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Chapter Text

Leia

Leia gave the coordinates to the hot-shot pilot after she was able to shake off the shock. 

She went back to the main cabin and looked at the Jedi who was absently playing with charms hanging around his neck. 

“What’s your necklace?”

“Oh it’s a Japor Snippet, from Tatooine and...” Luke started. 

“That’s from Naboo right?” Leia interjected, damn it, Leia hated how she interrupted people when she was nervous. Well, people who didn’t annoy her. She had no problem interrupting annoying people or people who thought they were so important. But so far all Luke had done was competently save her life, lose someone he obviously cared about and then take the time to comfort her. So he didn’t deserve it. But she was fraying at the edges and had no idea what to do about it. 

“Yeah. My mom was from there.”

“Hence the name Naberrie” 

“Exactly.”

“My dad is...er..was quite fond of Naboo, next to Alderaan it was his favourite planet to talk about. Only when I was little though, that stopped as I got older. But I was already hooked so read more on my own”

“That’s nice Princess Leia, My Buir always taught me about cool places too.”

“Wait, if you're from Naboo, why do you call your dad ‘buir’?”

Luke huffed a half smile, “It’s really complicated.”

“Fair enough” Leia nodded, “Families are like that.”

As she said the word family it was like someone stabbed her in the gut. She could not fall apart. She had a mission to complete. She had to get R2D2 to the rebellion and help them explode that Death Star for good.

“I’m sorry about your planet. Was much of your family planetside?”

“Yeah. Both of my parents were.”

“I’m sorry, again, I don't know what else to say. I met your father once, he was a good man.”

“How’d you meet him?” Leia asked scrunching her brow

“He was friends with my buir, and we were doing ya know rebellion things.”

“I knew my dad knew the Jedi. It came out in drips and drops, nothing major. I don’t know why talking about Naboo was dangerous, but I get why talking about Jedi is dangerous.”

“The Emperor wants us dead.”

“Yes, and now me too.”

“Well, then we beat them,” Luke said, opening his hand and giving her a serene look. Like he hadn’t just almost died, and she hadn’t just lost her entire world.

“How do you know Obi-Wan Kenobi?” Leia asked

The calm expression on Luke’s face faltered for just a second before returning. Leia could tell something was wrong. It wasn’t even that he was grieving or whatever, she’d seen many people who’d lost loved ones, in official capacity as royalty but also through the rebellion. Something more was wrong with him, the closest she could match was soldiers after particularly scarring battles. But it was deeper.  Kark, none of this made any sense, it wasn’t that she thought he was cruel she didn’t get the vibe to run. However, she was very sure that they were lucky this teenage weapon was being pointed at the other side.

“He’s my Buir, Vader, he...he killed my family. Again.”

“‘I’m sorry Luke”

“I'll stop him. I have to do it. No one will have to lose family to the Empire if I can help it.”

“Well, I agree with that part. We will bring the Empire to its knees” Leia felt a fire ignite in her chest. And she was alive again. Focus on the anger, it would keep her alive. 

“You're angry, it’s so strong.” Luke said, “ But it is still a sun.”

“What do you mean?” Leia asked

“I’m a Jedi, and I'm pretty good at reading people, though sometimes if they have a strong enough will it has to be pretty strong emotions for me to get anything off them. And some people burn brighter than others, no matter what they are feeling.”

“I see. I’m pretty good at reading people too, but not in a Jedi way.” Leia decided to not ask any more questions because he was talking nonsense, and she didn't have the energy for hidden meanings right then. 

His blue eyes met hers; she could almost see a haze around him. And felt warmness in her head and chest. It was nice, but she didn't like the idea he could reach into her, or whatever he was doing. 

He broke eye contact and looked at the table before saying, “It’s useful, but also overwhelming. I can kind of ignore it if I'm really involved in something. But now, I have nothing else to do right now.”

“You will soon, when we get to the rebellion they’ll have something for us to do.”

“I don’t know about that, when I was with Phoenix Squadron we got real good at wasting time,” Luke said, his eyes un-focusing mouth forming a half smile. 

“I don’t plan to waste any time. R2D2 will pass on plans for the Death Star and then we will strike.”

“So that’s what the little guy is carrying, I guess that is worth killing over.”

Leia just nodded, drumming her fingers on the table. Luke seemed oddly nonplussed about the machine that had killed her planet, and taken his dad. Maybe that’s just what Jedi were like, what little she had learned about them, outside of the propaganda that they were a traitorous religious order, was that they had been masters of their emotions. Leia wasn’t sure that this was actually calm, it was more along the lines of how people acted after they had a head injury. 

She excused herself and made her way to the cockpit. The Jedi was unintentionally freaking her out. The annoying but average personality of their pilot would be calming at this point. 

“Hey princess,” He said, turning to face her. 

“Hey... I never got your name.”

“Han Solo”

“I suppose it’s good to meet you.”

“I saved your life!”

“I give that credit to the Jedi just as much as you. But thank you for the ship, and the help”

“That’s right sweetheart.” He said and winked. 

“Don’t call me that.”

“Okay, princess. When I get you where you're going I expect some credits in return.”

“If that’s what you want,” Leia said through gritted teeth. 

“It is”

“We’re going to take the droid to someone who can use his intel.”

“What info is so important you’d risk Darth Vader?”

“He has plans for the Death Star.”

“Yeah, that would do it.” Han agreed, shifting like he was uncomfortable in his seat.

“I can get you the money. I’m a princess after all.” Leia said, saying it felt good, even if she was a princess of space dust now.

“Good,” Han said, he glanced at her and Leia sincerely hoped he was more than what he was pretending. 

“If you want to stay we will have you.”

Han just rolled his eyes, “It’s your funeral.”

Leia got up and left. No use, she might as well go check on the droids. 

~~~~~

Once they got to the rebellion she got the droids off the ship and hopped on a small transport which her Luke and Han road till she spotted Commander Willard. She got off and met him as he wrapped his arms around her. 

“You are safe! I was talking to your father when Alderaan was destroyed. I feared the worst for you as well.”

Leia had to work to keep her grief crushed down inside her.

“We don't have time for our sorrows, Commander. The battle station has surely tracked us here. It's the only explanation for the ease of our escape. You must use the information in this R2 unit to plan the attack. It is our only hope.”

Leia was distracted by another figure who she cared about deeply, Mon Mothma, a friend of her parents. 

“Leia” Mon Mothma said her voice was choked and tension was released from her body as she moved over to Leia. 

“Mon Mothma”

“I’m so sorry, your father, mother, Alderaan.”

“Yeah,” Leia said, her tongue feeling heavy in her mouth, “R2 unit has important information.” 

“Yes, Yes.”

Leia continued to try and push every paralysing emotion down, focusing on the anger and drive to get revenge. 

R2 was plugged in and the information was analysed. All she had left to do was pace. She desperately wished that she was good at reading machine schematics. She could understand the basics but machines had never been at the top of her list of skills. Leia could easily lead a ground assault and she was an amazing shot with a blaster so feeling helpless was not something she felt often. And she had felt it too much in the past few cycles; she was pretty sure it was driving her crazy. 

They were called into the room filled mostly with fighter pilots dressed in their flight suits. She stood to the side of the machine across the room from Han and Chewie sat in who she was surprised to see here. Luke had filed in with the other pilots standing out in his brown robes that had seen better days. 

General Dodonna started to speak, “The battle station is heavily shielded and carries a firepower greater than half the star fleet. Its defences are designed around a direct large-scale assault. A small one-man fighter should be able to penetrate the outer defence.”

Leia felt her muscles tense, that sounded dangerous, and like they were going to lose people. 

One of the pilots spoke up, “Pardon me for asking, sir, but what good are snub fighters going to be against that?” 

“Well, the Empire doesn't consider a small one-man fighter to be any threat, or they'd have a tighter defence. An analysis of the plans provided by Princess Leia demonstrated a weakness in the battle station. The approach will not be easy. You are required to manoeuvre straight down this trench and skim the surface to this point. The target area is only two metres wide. It's a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port. The shaft leads directly to the reactor system. A precise hit will start a chain reaction which should destroy the station Only a precise hit will set up a chain reaction. The shaft is ray-shielded, so you'll have to use proton torpedoes.” Dodonna instructed.  

The room makes a variety of noises, some confused and others determined. But at least there were no sounds that pointed to a lot of desertion about to happen. 

“May The Force be with you,” Dodonna finished. 

Leia drifted over to Mon Mothma not really sure what her place in this was going to be. She hoped she’d be included enough that she would get to know what was going on. She was the heir to her father’s position in the rebellion, and she had already been trained to be a leader. 

As the pilots started to gear up Luke came up to Leia and Mon Mothma. 

“I can help,” Luke stated

“And you are?” Mon Mothma said, raising an eyebrow while annoyance dripped from her voice.

Leia was about to defend him, she didn’t know if Jedi training involved piloting but if he could fly as well as he fought, and was willing to die, then he should get the chance to go be reckless with the rest of them.

“I’m Luke Naberrie, son of Padmé Amidala. Obi-Wan Kenobi raised me. Trained me, and said I was nearly as good a pilot as his Padawan. I’ve also flown with Hera Syndulla.” Luke said smoothly like he was giving his credentials for a job interview. 

“Well then. Being trained by Master Kenobi and Hera Syndulla, impressive. We can use you. Should be easy enough to get you an X-Wing. You might have to convince some of the group leaders though.”

Leia always found the way names opened doors to be useful, and a little funny. She used hers all the time. Titles as well, Princess and Senator both got you in a lot of doors. Even if she wasn’t a full senator yet, she knew many people. Politics were not as fulfilling as hitting someone with a blaster, or a punch. But she was quite good at it, usually. Being able to work with and guide people was the skill her mom and dad had most fostered in her. As a Queen and Senator respectively they were all about it. 

Her parents did recognize the need for self-defence; they had a begrudging understanding that violence was unavoidable. They let her learn to shoot, and she learned other survival skills through many training programs that were expected of powerful families on Alderaan. Once she started helping with the rebellion a few years ago with her Father Mon Mothma had made sure she was taught by all the best. That again was due to her name.

The reality that they were going hit her in the stomach as she walked. How could they be gone? They were going to take her to a party she didn’t want to go to. She looked up from her feet, schooling her face. 

Luke turned back like he was going to say something but before he could Mon Mothma all but yanked him to the side into a closet. 

Leia moved as stealthy as she could towards the door close enough that she could hear but hopefully not be heard.

“Kenobi?” Mon Mothma asked. 

“Dead, Vader killed him.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It was his time, he is one with The Force.”

“You sound like an old-school Jedi” Mon Mothma sighed, “I convinced Organa to get the message to him. I’m not sure how much Leia knows.”

“If you wish to discuss this further I would say save it till I get back from blowing up the Death Star, Leia is right outside the door.”

Mon Mothma poked her head out, “You know there are things people can say that doesn’t have to involve you,”

“You brought up my father.” Leia snarked. 

“I am sorry for what you have lost Princess Leia” Luke said, “As I said I met your father, even briefly, and he was a good man. I know it doesn’t help, but he is one with The Force now. He will never really be gone, most importantly his love won’t. The Force is love”

“That’s a very nice sentiment Luke” Leia said hoping Luke caught the warning in her tone. She didn’t need to hear sickly sweet comments. They were dead, just like her birth parents, and she would never get to hear their voices or be embraced ever again. So Kark The Force.

“I have to go,” Luke said, excusing himself with a nod. 

“What don’t I know?” Leia said to Mon Mothma once Luke was far enough ahead of them. 

“How close Kenobi and your father were. They were both there when you were born, you know. Kenobi was the first person to hold you.”.

“Oh,” Leia said, filing that in the large library of things that pointed to a story of the Clone Wars she would likely never know. 

“Yes.”

“Well...we have a station to explode,” Leia said, pulling herself up to her full height, which granted wasn’t much but she’d have to go with it.

Chapter Text

Luke

Red leader walked over to him, “Heard you want to fly with us.”

“I’m going to fly with you, yes.”

“How do I know you’re even good enough for this mission?”

“I practised flying with the StarRunner and with Phoenix Squadron”

“Oh, well I've heard of the Phoenix Squadron’s missions. Hera Syndulla is said to be an amazing leader.”

“She is, so which X-Wing is mine?”

The pilot let out a sigh but pointed to one fighter and tossed him a flight suit. As he got ready he had time to think, and that was never a good idea. The brief burst of anger he felt holding his sister had dissipated quickly. He was more tired than he was angry. Was that better? But there was still despair and confusion churning inside him. He needed to basically feel nothing, at least until he had time to process the past few hours. He tried his best to key into The Force. To know what to do. But he had to admit it all felt rather fuzzy. 

When his bond with his father was torn a part of Luke was stolen. Luke had even known this was coming. But it didn’t make anything better, if anything it made it worse. His father had kept his promise, he died fighting, to protect him and his sister. That should probably make him feel better, it was good of his dad to not lie to him. As he was leaning on his fighter he was forced to consider that his dad might have just fed him a comforting lie. His Buir’s death might be more accurately described as suicide by Sith Lord instead of dying fighting. From a hundred-metre perspective, his relationship to his parental figure wouldn’t be considered great. His buir had been for lack of a better word karked in the head for all of Luke’s life. And it was much worse when Luke was young, the further back Luke cast his mind, the more time had been taken up by Luke sitting in a room while his dad slept or stared at the wall with a blank expression. It was pretty clear to Luke now that had the StarRunner crew not taken them in there was a high chance Luke would’ve found his dad with a lightsaber stabbed through his head. 

It didn’t matter now though. All he could do now was hold on to the fact his buir was at peace, and that Luke still had the love he had given. You can’t take loved away. 

Kark being alone surrounded by new voices and force signatures was killing his head. All the fear and having been around Leia’s grief made his thoughts extremely disturbing. 

A tech tapped on the ship getting Luke's attention, “The droid, he’s a bit beat up. Are you sure this is the one you want?”

“He may be old but he functions well and I trust him.”

“Well, okay” The tech shrugged. 

They slotted Artoo into his spot and Luke let out a sigh. Then he saw Han looking at him like he wanted to say something. 

“Are you leaving?” Luke asked.

“Yeah”

“You could stay, you could help.”

“I know you are keen on following your dad into death but I'm not.”

“Did you get your money?” Luke asked.

“Yeah,” Han said, crossing his arms and holding Luke's gaze. But under that, Luke could feel the lie. 

Luke wondered why he was lying about getting paid. Had the rebellion stiffed him or had he just not felt the need to push for it?

“Okay. So you're not as greedy as you seem. But are you a coward?” Luke questioned.

“Cowards live kid. You don’t have to do this either. Chewie and I would have you.” Han said and it was strange how much sincerity there was. 

“Some random cult member with no one to cult with?” Luke asked, tilting his head a small shred of humour drifting somewhere inside him. 

“Yeah, whatever kid. Get yourself killed.”

“Okay. Then leave.” Luke said he wondered why he felt hurt by Han leaving. 

Han had shown some degree of bravery on the Death Star. And had brought himself into the den of the rebellion. It would be nice for him to stay, give them just a tiny bit of a better chance. But part of Luke couldn’t really fault him for wanting to live. He wasn’t bound by destiny like Luke or family Like Leia.

Luke looked up, noticing Han was gone. But it did make him smile to see him arguing with Chewbacca. Chewie deserved to live, the Wookies had suffered enough. 

Getting into the fighter Luke connected everything, closing his eyes and breathing trying to keep himself as centred as possible. 

Directions were given through the com set and he left with his team. Luke flew true, as he always did and shot down some TIE fighters. He tried to keep his mind focused on his team and what they needed. Doing as he was told, but the battle was going so badly. Luke screwed up his eyes; he was going to have such a headache later. Why should he focus on these dumb fight patterns that weren’t using his force ability to its full potential?

So many pilots were dying. He was just glad he was sealed away and only felt a tiny bit of the empty overwhelm of death. Ruminating about the way death felt was not a goal he had right now. 

Luke’s team moved into a new formation trading places with a team that had lost enough pilots that everyone decided they need not waste more lives getting a shot they were not going to make. 

Hitting the target shouldn’t be too hard. All he had to do was trust in The Force to help him sense out which way to shoot and he would be okay. Everyone else was trying to use their machines to help them, but this shot was one in a million and computers could only get you so far. 

Before he could make the suggestion to let him try Luke felt Vader. His vision immediately crossed, and his stomach flipped. Kark this was not what he needed right now. The icy blackness of Vader cut into him like knives. The wound where his buir was torn from him felt like it was bleeding all over again. Luke had the overwhelming need to try and blast that karking murder into smithereens. 

The rage, grief, and loss swirled, paralysing him causing his eyes to unfocus. Then he heard his dad’s voice, 

“Luke now is not the time, focus on what you know you can do.”

“He killed you,” Luke said weakly. 

“And if you focus on him right now more will die. Think of everyone who will die at the hands of this station.”

“And I'm not ready.”

“No, you’re not”

Luke brought himself back to the moment

He pressed the comm button, “I’m going to take a shot.”

“I don’t know if we’ll be able to...”

“I’m taking another shot.” Luke cut off, he needed to get this done before Vader’s presence got the better of him. 

The Force flowed into him and he blocked out the darkness of Vader as best he could. But even he couldn’t get all the Imps to stop shooting at him and he was not going to be able to dodge and shoot. He could sense death and feel the mini shock waves of ships exploding and Luke feared he might be alone. 

As he thought he might die before he could do what he was made for he heard a whooping sound come through his comm. And even more shock waves of ships exploding. 

“You’re in the clear kid, you can make the shot.” Han’s excited voice came in a little staticky. 

Luke felt a smile across his face. Nice to know Han Solo at least cared enough to not let him die. And that was a good start. 

Eyes closed with no targeting system, relying only on The Force Luke took the shot. Thankfully his aim was good and the reaction was instant. As Luke turned his ship to escape he was blown forward by the concussive waves of the Death Star exploding. This time Luke could not block out the death. So many lives were just ended by his hand, not to mention all the people in the TIE fighters. His head swam a bit but he kept flying.

When they landed Luke jumped out of the X-Wing unsure exactly what would happen now, he didn’t have time to worry that much as Han rushed over to him giving him a one-armed hug using his free hand to ruffle Luke’s shaggy hair. 

Everyone around was cheering excitedly for once the emotions soaking into Luke, while overwhelming, were positive. It still made him feel just as ill as he was happy. 

“We did it, kid!” Han yelled.

“You came back!” Luke shouted back.

“Yeah, I guess I liked you, and the princess too. And Chewie convinced me.”

On cue, Luke was picked up in a body-crushing hug by a very happy Wookiee. 

“He says he’s glad you aren’t dead.”

Yeah, but a lot of people were dead. A dangerously large chunk of the rebel detachment and everyone on the Death Star. They might have been imps but they were still people. And could theoretically have become better people. Master Ventress had been the equivalent of an inquisitor and had stepped away from the Dark Side, Master Vos had come back as well. Luke had to believe people weren’t born bad or if you did wrong you gave up your personhood. Because if that were true Luke himself would be unable to resist the Dark Side, not after he’d just wiped out that number of people. 

His thought process was again interrupted when Leia hugged him and kissed him on the cheek, then dragged him and Han out of the hanger bay.

“I’m so glad you both came back!”

“Yeah, I decided I didn't want the kid to die.”

“Well whatever the reason, I'm glad you are here.” Leia grinned and hugged Han. 

They were able to get a few minutes to inhale food and drink before they were sent out to go to a new rally point. Even if the Death Star was gone. Palpatine and Vader weren't. The Empire would still be able to send a destroyer after them, and while the planet could withstand a destroyer, the rebels and their equipment could not. 

Luke realised he was flying a pretty great distance alone when he was already flying and felt his stomach curl with the isolation.  His body started to shake after he got himself to cruising through light speed. Ice coursed through his venice and his skin felt clammy and spirited wanted to give up. He had been through so much, but now he was alone. Ahsoka and his dad were dead. He had no idea about the StarRunner crew and Pheonix Squadron was halfway across the karking galaxy. What was he supposed to do now? 

“Stop,” He muttered to himself and tried his best to breathe in the cockpit of his X-wing. The entire galaxy was depending on him to stop Vader and the Emperor, he had to; it was his destiny. All this loss and suffering? It had to mean something, it couldn’t just be carnage and grief. He couldn’t let all the bravery, love and loyalty that had been shown during this war mean nothing. Leia had lost her whole family so had his dear Ezra. He had to turn this pain into something, anything that would leave a foundation where people could build a world with fewer orphans and canon shots. 

Oh, kark Luke had to be here for Leia. He needed to make sure she was taken care of. Not that she couldn’t look after herself in a fight, Leia had held her own with the stolen blaster and was clearly braver than most. She’d held it together to get off the Death Star and then got herself into enough of the right headspace to get the information off Artoo and save everyone. One of the most impressive people in the galaxy probably way more than himself.  But after losing everything she loved? Luke didn’t know what that would do to her. No one would be totally okay. And rather or not she had people to love her and help her was unknown to Luke. Everybody needs someone, from what Luke could tell being alone was very bad for the psyche. The strongest person suffered when alone. 

Luke was glad when he could land his ship. He hoped there would be something for him to do, he did not want to just sit and think any longer. He hopped out in a bay full of ships. Stretching he felt Han coming up behind him and turned to face him and took a bag to the gut. 

“You and your dad’s stuff.” He said.

“Oh...ah thanks.”

“Yeah, hope you got a change of clothes in there, You stink after all that time in that tiny fighter.”

“Oh, yeah I've got another Tunic.”

Han nodded, Luke noticed he had changed his clothes and looked nice. Luke took a moment to actually look the man over. He wasn’t Luke's type, or more so Luke wasn’t sure if he would be his type. It was going to take time to get over Ezra, even if they hadn’t been together very long. Ezra was the first person Luke had ever had feelings for at all. Though he was also one of the first two people Luke had spent any substantial amount of time around who was even close to his age. But he definitely hadn’t had romantic feelings for Sabine, he thought she was pretty cool and very talented, but he didn’t want to spend the night star-gazing with her. 

Luke was funnelled with the other fighters into a large room with showers. Luke awkwardly stood at the back of the room gripping his bag to his chest. The number of people was stressful enough, and this was an all-new situation. He didn’t know the rules! What did you do in a group bathing place? What did you do with a kriff ton of naked men? They were making jokes and comments that Luke only sort of got. He understood innuendo; he'd lived with spacers and rebels. Though the spacers in question tried to catch themselves as he was the baby of the crew. Which was probably part of why these jokes and stories and whatnot went way over his head. 

The mood wasn't all terrible, but the wide range of emotions swirling in that room made him feel faint. As he felt a panic rising in his chest he staggered to the outside of the room breathing heavily. 

A few minutes passed as Luke debated if he could wait out the rest of the pilots and soldiers, and it seemed to be other people as it was too many to just be the surviving fighters. Before he forced himself back in the showers he was rescued by his sister.

“I was informed you were sitting here looking like you were a lost little kid.” She said, looking at him on the floor and tilting her head. “You can face down stormtroopers and almost die in an X-wing but you can’t shower?”

Luke huffed, “The stormtroopers weren’t naked.”

Leia rolled her eyes but her lips formed a half smile. It was definitely a non-threatening eye roll as she held out her hand, “Come on. You can use my shower, I only share with two other people we are taking turns. Being the daughter of founding members of the rebellion has to come with some perks.”

“Thank you” Luke took her hand and she led through a labyrinth of halls till they got to a row of small rooms each with three beds. 

“Not to mention I have to get you some nice clothes. I’m going to say you don’t have a dress uniform in your bag?”

“A tunic I wear to work on a moisture farm” Luke grinned. Her exasperated expression filled him with fondness

“Wonderful, when you get done showering. Stay for a minute till I tell you to come out. I can find some pants and a jacket from some of the others.”

Doing as he was told Luke got himself cleaned off, fished his toothbrush from his bag glad his mouth no longer tasted stale. He ran his fingers through his hair to brush it out. Luke could not actually remember when he had lost his hairbrush must have been when they were on Tatooine. At least between his dad’s bag and his they had both soap, toothpaste and shampoo. There had been times they had to go without. Before the Runner had taken them on. Once they met with the Runner they usually had the basics, sharing a lot sure, but never starving. There were also bountiful times like when he got his droid, and bad times when they had to just eat rations. Or eat mostly junk food if Bialla was in charge of food. 

A wave of longing filled him, he missed the Runner crew more than he even knew how to put words to. He loved them, the crew they had no need for him and his dad. It was care and love that had no agenda. Most likely they just made life more complicated. He and his dad had been weird enough and messed up enough that they had to have been work to keep around. No one could have wanted to put up with their shit, but the Runner crew had cared about them anyway.  The crew had even put themselves in the crosshairs of the blaster to make sure he stayed. They’d been within striking distance of a destroyer to save them and been brave enough to join the rebellion. Tears slid down his face and he let out a shaky breath reaching for balance in the force. All he found was sharp edges and nausea. 

A knock on the door startled him, “Luke, I got some nice clothes for you.”

The bright yellow jacket made him think of Alema and he let out a small huff. He dressed and then stuck his head out the door and saw Leia there. She looked him up and down.

“You look good enough now.”

“Good enough for what?”

“You and Han, you guys are both going to get a medal.”

“For what?”

“For what?” Leia laughed.

“I did my job, what I have to do. I don’t deserve a medal for that. Maybe some sweets and to watch a holovid.”

“Luke, you and Han destroyed the Death Star. No one else could do it but you did.” She said eyebrows creased in confusion

“I have to, Leia. I’m a Jedi. I have to protect people as best I can. And it’s my destiny to help Take down The Empire. Whatever is asked of me to do I will do it. The Force wills it,” he felt his heart beat fast in his chest. The feeling of death that had permeated around him, sensing Vader. Hearing his dad. Then being around so many people. He focused hard on raising his shield. But it was like trying to catch smoke. 

“That’s all well and good Luke. If you believe that, then I respect your right to believe whatever you want. But you’re going to stand there and get a medal.”

“You’re not my superior officer,” Luke mumbled

Leia turned to him, putting a hand on her hip. She shook her head as her eyes narrowed,  “No I'm not. But don’t be an idiot. We’re trying to be nice for one so you could just say thank you. But if that’s not enough, this will ingratiate you to the rebellion hierarchy, making it advantageous to work here. And it will also boost morale for the soldiers.”

“Leia...I’m sorry” Luke said, “I’m just. I’m tired. I haven’t been around this many people in a long time, and I was close to Vader only a few hours ago...and...”

The world spun and it went black.

Chapter Text

Leia

Leia let out a yelp as the Jedi collapsed on the floor. 

“Help!” Leia yelled, “Medic!”

Luke wasn’t super big but Leia knew she couldn’t carry him very far and dragging him didn’t seem ideal. She knelt next to him, and she took his pulse, it was rapid but at least it was there. He seemed to be breathing very fast and shallow but it didn’t sound like he was choking or gasping. But she had absolutely no idea if he'd gotten injured somehow, or was sick. She only knew basic first aid and nothing was bleeding and there were no blaster wounds. As she put her hand on his forehead, he was freezing and sweaty. She bit her lip, she didn’t want this weird man to die, he was actually interesting.

Thankfully two soldiers and a medic showed up and scooped him up. Leia followed to the med bay but was told to wait outside. She bounced on the balls of her feet needing to know Luke wasn’t dying. 

“What’s wrong with Luke?!” A voice Leia had never heard sounded from behind her. 

She turned and saw a woman with dark brown skin and black curly hair. 

The clothes this woman wore were a simple black jacket, long brown pants and a shirt that was worn enough that it was of indeterminate colour. Her eyes were beautiful, striking and a deep compelling brown that was almost black. At that moment the woman’s eyes had a mixture of exhaustion and wildness that brought out some confusing feelings for Leia. 

“You know Luke?” Leia asked.

“Know him? I helped Ben raise him for years since he was a youngling! Who in the karking galaxy do you think you are?” She questioned and jammed her hands into her pants pockets. 

“Are you okay?” Leia prodded as gently as she could, touching the other woman’s arm lightly

“No, actually I'm not! I have incredibly terrible news to share that will likely mess Luke up even more than he already is. And considering Ben isn’t standing here with you I assume he died, well more like I felt it. Ha! When you know someone like that, you know.”

Leia nodded she had followed most of it “He is dead, yes. Darth Vader killed him.”

“Well, I'm glad he went down fighting. He was a very good man.” The woman shook her head, sniffed and blinked rapidly, “So..ah..Do we know what happened to Luke? All I got was med bay.”

“He collapsed out of nowhere.”

“Was he doing something with The Force?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Well there are a lot of people,” The woman tapped her foot, “Was he part of the group that took down the Death Star?”

“Yeah”

Her shoulders fell a bit and sighed, “Probably force exhaustion.”

As she spoke the medic came out, “I’m not sure what’s wrong with him. He had signs of shock and passed out so I was worried something was bleeding inside. But thankfully that wasn’t it. My best guess is his blood pressure was running low maybe because of the dehydration he is presenting with, maybe hunger, anyways, it caused a syncopal episode. Could honestly be just such severe levels of stress after the Death Star. Stress to that extent can be too much for some people”

“It’s force exhaustion, hopefully,” The woman turned her gaze away and spoke so quietly that Leia almost couldn’t hear. “I can’t lose anyone else”

“And may I ask who you are?” The medic asked.

“I’m family.” She met his eyes, an edge of a challenge to her tone. 

He nodded letting her in. Leia stood in the doorway as the woman took Luke’s hand in hers. 

Quiet sobs escaped the woman’s mouth and her shoulders shook. Leia made quick eye contact with the medic who was tending to Luke; he nodded to Leia. The other injured pilots were being taken care of by other medics. It was good there were plenty of people to keep an eye on the new person. 

Leia left them to it, she’d check on them later or maybe tomorrow. Leia walked in a bit of a daze trying to remember what her next task was. There had to be something to do! Her wandering was stopped when she walked into Han Solo without really meaning to. 

“You okay?” He asked, taking her hands in his.

“Luke...he passed out.”

“Yeah, kid does that.”

“What do you mean?”

“Something to do with The Force.’

“That’s what the lady said.”

“What lady?”

“This lady showed up asking after Luke. Said she’s family, so I let her stay with Luke.”

“Some random lady?” Han said, raising an eyebrow.

“The medics are watching. I would just leave him alone with some random person.”

“Good. The kid’s strange. But he’s brave, stupidly brave. Soldiers like that always want to die in battle.”

“Well, that kind of bravery and dedication is something we need. Do you have it?”

“I don’t know princess.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Okay, Leia,” Han said, giving her his best roguish grin. Leia could tell was masking concern so she was only a little annoyed., “You got food in this joint?”

As she stumbled through the halls Leia wanted to laugh; she almost joined Luke in the whole passing out business but made it to the mess hall. 

Han brought them both food and some alcohol that she’d not heard of. Though Leia could definitely use some, Leia had only ever drunk on her eighteenth birthday. She didn’t want to be judged by the high society class as that would negatively affect her career and her dad’s standing. Not only did the degree of karked-up-ness of the day mean she could drink, but there also was not the same system of high society in a military base.

“I have to tell Mon Mothma to put off the award ceremony till Luke’s awake.” Leia made to stand her food barely touched.

“Can’t you call her?”Hans suggested. 

Leia looked Han over. He seemed to be able to tell something was wrong with her.

“Chill Leia, I'm not like Luke, I can't read minds. I just know none of us has slept in way too long, we’ve seen many people die and oh yeah your whole karking planet is gone. It would be mad if you weren’t exhausted.”

A laugh escaped her mouth. “Oh good. I don’t think I could do two magic people.”

Leia grabbed her com from her pocket and punched in Mon Mothma’s code. 

“Leia you okay?” Mon Mothma’s voice came through. 

“Oh yeah, well, no. I’m exhausted, and Luke passed out.”

“Well, we can delay the ceremony till Luke is back on his feet. You can rest too. Does us no good to have you dead on your feet”

“Thank you,” Leia sighed. 

“We’re all a bit strung out.”

The comm turned off and Leia sagged, reached for the bottle to pour herself more alcohol and downed it in one large gulp. Han laughed at her and bit into his sandwich. They stayed like that for a while working through their food. Leia was glad that even though Han finished way before her he still stayed and made idle conversation to fill the silence. It was a kind gesture. 

As they finished up Leia took their trays back Han gave her a crooked smile and said, “That was a lovely first date but I have to go help Chewie do some repairs.”

Leia glared at him crossing her arms. Her brain did not supply her with a comeback before Han had swaggered off leaving her in the mess hall flustered. Stomping off she made her way to her room and flopped on the bed not bothering to take any of her clothes off and let sleep take her for the first time since she’d been captured by Vader. 

~~~~~

Waking up on her bed, Leia muttered not wanting to open her eyes but she did and looked at her Chrono she realised she’d slept for seven hours and was a bit surprised no one had gotten her up to do anything. She debated seriously not getting up. She needed to, she had to get dressed so she would be ready as soon as Luke was stable enough. 

Brushing her hair was a bit soothing and getting into a clean dress outfit made her feel more herself. While dressing fancy wasn’t always her favourite thing, it could impede her ability to run and therefore have fun when she was a child, and not die now that she was an adult. Leia wasn’t averse to fashion; she liked looking nice and finding new ways to look both badass and regal. She just didn’t understand why that couldn’t sometimes be a little more practical, maybe some fun designs. Leia believed in the power of looking the part, she just wished she had more say. Leia froze for a moment, no one was left to tell her how to dress. No parents, no nannies, no one. She shook her head back to the task at hand. 

Leia contemplated who she could ask to help do her hair. But the thought of putting it up made her heart feel like it was being crushed. Her mother had always taken the time to ensure her hair was done in intricate ways. Leia did like having it up, it was both practical and could be made in both traditional and original ways. Breathing deep she looked in the mirror. She had circles under her eyes and a tinge of red in the whites of her eyes. Tears burned her eyes and screams climbed her throat. 

“Focus,” Leia muttered to herself. 

A headband Leia decided was all she needed.

Mon Mothma startled Leia as she came into the room. She sat down with a soft smile and patted the bed and Leia joined

“Your father will be missed.”

“Yeah, no kriff.” Leia said, leaning back against the wall. 

“I knew him well before you were born...”

“I don’t need stories. I know you were senators together. And have worked on the rebellion together.”

“Leia, I need you to listen to me.”

“What!?”Leia exploded!

“I knew your father and we worked a lot to try and prevent The Empire from ever coming about. Along with Padmė Amidala and a few others.” Mon Motha said her tone even taking Leia's hand in her. 

“Okay...” Leia responded, kicking her legs like a bored school child.

“We failed, obviously, but with and after Padmė your father was instrumental. He was also a friend to the Jedi. Obi-Wan Kenobi and Master Yoda specifically. That’s how you ended up with your father. In the chaos of the end of the republic.”

“Yeah my mom was sick, then she died so they adopted me.”

“Of course. But what I'm trying to say is your father and I were close to Luke’s mother, and your father was friends with the man who raised Luke.”

“Okay..and that matters why exactly?”

“He is your family, Leia is what I’m trying to say. Not biologically of course, but he is your family.”

“My family is dead.”Leia snapped as she scrubbed her eyes with the hand Mon Mothma wasn’t holding. She could feel the heat in her face, her nose dripping. 

“I know. What I'm trying to get across to you Leia, you don’t have to be alone. Luke has lost much of his family as well. You could be good for each other.”

The sentiment was nice, but a tangled web of friendships and political alliances was not the same as family. But Leia did like Luke, he was willing to throw himself in front of a blaster if he thought it would help. Even with his strange Jedi-ness, he seemed like a good person. But if she decided to be his friend, whether or not their parents were tied together in the past would not be a factor.

“Also Leia, you are Bail Organa’s daughter, the rebellion does need you. I hate to say that you are so young. But you as a leader, and Luke as a Jedi, we need you both.”

Leia rolled her eyes and huffed, “I would never abandon my duty to the rebellion. Nor would I abandon you Mon Mothma.”

“I know Leia. I just want you to be prepared for what will be expected of you. And I need you to know I'm sorry, you deserve better.”

Then the older woman squeezed Leia’s hand and an attempt at a smile was on her face but her eyes shone with worry. As Mon Mothma left Leia watched the older woman’s posture straighten and she moved her hands until the tension left them. No matter what happened there was a performance to put on. 

Following the example of her friend Leia stood up straightening her dress clothes. She put on a necklace and a belt. She looked as presentable as she thought she could handle at the moment. Leia was confused when she noticed s human ensign was standing in the doorway. It was a girl around Leia’s age with light brown skin and thick dark hair done up in fancy braids. Her eyes had dark circles underneath and a light tinge of grey covered her face and sweat sat on her brow. 

“Mon Motha told me you needed help with your hair.”

“Oh...” Leia said heat rushed to her face. She didn’t want to have hair like her mother wanted, not when her mother would never see it. But it was expected, “Of course.”

The ensign smiled sitting down with a box of hair ties and pens.

 “I’m Alderaanian, my princess.” She whispered.

“I’m so sorry,” Leia said, a lump forming in her throat.

“Yes. It’s...a bad few days for us.”

“You won’t be abandoned.’ Leia said not turning to face her as she felt the braids being weaved into her hair, “ You won’t lose your position. And when this is over, a place will be found for you to live.”

“With my partner and kids? They're somewhere in this base, got to see them when we first got here.”

“Of course, they will go where you do.”

They sat in silence until Leia’s hair was done. She glanced in the mirror and sighed. Time to be Princess Leia, but right then she felt anything but regal.

Chapter Text

Luke

Luke felt a comforting presence in his mind. Luke wanted to reach for it, but reaching out was dangerous. He knew that, So he waited till the tendril reached him and he could imagine himself grabbing onto it. The tendril felt of worry but also of love. It shone with a light that wasn’t blinding but consistent. It started to drag him and it felt like he was surfacing from deep water. 

His body jerked up and he gasped in a huge gulp of air, his lungs felt starved for air. He opened his eyes and looked around the white room before he met the gaze of La’ara. A smile spread across her face and she wrapped him in a bone-crushing hug.

“Luke... you stupid brave fool.”

“Hi,” Luke said, hugging her back.

La’ara let go and leaned back in her chair. Tears ran freely from her eyes, her body covered in sweat like she was sick. She ran her sleeve on her forehead and said, “You don't get to die on me, you hear that? You will not leave me yet. ”

“Okay...but my buir...” The words got stuck in his throat looking into La’ara’s face, someone he knew loved his dad. 

“I know Ben is dead. I felt it, and a girl who was waiting for you confirmed it.”

“White dress and hair in buns,” Luke said, tracing the design of Leia's buns on the sides of his head.

“That’s the one.”

“That’s Princess Leia, she’s really good. Great fighter and seems pretty nice.”

“She was waiting for you, so she cares. That’s enough for me...Luke, I have some bad news.”

Luke felt his heart squeeze, he hadn’t felt a huge disturbance in The Force, but between Alderaan, losing his buir, Vader and the Death Star...Luke might have been overwhelmed. His ability to feel The Force was already frayed; it was possible someone could be...gone. 

“Kanan, he died,” La’ara said, voice watery. 

“Oh...I....” Luke didn’t know what to say; he felt energy leak out of his body. Kanan was a good man, a good Jedi Knight. One of the few remnants outside of old buildings and holocrons of the real Jedi Order. Kanan was such a kind, smart and steadfast being. Being loved fully and honestly is the most important thing a person can do. 

“And Ezra, he’s missing along with Grand Admiral Thrawn. Sabine says they used The Force, so they both jumped to who knows where. Did it by somehow using Purrgil? I don’t know.”

“Kark..Kark.” Luke mumbled, “I would have felt him die, wouldn’t I? I think so.”

“He’s not necessarily dead Luke, just missing. You probably would have felt if he left this plane of existence.”

Imagining Ezra talking to purgil made him let out a huff of a laugh. Connecting to animals had always been something Ezra was good at. Like Luke was good with emotions. 

Thinking of the determined, kind, reckless man Luke had been so infatuated with made Luke’s head start to fill with fuzz. Luke blinked hard as tears dripped down his face. He’d lost his Buir, a friend and the first person he’d ever had romantic feelings for. They would never snuggle or kiss again, never get shown a holovid Luke hadn’t seen before, ergo most of them. “Missing” Yeah right, that was as good as gone. Luke slumped back. He wanted to go back into the darkness. Float forever in the calm sea of The Force.

La’ara grabbed his hand tethering him to this world. Luke focused on the flow of warmth and determination from his family. La’ara had been his family since he was so young. One of the few persons his dad trusted implicitly. One of the few people Luke trusted implicitly. Honestly, the only one left without his dad, Ezra and Ahsoka. Maybe Leia, if she ended up putting up with him. He loved the rest of the StarRunner crew and Ghost crew. He wanted to make the world better for them. To stop the endless karking druk they have had to face. But he didn’t feel the same connection, maybe it was that La’ara was force-sensitive, or maybe something else. 

“Luke, Kanan loved his family. And he cared for you. What is it you and Ben say? That The Force is love? So he’s not really gone. He will always be there for the Ghost crew, meaning he is with Ezra no matter where he is. Kanan would never let his Padawan become a Knight alone.”

“But I can't talk to either of them. I lost more family, and two of the only other Jedi.”

“Yeah. It ain’t fair Luke. War never is. Kriff life never is. ”

“How is the Runner crew?”

“No one is dead. We weren't with the Ghost crew or you all. We were doing a mission to bring medical supplies to refugees. So we were spared the worst of any of it.” 

“Good. Couldn’t lose more family today.”

“You can come hang on the StarRunner anytime you want. Your and Ben’s cabin is open to you whenever you need it. I’m sure the droids would love to see you.”

“My droids,” Luke smiled, “They’re good boys. I made a new droid friend, Artooie”

“That’s good you’ve always been way into them.”

