Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Mafuyu feels cold. And numb. There's rain, but Mafuyu has long been unable to feel it fall on her. Nothing can compare to the void that has been opened up inside her.

Mafuyu doesn't know where she is, but nor does that matter. Her feet move automatically beneath her and she thinks that it would maybe be okay to wander in this darkness forever. To not see. To not think. To not feel. Because she knew – knew that something terrible was lurking behind the curtain of numbness. 

"...Mafuyu!?"

Did she recognize that voice? It sounded like –

Kanade. The person who promised to save her. The person who told her she would never leave her. The person who always tried to consider Mafuyu's feelings, even though Mafuyu had no idea what her feelings were.

A streak of white enters her vision, and Mafuyu refocuses her eyes to find Kanade in front of her, out of breath, wearing a worried expression. 

"...Kanade…" Mafuyu says brokenly, voice barely audible above the sound of falling rain.

“Mafuyu…” Kanade says her name softly, gently, like snow falling in the winter. 

Kanade. The rain is cold, but now that Kanade is here Mafuyu thinks she feels a flicker of warmth in her chest. Mafuyu can feel tears starting to leak from her eyes.

Kanade sweeps her into a hug and Mafuyu drops her head onto Kanade’s shoulder. 

Kanade. It feels like something inside her has burst open and Mafuyu can't help but sob uncontrollably.

"...Kanade, I..! I told her everything! I told my mom.. But… but!” Mafuyu chokes out.

Mafuyu can feel Kanade running her hand down her back, attempting to comfort her.

“..Mafuyu..” Kanade responds, sounding like she was in pain too.

“Why? Why am I.. here..? Mom got really angry.. And she looked so sad… But I… I…” Mafuyu can’t think. Everything hurts too much. It’s hard to speak, to give words to what she is experiencing right now.

Mafuyu rasps, “Is this.. all my fault?” I made my mom sad. If I had focused on studying and never done music then. Then I wouldn’t have met Kanade, or Ena, or Mizuki but then – 

“I just..don’t get it anymore…” Mafuyu cries tiredly, burying her face deeper into Kanade’s shoulder. 

She feels Kanade breathe in shakily to tell her it would be okay, that everything would be alright. 

Mafuyu closes her eyes. If all she focuses on is Kanade, the maelstrom brewing inside is lessened, calmed.

Mafuyu doesn't know how long she stands there out in the rain with Kanade gently comforting her. It's as if Kanade's warmth made everything else fall away. 

But eventually after Mafuyu stops shaking from her feelings and starts shivering from the cold, Kanade takes her hand and silently leads them to her home. 

Everything after that is a blur, but Mafuyu finds herself taking a shower at Kanade’s insistence that she warm herself up after standing in the rain for so long.

No matter how long Mafuyu lets the hot water run over her, she still feels cold inside. She made her mom cry, she was a bad daughter, she–

A knock sounds on the bathroom door.

"Mafuyu, I got a change of clothes for you. Mizuki said they were your size," Kanade informs her, "I'll leave them by the door." 

"Okay," Mafuyu acknowledges. 

Mafuyu doesn’t want to move. The sound of the shower and the feeling of water running over her skin helps suppress some of the many thoughts that swirl chaotically in her mind.

It’s still not enough. 

Mafuyu still doesn’t feel any warmer. 

Letting out a shaky sigh, Mafuyu prepares to get out of the shower and back to… to everything. She turns the water off, dries herself, and puts on the clothes Kanade had set aside for her. 

They seem to fit her well – Mizuki is around the same height as her after all. 

Mafuyu steps out of the bathroom to find Kanade standing in the living room with a towel wrapped around her shoulders and messaging on her phone.

Her stomach lurches as she’s reminded of her own broken smartphone sitting in her bag. 

"I told Ena and Mizuki that you were safe here with me. We were all worrying about how your mother would respond.  We all met in the SEKAI for a short period of time while you were still in the shower…" Kanade glances at Mafuyu worriedly, "I'm sorry we didn't tell you."

"It's okay," Mafuyu replies. 

"While I was there, Mizuki gave me several changes of clothes in your size and Ena brought along a bag of items like a toothbrush since my house didn’t have extras," Kanade further explains.

"...Thank you. I’m sorry for making everyone worried," Mafuyu apologizes. It seemed that she had made everyone in her life troubled, first her mom, and then the entirety of Niigo.

Kanade shakes her head, "You are one of us, of course we would help you."

Although her mother had told her that only she cared about her, Mafuyu finds that she can't believe her mom's words.

Kanade, Ena, and Mizuki all care about me. That is the only explanation why they searched for me. That is why they gave me all of these things.  

"Have you eaten dinner yet?" Kanade prompts.

Mafuyu shakes her head, "No."

"I can only make cup noodles, is that okay? Mochizuki hasn't come by yet this week," Kanade says apologetically.

"I don't mind," Mafuyu states. It didn't matter what kind of food is put in front of her, it would ultimately be the same to her. 

“Okay, I’ll go prepare the noodles then,” Kanade responds, leaving the living room area.

As the din from Kanade’s preparation of the cup noodles echo around the kitchen, Mafuyu stares blankly at the wall opposite of her. 

It hasn’t even been an hour and everything in Mafuyu’s life feels like it has been flipped upside down. 

She told her mom how she felt.

Her mom cried.

Her mom told her it was for her own good.

Mafuyu felt cold.

Her mom cried.

Her mom said everything was for her.

Mafuyu felt like she couldn’t speak. 

Her mom cried.

Her mom pleaded with her.

Mafuyu felt pain in her chest. 

Her mom cried.

Her mom asked her to start over.

Mafuyu felt like she couldn’t breathe.

Mafuyu ran away. 

She ran away – what will happen to Mom now – because it was too painful to stay. Was she feeling the regret that her mom spoke of right now?  Mafuyu’s hands briefly ball into fists before unclenching again. Maybe she could still go back now, apologize for everything she’s done, and make her mother happy again. 

At the thought of returning to her mother, Mafuyu’s head feels dizzy and her breaths get shorter and shorter until she starts gasping for air. She squeezes her eyes shut, trying to block out her thoughts.   

Mafuyu hears the shuffle of footsteps near her, and blinks open her eyes to be greeted by the sight of Kanade holding two containers of cup noodles with chopsticks precariously balanced on top of them. Kanade has a sad expression on her face.

“Are you okay?” Mafuyu manages to ask.

Kanade’s eyes flicker with surprise, but her expression changes to a small smile. 

“I’m fine. More importantly…here is yours,” Kanade says, handing one of the cup noodles to Mafuyu.

As Mafuyu removes the chopsticks and lifts the lid, Kanade warns her, “Careful, it’s still hot.”

Mafuyu dips her head in acknowledgement and blows on her noodles before taking a bite. 

Mafuyu still couldn’t taste anything, but the noodles made her feel warm inside. 

It’s strange. Mafuyu knows her mom – how could you leave her behin– is an excellent cook. Her dad had said so. Her mom’s friends said so. Everyone said so. 

She also knows that cup noodles are cheap food. But… Why is it that these noodles made her chest feel lighter? Why does it seem to clear Mafuyu’s worries? It doesn’t make any sense. 

Nothing makes sense. 

Mafuyu abandons her train of thought – she feels too exhausted, mentally and physically. 

“Are the cup noodles okay?” Kanade asks hesitantly.

“...They’re fine,” Mafuyu replies and focuses on picking up more noodles. 

“Mochizuki will be coming over in two days, so we will be able to eat homemade food then. I do have other ingredients in the house, but I don’t know how to cook well,” Kanade says apologetically, “But if you want to cook something with them, you can.”

“Okay,” Mafuyu responds. She looks down at her cup noodles and warms her still slightly shaking hands on the container.  

She sees Kanade’s gaze drop down to her hands before flicking back up to make eye contact with Mafuyu.

“After you finish eating, you can rest on my bed,” Kanade offers, “You’ve had a long day.” 

"Where will you sleep?" Mafuyu asks. Did Kanade plan on staying up tonight? 

"I can sleep with a futon I have," Kanade replies.

"I am a guest here, I should be the one to sleep with the futon," Mafuyu argues.

"You are the guest here, so you should have the bed," Kanade says firmly. 

There's a worried look in Kanade's eyes, and so Mafuyu relents, "Okay."

Kanade stares blankly at several empty music sheets on her desk, lost in thought. At least Mafuyu had taken Kanade's suggestion seemingly to heart and was tucked away underneath a few blankets, fast asleep.

Kanade originally had wanted to get started composing a new song as soon as possible, but she suspects that she is also too distracted by today's events. 

Kanade had been so worried. First, Mafuyu didn't join them for the commemoration of the new song. That alone wasn't worrying, but the fact that Mafuyu had not contacted them about being unable to join had made Kanade start suspecting that something had happened. After all, Mafuyu would never break her word without reason, or at least inform them about it. She feared for the worst when they couldn't find Mafuyu anywhere – not her school, the family restaurant, the shopping mall, nor any of their usual haunts. When Luka told her that Mafuyu decided to confront her mother… Kanade shivers at the thought.

Kanade remembers when she had a meeting with Mafuyu's mom. The amount of condescension staring down at her, the feelings of fear and coldness rising in Kanade the more they talked. She remembers how Mafuyu's mother had seemed open-minded and caring at first, all smiles and pleasantries. 

Mafuyu’s mom seemed like she could be reasoned with, that it was only a matter of ignorance for why Mafuyu was being hurt. 

Kanade grimaces at the memory. 

Even though Mafuyu's mom never stopped being polite or cordial with Kanade, she noticed that the smiles never quite reached the older woman's eyes. Mafuyu had to deal with this woman everyday. Kanade wonders, if she had to live in such a cold house, would she also be like Mafuyu? Guilt still weighed heavily on Kanade's heart, but she never had to once question who she was or what she liked. 

In the end, they were all lucky that Mafuyu's smartphone wasn't completely broken either. If it was… Kanade didn't want to imagine what would have happened to Mafuyu. The virtual singers were able to give Mafuyu emotional support, locate her for the rest of Niigo, and finally help her find Mafuyu to bring her somewhere safe. 

As relieved as Kanade was that Mafuyu was away from her mother now, she knew that eventually Mafuyu's mother would come looking for Mafuyu. A surge of protectiveness overcomes Kanade. Maybe she nor Niigo had the power to stop Mafuyu's mom from taking her back, but Kanade would fight for Mafuyu every step of the way. 

She's startled out of her thoughts as she hears whimpers behind her.

"Mafuyu?" Kanade calls out, but there's no answer from the other girl.

Concerned, Kanade goes over to her bed and sees Mafuyu's eyes shut, but incoherent words tumble out of Mafuyu's mouth.

Kanade thinks she can make out the words "don't go", "stop", and "sorry" and Kanade's breath catches. Kanade wishes she could do more, that she could actually take away Mafuyu's pain. But she knows that there's nothing she can do except to keep composing songs in hope that one of them would save Mafuyu or to just try her best to be there for her. Confronting and dealing with her mother was always going to be Mafuyu's job alone. If Kanade could do that for Mafuyu too, she would do it in a heartbeat.

But if it's just the situation right in front of her, maybe Kanade could do something about it.

Kanade takes Mafuyu's hand and murmurs softly, "It'll be okay. I won't ever leave your side."

Kanade gently strokes the back of Mafuyu's hand with her thumb until she hears Mafuyu's breaths slow down to a steady pace. 

Leaving Mafuyu didn't seem like a good idea right now, and Kanade wasn't really making any new progress on the next song either. So, careful as to not disturb Mafuyu's sleep, Kanade also crawls into the bed. She settles herself in and double checks to make sure Mafuyu hasn't been woken up. Satisfied, Kanade whispers one last goodnight into the darkness and closes her eyes. 

Chapter Text

Mafuyu opens her eyes to an unfamiliar ceiling with Kanade sound asleep beside her.

…That's right, I'm at Kanade's house because I ran away from –

An overwhelming sense of nausea rises from within Mafuyu.

I left my mother all alone… I tried to tell her how I felt but she wouldn’t listen at all. Why couldn’t she...?

She sits up, curling into herself. Mafuyu can feel her breaths getting quicker and shorter as she recounts what has happened the day before.

"...Mafuyu?" Kanade's sleep filled voice sounds next to her.

Mafuyu slowly raises her head to look at Kanade, and realizes that she must've woken her. 

Kanade's blue eyes are only partially open, sleep groggy and wincing from the sunlight. But they hold some indecipherable emotion as Kanade makes eye contact with her. 

Mafuyu doesn't know what it is, but the nausea subsides, at least a bit.

"... I'm sorry for waking you," Mafuyu apologizes.

Kanade blinks and then her eyes widen, "Ah... right, Mafuyu has school today."

"Yes," Mafuyu confirms, "I should get ready."

Kanade stops her, "How do you feel?"

"I feel okay," Mafuyu says.

Kanade hums a little before replying, "Will you be okay with being around your classmates and teacher?"

Mafuyu doesn't answer at first, but eventually replies with, "I need to maintain my grades. I also don't want to make my mom worry more."

"I think… you should rest, you shouldn't push yourself right now," Kanade states, "If you think you can still go then I will trust you."

The thought of going to school, needing to put up her good girl self in front of everyone… Mafuyu doesn’t want to face it. It feels too painful. While the heaviness in her chest is lighter than how it was yesterday – you won’t be able to fulfill your drea – Mafuyu still feels dizzy and unwell.

"...I think I do want to stay here today,” Mafuyu says slowly. 

Kanade beams back at her, “You can stay here as long as you want, Mafuyu.” 

Mafuyu acknowledges Kanade’s response with a nod. She then pushes herself up off of Kanade’s bed, eases her feet into a pair of house slippers, and makes to leave Kanade’s room. Mafuyu needed to occupy herself, otherwise – this is a poison to yo – otherwise she would think too much. She still doesn’t want to think. 

“Ah. Mafuyu, where are you going?” Kanade calls after her, concerned.

That is a good question, Mafuyu supposes. Where was she going? If Mafuyu thought about what Kanade would need however, then – 

“I’m going to make breakfast for us,” Mafuyu declares.

Kanade feels her face flush. She did say that Mafuyu could use whatever ingredients and groceries she had, and while it was a nice feeling to have Mafuyu make breakfast for her – it almost felt like Kanade should have known how to cook properly. So that she could provide more for Mafuyu. 

Determined, Kanade also gets out of bed, does her morning routine, and heads over to the kitchen. Maybe Kanade didn’t know how to cook, but she could still help out, right?

Mafuyu seems to have taken to her kitchen well, with an efficiency Kanade can only admire – the rice cooker has already been started and there’s a closed pot boiling away on the stovetop. 

It looks like Mafuyu is still rooting through her kitchen cupboards for something though. Although Kanade approaches relatively quietly, her footsteps creak on the wooden flooring. Mafuyu’s whole body jerks to look at her unfocusedly before a flash of recognition enters her eyes.

“Oh, Kanade,” Mafuyu states as her shoulders untense. 

“Ah, I’m sorry. I came to help,” Kanade apologizes.  

“Oh. Where is the omelet pan? I could find everything else,” Mafuyu questions.

Kanade takes a few moments to think before replying, “...I think it may be in the back somewhere inside the upper cabinets.”    

Mafuyu proceeds to pull over one of the dining table chairs to use as a stepping stool to rifle through the upper kitchen cabinets. As Kanade anxiously watches on, hoping that Mafuyu doesn’t fall or slip on the chair, it seems that Mafuyu has located the omelet pan and carefully extracts it.

Kanade watches as Mafuyu retrieves a few eggs from her fridge, efficiently beats them to a smooth consistency, adds a few more ingredients to the egg, and pours a thin layer of the mixture into the hot omelet pan. When the egg looks to be about half done, Mafuyu deftly rolls up the egg at the bottom of the pan and then pushes it back to the top. She pours another layer and repeats this whole process over and over again until she has a picture perfect rolled egg.

Fascinated, Kanade wonders, “Do you make rolled egg a lot?” 

Mafuyu shakes her head, “No, this is only my second time.”

Kanade gives Mafuyu a small smile. If only her mother could also appreciate Mafuyu the way we do. She has so much to offer.

When Kanade doesn’t respond, Mafuyu continues, “It is a simple process, anyone could do it.”

“A-ah, I see,” Kanade says, flustered. Perhaps Mafuyu was too good? 

But, Kanade thinks wistfully, It would be nice to learn how to cook. Mochizuki was able to explain to me how to cut an onion properly last time. Maybe I can try this? The onion wasn’t cut that well though…

“...Do you think you can teach me?” Kanade asks hesitantly. She didn’t want to cause Mafuyu any more trouble than necess–

“I can,” Mafuyu confirms, moving to the side to make room for Kanade.

Kanade feels awkward and out of place as she takes her place by the stovetop and by Mafuyu’s side.

“Put your hand here,” Mafuyu directs Kanade, “Then pour only enough egg to coat the bottom of the pan.”

Kanade tries, she truly does, but sometimes it feels like her body simply won’t listen to what her mind wants her to do. Kanade’s hand is about to tip the bowl of egg mixture faster than she needed it to, but a firm hand also grasps onto the bowl and slows her pouring down. Kanade lets out a small gasp – when had Mafuyu moved behind her? 

Mafuyu then proceeds to cover Kanade’s hand with her own to guide the egg mixture to an even layer on the pan. Having Mafuyu there, assisting her, makes Kanade feel more at ease and allows her to focus on the actual cooking process. 

“See how the egg is this texture?” Mafuyu points out, “You want the egg to be half cooked and half runny.” 

Kanade looks down at the pan, it was just as Mafuyu said.

“Now you want to roll the egg,” Mafuyu instructs, passing a pair of chopsticks to Kanade.

Kanade’s hand shakes slightly as she moves to gently nudge the egg into a roll. But once again, Mafuyu’s hand guides Kanade’s own in a fluid motion.

“Concentrate on what this motion feels like,” Mafuyu states. 

“O-okay,” Kanade stammers. Learning from Mafuyu was very different from learning from Mochizuki. Mochizuki was happy to give Kanade a lot of instructions and guidance on how to cook, but it seemed that Mafuyu liked to demonstrate things more. 

With Mafuyu’s help, Kanade was able to roll the egg, albeit a bit shabbily, but rolled nonetheless. 

“We need to repeat this process several more times,” Mafuyu remarks, withdrawing her hand.

Kanade slowly nods, pouring out more egg, in a somewhat more controlled manner than last time. She then waits for the egg to cook partway again and attempts to roll it by herself. Kanade struggles with the rolling method, causing Mafuyu to intervene again. But as they keep making the rolled egg, Kanade feels like she is getting the process. On the last layer, Kanade is able to successfully roll the egg all on her own. While it was not quite as pretty as Mafuyu’s, it is probably one of the best looking foods that Kanade has made herself. She can still see the layers where she messed up a little, but overall it is a success for Kanade. 

“....Thank you, Mafuyu. You’re really good at teaching,” Kanade comments warmly.

