Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Varian crossed his arms, glowering as the others made the final preparations to get on the road. 

Two weeks. They'd been stuck in this stupid town for two freaking weeks! Like Varian could understand a day or two in Varderos, but seriously?! What kind of knuckleheads were they if they got so invested in a deadbeat town that they wasted two weeks planning an entire festival? If they were gonna do this at every town they passed through, they were gonna be on the road forever! 

Not to mention, where was all this concern when Old Corona was being destroyed?! Old Corona was in Rapunzel's own kingdom, and she just left it to die! Varian squeezed his eyes shut as the image of the terrified villagers crying out for his father, of the hopelessness in their eyes when he told them about the lab accident, of them fleeing Old Corona as fast as they could possibly run, passed through his vision. These people were her people, and she abandoned them! Then they happen to pass through a village full of people who didn't like them, where a crime boss tried to force marriage onto them, and suddenly it was such a big deal that they had to throw a whole festival for them? Seriously?!

The only positive was that it at least helped distract him from having been forced to leave Corona against his will. When they traveled, it weighed heavily on him, how every minute they spent traveling pulled him further and further away from home. Varian felt stupid for missing it, his village was destroyed, the King was a jerk, his lab had a grave in the middle of it, so there wasn't much to miss, but it was still home. It would have been a little different if he had left on his own free will, but the fact that he didn't have a choice in the matter made him miss it more.

Varian adjusted his new vest. (I mean, it didn't really look new, but it was new to him) His clothes were ruined during the festival courtesy of the sneeze weasel, and despite his protests that he could just patch the holes and mend the rips, Eugene and Lance had insisted on getting him new clothes. The unfamiliarity of his new outfit was bothering him, the seams in the wrong places and the collar of his shirt scratching at his neck. Seriously, what pieces of him were they going to steal away next?! His hair? His goggles? His ability to practice alchemy? His best friend (again)? Varian barely had anything left to lose! 

In fact, the only bright side was that he'd managed to steal find some more books during the outing.

He'd bought a shirt that looked as close to his original as he could find, just in a darker blue instead, only for Eugene to give him grief about having no originality. 

No originality? The nerve! 

In protest, Varian intentionally bought the darkest, most villainous clothes he could find. He donned a new pair of dark brown pants, gray boots, a dark gray vest, and, just to spite them, an oversized black trench coat. Cassandra had huffed at his outfit, complaining about Lance being a bad influence and poking fun at Eugene for his poor fashion sense, but she hadn't said much else. She had, however, vehemently vetoed him drawing on a beard to complete the look.

He'd refused to get rid of his apron and goggles despite Eugene’s complaints that it didn't match. He was too numb and broken to care. If there was no other way he could fight back against what was happening to him, then he would cling to the scraps of himself Corona hadn't taken. Who cared if it didn't match? If it looked tacky? It was the biggest thing he had the strength to fight for.

In the three weeks he'd been stuck with this herd of clowns, he'd gotten to know them far better than he ever wanted to. Rapunzel just couldn't stop giving over-the-top speeches about hope and friendship, seriously, Varian was growing really sick of hearing about it. It was nothing short of condescending and cheesy! Was it even possible for her to get over her irritatingly bright and sunny outlook on everything she touched? Probably not, considering that she couldn't even say, "The pits." She even called cherry pits "Fruit rocks!" 

Eugene's obnoxious obsession with his appearance was annoying, to say the least. Of all the things Varian had imagined the former thief to be when he was obsessed with him as a child, vain was not one of them. Eugene spent over an hour every morning rubbing all kinds of goopy gunk on his face saying it would help his skin, and admired his reflection everywhere they went. How Rapunzel didn’t get completely grossed out by his obsession with himself was beyond Varian’s comprehension. But then again, we are talking about someone who could just leave an entire village to die and throw him into a deadly blizzard the moment he needed her most, so maybe he suited the perky princess just fine.

Cassandra had trust issues almost as bad as his, and her obsession with dark, creepy things was downright weird. She was way more serious and moody and bossy than he thought, and a lot of his interactions with her over the past two weeks were… well… testy . Something was… off about her, but he couldn't figure out what it was. Nor did he really care to know. 

Lance had the maturity of a child and an ego worse than Eugene’s, and he wouldn't shut up about the "tall, angelic enchantress with a sword" that showed up to their fight with the Baron's men. What was worse, Lance just couldn't keep his hands to himself! Every time Varian tried to run an experiment or mix an alchemical solution, Lance somehow got involved and messed it up. He'd caused three explosions so far, and every time, Lance got off scot-free and Varian was yelled at for practicing dangerous experiments. And when would he stop calling him Little Man? Varian got it, he'd always been very small for his age and as thin as a twig, but did he really have to rub it in his face? Oh, and would he cut the good-guard-bad-guard act already? Varian had already made it clear that he knew what the large bald oaf was up to, and he'd backed off a little bit, but he just couldn't take a hint!

Hookfoot… why was he even there? As far as Varian knew, he was just a guy from the Snuggly Duckling. How in the world did he even end up coming along? He was just… kind of… there.

Varian knew how stupid and gross Shorty was. The way he'd embarrassed him back at the science expo said that much. But oh, did that stupid little troll get on his nerves. What kind of world did he live in upstairs? Were there cobwebs where his brain should've been? If Varian didn't know any better, he'd say the spiders moved out a long time ago. 

Fidella wasn’t all that bad. She was low key and left him alone. Max, on the other hand, did not like him at all. It wasn’t like Varian cared, after all, Max was just another prison guard. But that horse watched him like a hawk. It was like Varian couldn’t even think without Max knowing. Sometimes Max was on the guard rotation when no one else was available, and when he was, if Varian so much as looked at him wrong, the end result would not be pleasant. Not to mention that Max and Ruddiger didn’t exactly get along, and whenever Max and Ruddiger would get into a fight over Max’s apples or something else stupid and trivial, it always seemed that Varian would get blamed.

Now Pascal, he… he was something else. He had to be the most annoying chameleon Varian had ever seen. He'd taken a particular interest in blending in with Varian’s things and scaring him or suddenly appearing on his shoulder with his tongue in his ear. Varian never knew the tiny reptile had such an attitude! In fact, Pascal's attitude was worse than Ruddiger on bath day!

On top of all of this, Eugene and Cassandra did not get along. I mean, they could work together if they absolutely had to, but otherwise it was non-stop yelling, bickering, belittling and other nonsense. It was honestly irritating. In fact, they even argued about the best way to argue on more than one occasion, and it grated on his nerves like nothing else! 

"Alright, Kid, we're ready to go," Cassandra gruffly muttered, cutting into his thoughts. "Let's get moving."

Varian winced as she took him by his arm and led him into the caravan. Her grip was really tight. But Varian chose to ignore that as she released him and he went to the window, watching Varderos grow smaller and smaller. Good riddance to that place! It meant leaving that Anthony the Weasel guy behind. That guy was a real piece of work! And that guy had it out for him now after what happened at the wedding, not to mention with Quaid, so Varian had no wish to stick around. 

But it meant that they were getting even further from Corona, reminding him of just how much he felt like a bird in a cage. 

As if sensing he was being taken to a dark place, Ruddiger climbed up his back and pawed at his ratty hair. Grimacing at the painful pull on his scalp but welcoming the distraction, Varian absent-mindedly stroked his tail and turned away, frowning when he saw a lumpy mound under his blanket. Shooting his companion a terse side-eye, Varian walked over and pulled back his blanket, revealing a pile of bright red apples. 

"Ruddiger," Varian shortly bit out under his breath. "Where did these come from?" The sheepish smile that responded told him everything he needed to know. 

Varian facepalmed. 

"Ruddiger, you can't keep hoarding Max's apple stash and hiding them in my things!" Varian moaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "If I get in trouble because of you one more time, I swear, I'm gonna-"

"Varian!" Cassandra demanded from the doorway. "Where are the apples?"

Throwing his hands in the air, Varian stepped aside and showed her the apple stash. Cassandra raised her eyebrows.

"Do you think what you're doing is funny?" Cassandra hissed. Varian gave Ruddiger another side-eye, but he didn't answer her. It wasn't worth arguing. 

"Well let's see how funny you think this is when you spend the next two weeks cleaning the outhouse and washing all of the laundry on top of your other chores!" Cassandra snapped, picking up the apples and carrying them away. Varian groaned once she was gone, glaring hard at Ruddiger. Varian already had more work to do than anyone else, and never even got one thank you. On top of that, Shorty always left a mess in the outhouse and it was a pain to clean up. 

"Thanks a lot, Buddy," Varian grumbled. Ruddiger shrugged, giving him the most innocent, what-do-you-want-from-me expression a raccoon could muster. Varian rolled his eyes. The worst part was that Ruddiger was impossible to stay mad at even when his rivalry with Max caused Varian problems. Why, that was why Ruddiger was even around in the first place. 

As Varian sat on his bed, his mind was carried to that day. It felt like forever ago. 

Varian was quickly walking out of Old Corona, his face flaming red. After he'd tried to help his father clean up the mess he'd made with the water heaters only to be publicly reamed out for making such a destructive mistake, all he wanted was for the ground to swallow him whole. But of course, the earth’s crust didn’t exactly work like that, so the next best thing was to go somewhere he could hide from his father’s wrath. Everyone was staring at him with familiar judgemental glares as he rushed past. It was the glare he’d always gotten every time he went out, the glare that said, There goes that weird kid with the strange obsession with that newfangled science stuff. He's dangerous, we should stay away from him. He doesn't belong here. 

He tried his best to ignore the whispers as he passed through the outskirts of town. He'd learned not to let what the townsfolk thought of him get to him, he'd learned to ignore the rumors, to let alone the voices whispering dangerous under their breath. But there was one whispered conversation between an elderly couple he couldn't ignore. 

"If he were my boy, I'd punish that newfangled, demonic, magical nonsense right out of him!" 

"You're telling me! Should be working in the fields where he belongs." 

"Mm-hm. If you ask me, it's a wonder Quirin lets him get all these ideas in his head. I'd be embarrassed to call him my son if I were his old man!" 

Varian hugged himself as he hurried over the bridge and out of town. For starters, it wasn't newfangled, there was some guy named Demanitis who practiced science thousands of years ago! Sure, it wasn't alchemy, and sure, he also worked with magic, but people still told legends about him to that day! And it wasn't demonic, Varian actively avoided demons and other creepy stuff like that, and it wasn't magic, it was science! And it wasn't nonsense; on the contrary, it was a lot more legitimate than any of their mystical magic mumbo-jumbo would ever be! 

He took a look over his shoulder at the destruction at his back. The destruction he left. His heart sank even further and he quickly tore his eyes away, hiccupping as his face flushed an even brighter red and tears pressed at the back of his eyes. He tried so hard, he really did! He really wanted to help the people of Old Corona, so why was it that every time he tried, he made such a mess? 

Why was it that every time he tried to make his Dad proud or impress him, he always ended up disappointing him? 

At the time, it was all he'd ever wanted. To master his craft, and for his father to be proud of him. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't obtain either. 

His thoughts were interrupted when he came across a certain trap he'd put up for the critter problem holding a familiar raccoon hostage on its back. It was that stupid raccoon that was always getting in his lab, the raccoon who often scared him by dropping from the rafters and onto his shoulder or randomly climbing up on his desk to inspect his work. It was a strange raccoon indeed, usually raccoons just wanted food, so why this particular raccoon was so drawn to a room full of chemicals and machines was beyond him.

Kneeling down, Varian sprinkled his neutralizing compound on the goop the raccoon was trapped in and freed it. 

"Come on, little buddy," Varian murmured. "Let's get you somewhere you won't keep bothering everyone, huh?" There. It was a good excuse not to show his face in Old Corona until it was dark. It was a perfect way to avoid Dad. 

He traveled further into the forest with the raccoon in tow. His new goo traps had made his dad skeptical at first, but when his dad saw them in action, he was actually mildly interested, which was huge! He'd let Varian set up a few traps around Old Corona with the promise he'd check on them twice a day, and that had been so exciting! He actually managed to impress him! 

The thing was, the trap in his lab had only caught critters, the pesky raccoon in his arms, and the occasional towns kid looking to play a prank on him or beat him up. 

But he never dreamed he'd trap actual royalty in his lab. 

The princess and her lady in waiting had actually shown up, in his lab, for his help! Sure, he'd pretended not to hear that comment Rapunzel had made on her way in, but still! The princess had turned out to be so kind and sweet, and enthusiastically went along with his tests that most people would've run from, and that Cassandra girl, she... she was kinda hot. And as if the situation couldn't get any better, Flynn Rider himself had shown up too! His childhood hero had walked through his doors. He wasn't the guy from the books, which was a little disappointing, and his name was actually Eugene Fitzherbert, which was a little bit more disappointing, but what an honor to actually meet Flynn Rider! 

Varian couldn't help but cringe as he remembered that. Rapunzel had turned out to be a horrible person, Cassandra was a bossy nag, and Eugene turned out to be a spineless self-indulgent sap who blindly went along with it! Remembering how cool he'd thought that was only hurt now, but, after all, he was a different person back then. He was still that innocent, nerdy kid. 

Varian shrugged when he made it far enough away from Old Corona that hopefully the raccoon in his arms wouldn't come back and set it on the ground. 

"Alright, little guy," Varian told the raccoon. "Go home to your family." 

Varian turned around and started heading back to Old Corona, frowning when the raccoon chittered. He paused and looked over his shoulder to find it following him. 

"No, no, no, get out of here," Varian ordered. "Shoo!" 

Varian kept going, but the raccoon just kept following him. No matter how hard Varian tried to get rid of it, it just kept following him. 

As Varian neared his village in the glow of the sunset, he frowned at the raccoon. It expectantly gazed up at him from the ground with large, round, pleading eyes. Varian sighed, then knelt down and held out a gentle hand for the raccoon to sniff. 

"Guess there's no getting rid of you," he quietly murmured. The raccoon sniffed his hand, then nudged it with its snout. Varian hesitantly scratched behind its ears, smiling and letting out a small laugh when it leaned into his touch, closing its eyes in content and purring like a cat. 

"So you like getting scratched behind your ears, huh?" He chuckled under his breath. "You really are a strange raccoon, you know that?" 

He smiled as the raccoon continued to let him pet it. Maybe a little friend wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. It wasn't like he had any friends, every time he thought he'd made a friend, it was always a trick to lure him into a trap of bullies. And maybe he could consider the princess, or Cassandra, or Flynn Rider his friend, but considering he'd caused a huge accident the day he met them, that might've been a stretch. 

"Alright, fine, you can stay with me, little buddy," Varian whispered to the raccoon. The raccoon smiled, cooing as it nuzzled his knee. Varian gave a small yelp of surprise when the raccoon suddenly climbed up his back and settled on his shoulders, still purring like a cat. 

"...and... you... like sitting on shoulders," Varian awkwardly muttered. "O...kay then. You really are a strange raccoon." Varian shrugged, grinning as he stood up and headed home just as the sun dipped below the horizon and the air began to darken. His new furry companion chittered happily when Varian scratched behind his ears again. "I think I'm gonna name you Ruddiger." 

When the gang stopped the caravan for the night, Varian sat awake, as usual. The night hours stretched on, but he couldn’t sleep. He knew better. The world in his dreams was ten times as nightmarish as the world around him, and ever since he’d left Corona, his nightmares had been particularly bad. At this point, Varian was used to having nightmares, he’d been having them almost every night since the day his father… since the day this all began, but that didn’t make any of it okay. All he could really do was stay awake as long as he could to avoid them until he couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore, and then they wouldn’t last as long. Sometimes he even managed to stay awake all night long, and then he wouldn't get any nightmares at all. Of course, this would lead to a headache for the next day, but a headache and sleep deprivation was a lot better than the nightmares. Anything was better than the nightmares. 

Unfortunately for Varian, that night he just couldn't stay awake. Just as Eugene and Cassandra changed shifts, Varian was forced to give in to his exhaustion, collapsing to his bed and passing out.

It was dark. And it was snowing. And he was running, running, running through the endless night. He had no idea where he was going, all he knew was that Dad was in trouble! Dad needed help! So he kept on running through the swirling snow. His hair blew through his vision, and the cold slapped at his cheeks, and the snow soaked through his boots and socks and numbed his feet, but there was no end in sight.

Eventually his eyes caught onto a dim golden glow up ahead, and he desperately hurried towards it. 

"Help!" He shouted. "My dad needs help!" But it seemed that no matter how loud he tried to yell, his voice was swallowed up by the howling of the frozen wind. 

“Princess! Help me!” Varian cried out as she came into view, her hair glowing softly. 

“And why would I do that?”

Varian skidded to a stop at those cruel, callous words, panting as she turned around and leveled him with a wide, sinister smirk that shriveled his insides and made him feel so, so small.

“You really think I care about you or your father?!” Rapunzel sniggered, her blonde braid whipping back and forth in the gale of the blizzard. “How pathetically naïve are you, worthless coward?”

Varian practically choked on those words as they stabbed through him, scrambling for a comeback, but all he could do was weakly stammer, “But… but-but y-you said-”

“And you were stupid enough to fall for that?” Rapunzel taunted. “You seriously thought I was your friend, didn’t you? How embarrassing!” She took a few steps closer, her cold smile growing almost wolfish. “And just what makes you think I’d want to help a dangerous little freak like you?”

Varian tried so hard to refute the insults, tried to think of some way, any way, to stop her from ripping him apart like this, but he just had no words to defend himself. All he could do was stammer like some pathetic fool.

“Varian, Varian, Varian,” Rapunzel sighed in mock-disappointment, her hair breaking free of its ties and rising up around her, shining in all of its glory, so bright it was practically blinding him. He quickly lifted his arms to shield his eyes, but even that couldn’t protect him from her raw, all-encompassing power. 

“When will you learn, Varian?” Rapunzel chuckled. “I will always get the better of you.”

At that moment, Varian noticed that her hands were splayed out on either side of her, reaching towards glowing rock points that rose to meet her grasp. He feebly gasped. He knew what came next.

Just before Rapunzel could wrap her hands around those rocks, Varian turned on heel and sprinted as fast as his feet could run, desperate to outrun those cursed rocks and their deadly magic. The ground rumbled beneath his boots and through his entire being as the horrid blast of blue energy washed over him, but before he could even think of looking back, the rocks were lapping at his heels, bound and determined to skewer him on their razor-sharp points. So he kept running, faster and faster, for that was all he could do. He had no power against their lethal might. He was nothing against them. All he could do was keep running as the snow collected around him, rising up to his ankles.

A shadow flashed just within his peripheral vision. Then another. Then another. Varian didn’t even have to turn his head to know who they were. He just choked back a terrified sob and kept running even as his feet began to stumble and the snow began to slow him down. He was knee-deep in slush and the rocky points were starting to graze against his coat, but what was he to do other than to keep running?!

Something caught against his foot. He fell face-first through the snow and landed against something cold and hard. He shivered in the freezing air, and he realized with a start that his coat was now gone and his clothes had been reduced to familiar rags that couldn’t possibly protect him from the screaming blizzard around him. He moved to try to rub some warmth into his arms as the snow soaked through his threadbare shirt, but as he did, he realized that he was now surrounded by bars. He was trapped in a small cage, unable to escape the snow that blew into his prison and slowly buried him.

“Varian!” His father’s voice yelled. His head snapped up to meet his father’s eyes, but he regretted it just as soon as he did. Dad glared at him from behind the amber walls of his grave with so much disgusted hate for him that Varian would’ve preferred one of those disappointed frowns. Varian scrambled away from him, pressing his back against the bars of his cage, but even then he couldn’t escape his father’s wrath.

“You failed me, Varian!” His father snarled.

“I know,” Varian softly whispered, pulling his knees to his chest and burying his head in his arms.

“You had her right in your grasp!” Dad shouted, and Varian shrank into himself with a tiny whimper as shame burned through his core. “You had a perfect plan, you were five steps ahead of her, you had her playing straight into your hands! You could’ve saved me if you had just stayed focused!”

Varian choked on a sob at those words, tears squeezing out from behind his tightly-shut eyelids and freezing against his cheeks.

“I know,” was all he could say.

“You promised me you’d free me!” Dad roared. His breath hitched as he remembered how he tearfully promised to get to the bottom of this. “Look at you now!” Dad hissed. “You’re a disgrace!”

A shudder ran down his spine, and this time, he couldn’t bring himself to agree. He couldn’t even bring himself to look at his father. Because he was right. Varian was nothing but a failure, a disgrace to his father.

Then, suddenly, the ground began to quake once more, and just as he lifted his head to see what the commotion was, a red-eyed automaton erupted from the dirt, towering above him. A pair of dark, hating eyes stared at him from behind the crimson glass, a pair of eyes which were his own. His own face twisted in a wide, ferocious grimace as the giant, hulking machine raised a massive fist.

"It's not enough until you endure the same amount of pain and agony I have!"

Varian's hand instinctively clamped over his mouth as he shot awake and sat up, his cry of fear cutting short as he quickly reminded himself to be quiet, dang it! They'll hear you! Stop being such a weak pathetic wuss, you want to die, you stupid boy?!

Sweat beaded at his forehead and dripped down the side of his temple as his gaze darted about, recognizing the walls of the caravan as he grounded himself to the new nightmare his life had become. He lowered his hands to his blanket and clenched it in his fists as he took deep, shaking breaths to calm his racing heart. A wet nose nudged his chin, and he forced one quivering hand to release his blanket and scratch behind Ruddiger's ears. A shiver ran down his spine as that vivid image that woke him flashed before his eyes again, and he pressed his lips into a thin, tight frown before he could start visibly trembling. 

Being terrified of nightmares was for children. He didn't have such a luxury. 

Why couldn't he just grow up?

...&&&...&&&...&&&...&&&...&&&...

Hey guys! So I know this isn’t exactly an ideal place for this considering we just ended on such a somber note, but I drew up a picture of what I imagined his new outfit to look like just for some context. I’m an author, not an artist, so if you’re viewing this from a computer, please don’t judge my terrible linework on the boots, but anyway, this is the outfit I’d envisioned.

Chapter Text

The events that led to this moment were quite the irony. 

Cassandra had been sharpening her sword when the group was ambushed by these wolves that just would not leave them alone no matter how fast they ran! Turns out that during Eugene’s days as a swashbuckling thief he dealt with these slayer wolves on the regular, and knew they had really sensitive hearing. His save earned him the title, "King of the Wild," by everyone but Cassandra and Varian. To Cassandra’s chagrin, this just blew up his over-inflated ego even further. 

So imagine the irony when Mr. King of the Wild took them straight to a giant swamp. 

"But on the bright side…" Eugene hesitated, worriedly scanning their surroundings. "I was hoping someone would finish that sentence for me, this place is terrible."

Cassandra rolled her eyes while Shorty collected swamp water in his canister and grossed the others out. It was obvious that they couldn't just stroll on through, which would just slow them down even more.

"So, 'King of the Wild,'" Cassandra snidely drawled. "Any suggestions on how to cross this thing?"

Eugene approached the swamp and used a stick to try to test the depths only for an octopus tentacle to nearly pull him in with it.

"Looks like it's too deep," Eugene announced, nervously chuckling. "So I think we're going to have to backtrack to get through this, it'll add a day to our journey, but it's the only way."

Cassandra rolled her eyes again. After all the time they wasted in Varderos thanks to the Goodwill festival Rapunzel insisted on throwing, she dreaded the thought of anything slowing them down. All she wanted-

"I had no idea people of Corona were such… quitters. " 

Cassandra’s head jerked towards the tree that'd come from, which let out a loud, booming crack before falling to the ground in halves. It took Cassandra a minute to realize that these halves had effectively provided a bridge across the swamp and into the forest beyond. 

"You know, I always say," a vaguely familiar voice began before its owner emerged from the shadows with a cocky grin. "If you can't go through something, go over it."

Cassandra jumped to the ground while Lance began swooning. What did Adira want now?

"I told you I'd be around if trouble came your way," Adira drawled, jumping down and lazily resting her sword on her shoulders. "And, well, here I am, your new guide."

New guide? From a lady who lurks in the shadows? No thank you. 

While Hookfoot grumbled something about the slayer wolves, Cassandra cleared her throat and pulled Rapunzel aside. 

"Rapunzel, we talked about this," Cassandra muttered under her breath. "I don't trust this woman. She keeps popping up out of nowhere, and I don't like it!"

"Yes!" Eugene agreed as he joined in the conversation. "Yes, yes, I second that, plus, we don't need her. Another person will just slow us down, particularly with all the-"

"Oh, I don't know, you're gonna need her," Adira interrupted with a sly smile as she also joined in. "She's the only one who can get you through the deadly Forest of No Return."

Just then, an unsettling roar echoed through the trees.

"Few have made it to the other side of the forest alive,” Adira bragged, “And I’m one of them. The first time I crossed, I had nothing but a dagger and a handful of nuts. And I had bronchitis.”

Lance gasped in awe, marveling about how “amazing” she was, to which she responded in a whisper, “I know.” Hookfoot looked on in worry and Varian rolled his eyes, raising an oddly unamused eyebrow that was matched by Ruddiger. Frankly, Cassandra wasn’t impressed by all her boasting either, and it seemed that neither was Eugene, because he let out a sigh of annoyance.

“So, lookie here, Adira,” Eugene condescendingly muttered as he walked up to her. “I appreciate the bridge assist, but I’m pretty sure I can lead us through a forest-”

“Forest of No-”

“Yes, I’m familiar with its name,” Eugene quickly cut off her dramatic interruption. “Thank y-”

Another roar belonging to an animal Cassandra most certainly didn’t need to know about boomed from the forest.

“Wait!” Rapunzel interjected with a hand on Eugene’s arm. “Eugene, listen. I know you grew up in the wilderness, and I have complete faith in you, I really do, but can it hurt anything to have another expert along?”

“Oh, goody, another expert,” Cassandra sighed, because one big-headed King of the Wild was enough for her, thank you very much! Alas, it appeared that Eugene was not immune to Rapunzel’s charm, because one big, puppy-eyed look later, Eugene was begrudgingly agreeing to let Adira come with them and stomping back towards the caravan.

“Excellent!” Adira triumphantly beamed at Rapunzel. “You’ve made the only decision there is: the right one.”

Cassandra frowned slightly at Adira, still not quite sold on trusting her, but climbed onto the driver’s seat with Eugene and Rapunzel as her best friend reassured her rival that this didn’t change anything and he was still their go-to guy. Well, Cassandra would beg to differ, but she left it alone. He didn’t get his famous reputation of Flynn Rider for nothing. Adira sat on the roof of the caravan and they set off into the Forest of No Return as Eugene complained about shoddy craftsmanship and I would’ve cut these logs SO MUCH SMOOTHER.

The forest rapidly darkened as they ventured further along the path, which did not ease Cassandra’s apprehension about the place. It didn’t help when they arrived at a giant, hollowed out husk of a tree surrounded by skeletons and bones. Carved in its wood were the words, “FoReST oF No RetuRN.”

“That is one scary tree,” Shorty commented. “Reminds me of my Uncle Mert! He too was a scary tree.”

“Relax, Shorty,” Eugene drawled. “There’s nothing to be afraid of, this swamp is just like any other swamp!”

As if to prove him wrong, a loud buzzing noise rose from some rustling bushes, and when Pascal went to eat the supposed bug, the largest horse fly Cassandra had ever seen burst into view. The chameleon would’ve been carried off if Adira hadn’t’ve shot it down.

“Alright,” Eugene sighed. “We all saw the creepy bug, nothing to write home about, huh? Let’s move on.”

It seemed that the forest was bound and determined to scare the travelers and make a fool out of their resident King of the Wild, because when Cassandra looked at the path ahead, the trees were moving! They spun in a strange circle before rearranging themselves right before their eyes!

“Woah, woah, woah, woah, wait,” Eugene stammered. “What’s going on?”

“The Forest of No Return is in perpetual motion and changes without warning,” Adira explained.

“That’s impossible,” Varian grumbled from one of the windows. “That would imply that the ground moves independently of the earth, and that practically defies the laws of gravity and physics.”

“Well, Varian,” Adira answered with a warm chuckle. “As I’ve already established, this is not a normal forest. Anyway, luckily for us, I procured this special map many years ago. It’s the key to traversing the woods… safely.” She lowered a strange pink contraption towards Eugene that resembled a paper fortune teller Cassandra had once played with as a child. 

“Uh, thanks,” Eugene dismissively responded, “But I happen to be a really good navigator, and I’ve got all the directions I need, right here.” He pointed at his head for emphasis as Adira took her map back.

“Suit yourself.”

“Very well, Adira. Your passive aggression is noted and respectfully disregarded.” And with that, they were off again.

It wasn’t long until Adira began storytelling at Lance’s urging, regaling them with tales of her previous trips through the dark, ominous woods.

“Although I was surrounded by stunning scenery,” Adira told them, standing on top of Max and Fidella’s backs and effectively blocking their view of the road ahead, “I knew not to mistake this beauty for what it truly was: pure evil. Uh huh, that’s right. The Drexis are the deadliest creatures within the Forest of No Return. Their wingspan stretches over twenty feet, and each of their fangs are the size of a chubby toddler!”

“Wow, that is some powerful imagery there, Adira,” Eugene grumbled, unamused. “Fictional, but powerful. And I was with you, but once you got to the spider-bats, you totally snapped my suspension of disbelief.”

“They’re called the Drexis, Eugene,” Varian corrected him in a low tone.

“Yeah, weren’t you listenin’?” Lance added.

“Who cares what they’re called?!” Eugene moaned. “Anyone? Show of hands?” Cassandra certainly didn’t care as long as she didn’t have to see these so-called Drexis, but Eugene looked up towards the roof before leveling the path before them with a thoroughly annoyed scowl. “Would you put your hand down, Lance?” he ground out through clenched teeth. “You too, Varian.” He sighed with a roll of his eyes. “My point is, we are almost out of this fore- Oh no, no, no, no, no.”

Cassandra’s hands clenched into fists in shock when she looked up to see the exact same creepy sign as earlier! Eugene had led them right back where they started!

“That cannot be the same sign!” Eugene protested.

“We just went in a big circle!” Rapunzel observed.

“No… wait, it’s not- we should be out of this forest!” Eugene argued.

“Of No-”

“I KNOW WHAT IT’S CALLED!!!”

“Return.”

Sighing, Cassandra hopped down and examined the tree, Rapunzel and Eugene on her heels, and just as she’d feared, it was the same sign as earlier.

“Okay, so, I haven’t, technically, gotten us anywhere,” Eugene stammered, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck, “And I know what you’re thinking, but it is not my fault!” He stubbornly crossed his arms to emphasize this, but Cassandra was having none of it.

“Not your fault?” Cass retorted. “You led us in a circle, ‘Really Good Navigator!’”

“In Eugene’s defense,” Rapunzel interrupted with a forced, optimistic smile, “It was a really good circle!”

Cassandra groaned, facepalming as Eugene shot her a smug grin.

“We’re never getting out of here,” she complained.

“We will if we use the map, Short Hair,” Adira nonchalantly informed her as she whittled on a piece of wood. Cassandra went to respond, but stiffened when she realized what Adira had said.

“What did you just call me?” Cassandra gawked at her, slightly flabbergasted.

“I find referring to people by a defining characteristic is more time-efficient than learning their names,” Adira explained as she examined her work. “Hence, Short Hair.” She used her piece of wood to gesture at Lance. 

“Earrings.” Lance grinned and rubbed his hand against his bald head as if he were smoothing back his hair.

“Soiled Gnome.”

“Sounds accurate,” Shorty drawled.

“And… Hookfoot.”

Hookfoot was quick to complain about the usage of his actual name, and while Cassandra was nonplussed about being called ‘Short Hair,’ there was one thing she needed to know.

“What’s Eugene’s?” she asked with a chuckle.

“Fish Skin.”

Cassandra quickly stifled a laugh behind the palm of her hand while Eugene spluttered. Fish Skin was a perfect name for the big-headed rogue. She’d have to borrow that sometime! Maybe Adira wasn’t so bad after all. She had to admit, the shadow warrior was growing on her a bit.

“Wait a minute, what?" Eugene protested as he marched past a giggling Cass and up to Adira. "Fish Skin? Fish? Skin?! Well I think the daily application of sixteen assorted lotions, creams and exfoliants, would beg to differ!”

“Eugene, hm,” Rapunzel interrupted again. “Maybe you should stop talking about your morning routine and just Take. Adira’s. Map.”

Eugene shot Adira another glare, then sighed.

“Fine,” he groaned. “I will take the precious map.”

"Wise choice, Fishskin," Adira answered as she held out the map. "You must follow its instructions to- Varian, watch out!"

