Chapter Text
Peter stares out the window as the bus ambles through the city towards Stark Tower. It’s been an interesting week, he thinks, brow furrowed in thought. May had laughed herself silly when he’d presented her with a permission slip to go to Stark Tower on a field trip, and then told him to have Tony sign it instead.
“Then I won’t be able to go,” he’d told her. “The teachers will think I’m playing a prank or something showing up with Tony Stark’s signature on a permission slip. Besides, it has to be signed by a guardian.”
May had signed his permission slip, but had done so quietly with a thoughtful look on her face. That had been Sunday night.
Monday Peter had gone to the tower for his lab day as normal, but he’d found that Mr. Stark looked nervous… unsure of himself in a way Peter rarely ever saw. Peter had asked him a few questions, but Tony had given him simple answers, assuring him that everything was fine and that it was nothing to worry about.
“You like coming here, right Underoos? Coming and hanging out with me? With Pepper?” Peter had barely paid attention to the question when Mr. Stark had asked him Monday night.
“I love it Mr. Stark.”
He didn’t know what it was about his reply that had made Tony stop looking so anxious, but he had seemed to settle after that.
Tuesday May had asked him a similar question at home. “Peter, you really like going to spend time with Tony don’t you?” He gave her a similar answer, and that was that. He wasn’t aware that things were taking place behind the scenes without his knowledge until he showed up for lab day Wednesday and found Tony so excited he could barely stand still while they worked in the lab. He seemed happy, and his excitement was contagious. He and Peter worked on a prototype for new Widow Bites until five, and then Peter had been surprised to find May in the penthouse with Pepper when he and Tony had gone up for dinner. It was only then that May and Tony explained to Peter that they’d been talking on the phone all week and presented him with a thick stack of papers.
“Peter,” May had told him as they sat at the dinner table, Peter staring down at the papers. “What do you think honey? We only want to do this if you agree. I’ve always worried about what would happen to you if something happened to me. This ensures that you’ll be taken care of no matter what, and makes the most sense because you and Tony are already so close.”
Peter hadn’t cried. Well, maybe he had, just a little. He’d thought of Mr. Stark like a father for quite a while now… they’d joked about it a lot, though Peter had never really considered it a joke. The other Avengers often gave him and Tony both a hard time about it because they weren’t actually father and son but acted so much like they were. Now May and Tony wanted to make it official… for Peter to sign joint custody papers that would make it official.
Wednesday had been a good day… the best.
So it had been an eventful week… odd and exciting at the same time. It wasn’t every week that you gained a father… a real dad you could call your own, Peter mused.
Because Peter already spends so much time at the tower, including weekends, they’ve decided to continue as they have been. May often works long hours on weekends, and late shifts on Monday and Friday nights. From this point forward Peter will be spending Friday night through Monday night at the tower, and Tuesday through Thursday night in Queens with May. He’ll still be going to lab days on Wednesday, but returning to Queens afterward. His schedule isn’t shifting dramatically, but it feels to Peter like his life has taken a dramatic shift.
“Are you sure they’re going to give you a hard time?” Ned asks from beside him. Peter pulls his attention away from the bus window and gives his best friend a small smile.
“Yeah, pretty sure. The Avengers live to get a reaction from me or each other. Dude, last week someone filled Nat’s shoes with pudding. She’s still trying to figure out who did it so she can cut their hands off or something.”
Ned eyes Peter’s face, and then his eyes drift down to his friend’s hands. “You don’t think she’ll want to take revenge on me just for giving you my pudding cup at lunch last week do you?”
Peter grins at him. “I’ll take the fall if she finds out. She probably already knows and is planning revenge on me today.”
“What are they going to do?”
Peter shrugs. They’ll probably pop in while Peter and his class are touring the tower and make fun of him or remind him of embarrassing stories. He knows they won’t out his secret identity, and that’s all that matters. They all know his class has a field trip to the tower today, and they’ve spent all week trying to rile Peter up about it. With a new dad… a new family, he can’t make himself feel too worried about it however.
“Are they gonna… you know…”
“What?”
“You said they’ve been giving you a hard time about Mr. Stark.”
“We haven’t told them yet.” Ned is the only one Peter has told about the new joint custody arrangement. Pepper and Tony have told Rhodey and Happy because they’re family, but that is all. They’re not going to tell the team until Saturday or Sunday.