“It was nothing. I just noticed that you learn best by doing it yourself,” Mafuyu responds nonchalantly.    

Even though that is something Kanade herself had never noticed … She does suppose that is true. Kanade feels blood rushing to her cheeks, and they stay warm for the entirety of breakfast. Between Mafuyu paying close attention to her, Mafuyu guiding her how to cook eggs, and how nice all of Mafuyu’s food tasted – Kanade feels like her heart is going to burst.    

I wish Mafuyu could feel like this too.

While the meal of rolled egg, rice, and miso soup is relatively unremarkable, Kanade thinks that this is the best breakfast she’s had in a long time. 

Chapter Text

"Hello?"

"Good afternoon, this is Mafuyu's teacher. I noticed that Mafuyu was absent from school today. Did she run into some trouble? I know Mafuyu is a good student so it was unusual to see her missing…"

"Oh, I'm so sorry! Mafuyu was very ill today and I was too busy worrying over her to inform the school."

"I'm sorry to hear that, I hope she makes a quick recovery."

"Yes, I hope so too. She may be absent a few more days, but please call back to update me on what she has missed in class."

"Okay, Mrs. Asahina. I know that myself and her classmates will all be eager for Mafuyu's return."

"So am I."

Mafuyu feels restless. A feeling pulls at her to do something again, but Mafuyu isn’t quite sure what. But Mafuyu knows that she would normally be in school, be involved in the committee, the archery club, helping other students, and everything else in between. Now that Mafuyu has time to herself, she doesn’t know what to do. She could study, but she is missing all of her study materials. Furthermore, she also didn’t want to become a doctor – I shouldn’t have given you anything!– anymore and the thought of going to her cram school later gives rise to a tightened feeling in her throat. Mafuyu looks over to Kanade, who is at her desk, pouring over music sheets. 

“Kanade,” Mafuyu calls out to the other girl, her voice tense.

It appears Kanade thinks that something is wrong, because she turns around to face Mafuyu almost instantly, dropping her pen and leaving it to clatter on the desk.

“Are you okay, Mafuyu?” Kanade asks, worry evident in her voice. 

“Is there something I can do?” Mafuyu asks politely.

“Hmm…” Kanade puts her finger to her mouth, “Do you want to go to the SEKAI together? I know Miku and the others miss you. I could ask Mizuki and Ena if they are free too.” 

“..I would like that,” Mafuyu responds.

“Mm. Okay, I will message them,” Kanade says while pulling out her phone to get on Nightcord. She sends a quick message in their group chat, and to both of their surprises, Miku appears on Kanade’s phone.

“...Mafuyu and Kanade want to visit the SEKAI?” Miku asks, head tilted.

“Ah, Miku. This is good timing. Is it possible to bring others to the SEKAI?” Kanade questions.

“...Yes, as long as you are touching someone else, you can bring them to the SEKAI,” Miku confirms. 

“Okay, let’s go, Mafuyu,” Kanade offers a hand out to her.

Mafuyu, feeling uncharacteristically hesitant, reaches out and grabs Kanade’s hand. As she expected, it still gives her a warm feeling in her chest. 

Kanade scrolls through her song playlist, finds ‘Composing the Future’, and plays it.

Every time Mafuyu enters the SEKAI, she can feel tension ease out of her body. This SEKAI was created by her feelings alone, although the rest of the Niigo members were able to add and influence it. Her SEKAI is empty. Empty of all of the expectations placed upon her, empty of all of the people around her, empty of any sort of feeling – just like her. Mafuyu could be and do what she wanted here, in this emptiness. 

In the beginning, there was nothing here but Miku and Mafuyu. Just a blank expanse that went on forever, a place she could escape to be away from everything. But Mafuyu has found that the presence of the Niigo members, while cluttering the SEKAI at times, had made the place feel a bit more…warm. She could easily spy the new accessories Mizuki would bring in for the virtual singers as well as the scraps of cloths and fabrics laying around. Ena’s presence in the SEKAI took the form of an easel with paints scattered around it. And Kanade… Kanade had brought in a music box that she said her father had created. Sometimes Mafuyu would turn the handle to hear it play, letting the gentle notes echo around in the SEKAI. The music didn’t resonate with Mafuyu as much as Kanade’s music did, but Mafuyu could still feel some warmth from the tune. She could understand, even a little bit, why Kanade treasured it.

Mafuyu turns to thank Kanade for bringing her here, and sees Kanade wearing an expression that she couldn’t understand. 

“Kanade? What’s wrong?” Mafuyu queries. Did something happen? Was it a lot of trouble for Kanade to bring her to the SEKAI? 

The expression doesn’t change on Kanade’s face as she responds, “It’s nothing. It’s just, it feels a bit strange to come here together with my smartphone or rather…”

Kanade chuckles a little, and Mafuyu thinks she feels her heart skip a beat. 

“It looks like this will continue for a while,” Kanade finishes with a slight smile on her face. 

Mafuyu agrees – until she gets a new smartphone, the only way she would be able to access the SEKAI is through the others. 

The thought is not entirely unpleasant.  

Mafuyu stiffens as she spies Kaito standing a bit away from her, looking in her direction.

“Kanade,” Mafuyu starts, “I think Kaito wants to talk to me.”

Kanade nods, “Okay, I will wait here. Let me know when you want to go back.” 

Mafuyu approaches Kaito, who has his usual stern look on his face.

“Ah.” Mafuyu did not know what to say to the blue haired Vocaloid. 

“So it’s you,” Kaito says flatly. 

Although Kaito spoke in a harsh tone, he never once did leave Mafuyu’s side when she was confronting her mother. Mafuyu was initially scared of Kaito – he brought things to her attention that only caused her pain. Things that she didn’t want to think about or consider too deeply. But it seemed that Kaito did not have any ill-intentions towards her. 

“Kaito…Thank you for that time. For being by my side with Miku,” Mafuyu states, one hand resting against her sternum. 

“You mean when you talked with your mom..?” Kaito clarifies. “... Did you say everything that you wanted to say?”

“Perhaps…” Mafuyu says slowly – Why can’t you understand what I’m telling you– , “But…” 

“Regardless of how it turned out, you did what you needed to. That’s fine for now,” Kaito interjects.

“...That’s true,” Mafuyu agrees. She lets out a breath that she didn’t realize she had been holding. If Kaito, the most impassioned about fighting against her mother, said it was okay, then perhaps Mafuyu ought to accept what she had done. 

Kaito gives her one last glance before walking away and disappearing somewhere in the vast SEKAI. 

“Mafuyu~” 

Mafuyu looks around to find Mizuki calling out to her cheerily as she approaches, “Kanade told us you were here.”

Ena and Kanade follow closely behind, and once everyone is clustered together, Mizuki mentions, “It’s a relief for all of us to be here together today.”

“A relief you say... If you mean being able to see a certain someone’s face, that might be true,” Ena responds, a wry smile forming on her lips. 

“...Sorry,” Mafuyu apologizes. It seems that in these last two days, there was much apologizing Mafuyu had to do.

“I heard that when I wasn’t able to contact anyone, everyone searched for me,” Mafuyu remarks. The constricting feeling is back in her chest – first her mother, then Kanade, and now the others. How many people was she going to inconvenience? Mafuyu’s fist clenches.  

Kanade notes, “Miku and Kaito were able to find Mafuyu, so we weren’t that useful…”

“Right~ So we should decide on a place to meet up when something happens again,” Mizuki chimes in. 

Ena says incredulously, “That’s the kind of thing you do for disaster response planning with your family…” 

Kanade replies, seemingly a bit pained, “That kind of situation…I definitely don’t want to be in again.” 

Mafuyu’s knuckles turn white. Mafuyu remembers how trapped she felt yesterday. Of having nowhere to go. She knew where Ena and Kanade lived, but she could not allow herself to trouble them. At some point, Mafuyu was prepared to simply stay there by herself at Shibuya Park. And then later, after she had talked to her mother… she could no longer go back home either. Mafuyu had resigned herself to wandering aimlessly in the rain until Kanade brought her to her home. 

Out of the corner of her eye, she notices Kanade giving her a concerned glance. 

Ena acquiesces, “That’s true, we don’t want to run around everywhere again. That would be way too troublesome!” 

“So let’s agree on a location together~” Mizuki insists.

“Mafuyu, where do you think would be a good place?” Kanade questions.

“...I tried going to the family restaurant first, but didn’t find anyone there,” Mafuyu mentions, “I was in Shibuya Park when Miku and Kaito found me.”

Ena declares, “Let’s make our emergency spot the family restaurant then. We already go there for all of our celebrations.” 

“Hmmm,” Mizuki vocalizes, “But what if the family restaurant is closed? We should use Shibuya Park as our second meeting place just in case!”

Mafuyu, Ena, and Kanade all give their assent to Mizuki’s proposal. 

“We can also work together in the SEKAI more too,” Kanade suggests.

Ena adds, “If we work in the SEKAI, we can avoid having Mafuyu be found by her mother too.”

Mizuki says uncertainly, “I don’t think it would hide Mafuyu completely. She’s met with Kanade before, so she knows her name and face.”

An unpleasant jolt goes through Mafuyu’s body, and Mafuyu has to catch her breath. So my mom did meet Kanade. When did this happen? What did she say to Kanade? Why did no one tell me?

“...You met with my mother?” Mafuyu croaks out. She had wondered how exactly her mother knew Kanade by name. This must be why. 

Mizuki’s eyes widen at her mistake and she says helplessly, “I-I’m sorry, Kanade.”

Ena jumps in to defend Kanade, “Kanade just didn’t want to burden you…We all agreed that it would be best!” 

“Ena…” Mizuki says solemnly, “We should leave for now and let them talk.”

“But–” Ena exclaims, but she cuts herself off and follows Mizuki instead, shooting the pair one last glance.

That Kanade had known, that Mizuki and Ena had known, but Mafuyu was kept in the dark. Mafuyu isn’t sure what to think. When Mafuyu had told them that she had to be careful about staying up to work with Niigo, Kanade hadn’t mentioned anything about it to her. Her head is spinning. She feels dizzy. Mafuyu feels sick. 

Out of the four, only Kanade remains standing in front of Mafuyu, shoulders hunched and not quite meeting Mafuyu’s eyes.

“...Let’s talk back at home,” Kanade says in a small voice.

Mafuyu feels a complicated twist of emotions at Kanade’s words, but brings herself to nod. 

Chapter Text

Kanade takes a deep breath. Mafuyu is seated across from her at the dining table. At the time, Kanade had thought it was a good idea – Mafuyu still loved her mom and didn’t want to think poorly of her. But maybe she shouldn’t have kept it a secret. Maybe she should have recognized that if Mafuyu’s mom wanted to keep it a secret, she shouldn’t have agreed.   

Mafuyu glances at Kanade’s trembling hands, making the guilt weigh more heavily on Kanade’s heart. Kanade didn’t deserve pity. Although her intentions were good, she had still betrayed Mafuyu’s trust in a way. 

Kanade swallows, “...It started when your mother contacted me on Nightcord.” 

“How did she find you on Nightcord?” Mafuyu interrogates.

“...I don’t know for sure, but we suspected she had gone through your computer and discovered me on Nightcord, ” Kanade admits.

“...So that’s why my laptop was broken and then sent in for repairs,” Mafuyu voices numbly.

Kanade turns her face away from Mafuyu. If Kanade had told Mafuyu, maybe Mafuyu could have taken precautions and potentially avoided the situation. 

“I thought about ignoring it at first but… I thought that maybe she would trouble you more if I did. Your mother had already found out about us so…” Kanade confesses. 

Mafuyu stays silent, leaving Kanade no choice but to keep explaining.

"She told me to stop making music with you. She was very insistent on it, telling me that you had your own dream you wanted to pursue…” Kanade falters, “And I believed her, a little.”

Kanade turns to peek at Mafuyu’s reaction. Mafuyu isn’t looking straight at her either. The other girl’s gaze had dropped to her trembling fists on the table.

Kanade bites her lip, “...If you had your own dream, I didn’t want to distract you from it. But you also said that you wanted to continue making music with Niigo and I told her that I wouldn’t stop unless you said it yourself. So she suggested we meet in person.” 

Mafuyu flinches at her last several words and looks at Kanade fully again. Kanade grimaces – she can see just how tense and rigid Mafuyu is. But there was still more to tell Mafuyu.  

“Afterwards, we picked a time and location. And I saw–” Kanade stutters, “I saw your fight with Kaito in the SEKAI. So then I thought maybe I could talk to her and reach an agreement so that you could keep making music with us.”

Mafuyu still doesn’t respond, her expression troubled.

“I thought that because it’s your mom, that she would listen to me,” Kanade pauses before tentatively continuing, “Because I remember how much my mom cared about me and wanted me to be happy so… I thought it would be the same for you, Mafuyu.” 

Kanade can see Mafuyu’s face become ashen. Kanade closes her eyes briefly. This was why she didn’t want to tell Mafuyu. Kanade didn’t want to hurt Mafuyu, but…it looks like in the end, Mafuyu’s mother may have used it against Niigo. 

“...I see,” Mafuyu replies, sounding a bit more monotone than usual.

“I tried to have a good conversation with her… and I told her things like what Niigo does and how long I’ve known you,” Kanade shakes her head sadly, “I shouldn’t have said those things. They made your life more difficult.” 

Mafuyu nods, but murmurs, “You didn’t know what my mom is like.” 

Kanade winces, but swallows before speaking again. 

“I told your mother that you were hurting… and to let you continue making music,” Kanade says, voice shaking with equal parts sadness and anger, “I thought that she would change her mind after she heard that.”

Mafuyu seems to have closed her eyes in response.

“But she didn’t, in the end. And we couldn’t come to an agreement either,” Kanade concludes quietly,"We–I was careless. I didn't think she'd go so far as to target your computer and smartphone.”

Mafuyu abruptly gets up from the dinner table, “...I need time to think.” 

Mafuyu leaves through the front door without another word.

Kanade starts to get up to follow Mafuyu, but she lets out a pained gasp as her heart clenches. Would following Mafuyu be the right choice? Would it hurt Mafuyu more? Wasn’t she partially the reason why Mafuyu’s mom became harsher towards Mafuyu? Is it her fault – just like what you did to your father – that Mafuyu is suffering so much right now? 

Kanade knows she can’t leave Mafuyu outside alone. But Kanade feels like she is buckling under the weight of all the guilt. It’s all my fault. She can feel the tears pricking her eyes. Kanade had never wanted to hurt anyone. But she kept hurting the people around her, despite her best efforts. How could she be allowed to– 

“Go after her.”  

Kanade almost drops her phone out of shock as Kaito suddenly projects from it. 

“...But will going after her help things? What if I make things worse?” Kanade whispers.

“When she ran away from her mother, she came to you. Now you need to go find her,” Kaito states flatly.

“Okay,” Kanade shakily agrees, rubbing the corners of her eyes with a sleeve. Making sure Mafuyu was safe is more important than however Kanade feels at the moment. 

“I’ll go bring Mafuyu back,” Kanade states resolutely.  

It’s dark outside, but it’s a cloudless summer night. It’s warm, but Mafuyu feels so, so cold.

It seems that everyone had been keeping secrets from her. It seems her mother had been collecting information all this time and using it to poke and prod Mafuyu for the truth. But Mafuyu couldn’t fault her mother – she had been lying all this time to her. Was this how her mother felt whenever Mafuyu lied? This uncomfortable writhing sensation in her stomach? It hurts. It hurts. It hurts.

Is she angry at Kanade? Mafuyu doesn’t know. 

Does she feel sad that Niigo hid things from her? Mafuyu doesn’t know.

Mafuyu doesn’t know. She doesn’t know anything. It’s cold, it’s numb. Mafuyu needs to be empty. If she is empty then it won’t hurt anymore. 

Mafuyu lets out a shuddering breath. She needs to be empty like her aquarium, with only sea grass swaying in the water. She needs to be empty like the SEKAI, a reflection of her own heart. She needs to be empty like a doll–

Mafuyu collapses onto the ground, trembling. 

Could she return? 

Could she go back to square one? 

She had run from her mother, and now Kanade. 

You know that’s not true.  

What she truly was running from was–

“Mafuyu!”

“Ka..nade,” Mafuyu says weakly.

“...I’m sorry…” Kanade crouches on the ground in front of her, “I’m sorry. I should have told you.”

Kanade slowly reaches out towards Mafuyu. Mafuyu doesn’t attempt to move away and lets Kanade tentatively wrap her arms around her.

Mafuyu leans into the touch and closes her eyes, “...I don’t know how to feel.”

“You can be angry at me,” Kanade voices quietly. 

“...I don’t want to be angry at you,” Mafuyu murmurs, fingers curling around her wrist. 

Kanade says patiently, voice unsteady, “Your feelings aren’t wrong, Mafuyu. If you don’t express them then…”

“I’m afraid you will lose yourself again,” Kanade concludes softly. 

Mafuyu feels her body stiffen. Mafuyu tries to stop averting her eyes from reality. To stop putting a seal on her emotions. To stop running away. She takes in a shaky breath.

“...I am angry at Kanade,” Mafuyu looks up into Kanade’s eyes. 

Kanade only nods, a sad expression on her face.

Mafuyu glances away. Stop running away. Mafuyu returns her gaze back onto Kanade.

“I also feel… sad. At Kanade,” Mafuyu continues, “That you thought you couldn’t tell me. That you couldn’t trust… me.”   

Pain flashes in Kanade’s eyes and Mafuyu has to bite her lip before speaking again. Her fingers dig into her wrist. 

“But I feel… confused. I feel… lost,” Mafuyu whispers, “I want to forgive Kanade. But… you did the same thing as… Mom. I…don’t want to forgive her.”

Mafuyu has to stop. It feels like there is a constricting feeling around her throat. It’s too much. Her own mother. If she would forgive Kanade but not her mom, who she loved, who loved her then– 

“My mother, she–” Mafuyu gasps out, “She kept telling me that it was for my own good. You also tell me that you did it because…because you thought it would be best for me.”

Mafuyu shrinks away from Kanade, curling further into herself. She can feel Kanade putting a comforting hand on her, rubbing circles in her back. 

“Why…?” Mafuyu chokes out, “Why does it feel different when Kanade does it? My mom loves–” 

A wave of nausea takes her breath away. 

Mafuyu recalls Kaito’s angry face flashing before her mind, “ That person is trying to kill your feelings. ”

Her mom wouldn’t–

Her mom would. 

Her mom would, even if it hurt Mafuyu. 

Her mom would, for the sake of Mafuyu living up to her image of a perfect daughter.

Her mom would, because while her mother cared about what value Mafuyu could provide, she didn’t care about – 

It’s too much. 

It’s too painful. 

This is why Mafuyu kept running away.

But now she has nowhere to run. 

“Why, why couldn't she listen?!” Mafuyu cries out, tears forming in the corners of her eyes, “I told her how I felt and yet...!”

Everything is spilling out.

