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Chapter Text

They say a broken heart is useless, that without the will to beat, and without the means to go on, it is without purpose and serves no more use than a torn sail does to a ship stuck out at sea. 

He disagreed wholeheartedly. 

For it was the broken hearts that thought so creatively, it was the broken hearts that searched endlessly for answers that they could never supply, it was the broken hearts that led the greatest of marches and ended the most violent of wars, and it was the broken-hearted that welcomed him.  

He remembers not much from his time as a child, only that he was raised by his brothers–both of whom were older than him, a seven and eight-year difference—that they both did their best even as children themselves to take care of him. To make sure he ate enough and was protected when he was sick.  

He ignored the fact that he looked like a replica of both of them mixed. None of them ever spoke about how he looked six parts like his Er-ge and four parts like his Da-ge, and the fact that they never told him which one of them he was biologically related to as a result, yet it was always well known that the two were not biologically related to each other by any means. 

They lived on the streets of any town they went through, and the human traffickers couldn’t stay in one place for exceedingly long, so they moved at least once a year. He didn’t mind back then, his Da-ge always turned it into a game for him, telling him to count how many red houses they passed, how many horses he saw, and how many fat men walked by unnoticing of the three boys who hid under the tarp of one of the wagons. 

His Er-ge was crueler in comparison to his Da-ge, always yelling at someone, he never liked the other slave children, always running them away from his territory and never letting them play with his Didi. He never minded back then, the other kids scared him, they were much bigger than he was, and he wasn’t good at talking.  

The human traffickers used to like him. He always heard them say that since he was the smallest and sickliest among them, he was the best for begging. They used to push a ratty old blanket in his arms and send him out to street corners, pinching his cheeks and his arms until he bruised and started crying, then ordering him to sit there until it got dark so people would take pity on him and give him money.  

He never understood those days, only that afterward his eyes would be sore, his arms and cheeks would be sore, and his brothers would be upset. His Da-ge always hugged him, comforting him and braiding his hair while his Er-ge used words he hadn’t been allowed to say back then, yelling, and shouting until his energy was spent and he would join him and Da-ge to sit down and fall asleep together.  

In comparison to the rest of his life, he missed those cold nights on the street. Even though they were sickly and their bellies were constantly empty, at least they had each other. At least they could still speak together, play together, and at least he could still see them.  

The start of his unfortunate life started the day his brothers saved one of the other slave children from Qiu Jianluo’s horse. His Er-ge, otherwise known as Shen Jiu, turned a rock into a dagger and stabbed his horse. His Da-ge, Yue Qi, had been the one to run ahead and try to help the boy, but he had almost gotten trampled, and his Er-ge stepped in before he could get hurt.  

It had ended badly, very, very badly.  

Qiu Jianluo took his brother and himself. He wasn’t sure why he had taken him, but all he knew was that he had been locked in a strange room without either of his brothers, alone and scared. He started crying immediately, calling out for his brothers, and wailing until someone came inside.  

It was the young mistress of the house; Qiu Haitang, she had heard someone crying so heart-wrenchingly that she of course had to go inside that room and see who could be crying so wretchedly.  

Instead, she found a sickly, scrawny, and pale six-year-old who shivered and cried harder when she came inside. She had told him to stop his crying, that he clearly wasn’t that badly hurt, and he should know better than to make such a fuss. He obeyed her quickly, terrified that the young master he had seen before would come back and yell at him as he had when he first took him and his Er-ge. 

She had then taken him to get cleaned up, redressed in the nicest robes he had ever owned, and even started calling him Didi. He never got to see his Er-ge in those walls, no matter how he begged Qiu Haitang, she always told him that his brother was busy and that he was her servant to play with, so he shouldn’t be concerned about anyone else but her. 

He learned early on to never question her.  

While the young mistress was quite nice to him, even though she only saw him as a mere plaything rather than a person, that brother of hers…was by no means as kind or understanding.  

The few times Qiu Jinaluo had heard him crying or walked in on him begging Qiu Haitang to let him see his brother, he had earned himself a good few slaps to the face, maybe even a few good kicks to the ribs if Qiu Haitang wasn’t there. 

He learned that to keep himself alive and safe, he had to be silent. It was better to just never speak unless spoken to, only stealing glances to the courtyard that Qiu Jinluo possessed and praying that he might just catch a glimpse of his brother, which he rarely ever did, and when they saw each other, Shen Jiu always looked on the verge of committing terrible acts of rage. 

Shen Yuan learned that it was best not to look. 

Three years went by in that house where he rarely ever saw his brother. If they were allowed to see each other, it was only briefly, just long enough that Shen Jiu could hug him and pat him down for injuries. In which he would bite his tongue and keep himself from crying every time his brother touched a fresh bruise.  

In the end, however, they weren’t allowed to spend all that much time alone together. Qiu Jinluo once heard Shen Jiu bad-mouthing him and planned on escaping with his brother in tow; he had thoroughly beaten both Shen brothers until a few older servants had to come to take away a bloody Shen Jiu and the near-unconscious little brother. 

All the while, he spat and hissed. “Jiu and Shi, huh? No wonder you’re named so ridiculously! We can’t trust you two alone together!” 

Despite being near unconscious, he loathed that he couldn’t speak up to say that his brothers had named him better, that ‘Shi’ was not his name, and it never would be. 

One day, Qiu Haitang demanded that they leave the estate to spend a few nights in a few towns over where a large shopping district was.  

He had been less than enthused to leave, but they had only been gone for a few days when they returned only to see the remains of the Qiu manor. Everyone, aside from a few women, was dead, the manor burned down, and the entire Qiu family, aside from Qiu Haitang, was dead. 

Qiu Haitang cried over and over that it wasn’t fair that her fiancé was dead and gone just like her brother, that fate was truly so unfair and cruel. He wholeheartedly agreed with her as he did his best to comfort her, the petty and bitter part of his heart flaring to life at the idea of his brother ever having to marry into that family.  

For some time, they lived in a smaller estate associated with the family. The servants that were left were undyingly loyal, raising Qiu Haitang and himself until the day he turned eleven.  

He had come down with a terrible fever, so sick that even Qiu Haitang’s shouting couldn’t get him to stir. She ended up crying at his bedside, worried sick that her precious Didi was dying, and she would be left all alone with not even the last shard of her fiancé to remember the good old days.  

He had come out of the fever, sweaty and disgusting. The entire week he had been sick, Qiu Haitang had only visited him once or twice, and then he was left to his own devices. Writhing in pain and terrified. He remembered the entire time he prayed that he’d die, that this damned fever would kill him, and he could see his Er-ge again. 

He didn’t know what happened to his Da-ge, he hadn’t seen him since he was six years old, maybe he was gone too? If he was, then he’d see him again, and if he weren’t he’d wait for him at the gates and welcome him with open arms. 

Unfortunately, fate truly was a cruel thing, and he had survived. Only to be continuously shunned in his room, given barely anything to drink or eat until the day that man came. 

That man was cruel, even worse than Qiu Jinluo had been. He lied to Qiu Haitang and the other servants, telling them that he was the owner of a boarding house that specifically trained Omegas in the four gentlemanly arts while also teaching them how to live a proper and polite life.  

He had never hated someone so much in his life. 

Of course, they had believed him. Since none of the servants or Qiu Haitang were Omegas, they had no clue how to take care of him, so they sent him on his merry way with a total stranger after collecting a hefty sum of money for their troubles. 

He hadn’t even been surprised when he came upon the “boarding house,” only to realize it was in fact a brothel.  

That wasn’t to say he wasn’t taught. 

No, he was taught. 

Cruelly. 

Chen Qiang was a cruel old man who was not understanding and loathed sloppiness and mistakes. He was not a fair teacher, and he did not teach with patience; his rules were “Either get it right, or sleep in the cellar.” 

He knew that damned cellar on a personal level. 

The men Chen Qiang invited over randomly, and the natural patrons of that brothel were no better. Just as cruel and just as disgusting. Many of them hollered at him when he was still young, telling him to dress appropriately for his job, despite him being a child and a boy. 

There had been many a time when he had to run to the broom closet and hide from them. 

The only light in the darkness of that awful place had been Bai Daiyu, the brothel master's favored concubine and the only person he dared to trust in that awful place. 

Whenever he cried, she wiped his tears. Whenever he ran away, terrified, she would chase away those awful people and track him down to reassure him. When he was punished, she wiped away the blood and patted the bruises, smiling at him with reassuring words and comforting embraces. 

She had been the only good thing he had in years. 

So, of course, as was the cruelty of fate, she had to die. 

She died when the brothel burned down, when he ran back to the brothel after having been sent away. He rode back on the horse he had been sent with and was barely able to stand as he fought with all of his might to get into the burning building and then with all he had left to get her out.  

At fourteen years old, Bai Daiyu died in his arms, handing over her most prized possession that she had specifically crafted for him, leaving him alone in the world, unable to speak and unable to cry out for help.  

He had tried to die again a few days after, once he set loose the horse he had ridden back with, letting the creature decide its own fate as he wandered farther and farther away from the burning hell and into the snowy woods of late winter. 

He had taken his place at the bank of a powerful river and lay in the snow, awaiting death to finally meet him. He couldn’t speak, and he had been in unbearable pain; he saw no point in living, and he wanted nothing more than to be reunited with Bai Daiyu and his brothers. 

Of course, he failed, because he always failed. 

Guang Lieshui: the Peak Lord of Qing Jing. She found him at the bank of that river, the snow beneath him stained with crimson blood that still seeped from his wounds.  

She took him back to Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, where she then learned of his past through his ability to write and that he sustained injuries greater than even he could bear, and he was left unable to speak without irritating his vocal cords and coughing up a mouthful of blood on the spot. 

She had asked him if he wished to keep his identity a secret; if he didn’t want anyone to know of his past, his name, or even his gender domination. Of course, he had said yes, and so, the amulet he was gifted as a final parting gift from Bai Daiyu was used to create a domination suppressant amulet. It was not hard to do, and it was done quickly. His name was changed, and Guang Lieshui swore a vow of silence to him that unless he specifically asked it of her, she would never speak of word of his past, his true name, or even his gender domination. 

When he was taken back to Cang Qiong, he had been first instructed to sit through the unbearable torture it was to have his wounds tended to by the Peak Lord of Qian Cao, and then he was taken to Qing Jing Peak to collect his robes and meet his peak siblings.  

It was there that he saw them.  

It was there that he felt his heart leap from unfamiliar joy, all the while shattering from heartbreaking betrayal. 

His Er-ge was there. The head disciple of Qing Jing, healthy and strong, and with him, his Da-ge; Yue Qi, the head disciple of Qiong Ding Peak. Both tall and powerful in stature, while his Er-ge was lean he held a serene power like that of a willow branch, while his Da-ge was a bit broader and held a power like that of an unmovable mountain. 

He had done his best to not jump to conclusions, but he couldn’t help but feel a new sense of loneliness when his brothers saw him walking with the Peak Lord and had both bounded forward and crushed him in twin hugs that irritated his wounds and made his body ache. 

Guang Lieshui spoke for him, telling them that he had been sick when she found him and as such could not speak. So, they hadn’t questioned his inability. He tried his best to smile at them, but it had been the scents that hit his nose despite the amulet that made him freeze. 

They were both Alphas. 

He had been complacent with Guang Lieshui and the Qian Cao Peak Lord only because they had both been Betas. But his brothers…they were Alphas? 

A new sense of betrayal overcame him, one that was not fair, and one that he hated himself more for, rather than his brothers. 

He hadn’t been given much time to catch up with either of them when Guang Lieshui ordered him to follow her, and he had been a little too relieved to be free from his brothers' sights.  

Things hadn’t gotten better from there.  

He didn’t grow close to his brothers as he wished he could have. He couldn’t speak to them no matter how he tried. When his throat healed enough, he could speak quietly and for a short amount of time, he still was left unable due to the fear that would unnaturally overcome him the second he came close to them. 

Shen Jiu…Shen Qingqiu saw his hesitance and did not push him, if anything taking his reluctance too close to his heart and even started avoiding his baby brother himself. 

It hurt him in ways he was unable to understand. 

His Da-ge, on the other hand, always pushed, always tried. But he never saw him that much, and he found that no matter his Da-ge’s pushing, he was unable to last in a conversation with him, always ending with him falling silent and not saying another word. 

Not to mention, it was clear that his Da-ge and Er-ge were no longer as close as they once were. His Er-ge treated his Da-ge cruelly; he yelled at him and didn’t let him get close. If Yue Qi…Yue Qingyuan tried to talk to him first, but Shen Qingqiu would somehow always show up and get angry at Yue Qingyuan for apparently trying to “turn their brother against him.” 

He had been unable, all but once, to actually speak up and try to stop the fighting. 

However, the second he had spoken, it was enough to catch both his brothers off guard. But he had said the wrong thing, and while it would have hurt less if it came from his Er-ge, his Da-ge said, “I don’t believe it’s of anything for Tianyan to worry about…he doesn’t even bear the name we gave him…” The last part had been muttered, clearly not having meant to be heard, but he had heard it.  

It hurt. 

His name was not “Tianyan.” 

That was the name Guang Lieshui had given him to hide his identity. 

His name was not “Shi.” 

His name was not “Tianyan.” 

His birth-given name, the name his brothers gave him, the name he wished someone would call him by, at the very least to help remind him, was “Yuan.” He was not Shen Shi, he was not Shen Tianyan, he was Shen Yuan.  

But it seemed that even his brothers had forgotten that. 

He had left without even so much as a nod to either of them and none of them spoke to each other for some time after.  

This wasn’t to say that he didn’t try to be cordial with his sect siblings; he even tried to make friends. It was just…he wasn’t good at it. He had never been allowed to as a child, and he didn’t know how to communicate with people outside of speaking, and speaking wasn’t always the best option. 

For some time, he was only seen as a study helper by his Shixiong and Shijie, his Shimei and Shidi didn’t like him as much because he was brothers with Shen Qingqiu, and they feared that they could get in trouble if they got too close to him. 

He was fine with this; however, it would have been better if a lot of people didn’t like him. It would cause too many problems, too many people meant too many people could hurt him, and that meant too many people could find out the truth. 

Eventually, he became closed off, he didn’t remember what happened, or what caused it. But it happened suddenly and without true cause, he didn’t try as much as he should’ve, though he still saw the logic in having some allies, but he didn’t look for friends anymore. 

It was only when he met Liu Qingge that he truly gave up on becoming cordial with any of his sect brothers or sisters. 

He knew just from his brother's random ranting to him that he disliked the head disciple of Bai Zhan Peak, always calling him a barbarian and boneheaded, impulsive fool, but he had always taken it with a grain of salt. His Er-ge just didn’t like people in general. 

However, when he met Liu Qingge himself for the first time, he was captivated wholly. He watched the precision of his movements, the power behind every move and parry of his sword. To say the least, he had been impressed, and only mildly hesitant when he nodded respectfully in greeting the older disciple, despite him obviously being an Alpha.  

He had only muttered his name when Liu Qingge asked for it when he saw the older disciple’s robes open minutely to reveal the left side of his chest. He recognized the mark that was painted on his skin like a natural tattoo immediately, and his stomach sank when he saw it.  

Personally, he never cared for his soulmark; he didn’t care to meet his soulmates. It was already strange enough that he had two, but he couldn’t speak, he didn’t enjoy the company of most people, and he couldn’t even talk to his brothers anymore about these types of things. What need did he have for any more people who would just turn their backs on him? 

Liu Qingge liked him just as much as he favored him. Apparently, his name alone was enough to make the Bai Zhan Peak head disciple sneer and turn away from him, having already made up his mind that he didn’t want to associate with the younger brother of his bitter rival, and said little brother was all that much more grateful for it.  

He didn’t want his soulmates, and it was clear that at least one of them didn’t want him.  

For a moment, when he turned away and left, he remembered a time when he would have cried at Liu Qingge’s cold shoulder, asking him if he had done something wrong, perhaps even apologizing and trying to make amends with the person who shared the mark on his chest. 

But at that moment, not a single fraction of his heart could care.  

As though a desolate land of thorns, he felt nothing. 

He was better off that way. 

He clapped and congratulated his brothers when they both took their positions as Peak Lords, and his Da-ge took the mantle of Sect Leader. Many of his Shixiong and Shijie planned to leave the mountain, traveling around the Jianghu to make a name for themselves and see everything there was to see. 

He planned to leave with them, travel for some years, and perhaps come back if he felt so inclined. 

It hadn’t worked as he had hoped. 

He told his brothers one night when he asked them both to come with him to a small restaurant in the town near the mountain, it was dark out, and it was quiet. For the first time in years, he spoke somewhat confidently, his voice actually reaching past his normal volume, despite how it made his throat a little sore. 

They weren’t close; he talked to his Er-ge when they were near each other, though it was mainly him listening to his Er-ge speak while he either hummed an agreement or disagreement, and he and his Da-ge only spoke during sect meetings where his Er-ge quite literally demanded he attend with him.  

He had honestly expected his brothers to let him go, even encourage him to leave. What use did they have for him anyway? A near-mute brother who held no close relations with either of them or anyone else in the sect? Someone who had caused them nothing but grief since he returned, why would they ask him to stay? 

They hadn’t asked him to stay. They ordered him to stay. 

At first, he thought they were just shooting off from the mouth, and they would change their minds. He had ignored their immediate denial and showed them the qiankun pouch he had already packed with all the things he would need; he reassured them he would be fine and had stood to leave. 

The last thing he’d expected was for both of them to take him by the arms and practically drag him back up the mountain without so much as hearing him out, even when he tried to persuade them. 

It was the first time in years they had fought. 

It was the first time in years that he yelled. 

It was the first time in years he tasted blood in his mouth and felt his throat tear from his old wound. 

It would not be the first nor the last time he turned away from his brothers with a hand over his mouth and ignored his Er-ge as he shouted for him to stay put and listen to them. 

For some time, their relationship never recovered. He stayed on Qing Jing Peak, taking his residence in the very back of the peak in a small cottage that had been abandoned, he took on the responsibility of teaching guqin classes and had even taken the role of Shifu to some of the disciples. 

His brother never commented on this “Shifu,” while he had expected his brother to become offended in some way, Shen Qingqiu seemed to actually encourage it, and it had been the start of their recovery.  

Shen Qingqiu talked; he would listen. He would attempt to speak; Shen Qingqiu would hear him out for a moment until his Didi’s voice faded out. It was a mild existence, not entirely peaceful, but not the constant struggle and fight that it had been.  

That mild existence was interrupted by the young disciple, who was led to kneel before Shen Qingqiu and Shen Tianyan. He wasn’t supposed to be there, but he had been playing the guqin for his brother when Ning Yingying led the young boy to the door upon Shen Qingqiu’s request. 

He had expected it to just be another disciple who would come to join Qing Jing. The boy had a youthful air of hope about him, the sparkle of his obsidian eyes had made him feel a little hopeful for the boy himself. 

That was until his brother crushed both of their expectations with a mere cup of tea.  

His hand had shot out, and it burned, but he didn’t pull back, already worried that half of it had hit the boy’s head. Shen Qingqiu looked positively livid, but had otherwise left without a word with Ming Fan, the head disciple, following behind him.  

That boy had been Luo Binghe, a little white sheep that Shen Yuan loathed to admit he had been unable to comfort at the time, only able to offer a single pat on the shoulder when the boy cried and asked him why his Shizun rejected him so cruelly. 

Shen Tainyan was known as the Shifu of Qing Jing; it was his responsibility to make sure the disciples of the next generation learned well and that he taught them dutifully. It was also his job to make sure that those disciples lived good lives, which had become increasingly harder and harder to do with that Luo Binghe boy. 

Since his brother targeted him directly. 

There had been many of fights, many of shouting matches that ended with the Shifu of Qing Jing covering his mouth with his hand, feigning contempt, and annoyance so he wouldn’t have to explain himself before leaving and another cold shoulder match was held between him and Shen Qingqiu. 

He did all that he could…at least he thought he had. He scared off Ming Fan and those bullies, encouraged Ning Yingying to be kind to that Shidi of hers, and offered Luo Binghe help through a proper manuscript and the room that was connected to the outside of his cottage when his brother ordered him to sleep in the woodshed. 

Of course, there had been times when Ming Fan was sent to drag Luo Binghe back himself, and it resulted in yet another fight, but Shen Tianyan… thought he had done well enough to help where he could. He was not particularly friendly; he and Luo Binghe didn’t speak, but he thought his interference was helpful enough. 

No one enjoyed speaking to him. 

Despite the disciples calling him Shifu, they did not speak to him, they did not come to him out of their free will, and they did not trust him. He knew some of them feared his cold and silent nature even more than they feared Shen Qingqiu’s abrasive and hot-tempered nature.  

So, he had never tried to do something different for Luo Binghe. He thought he was making the right decision, especially when the boy presented as an Alpha, and his soulmark appeared. 

He hadn’t meant to see it. It really had been an accident, but Luo Binghe had come down with a severe fever—almost as bad as the one he had when he presented—and what kind of cruel and hypocritical teacher would he be if he just let the poor young man suffer through that all alone just as he had? 

He had done nothing more than make sure he had food and water and a cold compress on his chest and head, his amulet hiding his true nature, so Luo Binghe only saw him as a Beta and recognized him as his teacher. He stayed even after he saw it. 

On the right side of the mark, there was a book bound in green silk with flowers sprouting from the spine. On the left, there was a sword with a bright silver blade and a light blue tassel with a jade pendant attached to the hilt. In the background, surrounding the two other features, were black flames and a red mark that he did not personally recognize. 

It was unmistakable and undeniable.  

A part of himself felt pity for this disciple. How unfortunate a fate it was to have him as a soulmate. Someone who didn’t want his soulmates, someone who couldn’t feel even a shred of the wonders of emotions one was meant to feel for their soulmate, and someone who was nothing less than a pathological liar. 

He didn’t know if Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe could both get along; he hadn’t heard of two Alphas being soulmates before, but it wasn’t unheard of despite its rarity. When he thought more about it, the idea seemed plausible. Luo Binghe was a bright young man and obviously had the potential for greatness, and Liu Qingge always enjoyed a challenge. 

He and Liu Qingge were on applicable terms, he helped him once in the Lingxi Caves when he had a Qi deviation during the attack from those demons, but that had only been once, and he had suffered a good few blows from the Peak Lord for his trouble among a few other injures after the fact during the actual fight between Cang Qiong and the intruders.  

He was no challenge for Liu Qingge and no match for him in any aspect aside from musical cultivation, whatever gods or fates had decided that he should be linked with not only the War God of Bai Zhan, but the blooming lotus that was Luo Binghe, were cruel, and he would proclaim it as such until his final breath. 

At the very least, he had a mild hope in his heart for the prosperity of both of them. 

Without him.  

After his presentation, Shen Tianyan made sure to distance himself from the closest disciple he had. It would do neither of them any good if Luo Binghe found out, so he acted the same as he did with Liu Qingge. Cold and distant but respectful.  

He would soon regret it after the Immortal Alliance Conference. 

He had been helping the other disciples; he hadn’t found Luo Binghe or the others he had been with yet, but the scene he came upon was heart-wrenching and would forever haunt his nightmares. 

He knew his brother to be cruel, to be unfair, but this? He had never expected this. 

Luo Binghe was already at the edge when he arrived, and he was pushed down even after Shen Tianyan gathered up all his strength and yelled from the pit of his stomach, immediately coughing up blood afterward. 

Shen Qingqiu had turned the second the disciple was out of sight and had reached out for his brother. Reassuring him and telling him that Luo Binghe was a demon, that he was no more, and that he was no longer responsible for such a beast.  

He had slapped the hand away from him and stormed off with the shards of Zheng Yang in his arms without so much as listening to a word of what his brother had said. 

He didn’t want soulmates, he didn’t want people close to him, and he wasn’t good in matters of the heart. 

But even he knew this was wrong. He knew that this was terrible and that it hurt him somewhere in his old and battered heart, even though he could not recognize it, and he knew that Luo Binghe didn’t deserve his fate. 

The next five years were held in silence between him and his brother.  

He didn’t even speak to his Da-ge. 

Seclusion was easier for him, cultivating in private and trying to fix the remains of his broken body to almost no avail. His scars would never leave, his throat would never fully heal, and his meridians would always be a little shattered. There would always be that bit of poison within himself that he had to go to the Lingxi caves to remedy himself without the help of anyone else or the aid of Qian Cao. 

His existence was pitiful and utterly useless, but it was mild.  

He did all that he could, he helped where he could, and he hoped silently that he was a good enough person that the fates could at least look at him indifferently and not with contempt. 

Clearly, he had been wrong, and the fates truly did hate him. 

When Luo Binghe returned, he returned with power and a title to his name. He returned with women of a vast number on his arm, he returned with Huan Hua Palace, and he returned for revenge. 

Shen Tianyan was no saint, he was not free of guilt nor blood on his hands, he could understand someone’s desires for revenge to make sure the perpetrator reaped what they had sewn. 

But this…all of this, had Luo Binghe truly suffered so much? 

Had he utterly failed so badly? 

Chapter Text

He never realized just how he hated the quiet.

He hadn't been in the quiet for years.

Qing Jing was seldom quiet; there were always sounds of disciples practicing their guqin or practicing their sword techniques outside. It was never quiet.

It was quiet now.

None of the disciples dared to speak too loudly, move too brashly, or practice too loudly.

Not with how their Shifu was at the moment.

Shen Tianyan, the younger brother of Shen Qingqiu, their Shifu, had not left the Bamboo House since Shen Qingqiu was taken into the custody of Huan Hua Palace a few months ago. The few times anyone saw him, he looked haggard, with dark eye bags under his eyes and his usually impassive but demure and elegant face blemished by worry and uncountable sleepless nights.

There had been times when the disciples of Qing Jing used to speculate that Shen Tianyan and Shen Qingqiu really hated each other, what with how they used to fight so often, and with their Shifu having gone into seclusion specifically away from everyone and everything for five years after the Immortal Alliance Conference.

But now, now that they all saw a side of their Shifu that they never had before, it was clear that while the brothers fought like wild dogs, their care for each other was without question.

The only disciple that dared to venture near their Shifu was Ming Fan.

"Shifu," He announced himself before, but Shen Tianyan hadn't heard him, not that it surprised the young man. His Shifu hadn't left the Bamboo House in months, never speaking, and never greeting anyone who came by. "Zhangmen-shibo has arrived."

At this, the teacher waved his hand, the only recognition he would give as he loomed over the scrolls he had been reading for the past days. The words blurred together, and he couldn't make sense of a single thing, but he was a stubborn man, and he refused to leave them be until he memorized them.

They were scrolls on Huan Hua Palace's inner corridors, their barriers, and their arrays that left outsiders scrambling and running aimlessly through an endless maze.

Ming Fan left without waiting for the instruction of his Shifu, already knowing the immortal would not give it, even if he stood there staring at him for ten days and nights.

Yue Qingyuan, however, did not politely greet his brother; instead, he grabbed his Didi by the shoulders and forced him away from his scrolls. Shen Tianyan audibly growled at him, slapping away his hands as he grabbed the scrolls and made a break for the sunroom. His legs, however, hadn't been used in days, and they were numb, so he fell before he even made it past the threshold.

"A-Yuan, please." Yue Qingyuan called out for him with a broken voice that snapped Shen Tianyan—no—Shen Yuan out of his daze. Sitting on the ground with his scrolls in hand, he stared up at his Da-ge, the man he hadn't spoken to in years.

It really had been years, and he hardly even recognized his own brother.

Yue Qingyuan looked just as terrible as he did. Dark eye bags under his eyes and sunken cheeks from his own lack of self-care. However, it was his eyes that left Shen Yuan reeling. That adoring light, that strong spirit, and unbreakable nature were gone. There wasn't a thing left of the brother he knew, only a shell of the man he once was.

How could he have let so much time go?

"Da-ge...?" He found that he didn't recognize his own voice. He really hadn't spoken in years. The last time had been at the Immortal Alliance Conference, when his Da-ge rushed over to him to check on him and the blood in his hand.

He had yelled at him to leave.

Yue Qingyuan's expression faltered for a moment, as though he hadn't expected Shen Yuan to answer him, and then it all crumbled, years' worth of sorrow and pain crumbled before his very eyes.

The once proud Sect Leader crumbled to his knees before Shen Yuan, reaching out but not daring to touch, and Shen Yuan found the hesitance utterly painful, so he reached out in turn, and let himself be pulled into unfamiliar arms.

He was surprised by the pain he felt upon realizing they were unfamiliar.

Yue Qingyuan sobbed heart-wrenchingly, holding Shen Yuan close and muttering apology after apology. Shen Yuan found himself confused and reeling, but he could only hug his brother just as tightly; he didn't have the power to speak over him.

"I'm so sorry, Didi...I-I should've told Xiao-Jiu about your scars, that you couldn't speak, about your domination...maybe it would have been different." Shen Yuan shot up at that, out of his brother's arms as he stared at him wide-eyed.

Yue Qingyuan still reached out for him, but Shen Yuan found that he couldn't bring himself to fall back into those arms. When the Sect Leader realized what he had said, his jaw clicked shut, and he looked only mildly regretful until a painful smile spread across his face as he dropped his arms at his side. When Yue Qingyuan looked at him, Shen Yuan didn't see the pitying Sect Leader that he had known for years, but the doting and sympathetic big brother he had thought had been killed when they were still just children.

"I'm sorry...A-Yuan...I should have never let you live alone so long..." He sobbed with his apology, wiping at his face while Shen Yuan could only stare, mouth agape, as he tried to take it all in.

He was surprised, of course, but equally relieved; however, he couldn't help the small twinge of betrayal that sparked in his gut. His Da-ge had known. For how long? How? Why didn't he say anything? "How long..." His voice was raspy from disuse, and Shen Yuan found himself coughing gently to clear it.

Yue Qingyuan smiled sadly and looked down shamefully. They were both seated on the floor, but neither cared to move. "Since you were seventeen...I don't know if you remember your first time entering the Lingxi Caves...But I–. I was so nervous for you...So I ended up following you inside; however, we got lost from each other for some time, and I...I found you in the middle of a Qi deviation..."

As he said this, he looked up through thick lashes at his little brother, almost hopeful that recognition would flash across his Didi's face, but confusion only took root, and he sighed. "I wouldn't expect you to remember it...it was quite terrible and I feared you wouldn't live...Your clothes had been torn, and that amulet of yours had been taken off...I hadn't meant to see it or find out without your permission, but when I tried to take you to Qian Cao, we ran into Guang Lieshui, and she demanded I take you back to Qing Jing, and to never speak of what I found out unless you explicitly told me yourself."

That, Shen Yuan could believe, even though he could not remember a single bit of what his brother said. Guang Lieshui had taken that vow of silence with her into ascension; she told no one about his past or his true nature, and he could believe that she likely threatened Yue Qingyaun within an inch of his life to keep that secret himself, despite him being his eldest brother.

Shen Yuan looked away. After all these years, he thought he had been sneaky, but it seemed that there was an extra person who was let in on his secret. It was three parts relieving and seven parts heartbreaking. "A-Yuan..." Yue Qingyuan called out to him again, this time only reaching out with one hand to cup his cheek. "Did you ever tell anyone about this?"

Truly? He never told anyone his truth, though there had been one other time another person found out on their own accord. Shang Qinghua, his closest and...only friend. The mousy Peak Lord had discovered him one evening when Shen Yuan had been hiding between the borders of Qing Jing and An Ding, away from his Peak siblings. It had been after sword training, and none of his Shijie or Shixiong went easy on him, despite his inability to hardly even hold a sword, and the fact that he had only been a part of the peak for about a year at the time.

He had been severely battered and bruised, but in light of his agreement with Guang Lieshui and his own hesitance upon being alone, he didn't go to Qian Cao to get checked on. At the time, he thought that meditating and cultivating outdoors for some time would be enough to let him go back to the dorms without limping and without his brother seeing him so severely battered, and as a result, start another unnecessary fight.

At the time, he was only about fifteen, so his cultivation level wasn't high, and his amulet was quite bothersome to him. So to give himself a breather, he looked around hesitantly, and upon seeing he was alone, he took off his amulet and concentrated on healing the major bruises and aches.

Of course, he had lost track of time, and midday turned into late evening with the sun setting to the west, and from the brush, almost entirely silent, came the mousy young man, only some years older than him.

When Shen Yuan heard him, he scrambled on aching legs to grab his amulet and tug it on as he shifted and kicked his legs to scurry away. But by the time he was able to get it back on and scramble to his legs and try to take a few steps, it had already been too late, and Shang Qinghua knew everything.

Of course, upon seeing such a violent reaction, the head disciple of An Ding quickly tried to reassure him that he was of no threat, a Beta, and a friend. Shen Yuan, of course, didn't believe him and tried to make a run for it before the older boy could see his face and recognize him. But given his luck, he of course stumbled over a tree root and fell face-first into the dirt, aching and groaning as the An Ding disciple hurried over to help him.

He had threatened the young man within an inch of his life to never speak of what he saw—despite Shen Yuan being in such a pitiful state at the time—Shang Qinghua readily agreed and even offered to take him to Qian Cao if he was scared.

The random kindness was lost to him, and he stuttered through a refusal.

Upon learning that this Xiao-shixiong of his didn't even go to Qian Cao for medical help and only relied on his own cultivation, his amulet, and the word of his Shizun for his health. Shang Qinghua had practically made Shen Yuan his business and helped him as much as he could. Bringing him softer fabrics than that of normal disciples in Qing Jing, passing him special teas that would suppress any effects of his heat, and once they were much older, pills that suppressed it entirely and every other heightened sense, especially his sense of smell; despite the hesitance and reluctance the An Ding Peak Lord had to give them to Shen Yuan; if it was for his friend, he would hand them over regardless.

These random acts of kindness at first fell on blind eyes and deaf ears. Shen Yuan didn't know if Shang Qinghua was attempting to bribe him for something, but after a hissing conversation that ended with Shang Qinghua laughing at his paranoia, he learned that the young man truly just had the best of intentions and truthfully took pity on his poor situation, especially once he learned that both of his brothers were oblivious to it.

Of course, just as any respectable man would, Shen Yuan always made sure to return any favor given. If he were given medicine or teas, he'd go to the towns at the base of the mountain and buy bags of melon seeds and tanghulu. If he were given soft silks and thinner robes that didn't irritate his sensitive and scarred skin, he'd buy something equally as nice. Normally another set of robes that didn't have ink stains on the sleeves, or sometimes he'd steal the stained robes of the An Ding Peak Lord and refurbish them, even adding golden laced patterns at the hems, and if he was treated kindly, given a head pat or two that wasn't as condescending as he had originally thought, and talked with by the An Ding Peak Lord, he would stay late into the night in An Ding, helping Shang Qinghua with the copious amount of paperwork he had, even at times sleeping in the Peak Lord's house with him in the spare room if it was too late to return to Qing Jing without rousing anyone.

"Shang Qinghua..." Shen Yuan answered after a long moment of thinking and only relaxed when he saw Yue Qingyuan smile, no matter how sad it was.

"Good...good..." He sounded unsure, and Shen Yuan wanted to ask him why, but he spoke before he got the chance. "Didi...please go to him now. You're close to him, he will help you, please just go to him."

The begging was unlike his Da-ge, while he was used to the Sect Leader urging him and Shen Qingqiu out of fights, he was not used to hearing such a strong and proud man beg. "Why?" He asked, and the Sect Leader only shook his head.

"This Da-ge of yours...he couldn't bear to tell you, A-Yuan...please, Didi...my brother. Go to Shang Qinghua, do not leave, no matter what rumor you hear, don't leave Cang Qiong, stay where you are safe." As he said this, he grabbed Shen Yuan by the hands and pulled him closer so he could wrap his arms around him and support him to stand.

Shen Yuan hadn't been taking care of himself these past months, and everyone knew it; everyone knew that if they saw him, it was like seeing a half-man-half corpse. He didn't eat; despite not needing to, he didn't sleep; again, he didn't truly need to, but he didn't go outside. He didn't see the sun, didn't smell the fresh air, didn't even as much trudge to the hot springs built within the Bamboo House's walls for a refreshing bath.

Though Shen Yuan struggled regardless, despite his legs only barely being able to support his weight. He struggled and gripped his Da-ge's robes until the Sect Leader used his strength to wrestle Shen Yuan into the guest room that he hadn't even so much as slept in these past months, the bed still perfectly made and smelling of incense, and Yue Qingyuan gritted his teeth at the sight.

He forced the struggling man onto the bed and held his shoulders securely, kneeling before him with a sorrowful expression. "Didi, I ask that you forgive me...I will call for Shang Qinghua myself, but please, don't leave the mountain, stay here."

"Qi-ge..." Shen Yuan murmured, reaching out to grip the front of his brother's ropes again before quickly stuffing his hand back into his lap. "What is happening?"

Yue Qingyuan looked on the verge of a breakdown, but he instead only kissed his Didi's forehead and said, "Forgive me, A-Yuan...we were such terrible brothers to you...I should have been better. Please forgive this insolent and foolish Da-ge of yours. I love you, I will always love you, forgive me for not saying it more. I promise I will make it up to you, if not now, then later. This Da-ge will never leave you again after this."

With nothing left, Yue Qingyuan stood and left the Bamboo House, leaving Shen Yuan reeling as he unfolded the letter he had stolen from his brother's robes only a moment prior.

He was immediately greeted with the smell of old blood, and when he read out each smudged character, his face grew instantly paler.

This was a trap.

This was so obviously a trap.

What was his Da-ge doing!?

Despite his pains, Shen Yuan surged off the bed, rushing on legs weaker than that of a newborn doe, and rushed around the Bamboo House until he was able to find his sword Hui Qu.

It had been discarded carelessly months ago, and it took Shen Yuan an obscene amount of time to find it. Just as he rushed out of the Bamboo House, however, a figure approached him just as quickly.

Shang Qinghua knew that expression on his friend's face and quickly reached out to grab him. he hadn't seen him in months, and Shen Yuan already looked like a man an inch away from death.

"Xiao-shixiong, please let's go–."

"Shang Qinghua." Shen Yuan hissed, immediately making the Peak Lord flinch back from the man who was supposed to be his inferior. Shen Yuan noted the reaction and calmed his expression enough not to scare his friend anymore. "Forgive me, I will be back." He always spoke quietly due to his throat, but Shang Qinghua had only heard a few words of what he had said before a bright flash of light shone in front of his eyes unexpectedly, and Shen Tianyan, the Shifu of Qing Jing, was taking off through the skies after his brother.

"Xiao-shixiong!" Shang Qinghua screeched, himself not keeping his sword on him to chase after him, and he cursed under his breath as he ran to the nearest person to help.

Even if Shen Yuan made it to the battleground, he'd surely collapse the second he got there!

"Liu Qingge!"

Shen Yuan traveled without rest after his brother, following the instructions from that bloodied letter, but his spiritual reserves were nearly spent. He hadn't cultivated once during his seclusion these past months after his brother was taken by Huan Hua Palace, too enraptured with the trial that he only now realized was just a hoax this entire time.

It was just the incentive to give Luo Binghe the time to take his revenge.

However, when he was only a few hundred meters away, he felt what was left of his spiritual energy draining, and was forced to land, running the rest of the way. He only got there in time to feel rather than see the incredible power of Xuan Su that sent him flying back, if not for the footing he found as he skidded across the grounds.

Trees were toppled, the winds whipped with the vigor of a thousand warriors crying out for the battle, and he heard the shrill shriek of arrows pierce through the sky like a plague.

He didn't see it all happen before him, but he heard it.

He heard the arrows hit their marks, he heard the pained shouts and grunts that were too familiar to ignore, and he heard the triumphant shouting and laughter only a moment after everything went quiet.

The winds settled, the arrows silenced, and all fell still.

He was on his stomach at that point, having had no other choice but to get on the ground to avoid being blown away with the uprooted trees. He groaned as he struggled to his feet again, oaks that could have been standing for centuries had fallen, creating the perfect shelter for him to watch as an army of demons marched away with a hazy but familiar figure leading them.

Surely...Surely he hadn't...

He knew what Luo Binghe did to his Er-ge...but his Da-ge? Not him too.

"Please...not him too." Shen Yuan muttered, rushing out of his hiding spot once he was sure he wouldn't be spotted until he reached what was left of the battlegrounds.

One man against ten thousand and one. Ten thousand poisonous arrows, one sword. Who could call that a fair fight? Who could be satisfied with such an underhanded victory? No matter how obvious the trap and how foolhardy the recipient was, how could anyone dare to claim victory in such a callous and unforgivable way?

Shen Yuan held his breath. The battlefield was littered with arrows and destroyed foliage, trees, and plants, all uprooted, with every flower crushed. The smell of poison hung in the air, and Shen Yuan looked around slowly for that one person.

He couldn't find him.

Or at the very least, he couldn't find all of him.

When he saw the strip of clothing that clung to the shattered and decaying bone, Shen Yuan felt his heart sink. Surely...Surely it couldn't be. He had to be seeing things. He looked around more, harder, but he kept stumbling back upon that single decaying bone and shred of familiar cloth, and his anxiety only continued to spike.

He didn't believe it until he found the grey and dark blue sword tassel, barely clinging onto the feather of an arrow. It was stained at the end with caked blood, and Shen Yuan felt his heart shatter in his chest.

His Da-ge...

He didn't even have the chance to say goodbye.

He wasn't even given the chance to tell him he loved him too. That he never blamed them. That he was sorry for everything. That he...

He...

A cry louder than the howling winds of the north and more mournful than spirits in the river of the dead screamed out into the red sky. Blood dripped on the battlefield, but the cries only continued, howls of agony and horror. The beasts of what remained of the forest howled with him, crying out in their shared grief as he beat his fists against the ground, clutching the stained tassel as he sobbed.

He didn't remember feeling something so terrible as this. He couldn't remember the last time he felt emotions this intense. When had been the last time he cried like this? When had he last screamed like this?

Blood dripped past his lips, and his throat was bloody and shredded inside, but he couldn't care. Not even as he coughed up mouthful after mouthful of blood, not even when it dripped onto his clothes, not even when he attached that stained tassel to the hilt of his sword, ripping off the one he had to make room.

Pearl-like tears fell down pale cheeks, running down his chin and staining his robes right next to the crimson blood. His expression was a show of his grief that his words could not say, with a quiet and hoarse prayer, Shen Yuan unsheathed Hui Qu and shot into the air at alarming speeds for his condition.

He didn't even bother to enter Huan Hua Palace discreetly, nor did he bother to try and explain himself when disciples wearing gold and white rushed at him, wielding their swords and immediately drawing themselves as enemies. There was only a brief flash of light with every movement, and every disciple that charged at him was cut down until he finally grabbed the only one that had not rushed at him immediately.

The young man was held by his throat, choking, when sharp nails dug into his flesh. "Give me your name." Shen Yuan ordered, despite blood continuously dripping past his lips.

He needed to stop talking and let his throat heal, but he couldn't care.

"Gongyi Xiao..." The young man choked out, and Shen Yuan hummed sharply as he threw the young man ahead of him, pointing the tip of his blade further into the catacombs.

"Lead me to Shen Qingqiu."

The young man seemed hesitant, but upon looking deeper into the dull jade eyes of the Daozhang, he said nothing and merely led the way. When they reached the wall, Shen Yuan watched with rapt attention as Gongyi Xiao opened the passage, the deadly waterfall that Shen Yuan knew to be composed of acidic water parted, and a bridge made of stone rose.

"You need to leave." Shen Yuan ordered, and when the young man seemed as though he was about to protest, Shen Yuan raised the tip of his sword to poke at the disciple's chest. "You have a life to live, don't waste it. If Luo Binghe learns that you helped me, no matter the circumstances, he will kill you. Please, for the sake of your livelihood, leave."

Gongyi Xiao was taken aback by this cultivator. Not only did he break into Huan Hua Palace with almost no effort, but he cut down every disciple that stood in his way, only sparing Gongyi Xiao for his hesitance, and then taking that mercy a step further to warn him of his impending death if he did not take his own life into his hands.

"Daozhang...may this one know your name?"

Shen Yuan eyed him suspiciously, but otherwise waved him away. "My name does not matter, I have had many, but none match me anymore. Gongyi Xiao should leave. I'd rather see no one else die today."

Nodding hesitantly, Gongyi Xiao followed orders and left. Shen Yuan made sure he was good and gone before entering the Water Prison. A body with every limb torn from its body, hung by the waist with chains, and hung at the very end of the stone platform. This body was bloody and nearly unrecognizable, and Shen Yuan found himself second-guessing trusting that disciple's directions...surely...surely this couldn't be his brother? Surely this deformed and mangled corpse could not be his brother.

Then that corpse made a terrible rasping sound, and Shen Yuan realized that its tongue had been torn from its mouth, along with its left eye. For a moment, that bloody face was unrecognizable, matted and greasy hair covered the majority of it, and Shen Yuan could only walk forward hesitantly.

Then, he caught that breathing corpse's right eye. Pheonix eyes that were an emerald color only a shade darker than his own, and he immediately knew who he was staring at. "Gege..." Shen Yuan found himself murmuring.

He hesitated not another moment as he rushed forward and unsheathed his sword. He cut down only one chain when that living corpse cried out in horse pain, and he stilled immediately. He knelt before the limp and hanging body, unaware that he was already crying as he reached out and tried to feed whatever spiritual energy he had left into the body, hoping to cease whatever pain he had caused.

Only to find that there was no golden core to feed that energy into, and what was left of his brother's spiritual reserves had been shattered. A choked sound came from one of them, there was no clue telling who, as blood spilled past Shen Yuan's lips, and that breathing corpse made a low and upsetting noise.

"Er-ge...Gege..." Shen Yuan cried, truly and pitifully cried. He didn't know what to do; he had tried everything he knew to help, but how could he save his brother like this? How was he supposed to get him out of there without being caught or without hurting Shen Qingiqu more? "I don't know...I-I really don't know...I-I can't do this without you..."

He lowered his head in shame. How could he cry like this? A grown man, coughing up blood from an injury that not even he, an immortal, could heal because of his weak constitution, crying like a child. How shameful he truly was, how pitiful and weak, he couldn't save his Da-ge, and now he was to fail his Er-ge.

When he looked over at the side of the stone platform, Shen Yuan saw the gleam of the shards of Xuan Su...How cruel...Luo Binghe, was it not enough to kill him, but you had to bring back his shattered sword as well?

A soft sound came from that mangled body, and Shen Yuan found himself looking up to meet a mournful and sad gaze. He didn't know what to say, but when that single eye fell on his sword and looked down as best as it could at the already bloody chest of what remained of Shen Qingqiu, Shen Yuan felt his blood freeze, and a choked sound left his throat.

"Gege...No, I-I-..." He started coughing, his throat finally making its discomfort and discontent too apparent to ignore, and he whimpered from the pain. Shen Qingqiu made another urging sound, and Shen Yuan found himself looking up at his brother through teary lashes, truly waiting for a sign that his brother had changed his mind. But when he saw no hesitance in that gaze, he relented.

How cruel would he be to make his brother live in such a way, regardless?

Unsheathing Hui Qu, Shen Yuan took a few steps back and aimed directly at his brother's heart. He would make this quick and painless, but as he gripped his hilt, he felt his arm shake, and he couldn't bear to look his brother in the eye any longer.

"Gege..." Shen Yuan cried out a final time, sobbing brokenly as he said, "I didn't mean to lie to you...or Da-ge...I-I just...I was scared for too long, I-I...F-Forgive this stupid, Didi...Er-ge, I really love you." He didn't listen for a response he knew wouldn't come, so drowning out his own pain with a sharp tune from his battered and bloody throat, his blade shone with an iridescent and holy light as he brought it down in a swift motion.

It pierced his brother's heart straight through, the sound was disgusting, and he couldn't bring himself to look up as he withdrew his blade. He didn't, however, need to see it to know that his brother was dead; the sound of chains stretching to their limit as the body they held fell entirely limp was more than enough.

For a moment, he considered a terrible idea, something he knew would make both of his brothers writhe in horror and agony if their spirits could see him now, but just for a moment...a terrible and painful moment, he slowly brought up his blade to his own throat, right where an old wound that would never heal already rested.

Why not finish the job that should have been completed nearly twenty years ago?

Just as he had this terrible thought, a sharp pain bloomed from his side, and he turned with a severe expression to see who had hit him. However, his vision immediately went hazy, and the quick movement was a terrible idea. He coughed up another mouthful of blood as he fell to his knees, and wheezed from the pain that overcame his entire body.

For a moment, he couldn't help the morbid hope that whatever hit him was laced with a deadly poison and that the pain he was feeling was truly just death finally coming to collect its dues.

With such a thought in mind, he didn't even fight as he felt himself succumbing to the darkness, letting his body fall limp and hit the stone platform without a single moment of fear. If this really was death, let it come to him, just as it should have all those years ago.

He heard someone speak, it sounded like a shout, a voice that was angry and full of hostility. Distantly, he knew that he recognized that voice, but he felt no urge to hang on to listen closer to truly tell who it was; in the end, the darkness was far more comforting.

However, it felt like he had only been in that darkness for a short time when he started hearing noise again, it was grating and annoying, he wanted to raise his hand and send a wave of spiritual energy out to throw the perpetrators away from his lonesome cottage.

Why were they even near his cottage anyway? No one came out here but him! Shen Qingqiu and...another person had been the only ones to dare make the trip into the furthest depths of Qing Jing's bamboo forest.

So just who were these damn hooligans anyway!?

Then he remembered something, stuck in this darkness, he wasn't in his cottage, was he? He also wasn't in the Bamboo House; he couldn't smell his brother's scent mark anywhere...and he couldn't move, his wrists ached, and his body felt unfamiliarly heavy.

His eyes felt like iron to open, and he struggled for a moment as the voices he heard grew fewer, but one in particular grew louder. How long had it been? Where was he!?

He struggled harder then, he still couldn't recognize who was coming closer, it sounded like they were right outside a door. But when he was finally able to open his eyes, the man that stood before him made his blood freeze and his legs ache to stand.

It was only then that he realized he was on a bed. It wasn't a shabby room by any means, silk sheets beneath him, and looking around, he could see the expensive tastes of Huan Hua Palace in the room. However, he could not appreciate this as he realized his legs and arms were bound. He was free enough to bend and unbend his knees and move his arms minutely, but otherwise, he was completely immobile.

In immortal binding cables.

He already knew that in comparison to both of his soulmates—no matter how reluctant he was to call either of them that—he was no match for either of their martial abilities. But without his spiritual powers? He was as good as a leaf fighting against a hurricane.

"Shifu looks as though he's seen a ghost. Does this disciple scare him that much?" Luo Binghe's tone was rather mocking, and Shen Yuan found that it irritated him gravely. That damn smirk on his face...he wanted to smack it off, but he didn't dare show his desire, instead looking away from the man without a word.

After a while, Luo Binghe seemed to grow tired of the silence and clicked his tongue, taking only a few steps closer when he saw Shen Yuan flinch away, almost trying to push himself further to the wall the bed was pressed up against.

The reaction made Luo Binghe stop, but it was also one that made him sneer. "Ah...Shifu has always looked at me like that, huh? So full of fear and contempt, was this disciple truly so horrible?"

Shen Yuan didn't answer him again, preferring to ignore him and his mind games, but Luo Binghe wasn't one to be ignored. Despite himself, he shouted in fear when a hand gripped his chin, pulling him out of his corner and forcing him to arch his back to look up at the half-breed.

Finally, Shen Yuan got the answer to his question of what that strange red mark on his soulmark meant.

It was a replica of the demon sigil that practically glowed between Luo Binghe's brows.

Luo Binghe scowled at the disdainful and impassive expression of his Shifu, growling softly when the man tried to pull away from him. "Is my blood truly so disgusting to Shifu? That he can't even speak to me?" For a moment, Luo Binghe swore he saw something entirely different than his Shifu's natural, impassive, and disdainful expression. It was the one he and every other disciple of Qing Jing were used to, but for a brief moment, only a second, truly, he swore he saw something akin to...genuine horror in his Shifu's eyes. "He used to speak to me...even though it wasn't often, and he spoke quietly, Shifu still spoke to me. Can't he do the same now?"

Shen Yuan seemed to finally lose his composure because, in a swift motion a little too quick for both of them, he yanked his jaw free and bit down on the hand that held it. Despite what the intended purpose had been, Luo Binghe didn't flinch back, and after the brief initial shock was over, he practically pushed his hand into his Shifu's mouth, the teacher gagging when a thick metallic taste hit his tongue.

"If Shifu wanted to be thorough about things, all he had to do was ask." Luo Binghe teased rather cruelly, all but shoving Shen Yuan's back to hit the mattress so he couldn't escape from the blood that poured into his mouth.

After a few minutes of struggling and choking, Luo Binghe finally pulled his hand away, and Shen Yuan found himself able to breathe again. Coughing and sputtering as he tried to cough up the blood that still slid down his throat. There was a sick feeling pooling in his gut, like a thousand bugs were crawling inside him, but he didn't focus on the feeling; rather, he tried to cough up the blood.

Luo Binghe reached out and tugged him to sit up, forcing his head up so he could swallow it all properly. "Don't try to cough it up, Shifu. A heavenly demon's blood might be dirty, but it won't kill you necessarily."

Shen Yuan sneered at him, his teeth aching to bite the hand that was too close to his neck for comfort, but having learned his lesson, he didn't dare. After all of that, Shen Yuan still refused to speak to him, and Luo Binghe felt his patience running dangerously thin.

So, before he could make a mistake too grave to take back, Luo Binghe pushed himself away from the bound teacher and slowly walked to the door, each step deliberate in making his Shifu's anxiety worse until he would be forced to speak to him for the first time in five years.

"It doesn't matter, I suppose, since it's clear that Shifu's attention is, as always, focused solely on Cang Qiong and your other disciples; they won't be much of a problem anymore for much longer."

This successfully caught Shen Yuan's attention, and with all of his might, he pushed himself up to stare at Luo Binghe. "What do you mean?"

A bitter feeling churned in his heart. Of course, his Shifu only spoke when the safety of others was on the line, but never just for Luo Binghe alone. Turning his head over his shoulder, Luo Binghe smiled far too smugly as he said, "Only that Cang Qiong will soon be...dealt with accordingly. Shifu will have no need to concern himself with something that will not exist for much longer."

Shen Yuan immediately understood what that meant and paled. "Luo Binghe...you...You can't!"

"Can't?" Luo Binghe laughed cruelly, a shadow traveling across the room in less than a second as a hand enclosed around Shen Yuan's neck, and the teacher had to pierce his tongue with his canines to keep from crying at how painful it felt. "Who says I can't? Shifu, tell me, did you ever care when Shen Qingqiu beat me? When he sent those damned Shixiong of mine to do his dirty work? Cang Qiong excused the abuse of a child because of their loyalty to a bastard sect brother! Tell me, Shifu, why can't I?"

Shen Yuan truly couldn't breathe, whether it be because of Luo Binghe's grip on his airways or the pain from the injury that would never heal on his throat that Luo Binghe gripped so cruelly.

When he didn't answer, Luo Binghe took his silence as defiance and tightened his grip until Shen Yuan's bound hands flew up and gripped at his wrist, long nails scratching and clawing at his skin with little to no effect.

After a long moment of this stalemate, Luo Binghe growled and shouted, "Is Shifu really as cruel as that bastard Shen Qingqiu!? He came all this way to rescue him, didn't he!? Your brother is dead! What more do you have to fight me for!?"

Shen Yuan's vision was going blurry and for a moment, he truly thought this would be the last vision he saw, Luo Binghe's furious expression while one part of his heart cried out for vengeance and the other begged his rational senses to do something, speak, fight, cry, comfort him, anything. He knew deep down that he had failed as a Shifu; he excused his brother's behavior despite not liking it and even trying to stand up to it on occasion.

But it didn't make it any better; he should've done more, and he should've stopped the abuse completely. Luo Binghe had been a child barely even a decade younger than him; he needed someone to protect him, and he had foolishly trusted Shen Yuan with that responsibility, and Shen Yuan failed him.

He let his brother get away with it all because, despite the resentment he might have held for him, there was still a broken and terrified boy inside him who cried out for his big brothers at night. That stupid little boy inside always seemed to interfere with his rational sense. What was the point in having a heart when all it did was make things worse?

Why couldn't that little boy have died in the snow all those years ago?

Why did Guang Lieshui have to save him?

Why couldn't he have just died in peace?

It was only when Luo Binghe saw the blue tint of his lips and the glaze overcoming his Shifu's eyes that he finally realized that he wasn't just sending a painful head rush from the lack of blood flow, but he was cutting off his airways entirely. When he let go, Shen Yuan fell nearly unconscious onto the bed, unable to gasp for breath through the clots of blood that had gotten caught in his throat.

"Shifu! Shen Tianyan!" Luo Binghe shouted at him, grabbing him by the shoulder to sit him up, but his Shifu still barely gasped in the tiniest breaths. "Breathe!" When his order was not obeyed, Luo Binghe immediately sent out his blood parasites to find out what was wrong.

He found many things, many that made his blood boil, some that made it freeze, and finally, the cause of his Shifu's inability to regain the air he needed. The wound on his throat was constantly covered by a thick silk collar. Underneath that collar were bandages that caught any blood that occasionally seeped from the wound whenever he spoke. Shen Yuan was in a state of unconsciousness when Luo Binghe's blood parasites finally eradicated the blood clots that had suffocated his Shifu. For a long moment, he could only stare at the dazed man he held in his hands, and a sick feeling overcame him at the sight.

Blood parasites were able to find out many things about a person, including their domination, no matter how they hid it. Luo Binghe sensed his Shifu's true nature, and it felt like a part of his world came crumbling down around him. When he was young,er he used to wonder why a male Beta looked so elegant and dainty.

His Shifu's hands were small, even smaller than his by the time he turned seventeen, and he always had such a demure expression that when Luo Binghe was younger, he compared his Shifu's eyes to jade and his skin to freshly fallen snow, his lips to that of haitang blossoms, and his hair to that of an inky black waterfall.

When he grew older, he wrote off these features as a good fortune from his Shifu's genetic material pool. It made sense, his brothers were Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu, and no matter how Luo Binghe loathed to admit it, especially back then, the two men were unbearably handsome and regal in appearance.

But now...now that he could sense the truth, he felt a little bitter.

Along with furious.

The wound on his Shifu's throat was only one. One of many, Luo Binghe could sense the others on his back and even a few on his legs and ankles. A part of him wanted to tear off the clothes that hid those scars and never-healing wounds and see them for himself. See the lies and secrets his Shifu kept from him for so long.

When he lived in that little house attached to the outside of his Shifu's cottage, there were many a night when his Shifu refused to sleep and would stay up reading, practicing his calligraphy, the guqin, or painting. Luo Binghe would sometimes stay up with him and read whatever scrolls or books he was assigned, and watch his Shifu from the corner of his eye.

There was no hidden truth in the fact that Luo Binghe was Shen Tianyan's only personal disciple and the closest person to him in Qing Jing, even in comparison to Shen Qingqiu. At the time, Luo Binghe believed that the satisfaction he got from such a fact stemmed from his innate need to prove that he was better than his cruel Shizun, but now...now that he knew the truth.

He didn't know anymore.

He hated Shen Tianyan. He was a coward and a constant bystander to his abuse while simultaneously being one of the only people in Qing Jing to treat him with respect. A two-faced bastard, that was the right term. There were times when Luo Binghe really couldn't tell if his Shifu cared for him or if he hated him.

Luo Binghe could remember many a night when Shen Tianyan would come back to the cottage late into the night, coughing weakly and covering his mouth with his hand. Sometimes Luo Binghe would catch the red stain on his Shifu's hand, but he always wrote it off and never questioned the other disciples' behaviors or idle gossip toward their Shifu and Shizun.

Now...Now he wished he had listened to that gossip. Perhaps they knew what was said between his terrible Shizun and his impassive Shifu that made his Shifu return home with a bloody mouth and weak stature.

Luo Binghe felt his anger boil low in his stomach, just staring at the limp body of Shen Tianyan filled him with rage.

But he didn't want to torture him the same way he had tortured his brother.

No, that would just be lazy.

No, Shen Qingqiu had been a vain and proud man who thought himself invincible; Luo Binghe took great pleasure in breaking him to his very core by taking away everything he ever cared about.

But Shen Tianyan...his Shifu.

He cared not for himself; if not for the dining hall in Qing Jing, the man truly would never have eaten.

He cared very little for others; the only person that Luo Binghe saw Shen Tianyan get close to was that Shang-shishu of his, but Mobei-Jun was already taking care of his little spy, so that was out of the question.

His Shifu was impassive, always bearing an expression of indifference to everything. Never showing the slightest bit of emotion even during to most dire of situations.

The only thing that his Shifu seemed to care about was Cang Qiong.

Simple, it was already in motion. It was only a pity that he wouldn't get to personally watch Shen Tianyan's descent into madness at having lost everything he cared about.

Luo Binghe left without another word, and it took Shen Yuan a little longer to regain his composure. When he finally regained his higher plane of thinking, he realized the meaning of everything Luo Binghe had said.

Cang Qiong...

It wouldn't survive, no one would survive.

Struggling to sit up, Shen Yuan ended up rolling off the bed and looking around for something to cut the immortal binding cables with, but he couldn't find a single spiritual weapon, not even his sword, and he groaned in frustration.

After a while of numbly staring up at the ceiling, Shen Yuan hissed through his teeth and made a terrible decision.

He started ramming himself into the locked doors of the room he was trapped in, repeatedly, until his shoulder began to ache, in which he switched sides until he heard footsteps come closer to the door.

He hid behind the door, the sound of it unlocking practically making his heart skip a beat, as two Huan Hua Palace disciples entered the room and looked around for him.

It was there that one was knocked unconscious from being body slammed, and the other was dealt with once he used the first disciple's sword to cut his bindings. Shen Yuan took one of their swords and hurried out of the room, down the hallways until he had to duck into a room when he heard too many of them coming.

However, it seemed this room would be important to him as well, seeing as his sword and a single bloodied jade tassel were laid across a long table. Shen Yuan felt a little sick upon seeing the jade tassel, knowing exactly who it used to belong to, but when he saw it next to the stained tassel of his Da-ge, he thought it fitting.

So, before more disciples could realize he escaped, he attached the jade tassel and tied Hui Qu to his waist as he unsheathed his blade, bounding out of the room as if he had been instilled with vigor; everyone who got in his way met the same fate to his blade.

He would not let anyone stop him.

"Shifu!" The voice that called out to him was tender and sweet, he recognized it immediately and turned slowly to face the two young women who were bounding after him, neither bearing a sword, so he sheathed his. "Shifu! Please don't go!"

Ning Yingying threw herself at him, clutching onto his robes and sobbing, begging and pleading for him to stay. Liu Mingyan stared at him with a complex expression, between grief and concern, Shen Yuan couldn't tell which one to associate her expression with.

When Ning Yingying's sobbing brought her to her knees, Shen Yuan fell with her and hugged the girl as she cried. "This Shifu...trusts in Yingying to take care of herself; she doesn't have any need for me anymore." His throat was still battered, so saying this alone brought up a fit of bloody coughing, and Ning Yingying cried harder at the sight.

"Shifu! Please stay here with us! You'll be safe! We'll beg A-Luo to let you stay! He won't deny us both! Please, Shifu!" Ning Yingying begged and pleaded with him, even though she did not know the truth, even though she did not know what worse a fate it would be for Shen Yuan to stay.

For a moment, he felt a little betrayed on behalf of Cang Qiong at their mutiny, but at the same time, he hoped for nothing but the best for both of them. So, he said only one thing about how he felt. "Yingying, Liu Mingyan, I pray you both prosperity in your marriage and your life. This Shifu of yours has lived his, and I am merely making sure that those who can will be given the same opportunity."

Ning Yingying only continued to sob. Liu Mingyan saw the resolution in the teacher's eyes, so she took the mantle of comforting the distraught woman from the man and looked up at him as he stood and prepared to take his leave. "Shen Tianyan..."

When she called to him, he had wiped the blood from his mouth, leaving a terrible stain across his sleeve and his face, and it only made her stomach ache. "My brother..."

Shen Yuan faltered but otherwise nodded. "Everything I can do, I will, if it means trading mine for his." Saying nothing else, he left.

When he made it out of Huan Hua Palace, he was already depleted of almost all of his spiritual energy. He was tired and everything bore a dull ache that wouldn't go away, but as he drew closer and closer to Cang Qiong, the ache he felt was nothing in comparison.

It was burning.

Cang Qiong was burning to the ground.

When he reached the base of the mountain, a horde of demons stood at the gates, rallying and fighting with the disciples of Cang Qiong, each disciple falling eventually if one demon could not do the job alone.

So, with a powerful wave of spiritual energy, Shen Yuan dropped from his sword and sent the demons flying. "Everyone! Evacuate immediately! Cang Qiong will not fall as long as we have our people still standing! Go to Zhao Hua Monastery and Tian Yi Temple and ask for help!" At his command, the disciples who remained all flooded out of the area.

With a tense expression, Shen Yuan bounded up the mountain and joined the fray.

Bodies of disciples were scattered everywhere. For every three demons Shen Yuan cut down, six more would appear without hesitation. The disciples he helped were either sent away to make it to one of the other two great sects to get help, or they fell into the hands of the demon invaders before Shen Yaun could get to them.

He had never seen so much bloodshed before in his life.

Eventually, the cultivators of his generation joined the fray, and just like the disciples, he watched almost all of them fall by the hands of the invaders.

He even watched the Peak Lords fall.

It had been Mu Qingfang first, Qian Cao was already the healers' peak, the disciples and even the Peak Lord rarely ever carried weapons on their person. He could already tell when he got there that it had not been a fair fight. So, with the strength he had, he grabbed the corpse of Mu Qingfang and brought him to the ancestral hall of Qiong Ding, where Peak Lords were meant to be laid to rest if they died before their generation ascended.

One by one, he took each fallen Peak Lord there before joining the fray again. Qiong Ding had not yet been seized like the other peaks, the rest of the disciples and the cultivators of his generation fighting vigilantly to keep the invaders from marching to the top of the peak.

Shen Yuan didn't know if they knew of the fate of Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu yet, but he could only pray that at the very least the disciples didn't think that their Sect Leader and the Qing Jing Peak Lord abandoned them.

However, it had only been when a tear through the air sounded behind him that the fighting around him finally seemed to quiet.

Shang Qinghua, his closest and only friend, had walked through the portal that closed immediately behind him. Staring down at the ground with a hand clutching his abdomen, ice was forming across his entire right side, and Shen Yuan could see where spikes of ice were sticking out of his back.

"Qinghua..." His voice seemed to be the calling card for the An Ding Peak Lord, because the second he looked up, he started laughing and crying all in the same breath.

Just as he was about to fall to his knees, Shen Yuan surged forward and raised his hand into the air, creating a barrier of pure white light around them, catching the falling Peak Lord in his free arm.

"Ah ha...Tianyan, I–. I'm sorry, I didn't...I didn't mean for all of this." Shang Qinghua coughed, gripping Shen Yuan's robes as he leaned against his friend. "I...I really didn't mean for this..."

"Save your strength." Shen Yuan ordered, confused and terrified as he kneeled on the ground. His spiritual energy was weak already, there was almost nothing he could do, and he knew it. "You'll be okay, whatever you apologize for now is forgiven...Everything will be alright, I'm here for you."

Shang Qinghua laughed weakly at his statement, shaking his head. "Y-You're talkative...today...Tianyan, we both know that spies...can't ever be kept alive."

Shen Yuan froze at the statement, staring down at the man in his arms as Shang Qinghua's pained smile fell. "What...Qinghua, what are you...?"

"I'm sorry...old friend, we never had enough time..." Shang Qinghua breathed, and Shen Yuan felt that body fall completely limp in his arms.

A terrible numbness overcame him and he could only lower his barrier as he grabbed the Peak Lord and flew to Qiong Ding, even when he placed the slowly chilling body of his friend on the altar meant for the An Ding Peak Lord, he realized that even though he knew he should, he couldn't feel a thing, he couldn't cry, and he wasn't even fazed as he turned away and returned to the battle.

Shang Qinghua was his only friend, traitor or not, why could his heart not cry out for him as it had his brothers? Even though that grief was long since there, having been formed and bottled up since he was a child and had believed his brothers perished long before he could have gotten to them. Even when he realized they were alive, that grief never went away, and it seemed that it had been the fuel to his outburst.

But now...even with the death he had seen, the bodies he carried, and the blood that stained his robes, he couldn't feel a thing.

Why?

Why was he like this?

The disciples that guarded the entrance to Qiong Ding were slowly falling, one after another, and Shen Yuan found that he could no longer bear the sight of these young cultivators—these children—fighting a fruitless and impossible battle.

From the ground beneath them, vines shot out through the ground and created a wall around the disciples that were left, they all turned to look past the broken gates at the man who stood alone, walking toward them with an impassive expression.

"Leave." For a moment, they all hesitated; many of them didn't know who this man was, but once they caught sight of that dull yet harsh glare, they obeyed without question and made their escape.

The vines he had summoned would only hold off the militia for so long. Shen Yuan realized numbly that he didn't quite mind the idea of this unfair fight, that the idea of his undeniable defeat didn't bother him.

Each vine was cut down, and demons of different origins and sizes crawled through the openings until the larger ones were able to break through them completely, the tip of his blade was raised and once again, he greeted the looming plague of death like an old friend.

Only for that plague to be driven back into the shadows from a brilliant display of martial prowess when a god of war cut down every demon before they could even so much as pass the threshold.

"Where have you been!?" Liu Qingge shouted as he cut down the last demon, there would undoubtedly be more, but he had earned them some time, and he chose to use it for questioning.

Shen Yuan stared impassively, unable to determine if the emotion welling in his chest was relief or annoyance. However, when he didn't answer, Liu Qingge growled under his breath and turned away. "What else did I expect...?"

The underhanded comment didn't fall on deaf ears, but Shen Yuan chose to ignore it as he stepped closer to the War God of Bai Zhan. "We can't win this...we should try to make sure every disciple who can, escapes, and we should do the same."

Liu Qingge whipped around to stare at him, wide-eyed and flabbergasted. In the nearly two decades he had known Shen Tianyan, he'd never spoken so much. It was slightly unnerving, though Liu Qingge was unable to determine if that sickening feeling was from hearing the man use so much of his voice, or if it was the blood that stained his clothes and face.

However, his shock melted into outrage. "You want to flee and abandon Cang Qiong!?" Shen Yuan pursed his lips and shook his head, but Liu Qingge wasn't willing to hear him out, so he couldn't explain the rest. "No better than a traitor...It doesn't matter anyhow, there's another wave of those beasts coming, they're being led by that Luo Binghe, no one could escape now, regardless."

"You don't know that..." Shen Yuan murmured, but Liu Qingge pointedly ignored him.

Regardless of the man at his side, Shen Yuan set to work clearly out the rest of the disciples. Luo Binghe had the full power of his army, they would descend upon them so soon, so they had no time to act carelessly.

While he set to work herding the rest of the disciples out of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, Liu Qingge set to work bringing down every opponent in his sight, unconsciously staying close to where Shen Yuan led and ordered disciples to leave in case a demon was to show up out of nowhere and catch the man off guard.

His tongue felt like lead in his mouth as he watched from the sidelines as Shen Yuan spoke quietly to the disciples, giving them instructions and guiding them just as a teacher should. Nearly twenty years, and he had never been spoken to by Shen Tianyan so much, it was true that in the first years of knowing him, Liu Qingge had judged him first for the blood in his veins rather than getting to know his character, but this never seemed to be a problem, seeing as Shen Tianyan never tried to prove him wrong or come to him.

When he spoke to him, it was clearly forced and unwanted. So, he never pushed for conversations that neither of them wanted. For some time, Liu Qingge genuinely wondered if the silent man was actually mute and if the few times he spoke were just his mind playing tricks on him.

But now, he heard his voice, he saw him speaking so much. Of course, he was a little confused as to why so much blood stained the skin around his mouth and down his chin, but he also had no clue when Shen Tianyan joined this fight, he could have been fighting for even longer than Liu Qingge.

Who had been off the mountain in search of...someone, upon Shang Qinghua's frantic request.

He himself was beginning to feel the effects of rushing back to Cang Qiong so quickly, only to find demons invading his peak, his disciples fighting bravely and with all of their might. But they were only disciples; he was also feeling the effects of fighting for so long, his muscles burned, and his spiritual energy would only last him for so long. However, he did not plan to take the coward's way out and retreat; he'd rather die on this mountain than admit defeat, especially at the likes of demons like Luo Binghe.

He was unaware of just how deep in thought he had been when a sword flew past his face and pierced the demon in the chest that had been about to sneak up on him. "Ambush!" The shout reawakened his instincts and reflexes, and he sprang into action with a shout.

An entire horde of demons had snuck up on them, Shen Tianyan was already taking on two, while he took on six. He cut down each one that attacked him, watching adamantly as a glow emitted from Shen Tianyan's hand and vines suddenly protruded from the ground, piercing both demons through a few times until their bodies stopped writhing.

Since when had he been able to do that!?

"Liu Qingge!" He hadn't the time to turn around before a heavy blow landed in the middle of his spine from a sharp point. A demon with the tail of a scorpion had risen from the ground and pierced him. he fell limp immediately and cursed aloud when he realized his entire right side had been completely paralyzed.

Left with only his left side, he was unable to fend off the rest for long before he was thrown through the air and landed harshly on his spine, a sick crack echoing in his ears as he realized at the very moment he truly couldn't move. Another sharp spike stabbed him, this time in the right shoulder, and he was suddenly brought up to kneel. Chen Luan lay uselessly a few feet away from him, and he couldn't summon his spiritual energy no matter how hard he tried, so he couldn't even wield his blade telepathically.

However, his focus was soon taken away when he heard an angry shout, another that was pained, and then a choked cry. A few meters away, another demon—this one larger than the last and obviously hailing from the northern border if his clothes and appearance had anything to say about it—had appeared with two others. Those other two had suffered a blow each from Shen Yuan, who had been trying to get to Liu Qingge and aid him, only to be grabbed by his right arm and roughly thrust to the ground as his arm was pulled back and bent at an unnatural angle, breaking it.

Shen Yuan was forced to his knees, hair finally falling from what was left of the terrible braid he had done himself all those days ago, and with his broken arm, was led to arch his back to look up at the northern demon whose cold hand reached out and cupped his exposed neck.

He was prepared to feel claws dig into his unhealing wound, perhaps even for his neck to snap; however, the demon merely tore off the silk collar and inner bandages that hid the wound.

Just as he called it, unhealing, there was dried blood all around it, scabbed over and reopened an innumerable amount of times, and the skin around it was scarred an ugly raised texture and pink in color.

When his silk wrappings had been ripped away, as was his amulet revealed. Shen Yuan hissed through his teeth, hoping that the demon would at least take no interest in such a small babble, but it seemed that the gods truly never were in his favor. The ice demon took the jade pendant in hand and snapped the twine from around his neck seamlessly, and a sudden rush of smells and overwhelming emotions flooded his system.

He felt he was about to pass out from that alone, then the scent glands on his wrists and collarbones began to ache agonizingly, the abused and neglected glands trying to remember how they were supposed to serve their purpose and moderately release his scent, and from their lack of practice, his scent was uncontrolled and flooded the air.

The ice demon that held him down seemed entirely unaffected, if only mildly surprised. The strikingly pale skin and white hair of the attacker practically shone in the low light of the evening, but all Shen Yuan could focus on was the putrid and disgusting scent of an Alpha. "Hm, it seems someone has already beaten me to that." The ice demon muttered, moving his hand away as if seeing a wound already on his neck meant that there was no purpose in killing Shen Yuan by that means, completely ignoring the flood of Shen Yuan's scent, entirely unaffected.

It wasn't much of a common courtesy to ignore it, but it was one that even in the situation he was in now, Shen Yuan could appreciate.

Shen Yuan ground his teeth and prepared himself to bear with whatever pain came, but when he spared a glance at where he last saw Liu Qingge, he expected to see the War God already breaking free, likely not sparing him a single glance, and if he did, it would likely be full of disdain and hatred. Liu Qingge despised liars. He thought that he would be taking on the enemies at hand, as Shen Yuan was taken care of first, letting the demons take care of his disgusting and useless Xiao-shixiong for him so he wouldn't have to look at him anymore.

Instead, he saw the paralyzed state of the War God of Bai Zhan Peak, eyes wide and expression a mix of complex emotions that Shen Yuan loathed to admit he couldn't recognize. But above all else, Liu Qingge wasn't fighting; he wasn't even moving, and from behind him, one of the demons who wasn't holding down the Bai Zhan Peak Lord for good measure raised a spike meteor hammer, coiling his arm back as he prepared to strike the killing blow.

Shen Yuan felt his heart plummet.

"Leave him!" Despite the state of his arm, he pulled against the grip, his hair fluttered in his face, and it made it hard to see, but he continued to struggle and shout. "Leave him! Do you hear me!? Leave him! Kill me, that's fine! Leave him!"

The ice demon that held him down hummed at his shouting, raising his hand to stop his compatriot from killing the Peak Lord, he loosened his grip just enough to let Shen Yuan stand on one foot as he shouted before he used his other hand to push Shen Yuan down by his shoulder, forcing the man back onto his knees as he grabbed his jaw and yanked his head back harshly, tearing at the wound on his neck slightly and making him choke on the blood pooling in his throat until he had no other choice but to cough it up despite gravity.

"Even if we cannot cut that throat of yours, perhaps the eyes will be just as worthy a prize." Shen Yuan had not a moment to think of what he meant, to try and piece together through the fog in his mind, and to react in order to avoid it.

A dagger as white as snow was unsheathed, and Shen Yuan was only given a second to look at it before a pain completely new and entirely agonizing descended upon him without mercy or pause.

His ears rang like the tolling of bells, he could feel his throat tearing further from how he was screaming, and he could taste the blood pooling in his mouth, some of it escaping out of the corners of his mouth while the rest choked him, but he couldn't care to stop or control himself as blood pooled in his vision before everything turned entirely black and he was left writhing in agony as his eyes were gouged out.

Finally, a searing numbness took over him, and he fell limp. He felt himself hit the ground, it was cold but it felt comforting in comparison to his burning hot skin. Suddenly, it got colder still, it felt like something was being torn off of him, but he didn't care, his fingers brushed against something smooth and warm, and he absently realized that it was his discarded amulet.

When the ringing in his ears subsided, he heard the telltale sounds of choking and death. He couldn't tell who it was, but he absentmindedly hoped that whoever was dying wasn't Liu Qingge. However, he preferred to lie there, darkness surrounded him already, and there was no doubt that death would come for him soon; he could be patient just a little while longer and wait to be reunited with his brothers.

"...Tianyan..." He heard the hoarse voice to his right, and he suddenly realized that Liu Qingge hadn't left, he heard the sound of iron hitting the stone path that was stained crimson, and now that his amulet was off, he could smell the scent that he knew undoubtedly belonged to Liu Qingge; agarwood and bergamot with a hint of sage; only now it was laced with a strange bitterness that made his stomach ache and skin bristle, he didn't understand what it meant, but all he knew was that he didn't like that bitterness with Liu Qingge's scent.

He found that the scent was wholly encompassing and even alluring.

For a moment, he wanted to ignore the scent and the voice he heard, surely Liu Qingge would leave soon once he thought him dead, but when he heard a low raspy chuckle and what sounded like a weapon dragging across the stone path, he stiffened.

"Join your comrade...in death–." The ice demon—who was now missing an arm and likewise missing an eye—raised a discarded spike meteor hammer, prepared to bring it down on Liu Qingge, who was barely propped up by Chen Luan supporting his weight.

However, the demon did not hit his mark as a sharp tune hung in the air and Hui Qu had moved without a single movement from its master, imbedding itself in the chest of the demon before he could bring about the final blow.

Liu Qingge looked up and watched as that sword removed itself from the demon's chest, following the sound of soft humming as it came to Shen Yuan's hand. The teacher shouted in pain and whimpered as he moved; every part of his body was in an insufferable amount of pain; he couldn't see, his right arm was completely broken, and even holding onto Hui Qu didn't help him regain his balance.

"...Qingge..." When he called out to him, he received no response, and for a moment, he truly thought that the scent and the voice he heard were just a figment of his imagination. But when the wind blew again, he caught that scent again and followed it on weak legs like those of a newborn doe.

When the tip of Hui Qu hit the blade of Chen Luan, Shen Yuan knelt before the body that gripped that sword so tightly. He could hear what sounded like haggard breathing, and when his hand touched the War God's chest, he felt the poison in Liu Qingge's system surging.

He didn't know what kind it was, nor did he know what else it would do to him aside from killing him, but Shen Yuan didn't care to figure it out as he stood again, this time supporting Liu Qingge's entire dead weight and limp body in his one arm. He whistled a low tune, and Hui Qu responded by lying flat low in the air for him to step on the blade, making sure to grab Chen Luan with his broken arm.

He could still move his hand, and he would make use of what he had.

Without his sight, and while being in significant pain, Shen Yuan was unable to tell when they reached Qiong Ding's ancestral hall, so he was only able to estimate when to land, which placed them right on the steps of the ancestral hall. He grunted as he pushed Liu Qingge to drape across his back, which was heavily awkward because of the height difference, causing the Peak Lord's feet to drag against the steps as Shen Yuan climbed the rest of the way, Chen Luan in one hand and Hui Qu resheathing itself in its scabbard.

Qiong Ding had still yet to be taken, so the ancestral hall was eerily quiet as they entered. Shen Yuan, as gently as he was able, lowered Liu Qingge to sit against a pillar as he trudged back to the doors and closed them the rest of the way.

When he felt the talismans in the hall ignite from their presence, Shen Yuan allowed himself the relief of sliding down the doors and leaning against them. He reached over and felt his right arm, hissing at the pain it yielded; not only was his bone broken, but his arm was dislocated. So, with a headstrong conviction, he clenched his teeth and snapped his arm back in place, unable to contain his shout of pain when it went back into its socket.

Panting raggedly, Shen Yuan pressed his feverish forehead against the cold doors. He could feel the blood from his eye sockets running down his face like bloody tears, and he felt quite sick from it. So, he reached over and ripped his right sleeve from his outer robes, they had already been torn nearly to shreds, leaving only a few bits left that clung onto him for dear life, he tied his ripped sleeve around his head, tearing a bit of what remained of his outer robes off as well to wipe his face as clean as possible.

Then, with the conviction of someone much stronger than himself, he pushed himself up to stand and trudged over to Liu Qingge. "Qingge..." Shen Yuan spoke softly, though his throat was so torn that it didn't matter, and he still ended up coughing up blood. "I'm...I'm going to help."

Kneeling, Shen Yuan patted Liu Qingge's arms, chest, and legs down for injuries. Tearing his clothes into shreds to use as gauze and binding the wounds on both of them until from his normal three layers of robes and trousers all he had left to cover him was his thin pure white inner robe that when down far past his knees and white trousers.

When it was all said and done, he shivered from the cold, feeling about the long but thin sleeves of his inner robe and absentmindedly chuckling to himself at the thought that came to him. "Qinghua...we really didn't think of the cold when coming up with these fabrics." Even though he spoke softly, his throat was still in shreds, and so it caused him pain. He couldn't help but whimper at the ache and silenced himself before letting his body fall slack on the cold floor.

He was shrouded in an unfamiliar darkness, and he couldn't tell if death was finally showing him courtesy and coming for him, or if he was still doomed to live longer than he wanted.

He had no plan; he really didn't know where to go from here. Unless Liu Qingge could regain consciousness soon and lead him, he would likely lead them in a circle and they wouldn't be able to get away, not to mention the poison Shen Yuan sensed that Liu Qingge had been infected with likely wouldn't have the courtesy to wait for them to get their bearings before killing him.

If Cang Qiong was to survive, it needed at least one of its Peak Lords, especially Liu Qingge. The revered and honored god of war of Cang Qiong, if anyone was to survive, it had to be Liu Qingge. Having lost his filter due to the pain, Shen Yuan spoke his mind with little care for the persona he had forced himself to become all these years.

If he were to die, why die with secrets still weighing him down like heavy chains?

"...I really didn't mean to lie for so long..." He started coughing again, and he groaned at the thickness of the blood. If he kept talking, he really was going to go mute; he'd destroy whatever was left of his vocal cords. Ah, well...who was left in this world who would want to speak with him anyway? He might as well get his piece in before it was too late. "...I-I was scared when I first came here...Alphas scared me...even my brothers...they didn't know either...except for Qi-ge...but he found out on his own...I always wanted to tell someone and explain what happened to me at the...the brothel, what that man did, and why I–."

Another cough tore through his throat with a searing agony, and he forced himself to laugh through the pain. He was delirious; he knew this, but he couldn't help but laugh at himself. How pitiful he must look to the gods, the higher immortals that looked down on them; they likely could only look at him with a forlorn pity. "Wh-Why...Why I ca-can't speak...Maybe I should have...ah, gone to Mu-shidi about...it. But I was worried he'd tell someone...so only Qinghua knew...and Qi-ge...but he cou-couldn't do much..." He wasn't sure how much time passed in the silence, but he found that not even letting his body go limp welcomed death, and he could only focus on the sound of Liu Qingge's shallow breathing.

For a moment, he wondered if he should admit the truth behind their soulmark. But after a moment's contemplation, he thought better of it, if Liu Qingge suddenly regained consciousness and heard such a thing, he might just die from outrage knowing that Shen Yuan and Luo Binghe were his soulmates.

No...no, he wanted Liu Qingge to live.

From outside, Shen Yuan could hear what sounded like the marching of feet, and he sighed softly at the sound. "Qingge...they're outside...are you awake?" There was a hitch in Liu Qingge's breathing, but otherwise, not a sound that gave Shen Yuan his answer, so he merely pushed himself off his back and crawled back over to Liu Qingge. "Liu-shidi...I need you...Cang Qiong needs you...Please don't die."

Shen Yuan was once again left in silence, and for a second time since this whole ordeal started, he realized just how he hated the silence. He pressed his hand to Liu Qingge's chest again and found that the poison had spread out further throughout his body, and he hissed softly at the realization, doing everything he could to feed what spiritual energy he could spare into the War God's meridians.

Those marching footsteps finally made it up the stairs, and Shen Yuan flinched when he heard the banging against the doors. Reaching out for Chen Luan, Shen Yuan placed the sword in Liu Qingge's hand and tightened his fingers around it before unsheathing Hui Qu and pushing himself to stand.

"Liu Qingge...please survive, if anyone can fight Luo Binghe...it's you."

Just as he spoke, he reared back his hand, and with a rush of wind, the heavy and wide doors to the ancestral hall opened with a deafening slam. The demons that had been trying to open the doors and those who had been against the walls were all crushed by the doors, and Shen Yuan released Hui Qu into the air as he whistled sharply.

He dodged the attacks aimed his way, and he brought down demon after demon, but one man against an entire army was a far cry from fair. Even though Luo Binghe didn't seem to be here just yet, Shen Yuan knew it was only a matter of time, and he couldn't let any of these demons breach the ancestral hall.

Not only would he not let them get to Liu Qingge, but he would not let them claim any of the corpses of the Peak Lords.

He wasn't sure how long he fought for; he couldn't tell if his attacks were precise or if they were just desperate enough to be effective, but no matter which one it was, he was only human, and he could only last for so long.

From behind him, despite his body still guarding the entrance to the ancestral hall, an eagle joint chain flew at him from behind and attached itself to his back with a sickening crack as he screamed from the pain.

An eagle joint chain was a chain that had a joint that resembled the wings of an eagle that could attach to the skin of any demon, human, or beast that it came in contact with by the spines of the "ribs" of the joint stabbing into the ribs of the victim and shattering them to take their place. Not only was this incredibly painful, but it rendered the victim entirely immobile, lest they wished to pierce their internal organs with the dagger-sharp "ribs" of the joint.

The chain yanked back, and Shen Yuan screamed as he was forced back, only for another set of chains to fly out at him, this time clamping down with sharp spikes around his wrists. The spikes of the cuffs tore through his bone and flesh, and a hoarse cry left his throat as his legs tried to give out on him, but the chains kept him suspended.

He really couldn't breathe; the ribs of the eagle joint chain were stabbing into his lungs, and his throat was pooling with blood; he was suffocating from his own blood.

Pure white inner robes were stained crimson and Shen Yuan listened as he heard the triumphant roar and laughter rise from the hoard of demons. The posts that the chains around his wrist had been erected on the spot at either side of the grand staircase of the ancestral hall, so before the very place he had vowed to protect, Shen Yuan was chained and wounded, left to slowly die from his injuries.

He heard the cajoling of some of the demons, some calling for him to continue fighting, "Oh great Daozhang! Continue!" While others, those he could at least admit were merciful to some extent, called out, "Kill him now! What point is there in torturing him!? What importance does he have that we have to wait?!"

Though he could be grateful, at least for something, that these demons doubted him, and in turn let him die slowly. It gave him time.

The laughter and roaring stopped when a song sung by a ringing and angelic voice that could only belong to the heavens encompassed the entire grounds like a veil. Hui Qu, from where it had been dropped on the ground, began to float in the air, rising higher and higher and the song progressed.

None of the invaders knew how to react, too enraptured and mesmerized by the voice and the power that thrummed over the ground of Qiong Ding to realize what was about to happen. Not even when the singer's solar plexus began to glow from his golden core, as though his spiritual energy was reaching out of his body.

When the song reached its peak, and all that was left to hang in the air was weak and breathy vocalization of that melody, Hui Qu came roaring down from the skies, tip aimed at its master's chest.

Shen Yuan let his voice fade out as he sensed Hui Qu's approaching presence and with a smile far too genuine and hopeful for such a terrifying situation, he gave his final wishes. "Live well...both of you."

When the blade hit its mark, a blast of bright and holy light erupted from the entrance of the ancestral hall, the demons that had crowded in Qiong Ding were all either sent over the side of the mountain from the blast or pieced through by the physical blasts of the condensed spiritual energy, clearing the entire grounds.

The eagle joint chain was broken, and the chain of his right hand was snapped only at one end, leaving it loose. Knees stained with blood and dirt dropped to the ground, hair the color of ink fluttered in the wind, and skin blessed by the moon glowed in the dim light of early dawn.

The shards that remained of that spiritual sword were scattered, though what remained of the hilt bore two tassels, one a stained jade and the other a stained grey and dark blue.

Many did not know the man who was left hanging by the chains of the demons that day, almost no one knew his story, and none knew the true name of the ethereal and tragic beauty that was killed so brutally that early morning.

But there was one thing that they did know.

A broken heart still beats.

Chapter Text

“Let’s go now, darling.” The voice was directly against his ear, and there was a moment when he wanted to open his eyes to see who could dare to replicate that voice. But then the phantom pain came upon him, and he remembered that he couldn’t see, so there was no point in answering.

This was likely death's final trick on him; he’d just wait to meet Yangwang in Youdu, where he would be asked about his life by the king of the underworld, and he would give his piece before he was determined to enter the reincarnation cycle or not.

“A-Shi, silly boy, I know you heard your Jiejie, you can sleep a little more once we go back inside. You’ll catch your death of cold if you stay out here, and you’ll be breaking your Jiejie’s heart!” That couldn’t be a trick, not even death could be so cruel.

Daring to open his eyes, almost expecting to see the grim face of the undertaker, he was instead met with a youthful woman’s vibrant and colorful face, laden with makeup that he remembered always thinking looked so beautiful, but was likely a pain to do every day. Her smile was like that of the sun, warm and inviting, and Shen Yuan breathed a heavy exhale when he realized that those pains he felt were indeed nothing more than phantom pains, and all that was left were dull aches in his legs and on his shoulders.

“There is my lovely little butterfly.” Bai Daiyu…no one else called him that, no one else had looked at him so thoughtfully, when he lay on the cold stone floor of the cellar, hair matted, and covered in bruises.

He dared to test his voice and found only the mild discomfort of a dry throat, rather than the pain of an unhealing wound. “Yu-jie…?” He tried to lift himself, but found that his arms were significantly weaker, where was he? Was this the underworld?

“So he does remember me!” Bai Daiyu grinned, reaching out to put her arms underneath him and lift him seamlessly into her embrace, brushing his hair out of his face with a gentle hand. It was only then that he finally looked down at himself, and saw just how he had changed.

His hands were small, his limbs thin and brittle, and he was dressed in dirty, flowery robes that he remembered despising with every fiber of his being.

He was a child again!?

A sudden dread came over him; if he was a child again, he was back at the brothel. Bai Daiyu was still alive, but so was Chen Qiang; the fire hadn’t happened yet, and neither had his injuries that left him unable to speak for the rest of his life.

By the time reality set in, he was shaking, for the first time in years, the cold bothered him. He realized soon enough he was freezing, his stomach painfully empty, and this body he was put back into was weaker than even he remembered. Bai Daiyu clicked her tongue softly and suddenly wiped at his cheek; there was a wetness there he hadn’t expected, and he looked up at her with wide eyes. “Poor little one, did you have a nightmare down here? That Chen Qiang…he…ah. Don’t listen to this Jiejie of yours, she’s spitting off from the mouth, let’s get you inside.”

She carried him like he weighed nothing, and for a moment, he truly forgot that, like this, he truly did weigh nothing. The stairs to the cellar were steep, and he wanted to tell Bai Daiyu that he could walk himself, but the second he tried to shimmy out of her grasp, she chuckled and jostled him a little to startle him into holding onto her shoulders. “There we go, little butterfly thinks himself a big eagle and is ready to fly? It's so cold in the winter! My poor little A-Shi’s wings will freeze and shatter like glass! Then this Jiejie of yours will have to put you in her pocket and keep you there forever!” She made a poor attempt at an evil cackle, and Shen Yuan couldn’t help but stare up at her adoringly.

When he was younger, and she used to carry him like this, he would pout and get upset with her because he didn’t like appearing weak. He’d squirm and make a fuss until she’d make a heartbroken sigh and put him down to walk at her side, even though he had trouble keeping up with her pace. She’d continue to tease him, and as any stupid and ignorant child would, he’d take her kindness and attempts at making him laugh for granted and give her the cold shoulder.

Now, however, Shen Yuan could only sniffle at the memories of the times he took his Yu-jie for granted and took advantage of being so small again to curl up further in her arms and cling on as tightly as he could. He was weak like this; he wasn’t sure if he retained his spiritual abilities, and he wasn’t even entirely sure of what was happening and why. Still, he could handle the rest later after he thoroughly memorized every line of his Jiejie’s face.

The woman slowed in her steps at the sudden grip her little A-Shi had on her. He normally wasn’t one to like physical affection, always shying away from anyone who would touch him. Hell, it had taken her well over a year of cajoling the boy into a relaxed state around her so she could just cup that pouty little cheek of his.

Her A-Shi was so unfairly cute that it was hard for her at first not to tease him and just snuggle him. He had been terrified and hurt when he first came to the brothel, dragged inside by that awful Chen Qiang, and yelled at when he started crying just as any scared child would in a new place. She had only taken a look at him before she understood that whatever this child went through before coming here was truly just so awful that he couldn’t even stand still without trembling in fear, biting his lip, and keeping his eyes on the ground.

It had broken her heart to see such a cute little boy seem so scared, unable to even let the sisters of the brothel come near him and comb his messy hair. She had taken on the challenge readily; however, all her little A-Shi needed was some love and attention, to be shown how someone should treat him, and some decent food to put some meat on his bones, and he’d be all the better for it.

He was left to room with Bai Daiyu upon her request to the brothel master, and those first few nights truly were the hardest. The boy had just recently presented, he didn’t know a thing about being an Omega, and every night when his body quite literally couldn’t bear the strain of his refusal of sleep, she’d stir awake to hear the soft crying and calls for a Da-ge and Er-ge in the little boy’s sleep.

It was only when he turned twelve that he actually sought out Bai Daiyu’s touch. Initiating a hug around her waist, and even some nights crawling into her bed with her when the thunder would roar throughout the night, and the rain would batter the windows.

But no matter how comfortable he grew with her, he still was a bit of a stubborn boy, refusing and disliking being babied, carried, or pampered. It was only through a long explanation and pleading session that Bai Daiyu had been given his consent to actually start doing his hair and teach him how to do it too. When he had no other choice but to be carried, he’d pout and be upset, giving her the cold shoulder until his childlike sense of pride healed fairly quickly after the bruising.

He was a polite and quiet little boy. Didn’t start much of a fuss over anything aside from being babied, pampered, or carried. He helped where he could, did his best in his lessons, despite Chen Qiang’s cruelty throughout them, and did the work he was assigned in the brothel without complaint. Even when those jobs consisted of serving tea in girls' clothing to those sick men who would specifically ask for him.

There had been many a time when Bai Daiyu used her favoritism in the brothel master's eyes to get those men banned from the establishment, lying and saying that they had tried to cajole her into offering her business to them when it was a known rule that her only patron was the brothel master himself.

It had rained last night, a heady thunderstorm, and Bai Daiyu looked at the curled-up boy in her arms and smiled sadly. “It rained heavily last night, A-Shi. Did it give you nightmares? Don’t worry, Jiejie will run off those bad dreams!”

Shen Yuan untucked his head from her shoulder, and just…looked at her. She was exactly as he remembered, young and beautiful, with a smile that he had missed every day since he lost her. There was a strange aching in his chest, one that he wasn’t familiar with, and suddenly, he was crying again.

Bai Daiyu had seen him cry more than once and heard those heartbreaking sobs in the quiet of the night as the boy called out for his brothers in his sleep. But it was rare that her A-Shi truly cried willingly in front of her. To say she was startled was an understatement. “A-Shi!” She had already entered the brothel, the cellar was outside, and they had gone through the back door before Shen Yuan could even notice. Kneeling, she helped the boy stand as she held his face, looking him over worriedly. “A-Shi! Little butterfly, tell Jiejie what hurts, I’ll make it better. Don’t worry, you won’t have to cry anymore, Jiejie is here!”

She, however, was surprised when that little boy instead only surged forward and wrapped his arms around her shoulders again. Shen Yuan was thirteen as of the past month, and while Bai Daiyu was rather tall for a woman and an Omega, Shen Yuan was just short. Both due to what she could only assume to be genetics and malnourishment.

Startled, she slowly wrapped her arms around him in turn, rubbing his back softly as he tucked his face into her shoulder and cried softly. “Missed Jiejie…I rea-really did.”

The admission made her heart clench, both in a terrible sense of relief that she immediately berated herself for and in sympathy for this poor boy. “Oh…oh, A-Shi…Jiejie will always be here for you. He has no reason to miss me since I will never leave.” She discreetly wiped at her eyes before her makeup could run and before Shen Yuan could notice. “Besides, there will likely be a day that A-Shi is all grown up and such a handsome young man that you’ll loathe having to deal with this Jiejie of yours. You’ll have to run me off with a broomstick when I try to pinch your cheeks!” She said this as she leaned back just enough to make her point by pinching Shen Yuan’s cheeks gently, only to falter when she saw the serious look in the boy’s eyes.

Since when had her A-Shi borne such a mature look?

The boy took her by the hands and said resolutely, “I’ll never get tired of Yu-jie, I won’t run her off, and she can always stay with me. I’ll never get upset with her again either, this one…this humble Yuan will always be grateful for Jiejie.”

Bai Daiyu couldn’t help but pause. Astonished and a little teary-eyed, she couldn’t help but stare at the boy who stood before her, feeling her mouth run dry, she licked her lips and nodded softly. “This…This Jiejie is glad…” Coming back to her senses, she cleared her throat and her head and asked the important questions. “Yuan? Is that what A-Shi wishes to be called?”

Shen Yuan nodded softly. In the…past? Past life, perhaps? It didn’t matter; he would figure it out later. He had never told anyone his real name. Everyone only called him by what they had heard, even his own brothers.

Shen Shi and Shen Tianyan.

Yet no one seemed to remember his real name, sometimes not even him.

He planned to rectify that, here and now. “Shen Yuan…that’s my real name, Jiejie. Shen Shi is the name the human traffickers gave me. But Shen Yuan…is what my brothers named me.” Bai Daiyu’s gaze seemed to frost over, upset and disgusted. For a moment, Shen Yuan feared that he had somehow already made a terrible mistake despite having only just woken in this past… another world?

Seriously, what was happening!? Was he in a different world or the past? And why!?

Bai Daiyu seemed to read his expression, something he was not used to. He thought he was better at his poker face than that!—and quickly reassured him. “That’s such a lovely name, A-Yuan. I’ll make sure no one mistakes it anymore…this Jiejie was just…upset to hear that her little butterfly had to be named by those stinky dogs!” Despite himself, he couldn’t help but chuckle at the dramatic face Bai Daiyu pulled when she referenced the human traffickers.

“There’s my sweet little boy.” Bai Daiyu cooed, cupping his face again to wipe at his cheeks a final time before reaching out to pick him up again, faltering when she realized, and quickly retracting her arms. “Ah, sorry, sorry, this Jiejie forgot that my little butterfly is soon becoming a big eagle, he can fly all by himself now, can’t he?”

Technically speaking, Shen Yuan was a thirty-two-year-old man, but as of the moment, he was thirteen again. He was small, he was weak, and…he really wanted to be as close to his Jiejie as humanly possible.

So, before Bai Daiyu could stand, he reached forward again and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, quickly realizing how embarrassing this was, he tucked his head into her shoulder and mumbled, “Still…Still Jiejie’s little butterfly…I don’t want to fly alone yet…”

Without even meaning to, Bai Daiyu’s eyes welled up with tears, and she had to hug Shen Yuan impossibly close to keep the boy from seeing. Her little butterfly! Her heart wouldn’t be able to take it! She was either going to die from pure happiness and how unfairly cute that was, or from the relief that flooded her heart.

She knew from the beginning that Shen Yuan was only close to her because he had no other choice, and he was alone in a new place with no one to turn to. It was always her first reminder to be gentle with him and let him try to go about things at his own pace, but sometimes Shen Yuan’s pace was risky. It was as if the boy didn’t understand the difference between living and dying and didn’t care to find that difference, so she was given no other choice but to step in.

Which inadvertently always left him just a little farther from her than she would like.

But she had accepted the task for what it was, she loved Shen Yuan for who he was…however, she truly couldn’t deny the sheer relief that flooded her heart to hear her sweet little butterfly say such a thing, to finally admit that he needed her help and readily ask for it without prompting!

She was going to cry, damn; she’d ruin her makeup.

So, to hide it the best she could, she picked Shen Yuan up again, cradling him lovingly in her arms as she discreetly wiped at her tears before the boy could notice and led him to wrap his legs around her torso so she could support his back and bottom. “That is perfectly alright, A-Yuan. This Jiejie is happy her little butterfly isn’t that ready just yet…to be honest, this JieJie of yours isn’t ready to let you fly alone just yet either.”

Shen Yuan once again nuzzled into her embrace, inhaling deeply and finding that the sweet scent that was nearly identical to that of milk candy was still as calming and welcoming as he remembered. He saw his Jiejie’s tears, and had internally kicked himself a hundred times for her reaction…he truly had been such a brat when he was younger, what an awful little twerp he was to treat his beloved and benevolent Jiejie so terribly, he’d make amends in this life.

Bai Daiyu headed for the inner courtyard, the brothel itself was a bit larger than just a regular pleasure house. Seeing as all of the women who worked here regardless of their jobs, also lived here, there were two separate buildings. One for the patrons to stay in and the other where the workers lived.

The main courtyard was large, he remembered vividly the number of times he would run out there and climb a tree or hide in the bushes to hide from the brothel master. He was never allowed to leave the brothel, not even if someone was with him. The farthest he had gotten on his own had been a few feet past that damned cellar before the brothel master dragged him back.

When they entered the living area, Shen Yuan was greeted by a flurry of scents that he had long since forgotten, and couldn’t help but shake his head to clear the dizziness that clouded his eyes. It was a little overwhelming being able to smell again, and it wasn’t like he could ask his Jiejie for those special teas that some people took so their domination had less effect on them both mentally and physically.

“Ah, so you went to get him anyway.” He knew that voice.

He barely turned his head when he saw the woman who blocked Bai Daiyu’s path. Madam Wang. She was the person in charge of the brothel when Chen Qiang was away; she was just as mean as he was, and she was also Chen Qiang’s wife. She had no qualms about ratting anyone out to the brothel master, even over the slightest mistake, Shen Yuan in particular. He could never understand how that woman could always blame his Yu-jie for being the favored concubine of the brothel master, he knew just as well as everyone else in the brothel that Bai Daiyu would much rather slit her own throat than actually officially marry the man. So, he never understood how Madam Wang could treat her so terribly, but he remembered clearly just how much he did not like her.

Bai Daiyu smiled politely, though it didn’t meet her eyes. “Da-jie, he’s still so young and small, he’d catch his death of cold if I left him down there. He’s learned his lesson; he won’t make the mistake in the pipa lesson again.”

That’s right, I always got thrown down there for the silliest things. What did I do this time? Play a C major instead of an E flat? Shen Yuan scoffed at his own question. Truly, was it so hard to exhibit some kindness to children? Especially those who were turned into your care without their own volition? The brothel madam and the brothel master both were too cruel; thank the heavens they didn’t have any children of their own.

Madam Wang scoffed at her, taking a step forward to grab Shen Yuan’s arm. Bai Daiyu tried to back away before she could grab him, but the madam already had a hold of his sleeve. “If he can’t even greet me properly, then he needs to go back down there. Children must learn right from wrong.” When she pulled him from the safety of his Jiejie’s shoulder, Shen Yuan didn’t even relent when he glared the woman down.

Screw it if he was in a child’s body again! Like hell, he was letting this disrespect go on any longer! His Jiejie deserved better! “This one apologizes to Madam Wang, however, I have long since learned my lesson, but it was you and Chen-Ye who failed to teach it.”

Madam Wang was left speechless and turned red on the spot. “You–!”

“Madam Wang will attract flies if she keeps her mouth open any longer.” Shen Yuan restated a lesson of hers that she had prattled at him one day when he had been forced to practice vocal exercises so he could sing to the patrons. Then he had gotten in trouble when he had promptly closed his mouth.

Madam Wang looked only a moment away from losing her composure, but as the madam of the household, refusing to lose any more face to a child, she merely said, “Xiaozi will start his lessons immediately, if there are any mistakes, Chen-Ye will know.”

“Of course, Madam, we’ll get started right away.” Bai Daiyu nodded politely, though Shen Yuan did no such thing as the woman left.

He didn’t give a damn if he’d be sent down to the cellar for a week because of the disrespect! Worth it! A thousand times worth it! If only he were tall enough as he was before! He’d glare down at that awful woman for real and give her a real piece of his mind!

When the Madam was good and gone, Bai Daiyu exhaled heavily, looking at the boy in her arms skeptically. Who was this child, and what had he done with her timid little butterfly? “That was a little bratty, A-Yuan.” Bai Daiyu sighed, though Shen Yuan only shrugged.

“Respect is given when earned. If she disrespects Jiejie, this one will do so in turn as compensation.”

Bai Daiyu really couldn’t help but laugh. Who was this boy? And when had he become so daring? “A-Yuan must be careful, you know how terrible Madam Wang’s temper is.”

“Let it come.” Shen Yuan hissed, ire coloring his gaze dark. There was one thing that he loathed about his past, it was he used to be a pushover. Even if you used him as a doormat and kicked him in the face, he wouldn’t say a thing, merely take the beating and then pat himself off and carry on like nothing happened.

Even when he had joined Cang Qiong Mountain, almost nothing had changed. He couldn’t speak, and he couldn’t go to his brothers, so he just took what he was given and said nothing about it.

It was only when Shang Qinghua joined the picture as his one and only friend that things changed slightly. The An Ding Peak Lord used to screech in rage whenever he saw that Shen Yuan’s peak siblings went too hard on him in sword practice, or he had been made to do their chores or homework. The poor man’s blood pressure would rise beyond comprehension, and he would go on a tangent for hours as he either paced Shen Yuan’s dorm room or he would drag him back to An Ding to do the same. Lecturing him over and over that even though he couldn’t speak, he needed to do something to stand up for himself.

He had taken those lectures with a grain of salt back then, and carried on with how he lived in solitude on Qing Jing Peak with only Shang Qinghua and his brothers to keep him company on occasion. Then, when their generation took the mantle, he still lived in solitude; the only thing that changed was that he was no longer used as a punching bag or live-in tutor.

This time, in this life, no matter if this was a matter of rebirth or time manipulation, he wouldn’t live like that again!

Bai Daiyu gave up rather easily on correcting him, honestly a little too impressed to have the heart to scold the boy on etiquette and manners, so she only continued to their shared bedroom where she placed him on his bed and hurried about the room to pick out thicker—and more gender-affirming—robes that weren’t plainly obvious for a girl, yet dainty enough that the brothel master or Madam Wang wouldn’t come after him for wearing them.

“Does A-Yuan wish to take a bath before getting changed? I’ll have to leave you in the library by yourself until dinner. It would be best for you to stay in there and do your lessons without leaving so Madam Wang won’t catch you and find a reason to scold you again.”

His Jiejie really did plan so far ahead…this was no life for her to live. Shaking his head from those thoughts, Shen Yuan nodded affirmatively. “This one can clean himself, that way Jiejie can finish whatever she has to before I start my lessons.”

Bai Daiyu nodded, laying out his clothes before prepping the bath water with a simple talisman. No one there was by any means a cultivator, but Chen Qiang had enough affiliations with the right people to obtain such luxuries as talismans and other such charms to make the mundane parts of life a little easier. When he was younger, he used to stare at the talismans that the women in the brothel used so mundanely; he found them painfully fascinating and had even once seized the opportunity to sneak one into one of his books to study himself.

Now, with the knowledge that he had, with the experience that he possessed beneath these uncalloused hands of his, simple things like this, things that used to bring him such excitement, seemed incredibly lackluster and almost disappointing.

It was a rather numbing experience.

“The bath is ready. Jiejie will stay in here until you’re ready. I want to make sure you haven’t gotten sick again.” Shen Yuan didn’t argue as he would have when he was younger. He didn’t pout or try to persuade her to leave, instead only nodding shortly as he ducked behind the screen with rolling clouds painted on the paper as he stripped himself and jumped in the warm water.

His hair had always been rather long, though he couldn’t remember the last time he had willingly worn it down. Back then, there was hardly ever a day when his hair was not held up in a ponytail or a topknot that was tied tightly enough to keep even the thinnest of strands from falling out of place.

The last moments he remembered wearing it down, both willingly and unwillingly, had been when…when his brother was taken by Luo Binghe under the guise of holding him in proper and fair custody until the trial.

The water he was in seemed to ripple, even as he didn’t move, and he could only fully submerge himself from the head down as the memories came flooding back like a tidal wave.

At first, when Shen Qingqiu had been propositioned for the crimes; when that damned Qiu Haitang came barging in uninvitedly, he hadn’t been too worried. He fully expected his brother to smart-mouth his way out of prison, or for Yue Qingyuan to talk the Huan Hua Palace Master into letting him await the trial in Cang Qiong Mountain. But when those first weeks turned into a month, then two, and then more, even he couldn’t keep his head for very long.

There had been times when he tried to visit, to check on his brother, but he had been denied each time. Even when he asked to see Luo Binghe, to at least see if that disciple of…to see if the new head disciple of Huan Hua Palace had any information he would be willing to give, he was rudely denied every time. More often than not, by some of the women of Huan Hua Palace.

The disciples were worried, they asked about their Shizun, and Shen Tianyan hadn’t the answers to soothe them. At first, he tried to keep himself contained, to not let his worry show, but by the time three months had passed; double the time it was supposed to be for the trial to commense, something in him had cracked, and he couldn’t even remember why.

His hair was never put up, constantly tangled and disheveled. He didn’t leave the Bamboo House once, scouring through the endless library of Qing Jing to soothe himself. Hoping to find the answers that no one could give him in even the strangest of books that he grabbed blindly.

He didn’t eat, he didn’t sleep, and at times…he would purposefully take off his amulet and leave his clothes in their disorganized and disheveled mess, allowing his hair to weave itself into unmanageable knots…all for the hope that his brother would come barging in and scold him.

Shen Qingqiu, his Er-ge, had always despised uncleanliness and a disheveled appearance. Even though it hadn’t been a huge issue, when Shen Yuan first joined the sect, and couldn’t do his hair properly, and even though he wouldn’t—couldn’t—speak to his Er-ge, the head disciple of Qing Jing would always make the time to come into his room in the morning and do his hair for him, schooling him for every minute that passed.

His hopes had, of course, not been answered. He was left in that mess of himself until one day his own scent, the very one he couldn’t even recognize, became unbearable to him, and he had to put his amulet back on and burn the clothes he had been wearing to get the scent out. He had scrubbed himself raw that night, eyes stinging, and limbs aching, no matter what he did. He didn’t feel clean.

Those terrible nights had been plagued with memories long since lost in the sands of time, memories of their life on the street. Memories of his Jiu-ge braiding his hair and occasionally taking him to the river to clean himself properly and to help him wash his hair.

Even though they had been living on the streets, and didn’t have much to actually clean themselves with, Shen Yuan had never felt better but in those moments when he would sit in between his Gege’s legs and relax into the comfort of his brother’s hand combing through his hair, washing it, and then braiding it once again to keep the knots out.

He couldn’t remember those months that had passed clearly. There had been too many nights where the voices in both his head and his heart had grown too loud; when all he could do was cover his ears and pour his entire being into reading, trying to find the answers to everything within the vast knowledge of Qing Jing’s library. There had been too many days when his vision would blur, and all he could do was stare absently at the blurry pages, waiting for his vision to clear so he could continue.

He reemerged from the water, rubbing at his eyes as he tried to fight away the memories that kept coming at him, but nothing would make them go away.

There had been times when he wondered if he should go talk to someone; if he should reach out for his Da-ge, perhaps even Shang Qinghua. But there had always been something stopping him, something he couldn’t see and something he couldn’t name. His pride and dignity…that wasn’t it, he barely even had either of those back then. There was no sense or logic in his actions either, so that wasn’t it.

Even now, he still had no clue what he had been thinking. Why hadn’t he gone to someone for help? Why, even when he had worked so hard to regain the privilege it was to have his voice, he couldn’t use it? Why didn’t he go to his Da-ge? His best friend?

Why didn’t he tell Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge?

Absolutely not! What the fuck is wrong with you!? Shen Yuan screeched his thoughts to a halt, splashing his face with water to snap himself out of it. What the absolute hell was he thinking?! Tell Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge what!? That they were soulmates and that in the end, he didn’t want either of them, just as he knew neither wanted him! What would that have accomplished, huh!? Not a damn thing!

Have I finally gone insane? Shen Yuan groaned to himself as he looked at his warped reflection in the water. It was…strange to see himself like this. His face was of course younger, but there were no dark eye bags under his eyes, his hair was wet but not tangled, and as he looked himself over from head to toe, he found a subtle bitterness blooming in his chest once he realized that he didn’t bear a single scar, only a few bruises.

His back was devoid of the scars, as was his neck. There wasn’t a damn thing on him that could testify to what he had lived through back then. While it was five parts relieving to finally be rid of those terrible reminders that had put his body through inescapable pain his entire life, it was just as five parts disheartening to be left so…empty and devoid of the life—no matter how unfortunate—he had built for himself.

As he thought harder about these things, washing his hair and scrubbing himself down from head to toe as he tried his best to remember this rather small body of his, a sudden question came to mind. Do I still have my spiritual and martial abilities? He lifted his hand from the water, flipping to a fro a few times. But just as he was about to call upon his spiritual core, a terrible and vivid memory flashed before his eyes.

His ribs were breaking; no doubt the ribs of the eagle joint chain had long since pulverized his bones and were clamping down around his organs, piercing through his lungs as he pushed out every lyric and controlled what was left of his voice through every melody.

This song…was not a regular song, nor was it one that even he remembered learning. Merely, it had just been something that he just…knew. He could feel Hui Qu’s presence above him, the magnificent blade drawing in his spiritual energy and condensing it for him.

It was a strange feeling, to have your spiritual core slowly drained out of your body. To have that glow in the middle of your chest slowly fade away and grow into the blade of your sword. He couldn’t say it was particularly painful, but in moments like this, in a situation like this, what time had he for pain?

The pain slowly became agonizing enough to numb, the final note of that song hung in the air like the final toll of a gong at the start of a war. What was left of the world around him seemed to fade away, he couldn’t see a thing, nor could he reach out to seek a final mercy, a final comfort.

And as his ears picked up on the shrill cry of Hui Qu piercing through the air, aimed directly at its master’s heart. He could only smile, a terribly genuine and heart-wrenching thing, but he couldn’t feel a bit of fear as he uttered his final wishes. “Live well…both of you.”

It had been sudden, even though he knew it was coming, and for a second, it seemed as though he wanted to scream. Then a warmth he hadn’t felt in such a long time encompassed him, and the darkness he was already shrouded in seemed to fade away, leaving only a pleasant and welcoming warmth that was slowly fading into ice.

Despite himself, he gasped sharply when that memory vanished, and he sprang out of the water. Tripping over unfamiliar feet as he scrambled for his towel, why did he have to remember that? Why did he have to remember what it was like to die?

However, in that case, it seemed this really was a situation of rebirth.

He had shattered his golden core. He’d drawn it into his blade only to then bring it down upon himself, destroying it and everything else within a hundred-yard radius. Qiong Ding’s ancestral hall was protected by a vast amount of spells and talismans, he had known even then that even if he self-detonated it right in the doorway, the interior of the grand hall would be left untouched.

Hadn’t he left Liu Qingge in the grand hall? Had he made it out? Did that poison hurt him too much? What of Luo Binghe? Had he been in that horde when he self-detonated? Did it hurt him? What if Liu Qingge had been outside the ancestral hall when he did it? No…If Liu Qingge had been outside and able to stand, he would have started fighting immediately, or he would have shouted at Shen Yuan to…would he have shouted at him to stop? Perhaps he was able to escape once Shen Yuan’s self-detonation took care of the horde, giving him time to flee and make it somewhere safe.

What if Luo Binghe hadn’t been in that horde? Did that mean that he would find Shen Yuan’s corpse hanging by those chains in front of Qiong Ding’s ancestral hall once he traversed up the mountain to lay waste to the final piece of the once-proud Cang Qiong Mountain Sect? Would he even care? Perhaps he would be happy that Shen Tianyan—his unreliable and traitorous Shifu—had died such a drawn-out and painful death. Maybe he would even leave his corpse there, letting it rot until the beasts came to collect what they could of it, perhaps in the hopes of leaving the remains of his soul without rest or peace in the face of an improper burial.