Their conversation was interrupted when Leia walked in and she was trailed by a nervous soldier. Leia looked very pretty. Her hair was done in an even more complicated updo and her current white dress looked more like a drawing of an angel or queen versus the basic tunic she’d worn before.

“You okay walking to get the award?”

“Wait one moment princess.” The Medic cut in.

The man made him do a series of strange tests. Making him follow a finger with his eyes, answering inane questions, and having a scan done over him a few times. He was pricked and his blood was quickly analysed. 

“He needs to drink lots of water and eat some food. But otherwise, he seems okay. Come back if you start puking or something.”

“Wonderful’ Luke slid off the cot and left with Leia and La’ara the soldier standing one step behind Leia. 

“Princess Leia, this is Captain La’ara of the StarRunner.” Luke introduced. 

“It’s good to meet you, princess. Our little Luke is moving up in the world meeting princesses.”

“Luke saved my life. I wouldn’t have been able to get off the Death Star without him.”Leia said with an indulgent smile on her face. 

“You were holding your own,” Luke commented.

“Oh yeah, you wouldn’t have gotten out without me. We were a good team.” Leia said with finality.  

“Our Luke is a good fighter and pilot. I should know I taught him to shoot and helped with the flying.” La’ara boasted. Luke could tell her smile wasn’t quite right and her eyes were still and red and purple from stress and crying. 

“Then we thank you. His fighting prowess and flying skills helped us save many lives. And buy us time to get away. The Death Star would be operational without him.” Leia nodded firmly. 

They walked through what felt like pointless hallways. Luke was starting to feel light-headed again. The Force exhaustion had really taken it out of him. Luke didn’t really get sick, so the aches in his body and clammy skin were something that happened very rarely to him. He shook his head and focused on his breath and the force within him. Let himself connect with La’ara’s force. He centred himself to try and get through this. He couldn’t deal with the inside right now, so he focused on what was outside of him.

“And Han,” Luke added focusing on other people

“Whoes Han?” La’ara asked.

“Captain Solo.” Leia answered, “He got Luke and Obi-Wan Kenobi to the Death Star, got the two of us out, and helped Luke shoot the station.”

“Oh, Kark Yeah! I’m so proud of you! Making friends and slaying Imps.”La’ara said and ruffled Luke’s hair.

“I forgot. This is Ensign Nell Eras, she’s a new friend of mine.” Leia said. 

“Good to meet you,” Luke and La’ara said together. 

She smiled, “It's cool to meet a Jedi, like for real and my Princess on the same day.”

“Yeah, Luke is the third one I've met. Kanan and his padawan Ezra helped me once.” Leia said.

Luke faltered as he stepped hearing their names. But decided that letting her know she had lost even more people could wait till after Leia completed whatever it was she was currently leading them towards. 

Leia stopped at a large set of double doors, “The soldiers and operatives assigned at this post are assembled. You, Han and Chewbacca will walk in together. I'll be at the front with a few other people to give you the awards for bravery. Okay?"

Luke nodded

“Where is that pilot?” Leia muttered. 

On Cue Han Solo and Chewbacca showed up and he clapped Luke on the shoulders.

“We good to do this little pageant?” Han questioned.

Leia sighed but she and the ensign made their way down the hallway he was sure to get ready. 

La’ara brushed Luke’s hair from his eyes. She was seeming much more maternal, for lack of a better word, than she normally was. Luke was used to her being sturdy for the most part but also sarcastic and funny. She had never tried to be in charge of him, though of course had treated him like a kid as he hadn’t been of age until the end of their working together. 

“I’m sorry I'm fussing.” La’ara said, “You are part of my crew you’re all my responsibility. Even though you aren’t on my ship anymore. I have a duty of care over you. And I failed, Ben died.”

“My dad knew he was going to die La’ara. He wouldn’t blame you and I don’t either.”

She let out a scoff and had herself in a hug wrapping her own arms tightly to her. “Even if Mom, Alema and Ben were older than me. I've always known I was responsible for what happened to them and of course you and Bialla. I wasn’t there for you, and I should have been”

“The Force needed it to be this way La’ara. You are still here, so focus on the future okay? We are going to get rid of The Empire. Who has taken so much from us okay? It’s my responsibility, but I'm going to need all of you. Okay?”

“Anything for you Luke” La’ara had a half smile, “Speaking of the others I should go tell them you’re okay. And you can do your little song and dance here.”

Luke nodded as she left Luke glanced at Han who was sharing a look with Chewie.

“You just want to be involved in literally everything in this galaxy,” Han said sardonically

“I’m a Jedi, it's my job.”

Han shrugged, and then the door opened. 

Egged on by too loud music he, Han, and Chewie walked past assembled rebels to where Leia stood with some other fancily dressed people. 

They nervously stood and Luke resisted rocking on his feet. Leia looked at both of them with a regal look that mercifully became a slight smile that made it to her eyes. She gave them both a fancy meda.l Luke felt awkward about it. Though it was good that these people appreciated what he tried to do for them. They could hate him for not keeping their fighters more safe or who knows what else. So them liking him was nice. 

~~~~~

Luke was grateful he was having a meal on the StarRunner. Even after so much had happened their force signatures were familiar and safe. The space was quiet enough and even with the grief it wasn’t suffocating like being around all the rebels was. The lack of adrenaline pushing him forward did make him aware of how incredibly sore he was. Every muscle in his body ached and he had a massive headache. 

Rations remained gross but Luke was starving. They let him have a second set and he was very grateful. 

After the meal, they stayed in the common area listening to music and drinking alcohol. 

“Are you coming back to us?” Mom Acrum asked quietly as she swished her drink. 

“I’m not sure .” Luke admitted, “They might send me someplace and Leia is going to need me.”

“Why?” Alema questioned. 

“Well, I need to be as useful as possible. I need to be helpful going forward and they need Jedi, and I'm the only choice they have left.”

No one said anything for a beat. Luke pushed his shaggy hair behind his hair and sighed. There was no way this went well, was there? The war was going to hurt them, and Luke would have to try and be enough for everyone, by himself.

“What about Leia?” Bialla asked. 

“Well, she’s my sister,” Luke said, looking at his hands. “So I can't leave her to the lothwolves.”

“You just never stop being full of surprises.” Mom Acrum said with a smile and patted his hand. 

“My life is karking complicated,” Luke mumbled.

“She feels fine,” La’ara said. “I didn't get any danger vibes.”

“No, I don't think she’s dangerous to me. StormTroopers? Sure. She won't hurt me as long as she doesn’t have reason to believe I'm a threat.” Luke agreed, finishing off his drink. 

“Ya know it’s weird to see you drinking.” Alema said, “You were always so little nerra. Now you’re all grown up, going off on your own. ”

“Don’t worry nerru , The StarRunner will always be my home, and it’s crew, my family.”

“What did you mean, leaving her to the lothwolves? Is someone trying to hurt her?” La’ara asked, popping open another drink.

“She’s lost her parents to this. And her whole planet. She seems to know the people in charge, but I'm not sure yet if that’s good or not.”

They nodded, 

“If you ever need our help keeping her safe. Just ask.” La’ara said, “I’ll give you our new private Com code. If she is important to you, she’s important to us.”

“I Will.”

“You are not on your own Luke.” Billia reinforced, “As long as one of the four of us is breathing, you will never be alone.”

Luke gave a weak smile and bid them good night. He went to his and his dad’s...no just his. Cabin and sat on the ground and noticed his knapsack Han had given him had somehow ended up here. He scooted over and opened it up. He took the two plush toys and sat them on the top bunk. He took the extra clothes out of the bag and put them in the drawer. There were some tools as well that they had held on to from Tatooine. 

Climbing on the top bunk Luke let out a hiss as he lay flat. His body felt heavy along with the soreness. He wanted nothing more than to sleep but he found himself only able to stare at the ceiling. Tears streamed down his face, they felt cold even though that was impossible. The wound on his spirit left by the severing of his tie to his father felt like it was still bleeding. It made the scars from Master Vos, Master Ventress, and Ahsoka burn.

What Luke was about to do to end this war would probably be called jaro by a Mandalorian. But it was what Luke was meant to do. He would kill and probably die to make this osik end. Nothing mattered but making sure everyone else made it through this alive. 

His Grand Master had told him as a kid that it was his destiny to protect everyone. He’d spent his whole life getting ready for this. He’d been lucky to love and have been loved in return. And he’d try and show that love as much as he could. But in the end, he was a tool for the greater good.

Chapter Text

Leia

Leia woke up breathing raggedly, her body felt over hot and her head hurt. The urge to move overtook her and she half walked half ran from her room walking blindly through the base till she found a caf maker and turned it. She sat on the cold tiles hugging her knee to her chest. She let out a long breath while closing her eyes. She had no energy to move even if the tiles felt twice as cold due to her night clothes being soaked in sweat. 

Leia jumped when a voice spoke to her,

“Excuse me, Princess, Do you want company?” it asked

“Why?”

“Because I can't sleep either. Though caf is an interesting choice. I might have gone for tea, ‘s more calming.”

Leia looked up and met bright blue eyes that looked tired. The low glow of the sleep cycle room made him mostly shadow. His body was soft though, with minimal tension in his muscles. And what she could see of his face was friendly. She was just able to identify the figure as Luke. 

“Okay.” She said, 

Luke sat cross-legged next to her. 

“You’re not alone, Leia. If you want me to. I can have your back.”

Leia wondered if Mon Mothma had talked to him. Or maybe he knew the relationship their parents had been all tied up in. 

“If the only reason you want to be my friend is because the man who raised you knew my father then you can kark off,” Leia said, hugging her legs tighter. That wasn’t enough, it was better to be alone than to only be cared about in theory. All Alderan would be known as was part of history, she wanted to be alive . 

“I mean I won’t lie, that is part of it. But more so I know what it’s like to lose people, Leia. I’m lucky that the RunnerCrew cares for me. But my list of dead includes many. As a young kid, it was just me and my buir. He had lost his family, and I didn't have my parents." Luke paused.

 Leia looked at him. A glazed-over expression covered his face. She might not be a Jedi but she could feel the amount of emotions that were crashing behind his eyes. 

Luke gulped and continued, “I had times I felt very alone. And a lot of the family we tried to build along the way, they died. Leia, I’m very lucky to have people who will back my play. I want you to have that too.”

“Okay. What would that entail?”

“I mean I’m really good at killing people, I can fix droids, run vaporators, perform ship maintenance, I want to listen to you and be your friend.”

Leia was confused for a minute. But she believed he was genuine and his voice read as honest and comforting. He leaned to the side and knocked his shoulder on hers and she let out a breath. There was a kindness radiating from him in a way that felt warm. She wanted to believe him. 

The prospect of having to wear her dad's too-big shoes and help people all on her own was daunting. Her training and learning were over and she was scared. 

And now this ridiculous boy was offering murder and friendship in the same breath as ways to help her. Leia looked back at him, he still had the strange feeling that something was off. But her generally well-attuned danger single wasn’t going off. She didn’t know what to do with that.

“You’re not right Luke Nabrrie, you know that?”

“I’ve been told I'm strange, yeah. Does that mean you don’t want to be my friend?”

“I don’t need a mercenary, at least right now. But having a Jedi on the front lines? That would be very useful. And having someone to talk to, could probably help. Always good to bounce ideas off someone.”

“I can definitely do those things.”

“If, say, I have a different plan to what Mon Mothma and the generals have. Would you use your Jedi clout to support my play?”

“Probably. I mean strategy in these big war situations isn’t my thing. I’m a more targeted action-type guy. But if saying I agree would help, I'd do it.”

“Why?”

“I told you why” Luke said, Leia was surprised he didn’t sound agitated, more sad.

“I get that you want to help someone you empathise with, that makes sense. And clearly, you have your own moral code in your brain which, I can’t really judge you for developing in this crazy galaxy. But I mean more, why are you willing to kill and be killed for the rebel alliance”

“I have to. I can’t do anything else. It’s my job to protect people. I have to end this war. My life is irrelevant outside of that. I don’t matter outside of stopping The Empire. ”

Leia turned and tilted her head, she scanned his body language and his shadowed face. Leia didn’t think he was lying, or even being intentionally melodramatic. He was holding her gaze steady and true. She would set the implications of someone thinking they didn’t matter to the side for now. And focus on the fact that having allies in this alliance could be good. 

“Okay,” Leia said, “Okay. It can’t hurt to have a Jedi for a friend.”

Luke’s eyes lit up and a smile tugged at his mouth. “Thank you, Princess Leia.”

“Just Leia is fine.”

“Leia.”

The Caf machine made a sound to let them know it was ready. Leia stood up, poured them both cups then led Luke to a table and sat down. Leia wondered if she should just go to a room. Luke had offered to listen to her, and she had used the word friend. But he might really be offering a power alliance. Or this could be that he really did just want to be friends with someone who might understand his grief. 

“Let’s talk about something that isn't depressing,'' Leia suggested. 

“What kind of food do you like?” Luke asked.

Leia nodded, they discussed food from many places and holiday foods. Luke had a weird mixture of types of rations and really rare food on the same plain. But she supposed that maybe that was just what spacers were like. The thought of pilots drove her mind to Han Solo who was definitely flittering with her, obviously, but annoyingly not totally poorly. 

“Luke...Just so you know. I’m not in the market for sex.”

Luke started with a look of confusion. It was the most obvious emotion he had shown outside of the exhaustion from earlier. He sputtered for a few moments before gathering himself.

“Leia, don't worry about that. Like you’re very pretty and all. But I'm not..er.. don't want to date you."

She laughed at his awkwardness and felt relief. “So you don’t want to have sex with me?”

“Currently I don't want to have sex with anyone. I just want to be friends. I don’t have many people my age.”

“Well, that’s good. Because I don't want any either. And also I don't know if I want to date a religious fanatic.”

Luke threw his hands in the air and sighed, “I promise Jedi really aren't a cult. Like we meditate but that doesn’t make us crazy.”

Leia grinned, which felt wrong when her parents were gone. Her home was gone. The pain was still making her body feel too hot and her stomach churned in sadness and anger. But there was a flutter in her chest of connection. It was strange, she didn’t feel happy per se just like Luke might be good for her. 

“I know we said we were talking about happy things, but you said that you’ve lost people. People you considered family. So, like, how did you deal with that?”

“Oh. Well, I had my dad, until now I mean, and that helped. But I think to be honest I just tried to throw myself into whatever we had to. Had a good breakdown and cried for sure. But I have to do something to make the world better. I have to do enough.”

“So throw yourself into your job and never deal with it?” Leia said tilting her head half smiling.

“Basically. I never told you that I dealt with it well . I also do believe in The Force. And I believe that the love someone has for others stays with you. The Force is love, so you might not get to talk to them, but they are still there with you.”

Leia wasn’t sure if that was real or not but the idea of her parents' love still being with her was intoxicating. “If that’s true, then that would be wonderful.”

Luke let out a huff and shrugged, “I need to believe it I think”

“We all have those things.” Leia agreed. 

Luke glanced at the clock on the wall and drank the end of his caf. “I need to get back to the Runner before they realise I'm gone. They don’t sleep great either and if I disappeared they're gonna be calling me.”

Leia nodded, “I should try and at least rest.

~~~~~

Sleep did not come for Leia Organa and the day shift clicked in and she was up getting dressed and fixing her hair. The talk with Luke flitted through her thoughts along with anxiety over what would be expected of her. She had never had a title in the rebellion. Just done missions for them with the cover of humanitarian grounds. Aldarran had also always been there for her to go back to. She had never been involved in big decisions. Only attending a few meetings involving the rebellion.

Now this would be her full-time life. There was nothing to go back to, no home. Just base hopping and flying ships. It was terrifying to be honest. Not to mention having to prove her worth. She would never be her dad but Leia was sure that she could still be an asset to them. 

Leia walked to the cantine again and got food unsure where to sit. The pilots, ground troops and spies were grouped together. The people who had children, whether they were with them or having been hidden somewhere else sat separate from the single people who shared their job. The generals along with Mon Mothma sat together as well. Leia fretted for a minute before noticing Han, Chiew, and Luke sitting on the far side looking about as awkward as she felt. 

Sitting down next to Luke Artoo came over and she patted his head. 

“He’s a great little droid.” Luke commented, “I wonder if he and Arrfour would get along.”

“You have your own droid?” Han asked.

“He’s the droid that works with the StarRunner crew. Maintenance and diagnostics ya know?” Luke explained.

“Speaking of Droids, where is C3PO?” Leia said, glancing around her heart suddenly in her throat. C3PO could be, well a lot, but he had belonged to her family for who knows how long.

Artoo let out a series of noises and Luke nodded, “Threepio is getting a clean.”

“Oh, he’ll like that.” 

“You know that neurotic droid well?” Han asked.

“Since I was a kid, he's like family” Leia confirmed, “No idea why my parents had one of that make. He was outdated when I was a kid. He always was a bit different mechanically; some of the people who helped maintain him said he was made in an idiosyncratic fashion.”

“That’s because he was hand-built from pieces of other droids,” Luke explained.

Leia turned to him, how the hell did he know anything about that?

“Anakin Skywalker, the Jedi, built him and gave him to Senator Amidala before I guess he ended up with you all at some point. But he doesn’t remember, Artoo does though, being Anakin Skwalker’s droid. My buir knew Anakin from the Jedi.” Luke said. 

“Why do you seem to just know everything?” Leia raised an eyebrow. 

The way Luke knew stuff she didn't know about her life, was very upsetting. It also sucked that he got to know at least that his family came from Naboo. He got to be raised by someone who knew Jedi culture. Leia had this emotional impression along with a pair of eyes seared into her brain. But nothing else about her mother. She was an orphan twice over. Why did he get what she didn’t have? Leia caught herself Luke was just like her now. He didn’t have his biological parents or the man who had raised him. Double orphans the both of them. 

Even so, it still hurt that her parents had never given her any information. The critical thought of her parents stopped as she imagined their kind expressions, always saying she was an Organa in and out, no matter her biological heritage. She had been raised with love, with a culture, with a drive to do what’s right. Not because of destiny or fate, but because it was the right thing to do. 

These winding heritages weren’t as important in the end then the fact her parents had been good people and good to her. Sure they had fought and disagreed. A lot of it was about how much Leia should know about the rebellion and how much she should be involved in actual missions. 

On the other hand with the loss of her parents, she would probably never learn where her biological mother and father were from. What their names were. Anything. And it was a strange form of loss. Not the same as the storm brewing inside her of rage and despair over the destruction of her home. This was like losing something you never had. Was that even possible?

Leia was jarred from her spiral by someone repeating her name. She looked up and saw Luke with a concerned expression. 

“What?” Leia snapped.

“Leia, it’s okay. Whatever swept you away you can come back now.”

Leia wasn’t sure what he meant but she felt herself settle back into her body and she turned to her now lukewarm food and ate it. Not too bad, it was highly packaged and far from what you would call real food. But seeing as she didn’t want to actively vomit it was good enough. 

Han and Luke had eaten their food quickly and were sipping on the caf. Now that she was actually in the room she could smell the drinks had something else added to them. She rolled her eyes, but that seemed very in character for a hotshot pilot and well Luke just seemed like someone flat out not dealing. Even with his spiritual language, he was not well. 

The Alliance High Command stood up and Leia jumped, she needed to know what her new job was. Just drifting as a princess from nowhere did not sound like a good plan. 

“Bye boys,” Leia said with a half smile. 

Leia followed them into a room with a holo projector in the middle. The door closed behind her and she stood awkwardly fiddling with the sleeves of her top.

They all turned to look at her and then shared a glance with each other. 

“Princess.” 

“General”

“You have a lot of training, better than many who could theoretically fill the position. You may only be a junior senator but you’ve been trained with those skills as well as being involved in diplomatic missions. And there is the power in having an Aldarranian still by our side, and the child of someone who can easily be turned into a martyr.” General Dodonna said. 

Leia felt her hair stand on in. Turn him into a martyr? He was a karking hero! These men manipulated his...wait no they were right. That would be very good. Her father had never lifted a hand to violence in any of this but had always been a steady force. 

“Okay. But I will not be a puppet.”

“We never thought that of you, Leia.” General Dodanna and Mon Mothma said together. 

“Get me up to speed.” Leia nodded.

She was ushered forward and given her own Data pad to look at. She split her time between the pad that had some info for her to get caught up with and another where she was taking notes from the current conversation. 

It was probably a less productive meeting as Leia had to get them to decipher some acronyms and jargon. But overall they did make some big decisions and it made her feel like she could do this...well hopefully. 

~~~~~

Leia sat next to her new ensign friend. They read through the reports that were given to Leia to review. 

“What happens when this is over?” Nell asked.

“I told you I'll make sure any Alderaanians who were off planet have somewhere to live.”

“I know. But in general. I hate the Empire. I want it gone. It treats people like garbage. It’s gutted so many people's lives, and now mine and yours. But I'm not sure what comes next.”

Leia paused, she hadn’t given it thought yet. The fire in her stomach was fed by anger, that was what was driving her. If she let it go out she might die starving in the darkness loss had fashioned her. But no, her mom and dad wouldn’t have wanted that. They wanted her to have a life, and Leia wanted one. She had wanted to live in the better world the rebels were making. 

Just because she was The Princess of Space Dust didn’t mean she had to give herself up to despair. She was afraid, lost and confused. Circumstances supported such a state of mind. But Leia would not let herself stay there. Because she was going to win, and then she would make a galaxy you could be proud to live in. Not the unstable republic that had fallen to fear or an Empire that ruled with malice. And damn would she be the one to make it. 

To honour her parents and because she kaking deserved it. All this hell she’d been through, she was owed something. And so was every person around her who had suffered. 

“No, I do know. We make a better galaxy. For your children and the rest of the younglings. For all the slaves we can free and the wanderers we can make homes for. And for ourselves.”

“I hope that’s true.”

“No hope Ensign Nell, I don't let anything ethereal decide my fate anymore. I decide my fate.”

And kark did she want to believe that's true. That she could still do that, even with the hole in her chest. 

~~~~~

Like the previous night, Leia scrambled from her bed in the middle of the night cycle and saw Luke sitting on a table with two mugs next to him.

“How’d you know you would need two?” Leia asked.

“When life decides to chew you and spit you out for good measure you fall into patterns.”

Leia nodded, he wasn’t wrong. She joined him sitting on the table.

“I get to help plan things from now on.”

“Bureaucracy? Fun.” Luke jokes awkwardly.

“It’s not that bad. A lot of reading but that’s not too bad.”

“That’s a big part of why.”

“bore you to death?"

Luke looked into his mug, “No just I probably wouldn’t know half of it. I can speak Basic, Huttese, Tewli’ki, Mandoa, and Binary. But I can only really read enough to get around and run a ship.”

“Wasn’t the man who raised you like a famous Jedi?”

“Yes, my buir, he was a Jedi.”

“Jedi studied.”

“Leia I didn’t have any data pads to read from as a kid much less actual books,” Luke said with a sigh.

“Did you have holo vids?”

“Yeah”

"That money could have been spent on books.” Leia countered.

Luke bristled and looked pointedly away from her. He was quite a while before gathering the wherewithal to speak, 

“I could watch the videos with everyone, Leia. And I think we totally owned fourteen for the almost ten years we lived with the Runner crew. When we did have more money than usual they bought me tools and a pet droid, even baked me cake. Think of that, something I could build and learn to maintain while being fun. The luxury we usually went for was to have actual non-ration food and for me to not wear clothes two sizes too small. When does someone whose future includes fighting and flying have a need to read bureaucratic documents?”

Leia didn’t know what to think. She knew she had never wanted for anything in her life. Presents, food, and books were all a given to her. And the Jedi in front of her lived in a wildly different world. But it was still strange that Luke couldn’t really read when from everything her parents had said and the digging she’d done on the history of the Empire while they were vicious fighters Jedi also gate-kept knowledge Or kept it safe depending on your view. So that a Jedi would read only what a kid would be able to read was strange.

“Luke, I understand not having money...”

“I can do enough maths to run a ship. I can fix any machine you ask me to.” Luke said his voice coming out somewhere between embarrassed and defensive, “And my memory is really good." 

“You are intelligent Luke I'm sure.” She did not know that for sure. A good fighter and pilot yes, and a relatively nice person. Though that strangeness still surrounded him and it was irking her she couldn’t work out exactly what it was about him she found interesting. 

Leia thought of her own education. They’d started teaching her to read and basic maths since before she could remember. Her parents very much saw education and multidimensional thinking as necessary for her to protect herself, and eventually lead others. She knew self-defence and how to shoot, she could draw and paint (not well but she understood), could play the piano, and was ahead of everyone around her in history, science, and reading over her peers. She had even been given time to spend with her mom learning about fashion. Luke hadn’t gotten that. Fixing droids and running ships was not only a spacers skill set but even most spacers had gotten some sort of education. But what did she know? If they had inconsistent money, not to mention hiding from the empire. Reading and maths lessons weren’t really an option. Yeah, she was being judgmental. They were both raised to be great, just at wildly different things. Though Luke did deserve a better education, maybe she could help?

“I’m sorry Luke. I shouldn’t judge you, we all learn what we have access to. It’s not anyone's fault.”

Luke looked her directly in her eyes pleading.“Leia, I swear I can still be helpful. Please, I need to help.”

What was wrong with him? Of course she needed his help. Whatever his baggage was she needed his Jedi skills, hopefully, he could see. They had a fight to win, his chaotic childhood could be dealt with latter.

Chapter Text

Luke

Leia let out a sigh “Luke, I don't really care. If you can be helpful on the ground and help me kill imps and free the galaxy that’s what I need.”

Luke felt vulnerable looking at Leia. She was judging his family and he hated it. He knew he hadn’t had a normal education wasn’t normal. His dad had been focused on a systematic education in being a Jedi. What he needed to know in philosophy, history or whatever was taught to him by his dad’s talking to him. How likely was it when you were running from The Empire or smuggling for the rebellion were they to find data sticks with Jedi history to read? He learned through his dad’s stories, and it worked. Luke could recite histories of the old and high republic Jedi, Jedi legends of ancient times and the recent history of the Clone Wars. Most importantly he had skills to help people. He’d also picked up stories and skills from the StarRunner crew and Ghost crew as well. So who cared if he couldn’t read stupid fancy documents? It’s not like he’d gone starving, he'd gotten presents, candy and his own tools. His life was just as full of love as anyone with a princess’ education. 

But was his father’s teaching and learning from the Runner crew enough for this ?

Ugh. He’d never felt bad about his own intelligence before. Or more importantly his usefulness. If Leia or the other people in charge thought him too stupid to be of help what then? He could travel with his family on the StarRunner sure, but what use was that in the end? It wouldn’t get him close to Vader which was his whole point of existing. 

Fire coursed through his veins, his thoughts racing. How could he end up in this position where his usefulness could be brought into question? He was mad at himself for not being good enough, mad at himself for even questioning if his family had been enough. And scared of his own anger. 

“Hey Luke '' Leia asked, bringing his face to look into hers, “Whatever you're wasting time ruminating in your head, knock it off. I need all the hands I can get to bring The Empire to its knees so stay karking focused got it?”

“Thanks, Leia. I have to stop The Empire, I have to.” Luke insisted as the anger drained and his body felt heavy with exhaustion and shame. 

“Yeah, they took so much of your family from you. We’re the same that way, as you’ve pointed out. I want revenge too.”

“No, I mean yes I get that, but no. Revenge, I can't think of it that way. I just can’t. I will not let myself become like Vader if I do that. It’s about obligation, it’s about duty, it’s about being what people need me to do. I will fight The Empire, it’s what I have to do, why I exist.” Luke explained. 

“Sure if that keeps you in the game, I don't see why it matters. Ending this unending death” Leia agreed, her voice reassuring. 

But it did matter. When the stakes were Dark and Light everything mattered. Even with the fear of the Dark Side Luke almost wished the transient anger would stay. He couldn’t afford to fall apart. His battle skills would mean nothing if he was too physically and emotionally exhausted to even get out of bed. 

They sat in the dark drinking their mediocre tea. The silence wasn’t meditative, but it also wasn’t too awkward. Well not awkward until Leia sighed and leaned sideways into him. 

“Why do I keep talking to you, Luke?”

“I like you too Leia” Luke knew that wasn’t exactly what she had said, but close enough. And there was fondness coming off of her, “You are bright and true in the force. And just so much”

“Much?” Leia asked

“You burn like a star, Leia, bright and hot. You give off power and sincerity.”

“That’s why you like me, why do I like you?’ She reiterated her question.

That was a good question. He’d been useful and nice but there were a million nice people. He knew a lot of nice people, and while he of course wanted to be nice back, that didn’t mean he trusted them. La’ara was the only person in the galaxy he trusted completely and with every part of him. He loved the rest of the Runner crew more than he could ever put into words. He trusted them to have his back should he need it, they would all die for each other. It wasn’t really in degree but type La'ara was the only one he would spill his proverbial guts to. He wasn’t sure but it felt different. She had taken care of his dad just as much as Luke had, and that endeared her to him. The others too but not to the same extent, and he had needed it, he’d never found a way to be enough for his dad. Then of course they shared The Force.

The Force therein lies the problem, he wasn’t sure if he could tell Leia everything yet. A bond was forming between him and his sister. He hadn’t been paying attention. Apparently saving each other's lives and two conversations over coffee was enough for there to be a clear line in the Force linking them. Luke wondered if it had formed when they first drew breath. Biology and destiny tied them together. As long as neither of them resisted it could continue to become strong. It might not just be a quirk of the Force but that didn’t mean that degree of connection couldn’t pull them through Sith hell and back to each other. The way the one with his Buir had, or the one his Buir had with Anakin.  

To explain all of that, and the Force, in general, sounded karking exhausting. He wasn’t going to lie straight up to her. And he knew he should really tell her before she was in front of Vader again. The Sith now had a personal reason to hate them both after his stupid Death Star blew up. Knowing she had the Force might help her survive that degree of darkness.

But of course. It was a double-edged sword though. It could put her in danger, of course, people might feel her if her abilities weren’t quickly tamed. But that wasn’t even really why he was worried about telling her. He didn’t want to overwhelm her emotionally. Not telling her about what had happened to keep her safe would be patronising, Being lied to felt worse and would make it hard for them to be close in the future. But the fact they were siblings needed to wait, he wasn’t sure he could tell her without bursting into tears, he’d longed to meet Leia, and loved her fiercely, since before he knew her name. His own ache for a connection with her would be impossible to hide and he didn’t want her to feel pressure to love him back.

“You are in tune with The Force,” Luke said, his words choppy and strained. 

“Why would that be why?” Leia asked.

“Force users connect on a level others don’t. As long as they care about each other. It can make a psychic bond. And the longer that bond stands the stronger it is. It can be used to communicate, but you still don’t know the other person's thoughts. More their emotional state.”

“You think we are doing that? I didn’t agree to do that.” Leia's eyebrows knit together. 

“The Force doesn’t give a damn about what you want. It does as it pleases.” Luke said harshly.

“Don’t talk to me like that! I don’t want to be a Jedi.” Leia paused and Luke felt her muscles tighten, “That’s not why you want to be my friend right? To replace your dead friends?”

“They were my family Leia. But no. You don’t have to be a Jedi. La’ara is gifted to be connected to the force. But the only part she does on purpose is to augment her fighting and she meditates. And a bit of the Jedi code to help her control her emotions, but she isn’t a Jedi. Leia, I don’t care if you're a Jedi or not.”

“So you don’t want me to be a Jedi?”

“If that's not what you want I will never make you do it. Being a Jedi? It’s a commitment, it’s a way of living. You having the Force just means, if you want, I can teach you to help your fighting style and be able to use it for defence. And you should probably meditate and be able to not broadcast yourself to every force user..”

“What if I do nothing?”

“I could feel you growing stronger just by us being together, Leia. And the bond between us is solidifying. I don’t know what that means to be honest, but I worry you might be able to be tracked even if I told you nothing. And I'm sorry, I should have kept a better track and left you alone.” Luke said guilt swirling in his stomach and he looked away from his sister. He’d just realised he was toxic to her, just like everyone he loved, he always put them through more than they should have to deal with. 

“It’s fine, you didn't do it on purpose. And I wouldn't have let you just disappear. You have to help me save everyone, just like you said you would.” Leia insisted.

“I could help without being around you,” Luke said softly. 

Leia stiffened and turned to face him slowly. Then everything went very fast as Leia’s fist very nearly missed his face. Luke was very grateful for his Jedi reflexes as he was pretty sure it would have landed hard. 

“I have lost everything, Luke Naberrie. Don’t come here with your bloody survivor's guilt. I have enough of my own. And if I want to be friends with you then I karking well will! Do you understand?” Leia yelled. 

Luke didn’t have to answer as footsteps interrupted them. 

“How are the two weirdos doing?” Han questioned. 

“Drinking cold tea. Make us some more?” Leia answered, settling herself on the table and kicking her legs like they were not just fighting. 

Luke leaned into her and whispered softly, “I’m sorry”

“What are you two talking about?”Han said loudly.

“Rather it’s Luke's fault if I'm wrapped up in his Force nonsense.”

“Oh fun. What Jedi kriff did he wrap you into?”

“In my defence, I didn’t know it would happen” Luke muttered. 

“He says I'm force sensitive.”

“Two wizards?” Han groaned. 

“She’s not a Jedi. Being force-sensitive isn’t the same as being a Jedi. Ahsoka wasn’t a Jedi nor is La’ara and they both have the force.” Luke explained. 

“So. What happens now?” Han asked.

“I might teach her to fight. But at the very least to have mental shields and meditate.” Luke said. 

“Well could be worse. At least I don’t have to wear robes that are all the same colour.”Leia joked. 

Luke looked down and noticed that the three tunics he owned were all tan to brown coloured. So was his cloak and boots. Though now he had the black and yellow he’d gotten for the medal ceremony. But Leia wore a lot of white so how could she judge?

“The clock robe or tunic combo is Jedi standard. Well for most Jedi some wore other stuff.” Luke explained, “Most of the outfits I'm wearing came from Tatooine anyway. So blame the sand.”

“Ugh” Han groaned, “Karking Tatooine, why were you there anyway?”

“My dad had to kill a fallen force user, for the second time? Complicated. Anyway, I was there because the force told us I had to go. It ended up working out because that’s where Artooie and 3PO landed.”

“Did you call the droid ‘Artooie?’” Han said, raising an eyebrow. 

“Yeah it’s what Ahsoka called it back during the Clone Wars, and I think it’s fun,” Luke explained. 

“You are so weird,” Leia sighed. 

“So are you leaving soon?” Luke asked Han. 

“You want me gone, trying to send off your competition for most valuable soldier?” Han joked. Luke and Leia groaned together. 

They sat together for a bit before Leia and Han both claimed they needed to go rest so Luke wandered back to the Star Runner where La’ara was dozing off in the cargo bay.

“Are you awake?” Luke asked, kicking her leg.

She jerked up her eyes scanning her surroundings before fully noticing Luke was there.“Waiting up for you.”

“Why” Luke asked

“Because you’re your dad’s son.” She said,

Luke wasn’t sure how to take that, “So a teenage boy stays out late without letting adults know and you don’t go to sex or drugs?”

“Were you having sex or doing party drugs?” La’ara asked, standing up and pressing the button to close the bay.

“No,” Luke said and it sounded way too close to whining for his liking. 

“Hence why I worry for you.”

“What did you think I was going to do?” Luke said unable to keep the agitation out of his voice or stop it from spilling over his shields.

“Bluntly? Something stupid that would end up with you dead.”

“You think I’m suicidal?” Luke snapped. 

La’ara turned to face him eyes full of concern and she was letting her love and sadness flow into him, breaking down his anger and leaving him wanting to curl into a ball and sleep for a hundred hours.

“I don’t know Luke. But if you inherited your dad’s coping skills you are likely going to get yourself into situations you can’t handle.”

“I’m not broken,” Luke said, feeling the opposite, “Not the way he was.”

“Guess not you haven't spent a whole day in bed.”

“Also, La’ara I have you and the rest of my family on this old ship.”

“Are we enough?” La’ara asked.

“You’re worried you are not enough for me?”

“Of course. Your dad, your boyfriend, Ahsoka, and the only other Jedi? They are gone and I will never be any of those. None of us will. Even if you call Mom Acrum she’s not your mother.”

“Well, I've never had a mother. But I had four amazing women to guide and love me.”

“Thank you.” She said just above a whisper. 

Luke sighed, “I lied, I might be broken. But I have something to do La’ara I can’t fall apart until Vader and the emperor are dead and gone. You’re right I am like my buir. I’m exhausted, lonely and grief is like a wound that won’t stop bleeding.”

“Reassuring,” La’ara said dryly. 

“But I am not my dad. I won’t abandon those who need me. I know he didn’t mean to, but he scared me. I was lonely even when I was sitting next to him. I will not do that to you or to Leia I promise. I will work to be the best of him; the love, talent, and bravery. But I am not him. ”

La’ara looked uncertain but nodded her head, “Want something cold to drink?”

Luke noticed he was sweating and his face felt hot so he agreed sitting in the common area was a home he would miss when he left, another thing he didn’t get to have, a home. Maybe Skywalkers just weren’t allowed that. 

~~~~~

The next morning he made his way to the common area and had a ration bar land in his hand. Very grateful for his Jedi reflexes so he didn’t get in the face, the second time in less than a cycle. 

“Thanks,” Luke sighed and sat on the bench. 

“Are you planning on going with us, or Leia or who?” Bialla asked before Luke had even started to eat. 

“I don’t know. I don’t know if Leia would want me. She said it wasn’t my fault, but we have a Force bond, and being together only strengthens it.”

“But you need her Luke.” Alema met his eyes and gave him an intense stare, “And the galaxy needs you. But do be careful.”

“I’ve seen your Jedi-Force nonsense enough to believe in it.” Bialla said, “So if your dead grandpa told you that you're a part of some prophecy then I believe it. I don’t understand it, but I believe it. So I do think you need to do something. But Luke, don’t get yourself killed.”

How was he meant to follow what the force wanted and ‘be careful’ and ‘don’t get yourself killed’? He had known for years that he was probably going to die. It wasn’t something that particularly scared him. Plenty did scare him; his own death did not. Han and Leia dying scared him, his StarRunner family dying scared him, Ezra being dead scared him, Leia hating him scared him and failing to complete his destiny scared him. 

Most of all he was afraid of being useless.

There was nothing he could do about his fears but try to end this war as soon as possible. Prove he was good enough, had done enough.

But he didn’t know how to do it. Staying with The Runner crew would allow him to protect them but might pull him away from the front where he needed to be to find Vader. Not to mention it might actually put them in more danger. Going with Leia would allow him to help her and maybe keep him near the front but he had just realised being by her was enough to make her more unsafe made that sound selfish. Probably just asking for his own orders and staying away from everyone would be the best thing. He could save everyone and not risk their lives more. 

“I might just ask to go somewhere not with you or Leia. I can’t keep putting everyone I love in danger. I’m...I'm not good enough to keep you safe. I’m not worth the danger...”

“Ugh, you karking idiot.” La’ara cut in, “You are worth it. You don’t just abandon people you love. You told me you weren’t going to fall into a depression like your dad. Let it make you leave us alone. Running away is just as bad, kid.”

“I’m a karking magnet for Vader.” Luke yelled, “I’m not sure if he can find me, I felt him he had to have felt me.”

“We don’t care, '' Bialla and La’ara shouted at the same time.

“You should. Me and my dad showed up and put you in more danger. Not to mention how awful we must have been to deal with.”

“What is wrong with you?” Alema said sharply.

“Wrong with me?” Luke countered, “What’s wrong with you? Putting your family in danger for me.”

“Shut up.” Mom Acrum said it made all of them go quiet. She was not one to shout.

She turned and took Luke’s hand in hers, “Don’t discount our love for you silly youngling. We kept you around because you are family. Don’t cheapen our family. You're too much like your dad, and La’ara. Thinking you aren’t good enough. We would kill and die for you, and we knew your dad would, and know you would do the same for us.”

Kark that was so good to hear, but he still didn’t know what to do.

“I still don’t know where to go. Practically ya know?” Luke said, scrubbing tears from his eyes. 

“Yeah. The Runner isn’t the right place.” La’ara, “I know that. We can’t get you where you need to go anymore”

Luke stood and wandered to his cabin glad no one followed him and curled on his dad’s bunk. Sleep did come easy and once it did it was full of nightmares of screams and red blades.

Chapter Text

Han

Han tossed a ball against the wall letting it bounce back to him. It was karking exhausting dealing with the two crazy people he had acquired. He liked them both, they were very interesting and kark it, he was very curious about Leia. It was stupid to become so interested in a girl whose life was now mostly about surviving and fighting people. And of course, there was Luke who he couldn't tell if he was into Leia or not. The kid definitely wanted to be close to Leia, considering he’d dropped everything to save her instead of focusing on getting off the Death Star and was clearly trying to comfort her. But there was also part of the kid that gave off energy that Leia was not in line with the type of being he was into. 

Chewie when he’d asked if he thought Luke was into Leia had informed him he could just ask. The Wookie was always direct and wanted everything to work considering he wanted to stay with the rebellion for noble reasons. Which Han hated to be reminded of. To be honest he was starting to want to stay for both hanging out with the two wild ones he had annoyingly become attached to, as well as maybe wanting to stop the Empire. It sucked, Han spent his time trying to not be too involved with things he had no power to change. It was bad enough when he was stupid and got himself in debt to people, now he had made the Falcon a known ship linked to the rebellion. There was of course no way he would fly anything but his and Chewie’s ship; it still made it harder if they were going to take on other work.

Part of him wanted to just leave and not deal with any of this. But more of him wanted to keep Luke and Leia as safe as he could from his ship. So he was stuck. 

The ball bounced funny and Han had no energy to go pick it up. So instead he laid down and caught some sleep.

~~~~~

Han woke up later than he intended to, meaning when he got out of his ship he was wrapped up in some final checks on some ships and learned they were going to be sending many people on missions as the heat had cooled down enough and there were things to do. 

