Chapter Text
- Hey, HEY
- TWINS WATCH OUT I’M RIGHT HEcGfnknsuicGsOifsrUG-
- ….
- ….
- “Hi guys, it’s Rin, I hijacked the list well Jester is in the medbay after the twins knocked into him and bent his arm out of shape”- Rin
- “Oh wait!! I forgot that not all the humans on base know about the base’s own personal list-maker!!”
- “Let’s fix that.”
- Video.23jgdz4 attachment
“This thing working?,” Rin asked, tapping the Ipad screen before settling in a chair she’d set up. Smiling, the metal armed young woman got comfortable, cracking the knuckles in her right hand.
“I figured that since Jester is always telling you all about our lives, it’s only fair that we get a small peek into his,” Rin explained, “So let’s let me tell you about Jester, and how he accidentally fragged a Decepticon, stole an ancient relic of Cybertron, crashed on Earth, and joined the Autobots! Once upon a time, deep in space……..”
“FRAG FRAG FRAG-,” a younger purple and black mech screamed as his shuttle started a rapid descent towards the ruins of Cybertron, “NOT GOOD!!” Ignoring the screaming alarms and warnings popping up on his screens, Jester gripped the armrest of his seat and braced himself for landing, and quite possibly death.
Needless to say, when neither happened, he was confused. Opening one optic slowly, he saw the ground just few away from the nose of his ship. “Ha HA!,” Jester jeered, “Take that gravity you son of a gli-” His ship swayed once and then plummeted, knocking Jester offline, just as a small group of scouts came upon the vessel.
The world was not supposed to look us bright, that was for fragging sure. Jester groaned as he was pulled online unwillingly by his stupid processor. When he attempted to reach up to cradle his throbbing head, he found his arms restrained, then his legs. Not a good sign.
He pulled at his limbs harshly, cursing Primus under his breath the entire time, so much that he didn’t even notice when the doors across from him opened and a bot walked in, some sort of purple symbol printed proudly on his chest. Jester stopped once he caught the glint of light shining on a very broad cheastplate. Staring quietly at his cheastplate, his gaze went up and he smiled weakly at the very attractive bot before him. “No chance you’re here to let me free?,” Jester asked sweetly, tugging twice on his restraints.
“Nope,” the mech grinned, crossing his arms, a playful grin on his face, “Though I’d love to know your designation.” “Didn’t your creators teach you that a gentlemech always introduces himself first?,” Jester asked sarcastically. “Didn’t yours?,” the mech replied in an amused voice. “Orphan,” Jester said in a sing-song voice, “So I get pity points and you get to introduce yourself handsome.”
“Handsome?,” the mech chuckled, shaking his head, “You are quite amusing.” “And you are…?” “Dreadwing,” the mech finally said. “Jester,” Jester introduced. “An intriguing name for an intriguing mech,” Dreadwing mused, stepping around to circle Jester.
“Take a holovideo, it’ll last longer,” Jester huffed as the mech circled back around to his front. “Why bother when the real thing is so much better?,” Dreadwing asked. Jester felt his faceplates grow slightly warm at the….flirtatious tone Dreadwing was using. “What’s wrong, Autobot? Predacon got your tongue,” Dreadwing teased.
“N-no, and hold on- what the frag is an Autobot,” Jester questioned, “I’m a nomad, been traveling since before the war even began, and crashed here by mistake. So I haven’t exactly caught up on the latest news here.” Dreadwing gave him a bewildered stare before huffing slightly. “Hm, I’d typically suspect foul play, but you did crash rather magnificently and you have no mark suggesting otherwise…,” Dreadwing observed, looking him over carefully, “But Lord Megatron has insisted you be questioned thoroughly regardless.” “Joy,” Jester deadpanned as Dreadwing resumed his circling, “You trying to imitate a vulture over there or something?”
“You have quite the mouth on you,” Dreadwing hummed. “I’m infamous for it,” Jester said, sending a wink at Dreadwing, densely not realizing the double meaning he’d just implied. “I see,” Dreadwing smirked, edging closer to Jester’s face. He stared at him intently for some time before drawing back.
“The way I see it Jester, I can interrogate you here, for a long and hard time until I decide that you are telling the truth, or…..” he trailed off, running one servo up JEster’s arm, sending tingles down his spine, “I could accept you are telling the truth, and instead bring you to my berthroom for a more……thorough interrogation.” Jester didn’t miss the invitation and seeing no other way out of his situation as well as observing the mech’s strong build, he did what any in his situation would do.