“So now that it’s all… official, that means I can come over and see his lab right? Or your room?” Ned sounds hopeful, but looks like he doubts he’ll be allowed to visit Peter when he’s staying at the tower.
“I think so,” Peter says. “My room at least. Mr. St- uh, my dad likes you. He still says he owes you for calling him that night after the party.”
Ned leans back against the bus seat and smiles, giving a nod. He likes the idea of Mr. Stark owing him.
A low buzz of excitement slowly fills the bus as they turn a corner onto the street Stark Tower is on. Peter looks at Ned and says, “I have a plan. I’m not going to react at all when they do anything. That’s been working out well the last couple weeks.”
“Don’t react, got it,” Ned says.
“Whatever happens, we’ll just act like it’s totally normal.” Their joking and ribbing is normal, Peter thinks, so it shouldn’t be too hard to act nonchalant. He can have no idea that the Avengers have a plan too… that they are going to go out of their way today to prank him, because it’s not just pudding in Natasha’s shoes that Peter has been responsible for in the last month, but several other pranks around the tower as well. Slowly, one by one, he’s been pranking each Avenger (he even got Happy and Mr. Stark at one point). The only people he’s yet to make his way around to are Rhodey and Pepper. He’s certain he’s flown under the radar as the prankster, and that nobody (aside from potentially Mr. Stark who has access to FRIDAY), can know it’s been him the entire time.
A few minutes later as they pile off the bus and enter the lobby, Peter expects Mr. Stark to be there, ready and waiting to embarrass him. Aside from visitors and employees, the lobby is empty though. No Mr. Stark. Peter doesn’t let his shoulders droop. He’s certain Mr. Stark will pop in at some point to embarrass him. The man had told him the night before that as a dad that’s part of the job description. He’s already shown that in fact with his raucous cheers at various Academic Decathlon meets, and wearing several embarrassing Spider Man t-shirts. Peter doesn’t know where his dad came up with it, but weeks ago he came into the lab wearing a shirt featuring a comic style drawing of Spider Man with a punk rock spiked mohawk playing guitar. Since then, the other Avengers have been asking Peter if he plays an instrument, and what his band name is going to be.
Their tour guide, (an intern he recognizes but can’t remember the name of), gives a short spiel about safety and has all the students pass through the security scanner one by one. Peter realizes that Mr. Stark doesn’t have to be physically present in the lobby to embarrass him as soon as Ned goes through the scanner.
Up until this point, FRIDAY has quietly been announcing, “Level 1, Blue, Guest,” as their classmates pass through the scanner. When Ned passes through, FRIDAY announces, “Level 1, Gold, Guest.” Ned freezes, and so does Peter. Peter panics for a moment, but then remembers their plan and tries to convey that in a hurried conversation to Ned with just his eyes.
Ned lets his shoulders relax, and then struts forward as if he’s confident and doesn’t have a care in the world.
“What’s gold access?” Flash leans over to ask Ned, a frown on his face.
“Classified,” Ned says. Peter can see that Flash is about to start something, but he doesn’t get a chance, because Mr. Harrington is behind Peter and is ushering him forward as he’s the last student to go through the scanner.
“Gold, All Access,” FRIDAY announces.
Peter doesn’t manage to look as confident as Ned when he strides forward to join the group. In fact, his false confidence falters a little when he turns around and finds Mr. Harrington, still on the other side of the scanner, giving him a curious look, like he’s trying to work out a puzzle and that puzzle is Peter.
“Austin,” Cindy asks, trying to get their tour guide’s attention as Mr. Harrington goes through the scanner and is listed as a blue level 1 guest like most of the rest of them. “What’s the difference between gold and blue?”
Austin eyes Peter, but Peter is determined not to look at him. Like most employees and interns here, Austin has probably heard the rumors and thinks Peter is Tony’s biological son… a love child from some past fling.
“Every color has levels from one to five. Blue is the lowest, and as guests that are only allowed in the building for a few hours, you’re all blue level ones. You have to be with someone of a higher level to go anywhere in the building. Green is the level most employees have. Red is what the Avengers have, and that only has one level, Red 1. Then there’s gold. Only a few people have that.”
“Why do Parker and Leeds have it?” Flash asks. He sounds irritated and Peter wishes Flash didn’t have to be part of this trip, because he has the power to make things miserable for everyone and frequently abuses it.
Austin looks at Ned and asks, “Are you friends with a tower resident?”