The work lasted so long and was tedious. None of them wanted to talk as everyone was on edge worried about what would come next. They all buried their heads into their work to deal with this stress. Han would prefer to deal with his nerves by losing Dejarik to Chewie while having a stiff drink. Or sex, sex was also a good way to destress But he was not going to pressure Leia, who was the only one he currently had eyes for. Ugh! Being so attached to Leia was so embarrassing. 

The work broke apart and there was finally time to go eat something. After getting his food he looked around and saw Luke and Leia at a table with R2D2 next to Luke. He sat down next to Leia who looked up at her brow scrunched.

“Where have you been?” Leia asked.

“Helping with the ships. Seems everyone has orders but me.”

“Do you want them?” Luke asked, leaning back on the bench against the wall. 

“Well as long as I get some rations to eat then yeah why not.”

“You can ask for that, yes.” Leia said, “Not much but some food and water would be possible. But you already got paid.”

“No, he didn’t,” Luke said.

Han grimaced, how the kark did he know that?

“You didn't?" Leia asked.

“They told me since Aldarran was gone it would take time to pull the money together. I told them not to bother and that I didn't really need to get paid, just let me leave with no hassle.”

“Oh. Then I think some provisions are fair.” Leia said, her cheeks flushing. 

Damn it, why was she so hot? She was a princess without a planet and now just some soldier like everyone else. Maybe more he had picked up her father was a bit of a legend. And had a direct line to the head honchos. So maybe not just some soldier, she worse she’s a soldier wearing her dad’s too-big shoes. Not to mention the mountains of bureaucracy that exposed you to. 

This analysis was affirmed when Leia was called over to where the brass was talking so he turned to look at Luke. 

“Are you into Leia?” Luke asked, his eyes narrowed and the rest of his body relaxed. 

From Han’s experience, people who could threaten you while looking calm were much more dangerous than people who were waving blasters, or laser swords. Han considered lying but was pretty sure Luke wouldn’t need his creepy mind reading to see through it. 

“Yeah, what's it to you?”

“Well, I'm not sure yet if I trust you with her. You don’t read as an active threat, not Darkside. But I just don't know you well enough to get past that.”

“You’re not also into her?”

“She’s a girl,” Luke said as the corner of his mouth twitched up. 

“So would we be having a different conversation if it was a prince instead of a princess?” Han joked, giving Luke a full smile. 

“Well no I consider Leia to be a friend, so even if she was a boy I’d still not want to date her. Now if we meet someone else as handsome as Leia, then we can fight over him.”

Han appreciated that Luke was also having humour about this. This conversation also answered his question of whether or not there was romantic tension between them. No, it was worse than liking each other, it was just the Force mumbo-jumbo 

That appreciation faded when Luke’s smile went down and he returned to staring into Han’s mind.

“Leia is important to me. And if you do anything to hurt her I will kill you. Do you understand? I am quicker on the draw of my sabre than you are on your blaster. Not to mention I have been training with it since I was big enough to hold it.”

“You’re serious?” Han asked, it was strange he was going to bat so hard for someone he barely knew.

“As serious as I've ever been” Luke stated evenly, his posture still annoyingly lazy. 

Hair was standing on his arms and his muscles tightened. Han had known some shady people and some performatively shady people. And only the people who weren't karking around  put Han on edge. Luke didn’t exactly exude that kind of danger, he'd never really seen it till then, so it might be hiding but it was good to know it was there.

It was slightly funny as Luke often seemed confused and tried not to mention he passed out multiple times in the few days he knew him. But right now he was as tough and sure of himself as any of the effective bounty hunters, drug runners or bodyguards. 

“You’d kill me even if I didn't have a blaster on?” Han asked, partially a trick question. But the answer to it told you a lot.

“I’d greatly prefer to kill you when you're on your feet, facing me and armed. I don’t believe in wanton murder Han. Everyone I've killed, or maimed, but that has been in battle.”

“What if I refuse to fight?”

“We’ll see won’t we?” Luke asked as he leaned forward and went back to eating his food. 

Han followed and ate his own food. He genuinely didn’t know what to make of this kid. He had always been strange. All things considered, the fact he had a backbone and was willing to kill him if he hurt Leia was impressive. How Luke had learned to be as frightening as the best mando bounty hunters was a story Han deeply wanted to know.

“So you're a smuggler. Do you have any good stories?” Luke asked in between bites of his sandwich. 

Han was thrown for a minute, were they just on the same wavelength or had Luke read his mind? He decided to go with it and shared stories which Luke actually listened to. He even nodded and asked questions. Most people tuned out his stories.

“You actually listened to me,” Han said, bewildered. 

“Of course I did, I’m not a shabuir, I have some degree of manners. I meant it, I will do what I must for Leia. But that doesn’t mean I want to hurt you just because I can. I grew up on the run and spent most of that time with spacers who play fast and loose with legality. That means I’m capable of violence, but also that it doesn’t mean I'm incapable of care.”

“Considering I and many of my friends are spacers who don’t follow the rules I understand. And I'm old enough to remember The Clone Wars and saw the broadcasts about the hero with no fear and the rest of the Jedi. I know the power of a Jedi soldier. And you're supposed magic powers. So I know you could kick my ass so don’t worry about that. But I do believe you're probably a nice enough guy to only cut off my head without good reason."

“You’ve seen how effective having the force is. You saw a proper Jedi and me fight and you still don’t believe me?”

“Having a good sense for fighting and owning laser swords doesn't mean it’s like real magic.” Han didn’t actually not believe there was something Luke was tapped into. What Han doubted was how powerful the force actually was. 

Luke sighed but his face wasn’t showing much. Then Han jumped as something hit the back of his head. He turned around and saw a salt shaker floating in the air. He turned to Luke who had a hand sitting on the table and gestured towards himself and the salt floated smoothly through the air before stopping neatly next to the salt shaker on their table. That didn’t really tell him much, but it did show it went past being semi psychic and dodging blaster fire. 

“Okay, so you can do some magic. But like I said I believe you can kill, so I’m good having you on my side.”

“I’ll be by your side if it’s helpful. Speaking of, where is Chewbacca?” Luke asked.

“Sleeping, he was still making new adjustments on the ship.” Changing the subject much?

“I’ve not gotten any marching orders yet.” Luke sighed, “I want to have a direction to go.”

“Well, I want to know if I'm getting a job or not. Going my own way is preferable. But if I don’t I'll make another enemy. And I’m already on questionable terms with The Huts and The Empire.”

“Blowing up their weapons will do that with the Empire. How’d you make The Huts hate you anyway? You were trying to convince them while we were escaping,” Luke asked.

“Debt.”

“Sure, that makes sense with how Huts are.” Luke scowled at the thought.

Han was still interested in this kid. He’d heard Luke call himself Neberrie which screamed core worlds, Naboo if he was right, but he believed Luke when he said he’d grown up on a ship. Han himself hadn’t, he’d chosen this life. Though he hadn’t had a lot of choices, he knew how rough many spacers had it. It seemed Like Luke was born into being a Jedi and being a smuggler, an interesting combination. He wondered what Luke would look like if he had to get into a scrap fight against people more skilled than stormtroopers.

Luke and Han were finishing up when Han’s com buzzed and Han sighed. Must be Chewiew.

“What’s up?” Han questioned.

“Come to the general's room, I have your orders,” Leia informed him. 

“Sure thing Leia,” He stood up quickly.

Han watched Luke’s eyebrow raise at how fast he’d jumped to answer Leia. He grimaced a bit before taking himself to the room.

“So you are going to run some supplies for now. You’re quick and used to using smuggler lanes. Your ship can defend itself but not enough for our current military missions. You will take Leia with you, so be on watch for when we need you again. Another base is being set up and when we get a command centre set up Leia will have to come back.”

“Sounds fine.” Han agreed, and it did, no throwing him on the front lines was all he could hope for. 

Leia gave him a faint smile, “Guess we're together Fly Boy.”

“Anytime.”

A general cleared his throat, “You will also get the asked-for provisions. For you, your Wookie friend and the princess.”

“Thanks, I'll need it.”

~~~~~

Han was glad that he and Chewie had everything fixed so they were able to rest before they headed out. Their provisions were stocked and the bed for Leia was even made up for her. It would be nice if Leia didn’t hate him right away. Chewie helped Han actually wipe surfaces down. 

Han sighed looking around, he knew that Leia had seen it when it was a mess, but if she was going to be there longer and not in the fog of her planet being blown up, he wanted it to be a bit nicer. 

Maybe this over-the-top behaviour came from the fact Luke had thrown in his face, he might not be good enough for Leia. Sure, he probably meant wanting money or something. But it made him want to do more and he hated Luke and himself for it. Though Chewie was thrilled. 

“ Do you think Leia will actually like you now,” Chewie teased. 

“Oh shut it, I just don’t want a karking fight on the first day.”

“ You just want to impress her ”

“Sure, sure

Chewie and Han went out to eat the night meal and were interrupted after sitting down by a woman with dark black hair and dark skin that had a bit of a grey tinge to it showing she was not doing so great. Her eyes were sharp though staring into him. Geez what was it with people reading his mind by staring at him? 

“You’re Han Solo, yes?” She asked.

“Who's asking.”

She rolled her eyes, “I’m Captain La’ara Acrum of the StarRunner. And I need you to come with me, we need to talk about Luke.”

Han wondered for a minute if he was about to be murdered. Though he was curious about what this lady knew and wanted. Damn, his karking need to know druk. 

They stopped next to Leia’s door and knocked. “Come in,” Leia said.

“We need to talk to you about Luke if that’s alright,” La’ara said with a respectful nod. 

The much kinder way she spoke to Leia was interesting. Was it because Leia was a girl, or because she had very recently lost everything she cared about? Leia stood up, her brown hair was out of her normal braids and buns. All she wore was a headband. Her hair hung below her hips and Han had to remind himself to focus on the possible threat of this captain and not on how attractive Leia was.  

They got to a light freighter that was a decent ship if everything was working. StarRunner was a good name for a ship like this. It was of course not as good as the Falcon. Once inside he saw three other women at a table that they had moved chairs over so they could all sit down. 

“Why are we here?” Leia asked she sounded tired but not angry. But he did clock the blaster clipped to her belt hidden under her hair. 

“We want to ask you how Luke is doing,” La’ara explained. 

“You’ve known him much longer.” Leia countered

“Of course, but he's nineteen years old. He doesn’t want to tell us anything. We’re as bad as talking about your issues with your mother.” The oldest woman said, “You can just call me Acroum”

“To be fair he was pretty open with his buir,” The Twi'lek said, “I’m Alema by the way.”

“Yes, but that was because they had their own crazy relationship. Closer than like any parent and kid I knew.” The Togruta commented. 

“Anyway!” La’ara said, clapping her hands. “We do know Luke can take care of himself. He could run this ship by himself, and his dad taught him to fix and fight anything he could ever need. Not to mention the kid’s super mind-reading and prophecies. .”

“So you need us to tell you about him, why?” Leia questioned.

Han was stuck for a moment on the word prophecies. Luke and his dad seemed to believe in fate, the whole “everything happens for a reason” karking druk. But Han had to admit, it worried him. He was pretty sure that anyone who could see the future would go insane. 

La’ara sighed, “Luke likes both of you, he wants to be your friend and The Force is telling him he is going to need you. And from a practical perspective, Leia you have connections to the people in charge of all of this being with you would be good. He needs more than what we can do right now. We are being sent on small missions. You might also be right now, but you won’t always. So what we are really asking is will you allow Luke to go with you?.”

“You could just ask like a normal person” Han sighed what a complicated way to ask a simple question, “the kid already has an open invitation to The Falcon”

“He goes where I go” Leia interjected, “And I’m sure the generals will find a use for him. They had been hiding their Jedi for a while. And it didn’t protect those Jedi nor did it help to save anybody to have them hidden away. And Luke offered to watch my back on his own accord.”

“Good, “ La’ara sighed, “He wants to be useful so I worry even if he came with us he would act stupid, but if he felt like he was working toward something he might make smarter choices. Luke is a good person but he needs help sometimes to keep his head on straight. So I guess I'm asking you all to watch him so he only gets as injured as is necessary. ”

Han sighed, it was clear these people were babying Luke. He’d seen the kid fight and be extremely threatening. Sure kid might be a tad bit insane but so were most of the people in the rebellion. He could see that Luke would do well with someone to watch his back. Han would be dead without Chewie, so he knew that being alone did not always work out well. But he didn’t like these women going behind Luke's back, he was smart enough to make his own choices. As long as he didn’t faint too much Luke was going to be fine. 

“So you think he needs a babysitter?” Leia said, crossing her arms and tilting her head. 

“Look” La’ara started then to a second to breathe before continuing, “Luke has been through a lot, and I worry about how he is going to react right now. Like I said I think just by having his goals closer to him then what we can do will keep him moving towards shit and not shutting down.”

“I’ve lost a lot, I've lost my karking planet. Luke has lost nothing compared to that, and I know what I have to do.” Leia snapped.

“And what’s your plan after you've finished?” La’ara questioned, her voice sharp, “When the revenge is done and you can’t run on hate anymore, what then Princess?”

Leia faltered a moment, “What does that have to do with anything?”

“You say you’ve lost more than our boy, which yes you lost a planet. So you should know what I’m talking about even more so. So don't you? You’ve set yourself to finish the Job. So has Luke. But having that goal isn’t enough. Being willing to die isn’t enough.”

Han didn’t need the force to feel the pain and anger pouring off both women. He very much wanted to leave and the rest of the crew looked about as one edge and hoping there was not about to be a showdown. 

“I’m not going to die. I’m going to destroy the Empire, and then I will build a new Republic. I’m going to survive, Vader does not get to wipe my story out of the galaxy as he did to my people. ”

“Well then good, I’m glad you have an after but I don't think Luke has an after the Empire. ”

“I know,” Leia said quietly. 

Han thought about it for a moment, what were they talking about? He understood some of it, he’d spent most of his life directionless. The princess was anything but that, but he didn’t get the kark around and find out nature from Luke either. But this conversation did show that Han hadn’t been wrong about Luke being willing to throw himself in front of a blaster. 

“So,” Han said awkwardly, “What all this comes down to is you want us to offer to take Luke with us?”

“Yes,” La’ara sighed. “But...just be good to him, okay? He’s as messy as anyone but he’s good.”

“Of course,” Leia said haughtily, “ We won’t treat him like a child. We'll let him do what he needs.”

All of the StarRunner crew smiled at this. “You can’t expect us not to. He started travelling with us when he was just a youngling.” Alema said. 

“So if you ever need some funny Luke stories to embarrass him with com us, okay?” The Togruta said with a lopsided smile. 

Han was glad when they said goodbye and he and Leia could leave. When they made it to Leia’s room before he could leave her, she dragged him in and let out a loud groan.

Not sure what to do, he pushed his hands in his pockets, “You okay Princess?”

“No,” Leia said, still too loud, “How dare they presume to know anything about me, or my loss, or my grief.”

“I don’t think they were trying to be mean.” 

“So? Luke hasn’t been through what I have!”

“Leia,” Han sighed, “All the Jedi are gone. And for someone with a last name from Naboo, he sure talks like someone who spent most of his life in the outer rim, not to mention Hutt space.”

“Han,” She said, her voice tired

Kark dealing with these crazy people might kill him before Jabba did. 

“Look, I’m not saying it’s the same as having your planet blown up. My point is that they have every right to protect their own. He’s been through a lot and like they said he's their kid. Give them a break.”

Leia sighed and her shoulders dropped and she sat on her bunk,

“You’re right, I wasn't thinking clearly. I still think they were karking out of line to assume I feel the same way Luke does. But they are just being protective, and he does have very little self-esteem. From the time we left the Death Star, I could tell he wasn’t totally with it, fragile even.”

“He threatened me that if I was mean to you he’d kill me.”

Leia smiled, “A bomb is just as fragile as glass.”

Han shook his head but returned her smile, “Yeah that’s true.”

“You wanna tell him or should I?” Leia questioned. 

“Stay here, Luke doesn’t need you to blow up at him, he’s not responsible for his Captain being overprotective.”

“I’m not mad at him!”

“Yeah, but I’ll be a bit more calm with our fragile bomb.”

She nodded and laid back on her bed. Han let out a breath as he went looking for Luke. Han found him lying flat on the ground in the hangar bay.

“You good kid?”

“No, but yes, ya know?” Luke said noncommittally, waving his hand. 

“Sure. But I wanted to tell you I want you as a part of my crew on the Falcon. Leia does too, and Chewie is fond of you too.

“Are you sure? I might put you guys in danger, especially Leia.”

“She knows I offered and is fine with it. She wants you to come actually. ‘He goes where I go’ I believe is what she said.”

“Okay.” Luke said slowly, “You know I might cramp your style, I’m not very much fun.”

“I’ll make you have fun.” Han smiled, “You and the princess. You’ve both had a severe lack of fun in your lives.”

“I enjoy fighting Stormtroopers”

“There is more to life than this rebellion.”

Luke frowned, “Yes, but people won’t get to have it until we finish this.”

“Good thing I also like fighting,” Han sighed.

Luke reached his hand out to Han who helped him to his feet. Luke probably didn’t need help up, but the gesture spoke loudly. 

Chapter Text

Leia

Packing up her stuff, which wasn’t much, felt like another ending. She had more than she should have after only recently being a prisoner of war. The people here had clothes and dresses made for her that apparently her mother had said to be sent to command. When she’d first gotten there she hadn’t even questioned before why there were clothes in her cabin. But she was grateful. Three fancy dresses and four sets of clothes were made for working. And she was also thankful for some hair supplies, she didn’t want to cut it all off. 

But having it here made her wonder if her mother feared the destruction of their home or knew that Leia would eventually not be able to go home. She couldn’t have believed that the entire planet would be blown up. But worrying about bombers on Alderaan blowing up the royal palace would have been a safe bet. Thinking Leia would eventually not be able to pretend she wasn’t a rebel and therefore unable to go home was also a good bet.

Damn it, her mom had loved her so much. And it made Leia want to break into sobs, but she did her best to hold together. Holding back her tears was hard. She had to stuff her feelings down, she couldn’t deal with them.

She had been angry, that she hadn’t been able to hide, she was angry about her loss, angry at the people being nice to her. It felt wrong to be happy during the war, it felt horrible to be lost in grief. Then there was the fear, she didn’t even want to notice the fear. But she knew it was what was under the anger. She was terrified about everything and that made her want to lash out even more. Anger at least showed a degree of strength. 

Finishing up by throwing her toiletries in a dopp kit she carried them to the Flacon where Chewbacca and Han were yelling at each other. 

“What’s up flyboy?” Leia said as she walked up the ramp into the ship.

"Not much princess just getting the castle ready" He joked with a silly grin on his face. 

Oh, kark she thought as her cheeks flushed. It was very annoying that she might like Han flirting with her. She didn’t even know what to do with the bubble of excitement in her stomach. Dating people hadn't been something she'd ever been interested in. She'd thought plenty of men and women were attractive. But that didn't make any of this okay! She did not want to do anything like that when Han could die on her anytime. 

She stored her bag under one of the passenger bunks leaving space for Luke’s bag. It was going to be strange to be in tight corridors with a boy. Luke didn’t strike her as the kind to flirt with her, and she believed him when he said he wasn’t into her that way. She was glad that Chewbacca had moved to share with Han, mostly because she didn’t want Wookie fur in her eyes more than was strictly necessary, and it was funny to imagine Han & Chewbacca sharing a bunk. 

Leia felt surprised when she felt Luke coming toward the ship. It surprised her for two reasons; it was the first time she was made to really be aware of their bond thing but also because he felt furious. It surprised her that he sounded calm when greeting Han and Chewbacca. His feet didn’t stomp on the ground and then he looked peaceful when he joined her in the cabin. 

“How are you?” He said.

“How are you doing that?” Leia asked at the same time.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re boiling rage but you seem calm. Somethings wrong.”

“Jedi have to be in control at all times. We’re dangerous if we aren’t.” Luke said his head tilted and he rocked on his feet.

“The bond thing, I can tell you aren’t happy.”

“I’m not controlling my shields enough. I let them drop when I left the Runner. I was too angry to care. Sorry, I should have considered your feelings.”

“Okay, sure. But why are you so mad?” Leia asked.

They could talk about Force bonds later, she was worried. Starting the flight with a pissed-off fighter on board could go poorly. And she did like him. It was annoying but it was true, she cared for him. 

“I realised you are taking me with you because La’ara and the others asked you.”

“Captain La’ara did ask. But I want you here.”

“Why?”

Leia faltered, that was a good question. Why did she want him there? Was it the bond? Well probably that somewhat. But it just felt like a karking cop-out for him to leave. Like he was giving up on her. Like losing someone else. She needed to be focused on the war but it still made her heart hurt to imagine him going away. Han and Chewbacca were cool and all. But it was different Han was hitting on her, and while flirting with him was generally fun it made the connection awkward. She had only learned a few words in Shyriiwook that she had learned in a history project. With those two she would have been painfully alone.

“I don’t want to be lonely,” Leia admitted. 

Luke sighed and sat next to her, “I understand feeling lonely. And I guess I should believe you don’t want me to leave considering when I offered to leave you alone you tried to sock me in the jaw.”

“You karking deserved it. I don't need your guilt or sadness, I have my own.”

“I can’t promise you I won't be emotional, or that the bond might cause us to share emotions. But I will work to keep my shields up higher. And not put my osik on you.”

“Osik?”

“Dung or poop but like rude”

“Oh, guess I get to learn new swear words.” Leia gave him a tentative smile.

“Language is something I'm quite good at. Well when it comes to speaking, as we’ve discussed, my reading isn’t great.”

“I understand Luke, I shouldn't have insulted you before. Though funnily you are still more mad now than I think you were then."

“Oh I was plenty angry, but I was also embarrassed, tired and ashamed. So it wouldn’t come across as easily comprehensible in our bond. With time though if we use it we will be able to pick up the nuances “

“Why were you ashamed? I mean I could see embarrassment, I put you on the spot. But was it bad enough to make you feel ashamed?” Leia fretted as her face burned. She hadn’t meant to hurt him. 

“No, it wasn’t your fault." Luke looked straight at her his eyes were deeply earnest. “I was ashamed of my anger. I try to not let anger rule me, as I said if I want to do this from anger, I’ll be lost in the dark.”

“This dark side, what does it really mean?”

“Oh, it’s coldness, rage, control and trying to be in charge of what you can’t even understand. It’s historically led to mass violence. Not that the Jedi never hurt people or didn’t make mistakes. Being on the light side doesn’t mean you’re perfect, Force knows we have karked up badly. But the light is still choosing to make the choice that does the most good. Choosing to care about others. The dark side makes you make the worst choice your emotions draw you to. When you invite it in, you lose your balance. ”

Leia nodded, “Vader and the Death Star ?”

“Exactly. Did you feel cold around Vader?”

“Yes, I mean the station was cold inside but it definitely felt overwhelming. But I was burning with fear and rage, so I didn't quite get overwhelmed by it.”

“That’s impressive. I don't think I could stand close to Vader without feeling like my bones turned to ice.”

Leia nodded, Luke said nothing else and Leia did not want to sit there awkwardly after their intense conversation. She let out a loud breath and stood up. 

“I’m going to check on Han and Chewbacca.”

Walking to the ramp she felt her own body going faster than she intended and had to force herself to breathe. Talking with Luke often felt like she was going to explode. He didn’t seem to be great at casual conversation, though nor was she. At least when she wasn’t manipulating other people. Han might be good for them to have around if he remembered to kark about something she had been told her teens and early twenties should include.

The ramp was being closed up when she got there.

“Hey princess, why are you looking so upset? Is my ship not up to your standards?” Han said, turning to face her. 

“No, Luke and I were talking.”

“Say no more kid’s weird.”

“Maybe. But we decided to like him anyway.”

“Yeah, Yeah, he's fun. Like we said he’s a bomb, but I'm a fan of explosions.”

Chewbacca talked to Han pulling a cart with a few provisions boxes on. All she caught was ‘finished’ so she backed up as Han closed everything off. She was surprised to see two droids at the base of the ramp. Not any two droids, her droids. 

“What are the droids doing here?” Han asked.

R2 let out a series of beeps 

“R2 says we are considered most useful to the Princess and Master Luke.”C3PO translated. 

Han sighed and then turned to his com.“We’re ready for takeoff.” 

“Hurry up R2,” C3PO said as they boarded the ship. 

Han turned to Leia and said, “Let the kid know what’s going on, you might want to come to the front and strap in for takeoff.”

Leia did what he said and brought Luke to the front who stopped when he saw R2 and his face lit up with joy. It was sweet. 

Once strapped in, Han got cleared for takeoff and they left the base. Leia’s stomach did a flip and not because of the ship, but instead because in her bones she knew that this was not going to be easy. Between the weird dynamics of Luke's intensity and Han’s flirting, Leia was karked. Though this might be where she was meant to be, or it could blow up in her face.

~~~~~

Leia hid in the cabin for a while before coming out when Han shouted food at the top of his lungs. 

All of them were seated around a table and a Dejarik board-turned place to eat. She sat and saw some of the dried veggies and fruit had been rehydrated and some bread that was clearly part of rations. It was nice the fruit and veggies would have to be used sparingly after this, but it was their first meal as a team so it made sense. 

“What’s wrong with you Leia?” Han asked. 

“Do you mean currently or existentially?” She joked.

Han sighed but gave her half a smile, “Currently. I can’t help with life and death.”

“I’m just worried about us actually accomplishing our missions.”

“Well, I'm as good a pilot and smuggler as you could find. Chewie and I can hack it.” Han said smoothly. 

“And I've been working with the rebellion for years. I’ve run missions, and before that, we smuggled too. Dad forbade them from doing spice for a while, too much heat. But we’ve moved a lot of crazy things and had to fight to survive. I’m not on new ground.” Luke added.

“I know that. But this is going to escalate. I mean there The Empire put out bounties for you both and your ships.”

“They don’t know our faces.” Luke pointed out.

“Doesn't matter.” Leia said, shaking her head, “Not to mention Han as Hutt space bounties are already out on him, ship included there as well.”

“I’ve been dogging bounty hunters my whole adult life, Leia. It’s fine. As long as a Mando isn’t after me I should be fine.” Han reassured 

Leia sighed, they really were so nonchalant about all of this. Fighting this war was not easy, it wasn’t an adventure! They might be doing something basic now. But she knew that wasn’t going to last, she and Luke were important, or more so useful. Ha, she sounded like Luke.

“Fine, whatever. But when things become more dangerous than your silly missions I hope you know I told you so.” Her voice was all sharp edges and her body tightened. She wasn’t even really sure she was even angry at them. But it was all so much. 

“Leia,” Luke said quietly, “I know things aren’t going to be simple. For me to take down Vader we can’t just run around bringing supplies. But don’t worry about us okay? We can handle ourselves.”

Looking into his eyes, Leia could see and feel kindness. Her breathing evened out and her muscles loosened. She let out a breath she hadn’t noticed she’d been holding. 

“Did you do something, Luke?” She questioned. 

“I was trying to calm myself down, and I wanted you to be okay. So I think my focus on calming my emotions went to you too. I didn't mean to use the Force on you.”

“Like you said about your shields?”

“Exactly. And at least it was me trying to calm myself down and not do anything dangerous.”

“I don’t want you in my head in any way!” Han said.

Luke had a mischievous look on his face and said, “If I’m going to be in you Han it will be totally different, and you’d like it.”

Han looked shocked then burst out laughing and Leia smiled exasperated. That might have been the most boy thing he’d said since he met her. 

~~~~~

A week had passed and they had spent most of the time keeping the ship from falling apart. The Falcon was perpetually broken somehow even after all that time docked when it should have gotten in better shape. So R2, 3PO and Luke were doing repairs while Chewbacca and Han yelled about what the problem was. It was charming in its own way full of swears and bad jokes.

On the downside, it had kept them all sleepless. She knew Luke and Han were also likely dead on their feet. Things were working well enough that someone needed to sleep. She told Han and Chewbacca to choose which one of them would stay up, they drew lots and landed on Chewbacca. 

Leia grabbed Luke and all but yanked him to their cabin.

“I can stay up with Chewbacca.” Luke protested

“We’re in hyperspace Luke if something can capture us in Hyperspace we have much bigger problems than whatever small thing broke. Plus the droids will be up as well.”

“But...”

“You grew up with some pretty opinionated women. So you know we win these kinds of arguments.”

Luke groaned loudly but acquiesced. They both brushed their teeth and Leia started to undo her braids.

“I like your hair,” Luke said.

“Thank you. You on the other hand could use a haircut. I know how to cut hair. I'll help you out right now you look like a shaggy wolf,” Leia joked as she finished the first braid and moved to the second. 

“Where’d you learn to cut hair?”

The image of her beautiful mother passed through her head. Her hands tightened on her hair and she felt her body go stiff. 

“My mother,” She said, her voice sounding dead.

“I’m sorry. I never paid enough attention to learn but between my buir and the Runner Crew someone eventually trimmed it.” Luke said awkwardly. 

“That’s nice. I’m glad you have them.” 

“I am very lucky to have found people who love me for me. But you can build that too, Leia. I promise.”

“That The Force or just being sentimental?”

“Well, I guess sentimentality, but not just frivolity. More so I’m trying to be your friend. If you decide to let me tag along with you then you’re going to have to let me be your friend.”

Leia groaned loudly. This weird karking boy was so kind and persistent. Her family had been fond of stubbornness. Stubbornness was what kept the Organa family fighting almost as much as their ideological and altruistic reasons. You couldn’t do what they had done without a little bit of it being saying no when a yes would have been easier. 

Luke’s expression was so open his blue eyes shone with earnestness.

“Okay, we can be friends.”

“Good, because if you want to keep me around you have to suffer my affection” Luke’s smile lit up the room and she couldn't help but smile. 

As soon as the smile had come up she felt a stab in her heart. The smile on her parents' face came into her mind and it felt like she was dying. 

Damn, it wasn’t fair. She wanted her parents back. 

Kark, she was so tired. Her hands fell from her hair. It was just too karking much. Leia realised she was sobbing and that Luke had let her fall into hi's shoulder. He was running his hand through her hair. 

She slid into Luke’s lap and let herself feel.

Chapter Text

Luke

Leia sobbed for a long time before sitting up and bumping her head on the top bunk.

“I’m sorry.” She said quietly

“Don’t apologise Leia. Be as sad as you need to be.”

“I thought Force Users have to be in control of their emotions.”

Luke shrugged, “Sadness is fine, grief doesn’t automatically push you over the edge”

“Why?”

“Hate, anger, trying to control the uncontrollable. Those are the problems in the long run.”

“Do you let yourself grieve?”

Luke half smiled, he did grieve? He’d been born grieving . Not because he’d been an orphan by biology, but because his buir had never spent a day not grieving. 

“I know grief Leia, we are old companions.”

“Really?” there was a challenge in her voice.

Luke bared his teeth. He didn't know where she was going. Her force signature was still located in grief; anything hiding underneath would take time and work to be able to read. And he wasn’t sure he had the energy to fight her. 

“Losing a karking planet isn’t the only thing to grieve Leia.” Luke snarked. 

She returned the aggression, “Yes but it’s more than you could ever imagine."

“Why are you fighting me on who’s suffered the most?”

Leia curled in on herself, “I guess, well, because there aren’t many people left to grieve Alderaan. I have to grieve for all of the people who are gone.”

“I’m sorry Leia. Can’t we just both hurt together and help each other? Instead of fighting.”

Luke could have compared scars. His family was just as gone as hers, and his culture of being a Jedi was close to gone. They had been eradicated through violence just like hers. But he didn’t want to fight over this. He knew he could build more Jedi up faster than she could Alderaanians, there would never be another one of her planets. But that didn’t mean Luke wasn’t just as karked up and lost as she was. He was walking the line of giving up, of letting himself be swallowed whole. 

Taking both of his hands in hers, Leia held on tightly. She looked at him and said, “I am sorry for what you have lost too. Grief hurts.”

Those words and the feeling of her force signature reaching for his heart calmed his heart and loosened his shoulders. He was glad that they weren’t fighting anymore. Luke met her eyes and he let his shield fall enough to send warmth and let her know he was okay. 

She gave him a small smile and Luke could feel the melancholic nature of her feelings. But he also felt fire. It was something his dad had said about him and his father. About them both having fire in them. But he didn’t feel that anymore everything ate at him even after winning a fight. 

There was something about his recent experiences that had just been too much. Leia though, even after the Death Star, still had it. And Luke hoped it never went out. 

“Let’s sleep, okay?” Luke said.

“Yes. You look like death warmed over.”

Luke held back a grimace at the statement Leia looked as bad as he did, meaning the walking dead. With a sight, he got on the other bunk and let himself fall asleep.

~~~~~

“Luke, Luke!”

He heard his name but his eyes still showed him the image of his dad dying and feeling the chunk of him taken out. He told himself to say something to act but his body felt too heavy and his voice choked in his throat.

“Luke Naberie!” His name was shouted and he felt something on his shoulder. 

Jumping up, breathing hard and looking around Luke was reminded he was in the Falcon, his sister looking at him brow furrowed. 

“Sorry, you were having nightmares,” Leia said, her voice quiet now.

“Oh, thanks,” Luke said, moving to slide down the ladder.

Leia gave him a nod, “My mom always asked me if I wanted to talk about it.”

“We don’t have to Leia. Like you said, you don’t need my grief and guilt.”

“I’m offering this time, I told you I do care. And I don't think you’re being overly dramatic this time.”

“I’m usually overly dramatic?” Luke said, feeling a smile spread across his face as his feet hit the ground.

“Look, drama is something I'm very good at. Have you seen my wardrobe and hairstyles?”

“Sure. So I guess this is a ‘takes one to know one’ type situation?” 

“Exactly.” Leia agreed, “But still, you can talk to me, no matter how dramatic we are.”

Luke mulled over if he wanted to tell her or not. He was worried they might get into a battle of who had lost more again. Luke wanted to talk about it though. Get it out of his head, even if just for a second. 

“My dad dying, being unable to help.”

“Kriff. I’m sorry Luke.”

Luke hummed as she sat down still holding his gaze

 “I know I've been...abrasive...but I want my care to be just as important.” Leia said sadness flowing through their bond.

The admission she had been hurtful meant a lot. He’d been annoying and rude when he was hurting as well. Not to mention some pretty spectacular meltdowns. The mournful calm she projected into the force made him feel close to her. 

“I appreciate that Leia. I know your whole life has been destroyed. So I can deal with some abrasive words.”

“You’re a good man, you know that?”

“I’m glad someone sees me as a man. The Runner crew still think I’m the eight-year-old kid who jumped on their ship. And Han calls me a kid.”

“Well, I don't actually know how old you are, to be honest. I just wanted to be nice.” Leia said awkwardly.

“I’m nineteen,” Luke explained.

“No kriff me too!’ Leia said excitedly. 

Luke held back a whine. Kriff, he was giving away too much information. 

“We’re here.” Han’’s voice called. 

The universe doing him a solid Han’s announcement got him out of a stressful conversation. He did not have the energy for conversations he had to play a game in. But smuggling possibly fighting some imps sounded great, he didn’t have to think much to do that. His muscle memory would kick in, and having an agent of the rebellion and two seasoned vets of the trade. 

Getting out and making their way to the drop spot no one really spoke. Han pushed the floating sledge to push the contraband back to the ship. It wasn’t out of the ordinary in a dock and warehouses. And Luke didn’t even have to think because Leia led them through unnecessarily labyrinthian streets and alleys. 

The dead drop was thankfully there and easy to load. Luke used the force so no one had to even lift things meaning they didn’t even have to get sore only numb feet from walking so much. 

Everything could have been nice had shit not gotten real.

Once they were about to board the ship he heard a noise that was either comforting or made his blood run hot. A lightsaber igniting . 

“Kenobi’s Padawan, am I right?” An Inquisitor said.

Luke sighed and turned to face him. “What do you want?”

“We felt the force change. And the only person with that degree of waves in the force is you.”

“Good..good,” Luke muttered and brought his lightsaber from the clip on the back of his belt as he moved in front of the others, lighting his blade “I would like you all to get on the ship, I can handle this,” 

“Oh yes, protect your friends.” The man stopped, “No you are just trying to hide something.”

“What am I hiding?” Luke moved slowly, annoyingly none of his new crew went inside the ship. 

They weren’t used to battle like this. An inquisitor might not be as skilled as someone like his dad or Vader. But they were faster and usually smarter than stormtroopers. If you hadn't fought a force user before you were in for an ass beating. 

“One of your friends is like you aren’t they?”

Luke’s heart started to pound. He could handle these pitiful inquisitors but he could not handle Leia ever becoming a target. Kark Organa had been right; she should have stayed karking away from him. 

“I don’t know what you're talking about.” Luke commented not turning he shouted to his friend, “And I told you three to get on the karking ship.”

“Aww sounds like you're not the captain here. Your J edi skills are not enough?”

The man spat the word Jedi like it made him sick. Luke could feel genuine disgust flowing off this guy. He wasn’t angry or prideful; he didn't hate Luke. All the man felt was revulsion. Well it didn't change much, it was still a strong enough emotion to cloud the inquisitor's judgement, but would add strength to his blows which sucked.

“Kid you sure?” Han cut into his thoughts.

“Yes. You just add another target for me to worry about.”

Luke felt Chewie and Han’s force signatures fade, just a bit of their signatures blocked by the ship’s metal but Leia stayed next to him.

“It’s the girl. Good to know. But she feels like a fledgling. You on the other hand seem like you will be fun, almost as good as a proper force user.”

Luke couldn’t hold back a snort. Most inquisitors weren’t even proper practitioners of the Dark Side. He’d heard plenty of stories from his dad and knew Vader had killed many well-trained Jedi. There were better practitioners of the dark side, people who were better at reading and utilising the force. This one was not that, the way he didn’t even make Luke properly cold told him that.

The man looked at Leia in a way that made Luke’s hair stand on end even if he wasn't strong in the Dark Side he was still dangerous to someone who had not fought a Dark Side user hand to hand before. 

His body moved instinctually. The mere idea Leia could get hurt and it would be his fault made him have to act. 

Luke used an Ataru jump and landed on his other side bringing his attention away from Leia. Using the force to pull him towards Luke. 

Impressively the Inquisitor shifted his force allowing him to break Luke’s hold and he brought his sabre up. 

The stupid thing started to spin. Luke found that style of sabre gauche of the highest order. Handle your blade like you were connected to it, like you bonded with it, or you didn’t deserve it. He probably hadn’t even bled it himself. 

They moved around the hangar bay Luke could tell he had a bastard form of Ataru. Luke moved into Djem So. He needed this to be over fast, making the utilisation of Soresu unhelpful. His opponent did seem like he was going to lose control eventually. The fast flipping and jumping kept Luke on his toes but nothing about the movements actually showed good control. It was like someone who hadn’t taken the time to teach him fundamentals just going for a form that could easily tire opponents who also had not been taught how to conserve energy. 

Djem So was working though, he was fighting back enough to keep the other fighter moving, not allowing either of them to fully break up. But the usage would hopefully force errors before Luke started losing his fundamentals. 

The inquisitor's acrobatic movements became sloppy allowing Luke to have an advantage.

The fight took more time than he’d like but still Luke was moving with precision so he’d take it. The wild movements allowed Luke to herd him into a corner. He made to move and Luke pushed him hard with The Force banging him into the wall.

Luke sliced his sword arm off and kicked the legs out from under his opponent. 

The Inquisitor was snow flat on his back and Luke could see the cut on the arm The Inquisitor still had was oozing blood. and his eyes unfocused from the pain and hitting his head on the rock-hard ground. 

Both men’s breathing was fast, even if not a particularly hard fight, moving around for so long and relying so hard on The Force made Luke’s body feel sore. Anticipating attacks also took brain power and Luke had been low earlier anyway. Though at least it made him use his lightsaber skills and The Force, keeping him in practice. 

He was brought back to the moment as the smell of burnt flesh made him gag. Lightsabers cut clean sure but they don't take away the smell of seared body parts and sweat at the end of a fight. Luke tasted metal in his mouth mixed with stomach acid. He noted the cuts through the fabric of the other man's clothes were now soaked in blood. The red colour of his blood matched that of the blade that had fallen beside him. 

The scents and sights were bad enough but the fear, anger and pain of his opponent caused his brain to itch as it banged at his shields. 

He should probably kill this man thinking it made his breathing speed back up. Luke hated killing, but it might be necessary he couldn’t let him report Leia. 

Speaking of, Leia came up next to him.

“What’s happening?” Leia asked worriedly. 

The Inquisitor used his non-sword hand to raise a blaster and shot Leia in the shoulder before Luke noticed. 

There was no hesitation when Luke pushed his lightsaber through the Inquisitor's heart and then cut off his head for good measure. Energy moved through his body at a pace that made him dizzy. He was still able to turn to Leia who was biting the inside of her cheek to keep from anyone hearing her cry. But the tears on her cheek and the horror showing in her eyes told him she was in a lot of pain.

Lifting her by her non-hurt side Luke and Leia moved awkwardly on the ship and closed the ramp. Luke and Leia both yelled to take off. 

“Do we have bacta patches?” Leia asked, wincing at every word.

The blast hadn’t gone all the way through the shoulder which would have required more than they had. But it was a nasty burn and the edges of the wound were bleeding. He could fix it even if the second round of the nauseating smell of burning flesh and blood was making him want to vomit. He felt like he was spinning, staring at the charred flesh. When it's on someone on his side it is even harder to view the black flakes and red spider webs in the wound. 

It was treatable that didn't mean Luke however did not know where there were first aid supplies. 

Han thankfully showed up with a med kit and Luke saw him wince at the scene in front of him. He pulled the bacta patches out and grimaced that they were far from new, it would take longer with these for her to heal. 