Quick as a flash, Adira was off to their left, snatching Varian back just as he walked straight into a tree and fell back into a large mushroom. But it turned out that it wasn’t a mushroom at all when it suddenly opened a huge mouth filled with giant teeth. Varian would’ve been swallowed whole if Adira didn’t snatch him in the nick of time and pull him out of the way. As if the whole thing wasn’t weird enough, the mushroom started hopping around and barking like a dog before whining sadly and bouncing away into the trees.

“You alright, Varian?” Adira asked as she let him go and stepped back.

“I’m fine,” Varian growled, crossing his arms with what was becoming a familiar glare.

“Good,” Adira answered with a slight yet oddly warm, fond smile, lightly tousling his hair (much to his obvious frustration) and turning back to their group. “Watch out for the pupshrooms, they bite.” With that, she pulled out the map once more and handed it to Eugene. “As I was saying, you must follow its instructions To. The. Letter…”

It was at that moment that Cassandra realized the significance of what she’d just witnessed.

Adira had just called Varian by name.

After she’d just explained why she doesn’t bother to learn names.

They knew each other.

Now this was just all kinds of suspicious. How on earth did they know each other? None of them had ever seen her before, she’d just shown up out of the blue with all kinds of knowledge about them, as if she’d known them all their lives, and handed them a scroll piece…

…that perfectly lined up with Varian’s ripped corner!!

This could only mean one thing.

Adira had to have an ulterior motive of some kind. There was no other explanation. She had to have something planned. Why else might she be fond of him? The dangerous alchemist who threatened an entire kingdom, who kidnapped the queen for Sun sake! And she knew him BY NAME. 

What was she up to?!

Cassandra immediately tried to come up with any plans she might have. They had to involve Varian, that was clear, and if they involved Varian, then the entire group was in danger. Varian was already a force to be reckoned with when he was alone and without allies. Varian was dangerous and lethal when he wanted to be. 

Hello, Cassandra. 

Cassandra quickly forced that sly voice from her mind and ignored the way her heart lurched in her chest because NOW WASN'T THE TIME TO FREAK OUT!! They all knew first-hand just how close Varian had come to wiping them out. And Adira? She’d beaten both Rapunzel and herself without even trying! Defeated the Baron’s men like they were no better than schoolchildren! Together, they’d be unstoppable!

Her suspicions were compounded when their caravan disappeared, along with Max, Fidella, Ruddiger and Owl. Adira’s only explanation was that a landpit had transported the entire setup to another part of the forest, leaving them to travel on foot and entirely reliant on the warrior.

Cassandra wasn’t about to give anything away when they were so vulnerable, so she watched their untrustworthy guide like a hawk. Even as she bested Eugene’s survival skills over and over again, Cassandra paid no mind to those precious opportunities to roast her rival and watched her. Even when those vines ensnared everyone but Adira and Eugene (Why was it so difficult to just calm down and relax, by the way?!) she watched, ready to strike at any moment. She took note of every kind look Adira sent Varian’s way, every soft, teasing word and every tiny gesture of affection, which only strengthened her case. She carefully watched her hands as she cooked, watching for any slight movements that might indicate that she could be poisoning them, refusing to eat because someone had to be ready when she turned on them! Because one thing was very, very clear.

Adira was a threat, and there was no way they could trust her.

Chapter Text

Eugene grunted as he pulled himself up to the final branch of the tree he'd climbed, but as he looked towards the horizon, relief flooded him like a nice, warm bath as his labor was immediately paid off.

"Oh-ho, look what I can see from here!" Eugene cheered. "It's the edge of the forest! We made it!" Eugene grinned at the party below. "You know something," he crowed, "It's almost like we didn't need this map, or some random stranger." He whooped as he slid down the tree, gracefully landing it, of course, because he was just that awesome. “Okay, perfect landing, ten out of ten,” Eugene blithely bragged, because why shouldn’t he? Against all odds, even while Adira and the stupid forest made a fool out of him over and over and over again, he’d still done his job just like he said! “Now, I don’t wanna brag. Scratch that, I want to brag. Who led us out of here? Buckle in, because this is a lot of syllables, kids. Eugene Fitzherbert, esquire, navigator extraordinaire-”

And that was when they arrived at a giant basin of geysers, angrily steaming as they erupted, spewing thick, noxious gasses into the air.

“Oh boy.”

“Those are the Silver Geysers,” Adira explained to the group. “They’re lava-hot, and emit toxic gasses. The map is instructing us to run through them. It’s possible, if we time it right.”

The map wanted them to do what now?!

“Are you kidding me?!” Eugene snapped because the last thing he wanted was to run through a poisonous gas cloud and die getting steamed like a carrot in a pot of stew! “You want us to run through there?! A field of piping hot fire water?!? Yeah, we’re not doing that!”

Adira frowned worriedly as the woods shifted behind them.

“We could be swallowed by a landpit at any moment!” Adira protested. “You have a better idea, Fish Skin?”

Eugene thought for a moment before his gaze landed on Hookfoot.

Wasn’t it Adira who said that if you can’t go through something, go over it?

“I gotta be honest,” Hookfoot warily grumbled. “I don’t like the way you’re looking at me right now.”

Emboldened by his idea, Eugene grabbed Adira’s crossbow, tied a rope to one of its bolts and shot it across the clearing. When it embedded itself in a tree on the other side, he bound the other end to a nearby tree, effectively creating a makeshift zipline. He then shushed Hookfoot as he protested the use of his hook and hung it on the line. There. A way across.

"Alright, Muscles, hold onto this," Eugene instructed, gesturing for Lance to grab onto his hook. "Madame Ice Demon," he continued, "Grab onto him." He motioned for Cassandra to grab Hookfoot's free leg and ignored her complaints at the nickname. "Bearded Raisin, grab onto her, and- uh…" Eugene hesitated as he turned to Varian. What kind of name could possibly suit the hostile angsty teenage alchemist? 

"Um… Goggles," he settled on, "Climb onto his back."

"That rope isn't gonna hold our weight," Varian quietly grumbled as he climbed onto Lance's back. 

"Hush, Goggles, that's my problem, not yours," Eugene dismissed him. "Now Sunshine, hop aboard, darling!"

As Rapunzel climbed on board, Eugene flashed Adira a triumphant, cat-eating grin. 

"See, I can do nicknames too," Eugene smugly informed her. "And it's like you said. If you can't go through something, go over it. Right, Adira?"

Adira sighed, then frowned at him in worry.

"You're making a big mistake, Fish Skin," Adira gravely informed him as another geyser spewed its toxic gas. 

"Maybe we should, uh, listen to her, Eugene," Lance softly interrupted. Eugene raised an eyebrow at Lance's betrayal.

“Guys, she’s literally asking you to run through blazing hot explosions!” Eugene exclaimed. “Look, I may have underestimated these woods, and made a few mistakes along the way. But those mistakes were really the forest’s fault, not mine. So who’re you gonna trust? Me, your friend who’s gotten you this far, and has always had your back, or her?” Eugene glowered at her out of the corner of his eye, but as he scanned his friends, their expressions said it all. Cassandra was suspiciously watching Adira and Varian’s acidic glare at the ground betrayed nothing, but everyone else was giving him fearful frowns that told him exactly who they were siding with.

“Sorry, Eugene, but I think I’m gonna go with Adira on this one,” Hookfoot mumbled from the ground.

“Me too,” Rapunzel added with a long sigh. Eugene sadly gazed at his traitorous friends for a long moment before setting his jaw in determination.

“Nope! I know best!”

With that, he pushed off from the tree and launched them across the pit of geysers. Just as Varian predicted, the rope didn’t hold their weight, instead it sent them flying through the air, careening towards the other side before crashing in a heap. Cassandra yelped as Varian landed on her back, scrambling away as if he’d burned her, while Eugene tried to untangle himself from the mess of arms and legs and looked at the sight before them.

“Aw, no,” Lance moaned as they recognized the very tree from the entrance of the forest. “Oh, come on,” he growled, slamming his fist on the ground. “I can not believe this!”

“How are we back here?!” Rapunzel demanded.

“Hey, look!” Shorty cheered. “It’s-”

“Uncle Mert, we know!” 

“Who’s Uncle Mert?”

“It gets worse!” Hookfoot gasped, disregarding the little dwarf. “The path we came in on, it’s not there anymore!”

Eugene picked himself up with everyone else, trying to come up with a plan to save face, but he quickly realized that the entire gang was looking at him with matching accusatory glares.

“Way to go, Eugene!” Varian hissed as he brushed off his trenchcoat. “You’ve gotten us right back where we started, with no way out, no caravan and no Ruddiger!”

“We’re never gonna escape, and it’s all your fault,” Cassandra chimed in, growling and shoving him back with both hands on his shoulders. “You’re not the King of the Wild. You’re a disaster!” Eugene slumped at that, her furious words cutting deep.

“You should’ve just given the map back to Adira,” Lance griped at him as Rapunzel hooked an arm around Cassandra’s elbow to keep her from lashing out at him again. “You can’t read it!”

“Who could?!” Eugene defensively exclaimed as he pulled the map from his shirt pocket. “It’s a joke!” Eugene studied it, trying to understand it, but it was just a bunch of chaotic drawings! “This doesn’t make any sense!” Eugene continued as he paced away from them. “I saw the exit, you saw the exit, there was an exiiiiiiittt! Now what do we d-”

“Eugene, watch out!”

“Oofff!”

“Aaahhhhh!”

Eugene walked straight into Varian, tripping over him and falling, and the next thing he knew, both of them were falling through a landpit, spinning through space before coming up for air and grabbing onto the edge.

"Ugh, stupid landpits," Eugene grumbled as he and Varian climbed out. "Now-" Eugene’s eyes widened when he realized that everyone but Varian was gone. "Wait," he warily asked. "Where did everyone go?"

"Were you not listening to that Adira lady, Eugene?" Varian hissed with his arms crossed. "It's a landpit! We lost them. Way to go, now you’ve gotten us separated!"

Eugene sighed through his nose. And he was stuck with Varian the Grinch. Great.

"Okay, let's just start walking," Eugene shakily breathed as he ventured into the forest. "The sooner we find the others or a way out of here, the sooner we can-"

"You're going the wrong way."

Eugene opened his mouth to argue but paused when he found the boy glancing at the sky, then the ground. 

"I-it's the afternoon, so the sun is in the west," Varian explained. "This means that the-the shadows are pointing east, so we should follow them." Varian crouched down and plucked some grass before rising once more and letting it fall from his hand. "Plus," he added, "Any wild animals are headed downwind, which is southwest, so it's the safest option." He pointed in the direction that the shadows stretched. "We should go that way."

Mentally cursing himself out for not having considered such basic navigational information, Eugene raised an eyebrow. 

"How do you know that?" Eugene retorted as they headed east. Varian pressed his lips together, staring hard at the ground and saying nothing. "I mean, you don't seem like the outdoorsy, traveling-in-the-wild type of guy. You seem more like an isolate-myself-in-my-dark-and-creepy-lab-and-sulk type of guy, you know?" Varian balled his hands into fists and clenched his jaw until it practically turned white. 

"Come on, you're not gonna tell me?"

"Nope."

"Alright then."

Eugene frowned as they headed down the path while he studied the map. If this wasn't the most awkward silence he'd heard in his life, well then, he didn't know what awkward was. Desperate to diffuse the tension, Eugene changed the subject. 

"So, Goggles," Eugene started. "How do you know Adira?"

"What are you talking about?"

"She knew your name and no one else's," Eugene explained, "Plus she seems to like you."

"I've never seen her in my life," Varian grumbled. "I have no idea how she knows me."

"Could it be something to do with that tattoo on her hand?" Eugene suggested. "Is it just me, or did I see that tattoo on your dad's hand too?"

Varian bristled, his body going rigid. 

"I don't want to talk about my dad."

Eugene raised an eyebrow. 

"Weren't you super desperate to save him in Corona?" Eugene pressed. "And now, all of a sudden, you have no hope for him and don't even want to talk about him? What changed?"

"I said, 'I don't want to talk about my dad!'" Varian snapped. 

"You do realize your dad's part of the reason we brought you along, right, Kid?" Eugene asked, and Varian stopped walking. Eugene frowned as his face began turning red. "Your compound is connected to the rocks somehow, right?" Eugene continued. "And the rocks are connected to Rapunzel, and are trying to lead her somewhere to fulfill her destiny? What if wherever we're going has your answer?" Eugene hesitated. Varian was fuming now, smoke practically pouring out of his ears.

"Oh, so now you want to help?" Varian growled. "Now? When it's all over and I don't need you anymore?! Where was this help before it was too late? Huh?" Eugene winced as his voice began rising. "Where was your help when I was working myself to the bone day and night trying to save him?! Where was it when I was all by myself and everyone in my village abandoned me? Where was it when I was being left to die in the deadliest blizzard I've ever seen JUST BECAUSE I BEGGED FOR YOUR HELP?!?"

"Varian-"

"It's too late, Eugene!" Varian interrupted. "He's not coming back from the dead! So no. I'm not telling you about my feelings, or about dad. There's no hope for either of us, and you should just give up!"

Eugene frowned. Something about his expression was familiar somehow. Something about how he looked over his shoulder before starting to follow Eugene, or the tension in his shoulders and the anger in his eyes as they darted back and forth, scanning the trees for any sort of threat, or the way he walked on the balls of his feet with light, nearly silent footsteps, ready to fight or run at the first sign of danger, was all too familiar to him.

Before Eugene knew it, he wasn't looking at Varian anymore. 

He was looking at himself. 

He was looking at an orphaned teenage Flynn Rider who was so mad at the dirty hand of cards his life had dealt him that he wanted to see the world around him burn to the ground and didn't care who it hurt.

"You know," Eugene found himself telling that reflection, "Hope might seem kinda frivolous, but if I gave up hope every time someone told me to, I wouldn't be here to tell you the tale."

Varian rolled his eyes. 

"Well I don't want hope!" Varian snapped. "Okay? It's painful, and I'm tired of it! Now don't you need to focus on finding a way out of here?"

Eugene sighed, then went back to the map. 

“Alright, how does Adira read this stupid thing?” he murmured as he mimed her movements and studied the pictures. The map depicted a bunch of squiggly lines and a big X in front of some black, swirly blob.

“I think it’s pointing us towards a black… blobby thing?”

“You mean, that blobby thing?” Varian warily asked.

Eugene looked in the direction Varian was pointing to see a giant, raging black blob.

“Yep, there it is,” Eugene confirmed as they approached it.

“Aaand it’s not a blobby thing,” Varian groaned. “It’s a wall of black fire.”

“Yeah,” Eugene squeaked. “That was my next guess…”

Before he could contemplate a way around it, the forest decided for him, shifting behind the pair.

“Oh, come on!” Eugene frantically blurted out. “This can’t be right, can it? I have to walk through a wall of magical black fire?! This is crazy!” 

"If we run fast enough, we won't get burned," Varian mumbled as he pulled a little bottle from his coat pocket. 

"How do you know things like that?!" Eugene exclaimed. 

"Oh, come on, Eugene," Varian groaned as he pulled the cork and opened his bottle. "Every 'isolate-myself-in-my-dark-and-creepy-lab-and-sulk type of guy' knows that!"

Eugene raised an eyebrow as Varian poured part of the contents on his clothes.

“What are you doing?”

“Thanks,” Varian muttered as he corked his vial, “But I’m not exactly interested in catching on fire.”

Eugene looked towards the shifting trees, then back at Varian.

“Gimmie that,” he quickly ordered, snatching the vial and pouring the rest on his own outfit. “Okay,” he determinedly declared as he tossed the bottle aside. “This map had better be right!” With that, he ran through the fiery wall with Varian on his heels, tumbling down a slope and landing flat on his belly.

When he’d regained his breath, he turned his head to check on Varian, who was patting at a little flame that’d caught on the corner of his jacket with a gloved hand, before noticing a pair of black boots in front of him. To his utter relief, a now-familiar woman sat on the boulder directly in front of him, boredly watching him.

“ADIRA!”

Chapter Text

“Eugene!” Rapunzel called. “Watch out!” Alas, her warning came too late, as Eugene walked straight into Varian and they both fell through the landpit right behind the alchemist.

Cassandra threw her hands in the air.

“Aaaand we’ve lost Fitzher-jerk and the kid.” Cassandra groaned.  “Great!”

“Okay,” Rapunzel shakily murmured. “We need a plan to find Eugene and Varian.”

“Maybe we could use Adira’s map!” Lance suggested.

“And just how do you think we’re gonna get it from Eugene?” Cassandra demanded.

“Oh, riiiiiight.”

“Let’s just start walking,” Rapunzel suggested. “Maybe we’ll find a landmark.”

“Or we might just be walking in circles again,” Hookfoot grumbled.

“It’s better than standing around,” Cassandra sighed. “I’m with Raps.”

And so the remaining members of their party set off.

“Maybe we’ll find Adira,” Rapunzel told Cassandra as they walked. “And if we find her, she’ll know how to-”

“I don’t know if we want to find Adira,” Cassandra interrupted, keeping her voice low so only Rapunzel could hear. “Look, I know she helped us get this far, but I don’t trust her. She’s up to something.”

“Cass, she’s not up to anything!” Rapunzel whispered back. “She’s done nothing but help us so far!”

“Raps, did you notice how she knows Varian’s name and no one else’s?” Cassandra asked. Rapunzel frowned. Actually, she hadn’t noticed, but Cass was right. Adira did call Varian by name.

“That doesn’t mean we can’t trust her,” Rapunzel quietly argued. “Maybe she just heard about him, he did become pretty famous, after all.”

Cassandra didn’t look convinced, but she didn’t argue further.

“Wow, guys!” Lance called from ahead. “Get a load of this!”

Rapunzel and Cass hurried to catch up, looking where Lance had pointed. And as they journeyed on, they came across the most gorgeous flowers Rapunzel could possibly dream of hanging from the trees. They were huge, bigger than Rapunzel’s head, and their pink and orange hues were magnificent.

“These are the prettiest flowers I’ve ever seen,” Cassandra murmured as they walked along.

“They’re like medicine for my soul,” Hookfoot added. Rapunzel broke off from the group to admire one of her favorites.

“They’re beautiful,” Rapunzel breathed, reaching out and touching it. But her hand came to rest on a sticky, slimy surface, and when she pulled her hand away, a glue-like residue came with it.

It was then that Rapunzel remembered Adira’s tales from earlier.

“Wait,” she warily mumbled. “Don’t mistake the beauty for what it truly is: pure evil.” At that very moment, the flower she’d touched began wriggling back and forth. “Guys,” she called, “I don’t think these are flowers!”

As the wiggling turned to shaking, Rapunzel backed up, and just in time too! The flower petals burst open, revealing giant wings, beady red eyes and ginormous fangs!

“Spiders, why does it always have to be spiders?! ” Lance moaned.

“It’s the Drexis!” Rapunzel shouted, and as soon as she’d finished speaking, two of them sprang on top of Lance and Hookfoot, wrapping them in a cocoon of web.

“Rapunzel, run!” Cassandra ordered as she ran towards her. But when a spider snatched Cassandra and began trying to carry her away, Rapunzel hurried over and grabbed Cassandra’s ankles. She pulled and pulled, but that Drexis was really strong! And she was forced to let go when another one began to advance on her. Now she was all alone and she’d left her frying pan in the caravan! What would she do? What would she do!?!

But just as the Drexis opened its mouth to latch onto her, it was batted away with an obsidian blade.

Adira!

Rapunzel grinned as Eugene ran into the clearing, laughing like a maniac, but his manic laughter was like music to her ears. Thank goodness!

Eugene drew his sword, Varian on his heels, and they both began attacking the Drexis, forcing them back. Rapunzel couldn’t help the lump in her throat as a pink orb flew from Varian’s fingers, gooping one of the spider bats down with a puff of pink smoke, all too much like the smoke in his lab, or in the Royal Vault…

No! Rapunzel didn’t have time for that, they were still in danger!

Rapunzel briskly regrouped with Adira and Hookfoot, who was still bound in spider webs, while Varian knocked a few Drexis away from Lance and Eugene went to help Cassandra.

“Adira was right!” Lance cried as Varian and Shorty rolled him towards the group. “Their fangs are as big as chubby toddlers! Why? Why?! ”

“I’m not gonna be eaten by some stupid flower-spider-bat-thing!” Cassandra snarled as she kicked at a pair of fangs, but Eugene came to the rescue just in time.

“I leave you guys alone for five minutes, and you get spun into a cocoon by giant spider-bats pretending to be flowers?” Eugene chuckled. “Pfft. Typical.”

“Drexis, Eugene!” Varian corrected, pausing and shaking a finger at him. “They’re called Drexis!”

“Run now, correct me later!” Eugene shouted back.

“This isn’t looking good,” Adira told Rapunzel as they backed away from a group of the spiders. But at that moment, Maximus and Fidella barged into the clearing with Ruddiger on Fidella’s back. The two horses kicked at the arachnids surrounding them, but it still wasn’t enough.

“There’s still too many of them!” Rapunzel exclaimed. “What do we do, Eugene?”

“I think that’s a question for Adira!” Eugene called back as he and Cassandra joined them, followed by Lance, Varian and Shorty. The Drexis closed in around them, but before they could attack, Adira had a plan.

“The landpits!” Adira shouted. “We’ve gotta jump in that hole!”

Rapunzel followed after Adira with Cassandra at her side. Adira scooped up Lance, who told her something about how real men love strong women, then jumped into a nearby landpit. Rapunzel jumped in after her, and when everyone had gotten through, she breathed a sigh of relief when the Drexis didn’t follow. They were safe! And just an hour later, Eugene cut down the final branch between the gang and their freedom.

“I’ve never been so glad to see those black rocks,” Rapunzel sighed as she hugged Eugene, Pascal squeaking happily.

“I’m so happy, I could kiss someone!” Hookfoot declared as he scooped up Shorty. But he only seemed to notice what he’d done when Shorty began making kissy noises.

“Yeah, you might want to rethink that, Hooky,” Cassandra chuckled as Hookfoot dropped the dwarf.

“Well,” Adira cut in. “This is where I leave you.”

“Adira,” Eugene answered. “Thank you for every-”

“Everything?” Adira finished for him. “I know, I’m amazing.” Rapunzel glanced at Eugene as Adira began to boast, but Eugene was taking it surprisingly well. Looked like he was finally giving Adira a chance. 

“Once again, I have conquered the Forest of No Return,” She bragged as she walked away, “And single handedly pulled you out of a dire strait. And I still have bronchitis. Which, I didn’t even tell you about, because, let’s face it. I’m a champion.”

“Champion of my heart,” Lance swooned with a big, lovesick grin. Rapunzel gave him a slight smile. Was Lance… actually… in love with Adira? Oh, that was so adorable!

Before Adira left completely, she paused in front of Varian. An expression of real sadness and anger broke over her visage as she reached over and lightly tousled his hair in a comforting manner, whispering something that Rapunzel barely caught. 

"Hang in there, Kiddo."

And with that, she was gone. 

“Hey, look!” Shorty called from a short distance away before Rapunzel could ponder the significance of this. “Someone put a tent on wheels!”

Rapunzel turned to look where he was pointing to get a lovely lucky break!

“It’s our caravan!” Rapunzel cheered as she ran up to it. “The land must’ve shifted it over here! Shorty, you have excellent vision.”

“Because I eat a lot of Vitamin Butter.”

Later that night, the team sat around their campfire, chatting and laughing about the crazy day they'd just had.

"And then, I remembered what Adira said!" Rapunzel happily exclaimed. "'Don't mistake the beauty for what it truly is: pure evil.' And then- and then they turned into giant spiders!"

"Yeah, Adira wasn't lying when she said their teeth were the size of chubby toddlers," Hookfoot drawled. "Those were the biggest spiders I've ever seen!"

"For the last time, they're called 'Drexis,'" Varian quietly grumbled at Hookfoot.

"Aw, same difference," Eugene dismissed him with a wave of his hand. "So that's how you guys got all wrapped up!" He continued, chuckling at his own joke. "I gotta say-"

"E-excuse me."

Everyone went quiet when Cassandra abruptly stood with only that warning and stormed away, her breaths coming out in shaky gasps as she left. 

"What was that about?" Eugene asked with a raised eyebrow. 

"Let me go find out," Rapunzel answered as she rose to go after her.

"Wait!" Lance called. "Princess, I don't think…"

His voice faded out as she hurried after Cassandra. 

"Cass, are you okay?" Rapunzel asked as she watched Cassandra whip out her sword. 

"I'm fine, Raps," Cassandra growled. "Go back to camp."

“Cass?” Rapunzel tried, jogging to catch up with her. "Cass, what's wrong?" 

"I said, 'I'm fine!'" Cassandra snapped, spinning around to face her with a stormy scowl. Rapunzel jumped back and raised her hands when she found the tip of her sword pointed at her chest. Cassandra had never been this hostile towards her before!

Cassandra glanced at the blade in her quivering hand, then lowered it with a soft, trembling sigh.

"G-go back to camp, I'll be fine," Cassandra grumbled, turning on heel and heading off down the path. Rapunzel sighed as she disappeared into the night. 

"Okay… if you're sure…" Rapunzel hesitantly mumbled as she turned back towards camp. 

What was that about?

Chapter Text

A week passed by, and Eugene finally settled into a new rhythm for the hustle and bustle of life on the road. It was like pulling teeth, but he, with the help of Lance and Cassandra, finally managed to get the resident stubborn teenager to eat at least one meal every day. Varian still complained that it made him nauseous, but he wasn’t about to starve to death, which Eugene considered to be a win. Lance commissioned a painting of Adira for his room courtesy of Rapunzel, and the day Eugene woke up to see his best friend giving the painting a little smooch, he laughed so hard that he woke up the entire caravan.

“Lance, I think she’s a little out of your league, Buddy,” Eugene chortled.

“She is not!” Lance protested. “She’s-”

“Ugh, could you guys not?” Varian moaned, covering his ears with his pillow. “Can’t you swoon over your girlfriend a little quieter?”

“Hey! I can swoon over Adira as much as I want, because she is too in my league!” Lance argued, shooting Eugene a side-eye.

“Where?” Hookfoot scoffed. “In your league of women who could do a lot better than you?"

Eugene laughed again as Lance spluttered at that.

“Guys, it’s seven in the morning!” Cassandra’s muffled voice complained from the other side of the caravan. “Some people just got off their watch shift and are trying to-”

“Good morning, Cass!” Rapunzel’s voice cheerily chirped. “Would you look at that sunrise? Ooh, ooh, I’m gonna go get a painting of it!”

“Why do I even bother?” Cass groaned as a door slammed shut.

Speaking of the watch shift, they’d also finally worked out a routine courtesy of Cassandra and Rapunzel. It involved Eugene having to wake up in the middle of the night to watch over Varian, and a small part of him wondered if Cass did that on purpose, but he’d usually sleep in late in the morning to make up for lost beauty sleep.

When Eugene woke up one night for said watch shift, he woke to hear Varian muttering curses under his breath. 

"Ow. Ow. Ow. Ruddiger, stop it. Stop it! Ow! King Fredrick's Royal Boxers, stop it!"

Eugene sat up to see Varian gingerly trying to maneuver a small comb out of his matted, gnarly hair as Ruddiger nervously backed off and hid under his bed.

"I'd stay out of this one," Lance muttered under his breath to Eugene as he climbed into his bunk. "He wouldn't let me touch him."

Eugene frowned as Lance went to bed and Varian attempted to run his comb through his hair again only to hiss in pain, his face twisted in a grimace. It seemed that after going as long as he had without brushing his raven locks, he had a bit of a disaster on his hands. And even if Eugene still had… misgivings about him, to put it lightly, he wasn't about to sit there and watch him suffer when he could help.

Sighing, Eugene went to his vanity and pulled out all of his combs and every hair care product he could find. Lord knows he'd need it. He then carried his armful of various bottles and trinkets to the alchemist and dumped them on his bed.

"Put that flimsy thing down before you break it," Eugene flatly ordered as he lifted a stronger comb for him to see. "I'll take a go at it."

Varian snarled and backed away, baring his teeth like cornered prey.

"I can handle it just fine, thanks," Varian ground out through clenched teeth. As if to mock him, his own comb betrayed him with a loud snap, and then he was pulling two pieces of comb from his hair.

"Case in point," Eugene muttered. "Now come on, Goggles, scoot over. I didn't get my silky smooth hair for nothing, and I most definitely haven't been dating a girl with seventy feet of unbreakable hair for nothing either."

Varian did not move, his deep glare never faltering. Alright. Time for the ultimatum. 

"Look, Kid," Eugene matter-of-factly murmured as he showed him a pair of wickedly sharp scissors. "If you don't let me help, I'll have to cut it off, and trust me, bald isn't a good look on everyone."

"I can take care of that myself," Varian protested, reaching for his scissors, but Eugene quickly held them out of his reach.

“Ooooh, nice try, but I don’t think I trust you with sharp objects,” Eugene frankly informed him. “So unless you just want to leave your hair like that, either you’re gonna let me help, or I’m gonna have to cut it myself. Take your pick.”

Varian rolled his eyes and sighed as he scooted over and let Eugene take a look at his hair. Eugene sat down, carefully peering through the locks in the back of his head, where the mats seemed to be the worst. And great elephants, some of those knots were as hard as rocks! As his eyes scanned the harsh, prickly tangles and the red, irritated scalp where his matting tugged at his skin, Eugene couldn’t help but wonder how in the Seven Kingdoms Varian had lived like this for so long.

“Okay, so we may end up having to cut some of this,” Eugene told him as he poured a large glob of hair conditioner on the palm of his hand and started massaging it into the worst of the knots. “But I’ll hide it the best I can. And at any rate, I think we can deal with most of this.” And with that, Eugene handed him the bottle of conditioner and a comb so he could work on his bangs, picked up another comb, and started picking through one of the mats.

Things were relatively quiet (except for Lance’s snores!) as they worked at his tangled strands. Varian hissed and gasped as Eugene worked his way up mat after knotted mat, but Eugene tried his best to be gentle, after all, there was no way this was anything short of painful.  

“So,” Eugene muttered to fill the silence as they worked. “You wanna tell me how this got so bad?”

Varian didn’t respond.

“Did you just… stop brushing it when we left Corona?” Eugene tried. “Because these seem to be a bit older than that.” He raised an eyebrow as something occurred to him. “Was it because of your Dad?” he asked. “You stopped taking care of yourself so you could free him?”

“Eugene,” Varian bit out, grimacing as he tugged at a knot in his bangs. “For the last time, I don’t want to talk about my Dad.”

“Oh come on, can’t you at least humor me?” Eugene asked, working more conditioner into a particularly bad mat.

“No,” Varian hissed. “I. Don’t. Want. To. Talk. About. My Dad!”

“You know, you can’t keep running from what happened,” Eugene matter-of-factly answered as he picked up his comb again. “It’s not helping anything.”

“And what would you know about that?” Varian grumbled, turning his head just long enough to shoot Eugene a quick glare before letting him go back to his work.

“Kid, I nearly had to marry my ex-fiancée a month ago because I ran from what happened to me!” Eugene retorted. “I’m ten years older than you, I think I know about running from my problems.”

“That doesn’t mean you understand.”

Eugene pressed his lips together, and he couldn’t help but remember a discussion he’d once had, when he was a teenager, with a sheriff who claimed he understood what he was going through as he led him to a jail cell.

“Look, Son-”

“Flynn Rider.”

“Okay, Finn, I used to get into trouble a lot too when I was your age. My folks didn’t have a whole lot of money, so I would steal things. But you can’t keep going on like this. You know it’s not right.”

Eugene had fumed as that guy locked him in a dark cell and left him there. What did that pompous jerk who couldn’t even be bothered to pronounce his name right know about him? What did he understand about having no parents to look after him, or never knowing where his next meal would come from, or not being able to settle down anywhere because the law didn’t care if he wanted to do right or not, or being indebted to a major crime lord who would destroy him if he gave his life as a thief up? And now Eugene’s face burned at the memory, just slightly. He couldn’t help but wonder if that guy knew more than he let on.

Now he sighed.

"I just might understand more than you think, Kid," Eugene off-handedly muttered as he picked up the scissors and began to very carefully clip out a rock-hard knot that was so tight, his scalp was taut and bloody. "I didn't get my reputation for nothing."

"Oh, would you just- Yow! What are you doing?! Give me those!"

Eugene was quick to yank the scissors out of reach before Varian could take them. 

"I'm cutting out a really bad knot. Relax," Eugene sternly ordered. "It's just really close to your skin so it's gonna hurt."

Varian groaned and crossed his arms. 