Would they both be okay? What of Liu Qingge when Luo Binghe undoubtedly found him, and what was left of Cang Qiong Mountain? Would he show mercy? Perhaps try and come up with a peace agreement? Would Liu Qingge agree to it? Would he foolishly try to fight him again? Who would win if they fought? What of Luo Binghe’s psyche? It was clear that when he had last seen him, the man had been in complete mental disarray, no matter the cool and collected appearance he kept about himself, Shen Yuan had seen the madness behind his eyes. What would happen to him if left unchecked?

Would Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe ever figure out that they’re both soulmates? Would they figure out who their third was eventually? Would they even care that he was dead? Perhaps they’d be happy to be rid of him. But what if they actually missed–.

Stop thinking. It’s done. It’s a life, long since lost. Even if I could go back there…I’d be dead. Luo Binghe wanted me dead in the first place, and Liu Qingge…couldn’t give a damn less about me outside of obligation to his sect. He said this to himself bitterly, drying off his hair as he emerged from behind the screen wrapped in the large towel that reached from his neck to his feet.

Bai Daiyu looked up when he stepped out from behind the screen, only to freeze when she saw his expression. “A-Yuan? Little butterfly, why are you crying?” Startled by her question, Shen Yuan let go of his towel with one hand to reach up and touch his face. When had he started crying?

“I…I don’t know…” Shen Yuan answered truthfully, confused and disturbed, he went to wipe at his face quickly, only to have his hands held gently.

“That’s alright, A-Yuan, don’t be so mean to yourself.” Bai Daiyu ordered, leading him to sit down so she could help him get dressed. “My little butterfly is still so young, it is alright if he cries when he needs to, even if it is for no reason. Sometimes, the best thing one can do for oneself is to give oneself that ability to just be hurt.” She helped him slip into his robes, checking him over from head to toe for any grave injuries in a way that used to make Shen Yuan embarrassed, but only now made his heart swell in admiration.

When he took the comb in hand, she reached out and wiped his face for him, smiling reassuringly as she led him to sit between her legs. “A-Yuan is a smart and strong boy, but he is still only a child. Do not be so eager to grow up just yet. This Jiejie of yours still has many things to teach you.” The simple brushes of the comb and the gentle tug on his scalp grounded him, and despite himself, obeying his Jiejie’s orders, he started to cry again. Bai Daiyu only hummed and continued. “I’m so very proud of my little butterfly for being so strong, that he is independent and relies on no one, it is a great skill to have…But I pray he knows that this Jiejie will always worry for him and that he is never truly alone.”

His hair was kept down, soft and sleek locks braided once on each side of his temple and pulled back to tie together like a crown. She adjusted herself to see the boy’s face, only to have a child too small and too thin for his age push himself into her arms, wrapping his arms around her shoulders, and he sniffled softly and choked on each sob, as if crying in itself was impossible for him.

“This one wants to stay with Jiejie, no matter where we are…Jiejie, don’t leave…please don’t leave.”

Cradled like a baby, Shen Yuan didn’t even bat an eye when the woman pulled him into her lap, hugging him and cooing to him. “My sweet little butterfly, don’t you know? This Jiejie will never leave you, don’t beg me anymore, you’ll break my heart then we’ll both be crying. This Jiejie loves you and will never leave you.”

But Jiejie…Shen Yuan thought with a sense of dread and agony. You already have before…how can you tell me now you won’t leave me?

Chapter Text

Surprisingly, the brothel was not as terrible as he remembered.

Perhaps it was just because he wasn’t nearly as scared as he used to be. Where he had used to cower in the storage closets, hide in the wardrobe, and sniffle and cry like a pathetic little twerp for his big brothers; he now stood stiffly, strictly, and without a break, he wore the clothes laid out for him without question or complaint, he did his hair as was required, and never neglected his duties even if this uselessly weak body of his was near the brink of collapse.

Madam Wang had yet to find a single reason to scold him in both his lessons and his work in the brothel.

It satisfied him smugly whenever he watched her exasperatedly look for even the slightest mishap in either his calligraphy or mathematics, even going as far as to try and best him in Go, only to lose to a thirteen-year-old who wore an expression of detached impassiveness entirely foreign to his normally expressive nature.

He reveled in the sight of the madam storming off angrily, without even the reason or right to scold Bai Daiyu for anything. His Jiejie’s life was simpler this way, when he didn’t get in the way or cause any problems, her life was peaceful. It could have always been like this if he hadn’t been so weak in his past life.

Even when Chen Qiang visited, there was practically nothing for either of them to get onto him for. It pleased the brothel master immensely, and he had even started to greet the stiff form of Shen Yuan: who bowed to him and greeted him with a clear voice and bleak tone, with a head pat as he entered, happily awaiting the perfect scores of music the boy would play for him, along with the tea and snacks masterfully prepared.

Shen Yuan didn’t care for his praise, he didn’t care that he made the brothel master happy, he didn’t care that he wasn’t being hit as often as he used to be, he didn’t even care that Chen Qiang had even learned to call him by his name rather than Shen Shi as everyone else knew him. Even when the brothel master outwardly bragged about him to the regular customers, especially those disgusting friends of his, having him specifically serve them for the hours they were there, even going as far as to have the boy sit at his side as though his successor.

He had nearly gagged when one of those slimy, debaucherous men dared to call him the little Chen-gongzi. Only for another to say, “No, no, a face like that is too fair to be a little gongzi. Perhaps a little Chen-guniang instead?”

If those men had been any blinder, Shen Yuan would have sworn that they all were disabled and deserved pity for their mistakes. But he knew, likely better than most, that the men he stood before as nothing more than brief entertainment were not blind, but they were disgusting.

They were horrible, debaucherous, greedy, slimy, and vacuous.

If Chen Qiang had seen how his fingers flexed into the thin, pale orange robes he wore with a too-low collar, that only revealed the flat chest that would always stay flat, because he was a man. He didn’t voice it, and instead laughed off his friend's harmful teasing, and waved Shen Yuan off to either get them more to eat or to return to whatever chores he had left to complete.

This life…he hated it as much as he hated it before, even though now he knew how to bear with it…it was infuriating.

He wasn’t Chen-guniang, he wasn’t Chen-gongzi.

He was Shen Yuan—no one else.

He was not Shen Shi, he was not Shen Tianyan, he was not Chen-gongzi or Chen-guniang.

But…was he even truly Shen Yuan?

He wasn’t a girl, he didn’t like to wear these clothes, he didn’t like to be touched by that Chen Qiang, even if it was just a pat on the head. He didn’t like that those friends of his teased him in such a cruel way, even though they knew that their comments cut him deeper than a knife. He didn’t like playing music for them, he didn’t like to sing for them, he didn’t like making their snacks and tea, and he didn’t like sitting next to Chen Qiang, whose mood could go from volatile or chummy in less than a second.

He liked his Jiejie; he liked her smile.

He liked that she could relax more often now; he liked that she didn’t seem as fearful to leave him alone when those men came over and when Chen Qiang came to check on his progress.

He liked the fact that she could hum softly to him in the mornings without her hands trembling as she braided his hair, as though she was about to start crying all because of him. He liked that when she helped him pick out his clothes, she didn’t seem forlorn and aggrieved to be holding the robes, but instead just slightly empathetic, and not as worried.

She wasn’t as worried as she used to be.

No one was as worried as they used to be. The other brothel sisters seemed calmer as well around him, no longer as tense and worried; afraid that if they said the wrong thing, they could hurt him, and life was simpler like this, wasn’t it?

Bai Daiyu was happier now, wasn’t she? Because he had fixed himself; because he had made it easier for her, and because he wasn’t a burden anymore.

He liked that.

So, the good outweighed the bad.

He reminded himself of that daily, each morning he awakened with the sun.

Just as he had done in his past life in Qing Jing, in his lonely little cottage without even a butterfly to keep him company. He moved lightly, well-placed footsteps padded across the cold floors, but he didn’t feel it. The door to their room opened quietly; ever since Shen Yuan had taken some oil from one of the sheds outside and fixed it, it no longer made Bai Daiyu stir when he opened the door to head out.

Hardly any of the other women were awake; those who were likely were only awake to tend to the kitchens before taking a nap during midday when their chores were done. Many of the courtesans naturally slept in late, since they had to work late into the night, but Shen Yuan found that no matter how late he might have stayed up, he couldn’t break the habit of rising with the sun.

“There is Yuan-er.” Meng Lian, a hardened woman who had the temper of a bull, yet surprisingly enough, the gentleness of a hare. Even Madam Wang didn’t dare to mess with her. “Does the little one wish for anything different today? I have already made the rice, and the steamed buns are almost ready.”

When he had first come to the brothel, he remembered that this woman had once scared him. Her imposing nature and stubborn tongue had left him wondering if she was either constantly angry at everyone or just him.

Looking back on it now, he really wished he could jump through time and whap himself on the back of the head and cuss himself out for being so stupid and blind. Meng Lian was rather imposing, and her stature only made her that much more, a Beta with the attitude of an Alpha. But she was kind to those who earned her favor.

Apparently, Shen Yuan had long since earned that favor, ever since he joined the brothel, and had been the reason for Bai Daiyu’s improved mood. It also helped that he willingly helped with the dishes and didn’t make a fuss when asked to help prepare dinner or lunch.

Though to have Meng Lian ask him if he wished for anything different was strange. He was a creature of habit by fault, every morning he would only eat a plain bowl of rice and a steam bun or two if his weak stomach could handle that much food, the rest of the congee, rice, and steam buns would be for Bai Daiyu when he brought them to her so she could eat in the comfort of their room, and then he’d garner Bai Daiyu’s—not truly needed—help in fixing his hair and his clothes, before he set off to do his chores and lessons.

So, what was the point in asking him if he wanted anything different?

“This one is content with whatever Meng-Ayi makes.” Shen Yuan answered, causing the broad-shouldered woman to chuckle, shaking her head at him as she turned and gently poked his nose with her spoon.

“Yuan-er, don’t you know what day it is, huh? Our boy is so well-read and smart, but he can’t remember dates?” Clicking her tongue at him, she turned back to the stove, leaving the boy confused. “What else would Yuan-er like today? He should eat a little more each day, put some weight on you.”

Still confused, and having only truly come out for Bai Daiyu’s food and whatever Meng Lian required him to eat, he thought for a long moment. “Bao buns?”

Meng Lian laughed at his tone, but otherwise nodded and pointed to the cupboard in a silent order for him to grab the ingredients. “I ask you what you would like, and you answer as though it is still a question.” She took what he handed her one by one before handing him a bowl of rice with a single steamed bun on top. “Take a seat and eat.”

Meng Lian…was acting strange.

She wasn’t the only one either!

Just as Meng Lian had finished the bao buns, Bai Daiyu and a few of the other brothel sisters came rushing in as if a herd of wild cats had chased them. A few of them were giggling, hushing each other, and seemingly excited. Though the second they saw Shen Yuan sitting at the small table near the stove, they all quieted down quickly before Bai Daiyu looked over at Meng Lian as if she had just thrown flour in her face.

Meng Lian only hummed at her, dropping a few more steamed buns into the boiling water as she put a few of the sweet buns on Shen Yuan’s still almost completely loaded plate. This was too much for him to eat! Also, why was everyone awoken so early? Did he forget something?

“Why is Jiejie awake so early? I was still coming to bring her breakfast.” Shen Yuan mumbled through a mouthful of sweet bun, it was unfairly delicious, and he regretted his weak stomach increasingly the moment he realized he wouldn’t be able to eat them all, especially as Meng Lian kept spooning them onto his plate as though he hadn’t eaten in over a week.

Bai Daiyu sighed fondly in a familiar way and reached out to pet Shen Yuan’s hair, which was still left unkempt. “I was hoping that A-Yuan would sleep in a little today.” She smiled at him, and Shen Yuan couldn’t help but look past her and see the other brothel sisters whispering, still, giggling, and excited.

Seriously, what was he missing here!?

“I don’t sleep in, Jiejie.” Shen Yuan murmured, having already had this conversation with Bai Daiyu a few weeks ago when the woman once woke up to him gone from their room and had nearly had a panic attack, only to come barging into the kitchen, at the brink of begging the imposing Meng Lian for her help, finding Shen Yuan throwing a few steam buns into the boiling water for breakfast.

“I know, I know!” Bai Daiyu sighed, bending down to pet his head and squish his cheek. “Don’t blame this Jiejie for wishing her little butterfly would sleep a little more today!”

He was about to ask her what was so important about today when the other brothel sisters finally stopped their mumbling and instead chose to speak up a little bit more. “Yu-jie! Yu-jie! Never mind that, let’s give him his present now so he can wear it today! It’s so pretty!” The woman who had begged her had taken Bai Daiyu’s hand and swung it excitedly, grinning at Shen Yuan in a way that left him slightly unnerved.

Present!? For what!?

Could someone please fill me in here!? Shen Yuan thought to himself as he watched a few of the women disappear, looking over at Meng Lian with a frightful expression, she only laughed at him and patted his head. When they returned, it was with a tightly wrapped bundle of clothing in light blue colors and purple and white accents.

He was still unable to speak when the excited brothel sisters pretty much shoved it into his hands before helping him untie the ribbons around it, and then taking it from his open hands and showing off the outfit to him excitedly.

It was a male’s robe, clearly. A high collar accented in white, which was embroidered in a rather dainty style of flowers and butterflies in purple. The cuffs of the long and billowing sleeves were embroidered similarly, only at the hems of the sleeves and the bottom of the robes, birds were flying and singing. The belt that tied it together in the front was white as well, but with a black jade buckle in the shape of a butterfly.

It was strangely everything he was and wasn’t allowed to wear, all mixed into one outfit.

Seeing that he was struck speechless, the women all cooed and giggled like the jingling of bells. “Ah, look at poor Yuan-er! He’s so excited he’s speechless!”

“Little one, try it on, try it on! Your Jiejies want to see you in it!”

“No, no! Let’s wash his hair first and do a different hairstyle today! He’d look so adorable with his hair tied up!”

Despite their excitement and having the robes once again thrust into his arms, Shen Yuan was still left shocked and slightly disturbed. What was all of this for? Had he forgotten something important? Why were they giving him this and gushing over how he dressed?

“Hush, hush, all of you.” Bai Daiyu clapped her hands, silencing the women who flittered back and forth like clucking hens. “We’ll do what we can, for now, eat some breakfast before our day starts.”

Meng Lian nodded and tapped her pot with her wooden spoon, nodding for each woman to take her seat. The fluttering hens all immediately obeyed the stern glare of their cook before smiling and waving to Shen Yuan, who followed his Jiejie out of the kitchen with a confused expression.

“Jiejie didn’t eat…” Shen Yuan realized once they walked through the courtyard, upset welling up in his stomach as he tried to turn around and forget about the robes in his hands so he could get Bai Daiyu’s breakfast.

The woman grabbed his shoulder and laughed at his worrying. “Never mind that; this Jiejie of yours isn’t too hungry this morning anyway. I can always ask A-Lian if she has leftovers later.”

His worries were not settled, and despite what he thought to be a controlled expression, Bai Daiyu laughed at the slight pout that puffed out what was left of baby fat on the boy’s cheeks. Her sweet little butterfly, he really was growing up too fast, especially as of late.

They had only stepped foot in their shared room for a moment when Shen Yuan realized that this was, in fact, an elaborate plan since the bath was already drawn. Bai Daiyu was hurrying him into it before the water could chill from the chilly spring air that naturally seeped into the room. He was barely even given the chance to try and wash his hair himself when Bai Daiyu hurried over and did it for him, doing the same when it came to drying his hair until Shen Yuan was thoroughly dazed and somewhat hesitant as he helped the woman get the robes on him.

She started flittering around the room once again once Shen Yuan was dressed, and he found that looking down at himself, it was rather peculiar to see himself in something so…natural. The high collar and the light blue color were calming and nowhere near as gauzy as the robes required by the brothel, and he even found that the rather dainty accents of butterflies and flowers didn’t bother him as such things normally would in the outlandish and pale orange robes he was used to wearing.

“Does A-Yuan wish to wear his hair up today?” Bai Daiyu’s voice broke him from his thoughts, and he unconsciously found himself touching his hair that had been consistently left down to pool over his shoulders as of late.

He never wore his hair up as a child. That habit only started when he joined Cang Qiong and found that having his hair down so often proved difficult with his world load, and it was rather nerve-wracking to give people another way to grab him and pull.

He stopped wearing his hair down at fifteen, and it never went down again afterward.

But he wasn’t in Cang Qiong…he wouldn’t be in Cang Qiong again, he was here, he was at the Blooming Lotus. This was where he had to play the part to survive; this was where his Jiejie was, and this was where he would do what he could to get them out.

His brothers weren’t here; he wasn’t a child.

“I’ll wear it up, Jiejie.” It was time to let go of the past. He hadn’t been a child for an exceedingly long time.

Bai Daiyu nodded and sat on the bed as she patted her leg to call him over. He dutifully sat on the floor in front of her, fiddling with the draping sleeves of his new robes, running pale fingers over the white accents and purple embroidery.

Sometimes he found himself not recognizing his own hands. Pulling them back to his face to inspect them, only to remember that he was not in the body of his past life, but of this one. A life reborn, a second chance was given, and a new path that he would pave for himself and his Jiejie.

Cang Qiong would…likely survive without him. He didn’t see much reason for him to venture out for it, if Luo Binghe joined the sect in this life…then who could stop him? Even if he did venture to the place where he had been damned, what could he change? His brothers were as interchangeable as the rocks of that very mountain, so what if he went there and warned them? If he revealed every lie and truth to behold? What then? They would leave with him? Live a simple life with him and Yu-jie? They would be…a family again?

Wishful thinking.

But it would never happen. His Er-ge adored his cultivation too much; he had worked too hard for it and suffered too often to give it up so willingly. Da-ge, on the other hand, couldn’t leave. He was needed there just as the rain was needed over the earth. He was the sect leader; without his guidance, Cang Qiong itself would likely fall into ruin long before Luo Binghe had his say.

Besides, who said they would listen to him in the first place? If he told them the truth and the lies; if he revealed every mercy and sin both inflicted and saved by the heavens, who was to say they’d even believe him? Who could say that they’d take one look at this lost and…broken little brother of theirs and not call him insane? Not cast him aside and shun him? Who could say that he could change what fate had already been written?

It was already by fate's hands that his Jiejie died, that he lost her and everyone else in that dreadful fire, and that by no one’s fault but his own, he suffered wounds so great he’d never speak clearly again, and face nothing but chronic pain for the rest of his life.

He was already trying fate now. But fate was fickle; what did it care for two lives so insignificant? Could it not be merciful and at least spare her? But Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, his brothers, Luo Binghe, Liu Qingge…what could he do? He was disliked in his last life there by his existence alone; he was unapproachable and unlikeable. What would be different in this life?

“Is A-Yuan in pain?” Once again snapped from his thoughts, Shen Yuan averted his gaze from where it had been trained endlessly on the hem of his robes and looked up at Bai Daiyu dazedly. When he didn’t answer her, she merely placed a hand on his shoulder and asked again. “Does A-Yuan feel any pain?”

“No, Jiejie, this one is fine.” Shen Yuan answered, though Bai Daiyu only raised a brow at him. She had seen the shaking of his hands; the way his fingers gripped the trimming of his sleeves so tightly the fabric was liable to fray. She saw the dazed look in his eyes, but her little butterfly still claimed to be fine. “I…This one may just be a little tired still.”

Nodding softly, she reached for the bronze mirror and hung it in front of Shen Yuan to let him see himself. “How does A-Yuan like it?” Oh…Oh, it was as if nothing changed.

His hair was held up in a tight bun, not a single strand of hair loose, and whatever excess that could not be fitted into the bun was snugly wrapped around it in braids. Like this…he truly did look the part of his past self, with sharp features, cold willow leaf eyes, and a straight nose, only with a younger face.

It was time to let go of the past; he wasn’t a child anymore, and he wouldn’t ever be one again, no matter the body in which he resided. “This one likes it, Jiejie. Thank you.” Bai Daiyu hugged him, kissing his cheek affectionately as he could only wrap his arms around her loosely and return the gesture.

“Is A-Yuan excited for today?” Bai Daiyu asked, gently rubbing at his scalp from where his hair was pulled up so tightly.

He couldn’t remember what was to be remembered about this day, but as he turned over his shoulder to ask her, the door to their room opened abruptly without a warning or courtesy. Madam Wang stood in the door frame, hands hidden within her elegant sleeves, but her face as always was covered in a harsh shadow from her sneer, she spoke without manners and gentleness. “Come to the main hall.”

Bai Daiyu rolled her eyes the second the woman was gone, but otherwise, she and Shen Yuan headed to the main hall without fuss. When they arrived, however, it was Chen Qiang and his friends that they noticed first and foremost. Bai Daiyu seemed to pale slightly, and Shen Yuan understood her reaction; they hadn’t expected the lord’s visit.

“They asked for Shen Shi.” Madam Wang stated from their side, eyeing Shen Yuan specifically while the boy nodded cooly and went to the kitchen to grab the tea and snacks.

Bai Daiyu, however, stood in the doorframe with a harsh expression as she unwaveringly glared at the madam. “Da-jie, you know his name…please use it.”

Madam Wang scoffed at her request, looking away from the younger woman with a scowl. “He’s nothing more than a slave my husband bought a few years ago. What difference does it make as to what I call him?” Madam Wang said. “He would answer to “bastard child” too, wouldn’t he? If I told him to?”

The question was asked knowingly, and Bai Daiyu pursed her lips in disdain at the haughty expression the madam bore. “He doesn’t deserve to be called by that. Nor by Shen Shi. Even Chen Qiang calls him Shen Yuan now. Why must you treat him so cruelly, Da-jie?”

Her sleeves cut through the air with a sharp sound, her glare could bore through the very bricks that were used to build the brothel, but she did nothing to vent her grievances aside from scolding Bai Daiyu as quietly as her ire would allow. “It matters not what that husband of mine calls him. Nor does it matter what you ask of me. Just as Chen Qiang is his master, as am I. He will do as I say, and answer as I call him.” When she saw the sorrowfully angered and sympathetic expression on Bai Daiyu’s face, Madam Wang only scoffed and turned away from her. “He will learn regardless of how you or I treat him. If you coddle that boy too much, he will believe himself to be something greater than what he is. Then what will happen when someone comes along to beat him back into his place?”

“...I wouldn’t let that happen.” Bai Daiyu murmured, turning away from the madam’s back.

Unable to see the eye that gazed over a shoulder to look at her for a moment before looking away. “You cannot protect him forever, Yu-mei. He will soon be recognized as an adult in the eyes of society. Even if he was raised in this whore house, there will always be someone out there willing to go to extremes, both high and low to gain something pretty and rare. If he does not learn this now, then how do you expect him to survive?”

With her voice caught in her throat, Bai Daiyu was unable to respond before the madam left with nothing more than a wave of her hand in dismissal. She stood there silently for a moment, dazed and fearful, before she heard familiar and gentle steps approach her. Quickly fixing her expression and patting the skin under her eye to make sure her makeup hadn’t been smeared, she cupped her hands in front of her so she could turn to the boy with a smile.

“Does A-Yuan need any help?”

Shen Yuan carried a tray that was almost comically wider than his shoulders. Supported by two hands and carrying a vast amount of snacks and teas, he held the tray steady with the practiced ease of a professional. Something Bai Daiyu remembered her little butterfly didn’t have long before, but a few months ago.

Had her little boy been practicing?

“This one can manage it, Jiejie. Chen-ye doesn’t like laziness.” His answer was rather routine. He always denied her help and took on the stress himself. It was both a worrying and a proud moment for her. While she was happy her little butterfly had found his confidence to no longer need to stand behind her and clutch her robes fearfully, she was just as worried every moment she saw that bleak and almost…emotionless gleam in his eyes.

But she had to be seeing things. She reminded herself of that. Her little butterfly was doing so good for himself, he seemed confident nowadays, he didn’t stutter when he spoke, he looked everyone in the eye when he was supposed to, and his lessons were going so well as if he had memorized everything overnight. Besides, he never had that look in his eyes around her...At least not for long. He always seemed so relaxed when they were in their room, or outside in the courtyard together, as though the weight of the world had finally fallen off of his shoulders, and he never once refused an offer or request of affection or to lie in bed with her as she read one of her novels.

She had read in a few parenting manuals that children went through varying stages of maturity and growth during the teen years, and she could imagine growing up in a brothel only added to the hormonal imbalances, so perhaps she was just reading too much into these things…no one else seemed to question his new behavior, the rest of the brothel sisters even seemed to be ecstatic from it.

“A-Yu, can you come help me?” Meng Lian called for her, and with no other need to keep her away, she headed into the kitchen.

From the corner of his eye, he saw the silhouette of the woman leave, and he looked back at the table only when Chen Qiang cleared his throat and eyed him skeptically. The tray was still in his hands, and with every look he was given, the urge to raise it and bring it down upon each of their faces grew increasingly harder to ignore.

“Old friend, what happened to little Chen-guniang’s uniform? You’ve got him in the wrong clothes!” One of the men finally pointed out, laughing at his own comment as he sipped on the wine Shen Yuan brought.

Chen Qiang nodded slowly, giving Shen Yuan a look that demanded an explanation from him. For a moment, a snide thought tried to corrupt Shen Yuan’s tongue, the overwhelming urge to tell each man at the table that their tastes were mediocre and crude, their decorum and manners laughable, and their appearances pitiful to only the fact of how desperate they are for any person to spare them some attention as they hardly treat those who do with even the common courtesy, and as a result will never find whatever unrealistic expectation of a partner they were looking for.

He didn’t say that, however, merely saying, “This lowly Shen was gifted the clothes just recently, I was unable to change before Madam Wang retrieved me to serve Chen-ye and his guests.” Bowing sincerely without the expression to match, he said, “Forgive this humble servant for the mistake.”

A few of the men murmured some form of a dismissal, forgiving him for his transgression, while the same man who had spoken up first was the first to ask his question. “Who would give you such things? Don’t they know you’re the little Chen-guniang? Tell them that they have terrible tastes!”

My Jiejies aren’t the ones with terrible tastes, you bastard. Shen Yuan thought bitterly, still in his bow as he glanced from the corner of his eye at Chen Qiang, who merely took a sip of his tea before waving his hand in dismissal. “Enough, Hao Ling, if anything Chen-gongzi.” Shen Yuan had to bite his tongue to keep himself from gagging. Now Chen Qiang was in on the damn term!? Kill him before you ever refer to him as the little Chen-gongzi or Chen-guniang! “It’s about time he started dressing responsibly. It would be of no good for him to cause problems because of immodesty.”

The man who had spoken before silenced himself, mumbling something under his breath as he took another sip of his wine. Shen Yuan, however, couldn’t tell if the feeling welling up in his chest was relief or…disgust.

Take responsibility for how he dressed? His immodesty would cause problems?

As if he hadn’t been dragged into this hell hole by his wrists, each hand damn near broken from the force. As if he hadn’t begged and cried for Chen Qiang to spare some mercy and let him out of that damn cellar. As if he had asked for Chen Qiang to burn all of his old clothes, stating they were “tainted by the impure world he lived in,” before making him wear only the clothes he picked. As if he had asked to be hit and beaten whenever he dared to wear anything other than those ridiculous, gauzy, and uncomfortable clothes in his presence. As if he had hoped that every move, every look, and every second he was even alive would be taken under scrutiny, and he would be punished just for being.

Would he cause the problem? Was it his fault?

It would be his fault.

Chen Qiang gave him another look, and Shen Yuan took the hint to sit down and say his thanks. “This one thanks Chen-ye for his benevolence. This humble servant will be sure to take responsibility from now on.”

This seemed to please Chen Qiang, as the man patted his head, the rest of the men all began to converse naturally. Their topic of discussion varied from painfully boring to revolting in less than a few minutes. He poured the tea when he saw it was needed, he refilled the plates with specific snacks for each guest, and he stayed quiet.

It was only when the first man left, and the others slowly followed after him, that Shen Yuan finally breathed deeply in relief. Cleaning up after the patrons and the brothel master, he tried to move quickly so he could escape before Chen Qiang could remember to call him over.

He clearly wasn’t fast enough when the sturdy and imposing form of the brothel master appeared before him as he took the last of the dishes. “Shen Yuan, come with me.” Setting down the dishes, he mentally prepared himself for what was to come. A few bruises were nothing to him; he could handle it, a few cuts on the wrist from the ruler weren’t the harshest things he had ever faced, and he’d be fine.

But when they entered the east courtyard, he was surprised that instead of scolding him or raising a hand to hit him, Chen Qiang took a seat on one of the benches and motioned for Shen Yuan to stand before him. “Does Shen Yuan truly understand what it means to take responsibility for his dress and how he behaves himself from here on out?”

Confused, Shen Yuan nodded slowly. “This one understands, Chen-ye.”

Humming affirmatively, Chen Qiang motioned to the vacant spot next to him, and Shen Yuan slowly took his seat. “Then Shen Yuan understands that now that he is older, he is viewed as of age for anyone. He must take responsibility for himself. What he wears and how he behaves himself matters significantly, you must not be a hindrance to anyone or cause problems, and you must remember that as an Omega, your place has been set by fate, but it is only up to you as to whom and how you will take that place.”

An unsettling feeling settled low in Shen Yuan’s stomach, but knowing better than to let it show, he made sure his expression was composed as he said, “This humble Shen will do as Chen-ye says.”

“Good.” Chen Qiang murmured, standing from his seat as he took a final look at Shen Yuan. “Get rid of your old clothes, from now on you will only wear things such as this, and your hair will be kept up. Also, you’ll be running errands to the market from now on as well.”

Surprised, Shen Yuan truly couldn’t help the way it showed on his face, nor the way his posture straightened significantly from it. In the past life and as of late, he had never been allowed to leave the brothel, not even to go to the market. He had always been kept within the borders under the watch of Madam Wang and the brothel master, unable to escape.

Chen Qiang noticed, but said nothing, handing a small list and pouch over to Shen Yuan as he nodded. “Go ahead now, I expect you to return before sundown, complete the rest of your chores and your lessons, and be in bed at a proper time. Am I clear?”

Taking the items, Shen Yuan bowed once again as he said, “This humble servant understands. He will do as Chen-ye says.”

With nothing left to say, Chen Qiang waved him off, and Shen Yuan hurried away to get what he needed to leave. He couldn’t say that he wasn’t a little excited to finally leave the brothel, even if it was just for a little while to run errands. He was still being given the freedom to leave; he could just put on his shoes and run, he didn’t have to come back, he could just drop everything and run like a madman through the forests until he was as far away as possible.

He could escape.

But no. No, he couldn’t. He wouldn’t

He wouldn’t leave his Jiejie here.

When he returned to their room, it was empty, and the faint smell of incense somehow smelled a bit stronger than normal. He ignored it and hurried about grabbing his boots, which were only worn on occasion if he was allowed outside of the main courtyard; they were so rarely worn that there was even a sheen of wax still left on them from when he had first received them.

He made quick work of the laces, checking the list only once before fiddling about until he found a large enough basket to fit everything he would need. Before something could come along to stop him, he practically sprinted out of that place, only remembering to compose himself once he reached the unfamiliar gate of the estate entrance. The roads were too crowded or busy, so he didn’t worry about trying to hurry this up as he ventured down the paths, looking around at the different and unfamiliar signs.

Two lifetimes he now had lived in this area, and this was the first time he was actually able to take a look at the town. It wasn’t small by any means, but it wasn’t as large as some of the cities he remembered near Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, and especially not as lavish as the rich cities in Huan Hua Palace’s territories.

It was simple to find what he needed, though it was only when one of the bound silk threads he had been sent to buy caught on the bottom of the basket and lifted the flat of it until he saw a spec of color hidden underneath. He set the basket down on the ground as he knelt off to the side of the road. He carefully peeled the parchment out from under the flat surface of the basket, from where it had been hidden, only to be surprised at the familiar handwriting he found.

A letter.

It was a letter that he had written three years ago to the day.

Though perhaps for him it truly had been and felt like twenty-three years.

He hardly even recognized it; the handwriting was sloppier and obviously had been hastily scrawled out. He couldn’t help but chuckle bitterly to himself at the sight—he could just feel the bruises forming on his shoulders if Chen Qiang were ever to see it—otherwise, it was legible, but it was very clearly written by an only barely literate child.

Even the date he had scribbled at the very corner seemed to mock him. He read over it slowly, scoffing at himself repeatedly for the vocabulary he used, the lack of formality, and everything else that was wrong with the letter.

No wonder he had hidden this in the basket; it was never used, and he had likely figured out that Chen Qiang wouldn’t check there to see if he had done poorly in one of his lessons, so he wouldn’t have to face another lashing. He couldn’t remember writing it, but it was clear that it had been written around the time he first made it to the brothel, and those memories were just as blurry as ink falling into a river.

To whom had he even written this pathetic letter?

There was nothing here but pathetic whining and crying, constant repetition of fear and longing, and the hope that he would make it out, or someone would come back to get him. He never once wrote a name, but over and over the letter was nothing more than the grievances of a child upset over the beatings he faced and the harsh lessons he learned, the fear of an unfamiliar place—especially since that place was a brothel—and the few sentences of written down hope for a better future and for someone to find him here.

For a long moment, he paused in the middle of the very last paragraph. He really couldn’t handle reading this. It was so informal and poorly structured that he could feel his teeth ache from how hard he clenched them. His eyes were burning from his glaring, and he wished for nothing more than the ability to travel through time and beat that stupid little kid he had once been.

How idiotic had he been? Crying and whining like this? Being rude to Bai Daiyu all at the same time? All the while, he wrote down these feelings in a letter that wasn’t even addressed to a specific person, only to hide the evidence of his crime in the sliver of space of his basket in hopes of not being found out.

What a little twerp.

He was about to tear up the letter and bury it in the ground when his eyes scanned over the final sentence.

‘Didi doesn’t know if Da-ge or Er-ge will ever see this. I don’t even think Er-ge is alive anymore, not since Qiu-jie yelled so much once we returned to the manor a few months ago. But I hope that we see each other again, if Didi can’t send this letter, he’ll burn it so Da-ge and Er-ge can have it to keep them company in the underworld before I see them again in the next life.’

The letter ended there, scrawled and poorly written, but legible enough for someone to read. The sides of the parchment wrinkled in his hands, and he wanted to tear up the letter even more.

His brothers? This pathetic letter had been for his brothers?

Instead, he folded it up, kicking himself mentally when he saw the scribbled names on the front of the paper that he had missed before.

‘Yue Qi and Shen Jiu. Da-ge and Er-ge.’

“How pathetic…” He murmured bitterly, grabbing his basket as he looked around for a place where he could discard the letter without being noticed. There was no way he would let anyone else see this.

However, just as he spotted a place where he could discard the parchment, a body larger than his own knocked into him from behind, causing him to stumble and have to use both hands to stabilize his basket and make sure nothing fell out. However, he was unsuccessful as a few of the fruits he had been sent out to buy fell out and splattered against the ground in an aggravating sight.

“Ah! Excuse me, young man.” The man who had run into him apologized quickly, crouching to pick up the letter he had dropped. Ultimately, his eyes scanned over the names on the front and looked down at the boy with a friendly smile that Shen Yuan didn’t reciprocate.

“Since I ran into you, how about I save you the trouble of having to find someone else to deliver this for you? Just give me the place and it’ll be there quite fast; my business has some of the best mail carriers around!”

Shen Yuan was about to decline and ask for his letter back until the idea of it slowly settled over him. What did it matter if he gave the letter to this stranger? Even if he told him it was going to Cang Qiong, what were the chances of it ever actually making it there, let alone either of his brothers actually reading it?

He wasn’t even entirely sure that either his Da-ge or his Er-ge were even in Cang Qiong Mountain Sect yet, so if it did get there, and they weren’t there yet, then it would be thrown away if someone didn’t claim it.

It was a little drawn out, but it was a successful plan to get the evidence of his crimes as far away from him as possible and to make sure that no one—especially not Chen Qiang—saw it.

“This one would appreciate it, sir…” Shen Yuan murmured, looking away from the kind stranger as the man hummed softly, obviously waiting for Shen Yuan to give him the address. “…Cang Qiong Mountain Sect. That is where it’s going.”

“Cang Qiong?” The man chuckled in surprise. “That is a bit far, isn’t it? Good thing this old man ran into you then, huh? Haha, don’t mind me, young man, I’ll make sure it gets there then, free of charge since I made you drop your groceries.”

Since when are people this nice? Shen Yuan mused to himself, though he supposed it didn’t matter in the end, it wasn’t like he was actually vying for the letter to make it, and if this man turned out to be nothing more than a scammer, then it didn’t hurt him at all.

“Thank you, sir.” Shen Yuan bowed to him before hurrying off. he had to go back to replace the fruits he had lost, and he didn’t want to stick around for the conversation any longer.

One less problem to worry about, no evidence, then he couldn’t be blamed for the past grievances and idiotic tendencies of his past life. He didn’t need anyone to come rescue him; he wouldn’t wait like last time, and he wouldn’t hope and pray for a better future. He would make it happen, he would rescue them, he would get them out.

He wouldn’t try to run away like last time.

Brothers or no brothers, sect or no sect, soulmates or no soulmates, what did it matter to him? He didn’t need anyone to come; he wouldn’t expect it either. He didn’t need them, just as they didn’t need him.

All that mattered was making sure that he and his Jiejie made it out alive this time. That the brothel didn’t burn down, and that his Yu-jie wouldn’t have to suffer anymore.

It didn’t matter if he became a cultivator again, it didn’t matter if he joined a sect or not, he didn’t even care if he lived this life as a mortal.

A gaze far too cold for someone who appeared so young gazed down at the gentle blues of his new robes. Patterns that would have suited someone from long ago taunted him, gentle designs and loving touches made his skin itch and his teeth ache.

That stupid little boy would have liked it, he would have started crying and hugged every single one of them in thanks, he would have never taken it off, and if Chen Qiang had said the same thing to him in response to it, he would have cowered and trembled in fear, barely able to contain his tears and hide his expression.

That stupid little boy would have been scared to go out into town by himself. He would have bothered Bai Daiyu until she came with him, and he would have…he would have…

What would he have done if he had been presented with the same opportunity with that letter hidden in his basket? Would he have taken it? Would he have trembled in terror at the mere idea of being found out? Would he have even been able to look the stranger in the eye without running away?

His tongue clicked against his teeth, and his joints ached from his clenched fingers. That stupid little boy…stupid, stupid, stupid. Why had he been like that? He couldn’t even bring himself to blame Chen Qiang all that much for beating him the way he did, who wouldn’t have grown sick of such an insolent and annoying child?

The hatred that curled in his heart was volatile; it felt like a fire burning within himself, and he couldn’t even bring himself to stare at his feet as he walked.

Any problems that were caused would be his fault.

Maybe I was too judgmental of Chen Qiang…he wasn’t wrong all this time, I really used to be such an annoying child. I would have caused too many problems acting the way I did. That little hiding place at the bottom of his basket stuck out to him like a sore thumb, and he pushed his hand against it until it seemed as if it hadn’t been there at all.

Stupid little boy.

It didn’t matter anymore. Brothers or no brothers, soulmates or no soulmates, sect or no sect. Why should he care? If that letter made it to Cang Qiong, it wouldn’t matter; they would be gone by then. If it didn’t, then nothing would change.

He didn’t need anyone to save him anymore.

If he listened closely enough, for a moment he swore he could hear the song those birds on the hem of his robes were singing. But he didn’t take care to listen, nor did he look at the dainty and loving designs again.

He wasn’t that stupid little boy anymore.

Something in his mind clicked, something he had forgotten, and that date on the letter suddenly reared back in his mind’s eye to taunt him.

With a groan and a shake of his head, he murmured, “Who even cares about birthdays?” 

Chapter Text

"Shen Yuan."

Turning to who had called him, Shen Yuan met the gaze of Chen Qiang, who only nodded stiffly for him to follow. Smoothing down the long sleeves of his robes, he followed after the brothel master until they entered the west courtyard where the stables were.

"Since you will be running more errands outside, you will get accustomed to one of our horses so you can go farther distances without being a hindrance, am I clear?" He led Shen Yuan to the stables' entrance, where three horses stood or lay on their hay beds, keeping them safe from the cold of the coming fall.

Spring had turned to summer, and summer was coming into autumn; the weather was quickly taking a turn. Meng Lian had been complaining the past few mornings that breakfast would get harder to keep warm in the mornings and that her poor old stove would freeze this winter, always saying that she could feel it in her bones that the fall wouldn't stay for long this year, and winter would soon take over, leaving nothing but a harsh atmosphere for people to brave through unwillingly.

"This one understands, Chen-ye." Shen Yuan nodded. He already knew which horse to go to.

While in the past life, he hadn't been allowed to leave the brothel at all, he had been instructed to help take care of the horses that Chen Qiang kept at the brothel estate in case of emergencies. One of his best was Xiao Yingzi: Little Shadow. However, Shen Yuan always found the name misleading. Xiao Yingzi was anything but little, with a wide and stocky body that left the beast of a horse nearly reaching the ceiling of the stables and inky black hair. Shen Yuan always thought the name Da Yingzi: Big Shadow, would be better suited for such a creature.

Xiao Yingzi was a large horse, but he was also temperamental and aggressive, biting and kicking at anyone who tried to ride him. The only reason Chen Qiang hadn't gotten rid of him was because he was useful for pulling carriages once they could wrangle him into the reins, and because the great beast had been a gift from some old confidant of the brothel master, and the man refused to part with the temperamental creature.

Somehow, despite the hesitance he had that day in his past life, Shen Yuan had approached Xiao Yingzi and offered him some sugar cubes, and from then on, the horse had been rather calm around him. Allowing him to groom him and enter the stall with him without fear of being kicked or bitten, there were even times that Shen Yuan would hide from the rest of the world in the stables, and he always sought out Xiao Yingzi for protection, and without fail every time he ventured into the stall and allowed himself to rest, not a single soul would come to bother him.

Freeing himself from his thoughts, Shen Yuan looked up and realized that Chen Qiang was watching him expectantly, a hand holding out some sugar cubes and carrots. Does he want me to do it now, while he watches? Nodding slowly, Shen Yuan took the horse treats and ventured over to the stables, letting the first two sniff his hands and either turn away from him or just nudge his hand gently as they accepted the food, however, when he tried to shuffle closer to Xiao Yingzi, Chen Qiang's hand stopped him.

"Xiao Yingzi is temperamental; Shen Yuan should pick one of the others." It wasn't a suggestion but an order; however, Shen Yuan almost felt inclined to ignore it outwardly.

You should have treated him more calmly. Shen Yuan thought as he pretended to go back to the other two, before quickly jerking off to the side until he stood in front of the large beast. Raising his hand smoothly, he offered the sugar cubes as the horse lowered its head to sniff at his hand. "Shen Yuan–." Silence fell as the horse ate from his hand calmly, even reaching out to nudge at Shen Yuan's chest, huffing and puffing expectantly...almost excitedly. Stomping at the ground and nudging him some more, Shen Yuan answered with a gentle hand to Xiao Yingzi's mane, petting him and soothing him.

For a brief moment, Shen Yuan couldn't help but entertain the thought that perhaps Xiao Yingzi remembered him. That perhaps a natural born instinct told this temperamental beast that there was something to trust about this teen from long ago, a life since lost, and a bond since broken, but not to be left unamended. Maybe they wouldn't have to be lonely anymore, just as last time, they'd be in each other's company. Do you remember me, too, old friend? Without his knowing, a smile was brought out across his face, and the horse seemed to respond to his expression, leaning down further until his entire face was practically pressed against Shen Yuan's torso.

Chen Qiang stepped forward slowly, only to receive a displeased huff from Xiao Yingzi, the horse kicking up the hay and dirt beneath his hooves as he threw around his head agitatedly, still keeping a careful composure around Shen Yuan. "This one thinks that Xiao Yingzi is friendly enough for this humble servant."

Chen Qiang looked at him skeptically but otherwise nodded, speaking in a slow and controlled manner as he backed away enough until the horse ceased its fussing. "It seems so," taking a moment to look between the small teenager and the larger-than-normal horse, Chen Qiang could almost laugh at the irony. "If Shen Yuan can take care of him, he's your horse then. He is of no use anywhere else, otherwise, we'll sell him come summer."

Shen Yuan instinctively reached up and held Xiao Yingzi's face, a fearful expression that he wasn't aware of causing his nose to scrunch and his lips to purse. "This one will take care of him. Chen-ye doesn't have to worry about Xiao Yingzi anymore."

Cheng Qiang noticed the expression but otherwise did nothing about it. Nodding, he said this as he turned away and headed inside. "Shen Yuan will go to the east market today; this lord will leave the list with Meng Lian so she may add whatever else is necessary. Take Xiao Yingzi with you."

Petting Xiao Yingzi's snout gently, Shen Yuan said, "This one will do as Chen-ye says."

Once Chen Qiang had left, Shen Yuan let out a heavy breath.

It had gotten no easier to be around the man. No matter how Chen Qiang's attitude toward him had changed now that he was better behaved, the very presence of the brothel master always left the hairs on the back of his neck standing up straight.

His muscles were sore from constantly tensing around him and his friends, his lungs ached with the need to breathe fresh air that was not polluted by the stench of wine and herbal teas, his head ached from their combined scents constantly being around him, and his skin burned and cracked from the way his nails had constantly scraped over every expanse of skin he could reach when he bathed, desperate to rid his very being of even the slightest evidence of their presence.

He hadn't noticed until a few nights ago, but there were scabs on his arms now, and his legs. He never reminded himself to trim his nails, and the bath water washed away whatever blood he drew from his scratching before he could see it.

It didn't bother him until Bai Daiyu noticed. When she had been braiding his hair for bed, she had caught the faint scabs and red marks on his shoulders and had promptly fretted and worried over him until he was able to convince her that it was merely an accident. That the scabs on his shoulders were the only ones, that it had been from his lack of care when washing off a stain of some sort on his skin, that there were no others, and as such, no other reason for her to worry.

He didn't want to lie to her, but he couldn't bear the thought of worrying her even more. It was such a strange feeling to have, a bleak numbness that encompassed his entire soul until he was around her. He didn't care for the scrapes or bruises that were self-inflicted; he didn't care when Chen Qiang glared at him sternly and even hit him on the side of his face to get his attention sometimes. It didn't bother him when he burned his hand on the stove, or when he saw one of the brothel sisters crying.

But hadn't he always been like this? Cold-hearted and unapproachable? Hadn't he scared away the disciples and his sect siblings with his cold nature? Didn't people used to call him Xue Yan: Snowy Eyes? Because of the way he used to look at everyone and everything with such a cold expression of indifference and impassive cruelty.

He had heard the disciples call him that more than a few times, though they would always clam shut the second they realized he could hear them. But he never cared much to stop them, he knew the truth, he was unapproachable and rather startling, he didn't care much that they didn't feel comfortable around him, he wasn't searching for their validation. He stayed away from them; from everyone, and as such, he expected them to do the same for him.

There truly had been only one disciple of his who didn't stay away from him.

That young boy had smiled at him, even when Shen Yuan stared down at him impassively. When he did not speak, he spoke enough for both of them. When he only handed out assignments with truly little emotion in his voice, that boy would stick by his side and do whatever he was told while Shen Yuan read his books or scrolls, and then would proudly show off his progress thereafter.

Even when that young boy returned from Shen Qingqiu, bloody and bruised, Shen Yuan did nothing to console him. Only leaving after a quick instruction to clean his wounds before resting in the room connected to the outside of his cottage, that young boy would do his best to smile and obey the order without complaint when his Shifu would leave, only to return a few hours later covering his mouth and with an aggrieved expression, never giving even so much as a few words of explanation.

Even when that young boy stopped smiling, when the punishments didn't stop no matter what he did, and when Shen Yuan still only addressed him apathetically, he didn't stray too far. He still returned to that little room; Shen Yuan knew that he used the small bottles of medicine he had made sure to leave in there, but he stopped talking.

He would do his assignments, only he would do them away from Shen Yuan; preferably outside, before returning swiftly to show him his progress before leaving without so much as a hope for praise.

He loathed now to admit that he hadn't noticed the distance that boy had set between them. That his own soul was so used to the desolate abyss of darkness and loneliness, that to be abandoned by another person was almost second nature, and he only noticed his absence after that terrible night.

He had yelled and screamed, he had run with all of his might to the ledge, despite the ache in his limbs, despite his spiritual energy being completely depleted by the poison in his body. He hadn't been able to stop his brother, and he hadn't been able to stop his fall.

It was only sometime after, when he awakened after a terrible night of restless sleep without having once left his cottage, and he hadn't heard that young man practicing outside, that he finally left his little cottage and knocked on the door to that little room outside. It was only when that door creaked open to reveal a desolate and empty room that he remembered, and that his heart finally reacted.

"Tianyan...Xiao-shixiong, please. He's not here, come inside, please." Shang Qinghua begged him, urging him toward his cottage gently. His hands were like chains around Shen Tianyan's wrists, but he still fought against them. "You haven't slept, go inside, please go inside."

His head was pounding. He hadn't found Luo Binghe in his room, or inside the cottage, and he knew that he wasn't in any of his lessons in the academic hall. Ning Yingying would have come to retrieve him if he had been. So, he had to be out here, perhaps he was practicing with Zheng Yang again.

But it was too late at night for that, or was it morning? He couldn't tell anymore; all he knew was that it was either too late or too early for him to be practicing at such a time. Luo Binghe was still a young man, and he needed his rest. What was he doing practicing out here at such a time? Didn't he know that his body would tire eventually? What if he fell asleep out here and caught a cold?

"He could get hurt..." Shen Tianyan's voice was raspier than sandpaper, and the sound made the shackles of hands on his wrists release in both shock and horror. "I just...this one will bring him inside first...then I'll go to sleep."

He walked faster than he should have, his legs ached, his right side burned, and he looked around for that young man, only to stumble on an unearthed mound in the ground. He looked down, prepared to kick at the dirt to even it out, only to find the hilt of that familiar sword sticking out of the ground, with a small headstone behind it that read the name "Luo Binghe."

"...Qinghua...what—."

Arms wrapped around him from behind, a chin pressed against his shoulder, and the grounding voice of his only friend shocked him out of his daze. "Tianyan...he's been gone for months now. It has been months, you're still in seclusion, remember?"

"...Why?"

"You're hurt, Xiao-shixiong. You've been hurt for a while now. The poison is getting worse, you need to rest now..." Shang Qinghua's voice was the only anchor he had in the sea in which he was drowning.

But within that sea, he still searched for the bright moon to lead him back, perhaps even praying for the sun to rise and brighten the night sky. Whatever was left of his voice was warbled, and a strange expression that made the skin around his mouth stretch and ache darkened his eyes. "He...I'm his Shifu...I need—."

"He's not coming back, Tianyan." Shang Qinghua sighed; a hand reached up to rub at his wrists. "You need to go inside, just sleep, no one will come anymore. Just sleep, Xiao-shixiong."

The memory came and went like the passing of the winds. Shen Yuan found himself shivering at the vivid memory, but the grounding touch of Xiao Yingzi against his palm brought his mind back to the present. I really was a terrible Shifu, wasn't I? For a moment, he found himself frowning deeply at the memories.

No matter how he looked at it, Luo Binghe's blackening...the darkness that grew inside him...who could be to blame but Shen Yuan explicitly? There had been so much more he could have done.

He may have yelled at his brother for the abuse, he may have torn his throat up until he was unable to speak for a few days from ordering and fighting with Shen Qingqiu to cease the torment, but he still could have done something else. Perhaps if he had told Luo Binghe the truth of his condition, maybe even giving the young man permission to defend himself and fight back, and allowed Shen Yuan to take the heat afterward, or even had asked one of the other peak lords to take him on as their disciple instead, it all could have been avoided.

But he had been selfish...hadn't he? Even though he didn't want his soulmates, even though he had never planned to tell them the truth, that traitorous heart inside of his chest, that stupid, stupid little boy hidden within his soul, still couldn't bear to part.

Terrible Shifu, terrible, terrible, terrible.

Sighing heavily, he pressed his face to the horse's snout. "It's always been this way...hasn't it?" The horse huffed at him, pounding its hooves against the ground impatiently. "You truly do seem to remember me, old friend."

Shen Yuan opened the gate to his stall, letting the larger-than-life creature venture out into the stable as he waited for Shen Yuan to grab his saddle and reins. The boy worked swiftly, preparing Xiao Yingzi before filling the side pocket of the saddle with food for the horse. He took him by the reins and led him outside, fastening the reins to the fence before heading inside to grab the list and money pouch.

"Are you heading out already, Yuan-er?" Meng Lian called to him, catching the boy just as he was about to leave. "Make sure you're back soon, and be careful with that horse of yours, I don't know what you did to calm the thing, but he can be viscous."

"This one will be careful, Lian-Ayi." Shen Yuan stated as he left, going swiftly so as not to be stopped again. He unfastened Xiao Yingzi's reins and climbed onto his saddle. With a click of his tongue, Xiao Yingzi trotted past the gate, and the two made a slow approach to the entrance before Shen Yuan nudged the horse's sides gently and clicked his tongue.

"To the east," Shen Yuan ordered, and without fail, Xiao Yingzi followed his lead.

The way there hadn't been overly crowded, nor had it taken all that long. But Shen Yuan found himself already growing weary of the crowd they came upon, bustling streets and loud hagglers, women gossiped with each other at their shops and stalls, and many of the men gathered around in circles as they talked and laughed loudly.

"...This is worse than the brothel." Shen Yuan murmured under his breath, feeling rather than hearing Xiao Yingzi snort in agreement. "We'll be quick about this," petting the horse's side, Shen Yuan urged him forward, where a few merchants and their carts entered the market.

A few people stared at him, some more focused on the beast he rode upon rather than the boy himself, but others actually spared a glance at him, only to stare for longer than Shen Yuan felt comfortable with. He had gotten rid of all of his old outfits, as per Chen Qiang's orders, and ever since then, he had only been wearing high collars and conservative robes that left practically nothing uncovered.

Yet at that very moment, he felt even more exposed than he would have if he had been wearing those gauzy things.

What were they all staring at him for?

"Young gongzi! Young gongzi!" Hearing the shouting, Shen Yuan looked around to see who the haggler was yelling at. Only for Xiao Yingzi to rear up onto his hind legs, squealing and grunting angrily as the merchant jumped in front of the creature.

Shen Yuan shouted as he clutched the reins, kicking the horse's side to bring him back down as he leaned forward and did his best to soothe the beast. "Calmly now, easy Xiao Yingzi." Shen Yuan urged him down, petting his face as he reached back and fed the horse some sugar cubes.

Once Xiao Yingzi was calm, Shen Yuan peered around the horse's shoulders to see the man who had caused such a fuss, only to find that he was no longer in front of him. "Ah, young gongzi!" Startling, and with Xiao Yingzi grunting in aggravation and kicking out his legs, Shen Yuan whirled around to the man who had nearly gotten a hoof to the face.

"Stop that!" Shen Yuan hissed, once again having to lean forward to soothe his steed, all the while the horse grunted and stomped his hooves at the ground, just as annoyed as the boy who rode on his back.

The merchant who had snuck up on them twice, now clutching at his chest after having narrowly escaped two potential life-threatening displays from the horse, smiled sheepishly at the boy who glared down at him. "Young gongzi, this old man apologizes! Don't be angry!" Despite his apology, Shen Yuan turned away from him and clicked his tongue to urge Xiao Yingzi away. Surprised and somewhat disgruntled at having been nearly kicked by such a beast and then promptly ignored by the owner, the merchant chased after them, sticking closer to the side this time. "Wait, wait! Young gongzi! This Laotou merely saw that he had such a fine steed and thought that surely the young gongzi would prefer to see some of the finer parts of the market!"

Shen Yuan didn't spare him a second glance. He knew of these types of vendors; they'd rob you blind if you fell for their lies. They were without morals or honor, and he had no reason to entertain the extravagancies that this man was trying to offer him. "This humble servant thanks the Laobo for his generosity, but he has been sent out with instructions already, and will not cause his lord to wait any longer than necessary."

"What an obedient young man, then! Surely your lord wouldn't mind allowing such a fine young gongzi to peruse for a short while?" Shen Yuan did not miss the way that he continued to call him "gongzi" but otherwise preferred to ignore it. "The eastern market is famous for its delicious foods and wondrous sights! Shouldn't the young man take the opportunity to broaden his horizons?"

Do I need to say it outright for him to understand? What is it with these kinds of people and being unable to take a hint? Shen Yuan huffed and jostled slightly when Xiao Yingzi copied him, just as disgruntled and annoyed with this man as him, and for a moment, Shen Yuan thought that Xiao Yingzi would try to kick at him again.

"This one is not to doddle, many thanks for the offer, but no thank you." Shen Yuan stated coldly, clicking his tongue to spur Xiao Yingzi further until the man was left in the crowd.

When he was finally left to his own thoughts and left with nothing to do but think and look around for the shops and stands on Chen Qiang's list, Shen Yuan couldn't help but compare the interaction to one he had in his past life.

"Little one! Didn't this Laobo tell you to stay over here?" The man who yelled at him smelled drunk. He had to be drunk; his breath reeked of wine, and Shen Yuan, Shen Shi, couldn't stand to be anywhere near him without crinkling his nose in disdain.

However, raised as he was, he knew to be polite to any customer, no matter how arrogant. "This one apologizes, Laobo...but this one has chores to do. Can I bring him anything else beforehand? I could ask one of my Jiejies to help him instead?" Shen Shi was rather timid, unable to just walk away and let the man cause a fuss in fear of Chen Qiang getting upset with him for it later.

The man scoffed at him, sliding his empty bottle of wine over at Shen Shi, nearly causing it to fall off the table if not for the boy's reflexes. However, when Shen Shi caught the bottle before it could fall off the table, the man grabbed him by his shoulders and yanked him to sit with him again, entirely too close if the stench of a drunkard was anything to go off of.

"There, see how much easier that is? No reason for Shi-er to act so timid and wander off!" His arm was stuck around Shen Shi's shoulders, and the boy felt like gagging from the smell of him.

He hated customers like this. Normally, Yu-jie was here to help him, pull him away, and have him do some of his other chores while she dealt with the patrons. But she was with Chen Qiang at the moment.

He wasn't entirely sure of what they did together, but from some of the vague things that some of the other Jiejies had said around him over the years—things that Bai Daiyu had scolded them harshly for—he had some semblance of an idea.

He didn't particularly like that idea.

"Why has Shi-er gone so quiet, hm?" The man leaned down to nose at his hair, and Shen Shi flinched as that terrible smell got closer to him, the arm around his shoulders tightening uncomfortably.

He didn't understand men like this. Why they always tried to hug him or nose at his hair? It was always the drunk ones, too, the Alphas, that always smelled terrible to him and reeked of cheap alcohol. Sometimes, there were a few nice ones who only asked him to play a song for them as they drank and sat next to him. They never tried to touch him or play with his hair; instead always slurred out some form of a compliment that Shen Shi knew to thank them for.

He didn't mind those patrons, even though they didn't smell that good, and sometimes his fingers would get sore from playing so much. But he didn't like these customers, the ones who hugged him and played with his hair when they smelled like this. It always seemed to be the same people, too, even when they weren't drunk and didn't smell of cheap alcohol, they always called him too affectionate names and treated him too affectionately.

He didn't know them; he didn't like them enough to let them.

Sometimes he didn't even like it when Yu-jie tried to hug him afterward, when she smiled at him and tried to do his hair. Sometimes that terrible smell seemed to follow him, and even her touch didn't feel...right.

"Hey," the man pinched his cheeks, and Shen Shi tried to stifle back a pained whine. Chen Qiang had just hit him there yesterday because he had messed up, and it still hurt. "This Laobo asked you a question, aren't you listening?"

Before he could answer, another hand grabbed his arm and yanked him away. The grip hurt; it clamped around the bruises already on his arm, and he had to bite his tongue to keep from crying.

Chen Qiang got upset with him when he cried.

Looking up, Shen Shi froze when he saw that very man. Glaring down at the man he had been sitting with before, looking further down at Shen Shi. "Shen Shi." When he called him, the boy did his best to stand straight. But his arm was still held in a vice grip, and it still hurt, so it was wobbly at best. "Go outside, you have a lesson."

Shen Shi deflated at the statement. He had just had a lesson yesterday, and he didn't think that his pipa skills had improved in less than a day. "Yes, Chen-ye." When the brothel master let him go, he wasted no time in hurrying away, faltering only when he heard the customer start yelling.

"Hey, I wasn't—."

Crack.

Shen Shi stopped dead in his tracks, as did the rest of the lively main hall. The drunkard who had started to yell held his burning cheek, staring up at the brothel master with a dazed expression.

"Get out. Now." Chen Qiang growled, grabbing the man by the collar of his robes and dragging him outside.

Shen Shi didn't understand what he had just seen, but he wasn't able to ask any questions before a gentle hand took hold of his, and he looked back to see Bai Daiyu pulling him away.

He didn't know if he liked her touch either.

But he didn't understand what had just happened either.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid little boy." Shen Yuan grumbled under his breath at the memory.

He had been fourteen at the time, how had he not known? How could he have ever questioned Chen Qiang at the time? Why had he been so damn stupid!? Xiao Yingzi grunted, breaking him out of his thoughts and silencing his muttering. Petting the horse's neck, he murmured. "Don't mind this one, Xiao Yingzi..." Pausing, he looked around before steering the steed over to one of the stalls. "This one...really just was a stupid kid."

When he stopped at the stall, he made his purchase quickly, crossing off the items he procured from his list before carrying on. But the entire time, he couldn't help the urge to just smack himself, whether it be here and now or somehow go back in time and whap that idiot kid on the head. No wonder Chen Qiang never let me leave. He would have been sending out a liability.

Had he been too harsh in his hatred in his past life? Ever since he had joined Cang Qiong, he would have cursed and spat upon Chen Qiang's grave for over a hundred years if given the chance. The very thought of the brothel master used to make his stomach drop and his jaw ache, but now, he saw everything from a new, broader light. Could he really blame Chen Qiang for his strictness? Or how harsh he was in his punishments and scoldings?

Shen Yuan had been a stupid and naïve kid. He was so idiotic that he caused more problems than he fixed; he likely gave his poor Yu-jie gray hairs twenty years too early, and he used to be so physically frail that the other brothel Jiejies were too scared to even touch him, just in case they might hurt him.

Who could blame Chen Qiang for punishing him? It was true that the man was a bit too harsh with the brothel women, Bai Daiyu especially at times, but could Shen Yuan really hate him for how he had treated him back then? Even now, now that Shen Yuan had fixed himself and his behavior and stopped being a hindrance, the most Chen Qiang had done was slap his shoulder or his jaw to get his attention.

All this time...it really had been my fault, hadn't it? Shen Yuan thought to himself with a bitter laugh, his hand instinctively reaching up to thumb at his neck, half expecting to feel the sting of a wound that would never heal.

Only to find nothing. That wound wasn't there, and it would never be there again.

Pursing his lips, he lowered his hand to tighten around the reins. Too many problems I caused back then. Chen Qiang...I can't blame you anymore; you really had no other choice, I was too stupid. Sighing, he tugged Xiao Yingzi to the right, pulling out his list as he searched through the vendors' items until he marked off what was needed from his list and handed over the necessary amount.

As Xiao Yingzi followed his lead further into the market, Shen Yuan came to a resolution deep within himself. I won't be a hindrance this time around. There won't be any need for it to happen again. Chen Qiang...Yu-jie, neither of you will have to worry anymore, I won't cause any problems.

He would still get Bai Daiyu out of the brothel, and he would make sure the other Jiejies could leave, but until then, he wouldn't stir up any trouble. Chen Qiang wouldn't have any reason to be cross with him, and as such wouldn't have to pay more attention to Bai Daiyu than necessary.

Clicking his tongue, he hurried Xiao Yingzi along the path. Their time in the eastern market could have been more uneventful, aside from a few vendors pestering him. Once he had procured everything from Chen Qiang's list, he wasted no time in hurrying back to the brothel, even letting Xiao Yingzi stretch and exercise his legs with a heavy sprint that nearly made Shen Yuan's hair come out of its tight bun.

He entered through the courtyard, dismounting from Xiao Yingzi as he grabbed the bag from the saddle. Once the horse was back inside the stable and properly fed and watered, Shen Yuan hurried inside to leave what he had bought in the kitchen with Meng Lian.

Only to find Chen Qiang there instead.

"Chen-ye," Shen Yuan greeted him with a low bow, straightening only when the man walked forward. "This one was able to find everything on Chen-ye's list." He extended the bag to the brothel master; however, the man barely took a look at it before setting it on the counter as he came nearly toe to toe with Shen Yuan.

"Shen Yuan, do you know when you are to be back from your chores outside of the estate?" Chen Qiang's question was cold, perhaps even accusatory, but Shen Yuan merely straightened at the tone, rather than cowering from it.

"This one is to return before nightfall and with enough time to finish the rest of his chores and lessons." Shen Yuan repeated the rule stated to him by Chen Qiang himself. Looking outside, it was getting closer to the end of the day, but the days were also getting shorter recently; he still had plenty of time to finish the rest of his chores and lessons before he had to go to bed.

He thought he had made the right choice from his reasoning when a sharp crack sounded in the air. His neck had popped from the impact, and he could feel tears stinging in his eyes. The skin that had been struck burned, a red imprint of a hand marred his cheek, and he looked up slowly at the man who glared down at him.

"How long was Shen Yuan gone for?" Chen Qiang questioned him, circling him like a vulture circled its prey, and Shen Yuan wanted to kick himself when he felt the way his hands began to tremble.

Clutching them behind his back, and keeping as even a tone as possible, Shen Yuan put on his strongest face as he said, "This lowly servant was gone for a least six hours, Chen-ye."

"Exactly," suddenly, a hand was grasping his jaw, and he was led to look the man dead in the eyes. "A simple run to the market should not have taken Shen Yuan so long; he has only just earned this privilege. Does he wish for it to be taken away just as swiftly?"

A cold sense of dread settled over him, but he forced himself to keep an impassive expression. It wasn't wrong for Chen Qiang to threaten to take away his privilege of leaving the brothel; it had only been in the past few months that he had started to prove himself responsible enough to go out alone. The brothel master had at least nearly three years' worth of proof that Shen Yuan was too naïve and useless to be trusted alone; any sign of an oncoming slip was enough to warrant his immediate reconsideration.

It was Shen Yuan's fault.

"This one didn't mean for it to take so long, Chen-ye." Shen Yuan said, keeping his back ramrod straight as he looked the man in the eye. "This lowly servant ran into a few...unmannerly vendors, they bothered Xiao Yingzi a bit, and it took this one some time to find the right stalls and shops without running into those men."

At the mention of the vendors, Chen Qiang's expression seemed to darken even more, and for a moment, Shen Yuan thought that the brothel master was upset that he had given any sort of excuse. Scoffing, Chen Qiang released his hold on the boy's jaw, clicking his tongue irritably. "Inappropriate bastards," he looked down at Shen Yuan again, expression thoughtful as he jutted his chin down toward the floor. The boy followed his silent orders swiftly, kneeling before the man without hesitation or fuss. "This lord cannot blame Shen Yuan for those brutes..."

He began to circle the boy again before stopping behind him, staring down directly where only a sliver of the pale skin of Shen Yuan's neck could be seen above his high collar. "However, Shen Yuan understands that he is still at fault for his impoliteness?"

"This one understands, Chen-ye. This humble servant apologizes sincerely." Shen Yuan's head was bowed, so he couldn't see the pleased gleam in Chen Qiang's eye, nor the dreadful smirk that pulled at his lips before the brothel master schooled his expression.

"Very well, seeing as this is Shen Yuan's first offense, this lord will be merciful." He motioned for Shen Yuan to stand, and the boy followed his command quickly. "Roll up your sleeves."

Doing as told, Shen Yuan rolled up his sleeves tightly so they wouldn't fall, and instinctively held out his wrists. Despite himself, he took a deep breath when he saw Chen Qiang unsheathe the ruler from his robes, however, he was quite used to pain. In the past life, his body had practically been chronically in pain, some lashes from the ruler wouldn't do much in comparison.

However, just as he reasoned this with himself, the first strike came down directly against the small and not yet matured scent gland of his left wrist.

It burned like fire.

He pierced his tongue with his canines to keep himself quiet. He didn't shake, and he didn't cry. Keeping his eyes trained on the ground, he tried to distract himself with the shape the blood droplets took when they fell to the floor.

A moon.

A flower.

A rabbit.

A crane.

Despite himself, his vision soon began to blur, and he internally cursed himself for the tears that stung his eyes. What was he doing crying? This was merciful in comparison to what Chen Qiang could have done. He had faced so much worse than this. He had died worse than this. Yet here he was, starting to cry?

How shameless of him. He had broken a rule, and Chen Qiang had taken the courtesy to be benevolent; action equates to consequence. There was nothing more to this than a master having to teach the one under his care and leadership from right and wrong; it was the same as being a teacher. If you just let people run wild and uncontrolled, there would be chaos.

He wouldn't blame Chen Qiang for this; it was his fault. He had caused a problem, and as such, had to pay for his crimes.

He had faced worse than this; he had been hurt worse than this, and Shen Yuan did nothing. Luo Binghe used to walk back to that small room covered in cuts and bruises from head to toe, and yet he still pushed on, what right did Shen Yuan have to cry over something as small as this? That day...Liu Qingge likely faced worse than this as well, who knew what happened to him after what Shen Yuan had done?

He had caused problems, and as such, he was merely paying for his sins.

"Shen Yuan," he hadn't realized it was over until Shen Yuan opened his eyes. A single tear fell into the small puddle of blood at his feet, but the rest were stubbornly held back as Shen Yuan raised his head to look at the brothel master with a controlled expression. "Do you understand what you have done wrong?"

If his voice was warbled, or if any other tears fell from his eyes, neither Chen Qiang nor Shen Yuan commented on it as Shen Yuan said, "This one knows exactly, Chen-ye. He is at fault, and he will take responsibility." 

Chapter Text

“A-Yuan,” when she looked into the stable, she couldn’t help but shriek when she saw Xiao Yingzi out of his stall, and with Shen Yuan grooming him. “Ah, I forgot that Yingzi seems to like you...” Her poor heart was about to stop! It was almost comical to see such a large horse being cared for by such a small boy! Not to mention, Shen Yuan was the only one he liked!

Ah, well, Xiao Yingzi definitely won’t let anything happen to A-Yuan in town at least.

Shen Yuan looked over his shoulder at her, and she couldn’t help the pinch in her smile when she saw that fading bruise on his cheek. It had been over a week, and it still hadn’t fully healed, and neither had the cuts on his wrists, which had started to darken and bruise around the cuts, adding to the injury.

She had all but tried to storm after Cheng Qiang when Shen Yuan returned from the east market, a fresh welt on his cheek and still-bleeding cuts on his wrists. However, Shen Yuan had wrapped his arms around her and all but begged her not to, saying again and again, “Jiejie, it’s my fault, it was my fault, don’t get upset.”

His fault…

Who could tell a child that being beaten was their fault? What could a child do to warrant such punishments? What child deserved to be attacked by a grown man? What child deserved to be locked up in a dark and cold cellar?

If there was such a child, she didn’t know them, and they certainly weren’t her sweet little butterfly.

“Did Jiejie need something from this Yuan?” He turned around fully to face her, his sleeves rolled up to reveal the bandages on his hands, and Bai Daiyu had to force her smile to relax, lest her intelligent little boy catch onto her grief.

“No, no, this Jiejie merely wanted to check on A-Yuan.” She didn’t dare to venture much closer. While Xiao Yingzi seemed docile around Shen Yuan, she remembered vividly the few times she had drawn too close to the beast, and his teeth had tried to take a bite out of her clothes. “Since he hasn’t had to do his chores in the main hall, this Jiejie misses her little butterfly!”

Shen Yuan had only made it a day of serving tea and cleaning up in the main hall before a regular raised a fuss over the welt on his face. The noblewoman all but demanded to speak with the brothel master so she could learn who would damage her little Yuan-er’s face and speak with the perpetrator herself.

It had taken Bai Daiyu, Meng Lian, and Shen Yuan coaxing and trying to placate the customer for the woman to take her seat once again and hear them out. Her little butterfly had come up with a decoy story rather quickly, claiming that when he had gone to the market the day before, his horse had bucked him off the saddle and he had fallen onto the ground face first.

Of course, it didn’t do much to calm the patron, but she had stopped exclaiming and raising a fuss over demanding to find the one responsible and ring their neck as compensation. Once Chen Qiang had caught wind of the fuss from Madam Wang, he had ordered Shen Yuan to stay away from his duties in the main hall, away from the customers, until the visible wounds healed.

In a strange and sick way, Bai Daiyu almost wished that Shen Yuan would have continued to do his chores in the main hall, allowing everyone there to see the kind of man Chen Qiang was.

The kind of man that beat a harmless and defenseless child over…what had it been? Being a little late getting back from the market? A place he had been sent out to alone, a place over an hour’s ride away from the estate, and a place he had never once been to before.

Her anger was still yet satisfied as her temperament was still yet cooled. But her little boy hadn’t come to her upset about any of it, nor had he cried once in either pain or confusion as he might have before…before what? Before the day she woke him up in the cellar after he made a mistake in his pipa lessons? No, that couldn’t be it. Before he had suddenly changed from day to night and become this…this different person?

But he wasn’t different, was he?

He was a little more reserved around others; he showed less of himself, and he seemed…almost guarded. But around her, around the other Jiejies, he smiled; if only slightly. He spoke up more, seemed a bit bolder, and came to her out of his own free will. Her little butterfly…he had changed, but was this change such a bad thing?

Shen Yuan smiled softly at her statement, patting Xiao Yingzi gently before he ventured over and happily received and reciprocated her embrace. “This Yuan missed his Jiejie too…” No…No, this change wasn’t all bad.

She lowered her head to kiss his temple, gently thumbing the slowly fading bruise on his cheek. “This Jiejie has a favor to ask of her little butterfly.”

Shen Yuan looked up at her dutifully, utter adoration and loyalty shining in his eyes like fireflies in midnight woods. Such beautiful eyes, my sweet little boy, you look at me in such a way, but do you know just how I adore you? Unable to control herself, she leaned down again to kiss both of his eyes, grinning a little wider when she saw the way her boy’s face scrunched, nose crinkling as he screwed his eyes shut in a pout.

“What does Jiejie need?” Shen Yuan asked after a moment, a single eye open as he indulgently allowed Bai Daiyu to dote on him.

She hummed softly, looking past Shen Yuan to Xiao Yingzi who was slowly digging his hooves into the ground, clearly impatient and annoyed that Shen Yuan was no longer showing him affection. You can wait your turn you greedy horse! He was my little butterfly first, he definitely loves me more too! Xiao Yingzi seemed to sense her smack talk and promptly threw his head around with an annoyed whine.

Shen Yuan turned to look at the horse and said cooly, “Wait for a moment, Yingzi, Jiejie needs me first.” Turning his back on the boy, the horse continued to dig into the ground with an annoyed huff.

Ha! Take that, you stubborn thing! Jiejie: 1, Xiao Yingzi: 0!

Clearing her throat and once again regaining Shen Yuan’s attention, Bai Daiyu made her request. “This one needs a few things from the market, as do the other Jiejies. It shouldn’t take A-Yuan too long, and none of the things should be hard to find.”

Nodding, Shen Yuan looked over at Xiao Yingzi and clicked his tongue. The horse answered the call immediately, whining excitedly as he came closer. “This one will take Yingzi with him; he has been upset that we haven’t left the estate recently.”

Scoffing, Bai Daiyu couldn’t help but roll her eyes. “This Jiejie thinks that A-Yuan is spoiling him.” Ignoring the huff of annoyance from the beast, she crossed her arms. “You’ll have to deal with a stubborn horse and a brat all at once, A-Yuan. Perhaps you should be a bit more strict.”

Shen Yuan chuckled at her statement, shaking his head. “Even Jiejie is not strict with me, why should I be strict with Yingzi? He is a good horse, he isn’t stubborn with me and causes no problems, doesn’t Jiejie say it is okay to spoil those you care for?”

Laughing without a shred of humor, Bai Daiyu gestured to the horse mockingly. “A-Yuan, it’s a horse!” She said. “Besides, I’m not strict on my little butterfly because he gives me no reason to be! My A-Yuan is so well-behaved and so very sweet, I would be an awful Jiejie if I were strict!”

“Just as this one would be a terrible friend to Yingzi if I were strict.” Shen Yuan countered. “He gives me no reason to be harsh on him, and he is very understanding and sweet, shouldn’t I dote on him?”

Shaking her head, Bai Daiyu only sighed. A-Yuan, my sweet little boy, that horse is only sweet with you! He would much rather bite and kick at everyone else!

“Very well, A-Yuan. This Jiejie concedes!” She said dramatically, reaching into her sleeve to retrieve the list she and the other brothel sisters had written out for him. “Here is the list A-Yuan. Does he need another money pouch?”

“No, Jiejie.” Taking the list, he scanned it over once, then twice, before tucking it away and reaching over to grab Xiao Yingzi’s saddle. “This one still has money left over from when Chen-ye sent me out a few days ago. It should be more than enough.”

He fastened the saddle and the bags snugly, making sure it wasn’t too tight as he reached for the reins, patting the dust off of them before fastening them to the harness. When he looked behind him again, prepared to see a calm expression on his Jiejie’s face, he flinched when he saw the deep chasm of her lips and the furrow of her brows.

Jiejie…did I upset you as well last time? I know you were a little upset with Chen Qiang when I returned…did you realize it was my fault after all? Steeling his expression, Shen Yuan reached into the saddle bag and made sure that he had the money pouch before fastening it closed as he ventured closer to his Jiejie.

“This one will make sure not to cause any problems like last time, Jiejie.” Bowing deeply, he said this resolutely, trying to shake his sleeves out discreetly so they would hide the bandages he still wore. “Neither you nor Chen-ye will have any reason to be disappointed in this Yuan.”

He was expecting acceptance; however, he was met with a distressed cry from the woman and was promptly led to stand straight in front of her. He still barely met her collarbones, so he had to crane his neck to look up at the unfairly tall woman. “A-Yuan! Don’t say things like that! What fault could you have for that?” She sounded distressed, and Shen Yuan felt his stomach sink as his heart clenched, and his very soul screeched in outrage against himself.

His distress at her tone clearly was noticeable as the woman sighed sadly and calmed herself, taking his face into her hands as she gently thumbed at the skin under his eyes. “This Jiejie could never be upset or disappointed with my sweet little butterfly, he did nothing wrong before, and he was punished unfairly.”

“But Jiejie, I–.”

“Hush.” Bai Daiyu silenced him quickly, her left thumb reaching down to cover his lips. “A-Yuan did nothing wrong; he shouldn’t think so lowly of himself. Chen Qiang is just…unfair sometimes.”

Unfair? Jiejie, I did deserve it. He’s never punished me when I haven’t deserved it.

“Jiejie…he only punishes me when I’ve done something wrong, it’s never unfair.” His rebuke seemed to only make the furrow his Bai Daiyu’s brow deepen, and he immediately regretted saying anything at all.

“What has A-Yuan done wrong?” Her question caught him off guard, and when he did not answer her immediately, she asked again. “My little butterfly, tell me, what have you done wrong that warrants the price of your blood and the bruises on your skin? What have you done wrong that could warrant locking you underground in a freezing cellar all day and all night? If you think yourself so despicable as to warrant such punishments, please tell me what you could have done?”

At her question, Shen Yuan froze. He…He didn’t know how to answer; it was like every memory he had of this life and his past life seemed to leave him. He knew he had done things wrong, that he had made dire mistakes, and that he deserved to face the consequences. But what sins could he tell her of that would not reveal himself and his past life? He knew that he had many pulling him down by the chains of guilt and repentance, but which ones could he explain to her as of now?

When he stayed quiet, Bai Daiyu pursed her lips, and her eyes saddened. The expression only made Shen Yuan feel worse, and his heart clenched painfully. He didn’t want to hurt his Jiejie, wasn’t that a sin enough? “I…I caused problems for Chen-ye.” He started slowly, the statement a little too vague, so he clarified. “I didn’t follow orders the way I should have, I wasn’t good in my lessons, and he had to teach me right from wrong. I also caused problems for Jiejie quite a lot…This one…I made Chen-ye get upset with Jiejie…She had to take the blame for my actions. I also acted immaturely, I almost caused worse problems, and Chen-ye had to step in.”

“Immaturely?” Her voice was a hoarse laugh, disbelieving, if not a little desperate. “A-Yuan, how could you act immaturely? You’re a child. You’ve always been a child.”

The statement felt like ice water being dumped on his head; his scalp felt numb, and he suddenly felt sick. Bai Daiyu noticed this and held his shoulders, saying resolutely, “My little butterfly, this one is to blame above all else.” He tried to argue, and his mouth opened, but Bai Daiyu raised her hand to silence him. “I should have noticed this change, and I should have prevented your mind from being corrupted by him. A-Yuan, my sweet little boy, you never asked for any of this. How could you be to blame? If you truly believe that what he does to you is fair and without unnecessary cruelty, tell me, would you do any of what he does to you, to someone else?”

The question pierced him through the heart; it hurt genuinely, and sudden memories came back to him unwillingly.

“Shifu! Shifu!” Ning Yingying cried for him, and Shen Tianyan turned on his heels to see the girl running at him full speed with tears in her eyes, whimpering and panting as she stopped before him, clutching his robes. “It’s A-Lou! Please Shifu! Please!”

Needing no other prompting, he nodded and pushed Ning Yingying to lead him. He kept up with her easily, despite the girl practically running to the academic hall, it was there she led him further through the building until they reached a lone and desolate room. “Shifu, please!” Was all she said as she grabbed Shen Tianyan’s hand and tugged him through the threshold despite the unnecessariness of it all.

When his eyes landed on a single figure, he thought for a moment that Luo Binghe was merely left bruised and beaten on the floor again, and he planned to merely carry the boy back himself. But as he stepped closer, and the talismans in the room ignited in response to his spiritual energy, he felt his mouth run dry.

Ning Yingying had long since been crying, clutching onto his side as she sniffled and searched for comfort that he could not give. However, Shen Tianyan only felt contempt and anger rise into his chest, a searing hot haze flew over his eyes, making the rims of his eyes redden as he said, “Ning Yingying, take him back to my residence. There is medicine in my room on the table, apply everything you can and I will do the rest once I return.”

Once his orders were given out, he stepped closer to the prone form of Luo Binghe, hesitantly lifting him from under his arms as he nodded for Ning Yingying to come over. A strange empathetic feeling washed over him, sympathy towards the pain that the boy was undoubtedly feeling. Lashes of all degrees marred his back, and Shen Tianyan felt his own skin burn at the sight.

He hadn’t noticed the dark, starry night eyes that peered up at him as he lifted Luo Binghe into his arms, helping to steady his weight before passing him off to Ning Yingying. He didn’t notice the way those eyes narrowed and darkened as Shen Tianyan did not look at him once. “Be sure to lay him on his stomach.” Was all Shen Tianyan said as he passed Ning Yingying the limp body.

The girl seemed to struggle for a moment, trying to find a good balance to keep as the center of gravity before she righted herself and smiled confidently. “This Yingying will do as Shifu says!” She nodded to him politely, but Shen Tianyan only stared as she and Luo Binghe slowly left his sight.

That searing hot anger returned, this time a blazing hot heat in place of his normally cool and composed demeanor. The skin on his back ached, as did his throat, but he ignored it all in favor of practically sprinting to the Bamboo House.

It was there Ming Fan met him, the young man tried to greet him, but Shen Tianyan merely shoved the young man away by his shoulders. Barging into the Bamboo House noisily, he nearly lost all composure and started yelling for his brother, but there was no need as Shen Qingqiu appeared before him.

“Tianyan, what are you doing–?” Whatever else he would have said was lost on him as a sharp and unexpected pain bloomed across his face. A red imprint of a hand was left on his cheek, and he was left staring in disbelief and cruel bemusement at the ragefully contorted face of his younger brother.

“Never. Touch. My. Disciple. Again.” Every word was said with a sharp tone and a cold hiss. For a moment, Shen Qingqiu only stared at him absentmindedly, almost believing his little brother to have gone mad. That is, until he remembered the punishment he dealt out earlier that day to that little beast.

He laughed cruelly, not daring to touch his own cheek in the off chance of showing weakness. His smile was like a thousand daggers, and Shen Tianyan felt the urge to hit him again. “Children need to learn their lessons, don’t they?”

Whatever was left of his sense, whatever was left of his willpower, vanished on the spot. “They can be taught without violence. Who said you need to beat children to get them to understand!? Who said that whipping a boy until he passed out from the pain was humane!? What kind of monster are you to treat an innocent boy like this!?” His throat burned, and a heavy metallic taste rose in his mouth, but he didn’t care. “Shen Qingqiu…Xiongzhang, you really are too cruel. What has he done? What has that boy ever done to you!? What has he done to deserve this!?”

He wasn’t sure what he had been expecting, however, when his jaw was seized by the bigger man, sharp nails digging into his skin, he didn’t flinch, he didn’t deter, and he only stared into the dark emerald eyes with a blazing fury, keeping his confidence going. There was a strange glint in his brother’s eyes, one he didn’t recognize, and one he couldn’t name. He seemed as though he wanted to say something, but thought otherwise of it, and instead released Shen Tianyan from his hold and turned away from him with his hands clasped behind his back.

“Xiongzhang? Who are you calling that name?” For a moment, Shen Tianyan couldn’t comprehend what his brother meant, and he was about to force out his question now that his brother’s back was turned, but his question was answered without him even saying it, only in that next moment. “I have no brother named Tianyan, I only had a little Didi that I named Yuan.”

The quip hurt. Genuinely hurt. His mouth gaped slightly. It had been years since he heard that name, for so long, he had thought that even his brothers had forgotten it. But it seemed that truly, they hadn’t. “Er-ge…”

“Who are you calling Er-ge?” Shen Qingqiu didn’t even glance at him, keeping his back turned. Though perhaps it was for the best, it meant that the Peak Lord didn’t see the blood staining Shen Tianyan’s lips. “Is your name Yuan, Tianyan? If you’re so concerned about that damn disciple of yours, then fine. I won’t teach him another thing, and then you won’t have to bother either of us.”

With that, Shen Qingqiu stormed off, leaving the Bamboo House through the back door, and Shen Tianyan was left wide-eyed as his tongue could barely utter, “...Gege…”

He didn’t notice the wetness on his face until Bai Daiyu’s hands were cupping his face again, wiping away his tears as she cooed to him. Forgetting his composure, he latched onto her and shook his head. “No-. N-No, Jiejie, I wouldn’t! I-I…I wouldn’t…” His sniffling only made her hug him tighter, cooing to him and comforting him as best she could.

“It’s okay, shh…My sweet little butterfly. I know, this Jiejie knows you would never hurt anyone. My boy is too kind, too good to do such cruel things, I know, I know.” Her cooing was met by harder sobbing, as though every grievance he had faced since he awakened was being forced out of him, just as every terrible memory from the past life came back to him all at the same time.

Jiejie…I may not have done it, but I let it happen. Is that not just as terrible? How can you say I am good? I’m not…Jiejie, I’m not.

“I’m not…I’m not…” Whatever he was trying to say wouldn’t come out; his voice was hoarse, and Bai Daiyu only shushed him and petted his head.

Bai Daiyu wiped his tears and kissed his head, saying, “Not what? My boy is so sweet and kind. He dotes on his Jiejie too much, truly. How will I ever let you go, hm? How will this Jiejie ever watch her little butterfly grow up? My heart will break once you’re grown and some lucky person comes to sweep you off your feet to steal you away from me.”

“I’ll never leave Jiejie…” Shen Yuan murmured, finally taking deep enough breaths to clear his throat. “This one will stay with Jiejie forever.” His arms wrapped around her tightly, and he nuzzled into her robes as he accepted her affection.

Bai Daiyu hummed at that, seemingly satisfied. “That’s alright then, this Jiejie is happy to have her A-Yuan for as long as possible.” She looked up for a moment and caught sight of Xiao Yingzi, watching the interaction almost skeptically, and she sighed to herself as she rubbed Shen Yuan’s back gently before leading the boy to look up at her. “Does A-Yuan still feel up for running this errand for me?”

Shen Yuan wiped his face, trying his best to make himself look presentable as he said, “This Yuan can still go, he can be back quickly.”

Bai Daiyu knelt before him so they were at eye level, she smiled and kissed his cheek as she smoothed out his hair. “Perfect, A-Yuan. Be back quickly, this Jiejie will make some sweet buns with Meng Lian then, we can have them as a treat when Shen Yuan returns.”

Shen Yuan nodded as he hurried over to Xiao Yingzi, climbed onto the horse's saddle, clicked his tongue, and led the horse out of the stable, sparing a single glance over his shoulder at the woman who smiled and waved to him. He tried not to think any more of what Bai Daiyu said, the ache in his chest far too great, and the reddened rims of his eyes burned and threatened to spill the tears left unshed if he continued down his train of thought.

He pulled out the list and scanned it over again. The market in town was less populated and busy, so it took him no time to find what he needed. He only stopped once when a kind granny started fussing over him once he dismounted from Xiao Yingzi. “Oh, you poor little dear! Let this granny get you some treats as well, look at how skinny you are!”

Shen Yuan tried to ignore the quip, merely storing away the rouge he bought from the elderly woman as he said, “It’s no problem, Laopo. This one doesn’t wish to bother.” Her husband who stood at the stall with her only waved his hand and laughed good-naturedly.

“Ah, love this little one is so polite!” The old man reached over to pinch his cheeks, and Shen Yuan felt a little too embarrassed to try and stop him. “Little gongzi should meet our grandson, perhaps teach some manners to that Xiaozi! You would be a good influence on him, wouldn’t you?”

“Ah…Laobo, please I-.” Before he could even say more, a fresh plum was practically shoved into his mouth. He reared back as he took a bite, pulling the rest out of his mouth as he tried not to choke.

“There we are, it’s not much, but little gongzi should eat a little more!” The sweet old granny said as she and her husband nodded, the old man even went on about Shen Yuan meeting their own grandson.

Shen Yuan could only watch with a blank expression, his eyes still sore from his bout of crying earlier. What is it with elderly people and shoving food into people’s mouths? Shen Yuan chose to just ignore it. This elderly couple meant no harm and truly were just trying to be kind to him, so he made sure to finish his plum in front of them and bowed to them as he gave his thanks.

It was only then that he heard one of the other shopkeepers come over, laughing and excited as she stopped next to the elderly woman and spoke hushedly; however, Shen Yuan could still hear her clearly. “Didi Laopopo hear? There are two cultivators from one of the great four sects in town!”

Shen Yuan immediately turned away from such gossip, only giving a polite nod to the elderly man as he left. Whatever cultivators were here could come and go as they pleased; he didn’t care much to see who was here. He was half certain that it was likely someone from Huan Hua Palace anyway, seeing as the sect's territory was closer by than any of the other sects.

He made sure to pick up the pace as he hurried around the market. The days truly were getting shorter, and he didn’t want to risk getting in trouble again. So, the moment he had everything on his list, he hurriedly led Xiao Yingzi back to the estate.

It was only when they entered the courtyard that Shen Yuan heard it.

Shouting, screaming, and things breaking inside.

He didn’t even think to grab the bags from the saddle or put Xiao Yingzi back in the stable as he rushed inside. Things were strewn about, a few of the women were already running upstairs, but it was only one of them who tried to stop him. “Yuan-er no! Come upstairs quickly!”

“Where is Yu-jie!?”

The woman looked at him sadly, and he needed nothing to be said as he removed himself from her grip and continued further inside to where the loudest sounds were coming from. It was there in the main hall that he saw it. Madam Wang was screaming, furious, and terrified as she clutched Chen Qiang’s arms, desperate and practically begging as she tried to keep him away from the woman lying on the floor.

There was blood underneath that woman’s body; however, the rise and fall of her chest was still visible from where she lay on her side. But it did nothing to cool the rage that immediately flared to life in Shen Yuan’s heart at the sight. Bai Daiyu…

Why? What happened? Didn’t Chen Qiang care for her at all? He hadn’t done anything wrong recently! He had done everything right! He didn’t fight back, he didn’t cry, he didn’t make a sound, and he even let those disgusting friends of his call him whatever names they saw fit! Why? Why would he do this to her? What could he have done to make Chen Qiang so mad at both of them?

Suddenly, what Bai Daiyu said earlier to him that day came back to him, and his scalp went numb from a sick realization.

The brothel was decorated lavishly, there were many decorations on the walls, including two swords hung on the wall in the shape of an ‘X’. Shen Yuan grabbed one as he sprinted forward. He remembered this day now, it was similar to how it was now, only a little different. It started differently too.

It was on this day that Shen Shi learned just how cruel human nature could be. It was on this day that he had begged and screamed at Chen Qiang to leave his Jiejie alone, the only day he had ever fought back, the only day he had ever spoken up clearly and confidently, and didn’t cry.

It was the only day he had ever tried to run.

It was the day he learned the pain of a whip on the skin of his back. It was the day he learned just how skilled Chen Qiang was with that weapon, and just how cruel he could be when he wielded it. It was on this day that he learned that wounds from a whip did not hurt like other wounds; it burned greater and could cut deeper if the wielder so chose.

Chen Qiang chose to make them hurt. With every crack that resembled the thunder of a storm, Shen Shi learned that day that pain was something he had known very little of before, and would forever be entirely familiar with it for the rest of his life.

It was on this day that Shen Shi never again spoke normally. It was on this day that the whip had missed its mark on his back and instead wrapped around his throat, cutting into the delicate skin. It was on this day that Shen Shi learned that even if he kneeled on the ground, choking on his own blood, unable to scream from his wounds, there would always be people there ready to hurt him more once he was down.

Just as it would be on this day, Shen Yuan didn’t run, didn’t cry, and wouldn’t stop.

His hand reared back, and Chen Qiang didn’t see him until that hand collided with his chest, and a surge of energy broke through the two, sending Chen Qiang flying into the adjacent wall. A thrum of powerful energy coursed through Shen Yuan’s meridians, and he gasped from the sudden feeling.

His golden core…he hadn’t lost it after all?

He looked down at his hand where a faint white glow still surged and he only looked up when he heard Madam Wang gasp and back away. However, his focus was primarily on Bai Daiyu, he quickly rushed over and kneeled next to the woman, sword in hand as he fretted. “Jiejie! This Yuan is here, please let me help.”

Bai Daiyu struggled to sit up, but once she caught sight of Shen Yuan with bleary eyes, she could only utter a few words. “A-Yuan…Little butterfly…how?”

He was unable to answer her question as Madam Wang cried out again, this time pushing herself into a corner as Chen Qiang produced that oh-so-familiar whip in hand, and Shen Yuan didn’t even spare the thought as to where the man had kept it stashed.

“Shen Yuan.” Chen Qiang growled, but Shen Yuan only grunted as he stood, brandishing the sword as he pointed it straight at the brothel master.

“Stay away from my Jiejie.”

Chen Qiang laughed humorlessly, shouting in rage as he suddenly reared back before snapping his arm down and sending forth the whip. He didn’t run, nor did he try to dodge. Instead, he blocked the attack with his sword and threw an attack of his own.

It went on like that, his attacks would surge with spiritual energy while Chen Qiang’s surged with a ruthless viscousness that guaranteed he was aiming to not only injure but kill.

Both were left with their own wounds. However, no matter the lashes he faced against his torso or his arms, even a few on his legs and feet, he didn’t stop. He continued forward until he forced Chen Qiang out of the brothel. The first snow had fallen only that previous night, so their bloody footsteps left a jarring sight in the once pure white snow.

His muscles ached from lack of practice, and his form was sloppy, this body of his was still unbearably weak, and he was feeling the effects. But he couldn’t stop, he wouldn’t stop, not until he was struck down by the heavens themselves, he wouldn’t stop.

His Jiejie would live this time, every woman from the brothel would live, and they’d make it out. Here and now, he wouldn’t let fate repeat itself. No matter the cost, he would do whatever it took to change their fate!

“Stop this!” Bai Daiyu’s voice cut through the blood rushing to his head, his torso ached from the lashes, and it was getting harder to breathe in the cold air outside, but he continued, even when he heard the woman scream again. “A-Yuan! Chen Qiang, stop this!”

Chen Qiang did not respond to her either, but when Shen Yuan heard footsteps approaching, fear overcame him, and he couldn’t help but look back and yell for Bai Daiyu to run. “Jiejie, run–!” It was the same mistake he made last time.

He had turned his head to cry out for her. He had been so scared back then that he thought he was dying, and he had been, and it had been his carelessness that cost him his voice.

Only now, it seemed to cost him his eyes.

A searing pain overcame him, and his vision whited out just before it seemed to be overcome by crimson. He didn’t even have the chance to scream or cry as another crack of thunder sounded, and that whip wrapped around his leg, forcing him down before it started dragging him.

His hands flew to his eyes, the world was spinning, and he could feel it. The snow and ice were cold on his back, and everything burned. He could still hear screaming and crying, but he could only focus on the hand that felt grab his throat as a familiar fear overcame him.

Something was said, something he couldn’t properly make out, and then his body felt weightless. For a moment, he felt like he was flying, a freeing feeling almost, only to be shattered as his body met freezing stone and the sounds of cracking joints and shattering bones filled his ears.

There was a final sound of something slamming shut, and in the expanse of crimson darkness, all he could find in that desolate cold was the faint beating of his own heart.

Lonely and weak.

Just as it always had been.

Chapter Text

They had heard the screaming from far away, along with what sounded like a distressed horse. Their own steeds had whinnied and thrown their heads about at the sound, seemingly disturbed, and both had only spared a glance at each other before following the sounds.

Even if they hadn’t found the place they were looking for yet, they had a duty to make sure that no innocents were being harmed, more than anything else, even if they were annoyed to have to draw their attention away from their sole purpose.

It was only when they entered the estate and saw the name of the gauzy place spelled out in bright red characters that they realized they had unknowingly stumbled upon their desired destination.

Which only made the sounds of screaming that much more harrowing.

The disciple adorned in green and white did not hesitate to encourage his steed forward quickly, while the disciple adorned in dark blue and grey followed behind him just as urgently.

The doors to the main courtyard were wide open, with even a few gashes in the wood that did not look natural in any way. They were able to lead their steeds inside without anyone noticing them.

They came upon a woman held back by a larger woman with broad shoulders and a stoically severe expression. The woman who was held back was screaming and crying, bleeding from her head as she pointed her finger at a lavishly dressed man and woman, while the broader woman who held her back seemed too depressed even to look up. In the distance, a large horse was squealing and kicking up a fuss, clearly distressed behind the fence that separated him from the main courtyard.

“-Do you hear me!? Let him out! You’ll kill him, you bastard!” Her screaming didn’t cease even when the two cultivators approached on their horses. The man, who had a few cuts on his face and blood staining his robes, only glared at them, and the woman on his arm stared up at them fearfully.

“Can we help you?” The man asked coldly, and the disciple adorned in green and white only sneered as he dismounted his horse and ignored the man in favor of going to the screaming woman’s side.

“Who are you screaming about?” His tone was cold and without a shred of sympathy, and it only spurred the woman on to scream in his face, this time pointing her finger at him instead.

“Unless you plan to help him, leave!”

“Who are you screaming about?” This time, his question was asked with a sharp glare and a glance behind him at the older disciple, who only then dismounted his horse and took to standing in front of the brothel master, whom he practically towered over.

Bai Daiyu paused, recognizing the colors of their robes and the swords at their sides, her voice hitched as her tears fell ceaselessly. “Unless you cultivators help my A-Yuan, leave…please. Or at least break the lock on the cellar.” The name seemed to catch the disciple’s attention, and the woman was finally released from the arms of Meng Lian and desperately met the gaze of those shocked, dark emerald eyes. “Please! He’ll die down there! Please! He’s only a child! He’s done nothing wrong!”

“That boy deserves his fate.” Chen Qiang suddenly spoke up, and Bai Daiyu screamed in a flurry of rage as she tried to charge at him again, once again only held back by Meng Lian as she swung her fists.

Her feet kicked against the blood-soaked snow, and her gaze resembled that of a crazed and desperate creature who was fighting for her life. “It’s you who deserves your fate! Die! Die a hundred deaths over again! If my boy dies, then I will make sure you do as well! Do you hear me!? I’ll kill you myself! You’ll remember the name Shen Yuan even in hell! I’ll make sure you never find peace even in the underworld!”

Finally, that disciple clad in grey and dark blue finally spoke up and with him, a suppressing power practically covered the entire area like a net as he glared down at the brothel master. “Where is he?”

The brothel master didn’t speak again, but the disciple adorned in green and white needed no other instructions as he sprinted forward, following the trail of blood out of the courtyard until he reached the cellar doors. Chained and locked closed, he merely drew his sword, and in a single slash, the chains and locks were shattered.

The cellar smelled heavily of mildew and old clothes, but amongst those dreary scents lingered the sharp and heavy scent of iron. Blood. It was the scent of blood. “A-Yuan!” The voice that called out was drastically different than the cold tone the disciple had earlier, it was desperate but familiar, just as the waters of a vast river were familiar to the flowers that bloomed on the bank.

“Answer your Er-ge!” Shen Jiu’s shouting was met with silence, and a deep sense of dread grew in his heart as he hurried down the stairs into the darkness. He drew a talisman from his robes, but when the light was finally shed in the darkness, he was left frozen in horror. “Didi…”

“What right do you have!?” Chen Qiang hissed, trying to appear bigger as he puffed his chest out, but the disciple adorned in dark blue and grey only glared down at him silently until he could no longer stand the sight of the brothel master.

“As Shen Yuan’s brothers, if we believe him to be here, we have more than enough right. You and a few others stole him from us years ago.” Yue Qi’s tone was that of a leader, commanding and deserving of respect. But it was also that of a big brother, demanding and without a shred of kindness toward those who dared to come between him and his family.

Bai Daiyu gasped from behind him, finally having faces to put to the softly cried-out names her little butterfly used to cry for in his sleep. “You’re A-Yuan’s brothers? His Da-ge and Er-ge?” Yue Qi turned to look at her and slowly nodded.

“Are you Bai Daiyu?” His question shocked her, but she nodded.

Yue Qi gave her a small smile, grateful and sympathetic, before a hoarse shout had him spinning around in an instant, only to freeze in horror at the sight. A body far too small for someone his age was cradled in the arms of the Qing Jing Peak disciple who looked six parts identical to him. Blood stained his clothes, his leg was bent unnaturally, his hair was a mess, half held up and caked with blood, and his face was covered in crimson.

However, it was only from one place it seemed to come from…his eyes. His eyes were bleeding. It almost seemed as if they had been gouged out…

It didn’t even seem like he was breathing.

Yue Qi was going to be sick.

Or possibly a murderer if that man to his right did not back far enough away from him before what was left of his thin composure snapped.

“Inside! Get him inside!” Bai Daiyu suddenly screamed, rushing forward to Shen Jiu as she tried to take Shen Yuan from the man’s arms, only to be roughly yanked back by Chen Qiang.

Yue Qi stepped in quickly, separating the man from Bai Daiyu as Madam Wang faltered back worriedly, unknowing of which side to take. However, as Chen Qiang tried to stand against the Qiong Ding Peak disciple, a large hoof suddenly collided with his chest, sending him skidding across the ground as Xiao Yingzi whinnied agitatedly.

Yue Qi backed away from the aggrieved horse; however, the large beast didn’t calm even as Chen Qiang was left unconscious on the ground, stomping his hooves against the snow as he threw his head about.

“Xiao Yingzi! He’s here! He’s here! Calm down!” Bai Daiyu shouted, moving aside to let the horse see Shen Yuan. However, when the beast tried to approach closer, Shen Jiu shouted in shock as he backed away.

“Keep that beast away from my brother!” Shen Jiu shouted, which only seemed to make the horse that much angrier as he began to stomp on the ground again, huffing and raising a fuss.

“That beast will quite literally flatten everyone here to get to Shen Yuan!” Bai Daiyu shouted, doing her best to avoid the large hooves of the horse. “Let him at least come closer to him! He won’t calm down until he sees A-Yuan!”

Shen Jiu wanted to argue further, but when that creature once again came closer, he made the instant choice to freeze. Xiao Yingzi approached until he was able to lower his head to sniff at Shen Yuan, only to rear back and throw his head around as he whinnied, digging at the ground urgently.

“What is he doing!?” Shen Jiu questioned, though Bai Daiyu only watched with similar confusion.

“There’s no time!” Yue Qi suddenly spoke up, coming closer to take Shen Yuan from Shen Jiu. However, the second his hands touched Shen Yuan, the boy cried out in hoarse pain.

The sound only seemed to spur Xiao Yingzi on further. The beast reared back on its hind legs, stomping against the ground increasingly until it felt as though the earth was shaking beneath them. Finally, the creature turned his side to Shen Jiu and threw about his head again.

“I think…he wants you to get on…” Bai Daiyu murmured, and Shen Jiu cradled Shen Yuan closer to his chest as he snapped his head to look at the woman.

“Neither I nor my brother are getting near that damn thing!”

“Do you really wish to argue with a two-thousand-pound beast!? Get on!” Bai Daiyu ordered, shoving Shen Jiu closer until the disciple was able to touch the saddle.

Shen Jiu hissed under his breath, but otherwise skillfully climbed onto the large beast. Every small noise that came from his Didi only seemed to make the horse all the more aggrieved, just as it only continued to claw at the disciple’s heart like the claws of a tiger.

Yue Qi made sure they were on the horse securely before taking Bai Daiyu by the hand and leading her to Shen Jiu’s horse. “Please come with us. Our brother wrote about you to us, he’d likely be in a panic if you’re not there.”

Bai Daiyu didn’t have the capacity to question what he meant by ‘wrote to us’ but she otherwise climbed on the horse without a fuss, looking over her shoulder at Meng Lian and Madam Wang: both of whom nodded in agreement.

“Go on, A-Yu. Make sure our boy is okay. We can deal with him.” Meng Lian sent a nasty glare over at Chen Qiang, who was slowly waking and groaning in pain.

Yue Qi had yet to mount his horse, so when he looked over at the women, he was still somewhat at eye level with them. “Does that man have any relatives or family?”

Madam Wang stepped forward shakily, nodding and bowing her head. “This one is his wife, Daozhang.”

Yue Qi hummed coldly, glaring a final time as he asked, “Would you miss him?”

The question was rather cold, but Madam Wang understood the context and scoffed softly, backing away as she said, “A marriage of duty. Not love. Daozhang may do whatever he pleases.”

Yue Qi hummed understandingly, looking up at Shen Jiu, who still cradled the mangled body of their Didi in his arms. A frosty shadow covered his eyes, and a simple nod gave his answer. “This one asks that you look away.” He said nothing else as he gave a single curt nod to Shen Jiu before he turned around and grabbed the slowly rising brothel master by his collar. Dragging him away as the man yelled.

Shen Jiu didn’t feel the need to stick around, so he nudged the horse’s side with his heel, and Xiao Yingzi was all the happier to start moving, nearly starting a gallop if not for Shen Jiu having a tight hold on his reins.

The small body in his arms was cold; he did his best to lean forward and use himself as a warmer for his Didi, but the entire time they rode out of that heaven’s forsaken town, his A-Yuan didn’t stir once.

He was almost too scared to check for his pulse.

Vaguely, he heard the sound of hooves behind them, and he turned to face Bai Daiyu. She was pretty in some regards; however, at that moment her face was contorted in worry and discomfort from the cold, stained with drying blood, and marred by a grief that was entirely too relatable for Shen Jiu to look at. However, when he paid a bit more attention to her shivering, he hummed curtly, That’s right, she’s just a normal person, she wasn’t able to control her temperature as he was. His Didi hadn’t described much of her in the letter he wrote, only explaining that he had someone to go to in that terrible place and that Bai Daiyu was someone to trust. Then again, when he and Yue Qi saw the date on that letter, it had been three years ago.

How could it take a letter so long to reach them? Who the hell did he need to kill for such a mistake?

Three years…that might as well have been a lifetime. His A-Yuan was what? Fourteen now? Nearly at the age to be considered an adult, at a brothel no less. A terrible and disgusting shudder went down his spine at the thought. He had no doubt that…that bastard would have taken full advantage the second he turned fifteen.

He hadn’t seen him since he was nine…

Ever since the fire, when he had been convinced under that damned Wu Yanzi to burn down the Qiu household…When he had been lied to, when that awful man told him he knew where Shen Yuan had been taken and led him around in useless circles for months until he finally ran into Yue Qi again at the Immortal Alliance Conference.

When he had joined the sect…when he had been refused again and again and again for help to find his brother. Being told repeatedly, “If you haven’t found him yet, then one can only assume the worst.”

One can just assume the worst.

How dare they. How dare they assume his Didi to be weak. How dare they assume he would just up and die, without Shen Jiu there? Without his Gege there to sing him to sleep or scare away those little rats that tried to bully him? Never.

His Didi would never.

His little A-Yuan…he would never leave him, he knew his baby brother, and he’d wait for his Gege. He wouldn’t just die, not without his Gege there to comfort him through whatever terrible things that happened.

Shen Jiu wouldn’t let him die.

Yet…

Looking down again, he could see that his A-Yuan really…hadn’t grown as much as he should have. Was he not fed enough? Was he just a late bloomer? Was this the difference between an Omega’s growth and an Alpha’s? His face had sharpened well enough, with hardly even a bit of baby fat left, leaving only soft curves of his face with sharp edges, but he was still so…tiny.

Weak.

His A-Yuan was still so weak…he still needed his Er-ge, he still needed Shen Jiu to hold his hand, lead him through the darker alleyways, scare off those terrible little bullies, and protect him.

He still needed Shen Jiu.

He didn’t realize they had made it back to the inn they were staying at until Bai Daiyu called out to him. “Where are we going!? He won’t last this long in the cold!” He didn’t need her to tell him that.

He was mine first, damn it. I know how to care for my A-Yuan, thank you very much. You were just a necessary stand-in until I could get back to him, know your place. Controlling the scowl on his face, he made sure Shen Yuan was still pressed securely to his chest before dismounting the large horse, who huffed in annoyance when Shen Jiu tried to walk too far. Greedy beast.

“We have a room inside, we’ll buy another one for you, but for now, come inside. We can leave the horses in the stable around the corner.” He heard Bai Daiyu dismount, following alongside him as they led the horses to the stable before going inside.

The receptionist stared at the blood-covered woman, the mangled boy, and the scowling cultivator with both confusion and worry, but quickly looked away when Shen Jiu leveled her with a glare. Something that Bai Daiyu took notice of. Shen Jiu kicked open the door, laying Shen Yuan on the bed as he pointed to a small qiankun on the table. “Bring that over here and some water.”

Bai Daiyu hesitated for a moment, but upon seeing her little butterfly’s face again, she quickly sprang into action and grabbed the bag and the small basin of water in the corner with a rag, handing it over to the cultivator without further prompting. Without a word to her, he reached into the pouch and pulled out various medical supplies before tossing her a few gauze pads and wrappings, setting the basin down next to him as he placed a heating talisman on the side of it.

“Your hands are cut up, as is your face. I’ll patch him up while you make sure you’re without serious injuries.”

She wanted to say something to rebuke his statement, say something to convince him to let her stay close by, but the second she opened her mouth, Shen Jiu was already glaring at her. So, with a resigned sigh, she stepped away to check herself over.

There wasn’t even the sound of breathing in that room. Small inhales were taken into consideration, and the unconscious boy on the bed hardly made a sound as Shen Jiu worked through the wounds he found.

“If Yue Qi didn’t kill him, I’ll…” Bai Daiyu turned at the mutter, the silence was finally broken, and she couldn’t bear the ache in her chest. So, she turned around to see the damage, only to feel what was left of her heart plummet into the depths of her stomach.

The front of his robes was open, revealing the myriad of lashes across his torso and arms. They varied in severity, depth, and size, but Bai Daiyu just knew that every single one of them likely was just as painful as the last. Shen Jiu was hissing between his teeth as he applied the salve, too fearful to grab the needle to stitch any of the larger wounds himself, and clenched his jaw with every wrapping he bound around his Didi’s chest.

His leg was undoubtedly broken; the cloth of his trousers had been torn away to reveal the yellow and purple bruises across his leg, which only seemed to travel even further up. There was a splint tied around his leg, keeping it straight, and Bai Daiyu couldn’t help but wonder how her little butterfly had stayed unconscious for the Qing Jing Peak disciple to fix it.

It was only when Shen Jiu placed the warm rag on Shen Yuan’s face to try and clean up the wound and lower his temperature from the fever that the boy finally made a sound. What a terrible sound it was. A sharp scream tore through his throat before that once-prone body sprang up and hit wildly. Throwing his fists and kicking the leg that wasn’t broken like a man gone mad, Shen Jiu had to duck to avoid a hit to his face; however, unable to dodge the foot that collided with his chest.

“A-Yuan!” Shen Jiu and Bai Daiyu called out in unison, but whatever possessed Shen Yuan to react so violently, likewise made him deaf, and instead of listening, he rolled off the bed.

Shen Jiu tried to grab him, but the second a hand touched him, Shen Yuan was already kicking and hitting again. “A-Yuan!” Bai Daiyu tried again, this time at least receiving a head tilt, but no other reaction. It was only when Shen Yuan pushed himself up to stand on his broken leg and tried to make a run for it, blind, that Bai Daiyu truly stepped into the fray.

Grabbing the boy’s hands, which were just as cut up as the rest of him, she said, “Little butterfly, stay calm, stay calm. It’s okay now.” Shen Yuan finally stilled and looked around for her; however, when the boy opened his eyes, the sight was just as gory as to be expected.

His eyes…or what could be left of them, bled. Bloody tears rolled down his face, and it seemed as though someone had tried to slice at his eyes, only able to cut at the surface. It caused him pain, as when he called out to her, his voice was hoarse and tight with agony. “Jiejie? I…I can’t see you!”

Bai Daiyu felt her very soul shatter. Unable to contain herself, she sobbed and fell to her knees. Shen Yuan reacted to the sound, turning around as he tried to feel out for her, though he was only able to grab her hands as the woman pulled him into her embrace and said repeatedly, “A-Yuan, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!”

He was in extreme pain; this body of his was still weak, unable to handle even the slightest amount of pain. He wanted to curse himself ten times over, but he could hear his Jiejie crying, and that alone was enough to make him wish death upon himself for her grief.

All he could see was a dark haze of crimson, just opening his eyes burned like fire as if he hadn’t blinked in over ten years. The pain was a familiar one, and despite the facts that circled in his head, he was desperate as he tried to forcefully regain his sight. Wiping at his face and nearly rubbing at his eyes until a hand caught his, a hand too large and calloused to be his Jiejie.

“Don’t touch your eyes!” That voice…No matter his shock, the owner of that voice didn’t wait for him to recognize him. Shen Yuan was pulled away from Bai Daiyu, causing the woman to cry harder, which only made Shen Yuan struggle all the more. “Don’t fight me! Let me see your face!”

He knew that voice.

Something warm and wet was placed against his face, a rag, and he had to reach up to push it away from his mouth as he called out almost fearfully, “Gege?”

There was a sharp inhale, perhaps even a sob of sorts, but that didn’t make sense. His Er-ge never cried, and he most certainly didn’t give a damn enough about Shen Yuan to cry over him! A soft hum came in place of that strange sound, a gentle hand wrapped around the back of Shen Yuan’s neck, gently rubbing the bruises there. “Mm…It’s good that you recognize your Gege. I’d have to ground you if you forgot me, Didi.”

Er-ge…it really is you, isn’t it? For a long moment, no one spoke, and Shen Yuan was only slowly registering the pain caused by that warm rag against his sensitive face. There were at least a hundred different questions he wanted to ask, but none of them came out.

How was he here? Why was he here? How did he find them? Why did he come at all? Why was this life going so differently than his last? Since when did his brother give a damn about him enough to do something like this?

Finally, the thoughts in his head grew too loud, and he couldn’t bear to hold any of it in any longer. “How…Why? Why is Er-ge here?”

The question seemed to make Shen Jiu freeze; the gentle pressure that still burned like fire against his face pulled away, and the sudden chill of the room only made his eyes ache that much more. The reaction was noticed, and something just as equally cold as the room was applied to his face before a soft yet tight binding was tied around his eyes. “Don’t take it off…” Shen Jiu ordered him.

Shen Yuan could hear him step away, muttering something that sounded vaguely like offended questioning as Bai Daiyu took his place and took Shen Yuan’s hands into her own. “How is A-Yuan feeling?” Her hands were warm against his; it felt comforting, but he wanted to see her face.

“This one is fine…how is Jiejie?” He unconsciously reached up to take off the binding around his eyes, only to have that same calloused hand grab his hand again and pull it down.

“What did I just say? Did Didi learn not to listen to his Er-ge in the past few years?” Shen Jiu scolded him as something heavy and soft was suddenly wrapped around him until he was bundled up so tightly that even if the pain that coursed through his entire being was nonexistent, he wouldn’t have been able to move.

Bai Daiyu muttered something that he couldn’t make out before she pressed a kiss to his cheek, helping him recline a little as she said, “This Jiejie is more than fine…My little butterfly protected me so well…this Jiejie just wishes she could have helped.”

Thoroughly trapped and aggrieved by that alone, Shen Yuan felt rather helpless as he said, “This one would have rather died than have Jiejie get hurt.”

The statement was too severe. Said too soon and with too much conviction. Bai Daiyu choked on the air that gave her life, and Shen Jiu dropped the container of medicine he had been looking over, a growl low and threatening reverberated around the room, and Bai Daiyu and Shen Yuan both reacted similarly, freezing up and turning their attention to the sound.

“Would have rather died?” Shen Jiu growled, stomping closer while Bai Daiyu stood to meet him, guarding Shen Yuan protectively as the boy struggled to free himself from the bundle his brother had wrapped him in, she and the Qing Jing Disciple were exactly the same height as the came face to face, but it only served to make the situation that much more tense, leaving neither any other place to look at but each other’s eyes. “Why should my brother have to die for you? Why should he have to get hurt because of you?”