“Y'all look like Sith hells,” Han muttered, passing Luke a hypospray labelled pain. “You are not allergic to anything, are you Leia?”

“No,” Leia said.

Luke injected her first, realising they were going to have to pull her shirt down with its high collar. Luke turned to Han and told him to turn around. Han actually did with no comment. The restraint being shown in not making a funny comment spoke highly of his captain. 

Then he was able to work on making the bacta patch sit right. After Leia and Luke together got the top of her dress up he told Han that he could turn back around. 

Han offered to carry her to bed which she almost refused before she stood up and wanted to sit down again. The pain medication and the fact she had just suffered a major burn were apparently stronger than her pride which Luke was extremely grateful for. 

As he stood to stand Luke realised he had cuts up and down his legs. Which sucked mainly because he was going to have to find new pants. 

It took a while to use the anti-infection spray on them and hissed as he did it. He used regular dressings though. No burns or very deep cuts the bacta needed to be saved for real emergencies. 

Luke limped to their cabin biting her lip to the point he had a fresh flow of iron taste into his mouth. Chewbacca was hovering at the edge of the cabin looking at what Luke learned was the Wookie equivalent to awkwardness.

“I got Leia Chewie. You can go rest, I think you need it.” 

Chewbacca answered in a way that Luke was pretty sure was grateful. It at least wasn’t rage or fear as he was sure that he would feel in the force. Chewbacca was hard to read though. Like he had rudimentary shields. Luke did not have time to think that through as he turned to look at his sister.

Her hair was pulled back loosely, not having had time to do anything fancy before they had to complete their mission. Thankfully her face wasn’t in pain as she lay on the opposite shoulder.

Suddenly Luke was filled with a high degree of panic. What if it had been a stronger blaster and gone straight through? What if she had gotten sliced with a blade? What if it had been just a bit more to the left and injured her heart? It was too much what-ifs.

Calming his breath as best he could, Luke thought of the word sister. It filled his brain to the exclusion of all else until the face of Vader swam into his view and he was reminded of his purpose. Saving the galaxy was what mattered. It's what he was meant to do; he really wasn't good for anything else. 

That had to include Leia. And she deserved to know her heritage. It might hurt her, but could he really die without telling her? Was that fair? Did he want to? It was selfish but he didn’t want this secret to stand between them. Whatever time they had together should be honest. If she hated him, that was fine. 

But he’d been told not to. He wasn’t supposed to, and Luke generally did as he was told. Being with his dad was the safest place in the galaxy! And Organa was a good man, Luke knew that. Did he still have to do what they said though, they were both dead now? His dad hadn’t reached out to him since the Death Star and Qui Gon had abandoned him too. Did it matter anymore what they thought? But it, it did. He and his dad had fought and made mistakes, but in the end, his dad always knew what to do.

He had to tell her just had to.

Luke was glad when Leia woke up she was still groggy so he changed the patch and let her go back to sleep. Even if he did want to talk to her, it felt like it was going to be an extremely hard task.

The next time she woke up she was lucid. Still let Luke change the patch no question but then met his eyes.

“Why did you try and send me away?”

“Because none of you have been in a hand-to-hand fight with a force user. Nonetheless one with training. He wasn’t that good but I'm sure his deflection blaster bolts would have been enough to make him a threat. Not to mention He realised you had the force, Leia. If he had gotten his hands on you it would have been so bad.” Wow, good job he’d not told her it was because of his complicated relationship with his dead family.

“That...is actually pretty logical. If you have untrained hands trying to help you fight it might lead to worse things.”

“Yes.”

“Okay. So now people can tell in face-to-face situations I’m force sensitive?”

“Only people who are also force sensitive. So not very many. We should check for tracers that might be on the ship. But he didn’t get any info back to The Empire; he was too dead for that.”

“Were you going to kill him? If he hadn’t shot me?”

Luke paused, of course, he thought about it. He’d known death, but that is why it’s hard, isn’t it? Because he’d felt it and it chipped away at him. Forcing through it had to happen often. And that usually made it easier. Could he just push through? But dealing with it now made him feel sick. Maybe it was just everything with the Death Star. Kark.

“I’m not sure. I was taught killing can be necessary but it is bad. And it is bad Leia. Killing fucks your mind up enough if you're normal. But we can feel death, Leia. You will too once you get in tune enough. It doesn't matter even if you are not facing them. The feeling of death sticks to you. My dad said to never stop feeling it. When you don’t feel it anymore, well something has gone wrong.”

“Okay, I understand.” She paused then took his face in her hand gently pulling his face to meet her eyes. “Luke, I hope next time you kill him without hesitating. You can’t let them report back to The Empire.”

“Okay, Leia I will.”

“For me? just like that? No moral or practical debate.”

“I would do anything I can for Leia.”

“Why?” Leia said softly, dropping her hand from his cheek.

“Twofold. One because you're smart and understand complicated situations that involve people than me, you understand how these systems work. And, because you are my sister.” Luke said and then held his breath. He’d done it.

“That’s very sweet Luke...”

“No, I mean it literally. Your father and my dad. Told me about you a long time ago.”

Leia stiffened, “You’re not lying.”

“No.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? Why did I have to get shot for you to tell me?”

“Because I realised I had to. I was told it could be dangerous for you. You heard him, I'm a known entity when it comes to force users. And I know Vader felt me at the Death Star. I can’t make things better than that. I’m sorry.”

“You did what you thought was best, well you're wrong. I deserve to know that I have living relatives.”

“I know.”

“Kark you Luke.” She kicked him, “Get out”

Luke felt his heartbreak. And he didn’t even realise there was enough left in him to still break.

Chapter Text

Leia

Leia let out a strangled noise and stomped on the ground. Futile movements and noises kept coming from her. It was like her body had gone haywire and it hurt. 

She wanted to punch Luke, make him know for sure he had hurt her and that he could never do anything like this again. At the same time, she wanted to find him, hug him, and never let him go. Hot angry tears burned her face. There was nothing okay about this, she deserved to know! Luke was her blood family, not just someone she cared about. Also of course they were attached in The Force, they were karking twins. 

Luke knew who her birth parents were. Where they were from, their names, maybe what they liked! She craved to just know anything. There was probably a reason that her parents had never told her about them, something weird, probably. 

At nineteen it was only fair that she got to know. She was never going to be safe until the Empire was destroyed anyway. How could he think they were doing anything to keep her safe? All he had done was hurt her. Why did everything have to keep hurting? Why couldn’t something go right for once and let her take a break from her life being in upheaval? 

Remembering the look on Luke’s face as he told it made the anger even more confusing. He was so earnest. And she definitely believed if he’d been told not to tell her then that would be hard for him to do. Not to mention he probably thought it was against The Force or whatever to endanger her. 

And Kark it, she wanted him to come back. So she could cry again while he held her. Luke could help her clean the blaster burn. So her brother could tell her everything he knew about being a Naberrie. She wanted nothing more than to know everything. 

How dare he make her so confused. She wanted to just be angry; this would all be easier if she didn’t crave his love.

Of course, she had cared for him before she knew this and would have continued to. (unless he turned out to be a spy or a serial killer or something). She didn’t need them to be blood, her parents hadn’t been, but this was still massively important. Because he would connect her to more of her family. She would have access to more stories and someone living and breathing to hold on to who could tell them. There would be history for her to connect to that she had always wanted. 

Sith Hells this wasn’t fair. To be so hurt and want that same person to comfort her. 

The door swished open and Han stood and knocked on her wall.

“Yes come in,” Leia said Looking at her feet.

“You and Jedi boy get into a fight.”

“Sort of,” Leia said softly.

“You’re shoulder okay? I know that sometimes blaster burns need to be taken care of when you have bacta that is slightly past its use-by date.”

Leia huffed, “Yeah but you will not be the one helping me. You have to work to see me topless.”

Han smiled but shook his head, “You know two out of my three crew have made sex jokes about me”

“You’re a walking sex joke, Han. But if you don’t like it we’ll stop.”

“Never said I didn't like it, princess.” He said leaning on the door frame.

“Get Luke would you?” Leia said softly, “And thank you, for checking on me.”

“Any time, princess,” Han said and Leia was surprised by the lack of a joking tone. 

Leia fiddled with her hair making it very frizzy and bit her lip. She noticed she was hunching on the bunk and biting her lip. She straightened her spine and put her hands in her lap. She had to make sure he knew he had hurt her before all the emotional stuff could happen. There was no way she was going to let him off the hook for lying to her.

Luke was standing in the doorway causing her to jump. She should have been able to feel him right? Ugh, she was so lost. 

“I’m sorry.” Luke began.

“I know that Luke.” She could feel him now, drowning in guilt and sadness. 

“So why did you want to see me?”

“Because you have to know you can never do something like that to me again.”

“I can’t think of any other big secrets.”

“Good, keep it that way.”

“I will,” Luke said

“It was unfair to keep this from me, you don’t decide what I deserve to know!”

“There was never anything about deserving Leia! It was to keep you safe.”

“Ha” Leia choked a laugh, “I’m not a child anymore! I can keep myself safe.”

“Yes, I know. I should have told you the moment we had downtime. I was afraid to tell you for so many reasons. But my being afraid didn’t mean I should have kept secrets.”

Leia huffed, finally meeting Luke’s (her brother's!) eyes. The same guilt was clearly strangling him and honestly, that made her feel better. If he was actually sorry and upset maybe things like this wouldn’t happen again. It didn’t make her not angry, but she also desperately wanted to know about her family, to connect with Luke!

Standing there Luke looked extremely awkward. He was shifting his weight from foot to foot

. 

“Sit down, stupid boy,” Leia said looking away from him. 

Luke obliged and sat next to her. The need to hug him and the need to tell him to leave again was at war within her. So she decided to go with just holding his hand.

“So you said your mom was Padmé Amidala Naberrie?” Leia said. 

“Yes.” Luke nodded

Leia realised she hadn’t really thought it through. Her planet had just blown up and all that was important was him putting himself into life-and-death situations to protect others. He’d been kind to her but after her conversation with Mon Mothma the only person he talked about was the man who raised him, the man he considered his dad. The name Naberrie was the only part of her brain she had really registered in her brain because it’s what he’d said when he saved her that’s what he called himself.

But she shouldn’t have let it pass no he wasn’t any Naberrie he was the son of The Naberrie. Not just him she was the daughter of a Queen of Naboo and the Queen of Alderan! She was royalty and the daughter of senators who fought for peace twice over. How had anyone hid that from her? Leia set out a strangled but happy noise which made Luke jump causing them to knock their heads together.

She squeezed hands and breathed deeply; he radiated concern and waves of fondness.

Leia didn’t know what to do. Queen Amidala was someone she’d read about due to her father’s love of Naboo. She hadn’t understood fully why he was interested in their history and culture. Sure he’d been friends with the senator and past queen from there. Her birth mother had been so loved, given one of the biggest funeral processions in Naboo’s history. All of that hadn't felt totally relevant; Naboo hadn’t majorly affected the galaxy since before the Clone Wars had even happened. But now she understood, not only were they friends they must have been much closer than she thought. If Senator Amidala had given her to her dad to raise it filled her with happiness to know how close her family had been! 

It was great to be her descendant, and she understood why Luke used their mother’s pre-regnal name. It wasn’t totally bringing fire down on him as Amidala would have as it was more related to the political class. But it still honoured their mother.

She was dead of course, her parents had told her that her mom died giving birth to her and her father around the same time. So knowing they were gone wasn't new to her. It was still so devastating knowing her mother's name would not allow them to meet. But now she did have Luke who could help. 

Then Leia realised she didn’t know their dad so she met Luke’s eyes and asked, “Who’s my biological dad?”

“Anakin Skywalker.” Luke shared.

That was less exciting. Anakin was a Jedi, Luke had referenced him when he talked about the droids. But that was not a lot of information; she had only learned the bare minimum about Jedi through stories as a kid. Anything in her formal education was about how they were the people who betrayed the galaxy and were evil or whatever. But all three of the Jedi she’d met were on her side. And of course, Ahsoka who was raised as a Jedi. Also, Luke’s dad was a Jedi and he’d been on their side too. So if Jedi were willing to fight and die to free the galaxy then who cared what religion they followed. 

“Leia?” Luke said, gripping her hands tightly.

“Yeah?” Leia said looking at him he appeared slightly foggy and she noticed her heart was racing, when had that happened?

“Wanna tell me what you're thinking? You’ve gotten very stressed.”

“You just gave me part of my history I didn't have before Luke. You don’t know how it feels to have part of your history hidden from you.”

“My dad didn’t tell me who my father really was, it had been an accident more so than anything. Told me about my mom and you through veiled stories before I worked it all out. So I do know something I figured it out as a youngling though. My buir could never shut up about my father. My buir was my father’s master ya know? They were brothers in all but blood, my dad raised our father after he was freed by my grandmaster.”

“I’m not entirely sure what all that meant. But I understand parents who won’t shut up about the time before you were born.” Leia said sardonically, “And brother’s who refuse to explain kriff to you.”

Luke grimaced, “Do you want me to change the patch on your shoulder? You probably need it for another day. I can ask Han if you don’t want me to anyway.”

Groaning and rolling her eyes she passed the first aid kit to Luke, “Silly boy, you didn’t break my trust enough for me to want Han to do this for me.”

As he dressed her wound Leia wondered why she hadn't stayed pissed off. She should not trust him anymore, but she still trusted him. Maybe it was because she never really read him as duplicitous, not just Force nonsense, but the way she had learned as a politician. He was earnest and anxious. Leia was angry for sure, but pushing him away would just make her feel worse. She supposed that trusting and being mad at someone were not always mutually exclusive. 

“My buir was full of stories about our parents, especially our dad. I can tell you some of them if you like.”

“I’d like that, I think.” Leia agreed.

“I know how parents met, you want to learn? It’s a good story and you probably know the outlines already, galactic scandal and all.”

Leia nodded. Luke shifted so he was cross-legged on the bunk back to the wall. Luke patted the spot next to him so Leia could scoot back. Against reason, she laid her head on his shoulder. Leia was so tired, so tired. And sad and angry. But mostly tired. 

A story flowed from Luke about Naboo and the Trade Federation and their parents meeting through happenstance on Tatooine and the influence of Qui Gon Jinn whom Luke speaks of fondly. She got only part way into the story till she was falling asleep. She didn’t fight it as Luke continued to talk in a calming voice. Snuggling with her brother was already so comforting. She loved Luke and needed someone who would love her no matter what.

~~~~~

She woke up with the fear from the nightmare still coursing through her body. She jumped when Luke’s head came down from above her. He looked goofy upside down. 

“You good there Leia?”

“Yeah.” Leia said, “Why are you doing that?”

“It’s fun, and coming frown from up here would be a lot of work, I only want to come down if you need me.”

“Lazy Jedi.” Leia humphed 

Luke sighed but climbed down the ladder and sat next to her.

“I’m sorry you were having a nightmare.”

“You have your share of them.”

“Most nights,” Luke admitted.

“I used to have them sporadically, worried about my parents being hurt, and a lot of nightmares about what I know are lightsabers.” Leia stopped scrunching her brow.

She realised she had never seen a lightsaber before she saw Vader attack her ship. She’d never even seen a picture before. How had she dreamed about something so vividly and correctly without seeing it?

“It was a prophetic dream.” Luke said nodding his head, “You can see the future as someone who is Force Sensitive. They vary by person. I’ve had many, sporadically sure but definitely quite a few. And La’ara had them before she knew she was Force Sensitive as well.”

“More Jedi nonsense.”

“Yeah,” Luke said, shrugging his shoulders.

They sat quietly until the lights flipped into day mode and the twins got dressed and went out, even in the open space you could hear Chewbacca snoring which made them both smile. Chewbacca seemed like a good Wookiee. More amicable than Han, and more polite too. Leia really hoped she could learn Shyriiwook was fully, though she could tell The Force was helping her understand him a bit better, which Leia liked.

“Ya’ll slept forever, what was that fight of yours about?”

Leia and Luke met eyes and he shrugged

“We’re siblings.” Leia said, “Idiot Jedi over here didn’t feel the need to tell me till today.”

“Look, I wanted to keep her safe, and her dad and my buir both told me that knowing me would be dangerous.” Luke insisted.

“You’re next to me. People are going to tie me to you and you already woke up The Force. You’re an idiot for thinking not telling me was a good idea at all!”

“I didn’t mean to!” Luke said, throwing up his hands, “My buir told me to take care of you. I have to take care of you.”

Leia frowned, that felt a bit infantilizing. It made her feel like neither Luke nor his Buir trusted her. But the look her brother was giving her made her heart melt. His eyes were big and sad. Knowing she had made him upset made her feel guilty. He was giving her such a kicked-puppy expression. Not to mention he told her a story and checked on her when she had nightmares. Her stupid karking brother who lied to her to try to protect her and killed a man for hurting her was worrisome.

Like she’d said, fragile like a bomb . 

“Okay, so two siblings have both flirted with me. Part of me finds that slightly sexy, you’re both honestly pretty hot.” Han said with a crooked smile. 

“Gross,” Luke said, scrunching up his nose.

Leia laughed. Calling Luke hot was a bit strange. In his dirty sand-coloured robes he still looked like an outer rim farm boy. Endearing floppy messy hair and a bright embarrassed blush on his cheeks were more cute than hot. And the word sexy being applied to her brother already made her want to slap Han. But she restrained herself as she was pretty sure that Han didn’t seem to actually want to kark both of them at the same time. 

“Don’t worry Han, you'd have to work harder than weird comments to make me kark you. Talking about shagging my brother does not get me hot.”

“Okay, I think the two of you are completely committed to giving me a migraine.”

“That, that’s true,” Leia said the side of her mouth tugged up and her face flushed. 

“Well, one of you should go to the front. We are dropping out of hyperspace soon. So someone needs to watch for attacks. The other should go check on the droids; they've been fixing something on the engines for a long time.”

“I got the droids.” Luke said, “Been fixing up ships most of my life.”

Luke sprinted away and Han caught Leia’s gaze. She flushed even more and looked pointedly away.

“If I offended you princes, I'm sorry. I just say what I'm thinking.”

“Yeah Han, I know that. And honestly, I don’t care if you think my brother is hot though calling him sexy? That is weird.”

“Well, he did kill all those Stormtroopers and barely broke a sweat. Not to mention killing the dark Jedi guy.”

Leia shrugged, “Yeah sure but even before I knew he was my brother I did not find him hot.”

“Well, that’s good, being into your brother would be karked up. And you’re right, having sex with siblings would creep me out.”

“Thought so. So weird to have a brother, I was an only child for my entire life.”

“Well could be fun.” 

“Could break my heart.”

“I don’t know. I always try to leave before I get my heart broken. If I had a heart that could break.”

“People who say that don’t have a heart usually do. They just lock it in handcuffs.”

“I have a different use for handcuffs.” Han joked winking at Leia.

Leia ground her teeth. She’d seen hollos with those kinds of jokes and went to school with a bunch of teenagers, so she got it. But she wasn’t in the mood right now. She generally didn’t mind flirting; her nerves were a bit too frayed for this right now. 

Fixing him with a death glare got Han to put up his hands with a roguish smile.

“You don’t read the room.” Leia said, shaking her head, “Try the jokes later.”

“I can wait.” Han replied, “You’re right you're all wound too tight right now to appreciate my charm.”

“What charm?” Leia said but her voice came out amused. Was she amused? Her emotions were too messed up right now.

“Go tell Luke you’ll handle that part and send him to the cockpit. Not to be an ass but considering he was raised as a spacer he can handle that better. The droids can guide you.”

It bothered her a bit that he was right. She did not know how to fly a ship like this. Or really any ship. Now she was thinking about learning to fly should have been on the list of things to do. Maybe Han could teach her if they had down time. 

When she got to Luke she smiled softly, there was already grease on his nose,“Han wants you in the cockpit. Says you will be better at it than me or whatever”

“Do you know how to fly a light freighter?”Luke questioned one eyebrow raising.

“No.”

“There you go.”

“Threepio? Artoo? Help Leia fix everything okay?”

“Happy to help the princess master Luke.”

R2 let out a series of trills. Luke nodded patting his dome leaving her with the two droids and a bunch of tools.

She bent down, “Alright boys help me fix whatever is broken.”

Chapter Text

Luke 

Settling into the captain's chair Luke let out a long breath. The past day had been too emotional and complicated. He was used to fucked up emotional situations. He’d lived with people who were their own brands of crazy and hung out with the Ghost Crew who had their own style of emotional issues. That Experience however did not make any of this situation easier to bear. 

While he was used to being the source of pain, his birth was part of his buir’s urge to kill himself. And of course, his own personal karked brain made his Star Runner families’ lives complicated. He knew they loved him, and he loved them so much it hurt. But dealing with the reality of Luke and his brui’s issues could not have been easy. 

And now he’d thrown his issues on to more people. And these people, even if some of them had worked with The Hutts, were good. Luke noticed the screen warning him that they were about to drop out of hyperspace. Shaking his head he took a deep breath and watched the view screen as the streaks stopped and the stars came sharply into view. He opened his mind to The Force, closing his eyes. He could feel the space station teeming with people they were meant to dock with. There were some people on some ships in the other direction but the speed was normal. Nothing was there currently that was going to attack them. He still couldn’t see if someone was going to come out of hyperspace though. 

Coming into his body he noticed his hands were shaking and his head hurt. Kark he couldn’t have Force exhaustion he hadn’t used it like that in two days! And dealing with the Inquisitor hadn’t even been that difficult. Kark. 

Bringing the ship to the station he gave the passphrase Han had written on flimsy stuck to the dash. Once safely docked he rubbed his temples. He wondered if he could still allow all of The Force to flow through him, feeling things lightyears away. He’d done it on a ship before and with Master Vos and Master Ventress. Luke just wanted to be useful and to be able to connect with no problem. The Force was who he was, and how he navigated the world. 

Thinking Luke realised he hadn’t been meditating and he hadn’t really been trying to stay in touch with The Force the way he should have. Everything with Leia had been happening over the course of a few days in a rather intense way. The physical and psychological exhaustion made him feel like he’d been shot by a Star Destroyer. 

“Get your ass over here Luke, the higher-ups are looking to debrief us” Han shouted. 

Luke attempted to steady himself. He couldn’t stop his hands from trembling so he stuck them in his jacket pockets. Working to not let his mind wander during the debrief was failing utterly. This lovely ability to not fully exist in the moment was broken when he felt himself being shaken.

“Naberrie!” rang out and Luke pushed himself up in his chair and let out a confused noise.

“Tell us what happened with the inquisitor.”

“Right, I believe he was stationed on the planet. He said he could feel me on the planet. My shields have been less than great I believe. Considering that he taunted me in knowing I'm my buir’s apprentice, I think that he has been on the lookout for a force user as strong as me. The only other people who could be as strong as me I’m guessing are listed as dead or missing.” 

Luke’s voice hitched in his throat thinking of the sacrifices Ghost crew had suffered.

“Go on.” Leia prompted laying her hand over Luke’s 

“Yeah, so we fought. He used some messed up version of Ataru. He was clearly trained but probably a few levels down on the hierarchy of the Dark Force users. It took a bit to fight him but I got him off balance and took his arm. I hesitated a bit to strike the killing blow, and I am sorry for that. He had time to shoot Leia with a blaster. I’m guilty of not acting to protect others. But I won't make that mistake again, oh and he is dead now.”

“Okay, we will ask you to keep your word and kill anyone who could take information back to The Empire. Otherwise, your information is useful, and thank you for taking out a dangerous enemy.”

“Inquisitors are nothing really. If you’ve been around Vader , this is nothing like that at all. I could feel Vader through two ships' worth of metal and a whole battle apart. Inquisitors aren’t like that, but there are stronger ones than what I saw. You should train your foot soldiers to fight against Sabres. You’ve made yourselves targets. I doubt they will be restricted to fighting us Force users, probably against you as well.”

“We only have one person with a lightsaber. Are you offering to train our soldiers?” Another general asked. 

“I guess.” Luke shrugged, whatever he wanted out. He hated working with people like this, too much like politicians his dad had warned him against politicians. Well all except his mother, “I need to meditate. Continue my connection with The Force.”

“Jedi were like that in the past too. So much of your power needs you to sit cross-legged.” Mon Mothma said with an awkward smile. 

~~~~~

Unable to sit still enough to let himself into The Force he chose to use moving meditation like he did with La’ara. Though she had worked out how to sit still eventually, it was still clear movement helped her more. Maybe it could do that for him.  

He took in a deep breath and moved through the steps. Keeping his head up noticing how everything felt around and inside him. Being able to let the world in when not actively being attacked was so calming. Grounding him in his body and The Force. 

Moving into another meditation set the movements became fluid and he closed his eyes, able to actually what had been closed off to him by stress. He could almost see the station teaming with life, even able to pick Leia out of the crowd. Finishing the set he stopped and stayed stock still for a moment and focused on his thoughts, closing his mind off from others by imaging using a durasteel door. 

Just one long meditation after his hands were no longer shaking and his mind was safely locked up away from any prying eyes. 

Leia came into the room looking deep in thought. 

“Hey,” Leia said, meeting his eyes, “I feel you less, it's like just a strand of you.

“Good means my shields are working again.”

“Teach me to do that, I don't want anyone seeing into my head.”

“Of course I will, Leia,” Luke said. All he’d ever wanted before he even met her was for his sister to have a good life. She was wonderful and deserved the galaxy. 

“I can feel you, you’re calm? Like on the inside.” Leia furrowed her brow on the last word.

“I’d been neglecting my connection with The Force. It can’t leave you. The Force is eternal. But if you don’t make time to let your body be open to it, it becomes draining on you. You can’t make The Force obey you really, it’s not about controlling reality, more so you develop a relationship with The Force. Mediation also just helps frayed nerves in general.”

“You can show me that too. Every one of my nerves is frayed.”

Luke noticed her force signature was wobbly? For lack of a better word. It was not hazy like his dad’s were nor was it buzzing like when people were getting ready to fight. He supposed it was the fact that she too was holding on to the galaxy with bloody fingers. 

“They want to talk to you,” Leia interrupted his thoughts. She fiddled with her shirt sleeves, “Don’t tell them okay?”

“What am I not telling them?”

“About us. I don’t want people to focus on it.”

Luke took in his sister's appearance, her lip that had been chewed on and the way she rocked nearly imperceptibly on the balls of her feet. It hurt a bit, was she ashamed of him? Of their parents? Or was there a strategy-based reason? He wasn’t going to tell them in the first place, the more people knew she was strong with The Force the more danger she was put in. But he didn’t like the idea she didn’t want people to know. Unless she too was thinking something like him. 

“Why?” Luke said with a gulp

“It feels dangerous. People will use us against each other if they know how much we mean to each other. Bad enough people know we’re friends. And it doesn’t seem like a good idea to advertise that I'm Force-sensitive. Especially when I still don’t know how to use it.”

“Yes, I was thinking the same basic thing. Knowing you likely have The Force is dangerous. And we aren’t any force users, we’re The Hero With No Fear’s children.”

She nodded, “Maybe when we win this war. When things are safer. I’m stronger”

“I will train you as much as you want. But the more you train the easier you will be to feel. It took the inquisitor being a few feet away from you to notice. But I'm sure you will be even stronger than me, you will be a walking beacon for the Dark Side.”

“I don’t know about being stronger than you, but I take your point.” She nodded, “Get going now”

Luke walked through the station hit with the realisation he wasn’t that nervous. They already affirmed he was needed to win the war so he was still useful. He hadn’t failed them by letting Leia get hurt. Sure he did feel bad for letting Leia get hurt, but he and Leia had a much more complicated kriff between them. 

Sitting in front of Mon Motham and General Dodonna he breathed evenly. Letting The Force move through him like a sieve. He could feel it all but it didn’t stick to him. They were stressed but there was something else. Like they were primed to attack him, they wanted something. And Luke was distinctly aware that he was not having a friendly conversation. 

All his danger alarms went off and he pushed his shields up farther and breathed deeply. He felt his mind and connection to The Force shift. 

“Luke” General Dodonna started. 

“Mr Nabrrie if you please” Luke interrupted, tilting his head slightly, and placing his hands loosely on the table palms up.

“Mr Naberrie, you have proven to be talented and able to focus. In our contact with the remaining members of Phoenix Squadron we were informed that you were very useful to the cause, also that we owe you another apology for your loss of your boyfriend.” he continued. 

Luke tensed at the suggestion of Ezra, “Ezra his name was Ezra.”

“Yes, Padawan Bridger was a good kid. I had the honour to meet him when I first publicly joined the rebellion.” Mon Mothma soothed. 

Luke said nothing. 

“Either way you are an important asset. And we would like to spend some time here training our soldiers. I want them to know what to look for in an opponent with The Force. Only known force users have successfully killed those bastards.” Mon Mothma explained, “You will have to be separated from Princess Organa for some time as they will be needed elsewhere.”

“How long?” Luke asked. 

“Not right away. We know about the heat on all of you but likely you will be.” Mon Mothma said. 

“I will train your soldiers. I already wanted to do that. But I'm not abandoning Leia.”

“Whatever infatuation you two have for each other can not change our strategy,” Dodonna answered. 

“Did...did you tell Leia this?”

“No, you have a more level head right now. She is rightly hurting, you’re not going through what she is.” Mon Mothma replied. 

‘And I’m not hurting?’ Luke thought. The man who raised me was killed on that Death Star. The only karking thing that has always been there. Their words made the wound that loss had created bleeding again. Nobody cared about them really. And he knew this going in, he wasn’t a person he couldn’t be if they were going to send him into blaster fire. If you thought of everyone you got in trouble with as people it was hard to exist. He had seen how it hurt his buir, and how terrible he felt every time anyone on the team he was in suffered. It didn’t mean he liked having his family sidelined. But even more than others Luke was a weapon to swing at the bad guys. 

It felt like none of it mattered. He’d been born to help people, to save people. He was a weapon. As much as Jedi were people, people who loved each other, they were still soldiers. His dad’s pretty words about his past never totally convinced Luke that Jedi weren’t soldiers. Heroic soldiers sure but still. And since he could swing a lightsaber he’d been taught to protect himself and others. 

He knew he was selfish to just not want to be away from his sister, but on this front, he wanted to be selfish. He wanted to build a relationship with her. He couldn’t die knowing he’d hurt his sister more than strictly necessary. So it was worth standing his ground.

“Firstly, I am not infatuated with Leia. She is my friend, and she is one of a few people who know what it’s like to have your culture wiped out in the violence of the Dark Side. And I will not leave her.”

“Fine. Will make her a part of the decision-making here.” General Dodonna explained. 

Luke blinked looking up. Did they just let him have what he wanted, “Why are you willing to bend on that so fast?”

“We need you on our side Luke. I know you have worked for the rebellion for a long time. But you won’t be doing grunt work for much longer. You and Leia will be important here. As fighters and symbols. You are a Jedi. We know of only one more, Cal Kestis, who works with Saw Gerrera. The rest are gone or dead.” Mon Mothma explained. 

“I’m your attack wolf and show tooka then?” Luke smiled sardonically at the thought.

 He was used to running under the radar. The only safe place he’d ever had was around the table playing Sabacc and eating possibly stolen sweets. But now they wanted to plaster his name everywhere. Make him someone to inspire. How could he inspire others when he wanted so badly to give up. 

“I can’t promise I won't send her out at some point without you. But I won't make it too long.” Mon Mothma said placatingly. 

“Fine, who am I teaching?” Luke said, leaning back. 

Feigning nonchalance felt strange. But his emotions weren’t part of the equation, he was in combat awareness mode. He had to be as big as them so they wouldn’t attack him.

Chapter Text

Han 

Han sat next to Chewbacca drinking caff and wanting to scream at everyone. He was not into this whole debriefing thing or people checking on the outside of his ship without him watching. Being a “team” player was not something he particularly wanted to do. How the crazy apparently siblings had pulled him into their galaxy-level war confused the kark out of him. Leia had come back to the ship to send Luke away before turning right around when she’d been dragged off to do some other important rebellion nonsense. He sighed and shifted, too fast though as the mug tilted and he was covered in hot liquid. 

“Dank Farrik!” He cursed as he stood up.

* Be careful idiot ,*   Chewie responded

“Do you want to be here? Playing by their rules for no real return?”

Cewie looked at him with judgement. Most people assume Wookies are hard to read. But if you hang around them long enough you could tell when their eyes were insulting you. No matter how fluffy a being is they were very capable of telling you off with just a groan and a shrug. 

“What?” Han demanded.

* I want to help. Leia & Luke are good*  Chewie explained.

“They’re insane.” Han countered.

Chew sighed, * Yes. But you like them*

“They got us chased by an evil Jedi!”

* You’re happier than you’ve been in years .*

“Kark You,” Han screamed 

*Kark You !* Chewie growled at such a deep pitch that it made Han feel like he was vibrating. 

Han held his hands up in surrender, “Don’t worry I’m staying here.”

* good. We need to help. They took my home. *

The uncharacteristic openness in his speech made Han feel guilty. Han didn’t have a family anywhere to be worried about, he could throw himself into this madness just like the rest of his crew. Han had been raised by many people, some who loved him and some who hadn’t. Probably why he got along with Luke so well. Both had been raised without solid ground under their feet. And all of them were orphaned, why did all the people he befriend have such karking traumatic backstories. 

Why was dealing with people who were mostly good so much harder than dealing with your run-of-the-mill sleemo? Mostly he supposed you could screw over bastards as much as you wanted. It’s all about avoiding blaster bolts and spit. Good people require you to deal with emotions and opinions with kindness and whatever. 

His home planet had run mostly on the idea of might makes right. But that also meant people were fighting for good and kriff. Han did believe they had a good reason to overthrow the power. Han had never been interested in that part of it. Sure The Empire was garbage but it always seemed so big. And his world had been that of  a low-tier criminal stressed him out enough. He’d met good people, people who helped him when they didn’t have to. And of course, Chewbacca was a good Wookie, and a karking good friend. Chewie didn’t mind treating the rules like suggestions for sure and was even willing to work with Hutts. But this whole rebellion thing had also brought out a helpful streak at full strength.

Goraning dramatically Han put his cup up and absentmindedly ran some diagnostics. 

His lazy time was interrupted by Leia’s arrival.

“Han!” Leia called.

“Yes, princess,” Han said, turning to face her. 

“They’re serving food in the mess and they have non-freeze dried meat if you want some.”

“Luke is out there already; he doesn't seem to be happy.”

“Pass out because he overdid it unhappy, or his talk with the high ups pissed him off.?”

“Second i think.” 

Han didn’t follow automatically causing leigh to sigh and wave him to follow her, “Come,” 

Letting out a non-committal noise, he followed Leia out. 

She stopped him, half because he had practically ran into her, looking around she checked no one was watching “Wait, you can’t tell anyone Luke and I are related okay?”

“Okay” Han said, shrugging. He really did know what to say to that.

He couldn’t help but grin though when Leia seemed to realise she was basically touching his chest and blushed, turning away from him and marching away with her head held high. 

Getting to the mess hall they were given a very carefully measured amount of meat and then rehydrated vegetables and reconstituted bread. Not a fantastic meal but solid and would fill you up properly. Though reconstituted bread would fill you up on its own but leaves you deeply unsatisfied. Kark, he missed cantinas and restaurants. Alcohol was also rationed by these people meaning you couldn't get properly drunk. 

The kid was in as lousy a mood as Leia had said. He was eating his food with a thousand-yard stare. 

“Luke, what’s wrong?” Han sighed. 

“Oh, you know getting shackled to this stupid base to train karking soldiers who no matter what I teach are going to be skewered by bled sabres.”

“Rough, kid.” Han said and Leia nodded.

They said nothing for a bit then Leia asked, “Bled?”

“They torture Kyber with darkness and kill it’s connection to its rightful owner. Saturate it in fear and hate.”Luke explained

“Charming,” Leia muttered.

“Why does everything you tell me make me feel a bit more like I'm losing my mind?” Han said.

“Because I lost mine when I was a baby.”

“Fair enough” Han joked “I know what a chaotic childhood is like. Still came out more normal than you.”

Luke grimaced, “I think being one of the last Jedi did it to me.”

Han felt a bit guilty, maybe the kid didn’t need him to be joking right now, “Look, we are all a bit crazy. Life is a bitch. It karks you up bad.” 

After Han said that he realised that it was probably true.

He was also a little messed up. It wasn’t about not being messed up, it was about functioning like someone who had existed with real people. Also not ending up flat on your back passed out from your magic mind making you overwhelmed. And also Han was pretty sure Luke had no friends growing up and Han did at least know other beings other than his dad and captain. 

Han had a few friends, he might contact some next time they get out of this stupid base for some help. They knew all about staying out of the Empire's way. Luke also interacted with other people either like a frightened youngling or something slightly otherworldly who was going to murder him. 

Though his history had made him able to actually connect with Leia and Luke. They’d turned his galaxy on its head but he at least wasn’t run off by their insanity. 

“Now who’s spacing out,” Luke asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“Yeah, maybe you're rubbing off on me.”

“Well, I just hope you still want to be our captain.”

“Yeah kid I do.”

“You two damaged men are what I have on my side. I’m not sure if that means I have a better chance or less of a chance to win.” Leia said with a tired smile. 

“I might be a bit messed up but I'm good with a blaster and a blade,” Luke said leaning sideways into Leia smiling. 

“And I have the ship,” Han added, absolutely not wishing he could be that close to the princess.  

“Yeah you know what, I'm going to kill the emperor and I'm dragging you two with me.” Leia pronounced. 

Han nodded his head with a bit of reluctance 

~~~~~

Wandering around the station after midday mean had him trying not to think of Leia Han wanted very deeply to not have feelings for Leia. Actually having to spend a long time with someone he wanted to have sex with was draining. Sure he’d spent a lot of time with Lando during their little fling. But that had a specific time period and also included them having a bet and many fights about  The Falcon. Leia and him also had a strange time together. Maybe Han just liked chaos. 

While he walked he bumped into a soldier with gorgeous green eyes and jet black hair, nothing Like Leia but very hot. 

“I’m James, want to see if we can get  something to drink early?” The man asked.

“Love bending the rules.”

Downing some liquid courage had Han being led to another freighter where he and James started removing clothes before reaching the captain's cabin. 

He was able to push Leia out of his mind long enough to lose in the endless eyes, tanned skin and calloused hands. 

Maybe military installations had some perks. 

~~~~~

Wandering into the Falcon in a fog of sex and alcohol he was met with a Leia who was staring him down with the edge of a mob boss. Her expression made him want to duck behind something before she shot with the blaster that was sitting next to her on the table.

“What now princess?”

“I was looking for you. All anybody knew was you went to the kitchen and disappeared.”

“Having fun Leia, living a little.”

“You got drunk and had sex with someone.” Leia surmised.

“Leia,” Han sighed.

“Were they at least hot?” Leia asked, her face flushing.

“Very Hot and very talented. ”

“Good. Just don’t come back looking like you have the dexterity of a two-year-old.” Leia said, turning and walking fast to her cabin.

Chewie came into view laughing and shaking his shaggy head. 

Han looked at himself realising all of his clothes were hanging at strange angles. Kark he’d really done the walk of shame.

Getting in the fresher he let out a long breath. He was sore, but the good kind like a nice workout not being chased by beings with blasters set to kill. James was definitely worth letting off steam with, though they hadn’t said much of anything to each other. Which was a lot more normal for him, actually it was wonderfully normal. Like real life inserted itself into a war and running around with magic twins. 

The large form of Chewbacca was laid across both beds snoring. Han got dressed Glad when Chewbacca let out a big Wookeie yawn and sat up.

“Is Leia mad at me?” Han asked.

* No, she was more embarrassed.*

“Why?”

Chewbacca shrugged and laid back down, quickly falling asleep. 

Han was exhausted but his brain wasn’t ready for sleep so he went out to the eating area and noticed Luke was meditating on the ground, well not on the ground he was hovering. So his slice of normal was officially broken. Hearing about the Force as a kid and memories of the holos from the Clone Wars were one thing. A man who reminded Han a bit of a feral tooka with the ability to move kriff with his mind was very different. He wondered if all Jedi were like Luke or if he was special.

Luke landed softly, “Do you need something?”

“This is my ship.” Han countered.

“Yes I know, and Chewie runs it wonderfully.” Luke grinned.

“He does.” Han agreed. 

“So was the karking worth the judgement of Leia Organa?”

“Oh yeah. Life was almost good.”

“ Normalcy, I get it. The war and being with people who are different, it’s got to be exhausting.”

“Keep your mind reading to yourself, Luke.”

“I’m getting back to controlling it, I promise.”

Nodding Han went to the cabinets and pulled some jerky out and a deck of cards.

“Sabbac?”

Luke nodded, “Good to distract myself till I have to go train those soldiers, tomorrow”

Chapter Text

Luke

Luke stretched in the largest open room they had on the station waiting for his new students to show up. The closest he’d gotten to actually teaching someone before this point was Sabine who he’d been teaching lightsaber combat and the emotional upheaval that was circling would hopefully not be present in this class. But who knew, people liked to be strange and emotional. Himself included. 

The soldiers came in blasters on hand in a hodgepodge of street clothes and some uniforms. 

“So, what are we doing here?” One of the students asked.

“Your bosses want me to teach you about surviving Force users.”

“Don’t you mean beating?”

Luke tilted his head, “Some of you will be good enough, but if the force user is well-trained it will be hard. Starting with surviving and then moving to beating is a better plan.”

“You’re biassed.” The first student said, “You think you’re better than us.”

Luke lazily flipped his head and the man's blaster came out of his holster and landed in Luke's hands. 

“You were saying?”

“That’s a party trick.” He countered.

“Do you need me to strangle you from over here for you to believe that The Force is dangerous? Or is saying I blew the Death Star up with my eyes closed good enough?” Luke said his tone even spinning the stolen blaster in the air.