"Shows how much you understand," he grumbled at him. "How do you expect me to relax in a place like this with someone like you?"

"Look, Varian," Eugene snapped. "I know this situation isn't exactly ideal for either of us. I know that you hate me, and frankly, I'm not your biggest fan either. But there's nothing either of us can do about it, so why don't we just make the most of it, yeah? This matted mop looks like it really hurts, and it's gonna get worse if you don't hold still and let me work!"

With a final groan, Varian turned his head so Eugene could keep working.

It took hours, but just as Eugene said, they were able to save most of his hair. Eugene only ended up having to cut out a few knots and mats, and luckily, they were all in easily hidden spots. He ended up clipping it shorter, much to Varian’s protests, because detangling the matted locks had revealed just how long his hair had grown while it was neglected. He then used a wet rag to carefully clean a few spots where his abused scalp had been pulled until it bled and ran some hair serum through the thick, messy strands to try and help with some of the damage it endured during the ordeal. He smiled as he watched Varian gingerly comb his fingers through his hair, closing his eyes and sighing through his nose. Somehow seeing that look of utter relief on his face, a look that Eugene put there, made him feel warm inside. Then he remembered who he was looking at and cleared his throat to regain his composure. 

"Please don't let it get that bad again," Eugene matter-of-factly implored him, gesturing for him to keep the comb he'd used as he put his bottles away. "Because that was excruciating." Varian rolled his eyes with a soft hmph as he tucked the comb away in his bag and sat back down on his bed while running another hand through his hair. "And keep those sores clean," Eugene added. "The last thing we need is an infection." He closed the door to his vanity and turned back to the young alchemist. “Now why don’t you try and get some sleep?” he suggested. “Last time I checked, kids your age need their rest.”

“Not tired,” Varian answered as he pulled his knees to his chest and leaned against the wall. Eugene raised an eyebrow just as Cassandra came through the door for the shift change.

“Well… try to get some sleep anyway,” Eugene muttered as he climbed into bed and pulled his blanket over his shoulder. “Night, Goggles.”

Chapter Text

Rapunzel took a deep breath of the beautiful fresh air. 

"Do you hear that?" She peacefully murmured to Eugene, Lance and Hookfoot. "That is the sound of peaceful tranquility." 

"Rapunzel!" Cassandra’s voice shouted, piercing through the quiet. Rapunzel glanced over her shoulder at Cassandra, who leaned against the tree with Owl perched on her shoulder. "This was supposed to be a quick bathroom break," she scolded, "Not a meditation." 

"I was multitasking," Shorty announced, leading everyone to get up and evacuate the area. 

"Sorry, Cass," Rapunzel excitedly answered her, gesturing to the beautiful sight around them. "But look at this view! I mean, doesn't that just inspire you?" 

"You know what I find inspiring?" Cassandra matter-of-factly groaned. "Progress!" Cassandra moved past her towards the caravan. "Getting from point A to B without stopping to marvel at every meadow, valley, pond, and nole along the way!" 

Rapunzel followed her to the caravan. 

"Look, Cass, I know we have to get to... wherever these rocks are leading us," Rapunzel murmured, her heart fluttering as she thought of where they could be headed, "But... aren't you afraid that if you focus too much on the road ahead, you might miss the fun at your feet?" 

"Don't worry about me, Raps," Cassandra chuckled. "If I want fun, I know where to find it." 

"Oh yeah?" Lance interrupted as he and Hookfoot passed by. "And where would that be? A funeral home?" 

Cassandra smirked, then calmly walked up to Varian, who was leaned against the caravan with his arms crossed as he sulked. She wrapped a hand around one of his wrists, gripping just a little too tightly, Rapunzel noticed, then pried it away from him and forced something into his fist. She walked back towards Rapunzel, her smug grin growing as Varian raised an eyebrow and opened his hand to study whatever she'd handed him. 

"Cassandra, what's this for?" Varian grumbled in a low tone. Cassandra whistled. 

Owl shot from the trees and quickly attacked him, Varian yelping and covering his head to try to fend him off. 

"Owl!" Varian shouted as Owl pecked at him. "Owl, get off me! Ow ow ow! Go away you stupid bird!" 

"See?" Cassandra drawled to Rapunzel as she left Varian to his own devices. "Fun!" 

Hookfoot laughed as he and Lance headed inside. 

"Good one, Cass," he called over his shoulder. Lance nudged him in the ribs.

"Ow! What was that for?!"

Once everyone was in the caravan, Rapunzel and Cassandra sat at a table, mindlessly playing cards. Rapunzel tried her best not to think about how frightened she was of her destiny. She was Rapunzel, and Rapunzel wasn't scared of anything! Well, except for losing one of her friends. Or something happening to Eugene or Pascal. Or guys on stilts. Or the plague. Otherwise, Rapunzel wasn't afraid of anything. 

The caravan jolted, sending their cards flying, and Rapunzel heard the loud, high-pitched screech of a small child. Oh no, had they just run over a little girl?!

"Is everybody okay?" Rapunzel gasped, poking her head out a window. "I thought I heard a child scream!" 

"It was just Lance," Eugene flatly muttered, poking his head out from the driver's seat. "The wheel's broken. Don't worry, I can fix it!" Rapunzel shrugged and ducked back inside the caravan. She followed Cassandra out the door on their side to hear Lance chuckling. 

"Here, here, let me," Lance chided. "After all, I am the strong one." 

Eugene laughed as Rapunzel frowned and Cassandra groaned. Oh no.  

"Wait a minute!" Eugene guffawed. "Now don't let this sleek, sinewy, insanely attractive frame fool you, I am the strong one!" 

A door burst open on their side. 

"I'm stronger than both of you clowns!" Hookfoot announced. Eugene and Lance laughed. 

"This guy," Eugene chortled. 

"Don't even get started, Varian, you're as thin as a rail!" Lance declared as Rapunzel and Cassandra headed around the corner to see what was going on. "There is no way you're the strong one!" 

"What do I need to be strong for?" Varian grumbled from the doorway. "My brain is stronger than all of your muscles combined!" 

"False, rejected," Eugene deadpanned. "The brain is not a muscle!" 

"Sounds like we've got ourselves a good old-fashioned: A MUSCLE CHALLENGE!" Lance announced. 

Rapunzel rolled her eyes when Eugene and Lance and Hookfoot began flexing their muscles and grunting. 

"Guys, can we please focus?" Varian sighed as he crossed his arms. "We have to fix the-" 

"Not now, Varian," Eugene dismissed him while flexing his muscles. "I'm not even flexing, really, just standing in weird ways!" Eugene gave a roar as he flexed. 

"Oh brother," Cassandra groaned, facepalming. "This could be a while." 

"That's great!" Rapunzel enthusiastically cheered, already giddy with excitement. "It means we have time for a little adventure! And, seeing as this is the most beautiful forest I have ever seen, I say we take a hike!" 

"Take a hike?!" Shorty retorted, interrupting them, "Fine! I know when I'm not wanted!" With that, Shorty disappeared into the bushes. 

"Pascal," Rapunzel groaned, resisting the urge to pinch the bridge of her nose in frustration. "Keep an eye on him." Pascal squeaked, then headed after him. 

"Come on, Cass!" Rapunzel joyously proclaimed as she gripped her shoulders. "Who knows what we might find with a little exploring!" 

"I don't know," Cassandra hesitantly muttered, lightly pushing her away. 

"Or we could just hang out here," Rapunzel offered, gesturing to the muscle challenge. 

"Look at my triceps!" Eugene bragged while flexing his muscles. "Anybody want to play horseshoes?" 

"Explore, it is," Cassandra grumbled with a resigned sigh. 

"Yes!" Rapunzel cheered, pulling Cass along. "Let's go!" 

Rapunzel and Cassandra ran through the countryside. Oh, was it amazing! The rivers they crossed were just the right temperature, and it seemed like everywhere Rapunzel turned, there were flowers even more gorgeous than the last. They found a hollow tree filled with bioluminescent mushrooms, and drawing fun face paint designs on each other was such a treat! Rapunzel gasped when she saw a sight she never thought she'd see in all her years in the tower. 

"Cass, look!" She breathed. "The cliffs of Koto! Oh, I have always wanted to go there!" 

"Nope," Cassandra answered, discarding a flower crown Rapunzel had made her. "No can do. We don't have that kind of time!" 

"Says who?" Rapunzel dismissed her, pulling her towards it. 

They passed through a spooky forest, complete with fun slidy trees and crows everywhere. 

"Ugh," Cassandra groaned. "Do you even know where you're going?" 

"No," Rapunzel answered, "But that's what makes exploring-" 

At that moment, the weak spot Rapunzel had pulled Cassandra to stand on crumbled, sending them sliding down a hole and sprawling onto the ground below. 

"Fun," Rapunzel finished. 

"Yeah," Cassandra sarcastically wheezed. "Real fun." 

Rapunzel and Cassandra stood and cracked their backs, trying to recover from their fall. 

A woman's voice floated up from a clearing just ahead. 

"Rapunzel!" Cassandra whispered. "Get down!" 

Rapunzel got down with her, peering through the branches. 

A large pink house sat in the clearing. A couple dressed in yellow and white sat on toadstools drinking tea. 

"Your assertion, Mother, is undeniable!" The man answered the woman. 

"O...kay," Cassandra murmured as Rapunzel smiled. These seemed like lovely people! 

Rapunzel stood and came out of hiding, Cassandra following from behind. 

"Hi there!" She greeted. "My name is Rapunzel, and this is my friend Cassandra!" 

"And what has brought ladies Rapunzel and Cassandra to our most humblest of abodes?" The woman asked. 

"She dragged me," Cassandra muttered. Rapunzel cringed, shooting her a dirty look before smiling at the couple. 

"Uh, we took a little detour out in this beautiful countryside to see what kind of adventure we might find!" Rapunzel told them. 

"Oh! Well, how positively serendipitous!" The woman answered. 

"Please, sit!" The man invited. 

"What do you mean, 'serendipitous?'" Asked Rapunzel. 

"Well, you seek adventure," the man answered, handing them each a cup of tea, "And, you might say mother and I are somewhat of aficionados of fanciful merriment!" The man poured them tea from a gorgeous red teapot with birds painted all over it. 

"I love fanciful merriment!" Rapunzel exclaimed. "Wow, what a beautiful teapot!" 

"Yes, it is quite beautiful," the woman agreed, "And yet, its beauty is a minor benefit next to its magical properties!" 

Rapunzel frowned. 

"Magical?" Cassandra skeptically repeated. 

"Indeed, all of what you see here, the cottage, the toadstools, and even the birds all exist because of this teapot!" The man answered, gesturing to a twisty tree of birds perched on its branches. 

"Uh, I-I-I don't understand," Rapunzel stammered. 

"How would you like to enjoy our very modest forest as a bird?" The woman asked, flapping her hands for emphasis. 

Rapunzel laughed, that was funny! Then doubt overtook her. 

"Oh, oh, you're serious," she murmured as she sipped her tea. 

"Okay," Cassandra announced, quickly putting her cup down. "Now we're out of here." 

Rapunzel quickly stood and turned to follow, but something flew right in front of her face, stopping her in her tracks. She gasped as she turned back to the table to see a white and yellow toucan flapping its wings where the man once stood. 

"Please, don't be alarmed," the man's voice said from the bird's mouth. 

Rapunzel quickly sat back down, stuttering over her words. 

"It can't be," Rapunzel breathed. 

"Oh ho, but it is," the man answered, soaring above the table, "And it is most wondrously sublime! For, lest you forget, birds are the very embodiment of the term, freedom. You owe it to yourselves to enjoy this." The man flew back over to the woman. "Isn't that right, Mother?" 

"Unequivocally," the woman agreed. "Seize this opportunity." 

"Uh, look, I-I'm, I'm usually up for anything," Rapunzel stuttered, "But this is, um-" 

"Insane?!" Cassandra exclaimed, finishing for her. 

"I mean, even if we wanted to," Rapunzel continued, "How? How would we even...do that?" 

"Well, that's the beauty, dear," the woman answered. "You already have. You've drunk the tea." 

It was at that moment that Rapunzel realized that her fingers were now feathers. Rapunzel was now a bright yellow goldfinch with purple wings. 

Rapunzel spluttered as she took in her new appearance. 

"Are you kidding me?!" Cassandra shouted. Rapunzel turned to see Cass examining brown feathers, looking positively angry. 

"We're birds!" Rapunzel gasped. "What do we do?!" 

Cassandra struggled to get up on the table. 

"What did you do to us?" Cassandra demanded. 

"Oh, no, please, please, my crumpets, there's no need for distress," the man answered. "I'll show you." 

"Forgive our chicanerous moves, dears," the woman apologized with a chuckle as she lifted a glass lid covering a pile of blue eggs and removed one, "But it's often the only way to demonstrate that this gift is harmless, and most temporary." She broke the egg above the man's head, spilling magical blue powder on him, and just like that, he was back to being human. 

"Our only caveat:" the man added, "You must return within one hour, so as to avoid the affliction we call, Avarian Totalis." 

Rapunzel frowned deeply. Something about the term Avarian Totalis was very unsettling. 

"What does that mean?" 

"It means you'd become, well, a 'Bird Brain,'" the man answered. "You'd not only look like a bird, you'd think like a bird. Your desire to be the person you once were would dissolve, and you'd remain a bird forever." 

"Oh!" Cassandra sarcastically chuckled. "Well, since you put it that way, GIVE US THOSE EGGS, NOW!!!” 

Rapunzel sighed in relief when the woman removed two eggs from the platter for them to change back. She flapped her wings to boost herself, but she was carried high above the table.

"Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, Cass!" Rapunzel gasped, her heart fluttering with excitement as she lowered herself back to the toadstool. "Did you see that? I-I just flew!" Rapunzel soared back into the air, going even higher this time and flying in a loop. 

"I'm flying!" She breathed, and suddenly, she wanted to seize this opportunity for everything it was worth. She wanted to go to the clouds. 

"Indeed, we only wanted to share our wonderful elixir with you," the man answered her in an apologetic tone. 

"Come now," the woman added, gesturing to the eggs as Rapunzel landed back on the toadstools. "Let us return you to your beautiful, original states." 

"Uh, just a second," Rapunzel murmured, putting a wing around Cassandra’s shoulders. "Cass? Can we talk?" 

Cassandra frowned at Rapunzel as they turned away from the couple. 

"I know this is weird-" 

"No no no no," Cassandra interrupted, "Having seventy feet of magical hair is weird. Whatever you see in Eugene, is weird. This?" Cassandra lifted her wings for emphasis. "This is full-blown wacko!" 

"Okay, yes, it's wacko," Rapunzel admitted as Cassandra turned away. "But when are we gonna get this chance again?" Cassandra looked back at her. "They can turn us back whenever we want," Rapunzel added. "And Cass, we can fly." Rapunzel flew in a circle around her. 

Cassandra sighed. 

"I am so going to regret this." 

"Yes!" Rapunzel cheered. "Thank you!" She turned to the couple. "Okay, we will be back in one hour." With that, she took off for the trees. 

"Woo-hoo!" Rapunzel whooped, soaring high into the sky! And she thought the things she discovered on the ground were amazing, now she was freewheeling from cloud to cloud to cloud! With her wings spread, and the sky below her, there was no one to stop or slow her. It was pure freedom, and everything was allowed! 

Rapunzel glanced at the black rocks beneath her. Down there, there were tons of burdens she had to bear. But from the sky, the world looked so small, and suddenly, life seemed so clear. From up there, she could just coast past it all, the obstacles just disappeared. 

She didn't feel heavy or earthbound, no worries or doubts could interfere. There was nothing but Rapunzel looking down at the view from up there. 

Rapunzel frowned when she realized that Cassandra wasn't following her. She flew around and quickly found Cassandra nervously hugging herself on a tree branch. 

"You've got to try this!" Rapunzel told her. 

"I don't know," Cassandra fearfully mumbled, nervously backing away. 

"Oh, come on, Cass," Rapunzel insisted. "Just watch, it's easy!" With that, Rapunzel pulled Cass under her wing and took off. 

"Stretch out with the wind behind you," Rapunzel instructed, demonstrating how to fly. "Float up, let the current find you, keep climbing, and sail from breeze to breeze!" 

"Stay close," Cassandra choked as Rapunzel released her. "Don't leave me please!" 

Cassandra awkwardly flailed her wings, struggling to stay in the air, but eventually she evened out her flapping. 

"I think I've got it," Cassandra breathed, smiling up at Rapunzel as she flew around in the clouds. Rapunzel continued to do flying tricks around Cassandra while she continued to get the hang of it, and soon Cassandra seemed to be enjoying this as much as Rapunzel. 

Once Cassandra had fully figured out how to fly, Rapunzel flew back down to continue exploring with Cassandra right behind her. They found a savanna-like field with wild horses, and when they began to stampede, flying with them was one of the coolest things she'd ever done! They found a river, and Rapunzel skimmed its gorgeously clear surface as they passed it. They soared up through the trees, vibrant with their fall colors, before finally finding the cliffs of Koto. Oh, they were even better than Rapunzel had ever imagined! And nothing was in her way, she could just explore to her heart's content. 

All she had to do was enjoy the view from up there.

Chapter Text

Varian frowned at his work while the others were engrossed in flexing their muscles. He got the wheel fixed and the axle fixed, but he needed to get the wheel on the caravan. He wasn't strong enough to lift the caravan by himself, the men were useless, the girls had snuck off, and if he tried to go inside to grab some tools to lift the caravan, well, last time he tried that, he'd been yelled at. 

Varian turned back to the muscle challenge. 

"Hey!" He snapped at them. "This is your stupid caravan, can I get some help over-" 

"Not now, Varian," Eugene simply answered. "We're busy." 

Varian crossed his arms and leaned back against the caravan with a groan. He'd done everything he could for the caravan out of sheer boredom. He didn't actually care how fast the others got to their stupid destination, mind you, but he'd still helped them out, and what was the thanks he got? 

Not now, Varian. 

I'm busy, Varian. 

Varian, can it wait until later? 

Suck it up, Varian, you'll be fine. 

Come on, Varian, it's not that big of a deal. You're just overreacting. 

Such had been his life since… well, pretty much since this nightmare began. It wasn't unlike the way he expected to be treated, after all, he had to assume that this was how he would've been treated if he had spoken to the guards in jail, but it was still a pain in his side. And one could argue that a bad guy, someone like him, couldn't get upset over being treated like that after his villainous actions. But they could go climb a tree, because just because he probably deserved it didn't mean he had to like it. Nor did it mean that it wasn't annoying. 

What Varian really didn't understand was how this lined up with the entire reason they forced this journey on him. If they were so bound and determined to 'fix' him, then constantly ignoring and dismissing him was a funny way to do so. How did they expect him, a broken, ruined villain with nothing but a raccoon to live for, to get his life together if they weren't willing to put some effort into it? And Varian still thought they were crazy, but seriously? 

The ironic part was that the entire reason he ruined his life to chase the fairytale that hope turned out to be was to make people hear him. Here he was, and these dimwitted morons still wouldn't hear him. It was like they were trying to ignore him. Which was, honestly, entirely possible considering everything they'd put him through. 

He felt a wet nose poke its way under his hand, and he lifted it to gently scratch behind Ruddiger's ears, being extra careful to avoid the peck marks on his head and body. The poor thing had gotten the heck pecked out of him trying to protect Varian from Owl's attacks, having been the only one willing to actually help him out instead of laughing at him. Oh, Varian had been mortified! Cassandra’s little attempt at fun was so embarrassing that he could barely show his face in the caravan, but no one really seemed to care. Nor did anyone care about how Ruddiger had gotten hurt, or that it took Varian a solid half-hour to clean his best friend up after that. He wasn't exactly mad at Owl over it, it wasn't his fault Cassandra made him attack them, he was just following his handler's orders. The nocturnal bird had calmed right down when Varian figured out that he wanted the bean in his hand, and had even let him pet his soft maroon feathers. But he was still humiliated, not to mention a little ticked off (to put it lightly) that Cassandra had indirectly hurt Ruddiger. 

He glared over at the muscle challenge when he heard Eugene call out to Rapunzel. 

"Blondie?" Eugene called. "Cass?" Eugene frowned. "Wait a minute. Guys? Where are Cass and Rapunzel?" 

Varian let out a low hmph. Of course they hadn't seen them sneak off. 

"They went-" 

"Let me look for them," Lance interrupted. "Could they be under this big, heavy tree trunk?" Lance grunted as he lifted a large log. "Nope!" 

Hookfoot climbed on the log as Varian rolled his eyes. 

"Guys, they-" 

"Maybe they're not under a tree," Hookfoot offered with a smug grin, "Maybe they're up one." He grabbed a tree branch and did a chin up. "I didn't see them, but I'll check again." Hookfoot did a one handed chin up. 

"Guys, would you please-" 

"Nope, not up there!" Hookfoot announced as he continued to do chin ups and Lance put the log down. 

Varian stood up. 

"THEY SNUCK OFF AND WENT EXPLORING!" He shouted. Eugene and Lance turned to him. 

"Why didn't you tell us sooner?" Eugene snapped. 

"I tried to-" 

"Guys, can we stop showing off just for a minute," Eugene groaned at Lance and Hookfoot, "And focus on finding the girls?" Eugene gestured for everyone to follow and headed into the trees. Varian glanced at the guys as they headed off, then at the caravan, then back at the guys. He sighed as Ruddiger gingerly climbed to his favorite spot on Varian’s shoulder, then followed after them. 

He scratched Ruddiger's head as they traveled through the sunlit grove of trees, quickly recoiling when the raccoon whimpered. He frowned up at the guys as they talked amongst themselves about where the girls could possibly have gone. Maybe if they'd listened to him, Rapunzel and Cassandra wouldn't have even felt the need to wander off. But as frustrating as it was, not being heard… it was actually something he was kind of used to. 

Varian's eyes went to his boots when one memory in particular swirled to the surface. 

Eight year-old Varian was seated under his hideout tree just outside of Old Corona with his nose in a book as he tried to sound out a particularly difficult sentence. 

"Hy...hy-drah-gen per... puh-eh-ur-ah-cs-eye-duh-eh... per-ox-i-deh? Hydrogen peroxideh is made up of two hy... hydrogen m... m-ah-ul-eh-cah-uh-ul-eh-ss... mall-eh-cul-ayes? Two hydrogen mall-eh-cul-ayes and two o... ah-cs-ee-guh-eh-nuh... oxygen mall-eh-cul-ayes to make-" 

"Hey Hairstripe," a voice he'd recognize anywhere taunted him as his book was yanked from his hands. "Don't you know that books are for losers?" 

Varian looked up at the three boys who towered over him. Boys he knew well. The first kid was named Amos. He was about ten years old, with dark, suntanned skin, brown hair, and a stocky build. The second was named Tobias. He was about nine years old, tall and lanky and not very bright, with blonde hair and pale green eyes. Their ring leader was named Cyrus. He was a whopping eleven and a half years old, big, tall, muscular and handsome, with spiky black hair and a taunting smirk. 

"Give me back my book, Cyrus!" Varian snapped as he jumped to his feet and grabbed for it, but Cyrus was almost twice Varian’s size and easily held it out of his reach. 

"What's this lame-o nerd reading today?" Cyrus scoffed as he scanned the pages. "Hydrogen Peroxide? Lame!" 

He chuckled as Varian jumped to grab the book only for Cyrus to hold it higher. 

"That's mine!" Varian shouted. "Give it back!" 

"That's mine, give it back!" Amos mocked him. 

"Stop copying me, Amos!" 

"Stop copying me, Amos!" Amos mocked him. 

Before Varian knew what was happening, his book had clonked him upside the head and sent him to the ground. He rubbed his temple and glared up at Cyrus as he tossed the book in the mud. 

"Whatcha gonna do about it, huh?" Cyrus sneered as he leaned forward. "You gonna cry like a baby?" 

Varian reached into his apron pocket and tossed a small sack in his face. The sack exploded and engulfed his head in pink smoke. Varian jumped to his feet and tried to use the distraction to retrieve his book and go as Cyrus coughed, but Tobias grabbed his sleeve before he could. 

"Where you going, Hairstripe?" He asked in a mocking tone. "You gonna go home to your mommy?" 

"Shut your face, Tobias!" Amos snapped as he took Varian’s other arm. "He doesn't have a mother!"

"Let me go, Amos!" Varian ordered. 

"Aww, what's the matter?" Amos taunted him. "Is our little freak scared?" 

"You should be," Cyrus growled as the smoke cleared, revealing his hair and skin to have been dyed bright pink. "Who do you think you are?" 

Varian’s voice was small and trembling and his eyes were focused hard on the ground as he slowly and hesitantly answered. 

"I'm an alchemist." 

Cyrus narrowed his eyes. 

"Come on, guys," he scoffed. "I'm done with this stupid so-called 'alchemist.'" 

"I'm not-" 

Varian was cut off when Amos and Tobias shoved him into the puddle of mud next to his book. 

"See you later, Hairstripe," Cyrus chuckled. "Or should I say, Mud Face!" 

The three bullies laughed as they left Varian to his own devices. 

Varian’s heart began beating at a rabbit’s pace as he picked himself up and tucked the ruined book under his arm before trudging towards Old Corona with tears stinging his eyes. Oh, his dad had gotten so mad the last time Cyrus and his buddies got him dirty. He'd been punished dearly for that! The switch marks on his legs still stung! He was going to be so mad at him for getting all muddy again! 

Maybe if he took a bath before Dad came home, he wouldn't have to know. 

Varian slipped inside and tried to sneak upstairs, but before he could, his Dad called to him from the kitchen. 

"Varian, dinner's almost-" 

His father trailed off when he came out of the kitchen and took in Varian’s appearance. 

"Varian, what did I tell you about playing in the mud?" He angrily boomed. 

Varian fearfully stumbled a few steps back, hanging his head. 

"Not to," he mumbled. "But-but Dad, I can explain-" 

"Then there should be no misunderstanding!" Dad interrupted. "There's no excuse, I told you to stop getting dirty, and you disobeyed me!" 

"Dad, that's not what-" 

"I don't want to hear it!" His father snapped, pointing towards the stairs. "Get your rear-end up there and clean yourself up and then you can go straight to bed!" 

"D-dad-" 

"Get cleaned up before I tan your hide!" 

Varian’s heart raced even faster as his eyes darted to the switch in the corner of the room, then to his dirty boots. His shoulders slumped with defeat. 

"Yes, Sir."

Varian was pulled from his thoughts when he followed the guys into a dark, spooky forest. He found himself growing tense, his body automatically going into defense mode. He began walking on the balls of his feet, light and quiet, with his breath going shallow to travel as silently as possible. He scanned the trees for any flash of black and red, looking over his shoulder frequently, and listening carefully for footsteps or shouting. Normally he'd manage to convince himself that nothing was there, but something about this particular forest made him especially uneasy. His gut told him that something dangerous lied inside it, something he didn't want anything to do with. As if he was feeling the same way, Ruddiger gave a small, nervous chitter and curled tighter around his shoulders. 

"I know, Ruddiger, I don't trust this either," Varian whispered. 

"You know, guys, for once, I'm with Varian," Hookfoot declared. "This place gives me the creeps!" 

"Come on, guys," Eugene started, but before he could finish whatever he had to say, the ground gave out and they all fell down a long tunnel. Varian groaned when he landed on Hookfoot, then yelped when Ruddiger landed on his back. 

"Oh, how lovely," a woman's voice said from a clearing just ahead. "Look, Father, unforseen guests." 

As they pushed themselves to their feet, Varian took in the large pink house, the man and woman dressed in white and yellow sitting on toadstools drinking tea, and it all looked a little strange. These people gave him the creeps. 

"What a delightful transpiration!" The man answered, filling another cup and holding it out to them. "Join us, for a spot of tea?" 

Varian frowned. 

"Guys, I don't trust this," he muttered. "Let's just get out of here before-" 

"Varian, you sound like Cassandra," Eugene flatly muttered. "Come on, what's the worst thing that could happen?" 

"The-the tea could be poisoned, or-" 

"These people seem nice enough, they wouldn't poison us," Lance brushed him off. "And besides, I don't know about any of you, but I am starving!" 

Varian groaned as Eugene and Hookfoot agreed and proceeded to sit at the strange toadstool table before he begrudgingly followed. The man and woman passed out cups of tea and plates of macaroons. 

"No thanks, I'm not hungry," Varian grumbled when he was passed a cup, crossing his arms when they still placed it before him. 

"Oh, my dear boy, just give it a try, it will be the most serendipitous thing you've ever tasted!" 

"Mm, she's right," Lance agreed as he took a long sip of tea. "Mm-mm-mm! This is the best tea I've ever had!" 

"Wow, this is really good stuff," Hookfoot added. 

"Varian, you have got to try this tea!" Eugene told him as Ruddiger began devouring the macaroons on his plate. 

"I said, 'I'm not hungry!'" Varian snapped. "What part of that do you not... understand..." 

Varian jumped back from the table when he realized that Eugene, Lance and Hookfoot had been replaced by, of all things, birds. 

"Ruddiger, don't touch that!" Varian shouted just before the raccoon could try the tea. "It's poisoned!" 

"Oh, please, forgive us for alarming you," the man attempted to reassure him as the others gawked at their new appearances. "Most of our drinkers are skeptical, like you. Just a little while ago, two lovely young ladies came by for a chance at our magical fanciful merriment, and while they were skeptical at first, they eventually found the beauty of it and seized the opportunity, and you should too!" 

"Magic is stupid..." Varian trailed off. 

"Two ladies?" 

"What did you do to Rapunzel and Cass?!" Eugene snapped as he struggled to flap his way up to the table. 

"They are enjoying the same opportunity that you will once you simply give it a try," the man asserted as he picked up Varian’s teacup and held it to his lips. "Come now, just one sip." The man attempted to force the tea into his mouth. 

Panicking, Varian quickly shoved the man away, spilling scalding hot tea on them both. The man yelped, his hands going to the front of his tea-soaked shirt while Varian clutched his burned throat and used the opportunity to bolt out of his reach. He sprinted as fast as his feet could possibly carry him with Ruddiger hot on his heels, on and on through the dark spooky forest, up the cliffs and past the waterfall, through the forest, over the river and back to the caravan. He crumpled to the ground upon arrival next to a breathless Ruddiger, raggedly gasping for his breath as his adrenaline wore off, revealing that his sides ached from running and his neck felt like fire. 

But he'd made it without getting poisoned, and his injuries came from a cup of tea, he'd be fine. He'd gotten hurt far worse numerous times before. As long as he kept it clean, it'd be good as new in three weeks tops. 

A disapproving snort brought his attention to Maximus and Fidella. Fidella glanced at him once before going back to munching on her grass, but Max paused, looking around for the others, then narrowed his eyes and started marching towards him.

“Woah, woah, relax!” Varian exclaimed as he scrambled backward from the angry equine bearing down on him. “They got themselves into some magical mumbo jumbo somewhere in the woods. They’ll be back eventually!” Max lowered his head until he was eye-level with him, staring deep into his soul. But Varian simply rolled his eyes as he turned his head away and sucked another deep breath through his nose.

After catching his breath, Varian went back to the river and gingerly pulled off his coat, then his vest, then his apron, then his shirt. To his relief, his coat and apron had taken the worst of it. The burns on his throat were blistered, but it wasn't too bad. It'd heal up easily. 

What really got under his skin was that he'd just burned himself because everyone refused to listen to him. If they'd heard him in the first place, then none of this would've happened. 

But he was alone now. If he and Ruddiger just packed up their things right then and there and left, they could put plenty of distance between themselves and the others while they worked out their bird problem. By the time they got out of their bind, he'd be miles away. If by sheer dumb luck they happened to find him, it'd take them days, maybe even weeks, and that was time they did not have. Varian could get out of there, find somewhere to lay low for a while and regroup before finally hatching a revenge plan once and for all. 

Revenge. Freedom. Hope. 

Ha. 

Hope and freedom were luxuries Varian could only dream of. Freedom was a lie, hope was a myth! If Varian was to ever survive, he needed to accept that. He needed to accept that he would never get the closure he once craved. When would he learn? Rapunzel would always get the better of him.

Varian glanced at Ruddiger while he dunked his tea-soaked clothes in the river, frowning. Varian was burned, Ruddiger was injured, all because of them. Even if there was no hope, leaving might've been the only way to survive. 

So what kept him there? 

What kept him from abandoning his captors and getting to safety? 

As if an answer to his question, another snort from behind blew his hair right into his face. He quickly turned his head to find himself nose-to-nose with Max’s stern muzzle. Geesh, he couldn’t even have ten seconds alone around here!

Guess that answered that then. For sun's sake, he was so pathetic. 