Bai Daiyu clenched her teeth at the question. The unimaginable grief and guilt that had been weighing down her heart only seemed to triple in size at the cultivator’s question. However, Shen Yuan was unable to take such accusations lightly. “It wasn’t Jiejie’s fault! Don’t talk to her like that! Leave her alone!” He had finally broken one of his arms free and did his best to unwrap himself as quickly as possible.

The sight alone made Shen Jiu’s jaw ache. He tried to step around Bai Daiyu to get to Shen Yuan, only to have Bai Daiyu sidestep into his path, blocking his way. He laughed without a shred of humor, cruel and taunting, he said, “Who are you anyway? Who are you to have him call you Jiejie? Are you his family?” The questions were harsh and practically spat out with an ounce of venom for each. Bai Daiyu did her best to keep her composure, but as the man continued to ask these questions, she felt her resolve dwindling. “Did you raise him? What right do you have to get in my way? At the end of the day, who do you think my Didi will go with? His real family or you?”

Shen Yuan’s jaw fell slack. To ask such questions! How cruel! Er-ge! Why are you speaking to her like this!? What has Yu-jie ever done to you, huh? Leave her alone!

He was about to speak up on behalf of his Jiejie again when Bai Daiyu’s resolve finally snapped, and she spat out, “Who are you? Some Gege you are! So shameless as to demand A-Yuan after abandoning him for years!” Bai Daiyu really wasn’t that old, maybe only a year or two older than Shen Jiu, so such arguments weren’t below her. She puffed her chest out and, with a resounding step forward, she continued. “When was the last time you saw him!? When he was nine! Do you know how many nights I had to coax him to sleep because of the nightmares!? How many nights he cried for you and his Da-ge!? How many mornings had he woken up terrified and aching because you never came?! Who are you to demand such things!? What right do you have!? I raised him! I have every right to call him A-Yuan, just as he has every right to address me as his Jiejie!”

The very second she had seen this young cultivator, she immediately noticed the resemblance he bore to her little butterfly. A sharper jawline, higher cheekbones, lighter hazel hair rather than pitch-black, dark emerald eyes rather than a warm jade, and cold phoenix eyes were the only differences. But where they were different, it seemed the features of that Da-ge of his canceled it out, gentle willow leaf eyes, pitch-black hair, and a straight yet rounded nose. Her A-Yuan truly did seem to be a perfect replica of both of them.

Despite the physical similarities, Bai Daiyu knew for certain that this Er-ge and her little butterfly could not be more different than the other in terms of personality. While her little A-Yuan could be rather abrupt and somewhat crass given the situation and given whether or not he understood what was going on, he was soft-spoken more often than not, polite, kind, and welcoming despite whatever cold exterior he tried to take on. Even when he had stood against Chen Qiang, despite the unfair advantage the grown man had against him, he fought righteously, and Bai Daiyu could see the restraint he held himself to. Righteous and without question of moral character.

However, this cultivator in front of her couldn’t be more different. A constant scowl and haughty expression that could make anyone uncomfortable after so long at looking at him, a cruel tone and vexing personality that undoubtedly made him a formidable enemy to those he spoke against, and a harsh and almost inhumane choice of weaponizing another person’s weaknesses—guilt, grief, or otherwise—as a means to bring them down and only continue kicking them once they were on the ground. Shameless and rather dirty in terms of fighting.

She glanced between the two of them, one with a worried expression and the other with a scowl. Truly, they could be no more different from each other than the dawn is from dusk.

Though just as she assumed, the young man before her cared little for fairness or a righteous fight. Her words had cut into a deep and unhealed wound that had festered and rotted away at his soul for the past five years, and he was unable to take her words with a sense of humility or the benevolence that his station called for. Without hesitation, Shen Jiu drew his sword, Xiu Ya, from its sheath and gripped it so tightly his knuckles went as white as snow.

Shen Yuan sensed the change in his brother’s spiritual energy and heard the sword draw from its sheath. He immediately tried to jump in front of where he assumed his Jiejie stood, but was immediately forced down by two hands on his shoulders. One soft and demure, and the other lengthy and calloused. One the hand of a scholar and the other the hand of a soul who had never raised a hand against anyone in either self-defense or aggression.

“A-Yuan, stay down for Jiejie, please.”

“Didi, do not interfere, it will be over soon.”

They both spoke at once, and Shen Yuan felt like his head was being split in half. What were they doing!? Why were they fighting? How had it gotten to this point so quickly!? They both had said things that went too far, but did it mean they had to fight like this!?

He was about to speak up to stop this, or at least try, when the door of the room opened suddenly and urgently. A voice that Shen Yuan hadn’t heard without a tinge of pain in so long reverberated around the room, and the tense air only seemed to become suffocating. “Xiao-Jiu! A-Yuan!”

Yue Qi entered the room at the height of this battle, watching as the Qing Jing Peak disciple and the concubine stood off against each other, both with a hand on Shen Yuan’s shoulder: who looked so pale that Yue Qi thought there was still snow in his eyes, and the air in the room could be cut with a sword.

“What is happening here!?” The tone was foreign to everyone in the room. Shen Jiu and Shen Yuan especially. Yue Qi hurried forward, separating the woman and the cultivator as he leveled the both of them with a stern look before kneeling before Shen Yuan with a worried expression.

Both Shen Jiu and Bai Daiyu only then noticed the pale complexion of the boy and the way his entire body was seemingly trembling from either his fever or the fear of the battle that almost transpired.

However, in truth, it was neither. Shen Yuan’s trembling was not from sickness or fear, but grief. Uncontrollable grief.

The last time he had ever seen his brothers, his Da-ge had been nothing but ashes with only a bloodied sword tassel to remember him by, and his Er-ge had been a mangled human stick that Shen Yuan had to kill himself out of the necessity of mercy.

Now he couldn’t see either of them at all.

He could hear their voices, his spiritual core could sense theirs, and he could feel their hands in his, but he couldn’t see them.

His last memories of their images were nothing more than gore, terrible and horrific gore.

The fact that he would never be able to see them as otherwise again tore through his heart with a ruthless, viscousness that left him breathless and aching from head to toe.

It was enough to make whatever sense of composure he had left snap and shatter without his consent.

The trembling that Yue Qi hadn’t dared to try and stop for fear of hurting his Didi almost immediately turned to a soft choking sound, then erupted into a heart-breaking sob, and then a soul-crushing wail. Yue Qi was unable to offer any sort of comfort before tears of blood stained the white bindings around his eyes until they bled through and ran down his cheeks.

It was a horrific sight, and only reinforced Yue Qi’s worst fears. It was out of pure instinct that he reacted, kneeling on one knee as he reached forward and wrapped his arms around Shen Yuan. Tucking his head beneath his chin, Yue Qi crooned and hummed to him softly, squeezing him just tight enough to reassure Yue Qi of his existence and to reassure the boy in his arms that it would take death itself to force him away.

“Qi-ge is here. Da-ge is here, A-Yuan, little one, I’m here.”

Bai Daiyu hadn’t seen Shen Yuan cry like this in years, but the sight was just as harrowing as she remembered, she felt uncomfortable trying to force this Da-ge and her A-Yuan apart to comfort him herself, so she backed up a few steps and was unable to watch for long without having to turn away and sob into her hand.

Shen Jiu, on the other hand, held no such composure and dove into the embrace without hesitation. Cupping his Didi’s face as his face screwed up in worry and heartache at the sound of his A-Yuan’s wailing. Shen Jiu was never the best at comfort or gentleness, but at this moment, his touch was nothing but gentle, and his tone was as tender and kind as the sun shining upon a snow-bedded flower after a terrible storm.

“Didi, A-Yuan. We’re here, where does it hurt? Er-ge will make it better; you can cry, but let us help. It won’t hurt anymore.”

The foreign tone was so shocking that Shen Yuan ended up choking, coughing, and sputtering as his chest heaved and his eyes burned. Yue Qi patted his back and made sure to keep his head up as he helped him, and Shen Jiu placed a hand around the back of his neck, massaging the bruises and checking his pulse and meridians.

There came a shocked sound from Shen Jiu, one that Yue Qi reacted to immediately, looking over at the Qing Jing Peak disciple fearfully, while the younger man was only able to open and close his mouth a few times in shock before snapping it shut. “His meridians…”

Yue Qi immediately placed two fingers at the juncture of his Didi’s elbow, feeling the complex system of spiritual veins in Shen Yuan’s body as he sent out a warmth of spiritual energy to soothe the aches and pains. Only to find not only a strong golden core but also practically shattered and tangled meridians.

Finding both all at once was shocking, if not entirely implausible. Yue Qi couldn’t help but stare in both wonderment and horror. For his Didi’s meridians to be so out of sorts…he didn’t even want to try and imagine the suffering he must have faced, but to still have an intact and strong golden core?

It should have been impossible, at the very least the spiritual core should have shriveled up and been weak, but it still hummed with a strong energy that both made Yue Qi skeptical and overwhelmingly proud. But the physical pain his Didi must have been in, even without the injuries he just sustained, made Yue Qi feel sick to his stomach.

He squeezed the boy in his arms a little tighter, sighing in relief when Shen Yuan wrapped his arms around him, gripping his robes with a fierce intensity. However, Shen Jiu had yet to be calmed, and with a heavy resolution said, “We need to get him back to Cang Qiong, immediately.” 

Chapter Text

"Cang Qiong? So far away?" Bai Daiyu spoke up, only to be met with the harsh glare of the Qing Jing Peak disciple.

Yue Qi was quick to place a hand on his shoulder to try and soothe him, but the man shrugged him off and instead reached under Shen Yuan's arms to help the boy further onto the bed, taking his seat next to him as he pulled him into his lap, eyeing Bai Daiyu knowingly all the while.

Yue Qi sighed at the silent interaction, and at having Shen Yuan taken out of his embrace so soon...too soon. But he otherwise rose to stand face to face with the woman, offering her a polite bow as he said, "This one realizes that he never properly introduced himself or his Shidi. This humble one is Yue Qingyuan, the Head Disciple of Qiong Ding Peak, and my Shidi is Shen Qingqiu, the Head Disciple of Qing Jing Peak. This one thanks Bai-guniang for taking care of our brother; however, it would serve him best to take him back with us to Cang Qiong, where he can receive better medical treatment."

Shen Yuan, who was still rather forcefully curled up in his brother's lap, tried to squirm out of the hold his Er-ge had on him, only to find that Shen Qingqiu was not going to be lenient on him in the slightest. "I don't want to leave Jiejie!" Shen Yuan shouted, which caught both Shen Qingqiu and Yue Qingyuan by surprise, so much so that Shen Qingqiu's grip loosened just enough that Shen Yuan was able to squirm out of the grip and unceremoniously push himself off the bed.

"A-Yuan-." Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu called out in unison, but Shen Yuan had already forgone the immediate pain of standing on a broken leg and threw himself in the direction of where he heard his Jiejie's voice.

He was rewarded only by the woman's arms wrapping around him as she lifted him off his feet, falling gracefully to her knees as she cradled the boy close, kissing his temple and trailing her fingers down his neck soothingly.

When she looked up, however, she saw both an angry and a hurt gaze from both the Er-ge and the Da-ge. Sighing, she ensured Shen Yuan was tucked in close to her as she said, "I agree with the Daozhang, A-Yuan would be better off far away from here." At this, Shen Yuan tried to shoot out of her embrace, only held down by the woman keeping a firm grip on the uninjured parts of his shoulders.

Surprised by this, Yue Qingyuan took the initiative and knelt before the two, looking the woman in the eyes as he asked, "Is this something that Bai-guniang truly agrees with?" Pausing, he was only able to look at his Didi's worried expression for a moment before having to look away. "This one understands that my Didi and you have...grown close to each other since he was brought under your care. We do not want to separate you two forcefully."

A scoff came from the bed. Shen Qingqiu had pushed himself to sit at the very edge, glaring down at Bai Daiyu and Yue Qingyuan specifically. "Separate them forcefully? Just as A-Yuan was brought there forcefully? Yue-shixiong, have you forgotten what can happen to victims who are left with no other choice?"

The accusation was clear as day, and Bai Daiyu hissed through her teeth and Yue Qingyuan looked up at Shen Qingqiu with a complicated expression. However, Shen Yuan couldn't stand to ignore it any longer, pushing himself out of his Jiejie's arms, he said, "Er-ge, don't accuse Jiejie like that. She hasn't done anything wrong!"

The hand that cupped his face startled him, unable to see it or expect it, he flinched back, only to have that hand follow him and wipe away the stray bloody tears that still stained his face. "Didi..." The tone was notably softer now, and Shen Yuan truly didn't know how to feel about any of this. "You've been put in this situation by awful people, and you still defend them? Listen to your Gege, you'll be away from these people for less than a few days, and you'll understand."

Gege...it's you who doesn't understand. Shen Yuan thought as he shimmed himself forward, only to be once again grabbed from under his arms and hoisted onto the bed, specifically next to his brother. What was with this thing of people just grabbing him like he weighed nothing? Screw how much pain he was in, leave him the face of being allowed to move on his own no matter how pathetic it looked!

"Gege, this one knows for certain that Yu-jie is good. She helped me when no one else did. Don't treat her badly, she doesn't deserve it..." There was one more thing he wanted to add, but the thought of saying it already left a bad taste in his mouth...No...perhaps that was the blood. "...And if Jiejie doesn't come too...Then I definitely won't go! If Da-ge or Er-ge force me, I-I... I will never speak to them again, too!"

He immediately regretted saying such a thing.

Shit...too far! Too far! Why did I say that!?

The threat wasn't said emptily, and Shen Yuan had practically looked Shen Qingqiu in the eyes as he made his argument. Alone, it made Shen Qingqiu's blood simultaneously boil and freeze. However, the second he saw Yue Qingyuan's distraught expression at such a threat, it only worsened his mood, and he looked down at this little brother of his with a complex expression.

Since when had his Didi ever argued with him? Since when had he been one to make such harmful threats? At his Geges no less! Who taught him to say such things? Who...Who had hurt him similarly to teach him to act in such a way? A-Yuan...You shouldn't argue with me...I'm your Gege, I'm here to protect you. Why are you fighting me to do so?

Only, it was Bai Daiyu who had spoken first after the threat was made. "A-Yuan!" She stood from the floor, bypassing Yue Qingyuan as she placed a hand on Shen Yuan's knee. "Don't say such things! Not to your brothers! Not to anyone you love! Such a threat...Little butterfly, you must understand that to say such a thing... can truly hurt someone, deeply, so incredibly deeply. Promise me you'll never say such a thing again."

Shen Yuan immediately deflated at the chiding, but otherwise bowed his head respectfully and agreed. "This one promises, Jiejie...I hadn't meant to say it so...cruelly."

Bai Daiyu hummed understandingly, petting his cheek soothingly. "I know A-Yuan...but you should go with your brothers..."

The statement made Shen Yuan flinch again, and he immediately reached out for her and latched on. "I won't leave Jiejie!"

Suddenly, a hand was placed on the back of his head, smoothing down his hair and gently massaging the nape of his neck, by the hand alone, and with how large it was, Shen Yuan knew that it was his Da-ge. "A-Yuan doesn't have to worry, we'll bring Bai-guniang with us, Didi will not have to say goodbye."

Shen Qingqiu made a skeptical sound, just as Bai Daiyu looked up at the Qiong Ding Peak disciple both confusedly and hopefully. However, the second both saw Shen Yuan relax and even sigh with a soft smile, neither voiced their previous concerns or arguments.

Yue Qingyuan smiled at the unified reaction, focusing on Bai Daiyu as he asked, "Does Bai-guniang need to retrieve anything from the...that place? Xiao-Jiu can take A-Yuan to the base of the mountain, and we will be able to meet up with them there."

Bai Daiyu hummed softly for a moment, contemplating her decision as her eyes roamed over the hand Shen Yuan still had on her fingers. Her little butterfly...he would have to hold her hand now, no matter what, wouldn't he...? She had said that she hoped the day never came that he would venture off too far, that even as he got older, he would stay close to her and always hold her hand so he wouldn't get lost from her...

But she never meant it like this...

Tears stung at her eyes, the longer she looked, the lashes that were bound with tight white wrappings already looked as though they needed to be changed, brightly colored blood already slowly seeping through the wrappings. His entire chest was in a similar state, crisscrossing wounds that undoubtedly made it difficult to sit up, let alone move around as he was forcing himself to.

How was her little butterfly so strong? He wasn't meant to be a mighty eagle just yet. He should still be her little butterfly, wings too gentle to brave the winds of the world, who told him he needed to be so strong?

Though...perhaps it was the fault of the world around him. No matter how sheltered he was in the brothel, her little boy suffered the cruelties of reality head-on since such a youthful age, who wouldn't learn to hold themselves up so strongly without a moment of vulnerability to allow themself to heal? Who wouldn't be terrified to let their guard down?

The very wounds he suffered through now were testament to that enough.

Her little A-Yuan shouldn't have to be strong just yet, he shouldn't have to hold himself like this, he should be protected and loved. Cang Qiong could protect him...These brothers of his could protect him. She would protect him, now more than ever.

"No." Her answer was said without a hint of hesitation. "Anything that was left there is without worth and is not worthy of the risk of going back there. If need be, I will go back alone one day."

Yue Qingyuan nodded shallowly, looking away for a moment until Shen Qingqiu stood from the bed, eyeing him questioningly while the Qiong Ding Peak disciple nodded curtly.

He wasn't one to kill without hesitation. To take a life...it was something so severe, to have the blood of another once-living person on your hands...it could break a lesser man. But Yue Qingyuan was no lesser man, and that man...that beast: who had dared to raise his hand in violence against his baby brother...

It was not the blood of a man he had on his hands now, but the blood of a beast, and what kind of a brother would he be if he didn't deal with the worthless beasts that dared to harm the ones he loved?

"We will leave immediately then." Yue Qingyuan stated as he rubbed a final circle at the nape of his Didi's neck before turning away to quickly pack up their things. They had only stayed a single night, so there wasn't much thrown about other than the tatters of bloody robes and used gauze. He tried his best to ignore the darkening stains of blood on each one.

Shen Qingqiu went to the other side of the room, shuffling through a few of his things until he pulled out a pair of plain grey robes. "Didi, let's get you into these now, you'll be warmer." When the Qing Jing Peak disciple ventured back over and reached out to pull off the rest of Shen Yuan's tattered robes, the boy flinched back, instinctively shuffling away.

The reaction caught Shen Qingqiu by surprise; he hesitated to reach out again, but Bai Daiyu quickly stepped in. "Don't..." Correcting her tone, she cleared her throat. "Don't take it to heart..."

Shen Qingqiu eyed her wearily, rising from his stance as he set the robes on the bed, Yue Qingyuan watching from the corner wearily. "What are you speaking of?"

Bai Daiyu looked away shamefully. She knew more than anyone else why Shen Yuan despised people touching him. She knew better than anyone else what he suffered through, things he learned too young, and things he should have never experienced.

She always hated those friends of Chen Qiang's...those disgusting leeches that held no self-respect or dignity that they would stoop so low...that they could dare look at a child that way, that they could make such remarks, try to...try to touch him in seemingly innocent ways that Bai Daiyu knew better than anyone else were anything but.

She had done everything she could...she had tried everything to keep Shen Yuan away from them, to give him different chores, give him different customers when they came in, but Chen Qiang always called for him, and she would be left hiding in the corner or behind a pillar stealthily watching out for any signs that she needed to step in.

There were times when her little boy was younger that he flinched when they touched him. When he would shy away from it, even asked them to stop. Of course, they never listened, if anything, they'd tease him harder for it, cruelly and without a shred of empathy until Chen Qiang spoke up to shut all of them up, including Shen Yuan. Then...Her little butterfly just stopped. He stopped shying away, he stopped speaking up, he stopped flinching. He just...stopped.

As though he didn't care, as though the reason his fingers dug so deeply into the fabric of his clothes and the meat of his thighs was because of something other than the slimy and disgusting men he sat around. As though their cruel taunts of the little "Chen-guniang" didn't insult him and make him upset. As though every time Chen Qiang patted his head or gave him that...that look, her little boy's eyes didn't darken, as if he didn't look away, as if he didn't look like...he wasn't even there.

No one was to touch him for at least a few hours after each time they came. She always ensured that the bath water was ready by the time her little boy came into the room, immediately stripping off his clothes and jumping in the water. If there were times she made the water just a little too hot, boiling even, when she personally scrubbed those robes clean of every trace of those instances, then she didn't care for the scabs on her hands days later.

He never said a thing of it, he never complained, and he never cried. But she could see the way it affected him, the way he shied away from touch, the way whenever someone sneaked up on him he always turned to face them, as though terrified to leave his back turned.

It broke her heart in ways she hadn't prepared for and made her angry in ways she hadn't been for years.

The Qing Jing Peak disciple was still glaring at her as she tried to produce an answer that wouldn't put either Shen Yuan or her in an uncomfortable position where certain things the boy might not be ready to discuss yet were left out in the open. But it seemed the young man's patience had already run thin as he said, "This one asked you what you were saying? What are you not saying!?"

He was angered easily it seemed. Bai Daiyu took stock of that as she looked over her shoulder at Shen Yuan: who had a distant expression on his face, and if she could see his...his eyes, she was sure she would have seen that glaze that turned those warm jade eyes frosty and grey. When she turned back to look at him, the man was scowling, clenching, and unclenching his fist in either a way that was meant to soothe him personally or threaten her.

Either way, she took note of it and stored it away for later.

She would not let her little butterfly be left with another Chen Qiang, no matter who he might've been to Shen Yuan, Cang Qiong Mountain Sect or not, it would be over her dead body.

"I'm sure Shen-Daozhang can understand the nature of the place A-Yuan and I lived..." The statement alone made the veins on Shen Qingqiu's forehead stick out, his eyes widening only slightly as he inhaled deeply. "There were times when...people did not have respect or courtesy and–."

She could say no more before Shen Qingqiu had already shoved past her and kneeled before Shen Yuan, taking his brother's face in his hand as Shen Yuan flinched out of whatever state of mind he had been in, and gripped his brother's wrists.

He could practically feel his Er-ge's glare boring into his face. He had been thinking of how he was going to move around now, what he would have to learn, and most importantly, how the fuck was he supposed to read now, huh!? That was like...the single most important aspect of his life! It was how he learned to be a cultivator in the first place! Screw every hall master he ever had, he learned more from his cultivation manuals and the books of Qing Jing Peak Library than he did from them! But it seemed he had missed an important development, and he now regretted allowing himself to get lost in his thoughts.

"...Gege?" He wasn't sure if he had been asked a question, but the way he could feel the glare from his brother made him assume that he had made a mistake of some kind. "I...I didn't mean to."

What he said only served to cause Shen Qingqiu to flinch back, as if burned, and he looked between Bai Daiyu and Shen Yuan almost fearfully. "Didn't mean to...Didi, what are you saying? What did those people in the brothel do to you? Did they..." The question itself was too horrible to say; he felt bile rising in his throat, and the rage that boiled deep in his stomach was beginning to rise, urging him on to attack.

However, Shen Yuan was just as surprised by the question; he wasn't sure of what his brother had asked him before, but now he knew of the issue at hand. He would be a liar if he said that there hadn't been instances when customers in the brothel had been...disrespectful and disgusting.

Or that there hadn't ever been times that they had tried...without Chen Qiang's or anyone's know-how.

However, that was the past life, and those were memories he planned to bury far, far away, deep within himself, well into his next life. He'd never relive those memories if he could help it, and so far in this life, he had done everything possible to avoid every situation that had occurred in his past life.

So, to say, in this life, it hadn't happened. But did that mean he was to say it hadn't happened at all? Was he allowed to let go of the past like that?

His silence did no favors to the tension in the room, and Yue Qingyuan had hastily stuffed the rest of their things away in the qiankun pouches before he came over and sat next to Shen Yuan on the bed, making it dip from his weight. "Didi..." A hand outstretched to hold his hand, and Shen Yuan couldn't help but silently marvel at the difference. He hadn't held his Da-ge's hand much in his past life, only when he was a child, and the only time he and his Da-ge had held hands or hugged had been long after he joined the sect and his brothers were already Peak Lords...It was strange to feel just how vastly different they were now. "If something happened...you are not at fault, it wasn't your fault. But please...if something-. I-If it did...we need to know so we can help, it-."

A humorless laugh cut him off, and everyone in the room, aside from Shen Yuan, froze in shock and mild fear. What a heartless sound...coming from their A-Yuan no less. "Not my fault?" The question was asked without a shred of curiosity or thought. He couldn't help it, to hear it said...sounded so strange, it was almost funny. "Then why did Chen-ye have to change my robes? Why did they always call me the little Chen-guniang? Whose fault is it then? Most of it stopped once I wore more concealing robes. Chen-ye told me that I had to take responsibility, isn't that right? Shouldn't people take responsibility for themselves?"

A choked sob came from the woman, covering her mouth as she looked away. She had thought she had done better to teach her little boy, that she had protected well enough...but that damned Chen Qiang! She'd kill him a second time, the second she got down there to the underworld! She'd drag him before the king of the underworld himself and demand he face retribution for his sins!

However, Shen Qingqiu and Yue Qingyuan had taken the reaction far less gracefully. Yue Qingyuan immediately reached forward and, with teary eyes, said, "No! No, no, no! Forget everything he said! A-Yuan forget it all now! He's wrong, entirely wrong!"

All the while, Shen Qingqiu had sprung up and stormed away, shouting, and hitting anything he could wildly, screaming, "I'll kill him again! Where is his corpse!? I'll tear it limb from limb and let the beasts at it! Never allow him a proper burial! Where is the damned bastard!?"

The dual reactions made his head spin, and it was hard to pinpoint where each voice was coming from when he couldn't see, so with a hand too small to do any damage, Shen Yuan slapped at his Da-ge's hands until he let him go. What was this he was hearing? "Kill him again?" What was his Er-ge screaming about!? What was with the extreme reactions!? His brothers never acted like this before!

What was going on!?

Yue Qingyuan was the first to realize their mistake in reacting in such a way and quickly lowered his tone to apologize. "Forgive your Da-ge and Er-ge, A-Yuan..." Clearing his throat, he tried again. "We...These brothers of yours, hearing you say such things, it's just startling."

"And not true! Clarify that! Don't let him think such nonsense is a fact!" Shen Qingqiu screamed from across the room, still kicking and hissing as he stomped around to get his frustrations out.

Yue Qingyuan sighed softly before turning back to Shen Yuan to say, "It's also not true. While one must take responsibility for oneself, it is not the fault of the person for the clothes they wear or the...the place they may take their employment, for the reaction another person may have. For someone...anyone to do such things...to behave so with such depravity is shameful and nothing less than a stain on their character that can never be forgiven."

Shen Yuan pursed his lips at the statement. While he knew that it was never the fault of the victim, weren't there limitations to how a person should act and dress? "This one understands that it isn't the fault of the victim, Da-ge...but aren't there still limitations?"

The question earned him a sharp scoff from across the room, and Yue Qingyuan tried to make a gentle sound to coax that man silent again, until said man came from across the room, standing before Shen Yuan as he lowered himself enough to cup his Didi's face. "No. Not when it comes to that." He said resolutely. "While one must behave themself and dress properly out of self-respect and propriety, it still gives no one any right to another person's body. Even if someone is walking bare in the street, it gives no one else the right to that person, aside from looking away in disgust at such a display."

He was only able to nod in reply before his Er-ge pulled away his hands and sighed. "A-Yuan...please tell us...was there ever a time that...someone did something of that nature?"

There really was no point in lying, was there? "Not...Not completely. A few of Chen-ye's friends tried without him knowing...asking me to follow them away into a room...not just hugging me around the shoulders or holding my hand...they always smelled gross too."

Another choked sound came from Bai Daiyu, and the woman immediately hugged Shen Yuan, pushing his face into her shoulder as she cried, "A-Yuan, I'm so sorry, if I had known...or if I had seen it, I-I...I would've killed those men immediately! Little butterfly, I'm so sorry!"

Shen Yuan hugged her back, sighing when he felt her petting his head comfortingly. It really all was in the past now, it hadn't happened in this life, and it didn't hurt as much as it used to...but even still, it felt...comforting to hear someone else say something about it. "This one doesn't blame Jiejie...he didn't tell her because he knew Chen-ye might get upset with her if she did anything."

A quiet growl came from his right, and he heard his Er-ge mutter, "Yue-shixiong, where is the body? I'm mutilating that bastard's corpse."

"Xiao-Jiu...I don't think-."

"Don't Xiao-Jiu me!"

They still bicker the same way, it seems...Shen Yuan thought with a tight knot forming in his chest. When was the last time he ever saw...heard, his Geges actually get along? Where his Da-ge wasn't just trying to placate his Er-ge, and his Er-ge verbally berating their Qi-ge?

He never learned what happened to them, he never knew why they became the way that they did, nor did he ever understand why it was always his Da-ge trying to soothe his Er-ge, even going as far as to overlook the abuse that his brother inflicted on the disciple that deserved it the least.

A heavy pit grew in his stomach; he couldn't let that happen again. If Luo Binghe ever came to the sect in this life...he wouldn't let his brother get a hand on him, hell he would beg one of the other peak lords on his knees to take Luo Binghe if it meant that his brother wouldn't have the chance to nurture that darkness within the future saintly ruler of the Demon Realm.

Surely he'd face a better life in the hands of someone else, and he would be far away from both Shen Qingqiu and Shen Tianyan.

Far, far away.

Hell, maybe even in this life, he could actually convince his brothers to allow him to leave the sect, rather than being forcibly made to stay as he had been in the past life. He could become a rogue cultivator, not associating with any sect, but traveling around as he pleased, helping where he could, and living a peaceful and inconsequential life.

He could visit his Jiejie wherever she would choose to live, stay with her every now and then as he traveled, maybe even go back, and see his brothers every now and then, and above all else...

Stay the hell away from both Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe! Far, far away!

Their bickering finally silenced into a tense air, and Shen Yuan could practically see the placating and almost infuriatingly docile smile his Da-ge wore, while his Er-ge would scowl and turn away from him with the flick of his fan.

The telltale sound of a bamboo fan opening swiftly let him know that his assumption was entirely correct.

Some things never change. Shen Yuan thought with a soft sigh, jumping when that familiarly large and scarred hand gently rubbed at the nape of his neck again, drawing soothing circles into his skin as Shen Yuan instinctively leaned into it. His Da-ge used to always put him to sleep like this, rubbing circles into his back and neck until Shen Yuan fell asleep on his chest with his Er-ge curled tightly around him on the other side, and the three would sleep underneath a single ratty blanket to keep warm.

Even with such pitiful memories...it was those that Shen Yuan looked back fondly on the most. Where times had been hard on them, but at least the intricacies of their world were not so complicated, where at the very least he could look at his brothers...see them, hear them, and truly feel like he belonged...like he was safe, as long as he was with them...

But now...now it still felt like he was around strangers...strangers who used his brothers' voices, and strangers who undoubtedly wore his brothers' faces.

No matter the knowledge he had from his past life...he still didn't know them, he didn't understand them...and for whatever reason, he still couldn't help but be a little fearful.

"Does A-Yuan still fall asleep from this?" Yue Qingyuan's voice was lighter: happy, he sounded happy. When was the last time Shen Yuan heard his Da-ge genuinely happy? "It used to be so easy for this Gege to put his Didi to sleep. Has A-Yuan gotten worse with it over the years? Or could this Gege still put him to sleep easily?"

I wish you still could...I can't fall asleep at night anymore, Da-ge...I don't like to sleep anymore. I can't practice inedia now, but I still can't bring myself to sleep anymore, eating is hard too, all those memories come back, they never stop...Da-ge, would you understand me if I told you? We were in the same boat for a little while back then...we both were useless without Er-ge. I wish I had told you both back then. That I never hated you, that I was sorry for never telling you both the truth. Da-ge, would you forgive me now if I told you?

His heavy thinking seemed to be tangible as Shen Qingqiu rubbed his cheek with his thumb. "What is A-Yuan thinking so heavily about?" The soothing gesture didn't help; Shen Yuan recognized it. Whenever they would be stuck begging on the street, and Shen Yuan's arms and cheeks would be bruised from the child traffickers pinching him too hard to make him cry, his Er-ge would rub his cheek with his thumb. Soothing the bruises and cooing to him softly as he hugged him, keeping him close and safe as they sat on the street.

These memories that came back to him, small gestures that he hadn't felt in so long, did nothing but make his chest ache and his nose burn. Why did these things hurt so much? What had he done wrong that even the kindness of his brothers hurt him?

"A-Yuan!" Yue Qingyuan sounded alarmed now, and Shen Yuan quickly reared back from where he had been leaning against his shoulder, only to feel those large hands cup his face and wipe away a strangely watery yet thick liquid off of his cheeks.

Crying, he was crying. He was crying blood.

He tried to reach up to feel it, but a hand thinner than the ones cupping his face pushed his hand down as his Er-ge said, "Don't try to open your eyes." Suddenly, the bindings around his eyes vanished, and he quickly made sure he didn't try to open his eyes as material that felt like gauze was patted against his face before a wet cloth dabbed against his eyes, making them sting as Shen Qingqiu murmured, "I know it hurts, stay still for a bit longer." Another padding of gauze was placed over his eyes, and then the bindings came after, tying the gauze down and keeping any light from his vision.

If he even had vision, that was.

"Does it still hurt?" Yue Qingyuan asked, petting his head while Shen Yuan pursed his lips.

"Didi, answer us. Does it hurt?" Shen Qingqiu added, poking at Shen Yuan's cheek gently while the boy tried to curl in on himself.

It was only when he was pulled to lie across a strangely familiar and unfamiliar chest, a large hand rubbing circles into the nape of his neck while another slimmer hand prodded around the bandages across his torso and arms, that he finally cracked.

"Stop it...stop it..." He only curled up further, bringing his knees to his chest as he simultaneously tried to push away the hands that doted on him. He didn't want them to dote on him, he didn't want them to pity him, he didn't want...any of this! "I don't...I don't know either of you anymore...You're not...I don't understand any of this anymore!"

Shen Qingqiu and Yue Qingyuan both stared at the boy curled up away from them with a mixture of confusion and hurt, but Bai Daiyu quickly stepped in as she urged both of them back a bit as she asked, "Could A-Yuan explain what he doesn't understand? It will all be okay, little butterfly, but we want to understand what you mean."

Shen Yuan sniffled as he hugged his knees to his chest, hissing softly at the pain it caused. Stupidly weak body, stupid, stupid, stupid. You can't even handle this? How pathetic. Shen Yuan berated himself, subtly clawing at the bandages on his arms before his hands were taken into soft and demure ones, nimble fingers intertwining with his own to keep them from moving.

"What was A-Yuan saying?" Bai Daiyu asked again, sitting on the bed only a few inches from Shen Yuan. "This Jiejie will help her little butterfly understand whatever confuses him the best she can."

Nodding, he kicked his legs experimentally before saying, "I don't...I don't know Da-ge or Er-ge that well anymore...It doesn't-. Nothing feels right anymore...I-I don't know what either of them means, I don't know why they're here, and I-I...Everything hurts...It all hurts, I don't like it, I don't like feeling like this...I don't understand any of it!"

Immediately, a wrist was pressed against his cheek, and the sudden scent of rosewood and petrichor instinctively made him lean into it. He had only been around his brothers' scents a few times in his past life, but even still, the painfully unfamiliar scent was so...right. Bai Daiyu's hands were still intertwined with his, and the sweet scent of milk candy was still close to him; it felt...it felt relaxing.

"Can this Da-ge hug his Didi?" Yue Qingyuan's question both made him feel a little calmer and somewhat guilty, but regardless he nodded and was quickly scooped up to sit in between his brother's legs and hugged tightly, that same wrist returning to his cheek and neck as it rubbed soothing circles into his skin.

Scenting, was he being scented right now?

There was a hushed whisper, one he couldn't make out with his head pressed so snuggly against his Da-ge's chest, and then another body sat on the bed, making it dip as another hand cupped his face and he heard his Er-ge say, "Does A-Yuan want this Er-ge to hug him too?"

He didn't even mean to start crying when the question was asked, but for whatever reason, hearing it, and then finding that painfully unfamiliar scent of bamboo and ink that was just so clearly his Er-ge hit him in the chest with an unfamiliar pain, and he was quickly reaching out like a child begging for its parents.

Shen Qingqiu immediately hugged him, scenting him alongside Yue Qingyuan as he cooed to him, thumbing his cheek in that soothing way while Shen Yuan curled up in the mix of the embraces, entirely surrounded, but...so incredibly warm.

"We don't know Didi either, not that well anymore." Shen Qingqiu murmured, rubbing his shoulder gently on the parts that weren't marred with lashes. "But he is still our A-Yuan. He's still our Didi, even if he had a different name, we would know him, and he would be ours. We'll learn of each other again, we'll know each other just as well as we used to, it will only take some time."

Even if he had a different name? Er-ge...do you know just how badly our words hurt? Shen Yuan thought as he sniffled wetly and tried to wipe at his face, only to have Yue Qingyuan's hand wipe at it for him, cooing to him and hugging him just a little tighter.

"It's okay now, A-Yuan." He reassured. "Qi-ge and Xiao-Jiu will make sure that everything is okay from now on. Nothing will hurt anymore; it will all be okay. We will know each other just as we did before, your brothers are here because we love you. We would never leave you behind."

If he started crying again and his brothers had to wipe his tears and fix his bandages again before helping him into the new robes because he was so emotionally and physically exhausted, then it was no one else's business but his own.

He was swiftly handed over to Bai Daiyu, thoroughly scented and exhausted from such a bone-deep ache that he couldn't even move or stand on his own if he tried, there was a bit more shuffling as Bai Daiyu hummed to him and petted his hair until every limb went so utterly limp that he was more a ragdoll than a human, he could hear Shen Qingqiu and Yue Qingyuan murmuring to each other, their voices hard to diminish from one or the other without his sight, but at the moment, he found that he didn't care as much as he might have before.

He was just...tired.

"Didi, are you ready to leave now?" Yue Qingyuan was only a few inches away from him, clearly knelt so he was closer to Shen Yuan's ear as the boy made an unintelligible sound of agreement. The Qiong Ding Peak disciple chuckled at the answer, gently picking Shen Yuan up so he was cradled in his arms.

"Yue-Daozhang should ride with Xiao Yingzi, he won't let anyone else ride him but A-Yuan, and he would be most displeased if A-Yuan wasn't with him." Bai Daiyu spoke up and Yue Qingyuan hummed in agreement.

"Then Bai-guniang will ride on my horse instead." There was nothing else said before Shen Yuan felt Yue Qingyuan begin to walk, doors opening and closing before the cloak Shen Qingqiu had snugly tied around his shoulders was tugged on a bit to make sure it covered his mouth and nose as they stepped outside of the warm inn and into the cold.

Distantly, he could hear Xiao Yingzi whining, stomping his feet as they approached until the beast saw Shen Yuan and suddenly stopped, leaning down to sniff at the boy before huffing indignantly and allowing Yue Qingyuan to mount him with Shen Yuan in his arms.

"Didi should sleep for now, it will take us some time to get there, and until then, it would be best for him to rest." He said this as he began to rub circles into Shen Yuan's neck, all the while tugging on Xiao Yingzi's reins and nudging him along with the close sound of hooves hitting the ground behind them.

Da-ge...I don't sleep well, I won't be able to sleep, I'll just stay up with you. Shen Yuan thought mildly, snuggling just a bit more into his Da-ge's chest as the man's arm wrapped just a little tighter around him.

A tune suddenly pierced through the air, quiet and soothing, it sounded like the stream of a river in spring, like the song of the birds in the early morning after a rain shower, and the gentle winds of dusk when leaves fell from the trees, and the sounds of nature alone created a harmonious symphony.

He had forgotten how lovely his brother's guqin playing was.

Yue Qingyuan looked over his shoulder after some time of riding, the sun beginning to rise in the sky, as he checked on the two behind him. Bai Daiyu had fallen asleep riding, safe from the cold in her cloak with her reins tied to Shen Qingqiu's as the man stuck closer to her to lead her horse onward.

He couldn't help but smile at the sight; his Xiao-Jiu could be frosty towards people at first, but he truly was kindhearted if only people got to know him. Looking ahead, he checked their surroundings quickly before looking down and smiling just a little wider.

It was harder to tell with the wrapping around his eyes, but he could tell from his Didi's even breathing and the relaxed state of his limbs that left his entire body weight—which wasn't nearly as much as it should have been—leaning against his chest.

He looked behind him again, meeting those dark emerald phoenix eyes as he spoke quietly, "Qingqiu-shidi doesn't have to keep playing if his fingers are cold, A-Yuan is asleep."

Shen Qingqiu hummed knowingly, as though he had already known, which Yue Qingyuan wouldn't put past him. Regardless, another tune began to flow through the air, just as gentle, and just as relaxing, and he felt himself release the tension in his shoulders from the song.

Everything would be okay now.

He'd make sure of it.  

Chapter Text

"I think he is awake now..."

"He's been asleep for so long now, yet he didn't have a single injury. Who found him again?"

"I think it was Ping-shixiong,"

"That's right, they found him on the same day that Bai Zhan Peak's disciple was brought here; he's still asleep too, I think."

"The head disciple, right?"

"It was, it was! It was the same day that Yue-shixiong and Shen-shixiong came as well!"

"Keep your voice down!"

What annoying voices.

A soft groan came from the limp body on the bed, the flittering disciples around him immediately backed up to give him the room to sit up and take deep breaths. Eyes as dark as the night sky that shone with the light of thousands of stars opened slowly, peering around the room until a hand was waving in his face.

"Young man, can you tell me how many fingers I am holding up?" There were three in his face, and the strong scent of medicinal herbs that clung to the bare skin of this person's hands irritated him, so he slapped it away harshly.

"Away from this one, you clucking chickens!" The young man shouted as he swung out again, this time nearly hitting one of the three disciples who were circling around him.

"Someone brew some tea, his meridians seem to be a bit frazzled, perhaps he's in shock." Another hand was touching him, this time touching the inner part of his elbow, and it only aggravated him further.

"Away from me!" This time, his hit landed, and the disciple that had been checking his meridians was flung back through the adjacent wall. The two others looked through the hole worriedly for their peak sibling before slowly turning back to face the young man standing off the bed. "Tell me where I am!"

The two disciples were left in a state of shock, their peak brother had just been blown through the wall with one swift hit from this young man! They were still new to checking on patients without their Shizun or one of the senior disciples present! They were scared stiff!

Their silence only agitated the situation further, and the young man growled as he looked around again, his sights this time landing on the copper mirror in the corner. It was only when he saw his own reflection that he startled back, his ankles hitting the bed, and his head swimming.

He was a child!

Well...perhaps a teenager would be a better-suited term.

He was fourteen at the very least.

But he was at the very least a decade younger than he used to be!

There was still a youthful glow in his eyes, his face was still slightly rounded from childhood, and there was a significant lack of the demon sigil that marked him like a scar.

His head was pounding, and he had to clench his eyes shut as memories both old and seemingly fresh seemed to pound against his skull relentlessly.

"Shifu," a path long since worn into the ground was stained crimson, bodies of those he perhaps once knew lay across the once fresh grass, and he spared them not a single glance. He knew he was here; where else did his Shifu have to go? "This disciple knows you're here."

A familiar humble cottage came into view, surrounded by bamboo and wildflowers that he used to watch his Shifu dutifully tend to. He was always so tedious when it came to his gardens; it was almost frightening to now see how they were wilted and dying.

This sort of damage couldn't happen in a few days, not even a few months...had his Shifu given up on his garden?

He scoffed at the sight, ignoring the unfamiliar clench in his chest that made his lungs ache as he traversed further into the bamboo forest. The bamboo on Qing Jing would never die, so it didn't matter if his Shifu stopped tending to it, but it was overgrown, dead leaves left coloring the ground in a way Luo Binghe knew would normally aggravate his Shifu's refined opinions.

Even the cottage looked...haggard.

"Shifu!" He didn't bother knocking, he knew this place likely better than even Shen Qingqiu might have, there was nowhere his Shifu could hide in here that Luo Binghe wouldn't find him. "This disciple is hurt that his Shifu would ignore him so blatantly."

It smelled wrong in here.

His Shifu was tedious and tidy, he abhorred the muggy scent of dust or stagnant air. He always kept the windows open for at least a few hours a day to keep the air fresh, even if it was the dead of winter and would light some incense and candles afterward.

It smelled of old blood, stagnant air, and...rotting mint leaves, and sour vanilla.

The hairs on the back of his neck stood straight; something about this place was...wrong. It was so, so wrong.

He didn't make a sound as he studied the desolately quiet place. It seemed as if someone hadn't lived here in ages, and if they did, they only visited this place briefly. Books and scrolls were thrown about messily, clothes left unfolded and wrinkled on the floor, and in the washroom with the natural spring...

Bloody gauze pads, thrown-out bandages, an unseemly amount of basic medical supplies that looked old and used, yet Luo Binghe couldn't help but assume that it wasn't enough...that the supplies were rather...unbefitting of what it was used for.

He remembered the sensation of his blood mites scoping out his Shifu's body, finding those scars and the secrets long since hidden, and he couldn't help but stiffen at the thought.

"Shifu..." This time, he called out quietly, leaving the cottage with nothing more than a thump of the door closing. Yet, when he looked out at the small room only a few meters away...he couldn't help but feel compelled to enter.

The room was clean, tidy...spotless.

Old clothes that would never fit him now were folded and hung in the closet. Small trinkets that he used to collect stacked carefully on the shelves, and books and scrolls were left in order of necessity on his desk.

Yet it wasn't the eerie perfection of his old bedroom that caught his eye, but the jade pendant that was left on display on top of the folded sheets.

He had lost it years ago...

Shifu...how did you–. He snapped himself from his thoughts, clutching the pendant near the point it shattered in his palm, and he stormed out of the old room as he stomped through the bamboo forest.

"Shen Tianyan! Enough! Come out now!" He could just use his blood mites, he could just force the man to come out of his hiding place, he could just track him down and make him face him...but he wanted that Shifu of his to come out willingly...it meant nothing if he forced him.

He scoured through the bamboo forest until he came upon a rippling waterfall that streamed into a crystal-clear lake. The water was clearly abundant with spiritual energy; it was clearly a place for meditation and recuperation, and yet before the bank of those clear waters was a grave.

His grave, to be exact.

Zheng Yang was mended, buried halfway in the ground with flowers and healthy grass grown around it with a single headstone that read out his name in carving that Luo Binghe knew to only be his Shifu's.

"Shifu...what have you done...?"

His patience having run thin, he honed in on his bloodmites, eyes scouring what he could see of the clearing, and yet...it was not what remained of Qing Jing that Luo Binghe's senses guided him toward.

But Qiong Ding.

It felt wrong...everything, it all felt wrong.

When he launched himself away from the clearing, a crater was left in the ground, and Xin Mo was unsheathed as he flew himself to the peak. The very moment he landed, he could already feel the overwhelming abundance of spiritual energy.

Pure...untainted spiritual energy. Yet so overwhelming and...frantic, it was hard to make out if it had been a coordinated attack or...a last chance.

The men of his army were lying about on the ground, dead or unconscious; he didn't care to check. However, the stench of blood and smoke was enough to reassure him that death had not come mercifully to the bodies strewn out upon the ground.

Demon and human alike. Spiritual and demonic, it was all the same; they were all bodies that bore the gore beneath his boots.

He heard a mumble, quiet and hoarse, he followed the sound until he was climbing the stairs to the ancestral hall.

He stopped halfway.

This had to be a lie, what was before him now...it had to be a lie.

"Shifu...this is a terrible ploy to trick me...it's enough now." What was left of the stairs was hurried past with ease. The blood that stained the very ground had long since turned black against the cobblestone, and Luo Binghe found himself lurching at the scent of rotting mint and sour vanilla with the lingering scent of iron and...rotting flora.

"Shifu...I said that is enough." He stood before him now, and yet, even with jet-black hair covering his face, Luo Binghe could hardly bear to spare a glance down at him. "Stop this..."

Shen Tianyan didn't respond; the chains—or what was left of them—that kept him upright and kneeling were digging into ashen skin, the blood had long since dried, and Luo Binghe found himself unable to bear the sight any longer.

There was a clatter, iron chains shattered under his hands, and that limp body fell forward without the means to keep itself upright, and the disciple watched in abject horror as his Shifu's head lulled to the side lifelessly, and all there was to see was a bloodied wrapping covering the gore of his eyes.

And the inkling black scar that had long since traveled up through his chest like the rotting of a tree.

"Tianyan..." There was no response. No kick or hitch of breath when Luo Binghe's arms wrapped around him, when that body was brought up to be held in his arms, displaying the wounds in his chest, and the scars that had long since marred his skin.

Luo Binghe stared at one in particular.

The inkling black scar that resembled ink splattering onto a painting and then streaking and cracking against the paper...it marred the mark, the signifying proof that...that Shen Tianyan, his Shifu was...

That what he had been, and always should have been...was Luo Binghe's.

That spilled ink stained the emerald book, rotting the vines wrapped around it. Dripping down onto the sword with the light blue tassels and jade pendant, and finally cracking through the signification of him.

It spread like the rot on a tree, it traveled up his chest and burrowed into his very bones. Yet it likewise spread downward, toward his solar plexus, where it seemed to try and burrow itself in the empty cavity there.

It was also where it met the other scar...the other poison, perhaps.

He recognized this poison, it was the same one that headstrong elder had declared himself to be armed with when the invaders came to Cang Qiong Mountain Sect and challenged the sect to a duel. It was the same one he knew to be harmless to demons, to someone like him, but incurable for humans.

That day came back to him, and he couldn't help but wonder now. Why had his Shifu disappeared so quickly after the invaders had been handled?

"Shifu...what lies have you told to me? What secrets have you kept?"

His eyes traveled up, and there he saw the Bai Zhan Peak Lord, kneeling with his sword in his hands, covered in blood, with his clothes ripped and disheveled.

He almost overlooked him if not for the mark he saw on the man's chest.

The same one his Shifu now bore with scars marring through the design, and the very one that still hummed with vibrant life over his heart.

The body in his arms became all that much colder, and Luo Binghe couldn't help but look down at the bloody face of his Shifu and laugh. "Shifu...did you know? What lies have you told me? Shifu!" His laughter broke into a strange sound, one between a shout of pain and a cry of horror, and yet, all the same, it was nothing but hysterical laughter. "Has everything I've known been a lie? Shifu! Did you mean for this to happen!? Did you wish to watch your disciple go mad!?"

That man did not answer him, and with every shout, that cold and empty body jostled until he slumped into the heavenly demon's chest without the consciousness or life to understand or feel the way Luo Binghe's chest trembled, nor the way those arms tightened around him.

"Shifu...could you hate your disciple so much...? Was this one truly so awful that you couldn't bear to admit that we bore the same soulmark?" His hair felt greasy...as if it hadn't been washed in some time, and his limbs were brittle and thin, and his skin felt dry and bruised...such things couldn't happen in a few days. "Yet...back there...did you not take care of yourself? Why was there so much blood, Shifu? Tianyan? What did you do to yourself? What have you done?"

His eyes burned, and he felt himself trembling.

Those memories...he hated those memories.

However, the flittering disciples around him caught his attention before he could begin to spiral down into his own thoughts.

"Please calm down, we have to check on you." His head snapped to the shorter boy who cowered behind his peak brother. "Our Shizun can be here any minute if we call him! So, stay in line!"

"You dare tell me to stay in line?" He scoffed at the arrogance, taking a daring step forward as the two disciples jumped back in fright, enjoying the twin expressions of terror that twisted their faces. A mocking tone colored his voice sickeningly sweet with the promise of poison behind it. "I still have some questions to ask you."

"There we are," the canister of salve was set aside, the stocky peak lord humming as he examined his work. "I'm afraid your eyes cannot be entirely healed, but at the very least, they will not cause you any discomfort."

Shan Leilin, the Peak Lord of Qian Cao, from what Shen Yuan remembered of his single and brief visit in his past life, the man had a long beard, and he was quite stocky, leanly built with a peaceful presence of a Beta, and with a rather infectious laugh.

They had arrived at Qian Cao a few days ago, and he had been given a handful of pills and teas to put him to sleep while the peak lord worked his magic. From what he heard, his brothers had stayed in Qian Cao the entire time, while Bai Daiyu had been escorted to the guest quarters so the senior disciples could tend to her as well.

He quietly hoped that it would be Mu Qingfang tending to her, he was after all the best doctor that Qian Cao would ever know, and he had full confidence she would be well taken care of, even though he had never personally experienced Mu Qingfang's legendary medical skills, no matter the prompting he received in his past life.

He still felt rather groggy now that he had been awakened. The pain throughout his body was dulled to a hot ache, but it was ignorable in comparison. His leg was healed primarily, though it still felt rather sore, and his brothers were crowded around him like the towers of a wall.

Shen Yuan reached up to feel his face, the salve made his skin tingle, and his vision was still primarily gone. "Can the little Shen tell me what he sees, if he can see at all?" Shen Leilin asked, another dip in the bed let Shen Yuan know the Peak Lord had taken a seat.

"I can see..." He looked around and focused. "I can see the colors of Shan-xianjun's robes, and the colors of my Geges, but everything else is too blurry to make out. I can't see objects."

"Cataract blindness," the peak lord hummed, reaching over the side to grab another bag of pills as he said, "is when the lens of the eye is damaged. There are varying degrees; however, it seems that due to the damage faced, the little Shen appears to have it to somewhat of a severe degree."

From being unable to speak to being unable to see...What a cruel twist of fate. Shen Yuan thought bitterly, flicking his fingernails until a hand larger than his own grabbed his and squeezed them reassuringly.

"Is there anything that can be done?" Shen Qingqiu spoke up, his hand gently combing through Shen Yuan's freshly washed hair—seeing as the Qing Jing Peak disciple had a fit when he felt how greasy Shen Yuan's hair had been when they unbraided it that morning—and massaged his scalp to soothe him.

Shan Leilin made a skeptical noise but otherwise sounded hopeful. "It will take time, Shen Yuan's meridians were nearly completely destroyed; as if he had almost self-detonated," the peak lord pretended not to hear the quiet sound of shock that came from the head disciples, and the not-so-subtle hum of agreement from Shen Yuan, "there is a chance his sight can improve as his cultivation improves, and once he reaches Mid Core Formation, the scars on his chest and torso should fade to some degree, however, he has a damaged immune system and fractures throughout his meridians, there is no telling how his body will respond to it all until he gets older."

"So, there is nothing that Shan-shishu can do?" Yue Qingyuan asked dejectedly, squeezing Shen Yuan's hands just a little tighter.

"I didn't say that," Shan Leilin chuckled, handing over the bag of pills to Shen Yuan, who felt the bag for a moment before passing them off to Yue Qingyuan. "If he takes that every morning and night before breakfast and after dinner, it will help the recuperation of his meridians, and of course, he will be required to come to see me regularly, let's say...twice a week?"

"Twice...?" Shen Yuan mumbled bitterly. "Is it really necessary, Shan-xianjun?" Don't get him wrong! He was appreciative of everything that the peak lord had done for him thus far, and how kind he was being about it, but twice!? He wasn't some crippled child who needed to be coddled! It was already bad enough that he was in Cang Qiong; he didn't need to be known as the disciple who was so weak he had to practically live in Qian Cao!

Heavens forbid it...will I have to join Qian Cao because of this!? Mu Qingfang, never learn of what I say now, but I can't! What could a blind fool do, huh!? I don't have the sympathy to be a doctor! I'll end up getting somebody killed!

Shan Leilin laughed at his grumble, patting his head while Shen Yuan shrank away from the affectionate action. The peak lord was friendly and all, but he was not; he didn't like anyone else touching him. Shen Qingqiu noticed and unabashedly popped the peak lord's hand as if the man were nothing more than a toddler touching something he shouldn't.

Unoffended by the reaction, the peak lord merely laughed it off as he said, "Very well, that is a little excessive. Little Shen is quite resilient, once a week should be perfect. However, if there happen to be any complications or any cause for worry, he will be required to come more often, am I clear?"

"Yes, Shan-xianjun."

"How about you start calling me Shibo, huh?" Shan Leilin laughed while Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu both looked at the man quizzically.

"What does Shishu mean?" Yue Qingyuan asked. "Our Didi will likely be joining either Qiong Ding or Qing Jing so he can stay with us."

"He will be joining Qing Jing." Shen Qingqiu snapped.

Shan Leilin only chuckled at them, lifting himself off the bed as he said, "No matter what Yue-shizi and Shen-shizi may have planned, the other peak lords are allowed to have an opinion on where little Shen may go, no?" He stepped over to the bedside table, rummaging through a small medical bag to be sure everything Shen Yuan needed was inside. "I was hesitant to give up the opportunity to call a claim myself; however, I made a call to Hu Leiling since this master figured her expertise would be better suited to Shen Yuan's cultivation base."

Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu both went rather pale, neither having expected any of the other peak lords aside from Shan Leilin and their shizuns to be called to meet their brother, especially not with the potential to stake a claim on him as their own disciple!

Gritting his teeth, Shen Qingqiu asked, "I'm afraid that we don't understand, it would be best if our brother went with us. Qing Jing would suit him wonderfully."

Shan Leilin laughed openly at that, shaking his head as he closed up the qiankun pouch and set it at Shen Yuan's side, which was practically Yue Qingyuan's lap. "Qing Jing? The peak of scholars!" He couldn't contain his laughter and ended up slapping the head disciple of the peak of scholars on the shoulder, which only earned him the older Shen's glower. "What good could you teach him? While I do not doubt that Shen Yuan is incredibly smart, it would be cruel to force him to try and keep up with his peak siblings with his disability. How is a blind disciple meant to read the books? How is he to learn to play the guqin? How is he to do calligraphy? Even playing Go would be difficult for him to learn in this state, and even if he has already learned it all, how is he to hone these skills without his sight? Not to mention Shen Yuan has a cultivation base of earth, Hu Leiling does as well, she could teach him best."

"He would be safer with us." Yue Qingyuan argued further.

"This lord can promise Yue-shizi that Ling Shou Peak is entirely safe." Shan Leilin countered artfully, grinning a little wider with each passing second as he watched both older brothers try—and fail—to keep the polite composure that was required of them.

How fun it was to watch people crack under an inconvenient situation!

Shen Yuan hummed softly; he remembered only vague things about Ling Shou. He didn't visit the peak often, and the Peak Lord of his generation, Ci Qinglong, was rather reclusive. From what he remembered of the woman, she was an Alpha, sturdy in stature, tall, and had the eyes of a beast with the fangs in her mouth to match.

"Could this one understand why Shan-shibo believes Ling Shou would be best suited for this one?" Shen Yuan asked after a brief moment of tense silence, unable to see the way both of his brothers pursed their lips or scowled at the idea.

Shan Leilin made an affirmative sound as he gently took Shen Yuan's hand, leading the boy to stand off the bed as he said, "Ling Shou is a peak run off of pack dynamics. It's a very familial peak, each disciple there is under the care of everyone, and no one is left to their own devices. In all things considered, it is the safest place for the little Shen." He cleared his throat when he saw Shen Qingqiu glaring at him. "Likewise, Hu Leiling is a very dutiful Shizun, and she takes in disciples of all kinds, no matter disability or otherwise. I told her of your abilities and condition, and she was happy to come and meet you."

Now that was a surprise. Like all of the other peak lords of the past generation, Shen Yuan had only ever met Guang Leishui, his shizun in his past life, and Shan Leilin. He never left the peak enough to meet anyone else, and if he happened to see another peak lord in quick passing, he was constantly too wrapped up in his own head to realize.

He never expected a peak lord to wish to meet him genuinely.

He knew that in the past life, the only reason Guang Leishui had taken him from the snow and brought him back from the brink of death was because she was too benevolent of a woman to stand by as a child died in the snow. No matter if that death had been entirely voluntary or not, and because she recognized his surname and connected the dots, he was related to her head disciple.

Had it not been for anything else, he would have died that night in the snow.

Sometimes he still wished it would have happened that way.

"Then this one will greet her respectfully." Shen Yuan murmured, still somewhat confused and unsettled, but he decided it was best to determine his stance on these things later.

"Perfect," Shan Leilin grinned. "She will be here any moment, this lord promises that Shen Yuan will favor her, she can be a little unsettling but—."

"Unsettling?" A cold chill ran through the room, and Shen Yuan felt his brothers crowd around him again while Shan Leilin audibly shut his mouth with a 'click' of his teeth. "Shan-shixiong, you wound me with your words. How could your Shimei be unsettling to you?"

Shan Leilin laughed without a shred of humor, sighing heavily as he patted his chest. "Keep speaking like that to your poor Shixiong, and Hu-shimei will understand just how unsettling it is to be snuck up upon like death itself."

Hu Leiling laughed at his words, taking careful steps closer as Shen Yuan listened to each footstep carefully. They were light and well placed, as if it were natural instinct for the woman to practically float rather than walk.

"How attentive..." Her voice was like that of a bird song, bright and cheery, yet with its own methodical eeriness that left Shen Yuan reeling. "Shan Leiling told me that you have only been blind for less than a few days, and you are already learning how to adapt your senses to the world around you, you listen carefully to see how close this lord got to you, and you understood where to stand based off of the position of your brothers, how innovative!"

What...What kind of praise was that!? I feel like a show exhibit! Shen Yuan fiddled with the sleeves of his robes nervously, instinctively pushing himself into his brother's side while Yue Qingyuan wrapped an arm around his shoulders, Shen Qingqiu doing the same to hold his hand.

"Forgive us, Hu-shishu, but our brother is rather shy, and I'm afraid it's best if he comes to Qiong Ding or Qing Jing after all." Yue Qingyuan smiled politely, tussling the hair that hung over Shen Yuan's shoulders gently.

Hu Leiling chuckled at him, shaking her head as she stepped forward again. "Protective, it seems, though this one isn't too surprised, I would be more worried if you both were rather negligent." Shen Qingqiu growled softly at the statement, a warning even to the peak lord that such assumptions were not taken kindly, and the woman only waved her hand at him as she kept her sights on Shen Yuan. "However, a flower must be given room if it is to sprout and grow. You and Shen Qingqiu are too close to this situation. While I understand the trauma of losing someone you love, only to get them back broken and hurt, we cannot let the past dictate our future."

Shen Yuan heard the tussling of robes and suddenly realized from the sudden rush of air to his face that the woman was crouching before him to be at eye level with him. "Shen Yuan, on my peak, you will be given the chance to cultivate with all manner of beast and flora. You will focus solely on spiritual and perhaps musical cultivation once we set up the basics for you. Your disability will be of no hindrance, and you will be allowed to have your own freedom to go wherever you like as long as we are sure you will be safe physically and mentally. Would you care to join Ling Shou Peak?"

The term 'freedom' caught Shen Yuan's attention rather immediately. Even in his past life, that was one thing he never had, no matter where he went. Freedom...Would he truly be free? How could a crippled bird fly? Who could offer such a creature freedom?

"Will I really have my freedom?" Shen Yuan questioned seriously, and Yue Qingyuan's arm tightened minutely around his shoulders, something he didn't miss.

Heavens forgive him, he loved his brothers, and he loved his Jiejie...but it was always the ones he seemed to love that took that freedom from him. Just this once...would it be wrong to hope for such privileges? Even if it was only for a little while?

Hu Leiling hummed softly at his question as she said, "Of course. Ling Shou believes in the theology of individualism." She stood from her position, already having her answer. She smiled just a little wider when she saw both brothers hugging their baby brother just a little tighter. "You will be allowed to travel within the peak freely, for the time being, you will have a guide so you don't get lost. You will be allowed to travel to the other peaks whenever you like, as long as one of your Shijie or Shixiong knows so you can visit your brothers, and as long as you are not gone longer than a week, you are free to traverse the forests at the base of the mountain. We will discuss you leaving the territory of Cang Qiong entirely and you going on missions with your Shixiong and Shijie once your cultivational base is entirely established."

That was...far more than fair.

Shen Yuan pursed his lips, contemplating the offer. He loved Qing Jing, it was his home for so long, he would miss his little cottage in the deep bamboo grove, and he was sure that if he stayed with his Da-ge, he would love Qiong Ding just as much...

But would he have his freedom?

Would his brothers change their ways? Or would they shackle him to Cang Qiong just as they had done before?

He loved them...he didn't want to leave them; he just got them back...

But he wanted to be free.

Bowing deeply from the waist, he gave his answer. "This humble one is honored to join Ling Shou Peak, Shizun."

If he felt Shen Qingqiu's hand tighten and Yue Qingyuan's arm stiffen, he didn't voice it, and he vehemently chose to ignore it. Hu Leiling, on the other hand, smiled brightly at the answer. "This Shizun of yours is happy to hear it. I'll call for your Da-Shijie to come to retrieve you and show you, Ling Shou, she will also be your guide until you are entirely familiar with the peak and the safest paths to Qiong Ding and Qing Jing. Shen Yuan will find that she is incredibly welcoming and primarily agreeable...as long as you don't let her talk your ear off."

"A splendid idea, Shimei." Shan Leilin hummed, waving his hand at the two brothers. "You two come with us, we will discuss this as well with Bai Daiyu. Since the three of you are Shen Yuan's guardians she needs to be informed of this as well, will Shen Yuan be alright by himself for a little while?"

Shen Yuan nodded, backing up a bit until he felt the bedpost with his heel and swiftly sat himself on the sheets. "This one will be alright, Shibo."

Shen Qingqiu took his hand as he said, "We won't be far, but in case Didi needs us," he pulled out a talisman from his robes, putting it in Shen Yuan's open palm, "Didi only needs to rip that in half and we will come back immediately."

Shen Yuan nodded, setting the talisman on his lap while Shen Qingqiu squeezed his hand a final time before letting go, allowing Yue Qingyuan to take his place as he kissed Shen Yuan's temple. "Rest for now, Didi, we will get something to eat once we get back."

Shen Yuan huffed at this, while he didn't mind the idea of food—he was getting a little hungry anyway—he didn't need to be babied! Damn it even if he didn't look like it, he was technically a grown man! Not to mention, even now he was fourteen! He was damn well old enough to be left on his own, sight or no sight! "I've been resting for days, Da-ge...I'm fine."

Yue Qingyuan hummed teasingly at the statement, ruffling Shen Yuan's hair as he said, "A-Yuan isn't that big yet, your Geges are still allowed to spoil him."

"You do it too much." Shen Yuan retorted as he soundly swatted in his Da-ge's general direction, smirking when he landed a few good hits on his chest.

"Do as we say." Shen Qingqiu cut in, popping Shen Yuan's hand down while the teenager scoffed at him again, this time receiving a pinch to his cheek. "Behave yourself, Didi. We're your Geges, we know what is best."

Shen Yuan grumbled at that but otherwise put up no other fight as he heard the group leave, allowing him the moment alone to fall on his back on the bed, sighing heavily as he set the talisman on the sheets next to him.

His brothers really did baby him too much in this life...

Though...it was a lot better than the three ignoring each other. Never speaking, never sitting down with each other, never just...being a family. They never really got the chance to be a family again, did they? It was always something tearing them apart, pushing and pulling until they all were left in their own worlds without a single key for the others to enter or for themselves to leave.

It was...It was lonely like that. He didn't miss it, the unbearable quiet that had made his mind play tricks on him, that had made his heart pound erratically, and that had left him fighting and kicking in his sleep at the terrors that tried to wrap their chilling hands around his throat, dragging him away, and never letting him return to the light.

"Ling Shou might not be so bad after all..." He said aloud, realizing absently that it was too quiet again.

Had he ever liked the quiet?

Suddenly, it wasn't quiet anymore, and a heavy crash came from down the hallway.

Shen Yuan shot up from the bed, instinctively jumping down and crouching low to the ground as he listened out for another sound. Was there a fight going on? Wasn't Qian Cao a rather peaceful peak? Why would someone be fighting?

Once again, there was another crash, a few heavy blows exchanged, and some grunts, and then an all too familiar voice roared, "Beast!"

There was no way he could forget that voice, nor displace it, but that didn't mean it was something he had wished to hear. "Damned by the heavens and damned by the fates."

He was naturally a light sleeper, perhaps by his training or perhaps just out of born habit. Regardless, the second he heard what sounded like wood breaking and a body hitting the floor not far from him, he sprang into action.

He was already on his feet before his eyes had even adjusted to the light. His vision swam, and his head ached. Wherever he was...he was alone, but he could hear shouting, it wasn't too far away from him. What was going on? Where was–.

"Qian Cao?" His own voice startled him. Raspier and a little higher than he remembered. Looking around, there was no mistaking the dim walls that were decorated with calligraphy that was meant to relax the patient who occupied the room.

He knew this place too damn well to mistake any of these paintings.

But it had...it had all burned down, he saw it with his own eyes, he had been too late. How was it here? How was he here? The last he remembered...they were in the grand hall...

"Tianyan..." The name alone made his chest ache, and he immediately scanned the room until he found Chen Luan resting in the corner. Sheath clean of any scars and signs of the battle they faced together, the second he grabbed the hilt, he immediately noticed a difference.

His hand was only just able to wrap around the hilt; it no longer overlapped.

He looked down at himself and then around the room again until he caught sight of a copper mirror and looked at his reflection, shouting in alarm at what he saw. "What the hell!? I'm a teenager again!?" He was shorter than he last remembered, somewhat thinner as well, and he could practically feel the inexperience this body of his held within his very bones.

But...it was still clearly his body, this wasn't an act of possession...

Was he in the past? A different life? If so, where was everyone else? What of Cang Qiong? If Qian Cao still stood in its glory, was the rest of the sect all right?

Where was...

"Tianyan..." This time, the name burned his tongue, and memories far too painful for him to stand came crashing back at him.

The smoke burned his lungs, he couldn't move, and the taste of iron was forever lasting on his tongue. Whatever he had been hit with, whatever poison they had used, left him immobile. He couldn't even open his mouth to speak; he saw rather than felt his knees hit the ground as the demons forced him to kneel.

If he was going to die, he wasn't dying that easily. He prepared to summon Chen Luan with his spiritual energy, but found that it was blocked, and he cursed himself internally for his carelessness. Death was upon him; he could feel the presence of the hammer behind his head, preparing to strike the final blow. He looked forward, he wouldn't cower, but what he saw made this death sentence all the worse.

Shen Tianyan...

His arm was broken, twisted, and pulled into an inhuman position, and he was still struggling and fighting against the ice demon that held him down.

What the man shouted made every pain all that much worse. "Leave him! Do you hear me!? Leave him! Kill me, that's fine! Leave him!"

No...No don't. Don't kill him! Tianyan, what are you doing!? Run! Run now! The words wouldn't leave his throat, and he felt his throat ache from his attempt. The demon that held him back raised his hand, and Liu Qingge felt the presence of the hammer leave before the demon forced Shen Tianyan down on his knees again.

He saw it too late, and he heard it before his very muscles tore from his efforts to break free.

Screaming, terrible ear-piercing screams tore through the air, and Liu Qingge was unable to move as he watched as the wound on Shen Tianyan's throat bled and fresh blood pooled from his lips.

That's why he never spoke...he never could...

It felt like a millennium before the screaming died out, and he was left to watch as Shen Tianyan's head lolled forward, blood running down his face in bloody tears where his eyes should have been, as his body was shoved forward and left to lie on the ground.

It was only past the smoke and blood that Liu Qingge finally found that dull and aching scent of mint leaves and vanilla. It was only then that his body responded.

It was as if he was shattering every bone in his body, every muscle and tendon tearing as Chen Luan finally obeyed him. He tore through every demon with his bare hands and Chen Luan alike, his body screamed in protest, everything burned and howled in agony, but he didn't care.

It was only when he saw Shen Tianyan breathe that his energy left him entirely, and he fell to his knees with only Chen Luan to support him. If he had uttered his name, if it was finally audible, he would never know.

He felt the presence just as the ice demon that had taken Shen Tianyan's eyes prepared to deliver the final blow in retribution for his slain comrades. He saw Hui Qu embed itself into the demon's chest before he was even given the chance, and he watched as Shen Tianyan pushed himself up from the ground.

He saw blood staining everything, he saw the way Shen Tianyan's throat and chin were covered in blood, and he saw the black cracking scar that seemed to travel up from inside his robes further up to his chest, nearly at his heart.

But at his heart...was the very mark he had borne since he had come of age.

It was cracking...black was slowly bleeding through the vine-encased book that Liu Qingge remembered always staring at whenever he got the chance to look in the mirror.

He saw the black slowly cracking through the book and further down until it seemed to be directing itself to his solar plexus.

He felt the way his very heart tore into itself at the sight.

"...Qingge..."

Don't speak, I'm right here, it hurts you; I know that now. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm right here, just give me a minute, and I'll get you out of here. He wanted to say it all, he wanted to say it again and again, but he wasn't given the chance as Hui Qu tapped against Chen Luan, and he was suddenly being hoisted up by his arms and hugged around his torso to keep him standing.

Why are you strong like this? Let me do it, I don't need you to do this. Run, far away, run as far as you can. I'll catch up, just get away from here.

Shen Tianyan was no mind reader, and of course, he didn't listen to Liu Qingge.

They took off on Hui Qu, Shen Tianyan having taken Chen Luan from his hands, and Liu Qingge realized once they landed on the stairs of Qiong Ding Hall that the grand hall had yet to be taken. The moment they entered, he was set down against a pillar and was only able to slightly crane his head to look around.

He could see the torches lit in each chamber of the burial halls for each peak lord...aside from two...Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu...

Did you bring them all back here? How did you...why would you do this? His questions were left unanswered as he heard the heavy doors of the ancestral hall close and Shen Tianyan slide down them.

The next thing he heard was the sickening crack of a joint going back into its socket and the hoarse cry of pain from the man leaning against the door. He couldn't move, he couldn't help, and he couldn't bear to watch like this. His eyes were able to close, and he heard his soul praying before he even realized. Praying to move, praying for his strength, praying for any miracle, any sign of mercy from the heavens.

Praying for him...

He was never one to pray before.

"...Qingge..." He was limping over to him, his right sleeve torn off and wrapped around his eyes, revealing the way that same black crackling scar seemingly spread to his arm, nearly past his elbow. "I'm...I'm going to help."

He tore at his clothes to use as gauze and wrappings as he patted down the peak lord's chest, arms, and legs. Feeling for any injuries and doing his best to mend them while he sent out weak trills of spiritual energy.

Stop it...Stop doing this, don't do this. Don't do this, run away, please run. If you don't leave, then at least lie down. Stop it. Please stop it.

Of course, Shen Tianyan didn't listen to his thoughts.

He only stopped when he was seemingly satisfied, and his back hit the cold floor rather unforgivingly as Liu Qingge instinctively tried to reach out to soften the fall, realizing bitterly that he was still unable to move.

There was a terrible and unbearable silence for a long while, and Liu Qingge felt his heart rate spike rapidly when he realized he hadn't heard Shen Tianyan speak or even breathe for some time. He tried to move, but every movement felt like his bones were shattering and his muscles tearing, he was only able to adjust himself to sit up properly when Shen Tianyan started speaking, coughing up blood with every sentence.

"...I really didn't mean to lie for so long..." He started coughing again, groaning and whimpering with a strange vulnerability that made Liu Qingge angry...

It's okay, I don't blame you.

"...I-I was scared when I first came here...Alphas scared me...even my brothers...they didn't know either...except for Qi-ge...but he found out on his own...I always wanted to tell someone and explain what happened to me at the...the brothel, what that man did, and why I–." He coughed again, it was clearly painful, and yet Shen Tianyan began to laugh at it.

Delirious, he was delirious from his pain.

Alphas scared you? What did that man do to you? What brothel? I always thought you and Shen Qingqiu were...I'm sorry.

"W-Why...Why I...can't speak...Maybe I-I...should have...ah, gone to...Mu-shidi about...it. But I was...I was worried he'd tell someone...so only Qinghua knew...and Qi-ge...but he c-couldn't do much..."

You didn't even go to him? Why would you go to that traitor instead of Mu Qingfang? I would have taken you...I'm sorry.

He fell silent again, and Liu Qingge wanted to scream, he wanted to talk, he wanted to apologize, he wanted...he wanted so much. He wanted so much to give Shen Tianyan his eyes, show him his soulmark, and let him know that at least he was here...at least they were here together...

He could hear the marching of feet outside, he could hear the army climbing the stairs of Qiong Ding, and he couldn't help but long for death before they made it inside.

Shen Tianyan didn't deserve to die by their hands, but he didn't deserve to die like this either; he didn't deserve to die at all. But at the very least...they'd be dying together...

He'd protect him through the underworld. He'd heard rumors from some sages that blind ghosts had trouble in the underworld. Liu Qingge would help him; he'd be his guide.

"Qingge...they're outside...are you awake?"

I'm awake, I'm right here.

Shen Tianyan didn't read his mind, so he pushed himself off of his back and crawled over to Liu Qingge, all the while the peak lord tried with all of his might to say a single word.

"Liu-shidi...I need you...Cang Qiong needs you...Please don't die."

I won't, I won't die first. I'll make sure they don't get you. Just stay here, lie down again.

Shen Tianyan placed a hand against his chest and hissed when he felt the poison in his system. There was a weak thread of spiritual energy sent out through his meridians, and Liu Qingge wanted to tell him to stop.

He didn't get the chance before Hui Qu was unsheathed and Shen Tianyan was standing...

Walking away.

He was walking away.

He was walking away from him.

What are you doing? Don't go outside! Don't you hear them! They'll hurt you if you go outside! Stay in here! Stay in here! Stay with me!

"Liu Qingge, please survive...if anyone can fight Luo Binghe, it's you."

What do you mean!? I'll fight him! I'll kill him! Stay here! Stay here! Tianyan! Don't leave! Don't leave me!

Just as Shen Tianyan spoke, he reared back his hand, and with a rush of wind, the heavy and wide doors to the ancestral hall opened with a deafening slam. The demons that had been trying to open the doors and those who had been against the walls were all crushed by the doors, and Shen Tianyan released Hui Qu into the air as he whistled sharply.

He was only able to watch.

Come back.

He was only able to watch as Shen Tianyan fought.

Don't do this.

As he fought for their home, as he took down demon after demon, blind. He was only able to watch as his movements became sloppy, and that same black crackling scar traveled further and further up his torso, and that inkling black stain across their soulmark practically pushed its way down until both eerily similar yet entirely different scars practically circled his solar plexus.

What happened to you? Who gave you those scars? Where were they from? How long have they hurt you?

He was only able to watch as the chains came for him.

No.

He was only able to watch and listen as they latched on, as the ribs of the eagle joint chain tore through bone and flesh, and he wailed.

Stop, no.

He was only able to listen and watch as they hung him up, as they laughed and cajoled him to fight again, others calling to kill him immediately. He was only able to listen as that same voice...that terrifying soft voice began to sing.

Don't die here, please don't die here.

He moved.

He moved despite the agony, he moved despite feeling his bones shattering, he moved despite his muscles and tendons tearing. He used Chen Luan as a prop; he limped and crawled until he was at the doors, and he was able to see.

He saw Hui Qu raised in the air, churning with the spiritual energy of its master, glowing a brilliant holy white, the same bright light as the spiritual core that practically shone through the flesh and bone of Shen Tianyan's body.

He heard the song end with an eerie note.

He saw the sword come roaring down, aimed directly at his heart.

Stop! No! Please! Tianyan! NO!

"Live well...both of you."

When the blade hit its mark, a blast of bright and holy light erupted from the entrance of the ancestral hall, the demons that had crowded in Qiong Ding were all either sent over the side of the mountain from the blast or pieced through by the physical blasts of the condensed spiritual energy, clearing the entire grounds.

Liu Qingge was sent flying back into the hall.

There was a ringing in his ears, his limbs burned, and he could hardly breathe.

He crawled, he dragged his body across the tile even after his fingers were bloody and he could no longer see his nailbeds. He grabbed Chen Luan and forced himself up he stood despite the roar of agony that tore through his throat. he hobbled until he was able to stand against the pillar at the entrance.

He collapsed the second he saw him.

He collapsed when he saw the corpse.

When he saw those black inkling and crackling scars having practically buried themselves into the vacant spot in his chest, when the inkling scars had traversed up past their soulmark and crawled up his neck, nearly at his nose, crawling and burrowing deep into the bone like rot on a tree.

Chen Luan embedded itself into the ground; it was the only thing holding him up as he collapsed to his knees and screamed with every bit of force he had left, screamed until he could feel the blood fall down his chin, screamed until there was no air left in his lungs.

"...Tianyan..."

He saw nothing else as the darkness consumed him viciously, taking him without warning or mercy, unwilling to allow him a final fight, cruel as it forced him to look away for a final time.

Tortorus, as the final presence of reality, left him with the sound of heavy footfalls slowly coming up the steps of Qiong Ding hall.

He collapsed again, knees hitting the wooden floors as he panted raggedly.

Those memories...his past life. It had to be his past life.

A growl ripped through his throat, and he pushed himself to stand and barrelled out of the room. From the looks of it, he was at least fifteen or sixteen now, which meant that Shen Tianyan was definitely here.

He was still alive.

However, the moment he entered the hallway of the medical wing, he discovered what had caused all that ruckus earlier.

Eyes as black as the night sky with stars to match stared directly at him.

They locked gazes for a long moment, one entirely stupefied by what he saw, as if unbelieving of the person that stood before him, and the other overcome with rage that it forced his limbs to freeze.

Until that rage thawed and he pounced.

That person crashed through two different walls, all the while Liu Qingge jumped after him, preparing to strike another blow when that person raised his hand and caught Chen Luan in his hand, cutting his palm as he stared at the Bai Zhan Peak Head Disciple with a mixture of confusion and annoyance.

He threw his own hits, Liu Qingge taking them easily as he retorted with his own. Their strength was nowhere near evenly matched, and yet the person before him didn't back down. "Isn't this strange..." Luo Binghe chuckled, his voice lighter and higher from youth, but it still had the same aggravating effect that Liu Qingge remembered.

Liu Qingge reared back, pulling Chen Luan from Luo Binghe's grasp as he roared, "Beast!"

From a single room away, Liu Qingge heard muttering, but he ignored it in favor of slamming Luo Binghe through another wall. The young man went flying through the wood, landing on the other side with a grunt as Liu Qingge pounced in after him.

Luo Binghe was only narrowly able to avoid having the Bai Zhan Peak Head Disciple land on top of him with Chen Luan drawn and ready to deliver the final blow. However, the moment he rolled away, and he and Liu Qingge both were left facing in the same direction, the two staring at each other became three.

Well, perhaps it was still only two.

Liu Qingge was the first to recover from the shock. "Shen–." However, he was unable to finish what he was going to say as a heavy chair was flung in his general direction, hitting him in the head as he was knocked back on his ass.

Luo Binghe recovered next, luckier than Liu Qingge as he was able to dodge the stool that was thrown in his direction as well. He said nothing as he tried to come closer, he would recognize this person anywhere, so it was of no surprise to him to see a younger version of his Shifu before his very eyes, curled up against the foot of the bed holding a hefty-looking book.

"Stay away from me!" Shen Yuan screamed. he heard the wooden floors creak beneath the young man's weight and quickly scrambled to get away. Luo Binghe, however, obeyed the opposite of the command and dared to stand straight as he tried to come closer.

"Beast! Get away!" Liu Qingge shouted once he recovered from being hit in the head so unexpectedly, charging at Luo Binghe with Chen Luan at the ready. In such a wide and open space, there wasn't much for him to hide behind or use as a shield to avoid being sliced in half by Chen Luan. But regardless, he held his own, hitting back where he could, and swiftly dodging the attacks of the sword.

It also helped whenever he dared to inch closer to this small version of his Shifu. Liu Qingge seemed rather persistent to keep him away from him, likewise, he was just as persistent to make sure that he didn't harm the young man who still crouched at the foot of the bed.

Liu Qingge...did you happen to know as well back then? I wonder if you know now. Luo Binghe couldn't help but scowl at the thought. Why would his Shifu tell this hotheaded brute anything before he told him?

Shen Yuan, however, was positively mortified.

Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe!? Both at the same time!? How was that possible!? He knew for a fact that he was at least a decade older than Luo Binghe! He should have only been a toddler at this point in time!

Yet here he was! Seemingly close to his age, if his voice was anything to go off of.

And he and Liu Qingge were fighting! Viciously at that! Although it seemed to be rather one-sided, at least from what he could hear. It seemed that only Liu Qinggge wielded a blade, and Luo Binghe was surviving off of his wits alone.

It's going to happen again...I didn't have any time to prepare. Even if Luo Binghe is older now...what will that change? What if he joins Qing Jing Peak? What if he already has!? Shen Yuan's thoughts spiraled, and he scrambled to feel about the sheets on the bed, trying to find the talisman as he tried to stay as far away from the sounds of fighting as possible. It's going to happen again...Da-ge, Er-ge...I just got them back–. I can't lose them again! But they're both here! They already hate each other, and it's happening again! I couldn't change a thing! It's going to happen again!

His fingers finally brushed across the paper, and Shen Yuan immediately clutched onto it, quickly tearing it in half as he felt the paper turn to ash in his hands. He fell to his knees, swiftly scooting himself back against the wall as he listened to the fight.

He couldn't tell who was winning or losing. He could only hear the grunts and shouts; everything was too loud, and his ears were ringing. Each sound seemed to echo, and his stomach flipped and twisted until he felt like he was about to be sick.

His palms felt hot...everything felt hot. His head was pounding, and he couldn't focus. He...He was too scared to move; he didn't want to. His chest ached, and he suddenly couldn't breathe right.

He couldn't breathe. It was getting harder to breathe.

Hot terror washed over him, and in a final, desperate attempt, he screamed with all of the air in his lungs. "Da-ge! Er-ge! Gege!" He was barely able to gasp in another breath afterward, curling in on himself as he wheezed and struggled.

He really couldn't breathe.

However, his screams didn't fall on deaf ears, and both Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge ceased the moment they heard him scream. Both were rather confused, yet neither dared to move closer. It was only when Shen Yuan barely lifted his head to reveal his face that they both froze in place.

Cloudy and covered by a light haze, warm jade eyes were darker and less focused, unable to pick a place to look, and yet never able to pinpoint exactly where Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge were exactly.

Blind.

He was blind.

If they had dared to move forward, their attempts were futile as both were suddenly sent flying across the room. One hit the wall while the other was sent through the hole already in the wall.

"What the hell is going on here!?" Shen Qingqiu screamed.

Chapter Text

Luo Binghe grunted when he pulled himself from the wreckage of the wall, looking over only to see Liu Qingge slowly push himself away from the crater in the wall his body had created. However, both were left staring in either mild annoyance or outright fury at the sight of the Qing Jing Head Disciple.

Shen Qingqiu had drawn Xiu Ya, the sword pulsing with a violent light in his hand, and Luo Binghe especially wished for nothing more than to wipe that disgustingly rageful expression off of his face as he shattered the spiritual sword in his hand.

But he was a teenager at the moment, a weaker version of himself, even if his spiritual and demonic core seemed to be as present as he remembered, he was weakened, and from what he could tell, that demonic seal was reestablished on his demonic blood. Despite how it angered him to admit it, he would stand no chance against Shen Qingqiu like this.

Yue Qingyuan entered the room just as Shen Qingqiu drew his sword, immediately looking around in abject horror at the state of the room and his Shidis' and the boy who was crawling out of the hole in the wall.

"What happened here!?" Yue Qingyuan shouted, a mixture of shock and anger. A strange tone for the normally calm and peaceful man to take, but it was no less startling as it was commanding.

"Da-ge..." Yue Qingyuan immediately snapped his head over to the bed where Shen Yuan crouched low next to it, trying to use the bedpost as a sort of shield, however, he ultimately failed as he was still very much apparent in the room.

He ran over swiftly, kneeling as he wrapped his arms around Shen Yuan, hugging and cooing to him while the boy burrowed into his chest. "It's alright, A-Yuan. Da-ge is here."

Yuan?

Both Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe bore similar expressions of shock and confusion. All this time...they hadn't even been saying his real name?

Liu Qingge felt somewhat aggrieved; bitter almost. However, he ignored it as he stood and sheathed Chen Luan.

However, Luo Binghe only glowered as he stood and wiped the debris off himself. Shifu...all you are is secrets, it seems.

"Is he hurt?" Shen Qingqiu turned away from the Bai Zhan disciple and the stranger who now stood before him, Xiu Ya still at the ready just in case a mistake on their part was made.

Yue Qingyuan cupped Shen Yuan's face, looking him over as he patted down his arms. "Was Didi hurt anywhere?" Shen Yuan didn't reply verbally, only shaking his head as he buried his face in Yue Qingyuan's chest once again, clutching his robes in a death grip as he wheezed weakly.

The Qiong Ding Head Disciple pursed his lips at that, rubbing circles into the boy's neck as he said, "He's physically alright."

"Physically?" Shen Qingqiu hissed, sending a nasty glare at both Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe before he looked back at his Didi and Yue Qingyuan. "What else?"

Yue Qingyuan adjusted himself on the floor, allowing Shen Yuan to curl up against him. His breathing was weak and in uneven short spurts, the pulse Yue Qingyuan found against his wrist was erratic and frantic, and even with the hazy glaze over his Didi's eyes, he could still see the way his pupils contracted and his eyes instinctively looked around.

"It's a panic attack," he said nothing else as he continued to rub circles into his Didi's neck, scenting him, and making sure that his chest was aligned with Shen Yuan's, allowing his heartbeat to be felt against the boy's chest. "Focus on what's around you, Didi. It's alright, Da-ge is here." He whispered into the boy's ear, sighing when Shen Yuan only curled further into him, as though he was trying to hide.

When he saw that Yue Qingyuan had it handled, Shen Qingqiu turned back to face the two responsible, only to snarl when he saw how both of them...watched. They were fucking watching his A-Yuan as if they knew him; as if they had any right to even look at him, as if they cared.

He couldn't say he was all that surprised that the brute would cause a scene like this. That he would be responsible for something as dramatic as this, but this boy that he was fighting with...something about him made the fine hair of Shen Qingqiu's neck stand on end, and he couldn't help but want to slap him.

He pointed Xiu Ya at the boy, glaring as he said, "State your name and your peak." The stranger wasn't dressed in any robes that Shen Qingqiu recognized, only adorned in what appeared to be thick black robes with red accents.

The boy glared at him, an expression of disgust and contempt coloring his face dark, and Shen Qingqiu already felt like giving him the chance to speak was a mistake. "Luo Binghe. This one is no disciple of Cang Qiong Mountain, I only awakened here earlier."

"When you attacked Qian Cao's disciples." Liu Qingge hissed, a hand resting on Chen Luan's hilt where it rested in its sheath.

"Tell me, what would you do in this situation?" Luo Binghe mocked, grinning with far too many teeth to be just a genuinely sheepish smile. "Waking up in a strange place, surrounded by people you don't know? How was I to react? For all I could've known, I could have been kidnapped, sold, and transported halfway across the continent before I woke up."

"You say you're no disciple of Cang Qiong, so you know of our sect and where you are, and you still attacked!" Liu Qingge growled, fingers clasping around Chen Luan's hilt.

Luo Binghe merely laughed at him, cruel and without a hint of humor. "If I remember correctly, I only reacted as anyone would when waking up in a strange place when I first woke up. I realized where I was the moment you attacked me first. I suppose it is just a lucky coincidence that your skills weren't as adept, or there could have been serious damages and injuries."

"Luo Binghe! Want to start a fight!?" Liu Qingge drew Chen Luan, stomping forward while Luo Binghe grinned wildly.

"How unfair, fighting me while I stand unarmed?" Luo Binghe sauntered forward, clasping his hands behind his back as he came face to face with the Bai Zhan Peak Head Disciple. There was only a few inches difference between them in height, but Luo Binghe made up for the lack with a terrifyingly excited expression. "Here I thought Cang Qiong Mountain was a righteous sect with just as equally as worthy disciples! Who knew such rumors were nothing more than rose-tinted fabrications!"

Shen Qingqiu growled deeply from his throat, catching both of the younger Alphas' attention as he stepped forward and shoved the two of them apart. Liu Qingge hit the wall again while Luo Binghe stumbled over the wreckage of the room and fell on his ass.

"Ridiculous, both of you. Kill each other away from my brother. If you have to settle this, do it respectfully and quietly. Or have you both not done enough damage?" Shen Qingqiu turned away from them, and it was only at that moment that both Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge remembered the others in the room and looked over to see Yue Qingyuan standing with Shen Yuan standing behind him.

They both could see his eyes again, clouded and hazy with a glassy sheen that made it seem as if he were near the point of tears. Yet it was the way his eyes danced around the room, unable to find a specific location to focus on, and the small barely there scars across the bridge of his nose, which seemed to appear as nothing more than a light scratch rather than the scar it was, that were the telling factors that revealed his disability.

He really was blind.

But how had he become blind? That scar wasn't natural, and there were similar smaller ones at the corners of his eyes as if someone had tried to draw a line between his eyes and decided that both sides needed to match.

However, they were unable to say a single word as a few people barged into the room. Shan Lielin looked around at the wreckage, pale and exasperated, with a familiar face next to him. Mu Qingfang appeared rather unaffected, aside from the subtle annoyed twitch of his right eye. The three women next to them, however, all peered around the room with identical expressions of pure shock.

"Bai Zhan disciples...it's always the Bai Zhan disciples..." Shan Lielin groaned, rubbing his eyes while Mu Qingfang gently patted his Shizun's shoulder.

Hu Lieling recovered quickly, practically gliding forward as she came next to Yue Qingyuan, looking over the man's shoulder at Shen Yuan, who didn't move to greet her, instead staying behind his brother. Bai Daiyu came next, hurrying over just a little faster than the peak lord had, quickly taking to Shen Yuan's side as she looked him over worriedly.

Who is she? Luo Binghe squinted irritably. The woman could be no older than her mid-twenties; she still had a rather youthful glow to her features, yet she flittered over to Shen Yuan just as a worried mother would.

She was just hugging him...touching him without a moment's hesitation, and Shen Yuan was reciprocating...hugging her back, clinging to her, and seemingly whispering to her too quietly for him to hear.

His brow twitched from his irritation, and he suddenly wanted to hit something again. Glancing over at Liu Qingge and Shen Qingqiu, he chalked it up to the annoyance that was the Bai Zahn Peak Head Disciple and the Qing Jing Peak Head Disciple.

The final woman who entered, at the very least a few years older than Luo Binghe himself looked around with a bemused expression. Her feline-like eyes scanned the room, a grin splitting her lips to reveal the animalistic fangs that resided inside her mouth.

She looked more beast than woman!

When she was finally done looking, her sights locked in on both Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe. Her eyes bore through them, the slightest twitch of her brow and quirk of her lips revealing the entertainment she got from all of this, and Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge both couldn't help but take an instinctive step back from the woman.

How unsettling.

"Shen-shidi?" She called out thoughtfully, walking over to Yue Qingyuan as she waved sweetly at the Qiong Ding disciple before peering past him to see the boy who still hid behind his brother.

"Da-Shijie?" Shen Yuan murmured questioningly, and both Hu Lieling and the young woman smiled at the recognition. She grabbed the boy's hand, pulling him out from behind his brother while Yue Qingyuan gave her a chiding glare, however, the Ling Shou disciple only chuckled at him.

"This one will take you to Ling Shou now, yes?" She was taller than Shen Yuan, the top of the boy's head just barely reaching her chin, and Shen Yuan couldn't help but huff at the unfair advantage. Why was he so short!? Whose genetics did he inherit to suffer like this!? "This one is Ci Liang. Xiao-Shidi and I will have great fun exploring the peak together. Let us go now!"

It was no longer an offer but an order, and Shen Yuan yelped as he was tugged out of his brother's grip and pulled into open arms as the girl wrapped her arms around his shoulders and led him out of the room swiftly, an overwhelming scent of pine and sweet oranges infiltrating his nose and covering the suddenly spiked scents of a few of the others in the room.

Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe both instinctively tried to go after the disappearing Ling Shou disciples, only to have Shen Qingqiu stand in their way with a frightening glare. Luo Binghe glared back at him unabashedly, while Liu Qingge paid the familiar behavior no mind and tried to look past the other head disciple.

"What on earth even caused this?" Shan Lielin whined as he sifted through the knocked-over shelves and the spilled medicines, grumbling when he saw the mess of the room. "You Bai Zhan disciples! Agh! Somebody call Wu Liegang! If you two can fight like beasts in my infirmary, then go back to Bai Zhan!"

"Indeed, Madam Bai," she turned to Bai Daiyu, who still peered between the young men with a confused and conflicted expression, before directing her attention to the peak lord. "This one will show you the path to Ling Shou; you are more than welcome to visit whenever you please; however, it would be safer for you to live at the base of the mountain in our territories outside of the peaks."

Bai Daiyu hummed understanding, nodding only once to Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu before following the peak lord out of the room. "We will be leaving now Shixiong, take care, my disciple will come to visit you soon."

"Farewell, Shimei..." Shan Lielin groaned as he waved it all off as he hurried out of the room after his sect sister to call for his Shidi, while Mu Qingfang looked over the sorry situation and the aggrieved Qing Jing and Qiong Ding disciples with a passive expression.

"Shen-shixiong, Yue-shixiong, Ci-shimei won't be back for some time, perhaps this should be settled at a later time once Wu-shibo is here to collect his disciples." Mu Qingfang was the same age as Yue Qingyuan and only a year older than Shen Qingqiu; the three were the oldest head disciples, and as such, normally worked together fairly well.

Aside from this time.

"Why should I wait? They attacked my brother!" Shen Qingqiu hissed, gesturing to the two vaguely while Yue Qingyuan looked between Shen Qingqiu and the two with a conflicted expression.

He was the future leader of Cang Qiong; he was trained to look at a situation from every possible perspective, no matter his grievances or opinions. So, he asked, "Liu-shidi, Luo Binghe...is that true? I don't understand what our blind brother could have done to... aggravate such a situation."

"Yue Qingyuan!" Shen Qingqiu snapped, eyes burning with fury, while the older man tried to placate the Qing Jing disciple's rage with an extended hand but was only slapped away as Shen Qingqiu crossed his arms over his chest, offendedly.

Luo Binghe sneered at the interaction, while it was known far and wide that the great sect leader of Cang Qiong: Yue Qingyuan, was renowned for his strength and leadership, having only drawn his blade a handful of times, it was practically infuriating to see such a strong man reduced to such a pathetic specimen because of one person.

A bastard of a person at that.

Liu Qingge, on the other hand, had seen interactions like this for practically two lifetimes now, and he was entirely used to it. "No. We–. I wasn't trying to harm him; I was trying to handle this beast. It was an unfortunate and unintended happenstance that Shen...Yuan was situated in the fight." Liu Qingge just jutted his chin at Luo Binghe, glaring as the younger boy glowered at the Bai Zhan disciple.

Yue Qingyuan nodded at the explanation, looking over at Luo Binghe, who only huffed at the questioning expression. "I was aiming for his throat," he gestured to Liu Qingge. "Not Shen Yuan."

"I'll gut you like the beast you are."

"I'll rip your fingers from your hands."

Yue Qingyuan cleared his throat loudly, looking over at Mu Qingfang, who watched the interaction with the same expression of shock and discomfort as him. "Very well, we will wait for Wu-shishu then."

"I'm not a disciple of Bai Zhan." Luo Binghe cut in, crossing his arms as he eyed the door. This was the very last place he wanted to be, and yet, the idea of leaving at that moment filled him with a sense of urgency that he couldn't describe. "I'm not a disciple of Cang Qiong at all."

"Not with an attitude like that," a rough voice cut into the conversation, trailed by Shan Lielin, who still looked around mournfully at the wreckage of the room. "What is this? I hear you fought with Liu Qingge?"

What...What manner of giant was this man!?

Looking up at him forced everyone in the room to either crane their neck or eyes. He even loomed over Yue Qingyuan! Of course, that was an exaggeration; he was perhaps only an inch or so taller, but even the smallest measurements count! He carried a broad sword, large and likely heavier than a dozen combined; he was built like a mountain itself, looming over everyone and with the stature of a bison.

With him inside the room, the space suddenly felt incredibly small.

Mu Qingfang bowed in greeting while Shen Qingqiu only gave a stiff nod, still too focused on glaring down at Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe with a death glare to properly greet his Shishu. However, Yue Qingyuan, while just as affected, remembered to uphold his station as he said, "There was a bit of a... quarrel, Shishu, it has been settled for now, but Shan-shishu wished for you to be called."

The mountain of a man hummed understandingly, scanning the damage with his single eye, the other clouded and grey with a deep scar etching diagonally from his right eye to his nose, while a black stubble added to the sharp masculine features of his face.

The peak lord looked back over at his disciple and Luo Binghe, examining both before he laughed boisterously, throwing his head back as he let his broad sword touch the ground with a heavy thump. "Boy, you faced Liu Qingge? Have you lost a limb or perhaps your tongue?" Luo Binghe glowered at the question. Who was this man to question his abilities? Peak lord or not, he'd need only a single opportunity to show him who it would be to lose a limb or their tongue! "There are few other than me who can face him without suffering for their hubris, and yet here you stand...somewhat unharmed." He eyed the bruises and cuts on Luo Binghe's person, but Liu Qingge likewise had his own, so it was practically even.

The man sniffed haughtily, slapping his hip with his hand as he said, "Why aren't you a Bai Zhan Peak disciple then, huh!?"

The question caught everyone by surprise, and Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe both especially looked rather aghast. "Shizun, that wouldn't–."

"Hush on that nonsense, you beat your Shidi and Shimei into a pulp anyway, so why not invite a challenge?" Wu Liegang took another look at Luo Binghe and nodded assuredly. "Besides, he's already here, why make the boy leave for wherever he was before? He was brought to Qian Cao for a reason, wasn't he?"

When Wu Liegang looked at him, Mu Qingfang stumbled over his thoughts before he said, "Yes, Shishu. The patient was brought in when a few disciples found him not far from the mountain, unconscious. He wasn't injured, but he wouldn't wake up either, we feared there could have been a brain injury, but as of now...he seems alright."

Having listened to all of this long enough, Luo Binghe finally couldn't take it any longer and shouted, "Who said I would join?!" What nonsense! He would join Cang Qiong again!? He'd already spent one lifetime in this terrible place. Why would he come back for seconds when he had already been kicked from the table!?

Wu Liegang chuckled at his reaction, hoisting his sword back over his shoulder and into its sheath. "Come or don't come, stay or don't stay, do as you please, but if you come, prepare for a beating." Wu Liegang recited fondly as if the mantra was a comfort to him. "Bai Zhan has its warriors, while this one thinks your talents would be wasted elsewhere, do as you like. Regardless, everyone has their time and day. Liu Qingge, I will see you back on the training fields immediately."

With nothing else to speak of, the Bai Zhan Peak Lord left just as swiftly as he came and Shan Lielin squawked in offense when his Shixiong left without a single word of how this all would be handled with him, chasing after his Shixiong, he shouted at the mountain of a man the entire way until the voices faded out in the distance.

Join Bai Zhan!? What a thought! He could almost laugh at it, if not for its absurdity. He was about to take the chance to leave when Yue Qingyuan turned to Shen Qingqiu, still somewhat shell-shocked by such a swift and dramatic entrance and scene displayed by the Bai Zhan Peak, he said, "Does Qingqiu-shidi wish to head to Ling Shou now?"

Ling Shou...that's right, Shen Tian—. Yuan. Shen Yuan had joined Ling Shou. He was still on Cang Qiong.

The thought irked him. To think of his long-lost Shifu anywhere aside from Qing Jing. While he had very few fond memories of that place, the idea of seeing Shen Yuan anywhere aside from the groves of bamboo, tending to his garden, or playing the guqin in his little cottage felt disturbing. His Shifu had been nothing if not a creature of habit, so to hear he would be not only outside of such natural tendencies but on an entirely different peak...felt almost disheartening.

Are you still the same as you were back then, Shifu? Do you still have the same secrets? Luo Binghe mulled over his thoughts. He still had no clue why he was back here, how it had occurred like this, and just why everything seemed to be so...different.

His Shifu was not mute, but blind. He was not of Qing Jing but of Ling Shou. His Shifu and he seemed to be close in age, if not the same. And Liu Qingge...was a menace.

Join Bai Zhan...what a thought.

"I don't see why not." Luo Binghe spoke up after a moment, catching the others' attention, especially Liu Qingge, as they turned to look at him. "I'll join Bai Zhan." He silently reveled in the reaction he gained from the Bai Zhan Head Disciple, the vein on the young man's forehead protruding as his knuckles cracked under the pressure from his curled fists.

Luo Binghe couldn't help but feel a little excited...this would be rather entertaining.

After a moment of tense silence, mainly the others in the room watching Liu Qingge's reaction, the head disciple growled softly before huffing in agreement. "Do as you please. But be prepared to be beaten if you dare to come, you will not be treated with mercy." With nothing else, the head disciple took after his Shizun and left without another word, sword sheathed at his side and ponytail swaying as he walked briskly.

Yue Qingyuan turned back to the boy, eyeing him skeptically before giving him a welcoming smile, ever the diplomat. "This Yue-shixiong welcomes Luo-shidi to Cang Qiong. If you hurry, you can follow Liu Qingge back to Bai Zhan, your Shijie and Shixiong will be able to help you from there."

Luo Binghe gave a mandatory bow as he said, "This humble Shidi thanks Yue-shixiong for his help." He made sure that his sneer wasn't visible as he left.

Shen Qingqiu watched the Bai Zhan Peak disciples leave with a sneer, only offering a nod when Mu Qingfang departed as well, and his knuckles going white as he snapped his head over to Yue Qingyuan now that they were alone. "You're just letting him join? After all of that?"

Yue Qingyuan sighed dejectedly, turning back to look at the Qing Jing Peak disciple as he said, "Xiao-Jiu...Wu Liegang wanted him as a disciple. Neither he nor Liu-shidi will be near A-Yuan at all, he's safe—."

"Was he safe before?" Shen Qingqiu hissed, promptly silencing Yue Qingyuan with a pained expression. "Was he safe when he was separated from us before? He was just attacked by those two brutes!"

"We can ask him about it, Xiao-Jiu...The situation might not be as dire as it seems." Yue Qingyuan tried to reason, reaching out to placate the aggravated head disciple, but Shen Qingqiu only turned away from him.

"It never seems that way, does it?" His laugh was rather cruel, mocking almost, and Yue Qingyuan couldn't help but flinch from it. "They always seem so kind, so understandable! What of the scars he bears!? He's blind! Do you have such faith in others who have no right to be forgiven when they have and could hurt us—!"

"Xiao-Jiu..." He tried to reach out once again, but his hand was slapped away as Shen Qingqiu growled.

"Do not call me that." He bypassed the Qiong Ding Head Disciple with his chin raised and face hidden behind the hardened façade that Yue Qingyuan recognized too easily. "Come see him if you care, stay away if you don't. There is no point in you hurting him. Regardless, make your bed, and lie in it." He left in silence, with only quick footfalls being the only sound to signify that he had been there at all.

Leaving Yue Qingyuan in the wreckage of the room, sighing deeply as he looked around a final time to be sure nothing of importance would be left, and to be sure that no one aside from him saw the tears that trailed down his face.

"Forgive Da-Shijie, Xiao-Shidi." The woman finally stopped pulling him along, letting them stand at rest while Shen Yuan tried to stabilize himself and where he was. "You didn't need to be in there any longer during that argument; that is no way for you to recover."

Oh...So, she took me out to get me away from the fighting? Shen Yuan hummed understandingly. he could feel the sun on his skin, and the crisp air of winter was starting to make his fingers prickle at their tips...He still had no clue where he was.

Ci Liang wrapped something around his shoulders, a heavy cloak, and took his hand again. "This Da-Shijie didn't mean to frazzle, Xiao-Shidi, she will describe the things around you for now." They started walking again, and Shen Yuan noted how the woman, who had to be only a year or two younger than his Er-ge, walked slower than she had before when she dragged him along.

"We're on the west side of the mountain, and this rainbow bridge leads between Qian Cao and Ling Shou. Xiao-Shidi will only have to walk along this path following the junctures for half an hour before he reaches the gates. From there, someone should be around to help you find the rest of the way, but if no one is there, then Xiao-Shidi will only have to follow the trail of hanging lanterns, which are lit at night so people can find their way. Xiao-Shidi can use them as markers."

He listened intently, walking just a bit closer so their arms weren't so stretched out, Ci Liang smiled at the action before she continued, "If Xiao-Shidi wishes to go to Qing Jing or Qiong Ding, more than likely his brothers will come to retrieve him, but if they do not, then Xiao-Shidi will take the north rainbow bridge. From there, he will pass three crossroads on Bai Zhan and then An Ding before he reaches Qing Jing. From there, it is only a short trip further North from Qing Jing to Qiong Ding, though by the time you reach Qing Jing, this Da-Shijie wagers your brothers will already be there to meet you, so you will not have to travel alone."

Hearing that he would have to pass through Bai Zhan made his skin prickle. He didn't know what was happening back there, why Luo Binghe was here, or even where he would go after all of this. What about Liu Qingge? It seemed that the two already hated each other; did they already know of each other? Were they already on bad terms? From what he could hear once his Da-ge had gotten him to settle down, his Er-ge didn't know Luo Binghe, only Liu Qingge. Which was a good sign, but what was after this? What if Luo Binghe left the mountain? Would it be for the best? Or would it only cause calamity?

Ci Liang noted his quietness and with a gentle squeeze of his hand said, "There is no need for Xiao-Shidi to be nervous or afraid. The travel between peaks is entirely safe, no one can see them, but there are barriers set up around the bridges, so Xiao-Shidi doesn't have to worry about falling off the edge."

Shen Yuan only nodded, not having the heart to tell the rather excited young woman that just about everything she was telling him, aside from a few of the paths that he hadn't been aware of before, wasn't at all new to him.

"If Xiao-Shidi is worried about those boys from before," he didn't even get the chance to beg her not to speak of them! "That Luo Binghe boy is not of Cang Qiong, from what I heard, so Xiao-Shidi should not have to see him often or ever again unless he joins the sect or he is of one of the peaks. However, Liu Qingge may be hotheaded and somewhat arrogant, but he is a well-statured young man. He won't bother you anymore, at least not on purpose...Though I can't say that Xiao-Shidi should expect an apology from him, he can be rather prideful."

"I never expected one Da-Shijie...this one wasn't that upset..." Wrong, entirely wrong! But what was he supposed to say!? He knew both of them from his past life, that he was their soulmate back then, and...maybe even now as well? For nearly the past year, he had vehemently avoided looking at his soulmark, so even if it was there, he never looked. What else, he was also the one person that both of them seemed to hate the most!

But he couldn't say that, now, could he?

Ci Liang scoffed at that, crossing her arm over her chest as she reached out to flick Shen Yuan's forehead, making the boy stumble, yet unable to let go of her hand due to her grip. "Xiao-Shidi speaks as if this Da-Shijie didn't first meet him with tears in his eyes and hanging onto Yue-shixiong, unaffected, who told Xiao-Shidi to lie to his Da-Shijie so he could appear strong?"

The scolding came as a shock, as did the flick to the head, it left him disgruntled and unable to say a thing to counteract, so he only mumbled, "This Shidi...is alright, Da-Shijie." Appear strong she said? He couldn't tell if it was worry or an insult that toned her voice!

Ci Liang sighed, patting Shen Yuan's head as she stated, "Xiao-Shidi is quite young and little, Da-Shijie understands if he wants to be big and grown already, but Shen Yuan shouldn't lie when he is hurt and tell others he is not. How is this Shijie of yours to know when her Shidi needs help? What if he is seriously hurt, and he lies so no one has to know he is hurt? What could happen then?"

The air around them was cold, but strangely, with her words, an unfamiliar warmth welled up in his chest. He remembered being scolded like this before... by a friend long since passed...it made him miss him.

"This Shidi knows how to take care of himself, he could handle any injury on his own." His counterargument was stubborn and unrelenting, he didn't let go of her hand, but Ci Liang could see the familiar furrowed brows and tilted chin that came with such stubbornness.

What a perfect mixture of Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu he was...

Knowing she would be unable to get through to him at the moment, Ci Liang relented. "This Da-Shijie has faith in her Shidi, but Xiao-Shidi must also understand that Ling Shou is a very familial peak; he will not get very far without being discovered by one of his other Shijie or Shixiong."

They continued walking, Ci Liang explaining the junctures and markers Shen Yuan could look for on the bridge to let him know he was going the right way, not that it was hard to get lost in the first place.

It was only when they arrived that Shen Yuan suddenly felt an influx of spiritual energy practically crash into him. He immediately felt revived, alert, and spirited. Ci Liang seemed to see his reaction and laughed. "Ling Shou is heavily condensed with spiritual energy since there are no limitations here. Disciples are encouraged to practice in groups and on their own to the high caliber of their abilities, and many of the beasts and flora kept on Ling Shou are dense with their own spiritual abilities as well."

Shen Yuan nodded slowly, taking in the distant sounds of birds and other animals crying out in the distance, there was a heavy scent of dove trees and redwoods, a mutually minty yet earthy with subtle spicy undertones and a barely-there twinge of sweetness.

It was a rather welcoming scent.

"Xiao-Shidi will only have to take this path a little ways from the gate before he reaches the conservatory and academic hall, where he will learn to identify flora and how they can either be beneficial or dangerous, perhaps even both, given the correct scenarios!" She led him there, along a cobblestone path laid down in the otherwise densely forested area, where there was hardly even a single clearing on the entire peak until they finally reached the conservatory and academic hall. "The academic hall also holds classes for calligraphy, talismans, musical cultivation, and demon history."

At the last one, Shen Yuan perked up and followed his Shijie further down the path until they reached where the cobblestone path turned into what could only be described as a dirt road, where the academic hall and conservatory stood broadly and proudly, hidden deeply within the thicket of the forest.

"Demon history?" Shen Yuan asked curiously, holding his Shijie's hand just a little tighter as she led him further down until the dirt road turned into cobblestone again, and they walked deeper and deeper still into the thicket of trees.

"Yes," she said. "Ling Shou has both spiritual and demonic beasts and flora. We study both so we may understand the world around us more clearly, however, most of our own go off from the peak once they are old enough to do so alone. Adventure is both a triumph and a calamity for Ling Shou, while we are as close as family, that family is rather branched out."

At this, Shen Yuan couldn't help but deflate a little. Though what did he have to be upset over? He had lived in almost total isolation before, going years without speaking to others in seclusion, and he lived on his own just fine. He survived it then, and he would survive it now. Besides, he at least had his brothers now, and he would likely see them more than he ever did in his past life.

He was best on his own regardless, it left less to be expected, and less to be feared. What would he even do if he was constantly surrounded? He'd lose his mind that was what! Yes, yes, he was better alone. His brothers' visits would be more than enough.

No matter how sneaky Shen Yuan thought himself to be, Ci Liang saw through his act and squeezed his hand reassuringly. "Not to fear, Xiao-Shidi. Ling Shou is not at a loss, our disciples always come back eventually, and there are many here your age you will be able to befriend, Xiao-Shidi will not be lonely."

Shen Yuan huffed at that, his cheeks puffing out slightly in indignance. He wasn't a child who needed people around him constantly! He was just fine on his own, thank you very much, Shijie! "This one is fine on his own..."

Ci Liang laughed at his stubbornness, shaking her head fondly, this Shidi of hers would be a little tougher than what she was used to...but when had she never adored a challenge? "Very well then, Xiao-Shidi will only have to follow this path from the conservatory and academic hall until he reaches a grassy clearing. That is where the dormitories are."

"Where are the outer disciple dormitories?" Shen Yuan asked, there was no point in him being led around the others to get a feel for them as well, he just needed to know where he was to go to sleep at night.

"There are none; they are all the same." Ci Liang stated, earning an inquisitive sound from the boy who still held her hand. Chuckling at the reaction, she explained. "Ling Shou is a family, Xiao-Shidi. We do not separate ourselves based on rank. The dormitories are quite large, Xiao-Shidi could get lost, but we only separate them based on domination and gender."

When Shen Yuan only continued to listen, Ci Liang continued. "There are three floors to the dormitories for each side. Boys and female Alphas are on one side while Omegas and females are on the other. However, Ling Shou currently doesn't have any male Omegas, would Shen Yuan be comfortable with sleeping with the girls and other Omegas? If not, he is allowed to sleep on the other side with the boys if he is uncomfortable."

Sleeping on the boys' side...he had done that before.

He remembered vividly the first year he came to Qing Jing in his past life. Where he would only be able to sit on his bed at night, listening through the thin screen that separated the rooms as the other boys snored or tossed and turned in their sleep. He would listen with a well-trained ear for each sound, only barely able to doze off for an hour or so before being startled awake if someone moved too loudly or sleep-talked.

Eventually, he was unable to handle the sleepless nights and the pure anxiety he felt sleeping in the same area as the boys, so he would sneak out through the window at night, a blanket in hand, as he slept in the trees.

One night, he stumbled out of his tree when he heard someone coming, and ran far into the bamboo grove until he came upon a dingy and abandoned old cottage hidden in the thicket. It was dusty and in need of repairs, but by the time he had come upon it, he had grown. He was seventeen at the time, finally able to hold his own against his peak siblings, and all too knowing that no one would notice if he spent more of his time back there rather than with the rest of his peak.

That place had become the only haven he had on Qing Jing, and he had opened it up to only one person before he shut those doors tightly again, and he was left to suffer through sleepless nights where those terrors would chase him even in his dreams, tormenting him until he forwent the need and busied himself with anything he could.

He was never able to sleep on the boys' side, with the Betas and the Alpha; it always left him restless and fearful.

"This one will sleep with the girls and the other Omegas, Da-Shijie."

"Very well," she led them into the dormitory, it was there he heard a bustle of conversations, laughing and talking all mixing into a jumbled yet spiritful gathering. "This is the common area, Xiao-Shidi. This is where the disciples can gather together and eat a meal outside of the dining hall. It is only through here that you will enter into the grand courtyard and follow the path to the left until you reach your side for the dormitories.