“Why... didn’t she care?!” Mafuyu sobs, “I told her I was hurting! You told her I was hurting! Why doesn’t my mom–” 

Kanade delicately pries Mafuyu’s hands away from her face.

“We all care about you, Mafuyu,” Kanade says, gently squeezing Mafuyu’s hands.

Kanade’s hands are cold. But they make Mafuyu feel warm. Mafuyu buries her face into Kanade’s shoulder, and squeezes back. 

Something hardens in Kanade’s voice, “No matter what your mom may feel about you, we are all here. I will never leave you.” 

Mafuyu continues to cry on Kanade’s shoulder, the tears streaming down her face seemingly endless. 

But it’s okay.    

The summer night is warm. Kanade’s hand is warm. And Mafuyu is warm. 

Chapter Text

Mafuyu wakes up to her school alarm, Kanade groaning beside her from the noise.

"Are you going today..?" Kanade mutters sleepily, rubbing her eyes.

"Yes," Mafuyu confirms. Mafuyu feels a bit wobbly inside still, but it feels like after last night that a lot of the pressure building inside her had found some form of release. At the very least, Mafuyu doesn’t feel that the idea of going to school is unbearable. 

Kanade blearily scans her face, and seeming satisfied, doesn't comment further.

As Mafuyu is about to leave, Kanade speaks up, "Ah, Mafuyu, today the housekeeper is coming. I think you might need to hide somewhere… but where would be good?" 

"I could go to the SEKAI again and see Miku," Mafuyu suggests.

"That's a good idea. I'll let Mizuki and Ena know too," Kanade remarks.

Mafuyu nods, "Okay, I will try to hurry back today from school."

"I'll be waiting for you," Kanade says, gazing at her with an emotion Mafuyu couldn’t recognize. 

Kanade’s gaze lingers in Mafuyu’s mind even as she leaves for school. 

–

As Mafuyu walks down the hallway of Miyamasuzaka Girls Academy, she spies Emu cheerfully humming to herself as she carries several books in her arms.   

“Hello, Otori,” Mafuyu greets her pink underclassman with a smile. 

Immediately, Emu lets out a squeak, almost dropping her items. 

“A-asahina!” Emu stutters out with wide eyes, “It’s g-g-good to see you!” 

Emu pauses and peers at Mafuyu for a few moments and then blinks at her, “...Asahina seems different today!” 

“Different?” Mafuyu queries. 

“Yeah! Like… less scary!” Emu exclaims happily, a wide grin on her face.  

Confused, Mafuyu tilts her head, “I’m scary…?”

“Eeep!” Emu cowers, “Please forget I ever said that. Please f-f-forgive me!” 

Mafuyu could only watch as Emu dashes away from her.

Different..?  

Mafuyu doesn’t feel much different. She’s still doing her best to live up to the other students’ and teachers’ expectations of her. Mafuyu thinks if she behaves how she does around Niigo, there would be too much shock from the people around her. And if Mafuyu drops the mask, what would remain of her? 

Mafuyu has nothing, after all. 

Mafuyu quickly composes herself as she notices one of her teachers walking towards her.

“Asahina, it’s good to see you today,” her teacher greets.

Mafuyu dips her head respectfully, “I’m sorry for my absence yesterday.” 

“It’s okay, I’m glad you were able to make a swift recovery,” her teacher responds.

“Ah,” Mafuyu is caught off guard and briefly hesitates, “...Recovery?”

The teacher gives Mafuyu a strange look, “Your mother told me you were terribly sick yesterday. She was quite worried about you.”

An unpleasant feeling ripples through Mafuyu, but she forces a smile, “Oh, yes I was feeling very unwell yesterday." 

"Are you sure you feel okay now? Asahina always works so hard for everyone, I don't want you to push yourself too much," her teacher explains.

"Thank you for worrying about me, teacher. I feel good enough to attend today," Mafuyu replies in a friendly tone.

"Okay, I shouldn't hold you up too much, class is about to start!" the teacher remarks. 

Mafuyu nods in acknowledgement.

–

Mafuyu is sitting in classroom 2-B, half listening to the lecture, half lost in her thoughts. 

My mom has talked to my teacher. She must be keeping track of what I am doing still. I should be careful. 

Her breath hitches, but Mafuyu carefully regulates her breathing back to normal. 

Mafuyu doubts her mom will let her stay away from home for long. But, if she upkeeps her grades at school, then perhaps…

"--sahina? Do you know the answer to this question?" the teacher asks.

Ah. She wasn't paying attention. Mafuyu refocuses her attention to the problem her teacher is pointing to on the chalkboard. 

It takes Mafuyu a few short moments to study the math problem there, mentally calculating it in her head using the strategies she was taught. In the end she is able to come up with the answer without too much time passing.

“That’s correct,” her teacher notes, “However…are you okay Asahina? Perhaps the sickness from yesterday is affecting you more than you thought.” 

Mafuyu attempts to recover, using a slightly embarrassed tone and a smile, “Sorry, teacher. I guess I am feeling more tired than usual.”

The teacher acknowledges her and continues lecturing for the rest of the class.

–

Miyamasuzaka’s lunch break rolls around and Mafuyu feels a pang of emptiness. Normally, she would find a way to sneak off to a secluded area to work with the rest of Niigo. But with her smartphone in such a state, she can’t even message Niigo. Maybe it is for the best, as her mom would also be unable to reach her for now. 

Mafuyu finds her usual spot for lunch, but before she could start eating a few of her classmates swarm her.

“Asahina! It’s great to see you eat here again, we all missed you!” one of them chimes in.

“Ah, I’ve also missed eating with everyone too! I apologize for being away for so long,” Mafuyu pitches her voice to cheerily reply.

“It’s okay Asahina! We understand that you need to focus on your studies!”

“No, we’re sorry for having you help us with our classwork all the time!” 

“Asahina is so admirable, wanting to become a doctor. I don’t think I could make it! But I know you would definitely be able to do it!”

Mafuyu does everything she can do to prevent a grimace from forming on her face. Instead she changes her expression to a thoughtful one, “You know, I was thinking… I wonder if being a nurse is just as good?” 

“Oh? What about your dream of becoming a doctor?”

“I think becoming a doctor is really admirable, but there was an event that I volunteered at where a nurse helped take care of a little girl who fell. While I was watching her, I thought ‘maybe I want to be even closer' to the patient. The girl stopped crying because of her and was able to be happy again because of the nurse,” Mafuyu explains casually with a smile.

“That really sounds like Asahina! She’s always so helpful and kind to everyone. She would be perfect as a nurse!” 

“But… a doctor could help more people, right?”

“Doctors get paid more too!” 

Mafuyu patiently responds, keeping her tone light, ”Doctors do a lot, but nurses are the first ones that help people in need. I want to work directly to help people and let them smile. I think that would be a small price to pay for doing something so wonderful.”

“If it’s Asahina, I think she will be successful no matter what.” 

“Huh, it seems that Asahina is really passionate about being a nurse!” 

Passionate..? Do I really seem that way? 

Mafuyu interjects to change the topic, “Enough about me, how has everyone been since I was away for a while? I must have missed a lot.”

As her classmates chatter away about their lives, Mafuyu eats her lunch and watches their expressions. Mafuyu injects energy into her voice if they’re excited, smiles when they’re happy, and says comforting words when they’re sad. Her mask of a perfect student is well-worn, and her fellow classmates do not take note of anything different. 

“Ah! Lunch ended already!”

“I’m sorry, Asahina, we’ll have to catch up more later!” 

Mafuyu contorts her face into a smile, doing a little wave with her hand, “Yes, let’s talk again tomorrow!” 

–

The rest of the school day passes by rather uneventfully, and the only thing remaining before she can leave is the archery club. It’s strange, usually Mafuyu wanted to prolong her time at school. But today, it seems that she didn’t mind the idea of leaving early. 

Shizuku is already there to greet her as Mafuyu walks in. 

“Asahina! It’s good to see you!” Shizuku says enthusiastically.

Mafuyu brings herself to also say happily, “Hinomori, it’s good to see you too.” 

“Let’s have a good practice today!” Shizuku exclaims.

Mafuyu twitches her mouth into a smile, “Of course!”

Thunk.

The arrow hits its target, but is noticeably further from the center than usual.

Mafuyu is not calm. 

Mafuyu can’t seal her thoughts away entirely like she used to. 

In fact, they seem to constantly churn in her mind. 

Thunk.

Her classmates had called her passionate. But Mafuyu has never known passion. There is no iron certainty, no burning desire, no grand ideal within her guiding her what to do. Everyone else knew what they liked, what they loved, and what they hated. 

A person like her, without these things – was Mafuyu even a person?

If Mafuyu was born without passion, then what could she do? 

Thunk.

But Mafuyu thinks that maybe she has a few likes now. She likes being a part of Niigo and making music. 

Mafuyu remembers the little girl with a scraped knee. And when the girl was crying, didn’t her body move on its own to help her?

She remembers crouching down in front of the girl, examining her wound, and treating it. She remembers how nothing seemed to matter in that moment aside from ensuring that the girl was okay. 

Thunk.

She remembers repeating a phrase, a phrase she learned sometime long ago. A phrase someone must have said to her, warmly. 

She remembers the girl smiling and then joyfully reuniting with her mother. 

She remembers thinking that if she could be the reason for more smiles like this, she wouldn’t have minded it. 

Thunk.

Is that what ‘like’ was? 

“Asahina… Are you alright? Is there something troubling you?” Shizuku asks.

None of Mafuyu’s arrows had hit the center.

“Ah, it seems that my sickness from yesterday is still affecting me,” Mafuyu says apologetically. 

“Oh no! Asahina was sick yesterday…?” Shizuku questions.

“Yes, that’s why my aim is a little bit off today. But I’ll be fine in a few days, there’s no need to worry, Hinomori,” Mafuyu placates.  

“I see…” Shizuku says thoughtfully, “Then I hope you feel better soon, Asahina.”

“Thank you for the well wishes,” Mafuyu says in a warm tone. 

Mafuyu checks the time. If she hurries home now, then she will be able to make it back before Kanade’s housekeeper comes over. 

“Ah, Hinomori, I have to leave now,” Mafuyu informs Shizuku.

“Oh? Do you have somewhere to be, Asahina?” Shizuku queries.

Mafuyu thinks about Kanade, at home, waiting for her return.

“Yes, someone is waiting for me,” Mafuyu confirms, a light feeling fluttering in her chest. 

Shizuku’s eyes flick to the corners of Mafuyu’s mouth briefly before offering her a smile, “That someone must be very important to Asahina.” 

“They are.”

Chapter Text

“Hm. I have not received another phone call from Mafuyu’s teacher. I suppose that child returned to school today…but…”

…

“Hello?”

“This is Mafuyu’s mother, I was wondering how Mafuyu seemed today? I wasn’t sure if I should have let her go to school today.” 

“Mafuyu did seem a little unwell today. But, she was working very hard as usual.”

“Ah, that child. She insisted on going to school today. As her mother, I can’t help but be worried about her overexerting herself.”

“I understand your concern, Mafuyu does do a lot to help us teachers and her fellow classmates.” 

“Yes, can you let me know if her grades worsen?  Mafuyu is such a good child, I’m concerned that she’ll wear herself out and her grades will drop. Mafuyu may try to hide it from me because she's so kind, but I don’t want her to overdo it.”

“Of course, Mrs. Asahina. I will let you know. I also don’t want to see Mafuyu overwork herself.”

“Thank you, this makes me feel more at ease.”

Kanade nervously paces around the house, waiting for Mochizuki. While Mafuyu is safely sequestered away in the SEKAI, Kanade can’t help but worry about Mochizuki noticing something unusual.

The doorbell rings and Kanade hastily goes to answer it. 

She opens the door and greets Honami, who is carrying several bags of groceries.

"Mochizuki, thank you again for stopping by today," Kanade says graciously.

"Please don't thank me, I'm happy to be of help to Yoisaki," Honami replies with a soft smile. 

Honami steps into Kanade's house and begins to put away the bought groceries.

Honami makes a surprised noise as she opens the fridge, “Huh? Did you cook for yourself?”

“A-ah yes,” Kanade stammers, “After you taught me a few things, I tried to do it myself.”

Honami turns to look at Kanade with shining eyes, “I’m glad that you’ve found interest in cooking! What did you make?” 

“Err.. Some rolled egg and miso soup… and other things,” Kanade answers shyly. 

“That’s wonderful!” Honami exclaims happily, “I’m glad Yoisaki has found a new hobby.” 

“U-um yes,” Kanade responds, “Cooking is very difficult…” 

Ah… I feel bad for deceiving Mochizuki. 

“If you’d like, I can teach you when I come over,” Honami offers.

“Thank you for the offer, Mochizuki. I’ll be in your care,” Kanade accepts. 

She thinks of Mafuyu, how she had been cooking for the two of them as of late. Kanade wishes she could do the same for Mafuyu. Even though Mafuyu is in her care right now, it sometimes feels like the other way around..? 

As Honami continues to put away groceries, she speaks up again, “Yoisaki, I’m sorry if this is nosy but…you seem to be a bit more relaxed today. Is the person you care about in a better situation?” 

Kanade tenses, “Yes… you could say that they are in a better position, but… in some ways you can say it is worse?”

Honami gives her a sympathetic look, “It seems that the person Yoisaki cares about is stuck in a complicated situation, huh…” 

Kanade runs her fingers through her hair, “Yes...”

“A-anyway, I can teach you how to make the meat and potato stew that you like! Stew is very easy, because you only need to prepare the ingredients and add them together with a few seasonings and water,” Honami explains.

Kanade agrees, “That sounds like a great idea, Mochizuki.” 

“Ah! But you do have to make sure you cook the meat before you add it with the other ingredients,” Honami hastily adds. 

“That does make it a bit more difficult…” Kanade winces.

“I believe that you can still do it, Yoisaki!” Honami raises her arms in front of her earnestly. 

“O-okay, let’s try,” Kanade feels blood rush to her cheeks from embarrassment.

“Excuse me while I get all the ingredients for it,” Honami says politely.

After a few minutes of preparation, Honami gestures for Kanade to stand beside her by the sink.  

“Let’s start with the potato,” Honami says encouragingly, “We need to skin it. Please pay close attention to my hands as I skin the potato.”

Kanade watches Honami intently as she deftly wields the peeler. Honami’s hand makes long smooth strokes across the potato, neatly parting the skin from the rest of the potato. There is hardly any excess potato being taken off with the skin. 

“Do you want to give it a try?” Honami prompts Kanade.

“A-ah, yes,” Kanade confirms.

Under Honami’s watchful eye, Kanade tries to mimic what she witnessed. Perhaps she isn’t gripping the peeler firmly enough, or maybe she is being clumsy, but the potato skin is only coming off in small chips. When she tries to perform one long continuous motion with the peeler, it feels like it keeps getting stuck along the potato. 

“Yoisaki… try holding the potato like this,” Honami demonstrates for her, “This way your grip will be firmer and your fingers won’t get in the way.”

Kanade readjusts her grip and does find that this position gives her more space to use the peeler. She presses down with the peeler and moves it across, only for the potato to be flung out of her hand and into the sink.

“Ah..” Kanade can only stare helplessly at the potato. 

“It’s okay,” Honami reassures, “We can rinse this off and try again.” 

Honami rinses the potato for her and hands it back to Kanade. As Kanade is about to try peeling it again, Honami interrupts her, “Ah, sorry Yoisaki, you can also try holding your peeler so that the blade is more parallel to the curve of the potato… that way you get mostly the skin.”

Kanade tries following all the directions that Honami has helpfully given her, but despite everything, Kanade’s peeled potato turns out very noticeably lumpier and smaller than Honami’s potato. 

“...I’m sorry for ruining your potato,” Kanade apologizes.

“Oh, please don’t worry, Yoisaki! It will all look similar when we’re finished with the stew!” Honami says comfortingly.

Kanade somehow survives “helping” Honami prepare the rest of the stew, with the pot currently simmering on the stovetop.

“If you don’t mind, Yoisaki, I'll go and do the laundry and cleaning while we wait for the stew to be ready,” Honami excuses herself.

“Okay,” Kanade consents. 

After Honami leaves the vicinity, Kanade retreats to her room. She's worried about leaving Mafuyu in the SEKAI by herself, but Kanade does also know that Miku and all the other Vocaloids will happily keep Mafuyu company. 

Kanade is about to message Niigo with her phone, only to realize that Mafuyu still has it with her. So she gets to her computer and gets on Nightcord there. 

[K]: How is Yuki doing in the SEKAI?

[Enanan]: I visited her earlier to go say hi, but it turns out she was napping! Hmph. I suppose she deserves a break though… 

[Amia]: It looks like Yuki has a lot more free time to nap these days~

[K]: I’m glad to hear that

[Enanan]: I heard from Miku that Yuki was in the SEKAI because your housekeeper is over?

[K]: Yes, she’s still here. We just finished making stew and she’s cleaning the house now.

[Amia]: K, did you make sure to hide Yuki’s things before Mochizuki came over?

[K]: Yes…although I still worry. Mochizuki noticed that there was less food in the refrigerator.

[Enanan]: She didn’t suspect anything strange, right??  

[K]: I told her that I was trying to learn to cook…

[Amia]: Ahaha! K, cooking? I’m surprised your housekeeper believed that! You only know how to make cup noodles 

[K]: Please don’t laugh...

[Enanan]: It just means that K is an honest person, unlike someone I know…

[Amia]: Who? Me? I am always honest! If anything, Enanan is the dishonest one, putting all those filters on her selfies!

[Enanan]: It’s to improve the composition!

[Amia]: Improve the composition of how your face looks?

[Enanan]: You wouldn’t understand! 

Kanade smiles as Mizuki and Ena get into one of their usual fights. She really appreciates their music group – while Kanade is perfectly capable of creating music by herself, she knows that with their help her music could save more people. 

Kanade recalls when it was only her, with the days and nights blending together. The only people she would talk to would be her grandmother and whenever Mochizuki came over for her housekeeping job. Other than that, Kanade’s life was single mindedly focused on creating music. Because if Kanade didn’t compose music, then what had her father’s hospitalization been for? She knows that the only thing she is good at is music. If Kanade couldn’t contribute with the one thing that she is good at then – 

It would be better for her to disappear. 

But then Mafuyu came along. She told Kanade that her music had saved her. Kanade remembers feeling like she was finally allowed to breathe a little easier from all the guilt. If she saved enough people, then she could make up for the fact that she was the one responsible for her dad being in the hospital. 

Kanade also found that her and Mafuyu were on similar wavelengths. It was easy to work with Mafuyu and she was able to help Kanade refine her music closer to what her original vision was. It no longer felt as lonely when Kanade could talk to Mafuyu all those long nights about their music together. The nights are still dark with only a bright screen lighting up the room, but Kanade knew that Yuki was on the other side. That someone, who understood her music, was beside her. 

Kanade is interrupted from her thoughts as she hears knocking on her door. Perhaps Mochizuki was going to inform her that the stew was ready to eat? 