"What's the matter?" Varian flatly grumbled, gently pushing his muzzle away. "Did Ruddiger get into your apple stash again? You know, there's this thing called sharing. You should try it sometime." That earned him a quick swat to the face via a hoof as Maximus huffed and planted his behind on the ground next to him. Varian simply rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to his task.

He scanned each article of clothing once he pulled it out of the water. The tea was now gone. He spread his coat, shirt and apron over a rock to dry in the afternoon sunlight, put his vest over his bare shoulders, then headed into the caravan with Max poking his head inside to watch him as he bandaged his burns. He sighed as he crossed his arms and glowered back at Maximus. 

What was he supposed to do with himself while he waited for the others to sort out their bird debacle? 

He shrugged and turned to Ruddiger. 

"Come on, Buddy," he muttered, grabbing his bag. "We might as well finish fixing that wheel." Varian raised an eyebrow at the scowling horse as he walked past him. "You wouldn't happen to be strong enough to lift the caravan for me, would you Max?"

Chapter Text

Cassandra frowned as she landed on a statue next to a giddy Rapunzel. The whole flying thing was fun and all, but the lack of progress was really starting to press her! 

"Okay, Raps, are we done yet?" Cassandra flatly groaned. 

"Just a little longer," Rapunzel pleaded. "This is the most amazing-" Chirp. 

Cassandra’s head shot over to Rapunzel. Did she just hear her chirp like a bird? 

"Wait," said Rapunzel, "Did I just-" Chirp. Rapunzel gasped. 

"Yeah," Squawk. "You did!" 

Cassandra gasped. Did she just… did she just chirp too? 

"So did-" Chirp. "You!" Rapunzel exclaimed. 

"Oh no," Squawk. "We're getting bird-brained," Cassandra urgently declared. "We need to-" Squawk. "Head back." Squawk. "Now!" 

Cassandra and Rapunzel flew back to the weird pink house in the middle of the woods as fast as their wings could carry them. The man and woman were waiting just where they left them, but oddly enough, the man's shirt now had a large brown stain on it. 

"That was amazing!" Rapunzel praised them. "Thank you so much! But now," Chirp. "We'd like to be changed back." Chirp. 

"I'm sure you would, dears," the woman answered. Cassandra did not like her tone at all. 

The next thing she knew, they were surrounded by bars. 

"But it pains me to say," the woman mockingly added, "We have different desires." With that, the woman put the two eggs back on the egg platter and closed the lid. 

Oh, Cassandra knew it! She knew they couldn't trust these people from the moment she laid eyes on them! Why didn't Rapunzel listen to her?! 

Cassandra didn't have time to stew. She quickly leapt up and grabbed one of the bars to get as close to an exit as she could. 

"We-" Squawk. "Need those to change back!" Cassandra snapped. 

"I'm afraid we shan't oblige, my little chickadees," the woman answered, the both of them looking down at them with smug grins. "For you see, we don't want you to change back." 

"We want you to become the newest addition to our aviary menagerie," the man explained, gesturing to their bird tree. "Think of all this as an avian art collection, to which we're always adding new pieces." 

Just as Rapunzel gasped, Cassandra noticed the pieces of string tied to the ankles of every single bird on the display, and the way each and every one tugged at their restraints with fear in their eyes. Before Cassandra could voice her realization, Rapunzel did it for her. 

"Wait... those are all... people." 

"Indeed," the man affirmed, opening the little door and holding the mouth of a bag to the opening. "For people make the most beautiful, one-of-a-kind birds." The bag closed around them, trapping them inside. After a brief moment of panic, Cassandra realized that no matter how much she struggled, they were stuck. 

Hello, Cassandra. 

I always knew I could-

No. No. NO! Now wasn't the time for this, she was trapped in a bag about to be turned into a bird! Now wasn't the time to freak out! 

It's not enough until you endure the same amount of pain and agony I have! 

What on earth was wrong with her?! This was absolutely the wrong time to panic! She was fine! Look, Varian wasn't even there at the moment, he was back at the caravan with the men and their dumb muscle challenge, it was just her and Rapunzel! 

At that moment, Cassandra realized just how angry she was at Rapunzel. Cassandra had dropped everything at the drop of a hat for her. Cassandra had left her home, her dreams, her goals, her ambitions, her father, she left all of that behind for her. Cassandra had taken the custody of the most dangerous villain to ever threaten Corona, someone she barely knew anymore, and she did it against her own better judgment for her. Cassandra gave up everything for her, and this was the thanks she got? 

"Cass, I should've listened to you," Rapunzel murmured in an apologetic tone. "I just wanted to show you-" 

"Show me how to seize the moment?" Cass interrupted. "Here's what the moment got us!" Cassandra turned to her with a sigh. "I know you take a lot of pride in your irrepressible, carefree spirit," Cassandra muttered, "It's what makes you, you. But did you ever stop to think that maybe that attitude could be a bit selfish sometimes?" 

"I'm sorry," Rapunzel whispered, hugging herself and guiltily turning away. 

"This trail of black rocks is your destiny," Cassandra scolded her, pointing at her with one of her feathers, "But I dropped everything to make sure you get to the end of it. I'm taking this seriously! Why aren't you?" 

"Because I'm scared." 

Cassandra faltered. Scared? She was scared? Cassandra wanted to facepalm. Of course she was scared, why hadn't Cassandra considered that sooner? Honestly, what kind of a friend was she? 

"You're right, Cass," Rapunzel fearfully continued, her normally peppy voice now small and frightened. "These rocks are my destiny, and that's terrifying! What if they lead to somewhere I'm never supposed to come back from?" 

For a split second, Cassandra imagined what it'd be like if she had to take a journey to fulfill her own destiny, but had no clue what it was. If she had to go somewhere with the risk that she'd never come back. Cass would be scared too. Cassandra would want to live every remaining second she had to the fullest too! 

Cassandra made a move to comfort her, but before she could, the bag opened. 

"We're home!" The man called in a sing-song voice, lifting them out of the bag. 

"Our friends are gonna come looking for us," Rapunzel growled at the man while Cassandra struggled in his grip, "And when they do, you-" Chirp. "Are in trouble!" Despite their threat, the man shoved them inside a gold bird cage and locked the little door shut. 

"I don't think your friends are gonna be much help, Blondie," Eugene's voice warily murmured. They both turned around to see Lance as a fat house finch, Eugene as a blue jay, and Hookfoot as a pigeon. They all stared at them with big, worried, what-are-we-gonna-do-now eyes. 

"You're all birds?!" Rapunzel exclaimed. 

"Well I'm the strongest bird!" Lance announced, flexing his wings as if they were muscles, and if Cassandra had hands to throttle him with, she would. Luckily, Eugene quickly cut him off. 

"Not the time, Lance," Eugene quietly scolded. 

"Okay," Cassandra hesitantly murmured. "We... we need-" Squawk. "A plan." 

The five birds congregated around a bowl of birdseed. 

"You know, I like to think I'm the prepared type of guy," Eugene drawled, "The type of guy who's prepared for anything this crazy world throws my way, but this bird thing? I can't say I saw it coming." 

"This is-" Chirp. "All my fault," Rapunzel sadly sighed. Cassandra felt guilty. Was she too hard on her earlier? She was definitely too hard on her. 

"Her squawks are getting more frequent," Eugene quietly observed. 

"If we don't break one of those eggs over her soon," Cassandra added, "She's gonna go full bird. We all are." 

“Hey, maybe Varian will come back and help us out!” Lance offered.

“Eh, I’m not putting my money on it,” Hookfoot grumbled as Cassandra’s eyes darted around, taking inventory on everyone only to realize that Varian was missing.

“I'm just saying,” Lance muttered.

“No offense, Lance,” Eugene sighed. “But don’t you think that if Varian had rescue plans, we’d’ve seen him already?”

Why was Cassandra even surprised? Of course the villainous alchemist would take advantage of their dire strait to make his getaway. Now that was just low. Had he no morals or empathy at all?

“And you just let him run away?” Cassandra demanded.

“Hey,” Eugene retorted. “In our defense, we’re birds!”

“Guys, arguing won’t get us out of here,” Rapunzel interrupted. 

"I've got another plan!" Lance declared. "We should go over there, get the eggs, and turn us back into people!" 

"Good thinking, Lance," Eugene sarcastically drawled. "And how are we gonna get over there?" 

"Thaaaat's where the plan falls apart," Lance weakly answered. 

"I guess, if we can't bring the-" Chirp. "Eggs to the cage," Rapunzel declared with a smile, "We have to bring the cage to the eggs!" Rapunzel rose into the air and began ramming into the bars. Cassandra smiled, realizing her plan. "Do it with me!" Rapunzel called. 

Cassandra flew into the air to join Rapunzel. 

"Alright, let's go!" Eugene cheered as they all began ramming against the sides of the cage. "Flap like you've never flapped before!" 

"I have never flapped before!" Hookfoot protested, but soon the stand of the cage began rocking until the whole setup fell to the ground, smashing the glass lid and revealing the eggs.

“We did it!” Rapunzel breathlessly cheered.

“Maybe we can get out,” Eugene announced, grabbing at one of the broken bars and pulling only for nothing to happen.

“Yes, we can totally do this!” Lance added as he and Hookfoot helped him pull the bar. Together, they managed to bend the metal until there was a hole just big enough to slip out. They all triumphantly chuckled.

“You see that?” Eugene cheered. “Together, we’re unstoppable!”

“That’s right!” Lance agreed.

“You know it,” Hookfoot added.

“And it doesn’t matter who’s strongest.”

Lance and Hookfoot frowned.

“It totally matters!” Hookfoot protested.

“Oh, it most definitely does.”

“Yeah, you’re right, come on, who are we kidding?”

Before Cassandra could snap at them to focus, the couple rushed outside.

"What is the meaning of this?!" The man angrily demanded. Before Cassandra could give him some snarky retort, the woman interrupted. 

"Don't worry, Father," She declared from the toadstool table. "Allow me."

With that, the woman grabbed the tea pot and drank straight out of it, downing the entire thing in a series of huge gulps. She then slammed it down with a growl and wiped the tea from her mouth as her body began to contort and change. Her arms turned to giant white wings as she fell and disappeared behind the table, but she was quick to reappear as a massive cream-colored hawk, the biggest one Cassandra had ever seen. 

"Oh, that's not good," Eugene mumbled as the huge avian zipped towards them, and they fearfully huddled together as she landed atop the broken cage.

"Anyone planning on a premature egress will be most disappointed!" The woman growled, glaring down menacingly at the tiny birds. Thinking quickly, Cassandra turned to Eugene. 

"I'll draw the hawk away," Cassandra whispered. "You guys get those eggs."

Alas, that plan was quickly shot down, because the hawk's giant head was quick to block the exit. Luckily, Rapunzel was thinking just as quickly, because one yank on her tail feathers and Cassandra was soaring through the sky with a giant hawk pursuing her.

"Oh, my dear girl," the woman loftily snarled. "You haven't a chance!"

For a giant, fat bird, the hawk was surprisingly fast. Cassandra found herself barely evading her huge, chomping beak. Nevertheless, while this was most certainly the strangest chase she'd ever been caught in, it was also… admittedly… kinda fun. And it turned out that being the smaller one had its advantages, because she easily slipped through a set of tree branches that caught the larger hawk right in its clutches. No, this bird stuff actually wasn’t half bad!

Unfortunately, her little trick didn’t last long. One minute she was rising into the sky, and the next minute the hawk had tackled her in the air and pinned her to the toadstool table. But unbeknownst to the hawk, Cassandra had one more trick up her sleeve.

The woman grumbled as Cassandra tossed one of Owl’s beans at her, juggling it between her wings before catching it between two feathers.

“Is that all you’ve got?” the woman sneered, smirking when Cassandra whistled. This left her completely blindsided when Owl swooped in, knocking her aside. One more headbutt from the nocturnal bird-of-prey and the woman lay sprawled on the ground in a daze.

“Ha ha! We did it!” Cassandra cheered as she landed on a branch next to Owl. “We beat her!” She then exchanged a high five with her companion, and that felt weird, but it felt good.  

Cassandra let out one more joyous whoop as she soared around the clearing before returning to Rapunzel.

“Raps, I take it all back!” Cassandra breathlessly told her best friend. “That was-”

The next thing she knew, there was a flash of light and a puff of blue smoke, and she was towering above the porch she’d just landed on, back in her human form.

“Oh, okay, oka-okay, that was abrupt,” Cass stammered as she adjusted to what had just happened. “But let’s turn you back now. Alright, where’s an egg?” 

Cassandra bent down and reached into the basket only to feel nothing inside, and when she picked it up to examine it, she found it empty.

“There’s another egg, right?” Cassandra nervously chuckled, wilting when she noticed the sad, grieved expression on Rapunzel’s tiny bird face as she shook her head. “You used the last egg on me?” Cassandra asked in disbelief, her breath hitching when Rapunzel nodded.

“No, but that means you can’t-” Cassandra gasped before she could finish that sentence.

“No,” she breathed as she dropped to her knees and frantically searched the broken egg fragments around her, but Rapunzel was right. There were no eggs left. Cassandra hurled the empty basket across the porch before holding her hands out for Rapunzel to delicately land on.

“Oh, Raps, you’re my best friend,” Cassandra whispered, her voice trembling and lip quivering as tears pressed at her eyes. “Please, don’t leave me,” she softly choked out, resting her forehead against Rapunzel’s soft feathers and feeling her little head nuzzle her in comfort.

When Cass lowered Rapunzel to look at her again, her eyes disappeared, replaced by round, coal black unfeeling eyes. Every trace of the free-spirited Rapunzel she knew and loved, gone just like that. Cassandra couldn't help herself. She couldn't stop the tears that began rolling down her cheeks.

She distantly registered how her heart started to pound, her breath growing short and erratic, when she found herself no longer looking at bird-Rapunzel.

Eugene shoved open the doors to the vault. The sight within was certainly a shock. Varian stood between them and Rapunzel, his face stern and stone cold, his hair wild and his eyes glaring at them with acidic hate. One look at Rapunzel’s heartbroken gaze, with eyes as wide as dinner plates, told Cassandra that Varian had gotten what he wanted. The sight of him sent chills down her spine. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting when she realized what he was up to, but for whatever reason, a large part of her was expecting the wide-eyed, smiling, innocent, goofy kid she’d befriended at the expo. But that endearing light was gone, just the tiniest little shimmer of it left, which quickly snuffed out when Eugene yelled at the guards to get him. His head turned to Rapunzel, then back to them, his lips parting in a wide grimace.

Before Cassandra knew what was happening, Varian sprang into action, throwing something at his feet. An oppressive, thick, fuchsia smoke quickly overwhelmed her and dropped her to the ground. By the time she regained her senses and got to her feet, Rapunzel was coughing and wheezing in Eugene’s arms and Varian was gone. 

She glanced Rapunzel over as Eugene whispered something in her ear, to which Rapunzel attempted to stammer out a response before bursting into tears and sobbing into Eugene’s shoulder. While Eugene held her and whispered quiet reassurances, Cassandra took in her messy, tangled braid, the dust and dirt covering her skin and clothes, the way her hands trembled and her chest heaved as her keening wails echoed around the chamber. The grime that covered her told Cassandra that the mission had been dangerous, that she could’ve been seriously harmed or even killed. And that made her angry. It made her so angry! Varian could’ve taken away her best friend forever!

Then she found herself surrounded by dark lavender smoke on that fateful night. As she held her sword at the ready, paying careful attention for whatever special thing Varian had cooked up. But that attention was stolen when her father’s pained scream filled the night sky and he landed next to her with a loud groan. 

Cassandra first felt panic. Was he dead? No no no, he couldn’t be! She couldn’t lose him! He was the only father she’d ever known!

Then when he started talking, all she felt was relief. She quickly scooped him up into a hug and apologized for the mean things she’d said earlier. When his hand lovingly patted her back, her relief turned to rage.

How could Varian do such a thing?! Her father didn’t do anything to him! How dare he treat her father like this!

Back then, Cassandra channeled that anger into the things she did best. She stood up and started barking orders at the guards, fighting to get the attack under control. Then she fervently agreed to take her father’s place as leader of the assault and whipped those men right into shape and led them into battle. She’d be darned if she’d let Varian threaten anyone else she loved!

And now someone she loved was gone. It was real this time.

As Cassandra wiped the tears away, she suddenly saw RED.

She stood up, placing bird-Rapunzel on the handle of the basket she’d thrown before marching towards the man. Her shoulders trembled. Her stomach pooled with angry nausea. Her heart sped at a rabbit’s pace, her breath becoming more and more spastic and short. Her eyes tunneled in on that man, and she would stop at nothing to get another egg from him!

“Where are the eggs?!” Cassandra nearly screamed at him. “Give me another egg!”

“B-but there are no more!” The bound man blurted out. Cassandra roared, quickly acquainted her fist with his nose and earned a loud crunch.

“WRONG ANSWER! GIVE ME ANOTHER EGG!!”

“I promise there are no more eggs!” The man pleaded with her, blood trickling from his broken nose. Cassandra reared back her foot and kicked him in the gut, sending him sprawling onto his side.

“I’ll use this!” Cassandra barked at him as she whipped out her sword and pointed it at his throat. “I’ll slice you in half!” She then raised it above her head, preparing to do just that. “Now this is your last chance! WHERE ARE THE EGGS?!!?!??”

“You used them all up! Please, I swear, there are no more eggs!” The man practically begged her. “Please, have mercy!”

“AAARGH!” Cassandra screamed as she brought down her sword.

But instead of slicing the man in half, her sword tip smashed the tea pot that started all of this.

“No!” The man gasped in horror while Cassandra panted. “I’ll never be able to make my tea again!”

And just like that, his body glowed blue and poofed out of existence.

“That’s what I was counting on,” Cassandra snarled, turning back to go be with Rapunzel and, for the most part, ignoring everything else as it disappeared around her. She picked up the little bird with shaking hands, a few tears rolling down her cheeks. How had it come to this? All that work trying to keep her best friend safe only to lose to a stupid-

"Why so glum, chum?" Shorty’s voice drifted up to her. Cassandra turned her head to see a fat white peacock waddle up to her, lay a bright blue egg, and start waddling off.

Cassandra’s eyes zeroed in on the egg. She quickly snatched it up, deposited Rapunzel on the ground and held the egg above her head.

"Please work, please work, please work…"

Cassandra cracked the egg above Rapunzel's head, and just like that, her best friend was back.

"RAPS!" Cassandra cheered, twirling Rapunzel through the air before hugging her tight.

"Oof!" Rapunzel chuckled in her grip. "And I thought I was the one who gave the bear hugs-" 

Her voice grew serious when Cassandra sniffled and hugged her tighter.

“Woah, hey, Cassandra, it’s okay,” Rapunzel murmured, hugging her back just as tight. “I’m okay, Cass, I’m right here, it’s okay…”

Rapunzel stayed like that for a while, whispering different reassurances to her until her heart stopped pounding and her breathing steadied.

“Ugh,” Rapunzel groaned. "Am I the only one craving worms?"

Cassandra chuckled as she released her.

"Now," Rapunzel announced. "What do you guys say we get out of here and get that caravan fixed?"

"You said it," Hookfoot grumbled. "If I never see a bird again, it'll be too soon!"

“By the way,” Eugene sighed as they turned to leave. “How are we gonna find Varian? He’s been gone for over an hour!”

And there was that reminder to put a damper on things.

“Where did you last see him?” Cassandra grumbled.

“He ran right back where he came from!” Hookfoot answered. “He was gone just as soon as we’d been shrunk into birds!”

Cass rolled her eyes and whistled for Owl. Owl hooted as he flew through the sky and went off in search of Varian. 

"Alright, guys," Cassandra muttered, "Once Owl finds him, we'll go get him. We just have to get to the caravan."

It took about an hour to make the trek back.

"Alright people, no time for sightseeing, let's get back to the caravan and fix it so we can go find Varian," Cassandra matter-of-factly ordered, pulling people over the bridge and towards the caravan. “Let’s go, let’s go, one two, one two…”

Her words trailed off as they found the caravan. Varian leaned against it with his arms crossed, Ruddiger sitting on one shoulder and swinging his tail back and forth like an agitated cat while Max glowered at him from a few paces away. The wheel of the caravan was back on the axel, good as new.

"Are you done drinking tea from random strangers?" Varian grumbled.

"Why didn't you do something about the bird people?" Cassandra demanded. "We could've been bird-brained forever!"

"What was I supposed to do, huh?" Varian snapped. "I'm just one person! Besides, you got out just fine, it's not a big deal. Now, I fixed the wheel. Shouldn't we be going now? Unless, of course, you have another tea party to attend."

Cassandra opened her mouth to order him to cut out the attitude, but Rapunzel and Eugene pushed past her. 

"Yeah, guys, we really have to get going," Rapunzel stated. 

"Oh, yeah, uh-huh, you know, of course," Eugene nonchalantly answered. 

"Yeah, I think we should hit the road," Lance added.

Cassandra glared at Varian as the others headed back inside. Varian raised a single eyebrow at her as he pushed himself off the caravan and turned to follow. Cassandra’s heart raced like a frightened deer sprinting away from a hunter as she stalked up to him, grabbed his arm, and pinned him to the wall of the caravan with it. Varian sucked in a sharp breath and leveled a steely scowl back.

Hello, Cassandra.

Cassandra quickly blinked to shut that out and focused on the current source of her ire.

"We all could've become total birds, and you didn't care?" Cassandra hissed. "We were locked in a cage! And all you cared about was yourself."

"Cassandra, you made it out just fine," Varian answered. "It's not that big of a deal. Besides, are you really expecting me to care? You're practically holding me hostage!"

Cassandra narrowed her eyes as something painful shot through her chest, squeezing his arm harder and ignoring the way he grimaced.

"I'm beginning to think I was wrong about you," Cass bit out. "You really are hopeless!" With that, she shoved him towards the door by his arm. "Hurry up and get in," she angrily ordered. After stumbling forward, Varian quickly regained his balance, shot her a dirty look over his shoulder, then climbed inside the caravan. Cassandra smoothed her clothes and sucked in a deep breath to calm the hard racing of her heart, to remember how she was supposed to breathe past the knot in her throat and the weight in her lungs as she stared at the ground with a mix of sadness and anger.

It was time to accept the awful truth. 

Varian was gone. There was no hope for him. He wasn't ever coming back, he'd changed for good. This shell, whoever he was, was a selfish jerk, and it disgusted her.

As far as Cassandra was concerned, her friend was dead. It was time for her to give up on him.

So give up, she did.

Cassandra took a deep breath, regaining her composure, then headed towards the front seat and sat next to Rapunzel. 

"Listen Raps," Cass murmured. Rapunzel turned to her.

"What you said before about being afraid?" She continued. "It's okay. I'd be afraid too. But I want you to remember that no matter what you'll have to face at the end of this road, you're not going to face it alone."

Rapunzel smiled. 

"Thanks, Cass," she answered, squeezing her shoulder. "Really."

With that, they took off, riding into the sunset. Just as the caravan disappeared beyond the horizon, Cassandra piped up one last time.

“By the way, Raps, we need to have a chat about stranger danger.”

Chapter Text

Eugene whistled as he combed his hair out of his face and applied his favorite hair gel during his morning watch shift. He gave a little extra attention to a stubborn lock of hair towards the side of his head, finally managing to tame it, then pulled out his razor and began to trim his goatee. He cast a quick glance at Varian, who had a weird black stain on his shirt and was pulling a small blue orb from his bag. Eugene's attention returned to his goatee as Varian removed his shirt, which suddenly became engulfed in thick blue smoke. 

Eugene slowed with a frown. The kid's eating habits had been improving to the point that he ate something at every meal, but he was still all skin and bones. He had a long, raised white scar starting over his left shoulder by his neck and ending in the small of his back just below his shoulder blades, and another long scar traced across his back, starting a few inches below his left armpit and ending just above his right hip. A crescent shaped scar peeked out from just below his hairline behind his ear, and another set of four scratch scars were on his lower side. A final small collection of scars across his left upper arm drew Eugene’s attention to something rather strange. 

His arms had a few weird rings around them. Upon closer inspection, they appeared to be bruises. 

But Eugene hadn't seen him do anything that would leave bruises like that. Scars were one thing, but bruises without an explanation were another thing entirely.

"What happened to your arms?" Eugene quietly asked. Varian’s breath hitched as he quickly pulled his shirt back on. 

"I'm fine, Eugene," Varian bit out as he carefully covered the bruises with his sleeves. 

"Varian-" 

"I said, 'I'm fine!'" Varian snapped. Eugene frowned, watching him inspect his now stain-free shirt before putting on his gloves and apron. Then he watched him move to his vest and shrugged. He was clumsy, after all, he was probably just fine. 

Later, Eugene cooked breakfast with Rapunzel. 

"Blondie, it's been a while since we've gone on a date," he murmured. "Too long." 

"Hm," Rapunzel smiled, "Is that a suggestion?" 

"It most certainly is," Eugene answered, "And yours truly is gonna plan one for you." 

Rapunzel leaned over and kissed his cheek over the pot of porridge. 

"Well, that sounds exciting!" Rapunzel declared. They turned as everyone else came out of the caravan. 

"Morning, everyone!" Eugene called. "We've got breakfast!" 

Rapunzel and Eugene passed out bowls of the porridge, and everyone sat around the campfire, chatting and laughing. Eugene had been so right, today was a perfect day for a date. 

"Alright, guys!" Eugene announced. "Blondie and I will take care of the dishes, Cass and Varian, why don't you clean up, and Lance and Hookfoot-" 

"Can I please work with someone else?" Varian bitterly spit out. Eugene paused and glanced at him. Varian's eyes were glued to his boots, his arms wrapped protectively around himself. Ruddiger was perched on his shoulders, his claws clamped on his shirt, his striped tail wrapped protectively around his neck and his fur bristled. 

"Uh, why?" Eugene asked. Varian slowly lifted his head and shot a withering glare at Cassandra. At the same time, Ruddiger bared his teeth and hissed at her, curling tighter around Varian. 

"She's mean," Varian simply mumbled. 

"Yeah, well, she's a cold-blooded, dead-eyed bird of prey," Eugene flatly answered, earning a nut in the face from said cold-blooded, dead-eyed bird of prey. "She's mean to everyone, you'll be fine." 

Varian visibly deflated, but said nothing further. 

"Lance, Hookfoot, Shorty, you guys gather supplies. Rapunzel and I are going on a date," Eugene continued. 

"No offense, Princess, but are you sure you want to go on a date with Eugene today?" Lance cheekily asked as he shot Eugene a cat-eating grin. "His goatee is looking a little unkempt." 

Eugene glared at his best friend. 

"Thank you, Lance, but I trimmed it this morning," Eugene grumbled. "Moving on, we'll see you guys later." 

After washing the dishes, Eugene and Rapunzel set off across the countryside on Maximus and Fidella. 

"I am so excited to see what you have planned for our date," Rapunzel cheerily murmured. 

"Don't you worry, your Royal Blondeness," Eugene romantically answered. "Eugene’s got it covered. I've entrusted Max here to seek out and deliver us to the most primo romantic spot around, you'll see." Eugene climbed down as Max grinned wider than any horse should be capable of and nickered in approval. Then he gently lifted Rapunzel from Fidella's back and twirled her around before hugging her close. By the Sun, he had to be the luckiest man alive. 

"We're talking dinner for two," Eugene promised her, "The stars twinkling above, the works! Now, I'm not saying it'll top our crown-stealing lantern-watching first date, but," he flashed her a dazzling, charming grin, "I kinda am." Eugene glanced back at Max. "Isn't that right, Buddy?"

Max simply smiled and winked reassuringly at him. But it turned out that asking a horse for help planning a date was, admittedly, not the brightest idea Eugene had ever had.

"An apple tree!?" Eugene protested in a whisper as Rapunzel stood on his shoulders and picked a few of the bright red fruits. "Seriously?! That's the best you got? You've been spending too much time with the cat, haven't you?" Max frowned, as if repulsed by the very idea of spending time with Varian's pet, and Eugene groaned, rolling his eyes. "Should've asked the frog to come along," he grumbled. "Even he'd come up with something better than this!"

"It's okay, Eugene," Rapunzel warmly soothed him as she dropped down with a basket of apples in hand. "Planning a date is hard when you're in the middle of nowhere. We can just… play it by ear!"

"Well," Eugene agreed, "Anything is better than the horse plan."

At that moment, the strangest tinkling noise reached their ears. Was that… wind chimes?

"Did you hear that?" Rapunzel asked. 

"You mean those out-of-place mystical chimes in the middle of the forest?" Eugene clarified. "Yeah."

A brief investigation where they followed the sound through the woods led them to one of the strangest little red wagons he'd ever laid eyes on. It had a weird curved roof and teal wheels and was tied down with purple ribbon. A blue sign was on display, standing tall before a very unsteady looking set of steps leading inside. Something about this was a bit fishy to Eugene. And after all the wacky things the group as a whole had experienced? Retired sheriffs who could control a swarm of bees? Forests that changed positions without warning? Deadly spider bats? Giant furry sneeze weasels? Getting forced to marry his ex? Turning into a literal bird less than a week ago? Eugene didn’t trust it.

"Vigor the Visionary," Rapunzel read aloud as they approached it. "Seer and knower of all." Rapunzel gasped in delight. “Wow,” she breathed. “A real psychic!”

Okay, this sealed the deal, Eugene didn’t trust this at all! He’d come across plenty of psychics in his day and they were all sleazy, underhanded, fly-by-night, dubious hucksters who’d tricked him and Lance more times than either of them cared to admit. Eugene used to feel a little guilty for having such strong feelings for psychics when he himself made a living off of lying, cheating and stealing, but he couldn’t help it! Why anyone would believe in this mumbo jumbo was beyond him and he was quick to let Rapunzel know!

“Excuse me?” Eugene skeptically protested. “A real psychic?” Eugene let out a laugh. “Oh no no no, there’s no such-”

A craggy old woman’s voice cleared her throat right next to them, and when Eugene turned to the source, a short woman was standing right next to them!

“Holy quiet shoes!” Eugene yelped as he jumped away, tripping over a rock and landing hard on his rear end.

“Greetings, travelers,” the woman greeted with a sly smile and a thick accent as she walked in between them like Eugene hadn’t been jump-scared just now. She was certainly on the older side, dark-haired and wrinkled and stout. She was dressed in a red headscarf, a white blouse and a long blue skirt with large earrings and gold bangles around both wrists.

“My name is Madame Canardist,” the woman introduced herself as Eugene stood up and brushed himself off, “And inside this wagon is the world-famous clairvoyant: Vigor the Visionary! He has predicted the fates of emperors, the future of pharaohs, the destinies of dynasties, even! And he is offering a once-in-a-lifetime special: one fortune for a mere five silver pieces!”

No no no no. Everything about this screamed “scam,” even her name sounded a lot like the word, “con-artist” and Eugene wasn’t gonna-

“Eugene, did you hear that?!” Rapunzel excitedly asked as she began to nudge him into the wagon. “Emperors and pharaohs!? Okay! Well, uh, add ‘princess' to that list!”

“Uh, Blondie?” Eugene whispered as they walked through the door, because it was unfortunately too late to convince Rapunzel otherwise. “You don’t actually believe in this ‘psychic’ business, do you?”

“Well,” Rapunzel answered, “I don’t know if it’s real, but what if it is? It’s kinda fun to believe in stuff like this.”

Eugene jumped again when the door slammed shut behind them as if to mock Rapunzel, but before he could start investigating what kind of twisted trap this was, Madame Canardist stepped between them and held out a bag for payment.

“Silver,” she demanded with another smile that was way too cunning for his liking. “His omniscience requires five pieces of silver.” Rapunzel dropped five silver pieces into her bag, and with that, the elderly woman shoved her way between them and hurried towards a curtained doorway. Eugene shot Rapunzel a suspicious frown, and she flashed him a reassuring grin and wrapped her hands around his arm, pulling him along to follow.

“Prepare to be astonished,” Madame Con-artist dramatically proclaimed. “He’s telekinetic! He’s telepathic! And he’ll tell you the future!”

Eugene couldn’t help himself.

“Oh man,” Eugene groaned, rolling his eyes and face-palming, but before he could say anything else, Rapunzel jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow.

“Please welcome the world’s most prophetic prognosticator,” Canardist declared as she swept the beaded curtain aside. “Vigor the Visionary!!!”

Eugene wasn’t exactly sure what he'd expected when he was led into a dark room with a glowing blue ball, but when Madame Canardist hit the tiny gong and the candles were lit, the little simian with the giant turban wasn’t it.

“He’s a monkey!”