Shen Yuan was only able to make a quiet sound of understanding when Ci Liang halted just before the large clamor of voices and shouted, "Shimei! Shidi! We have a new one! Come greet Shen-shidi!"

Shen Yuan suddenly felt like a deer in the way of an arrow. What was this, and being put on display like this so often!? Suddenly, the clamor silenced almost eerily, and Shen Yuan immediately jumped behind his Shijie when he heard what could only be described as a stampede coming toward him.

"Ah! Shijie, he's so cute!"

"Shidi! Shidi! Tell us your name, what is your cultivation base?"

"Don't crowd around him like that! You're scaring him!"

"Back up! Back up!"

Ci Liang laughed at their excitement, shooing them back with a wave of her hand while her Shidi and Shimei all still tried to look past her at the boy who hid behind their Da-Shijie.

"He's rather shy, be patient with him." Ci Liang ordered, earning the nods of her peak siblings who all fell quiet aside from a few murmurs.

When Shen Yuan felt his heart settle from the spike it had experienced at having been charged like that, he slowly emerged from behind the woman, bowing shortly in greeting. "This one is Shen Yuan..."

"Shen? Are you related to that Shen Qingqiu, Shidi?" One of the disciples asked, and Shen Yuan only cared to nod in response. He cared very little for how these people viewed his brother, he wouldn't lie!

"Ah, I can see the resemblance!"

"His elder brother is also Yue Qingyuan." Ci Liang added with a smirk, finding the reactions of the younger disciples humorous.

"I didn't know Shen-shixiong and Yue-shixiong were related..."

"They aren't." Shen Yuan added, there was no point in rumors being started so early on just because of a few misplaced words!

"Then how are they..."

"Hush! Families come in all shapes and sizes! Don't judge!"

"It was most likely adoption, perhaps the Shens took in Yue-shixiong as their own?"

"Don't gossip!"

"Shimei! I would never! I was only saying that it's a possibility!"

"No way, look at Shidi, he looks like Yue-shixiong and Shen-shixiong combined!"

"But neither Yue-shixiong nor Shen-shixiong are–."

"Alright! Everyone shut it!" Ci Liang laughed, clapping her hands to catch the attention of her Shimei and Shidi before they could say something truly damning in front of Shen Yuan. Don't these brats know that there were little ears in front of them!? Speak of such depravities on your own time! Shidi may be a bit too mature for his age as it is, but don't mentally scar him further! "No need to gossip, what are you teaching your Xiao-Shidi, huh? How rude!" The Alpha's chiding left a few in the room sulking, while others immediately hurried to apologize.

"Forgive us, Shidi! We were just curious!"

"We didn't mean any harm!"

"Sorry!"

Too overwhelming! Way too overwhelming! How did all these people have so much energy!? He was going to pass out from overexertion! "It's fine...this one isn't upset." He tried to slide back behind Ci Liang, but the woman didn't let him.

"Ah, now see what you've done! You've scared him away already!" At this point, she was just teasing, but a few of her Shimei already looked disheartened. How maiden-hearted! She was just kidding!

"Don't be scared, Shidi, your Shijie won't ask mean questions like that anymore." The young woman stepped closer to take a look at Shen Yuan, smiling welcomingly until she saw his eyes. "Oh...Da-Shijie, is he–."

"He is, Xiao-Shidi, please step forward so your Shixiong and Shijie can see you." She patted his shoulder reassuringly, and Shen Yuan slowly stepped out fully, this time giving them enough time to take a long enough look at his eyes to see past that warm glow of soft jade and deeper to see the glaze of cloud and the glassy haze.

A few gasps came, others only hummed in understanding, and a few gasped almost angrily.

"Are those scars on his face!?"

"Da-Shijie! Da-Shijie, what happened!?"

"Shidi, are you alright?!"

"Who did such a thing!? Da-Shijie, have they been dealt with yet!? Where are they!?"

"Shut up, all of you! You're all practically screaming at a child! What is wrong with you!?"

"Don't start up again! Be considerate!"

Ci Liang clapped her hands again, this time silencing everyone immediately as she looked down at Shen Yuan. "If Xiao-Shidi wishes to explain, he is allowed to, but if not, he does not have to say a word. Don't feel pressured."

"Precisely! Xiao-Shidi doesn't have to tell us anything if he doesn't wish to!"

"There is no pressure. Don't feel obligated at all, Shidi!"

"Don't worry, Shidi! I still haven't told any of these idiots how I lost my leg!"

"There's no need for you to tell us! The reason is clear as day you buffoon! You're always getting into trouble!"

"Song-shixiong! Xie-shidi! Hush up already! Both of you start fights!"

Chaos...utter chaos. But...it's not that bad. Shen Yuan couldn't help but chuckle at the interactions he could hear. It all sounded so...ridiculous!

Ci Liang only sighed, muttering, "At least they aren't scaring him again."

"I don't mind telling them, Shijie..." Shen Yuan murmured, tugging on Ci Liang's sleeve while the woman looked down at him before looking up again and shouting to catch their attention.

"Shut it!"

Shen Yuan waited until he felt Ci Liang pat him on the shoulder again, and he said only this, "This one got into a fight with an old master of mine...it didn't end all that well...and I think that my Da-ge might have handled it in some way? I never asked."

A few sighs came from the horde of disciples, and others still grumbled in indignation.

"Thank goodness, if Yue-shixiong was there, it surely was handled."

"Shidi is alright though, correct? Da-Shijie, has he been to Qian Cao yet?"

"What a depraved bastard! To fight with a child and...and do something so horrible! Don't worry, Shidi, your Shixiong will light some spirit talismans to make sure that he won't rest well even in hell!"

"Take your psychotic plans away! He's a child! Do you enjoy scaring children!?"

Without even meaning to, Shen Yuan let slip, "Silly...all so silly."

The quip made most fall silent, and others laugh, though Ci Liang's laughter rang out loudly most of all. "Indeed! Your Shixiong and Shijie are all quite silly, Xiao-Shidi."

"Is Shidi hungry? Lunch has already been prepared, he should eat something before he can tour out the rest of Ling Shou." A few of the other girls shouted in agreement while Ci Liang hummed affirmatively.

"Xiao-Shidi will like lunch today! Xie Hong and Tang Guiying were responsible for overseeing the dining hall today, and they always make the best food!"

There was another clamor of agreement before everyone was hurrying off for their meal, and Shen Yuan instinctively pushed himself a little further into Ci Liang. Ling Shou... really was rather lively.

"They can be a bit much," Ci Liang patted his back, letting him choose to take her hand and when to start after the rest of their peak siblings. When he grabbed her hand and started slowly, she smiled. "They are just excited to have a new Shidi. Ling Shou does not take disciples often."

"When was the last time Ling Shou took in disciples?" Shen Yuan asked, hoping that at the very least there would be someone here who wasn't so much older than him; he looked like a toddler being babysat.

"Two years ago, when Shizun brought back Xie Hong from a mission she went on."

"What of the disciple choosings? Doesn't Hu–. Shizun take any disciples once a year that way?"

Ci Liang made a sound of disagreement as she said, "No, Ling Shou can't take disciples that way." When Shen Yuan made a confused sound, she chuckled as she grabbed the door to the common room before it could close and helped Shen Yuan down the stairs before returning to the cobblestone path. "Ling Shou is the peak of spiritual and demonic beasts and flora. It takes a special kind of person to be able to handle our peak the way we do. Ling Shou is a forest, we do not tear down our forests, we allow nature to give us our dues as it sees fit, which is why Shizun especially has to look for specifics when choosing disciples."

"...Then why did she choose me so quickly before even meeting me?" Shen Yuan murmured. Shan Lielin had said he had put in a few words with her because he thought Ling Shou was the best place for him to heal! How was a peak that so rarely took in disciples, because of specific needs, the most optimum place!?

"Your spiritual core, Xiao-Shidi." Ci Liang answered assuredly. "Ling Shou normally takes those with a water-type or earth-type spiritual core because they can connect to Ling Shou easier than others. Likewise, Ling Shou takes in those who cannot join other peaks due to disability, mostly because we believe that second chances are important for a person to grow."

"Second chances..?" Shen Yuan mumbled, flicking at his sleeves that were too long for his arms, and covered his hands with their hems.

"Yes, Shidi," Ci Liang took on a thoughtful expression, looking down at this Shidi of hers. She could tell that, regardless of how old this boy was, he was far more intelligent and mature than people naturally assumed. It was likewise interesting and upsetting. "Those who have lost the ability to walk on their own, those who cannot speak, hear, or see, and those who had perhaps lost a limb and can no longer function as they used to, Ling Shou will accept them all if they come to us."

"Would that put Ling Shou at a disadvantage?" Shen Yuan murmured, and he couldn't help but ask. He already figured that he'd likely be isolated again due to his blindness, pushed to the back so he couldn't shame the peak with the failures his disability would surely cause. But to hear Ling Shou sought out those with such physical disabilities, offering every one of them a place to call home? It almost didn't make much sense.

"Of course not, Shidi." Ci Liang reassured, squeezing Shen Yuan's hand in a soothing rhythm. "Ling Shou needs disciples who can connect to nature and beasts. Who better than those who have almost no other choice? Those who have no other hope but with Ling Shou? While it can seem cruel, desperation can yield such wonderful results. Many of your Shijie and Shixiong who live off the peak outside of Cang Qiong have such disabilities, and they are some of our greatest travelers and explorers. Ling Shou would not be the same without them."

"Oh..." He said rather dumbly, it was just that...this was the last thing he had expected. "I understand."

Ci Liang chuckled at his reaction, tugging him closer so she could instead wrap her arm around his shoulder rather than hold his hand. "Don't worry, Xiao-Shidi, as time goes on, scars heal and fade. Wounds will close and fade away as well, everything that seemed so important now, things that seemed like they could both start and end the world, will become inconsequential one day. But until then, you have your Shijie and Shixiong to help you. Here, you are not alone."

Shen Yuan let himself be tugged closer, for a moment, he could almost believe Ci Liang's words, but at the same time, growing feelings bloomed in his chest, one he recognized. Doubt and fear, he knew them all too well, and he couldn't help but wonder if Ci Liang would one day regret these words to him, once she realized that Shen Yuan could not be who she hoped.

However, his thoughts were cut short when he heard a distressed whinny in the distance, and the sound of shouting disciples as the clobber of hooves against the cobblestone grew closer.

"Who the hell let him out!?"

"Fuck! He bit me! Since when do horses go straight for biting!?"

"Somebody catch him!"

Ci Liang immediately grabbed Shen Yuan, pulling him behind her as the hoof steps grew louder and closer. Shouting, she said, "What horse is this!? He's not one of ours!"

Another disciple ran over to them, standing at Ci Liang's side and in front of Shen Yuan as the horse continued to run around, dodging the struggling disciples and raising a fuss whenever someone got too close. "Shizun brought him here with another woman, Da-Shijie! But he's practically feral!"

Hearing this, Shen Yuan immediately knew just who this horse was. Jumping out from behind Ci Liang, he rushed forward before the woman could grab him, shouting, "Xiao Yingzi!"

"Shen Yuan!" Ci Liang hissed, failing to grab him as the boy ran closer to the rampaging stallion. "Get away from him!"

"Xiao Yingzi!" Upon hearing his name again, the horse settled down somewhat, looking around and stomping his foot until he caught Shen Yuan walking closer to him, following the sound of his hooves against the cobblestone.

The stallion whinnied excitedly, rearing back on his hind legs while the other disciples around all gasped and shouted in fear before falling silent as they watched the horse turn to his side as his hooves hit the ground, lowering his head to nudge against Shen Yuan's chest gently. Whinning and huffing as he sniffed the boy, rearing his back somewhat until Shen Yuan's feet were almost entirely off the ground and the boy had to hug the beast's muzzle.

"I'm sorry I was gone for so long, I'm alright now." Shen Yuan patted the horse's face, running his hands along the creature's neck and down his side while the beast snorted and huffed.

Ci Liang tried to approach a moment after the initial shock died down, that is, until Xiao Yingzi squealed at her, stomping his hooves against the ground again as he circled Shen Yuan almost protectively.

Laughing, the woman only asked, "A friend of yours, Xiao-Shidi?"

Shen Yuan laughed with her, entirely used to Xiao Yingzi's dramatics. "Yes, Da-Shijie. Xiao Yingzi is my horse from my...ah, my previous master. He is a good friend to me and a wonderful protector..." Clearing his throat sheepishly, he also said, "He is sweet once you get to know him. He's just not well with strangers, truly, he doesn't mean any harm."

Laughing, Ci Liang hummed understandingly. "Very well, however, this one believes it is best that only Xiao-Shidi tends to him for now until Xiao Yingzi gets used to Ling Shou Peak as well."

Shen Yuan nodded, laughing a little nervously, "That is for the best, he still doesn't even like my Jiejie that much..."

"How could that beast like anyone!? Shidi, he bit me!" Another disciple shouted from behind him, and Shen Yuan couldn't help but snicker.

"You've been bitten before, Song Rong! You always get too close to the beasts' mouths when you first meet them!" One of the female disciples teased, while Song Rong huffed indignantly, coming closer only to veer away from the horse the second the creature looked at him.

"Utter chaos..." Shen Yuan chuckled, and Ci Liang laughed with him.

"Welcome to Ling Shou, Xiao-Shidi."

Chapter Text

“Xiao-Shidi! There is a tree ahead!” Song Rong screeched from behind him, his own steed unable to keep up with Xiao Yingzi now that the horse had been allowed to stretch his legs as much as he liked.

Shen Yuan rode on his back, holding his reins as he let the horse lead them through the forest. Dove trees stood tall around them, infusing the air with a cold and minty scent as hooves stomped against the snow-laden ground. The air rushed past him with an icy sting burning his nose and cheeks, but the freedom was completely numbing to the cold.

Xiao Yingzi veered to the left, bounding over the fallen tree, and huffing as his powerful legs surged with energy. Ling Shou Peak had allowed the horse the room to roam freely without a single fence or gate to hold him back; his legs had gotten stronger, his stamina improved, and Shen Yuan took him out to ride every day before noon.

“Circle around, we lost Song-shixiong again,” Shen Yuan called out, tugging on Xiao Yingzi’s reins while the horse snorted pridefully and circled around, galloping until Song Rong could be heard again.

“Xiao-Shidi! I couldn’t see you! Don’t run so far ahead!” Shen Yuan pulled Xiao Yingzi to a stop next to Song Rong’s steed, who huffed at the larger horse. “This Shixiong of yours can’t keep up with you!”

Shen Yuan nodded understandingly, petting Xiao Yingzi’s mane through his fingers as he apologized. “Sorry, Shixiong, Xiao Yingzi doesn’t like to hold back.”

Song Rong laughed at the apology. “This Shixiong knows well! I still have the bite mark you left for me, Xiao Yingzi!” The horse only snorted at him, throwing his head away from him, while Shen Yuan chuckled.

He hadn’t left Ling Shou Peak once since he had arrived. His brothers and Bai Daiyu, of course, were adamant visitors, but he had yet to leave, both out of personal grievances and the opinions of his peak siblings and shizun. His shizun had said he needed more time to heal, to allow himself to become familiar with a singular place first before daring to venture outside, and his peak siblings were quick to agree with her.

Surprisingly, he hadn’t minded this as much as he thought he would.

Ling Shou Peak was larger than it seemed through word of mouth or first appearances. The few places that had been cleared of trees to make room for the academic hall, conservatory, and dorms were only a few places on the peak. There were sword training grounds, and hilltops where more experienced disciples practiced their musical skills, even using such skills to tame beasts and help plants grow.

Likewise, there were stables larger than Shen Yuan had ever heard of that housed horses used not only for Ling Shou but the rest of the peaks as well, exotic animals, and any animal that happened to wander into the peak.

However, it was the forests that he preferred over it all.

Wild and perfectly untamed.

Xiao Yingzi was set up in one of the stables closer to the dormitories since no one else was able to wrangle him, feed him, or care for him aside from Shen Yuan. Every morning before his botanical lessons, Shen Yuan would feed Xiao Yingzi and then take him out for a run. It had only been recently that his Shixiong insisted he come along after Xiao Yingzi and Shen Yuan both had gotten lost and ended up causing a few of his Shijie to freak out, and Ci Liang to rush around the entire peak trying to find him.

It didn’t help all that much since Song Rong and his horse couldn’t keep up with them, but Shen Yuan understood and appreciated the care.

Song Rong sighed dramatically with fake hurt as Shen Yuan laughed at him, mournfully proclaiming, “Here I thought Xiao-Shidi cared for me! What will I do now that I know that both he and his horse lost favor for this poor Shixiong?”

Xiao Yingzi huffed at the young man, snorting and trotting away while Shen Yuan patted his neck. “This Shidi still favors Song-shixiong…Yingzi is just anti-social.”

“No, Shidi. That horse is just anti-anyone-aside-from-Shen Yuan!” Xiao Yingzi snorted, holding his nose to the air haughtily while the young man shouted in indignation. “Shidi! You can sense that kind of sass! Such disrespect! Watch it, Xiao Yingzi! It won’t be long before Shen-shidi favors me more than you!” The young man yelped in fright as his horse squealed when Xiao Yingzi bucked his hind legs at them. Shen Yuan quickly swatted his flank as he scolded him.

“Yingzi, be nice, be nice! We don’t kick Song-shixiong!” He only received a begrudging huff in response.

“Evil horse…Shidi, are you sure you don’t want a different one?”

Shen Yuan shook his head when he heard Xiao Yingzi squeal, petting the horse’s mane and shushing him as he said, “Xiao Yingzi has been there for me since I first went to the brothel, he’s a dear friend and I could never leave him, what kind of person would I be then?”

Sighing, Song Rong shook his head as he muttered, “Too good of a person, Shidi. Far too good of a person.”

“Is Shizun going to be there at the lesson today?” Shen Yuan changed the subject, leading Xiao Yingzi to a slow gallop so Song Rong could keep pace with them.

“She should be; however, she could still be off the peak. She has to travel quite a bit whenever Bai Zhan asks her to help them identify a beast they are hunting, and that Wu-Shibo of ours always keeps her busy!” If Shen Yuan heard Song Rong grumble something about the Bai Zhan Peak Lord being a ‘disrespectful meathead,’ he didn’t say a word.

“Then will Da-Shijie teach again?” He liked it when Ci Liang taught; she always made the lessons fun. Allowing Shen Yuan to come as close as he felt comfortable, touching, and smelling the plants so he could learn how to identify them without his sight, and she would even stay long after the lesson to help him further if he were struggling.

She was a lot like his Jiejie, and she actually had a good relationship with his Jiejie, too! Bai Daiyu seemed to like her; the two spoke to each other welcomingly whenever Bai Daiyu would come up from the city within Cang Qiong’s borders to visit, Ci Liang was always the one to greet her first and lead her to either the dormitories or the dining hall.

“Mm, she will if Shizun is not there.” Song Rong confirmed as he spurred his steed to walk a little faster so he could be side by side with Shen Yuan.

After a moment of silence, Shen Yuan finally couldn’t help but ask a question that had been plaguing his mind since he had first arrived in Ling Shou. “Song-shixiong?”

“Yes, Shidi?”

“Isn’t Ci Liang meant to be the head disciple? And if she isn’t, then who is?”

Humming understandingly, he explained, “Ling Shou does not have a head disciple, and we do not pick one.”

No head disciple? Then, how was someone to be picked to be the peak lord? “Song-shixiong, how does that work? How does one become the peak lord then?”

“Ah ha! Sorry, sorry, let me rephrase that, Shidi!” Song Rong laughed at himself, clearing his throat. “Ling Shou will have a head disciple, but not until a year before the peak lords are to ascend away from the mortal world and into the heavens.”

“A year before? Why such a short amount of time?”

“Nature is unpredictable, Shidi. While Ling Shou is entirely safe, and the beasts and flora we have here are tamed to where we can control them, the outside world is not as forgiving. Disciples are lost regularly, and while it is an unfortunate thing, it is also a thing of nature that no one can control.” Song Rong watched Shen Yuan’s expression carefully. His Shidi had a strange habit of screwing up his face into an almost angry expression—likely without meaning to, how was someone to perfect their facial expressions without being able to see?—but he along with most of the others had learned that such an expression meant that their Shidi was trying to hide how he felt.

When he saw that Shen Yuan instead had only a thoughtful expression, if not a little downcast as one would be when hearing of such natural occurrences as death, he nodded to himself and continued, “Because of this, to name a head disciple years before the time comes is almost too risky, leaving that amount of work on one disciples shoulders to learn how to do it all by themselves, only for them to either be lost or get hurt so gravely they would be unable to carry out their duties could result in Ling Shou’s downfall.”

“So, it’s a security measure?” Shen Yuan mumbled.

Song Rong hummed affirmatively. “In a way, yes. That is why every disciple is given the same workload; there are no senior disciples and no junior disciples. We are all one and the same; equal, even the hall masters, even though they are technically our seniors since they are a part of Shizun’s generation. We all are taught how best to run this peak, and no matter who is named the year before, even if they did not feel entirely prepared, they would not be alone in running the peak.”

“All one family?” Shen Yuan murmured, earning a confirming chuckle from his Shixiong.

“Precisely, Shidi! While Ci Liang is a natural leader and the first disciple among all of us, anyone else could be chosen as the future peak lord when the time comes.”

“I understand, Shixiong.”

“Good,” he said. “Now, let’s get to the conservatory before everyone else thinks I lost you!” Laughing nervously, he tried to urge his horse to fasten his speed, but Shen Yuan only kept Xiao Yingzi at a leisurely pace.

“It was only once, Shixiong, it couldn’t have gone so badly?” Shen Yuan chuckled as he heard Song Rong shudder in fear of the memories.

“You didn’t see your Shijie, Shidi. They may be my Shimei, but they are viscous. They were prepared to string me up right then and there! I only survived because Da-Shijie stepped in and reassured us that you and Xiao Yingzi knew your way back!”

“Xiao Yingzi definitely does,” he said proudly, scratching the beast behind his ears while the horse nickered proudly. “I could never get lost with Xiao Yingzi; he is brilliant.”

Song Rong scoffed indignantly, murmuring, “Not smart enough to take a bite out of the man that could turn him into a stew, it seems?”

Xiao Yingzi snorted at him, and Shen Yuan shouted, “Shixiong! Don’t say such things!”

“Don’t blame me, Xiao-Shidi! He took a bite out of my arm! Isn’t it fair that I get a taste back!?”

“He’d kick you across the stables before you got the chance.” Shen Yuan stated proudly, Xiao Yingzi huffing, challenging as he dug at the ground with his hoof.

Song Rong scoffed, puffing out his chest as he said, “Don’t look so proud, horse, worst comes to worst, Shen-shidi will still like me better than you!”

I’m not even going to try to stop this. Shen Yuan humored himself by listening to his Shixiong bicker with his horse, finding the intelligent interactions humorous as he focused on the outside noises of birds singing and the trees rustling in the wind, the fresh scent of mint heady and all-encompassing in the bountiful grove of trees.

Then he heard hooves against cobblestone, he knew they had arrived and easily dismounted as he led Xiao Yingzi down the familiar path, counting each separate stone until he reached thirty and turned right into the stables, counting each step once again until he reached ten and opened the doors. He led the beast inside as he felt each gate with his fingertip until he felt the familiar rugged edge on the side of the gate next to Xiao Yingzi’s, and led the horse inside his stall and to his trough.

“We can go on another ride later with Da-Shijie, Yingzi.” He patted the horse’s side as he checked the trough to make sure there was enough food and water before unbuckling the saddle and reins and hanging them up again. “I’ll be back later to give you your apples.” Xiao Yingzi whinnied happily at him, nudging his back with his head encouragingly as Shen Yuan left.

“You’re too doting on that horse, Shidi.” Song Rong chuckled, waiting just outside the stable for Shen Yuan while the boy huffed at his Shixiong.

“Why does everyone say that?”

“Because it’s true!” Song Rong laughed, throwing his head back at the pout his Shidi gave him, the boy was barely up to his chin, and he didn’t even care to look up at his Shixiong since he couldn’t see him, but it only made the expression that much more endearing.

“You must abuse your horse if you think I’m overly doting on Xiao Yingzi.” Shen Yuan countered bitterly as Song Rong patted his shoulder.

“I’ll have you know Xiannu is very happy with me, and she loves me very much.” Song Rong teased while Shen Yuan walked faster to get rid of him.

“I think you annoy her more than anything.”

“Shidi! Don’t be like Xiao Yingzi and bully me!”

“Do you hear yourself!? You’re getting bullied by a horse!”

They continued bickering like that until they entered the conservatory. Sixty-seven cobblestones away from the stable, Shen Yuan counted. However, as they entered the indoor garden, a few of the other disciples were already inside waiting for the lesson to start, and immediately tuned in on the bickering going on between Shen Yuan and Song Rong.

“Song-shixiong! What are you bullying Xiao-Shidi for?!” One of the female disciples shouted, and a few others behind her snickered and laughed while Shen Yuan honed in on their voices. Hurrying past the potted plants and the rows of growing flora, he searched for the feeling of sun against his arm.

Once he found it, he knew to walk ten steps forward until he reached his Shijie. They always liked to stand near the windows where it was sunny since it was cold out, and the windows were nearly as tall as the entire building itself.

Song Rong gasped offendedly, placing a dramatic hand over his heart and against his forehead as he swooned back like a fainting maiden. “So cruel, Shimei! You would think so little of this noble Shixiong of yours! Bully our Xiao-Shidi? How could I? Drive a stake into my heart first!”

“Someone pass me a stake,” Xie Hong snickered. “Shidi, cover your ears.”

“I’ll beat you! You one-legged bastard!” Song Rong swung his fist in the air while Xie Hong dispatched his wooden prosthetic from his thigh and waved it around like a sword.

“Bring it on, you toad-lipped monkey!”

“Children, the lot of them.” Xia Cheng scoffed, the other girls around her giggling and egging on their peak brothers. She looked over at Shen Yuan, who stood closer to her side than the others, and smiled, reaching out to pull the boy closer. “How was your horse riding, Shidi? Is Yingzi still giving Song Rong trouble?”

Shen Yuan snickered at that, having grown used to the affectionate type of Ling Shou, especially his Shijie, and as such felt no compulsion to push them away due to uncomfortable proximity. “Yingzi still squeals at him. I don’t think Song-shixiong left a good impression on him.”

Xia Cheng looked over at Song Rong and Xie Hong, who were swatting at each other with an uprooted plant and a wooden prosthetic, shouting obscenities and insults left and right. “I don’t find that hard to believe, Xiao-Shidi.”

A booming clap came from the doors, and the rest of the disciples looked over to see Hu Lieling holding her hands together with a wide grin on her face. Wolfish teeth were revealed with her smile and eyes with slit pupils peered over each of her disciples. “Now, now. There is no need for so much fuss, Song Rong, please plant the dragon lily again.”

“Yes, Shizun.” The disciples chorused together, Song Rong and Xie Hong separating to fix themselves as Ci Liang entered behind their Shizun, grinning when she caught sight of Shen Yuan and hurried over, patting her Shimei on the back as she took to his side.

“Shidi will like today’s lesson the best so far.” She whispered in his ear, and Shen Yuan inclined his head to hear her better, raising a brow at her statement while the young woman only shushed him as Hu Lieling took to the front.

“Today, everyone, we will be learning how one can control plants with spiritual energy.” The crowd of disciples all murmured confusedly, most in the conservatory were still rather new to their lessons as well, which was why they were in this course. So, none of them—aside from Ci Liang and Song Rong—had ever heard of actually controlling any type of flora with spiritual energy aside from aiding its growth. “It is quite the intriguing subject.”

“Is it really that straightforward, Da-Shijie?” Shen Yuan whispered as Ci Liang’s fingers drummed rhythmically against his shoulder.

“In a manner of speaking, Shidi. Of course, as your skill improves, so will other things. This is just for beginners.” She whispered back, leaning down slightly as she looked over to where Hu Lieling grabbed a few of the potted plants and waved the disciples to come closer.

“When you wish to control something with equal parts yang energy to you, you must remember that your energies have to coincide.” She raised her hand, and one of the Fire Blossom Tiger Lilies began to grow from the stem, winding around itself like a snake as the disciples all watched in awe. Ci Liang whispered everything that was happening in Shen Yuan’s ear. “Where your meridians flow, imagine them in the body of the flora you are attempting to control. Just as if you would lock up your joints or push yourself too hard,” she swung her hand harshly, locking out her elbow as the stem of the flower snapped, falling to the ground. “You will break, just as will the flora you are attempting to control.”

“Does Shidi understand?” Ci Liang whispered, earning a nod from Shen Yuan as the boy tapped his thumb and middle finger together while he listened.

Hu Lieling nodded, reaching down to grab the stem of the plant as she held it to its severed half, a soft glow emitting from her palm as the two ends seemed to fuse together and the flower once again shone with the vibrancy of life. “Go outside now, I will watch over you all. Remember, your energies must flow steadily like the river and with the grace of the wind.” The disciples immediately hurried outside through the back doors, entering a large garden with a variety of training specimens.

Shen Yuan chose a small plot closer to the conservatory that was abundant with sunflowers, and he ran his fingers over each one, feeling the yang energy inside them before stepping back. “Da-Shijie?”

“I’m here, Xiao-Shidi,” Ci Liang called back. “Try your best, if you need my help, I will step in.”

Shen Yuan nodded assuredly, facing forward toward the flowers as he extended his hand the same way Ci Liang had described to him. He sent out a small force of spiritual energy, feeling it run from his fingertips until a faint and warm energy suddenly came to meet his own.

He let the qi travel up his arm, up to his shoulder, before he raised his arm, letting the rest of the energy flow through his torso and into his right arm. He wasn’t sure what he was doing, but he envisioned the sunflowers winding together to tie themselves into a braid without damaging the stems, allowing them to continue growing in the state.

He felt his arms grow tired and numb in a strange way; he didn’t hear Ci Liang tell him to stop because he had messed up, so he expected that he was at least doing something right. It was only when his fingers started tingling that he finally stopped, letting the energies separate from each other before he plopped onto the ground in the lotus position, a little disgruntled at having lasted for only a few minutes.

It was only when he sat down that he realized that the idle and excited chatter of his peak siblings had died down. He turned to face the person he knew was behind him, asking, “Da-Shijie, did I do it?”

Ci Liang was quiet for a moment, until she suddenly burst out excitedly, “Shidi…You did amazing! Look, look! Come here, feel it!” She reached down and pulled him up by his arms, leading him forward until he was able to trace out the entwined sunflowers. The three braided snugly, but the stems were still entirely intact.

Surprised, he was only able to say, “Oh.”

“Oh? What a diluted reaction, Shidi!” Xia Cheng squealed, running forward to hug the boy while Shen Yuan grunted from the sudden impact. “Shidi! You did so well! That was amazing! Have you been practicing without us?”

“This was my first time too, Shijie…” Shen Yuan mumbled, only earning himself a proud pat on the head from one of his Shijie.

“Then what an amazing first time! Shidi, it looks so pretty!” Xia Cheng waved over some of the other disciples, the group looking it over proudly as they praised their Shidi.

Shen Yuan felt his face going hot from their praise, quickly scurrying behind Ci Liang as the young woman laughed at him and his peak siblings either teased him or cooed. It was only when a stronger presence approached did the group all silenced themselves, moving out of the way so the peak lord could look over Shen Yuan’s progress.

“How impressive, Shen Yuan,” she hummed, looking over her eldest disciple’s shoulder at the boy who still had his forehead pressed against her shoulder blades. “Has Shen Yuan tried this before?”

The truth was, he had, but that had been in his past life. It had been accidental when he realized he was able to do such a thing, and it was never on purpose; always involuntary whenever he used to let his emotions get the best of him. If he got too angry, vines and plants would spring from the ground like soldiers ready for war, or if he got too excited, flowers would sprout from the ground he walked on.

It used to terrify him back then, and he did just about everything possible to hide it when it happened, and kept an innate sense of dignity and control over his emotions so they wouldn’t branch out without his consent in front of others, but now…

It was a good thing that he had such a freaky sense of nature?!

“No, Shizun,” he wasn’t lying! He just technically had never done such a thing in this life before! “This was my first try.”

Hu Lieling smiled, nodding as she reached out and patted his jaw, her claw-like nails poking his cheek gently as she said, “When Shen Yuan recovers, Ci Liang will help him attempt it again with something…a bit more difficult, yes?”

Shizun! I just said this was my first try! Haven’t you ever heard of beginner’s luck?!

However, his silent protest was all for nothing as Ci Liang grinned widely and said, “Of course, Shizun.” Bowing at the waist, she and Shen Yuan bid her goodbye as she went to check on the other disciples, who had either yet to have any luck with their work or had already snapped their plants in half.

“I think I just got lucky…” Shen Yuan mumbled, earning a pinch to his cheek from the young woman.

Something he knew was taught to her by his Er-ge…the traitor.

“I think Yuan-shidi just has too little confidence in himself. Let’s get you something to eat. Doing that the first few times will be rather draining, so you need to remember to rest and eat afterward.” She took him by the hand and led him to the dining hall, where snacks were already prepared, seeing as it wasn’t late enough in the day to be lunch yet.

“How does Shidi feel now that he has done it?” Ci Liang asked, munching away on a steamed bun while Shen Yuan ate his slowly…savoringly. It was something she didn’t miss. “He did very well, the sunflowers looked very pretty braided.”

Shen Yuan hummed thankfully before saying, “I feel sore in my arms…”

Ci Liang laughed at that, throwing her head back as she tried not to choke on her bite. “That will be the understatement of the year once we get you started with the Oak-Boar Vines!”

Shen Yuan choked at that, coughing as Ci Liang patted his back. “Shizun said only something a little more difficult! Oak-Boar Vines are practically sentient!”

“Yes, they are…” She drawled, taking another bite of her food. “But they can and will react positively to someone who knows how to balance their energies with them, and they can even become rather fond. I moved onto the Oak-Boar Vines rather quickly as well. They can be tricky, but once you get the hang of them, they will move with you like a limb.”

“Da-Shijie is too overconfident in me…” Shen Yuan grumbled as he took a bigger bite of his steamed bun, silently considering grabbing another one if his Shijie truly did intend to send him out to practice on such advanced-level flora.

She finished her steamed bun, watching as Shen Yuan ate his rather slowly. “Yuan-shidi is too underconfident in his skills.”

“Da-Shijie isn’t being fair.”

“Shidi will come to forgive me.”

Shen Yuan was about to make another quip when he heard someone walking over; one of his Shixiong. “Da-Shijie, the An Ding Head Disciple is here. Since Shizun is busy, could you speak with him?” At the name, Shen Yuan perked up, it had been a long time since he’d last seen—. Heard from his old friend.

A distant part of him had a hopeless wish that he might still remember him from their life, long since passed.

Ci Liang laughed without a shred of humor, catching Shen Yuan by surprise with such a lackluster tone. Normally, his Shijie was much more welcoming. “Him again? Fine,” she stood from her chair, patting Shen Yuan on the head as she reached over the table to the counter near them and placed another steamed bun on his plate. “Shidi will eat a little more before I return, then I’ll take you to the Oak-Boar Vines in the east part of the forest.” She left with only a nod to her Shidi, who had cringed sympathetically at the mention of the Oak-Boar Vines.

“She’s not really taking you to those things, is she?” He looked down at the boy who now held a half-eaten steamed bun and a plump fresh one in both hands, a disgruntled pout on his face as he nodded, swallowing his mouthful.

“I think she really is.”

“How mean of Da-Shijie, doesn’t she know that Shidi is still new to all of these things? You’ve only been here for a month.” He patted Shen Yuan on the shoulder as he grabbed a steamed bun for himself. “Why doesn’t Shidi come with me so he doesn’t have to eat alone? I have to go back to the greeting hall anyway, at the very least, then you can wait for Da-Shijie there.”

Shen Yuan nodded, preferring not to eat in silence anyway as he grabbed his steamed buns and shoveled the nearly finished one into his mouth so he could have a free hand. His Shixiong laughed at the sight of his cheeks pushed out from such a large bite, covering it quickly by taking a bite of his food. The greeting hall was closer to his Shizun’s home, a spacious house with a large garden and areas for a variety of beasts to roam in and out of. The grand hall itself was much larger, holding seats and tables for tea and lunch whenever someone would come to visit, whether someone not from the sect or another peak lord or disciple.

Ling Shou truly was a rather friendly peak, opening its gates to whoever dared to wander in, even if it was just for a quick visit. It was something that Shen Yaun found rather admirable, seeing as he remembered the rumors he used to hear of Ling Shou as a whole.

A peak of beasts and just as equally beastly disciples!

While there were beasts here, and many of the disciples perhaps even took on some features of such creatures due to their cultivation. Shen Yuan knew for a fact that Ling Shou did not house the true beasts and that such vicious monsters lay just outside their gates, saying such things about them when they themselves had the scales of snakes and the jaws of a vexatious fox.

He'd rather be a beast than be anything like those monsters.

His Shixiong brought him in, not saying a word the entire time Shen Yuan counted the number of cobblestones they walked over to get there; one hundred and twenty-five. Instead, he only ate his food as he made sure Shen Yuan didn’t trip over any of the protruding rocks and vines on the path and led him to sit near the entrance outside of the many rooms that housed meeting rooms and other such things.

“If Shidi needs his Shixiong, many of us will either be outside or in the fifth room on the left in the second hall. But of course, if it’s serious, he will only have to scream and all of us will hear.” The young man patted him on the head, once he left, something that Shen Yuan tried to understand why everyone did such a thing.

Sure, he was short, a failure of his genes—which made no sense since both of his brothers were tall—but did patting someone shorter than you on the head truly have such an appeal?

“I’ve told you before, so I say it again, No!” Ci Liang’s voice rang clear through the doors, and Shen Yuan paused in his chewing to listen closer. He normally wasn’t one to eavesdrop, but to hear his Da-Shijie yell in such a manner was…unnerving, especially since he knew just who she was yelling at.

Suddenly, the doors burst open, and Shen Yuan jumped out of his seat when he felt the air rush past him. Neither of the older disciples had noticed him just yet, so Shang Qinghua said unabashedly, “Ci-shimei, please, is this truly such a big deal? Aren’t inner peak relations meant to be friendly?” Shen Yuan ducked under the chairs, hiding as he listened closely.

Ci Liang rounded on him, growling and shouting, “I don’t know what your goal here is, I don’t know why you are so adamant about this…” He could hear her stomp closer to him, likely straightening her back to appear even taller than she already was, leaving Shang Qinghua to look up at her. “But stay away. I have told you once, then I have told you countless times. You do not know him; whatever reason you wish to know him is not good enough, so unless you have true pressing matters, I need to hear from you, leave.”

With nothing else, the young woman stomped away, her feet hitting the ground like the echoing of drums as the doors slammed shut behind her. Shang Qinghua cursed softly under his breath in that familiar manner Shen Yuan remembered from whenever he used to have too much paperwork and would loathe to start any of it.

Forgetting the steamed bun in his hand, he slowly crawled out from under the chairs. His Shijie was livid with Shang Qinghua; whatever he had been questioning her about clearly was not a good topic, and he had a feeling he shouldn’t try to get involved.

He’d find a separate way to see his friend again, even if he didn’t remember him the same way Shen Yuan remembered him.

Unfortunately, there was a large factor that he had forgotten about.

He was as blind as a bat and had never been inside the greeting hall before. He didn’t know the layout, so even with his stealthy ways, he inevitably ran face-first into a pillar he hadn’t known was there and landed flat on his ass, his steamed bun rolling out of hand across the floor.

“Oh shit…” Shen Yuan felt inclined to hum agreeably with the mutter he heard, but thought better of it as he tried to pick himself up and not let Shang Qinghua see his face, or at the very least give a quick and simple greeting and leave.

Shang Qinghua didn’t recognize him anyway; it wouldn’t matter if he saw his face or not. His steamed bun was already ruined, so he merely picked it up with plans to throw it to one of the beasts on his way back.

Is it rude to address him now? He’s technically my Shixiong and the head disciple of An Ding, or would it be worse just to say nothing at all? He had only lifted his head when, all of a sudden, he saw a bright blue screen right in front of his face.

[Welcome User! Welcome! Welcome! Welcome! Good things must be said three times!]

Startled, he couldn’t help but shout, “Gah! What are—.” A hand was suddenly over his mouth, and he immediately started kicking, only to be pulled into a room where he heard the door shut and watched and listened in abject horror and shock as this bright blue mirror screamed inside his head and let off a painfully bright glow.

[Welcome to the System. This System operates in line with the design concept “YOU CAN YOU UP, NO CAN NO BB.” We hope to provide you with the best possible experience. It is our sincere wish that during your time, you can fulfill your desires and, in accordance with your wish, transform a stupid work into a magnificent, high-quality, first-rate classic. We hope you enjoy!]

“Wh-…What is this!? What are you saying!? Why can I see this thing!? Who's here!? Shijie—!”

“Hey! Hey, hey! Don’t start screaming! Ci Liang will come in here and kill me if she sees me with you!” The boy in his arms finally stopped squirming, and Shang Qinghua glared at the blue screen he could see as well. “Thanks…Sorry, I really didn’t want it to go like this, but—.” Suddenly, there was a foot in his gut.

Falling to the ground, Shang Qinghua groaned in pain as he held his stomach, moaning in pain as he looked up to see Shen Yuan looking between the flashing blue screen and where he could feel Shang Qinghua. However, Shang Qinghua could only stare in mild disbelief and equally potent grief.

You’re really blind…old friend, I’m so sorry.

“Your kicks still hurt just as bad as all those years ago, huh? Damn…” Shang Qinghua groaned, sitting up enough so he could get a good look at this once Xiao-Shixiong of his, only now he was his Shidi. “Not much has changed…”

Shen Yuan froze, confused and startled. Why was he talking as if he…remembered? Resolutely, Shen Yuan hardened his stance and pursed his lips as he said, “Qixi Festival…”

Shang Qinghua laughed bitterly at that, groaning and shouting, “You still won’t let that go! Gah! Tianyan, I’m sorry! Please, for the love of the spirits, let me live that down!”

Startled once more, Shen Yuan took a step back, only to flinch when he ran into literally the only thing he could see clearly, and that blue screen only seemed to flash at him more. “It’s really you…you remember everything too, don’t you?”

Shang Qinghua picked himself up from the floor, dusting himself off as he said, “And then some, old friend, you won’t believe how much has happened! And how boring it’s been without anyone to talk about it with! I woke up as a baby here! With all my memories! I will never be able to look at my parents the same way again!” He stepped forward to embrace this old friend of his, only to have that smaller body barrel into him, fists drawn, and pouncing.

Shen Yuan pounded on his chest, hitting wherever he could feel a heartbeat. Five parts relieved he could feel it in the first place, and just as equally furious that it was there at all. “What were you thinking!? Why would you just—. What the hell did those demons offer you back then, huh!? What could have been so important that you would betray your sect!? Then you just…You just die in my arms! What is wrong with you!?”

Shang Qinghua took the hits with little backlash, grunting whenever Shen Yuan actually struck hard enough to hurt, but otherwise, the hits were a meager fraction of what damage he knew his old friend could do if he so pleased. Finally, his shouting and hitting ceased, and all that was left was the blurry line between sorrow and fury.

“You just…you died…How could you?” There was nothing left to be angry about. What was in the past was in the past, but it still hurt, and it hurt worse now that he could not see his friend’s face. When the last time he had gazed into those amber eyes, they had been glazed over with death, and his body was cold in his arms, not only from that ice demon’s attack.

A pair of warm arms wrapped around him, and Shen Yuan let himself fall onto his friend’s chest, sniffling and cursing him under his breath. “This one is sorry, Tianyan, I really hadn’t meant it. I…I didn’t want to betray the sect, now or back then, I really had no choice…”

Shen Yuan shot up again at hearing, “Now,” a new surge of anger overcame him, and he pushed himself to his feet as he shouted, “Now!? Now?! Have you not learned your lesson the first time!? Why!? What could they possibly give you!?”

“It wasn’t my choice!” Shang Qinghua countered, but Shen Yuan was far past the point of listening.

“Is it not already enough that Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe are here too!? That Luo Binghe is likely the same age as me when he should be a toddler right now!? Is it not enough that I know even less about my brothers than I did back then?! Is it not enough that instead of being a useless mute, I’m a useless blind instead!? What more is there!? What more!? Why you too!? Why…Why does it have to be you, too?” His voice broke at the end, and without the energy to maintain his anger, Shen Yuan was only able to wallow in the resurfaced grief and sorrow he felt.

“Shit!” Shang Qinghua sprang up, eyes wild with shock and fear. “Luo Binghe is here!? And he’s fourteen!? What kind of messed-up timeline is this!? I’m an Omega too! You shouldn’t even be in Ling Shou! I don’t even remember writing much about this peak in the first place!”

Surprised, Shen Yuan took a deep breath in. He wasn’t well adapted to identify other people’s scents, especially not when he was emotional, but suddenly the scent of sandalwood and paper infiltrated his sens,es and he couldn’t help but gawk. “You’re an Omega too!?”

“Yeah…That’s what my reaction was.” Shang Qinghua sighed, rubbing at his arm as if he had just been struck.

Shen Yuan was about to ask more questions when something Shang Qinghua had said suddenly struck him. “Writing?” Shen Yuan questioned slowly. “What are you talking about, writing? Shang Qinghua, what is going on!?”

That flashing blue screen he had tried desperately to ignore flashed brighter again, and Shen Yuan finally looked in its direction, only to hear its voice directly in his head in that unnerving way again.

[New Ally Unlocked: Shang Qinghua; Airplane Shooting Toward the Sky: An Ding Peak Head Disciple and writer of Proud Immortal Demon Way! +50 B-Points!]

“B-Points…Airplane Shooting Through the Sky…Proud Immortal Demon Way!? What is all of this!? Shang Qinghua! Wh-What even is this thing!? What kind of demon is this!?”

Shang Qinghua opened and closed his mouth dumbly, not having expected this, until the screen flashed brightly once again and Shen Yuan whirled around to glare at it, only to see,

[Error! Error! Memory Block; On! Switching to omniscient presence mode!]

“What—.” Before he could even get a sentence through, the light suddenly flashed brighter than the sun. Shen Yuan shouted in pain and stumbled back until his feet slipped out from under him, and Shang Qinghua caught him.

“Tianyan!”

What was left of his blurry, color-fused vision was blacked out; it felt as if someone had just thrown a rock at his head while putting the sun directly in his face. His head ached, and suddenly, images and voices from two different lives flashed before his mind’s eye.

When everything quieted and he finally only saw black again, he could hear the distant yelling of a person he had known for much longer than he realized. “Tianyan! Oh gods…wake up! Shit, what did you do?!”

He could hear the robotic voice of the system saying something, irritatingly devoid of all humanistic characteristics, and when he opened his eyes, he couldn’t help but feel grief at the blurry colors he saw.

They were nothing like the clear and perfect images that had just crossed his mind like a freight train. Groaning, he held his head as he sat up, looking up and around slowly as he tried to take everything in. Suddenly, everything felt so…foreign.

“I know it’s a lot to take in at first, just try to take it slow, okay? Believe I was just as surprised as you were when I figured out you were Peerless Cucumber—.” Tackled to the ground again, this time, Shen Yuan actually had his hands around the young man’s collar, near his throat.

“You hack fucking author! It was you! All of this! It was you!?” Shen Yuan shouted, shaking the author back and forth until he felt satisfied. “Three lives…Three lives and it’s been you!? I died in a hospital bed from expired yogurt because of your hack writing! Of all the illnesses I grew up with…all the things my parents did to keep me alive, it was you!”

“Bro! Don’t start blaming me for something that happened two lives ago! I can hardly even remember that world or that life! Don’t blame me! I can’t even remember!” Shang Qinghua screeched, trying to get Shen Yuan to stop shaking him until the boy shoved him away, standing once again as he paced around.

“We’ve…Or have I only been in this world…Proud Immortal Demon Way for two lifetimes now. My brothers…the brothel…everything. Has it all just been fake!? Has all of that just been for nothing!?”

“No!” Shang Qinghua picked himself up again as he clarified. “I know, I freaked out too when I first found out. But I’ve figured it out, we’re from that original world, which I’m not sure if you remember much of…” Shen Yuan waved his hand back and forth indifferently, half and half, then. “We both died and were transmigrated into Proud Immortal Demon Way as the characters we most related to.”

“That makes no sense.” Shen Yuan hissed.

“Hear me out!” Shang Qinghua huffed. “I was transmigrated into…well, this body because I gave him my name and because I mostly related to him.”

“You mostly related to the traitor of Cang Qiong, and you gave him your name, after making the plans to kill him in such a way later on!?”

“Look, I went through some periods in my life where I thought it was a clever idea, okay? Every author has a self-insert.” Clearing his throat, he continued. “Anyway, you were transmigrated into Shen Tianyan or Shen Yuan; Shen Shi, mainly because of your name and…something else maybe?”

Shen Yuan huffed, crossing his arms as he thought. “I had two older brothers back then, in the first life. They raised me more than our parents did, even though I was chronically ill, and we grew apart as I got older because…because I didn’t want them to watch me die.”

“So, pretty much the same exact reasons you did the same in the past life?” Shang Qinghua muttered, earning a frosty glare from Shen Yuan. “Never mind, we know why you were put into that body. Regardless, we were put in these bodies because—.”

[If the User has any questions, this System is more than happy to help!]

“Why are we here? Why didn’t we have our memories in our past life?” Shen Yuan asked.

“I was getting to that…” Shang Qinghua grumbled, crossing his arms.

“You took too long,” Shen Yuan huffed, looking back at the strange floating screen. It annoyed him that he could see it. Why, out of all the things in this world that he knew far better than the one he was originally from, did he have to be able to see this thing? “We want complete answers, no wordplay.”

[Of course, Dear User! This System is designed to help you with whatever you need! To answer your question: “Why are we here? Why didn’t we have our memories in our past life?” Is because the “past life” was the User’s trial run!]

“Trial run…” Shang Qinghua breathed. He was starting to feel sick. Sitting down, he was only able to hold his face in his hands as he listened.

“What is that supposed to mean!?” Shen Yuan hissed, stomping closer to the screen as it floated away from him. “What the hell kind of monsters call such a life a 'trail run?! Explain this!”

[When User Peerless Cucumber and Airplane Shooting Toward the Sky were first integrated into the world of Proud Immortal Demon Way, there was an error that resulted in the loss of memories and previous personality traits. This allowed the Users to live a full life as true characters of the story without any help from previous memories or this System. Due to this mistake, this humble System repaired the mistakes once the two Users accounts were terminated in the trial run to start over.]

“Start over…all of this…all of that, everything…Everything my brothers faced, everything that they faced, everything that we faced, was all for nothing!? In the end, it meant nothing because it was just a fucking mistake!?” Shen Yuan tried to grab at the screen, hissing and yelling until he gave up and panted raggedly, glaring murderously at the only clear thing in his vision.

He’d gouge out his own eyes again if it meant he didn’t have to look at this damned thing.

[This System apologizes for any distress caused. Now that User Peerless Cucumber has unlocked the final key to inherit this System, he may call upon it at any time if he needs any assistance! The OOC character lock has already been disabled, so User does not need to worry about staying true to the canon!]

“No kidding…everything is fucked up, what would be the point in staying true to the canon…” Shang Qinghua groaned, sighing as he stood up and walked over to his friend, patting his shoulder while Shen Yuan snarled.

“How benevolent, allowing us free will…” Shen Yuan hissed mockingly, turning his back to the System as it chimed like a small bell.

[User still must meet expectations to transform this stupid work—.]

“Hey!” Shang Qinghua shouted indignantly.

[Into a true classical masterpiece! User will have plot points he must meet, characters he must meet and grow with, and so on, to complete these tasks! Failure will result in punishment or immediate account deletion! This System wishes Dear Users good luck!]

“Account deletion…?” Shen Yuan murmured, turning to where he felt Shang Qinghua’s hand on his shoulder. “What does that…what does that mean?”

Shang Qinghua sighed heavily, shaking his head as he said, “It means we die. That’s why I…That’s why I joined Mobei-Jun again in this life…It was one of the plot points I had to meet; if I didn’t, the System would boot me back to either our first or second life, and well…we’re already dead in both of those worlds.”

“The picture of free will is always a lie, isn’t it?” Shen Yuan laughed humorlessly, clenching his jaw tight enough that it began to ache. “Then what about last time? You weren’t under the influence of the System, why back then?”

Shang Qinghua sighed heavily, mournfully, as he said, “It wasn’t that much of a choice back then either. I was caught by surprise on a mission with my peak siblings, Mobei-Jun arrived and killed all of them except for me, and I had to swear my allegiance to him if I wanted to live… back then, I hadn’t met you yet, I was just an outer peak disciple, I had no reason to remain loyal to Cang Qiong…especially not with how I was treated…I regretted it all the more after I met you.” His face fell into his hands, shame coloring his tone dark and his eyes stormy. There had been very few days back then that he didn’t feel guilty for what he had done, for the traitor he had become.

With every night he and Shen Tianyan used to spend together staying up late, his old friend helping him complete his mountains of paperwork for Cang Qiong while he worked on the paperwork he had for the northern desert, he didn’t feel like ripping out his own tongue from shame.

Never was there a time when his old friend had told him things, revealed truths, and told him of things that he knew no one else knew of; he did not feel guilty. And that when that fateful day came, when Yue Qingyuan left so hastily after months of Shen Qingqiu’s imprisonment, only for Shen Tianyan to chase after him, that Shang Qinghua hadn’t wanted to beg him to stay just for a moment longer so he could explain. So he could explain how it was all a trap, that if Shen Tianyan left there and now…he could die.

But he had left before Shang Qinghua could even open his mouth, and even when he had fallen into his arms, the last face he saw was that of his old friend, the only person he knew who truly cared for him; even with how he denied it, there hadn’t been a second he didn’t hate himself for it all. There wasn’t a moment he didn’t wish he could rip out his own heart at the sight of the tears in his friend’s eyes, at the confused and horror-stricken expression on his face.

Even now…he still felt guilty.

“Tianyan…I—.”

“Shen Yuan.” He interrupted.

“What?” Shang Qinghua muttered, raising his head to look at his friend. Only to see that same expression that had been his death's final parting. Pursed lips and watery eyes, a strained attempt to hide all that hurt him behind the shield of cold indifference he had long since set up.

“My name is Shen Yuan, Tianyan was never my name. I…I never told anyone, but no one calls me that now…” His arms were crossed over his chest, an attempt to protect the thing that beat so brokenly inside his chest, and Shang Qinghua could only laugh brokenly at the sight.

“What liars we are…Yuan, tell me, do you think we can do it all again? These past seventeen years have been…they’ve been as shitty as I remember them. I couldn’t avoid the sect no matter what I tried, and you said Luo Binghe was here now, right?”

“He is…” Shen Yuan mumbled, clawing at his arms through his sleeves. Everything, every memory he had, now felt so…far away. He couldn’t remember his brothers or his sister’s names from his first life; he couldn’t even remember his parents' faces. And from his past life…it all felt like a movie, every scar, every nightmare, every sleepless night, and every pain he had faced…it all felt so fake now. “They're my soulmates…”

Shang Qinghua shot up at this, wide-eyed and shocked. He had known that Shen Yuan had soulmates in their past life, and that he wanted, theoretically, nothing to do with them. But this? This he never expected. “Luo Binghe? And…”

“Liu Qingge…”

“Holy shit…” Shang Qinghua breathed, he remembered when he would talk to Shen Yuan after a fight with Shen Qingqiu over how he treated Luo Binghe and the times he was there when Shen Yuan had to be around Liu Qingge for some type of mission…it had always felt strange, but now, that strangeness had a whole new tone to it. “Both of them. That’s…just terrible.” His sigh broke into a laugh, and he couldn’t hold himself back from throwing his head back and laughing through the overwhelmingness of everything.

Hearing his friend laugh after so long felt relieving in ways he couldn’t describe, and with every new memory that overwhelmed him, he couldn’t help but join him. Laughing hysterically, the two held onto each other until there was nothing left.

“We’re in so much fucking trouble…” Shang Qinghua wheezed, wiping a tear from his eye while Shen Yuan snickered and shook his head.

“No shit, fucking hell…How much you wanna bet that we could make it past Huan Hua before they found out?”

“Ha! With how your brothers are? Tough fucking shit! There is no way! Remember how they were back then?” Shang Qinghua snarked, raising a brow when he saw Shen Yuan’s face fall somewhat.

“Qing Jing should have just been called a prison at that point…” Shen Yuan murmured, rubbing his eyes while Shang Qinghua patted his back.

“Is Ling Shou any better?”

“Surprisingly, yes, I haven’t left it once, but it’s…it’s better this time.”

“Even without…” He hesitated, staring his friend directly in the eyes, and wincing when he saw not a single bit of recognition in those eyes, only warm jade hazed over by clouds. “Even without being able to see?”

Shen Yuan hummed at that, thinking it over before he gave his answer. “It’s…harder sometimes…but I guess, I actually like it?”

“You like it? Bro, don’t get me wrong, but that sounds…”

“I know how it sounds,” Shen Yuan murmured, sighing as he rubbed at his eyes, finding that even the faintest touch felt so…extreme. “But I suppose…I never wanted to see another thing in this world when…when I died. I had hoped it would be all over then, so I guess…what’s the point in wanting to see when there is nothing in this world that could be worth that pain?”

“Ling Shou really is good for you. I’m glad you’re here, at least instead of Qing Jing.” Shang Qinghua smiled, even though he knew his friend couldn’t see it.

“Yeah…I guess I am, too.”

The silence that fell was comforting, with nothing left to say, finally being able to just sit with each other and be in silence was for the best. However, that silence didn’t last long when an all too familiar voice shouted throughout the entire greeting hall, “XIAO-SHIDI!!”

Springing up, both Shang Qinghua and Shen Yuan froze at the voice. “Holy shit she is so fucking terrifying…” Shang Qinghua muttered nervously.

“No kidding…” Shen Yuan whispered, hesitating at the door as he opened it slowly, listening out until he heard those footsteps pass by the door. “Go!” The two bound out of the room, crossing the hallway until they stood on the other side as if they had just been walking around leisurely.

“Da-Shijie!” Shen Yuan called out, hearing the young woman’s footsteps, bounded over to them until her hand was wrapping around his shoulders and pulling him away from Shang Qinghua.

“I told you to stay in the dining hall!” Ci Liang shouted, swatting him on the back of the head while the boy smiled apologetically.

“Li-shixiong didn’t want me to stay in there alone while I ate, so he brought me here to wait for you, but I ended up wandering around and getting lost until Shang-shixiong helped me.” Ci Liang looked over the boy’s shoulder at the young man who grinned sheepishly, waving nervously as the young woman glared.

“He helped you, did he?” Looking down, she could see the nervous twitching of her Shidi’s hand and his eye; however, she also knew he wasn’t one to do well in situations where an act of concern could be misperceived as an act of violence. So, she wrote it off. “Very well, thank you, Shang-shixiong.”

“It was no problem really,” smiling nervously, he raised his hands up in surrender and slowly backed away. “If you don’t mind now, however, I have to get back to An Ding. Bye!” With that, he scurried out of the greeting hall as quickly as he had come.

Sighing in relief that a disastrous turn of events had been avoided, Shen Yuan flinched when Ci Liang put a hand on his shoulder, “Let’s go to the Oak-Boar Vines now, Xiao-Shidi.”

Damned by the heavens and damned by the spirits.

Chapter Text

“He hasn’t left the peak in over three months.”

“Shixiong says that as if it is a bad thing.”

An irritated huff puffed out of his chest, and Shen Qingqiu shouted, “Must this drag out any further, Shimei? Aren’t I recognized as his guardian? Why do I have to ask permission to take him anywhere?” Crossing his arms, Ci Liang only laughed at him.

“Shen-shixiong knows that is not how that works.” Ci Liang crooned teasingly, earning the harsh glare of the Qing Jing Peak disciple. “The second he joined Ling Shou, our Shizun became primarily responsible for him, no matter blood relations, and per our Shizun’s orders, Yuan-shidi is under my tutelage and care until further notice.”

Rolling his eyes, Shen Qingqiu hissed, “Shimei is younger than this one, and yet she is left in charge of him. What purpose does that serve?”

Ci Liang didn’t mind his tone or the quip, leaning back on her heels against the wall of the greeting hall. “Shen-shixiong knows that age doesn’t matter in this matter, Yuan-shidi prefers my company anyway~”

“Watch yourself.” Shen Qingqiu snapped, losing all semblance of teasing or good nature in his voice. “My brother may be naive enough to trust others easily, but do not think I am as careless. If anything–.”

Ci Liang cleared her throat roughly, standing straight and glaring at the Qing Jing Peak Head Disciple in the eyes. “Shen Qingqiu.” Her brows shaded her eyes, and Shen Qingqiu only raised a brow at the distasteful expression. “I understand your concern, as I understand your paranoia. But do not think so lowly of Ling Shou or my Shidi and Shimei. I can personally say on behalf of everyone who has come to know him within these past months that they, too, would much rather face the most dangerous and wild beasts that ever harm their Xiao-Shidi or anyone we call our own, for that matter. Understand that Shen Yuan may seem that way in your eyes, but he is anything but naive.”

“You claim to know him better than I?” Shen Qingqiu accused, only earning a scoff from the young woman.

“Yes, I am.” She matched his stance, crossing her arms over her chest as she said assertively, “I have had my chance to get to know him, see his behavior, and understand his thought process. He may be slow to start regarding the emotional intelligence of someone his age, but he is anything but naive…I cannot say I wish for anyone to understand the depth, but I have seen enough in my time to know what I assume.”

“Tell me.”

“No.”

“Ci Liang!” Shen Qingqiu shouted frustratedly, throwing his arms down as he sneered. “He’s my brother!”

“But is he your property?” Ci Liang cut in, cutting through Shen Qingqiu’s ire. “That is one thing I have seen enough from you and Yue Qingyuan, even in these brief visits…controlling, so terribly controlling, both of you. Is he your brother? His own person? Or is he someone you wish to have complete control over, just as someone would a marionette?”

“No,” he muttered, rubbing his hands over his face as he sighed. “We would…I would never want to do that to him. But I know how he is, I know that he will not assume until it is too late, just as I know that he will brush it off even if it happens, justify it even.”

“Does that warrant you taking away his autonomy?” Ci Liang questioned harshly.

“He hasn’t even left Ling Shou!” Shen Qingqiu shouted exasperatedly, throwing his hands in the air. “Take away his autonomy? What nonsense are you trying to preach!? I want to protect him!”

“At what cost? Shen Qingqiu…You think that this is an act of love, that your protection would save him from harm, while instead it would only hurt him. I have seen that boy; he craves freedom just as any wild animal would. Your protection would shackle him down.”

“Why should he leave?” Shen Qingqiu laughed hysterically, shaking his head as he willed down the ire that climbed his throat and made his tongue burn. “What business does he have down there in that world? The world that blinded him? What shackles would he wear that would not be ones he could not agree with? He is not a wild animal; do not speak of him as such.”

“Fine.” She scoffed, stepping aside to let him through. “See him today, take him down the mountain to visit Bai Daiyu as she requested in her letter, but when he returns by nightfall, you will see what I mean.”

Scoffing, he side-stepped the younger Alpha and raised his nose to her. “He’s my brother, I know him best. Perhaps Ling Shou wasn’t the right choice after all.”

“You will not take him away from us, Shen Qingqiu. Ling Shou may be widespread, but we are protective of our own.” Ci Liang warned with an assertive tone, her wild, feline-like eyes a harsh gold that practically glowed in the shadow of her face.

Shen Qingqiu laughed at her, vindictive and cruel, “As am I, Shimei…I am willing to face whatever you bring. Ultimately, we both know who my Didi would choose between us.” With nothing left to say, he walked through the hall and left the greeting hall with the doors slamming behind him.

Ci Liang huffed, kicking her foot against the ground as she sneered. A cat and a fox, one so sweet and the other so vindictive…Shen Qingqiu, you will be the maker of your own demise if you continue like this.

Shen Qingqiu cared very little for the other peaks; he preferred the secluded quiet he had on Qing Jing. Music hung in the air, scent clean and pure with refreshing hints of bamboo and river streams. He was entirely confident his Didi would love it there just as much as he had come to favor it. He just had to convince that baby brother of his to come with him, once this afternoon was over with; he was sure that his Didi wouldn’t hesitate to agree.

It wasn’t his fault after all, that meddling Shan Lielin and Hu Lieling both had practically plotted to steal his Didi away from him right from under his nose the second he and Qingyuan brought him to Qian Cao. Smiling and reassuring him with fake smiles and warm voices. He should have known better, he should have taken his Didi to his Shizun directly before Qian Cao so she could stake her claim first, it could have all been avoided.

No matter, it will be fixed after today. Shen Qingqiu reassured himself, looking around with a disgruntled expression. How was one supposed to find their way around this place? There were no signs. Nothing but untamed forests all around, distant sounds of wild beasts in the far-off distance, the faintest hint of music behind it, and the overwhelming scents of redwoods and dove trees.

His poor Didi! Being blind was one thing, but along with all of this!? And that Ci Liang just let him wander off all on his own without a guide at his side!? What the hell kind of place was this?! His Didi could walk right into a den full of beasts and never know until it was too late! Or he could wander into a vile bundle of Oak-Boar Vines and those damned things could wring him by his neck! Even worse, he could practically walk right off the side of the mountain!

He felt the blood drain from his face, heart pounding erratically in his chest, and he had to get his Didi out of this place immediately! But where the hell even was he!? Whenever he visited before, his Didi was always either in the dining hall or in the dormitories—which were hardly even separated by gender alone—seriously, what the hell was up with this place?

But Ci Liang hadn’t told him where he was, hell she had been adamant to kick him out until finally relenting, and he was not about to go back and ask that audacious Shimei of his for help!

Finally, from a distance, he heard the clobbering of hooves against the ground and turned only to see that beast charging full speed right at him! “What the hell!?” Shen Qingqiu used his qinggong to jump out of the way, watching in even wilder shock as another slower mare came charging after, the rider on the lighter-toned horse shouting as Shen Qingqiu finally looked at the back of that horse and saw a familiar face turning to hear his Shixiong better.

“Shen Yuan!”

Xiao Yingzi stopped abruptly, whining and squealing as Shen Yuan yanked back on his reins to stop him. Song Rong gasped dramatically as he pulled over to Shen Yuan’s side, laughing breathlessly as he said, “Xiao-Shidi, speak with your beast and tell him not to run so fast, it’s so cold that I can hardly breathe!”

“A moment, Shixiong,” Shen Yuan murmured, steering Xiao Yingzi over in the direction he swore he heard his brother’s voice, calling, “Er-ge?”

“Yes, Er-ge! Get down from there immediately!” That voice shouted at him again, reprimandingly, as he felt an arm wrap around his waist and lead him off of the horse, Xiao Yingzi huffing and snorting all the while. “Shut it, you beast.”

Shen Yuan dismounted, leaning into his brother’s hold as he patted Xiao Yingzi gently to calm him down. “This one didn’t know Er-ge would be coming today, Song-shixiong was riding with Yingzi and me until afternoon classes started.”

Shen Qingqiu glared at the statement, snapping his gaze up to the young man who sat atop the light brown mare. He wasn’t a particularly outstanding-looking individual, but he looked old enough to be held responsible, with dark brown hair sticking to his forehead and the rest hanging over his shoulders from the long ponytail he adorned. He smiled warmly at his sect brother, completely oblivious to the murderous intent practically radiating off of the Qing Jing Peak disciple. “Shen-shixiong! Join us, this Shidi can guarantee that Xiao-Shidi will leave you in the dust! That beast of his can run faster than the winds, especially with Shen-shidi leading him!”

“You let him ride that beast so carelessly!?” Shen Qingqiu snapped, startling Song Rong, while Shen Yuan reached up and tried to tug on his brother’s shoulders to calm him down. “He can’t see for heaven’s sake! What if he fell off!? That beast could buck him off and break his neck in a second, and you let him have so much free rein!?”

“Gege…Please…” Shen Yuan tried to speak up, but Shen Qingqiu’s hand wrapped around his head protectively, compelling him to lean further into his brother’s shoulder, silencing him.

Song Rong huffed indignantly, dismounting his steed as he stood in front of his Shixiong. He and Shen Qingqiu were evenly matched in height, so even if he was outranked in superiority, Song Rong had no plans to back down so quickly! “Shen-shixiong is being unfair! Xiao-Shidi is capable! Not to mention that beast would rather trample our entire peak to death than hurt Xiao-Shidi even accidentally!” Xiao Yingzi huffed affirmatively, even the beast wanting to give his opinion. “I ride with him every morning! Xiao-Shidi could beat anyone here in terms of horseback! Don’t talk down to him! Where is our Da-Shijie? She can even help show you just how capable Xiao-Shidi is! Shidi, Shidi! Show this mean old brother of yours the skills you’ve learned!”

Caught between a rock and a hard place, Shen Yuan could only gape in shock at how drastically this had turned in less than a moment. His Song-shixiong could be rather headstrong, and his Er-ge was just as bad, but this?! What the hell had even happened to cause all of this!? His brothers had seemed just fine with Ling Shou and his peak siblings before! What caused his Er-ge’s sudden change of heart!?

“Who are you to talk to!? What a Shixiong you are!” Shen Qingqiu hissed, pulling Shen Yuan away with him. “Letting him ride on his own on that beast’s back!? Put him on an Iron-Scaled Goat as well, why not?! It would be just as safe!”

“Gege…” Shen Yuan tried again, but his brother’s hands only came to cup his face, turning it left from right cautiously. “I’m okay…”

“I’m taking him for the day,” Shen Qingqiu said suddenly, fully grabbing Shen Yuan this time as he walked away. “Ci Liang already knows.”

“Wha–. Hey! You can’t just take Xiao-Shidi all of a sudden!” Song Rong argued further, but Shen Qingqiu leveled him with a glare.

“Who are you to tell me not to?” The smile that spread across his face was rather cruel, and Song Rong clenched his teeth to keep himself from growling at the mocking sight. What a jerk this Shixiong of his was! Yet he looked six parts like his Xiao-Shidi! What a cruel twist of fate! “I’m his Gege, aren’t I? I’ll take him when I want to.”

“Gege,” this time, Shen Qingqiu actually responded to him with a sound of acknowledgment, turning to look down at his Didi while Shen Yuan squeezed his hand. “Where are we going?”

“Bai Daiyu wished to see you,” Shen Qingqiu answered honestly, uncaring of the audience they had. “She found a permanent residence in the city and wanted you to come visit so you could know where it was. She invited Qingyuan as well; however, Didi doesn’t have to expect him to come along.”

Perking up, Shen Yuan couldn’t help but smile. “Can we take Xiao Yingzi then? I’d ride him there anyway if I were to go on my own, he can memorize the way just as well as I can, that way I really won’t get lost!”

Shen Qingqiu cringed as he peered over at the beast who dug his hoof into the ground impatiently…that beast reminded him of an impatient dog who was overly possessive of its owner, territorial, and aggressive to anyone else who came too close…

He did not like it in the slightest.

“Is Didi sure he does not want a new horse? Cang Qiong has many of…much better variety.”

Xiao Yingzi squealed at that, and Shen Yuan actually pulled away from his brother as he bounded over to the beast, hugging the horse around his neck as he cried out, “No! Yingzi is the best for me! He’s been there for me, too! I wouldn’t be a good friend if I abandoned him! Gege, don’t make me abandon Xiao Yingzi! What if Da-ge made you abandon me too because he didn’t like me!?”

“Wha–! Shen Yuan! Don’t speak such nonsense!” Shen Qingqiu shouted, flabbergasted. “Get rid of you!? Since when did that Qingyuan say such a thing, huh!? Who could tell me to do such a thing?!”

“Then you can’t tell me to get rid of Xiao Yingzi either!” Shen Yuan argued vehemently, the large beast leaning down to sniff at Shen Yuan’s cheek almost…smugly.

That…That damned beast!

Song Rong laughed at the scene, holding his belly as he wheezed, “Shen-shixiong might as well try to chew rocks! He’d have better luck to crush them to powder with his teeth than to convince Xiao-Shidi to choose anything other than this beast!”

Shen Qingqiu looked between the laughing disciple and his brother bleakly for a moment. He couldn’t help but feel…threatened. And that damned horse was smirking at him! He could practically see the mischievous glint in the beast’s eyes! It knew damn good and well what it was doing!

“Didi, I don’t like him.” Shen Qingqiu spat out, glaring at the beast, who only snorted at him challengingly. “Look at that! He’s clearly aggressive! He can’t be safe!”

Shen Yuan ignored his brother for a moment—as well as the squawk of indignation that came immediately once he turned his back on him—and began to pet Xiao Yingzi’s mane. “Yingzi isn’t aggressive, he’s merely protective. Chen Qiang wasn’t kind to him and never treated him right. Of course, he would latch onto the first person who didn’t claim him a beast and actually cared for him properly.” He laughed softly when Xiao Yingzi nibbled his shoulder gently, petting the horse’s muzzle. “Even if Er-ge doesn’t like him, can’t he agree that it is safer for this one to stay with Xiao Yingzi, who understands me as well as I understand him, instead of trying to adjust myself to a new steed?”

Caught by his logic, Shen Qingqiu grumbled under his breath before relenting. “Very well…” Still glaring at the horse, he said, “We will take Xiao Yingzi, but only this once. I’ll take a separate horse as well, just in case.”

“Thank you, Gege.” Shen Yuan beamed, and Shen Qingqiu only hummed as he walked forward and took his brother’s hand again to lead him away. Xiao Yingzi followed closely with his reins still in Shen Yuan’s hand.

“Shidi! Make sure to race him on your way back!” Song Rong shouted teasingly, earning a frosty glare from Shen Qingqiu and a chuckle from his Shidi.

When they were far enough away, Shen Qingqiu muttered, “How does Shidi tolerate them?”

“They’re good people, Gege. They treat me kindly, and my Shijie and Shixiong are very welcoming.”

The time it took them to get to the city from Cang Qiong put them into the mid-afternoon. Shen Yuan noted the smell of a few different food vendors, the smell of rouge from another shop nearby, and the sound of hagglers. Shen Qingqiu led in front, even with what he had said about Yue Qingyuan being invited, he didn’t wait for the Qiong Ding disciple, even for a moment, once they had prepared their leave at the base of the mountain.

The ride itself was only about an hour, and Shen Yuan noted they were going west from feeling the sun begin to shine against his face, the lower it set throughout the day. He wanted to ask why they hadn’t waited for his Da-ge, but the moment Shen Yuan had tried to bring it up the first time, Shen Qingqiu had only said, “What need do we have for him? We’ll leave now. If he is desperate to come, he will.”

Though he couldn’t say he was surprised. His Er-ge and Da-ge had always been like this with each other.

In the past life, no matter what Shen Qingqiu did, no matter how terrible it truly was, Yue Qingyuan did not step in. He would try to smooth over situations with a mild tone and that irritatingly impassive smile. Never bore his own opinion, and never once spoke up loudly enough to put an end to it all.

He knew good and well just how strong his brother was; he knew that in the face of adversity from anyone else; Sect Leader Yue Qingyuan, the Xuan Su Sword, would not back down until he breathed his final breath. That in the face of battle, he was the calling card, that the moment he stepped into a room, all would fall silent in the presence of such a domineering yet agreeable leader.

Not a single person could badmouth him. He was a noble and righteous Alpha and an agreeable leader. He held himself to the same expectations as his peers and those beneath him. He smiled kindly to everyone, no matter their status or background, and he judged without bias.

At least, aside from one person, Shen Qingqiu.

Shen Yuan used to scoff at the sight of such a leader; someone who should have been an impenetrable mountain, fall and crumble underneath the gaze of a single man. He used to sneer and shake his head disappointedly at the sight of his Da-ge, someone he had admired so dearly, turning a blind eye to the abuse and sorrow his Er-ge caused.

He never understood how the love for another person: another person who didn’t even reciprocate such affection, could blind someone so clearheaded into being a bystander for such terrible deeds. It used to make him feel sick, and because of it all, a deep and bitter hatred festered and boiled deep within his heart for these brothers of his.

Yet, he never did enough to stop it.

Perhaps if would have let that hatred show, let every thought out, perhaps then they would have listened. But in the end, even when he allowed his heart to lead on the rarest occasions, he was never able to say it all properly.

In the end, it caused the final rift between him and his brothers.

“Shifu?” The young girl who came up to him had a sorry expression. A pretty face marred with worry and hesitation. She fiddled with her hands, and Shen Tianyan placed down his book to greet her.

“What is it, Ning Yingying?”

“Are you and Shizun still fighting?” The question caught him off guard, and he ended up dropping his book onto the ground, startling the poor girl. “This one only asks because Shizun has been in a mad mood…and Shifu hasn’t spoken to him since A-Lou…got in trouble a few weeks ago.” She picked up his book, trying to hand it back to him, but Shen Tianyan didn’t take it. Instead, he only stared down at the young girl with a tight expression.

He…He had handled that situation poorly; he knew that now. But the second he had seen Luo Binghe, just…lying there. Covered in blood and passed out from the pain the lashing had caused, a blind rage had come over him, and he had let his heart lead. He slapped his brother across the face, and Shen Qingqiu had said–.

It didn’t matter what he said now. Who wouldn’t say something hurtful after being hit so unexpectedly? He was still angry at his brother, and he didn’t truly want to apologize for his actions, but it was the right thing to do.

Besides, if he didn’t, who knew how that bastard of a brother of his would treat Luo Binghe now that his injuries had healed fully?

“This Shifu will go speak with him.” He turned away from her without another word, but Ning Yingying wasn’t offended. Instead, she beamed and smiled as she ran away to tell Luo Binghe that their Shifu and Shizun wouldn’t fight anymore and that everything would be alright.

The walk to the Bamboo House was longer than he expected; perhaps he was walking too slowly. But the moment he knocked on the door, only to find it slightly ajar, he walked into a familiar yet irritating sight.

“Xiao-Jiu, I–.”

“Who are you calling Xiao-Jiu?! Haven’t I told you already to leave?”

What a sad sight.

However, his presence didn’t go unnoticed, and Yue Qingyuan quickly fixed the sorry look on his face and smiled welcoming at Shen Tianyan. “Tianyan, did you need something? Qingqiu and I were merely speaking.”

Shen Tianyan ignored the gut instinct that told him to leave, especially when he caught the frosty glare of his Er-ge, but quickly shook it off. He came here for a reason, and he would see it out so he could leave as quickly as possible. “Yes, this one came to speak with Er-ge.”

Yue Qingyuan nodded understandingly, turning to Shen Qingqiu, awaiting either the invitation to sit down or the order to leave so he and their Didi could speak in private. Instead, Shen Qingqiu only looked away from him, an indifferent expression on his face, as if he didn’t know who was speaking.

A few moments passed before Yue Qingyuan looked away hesitantly, focusing his gaze on Shen Tianyan he bore a natural impassive frown. What a familiar expression, and yet, it seemed entirely unfamiliar at the moment. “Didi…Qingqiu–.”

“Xiongzhang, I would like to speak with you, now please.” Shen Tianyan interrupted him, but even with being addressed again, Shen Qingqiu did not turn to face him.

“Qingqiu-shidi…” Yue Qingyuan was actually given a side glance at the call, and he couldn’t help but cringe when he saw the cold expression on the younger man’s face.

“Zhangmen-shixiong, has Tianyan confused me for someone else?”

The question left him baffled. Confused him with someone else? Our Didi is calling for you, Xiao-Jiu! Who else could have confused you with?

“Gege…” It had been a long while since Shen Tianyan had called either Yue Qingyuan or Shen Qingqiu so intimately, and Yue Qingyuan desperately looked between Shen Qingqiu and Shen Tianyan, a quiet hope in his eyes.

Shen Qingqiu turned to him at that, and the sect leader couldn’t help but sigh in relief, perhaps such an affectionate address broke through that cold exterior of the Qing Jing Peak Lord. “Who are you calling Gege?” Perhaps not…

Shen Tianyan didn’t seem surprised, pursing his lips as he looked down at his feet and spoke through a tight throat. “Xiongzhang…I wanted to apologize for how I reacted in the past weeks to your…lesson regarding Luo Binghe, I was out of line.”

Yue Qingyuan nodded softly, his Didi could be stubborn, but he knew when to step up for what he had done wrong. Looking over at Shen Qingqiu, he could only hope the man would accept the apology.

“Indeed, you were, imagine such a thing, confronting your peak lord with a raised hand rather than a proper argument?”

The quip stung, but Shen Yuan nodded understandingly. He had done wrong, it wasn’t wrong for his brother to be upset with him, he just had to smooth things over again and everything would go back to the normal they had established so long ago. “This one apologizes sincerely, Xiongzhang.”

“Xiongzhang? Who are you calling such a name?” Shen Tianyan couldn’t help but look up, confused and almost…fearful. He had apologized, but was his brother truly so cross with him that he would… “Hasn’t this Lord told you that I have no brother named Tianyan, only a Didi that I named Yuan? Is that your name, Tianyan?” He was, it seemed…

“Qingqiu!” Yue Qingyuan shouted, aghast. Mortified and wide-eyed, he only received a huff in response as Shen Qingqiu raised his nose into the air haughtily. He was unable to say another thing, too shocked to even open his mouth.

Shen Tianyan, however, only stared dumbfounded. His Da-ge said not another word, and his Er-ge only glared down at him as if he were a maddened stranger who barged into his home and started calling him such addresses out of the blue.

The silence held out for a while longer. Perhaps it was the last desperate attempt he had to see if truly his brothers were willing to go this far, but when neither spoke, and when his Da-ge didn’t make a single move to step in, he knew the answer as plain as the paint on the wall.

He steeled himself, bowing at the waist, he stared at his feet. His throat was growing sore, but he could say this at the least. “Of course, forgive this one for his confusion…” A bitter part of his soul erupted to life the moment he spoke, and he was unable to bite his tongue before he bit out, “This lowly Shen merely remembered unclearly. I have only two older brothers by the names of Qi and Jiu, not Qingyuan and Qingqiu. This one will not make the mistake again.”

He felt pure mortification the second he spoke, unable to steer his gaze from the ground, he straightened and turned swiftly and rushed out of the Bamboo House without a single farewell given, and without a single call from either of the peak lords for him to return.

If he had returned to his cottage that day, teary-eyed and unable to catch his breath, falling to the ground and hugging his knees to his chest as he tried to battle through emotions of which he was unfamiliar, then no one would ever need to know.

And if since that day he had never called out to his brothers, not even in regards to a simple conversation, then his heart would grow old and hardened silently.

No one would ever need to know.

“A-Yuan!” Xiao Yingzi squealed agitatedly beneath him the moment Shen Qingqiu’s horse came too close, and Shen Yuan flinched the second a hand cupped his face. “Why are you crying? What is wrong?”

He had forgotten where he was. Memories blur into reality to remind him of his failures, of everything he could have prevented but was never able to, and of the people he had lost due to his terrible nature.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. What a terrible Shifu and Didi I was. How could it have been wrong for them to cast me aside? To deny me as their brother? Who wouldn’t? This time–. This time I can’t fail, this time I—.

“A-Yuan!” He finally came back to himself, feeling the cold spring air against his tear-stained cheeks, and his brother’s hand that wiped them away. “What happened? Gege is here, explain it to me, tell me what happened.”

Gege…You’re so different now. I still hardly understand you, and yet, you’re not so different from what I remember. Does that mean you’ll hate me here, too? What will it take for you to turn your back on me this time?

His tears did not cease; instead, a choked sob tore through his throat, and Shen Qingqiu was unable to bear such a sight a moment longer. Dismounting his horse, he wrapped his arms around Shen Yuan’s waist, pulling him from the saddle as he cradled the boy in his arms. Cooing and petting his head, the Qing Jing Peak disciple rubbed his knuckles against his cheek, tucking the short boy under his chin and scenting him thoroughly until his hair and clothes reeked of bamboo and ink.

The scenting seemed to do the trick; his Didi’s breathing evened out, and Shen Yuan was able to calm down enough that the only tears left were the ones drying on his cheeks. Shen Qingqiu wiped them all away, thumbing his brother’s cheeks until the skin was pink, and he kissed the boy’s temple. “Can Didi explain now?”

“Will Gege hate me eventually? Will I stop being his brother if he hates me?” The question practically hit him in the chest. Leaving him breathless and without the means to control himself as he stared down at his little brother with a wild expression.

Hate him? Stop being his brother? What—. What nonsense! Who told him such things!? What made him think—? “Why would I hate my Didi? How could I stop being his brother? Who put those idiotic ideas in your head?!” His arms tightened around Shen Yuan, and the sorrowful scent of withered mint and sour vanilla only made his emotions flare higher.

Who told you this? Why would you think such a thing? Tell me so I can kill them. Didi, what could make me hate you? You’re mine A-Yuan, what could happen to change that?

Shen Yuan sniffled, tucking himself just a little closer to his brother’s chest, the steady sound of his heartbeat soothing him until he was able to speak clearly. “This Didi is hard to handle…and if I made Gege angry enough…Wouldn’t he come to hate me?”

Shen Qingqui scoffed, cupping Shen Yuan’s face as he said, “Hard to handle? What is hard to handle? So what if I get angry? Why would I hate you after that? If Didi doesn’t want to face me angry, then he can turn away and wait for me to calm down. What could change the fact that you’re mine, A-Yuan? A part of me and always in my heart?”

Gege…if only you knew… Shen Yuan thought sorrowfully as he hugged his brother just a little tighter. How was he to forget the past like this? When his brothers act so differently? When he was always so confused and unsure? How was he to move on? When all it did was raise those memories again, haunting him like phantoms?

How was he to look at this world the same? When memories from two different lives came to blur the line between reality and the past? How could he think of anything the same when he couldn’t tell the difference between the memories of his Da-ge and Er-ge from his first life to the one he knew so well now?

So what if he didn’t remember them clearly? So what if he only remembered reading that trashy fucking novel because he had lived through it all in his past life? He could still miss a life he didn’t even remember, couldn’t he? Wasn’t he allowed to mourn the people whom he should feel love for? Wasn’t he supposed to miss them terribly? Even if the only memories he had of those people long since lost were either blurred or replaced by the memories he had of his Qi-ge and Jiu-ge?

This pain was unexpected. He hadn’t reacted this violently when he first found out, or even days afterward when he read through the entire manual of the System provided by that blue screen that only he and Shang Qinghua could see. But it seemed that he was nowhere near as mature or as strong as he should be.

“I love you, Gege…please don’t leave me behind…” The vulnerability caught both Shen Yuan and Shen Qingqiu off guard; he couldn’t feel the strength to speak, so he only hugged his Er-ge tighter.

Shen Qingqiu, however, could feel an unfamiliar sting in his eyes. He had cried so rarely in his life. The only times he could remember were when he had been first separated from his Didi and Qi-ge in the Qiu Manor, and again when he thought that surely his Didi had died somewhere along the way with Qiu Haitang after months of fruitless searching with that Wu Yangzi.

He had been lied to, told that if he burned down the Qiu Manor, killed Qiu Jianluo, and fled with Wu Yanzi, then he would be able to free his brother with him, and they could escape to a better life. Only, he had done it all, and he had never found his brother again afterward. What remained of the Qiu family and their servants vanished into thin air, escaping in the dead of night, never to be seen again. Even after relentless searching, Shen Qingqiu—. Shen Jiu had never even found a single hair to track from his Didi.

He had wept the night reality sunk in. Bitter and angry, quiet and strained, he did his best to keep himself scarce as he fled to the woods outside the drafty and shitty inn they were staying in. He sobbed far into the night until the skin of his face was dry and cracking, and his body was so exhausted that he could barely keep himself standing.

He had burned down that estate with the hopes that he would track down his brother from where Qiu Haitang had dragged him along to spare him the gory sight it had all become, only to lose it all in that one night.

However, the most recent, and most painful time he had cried, had been when he had gone to An Ding with orders to retrieve a few documents for his Shizun when a young disciple had come up to him holding a small and crinkled letter: asking him if perhaps the surname ‘Shen’ on the paper was indeed referring to him, seeing as the name was scribbled out as “Jiu” and not “Qingqiu.”

He had snatched the paper from that disciple so quickly that he nearly knocked over a vase. No one should have known that name, the name he had abandoned so long ago. That is, until he read the contents.

Without even meaning to, he jumped on Xiu Ya and flew to Qiong Ding, shouting until Yue Qingyuan came out to see him, worried and fretting with that stupid look on his face. He had only been able to slam the letter into his chest as he ordered the Qiong Ding Head Disciple to prepare to leave within the hour. He had left before the tears in his eyes could be seen, and practically raced to the base of the mountain to prepare his horse through the uncontrollable sobs tearing through his chest.

The contents within that letter had left his heart shattering, his blood freezing and boiling simultaneously, and the white-hot flash of hope sparking alive within his heart after so long of being snuffed out by the cold winds of reality.

If he had ended up falling to his knees, sobbing and wailing from both grief and relief in those stables, clutching onto the robes that covered his chest so desperately that he nearly tore through them with his bare hands, then no one was there to bear witness. And he had composed himself before Yue Qingyuan came stampeding into the stables, a satchel full of medical supplies, clothes, and other such necessities strapped around his shoulders with eyes just as red as his own.

No, no, he was not one to cry.

But now, here in the small street with his brother clinging onto him so desperately, begging him not to hate him, to not stop loving him, he could only brave through the clenching of his heart until hot tears burned through his eyes. “Why would I leave you? A-Yuan–.” He ignored the way his voice broke, clearing his throat as he practically tried to morph his little brother’s body into his, sniffling wetly. “How could I? Don’t–. Don’t say such things to your Gege…What would I do if I—. If I lost you? A-Yuan, Didi, my A-Yuan…tell me what would be left of me? What more would I have to live for if not for you?”

Shen Yuan cried harder at that, his heart simultaneously breaking and healing all at once. Was this so hard? Why couldn’t it have been like this before? Why had he and his Gege needed to fight so badly? Why was fate so cruel as to make him lose him back then? System or not, trial run or not, whatever else cruel twists and turns fate had for them, why couldn’t he have said all of this back then?

Why did he have to be so weak? So stupid and terrible? Why did he have to be such a bad Shifu and brother? Why was it that anyone he seemed to love only came to hate him because of his nature? Why couldn’t he have been different back then?

Shen Qingqiu cooed to him, petting his head and soothing him with every sob that tore through the boy’s chest. Unable to pull away to wipe his own tears, he was left to startle and glare at the sound of hooves coming toward them, only to scowl when he saw who it was that dismounted.

“Xiao-Jiu! A-Yuan! What happened!? Are you alright!?” Yue Qingyuan ran over, forgetting himself as he wrapped his arms around both of them, practically crushing Shen Yuan while Shen Qingqiu growled lowly as being squished into the older man’s shoulder.

“We’re okay now, Da-ge…” Shen Yuan sniffled, pulling away just enough to rub at his nose while Yue Qingyuan looked down worriedly, cupping the boy’s face with his hand and wiping at the tears on his cheek.

On the other hand, he tried to do the same for Shen Qingqiu, so shell-shocked by the sight of the other man crying so openly that he forgot himself until the Qing Jing Peak Head Disciple slapped his hand away with a glare. “Yes, yes, we’re fine! Let us go!” Immediately, Yue Qingyuan released the two, though only Shen Qingqiu backed away from him. Shen Yuan instead kept a close distance so his brother’s hand wouldn’t leave his face.

“Xiao-Jiu, are you sure—.”

“Haven’t I told you not to call me that!?” At the sudden tone, Shen Yuan couldn’t help but flinch. Yet, all of this was so painfully familiar that he couldn’t help but purse his lips and await the expected response of his Da-ge.

“Forgive me, Qingqiu-shidi, but when I saw you and A-Yuan…I couldn’t help but worry.” There it was.

“What need do we have for your worrying?” Shen Qingqiu snapped, crossing his arms over his chest while Yue Qingyuan sighed dejectedly. “You didn’t even need to come. What are you even doing here?”

“Of course, I would come, Qingqiu-shidi…” His voice was gentle, but Shen Yuan could hear the hurt in it, and he couldn’t help but glare at the ground. His Da-ge was so strong, except for when it came to his Er-ge. “Bai Daiyu wished for all of us to see her new home. What if A-Yuan came here and he needed one of us to come for him? I couldn’t bear the thought of him being in a situation where I was unable to get to him in time.”

Scoffing, Shen Qingqiu turned his back on the Qiong Ding disciple. “Of course,” he mocked cruelly, smiling with the teeth of a fox as he said, “You likely couldn’t bear the thought of not coming? It must be such a hardship upon your soul.”

Shocked by such words, both Shen Qingqiu and Yue Qingyuan were left to a tense silence until Yue Qingyuan was able to utter a weak, “Xiao-Jiu…”

“What is all of this?” Bai Daiyu’s voice suddenly cut through the tense silence, and Shen Yuan praised the high heavens for the woman’s arrival as he ran over to her. Hugging her and clinging onto her arm as she spoke. “You all…Come inside, then, if you’re all here. We can eat as we talk this out.”

Shen Qingqiu and Yue Qingyuan both were left speechless as they reluctantly followed the woman inside. Bai Diayu was a well-read and intelligent young woman. As such, being in her prime, it was not difficult at all for her to find work at the local university as a novelist professor. It also was a great help that Ci Liang had personally gone with her to introduce the woman to the headmaster and give her personal recommendation.

Her home was spacious enough for a small family, tastefully decorated with silver and jade, calligraphy, and beautiful antiques. Yet minuscule enough that there wasn’t an abundance of clutter. When she led them to sit down, Shen Yuan noted the candles burning in the corner of the room, giving off a weak scent of jasmine that barely hid the milk candy-like scent that came naturally wherever Bai Diayu went.

Tea was placed on the table, cups, and plates of small snacks along with it. However, even when she sat down, no one at the table started the conversation. So, with a sigh, Bai Daiyu took matters into her own hands. “Yue-Daozhang, Shen-Daozhang, I believe there are things that should be discussed.” Truthfully, Bai Daiyu was only twenty-two, the same age as Yue Qingyuan, so she was just as youthful as the other two. While she was far more mature than one would expect for someone so young, in a moment like this, she resembled a mother scolding her children as she raised her cup to her lips languidly.

Neither Shen Qingqiu nor Yue Qingyuan said a word, one too ashamed to speak, and the other too enraged to even open his mouth without snarling at such a knowing look on the woman’s face. Shen Yuan sat next to her, fiddling with his teacup nervously as he waited for someone to speak, the tension could be cut with a knife and he especially didn’t know where to start.

His brothers had always been like this. While he always wanted to know what had caused their relationship to become so one-sided and strained, it almost scared him to learn the truth, to hear the testimonies, and perhaps find an answer. What would change after that? Could he even handle that level of change?

Finally, from both Bai Daiyu’s chiding stare and Shen Yuan’s nervous fiddling, Yue Qingyuan couldn’t bear the silence or the drumming of his own heart as he spoke, “Qingqiu-shidi…I want to apologize.”

Shen Qingqiu scoffed at him, crossing his arms as he hissed, “Again? What haven’t you apologized for? Get it done and over with, what does it matter anymore?”

“Shen-Daozhang…” Bai Daiyu coaxed, but Shen Qingqiu only turned his nose up at her.

“Xiao-Jiu, please…”

“Enough with the Xiao-Jiu! Is that all you know how to say!?” Shen Qingqiu barked, glaring heartfully at the Qiong Ding Head Disciple as Yue Qingyuan deflated. “I don’t give a damn about what you have to apologize for! What more does it matter!? It happened, hasn’t it!?”

“Gege…” Shen Yuan cut it nervously. “Da-ge should get to explain…maybe it’s not as bad as it seems.”

Shen Qingqiu sighed heavily at Shen Yuan’s interruption, gaze softening as he glanced at his Didi. “Didi shouldn’t speak so surely…he himself is testament enough.”

At that, Shen Yuan couldn’t help but gawk. Had his Er-ge truly just…blamed his Da-ge for what happened!? “Gege!”

“No, A-Yuan…” Yue Qingyuan cut in remorsefully. “Xiao-Jiu is right, it was my fault.”

“Da-ge…” Shen Yuan silenced himself when Yue Qingyuan hummed sternly, settling in his seat while Bai Diayu held his hand.

“That is why I want to apologize and make amends,” he stood from his seat and held out Xuan Su, offering the hilt to Shen Qingqiu, who only stared at the sword apprehensively. “Xiao-Jiu, I want to make up for my wrongdoings and the pain I have caused. So please, pull out Xuan Su.”

“Qingyuan…what nonsense are you going on about!?”

“Please…” Yue Qingyuan held the sword a little looser, and Shen Qingqiu snarled as he grabbed the hilt and unsheathed the sword.

The sudden roar of the wind cut through the air, though before such unyielding spiritual energy could escape and demolish all within its path, it was suddenly pulled back. Forced down and practically trapped in the vortex that was Yue Qingyuan.

The man fell to his knees, coughing and struggling as he bit through the agony of having such unyielding and violent energy crashing throughout his entire body. Practically trying to crush him from the inside out to break free and bring about his destruction.

Shen Qingqiu: the only one who wasn’t as affected by such tangible energy that practically fell over everyone like a net, immediately scrambled to wrap his arms around Yue Qingyuan’s shoulders, shouting, “Yue Qingyuan! What are you doing?! What is happening!?”

A bloody smile was all he got in response. Remorseful and sorrowful eyes met his, and all of a sudden, it felt as if his entire soul was being crushed along with Yue Qingyuan’s. “What are you doing to yourself!?”

And then, within the cryptic abyss of silence, a sudden snap practically shattered the net of spiritual energy that had nearly forced everyone to the ground. Behind him, Shen Qingqiu turned to see Shen Yuan holding Xuan Su, resheathed and with a dreadfully pale and…angry expression.

Such a sight caught everyone off guard, Yue Qingyuan: who kneeled and leaned against Shen Qingqiu stared in shock at the capability of his little brother while Shen Qingqiu could only stare at the contort of his brother’s face, and Bai Daiyu: who had actually been shoved to the ground from such uncontrollable energy, was only able to look between the three with a bewildered expression.

Who knew that being the personal therapist for three cultivator brothers would yield such unpredictable and violent results?!

“If you knew it would hurt you…why would you do that!?” Shen Yuan screamed, throwing Xuan Su to the ground as if it had burned him. He stood over his brothers and stomped his foot on the ground to keep himself from lashing out. “Is that why you never draw Xuan Su!? Because it will kill you!? What would that have fixed!? Why do you think that Er-ge and I would have wanted you to die?! Stupid Da-ge! Why!?”

Suddenly, arms were wrapped around him. Much larger than his own, and he was pressed into a warm chest with an ever-beating heart. He growled softly and hit at the man’s chest, gentle despite his raging emotions, and practically head-butted the man before pressing his ear to the left side of his chest to listen to that heart beating strongly. “Bad Da-ge…Bad, bad Da-ge…” He muttered weakly, sniffling and rubbing at his eyes to keep from crying again.

However, it was not his hands that rubbed at his eyes; instead, the rough and calloused hands of his brother soothed the raw skin beneath his eyes, ultimately coaxing out his tears instead of shooing them away. “A-Yuan is right, bad Da-ge. This brother is sorry, please forgive me, A-Yuan.”

Shen Yuan huffed at that, shooing away his brother’s hand before burying his face into that strong chest, settling himself down with the scent of rosewood and petrichor. “There is nothing to forgive Da-ge for…Just never do that again.”

“Of course, Didi. This Da-ge will never scare him again.”

“What was that?” The sudden question caught both Shen Yuan and Yue Qingyuan off guard. The man turned to look at Shen Qingqiu, and Shen Yuan listened closely from the safety of his brother’s arms. “What…Why?! Why did Xuan Su do that to you!? What were you trying to prove!? That you were apologizing by killing yourself!?”

Shen Qingqiu marched forward, grabbing Yue Qingyuan by his face, glaring up at the man as he stubbornly and harshly wiped at the blood on the man’s chin and lips. “Do you really think I would—? What is wrong with you!? If it’s in the past, why would you do this!? What does it matter if you have the forgiveness of one person!? Could it truly mean so much to you that you would kill yourself!?”

“It’s you, Xiao-Jiu. Of course, it means that much.” The sudden confession left him frozen in place, his hands still cupping the Qiong Ding Head Disciple’s face as Yue Qingyuan selfishly leaned into the embrace, taking it all for what he could, even if it was only for a moment. “This Qingyuan would gladly give up his life if it meant that Xiao-Jiu was alright…A-Yuan would still have you, I could live with myself as long as I knew that you both were alright…”

“You…Idiot. You’re an idiot. What is—. What is wrong with you!?” Shen Qingqiu let go of a side of his face to slap at his shoulder, careful to not hit Shen Yuan, while the boy only hugged his Da-ge tighter as if to prevent the barely there sting of the slaps from hurting him. “Why would Xuan Su do that!?”

“Back then…Xiao-Jiu, when you and A-Yuan were with the Qiu’s…” He hesitated, but when he saw that Shen Qingqiu wasn’t going to order him to silence himself, he continued, “I had made it to Cang Qiong, but I was so desperate to make it to you two and get back to save you both…that I had pushed myself too far.” Shen Qingqiu still said nothing, so Yue Qingyuan didn’t hesitate to explain himself entirely.

“I had constant qi deviations until finally, my Shizun had no other choice but to lock me within the Lingxi Caves…” He sighed deeply, momentarily relieving that terrible year of his life. “I had gone insane in those dark caverns, my Shizun broke all my bones and my tendons so I couldn’t break myself out, and no one was willing to set me free. I had a terrible qi deviation that ended up bonding with Xuan Su, and now whenever this one draws his blade, it depletes my life source.”

Both Shen Qingqiu and Shen Yuan were utterly silent, but Shen Yuan remembered vividly the marks on the walls within the Lingxi Caves. He had been a frequent visitor in the past life in his futile attempts to fix his broken body and cultivation, and he knew those sword-like gashes and blood stains on the walls like the back of his hand. But now…knowing where those marks came from, he could only feel sick.

Yue Qingyuan, however, did not hesitate to speak what had long since been trapped within his heart. “Xiao-Jiu, I owe my life to you. Back then, if not for you…I likely would have died on the street as nothing more than a worthless child…I would have been nothing if not for you. So if there was ever a moment that I could repay you, even with my own life, I would do so without hesitation.”

“Who said I want you to do that!?” Shen Qingqiu screeched, hitting Yue Qingyuan resolutely a final time on the shoulder as he grabbed the man’s face and yelled at him. “Who said I want you to give your life for me!? Who said I need you to do that!? Do you really think I would live—! That I could live with you doing such a thing!?”

“Xiao-Jiu—.”

“What of us then?! With your guilt resolved and you dead!? What of us!? Do you think we could live with you dead!? What about me!? Why do you think I—. Why do you think I never talked about it!? I wanted to forget all of that! I wanted us to go back to how we were!” Shen Qingqiu screamed at him, reaching up and hitting him on the head while Yue Qingyuan could only stare down at him adoringly, something that only made Shen Qingqiu’s eyes burn more and more. “...We’re together now…what use would you be to us dead? Do you think—. Do you think that I wouldn’t hurt? That I could handle…”

Opening his arms, Yue Qingyuan reached forward and pulled Shen Qingqiu into his chest, squishing his face against his shoulder as he kept both arms tightly wrapped around the two. Shen Yuan made sure that one arm was wrapped around both his brothers, and Shen Qingqiu did the same.

“I’m sorry, Xiao-Jiu…This Qi-ge is foolish, please forgive him.”

Shen Qingqiu growled weakly at him, hiding his face in the man’s shoulder, only that way he was able to deny the wetness of his eyes and the hot tears that escaped past his threshold. “Stupid, Qi-ge…So, so stupid. What else could I do, huh? What does it matter anymore?” Finally understanding what Shen Qingqiu meant after all of these years, Yue Qingyuan could only laugh wetly and hug him all the more tightly.

Unconcerned with the tears running down his face, Yue Qingyuan made sure there wasn’t a secret left in his heart. “This Qi-ge loves his Xiao-Jiu…He wants him as his soulmate as well. We have our Didi back, we have A-Yuan back, Xiao-Jiu…can we have that? Can we have our family?”

At this, Shen Yuan looked up at his Da-ge, despite being unable to see, he could hear the smile in his voice and it made a distant part of his old and weary heart mend and heal splendidly. His awe and confusion were clear on his face, and Yue Qingyuan looked down with an even wider smile as he said, “A-Yuan, now you know too…Xiao-Jiu and I are soulmates.”

“We’re a family…” Shen Yuan murmured, earning an even tighter squeeze from Yue Qingyuan, who looked at Shen Qingqiu’s half-hidden face with the hope of a young man who had finally returned from war and was finally able to get his hands on the things most important to him.

Shen Qingqiu scoffed at his expression, unsuccessfully trying to hide the warble in his voice and the wetness of his face as he said, “What have we been this entire time? We’re a family that didn’t change before either, stupid Qi-ge.”

“Of course, forgive this one, Xiao-Jiu.”

“Stop asking for forgiveness…as if you need it, what else have you done wrong, huh? Whatever happened, it’s in the past now, leave it there.” Shen Qingqiu hissed weakly, his arm wrapping just a little tighter around Shen Yuan’s shoulders and Yue Qingyuan’s.

From behind them, Yue Qingyuan turned his head to look at Bai Daiyu, who was sniffling quietly, wiping tears from her face as she tried to keep herself composed as if she were watching an opera. “Of course, Bai-guniang is welcome to our family as well.”

Sighing heavily, Bai Daiyu tried to dry her face with her sleeve. “Of course, of course…this one is grateful, but give me a moment. I feel as if I just watched a novel come to life, the star-crossed lovers coming back together after so long with their child, ah, my poor heart.”

At the term ‘star-crossed lovers,’ Shen Qingqiu screeched and tried to look past Yue Qingyuan to glare at the woman, but was only able to move his head slightly, Yue Qingyuan still holding onto both Shens far too tightly for either to escape.

However, after so long, neither truly wanted to.

It was late at night when they finally returned to Cang Qiong, having stayed late into the night for dinner and time to catch up with each other after so long. Stories were told, both happy and sad, embarrassing and heartwarming. Finally, Bai Daiyu shooed them out so they could get back in time to get a good night’s rest.

Shen Yuan had fallen asleep earlier into the night before they left, having been cuddled by Bai Daiyu enough that his limbs had turned to jelly and with his brothers so close by, even enough that he was able to snuggle into Yue Qingyuan’s chest once he was tired enough and have his brother’s hand draw circles into the back of his neck, he was practically defenseless and fell asleep almost immediately.

Just as the night they returned to Cang Qiong from the brothel, Yue Qingyuan rode atop Xiao Yingzi with Shen Yuan in his arms, while Shen Qingqiu rode at his side with Yue Qingyuan’s horse tied to his saddle to lead the creature.

Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu went to Ling Shou, where the first person they saw was to be expected, Ci Liang.

“Shen-shixiong, Yue-shixiong.” Ci Liang grinned at them, a knowing look in her eyes that made Shen Qingqiu sneer. However, Yue Qingyuan made sure to smile warmly, adjusting Shen Yuan well enough that the boy wouldn’t wake up from discomfort. “How was visiting, Bai Daiyu?”

Looking at each other, both hesitated until Shen Qingqiu looked away with a stubborn expression, and Yue Qingyuan smiled brightly. “It was…well, everything was well.”

“I see,” she looked at Shen Qingqiu with a smirk before looking back at the Qiong Ding Head Disciple. “And does Shixiong still believe Shen Yuan to be unfit for Ling Shou?”

Surprised, Yue Qingyuan looked at Shen Qingqiu questioningly, however, the Qing Jing Peak disciple only glared at the young woman before glancing at Yue Qingyuan. They both held each other's gazes until they looked down at the boy passed out in Yue Qingyuan’s arms, a smile tugged at the man’s lips while Shen Qingqiu sighed deeply.

“He will be just fine here.” Yue Qingyuan nodded resolutely.

“We will come to get him again soon.” Shen Qingqiu added.

Ci Liang smiled knowingly, nodding as she said, “This one is happy to hear that, Shixiong.”

Chapter Text

Mark his words, he was going to raze down this entire mountain the moment he got the chance.

That is, the moment he was actually able to leave the damn place in the first place!

Bai Zhan Peak, come or don't come, do whatever you want, but if you come prepare for a beating! What shit! Sure, join at your leisure but afterward don't even think about leaving or going anywhere without someone catching you and dragging you back!

Perhaps he wouldn't have been too angry about all of this if it hadn't been a particular person who continuously watched his every move like a Silver-Tailed Falcon and was quick to drag him back the moment he even thought that Luo Binghe was making another attempt.

Liu Qingge.

The damned bastard.

Despite the constant thorn in his side that was the Bai Zhan Peak Head Disciple, Luo Binghe had learned quite swiftly that Bai Zhan was extremely similar to the Demon Realm, at least in actions and hierarchy alone. On the other peaks, particularly Qing Jing, disciple rank was chosen through means of skill proven to the peak lords themselves and there were three ranks of disciples and to increase in rank was an arduous process in itself.

Outer disciples, Inner disciples, and Core disciples.

Hierarchy was established quite often here.

Bai Zhan was notorious for starting fights within the sect, going to other peaks, and causing a scuffle with their sect brothers and sisters for no reason other than to prove that they were superior in martial skill. However, they did the same at their own peak.

The first time he had awakened in the outer disciples' dorms to the doors being burst open and people shouting, he hadn't even hesitated before grabbing the practice sword he had been given and lunging at the first person he saw. They just so happened to be one of the leaders of this little practice raid. When he realized just who it was he was attacking, he backed off, already expecting to be scolded. Instead, he was congratulated and lunged at by his Shixiong, under the orders to continue or he would be beaten without a fair fight.

The second time it happened, he was prepared, his ears well-trained for even the slightest of sounds, and he had pounced into the fight the moment he heard footsteps outside the dorms. Such tenacity had earned him the rank of inner disciple, and he moved to the different dorms closer to the inner workings of Bai Zhan. The swordsmith, for whenever a blade needed to be repaired quickly without a trip to Wan Jian, and the training grounds of the inner and core disciples.

Of course, it had also put him that much closer to the ever-present thorn in his side, Liu Qingge.

Luo Binghe had taken to ignoring him until he was able to work his way up to core disciple rank and win their long-awaited rematch; however, it seemed that Liu Qingge had the opposite idea.

He was practically under constant surveillance! He couldn't have a damn sparring match with a single Bai Zhan Peak disciple without that bastard looming over his shoulder!

Liu Qingge! I don't give a shit who you might be to Shifu, I might just kill you first regardless! Then I'll go after than damned Shen Qingqiu and Yue Qingyuan. He was sharpening his sword outside of the—barely used—academic hall of Bai Zhan. Many of the disciples only ever went within these walls to learn the history of battles and perhaps battle strategy. Calligraphy and mathematics were taught on occasion, but brute strength seemed to be the favored weapon here. Not that he minded, his advantages as a reincarnated soul were already enough to give him an advantage; the illiteracy of his peak siblings was only an added bonus.

"Luo-shidi!" He tried to suppress the groan at hearing someone call for him, unable to help the urge to roll his eyes as he turned to look at the young man who came sprinting over excitedly. "Let's head out first before everyone else gets there!"

"Go where?" Luo Binghe questioned, only earning the snort of his Shixiong.

"Come on! Luo-shidi may be new and everything, but everyone knows of the festivities on Qiong Ding for the end of the Spring Festival. Luo-shidi won't wish to miss it!" The overly excited Shixiong quickly grabbed Luo Binghe's arm, dragging him along while the young man vehemently wished there was a way to shapeshift back into his original form.

He fucking hated being a teenager again! The best years of one's life, they said! Pah! Bullshit!

He had honestly forgotten that the Spring Festival was even celebrated in Cang Qiong. Qing Jing held some festivities to mark the New Year, but they were never to get in the way of "righteous cultivation," so such things were saved purely for the enjoyment of younger disciples.

Which he never was allowed to partake in.

Or at the very least, he was never allowed to partake in those festivities the other disciples had planned, but instead spent the Spring Festival in that little room of his, lighting the firecrackers and lanterns his Shifu gave him, but never joined him in practice.

At the time, he had assumed it was just his Shifu's cold nature taking over again, discontent to waste his time in partaking in such childish activities. However, as of now, with what little he knew, he truly couldn't tell anymore if that familiar impassive and cold frown on his Shifu's face was genuine, or if it was just another lie to fool those around him.

When Luo Binghe was young enough, he had thought that he could change such an expression and make his Shifu smile. He would push himself to extremes to prove his worth, practice until his bones ached, and wouldn't cause a fuss whenever Shen Qingqiu was cruel.

He remembered only once seeing his Shifu smile.

He had been watching Luo Binghe practice his sword forms. Luo Binghe's back was turned to him, but when he had completed a perfect spin, he sliced through stalks of bamboo with practiced ease. He had only glanced back out of habit, having already assumed his Shifu bore the same expression.

Instead, his Shifu's shoulders were relaxed, the corners of his lips pulled up in such a foreign way that Luo Binghe swore he was dreaming. In that brief moment of awe, he had seen such unfamiliar gentleness in his Shifu's demeanor that only vanished the second he turned to face him, desperate to see the full picture of such a rare sight.

Shen Tianyan had reassumed his impassive frown, and for a moment, Luo Binghe swore he had imagined the whole thing. Until he saw the twitch in Shen Tianyan's mouth, the struggle his muscles had to maintain such a cold expression after having been released from their strain so suddenly.

Luo Binghe was a passionate person; he was never one to give up and let go of something from his past. Yet, it seemed that with this Shifu of his...he always was trying to shove aside the past and start anew.

He had plans for Shen Tianyan back then. He knew that his Shifu would not stand idly by as his brothers were slaughtered and his sect was burned to the ground. Luo Binghe had plans, plans to trap him where he couldn't get into trouble—where he couldn't get hurt—and to force, reason with, his Shifu into understanding his side.

His anger toward Shen Tianyan ran deep; it was putrid and hot, it burned with the heat of a thousand suns, and yet...it never burned bright enough to allow Luo Binghe to just get rid of him.

That day...That day he had learned, the day he saw a part of his Shifu that he was sure that no one else, not even his own brothers, had ever borne witness to, was the day that the hand around his Shifu's neck only became that much more dangerous.

Of course, the thought to just snap his neck was there. So lithe and...fragile, it would have been easy. But there was a stronger part of him, an urgent, and feral part of him that roared and screamed until he paid it attention. A part of him that told him to loosen his grip, to drag Shen Tianyan with him, to never let him out of his sight.

That part of him made him feel sick the moment it flared to life inside him, and he left swiftly afterward.

That same part of him had practically torn through his chest the moment he had seen what remained of his Shifu's cottage. The smell of old blood, rotting mint, and sour vanilla. His back had gone numb from it all, and when he traversed those blood-covered stairs and saw what remained of his Shifu and Liu-shishu, that very part of him let loose a final roar. A final, desperate attempt for something. Something he did not know and something he was unsure if he wanted or not.

Then, it had died.

It died angry and unresolved within his chest.

He had been left to sit before the Ancestral Hall of Qiong Ding holding the husk of a man he had been so infatuated with that the idea of death seemed almost...unnatural.

Because it was.

His Shifu was an immortal. He should have lived for centuries; he should have lived to see generations come and go, young and old grow and die. He should have seen things far beyond the comprehension of mere mortals.

He should have been...

What he should have been...was something Luo Binghe still could not understand.

If his Shifu had known, if he had seen their soulmark his entire life, why not say a word? Liu Qingge had never been near them in the past life, the few times he had seen his Shishu had been on rare occasions when the peak lord had to visit Shen Qingqiu and would give a barely there greeting to Shen Tianyan if he happened to see him, but he never sought him out.

If that Shishu of his had known...he hadn't done a damn thing about it. Why? Because of his Shifu's nature? That he could understand was off-putting, but how could one so vehemently ignore their own soul? And if he hadn't known, what of Shen Tianyan? Did he know the entire time?

His chest ached every time he thought about it. The secrets kept, the truths hidden from him, and the final words of his Shifu.

He had laid Liu Qingge within the ancestral hall, laying him to rest where he was due, but had taken Shen Tianyan to the Holy Mausoleum. There was not a shred of his soul left, not even the faintest warmth of a previous spiritual core. His Shifu had been nothing but a husk, and yet, Luo Binghe had still been able to see the final moments of such an immortal.

The spell was taxing on the caster, to show the memories of a corpse without even a shred of warmth left was like trying to start a fire with soaking wet firewood. It was nearly impossible and frustrating.

But his stubbornness was all the worse than the simple means of the laws of reality.

He had watched every moment, listened to every word and cry, and had waited till the very end through a throbbing chest and numb head.

Never once had he ever heard his Shifu scream like that, cry, or even beg another person, and yet...despite it all, he was the last to take a stand, the final soldier in an already eviscerated army who sang with a voice very few had ever heard as a final calling card, as the final mercy to those around him.

Soothing and all-encompassing, those who had died by his final attempt likely hadn't even felt the blast hit them, far too enraptured in the ethereal song that clutched onto them with the power of a hurricane.

With not the final words of damnation, but a plea, a hope for the better.

"Live well...both of you."

How could Luo Binghe not know who he was referring to? How could he not watch these memories play out before him like a terrible show of fate and not stare down at the chained essence of his Shifu, only to hear the sword tear through the air and meet its final target as the image faded away into nothing more than dust?

His memories became blurry after that.

For whatever reason, Qiong Ding's Ancestral Hall was kept standing. Its doors closed permanently, and Luo Binghe spent a long time in the recreation of his Shifu's meadow; he couldn't remember when he had built it, or even if it were a real place and not something he created within his dreams.

He didn't remember much of life after that. A few blurry memories of carnage induced by his rage and need for vengeance, the blood of enemies coloring the ground, and the distant warmth of his wives' bodies against him.

And yet, the only memories that came clearly to him were the long nights he sat outside the recreation of that little cottage. As if waiting for the master of that modest home to come out again, to greet him with a quiet voice as always, to order him to practice so Luo Binghe could sneak another glance at that soft expression he had only seen once and yet never forgotten.

There was only one clear memory of one of his wives that he remembered.

