Chapter Text
The bag was set in front of them on top of the table, sitting in the Dining Hall as Sansa Stark looked up at Theon and Elaerys. Arriving was as awful as most would think, seeing the smug and dark atmosphere they were presented in. Elaerys had circles beneath her dreary eyes, exhausted from restless nights, being worried about her daughter, alongside whether or not Euron was going to scope out their ship. Theon didn't have it any better or worse, staying up keeping their sails up and moving forward. He often begged her to get some sleep, her body needing to always be close to him, feigning sleep at most. Now that they arrived, Elaerys had to fashion herself with a new fur coat, which she purchased on the way there, spending time sewing in the caravan, Theon refusing her to walk the whole way to Wintertown. Lynx Warriors followed suit, right behind them as she shivered.
Theon opened the bag for a moment only to tense quickly, seeing bones piled up inside. Sansa parted her lips for a moment before he peered into her eyes, sadness was filling him.
“What is this?” he asked her. “Why didn’t you bury her? What did he do to her?”
“He didn’t do anything to her, she just-”.
“Then who killed her?” Theon swallowed heavily, keeping himself from crying, perhaps even sobbing in front of her and his wife.
“She killed herself”, Sansa replied quickly. “I fed Ramsay to his dogs and as soon as we all left, she threw herself in the kennels”.
“She wouldn’t do such a thing”, Theon held the bag tight. “Did she have the baby?”
“No, she was still pregnant, we tried to retrieve as many bones as possible”, she grasped his hands.
“Where are the rest?”
“In the dog’s stomachs that we killed off”, she squeezed tightly as he huffed. “Who is this?”
She was motioning to Elaerys, though she had taken it upon herself to pry their hands apart, worried for Theon’s flayed fingers that were hidden beneath gloves.
“The commander of the Lynx Soldiers”, Theon drew an arm around her waist, moving her closer to his side. “My wife”.
“I didn’t know you were married”, Sansa nodded towards Elaerys as she gave a small smile.
“3 years of marriage, married her as soon as we got to the islands”, Theon looked at her. “We have two children as well”.
“Two?”
“Our daughter is at home, but we have another on its way”, Elaerys replied, rubbing her stomach gently. Theon brushed his thumb on her side, looking back at Sansa.
“Why did you bring her here?” she asked him. “You’re putting her in danger-”.
“She’s not fighting…she’ll stay in the safest place, wherever you place it”.
“We’re planning on putting the mothers and children in the crypts, Jon’s orders”, Sansa replied, leaning forward slightly.
“Then she’ll be in the crypts”.
Elaerys half-slitted her eyes as she held his arm, feeling a bit dizzy.
______
She blamed exhaustion. She had to soak herself in a cold bath to get any sort of relief, drinking water to help aid her. It felt familiar, like it happened before. She has lost sleep before, countless times, though she decided to catch up on what she’s lost. She ate a meal, washed herself, took care of the stains on her teeth, and even brushed out her hair. She felt no different aside from the lost dizziness. She decided to spend time exploring Theon’s old room, running her hands over the furs covering the bed, going through his old clothes, and even touching the little things set upon his dressing table. It smelled odd in her opinion, smelling of stale sex, oaky herbs, and string.
“This is where you slept for nine years?” she asked him as he stepped in, closing the door behind him. He scanned the room once before looking back at his wife.
“Just as much”, he chuckled softly. “It’s great you get to see it”.
“What’s with the smell?” she picked up a shirt from beneath his bed, crouching down beforehand.
“I wasn’t exactly a eunuch”, he walked over, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind.
“And look at you now”, she smiled, looking up at him as he gently kissed her forehead.
“If you were to be here with me, I’d never have a reason to pay for other women to please me”, he sat on the edge of his bed. She brushed her fingers through his hair.
“You need to cut this”, she tugged on a strand. “It’s too long…”
“Right this moment?” he asked her. “We’re in the middle of something”.
“I meant afterwards”, she huffed, pushing him back. He sat back up before he placed his hands on her hips, kissing her belly gently.
“You aren’t the first pregnant woman in this room”, he hummed gently. She raised her eyebrows, crossing her arms.
“Oh really?” she asked him. “And who was the first?”
“Lillian”, he nearly choked, looking up at her. “Only her”.
She knew this could be the last moment they had together given their circumstances. It wasn’t worth hurting his feelings more. All she could do was watch, unknowing of what to do. She soon sighed, kissing his cheek gently.
“It's been a rough life for the both of us, no?” she asked, sitting on the floor upon her knees, not caring about the dirt that would stain her dress. “We had beautiful moments together, didn't we?”
“Before I ruined them at the end?” He looked at her.