“Yup.”
“He has a gold visitor’s badge, which means he can get up to floor 81 and above if he’s with someone who has a red or gold badge or if the AI FRIDAY gives him permission to be there on his own.”
Ned is soaking up the awe and admiration of his classmates as they stare at him.
“And Parker?” Flash demands, but Mr. Harrington steps in front of Flash and motions with his hands to tone it down because Flash is being rude to their guide.
“Gold all access is self explanatory. He can go anywhere in the building he wants by himself.” Before Peter can try to pretend like he doesn’t care if Austin starts to tell them about the rumors, Austin sees the uncomfortable look on his face and leads the group towards the elevators to start the tour. He’s happy to be Tony’s son on paper now… to have a living father. He’s more than happy. It’s all still fresh and new to him though, and he’s not sure how he feels about everyone else knowing while he’s still trying to wrap his own mind around it. Peter thinks maybe this is why Tony and Pepper haven’t told the other Avengers yet.
Ok, so maybe this whole ‘act like nothing phases you’ plan is going to be harder than he thought.
Once they’re on the elevator, Ned nudges Peter and whispers, “Guess that answered our question on whether or not I can visit.”
“I bet that’s payback for that night at the party,” Peter tells him. Ned nods in agreement. Everyone had heard that he was announced as Gold level 1. That gives Ned a new, although mysterious, status to the rest of his classmates.
They tour the HR department, the Legal Department, and the Patent Department. Most of those are boring to the group of teenagers, and the class just wants to get up to some of the labs.
Austin leads them to a low level chemistry intern lab where there’s not much to see other than a dozen whiteboards all with complicated math equations and several tired looking interns sitting around with cups of coffee. There are empty energy drink cans scattered across several desks, and Peter doesn’t miss the look some of the interns give him as he passes. They look hopeful, like he’ll take pity on them and help them with the math since math and chemistry are two things Peter is exceptionally good at. Peter also has the pull to get Bruce down here if he finds something interesting. Maybe Peter will come back later after school and see what they’re working on.
It’s not until they’re all the way through the lab and headed down another hall towards an elevator that Peter’s spidey sense lets him know something is about to happen. The tingle on the back of his neck isn’t ominous, so he knows they’re not in danger.
At the back of the line, he nudges Ned and nods up towards a ceiling vent. Ned doesn’t have time to ask as they walk under it, because the ceiling vent pops open. Ned, Cindy and Abe startle and look around at the noise, trying to figure out what made it. Peter and Ned are looking up at the ceiling vent that Clint is now hanging upside down out of. His legs are still in the ventilation system, and his torso is hanging out of it. He grins down at Peter.
“Hey Pete, whatcha up to?”
Peter crosses his arms. “Oh, you know, the usual. Field trip tour of SI.” The rest of the class along with Austin have turned around to see what’s going on now. Peter is aware they can all hear the conversation. Austin for his part doesn’t look phased at all. While it’s not exactly rare to see the Avengers, Peter knows most don’t make regular appearances around the tower. Clint is a different story however. Last month Clint fell through the ceiling tiles onto the desk of some poor woman in the HR department and scared her half to death. He had grinned at her, apologized, told her he’d make sure Tony gave her extra vacation days, and then sauntered off, leaving a dozen employees staring after him. It wasn’t the first time that had happened either.
“Oh right,” Clint says with a knowing smile. “That’s today?”
“Yup.” Peter can see that he’s winning. This is all completely normal and doesn’t phase him at all, and Clint is trying to work out what he can do or say to embarrass him.
“Well, I just wanted to drop in and make sure you ate breakfast. Most important meal of the day you know.”
“Nope,” Peter shakes his head. “Skipped it.” He hadn’t. He’d eaten pop tarts on the way to school and a banana on the bus.
Clint reaches up into the air ducts and from somewhere, Peter guesses his pocket, pulls out a bag of gummy worms. He holds one out, gummy worm dangling above Peter. “Eat your breakfast.”
The class is staring but Peter doesn’t care. If he acts like this is all normal, maybe Clint will go back and tell the others that whatever they’re planning won’t work. Peter steps forward, cranes his neck back and opens his mouth wide. Clint drops the gummy worm in from above and Peter smirks at him.
Then Ned, bless him, steps up to get a gummy worm too, staring at the ceiling with his mouth open like a baby bird as though this is nothing. Clint drops a gummy worm for Ned too.