"A-Luo?" A gentle hand rested upon his shoulder. Sitting in front of the crystal-clear water of the recreated pond, he could see Ning Yingying's gentle features in the reflection. He didn't answer her verbally, only nodding his head as a way of acknowledging her. "I miss him too."

The admission shocked him, startling him into turning around to face her. She smiled sadly, taking a seat next to him as she patted his leg without a single implication that she wanted a thing from him, as she normally would. She sighed sadly, looking off into the distance where that desolate recreation sat without a master to open its windows for a few hours a day to keep the stagnant air out, or to spread out various books and scrolls across the floor in controlled chaos.

"Shifu...Was very kind." Luo Binghe stared at her, unable to speak a word. Even when he had burned Cang Qiong to the ground, she had not voiced a single word of complaint. But now, she spoke of Shen Tianyan so easily? "He always acted so mean and cold, but it was a funny thing, you know, A-Lou?"

"Funny?"

"Mhm," she chuckled sadly, holding her hands together as she pressed a single finger to her lips. "He loved so deeply; you know? All those times he fought with Shizun because of how he...Shifu really did care for all of us, you know?"

Without the voice to speak, Luo Binghe could only stare, but Ning Yingying continued as if she were on her own and not speaking to her husband, who had officially announced his hatred for anyone of Cang Qiong aside from his two wives. "I remember when I first came to the sect, and I presented...he was the only one who came to help. He even told me about the amulet he wore to conceal himself...I swore to never tell anyone...but now, I don't think he'd want there to be any secrets."

Tianyan, was it only me then? Was it only your disciple you despised so fearsomely? Luo Binghe couldn't help but feel the bitter and hot rage of ignorance. There was still so much he didn't know, questions that could never be answered, and yet here was his wife telling him these things. Things that he should have known first, above all others.

Ning Yingying, never to be one known for her exemplary timing, continued speaking. "Shifu...he was sad, very often. He never smiled."

"He was cold and impassive; he didn't have the means to smile." Luo Binghe spat out bitterly.

Ning Yingying smiled sadly, patting her husband's shoulder as she said, "No...He did. A-Luo made him smile." When her husband's head snapped to her, Ning Yingying knew she had found something to work with and stuck with it. "Shifu...He smiled whenever I came to him and told him of your accomplishments, or if I mentioned our friendship...But it always looked pained in some way."

"Pained?" This was the first time in such a long time that he actually remembered speaking with one of his wives for so long without the implication of sex behind it. And the subject had come to this? Perhaps there were things he needed to fix.

"Yes, Shifu always seemed to be in pain." Ning Yingying murmured, clenching her hands as she remembered that quiet and impassive figure in her memories. The one who comforted her and reassured her of her worth and place as an Omega, swearing to her that not a hair on her head would be harmed so long as he lived. It pained her heart so terribly whenever she realized just how truthful her Shifu had been with his promises. "He always coughed as if he had a bad cold, whenever Shang-shishu would visit...there were times I heard him arguing with Shifu about his health...urging him to go to Qian Cao, but Shifu always denied him."

His gut stirred at that, a sick feeling growing higher and higher until a bitter taste was left in his mouth. He had personally handled Shen Tianyan's corpse, cleaned the wounds, and dressed it for burial in the Holy Mausoleum. There was not a single person left in the world who could have ever seen his Shifu in such a state to know what Luo Binghe knew. To see the things on his Shifu's body that he had seen.

Scars thicker than the claws of a Golden-Horned Tiger across his back, scars from the poisons that had spread throughout his body, marring the dim soulmark on his chest, and practically cracking his pale skin with horrific black marks like that of shattering glass. The unhealed wound across his throat, as if someone had used barbed wire across the delicate skin, rendering him speechless for heaven knows how many years.

A part of him was angered at the thoughts, at the images that flashed through his mind's eye, and yet...a numbing feeling crashed over him as well. One that reminded him that he didn't know. That he still didn't know. And that no matter his attempts, there would forever be things he never knew.

Ning Yingying frowned at her husband's expression. The past years had been...harrowing. She knew that the man before her was not the man she fell in love with, nor could he ever return to that man. She knew better than anyone the pain he likely felt...the remorse, the guilt. She felt it all. The day she had begged her Shifu to stay, reassuring him that she would plead on her knees for his life if it so came to it, only to be denied with a gentle hand and hug. A kind and hoarse voice reassuring her that he wished her well, and that not even for a moment did he fault her for her decisions.

She had cried into Liu Mingyan's chest that day. She remembered it clearly when, within only two days' time, her husband returned, bearing the news of Cang Qiong's fall and their Shifu's death.

If one were to be guilty, it would be her, and while she knew that there were likely feelings Luo Binghe felt that she couldn't understand, she knew all too well that they shared similar feelings. With a final gentle caress to his shoulder, Ning Yingying pushed herself to her feet, smiling sadly as she said, "A-Luo should remember him fondly. If there was anyone in this world who could care for others so readily without the means to receive it himself, it was Shifu...In the end, this wife knows that he would be happy to know A-Luo lived and how strong he has become."

He couldn't remember his death.

If it had come to him at all, if he had finally lost his mind and driven himself to insanity, or if, in the end, he had just given it all up. For not a single beauty, not a drop of the power he possessed, or any of the riches he had obtained seemed to quell the emptiness within his soul.

If he had died in battle, then it wouldn't matter. If he had died alone in his bed, then so be it. Or if he had died at the hands of those he conquered, be it his wives or his subjects, then it was merely a means to an end.

Even now, even within this new world, such things mattered so little to him.

Only, it was not those memories that he seemed to be plagued by so often. But the memories that this body of his had long before he took over it.

Memories of a woman and a man, two people who looked eerily similar to him. However, the woman more so than the man. The man had the same mark of sin as he, while the woman had his hair. There was another demon with the same mark of sin, only green instead of red, with scales across his hands and face.

Memories of travels to different corners of the Demon Realm that he had never ventured to in his past life until he became emperor. He remembered the man's voice, even if he did not know his name or even who he was. He remembered the stories he told, the jokes, and the airiness of such a baritone voice that it was almost impossible to imagine.

He remembered the woman, speaking less than the man; the man she called husband. However, when she spoke it was in quips. Smart and silver-tongued, she and that man bickered like old married couples he had witnessed on the streets.

Finally, he remembered the other demon, quiet and soft-spoken. He rarely even raised his head from the ground. Luo Binghe remembered a smaller version of himself holding that scaled and clawed hand, listening to that married couple either bicker or tell stories as they traveled.

He remembered his palace. The very one that he had reconstructed in his past life after having been abandoned for decades. He remembered the interior differently; he remembered that man sitting upon a throne similar to the one Luo Binghe had erected for himself the day he became emperor with that woman sitting at his side. At the same time, that smaller version of himself stood at the side with the snake-like demon.

These memories haunted him. Memories that were equally his and yet things he could never claim. Memories that he both recognized and ones he did not. Memories of a cold winter, a drifting body in a freezing river, and...the unmistakable and gentle smile of his mother. The mother he knew both in life and death. The first few months passed with nights struggling to sleep after witnessing these colliding memories vividly in his dreams until finally, he came to a solid conclusion that he still didn't quite understand.

That man and woman, the Heavenly Demon, and his wife were his parents, and that snake-like Heavenly Demon had to be some kind of family member. Likely not a sibling based on appearances, but no doubt related by the blood on his father's side. And somehow, in this life, the version of himself that had lived in this body before he took over had come to live with his adopted mother.

While it answered the question as to why he was witnessing these things. It left more questions than answers. Leaving him wondering just why he wasn't with those parents of his. Where had they gone? Had they abandoned him so readily? And if not, what had happened to them?

There was no urge to find them, or even to find the answers to his questions. For all he cared, those people were the family of someone else, someone he had likely killed by entering this body. What use did he have for them? What need of he, a reincarnated emperor, for such trivial things as parents?

He had survived well enough without them, and damn the fate's hands, he would do it again. And this time, he had no plans to let anyone stand in his way.

Only taken out of his own head when he heard the sounds of drums and laughter, Luo Binghe realized that he had been led to Qiong Ding, where the festivities were taking place. Younger disciples were playing with sparklers, others conversing toward the sides with their martial siblings from the other peaks, and a few were setting up the fireworks for later.

It all seemed rather...uninteresting.

Luo Binghe huffed when his Shixiong waved him farewell to visit with their Shixiong from another peak, and Luo Binghe had merely waved him away. It was rather crowded in the pavilion, and he suddenly felt claustrophobic being around so many people. The stench of others who had apparently never heard of scent-dimming soaps and oils, and the body heat of those who didn't understand personal boundaries.

It was all coming to a head with his ire until he heard a familiar voice behind him, and immediately his attention was drawn entirely to that irritating voice. "Luo Binghe, what are you doing?" Liu Qingge stood behind him, all five irritating centimeters looming over his head, which left Luo Binghe's eye twitching irritably.

Oh Liu-shixiong, wait only a few years...

"Well?" Liu Qingge asked, glaring at the young man as Luo Binghe only seemed to stare right through him.

Taking his opportunity, Luo Binghe grinned devilishly as he said, "Liu-shixiong, whatever do you mean? This humble Shidi was merely enjoying the festivities." Feigning the best innocent façade he could, he reveled as he watched Liu Qingge's lip curl back in a disgusted snarl.

This Liu-shixiong of his clearly didn't enjoy the innocent act Luo Binghe put on, surprisingly being smart enough to even see through it, and it only made him want to feign such innocence that much more. Batting his lashes, he only grinned wider when Liu Qingge shouted, "Aren't you too old to be acting so shamefully, Luo Binghe!?"

Feigning hurt, Luo Binghe put a hand over his heart, almost pretending to swoon if not for his own dignity. "Shameful? This one, truly? Liu-shixiong, you'll wound your poor Shidi if you berate him like this!"

Liu Qingge only growled at him, shouting, "You–!"

"Liu Qingge! Are you truly so heartless as to bully your Shidi so cruelly during such a lively and festive time? Couldn't this poor Shidi appeal to Liu-shixiong's humanity?"

Liu Qingge drew his sword, shouting, "Fight me, you ceramic-faced loon!"

Dropping the innocent façade, Luo Binghe drew his blade as well and grinned. "Gladly, you intolerable salt slug!"

"Oh gods..." One of the Bai Zhan Peak disciples murmured under his breath while another disciple from Qian Cao looked over at the spectacle with him. "Liu-shixiong and Luo-shidi are fighting again."

"My money's on Luo Binghe." Another Bai Zhan Peak disciple murmured while a few others laughed at her assumption.

"Hell no! Liu Qingge all the way!"

From afar, the disciples all placed their bets as Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe went back and forth until finally one of them tried to go for a dangerous angle. That is until a hand landed on both of their shoulders, and both Bai Zhan disciples were left to look up at Yue Qingyuan: who smiled down at them agreeably.

"Now, now, Liu-shidi, Luo-shidi, is there any need for a fight?"

Yes, there absolutely is! Both Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe thought in unison. Which happened to be clear on their faces as Yue Qingyuan sighed and smiled understandingly.

"I'm sure whatever has happened can be handled without the need for an altercation. This is the celebration of the new year, after all, should Shidi not enjoy it?"

Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge both glared at the Qiong Ding Head Disciple. Neither was truly willing to back down in this regard, but in the face of the future sect leader, neither was truly willing to put up that much of a fight. Sheathing their swords, they both glared at each other heatedly until they looked back at the Qiong Ding disciple.

Upon seeing that neither of his Shidi was willing to put up a fight with him, Yue Qingyuan removed his hands from their shoulders, nodding thankfully at the both of them until his attention was drawn away by the sound of approaching footsteps.

As the Qiong Ding Head Disciple, it was his duty to oversee the festivities and the Spring Festival. Required to greet those who came and make sure that nothing slipped from beneath his nose, it was a rather taxing duty that he had been equally excited for and dreading all at once.

He had already had to deal with at least five other situations similar to this before hearing the rather...creative insults thrown about between Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe and coming over to step in between the two. He was already growing tired of it all.

That is until he heard the telltale sound of a bamboo fan snapping open and the soft tapping of a bamboo staff against the ground.

"Xiao-Jiu! A-Yuan! There you are!" Abandoning his previous concerns, Yue Qingyuan turned to face the two who approached. As always, his Xiao-Jiu looked rather lovely in his festival attire, gentle greens, and warm red accents. Qing Jing was known for dressing up tastefully, and it seemed that his Xiao-Jiu's ways had spread to their Didi as well.

Ling Shou naturally wore plum and olive-green robes with black accents. Light and airy to allow free movement with very few accessories attached, focused more on comfortability and mobility rather than appearances. However, it is still simultaneously pleasing to the eye with intricate designs of embroidery on the hems of beasts and flora of all kinds stitched in silver or gold.

Now, his Didi wore the same color palette, only with a few more accessories, broader and brighter designs rather than just the simple yet tasteful designs of his normal attire, with a red ornament braided into his hair over his forehead like a crown. In his hand, he carried a bamboo staff that tapped against the ground when he walked. While his Didi had learned how to travel around Ling Shou easily without his sight, this was his first time in Qiong Ding, and everyone agreed that having some kind of aid would be for the best during such a busy and festive occasion.

His previous fatigue vanished effective immediately as he stepped forward, reaching out to take his Didi's hand while Shen Yuan readily leaned into him and Shen Qingqiu greeted him with only a curt nod and the simple dip of his fan. However, that calm expression immediately vanished the second he caught sight of Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe.

"Ah, this one didn't realize that Qingyuan also was required to invite the brutes." Snapping open his fan, he held it against his cheek, covering only half of his face with a vindictive smirk.

Yue Qingyuan laughed nervously, grabbing Shen Qingqiu's elbow as he muttered, "Qingqiu-shidi, let's enjoy the festival, yes? Let's show A-Yuan Qiong Ding for now and let him meet his Shixiong and Shijie."

However, Shen Qingqiu only glared when he saw both Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge attempting to sneak a glance past Yue Qingyuan at the young man attached to his hip. These little bastards...very well.

"Of course, there are two right in front of him, then." Snapping his fan closed, he tapped Shen Yuan on the shoulder as he pushed Yue Qingyuan aside, leaving the Qiong Ding Head Disciple to look between the four nervously. "Didi, do you remember the brutes who attacked you the first day you joined Ling Shou? Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe?"

Eye twitching, Luo Binghe glared heatedly at the Qing Jing Head Disciple while Liu Qingge scoffed and said, "It was an unfortunate situation where Shen Yuan was caught up without intention."

"I remember them, Gege..." Shen Yuan murmured, already feeling nervous, standing right in front of them without being able to see. He could feel them staring, yet he had no clue how they were reacting. "That time was an accident; I was fine afterward."

Shen Qingqiu scoffed at that, tapping his fan against his cheek as he said, "Didi can be too forgiving; if he lets these brutes get away with everything, they'll never behave themselves."

"You're one to speak so assuredly, Shen Qingqiu." Luo Binghe hissed through gritted teeth. Earning him the shocked and furious glower of the Qing Jing Peak Head Disciple. "Provoking fights where you would otherwise lose if not for those around you...Aren't you a little too self-assured?

"You little beast...do you wish to die?" Shen Qingqiu spat, grip tightening around his fan near the brink, it could possibly snap, and Shen Yuan quickly reached up to smooth his grip.

Scoffing, Liu Qingge only added fuel to the fire. "Is Shen-shixiong so surprised? He provokes a fight and expects others to take it lying down. What is the point then? Put your mouth where your sword is."

At this sudden beratement, Shen Yuan couldn't truthfully stay quiet any longer. He knew his brother to have a picky temper that could either be as cold as ice toward one person and as hot as an inferno to the next, but wasn't this going too far as to insult him like this? "Luo-shixiong and Liu-shixiong are being a bit too vindictive themselves. My Da-Shijie has told me that Bai Zhan has the reputation of attacking the other peaks without even a hint of provoking. Does that not leave its disciples under the same rule of law that a fight is served only when those who are strong enough to start it are willing? Why can't my Gege say these things if such fights have already been provoked before by others?"

Shen Yuan wasn't one to speak up so brashly, even on a whim, but he had been thinking quite a bit about how he would go about his meeting with Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe, knowing it to be inevitable. And there had been one particular subject that he couldn't get out of his head. Just how stubborn and hot-headed both young men were! Starting fights left and right! He had no choice but to prepare for such an outcome!

Of course, he hadn't expected it to be aimed at his brother so strongly, but he was not one to waste his time of planning, and so he said what was on his mind. However, having said all of this, Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge were both shocked by such a strong verbal argument thrown at them by Shen Yuan of all people, just as Shen Qingqiu was practically brimming over the edge with smug satisfaction and pride.

Unfortunately, Luo Binghe had never been one to be able to stand an argument being one-sided, so he added, "Isn't Shidi showing too much bias? What of his Shixiong? How is he to know that Shen Qingqiu hasn't been the first to provoke us?"

Shen Yuan huffed at such a tone; it sounded almost...mocking. It was rather spiteful, and it made a part of Shen Yuan flare up hotly with a demand for justice. "What bias am I showing? So far, nothing my Gege has said has been proven wrong. What else am I to believe? Why should I believe Liu-shixiong or Luo-shixiong over him?"

"He's a spiteful prick who enjoys urging people on into a stupor of rage only to walk away and leave them fuming as if he wasn't the one to start the fight in the first place." Liu Qingge added unhelpfully, only earning a glare from both Shen Yuan and Shen Qingqiu simultaneously.

Okay, he could admit that his Er-ge could do that sometimes, but so far, his Er-ge had gotten better with his temper! Now that he and Da-ge had talked things out and were even on the path to a slow, yet helpful recovery, there was a new hopeful light shining down upon them!

And Shen Yuan sure as hell did not need Liu Qingge or Luo Binghe pushing them both back a step by being petty!

"Liu-shixiong speaks as if he doesn't go around picking fights as well!" Okay, maybe he was letting out some bottled-up feelings as well, but that was unimportant! What was most important was that he kept the peace between his Da-ge and Er-ge! "At least my Gege doesn't go around swinging his sword at everyone! What are Liu-shixiong and Luo-shixiong doing, constantly fighting everyone? Isn't a fight better held with your words and not a sword?"

Shen Qingqiu laughed at that, open and honest, patting his Didi on the shoulder as he urged the boy behind him. Despite the young man's scowl and the threatening posture with which he held his staff. While he enjoyed watching his Didi rip apart these stupid Shidi of his, he didn't need either Liu Qingge or Luo Binghe getting any ideas.

"Now, now Didi," he crooned, smirking a little wider when he saw his A-Yuan huff and glare blindly in the general direction of both Bai Zhan disciples. "There's no need to bother yourself with these brutes; it'd just be wasting your breath trying to talk any amount of sense into their thick skulls."

Having just spoken his mind in regard to these Shixiong of his, Shen Yuan felt a little embarrassed and upset. He hadn't wanted to argue with them, nor had he wished to berate them, but there had been many things left unsaid in the past life, and those things had practically surged out of his heart and up his throat when given the opportunity.

Nodding, he readjusted his staff and copied his brother's feet placement. "Yes, Gege. It seems quite irritating..." He couldn't help but smirk when he heard Shen Qingqiu laugh again, it was a rare thing to hear his Er-ge laugh, and despite the context, he quite liked it.

"Qingyuan, we're going now, we'll be with Qi-shimei." With that, Shen Qingqiu took Shen Yuan by the arm and led him away from the other three, smirking all the while as he watched confusion and then irritation flash across the Bai Zhan disciples' faces.

Yue Qingyuan, having been a bit too shocked by his Didi's sudden burst of courage, only then found his voice and said, "Ah...Luo-shidi, Liu-shidi, don't take any of what they said to heart...A-Yuan truly isn't a spiteful person; he was likely copying Qingqiu-shidi." He gave them both only a quick nod before following after the two Shens, hoping he could get some answers out of his Didi for that sudden display.

Don't get him wrong, he was proud his Didi stood up for himself and Xiao-Jiu, but so suddenly? And toward Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe of all people first? It was confusing, for all he knew, his Didi had no previous relationship with either of them aside from that...less-than-pleasing first day when he had been caught up in their crossfire.

Perhaps his A-Yuan was still upset about that? It wouldn't seem to be the most likely reason, but perhaps it had left a few more bruises on his heart than Yue Qingyuan knew about.

No matter, he would get to the bottom of it!

However, both Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe were left shocked in place.

Neither truly knew how to react to having Shen Yuan speak to them like that. It had been a rare thing in itself back then just to hear the man speak, if at all, but now this Shidi of theirs was willing to pick a fight with them out of the blue? It seemed almost too unbelievable to continue thinking about it!

Both glanced at each other, confused expressions on their faces, until they scoffed at each other and turned away, walking in separate directions to the rest of the festival.

It was going to take them some time to get used to this new Shen Yuan.

He wasn't as they remembered him. However, was that such a bad thing after all? Even if it resulted in times like this? Bickering and fighting? Which was worse? The person they thought they knew back then, only to learn that nothing they thought to be true was real? Or the person that they didn't know now? The person they were unsure if they could even like?

However, had there ever been a soul with the name Shen Tianyan to truly know?

Or had it always been Shen Yuan?

And it was only them who never knew?

Chapter Text

"So, you fought with them?" Shang Qinghua asked as he ate a few melon seeds, his paperwork spread out across the desk on Shen Yuan's side of the room, a simple screen painted with flying birds and mountains being the only thing to separate the two sides.

His Xia-Shijie was out with a few of his other Shijie as well. They had gone down off the mountain to get something from the market, and he took the opportunity to invite Shang Qinghua over so they could talk.

"I wouldn't say I fought with them...just bickered a little." Shen Yuan murmured, lying on his bed as he thought about the Spring Festival. It was a little over a week ago, definitely long enough for him to overthink the entire interaction and internally scream and cringe at himself for everything he said.

He had just wanted to ignore them! Maybe be cordial when speaking with them out of necessity, but that was it! He didn't want to say all of that! He didn't even want them to really know who he was! But they sure as hell would now! He knew just how spiteful those two could be! Even the smallest slight against them could earn you their ire for a lifetime!

"You outwardly berated them and Bai Zhan and defended your brother in front of them, that's a fight." Shang Qinghua chuckled, laughing when he heard Shen Yuan groan like a pained animal, rolling about on his bed until his head hung over the side limply. "Well, see it this way, a good relationship has a few fights! If everything just went nice and smooth, things would be boring!"

He yelped when a pillow was expertly chucked at his head, and he tried to not think about how terrifying it was that this Shidi of his had such good aim blind. "I shouldn't even have a relationship with them!" Shen Yuan screeched, rolling over onto his stomach so he could press his cheek to the sheets beneath him. "I shouldn't even be talking to them! I should have just ignored them! Or maybe even begged Er-ge just to walk away! Heavens bear witness, I don't even like either of them! Why did I talk to them!?"

"Ha! Shen Qingqiu? Walk away from a bickering match between Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe? Not likely, my friend." Shang Qinghua laughed, shaking his head at the thought. If there was one thing that Shen Qingqiu was, it was prideful, and he would never walk away from even the silliest arguments if it meant protecting his dignity.

Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge were somewhat similar. Liu Qingge wasn't one for words; if he didn't care enough, he'd only glare at you and walk away silently, likely fuming on the inside, but he'd just take it out on some poor beast later. Luo Binghe, however, could be rather spiteful and would make it his personal mission to repay any slight against him tenfold.

So, putting those three in a room together would be the equivalent of setting up a fire next to a fireworks shop. It was bound to go wrong; it would be messy and dangerous, but at the very least, it would be an interesting show to watch.

Shang Qinghua was a little upset that he missed it now; he could only imagine the faces of both Bai Zhan disciples upon earning a tongue-lashing from Shen Yuan! Something that happened to so few and so rarely in the past life that Shang Qinghua had only seen it once himself!

However, upon seeing his friend's dejected expression, he quickly changed the subject to something they could equally rant over. "How is your system? Has it given you any new tasks?"

Shen Yuan shook his head, sitting up to rest on his knees. "No, it still says 'pending tasks' any time I ask...I'm almost scared to know what it's going to have me do."

Shang Qinghua hummed at that, tapping his chin with the end of his pen as he said, "I mean technically, 'Shen Shi' was a character I originally created to die as a young kid in the brothel as a martyr for Shen Qingqiu to give him that really heartbreaking backstory..." He coughed sheepishly when he saw Shen Yuan's glare, smiling nervously as he waved his hand dismissively. "So that's likely why you don't have any tasks yet! Your character was never truly that big in canon, so you have no plot points that you specifically need to reach. You were meant to be a means to an end, a martyr, the reason Shen Qingqiu became such a harsh villain!"

Shen Yuan grumbled at that, thinking it over until he said, "Then why did Er-ge still treat Luo Binghe so terribly in the past life? If I were to be his martyr, and I didn't die, why would he still become such a person?"

Shang Qinghua fell quiet at that. Truthfully, he had no clue. "I'm not sure. That's Shen Qingqiu's entire backstory. Sold and bought as a slave, the same person abused him and his baby brother until he burned down the Qiu Manor in a futile attempt to save you both, and then only to finally find you years later dead at the hands of the brothel master. Creating a cold and hardened villain that could only see the protagonist as a worthless replacement of you, angry because Luo Binghe lived and you didn't."

"That makes practically no sense!" Not to mention, it hurt worse to hear how it was exactly meant to torture his brother internally, morphing him into the cruel bastard that was Shen Qingqiu. "Why would he be angry at Luo Binghe if I were dead!? Luo Binghe was a decade younger than I! He would have been a toddler when I died!"

"That was the whole point!" Shang Qinghua defended himself. "It was meant to make almost no sense! Shen Qingqiu's logic wasn't meant to be reasonable, but heart-wrenchingly relatable! Yes, his despising Luo Binghe because he was jealous and because he was angry that he lived and you didn't is stupid logic, but people can relate to that more!"

"...What exactly do you mean?" Shen Yuan murmured, inching forward until he sat on the edge of his bed.

"Think about it, aren't there things you've done in the heat of the moment that became lasting decisions that you never took back? But in the end, looked back on it and thought it was all so ridiculous, but by that point, you felt it was too late to make amends and change?" Shang Qinghua grinned as he explained it all, finally given a chance to explain the creative genius that he wished he could have turned Proud Immortal Demon Way into if not for the despicable travesty that his rent was.

Shen Yuan paused at that, there were more than a few things he thought of in such a way, but he wasn't about to admit them aloud. "...Yes."

"Exactly!" Shang Qinghua cheered. "That's the whole point! It's stupid and painful! But it's also relatable! It's something every person does, and that's what makes it harder for them to hate Shen Qingqiu, because they can't help but think about whether they might do the same if they were put under those dire circumstances!"

"You really did think all of this out..." Shen Yuan murmured, surprised. He had read Proud Immortal Demon Way as a bored and chronically ill nineteen-year-old in his first life. Constantly criticizing it and berating it online for the trash it was. He hated the literal Omega slander in it, and that it was nothing but mindless papapa scenes again and again!

But now to think that such a dumpster fire could have truly become such a novel piece of literature? It was almost enough to get him angry again! He had literally died on an expired meat bun because of his hatred for the damn novel!

"Trust me, if rent had never been a thing, I would have authored this book exactly as I pleased. I even made different AUs for it to put in as extras once it was finished."

"Wait...different universes?" Shen Yuan questioned, hearing the affirmative hum of his friend as an idea suddenly dawned on him. "How many did you write down!?"

Shang Qinghua jumped at the sudden shout, looking over at his friend questioningly as he said, "A lot...Especially when it started becoming nothing more than fan service. I hated it, so I created different universes to do with as I pleased and create something good! I even posted a few on some of those fan fiction websites, but they weren't as popular as the original."

"Do you remember them explicitly?" Shen Yuan asked hopefully, and Shang Qinghua had to think for a moment to try and remember.

"I know I remember a few, but not as many. I can hardly even remember anything from Proud Immortal Demon Way, my memories of the first life are blurry at best."

"Do whatever you can to remember if you wrote a universe like the one we're in. Especially with one that has Luo Binghe as a disciple of Cang Qiong in the same generation as the upcoming peak lords!"

Realization suddenly dawned on him, and Shang Qinghua sprang up from his seat excitedly. "Cucumber bro! Holy shit! That's it! If we can figure out what all I wrote down for that universe—!"

"Then we can figure out just how this might all play out!" Shen Yuan finished for him, jumping off his bed as the two friends cheered at their new success.

"We might even get lucky! I know I wrote a few where Luo Binghe never destroyed Cang Qiong, and he actually lived a good life outside of Proud Immortal Demon Way's canon!" Shang Qinghua practically jumped up and down from his excitement; it felt like the pressure of the world had been lifted off his shoulders. "It might take me a while to remember what I wrote down, but I'm sure we can figure out at least the step-by-step plan I had for the plot!"

"Wait..." Shen Yuan suddenly stopped, freezing as he realized, "Does that mean you wrote a universe where Luo Binghe, Lui Qingge, and I were all soulmates!?"

Pausing, Shang Qinghua cleared his throat nervously as he answered, "Look...I got bored a lot, and I wanted to experiment. Besides, I'm fairly sure I only wrote that in my notes as a whump idea, I doubt I even wrote a rough draft for an AU like that."

He was about to shrug it off when Shen Yuan suddenly pulled his robes to the side, revealing the left side of his chest and the intricately designed mark there. Along with the various scars that littered his chest. "Wow, Cucumber bro...I understand if you admire me, but flashing me is a bit much, you know?"

Suddenly, an arsenal of pillows and other, harder objects came flying at him, and Shang Qinghua screeched as he had to duck out of the way and run for cover, dashing to the door while Shen Yuan kept his aim sharp and true.

"Get back here you hack author!" Shen Yuan shouted as he chased the young man down the hallways of Ling Shou's dormitories. Passing by his Shixiong and Shijie alike as they either shouted in surprise or jeered them on.

"Shidi! Shidi! Have mercy on your poor Shixiong!" Shang Qinghua cried when they came to a dead end, and he lit a candle in his heart for himself.

"What poor Shixiong? Get over here!"

"Help!"

After their scuffle, which resulted in a few of Ling Shou's older disciples stepping in and pulling Shang Qinghua and Shen Yuan apart, Shen Yuan and Shang Qinghua were left to their own devices outside.

It had gotten warmer out, there was still a cool chill in the air, but there was no longer any snow on the ground. The two sat in the grass in a comfortable silence, having since given up on squabbling with each other.

"How soon do you need me to figure out which AU we might be stuck in?" Shang Qinghua muttered, earning an accusatory sound from Shen Yuan. "I'm just trying to make sure that we aren't screwed!"

"...It doesn't matter, I suppose. Have any drastic changes to our world differ from canon that you've noticed that might help you figure it out?" Shen Yuan questioned as he tucked his knees to his chest, fiddling with the hems of his robes that reached his ankles.

His robes were always soft and airy. Yet he never got cold in them, Ci Liang had told him it was because Ling Shou sewed talismans into the inside of the hems and they naturally react to the weather outside. Either allowing enough fresh air to keep the body from overheating or preserving that body heat to keep the person warm.

"I haven't noticed much aside from Luo Binghe being here super early and you, but that's how it was back then, too. So that can't count."

Shen Yuan hummed understandingly, closing his eyes to block out midday's blurry colors and light.

Sometimes it hurt to still be able to see only colors. In the end, to identify people, he had to pray there wasn't another person around them wearing the same color, and he had to memorize their voice, their scent, and their mannerisms.

But at the very least, he could still see colors.

He always hated the dark.

"We're going to be okay?" Shang Qinghua murmured after the long silence. "We'll work it out in this life, won't we?"

"We have to." Shen Yuan answered, letting his hands fall into the grass and feeling the yang energy that coursed through the very ground. Maybe it wasn't a dreadful thing he couldn't see. "But we'll be okay."

"Xiao-Shidi!" Ci Liang called, her footsteps dull against the soft grass, yet each step sent a tremor through Shen Yuan's fingers. Huh, his sense of tangibility was never that good before. "Come now, we have a new lesson you need to learn."

Shen Yuan spun around to stand in front of her, extending his hand to help Shang Qinghua off the ground, the young man smiling sheepishly at the young woman, who only raised an incredulous brow at him. "Hello, Ci-shimei."

"Out."

"I'm leaving."

Shang Qinghua patted his shoulder quickly before scurrying off back to his peak. Shen Yuan chuckled softly at the interaction; his Da-Shijie could be rather particular with those she liked. "Shang-shixiong truly is nice, Shijie."

"Nice or not, he's more of a distraction to you than anything else." Ci Liang huffed, eyeing the path Shang Qinghua had practically run down to get back to An Ding.

He was going to the south; An Ding was to the North.

"He's a friend," Shen Yuan countered, chuckling when Ci Liang only grumbled at his argument. "Didn't Shijie tell me to make friends?"

"I meant to make friends in Ling Shou, which you have, but my point still stands." Ci Liang stated with a snap of her fingers, undoubtedly pointing at Shen Yuan accusingly.

"And what is Da-Shijie's point?" Shen Yuan teased, earning him a pinch to the cheek. "Ah! Shijie!"

"That Xiao-Shidi is getting too cheeky! Hasn't this Da-Shijie taught my Xiao-Shidi better? Come now, this Shijie has something new to teach you." She let go of his cheek, wrapping her arms around his shoulders to lead him.

"What does Shijie have to teach me?"

"Musical cultivation," Ci Liang answered. "Xiao-Shidi has likely heard his Shijie and Shixiong playing instruments or singing in Ling Shou. They are able to circulate their qi through their music to affect the flora and fauna around them. Xiao-Shidi is going to learn how to do it as well."

Spring to summer, summer to fall, and fall to winter, all again. Repeated until the cycles of the moon and sun had completed themselves and the year of the dragon began.

Flowers bloomed, they grew and wilted, sprouted, and died. Beasts bared their young to the spring, surviving through the summer to live to the fall, and everything had grown and changed with the winds of time.

A young man sat in the middle of a field, quiet and without a soul near him. Placed in the lotus position, he sang softly in key with the whistle of the passionflower vines, yang energy flowed throughout the earth unceasingly like the stream of a mighty river, telling him exactly when to open his eyes.

Foot sliding out from under him, he kicked himself off the ground, using his qinggong to bound off the trees around him, avoiding the talismans that were aimed directly at him. A single note was pitched only a little higher, and suddenly those very passionflower vines shot down from the trees.

Ensnaring the perpetrator, that young man landed squarely on the ground, gracefully holding his hands behind his back as he heard the laughter of that very perpetrator.

"Well done, Shidi!" Ci Liang stepped forward, one of those vines wrapped tightly around her arms, leaving her legs free. His only requirement was to make sure she couldn't throw any more talismans at him, and that none hit him in the process. "Very effective to use your qi to strengthen the vines. It would take some effort for me to break them." She demonstrated by flexing her arms, taking a moment of effort before the vines began to snap until they fell into a heap at her feet.

Shen Yuan smiled proudly; it had taken him some time to learn how to effectively control the flora around him with only his qi, especially for defensive matters. He still hadn't been allowed to have his own sword, and the few times he had trained with one, he learned that such a weapon truly was not suited for someone like him.

However, his Da-Shijie, ever the prepared, had already devised a plan for him to learn some defensive skills to protect himself and to strengthen his qi.

Cultivating with beasts and plants through the means of sharing qi through both touch and music had become his main source of practice. He had learned through both easy and troubling occurrences just how one was to safely thread their qi into the world around them like a needle into a regal tapestry without upsetting the balance of the already elegant picture.

Now, he was confident enough to say that his hard work had paid off.

"This one thanks, Da-Shijie for the lesson," he bowed at the waist, only to earn a prideful slap on the shoulder, Ci Liang laughing at his manners. "Shijie..."

"Who are you bowing to now? Still so polite even after you've become so close with this Shijie of yours? Yuan-shidi knows I adore training him, no need to thank me." Ci Liang wrapped her arm around his shoulders, leading him out of the forest and back to the dorms.

Shen Yuan had since grown, now reaching his Shijie's nose rather than just the underside of her chin, and he still had some more to grow. Ci Liang had complained that he would likely be taller than her if not exactly her height, which he calculated to be only ten centimeters shorter than his Er-ge and just exactly at his Da-ge's nose rather than his chest.

He would be a liar if he said he wasn't ready to finally be taller.

Sue him, he had been short all of his life, he could at least deal with being only some centimeters shorter than his Geges rather than a whole foot.

"This one is still grateful to Shijie," Shen Yuan murmured. It was true, everything that he had learned, the very ways he learned to navigate this world without his sight, was all thanks to his Shijie's influence and tutelage. "I have a lot to repay her for..."

"Repay me?" Ci Liang laughed again, ruffling Shen Yuan's hair gently as the boy whined. It had taken him so long to braid it this morning with his Xia-shijie... "Very well, if Yuan-shidi is adamant on repaying me, he can practice twice as hard...And let this Shijie do his hair."

Shen Yuan laughed at her request. Teasing as he said, "Shijie could have just asked to do this one's hair, I wouldn't have minded."

"Hmm, no," she giggled. "This is all the more fun."

When they entered the dorms, Shen Yuan could hear the chatter of his Shixiong and Shijie. It was a little harder to feel about the qi around him inside buildings, the different elements muddling the steady streams he was able to sense when he was outdoors, but he had learned how to thread through those blockages and at least be able to identify how many people were in a room all at once.

It had even become second nature at this point; he didn't even notice that his qi had branched out instinctively until he sensed the presence of at least four of his Shijie or Shixiong.

"Xiao-Shidi! Da-Shijie! Come over here! We were all just talking about this! It involves you two as well!" Xia Cheng called them over, a few of the others shouting in unison for their attention.

"What were you hens clucking about? What gossip do you have this time?" Ci Liang teased, earning a few jeers from her Shimei.

"Is everything alright, Xia-Shijie?" Shen Yuan asked, taking a seat next to his roommate while Xia Cheng laughed at his worrying, patting his cheek.

"No, no, nothing is wrong, Xiao-Shidi." Xia Cheng reassured, only to be interrupted by another person clearing their throat.

"Well, it could turn into a problem if it is not resolved." Song Rong piped up, earning a hiss or two from his Shimei. "Don't blame this Shixiong, Shimei! This one only speaks the truth!"

"Song Rong," Ci Liang cut in, everyone else falling silent. "Explain what the issue is."

"It's as Xia-shimei said, it's not a problem yet, but it is something that many of us have been thinking about since a few of our Shidi and Shimei went to Wan Jian Peak to retrieve their spiritual swords this year, and a few more will be ready for it this coming year."

"Explain," Ci Liang ordered again, knowing that her Shidi could venture far off-topic if given the chance.

Song Rong cleared his throat sheepishly, nervously looking over at Shen Yuan before averting his gaze, knowing that Shidi of his would be able to feel his gaze if he let it linger for too long. "This Shixiong and Shimei were only concerned about...Yuan-shidi's ability to choose his sword."

"The Hall of Swords is pitch black in itself; no one can see once they enter. He will find his sword the same way everyone else has." Ci Liang waved her hand dismissively. She personally despised it when another brought up her Shidi's disability as a means to explain their "concern," or otherwise as to why he would struggle where others prospered.

She knew he would struggle, he had struggled, but her Shidi had persevered through every leap and bound, he had struggled and won every fight. He earned his place not only in Ling Shou but also in Cang Qiong Mountain. She'd be damned by the heaven's themselves if she ever let someone break down that confidence she had watched him fight through every sleepless night and nightmare for. Even if it was by accident from one of her other Shidi.

Her tone was a warning in itself, allowing those around her to correct their mistakes and think clearly without the need for her truly stepping into the situation to take control. Song Rong especially felt the heat of her tone and hastily cleared his throat, thinking over what he had to say before actually saying it, "It's not the selection that we are worried about, Da-Shijie."

"Then what is it? Speak clearly, Song Rong."

"Yuan-shidi is skilled in long-range attacks, qi manipulation of flora, and the qi guidance of beasts are all well suited for long-range attacks and defense if used properly...but closer range...that is where we worry." Song Rong clarified, looking over at Shen Yuan quickly to be sure he hadn't said anything that could have offended his Shidi, only to find the young man with a thoughtful expression.

Ci Liang hummed at this. It was true that all of the skills she had personally ingrained into her Yuan-shidi's regiment were better suited for defense and long-range attacks rather than close range, but what did that have to do with him getting his sword in the coming year once he was sixteen? "What does that have to do with his sword retrieval ceremony next year?"

At the question, Xia Cheng quickly took over, speaking clearly as she said, "Most sword techniques are suited for close-range attacks, Da-Shijie. While this one and her Shixiong and Shimei do not doubt that Yuan-shidi would do well even in a close-range attack, it also worries us due to the fact that he would be unable to see if his opponent pulled any dishonest or cruel tricks to win...he would be at an unfair disadvantage."

"Also, with him learning to fly on his sword," another young woman spoke up, tone clear and stern as she said, "How safe would it be for him to fly on his own? Shen-shidi can sense others through the earth, he's an earth element in itself. For him to take himself out of that element entirely is practically asking him to truly navigate completely defenseless...It's concerning, Da-Shijie."

Ci Liang listened to their concerns, all of which were valid in themselves. It was true that in close-range attacks, her Shidi would be at a disadvantage without the means or time to put distance between himself and his opponent if it called for it. But wouldn't it be the same for long distances as well? He'd always technically be at a disadvantage, but didn't that mean it was best if he learned now how to overcome such adversities?

Before she could speak, Shen Yuan spoke louder. "Shixiong and Shimei are right, close-range attacks are not my specialty, and I would undoubtedly lose in any close-range fight I got into."

"That just means we need to ingrain it into your training; you can learn to fight close-range, it is only because you are without much practice." Ci Liang cut in, quick to silence any self-debilitating thoughts that were surging in her Shidi's mind.

"That's not exactly what we are saying, Xiao-Shidi." Song Rong cut in as well, standing and moving over to his Shidi as he took the young man's hand. "Your Shixiong and Shijie were merely thinking of different weapons we could teach you to use that could suit your skills without forcing you into any outrageously dangerous situations."

"That is where we have drawn a blank, however," Xia Cheng sighed, resting her head in her palms as she leaned against the side of the couch. "There aren't many weapons that we could think of that wouldn't require Xiao-Shidi to learn close-range. While we agree it is best he learns it, he should have a first-choice weapon that suits him and his natural skills, not the learned behavior out of necessity."

Ci Liang agreed with a hum, leaning forward on her thighs as she thought. Ling Shou didn't offer many weapon classes. Mainly sword and lance training. Few long-range weapons could take down the beasts that they handled, and it truly did require the use of a spiritual sword or lance. Which was why normally their disciples never left the peak on missions without having gone through their sword retrieval ceremony.

The group all brainstormed aloud, saying their ideas as others either agreed or disagreed, giving their opinions. That is, until Shen Yuan suddenly spoke up loud enough for all of them to hear. "What about a bow and arrow?"

"Archery?" Song Rong questioned. It was technically a long-range weapon. But was that truly the best idea? "How would Shidi...?"

"The same way I sense the plants and animals around me when Da-Shijie takes me out closer to the base of the mountain to handle the beasts down there." He smiled as he rolled up his sleeve, trailing his fingers down the spiritual veins of his arm as he spoke, "This one could search out for the energies of the target he is aiming for while simultaneously threading this one's qi through the arrow, and once it is drawn and released, the arrow would fly like a talisman to the target it has been set for."

The entire group was left speechless, astounded by such an idea. Could it truly work? However, such questions would be asked later as Song Rong broke the silence excitedly. "Xiao-Shidi! That's positively brilliant! It could work, and it would give Shidi the choice of staying long-range away from any dangerous situations if he were able!"

Ci Liang spoke up next, agreeing with her Shidi, "It could work, we would have to make the arrows ourselves to ensure the material could handle such qi being threaded within it as a sword would. But that is an uncomplicated process and one that could possibly be ingrained into our other weapons as well if the skill is taught properly. Xiao-Shidi's idea could become quite effective within weapons training as well."

A few of the other girls all cheered and clapped, thrilled that they had come to a solution. "Xiao-Shidi, it's such a good idea!"

Shen Yuan laughed nervously, he had spouted off his idea without thinking it over for longer than he had constructed it within his head, he hadn't actually expected it to be taken seriously!

"This one will speak with Xie Hong about constructing the arrows. For now, we will work on seeing which hand you should wield with. However, since you wield a practice sword with your left hand, and write with your right hand, we will assume to use a left-handed bow for now." Ci Liang stated as she stood from her seat, patting Shen Yuan on the shoulder as she left. "Song Rong, let's get it started immediately. Xiao-Shidi and a few others have to go to Bai Zhan within a few days for stricter basic weapons training. Regardless, we will want his bow to be ready by then."

Wait, go to Bai Zhan?! Da-Shijie, what do you mean!?

"Yes, Shijie." Song Rong nodded, taking Shen Yuan's hand, and leading him to stand to follow him.

"Wait, Bai Zhan? Shijie, why do we have to go to Bai Zhan?" Shen Yuan questioned, surely it could be avoided, couldn't it? Wasn't it for the best that he stuck with learning from his Song-shixiong and Da-Shijie? Why did he have to go to Bai Zhan?

"Shizun asked a favor of Wu-shibo, and he has agreed to allow inner peak training for the disciples of Ling Shou to help improve their swordsmanship and weapon skills." Ci Liang replied, patting Shen Yuan's cheek reassuringly. "Not to worry, Shidi. This one has already prepared Liu Qingge with the knowledge of your training, and he will be kind in helping you learn. He'll be good at teaching you how to wield a sword and your bow."

No! Shijie! That's worse! That's so much worse! Shen Yuan screeched internally. There was no way! Absolutely no way was he taking any sort of lessons from Liu Qingge! Somebody hang him first!

However, it seemed that he wasn't the only one particularly against the idea. "Ugh, Liu Qingge? Da-Shijie, are you sure that he will be the best fit for Xiao-Shidi?" Song Rong groaned, rolling his eyes at the thought. "He's a bit...arrogant, don't you think? Not exactly a nurturing or welcoming type either. What if I taught Shidi instead? It would be no trouble for me to learn how to use a bow with him."

Yes! Song-shixiong, you saint! Please! Yes! Da-Shijie, listen to Song-shixiong, please!

Ci Liang shook her head, saying, "There is no point in you learning a new weapon as well. It's best if Xiao-Shidi learns from someone adept at weapons and fighting. Liu Qingge might not be a first-choice option, but so far, he is the best option we have."

If he's not the first-choice option, then who is!? Da-Shijie, please! I will go with anyone else!

His discontent was visible on his face, wrinkled brows, and curled lips. Ci Liang reached out and smoothed out the wrinkle of his brow with her thumb. "It will be alright, Xiao-Shidi. The lessons won't be that often, perhaps only once or twice a week until you are well adept at your weapon and understand the basics of a sword."

I do understand the basics of a sword! I wasn't that bad at swordsmanship back then! It's just close-range combat that is the only issue! But why do I have to train with Liu Qingge and in Bai Zhan!? Da-Shijie, don't you know that I could die!? There's no doubt that Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe don't like me that much! Don't you remember our first meeting!?

Ci Liang laughed at his expression, patting his shoulder a final time as she left. Song Rong sighed heavily, just as disgruntled about this as his Shidi, but otherwise chose to ignore it. "Very well then, Xiao-Shidi, let's find your bow. We'll have to take your measurements to figure out what size you need."

Shen Yuan followed him reluctantly; there was no way in hell he was doing this willingly! Absolutely not! No way! No how! Not happening!

It happened sooner than his Da-Shijie had said.

Creating such arrows that could handle powerful spiritual or demonic energies truly wasn't as hard as it seemed—damn you Proud Immortal Demon Way and your stupidly convenient plot devices—and they were ready for him within a day or so. Song Rong had gotten him accustomed to his bow, teaching him how to hold his stance and how to release his arrows without having the bowstring snap back at his arm, leaving a harsh and purple bruise against his skin.

Now, a few of his Shixiong and Shimei had to go to Bai Zhan to train with them...

"Don't be too worried, Xiao-Shidi," Xia Cheng reassured him, a few of the other girls sticking close to the two as they talked. The walk across the rainbow bridge felt longer than normal, and he internally raged at the fact that this was his life. "I'm sure this will all be alright!"

He knew she was just trying to comfort him, but he couldn't feel comforted knowing that the person he would be training with was one of the two people that he had vowed to stay away from! Far, far away!

"Shijie...I don't like this." Shen Yuan complained, already expecting the arm that wrapped around him in a half-hug.

"Shidi, don't fear, your Shijie and Shixiong are here. None of the Bai Zhan disciples will bully you with us around!" Xia Cheng announced loudly, earning the attention of their peak siblings.

"Yeah!"

"Don't worry about it, Shidi!"

"And if they try to, then let us know, and we'll beat them up for you!"

Shen Yuan couldn't help but laugh at their declarations before sighing heavily, "But I have to train with Liu-shixiong...the Bai Zhan Peak Head Disciple..."

"Ugh, him? Really? Shidi, why would you train with that brute?"

"Isn't he mean? A few of our Shijie from Qing Jing have told me that he's a jerk and that he picks fights with Shen Qingqiu a lot too."

"And Yuan-shidi has to train with him...isn't that a conflict of interest? How is that safe!?"

"No kidding, he's a jerk! The lot of Bai Zhan are nothing but pricks! All they do is fight each other or the other peaks without even offering to help fix the damages!"

Shen Yuan listened as his Shixiong and Shijie berated Bai Zhan and its head disciple...he truly hadn't meant to start all of this! He was just annoyed that he had to train with Liu Qingge!

"When was the last time they tried to raid Ling Shou?"

"It was a few years ago, they stopped trying so often with us after a few of their disciples ended up falling into the Golden-Horned Tiger dens and barely escaped with their lives."

"Ling Shou will always remain on top against those Bai Zhan brutes! They couldn't navigate out of our forests even if they tried! We'd just have to lead them out into the woods and let them fend for themselves, and they'd be taken care of!"

"Ah...Isn't that a little mean, though? Our forests can be scary at night, wouldn't we have to help them eventually?"

"Nah, Shimei shouldn't worry about that. If they stepped into our borders uninvited, then it's their own fault!"

Xia Cheng laughed at the exchange, her Shidi and Shimei really were going after Bai Zhan now. There had always been inner-sect rivalries between the peaks. Especially between Qing Jing Peak and Bai Zhan Peak. Ling Shou had always been rather neutral, keeping to their own. However, that didn't mean its disciples didn't feel the same urge to one-up their sect siblings!

"Are they going to start a fight once we get there?" Shen Yuan asked while Xia Cheng hummed thoughtfully.

"No, no, don't worry, Shidi, I'm sure their just spouting off at the mouth. They don't mean any—."

"When we get there, we should just ambush them as compensation!"

"Yeah! Give them a taste of their own medicine!"

"Okay, they mean some harm." Xia Cheng laughed nervously, rushing forward with Shen Yuan's hand in hers as she tried to settle down her Shimei and Shidi. "Now, now! There's no need for all of that! We're welcomed as guests in Bai Zhan right now, there's no point in causing a scuffle over past wounds."

"Shijie! They started it! Why can't we return the favor?"

"Yeah! Remember how much trouble they caused the last time they tried to raid us? We couldn't calm down the Spider Ferrets for over a week afterward!"

"Yes, yes, I remember very well," Xia Cheng lulled, waving her hand dismissively. "However, we are not Bai Zhan. We are Ling Shou, and as such, we are to act with the same dignity and respect that our Shizun has taught us to respect our home. Besides, imagine how disappointed Da-Shijie and Song-shixiong would be in us if we caused trouble on the first day?'

At the mention of their Da-Shijie, Song-shixiong, and Shizun, the rest of the disciples all quieted down into grumbles, reluctantly agreeing with their Shijie. Shen Yuan sighed in relief when they had been calmed down, it truly was so impressive how his Shijie could control such a crowd so easily, talking them down from their rage and making them listen, it was something he admired greatly.

Once they got there, Shen Yuan could smell evergreens, and what smelled like...sword polish? Did they truly use so much of the stuff that the scent of metal and polish truly soaked into the very ground of Bai Zhan Peak?

He didn't...mind it, perse. It was no Ling Shou, it didn't have the same welcoming nature and soothing atmosphere and scent, but it wasn't bad. However, it did remind him of the scent before a battle. The scent of armor and weapons, he supposed it made sense, Bai Zhan Peak was pretty much the peak of constant battle.

"Shidi, Shimei, welcome." Someone new spoke up, greeting them. Internally, Shen Yuan felt relieved that it wasn't Liu Qingge himself. "Follow me to the training grounds."

He hadn't brought his bamboo staff, already carrying his quiver on his back and his bow in hand, so he held his Xia-Shijie's hand as they walked around. He followed her lead whenever she took a longer step, or when she tugged him gently out of the way of passing by disciples.

Disciples were running, training, and practicing all around them. It reminded him of a military base in preparation for an oncoming war. Strict and disciplined, it felt overly crowded around him.

"Look at this..." one of his Shixiong muttered, leaning closely to him and Xia Cheng to whisper in their ears. "They're set up like a military base...no wonder they have such behavioral problems, I'd lose my mind in a place like this."

Xia Cheng snickered, covering her mouth while Shen Yuan hummed in agreement. Qing Jing had been strict as well, heavy on the discipline of academics, but it was nothing like this. There were still some freedoms to be had there. But this? Shen Yuan already knew that he would never have survived here if he had ever joined Bai Zhan Peak.

When they stopped, Shen Yuan kicked the ground with his heel. The dirt was stiff, clearing having been purposefully packed down tightly enough to make sure there wasn't much friction. He could smell metal and steel, he heard the clashing of weapons, and he knew if he actually tried, he would feel the surging energies of the disciples around him training.

"You'll all be with one of our core disciples. They'll train you however necessary." With that, their guide left, and Shen Yuan listened as his Shixiong and Shijie grumbled, unimpressed by the lack of hospitality of Bai Zhan Peak.

It was nothing like Ling Shou.

"You there, separate now." Recognizing the voice, Shen Yuan instinctively clung to his Shijie. He...He really didn't think it was a promising idea now.

He heard his Shixiong and Shijie all walk away toward whoever would be training them; however, Xia Cheng stuck with him. She held his hand and cooed in his ear as she tried to reassure him before walking away herself.

"What's wrong?" That voice was next to them now, thankfully on his Shijie's side, but Shen Yuan still felt like it was too close.

"Give us a moment, Xiao-Shidi isn't used to anyone aside from us in Ling Shou. Bai Zhan could be overwhelming him." Xia Cheng snapped, glaring heatedly at the head disciple to make her point.

Liu Qingge hummed, trying to look past her at Shen Yuan; however, the young woman quickly used herself as a shield as she glared. From the sidelines, her peak siblings noticed, and still rather riled up from their walk here, they all shouted.

"Hey! What are you doing to our Shijie and Xiao-Shidi!?"

"Brute! Back up, why don't you!?"

"Don't bully our Shidi or Shijie!"

Liu Qingge looked over at the onlookers with a glare. Who were they to yell at him? Upon seeing their Shixiong grow upset, the other core disciples of Bai Zhan all started to grow agitated themselves.

He really didn't want a fight, so upon hearing the Bai Zhan disciples start to yell back at his Shixiong and Shijie, he quickly straightened himself and let go of his Shijie's hand. "I'm alright, Shijie...I was just overwhelmed by the new place is all."

Xia Cheng looked over at the budding fights, humming stiffly as she patted Shen Yuan's cheek reassuringly. "Yell for me if Xiao-Shidi needs anything." With that, she gave him one last pat on the shoulder before heading over to her Shidi and Shimei to calm them down before starting her own training.

They were left in an uncomfortable silence. Shen Yuan gripped his bow tightly; he could see the light blues and whites of Liu Qingge's robes. Blurry and distorted, it was only the colors he could see, and yet, he swore that when he set his gaze in front of him, he could see that ever-familiar scowl that made his brows wrinkle at that little beauty mark beneath his right eye twitch.

Even blind, Shen Yuan couldn't deny how pretty Liu Qingge was...how unfair.

"Follow me." Liu Qingge ordered quickly, turning on his heels just as swiftly as he practically sprinted away from the rest of the disciples. Shen Yuan withheld the urge to yell at him to slow down; he was new to Bai Zhan entirely. He had grown used to Qiong Ding's and Qing Jing's terrain, learning how to navigate the energies there and the clashing elements so he could find his way without the need for his bamboo staff or a guide.

But he didn't know Bai Zhan, and he sure as hell wasn't about to ask to hold Liu Qingge's hand!

Focusing again on his surroundings, he suddenly realized he couldn't hear Liu Qingge's footsteps. They had started walking on thick grass, and the field absorbed the sound before he could even hear it, and Liu Qingge wasn't walking hard enough to send out any vibrations or echoing sounds of his footsteps.

Shit...Just keep walking straight, he didn't say to turn anywhere, did he? I'll catch up to him.

He kept walking straight. Surely if Liu Qingge were too far ahead of him, the Bai Zhan disciple would have noticed and shouted at him to keep up or something. So, he just kept walking. He could smell evergreens around him, so they had walked into an unmarred part of the peak then? At least the surrounding scenery of trees would feel familiar to him.

I should have brought my staff. Shen Yuan hissed to himself as he tripped over another rock. Damn it...He never had this much trouble in Ling Shou or Qiong Ding, not even Qing Jing! Then again, he had always had a guide to help him until he was confident enough to traverse the peaks on his own.

Suddenly, he felt the ground give out from under him, and he shrieked when he suddenly fell. Using his bow, he wedged the sturdy wood between the walls of whatever trap he had fallen into; he couldn't feel the bottom of the trap beneath his feet, and, suspending himself with only his bow, left his heart pounding.

He knew this kind of trap, there were undoubtedly spikes at the bottom of this hole. If he were to not have caught himself...he'd undoubtedly be a kabob by now.

"Agh!" His hand ached from his grip, and he worried that his bow wouldn't hold out much longer. If he could just get some momentum without breaking his bow, he could kick off the side of the walls and climb out.

He just needed to—.

"Shen Yuan!" Suddenly, arms were wrapping around his torso and his bow was taken from his hand. His back was pressed against a sturdy and warm chest that rose and fell rapidly. He was panting. "Why did you keep walking!?"

Sudden rage overcame him, and he shoved himself out of the head disciple's grip as he yelled. "What do you mean, why did I keep walking!?" He grabbed his bow from Liu Qingge, carefully standing again as he made sure to back away from the death trap he nearly fell into. "I was following you!"

"You stopped following me over ten minutes ago!" Liu Qingge shouted, standing with him, and Shen Yuan could just feel their height difference...he needed to put stilts in his shoes.

"Then what were you doing continuing walking without me there!?" Shen Yuan countered. Yeah, that's right! Not so fun when your own argument is used against you now, is it!?

"I thought you were still behind me!" Liu Qingge shouted. "I only noticed you were gone when I didn't hear your footsteps anymore! Then I saw you fall into that death trap!"

"It's not my fault your peak is littered with traps!" Shen Yuan hissed.

"Why didn't you stop when you knew I wasn't in front of you!?"

"Why didn't you stop when you knew I wasn't behind you!?"

Stuck in a stalemate, both were too stubborn to let it go until Liu Qingge noticed what was missing from Shen Yuan's grasp. "Where is your staff?"

"I was already carrying my bow; it made no sense for me to bring both...I also thought I would be with my Shijie until we separated into pairs in the training fields." Shen Yuan answered reluctantly. Thinking about it now, he should have brought it. But how was he to know that he'd walk straight into a death trap!? What was the point of Liu Qingge insisting that they practice away from everyone else?

"You're blind—."

"Really?" Shen Yuan interrupted mockingly, raising a brow as he crossed his arms over his chest. "I hadn't noticed, I thought I just had wool in front of my eyes!"

"I meant...You should bring it with you." Liu Qingge bit out, frustrated and flustered. He didn't...He didn't know how to talk to this Shen Yuan. A Shen Yuan that wasn't and would never be Shen Tianyan. He didn't know those to whom he was talking, and it baffled him because...

They looked the same. They were the same in everything but personality.

They had the same eyes—no matter how cloudy Shen Yuan's seemed—they had the same voice—a voice he had only a few memories of ever actually hearing—they held their stance the same way, elegant and strong. They both...They both had such a thoughtful and gentle face whenever their guard was down.

Another thing he realized he had never seen but a few times in the past life, and something he was only seeing from the sidelines now.

He was talking to Shen Tianyan, this was Shen Tianyan. The real him...maybe? From what he remembered, Shen Tianyan had lied—he had no choice—all his life. He had lived in fear and pain away from everyone, and he had been alone. So, Shen Yuan was the real him, wasn't he?

"It wouldn't have made sense to bring both. I just hadn't expected to come here alone." Shen Yuan clarified, adjusting his bow over his shoulder next to his quiver.

A part of him wanted to say, you're not alone, you'd never be alone with me. Not again, I won't let that happen again this time. But he couldn't bring himself to speak, so he only nodded and turned on his heels, this time extending out his hand to the younger disciple.

"Let's go," Liu Qingge said, pushing his hand out just a little closer until Shen Yuan felt it brush against his arm.

Pursing his lips, he said stubbornly, "I don't need to hold your hand."

"I don't need you falling down another spiked pit." Liu Qingge scoffed, this time taking Shen Yuan's hand rather than offering his own.

The two walked in silence again, neither breaking it due to the awkward tension, until they finally reached the archery range, and Liu Qingge led Shen Yuan to his marker. "Stand here, your target is right in front of you, just try a practice shot so I can see what level you're on."

Shen Yuan huffed, grabbing his bow and pulling an arrow from his quiver. He adjusted his stance and slowly branched out his energy, feeling about until he sensed the dim yang energy of the straw dummy in front of him. "What are you doing?" Liu Qingge asked, only earning a quiet his from Shen Yuan.

"Silence." He sighed as he focused on the specific energy in front of him until he could feel it feeding in with his own. Gently, he pushed that focused energy into the wood of the arrow, through each splitter until it practically coursed through the tip.

He extended his arm and pulled back, setting a final course before he set loose the arrow. He heard the stone arrowhead pierce the straw dummy, and he rested his bow against his hip as he asked, "Where did I hit?"

Liu Qingge struck speechless, looked between Shen Yuan and the straw dummy for a moment before he settled on staring at Shen Yuan. "How did you aim it?"

"Where did I hit?" Shen Yuan asked again, and at the same time, Liu Qingge asked his question.

"You hit the chest, the solar plexus. It's a killing shot." Liu Qingge answered, stepping forward to inspect Shen Yuan's bow still in his hands. "How did you hit it?"

"I detect the yang energy of whatever I'm aiming at and thread it into my own just as you would a searching talisman."

Liu Qingge hummed at that, walking over to the dummy and pulling the arrow from its chest. "You still took too long. In a battle, you won't have the time to find your target energy like you did today; you need to learn how to aim and fire within ten seconds."

"Does Liu-shixiong understand how threading spiritual energy works?" Shen Yuan snapped. It was his first time! He hadn't even hit the target when Song Rong took him out with his bow for the first time! Couldn't Liu Qingge just be a little more encouraging?!

"No matter how it works, it's the truth, draw another arrow." Shen Yuan huffed as he drew another arrow, necking it and adjusting his stance until he jumped and tried to flinch away when a pair of hands grabbed his arms and readjusted him. "Hold still."

"What are you doing?"

Liu Qingge moved him again, this time kicking his feet until one face out and the other to his front. His hips facing forward and his chin resting over his left arm. "I'm helping." Liu Qingge snapped, nudging Shen Yuan again until his cheek touched the bowstring. "The key is repetition. Memorize the stance you're most comfortable and accurate with, memorize the feather that faces skyward when you neck the arrow, and stick to the same breathing patterns. Do it until it all becomes muscle memory and you do it unconsciously the second you grab your bow."

"I'm to do all of this and shoot the arrow in a span of ten seconds?" Shen Yuan mocked, earning him a hand against his elbow that raised it higher.

"Under ten seconds, preferably five or less. Always assume your target is faster than you." Liu Qingge clarified. "Fire."

Shen Yuan shot the arrow, hearing the arrowhead pierce through the straw dummy once again. "You hit the heart." Liu Qingge stated as he pushed Shen Yuan's arm down as he walked forward to retrieve the arrow. "Your arms will grow tired the longer you do this. Practice for twenty minutes in intervals for five hours a day. Under ten seconds, preferably five or less, keep the same stance until it becomes muscle memory. Until you have all of that down, you'll come to me."

Just my luck...Liu Qingge, I distinctly remember you being far less cruel than this! Was that only because I didn't bother you at all back then!? Trust me, it wasn't my idea to come here! Don't hate me for something that's not my fault!

"In those intervals, however, between the twenty minutes you practice your archery, we will practice swordsmanship." He heard the telltale sound of iron sliding against metal, wood, and leather. "What sword do you use?"

Liu Qingge, you can't be serious right now!

Reluctantly, Shen Yuan muttered, "...A longsword."

An unfamiliar hilt was pushed into his hands, and Shen Yuan could feel his brow twitching irritably. Liu Qingge, for your sake, be thankful I can't see!

"Show me what you can do first."

"I'm not good with close-range attacks." Shen Yuan murmured. He was out of practice, and the sword in his hands was an unfamiliar weight that he didn't know what to do with.

"Either this or archery."

"Stand in front of the target." Shen Yuan hissed, earning a shocked grunt from the head disciple. "The problem is I don't have a live target, living things have stronger energies to focus on. So, stand in front of the dummy."

Silence held out for a moment, and Shen Yuan huffed resolutely as he held the heavy sword against his hip, his bow across his shoulders. Take that, Liu Qingge!

"...Set your bow down, we'll practice sword forms."

Damned by the heavens and damned by the spirits.

"Are the disciples ready for the mission?" Liu Qingge questioned as he checked his qiankun pouch a final time to make sure he had everything necessary. The beasts they were hunting were no ordinary creatures, said to have the power to take down an army on their own, and they were only in a small group of three or more.

"Yes, Shixiong." The Shidi that answered him was quick to shout something behind him, ordering about the others that Liu Qingge didn't care to talk to. He didn't mind his peak siblings, but they were too loud sometimes. It aggravated him.

"List the names."

"Pan Baihu, Dai Fang, Fan Guiying, Hai Juan, and Luo Binghe."

Halting suddenly, the disciple walked directly into Liu Qingge's back, yelping when he caught the frosty glare of the head disciple. "Luo Binghe? Why is he coming along?"

Stuttering, he was only able to properly say, "Shixiong—. Luo Binghe was the only other person with the...the...the martial skills to handle this assignment."

Huffing, Liu Qingge deliberated over it for a moment.

For the past two years, Luo Binghe had been nothing but a thorn in his side. He had to constantly watch the brat to make sure he didn't try to run back to the Demon Realm and plot some scheme to take down Cang Qiong Mountain just as he had before.

It was taxing and unbearably annoying.

Luo Binghe was likewise an audacious young man who seemed to enjoy testing Liu Qingge's resolve. Picking fights with him and constantly being the stone stuck in his boot. It also didn't help that they were the same height now, and Luo Binghe had started to broaden out in size. He had never seen the vertical advantage of his opponents before, all he saw was another body he would bring down, some larger than others.

But now, with that damned brat having grown, he loved to point it out by straightening his back and looking over Liu Qingge's head whenever the opportunity presented itself, sometimes even going as far as to puff out his chest in front of him whenever they sparred.

Just wait, you little brat, I'll be taller than you are again soon. Even then, I don't need such an advantage to bring you down!

Mark his words, even if this was technically Luo Binghe's first mission, he might just kill him on it and be done with it all.

It wasn't like Shen Yuan, of all people, would notice that much either. Hell, it seemed that Shidi of his had a particular bitterness toward him and Luo Binghe.

Not that he could say it went unreciprocated.

At first, he blamed Shen Qingqiu's influence, and then it became apparent that Shen Yuan...truly just had extraordinarily little interest in him or that little beast aside from spouting off at them whenever the opportunity came.

Especially during joint peak training lessons. Luo Binghe had worked his way into the ranking of core disciples and had started working with all of them. Liu Qingge and Shen Yuan in particular. That is, if you could call being a pestering little beast 'productive training,' and it always brought out a side of Shen Yuan that he still was growing to understand. The younger disciple always scolded them for something he could recognize as something Shen Qingqiu had likely told him or something at that very moment.

It was six parts infuriating and four parts...relieving.

In all truth, he much preferred to be at the sharp tip of Shen Yuan's ire than at the blunt end of his silence. In the past life, there had been few times Shen Tianyan and he had ever interacted, once or twice on a mission, and all other times had been during brief moments of passing that were nothing more than blips of memories in the sea of time through which he had lived.

Life carried on as it always did, not waiting on anyone to be prepared for anything that it threw in their way. Especially him. His readjusting to being a disciple again, reliving things he remembered, and going through new things that he had never experienced before in the past life sometimes left him restless at night.

It was an adjustment. But Liu Qingge was nothing if not adaptable.

He sighed heavily. There was no point in trying to change it now; preparations had already been made, and it didn't seem safe to leave that beast on the peak without Liu Qingge there. "Very well, make sure everything is ready for when Qian Cao and Ling Shou arrive."

"Yes, Shixiong!"

Bai Zhan traveled light, only bringing the necessities, and sometimes even less. So, he only carried a qiankun pouch to hold what he needed. Their horses were already saddled and reigned, he watched as the rest of his Shidi and Shimei came down the mountain on their borrowed swords. The lot of them would have to go through the sword retrieval ceremony soon.

When he made sure that they all had mounted their horses, he did the same. Qian Cao would only be a group of four people, Mu Qingfang and three others, and Ling Shou would be even fewer. Three people at most, possibly even just two if they didn't feel like sending out any more than the minimum. Ling Shou was rather reclusive, so he wouldn't put it past them.

"Liu-shixiong has such a sour expression. Did he eat a lemon?" Luo Binghe's aggravating voice grated against his ears, and Liu Qingge had to withhold himself to keep Chen Luan within its scabbard.

"Luo Binghe, get in line. Or go eat a dead bird."

Luo Binghe scoffed at his rebuttal but otherwise didn't try to pester any further as he kept his steed in line with Liu Qingge's. After a moment, he huffed and said, "Couldn't we just lead ahead of them? They know where we are headed, don't they?"

"We have to travel as a group, reports have said these beasts are cunning. They would take advantage of us splitting up." Liu Qingge barked, leveling Luo Binghe's bored glare with a chiding one of his own.

"Then we kill them before they have the chance." Luo Binghe countered. "There's no need for all of this dead weight."

Reluctantly, Liu Qingge had to admit that he agreed. He was never one for traveling in such a large group as this. A small procession of five or fewer of himself and four other Bai Zhan disciples should have been more than enough to deal with all of this. But the peak lords had decided that this situation was deemed dire enough to require not only the warriors but also the beast experts and the medics.

Without even saying a thing, Luo Binghe could already see the reluctant agreement on his Shixiong's face and smugly took the win for what it was.

Mu Qingfang and his Shidi and Shimei were the next to arrive, calm in demeanor with only a polite smile and wave to Liu Qingge: who only reciprocated the silent greeting with a nod.

Now, they just had to wait for—.

A shrill yell and shrieks descended from the trees; ululating as heavy hooves hit the ground with the intensity of beating drums. From the tree line, a stallion and two mares emerged. The first, their leader, was a man perhaps only a year or so older than the Bai Zhan Peak Head Disciple, with deep brown hair and amber eyes, he had a rugged sort of handsomeness to him with a dark stubble growing on his chin.

Behind him, a woman of lithe stature reined her horse to his side. Her complexion was that of warm honey and her eyes of sparkling pools of water. Rich chestnut hair flowed in the wind, held back in a bun as the rest spilled over her shoulders.

And finally, the last to emerge on the monstrous stallion was the youngest amongst them all. Ink-like hair was held back in a weak ponytail that only tied around the end, the rest of his hair near his temples was tied back in two braids and connected behind his head. Clouded eyes that of warm jade gazed over everything without focus, and a pale hand reached out to hold the muzzle of that great beast, who whinnied and shrieked as he came to a halt.

It was almost a haunting-like beauty. Something that one perhaps could imagine, but never dare to reach out and touch. A forest nymph in a failed disguise that of which did nothing to hide his true nature behind a gentle face and a lithe but elegant stature.

"Liu Qingge!" Song Rong called out to him, raising his arm as he led his horse to stand next to Liu Qingge's. "Has the rest of our part already prepared themselves?"

Liu Qingge eyed his Shidi and Shimei, then Mu Qingfang and his Shidi and Shimei, before looking back at Ling Shou's disciples. Doing his best to not linger on one specifically. "We're ready."

"Then let us set out!" Song Rong announced, whistling sharply as the three horses Ling Shou brought all shrieked in unison before trotting ahead, Xiao Yingzi at the head.

"I think Yingzi is cross with us!" Xia Cheng laughed, watching with a twinkle in her eye as Shen Yuan soothed his beast.

"He's upset that we didn't go on a run this morning." He explained calmly, in a gentle voice, in the presence of his peak siblings, that few others experienced.

"Then let him run now! We're all ready." Song Rong laughed, and Shen Yuan smiled at the invitation.

Before anyone else could question their conversation or Song Rong's invitation to his Shidi, Xiao Yingzi reared up on his hind legs, braying loudly before his front hooves hit the earth with an echoing drum, and he sped off faster than the eye could catch.

"What in the hell!?" Luo Binghe shouted at his side, and a few of the other horses startled by the sudden charge.

Song Rong laughed as he nudged his mare into a gallop. "I suggest you all keep up! Xiao Yingzi is quite territorial of Yuan-shidi; he won't like him being around so many new people, and he'll be extra encouraged to outpace us today!" With that, Song Rong and Xia Cheng took off. Hollering and shrieking the same way they had when they stampeded off the mountain.

However, the rest of the procession could only gape in bafflement. But there was one thing that Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe both thought in unison.

The damned horse!?

Chapter Text

The city of Heshun was a bustling and lively place.

Xiao Yingzi huffed agitatedly as their party traversed through the crowds, passing by hagglers and merchants who shouted at them with an entitled air about them that left Shen Yuan cringing. Or calling out to them to entice them over to their shops.

What’s with all of these markets always being so busy, huh? Would it kill people to just enjoy a calm day inside with their families, or perhaps even just spend time outside with a picnic?

Xiao Yingzi could sense his discomfort, snorting and throwing his head back as he dug at the ground, attempting to entice his rider to steer them out of the bustle so they could run off. Shen Yuan laughed at his attempts, leaning down until his chest was flat against Xiao Yingzi’s mane as he said, “Yingzi, don’t entice me too much, I won’t refuse for too long. Besides, we promised Song-shixiong that we would do our best here.” Xiao Yingzi huffed at him but otherwise didn’t raise a fuss.

Song Rong and Xia Cheng were a bit further back. Shen Yuan could hear their voices behind him, tuning in on them as he blocked out the other noises around him. He wasn’t too sure if they had lost the rest of the procession a while back when Song Rong had first given him the approval to let Xiao Yingzi run ahead, but he didn’t care all that much.

They knew where they were to go; it wasn’t his fault if they wanted to keep a full day’s trip that long rather than speeding it up a little.

Stopping in the market of Heshun had been his Shixiong’s idea. He said they had to speak to the locals to see if there was any information on the beasts, and if anyone had seen anything before they made the rest of the trip to the manor of the city governor, who had commissioned them.

Wouldn’t it be more efficient to check the forests? Surely there should be evidence there. Shen Yuan sighed as he waited for his Shijie and Shixiong. He wouldn’t interfere with them; they knew better than he, and he knew that he was just being anti-social. It was for the good of the mission; he could handle waiting off to the side to stay out of their way.

He was about to steer Xiao Yingzi over to the side when a shout suddenly came out from behind him, and the beast squealed from shock and reared back on its hind legs. Unprepared for the sudden reaction, Shen Yuan shrieked as he was thrown off the back of his horse, falling onto the ground with a heavy thump. His shoulder ached from where he landed, and he was suddenly being grabbed around his arms, two different people hoisting him off the ground.

Xiao Yingzi only brayed louder at this, stomping his feet as he tried to charge at one of the men, only to struggle when another grabbed his reins and tried to wrangle him down. “Leave him be!” Shen Yuan shouted, pushing off the people who had grabbed him as he tried to calm his steed.

Only, he was pulled back again when another arm wrapped around his torso and hauled him back. Who were these people!? Why the fuck were they touching him so causally!? “Boy! Don’t you know to stay back from a beast like that when he’s agitated!?”

“He’s not a beast! Let me go!” Shen Yuan shouted, kicking his feet until he felt a sturdy kick to the man’s shins. He jumped away from anyone around him that he could sense and reached out until he could wrap his arms around Xiao Yingzi’s neck, snatching back the reins only a moment later. “Calm down, Yingzi. Easy, easy, it’s alright.”

Xiao Yingzi squealed softly, huffing and puffing until his stomping stopped and he rested his head against Shen Yuan’s back, almost reciprocating the young man’s hug. “What a beast! Boy, how much do you want for such a monster? He’d be a good workhorse!”

“Yingzi isn’t for—.”

“Exactly what I was thinking! He’s no good for riding, how much do you want?”

“An aggressive thing like that shouldn’t sell for too much. Why don’t I just bring back one of my horses and trade you for him?”

“Xiao Yingzi is not for sale!” Shen Yuan screeched. What the hell was wrong with these people!? Who were they to tell him how compatible his horse was with him!? “Stay away from us!”

One of the men scoffed at him, stepping forward with whatever hair-brained intentions such an entitled man could possess, until Xiao Yingzi roared at him, squealing high and loud as his hoof dug into the dirt aggressively, a final warning to those around them. “See that! How are you to handle him!?” The audacious man questioned, pointing at Shen Yuan specifically, until he faltered when he saw the young man’s eyes.

None in the group had noticed just who this rider was. All they knew was that he was a part of the group of cultivators in town, and thought that since he was alone, he would be the easiest to go after to find a good bargain and trade with. These merchants always found the most money whenever cultivators came into the city. Still, this cultivator not only was fairly young and undoubtedly pretty, but seemingly an unmated Omega as well.

Many of them were rouge and cosmetic vendors, with full intentions to try and take this young man for all he was worth with their half-assed products, and the others only noticed that he was a horse rider and a cultivator without taking a moment to search for anything else. But now that they saw he was blind and alone? Who were they to pass up on such a silver-plated opportunity?

“Boy! You don’t need such a big horse. What will happen to you riding by yourself? My brother sells spirit dogs! Come with me and we’ll find you one that you can use!”

“Bah! What use does a cultivator from Cang Qiong have for a spirit dog? He just needs a smarter horse! This one is denser than a bag of rocks! I sell some of the best horses in the city, come on now!”

“All of you are thinking of the wrong thing! He doesn’t need a spirit dog or a horse! He needs a fine husband to take care of him! My sister is the matchmaker in this city. Come with me and she’ll find you the right kind of Alpha to take care of you!”

What the hell is wrong with these people!? Shen Yuan thought furiously, growling as he suddenly swung himself back onto the saddle, taking the reins and pulling back until Xiao Yingzi reared up again and brayed long and loud until the men all backed away.

“I’ve said it once, so I will say it only once more, leave us alone!” Shen Yuan shouted, steering Xiao Yingzi through the crowd. What was all their nonsense about!? A spirit dog, a different horse, a fucking husband!? Who were these men to try and boss him around like that!?

Damn you all! What manners you have! Somebody call your mothers to pinch and pull your ears off, my Geges would have a fit if they could hear the set of mouths you all have! Pah, disgusting!

Unfortunately, such people were never easy to get rid of, and the second they found something worth their attention, they would hang on like leeches. So, those audacious vendors followed after Shen Yuan even when the young man practically started galloping through the street to get out of the bustle of the market. However, people were still a factor, and Xiao Yingzi was constantly stopped by an elderly person crossing the street, excited children running out in front of him to stare at him, and by other vendors and patrons.

Shen Yuan was about to say damn it all and just make a run for the woods, however, when he heard the haggling of those vendors, he only growled. “Yingzi, go ahead and step on them if they come too close again…” Shen Yuan muttered, and Xiao Yingzi snorted assuredly, ruffing up the ground again as if to entice those vendors closer so he could kick them all.

However, before a single one could draw closer, Shen Yuan heard the soft clop of hooves against the ground as another horse drew in front of him and Xiao Yingzi, its rider taller than him, as the silhouette of this person left him in the shadows of midday. He was about to smile and thank this person until he heard the voice that chided the vendors. “Now, don’t you think you’re all being quite rude to my Shidi?” Oh, damn it. He’d rather deal with the hecklers.

“Ah, young Daozhang, we were just—.”

Luo Binghe grinned at them devilishly, cruel and vengeful as he ordered. “Scram you fucking vultures.”

A few of the vendors dared to stick around for a moment longer, that is however until they saw the hazardous glare of this young man. Dark eyes of the starry night sky seemed to almost flash a spiteful crimson and those already deadly fangs seemed to sparkle in the light of day—promising a brutal end to those whomever dared to stick out their jugular for those daggers to sink into.

Quickly, the entitled men scrambled, leaving Luo Binghe to scoff and smirk. He hated people like that, entitled and rude to whoever, just in the hope of making some quick money. Only to be cowards in the face of someone they knew they would lose against. He and the rest of the procession had made it to Heshun sometime after Ling Shou, finding two of its disciples interrogating some of the patrons of the market.

Luo Binghe, however, couldn’t give a damn less about that. It wasn’t hard to find Shen Yuan in the crowd, the young man was atop the largest horse in the entire market that looked just as mean as his rider was demure. He had been content to stick close behind him for the time being, searching over the crowd silently when he saw those vendors spook the beast that threw Shen Yuan off his back.

At first, he stuck closer to the back, waiting to see how it would all play out, and when he saw Shen Yuan climb back on his beast, he figured that it was nothing more than idiots who had unintentionally spooked the creature.

That is, until he picked up on what they were yelling at Shen Yuan as the young man rode away.

The most notable among their suggestion was, “Young gongzi truly would benefit from a well-rounded husband!”

He had kicked his horse into galloping forward at that, circling so he could trot in front of those vultures and stand between them and Shen Yuan. Husband? Shen Yuan? Ha! What a fucking joke! That prickly Shidi of his would scare off any person who so much as dared to even start a conversation!

When he was well and sure that they were gone, Luo Binghe turned over his shoulder to look at Shen Yuan, only to find the young man glaring at him. “I didn’t need your help.” With that, the Ling Shou disciple clicked his tongue, and the beast he rode upon snickered and gladly trotted away.

“What a way to say thank you, Shidi!” Luo Binghe rode up alongside him, grinning devilishly as Shen Yuan glared forward, not rewarding the Bai Zhan disciple’s taunting with a response. “How cruel to ignore your Shixiong after he helped you.”

“Who needed your help?” Shen Yuan hissed, snapping the reins as Xiao Yingzi sped up a little. “I had it under control!”

“That didn’t look like having it under control to this Shixiong.” Luo Binghe lulled teasingly. It was even easier to get Shen Yuan flustered and worked up than it was Liu Qingge, and he found that watching as this Shidi of his slowly lost his composure and turned to shout at him was rather entertaining. “Perhaps those vendors had a point. Would Shidi be better off with a good husband to help him out?”

At that, Shen Yuan tugged Xiao Yingzi to a stop, glaring heartfully in Luo Binghe’s direction as he shouted, “Luo Binghe! You–! You shameless heathen! Go jump down a well!”

At that, Luo Binghe laughed, throwing his head back as he chuckled, “What’s wrong, Shen-shidi? This Shixiong only asked a question!”

Shen Yuan snarled at him before turning his head away and saying, “Very well, then Luo-shixiong can know that I would already have a husband picked out.” With that, he encouraged Xiao Yingzi forward, and the beast happily sped up, almost galloping through the less densely packed part of the market.

Luo Binghe, however, could practically hear the glass shattering within his mind. He spurred his horse forward and hastily rode up beside Shen Yuan, shouting, “Who!?” Shen Yuan scoffed at him, turning his nose up at the Bai Zhan Peak disciple, and Luo Binghe growled as he blocked Xiao Yingzi’s path, earning an agitated whinny from the beast.

Shen Yuan huffed at him, leaning down to soothe Xiao Yingzi by petting his snout, “What does it matter to Luo-shixiong?”

Luo Binghe only scoffed at the redirected question, “This one is just curious to hear who would be daring enough to face such a bitter situation as marrying Shen-shidi.”

Shen Yuan scoffed at him, trying to steer Xiao Yingzi around Luo Binghe’s steed, but the Bai Zhan disciple only encouraged his horse to block them continuously. Shouting, Shen Yuan finally said, “Ugh! Fine! If Luo-shixiong has to be so nosy, then he can know well enough that if I must marry someone, then I would marry Xiao Yingzi.” He huffed resolutely and finally steered the horse out of Luo Binghe’s path and continued through the market.

Luo Binghe, however, could only stare in mild astonishment and shocking annoyance. The damned horse!?

Why the hell did he suddenly taste vinegar!?

Riding up to his side again, Luo Binghe shouted, “You would marry that damned beast!?”

“The only beast this Shidi knows of is Luo-shixiong.” Shen Yuan bit back, raising his nose haughtily while Luo Binghe chuckled humorlessly at the quip.

“What of that creature's temper? Would Shid truly be able to handle such an aggressive nature?”

“Doesn’t this Shidi put up with Luo-shixiong?” Shen Yuan countered, leaning forward to rest his chest against Xiao Yingzi’s mane as he scratched the horse’s neck, saying, “It’s not Xiao Yingzi’s fault that everyone around him is unable to see how sweet and understanding he is. Everyone always calls him a beast and yells at him. Wouldn’t anyone become aggressive after being treated so harshly? Of course, I would be able to handle him.”

Xiao Yingzi brayed happily, throwing his head back as a show of affection and asking for more scratches. To which Shen Yuan giggled and happily gave the beast the affection he craved, henceforth ignoring his Shixiong, who still rode at his side. Luo Binghe balked at the sight of Shen Yuan showing such affection to a horse, at the same time meeting said horse’s gaze as the creature seemed to…fucking smirk at him!? Was a fucking horse smirking at him!? What the hell was with that smug expression!? How could a horse look so fucking smug!?

Shen Yuan cooed sweetly, leaning back to smooth out Xiao Yingzi’s mane before urging him to go faster, to which the beast snickered and threw his head back a final time before trotting smugly past the Bai Zhan disciple, all the while Luo Binghe could think of only one thing. This damned smug fucking beast!

However, before Luo Binghe could catch up to continue to pester his Shidi, another light brown mare galloped past him, coming up beside Shen Yuan as the man atop the horse smiled and said, “Yuan-shidi, there you are! Were you exploring the market?”

Shen Yuan’s sour mood immediately brightened, smiling as he said, “This Shidi was trying to steer Yingzi out of the crowd, we were getting a little overwhelmed.”

“Ah! I see,” Song Rong sighed, shaking his head. “Forgive your Shixiong and Shijie, we forgot that this was Xiao-Shidi’s first time. It’s to be expected that he would be a little overwhelmed. These markets are always so much different in comparison to Ling Shou.” The man smiled as he reached forward. Xiao Yingzi was not even startled or concerned as he watched the man reach over him to Shen Yuan and patted the young man’s cheek reassuringly.

“Shixiong is not kidding…ha,” Shen Yuan sighed, shaking off the encounter he had as he said, “These vendors are just as bad…one even asked me if I wanted a husband.”

At that, Song Rong reeled back in shock, scoffing and shaking his head as he said, “What an idea! How audacious of them to ask! Who would Xiao-Shidi even marry out here? Mercy of the heavens…did you give them an answer?”

Shen Yuan laughed as he said, “I said I would marry Xiao Yingzi first!”

Song Rong threw his head back with laughter, loud and boisterous as he threw his arm around Shen Yuan’s shoulders and pulled the young man to lean closer to him. “What an even better idea!” He laughed a little more before asking, “Isn’t there anyone Shidi would have in mind? Even as a last resort other than Xiao Yingzi? Surely someone has caught his attention by now, he is of age to be involved in such relationships, there is no shame or folly in exploring what you are comfortable with.”

Shen Yuan flushed embarrassedly, coughing as he waved his hand dismissively. “N-No! This Shidi…doesn’t have anyone in mind…” The poor young man couldn’t even face his Shixiong, having to turn his face down as his cheeks and ears burned a bright red against his pale skin.

However, having been forgotten behind them, Luo Binghe could only sneer. Perhaps his Shidi did have someone in mind after all…

Song Rong nodded understandingly, knowing of his Shidi’s thin face, he knew such conversations normally left him flustered and embarrassed, so he didn’t press on. When he saw Luo Binghe behind them, however, he quickly waved the young man over. “Luo-shixiong! This one didn’t see you before, come over here! We’re all about to leave for the governor's estate soon!”

Luo Binghe only smiled tightly, flashing his most docile smile as he said, “This one should regroup with his peak siblings; if not, Liu Qingge will give this one an earful.” He made a point of rolling his eyes, both exaggerated and entirely genuine. That damned Liu Qingge, he remembered his Da-Shixiong from the past life; Ming Fan, but even he wasn’t as bad as him.

Song Rong nodded understandingly, chuckling as he said, “Go on then, don’t let Liu Qingge get upset with you!” With that, Luo Binghe turned and left, and Shen Yuan huffed agitatedly, Xiao Yingzi snorting alongside him. Song Rong saw the reactions and raised an incredulous brow. “Surely Yuan-shidi and Luo-shixiong aren’t still bickering with each other?”

“It’s not my fault they're brutes who only speak with their brawn and not their brains!” Shen Yuan defended himself, not yet realizing he had used ‘their’ instead of a singular ‘him,’ giving Song Rong enough idea of what was going on.

As expected, Song Rong laughed at him. “Yuan-shidi! Come now, it’s been two years, hasn’t it? You’re still bickering with them? You’re the same way even with Liu Qingge when he helps you with your sword practice!”

Shen Yuan had long since grown accustomed to his bow that he no longer needed a tutor for the weapon, however, sword practice was something he still struggled a bit with. He understood the basics and had mediocre skills at best with the blade. Such a weapon was much harder to wield with his constitution and without his sight.

Not to mention Liu Qingge absolutely refused to give him the go-ahead to practice on his own or with one of his Shixiong or Shijie in Ling Shou! Always saying the same thing, “What’s the point in sending you off when you’re not ready?”

Who's not ready!? Definitely not him! He’s ready as hell! He lived three lives now! While only two of those he actually wielded a sword, he knew enough to get himself off the ground! He just needed that damned Liu-shixiong of his to stop being so stubborn!

It also did not help whenever Luo Binghe joined that mix.

The little devil genuinely chose to rile him up! Always picking on him when he was sparring with Liu Qingge or even offering to spar with him himself! And every time, he made Shen Yuan mess up, and Liu Qingge always told him, “You need to learn how to work around distractions.”

What shit! How was he supposed to work around a distraction that would literally speak directly into his ear?! Also, what hypocrisy! The second Luo Binghe turned his attention to Liu Qingge, the head disciple was immediately shouting at him, the two challenging each other until Shen Yuan had to sprint off to the side to avoid getting caught up in the crossfire of their dueling.

“I would prefer to practice with Song-shixiong…” Shen Yuan grumbled. He was sick of this! Why did he have to deal with those two? “...Not those two brutes.”

“Xiao-Shidi!” Song Rong shook his head exasperatedly, laughing as he said, “You’re starting to sound like Shen Qingqiu!”

“Good!” Shen Yuan huffed. “My Er-ge has a point!”

“Does he now?” Song Rong lulled. He had no grievances against Shen Qingqiu or Yue Qingyuan, for that matter, but he did know for certain that they did allow a bit of an unhealthy idolization of themselves from Shen Yuan.

It wasn’t that he blamed his Xiao-Shidi! Not at all! Just the opposite, really! He understood that with the life his Shidi had lived, having people to look up to, to inspire oneself to become, was for the best. It gave him drive and focus, and he would never think of that as a bad thing.

However, he knew for certain that there were times those Shixiong of his utilized his Shidi’s admiration for their own purposes. Shen Qingqiu especially. Again, it wasn’t something so serious as to raise any alarm, or something he knew they used for nefarious means—more like parents playing their trump card honestly—but Song Rong also knew for certain that when it came down to it, those two brothers would undoubtedly pull out any card they could to get their Didi on their side.

Shen Yuan nodded assuredly, completely sure of what he was saying. How could Song Rong burst his bubble? To this little Shidi of his, his big brothers were heroes and entirely pure and noble men, who would he be if he told him otherwise?

A dead man! That’s who!

Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu would skin him themselves!

“Ah, very well, whatever Shidi says.” Song Rong shrugged, whistling for Shen Yuan to follow him as they circled around until they caught up with Xia Cheng. “Shimei! We’re heading to the estate now! Did you find anything?”

Xia Cheng huffed and puffed as she steered her mare to walk in tune with Song Rong’s mare and Xiao Yingzi, complaining heartfully as she said, “Those vendors! I swear the sexism is surreal!”

Shen Yuan sighed sympathetically, murmuring, “Shijie faced it as well?”

“Xiao-Shidi! They got to you too!?” Xia Cheng cried out in horror, her face going pale, while Song Rong faltered, his heart dropping into his stomach as he leaned over and whispered in Xia Cheng’s ear.

“Shimei, what happened!?”

Xia Cheng grumbled under her breath as she said, “Those vendors! Disgusting! Pah! Trying to convince me to meet up with some matchmaker, a few even tried to offer up their sons themselves!”

Shen Yuan hummed understandingly, sharing his own story, “They asked me to trade Xiao Yingzi for either a spirit dog or one of their horses, and then they asked me if I wanted a husband.”

Xia Cheng sighed disappointedly and leaned over to grab Shen Yuan’s hand apologetically. “This Shijie is so sorry, Xiao-Shidi. He should never have had to experience that. Those people are just disgusting! Pay them no mind whatsoever! They are not worthy of your time!”

Song Rong scoffed, snorting as he grumbled, “These people…this town is strange. All of them claimed that they hadn’t seen a thing of beasts or any sort of monsters. No matter what I asked, it was all the same answer of ‘I don’t know! I don’t know!’” Song Rong mocked the tone of the patrons and vendors he spoke to, far less polite now that he heard from both his Shimei and his Shidi that this place was just full of audacious and entitled pricks.

“They didn’t do the same thing when Luo Binghe showed up…Song-shixiong, did they act that way with you at all when you spoke with them?” Shen Yuan questioned as Song Rong shook his head with a grunt.

“No, they just repeated themselves over and over again when I asked about the beasts and then tried to sell me knock-off baubles and trinkets…However, they did mention some matchmaker, but it wasn’t in direct context with me.”

“It doesn’t matter!” Xia Cheng huffed, raising her chin to the air as she declared. “They are not worth our care or effort. If they wish to be so rude, they can handle their problems on their own!”

“Shijie…” Shen Yuan sighed, petting Xiao Yingzi’s side when the horse began trotting forward, tired of standing still so long.

“Now, now, Shimei,” Song Rong cut in, waving his hand dismissively as the three trekked on once he saw the rest of the procession behind them, having finally caught up. “There is no need to wish damnation. These people may be…crude and tactless, but it is no reason for us to wish ill will upon them. Ling Shou, the peak of second chances, remember?”

Xia Cheng shouted in frustration, crossing her arms over her chest as she pouted, “They are not of Ling Shou! What second chances should I give them?”

“But we have been given second chances,” Shen Yuan cut in with a gentle tone, hoping to help his Shixiong calm down his Shijie. It was normally Song Rong who got worked up over these things, and Xia Cheng was always the one to help calm him down as well. It was strange for it to be the other way around. “Shouldn’t we offer the same courtesy?”

“I am not as gracious as Xiao-Shidi,” Xia Cheng huffed, leaning forward against her steed as the mare huffed at her attitude. “However…I will concede that Shidi has a point. Very well, I will be benevolent just this once!”

Song Rong laughed at her, shaking his head as he scratched his chin, the growing stubble making his face itch. “Thank you, Shimei.”

“This one thanks Shijie.”

In a better mood, Xia Cheng and Song Rong kept the air around them filled with idle conversation. Shen Yuan spent his time listening to them and sharpening the arrowheads in his quiver, tightening the bowstring, and polishing the wood. There was natural wear and tear from his bow’s use, but Shen Yuan saw no reason as to why he should not continue to take good care of it. He kept himself busy that way, the soothing and rhythmic motions of proper care to his weapons, including the rope cutter knife he kept strapped inside his boot that his Da-ge had gifted him before he left.

His brothers had been a little worried that he would be going on his first mission without them, but he had reassured them, and his Da-Shijie had helped. By the end of it all, with Ci Liang damn near threatening his brothers to let him go, his Da-ge and Er-ge had relented and wished him well on his travels. Not before his Da-ge had stopped him on his way out with his Da-Shijie and handed him the sheath with the knife latched safely inside.

Saying only this, “A-Yuan should stay safe out there. This Da-ge will rush out there immediately if Didi needs him; he only needs to send for him through a calling spell. But until I can get there, this dagger can help keep A-Yuan safe.”

Shen Yuan hugged his brother, reassuring him a final time before receiving and reciprocating the kiss his brother left on his temple, saying their final farewells before Shen Yuan rushed off to catch up with his Da-Shijie.

He spent a bit of extra time sharpening and polishing the blade, despite it having only been used once prematurely when Shen Yuan needed to shorten one of the straps of Xiao Yingzi’s saddle so it wouldn’t bother his companion. He would take especially good care of it! It was such a fine gift from his Da-ge after all, he had even asked his Xia-shijie to describe it to him.

It was a curved steel blade with a red-tinted oak handle. The sheath was designed with his peak’s colors, plum purple with olive green accents. It was simple yet incredibly effective, nothing more and nothing less than what he would need.

Song Rong made a low whistle when they approached, Shen Yuan quickly reattached the blade to the inside of his boot as he steered Xiao Yingzi behind Song Rong and next to his Shijie. He heard the sound of hooves clopping against the ground behind them, two sets coming up behind them and around, and he knew it was likely Liu Qingge and Mu Qingfang, seeing as the three were all the figureheads for their respective peaks at the moment.

The trot into the estate was slow and deliberate. He could hear servants gasping, some murmuring at the sight of them, and Shen Yuan couldn’t help but instinctively lean Xiao Yingzi closer to his Shijie. He did not like the feeling of all those eyes on him…nothing about them felt natural.

Xia Cheng reached out and held his hand, rubbing circles into the skin of his hand as she hummed reassuringly. He forced down the feeling, ignoring the gooseflesh that had risen across his entire body, and sat up straight. Hoping that his expression didn’t betray him, as he had come to learn in the past two years, it normally did.

He thought he had a better poker face than that, but his Shijie routinely reminded him that whenever he tried to utilize it, his emotions only became that much clearer, at least to them…and his brothers.

When they finally entered the inner courtyard, the horses were shown to the guest stables, which a few servants introduced to them, even offering to take their horses for them. “Daozhang, may I?” A man asked him, undoubtedly another servant just trying to do his job, but Xiao Yingzi already huffed and puffed the second the man drew too close, apparently still upset from the incident in the market.

“No, thank you,” Shen Yuan waved him away, soothing Xiao Yingzi by scratching behind his ears. “My companion is rather…skittish when it comes to new people. He would cause you trouble.”

“Of course, Daozhang, allow this one to lead you there then.” Shen Yuan nodded to the offer, he wouldn’t be stubborn toward this man, he knew all too well how annoying it was to deal with guests who always tried to argue with you when you were just doing your job.

“Shidi!” Song Rong called to him, and he and the others were already entering the main hall to greet the governor. “Come inside once Xiao Yingzi is settled, take care of the moment.”

Shen Yuan nodded again; however, he deliberately slowed his pace as he walked at Xiao Yingzi’s side. Take care of the moment, his Shixiong had taught him many hidden messages within his words, how to speak to his Shijie and Shixiong without revealing the subject of conversation to outsiders. One of those being ‘Take care of the moment,’ his Shixiong wanted him to scour around the inner courtyards himself.

There were some benefits to being blind that he and his peak siblings had figured out. For one, every one of his other senses was heightened to a degree even surpassing those with already heightened senses due to their advanced cultivation. One sense he especially cultivated was his sense of touch. For even through the thick leather of his boots, he could feel the earth beneath his feet, and as such, could scour the area around him for the energies there.

He walked slowly, allowing every step of his to reverberate against the ground, sending out and receiving the traces of energy around him almost like echolocation. Most of the energy around him was weak, likely because none of the people here were cultivators or even beings born with strong yang energy. However, there was something that suddenly surged to him with violent retribution and caused him to stumble, only caught by Xiao Yingzi’s reins and the horse rearing his head back with a startled whinny.

“Daozhang! Are you alright?” The servant stopped abruptly, turning to help him, but Shen Yuan only waved him off with a nervous smile.

“Don’t mind me, please. I just stumbled, it’s just harder to navigate by myself in new places, please forgive me.” Shen Yuan reassured sheepishly, only earning a worried sound from the servant in turn.

“Forgive, Daozhang? It is this servant who was walking too fast, allow this humble one to help.” The servant walked a little closer, and with each step, Shen Yuan suddenly found something that he hadn’t noticed before.

A chip of that violent energy, only the barest amount, hardly even recognizable, was pulsing within the weak mortal yang energy of the servant. That energy he felt earlier…violent and resentful, pulsing yin energy that he could only recognize as one thing, demonic energy.

Never once had they been informed that the beasts they were hunting were even remotely demonic, not to mention, most demonic beasts never traveled this far south into the Human Realm.

“Excuse me, sir?” Shen Yuan smiled, walking again so he wouldn’t raise any suspicion. “Could this humble Daozhang ask you a question or two?”

“Of course! There is no need for Daozhang to ask!” The servant replied cheerily. “How can this humble servant help?”

“The beasts that the governor wrote to us about, could you describe them to me? Have you seen them?”

“Who hasn’t seen them!” The servant laughed nervously, sighing as he said, “They’re ginormous, taller than at least two grown men! No doubt ten feet–no! Fifteen feet tall! Their teeth are sharper than razors, each fang about as big as a grown man’s hand! Their hides look like leather, black and shiny; however, no one is brave enough to actually try to touch one. Anyone who has entered those woods when they attack never comes back alive. There seem to be a few at a time, a pack perhaps. They howl like banshees at night, and they trample anything in their path! They have horns like a bull, but a tail like a wolf, big and fluffy!”

For people who never get so close to these creatures, they sure can describe them perfectly. Shen Yuan already had a suspicion as to what it could be, but he wouldn’t make a definite assumption until he got back to his Shixiong. But there was one thing he knew for certain: the beasts he was thinking of were not demonic in the slightest.

So that violent surge of demonic energy he felt was coming from something entirely different.

When they reached the stables, Shen Yuan cooed to Xiao Yingzi to soothe him. “That horse sure is attached to you, Daozhang. Have you soul-bonded with him or something?” Brazen and straightforward, the servant hardly even remembered he was talking to the disciple of the most powerful sect in the entire Jianghu.

“Soul bonded?” Shen Yuan murmured, stepping away from the gates so the servant could lead him back to the main hall.

“Of course! My brother’s wife’s cousin told me all about it! It’s when a powerful cultivator’s soul bonds with an animal with just as equal spiritual energy! Allowing them to work practically in sync!”

“My Da-Shijie taught me about it…” Shen Yuan murmured, thinking to himself as he considered the idea. It wouldn’t be improbable to imagine. Seeing as in this life I already had my golden core when I first connected with Xiao Yingzi, and he is a powerful horse…perhaps we actually did! Stars shining in his cloudy eyes, Shen Yuan couldn’t help but shout aloud, “That’s so cool!”

The servant chuckled at him, finding such innocent astonishment and joy quite adorable. “Ah, you remind me of my little one at home!” This man was rather straightforward, so if he saw someone who was rather cute, especially if they reminded him of his own child, he was going to say something!

Shen Yuan immediately flushed, the tips of his ears burning as he tried to regain his serious aura, but it was rather pointless now. The servant chuckled but said nothing else, not feeling inclined to embarrass this young man any more than he already had.

“Sir… have there been any other incidents other than these beasts lately? Perhaps some strange people coming into town?” Shen Yuan questioned, earning a hum from the man.

“Other than our governor moving into the city, there has been nothing.”

“Your governor just moved here?” Shen Yuan snagged onto the information, pulling and tugging with the hope he could learn more.

This servant was rather chatty; he enjoyed talking, so when this young Daozhang was so willing to speak with him and even asked him to speak more, he was more than willing to open his mouth and talk his ear off. “Our old governor, a kind old woman, and her wife passed in their sleep some months ago. A real tragedy, honestly. They were very kind and rather social with everyone, always welcoming and compassionate to even the poorest of beggars. Though in comparison to how people have been dying now, there couldn’t have been a more worthy departure for such kind people.”

“So, this new governor came after them? Was he related to them at all?” Shen Yuan asked, purposefully walking slower until they were practically just shuffling their feet, not even raising their heels off the ground.

“No, no. Our old governor had no children; she had picked a person she wanted to take the position once she passed, but that young man had disappeared one night. Most of us think he couldn’t handle her death and ran away. That’s when our governor Guai took over, can’t say I remember where he came from, but he took the position fairly easily, so I guess it had been one of those council decisions that we common folk weren’t included in.”

Shen Yuan hummed at that, asking, “Have you noticed anything strange about him?”

“Strange?” The servant scratched his chin, straightening his mustache beneath his nose as he said, “He is a rather quiet fellow. Doesn’t speak to us much like our past governor, and the guests he invites over can be a little peculiar as well. But that’s just the man’s personality; there isn't anything wrong with him. He’s not abusive like I’ve heard some leaders in power can be.”

Shen Yuan nodded at that. He wouldn’t discredit what he had sensed, and what he could still vaguely feel practically thrumming through the ground, but if someone who was close enough to the governor and the demonic energy that it left a mark on his very being said that the governor was just a normal anti-social aristocrat, then he couldn’t exactly discredit the testimony of an eye witness.

“Thank you for answering my questions.” Shen Yuan bowed his head respectfully, earning the huff and puff of the man: who warmily patted his shoulder.

“Ah, what need is there for ‘thanks yous’ and all that? This humble servant was happy to help Daozhang. Besides, if he and the rest of his sect can get rid of these beasts, then I will surely sleep easier at night knowing my wife and son won’t have to fear fetching water late at night.”

Shen Yuan couldn’t help but smile at the warm familiarity this man held. He was used to a warm arm around his shoulders and the bright and lively laughter of his Shijie and Shixiong. He had grown accustomed to rarely ever being left on his own, always having at least one person talking to him or initiating some kind of physical contact, so this man’s fatherly and welcoming nature was incredibly appreciated. It reminded him greatly of his Da-ge.

They started walking again, the man’s hand still on his shoulder as he started up a different conversation. “Tell me, young Daozhang, how are your parents with you being a cultivator? My son has shown some promise for it, and I don’t want to hold him back at all, but I can’t help but worry.”

Shen Yuan nodded understandingly. He was no parent, but he had a vague recollection of his little sister from his first life, and while he couldn’t remember her face or name, he remembered distinctly the love he had for her, and just how thrilled he had been to have someone to take care of instead of the other way around. Honestly, if he were in a parent's situation to send their child into a cultivation sect, he too would practically die of nervousness. He knew firsthand how dangerous it was, so who in their right mind would want their child to enter such a dangerous profession?

Then again, in this world and in this life, there were very few choices that people had to choose from that didn’t require some danger to it. At least by joining a powerful cultivation sect, they had a chance to make a name for themselves and become strong enough to protect themselves from almost anything.

As long as they weren’t cannon fodder.

“I don’t have any parents, but I do have my big brothers, they’re a part of the sect as well, and they—.”

“Ah, jeez!” The man hissed through his teeth, slapping a hand over his eyes as he apologized. “Don’t answer me! Don’t answer me! Ah, it’s what my wife always says, I speak before thinking! Forgive me, Daozhang!”

Shen Yuan chuckled fondly. This man really did remind him of his Da-ge. “Don’t apologize, I never knew my parents. My brothers raised me off the street, and I joined Cang Qiong Mountain Sect only a few years after them. I hold no bitterness toward any parents I might have had, I’m rather lucky…I have my brothers, and they love and care for me much more than I deserve at times…”

“Such a humble young man…To say you don’t deserve it. Heavens know the saints and the sinners truly. Your brothers are undoubtedly very proud of you. Take it from a father, I can sense it. Every child deserves parents, though the same can’t be said for parents regarding a child. I can say with entire certainty that if I’m lucky enough that my son will grow to be as kind as Daozhang, I will be blessed by luck.” The fatherly tone the servant took on warmed a part of Shen Yuan’s chest that he hadn’t realized had become cold, and he couldn’t help but brighten from such sincere words.

He bowed quickly to the man, smiling as he straightened his back and said, “I can only hope I make them proud, sir. However, I can say that I know I make them nervous at times…my Er-ge worries the most, my Da-ge does his best to encourage me, but I know that they worry. Though I suppose they are just as happy that I am there instead of somewhere else, however, I can’t say I can speak on behalf of any other person, seeing as they’re a part of the sect with me.”

Sighing, the servant nodded before freezing when he realized that the young man couldn’t see his reaction, so he hummed affirmatively. “Of course, of course. A blessing and a curse, no doubt. I know I would worry…But I suppose I can’t help but hope he can join a promising sect one day, every parent dreams that their child does better for themselves than what their parents did. I’d miss him terribly, but there are worse fates…”

“How old is your son, sir?”

“Ah, that sweet little boy will be turning three in the coming months! Proud as I am, I can’t help but miss how small he used to be! You’ll understand one day if you have kids, you love it when they grow, but it breaks your heart all the same! I’m sure your brothers would understand what I mean.”

Shen Yuan couldn’t help but pause at that. Would his brothers understand that? He knew that they had raised him from practically the minute he was born until they were separated by the Qius and Chen Qiang, but did they…did they feel the same way other parents would when it came to him?

The servant was about to say another thing when suddenly the doors to the inner hall burst open and the disciples of Bai Zhan came running out, passing them without a second glance. “Gah! What a stampede!” The man shouted, so flabbergasted at having nearly been trampled by such amor-clad youths; that he had instinctively jumped in front of Shen Yuan and stuck out his arms to protect him even though he knew that even this lithe young man could likely throw him over his shoulder just as he could a sack of rice.

“They’re all brutes…” Shen Yuan murmured disgruntled, stepping out from behind the man and placing a hand on his shoulder to make sure he hadn’t actually taken a blow for him. “Are you alright, sir?”

“Ah ha! Don’t mind me! I’m not that old just yet! Though I have to say the differences between the different peaks of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect are rather clear!”

Shen Yuan nodded when he was sure that the man was alright. He wanted to ask another question regarding the things happening around here, but was suddenly called over by his Shixiong. “Yuan-shidi!”

“Ah, you go ahead and help your Shixiong. Many thanks for indulging this humble Yang Haoyu, don’t let me keep you from your duties. But if Daozhang needs anything else, please let me know!”

Shen Yuan bowed again in thanks, chuckling when he heard the disgruntled grunt of the senior, the man gentling trying to stop him like an embarrassed father who was being praised by his child. “This humble Shen Yuan thanks sir for indulging his questions and offering his help, I hope to one day meet your son in Cang Qiong Mountain Sect.”

The servant laughed, patting his shoulder with finality before letting Shen Yuan run off to his Shixiong and Shijie. “Song-shixiong, I figured some things out.”

“Shh,” Song Rong silenced him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder as he leaned down to whisper in Shen Yuan’s ear. “Be careful with what you say. We are heading out to the woods to look for tracks and other clues about what these beasts are. Tell us when we get out there.”

Shen Yuan nodded quickly, shutting his mouth as he followed his Shixiong's lead. He made quick work of asking what the other disciples were doing while he and his Shijie and Shixiong all looked for clues, and his Xia-shijie told him, “Qian Cao is going to check on the residents of the estate to check for any injuries and Bai Zhan is going where the beasts were last spotted to hunt them down.”

Only when he heard the sound of boots hitting the grass and he could feel the brush of leaves against his shoulder, did he finally say something, “I sensed demonic energy earlier,” Song Rong and Xia Cheng snapped their heads to him, surprised and captivated. “It was so strong that it even left a resounding effect on one of the servants, and if I had the chance to meet any others, I’m sure it would be the same.”

Song Rong grunted stiffly, saying, “That governor they have…He’s a quiet man, I can’t imagine it would have anything to do with him. Does Shidi believe that it could be the beasts that are terrorizing them?”

Shen Yuan shook his head. “Yang Haoyu, one of the servants here, described the beasts to me clearly. Fifteen feet tall, teeth sharper than razors, each fang about as big as a grown man’s hand, the tail of a wolf, and the horns of a bull. Hides that look like leather, black and shiny. They seem to travel in a pack. They howl like banshees at night, and they trample anything in their path.”

“An Emerald Tongued Wolf-Bison?” Xia Cheng questioned, earning a nod from Shen Yuan.

“That’s what I believe it to be.”

“Those beasts aren't demonic…” Song Rong murmured, scratching his stubble. “They hail from the far north-east, they never travel so far from the plains to the southern rivers.”

“Could they have been brought here? They are sometimes hunted for their tongues and horns. Perhaps they were brought here by poachers and escaped.” Xia Cheng added in, searching the ground for clues while Shen Yuan listened closely as he walked ahead.

“I don’t know who could be brave enough to try and catch them to transport them alive.”

Shen Yuan ran his hand along the trees he passed by until the side of his foot dipped slightly and he leaned down to feel about the ground, only to find tracks the size of a dinner plate.

“Shixiong!” Shen Yuan called out, waiting until he felt Song Rong’s hand on his shoulder, and the older man leaned on him as he knelt. “I found the tracks…”

Song Rong looked them over; they were indeed the tracks of an Emerald Tongued Wolf-Bison, and there were even more traveling further into the forest. “This makes no sense…why would they be out here? And they only travel in packs during the summer, not the fall.”

“That’s not the only thing that is wrong here,” Shen Yuan murmured, reaching over his shoulder to grab the man’s hand and press it into the pawprints next to his. Song Rong felt about the dirt, it was still warm, which meant that the beasts weren’t too far off, but there was something…more to it.

“Xiao-Shidi, what do you sense?”

Xia Cheng stepped closer, looming over Shen Yuan’s shoulder as the boy pursed his lips. “Demonic energy…” He raised his hand, holding a handful of the dirt from the tracks as a glow slowly began to emit from his palm until it seemed to die out like a flickering flame, the dirt in his hand steaming a black and putrid smoke. “There is demonic energy here.”

Song Rong and Xia Cheng both froze. These beasts, if they even really were what they thought, were not demonic in the slightest. So it meant…

“Someone has set up a trap.”

Shen Yuan nodded, but just as Song Rong grabbed his arm to hoist him away from the tracks, a bellow rang out from the forest, and the three all froze when they heard the stampede approaching.

“They’re coming this way!” Xia Cheng shouted, clutching onto Shen Yuan’s shoulder while Song Rong quickly jumped in front of them.

Shen Yuan faltered for a moment until he knelt again and pressed his hand into the ground. “The demonic energy is coming this way as well! It has to be them!”

Song Rong hissed through his teeth, looking over his shoulder at this Shidi of his with a conflicted expression before hoisting the boy up again and shoving him away, shouting, “Shen Yuan, run!”

Chapter Text

"Shixiong!" Shen Yuan shouted, having been shoved away, he could still feel the beasts approaching, but his Shixiong had pushed him away to leave so quickly, he wasn't sure what to focus on.

"Yuan-shidi," Song Rong spoke clearly, tone calm and easy. "You're right, these beasts are not demonic, but if you sense demonic energy with them, then that means they are being controlled by something demonic. Run back to the estate and call for Bai Zhan to prepare for a fight. It seems that whoever started this knows that we caught onto them now."

Shen Yuan hesitated, instinctively reaching behind him for his bow, but Xia Cheng quickly stopped him. "Xiao-Shidi, these beasts are incredibly dangerous, even with your help, we won't fare long against them alone if we can't find a way to calm them down. Please go get Bai Zhan."

Shen Yuan pursed his lips but otherwise obeyed, running off at the very second. He followed the scent of perfumes and expensive fabrics, and the sound of chatter as it grew closer. "Help!" He wasn't sure who he was shouting at, but he sensed people near him, some with weak yang energy, and others with stronger energies.

However, the man to see him from his running was none other than Mu Qingfang, and he quickly ran forward to meet him in the middle, taking him by the arm to steady him. "Shen-shidi, what's wrong?"

Recognizing the voice, Shen Yuan sucked air through his teeth, he hadn't run to Bai Zhan, he'd run to Qian Cao! "I need to find the Bai Zhan disciples! Where are they?"

Mu Qingfang looked over his shoulder at the Shidi and Shimei he had brought; they all shook their heads, none knowing where Bai Zhan was either. "The last I saw them, they were heading to the southeast. Shidi, tell me what happened?"

"We know what the beasts are but–." He hesitated. Was it safe to tell everyone else just yet? His Shixiong had just told him to retrieve Bai Zhan, but if he said something aloud, whoever controlled the beasts would come after them all... "B-But they are too violent and too many, we can't handle them alone."

Mu Qingfang nodded stiffly, turning over his shoulder again to shout, "Everyone, head into the estate! It is our duty to make sure that no innocent civilians are harmed in the process, evacuate them as quickly as possible!"

"To the southeast?" Shen Yuan asked, feeling for the gaze of the sun and turning his back to it, then turning clockwise until he faced the southeast.

"Yes, be careful, Shidi." Mu Qingfang ordered, following the rest of his Shidi and Shimei inside to evacuate everyone else.

Shen Yuan didn't offer a response, instead running off as quickly as he could. He followed in that direction until the feeling of stone and compact dirt roads turned to grass, and dense trees surrounded him. He should have brought Xiao Yingzi, but there just wasn't the time. He couldn't hear anything, there was almost nothing around him, and he couldn't sense them anywhere near him.

Swallowing his pride, he shouted, "Liu Qingge! Luo Binghe!!" He continued to shout until he heard some kind of shout in response, distant but traceable.

He skidded to a stop, pinpointing the direction it came from and running toward it, grinning a little when the pulsing energies of at least two of the Bai Zhan disciples became clear to him, and he could follow them without struggle.

"Shen Yuan!?" The familiar voice of Liu Qingge shouted at him, perhaps only a few meters away, and Shen Yuan couldn't help the relief that washed over him at the realization.