Minimizing Nightcord, Kanade calls out to Honami, “Please come in.” 

“Umm… Yoisaki? I don’t mean to overstep but…”Honami hesitantly says, “Why was this in your dryer?”

Kanade looks over to see Mafuyu’s school uniform in Honami’s hand. 

While Mafuyu had helped Kanade remove traces of her living there, Kanade had forgotten entirely about the uniform still being in the laundry. 

“I didn’t mean to pry but…this is Miyamasuzaka’s uniform, so I recognized it…” Honami notes reluctantly, “But Yoisaki doesn’t go to Miyamasuzaka…”          

“...My friend accidentally left that here,” Kanade tries to lie, “We had a sleepover earlier this week… I still need to return it to her.” 

“Oh, so that’s how it is,” Honami responds, seeming surprised, “If Yoisaki would like, I would be more than happy to help you return this uniform to your friend. It wouldn’t be much trouble to me.”  

“I-it’s okay, Mochizuki,” Kanade stammers, “They will be coming by later this evening to pick it up.” 

“If you don’t mind me asking… what is her name?” Honami questions, “There’s a chance I might know them!”

“U-um… well… that’s,” Kanade fumbles. She has no answer for Mochizuki. What was she supposed to tell her? Could she make up a fake name? 

However, after seeing Kanade’s reaction, Honami backs off instantly. 

“I’m sorry…it looks like I made you uncomfortable…” Honami apologizes, looking despondent,  “I got too excited. When I saw the uniform I thought maybe I could get to meet another one of Yoisaki’s acquaintances.” 

“It’s okay, Mochizuki,” Kanade comforts, “I… just don’t think this person wants to be known.” 

Honami looks at her, worried and confused, but seems to accept Kanade’s reason. 

“Um.. other than that, everything is done. I left a bowl of stew for you on the dining table so you can eat it tonight,” Honami mentions. 

“Thank you again, Mochizuki,” Kanade acknowledges gratefully.

“I’m happy to be able to assist Yoisaki,” Honami smiles at her, “I’m also happy that you seem to be better today!”

“...Better?” Kanade queries.

“Yes, it feels like you are happier and less stressed,” Honami explains, “Yoisaki has been working so hard for the person she cares about for so long. It’s good to see that you are taking a break.”

“I see…” Kanade contemplates, “...But it’s also because of Mochizuki that I can relax.” 

Honami seems very happy because of Kanade’s comment, and they say their respective goodbyes as Honami departs from the house. 

[K]: Mochizuki has left. Can someone contact Yuki to let her know?

[Amia]: I’m on it~ 

There’s only one bowl of stew on the dining table, so Kanade pulls out an extra portion of stew for Mafuyu. 

It’s nice to be able to eat with someone.  

Ever since her mom passed away, Kanade and her dad rarely would eat dinner together anymore. Her dad would always be locked away in his room, making music for his various commissions. In fact, Kanade usually would be the one to remind him to eat something.

When Mafuyu appears in the living room with her phone, Kanade can’t help but smile tenderly.

“Welcome home, Mafuyu.”

Chapter Text

“I’m home,” Mafuyu responds, the words feeling oddly warm in her mouth. 

Every time she's back in Kanade's house, she is always struck by how disorganized it is – even with a housekeeper. At her own house, everything had its place and nothing was moved without purpose. If Mafuyu had to put words to it, her own house felt closer to a museum display – cold, lifeless, taxidermied. As if everything was calculatingly arranged for someone else's eyes. 

Kanade's house, however messy, had indications that someone lived there. Mafuyu finds that she preferred Kanade's and internally winces when she knows that her mother would disapprove of such a place. 

“Dinner is ready, Mochizuki made it,” Kanade mentions as she takes her seat at the dining table, “I tried helping a little… but it seems it’s a bit difficult after all.” 

Mafuyu takes her seat across from Kanade and blinks at her, “I believe that you could do it. You don’t possess any qualities that would stop you from cooking well.” 

“A-ah, thanks Mafuyu,” Kanade responds with a small smile. 

“What did you make with Mochizuki?” Mafuyu questions, picking up her spoon.

“It’s a meat and potato stew,” Kanade answers, “Oh, but the meat is beef –” 

Mafuyu doesn’t hear the rest of Kanade’s sentence.  

She thinks she may have heard her spoon clatter on the table.

She thinks that maybe someone was calling her name. 

She thinks about her mom, mentioning over and over again how Mafuyu’s favorite food is beef stew. That it was her mom’s way of rewarding her or expressing how much she cares. 

Mafuyu has eaten beef stew countless times. 

Every time it has made Mafuyu feel very cold inside.

One by one, sensations return to her awareness.

She feels her heart pounding in her chest.

She hears the sound of her labored breathing.

She smells the scent of the cooked stew.

She sees that Kanade’s arms are wrapped around her, squeezing her close.

“Ah… Kanade,” Mafuyu rasps.

Kanade doesn’t respond, but Mafuyu can feel her trembling.

Mafuyu is unsure what to do in this situation, but she recalls how Kanade would comfort her and circles her arms around Kanade, holding her firmly.

“...I’m here,” Mafuyu murmurs.

Mafuyu waits patiently for Kanade. Mafuyu is willing to wait forever like this for Kanade. It is only fair given what Kanade has done for her.

"Mafuyu..?" Kanade whispers after an indeterminate amount of time.

Mafuyu feels a pang of hurt go through her heart. 

"Is everything okay?" Mafuyu tries to speak softly, gently. 

"Y-you're still here... I was worried," Kanade replies weakly.

"Why wouldn't I still be here?" Mafuyu asks, confused.

"I thought I had lost you there…just like my dad," Kanade's voice is barely audible.

Mafuyu knows that Kanade cherishes her dad. She frequently visits him at the hospital. She keeps his music box in their shared SEKAI. 

"Oh," Mafuyu responds. It would make sense then, that Kanade had a strong reaction to… what had just happened to Mafuyu.

"I'm sorry for worrying you," Mafuyu apologizes.

"N-no, it's not your fault," Kanade insists, albeit unsteadily.

A moment passes. 

Mafuyu doesn’t know what to say. She thinks that she has to say something or to at least explain the cold heavy feeling sitting on top of her chest. 

“...Sad,” Mafuyu voices, barely getting the word past her lips. 

Kanade raises her tearstained face to meet Mafuyu’s eyes, “...What made you sad?”

“...Beef stew,” Mafuyu mumbles.

“Ah, do you not like the beef stew?” Kanade asks uncertainly, before apologizing, “...I’m sorry. I helped Mochizuki with it this time so it may not be good…” 

“No,” Mafuyu replies with a lot of effort, “It’s… not that…Not because of Kanade.” 

All Mafuyu is trying to do is to speak. Speaking shouldn't be difficult. It doesn't make sense.

But it is difficult. Like she is trying to dig a moat with her bare hands. Like she is trying to carve into a rock with a toothpick. Like she is trying to shout over a thunderstorm. 

“...Mom,” Mafuyu bites out.

Kanade waits for her.  

Mafuyu takes a deep breath.

“She… would always make it,” Mafuyu starts, “For me.”

“Mafuyu… associates beef stew with…her mom?” Kanade slowly pieces together. 

Mafuyu nods. 

“I’m sorry…I didn’t know,” Kanade apologizes, a pained expression on her face, “I wouldn’t have made it with Mochizuki if I had known…” 

Kanade looks away from Mafuyu and down at the stew, voice trembling, “It seems like… I keep hurting Mafuyu.”

Mafuyu shakes her head, “No…that’s not…”

She thinks that she should speak more, say more, about how warm Kanade makes her feel. But the words get stuck in Mafuyu’s throat. 

“...I can make you something different,” Kanade offers, voice still shaking.

“No.. this is fine,” Mafuyu disagrees, “...Kanade helped make this.” 

To prove her point, Mafuyu takes a spoonful of her stew and eats it. 

The beef stew may have gone cold, but to Mafuyu it is the warmest beef stew she has ever tasted, like the sound of a crackling flame on a cold winter night. It tastes of a hint of warmth, distant but still present. 

“It’s warm,” Mafuyu notes.

Mafuyu thinks she sees confusion flash in Kanade’s eyes, but then Kanade smiles at her.

“I’m glad.” 

As Kanade and Mafuyu eat their chilled beef stew at the dining table together, Kanade remembers that she should recount what happened with Honami. She never wants to keep Mafuyu out of the loop ever again, intentionally or unintentionally.

“Ah, Mafuyu,” Kanade hesitantly breaks the silence, “Earlier today…Honami found your uniform…and noticed the missing ingredients.”

Mafuyu seems relatively unmoved by this revelation and asks, "...What did you tell her?"

"Err… that a friend had slept over and that I was learning to cook," Kanade replies, "... I hope that was okay to say."

"Did she believe you?" Mafuyu questions.

"...I think so. But Mochizuki started to ask questions about who the uniform belonged to since she goes to the same school," Kanade says, feeling guilty.

It's my fault that it was left there. I told Mafuyu that she could go to the SEKAI earlier to take a break. I didn't think to check the laundry room…

Kanade shakes herself out of these thoughts and continues, "I didn't tell her who it was… and she stopped pressing me for an answer." 

"...I see," Mafuyu comments.

"I'm sorry," Kanade apologizes yet again.

"You tried your best," Mafuyu states.

You tried your best. The words echo around Kanade's mind. What if her best wasn't enough? Does it matter if she hurts people? If it can't save people? 

"Are you okay?" Mafuyu queries.

She knows Mafuyu has – is going through many things right now. It wouldn't be fair of her to burden Mafuyu with her own troubles.

Kanade gives a small smile, "Everything is okay."

"Kanade doesn't seem okay," Mafuyu counters bluntly.

"I-I… shouldn't tell you," Kanade replies.

"I want to know," Mafuyu's face seems uncertain, and then she nods to herself, "I…want to understand Kanade." 

Mafuyu wants this? If Mafuyu of all people wanted to, then…

"Okay," Kanade concedes, "I'll tell you."

Kanade swallows. It’s always painful when she revisits her old memories, especially the ones where everyone is happy. 

“When I saw your reaction…” Kanade starts, “I thought that it was my fault… that you were going to be hospitalized… like my dad was.”

Kanade pauses to take a deep breath. The guilt is overwhelming, inevitable, like an ocean wave creeping up a beach.

"I found my dad… collapsed one day. The doctors said it was because of stress," Kanade elaborates.

She really had tried to make her dad happy, to help him, to – but none of that mattered. In the end, Kanade’s “help” had led to her dad being in a coma, hospitalized. 

"I didn't notice that he was working so hard… and I read his notebook and…" Kanade stops again.

Mafuyu is still patiently watching her.

Kanade needs to keep going with her story. Mafuyu asked. 

“And it was my fault… My dad overworked himself because of what I did…" Kanade summarizes, voice unsteady.

Kanade’s dad had charged her with creating music. He said her music could save people. That her music is a gift. 

Except Kanade hasn’t saved anyone. She hasn’t even saved Mafuyu. 

"Mafuyu was also hurt earlier because of me…it's all my fault,” Kanade finishes, "I promised to save you…but…"

"It's not your fault," Mafuyu retorts, with more vehemence in her voice than Kanade has ever heard before, "None of it is." 

Kanade can feel tears tracking down her face again.

“But if… I had never decided to make music, then maybe…” Kanade chokes out through blurred tears, “Maybe Dad would be happy now.” 

Kanade feels Mafuyu’s arms hesitantly wrap around her again.

“If Kanade never picked up music… I wouldn’t be here,” Mafuyu states flatly.

“I…haven’t saved you yet,” Kanade whispers.

“You will. I believe you can,” Mafuyu says, steel in her voice. 

Mafuyu’s arms tighten around her.      

Within the confines of Mafuyu's arms, Kanade thinks that she can pretend for a little while. Pretend that she never decided to shoulder the burden of composing, of using her gift. Pretend that she is allowed to pursue her own happiness without any care in the world.  

And it’s silly, Kanade thinks. Silly that Mafuyu is the one comforting her right now when she is going through so much herself. 

But perhaps that’s what matters the most – that in the end, they are there for each other.

Chapter Text

The pair is back in Kanade's room, with Kanade in front of her midi controller while Mafuyu herself occupies a makeshift desk they had dragged into Kanade's room.

In the background, Mafuyu can hear dull taps as Kanade experiments for a new demo. The noise strangely doesn't distract Mafuyu at all and her pencil glides across the page of her homework. 

School assignments are of no issue to Mafuyu. They're rather simplistic. Either they require her to simply repeat what she has memorized from class or she merely needs to apply what her teacher has talked about. Homework is just a matter of how fast Mafuyu can read the question and write the correct answers. 

Studying on the other hand, still takes Mafuyu time. Though her memory is excellent, it only assists in problems that require rote memorization. Application is a different story. She has to take the information her teachers have lectured to her and see how it functions in a different or real life setting. 

For a job in the medical domain, it’s sometimes not enough to know that the myelin sheath of a nerve cell is made up of primarily fat and protein, but also why (to better facilitate electrical signals). 

After an indeterminate length of time, she’s finished with her school work and Mafuyu looks over to see what Kanade is doing. 

The white haired girl is still tapping away at her midi controller, a frown adorning her face. 

"If it’s like this…" Kanade mutters to herself and then plays a few tentative notes with her left hand, "Perhaps this should be the accompaniment?"

Mafuyu watches Kanade for several moments longer before she's filled with a strange urge. So Mafuyu goes over to Kanade and taps the shorter girl on the shoulder.

“Ah, Mafuyu?” Kanade responds, taking off her headphones.

“...Can I hear?” Mafuyu requests. 

Kanade smiles at her, “Of course.” 

Mafuyu drags a seat over and takes a place by Kanade's side.

"This is what I have so far…" Kanade trails off as her fingers dance along the keys, playing a somber yet hopeful tune. 

It has all the elements of Kanade’s usual songs, but it doesn’t make Mafuyu’s chest feel warm. The sound feels too muddled for Mafuyu to pick apart and offer a suggestion. It’s like there’s too many ideas fighting to be heard. As if someone is trying to paint a canvas using only neon bright colors, like the painter is unsure what the final image is supposed to look like.

“There’s too much extra noise,” Mafuyu remarks.

Kanade nods knowingly, “I thought you would be able to tell… I’m still trying to figure it out.”

“I see,” Mafuyu replies.

Kanade’s gaze locks onto the time on her computer. 

“Ah, it’s past our meeting time in the SEKAI,” Kanade comments, a bit sheepish. 

“Let’s go then,” Mafuyu states, extending her palm towards Kanade.

Mafuyu thinks she sees Kanade’s eyes shine with an undefinable emotion before the other girl takes her hand, sweeping them both into the SEKAI.

As expected, Ena and Mizuki are already there waiting for them. 

Mafuyu thinks that these SEKAI meetings have been more frequent than usual. If she has calculated properly, Niigo has met in the SEKAI at least once a day since…since she started living at Kanade’s house. Instead of logging onto Nightcord at 25:00, it seems that their new meeting spot is in the SEKAI itself now. 

Mafuyu doesn't have her own device to access Nightcord with, after all.  

“We were wondering when you two would get here!” Ena huffs.

“Now, now, Ena. They weren’t too late,” Mizuki placates.

“Ah…sorry, I lost track of time,” Kanade apologizes. 

Ena’s expression softens, “It’s fine. I’m sure having an extra person to look after is distracting.” 

Mafuyu wonders if she should mention her mother. Whether Mafuyu intended to or not, she supposes that everyone in Niigo is involved on some level now. It would be a disservice to not tell them. They deserve to know.

"My mom… she's keeping track of me still,” Mafuyu informs. 

“What?!” Ena exclaims, “That woman seriously hasn’t left you alone??” 

Mizuki has a complicated expression on her face, “Well… we knew it wouldn’t be that easy.”

Kanade turns to Mafuyu and questions, “...How do you know?”

“My teacher told me that Mom said I was very sick yesterday,” Mafuyu answers, feeling a twist in her stomach.

“Why would your mom say you were sick…?” Kanade queries.

“Yeah, why would that person cover for you??” Ena exclaims and then mutters unhappily, “But I guess it helps Mafuyu…” 

“Haha well,” Mizuki says, hand scratching the back of her neck, “It doesn’t look very good after all if people knew a student like Mafuyu skipped school.”

Mafuyu’s fist clenches. As much as she wants to believe that her mom did it for her own benefit, Mafuyu likes to think that she knows better now.

“...She probably did it because it would make her look bad,” Mafuyu responds, monotone.

“That’s true, she definitely couldn’t say something like ‘my daughter ran away from home,’” Mizuki concludes thoughtfully.

Mafuyu looks away from the group, biting her lip, “...And it gives her an excuse to keep asking about me.” 

“What excuse??” Ena says indignantly. 

“...To ask if I seem okay, if my grades are suffering, among other things,” Mafuyu answers. 

Mafuyu closes her eyes briefly.

Could she never escape her mother’s gaze? 

She supposes that perhaps it didn’t matter in the end, school has always been where there were eyes everywhere, watching her.

“As I thought… Mafuyu’s mom will not give up on her…” Kanade responds, frowning.    

"If Mafuyu goes back home, what if her mother tries to separate her again from us? She doesn't have a phone or computer anymore," Mizuki questions.

Kanade dips her head in agreement, "You’re always welcome to stay at my house, Mafuyu…But I'm worried that you won't be able to contact us normally."

"Oh! I know!" Ena interjects, "What if we asked for donations? I recently heard a story about how someone had their expensive camera broken by a thug and then a bunch of people donated to get them a new one! Niigo is popular enough that we have fans who will support us. We could maybe get Mafuyu a new smartphone!"

"Oooh that's a good idea Enanan!" Mizuki compliments enthusiastically, "Do you think we could get enough money to get another synthesizer for Mafuyu too?" 

Hearing that, Mafuyu's chest instantly feels lighter, "I think… I would like it if I could use a synthesizer again."

"Then that's settled. Mizuki and I will spread the message on our channel and social media accounts!" Ena proclaims.

Kanade smiles at Ena, "Thank you, Ena."

Ena flushes with pride, "I won't let you down!" She turns towards Mafuyu and scolds, "And don't let your mother take it away from you again!" 

Mizuki comments, tilting her head, "But how can we stop Mafuyu's mom from confiscating it again? She took it while Mafuyu was at school after all."

Kanade stares at Mizuki, seemingly lost in thought.

"Mizuki… you've been bringing accessories for Rin and the other Vocaloids. We've even had a party in the SEKAI. Maybe Mafuyu could leave her synthesizer here," Kanade suggests.

Kanade makes eye contact with Mafuyu, "Do you think that would work?"

"...I think so," Mafuyu vocalizes, "There may be trouble going to and from the SEKAI if my mom checks up on me. But… I know Miku and the others will watch over it."

At the thought of being able to acquire and protect her future synthesizer, Mafuyu feels a sensation akin to a buzz spread all over her body. Her skin tingles. She doesn’t know what this feeling is meant to be. 