“Is he around?” Peter asks. He hopes Clint knows he’s talking about Tony.
“Meeting,” he says. “He sent me to make sure you ate.” Peter gives him a thumbs up. He’s about to walk away and leave Clint hanging there upside down when the man speaks again. “Oh and Pete.” Peter looks up and Clint pulls out a hot pink arrow to show him. “I know this was you.” He twirls the arrow around with his fingers. “Hot pink nail polish. Nice touch.”
When Peter stares at him, mouth open because he’s surprised, Clint smiles, gives him a dramatic salute, and pulls himself back into the air vents. The air vent cover is slotted back into place, and Ned nudges Peter. Peter comes back to himself and looks around, finding the class staring at him.
“Was that Hawkeye?” John asks.
“Yup,” Ned says, because Peter isn’t saying anything.
“That happens more than you’d think,” Austin says, motioning them all towards the elevator to get them moving again. As they pile into the elevator, Austin explains about the incident in HR, and also an incident earlier in the year in one of the engineering labs where the engineers and interns were surprised to see Tony Stark himself coming into a lab muttering in irritation and carrying a ladder. Bruce had been with him, and he laughed the entire time as Tony climbed the ladder, popped up some of the ceiling tiles, and proceeded to unscrew ducts from the ventilation system to free Clint from a tight ventilation elbow.
See? Normal, Peter thinks, though his classmates are still giving him and Ned curious looks. Clint popping out of the ventilation system might be normal, but feeding Peter gummy worms from the ceiling and showing Peter hot pink arrows is not. Peter had snagged Clint’s quiver of arrows one evening when he’d found them in the Avenger’s living room and secreted them away to the bathroom where he took some hot pink nail polish Nat had left and coated every single arrow until they were sparkling and bright. Clint and his pink arrows had been the talk of the Avengers for weeks.
Peter hopes that aside from whatever Tony is planning, that the thing with Clint is a one off. They make it through another chemistry lab, this one more interesting as it does practical work, mixing and testing new chemical combinations. They also make it through the wave lab where there’s a gigantic swimming pool with a wave maker. They test green energy power generators powered by waves there along with other things. They even make it through a lower level robotics lab without incident. They’re on their way to the cafeteria on floor 39 for lunch when Peter knows that the thing with Clint isn't a one off.
Nat steps out of an elevator ahead of them and stands in their path, smile on her face.
“Oh uh, excuse us Miss Romanoff,” Austin says, trying to usher the class to the side. The hall is wide, but he wants to give her room to pass, whether it’s because he’s scared and thinks she needs a wide berth for their safety, or just to be polite, Peter doesn’t know. He doesn’t miss how Ned scoots over so he’s standing behind Peter at the predatory smile Nat gives Peter as she walks past the class to stand in front of him. She crosses her arms and Peter gives her a wary smile and a solitary wave.
Nat stays quiet, and Peter’s face starts to heat up. Nope. A staring contest with the Black Widow is not normal. The silence stretches on for half a minute before Peter cracks and says nervously, “Uh… hi Nat.”
She reaches up and taps a finger on her chin, pretending to look thoughtful. “There’s a mystery I’m hoping you can help me solve. I’m trying to figure out who put pudding in my shoes.”
Knowing the threats she’s made to cut off the hands of whoever had done it, Peter and Ned immediately stick their hands inside their hoodie pockets. Nat smiles, and Peter realizes he’s messed up.
Nat steps forward and says in a low tone that’s supposed to be threatening even though it sounds sweet, “You wouldn’t be lying to auntie Nat would you?”
Peter can hear Ned gulp beside him. He’s about to answer when Ned squeaks out, “No auntie Nat.” He’s never met the Black Widow before, but he calls her that now because he’s nervous and ready to repeat back whatever she wants to hear.
Her smile widens. She points to Peter and then to Ned. “You can keep your hands or your shoes.”
Peter leans back against the wall and pulls one sneaker off, and then the other. Ned is hopping around on one foot beside him doing the same despite that he had no part in the pudding prank and hadn’t even heard about it until that morning on the bus ride there.
Nat holds out her hands and two pairs of shoes are handed over to her. She smiles, turns and walks away, disappearing again back into the elevator. Peter feels like melting into the wall and wishes that were one of his abilities so he can just phase out of sight, go up to his room, and go to sleep for a week.