That is, until something wrapped around his arms and yanked him up.

"Shen Yuan!" Another familiar voice shouted as Shen Yuan was hoisted up through the trees, snagging on branches and leaves all the while as he tried to kick his legs and hold onto something to stop him.

What the hell was going on!?

The material that grabbed him was clearly that of a robe, but with this robe, he suddenly felt heavier than usual, his senses felt strangely dull, and...and he couldn't reach out with his spiritual energy!

Immortal Binding Cables!

Everything seemed to only stop moving when he was left hanging by his arms. His shoulders ached, and the binding cable cut into his biceps through the fabric of his robes. He was still young; his golden core wasn't as powerful as that of someone like his Da-ge or Er-ge, so even the simplest of binds around him with immortal binding cable would leave him practically defenseless.

"Little one...Pray for a quick death." The voice that spoke next to his ear sent a shiver down his spine, and he wasn't able to even speak before a fist collided with his chest, and he was thrown out of the trees he had only then just been forced into.

It was a fleeting moment when he could feel his spiritual energy return, the immortal binding cables seemingly cut from their power source, but such a realization came only moments before he felt the first impact. He knew enough to protect his head, trying his best to curl up to protect himself, but that did nothing to soften the blow of landing.

He rolled and skidded to a stop, his back finally colliding painfully with a tree to stop his momentum, leaving him gasping and unable to breathe properly. He felt the heavy pounding of feet against the ground, and could only distantly hope that it wasn't whoever had thrown him out of the tree coming to finish the job, since it seemed Shen Yuan had snapped his neck upon impact.

"Shen-shidi," Oh fuck that was worse. "Are you alright?" Liu Qingge skidded to a stop on his knees next to him, immediately pressing a hand to his back to thread his spiritual energy with Shen Yuan's to help him recover quickly.

Shen Yuan shuddered at the feeling, almost wanting to shy away from it. "I...I just got thrown out of a tree...what do you think?"

"At least his sass is still intact," Luo Binghe chimed in with a small and quiet sigh of relief, reaching down, far less hesitant than Liu Qingge, and wrapping his arms around Shen Yuan's back and legs to hoist him up in a bridal carry.

"What the hell are you doing!? His spine could have been damaged!" Liu Qingge hissed, grabbing Shen Yuan's arm almost as if to yank him out of the younger man's arms.

"Then why the hell would we leave him on the ground!?" Luo Binghe countered, scoffing and scowling until he felt Shen Yuan hit his chest with a weak fist.

"I...I can still walk you, brutes! I know how to minimize the damage of a fall! Let me go!" Shen Yuan hissed, kicking his legs in hopes of reaching up high enough to collide with Luo Binghe's jaw.

"You shouldn't try it immediately, you might not feel the damage, but something could have happened in the fall." Liu Qingge retorted, grabbing one of Shen Yuan's ankles to keep him still.

"I can still kick my feet, can't I? Do I need to show you, come here! I'll show you how much force I still have!"

Luo Binghe laughed at the blatant show of contempt, a little relieved to see that his Shidi was acting like himself. Though his mirthful tone lost all warmth the second he saw the remains of the immortal binding cables still knotted around Shen Yuan's arms.

Kneeling in a swift motion until Shen Yuan was practically propped against his knee, Luo Binghe quickly grabbed the knotted remains of those red cables, tugging on them before relenting when he heard Shen Yuan hiss in pain. "Who did this?"

Shen Yuan grumbled weakly, reaching over to unknot the cables on one arm while Liu Qingge did the other. "I don't know, I didn't recognize his voice. But it has to be the person also responsible for the beasts attacking."

"What? Explain it to us." Liu Qingge commanded.

"Emerald Tongued Wolf-Bison, those are the beasts that have been attacking, but there is a demonic presence with them, even though they are spiritual beasts. It means that someone is controlling them and is solely responsible for all of this. Song-shixiong told me to get Bai Zhan, we couldn't handle the stampede alone."

Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe shared a look, one sneering while the other kept a cold expression and indifferent expression. Only one of them actually felt a duty to their sect, a need and a responsibility to protect it and everyone within it, and the other truly felt a responsibility for one person alone. No matter how reluctant he would be to admit that.

Said person was held securely within his grasp, and having just taken a blow that could have killed him, he was less than thrilled with the prospect of having to take down some demonically mind-controlled beasts.

"We will take care of it, go back to the estate." Liu Qingge ordered gruffly, easily taking Shen Yuan out of Luo Binhge's arms despite his Shidi's glare, and making sure he could stand on his own before trying to push him off.

"You don't know the first thing about those beasts; all you brutes know is how to kill. I need to come." Shen Yuan retorted, slapping Liu Qingge's hand away as he started heading back in the direction he had left his Shixiong and Shijie.

"You were just thrown out of a tree!" Luo Binghe shouted first, truly, no matter how annoyed he got with this Shidi of his, he couldn't help but constantly be left flabbergasted at just how little care he seemed to exhibit for himself.

"I survived, didn't I?" Shen Yuan snarked, rubbing at his shoulder before jerking it harshly, sighing when a resounding pop weakened the ache it had. All the while, Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge watched with both annoyed and... disturbed expressions. What the hell was wrong with this Shidi of theirs!? "Either come or don't. But tell the rest of Bai Zhan to come."

Grunting softly, Liu Qingge was quicker to his side, grabbing the back of his robes and yanking him back just as a larger cat would hold a kitten by the scruff of its fur. Entirely familiar with this oh-so-annoying hold, Shen Yuan spat out, "Liu Qingge!"

"Go back to the estate."

"Eat my boot!"

From behind them, Luo Binghe couldn't help but start snickering; it was a catfight in all meanings of the term. The bigger one held the little one by the scruff of its fur as the little kitten hissed and spat with the confidence of a tiger. Who couldn't help but laugh at them?

Liu Qingge felt his brow twitch irritably. He was rather used to Shen Yuan acting like this toward him, hissing and kicking his feet even if he was raised off of the ground and unable to truly fight back, he didn't relent. However, no matter how commonplace it was, the mere sound of that audacious Shidi's laughter always set him off.

"Luo Binghe! If you have time to laugh, you have time to leave!"

Luo Binghe raised his hands in mock surrender, snickering a bit more as he walked closer. He had to admit that it was rather unfair at the moment, but who was he not to laugh at such a ridiculous sight? The future War God of Bai Zhan Peak, practically losing a battle with a mouthy kitten that spoke with the confidence of someone ten times his size.

"Shixiong is always so cruel! I'm only here to help our Shidi~"

"I don't need your help! Go jump in the river first!" Shen Yuan spat, snarling when he heard Luo Binghe laugh. That was it, he was going to start swinging the next time he heard that laugh! Screw it if Luo Binghe was the OP protagonist! His death would be worth it if he could at least get a few good hits in!

"Now Shidi is just as cruel, here I thought we bonded in the market this morning." Liu Qingge raised his brow at that. He hadn't heard of what happened in the market, only belatedly realizing Luo Binghe had run off sometime when they first got there, and thoroughly chewed him out over it once he returned.

Shen Yuan chuckled bitterly at that, smirking as he said, "What? I didn't realize Luo-shixiong would be so interested to know that I already had a husband picked out! How bored are you?! Go find your gossip somewhere else!"

Shocked, Liu Qingge snapped his head at Shen Yuan, shouting, "Husband?!"

Shen Yuan groaned, wrestling a bit more with the grip Liu Qingge had on the back of his robes until he realized the head disciple's grip had only tightened. "Vendors asked me if they could find me a husband, and Luo-shixiong didn't know how to mind his own business! So, I told him who I had already picked out."

Suddenly feeling nauseous, Liu Qingge looked over at Luo Binghe, who rolled his eyes and grumbled out bitterly, "You said you'd marry your damn horse! A beast above all else!"

The...The fucking horse!?

"Xiao Yingzi isn't a beast! He has better manners than both Liu-shixiong and Luo-shixiong combined! I'd marry him before ever thinking of someone else!"

For whatever reason, Luo Binghe couldn't help but cringe at the sudden taste of vinegar in his mouth. Looking over, Liu Qingge seemed just as disturbed, if not sick, at the idea. That idiot, he likely thinks Shen Yuan is serious. Who the hell would actually marry a horse?!

Shaking his head and scowling at the foolishness, Liu Qingge finally relented on his niceties and forcefully dragged Shen Yuan through the woods they had been searching, all the while the Ling Shou disciple spat at him. "Luo Binghe, send out the beacon, aim it for Ling Shou's location."

Luo Binghe, both humored by watching the spectacle before him and rather annoyed, quickly retrieved the firework from his side, setting it off with a spark of qi near where he knew Ling Shou had set off.

When they approached the border of the estate and the woods, Liu Qingge practically threw Shen Yuan over the line, forgetting his strength for a moment as he said, "Go inside with Qian Cao, we'll handle it from here."

Shen Yuan, rather offended and furious, growled softly but otherwise turned away from them. Like hell, they were keeping him away for long though! Song Rong and Xia Cheng were his Shixiong and Shijie! When he was deep enough inside the main courtyard, he heard the bustle of servants hurrying to their homes, or for those who lived in the estate, were finding a safe place in the city in one of the shelters, while the cultivators sorted everything out.

"Daozhang!" A familiar voice called to him, and Shen Yuan turned quickly to feel a gentle hand on his shoulder and the fatherly embrace of Yang Haoyu, "Thank goodness, the other Daozhang told us to leave immediately, and even our governor has left! This poor servant feared the worst, he's grateful to see that Daozhang is alright."

Shen Yuan nodded quickly, patting the man's hand as he said, "This one is alright, Yang Haoyu should get to his family and find a safe place until all of this has passed."

Yang Haoyu nodded, only to chuckle sheepishly when he met the young man's eyes. How did he keep forgetting that!? "Of course, this one was about to leave...But I just couldn't leave with the idea of young Daozhang out there without being sure he was alright...call it fatherly instinct!"

Shen Yuan laughed understandingly, nodding resolutely as he took the man by the hand and led him to where he could hear the bustle of the other civilians fleeing the scene. "This Shen will be alright, he only asks that you leave now and make it to your family safely."

"I will, I will," The man sighed, clapping the young man finally only on the shoulder, sue him if you must! He was nothing but a father after all! How was he to look at this young man before him and willfully leave him to fend for himself!? Cultivator or not! His poor heart couldn't take it! Or his pride! "This one will be sure to tell my little Yixuan of this kind young Daozhang once I return home!"

"Then make it back quickly, I hope to meet your son in Cang Qiong one day." Shen Yuan nodded a final time before heading inside, the further he stepped inside, he heard less and less hustle and bustle. People were clearing out quickly, good. It meant that he could head back out to the woods just as quickly to help his Shijie and Shixiong without hearing a bit of tongue-lashing from those two brutes or having to fight both them and the beasts off.

"What are they doing!?"

"Oh my! Why are they riding this way!?"

"Forget why, what in hell's name are they riding on!?"

Shen Yuan heard the commotion, following it easily as he kept hearing the women screeching. "What is happening!?"

"Daozhang! Come over here quickly!" One of the women called to him, practically yanking him over to them once he was in range and nearly shoving him out the open window from their franticness.

"Madams, please describe it to me." Shen Yuan clarified calmly, turning his head to show his eyes, earning the distressed cries of all three women.

"Daozhang! I-It's...It looks like men! But not men! They're riding atop...they...they can't even be horses! They're made out of rotting flesh and bone, not even a bit of meat left on them! It's...ugh." The woman who spoke first nearly fainted as she tried to describe it, having to be supported by one of the others as the third stepped forward and explained it all clearly.

"The horses look undead, their riders are...they can't be human. Their skin is nearly tan enough to be considered red, and they each have strange markings on their face, blue in color, but it seems to spiral into a deep purple under their eyes, but I can't make them out clearly, they're still too far out. But they are riding this way, but...but they–. What in the heavens!?"

"Madam!" Shen Yuan shouted this time, could people just speak aloud!? Please!? He knew it could be a hassle to have to describe these things to him, but he was only trying to help! "What is it!?"

"They...They look like women! Bu–. But their faces! I could have sworn they were men! And they...they're wearing the clothes of the matchmakers from the city!"

The matchmakers!? The vendors...everyone from that city claimed to not have known a thing about the beasts, but they all mentioned the matchmakers! Is that entire city infected by this!? Are they all being controlled!? Why couldn't I sense it!? Shen Yuan shook his head, steeling his nerves. Whoever these people were, they were coming too close, and they likely weren't friendly.

"Tell everyone to head north, away from the city, if they have family there, collect them quickly, but don't make too much of a scene, then go to Jinlan City, it is the closest place nearby, and it will be safe. If something is to go wrong, tell the governor of that city to call for Cang Qiong or Zhao Hua Monastery for help." Shen Yuan ordered sternly, inhaling deeply as he listened to the women hurry off, shouting and ordering whoever was left in the estate to do as he said.

[Congratulations! New plot point unlocked! Plot hole filled! New mission, survive demon attack! If completed successfully, User will receive 100 B-points! Good Luck!]

"What the fuck!?" Shen Yuan hissed, jumping in fright from the sudden startle. "What the hell do you mean, new mission!? Plot hole filled!? Screw you! Why is that mission requirement so broad!?"

[This System wishes User good luck! ( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ )]

"How I despise you."

Shen Yuan checked the rest of the hallways quickly, making sure no one would be left behind as he headed back to the courtyard to find Mu Qingfang, though it seemed to end up the other way around. "Shen-shidi!" The doctor in training called out to him, stopping him dead in his tracks. "Why are the residents heading north to Jinlan City?"

"Potential threats are coming from the city. It seems that whatever has caused these beasts' attacks is also coming here this instant; they will be here within the minute. Until Bai Zhan and the rest of Ling Shou get back, we have to make sure they don't make it inside, and that the civilians get out quickly. I think they're demons."

Mu Qingfang hummed sharply, barking a few orders to his Shimei and Shidi before turning back to Shen Yuan. "What does Shidi suggest we do? No one here is much of a warrior, even I do not possess much martial prowess, I would not be able to help much."

Shen Yuan hummed softly, they couldn't send off a distress signal, it would let the demons know that they knew of their plans and they would likely head out to the forest to ambush the rest. "Does Mu-shixiong still possess blank talisman paper?"

Mu Qingfang pulled out a few sheets. "Of course, what does Shidi have in mind?"

The rest of the civilians were led out of the north gate, a few sent ahead to intercept those who had left earlier to keep them from going to the city unless they had a family to retrieve, and then head straight for Jinlan City.

Mu Qingfang took charge of the entire situation, ordering those who were able while Shen Yuan directed his Qian Cao Shijie just how to write out the talismans. He set to distributing them along the gate's walls, tactically and practically, he had run atop rooftops to place them all perfectly before going to hide himself.

Shen Yuan stood on top of the gate, hidden behind one of the watch towers. The talismans were set, from what he could hear, there were only three sets of Bone-Agony Shire Horses. So that meant he only needed three arrows.

He necked his bow, the other two arrows already at the ready, sticking up in his quiver. Closer, just a little closer...Within an instant, a rainbow of color flashed across the east wall, visible to Shen Yuan's poor eyesight but entirely blinding to anyone else who was too close.

He sprinted across the wall, arrow necked and stance in check as he counted down.

Five.

Find the energy of his target, his own reaching out forcefully until he locked in on it, exactly to his southeast.

Four.

Conjoin it with his own, feed that energy through himself before pushing it into the very wood of his arrow.

Three.

Aim, let the arrowhead pulse with that targeted energy, don't lose it.

Two.

Draw the arrow, and pull back with all of his strength until he can feel the painted feather he used as a marker touch his cheek.

One.

Fire!

He heard the arrow fly through the air with a deadly hiss, and he heard the telltale sound of a painful grunt and a body falling to the ground to know he hit his target. Straight in the heart, a clean kill.

He did the same once another talisman was set off, running across the gate until he drew his arrow, found his target, and fired within those few seconds just as he had been instructed. Once again, when another was set off, Shen Yuan saw the blurry rainbow of colors and followed it like a moth to a flame.

A perfect tool to blind his enemies to his level, if only for a minute, and the perfect distress signal that could be seen for miles.

He smirked when he heard the third and final body fall, listening as the demonic steeds all squealed before abandoning their slain riders. Ha! Xiao Yingzi would never! He truly had the best horse!

That should be all of them; there were only three. Shen Yuan slung his bow over his shoulder, standing from his hiding place as he waved his hand, knowing Mu Qingfang was near to see his signal.

However, instead of the triumphant or relieved shouts he expected, he heard the pounding of fists against the sturdy wood of the gates, and the screams of those still inside. Shen Yuan whirled around, he wasn't on the ground, he was on the stone wall, he couldn't sense a damn thing!

"Shen-shidi! They're at the gates!" Mu Qingfang shouted, trying to control those around him through the back gates and keep everyone calm, but the beating of heavy bodies and fists against the gate left them all in a panic.

Shen Yuan necked his bow once again, sending out his energy to find those beating against the gates, that is until an onslaught of demonic energy practically hit him like a truck, and he realized there were many more than he had expected.

Regardless, he drew his arrows, he necked his bow, and he fired at each and every one he could sense and at each one that came close enough to set off the talismans on the walls. He fired with rapid speed, counting down as his nose inhaled the stench of blood and slowly rotting corpses, and his tainted vision beheld the overwhelming and blurry explosions of color throughout the slowly darkening sky.

But as he listened to each grunt and groan of a fallen assailant, he slowly realized just what was attacking them! Corpses! He was firing at corpses! That's why their energies were so potent! They were already dead! And they were being controlled by demonic energy!

Finally, he remembered what that woman had said about those markings on their faces, about the tan skin dark enough to be considered red, the confusion of their genders, and how they clothed themselves in robes of matchmakers!

They were Obsession-Boned Demons of the North!

There had only been one or two mentions in all of PIDW, and Shen Yuan had never met one in person in his past life, only reading about them in the forbidden library of Qing Jing. But these demons could force anyone to fall in love, and the second that connection was made within their power, those unsuspecting lovers would be forever bound under their control as nothing less than the living dead unless they severed the bond of marriage sealed within the temple of the demons' worship!

It seemed those demons truly utilized their final power against them, as Shen Yuan had shot them down! They must have called upon at least half the city to be nothing more than their undead army!

Screw those vendors! Trying to marry me off to be some demon puppet! No doubt they were under their influence as well!

He reached behind him again, but when his hand met an empty quiver, he cursed and jumped from the stone wall. "I ran out of arrows! Keep the gates closed! Barricade them!" Shen Yuan shouted as he sprinted to the guest stables, he always kept an extra quiver with Xiao Yingzi, there should be enough there!

Once he reached the stables, he heard the horses all squealing a raising a fuss. They could hear the commotion outside and were scared out of their wits. "Easy now, everyone! Stay calm! You're safe!" Shen Yuan tried to calm them down as he made his way to Xiao Yingzi. Once he opened the gate, his steed was already trying to push him aside, whether it be to push him inside with him, or to force him to move aside so he could charge out there himself, Shen Yuan wasn't sure.

"Xiao Yingzi! Be still! I just have to grab my arrows! I'm afraid you can't help me here, old friend." He soothed his furious stallion, hugging the creature around his neck as he dug at the ground agitatedly. "Forgive me just this once, I don't want you to get hurt." Shen Yuan made his way around him to his saddle bag, unlatching it to reveal the supply of arrows he always kept handy.

He loaded his quiver quickly, latching it around his shoulders again as he bullied Xiao Yingzi back behind the gate so he could close it, all the while the stallion squealed furiously. "Be good for me, Yingzi!"

Shen Yuan hurried back outside, hearing the sound of the undead beating against the gates, even some trying to scale the stone wall with no success as the talismans continued to fire off explosion after explosion of colors, either throwing the corpses off of the wall or blinding the few who dared to try.

"You can't stop them all with your arrows!" Mu Qingfang shouted at him, he and the rest of Qian Cao barricaded the gates from both the front and the back to keep everything out, and everyone else inside. "We need help!"

"They're still fighting the Emerald-Tongue Wolf Bison!" Shen Yuan shouted over the sound of the undead, the very sound of nails scraping against wood and stone, leaving him feeling sick to his stomach. "We have to fight them off!"

"How!?" Mu Qingfang grunted, throwing a barrel into the pile they made. "We have very few weapons, and we are heavily outnumbered!"

Before he was even able to give a proper response, the groaning and growling of the corpses outside began to grow louder, and Shen Yuan felt cold dread settle over him at the sound. That is...it all fell quiet...too quiet.

The gates slammed open with a resounding echo, the barricade smashed to pieces as what was left of the horde tried to crawl through, only to be pummeled by swords and heavy boots. The rest of Cang Qiong's procession had arrived!

"Liu-shixiong! Song-shidi!" Mu Qingfang shouted in relief; however, he quickly grunted when half of a corpse tried to crawl towards him. Brandishing his sword, he decapitated what was left of the monster before it could touch him.

The Bai Zhan Peak disciples each cut down at least five walking corpses with only a few strikes, each covered in blood and filth of battle. While Song Rong and Xia Cheng both cleaved through the corpses with their weapons until they reached Shen Yuan. "Yuan-shidi!" Song Rong hugged him immediately, just as Xia Cheng did the same around both of them, all three disregarding the respective dirt and grime on their clothes.

"Are you both alright?!" Shen Yuan shouted, feeling about both of them to check. There was some damage, but nothing terrible, and nothing that couldn't be tended to quickly.

"We're fine, but I fear the worst isn't–." Before Song Rong could even finish his sentence, a resounding clash of weapons struck, iron against iron, and the war cries of the charging demons commenced the second surge of the battle. "...Over."

"Where the hell are they coming from!?" Shen Yuan hissed, quickly necking his bow as he followed his Shixiong and Shijie into the starting battle, already listening as three demons took on one Bai Zhan Peak disciple as Qian Cao defended the civilians.

"They had to have been called by the leader of all of this, but who is it!?" Xia Cheng shouted, unsheathing her spear as Song Rong did the same with his long sword.

"We don't know!" Song Rong jumped into the fray, taking on anyone he could see with reckless abandon. Xia Cheng followed after him, shouting as she raised her spear and immediately sent it through the heart of an attacking demon.

Hissing through his teeth, Shen Yuan took to the high ground again, running across the stone wall as he fired his arrows. There were still some corpses left crawling about, but he aimed directly for the demons. They were still severely outnumbered, for every two they struck down, three seemed to come to avenge their fallen.

Liu Qingge took down two swiftly, an easy strike to the heart and lungs all at once when he crossed glances with Mu Qingfang, who was cutting down the remains of the corpses that tried to attack any of the civilians still left inside.

Their eyes only met for a moment, but an understanding was held instantaneously, and he immediately set to work. "Drive them out!" Liu Qingge shouted, face painted with black blood and robes ruined from the filth of battle. At his orders, the Bai Zhan disciples began to beat the demons out of the estate, closer and closer to the border of the woods as Qian Cao began to evacuate all who were left.

Shen Yuan jumped from the stone wall, necking his bow as he fired continuously. He was running out of arrows again, but as long as he could take down as many as possible, then it would be worth the loss!

The vibrations around him left him somewhat muddled, he relied solely on the focused attention of each target he was after, which inadvertently left him exposed to the oncoming attack. "Move!" Suddenly, he was shoved to the ground and he heard the clashing of sword against sword, brandishing his dagger, he aimed for the gut of the demon. Wounding the attacker enough that Lou Binghe was given a clean strike to the heart to bring him down.

"What are you doing, leaving your back exposed!?" Luo Binghe said as he yanked Shen Yuan off of his dirtied knees, taking a quick look over the Ling Shou disciple as Shen Yuan yanked his arm from his grip.

"I was focusing!"

"Focus on actually surviving!"

Shen Yuan scoffed as he necked his bow again. "I don't need your help!" He fired again, sprinting off to take down his next target while Luo Binghe groaned.

However long the battle raged on, it was far from his knowledge. He watched as the sky turned darker, only illuminated by the harvest moon and the stars. Regardless, he fired at will and took back the arrows from those he had taken down from their pierced hearts.

However, the battlefield was not one where anyone could avoid those they wished to, and as a result, Shen Yuan ran into the two who aggravated him the most. "Don't leave your chest so exposed!" Liu Qingge shouted at him, even being audacious enough to take a second to correct his posture with the hilt of his blade before getting back into it.

"What are you doing!?" Luo Binghe shouted at him, less forgiving as he forcibly yanked Shen Yuan away from his close target. "Fire from a distance! You have a long-range weapon for a reason!"

These fucking assholes!

However, unlike those two, he didn't dare to take the time to shout at them. For even when he shot down a demon, it only seemed that two would take their place, if not the very demons would rise from the dead to avenge themselves.

It was so annoying!

Out of arrows, and nowhere near one of his latest targets, Shen Yuan was forced to search for the weak sense of the talismans he painted onto the body of his arrows to find them. But in comparison to the raging yin and yang energy all around him, it was nearly impossible to focus on such an insignificant trail in the middle of it all!

That is, until he caught the trail of two flying through the air.

Their targets were close to him, and they were not on the side he was against, but instead the side he fought for. And for the very two he had grown so tired of.

His body acted before he did. The arrows were flying low enough that he could catch them and use them himself, even if they weren't his own. It was just because he needed the arrows. It was for no other reason. He didn't care about them, and they didn't care about him. They lived in a mutual agreement of discontent with each other.

That was okay. He was okay with that.

He could actually talk to them like this.

He could tell them when he was upset or when he was tired of them. When they annoyed him, whenever he wanted to just hit them silly for saying something stupid.

He could smile when they made stupid jokes with each other, he could laugh at their creative insults, and he could sit near them even in silence.

They didn't like each other, all three of them; they had to hate each other.

There was just nothing else, truly. Nothing.

Not even when one arrow made it into his hand, but the other had been too far, and too low, and he didn't think to try and reach for both. Only stop the trajectory.

He didn't care about them. He didn't like them. And they didn't like him.

Not even when that too-low arrow pierced straight between his ribs.

"Shen Yuan!" Oh, it had been Luo Binghe it had been aimed at? It likely would've hit his lower abdomen then. It was for the best, imagine he had been shot through his pancreas or stomach? How terrible that would've been.

No, no, he didn't care about them. He told himself that. It really was all just for the best.

It didn't matter, not the burning of the arrow, and whatever poison those demons laced theirs with. It hurt, and it burned like fire, but it didn't matter all that much. He didn't care about them, and they didn't care about him. It was just..a favor between martial brothers. That's all.

"I–."

Before he could even speak, there was a tug, and then a yank, and then that arrowhead broke apart into pieces, each corner stabbing into his flesh like an anchor as the thin chain Shen Yuan hadn't noticed was attached to it was yanked back, and Shen Yuan along with it.

"NO!"

It was strange. How it felt to soar through the air, even if only for a minute. It was such a strange, weightless feeling. It sent butterflies through his stomach, and for a moment, he could almost imagine staying up here. Free, weightless, without a single pain or worry. But that was only a fantasy.

Reality hurt much, much worse.

The landing this time hurt; he wasn't prepared for it, and he couldn't even think of it as he felt himself falling. He landed painfully on his back, rolling to a stop until he was scraped up and bruised. The arrow had been broken, torn out of him through the tumble, leaving the open and burning wound as whatever poison was laced into the arrow seeped into the open blood vessels.

"I told you, little one, you should have prayed for a quick death." That voice, which spoke over him, was the same as before, and Shen Yuan groaned face down in the dirt when that person grabbed him by his shoulder and hoisted him off his front, only to chuck him across the ground onto his back. "Poking into matters that didn't concern you, being just a little too nosy, don't you know it's best to stick to your own?"

The scent of rich perfumes suddenly collided with his bruised nose, and Shen Yuan couldn't help but laugh triumphantly. "You're the governor! Are–. Aren't you?"

The governor crouched next to him, kicking him back onto his front so he could pat his head. "Very perceptive for a blind child. If you hadn't pissed me off so much, I would have enjoyed to use you as a puppet."

"You...You're also an Obsession-Boned Demon, right? Th-That's how you made...the people of the city your puppets...with the matchmakers...?"

"My, little one, you're starting to impress me!" The governor patted his head again, strangely gentle in comparison to the pain he had already inflicted. "Truly, if only you hadn't been such a nuisance, I would have loved to see how that brain of yours worked. Ah, well, the way of the river is never to be disclosed."

The demon stood, stepping away from him as Shen Yuan shouted, "Why? Why would you do it?!"

"Why?" That demon smiled grandly, pleased by such a question. So much so that he decided he might as well be polite and face this noble little cultivator on his deathbed; he truly had served as some fun entertainment. "Why not? That's truly the best answer I have, little one! This old Yating grew bored with his home in the North, so he decided to come to the Human Realm! It was quite fun to control just a few people at first, but once this one realized he could control so much more with just a bit of help...well, how could I pass up such entertainment!"

How cruel. "All of this...was for entertainment?" Shen Yuan coughed, wiping his mouth of the bile that rose into his throat. What the hell was this poison? It felt... too familiar.

"Of course," the governor shrugged, caring little for his mannerisms in front of this young man who could not even see the shift between human form and demonic that was happening before his very eyes. "It was simple to hide myself amongst them, and even easier to take control of more than half of that ridiculous little city. They were doing nothing were their lives, at least now, their lives served as my entertainment. Truly, they should thank me for giving them purpose."

Shen Yuan hissed through his teeth as he listened to this ridiculous monologue. What shit! Using innocent people like this! For what!? To rid yourself of some boredom!? What cruelty! It made him furious enough to forget his wound as he tried to stand for battle, only to crumple back onto the ground as he groaned, even the simple act of moving becoming increasingly harder.

Clicking his tongue, the fake governor tutted as he leaned down to pat Shen Yuan's head a final time. A final parting, if you will. "Easy now, little one. Death will come slowly, rather painfully, too. But it will come, just stay down and be patient. Besides, there is no cure for such a poison, at least not for humans."

"Sh..Shut up!" Shen Yuan spat, he couldn't bear to listen to his asshole anymore! He was going to be sick! "I...don't care what you say!"

"Truly? How fearless!" The fake governor laughed. "Without-a-Cure is a rather peerless poison. Harmless to demons, but the moment even the slightest drop infects a human, it might as well kill them immediately if their cultivation is not strong enough, and even if it is, it will cause such stagnation that the cultivator will either kill themselves out of desperation or their very veins will explode inside their bodies!"

Shen Yuan froze at the name, he was rather familiar with this poison, only...he hadn't ever thought he would come to face it again in this lifetime.

The demon saw the fear that flashed across his face and laughed, saying his final farewell. "No matter, little one should be weak enough to die quickly enough. Though I suggest biting your tongue! At least then you won't scream as loud!"

Shen Yuan groaned as he felt the poison spread, leaving his body aching and his spiritual veins slowly clogging up. It hurt. It hurt so much worse than he remembered. That damned demon hadn't been lying, if you were strong enough to survive it, it would only affect you if you couldn't clear your meridians, but if you weren't...

"Fuck!" Shen Yuan shouted, but the clashing of iron like the thunder of a hurricane drowned him out. He was just another corpse now. Just another fallen body to be stepped over and ignored.

No one was coming to help, but then again, no one had back then either.

Those damned demons...that Sha Hualing, all of them! They could burn for all he cared! Attacking disciples as they had! He was lucky enough that when he had gone into the Lingxi Caves to find his brother, he had also found Liu Qingge.

Albeit in the middle of a qi deviation. But he had been able to help him through it before going to retrieve his brother. If not...he wasn't sure how that would have all played out.

But for his Er-ge to force Luo Binghe to fight that elder...blasphemy. Nothing less. It burned a deep anger in his heart, but at the moment, that anger was snuffed out by his exhaustion.

When it had happened, he had only seen that elder demon charging for Luo Binghe; he hadn't even thought before he rushed in front and shielded him. He had drawn Hui Qu quickly enough that he had been able to cut down that audacious demon before anyone could notice, and his sleeves were long enough to cover the slowly staining fabric.

No one questioned him, not even when he left swiftly, and he didn't say a word.

Not that he could.

But now, inside his small and lonely little cottage...he almost wished he would have.

He stripped himself down to his trousers, grunting and groaning as he cleaned the stab wound. That bastard had pierced him in the abdomen with one of his spikes, and now...it burned and pulsed worse than any wound he had ever faced before.

It hurt ten times worse when he had to stitch it up himself.

If he had stuffed a rag into his mouth, muffling his shouts of agony, only for that rag to come out of his mouth soaked in blood and drool, then he tucked it into the bottom of his laundry basket along with his soiled robes.

He let his back fall onto the ground. It was cold, and no one was coming. Everything hurt, and it was getting harder to stay awake. He could feel his spiritual veins clogging up. Was he having a qi deviation?

Oh well, no one would miss Shen Tianyan, regardless, what was the harm?

He just had to close his eyes, and...

"Tianyan!" Oh, someone was here. "Shen Tianyan, I swear on the heavens themselves, if you don't open this door, I'll break it off its hinges!"

Shang Qinghua always made the same old threat. He'd never actually do it, he just had to wait for him to get bored and leave, then–. He could hear the splitting of wood, and it was almost alarming enough to make him open his eyes.

That jerk! He'd have to replace that door now! Didn't Shang Qinghua remember when he told him that he built this place by hand!? He was picky with his things, but he had spent too much damn time building his home for someone to just come in crashing through his doors!

"Oh my...Tianyan!" Shang Qinghua was looming over him soon enough, grabbing him and hoisting him up to support him. Shen Tianyan cared little for the fact he was without his amulet and he was damn near the point of indecency. It was nothing Shang Qinghua hadn't seen before. "What happened!? I heard you vanished from the invasion, but I–. When were you hurt!? Why didn't you go to Qian Cao!?"

Oh, right, he was dying.

"Don't want to..." Shen Tianyan murmured, indignant and tired. He was pissed okay?! He was just trying to die in peace! Couldn't a man ask for that much!? "...Tired..."

Suddenly, a flood of spiritual energy was being shoved through his clogged veins, making him groan and ache all over, but Shang Qinghua was relentless. "Oh, ho! Absolutely not! You're not dying on me! Open your eyes! Glare and scream at me all you like, but I won't let you die!"

"Qinghua..." Shen Tianyan hissed weakly, barely able to peek his eyes open to see the tears running down his friend's face. "...What...?"

"Don't look so surprised you asshole..." Shang Qinghua sniffled, hugging Shen Tianyan just a bit tighter. "You surprised I'd be upset if you died? If you think I look weird, think of that disciple of yours, okay? Think of Luo Binghe, he'd kill himself from guilt if he thought he was responsible for your death, come on now, Tianyan. I know you're stronger than this."

Shen Tianyan groaned weakly. His heart couldn't stand the sight of his friend crying, and the thought of Luo Binghe blaming himself to that point...he truly couldn't bear it, so he sighed weakly and murmured, "Such a...cruel friend."

"Yeah, well..." Shang Qinghua laughed weakly, sniffling through his tears. "That makes both of us. So, don't even think of dying on me."

Oh.

Oh, there had been someone.

He had forgotten.

Shang Qinghua...he truly was the dearest friend he had, wasn't he?

Shen Yuan whimpered softly as he tried to lift himself again, but his body ached too much, and it was only when he made that little noise did he realized his throat was rather sore...had he...had he been talking as those memories came to him? Or...singing?

He couldn't figure it out before the stampede caused the ground to tremble, and Shen Yuan gasped softly when he heard the all-familiar bellow. He heard the fighting cease for a moment, that stampede coming to a slow trot as they emerged from the brush of the woods, standing amongst the trees in all their glory.

Emerald-Tongued Wolf Bison truly lived up to their name.

Their bodies were sleek and black with the hide and stature of that of a bison, but from the shoulders up, they had the head of a wolf, along with the fluffy tail, and the horns of a bison. However, what truly gave it its name was the emerald tongue that hung out of the creatures' mouths as they panted.

It was only when the furious beasts emerged that Song Rong saw his Shidi lying there, prone and face down in the dirt, left all alone before those very beasts that had been dead set on killing him earlier. "Yuan-shidi!"

The beasts all roared at the sudden sound, growling and ruffing up the ground with their paws. The leader, the largest male, stepped forward. Sniffing at the ground until its maw, as large as the young man's torso, met with a gentle nudge to that young man's shoulder.

Shen Yuan turned his head slowly, only able to see the blurry color of the emerald green tongue before he closed his eyes again. If he was about to get eaten, he didn't want to see it. The creature sniffed at him again, almost making a...sad sound, before its glare met with what remained of the demon's forces, and growled furiously.

Just as angry at having been under the control of demons as everyone else.

The calm before the storm did not last long as the leader of such a herd reared back on its hind legs with a mighty cry and charged. The rest of the herd followed after, jumping over that little body in front of them.

However, it was not only their leader's call that led them to avoid him. But the stallion who had charged through the battlefield, roaring with a furious passion as he kicked and tore through anyone necessary to make it to that young man on the ground. Xiao Yingzi stood over Shen Yuan, shielding him as he squealed furiously, kicking his hind legs and biting whenever the creatures drew too close.

And the carnage that ensued was nothing less than terrifying. Emerald-Tongued Wolf Bison were vengeful creatures. Show them mercy, and they will never forget it, but slight them, and they will return it tenfold. As plainly seen in the mangled corpses of the demon attackers.

Song Rong watched in awe as the beasts he had fought against under the control of demons tore through the very ones that had caused them their suffering, and he couldn't help but let loose a high call of victory. Cheering and ululating as the beasts won them their victory.

Xia Cheng joined in, raising her spear into the air as she shrieked and cried out into the night. It was not by a miracle that these beasts had come. No, they had heard the soft melody of which only their peak was familiar, and it had seemed that in response to their Shidi's gentle call, the very beasts they had come to rid this estate of had come to his aid.

Xiao Yingzi only knelt when he saw the herd attack the demons, avoiding the cultivators altogether as they repaid their debts. The stallion squealed in distress, sniffing and huffing worriedly as he nudged Shen Yuan's head with his muzzle.

A weak hand grabbed the reins that dragged against the ground, allowing the beast of a stallion to drag him upward until he was able to wrap his arms around the horse's legs, using him for balance so he could stand, leaning heavily against the stallion.

Xiao Yingzi huffed and puffed worriedly, squealing softly until Shen Yuan grabbed his reins again, and the horse slowly began to lead him to hobble closer to the cheering crowd of Cang Qiong's disciples.

"Yuan..."

Who was that? He couldn't sense a thing; he could barely even feel Xiao Yingzi's mane around his fingers, instead only feeling the cold static of numbness. He truly was blind now, without a single sense to know who...No, no, it had to be his Shijie...no one else called him Yuan.

It was just his Shijie...

He...He wanted his Shijie.

He tried to step forward, but without leaning on Xiao Yingzi, his legs couldn't bear his weight, and he almost crumpled to the ground. If not for the strong arms that wrapped around him, and hugged him close to a warm chest.

Something was off, his Shijie always felt soft when she hugged him, but now...her chest and abdomen were hard. Was she wearing protective layering? Was he truly just losing his mind?

"Please...Please don't do this again..." This voice...was too deep to be his Shijie, it was too rough, but...gentle? Heartbroken? Hurt? Scared? "Yuan, please..."

It had to be his Shijie, his Song-shixiong, only ever called him 'Yuan-shidi.' It was only Xia Cheng who was ever so informal as to call him as casually as by his name. Besides, no one but his Shixiong and Shijie would give a damn, it would only be them who cared to look at him now.

Weak, hurt...dying.

No one else cared.

It had to be her...or maybe, his Song-shixiong? But...his Song-shixiong's voice didn't sound like that either...

"Yuan!" That voice was choked, broken, and pleading. "Yuan, please...Not again, please not again."

"I...I won't..." Who was he talking to? Was he losing his mind now? Was the poison damaging his brain? Maybe he was talking to his Shijie or Shixiong after all, and his brain was just playing tricks on him. "I...I'm here..."

"Stay awake a little longer, just a little longer this time. Don't keep me behind you."

This person...they had to care about him...he wasn't sure what they were saying, but...they had to care. "I'm...I'm tired bu–. But, I don't want to die..." His voice hitched, and he coughed violently, tasting the all-too-familiar taste of iron on his tongue. "Please...Please...It–. It hurt...it was scary. I-. I don't want to die, please, I-I don't want to die, please..." Those arms around him hugged him tighter. It hurt, it burned, but it...felt so nice. It felt warm, comforting, and safe.

That person didn't speak to him again, his ears were starting to ring, but he could feel shaking. This person who held him. They were shaking? Were they hurt too? What happened? Were they still being attacked? What–. He felt the drop of liquid against his neck, and he was suddenly aware of the wetness of his own face.

They were crying...surely then...this person had to care about him... just a little? If they were this upset to see him die?

He hated seeing people cry. It was worse when he was little; he used to cry too if a person cried around him, and even now, even after three lifetimes, he still didn't like it. So, he tried, he tried to hug this person. This kind person, who hugged him and held him, strong arms protecting him and keeping him company. At the very least, this time...he wasn't dying alone. "I...I want to say goodbye this time...Ca-. Can I say goodbye this time...please? I...I want to say goodbye."

He thought he heard that person start to say something, maybe his name? Maybe agreement? He wasn't sure. The ringing in his ears grew until it was as if cotton had been shoved in his ears. It was late anyway, the heavens only knew what time it was, he should sleep.

His Da-Shijie had scolded him a few times for staying up too late.

He was tired anyway, he should just...go to sleep....just for a little while.

There wasn't any harm in it, at least not now; he wasn't alone this time.

"Yuan! Yuan! Shen Yuan!" That person, grabbed his face, cradling that limp body against his as he screamed. Shen Yuan had closed his eyes, he wasn't answering him, he wasn't–. "Shen Yuan answer me!"

If from the distance Luo Binghe saw this, if he saw the way Xiao Yingzi; that normally aggressive beast, paced anxiously rearing his head back and squealing as he watched that person—that stupid, reckless, selfless, heart-shattering person—fall limp in Liu Qingge's arms as Liu Qingge himself screamed, begged, and cried for Shen Yuan to open his eyes, to respond to him.

To live.

Then he was only able to watch.

He was only able to fall to his knees—perhaps from the sight or from the injuries he had sustained—and watch. He couldn't speak, he couldn't move, and he couldn't do a thing as he watched for a second time.

For a second time, Shen Yuan kneeled on the ground, gentle face marred by blood, delicate body tarnished with wounds, and welcoming spirit, that lovely warmth left him for a second time.

All the while, he had a smile on his face.

He was only able to watch.

As Song Rong raced forward, screaming at the top of his lungs in pure agony. As though Shen Yuan's pain was his own. Xia Cheng came only seconds after him, sobbing her heart out as she cradled Shen Yuan's face when Song Rong took him from Liu Qingge, the two holding their youngest with distraught expressions as they both set into action without a second thought despite their anguish.

He could only watch as Liu Qingge stayed there. Who knows how long for, who knows how long they both stayed there, but who could stop them as they both raised their heads and stood, and finally looked at each other?

Who could guess that shared look in their eyes?

Who could know what they did?

Chapter Text

There was a heavy thud, a groan, and a furious shout.

No one dared to enter the tent. Anyone who passed by walked even faster to get away. It had been hours, nearly an entire day, truthfully, the sun had long since risen to its highest point in the sky, and the corpses had been burned and dealt with. The area around the state and what remained of the ghost town of a city had been cleansed of all demonic energy, extra forces coming straight from the distress call to Cang Qiong to aid their wounded martial brothers and sisters, and to take those who had been too severely injured back to the sect. But there was still one left, there was one still left alive.

Though from the sounds inside, he wouldn't be alive much longer.

"Xiao-Jiu," Yue Qingyuan caught his hand. His knuckles were already split and bloody from how many times he had struck the demon. However, the demon was much, much worse. "Be gentle on yourself." He pressed a kiss to those bloody knuckles, a simple but effective way to heal the split skin almost instantly from shared qi.

Shen Qingqiu growled, not particularly at Yue Qingyuan or the demon lying in a pool of his own blood on the ground. He just growled. Furious, worried, heartbroken, all too many emotions for one word to possess and far too complicated for one person to manage within themself for long without driving themself mad. It was only by the grace of Yue Qingyuan's compassion and adoration that he hadn't driven himself to that brink already.

"Qi-ge..." His name was only muttered as an anchor, not exactly trying to ask him for anything, only a hopeful call to hear the reassurance of the one he knew who loved him. Of the only one left, he knew who loved him.

"Xiao-Jiu," Yue Qingyuan kissed his hand again, and the skin healed completely, only leaving the dried blood to split against the movement of his joints. "Would you like to interrogate him now?"

They hadn't asked a single question. They arrived in a flurry of other disciples from Bai Zhan, Qian Cao, and Ling Shou to help. Ci Liang had been at their side the entire time, barking orders and following Song Rong to the small infirmary they had taken over in the city, where others were being helped. Though Mu Qingfang himself had taken over the care of him. The care of Shen Yuan.

He hadn't been awake, far from it, actually. With only a single look, one would not be afraid to assume that the poor young man in that infirmary bed had long since met his end, and now only had to wait for his burial ceremony.

Shen Qingqiu damn near screamed at the sight, only reassured when Mu Qingfang saw his petrified expression and reassured him. Shen Yuan was alive, he was...getting better. But the poison he had been infected with was one that there was very little knowledge of, and no known cure. All they knew was that it clogged his spiritual veins, if it was not suppressed regularly as of the moment, it would spread like shattering glass across his skin. Black in color and killing the skin that it touched.

But all Shen Qingqiu could focus on was the fact that the rise and fall of his baby brother's chest was too weak. His eyes were closed, he didn't speak, and one could rightfully compare his complexion to that of freshly fallen snow.

Ci Liang looked just as furious as him, heartbroken and upset. She immediately comforted Xia Cheng, who broke down into tears at his bedside. Apologizing profusely and taking responsibility before Song Rong stopped her and tried to take the blame. But it was Mu Qingfang who stopped them both, reassuring them for what had to be the tenth time that it was not their fault, that the demon who had shot him was being dealt with, and that all that mattered was the fact that they had kept Shen Yuan alive until Mu Qingfang was able to return in time from transporting the civilians.

Ci Liang agreed, reassuring them as she turned to the older brothers and told them she would take Shen Yuan herself back to Qian Cao to be checked on by the peak lord and their shizun. Shen Qingqiu and Yue Qingyuan had agreed, kissing Shen Yuan on the head only once as Ci Liang sped off on her sword, and Song Rong and Xia Cheng alerted them that they would calm down Xiao Yingzi, who had been rampaging for hours now since Shen Yuan had been hurt and taken from him, so they could return him to Cang Qiong.

It had been instantaneous when he stormed out of the infirmary, Yue Qingyuan hot on his heels as he demanded either the person or the corpse that had shot him be brought to him immediately. It surprised him immensely when it had been Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe who dragged the battered and nearly dead demon to him. Expressions steeled and...murderous as they dropped the demon at his feet, almost...reluctantly.

If he saw the black blood on both of their hands, if he saw the stains on their clothes that were too fresh to be from the battle they faced, then he said nothing. If this was the man who had nearly taken his A-Yuan from him, he would happily allow the entirety of Cang Qiong to have a go at him.

After he had his turn, of course.

He hadn't asked a single question, nor had Yue Qingyuan. They erected their tent, and Shen Qingqiu struck the first blow. The demon already had several broken bones, and his face was so bloody that one couldn't determine if his skin was tan or black. But the moment he dared to even hiss at Shen Qingqiu, he had been knocked damn near unconscious by the heavy hilt of Xuan Su, and then tied up thoroughly by the Qiong Ding Head Disciple, all the while the man smiled as kindly as always, even having the will to ask if the immortal binding cables were tight enough.

It was simple enough for Yaitng to figure out just which one of the men in front of him he had to be wary of. True, Shen Qingqiu would likely happily turn him into a living corpse, but Yue Qingyuan...the future sect leader of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect...

No, he would do something far worse. He just wasn't sure what.

Shen Qingqiu sighed at the question; they truly should question him, but he wasn't entirely satisfied. Not even when he had struck hard enough to see that the demon's jaw had likely fractured upon impact. "Very well...Does Qi-ge wish to ask any questions?"

Yue Qingyuan smiled, pressing another thankful kiss to Shen Qingqiu's knuckles before tucking the hand into his own as he stepped forward, all the while smiling that same worn-down and political expression of a compassionate leader.

When the demon didn't look at him, only spitting out a tooth as he sneered at the ground, Yue Qingyuan hummed softly. "Ah, yes, I'm sorry, it must be hard for you." He let go of Shen Qingqiu's hand and reached down, grabbing the demon by his hair and raising him off his knees by his scalp. "Allow this humble one to help you."

The chair in the corner of the room crumbled upon the impact of that body crashing into it. The demon groaned and futilely tried to push himself out of the wreckage, but Yue Qingyuan laughed heartily again, "Ah! Forgive this one, I forgot just how...dense people like you can be." The demon was yanked through the splitters and shattered pieces by his ankle, only to be raised nearly entirely off the ground by his leg, his head hitting the ground with a heavy thunk.

"Is this better?" Yue Qingyuan smiled down at him. If one were to only look at this man, they would see a handsome and broad cultivator. One that had such a welcoming expression and passive aura that it would be impossible to not be attracted to such a warm and seemingly compassionate person. But as of that moment, with the same expression he always wore painting that handsome face of his, Yating could only realize belatedly that such a political expression was nothing more than a mask.

One to hide the true monster within.

Laughing wetly, he coughed and barely tilted his head to look the man in the eyes to say, "Wh-. Who knew?! That the future sect leader of–. Cang Qiong Mountain would be no more than a monster himself!" He laughed like a dying madman because truly, that's all he was. It was by his heritage alone that he survived the beating those two brutes gave him once they caught him, but now...he knew his end was coming. But he saw no reason to hide his glee at his realization and beg for mercy. "What a surprise! Even...Even from my perspective that...that little one I met, wa–. Was such a naive little thing! Who knew his big brothers would be–."

A heavy boot collided with his face, and this time, his jaw surely shattered, and even swallowing the blood in his mouth became agonizing. Yue Qingyuan dropped him again, chuckling softly—darkly—as he crossed his arms behind his back. "I ask that you please refrain from speaking of my A-Yuan." Yating choked from the sudden grab around his throat, the force near the point of crushing. Tied up and unable to defend himself, the demon could only choke around the blood in his mouth and the near-damning hold of the Qiong Ding Head Disciple. "Though I have to admit you are right..."

Yating gasped and coughed once he was let go, left to kneel before that imposing figure as he glared through the tears that had involuntarily formed in his eyes, giving him a blurry picture of the frighteningly smiling Yue Qingyuan, and the almost...proud expression of Shen Qingqiu. A pair of monsters, it seemed, how baffling that it seemed it was only the little brother who appeared to be so innocent.

The tip of Xuan Su's scabbard tilted his head up, even from within the scabbard, the power of the blade was painfully clear, and just as anyone would be, Yating could feel what remained of his life slowly slipping from his grasp. "Our A-Yuan is rather naive and innocent."

He couldn't help but laugh. How befitting that the innocent kitten would be raised by the war-worn and bloody fox and lion, it was almost too good to pass up the chance to prod and poke further at this realization. How befitting that the little kitten would be the only calling card that could invoke such a bloodthirsty reaction from these two.

Already a man on death row, he decided to have a bit of fun with his final moments. "How true...a pity really. He was rather impressive as well; he figured me out rather quickly, too. If only he hadn't gotten in the way, I would have loved to see how I could have...used him."

The blow that struck this time was of no surprise, and it was even less so when he felt his collarbone practically shatter upon the impact of those heavy boots. "Say it again." Yue Qingyuan's tone lost any composure he once possessed. The deafening and bone-chilling aura of a murderer suddenly scented the room with the heavy promise of a hurricane, and Yating quickly realized that even while this man always wore a compassionate smile, that could still leave someone shivering from fright. His scowl was far worse. "Say again how you would have used him. Tell us again what you would have done."

He was not held in another death grip, merely left to look up at this man who stood over him like a predator over the intruder of his pack, and that was enough to choke him. When the demon did not answer him, a terrifying glint flowed into Yue Qingyuan's eyes.

He was not a good person.

He had come to this realization long ago.

From the day he raced to the Qiu manor, only to find it burned down and with the gossip that everyone who had lived there had perished aside from the young mistress and a few of her servants, and from there he dug through the ashes and rubble to even find a bone, something, that could at least show him that his Xiao-Jiu and A-Yuan had been there, and until a few men of that town had come to stop him, only to meet the ash stained fists of a young man who had lost everything and had nothing more left to lose.

From the moment he saw Xiao-Jiu at the immortal alliance conference, and said nothing of the man he had been with, or what he had done to him to get rid of him so his Xiao-Jiu could join Cang Qiong with no trouble.

From that instant, he silenced anyone and everyone by any means necessary who had something to say about his Xiao-Jiu. Bitter and jealous of his soulmate's intelligence and skill that came so naturally, it practically radiated a heavenly silver hue around him.

From the second his Xiao-Jiu slammed that letter into his chest, leaving before he could ask, and left only to read the slightly messy but oh-so-beautiful handwriting of a little boy he thought to be long since lost. The handwriting that reminded him so much of his Xiao-Jiu, yet with the slightest tilt to it, just as his own handwriting. He still kept that letter tucked safely in a chest, preserved and stored for any day he may need to remind himself of the blessings the heavens had decided to give to someone as undeserving as him.

From the moment he saw Bai Daiyu, screaming and fighting with all of her strength against Cheng Qiang. When he learned of just who had made his A-Yuan suffer so greatly, the person who had abused him, left him to believe that his worth only came from what he could do for others, left him to believe that any form of abuse he suffered from was by his fault and not the fault of others, and the one who had left him blind, trapped in a dirty and stingy old cellar to die.

He had killed before; the blood on his hands was not of just one person. But he didn't mind adding another; he would happily allow that tainted person's blood to stain his hands if it served as a reminder to himself and others that those who dared to step out of line would suffer consequences far too great to be repaid more than once.

His Xiao-Jiu and his A-Yuan did not need that kind of blood on their hands. He knew that his Xiao-Jiu had killed before, but it meant nothing to him. All out of necessity. But his A-Yuan, that sweet and innocent little boy of his, who looked six parts like Shen Qingqiu and four parts like him, the embodiment of the best parts of himself and the best parts of his Xiao-Jiu...he needed to stay clean. He should stay innocent.

There was no price Yue Qingyuan would not pay.

What hadn't he paid already?

What price would be too much if it meant his A-Yuan, his baby—the baby he and his Xiao-Jiu had raised from the moment of infancy until the world, too dark and too cruel, separated them—would be protected? What price could be too heavy for his shoulders if it meant that his A-Yuan's smile would not be tainted? If it meant that whenever that sweet little boy walked this earth, he could smile. He could greet anyone he so pleased with a smile, and whenever he felt his brother's hand hold his, whenever he heard Yue Qingyuan's voice, he could feel safe.

No. No, Yue Qingyuan was not a good person.

But in truth, who in this world was entirely good?

The smile that broke across his face was not one he normally wore. It was the mask dropping. It was the glass shattering. It was the curtains finally unveiling the true man beneath the impassive and compassionate exterior of Yue Qingyuan. The noble and righteous future sect leader of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, whom anyone could go to with a problem, and would be more than happy to help in any way he could.

No.

This was Yue Qi. Yue Qi, the street rat. Yue Qi: the boy with nothing. The boy with not a cent to his name, no power, no home, no food, and nowhere to go. This was the boy who had been cornered time and time again, left to defend himself from the moment his parents abandoned him on that street corner as a four-year-old with nothing but the clothes on his back.

This was the boy who found Shen Jiu, battered and bruised, and abandoned. Just like him. This was the boy who clung onto anything good he could find, and would rather die than let go. This was the boy who obsessed over anything that wouldn't leave him. Whether it be his clothes, a ratty old blanket, or the prickly boy he adored and beloved, whom he called Xiao-Jiu.

This was the boy who awakened in that small town near the corner of the woods with his Xiao-Jiu in his arms, startled by the small cries of the baby at their feet. The baby with his Xiao-Jiu's eyes and his nose. The baby who whimpered and fell silent when one of them held him. The baby they named Shen Yuan. The baby who grew like a blooming flower into a little boy who held their hands, and smiled and giggled at them.

This was Yue Qi, the young man who found himself just staring at the little boy curled up against him, entirely trusting and adoring. Oblivious to the things he had done, forgiving of the way he grasped him so tightly that none of the other kids dared to come closer, and the little boy he had raised who looked at him with the intelligent gaze of his Xiao-Jiu but smiled at him with the warmth that he knew himself to possess.

This was Yue Qi: possessive, obsessive, and perhaps even a little controlling when he allowed himself to be. This was a young man who had fought for everything he had, who loved so irreversibly that those who came into his heart could never leave, and the young man who had seen so much death in just his lifetime alone that not even the stench of corpses fazed him.

The demon froze at the smile that spread across his face, flashing teeth, and awakening a distant yet prominent part of Yue Qingyuan's soul. "I see," he lulled, almost humming happily, as if this were nothing more than a game. As if he were nothing more than that young boy again, finding the stray dog who had bitten his A-Yuan's hand and tried to bite his Xiao-Jiu's ankles, and decidedly chose to make sure that he would never see his Xiao-Jiu worry over their A-Yuan's tears ever again. "Well then, I suppose there is nothing left to it."

For a fleeting moment, the demon felt a futile glimmer of opportunity, only for it to be snuffed out just as quickly as it came as the bindings around his entire body began to tighten, crushing him slowly.

Of course, to hear something die so slowly would surely be annoying. So, Yue Qingyuan surged forward and clamped his hand over the demon's mouth to silence him. "Please don't make me pull out your tongue, I would have liked to ask you some questions. But I'm afraid there is a lesson to be learned here, and you will be of no help to us afterward."

The bindings tightened and tightened, crushing the bones slowly, piercing his organs with the shatters and remains of his skeletal system, and Yue Qingyuan only watched with an indifferent expression as the screams muffled behind his hand slowly began to die out as the lungs were pierced by the bones and warm fresh blood began to seep through the cracks of his fingers.

Of the fury and pain in the demon's eyes, Yue Qingyuan could also see shock. He was not Yue Qi anymore, no matter how he resembled him. He had grown and matured, and he knew better than to leave a person's question unanswered. It was just plain rude, and what example would he set for his Didi if he acted without his manners?

"Right, forgive this one for forgetting to explain. You see," he squinted his eyes, and the bindings ceased their clamping, and the ragged breathing behind his hand gave way to pained sobs. "Immortal binding cables are meant to suppress demonic and spiritual energy alike. For someone to control them, it's almost impossible, since the cables would just deny the energy. Which is why they are normally used by hand instead...but, if you know how to work things through easily enough, then you can control them just as you would a sword."

Of course, it took an insane amount of energy, a level of precision not normally found, and the iron will of the user to not be denied by something objectively designed to limit anything that came in contact with it. But as anyone should know, Yue Qingyuan was no weak man, and he was nothing if not a creature of determination.

To display his explanation, Yue Qingyuan squinted his eyes again, and the cables only began to tighten again, giving way to the muffled screams behind his hand. "Now, now, I hated having to resort to this, but...I truly can't forgive what you have done, or what you have said."

Growing bored with such a person, Yue Qingyuan turned his head to his Xiao-Jiu. Expression softening and melting from that icy smile to the warmth of his heart that was reserved for those few. Shen Qingqiu long since knew of his tendencies, of the viscousness hidden within his soul, of the possessiveness hidden behind warm embraces and a helpful hand. But he loved it just as much as Yue Qingyuan seemed to despise it.

He loved it when he saw that mask crack and give way to the true person behind it. He loved it when he saw the possessiveness spark to life in Yue Qingyuan's eyes. When that normally selfless and composed person was left with nothing more than his baser instincts. When all he searched for and desired was what he knew he could have, and when he was willing to forget every social norm, every rule ever imposed upon him, and every liberty he would normally take to keep the peace in favor of taking what was his at that very moment with no hesitation.

He needed no one to protect him, but that didn't mean he didn't enjoy seeing the protectiveness his Qi-ge had for their little family. The willingness and desire to keep those he loved safe, and the fact that those he wanted to protect were no more than Shen Qingqiu and Shen Yuan. Shen Qingqiu was a possessive man. He didn't enjoy sharing. He didn't always like the fact that his Qi-ge and A-Yuan were routinely away from him.

But he thrived in the knowledge that just like him, they all were just as protective and demanding as he.

Perhaps others couldn't see it, hell, maybe even Shen Yuan himself wasn't aware. But Shen Qingqiu knew; he knew of his baby brother's tendencies. He knew that the little boy he raised had a possessive streak. That he wanted nothing he wasn't entirely sure he couldn't have in its entirety. That he didn't love openly as others easily assumed, but instead took whatever was given with a critical eye.

He first realized this when he met that beast of his, Xiao Yingzi.

At first glance, it would seem the possessive one was no other than that horse of his, but in truth, it was both of them. While Shen Yuan's possessiveness ran quietly and hidden from prying eyes, behind objectively being a pushover to anything that horse did. Forgiving it and enabling aggressive behavior toward anyone else aside from him, not even attempting to try and correct it for the safety of himself, at the very least, just as someone else most likely would have, and the stickiness they had for each other.

At first, Shen Qingqiu saw it as a little ridiculous. That his baby brother was possessive in such a simple yet effective way toward a horse. But then he realized it was not just the horse that he was overly forgiving with. He knew himself, he knew he was not a particularly kind person, and that he likely treated others with less than he should, no matter how he truly felt about that person.

Just the same, he knew his baby brother was not as blind as others assumed. He knew that his A-Yuan could read someone with only a single conversation; he knew that his baby brother knew of his nature, just the same as he knew at least a little of Yue Qingyuan's. But despite how others naturally would have tried to call them out openly and without hesitation, Shen Yuan was overly forgiving.

He forgave them easily, ready to push it all aside in only a heartbeat with perhaps only a small conversation beforehand with the reasoning as to why Shen Qingqiu or Yue Qingyuan should perhaps exhibit a bit more gentleness or benevolence for the sake of others, all the while he pouted and smiled sweetly, entirely knowing of the guilt-tripping he was doing.

Yes, his A-Yuan was possessive. Though his possessiveness was not like theirs. His possessiveness was almost childlike, patient, and lenient, waiting only for something he was entirely sure he could have before hanging on with gentle hands and a hopeful expression. He would not fight anyone he latched onto; he would not purposefully aggravate them or start a fight, just the same as he would not stop them from leaving him, even if it meant that his heart would be left bruised and battered and aching.

His A-Yuan was naive and gentle, protective and hopeful. He was possessive out of necessity. A fear that anything he had would leave him, that he would be abandoned and forgotten. Of course, he had no reason to fear such a thing with his big brothers. But Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu were not good people; they knew this, and so, could it be a surprise that they did nothing to try and smooth out their baby brother's possessive tendencies?

Shen Qingqiu couldn't help but smile back at Yue Qingyuan, finding his heart calming at the sight of justice being laid out so plainly before him at the hands of the man who he knew adored him and just the same loved their baby brother with the same viciousness he did.

Forgetting the demon behind him, Yue Qingyuan stepped away from him, his qi still fighting the cables to crush the demon slowly as he hugged his Xiao-Jiu reassuringly, knowing that the gentle hits against his head from that beautiful fan he gifted the Qing Jing Peak Head Disciple himself was nothing more than a facade to keep up a haughty image and not a call for him to let go.

"Did Xiao-Jiu wish to ask him anything else?" Yue Qingyuan's tone returned to a calm and gentle lull, ready to please any request that was asked of him. "If not..." It was a hope that he had nothing left to say. Personally, Yue Qingyuan would put his wants aside until everything else was finished, and even though he wanted nothing more than to see this demon die by a slow and painful death, he was willing to end it all if his Xiao-Jiu so requested it.

"He is an attacker of Cang Qiong, he hurt many, and he is responsible for several deaths in this city..." He ran his tongue along his teeth, snagging the sharp point of his canines as he murmured, "He left our A-Yuan fighting for his life...what is the point in keeping him alive? We know everything about the poison that there is to know, and what reason have we to know why he aimed for our brother? He's better off dead."

Yue Qingyuan smiled at that, eyes traveling slowly to the mangle demon whose breathing was growing so labored that it was almost comical. However, before he could enact the final strike, two people entered the tent. Still covered in the filth of battle with twin expressions of barely consolable rage.

"He's still alive?" Luo Binghe sneered, nose scrunching up in disdain at the sight of the living corpse. The last thing he had wanted to do was hand over the bastard to Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu; he wanted to kill him himself, but it seemed that perhaps he still had a chance.

Shen Qingqiu immediately sneered once they entered, the calm of only Yue Qingyuan's presence being snuffed out by the terrible scent of battle and the muddled scents of the young men, both who had gone too long without a proper bath, and so, their scents were in no way controlled or suppressed by the specific soaps that every disciple of Cang Qiong was ordered to use to control their scents.

"Not for long," Liu Qingge answered him. Even if Yue Qingyuan didn't enact the final blow, there was no way for this demon to survive the torture he had endured for much longer without severe medical attention.

At the sight of the two young men who had beaten him bloody long before Shen Qingqiu or Yue Qingyuan got their claws on him, he couldn't help but laugh madly.

"F-Fools! All of you! Hahahaha!"

Shen Qingqiu stomped over, kicking the desperate creature in the chest, sending him flying and skidding against the ground with desperate wheezes for air. "Shut up! Or I'll cut out your tongue and let you die slowly!"

Yating only laughed harder, despite his lack of air, he said with all of his strength. "Why would I aim for him!? Haha...Shen...Shen Qingqiu! Th-. That brother of yours was no more a threat than he was a nuisance! I-...I aimed for who I knew was the real threat! Not...Not just to me! But to all of you as well! He jumped in front! Poor...The poor thing wanted to protect them, didn't he?! Haha!!"

Before Shen Qingqiu could yell at him more, Yue Qingyuan lost his smile and sneered as he asked, "What are you going on about?" Giving the man the chance to speak, he loosened the cables around him, letting the demon breathe a little easier now that the bones were being pushed deeper into his lungs.

"Haha...Yue Qing-...Yue Qingyuan! Ask yourself something! Wh-. Why would I kill him for no reason? That...That brother of yours...you're right...too naive and innocent right?! Haha!! He was! He was! Took an arrow near to the heart for someone he should have wanted dead! Haha! He was too naive to see who the real monster was!!" His maddened screeching was like nails against a chalkboard; it made everyone cringe. However, Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu specifically didn't know who their brother had jumped in front of to take the arrow for, but Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge both couldn't help but stare in both fury and shock.

"Shut up you piece of shit!" Luo Binghe roared, furious and exhausted. He tried to stomp forward, but Liu Qingge held him back. He didn't care about the arm across his chest, but the words this bastard was screeching like a dying bird...

He would kill him for it! He would see to it that he burned in the eternal hells!

Shen Yuan...Shen Yuan jumped in front of him, not to save him but to...to...he couldn't have known it was him! Even if it was to protect someone...he wouldn't go to such extremes to protect him!

The demon saw the near-crazed gaze of the young man, and he could only laugh harder, coughing up mouthful after mouthful of blood. "Haha...t-tell me, was he a good friend? If only he knew what the truth was! Even if he could sense people...even if he could sense the person he saved! Do-. Do you think he would regret it, little prince!?"

Luo Binghe shouted in a delirious rage, the more that the demon screeched. Shen Yuan could sense people. He knew this, he knew that if the Ling Shou disciple knew a person well enough, he could depict their energy specifically, but...but he still couldn't have...why!? Why would he jump in front like that!? What was he thinking!?

"If only...If only he knew it would be you! Haha! You'd kill him yourself–. Wouldn't you!?" Yating took a final pleasure was witnessing this hidden person drive himself delirious with rage and confusion, refusing to believe the simple truth.

Shen Yuan had jumped in front of him, and he saved him, whether on accident or with a purpose, but in the end, one could only wonder if he should have. If he should have put his life on the line so willingly? If in the end...it would all come back to bite him?

Liu Qingge drew Chen Luan, growling as he yelled. "I'll kill you here and now! Shut up! Are you so worthless that in your final moments, you're trying to spread lies about my Shidi!? Pathetic!"

At Liu Qingge's involvement, Luo Binghe backed away, still driven to his brink by his fury. But upon seeing Yue Qingyuan snap out of the shocked stupor he had been in to join Liu Qingge, he made no move toward them again.

"Thank you, Liu-shidi," Yue Qingyuan patted him on the shoulder to dismiss him, expression cold and withdrawn. "It is within a demon's nature to try and sow dissent, we must remain vigilant and prepared for things such as this. Demons cannot be trusted."

"Of course, Yue-shixiong." Liu Qingge agreed immediately, glaring down at the pathetic husk of a demon at his feet.

"Yes," Shen Qingqiu mumbled in agreement, eyeing the young man who had reacted with such volatility. The demon's final words rang clear in his mind, the truth he spoke of...what did it have to do with this Luo-shidi of his? And why was it that the more he looked at him, it only seemed that those black, starry night eyes seemed to take on a crimson hue, and even the tips of his ears almost looked...pointed. "They cannot be trusted."

Luo Binghe said nothing else, head bowed as he clenched his fists. His head was pounding, he wanted to hurt something, he needed to hurt something. Everything...Everything was becoming too much.

Yue Qingyuan took a single look at his Shidi and immediately felt a sense of sympathy and pity. He knew that his Didi wasn't amazing friends with these two Bai Zhan Peak disciples and that they argued more often than not, but he also knew that Bai Zhan ran on a deep sense of loyalty and justice. So to be shown such a show of selflessness from Shen Yuan without the means to pay it back tenfold, just as they were trained to would undoubtedly leave both of them furious and upset.

Also, he saw the state of both of them, battered and bruised, left in nothing but the stained and ruined robes from their battle. They both were in desperate need of a bath and medical attention. "Liu-shidi, Luo-shidi, you both should go see Qian Cao to get your wounds tended to before heading to the baths. The procession will not leave for another day to return to Cang Qiong; you both should rest after such a long battle."

Without the will to argue with their Shixiong, Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge left with no words of protest or even hesitant expressions, both more than ready to leave.

They were not as injured as they seemed, with only a few gashes and bruises where they were due from their battle. Qian Cao was a bit overwhelmed at the moment, many of its disciples having been injured, if not nearly killed themselves from their efforts last night in defending the civilians and offering aid on the battlefield at the expense of their own safety and lives. So, Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge both did not wait to leave for the bathhouse, even though they hadn't been cleared to leave by Mu Qingfang himself.

They didn't even notice that they were entering the same place until they both entered the water, soap, and fragrance bars in hand as they left their ruined clothes in a burn pile where the rest of the disciples from the battle left theirs to be dealt with and burned.

Even when they snapped out of their stupor to notice each other, they only shared a glance before looking away and going to their respective sides. Bai Zhan Peak had a communal bathhouse, it was natural that most of its disciples bathed together, seeing as the peak consisted primarily of alphas or male betas, so this was obviously not the first time they had shared the same bath water, but this was the first time they were alone in doing so.

They both made a point of keeping their backs to each other, neither making a sound as they made quick work of cleaning themselves off, washing their hair, and ridding themselves of the gunk that stuck to them.

Liu Qingge particularly felt...numb at the moment. That moment before Song Rong had taken Shen Yuan from him, he had felt the rise and fall of his chest weaken, those...desperate pleas to just say goodbye, even though he didn't want to die, but was willing to, as long as he could say goodbye...

It would haunt him more than the last words he had heard in his past life, along with that eerie song.

"...live well, both of you..."

He shuddered at the thought.

His head had been aching ever since, and when Luo Binghe and he both had found that deplorable piece of shit trying to make a run for it once the Emerald-Tongue Wolf Bison began to leave now that the rest of his comrades were dead, it had been by a miracle of sheer will that Liu Qingge didn't cut off his head the second he saw him.

It felt good to slowly beat the life out of the person responsible. He didn't blame Luo Binghe, not in the same way he was sure others might have. He knew that Shen Yuan saved him, too; that arrow he caught in his hand would have shot him straight through the eye. He couldn't blame Luo Binghe for Shen Yuan's poor self-preservation choices, even when it came to saving the life of someone else.

Even when that demon had started spewing off at the mouth, he knew damn well what he was talking about. He knew that the demon was trying to reveal Luo Binghe as a heavenly demon, that the bastard likely figured it out and wanted to drag someone down with him, especially if that person was already someone who could be irresponsibly blamed for the state Shen Yuan was in at the moment.

Bai Zhan Peak ran on a deep sense of loyalty and justice. He may harbor no sympathy or care for Luo Binghe, he may still be wary of him, and he would never forget what he had done in his past life. But he knew that this was a different time. He knew that to blame the Luo Binghe of now for sins he had yet to commit and had so far shown no signs of ever coming close to again would be idiotic and inhumane, and he'd likely be contributing to the likelihood of such a thing happening again rather than preventing it.

He was a loyal person; he protected his own and those who could not protect themselves. So, if his threat against the demon's life had been both for the vengeance of Shen Yuan and to keep him from spilling the truth about Luo Binghe, then no one needed to know.

Even now, in the dreadful silence they were stuck in, he didn't have any regrets about stepping in to shut that demon up. He could only be relieved that Yue Qingyuan had taken a stance as well to defend them, rather than play into what that demon wanted.

That is to say, if Liu Qingge truly gave a damn.

He just didn't want Luo Binghe to turn out the same way he did before. It was already strange enough to just have him as his Shidi rather than his Shizi; he didn't need anything else being added on top of that. It was already enough that he now knew the origin of one of Shen Yuan's poisonous scars from the past life.

He had seen it only for a moment, where Shen Yuan's clothes had been torn when Song Rong set to work on the wound before Mu Qingfang got there, it looked the same as his vivid memories. Black and cracking like glass as it spread, killing the skin where it was sourced and turning grey. It was a terrible thing to see now, now that he knew what had been one of the things to infect Shen Tianyan in the past life, and he remembered vividly the only way he could have been infected with it in the first place.

The invasion by those demons, he remembered bits a pieces. He had a clear image of Shen Tianyan's face in the Lingxi Caves, him speaking to him, the feeling of warm yet weaker qi than his own threading its way through his meridians to snuff out the qi deviation he was experiencing, even after Liu Qingge lunged at him and dealt him a few good blows that he normally would have never even targetted at Shen Tianyan. He likely was the only reason he survived that qi deviation, and he didn't even say a single word after the fact before he vanished, and he only remembered seeing him again briefly as the demons were retreating, and just the same, Shen Tianyan vanished quickly in the direction of Qing Jing.

Clutching his abdomen.

He was foolish back then, for never noticing, for never questioning his behavior, for never checking on him.

That was the vow he made as the Peak Lord of Bai Zhan Peak: protect those weaker than himself, involve himself where it was needed, and remain noble and righteous. Even now, now that it was over and done with, even though he could not go back and change it all, he couldn't help but feel a sense of dread and guilt over having failed the vows he made.

Having failed the person who never once failed him.

It was a terrible feeling, a sense of failure and worthlessness.

He had sworn to do better in this life, to make sure something like this would never happen again.

But it seemed fate truly hated his resolve and the vows he made.

"...Shixiong."

Liu Qingge turned around at the address. He hadn't realized he was being spoken to; however, the moment he turned around, his eyes nearly bulged out of his head at the sight before him.

Luo Binghe had hit several growth spurts in Bai Zhan, being fed properly and given the diet of a warrior meant to be big and strong, he had flourished under such treatment. He had grown taller, broadened out, and sculpted himself into a promising young cultivator.

Liu Qingge never made a point of caring about it, only realizing these facts when Luo Binghe audaciously would point them out by trying to size him up over the fact that he was barely an inch taller than him. Which meant nothing since Liu Qingge knew himself, and knew he would grow taller and broader still.

Only now, he had no choice but to notice. Their height was nearly identical, it was impossible not to look at him, impossible not to notice the shapely point of his jawline, the broad muscles of his shoulders, but worst of all...the one thing Liu Qingge noticed most of all...the soulmark that took up the entirely of his left pec, just the same as it did for Liu Qingge.

Yes, they had shared bath water together. But that was rare even in itself, and it was while being surrounded by the rest of their peak siblings, barely able to catch a glimpse of each other. Not that they were even looking! There was no way, until now, that either could have seen the mark on the other Alpha's chest.

Luo Binghe had been calling out for Liu Qingge because they had been in the bath for over an hour. Both were lost in their own thoughts and oblivious to the time they had wasted. Luo Binghe personally had been trying to make sense of Shen Yuan's actions, and now that he had enough sense to understand what happened, he could rethink his past life and truly pinpoint just when Shen Tianyan had been poisoned back then as well.

It killed a part of himself once he pinpointed the exact time frame he remembered his old Shifu had begun to act strange, unable to practice with him as much, growing tired and weaker day by day, not that Luo Binghe had noticed at the time back then, too busy being trained by Meng Mo during the night to take stock of the way his Shifu was growing weaker and weaker by the day. Unable to stand up against Shen Qingqiu as much, unable to bring him himself to eat, and constantly being bothered by that Shang Qinghua.

After the demon invasion from Sha Hualing.

His Shifu had shoved him out of the way back then, taking the pain for him too, and never once saying a word about it.

It made a part of him angry. Angry over the fact that he knew that Shen Tianyan never went to Qian Cao for help, and likely only ever told that Shang Qinghua. But it also made a part of him...upset, over the fact that his Shifu never at least told him, his only personal disciple, the young man he had living directly at his side. Never once even asked for some kind of help. To draw his bath water for him, something, he could have asked him for anything.

He couldn't help but dread over the idea that Shen Yuan likely would have done the same in this life if he had been given the chance. That he would have hidden his sacrifice from Luo Binghe again.

When he realized he had been dwelling on those thoughts for too long, he realized they had also been in the bathhouse, just standing in the water for over an hour, and they likely needed to head back to their peak siblings to help with whatever was left.

However, when Liu Qingge didn't answer him at first, he turned around and waded a little closer, calling for him again. It was only on the third step and the third call that Liu Qinnge seemed to hear him, finally turning around to face him, only to go wide-eyed once he saw the top half of Luo Binghe's naked form.

At first, he didn't understand Liu Qingge's reaction. He did realize that they had technically shared a bath before, right? Granted, it was with the rest of their peak siblings and in separate pools of the hot spring, but still, there was no need for such a reaction over seeing another naked man!

That is, until his eyes traveled down the muscular form of his Shixiong and landed on the soulmark on his left pec. Oh shit...Luo Binghe cursed to himself as he looked up again at his Shixiong, only to see that Liu Qingge's face had gone to a new shade of pale.

He had known of their status as soulmates; it was of no surprise to him, but it was only then that he realized that Liu Qingge hadn't known, and now...

"Shixiong–."

"No." Liu Qingge turned away from him, climbing out of the water right in front of him and grabbing his towel and his fresh clothes.

No!? The fuck are you saying no to! You can't exactly deny this! Or me! Luo Binghe felt a little offended. Yes, he didn't like Liu Qingge just as much as the future war god didn't like him, but was he really going to just say no and ignore this!? At least Luo Binghe fucking accepted it like a man and took it for what it was while also ignoring it for this long!

"Qingge!" Forgetting normal etiquette, he climbed out of the water after him, grabbing his towel and fresh clothes as he tried to dry and clothe himself as quickly as Liu Qingge was. Was the guy even drying himself off before putting on his clothes!? Ugh! Wet skin against dry clothes felt disgusting! What the hell was wrong with him!?

"Don't!" Liu Qingge didn't even turn to face him; now fully clothed, he was only barely trying to dry his hair before putting it up in a messy ponytail. Though from behind the long and drenched locks of raven hair, Luo Binghe could see the red tint of his ears. "We will discuss this later!"

Only with his trousers on, still wet from the waist up, and cringing at the fact his ankles were soaking the rims of his trousers, Luo Binghe muttered a little bitterly, "And when is later again, Qingge?"

Liu Qingge snapped his head at him at the informal address, glaring as he forced out, "When we return to Bai Zhan, Shidi." The address was practically spat out like venom as Liu Qingge turned away from him once again and left without another word, and Luo Binghe couldn't help but sneer in indignant fury over his Shixiong's reaction.

He didn't like Liu Qingge, and he knew for a fact Liu Qingge didn't like him. He enjoyed screwing with his Shixiong, annoying him, and pissing him off, and he knew that his Shixiong enjoyed beating him up when they sparred, but that was it. He held no compassion or care for the future war god, but even still, Liu Qingge just had to outright deny and reject him like that?

It made a part of himself that he had long since killed off ache. That lonely little boy on the streets who ached and prayed for someone to love him. That little boy who was abandoned as a babe, taken in by the only person to ever love him truly, and then abandoned by her too when he couldn't return to her in time to say goodbye.

It made that little part of him ache all over again. That little part of him who stared at his soulmark in the mirror for so long, memorizing it, and smiling from ear to ear at the idea that he not only would have one person who would love him, but two. How lucky was he? What better mercy from the heavens than to give him two people who would love and adore him just the same as he would do for them?

And what a cruel fate that it turned out that both of those two people wanted nothing to do with him in both lives. How cruel a fate that his Shifu, whom he still couldn't understand, likely had known, and said nothing. Taking hit after hit, again and again, without a single word about it to someone else. Slowly killing himself in silence without a single word of explanation to anyone else. Dying a horrible and gruesome death that not even Luo Binghe would have dared to think of in the same light as his Shifu.

What a cruel fate that in the end, Luo Binghe lived while both of those people, who were supposed to love him as he would have them, died. What a cruel fate that in the end, he was told that his Shifu loved him, that in the end, he learned that he made his Shifu smile, it was just that his Shifu was too scared and too hurt to ever let anyone see.

What a cruel fate that Luo Binghe lived, unsure of what was reality and what was fantasy. What were the moments he made up in his own dreamscape to make sense of the reality he lived in, and what was the truth behind every action, what was the reason behind his Shifu's every look, every slight expression, and every moment where he spoke so softly that it was like a leaf on the wind, all because he couldn't speak? Because someone had taken that from him as well.

It made that little boy still inside him ache and hurt, too stubborn to actually cry. But it made him remember what had been said to him back then, and what had only just been said an hour ago.

The very words Shen Qingqiu had said to him back then that finally opened his eyes to the cruel nature of his Shizun and his true place in this world.

"A beast like you has no place here! You are nothing but a monster, cast out from the heavens! No disciple of mine, and no disciple of his."

And finally, now, here he was, hearing something so similar, yet directed at someone else, all with the same meaning.

"It is within a demon's nature to try and sow dissent, we must remain vigilant and prepared for things such as this. Demons cannot be trusted."

It all burned within his chest. It made every part of him ache and burn. He wanted to hurt something, he wanted to fight, and he wanted...he wanted...

He wanted to hear that it all wasn't true.

Back then...His Shifu had spoken his final words, finishing that final mercy of a song with only, "...live well, both of you..." Who else could he have been speaking of? What else could he have meant?

Surely, at the very least, his Shifu had to have cared about him somewhat back then, too? Even the slightest pity for him, knowing what would happen to him upon seeing both of his soulmates in such a horrific state.

It had to mean, even if only slightly, his Shifu cared about him, despite his tainted blood.

But now? Shen Yuan was not Shen Tianyan. They were not the same person; he knew this. Shen Yuan did not know all that Shen Tianyan did. He spoke more than Shen Tianyan, he smiled more, he told him when he was upset or tired, and he made it clear how he felt, which was one hundred times better than what Shen Tianyan ever did.

And yet...he still acted the same. He still put himself on the line, he still didn't care about himself as he should, he still...

He still had to care about Luo Binghe, even if only a little, right?

Chapter Text

"Little butterfly," something warm and slightly wet was pressed against his head. A cloth, it was a warm cloth. He could feel a few droplets of water run down his face. His skin felt too tight; as if someone had left him in the sun to dry for too long. "Can my little butterfly open his eyes for his Jiejie?"

Jiejie? Jiejie was here? Oh, wait...wait, why was she here!? He made sure her home was safe! Even his brothers promised that where she lived now was a safe place and she would have no trouble at the academy she taught at either! How...

How could she die too!?

Eyes flying open, Shen Yuan abruptly sat up, shouting, "Jiejie!" His hands flew out, and he was immediately met with Bai Daiyu's gentle hands cupping his face, silencing him as she hugged him.

"Darling, darling, easy. Be easy with yourself, you went through quite a lot." Bai Daiyu cooed to him, soothing him as he latched onto her and began to mumble and shake.

"No...No...why are you here too? Ho–. How did you die, too?" Shen Yuan whimpered helplessly. He had been so sure! He'd been so careful! But his Jiejie...she still...

"Die!?" Bai Daiyu yelped, pulling herself away from Shen Yuan only minutely to stare at the young man. Worry and sympathy overcame her heart at the sight of the solemn expression on his face. "Oh, no...Darling, no. We're alive, both you and I, we're very much alive."

Perking up at this, Shen Yuan grabbed her hand that still cupped his face and checked her pulse point on her wrist, sighing in relief when he found the steady beat. "Oh...Oh, this one is glad then that Jiejie is alright."

Bai Daiyu couldn't help but laugh softly, shaking her head gently as she murmured, "My little butterfly, what will I do with you? How could you assume both of us to be dead?"

"Well now, Daiyu, the assumption isn't that far off for him; he was close to it when we first got there." Ci Liang's voice suddenly emerged from the entrance of the room, and now that Shen Yuan was more awake, he could smell the scent of incense and the faint scent of dove trees and redwoods; a minty yet earthy scent with a subtle spicy undertone and only the barest twinge of sweetness.

They were in Ling Shou!

"Da-Shijie," Shen Yuan called out knowingly. He wasn't sure what was going on, but he was definitely back in Ling Shou, and that was more than enough for him to feel at ease.

Ci Liang saw the change in his demeanor and laughed as she reached out and ruffled his hair gently, saying, "Yuan-shidi gave everyone a bit of a scare. How do you feel?"

Shen Yuan shuffled about a bit on the bed he was on. He clearly wasn't in his room, he couldn't smell any of Xia Cheng's perfumes or the mint leaves he had growing on his windowsill. He was still sore, it felt like he'd been body slammed in the chest a few times by a truck, it hurt to breathe, and his throat was sore, but otherwise, he was as well as someone could be in his situation.

"This one is a bit sore, Da-Shijie, but...I'm alright." Shen Yuan murmured, a thousand questions running through his head as he felt Ci Liang pat his head gently.

"Good, you really did give us quite a scare. We brought you back once reinforcements arrived, and those Bai Zhan disciples...uh, Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge explained what happened and what you were infected with. You've been asleep for at least three days." Ci Liang explained as she sat at the foot of the bed next to Bai Daiyu, the woman nodding softly. Once she was sure Shen Yuan was fully awake and ready to listen, Ci Liang explained to him everything that had happened.

Bai Daiyu had been alerted once Shen Yuan returned with Ci Liang, and she had rushed to Qian Cao immediately, where the peak lords of both Ling Shou and Qian Cao had been looking over him, studying the poison within his body, and clearing all that they could of it.

She nearly had a heart attack the moment she saw him, skin pale enough to be considered snow, and with such a weak rise and fall of his chest, one could only assume from first glance that the poor boy on the bed had met his end and only needed then to be prepared for burial.

Thankfully, Ci Liang had been there to reassure her and calm her down before she could break down into a grieving cycle of misery. Since then, she stayed at Shen Yuan's bedside to ensure no complications. It was only that morning they brought him back to Ling Shou, leaving him in the peak lord's home for the rest of his recovery.

Hu Lieling's home was a spacious cottage, with a large garden attached with open spaces for beasts of all kinds to roam about freely. Shen Yuan had only entered once or twice on the off chance his shizun called him for something, but to wake up in the place? He wasn't that injured!

However, Hu Lieling insisted. The peak lord wanted to personally see the advancements of Shen Yuan's health after Shan Lielin had explained to her what Without-a-Cure would entail for her disciple's potential cultivation practices, and just how it was to be handled from then on out.

A few pills in the morning and at the very least a meridian cleansing once a month if not once every other week at the very least until his meridians were somewhat healed and not until Shan Lielin himself was entirely sure that any further practices wouldn't cause Shen Yuan any harm.

How tedious.

Shen Yuan grumbled to himself as he scoured his meridians. It was true, his meridians were practically shot, fractured, and in disarray; any sort of cultivation training would surely put him straight into a qi deviation if not shattering his spiritual core on the spot. It was rather annoying.

He understood the fact that when he had been poisoned in the past life, he had already been fully grown, having already reached Mid-Core Formation, there was no need for him to worry about such a poison, aside from having Shang Qinghua assist him in cleansing his spiritual veins whenever there was a clog. Yes, he lived life rather delicately, unable to do much with himself aside from bury himself in his books and scrolls, tending to his garden near his old little cottage, but what more could he selfishly ask for than that?

But now it was a true hindrance, and worst of all...everyone fucking knew about it!

That had always been his intention back then. Keep anyone and everyone possible out of it! His own brothers never even knew that he had suffered a blow at the hand of the invaders. He had pushed himself forward, forced it behind him, and lived on. Yes, it caused suffering and pain, but he knew well enough how to handle it that it wasn't damning.

But now...now he had no fucking choice! Everyone knew about it! And even worse, he already knew well enough that everyone who did know would likely treat him differently because of it. Which was something he never wanted!

Bai Daiyu could see the conflicting emotions on her little butterfly's face, and she immediately reached out to cup his face and soothe the crease in his brow with her thumb, calming him down as she said, "Little butterfly, what bothers you?"

"...It's all going to change now, isn't it?" Shen Yuan murmured bitterly, leaning into Bai Daiyu's hand regardless, but still grimacing all the same. "Now that everyone knows...It's all going to change, isn't it?"

Bai Daiyu didn't have a way to respond. She was no cultivator, she didn't know the inner workings of Cang Qiong or even Ling Shou, all she knew was that her little boy had been injured practically irreversibly, and the entirety of his peak and even others had all taken his injury rather harshly due to the fact it was incurable and a direct attack against Cang Qiong. And because of this, Shen Yuan was to be observed, and they were all to wait to see how he progressed from there.

His cultivation was damaged; he was weaker now as well, and there were even a few moments where it was assumed he would not wake up. How could things not change after such an ordeal?

But it seemed that such a fact was not one that Shen Yuan was favorable to.

However, before either she or Ci Liang could open their mouths to speak, three people entered the room, and Shen Yuan turned his head in their direction once he heard their footsteps approach the door.

"Good," A gentle, yet clawed hand took his jaw gently, gingerly moving his head about to inspect him as she hummed. "Your senses are still in good shape, how far away were we when you sensed us?"

"When you were right outside the door, Shizun." Shen Yuan answered simply, he himself just as relieved as she was that his senses hadn't seemed to be affected and putting them to use didn't seem to cause any problems.

"A bit of improvement is still needed, but that can always be handled after you are entirely healed." Hu Lieling hummed, walking around the bed to stand before her disciple as she smiled reassuringly at her eldest disciple and Bai Daiyu. "How does Shen Yuan feel now?"

Like I got hit by a truck.

"I feel alright, Shizun," Shen Yuan made sure to smile. He knew that he had long since lost his poker face, but he had also quickly learned that sometimes just smiling would save him. "This one is a little sore, but there is no pain."

Hu Lieling patted his cheek gently before pulling away, saying, "Does Shen Yuan understand some of the changes that must occur from here on out?"

He begrudgingly nodded, forcing out, "Yes, Shizun. This one is not to practice his cultivation until his meridians are fully healed and Without-a-Cure is manageable."

Hu Lieling sat at his side, soothing the crease in his brows with a gentle tap to his forehead, smiling when she saw the almost surprised expression on her little disciple's face. He was her youngest after all, and yet, she could never seem to truly pinpoint the extent of knowledge that was hidden behind those cloudy warm jade eyes.

"Do not feel discouraged, Shen Yuan." She rubbed the knuckle of her index finger beneath his right eye, soothing the dark circles there from the nights of restless sleep. "This will merely be a single block in your path. You will learn to overcome it and adapt, just as you have done before. You will have your Shixiong and Shijie to guide you, and you will not be alone in learning your way out of this. Do not lose faith."

Surprised, but also relieved, Shen Yuan couldn't help but smile at his Shizun's encouragement. Hu Lieling was a bit of a recluse. She didn't normally spend a lot of time outside of the peak unless she was on a mission that specifically called for her, and she normally left the training of her disciples in the hands of the hall masters or her eldest disciples, finding that the peer experience of training and learning together was far more beneficial than sitting down for a lecture from her.

That wasn't to say she didn't adore teaching them, watching as those little faces lit up in shock and awe from the amazing feats of skill they were being made to learn and soon cultivate themselves. It was always something that warmed her heart immensely as she watched them grow, but just the same, a complete and total heartbreak for her whenever one was to be injured or, even worse, killed.

Shen Yuan had been a special case for her ever since the beginning. She had no plans to take any disciples after Xie Hong, finding people of youth who could connect to nature on such an intimate level was nearly impossible without the chance to see them in action, but that was not something she could just ask of every child she came across, especially not during the annual disciple choosing.

But when Shan Lielin had asked for an audience with her, under the hope that she could help a poor little boy who had suffered so greatly and was now in his care, awaiting a peak lord to take him as a disciple, she had immediately felt a sense of urgency rise within her and had called for Ci Liang immediately.

Her senses never led her astray, and right she was to follow them. That small little boy hiding behind his big brothers, fearful to even step out from behind them...even from a distance, she could sense the beating heart of the world that resided within his little chest. A strong and almost sorrowful beat that called to her sensitive hearing like an army to the drums of war, and right she was to take him so readily. The progress he made, and the connections he held to the very earth, were more than she could have anticipated, but just as welcome and encouraged as she wanted.

Even now, even now that something as tragic as this had happened, this little disciple of hers held out strong. He did not break or falter; he did not crumble as some would have after being told that their chances of cultivation could potentially be all for nothing. No, he stood firm, he held a determined expression, and withheld the courage to continue to try, even if he might fail.

It was an incredibly admirable quality.

"You will be allowed to return to the dormitories and your lessons as usual, but until Shan Lielin has given his approval, there will be no strenuous training of any kind, and absolutely no traveling to Bai Zhan Peak for sword training." Hu Lieling ordered with a heavy finality that left nothing else to be said and much less argued with.

Everyone in the room nodded, understandingly. However, Shen Qingqiu was the first to speak up once he cleared his throat. "Hu-shishu, may we have a moment alone with our brother?" Hu Lieling turned her head to him, eyeing him for a moment as her gaze jumped to Ci Liang: who looked a bit apprehensive.

Humming softly, she quickly stole a glance at Shen Yuan, finding that the young man didn't seem apprehensive, she nodded. "Very well, we will leave." She motioned for the others to follow her, however, when Bai Daiyu hesitated, she looked over her shoulder as she said, "Madam Bai?"

"She can stay," Yue Qingyuan cut in quickly, smiling understandably at Bai Daiyu. "She is family."

Hu Lieling nodded, just she and Ci Liang leaving the room as Bai Daiyu took a seat in the corner, allowing the brothers to have space to themselves. Shen Qingqiu immediately rushed over and hugged Shen Yuan, gently and with extreme care. He looked over the young man scrutinizingly. "Where does it really hurt?"

"Gege–."

"Don't give me that crap." Shen Qingqiu hissed, taking Shen Yuan's hands into his own as he looked over his arms, finding no clear injuries. "You lied to Hu Lieling. Tell me where it actually hurts."

Shen Yuan bit his lip at that, it was almost...scary, how well his brothers could read him.

"Didi," Yue Qingyuan sat on the bed next to him, smoothing down his hair and massaging his scalp as he reassured him, "We are just worried...you gave us quite the scare, please tell us so we can help."

"My...My chest, it hurts to breathe..." Shen Yuan admitted, instinctively going to place pressure on where his wound had been bandaged, only for Yue Qingyuan to grab his hand before he was able to and squeeze it reassuringly.

"Shan Lielin told us that the arrow narrowly avoided your lungs, though it was severely close. Didi will have to rest and be careful for some time just in case." As the eldest, Yue Qingyuan had seen the most injuries in his time, even if his time wasn't that much longer than Shen Qingqiu's. He knew the most out of all of them concerning wounds and injuries, much of his knowledge having come from personal experience. So, Shen Yuan wasn't going to be the one to argue with him.

"Forget just resting and being careful, he should have never left at all, and he shouldn't leave again." Shen Qingqiu snapped, not at either Yue Qingyuan or Shen Yuan. But his tone was icy and harsh; there was no gentleness that Ci Liang and Hu Lieling had possessed, but instead the harsh reality of a protective older brother drawn to his last string.

Shen Yuan, however, practically froze at the statement, cold dread settling over him like a thunderstorm over a field of flowers. Undoubtedly about to destroy it all and wash it away until there was nothing left for anyone to find in remembrance of the once lively field. No...No, Gege...Not again. Please don't do it again! Don't lock me away again! Not like back then!

Yue Qingyuan noticed Shen Yuan's sudden reaction and quickly tried to defuse any tension before it could become something irreversible. "Xiao-Jiu, A-Yuan is not at fault for what happened–."

"Why would he be?" Shen Qingqiu scoffed, raising an incredulous brow at Yue Qingyuan before saying, "It's not he who is to blame. But others are too incompetent, if not for them, if not for the fact he had to jump in front of those two to keep them from meeting their rightful fates, then he wouldn't be in this situation!"

Oh, so they had figured out what happened then? Shen Yuan pursed his lips at his brother's statement. Truly, none of them were to blame, right? Out of all three of them, it was definitely Shen Yuan the most, right? He had jumped in front even though he knew he couldn't stop both arrows without getting hurt. It wasn't like Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe were trying to be targets, but they had been overwhelmed by their foes; how could they have seen the death sentence heading straight for them?

"...Gege, it wasn't their fault either." Shen Yuan chimed in, reaching out to take his brother's hand to soothe him, but Shen Qingqiu was already fired up over the entire situation.

Having to wait and wait and wait for his A-Yuan to wake up. To finally see progress in that weak and slow rise and fall of his chest, to have to wait to finally be given the full story by someone else. Someone that wasn't his brother, and someone that wasn't the two he had risked his life for, no matter how unworthy they were of such a sacrifice.

Then having to learn everything known to humankind about a poison that was so rare and entirely incurable that the only known records of it were the death tolls it had caused and how it had caused some cultivators to lose their minds until they eventually killed themselves or they had to be killed by another over the fact they posed too much of a threat.

It had left him restless, angry, and unapproachable. No matter how Bai Daiyu tried to reassure him and urge him to bed to sleep. No matter the affection Yue Qingyuan gave to him, whispering to him in his ear, sitting at his side throughout the night. It meant nothing. Not until he saw his brother awake, alive, and healthy again.

He was in no mood to listen to any self-sacrificial pleas his A-Yuan had. Those two...those two bastards, they hadn't even so much as come to his bedside once! Not to explain what happened, to apologize, to pray for forgiveness that they did not deserve, or at the very least give their condolences if they were so sure that Shen Yuan was dead.

So, no. He would not listen to what his A-Yuan had to say in their defense. They didn't deserve his mercy. "No. A-Yuan, it was their fault."

Shen Yuan once again felt the storm settle overhead. Why wasn't his brother listening to him?! He was the one who got shot! Shouldn't he know better than anyone who was to blame!? "Er-ge, it was my–." Suddenly, his mouth was squeezed closed by Shen Qingqiu's hand, and Shen Yuan couldn't help but feel like this entire scene was all too familiar.

"A-Yuan. It was not your fault." Shen Qingqiu hissed, sounding almost offended that Shen Yuan would even say such a thing. "I don't want to hear you speak such blasphemy again."

"Xiao-Jiu..." Yue Qingyuan stepped in again, pulling Shen Qingqiu's hand away from Shen Yuan's face as he tried to calm the Qing Jing Head Disciple. "If A-Yuan says it is not their fault, then we should not blame them either."

Shen Qingqiu scoffed at that, rolling his eyes as he said, "They didn't even come to see him once. What guiltless men would avoid someone who had nearly given his own life to save them?"

He wasn't surprised. He didn't expect them to come to see him, or even know what he had done in the first place. He couldn't remember the entire battle, but he knew that it had been his...his Shixiong...? It had to have been his Shixiong who had grabbed him when he nearly fell from leaning on Xiao Yingzi. It had to have been his Shixiong who held him and hugged him so securely. There was no one else there aside from Song Rong and Xia Cheng: who cared that much about him in the first place.

So, the likelihood that they even knew what he had done when it had been in the heat of battle and there was too much going on around them for anyone to notice every single detail was less than likely. And even if they did know, then so what? It didn't matter to him. He didn't care all that much about them, just as they didn't care all that much about him. It was just...a favor between martial brothers. Nothing more.

So, it didn't hurt to hear they never came. It didn't hurt to hear that his Er-ge blamed them so readily because of it. No, no it didn't hurt. His wound was just aching, that was all. That's why it was getting harder to breathe.

"They probably didn't know what I had done in the first place, Gege..." Shen Yuan cut in again. He didn't want to hear about them anymore. He didn't want to talk about this anymore. Why couldn't they just forget all of this ever happened and go back to how things were? He could pretend it never happened again; he had done it before, and he would do it again. He just wanted things to go back to how they were. "Don't be mad at them. It's not their fault either. Let's just forget about it."

"Forget about it?" He laughed humorlessly, a sudden heaviness crowded his chest, and he suddenly felt a lump form in his throat. Forget about it? How could his A-Yuan suggest such a thing? "A-Yuan, you...Do you know...how terrible it was–. To see you like that? How could we forget?"

"Gege, I didn't mean–."

"A-Yuan," Yue Qingyuan cut in this time, setting a hand on Shen Qingqiu's shoulder as he said, "We just...We were very worried, that was all. It's not something that we could ever forget easily."

"I know, Da-ge..." Shen Yuan murmured. "I'm sorry."

Yue Qingyuan hugged him, kissing his forehead as he massaged circles into the back of Shen Yuan's neck. "It's alright, A-Yuan. Your Geges were just scared, we're not upset, just promise to be more careful from now on whenever you go out on missions."

"I promise, Da-ge—."

"Another mission?" Shen Qingqiu spat, crossing his arms over his chest. "There is no way he's going out again, not after all of that."

"Xiao-Jiu, we can't judge the fate of A-Yuan's success based on this one instance." Yue Qingyuan argued, reaching out to hold Shen Qingqiu's hand, though the Qing Jing disciple only pulled his hand away in response.

"Can't we?" he retorted. "He's been poisoned by something that quite literally cannot be cured, something that could leave him defenseless in dangerous situations if he over-exerts his spiritual energy, and what if we're not there? It's clear to see that anyone aside from Ling Shou wouldn't give a damn if something happened right in front of them."

At his argument, Yue Qingyuan fell silent. He hated to say it aloud...but he understood where Shen Qingqiu was coming from, and he even agreed with him to an extent.

However, upon hearing his Da-ge's silence, Shen Yuan could already feel the dread not only settling but brewing. Larger and larger, until that terrifying thunderstorm became a hurricane, and he sat directly in the middle of it all. Da-ge! Don't agree with him! I'm fine! I'm fine! Shen Yuan grabbed his Da-ge's hand, squeezing it tightly while Yue Qingyuan sighed heavily.

"I suppose...Xiao-Jiu has a point."

That was it. That is exactly what happened last time. That is what left him in Qing Jing, unable to leave, not allowed to leave.

That's exactly what left him prisoner in his own home.

"Tianyan, what did you want to discuss?" Yue Qingyuan smiled at the young man who sat across from him in the restaurant. He had ordered a private room, so it was only the three of them. Shen Tianyan, Yue Qingyuan, and Shen Qingqiu. It felt nice, to finally sit down with the both of them, it had been so long since they all three sat down together to have a meal.

Like a proper family...

He didn't linger on that age-old ache. Shen Yu–. Shen Tianyan, his Didi, had asked both of them to come with him. It had only been a few days since Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu were named peaks lords, and he was named leader of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, so this was the only time they wouldn't be overly busy and would actually have some free time to spare.

Shen Tianyan, however, only poured the tea they had been given to start with, breathing deeply as he prepared himself to say what he needed to. He thought it all out, he had a plan, and he had a qiankun pouch already packed with every essential thing he would need. Now, all he needed to do was tell them.

They likely wouldn't care; they hadn't cared about anything he did for himself since he first came to Cang Qiong. So, he wasn't asking for permission—he didn't need their permission—he was just telling them. Maybe making an empty promise to visit at least once a year, that he didn't have much ambition to actually live up to.

He waited until the food came, and neither of his brothers started talking, so he figured that he would just tell them, maybe eat a few polite bites, and leave from there. It was clear none of them wanted to be here, so he would just make it easy and take the first step to leave so they could all go their separate ways.

Shen Qingqiu picked elegantly at his food, keeping his eyes ahead of him. He didn't understand why his Didi called them here if he wasn't even going to talk to them, though when did he ever actually speak to them?—It didn't make any sense, but he wasn't about to walk away at the moment. While Shen Tianyan was a recluse in every meaning of the word, he also didn't act without thinking, so he clearly called this little meeting for a reason.

"Da-ge, Er-ge, I will be leaving." Shen Tianyan always spoke rather quietly; his voice was always rather raspy and hoarse, throaty and nasally. But Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu had long since attuned their hearing to accommodate their brother's style of speech.

"Leaving? Didi, the food just got here." Yue Qingyuan smiled hopefully. The atmosphere was tense, it always was, but surely his Didi wouldn't back out of the gathering he called for because of that? "Eat something first, then we can discuss what you called us here for."

Shen Tianyan shook his head as he quickly ate a few bites of the small dish he ordered for himself, clarifying. "No, I meant...I am leaving Cang Qiong. I'm leaving today. I have everything I need, I will return annually to visit." There he had said it, he had eaten a fair portion of his plate, and he could leave.

However, when he went to stand to leave, he suddenly found that his wrist was snagged by a heavy hand and he looked down to see his Da-ge staring up at him with wide eyes, just as his Er-ge stood just as quickly as he did, unfortunately for him, practically towering over him with the heat of his glare.

A heavy feeling of dread settled over him at the expressions on his brothers' faces. What was going on? Why did they both look like that? Why wouldn't his Da-ge let go? "...Da-ge?"

"...Didi," his voice was strained, he sounded like it was a struggle to speak; as if he wanted to scream instead. "Surely, you must be mistaken." Yue Qingyuan stood with the other two, his grip around Shen Tianyan's wrist tightening until the youngest could feel his skin bruising beneath his brother's grip.

"I'm not." He did his best to keep his voice even, his throat was already starting to get a little sore, and he didn't want to overdo it. "I have everything packed and ready, I'm leaving today."

"Absolutely not." Shen Qingqiu snapped, slapping Yue Qingyuan's hand away so he could grab Shen Tianyan's shoulder himself, already starting to drag him out, if not for the younger grabbing onto one of the pillars and hanging on. "Tianyan!"

"What are you doing!?" Shen Tianyan screeched, immediately regretting it when it felt like he swallowed sandpaper. He needed to leave, he just needed to leave! "Let me go!"

"As your peak lord, you're not allowed to leave." Shen Qingqiu hissed, finally yanking Shen Tianyan away from the pillar even as the younger dragged his heels and tried with all his might to free himself from his brother's grasp.

"I wasn't asking!"

"Nor was I!" Shen Qingqiu shouted, yanking a final time until Shen Tianyan was secured in his grasp by his shoulder. "We're going back to Qing Jing, now."

"No, I'm not!" Shen Tianyan screeched, looking over at his Da-ge, practically desperate. There was no way he would let this go on. Even if he always agreed with Shen Qingqiu, surely, at least this once, he'd take his side, just this once. "Da-ge!"

Yue Qingyuan's expression was gloomy, a shadow covered his eyes as he stepped forward and gently released Shen Tianyan from Shen Qingqiu's grasp. Shen Tianyan almost began to smile, almost thanked him, that is, until Yue Qingyuan's hand wrapped around his bicep and he said only this, "Qingqiu-shidi, let's go back now."

What? Why? Da-ge, why? Why!? Don't do this, please don't do this! Shen Tianyan immediately began to kick at his legs and hit the hand tightening around his bicep, but no matter what he did, Yue Qingyuan didn't budge, truly living up to his reputation as the embodiment of Cang Qiong Mountain; unmovable, and Shen Qingqiu—for the first time in forever—willingly followed behind him without a single word.

No matter who they passed, no matter how he screeched despite his increasingly sore throat, no one stopped to help. No one looked in their direction for more than a second. No one did anything.

Not even when they reached the sect, not even when they walked through Qing Jing's gates, Shen Tianyan dragged in the entire time, boots scraping against the ground as he fruitlessly continued to hit and yell. His brothers ignored him the entire time. Everyone they passed ignored them. People he'd known for the past years hardly spared him a glance.

The few who actually stared and looked at him with pity rather than disdain at the sight of a madman having to be dragged into the peak by both the sect leader and the peak lord himself didn't look for long. Even then, those who looked at him with true sympathy didn't say a word, they didn't do a thing. They didn't try to stop them, they didn't call out and ask if he was okay, people he had known for years, his Shixiong and Shijie. All of them.

They. Did. Nothing.

The betrayal wasn't surprising, but it made it no less bitter.

It was only when they entered the Bamboo House that Yue Qingyuan finally released his arm, but he was off balance, and he ended up falling to the floor with a heavy thump. He could feel the bruises forming, and his arm hurt, but the second he tried to scramble up and make a run for it, Shen Qingqiu grabbed him by the wrist, pressing down on the forming bruises.

He couldn't help it; he started shaking, the two in front of him...they weren't his brothers...all he could see was Chen Qiang and those disgusting friends of his. Yelling at him, dragging him. It always hurt. He could never fight back. He only tried once, and he paid a heavy price for it. He could only see them. Where were his brothers?! These two...These two couldn't be them!

A gentle touch he hadn't felt in over a decade suddenly entrapped him. His Da-ge's hands cupped his face, and even with Shen Qingqiu's hand still around his wrist, it was still all he could feel. "Didi, it's alright, calm down."

Calm down? Calm down!? Was he really being told to calm down!? After being dragged all the way here!? Blinding fury overcame him, and he yanked himself away, swiftly putting as much space between himself and his brothers as possible.

He was only seventeen. His brothers were in their twenties. Not only did they have the cultivational advantage over him, but they had the size advantage, they had the advantage of age, they had the advantage of battle-worn wisdom that he had yet to possess, they had every advantage.

It was terrifying.

He felt his eyes burning, but he didn't want to cry, so he steeled his expression and held his ground. Shen Qingqiu turned his back, and for a moment, he could only hope that at least his Er-ge was seeing reason in this insane situation. But Yue Qingyuan...he just...he smiled. It was a sad smile, one he wasn't familiar with, but when he stepped forward, Shen Tianyan took a mirroring step back.

"Didi, let's discuss this." It was that same political tone. The very one that always irritated him, grating against his ears, because that wasn't his Da-ge's voice. His Da-ge spoke softly, calmly, welcomingly. He was kind and reasonable, he would laugh as he talked...His Da-ge didn't talk to him as if he were speaking to an unruly associate that he needed to handle and calm down to reach an agreement. Not his baby brother, who he had dragged up the mountain and now blocked him from the exit.

"I'm leaving." Shen Tianyan hissed. He was furious, he was terrified, he was hurt. His brothers...his Da-ge especially, how could they do this!? Why would they stop him!? Since when did they care about him!?

Did they hate him so much that they would really go this far!?

Yue Qingyuan sighed sadly, turning to look at Shen Qingqiu, who had turned back to face him, and scowled at Shen Tianyan's statement. The two shared a look, a silent conversation that Shen Tianyan had never seen before, and couldn't understand, before the sect leader turned back to him and stepped forward again, not even surprised when the youngest nearly backed himself into the wall.

"Didi, I'm sorry, but you shouldn't leave." Yue Qingyuan stepped closer again, and Shen Tianyan had nowhere else to go. He flinched when Yue Qingyuan reached out to him, this time gently leading him forward until he was being hugged. "Let's talk about this now. Didi, shouldn't leave, it's not safe, he would be hurt out there, and that worries these brothers of yours. But if he likes, this Da-ge can take him out wherever he would like to go whenever he pleases."

Escort him!? Like he was a fucking child!? That's not fucking freedom! Shen Tianyan tried to free himself again, but this time, Yue Qingyuan didn't let him, and it only reinforced his fears; his brothers had every advantage, and every hit, every escape he had made thus far, was all at their leisure and mercy.

Suddenly, he felt something press against his back, and he whirled around in time only to see the fading yellow against his back. His Er-ge pulled his hand away with an impassive expression. Cold and uncaring, Shen Tianyan felt a whole new sense of dread settle over him.

"What...did you do?" Yue Qingyuan tried to reassure him by massaging circles into the back of his neck, but he quickly slapped his hand away, turning to face his Er-ge.

Shen Qingqiu scoffed softly, "A tracking talisman." He had to be joking. Shen Tianyan felt his jaw go slack, but Shen Qingqiu only raised his brow at him, sending him a knowing look. He wasn't joking. "You may leave wherever and whenever. But we will know, and if you are gone for longer than scheduled or longer than a week, then we will come to drag you back."

"Er-ge..." Shen Tianyan felt his stomach drop. He immediately tried to search out the imbalance qi of the talisman, but quickly found that he couldn't even sense it. "Why...?"

"You can't get rid of it without me, and because...the world is dangerous, we're protecting you." He paused, looking away, almost...sadly. But Shen Tianyan was too furious to notice. "Just...Just stay here for now, and we'll discuss this. You're still...young, Tianyan. You don't have enough experience to set out so brashly on your own. You're only seventeen."

The world was dangerous!? What about this!? How couldn't this be described as dangerous!? Shen Tianyan growled as he shoved them both away, this time going straight for the door as he said, "Truly? It seems I can't tell the difference between here and the real world, then!" The door slammed behind him, and neither of his brothers saw the blood that ran down his lip.

Shen Yuan sat there, frozen, terrified; it was going to happen again.

He was going to be locked up again.

He'd...He'd hate his brothers, he knew now, more than ever, that if they did this, no matter how he didn't want to, no matter how much he loved them, he'd hate them all the same for it.

That had been one of the first and strongest cracks in their relationship.

At first, he had believed them to be bluffing, and he had run away late in the night. He had made it to Huan Hua Palace's territories only a week later when he had been traveling through a busy market, and right before him, before he could even process or attempt to turn a corner to run any farther, was his Da-ge.

What was worse was the fact that he looked disappointed.

He didn't look angry or upset as his Er-ge likely would have. But he looked disappointed, like a parent who had expected better of their child, only to be proven wrong once again. They had stood at that crossroad, just staring at each other when Yue Qingyuan sighed sadly and stepped forward, offering his hand, giving him only two choices.

Come willingly or come by force.

Truly, it was only one option. This had to count as force, didn't it? Being tracked down and made to come back to the sect, how was that willingness?

For three years, Shen Tianyan hadn't so much as even spoken a word to either of his brothers because of it. It was only during one of the disciple selection days that he had at the very least stood next to them to help his brother pick out disciples for that year.

Ning Yingying had clung to him like sticky rice, excited and upset all at the same time, the entire day beforehand complaining to him that whoever was picked would try to steal her Shifu's attention from her. It had been a hassle to convince the young girl not to reveal both her knowledge and the secret of his domination itself due to her habit of shooting off at the mouth, and even more so to convince her to be generous in terms of any future Shidi or Shimei she would come to have.

However, looking back on it now, he supposed her discontent was righteous and fair as for the first and only time, Shen Tianyan had taken a disciple personally and likewise took a disciple from his brother after a less-than-preferable first impression. Luo Binghe.

All his life, he had vied again and again to be free. Until it had been his own brothers who had taken that last attempt, he had. He stayed in Cang Qiong Mountain, he obeyed the rules, he did everything he could—and still not enough—for Luo Binghe, and in the end, despite the pain, the torture, everything, he still died there.

He couldn't let it happen again, not again. He wouldn't be able to handle it, he couldn't bear the thought of hating his brothers again, just the very thought left him feeling sick.

However, before he was even given the chance to protest himself, Bai Daiyu stood from her seat and spoke up clearly and sternly. "Now enough of that, both of you."

Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu both looked at her, one slightly annoyed and the other only somewhat surprised. Bai Daiyu rolled her eyes and said, "Do you even hear yourselves? You're speaking as if you want to keep A-Yuan prisoner. How do you expect him to grow and be happy here? If he doesn't even have the right to choose to leave or to stay, how is that any better than how he was treated in the brothel?"

Hearing it laid out so plainly, it honestly hurt. Shen Yuan always knew that his time in the brothel in both lives left their scars, but to hear the effects it still had on him...was still incredibly hurtful. However, both Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu practically went stiff as logs at hearing the comparison.

Ashamed and positively terrified of even the idea, Yue Qingyuan turned his head and quickly pulled Shen Yuan out of the comforter and quickly hugged him, apologizing again and again. "A-Yuan, we're so sorry! Never once did we think of it that way...we just...the idea of you being out there alone without us to protect you...and with everything that has happened, it was just...it made these Geges of yours lose their sense, please forgive us."

Shen Qingqiu didn't speak as much, but he too quickly clarified their intent and made amends, just as unsettled by the comparison. "A-Yuan, we would never want to cage you. We truly only want to protect you, you're still young, you don't have enough experience yet, we just...we worry for your safety without us there."

Hearing their apologies and their explanations, Shen Yuan already felt the tears rolling down his cheeks. Was this how they felt back then, too? Why? Why, back then, couldn't they have just talked this out like this? Why did things have to escalate so quickly? Why did they all have to be so stubborn and prideful?

Never again, he'd never act like that again. Even if he was hurt or upset, he'd always hear his brothers out, he never wanted to be left with such misconceptions ever again.

Yue Qingyuan quickly set to wiping away his tears, cooing to him and comforting him, still heavily ashamed, he continued to apologize. "A-Yuan, please forgive these brothers of yours, truly, we didn't think..."

"I'm not mad at Da-ge or Er-ge," Shen Yuan sniffled, wiping at his own face despite his brother's hand. "I just...I got scared..."