"Okay, sounds good! Me and Enanan will work on that right away! Someone has to keep an eye on Ena to make sure she doesn't use any of the money on sweets!" Mizuki teases.

"Hmph. As if," Ena huffs indignantly, "If anything, you would spend the money on new clothes!"

"Awwww, Ena, don't have such little faith in me. I wouldn't do something like that to Mafuyu," Mizuki says playfully.

"And neither would I!" Ena snaps.

Mafuyu feels a hand curl around hers. It’s Kanade’s. 

After holding hands several times, Mafuyu thinks that she could recognize the feeling of Kanade’s hand anywhere. Kanade’s hands are always a bit cold to the touch. They’re dainty and struggle to play more than an octave on a piano. They’re always a bit on the dry side, as Kanade works long hours into the night composing music for Niigo. 

Most importantly, they always make Mafuyu feel warm.  

Kanade smiles, still holding Mafuyu’s hand, “It seems like that’s settled then. Mafuyu and I will head back now. I still need to work on a new demo.”

“Okay!”

“Alright~” 

Kanade almost misses the warmth of Mafuyu’s hand after she reluctantly lets it go. But she has more pressing concerns – such as the next demo for Niigo. 

Kanade doesn’t know why this demo in particular has been difficult for her. Usually it’s an inspiration issue, but this time there is no lack of inspiration.

How could there be, when Mafuyu is right beside her? 

Mafuyu, who finally summoned the courage to confront her mother and then took refuge with her. 

Mafuyu, who has made a breakthrough in her path in discovering herself.

Mafuyu, who helps Kanade without asking for any thanks in return, between cooking for the both of them to making their shared bed to tidying up Kanade’s messy room. 

And maybe it’s because Kanade’s feelings are all jumbled up that it’s hard. She’s grateful, she’s happy, she’s sad, she’s relieved, she’s worried, and every other emotion under the sun when it comes to Mafuyu living with her.

Kanade thinks that most of all though, she wants to see Mafuyu smile. To see Mafuyu find herself and then smile with her whole heart. To that end, Kanade will do whatever she can to help Mafuyu.

Kanade sighs. That still doesn’t change how she feels stumped about this next demo though.

“Is something wrong?” Mafuyu’s voice chimes from somewhere behind her.

“A-ah. Well,” Kanade pauses, “I’m still having trouble with the new demo…”

“Do you need inspiration?” Mafuyu queries.

“N-no, that’s not the problem this time…” Kanade says, cheeks flushed and not quite making eye contact with Mafuyu. 

She…couldn’t very well tell Mafuyu that she was having trouble with the demo because she was thinking too much about her, right? 

“Your face is red. Perhaps we should go to sleep early tonight,” Mafuyu notes. 

“Err… Maybe I’ll do that,” Kanade responds awkwardly, “Thanks, Mafuyu.” 

Mafuyu only nods back in acknowledgement.

Changing the subject, Kanade speaks again, “...I have been thinking about this but… If you want, you can use my phone to go to the SEKAI by yourself in the future.” 

Mafuyu gives her a long stare before replying, “Thank you.” 

“...No need to thank me,” Kanade responds softly, and then takes the opportunity to hurriedly get ready for bed. 

It's only the third night since Mafuyu started staying over, but Kanade thinks they've established a kind of routine, almost. 

Mafuyu showers first because Kanade's hair takes forever to dry. They brush their teeth together. Then Kanade takes her own shower and Mafuyu helps dry and comb through Kanade's long hair afterwards. 

Kanade has known that Mafuyu cares about all of Niigo, but just didn't express it in more traditional ways. It was one of the main reasons why she and Ena butt heads a lot in their group. Admittedly though, it is nice to experience firsthand how much Mafuyu cares.

Kanade can tell through how Mafuyu offers – steps in, more often than not – her help whenever she notices Kanade struggling. Through the way Mafuyu gently and meticulously brushes her hair, taking care to disentangle strands without it pulling on her head much. And how Mafuyu always makes the effort to say goodnight to her before they both try to fall asleep. How maybe those 'goodnights' from Mafuyu were a touch less monotone than her usual self. 

Mafuyu cares about Kanade, and it's scattered through all the tiny, quiet moments between the two of them. 

Thinking about all of this puts a smile on Kanade's face as she drifts off to sleep under the safety of her covers, right beside Mafuyu.

Chapter Text

Kanade wakes up to Mafuyu gently shaking her.

Her bed feels too comfortable. Kanade is reluctant to leave just yet and makes a half-hearted roll towards Mafuyu.

“Kanade,” Mafuyu calls, still shaking her. 

I should get up, Mafuyu has to leave for school soon.

Kanade groggily slides out of bed under Mafuyu’s watchful eye, and the pair heads over to the dining table together. 

Kanade sees that their bowls and utensils have been neatly set up already.  

“I made egg rice with miso soup,” Mafuyu explains, taking her usual seat.  

Kanade looks down at her food. It’s beautiful.

The raw egg yolk is situated perfectly in the middle of the rice, almost reminiscent of a glowing sun. Furikake seasoning is applied evenly on top of the rice, with a generous amount of thinly sliced green onion sprinkled about. 

If someone had told Kanade that her egg rice was made by a professional chef, she would believe it. Kanade still sometimes can’t believe how talented Mafuyu is.   

“Thank you for the food, Mafuyu,” Kanade says, picking up her chopsticks. 

“It was no trouble,” Mafuyu responds politely, “Egg rice is convenient to make.”

Kanade takes a bite of the food Mafuyu has so carefully prepared for her.

She can taste the creamy richness of the egg sitting on top of the white rice. The rich flavor is further enhanced by the seasoning, the saltiness of the furikake bringing out the egg flavor. It’s not too heavy on Kanade’s tongue as the sharp taste of the green onion cuts the richness down to end on a more refreshing note.  

“This tastes really good,” Kanade says earnestly.

“I’m glad that Kanade likes it,” Mafuyu responds in her usual muted way. 

But Kanade sees the corners of Mafuyu’s mouth lift into a slight smile. 

Kanade can’t help but look at Mafuyu tenderly in response. 

The moment is broken as Mafuyu’s smile curves into a small frown as Mafuyu starts eating her own portion of food. 

It would be nice if Mafuyu could one day taste again. 

“Oh, Mafuyu, I will be visiting my dad later today…I might not be home when you get back,” Kanade remarks. 

“Okay,” Mafuyu acknowledges, “I’ll be going now then.”  

Mafuyu moves to clean up the dishes on the table, but Kanade hastily stops her.

“It’s okay… I’ll take care of it this time,” Kanade insists.

Mafuyu doesn’t argue with her and the two of them instead walk over to the front door together. 

As Kanade stares into Mafuyu’s eyes, she says softly, “...I hope you have a good day at school.”

“Mm,” Mafuyu nods and turns to leave. 

Kanade’s gaze is leveled on the back of Mafuyu’s head until she rounds a corner and disappears from her line of sight.

It’s a bit bittersweet, seeing Mafuyu off like this.  

Turning back to the remnants of their breakfast, Kanade lets out a small sigh.

“I should clean the dishes now,” Kanade mutters to herself. 

Being as mindful as she could, Kanade stacks a few of the bowls together, carries it over to the sink, sets it down, and repeats until all the dishes are (somehow) safely settled in the sink.  

Kanade grabs the sponge and squeezes a bit too much soap onto it.

I guess I’m still too clumsy… At least it’s not too bad if there’s too much…  

Kanade pushes on. She wanted to do something for Mafuyu in return. This is simple enough for her. 

As the water runs over her hands, warming them, Kanade feels that the house is a little emptier without Mafuyu’s presence. It’s not as lonely – a feeling Kanade had to re-recognize – as before. But there is still a distinct lack of something important. 

If I was able to go to the same school as Mafuyu…I wonder what that would be like?

If Kanade also attended Miyamasuzaka Academy, then she would be in the same year as Mafuyu. And maybe they could even be in the same class together. 

But that would require Kanade to have a regular schedule. To set aside her composing. 

That was an unacceptable option for her. 

Kanade still remembers, sometimes, the girl she used to be before her parents – 

She remembers feeling so full of hope and energy. Things… seemed to matter more. Music matters to her of course, but she remembers liking school. 

Kanade would come home from school, and her mom would be there to welcome her back. Her dad would then come out of his room to take a break from composing. And then the both of them would sit around and listen to Kanade talk about her day. 

Kanade can feel the corners of her eyes prick with tears. The guilt, all the guilt, threatens to drown her.

Kanade directs her focus back to the dishes. It’s difficult for her sometimes, to scrub away all of the food debris stuck on the bowls. The bowls always feel like they’re about to slip her grip if she uses too much force. But if she doesn’t use enough force, they would never get clean. 

Kanade perseveres regardless. It’s what little she could in repayment.

Once all the dishes are safely, albeit a bit messily, stowed away on the drying rack, Kanade glances around the empty house. 

Kanade has a song to write still. 

But even as she cranes her neck over music sheets, scribbling black notes onto paper, or plays different variations of the melody line – it doesn’t seem quite right. 

Kanade is also tired. Her body is not used to being awake so early. The notes and blank music sheets blur together in front of her.

Maybe I’ll close my eyes for a bit…

Kanade lays her head on her arms and closes her eyes – 

…

– And when they next open, Kanade can feel that a slice of her shoulder and back is significantly warmer than the rest. 

Kanade lifts her head and narrows her eyes at the bright afternoon rays of light peeking through her curtains.      

I…should go visit Dad now before it gets too late…  

Kanade gathers her belongings and tentatively steps outside, locking the door behind her.

The day is picturesque. The sky is a brilliant blue, with hardly a cloud in sight. Kanade can feel a gentle breeze ruffling her hair. By all objective metrics, this would be a lovely day to spend outside.  

Kanade dislikes being outside. It’s miserable.

The sunlight is too bright. She wishes that there were more clouds, that the sun doesn’t bear down on her so unforgivingly. That there is no breeze to create new tangles in her hair. Oftentimes, she would get jostled around by strangers due to her short stature too. 

Kanade has to hold one hand to her hair to prevent it from constantly obscuring her view. As she painstakingly walks on her usual route to the hospital, one particular store catches her eye.

It’s a flower shop. 

I know a little about flower language now after making Mochizuki’s gift… I want to give something to Dad too.  

Kanade pulls open the door to the flower shop, hearing a little bell ring as she does so.

It’s overwhelming, the amount and variety of flowers that Kanade could choose from. The bridal event had flowers too, but not to the degree that a whole dedicated shop would have. Kanade doesn’t know where to even start. 

The florist at the counter looks up at her, “What can I help you with today?”

“... I want to buy some flowers for my dad,” Kanade answers.

“We have a wide selection of bouquets,” the florist gestures to the many colorful flowers, “I’m sure your dad would be happy to receive any of them.”

“A-ah, I was thinking that I wanted to put together my own bouquet for him,” Kanade stammers. 

The florist seems to be intrigued, “Oh, what flowers did you have in mind?”

“...I don’t really know,” Kanade answers, but hastily adds, “But I do know that flowers can have certain meanings.” 

The florist looks thoughtfully at Kanade, “Hmm, well, we do have a book on flower language you can reference. If you go to the rose section, you’ll find it. Please let me know if you require additional help.” 

“...Thank you,” Kanade responds politely. 

The book in question is far more detailed than the pamphlet that Kanade flipped through at the bridal festival. It not only mentions the meanings of flowers, but also what the different colors meant. 

Let’s start with carnations… I know Dad likes them. 

It looks like all the different carnation colors, except for yellow, have positive meanings to them. Red carnations in particular, represented motherly or familial love, so Kanade mentally notes that they will be the centerpiece of her bouquet.

Consulting the book diligently, Kanade then picks out chamomiles and yellow daffodils. Finally, one last flower catches her eyes.

“Purple sunflowers…I didn’t know they existed,” Kanade murmurs. 

Kanade has always thought of sunflowers as happy flowers. Sunflowers face the light after all. But, it seems that purple sunflowers symbolize grief.

Kanade takes her selections up to the counter.

“I see you chose something!” the florist starts excitedly, but then gets an actual good look at the flowers, “Hm. It seems this bouquet is very important to you.” 

Kanade can’t meet the florist’s eyes, “It is.” 

No more conversation is exchanged as the florist carefully arranges Kanade’s selection and wraps it into a bouquet.

“Here you go, miss. I hope that your dad likes it,” the florist says kindly, handing her the bundle. 

“...Thank you,” Kanade responds, diverting her eyes to the flowers.     

This bouquet is nothing like the one she gifted to Mochizuki. Whereas Kanade felt nothing but gratitude and warmth towards Mochizuki, this bouquet held all of Kanade’s wishes and regrets. A selfish wish for her dad to return, to remember. To withstand adversity – and Kanade isn’t even sure if that’s more for her dad or for herself. And all of her regret and sorrow that he’s in this position to begin with. 

Kanade’s grip on the bouquet tightens ever so slightly. 

It’s fitting. Almost beautiful amidst all the tragedy. 

When Kanade steps through the hospital doors, she’s immediately approached by a nurse.

“Yoisaki!” the nurse excitedly calls for her, “Your dad is awake today!”

Kanade’s heart skips a beat, did her dad remember her now? Was he okay? Could he talk?

Her hopes are dashed as the nurse leans over to whisper in her ear, “He still thinks he’s waiting on his child being born.” 

Kanade can feel her heart sink with every word. 

I wish he… Kanade closes her eyes briefly. But this is what I deserve so…

Kanade thanks the nurse, before taking a deep breath and stepping into her dad’s room with a smile.

Alerted to her footsteps, Kanade’s dad turns to look at her with surprise, “Oh, did you get those flowers for me?”

Kanade can feel her mouth twitch into a more pained smile, “Yes, I did.” 

Her dad shakes his head, “I’m sorry, I still can’t remember who you are but…” 

His gaze settles fondly on the flowers, “Carnations are my wife’s favorite flowers.”

Kanade’s breath hitches and she says slowly, “...Yes.” 

“I really wish I could get better soon so I can return to my wife’s side,” her dad says wistfully, turning to gaze out the window.

“I hope that you’ll get better soon too,” Kanade states sincerely. 

A moment of silence settles between them as Kanade carefully sets down the flowers into a vase by the windowsill. 

Kanade feels like her throat is closing up, but she manages to ask, “...Are you worried about raising a daughter?”

“Haha, what parents aren’t nervous? I want my daughter to be the happiest little girl in the world,” her dad chuckles. 

Dad… wanted me to be happy so badly. And this is how I repaid him.

It takes everything within Kanade’s power to not start crying then and there. What would be the point? Her dad doesn’t even know who she is.

“What… if… your own daughter hurts you?” Kanade chokes out. 

Her dad gives her a concerned look, but ultimately answers with, “Well… that’s okay. Sometimes we’ll hurt each other but it’s a parent’s duty to protect their child!”

You wouldn’t say that if you knew what I had done.

Kanade’s lip trembles. Her eyes flick to the sunken hollows of her dad’s cheeks, to his thin arms and sickly pale skin.

I did all of this to you.

“Miss…I don’t know what your parents are like, but if you hurt them, I’m sure they will forgive you,” her dad says empathetically.

Kanade’s fists only clench in reaction to that. Her gaze drops to her own shaking fists.

I…can’t forgive myself. Even if you may forgive me… how could I have done this to you? It’s been years and you still haven’t recovered. 

“I apologize, miss. I must have hit a sore topic,” her dad apologizes.

“No… It’s okay,” Kanade responds hastily, “...I’m sorry for making the conversation awkward.” 

Her dad grins sheepishly at her, “How about we talk about something else? We must have known each other fairly well if you’re bringing me flowers!” 

“Ah…” Kanade doesn’t really know what to say.

Her dad is looking expectantly at her. Kanade swallows. 

“Err… well…we know each other because of music,” Kanade finally replies. 

“Music?” her dad asks, a slightly confused look on his face.

“I…compose music,” Kanade answers, more softly than usual.    

“Oh? I’m surprised. It’s rare to see composers as young as you,” her dad comments, “You must have a gift, miss.”  

Bile rises in her throat. Kanade almost feels like the room is pitching forward. If not for the fact that she is already seated, Kanade is certain she would have stumbled. 

A gift. Sometimes it feels more like a curse. Is this how Mafuyu felt, with all of her gifts? If Kanade could hardly bear the weight of one gift, then how did Mafuyu deal with all of hers? 

It must be suffocating. It must feel like drowning.   

“I-I have to go now,” Kanade forces out, her voice strained.

Kanade dips her head respectfully and leaves immediately, not wanting to see her dad’s reaction.

Kanade stumbles through the hospital, tears blurring her eyes. She thinks she hears a nurse or two call after her, concerned.

Kanade can’t hear anything beyond the pounding of her heart.

It’s all my fault. 

My fault. My fault. 

Why am I sad? I don’t deserve to feel sad. 

This is all my fault. 

I don’t have the right to grieve. 

The carnations that Mizuki helped her find enter her field of view.

When did I get here…?

Kanade crouches down, gently cradling a carnation. She feels the velvety petals tickle her palm and Kanade leans forward to take in the sweet scent. 

White carnations… mean pure love.

Pure love, the kind of love that both of her parents always gave her.

And yet she –  

The sky is clear, the birds are chirping, and the breeze still curls gently around her. 

The partially setting sun dyes the white carnations in a soft yellow. 

Yellow carnations, which mean – 

Contempt.  

Kanade dislikes being outside.

Chapter Text

“Hello? This is Mafuyu’s mom. I’m sorry for calling you again this week, but did Mafuyu have another absence?”

“Ah, Mrs. Asahina. Yes, Mafuyu was missing again two days ago.”

“Oh, is that so…? I apologize for that child’s absence then.”

“No need to worry, Mrs. Asahina. We know Mafuyu is a very diligent student, so she must have a good reason for taking a break from cram school.” 

“Yes…Please keep me updated if you notice anything unusual. I don’t want Mafuyu to overwork herself.” 

“We can do that, Mrs. Asahina.”

“Thank you very much.”

Her school is done for the day, and Mafuyu relaxes her facade once she’s confident no one she knows is nearby. She can feel exhaustion creep up her body more than usual. 

On the walk back, Mafuyu’s feet drag a bit more than usual. Not quite as slow as when she would walk back to her parent’s house, but also not quite as fast as she normally returns to Kanade’s home. 

But eventually, Mafuyu does reach Kanade’s home, using a spare key to unlock the door.

“I’m home,” Mafuyu voices.

No one answers her.

A sinking feeling starts gnawing at Mafuyu’s heart, and so she begins throwing herself into her homework immediately.

Her heart feels heavy. It’s not that it’s cold, but something doesn’t feel quite right.  

Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, Mafuyu finishes her schoolwork quickly. She gets up and paces around the room. Mafuyu also takes a moment to peek out the window, unsure of what she’s even looking for. 

Kanade’s room starts to feel too small.