The eyes of their classmates are demanding answers, and Austin looks curious too. Ned shrugs and says, “I was an accessory to shoe murder.”
The class is quiet as they make their way down the hall and into the cafeteria. Peter can hear some of his classmates murmuring about the two incidents, Peter, and Ned as they stand in line and wait for their food from McDonalds, one of the many franchises inside this particular cafeteria.
Peter is expecting to sit down at an empty table with Ned and maybe MJ (and he really hopes Austin or Mr. Harrington so they’ll keep kids off his back), but instead everyone seems to be waiting for he and Ned to take a seat so they can sit down with them. Peter sighs and sits down at a big table. Mr. Harrington and Austin sit at a different table, though Peter notes they’re close enough to hear the conversation.
As soon as Flash sits down, dropping his tray of food on the table, he gives Peter a look like he can’t decide what he wants to ask first, and then settles on, “What the fuck Parker?”
Peter tries to go back to the act of, ‘nothing out of the ordinary here’ and unwraps one of his three cheeseburgers. He shrugs and says, “What? I told you I intern here.”
“You intern here, but you painted Hawkeye’s arrows bright pink and put pudding in Black Widow’s shoes?” Abe asks.
“Uh, no, he murdered her shoes,” Ned corrects. Peter gives him an exasperated look because he’s not helping. Peter thinks the gold visitor’s badge has gone to his head and he’s leaning into this whole, ‘this is normal thing’ a little too much.
Their classmates stare at Ned for a moment. No one forgets that Peter and Ned are currently sitting in the cafeteria at Stark Industries in their socks right now. Peter is grateful he took the time to find a matching pair that morning.
“What I did or didn’t do,” Peter says, “doesn’t really matter. When the Black Widow says to give her your shoes, you do it.”
“Ok,” MJ says, “what about the gummy worms?”
Peter shrugs. “What Austin said is true. Clint pops out of the ventilation system all over the tower.”
“Seems like a fun place to work,” Cindy says.
“Bullshit,” Flash says, dropping his burger onto his tray. “Penis isn’t an intern here. There’s no way. Even if they did bring on high schoolers, they wouldn’t choose him.”
“He’s got all access,” MJ says, playing devil’s advocate.
“Ned has a gold badge too,” Flash retorts. He turns to Ned and says, “You’re not an intern are you? You were announced as a visitor.”
“I’m not an intern yet,” Ned says, and Peter notes that Ned puffs out his chest. Ned has gotten Peter out of enough bad situations since he’s become Spider Man, that Peter is sure there will be more, and he’s sure that just like Ned’s new gold visitor access, Tony will thank Ned in other ways, like potentially bringing him on as an intern. Peter wonders if Tony would give Ned an internship if Peter asks. Tony says no to a lot of things, like coffee, energy drinks, late night parties, and Spider Man joining the Avengers. He also says yes to a lot of things though, like picking Peter and Ned up late at night, going to Academic Decathlon meets, and going out at midnight for milkshakes, just because Peter wants one.
His class is still trying to puzzle out the enigma that Peter and Ned are turning out to be by the time lunch is over. Most of the class believes that Peter has an internship and that the two incidents they’ve seen that day are isolated. Flash is firmly in the, ‘Peter is a liar and is hiding something’ camp. Peter is perturbed that MJ also believes he’s hiding something.
A few interns and one engineer call out to Peter as they pass through several labs where he spends a lot of his internship time. They all seem to realize he’s busy on a tour and don’t ask for his help, though one intern does ask if Peter is coming by later since it’s Friday.
Flash scrutinizes every interaction Peter has, and by the time they’re up past level 50 and on their way to a lab dedicated to coding things like the Stark Phone and Stark Tablet, Flash agrees that maybe Peter wasn’t lying about his internship. Though he’s still calling bullshit on Peter’s interactions with the Avengers when Cap comes down the hall and Peter sighs. “Crap,” Peter mutters.
“Did you murder his shoes too?” Ned asks in a panic.
“Not his shoes,” Peter mutters under his breath when he spots what Cap is wearing. It’s a white t-shirt with a black and white photo of Peter’s face on it. Everyone else has noticed now too.
By now the class is watching with bated breath as Steve approaches, big smile on his face. Given the previous two incidents, they’re all wondering what Peter did and what will happen.