"That's alright, A-Yuan," Shen Qingqiu hummed, the knuckle of his index finger gently smoothing out the skin beneath his eyes, the tender skin of the dark circles of his eyes was red now, and the sight put him on edge. "You can be scared, we won't let anything happen to you. But if we...if we scare you at times...tell us, don't suffer in silence, we will always act with your best intention in mind."

Er-ge...back then, how much is different from back then? How many things that went wrong could have been avoided? Why had I been like that? How could I have been so heartless, Er-ge? If you knew how I was back then, if you knew how I thought of you both back then...would you hate me now? Would you still agree that it wasn't all my fault?

Bai Daiyu hummed approvingly, stepping closer to reassure all of them. Patting Yue Qingyuan on the shoulder as she gave a gentle nod to Shen Qingqiu, and kissed Shen Yuan's temple. "It is always best if A-Yuan and his brothers speak about these things before heavy decisions are made. But for now, A-Yuan should get some sleep before any more discussions are made."

Yue Qingyuan smiled at her, nodding in agreement as he wrapped his arms around Shen Yuan and easily hoisted his brother into his arms as they stood up. "We'll take A-Yuan back to his dormitories."

"I will go speak with Ci Liang then, this one can also write down any plans she has so Qingqiu and Qingyuan can review them." Bai Daiyu offered, receiving twin nods in response.

Shen Yuan huffed softly at being carried, but otherwise didn't mind. He had a feeling that walking would be out of the question, regardless, and he didn't mind the proximity he had with his Da-ge; it felt nice.

When they parted ways, the brothers only talked idly about miscellaneous things; the heavy topic of tomorrow finally set aside to allow the three to talk. Allowing Shen Yuan to share the stories of his prowess in the battle before what they would now refer to as the "incident" happened. It allowed Shen Qingqiu to complain about the incompetence of his Shidi and Shimei in Qing Jing, making snide comments that even blind, Shen Yuan could likely do better calligraphy.

It allowed Yue Qingyuan to listen, to praise his Xiao-Jiu and his A-Yuan as he described his duties as future sect leader in the heavy detail it was, and in turn, received encouragement from both Shens. One wrapped his arms tightly around his shoulders as he said everything he knew to boost his confidence, and the other only snapped open his fan to make a few sarcastic comments along the lines of "Well it has to be you to do then, no one else would be even half as competent to see it through," to reassure him.

Even when they reached the dormitories, and those inside saw Shen Yuan, the brothers didn't separate as the crowd quickly tried to steal their Shidi's attention to check on him. Though the two at the forefront were to be expected, Song Rong and Xia Cheng. Once Shen Qingqiu scared them off, and only Song Rong and Xia Cheng were left, the group went to Xia Cheng's and Shen Yuan's shared dorm room and talked things out.

While Xia Cheng fussed over him, brushing his hair and helping him wash up, all the while catching him up on what he had missed. Outside, Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu spoke with Song Rong about the plans that he personally would see to with Shen Yuan's training. Offering to take Bai Zhan's place as his sword trainer, since he would be able to offer gentler and biased training, rather than the brutish ways of Bai Zhan Peak.

In the end, Shen Qingqiu and Yue Qingyuan agreed, and they entered only once more to wish Shen Yuan sweet dreams before leaving themselves to return to their peaks. Xia Cheng and Song Rong did the same, and Shen Yuan fell asleep more easily than he had in some time.

Chapter Text

The garden was vibrant, teeming with life from the gentle and tedious care of its master. Wildflowers, trees, and plants that were both common in Qing Jing and so exotic that he didn't even recognize a few grew wild on the hillside with that modest and homey cottage in the middle of it all.

A soft song drifted on the wind, the harmonic melody of the guqin flowing like the water of a steady stream. It was enchanting, it was enticing, it was welcoming, and it sounded like home.

Heavy black boots walked through the teeming foliage carefully, knowing the path like the back of his hand as he avoided every flower and stepped on every stone until he reached the open doors of that little cottage.

Only, it was not only he who had walked through.

A man, only somewhat shorter than him, clad in light armor and complex white and arctic blue robes with silver detailing, bearing only a sword that was sheathed with a silver scabbard and strung across his back.

Despite himself, even when he saw the path that man had made through the field of plants and flowers without having once taken to the stone path laid out for him, he followed in after that man, and neither of them said a word.

That man pulled his scabbard off his back, leaning the weapon against the door frame as he kicked off his shoes, and the person behind him did the same, the sword he hadn't realized he was carrying leaning up against the lithe and powerful longsword.

Without realizing it, those two men walked side by side in the cottage. Passing by a room decorated with soft colors and gentle fabrics, with hardly any clutter aside from the desk clad with scrolls and books, a sun room housing small plants and flowers, and a small kitchen hardly ever used. But at that moment, there was a warm, pleasant scent coming from the kitchen, sweet-smelling tea was brewing in the teapot, and thinly sliced fruits sat on plates at the small dining table.

Neither man seemed interested in the food or the tea brewing, nor were they interested in the organized chaos of that single room. They walked through the minimalistic home, footsteps echoing through the empty rooms, until they finally reached another door, and that hillside garden came into view again.

Off to the side of that garden, with vines and flowers growing off of the side of it, yet still obviously entirely structurally sound and safe, sat a modest room. Its door was open, allowing the fresh air of spring to seep inside and cleanse that special little place, given and shared with only one person.

It was only when the gentle shine of a jade pendant caught his eye, resting on the pillow of the bed inside that room, that Luo Binghe felt the urge to breathe again. His Shifu's cottage...his meadow...he hadn't been here in years.

In his distraction, that armor-clad immortal walked further without him and came to the side of the person whose fingers strummed the strings of the guqin gently, the soft melody only flowing through pale fingers as the sunlight of midday made the dark greens and black he wore shimmer like velvet.

That war god kneeled before the immortal whose song lured him there, a beautiful face bore an impassive expression as he sat before that person, and Luo Binghe couldn't help but wonder just how someone with such blessed features could always look so cold and arrogant while simultaneously entrapping any who looked at him.

Compelled to do so, Luo Binghe turned once again the look at that cottage he hadn't seen in such a long time. Only to find the truest picture of his memories. The wood was dim, the plants and flowers wilted, most already dead. The trees were withering and thin, the leaves having fallen to the ground and long since turned black. The windows and doors were shut tight, and the scent of rotting mint and sour vanilla practically seeped from the cracks of the wood.

Luo Binghe shouted in alarm at the devastating sight of his Shifu's meadow turned so sorrowfully desolate. He spun around to ask that gentle immortal how he could let such a thing happen, why had he given up on this place and himself so wretchedly? But the moment he turned around, he found that powerful longsword on the ground, the only thing supporting the mangled and bloody body of the once proud war god.

Luo Binghe stared for a long moment, the once melodic song in the air suddenly silenced and all he could hear was the taunting crackling of fire in the distance. He could see the smoke rising into the air, high above the stalks of bamboo that taunted the dead and wilting plants of his Shifu's meadow with their futility from the constant spiritual energy of Qing Jing.

A sudden anger surged inside him, hot and volatile; it burned like the churning of magma in his chest, and he reached for his sword, which had already returned to the scabbard strewn across his back.

He raised that demonic blade in the air, the black iron shining in the muted light of day. However, long before he could deal a blow so costly that it would tear through the very earth he stood upon, a pale and bloody hand reached up to cover his own.

This man, long since named an emperor, reborn by the hand of the heavens, once the most powerful man alive, felt his heart stop as he dropped his sword. Unconcerned with the harsh sound of it hitting the earth. He spun around to find that person who had taken his hand, just as he had done all those years ago when he claimed him as his disciple.

Only to find two bloody sockets staring back at him, rather than the warm jade of his Shifu's eyes.

This person, before him, whose face was marred with blood, opened his mouth; as if to speak, but the wound across his throat only allowed the blood to spill from his lips. Luo Binghe felt sick just looking at him, finding every scar, every wound, and every reminder of the truth he still could not name too unbearable to witness.

That is, until it was not the hoarse and nasally voice of his Shifu that he heard call out to him, but the soft and hesitant voice of the Shidi he had grown to know. "Luo Binghe?" But even still, only able to take a single glance before shutting his eyes again.

What remained of that worn and torn heart of his lurched at the sound of his own name, finding that even hearing it spoken from that person hurt worse than facing the fate of a thousand blades.

"Did I fail you so terribly?" This person, who stood before him, spoke with such indifference that Luo Binghe couldn't tell if the question he was asking was out of genuine curiosity or if he was merely torturing him by repeating the words that Luo Binghe dearly wished to take back.

"Did you hate both of us that much?" This time, it was not one person who spoke, but two. A voice both soft and stern and a voice authoritative and low spoke in tandem, adding only to the echo that practically reverberated the sound of his own heartbeat, and only exemplified the tortuous revelation of the stillness in these two people's chests.

When he finally opened his eyes, it was not the mangled and bloody remains of the two he both coveted and despised nor the Shidi and Shixiong he had grown to know over the years who stood before him. But the man he had followed into the cottage, and the ethereal immortal whose hair hung low past his waist with a compassionate gleam in his warm jade eyes.

Liu Qingge stood like a mighty oak, hands crossed behind his back as broad shoulders only seemed to expand with each breath he took, no matter how pointless of an action it truly was. Prussian blue eyes, nearly black in their depths, held an eternal glare, boring through whoever he looked at, and yet...he could tell that there was no one, in particular, those eyes were glaring through.

This wasn't real.

Of course, it wasn't; nothing was ever real.

And yet, the hand that extended out to him, the soft and welcoming voice of his Shifu, the ever-changing scene around him, it all felt too real. "Luo Binghe, aren't you my disciple?"

There had been few times his dreams could haunt him, where he could not bend them to his will as he pleased, but now, even being able to identify it, he was unable to stop any of it.

The world around them morphed again, and this time, they were in front of Qiong Ding Hall, the flames of his past vengeance burning brightly behind them, and the hand his Shifu still held out to him began to drip with the crimson liquid of his fruitless efforts, his bold and selfless attempts to save them.

It made a foreign part of himself ache when he finally took that hand, and he could feel the coldness of his skin beneath the warm liquid. Before his very eyes, staring into those warm jade eyes, Luo Binghe watched as those two versions of his Shifu seemed to morph together. One unable to speak, and one unable to see. Until he was left with only him.

Only Shen Yuan.

Grown, his hair as long as his Shifu's, eyes covered in a cloudy sheen, throat finally healed, and with the same expression he always saw on his Shifu's face. The hand in his curled up as he pulled himself away, turning back to Liu Qingge, who stood at the entrance of Qiong Ding Hall, saying only, "The sins of the past hardly ever fade away as you wished."

"Shifu...why did you hide from me?" Luo Binghe reached out again, but this time, his hand could not hold on, and the fabric of his Shifu's robes slipped through his fingers.

Shen Tianyan...Shen Yuan...He did not look at him again, he did not spare this disciple...this Shixiong of his another glance. "A broken heart will forever beat in the silence of abandonment."

Luo Binghe growled softly at the riddles. His Shifu always spoke so randomly, never truly saying just what he meant, and yet Shen Yuan always spoke so plainly that it was impossible not to take every word he said to heart. In this instance, he didn't know which one to believe.

"Did you hate me that much?" The question surprised even him, and Shen Yuan, his Shifu, finally turned around again to face him.

He stared at him, blind eyes going straight through him, heavy footsteps came next to his side, and that armor-clad war god walked straight past him, past Luo Binghe, never sparing them a glance, never saying a word. Unsettling, and almost disassociating, Luo Binghe felt his arms freeze when he instinctively went to grab him to stop him from walking down those blood-stained stairs.

"Hatred is the turmoil of love suppressed. Choose only one path, there is no third." Saying nothing else, Shen Yuan turned away from him again and walked into Qiong Ding Hall, the heavy doors slamming shut behind him with a haunting finality.

These three people, one walking away from it all, one standing in place, and the other hiding behind sturdy walls. None of them looked at each other, and yet they were all they could see.

Those walls began to crumble, the fire raged higher and higher, and the blood on the stairs only seemed to sink deeper and deeper into the stone, forever staining the grounds of this place with the blood of vengeance and the blood of sacrifice.

Beneath him, the ground trembled with the sympathy of rage and the horror of anguish. The sky mirrored the turmoil as dangerous clouds blocked out the light of the sun, eclipsing the world in darkness as the very heavens roared with the roll of thunder. His eyes closed, allowing such a monsoon to fester, to rage and grow until the roar of thunder and the flash of lightning was nothing more than the mirror of torment.

The ashes upon the ground, the blood-stained stone, and the dying garden beneath his feet suddenly cracked and gave underway to the roar of the monsoon, the heavens themselves trembling as reality shattered before him with a cataclysmic echo.

In those ashes, kneeling upon those wilted and decaying flowers, bathed in the blood he reaped and sowed, he finally heard a familiar voice call out to him with an infuriating bout of mirth, "By the heavens, boy...what have you done?"

Darkness was not foreign to him, not even in the daytime when the colors of autumn flew past his vision in blurs that he could sometimes recognize. However, suddenly waking up to not a sound around him, not a single color in sight, and not even with a single candle lit, panting and aching somewhat from the...nightmare he had, was rather peculiar.

He had nightmares somewhat commonly, always the same repeating terrible memories of his past that always stirred up the shame and self-loathing he had hidden within his heart. However, that dream...that...nightmare, it was new. It was not normal, and the entire time, watching as his own body moved far beyond his own control with the memories of those two people...was unsettling. Normally, whenever the nightmares chose to plague him, Xia Cheng normally woke him up from them, gently soothing him awake as she was alerted to his condition due to the soft cries he would make in his sleep.

This time, he woke up alone, in the dark, and he could hear Xia Cheng murmuring in her sleep from behind the screen that separated their bedroom. Something felt...off. He wasn't sure what, but he wasn't about to wait around and let the feeling fester. That dream...wasn't normal in any sense; it had to have meant something.

He thanked the high heavens that Xia Cheng was a sound sleeper once she reached a certain point in her REM cycle, seeing as it allowed him to dress rather slowly and sneak out of the room with no other fuss.

He had been taught to follow his instincts here. So, following those teachings, he followed where his heart led him. He had to walk slowly, his legs somewhat sore from having been unconscious and unmoving for three days in a row, and the further he walked, he soon traveled off the familiar cobblestone path and followed that strange and unidentifiable pull into the forest.

[This System congratulates User on completing Survive the Demon Attack! +100 B-points! User may now–.]

Will you shut up?! I'm busy! You couldn't have made that alert sooner!? Shen Yuan groaned internally, ignoring the blue screen floating near him.

[This System wishes User good luck on his next assignment! Enemy? I Choose Friendship! If completed successfully, User will receive 200 B-points!]

Okay, okay! I get it! Screw off!

He could hear the sounds of the beasts in the distance, crying out into the night, but there was one sound in particular that he focused on most of all. Panting, pained, and somewhat erratic. He followed the soft sound until it grew louder, and he quickly hid himself behind a tree once he realized he was directly behind the person hiding deep within the woods of Ling Shou.

Naturally, his energy sought out the one he had followed into the forest, only to flinch back and nearly make him yelp at the sudden onslaught of pure and uncontained demonic energy. He nearly made a run for it, almost assuming that a demon had wandered into Ling Shou. That is, until his energy sought it out again, and within that surge of yin energy, he also found a familiar stream of spiritual energy.

He faltered, unconsciously taking another step closer. What was he doing here? And why did he have such a strong presence of demonic energy!? Shen Yuan wracked his brain, nothing about this made sense, why would Luo Binghe even think to come here of all places!? And why—.

Oh. Oh, the realization came to him like a hit to the face. Of course, while the immortal alliance conference for them wouldn't be for another year or two, Luo Binghe naturally outgrew the seal on his demonic heritage by the age of sixteen or seventeen, and the immortal alliance conference had just been an equally lucky and unlucky occurrence to give him the chance to display such raw power.

And...for Shen Qingqiu to push him into the Endless Abyss.

Shen Yuan paled at that memory, quickly shaking it away. Back then...he had shown up too late. His brother had gotten to Luo Binghe first, and he had only been able to watch in horror as his only disciple was pushed down into hell.

This time...This time, he couldn't let something like that happen again. No matter how he felt about Luo Binghe now, no matter how he might feel about him, Shen Yuan just couldn't let it happen again. Luo Binghe, I already failed you once as your Shifu. I made every mistake, and in the end, what happened to you was my fault. But this time...as your Shidi, I won't make the same mistakes!

Twigs snapped beneath the weight of the person approaching him, and Luo Binghe instinctively spun around to snarl at them, standing on the defensive as he prepared for whatever attack was to come.

That is, until he saw who approached him.

"Luo-shixiong..." Shen Yuan greeted him softly. They stood a distance away from each other, neither willing to come any closer.

However, Luo Binghe couldn't stand to look at him for very long. His chest constricted, and just the sight of Shen Yuan, clad in the gentle whites of his sleeping robes, hair that reached his waist splayed out across his shoulders, and cloudy eyes staring directly at him. One couldn't help but think of this person as a ghost, a hauntingly ethereal vision coming to torment him for his past sins, to remind him of the monster he truly was.

When he didn't answer, Shen Yuan took another step forward, and Luo Binghe mirrored him by taking another step back. "What are you doing here?" Luo Binghe ground out, his voice hoarse and strained as the glowing red huadian on his forehead pulsed with every ragged breath he took.

He didn't remember the seal breaking being this uncomfortable.

"I could ask you the same thing, Luo-shixiong." Shen Yuan countered, taking another step forward, and feeling a little relieved when he didn't hear Luo Binghe take another step back.

Luo Binghe pursed his lips. This person before him was the cause for many of his sleepless nights, the haunting visions of a kneeled immortal, bloody and mauled from a battle that he should have never been a part of. Only to show him that same man, only this time held in the arms of his most aggravating foe, slipping once again from his fingers and life as that terrible empty void threatened to swallow him whole once again. Rendering him into nothing but madness as he watched again and again as that person suffered and protected him, all the while he kept his back turned to him, and never once repaid that heavy debt.

So to see him now, finally awake, breathing, walking, seemingly unharmed. It felt like a cruel trick from his feverish mind, tempting him into an unnerving sense of calm only to just as quickly snatch it away from him and once again cement the reality of his sins.

Upon facing Luo Binghe's silence, Shen Yuan felt somewhat aggrieved, he wasn't hurt that neither Luo Binghe nor Liu Qingge cared to see if he was alive or not, but to think that at the very least Luo Binghe couldn't even try to offer some kind of conversation to save his own ass just because it was him, was rather...disheartening.

Forgetting himself, and thinking with the mind of that immortal Shifu who could readily scold Luo Binghe, Shen Yuan crossed the last of that bit of distance and came face to face with the future demon lord, uncaring of the unfair height advantage, Shen Yuan reached up with both hands as squished the young man's face until he felt satisfied, scolding him all the while, "What do you think you're doing here? Don't you know we set up perimeters that can sense demonic energy? We house demonic beasts and plants! What if you were caught, huh? What then? Did you even have a plan?!"

Caught by surprise, Luo Binghe could only stare as Shen Yuan scolded him, squishing his face until his cheeks were sore and finally letting go to allow Luo Binghe to explain himself. However, still struck dumb, he could only murmur, "I...I felt called to come here..."

Shen Yuan huffed at the answer. Perhaps it was because of the demonic beasts and plants they housed, the familiar energy likely was like a moth to a flame for Luo Binghe. Finding reason in the situation, Shen Yuan nodded assuredly as he grabbed Luo Binghe's hand and led him to sit against one of the dove trees near a quiet stream he heard upon walking over here.

"It was still reckless. If you were caught, what do you think they would do?" Shen Yuan searched around them, but when he realized there was nothing he could use to hold the water, he merely cupped his hands and did his best to make sure he didn't lose any of it as he came back over to the Bai Zhan Peak disciple, "Here, drink something to calm your fever down."

Luo Binghe stared at him, flabbergasted and shellshocked, he could hardly bear to so much as look at Shen Yuan at the moment, but to drink from his hands...felt far too intimate. However, when he took too long, Shen Yuan huffed as he instead raised his hands and poured the water over Luo Binghe's head.

Sputtering, the young man shouted, "What the–!?"

"You needed to cool off, you shouldn't let a fever rage on for so long," Shen Yuan couldn't help but laugh at Luo Binghe's sputtering, so to hide himself, he quickly went to cup some more water into his hand. Kneeling before him again, Shen Yuan threatened, "Either drink this or I pour it on your head."

Luo Binghe eyed him, exhaling shakily as he gently grabbed Shen Yuan's hands and stabilized himself to drink from his hands, doing everything within his power to ignore the humiliation he felt. When he leaned back against the tree, a cold hand suddenly pressed against his forehead, covering the mark of sin that branded him as Shen Yuan hummed.

"It should break here any moment. How do you feel?"

"Why are you doing this?"

Caught off guard, Shen Yuan didn't move a muscle as he asked, "What do you mean?"

Luo Binghe growled softly as he grabbed the hand that cooled down his blazing hot skin and clutched it almost too tightly; as if he was trying to make a threat, "Why are you helping me?! Don't you hate me or something!? I'm a demon!"

Shen Yuan naturally flinched back at the yelling, but otherwise held firm, squeezing Luo Binghe's hand back just as tightly as he asked, "What does you being a demon have to do with anything!?"

Struck dumb once again, Luo Binghe could only barely utter, "Don't...Don't you hate demons?"

Shen Yuan scoffed at that, taking Luo Binghe's hand and pulling it closer to himself so he could flip his palm and rest his hand against his, displaying both their similarities and their differences. Where soft pink nailbeds were left to contrast against black, the size difference between the two was also just as clear, and Luo Binghe could hardly swallow down the lump in his throat at the sight.

"I don't hate a single race. I'm not racist. Being a demon doesn't make someone automatically bad, just as being human doesn't make someone automatically good." Shen Yuan huffed, making sure that their hands were visible to Luo Binghe as he said, "Look at our hands, don't they look similar?"

"No..." Luo Binghe muttered, raising a brow at the point Shen Yuan was trying to make. "My skin is tan, my nailbeds are black, I have claws, and mine are bigger."

Shen Yuan shouted in annoyance at him, reaching forward and swatting at his face to shut him up. "Shut up! That's not what I'm trying to say!" He shuffled a bit closer so Luo Binghe wasn't stretching out his arm so much as he said, "I meant, look at how they fit together. Yes, you have claws and I don't, your nailbeds are black and mine are pink, your skin is tan and mine isn't, your hands are bigger than mine, but they are more similar than you think. They fit together, because despite it all, we're the same. We're no different from each other aside from heritage, so tell me, why should I hate you?"

"I'm a heavenly demon," Luo Binghe responded immediately, staring intently at their hands. His palms were calloused from his time with a sword, from the physical labor he put into training himself, and Shen Yuan's hands...were soft. They had a few scars on them, light and only somewhat raised against the back of his hand, but it only added to the gentleness of it all. "You should hate me for that alone. Cast out from the heavens? Or have you never learned of my race?"

Shen Yuan sighed softly, this time threading his fingers entwined with Luo Binghe's as he said, "That was your ancestors, their sins are not for you to bear. Why should I hate you for something you can't control? What does heritage matter to me, hm?"

Luo Binghe couldn't help the hitch in his breath, struggling to say, "Then...Then don't you...Don't you hate me as I am, regardless? If you don't hate heavenly demons...then don't you at least hate me?"

Shen Yuan frowned at the question. Truly, he had been a terrible Shifu in the past life; he should have told Luo Binghe all of this back then as well. But likewise, he had been a terrible Shidi as well. He would atone for his sins and make it right, so surging forward, he wrapped his arms around Luo Binghe's shoulders, hugging him securely as he pushed the young man to rest his head against his shoulder. "I never hated Luo Binghe, and I never will hate him."

His arms hovered for a moment, as if disbelieving that he would be allowed to hold this person in return, but when Shen Yuan didn't push him away, he wrapped his arms around him, holding on tightly as the Ling Shou disciple combed through his hair with his fingers.

Mint and vanilla...he smelled like mint and vanilla.

"I'm a heavenly demon, I've known all this time, I was lying to everyone."

"I forgive you. You did it to protect yourself. I don't care that you're a heavenly demon."

"I'm aggressive, I could hurt you."

"I'm not afraid, I know you wouldn't."

His voice hitched, and if Shen Yuan felt the wetness against his shoulder as Luo Binghe trembled as he spoke, then he said nothing about it and merely hugged him a little tighter. "You...You were shot because of me...You were poisoned."

"My actions were my own, don't blame yourself."

"We've...We've never been friends..."

"Then we can start today."

[Congratulations! User has successfully completed Enemy? I Choose Friendship! 200+ B-points! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°]

Shut up, will you!? Shen Yuan hissed internally, closing his eyes so he didn't have to see that annoying blue screen. Damn it! He should have gouged out his own eyes! Why did he have to see that stupid thing!?

Luo Binghe couldn't speak anymore, not without the ugly sounds he was choking back coming out. Shen Yuan could feel the tension in his shoulders and resoundingly rubbed his back to coax them out, "...Binghe can cry, it's healthy too. I don't like it either, but I still let myself do it when I need to."

It started soft and controlled, but the longer they stayed there, the longer Shen Yuan held him, rubbing his back and humming softly to soothe him, the thinner his resolve grew until those ugly and pained sounds finally tore through his chest, leaving nothing to be hidden and the terror of being known.

Shen Yuan said nothing; the pained sounds from Luo Binghe resurfaced memories of that boy he had taken as his disciple, the boy who had cried only once in front of him when his Shizun had rejected him, only to be taken by the younger brother as his disciple instead. Yet, no matter that fact, that young man was still tortured and tormented, far beyond the means Shen Tianyan could stop, and yet...no matter how he tried, he never did enough, he was never a good Shifu.

He couldn't help but wonder how many times Luo Binghe had cried like this alone. Hurt and abandoned in that little room, despised unfairly by his peers and Shizun, treated so coldly by a Shifu who couldn't protect him, and abandoned by those who should have loved him. How many times had Luo Binghe cried like this? Only comforted by the four walls around him. How many times had he choked them back? Doing everything within his power to suppress them.

He felt his throat close at the thought, but otherwise made no sound, and if his face grew wet and his eyes burned, then he would blame it on the pollen from the trees.

Luo Binghe, back then, you had many wives and people who adored you, didn't you? Surely...Surely you had someone to talk to, to love and care for you. I can't remember my first life much, I remember that terrible book...I know so many of your wives came to betray you...but surely you had someone, please...I hope you had someone. Long after I was gone, I hope you forgot about me.

Not wanting his tears to be seen, Shen Yuan raised his arm quickly to wipe at his face, only to feel Luo Binghe's arms travel further up, binding around his back and latching onto his shoulders as he murmured, "...Don't leave..."

Shen Yuan leaned into the hug, trying his best to think of what to do. Suddenly, his Da-ge's actions came to mind, and he pressed his cheek against Luo Binghe's hair as he began to massage the back of his neck, pressing circles into the tense muscles as he said, "I won't." Strangely, Luo Binghe smelled like smoked almonds and...lotus.

He couldn't help himself; he chuckled softly at the bit of irony. In his past life, his amulet had snuffed out his senses, leaving him practically nose-blind to any scent, even to his own. Back then, he'd always watch Luo Binghe practice from his window, sometimes smiling only barely to himself when he thought of the young man as a blooming white lotus.

Who knew that he actually did smell of lotus after all?

That soft, angelic sound sent a sudden chill down his spine, and Luo Binghe felt the urge to press himself closer. He wanted to know, he wanted to know what made Shen Yuan laugh, he wanted to know what made him cry, he wanted to know everything. This time, in this life, he didn't want there to be any secrets.

Let's start today, that's what he had said. Hand in hand to repair their relationship, to be friends, to be equals. He wanted that, he wanted Shen Yuan to hear his voice and be happy.

"What are you laughing at?" His tears were drying on his face and his voice was warbled. At the sound, Shen Yuan quickly pressed the pads of his fingers deeper into those tense muscles, hoping to reassure, to comfort.

However, still unable to move past the delightful irony, Shen Yuan giggled, "Luo-shixiong smells like lotus."

Unable to understand what was entertaining about such a simple fact, Luo Binghe leaned back a little to look at Shen Yuan's face, startled for only a second when he saw the red tint around his eyes. "What of my scent?"

"Luo-shixiong is like a growing lotus...a white lotus."

I'm...I'm a what!?

Flabbergasted, Luo Binghe asked, "How the hell am I, the white lotus!?" If anyone were to be described in such a way, shouldn't that be Shen Yuan!?

Shen Yuan huffed softly, sitting back on his haunches in the lotus position so his knees wouldn't suffer anymore as he defended his statement. "It's true! Luo-shixiong is resilient like a lotus flower. The rains of the storm wash off its petals, and it opens itself up to receive the sunlight."

Struck silent by such poeticism, Luo Binghe still felt rather aggrieved. A lotus? He knew his scent resembled the fragrance, but wasn't calling him a flower that resembled the purification of the body, the mind, and speech a bit too out of character?

His arms were still rather tight around Shen Yuan, their knees knocked together, and Luo Binghe couldn't help but strike back. "Then Shidi is a kitten."

"I–. What!? How am I a cat!?" Shen Yuan shouted, pushing himself back onto his knees so he could feel a bit taller. What the hell was this!? He didn't say anything mean! Why was he being called a cat!?

Humored by such a reaction to the extent that Luo Binghe could even for a moment imagine cat ears perched on top of Shen Yuan's head, he happily stated, "It's the way Shidi behaves. Hissing and throwing a fit at others when in reality you just want to be pet~" He wanted to be someone this Shidi of his could smile around, but that didn't mean he didn't enjoy teasing him.

"Who wants to be pet!?" Shen Yuan shrieked, trying fruitlessly to pull himself away. But Luo Binghe took the opportunity to tighten his hold and slowly drag Shen Yuan closer to him. "Bad Shixiong!"

"Why are you scolding me like a dog?" Luo Binghe huffed, chuckling triumphantly when Shen Yuan begrudgingly leaned against the tree at his side, close enough that their thighs touched.

Shen Yuan smirked cheekily, humming, "Aren't you one? Shixiong seems like the type to be a wolf-dog. This Shidi has to scold him like that, doesn't Shixiong know that dogs never learn if you don't train them?"

This little...

"Wolf-dogs also can eat cheeky little kittens who don't play nice with their Shixiong."

"I'll scratch your nose. Shixiong wouldn't be able to catch me anyway."

Feeling challenged, Luo Binghe made to sneakily grab his Shidi, only for the young man to spring up and jump so high he was able to latch onto one of the branches of the tree and climb up.

"Shixiong is too slow!"

Looking up, Luo Binghe couldn't help but laugh. "And Shidi says he's not a kitten, yet here is he climbing up a tree! Will Shidi need help getting down?"

Before his tease could settle for long, Shen Yuan jumped down from the tree, standing before Luo Binghe with an indignant expression. "I don't need Shixiong's help."

Luo Binghe snickered at the statement, standing from his position with the intent to prove this cheeky little Shidi wrong, that is until his head pulsed agonizingly, feeling as though it was about to split in half. He seriously did not remember the seal being broken to be this agonizing.

Shen Yuan hurried forward once he heard Luo Binghe groan, reaching up to cup Luo Binghe's face as he checked his temperature and his meridians. "Your body is trying to counterbalance your demonic side." He remembered reading about this. At first, Luo Binghe's demonic blood was so potent that it threw his entire internal system out of balance, his spiritual core unable to counteract the onslaught of pure demonic energy surging within the young man's veins. When Luo Binghe had been pushed down into the abyss, this entire scenario happened, but his body's rejection quickly turned into a bloodlusting rage as he tore through every monster in the abyss to increase his strength, and it was only made worse when he obtained Xin Mo.

It said that Luo Binghe's bloodlust went on for months in the abyss, blinding his judgment and damn near driving him insane, if not for one of the convenient wife plots that somehow left Sha Hualing in the Endless Abyss, and from there the magical cure of papapa was discovered as a way to keep Luo Binghe from going mad.

Well, they sure as hell couldn't go down that route. He hadn't thought about it before, but now with the realization, he couldn't help but cringe at the thought of Luo Binghe's 600+ wives. He'd be at least a decade older than all of them! Couldn't that possibly put a damper on things!?

Don't get him wrong, he knew the power of a hot older man, but surely there had to be some limitations! He didn't know how he'd handle hearing Ning Yingying married Luo Binghe at the age she canonically did when Luo Binghe would be that much older than her!

Airplane, screw you and your random fucking alternate universes!! I get the whole appeal behind a hot older guy, but surely you can't go so far! Some of those wife plots will take a whole new turn for the worse with such an age difference!

They clearly couldn't go down the usual road to recovery in this sense, and Shen Yuan was not for allowing Luo Binghe to go on a blood-lusting rage at the moment. So, he did the first thing he could think of.

Luo Binghe's eyes shot open when he felt the stream of qi enter his meridians. It was warm and gentle, akin to rubbing petals along your skin. He naturally leaned into it, sighing when he could feel balance restored within himself. The hands that had moved to cup the underside of his jaw were warm and soft, and it was only when they began to quiver that he realized exactly what was happening.

"Shen Yuan. Stop." He tried to tug the hands away, but Shen Yuan held on a little tighter, fixing his stance so Luo Binghe couldn't push him away. Just a little more...he had to make sure nothing happened; he wouldn't let it happen again like last time. "Shen Yuan!"

"I'm...It's almost...done." Shen Yuan argued, it felt like his entire torso was going numb. He knew how insane his pain tolerance was; he knew that to an extent it was a problem, but despite that, even now, it felt like his lungs were burning. "Just let me–."

Before he could attempt to reason with Luo Binghe anymore, the Bai Zhan disciple knocked Shen Yuan's knees to bend, catching him before he could actually fall to the ground as he pinned Shen Yuan's arms down. "Don't do that!"

"Do you want to go through a qi deviation because of improper balance between your demonic and spiritual cores?!" Shen Yuan snapped back. He just needed to stay still for a moment longer! He was almost done anyway! "Hold still! Let me finish!" Shen Yuan reached out again, but this time Luo Binghe caught his hands, and they were stuck in a stalemate of pushing against each other.

"Don't be stubborn!"

"Shen Yuan! I swear I'm going to tie you up and never let you move again if you try that shit again!"

"You're being ridiculous! Just let me finish!"

"You're being irresponsible, where the hell did you learn to take care of yourself!?"

The two kept pushing against each other, Shen Yuan pushing his entire body weight while Luo Binghe did his best to counteract it without actually hurting his Shidi. He had just been poisoned for hell's sake! And he was acting like this!? How the fuck had Shen Yuan survived for so long in both lives!?

Both were too stubborn to back down, so they kept at it, that is, until they heard approaching footsteps. Luo Binghe cursed under his breath, but Shen Yuan was quick to stand and shield Luo Binghe behind him, not that it did much to hide the wider form of the Bai Zhan disciple.

Shen Yuan was prepared to make a million different excuses, that is until he sensed just who was approaching. "Liu-shixiong..." At this Shen Yuan faltered, and Luo Binghe stood from the ground behind him, expression complexly cold as he moved to stand at Shen Yuan's side.

Liu Qingge approached quickly. He seemed prepared to say something when he saw Shen Yuan, but the words immediately died on his tongue the moment he saw Luo Binghe and the pulsing huadian on his forehead. The mark of sin, the brand that displayed heavenly demons, that declared them forsaken by the heavens.

"Liu Qingge," Luo Binghe greeted with a graveled voice, barely even nodding his head in greeting while Liu Qingge only stared at him, not entirely as shocked as one should have been to see a heavenly demon, but still surprised all the same.

"Luo Binghe," he murmured, glaring the young man up and down as he scowled and shook his head almost disappointedly. "What the hell were you thinking coming here!?"

Shen Yuan stepped forward at that. He couldn't let this escalate. "Liu-shixiong, it's not as bad as it seems, don't jump to any conclusions."

"You know what he is?" Liu Qingge questioned as he jutted his head in Luo Binghe's direction, staring intently at Shen Yuan.

"Yes."

"Then you should know how serious this is."

"Of course, I know how serious this is," Shen Yuan retorted. "But Liu-shixiong shouldn't jump to any rash assumptions. He's...Luo Binghe can't help his heritage; he only hid it to protect himself. Don't judge him because of it. Please, Shixiong, it's really not his fault."

Luo Binghe couldn't help but inhale sharply at the statement. A bitter part of himself couldn't help but wonder if his Shifu would have said the same thing if they had been given this chance. What would life have been like?

"I already knew." Liu Qingge answered almost immediately, startling Shen Yuan and Luo Binghe as he stepped closer to Shen Yuan, eyeing him skeptically as though he was checking for anything out of sorts before saying, "I had my... suspicions. I don't care."

"Liu-shixiong...really? You don't mind? You won't try to cast him out?" Shen Yuan asked hopefully, smiling gratefully as Liu Qingge grunted in confirmation.

However, his gaze quickly traveled to Luo Binghe, glaring sternly, he stated, "Luo Binghe. Your heritage may be damned, but it is inconsequential and something that would not be taken into regard above all else if a situation ever arises, as long as that you can swear to me here and now; you have no plans to cause any harm to Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, and you will remain loyal to your sect."

The vow caught him by surprise. No plans to harm Cang Qiong? Loyalty? The day he awakened here, the days he spent on Bai Zhan Peak. He had sworn to himself to raze it all to the ground, to destroy it all once again, and to take what he wanted. To get the answers from this version of his Shifu, he was still learning from.

But now, to take such a vow...

"I swear. This one's loyalty is without question." He bowed deeply, hands held out in front of him respectfully as his gaze locked in on one person in particular. He would remain loyal. To Cang Qiong? Perhaps, only if it still called for it. His loyalty truly was an undying thing, if you treated him kindly; he would repay it tenfold for as long as he was able, but if you treated him poorly, then he would return the slight until his rage was sated.

And truly, who here could covet his loyalty and his ire simultaneously more than the two in front of him?

Liu Qingge grunted at the vow, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he said, "Very well. Then there is nothing else to it. However, what were you thinking coming here!?"

Luo Binghe chuckled humorlessly, groaning as he explained, "Can this humble Shidi just say he had a...particularly bad dream and felt the urge to come here once the seal was broken?"

"What if you were caught!?" Liu Qingge snapped once again, only earning an eye roll from Luo Binghe.

"Luo Binghe can always come here if he needs to; it's likely the safest option by far." Shen Yuan cut in, taking a step back to allow himself the room to stretch out his shoulders. Who knew being unconscious for three days and nights, only to be locked in a bear hug by the future demon lord, could make one's joints so sore? "Ling Shou has many detection arrays up, but we also have many demonic beasts as well. If Luo-shixiong ever has a...uhm, outbreak? Then he can come here, and this Shidi can blame it on one of the beasts, perhaps breaking free of their enclosures."

Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge both stared at him intently, neither truly had the will to look away. One was surprised by such an offer, and the other was intently intrigued. "Ling Shou is also rather close to Bai Zhan as well, Luo-shixiong wouldn't have to travel very far. And this one can help him rebalance his demonic and spiritual cores so he can conceal himself again."

"You're not doing that again." Luo Binghe cut in immediately, crossing his arms as his tone rang out a finality that made Shen Yuan huff and Liu Qingge raise an incredulous brow.

"Then what does Luo-shixiong suggest!?"

"What did you do?"

Shen Yuan turned to Liu Qingge's voice with irritation. Why was he being treated like a kitten in a pride of lions!? He knew damn well what he was doing! Yes, it didn't feel spectacular to strain his qi so much so soon, but he would grow used to the feeling, and knowing himself, he would likely adapt to it. "This one merely did as one should do if someone was about to experience a severe qi deviation."

Liu Qingge blanked for a minute. To successfully help a person revive themself from a qi deviation—let alone stop one entirely, especially if it was a severe one—took a substantial amount of qi from the benefactor. He spared a glance to Luo Binghe: who looked just as aggrieved at the simple explanation and the intent of the Ling Shou disciple to do it again, and then back at Shen Yuan: who glared blindingly, standing against them with a prideful air about him, as if he was trying to appear bigger than the two.

A cat sizing up against two predators.

"No. Not with your condition. Without-a-Cure already drains your spiritual energy." Liu Qingge said plainly, earning the annoyed shout of Shen Yuan.

"I wasn't asking for permission."

"And this wasn't an option in the first place!" Luo Binghe snapped. This Shidi of his! Why did he feel the need to potentially put his life on the line at every turn!? Buddha give him the patience to not indulge in his desires to tie up this Shidi of his and keep him from doing anything reckless!

"Then what does Luo Binghe plan to do?" Shen Yuan questioned knowingly. Luo Binghe had no plan, neither of the Bai Zhan disciples did. His coming to Ling Shou had been a lucky impulse decision all on its own, but now to have to come to terms with the fact he would have to hide his unsealed heritage from the entirety of Cang Qiong, and at the state of cultivation he was in; he'd be lucky if he wasn't found out by dawn.

When no response was given, Shen Yuan sighed heavily to himself. They couldn't go about like this with Luo Binghe walking around haphazardly. But with how stubborn these Shixiong of his were, there was very little doubt in his mind that they wouldn't see reason!

He kicked his feet against the ground, they had until the sun rose before someone noticed he was gone, and if they didn't have things set in stone by then...he didn't like to imagine the reactions of his peak siblings, let alone the rest of Cang Qiong...And heavens forbid his brothers found out! It was only when such an unsavory possibility came to mind that Shen Yuan came up with an idea.

"What if it was an exchange of sorts between the three of us?" Intrigued by the idea, both Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe made sounds of affirmation. "Since Liu-shixiong hasn't been trained to control and manipulate qi as I have, it wouldn't be safe to have him help Luo-shixiong. But I could still do it, and afterward, Liu-shixiong could help clear my meridians so Without-a-Cure wouldn't be an issue. At least until Luo-shixiong can get a grasp on the variations within himself."

Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge shared a glance, still on less than comfortable terms with one another, such a plan would unwittingly force them to sit down with each other to enact such an exchange without the needless hassle of constant relocation. It wasn't the most desirable plan, though any plan where Shen Yuan recklessly put himself into dire situations like this would always be unsavory; it was the only plan they had.

Begrunged and frustrated, Luo Binghe conceded. "...Very well, it...should work."

Liu Qingge only made a small sound of agreement as Shen Yuan nodded confidently, striding closer to Luo Binghe so he could take his hand. "Then this Shidi will finish what he started earlier?" The smirk on his face annoyed Luo Binghe. Not in the way he wanted to hit him as he would anyone else, but annoyed as in he wished to...he wasn't sure what he wished to do, and he wasn't about to think about it any further.

The qi that threaded through his meridians was comforting, no matter how stressed its presence made him feel. It took quite a bit of effort within himself to allow this Shidi of his to do what he set out for, evening out both the spiritual and demonic qi within him until Luo Binghe felt the ache within his body recede, and he was able to control himself enough that the glowing red huadian on his forehead slowly vanished.

The second he was sure that it was finished, Luo Binghe pulled his hands away, eyeing Shen Yuan skeptically as the young man exhaled shakily. Luo Binghe knew he would never say it, that he would never admit it, but he could see the shake in his Shidi's hand, the ashen complexion of his face as he tried to put on a strong facade.

Who told you to do that? Why do you still do that? Stop it. Be honest with me, don't hide anything from me again.

However, before Shen Yuan could even try to use his voice to reassure the Bai Zhan disciples with a bittersweet lie and a honeyed voice, Liu Qingge had already stepped forward and placed his hand on Shen Yuan's shoulderblade, targeting his lung meridian first and foremost as he pushed a steady stream of qi through the Ling Shou disciple's spiritual veins.

Shen Yuan groaned as the steadfast and near scorching qi of the future war god pushed through his meridians. Forcing the clogs and blockages to let loose and flow once again. Feeling returned to his torso, his ribs and lungs didn't ache, but despite the positives, there were always negatives. Seeing blood slowly drip from Shen Yuan's nose, only to then come up from his throat with a pained cough, brought back too many terrible memories Luo Binghe would soon rather forget than ever experience again.

Startled and immediately furious, he shouted, "Stop it!"

Liu Qingge grabbed Shen Yuan's left shoulder with his free hand, stabilizing him and ensuring the connection wouldn't be cut off due to the proximity being broken. "It's the blockages clearing out. The same thing happens during a qi deviation."

"I'm fine..." Shen Yuan waved his hand weakly, barely stifling a groan when he felt his heart meridian finally clear up. It was akin to finally cracking your back after a long bout of stiffness and discomfort. While it soothed the discomfort, first came that immediate shock of pain before everything settled back into place.

"You're a terrible liar." Luo Binghe muttered bitterly. A huff out of the nose from Shen Yuan was his response, the shorter pursing his lips and pouting, no matter how much Shen Yuan denied and argued that he doesn't pout.

It didn't sway him in the slightest. This person...Luo Binghe had always thought him to be untrustworthy concerning his only disciple, and unreliable to depend on because the only person he cared about was himself. When in reality it was the exact opposite. Shen Yuan was someone to trust and go to in a time of need. Being someone who acted without concern for himself, he would rather suffer than fail the person who came to him for help. But just as vice versa, he would both unintentionally and willfully neglect himself, saying again and again, "I'm fine, don't worry." He never even brought up what he was facing, preferring to suffer in silence in solitude rather than ever admit the truth to a single living soul.

Tianyan...Yuan, how untrustworthy you truly are. How do you expect this one to leave you alone now? To be left to your own devices, would you intentionally drive me mad by acting so recklessly? Or have you no sense of self-preservation?

"They should be cleared." Liu Qingge spoke with an impassive tone. One who was not familiar with him would assume that he cared little for the person in front of him, or that he was annoyed by having been dragged into this. But in truth, to the eyes of someone who had made it his priority to memorize every twitch and sign that Liu Qingge was affected by something, whether it be good or bad. Luo Binghe could see the squint of his eyes, the furrow of sword-like brows, and the tightness of thin lips.

It was almost a reassuring feeling that came over him at the sight of his Shixiong's worry for this Shidi of theirs. At least he could be assured that he wouldn't have to argue with both Liu Qingge and Shen Yuan over something like this.

"Many thanks, Liu-shixiong." Shen Yuan sighed at the cleansing feeling. He hadn't realized how tense and sore he was, but now that his meridians had been cleared, he suddenly felt as light as a feather, as if someone had finally cracked that irritating joint in his back that he couldn't get to on his own.

"Mn."

Liu Qingge eyed both of them. One with disheveled robes and hair, still slightly warm from the fever he had experienced, and the other only in a single layer of sleeping robes. He cleared his throat and looked away quickly, saying, "We should all go back now. Before someone realizes we're all missing."

Shen Yuan nodded quickly. He was getting cold anyway, he hadn't thought to wear more than just his sleeping robes, and they weren't particularly thick. "We should try to meet here at least every other week, or whenever Luo-shixiong believes an imbalance is occurring."

"How will Shidi know we are here?" He wanted to offer the idea of using his skills in the dream arts to speak to them both during the night, but quickly forwent the idea. Meng Mo was still a present pain in the ass at the moment, and the last people that the old leecher needed to meet were Liu Qingge and Shen Yuan.

"We could meet up during the day? Though...Shizun has told me I won't be allowed to go to Bai Zhan anymore, and Song-shixiong told me he'd take over my sword training."

"What!?" Both Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe shouted in unison. One was personally aggrieved, and the other was unwittingly annoyed. Neither chose to acknowledge the unison, and neither looked away from Shen Yuan.

"It wasn't my idea! I woke up to my brothers even contemplating locking me up in Ling Shou! So, I suppose there is that to be grateful for that they didn't go through with the idea."

Both were struck speechless, neither could find the words nor the willpower to say a thing. Lock up!? What the hell!? Shen Qingqiu was an arrogant bastard, true. But Yue Qingyuan would stoop so low!? They both would!?

"We will come to Ling Shou then." Liu Qingge huffed. A strange feeling overwhelmed his chest; it made his stomach lurch and left a sour and tart taste in his mouth. Who was Song Rong to try and take his place during Shen Yuan's swordsmanship lessons? He was the Head Disciple of Bai Zhan Peak; he could easily subdue that Ling Shou disciple. What could he teach Shen Yuan that Liu Qingge couldn't do ten times better? What the hell was this taste in his mouth!?

From his side, Luo Binghe poorly hid his humor at the look on Liu Qingge's face, stifling his snickers behind his hand while the future war god sent him a frosty glare in return. Not that it did anything but only fueled the fire of laughter boiling in Luo Binghe's stomach.

This Shixiong of his looked like he had eaten a lemon! The moment Shen Yuan made the statement, one would assume the Bai Zhan Peak Head Disciple had bitten into a tart lemon, mistaking it for a sweet apple!

Shen Yuan nodded at the statement, oblivious to Luo Binghe's amusement and Liu Qingge's ire. Somehow still tired despite his short coma, Shen Yuan lost his inhibitions for a moment as he said, "As long as Liu-shixiong doesn't render me blind for the second time in this one's life, then there is very little that could go wrong!" He laughed at his own statement, but quickly realized the inappropriateness of it, and snapped his mouth shut with the audible click of his jaw.

However, his misplaced humor did not fall on deaf ears, and both Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge were rendered speechless at the self-expensive quip. "Ah, don't mind that. I was just–."

"What is Shen Yuan referring to?" Luo Binghe cut in swiftly. Such a joke, at the expense of himself, was clearly made without intention. But that didn't mean that Luo Binghe's curiosity was not taken hold of immediately.

Shen Yuan puffed out a breath heavily. Thinking of that moment in this life, it was no more than a sudden and painful memory for him. It brought no feelings of powerlessness that he used to suffer from due to the memories of his first life. But it reminded him of his weaknesses, it reminded him of his failures, and the pain he had made others suffer due to his own carelessness.

Yes, it was not a memory that made him upset, not for the sake of himself, but over the remembrance of the pain he caused those he loved and loved him in turn. It was a memory he wanted to grow from.

So, it caused him no pain, but only grievance as he said, "This one was referring to my previous master, Chen Qiang...We dueled once when I stood up for my Jiejie, Bai Daiyu. I did not win. He had a whip, and this one had a sword. This Yuan wasn't as skilled and became careless; he took the opportunity among others, and blinded me before throwing me in the cellar."

He couldn't help but remember his past life. He had made the same mistake back then, only he had been trying to run, not fight back. The myriad of scars across his back and the forever unhealing wound on his neck were a permanent reminder of his uselessness. It made his heart bitter to think about, to think of his foolishness, his naivety. It was those very qualities of his that made his Jiejie suffer and then lose her life in that fire.

Chuckling bitterly, he couldn't help but add. "I suppose I was lucky, however. If I had tried to run away, he would have undoubtedly lashed my back, perhaps even caught my throat and left me mute instead of blind." Realizing again that his sense of humor was rather morbid, he clicked his mouth shut. He wasn't talking to people who knew him well, even if he felt as though he knew them. He shouldn't be so open and willing with this information. Only his peak marital siblings knew because he had blabbed it out on his first day out of sheer overwhelmed nervousness.

It was just as his Da-ge and Er-ge said. He needed to be more careful.

Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge, however, felt as though the mirror of their worlds had shattered.

Questions they expected to never have answered were answered by a morbid joke made at the expense of Shen Yuan by none other than the very person who had suffered. A simple truth that was so easily said that it was laughed at, and yet they could not bring themselves to even breathe out a sigh of relief.

"What...What did he..." Liu Qingge was never one to talk, only ever saying a few sentences at most. So, to be suddenly stuck with so many questions pounding against his heart and head, he could barely bring his tongue to utter his inquiry.

Shen Yuan, however, understood that conversations such as these were heavy and often incredibly uncomfortable. So, he took no offense at answering the questions that he had sparked. "A brothel. That's where I lived." He was in no way ashamed of such a thing. He adored his Jiejie, and the brothel sisters were a family to him, even if he hadn't been all that close to them. He would not deny their time in his heart. "I mostly served tables and played nice with the patrons who wanted me. Though most of them were rather disgusting. Especially Cheng Qiang's friends...For a good while, they made me scared of Alphas." He felt the need to shrug, perhaps as a way to shrug off the words he said.

He had told his brothers all of this. There had been times when they sat down, and he spoke like this with them. They knew it all, and even more, he didn't want to keep any secrets from them in this life. So, to say it again, to people he felt as if he had known for two lifetimes, it came without him consciously thinking about it.

Liu Qingge, however, felt a sense of relief and an unbearable weight in his chest. As questions were answered, more were formed in their place. You said that back then, too...Are you still scared?

"Do they still scare you?"

"No. My brothers helped me, and my Da-Shijie."

Luo Binghe, on the other hand, couldn't form his questions. Many were for another person, questions that he believed Shen Yuan couldn't answer. So, he merely said, "Is Yuan–shidi happier here?"

Surprised by the question, and purposefully ignoring the close address, Shen Yuan made sure to smile as he answered, "This one is happy here. I'm not locked up there anymore, and I don't have to deal with those sick assholes!" He scrunched his nose as he suddenly remembered a bitter memory. "Jerks always called me Chen-guniang too...ugh!" Shen Yuan murmured the last part to himself. Who'd want to be a Chen, huh!? Kill him first!

They couldn't help but laugh at the expression, and Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe didn't feel the need to ask anything else. So, the young demon merely stepped forward and grabbed Shen Yuan's hand. "Does Yuan-shidi need us to walk him back?"

"Do you want to get beaten by Ci Liang?"

"She wouldn't—."

"She would. She did the same thing to Shang-shixiong, too." Shen Yuan interrupted Luo Binghe. "He's an Omega, too. So, I don't get it."

"He's untrustworthy." Liu Qingge snapped, glaring heartily at the mention of the mousy An Ding Peak Head Disciple. He hadn't forgotten that traitor, and while he could not do so without evidence, and not quite yet either, he would repay the slight from their past life. He had made sure in this life to keep a close eye on him, even if he hadn't discovered anything yet. "Shen Yuan should stay away from him."

"You and Ci Liang are mean." Shen Yuan huffed, earning a disgruntled sound from the Bai Zhan Peak Head Disciple. "Qinghua is my closest friend, thank you very much! I know he's trustworthy."

Even Luo Binghe cringed at that. Closest friend!? Again!? Fuck! He had had enough of that annoying as-hell Shishu of his in his last life! Now he had to deal with the two-faced bastard again because he just couldn't stay away from Shen Yuan!?

"Can't Yuan-shidi make better friends?"

"Can't Luo-shixiong stop judging unfairly? First Yingzi, and now Qinghua!"

"You said you wanted to marry your fucking horse!" Luo Binghe screeched. That's it, his Shidi would just have to choose who was to go or stay. Either Shang Qinghua or Xiao Yingzi, he couldn't keep both!

"I stick by that, thank you very much!" Shen Yuan retorted, slipping his hand out of Luo Binghe's to cross his arms over his chest as he began to walk away. "Yingzi has better manners anyway!"

Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe cringed at the statement. The fucking horse. Why did it have to be the fucking horse!?

"He's a horse." Liu Qingge groaned, and Shen Yuan turned his head over his shoulder and shrugged.

"If this one has to have a husband, then Xiao Yingzi is the best candidate. Or Qinghua and I could just do a platonic marriage." It wouldn't be the first time anyway, it may even work in their favor as it did in their past life too!

"Absolutely not."

"No."

Shen Yuan scoffed at their denial. "Go on, both of you! If you two keep raising such a fuss, you'll get caught and Ci Liang will throw you in the Spider-Bat caves!" With that, he started to make his way back. If his Shixiong found their way here all on their own, then they could make it back just as easily!

Left to watch his silhouette fade into the distance, Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe spared a glance at each other before turning the other way themselves. It was only when they reached the rainbow bridge that Luo Binghe said something.

"Liu-shixiong, about Heshun City—."

"I said we'll talk about that later."

Damn it, Liu Qingge! When exactly is later!? Be a man and face your fucking soulmate!

Chapter Text

The screeching could be heard through the clearing. Birds squawked and flew off at such a sound, and Shen Yuan's eyebrow twitched agitatedly at the noise.

Why did he feel the sudden need to swat at something?

"Cucumber bro!" 

Ah, that was why.

Feeling the footsteps approach against the echo of the ground, Shen Yuan stood in time to catch Shang Qinghua as the young man latched onto him the second he came close enough. "What are you screeching for?"

Shang Qinghua gasped in a few weak lungfuls of air, panting as he said, "I may have...uhm, bolted past Ci Liang on my way...ugh, here!"

"And you're not dead?"

"I think I caught her by surprise."

Shen Yuan huffed at that. He still didn't understand why Ci Liang didn't like Shang Qinghua or why Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe didn't like him! None of them even spent time together! How the hell would they know who was best to like and not!?

"You think she knows you came out here?" Shen Yuan questioned with a shrug, helping Shang Qinghua to stand securely on his own two feet.

"What else do I come out here for?" The mousy young man snickered, sighing as he looked behind himself. He would not be snuck up on! Hell no! Ci Liang was scary as shit!

"So, what was so important you couldn't wait until I'm out of house arrest?" Okay, he wasn't entirely on house arrest, but he wasn't allowed to leave the peak without someone with him. So, he called it what he felt was deserving. 

"I figured out which alternate universe this is." 

"Sit down." 

The two quickly sat on the ground where Shen Yuan had been meditating and trying to hone his senses further about the world around him. It required almost no spiritual energy; the better he got with it. So, he made sure it was one of his strongest skills. 

"So, what have you figured out?" Shen Yuan asked once they were seated. He was used to the ground; his knees having toughened up to such conditions that not even his legs grew numb from their position. But Shang Qinghua was not as well adept, so he continued to groan and repeatedly shuffle around until he found a somewhat decent position that didn't make his thighs ache.

"For one, I know why Luo Binghe is our age this time! Well, your age, I'm still older than both of you!" He spoke proudly, as if age mattered to any of Cang Qiong. Most, if not all, of the cultivators, disciples, and masters would all cultivate to immortality at some point, and if they didn't, it was out of their own free will. 

Shen Yuan rolled his eyes and waved his hand for Shang Qinghua to get on with it. The matter of age was never much of a pressing issue once someone cultivated to Mid-Core Formation, so he didn't see the point in Shang Qinghua: someone who had already hit Mid-Core Formation once, to be invested in something trivial to them. "Get on with it."

"Anyway," Shang Qinghua pulled out a scroll from his sleeve. It was getting colder, autumn was turning to winter quicker than he liked, so he had to wear extra layers to stay warm. On the scroll was everything he remembered, and he laid it out between them. "Here, I wrote everything down!"

"Blind, Airplane."

"Right, right!" Chuckling nervously, he snatched it back, ignoring the teasing smirk on his friend's face. "I'll just read it."

"That would be for the best, at least until I can figure out how to make a talisman that can read my books aloud for me."

"Wait, are you actually–. Oh, hush!" Shang Qinghua scoffed and opened the scroll with a notable amount of attitude. "First off, Luo Binghe is in our generation this time because I aged up Su Xiyan, and Tianlang-Jun was already immortal, so that was out of the way, so his parents had him earlier and–."

"Hold on, who is Su Xiyan? I remember a brief mention of Tianlang-Jun in the very beginning, but you never named his mother."

"Oh, right," Shang Qinghua thought it all out quickly. There were a lot of characters that he had wanted to introduce to give the story more depth, but ended up having to be scrapped since they didn't match the ridiculous amount of papapa action that the readers wanted. "Su Xiyan is Luo Binghe's mother. She was Huan Hua Palace's Head Disciple and hand-chosen by Lao Gongzhu, the Old Palace Master. She found Tianlang-Jun wandering around and stuck around with him when she learned that he didn't harbor any bad intentions and even wanted to find a way to make peace with the humans."

"He wanted to make peace with–!? Wait, Luo Binghe's mother was from Huan Hua Palace?" Shen Yuan found himself mulling it over. It would make sense, especially as it had been mentioned in the book once or twice that Luo Binghe took after his mother more than his father, and subsequently, the Old Palace Master likely saw his long-lost disciple in Luo Binghe. Which was why he was so welcoming to him in the beginning, even if it would be the cause of his downfall eventually. "Wait...Then why did she die so early on? In the beginning, it was said she was poisoned and had to absorb the poison into her own body to keep Luo Binghe safe when he was first born."

Shang Qinghua cleared his throat nervously at that. As he said, there were a lot of factors and plot points that he had to scrap from PIDW, one of those being Luo Binghe's parents' backstories. "Well...Su Xiyan was the head disciple, but Lao Gongzhu also had...different feelings for her, and when he realized that she and Tianlang-Jun had eloped together in secret, he was furious and locked her up in the Water Prison and forced her to drink the poison before he set off to trap Tianlang-Jun under Bai Lu Mountain with the help of the rest of the great sects with a fake letter from 'Su Xiyan,' asking him to run away with her. But she broke out and well..."

Shen Yuan felt his throat run dry at that. So, not only was Su Xiyan killed in a rather torturous way, but she had to choose between herself and her own son. Not to mention her own husband, who had been lured into a trap by her trusted Shizun, who had revolting feelings for her! However, at the thought of the rest of the sects joining in, Shen Yuan couldn't help but wonder if his brothers had been a part of it, both in this life and the past.

He felt sick just thinking about it. However, a sympathetic feeling also overcame him; he knew just as well as anyone else what it felt like to be surrounded by people you couldn't trust, and the person you should have been able to trust only turned out to be someone disgusting. "And...And Tianlang-Jun?"

"He was tricked successfully, never even knew about Luo Binghe, and was trapped beneath Bai Lu Mountain with seventy-two iron chains and forty-nine strong spells."

"Holy shit..." Shen Yuan felt sick. Genuinely sick. Who could be so cruel? Especially toward someone who had harbored no ill intent? The literal saintly ruler of the Demon Realm, nonetheless! Thousands of years of endless battling could have been left to the past if only they would have listened! "What of this timeline? Did it happen here, too? Luo Binghe knew he was a heavenly demon when the seal broke just a few days ago, so what's different here other than those few things?"

"Wait...he knew!? How the fuck do you know he knew!?" Shang Qinghua screeched, earning a disinterested shrug from Shen Yuan.

"He and Liu Qingge snuck into Ling Shou a few nights ago, and we worked some things out to hide his heritage for the time being."

"Don't..." Baffled, he had to take a few deep breaths. "Don't you three never get along!?"

"We found mutual ground for the time being. Now start explaining!"

Shang Qinghua sucked air through his teeth sharply. This was where he had to brace himself just in case his oldest friend tried to throttle him. "So...It did happen in this timeline, too. Just...later than originally."

Shen Yuan already felt doom settling overhead like a hurricane and coldly asked, "What do you mean, later?"

"I mean..." Sending a quick prayer to the heavens for his survival, Shang Qinghua pushed himself back a few inches from his friend. "Luo Binghe was about...eight years old when Lao Gongzhu and the rest of the great sects attacked Tianlang-Jun with a trap. They hid Luo Binghe near the Luo River where he had been born and Su Xiyan was captured, given the poison, and she escaped in time to seal his demonic heritage before sending him floating down the river in a small raft before she died...then the washerwoman found him and from then on it was supposed to stick to canon."

Shen Yuan felt his throat go dry. 

So, not only did Luo Binghe get the chance in this life to grow up and know his parents, his demonic heritage, and his natural born right as the heir to the throne of the Demon Realm, but he also watched his mother die, and likely heard the revelry of people celebrating his father's imprisonment? Only to be stripped of his title and family and adopted by a kind woman who inevitably died a horrid death. From what Shen Yuan remembered of the prologue of PIDW, Luo Binghe was homeless until he came to Cang Qiong Mountain after his adopted mother died. He didn't reach Cang Qiong Mountain until he was fourteen, and his adopted mother died when he was ten. 

"We're all so dead." 

This backstory was even worse than the original!

Shang Qinghua groaned like an animal in pain, rubbing his hand over his face as he nodded. "Bro...I never even finished the rough draft for this AU! I have no clue how it's supposed to end!"

"You're kidding..." At this point, he was desperate. If the AU wasn't at least given some semblance of an alternate ending, didn't that mean that the ending would naturally revert to canon? "Qinghua, for the love of the heavens, say you're kidding!"

"It was when I died..." Shang Qinghua stated pitifully, lighting a million candles within his heart for himself and his dear friend. "I died because I spilled noodles on my computer when I was working on this AU! I tried to unplug my computer but ended up electrocuting myself instead! I never even finished the rough draft!" He fell onto his back, uncaring of the small stones that prodded against his spine. At this point, the despair in his heart from retelling his discoveries outweighed his physical discomfort. 

Shen Yuan slumped over, propping his elbows against his knees as he held his face and groaned. So, not only did Luo Binghe have an even worse backstory in this universe, but the ending would likely diverge to canon. They may as well start building the coffins. 

"Wait...What about the Immortal Alliance Conference?" At this, Shang Qinghua sat up, bemused. Shen Yuan continued with his theory, if not a little hopeful. "Luo Binghe's seal broke because of a dream...I think. I'm still not sure. But when it broke, I helped him hide it again, but it didn't require the Immortal Alliance Conference. So, we're already steering away from canon! Since by this time, with how old he is, he should have been in the Endless Abyss already!"

"So, you think..."

"Yes. If those things were able to change, then maybe we can change the ending too! Since you never wrote one down in stone, it basically means it's an open ending!"

"And we can keep him from reaching the canon end!" 

Shang Qinghua sprang up again, smiling and excited. If this were true, then they actually had a decent chance! So far, even with knowing of his heritage for all this time, Luo Binghe didn't seem to harbor any ill will toward Cang Qiong specifically. Perhaps just Huan Hua Palace, which was more than understandable. 

"Or at the very least keep him from destroying Cang Qiong Mountain, especially if he had fond memories of it instead of traumatic ones, and he's already in Bai Zhan Peak, and I think he's well respected there." Shen Yuan stood up and began to pace back and forth, thinking to himself as he tried to formulate some kind of plan. "So far, he doesn't seem to be facing any of the abuse from the past life, and I think he gets along well with the Bai Zhan disciples. He's a core disciple as well, so he clearly has some power of ranking on his side, and I haven't heard anything worrying in terms of him regarding my Er-ge."

"So, we might already be on the right track?" Shang Qinghua questioned hopefully. Entirely used to his friend's pacing habits, he found a soothing familiarity in each calculated step that only served to repeat itself to restart the pattern. 

"Not quite." Shen Yuan snapped his fingers, pausing once an idea came to him. "We need to get Tianlang-Jun on our side."

"Bro...He's trapped beneath a literal mountain! Not to mention, he's been under there for at least a decade now! That's more than enough time for hatred to grow and fester! Besides, what could he do for us? It's not like—." Revelation came over him, and Shang Qinghua's eyes nearly bulged out of his head as he sternly said, "No. No...Yuan, don't even think about it!"

"I can break him out." 

"No! Holy shit no! Bro! Shidi!"

Shen Yuan grinned nearly manically. Shang Qinghua knew that face; he knew it all too well. It was always the expression Shen Yuan got whenever he produced an idea that was sure to put him in some kind of danger, and despite immortality, give Shang Qinghua gray hairs. 

"But it could work!"

"Or just hear me out here," He stood up, cleared his throat, and dusted himself off before stepping forward to his friend and clutching him by the shoulders as he shouted, "He would kill you and everyone else in the Human Realm once he was free!"

"Or..." Pushing his friend off of him, he gestured with his hands as he spoke, "He would be thankful enough to at least hear me out so I could explain everything! And once he saw that Luo Binghe was well taken care of by Cang Qiong, he would at least feel merciful enough to put in a good word with Luo Binghe once he takes over the three realms!"

"No! It's already bad enough we have to deal with the son, your fucking soulmate! Now you want to bring in the father!?"

Shen Yuan huffed at that, crossing his arms over his chest. "Fate's cruel trick against Liu Qingge, Luo Binghe, and me has nothing to do with this! You said it yourself, Tianlang-Jun never wanted war, and he loved everything human! Surely he'd be willing to listen!"

Shang Qinghua felt the urge to tug at his own hair, but instead cupped his hands together as he shouted. "Yeah, that was before he was literally trapped underneath a mountain, his wife was killed by her own sect, and his son was sent floating down a river!"

"But his son is still alive! Once I tell him that and reassure him that Luo Binghe is safe and well in Cang Qiong and that I plan to help him escape, he will at least not hate Cang Qiong Mountain as a whole! So, whenever Luo Binghe conquers the three realms, he at least won't kill everyone!"

"Once you tell him!? Bro, how do you even expect to–."

Shen Yuan couldn't help but smile a little. He would be a liar if he said he wasn't excited to see this plan through. He had been thinking it over for the past few days, how was he to help Luo Binghe in this life? To help him reach his full potential without the need for unnecessary trauma that would only fester into a burning hatred. This was likely the perfect and, albeit only, plan he had! Not to mention Tianlang-Jun was a full-blooded heavenly demon, so at the very least, even if it would only be for a short while, he would likely match, if not rival, Luo Binghe's strength! 

"I need your help to sneak out." 

This was it. This was how he was going to die. Shen Yuan was going to get either severely hurt or killed doing this, and the two psycho big brothers were going to skin him alive! "Absolutely not."

"This will work!"

"You're a walking health hazard!"

Shen Yuan rolled his eyes and strengthened his resolve. "Do you have any better ideas? Or do you want to let Luo Binghe eventually find out what happened to his father and, more likely than not, free Tianlang-Jun himself so the two can wreak havoc together?"

Shit. That was a good point.

Regardless, Shang Qinghua couldn't help but hold his breath, pacing back and forth as he exhaled heavily and cursed violently under his breath. All the while, Shen Yuan listened and smiled knowingly as he waited for his friend's resolve to run thin enough to agree with him.

Annoyed by such an expression, Shang Qinghua questioned every life decision he ever made with a mocking tone. "Tell me why I married you back then, wife?" 

Shen Yuan chuckled at the question. It was not one of his proudest memories, and one such instant was the sole reason that Shang Qinghua was the only person in their past life to know him so well and to ever see him in such vulnerable positions that he had been in back then. "Because it was my first time trying alcohol, and you drank too much, and we swore to never speak a word of it to anyone else in fear of my brothers finding out if we tried to divorce, husband." He mocked back. They both only ever deployed such names against each other when they felt the need, normally when one or the other was being stupid. 

Shang Qinghua shuddered at the memory. Truly, they both had been incredibly stupid back then, and at the time, he had nearly died from fright the morning he and Shen Yuan woke up in the same room with the nefarious marriage certificate that they had signed in their drunken stupor, mocking them from its place on the table. In the end, it truly didn't change a thing in their relationship, aside from giving him an out to any of Qi Qingqi's interrogations as to why he didn't have a cultivation partner.

However, it did leave him with a few bruises more than once when he shamelessly told his marital sister that he already had a wife who didn't live with him. 

Ugh, but now that I'm an Omega here...could that even work the same way?

Shang Qinghua groaned long and loud, dramatizing his discontent with every part of this plan. "Fine! May the heavens find mercy for us...how do you want to do it?"

Shen Yuan leaned against a tree as he thought. He still wasn't allowed to leave Ling Shou Peak. So, sneaking off to Bai Lu Forest was going to be...troublesome. "What about your trade routes to Huan Hua Palace?"

"The trade routes?" Shang Qinghua murmured, thinking it over. It had been a few years since he personally had made any ventures through Huan Hua Palace's territories, and seeing as he was the head disciple, most of his work was in An Ding Peak. "I suppose they come close enough to Bai Lu Mountain, regardless, Huan Hua has an array set up there that anyone who ventures in will get lost without a guide."

"That won't be a problem for me." Shen Yuan shrugged. Those types of arrays were meant to fool the eyes, leaving people walking in circles. But if one knew how to travel through the flow of energy, then almost no array could keep him trapped. "All I must do is follow the demonic energy of His Majesty, and all will go as it should."

"How do you plan to get back?" Shang Qinghua questioned. "You don't have your sword yet."

"How long do the exchanges last?"

"At the least two days."

"Then I will make the visit that long and sneak my way back into whatever cart they bring with them before they leave for Cang Qiong."

Shang Qinghua huffed at the statement. It wasn't the worst plan, but there were still enough variables there that could lead to potential disaster. "How do you expect them not to notice a whole person sneaking into the cart?"

"You'll cover for me; you'll be the one driving it."

"Oh, come on!"

Shen Yuan raised a brow at that, asking expectantly, "Who again was the one to create an alternate universe worse than the original canon?"

Shang Qinghua whined, stepping forward to slump against his friend, not even fazed when he earned a few good swats against the head, each one without a single bit of heat behind it. "Cucumber bro! You can't hold that over my head forever!"

"Fuck that!" Shen Yuan hissed. "I can and I will!"

"You're so mean!"

The two held a stalemate of silence for a moment, neither willing to back down or change the subject. So, Shang Qinghua rolled his eyes as he asked, "What about Ci Liang and your brothers? They'll notice your absence for two days."

"I'll tell them that I've gone to meditate in the forest for a few days. I do that regularly anyway, they won't be surprised, and Ci Liang wouldn't dare to bother someone when they are trying to cultivate through mediation."

"It is concerning how well you have planned this out." Shang Qinghua grumbled. 

Shen Yuan shrugged. "Now, when does the next shipment for Huan Hua Palace leave?"

"Three days."

Just as expected, his plan worked perfectly. His brothers were more than content with the idea that he was taking his 'condition' seriously and choosing to rehabilitate himself on his own terms in the forest for a couple of days. Ci Liang was just as supportive, packing him with a qiankun pouch of food, water, and the pills he had been prescribed by Shan Lielin just in case they were needed.

The pills weren't optional, but he knew she liked to at least give him the guise of a choice, even if it was a decision already set in stone.

Sneaking into the cart headed for Huan Hua Palace was surprisingly easy. It almost made him concerned about how easy it truly was. Someone could just slip under the tarp, and the An Ding disciples would be none the wiser of it! 

Shang Qinghua led the group, giving the excuse that their Shizun had wanted to be sure that this shipment in particular reached Huan Hua Palace entirely unscathed. Which wasn't a complete lie, apparently, there were a few rare artifacts they were transporting that they had borrowed from Huan Hua Palace, and everyone knew of that sect's stinginess when it came to their treasures.

They had only stopped twice, and upon their second stop, Shang Qinghua carefully lifted the tarp and whispered, "You're all clear, Cucumber bro, go!"

Shen Yuan wasted no time, jumping out of the cart and running so quickly that even all Shang Qinghua saw was a blur of dark purple robes and black hair. He could feel the array that surrounded the area the second he stepped within its borders, and knowing Huan Hua Palace, it meant that there likely would be someone to come check out the disturbance he caused at any moment. 

He didn't have a moment to lose. 

Just as he had expected, finding his way through the array was no trouble; easily finding the faint traces of demonic qi further into the forest, he followed without any hesitation. He could feel the sunlight being snuffed out by the thick canopy of trees, likely making the ground dark and difficult to traverse for someone who relied on sight alone.

Such a revelation left him slightly antsy. Understanding something of that sort was one thing, but when one was left to their own thoughts, and even without his sight, he couldn't help but morbidly wonder what creatures could travel the forest floor without ever being detected by a person's sight, hiding within the shadows only to sneak up on anyone who dared to venture too close. 

Ignoring such thoughts, he pushed himself to walk a little faster. He remembered to bring his dagger, strapped safely to his leg just as his Da-ge had taught him. It would have been too suspicious to take a bow with him, not to mention his bow had been lost in the battle of Heshun, and it felt almost insulting to take just any random bow from the armory. 

He'd make himself a new one. He swore to himself just that, but for the time being, his dagger would have to do. 

He tried to reassure himself that he wouldn't need it anyway. He was coming here to talk and try to strike some semblance of a peace treaty with the saintly ruler of the Demon Realm, after all, it would do him no aid to show any form of hostility.

Only, it was the sudden demonic qi heading straight for him that made him draw his dagger swiftly, just in time to hear the rustling of grass near his feet as whatever approached came a little too close for comfort. 

Jumping out of the way, he took to the trees. He could still hear the thing moving beneath him, even a soft hiss bleeding through the dense foliage of grass. A snake, perhaps? Even though Huan Hua Palace was to the southern borders of the Human Realm, close enough to the east that it was near the Borderlands, but surely not close enough that a demonic creature would willingly trap itself within Huan Hua Palace's array. 

How had it even gotten in here without being detected?

Oh well, there truly was no telling without going down there to figure it out!

Jumping down from his branch, Shen Yuan kept his dagger clutched closely to his chest. He could still sense the creature. It wasn't particularly large by any means, but even the smallest of creatures from the Demon Realm could be deadly.

"I can sense you; do you mind coming out? I promise I mean no harm." If such a creature were here, it likely meant that it knew where Tianlang-Jun was as well, perhaps arriving before His Majesty with a creature of his realm would show that he truly didn't pose any threat. "I'm just looking for His Majesty Tianlang-Jun, the Saintly Ruler of the Demon Realm. I would like to speak with him, please."

He turned in time to—likely—come face to face with the creature. It slithered closer to him, hissing softly as its head prodded against his leg, inspecting him. He wanted to know what kind of snake this was. There were many species in the Demon Realm, and he had never been given the opportunity in his past life to see any of them for himself, so he was rather curious. 

He tucked his dagger back into its sheath and kneeled, slowly. Muttering a quick prayer that he wouldn't be bitten for his efforts and that if he were bitten, he hoped this snake wasn't venomous. The creature didn't turn from him or hiss, and he could feel the eyes practically boring into him. Please don't bite me, please don't bite me. Da-Shijie...I understand now what you meant when you said that you have to be calm when trying to connect with a random creature.

When his hand met scales, he couldn't help but sigh heavily in relief. That is, until he gently stroked further and found...hair. Hair!? Holy shit! Does this snake have fucking hair!? Hesitantly, he let his hand carefully trace out the creature, the snake indulging him the entire time, but what he found was not the regular head of a snake that he had expected...

But instead, what felt like the swollen head of a human!

Fuck!

He fell back onto his ass from fright. Holy shit! A snake with the head of a human!? What the fuck! He didn't remember reading or learning about any kind of demonic snakes that had such traits! 

Unfortunately, his fright left him even closer to the creature than before, and the snake slithered around his leg before its—all too human—head rested against his thigh and he could feel what felt like a human-ish torso wound around his calf, only without the bones that would normally make it impossible for a person to coil their body in such a way. Holy shit he was about to pass out.

That is until he heard a trilling sound come from the creature, and he suddenly realized that while a part of the snake was wrapped around his leg, the other part was fruitlessly tugging against him, as if trying to drag him...

Oh...Oh, am I being helped? Shit. I'm being rude. I asked for help, didn't I? Shen Yuan tried to shake off his initial fright and shock, carefully pushing himself off of his ass to kneel, leaving his leg that currently supported the creature to stay bent, so as not to jostle his...benefactor?

"This one is Shen Yuan of Ling Shou Peak. Could...uhm, could the benefactor please help me find Tianlang-Jun? I've come to speak with him about his son, Luo Binghe." At that, the creature hissed, long and loud as Shen Yuan quickly realized that the gentle tugging it had been doing earlier was only a mere fraction of the strength it possessed as the head and torso uncoiled from around him, and what he could only assume to be the tail took its place as he was dragged through the grass.

"Wait! I can follow you!" Either he was being ignored, or the creature truly didn't hear him. Either way, it didn't matter as Shen Yuan quickly braced his head, hoping to at least keep himself from suffering from some kind of head injury.

He could explain dirty clothes to his Shijie and Shixiong, but he could not explain a concussion. 

It felt like he had only been dragged along for a minute or so. Which likely meant he had been close before, or the snake was just inhumanly fast, and Shen Yuan's robes were thick enough to save him from having his skin burned raw from being dragged across the forest floor.

When they stopped, Shen Yuan yelped as he went tumbling down a small hill, grunting when he landed on his back. Okay, maybe he would have to get a change of clothes before he returned to Ling Shou; there was likely no way to pass off the state of his robes as just a training accident once he finished his meditation. 

Despite himself, when he heard what almost sounded like a worried hiss from the snake, he couldn't help but grumble indignantly. Wasn't showing up to talk to the Emperor of the Demon Realm with messy clothes and hair seen as disrespectful? Was this snake trying to make things harder for him!?

"Zhuzhi-Lang..." Oh shit, that voice was terrifying. "Who have you brought, nephew?" Gravelly and baritone, Shen Yuan couldn't help but shudder at the mere power held within that voice. That was the voice of an emperor, alright, no matter how...pained it sounded.

Shen Yuan minded his manners and quickly stood up, facing the direction from which he heard the voice. He dusted himself off quickly before bowing respectfully before the trapped emperor. "Junshang, this humble one is Shen Yuan of Ling Shou Peak of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect. If this one may be allowed, he'd like to speak with you."

"Shen Yuan?" The Demon Lord rolled the name along his tongue, eyeing the boy who stood before him, still bowed reverently before him, he couldn't help but measure him up. He had to be only a teenager, fifteen–. No, fourteen at most. He was incredibly tiny. "You've come all this way, haven't you? It's not as though this Emperor could stop you, so say what you would like."

It was the most reassuring answer, but Shen Yuan took it for what it was. He knelt before the heavenly demon, clearing his throat just in case there might have been a chance it would have been unclear. "Thank you, My Lord. This one has come to...to speak with you about your son, Luo Binghe."

The very moment the name left his mouth, it was as though a lightning storm had suddenly come over them before the very mountain. Shen Yuan felt an unmistakable pressure of demonic qi surge against him, and his hair stood on end. If this was the power that Tianlang-Jun held while trapped beneath a mountain and with his entire being sealed away, then he didn't want to imagine how powerful he was at his full strength. 

"Little one..." Even worse! Pissed-off demon lords were even more terrifying! "Say that name again if you dare." 

Shen Yuan gulped down his trepidation, he came here for a reason damn it! He was not leaving just because he struck a nerve! "My...My Lord, this one is Luo Binghe's Shidi in Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, he is a core disciple of Bai Zhan Peak, and...and he has recently broken the seal that was placed upon his demonic blood."

Tianlang-Jun made a deep sound, almost a growl if not for the wetness of his throat, and Shen Yuan couldn't help but feel a deep sympathy for this man before him. Surely, this wasn't an easy subject to be brought up by a complete stranger. "So, you have come here to gloat about how they will attempt to kill my son now that he has been found out? Or am I to believe that you truly know my son?"

Mercy of the heavens! What a morbid assumption! However, it was rather fair given the previous history that Tianlang-Jun had regarding cultivators' learning of his family's heritage. 

"No! Majesty, I–." Oh damn, he really didn't want to give the whole backstory. But it would likely be better if he did, rather than pissing off Tianlang-Jun further. "This one...This one helped Luo-shixiong hide it once again. No one but me and Liu–. And the head disciple of Bai Zhan Peak knows of his heritage. We both have sworn not to say a word to anyone else about it...but it is also why this one has come here today."

That suffocating energy weakened slightly, and Shen Yuan realized just how tight his chest had felt once he could breathe easier. However, there was still hesitation in Tianlang-Jun's voice as he asked, "And why would Shen Yuan do such a thing? Especially the head disciple of Bai Zhan Peak. If this one is not mistaken, Cang Qiong Mountain Sect was rather...hostile toward this Lord all those years ago. I can't imagine them treating my son any better."

Right, shit. Okay, backstory time it is then!

"My Lord, this one has learned of the...trap that Lao Gongzhu set up for His Majesty back then, and this one can say assuredly that Cang Qiong was not aware of such a nefarious trick. Truly...my sect leader and the rest of the peak lords assumed that what Lao Gongzhu said was true, as did the other sects. This one knows that my sect, especially my Shizun, would have never agreed to help him if they had known the truth; however, this one understands that it...it makes no difference now."

"You're quite right, little one, it doesn't." Tianlang-Jun took a long look at the boy in front of him. While his body may be rotting away, his eyesight was still as keen as the day he laid eyes on the Human Realm for the first time. He could see the subtle nervous twitch of the boy's hands, the uncomfortable furrow of his brows, and most notably, the scar that ran across his eyes, thin and decent in color, but undoubtedly deep.

Seeing as each time this boy opened his eyes, it was as if he was looking at cloud-covered jade. 

This boy was too young to know what had happened back then, even more so in the ridiculous idea that he could have ever been a part of it, and yet...he still came all this way, alone, it seemed, to bring the fallen emperor news of his son.

How curious. 

"However, this Lord is rather curious about just exactly what it is that Shen Yuan wants from this venerable one." A rather morbid thought came over him, and it made his mouth taste bitter aside from the blood that had become a familiar and frequent taste on his tongue. His son was likely the same age as this boy, perhaps a bit older, and he could only allow a barely-there sliver of hope to survive within his heart for only a moment as he hoped his son was a least a bit bigger than this boy before him. Did Cang Qiong not feed their disciples? Why was this child so skinny? "If Shen Yuan was not already aware, this Lord is in a rather...stifling condition."

Shen Yuan coughed awkwardly at the statement. This was the part he hadn't thought through as much, and he sorely regretted it. "Ah, yes. This one...This one hoped to...free His Majesty. So that he may reclaim his throne and take Luo Binghe back to the Demon Realm with him, so that he may learn how to control his power without the fear of being discovered."

At that, the fallen emperor made an inquisitive sound. That was something he truly hadn't been expecting. However, having not lost his sense of humor over the years, no matter how morbid it had become, he couldn't help but laugh at the declaration. "Free me? Little one, you are quite ambitious! How did you plan to do such a thing?" 

Shen Yuan felt a bit indignant at being laughed at, but otherwise kept a calm demeanor as he stated firmly. "This one knows many spells and rituals that could create a body for His Majesty. One such is the Sun-Moon Dew Mushroom. This one knows they are located within this forest, and with the proper care and alterations, it could be made to house a demonic being rather than spiritual!"

"Impressive, Shen Yuan has thought this through?"

A little embarrassed at having spoken so proudly, Shen Yuan shuffled awkwardly as he tried to dust off any remnants of dirt and grass on his clothes. That was one annoying thing about being blind; he couldn't tell for the life of him if he looked dirty or not unless that dirt was on his bare skin! "Yes, Junshang. This one has been thinking of a plan to help Luo Binghe since I learned of his heritage a few days ago."

"Only a few days? And you're here so quickly?" He couldn't help but tease this young man a bit more. It was rather impressive to think that this little youthful thing learned so much about his son and him in such a fleeting time, and then made the decision to come here alone to speak with him himself.

"It was the only plan that seemed feasible to this one, Junshang...any others would have put Luo Binghe at risk."

"You care for him then?" 

"I'm sorry? Junshang, I don't understand."

What a little thing! Skinny as hell and all alone, dragged here by Zhuzhi-Lang and so respectful. Son, it seems you have made an incredibly loyal little follower out of this young man! You take after your father! Tianlang-Jun couldn't help but grin at his thoughts. It was quite humorous to him, even if he had to spell it out for this boy, he expected wholeheartedly to hear nothing but words of praise of that son of his as he clarified his question. It would be nice to hear about that son of his, how he was faring in this world without his father at his side. 

"That son of mine, you clearly care about him, don't you? Don't be shy to tell me, so little one! I can see it on your face! Tell me, are you two rather close?" 

Shen Yuan couldn't help it; he laughed a little at the question. He supposed it was a fair assumption, but how far off! "No, Junshang. This one...regards Luo Binghe with familiarity as his Shixiong, but we are not close. We have only recently settled a...uhm...peace treaty of friendship between us. Otherwise, Luo-shixiong hated me up until only just recently, and my Da-ge and Er-ge never liked him either, so...I was rather partial to their opinion as well until recently."

Then what are you doing out here, little one!? Blind as you might be, don't you know the dangers before you!? Son, you made an enemy of this little thing, and here he is helping you! Xiao-Daozhang, if this is how you treat your rivals, do you treat those you actually care for like gods!?

Ignoring his uncouth questions, Tianlang-Jun composed himself enough to ask one that wasn't as...eccentric. "And what caused Shen Yuan to change his mind so recently? Perhaps other than learning of my son's heritage?"

"I merely did my Shixiong a favor by taking a poison arrow for him during a battle we faced while on a mission." Said with such ease and carelessness, Tianlang-Jun for a moment almost believed he had misheard him.

"Poison?"

"Yes, Junshang, Without-a-Cure. Obsession-Boned Demons attacked us."

Tianlang-Jun felt as if he was supposed to laugh, perhaps the boy was making a jest with him, hoping to see just how gullible the fallen emperor truly was, but when he saw the serious countenance of the youth, unknowing and...naive, he realized belatedly that this young man was speaking nothing but the truth. 

Xiao-Daozhang, if you call such a thing 'a favor', what do you think a truly taxing sacrifice is!? I don't blame your Da-ge and Er-ge for not liking my son! I pray that you confuse his affection! Surely you two can't be rivals!

"Xiao-Daozhang truly has a warped perspective."

Shen Yuan ignored the comment, instead taking to deliver his plans to the heavenly demon. "Regardless, this one wishes to help Tianlang-Jun escape and help Luo-shixiong take his rightful place in the Demon Realm. I can speak to Luo-shixiong as well if you like, it would be a little difficult, but I could bring him with me–."

"No."

Caught by surprise, Shen Yuan murmured, "Junshang? I don't understand. Wouldn't it be beneficial for Luo-shixiong to come here? He could help! And he could—."

"Shen Yuan, no."

Defeated, Shen Yuan pursed his lips and huffed when he heard the demon's laughter. "Don't look so upset with me, Xiao-Daozhang, how do you think this one would feel to have his son see him in such a state?"

What does that matter? Family is family, I've seen my brothers in horrific states, and it changed nothing.

"Junshang, what does that matter?" He tried not to think of the memories that came to him. But even as they plagued him, it didn't deter his opinion. "Family is family, no matter the state of being. I've seen my brothers in...terrible positions, just as they have I, but it changes nothing between us!"

"Little one, think of the perspective of a father. While it may have changed nothing for you, I can imagine how terrible it felt for your brothers." Tianlang-Jun cleared his throat; he wasn't used to speaking this much. Whenever he sang to soothe himself, it wouldn't last for very long, as each song he remembered came from a play that his beloved had once taken him to, and such memories tormented him more often than they comforted him. "As a guardian, parent, or otherwise, one of the worst feelings is to have your child see you in such a weakened state. It makes one feel powerless. While you may think no less of your brothers, it likely caused them quite a bit of torment."

He did understand that! He felt that so often! He didn't like his brothers seeing him cry or hurt, as he knew it hurt them. But that didn't mean he'd ever shun them out again! He'd learn his lesson; what did it matter if Tianlang-Jun were his father? Surely Luo Binghe would feel relieved to at least know that his father was alive, no matter the state he was in. 

"This one knows that feeling..." Shen Yuan mumbled. He didn't like the idea of arguing with this demon, but surely he couldn't just let such ideologies persist! "This one hated it when his brothers saw him in such a state. When I was rendered blind, however, it made them feel better to see me there with them. Surely it would be the same for Luo Binghe and Junshang?"

Tianlang-Jun hummed at the thought. What an argumentative little thing. "This one is in quite a terrible state. If Shen Yuan could see, this Emperor doubts he would have stayed this long, even if Zhuzhi-Lang dragged you back all night."

"This one wouldn't have run."

Who could blame him? A decade in silence with only the company of his deformed nephew, unable to speak to him, and only able to hiss and trill when he sang. He'd grown bored and rather lonely, and even if it would scare this daring youth off, he was rather curious. "Then Shen Yuan should approach. This one has learned that the blind identify things through touch. Why doesn't Xiao-Daozhang come to tell for himself?"

His body was trapped beneath the mountain, unable to move; he was entirely conscious for the past decade as his body rotted away, all the while he could do nothing. Only one could not seemingly lift a mountain and force someone beneath, no. He had been bound by seventy-two iron chains and his powers limited by forty-nine strong spells. If someone were to look at him, it would appear as though his torso from his solar plexus and up was poking out from a lithe tavern of the mountain, and he should have been able to wiggle his way out. When in truth, the entire weight of the mountain rested on top of him. 

His left arm stuck out, still bound by chains and talismans, unable to be broken; it had rotted down to the bone. He'd watched as maggots and birds of death came to pick at what was left until rotted bone and only pieces of skin remained. He was a horrid and unsightly person to behold, he hadn't lied when he said Shen Yuan would have surely run away in fright, and even now, he fully expected this youth to make a mad dash to his sect and never look back at the hair-brained decision he had made in a moment of youthful arrogance. 

Only it was when that young man stood from his position, dusting himself off once again despite it making no difference to his appearance, and instead of running, stepped forward until his hand pressed against the mountain wall. "This one won't run away." He hesitantly reached out; he didn't want to accidentally touch the demon lord's face, so he hovered until he felt what he could only assume to be a hand. 

Mangled, he held himself back from cringing at the feel of muscles and the rotting skin touching his hand; he could even feel the bones of his fingers. Regardless, he steeled himself. He'd seen worse; he'd seen his brothers in a worse state. So, he would not run away. 

His hand carefully wrapped around Tianlang-Jun's, squeezing oh-so-carefully as he said proudly, "Junshang was wrong, this one won't run away. He wants to help." 

Staring, Tianlang-Jun could only stare into the cloudy gaze of warm jade. How curious this little thing was. There was a heavy silence, and Shen Yuan squirmed uncomfortably. He hadn't been rude, had he? Tianlang-Jun had offered him to come 'see' for himself. So surely this is what he meant, right? 

Tianlang-Jun's mangled fingers wrapped around Shen Yuan's hand, the rotted bone and decaying muscles of his hand a gory contrast to the small hand in his. Even with his strength depleted, even as he was now, a living corpse cursed to never die, no matter how his body deteriorated. He could still rip the youth's arm clean off his body. Or at the very least his hand. It was an intrusive thing to think about, to see this little thing's face morph into horror and agony once he lost a limb, he belatedly thought of those brothers of his that he had mentioned so often. How they would react to either finding the corpse of Shen Yuan, having bled out from a lost limb, or finding that kind countenance marred by agony and horror? 

No, he didn't blame them for having a bad feeling about that son of his. If his son was even half the man he was, there was no doubt that those brothers were making the safest decisions to keep this...worryingly trustful young man safe. 

"Shen Yuan has terrible tastes in who he should trust."

"This one never said he trusted Junshang," Shen Yuan hummed. It felt weird to have a decaying hand wrapped around his own, but he did his best to ignore it. The smell was bad enough as it was. "This one merely wishes to help him escape so he and Luo Binghe can be safe in the Demon Realm, where they can't be hurt again."

Innocent then. Naive and innocent. You do not have to trust the dragons to place yourself in their lair, little one. Tianlang-Jun had the urge, the unmistakable urge of vengeance to ruin this young man's perspective, to make him see just how cruel and terrible the true nature of man was. Demonic and spiritual alike, human or demon, in the end, they were all the same monsters. 

However, when that hopeful expression lifted the corners of his mouth, he watched as this young cultivator fought back a smile hopelessly, as though he truly couldn't control his own countenance. It reminded him of a fond memory, one that normally would have made him angry, that would have made him scream and roar in outrage until the blood ran his throat dry and he could only manage hoarse cries.

A memory of a little boy, with his eyes and his nose, but with his mother's unruly hair. The furrow of his brows was identical to his mother's but with his father's shape. Red eyes, the color of ruby, stared up at him, a hopelessly hidden smile breaking his face as he tried to hide the little thing he caught behind his back. 

The woman, identical to that little boy, stood behind him. She did not hide the pride in her eyes, the smile on her lips as their boy presented the pheasant that he had caught with his own hands to his father, prideful and hopeful that his gift would be accepted with as much grace as he put the effort into catching it.

Such memories normally only served to remind him of what he had lost. What had been taken from him. Yet here he was. This young man, who had no reason to come to him, who had no reason to break the laws of the Jianghu to speak with him, to plot his escape for him, all for the sake of his son. A young man who apparently had no close relations with him other than the 'favor' this young man had given to him without prompting.

For a moment, he could almost not believe it. Why would such a person exist? How could this world, cold and unforgiving, give life to a person so...Why? If not for someone he loved, what could he benefit from this?

"If Shen Yuan frees me, he understands that I could kill him. That I could lay waste to his sect without further thought?"

"I know." Shen Yuan answered honestly. Of course, he knew. He had fought to the death to protect what was left of it in his past life. He had died at the steps of Qiong Ding Ancestral Hall with only the barest hope that Liu Qingge could get away while he had the chance to live for another day. How couldn't he think of what might happen if he went through with this? Of course, he knew that Tianlang-Jun could do such a thing. But then again, so could Luo Binghe. So, it truly was just a matter of picking your poison. "But His Majesty has been here alone. He suffered a fate undeserving. Shouldn't he have a chance to be free again? Even if there are consequences. I've done dreadful things too, but I was still given a second chance. So, why shouldn't I offer that same courtesy to others if they deserve it?"

Tianlang-Jun couldn't help but chuckle at that. Dreadful things? What could this little thing do that could be so dreadful? "Tell me then, Shen Yuan. What could you have done?"

"I got those I loved hurt...I—. I almost got my Jiejie killed. My brothers suffered because of me, too. I hurt them, and I've treated people poorly because I was scared. I didn't do enough for someone I cared about when he was being hurt, even though I could have stopped it all. So, I've done dreadful things too, but I was still given a second chance...I want to do the same for others."

It felt strange to admit it all aloud. His sins were something that frequently tormented him. Haunted his nightmares and reminded him night after night of his failures. Reminding him that the fate of an entire sect, the fate of his brothers, and his closest friend, was on his hands. Those nightmares never let him forget the blood on his hands, the fire and smoke of a place he should have called home, and the knowledge that in the end, it could have all been different.

If only he had been better.

So, now. Especially with all that he had learned. How could he not offer second chances? How could he be so arrogant as to deny those who deserve it a chance at a better life? Would he not be a hypocrite? 

Even knowing the consequences that might come of this, how could Shen Yuan sit idly by when he knew there was something he could do? Why would he stand idly by when he could stop it all, even if it hurt, or if it were hard? 

Why wouldn't he try to be better?

After a long moment, Tianlang-Jun finally sighed. Soft yet heavy, bearing the weight of his soul and heart. Truly, how could he bear to look at this young man and not feel a sense of heartache? He was always an emotional type, a romantic, theatrical if you may. To hear this youth speak so sorrowfully, as though he had lived through too much in such a short life, it truly was something out of one of the more heart-wrenching plays he had seen in his younger years. 

And even if he didn't speak of such heartfelt sorrows and guilt, how could Tianlang-Jun even dare to question his intent? Blind and so naïve, willing to reach out and hold his rotting hand to prove he was not afraid, despite the apparent knowledge that he could be harmed within an instant if Tianlang-Jun only chose. It was something that almost made a sympathetic fear grow in his heart.

The fact that those brothers of his hadn't all but kept him on a leash by now was shocking, if not a little worrisome. "Fine, fine. Very well, Yuan has twisted my arm."

"So, this one can bring Luo Binghe?"

"No."

Shen Yuan groaned softly. It didn't feel right to hide something like this from Luo Binghe, but if it had to be done, it was for the greater good, wasn't it? "Then this one will go retrieve the Sun-Moon Dew Mushroom now. It should be somewhere here in the forest." He let go of Tianlang-Jun's hand, standing from his position to search for the plant, only when a familiar presence came beside him and a worrisomely human-like head nudged against his leg.

Oh, he would never get used to that.

He had heard Tianlang-Jun say a name when he first arrived, his nephew apparently. He must have been addressing this snake, what was the name again? "Zhuzhi-Lang? Lord Zhuzhi-Lang?"

The snake—. Zhuzhi-Lang hissed affirmatively, and Shen Yuan grinned. At least he had a name to call for whenever he returned, instead of being scared to his wits' end by a...well, he wasn't sure what Zhuzhi-Lang was. If he were Tianlang-Jun's nephew, then he had to be a heavenly demon too, right?

"Does Zhuzhi-Lang know where it is?" Another affirmative hiss, and Shen Yuan already felt better about his chances. However, when he thought of the torso and head he had felt earlier against his leg, he couldn't help but wonder if something had happened to Zhuzhi-Lang during Huan Hua Palace's attack. "This one will make sure to grab two. One for Junshang and Lord Zhuzhi-Lang."

"There is no need for that." Tianlang-Jun cut in, grabbing Shen Yuan's attention as the young man raised an inquisitive brow. "This Lord controls Zhuzhi-Lang's image. While this one is...incapacitated, Zhuzhi-Lang is stuck in his original form for the time being."

Ah...well, that was rather unfortunate. 

Nodding, Shen Yuan turned once again to face Zhuzhi-Lang. "Very well then, then this one will return with one."

"No."

Oh, come on! 

"Junshang..." He did not whine. Nope, no, not him! He wasn't someone who whined! But he was getting annoyed alright!? "This one thought that His Majesty was partial to this plan."

Tianlang-Jun laughed at him again and laughed a little harder when he saw Shen Yuan's cheeks puff out. Son, are you sure you're not just bullying this little thing because you like him? Look at how cute he is! Did father need to catch your heart's desire for you because you were too shy? Father will have to ask you once I see you again! 

"This Lord is partial to Yuan's plan; however, it is as Yuan said. The Sun-Moon Dew Mushroom is only meant to house a spiritual core. It would not react well with this Lord's qi."

"This one knows of ways to change the type of qi it can house, Junshang. This one only needs to get the plant to do so!" Shen Yuan countered.

"Very well, then wait until you have such a plant in your possession. It would do Yuan no good to jump ahead so rashly." 

It annoyed him to no end that the logic made sense. "Very well, Majesty, this one will do as he says."

At such an indignant expression, Tianlang-Jun laughed again. This Xiao-Daozhang was such a bulliable little thing! "Ah, don't be so glum now, little one! You're still so young, no one your age can be expected of so much. Just wait until you're a little older, perhaps sixteen, and then you'll understand where this Lord comes from."

Baffled, Shen Yuan was only struck into silence for a moment before he shouted, "Junshang! I am sixteen!"

"What—?!" What trickery! No, no, he couldn't be fooled! There was no way such a little thing was truly so close to the age of being a true adult! "Yuan! Don't lie to this Lord! Tell this one the truth, you can't be any older than thirteen! Fourteen at most!"

"Junshang! I'm no liar! I'm sixteen!"

"Do they not feed you?!" Now he was truly concerned for his son! Did Cang Qiong not feed its disciples!? "What of your brothers and my son? How big are they?"

This has to be considered harassment. I don't have to answer this!

"Yuan, use your hand, how much taller than you are they? Surely they can't be as skinny!"

"Junshang!"

"Show me!"

Aggrieved, Shen Yuan used his hand and his words to show his brothers' heights and body types before displaying Luo Binghe's. This was stupid! He wasn't that short! Yes, he hit growth spurts a little later than others, but what was this skinny nonsense!? He was just lean! It wasn't his fault that Ling Shou's robes weren't skintight! 

"Ah, I see, so it's just you then." Ignoring the shout of indignation, Tianlang-Jun humored his thoughts. "Yuan, are they truly not feeding you?"

"I eat well enough, Junshang!"

"No child should be so skinny!"

"Junshang just has a bad perspective!" This was stupid! Why was he even arguing about this!? He didn't have to take this! "This one will leave now, Junshang."

"Alright, alright! This Lord will let it go for now!" Tianlang-Jun laughed, trying to soothe the aggrieved countenance of the youth as he said, "Why doesn't Yuan come sit down and tell me some stories he knows? This one is rather behind on the latest theatrical plays. Does Yuan know any?"

Just as he expected, the young man took the bait easily! He was almost thankful Shen Yuan was blind, so the youth couldn't see the triumphant and devilish grin on his face as he sat down. His back against the wall of the mountain, and next to Tianlang-Jun, as he thought.

"This one doesn't know many stories and hasn't been to any plays before. I only know a few that my brothers used to tell me when I was little to help me fall asleep on the street."

Tianlang-Jun caught the last few words, 'on the street.' He felt inclined to ask, but there were only so many ways to take such things. It was likely something that he didn't need to ask this young man, so he merely said, "Well then, Yuan has talked so highly about them tonight. Let's see if their stories are as good as Yuan claims them to be."

From there, it was simple to fall into the easy rhythm of relaying the stories that were so clearly made up by children with limited imaginations. Stories of bravery, cultivators setting off across the land to see all there was to see. Generosity, giving where they could, and helping any of those they came across in need. And family, a bond so strong that it was to never be broken. The main characters of that little tale are said to be forever united, always at each other's sides, and never to be left alone.

It was a simple tale. By no means theatrical or complex, as were most of the plays he used to see, there wasn't even a romantic plot to help the story along, and yet, it was refreshing. Something sweet and dull, like milk against a spice-burned tongue. Bland, but comforting.

"This Lord quite likes Yuan's stories." 

Shen Yuan felt the sun rising against his hand; he had until nightfall to make it back to the trail and sneak back into the cart. But he could stay for a bit longer. "Then this one will be sure to bring more when I return. I could always ask my Er-ge to go to Qing Jing's library and find some good stories there."

Tianlang-Jun chuckled at that. "Unless Yuan has forgotten, neither he nor I is exactly in a position to read any books."

"This one has been working on a talisman that can read any book aloud. If finished, I will bring it with me the next time I come."

"How creative," Tianlang-Jun hummed. "Should Yuan return to Cang Qiong now? The sun is rising."

"This one will stay for a bit longer." Shen Yuan adjusted himself where he sat, humming when he felt the familiar presence. He didn't mind when Zhuzhi-Lang coiled up beside him as he said, "Besides, my Da-ge and Er-ge told me a lot of stories when I was little."

Chapter Text

"Paint the final line there," Shen Yuan instructed, hovering over Shang Qinghua's shoulder as he glided his hand over the side of the talisman. Ci Liang had taught him how to identify talismans recently, and it had made his attempts at making a xianxia-style audiobook all that much easier! "It should work now!"

Shang Qinghua grabbed one of the books they kept nearby. It was an old one, not something anyone would miss if it happened to have a fate similar to that of the others. It was likely for the best that they had decided to do this outside. They likely would have set fire to the greeting hall if they had done it indoors, seeing as the fate the other...test subjects had met was rather explosive. 

Scorched or blown up...may the fallen brothers rest in peace.

Shang Qinghua placed the talisman on the book cover before the two scrambled away from it. They'd learned their lesson. Always back away from something potentially explosive! The two listened and watched from a distance, instinctively holding onto each other just in case this test subject became like their second attempt. A makeshift firework.

However, their hesitance quickly became excitement as the words of the book literally began to sing off its pages. It was an old poetry book, one Shen Yuan had read before in his past life, but to hear it again, from an albeit low and rather flat voice, was incredibly thrilling and satisfying. 

"It worked!" He jumped forward, grabbing the book off the ground as he traced the dried ink, listening to the poetry read out to him smoothly. He peeled the talisman off, and the poetry halted, placing it back on once again, and it began to speak once again. "Qinghua! It finally worked!"

Shang Qinghua laughed at the rare sight of his old friend's pure excitement, coming up next to him as he memorized the lines of the characters and markings on the talismans. He'd have to make copies; this would make his work so much easier! "It only took us getting blown up in the face by books a few times."

"Worth it."

"Oh, absolutely worth it."

"Yuan-shidi!" Xia Cheng ran over to them, smiling brighter when she heard the flat voice reading out the poetry of the book. "Oh my! You got it to work!"

Shang Qinghua nodded; Xia Cheng was rather welcoming and kind to anyone she met, so she was never one to try and shoo Shang Qinghua away. She actually seemed to always be rather happy to have him around. Perhaps it was a Ling Shou thing? They did seem to have some heavy Omega solidarity here among their own. 

"That's good that you are finished. Because Shizun said that you–."

"Xia Cheng, may this Shizun share the good news?" An aura of winter, yet with the voice of summer, Shen Yuan had noticed his Shizun's presence, but her voice always seemed to catch him off guard. She truly was like a winter spirit that snuck up on those who weren't careful enough to keep their guard up. 

Shang Qinghua shrieked from fright, however, not having noticed the peak lord's presence until she was right behind them. Shen Yuan held his shoulder, keeping him from falling on his ass as he laughed awkwardly and bowed curtly as a greeting. 

Hu Lieling laughed good-naturedly, nodding to him while Shen Yuan stepped forward to address his Shizun. "Shizun, was there something this one needed to be aware of?"

Hu Lieling hummed affirmatively, stepping forward until she overshadowed Shen Yuan. She was rather tall, much like a forest spirit. Lithe and graceful, one could associate her movements with the wind as her billowing sleeves, which reached to her calves, fluttered around her powerful hands, revealing skin the color of honey as she traced the talisman on the poetry book.

What a clever disciple she had. It only further cemented this decision of hers.

"Yes, this Master has decided that Yuan will go to Wan Jian and summon his sword today." Eyes with the visage of a predator sparkled with mirth as she watched her disciple rear back in shock before excitement overcame his countenance just as quickly. "There are a few others going today as well. Since Yuan is unfamiliar, he will only need to follow them."

"This one understands, Shizun." Smiling, he couldn't help the thrill of expectation that coursed through him. He knew the sword he would pull. The weapon that had seen him through his decisive battle in his last life. 

Hui Qu; Lustrous Song. 

It was a lithe blade, a scholar's sword above all else. It had the ability to summon his spiritual energy the same as he could summon it. He had used it rarely for battle in his past life, but even up until the end, it had never once failed him. A trusted weapon, one of familiarity that he was rather excited to be reunited with. 

"Yuan, Yuan! Let's go now! Shen-shixiong and Yue-shixiong promised to meet us there!" Xia Cheng was tugging on him already, even more excited than he was. "You can Xiao Yingzi too! Wei Qingwei, Wan Jian's head disciple, said it was alright since their peak has many hills and steep paths." His Shijie's insistence made him laugh as he turned to face Shang Qinghua.

"I can copy the talisman while you're gone, Yuan. Come back to show me your sword later!" Shang Qinghua clapped him on the back before taking the book from his hands, allowing Xia Cheng to tug him away fully. 

The cobblestone path was familiar, so Shen Yuan outpaced his Shijie as he charged into the stables. The Ling Shou disciples did not even startle the horses anymore, having grown used to such wild behavior from their riders. However, Xiao Yingzi was the only one to react, whinnying and braying insistently as Shen Yuan opened his gate, allowing his steed to prance out and push his head against Shen Yuan's chest in a heavy show of affection. 

They hadn't had the chance to ride as much lately. Not with the tiring road to recovery Shen Yuan had been subjected to, his Shijie and Shixiong had been against any of the fast-paced and exhilarating morning runs that had become routine to both horse and rider. So, to say they both were a little pent-up was an understatement. 

"This Shidi will take the back hills to Wan Jian." He was already grabbing Xiao Yingzi's saddle, the beast trotting happily behind him, already sensing Shen Yuan's intent. "We don't want to startle anyone on the bridges."

"Yuan..." Xia Cheng drawled chidingly, earning an annoyed huff from Xiao Yingzi and the pleading countenance of her beloved Shidi. Ah! Yuan, don't give your Shijie that look! How unfair! "You know you shouldn't let Xiao Yingzi go so swiftly with you. Even if you are getting your sword today, you still must be careful."

"This one has been careful, Shijie!" Shen Yuan countered. It's been three weeks! Someone give him a break! He'd followed every rule and abided by every strict prescription. When would this treatment cease!? "This one has abided by every rule and has had no flair-up. How will this one grow from his condition if I am never allowed to better myself?"

"Ah...Fine, fine! But when you enter Wan Jian, at least pretend as though you two were running with the speed of the north winds!"

"Thank you, Shijie!"

He hurried with the preparation before Xia Cheng could change her mind or perhaps call Song Rong or Ci Liang to tattle on him. Hoisting himself onto the saddle, he led Xiao Yingzi out of the stables with Xia Cheng following close behind him. 

"Remember, Shidi, if you happen to get turned around, ask for help!"

"This one remembers Da-Shijie's instructions," Shen Yuan retorted, smiling down at his Shijie as he heard the woman draw the sword from her hip. Undoubtedly about to fly to Wan Jian instead. "I will ask for help in Wan Jian if Yingzi and I cannot find our way to the Hall of Swords."

Xia Cheng hummed affirmatively, stepping onto her blade as Xiao Yingzi set off at the click of Shen Yuan's tongue. How entuned those two were, it wouldn't surprise her if her Shidi learned how to ride atop horseback during battle. He'd make for quite the formidable force atop that beast of his. 

"Go to the back hills!" Shen Yuan shouted over the wind, reveling in the feel of the approaching winter stinging against his face. He cheered excitedly as Xiao Yingzi snorted and only galloped faster; his muscles warmed enough that his hooves could crash against the ground with the resounding strength of thunder. 

Shen Yuan had full trust in his steed to lead the way. Xiao Yingzi was an intelligent horse, willful and protective; he did not doubt that he could sit back and let Xiao Yingzi take the full lead, and they would still arrive where necessary in no time. 

Powerful legs bound over logs, rocks, and steep drops. Pounding hooves against the ground resembled the beating of drums, heavy and with an artful tune. Shen Yuan listened to the sound as his hand rested on top of Xiao Yingzi's side, feeling the powerful heartbeat and lungs beneath his hand.

He'd long since learned how to share his spiritual energy with his steed, sharing his livelihood and his health with such a creature only enhanced the beast. Making him stronger, faster, and seemingly ageless. It had been a wonderful day when Ci Liang had taught him that the animals of Ling Shou; if taken by a disciple or a master as a companion, could live just as long as their immortal companion as long as their bond was strong enough, and the spiritual energy of the immortal was shared consistently. 

It hadn't been a worry at the time, but even still, with such knowledge in tow, it made his heart rest easier as the years came upon them. He'd never take another steed. He hadn't in his past life, even when Xiao Yingzi had aged and passed on back then, and he would never do so in this life. 

"Old friend! Let's make sure we haven't lost our touch!" Shen Yuan shouted, raising his hand to snag a branch from the passing trees. The limb broke off, clutched in his hand as he used his spiritual energy to sharpen it into an arrow. 

Xiao Yingzi brayed loudly, bounding over a ditch as Shen Yuan stood on the stirrup. The youth reared his hand back, careful of the spiritual energy he coursed through the sharpened limb, he threw it only a moment later, shouting in triumph when the makeshift arrow stuck straight through an apple hanging from a branch. 

The fruit fell into his hand, and the arrow pierced straight through the ripe center. Shen Yuan chuckled as he adjusted himself and let Xiao Yingzi run the rest of the way to his heart's content. It was only when the telltale smell of coal and blacksmiths came from the distance that he tugged back on the reins and clicked his tongue. 

"Let's not have Da-ge and Er-ge scold us, Yingzi."

The beast snorted, as if telling off the potential of such an occurrence. What an attitude his steed had! However, he couldn't blame him; he likely had influenced Xiao Yingzi more than anything. His old friend had been a free therapist for the past years. 

Just as Xia Cheng had said, Wan Jian was nothing but hills and steep edges. The only flat ground was surrounded by armories of various weapons. Metal shops and blacksmiths. Training ground for the sword and other such craftsmanship. There weren't many clearings of trees or dense thickets of foliage anywhere nearby, and Shen Yuan scoffed to himself at the thought. 

He would not have liked Wan Jian very much had he been a disciple here. 

"A-Yuan!" The call came from overhead, and Shen Yuan clicked his tongue, bringing Xiao Yingzi to a halt as the breeze brushed past his shoulder, and Shen Yuan turned to his right to feel the hand that reached out for him. "How is Didi faring?"

Shen Yuan let himself be lifted off Xiao Yingzi's back, the beast snorting in defiance in response, though Shen Yuan only patted his shoulder to soothe him. "This one is well, Da-ge. How has Qiong Ding been? Have the assignments been any easier?"

Yue Qingyuan laughed at his questions. There was no doubt that Qiong Ding's assignments for him were taxing, but they would never change. So, he'd long since grown used to it. "No, Didi. But they are alright, nothing that this Da-ge can't handle." Shen Yuan hummed understandingly. He'd figured as much, but sometimes asking the questions that you already knew the answer to, just for the sake of checking on the ones you loved, brought more comfort than just believing past pretenses. "Is Didi excited to summon his sword today?"

"Yes, Da-ge." However, there was something of which he wasn't entirely sure. "Da-ge, will I have to use my sword more now? I'm...I haven't fared well even with Song-shixiong's and Liu-shixiong's help with a blade. I've done better with a bow, even if I...I haven't taken the time to pick out a new one."

"No, Didi." Yue Qingyuan reassured, nudging Shen Yuan with his shoulder so the young man would follow him. Xiao Yingzi snorted as he stuck close to Shen Yuan's heels. "A sword is a show of a cultivator's respect, of their...familiarity with the unity such practices that come in tow with others who follow the same path. It does not mean you have to be well adept with the weapon. Xiao-Jiu is better suited to his war fans rather than Xiu Ya, and if Didi is better suited to a bow, then there is no shame."

Reassured, Shen Yuan nodded understandingly. Pausing when he suddenly remembered the apple in his hand. Pulling the makeshift arrow out of the fruit, he offered it to his steed, who took it all with one bite, whinnying happily at the sweet taste.

Taking the makeshift arrow from his Didi's hand, Yue Qingyuan hummed appreciatively at the sight of it. Sharp to a point and lithe, clearly freshly made with the use of qi, yet elegantly so. "Didi's skills have improved."

"This one wanted to make sure that no matter what battle I may be a part of, lack of arrows will never arise as an issue again." 

"A smart strategy, Didi." Yue Qingyuan nodded before reaching over his shoulder to pull off what he had kept hidden at his side from his Didi. He'd hoped to wait until after the sword retrieval ceremony, but he was rather impatient. "This Da-ge has something for A-Yuan."

Slowing his pace, Shen Yuan extended his hand so his brother could place whatever he held in his hand. However, when the familiar curve of the upper limb came into his hand, he swiftly trailed his hand down until his hand came in contact with the thick and sturdy material of the bow grip. He gasped softly, taking the bow and inspecting the string and material. Bamboo with smooth polish and thick smooth rope, there was even a small pendant on the lower limb, carved out into a...butterfly?

He was never one to be materialistic. While he enjoyed the things he had being a certain way, he was never one to be overly picky over just anything. But this...He was almost too scared to imagine using it; it felt too...personal.

"Da-ge..."

Yue Qingyuan chuckled at his expression. He'd never be the one to say it aloud, but he enjoyed that now, especially in these years of his Didi's life, that his baby brother could not hide how he felt from him. His countenance always betrayed him, even if he believed that he was hiding it well. 

He'd never be a good gambler.