Why…do I feel like this?

The blood is rushing through her ears again. Her breaths quicken.   

Dizzy, Mafuyu braces herself against a chair. 

Her gaze settles onto black and white keys. 

Kanade’s midi controller. 

Gingerly maneuvering herself into the chair, Mafuyu places her hands on the keys.

It feels cool against her fingertips.

Her heartbeat quiets back down into a murmur. 

Mafuyu plays Kanade’s song, the one that first made her smile. The notes wash over her, banishing her previous feelings. 

The sun is about in the same position as that day. 

The day of the Shibuya festival. After being the odd one out in a sea of all the passionate performers. 

Even without her mom, Mafuyu still doesn’t know who she is. Without her, Mafuyu doesn’t know what to do either. 

Did the problem really lay with her mom?

She’s not here right now. And Mafuyu doesn’t feel any closer to discovering herself.

But she did like playing the piano with Kanade. That has to be another ‘like’ – or else why would she play until it was unwise to stay out longer? 

She remembers that nothing else seemed to matter at that moment, only the piano notes echoing around the street and Kanade at her side.

Kanade.

Kanade… was still struggling with a new demo. 

Mafuyu plays the same notes that she heard yesterday. It’s still muddled. There’s something buried in Kanade’s demo though, a singular something that warms Mafuyu inside more than she could ever explain.

Mafuyu pares it down, trimming away the distractions in the sound. Her fingers dance along the keyboard, well-used to the labor. 

The melody first starts feather light, tentative. 

Then it picks up a new bass line, crescendoing alongside a desperate melody line.

The keys press against her fingers, but Mafuyu is too focused on the song.

The sound peaks and then relents, smoothing out to a gentle, music box-like melody. 

It feels like something is being released. That something was locked up in her chest is now finally being set free. 

It’s been so long. So very long since Mafuyu could do any sort of mixing. 

Her heart is pounding again. But it doesn’t quite feel unpleasant. 

“...Mafuyu?”

Mafuyu snaps her head towards the entrance to witness Kanade looking at her with an incomprehensible emotion. 

“I’m home,” Kanade says.

The words feel stuck in her throat, but Mafuyu manages to croak out, “Welcome home.” 

“...You completed the demo,” Kanade observes.

Something’s off with Kanade.

“I’m sorry if that was overstepping,” Mafuyu apologizes politely.

“Ah, no. It actually makes me very happy that you did,” Kanade responds. 

Mafuyu tilts her head at her, “...Why?”  

Kanade’s eyes flick to the ground before making eye contact with her again and smiling. 

“Because… Mafuyu expresses herself the best with music,” Kanade says. 

Something’s wrong.

Mafuyu can’t help but ask, “...I express myself best with music?”

Kanade opens her mouth to say something, then shakes her head slightly, “You… were able to bring out my idea.”

Mafuyu blinks, “What was your idea?”

“...A wish,” Kanade simply responds. 

Mafuyu didn’t feel like there was a wish in the song, but… it does make her chest feel light and warm. 

Something hasn’t been right about Kanade though. Mafuyu can't quite put her thumb on it, but Kanade has been smiling and it’s a bit crooked.  

"...Could you play it again for me?" Kanade requests.

Shelving her observations for later, Mafuyu accedes and uses the playback function.

It’s no less potent than the first time – the song thoroughly shakes Mafuyu’s core. It fills her with renewed warmth, like rain collecting in an abandoned bucket.

Mafuyu lets out a soft sigh.

“...It’s not unexpected that Mafuyu needed to be the one to complete this demo,” Kanade comments quietly. 

Kanade’s earlier expression is still buzzing in the back of Mafuyu’s mind. 

“Kanade, what’s wrong?” Mafuyu finally asks. 

“...I guess I can’t hide it from you after all,” Kanade’s voice trembles weakly. 

Much to Mafuyu’s alarm, Kanade starts crying.  

“M-my dad… how could I…” Kanade sobs. 

Rushing over, Mafuyu asks urgently, “What happened?” 

Kanade takes a moment to wipe away her tears before stammering out, “He… just wanted me to be happy… a-and.” 

Mafuyu gently pulls Kanade into a hug. She can feel Kanade reciprocate with shaking arms. 

"It's… all my f-fault," Kanade whispers.

Mafuyu feels a heat rise in her stomach. 

"You didn't put your dad in the hospital," Mafuyu states.

Kanade breaks free from her hold to look at her with panicked eyes, "I did!"

"I don't understand," Mafuyu replies.

"I. I helped him! And because I helped him he was hospitalized!" Kanade exclaims, gripping Mafuyu’s shoulders.

The feeling in Mafuyu’s stomach only grows in intensity.

“You made music. You did not hospitalize your dad,” Mafuyu retorts.

“But..!” Kanade protests.

Mafuyu tugs Kanade’s hands off her shoulder, and holds them instead. Something inside Mafuyu snaps. 

“It’s. Not. Your. Fault,” Mafuyu says vehemently. 

 Kanade sniffles.

“Kanade is kind. So she thinks it’s her fault. But your dad was irresponsible, not you,” Mafuyu explains. 

“How can you say that??” Kanade yells back, voice cracking. 

Kanade tries to slip her grip, but Mafuyu only holds on tighter.

“Because he left you behind,” Mafuyu says flatly. 

“He-” Kanade breaks off, muffling her sobs into Mafuyu’s shoulder.

“He didn’t take care of himself and left you alone,” Mafuyu repeats firmly. 

But she lets Kanade take any measure of comfort she could. 

“It…it’s lonely,” Kanade whispers brokenly.

Mafuyu wraps her arms around Kanade and squeezes her close.

“I’m here,” Mafuyu murmurs.

Mafuyu can feel Kanade’s body slowly relax into hers.

“...I’m sorry for shouting at you,” Kanade finally says. 

Mafuyu doesn’t reply and rests her head on top of Kanade’s. 

“...I still feel guilty,” Kanade confides.

Mafuyu expels a breath through her nose, “It’s fine as long as you know it’s not your fault.” 

“Mm,” Kanade concedes. 

When Kanade pulls away this time, Mafuyu lets her. The shorter girl’s lips are trembling as she smiles at her, but Kanade’s eyes are crinkled this time. 

Tension unwinds from Mafuyu’s body. 

Kanade seems better now.  

Kanade still feels like her insides are scraped raw, but it’s no longer punctuated with an overwhelming amount of guilt. 

She isn’t sure how long she stayed with the carnations. Only the thought of Mafuyu waiting for her back at home had been able to wrench her attention away from the yellow tinted flowers. Otherwise, Kanade isn’t sure how long she would have lingered. Maybe she would have stayed until the sun set and darkness fell. 

Then she returned to find Mafuyu playing her song. Refining it. Doing something Kanade could not.

It was… gratifying, to say the least, to watch Mafuyu understand Kanade’s music instinctually. 

Even outside music, Mafuyu has helped Kanade. Like today.

Kanade has been ignoring that she’s lonely. Has been, for a long time. Perhaps ever since her mom passed away. 

But it was okay, because she had her dad! And she needed to do her best to support him, since he was working so hard for the two of them! 

And then, Kanade, with her own two hands, lost everything – everything except her music. 

But Mafuyu said that it wasn’t her fault. That it was her dad being irresponsible.

It’s a parent’s duty to protect their child.

Could Kanade believe that? The guilt still rests heavily on her heart. 

Could she begin to believe? Maybe. Maybe she could try. 

But she’ll need to save her tears for later. Kanade has cried enough today. 

[K]: I have a new demo I’d like everyone to hear

[Amia]: Oooh, a new demo already? Just as expected from you, K!

[K]: Let's meet in the SEKAI to listen

[Enanan]: Okay, I'll be there in 5 min

“Mafuyu, let’s go to the SEKAI,” Kanade calls softly.

“Okay,” Mafuyu agrees.

They do their customary ritual of linking hands, and they’re both whisked away. 

–

“Enanan, you’re the last one here!” Mizuki exclaims.

“I said I needed 5 minutes!” Ena says indignantly.

“Oh? But you’re still last~” Mizuki teases. 

“I had to make sure that Akito didn’t eat the last of the cheesecake!” Ena huffs.

“Maybe you should’ve let Li’l Bro have it, you said you were on a diet after all~” Mizuki fires back. 

Kanade intervenes, “Let’s listen to the demo. I want to know what everyone thinks.”

Ena opens her mouth, seems to think better of it, and then nods in agreement. 

Satisfied, Kanade presses play. 

Her and Mafuyu’s song echoes solemnly around the SEKAI. Kanade can hear her wish triumphantly bounce around the emptiness. 

Mafuyu really did a great job.

“This doesn't sound like your usual music style, Kanade,” Ena says thoughtfully.

Kanade smiles, “That's because Mafuyu made most of it.”

“I only mixed it,” Mafuyu disagrees. 

“You rearranged my notes into a proper song,” Kanade points out. 

“So this is Mafuyu's first song since OWN then?” Mizuki asks. 

Kanade answers, “I suppose you could say that.”

Mafuyu doesn’t contradict her. 

“I like it,” Mizuki proclaims, “Who knew Mafuyu could make a song like this~” 

“It’s… okay,” Ena begrudgingly agrees, a scowl on her face.

“C’mon Enanan, be a bit more honest~” Mizuki pokes Ena, “You were smiling the entire time!”  

“Hmph,” Ena turns her head away from Mizuki.

“If everyone agrees, I’d like to move forward with this song,” Kanade proposes. 

“Let’s do it!” Mizuki readily agrees.

“...Yeah,” Ena acquiesces.

“If Kanade thinks it’s a good idea, then I agree,” Mafuyu answers.

There’s a slight smile on Mafuyu’s face.

“Let’s get to work,” Kanade declares.

Kanade can’t help but smile brightly at the others too.

And perhaps Kanade is still burdened by her guilt, perhaps there's still an aching loneliness lurking within her, and perhaps it’ll never fully go away.  

But here, with everyone, it’s warm. Niigo fills her heart with gratitude. There are people here with the same vision as hers. People who are willing to aid her own selfish goals. So Kanade can forget, at least a little, about her pain. 

Focusing on Mafuyu’s expression, she thinks that if Mafuyu is smiling now, then Kanade can also hope for a better tomorrow.

Chapter Text

Mafuyu is the lyricist for Niigo. 

For years, Mafuyu has spilled ink and poured words for Niigo. To give meaning to Kanade’s songs. 

But ever since Niigo’s visit to the doll exhibit, Mafuyu will admit that she now writes lyrics a little bit for herself too. 

Mafuyu can wield her words to say something and not have to explain herself. She didn’t have to look at herself, think about herself, and was just simply allowed to be.

Perhaps some people would say that's beautiful. 

Mafuyu doesn't think so.

What is so beautiful about being unable to know herself? 

It's only ever a tragedy.

Others may call her talented for doing so well. 

Jealousy, envy, admiration – she needed none of these. 

It doesn't give color to her world. It doesn't make her happy. If anything, it weighs and weighs and weighs – 

This song is different though.

It's hers, but it's also not OWN's. 

While OWN's music was hungry, grasping, screaming out her messy heart – this song… is almost a declaration. A form of protest. A cry for help.

So the words flow from Mafuyu's pen onto the paper.

Roles. 

Mafuyu is a good girl. She helps everyone. She listens to her mom. She tries to make everyone happy. 

She probably did it because she had wanted to see people’s smiles. If everyone was smiling, then she must be doing something right. It must be good. 

Lost innocence, a discarded backpack.

Her mom, who told her all these sweet lies. That being a doctor was good, that all Mafuyu needed to do was to listen, that everything was the best for her. 

But Mafuyu can’t bring herself to hate her mom. Her mom taking care of her when she was sick wasn't a lie. Mafuyu had felt warm. Otherwise, she would have never wanted to be a nurse. 

When did things become different?

When did I start worrying about others?

It’s automatic nowadays. Mafuyu readily agrees to whatever people ask of her. If she didn’t, then what would she do? She could theoretically do what she wanted – if she knew what she wanted.

So Mafuyu can’t refuse, not yet. 

I want this to end.

Mafuyu has been living her life wrong. But if she were granted the freedom to do as she wanted, Mafuyu would be lost. 

The only way forward is finding herself. Finding the self that Mafuyu had discarded. 

It’s all too cruel.

Looking for herself is painful. It’s unfair. Everyone else knows who they were, and what they wanted. Everyone, except for Mafuyu. 

At this point, Mafuyu doesn’t care anymore. It doesn’t matter what she has to do. She’ll do anything, everything if it’s for the sake of ending this charade. 

After all, Mafuyu isn’t sure how much longer she can wear her mask. 

But Niigo is there for her. In the end, they’re all trying to help Mafuyu find herself. Ena repeatedly tells her that she can refuse things if Mafuyu doesn’t like it, that she doesn’t have to accept it. Mizuki distracted her from the loss of her laptop and told her that she can run away if things are too painful. Kanade has been by Mafuyu’s side, stayed there, and refused to let Mafuyu disappear. Kanade took on another curse, just for Mafuyu, even though she was already being crushed by one. 

All of it has led to this very moment, where Mafuyu is taking shelter at Kanade’s house, writing the lyrics to a song that she had no small part in creating. 

“I’d like you to review these lyrics,” Mafuyu requests.

Kanade takes the sheets of paper from Mafuyu and scans the pages. 

“This…” Kanade starts. 

Kanade’s face is flickering through a variety of expressions, but it settles on one. One that Mafuyu doesn’t understand. 

“...I think it’s very you,” Kanade finally says. 

Over the course of the past several days, Mafuyu has seen Kanade with that expression towards her dozens of times.

“Kanade,” Mafuyu states.

“Hm?” Kanade looks questioningly at her.

“Have you been okay?” Mafuyu asks.

“...Is there something wrong?” Kanade looks at her with wide eyes.

Mafuyu shakes her head, “There’s nothing wrong… I’ve noticed you looking at me strangely lately.” 

“Ah, I’m sorry, I can stop,” Kanade pauses before hesitantly continuing, “...Does it bother you?”

“No, it doesn’t bother me,” Mafuyu closes her eyes, opening them again after several moments, “It makes me feel…warm.” 

Kanade’s mouth curves into a smile, “I’m glad.” 

There’s that same look from Kanade. 

Filled with an unexpected urge, Mafuyu reaches out for Kanade's hand and tugs on it gently. Almost immediately, Kanade grasps her hand and squeezes. 

“Let’s see if Ena and Mizuki are still awake. I want to show them your lyrics,” Kanade says softly. 

After Kanade types a few messages with her singular free hand, Mafuyu hears several Nightcord pings a few minutes later. 

“It looks like they’re still awake,” Kanade observes.

She turns to Mafuyu and smiles, “Are you ready?”

Feeling her chest flutter, Mafuyu nods.

–

This time, there’s a much bigger audience. 

“Fufufu, when I heard the demo earlier, I couldn’t help but call everyone over this time,” Luka comments.

All the Vocaloids are there, minus Meiko and Kaito. 

Len steps forward meekly until he’s right in front of Mafuyu.  

“U-um, is Mafuyu happy at Kanade’s house?” Len asks tentatively.

Am I happy?

Len is shyly pressing his fingers together.  

“It’s… better,” Mafuyu answers. 

Kanade's house felt much easier to breathe in. Mafuyu doesn’t have to worry about what her mom may think of her activities. In contrast, her own home made Mafuyu feel like there were weights constantly wrapped around her limbs and chest, and it was always so very cold.

“... I’m glad,” Miku says. 

The heterochromatic Vocaloid has a small smile on her face. 

“I’m glad that Mafuyu is with me, too,” Kanade adds.

A feeling of warmth rises in Mafuyu’s chest. Going to Kanade’s house was the right choice, in the end.

“So, what did you come here for?” Rin asks, tilting her head. 

Before either she or Kanade gets to answer Rin’s question – 

“Yaho~ We’re here to see Mafuyu’s lyrics!” Mizuki says, dragging Ena along with her. 

“Geez, slow down. The lyrics aren’t going anywhere!” Ena complains. 

The four of them gather around the sheets of paper that Mafuyu brought, with the Vocaloids curiously peeking over their shoulders.  

“Wowww, Mafuyu wrote these? They’re pretty good!” Mizuki compliments.

Ena is mostly stone faced, “...They seem pretty intense.” 

“I think these lyrics are Mafuyu’s best work so far,” Kanade quietly comments.

“Y-yeah, they are…” Ena responds, a bit sullen.  

“How did you come up with these lyrics, Mafuyu?” Mizuki asks.

Mafuyu has to pause to think about it a little.

“I just wrote whatever came to mind,” Mafuyu replies honestly. 

“Sheesh. You really are something…” Ena grumbles. 

“Fufufu, even if Mafuyu only wrote about what came to mind, this is still a form of her expression, is it not?” Luka notes. 

Is it really? If she wrote the first thing that came to mind, then it is no more different than a stream of consciousness. 

“I don’t know…” Mafuyu says, looking at the pink haired Vocaloid. 

“I think it’s a good step forward,” Kanade smiles at her. 

Mafuyu untenses. If Kanade says so…

“Well, if this is Mafuyu’s song, do you have a name for it?” Ena questions. 

Mafuyu doesn’t, but she thinks about it. The song’s lyrics center around trying to find oneself. The wish to break free from other people’s expectations. The perversion of an innocent desire for other people’s happiness into something that strangles them, drowns them. The plea for this entire pointless and messy charade to end.

If that’s the case, then there could only be one name for this song – 

“Theater.” 

Chapter Text

Another day of school passes uneventfully, and Mafuyu is stuck at a crossroads. 

She has cram school today.

Mafuyu isn’t sure if she wants to go, but it’s the first time since she ran away started staying at Kanade’s that Mafuyu has considered the possibility of going. 

She only attended cram school because her mom said that it was necessary in order for her to become a doctor. But if Mafuyu wants to become a nurse, and not a doctor, then… 

What should I do?  

There are advantages and disadvantages of going to cram school. 

She would still be following what her mom wanted her to do. She would have to spend more time and effort on her studies. She would bear the brunt of higher and more expectations. 

On the other hand, Mafuyu would learn more than she did from only attending Miyamasuzaka Girls Academy.

Is this what I want?

Mafuyu wants to find herself, to make music with Niigo, and to become a nurse.

Becoming a nurse would require her to go to a nursing university and pass a licensing exam. While it’s a less strenuous path than becoming a doctor, it is not easy.

Cram school would increase her knowledge, which could then be used to better help people.

Is that worth it? 

Her memory of the little girl flashes before her mind. If not for cram school, she wouldn’t have been able to help her so effectively. 

To see more smiling faces like those, would Mafuyu endure cram school?

But isn’t trying to make other people smile the reason why she lost sight of herself? 

What is the difference between wanting her mom to smile and wanting the little girl to smile? 

Thinking about her mom, Mafuyu’s chest feels cold. But thinking about the little girl makes her chest feel warm.

It doesn’t make any sense. None of it makes sense. 

Wasn’t she still doing something for someone else?