“Hello,” Steve says to the class. He reaches out to shake the hand of Austin and then Mr. Harrington. Mr. Harrington handles himself better than Austin at being approached by the Captain America. “Just need a word with Peter here,” Steve says, and Mr. Harrington winces and glances at Peter, still hanging back towards the end of the group. Peter thinks his teacher is wondering if Steve will take Peter’s shirt off his back. Peter thinks that’s likely and that he’ll be lucky to get out at the end of the day with any clothes at all.
Ned is mouthing wordlessly as Steve moves past the group and comes to stand in front of them. Peter eyes the shirt as he gets closer. It’s a ridiculous photo of him… a ridiculous shirt. It’s so ridiculous that Peter is having a hard time holding in a laugh.
Two months ago, back when Peter had started pranking various Avengers, he’d decided to take out two birds with one stone. He had printed out a huge black and white photo of Tony’s face and then superglued it to the inside of Cap’s shield, covering the entire interior surface except for the leather straps. He’d done it that way so that every time Steve picked up his shield he’d have to see Tony’s face, or else scrub the paper printout off. It had been so perfect. Steve had believed that Tony had done it, and nothing Tony had said had made Steve believe he wasn’t guilty of the prank. “Really Tony? An entire building with your name in ten foot tall letters on the side wasn’t enough?”
Thinking about his prank is not helping Peter keep a straight face at all. He’s almost done for when he looks up at the shirt with his face on it again.
“That’s uh… a nice shirt you have there Mr. Rogers.” He has to look away again or he’s going to lose it and burst out laughing.
Steve smiles and says, “Oh, I like wearing other people’s faces on my gear.” He slaps Peter on the back and walks away.
“That’s it?” Ned asks.
Peter reaches up and covers his mouth. Steve is headed towards the lab they just left. He’s going to walk through there with Peter’s face on his shirt and everyone is going to see it.
“What did you do to him?” Flash asks, and Peter lets a small laugh escape.
“Uh, nothing. I plead the fifth.”
“How are you getting away with all of it?” Sally asks. “They’re the Avengers! Aren’t you afraid?”
“Isn’t that disrespectful, pulling pranks on them?” John asks before Peter can answer.
Peter isn’t sure which question to answer first. He ends up ignoring Sally’s question, which he isn’t sure how to answer without telling everyone that Tony adopted him, and looks at John instead. “With the hard time they give me on a daily basis? They deserve it.”
The class isn’t sure what to make of his answer. As far as they know he’s just some random kid who was lucky enough to score a Stark Internship. Interns get coffee, work on minor projects, and do a lot of paperwork. They don’t have time to hang out with the Avengers to the point where Nat calls herself auntie Nat. Interns don’t have enough time to pull pranks on the Avengers, even if Peter does have a gold all access clearance level and can get up to the Avengers common floors. It’s exciting wondering about all the possibilities and trying to figure out the mystery that Peter Parker is turning out to be.
Peter wonders if he’ll be pranked in some way by Bruce. He spent an hour trying to figure out how to fill several of the cabinets in Bruce’s lab with ping pong balls so that when he opens those cabinet doors all the ping pong balls will come cascading out. There’s also the very likely possibility that Sam will try to seek revenge, and Peter really doesn’t want to think about the form that vengeful act will take.
They talk to scientists in several labs, do a Q and A with a green energy engineering team about the renewable energy systems that keep the tower running, and get to mess around in a lab with spare parts for half an hour. There’s only an hour left of the tour when Mr. Stark shows up in a hall holding Ned’s shoes. He holds them out to Ned, who takes them without a word, like he’s completely unbothered by the presence of Iron Man.
“I liberated these from a hostage situation up on the 90th floor,” Tony tells him.
“What about me?” Peter asks. He’s still in his socks, and now that Ned has his shoes back Peter feels like everyone will stare at him.
“Do you really think Nat will let your shoes out alive?” Tony asks. He’s not looking for an answer. “I’ll have to get you a new pair. By the way, Sam is looking for you.”
Peter’s face pales. “No! I didn’t do anything to Sam!” It’s a lie and they both know it.
Tony laughs and slaps him on the back. “Yeah, nice try. Good luck with that. He’s still cleaning glitter out of his gear.” He doesn’t bother leaning in and whispering for what he has to say next. “Everyone has known for some time that you’re responsible for the pranks that have been going around. They’ve been saving up all their revenge for this field trip."
“You- you set this up!” Peter sputters.