“Should I keep these cuffs on?”
“Yeah it wasn’t until around a year ago, when he told us all this story that we put two and two together for him,” Rin said, pausing the story to laugh, “I wish I could have gotten everyone’s reaction on camera. But anyways, back to the story……”
Waking up to a small beam of sunlight, Jester very quickly and quietly moved himself out from under the arm of Dreadwing. “It was fun mech,” he whispered before slipping out of the room, clutching one of the many pistols Dreadwing had around as well as code for the doors.
See, Jester wasn’t that stupid. He may not have known what the frag Decepticons and Autobots were, but he knew ‘crazy bots’ when he saw them as this Decepticon thing sounded more and more like a cult each minute. So it was time to end this unexpected vacation and leave Cybertron, which he needed supplies and a ship for.
Jester hadn’t really planned on getting captured, or fragged, that well, for that long, arguably the best he’d ever had-
Where was he going with this- oh yeah, supplies and himself not being a dumbaft.
Quietly, he activated his special mode, a camouflage cover that let him blend in with the walls as he crept along the base. Occasionally, he’d pass by a few guards or what looked to be civilians, but what really creeped him out was when he saw in passing a really creepy looking mech with one optic: Shockwave.
Jester suppressed a shiver. Despite being a traveler, he knew just as well as any Cybertroian what kind of horrors the infamous scientist was known to cook up. As soon as the metal monster walked out of sight, Jester started his pass just a little quicker, not eager to get caught up in anything that that demon was involved with.
“Fragging finally!,” Jester sighed as he ran into a hanger, pedes aching as he’d been walking around the base for hours now, trying to find a ship. Taking a quick look across the hangar, he sprinted for the ship and slipped inside, ignoring the slightly glowing case in the back.
Humming to himself, he closed up all the doors before starting up the engines, nearly jumping out of his armor as panicked shouts started to rise up outside. “SOMEONE STOP THAT SHUTTLE!!”
“Okay, that is my cue to leave,” Jester muttered to himself, racing through the last steps for take off. He felt the ship shake as something rammed into the side and Jester yelped, pecking out the window to see a large gray mech storming towards the ship, one arm raised with a very scary cannon aimed at the ship. “YEAH NO-,” Jester yelled, steering clear of the mech’s aim and zooming up into the sky.
Back on the ground, Megatron snarled deeply, watching as this mystery mech flew away in his shuttle, carrying one of the Decepticons most valuable relics. The one of the two remaining shreds of the All-Spark on Cybertron.
“HOW DO I SWITCH THESE COORDINATES?!,” Jester screamed as the ship he stole started gearing up to drag him through to some unknown planet via the space bridge technology. Apparently, this ship was destined for some place called Earth and now Jester was being taken there, with a weird glowing thing in the back and half a will to live. Bracing himself as the jump came into view, he gripped the dashboard and closed his eyes as he was blasted into the unknown, uncertain of what would await him.
“In, RIN!,” came a loud voice from beyond the camera and Rin peeked around, waving someone in. “In here Ella! Giving the base the story of Jester,” she called out. Ella appeared on camera a few moments later, holding a babbling Iacona. “Hey ya’ll,” she waved, gently grabbing Iacona’s hand to wave at the camera too. “I’m just getting to the part where he crashed into Earth, wanna join in?,” Rin asked. “Always,” Ella grinned, dragging over a chair, “You get to where he crashed yet?” “Nope.” “Perfect,” Ella beamed, “My favorite part!”
Jester groaned as he came online, a faint throb in his processor. “Son of a glitch,” he murmured, rubbing his head as he picked himself up from the floor of his shuttle. Only this was not his shuttle. Panic set in before Jester remembered what had happened.
“Crashed into Cybertron,” he recounted, “Slept with a mech, stole a shuttle, now here.” Sighing tiredly, he went to the back, where he could see some trickles of light coming through. Shoving aside some debris, he paused momentarily to pick up the glowing box, which he decided to store in his sub-space for now.
Kicking down a large metal piece blocking his exit, Jester was momentarily blinded by the light pouring into his optics from outside. He quickly dimmed his sensitivity in his optics and pulled a device out to get a reading on his surroundings.
Once his sight cleared, he was pleased to see that he landed in some sort of area of dense vegetation, a forest if he remembered correctly from the last organic planet he’d visited. It was bright and colorful, sunlight gently hitting the plants around him and lighting up the small flowers that decorated the area.