“So you had an affair, I don’t care anymore Theon, so you had a couple bastards, I don’t care anymore, I just want you. You feel pleasure, you’ve shown me loyalty, you’ve shown me love, you’ve shown me strength, no man in my life ever gave me what you gave me”, she huffed, setting her hands on his lap. “My first husband treated me terribly, the men he threw at me treated me like a ragdoll, but you treat me as if I’m-”.
“My wife”, he interrupted her. She looked up at him before she stood up, kissing him softly. His hands ran up her sides as he was locked into her. She went to lay him back down before he stopped her.
“Elaerys, the child”, he rested a hand on her stomach.
“What about it?” she asked as he stood up.
“I don’t feel comfortable being intimate when it’s inside you”, he pecked her lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck.
“Alright, alright, I’ll be tame”, she swayed carefully.
It almost felt comforting, his essence still around the room as a shield from everything around them. She winced as she felt a sharp pain, he held her upright in case she fell, seeing her lean a bit.
“What is it?” he asked her. She gave a small smile.
“Nothing, just a sharp movement is all”, she assured him.
_____
As Theon was heading through the hallway, he found where Lillian’s old chambers were. He opened the door carefully before seeing that most of her things were moved out and possibly even destroyed. He went through her drawers, finding nothing, then checking the basin where she used to bathe, seeing nothing, that was until he came across her cloak, tucked beneath the bed. He pulled it out, looking over the furs and fabric.
_____
As the day quickly turned to Night, Theon had shaken a bit from the cold, holding his bowl of stew, trying to keep warm before it started. Sansa joined him in on his meal as the two conversed together, speaking in the past.
“Elaerys told me on a ship if we were to have children, she’d have 13”, he chuckled softly.
“And what did you tell her?” Sansa asked, sipping on the bowl.
“I told her no”, he gave a small laugh. “I do want a few, especially after she had my daughter”.
“What’s your daughter’s name?”
“Elise. Named after her late daughter”, he set the bowl aside. “I never heard her voice, she’s very timid, but she’s the most innocent thing in the realm”.
“Never heard her voice?”
“We don’t know why she’s so silent, but she’s attached. I had to hand her to my sister on the way here so she could take her to the Islands. She didn’t very much enjoy it”, he pursed his lips, looking downwards. “I’ve been praying to see her again”.
“You pray?”
“Not to who you think…Elaerys gave me faith, as much as Lillian had. Lillian was the Maiden that saved me, Elaerys is the Mother who saved me, and the Crone will come later…this is still a journey after all, one she asked of me”, Theon pulled out Elaerys’ beads. “She’s having me carry these”.
“Beads?”
“Made of obsidian”, he fiddled with some of them before putting them away. “She uses them to pray”.
“Didn’t think of you to be religious”, she smiled, holding her bowl tight in her gloved hands. Theon shrugged softly, looking over at Elaerys as she walked over, an unfamiliar look upon her face. He became concerned, grasping her hand.
“What is it?” he asked, looking down at her hand that was holding her lower stomach. She removed her hand to show it dampened with blood. His heart pounded heavily.
“Where did it happen?” He stood up quickly.
“Your chamber”, she whimpered softly, shedding a few tears.
_____
He quickly rushed upstairs, the sound of his boots echoing throughout the hall, pushing past the wooden door where he looked around. Elaerys was slowly catching up behind him. He checked the bed, running his hands over the covers. He stood straight looking to her for guidance. She pointed to the other side of the bed, indicating it was on the floor. He figured he could handle it, given he’s seen awful things, and has been in worse situations, but as soon as he looked at the floor, he nearly lost his dinner. It was different now that it was his child, seeing blood and some sort of form that laid in the center of it all. He had to hold onto the bed to focus himself, looking over at Elaerys who held her stomach still, her face covered in tears.
“It’s alright”, he held his hand out, “You’re alright, this is fine”.
“I thought it wouldn't happen again”, she shook, emotions were destroying her body as she struggled to keep together.
“Neither did I, something must have happened…you haven’t been eating properly, you haven’t gotten any sleep, you’re not well…”, Theon walked over to her before cradling her jaw in his hands. “We can always try again, once we make it home-”.
“What if we never make it home?” she asked him. “I just…I can’t handle all of this, Theon”.
“It’s not your fault”, he held her close. “It will never be your fault…”.
She whimpered before she sobbed into his shoulder, feeling the cold metal of his armor pressed against her cheek. He rubbed her back, pressing into the lower part. His heart broke. It seemed all the bad things were closing in at the center of everything.
“Let’s take you to the crypts”, he grabbed his cloak, pulling it around her shoulders. “I’ll call Maester Wolkan”.