Could that be considered a waste of Force energy? Probably! But having to prove that The Force was worth fearing was annoying as kark.

His challenger was stopped from replying as Mon Motham walked in forcing Luke to not show annoyance. He knew that the Rebellion leaders probably meant well in the long run, but feeling used was still a disgusting feeling. He had karking goals to actually help people. 

The amusement he felt coming off of her made him want to stomp his foot and tell her to leave like he was eight years old again. 

“I know most of you were younglings during the end of the Clone Wars and you Private were in the creche but I need you to understand that The Force is something that can effectively be used as a weapon. And Luke was taught by a particularly talented fighter.”

“Obi Wan Kenobi,” Luke explained.

Looks of recognition showed on the older soldiers. 

“So now that someone has told you I'm good enough, can we get to lessons?”

No one argued, Luke tossed the blaster back and the soldier barely caught it but at least they could tell he had a good aim.

“Set your blasters to stun no one need die in class.” 

They complied and Luke ignited his sabre meeting their eyes across the room. He spun his blade and moved his feat till his Ataru stance would have gotten him a good job even from Master Ventress.

His students had enough awareness of their environment to hold their blasters at a reasonable height and body moved to have a smaller surface to hit.

Swift movements on his part had him  running halfway across the wall, landed in front of an opponent and knocked his blaster before quickly moving through the crowd blocking the blaster fire back so it stunned the guy who shot. When he couldn't do that he used The Force to put them on the ground. He was relatively unharmed after taking down twenty rebels. Their ability to knick his arms showed their aim was better than stormtroopers, but not nearly good enough to stop anyone trained in The Force. 

As the last soldier landed on the ground without their weapon Luke’s sabre inches from his neck.

“Ready to go again?” Luke asked, turning to face the crowd.

A few were standing up or rubbing heads. Another group were picking up blasters their eyebrows knitted jaws set in anger. None of their reactions phased him as it had been fun. Ahh damn, he was not good for having fun. It was karking dangerous to feel good hurting people. Finding pleasure in causing damage made him feel utyc and without u.

But then he remembered Vader cutting his dad down and all The Empire had stolen from him and everyone else. Fear filled him, Luke took in a breath and grounded himself, he couldn’t give into panic or let it turn to rage and hate. Frustration was allowed, a little annoyance and complaining. But fear and rage were going to kill him and everyone else if he let it rule him.

“Um, Luke?” A girl who he almost remembered asked, “You okay?”

“Yes sorry, I was thinking about what to do next.”

“Not throw us against the wall with magic I hope?” She joked. 

Huffing a laugh Luke spun his sabre feeling the familiar weight and turned to face them head-on.

“Go against the flow is something I suggest. Lightsaber combat is a flow of energy, we get into momentum and the worst thing to do is go with it. It will just keep them going and you will end up dead, or injured if you're lucky. I’m not the perfect stand-in for Inquisitors; they have double-sided blades, passé if you ask me but The Empire is not known for its elegance. But it will have to do.”

“What about The Force?”

Luke grimaced, “Force abilities aren’t the same for every Force User. A part of it is inborn which is down to the will of The Force, or Luck as my dad would hate me for saying. But the most important thing is being given time to connect and guidance to feel it properly. So how skilled they will be a bit unpredictable, but assume they are the best”

Taking in a long breath Luke took a Soresu stance, “Try and shoot me. I’ll show you how parrying blaster-fire works. See if you can track my pattern”

~~~~~

The mess hall was full and his headache almost had him turning around, but he needed some food after everything that day. Luke was tired from teaching two groups of students about fighting Inquisitors. It was physically exhausting to have to perform physically well and keep his wits about him. It didn’t truly connect him with The Force the way a real battle did, he didn’t have to enter true combat awareness. 

He had fun jumping and moving, it was good after so much time in The Falcon with only one event that required much of him. And they weren’t as into training on the ship as he had on the StarRunner or when they had landed with Ghost Crew.

Serving himself food Luke sighed. Focusing as much as he could on each step of getting food, then he counted the table legs as he passed them going to his normal table on the far side of the mess. 

The minute he sat down his heart started to hurt as images of everyone who he’d been trained by and learned from ran through his mind. The karking Empire had stolen them, anger or fear didn’t flood in to give him energy but instead, he felt like his energy was draining from him. His arms, head and legs felt heavy his heart felt like it was beating too hard. He wanted to lie down. 

“You okay?” The girl he’d noticed during the first class.

“Yeah, I'm fine,” Luke said with a fake smile. 

“Princess Leia should be coming in soon, may I sit and wait?”

“‘Course,” Luke said, sliding over on the bench. 

“I’m Ensign Nell Eras, we met before but you probably don’t remember.”

“Your name escaped me but I knew we had met.”

She nodded and took a bit of the pasta, Luke followed and took in the grain and meat. It tasted almost fresh, like the first night after going to the store. He wondered if one of the other ships had brought real food. Food that comes in vacuum-sealed packets or the dry stuff that comes in bags was a consistent part of his life, didn’t mean real food wasn’t so much better. 

Leia arrived looking annoyed and sat on the other side of the table with a loud breath.

“What?” Leia questioned before downing something that smelled like liquor. 

“You okay?” Luke asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“No, yes, no.” Leia said waving her hand airily, “The karking bosses ask me for my opinion but then they don’t even listen. I just want them to consider me a person with valuable ideas. They know I’ve been trained in warfare and politics, and that I’ve been working with the rebellion since I was fifteen!”

“You have to prove you’re smart enough and good enough.” Ensign Eras said.

“How do I do that?” Leia sighed.

“Go on a potentially deadly mission and come back with fewer casualties than was predicted.” Ensign Eras shrugged. 

“I think she’s right. I proved my Jedi skills by actually using them.” Luke agreed. 

Leia let her head drop into her hands and she let out a groan. Her body was tense she rubbed her face, brought her head back up and stared into Luke’s eyes. He could feel a supernova of emotions inside her. And he tried to let calm drift from him sliding into her mind through a lowered door.

Her shoulders rested and bit and she shifted back her head on her shoulders and her hands loose on the table. 

“I got you,” Luke thought, closing his eyes and feeling her Force signature fully. It was fiery and strong as ever. Luke smiled a bit and opened and glanced at the Ensign who was watching him. He let some of the peace go her way too before closing his durasteel door again. 

The young soldier breathed in and out in an even matter. The calm energy seemed to have her move out of a soldier posture to one that had slumped soldiers and fingers picking at her nail beds. 

“Oh Princess, I wanted to know if you would be willing to record something I can send to the other survivors? To assure them all that you care, that we will get to be together again?”

Leia looked like she had grown a few inches and her facial expression schooled itself into a ‘royal’ expression. 

“Yes, of course.” Leia agreed.

“After you eat you com me and we can meet in my spot in the barracks? If that is okay with you.”

“Yes, that sounds good.” 

The ensign left and Leia moved to the bar and got her food and came back to their table. She sighed and looked at Luke with an exhausted expression. 

“Going on a dangerous mission. I think I could pull it off.”

“You’d do fantastic Leia, That’s hardly the problem." 

“What do you mean?” 

“They want us as show tookas, Leia. We are meant to sell this rebellion. One of the last Jedi, the living princess of a genocided culture, we make good icons.”

“Well, they are running out of commanders and generals. They need someone to lead missions. Now that we have a base to run things from. They want us to do more than the supply runs like what they forced us to do.”

“If you go, they will hold me here, I'll be like a pet” Luke said, staring at his hands, the idea of being away from Leia made him feel like his insides were vibrating. 

“Well nothing is happening, probably ever. I don’t want to lose you either Luke.”

~~~~~

Luke was on his knees leaning forward, bowing on the cold floor to Vader who was holding his lightsaber to Luke’s neck. 

“Pity you won’t join me. We could take control of this empire.”

Luke wanted to scream realising he was missing a hand bile filled his mouth.

The world turned and swam until he saw the roof of a spaceship and he could feel two hands. Coldness still consumed him and he felt desperately alone. Leia was alive but she was off, probably getting herself sent to some deadly place. Thinking of his sister alone somewhere deadly brought the acid back he choked and acid poured from his nose. Force, the blanket already needed to be washed and the bunk whipped down. He hadn’t changed it in a long time, so it had a few layers of sweat.

“How are you, young one?” A familiar voice spoke, making Luke jump out of his skin. When he was filled with a calm warmth, he knew what it must be. 

“Master Qui Gon?”

“Yes, dear grand padawan. How are you holding up? There has been a lot of upheaval in your life.”

“Can my dad talk to me like this too?”

“He can, yes, but it’s hard to break through the veil between the pure force and the living. I know he was able to save you.”

“At the Death Star?” Luke questioned tentatively. 

“Yes. You haven’t answered my question yet.”

“Oh, I'm tired, I guess. I’ve had a lot of emotions going on. Blowing up the Death Star, Meeting my sister, having emotional conversations, fighting inquisitors, dealing with leaders who are basically politicians. Ugh, like I don't want to deal with all of it. I’m a fighter.” Luke grumbled pulling himself into a stopped cross legend position. 

“Being a Jedi is more than just fighting.”

“Being a Jedi is about protecting others, restoring the galaxy to peace. You’re the one who told me I have to fight Vader anyway.”

“Correct in many ways. But we have worked with other people for a long time, and you don’t have a council to rule the Jedi anyway. And yes you do have to win with Vader and The Emperor. You must bring balance back.”

“Yes, I know,” Luke said as it devolved into a cough. Damn, getting sick did make his throat hurt. 

“Fight as needed, but keep in tune with the galaxy. Remember to interact with other people and protect your connection with The Force.”

“Of course.”

“Your dad lost his way, he shut down to the world. Don’t let our grief do the same to you, not when you’re needed. You have lessons to give, to the soldiers and your sister. They will need it, and you need it to keep your head on straight.”

”Okay, I'll be nice to the students, and I will train Leia but only as much as she needs. She doesn’t want to be a Jedi.”

“For now.”

“Thank you, grandmaster,” Luke said dodging that comment. Luke was pretty sure she wouldn’t want that. She loved being an Organa even loved being in charge. She would be an amazing leader in a way Luke didn’t want to be. She wanted to live, being a Jedi was a death sentence.  

“Be well.”

The feeling dissipated and Luke felt even more tired. Stripping his bed Luke dragged the sheets and blankets to the washer and grabbed some stuff for cleaning. He was honestly impressed that Han actually had it for someone who very much seemed like he would just run it underwater. Though He supposed cleaning things might be necessary if he had more scoundrels-esq who would spill and vomit and ejaculate all over the place. 

Wiping down the bed he sighed the memories of the day flowing through his mind. Being a teacher he supposed was a huge part of being Jedi so doing it was good. However, he was not budging on his dislike of the leaders of the rebellion. His dad had ingrained in him that the only politician worth caring about was his mother. And maybe Bail Organa. 

His dad was not fond of the old senators and definitely the new ones. The people in charge of everything never came across as good, and after he’d gotten more truth from his father over time with the fall of the Jedi it was clear the senate was part of the problem. And Luke also had questions about the Jedi council. His dad of course loved those people and missed them, Luke couldn’t help but wish he had known them in a way he wanted to meet no more senators than was absolutely necessary. The council thought he felt like had made kriff choices too. 

Letting the leaders tell him what to do was not fun. Luke was good at following orders but he’d always trusted the people who gave him those orders, or at least liked them. Even with the lack of trust or even like he had with these people. There was a bit of a split in his mind standing here, he was a good soldier and had been following their dictates via orders anyway. So it made no sense to want to disagree with them, but looking at them made him want to scream. 

He shook his head, he’d see how they treated him going forward, and continue to not try and force himself to trust them.

Chapter Text

Leia

Leia sent the message to Ensign Eras who invited her over right away. Leia sighed, she wanted to do this but it was also going to hurt. There was nothing she could do about that, but whatever was left of her people deserved to know that even without a home, she would always be there for them. And she would find them a place after the war. Once the republic was built she would advocate for them any way she could when she was in the government. Because they were worth it, and the memory of her parents was worth it. 

The door slid open and Ensign Eras was fiddling with a video com, her eyebrows were knitted, the tip of her tongue poking out of her mouth.

“Hello, Ensign Eras.” She said pulling herself up to her full height, it might not be a lot but she still needed to be who she was raised to be. 

“Hello princess, Thank you for doing this.”

“Always Eras, always.”

She smiled and looked at the bunk. Leia was glad she didn’t have to look at the ensign, making eye contact would be hard right now. As much as she was sure she wanted to do this, had to do this, she could feel her stomach fluttering. 

“Okay so ah, sit on the bed, if you’re okay with that.”

Leia obliged and she was positioned by the Ensign, in an impressively well way. She must have been interested in media of some kind before the war. It was sad that she didn’t get to do that.

“Tell them that you’re alive, that you are here for us and that you will find us a home. Can you do that?” Eras asked starting the recorder

“Leia nodded, “Hello to those who lost their home of Alderaan to the Death Star. I am your princess Leia Organa. I survived the attack, and I will still be doing my best by you. I will fight for us, and when we win I promise to find you a home to live together if you need it. And the new republic will not overlook us when settling refugees. You are not alone in this insurmountable grief, and you will never be alone. Alderaan is gone, but I am not.”

The recorder light went off and Ensign Eras nodded, “Thank you.”

“Whatever my people need.”

~~~~~

Before she could sleep she was called to meet with the high command. Leia bit her lip, she supposed there was planning to do. It was just an interesting time to be called into the command. Everyone should be in the sleep cycle, she’d missed Luke coming back from training which she knew he was worried about.

She entered the room breathing her emotion in and blowing it out. She walked in moving with all the grace and poise her mom had drilled into her.

“Ah yes, good to see you.” General Dodonna said. 

“You commed me,” Leia said, keeping herself from rocking on her feet.

“Yes, we have a mission for you, something very important. Not just running supply.”

“Luke coming with me?” Leia asked tentatively.

“No he has to stay here, but you may take Captain Solo if you wish.” Mon Mothma explained.

Leia wanted to get angry that they were trying to steal her brother from her. But this was also her chance! Ensign Eras had told her showing she could be an exemplary soldier was the best way to gain trust.

“It’s a mining operation on a small planet that has been taken over by the empire. It belonged to the non-aligned planets during the Clone Wars, considered not necessary for a long time. But the planet has the necessary minerals for making fuel, so they can make more star destroyers and possibly another Death Star. We can not let them gain more fuel.” General Dodonna explained.

“Who’s commanding the mission?” Leia said keeping her voice as even as possible, didn’t want to appear too eager. 

“You are.”

Wait, they trusted her? They viewed her as a real leader.

“You have access to any information you need. Your access has been upgraded to second on the server. be ready to go in a cycle.” Dodanna finished. 

“Yes, I’ll be ready.” Leia nodded vigorously, taking a data pad she was offered. 

She sat down on one of the tables in the command room and sifted through the information flagged for this mission. She had to do this right, had to prove herself mature enough, that she could be truly a part of the leadership. Leia knew she was good enough they just had to see it. 

Then she thought of Luke, he was going to be so upset. She should have fought more to have him come with her. What if they died systems away? They would only learn through casualty reports. Her mind was made up though, dam her worries. She had to do this. To prove herself, and because if someone was going to trust her it was against every bone in her body to let people down. She had a duty to everyone in this rebellion 

Still, it hurt to even imagine Luke's face. They'd only known each other for such a short time but she wanted the best for him. 

Since that terrible day on the Death Star , they were meant to be with each other. Call it luck, fate or The Force, she knew they were meant to be together. Remembering the horror of the Death Star poured fuel on the fire of anger that lived in her. She was going to this and she was going to win. She was going to come back. Leia would always come home to Luke and him to her.

~~~~~

Taking in a breath she walked up to Han who was lying on his bed face down. It was funny and she wondered if Chewbacca had dropped him there. Leia could feel he was bored, of course, he was used to always doing something so he was probably itching to do something. Hopefully, this would be something he would want to do.

“I’ve been given command over a mission.”

“Good for you.” He said muffled. 

“You’re coming with me.” Leia sighed

“Guess so,” Han said, sitting up and shaking his head.

“You'll come?” Leia questioned trying to keep relief out of her voice. 

“There isn’t much else to do, Chewbacca wouldn’t let me run away.” Han sighed.

“Good, tell him thank you. I have planning to do”

Hours passed with Leia sitting cross-legged on the floor of the Falcon biting her lip as she scrolled through the data pad they’d handed and took notes on her own. She had only a few hours to get this done, well she was so close to completing it. Spending her childhood being officially and unofficially taught about war. Her father might have been a senator but he had always been willing to lay his life down, and since she’d been born he’d been running this rebellion. Her own research into the Clone Wars and even older wars had given her an edge over even other children of soldiers. 

Already knowing so much about leadership and tactics made this easier than it would be for most nineteen-year-olds, didn’t mean her stomach wasn’t bubbling with nerves. She’d already sent in for the equipment and men she would need. A piece of her long hair caught on her dry eyes staring at the bright screen for hours was starting to hurt. The braids had devolved into being half frizz and her clothes hadn’t been changed since she had her meeting.

Leia knew she could do this, but making mistakes was still possible. Everyone was fallible. Reading through the text again it looked good, looked like it would be menial casualties. She couldn’t figure out exactly how to shut down every part of the command machine but they had shut down others of the same type. 

Tapping a few times on her pad she sent the official plan to the generals and walked to her room changing her clothes to something she could fight in. 

The only thing she hadn’t done yet was tell Luke. He’d dropped on his bunk without food after his second-day training soldiers the night before. The exact motive for his stress Leia didn’t know. It would have been good to talk to him then but it was scarier than getting shot at. She would be leaving the first thing the morning lights came on. They had to talk, Leia could have found him for the midday meal but she hadn’t so she only had a brief amount of time.

As she started to undo her brains to re-do them she felt Luke getting on the ship. She could hear and sense as he walked to their room leaning on the door frame.

“What are you keeping from me?” Luke asked, an eyebrow raised. 

“I’m going on a mission, without you,” Leia told him. 

He nodded, his mouth closed, and his eyes drifted to the side. There was a slight raise in tension in his shoulders, “I understand. Thought they’d give us more time, but that’s how these bastards act.”

“Luke, be nice” She admonished. 

“I don’t do well with people leaving Leia.” His voice was even but there was a tendril that was so close to fury sliding through his shields.

“Why are you so angry?”

“What did the senate, the army or the navy do for anyone?” Luke took a step towards her and the energy flowing off him crackled.

“Luke, they kept the galaxy working.”

The sardonic smile on his face made her muscles tighten. One of the times he felt like the bomb she had so correctly dubbed him. 

“We wouldn’t be here if the senate meant anything.” Luke ground out. 

“I was a junior senator, Luke.” Leia moved so he was looking into her eyes. 

“You like our mom are an exception. Look, my dad taught me to be polite, and he cared for your dad. But Is the Senate not half the reason the galaxy fell anyway? The republic mattered, it was better, but people were suffering already. I’ve met people who were struggling already. My dad loved the republic too, and I hated the empire. But I just. I don't trust these people. ”

“Anger is a path to the Dark Side right?” Leia challenged. The republic meant something to her. 

“After this war has torn so much out of me, what am I supposed to do? I’m supposed to just trust everyone? I’m not supposed to be frustrated with people getting in the way of actually doing what I was born for. The only reason I exist is to kill Vader.” He shouted.

She sucked in a long breath that was hard to explain. She understood he had a goal, had a belief of how he was meant to save everyone. But he didn’t need to yell, 

“Luke. You can be upset, but it is important to work with these people. We have to in order to actually make good to people about keeping them safe. You can have your own goals but we need you here.”

“Right, do as I am told.” He sighed and sat next to her. “I know, I will do what is asked of me. I’m actually generally good at doing what I'm told. My dad was a soldier, and so was our father. I just feel like I'm being manipulated. This isn’t what I was born to do.”

Leia didn’t really know what to say. She supposed the rebellion wasn’t his people. At least not most of them. She did understand that you couldn’t put yourself everywhere and help everyone, no matter how wonderful that would be. And he had his whole saving the galaxy assassination thing wasn’t a horrible thing to want to do. But being a hero didn’t mean as much as fighting with everyone. Or building things back when they were done. He was so in his head, if he was so staunch in helping why was this not good enough for him? 

“Luke, I know you have your whole thing going on. But you are helping here, saving lives here. 

And I’m here. Aren’t your friends in the rebellion anyway?”

“Yes, The Runner crew are part of all of this. And that’s my fault.”

“Well fight with them, with me. Okay? I promise you will be useful, okay?”

“You know my weakness, feeling useful.”

She half smiled at him and he used his hands to turn her slightly then he undid her hair and she guided him to braid it up so it could be pinned. He leaned his head on her shoulder.

“Just come back to me? I need my sister.”

“We come back to each other. We don’t leave the other one alone,” Leia responded. 

“Okay,” Luke whispered.  

~~~~~

Luke had looked so dejected when she left but there was nothing she could do about that. Nor could she fix Han’s grumbling about how he was going to get himself shot for her. The rest of the soldiers were joking with each other. Han had agreed to let Luke watch the Falcon so he could fly the transport.

When they fell out of light speed a few minutes from the planet everyone got quiet and Leia shouted orders. She felt like her mouth was moving but she couldn’t fully comprehend her own words. Everyone else seemed to understand though so hopefully everything would work out. 

Landing, her body jumped back into feeling alive. She and her men split one group for a frontal assault on the camp Leia and her group made their way through the forest.

The sound of blaster fire made her ears ring but it wasn’t a sound she’d never heard before, even small missions sometimes involved violence. Her breathing felt heavy in her chest, eyes stung from the crushed leaves and dirt kicking up into her face by the running. 

They were able to flank the imperial outpost. The enemy fire was less than at front letting them push through and get into the building.They shot down a group of men at the back entrance. After the ipms all hit the ground Leia grabbed a few badges off them to open doors. 

Leia stopped for a second letting the soldiers meet her inside, “Fan out, keep the fire away from us. I’ll go down and be able to shut down the drilling. Should give us time to clear all the imps out and ensure there is no control of the planet.”

Everyone listened and Leia was able to get to the control station.

The second badge she swiped gave her full access and she let out a long breath, time to get to real work. Putting her blaster in the holster she bit her lip as she looked at her data pad with the instructions to shut everything down. 

“Just shoot the signal booster,” Leia said, pointing towards it, not looking up from her work.

She noticed how ragged her breath sounded, she wasn’t even that tired, much more on the keyed-up side. Her muscles didn’t even hurt but she supposed the amount of tension in her body was making her lungs work over time.

The final numbers were punched in and she heard the drilling power down and leaned on the table. The vibrations of the drilling slowed down.

“How are we doing?” Leia asked into her com.

“Limited casualties on the frontal assault.”

“Same here on the infiltration team.” There was a shuffling noise, “We caught a few of the scientists and we have them detained. Are we taking them with us?” 

“Yes.” Leia agreed, information was always good, “We’ll take them.”

Making her way up to the front entrance she saw many dead bodies, mostly imps, which should be good to prove she knew what to do. And she wouldn't have to deal with as much of a guilty conscience. Not that it didn’t karking hurt to think about them. They all had somebody who cared for them, and they had lost part of them. If there was one thing Leia truly understood, it was having someone you love taken from you.

Leia met with her commanders out in front of the building talking troop numbers,

“We’ll leave about half here with reinforcements coming to hold it long term. All wounded will come with me back to the main post.”

“Sounds good Princess.”

A flinch almost took her body at the address, something about hearing it out here felt wrong. But she had no rank really. But it still felt strange. There was no one she was going home to, well Luke, but he was as fucked as her really.

She left getting to the ship and seeing Han standing there and they met eyes and she hoped she read the relief on his face correctly. There was this part of her she didn’t really want to acknowledge that she wanted him to want her to be safe, to want to see her. The feeling didn’t quite feel like safety, but it was an agreement that he wasn’t going to let her go on a stupid mission by herself. Trust.

They climbed into the ship and as the ship hit Lightspeed her body let go of some of the energy running through her. She felt exhausted and dizzy and squeezed her eyes shut. She had done well, they couldn’t admonish her for this. And Luke would be there for her and she would get to sleep. Above all, she would get to karking sleep.

Chapter Text

Luke

Banging his head against the wall was feeling like a really good option right now. He had gained family and now the Force seemed to need to take things away from him. The Runner crew was who knows where! Leia, Chebacca and Han were off doing a mission. He had The Falcon but it was nothing without his friends. Nothing was ever right without people with him, he knew that it was easier to be alone in the end. He would fight Vader, and try and protect everyone. And he wasn’t going to drag anyone with him. And if he survived that, try with the emperor, and probably die. So maybe if he was alone then no one would miss him as much. Kark, he didn’t want to be alone, he was pretty sure he’d go insane, more so, if he had to always be alone. 

Not to mention his last conversation with Leia had been awful. He’d been so angry, but he knew it was fear really. He was so afraid of losing her, he was afraid of not being able to help people, he was afraid of being controlled. 

Sure Luke deeply wished he could have been with the Jedi, that his dad could have had his family, he could have met his father. But Luke wasn’t sure he would have been particularly good though. Luke knew he was a bit wild compared to the younglings he had spoken of.

It wasn’t that he couldn’t follow orders, actually contradicting people didn’t come easy to him. Listening to his buir, La’ara or Captain Hera was always worth it. It hadn’t felt controlling, being next to his buir was the safest place in the galaxy! La’ara was family, she didn’t boss him around, just guided him, and taught him. Captain Hera had earned his respect the way these people hadn’t, and they’d been action you needed goals in combat, on missions. Not on this stupid station! And he worried he might have found the council similarly stifling. 

His previous commanders and teachers didn’t actually treat him as the tool he was. Even if he knew he wasn’t really worth being given the kindness it was still so nice. It was like being held when he cried. Like a warm blanket. 

Connecting with The Force here wasn’t as comforting as it usually is. No one stood out in a comforting way. They were mostly strong and bright but none of them felt like home.

On the positive side, he was connected with the movement of the planets the way the galaxy breathed. It was something that felt so right. Practising connecting with the people around him was still important, it kept him ready to fight should he need to. There was ambient anxiety sure but when things were not going well he needed to be able to feel it. 

Luke sighed, dragged himself to the mess and filled his plate sitting down. He looked at the food that actually smelled pretty good which made him dig in with gusto. It felt good there was enough flavour in the food it could ground him. He felt like he was floating away, his dad had always given him something to do. Either with missions as he got older, but he’d always taken care of him. Now all he had was his ability to kill imps, a noble cause of course, but it was different. 

Without Leia, there was nothing for him to hold on to. 

He realised he’d eaten his food rather fast and wanted to groan. He needed something to keep him in this world and that was proving hard. 

~~~~~

When he was in the training room he returned to his body as he threw blaster fire back at the shooters and even got to show off holding a blaster bolt in mid-air sending it back at the group. 

Luke was proud though that he was actually out of breath. They’d gotten better at noticing his patterns and wearing him out. They hadn’t gotten a real shot on him and they were just as if not more tired as he was. It stood to reason though that they wouldn’t be fighting the higher-ups without Luke. Inquisitors were Jedi hunters; there were likely only a few out there. He also hoped if they were going against large bases or trying to do other things that would put them in the hands of an important base or ship. 

Just thinking about that made his skin go cold. Leia could be running into a trap, get herself killed, be felt by an inquisitor! She shouldn’t have let her go alone! Han and Chewie were good backups but they couldn’t fight like Luke. Han was amazing in a ship but he didn’t have The Force. Looking at the future Luke would be the one taking out the biggest threats, it wasn't a slight. Han was a cocky man who wanted to play heartless, but Luke knew he was trying hard to be good to Leia. Han also knew that Luke would kill him if he ever hurt Leia, so that also kept him in line. 

Not bothering to go back to the Flacon Luke sat down scrolling on his data pad his fingers drummed out a beat on the ground next to him. He looked at the coming and going of people. Luke was glad they had given him high enough clearance he could read which ships were coming and going. But before he even got to the planned arrival he felt La’ara. He started to smile and everything was good in the galaxy for one minute. He sprang up and moved as quickly as he could weaving through all of the people and went into the hanger. Then The Runner landed and his hair stood on end as his body convulsed. He blindly reached and held the bar. Grief was pouring out of his family and Luke wanted to scream. 

He didn’t do that but without meaning to, the bars all fell over and there was a crack in the floor barely registering as he jumped down and took La’ara’s hands. He looked around and there were supposed to be four signatures in the ship and now he only felt three. Tears streamed down his face fast and hot, he did nothing to stop them.

“What happened?” He whispered.

“She’s gone” La’ara choked out bowing her head. 

Looking up he saw soldiers looking at the destruction whispering to each other. Mon Mothma entered the bay. She glided her feet moving smoothly under her skirt, her hands clasped and head held high. It was pretty but felt very incongruous with the destruction and confusion around her. 

“We received your message, we are so sorry captain.” Mon Mothma said quietly, nodding her head slightly.

“Sorry?” La’ara laughed, and danger rolled off her. The energy of rage and derision pressed against him and filled the room. Given the way Mon Mothma stiffened meant you didn’t need The Force to feel her disgust. 

“Yes, but we are glad you completed the mission, many lives were saved. We respect that.” Mon Motham continued.

“My mother is dead.” La’ara hissed, “I completed the mission for the people. I won’t let people starve. But I do not give a kark about your respect.”

Mon Mothams raised her eyebrow as she turned to Luke, “I can tell she raised you. and you are helping fix what you broke.”

Luke stared at her and to be completely honest he wanted to laugh. There was something impressive about telling him to behave after he had accidentally cracked a large amount of the floor of the upper deck of the hanger bay and all the railing. She moved with the same grace she’d come in with in moving away from them meeting with maintenance men on the top level.

Tugging Luke’s arm La’ara they went into the StarRunner where Alema and Biala were both swirling glasses the room was drenched in sadness and grief and the smell of alcohol made him scrunch his nose.

“I’m so sorry.” Luke said as a glass was poured and passed to him, “I should have been there.”

“No” Alema said, taking his hand “Nerra, you have done nothing wrong. We knew it was dangerous but we did it.”

“If I was better,” Luke muttered then sipped his drink.

“We were there Luke. Are we at fault?” Bialla challenged.

“No, of course not,” Luke said loudly.

“Good. The only people at fault are the stupid pirates who killed her” Alema assured him, squeezing his hand tightly and he shook his head.

“Does your ship need working on, I didn’t give it a look over and where's Arrthree?” Luke said horsley.

A wave of comfort and relief  when he heard beeping and the droid knocked into him, his tooka robot was also there.

“You kept a toy?”

“Well, who knew when you would be visiting. Your bunk is made up if you ever need it.” La’ara said with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

“Speaking of visiting, you can sleep on the Falcon if you need to. It might smell like Wookiee, but I don't think you should stay here. Especially you La’ara, there is grief on the Falcon from what happened with the Death Star. But it is much less strong than this by now, and well it isn’t your grief. Here you’re just reinforcing your own pain.” Luke offered

“Your Captain okay with that?” Bialla asked.

“I’m holding the fort. He's on a mission. But you guys can bring blankets and stuff and you can sleep in the common area. So you don’t sleep in their beds.”

“Sounds good to me.” Alema said, “We can’t stay here right now. The pit crew can fix up the damage.”

“Where's her body?” Luke asked barely above a whisper.

“Burned, the ashes. They were let out in space.” La’ara said, swirling her glass. 

“Okay.” Luke nodded. 

Part of him wanted to ask why they hadn’t waited for him. She was his family! The best part of his life had been with these people. But he wouldn’t get to say goodbye, just like his buir, just like Ahsoka, Kanan and his dear Ezra. Masters Ventress and Vos had never even got a good remembrance. It wasn’t fair that everyone he lost slipped through his fingers like Tatooine sand.

But he sniffed and nodded.

They put their glasses down and Luke led them through the halls. He got stares from everybody, mostly fear. His mental space was taken up with grief so he didn't have time to contemplate these soldiers being afraid of him. 

ArrThree was rolling behind him, it would be good for him to meet Artooie. They had both lost multiple owners, maybe they could bond. Droids had feelings and deserved to be supported and Luke would never hear any comment against that. He would fight for his droid friends, thank you very much. 

Getting on the ship he was pleased to see Arthree and Arrtoie were beeping rapidly at each other rocking slightly on their legs. It was cute and he brushed his hair from his eyes remembering calmer times. From what Luke caught they were talking about humans messing the ships up more than the battle had done. 

They laid their blankets out on the ground and Luke pulled his bedding from his bunk and laid it out next to La’ara. La’ara was staring into the middle distance breathing roughly. Luke reached out and took her hand.

“We have a while before the night meal but Han does have some backup food, jerky and stuff. And I'm sure there is alcohol stashed somewhere. Though you can get that at night meal too.”

“I think we're good on alcohol right now. We need some sleep.” Bialla announced that the other two women mumbled agreement and laid down. 

Luke sat down with his back to the table scrolling through other reports. He looked up as the sound of snoring came rhythmically and he smiled. These women were his family. They were the first people after his buir who learned to give karking care about him. They’d put up with his dad being half mad, especially when Luke was young, and Luke’s inability to function like a normal person. The only normal things about him were his love for cake and droids. 

They had always made life more fun with Dejarik and Sabacc games. They had always been there for them to come home to. It was something Luke had never had and he didn’t think would ever really find again. 

There was nothing to do after he’d read everything then to stare at the chrono and wonder how time could move that slowly. 

Maybe it was good that time was moving slowly, they needed sleep. They probably hadn’t slept since Mom Acrum died. It would have kicked them into survival mode. Hard to sleep when you're pretty sure you’re about to die. Luke couldn’t sleep, he would dream of Mom Acrum. Easy to not focus on pain when your brain has enough energy to do something . But now as his mind drifted he felt his heart clench and his throat feel like it was being crushed. It hurt so much to just imagine her. They had never been the closest of their little family. The woman however was one of the kindest people he’d ever met and had told him multiple times he wasn’t a burden. He didn’t believe that really, the more time he spent apart from them the more he realised how much they must have sacrificed to take care of him. It was still nice to hear though. 

And now he’d never hear it again, they’d never play Dejarik again, nothing. He was so tired of losing. What did he and his family do to deserve all this? The Runner crew were such good people, so was Leia! Why did the Force punish them so?

Luke got himself together enough to meditate letting the Force share with him his family yes, but also out into space. The movements of the celestial bodies and the coursing energy of a comet. It still took a lot out of him to feel that much let so much pass through him. But there was something about it that let him feel more over time. No pain in a comet, but the Force still sang with it.

There is no death there is the Force. She was pure energy and love now. I didn’t make it much better, but it was important to remember. He couldn't let this consume him, or his buir. There is no death, there is the Force. 

Opening his eyes he saw that the night meal would just have been served. 

He kicked La’ara who sprang up looking and with fear. Luke pulled his shields up as high as possible and with as much fiend confidence he could locate spoke,

“Time to eat.”

La’ara nodded letting out a long breath.

Chapter Text

La’ara

Sitting in the mess hall eating soup made her head spin. There were so many people, like being in a market. La’ara was good with people, it never overwhelmed her in the Force per se, and she could find her way through any place. But with her current level of mind karkery, she didn’t want all these thoughts. They varied in emotional kind. Some people were happy, which felt criminal right now, some were thoroughly depressed and scared, which she didn’t need more of. Was she being bitchy right now? Probably! It karking hurt! 

Losing one of her best friends and mother in such a short period was driving her crazy.

Life had never been quite this overwhelming. Of course, there was her father, not just his death, but his very existence had haunted her childhood. But this wasn’t any better, grief was so karking hard. How do you deal with so much pain? She’d seen how it had nearly crushed Ben, he had gotten a little better near the end of his life, but he still wasn’t the man she imagined him being before. 

Her mother had lost her parents when La’ara was still in the creche. Her loss of her dad had left her terrified for a few months standard. But her life had gotten better . She got her pilot's licence and flew for money getting away from her mother. But buying the StarRunner had given her something she desperately wanted her entire life, a home.

She and her mother had become close for the first time when La’ara had asked her mother to join her. It was lucky her mom had about the same amount of karks about the law as she did. The crazy jobs that had let her meet Alema and Bilia were karking amazing. Her little crew had flown for years, and then she kept running into a tired man and his adorable son. Three times, it was meant to be. Even not knowing she had The Force she had known not to throw that kind of luck away. 

Time with this family had been the best she had ever had. Her past didn’t mean anything when they ate dinner together, dug into Luke’s birthday cakes, flew the comet and everything else. There wasn’t anything she wanted more than to protect them. When they were all together life was good.

But then they left, and what karking happened? Ben died on some stupid battle station and now her mom died trying to be noble and move supplies to forgotten planets that no longer had trade. It was good, protecting people from the Empire's wrath. Saving lives was usually worth the headaches, small blaster wounds and a banged-up ship but was it worth her mother’s life? Was it worth taking her from people who loved her in their bones? 

The only thing they were left with was a body to burn and ashes to spread in space. One last flight for an old spacer like her mother. 

Kark, kriff she muttered then tried her best to focus on the soup. It wasn’t bad, to be honest, not great by any means, but it wasn’t as nasty as mass-produced food often was. But it didn’t do much to retain her attention. She finished it and drank some fruit juice that she’d never had before. It supposedly was fortified with nutrients or something to help keep people in fighting shape.

Looking at her family Alema had eaten nothing staring forlornly into her glass. Bialla had gotten her soup and was snacking on jerky given to help species that ate mostly meat. Luke had eaten all of his soup and the bread and had his eyes closed in thought. Her dear little Jedi looked so serene. 

Taking a long breath she rec-entered. She knew Luke was hurting. His shields weren’t pulled that tight up if he wasn’t feeling like garbage. When he was happy they had space around the edges letting his happiness be infectious. Luke was a grown-ass man now, almost twenty, but all she could see was the youngling who had joined them. A boy who was already so focused on protecting everyone around him, especially his dad. Who had nightmares so loud she could hear them in the next cabin over. Who desperately wanted to shoot blasters and fly. He was a brave kid, dangerous too. But she was never afraid of him, he loved them and that was what would always matter. 

Fate, The Force, Luck, curses from some God or whatever else ran the galaxy had colluded to ensure Luke had everything bad happen to him. The same thing seemed to hit all of her family. Alema ran from a planet she had only just built a life on that was now run by slavers. She is a spacer at heart so she had been down to leave with them, with nothing left to stay for. Bialla had no family left after the separatists had turned her home into a wasteland followed by The Empire strip mining it. 

All of them were running but they stopped when they got in the StarRunner. Even when it was flying it stopped feeling like running. It had felt like she could breathe, now she would only ever feel absence. That’s what losing her mother did. Turned a place of calm and love to the place where they dragged her dead body to the StarRunner so she wasn’t left to rot on the backstreets of a grimy spaceport. 

She was jogged from her thought spiral by Luke bumping her with his shoulder.

“It will hurt forever...”

“Wow that Jedi Wisdom? 

“But,” Luke continued, “you can keep going. For whatever reason you can come up with, you keep going.”

“I know. I have family left, I won't let myself leave you. Body or mind. I won’t abandon you. Not until I can’t stop it.”

“Nor I, you.” Luke agreed, “We're just some spacer kids but we can be brave.”

La’ara half smiled and shook her head, “You’re a prophecy child.”

“It doesn't mean I don't feel like part of me was ripped out when my buir died.”

“Yeah, I know.” 

~~~~~

La’ara had gotten away from the others climbing uninvited to a gun turret and trying to breathe deep, she could do it, she could feel the force. Give herself to the universe in a way that had been feeling right since Ben taught her. She let the energy swirl around her. She felt the sadness of her family on the ship as well as the station teeming with life. 

Her senses reached past the ship feeling the heartbeat of space. She jumped when she heard Ben’s voice. Opening her eyes she saw a spectral version of his face.

“You are very impressive for someone who only learned The Force as an adult.”

“Ben,” she whispered.

“Yes, I needed to tell you something.” He sighed and rubbed his ghost fact with his ghost hand, 

“Your part in this isn’t done. You can’t run. You are one of the bravest people I know, and Alema and Bialla as well. But you’re the one who will know what to do, Luke may be stronger than most Jedi at age nineteen, or any age. He and Leia will need people to have their back if the rebellion isn’t willing to back their ideas. Your visions could also be helpful.”’

“It happened again, Ben. I saw her dying before she did, and I still couldn’t stop it! I got the rest of us out of the buildings but she was too far away. I know we all could have died, but I just don't know what to do! I saved more than died, but that isn’t enough! What is the karking use if she’s still dead?”

“You know well enough now that even if things don’t happen exactly as envisioned the core always comes true.”

“Well that’s karking stupid” La’ara muttered.

“I don’t have a good argument for that.”

She huffed but smiled, “Yeah you of all people know The Force is fond of tossing you around like a dog toy.”

“Now I am part of The Force and I still don’t understand it all.”

“Have you talked to Luke yet?”

“A bit at the Death Sar, but I worry I might make things worse.”

“We'll do it eventually, I won’t tell him we talked, but you can’t leave him alone if you can reach him.”

“Qui Gon made it worse when he first called and gave Luke the worst hero complex.”

“Good to know drama runs in your lineage.”

“Trust what you see, and trust Luke. And of course, you're hurting but that doesn't have to make you a mess like it did to me. You and Luke are strong.”

“Making me stop caring for him might as well be impossible.”

The presence and voice were gone and La’ara let out a growl. She hated The Force sometimes. It was still good to know it was sanctioned by The Force that she was meant to help Luke. Leaving him alone forever was something she wasn’t sure she could do. 

~~~~~

All of them were woken by Luke rushing from his bunk and tripping on her. Looking him up and down his tunic was askew, hair unbrushed, and unlaced boost. She wondered what had him so hyped up.

“What’s the rush kid?” Bialla yawned as she sat up.

“Leia, Chewbacca and Han are back. They’re the usual crew on this ship remember? Well, Chewie honestly does the best work, Artooie as well. I try to help too but I still haven’t gotten in sync. You have to get in the right headspace to properly maintain a temperamental ship like the Flacon.”

