I wanna… just grab and squeeze you, and I don’t know why.” It’s Argyle’s turn to blush, glancing away.
“Oh,” Argyle mumbles, “Well… I can explain that. I feel it all the time.” At Jonathan’s silence, he continues, “You’re so small and cute. I just want to wrap around you and smother you with affection every time we’re in bed together.” Jonathan nearly chokes on his own tongue. He has no idea what to say to that.
“But… why am I feeling that?” Jonathan asks. “Is it… because it’s your body?”
“Maybe. I mean, we didn’t swap brains or anything, man.” Jonathan’s eyes light up in understanding.
“Yeah, and our bodies still have muscle memory and subconscious thoughts. That’s why you have an accent in Spanish.” Argyle nods thoughtfully.
“And it’s why I wanna cuddle you so bad,” Argyle adds casually as if he didn’t just reveal Jonathan’s deepest desire. “Which is awfully convenient, don’tcha think?”
Argyle scoots closer, and Jonathan numbly opens his arms, letting the other cuddle up into his chest. Jonathan drapes his arm over him, melting into the touch. A sense of rightness settles in Jonathan and Argyle at the contact.
Jonathan knows that he’s in for a lecture once everything is over. Argyle always preaches about Jonathan asking for what he wants for once in his life, and this is no different. But it’s more than worth it if they can do this all the time.
“We need to go on a date after this,” Argyle mumbles against him, and Jonathan flinches, dragged back to reality. “I think we’ve earned it, dude.”
“Yeah, we have,” Jonathan agrees, but his mind drifts back to what he was thinking in the shower. Is Argyle going to want to do that after?
“You okay?” Argyle asks, “You got all tense there, bro.”
“Sorry. Just thinking,” Jonathan mumbles, trying to relax again.
“About what?” Argyle prods, poking gently at his side. Jonathan sighs. He’s quiet for a long moment before finally taking another deep breath.
“Do you… Do you want to have sex?” Jonathan asks in barely a whisper. He takes comfort in his deeper voice. What’s nice about being in another body is the ability to dissociate from what’s happening. It definitely makes talking easier.
“Like… right now?” Argyle places his hand on the small space of bed between them. He drags it along the sheets, dangerously close to the other’s groin. Jonathan is reacting before he can realize that Argyle is pushing himself up, leaning his weight on that hand.
“No! No!” Jonathan frantically says, pushing away from the other. Panic lights up his being, and he loses all rational thought. He once again underestimates his, or Argyle’s, strength, and he accidentally sends his own body skidding off the bed. Argyle lands with a thud, barely missing the nightstand with his head. The more petite boy lets out a small cry of pain, and Jonathan panics, launching himself off the bed.
“Oh, I’m so sorry, Argyle!” Jonathan rambles, reaching for him. Argyle is rubbing his hip, allowing Jonathan to help him back into bed, holding back small whimpers of pain. “I’m so sorry; I didn’t mean it.”
“What was that?!” Argyle asks frantically, “Are… Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I-I just panicked. I’m sorry I pushed you.”
“What happened? Why did you push me, bro?” Argyle asks softly. His face is open, and his voice is not accusing. He’s more concerned than anything else.
“I…I thought… I thought you were going to touch….” Jonathan mumbles, voice trailing off.
“Touch your dick?” Argyle finishes bluntly, and Jonathan nods, “No, bro. I was trying to move my arm so I could move back and look you in the face. That’s the kinda thing you should talk about first, and now wouldn’t be the time either way.”
“Oh,” Jonathan whispers, hot embarrassment leaking into his core, “I didn’t realize we were going to talk about sex.” Argyle tilts his head in confusion.
“Is that not why you asked?”
“Well, yeah, but I mean… I didn’t realize you were already planning on it.” Argyle blinks up at Jonathan, face turning a little sour.
“Yeah? That’s kinda a thing in relationships.” Jonathan stares at him blankly, “Or it should be. And considering the new bruise I just got, I figure that talk’ll be even more important.”
“Sorry,” Jonathan mumbles once more.
“Hey, it’s your body,” Argyle retorts, and Jonathan grins a little.
“Yeah, I know,” Jonathan grumbles, rolling his eyes dramatically. There’s a slight pause.
“You, uh, wanna talk about it?” Argyle prods gently. “About why you feel… so strongly about me touching you?”
“I just…” Jonathan starts, trying to find the words, “I hate it. I hate it so much. The feeling of being touched like that is… wrong. ”
“Oh, okay,” Argyle nods along. “Do you like touching yourself?”
“No,” Jonathan responds instantly, “Not at all. God, I nearly had a panic attack the first time I got hard.” Argyle nods again.
“You don’t have to answer this, bro, but… did something happen that caused you to think this way?” Argyle asks softly.
“Not anything that you’re thinking,” Jonathan says with a shrug, “I have always been like this. I mean, I wouldn’t be surprised if I have some fucking trauma or something, but I couldn’t tell you what it is.”
“Okay,” Argyle says softly, hesitating for just a moment before opening his mouth again. “Dude, why, um, why did you think we weren’t going to talk about sex? Especially if you feel so strongly about it.” Argyle’s voice is gentle but with the sharp edges of worry buried in.
“I was…” Jonathan starts, swallowing his shame, “I thought that if I just… let you do what you wanted, then it would be easier. Maybe I’d learn to like it, and you wouldn’t have to deal with me.” He shrugs, and he can’t quite meet the other’s eyes.
“Wait, so… if I came onto you, even though you feel this way, you’d just let me?” Argyle whispers, disbelieving.
“Yes,” Jonathan mumbles, “To keep you happy and with me.”