Chapter Text

Cassandra frowned deeply as she and Varian cleaned up the campsite in silence. 

She's mean? The nerve of him! Sure, she could be a little cold sometimes, but how could he call her mean after everything he put Corona through?! What a lousy, pathetic, hypocritical-

"Cass, I don't feel so good," Varian mumbled. "Can I please be done?" 

"Come on, quit making excuses," Cassandra grumbled, not even bothering to look at him. "I don't care if you like me or not, you're just gonna have to deal with it. Let's get this done." 

Cassandra didn't have to look at him to feel the dirty glare he gave her, but whatever. Criminal scum like himself always hated the guards, and there was nothing she could do about it. 

"Guys, have you seen my-" Lance's voice trailed off. 

"Whoa, Varian, you feeling okay?" Lance asked. "You're as white as a sheet!" 

Cassandra finally turned and glanced at Varian as Lance hurried over. Varian’s face was indeed pale, in fact, he looked a little green. Lance quickly felt his forehead, humming. 

"You're feverish," he declared. "What’s going on, Little Man?" 

"I'm just a little sic-" 

Varian’s voice was suddenly choked off when he grabbed his gut with a wide, uncomfortable grimace, then dropped to his knees and threw up all over the grass. Cassandra groaned. Great. Perfect timing for Varian to get sick! Now she was gonna have to finish cleaning up by herself and clean up his mess. When he was finished, he slowly looked up at the both of them, his entire body shivering and his eyes red and watering in stark contrast to his pale, sickly pallor. 

"Can I please be done?" He hoarsely hissed. 

“Why are you even asking?” Lance scoffed. “You’re done! You need to go inside and get some rest!”

Cassandra rolled her eyes as Varian stood and trudged into the caravan, Lance at his heels. Whatever. She didn’t need to be cleaning up any more of his barf than she had to. Her gaze fell on a certain raccoon who sat in the grass a few paces away. If looks could kill, the look on the raccoon's face would be lethal. 

"What?" Cassandra asked him. Ruddiger hissed at her, his fur bristling. Cassandra shrugged him off. 

"Hiss all you like," she muttered. "I couldn't care less." With that, she turned her attention away from him and knelt down to clean up the vomit. 

"Stupid Varian, stupid raccoon, stupid sickness, stupid!" She grumbled under her breath. She prided herself in having a strong stomach, but that didn't mean this was pleasant, especially coming from such a vile piece of scum. Ruddiger hissed at her again, probably because she just called Varian stupid, Cassandra had to guess, but the raccoon made no further protests and headed inside. 

Cassandra frowned as she turned back to her work. 

Hello, Cassandra. 

Cassandra choked on the breath she'd inhaled, coughing and gagging as she quickly blocked out that horrible voice. When she caught her breath, she shot a sharp glare at the caravan. 

She'd been around him for far too long. No wonder she was in an awful mood. She needed a break. 

Once the mess was cleaned up and the campsite clean and tidy, Cass whistled for Owl, feeding him a bean and trekking into the woods with Owl flying overhead. She whistled some nameless tune as she scouted the path the rocks led them towards. The warm sunshine bathed her in its light, and the fresh air felt good. She was so right, a break from the alchemist was exactly what she needed. By the King’s Silk Pajamas, it was impossible to avoid the kid with the lifestyle they lived, and it was suffocating. He was always there, always in her presence with those cold blue hateful eyes and that dark, acidic, hateful voice that hovered over the back of her mind like a ghostly shadow. Even when she couldn't physically see him, he was always nearby, there was no escaping him. And she just needed to breathe.

So she closed her eyes and breathed deeply, feeling the sun on her face and the wind tousling her jet black curls. In through the nose, out through the mouth. She felt better already. She felt free, like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders and she could fly.

Unfortunately, that didn't last very long.

Cassandra was getting hungry, and she'd recognized a nearby bush with edible berries that were tart and bitter, just how she liked them. So she went to pick some, but she didn't notice the fungus growing in the leaves until her hands brushed through them, releasing their powdery spores directly into her face. She stumbled back as she coughed on the foul substance, her breath scraping against her throat…

Cassandra gasped in relief as the pressure around her chest finally eased and the cool air rushed into her lungs. Her throat burned and her sides screamed with every breath, but by the Sun, she could breathe! And for what felt like forever, all she knew was to breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. 

As the cotton in her head began to fade away, she began to feel the ground beneath her rumble and hear a mechanical groan. The dark fog cleared from her vision as she lifted her head. The rocks were going wild, glowing as they moved with reckless abandon, and as she looked at Rapunzel, she had her hands wrapped around two rock croppings, her hair shining in all its glory as she narrowed her eyes in determination. 

The ground shook as Varian’s machine rose to its feet and charged towards Rapunzel, and she could tell by his speed that Varian was going for the kill.

"N-no!" Cassandra wheezed as she tried to push herself up onto an elbow. "No! R-RAPUNZEL!!" Sharp pain shot through her chest and she dropped back to the ground as she hugged her ribs. She tried to get up, tried to protect her best friend, but the sheer agony kept her pinned to the ground. She was worthless, couldn't protect Rapunzel, couldn't protect her people-

No!

No, this outing was so Cassandra could take a break. Cass was not gonna let that little brat ruin this for her! So she left the offending bush behind and walked along the path the rocks were leading them towards while sipping her water from her canteen. The path seemed clear, albeit with a lot of vines, but nothing a few slices of her sword couldn't handle. 

Cassandra pulled out her weapon and cut some vines out of the path, musing that she might as well take care of them now. A few of them were harder to get than others, but with a few cuts, they were gone. Cass smiled as she worked her way through them, throwing a few flairs into her work as she cleared the path, and for a split second, she was enjoying herself. 

So much so that she didn't notice the vine around her ankle until she'd cut the last cluster down. 

Cassandra shrieked as the vines dragged her over the cliff, cursing as she bumped around the rocks and got more and more tangled in the residual vines until the vines stopped her fall. She grunted as she tried to reach for her sword only to realize she'd dropped it on the cliff top. So she tried to reach for the dagger she kept on her ankle, but her foot was ensnared. No matter. If she could just squeeze her way to the knife on her hip, she'd be fine. 

But Cassandra began to realize that the more she struggled to move, the tighter the vines constricted around her. 

Hello, Cassandra. I always knew I could sweep you off your feet! 

"Focus, Cass, focus!" Cassandra grunted. She kept fighting to grab her knife and free herself, but the vines were starting to squeeze. 

Let her go, Varian! 

Mom! 

"No." Cassandra wheezed, desperately reaching for her blade. "No!" 

The vines began flashing to that metal hand, the hand squeezing the life out of her. 

That's enough, Varian. 

Cassandra could see the rage in Rapunzel's eyes as she stared her captor down. 

It's not enough until you endure the same amount of pain and agony I have! 

Suddenly the claw groaned and creaked as it began crushing her with bruising force. She tried to scream but she couldn't breathe. She tried to fight to stay alive but she couldn't move. All she could do was listen to the creak, creak, grooaaannn as the claw clamped tighter, tighter, tighter, sending pain through her body with every movement.

No, she tried to croak out, No, stop it, no, no, please, but though her lips formed the words, she couldn’t make a sound. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move, could hardly even think as cotton filled her head with pressure, pressure, pressure and dark spots danced across her graying vision.

Am I going to die? The instant that terrifying thought shot through her head, panic began to spark up and down her heavy, pinned limbs, through her useless lungs, and around her fuzzy head. She’d never truly known the fear of death until that moment, and now that it had her in it’s grip, all she knew as her vision began to darken was I’m gonna die, I’m gonna die, I’m gonna die, please, I don’t wanna die-

A familiar hoot interrupted her thoughts, a pecking sensation stabbing at her. Cassandra became aware of Owl's presence as he pecked through her vines, freeing her just enough to reach her knife and cut herself free. She let out a colorful string of curses as she crashed to the ground, her heart pounding in her chest as she panted. She shook her head and pushed herself to her feet. 

It wasn't happening anymore. She was fine! It didn't bother her, it didn't bother her! She refused to allow that disgusting piece of crap to bring her down or control her like this! She refused to allow him to hurt her anymore! She was the one in control! It wasn't happening anymore! She was bigger than him, stronger than him, faster than him! She wasn't helpless, she could protect herself now! She was the one with the power! 

Cassandra turned her glare in the direction of the caravan. 

In fact, she was gonna go prove it. It was time to stop running. 

Chapter Text

Varian pulled his blanket tighter around himself as an incessant shivering ran down his spine. He hugged his knees to his chest in an attempt to curb the nausea while listening to Lance and Hookfoot trade off the guard shift, Lance muttering something about going out to find berries to go with dinner. His head was throbbing and fuzzy, his body aching and sore, and oof, he felt like he was ready to hurl up last week’s lunch! He had no idea what kind of sickness he'd come down with, but he was even more miserable than before. All he knew was that he missed home. He missed his father. 

It was always a rare occurrence for Varian to get this sickly back at home. Sure, every now and then he'd get a minor case of the sniffles, and there was that one time he got a mild case of the flu, but it was rare that he got really sick. When it did happen, his father was worried, of course, but he always seemed to have lots of other things to do. Things far more important than holding his hand while he suffered. Still, his father was actually interested in him. He'd check up on him a few times a day and bring him a soup he'd made himself, the kind that never tasted quite right but you ate it anyway because it meant the world that he took the time to make it. Varian wanted a bowl of it more than anything. He wanted to go home and see his dad more than anything he'd ever wanted in his life. 

But no, his dad was gone, and he didn't have the choice to go home. That was all wishful thinking, and Varian was done living in denial. 

The only problem was that his logic did nothing against the ache in his chest for home. It couldn't make him stop yearning for his father's warm arms or his calm, stoic voice. It couldn't change the fact that he just wanted to curl up in his own bed in a familiar room. He just wanted to wake up at home and learn that this was all a horrible dream. 

He just missed home so much. He missed it more and more every day, until today he’d woken up missing it so badly that he was nauseous, and it had only gotten worse until he was throwing up all over the grass and being sent to bed. And, well, here he was.

The door banged open. Varian didn’t even have to look at her to know who it was, the way Ruddiger jumped up, placed himself protectively at his back and fiercely hissed told him everything he needed to know. A mix of nervousness and frustration swirled up in his chest, sucking the breath from him as his heart began to flutter with irritated dread.

What did Cassandra want now?! 

"Come on, break's over," Cassandra ordered, her boots lightly thumping on the floor as she crossed the room. "Let's get to work." 

Varian tried his best not to throw up again as he turned his head just enough to look at her. A threatening snarl ripped from Ruddiger's throat as Cassandra approached with her hands on her hips. 

"Cass, I still don't feel good," he moaned. "Can I just rest a little while longer?" 

"Stop with the excuses, Varian, you're not getting out of this." 

Excuses... excuses?! Varian was throwing up every half-hour or better and according to Lance, his fever was skyrocketing, and Cassandra was gonna call this an excuse? Varian was sick as a dog! 

Cassandra reached for him, and Varian’s heart began to race as he braced for it. Ruddiger quickly lunged at her, but Cassandra deftly avoided his attack and pulled his blanket away. 

"Let's go, you little con-artist!" She hissed. 

"Cass," Varian hoarsely pleaded with her, ignoring the sting of her accusation. "Cassie, please!" 

He had to suppress the urge to roll his eyes. How sick was he, if he was actually begging Cassandra for mercy! 

Cassandra grabbed his arm and used it to yank him to his feet. She then used it to shove him towards the door. Varian stumbled forward, quickly catching himself on the door frame, but not fast enough to keep his cheek from scraping against something sharp. 

"Let's go!"

His hunched shoulders shook as he pushed himself up and shot a glare over his shoulder. Oh, was he tired of her doing that! But the one time he'd tried to defend himself when she laid her hands on him like that…

Well…

Put that concoction away, Kid, or I'll make you regret the day you learned that alchemy exists!

Varian blinked hard to avoid thinking about the sting of her palm against his cheek. Fighting back just…didn't go so well. She was twice as strong and agile as him, and that was without him being sick!

"Let's go!" Cassandra impatiently repeated. "Today!"

The last thing Varian wanted to do, as sick as he was, was to face Cassandra’s wrath. 

He closed his eyes and put one foot in front of the other until he was out of the caravan. He forced himself not to vomit as the pair did the chores, fixed up the caravan, and got all the work done. He channeled his anger into his work as he pounded on a bunch of loose nails on the caravan under Cassandra’s watchful eye. 

What part about him puking his guts out made him a liar? Was Cassandra crazy?! And sure, that was one of the nicer things she'd called him behind closed doors. In fact, she'd called him unspeakable names before and said horrible, sometimes vulgar things to him that he couldn't dream of repeating, things that made his face flaming hot and his insides curdle with shame. But it didn't make it hurt any less to be called a con-artist, his suffering was very real, thank you very much!

And to think that he once had a crush on her! To think that he gave up everything at that expo to help her and just forgave her for breaking her end of the deal! Back then, it was because he thought she was his friend, but real friends don't leave their friends to die. Real friends don't lead attack mobs to your house. Real friends don't say the things Cassandra regularly told him or shove them into door frames. How had Varian been so stupid? 

And why couldn't anyone else see how Cassandra was treating him? He tried to tell Eugene earlier, and Eugene just dismissed him! Cassandra had shoved him in front of Hookfoot, Varian cut his cheek in the blow, and Hookfoot just ignored it! And Varian couldn't complain too much, after all, this was how he imagined all prisoners were treated, the guards had been a bit rough with him during his arrest and through his trial, but if people thought that they wanted to help him, then why couldn't they hear him? How could they just neglect him like this? 

Varian couldn't really blame anyone for disliking him. Heck, he disliked him! He understood that he was not one of them, in fact, he preferred it. He wasn't their friend and they weren't his friends, they were his enemies. But he still felt so alienated and alone in this! How he wished he could just escape the pain and go home and see Dad. He just wanted his Dad!

When Varian was finished with his work, he wasted no time getting back inside. He sat on the side of his bed, his hands shaking as he struggled with every bit of will he possessed not to throw up. His head was just pounding now, his stomach churning and his muscles even more sore than before. He flinched as he brushed his hand against the scrape on his face, grimacing as it smarted, and dug a vial he'd labeled as healing serum from his bag. He'd made it as a pain reliever for cuts and scrapes a long time ago and carried it everywhere with him. He dabbed a little bit on a rag and held it to his cut, humming in relief when it took the edge off. If only it could help him get over his stomach bug! 

His heart fluttered as he glanced at his sleeves. If only it could help with the handprint-shaped bruises hidden beneath them too. Then maybe it wouldn't hurt so bad every time Cassandra grabbed them. But he never could figure out how to heal bruises, so he guessed he was stuck. 

He winced when he lifted his sleeves to examine his arms, and just as he suspected, there was another ring of them encasing his biceps. Cassandra really had a tight grip, he doubted she even knew they were there. 

But what was he supposed to do? It wasn't like anyone cared. 

Ruddiger scurried over to his side and sniffed at the green and brown rings on his skin, hissing worriedly at him. Varian could only frown dejectedly as he shivered, then tugged his sleeves into place before anyone else could see. He pulled on his coat and curled up in bed with his back to Lance as he came in the doorway and tried, again, to get some rest with Ruddiger in his arms. 

Chapter Text

Rapunzel and Eugene quickly kicked open the door to the cottage where they’d left Angry and Red and prepared for a fight. After those awful thieves had trapped their friends and thrown her and her boyfriend into a pit of snakes, Rapunzel’s frying pan was burning a hole in her bag and was itching to be acquainted with their faces!

“You let those little girls-”

Eugene choked off and Rapunzel faltered, because they’d expected to see these Daylight Thieves doing something horrible to the young sisters. Instead, both large, muscular adults lay tied up on the floor, groaning in frustration at their own defeat.

“Go?” Eugene finished as Red popped into view and sat on their backs as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

“Man, I love these girls!” Eugene cheered, but Rapunzel didn’t quite share the sentiment. If Red was here, then where was-

Rapunzel ran to Red and knelt at her eye level, heart clenched in worry.

“Red?” she asked. “Where’s Angry?”

Red sadly glanced at the floor, obviously just as worried as the princess, before looking out the window. Rapunzel followed her gaze to see Angry standing outside all by herself, staring down into the serpent-filled canyon. Her heart just broke seeing her like that, and for a minute, she was in a large bedroom an entire lifetime ago, gazing at a small piece of purple fabric in her hand before seeing the emblem in the paintings on the ceiling, woven in every piece of art, every negative space, and realizing with nauseating dread why the painting she’d seen in Corona’s square had been so familiar, that she was the lost princess everyone was celebrating for and her entire life had been a lie…

Blocking that memory out, Rapunzel was quick to hurry outside, coming to Angry's side. 

"Angry?" She quietly asked as her eyes fell on her now-ripped up fortune. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Angry grumbled, scowling at the ground with tears beading at the corners of her eyes. Rapunzel knelt down and put one hand on her shoulders.

"Do… do you need a hug?"

Angry quickly shook her head, but her resolve only lasted a moment before she sniffled and gave the slightest nod. Rapunzel pulled her into a firm hug as she furiously scrubbed her tears away and leaned into her shoulder. After another moment, Angry slowly wrapped her arms around her neck and hugged her back, her small frame trembling.

“I-I should’ve known better,” Angry mumbled as Eugene and Red joined them and she pulled away. “I don’t know why I believed that stupid monkey. Guess I just wanted to believe I had a family so bad, that I fooled myself.” 

Rapunzel had nothing to say to that, because all she really had was understanding. She could still remember all those nights when she’d first moved into the castle, where she lie awake, staring at the ceiling, wondering how she’d been so stupid as to believe that woman’s lies all those years when everything made sense now, after all, she could’ve left at any moment, any time at all, and she could’ve figured it all out so much sooner if she wasn’t so naïve. So she’d seek out Eugene’s comfort because he was the only person who could possibly understand, and all he could do was hold her close and dispel those lies as they were spoken. No, it wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t her fault that the woman who raised her had died. It wasn’t her fault that he’d died in her arms. It wasn’t her fault for believing those twisted words, for staying isolated all those years as she’d been conditioned to do, for not having known the truth until she’d found out. It wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t her fault…

Rapunzel looked down at Vigor’s torn fortune again, picking it up this time and handing it to Eugene as he knelt next to her.

“Follow the leaf to find your tree,” Eugene softly read before offering Angry a small, comforting smile. “Hey, did you know that when I found Rapunzel, I was looking for a crown?” Eugene asked her. “And when Rapunzel found me, she was chasing lights in the sky?” Rapunzel grinned at the memory, leaning into Eugene’s hand as he lovingly brushed it against her cheek and continued to speak. “That’s what we thought would bring us happiness. That’s weird, right?”

“So?” Angry grumbled as she turned her back to them. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Well, because you thought finding your tree would bring you to your family,” Eugene answered her. “But who’s by your side right now, when you’re feeling your lowest?”

Rapunzel smiled as she realized what his point was, taking his hand and remembering how he’d asked her that very question as they stared at Gothel’s empty cloak. She’d taken his hand then too, grinning as it set in that she had a new family now, and she wasn’t all alone anymore.

Angry looked left and right before her dark brown eyes settled on her sister.

“You have a family in Red,” Eugene told her as Red nodded with a reassuring smile. “And if the journey helps you realize that, then following the leaf helped you find your tree.”

Rapunzel’s heart felt warm as she watched Angry take off her leaf necklace and hang it around Red’s neck, then wrap her in a tight hug. Red gasped for a moment before hugging her back just as tight. And Rapunzel just felt so… proud of them.

Eugene was strangely quiet while they stopped in Fortuna to deliver the Daylight Thieves to the authorities and for a quick bite to eat before dropping Vigor off. Rapunzel kept expecting him to make a signature witty comment as Madame Canardist and Vigor reunited, but he was still quiet, only speaking up to complain when Angry and Red took off without paying, leaving them to pay the fare.

"Eugene, what's the matter?" Rapunzel asked as they went on their way.

"Nothing," Eugene half-heartedly answered. "Just thinking."

Remembering how worried Eugene was when the girls ran off with her tiara, Rapunzel laid a comforting hand on his arm. 

"Don't worry, Eugene," she softly reassured him. "Angry and Red are tough. They'll be okay. I know it."

"I know, Rapunzel," Eugene answered. "They kicked butt and saved the day! I know they'll be alright until they're ready to ask for help. But that's not what I'm worried about." Rapunzel raised a confused eyebrow, and as if realizing he wasn't about to talk his way out of this, he pinched the bridge of his nose, sighed, then stopped walking and turned to face her.

"Now this is hypothetically speaking, of course, but…" Eugene hesitated for a moment, furrowing his eyebrows and pursing his lips before looking up at the sky and continuing with, "Do you think what happened with Varian could've been prevented if he had what Lance and I became for Angry and Red? Y-you know, like… like a mentor? Someone to look out for him?"

Rapunzel paused and turned away, contemplating it for a moment before carefully responding.

"Maybe," Rapunzel admitted, "But I don't know what good it would've done. He was pretty angry and he never came back until it was to steal the flower. Maybe it was because he didn't want to."

"Maybe," Eugene slowly agreed, his eyes drifting away from hers with an unreadable expression.

"Besides," Rapunzel added. "I don't think that's what matters. What matters is that we're here now."

Eugene sighed. 

"Maybe," he agreed again. "I just… I-I can't help but wonder if…" He sighed once more and rubbed the back of his neck. "But I guess you're right. We're here for him now."

A small feeling of guilt jabbed at her. They were here, but… Rapunzel still wasn't ready to face him. Hadn’t spoken one word to him since…

But Rapunzel was quick to brush it away. She could face him! She knew she could! She could do it once she was ready, she just… it was just taking a lot longer than she expected. And… and of course it didn’t make her weak, or a coward, or mean, or a horrible friend, or… or fragile as a flower, or sloppy and immature, or gullible and naïve and ditzy, or demented and a dummy, none of those things were true! She just… she just needed more time. And then she’d talk to him! She wasn’t afraid of him, of course she wasn’t! She’d talk to him soon! Once she was ready! They’d talk through everything and she’d help him see the light again, and everything was gonna be okay. She’d talk to him when she was ready!

Yes, she’d talk to him when she was ready.

Chapter Text

It was late at night when Eugene and Rapunzel returned to the caravan, chatting and giggling and laughing after their… sharing of apples under the stars. It had ended up being a lovely and romantic, if not comically simple, date, but unfortunately, they'd arrived at camp too late for Eugene to get any shut-eye before his watch shift with Varian. 

Something uncomfortable and guilty pinged at his heart at the thought.

But he brushed it off and bid Rapunzel goodnight with a kiss on her forehead. She softly grinned as she planted a small peck on his cheek before going to bed. 

Eugene frowned as he opened the door to the boys' bedroom to be met with a rancid smell. Rancid like nothing he'd ever smelled on Shorty. 

Lance gazed up at him with weary eyes. 

"Great, you're here," he sluggishly murmured. "It's your shift. Varian’s been throwing up for hours and he's running a fever, so please, keep an eye on him." 

Eugene sighed as Lance fell asleep, (that explained the smell) then turned to Varian. He frowned worriedly, the alchemist was passed out in bed, his face much, much paler than usual and his hair matted with sweat. His eyes trailed to a bucket at his bedside before jerking away; he did not need to see the contents. Eugene crossed the room and felt his forehead, recoiling at how hot it was. 

"Herz Der Sonne's journal, you're burning up!" Eugene declared, keeping his voice low so as not to wake anyone. "You're as sick as a dog, aren't you?" 

"Wow, did'ja figure that out by yourself?"

Eugene rolled his eyes at his slurred deadpan, watching him open his eyes and miserably glare at him with a single raised black eyebrow. Apparently he wasn't passed out, and apparently his illness didn't affect his sass. Even while sick and feverish, Varian the Grinch was still in business. 

"Yes," Eugene bit out as he went to the sink. "Yes, I did." He soaked a rag in cold water and put it over Varian’s forehead, pulling his blanket over his shoulder with his other hand. "How long you been sick, Goggles?"

"You don't have to baby me, Eugene," Varian grumbled, ignoring his question and sluggishly attempting to bat him away only to miss completely. Unfortunately for him, Ruddiger immediately scurried over and patted his hand down before he could try again. 

"Traitor," Varian sharply hissed at his companion with a frustrated side-eye, and Eugene had to bite a laugh back as Ruddiger innocently curled up in a ball on top of his human and began to doze off. You'd think an entire day of Angry's snark would be enough for one guy, but noooo.

"How. Long. Have. You. Been. Sick?" Eugene pressed as he used the rag to wipe away a thin sheen of sweat along his forehead before spreading it out. Hopefully it'd help bring the fever down. Varian gave him another dirty look before closing his eyes and sighing.

"Just since this morning," he mumbled. "Does it matter?"

"Of course, it matters!" Eugene complained. "We could've gotten you medicine before that no-good swindler took all our cash! The last thing we need is a sick, angsty teenager!"

"Would you prefer a dead angsty teenager?" Varian deadpanned. 

"Oh, go fly a kite," Eugene sighed as he picked up the bucket, set it and its foul-smelling contents just outside the door, and set a clean one by his bed. "I’ll admit, your sass is on-brand, but dark humor does not suit you."

"Then you're a terrible judge of humor," Varian mumbled, tugging his blanket closer as a shiver passed through his frame. Eugene frowned as his knuckles briefly rubbed at a small, bruised scrape across his cheek before he winced and dropped his hand under his blanket. He hadn't noticed it before. 

"How'd you get that scrape, Kid?"

"I tripped and fell," Varian whispered. When no further explanation came, Eugene sighed through his nose as he sat on his bed. As they sat in awkward silence, Eugene couldn’t help the way his mind drifted back to the day they’d just had.

Did you know that when I found Rapunzel, I was looking for a crown? And when Rapunzel found me, she was chasing lights in the sky? That’s what we thought would bring us happiness. That’s weird, right?

So? Why are you telling me this?

Well, because you thought finding your tree would bring you to your family, but who’s by your side right now, when you’re feeling your lowest?

Eugene had been so, so proud of his girls as he watched them embrace, listened to Angry declare that Red was her family. He’d always held true in his heart that the blood of the covenant was thicker than the water of the womb, that you didn't have to be related by blood to be family. Why, Lance was his family! Rapunzel was his family! Cassandra, in her own weird twisted way, was his family! (Granted, the kind of family he only put up with because he had to.) And to see his girls come to the same conclusion, to see them find a way to be happy and be family regardless of what their blood-line might say, was its own brand of joy.

But something was bothering him, something hair-raising and unsettling. Eugene couldn't quite put his finger on what it was, but it itched at the back of his mind, nagging at him. And it wasn't until they were stopping in town to get some food in his girls' bellies that it occurred to him. 

What about Varian? 

Very little was known about what Varian was up to in the months he'd gone AWOL, but the one thing he knew for certain was that he'd been alone for some time. That he hadn't had anyone to take care of him or show him a better way, the way Eugene and Lance had done for Angry and Red. 

Could what happened have been prevented if someone had been there?

Once he'd realized what was bugging him, it just would not leave him alone. He'd tried everything to soothe himself, to justify himself, to force it from his mind, but he couldn't stop wondering… and wondering… and wondering…

He chewed over what Rapunzel had said about the matter, and to be honest, he wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about it. But one thing was for certain. 

They were here now.

But how present were they, really? Cassandra had mentioned an attempt to reach out to him a while ago, and Lance had been trying his best to be kind to the kid, but Rapunzel still couldn’t face him, and Eugene? What had he done? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. 

How pathetic was that? 

Eugene sighed as he stood up and crossed the room. Better late than never, he supposed.

"You know, Varian, when I was your age, I'd been in trouble with the law almost half of my life," Eugene told him, sitting next to him. "I was young and so angry at the world, and crime was a lot easier than trying to play by the rules."

"Don't pretend to understand what I'm going through," Varian mumbled. "You don't get it. None of you do. You're just prison guards."

"Well, maybe I don't completely understand," Eugene muttered as Ruddiger crooned and lifted his head to nuzzle Varian’s chin. "But I do know what it's like to hate the world so much that you want to see it burn. So if you need someone to talk to, well, I'm all ears."

Varian let out a harrumph of disgust.

"Stop acting like you care," he hissed. "You don't! None of you do. You're here to keep me contained, not because you care. If I've learned anything from this whole ordeal, it's that no one cares. So stop pretending! It's making me sick."

Eugene sighed as Varian turned his back to him, disturbing his sleepy raccoon’s spot and forcing him to reposition himself at Varian’s feet. He could remember plenty of moments at the orphanage he'd grown up in where one of the caregivers, a woman named Maybelline, tried to reach out to him, tried to act all motherly. Back then he'd craved such moments, desperate to know that someone, anyone, cared about him. When she'd read him a bedtime story, or patch up one of his scrapes, or nurse him back to health when he was sick, he'd secretly loved the attention and reveled in it. But when Eugene and Lance ran away, she'd just gone on with her life. And when he'd run into her as a teenager, she hadn't recognized him, only yelled for the guards to get him out of her sight. He hadn't understood what he'd just witnessed as the guards cuffed his wrists behind his back and shoved him into a prison cart, hadn’t understood how she could just go back about her business without casting him a second glance. But in the cold darkness of a prison cell, where teenage Flynn Rider was busy breaking himself out, his hands trembling from the frigid air and his breath short and hollow from the throbbing pain of the beating he’d gotten, he'd understood completely. The woman had never loved him, never cared about him at all. He was just a job to her. And the moment he was out of sight, he was out of her mind too.

So needless to say, he could see where Varian was coming from. And he didn't know how to fix it. He reeeaaally should've reached out sooner.

"Look, I get it," Eugene murmured as he stared down at his hands. "When you get a glimpse of how cruel the world can be, how can you ever trust anyone again?"

Varian didn’t respond. He just stared at the wall. So Eugene switched tactics. 

"You know, I wasn't much younger than you when I started calling myself Flynn Rider," Eugene told him, leaning against the wall. "I'd read all the books to the younger kids when I was in the orphanage, and when I got serious about crime and began making a name for myself, well, Flynn Rider sounded a lot better than Eugene Fitzherbert." Eugene chuckled ruefully. "The first time I used that name, Lance and I teamed up with Anthony the Weasel. We stole from the richest guy in town, although, admittedly, he wasn't very rich. We almost got away with it too, but Anthony ditched us at the last minute. You know how long it took Lance and I to escape the guards that day? Two. Hours. My lock-picking skills were still a little green, but we got out in the nick of time. And when we'd gotten away, I told the guard, 'Tell the King Flynn Rider says hello!'"

Eugene laughed at that and glanced at Varian to see him give a small yawn, blinking tiredly. Well Eugene didn't think his stories were that boring, but hey, if it would get the sleep-deprived teenager some shut-eye after watching him sit awake in silence every night, Eugene would take it.

"Another time, I was working with this set of twin brothers called the Stabbingtons," Eugene continued. "They went by Sideburns and Patches. We robbed this woman who went by 'The Duchess.' What we didn't know was that she happened to be a wrestler, and the best one in all of the land. She seemed so elegant and put-together, the last thing anyone ever expected was when she tackled Sideburns and began beating the tar out of him." Eugene laughed again. "I was smart enough to use the distraction to take the loot and run, but the Stabbingtons, well, they weren't so lucky. That was the first time I double-crossed them, and believe me, I've crossed them more times than I can count."

Eugene looked at Varian again to see that he was sound asleep. He sighed as he tucked the blanket around the alchemist's shoulders.

"You're more lost than I thought, Kid," Eugene muttered. He carefully smoothed his hair out of his face, being gentle so as not to wake him, and frowned worriedly as he looked at his face. Even in his sleep, Varian was tense with stress, his eyes screwed shut and his mouth pressed into a tight frown. Eugene sighed once more. The kid was really hurting, wasn't he? And all Eugene could really say was:

"I'm sorry, okay?" Eugene whispered. "I should've reached out to you sooner, a lot sooner, and you have no reason to trust me right now. But I have to believe you're in there somewhere, and if no one else will do this thing, then I will."

Eugene got up and sat back down on his own bed, yawning with exhaustion as he blinked hard to stay awake. Tomorrow, they were gonna have to get the sick alchemist some medicine. That is, if they could find some money after that con artist took it all. But he was sure Cassandra had insisted on keeping a stash of gold somewhere in this wooden bucket of bolts and stained glass in case of a robbery. That would help.