Mafuyu doesn’t understand, but she still needs to make a decision. 

Was there a right decision to make? 

In the end, Mafuyu supposes that it wouldn't hurt to go to cram school today. 

She'll need to let Kanade know. 

Stopping by Kanade’s house, Mafuyu opens the door to find Kanade sitting at the dining table.

Kanade looks up as Mafuyu enters the house and says in a soft voice, “Welcome home.”

“I’m h-” Mafuyu stops to correct herself, “...I wanted to let you know I’ll be going to cram school today. I won’t be back until later.”

Kanade stares at her for several moments and then smiles, “If that’s what Mafuyu decided, then I’ll support you.” 

“I’ll come back as soon as I can,” Mafuyu replies.

Kanade’s expression changes into the one that always gives Mafuyu warm feelings.

“I’ll be waiting for you.” 

–

Cram school is more rigorous than Miyamasuzaka.

Amidst the sounds of pencils scratching on paper, Mafuyu knows everyone else is striving for something. Chasing after a dream or goal. They had to be – otherwise why subject themselves to such an oppressive atmosphere? 

The teacher drones on. 

This place still gives rise to an uncomfortable feeling within Mafuyu. 

It’s tolerable though, if she reminds herself that Kanade is waiting for her. That she will eventually return to Kanade and they will cook together, make music together, and simply exist together.  

–

“Asahina,” her teacher stops her from leaving.

“Yes, teacher?” Mafuyu dutifully replies. 

“Your mother has contacted us several times this week about your progress,” the teacher states.

Mafuyu tenses, “A-ah, is my work lacking? If so, I will put in more eff–”

“That’s not it,” the teacher frowns, “Have you been overworked? I understand you are studying to become a doctor.”

But that’s not… 

“Actually um… about that,” Mafuyu speaks up, “I’ve been thinking… about becoming a nurse instead.” 

The teacher is visibly taken aback and taps his fingers on the desk before responding, “Hm. I heard that originally you enrolled to prepare for medical school. Are you sure about this?” 

Mafuyu wants to be a nurse, but… it would be going against everyone’s expectations of her. 

But Ena’s irritated face comes to mind – You can just say that you don’t like it!  

“I’m… sure,” Mafuyu answers, “I think being a doctor is a wonderful profession, but I think I would like to be a nurse instead.”

“Hmm. Someone as bright as you would definitely make a good doctor,” the teacher sighs.

“But –”

“However, if being a nurse is what you want, then that’s your decision,” the teacher says, making eye contact with Mafuyu.

“T-thank you,” Mafuyu says. 

“Now run along, if you want to be a nurse you still have to work hard!” the teacher chuckles. 

Mafuyu nods respectfully and leaves the classroom, heart racing. 

She said what she wanted to someone. And they didn’t stop her.

Her teacher was disappointed, but relented in the end. To her.

It feels easier to breathe. 

–

After Kanade greets her with a ‘welcome home’, Mafuyu thinks that her day to day life doesn’t feel as constricting. 

Even though she is doing all the same things as before, between maintaining her grades, fulfilling her club responsibilities, attending cram school, and studying – it doesn’t weigh her down as much. 

Mizuki must’ve been right. That Mafuyu was exhausted from enduring every day in the presence of her mom. That she needed to find a place where she could rest.

Kanade’s place is restful.

“I’m home,” Mafuyu says.

“How was cram school?” Kanade asks quietly. 

“I…fought back today,” Mafuyu informs Kanade.

Kanade smiles, “I’m glad.” 

Kanade doesn’t ask her any further questions, which Mafuyu is grateful for. 

It’s easy to be with Kanade. Mafuyu doesn’t have to explain herself or watch how she behaves around Kanade.  

But Mafuyu thinks that she might talk to Kaito later about it though. He might have more advice, and she didn’t want to burden Kanade further.  

And knowing Kanade, she probably hasn’t eaten much today. 

“Let’s make dinner together,” Mafuyu prompts, a warm feeling rising in her.  

As they continue working on Mafuyu’s latest song together, Kanade hopes that Mafuyu feels welcome in her home. 

Kanade isn’t the best at taking care of people, but she has tried her best to support Mafuyu. 

Mafuyu does seem like she is more at ease these days, even after running away from her mother.

Kanade has kept a watchful eye on Mafuyu, and she thinks that Mafuyu has been slowly picking up the lost pieces of herself. 

Kanade thinks it would be great if Mafuyu could stay with her forever. 

Maybe Kanade had gotten too used to her dad being in the hospital, that she had forgotten what it was like to actually live with someone. How warm it was to fall asleep and wake up under the same roof as someone. How nice it was to tell someone ‘welcome home’. How even though she nor Mafuyu were particularly talkative, it was still reassuring to have the other’s presence nearby. 

Mafuyu makes her house feel like a home. 

"I want to go to the SEKAI," Mafuyu states.

"Ah, I still need to record my singing part. You can take my phone and go ahead," Kanade gestures to her desk. 

"Okay, I'll be back soon."

"Oh, there's no password on my phone–”

Something clatters onto the floor behind her. Alarmed, Kanade turns around to see Mafuyu shaking and breathing heavily.

"Mafuyu! What's wrong–"

Her phone screen shines back at her. 

[User#3289]: I know Mafuyu is with you. It’s time for her to come home.

Chapter Text

Mafuyu can’t breathe. 

She can feel herself taking in lungful after lungful of air, but it’s not enough. Why is it so hard?

.

.

.

"–fuyu!"

It's like she's underwater. Everything feels far away. So very far away. 

Muted. Gray.

.

.

.

"Maf–"

Mafuyu thinks that she sees a flash of white.

.

.

.

Her body feels cold. 

.

.

.

No, it feels numb.

Mafuyu can't feel anything.

.

.

.

"–ppened?!"

Hazy colors shift in and out of her vision.

It's mostly gray, white, and blue.

.

.

There's some pink and brown too. 

.

.

"What do we–"

It's peaceful here. It's silent.

.

.

Ah… I don't want to go back.

It would be nice to drift away like this.

.

.

"Please–"

.

.

She wouldn’t have to face any hardship. 

.

.

She wouldn't feel any more pain.

.

.

A song enters her world. 

.

It sounds familiar.

.

It's something she heard long ago.

.

She wants to hear more.

.

The world comes into focus.

.

Mafuyu feels a wetness dripping onto her face.

She sees white and blue – Kanade, crouched over her, crying.

Miku is singing Kanade's song. 

Her chest aches. Her throat is dry. 

"... Kanade?" Mafuyu rasps.

Mafuyu pushes herself up into a sitting position, and Kanade immediately buries her face into Mafuyu’s shoulder.

She instinctively runs her fingers through Kanade's hair. 

"Don't worry us like that again!" Ena berates.

Mizuki, Ena, and several of the Vocaloids are crowded around her.

I'm in the SEKAI.  

She's made everyone worry about her again.

"We were really worried about you. All we got was a message from Kanade saying 'SEKAI now' and then we found you here, unresponsive," Mizuki explains.

Kanade is trembling, but lifts her head, “Mafuyu’s mom contacted me again.”

“How dare she–”

“She found Mafuyu?!”

Mafuyu voices unsteadily, “She… most likely guessed I was with Kanade. Mom kept mentioning her in our argument.” 

“...And she already had access to Kanade from before,” Mizuki muses. 

“She wants Mafuyu to go back home,” Kanade states quietly.

“Are we seriously going to give in to her??” Ena angrily exclaims. 

“I’m… not sure we have a choice,” Kanade says sadly.

Mizuki sighs, “I’m not sure either… She is Mafuyu’s mother after all.”

“I hate this! So just because she’s Mafuyu’s mother she can just decide something like this??” Ena says frustratedly.  

“You can still fight back,” a distinctive male voice says.  

Kaito strolls into their group, looking down at Mafuyu.

Mafuyu’s heart beats faster. “Fight back… how?” 

“It’s unavoidable that you have to go back to that woman, but you can still negotiate,” Kaito states.

“What do we have to negotiate with…?” Mizuki asks.

“We know that person doesn’t like to look bad,” Ena spits out.

Kaito nods approvingly, “Her actions are still limited.”

“I think… she wouldn’t get the police involved at least,” Mafuyu says. 

“So there’s something we can work with!” Mizuki smiles. 

“Mafuyu and I should go back first to respond then. We'll keep you updated,” Kanade comments. 

Mizuki frowns, “I wish we could be there with you.” 

“Yeah, I want to give that woman a piece of my mind!” Ena says, frustrated. 

“I’ll be there with them,” Kaito states. 

Miku steps forward, “I’ll be there to support Mafuyu too.”

The thought of everyone being there, supporting her, makes the task of confronting her mom less daunting. The pain in Mafuyu’s chest lessens. 

As Mafuyu and Kanade are about to leave, Mizuki cries out, “Wait!”

“I also wanted to give you an update on our campaign!” Mizuki exclaims, “To end this on some good news at least.”  

“Oh right, we got way more money than we expected,” Ena adds. 

“Yeah, it’s enough money that we can definitely get Mafuyu a new synthesizer!” Mizuki says cheerily. 

Mafuyu’s fingers twitch. A new synthesizer.

“That’s great news,” Kanade smiles. 

“So no matter what Mafuyu’s mom says, let’s all go to the shopping mall tomorrow~” Mizuki suggests. 

“Yeah, I don’t think she’ll ask Mafuyu to go back this instant,” Ena says, “...I think.”  

“It would be good for Mafuyu to have a cell phone before she has to return too,” Kanade agrees.

Mafuyu isn’t sure what to say. Everyone is working hard for her. 

All she can do in response is nod and give thanks. 

–

After discussing it over with Kanade, they finally decide on a response for her mom.    

[K]: Mafuyu is still very unwell

[User#3289]: That’s all the more reason why she should be back home. I don’t want to trouble Yoisaki’s family any further. 

Mafuyu’s breath hitches.

[K]: We tried telling her that Yuki wasn’t feeling well, but she insists that means Yuki should be back home

[Enanan]: Sheesh. That woman never changes

[Amia]: You could say it’s no problem that Yuki is over

[K]: We’ll try that 

She numbly watches as Kanade types out Mizuki's suggestion.

[K]: I’m happy for Mafuyu to stay as long as she wants. It’s no trouble

[User#3289]: Oh? I should pay a visit to thank Yoisaki’s family for taking such good care of my daughter.

Her mom, coming here? If her mom found out where Kanade lived and learned that Kanade lived alone then –

Maybe she should apologize and go back immediately. It’s dangerous for Kanade if she stays. 

“Are you going to keep hiding behind others?” Kaito says scathingly. 

“I–” Mafuyu falters.

It’s scary.

“When are you going to stand up for yourself?” Kaito asks.

Kanade steps in, “Mafuyu is still shaken –”  

“How are you going to find yourself like this?” Kaito asks, ignoring Kanade. 

I don’t want to go back.

“But I–” Mafuyu protests. 

“Just because you fought back and it didn’t go the way you wanted – does that mean you should give up?” Kaito glares at Mafuyu. 

It’s warm here, but it’s cold at home. How can I…? 

Miku speaks up, “Kaito… this is too much.” 

“I’m only saying what she needs to hear,” Kaito says contemptuously. 

Mafuyu feels Kanade take her hand and squeeze gently. 

Mafuyu slows her breathing. 

I…I’m not facing this alone. Not anymore.

“I’ll respond to her,” Mafuyu manages to voice. 

I can’t find myself… if I keep running away.

[K]: This is Mafuyu. I’ll come home on Sunday.

[User#3289]: Very well. Make sure you’re back before curfew.

Laying in bed with Mafuyu beside her, Kanade recounts the previous events.

Kanade’s throat still hurts from frantically saying Mafuyu’s name over and over again. She was terrified for Mafuyu. 

Kanade didn’t know what she would do if Mafuyu was also hospitalized. She was the one who had told Mafuyu she could use her phone, she hadn’t thought of how Mafuyu’s mom could message her still, she even could’ve checked her messages beforehand. Any of those would have prevented Mafuyu from experiencing so much pain. 

If Mafuyu was hospitalized, like her dad, then…

But Kanade didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know how to take care of people. So she had, with shaking hands, notified the others and brought Mafuyu to the SEKAI. 

Thankfully, Mafuyu had come back to them in the end. Thankfully, it had all worked out. 

Kanade feels a hand tentatively curl around her own. 

She can’t see Mafuyu’s face in the dark, but Kanade is certain that the other must still be awake.

“...Mafuyu?”

“I’m scared. I… don’t want to go back.” 

Kanade interlaces her fingers with Mafuyu’s. 

“We’ll do everything we can to help you,” Kanade assures. 

Kanade hears a shaky breath.

“I know.” 

The silence stretches. 

Under the guise of darkness, Kanade speaks again, “I’m… sorry.”

“...Why?”

“I could’ve prevented all of this,” Kanade admits.

“You always blame yourself for things that aren’t your fault.”

Kanade protests, “But if I could’ve prevented it then –”

“You heard Kaito. I needed to fight back myself.”

Mafuyu is right.  

While she wanted to protect Mafuyu from any sort of distress, she is glad to see Mafuyu fight back. She’s proud of Mafuyu. 

Kanade squeezes Mafuyu’s hand, “Tomorrow… we’ll finally get you a new phone and synthesizer.”

“Mm.”

“Are you happy about that?” Kanade asks. 

“I…think so.” 

Kanade smiles, “It’s something to look forward to then.”

Not hearing a response, Kanade whispers, “Goodnight, Mafuyu.”

Mafuyu’s hand twitches in her own. 

Almost as quietly –

“Goodnight.”

Chapter Text

Mafuyu opens her eyes to immediately notice two things. 

One, she feels rather well-rested. 

Two, her hand is still entangled with Kanade’s. 

Kanade also appears to be still sound asleep, her chest rising and falling consistently. 

Although the sunlight is peeking through the gap in the curtains, it’s unnecessary to be awake this early. They were due to meet Ena and Mizuki around noon after all. 

Still, Kanade’s face looks very relaxed, a stark contrast to yesterday. An ugly feeling rises in Mafuyu’s chest as she recalls Kanade’s panicked face. 

I need to do better to make sure Kanade doesn’t make that expression again.

The idea of returning home is still looming in the back of her mind, but Mafuyu brushes it aside for now. For now, she focuses on the sound of Kanade’s breathing and how her long hair frames her face. 

Reaching forward ever so carefully, Mafuyu tucks a stray hair behind Kanade’s ear. Mafuyu doesn’t understand why, but it felt like the right thing to do.  

Overcome with a warm peaceful feeling, Mafuyu drifts back to sleep. 

–

Ena gives them both an earful about being late. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be the honor student?” Ena accuses.

“I had to ensure Kanade ate something before walking around all day,” Mafuyu explains.

“...I’m sorry, Ena. It’s my fault. I overslept,” Kanade apologizes.

Ena’s expression softens. “Well… It’s alright, Kanade. You probably needed that sleep.” 

“Are we going to stand around here all day? Or are we actually going shopping?” Mizuki whines. 

Mafuyu feels her heartbeat quicken. Finally, she’ll have a new phone and synthesizer. While she technically had access to a synthesizer and the SEKAI through Kanade, it isn’t the same.

Mafuyu wants her freedom back. 

–

A wall of cell phones and various accessories surround them. 

As long as the cell phone allows for her to keep making music with Niigo, Mafuyu doesn’t really care which one she gets.

The rest of Niigo care, however.  

"How about this one? It comes with a really good camera!" Ena suggests, pointing to a sleek looking phone with over six cameras.

"I don't think Mafuyu will be using her phone to take selfies like you, Ena," Mizuki interjects.

"It's a very good phone for the price!" Ena responds, peeved.

"Yes, yes, I'm sure the photo quality is great, but try to think about what Mafuyu would need instead of you," Mizuki eggs Ena on.

As Ena and Mizuki are embroiled in another argument, Mafuyu meanders aimlessly around the store. 

A pale blue phone stands out in the sea of other more standard phone colors.

It's the exact same shade of blue as her aquarium. 

One of the salesmen rushes over to Mafuyu, "Young Miss, that is one of our most popular models among students. You're in luck too, that right there is a limited edition color!"

"Ah! I've also heard good things about that phone too!" Ena exclaims excitedly.

Mizuki follows up, "Oh, that phone looks nice, Mafuyu! A limited edition too! Sounds lucky~"

Kanade simply stands to the side and comments, "As long as Mafuyu likes it, then it's okay."

Did she like the phone? 

Mafuyu still doesn't know that much about her likes and dislikes, but she can perhaps safely conclude that she likes her aquarium. It was all she had before the SEKAI, and she'd spend countless hours staring into the empty tank.

If this phone reminds her of it, then by pure logic, she… likes the phone?

Mafuyu nods to the salesman, "I think I will get this one since it is good."

"Excellent choice, miss!" The salesman processes Mafuyu's purchase. 

After settling details such as getting a new SIM card and phone plan, Mafuyu now has a new phone in the palm of her hands. 

Her own, and one that her mom doesn’t know about.

I’ll need to be careful to hide this.   

Kanade stares at her new phone for a while before asking curiously, "Why did you choose this phone?"

"The color is the same as my aquarium," Mafuyu answers.

"...Is it possible that this is Mafuyu's favorite color?" Kanade wonders.

A twinge of unknown emotion goes through Mafuyu's chest.

"Favorite?" Mafuyu tilts her head, "...I suppose I could call it my favorite color."

Mafuyu doesn't dislike the thought at least.

I have a favorite color.

Kanade smiles and gives Mafuyu another look, a look that Mafuyu still has yet to understand.

Unsure of what to say in response, Mafuyu reaches for Kanade's hand, and Kanade presents her hand face up, interlacing her fingers with Mafuyu's.

Mafuyu has accepted this almost routine between the two of them. Holding hands with Kanade quells some of the restless feelings in Mafuyu's heart. 

Mafuyu notices Mizuki glance at their intertwined hands before turning to whisper something in Ena's ear. 

"Me and Ena will be going to shop for cute accessories together, so let’s meet again at the family diner~" Mizuki says cheerily.

"I thought you wanted to be there when Mafuyu gets her synthesizer," Kanade says, confused.

"Haha, I did say that didn't I?" Mizuki scratches the back of her neck, "But during this trip I realized that me and Ena wouldn't be much help."

"Yeah, if it was art supplies I could help but…only you and Mafuyu know how to use a synthesizer," Ena mentions, not quite looking at the two of them.

Kanade says thoughtfully, "...That's true."

"C'mon Enanan, let's get going!" Mizuki exclaims, grabbing Ena's arm.

"Hey! Don't pull so hard!" Ena complains, but lets herself be taken away by Mizuki.

A few moments of silence fall upon them as they both watch Mizuki and Ena leave.

Mafuyu points with her free hand, “The music store is this way.”

Without waiting for confirmation, Mafuyu begins to pull Kanade in the direction she indicated.

“A-ah. Okay,” Kanade responds, flustered. 