“Think they’ll kick us out?” Alema wondered aloud.

“I think we can gang up on Han and keep you at least till you guys have your ship ready, and she is pretty low on the triage to be fixed,” Luke explained, hands nervously wringing. 

“Not your fault kid. Go greet your friends, we'll get some caff and clean up our stuff.” La’ara waved him out the door. 

Luke nodded and walked more calmly through the door. She was ninety per cent sure that he had started to run after he left the cabin. 

Not long after two humans and Wookie came through the door. Leia had hair up in braids that were frizzing pretty badly. Her pants had dirt and so did her boots. Clearly, she had just come from a mission, her face was flushed as well. From exertion, embarrassment or excitement was to be determined. Though she wouldn’t ask as she noticed the blaster holstered on her hip

Solo had an outfit that screamed overconfident spacer with the tricky grin and all. For now, she’d say nothing as she clocked the blaster on his hip. And whether the confidence was backed up by being a quick draw and accurate shot. He wasn’t particularly impressive now or before but no reason to test him. 

The Wookie had a bandolier and a blaster bow in one hand, but she wouldn’t provoke any Wookie as while they were loyal, supportive and very clever. Not to mention the sheer size difference meant he could take her crew without the weapons. 

So overall this was not a group that she didn’t want to get on the bad side of. And of course, she wouldn’t cause trouble ‘cause Leia was Luke’s sister. And he was currently looking at the both of them like they hung the stars. He could also possibly have a crush on Solo. Even if she was his sister if it turned out they were hurting Luke they would end up dead on their ship, Wookie strength be damned. Her family had been hurt enough for multiple lifespans . There had been nothing she could do much about anymore. But she'd keep her little family safe as much as she could. Not only that now she knew she had to get them whatever they wanted. Chiefly long happy as possible life. 

La’ara righted herself and smiled, “Hi I’m Captain La’ara of the StarRunner. We met briefly after the Battle of Yavin''

“Yeah, Luke told me you’re crashing for a bit while your ship gets cleaned up.” Leia nodded. 

“He’s a good kid,” Alema said as she and Bialla came over.

“Trouble incarnate more like it,” Bialla said with a lopsided grin.

“Well, that too. And your names are? We haven’t had the pleasure to meet yet.” Leia addressed her remaining crew.

“I’m Bialla and that’s Alema. We’ve been La’ara’s crew since we were young.” Bialla answered.

“You’re not that old.” Alema chastised. 

“Only saying that because you're older than I am.” Bialla joked. 

“Well since Luke told me nicely you guys can stay till your ship is livable.” Han Solo said, yawning, “I’m going to sleep. Wake me up when there is a morning meal.”

The Wookie made a series of noises that struck La’ara as the same exhaustion his captain had shown. 

“He says nice to meet you but he’s gonna sleep,” Han called back over his shoulder as Chewbacca followed him. 

They were left with only Leia who was making meaningful eye contact with Luke. Their sibling magic and Force magic would be quite formidable wonder twins. She smiles genuinely now at Luke’s concentrated face. It was the same as when he was a toddler on the stolen ranch systems away. Her eyes were stinging with tears. Ben over the years had become one of her best friends, even if they hadn’t been around each other for a year before his death, it didn’t matter. She’d felt it and everything, the absence would never go away. And the young man in front of her had lost every parental figure he’d ever had. And she knew that so intimately. Losing both her parents made her want to vomit the way it wrenched her insides in a way nothing else ever had, if she was lucky, ever would. Hopefully, she’d die before the others did. She didn’t want to die. She’d like to make it through this war if it's at all possible. And so would the rest of the StarRunner crew. 

She wondered if Alema would want to put down roots, probably not with anyone. That wasn’t what she’d ever expressed interest in just like La’ara. Dating wasn’t something either of them ever cared for. Bialla might if she had time to stay still. Their happy ending was never going to be the same anymore. Always family but La’ara wondered if she had more years of spacing left in her. Take a break and stay still, sleep. 

The stars would always be her home now The Force as well. Maybe she could help Luke build new places for baby Jedi. La’ara was pretty sure Luke would want to teach more Force-Sensitive people to harness their powers. It would suit him too, his heart was so big. Though he’d have to get someone to help him go through any Jedi literature. Luke would love teaching them to jump up walls, meditate and do fancy forms. How that would play out in reality she had no idea. But she would give everything she had for Luke and all the scared Force-sensitive kids in the galaxy to have a safe place to be. Like The Runner had been for her, somewhere where the cruelty and confusion of the galaxy couldn't touch you

“Could we talk alone for a minute?” Leia asked, nodding to La’ara.

“Sure.” La’ara shrugged, pointing at her friends, “You two behave.”

“When don’t we?” Alema said, shaking her head. 

Leia led her to the passenger cabin with two bunks on one side and some storage on the other. 

“What’s up with Luke?” Leia asked as she sat down, hands clasped in her lap.

“Oh, I guess you haven’t had time to hear. My mother, who Luke’s known for years, died.”

“I’m so sorry La’ara. I just lost my parents. I'm so sorry.”

“Yeah, it’s not fun for sure. But it’s nice that we can all be together for a bit. I’m glad we were able to tell Luke in person.”

“That’s good to know. I just worry for him.” Leia said, moving her hands so they were planted firmly on the bunk.

La’ara lowered herself to the floor her legs folded crisscross under her, “You can join the club kid.”

“I’m not a kid.” Leia said, her eyes still soft, “I’m nineteen, and I don't think you are still a kid after your planet is destroyed.”

“Yes, I get that. Childhood ends pretty strongly when your entire world is taken out from under you.”

“Well, I agree. But I do want to know what Luke was like, as a kid I mean.”

“He was a good kid. Generally, listen when told, some teenage rebellion, of course, hormones and all. But the worst he ever did was some shouting and hiding in his bedroom.”

Leia nodded but said nothing. 

“He loves the galaxy with every ounce of him! That makes him vulnerable. So do you know if you are going to take advantage of that I will kill you, you get that right?”

Leia smiled, “I would expect nothing less of his family.”

“He’s strong too, he’s gone through hell and came out the other side of it. Fighting, going on missions, flying, he’s great at all of it. So you have a good person on your side. Both in the way he can beat most people hand to hand but also in that he loves and wants the best for people. He is naturally empathetic. But his buir taught him, us, that The Force is love. So even when he can struggle to communicate and whatever he believes in protecting people.”

“Luke is scary too though. There is a look in his eyes. I guess I was wondering if you knew where that came from.” Leia said, biting her lip. 

“I believe that. He’s a hurricane kid. I won’t pretend he’s not, it’s The Force in him, in all of the Jedi. When the world bends to you like that, it changes you. And he leans into it, believes The Force wants him to do things. Not to mention growing up on the run, and having the buir he had. Ben was a good man, Leia, but Luke was taking care of him. So just yes he’s dangerous, but only if someone hurts someone he loves.”

“Thank you.” Leia let a bit of tension leave her shoulders. 

“Well, I appreciate his sister taking care of him when we can’t.”

Leia stood up grabbing La’ara by her jacket, “How you karking know that!”

“Luke told us.”

“Have you told anyone else?”

“No just the four...three of us. We would never tell people that could hurt Luke.

”

Leia let her hands fall and she leaned her head on the other woman’s chest. La’ara felt the young princess shake and felt tears spill onto her shirt.

Chapter Text

Leia

Leia was so embarrassed crying into a complete stranger's clothes. But now that her tears had started she couldn’t stop herself. She felt an uncertain pat on her back.

“I’m sorry,” Leia mumbled, cheeks burning. 

“Look kid, crying isn’t something to be ashamed of. You’ve been through a lot . Not to mention you smell like dirt, sweat and blaster fire.”

“Taking down an imperial mining and communication site.” 

“Good to know, I suppose it went well considering you’re not dead.”

“I had to send some soldiers to hold it but nothing that’s going to weaken us largely.”

“Just come home to Luke okay?” The captain said, holding Leia’s shoulders. Captain La’ara’s eyes burned and Leia could see the air shimmering around her. Cocking her head Leia stepped back keeping an eye on the air. The shimmering felt warm and safe.

“You have The Force,” Captain La’ara said with a nod, not a question.

“Because I'm Luke's sister?” Leia looked back at the woman looking for deception or judgement.

“Yeah. But more so you have that expression Luke and Ben got. It feels like someone is staring into your soul. Which I guess you are. I can get feelings from people. But not the way they could.”

The Captain was Force Sensitive. It was so strange to meet someone else who had The Force. She’d only ever known Luke. Especially since this Force-sensitive person wasn't a Jedi. Maybe something she could do. Leia didn’t want to be a Jedi; she was going to lead people, and this stupid karking hole in her wouldn’t be filled with emotions that felt suffocating. She wanted to fill it with life. But having some control of The Force might be useful, and connect her to her birth father. She might not know him but if he was a Jedi then he must have loved The Force as much as Luke did. 

“I’ve never seen it like this. I’m good at reading people, and I can tell what’s going on under Luke’s expressions. But... this...this is new.” Leia explained. 

“I don’t think it’s a bad thing, Leia. I’ll never be as in tune with everything the way you and Luke will. I can’t see people that way. But I know that once I grasped The Force I was better able to handle my visions.”

“I don’t really get those,”

“Hopefully The Force will not give you them. You don’t need to know the future, it isn’t always a good place to be.”

The Captain let out a long breath and then met Leia’s eyes with a half smile. 

“Can you send Luke back?” Leia asked, rocking on her feet just a bit.

“‘Course princess, anything for family.”

Leia wondered if she was being included in that family label; the idea of having more family after everything she lost made her heart clench.

“What’s up?” Luke asked, walking into the cabin.

“Do you think she is including me in her family?” The question spilt from Leia's mouth.

“Probably, you’re my family so you probably get to be family, even if you’re not her crew.”

“Why would that matter?”

“Crew is family for them. They love as fiercely as possible, you can feel it on them.”

“I could feel La’ara, could see her shimmering.”

“Makes sense, you’re getting more in tune. It’s good you can judge people better. You understand now how I described how all of you are feeling?”

“Somewhat. She was solid and warm, it was nice.”

“She has been like that since I was a youngling.”

“That’s good. She speaks very highly of you and your dad.”

Luke half smiled, “I’m glad she thinks well of us. We were a bit of a mess, a liability to them. Especially before I was a good fighter.”

“You’re such a karking drama queen Luke.” Leia shook her head, “People like you. You don’t have to believe you suck all the time.”

"I am a mess, I do what I can but it is amazing people do like me."

"You're just afraid of losing them, pretend you're not good enough then it hurts less when you can't be with them,” Leia said her tone bitter and acidic/

“Kark that. You are afraid of loss just as much if not more than I am.” Luke shot back.

“Yes, I am. I’m nervous about being with you and with Han. About protecting people.” Leia furiously wiped the tears forming in her eyes. “I want people to be safe, I want to be respected. But that isn’t the same.”

“How is it not the same?”

“I’m not on a perpetual suicide mission”

Luke looked hurt and she saw his Force signature almost tremble before it solidified and it felt colder than it had before, “Maybe not maybe you have some karking self-worth. But don’t pretend you don’t understand what it’s like to feel like you’re caught in a whirlwind.”

Kark she hadn’t really meant to hurt him. She shook her head, thought for a second and nodded, he wasn’t wrong. Getting herself to do what she had to was possible if hard. But she had been afraid to leave Luke and that Han had come with her. She was so nervous before dropping planet side. It was normal to be afraid. But the problem was more the loss. She didn’t think she’d ever not feel a pit in her stomach after what The Empire had stolen from her. Getting a life was her goal, even without them she wanted love, she wanted to find a new home, and she wanted Luke to be there. Maybe get drinks with friends, be there to bury Mon Mothma when she is old and grey. Built a new galaxy where people suffered less. She had to hold on to those dreams, if she didn’t then she would fall into that pit and never get out.

“I understand loss and fear, Luke. But I know I’m bigger than it, and I can’t let it kill me, Luke. I have to be better than that. Use my anger and fear and not let it eat me.” 

“I get that Leia, you lost so much and I’m so impressed by you.”

“Little brother, I love you too.” Leia stood and kissed his cheek.

“I’m taller than you.”

“Doesn’t matter I’m the big sibling, by vibes.”

Luke smiled at her and wrapped her in a hug. “Leia I love you too.”

“You better.”

Leia’s comm buzzed and she picked it up and answered, “Leia Organa.”

“You haven’t come for a debrief yet.”

“Right sorry checking in on the Falcon.”

“Just get here.”

“Coming.”

“I have to go.” Leia apologised to Luke, somewhat happy that she didn’t have to consider that Luke had not in fact refuted that he was on a suicide mission. 

She made her way through the halls before coming to the command centre. Nodding her head to the generals. 

“Hello, Major Organa.” Mon Mothma said.

“Sorry?” Leia’s eyes went wide.

“We realised you had no rank. But you have proven yourself, and your ability to lead is unparalleled, having been running aid missions and more for years already. Not to mention you have the respect of our soldiers.” Mon Mothma explained. 

“Not just because of my father?” Leia asked softly. 

“Your father was an amazing man, Leia. He never held a rank like this, his status as Senator was what he carried through the war. You are different Leia. You have proven yourself in your own way as a great member of our army.” General Dodonna explained.

“Thank you.” 

“No need to thank us, Leia. We need you in this fight, and you are strong enough to lead. And we are not giving you a present, we are giving you responsibility.” General Dodonna explained. 

“I will meet your expectations, I will help,” Leia replied standing as straight as possible anxiety and pride buzzing in her stomach.

“Of course you will.” Mon Mothma said and gave Leia’s shoulder a squeeze.

“Now tell us everything about this last mission,” Dodonna said.

~~~~~

Leia was exhausted when she arrived in the mess hall. She was glad to see the tables shoved together to make a table big enough for both the crews of The StarRunner and The Falcon. Her body continued to buzz as She got her flatbread dish and sat down with her friends. 

“Everything okay Leia?” Luke asked, eyebrow cocked

“I was made a Major in the army,” Leia replied, unable to keep a smile from her face.

“Kriff, that's awesome,” Luke said, kicking her leg under the table. 

“Wow, now I am not only friends with weird magic people now I have to be friends with a stiff.” Han joked.

“Hey.” Leia said, “I’m your boss now.”

“I’m not enlisted princess.” Han drawled. 

“We aren’t either so you can’t boss us around. We’re a bunch of criminals.” Biala said, knocking Leia on her shoulder, a sign of affection that made Leia blush. 

Making eye contact with Bialal Leia was forced to recognize that she was a very pretty Togruta. Her eyes were bright and her soft smile was very cute. Her long Lekku and Montrals were a very pretty orange. Leia blushed brighter and took a too big bite of her wrap causing her to take a huge drink of water to keep it from sticking in her throat. 

“Technically you're a criminal by The Empire Leia. Rebel and everything” Luke said, tilting his head.

“Yes, but I'm a proper Major now. You are all smugglers.”

“Guilty as charged.” La’ara and Han said in unison. 

A groan escaped Leia’s mouth. Why were these people such losers? She liked them, but still. 

~~~~~

Leia sat in with the command team learning about each step the rebellion was going to have to take. It was tiring and her eyes hurt from staring at the holo table. She typed furiously on her datapad but she really wanted to take a break, they had worked through the midday meal. But more so Leia just wanted to close her eyes. 

Of course, it didn’t matter, the higher generals were explaining how they were going to split the gathered teams and try and keep some soldiers in reserve while they had some small strike teams. Leia was wondering if she was going to get any kind of command. It was hard to know what would and wouldn't happen in the unpredictability of fighting a war. 

“Major Organa.” General Dodanna said Leia’s head moved quickly to meet his gaze, “You will go with the reserve team to Hoth. Keep everyone in line as well as run some reconnaissance in that sector of the galaxy."

“Of course.” Leia nodded, 

“You can bring Skywalker, Chewbacca and Solo with you.” Mon Mothma added.

Suppressing a smile Leia stood as still as possible in her spot before being dismissed. 

Part of her wanted to go tell Luke and Han about them staying together but she was more hungry and wanted to give Luke as much time with his family before they had to leave. So she made her way to the mess and took some of the leftover food in the boxes. She sat down and wondered what was about to happen.

The trust being put in her was gratifying. She’d wanted this, to be considered a part of everything, to be respected as more than just her father’s daughter. Not that she wasn’t proud of her father, he was the person she looked up to more than anyone else. His bravery had led to the death of a planet, she couldn’t let herself do the same to the rebellion. Blaming him for that utter destruction was not even an option when he was doing his best to save everyone. She blamed The Empire , her hand tightened around her fork and her body felt hot. There was an anger she didn’t think would ever go away, not really. But she would let it drive her to do what was necessary. To save who she could and build something better. Make her able to see the galaxy free and know she had a hand in making it that way. 

Grief couldn’t paralyse her and it hadn’t, she had done what she thought was right and saved lives. She had taken some too, but that’s war. Nothing was going to stop her from making kriff better; it was her karking goal. Then she would get to live in that galaxy. 

The anger still simmered in her stomach making the food on her plate taste funny but she pushed through it and then walked slowly to The Falcon. Suddenly she was unsure if they were going to want to go. Luke had his family now, would he want to go to a forsaken place like Hoth? A bit of fear gripped her heart and she almost stumbled. So the fear of loneliness still triped her up. The very idea of not having her brother or friends with her was too much to think about. 

But she had to face it.

The door to the ship opened and she walked in holding her head high, princess mode. Only Luke was in the room tossing what looked like a training droid between his hands. 

“Hello,” She said.

“What’s wrong?” Luke jumped to his feet moving to her faster than should be possible and took her hands.

“I...I got a new mission.” Leia explained awkwardly. 

“What? Is it dangerous? You feel afraid.” Luke said also faster than should be possible.

“No, it’s fine, taking some reserve soldiers to Hoth and keeping an eye on the sector.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad, but that’s not what’s bothering you.”

“You and Han and Chewie can come with me. The droids too I think.”

“But that sounds good? I promise Han and I won’t be much of a bother”

“You don't want to stay with The StarRunner crew?”

“They got some new orders as well, The Runner is up and can get moving now.” Luke let go of her hands. 

“That's good.” Leia breathed out and felt bad that relief washed over her.

“Yeah. I’m going to miss them, Leia. But their mission isn’t any more than Hoth going to get me to Vader. And I'm not ready yet. I think once I am my buir’s spirit will talk to me.”

“I’m glad you will be with me,” Leia said with a half smile.

“Coming back to you is what I need to do. I can’t leave you until it’s necessary.”

A twinge of frustration and fear made her voice come out sharp, “And it won’t be necessary until you are old and grey.”

Luke shook his head and a look that was too close to pity came across his face, “I have to do what I have to do Leia.”

“I know. But don’t throw yourself on your sabre.”

“Not planning on it.” He said. 

It was a lie .

Threepio and Artoo came in with Threepio who had a bit of grease on his shiny body.

“What were you two doing?” Luke asked. 

Artoo whistled and beeped and Luke nodded his head in understanding, “Han told them to work on the ship to keep it in running condition considering it’s been idling for a long time now.”

“Oh, thank you,” Leia said with a tired smile at how cute Artoo was. 

“Pleasure mistress Leia,” Threepo said.

 Leia told them “You will be coming with us to Hoth.”

“That is quite the cold place,” Threepio said.

“Sure but I don't want to give you to anyone else,” Leia explained. Silly Dorid was part of home and the odd affection she had meant she really didn't want to never see them again.

“Of course, I will stay with you," Threepio agreed.

“Where are Han and Chewie?”

“They were invited to a gathering by some soldiers,” Threepio informed them. 

“Great, how drunk do you think he is going to be?” Luke asked Leia.

“Oh very,” Leia said grinning.

~~~~~

Han was in the common area drinking caff eyebrows knit.

“So fun night?” Leia asked, pouring herself a cup. 

“No loud noises.”

Leia rolled her eyes, “Just so you know you and Chewie have been assigned to come with me and Luke to Hoth.

“What the Sith hells is on Hoth?”Han asked loudly

“Nothing, but that’s kind of the point,” Leia explained. 

“So what will I be doing?”

“Waiting for some kind of strike force to be sent somewhere probably.”

“Fun,” Han muttered into his cup.

“Just come okay?”

“I could leave you know. The heat might be off of me by now.” Han said his tone was sharp.

“Then leave.”Leia snapped.

“I don’t know you’ve put me in the crosshairs of The Empire and I’m already in the kriff with Jabba.”

“Just said the heat was off you.”

“Shut up.” Han sighed.

“Never.” Leia countered.

Han gave her a smile though and she felt heat in her cheeks. He was cute and it was not good. She had karking things she had to do! She was a Major now people were counting on her. She could not be thinking this stupid Nerf Herder was cute! But he was cute. And she very much wished that he thought the same thing about her. He was hot even if he threatened to leave he’d come back and help them. Kept their secret. He might be a flirt but he wasn’t a bad guy, not really. And she could feel that he wasn’t the worst, he felt nice, a little flamboyant but nice all the same.

“You can tell me what to do all you want princess. But I do what I want, and no one could say anything different.”

“If you say so.”

“I do,” Han said as he stepped way too close to her.

So Leia stomped on his foot. Just because he was cute didn’t mean he got to invade her personal space. 

~~~~~

Leia was called to another meeting giving her all of the Data and instructions they had on her data pad and being verbally briefed. 

Explaining everything she had just learned to the detachment she was in charge of along with Luke and a hungover Han. It was easy enough to tell them, answering questions sucked as she only just learned what she was in charge of doing. But there was almost something calming about it. She was used to being in charge of people and explaining granular details. Being a junior senator, and princess and running the relief missions taught her how to do this kind of thing. It wasn’t always easy by any means but it at least didn’t have her feeling disconnected or about to cry. 

Luke was happy to learn he’d be flying his X-Wing along with most of the other pilots who all seemed to calm down with this knowledge. But she supposed pilots were like that. Everyone had a place that made them feel competent even in the whirlwind of the war. 

The meeting broke up and most people were headed to the mess. She was stopped by La’ara who jerked her head in the opposite direction. Leia complied and followed her to the hanger bay and they went into the StaRunner and Leia sat on the bench in the main room.

“This is home” La’ara said and shivered, “Won’t ever be the same now.”

Everything felt warm to Leia. Both the air itself and also something she thought must be The Force. Melancholic almost. There was sadness but also layers and layers of love.

“You don’t like it?”

“No you don’t understand, I love it, it’s been my home for decades. Karking best place in the galaxy if you ask me. But now there will always be grief in here too. And it’s sad, that it won’t only be love now.”

“I’m sorry,” Was all Leia could get out. She didn’t know what to say, now she felt awkward and tongue-tied. 

“We're heading out. I told Luke to get here in a little while, so I could tell you something.”

“What?”

“Make sure Luke teaches you walls okay? I didn’t notice it as much the first time we talked but I realised it over the past few cycles. You don’t hide things enough. I’m only good at a few Force things but I'm sure Luke would be willing to teach you. ”

“He’s mentioned similar stuff about hiding thoughts and feelings.”

“Good. I also need to ask you to look after him as best you can.”

“I’ll do my best.”

“And come home to him okay? He needs a break from loss.”

“Yeah, I know that feeling.”

Chapter Text

Luke

Luke stood in his and his Buir’s cabin looking at his toys sitting on the bunk his tooka droid powdered down. He took the stuffed animals and put them into his bag. The feeling they gave off was still pure and warm. 

He felt La’ara coming to the cabin. She was fretful but still strong as ever. Grief might swath her in sadness but it didn’t break her. Like Leia, she was made of stronger stuff than Luke ever could be. Luke just had to be strong enough to save everyone though. If his buir could die by suicide by Sith Lord maybe Luke should just do the same. 

“You’re leaving me,” Luke said, looking over his shoulder and making eye contact with La’ara. 

“Luke, you left first.” She said quietly.

A choking noise escaped his mouth, “Sure, maybe. But that’s what happens, I lose people.”

“Well, that’s life,”

“I know that. There is no death, there is The Force.”

“Yeah.” She took his hand and squeezed it, “You’re going to be okay.”

“It doesn’t matter, I just have to be able to complete my goals.”

“Live, Luke. You have to live.”

“What does that mean?” Luke turned all the way around taking both of her hands. His body hurt, he felt so karking tired.

“You don’t have to do anything. You don’t owe the galaxy anything, you haven’t done anything wrong.”

“But protecting people is important, saving people matters.”

“Of course, it matters! But you matter too, just save people but don’t forget to save yourself as well.”

“Save myself from what?”

“You're karking martyr complex kid.”

Luke felt so small staring at his shoes. Even if he was taller than her now he still felt like the youngling she taught to shoot. Such a solid presence she wavered a bit the grief strong and possessive but underneath that it still was steady. The core of her would always be comforting to him. But she didn’t understand, he had to save people and if he died that was that. He didn’t deserve to live if he couldn't defeat Vader . 

“Just, please, let people help you,” La’ara said voice cracking as she let go of his hands.

“I’ll do what I need to.”

A strangled noise escaped La’ara’s mouth and she stepped back and used her hand to tilt Luke’s head so their eyes met. 

“Love you, Luke”

“Love you too,” Luke replied. 

He left his old cabin, gave Alema and Bialla hugs and then walked out. Going back to his room it felt like the hallways were turning around him, everything felt tight and his body ached. Tears weren’t flowing but his eyes burned. He just wanted to sleep. The assaulting of his brain by the energy of everyone around him and the stress that was written on the walls made his body feel too heavy to move. 

Finally getting to The Falcon he breathed rough and fast and sat on the floor.

“You okay kid?” Han asked him, tilting his head.

“Do I look okay?” Luke snapped. 

“Wow, I didn't do anything to you.”

“No, but you ask stupid questions.”

“Fine” Han threw his hands up and went to the cabinet and poured a shot of Hyper Vodka. He passed it down to Luke.

Taking it he downed it quickly and passed it up and Han obliged with a refill. Alcohol wasn’t going to solve anything but it felt good to burn and he wanted the world to smooth over and not have to feel so much. Everything in this stupid karking station was oppressive. He steeled himself leaning on The Force to hold him in a sitting position and not just flat pass out. 

Leia walked in and crossed her arms.

“Aren’t we leaving soon?”

“Luke’s having a day.” Han shrugged, “And we're leaving in another two cycles.f”

“Well okay, Luke isn’t flying he can get sloshed.”

"“Leia,” Luke said, standing on tired legs. Her determination and anxiety filled the room. “It’s going to be okay.”

“Right.” Leia said, “Will you be?”

“I just need to sleep.”

“Do that, we might need some help getting ready to fly.”

She gave him a half smile before leading Han to the cockpit to give him the coordinates. 

He made his way to their cabin and flopped heavily on the bed. He took his pillow and screamed into it kicking his feet. The overwhelmedness was in his bones. Putting the pillow back under his head he breathed as deep as he could and brought his pulse down. Let The Force be over him. Strange how sometimes The Force felt like it was driving him mad but now it was calming him down. Connection to Chewie, Leia and Han was warm and familiar. Closing his mind to the station he was able to feel the stars. The Force generally came from living things, but the stars were just as powerful in The Force. 

His body was still so tired it hurt but his mind melted into the galaxy. Exhaustion finally overtook him and he was dragged under.

~~~~~

Waking up Luke was glad to have had no visions. He stumbled slightly as walked; he was still tired, eyes blurring over. Pulling on The Force again he was able to bring himself into being awake fully enough his eyes unblurred.

He met Leia sitting at the table scrolling through a table and greeted him without looking up, 

“Hey.”

“Hi,” Luke replied. 

“So did sleep fix your problems?”

“I think being away from the station for a while will help.”

“The flight is only a few cycles, you think you're going to be okay when you get there?” She said and finally met his eyes. 

“I’ll be fine. I think without having the Runner crew around the grief will be easier”

“You have to figure yourself out, Luke. I can’t have you useless.”

Luke could swear he felt his hair stand up, “I’ll be your good little soldier Major Oragana. I have to help people, I won't throw myself off a building if that’s what you're worried about.”

“Woah Luke. Calm the kark down.”

“Sorry. I just need you to know I will always do my best to help you. My karked up brain can wait.”

“Good.” She nodded. "I believe you, Luke. I’m good at lies and you're not.”

“The Force?”

“No, a politician for a parent.”

He smiled at that and started a pot of caff, “Want some?”

“Always.” She agreed and a real smile returned. 

The drinks were served and they sat in companionable silence. Han came out pouring himself a cup without even greeting them. He sat heavily next to Luke, a few sips in he seemed to land back in his body and focused on them.

“Okay, Luke?”

“I’m good.”

“You too Leia? With the new fancy title?”

“Yes Han, I'm ready for the responsibility.”

“Never said you weren’t. How’d I end up with the most neurotic twins in the whole galaxy.”

His grasp on The Force wavered, he had to let himself sync back up, reality was not keen on letting him be calm. Luke shook his head putting his cup down.

Ignoring funny looks he sat on the floor breathed in and focused on The Force rushing into and around him. Letting his shield be open. His mind shifted and he could see everything. The danger was far away and the galaxy felt safe just like it should be. Pulsing with the waves of asteroids, starships and beings. It was everything. Each time he tried this it got better. It didn’t fill his head to the brim anymore

But it did make his whole body wake up and calm down at the same moment. Life, it was life of the galaxy for lightyears in every direction. There is no emotion, there is peace.

~~~~~

A few hours after the coffee Luke sat with his sister helping her calm her breath. Helping her close her Force signature off as much as possible. Training her to not react to The Force coming into her felt counter to what he would want to do. But it was safer to just close off.

“It shouldn’t feel too bad to disconnect. You don’t actively use The Force very much, only really using it to gauge people.”

“I wish you could teach me to do more. It would be nice to have a little more power at my side.”

“Thought you didn’t want to be a Jedi?”

“I don’t. I have shit to do other than run around trying to martyr myself.”

“That’s not everything about being a Jedi. It’s about protecting people, loving people, being one with the galaxy around you.”

“I know Luke. I do. My parents had a high respect for the Jedi even if they barely mentioned you all.”

“Knowing Senator Organa liked us is nice. I know he loved our mother, biological mother I mean.”

“How do you know that?”

“I met him once and he called me a Naberrie, I kept using it.”

“Why? Why not our dad’s?”

“I did use it when I was on Tatooine. But I thought you might know the name, and people around the Rebellion would respect it.” He stopped, he’d honestly just felt it was right like he had to, “ and I just wanted to.”

“Skywalker is a cooler name.”

“Maybe, but I know that using Nabrrie is right for me.”

“It’s fine Luke. I think it’s sweet.”

“People, besides your dad, always knew our father, no one ever knew my mom. I mean if they thought my buir was my biological dad they always tried to guess who my mom was. She is never remembered. But she was a good woman.”

“Beloved on her home planet.”

Luke smiled at that, home, what a fickle concept. The Runner had been his first and only home, and he didn’t think it ever wouldn’t be. Finding some other home didn’t seem like it was likely to happen. His sister’s emotions shifted a darkness wrapping around her. 

“I’m sorry Leia, I’m so sorry you lost Aldarran.”

“Me too.”

“You can find another home. It won’t be the same, but you won’t always be unmoored.”

“Thank you. It’s my parents that hurt the most.”

“I can’t replace them. But you can still have a family.”

“You’re right, I will have that. Because I’m stronger than Vader and the Emperor.”

“Better, stronger and much more beautiful.” He said giving her a lopsided smile and she answered it by kicking his leg.

~~~~~

The morning they were leaving Luke was fixing the hyperdrive with Artooie helping him finsh. This ship was in a perpetual state of breaking making the checks take twice as long as they did on the StarRunner. The problem today was that it was giving him time to think. Thinking might not be a strong enough word. It wasn’t a thought, it was a feeling, the cold oppressive feeling of Vader . A level of emptiness curled in his stomach and strangled his throat. Stopping for a moment he breathed letting the strength of the stars wash over him. It was the only thing he could hang on to. Everything else felt in flux, death was around every corner. But the stars would never leave, even if they went supernova, stars would still exist. 

The universe would always thrum with the vibration of planets, stars and asteroids. 

Finishing his job he stood off and patted Artoo on the head and took a deep breath. His body was tired but his mind was calm. He was able to slide into his place in the galaxy. Luke walked to Leia who was furiously going through her data pad taking notes on another. He patted her on the shoulders, 

“How are we doing?”

Leia jumped and turned to face him, “I’m fine.”

Her energy in The Force and her eyes were frantic. “No, you’re not, how are you?”

“I’m trying to get ready to be part of the command. I’m part of the army proper now.”

“Okay,” He sat next to her, “you will be okay.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I don’t, but I know you well enough now to believe you’re prepared and skilled enough to do this.”

“But I have to prove it.”

“You don’t have anything to prove, Leia, it’s only your job to do your best.” The irony of echoing the words of La’ara was not lost on Luke. 

“Rich coming from the boy who thinks it’s his job to take out a karking Sith lord.”

“I don’t think so, I know it.”

“Fine, sure. But if you're allowed to be all weird and stressed then I do too. My planet was blown up.”

“Okay, okay” Luke took her hand passing calming energy over to her, her shoulders dropped and her breathing evened. 

“Not fair.” But she smiled.

“I can’t say things will be easy, or that you won’t lose more. But you’ve told me of your plans and dreams. And this is just a step towards that.”

“I have people.”

“And you will do your best. The Force is love Leia, and your love of your people will guide you.”

She shook her head but shut her data pads down and leaned onto his shoulder. Luke felt close to safety as their breath and hearts matched. There was no danger bearing down on him; the threats were far away and so was the Dark Side. It was nice, it was as close to home or safety as he was going to get. 

~~~~~

Luke hugged his sister, "Don't worry, I'll be there as soon as you guys."

"But you could die!" Leia insisted. 

"So could we," Han said with a cheeky smile. 

"We will just take it one thing at a time." Luke calmed. 

Did he feel calm? No, he did not. But it was going to be okay, there was no emotion, there is peace. 

Artoo rolled at his heels and beeped reassuringly. Telling Luke he was excited to fly again. Luke smiled softly and let his mind float above his body. There is serenity. He had to hold on to The Force, hold on to the Jedi. Knowing he would be alone for a very long time. 

Sitting in the cockpit he powered up the ship and punched in the coordinates. It was going to be so long before they got there. Enough that he was going to be thirsty and hungry. 

Flying was honestly calmer and more peaceful, maybe better. He let his breath become steady and let the hyperspace inter him. It was hard to explain what it felt like. But there was something about it that made him feel infinite.

Chapter Text

Han

The flight wouldn’t be too long, but even in Hyperspeed, he would have to deal with Chewbacca making fun of him for thinking Leia was attractive non-stop. They did sleep a bit off and on giving them time to not deal with each other, but in hyperspace no one had to spend all of the time at the helm. 

Almost to the end of the flight he found himself confronted with Princess Leia. As he was filling up a cup of caff when Leia walked over holding out her mug to Han. 

“Can I help you?” He asked, turning to her. 

“More Caff.” she said, shaking her mug. 

“I don’t work for you.”

“No, but you are next to the pot.”

“Okay, Okay I’ll fill her up.” He said with a sigh filling it up.

“Thank you, Han.” She said, taking a gulp.

He shrugged and took his own sip. They stood there awkwardly and he played it as cool as possible. 

“I’m worried about Luke,” Leia said barely audibly. 

“Yeah, but the kid is tough as durasteel.”

“He’s also fragile as flimsy”

“He can fly well, you know it. And if he can blow up a Death Star he can shoot anything.”

“But you were helping him blow up the Death Star!”

“If he drops out of hyperspace next to a destroyer he might have a problem, but we would be in a situation as well. If he’s facing that we are going to as well. We all probably die. ”

“True,” Leia said, her lips quarking up a bit.

“So don’t worry about him, let’s worry about ourselves.”

“We do have to continuously fix this bucket of bolts.”

“The Falcon is a good ship. Sorry, it’s not as fancy as you’re used to princess.”

“I’ve spent a long time on this ship now, Han. I haven’t had a princess ship since before we ever met.” Leia stomped her feet, hands on her hips. 

“So you’d think you would be a little nicer to her.”

“Yes, The Falcon has been perfectly...functional.” She said her cheeks flushed but her eyes still communicated she was not feeling good.

“I definitely bet on Luke getting to Hoth perfectly fine, well as fine as he was when we left the station.”

“The odds are good?”

“Absolutely.”

He gave her an awkward half hug which she returned. Letting go he felt his own face flush and Leia was red as fruit 

They stood in not too awkward silence finishing their drinks. 

“I have some work to do.”

“Go ahead, Commander.” He gave her a mock salute and she rolled her eyes grabbing her data pad and letting out a long sigh.

~~~~~

Han landed the ship smoothly, Leia jumping off the moment it was safe, to go do some important army things. He couldn’t pretend he wasn’t feeling a bit off about all of this. Luke was off being a Jedi and Leia a Major, and he was still just a smuggler helping the Rebellion for some stupid reason he couldn’t even name. 

Part of it is Chewie would pitch a fit if he tried to leave. Chewie wanted to help and Han didn’t hate the cause of the rebellion. He didn’t like the Empire, they took slaves and destroyed planets. Both by blowing them up and resources stripping them till there was nothing left. So he wasn’t against overthrowing it and starting over. But playing a cog in a machine and fighting off giant space stations were not his speed. Han liked being the boss of himself, not putting himself at the mercy of systems. So it was a razor-thin edge of staying here. 

Well, maybe not. There was of course the fact of him wanting to stay with Leia and Luke because he liked them. They were stupidly likeable. He karking wanted to not have the need to be with them but he did. In different ways, he wanted to kark Leia till they both came and she wanted to sleep in his arms so he could keep her safe. He wanted to try and make sure Luke didn’t throw himself off a cliff and had a real life. Different needs but in the end he just wanted both of them to be happy. And that was stupid and weak, but it was the truth. And Chewie liked them too, calling them his friends. The only friend he had to his name was Chewie.  Lando in their special way they both liked and had massive grudges with each other. And had sex that one time but it was only meant to blow off steam. 

Han let out a groan and sat heavily on the bench. Kark everything, what was he even doing here? What was he even meant to do now? He shook his head, and couldn't just stay there thinking too much.

Walking down the ramp he had a tablet pushed into his chest. 

“What were you doing? We all have kriff to do!” The soldier said before walking away. 

“Hello to you too,” Han grumbled.

He tapped his tablet and grimaced. He had orders to help clean and organise the hangar and help clean up the landing ships. Kark! He hated this, he didn’t want to do any of this! But it could be worse. And it was better than staying still, something he hated doing.

~~~~~

“Alright time to get some food.” The foreman of the group announced. 

Everyone dropped their tools and started joking and shoving each other. Many half ran toward the mess. It bothered Han a bit, quite a bit of them were all so young, and Han wasn't even that old! But they were young enough that they shouldn't be being bossed around by some higher-ups to win their war. Not that his teens and twenties hadn't been a mess, it wasn't all good. But it didn't mean he couldn't want better for these people.

“How are you doing Solo?” One of the men asked. He was as tall as Han, with tan skin, light brown hair and amber eyes. 

“Sure, who’s asking?”

“I’m Leo,” He said with a grin, “I heard about you being friends with the Jedi and princess.”

“Met them both before even becoming a 'rebel' Helped Luke and Leia by flying them around.”

“And being part of blowing up the kaking death star?”

Han frowned, “What do you want?”

“Just making small talk. Wanted to ask you to eat some food with us. You seemed lonely.”

Han almost stopped dead in his tracks. Lonely? Him? 

“If Chewie can come too. He was out moving boxes.”

“Course. Never met a Wookiee before. It could be fun.” He was radiating joy even Han could feel. 

Who could be so happy while they were stuck working for people who likely had no idea how to win this war in the first place? Looking around he did see Chewbacca and he waved his friend over. Chewbacca met him tousling his hair and letting out a sigh.

“Long day?” Han asked.

* I always get told to move heavy stuff. * Chewie pouted. 

“You’re always the strongest man in the room."

* I’m smart too. * Chewbacca shot back.

“Smart ass is more like it.”

* Both *

“Yeah, Yeah.” Han shook his head.  

They had beans, rice and reconstituted vegetables. It wasn’t great food but Han didn’t mind sitting with a bunch of young guys making the worst jokes. Leo was one of the few his age; the rest were as young as Luke. Though he didn’t know if they were also saddled with delusions of grandeur and a martyr complex. 

“So how good are you in bed?” Leo asked and winked.

“That wasn’t coy at all.”

“Don’t need to be. We’re probably going to all die soon. If they can build one Death Star what else can they build? I hope the rebellion wins but the grunts like us? We will probably die.”

There was something deeply endearing about this. It was good to hear some honesty about the people who signed up to get blown up. Doing it for the idea of a rebellion Han wasn’t sure he believed was possible was a bit sad though. But what the kark did he even know about it? He was here for stupid reasons too. 

“I appreciate the honesty,” Han said, shaking his head and sighing.

“We’ll find a way to have a good time together, yeah?” Leo asked. 

“Sounds good.” Han agreed and took a bite of his rice.