_____
The night was growing colder and darker, limiting their sight to a foot at least without the help of the fire. Elaerys slightly squinted as she looked up at the sky, seeing nothing but fallen snow landing upon her coat. She cleared her throat as she crept through the door down into the crypts of Winterfell. She heard the murmurs of the other women as much as the cries of children, though she was left feeling quite alone. There was a high chance that they wouldn’t have made, but she was hoping for some sort of sign that could relieve her of her nerves. Not even the tea the maester gave her would soothe anything that happened within her stomach. She sat in an empty spot, waiting. She didn’t exactly know what she was waiting for, perhaps for it to end, perhaps for it to start.
It was over the course of several hours that she waited in that very spot, shivering at the screams and the cries that men had as the wights flooded the gates. She had gotten up, moving herself to meet with Sansa who found herself in the crypts as well.
“Where’s Theon?” she asked her, settling beside her.
“Protecting Bran in the Godswood”, she looked around the crypt, seeing all the scared faces that littered the women. Elaerys teared up softly.
“I shouldn’t have come”, her breath shuddered softly. “This was all a mistake coming here. I should have listened to my brother”.
_____
She squinted heavily as the sun rose, being that she was hidden in the dark the entire night. The sky wasn’t completely formed but washed over with a blue hue, lighting the ground as she saw many bodies. She looked around, tightening her coat around her, walking over the corpses. Her heart skipped a beat as she quickened her pace.
It took a few feet in order to find the Godswood, hoping and praying that her husband was still upright. Her eyes moved over the ground before she saw his body laying on the ground where a spear had pierced through him. Her heart stopped, rushing over to land beside his body, a swarm of emotions wracking through her body she reacted. Sobbing heavily as she grasped his face, his eyelids closed as she breathed heavily, feeling sick to her stomach at the sight.
“Theon”, she whimpered. “No, no, no, no…”.
She rested her head upon his chest as she wailed, Sansa approaching behind her, witnessing the horrifying sight. Elaerys lifted her head, sniffling greatly as she looked up at her. It was dead silent, except for the devastation that was laid before her.
“Elaerys”, Sansa knelt beside her.
“I can’t live without him…we were going to stay on the shores of Pyke, we would never be far from the ocean again, he promised”, she wept, looking at her. “He promised”.
“Elaerys, careful”, Jon walked over. “He could turn-”.
“I don’t give a damn”, she snapped.
“We need to burn all the bodies in case they have any chance of turning”, Jon looked at a few of the remaining men.
_____
Ashes. It was all they could give her, but it wasn’t all of them. They were only able to put some of what they were confident was Theon’s ashes into a small bottle, needing part of him with her. She took what clothes they had brought, the things she made him that he never had a chance to use, everything that was of use to her and all she could do was ask her brother, Manx, to return her to the Iron Islands to meet with her daughter again, and inform Yara of Theon’s death.
To figure out what was to happen after was a struggle. The pain she felt in her chest grew heavy, feeling sad every time she heard the ocean roll against the bottom of the ship. She lost more than a lover. She lost her childhood friend, her protector, and the father of her child. She lost another dream.
“Elaerys”, Manx asked as he stood in front of her. “You don’t have to return to the Islands”.
“I didn’t ask to be moved around, regardless of your opinions, I want to see the shores again…”, she stood up from the bench, walking to the edge of the ship. She didn’t want to speak, fearing it would strike her tears back up.
“We have shores at home”.
“Not like the ones on the Islands, I have no memory of Moonhalf’s Islands”.
“This isn’t a matter of what’s a better place to live in, it's a matter of who’s going to rule the Islands back home”, he argued with her. “Our brother is dead, he can’t-”.
“And I can? Why can’t you?” she asked him as she crossed her arms. “Why can’t any of our other siblings?”
“They all swore themselves to marriage, Calico was meant to rule our home-”.
“Then you can take the Islands…I will be on the Iron Islands until the day I die, I will not replace your incapability to handle the throne”, she spat, tearing up before she turned to grab her things.
Returning to the Iron Islands, Elaerys was able to reconnect with Yara as she took her back home to the castle, reuniting her with her daughter. She held her daughter close as tears rolled down her cheeks, feeling relieved that she was safe.
“I made a promise to Theon”, Yara looked at her, sitting beside a table in the Main Hall. “He wanted to live in the secluded part of the Island, by the ocean”.
“He spoke of that”, Elaerys carried Elise on her hip as she wiped away her tears.
“While you were gone I found a place upon the shore, abandoned”, she stood up. “I have men working on it, I’m giving you your own land, servants, everything”.
“For Theon?”
“I gave it that name, if you want it”, she unrolled parchment in front of her, revealing prints. “Old design, new form”.
Elaerys looked it over before she pursed her lips.
“Aren’t you going to be lonely up here?” she asked.
“Not if you visit often. Theon wanted that home, he’s getting it”, she rolled the parchment up. “Question is, do YOU want it?”
Elaerys rubbed her daughter’s back before she nodded softly.
“For Theon…”.
-Elaerys_Lynx