The moment Mafuyu enters the music store, a feeling overcomes Mafuyu. Her heart is beating fast, but it’s not painful. 

She makes her way to the section with all the synthesizers and gingerly touches the instrument. 

“Mizuki and Ena said that we have enough money to buy almost any synthesizer you want, but that we should save some just in case,” Kanade 

“I'll make sure to find something cost efficient." Mafuyu states.

Mafuyu browses the synthesizers and notices a model that was similar to her old one. Her stomach feels odd and fluttery as she draws closer to the synthesizer. 

“..Mafuyu? You’ve been staring at that for a while,” Kanade prompts, “...Did you want this model?” 

“I don’t know… It is similar to my old one,” Mafuyu comments. 

Kanade reaches down to inspect the various functions and her fingers tap at the keys.

“If this model is something that you are familiar with and you like it… then this one may be the best,” Kanade suggests.

“There are other models with more functions that could help everyone more,” Mafuyu  points out. 

“It’s your decision,” Kanade simply replies.

Sometimes, Mafuyu does not understand Kanade. 

Kanade always makes space for Mafuyu. Why didn’t Kanade ever talk about what would be the logical right decision? The one that would be the most useful? 

She knows her mother would have told her to buy only the best quality or the one with the most prestige. But between her new smartphone and this synthesizer, it seemed that none of it mattered to Kanade. All that mattered is…

Me. My feelings.

There’s so much warmth in Mafuyu’s chest. 

“Mafuyu? Are you okay?” Kanade asks worriedly, “You’re–” 

Surprised, Mafuyu reaches up to touch the sudden dampness on her cheek. 

“I-I don’t know,” Mafuyu replies unsteadily, “I don’t feel sad…”

Through blurred vision, Mafuyu sees an emotion on Kanade’s face before Kanade pulls her into a hug.  

“I’m glad,” Kanade whispers into Mafuyu’s shoulder. 

“I don’t understand,” Mafuyu says softly. 

Kanade slowly pulls back and is gazing at her with – something .  

“Let’s buy that synthesizer,” Kanade gently urges with a smile.  

All Mafuyu can do is nod and follow Kanade to the register. She doesn’t know when or how their hands became entwined again.

But one thing Mafuyu knows for sure is that this time, no matter what, she will not let her synthesizer be taken away from her again.

–

“Yaho~ How was shopping?” Mizuki waves them over.

Ena is busy angling her phone for what Mafuyu assumes to be a photo.

“It was…” Mafuyu trails off. 

How could she describe it? She’s never felt so many odd sensations before.

“It was good,” Kanade supplies for her.

“What kind of synthesizer did Mafuyu end up getting?” Ena asks, looking up from her crepe.

“I got a synthesizer similar to my old one,” Mafuyu responds.  

“You didn’t get an upgrade of any kind?” Ena says, confused, “There was enough money if you had wanted to!” 

Mafuyu shifts in her seat. “Kanade said it wouldn’t be bad to stick with what I am used to.”

“Oh, so it was Kanade’s idea~” Mizuki grins, leaning forward.

“A-anyway, what do you want, Mafuyu?” Kanade asks. 

“...I’ll have whatever you’re having,” Mafuyu replies. 

“I’ll take another order of large fries too!” Mizuki exclaims. 

Ena shoots Mizuki with what appears to be a peeved look. “Geez. Where does it all go even?”

“Is Enanan jealous?” Mizuki teases. 

“I am not!” Ena says indignantly, “I was just wondering what kind of freak of nature you were to eat so much!”

“It’s okay to be honest with your feelings Enanan~ Just admit that you wish you could eat as much as I can.” 

Perhaps it’s because Mafuyu has a new synthesizer, perhaps it’s the familiarity Niigo gives her, but Mafuyu's chest feels lighter and warmer than it has in days – if not years. It bubbles up from within her to–

"Heh," Mafuyu softly chuckles.

Both Ena and Mizuki whip their heads around to stare at Mafuyu. Kanade only smiles gently at her.

"D-did you just laugh?!" Ena questions, disbelieving.

Mafuyu pauses. She supposes she did let out a noise that could be interpreted as such.

"Maybe," Mafuyu replies, voice tinged with a hint of wonder. 

Am I happy? Is this… happiness?

Mizuki has a wolfish grin on her face, "Seeee Ena, Mafuyu agrees with me!"

"She does not!" Ena retorts, hand on her hips. 

Mafuyu feels a hand hold her own. Without needing to check, she knows it’s Kanade’s. Mafuyu turns to look anyway. 

With Ena and Mizuki bickering in the background, Kanade smiles at her, eyes shining with an incomprehensible emotion, "I'm glad Mafuyu is here with us right now."

Feeling Kanade's warmth spread from her hand to her whole body, Mafuyu quietly replies, "I am too."

Even though the threat of returning home looms over her, what Mafuyu has with Niigo isn’t something that can be so easily taken from her. 

Chapter Text

“It’s your last night here…" Kanade whispers.

The sheets rustle. 

"It would be nice if you could stay," Kanade continues wistfully.

"...I don't want to go back either."

There's a sigh.

"But I knew I would have to, eventually."

Kanade shifts her head to peer in Mafuyu's direction.

"Do you feel ready?" Kanade asks.

"I don't know but… the thought isn't as bad."

“No matter what happens, we’ll support you,” Kanade emphasizes. 

I won’t let her Mom undo all the progress Mafuyu has made.

Kanade hears the bed creak, feels a weight drop on her shoulder, hair tickling her neck. 

She carefully, ever so gently, wraps an arm around Mafuyu.

Mafuyu is trembling. 

And so Kanade rubs soothing circles on Mafuyu’s back until she feels the shaking stop.

“Goodnight, Mafuyu,” Kanade murmurs, the words both warm and bittersweet.

Kanade feels Mafuyu breathe out.

“Goodnight, Kanade.” 

Despite the incoming upheaval, Kanade feels warm. Feels the night tug on her eyelids. She drifts asleep, with Mafuyu in her arms. 

Mafuyu blinks her eyes open to tears trailing down her cheek. The sun is streaming through the windows. 

Mafuyu remembers bits and pieces of her dream – something about a black bunny and a white bunny finding each other. 

It's very similar to my book…

Her memories, both dream and childhood are hazy. Mafuyu only vaguely recalls the black bunny running away to stay with the white bunny, but she still doesn’t recall how it ended.

Mafuyu gets the sense that the story is important for her. It must be, otherwise why is she crying? Mafuyu turns to speak to Kanade.

Kanade, who is missing from their shared bed. Kanade, who had always been there soundly asleep whenever Mafuyu woke up. 

Whipping her head around, Mafuyu scrambles to look for Kanade. She has to– needs to know where Kanade is. 

She rushes down the hallway to find – 

To find Kanade wearing an apron, cooking something over the stove top. 

“Mafuyu? Is everything okay?” Kanade asks worriedly. 

Mafuyu stands there, mouth slightly agape, panting for breath. Mafuyu can hear her own heartbeat pounding against her chest. 

“– I just thought I would make us breakfas–” Kanade explains.

Mafuyu doesn’t feel her body move. But she finds her arms wrapped around Kanade’s waist and drops her head onto Kanade’s back. 

Mafuyu can feel the vibrations as Kanade greets her softly, “Good morning, Mafuyu.”

“...I thought you were gone,” Mafuyu rasps. 

“I’m sorry I worried you,” Kanade leans her head back to rest on Mafuyu’s, “But…I would never leave your side.” 

Kanade’s voice is like milk, like honey. Mafuyu closes her eyes.

“Okay,” Mafuyu whispers back. 

Mafuyu is unsure how much time has passed, but eventually Kanade gently prompts her, “Ah, Mafuyu, I need to grab a plate.” 

Mafuyu untangles herself from Kanade and thinks she wishes that the moment could have lasted longer. 

“Okay, breakfast should be finished,” Kanade comments, handing Mafuyu a plate with rice and rolled egg. 

She examines the food in front of her, it seems that Kanade has greatly improved her technique since the first time. They look similar to how Mafuyu would normally make them, with relatively smooth and uniform layers. 

Mafuyu takes a bite of the rolled egg. The texture is fluffy, but it tastes–

It tastes?

“... It’s… sweet,” Mafuyu says slowly, as if the words don’t quite fit right. As if she doesn’t trust them. As if she is a child, learning her first words.  

Across the table, Kanade’s eyes widen at her comment. But Kanade then smiles at her and gazes at her like – like. 

Oh.

…

It’s warm.

“So Mafuyu likes rolled egg?” Kanade observes. 

Somehow it feels right. The faint sweetness still lingers on her tongue.

Perhaps Mafuyu doesn’t remember how her book ended, but she can only imagine it would be something like this. 

Watching Mafuyu eat the egg that she prepared gives Kanade pure unadulterated joy. 

Kanade can see Mafuyu pause briefly after every bite, can see Mafuyu's lips curl into a smile each time. 

I did this.

And that thought, familiar like an old scar, isn't filled with guilt.

Kanade tried her best, tried so hard to help and now Mafuyu is smiling because of her. 

Maybe, just maybe Kanade doesn't only need to rely on her music to save people.

Maybe saving people is just a matter of doing smaller things? A process? 

Kanade has watched Mafuyu grow in just a few days. It wasn't because Kanade composed a song for her. It was because…she was there? Because Kanade…did what she thought was best? 

And sometimes it didn't work out. Kanade has made Mafuyu cry. But…even when Mafuyu was upset, they talked things through. All of it has culminated to this point, where Mafuyu seems strong enough to go back to her mom.

Her time with Mafuyu has also taught Kanade things. 

Kanade hadn’t realized how lonely she had become, but perhaps she had known and subconsciously thrown herself into composing music to ignore it. Composing something, anything that would save someone else – but more importantly to save Mafuyu. 

After all, this had been her way of life for two years. Wake. Compose. Eat if she remembered. Compose. Sleep. 

In the past several days though, she would wake up next to Mafuyu. She would eat dinner with Mafuyu. She would compose music together with Mafuyu. She would fall asleep next to Mafuyu.

That would have to come to an end. 

Kanade will miss it. Her heart aches when she imagines Mafuyu leaving her home – leaving her alone, and going back to her biggest demon.

But perhaps some things wouldn’t have to change. Lately, they would go visit the Vocaloids and Mizuki and Ena in the SEKAI to hang out – not even to talk about music, but to simply eat snacks together and chat. And Kanade thinks that in a way, Mafuyu’s rebellious act has affected all of them in unexpected ways. 

Every member seems to cherish their time together more. 

Kanade's phone chimes.

[User#3289]: If you could, Miss Yoisaki, I would appreciate it if you reminded Mafuyu to be home before curfew. I have prepared her favorite beef stew.

"Ah, Mafuyu, your mother contacted me again," Kanade informs.

Mafuyu says slowly, "...What did Mom want?"

"She told me to remind you to be home before curfew…and that she made beef stew," Kanade says hesitantly.

Mafuyu drops her gaze to the ground. "Tell her… I'll be back by then."

[K]: She says she will

[User#3289]: Thank you, Miss Yoisaki. 

“I need to go to the SEKAI,” Mafuyu stands up. 

“Do you want me to come with you?” Kanade offers.

Mafuyu hesitates, “No… not this time. I have something I need to do myself.” 

When Mafuyu looks at Kanade for silent permission, she nods. 

Without another word, Mafuyu pulls out her phone and is transported away. 

Chapter Text

Mafuyu finds the blue haired Vocaloid leaning against one of the many metal beams in her SEKAI. 

“What is it that you want this time?” Kaito watches Mafuyu with unfriendly eyes.

“I’m going back today… to my mom,” Mafuyu explains.

“And?” Kaito crosses his arms. 

“What should I do?” Mafuyu questions. 

Kaito shrugs, “Fight.”

“What… do you mean by that?”

“Exactly what it sounds like. Fight that person. Fight for yourself,” Kaito says nonchalantly.

“Is there nothing else?” Mafuyu asks, desperation and frustration entering her voice.

Kaito turns his gaze onto Mafuyu, “No.” 

Mafuyu clenches her fist, “But it’s unfair!”

“So what if it’s unfair? Does thinking that help you?” Kaito says scathingly. 

“Why is it that I have to fight to find myself, when everyone else–”

“You’ve seen the outside world and its inhabitants. Do you think that no one else has struggles?” Kaito scoffs, “Don’t be so conceited. In the end, everyone has to fight for themselves.”

“I–” Mafuyu stops. 

Kaito is right. As much as Mafuyu feels a heat burning beneath her skin, he’s right.  

If the time with Kanade has proven anything, Mafuyu couldn’t keep running away, couldn’t keep ignoring the truth, and couldn’t keep doing what felt easiest. 

It doesn’t matter what her mom has done or will do, or even what Mafuyu has gone through. Mafuyu has to fight. Her own self is on the line. And who else but her would be responsible?

“...Thank you,” Mafuyu murmurs. 

Kaito nods at her, pushing off the beam and disappearing into the depths of the SEKAI. 

–

Kanade welcomes her back warmly, giving Mafuyu a brief hug.

Mafuyu leans into it. 

“What do you want to do today?” Kanade asks.

“I think…I want to stay inside,” Mafuyu answers. 

Mafuyu knows Kanade doesn’t like going outside and she also wants to spend as much of her remaining time at Kanade’s house. After all, this is a place where Mafuyu is free. 

Mafuyu can stay up late and make music with Niigo without worrying about her mom checking in on her. She could choose how to balance her schoolwork and music. She doesn't need to put on her good girl persona. 

If she could choose, Mafuyu wants to simply stay here, to cook more nutritious food for Kanade, to play more piano with her, and to have Kanade’s warmth always by her side.  

To willingly go back to a cold, cruel place is irrational.

But for now, Mafuyu sets that aside. Because Kanade is here right now and Mafuyu only wants to think about the here and now. 

“Let’s… play piano,” Mafuyu suggests. 

Kanade smiles at her, “Okay.” 

And Kanade is giving her that look that Mafuyu now understands as care.

The pair situate themselves comfortably by Kanade’s midi controller and Mafuyu rests her hands neatly on the keys. Once Kanade also settles her hands into the proper position, Mafuyu starts. 

Mafuyu’s fingers dance on the keys. 

A bittersweet tune rings from the keyboard. 

It’s Kanade’s song. The one that made her smile. 

Mafuyu still remembers that moment clearly – Kanade’s surprised expression, Mizuki’s shocked outburst, Ena’s confused question. 

It was a huge breakthrough, but Mafuyu herself hadn’t noticed. 

Is there more that I haven’t noticed?

The last few notes of Kanade’s song fade away.   

“Are you warmed up?” Kanade asks.

Mafuyu nods.

“Okay, let’s go,” Kanade says softly. 

As usual, Mafuyu starts off with the melody. 

Darker, heavy notes resound from Mafuyu’s fingers. 

A few gentle notes play, smoothing out Mafuyu’s tortured melody line into something softer, more hopeful.

Kanade sometimes leads, but Kanade mostly likes to follow. Likes to support Mafuyu, both with her music and in her life. 

Like a light in the dark.

If there is one thing that Mafuyu maybe likes about Kanade’s music, it’s that there is always hope. No matter how painful things are, there is still something that Mafuyu can keep reaching for. 

And so, even as Mafuyu’s pain seeps into her playing, Kanade balances it out into something softer, sweeter. 

If Mafuyu could freeze time, she thinks she would stop this very moment. To pull and stretch it out into a small eternity. 

To stay here and play piano with Kanade at her side, to be immersed in music, to not have to think about any painful things.  

A dissonant note slips out from Mafuyu’s hands, jolting her awareness.

Mafuyu can’t afford to think like that anymore. Kanade’s home is restful, but it is only a temporary haven. 

Mafuyu switches the melody, Kanade matching her almost immediately. 

A quiet, tentative song plays.

Mafuyu sings. “Someone once said that everyone has a role to play.”

Kanade’s voice joins her, “That we live by sharing what we lack and complementing one another.” 

“If so, my blank space should be filled by someone else. Can you hear me? That someone…”  

Both of their piano playing pick up in intensity during the gap in lyrics.  

Mafuyu closes her eyes briefly. 

She has found someone. Kanade is at her side, and the rest of Niigo and the Vocaloids are too. 

As Mafuyu continues singing and playing with Kanade, a tight yet exhilarating feeling rises in her chest. 

“Is this the price I pay, God? It’s too cruel, all of it,” Mafuyu’s voice cracks.

It’s cruel, but what could Mafuyu do?

“It doesn’t matter anymore, so please end it quickly.”

Fight. Nothing but fight. To wade through a mud pit, no matter how hard or difficult. 

It’s hers and her journey alone.   

The last several notes fade off the keyboard, a gentle sound dissipating into the room.  

Mafuyu pants for breath. She feels a hand resting on top of her own. 

Kanade speaks up, "I believe in you, Mafuyu."

Wordlessly, Mafuyu rests her head against Kanade’s own. 

“Thank you.”

–

The shadows grow long. 

It’s time.

Mafuyu has gathered up all her things and her synthesizer is safely stowed away in the SEKAI.

Kanade’s place has witnessed much of Mafuyu – from her initial grief and loss to some of the most peaceful moments that Mafuyu has ever experienced. This place is filled with endless warmth and patience for Mafuyu. 

And yet. 

Mafuyu crosses through the threshold of Kanade’s house. She feels shaky, wobbly.  

But Mafuyu has taken a few steps on the path to finding herself. No longer is the road ahead hidden from her view.

It may twist and turn, it may be painful, but it exists. 

And that’s enough for Mafuyu.

She looks back. 

“Are you sure about this?” Kanade asks. 

“I still don’t want to make my mom worry too much," Mafuyu explains.

To say her mom is all bad is wrong, just as it was wrong of her to think her mom was all good. It’s still because of her mom that Mafuyu wants to become a nurse. 

But Mafuyu will protect what is important to her from her mom. 

She knows better now. Mafuyu knows how warm the people around her are. She knows how it feels to live with someone that truly cares about her well-being. 

Her phone vibrates.

[Amia]: It’s almost your curfew right? Good luck with your mother!

[Enanan]: Yeah… be careful, okay?

[Enanan]: If that woman gives you any trouble, I’ll show up at your house to tell her off! 

[Yuki]: Thank you

She doesn’t know what the future holds. She doesn’t know how her mom will react upon her return.

But the sunlight reflects off of Kanade’s hair. Kanade is standing in front of her, gazing at her with a bittersweet expression, like Mafuyu means the world to her.  

It warms Mafuyu's chest, more than she could ever describe. The warmth trickles all the way to Mafuyu’s fingertips and toes. 

“Goodbye,” Mafuyu says softly. 

A tiny smile graces Kanade’s face, “I’ll see you at 25:00.” 

Mafuyu nods, and then pivots her feet to take several steps towards her own house. 

Mafuyu will keep moving forward, no matter how uncertain or fearful, to find herself. Because she will eventually find herself. 

After all, Mafuyu knows what it’s like to walk where the light shines.