“Location: Southern Hemisphere of planet, designation: Earth,” he read from his device, “Air quality good…no signs of Cybertroian life…..planet population referred to as humans, known predators….frag.” He sighed. Of course he’d land on a planet full of predators with no signs of Cybertroians-
A furious beeping suddenly erupted from his tablet and he swore has signs of an incoming ground bridge where detected. Thinking quickly, he ran for cover in some of the greenery, activating his camouflage and his blockers. A moment later, the familiar swirl of green and purple opened up in the small clearing he’d created from the crash and four bots jumped out, all sporting a symbol somewhat similar to the one he’d seen on Dreadwing, only red and cooler.
The biggest one made Jester’s optics widen as he easily was double his size and carrying a very deadly ax on his back. “Anything Bumblebee?,” the mech asked the smallest one present, who was bright yellow. The little bot shook his head. “Prime, I’m getting All-Spark signatures from this area,” another one spoke, voice filled with shock. That mech had a bright blue visor and was carrying an equally deadly looking gun as Prime’s ax- WAIT
“PRIME?!?,” Jester exclaimed, leaping up from his hiding space and making all four mechs jump, “PRIME AS IN OPTIMUS PRIME AS IN THE PRIME OF CYBERTRON PRIME?!”
“WHO THE FRAG?!,” one yelped, a medic symbol painted on his arm. Jester ducked quickly as the visored mech raised his weapon at him before the Prime signaled for him to lower his gun.
“You can come out friend,” the Prime called out and Jester slowly moved out from the bushes, deactivating his camouflage. He quickly raised his hands in peace. “No harm meant,” he said, smiling wildly, “Just passing through.”
“Who are you?,” the medic asked, looking skeptical. “Jester,” he introduced with a dramatic bow, “At your service.” “Jester….your name is one I have heard,” the Prime mentioned thoughtfully, “And your ship…..”
“It’s a long story, but this mech named Meggie or something like that wasn’t using it…well wasn't on it, so I kinda borrowed it and it had pre-set coordinates and now I’m here,” Jester explained. “What in the frag where you doing on a Decepticon base?,” the medic demanded. “Sorry doc, but I think that it’s only fair you introduce yourselves,” Jester smiled. The Prime chuckled.
“As you seemed to have recognized, I am Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots. This is my second in command Jazz, my CMO Ratchet, and the scout Bumblebee. Now I’m afraid I must also ask that you identify yourself in this war.”
“Not a part of it,” Jester shrugged, “I’m a nomad, only ever been to Cybertron twice, and that includes yesterday when I accidentally crashed on the planet.” “And you just happen to sneak into a Decepticon base and steal Megatron’s shuttle?,” Ratchet was more questioned. “Yes and no, I was brought to the base and then kinda ran for it after this one mech, Dreadwing invited me back to his place for the night, well to clarify, I spent the night and then ran for it, and yeah, first shuttle I saw.”
“There’s no way that story is possibly true,” Ratchet deadpanned. “I mean, I’ve got this glowing box thing that was on the shuttle if you want proof. Old metal head Meggie was a bit mad I took it,” Jester offered, reaching into his subspace to grab the box. As soon as he pulled it out, all four of the mechs let out some sort of gasp, or Optimus’s case, a raised optic.
“By the All-Spark, it’s a piece of the All-Spark!,” Ratchet exclaimed. “NO FRAG THIS IS A PIECE OF THE ALL-SPARK?!,” Jester yelled, “AND I’VE JUST HAD IT WITH ME?!?!” Bumblebee was beeping in excitement and Jazz was grinning wildly.
“Say mech, wanna join the Autobots? Cause I’m pretty sure Megatron will kill you if he finds you again,” Jazz offered. “Oh frag,” Jester groaned, “Yeah, yeah I’ll join.”
Later on at base, after Jester was introduced and settled in……..
“Optimus?,” Bumblebee asked his sire-like figure. “Yes?,” he replied. “Are we going to just ignore the fact that Jester slept with Dreadwing before all of this?” Optimus sighed, looking over to where Jester was joking around with the Chaos Twins. “At times, Bumblebee, I find it best to simply let things go to rest.”
“So yeah, that’s how Jester got to us and how he stole from Megatron himself,” Rin snickered. “A truly beautiful tale,” Ella said, whipping a fake tear from her eye before both women fell into laughter, the camera cutting off and the video.