“You know,” Tony continues, unbothered, like they’re just chatting, “you’ve pranked everyone but Pepper and Rhodey. They’re beginning to think you don’t like them.”
“They want me to put pudding in their shoes?” Peter shoots back.
“Oh no, it should be something totally creative… something like swapping all the car keys on the key rings.” Then Peter groans because that’s what he’d done to Happy. The man had grumbled and complained about it for over a week because he’d had to sort out which keys went to which cars in the parking garage. “Just so you know,” Tony says, “it was Happy that figured it out. He dusted the keys and found your prints all over them. He’s the one that had the idea to set up this field trip.”
“That’s-” evil, Peter wants to say. Peter swapped all of Happy’s car keys and somehow that has turned into Happy’s villain origin story.
“Don’t mess with the Head of Security. He’ll get you back every time,” Tony advises. Tony looks around to the class, because up until now he’s had eyes only for Peter, and says, “Hi everyone. I’m sure you already know who I am, so I won’t bother introducing myself.” He looks at Austin and says, “Do they have time to see one more lab?”
“Of course Mr. Stark Iron Man sir,” Austin says, and Tony groans and shoots a look to Peter to let him know he will be taking his revenge on Peter at some point as well. Peter only turns and grins. In the crowded elevator a few minutes later, Tony stands between Peter and the wall. Peter’s the only one in the elevator Tony is comfortable with being pressed up against.
“What lab are we going to see?” Abe finds the courage to ask.
“My personal lab,” Tony says. “That’s where all the magic happens, right Pete?”
A murmur of excitement goes around the group. Austin shifts from foot to foot and Peter can tell that he’s excited as well. Few people have seen Tony Stark’s personal lab.
“Pete, you should get the drone out of your cabinet to show them,” Tony says. The elevator door dings and Tony is the first one off the elevator. The only thing on this floor is a huge server room FRIDAY uses to run the tower, Tony’s lab and a bathroom.
Tony points out the door to the server room and starts explaining about FRIDAY, previous AI’s he’s made, and how FRIDAY controls everything from energy distribution to security. The class hangs on his every word. Then he leads them to the door in the glass wall and says, “This is my personal lab. There are dangerous things inside. No one but Pete or myself are allowed to touch anything. FRIDAY will have eyes on all of you. If you feel like you can’t control yourself, stick your hands in your pockets.”
A few students do just that, and Tony opens the door and leads them all inside. Peter notes that the lab is a lot cleaner than it normally is, and that all the sensitive tech has been put away.
Tony arbitrarily splits the group in two and takes one half to look at the Iron Man suits along the wall, and sends the other half with Peter. Peter takes them to his metal workbench and then moves to one of his metal cabinets along the wall to pull his drone out. His spider sense tingles, but the tingle is so low he’s not sure what to make of it. That is until he opens the cabinet door and a hundred ping pong balls come cascading out, bouncing on the floor and rolling away. Peter lets his head roll back momentarily so he can stare at the ceiling. Ping pong balls are not the worst thing he could be dealing with right now given the huge bag of glitter he’d used to prank Sam with. He takes a breath and pulls the drone out to take back to the table. The noise of all the ping pong balls has drawn everyone’s attention to him. Tony is still talking about the Iron Man suit, though he shoots a smirk at Peter.
“Whoa, you made this?” Cindy asks as he sets the drone on the workbench.
“Yeah, wanna see it fly?” Peter presses the button on the top and says, “Reconnaissance. Look for anything out of the ordinary around my workstation and report back.”
The tiny drone lifts off and hovers a foot above their heads. It sends out a green laser that starts touching every surface, and then moves off to see what it can find. Peter picks up his Stark Tablet and opens the program the drone is connected to, and then sets it flat on the surface so everyone can see it.
“Uh, so see those red hand prints? The drone is picking up a residual heat signature from a couple hours ago. That’s where someone opened my locker to put ping pong balls inside. See, there’s another hand print on the top drawer of my tool chest. That was probably Mr. Stark putting away some tools I left out to get the lab cleaned up to show off.”
“Or someone else trying to prank you,” Flash says. Peter notices the other boy sounds a little in awe.
“That’s a possibility,” Peter says, “which is why I’m not going to open that until later. I might have Dum-E open it for me.”
“Dum-E?” John asks.
“One of Mr. Stark’s robots.” He motions vaguely in the direction of Mr. Stark’s group. Dum-E, is rolling around beeping excitedly, wanting Mr. Stark to talk about him too.