He let his thoughts wander to Rapunzel. He was gonna have to propose to her again at some point, but he kept doing it all wrong! How was he supposed to get it right? What if he got it right and she still said no? What if-

Movement from Varian’s bed snapped him to attention, but as Eugene looked up, Varian simply turned on his other side. With a sigh of relief, Eugene tried to go back to wondering about Rapunzel, but a pained whimper escaped the boy as he began to toss and turn, incomprehensibly mumbling. Eugene frowned deeply as Varian began breathing faster, harder, sweat beading at his forehead as he hyperventilated. His face twisted with agony and terror as he grimaced, and Eugene pressed his hands to his knees, making to stand and wake up the teenager while Ruddiger let out a worried chitter.

Suddenly, Varian snapped awake, bolting upright with his hands clapping over his mouth. A short, muffled, frightened scream escaped his hands but was swiftly cut off. His entire being vibrated, his chest heaving as he gasped and panted. Eugene raised his eyebrows and sat back as the boy got his breathing under control, almost feeling guilty for putting him to sleep. Nightmares. He was having nightmares. That's why he wasn't sleeping. 

Varian lowered his hands, taking deep, shaking breaths and rocking slightly as if to soothe himself. Ruddiger nuzzled his hands in a comforting gesture, and Varian lovingly scratched his head as if this was routine. Now that Eugene thought about it, something about his slow, deliberate movements told him that this definitely wasn't the first time he'd had to calm himself after a nightmare recently. 

"That's why you aren't sleeping at night," Eugene murmured. Varian quickly turned around, startled, before giving Eugene his usual acidic glare. 

"Right, I think I've figured that out, Genius," Varian bit out. 

"How long has this been happening?" Eugene asked, crossing his fingers and hoping the kid would open up. 

Varian frowned. 

"Eugene, you're not my psychiatrist, you're just a prison guard!" He growled. "You're not my friend, you're my enemy! Quit pretending like you're not!"

“Look, Goggles-”

“I think you made it pretty clear what you think of me back in Varderos anyway,” Varian interrupted. “You don’t get to pretend you care about me! There’s no point!”

Eugene groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose, his cheeks slightly burning as he remembered how he’d shouted at the kid like some idiot madman, hurling all of his anger and fury and stress and vitriol at his back while he was busy saving Lance’s life. He remembered how Varian froze under his scathing words, and back then he was way too upset and angry to care, but now? Oh, what was he thinking?!

“Look,” Eugene sighed. “I’m not gonna pretend that I’m okay with what you did… but I shouldn’t have yelled at you and insulted you like that, okay? I’m sorry, that was mean.”

Varian narrowed his eyes at him, but didn't respond or protest further. Eugene tapped his fingers on his knees to try and find a way to relieve the tension. 

"Do you want another Flynn Rider story?" Eugene asked. Varian gave a sigh of resignation, then sat against his wall, draped his blanket over his shivering shoulders and brought his knees to his chest. He crossed his arms and rested his chin on them, then glowered at Eugene, his eyes carrying the slightest hint of childish expectancy. Ruddiger curled up on his shoulders, snuggling in as if he was actually interested in the proposition.

Eugene relaxed against the bed and told him stories from his days of crime, until after a while, Cassandra came in for her shift. Eugene climbed back in bed and fell asleep quickly, and the last thought to pass through his mind before he drifted off was, oh, we've got a long way to go.

Chapter Text

Varian’s fever had broken a few days ago, and Eugene was still acting so strange!

Seriously, what was up with him? Why was he acting so nice all of a sudden? Varian knew full well that Eugene was mad at him and didn’t really care about him, so what on earth was his deal? Why did he care so much if he wanted to talk about things? Or about the bruises he’d seen when Varian was dumb enough to try to wash his shirt without covering himself first? None of it was adding up. And King Fredrick’s Royal Boxers, would he shut up about his Dad?! Varian had tried to tell him, over and over again, he didn’t want to talk about his father or how he could save him. Just thinking about the possibility that his father could be alive in there even after everything that had happened, just waiting for someone to save him from his grave, made him sick to his stomach. But no matter how many times he snapped at him, Eugene just… didn’t understand.

Currently Eugene was on night watch. He’d tried to get him to fall asleep, but even if Varian wanted to, he simply couldn’t. So Eugene had taken to telling him about his days as a thief, back when he was still Flynn Rider. Which was stupid, and childish, and he definitely didn’t care about his childhood hero’s adventures, but hey, it could’ve been a lot worse.

Varian’s eyes hesitantly trailed to Eugene as he spoke, who was caught up in his story and wasn't paying too close attention to him, before going to the wrist injury he'd been waiting all day to tend to. He'd hidden his grimaces, bit back his pained cries, steadied his flinches the best he could until no one was paying attention so he could look at the damage. He would've waited until he was alone to try to patch himself up, but, I mean, it's not like the whole 24-hour watch shift really granted him the luxury of time by himself to decompress or anything, so he had to make do.

He tugged off his glove on his uninjured hand first. Hopefully that would lower the chances of Eugene noticing anything. Then he held his breath and tightly pressed his mouth closed to keep himself quiet, squeezed his eyes shut, and gingerly removed his other glove. 

Oh, this looked bad. 

Encasing his entire wrist was a brilliant display of angry reds, deep blues, bright purples, sickly greens and dark blacks. It was swollen and hurt with every move and touch.

Had he sprained it?

"Woah, what happened to you?" Eugene demanded. 

Crap.

"It's nothing," Varian muttered, going to glove his hands again, but Eugene took him by his arm before he could. It was too fast to keep a groan of pain silent this time, causing Eugene’s eyes to narrow.

"Varian, how did this happen?" Eugene repeated, gently turning his wrist over and inspecting his injuries. 

"I said, 'It's nothing.'"

"Kid, your hand looks like a children's art project!" Eugene insisted, holding Varian’s wrist to their eye level for emphasis. "I'm gonna ask you one more time. What. Happened. To. Your. Hand?"

"What was that all about?"

"Cass-"

"Are you calling me a bully?"

Stumbling back, arm over his face, hand squeezing his wrist and yanking it down…

"Are you saying I'm the bad guy?"

"Cass, let me go-"

"Did I tell you you could speak? You're one to talk, traitor."

Hand tightening, crushing him now, tingle in his fingers…

"You'll do anything just to get your way."

"Let me go!"

"Did I tell you you could speak?!”

Biting his tongue, squeezing his eyes shut as fingernails dug deep into his glove and pinched his skin…

“Oh, what did I ever do to have to put up with someone like you?"

Fingers going numb, palm tingling painfully, pulling at her iron grip, sparks shooting through his hand, God it hurts…

"If it were up to me, we would've left you to rot in Corona just like you said we should've!"

"C-cassandra, you're hur-hurting me-"

"What? I'M hurting you?"

"You're-"

BAM!

Sharply exhaling from a sudden backhand to the face, head snapping to the side, palm to his stinging cheek…

"Maybe now you'll understand how it feels to be crushed. You have no one to blame but yourself."

"It's fine," Varian lied in a low hiss. "I just slammed it in a door."

Eugene raised a suspicious eyebrow. Varian held still, silently pleading with him to buy it. Begging him not to push it. He didn't want another bruise. He didn't want to be hit again. He didn't want to listen to another harsh insult. He didn't want to be ignored when he spoke. He just wanted to pretend it didn't hurt, maybe then it wouldn't be so bad. Luckily Eugene frowned at his scowl, then turned his attention back to Varian’s wrist. 

"Good news is that I don't think it's busted," Eugene murmured as his fingers carefully felt the joint. "It might be sprained, but it should heal up just fine. Let's go get some ice on it, try to get the swelling down."

Eugene took him outside and sat him next to the food trunk. Varian hissed when he pressed ice wrapped in a cloth to his wrist. 

"You sure you just slammed it in a door?" Eugene asked. "Cause this doesn't look like it came from a door."

"Yes. I slammed it in a door. What part of that do you not understand?!"

"Did this come from wherever the bruises on your arms came from?"

"No!" Varian insisted. "I am fine, Eugene. I just slammed my wrist in a door!"

"And that's it? Nothing else happened?"

“Kid, you’re limping. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Eugene.”

“Want to tell me what happened if you’re so ‘fine’?”

“It’s nothing, Cassandra just pushed me, that’s all.”

“What? Cassandra? You pushed him?!”

“I-it was an accident. I tripped over a tree root and accidentally pushed him over. I checked him over and he’s fine. He just twisted his ankle.”

Frowning deeply, knowing that was a lie…

“That’s not what happened, she-”

“Okay, so I might have disturbed a rabbit warren while I was at it. Details."

"I see."

"Now, Eugene, will you excuse us? We need to go collect firewood.”

“Fine, Cass-SAND-ra. I’ll go get the water.”

Flinching as her hand tightened around his bruised bicep and dragged him away before he could protest…

“What was that all about? Are you calling me a bully? Are you saying I'm the bad guy? Did I tell you you could speak? You’re one to talk, traitor.”

Varian frowned. It would be so easy to tell him. Cassandra did this. 

And it'd be even easier for Eugene to respond with, I don't believe you. Why don't we ask Cassandra what happened? 

No. It wasn't a risk he was about to take.

"That's it," Varian lied. "Nothing else happened." He looked up at the moon. "Aren't you going to be changing shifts soon?"

Eugene rolled his eyes, but said nothing more as he wrapped Varian’s wrist and hand in tight bandages. It hurt, and Varian hissed and grimaced the whole time, but once he was finished it wasn't nearly as painful to use the hand.

Varian could hear the soft footsteps from the girl's room as he followed Eugene inside, signifying the guard change. He was quick to climb into bed and pull the blanket over his head. Usually Cassandra left him alone if he acted like he was sleeping. Usually. Sometimes she'd wake him up for whatever, but if he played dead, complied with her orders and ignored just how much her grip hurt, she'd keep it at just insults most of the time. 

Varian frowned when he heard Eugene asking Cassandra about his injuries only for Cassandra to deny knowing anything. He held still as he listened to Eugene take her at her word, because of course the princess’s boyfriend would believe her over him and then wonder why Varian wouldn’t tell him anything. He listened to Eugene climb into bed, and eventually his snores could be heard, which meant that Varian was now alone with her.

Varian held perfectly still, forcing himself to breathe nice and slow even as his heart thumped against his ribcage. He could hear a soft snarl as Ruddiger planted himself at Varian’s back, his hackles raised so high that Varian could feel it through his blanket. 

"What's your problem?" Cassandra bitterly huffed at the raccoon. Ruddiger hissed at her, low and guttural, and Varian could practically hear her rolling her eyes. 

"Careful," she half-heartedly sighed as a chair creaked, her tone flat and sarcastic. "You'd make a nice, warm hat."

Even if Varian could tell she had no real intentions of turning his best friend into a furry cap, the threat to do so still made his stomach lurch into his throat, and he held his breath for a long moment, not daring to move a muscle or even twitch. But Ruddiger simply curled against his back with a low rumble. 

"Hmph. That's what I thought."

Varian’s jaw ached, revealing just how tightly he was clenching it. The tension hung in the air like a thick, suffocating miasma of smoke, and he felt so alone, so powerless and vulnerable, as powerless and vulnerable as when…

Varian was twelve years old at the time. He scanned the words of a book at the desk of his lab. It was well past midnight, and the text was swimming before his vision. Varian fought to stay awake, after all, Cyrus or one of his cronies would be stopping by for their nightly raid any time now and he was going to need to hide, but oh, he was so sleepy. Eventually he just couldn't stay awake any longer, and his head dropped right to the book. 

Someone was pulling his chair back. Someone took his hands and pulled him to his feet. He walked out of his lab and into the cold night air. The chill of the wind woke him up, and he looked left and right to see the silhouettes of two very familiar teenage boys. 

"Let me go!" Varian cried as he dragged his feet and tried to yank his hands from their hold only for their grip to tighten. "Help!"

"Aww, who's gonna make us, Hairstripe?" Amos taunted him. 

"Yeah," Tobias jeered. "We made sure your dad's asleep. There's no one but us." 

Varian yanked back on his hands again, but they were just too strong. 

"Well, well, well," Cyrus's voice echoed through the trees. "What do we have here?" 

Cyrus stepped out into the moonlight wearing a smirk as intimidating as ever. 

"Looks like we've found our favorite little nerdy freak," he sneered. "Good work, boys." 

"Wh-what do you want?" Varian snapped. 

"Oh, we want to see if we can find a good potion in that so-called 'lab' of yours," Cyrus answered. "But you're just in our way." 

Before Varian knew what was happening, Amos and Tobias had dragged him to a tree and were binding his wrists behind it. 

"Let me go!" Varian shouted as he kicked at them. He knew where their body's weak points were from a book he'd read a few months ago, but they were too big, and his struggle didn't do much. 

"My-my dad's gonna find you in there!" Varian snapped as he yanked and pulled against the ropes holding him hostage and they all watched him with matching sadistic smirks. "H-he's gonna find you, and you'll… a-a-and you'll be sorry!" The truth was that Dad hadn't ever caught them, something they used to their full advantage, but it was the only threat he could think of under the circumstances. 

"Shut him up," Cyrus groaned with a roll of his eyes. "I don't want to hear his stuttering nonsense." 

Varian groaned in protest when a cloth strip was tied over his mouth, glaring daggers at them. Cyrus smirked at him, then leaned forward, getting in his face.

"Aww, whatcha gonna do now?" Cyrus mocked him. "You gonna cry out for Daddy?" 

The truth was that Varian had stopped trying to tell his father what was happening years ago. Dad never listened. And now he was gonna be trapped outside all by himself in the cold darkness until they finished raiding his lab again knowing that no one would hear his cries for help. But as he glowered at Cyrus, unable to free himself, unable to fight back, unable to speak, he wasn't about to just lay down and die.

So he reared his head back and slammed it against his face. 

Cyrus screamed in pain, stumbling back with his hands over his nose and letting out a string of colorful expletives. Varian quickly looked away the instant he noticed the red trickle seeping down his chin because the last thing he needed was to pass out. Cyrus snarled at him, striding forward and nailing him in the eye. Varian’s cry of pain was muffled by his gag but the bullies didn't seem to care.

"Who do you think you are, huh Hairstripe?" Cyrus demanded, grabbing his bangs and yanking him as far forward as his ties allowed. Varian squawked in fear, letting out an unintelligible plea for mercy, but his grip was unrelenting. 

"What was that, Freak?" Cyrus snapped, yanking harder on his hair. "Got something to say?" Varian yelped when he pulled upward until his feet left the ground. "Go on," Cyrus ordered. "Beg."

"He doesn't have to." 

Everyone froze at the sound of his father's voice. Varian stared up at Dad as he made himself visible, and the boys began to tremble as they turned to face him, Cyrus putting him down and letting go of his hair. Everyone knew that while Dad was usually very calm, you didn’t dare with his family or his village.

"So this is what you've been doing to my son," his father growled. The three bullies said nothing, and his eyes narrowed to slits. 

"GET YOUR REAR-ENDS HOME BEFORE I TAN YOUR HIDES MYSELF!" Dad roared. The teenagers ran as fast as their feet could carry them, disappearing into the night. 

"Are you alright?" Dad asked as he pulled the gag free. 

"Y-yes, Sir, I-I'm okay," Varian stammered as his father got to work on his restraints. 

"How long has this been happening?" His father asked just as Varian’s ropes came free. 

"Years," Varian whispered, meekly rubbing his rope burned wrists. "They... they break into the lab every night." 

His father sighed as he gazed at him, and Varian suddenly felt the need to continue, to apologize, to defend himself. 

"I-I'm sorry, Dad, I-I-I should've-"

A heavy hand on his shoulder silenced him.

"Come on," he murmured through a yawn. "Let's go get that eye taken care of before it swells." 

Dad's hand slid to Varian’s back, pressing right between his shoulder blades as he led him home. The crickets sang through the dark silence but Varian didn't dare break it. When they got home, they went to the kitchen where Dad held some ice to his eye. 

"Why didn't you tell me what was happening?" Dad quietly asked. 

"I tried to," Varian mumbled. "You wouldn't listen." His father sighed. 

"I'm sorry, Son," Dad muttered. "I'll be having a talk with their parents about this. But Varian, you have to stand up for yourself. You have to take things into your own hands when no one hears you." 

"How?" Varian asked. "They're bigger than me and way stronger than me!" 

"Maybe they are," Dad agreed. "But what do you have that they don't?" 

Varian paused as he thought about it. 

"A really smart brain?" He offered in a small voice. 

"Then use it," Dad told him. "Use that big brain of yours to find a way to solve the problem." 

Varian hummed as he thought. How could he outsmart Cyrus and Amos and Tobias? 

Then he lit up. 

"Maybe if I scare them away, they'll stop coming to my lab!" Varian suggested. He took the ice from Dad's hand and hurried over to his lab. "I just need lots of smoke, some rope, something heavy and a scary coat..." 

Two days later, Varian had his tongue stuck out in concentration as he tightened a final knot in his trap. Smiling up at his handiwork, he stepped up to his desk and scanned the schematics, then the elaborate set of ropes and gears and weights surrounding the door of his lab. Giving a nod of satisfaction, Varian pulled his oversized goggles over his eyes, flipped his welding face shield over his face, and readied himself a safe distance from the trap, grabbing onto two ropes tied to his testing dummy. 

"The tenth test of the Anti-Cyrus-3000 is a go in three, two, one-" 

"Varian, son," his father called for him as he stepped inside his lab. "I'm headed to Corona to-" 

"Dad, watch out!" Varian warned just as Dad's ankle nudged the tripwire. His Dad quickly looked up, then jumped out of the way just before his ropes could ensnare him. Without anything trapped inside it, the ropes fell off the hooks, leading to the entire setup crashing down. Varian lifted his face shield and smiled sheepishly as a huge cloud of dust kicked up around his father. When it cleared, his Dad gave him a long, flat frown, and Varian, in turn, cowered back. 

"Varian," Dad shortly groaned in a very annoyed tone as he carefully stepped over the remnants of the trap. "What is this?" 

"I-it's the A-anti-Cyrus-three-thousand, S-sir," Varian mumbled in a small voice. 

"I see," Dad sighed. "And you're planning to trap those kids that keep bullying you in it?" 

"Y-yes, Sir," Varian answered, his heart fluttering when Dad's frown deepened. "Y-you told me that I needed to find a way to solve the problem, and I needed to stand up for myself and t-take this into my own hands." Varian offered another tentative, lopsided grin. "Do...do you like it, Dad?" 

His father sighed again, rolling his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose with an exasperated groan. 

"I've created a monster," he muttered under his breath. He then lowered his hand. "Alright, Varian, just don't get hurt." Varian practically beamed at him, all smiles and pure innocent joy. 

"Yes Sir!" He proudly declared. "This is all perfectly safe!" 

Dad raised an eyebrow as a part fell from the wall, leading to even more of the trap crashing to the floor. Varian laughed nervously as Dad frowned before sighing once and turning towards the door. 

"I'm heading to Corona to get my shovel repaired," he informed him. "I'll see you later." With that, he headed out, closing the door behind him. 

Varian scanned his blueprint again, then got to work at putting the trap back together. About two hours later, he pulled his goggles and face shield back on. 

"The first test of the Anti-Cyrus-3000-2.0 is a go in three, two, one!" 

Varian tugged his testing dummy forward. It rattled on its imperfect wheels as it slowly rolled into Varian’s trap. Varian clenched his teeth in anticipation, the last time he tested his invention out, it had ripped the head right off the dummy, as evident by the way it was messily glued on. So to say he was ecstatic when the trap worked exactly as it was supposed to was an understatement. 

"Yes," Varian breathed. He grinned from ear to ear as he began jumping up and down and dancing in victory, his hands waving in the air as he giggled and cheered. "Yes!" He joyfully exclaimed. "Cyrus, you're in trouble now!" 

That night, Varian donned a large protective coat and pulled his welding face shield over his face. He placed a decoy version of himself sitting at his desk, then lay in wait for the nightly attack. When the moon was at its zenith, shining light inside his lab, his door creaked open, and three dark silhouettes crept inside.

"Did you think your daddy could scare us away forever, Hairstripe?" Cyrus sneered as he approached Varian’s decoy, his nose in a plaster and his swollen face covered in an array of bruises. "Well you thought wrong." 

The three boys walked straight into Varian’s trip wire. The trap quickly sprang around the trio, tightening around their ankles and yanking them upside down into the air. They all let out startled cries, clinging to each other as they swayed back and forth, suspended from the ceiling by the tight knot around their feet. 

"What's going on?" Amos squeaked. 

"Varian, let us down if you know what's good for you!" Cyrus ordered, shaking his fist. Varian smirked, then pulled on a rope, trying not to cough as magenta smoke filled the lab. 

"What's happening?" Tobias cried. 

"Who dares to trespass in my lair?" Varian shouted. The metal of his face shield deepened his voice and made him sound older and more intimidating.

"V-varian, this isn't funny!" Amos snapped, his voice trembling. "C-come on, we were just playing around, it was j-just a joke! R-right, Tobias?"

"R-r-right!"

Varian stood and approached them, walking with slow, menacing steps.

"I said, 'Who dares to trespass in my lair?!'"

All three boys squeaked in fear, their eyes as big as dinner plates.

"Varian, please, let us go," Cyrus pleaded. "We're sorry! Please don't hurt us!"

"All who trespass in my lair shall be destroyed!" Varian loudly roared. 

"No!" Tobias squealed. "We'll get out of here faster than two shakes of a lamb's tail, please, you'll never see us again!"

"And why should I grant you mercy?" Varian retorted. "You're nothing but an evil bully!"

"I'm sorry, please, I'm sorry, I swear I'll never bully anyone ever again!" Cyrus practically begged him. "We'll be good, I promise! Right guys?"

"Well I don't believe you," Varian answered in a low growl, pulling a glowing yellow vial of chemiluminescent substrate from his pockets. The reality was that it was completely harmless, all it really did was glow, but his tormentors didn't need to know that. "So I'm gonna have to teach you a lesson."

The resulting terrified screams echoed around his lab as the boys thrashed in his trap, Tobias hugging Amos tight as he began sobbing in his shirt and Cyrus breaking out in a cold sweat. 

"No, don't hurt us!" Cyrus nearly shouted. "I swear on my father's prized cow, I will never, ever, ever, ever bully you or anyone else ever again! ON MY FATHER'S PRIZED COW!"

Varian put his gloved hand to his chin beneath his mask, making a show out of taking a moment to consider his plea.

"Very well," Varian relented. "You get One. More. Chance." He pulled on a lever, which dropped the teenagers on the floor and set them free. "Now get out, and don't come back!!"

The three boys wasted no time running out, practically tripping over themselves as they sprinted into the night. Varian let out a whoop of victory, laughing and dancing where he stood. He did it! He actually did it! He scared away his bullies! 

"Varian!" Dad hurried into the lab. "Varian, son! Are you-" 

Dad started to cough as he carefully stepped over his tripwire, pausing and frowning when he took in the pre-teen. 

"What on earth are you wearing?!"

The next day, when Varian went out to collect bimberries for an experiment, he overheard Cyrus and Amos telling the younger village children a wildly exaggerated version of the tale. He slowed down, hiding behind a haystack to listen and catching phrases like never believe what happened and he's a wizard! I swear he's a wizard! and laughing like a maniac and never seen anything like it!

"I'm not a wizard," Varian grumbled under his breath as he left them behind and walked towards the forest for his quarry. But even so, he couldn't hide the giant, goofy, proud grin that stretched from ear to ear.

Varian couldn't help but sadly sigh as he remembered that. If only that was all it took to stop the bullies he faced now.

"What was that?" Cassandra snapped from her post. "Varian?"

Oh no.

Chapter Text

Cassandra crossed her arms as she watched Adira and Rapunzel talk, straining her ears in an attempt to pick up bits and pieces. So far, she had no sensible idea what they could possibly be talking about, but Shorty's snores were not helpful at all. Cassandra was ill at ease. She didn't trust Adira at all even if she did get them through the Forest of No Return. They hardly knew her, plus she seemed to be rather fond of Varian, and anyone who was fond of that depraved little demon spawn was no friend of hers. Besides, what if Adira was leading them into a trap just like V- 

Hello, C-

No no no, Cassandra wasn't going to think about him. Cassandra was fine. She was fine! It didn't bother her, she didn't even care! 

"They've been at it for a while, what could they be talking about?" Eugene murmured. 

"Shh," Cassandra whispered. "I'm trying to eavesdrop!" 

"You know I can read lips, right?" Lance drawled, slowing down in order to translate. "Follow... your... dust... to me!" 

"Are you kidding?" Eugene groaned. "How is dust supposed to lead us to Adira?" 

"Lance, are you sure you can read lips?" Cassandra asked with a raised eyebrow. "That makes no sense!" 

"Guys, she said, 'Follow your destiny,'" That scoundrel grumbled with his arms crossed, and the sound of his awful voice made Cassandra go tense.

It’s not enough until you-

"Now she's telling her to-" 

"Shut up, I'm trying to listen!" Cassandra bit out before he could make her lose her cool again. She frowned when Adira pointed to the top of the mountain. 

"I guess we're going mountain climbing?" Eugene skeptically remarked. "Well that's delightful." 

Rapunzel turned away from Adira and tucked their two scroll pieces away in her bag. 

"Whatever we're going up there for," Cassandra matter-of-factly informed them, "My money says it's for another piece of that scroll." 

As Rapunzel approached them, Adira paused for a moment, her eyes locking on Cassandra. The swordswoman raised an eyebrow as the shifty shadow warrior’s gaze quickly darkened into a disgusted scowl, but before Cassandra could ask her what her problem was, she turned on her heels and swiftly disappeared into the night. Cassandra glowered in the direction the woman had gone. What was she up to? 

Cassandra’s gut said that she was up to no good. That she was planning on hurting them, and hurting them bad. Why would Adira be so shifty and cryptic with them if she didn't have such plans? And what was that dirty look for? And on top of that, why did she only show up after Rapunzel took in the sociopath she seemed so attached to? Why not give them the information on the rocks when they first showed up? Why wait until now if she didn't have some sort of ulterior motive?

"She says we need to find our next scroll piece at the Spire," Rapunzel explained as she rejoined them. "She says the scroll will tell me my destiny." 

"You mean the two ripped pieces that we can't even read?" Eugene deadpanned. 

"Yup," Rapunzel blithely answered. "Those are the ones." She glanced towards the mountains, then back to them. "Adira says the Keeper of the Spire will take us to it, so I say we get some rest so we can get started bright and early." 

"Raps, are you sure about this?" Cassandra dubiously asked. "We still don't know anything about her!" 

"So we'll be careful," Rapunzel concluded. "We'll watch our backs and we'll be cautious about this. Yeah?" 

“But-”

“We need that third scroll piece,” Rapunzel reminded her, and her dismissive tone told her that her arguments would not be heeded. So Cassandra sighed, then nodded. 

She'd keep her eye on Adira if no one else would. 

Inside the caravan, Cassandra tossed and turned in bed, unable to get comfortable or calm her racing mind down. She was too hot with her blanket, too cold without it, and couldn't get her pillow to a place where it didn't hurt her neck. She squeezed her eyes shut in an attempt to force herself to sleep, but she just couldn't. Hours upon hours ticked by, but every time she'd doze off, a nightmare about that disgusting little cockroach would leave her breathless. 

Giving up, Cassandra pushed her blankets aside and headed over to the boy's room. Her watch shift started in an hour anyway, she might as well have started early. 

Eugene raised an eyebrow when she stepped through the door, obviously noticing how early she was, but shrugged, flopped into bed with a yawn and fell fast asleep. 

Cassandra raised an eyebrow at the still-awake dirtbag who tiredly stared at the floor, avoiding her gaze and absently combing his fingertips through a snoozing Ruddiger's fur. Well, if he couldn't sleep either, they might as well get the water taken care of. 

"Come on," Cassandra shortly muttered, taking him by his arm and pulling him up. "Let's go get our buckets filled." The demon child sluggishly rubbed at his eyes and yawned as Ruddiger scrambled to hide under his bed. 

"Cass, it's the middle of the night," Varian mumbled. "Can't we-" 

And to make sure I have your attention, I’ve-

"Did I tell you you could speak?" Cassandra sharply cut him off, and to her relief, he bit his lip and went quiet. 

"Let's go, you little maggot," Cassandra ordered. With a roll of his eyes and a small, defeated sigh, Varian obeyed. They stepped outside, grabbed the water buckets and trekked to the nearest water source on foot. Cassandra frowned as she noticed the little monster lagging behind. 

"Come on, we don't have all night," Cassandra bitterly grumbled. "Faster!" 

She turned away from him as he quickened his pace. She tried to breathe through her nose to stay calm. Sometimes she lost her temper when they were alone like this, and she didn't like the person she'd become. It made her feel like one of those silver geysers from the Forest of No Return, leaving her desperate to release the pressure inside her head, to know she had her power this time and he couldn’t hurt her again, to make him know the pain inside of her, but the things that would happen, well, they weren't necessarily things she was proud of. Nevertheless, the alchemist never asked her why she was losing it like this, nor did he seem to want to relay what happened between them, so no one asked about her feelings. The only thing worse than dealing with such a selfish, good-for-nothing traitor was talking about her feelings, and Cassandra didn't do talking about her feelings. She'd always dealt with it on her own and moved on, and she needed the space to do so now. She didn’t need anything else, not to talk, not a hug, not to sing Kumbaya and hope it magically erased what happened, nothing. She just needed space to deal with it alone the way she’d always done.

Eventually the pair made it to the river, where they filled their buckets with water. Cassandra made a move to grab her buckets and carry them back, but paused when she realized that Varian was still knelt at the riverside. He pulled a small canteen out of his bag. 

"Come on, we don't have time for messing around," Cassandra grumbled. "Let's go." 

"Hang on, I'm just getting some water for tomorrow," Varian groggily murmured, unscrewing the cap. "It'll only take a second." 

"Well, that's stupid," Cassandra bit out as her heart began to race, beating painfully against her ribcage and thrumming under her skin. But even so, why was she even surprised about this disrespectful insubordination, especially coming from that stupid little pest?

"You can get water from the buckets when we get back,” Cassandra sternly ordered. “Now get up!" 

"It's more efficient to do it now," the degenerate quietly answered as he filled his container. "I'm just about done." He lifted the water bottle from the river and dropped a small tablet inside before turning to face her, a dark glower on his face as he looked just above her left shoulder. 

"See?" He growled. "That took no time, Cassandra." 

Hello, Cassandra.  

Suddenly she couldn't bear the glare in his eyes or the tone of his voice. It was way too much like the way he spoke to her and the way he looked at Rapunzel when- 

It's not enough until you endure the same amount of pain and agony I have! 

In a sudden raging attempt to block it out, she took him by his shirt collar and yanked him from the ground. 

"You little demented freak," she snarled. "I told you to wait until we get back to camp!" Cassandra snatched the canteen from his hand and flipped it upside down, dumping the contents on the ground before chucking it into the bushes where it landed with a crack. A tinge of regret tickled at the back of her head, after all, that was immature and mean. What was wrong with her?

But her regrets were quickly chased away by anger. 

"Now look what you've done," Cassandra bit out as she released him. "Go get it!"

Varian’s shoulders slumped as he stared in the direction she'd thrown it before leveling a frosty glare at her boots. 

"Why do you have to be this way?" That worthless hypocrite demanded. 

"Be what way?" Cassandra retorted with her hands on her sides. "Like the kind of person who takes your criminal history seriously?" Her head was spinning and full of fuzz now, and her breath was short and wheezing against the pounding of her heart.

"Like the kind of person who treats people like their property," Varian muttered, crossing his arms and turning away. 

"Well you should've thought of that before you decided to attack my home," Cassandra hissed. "You break the law, you get treated like a criminal. In case you haven’t realized it yet, that’s how the world outside your creepy little lab works! You have no one to blame but yourself." She pointed at the bushes. "Now quit your whining and go get your canteen before I make you leave it here!" 

The psycho let out a loud sigh, and she narrowed her eyes at the little protest. 

"And cut the disrespectful attitude!"

Varian stomped over and knelt in the brush, his hands pawing between branches and leaves as he searched. His breath hitched as he hesitated, his face paling. 

"What?" 

"N-nothing," The backstabber muttered as he grabbed the container and stowed it away. "It's nothing."

Cassandra raised her eyebrows as he stood up, his eyes firmly locked on the ground. Why was that disrespectful little brat so insistent on refusing to make eye contact with her over the past few weeks?!

"That didn't look like nothing," Cassandra retorted. "What's wrong?"

"I said-"

"Look at me when I'm talking to you!"

"I said, 'It's nothing!'" Varian snapped as his eyes shot up to meet hers for a split second before flickering away.

Cassandra had half a mind to press the matter, but decided that she didn't care.

"Fine then," Cassandra sighed as she shoved his buckets in his hands. "Now let's get back to camp before the sun rises." 