Chewie punched him in the arm, * You like Leia. *

Han scowled, “Later.” before standing up and following Leo out of the mess hall.

~~~~~

Laying face down on his bed he let out a satisfied noise. It was good to blow off steam and relax. He ran his hands through his hair as he sat up. He heard Chewie come in and lean in the doorway. 

* So how’d it go? * Chewie teased. 

Han tossed the blankets at Chewie who laughed. The blankets came flying back and hit Han on his face. Chewie left for a moment before coming back and handing Han a drink. 

* What about Leia * Chewie questioned 

“What about Leia?”

*You like her.*

“Yeah she’s my friend”

Chewie let out a grumble of distaste. 

“Okay yes, I think she’s hot and smart. What about it?”

* You karked some random dude, she’s going to find out. *

“And?”

* she won’t consider liking you if you keep messing around with other people *

“I don’t need her to like me.”

* You won’t ever be with her if you don’t consider her feelings. *

“I’ve been nice to her all things considered”

* Try harder * chewie shrugged before flopping down on the bed and falling asleep in one minute flat.

Han grumbled before closing his own eyes and did not think about Leia at all.

Chapter Text

Leia

Leia huffed, chewing her lip and rubbed her dry eyes standing in the command centre awkwardly waiting for someone to tell her something to do. She’d been running and doing small tasks for the few days they'd been here. 

“Good to have you here Major” A general said, patting her back. Making Leia jump out of her skin.

“Yes sir,” Leia said, turning to face him.

“Have you noticed that we are going to have to leave eventually?”

“We’re mostly just hiding, putting us on the shelf till they need our boys.”

“Could be worse, could be running through the mud.”

“I think I'd rather be running through the mud,” Leia muttered. She'd wanted to be doing something active. 

She hated feeling like she was doing nothing, nothing was more exhausting. You never knew what was going to happen when you did nothing, and you can’t control anything with no information. 

At least Luke, Han and Chewie are with her. They were likely going insane sitting on their hands, they had lived on the run their lives. Smugglers and outlaws. Now she was just a refugee, lost just like they were. No kark, that wasn’t all she was! She was a Karaking Major, she was a leader, and she was going to build a new galaxy! People trusted her, and she was going to do good and help people. Be worthy of that trust. 

But she was going to be more than that, she would never forget Alderaan Bail and Breha it was her core. It still hurts her heart to picture her parent’s faces. To imagine her home she felt a scream in her throat and she felt hot. Her skin crawled and the room seemed to shift. What was she supposed to do now? What was she supposed to do with the blanket of loneliness? 

“Major Organa?”

“Oh Yes.” She said, turning to face the general.

“I’m going to leave you in charge of the command for this shift and I have a call to make.”

“Yes Sir,” Leia answered.

Being in charge mostly means walking around keeping an eye on everyone, keeping an eye out to make sure no one was spying on them. And that everything keeping the base livable was functioning properly. It also included signing a lot of data pads. People had to get signatures to be able to do the smallest things and she had to give them the go-ahead. 

She didn’t get a midday meal at the proper time making her hungry but it was important to do her job. It was how she kept their trust, it felt like nothing but she had to believe it was building to her tearing the karking empire down. It wasn’t as active as running through the mud but at least now she felt like she was a part of making things run. Making things happen, keeping people safe.

This meant it was like the first nights after the Death Star when she was sitting in the darkened kitchen drinking caff. She now learned that most people who ate at this time ate in their rooms but there was something nostalgic in a dark but comforting way. She wasn’t surprised when Luke showed up next to her, bumping her shoulder with his.  

“Hi, Leia.” Luke greeted softly. 

“You’re alive,” Leia replied in turn. 

“Looks like it.”

“You didn’t come find me,” Leia’s voice stayed quiet but it came out like barbs. 

“Kark I was just not right in the head, I was going to worry you,” Luke said his voice stiff. 

“You always worry me, Luke.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine, I’m going to have a kriff schedule now, shifts are crazy for Majors on outposts apparently.”

“Probably giving it to you because you’re Bail Organa's daughter. I mean you shouldn’t be doing the same work as a General should you?”

“We don’t have any Colonels here. I have to step up.”

“You get on me for putting too much of myself in work.”

“We Had This argument,” Leia shouted, banging her hands on the table.

“You’re right,” Luke answered coldly.

“Luke.” Leia sighed, running her hands over her face.

“Are you liking your new job?”

“Actually yeah. It’s mostly just keeping everybody doing their work, and I'm good at that.”

“Being in control suits you, yes.”

“Calling me bossy?”

“Possibly.” Luke grinned.

“You’re going to be good at this, Leia people will follow you.”

“You will have to as well sometimes Luke.”

“Maybe, but I'm a Jedi and I'm not subject to you totally.”

“Sure, however, you're my little brother therefore you have to listen to me anyway.”

“You always pull that card.”

“Always will.”

Leia reached out, taking his hand. She felt his force signature mingle with his. His warmth and hers blended together. His force signature was warm and always a little shaky but more stable than it sometimes was. It Synced with hers as their heartbeats and breath did. Together fully. 

~~~~~

Leia was eating cup noodles on the floor of the hanger bay with Han, Leo, Chewie and Luke playing Sabacc. They were nice enough to stay up to weird times to spend time with her, it felt good that they cared, even if she wasn't sure she wanted all of them there.

“He karking counts cards!” Leo let out an exasperated shout at Luke

“Kid’s a Jedi” Han Shrugged

“And you continue to play cards with him?” Leo questioned.

“I can’t fix the luck portion of the game.” Luke countered, “I don’t win every time.

“He was also raised by women I'm pretty sure counted cards without The Force.” Leia added with a sigh.

Leo threw his hands up in the air but still took his turn. 

It wasn’t that she didn’t Like Leo, he was nice. And she got why Han wanted to kark him, he was pretty and straightforward about what he wanted. He didn’t seem to like her that much, mostly because she was a major and he considered her one of the people who was going to send them out to go die. Which wasn’t entirely wrong she was going to direct troops but that was because she wanted the least amount of men to die as possible! Did he not see that this was about the least amount of people getting blown up as possible? But no one seemed to get that but like it’s fine!

Leia was also tempted to go find a pretty girl and bring her back. Leia liked pretty girls quite a bit, she had never done what Han was doing with Leo with a man or a woman. She’d never really dated people so she was on the back foot here and it made her anxious as kark. 

And why was she so jealous anyway? He wasn’t hers in any way that mattered. But part of her had thought he liked her, that he might want to date her. That he would be willing to take it slow or something. But it didn’t seem so, and that hurt so much. 

Thankfully that night Leo left before her and Luke was staring into her with his gaze that meant he knew exactly what she was feeling and she hated it.

“What Luke?” Leia muttered.

“Look, you were upset the whole game. Talk to Han okay?  If he’s hurting you he probably doesn’t want to be” He patted her shoulder. I’m going to bed so don't just pout.” He made his way to the cabin. 

She huffed Luke didn’t understand these things. Sure he’d had one more boyfriend than she’d had but he’d also been dating the only other person his age he’d ever been around so his advice was not really made for a situation like hers. 

Maybe she could get him to just not bring Leo around anymore, then she would at least get time alone with him, he would remember how much he liked her! Even if they didn’t get as much time as they used to. Though she couldn’t just tell him that, she had to find a way to get him to do it. 

“Do you think he’s ever even played sabacc against anyone remotely good before?” Leia said as smoothly as possible. 

“Leo?”

“Mhmm.”

“Probably not.”

“Do you like bringing him to our games then?”

“You’re not that great either.”

“Rude.” She huffed.

“If you don’t like playing with him I won't bring him around.”

“Yeah?” Lea asked, looking up through her lashes.

“Yeah.” Han agreed, meeting her gaze with his half smile before turning around picking up the cards and talking to Chewie. 

Leia let out a long breath, maybe he did like her, at least a little bit.

~~~~~

Leia sat in her bed leaning against the cold wall, she could have stayed on the Falcon. But she wanted to be a proper soldier for a bit. 

She breathed deeply, closing her eyes. 

“Leia,” A voice spoke.

“Whoever you are, I'm on break.”

“Well yes, that’s why I’m talking to you now.” The voice said amused.

“You’re some kind of force ghost aren’t you?” Leia grumbled.

“I’m Ben.”

Her eyes popped open, “Why are you talking to me and not Luke? He needs you.”

The ghostly form of a man hovered in front of him. He was an older man with short hair and an uneven beard. Even in a shimmering form, his eyes were kind, sad, but kind. He wore a Jedi robe like Luke and was just as shabby. 

“That’s why, I don’t think either of us can do that yet,” Ben explained. 

“Do you still have feelings after you die?”

“If you hold your form, some of your personality, memories, and emotions stay, it doesn’t hurt as much though.”

“So it won’t hurt this much when I die?” Leia almost whispered, feeling the burning and weight in her chest. 

“No dear it won’t”

Leia nodded and let out a breath.

“I’m sorry I was never able to meet you in life,” Ben said.

“Me too, you knew my biological father.”

“I considered him my brother. We were together as things fell apart."

“I have Luke now. We're going to make things better.”

“Yes, I am so glad you two have each other, which is why I am here.”

“You are here to tell me to look after him.” Leia quipped dryly. She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear that again. She didn’t want to feel more responsible for him, her own mind did a good enough job of that. 

“To some extent. But I know you want to build a whole new galaxy and feel you have to do all these big things. But you can’t do any of that if you don’t just keep yourself safe. Don’t burn yourself out, Leia. You will have a long lifetime to do things, please let yourself live it."

“I’m not Luke, I'm not planning on dying.”

“You might not be planning on dying. But are you planning on living just for you?”

“How do you know these things? Are you reading my mind?”

“I can’t read your thoughts, just emotions, but I know your father and your biological parents. And I knew Jedi who lived only for these future goals, I know what it looks like.”

“I know I want a partner and probably kids.”

“That’s good! But just you! On your own Leia. You’re worth it okay?”

“Why does that matter?”

“Because people who actually value themselves make smart choices.”

Leia half smiled at that, “My neighbour is going to think I’m insane talking to no one.”

“People thought that I was insane for the last nineteen years of my life, they were right of course, but either way you’ll survive.”

“Just, you can feel the force. Can we win?”

“I can’t tell the future only possibilities,” Ben explained. 

“I didn’t ask if we do, I asked if we can, are there any possibilities where we can?”

“Yes Leia, there are ways you do.”

“Thank you, what should I call you? You were my biological father’s brother? And my brother’s dad. I guess, Uncle Ben?”

“If you wish.”

“Should I tell Luke you talked to me? I’m going to guess not”

“I would appreciate if you didn’t”

“Okay, thank you Uncle Ben. But please talk to him soon.”

“You are welcome dear one, And I will”

Chapter Text

Han

Han had been working on getting ready to leave when Luke popped up in front of him and started talking. Han couldn’t really remember what they talked about but he didn’t feel like finishing leaving that night. Luke had patrol duty that night anyway and he could use a drink. He’d turn in early and Chewie seemed agreeable. It also got him a smile from Leia. 

“Are you happy I'm staying another night?” He teased.

“Maybe, you okay though you feel a little fuzzy?”

“It’s the drink princess.”

She blinked then a look of something he couldn’t name passed over her before she smiled at him. 

“Go to sleep Han, we can talk more in the morning.”

“That a promise?”

“I promise.” She agreed. 

~~~~~

Han rolled over and stood up to get ready. He knew it was time to leave, but the amount he didn’t actually want to was embarrassing as kark. He didn’t really want to be away from Luke, and Leia. Luke was his friend and Leia, well she was Leia . He wanted her in every conceivable way. Theoretically, he could tell her that but doing so would be admitting she had power over him and that was scary as hell. And she probably didn’t feel the same, some degree of sexual attraction sure. He was hot and she mostly spent time with the upper brass, old men (she could be into that but he didn’t think so) and then her brother. She didn’t hang around the normal soldiers enough to get it off with them. So she must be thinking about him like that by now. And even though they aggravated each other she did seem to want him around. 

But did he cross that line? That line into being the only one she wanted to be with? 

He came down the ramp and was met with Luke leaning against the ship.

“Could have come and bothered me in the ship kid you know you have an open invitation.”

“I just...yeah.” He said, “Leia came to tell me to tell you that no ships are allowed to leave until they put up this shield thing.”

“Oh, she sent a messenger? No, she did not!  She promised we’d talk in the morning.” He felt his hair stand on end, how could she send her brother as an earned boy?

“Calm down, she also needs to see us. Your com is off.”

Han deflated and looked at his com which was in fact off. Chewie was fiddling around with a piece of metal to the side trying to look like he wasn’t listening to their conversation. 

“You coming fuzz ball?”

* We going to see your girlfriend *

“She’s not my...oh kark off.”

Luke was looking around eyes wild like a sacred animal. 

“Woah kid you okay?” He said, grabbing Luke’s shoulders.

“Yeah, why?” Luke said, 

“Just you look worried.”

“Almost got killed by a big hairy thing and had to cut him in half.”

“Ahh, that's everything?”

Luke nodded, Han didn’t need the Force to know that was a lie but enough was going on. 

“No, something bad is about to happen.” He said in a voice low enough that only Han could hear, “I can feel it.”

“Well okay,” Han said, “Let’s go see what the princess wants and then we go from there okay kid?”

“Yeah, okay.”

They got to the common centre and everyone was staring at a screen. Threepio and Artoo stood next to the princess. Luke ran over and patted the little droid on the head. 

“Sir, I am fluent in six million forms of communication.  This signal is not used by the Alliance.  It could be an Imperial code.” Threepio told the group.

“What we’d find?” Han asked moving over to take a look.

“We've picked up something outside in sector twelve, it’s metal.” Leia summarised. 

“No idea what it is?”

“No.”

“Well, Chewie and I will go take a look,” Han said, without thinking. Why did he say that? He didn’t work for these people. But the bright look that came over Leia’s face, even if it had been brief, made his stomach flip. So it was worth it. 

~~~~~

Han and Chewie take Tauntauns out to the edge of sector twelve before dismounting and taking a stealth position moving along embankments. The riding however gave Chewbacca time to tease Han incessantly about how much he likes Leia, making this time sliding behind snow seem rather peaceful. 

Han noticed the probe or whatever moved past the remains of their outpost stations towards the base. It raised a large antenna from the top of its head and sent out a signal that felt like knives being shoved into his ears. 

Looking over the edge Han can tell it's spotted Chewbacca who was struggling with the whole stealth part of the mission. Perils of working with a giant fuzzball. 

“Kark,” Han drew his blaster, pulled it out and shot it without thought, hitting it right before it got its own shot off. Easy as sleemos like Greedo. 

But now there is not very much for him to analyse for the rebels. But of course, the important part is that he’s pretty sure the Empire is aware they are there. Who else would be sending probe droids out to Hoth?

“ Afraid there's not much left,” Han said into com. 

“What was it?” Leia asked

“Droid of some kind.  I didn't hit it that hard.  It must have had a Self-destruct .”

“An Imperial probe droid.” Leia summarised. So she thought the same thing. 

“It's a good bet the Empire knows we're here.” Han agreed. 

A pause then Leia came back on com, “Come back we are evacuating.”

~~~~~

Han and Chewie got back to base and started their checks of the ship realising the lifters were kriff. How did things on this ship always seem to get messed up? But he quickly set out to get them fixed and mumbled under his breath every curse he knew, hating every moment of this. Of course, he always knew that if he did leave when he got leave to go with the other civilian transport he was going to be leaving both of the twins to die. And that felt bad, he couldn’t even find a better word for it. Bad. Bad. Bad.

Speaking of the twins he saw Luke running out dressed in his fighter pilot uniform. He looked haggard. 

“This the bad thing?” Han asked.

“Don’t think so.” Luke admitted, “Maybe.”

Han shook Luke till the kid met his eyes, “Don’t get yourself karking blown up hear me? Leia and Chewie would kill me.”

“Why would he kill you?”

“I don’t know,” Han said exasperatedly. “They seem to like you and your strangeness and little predictions of doom and gloom.”

The side of Luke’s mouth quirked up. Luke was then wrapped up in a Chewbacca one-armed squeeze which seemed to shake off some of whatever was hanging over him. 

“Naberrie!” a voice called.

Luke smiled more solidly before rushing off to probably die in a firey blast.

“Damn it” Han muttered to himself, running his hand over his face, feeling the roughness of an unshaved face.

He turned back to his ship before looking up again and meeting Luke’s eyes who nodded at him and Han returned it. 

Chewbacca and Han worked hard at the ship trying to make sure everything ran smoothly. It kept not working. It made him want to scream. Giving in, he turned to a repair droid.

“All civilians cleared to leave.” came over the intercom.

Great if their ship could just fly, and Leia would leave in time she wasn’t stupid.  But she wasn’t a civilian anymore was she? She’d stay till the end getting people out. Kark, he hated this. 

He buzzed internally and then smoke went out and it looked like one problem was almost fixed. Han shook his head and Chewbacca let out an annoyed grumble. Han was about to calm the Wookiee when he heard people running saying the command centre had been hit. A chill ran down his spine. 

“I’m getting Leia out of this sinking ship okay.” He told Chewbacca. 

Han rushed through the halls, his body coursing with nervous energy he associated with being chased by a bounty hunter or talking to someone he owed money to. But maybe even worse. Like being a kid with no protection. The place shook with the force of the battle outside parts of the ceiling fell to the ground was this place was not built with a battle in mind at all. He could easily blame the nerves on this whole could-die thing but it was Leia, it was always about Leia these days.  

His chest released a bit when he saw her, zipping around the command centre. 

“You all right?” Han asked, as kindly as he could.

Leia nodded briefly., “Why are you still here?”

“I heard the command centre had been hit.”

“You got your clearance to leave.” She said her voice was stiff as she moved over to watch a different screen. 

“Don't worry.  I'll leave.  First I'm going to get you to your ship.” Han cajoled. He would leave, he had no death wish, unlike his stupid twins. Wait, his twins? That was a thought for another day. Right now he just needed to get this woman on a ship out of this death trap. Which he for one had always hated. 

“ Your Highness, we must take this last transport.  It's our only hope.” Threepio added.

“Hey, even the droid agrees with me, and Luke would too.” Han insisted

“Send all troops in sector twelve to the south slope to protect the fighters,” Leia told one of the other controllers. 

The entire place shook with a blast and the stupid gold doid slid into Han’s arms and he sighed, sliding him out as everything returned to normal. How was she not getting that they needed to leave this place? Everything was going to kriff there was nothing she could do! The people were all leaving! Because the people were trying to not die!

“Imperial troops have entered the base.”

“Come on... that's it.” Han tried to get Leia to just karking listen placing a hand on her arm. 

“Give the evacuation code signal.  And get to your transport!” Leia instructed. 

Han took Leia by both arms and led her down the corridor.

“Oh!  Wait for me!” He heard Threepio from behind him. Damn, he should probably save the stupid golden droid. Leia seemed to keep him around. 

Kark they were both going to live, they would get off this ice block. And he would see her again, wherever they were hiding out. And they could have the conversation she’d promised him the night before. 

“K-one-zero... all troops disengage.” The head controller's voice echoed off the walls at the same time as the assault made the tunnels shake. The blasts made his head feel like it was shaking off his neck. 

Of course, best laid plans and all as ice and wire slammed down in front of them throwing Leia back and making him and Threepio stumble. 

“ Transport, this is Solo.  Better take off - I can't get to you.  I'll get the princess out on the Falcon.” he sighed, 

Han pulls Leia up and they run the other way. He held her hand and thankfully the buildings don't fall apart anymore and he can see the hangar bay door as he hears the imperials hot on their tails. 

Banging to close the blast door he realises he left the stupid golden droid behind the door opening it again he yanked the droid by the arm he needed the stupid thing to move fast enough. 

“Come on,” Han muttered. 

The welcome sight of his copilot and ship greeted him and he felt like he was right about them both living and not dying horrible deaths on this ice ball. Chewbacca let out an excited noise and ushered them forward. Chewbacca patted the Falcon and ran on board followed by Leia and Han shouting back;“Hurry up, goldenrod, or you're going to be a permanent resident!”

“Wait!  Wait!” The droid shouted.

Han rolled his eyes but they didn't pull up the ramp till the stupid droid was on board. He doesn’t really want to leave it behind. Droids don’t deserve to be gunned down by imperials either. 

The whole ship shook around them as Han tried to get the ship to get off the ground. The repair droid only got the outside stuff working there was still some wiring they didn’t quite get all sorted to fly. He knows The Falcon will pull through; he just had to get them there. He knows it. 

Furiously fiddling with settings Han tries to get it all to level out enough to fly. The Falcon will work herself out as she always does. Han reassured himself. But they just need enough power to get through. 

“How's this?” Han calls out. 

* nope * Chewie answered. 

“ Would it help if I got out and pushed?” Leia snarked. 

“It might,” Han said, feeling a bit offended, he knew they needed to get out like five minutes ago but that didn’t mean he needed the attitude when he was actually trying. 

“Captain Solo, Captain Solo... sir, might I suggest that you...” The droid started. 

Han turned to the droid holding up a finger and wished he had the ability to throw things with his mind. 

Moving to the cockpit he had one more thing to try and he hoped to whatever Force there was out there it would work. He had to bang on the walls a bit to get the power flowing but that was alright. Pushing a few buttons and switches to move things around a bit. 

“ This bucket of bolts is never going to get us past that blockade.” Leia insisted. 

“This baby's got a few surprises left in her, sweetheart,” Han replied. Hoping sounding as sure as that meant he really was that sure. 

Han and Leia looked out the cockpit window and saw a squad of stormtroopers rushing into the far side of the hangar. This was just not his day was it? Everything just kept going very wrong. 

They strapped themselves into the seat and Han clicked a few more switches authorising the autocannons and reinforcing the power bypass so they could get in the air. 

Chewie rushed into the cockpit.

“Come on!  Come on!  Switch over. Let's hope we don't have a burnout.”

A laser hit the window causing them all to jump and Chewbacca let out a loud noise before pulling back and they took off. Han let out a breath he didn’t remember deciding to hold but they were finally off the ground. 

“See?” Han said to Leia turning to grin at her

“ Someday you're going to be wrong, and I hope I'm there to see it.” She replied, but there wasn’t real venom in her words that time. 

“Let’s get far away from this karking disaster,” Han said.

Chapter Text

Luke

Luke sighed as he took off from Hoth. As he made to punch in the coordinates for the meeting place he heard his buir’s voice cut in.

“Dagobah,” he said.

“Buir,” Luke choked out.

“Master Yoda will meet you there.”

“Master Yoda?” Luke said. 

“Yes.”

“Why have you been ignoring me?”

“You need to make your own way.”

“But you don’t have to abandon me.”

“I’m dead Luke.”

“Dead doesn’t mean gone.” Luke shot back, “Not when you're a Jedi.”

Luke got no response. 

“Kark, damn, kriff, Sith hells.” Luke said and smacked his palm on the control before searching for Dagobah and setting the coordinates. He felt hot. The screen read,

“We are going the wrong way.” showing R2D2’s question.

“Artooie, we are going to meet Master Yoda.”

“Will it be safe?”

“Probably not, but I need to do this.”

“We’re going to get into trouble”

Luke huffed a laugh, “You’ll be fine.”

Now with time to think Luke’s head hurt. The battle had been nothing, too many forces for even him to hold off. They were called to retreat and re-group. The death had been strong. It sucked but it hadn’t made him want to vomit or anything. The space outside of Hoth had kept him less overwhelmed but it still felt suffocating. And now he was away from everything. But it hadn’t been fun by any stretch of the imagination.  

He was tired of feeling trapped. Being pressed in on all sides all the time. He wished he could not feel. No, no he didn’t. That sounded lonely and frightening as well. The galaxy was too beautiful for that, he just needed to learn to build better shields. It was just hard to be so lonely here. Somehow everything in the world pressed in on him and he was still alone in the galaxy. 

Maybe it was fear too, fear of the dying and leaving. Fear of not being able to save everyone. Fear he would give in to fear; He had a job to do, it was what he was for. Hopefully seeing Master Yoda would help him be ready to fight Vader and kill him. To be able to do so without giving into anger, to not let himself be just like him, a fallen Jedi. to accept death in an honourable way.

Luke closed his eyes and tried to let the galaxy flow through him, feeling everything flow and shift as he moved through hyperspace. The stars breathed and pulsed, the whole galaxy felt alive. It was calming in a way like he wasn’t alone. 

~~~~~

Luke landed on Dagobah. It was a giant swamp and he grimaced. The ground sucked at his feet and his brain buzzed with all the new kinds of life forms. He tried to notice a signature that read as Jedi. But he couldn’t feel anything within the din.

Moving as carefully as he could he searched for any sign of a camp or settlement. 

Bam, Luke’s face was squashed into the mud and he was breathing muck. He sat up covered in swamp and turned to see a grinning little green man. 

“Master Yoda?” Luke questioned.

“Yes, Yes,” Master Yoda said, nodding.

“Why’d you knock me into the mudd?”

“Feel me you did not, make myself known I must.”

“I tried to let The Force move through me. I just couldn’t pull you out.”

“Why reach out did you not?”

“Reaching out is dangerous.”

“How will you ever learn to balance with the universe if locked in yourself you stay?”

“My buir said that I couldn't reach out or Vader would find me.”

“Precautions for a child, child are you still?”

“No.”

“Hmmm, fearful you are.”

“No.”

“Obstinate as well. To be expected, child of troublemakers you are.”

“I’ll do whatever you need me to do. I just have to be able to stop Vader.”

“Want to kill him you do?”

“He has to die, if I don’t more people will die.”

“Want to kill him do you?” Master Yoda repeatedly jabbed a stick in Luke's direction Luke could feel the pressure of the great Master Force bearing down on his mind. 

“I want this all to be over, I want to clear the path for the rebellion to take out the emperor. Or for myself if I'm lucky enough to live. I want to help everyone. And I don't love the thought of him dying or anything. But I don’t think I want to feel him die.”

“Know if you are lying or not you do not.”

“I am scared, scared I am just like Vader.”

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”

“Yes, Master.” Luke knew what he meant, but he also wasn’t sure if it was hundred per cent true. His buir had been afraid for most of Luke’s life, and he didn’t think he had ever seen the man hate anyone. Even the Emperor and Vader. 

“Chose the dark side Vader did, gave in to all his fears he did. Choose the light you can.”

“Even if I am afraid?”

“Eat, we must. Food I have come.” Master Yoda said, not answering Luke's question. Typical Jedi.

~~~~~

Lightsabers clashed bright sparks everywhere, there was nothing to do but run. He fumbled for his blade but found his belt empty. The sparks went in his eye and he was blinded. He fell to his knees breathing ragged. The feeling of death permeated everything, vomit climbed his throat. 

Bolting awake Luke gulped in air. He looked around; he was in a survival tent he’d pitched from the supplies in his ship and looking squarely into the beeping dome of Artoo.

“Artooie I’m okay, I promise.” Luke patted his head as he sat up, “Bad dream.”

Artoo then informed him that the place was worse at night and he knew they were going to get into trouble. 

“Yes Artoo, we are in trouble. But we’ll be okay. I’m learning to keep people safe. I’ll get you back to Leia.”

Their conversation was interrupted by the trilling laughter of Grand Master Yoda.

“Smart droid he is, known him long I have.”

“Yes, He was Anakin’s droid.”

“Fought many wars he has. Retirement, you wish for little droid?” Master Yoda asked.

Artooie let out an offended trill and Master Yoda laughed again. He then turned to Luke and the powerful pressure of The Force was once again on his mind, “Training I assume you wish to begin.”

Luke scrambled out of the tent and followed the small grand master to the edge of the swamp and looked around.

“Break you out of your shell, we must.”

“I still think we might invite Vader.”

“Hmph.” Master Yoda replied, “Fight Vader you will find you he will.”

“You think I’m ready to fight him?”

“Not yet. Too contained you are, too afraid.”

”I’m not afraid to die.”

“Maybe. Afraid to lose you are.”

“I need to be of use. I have to do something to help. Even if I die, I can’t take nobody with me.”

“Tools we are not, luminous beings we are.” Master Yoda replied and poked him and stared up at Luke.

Luke shook his head, Master Yoda may be wise but it had been almost twenty years since Master Yoda had dealt with the galaxy. He hadn’t seen what the Empire had done to people. He hadn’t seen the Death Star. Maybe he’d forgotten his fight with the Emperor, Luke had only felt Vader from afar and it had been like ice; he couldn't imagine what the Sith master would feel like. 

Master Yoda’s ears fell and he shook his head. “Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, what have you told this boy?”

“Only the truth.” Qui-Gon’s voice sounded, followed by his Buir, “I never told him he had to die.”

Luke tensed at the sound of both of them together. It felt wrong to hear his Buir in the same breath as Qui Gon, as some past Jedi. 

Master Yoda continued to shake his head, “Sit you must Luke, close your eyes.”

Startled at the instruction Luke had to think a little too long about how to sit and close his eyes. 

“Know how to feel the force you do.”

“Yes, Master.”

“Explain to me what is around you.”

Luke explained the area around him.

“Good.”

“Now I want you to push past yourself. Extended to The Force past what you can feel now.”

Breathing deep Luke gathered his energy inside him and tried to push it out, he felt it flow to his limbs but felt nothing new to his senses. 

“Hmm locked in your body you are.”

“I can use The Force.”

“Use? Humph, one does not use The Force. The Force is us.”

“I Told you! I don’t know why I can’t reach out.”

“Fear,” Master Yoda said and knocked Luke on the head with his stick.

“My buir told me Vader would find me.”

“Fear.” He repeated, knocking Luke again.

“How can I reach out?”

“Move we shall.”

Master Yoda jumped on his back. “Feel the living Force you will. Full of life this planet is. Ease your fear it shall.”

Luke did as he was told. He focused on the world around him. Closing his eyes, jumping through the forest he felt it. Every animal and bug around him, every tree. His mind teemed with the buzz of the world, but it didn’t hurt. Even the death of the animals felt like it was meant to be. 

He landed out of breath back at the starting point.

“More alive you are.” Master Yoda said, “Less locked into your head you are.”

“This place is so whole.”

“Good planet I chose to die on.”

“Hang on. You want to die here?” Luke said looking up.

“Yes. I shall become one with The Force here. Everything here flows continuously from living to cosmic. It shall be a good place.”

“Will you maintain your form? Will I still be able to talk to you?”

“For some time I think. Need to see this end. Only hope for us you are.”

“But you won’t come with me alive?”

“Leave here I can not.”

“Okay. That’s fair. But I’m not your only hope. My sister is alive.”

“Trained in the force she is not.”

“She is a better person than I am.”

“Fine person you are. Very little darkness you carry.”

“But I am afraid.”

“Human you are. Not dwell on it you must.”

“I will defeat Vader.”

“Then learn you must.”

“The cosmic Force. I let it in sometimes, I can feel every start all around me. It's like the whole galaxy is breathing. I do often pass out.”

“Let it in and not go crazy, a strength that shows.”

“It feels like everything is right. Like I can let everything go.”

“Letting go you must be able to do, attachment brings many Jedi low.”

“Is that the problem? Not love but attachment? I’ve loved people strongly. I admit I crave it.”

“Love? hmph too nebulous it is. But yes attachment is the dark side. You are on the line you are, deep need to belong you have.”

Luke nodded. He didn’t know if he could let go of the idea of love entirely. But he knew he had to not be so attached. 

“But brave you are to know it.”

“I’m ready to die. And I know I won’t always end up with people. Even if I live, people have lives. My job will be the Jedi. I don’t get to stay with them. I don't own them, they have lives and dreams and goals. I don't want to make them do things or control anything. ”

“Good start that is.”

“But I don’t know if I could let them die if I could save them.”

“Hmm like many Jedi you are. Need to be a hero many Jedi have.”

~~~~~~

Sitting to eat some soup Master Yoda made it was hard not to get lost in thought about everything he had yet to do. Luke sighed, brushing his hair from his eyes. He didn’t know what to do. He had felt the planet but hadn’t gotten out of his body. 

There was a tree that kept taking his attention as well. It reeked of The Force in a way that made Luke want to stay a hundred feet away but  Master Yoda kept making them do exercise by it.

Turning to Master Yoda Luke took in a deep breath, “Do you want me to go into that grotto?”

“Go in you want to?”

“No, it’s a place where The Force bends.”

“Perceptive you are.”

“It’s extremely noticeable.”

“Go in you will if curious you are.”

“You keep bringing us here!”

Master Yoda laughed! He karking laughed! 

The next time they were there Luke gave into frustration and took in long breaths till his body calmed and his mind built walls. He was settled and he no longer felt agitated. He went in and felt cold. He shook his head and noticed things bend and shift and saw the floor covered in dead bodies with Luke standing over them looking up with a thousand-yard stare before falling to his knees, Luke knew this version of him had failed. His stomach flipped

Luke took a deep breath and shook his head. The image shifted and disappeared. Luke wanted to throw up; he hated everything about what he had just seen. But there was nothing he could do about it. He walked backwards slightly awkwardly till he was outside and took in a breath turning to face Master Yoda.

“Satiate your curiosity?” Master Yoda questioned tilting his head.

“Shows you your fears?” Luke questioned.

“Binds your mind to you.”

“Well, freaked me out for sure,” Luke mumbled as he took in another breath purging the fear as best he could. 

~~~~~

Luke nodded, took in a deep breath and attempted to extend his force as best he could Master Yoda watching him. 

He felt the force reach his fingers and then he felt it pass his skin. Not in the way it pushes someone away to move something but in a way that feels the world. He felt everything around him in a new way. Not just letting it move through him but like he was touching it. He put it on Master Yoda and felt his mind. Not only did they exchange thoughts but he could poke through his mind. Master Yoda let him and he could feel emotions of pride and concern. It was strong. He could feel everything. And as he reached for the Stars he felt for his sister. 

And then a vision struck him in the solar plexus. He saw Vader and heard.

“The outlaw and The Princess have been found, they are in Cloud City” A voice said.

Vader’s breath was loud and then he saw Vader tilted his head, “And the Jedi is coming.”

Luke came back into his body, “Vader is coming for my sister.”

“Hmm go to her you will,” Master Yoda said.

“You think I’m ready to fight Vader?” Luke questioned.

“Ready?” Master Yoda asked with a soft smile, “Know this I do not. Teach you more, can I? Not enough I think. Trust in yourself you must. Let go of fear.”

“I’m not ready.” Luke shook his head, “There is so much I don’t know.”

“Dying I am. Young are you.”

“I...I have to save my sister.”

“Try and kill Vader you must.”

“I’ll come back if I live. I don’t want you to die alone.”

“Live you don’t think you will. Die alone you think you will.” Master Yoda said a hint of snark in his voice.

Luke smiled and stood, “May the force be with you.”

Chapter Text

Leia

The streams of lightspeed ran in front of her and she sighed. 

“We headed to the rendezvous?” Leia asked.

“Well, lightspeed may have worked enough. But we’re bleeding fuel faster than we should be. We won’t make it that far.”

Leia sighed. “I knew something would go wrong. The only reason the lightspeed works is probably because Luke fixed it.”

“You’re saying you don’t trust The Falcon? She’s saved your life enough times.”

“I trust the ship . It’s your maintenance that I have a problem with.”

“Well. Guess you should learn to trust me. I’m getting you out of there”

“So, where are we going?” Leia asked. She did trust him, for the most part. But she wasn’t going to say that.

“Bespin. I have an old friend there.”

“An actual friend?” Leia asked. She thought she could feel apprehension in Han.

“Yes,” Han said, not meeting her eye.

Leia hummed. Of course, something was wrong with the ship, she thought. Something was always wrong. Once sin the back of the ship, she physically shook her head to empty her thoughts. Her mind swam with images of Luke; she worried about him. Vader was out there, and she knew he had to know there was a Force user out there. Luke was in danger; she just knew it. That meant she could also be in danger, and it felt like things were very precarious. 

Ignoring her worries was hard, but she took it upon herself to straighten up the ship and drink some water. 

Rallying her courage, she made her way back to the cockpit and was glad to see the shape of Cloud City materialise in front of them.

Two twin-pod cloud cars appeared and moved toward the Falcon and flanked it. Leia wanted to groan. And because the galaxy hated them that day, the pod clouds shot The Falcon. Chewbacca let out a loud noise that Leia was starting to be able to understand, and it likely translated to” dank farrik”. 

“This is Cloud City. What is your landing permit code?” 

“No, I don't have a landing permit.  I'm trying to reach Lando Calrissian.”

More bursts hit the ship, and Leia turned to look at Han. Fire turned in her chest, but also ice and nausea. She knew Luke would tell her what it all meant. But she just wanted to shout.

“You will not deviate from your present course.”

Leia said nothing; she just laid her head in her hands and groaned. She just wanted it all to be over for one karking second. 

Chewbacca barked, something she didn’t fully get, something to do with cheating, Han, betting and this Lando guy.

Han replied to Chewbacca, “ Well, that was a long time ago. I'm sure he's forgotten about that.”

“Permission granted to land on Platform Three-two-seven.”

“Thank you,” Han replied. 

A Hand on Leia’s shoulder made her jump. “You good?”

“I thought this was going to be a good place to go?”

“It will be fine, okay?”

“It won’t.”

“Why?”

“At least not right now.”

“How do you know that?”

“I just do .”

“You sound like Luke.”

“Perish the thought.”

Han smiled and stood up.

Leia sighed as they landed. She stood to leave, straightening her clothes and leaving at as much of a reasonable pace that would communicate she was totally in control and not at all feeling a bit like the galaxy was falling apart all over again because she was afraid for her brother and not trusting that any of this was working out. And making sure no one knew she was deeply angry about all of it. 

“No one to meet us,” Threepio commented.

Letting out a groan of annoyance, Leia leaned against The Falcon. 

Han huffed and glared at her. “What?”

“Nothing!” Leia said back, putting her hands up.

A man, probably Lando, walked out flanked by guards. He wore shiny clothes and a karking cape. He was nice looking with sharply styled black curls and a striking expression on his dark skin. 

Han gave a “see” expression to Leia and then whispered something to Chewbacca. 

Lando and his guards crossed the bridge to meet Han and shook his head in a disappointed way and Leia sucked in a breath. The hair on the back of her neck stood up. 

“Why, you slimy, double-crossing, no-good swindler!  You've got a lot of guts coming here after what you pulled.” Lando said. 

Lando moved quickly towards Han, and Leia felt her muscles tighten; then it changed to a hug, and Leia relaxed slightly.

Laughing, Lando continued, “How you doing, you old pirate? So good to see you!  I never thought I'd catch up with you again.  Where you been?”

Threepio spoke to Leia, “Well, he seems friendly."

“Sure, friendly. But maybe....” Leia said, but kept the be careful to herself, worried the guard might hear her.

“What are you doing here?” Lando asked.

“Fixing the ship. The fuel is leaking. The hyperdrive is working, as Leia says thanks to Lu..."

Lando's gaze moved to Leia, and his expression turned to what Leia was sure was meant to be smooth.

“Hello, Welcome. I'm Lando Calrissian. I'm the administrator of this facility. I assume you lovely Lady is Leia?”

“Yes, I am,” Leia said, resisting rolling her eyes. 

“ Welcome, Leia.” Lando greeted her, kissing her hand.

“Let her be Lando,” Han said. 

Han said, taking Leia’s other hand and moving her towards him, and Leia was grateful. She had decided she only wanted stupid, foolish male behaviour from Han. Thank you very much.

The group turned to go inside, and she heard Threepio talk to Lando behind them. 

Threepio, “Hello, sir.  I am See-Threepio, human-cyborg relations.  My facilities are at your...”.

“So, fuel leaking out of The Falcon?” Lando said to Han

“Yeah, we could only jump so far.” Han said, “Otherwise, we wouldn’t be here.”

“Hey! It’s nice here,” Lando replied.

“I’m sure it’s lovely,” Leia said, attempting to head off any disagreement. Kark she had been spending too much time with Luke. 

They walked for a minute or so in silence before Han started talking, “How's the gas mine?  Is it paying off for you?”

“ Oh, not as well as I'd like. We're a small outpost and not very self-sufficient.  And I've had supply problems of every kind. I've had labour difficulties...What's so funny?” Lando said, turning to Han, who was smiling at him.

“You.  Listen to you, you sound like you are a boss. I’ve met a lot of those recently, and you sound exactly like them.”

“ Well, is that a good thing?”

“In some ways.”

Leia wondered if he was talking about her, and if she was the good or the bad.

“ I am in charge, and it’s brought me a lot of success. Maybe you should try standing still for some time.”

Looking at Han, Leia saw an odd expression she couldn’t quite place cross his face. She couldn’t quite understand what she was picking up, what was coming off of him. It was too closed off, she wasn’t as good as Luke. 

They were led to a room with two large beds, some tables and a dresser. Leia sat at a table, Han sat next to her, and Chewbacca sat at the third chair and let out a noise.

“I’ll get the lady some fresh clothes and everybody some food.” Lando gave a cheesy smile, turned and left the room.

Moving to the edge of the room, Leia looked at the walls and ceiling, trying to find cameras and mics. She didn’t see anything and let out a long breath before sitting next to Chewbacca.

He let out a long growl, laid his fluffy head on the table, and Leia petted him. 

“So what’d you see?” Han asked.

“Don’t think we’re being watched directly,” Leia explained.

“You’re paranoid, you know that?”

“You trust all of this.”

Han snorted. “Not in a million years.”

“Good, you're not insane.”

“But he’s not going to poison us so we can eat the food. Killing us like that won’t get him any credits. It’s not about murder or sadism with him. It’s about credits.”

“At least we know what his motivation is.”

“Why are you so upset, though? I know Hoth was invaded, but you're not usually so broken up about battle.”

“I don’t like soldiers dying, Han.”

“They weren’t under your control.”

“Command Han. I wasn’t in Command. At least once directly. But you know I was to some extent. I am a Major for Force's sake. I have a responsibility.”

Han took her hand. “Shh, Leia.” 

“I’m calm.”

“Sure you are.”

“Kark you.”

“Yeah, Yeah. But you still haven’t told me what’s wrong.”

“It’s Luke. He’s in danger.” Leia confessed.

“When is he not?”

“We are too. Something is coming for him and me.”

“You’re getting all freaky Force like him.”

“I’ll never be a Jedi.” Leia said firmly, “I don’t want to never have a family and be galaxy police.”

“No, you just want to be a soldier.”

“Not forever. When this is over, I'll stop. Building the new republic is my goal. You know that. Not shooting people or slicing them in half. It’s a means to an end.”

“Okay.”

“Okay? What about you? What do you want when you leave?”

“Maybe I don't,” Han said quietly.