Peter pulls out another project to show them. It’s just a PCB he had been working on soldering the night before, but it requires him to use a microscope when he’s working on it, and that’s enough to impress the group.
After ten minutes, Tony has the two groups swap places, and Peter does the demonstration with his drone again for Mr. Harrington, Ned, MJ, Austin and a couple other kids. Ned asks if the drawer in his tool chest will be filled with glitter, and Peter tells him it probably is.
Mr. Harrington clears his throat and says, “Peter, you and I should probably have a talk at some point about self preservation skills.” Peter’s cheeks color at that. He doesn’t know why he didn’t see this coming. He should have known they would figure it out eventually. It’s the coordinated attack that’s been throwing him for a loop all day. He’d never expected the Avengers to try getting him back all at once.
Tony has heard Mr. Harrington’s words, and half shouts from across the lab, “We’ll set up a parent teacher conference and team up teach. Maybe hearing that from someone other than me will help drive the point home.”
Ned and Peter both freeze. Peter looks up and realizes Austin’s eyes are alight. He has proof to take back to the lower floors now that Peter is Tony’s son, adopted or otherwise. Everyone in the room heard what Tony said.
“Of course,” Mr. Harrington says, not missing a beat. Peter doesn’t know how the tables have been turned so suddenly… Mr. Stark and Mr. Harrington acting as though this is all normal when it’s supposed to be him and Ned acting like that.
Ned nudges him and Peter looks up, eyes finding Austin again. “You’re gonna keep calling him, Mr. Stark Iron Man sir right?” he asks. “It drives him crazy.”
“You know he’s asked us to stop a dozen times? He even had the HR team send out a memo to the labs.” Austin is grinning though, like he’s happy to be a part of this prank with Peter. “We do it for you,” Austin says. Because you’re his son goes unsaid. Peter knows though. It strikes him then, that the other interns have been doing this for Peter for months… long before this most recent development of the adoption that no one has even heard about yet. They do it because Peter has been Mr. Stark’s son for a long time. A warmth wells up in Peter’s chest at the realization.
He may be standing in the lab with his class in his socks. There might still be a heinous glitter attack coming his way later in the day. Peter suddenly doesn’t care. He realizes that he doesn’t care if his classmates find out about the adoption either.
Austin moves off to start gathering the group back together because it’s getting close to time to go.
Peter hurries over to Tony. “Hey, dad?” He says it quietly, but he knows some of his classmates are still close enough to hear. Tony looks down at him with a warmth in his eyes that matches the feeling in Peter’s chest.
“Yeah?”
“I’m gonna go up and grab a pair of shoes.”
“Check them for pudding first,” Tony says.
“Right.” He turns to Mr. Harrington, but the man only waves him away, so Peter races out of the lab and to the elevator. There’s no pudding in his one remaining pair of shoes, Peter is grateful to find.
“Is my class still in the lab FRIDAY?” Peter asks.
“They are in the gift shop in the lobby waiting for you.”
The elevator carries Peter down the 93 floors to the lobby, and he finds his class scattered around the gift shop. Austin is no longer there, though his dad is standing near the giftshop door talking to Mr. Harrington. As Peter gets close, he hears Tony telling a modified version of the story of Peter running away on their way to the dentist.
“No pudding?” Tony asks when Peter makes it to them. Mr. Harrington’s eyes are drawn down to Peter’s old beat up pair of sneakers.
“No. No glitter either.”
“So what are you going to do to Pep and Rhodey? I want to help. We’ll make it something big.”
Peter stands next to Tony, so close their shoulders are almost touching. “I’m not sure yet. Ned might wanna help too.”
“Even after being threatened by Nat?”
Ned is near enough that he can hear them. He has a little plastic bag in his hands with whatever he's found in the gift store to buy. “I’m in,” he says. “I’m already an accessory to shoe murder. I might as well help him with more crimes. We have to get May too.”
Tony puts his arm around Peter’s shoulder and Peter leans into his side. He knows once they get back on the bus he’ll be peppered with questions from the rest of the AcaDec team but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care because he’ll be back here in an hour, messing around in the intern labs, and then hanging out with Tony until it’s time to head up to the penthouse for dinner and maybe a movie. He can deal with questions and curiosity when they’re about his dad, because for the first time since he can remember, he has a dad to answer questions about. Life is good, and Peter is happy.