“Oh, god, babe,” Argyle chokes out, horror thick in his voice, “That’s just… not right at all, man. You’re not something to use for pleasure who has to take every sexual advance given. Everything about us is a two-way street, man. If we’re not both happy, then neither of us is, right?” Argyle is almost desperate as he asks and is so glad he never tried to push Jonathan. Bile threatens to rise in his throat at the mere thought of taking advantage of the other like that, even if he didn’t know.
“Y-Yeah,” Jonathan chokes out. “But you shouldn’t have to pay for it. I’m the fucked up guy who doesn’t like sex. What are you supposed to do, just… go without sex?”
“YES!” Argyle blurts after taking a hot second to really internalize what his boyfriend just said. “That’s exactly what would happen! I’d just get a fuckin’ fleshlight or something, man.”
“But that doesn’t make sense,” Jonathan almost argues, “Guys are supposed to have sex. Supposed to like it. I-I need to offer you that.”
“Who, in god’s name, told you that?!” Argyle asks. He’s torn between wanting to find whoever put these thoughts in his lover’s head or just staying there, holding the other.
“Everyone,” Jonathan mumbles after a moment, and he means it. The only times he hears people talk about sex is when they’re bragging. As a teenager, a virgin is one of the worst things one can be, and the mere thought of abstaining from sex seemed to horrify most. Even when talking to someone like his mom, sex was always inevitable, not a choice. When you bring someone over for the night. When you choose to have sex, etc.
Jonathan distinctly remembers when his mom realized that he and Argyle were starting to be more than friends. He ended up with a box of condoms on his nightstand and a conversation about being safe. He knew she meant well, so he mumbled thanks before throwing the box away.
“Well… I believe that,” Argyle eventually grumbles, not happy but fully aware of what society often expects. “But that doesn’t make it right, mi amor. Sex… sex is just another possible part of a relationship, one that may or may not even happen. It’s not something you owe me or that I have some right to. Just because we’re together doesn’t give me blanket consent on anything, dude.” Argyle sighs, heart heavy, that he needs to explain this. Of course, he doesn’t blame Jonathan for what he’s been taught, but this should be a redundant conversation.
“You’re body is your own, man. And only you should decide what happens to it,” Argyle says firmly before faltering slightly, “Except maybe in this very specific circumstance.” He motions to himself, and Jonathan huffs out a laugh.
“Yeah, okay,” Jonathan mumbles, a large portion of the anxiety in his chest untangles itself as he thinks over Argyle’s words. He almost feels bad for even considering that Argyle would make him do anything, but hearing it’s still a balm to him.
“But I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to do it with you,” Jonathan whispers, still keenly aware of his persistent failings.
“Who said ya had to?” Argyle counters, “While some might not be chill with that, I am. I don’t need anything more than what I already got. I don’t need sex to be madly in love with you or want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“You… You love me?” Jonathan whispers, eyes wide.
“Mmhm. No sex required.”
“I love you too,” Jonathan whispers, blinking away tears. Argyle smiles softly at him.
“Jonathan?”
“Yeah?”
“I know you may not believe me right now, but, y’know, man, there ain’t nothing wrong with you,” Argyle says. “There’s nothing wrong with not wanting sex at all.” Jonathan flinches against him, and they both know he has the urge to argue, but Argyle speaks first.
“There’s nothing wrong with two guys being attracted to each other, right man?”
“Y-Yeah, of course,” Jonathan mumbles, blinking at the sudden question.
“Or two women or anything else?”
“Uh-huh…”
“So it is really so crazy to be attracted to none of the above?” Argyle asks. “I mean, it’s the same concept for, like, soda or something, right? People like what flavor they want, but some just don’t like it.” Argyle shrugs as Jonathan goes stiff.
“I’ve… never thought of it like that,” Jonathan admits. When Argyle puts it like that, it almost makes sense and nearly seems normal. He can’t quite believe it yet, but neither expects him to.
“That’s what I’m here for,” Argyle says, lounging back on the bed and stifling a yawn. “How ya feeling?”
“I have a lot to think about,” Jonathan admits honestly, “But better.”
“Good.”
“I’m sorry it took us swapping bodies for us to talk,” Jonathan mumbles.
“It’s cool, man. We’re getting there,” Argyle says casually, and Jonathan weirdly believes him. “Is there anything else you wanna talk about? Anything at all?”
“Not tonight,” Jonathan sighs, relaxing against the mattress, “I’m already worn out from everything, and I wanna sleep. Could we… cuddle, please?” Jonathan asks shyly.
“Of course, man.” Argyle scoots closer, their bodies falling together like magnets. It doesn’t take long for them to fall asleep, sleeping better than both have in ages.
~~~
The pair hold hands the entire time as they walk back to where the bed of flowers is. They’re still swapped, but neither minds. The rest of the group tails them, idly chatting with them.
They come upon the flower bed, and they quickly realize the problem. Amongst the dead flowers, new sprouts are already starting to reemerge amongst the rubble, glowing dimly. The group hangs back as Jonathan and Argyle tramp around, covering the patch in lighter fluid, blue pollen hovering around them.
When exhaustion tugs at them, they simply sit, watching the fire burn. Only moments later, Jonathan and Argyle are passed out on top of each other once again.
They wake up in Steve’s house once again, and for maybe the first time ever, Jonathan welcomes the dull ache in his hips. He gives himself a once over, seeing his pale, scarred, calloused hands. Argyle snoozes away next to him, black hair spread out around his head like a puddle. Jonathan grins, rolling over and snuggling into the larger man. Argyle automatically grabs him as well, and if they don’t happen to get for several more hours, that’s neither here nor there.