Cassandra could feel the dirty look he gave her back as they walked through the trees, but she ignored it. It was nothing special, really. When she shadowed her father, they'd gotten the exact same glare numerous times. It was the petty, childish hate such criminal scum holds towards the one with the power. There was nothing she could do about whatever Varian thought of her, he deserved it anyway and that was that. She was just doing what it took to keep him under control, after all.

The sky was just starting to turn gray as they set their buckets next to one of the wheels and climbed into the caravan. The jerkwad dropped in his bed, curled up with his furry vermin and immediately fell asleep, which was a relief to Cass. That meant she didn't have to put up with him and his despicable voice any longer. 

When the sun began to peak above the trees, everyone got up and packed their things, leaving Hookfoot and the horses to keep watch over the caravan. They followed Rapunzel toward a small pink brick building in the middle of a narrow, treacherous path. 

"Is this it?" Eugene asked. "The Keeper's place?" 

Rapunzel smiled and squeezed the strap of her bag. 

"Let's find out," she answered, curiously approaching the building. Cassandra apprehensively followed behind her, Lance and Varian on her heels with Eugene covering their backs. 

"Stay together," Cassandra quietly ordered. 

"Well we are on a narrow, elevated road, so I'm not seeing too many other options!" Eugene bit out in a low voice. 

Cassandra narrowed her eyes as they silently neared the building. There were no signs of life. It felt far too much like a trap for her liking. 

"It's too quiet," the brat voiced before she could. 

Suddenly, a loud, booming roar echoed from above. Cassandra froze as the mountain shook in response and a few pebbles broke away and rolled down the mountainside before plunging into the depths below. 

"What is that?" Lance squeaked when it went quiet. 

"Well, it sounds to me like a-" 

"Quiet!" Cassandra hissed at Varian. "You want it to find us?" This earned her another dirty look, but the alchemist fell silent. Cassandra turned her attention back to the princess as she approached the door and knocked. The door swung open under her fist. 

"Uh, hello?" Rapunzel called into the darkness, but as soon as she did, a swarm of moths escaped from the doors, leading the princess to yelp and jump out of the way. Cassandra swiftly ducked down while Lance swatted at the moths, yelling and screaming about bugs. When they were gone, Rapunzel started to head in only to stumble back when smoke poured out from the doorway. Cassandra cowered back as a short red-haired woman emerged from the fog with an arm over her face. 

"H-h-hi, m-my name is Rapunzel," The blonde princess nervously stammered. "And I am looking for the-" 

"Keeper of the Spire? Look no further!" The woman interrupted in an obnoxiously grandiose voice as she lowered her arm to reveal her face. "I am the Keeper-" 

The woman's voice suddenly choked off as she began coughing and hacking until she coughed up a moth. 

"Swallowed a moth, again," she croaked as the winged critter flitted away. "Let me start over." 

In the same obnoxiously grandiose manner as before, the Keeper of the Spire approached them. 

"I am the Keeper of the Spire!" She declared. "But you may call me Calliope!" 

"Not what I expected," Eugene commented, "But okay." 

Cassandra raised an eyebrow at her. She was maybe half her height with a yellow tunic, a white and gold robe, giant glasses that framed her face and a few fly-away strands of scarlet hair that stuck straight up in the air. Something about the arrogant way she carried herself got on her nerves. 

The group followed Calliope into a room filled with books, dust, random artifacts and other bric brac. 

"So," Calliope asked, "What can the Keeper do for you?" 

"Actually, you see," Rapunzel cheerily began, "I heard you might be able to help me-" 

"As Keeper of the Spire," Calliope interrupted, "I have been entrusted wardship over the Spire's artifacts." Calliope frowned at Lance, snatching an artifact he was examining and putting it back on its display. "It is my sworn duty to prevent these items from falling into the wrong hands, and to protect them from the outside world." Calliope shot an obnoxiously suspicious glare at them. "Or in some cases," she dramatically added, "Protect the outside world from them." She smugly turned to them. "So, I'm kinda prestigious." 

Cassandra’s patience was already wearing thin. This was a mistake. She didn't come here for a speech about Calliope's glory, she came here for the scroll piece! 

"Oh, wow!" Rapunzel carefully answered with a very forced-looking smile. "That is impressive! So," Rapunzel reached into her bag, "I heard you could help me get the third piece of a scroll." 

"Mm hm, which scroll?" Calliope loftily asked. "There's the Scroll of Danbury, the Pavell Scroll, the Scroll of Tangeer, which isn't technically a scroll, more of a brochure." 

"Oh, this one!" Rapunzel chirped, presenting her with the first two pieces. 

"Ah, that scroll," Calliope answered. "That's in the Spire's vault." 

Cassandra repressed her sigh of annoyance. This was taking way too long! 

"Great!" Rapunzel cheered. "So, where is the Spire's vault?" 

"Spire," Calliope corrected. 

"Excuse me?" 

"It's pronounced Spire, it comes from spira, it's Latin, which is another language that I actually speak." 

Cassandra pressed her lips together. Was she kidding?! She opened her mouth to snap, but Varian cut her off, quietly muttering a very pointed-sounding sentence in a language Cassandra didn't recognize. The Keeper simply raised an unamused eyebrow. 

"Kid, the adults are talking," Calliope scornfully scoffed at him. "There's no place for gibberish here." 

"Actually, I just told you, in Latin, that it's actually Ancient Greek." 

Lance and Eugene silently chuckled while Calliope narrowed her eyes at him. 

"Yeah, I knew that," Calliope shortly grumbled. 

"So, where is the Spire's vault?" Rapunzel repeated. 

"No, no, no," Calliope interrupted. "Spire. Do you hear the difference?" 

"Spire," Rapunzel attempted in a slightly irritated tone. 

"Spire." 

"Actually, you're both incorrect," Varian growled, narrowing his eyes dangerously at Calliope. "It is pronounced, 'Spire.'" 

Everyone went silent, and Calliope's jaw dropped. Eugene and Lance awkwardly glanced at each other while Calliope's entire face turned as red as her hair. 

"Now," the devil-spawn sighed. "Do you have what we need, or not?" 

Calliope began angrily spluttering before whirling on Cassandra. 

"What kind of a mother are you?" Calliope scolded. "You really should've taught him better manners!" 

Cassandra flinched as a deep pain stabbed through her chest before quickly lunging forward and grabbing her by her shirt. 

"Excuse me?!" She roared. "How dare you call me the mother of that wretched little brat!" 

"Cass! Please!" Rapunzel exclaimed as she pulled them apart. Calliope shot her an irritated glance as she brushed her robes off. 

"Well, I saw the crows feet, and I just assumed," Calliope drawled. Lance burst out laughing, earning a withering scowl from Cassandra. His laugh quickly turned into a cough, and he choked out some excuse about swallowing one of the ever-present moths.

"At least your head isn't as weird as his," Calliope added. With that, she turned and sauntered towards a door. 

"Hey, slow pokes," she sneered over her shoulder. "Let's go." 

Cassandra shared a look with Rapunzel, then with Eugene and Lance, then reluctantly followed after Calliope with a certain scumbag on her heels. 

"Uh, guys," Varian muttered in a low tone, "Unless we want to be here all day, we should really-" 

Cassandra turned around and shushed him as Eugene and Lance followed Rapunzel through the door Calliope had taken. The windbag's face indignantly twisted, and he opened his mouth to argue.

Hello, Cassa-

"For the sake of Herz Der Sonne's Journal, would you please shut up?" Cassandra hissed as she pinched the bridge of her nose. She just could not today, not with him or this Calliope! 

"What's your problem?" Varian whispered with a frustrated, raised eyebrow. Cassandra paused. How could you tell someone that hearing their voice made you see things only you could see, hear things no one else could hear, feel things that weren't actually there? How did you explain that just the sound of their voice dragged you off to a time you never wanted to experience again without getting all touchy-feely? Without falling apart and breaking down? How could you even put such a thing into words? 

Cassandra quickly slapped together a response that didn't involve all of that. 

"I'd really rather you be seen and not heard," Cassandra bit out, choosing to ignore the way he flinched. "Now come on, let's go get Miss Condescending to give us that scroll piece." 

Cassandra and the psychopath headed into a dusty room filled with stacks of books, with bookshelves filled with tomes all the way up to the ceiling, just as Calliope ducked behind a wooden desk. 

"...the vault's map." Calliope poked her head above the desk. "The Spire's vault holds hundreds of the rarest, most abstruse artifacts from all over the globe." Calliope suddenly jumped over her desk and approached Rapunzel. "I noticed you were eyeing my linking rings," she drawled, grabbing a set of metal rings from a hook on the wall. "I am something of a master ILLUSIONIST!" 

Calliope spun in a circle and lifted the rings in the air. Cassandra groaned as she twirled the rings around a few times before disappearing in a cloud of smoke. Was there nothing about this woman that wasn't horribly vexing?! 

"Tada!" Calliope cheered when the smoke disappeared to reveal her rings were gone, only for them to fall out of her sleeve. Rapunzel slowly clapped for her, but oh, was Cassandra done with this lady! 

"Thank you, thank you," Calliope crowed. Just when Cassandra thought she couldn't possibly be any more annoying, she added, "Did I hear someone say, 'encore?'" 

"You most certainly did not," Cassandra snarled, but before she could say anything else, Rapunzel stopped her with her hands on her shoulders. 

"Cass," Rapunzel ground out through gritted teeth and a strained smile. "It's just one more trick, what's the harm?" 

One more trick turned to five more tricks, then ten more tricks, then twenty more tricks, then Cassandra lost count at thirty-seven. The candles burned low as the clock ticked by, and Cassandra soon began to develop a headache, she was so irritated. 

As the early evening rays of the setting sun cast a golden glow around the place, Cassandra glanced at the others from her seat on the floor. Lance was flat on his back, dozing off. The oxygen thief had his nose in a book with a stack of five books next to him that he'd clearly already read. Ruddiger was curled up in a ball on the floor, fast asleep. Eugene looked just as miserable as Cassandra felt. Rapunzel had a wide, forced smile pasted on her face. Pascal was stretched out on Rapunzel's shoulder, flatly frowning at Calliope. 

"And for my next trick-" 

"NO!" Varian shouted in a raspy tone, slamming his book closed and smacking it on his stack of tomes with a loud thump . "NO MORE TRICKS!" 

Calliope gave him a very scathing, scolding glare while Ruddiger chittered in protest of being woken up so forcefully. 

"No more tricks," Eugene elaborated, standing and waking Lance, "Because these tricks blew our minds! We need some time to process all the spectacle and wonderment!" 

Now let the record show that Cassandra would never admit to such a horrible thing out loud, but Fitzherbert was a genius and this was the first and last time she’d ever say so!

Silently thanking Eugene for getting her out of this torture, Cassandra jumped to her feet while Eugene took one of Rapunzel’s arms. 

"Yes!" Cassandra agreed while taking her other arm. "Yes, in fact, Rapunzel," Cassandra forced a big smile, "Would you care to join us in processing? Outside? NOW?!"  

Once outside, the group huddled in the doorway to talk. 

"Make her give us the scroll, and let's get out of here," Cassandra hissed as she took Rapunzel by her shoulders. "She's one of the most annoying people I've ever met, she's almost as bad as-" 

"Cassandra, relax," Eugene tactfully muttered with a warning side-eye, and Cassandra released the Princess's shoulders. "Now, I know Calliope is insanely irritating, but we're talking about Rapunzel here! She doesn't even know how to get annoyed with people! I mean look at that fa-" 

Eugene trailed off when they saw the look on Rapunzel's face. Her smile was as thin and brittle as the thinnest paper in the thinnest book in Queen Arianna’s library, her eyes bugged out and strained as one eyelid twitched like a butterfly’s wings.

"Oh no," Eugene breathed. "She's annoying you, isn't she?" 

Pascal nodded while she hesitated. 

"No!" Rapunzel answered with a cheerful smile. "No, she's not annoying, she's just different! Besides, it doesn't matter what I think, she's gonna give us the scroll soon, and we will be on our way." 

"Okay, we're all set!" Calliope announced from a window above. "I can get you that third piece." 

"Great!" Rapunzel answered. "So where's the-" 

"Well, bonsoir," Calliope interrupted. 

"Wait. What?!" 

"It's French. It means, 'I'm off to bed.'" 

Off to bed... what?!? Was Cassandra hearing this right?! Did she seriously waste their entire day on magic tricks for nothing? 

"But I thought we were gonna get the scroll from the vault," Rapunzel called to her. 

"Oh, no, silly girl," Calliope laughed. "It's all the way on top of the mountain in a vault called the Spire." 

"But then we'll-" 

"It's a full-day climb," Calliope interrupted. "I'll need a full-night's rest before I take that on. Hence, bonsoir." 

And despite Rapunzel's protests, Calliope closed the window, leaving them out there alone. 

"Okay!" Rapunzel chirped. "So, I guess we'll just camp out here! Without a caravan. Or a tent." 

"Still don't think she's annoying?" Eugene groaned. As if things weren't bad enough already, lightning cracked through the sky, and the next thing Cassandra knew, she was soaked by a sudden downpour. Cass rolled her eyes. 

"How about now?" 

When the rain finally calmed after a few hours, the group camped out on the road, and Cassandra was finally able to get some sleep. 

She found herself lost in a field dotted with black rocks. The full moon hung low in the navy blue night sky, the wind forlornly whistling through the air. Where was she? 

"Hey there, Cass, not Cassie," Varian’s voice said from behind. "I've been looking all over for you." 

Cassandra drew her sword and turned to find him leaned against one of the rocks giving her his old goofy, innocent, lopsided smile. Something about this made her uneasy. 

"What are you doing here?" Cassandra quietly asked. 

"What do you mean?" Varian asked back. He pushed himself off the rock and approached her. "I'm back, Cassie," he continued, grinning as he looked up at her with those big, innocent baby blue eyes. "It's so good to see you." 

Cassandra lowered her sword and jumped when he suddenly hugged her tight. 

"I've missed you so much," Varian murmured, his voice muffled by Cassandra’s shirt. Cass found herself hugging him back. 

"I've missed you too," she softly admitted, protectively holding her little friend close. 

Varian pulled away as he sweetly smiled up at her. Cassandra couldn't help but smile back. 

"I'm glad you're back, kid," Cassandra fondly told him. She’d missed that goofy, inperfectly perfect toothy grin he was giving her-

Then his smile suddenly morphed into a sinister smirk, the innocent joy in his eyes turning to sadistic glee. 

"Hello, Cassandra," Varian sneered at her. "I always knew I could sweep you off your feet!" 

Before Cass could shove him away, Varian vaporized into thin air. 

"Did you really think I actually cared about you?" Varian’s voice cackled from behind. Cassandra turned back and lifted her sword, but the alchemist wasn't there. 

"Cassandra! Help me!" Her father shouted from off in the distance. 

"Cass!" Rapunzel’s voice cried out. "Cass, please, help!" 

Cassandra ran towards their voices as they cried out to her, dodging obsidian black rocks as she went, but she couldn't find them anywhere!

“Dad?” Cass yelled out. “Rapunzel! Where are you?!”

"Cassandra!" A random townsfolk shouted. Cassandra froze as the people of Corona began to crowd around her, all screaming her name. 

"Cassandra! Help us!" Feldspar begged her. 

"Help us, Cassandra!" Stan and Pete pleaded. "Please, we need you!" 

"Cass!" Eugene cried out. "Help us, please!" 

"Cassandra! We need your help!" King Fredrick bellowed. "Do something, please!" 

Suddenly, a familiar metal claw clamped around her torso and lifted her into the air. No no no-

"Let me go, Varian!" Cassandra snapped as automatons began to surround the crowd of panicked people desperately crying out for her. 

"You can’t save any of them, Cass," Varian sneered, his voice distorted by his machine. "You're worthless!" 

"No!" Cassandra yelped, struggling against her restraints as the automatons began to attack. The frightened voices screaming her name quickly became drowned out by Rapunzel's voice. 

"Cass! Help!" She cried. Cassandra saw her there, in the crowd, with Varian holding her by her hair and smirking up at Cassandra. 

"You can’t protect her, Cassandra!" Varian taunted her. Before Cassandra could stop him, amber sprung from his hands, quickly encasing her best friend in an orange grave. 

"Varian! Stop!" Cassandra cried out, but the alchemist was unrelenting. The voices begging for her help began to die out, one by one, as the automatons destroyed every last citizen of her home until nothing was left but the grassy ground, painted a sickly dark red. And no matter how hard Cassandra struggled to break free and rescue her people, her pleas fell on deaf ears and there was nothing she could do to protect them from their gruesome fates.

And it was all Varian’s fault. 

"Cassandra!" Her father’s voice shouted into the silence. "Help!" 

"Dad!" Cass shouted back as she watched Varian’s monster advance on him. "No! No no no, not my Dad, please-" 

Her father howled in pain as the monster tore into him like a rabid beast, leaving him half-dead and bleeding on the ground. Cassandra felt the air whoosh from her lungs as she gazed down at her father’s broken, bloodied face, but only one tear had time to spill over her cheek before the metal claw lifted her to Varian’s crazed visage from inside the machine and she was forced to tear her eyes away. 

"It's not enough," Varian growled, "Until you endure the same amount of pain and agony I have!" 

The metal claw shook as he pulled a few levers inside his machine, then began to crush her. Cassandra kicked and struggled, but creak went his levers and grooooaaaaaan went the hand. There was nothing she could do to save herself as her vision spotted, then started to go black-

"AAAAHHHHHH!" Cassandra shrieked as she quickly sat up from her spot on the ground next to Rapunzel. She immediately clawed the golden hair she'd used as a blanket away from her body and tugged at her curls. 

"Cass!" Rapunzel exclaimed, grasping her wrists and pulling her hands away from her head. "It's okay, it's just a dream!" 

Cassandra stared at Rapunzel, wide-eyed and trembling, and Rapunzel offered her a comforting smile as Cassandra calmed herself down. She blushed when she realized that both Lance and Eugene were staring at her, looking more than a little disturbed. 

"Cass," Rapunzel murmured as she slowly released her hands. "Are you okay?" 

"I'm fine, Raps," Cassandra quietly answered, averting her eyes. Her gaze fell on the waste of space who orchestrated this entire mess. He was curled up in a tight little ball on the steps to the building using his apron as a blanket and his satchel as a pillow, fast asleep with his back to them. 

"Are you sure you're okay?" Rapunzel asked. "That must've been some dream you had-" 

"I said, 'I'm fine!'" Cassandra snapped as she quickly turned on her best friend. Rapunzel flinched back with a hurt expression on her face. Cassandra took a deep breath and forced a smile. "I'm okay, Raps," she lied. "Really." 

Rapunzel frowned for a long moment, clearly seeing right through her ruse and debating whether or not she should push it. Then she smiled. 

"Okay, Cass," she answered, yawning as she settled back in her mound of hair. "Good Night." 

"Night," Cassandra mumbled, laying back down and pulling her section of hair over her shoulder. She scowled at Varian’s sleeping form as his words from her dream echoed in her head. 

You can’t save any of them, Cass. You're worthless!

Chapter Text

Varian flinched as he woke up from another nightmare, holding his breath with his hand pressed over his mouth as he waited for his racing heart to calm. His free hand swiftly rubbed at his wrists, making sure he was still free of his bonds as a metallic sensation lingered from his dream. Then he reached out towards Ruddiger, stroking his nose with gentle, quivering fingertips. The raccoon curled up closer to Varian, soothing him with a low purr.

Varian held still, slowly releasing his breath as he pretended to be asleep. The last thing he wanted to deal with was an attempt from Dr. Big Ears to get him to talk. How many times did Varian have to tell Eugene that he didn't want to talk about his nightmares, or his feelings, or his bruises, or his father?! It was cruel! Nothing he could say would make it stop hurting! Nothing anyone could say would bring his father back! 

And even if he did want to talk about the bruises, or about Cassandra, he didn't trust Eugene or Lance for a second to believe him or do anything about it. Varian was just gonna have to suffer through it in silence and know that there was no hope of making it stop until they returned to Corona. 

However long that might be. 

Varian glanced up, over by his coat which he’d laid out to dry after the rainstorm of the evening before, at the beaker a few feet from his head. His heart sank when he saw that it’d barely collected enough rainwater for a mouthful. Urgh, he knew he shouldn't have guzzled the whole thing before he went to bed, but he couldn't help himself! He was so ravenously thirsty that he just couldn't resist it! After all, thanks to Cassandra, he no longer had a water canteen. It was ruined beyond repair, and even he couldn't salvage it. And it wasn’t like he was about to subject himself to more dismissals and pain, so the broken remains were currently at the bottom of a ditch somewhere. Ergo, he hadn't had anything to drink all day, so when it’d rained, he’d taken full advantage of the storm. He just wished he’d saved more of it than he had right about now…

He forced himself to tear his eyes away from the beaker. He was so thirsty, and he wanted the water inside it more than anything else. His lips were cracked and dry as dust, his mouth felt like cotton and his chest just ached for it. But he would need it even more in the morning, so he had to conserve it. Then he just needed to make it through the day, and then he could have as much water as he wanted at the caravan. 

Varian flinched again as Cassandra suddenly shrieked. He quickly looked over his shoulder to see everyone bolting upright in response, Rapunzel pulling Cassandra’s hands away from her hair and comforting her. He immediately turned away again as Cass coldly assured everyone that she was fine. 

And she said he was a liar! 

Varian turned tense as he felt her glare daggers into his back. It made him want to crawl out of his skin like some reptilian creature, and he tried not to think about the insults she'd been throwing his way but he just couldn't help himself. 

Excuse me?! How dare you call me the mother of that wretched little brat! 

She's one of the most annoying people I've ever met, she's almost as bad as Varian!

You little demented freak! I told you to wait until we get back to camp!

If it were up to me, we would've left you to rot in Corona just like you said we should've!  

He curled tighter around himself and bit his lip. Truth be told, Varian didn't know how much longer he could take this. It was, well, it was starting to get to him. Something about constantly getting grabbed at and slapped around and insulted and snapped at just for the crime of existing was wearing him down like sandpaper rubbing his skin until he was raw, like a woodpecker picking at him and picking at him and picking at him until there was nothing left of him and nothing left to pick at. But it wasn't like Varian really had a choice here. Varian had never gotten a choice in this. He had to stay strong, letting Cassandra break him wasn't an option. He had no choice other than to be strong. 

Varian resisted the urge to snatch that beaker and drink the contents as he forced himself to ignore Cassandra’s piercing scowl and the dull, mild ache in his head. He pulled the hem of his apron closer to his chin like the makeshift blanket it was serving him as, closed his eyes and attempted to get some rest. 

After several long hours, the sun finally began to peak over the horizon, and not a moment too soon. Varian had been pleadingly staring at the beaker for the better half of an hour, unable to think about anything else, he was so thirsty. He immediately grabbed the makeshift cup, but before he could drink the contents, Ruddiger gave him a small whine. He frowned at the raccoon, who returned it with wide, begging eyes. Varian’s heart sank. He'd been waiting all night for the water! But... Ruddiger didn't get any water at all yesterday, and his needs were just as important as Varian’s. 

"Okay, we'll have to share it," Varian whispered. "I'll drink half, and then you can have the rest, okay Buddy?" 

Just as Varian brought the glass to his lips, the door banged open, Calliope sauntering out and crashing into him. The beaker fell from his hand and smashed on the steps, where the contents were immediately absorbed into the ground. 

"Ugh, can't you watch where you're going?" Calliope scolded Varian before he could react. "Look at the mess you made!" With that, Calliope strolled past him and to the rest of the group. 

Varian glanced from Calliope's retreating form, to the broken glass on the ground, his heart sinking down into his stomach. Now he and Ruddiger had nothing! How was he supposed to make it through the day?! He was so parched, it was torture! 

Then his gaze landed on Ruddiger, who looked just as worried and scared as Varian felt. Varian couldn't let it consume them. 

"Okay..." Varian hesitantly muttered. "Um… I-I think I see some trees further up the mountain, and-and the leaves will be enough to keep you hydrated, so you'll… so you'll be okay… I-I'll, uh, get some water when we get back to the caravan, okay? Until then, we...we just have to make it through the day." Varian’s shoulders slumped as Ruddiger softly chattered at him, his frightened eyes telling him exactly what he'd be saying if he could speak. "I know, Buddy," Varian mumbled, "But I'll be okay." He straightened his back, his eyes cautiously drifting to Cassandra before he ripped them away and focused back on Ruddiger. "I have to be." 

Varian watched everyone else get themselves ready for the day while he put on his apron and tied the straps behind his back. He watched the annoyed glares everyone gave Calliope as she began condescendingly calling them slow pokes while he pulled on his gloves and slipped his vest over his thin shoulders. Then he quickly averted his eyes when Cassandra took a drink from her water container and pulled his goggles over his head. He tugged on his coat, slung the strap of his bag over his shoulder and stood, with Ruddiger at his side. 

Then he groaned in pain and pressed his fingers to his temples. The dull ache in his head had turned into a slow, steady, throbbing pain that beat against his skull. But Varian lowered his hands and sucked a deep breath in through his nose. He could tolerate it. He just had to suck it up. 

Birds chirped from the sky. Varian gazed up at the rising sun as it colored the cloudy sky a rich golden hue, a stone settling in his stomach when he realized what day it was. By King Fredrick’s Royal Boxers, his life had been such an agonizing mess that he'd nearly forgotten about it. How pathetic was that?

This day was panning out to be worse and worse by the second, and the sun wasn’t even done rising yet! And out of all of the days it could be!

Varian pressed his lips together as Calliope continued to yell, gritting his teeth and narrowing his eyes before hoarsely admitting what day it was under his breath. 

"Happy freaking birthday, Varian." 

Half an hour later the group was following Calliope up the mountain while she continued to bark about their pace. Varian swore on his father's pumpkin patch, Calliope had to be the most condescending, irritating, arrogant, awful woman he'd ever met! In fact, she was more condescending than Rapunzel, more irritating than Lance, more arrogant than Eugene and almost as awful as Cassandra! On top of that, she tried to make herself look better and smarter than everyone else, but half of the facts she rolled off were completely wrong! She clearly had no idea what she was doing! 

Varian tried to ignore how badly Calliope was annoying him while she spouted off incorrect information about the trail, (made of indigenous rocks, his left foot!) but his mind only carried him to how thirsty he was. How his mouth hurt it was so dry, how his throat was so sore. So he tried to ignore that too, but then his mind carried him to how horribly hot it was. How the sun beat down on his back and soaked into the dark fabric of his jacket. He was surprised he wasn't sweating, in fact, his skin was almost as dry as his mouth. He pulled off his coat and tied it around his waist while he tried to distract himself from the heat, but that only revealed the slightly sore feeling in his muscles, which only reminded him of his headache. Man, his head hurt! A sharp pain stabbed at his temples when Calliope loudly shouted at them to hurry up, reminding him all over again how annoyed he was with her. 

Talk about a happy birthday. 

Varian’s birthday had never been a big deal. His father did get him a small gift every year with an absent-minded birthday wish, why, that was how he got his goggles and apron when he turned six, but birthdays just weren't his dad's thing. He had some very fuzzy memories of a red haired woman he assumed to be his mother giving him a little birthday cake and making a big deal out of his birthday, but Varian didn't really remember all that much about her. He never had any friends to celebrate his birthday with, and it really wasn't all that different from any other day, but at least his dad gave him a little attention. At least his father was there. 

At least he wasn't being forced to do a death march up a mountain as the prisoner of the people who took his father from him. 

Varian’s thoughts were interrupted by another roar from further up the mountain. 

"What is that thing?!" Lance squeaked. 

"Oh, it's nothing," Calliope brushed him off. Varian opened his mouth to tell Lance about the Kurlocs that lived in the mountains around here, but before he could make a sound, he glanced at Cassandra. 

I'd really rather you be seen and not heard. 

Varian closed his mouth. It wasn't worth it. She'd just tell him to shut up. As if just the sound of his voice was about as pleasant as the sound of nails on a chalkboard. And even if she didn't silence him, or ask him if she’d given him permission to speak as if he should need her approval for the massive inconvenience of having a voice, it wasn't like anyone else would listen to him, much less take him seriously. He might as well save his breath. 

Eventually they came to a dead end, requiring them to climb up the sloping mountainside in order to use the path above. Varian’s hands ever-so-slightly trembled as they used Rapunzel's hair to scale the terrain. Why was he so tired all of a sudden? And why did everything ache so much? He used to travel long distances all the time and never had this problem. But now he just had this all-encompassing sore feeling all over, all down his arms and legs and over his back and pulsing behind his forehead. What was wrong with him?! 

In his fatigued state, his grip slightly slipped and he skidded backwards, his boot almost hitting Calliope square in the face. He quickly tightened his hands before he could fall. 

"Hey!" Calliope snapped at him. "Watch it up there, you ding dong!" Varian winced as his head throbbed in protest. 

"Please tell me we're near the top of the Spire," Rapunzel groaned from down below. 

"Spire," Calliope corrected, and all Varian could do was roll his eyes and continue on while Rapunzel squeezed the squeakiest stress ball ever known to man!

When they reached the top, Lance hung back, falling in stride with him.

“You don’t look so good, Little Man,” Lance observed. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Varian grumbled as he made to brush him off.

“You sure?” Lance asked. “Because-”

“Lance, I’m fine!” Varian snapped. Lance sighed.

“Okay… if you’re sure…”

Calliope led them directly towards a patch of golden orange leaves. Leaves that Varian would recognize anywhere. And Varian wasn’t about to just go waltzing through a patch of poisonous plants like that. He’d really rather avoid a rash on his feet, thank you very much! 

"Uh, hey, that's Ulmus spp, also known as poison elm," he warned Calliope. "It's sap causes dermatitis, we should go around." 

Calliope scoffed without even looking at him. 

"Don't you have any respect for your elders, boy?" Calliope loftily belittled him. 

"I just don't want to-" 

"It's rude to talk back to adults, you know," Calliope interrupted. "And besides, I'm sure if there was poison elm on the Spire , I'd know." 

Lance suddenly sprinted across the poisonous foliage, frantically itching at numerous rashes on his skin. 

"Now," Calliope groaned as she began detouring away. "Can we just go around, like I suggested before Mr. Know-It-All got involved?" 

Varian rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. 

"You're one to talk." 

"What was that?!" Calliope exclaimed. 

"You heard me," Varian growled. "You-" 

"That’s enough, Varian!" Cassandra sharply cut him off with a glower that left no room for discussion. "Zip it!"

"Yeah, what she said," Calliope agreed. "Goodness gracious, you're disrespectful! Whoever raised you did a lousy job." 

Varian was speechless. The rest of the group moved past him, but his boots were glued to the ground. His heart felt like it'd been stomped on. He tightly clenched his teeth and balled his hands into fists at his sides as his lip began to quiver, but somehow he couldn't cry. It was like his eyes were so dried out that they couldn't produce the tears. 

"Hey," Eugene murmured, snapping Varian out of it. "You okay? That was really mean of her." 

"I'm fine, Eugene," Varian hissed through his teeth. 

"You sure?" Eugene asked. "What Calliope said about your dad-" 

"Drop it, Eugene!” Varian snapped. “I don't want to talk about my dad!" Eugene put a hand on his shoulder, and Varian automatically shrugged it off before bitterly following after the group. He glared hard at Calliope, and every part of him itched to get over there and give her a piece of his mind. How dare she insult his father like that! 

Then he glanced at Cassandra again. 

That’s enough, Varian! Zip it!

Ruddiger seemed to sense how upset Varian was, because he climbed up his back and nuzzled his cheek. Varian found himself lifting his furry companion from his shoulders and hugging him tight. Ruddiger pawed at his nose before soothingly resting his head on Varian’s shoulder. Varian didn't tell Ruddiger anything, he didn't have to. Perhaps it was just for the best that he be seen and not heard. 

The group followed Calliope onto a very narrow, treacherous path. Varian couldn't help but gaze into the depths below, and somehow the sight made him light-headed. He tore his eyes away and tried to ignore how much his mouth hurt. Oh, was he parched! How he longed to quench his thirst, for even a drop of water on his tongue! But he couldn't allow himself to give in!

"Aw, come on, there had to be a safer way up this thing," Lance moaned. To make matters worse, another roar of the Kurloc echoed through the mountain. "I don't know what that was," Lance added, "But I don't wanna run into it." 

Varian went to keep going as Rapunzel reassured Lance only to realize that Calliope had stopped, grinding the group to a halt. 

"Calliope?" Rapunzel called. "Is something wrong?" 

"No, no," Calliope nervously answered. "I just, uh..." Calliope began muttering into her map, her words unintelligible. 