“You don’t?”

“Maybe.”

The door whooshed open, and a droid entered and placed a dress on Leia’s lap and a tray with food on the table. One large cooked whole bird of some kind for Chewie. A cut of meat with bread and vegetables for Han and Leia. 

“Real food.” Han said, “Bet it’s not reconstituted nonsense like on base.”

“It made sure you didn’t starve, didn't it?”

“Yeah, whatever.”

They ate silently for a few minutes, but Leia could only eat so much; she was so tired.

Leia let out a puff of air and brushed a tendril of hair that had come out of her braid behind her ear. 

“I’m going to have to redo this for tomorrow,” Leia said, her voice barely above a whisper.

“And...” Han said furrowing his brow and waving his fork with a piece of vegetable on it. 

“Braids for me, they are important.” 

“I’ve noticed. Your hair, you always have it very well done.”

“I can do it myself. But usually someone helps me. Either another soldier who is from Alderaan or Luke now.  I’m not alone very often.”

“You’re not alone now,” Han swallowed thickly, “...technically.”

“You’ll put it up for me tomorrow? What do you know about hair?”

“I have hair, princess.”

“Sure, but you can barely brush it.”

“Not all of us are fussy about everything being exactly in place.”

“Some of us are fine looking like we rolled out of bed every moment of the day.”

“You mean Chewie?”

“He looks better than you do most of the time!”

“Does he?”

“ He's cute .”

“Cuter than me?”

“Much.”

Chewbacca laughed and patted Leia on her head softly. It was very comforting, but she was sure only making the flyaway hair situation worse. But she loved Cewhbacca by now, he was a stable presence. For all the Wookie's temperamentalness of their band of four damaged individuals, he was probably the only one who wasn’t one strong wind away from falling into a pit of insanity. Exhaustion overwhelmed her body, and she wandered over to the fresher and went inside, deciding to get ready to sleep. Maybe if she slept, she’d wake up, and everything would feel better. Didn’t usually work, but who knew? The thought that they’d have to go back and get supplies from The Falcon crossed her mind, but she was glad to see two toothbrushes in wrapped packages, a box of face towels, soap for the fresher, and two hair brushes. She did all her nighttime things, then took the hairbrush and made her way to bed. 

She slowly undid her braids, keeping the pins and hair ties in her lap for the next morning. Her hair came down in waves around her body. Han was watching her with a soft expression and Leia blushed. 

“Brush your teeth and come to bed, okay?” Leia said to Han.

“With you?”

“Well, Chewie would probably enjoy his own bed. So come to bed now.”

“Yes, Ma'am,” Han said with a mock salute.

Leia lay on her back waiting with her eyes closed. She had never shared a bed with a man besides her dad and brother. And that didn’t count. Luke had even been slightly odd but doing this with Han made her feel nervous and her whole body was hot at the thought. 

Han lay next to her, hands folded under his head.

Leia turned on her side to look at him. “What’s wrong?”

“Wrong?”

“You’re nervous.”

“Freaky mind powers?”

“No. I guessed you’d try and ya know...with me.” Leia said, face flushing.

“Do you want me to?”

“Not yet...I don’t think so.” Leia said, blushing harder.

“Then we won’t.”

“Hold me then, though?”

“Yeah, anytime.”

Leia turned on to her other side and Han pulled him into her and she closed her eyes.

Chapter Text

Leia 

Sitting up, Leia screamed, and Han jumped next to her, grabbing his blaster.

“What?” He asked.

“Something cold; it’s freezing. Something is wrong.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, the thing I thought about. I think it’s coming.”

“Okay. We'll get through it. I promise.”

“No,” Leia mumbled, but she didn’t fight him anymore.

Han checked the chronometer and nodded. 

“Might as well get up; looks like Chewie’s already out and about.”

“Sure.” Leia said, looking around the room, “Threepio never came in last night”

“I’m sure he’s okay.”

Leia hummed, trying to avoid her thoughts. Climbing out of bed, she grabbed the new dress and turned to Han, “Turn around. We haven’t gotten to that part yet.”

Han tossed his hands in the air, “Yeah, sure.”

She quickly changed into the new clothes that were brought to her before turning around and tapping Han on the shoulder, “Okay, Han.”

As he spun, he kissed her.

“We’re there, though, right? Princess.” Han smiled into her hair. 

“Yeah.” Leia said,  “We are. Pirate.”

“Still want help with the hair?”

“Sure.”

Han put Leia’s hair up into a long updo that was above her head. Leia had to talk him through every step but they got there in the end. 

Leia sat on the bed and then stood and walked the length of the room. Trying to waste time.

“You’re pacing like you're a caged animal,” Han said.

“I’m worried. Threepio isn’t here and neither is Chewie!” Leia told him, “They’ve been gone way too long.”

“You’re right.” He said, taking her shoulders, “I’ll ask Lando. And get us something to eat, that sound good?”

“Yeah,” Leia said

Before Han could leave, Chewie sped in the doorway carrying a dismembered Threepio,

“Kriff. What happened to him?” Leia said.

Chewie grunted and whined out an explanation that included the word “junk pile”

“How the hell did he end up there?” Han mumbled.

“Just, ugh. Chewie, do you think you can repair him?” Leia groaned. 

Chewie hung his head and let out a sad and confused sound, looking at Threepio, and Leia sighed. 

“Lando's got people who can fix him”, Han tried.

“They’re the ones that broke him!” Leia griped, crossing her arms.

The door swished open and Lando stood there with an expression trying to give confidence. 

“I'm sorry. Am I interrupting anything?” Lando asked

“ Not really,” Leia said coolly.

“You look gorgeous. You truly belong here with us among the clouds.” Lando said, laying it on way too thick. 

Leia couldn’t bring herself to say anything. Something was very wrong. She suddenly felt very cold, and she took a half step back. 

“ Will you join me for a little refreshment?” Lando continued. 

Han looked between Leia, Chewie, who was agreeing to the invite and Lando with worry. 

His facade momentarily slipping at the cold reception of his guests, Lando fixed his smile, 

“Everyone is invited." 

Lando offered his arm and Leia just stared, why the hell would she take his arm when she was pretty sure something terrible something was about to happen. but as a long moment passed she took it. Lando shook his head as he turned and spotted Threepio's remains.

“ Having trouble with your droid?” Lando questioned.

“No. No problem. Why?” Han said, offering Leia his arm, allowing Leia to gratefully move towards him and hold on to Han as they followed Lando out. 

The cold and dark were getting worse, and she didn’t know what to do. She wanted to scream. It was like being back on the Death Star, except now the dark had layers. It wasn’t just cold and lonely there was rage and fear tangled in. She wanted to be anywhere else. She wanted The Falcon. She wanted her parents. 

“ So you see, since we're a small operation, we don't fall into the jurisdiction of the Empire.” Lando’s voice floated into her thoughts. 

Something else was said for a few feet but Leia didn’t hear or understand any of it. She was too confused by the way the darkness was making her ears pop. 

“ Aren't you afraid the Empire's going to find out about this little operation and shut you down?

“ That's always been a danger looming like a shadow over everything we've built here.  But things have developed that will ensure security. I've just made a deal that will keep the Empire out of here forever.”

The door opened, and standing in front of her was Darth Vader . It was like someone had fished around in her mind for some way to create her nightmares. She did not have the resources to kill this man. She needed soldiers and Luke. Right now, they had Han’s blaster. Which she watched be pulled from his hands by The Force. The rage in her stomach churned, and she wanted to kick Lando hard. 

“We would be honoured if you would join us.” Vader Mocked

“I had no choice.  They arrived while you were sleeping; they had weapons and soldiers. I have minor security.” Lando insisted.

“I'm sorry, too,” Han said, his voice sharp as a blade. 

They were pushed forward by Storm Troopers till they were next to Vader .

“Take the Wookie and Smuggler. They need to be held. The Princess is mine.” Vader 

Lando went to talk, but he was raised on his feet by the throat.

“I didn’t know about the princess when I came here. But she is of use to me.” Vader said.

Lando dropped to his knees. 

The stormtroopers started to drag Han and Chewie away.

“I love you!” Leia stated as firmly as she could to Han before she was yanked back by Vader .

“I know,” Han replied as he was pulled out the door, and she couldn’t see him anymore.

"Calrissian, you are to leave at once," Vader commanded.

Lando stood and backed out of the room. A blank expression was on his face. Leia hated him.

Vader turned her around to face him, so she was staring up into his mask.

“You have The Force.” He said, matter of fact.

“Learned about it.”

“I did not notice before, a miscalculation on you on my part.”

“Yeah, well, you miscalculated a lot.”

“What else have I miscalculated?”

“Everything. Kill me, I don't care. People will keep fighting you.”

“Why would I kill you? An Organa, a princess, turned to my side. It will be powerful.”

“You kill force users.”

“I kill Jedi. Are you a Jedi?”

“No,” Leia said.

“Are you training with a Jedi?”

“I don’t want to be a Jedi.”

“The Jedi in your midst, he awakened your Force, I presume.”

“He told me I have it.”

Leia tried her best to imagine her thoughts locked up. Keep everything in her. She knew she couldn’t give away anything that would get other people killed. She had to keep everyone safe. Han, Chewie, Threepoio, and she were already dead. No one else would die.

The cold coming from Vader seemed to become even more suffocating. Her body was sizezing up like she'd walked out on Hoth with no coat. Controlling her mind was taking so much energy she had nothing left to keep her body in check. She could feel herself shrinking. 

“Skywalker will come. Then I will have both of you. Hope for the rebellion will be crushed.”

“You can’t kill hope”

“I can.” Vader said simply, “And I will.”

“Why don’t you just kill me then? I won’t side with you; I never will. You can’t brainwash me, I'm not a child.”

“You are but a child.” Vader said, “And you will bend to the will of the Dark Side. I can see it, I can feel it. It is overwhelming you where you stand.”

Leia couldn’t say it wasn’t. She felt ill and confused. It was like he was attempting to confuse and make her unable to think clearly. She breathed and imagined her mother’s smile and her father’s strong arm on her shoulder. The way the sunset looked on Alderaan. Han’s lips were on hers. The way it felt when she was a made a major. Even Chewie’s fur. Everything real and good.

“You’re doing well. Who taught you that?”

“It’s simple, Darth. Imagine the good; fight the dark. You’re trying to overwhelm me. I won’t let you.”

“There is nothing in you that is strong enough to resist me.”

“Ego much.” Leia bit back, "Why are you here?"

"To catch Skywalker."

"We're bait."

"I have bait in Solo, the Wookie and the droid. I can keep you."

Leia didn’t know what to do, but his hand came up in front of her face, and the world went black.

~~~~~

Waking up, Leia screamed. She didn’t know where she was. A ship, it seemed. Things didn’t feel as dark as they had before. But she knew that didn’t mean things were good. She turned her head, a small porthole behind her. All she could see was the vastness of space.

Vader had knocked her out, and she'd been out for a long time. She was away from her friends now. She was alone now. And she was in a karking dress. 

There was nothing she could do about any of it, was there? But it was all she could do to keep it together. Looking around, she saw only one stormtrooper and nothing else, so she decided to give up. 

It felt good, and there wasn’t anything else to do about it. Everything was bad now, and she was alone. How was she meant to escape? She would get her act together tomorrow and figure everything out. It would be okay—it had to be. But right now, everything was wrong, scary, and bad, and she had just faced one of the men who had taken her home from her.  

Her brother and the love of her life were back there, facing imminent death and there was nothing she could do to help them!

So screw the galaxy, screw winning a war she just didn’t want to be destroyed and killed by Darth Vader and turned into a mindless dark side soldier. But nothing could be done about it in this tiny transport. 

So kark it she would cry.

Chapter Text

Han

[Hour 11:30 in Cloud City]

Being pulled out of the dining room by his arms hard enough, he felt like his shoulder was being yanked out of its socket. He was pulled into a room and sat roughly into a chair where his arms and legs were tied behind him. He knew what was about to happen and steeled himself to hold back all his secrets. He would say nothing about the rebellion, and he would say nothing about Luke.

There was an Imperial agent and the infamous Boba Fett standing in the room to watch the show. 

Heat and electricity started burning through his body and he heard a scream coming from his mouth and he didn’t remember making it. 

When there was a break, he expected a question, but there was none, just long enough for him to catch his breath before it started again. It burned and his brain fogged over. Images of Leia next to Vader filled his brain and he just knew he had to hold on to save her. He would get free and he would save her. It’s all that mattered. Leia had to be saved. 

It didn’t stop. It didn’t stop. It didn’t stop. 

He saw white and felt his body seize.

Finally, he was pulled down and he wasn’t sure when his mouth finally closed and his screaming stopped. His breath came ragged and his eyes couldn’t focus. His mouth was dry and his ears were ringing. He couldn’t move any of his limbs. He felt his whole body was wet with sweat and was pretty sure he’d pissed himself. 

He was tossed into a cage and he landed roughly. He was glad to see Chewbacca sitting there. 

Awkwardly, his best friend sat him up with his fuzzy hands.

* What did they want to know? *

“Nothing, they just wanted to hurt me.” Han said, between uneven stinging gasps, “I just don’t understand.”

* It’s the empire. * Chewie gave him a look that definitely implied the word “obviously” at the end. 

“Yeah, you're not wrong about that,” Han said, his body was starting to regain some kind of control but he was still feeling panicked.  

* They are holding us for something*

“There was a bounty hunter there,” Han said through gritted teeth as he shifted position. 

* Sell you to a bounty hunter, and kidnap Leia .*

“Lay bait for Luke.” 

Chewie let out a long low growl.

“We can’t go out smacking skulls. We'll get ourselves killed.” 

* I like smashing skulls .* Chewie pouted. 

Han and Chewie sat and waited for a while as Chewie messed around with Threepio a bit more and Han tried to think what their next steps would be. He couldn’t just lie down and die; Leia and Luke were too important. He had to do something to give them a chance to survive this. It was too important, they were good people. He wanted the galaxy to be better and everything, but he wanted the woman he loved and his friend to be okay. He had to survive and get out of the joint! Get them all out of this alive.

He was finally breathing normally and he could move his hand. Panic had subsided just enough that he could think clearly, his thoughts sliding into place as he could now stand up. Legs were wobbly as all hell, but he moved to a block meant for sitting and sat down, well, more fell. He had to be able to move to save everyone and get his ass off this stupid station. 

“Next time they come to move us, we wait till we're somewhere we have some space. Then we turn on them and try and force our way around. Then we got to be as stealthy as possible, make our way to the ship bay and get to The Falcon. We’ll have to be careful, and we’ll have to wait to get a message to Luke telling him not to come here. Then it’s about getting someone to hack into coms transmission from this location. Figure out where they took Leia.”

A few long minutes passed before Chewie spoke to interrupt the silence. 

* That’s a lot of steps *

“Well, we’re in a lot of steps sort of situation, aren’t we?” Han said, getting back to his feet. He still felt a bit like he was spinning but now he could pace out the anxiety, his legs feeling strong under him and he felt in control of all his muscles. 

After a few minutes of getting the world to stay upright and trying to imagine the best place to fight back the door slid open and four stormtroopers stood at the door.

“You are to come with us.” The Trooper clipped.

“Of course,” Han grumbled, not enough time to get any plan off. 

They made their way to Han not sure where to make their stand before they hit their location. A room called “Carbon Freezing.” His stomach sank. Of kriff no, he was not being frozen in Carbonite. No way in Sith-hells was that happening to him. 

But if Vader was in there, there would be no choice, would there? They would just have to give up, there was no fighting Darth Vader. He would just end up dead, his body taken to Jabba The Hutt.

Once they got in there, Han was pleased to see that there was no Darth Vader there. He took in a breath and looked around him. An imperial man was there and then Boba Fett. Kark great. The four Stormtroopers on him and Chewie were not the worst odds he had ever fought against. Well, Boba Fett was a problem, but otherwise, this was pretty easy pickings. Chewie let out a noise that sounded dangerous and sad at once. He knew what was about to happen as well as Han did and was not any more pleased. It hurt a lot to think of his friend alone on this station. But he hoped Luke would get Chewbacca out and save Leia. But damn would it be a stupid way to go out. He did not want to be a decoration for Jabba The Hutt. 

He really wished he could fight like Luke right then. He looked over his shoulder at Chewie, who let out another dangerous noise and Han nodded. Chewie wanted to go for this, might as well give it a shot. T urning rapidly, he destabilised both of the men walking him forward, allowing him to get them to let him go so he used his knee to push one of them into the other causing one to fall back into Chewbacca who, while bound was still able to knee him violently into a puddle on the floor. The soldier holding Han from the front was distracted; Han grabbed the blaster from the holster and kicked it so he no longer had access. 

With a lot of force, Chewbacca reached behind him, picked up the Trooper with the gun behind him and smacked him to the ground, possibly killing him. 

The imperial agent reached for his comm, but Han was able to bum rush his Trooper forward enough that both men fell to the ground and then into the carbonite freezer itself. Han winced damn, he wondered if it hurt to just be in there if it wasn’t on.  Chewbacca snapping his bonds was so loud Han wanted to cover his ears as he stomped on the other Trooper and Chewie had a Trooper’s blaster pointed at Boba Fett right as Fett pointed his blaster at Han.

“Now, buddy, we can handle this like men,” Han said.

“I have a bounty on you, I fulfil my bounties.”

“Look, I have my girl to save, I have to make sure my friend gets out alive, and I have to get Chewbacca here out alive. I have to do these before I can get myself killed by Jabba The Hutt.”

“I can let you get your friend out of here alive and get Chewbacca out. But you've got to leave the saving of the princess to someone else.”

“You’re making a deal with me?”

“I will find you again if you run.”

“You mean you’ll play dirty tricks siding with Vader?”

“Vader goes through with his deals, unlike some smugglers I’ve heard of.”

“Why would you side with the Empire anyway?”

“I have my reasons.”

“But you’ll let me help my friends give him the slip?”

“I’ll just be hired to catch them next.”

“Fair.” Han shrugged.

“But do we have a deal?”

“What deal?”

“You get your friends off this station, then turn yourself in.”

“Only if you swear off taking bounties on Skywalker and if they get Leia back. ”

“He has the highest bounty in the empire.”

“And he’s done nothing wrong, if you think destroying a planet killing machine whose only use was mass murder is a good thing. He’s the biggest goodie-goodie to ever walk the galaxy. And well, Leia’s my girl.”

“Fine, I swear. Not like you’ll know after Jabba The Hutt kills you.”

“Luke seems to think we all become The Force. Maybe my Force essence will haunt you.”

“Banthashit.”

“Maybe.” Han shrugged

*I’m not killing him?*

“His armour might look like shit but I bet it’s beskar”

“Smart idiot.”

“Doesn’t mean we still couldn’t toss you around, get you in that hole, turn it on.”

Fett walked over and gave Han a communicator. “You can message me on this. I can track it too, so I'll know where you go and if you just drop it in deep space to give me the slip, in which case I'll start tracking you, the kid and everyone you've ever met. Go to Navaro, I’ll pick you up there. Your pretty Jedi boy can go free, for now, The Empire will just pick him up next thing you know.”

Han nodded his agreement as he backed away and they left the room. 

“Get these bonds off me?” Han said with an edge to his tone. 

Chewie shot it off, and Han felt free, though he also felt a bit like punching something. And he was pretty sure his brain was still fried. Life was very much complicated as all hell, and he wanted to karking sleep and drink something. And kiss Leia. And literally anything but be sneaking towards the flight bay with Chewbacca with a broken Threepio on his back. 

He was surprised when he ran into Lando, who was holding his blaster and holster and Chewbacca’s crossbow. 

“What do you want?” Han said, standing straight knowing Chewie had the blast held high.

“To find you before you are frozen.”

“Too late, or would have been.”

“Good thing I wasn't. Now, where are you two going?”

“Why would I tell you?”

“Vader broke our deal by taking Leia.”

“So he hurts the pretty lady and you draw the line there, but he can sell me and kill Luke and that’s okay.”

“He wasn’t going to kill Luke”

“Oh really, what was his plan?”

“Take Luke back to the Emperor.”

“Brainwash or torture him? Much better.”

“Yes, I know. Let’s move The Falcon is this way.”

Lando tossed Han and Chewie their supplies and they made their way through the halls like they were meant to be there almost the whole way there the troopers started moving with haste talking about the Jedi and Han cursed under his breath and he was surprised when he saw little Artoo buzzing along the side of the hall.

Artoo stopped and chirped at them.

Chewie let out a soft noise and switched Threepio on, who let a string of confused phrases before saying,

“Hello, Artoo! What has gotten into you, one thing at a time?”

Artoo let out a series of chirps and beeps.

“He’s saying that Luke is here and he has gone to fight Vader, but he came looking for us.”

“Well, yeah, we know,” Han said.

“Luke was unable to locate Princess Leia.” Threepio continued to translate. 

“No, she isn’t here.” Han agreed. 

Artoo let out a sad droid noise. Then his beeps came very rapidly again.

“He’s saying that we need to get The Falcon and be ready to get Luke out of here if he needs it.”

“We have to get data on where to find Leia first,” Han interjected. 

“I can link to my office data from any terminal and I'll put it into the droid, sound good?” Lando said. 

“How do I know you’re not selling me out to the Empire again?” Han asked.

“You don’t,” Lando said. 

“All I'm doing today is dealing with businessmen and bounty hunters. Give me space cults and royalty any day.” Han griped. 

His ex-friend gave him a stupidly cheesy smile and tapped into a model while Han and Chewie stood guard and Artoo plugged in. Thankfully it was quick and they were able to get moving. Han kept waiting for the other shoe to drop but the Troopers kept running the opposite way as them and were even gathering at another bay door making it easy enough for Lando to announce he was going this way and them to lazily ignore him and Chewbacca and Han dead sprint the last foot till they were safely on The Falcon. They got to the controls and then were all stopped by a lack of next steps. 

“Okay. Now, do we just wait for Luke to get here? How does he know where The Falcon is?” Han questioned.

Artoo let out a series of chirps.

“He says he can let Luke know the location of the ship via their communicator,” Threepio explained.

“Okay, that’s something,” Han grumbled. 

“Well, I think we should take off. Get Luke to use his Jedi magic and get himself off the base.” Lando said.

Han hit him on the backside of the head, “You could have told us all to leave”

“Fine, fine.” Lando conceded.

“Good.”

They all sat in their seats waiting for some kind of information, something to do. Then that sounded like an explosion and the whole station seemed to lurch.

Artoo seemed to beep rapidly and rolled to the front, extended his connector arm and beeped till Threepio came over and listened. 

“Artoo is letting us know Luke is telling us he is on the left side of the second major section of the city and needs a rescue ship,” Threepio explained.

“The hell did he do to my city?” Lando asked as he took off.

When they did arrive, they saw an entire side wall was now gone and the turbine was running on fumes with Luke standing on the far edge holding on with one arm. Lando manoeuvred the ship so they were under Luke and Han opened the top hatch. Luke dropped down with the most serene expression on his face. 

Han brought him down and gave him a hug. Looking him up and down, it was a bit disturbing as Luke was now missing an arm and gripping his Artoo communicator in the other one like it was his lifeline.

Whispering so Lando wouldn’t hear them,

“You good kid.”

“I lost an arm and my whole life is a lie,” Luke said, his eyes empty.

Han blinked, “Well, Darth Vader kidnapped Leia.”

“Of course he did.”

Chapter Text

Luke

[Hour 12:00 in Cloud City]

Luke dropped out of hyperspace in Bespin’s space and let out a loud breath. 

He practised his new skill and extended his senses, everything teemed with threat and danger. Tension filled his body, and he breathed out. There was no clear idea of what he needed to be prepared for. But it was what he had to do. There is no chaos, there is harmony. Every moment he moved closer, the warning from The Force grew stronger; he knew this place was going to be one that caused pain. But nevertheless, he kept flying. Reaching out again, he wasn’t close enough yet to tell what danger was or if the life signs belonged to Leia and Han, but he ploughed forward and his vision showed he had to be here, so he had to trust it. 

“Hello, Cloud City, I need to land here. I believe my comrades are already here?” Luke asked. 

“Who's requesting?” The cloud city operator asked.

Might as well go all in, “Luke Naberrie.”

“Permission granted to land on Platform for one-seven-two .”

“Thank you.” Luke let said into the com.

Luke centred himself as best he could, trying not to let the threat of the world invade him, his core was settled. There is no emotion, there is peace.

"Here we go Artooie," Luke said with a mirthless smile. 

Luke brought the X-Wing in, and before he could do it, he was almost jolted back by the feeling of Darth Vader. It was a darkness he didn’t know what to do with. He breathed in and centred himself. He had known since he was a youngling that he was going to have to deal with Darth Vader, so why be scared now? 

Pushing past the darkness, he hunted for his friends. He found Chewbacca and Han but no Leia. She had been in his vision, but she must not be here. Despair threatened to push into him but he tamped it down. He would know if she was dead, like he did when Ahsoka had died. Leia was strong enough in The Force that it would send ripples. He had to believe that to keep going. Thinking too much about a dead Leia would not be helpful. And well if she was dead, there was nothing he could do but make sure no one else lost sisters, mothers and fathers. There is no death there is The Force.

And facing down Darth Vader was all he was meant for anyway. Damn anything else. 

Landing, he got out and got the workers to take Artooie out. Coming over to Artoo, he patted his head and bent down and made sure Artoo’s communicator setting was on. He rubbed his head again. This little guy was such a good friend. 

“Okay little guy, find Han and Chewie to help them out. Then make sure they know I’m going to Vader and might need an exit. And see if they can figure out where Leia is. I can't find her.”

Artoo beeped as they entered the main city. Artoo rolled off Luke and let out a long breath. He followed the Darkness Darth Vader would be at the core of the cold.

Luke found Vader staring out a window, arms clasped behind him. The hall was empty of people with doors lining the hall. Luke ignited his sabre and took in a deep breath.

“Have you come to fight me, child?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I must.”

Luke didn’t know what to do. Offensive fighting wasn’t his main style. He was trained in Ataru and Vaapad, but his mastery was mainly in Soresu and Djem So. He’d picked fights but right now he couldn’t be sloppy; he’d lose. But he also couldn’t be a coward.

He changed his stance and moved forward, attacking Vader in Ataru form. Vader turned and blocked it in a perfect parry. Luke landed gracefully without losing his poise at all. Luke jumped side to side, trying to land blow after blow. Sparks dazzled his view. 

They shifted to a more evenly matched flow as Luke moved his energy to protective Soresu but Vader stayed in Djem So. Luke took a deep breath, holding his own. They were evenly matched as they battled down the hallways. The noise of sabres clashing filled the halls. A background awareness that Vader might be playing with his food nagged at him. 

The fighting turned more savage as they pushed through a sliding door into a larger empty room filled with the noise of a turbine. Vader slipped into a form Luke didn’t know it was all Force and power. Pushing Luke forward with no breaks. It required all the strength Luke could muster physically and in The Force to stay standing.  Luke could tell his own breathing had started to become ragged.  As the energy started to sap out of him, the darkness of Vader pushed into his mind he was slammed into the wall by his ribs. Air was shoved out of him. He dropped his sabre.

“You're going to strangle me to death like my mother? Kill me like you did my parents?” Luke said with his remaining air, 

“I did not kill your father!” Vader replied calmly 

Luke didn’t reply, he just tried to breathe.

“I am your father,” Vader said.

“Huh?” Luke said, feeling slightly giddy from the lack of air he could get to his lungs.

Vader dropped him. 

“You are a Skywalker,” Vader repeated.

Luke used The Force to reach for his sabre, calling it towards himself, getting to his feet. 

Vader slammed him to the ground, causing Luke’s head to swim. He was pretty sure he was now bleeding. He hung on to the sabre with all his might. 

“Search your feelings and you know this to be true.” Vader insisted.”

He wasn’t lying, “So you’re killing me?” Luke asked weakly.

“If you come with me, we can run the empire together! You can have all the power in the galaxy!”

Power? Power was the problem! Power was what got people killed. Why was this what his father thought he wanted?

“No,” Luke said, standing to his feet again. This time, Vader didn’t slam him around but did something he was not expecting and quickly sliced Luke’s hand off. 

A scream escaped Luke’s mouth, and Luke didn’t quite remember screaming. Luke turned on Vader. He reached out with The Force feeling for one of the mechanisms in Vader’s suit around his breathing apparatus and snapped it. 

With the last of his energy, he pushed the side of the room out and caused the wall to break out and part of the turbine to bend causing the entire building to lurch. Vader lurched backwards and swayed his way out of the room. 

Luke fell into the wall and let out another scream and felt tears fall down his face. Before he schooled his emotions. To a blank expression and dulled the pain in his arm as much as he could. Unsure what he could possibly do.

Pulling out his Artoo communicator Luke said,  “I'm on the left side of the second major section of the city and a rescue would be nice if you found The Falcon.”

A series of beeps in the affirmative came.

The only thing Luke could think of was the burning pain in his arm and the swirling words “I am your father”

The ship finally showed up and Luke dropped in. Han caught him and helped him back into the common room away from the cockpit and spoke in a whisper:

“You good kid?”

“I lost an arm and my whole life is a lie,” Luke said, his brain swimming. 

Han blinked slowly with an apologetic expression. “Well, Darth Vader kidnapped Leia.”

“Of course he did,” Luke said. His life was a joke.

Spots started to feel Luke’s vision, his arms hurt like kark and his head hurt. Han walked him over to the side.

Han was talking, but Luke couldn’t hear any of it; all Luke could hear was a ringing noise.

“I’m gonna pass out,” Luke mumbled, and then the world went dark.

Chapter Text

Luke woke up with a start. Chewie sat next to him, letting out a soft, sad noise, and patted him on the shoulder.

Luke couldn’t say anything because he was pretty sure he was going to throw up if he opened his mouth. His arm was on fire, breathing felt like he was being stabbed and his head was spinning. He was glad when Chewie offered a basin. He couldn't hold it back any longer and Luke turned over and threw up. He turned over on his back, gasping for air. There was nothing in his mind but a flurry of pain and sickness.  Luke tried to gather The Force around him to pull himself awake but it felt like he was trying to grab barbed wire. 

His vision was filled with dark circles. He gasped in pain, his tears rolling down hot and fast. 

Everything went out again. 

~~~~~~

Luke awoke to feeling people sliding him onto a stretcher. 

“Don’t worry, we’re just taking you to the medical centre.”

“Huh?” Luke asked, confused as kark. All he could think about was how much he felt was spinning and the pain searing up his arm. 

“You’ll be okay. Got some bacta for your injuries. Hypo spray for nausea.” The Medic reassured him. 

Luke felt spinning again, and he tried to fight everything off and stay awake, but The Force still felt sharp and his breathing was hard and shallow. 

Darkness crept around him again and he was wrapped in it. 

~~~~~~

Luke finally drifted awake calmly, not into a world of pain; his arm still stung but it was wrapped in a dressing. He brought his hand up and felt two bacta patches on the back of his head. He sighed. At least he was no longer in burning pain. Breathing in he also no longer felt like vomiting or passing out, which was nice. The world had also stopped spinning and he could see clearly. He reached for the Force and he could truly feel it now; his force exhaustion must have lessened a bit. And now there was warmth and full of life, but the people felt intrusive and somewhat surreal. So he moved on to the resonance of the stars. And that felt right. 

A healer with wavy black hair, dark skin and deep brown eyes came in and asked him lots of questions about how he was feeling and brought a hypospray and put it around the edge of his missing hand.

“You want a prosthetic, correct?” The healer asked.

“Uh yeah, yeah,” Luke said, nodding his head.

“We can fix you up with that,” she smiled. 

Luke sat in the bland room. He took in a long breath and focused on the humming of the stars. Using the Force, he blanked out the remaining pain from his body. 

 Images of Vader cascaded into his mind. 

I am your father , Luke flinched. You are a Skywalker, His breath hitched in his throat.  We can run the empire together ,

“No, no, no, “ Luke mumbled. 

Luke focused again on the stars. People karking suck, but the stars were still there for him. The vastness of space, the galaxy, could fill him up and surround him. 

“Okay, time to fit you with a prosthetic,” the healer from earlier said with a smile. 

A different healer with bright orange hair came in after and they both rolled him into another room and put another hypospray in his shoulder and Luke drifted back into sleep.

~~~~~~

Waking up, he had a mechanical hand connected to his wrist. It looked like his skin, except for the hole with wires. He took in a deep breath and wiggled the finger. They moved but he couldn’t properly feel them. And there was a stinging pain around his wrist, even with the tech they had now. He shook his head. It was strange. He used the hand and picked up a piece of flimsy sitting next to him, it was so weird to half feel something. 

Now, for the real test, he picked up his hand and focused on The Force. The Force still moved through him and he was able to use it to squeeze a jar of Q-tips till it shattered. That was probably rude to do but it felt good. The only thing that felt good, or anything he could really describe.  He couldn't tell what he felt in general. Overwhelmed was the best word. Like his nerves were on fire, but at the same time empty. He just wanted to curl up and never move again. He was so tired. 

But he also knew he needed to act. To save his sister and to train harder so he could win next time. Be done with this all. Then he could rest, just sleep and stare at the stars. 

He still smiled but with glassy eyes as he felt Han’s presence behind him. 

“You okay?” Han asked, sitting in front of him.

“Yeah, or at least better,” Luke said, using his real hand to pick at his sleeve. 

“That’s good. You scared me a bit there. Thought Vader might have done some Force tactic and killed you.”

“He cut my hand off and gave me some massive head wounds. I think that’s bad enough.”

“Yeah, that is bad.”

“I was also Force exhausted. So that had me out for a bit too.”

“Oh yeah, seeing that makes you pass out before. Should have remembered that.”

“Thought you hated Jedi stuff.”

“I do. But I decided I preferred that to business kriff.”

“Okay...I’m missing something.”

“Had to make friends with my old business partner to get off that station. Though he also got us handed over to Vader in the first place.”

“Great, someone even shadier than you.”

“Absolutely.” 

“Yay,” Luke muttered.

“Don’t worry, Chewie 's keeping an eye on him.”

“Oh, that’s good. Chewie will snap his head off.”

“Yes, he will,” Luke said with a half smile growing across his face. 

Han returned his smile for a second before they both lapsed into staring past each other. 

They sat in silence. Leia, of course, was the subject Han was thinking of. He was broadcasting the thought for any Force sensitive to hear. Planning to find her was, of course, the most important plan. He would have to get the StarRunner crew to come with them.

Luke also needed to talk to his buir to ask. What The Actual Kark. But that could wait. 

As he waited for Han to come to him with his question about Leia, he realised Han was hiding another thought under the thought about Leia. He was hiding something and it was making him very afraid. Yay, more stuff that was making them very afraid and dangerous. 

The healer came in and smiled. “Final checks on your hand.”

She sat down with a tray of little instruments and tested his ability to feel pricks as he touched his new fingers. At first, he felt nothing. But as the little wires were adjusted, he felt the smallest touch and Luke smiled. It was definitely not normal. But he was supposed it was a lot more normal than whatever his father had going in his Vader suit so what did he know? 

“You’re all set. You do need to rest, though. It’s a new prosthetic, going out there swinging your sabre around will take a little time. And your body was running on levels of stress that would make a normal body die so rest.”

Luke huffed but leaned back on the chair. 

Turning to Han. Luke said, “I will get in touch with the Runner crew and ask around about knowledge of where they keep special prisoners.”

“And rest, kid?”

“And make sure I can use this hand.”

“You’re not going to rest, you’re not going to even sleep.”

Luke felt anger boil up inside him, heat flushing his face, “What the kark do you want me to do?”

“You have to be in top shape to save Leia. Going in with a half ass plan will get you nowhere.”

“Utreekov hut'uun”, Luke said under his breath. 

“I don’t speak Mando.”

“ Maya Wermo”, Luke said louder.

“Okay, okay, no need to be rude,” Han said, holding his hands up. 

“Leia, my friend, has been kidnapped. My hand has been cut off. I had to face Darth Vader. They did god knows what to you and Chewie. This is not my day.”

“Okay, fair point. Yeah, I had to sleep off a bit of torture when I got here. It is not a good few days.”

“Yes, this is not a few good days.”

“Okay, I’ll let you sleep.”

Luke grabbed Han by the arm and pulled him down into an awkward hug and whispered, “Are there cameras in here?”

Han looked around, “Can you understand yes or no in Wookie?”

Luke nodded 

Han, “I’ll send Chewie in. He should be able to catch you up.”

Han left, and Luke focused again on the stars, trying his best to ignore the life signs all around him in the station. He still wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about people, of any kind right now. Did he want to save his sister? Yes, but he still really didn’t want to deal with everything so messy and loud and subject to lies and subterfuge. He’d thought he understood, but he didn’t understand anything. 

The safest person in the galaxy lied to him.

But his father had still definitely killed a lot of people and had only sought him out to try and make him join him in oppressing said galaxy. Not seeming to care if his own son died in the process. 

And his mother, apparently his buir had not lied to him about that, considering Vader hadn’t denied killing her

And damn he wanted to throw up again and his hand was hurting like kriff.

The image of his own hand flying off interjected itself into his mind, the noise of his father’s breathing was like it was right behind him. He breathed heavy and pressed through as hard as he could, focusing on the feeling of the galaxy. And it filled him up pushing the noise out. 

He was so confused. He was so confused. Who was he? Who was he if he was the son of Vader? What did that mean? Was he some kind of time bomb? Why did they lie to him?

He wanted to see La’ara. She knew what it was like to be lied to. She had never lied to him. She was the most honest person to ever exist. 

Chewie interrupted his pity party and patted him comfortingly on his head. 

* No noise * Chewie said and passed him over a communicator that was taken from the Falcon and therefore not recorded. 

Luke smiled and then leaned over and hugged the giant fuzzball and then leaned back and looked up.

“Thanks buddy. I’m so sorry I didn't get to you all faster.”

* Okay * 

“I love you and Han. I really do. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

* Know *

Luke rubbed his face in Chewies’ soft stomach and then sat back.

Chewie patted his head and left Luke alone. Inputting the com code Luke waited with baited breath before La’ara popped up on the screen.

“What’s up Solo?”

“It’s Luke.”

“Luke," La’ara smiled brightly, then her face fell. “What’s wrong?”

“Everything,” Luke said, and tears streamed down his face. 

“Start from the beginning.”

“Vader took Leia, they have my sister. And my buir lied to me about my father. And Vader cut my hand off!!”

“Wait, your hand was cut off? They took Leia?” La’ara shouted.

“The hand thing is fixed. I also had my head banged up and Force exhaustion, so I had to get a little medical attention. But you have to come here. Leia is taken, she’s stolen.”

“We will. Send us the location and we’ll be there. We’ll help you get Leia back. I swear to you we will save Leia.”

“She’s my sister,” Luke whined

“I know,” La’ara said, her voice steady, “Luke, take a minute and breathe, okay? Whatever happened, you will get through this. We will get through this.”

Luke wanted to believe her so badly. But all he could ever think about was the rage and despair churning inside him.

Chapter Text

Darth Vader

Darth Vader breathed even harder than normal. His clever son Luke damaged his respirator, so he was only getting half of his normal oxygen. 

He could feel the signature of the stupid smuggler, the leader of this station, the Wookie and his son disappear. Nothing he could do about that now, he’d find his son, or the child would come to his father. As was the way for sons who met their fathers.

“I will return to my ship,” Vader rasped out when he reached his trooper, “I will meet the Executor.”

“Sir.” The Stormtrooper replied.

Vader kept his gait long and his head high. But his head was starting to feel light. His son was intuitive enough to figure out how to reach into a machine he didn’t know and snap the right piece while injured. Showed he was his father’s son. Vader was smarter with technology than most of the engineers and better with The Force in an active manner than The Emperor ever could be. Apparently, his son was just like him. 

Falling into his seat, he took another shuddering breath. Why hadn’t they just brought the whole ship here and just shot the whole damn thing out of the sky? Because they could use the product being mined, or whatever excuse the admirals gave. And it was useful to have the Hutts on your side giving over the smuggler. Playing politics. Funny how now they didn’t have that. Maybe it was good, Vader hated playing with the Hutts, all these years later and he still wished he could cut their slug heads off. But if he must, he'd track down the useless smuggler and toss him over. 

The Princess could be worth it though. While she was weak and untrained, another Force user on your side was going to be an asset.

He turned his thoughts to Luke and mused about how Luke used his mother’s name, not even her royal name. It was kind in a way to remember his mother. When he’d learned that the fighter who’d blown up the Death Star, that signature he’d felt was his son, he’d been so angry that he’d never realised his child was out there. 

But now there was nothing to be done about that past; Luke was here now, even if he had been poisoned by Kenobi. He could feel the Jedi in this child. He was soaked in the teaching of his old masters, the way he breathed before a fight sounded like Yoda and the form three and sabre spin were all Kenobi. Though his ability to move between forms did show he’d learned from others. But they were all dead now, he’d told Luke. And they would find Yoda, if he hadn’t already died. There weren’t Jedi out there for Luke to run to. 

But Luke had Vader and the entire empire waiting for him. A whole Galaxy to rule, why would he rather live on the run?

Maybe because he was his father’s son, Vader did enjoy missions and fighting and action. There was nothing to be done, Luke would join the Dark Side either through his father or through Sidious. All it would come to would be a new Sith Lord. Luke was more powerful than even he knew, more powerful than Vader himself with training. 

All he had to do was teach this child he was Skywalker, The Child of Vader, not Naberrie the Padawan of Kenobi. Their battle hadn’t been enough, but there was more out there to instruct Luke on how to act, on how to feel the true power of the Dark Side. 

Maybe Vaser could use The Princess? If Luke loved this woman, if Vader had control over her, maybe he could control Luke? 

There was always enough pain to convince someone to change.

Chapter Text

To Be a Skywalker's first chapter is posted. I'm a few chapters ahead already, so go check out the first chapter :D