"What?" Rapunzel asked. "What? I-I-I can't hear you." 

"I said...this is...the wrong way?" 

Varian stared at her, uncomprehending. So they went on a perilous path that could send them to their deaths at any minute... and she took them...the wrong way?! 

Before Varian could chew her out, Cassandra spoke for him. 

"You took us the wrong way?!?" Cassandra demanded in a low voice. 

"No, no, it wasn't my fault!" Calliope defensively exclaimed. "There were-" 

Varian’s hands flew to his head when a loud roar vibrated the ground beneath his feet. His skull felt like it was splitting in two. He bit his lips to keep from crying out, his pained yelp coming out as a whimper instead. 

"What is that?" Eugene frantically asked. 

"It's real," Calliope gasped, her voice trembling with fear. "The protector of the Spire!" Varian squeezed his eyes shut against the pain while Calliope helpfully identified their disgruntled company.

“The Kurloc!”

"Uh, Calliope, what do we do?" Rapunzel asked as Varian forced himself to open his eyes and face the animal, a huge, furry beast with large, curling horns and a malevolent scowl. Calliope began anxiously spluttering, which was no help at all, and he attempted to summon what he knew about the Kurloc, but between his headache and light-headedness, he couldn't remember anything. He winced and pressed his hands to his ears when it roared again. 

"I'm gonna go with, run!" Eugene shouted, taking Varian by his arm and forcing him to scurry after him. Calliope began screaming in fear, and the sound nearly dropped him to his knees, but he pressed his hands tighter to his ears and kept running. 

"This way!" Eugene ordered, pulling Varian through a small, thread-like opening. The ex-convict released his arm once everyone had safely made it into the cave, and Varian slid along the rocky wall to the ground. 

"You okay, Goggles?" Eugene asked. "You don't look so good." Varian turned his head away from him and nodded. 

“Hm, I don’t buy it,” Eugene pressed. “What’s going on? You coming down with another bug or something?”

His eyes drifted to Cassandra, who was frustratedly whispering something to Rapunzel and shooting furtive glances at Calliope, before he glued his eyes to the ground. All this talking was just hurting his head. So he pulled his knees to his chest and rested his smarting forehead against them. 

“I’m fine,” he hoarsely whispered.

"No you're not, you're-"

"Eugene, I'm fine."

Sighing, Eugene turned away and went to check on Rapunzel. Varian cradled his head in his arms, not quite processing the conversation going on around him as his temples throbbed painfully and fogged their words over. A little tug at his sleeve alerted him to Ruddiger's presence, and Varian slowly, laboriously looked to his furry companion to see him tilt his head in worry.

"I-I'll be f-fine, Ruddiger," Varian mumbled, tiredly resting his head on a rock behind him. "I just don't feel good today."

Varian’s legs were really starting to hurt. He felt stiff all over, and he couldn't quite figure out why. So he chalked it up to the fact that he'd been traveling up a mountain all day. After all, his feet were starting to blister beneath his boots, it'd be weird if he wasn't getting sore muscles too.

He winced as the ground rumbled, making his headache worse, then slowly sat up to see a hole in the ceiling of the cave with a rocky ramp leading up to it. The rest of the crew were congregated around it.

Varian’s body begged him to sit back down as he dragged himself to his feet, but one look at Cassandra and he ignored it. If he didn't keep going, Cassandra would do whatever it took to force him. It just wasn't worth it. So he sluggishly climbed up the boulders at the back of the group and into the sunlight above. 

Before Varian stood a huge, sky-scraping structure unlike anything he'd ever seen before. The Spire stood tall in all its glory, with massive doors bigger than the trees which surrounded the towering building. It was a magnificent cerulean hue with darker shades of blue twisting around it as it tapered up into the sky before disappearing above the clouds, and its splendor easily put the castle of Corona to shame. If Varian wasn't so miserable, he'd've been in awe.

Varian watched Calliope saunter up to the double doors, pull out a ring of keys and start trying each and every one in the lock. He raised an eyebrow. If she was the Keeper, shouldn't she know which was the right key?

This gave way to a slew of other questions. If Calliope was the Keeper, then how didn't she know about the Ulmus spp? Why did she freeze up when they faced the Kurloc? For that matter, how come she didn't know the Kurloc was real? Why did she take them the wrong way? Why did she get so excited when they arrived? 

Varian’s eyes went wide as it dawned on him.

"Guys, she's an imposter!" Varian sharply whispered. "She's not the real Keeper of the Spire!"

"What do you mean? Of course she is!" Lance whispered back. 

"Varian, that's nonsense," Eugene added. "She might be really bad at her job, but she's definitely-"

"Uh, guys?" Rapunzel interrupted, gesturing to a giant paw print on the ground. Varian frowned, then followed the tracks alongside Eugene and Lance to a large cave surrounded by bones.

"I don't like the looks of that," Eugene warily remarked.

"Oh, that's bad," Lance agreed.

"Uh, guys," Rapunzel concluded, "I think this is its home."

As if to prove the princess's point, the Kurloc's roar echoed through the clearing. Varian couldn't suppress his agonized yelp this time as he pressed his hands to his head. The sound vibrated through his bones, turning the throbbing in his head to pounding. Varian choked on a sob, his hands clamped on his temples, and made himself hurry back to Calliope on Lance’s heels while she continued trying keys.

"Calliope!" Eugene exclaimed. "Now would be a great time to get that door…open!"

"I'm trying!" Calliope frantically answered, trying keys faster. "Come on, come on key! I'm trying!"

The Kurloc charged at them with a ferocious roar, and Varian cried out again as a skull-splitting pain shot through his head.

Cassandra swiftly took Calliope by her robes. 

"Open the door!" Cassandra barked. "NOW!"

"I don't know which is the right key!"

Lance pulled Varian out of the Kurloc's path and dove to safety. The two of them crashed hard on the ground next to Eugene. 

"What do you mean?" Rapunzel angrily shouted at Calliope. "You're the Keeper of the Spire! How could you not know which is the right key?!"

"Because I… I'm… not the… real Keeper of the Spire…"

Varian rolled his eyes with a flat, deadpan scowl. He knew it! He told them she wasn't the real Keeper! Why didn't anyone ever listen to him?!

Then he glanced at the Kurloc, whose horn was caught in the door. Varian might've been in too much pain to remember anything, but even he could tell that it wouldn't hold him for-

His thoughts were interrupted by Rapunzel lunging at Calliope, grabbing her tunic and pulling her close.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?" Rapunzel roared at her. "What do you mean, you're not the Keeper?"

At that moment, the Kurloc broke free. 

"Ah, Rapunzel, you might want to-"

"Stay out of this, Eugene!"

Varian flinched and resisted the urge to cradle his head with all his might when the Kurloc roared again, then ignored his exhaustion and sprinted as fast as his legs could carry him. He could do this. He knew how to run exhausted. He'd done it plenty of times in Corona, he should've been able to-

At the worst possible moment, a cramp tied one of his legs into a knot and dropped him to the ground. Varian clenched his teeth and tried to get up only to cry out and seize his calf as pain shot up to his thigh and down to his foot. Why?! Why did he have to deal with this NOW?!?

He tensed when the ground rumbled and the Kurloc charged at him. Then he was slung over a shoulder, and his surroundings began to spin as whoever had picked him up booked it for the trees. Varian rapidly grew nauseous as his head listlessly thumped against their back and their shoulder dug into his gut, but the nausea subsided a little when he was lowered to the ground. 

"Climb!" Cassandra ordered, grabbing his arms and turning him towards a tree. "Climb like your life depends on it! HURRY!" 

Varian gritted his teeth and ignored the pain long enough to climb out of the Kurloc's reach. As soon as he was seated on one of the branches, he promptly clutched his leg, biting his lip as it spasmed. That did little to silence his agonized groan, and Cassandra shot him a dirty glare as she pulled herself to a seat next to him. 

"Quiet!" She whispered. "You want that thing to find us?" 

"It hurts," Varian managed to force out through his teeth. "I'm sor... mph!" 

Just as Varian let out a pained yell, Cassandra clapped her hand over his mouth before his tortured shout could alert the Kurloc to their hiding spot. He began shivering as a vision passed through his line of sight: the Captain of the Guard, glaring at him while he desperately struggled against his assailant's hold on him with one arm around his neck and the other covering his mouth. They were in Varian’s lab, surrounded by guards hastily throwing his things around to search while the Captain handcuffed his wrists. Ruddiger cried out for him from within a very cramped-looking cage. 

"Where's the graphtyc?!"

The arrows that zipped past his frantic barrage of every alchemical formula he could get his hands on…

The rattle of his handcuffs as he ran for his life…

The sharp CRACK that filled the air…

"FIRE!"

The sting of a palm against his cheek as he begged for understanding…

The searing pain shooting through his shoulder and burning down his back as he desperately scrambled away from the leather weapon trying to subdue him…

"Varian!" Cassandra hissed. "Calm down!" Varian snapped back to the present and realized just how heavily he was breathing, gasping through his nose as his head grew light and fuzzy. His fingertips moved to grab her wrist and yank her hand away from his face only for another sharp pain to shoot through his leg, his calf practically growing a hard, twisting rock and thrusting it right where it hurt worst, and he was forced to grip it tighter instead. Her fingernails dug into his skin as a muffled moan escaped him, but he couldn’t help it! He hurt so much that he could hardly think straight! 

The branch shifted as someone landed next to him, and his eyes jerked up to see Eugene scooting across the branch until he was right at his side. He hadn't even realized he and Lance were nearby. 

"Fitzherbert, what did I just say?" Cassandra scolded him under her breath, but Eugene seemed to ignore her as his hands wrapped around his screaming leg, one around his knee and the other under the sole of his boot.

"Let him go, Cass," Eugene quietly ordered, his voice barely above a whisper. “You’re not helping.” Cassandra’s hand slipped away as he gently pulled his foot upward, stretching his lower leg. This time Varian’s groan was a mix of pain and relief as the movement tugged on the cramp.

"Shh, shh, easy, easy Goggles," Eugene softly soothed him as a hand pressed against his back. "Deep breaths, okay kid?"

Unable to snap at Eugene not to touch him through the pain, Varian tried his best to stay quiet, sucking a deep breath through his teeth while Eugene’s hands eased the torment down to a bearable agony. His eyes slipped closed and he sighed as the knot in his calf slowly loosened. As much as he hated to admit it, Eugene’s ministrations helped tremendously. 

"See, that's better, right?" Eugene whispered. "Now what else is going on?"

It would be so easy to tell him. His parched tongue begged to speak, to tell him just how awful he felt. 

I need water.

But his eyes darted to Cassandra’s boots. 

You have no one to blame but yourself!

"Nothing," he rasped instead. "I'm fine."

"Don't lie to us, Little Man!" Lance whisper-shouted from the next tree over.

"You look like crap, Goggles," Eugene bluntly agreed as he eyed him in concern. "What's wrong?"

For the sake of King Fredrick's cloak, would they lay off and stop suffocating him? He felt like a rabbit stuck in a snare! Why wouldn't they just leave him alone when he said so?

"Would you two pipe down?" Cassandra scolded them under her breath. "He said he's fine! I swear, it's like you want that thing to find us!"

And when Eugene and Lance backed off, he felt... both relieved and hurt. Why couldn't they see how she hurt him? Why couldn't they see how trapped he was? 

"I think it's gone," Eugene whispered as the Kurloc's roars went quiet. 

"I-I-I sure hope so," Lance stammered, "Because I don't wanna run into that thing again."

"Varian, can you walk yet?" Eugene asked. Varian bit his lip as another spasm shot through his leg, then shook his head. "Alright," Eugene continued as he addressed Lance and Cassandra. "Someone's gotta stay with him while we go get Rapunzel and Calliope. Lance, can you-"

"I'll do it," Cassandra gruffly volunteered. "I'll stay with the kid."

A flutter immediately shuddered through him, and he inwardly pleaded with Eugene and Lance for someone else, anyone else to be alone with him. He'd even take Rapunzel over Cassandra at this point, because at least Rapunzel didn't talk to him! Please, please, please no, please...

But Eugene and Lance simply shared a glance, oblivious to his silent, invisible cries as Eugene nodded. 

"Whatever," he sighed as he maneuvered Varian’s hands under his foot. 

"Keep it just like that, it'll help," he softly instructed as he made to climb down. "Make sure you drink some of your water, okay? It'll help you feel better."

And that hurt far too much to even think about correcting him as he and Lance left him alone with her .

Varian pretended to ignore Cassandra’s sharp, sour glare, and pressed his aching forehead against his knee. The cramp was going away, but it was just giving way to how his head somehow hurt even worse than before. Why did it hurt so much?!

Could it’ve been because of how thirsty he was? Who knows? It could've been from anything. It could've been-

"Just what game are you playing?" Cassandra suddenly growled.

"What are you talking about?"

"It seems like you’re suddenly dealing with some kind of problem every time that Kurloc comes around," Cassandra suspiciously elaborated. "Seems a little convenient, don't you think? Just like Adira's timing was convenient?"

"I don't understand…" Varian warily muttered, his head still resting on his knee and his hoarse voice muffled. "What… what are you saying?"

Out of the corner of his eye, he watched as Cassandra’s eyes went to slits.

"Adira only showed up after we took you in and just so happened to already know who you are and was immediately fond of you?" Cassandra hissed. "I'm not buying it."

"I have no idea what you mean," Varian defensively grumbled, turning his head to look at her while taking care not to make eye contact. "What does Adira have to do with any of this?"

"Adira is the reason we're in this mess," Cassandra accusingly continued. "She got us following the most annoying woman on the planet that you have no qualms with arguing with, and now, all of a sudden, you're having headaches and cramps conveniently timed exactly when we're being attacked by a weird furry ram-slash-bear thing?" Varian hunched his shoulders and froze as Cassandra leaned forward, getting into his space as she clamped a rough hand around his bruised arm and snarled right into his ear, "I don't buy it."

"Cassandra, what on earth are you…" Varian trailed off as her point dawned on him, slowly lifting his head. 

"You think I'm faking it…" Varian mumbled. He narrowed his eyes as his heart began to race. "You think I'm working with Adira and Calliope, and that I'm faking my headache so they can help me escape while you're distracted." The way Cassandra accusingly frowned confirmed it. 

"Listen, Cassandra," Varian angrily growled. "I might not be the most honest person around here, and I might not have the cleanest ledger, but I'm not faking anything. Trust me when I tell you, I have never met Adira or Calliope in my life." 

And it was true! This random lady with face paint and a tattoo on her hand that Varian absolutely didn't want to think about just showed up out of the blue, and she knew his name and seemed to like him, and Varian had no idea why. It wasn't like there was much to like about him. Unless it was because of those stupid rumors in Corona, how she knew him was far beyond him. He just knew that it weirded him out, and he just… he wasn't sure what he thought of her. He didn't think he liked her and her popping up out of nowhere and those random moments that he could feel her eyes on his back like the way they would pop up out of nowhere and the way he could feel their eyes on his back. 

"Well newsflash, I don't trust you as far as I can throw you," Cassandra fumed in a low snarl. "You've manipulated and lied to Rapunzel before, so I don't trust a word you say."

"And you think you're one to talk?" Varian retorted, flinching when a booming roar echoed through the trees. "After how you lied to Rapunzel last night?"

"What are you-"

"We all know something's wrong with you," Varian muttered. "We all know you’re lying to Rapunzel when you say you're fine, and that includes that dream you had last night. You really think you're in a position to preach to me?"

Cassandra was silent for a long time, her lips pursed and her eyes like two slits of gray-green fire. Varian rolled his eyes and turned away, wincing when the Kurloc roared again and his headache stabbed his temples. The Kurloc chased Calliope past their tree before running into a trap in the distance. 

"Whatever you're up to," Cassandra bitterly threatened, "Stop it. There's nowhere in the Seven Kingdoms that you can hide from me. Your little games have lasted long enough, and they just aren't gonna work with me." With that, Cassandra began to climb down and gestured for Varian to follow. 

Varian frowned. He didn't trust her not to hurt him to make him comply. Even if that meant making him act like he was fine when he absolutely wasn't. He really shouldn't've been surprised. Cassandra was definitely the type who would assume he was faking an illness, in fact, now that he thought of it, she assumed he was faking it when he came down with that awful stomach bug. But the utter misery he was in was absolutely real, and they couldn't even see him!

Varian glanced up at Ruddiger, who frowned down at him from the branch above, then ignored his fatigue the best he could and climbed down. He trudged towards the Spire behind Cassandra and rejoined the rest of the group. 

This was, by far, the worst birthday ever. 

Chapter Text

Rapunzel ran as fast as she could to escape the Kurloc. 

"You know, for a two thousand pound flesh eater, he is quite nimble!" Eugene cried as her gaze swept across the leafy treetops around them.

"Guys!” Rapunzel ordered. “The trees!" 

Just as they started splitting up, a pained yell pierced the air. Rapunzel slowed down long enough to see Varian curled up on the ground. 

"Keep going, Raps!" Cassandra shouted, doubling back to rescue the alchemist. "I got him!"

Rapunzel scooped up Calliope with one arm and used her hair to lasso a tree branch with the other. One swing through the air later and they were seated high on the leafy limb, safely out of the Kurloc's reach. 

Rapunzel scanned the surrounding woods, and in the distance, she made out Eugene and Lance in one tree and Varian and Cassandra climbing another. Then she turned her attention to the Kurloc, who was now clawing at the base of the tree.

Calliope let out a breathless, nervous chuckle, and Rapunzel scowled at her. Whoever she was, maybe if she'd been more honest, they wouldn't be in this mess! 

"We made it!" Calliope breathed, smiling at Rapunzel. The grin immediately dropped off her face when the imposter took in Rapunzel's expression. 

"Oh, right," Calliope sheepishly mumbled. "Ah, I lied to you." 

The tree began to shudder as the Kurloc started headbutting it, clawing at the bark as it tried to shake them down from their perch.

"Now, I can explain-"

"Yeah, I'm sure you can," Rapunzel interrupted, actually frustrated. "In twelve languages, no doubt." Rapunzel rolled her eyes, then continued. "Listen, I don't know who you are, but I trusted you! And I had to endure your condescension, and-and your insults, and I went against MY better judgment all because you said that you were the Keeper of the Spire!"

"It's Spire."

Rapunzel and Pascal simultaneously groaned. This lady was insufferable! But for the first time, Calliope seemed to actually notice how annoying she was. 

"Sorry," She whispered. 

"Who are you?" Rapunzel demanded. 

"I'm the Keeper's assistant," Calliope admitted, ashamed. "Or at least I used to be. Before that, I was just an incredibly talented… street magician." Calliope sighed. 

"I would perform my tricks in front of hundreds of people! Well… not really. It wasn't always appreciated." Calliope despondently stared at the ground below before her eyes lit up. 

"Then one day, the Keeper, the real Keeper, came up to me! Out of the blue! And asked me to be his apprentice. I had purpose, and I didn't want to mess it up! I wanted to learn everything I could about the Spire. I had to! It was going well… or at least, I thought it was." Her face fell.

"But a few months ago," Calliope mumbled, "The Keeper just… disappeared. And once again, I had no purpose."

Any resentment for Calliope faded at that. Rapunzel couldn't imagine how awful that must've felt. All that time… all by herself… thinking the one person she wanted to please with all her heart had abandoned her… suddenly Calliope seemed a lot less annoying. 

"That is… until… you came along."

Rapunzel snapped to attention as Calliope referred to her.

"Seeing you, someone with such a clear purpose, inspired me," Calliope explained. "Maybe I could be the Keeper. Maybe I could help you get that scroll."

"Why didn't you just tell us you weren't the Keeper?" Rapunzel asked. 

"Would you have accepted help from an apprentice?" Calliope asked. "Especially if you knew she was abandoned by her own master?" 

The Princess frowned as the apprentice thumped her forehead against the tree trunk. 

"I don't know," Rapunzel admitted. "But we probably wouldn't be up this tree right now."

"That's actually a really good point."

That was when an idea hit her. 

Maybe the best way to help Calliope… was to help her find her purpose. 

"Calliope," Rapunzel gently offered. "I still need that scroll piece."

Her face lit up at Rapunzel’s encouragement.

"And I still have one key I haven't tried," Calliope answered, presenting a single skeleton key to her.

"Great!" Eugene angrily shouted up to them, voice full of vexation. "That's great news! Why don't you use it to unlock the door before that thing comes back!"

Rapunzel frowned as she climbed down to where Eugene and Lance waited. Where were Cass and Varian? 

"Varian’s leg got cramped up," Eugene explained as if reading her mind. "Cass is keeping an eye on him."

Lance jutted his thumb towards their tree, where Varian and Cassandra were still seated on their perch. Varian was clutching one of his legs with his head resting on his knee. Cassandra had her arms crossed, and her eyes were like thunder. Rapunzel swallowed hard. Something was very wrong with her best friend. Rapunzel could tell she wasn't sleeping very well, and she was way more moody and irritable than usual. What’s more, she'd been randomly getting up and leaving camp with her shoulders trembling and her hands over her ears multiple times a day. She'd stopped practicing her warrior skills, having simply taken to angrily decimating whatever unfortunate bush stood in her path with her sword. The worst part was that whenever she tried to ask what was wrong, Cass would either clam up and insist that she was fine or lash out at her. Rapunzel was getting more worried every day. 

A loud roar interrupted her thoughts. Right. The Kurloc. 

The four of them tried to make a run for the door, but the furry beast was quick to block their way. 

"I specifically said BEFORE that thing comes back!" Eugene complained. 

"Well, I'm giving him points for persistence!" Rapunzel answered him. 

"I'll give it more points for letting us go nice and easy," Lance interrupted, his voice wavering. Of course, our heroes had no such luck, because the Kurloc lunged at them, forcing them to retreat. 

"That's a lot of points you just lost!" Lance shouted when they were a safe distance away. 

"We have to get it away from the door," Rapunzel declared. "Ideas, anybody?"

"Don't look at me," Calliope sighed, turning to face them. "I'm just a failed magician. If it doesn't involve flash, panache and sleight-of-hand, then I'm pretty much…" Her eyes widened, a small smile tugging at her lips. "Wait a second. Guys?" The apprentice produced a colorful string of magic handkerchiefs from her sleeve. "I think I have an idea."

About five minutes later, Rapunzel found herself hiding in another tree while Lance and Pascal used a fire to create fog. Eugene waited at his post while Calliope performed a magic show for the Kurloc. This plan… was pretty good. Calliope had done a great job coming up with a way to lure the beast away, in fact, Rapunzel loved how creative it was. And to her credit, the plan went off without a hitch. The blonde princess scooped Calliope out of the way right on cue, and Eugene and Lance used her hair to trip the Kurloc, sending it to the depths below. Rapunzel felt really bad for sending it into the poison elm, but hey, at least it couldn't hurt them anymore. 

Rapunzel glanced over her shoulder on their way back, noticing Cassandra coming to join them with Varian on her heels. Her mouth ran dry.

Varian looked rough.

His face was flushed, his eyes dazed and unfocused and sunken, his entire body shaking and his boots limply dragging across the dirt. He'd been shaking for hours, moaning and groaning at the slightest noises and clutching his head whenever the Kurloc roared. He'd been lethargic since late morning, and before that he'd been shifting between way more irritable than usual and quiet as a tomb. Now he was just quiet unless it was to cry out in pain. Rapunzel had asked Eugene and Cassandra what was going on multiple times, but Eugene explained that he wouldn’t tell them anything and Cassandra was convinced he was faking it. Well Rapunzel didn't believe that. He was very clearly not okay. She understood Cass's point that he'd manipulated people before, but he looked way too sick for it to be a ploy. If only he'd tell them what was wrong so they could fix it!

Rapunzel tried to think of any reason Varian might've been so sick. He'd gotten over the stomach flu, or else he still would've been throwing up. They made sure he had a water bottle right before going to bed the night before they left, so it couldn't’ve been dehydration. If it was a heat stroke, he would've fainted by now. Maybe he was just tired? But no, he'd been sick all day. Ugh! Why couldn't he ever just communicate his problems with them?! He was gonna get himself hurt if he kept it up! Rapunzel wanted nothing more than to heal whatever he was sick with, but she couldn't do that unless that stubborn teenager told people what was wrong! 

Rapunzel turned her attention back to Calliope as her final key opened the massive double doors.

The sight inside took her breath away. 

The inside of the Spire was even more magnificent than the outside. Rows and rows of shelves swirled all the way up its walls, filled with gadgets and gizmos and shiny contraptions. Calliope took her up a spiral staircase, and Rapunzel brushed her hands along the shelves filled with lovely little doodads, exploring them like a child in Monty’s Sweet Shoppe until they found their prize in a glass box. The scroll was held in a pretty stained glass container very similar to the windows on the caravan.

“The third scroll piece,” Rapunzel breathed as she took it in her hands and turned to Calliope. “And you got us here! You did it!”

“And I couldn’t be more proud,” A deep voice echoed from down the hall. Rapunzel and Calliope turned to the source, watching a tall, dignified elderly man emerge from the double doors, his elegant robes swishing gracefully at his feet.

“Keeper!” Calliope joyously cheered, hurrying across the room and throwing her arms around him.

“Calliope, you are now the Keeper of the Spire,” the Keeper proudly praised her. “You passed my test!” He fondly ruffled her hair. “Congratulations!”

Rapunzel grinned as she approached the pair.

“Wh-what?” Calliope uncertainly stammered as she pulled away. “I don’t understand.”

“I’m sorry for leaving you,” the Keeper apologized as he smoothed her hair down. “But I had to remind you why I chose you in the first place.”

“Why did you choose me?” Calliope asked.

“Your perseverance,” the Keeper answered, gesturing to the magnificent display around them. “This is the skill a keeper of such great artifacts must call upon in the face of adversity. And you did it! Not only with the Kurloc, but when you performed in front of an… aggressively indifferent crowd.”

Calliope chuckled at the boost.

“Their minds were too blown to clap. That’s all.”

“You persevered, Calliope,” the Keeper continued. 

“Wait,” Rapunzel interrupted. “There had to be an easier way to teach her that lesson! That beast thing almost killed us!”

“The Kurloc?” The Keeper laughed as he stood up. “He’s actually a loyal pet!” He turned back to Calliope. “As you will see when you train your own.” 

The Keeper gestured to a little door, where a tiny version of their pursuer crawled into view, waddled up to Calliope and climbed on top of her head. Rapunzel couldn’t help but smile when Calliope cooed in delight and the baby Kurloc began to chew on her hair. She had to admit, the furry little beast was pretty cute even as the Keeper made a comment about keeping it away from the furniture.

Outside, Calliope shook her hand with a bright smile on her face.

“Thank you, Rapunzel,” Calliope beamed. “Thank you for… everything!”

“I’m glad you found what you were looking for,” Rapunzel kindly answered.

“Too bad you couldn’t find my sword,” Cassandra grumbled from behind her, still sour about Calliope having lost her trusty blade.

“Oh, didn’t I?” Calliope loftily asked. Cassandra gasped and checked her sheath, and alas, it was still empty. The new Keeper laughed deep and heartily, and Rapunzel winced when Cassandra turned to look at her. Her face was drawn tight, her eye practically twitching. 

“Made you look!” Calliope taunted her as she began stalking towards the small woman. “Oh, you should see the expression on your face right now!”

Before the swordswoman could do something they’d all regret, Rapunzel and Eugene quickly hooked their arms around her elbows and began dragging her away.

“And when she’s making that expression,” Eugene grimly informed Calliope as they hurried away, “It means we should go. ”

Oblivious to the impending disaster, Calliope merely shrugged.

“Oh, okay then!” Calliope called after them. “Goodbye! And good luck with the scroll!”

"Oh, good riddance to her!" Cassandra hissed, shrugging off Rapunzel and Eugene and willingly walking away. 

"On the bright side," Rapunzel interjected, "We got our scroll, and if we hurry, we'll make it back to the caravan by nightfall."

“I dearly hope so,” Eugene grumbled, “Because if I have to see that Kurloc one more time, I am gonna scream!”

“I’m gonna scream if I hear one more insult from Lady Know-It-All!” Cassandra snarled, her arms crossed. And off the party went, taking their previous path down the mountain and towards the caravan.

Rapunzel nervously glanced at Varian as he trudged on at their heels, then leaned over to whisper in Eugene’s ear.

"Has he said anything yet?"

Eugene’s eyes worriedly flickered to the sickly teenager, then back to her.

"No, nothing," Eugene whispered back. "He just keeps saying he's fine!"

"Should we maybe make camp? Maybe some rest would help."

"Blondie, I hate to break it to you," Eugene muttered under his breath, "But I'd bet my last five gold coins that the Kurloc isn't the only hostile animal on the mountain, and I don't think braving it without camping gear again is a very good idea."

Rapunzel sighed at that. 

“But I’m getting worried,” Eugene added. “I-”

The pair glanced over their shoulders to see him hang his head and hug his shaking arms to his stomach as the soles of his boots dragged and slid across the road.

Maybe… maybe Rapunzel should try to talk to him and-

That thought was quick to glue her tongue to the roof of her mouth, to turn her lungs to bags of sand and her hands to a shuddering sweaty mess-

Eugene gave her a concerned frown, then slowed down until he was walking right by his side. As Cassandra swept past her to survey the path ahead, she pretended not to watch while Eugene started urgently talking to him. Varian’s flushed face remained as hard as stone, and a shiver ran down her spine as that look in his eyes made her think of the boy in the vault, his gaze stern and cold as he pocketed the flower…

Rapunzel gave Eugene a hopeful smile when he broke away from his conversation, but that immediately wilted as her boyfriend shook his head with a grim frown.

“What do we do?” Rapunzel softly demanded as he rejoined her.

"I vote to get back to the caravan as fast as we can, then take him to the closest village we can find and get him to a doctor," Eugene frankly answered. "If he won't tell us what’s bothering him, the doctor will."

Rapunzel nodded. That was probably the best they could do. But she chanced one more look over her shoulder to see Lance offer to carry him only for Varian to angrily wave him off with a trembling hand.

What were they gonna do if he wouldn’t talk?

Take him to the doctor. The doctor would have answers.

Varian was going to be okay.

He had to be.

They’d been traveling for a couple hours, making it about halfway down the mountain, when it happened.

“Aw, this poison oak stuff is the worst!” Lance complained as he itched and scratched at his skin. “How didn’t Calliope know we’d see an entire field on the way to the Spire?”

“Ahem, I believe it’s pronounced, Spire, ” Eugene cut in with a mock-stuffy voice.

“Well, we’re on track to make it back to the caravan about an hour before sunset!” Rapunzel cheerfully reassured him. “Once we make it back, I bet we can find you something for that rash.”

“If we don’t pass out, first,” Eugene sighed. “Who knew that getting a scroll piece would be so exhausting?”

“Don’t think of it as exhausting, ” Rapunzel admonished him. “Think of it as… a satisfying day of hard work!”

Lance raised an eyebrow at that.

“Okay…” Rapunzel sheepishly admitted. “I am kinda tired. But… but! We’ll get plenty of rest once we get back, right?”

“You better believe it,” Eugene sighed. “I can’t wait to just collapse in bed and-”

“Ratta-ch-ch-chata-rrr!”

Quick as a flash, a screeching Ruddiger appeared out of nowhere, leapt up onto Eugene's shoulder and began pawing and clawing at his shirt collar.

“Hey, hey, Ring Tail, this is my nice shirt!” Eugene protested as he tried to pull the anxious raccoon off him only for Ruddiger to scream louder and continue to yank on his shirt.

“Ruddiger!” Rapunzel interjected as the raccoon jumped back to the ground and started pulling on his pant leg. “What's wrong-”

"Wait up!" Cassandra called from behind. Rapunzel paused and turned to see Cassandra hurrying to catch up with them. A trembling, cross-eyed Varian stood behind her on wobbly legs, his chest heaving and his breath hitching and his eyes just so, so heartbreakingly miserable. And Rapunzel realized with a start that he was crying.

Alright, this had gone too far. Varian was clearly very sick with something and Rapunzel wasn't taking one more step until someone could pry the truth out of the stubborn little alchemist!

It seemed that Eugene and Lance shared the sentiment, because they stopped just a moment later. 

"He needs to sit down," Rapunzel ordered.

"Yeah, we're taking a break," Eugene urgently agreed. "He can't keep going like this-"

His entire body sharply swayed. 

"Varian!" Eugene called as he hurried towards him with Ruddiger at his heels. "Goggles, what's going on?!" 

His knees gave out. 

"Uh, Princess," Lance exclaimed, "He's gonna-"

And then he was falling over the cliff, and everybody screamed.