Reaching out, he cupped his A-Yuan's face and smiled as his Didi surged into his arms, hugging him tightly to express the words he felt he couldn't say. "Does it suit Didi well?" He'd taken the measurements from Ci Liang and had even asked Bai Daiyu about her thoughts. Shen Yuan's last bow had been rather...plain. While he knew it served its purpose well, it was also a bit stunting. 

There was no greater pride in his heart than seeing his Xiao-Jiu use both the exquisitely designed sitting fans and the masterfully crafted war fans that he picked out for him. No matter the situation, it left an older part of his heart reassured. The part of him that used to stay awake at night, aggrieved and disappointed with himself that he could not give more to the two he loved. That he could not treat his Xiao-Jiu to the sweet treats that he loved, but got so rarely, and that he could not wrap his A-Yuan in thick and warm blankets, shielding him from the cold and sickness that came to him so often, allowing him to build a nest of warm materials and fluffy stuffed animals. 

So, to see his Didi use such a mediocre thing, even if it served its purpose for what it was designed, left him...antsy. He knew that Shen Yuan was not a person for looks or material things...no one in his condition would be, and neither was his Da-ge, thank you very much! But if Yue Qingyuan knew that there was something that he could do better, something that he could improve, then he would do it. But when it came to the few things his Didi actually held onto, such as that old bow, there was no room for him to get his claws on it and improve it. 

However, whenever chances arise, he is one to take full advantage!

So, once he was sure his Didi's condition would not leave him in a state where Yue Qingyuan's heart would never settle again until Shen Yuan was at his side constantly, he set to work commissioning a well-made bow and quiver. The quiver took a bit longer, made of the thick hide of an Anaconda-Buffalo, it would not be finished for a bit longer. However, the bow had not taken as long, and he was too excited to wait for both to be finished to gift them together. 

"It does, Da-ge, thank you." Really, this brother of his...was entirely too considerate! He just planned to measure out a new one in the armory with his Song-shixiong once he wasn't feeling too lazy to actually bring it up with his Shixiong. But his Da-ge had already beaten him to it! And with such a finely crafted weapon, too!

"Of course, A-Yuan." He was glad he'd chosen bamboo. Regular wood would have left his A-Yuan's hands chafed and blistered unless they sanded it down until it could have been too thin that it would be at risk of snapping in two. But bamboo was naturally smooth and sturdy, and with the thick material of the bow grip, his Didi's hands wouldn't suffer! And he was even more pleased he'd listened to Bai Daiyu's advice and crafted the pendant as a butterfly. An olive-green color, small enough that it wouldn't bother his Didi when he was using his weapon, but large enough that it stood out. "This Da-ge is happy that it suits you."

He hummed and grumbled softly into his brother's chest, too overwhelmed for words. He really was grateful! And he wanted his Da-ge to know that! But he didn't want to just say some regular 'thank you! Yes, I love it so much!' Such pleasantries didn't feel personal enough to say in response to such a considerate gift!

Entirely used to his Didi's shows of affection and appreciation, Yue Qingyuan hummed appreciatively as Shen Yuan rubbed his cheek against his chest. It was a rather childish form of scenting, typically something children normally ever did to their parents, but it warmed his heart all the same, and he reciprocated it with a gentle hand against his Didi's neck. 

Didi, make sure you don't grow up too much! This Da-ge is rather selfish, he'd miss you being so affectionate if you grew up enough to think yourself too big to hug him!

Once Shen Yuan did all that he could at the moment to show his appreciation, leaving his cheek red and his Da-ge thoroughly scented with the light aroma of mint and vanilla, and his hair scented by petrichor and rosewood, they hurried along to Wan Jian's Hall of Swords.

Of course, there were others who had already entered as well. Seeing as the hall of swords was truly not a hall, but a large cave system with various twists and turns where swords of all kinds and sizes stuck out from the stone wall, calling only to the person meant for them. It didn't matter how many people entered all at once. They likely wouldn't run into each other again until they both left the cave!

However, to both of their surprise, yet somehow not surprising in the least, three people already stood before the hall's entrance, bickering back and forth with no end in sight.

"Fine, if the little beast must be here, so be it! Go in already and get lost so you won't be a bother to anyone else!" Shen Qingqiu hissed, waving away Luo Binghe with a flick of his wrist as he sneered at Liu Qingge. "But why must you be here as well? Isn't one brute more than enough?"

Luo Binghe rolled his eyes with a scowl at the man. Some things really never changed, did they? However, Liu Qingge scoffed and sneered at the other head disciple, saying, "I'm Luo Binghe's Shixiong, I can be here if I like. Why are you here? None of Qing Jing's disciples are here, you can leave!"

Just as Shen Qingqiu was about to retort to such a comment, a familiar hand with the same scholarly shape as his own entwined with his, and gently tugged him back. "Er-ge, we don't have to argue. Luo-shixiong has to get his sword too, right? It doesn't matter, it won't take long after all."

Shen Qingqiu turned to his brother, his mood instantly better once he found the not-so-subtle scent mark of his Qi-ge. One in the same mind, it seemed. However, he couldn't help but hum appreciatively at the sight of the finely crafted bow strapped over his Didi's shoulders. He'd entrusted the design and craftsmanship of such a weapon to his Qi-ge's hands. If he could design a bow just as well as he could design a fan, then there was nothing to worry about, and it seemed his trust was not misplaced.

Forgetting all about the two annoyances behind him, Shen Qingqiu led Shen Yuan to hold out the bow for him to see. It seemed to be the right size, the bamboo smooth and sturdy, it wouldn't damage A-Yuan's hands, good. Even the little butterfly pendant on the lower limb seemed rather perfect. "How does A-Yuan like his new bow? Does it fit him well?"

Smiling, he said, "Da-ge designed it very well. It fits perfectly, I like it very much." He'd do something to show his appreciation later. Screw words! He wasn't good at talking! No matter if he could do it in this life, he was long out of practice! Besides, actions spoke louder than words!

Despite Shen Qingqiu in his way, Liu Qingge was quick to pass around the Qing Jing Peak Head Disciple to inspect the aforementioned weapon himself. So what if that Song Rong thought himself good enough to try and take over where Liu Qingge specialized in sword training, he surely wouldn't be worthy enough to tell if a weapon would be good enough to be wielded, especially not a bow. 

"Brute!" Shen Qingqiu hissed at him, but he ignored him in favor of grabbing Shen Yuan's elbow to lead him away from his brothers. Too crowded. So, he could look at the bow himself.

"Liu-shixiong?" 

"Let me see it."

Shen Yuan smirked at the tone. It was becoming easier to understand the limited variety in Liu Qingge's tone. While it was a bit harder to tell without any other signs to assure him of his assumptions, trivial things like the hesitation in his voice, the effect the lift of his lips had on his tone, and the ghost-like touches that grazed against him helped him enough to at least have a general idea of what flat and annoyed tone number three meant!

Holding out the bow to be inspected, Liu Qingge took it by the grip. Inspecting the string and the limbs. Whoever had crafted this knew what they were doing; he couldn't find anything wrong with it, even the weight was adequate. But that didn't leave him content. A part of him felt aggrieved that he hadn't heard the exact measurements given, the weight, the proper distribution. Not even the type of bamboo and polish used to make the weapon.

Had they carved it? Was it heated and bent? What of the string? Was there a quiver that matched? What was that made out of? Would the strap irritate the skin? Would it be thick enough not to wear away over time?

Too many questions, most of which left him annoyed for reasons he wasn't entirely sure of. So, he quickly handed the bow back into Shen Yuan's hand before he could let his annoyance fester for too long.

However, the soft tap of the pendant against the smooth bamboo had him staring at the olive-green pendant on the lower limb. Dainty, but decent...a butterfly. Why did he suddenly feel like there was something in his stomach?

"Ah, Yuan-shidi, when did you get a new weapon? You didn't tell your Shixiong! Were you trying to hide from us?" The teasing didn't fall on deaf ears, and Shen Yuan swatted at the finger that prodded against his cheek. 

If one thing hadn't changed in the past three weeks. It was Luo Binghe's teasing! Ugh! That brute was always poking him and annoying him by hovering over his shoulder to tease him next to his ear! It always made him shudder from the ticklish feeling, and the little devil didn't even have the decency to stay still long enough so he could swat him on the head for it!

"I wasn't hiding anything! Luo-shixiong is too nosy! Da-ge just gave it to me!"

Luo Binghe laughed as Shen Yuan followed his steps to try and hit him. Dodging and weaving as he continued to poke where he could while he avoided the swift swipes of the Ling Shou disciple's claws.

However, from the side, for the first time in history, Shen Qingqiu and Xiao Yingzi, sharing only a look, held a complete yet silent agreement with each other. No longer on opposing sides. The two, a man and a beast, glared and huffed at the sight of the two brutes with the Ling Shou disciple.

Yue Qingyuan watched only with a slightly bewildered expression. Didn't his Didi not like Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe? He hadn't realized they'd become friends! Or...frenemies? He couldn't quite tell.

"Brute! Who are you calling Yuan-shidi!?" Finally, too annoyed from watching whatever the display before him was, Shen Qingqiu stomped forward to shoo away Luo Binghe, standing in front of Shen Yuan as he glared. "Go on, get lost in the caves already!"

As any young man would, but only enhanced by his recently unsealed blood, Luo Binghe had reached a new level of growth. With every turn, it seemed he'd grown broader, perhaps a bit taller. Luo Binghe, are your boots another size too small already? Why is it that your robes have grown too tight again?

So, he'd already surpassed Shen Qingqiu's height, whereas before in his past life, he'd only been up to his Shizun's eyebrow by the time he was sixteen. It left him rather cocky, able to look down on this present annoyance that he once called Shizun, but now only had to barely address as his Shixiong just to appease his Yuan-shidi.

"This humble Shidi isn't entirely sure what Shen-shixiong means?" Oh, how gratifying it was to watch Shen Qingqiu cringe in disgust at his honeyed tone. It was almost as amusing as it was to watch Liu Qingge sneer at him before rolling his eyes and pretending to ignore him! "This one was merely addressing his Yuan-shidi."

Saying it again, Shen Qingqiu sneered. Since when did this brute address his Didi so closely?! Shen Yuan hadn't left Ling Shou! And he'd made sure that it was only Song Rong guiding his sword training! What was this!?

Before Shen Qingqiu could attempt to ring Luo Binghe by his neck, Yue Qingyuan reached forward and led Shen Qingqiu away by his shoulder, calmly cutting in, "Why doesn't Luo-shidi head in first? A-Yuan will be right behind him, this one still needs to explain to him the cave systems."

"No need." Liu Qingge cut in, turning to Shen Yuan with an expectant expression. "Yuan, I told you about the cave systems, haven't I? What do you remember?"

If one were to listen closely enough, one could hear the thin glass of Shen Qingqiu's and Yue Qingyuan's worldview shattering. Yuan!? So familiar!?

Shen Yuan rolled his eyes at the question. Yes, no one knew that he was a ghost reborn, but did they think him so incapable that he couldn't remember common knowledge? "Hm, Liu-shixiong has. Wan Jian's Hall of Swords is a complex cave system with various twists and turns. It is pitch black within, and one must find their sword through the guidance of qi, just as they must find their way out with the light of their sword's glare, or by retracing their steps out." Ha! Take that!

"Ah, very good, Didi." Yue Qingyuan smiled, taking a large step forward to cut in between the Bai Zhan disciple and his brother. Did Bai Zhan forget to teach its disciples about the proper etiquette of distancing? Especially between an unmated Alpha and Omega! Since when was Liu Qingge one to stand so close to someone? "Then this Da-ge has nothing left to inform him of. Just be sure to be careful."

Shen Yuan smiled at the little reminder. It wasn't annoying in the same way it would have been if it had come from someone else, since he knew it came from an unconscious place of concern. "This one will be careful, Da-ge."

Yue Qingyuan patted his jaw before taking his bow from his hands. He and Shen Qingqiu led him to the entrance before stepping aside to let him enter alone. Luo Binghe followed in only a second after with an all too knowing smirk.

What was this he was feeling? Yue Qingyuan tapped the upper limb of his Didi's bow against his shoulders as he thought. Why did he suddenly feel as though he was being challenged?

Shen Qingqiu, on the other hand, thought only one thing. I'll kill that little beast!

An awkward silence fell, and Yue Qingyuan looked over, only to suddenly see his Shidi standing at least a few feet away! Hadn't he been almost shoulder-to-shoulder with him only a moment ago? Liu-shidi, when did you move away so quickly!?

Inside, Luo Binghe grumbled every now and then whenever his foot stumbled on a rock. He and Shen Yuan had yet to separate within the cave, yet he couldn't see even a trace of his Shidi in front of him. But he could hear the subtle changes in Shen Yuan's footsteps, easily avoiding the rubble on the ground so he wouldn't trip. 

"Luo-shixiong," he felt a tug on his sleeve, and he sucked in a sharp breath when he suddenly felt a lithe arm interlock with his. "Step where I step."

He didn't trip on the rubble, following Shen Yuan's steps precisely. However, he couldn't help but take wider steps, lean down a little, and breathe a little deeper as they carried on. There had been...changes since the seal was removed. For one, growth spurts. Agonizing and terrible fucking growth spurts. It was by a miracle that apparently most Alphas on Bai Zhan—with their diet and training regimen— naturally grew to impressive sizes and regularly suffered some form of physical pain, so he didn't have to explain himself with how often he was having to go to the storage house and get new clothes.

He never remembered his few teen years in the Endless Abyss being as troublesome as this. Though at the time he had been so consumed by rage and bloodlust and the insatiable urge to just survive, he wasn't as surprised that he never noticed these changes in the grand scheme of things back then.

But now, oh now, his body was making sure he felt all of it.

They were easily ignored as long as he kept himself busy, but in moments like this, where there was nothing for him to focus on, he felt it all. Every muscle was stretching and growing. Every bone was fracturing minutely, only to repair itself mere seconds later, all in a continuous fashion. His traitorous body's way of making him stronger, impervious to most wounds and ailments. It left him rather irritable.

But with those unfortunate developments, also came ones he had never taken the time to study or truly come to terms with in his past life. Such as his innate sense of smell. Everyone in Cang Qiong bathed themselves with scent-reducing soaps, some to the point that it took careful examination to determine their domination if they were not willing to say it.

But all of that didn't mean a thing to him! Nope! He could still smell everyone.

At first, he didn't pay much mind to it. He was used to the scent of musk and a crowd full of Alphas, so the scents around him didn't bother him. However, it was only when the scent of agarwood and bergamot overpowered every other scent around him that he truly realized the extent of his heightened senses.

He knew firsthand that Liu Qingge practically scrubbed his skin and scent glands raw to be sure that not even a hint of his own scent or the scent of others clung to him. But despite those preparations, Liu Qingge's scent still permeated the air like the perfumes of the red light distinct, and as long as that Shixiong of his was within distance to him, he'd immediately catch the scent of agarwood, bergamot, and even a hint of sage.

Apparently, the same went for Shen Yuan. Mint and vanilla. Even with the heavy scent of Yue Qingyuan—petrichor and rosewood—Luo Binghe could still differentiate the two. He could still find that sweet and calming scent.

Even back then, his sense of smell was never this extreme and specific. Was it because Liu Qingge and Shen Yuan were his soulmates? But even in the past life, he was never this drawn to Liu Qingge, but his Shifu had used a domination-blocking amulet so...perhaps that was the case?

However, any questions about the matter normally didn't persist for very long, especially not now. Not now that he was nearly chest to back with this Shidi of his. Proximity was no longer an issue, so that sweet and refreshing scent was practically tinting his skin with a fresh and tingly feeling.

It reminded him of the tea that his Shifu used to always drink.

The tea that he used to steep in that small kitchen. Sliced fruits and a cup or two of that herbal tea set outside on the small table in the garden, awaiting Luo Binghe to finish his set to give him some nourishment.

He remembered, at first, that he had assumed that the one to do these things had been Ning Yingying. Despite not being Shen Tianyan's personal disciple, she still clung to him so forcefully. It hadn't been until before the Immortal Alliance Conference back then, that he saw from the corner of his eye as he returned from a night hunt; Shen Tianyan, holding a tray, setting out the plate of fruits and cups of tea on the table with slender and pale hands that appeared to not even be able to hold a teacup, let alone a sword.

Even when he had seen Ning Yingying following out of the cottage, bearing nothing, and only smiling as Shen Tianyan handed her a cup of her own, without taking one for himself, did he understand who it had been all those years slicing his fruit and making him tea?

Whatever vindictive part of himself back then had rung him up by the throat. Silencing the words he had wanted to say. It choked him with bitterness and resentment, feelings unwarranted and unfair; it had forced him to be quiet, and only with the strength to return to that room of his silently without a single care of greeting his Shifu.

That night, despite his bitterness, he'd stepped into the garden. The lights inside had been snuffed out aside from one lone candle within his Shifu's chambers, and he sat at that little table in the garden, eating the fruit and drinking the tea as he stared at the curtain-drawn windows and only for a moment, wished that his Shifu would come outside and look at him.

To think back on it now. It hurt him more than the changing of his own body, more than any physical ailment he had ever endured; such memories hurt him. It hurt to remember the resentment he held for his Shifu back then, the hatred he had felt; it all hurt to remember. It hurt to remember how he had allowed himself to forget the benevolence of his Shifu, the mercy and gifts he had been shown by those elegant hands, and never once expected anything in return.

But it also left him furious.

So many things back then had gone wrong. Things that he could have known about. Things that he could have helped to fix. His Shifu's unhealing wounds, the scars that would never mend; he could have healed them. He could have fixed them all. Those misconceptions, those moments born of resentment; he could have changed that outcome, he could have opened his Shifu's eyes, he could have shown him that there wasn't a thing that the disciple he had taken in, his only disciple, couldn't have fixed. There were so many things...so, so many that made him angry.

But now...Now, he would not let them happen again.

Shen Yuan...He'd already taken an arrow for him, he'd already shown him that same benevolence and mercy of his Shifu. So alike and yet so different. The feeling in his chest could not be described. It was not something he understood, or something he had felt with anyone else. It was a carnal feeling, and an urge of sorts, to do what? He had no clue. But it left his mouth watering, his limbs aching, and his heart hammering within his chest whenever he focused on it, and the only thing that seemed to submerge those urges was...

"Luo-shixiong?" The arm interlocked with his suddenly unbinding itself and wrapped around his shoulders instead. Another arm came after, wrapping under Shen Yuan's arms and around his torso as Luo Binghe's head fell forward and rested against his shoulder, breathing heavily. "Are you alright?"

Was he alright? He had no clue.

He didn't know what was happening to him.

There was an aching feeling in his chest. One that left him itchy and hot. He was powerless against the urge to just grab something, someone. Shen Yuan. It was an undeniable urge to have the source of that scent. The scent of his memories. The scent of heartache and healing. The scent of passing each other by. The scent of quiet nights in a meadow of flowers, listening to the gentle song his Shifu played in the distance.

It was the memories of loss, the moments when his world shattered beneath his feet, and he was left to battle the heavens alone. Without the tenderness of his Shifu's hidden actions. Without the hidden smiles and silent praising looks. Without the warmth of the one who stood behind him as a form of protection and not one of disdain.

It was memories of loneliness, of realizing that in this world, he had no one by his side anymore.

Mint and vanilla. Mint and vanilla...he couldn't remember now, but did his Shifu's tea taste as sweet as Shen Yuan smelled?

The body in his arms turned around and in the pitch black, where not even the outline of the person in his arms could be seen, Luo Binghe felt hands cup his face and just hold him. "Does Luo-shixiong not like the dark?"

The question was of genuine concern, one of which was meant to understand and help; he knew that. But even in the darkness of his memories, Luo Binghe could only envision the expression of his Shidi. The wide willow-leaf eyes, warm jade clouded over by tragedies far too great for someone so undeserving, the welcoming upturn of his lips, and the gentle furrow of his brows.

It left that itching feeling in his chest, burning brighter.

He groaned soundly, leaning into those hands. Soft and dainty, smaller than his own, and yet so easily aware that they could hurt him if so desired. And yet, he knew that it would never happen, that he could place those hands, lithe and yet still powerful, around his throat, and nothing would happen.

"This Shixiong has been experiencing some pains."

"Where?" A hand left his face, almost making him miss the touch if not for the fact that it met the exposed skin of his neck only a moment later. Warm qi with the essence of flower petals against skin flowed throughout his meridians, and he nearly growled at the feeling. Hadn't he told this Shidi of his not to do that?

Fingers able to touch around a single wrist pulled his hand away, leaving Shen Yuan to scoff at the reaction; however, Luo Binghe only leaned down and hissed. "This one has told Yuan-shidi he shouldn't do that. Has Yuan-shidi forgotten what happens to little kittens who don't behave and listen to their Shixiong?"

"And this Shidi has told his Shixiong that I am more than capable." Shen Yuan reached down again this time with his free hand, continuing his search and remedying. He purposefully ignored the annoyed and indignant sound that left his Shixiong's chest. This prideful brute would just have to learn how to accept help. "There, Shixiong should feel better."

It annoyed him that he felt better. The itching feeling in his chest had yet to leave, but his muscles didn't ache so terribly, and his bones settled amongst themselves for the time being. But it didn't mean that he was okay with Shen Yuan doing something like that so randomly!

He wanted to say something, perhaps a scolding, maybe a threat, but Shen Yuan grabbed his hand this time and dragged him along as he said, "Don't bother trying to chide me, Shixiong. I've learned to stop listening."

Cheeky little shit.

They walked for a while longer until finally their pulls of qi differentiated, and Shen Yuan let go of his hand to walk in one direction as Luo Binghe faced the other. It was an eerie thing to hear the footsteps grow farther away, but once they were far enough that he could no longer hear them, he knew to follow his own pull so he could reunite with Shen Yuan faster.

Shen Yuan, now alone, realized easily where his sword was. However, it was only when he hummed softly that he received the same response. There was no grandiose display to pull his sword from the wall, but merely the wave of his hand and the soft vocalization of a song well worn within his memories.

That lithe blade, made to be wielded by not one of battle, but one of peace, responded to the call instantly. A vibrant hum resounded against the iron as a holy and white light ignited against the inscription of the base and flowed through the body and to the tip, leaving the cavern walls bathed in a holy glow of white light.

"Hui Qu, hello old friend."

Shen Yuan could feel the thrumming of qi intermingle with his blade; he could feel the familiar power of possession course through his fingertips until the hilt of his sword fell into his hand and the light of the cavern spread down the hall.

Lustrous Song, a name not meant for mere gratification, the moment Shen Yuan stepped forward to find Luo Binhge, a familiar tune on his tongue, the sword reciprocated such artful precision until the chiming of metal could be heard in crescendo with the voice before it.

He knew better than to wander aimlessly, so he followed the path they had taken before, walking slowly so as to give Luo Binghe the chance to find him. Only it was when pounding footsteps came up from behind him that he realized he hadn't needed to walk as slowly as he had.

He could see the light of his sword, and it seemed it worked as an excellent beacon because not even moments into the familiar song, he heard the clanging of iron against iron, and he was yanked back into a familiar hold.

I didn't expect him to be afraid of the dark, but I suppose it makes sense. No one likes being unable to see their own feet in front of them if they're not used to it. He didn't mind the fact that a broad sword he recognized as Zheng Yang was pressed flat against his own, or the fact that Luo Binghe had tucked his face into the crook of his neck again. His brothers and his peak siblings were rather physically affectionate as well, so it didn't faze him the same way it might have in the past.

Luo Binghe, however, recognized the blade he saw only for a split second the moment he caught sight of the light emitting off of it, and didn't feel inclined to withhold the urge to wrap his arms around Shen Yuan again. Mint and vanilla...he never got close enough aside from sparring with Liu Qingge, but if he could...would he feel the same way as he does now? Agarwood and bergamot with only a hint of sage.

A dangerous experiment, but he was also a curious type, so he'd find out for himself.

"Let's go now," Shen Yuan hummed. "Luo-shixiong won't have to be afraid of the dark anymore; it won't be difficult to find our way out."

Me scared of the dark? Shidi, you'll know someday that I am the thing that most people fear that resides within the dark. Shouldn't little Shidi be scared that I am in the darkness with him? Luo Binghe looked up through his lashes, the holy glow of Hui Qu leaving Shen Yuan bathed in a gentle light that shadowed his face to reveal the haze of his eyes, and Luo Binghe suddenly stopped himself from correcting the misconception.

"Yes, Yuan-shidi...this one doesn't like the dark, please help me through it."

Shen Yuan smiled at the admission and the request for help. See Shixiong! It isn't as hard as it seems! That's all you have to do, and of course I'll help!

Nodding, he made sure that Hui Qu was extended in front of them, and Shen Yuan walked ahead with a hand on top of the one Luo Binghe had on his shoulder. "We'll be out in a moment, Shixiong."

It wasn't until Luo Binghe saw the shadows of their feet that he begrudgingly released Shen Yuan from his grip. It would do him no good to be seen by Shen Qingqiu or Yue Qingyuan. However, once they left the mouth of the cave, it wasn't the two he had expected to greet them. Liu Qinnge stood behind her, but at the very front, with even Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu shadowed, stood Ci Liang and Hu Lieling.

Luo Binghe peered over to the left, finding Liu Qingge just as confused. Ci Liang and Hu Lieling weren't exactly paying attention, talking idly and softly with Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu. One with an almost excited expression, and the other just a bit more apprehensive.

One thought ran across his mind: get around those two and get out of here! They haven't been able to have a sparring session in a while anyway, so it would be best if Shen Yuan got his first lesson from them anyway.

"Shizun?"

Right, spiritual echolocation. Damn it.

Hu Lieling turned to him, smile widening at the sight of the snow-white blade in his hand, all but entirely ignoring Luo Binghe, who was still practically glued to his back. However, Ci Liang did not miss such proximity and sent a chiding glare at Luo Binghe, who pretended he didn't see it.

"Shen Yuan," She stepped forward, not even sparing a glance at Luo Binghe. Which he didn't mind, the woman was almost...unsettling to some degree. "Let Shizun see your blade."

Shen Yuan met her halfway, extending his blade out to her with the hilt facing her. From behind him and off to the side, Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe both tensed at the sight of the tip aimed all too perfectly at his heart.

Take away the blade, move it, don't aim it at yourself like that, don't–.

"What a lovely thing." She admired the hilt before taking it from him. Inspecting it carefully before reading out the name inscribed on the base. "Hui Qu? Lustrous Song? What a perfect name." She handed the sword back to him, but before he could attempt to let it rest at his side, Ci Liang stepped forward and grabbed him by the sash of his belt.

If she saw Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge sneer at the lack of couth, then she only felt smug about it. Her Shidi first brutes! Her sweet little Xiao-Shidi didn't need to be influenced by such characters! For once, she actually agreed with Shen Qingqiu! Her Xiao-Shidi had much better friends in Ling Shou; hell, she even preferred Shang Qinghua! What was with these two recently!? Didn't they always fight with her, Xiao-Shidi!? They'd raise his blood pressure too much!

She quickly helped him tie the scabbard to his belt, securing it before helping Shen Yuan place his sword inside. It was a bit too big for his longsword, but it would be a good holder for the time being.

"We'll get Xiao-Shidi a new one once we return to Ling Shou." She reassured, patting her Shidi's jaw as Shen Yuan nodded.

"Yes, and we will be returning promptly, come along now." Hu Lieling hummed, almost...excitedly. Shen Yuan raised a brow at the tone. His Shizun normally only kept about a soft and breathy tone, sometimes tinted with amusement, but now she sounded almost...anticipating?

"Da-ge? Er-ge?" Were they coming along? His Geges would want to see his sword as well. He didn't want to leave them so soon either. They hadn't had much time with each other recently, and he still wanted to thank his Da-ge properly for his bow, and he wanted to make the first shot with it with his Da-ge present! A bullseye as well! What better way of showing his appreciation and dedication?

"We're here, Didi." Shen Qingqiu reassured, following close to Hu Lieling with a knowing expression and a smug tone. Hu Lieling didn't comment on his countenance, but the reciprocating laugh was more than enough to show her position. What a strange reaction from his Er-ge and Shizun!

Yue Qingyuan hummed affirmatively, nodding with a politically polite smile to both Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe before surpassing Ci Liang and taking Shen Yuan by the shoulder, fingers nearly curling around his neck as he said, "Yes, let's go now, A-Yuan. Come with your Geges." Shen Yuan nodded, unfazed by the hold.

Ci Liang, on the other hand, raised an inquisitive brow at the sight eyeing Yue Qingyuan with a knowing look that only left the future sect leader smiling wryly, nodding as he tugged gently, and Shen Yuan followed his lead without hesitation.

Interesting.

Before taking more than a few steps, Shen Yuan tried to turn around and at least smile at his Shixiong before leaving, but his brother didn't relent, and he realized that his Da-ge likely didn't know that he was just trying to say goodbye! Ah, well, a quick goodbye was just fine; it wasn't like his Da-ge was trying to purposefully be rude! "This one will meet up with Liu-shixiong and Luo-shixiong later!"

Ci Liang chuckled at the quick attempt of a polite goodbye, but Yue Qingyuan only sighed softly, urging Shen Yuan forward just a little faster. However, the moment the group was out of sight, Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe both shared an understanding look and one of annoyance.

Now they had the Shijie and Shizun to deal with, lovely.

It was only once they had made it away from the Wan Jian Hall of Swords that Yue Qingyuan led Shen Yuan to ride Xiao Yingzi, leading him back to Ling Shou with the others close behind on their swords.

They were acting a tad bit strange, but Shen Yuan chalked it up to nothing. Surely if something was going on, he'd know! "Shidi! Finally, you're back, just in time!" Ah, well, he's been wrong before.

Shen Yuan dismounted, patting Xiao Yingzi's side as Song Rong ran up to him, embracing him tightly while the beast at their side whinnied in annoyance, digging at the ground while Song Rong rolled his eyes, "He's my Shidi before your rider, you great big beast!" Xiao Yingzi responded by trying to bite him.

"Ack!" Song Rong jumped away before he could earn himself another scar from the horse's teeth. "Demon horse! Shidi! Don't you know how cruel Xiao Yignzi is? Don't let this abuse go on any longer! Shixiong will find you a calm-tempered stallion that will suit your tastes!"

Shen Yuan scoffed at the threat, knowing that by now, every one of his Shixiong and Shijie had long since given up on the prospect of convincing him to give up Xiao Yingzi. However, his steed took the threat just as seriously as always and head-butted Song Rong in the chest.

From behind him, Shen Qingqiu laughed at the sight, taking Shen Yuan by the shoulder as he looked at the man kneeling a few feet away from the horse, holding his chest. "Well, a lesson was learned today, wasn't it?"

"Shut your mouth, you traitor." Song Rong pointed accusingly at Shen Qingqiu. What crap was this!? Wasn't Shen Qingqiu just as against Xiao Yingzi!? Why was his ally turning against him!?

Shen Yuan chuckled at the remark, however, quickly turned when he felt his Shizun's presence behind him once again. "Shen Yuan, follow me now." Shen Qingqiu patted him on the shoulder, and he heard Yue Qingyuan make a soft sound of encouragement as he followed his Shizun's footsteps.

Ci Liang was at her side once again, only this time, she whistled softly and pulled Shen Yuan to walk between the two this time, rather than just at Ci Liang's side. "Shen Yuan," the sunlight flittered in her predatory gaze, giving way to a myriad of greens and yellows of her irises. Her pupils that of slits only seemed to dilate as she looked down at this disciple of hers, and her decision was clear. "Do you know our traditions of choosing a head disciple?"

The question surprised him, but Shen Yuan quickly recovered and answered. "Yes, Shizun. One must have our four arts masters. Spiritual and demonic beast taming, the musical arts of both fauna and flora, spiritual flora manipulation, and a spiritual weapon of some kind, along with its training to quell any beasts that cannot be tamed."

Hu Lieling hummed affirmatively, leading her disciples through the meadows of the north side of Ling Shou. The sounds of animals were always present in Ling Shou, so the song of Rainbow Sparrows was of no surprise as they passed through. "Can Shen Yuan tell me when a head disciple for Ling Shou is chosen?"

What were these questions? "At least a year or two in advance of the current generation of peak lords ascending, Shizun." Wait...was she trying to say...? "Is...Is Shizun and the other peak lords ascending soon?"

That's right...he'd forgotten. His brothers became peak lords when he was seventeen, nearly eighteen. So that meant, within the next year and a half...his Shizun would be gone.

"Yes, we have decided that come the summer after the one approaching, we will ascend to the heavens, and our heirs shall take over their peaks. We have all chosen suitable leaders, and now only comes the time of preparation."

Ah...He couldn't help but feel crestfallen. He knew that the day would come when his brothers took their roles, and the next generation would rise to take the mantle, but it still felt all too soon. But did this mean his Shizun was trying to tell him Ci Liang was becoming the head disciple? Finally! He knew his Da-Shijie was always meant for the role!

While equally crestfallen, he turned to face his Da-Shijie, smiling with a mixture of excitement and pride. "Da-Shijie will be an excellent head disciple then, Shizun! She already knows it all! She taught this one everything as well!"

Ci Liang made a startled sound before breaking into a fit of laughter, all the while Shen Yuan faltered as he tried to keep up with his Da-Shijie and Shizun. What was she laughing for? Was she nervous? Why? His Da-Shijie was the perfect choice for Peak Lord of Ling Shou!

Hu Lieling took pity on the confused expression, finding the unassuming countenance endearing as she led her disciple to look up at her, saying, "No, no. Liang is not my choice."

What!? Forgetting his manners and his sense of decorum, Shen Yuan immediately questioned his Shizun for the first time. "Who then!? Shizun, there is no one better than Da-Shijie! How could you choose anyone but her!? She deserves such a position! She works very hard all the time!"

Surprised, but not against this show of protectiveness, Hu Lieling only smiled wider as she said, "This one did try to convince her to take on the position with my other choice, leaving two peak lords instead of one, but she refused."

Caught by surprise, Shen Yuan turned slowly to face his Da-Shijie, who had only then recovered from her laughing fit. "Da-Shijie? Why?"

Ci Liang hummed softly, patting his cheek as she said, "Xiao-Shidi, this one did not wish to take the mantle, not even if it would have been with you. My path does not call for me to remain here for the immortal life; this one has chosen to live out her life as a mortal with her soulmate."

"Wait, Da-Shijie won't be–. Wait, me!?" Shen Yuan screeched, startling back as his back hit his Shizun's chest, the woman quickly tucked her arm around his shoulder to stabilize him. Reeling and suddenly overwhelmed, Shen Yuan shouted, "What does Da-Shijie mean, me!? Why would I–. Why not Song-shixiong?! Or Xia-Shijie!? And Da-Shijie won't be–."

"Shh," Ci Liang cupped his face, smoothing the crease of his brows with her thumb as she reassured him. Shushing him and his startled whimpering and mumbling as she brought him into a hug, tucking him beneath her chin as though he were still the child she led back to Ling Shou all those years ago. "Breathe easy now, Xiao-Shidi. Everything will be okay."

Shen Yuan still whimpered worriedly. What did she mean, she wouldn't be here for the immortal life? She would die one day? Who was her soulmate? Why wasn't she going to be the peak lord? Why would they choose him, of all people!?

"Da-Shijie..." He felt his heart aching. He didn't want to let go of her yet; that was one thing he had been so reassured about. His Da-Shijie, his Shijie, and Shixiong in Ling Shou would all follow the same cultivation path; they would never leave each other. So now, to be told something of this extreme, he couldn't understand. "I don't understand."

"Hmm," she sighed softly as she led him to stand before her. Now up to her nose, no longer that little boy who cowered behind her. But soon, a man who would lead their peak into a new generation, who would smile at those coming and leaving. "It is quite simple, Xiao-Shidi. This one, she has found her soulmate, and as I love her, she loves me in return. She is mortal, not a cultivator, and as expected, she will one day die. For this, I choose to stay with her, I will not give up my cultivation practices, but I will not take the path of immortality. I will live my life with her, and when she dies, I shall soon join her so we may reunite in our next life."

Who could she love so much? He hadn't heard of any soulmate like this. Was this person truly so dear and beloved to his Da-Shijie that she would forsake immortality? The very thing that so many of Cang Qiong sought after. "Da-Shijie, who could you love so much?"

Ci Liang smiled thoughtfully, she had wanted to wait until she was here too. But she had been caught up in her work and wouldn't make it for another day or so, and she couldn't in good conscience leave her Xiao-Shidi wondering for so long. So, despite the consequences it would surely bring down upon her, she said, "Bai Daiyu, Xiao-Shidi. It was only some time ago, and we hadn't made any decisions, hence neither of us said anything to you until now." She sighed at the shocked expression, hoping that this news wouldn't be too damning to her character from her Shidi's perspective. She cupped his hands in hers and said, "But now, we have both decided what we want from our lives. This one...This one never craved immortality as others have, nor have I craved leadership. But now...now I have something I truly yearn for, and with that, I hope that Yuan can forgive me."

Forgive her? What was there to forgive? If anything, shouldn't it be he who apologized to her?

Back then, his Jiejie...she had died because of him in that fire. She never saw the world as she wished, and because of that, Ci Liang had never met her fated one. Just the same, she had no reason to deny Hu Lieling back then as she did now; she had no reason to go after the life she wished.

In the end, the two passed each other by and never met.

"Of course, if Yuan cannot comprehend this, or if he feels he cannot take the role of head disciple, then this one will take it. Do not feel pressured, Xiao-Shidi. Your Da-Shijie will find a way, Daiyu as well would not want you to be forced in—."

"I'll take the position." Was he sure of what he was doing? Hell no. But was he about to let Bai Daiyu, his beloved Jiejie, and Ci Liang, his savior of a Shijie, pass each other by again? Absolutely fucking not. Kill him first. "This one...This one wants his Jiejie and his Da-Shijie to live the life they want together...this one...is only concerned if he will live up to his Da-Shijie's expectations."

Ci Liang laughed out a thankful cry, hugging her Xiao-Shidi tightly as she reassured, "Live up to my expectations? Oh, Yuan, precious one, no. Understand something, you have always surpassed my expectations. This one, when we first met, only wanted you to learn to walk by yourself. You did. Then perhaps learn how to control the plants even if only minutely. You did and so much more. Then harness the musical aspect of calming beasts. You did. Then connect with the beasts, call upon them as you would an army. You did just that." She cupped his face, raising his head to look directly at her as she pressed her forehead to his, smiling as she proclaimed, "And you far exceeded my expectations. You created a talisman that can read to you as a person could; you have done so many things here. In such little time, Yuan, do you understand? You have always gone far and above my expectations, you have made me and so many others so proud. What could possibly pose a challenge to you that you could not surpass?"

Shen Yuan sniffled at her proclamation, trying to stave off the tears pooling in his eyes. Though Ci Liang only breathed out a soft laugh as she wiped at his eyes for him, speaking softly, "Xiao-Shidi will not be alone, don't you know? Your Shixiong and Shijie will never leave you. You will not lead alone, you will not fight alone, and you will never be alone again. Xiao-Shidi, do you understand? Your family will never forget you."

"Da-Shijie, what about Song-shixiong? Or Xia-Shijie? Wouldn't they be good peak lords?"

"They wanted you to be peak lord," Hu Lieling cut in. Reaching out to rest her hand on Shen Yuan's head before combing her fingers through his hair. "When asked, they said none would lead the next generation into an era and mindset of peace better than their Xiao-Shidi."

They did? When? They really...Do they really think that?

Hu Lieling chuckled at his expression. This little disciple of hers. So disbelieving, unable to see his efforts and the fruit it bears, and the reverence that others have for him. "This Shizun, as well, believes that Shen Yuan will be the perfect head disciple. His brothers also agree, while they worry for your well-being, they agree that Shen Yuan would be an excellent peak lord, and with his Shixiong and Shijie at his side, who better?"

He could name a few people. He could name a lot of people, actually! His Song-shixiong, his Xia-shijie, literally any of his Shixiong or Shijie, thank you very much! They would all do an amazing job!

But...But his Da-Shijie and his Jiejie...believed in him, and they wanted this for him too.

He wouldn't disappoint them.

"Then..." Stepping away to stand before them, he bowed deeply at the waist, saying, "This one will accept the honor gratefully."

Hu Lieling grabbed him by the hand, leading him to stand next to her as she pushed him to lean against her. "This Shizun is glad to hear it, Shen Qinglin."

Chapter Text

"Well then, isn't that impressive?" Tianlang-Jun hummed thoughtfully once the talisman read through the entire transcript of the play Shen Yuan had brought for him. It had been a shock that the young man had actually been able to do it, but it was nonetheless something for which he was rather grateful.

He loved Shen Yuan's stories! Truly he did, but he needed some drama!

Shen Yuan, however, cringed at the final ending. He could have gone his entire life—both of them—without ever having heard that play, and he would have slept just fine. But now...ugh, now he had to know the fate of Hua Ling who just had to be married to the governor's son, and so went through a few hours' worth of nonsense for it.

Only to die in the end!

What the hell kind of ending!?

After all that demanding work!? Bullshit!

"You're tastes in plays is questionable." Shen Yuan grumbled. He could have read poetry over that. Hell, even Shang Qinghua's attempts at stories would have been better!

"Yuan is still young; he will come to understand their appeal as he gets older."

"What was appealing about that!?" Shen Yuan screeched, startling Zhuzhi-Lang, who had curled up around his legs where Shen Yuan laid out a blanket to keep him safe from the cold. He was getting better at regulating his temperature, but he wasn't sure if Zhuzhi-Lang could do the same, so he brought a blanket.

Tianlang-Jun laughed at his exasperation, however, for the second time that night, his eye caught the scabbard that hung at Shen Yuan's waist—painted a gradient of arctic blue and crimson red that bled into each other until it became a lavender color of sorts. It had been something that earned his attention immediately.

That and the fact that Shen Yuan had quite literally fallen out of a tree upon his arrival. Startling Zhuzhi-Lang into slithering halfway up the trunk to inspect Shen Yuan where he hung over a branch. His snow-white blade lay on the ground, emitting a soft glow as it hummed softly, calling out for its master.

Finally, his curiosity was no longer ignorable, so he asked, "Yuan, tell this Lord of your sword, yes? This one feels rather wronged that Yuan wouldn't tell me that story."

Shen Yuan hesitated at the question. Of course, he'd planned to tell Tianlang-Jun of the...recent developments, he just hadn't been entirely sure how he was to do that. But he supposed, it was better to just get it over with, wasn't it?

"This one...earned his sword Hui Qu through the Sword Retrieval Ceremony that every disciple of Cang Qiong goes through to prove themselves ready for night hunts and other missions on their own. Luo-shixiong actually went along with me, he earned his sword Zheng Yang as well."

"Really, together?" Tianlang-Jun couldn't help but smirk, but otherwise said nothing else on the matter. However, he could see the nervous twitch of Shen Yuan's hands against his knees and quickly grasped his attention on it. "Was there anything else that happened, Yuan?"

Damn, his sense of perception!

"Yes, Junshang..."

Raising a brow at the tone, Tianlang-Jun lulled, "Well then, tell this venerable one. Surely, it can't be as bad as Yuan believes it to be."

Sighing, he steeled himself with a heavy breath, saying, "This one...This one was named the Head Disciple of Ling Shou, the future peak lord under the courtesy name Shen Qinglin, and I will likely be rather busy because of this. So, I won't be able to come to Junshang as often, I'm sorry."

Suddenly, Shen Yuan jumped when he heard Tianlang-Jun burst out laughing, genuine and carefree, he couldn't help but pinch his expression in confusion. "Yuan! You silly boy! Why would you being named for such a position be a bad thing? Shouldn't you be more ecstatic? This means that you will have more say in things, why would this Lord be upset about such a fact?"

"But I won't have that much free time, and you—."

"Will be fine, Yuan." Tianlang-Jun interrupted, humming thoughtfully to himself as he thought over the idea. He wasn't entirely sure of the rankings of Cang Qiong, but he did know that a peak lord still had a considerable amount of power, and Shen Yuan's brothers were the future Sect Leader and Qing Jing Peak Lord. So surely, that was a good sign. "This Emperor has been here for nearly a decade, a bit more time added to it because of circumstances you couldn't control but will no doubt help us in the future is of no concern to me."

Shen Yuan nodded slowly; he still couldn't help but feel uneasy. He would like to know that Tianlang-Jun was out and free as soon as possible, but he supposed that rushing these things truly wasn't a promising idea. "Yes, Junshang...but this one still hasn't been able to get the Hell's-Fire Orchid or the Eclipsed-Sunflower."

At the counter, Tianlang-Jun couldn't help but chuckle fondly. How was a boy like Shen Yuan meant to get such rare plants so quickly? Even if his ideas were promising, there was never an expectation that they would go quickly. "If Yuan is so concerned over such details, why doesn't he have that Shang friend of his have his ice demon collect them for you."

Shen Yuan couldn't help but halt at the suggestion. What an idea, Tianlang-Jun! he didn't want to kill his closest friend, thank you very much! "Majesty, I don't wish to get my friend killed."

"Killed?" Tianlang-Jun hummed, raising a brow at the statement. "What does Yuan mean? That Shang fellow is in cohorts with Mobei-Jun, the future ruler of the northern deserts, yes? I thought Yuan said they were close?"

"I only said that Mobei-Jun is rather...cruel to Qinghua, most times. He always beats him too! Majesty has to understand that if Qinghua asked that—that, monster for anything, surely Mobei-Jun would break him in two!"

"Hm? Why would he do such a thing?" Tianlang-Jun chuckled, realizing belatedly where the confusion was coming from. "Ah, now it is clear. Yuan, do you understand how demons tend to mate? Or court someone perhaps?"

What does that have to do with anything?

When Shen Yuan shook his head, Tianlang-Jun made an understanding sound as he said, "Yuan, for demons, testing another's strength is how one is to know if they are compatible. Of course, demons and humans vary in physical abilities. So, whereas a demon would rip another's arm off to see if they were strong enough, a demon would perhaps beat a human continuously and almost cruelly to your standards as a form of courting."

Baffled beyond comprehension, Shen Yuan sat there dumbly for a moment, unable to fully process what was said until he shouted, "Tianlang-Jun! Surely you must be mistaken!" Like hell that jerk was courting his friend! Because if that's what he was doing this time around, then surely it was what he was doing in their last life as well!

Mobei-Jun killed Shang Qinghua in their last life! What kind of courting ritual is that!?

Tianlang-Jun laughed at the reaction, countering, "Yuan, has this Mobei-Jun ever truly given a beating severe enough to kill him? Has he ever actively tried to? Believe this Emperor, little one, if that young master wished to hurt or kill that Shang fellow, then your friend would have been dead from the first moment. When a demon does not like something, they kill it, immediately. If your friend is still alive after all these years, then this Lord has no doubts that all that must be done to settle his...predicament; tell him to hit Mobei-Jun back."

There's no way that could work, right? Is Mobei-Jun seriously courting Qinghua!? Then why...Why did he kill him back then?

"But what if...what if he did kill him? Even after all this time of courting, what does that mean?"

Tianlang-Jun made a thoughtful sound, thinking to himself for a moment before saying, "It would be a rather curious situation. Perhaps a betrayal of sorts on the other party's side, but even then, such things are rather common in demonic courting rituals and mating. Demons are rather possessive, Yuan, it is rare that they would ever let someone take what they desire from them aside from themselves. So, for a demon to kill someone they desire so clearly and desperately, it likely either means that they had no other option, perhaps a form of mercy. Or perhaps as the last-ditch effort to keep that person all to themselves, especially if that person tried to leave them."

Oh.

Oh, that made things rather tragic. And a bit more fucked up. Hasn't anyone ever heard of talking to each other!? If Mobei-Jun liked him why wouldn't he just say it!?

Shen Yuan sighed heavily at the realization. Shang Qinghua wasn't going to believe this. Wait no, scratch that. He should have been the first to know! He wrote this damn world and all of its strange rituals for things! Why wouldn't he know!?

"So...Qinghua just needs to hit him?"

"One hit back and this Emperor guarantees that Mobei-Jun will be elated! He'd likely do just about anything that Shang friend of yours asked him to if he's been patient enough to court him for this long without any results."

Shen Yuan couldn't help but mumble, "Demon customs are rather strange..."

Tianlang-Jun chuckled at his expression, saying, "Yes, well it does help that demons have stronger abilities than humans." He pointedly swallowed down the fact that the way Shen Yuan had been describing his son's behavior since they first met, towards both him and that Bai Zhan Peak Head Disciple, was practically all in the same light as Mobei-Jun.

Not to worry son! Father won't expose your crushes just yet, but you better hurry with it! Father is impatient!

"Wife, you've lost your mind!" Shang Qinghua hissed under his breath. The two walked along the rainbow bridge as Shen Yuan helped him carry the finished scrolls and documents to Qiong Ding where they would be archived for the historical records of the sect. "Hit Mobei-Jun back!? I'll die!"

Shen Yuan nodded sympathetically, not even surprised by the reaction. "That's what Tianlang-Jun said to do...He said that demons uhm, beat each other as a form of courting?"

Shang Qinghua laughed hysterically, looking up at the sky and lighting a candle in his heart. "You've spent too much time with him! I'll really die, Yuan! My King will kill me!" When he looked back at Shen Yuan, the young man only shrugged.

"It wouldn't hurt just to try, right?" He murmured, adjusting his load of documents onto one arm. "I mean, a single hit back after years of him kicking your ass can't really be taken so seriously, could it? Even if it doesn't mean what Tianlang-Jun said it would."

"Wife, I think you underestimate the depth of My King's ice-frozen soul. He's cruel beyond measure! I once saw him cut a demon's arm off just because he offered him a drink!"

"Husband, I think you're holding yourself back. A single hit, perhaps even just a little slap could be enough. Surely he wouldn't be surprised that you would at least try to defend yourself after all of these years."

Shang Qinghua grumbled softly, thinking it over. "...Fine, but I swear on the heavens if I die, I will haunt you."

Shen Yuan chuckled softly, shaking his head. "I would expect nothing less, though I wish you luck on your future engagement."

"Oh shut up."

"Better propose to him better than you did me. You got lucky I was drunk as hell and couldn't even stand on my own, I don't think Mobei-Jun will be as easy."

"Yuan!" Shang Qinghua whined, pouting at his friend even though he knew he couldn't see his expression. He knew well enough that Shen Yuan could practically feel his expression anyway. "How many times do I have to apologize for that!? I was drunk too!"

"Your proposal was literally grabbing the ribbon, calling my name a few times, and tying my hands before taking me to the courthouse."

"I never said I was a smart drunk." Shang Qinghua grumbled, glaring ahead as he remembered that haze of that night. He'd only been peak lord for a few months back then, and he had wanted to convince Shen Yuan to leave his self-isolation. So, he snuck into Qing Jing one night, drank more than a few jugs of wine, and snuck right back out of Qing Jing and into one of the cities near the mountain.

They both had been stumbling drunk, not even coherent, but Shang Qinghua remembered enough to know that some other people were getting married. Likely those of poorer status, as it was a group occasion, and for whatever reason, in his drunken haze he'd decided that the best course of action from there would be to marry Shen Yuan himself.

He chuckled to himself at the memories, it had caused a bit of a problem out of fear that Shen Yuan's brothers would find out, but once they settled themselves enough to decide to just stay married to hide what had happened, they'd actually grown closer as friends.

Shen Yuan scoffed playfully, reaching out to pat Shang Qinghua's shoulder as he said, "Definitely not a smart drunk, but a decent husband."

"I knew you loved me~"

"I will push you off this bridge, husband. I'm content with being a widow."

Shang Qinghua whined again, leaning against him as he groaned pathetically. "You'd cry for me! I know it! You'd miss me!" He pouted when Shen Yuan didn't respond, merely raising a challenging brow, as though saying. 'You wish I would miss you,' with only his expression.

How could his oldest friend be so cruel to him!?

Shen Yuan, however, merely schooled his expression with indifference in the best way he could so he wouldn't relieve those memories. Of course, he'd miss Shang Qinghua. He had missed him. For those moments before his death, those harrowing hours when he carried Shang Qinghua and the rest of the peak lords in Cang Qiong up to Qiong Ding Ancestral Hall so they could be laid to rest in their proper places. His heart had cried out and sobbed wretchedly when he watched his dearest friend die, even if he had been unable to cry anymore or scream, his heart did it loud enough that even the heavens surely could hear his anguish.

He wasn't entirely sure if Shang Qinghua remembered his death, or if he remembered that it had been Shen Yuan who had held him in his final moments. But he didn't want to bring it up. His friend was alive and well, as were his brothers, and the rest of Cang Qiong Moutain. It wasn't important now. They had more important things to worry about.

They only assumed their proper decorum once they entered Qiong Ding. Shang Qinghua was a long-standing poser from two lives, he knew how to act, so it was no chore for him to put on the air of dignity as he walked side by side with Shen Yuan. However, Shen Yuan was no poser. Even in his past life, he'd locked himself up so much because he couldn't lie to save his life. He'd always hide behind the practiced expression of cold indifference, so much so that if he didn't consciously think about it, he'd naturally revert to that expression as a sort of defense mechanism.

Sometimes he wondered if his countenance ever resembled that of his practiced expression from his past life.

So, as they walked through Qiong Ding, head disciples, side by side; Shang Qinghua smiled and nodded politely where it was due, the practiced ease of his station coming to him like second nature. Whereas Shen Yuan could barely keep himself from cringing or smiling awkwardly.

His Shizun had announced his position only a few days ago, so, he wasn't sure if it was a well-known fact yet, or if anyone of the other peaks even recognized him. But it didn't make his inexperienced awkwardness any less terrible.

"Bro, just pretend you're walking through the forest," Shang Qinghua whispered, leaning into his ear. "Trust me, no one stares for as long as it feels like."

Shen Yuan nodded curtly, following Shang Qinghua's advice as he tried to calm himself down. But he could still hear people, he could still feel the foreignness of their presence. He could still sense them, and he felt uneasiness fester like rot in his stomach.

He still couldn't understand those things about himself. Back then, in the past life, things like this would have never bothered him. The eyes watching him; he wouldn't have even spared a second thought, his awkwardness, and his unease wouldn't have even been prevalent. Sometimes, he wondered if he had convinced himself so well back then that he truly just adopted the persona of 'Shen Tianyan' as his own. Or if maybe all of his time in self-isolation truly had impacted him so severely.

This is terrible. Ugh, Shizun, I understand why you never leave Ling Shou now. I wouldn't want to either!

Thankfully, through whatever miracle of the heavens, the walk to the Qiong Ding Fortress, the home of the sect leader and Qiong Ding Peak Lord, was nowhere near as long as Shen Yuan expected through the haze of his memories. As they approached, it was Yue Qingyuan who stepped out from the heavy stone door of the fortress made of stone and wood, designed like a palace, one would surely get lost in there if they didn't know their way around.

"Ah, Didi!" Yue Qingyuan smiled happily upon the sight of his brother, nodding curtly to Shang Qinghua as a polite greeting before taking large steps to meet Shen Yuan halfway, taking the stack of documents from him. "How has Didi been feeling? Has he practiced with Hui Qu at all recently?"

The questions didn't surprise him, rather used to his Da-ge's worrying, Shen Yuan nodded as he said, "This one has been...practicing his best, Da-ge." He heard the quiet click of Yue Qingyuan's tongue, a sound he knew meant that his Da-ge was questioning him. "It's just been a little difficult with keeping balance when flying...I'll get better at it."

Yue Qingyuan hummed understandingly, patting Shen Yuan's shoulder as he said, "This Gege is proud, A-Yuan, don't worry. In time the skill will come to you, for now just stick with your bow whenever you go on night hunts, and don't go alone, also—."

"Da-ge," Shen Yuan laughed wryly. If he let Yue Qingyuan start his spell of worrying, he'd never stop, and today would only be all that much harder. "This one will be alright, Song-shixiong will help me, and Liu Qingge also offered—."

"Didi shouldn't leave Ling Shou." Yue Qingyuan interrupted quickly, clearing his throat sheepishly when both Shang Qinghua and Shen Yuan raised a brow at him. Only one actually eyed him skeptically, while the other merely kept a trusting countenance. "This Da-ge would just prefer it if Didi learned on Ling Shou, where he is more familiar, and Liu-shidi isn't one to stick around often, it could be troublesome for him to try and teach you."

Shang Qinghua snorted softly at the blatant refusal. It had become apparent as of late that Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu weren't as blind to the budding affection between the Bai Zhan disciples and their brother, and they were just as skeptical of it as others from a first glance. It made sense, for the past years, the three never got along. So, to be close and friendly with each other so suddenly and out of nowhere? It left those used to their bickering and squabbling quite confused.

Shen Yuan huffed at his brother's statement. He couldn't blame him, his Er-ge had likely complained to him over Liu Qingge again, most likely an unsatisfactory spar or pointless squabble occurring once again that would leave Shen Qingqiu bitter for a few days. It was unsurprising how his Da-ge catered to him, they were mates after all, so he only shrugged it off, making a note to bring it up again later once his Er-ge forgot about whatever Liu Qingge did to upset him.

"I'll take these to the archives," Shang Qinghua cut in, stifling a grin. "See you once you're finished, Qinglin!" With that, he took the stack from Yue Qingyuan and headed off quickly. The last thing they needed was for Shang Qinghua and Shen Yuan to start shooting off at the mouth with each other, more than likely to get them into some trouble if they weren't paying attention.

Understanding why Shang Qinghua left so quickly, Shen Yuan only smiled as he turned back to his brother, chuckling when Yue Qingyuan made a heavy sound of reluctance. They'd already staved off this day for a while now, he should have gone into the Lingxi Caves immediately after having received his sword, but his brothers had asked him to wait. At least until Shan Lielin cleared him of all injuries and otherwise, giving the 'all clear,' for him to enter the spiritual caves for the first time.

It was tradition, that once a head disciple was named, they were to go into the Lingxi Caves on their own. To both surround themself with the energy that coursed through the very mountain of Cang Qiong and also to strengthen their spiritual core. One wouldn't have to stay in long, perhaps a day or so just to prove that they were capable of handling the spiritual qi within the caves without being overwhelmed and having to leave, thus proving themselves worthy of their future title as a peak lord.

Shen Yuan hadn't gone into the caves until he was seventeen in his past life, having waited quite a while until the very last minute, right before his brothers had been declared as peak lord and sect leader. He couldn't remember much of his time within the caves, how long he stayed there, or what the outcome had been. The only memory he had was that of his past life's Shizun: Guang Lieshui, awaking him inside his cottage, warning him to stay within the walls of his home that he had built by hand. Leaving him to handle the pain and soreness that coursed through his body and the insufferable pounding of his head.

Of course, there was another memory that came to him.

His Da-ge's sorrowful confession from their past life. The revelation of the fact that his Da-ge had known of things he thought would be taken to only his and Shang Qinghua's graves. He tried not to think of those memories, or what happened after, things were different now.

He wouldn't let such things happen again.

Shen Yuan reached out and grabbed his brother's hand and reassured him. "A-Yuan will be alright, Da-ge," he surged forward to hug him, smiling at the tight squeeze that pushed him further into his brother's chest. What a cuddle bug his Da-ge was! "Da-ge won't even notice I'm gone!"

Yue Qingyuan chuckled softly, shaking his head almost mournfully. "Your Gege always notices when you are gone, A-Yuan..." He looked up at the canopy of trees that shielded them from the sun, the ground still laden with snow and only somewhat colder in the shadows. "But your Da-ge is proud, and he knows A-Yuan will do well."

They headed to the caves, side by side as Shen Yuan ran his hand over his scabbard. He couldn't help but feel nervous. He truly had no memories of his first time in the Lingxi Caves, only the moment he had entered, and then the brief and painful moments of being taken back to Qing Jing Peak, being left alone, only to find a gnarly black scar with which its origin settled over his soulmark. Specifically, the symbol that represented him.

Black rot seemed to seep from that scar, rotting the jade green book, and the vines wrapped around it. His Da-ge said that back then, he'd found him in a qi deviation and that Guang Lieshui had threatened him to never say a word of what he learned of his own brother to a single living soul.

Not even him.

But now? Now there were no secrets. Now there was no rush to cultivate to higher power as an excuse to leave Cang Qiong.

Now, it was just him.

There was a sharp sound, like a knife being cut through the air, and Shen Yuan immediately noticed the scent of bamboo and ink. Likewise, he could practically feel the adoration coming off of Yue Qingyuan in waves as Shen Qingqiu landed, Xiu Ya slipping back into its sheathe as his fan snapped open, fanning himself lightly.

"Didi," Shen Yuan followed the call, reaching out to take his Er-ge's hand while his brother cupped his face, checking his clothes and hair before nodding approvingly. It was rare that Shen Yuan ever wore his hair up, normally only hed back in a single braid to keep it out of his face, and today was no different. "Are you ready?"

"Yes, Er-ge." Shen Yuan nodded, smiling reassuringly. His Er-ge was less likely to worry as much as his Da-ge, but if Shen Yuan let him go down that spiral as well, he was even worse than Yue Qingyuan to get him out of it. "This one is prepared."

Shen Qingqiu nodded, humming approvingly when Yue Qingyuan stepped forward, greeting him with a light kiss to the temple before offering his arm to the Qing Jing Peak Head Disciple. Taking his arm, Shen Qingqiu fanned over his face as his free hand slid to Shen Yuan's back, leading him along with them as the youngest grinned at the common knowledge of his brother's affection.

No one would dare to stop them, not that anyone could think to try and separate them when Yue Qingyuan undoubtedly stared at Shen Qingqiu with pure and utter devotion, and Shen Qingqiu held onto his arm with the vice grip of a predator with its jaws locked around its next meal.

He could feel the entrance to the complex cave system the moment they set foot near it. It was a strange feeling, a different variety of extremes and lows, there was little doubt in his mind that if didn't pay close attention inside, he would undoubtedly get lost.

Shen Qingqiu tapped his jaw with his finger, catching his attention as he instructed, "Didi will go into the cave system and find a comfortable place, from there, settle down and do not leave that spot. When you cultivate inside, understand that there is an extreme abundance of spiritual energy and that too much can cause a qi deviation. So, remain vigilant."

Shen Yuan nodded understandingly, having already known all of this, but he didn't mind his Er-ge repeating it. "Yes, Gege, this one will be careful." Shen Qingqiu made a noise of approval as he patted Shen Yuan's cheek before tapping his shoulder as an invitation for him to go inside.

Walking through the cavern, was like having static in his ears. It was hard to differentiate the various energies surrounding him, fuzzy almost in the same way someone's eyesight would be after staring into a bright light too long. However, he followed the single steady path he could find in the maze of energies, until he reached a smaller part of the cavern, and heard the trickling of water from above.

Stepping forward, he knelt down and felt the shallow body of water before him. Coursing with spiritual energy, he also felt the small land mass in the middle of the spiritual pond. Bounding over the water, he landed elegantly on that small land mass, drawing his sword as he fell into the lotus position. He sighed heavily, allowing himself to drift into the easy feeling of meditation.

Of shifting through the spiritual energy around him, coursing it through his veins and threading it through his core slowly. He could feel his limbs lighten, his alertness sharpen, and even feel the small blockages of Without-a-Cure slowly popping free like the aching joints of a person's fingers after having been sat down and writing all day.

He couldn't help but let his thoughts slowly bleed into that of one of those two Shixiong of his. He had told them he would be here, right? That he'd only been gone for a few days at most? They'd done their secession early because of it, evening out Luo Binghe's energies while Liu Qingge cleared his meridians, just so that they wouldn't have a problem if something were to happen in the few days he was gone.

They'd grown closer, so much so that Shen Yuan was almost brave enough to say that they were...friends. Or at the very least good acquaintances, seeing as neither of them seemed to want to kill him.

His heart felt lightened, and he breathed a little easier, sighing contently as the spiritual energy fed into him continuously, fixing what it could at his level, and soothing the rest with only a temporary reprieve.

The scars across his torso and hands, even the few on his legs and feet, didn't hurt as much as he remembered the scars in his past life. There were days when the skin would stretch, and it would ache uncomfortably, or it would itch. But it was never like the pain of waking up aching, sore in unbelievable ways as he forced himself to get up, to do something productive, and only to suffer silently through that never-ending pain for the entire day, hardly given a reprieve even in his sleep.

No, his scars didn't hurt like they used to. So, he couldn't help but wonder why all of a sudden, his chest was beginning to ache.

"Some things are different..." An eerily familiar voice crooned, and Shen Yuan felt a chill run down his spine. "But most important things stay the same."

Shen Yuan bound off of his little island, drawing Hui Qu at the ready as he searched around him. The muddle of energies within the cave system left him unable to pinpoint a single location, but even still, he was able to find that surge of yin energy.

Only...that's all it was. Yin energy. Not the energy of a person, or even a demon. Somehow not demonic, but by no means spiritual. It was entirely resentful, but not even with the slightest trace of a soul to maintain it. The energy shifted around the leaves blowing in the wind, and Shen Yuan found him spinning around almost a dizzying amount to try and keep tabs on it.

However, when a chilling hand rested on his shoulder, he jumped back, expecting to be met with a wide open space as he had identified earlier, only to feel his back hit the stone wall roughly.

Why was there a wall? He was near the pond before, how did he get so close to the cavern wall?!

Unwillingly to wait and find out, Shen Yuan lowered Hui Qu enough that he could make a run for it, following his previous footsteps. That is until he ran head-first into another wall where the entrance to the small cavern should have been. His head throbbed, and his nose burned, where was the entrance? He couldn't sense anything, everything was too muddled.

And that resentful energy seemed to be slowly encompassing the entire space of the cavern.

"Little one, don't run now, you'll hurt yourself." There was something painfully familiar about that voice. Soft and worrisome and yet somehow so cold and uninterested. "Won't you listen to this one? I am merely here to help you."

"Who are you?" Shen Yuan bit out, wiping away the bit of blood that seeped from his nose. It didn't feel broken, but it still stung like a bitch. "What do you want?"

That voice giggled, low and unnerving, he could hear the rustling of fabric as hands seemed to glide across his chest, his shoulders, and even his face. He tried to jump away from such touches, but it was as if this person—no, this thing, was made of nothing but the wind as it followed him without even the sound echo of footsteps, the phantom touches slowly turning into grasps that dragged claws against his clothes, his skin, leaving angry red marks and parts of his clothes torn.

He drew Hui Qu slicing through the air as the holy light of his blade emitted in the dimly lit cavern. However, not even the threat of Hui Qu seemed to deter this thing as that soulless voice hummed in his ear, the tinkling of claws against his blade ringing in his ears. "Oh my darling, we both know you can't use that."

"Away from me!" Shen Yuan hissed, slicing Hui Qu through the air once more. Cursing when he could feel the rush of wind around him, giving way for that thing to take hold of his shoulders again.

"Why do you try to hurt me, little one?" That voice suddenly turned sad, pathetic almost, and Shen Yuan's head throbbed as he tried to figure out why it was so familiar. "Don't you wish to see me again? How I have missed you." Cold air seemed to flood his lungs, and his nostrils burned as he breathed. Shen Yuan quickly jumped away, only to collide with another wall.

Was the cavern shrinking!? Why couldn't he find the entrance!? What was going on!?

"What do you want!?" Shen Yuan shouted, pressing his back against the wall, hoping to at least keep this thing from sneaking up behind him again.

Finally, there was the sound of light footsteps against stone, padding gently toward him, as an equally as cold hand with claws the shape of daggers pressed against his heart, slowly sliding up until it cupped his jaw.

This thing felt real, it felt like a person. But even now, even as it stood before him and touched him, there was no person to detect. Only the resentful buddle of energy before him, formless and without even a soul to connect it to the land of the living.

It was as though he was sensing the dead.

"My dear, I wish to only help you." That voice turned soft, gentle, and quiet. He could practically hear the smile on it—her face. It was familiar, so terribly familiar that his stomach began to ache trying to figure out just how. "I know of your fate...the fate at the hands of those soulmates of yours."

Shen Yuan froze at her words, a chill of ice seeping into his veins. Surely she couldn't know. Surely she didn't mean—.

"Oh my love, that heart of yours...don't you know? The Emperor of the Demon Realm, the Bai Zhan War God...you've known them for so long now, two lives spent to understand...and yet you place your faith in them." Her tone was sickeningly sweet. Honeyed and yet somehow bitter, as though even speaking of their past and future titles put the taste of something foul in her mouth.

Though, Shen Yuan could only gape.

How could this thing know?! How could she, something he wasn't even entirely sure was living, know of his soulmates!? Know of their future titles, their past together?! How could she know!?

"My love, my love...how could I not know?" Shen Yuan shuddered, unnerved, and suddenly felt lightheaded. He tried to make a break for the side, hoping to put some distance between them. Only to run straight into another wall. The cavern had to be closing in on him, why couldn't he get away!? Why was he always being trapped!?

"What. Do. You. Want?" Shen Yuan growled out, his head thumping loudly enough that he couldn't bear to stand any longer. Groaning as it throbbed, it was getting harder to breathe, he needed to get out of here.

That thing, a phantom, a ghost, or perhaps nothing at all, merely strode over to him, caging him in. She smiled, wide and unnatural. A face not even visible from behind her black veil, revealing only the tar-like void of her eyes, unhuman and lacking any emotion.

"I wish to help you, just as I have done before, and will continue to do so for as long as I can, my love." She knelt next to him, petting his hair and pulling him to lean closer. Shen Yuan hissed at the contact and jumped over her, finally standing in open ground, away from the walls. But that only left him just as vulnerable. "Don't you wish to hear my proposal?" Those ice-cold hands were on his shoulders again, from behind him as Hui Qu thrummed violently in his hand, emitting a blinding light that even made him close his eyes.

"I do not. Leave this place! You are unwelcome!" Shen Yuan ordered, raising Hui Qu threateningly. Even if he could not kill this...thing, he knew there was someone in Cang Qiong who could.

His brothers, surely they'd know what to do, and if he couldn't find them, then he could find Liu Qingge, even Luo Binghe.

Liu Qingge fought all types of monsters and malicious spirits, surely he'd know what to do. Luo Binghe was from Bai Zhan as well, he'd been trained in the same arts of battle, he just needed to get out of the cavern, and run to Bai Zhan. He'd ask for their help, and this thing would no longer be any sort of issue.

"Oh my darling, surely you can't be thinking of wanting their help?" Her tone turned condescending. Cruelly so. It left gooseflesh rising on his arms, and his lungs constricting. How...How could she know!? What was going on!?

Hui Qu faltered in his grip, his nerves making his heart rise into his throat. Weakly, he croaked out, "Who are you...and what do you want?"

Hands cupped his face, claws trailed near his temples, and he suddenly couldn't feel his feet. His legs felt numb and he was barely able to take a step back, once again into another wall, as he inhaled sharply, desperate for a single moment of fresh air.

It was getting harder to breathe. Why couldn't he breathe?

"My darling, I ask that you only let me help you...I will take away the pain they will cause you, I will protect you, my dear, just let me." Her hands trailed down. One stopping at his heart, the daggers of her claws cutting through the material of his robes, revealing his soulmark. The other stopped at his solar plexus, rhythmically tapping against the exposed skin. "This one wishes to have her dear little butterfly with her again...don't you understand? It will all be alright now...just allow me..."

Shen Yuan panted raggedly. He couldn't breathe, those daggers against his skin made his head throb enough that his eyes felt like they were bulging out of his head. What was happening? What had she called him? Why was she so familiar?

"Don't you wish to see me again, my little butterfly?"

Without meaning to. Without even thinking. Breathless and lightheaded. Only for a moment, only for such a brief moment, he swore he heard someone else entirely, and he answered without the ability to stop himself. "Yes."

There was a sudden pain. Sharp and hot, it dug its way into his flesh and ripped a terrible sound from his throat. It felt as though someone was slowly ripping away his flesh, digging into the muscle and tearing.

He was able to fall to his knees, grabbing at the wound on his chest.

Five puncture holes, and nothing more, merely the size of a finger each. But they burned like hellfire. It felt as though those few puncture wounds were surging up through his veins, turning his blood into molten fire as his skin was torn away and the muscles ripped out.

That same voice, cold and uninterested merely said, "Just a little longer, my dear. It will all be over soon."

Where had he heard that before?

There was something wrong.

He'd entered the caves without telling his Er-ge, his Da-ge had only seen him for a moment, but he didn't think to greet him or let his brother stop him for a chat. But now, here he was, standing before this...woman? Who extended her hand to him.

"I hope that Tianyan will understand where I am coming from." Her voice was overly sweet, vague in the worst ways, and Shen Tianyan glared at the fact he could not see her face.

He didn't know her, and yet here she was, offering to help him.

His throat burned slightly, and he spoke as clearly as possible. "What do you want?"

Her eyes crinkled, clearly from smiling, and she swept out her hand. The shadow-like sleeve of her black ropes billowing as though made of wind. "I come to offer my help to you, little one." Her steps against the ground echoed like an earthquake, and Shen Tianyan instinctively took a step back as she stepped closer. "Your soulmates...are in great danger..."

What?

A sudden feeling overcame him, sick and cold. He felt his stomach constrict painfully and ice flooded his veins. He didn't know his soulmates. He hadn't even so much as stepped a foot off of Qing Jing Peak until this past month to retrieve his spiritual sword and enter the Lingxi Caves. But that didn't mean that he had forgotten about the two destined for him by fate, their marks left over his very heart to serve as their constant reminder.

In danger? How are they in danger?

Steeling his expression, he asked, "What do you mean?"

She was close enough now that he stood at eye level with her. They were the same height, if not him being only a bit taller, but that didn't make him feel any less than a mouse in her presence. As though she was looming over him, contemplating his fate at her hands.

"There will come a day when the skies will darken. When one shall fall, torn apart in the depths of hell with nothing but the shards of his existence as a reminder. The other will fight a victor-less battle, broken and beaten until all that is left is a worthless husk, unable to fight or move as a cry will tear through the sky, leaving him in the battle for all eternity." The void of her eyes seemed to be pulling him in. There was darkness in the corners of his vision, and his chest ached painfully at her words.

A part of him that he ignored, a part of that he had tried to kill again and again to no avail screamed. Cried out in horror and screamed for him to stop it. To do whatever it took, to take this...woman's help, to do anything.

Don't let that happen! Don't! No, no, no, no!

His head ached, and he suddenly couldn't breathe. Battling with this part of himself always hurt him. It always left him tired and irritable, but now, he physically couldn't handle it, and he screwed his eyes shut as the phantom sounds of agonizing screams of the damned filled his ears.

Hands pressed against his chest, taking his attention back to the present. The woman before him nodded understandingly, asking only, "My dear, will you allow me to help? You will be hurt, you will know pain and suffering...but—."

If it was him that answered then he couldn't recognize that part of himself. The part of himself that answered without hesitation, desperate, and hopeful. A part of him that still believed, that still believed in the trust and hope of two people he didn't know, that still believed there was still a part of him left worthy of love, and that could love anything back in return.

"Yes, anything. Help them."

The woman didn't seem surprised, only closing her eyes for a moment as one hand reached up to cup his face, making him flinch. "Oh, my love...this heart of yours...has always been too good for this world..."

There was a searing pain, something he'd never felt before, and he crumbled immediately. He could feel his throat tear, blood seeping from his mouth as his lungs expelled years worth of torment, daggers of his past piercing through his lungs as he struggled to breathe. Feeling as though his very chest was being ripped apart, he couldn't even open his eyes to look at the woman who stood over him. Watching as he howled in agony like a dying beast, ripping at his clothes until only shreds were left, revealing scars long since formed from the sins of his past.

There was a moment where breathing became easier, only for a moment, until his lungs constricted again, and he felt the cold pendant of his amulet hit his hand as he ripped it from his neck. When he opened his eyes, it appeared as though rot was taking over his skin, spreading up to his neck and further down to his solar plexus. There was a glow emitting from his chest, and he could only absently realize that it was his golden core, practically trying to rip itself free from the confines of his chest.

"Just a little longer, my dear. It will all be over soon." Shen Tianyan's throat finally could no longer handle the torment, and all that was left was the garbled sounds of hoarse screams. The woman, only watched as he writhed on the ground, pushing himself up, only to slam himself to the walls of the cavern. Scraping his skin as if he was trying to smash his head in. "So soon, my love..." She stepped forward and grabbed him to keep him still.

He writhed for a moment longer, unable to fight as he fell to his knees, hacking and sucking in air through a damaged throat, unable to take in a full breath without violently coughing it up only a second later.

A clawed hand held his face, watching as the rot of that posion, that wound, traveled up his neck, spreading to his face as her hand reached down to grab at the golden light in his chest, dagger-like nails digging through flesh to take hold of that light. "Soon, you won't even know what it mean to love...you'll be safe."

There was silence, a ringing in his ears, and then there was the sound of a hurricane.

At least, that's what he had thought.

The woman, thrown back by the typhoon, crashed into the wall, the sheer power of the drawn sword keeping her pinned as the owner of that unyielding weapon charged for her, raising his blade as she cackled. Her body formed into mist, putting herself away from the Qiong Ding Head Disciple, shrieking when she saw Shen Tianyan fall onto the ground, the rot of that poison receeding, leaving nothing but the gore of the thin wounds and ashen skin.

"Away from him!" Roaring over the howling winds, Yue Qingyuan's expression was the personification of deadly. Eyes dilated near into slits, Xuan Su unsheathed fully in his hand, there was nothing stopping him.

She howled as a madman, screaming and raising herself onto her feet, standing against Xuan Su as Yue Qingyuan raised his blade a final time, preparing to lay the final blow. "One way! One way or another! You'll all fall, every one of you, once you're gone, he'll give in! Just wait! His death will be by your hands!"

As Xuan Su crashed down a final time, that silhouette of darkness vanished. Leaving nothing but the echo of her promise behind. Xuan Su struggled back into its sheath, Yue Qingyuan falling to kneel as he coughed, panting weakly as he turned to stare at the young man on the ground.

Scars he'd never known, an old wound that still bled fresh blood, the remenants of claws dug into the heart, and the chilling revelation of secrets long since kept. A cry fell first, then a sob, then a wail. "Didi...Tianyan...! A-Yuan!" Whatever strength that remained was used to push himself forward, vigor rushing through his veins as he grabbed Shen Tianyan, cradling him as he felt for a pulse, sobbing as he apologized. "Didi, A-Yuan...Forgive me, forgive me, A-Yuan...I wanted to get to you...I never wanted to leave you or Xiao-Jiu...It's all this Da-ge's fault, please, A-Yuan, it's this one's fault."

Yue Qingyuan did not hold a dead man that day, but he had to hold those secrets inside him until the day he died. Shen Tianyan awakened eventually, he lived. But that part of him, that part that he had tried so desperately to hide away, the part of him that loved and hoped to be loved in return, was hidden away.

Broken and chained, his heart had been drowned in misery and anger. Left to rot in the throws of weeds and poisonous overgrowth, hidden from the light, and never to be seen. A wall erected to hide that sad little boy inside, to hide the true face of the man who called himself Shen Tianyan.

A mask to hide Shen Yuan.

Shen Yuan screamed from his agony and fury. Memories that he hadn't known he had crashed into him, and he could feel as though his brother was right there again, crying for him, begging for his forgiveness.

"You–!" He grit his teeth, holding back the howls of pain his lungs struggled to breath through. Eyes clouded by misery glared, heatedly and fruriously. "It–. Was you!" He yelled as he clutched his chest, trying with all his might to beat it.

He couldn't be like that again. Cold and indifferent, unfeeling of anything, only to know suffering and pain that would further harden his heart until there was nothing left he could care for, until he no longer had any reason to live.

He couldn't do that to his brothers again. To live as though all hope was lost, as though there was no escape. He couldn't live in that self-inflicted prison of isolation, he couldn't live a life of silence again.

He couldn't do that to Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge again. Soulmates or not, friends or not, he couldn't be so indifferent to them again. He couldn't be that kind of man again, one too scared to go against others. One too cowardly to protect his own disciple. One too weak to protect his disciple, his Shidi, his sect from a monster of his own creation.

Kill him first.

The woman above him, a phantom, a resentful spirit of whom he still didn't know, merely watched, awaiting her chance. Awaiting that glow, to see that holy light, the very source of his strength, the very thing that let him hold on so long.

It was so close, just a little more, only a little bit longer, and then everything would be complete. She'd have her vengeance, she'd have her justice.

Shen Yuan screwed his eyes shut, clenching his fists as he fought against it. He just needed to hold out for a bit longer...just a little longer...even if no one was coming, he couldn't let it happen again. He just needed to hold on, just a little longer.

The silence that fell was familiar, each agongizing second tracked by the drop of blood onto the stone floor, the small sound echoing in his ears. He could feel his muscles spasming, his very bones creaking and aching as they threatened to fracture, and then shatter.

He'd kill himself first. He'd let his body destory itself before letting this happen again. Just a little longer, he'd wait just a little longer.

Falling onto the floor, barely supported by his knees and elbows, he could sense Hui Qu not far from him, still glowing a holy light in the dim cavern. He could see the light, and for a moment, he mourned the fact he wouldn't see the colors of spring again. No matter how distorted and blurry, leaving him unable to navigate or see detail, those blurs of colors were still something he valued.

Just as the light arctic blue colors on Luo Binghe's and Liu Qingge's robes, the few differing aspects of it, such as the silver embroidery on Liu Qingge's and the black on Luo Binghe's that differtriated them whenever Shen Yuan cared to try and notice.

He'd miss them.

There was a shriek, a shrill sound, and Shen Yuan closed his eyes. He didn't want to see past memories play out again. Even if he could hear it, the past coming back to haunt a final time as justice for his sins, he'd pray the heavens showed him enough mercy to at least not let him see it.

A calloused hand grabbed his, then his arm, and then a sturdy arm wrapped around his shoulders, hoisting him up. There was a sharp pain over his heart, then there was an easement, a mercy of the hellfire in his veins subsiding, then cooling. His muscles eased and his bones settled, he groaned soundly at the feeling, inhaling deeply and rejoicing silently at the fact he was able to once again.

Only to find the scent of bitter almonds and lotus.

He couldn't help but laugh, delirious, and pained. "Am I still...being haunted?" He heard a scoff, a heavy sound with an underlying tone of contempt, and the arm around his shoulders tightened enough until he could feel the chest he was propped up against.

"Yuan," Oh, he was here too? Shit, talk about a fucked up nightmare. "Yuan, open your eyes and talk." Hell, he even sounded like Liu Qingge too!

"Stupid fucking nightmares..." He groaned sluggishly, opening his eyes enough to see that the light from Hui Qu had dimmed and the blurred dim colors of white and arctic blue. Wait what?

Shen Yuan groaned again. It felt like he got kicked by a horse, he tried to sit up, but the arm around his shoulders kept him still. "The hell are you trying to do!?" Oh shit that really was them, wasn't it?!

"Am I dead yet?"

Liu Qingge made a low sound, eyeing Luo Binghe while the other flared his nostrils breathing deeply as he bit his lip. "If I ever hear a 'yet,' in a sentence like that again, I'm going to kill you myself." Luo Binghe shot him an icy glare for the comment, but it was clear that the feeling was mutual.

Shen Yuan laughed delirously, mumbling, "Do it, coward."

"Bad Shidi..." Luo Binghe growled, withholding the urge to scream. What they just saw...that thing, what it did to him...the fucking poison, he'd seen it. He remembered it, clear as day. Spreading like the rot of a tree, he'd done the first thing that came to mind, and he still didn't know what was going on. And Shen Yuan was fucking laughing like a drunk man!? "You'll be locked up you hear? Don't think we won't."

Shen Yuan laughed again, saying, "Liu-shixiong and Luo-shixiong can't catch me."

"Does Yuan truly want to bet on that?"

Shen Yuan laughed at them again, giggling as he raised his hand and pressed it to his chest, "Hurts like a bitch..."

Luo Binghe hid his sniffle with a forced laugh, raising a brow as he asked, "Since when does Yuan-shidi have such a mouth?"

"Raised on the street..." They were still in the Lingxi Caves, weren't they? How long had he been in there? It had to have been at least a few days by now. "Er-ge used to beat up the kids that taught me foul words..."

"Yuan," Liu Qingge grabbed his hand, and Shen Yuan hummed softly. Damn, he was tired as hell. He seriously needed a nap. "We have to go, that thing disappeared, but we don't know if she'll come back."

Shen Yuan groaned softly, grabbing Liu Qingge's wrist and using it as a lever to pull himself up. Holy shit, is this what it felt like to fall off a really tall building? However, when he tried to stand up on his own, Luo Binghe reached under him, lifting him off the ground as he began to walk out of the cave. He heard Liu Qingge grab Hui Qu, following right next to them while Shen Yuan scoffed softly.

"I can walk."

"Don't lie to us."

Relenting without much of a fight, Shen Yuan let his head rest against Luo Binghe's shoulder. Bitter almonds and lotus. Agarwood, bergamot, and a hint of sage...they went quite well together.

"Shidi..." Luo Binghe's voice was strained, had he been hurt? Surely that...thing, couldn't have hurt him. He's the protagonist! The strongest man alive! Well...at least soon enough he would be. "In there...What...Who was that? What happened?" He needed to know. That poison, the very thing he killed by absorbing it through his demonic qi, wasn't normal.

It wasn't like Without-a-Cure, it wasn't a physical poison, but something...entirely different. It killed him a little inside that he didn't know what it was, that he couldn't right the wrong before him.

Shen Yuan made a thoughtful sound. His thoughts drifting off when he realized that Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge matched each other's steps. Who would win in a spar against them right now? He knew they sparred occasionally, but it was never serious, and there was never a victor. Would Liu Qingge still be a match for Luo Binghe once they were peak lords and Luo Binghe was the Emperor of the Demon Realm? What—.

"Yuan," Liu Qingge called this time. Ah yes, flat and annoyed tone number five! He was...Oh, he was worried. "What happened, what did that thing do to you?"

"I don't know..." Shen Yuan answered honestly, until a thought came to mind and he suddenly felt like he was about to pass out. Which wouldn't be far off as he felt the blood drain from his face. "I...Don't think she liked my soulmates..."

Chapter Text

“Liu-shixiong, surely you understand how that sounds,” Mu Qingfang sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose while Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe stood in front of him, twin expressions of determination on their faces.

They had explained to him what had happened and what they had found in the Lingxi Caves, but as to be expected, it was rather hard to believe.

The Lingxi Caves were the most powerful source of spiritual energy in all of Cang Qiong, perhaps in all of the Jainghu as well. So, for something even mildly demonic, let alone resentful to exist for longer than a mere second within its domain, and without setting off any of Cang Qiong’s defensive alarms, was rather preposterous.

“She truly was made of resentful energy, Mu-shixiong,” Shen Yuan added, leaning against the side of the bed, all but fighting Mu Qingfang about lying down. Hell no! Yeah, he got stabbed a little in the chest, but other than that he was fine! “She was not of the Human Realm as well, she didn’t even have a true body to identify, entirely resentful energy.”

“Perhaps a ghost, Shidi?” Mu Qingfang offered, turning away from the Bai Zhan disciples while Shen Yuan nodded slightly. “Even then, Shidi. No ghost should be able to materialize within the Lingxi Caves, especially not to the extent that she did.” He gently touched Shen Yuan’s shoulder, a mention of the wounds on his chest, but Shen Yuan only shook his head.

“Surely there must be some way, there’s nothing else that she could have been!” Shen Yuan argued. He was still feeling rather delirious, and strangely…free. He felt lighter, as though someone had just cracked every joint in his body, leaving him feeling limber and full of vigor. So, he forgot his decorum as he bantered with the Qian Cao Head Disciple.

Mu Qingfang shook his head softly. It truly made no sense, but he was only a healer, these sorts of things were not in his specialty, so he didn’t try to argue about it any further. “We’ll see, Qinglin-shidi. Yue-shixiong and Shen-shixiong will be here at any moment, and we will tell for ourselves.”

Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe both groaned and rolled their eyes softly at that. It wasn’t that they didn’t like Shen Qingqiu and Yue Qingyuan, ahem, aside from Luo Binghe…but they truly couldn’t reason with their overbearing nature toward Shen Yuan.

He was nearly an adult, why were they still so picky about who he was friends with!?

However, there had been one new development that had yet to be spoken of. No matter how exaggerated the term ‘new’ may be for it. That thing had dug her claws into Shen Yuan’s chest, five perfect puncture holes in his chest, but its placement was clearly not an accident. Five dagger-like claws, five puncture wounds, and each one surrounding the mark visible on Shen Yuan’s chest.

To bandage him up, and from wounds that likely held some kind of poison that Mu Qingfang had yet to identify, but could concur had no effects at the moment, it was safer to cover the wounds individually, rather than with one large gauze and binding as one may normally do. However, in doing so, even while slightly covered from the different gauze and bindings and his robes, the mark over his heart, the very mark that Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge both knew by heart and soul was visible to any who walked in.

Well, perhaps not directly out in the wide open. But Shen Yuan’s robes had been left open slightly, letting his injuries breathe and allowing Mu Qingfang easy access in case anything happened. So truly, it was only a mere fraction of his chest that was exposed. But that fraction was likely the most important part, and now something that Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe couldn’t look away from.

The only issue when it came to bringing up such a thing as revealing that the three people in the room shared a soulmate mark, was that one was blind! How were they to exactly prove that without having someone vouch for them!? And so far, the only people to have entered the room had been Mu Qingfang and Shan Lielin for a brief moment.

So far, their options were not satisfactory.

But most of all, there was a distinct difference in this mark now at least, for Shen Yuan.

Where rot once corrupted the vine-bound emerald book of the soul’s canvas, there was now a healthy glow to it. There was no rot corrupting the mark, each color vibrant and full of life, just as this Shidi of theirs was. It was six parts relieving and four parts confusing, and worst of all, they couldn’t even ask about it!

Luo Binghe had taken to leaning against the wall, watching those who walked by and as the two frequents entered and left in common unison. A million thoughts were running through his mind, questions old and new alike swirling together in a harrowing typhoon. He wanted his answers, he wanted the lies of the past to be erased, and most of all, he wanted to know that whatever happened before, whatever made his Shifu…the way he’d been, it would never happen again.

It couldn’t happen again, whatever it was, whether it was this incident and perhaps just as Luo Binghe had come to realize in terms of the other unexplained terrible incidences of his Shifu’s life, that no one had been there for him to help him through it. Or perhaps something else entirely, he couldn’t let it happen again. He couldn’t bear to let his Shifu—no, Shen Yuan, suffer the same fate. To believe that he needed to become that cold and indifferent person.

Liu Qingge, however, was in no better position.

He had no answers. He had no idea where to place his thoughts.

He had questions that he knew couldn’t be answered, and to an extent, he didn’t want to answer them.

He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know if this had happened to Shen Tianyan in their past life. He didn’t know if he wanted to know what caused his Xiao-shixiong to become the way he had. He didn’t know if he could handle such information, if his very soul could withstand the blow it would be to his heart and pride.

He’d known Shen Tianyan by then. True, it was only brief passing byes and the polite exchange of names. But he’d known him. He’d seen him stand at Yue Qingyuan’s and Shen Qingqiu’s side before he changed entirely. He’d seen him stand behind Shen Qingqiu and hide, looking away from the others around them, and he’d thought him a coward.

He'd thought Shen Tianyan a coward.

His soul could not handle the substantial blow it would take to learn what had caused all of that; had occurred right under his nose. That the very reason his Xiao-shixiong never spoke, stood stiffly and with a forever cold and distant expression on his face was because of something he’d missed. He wouldn’t be able to take it, and yet, he couldn’t bear the thought of never knowing again. Of living in ignorance until it was too late. Until there was nothing else he could do.

Liu Qingge’s eyes lingered on the sliver of the mark exposed. Vibrant colors blended well together, and there wasn’t even a trace of a scratch on that mark. Let alone the inkling black rot of a scar from a life long since lost, and yet, he couldn’t help but stare. Almost too terrified to look away, in fear that if he even closed his eyes, he’d be back there.

Back in Qiong Ding Ancestral Hall. Back to that state of paralysis, unable to move, let alone speak. Back in the empty and bloodstained corridor, begging and pleading—something he’d never done before, within his heart for Shen Tianyan to stay. Don’t leave him. Don’t leave. Don’t go out there, they’ll hurt you. I’ll protect you, please, please just let me protect you. Don’t fight them, please don’t fight them. Don’t go, please don’t go.

A shuddering breath sent gooseflesh along his arms. A chill ran down his spine, and he clicked his tongue to pop his ears, hoping not to hear that horrific song. Hoping to never again relieve the moment he’d watch the true desperation a man could be driven to, to protect those he cared about, even if there was no point. Where he’d seen for himself, just how reckless, selfless, and heart-wrenching Shen Tiyan—Shen Yuan, truly was. All too late.

He opened his eyes to see Luo Binghe staring at him. For a moment questioningly, and then after a second, knowingly. Black eyes that held the very stars motioned to the sliver of a mark known by them both, a silent question, but a statement all the same.

They both knew what they knew, but it didn’t mean they could utilize it, not yet.

Liu Qingge grunted softly, ignoring Luo Binghe’s eyes, a silent order for his Shidi to keep his trap shut. Luo Binghe groaned at him, a bitter and hysterical chuckle leaving his lips. Liu Qingge knew he was being rather unfair, that ignoring the almost constant question of his and Luo Binghe’s status as soulmates from the very young man himself was wrong. But damn it, he really didn’t want to open that jar of wine. He knew the conversation would be bitter, likely something to make him uncomfortable and gag. He had a good constitution for wine and alcohol, it’d never been something to bother him, but now…no matter what his rites and principals called for in the face of this matter, he didn’t even want to smell the wine before him.

Call him a coward, for once, his pride could be set aside at least for the moment.

It was already enough to try and decipher Shen Yuan, and now he had that overdramatic little demon to deal with as well!? And more than just as his Shidi!? Along with Shen Yuan thrown into the mix, more than likely creating havoc wherever they went!? He was going to lose his mind! Mark his words!

The tense silence was rather unnerving, and he didn’t exactly like listening to Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge breathe so close to him without saying a word. He was still confused about how they’d found him in the first place, how they had known he was even in danger. Why had they been together? He could remember why his Da-ge had found him back then, it made sense, but Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe? Not at all.

“If you two are worried I’m dying, Mu-shixiong the poison is harmless apparently. My qi apparently already settled it.” Another lie, or at least, a lie on his part. Mu Qingfang truly did believe that was the reason, only Shen Yuan didn’t have the gall to tell him that it was in fact Luo Binghe’s hold over his demonic heritage that had drawn the poison from his system and had likely kept him from becoming…whatever he’d been in his past life.

Honestly, could he even truly say he’d been human? Whatever that…thing had done to him, it left him different. Drastically different, it affected his judgment and reasoning and turned him into someone he couldn’t even recognize in his own memories. Those memories now felt foreign, still just as painful and harrowing, but almost…as if they weren’t his own.

Luo Binghe couldn’t help but laugh bitterly. It was still so strange to hear his Shidi speak so casually, bored, and almost…teasing. It was almost a little infuriating, but all at the same time, so incredibly welcoming that his chest felt warm whenever he heard such a carefree tone. “Ha, then there is something to be thankful for…” Luo Binghe murmured, eyeing Liu Qingge as he grunted in agreement.

Ignoring the silent order that Liu Qingge had given him a moment before, Luo Binghe slowly opened his lapels, the tan skin of his chest almost coming completely onto display. Shen Yuan sensed the world around them by touch, right? Then he’d be able to sense the signification of their mark, and they could go from there.

Screw what Liu Qingge said or didn’t say! He was sick of waiting!

However, before he could even step out from behind Liu Qingge, taking himself off of the wall, four people practically sprinted inside.

Damn it…

Bai Daiyu was the first—surprisingly—to rush forward. Hugging Shen Yuan tightly as she checked him over. Shen Yuan had since grown bigger than her, taller and broader, so she couldn’t push him around as easily as she could when he was little, but Shen Yuan still went easily with her movement, giving her the guise that she was as capable.

Ci Liang was at her side immediately, nodding at Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge politely as she put her hand on Bai Daiyu’s shoulder, soothing her with a gentle touch and reassuring presence. “A-Yuan, tell me how you feel. Are you alright? What attacked you!?” Bai Daiyu’s questions were expected, but Shen Yuan wasn’t given the chance to answer as his brothers took hold of the situation.

Shen Qingqiu immediately grasped his jaw, turning it from left to right as he looked at his eyes, examining every piece of his form he could see. Yue Qingyuan—thankfully, a bit tamer, merely pressed a hand to Shen Yuan’s neck, searching for any impurities or damages in his meridians, sighing in relief when he couldn’t sense any.

“Gege!” Shen Yuan shouted, muffled. Swatting at Shen Qingqiu’s hand so he could talk. Letting Bai Daiyu continue to hug him to reassure her. “I’m fine, Mu-shixiong said that I will be alright, the poison is harmless, my qi has already settled it, and…we aren’t exactly sure what attacked me.”

Shen Qingqiu hummed in response, eyeing Yue Qingyuan: who merely nodded in return with a gentle smile. The Qing Jing Peak Head Disciple made a sharp noise, sitting beside Shen Yuan as he said, “Very well, is Didi sure he is alright? Does he feel any pain?”

“Aside from getting stabbed in the chest by what felt like thick needles,” He hazardously tugged at the lapels of his robes, revealing the bandages and his mark all at the same time with a lazy grin. “This one feels just fine!” Actually, he felt better than he could last remember. There was a lack of weight in his limbs, and even breathing felt easier than it had been.

The saying: one can’t see their own suffering until it is gone, was all too true!

Shen Qingqiu didn’t appreciate the quip, flicking Shen Yuan’s ear sharply while the younger hissed from the strike. Yue Qingyuan took Shen Qingqiu’s hand, holding it gently, and squeezing reassuringly. He smiled at his brother, patting him on the shoulder as he said, “These Geges are happy that A-Yuan is alright.”

“Xiao-Shidi,” Ci Liang cut in, gently leading Bai Daiyu to stand at her side instead of kneeling in front of Shen Yuan. “Can you describe what attacked you in any detail?”

Yes, actually. I can tell you exactly what she looked like, what she wore, everything. Apparently, I’ve known her for a lot longer than once expected! Shen Yuan thought bitterly. He knew he couldn’t say it all, but he almost wished he could reveal himself just for this matter.

That woman, whoever she was, he knew her. Not in the sense of past bygones or enemies from his past life that he affiliated over the fever-dream that had been his past life, but truly, and genuinely knew her. To such a degree that even thinking about what happened…he couldn’t even feel mad.

“She had a cold voice, raspy as if she was trying to speak after inhaling smoke. Her touch felt like ice, and she had long and rather thick claws, that’s what she used to stab me.” He opened his lapel further, uncaring of the indecency it might be to do so. It was just his Da-Shijie, his Geges, and his Jiejie! What was there that they likely hadn’t already seen?

Ci Liang hummed as he leaned down to inspect the wounds. They were clearly purposeful. Each one was placed in a specific place and vein, almost like…a spell. She pulled away slowly, glaring at the sight of it. It was something she’d never seen in person before, and something she couldn’t be entirely sure of either.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge, both staring intently where Shen Yuan showed the wounds. Her brow twitched and she growled, “You two,” pointing at them, Luo Binghe rather ignored her, looking away with an indifferent huff that only served to piss her off. However, Liu Qingge actually met her gaze, nodding at her. “You two were there, weren’t you? What did the thing look like?”

“A ghost, almost…” Liu Qingge said, not entirely sure himself. “We only saw it for a moment, it vanished almost immediately when we arrived. It looked to be made out of black mist, yet it still had a human-like demeanor, but it clearly wasn’t of any mortal decent. Not even Cheng Luan could pierce it.”

Ci Liang hummed softly, looking between both Bai Zhan disciples for a moment before asking, “Why were you both in the caves? How did you know to find Shen Yuan?”

Good question, Da-Shijie! I want to know too! Shen Yuan thought. Leaning forward slightly with interest. However, he could hear Shen Qingqiu huff softly, already sensing the glare his brother sported. They’d have to talk about his Er-ge’s demeanor, if he had to hold his disdain for both Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge, he could at least try to do it more discreetly.

Luo Binghe spoke up at this, smirking slightly, reveling in the annoyed countenance of Ci Liang when he spoke. “Liu Qingge brought me to the caves because I recently obtained Zheng Yang, Ci-shimei.” Ah, what a fun reaction, seeing Ci Liang’s nose curl in disgust at having Luo Binghe call her ‘Shimei.’ “We decided to stay together for training purposes and then we…”

Ah.

Oh, he didn’t want to say it.

He didn’t realize how sickening it would be to explain. Of course, he knew that he’d have to give some explanation as to why they found Shen Yuan and not someone else, but only now, in that moment; did he realize just how nauseating it was to think about.

The noises had been positively inhuman.

When they had entered the maze of caverns, they had only heard it faintly, and even for a moment believed that some howling beast had someone wondered into the Lingxi Caves. Only to be overwhelmed by the spiritual energy and promptly losing its mind. They had followed the sound with the intent to kill it and put an end to the misery of the miserable creature.

That is until the overwhelming and nauseating scent of putrid mint and sour vanilla practically permeated the cave walls. They both had staggered, a moment longer than they should have; before those sounds finally became recognizable. Screams, inhuman, and agonized. It had been second nature that they rushed in so quickly, whether it be the natural instincts of their very souls' creation or the instincts instilled by Bai Zhan Peak’s grueling training.

When they entered, there was a dull scent of mold. Muggy and old. The scent of putrid mint and sour vanilla overwhelmed it, however, but it did little to deter them from the telltale scent of iron. Blood and iron. There had been a brief moment of silence. When those screams of agony died out, and that phantom stared at them.

Silent. Pitch-black voids devoid of any human emotion, and yet, beneath the veil of shadows that covered her face, there was a crinkle to her eyes. She was smiling. The damned beast had the gall to smile. With Shen Yuan’s blood dripping from her claws.

Liu Qingge lunged first, and then he after. Only the head disciple had drawn his blade, shouting as he aimed for the heart of that creature, only for her to vanish in a heady mist of smoke and shadows with every blow nearly met. Luo Binghe immediately went to Shen Yuan.

He’d been on his hands and knees, hardly able to breathe. There was a fierce determination in his eyes, angry, betrayed, anguished. The glow of his chest was slowly dimming, his spiritual core pushing every amount of spiritual energy it had into deflecting whatever poison the monster had stabbed into his chest.

Only, it was a poison that Luo Binghe now recognized, but once never even knew what it was.

The placement was the same, even the way rot and what could only be described as spilled ink began to seep into pale skin, spreading slowly and terrifyingly as it began its descent to Shen Yuan’s heart. A chill had fallen over him, and without thinking, he damn near dug his own nail—turned claws, into Shen Yuan’s chest to take the poison into himself, his heavenly blood dissolving it immediately.

He only felt it for a moment, but even in those brief seconds, he could only blankly wonder how Shen Yuan’s heart hadn’t convulsed itself into a seizure from the intense pain it had caused.

It was a strange thing, to hear and see Shen Yuan bounce back from such an injury so quickly, even having the will to laugh and joke about it. A part of him was relieved to see that perhaps, even if only for a moment, this occurrence hadn’t caused any significant degrees of trauma. The other part of himself, the darker, and vengeful part of himself, could only wonder how Shen Tianyan—Shen Yuan, had reacted in their past life.

Who had been there then? Truly, there wasn’t any way that Shen Yuan could have survived that. Not back then, not on his own, and not at the age he was at the moment. And if no one had come for him, what happened of it? Did that phantom leave him be? Satisfied with her work enough that she left him there to rot in the prison she entrapped his very soul within?

Not enough answers, and too many questions. All it did was serve to make him angry. So, he stopped asking when he knew he would have no answers. He was fine with not knowing. With never learning of the truth. As long as he never had to hear Shen Yuan scream like that again.

He took a deep breath, preparing himself to finish his statement. “We heard…Yuan-shidi screaming. We saw the phantom. She truly was made of nothing but mist and shadows in the form of a human; a woman. She didn’t say a word to us, but we could not touch her even once before she vanished. When we were sure he could handle it, we took him back to Qian Cao.”

Ci Liang watched his expression. Predatory eyes like that of a wolf, a deep amber like the fresh honey from the hive, bore into his very soul. He didn’t look away, a challenge and a threat all in the same moment as he held his stance, letting the woman dig into whatever trenches she could of the starry night sky her sights were locked onto.

When satisfied, she smirked. Knowingly and without a bit of annoyance on her face. She leaned back, saying, “Very well…Then this one and Ling Shou thank Luo-shixiong and Liu-shixiong for their interference.”

Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe both shared a glance of confusion. What was this Ci Liang being welcoming to them!? Didn’t that woman normally glare at them?! Wasn’t she on Shen Qingqiu’s side!?

Before questions could be asked and answered. Mu Qingfang returned, a few cups and a vial on a tray he carried. He nodded to Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu respectively, smiling at Ci Liang and Bai Daiyu before nodding to Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge. “Ci-shimei, this one brought the vail that you asked for.” He set down the tray, grabbing the vial that held the putrid black liquid before handing it over to her. “However, this one must say; no matter the tests run on it, nor any talismans, it didn’t react to any of them, and the poison has seemed to have no effects on Shen-shidi.”

Ah, so this was the damning liquid then?

Shen Qingqiu stood first, coming to Ci Liang’s side as he inspected the vial himself. The two glared at it scrutinizingly, one holding it as the other pressed a qi-enhanced hand against the structuralized glass. When there was no reaction, both nodded slowly.

“Truly no reaction,” Shen Qingqiu hummed. “Then what could its purpose be? If it has no reaction to qi or otherwise, then how is it even a poison?”

Shen Yuan coughed shortly, not exactly on purpose, but he hadn’t wanted to laugh at his brother’s question. Instead, he earned his Er-ge’s intense gaze, and Shen Qingqiu inquired. “Didi, did you notice that this poison did anything to you?” Shen Qingqiu took the vial, Ci Liang grunting softly as the Qing Jing Peak Head Disciple brought it closer, allowing Shen Yuan to feel for it himself.

However, the moment even Shen Yuan’s finger grazed the glass. There was an immediate reaction. The liquid, the color of tar, immediately turned white. Pure and untainted like fresh milk. Shen Qingqiu pulled it away immediately, hissing as Yue Qingyuan rushed forward and checked Shen Yuan’s hand.

Where his finger had barely even grazed the glass, there was now a black spine along his finger, like the rotting of a tree.

Shen Yuan sucked in a sharp breath at the reaction he had to the poison, and Shen Qingqiu damn near broke the vial as he slammed it back down onto the tray, watching with a worried gaze as Yue Qingyuan soothed Shen Yuan softly. Humming comfortingly, he felt about Shen Yuan’s meridians, finding no immediate problems, not even where his finger had been grazed. However, the more qi he fed into it, the more the rotting spine of damaged skin receded until it morphed into nothing more than a little black dot.

It appeared to be nothing more than a mole.

“It only reacts to him…?” Mu Qingfang murmured, grabbing the vial and running his own finger along it, earning not even a fraction of the reaction Shen Yuan had. The liquid long since had receded to a tar-like color.

Shen Qingqiu heard the curious tones in his voice, and immediately whirled around to glare at the apprentice doctor. “Mu Qingfang, don’t even think about it.”

Mu Qingfang huffed at the accusation, placing the vial back down as he said. “I am a doctor, Shixiong. I would never purposefully put any of my patients in any kind of danger. This one is merely curious as to why the poison reacts to Shen-shidi in such a way.”

Liu Qingge stepped forward, hovering over Shen Yuan’s shoulder from the other side of the bed, staring at his finger where a small black beauty mark now resided on his knuckle. “Is Yuan hurt? Does it hurt?”

Shen Yuan sighed softly. The reaction had startled him, and he could feel it when the inkling scar of rot had seeped into his finger, even through the qi-enhanced vial. But it had only startled him, not exactly hurting as it had before, more like a pinprick from a thin needle. “This one is fine, Liu-shixiong.”

Luo Binghe, however, had traversed the room, grabbing the vial from the tray as he glared at it. He had the irresistible urge to crush the vial in his hands, soaking the poison into his own skin and letting his blood parasites dissolve it as he had done before. If this was all that there was left of it, the rest already having been destroyed by him earlier, then destroying what remained now would be safest for Shen Yuan.

It would never hurt him again. And that damned phantom, that monster, he’d hunt her down once he got the chance. Everything that lived could be killed, and he was determined to make her life all that much shorter.

However, as he was caught up in his plotting, Ci Liang plucked the vial from his hands. Earning his ire, he snarled at her, but the older woman only looked away from him. Staring intently at the vial as Bai Daiyu stepped closer. Eyes filled with worry as she didn’t dare to touch the vial, but Ci Liang still wrapped an arm around her shoulders, soothing her with a gentle caress of her shoulder.

Ci Liang’s intense gaze didn’t falter, not until she looked up once, then twice, and then thrice. Looking between Shen Yuan, Yue Qingyuan, and Shen Qingqiu for a long moment before setting the vial back down on the tray, ordering, “Destroy it. No matter what you have to do. Never let it see the light of day again.”

Mu Qingfang nodded to her, taking the tray outside, and leaving it away from the entrance so he could discard it properly later. However, once he returned inside, he found Ci Liang corralling Shen Qingqiu and Yue Qingyuan into their own seats next to Shen Yuan’s bed. Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge already had been pushed back to their side of the room next to the wall. Of course, she gently led Bai Daiyu to her seat, holding her hand before striding forward to check on Shen Yuan herself.

“This Shijie understands what has happened now, Yuan-shidi.” She said assuredly. Shen Qingqiu and Yue Qingyuan both gave her an expecting look, and she didn’t even have to turn around to see the similar expressions on the others' faces. Focused solely on the surprised but hopeful countenance of her Xiao-Shidi. “However, this one believes that the truth will be rather heavy and uncomfortable. Does Shidi wish to hear it now, or later?”

“I’d like to hear it now, Da-Shijie.” He’d already waited two lives! He wanted to know what the fuck was going on!

Ci Liang nodded, turning her gaze to Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu specifically as she asked them forthrightly. “Shen-shixiong, Yue-shixiong, how did you two and Yuan-shidi come to be with each other? Who is he biologically related to?”

Damn, Da-Shijie! What a question! Shen Yuan winced slightly.

Even in his first life, he’d never known of his true origins between his brothers. Silently, he’d always assumed that he was biologically related to Shen Qingqiu, but whenever he would brush his hair, and in the past see the raven locks that perfectly resembled his Da-ge, along with the light shade of his eyes that matched his Da-ge’s gentle greyish blue color with a hint of green that turned his gaze into warm jade, he couldn’t help but wonder if he was instead biologically related to Yue Qingyuan.

Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu looked at each other. It wasn’t a frequent question, but it was one they had received more than once. However, in a moment like this, they said nothing but the truth. “We found him, one morning when we lived on the streets.” Yue Qingyuan answered honestly, watching his Didi’s reactions just in case. “We assumed that he had been left in front of us as a newborn by his biological parents because they knew we were slave children, but biologically he’s not related to either of us.”

Not related!? What bullshit! Shen Yuan looked like a perfect mixture of both of them!

Ci Liang hummed understandingly, asking softly, “And were there any plants that Yue-shixiong and Shen-shixiong had been around at the time? Perhaps one where their blood might have spilled?”

Yue Qingyuan raised a brow at her question, but Shen Qingqiu answered rather quickly. “We had slept near a meadow that night. We’d gotten into a fight, and I remember that there had even been stains on the grass from the blood.”

Ci Liang nodded understandingly, stepping over to Shen Yuan and holding out her hand. “Yuan-shidi, may I have your hand?” When Shen Yuan handed over his hand, Ci Liang squeezed his hand reassuringly as she said, “Watch closely.” With that, a light shone from her palm, and the meridians within Shen Yuan’s hand became apparent until that appearance spread up his arm, through his body until every spiritual vein was visible with a sheen of light.

However, these veins were not normal. They did not branch the same as a human’s or even a demon’s. They resembled vines, even small parts branching out in small nubs like leaves. Finally, where his heart rested, covered by that vibrant soulmark, his heart shone with that same light. But it was not the heart of a human or a demon, but instead with branches that of a flower.

A peach blossom, a flower known as the symbol of life.

The glow died out slowly, letting those see for only a moment longer as even Shen Yuan shuddered at the strange feeling. Ci Liang patted his head gently, turning to face Shen Qingqiu and Yue Qingyuan; both wide-eyed and mouths agape in shock at the sight as she said, “Shen Yuan is not entirely mortal. He was born from the Thousand Petal Peach Blossom.”

Within an instant, Shen Qingqiu surged forward, taking Shen Yuan by the hand as he looked him over before looking at Ci Liang. “What…What are you saying!?”

Shen Yuan pressed his own finger to his left wrist, feeling about his meridians as he hummed softly. He always knew his meridians were a bit different than his peak siblings, but he had always chalked it up to differences in cultivation practices! Now he was being told he wasn’t even entirely human!? Airplane! What the fuck kind of character did you make just to kill off!?

Ci Liang watched Shen Yuan’s expression, upon seeing a shocked but otherwise calm demeanor, she continued. “The Thousand Petal Peach Blossom is a highly spiritual plant body. Entirely rare, it shows up only once every thousand years and chooses exactly to whom it will reveal itself.” Yue Qingyuan still sat in his seat, hunched over slightly as he listened, seemingly too shocked to even stand. “This one has always suspected that Yuan-shidi wasn’t entirely human, seeing as his meridians varied from even some of the wildest I have seen on Ling Shou. However, it was only just now that I was certain.”

Mu Qingfang stepped in at that, patting Shen Qingqiu’s shoulder reassuringly as he asked. “Shimei, could you explain please? Not even this one or Shizun could have identified that.”

“The Thousand Petal Peach Blossom is said to be somewhat sentient. It will search out the ones it deems worthy and as long as it can absorb some kind of human DNA, even with the weakest spiritual energy, it will form itself into a living and almost entirely mortal human. Practically undetectable as a plant body if not actively searching for the proof.”

“So…I’m a plant?” Shen Yuan questioned softly. Screw finding better words to lighten the blow! He was a plan now right?! Holy shit! Well, at least now he could say he had enough personal experience to believe that his plan with Tianlang-Jun would work out!

Ci Liang chuckled at his bluntness, patting his shoulder as she said. “Not entirely, the Thousand Petal Peach Blossom takes on the form that best suites whatever DNA it can absorb, it becomes entirely human, only not entirely mortal. As Shen Yuan, born from the blossom, was likewise born with the spiritual core and the heart of the blossom.”

“Shimei,” Yue Qingyuan’s voice sounded rough; as if he had been constricting his throat for too long, and Ci Liang eyed him understandingly as he asked. “What else are you saying exactly?”

“This one is likewise saying that, in terms of biological relations, Shen Yuan is technically related to both of you in the same way a child is related to their parents.”

To say silent chaos fell, would be an understatement. Mu Qingfang appeared as if he was ready to run every test possible to understand everything that CI Liang spoke of, and Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe both looked as if they were either about to pass out from shock, or their eyes would bulge out of their head. Bai Daiyu, however, only smiled. As if she knew the entire time!

A startled sound came from Shen Qingqiu’s throat, eyes wide as he looked between Yue Qingyuan and Shen Yuan in tandem. However, Yue Qingyuan on the other hand could only sigh weakly before laughing breathlessly. “Shimei, what a thing to reveal so casually.” He shook his head fondly, rising from his seat as he took to Shen Qingqiu’s side and smiled. “Very well then. Xiao-Jiu, it seems we already have a child of our own.”

Shen Yuan, on the other hand, was positively losing his mind. Wait, wait, wait! So I’m my brothers' kid!? How the fuck!? Airplane! What the actual hell!?

“Didi?” Shen Qingqiu murmured, gently rubbing his knuckle under Shen Yuan’s eye as he always did when the younger got too worked up. But now, Shen Yuan could practically sense the importance that touch now had. Huh, so he had parents now? That’s an interesting turnaround. “What are you feeling?”

He was feeling a lot of things at the moment, thank you very much! But he also had a lot of questions himself! “Am I supposed to call you A-Die and Baba now?”

Okay, maybe there were more important questions to ask, but that one felt the easiest to say at the moment.

Yue Qingyuan laughed breathlessly, and Shen Qingqiu scoffed softly, patting Shen Yuan’s cheek with a smirk. “Very well then, it’s only right you show your respect for your parents.”

Shen Yuan scoffed and giggled at his brother’s jest. He knew that he likely wasn’t being serious, at least not completely, but he also wanted to…just know how his brother—parents…his parents. He…He wanted to know how they’d react.

Honestly, they both had raised him on their own anyway, aside from Bai Daiyu…But she was his Jiejie. So, hadn’t they already assumed their role long ago? They truly were his parents in everything aside from the title, at least at the moment.

“However…” Ci Liang cut in, the tone of voice raising Shen Qingqiu’s hackles as he turned to look at her, ignoring the others in the room. He and Ci Liang had grown to stand on mutual ground, allies at best, he wasn’t one to want friends per se. But he could appreciate the care she had for his Didi—his son. “There is something else, this one has come to realize as of the moment, at least in regards to what that monster was.”

The stupor of shocked silence broke around them, and both Bai Zhan disciples and Bai Daiyu were coming closer. Bai Daiyu took Ci Liang’s hand, a worried countenance to her features, but Ci Liang tried to reassure her regardless. “Ci-shimei,” Liu Qingge urged, fists clenched and arms crossed over his chest. He was never much of a patient man, and waiting to hear whatever that…thing was…it wasn’t something he could stand for much longer.

“A Heart-Vengence Phantom.” She said certainly. Watching Shen Yuan’s expression carefully as she continued. “Creatures born of a vengeful death. Normally, they are people who died with an unconsolable amount of rage or grief, and as such, conducted enough resentful energy to turn themselves into a Heart-Vengence Phantom when they died.”

Luo Binghe couldn’t help but scoff at that. A Heart-Vengence Phantom? Those things only ever went after those who had wronged them in life so terribly that their souls couldn’t even find peace in death. How could Shen Yuan wrong someone so terribly? Especially now? He hardly even had the power to fly on his sword! Let alone wrong someone so terribly that they’d come after him in this manner!

“Is Ci-shimei sure of her hypothesis?” Luo Binghe questioned. Eyeing the woman conductively as he straightened his posture. He was already taller than most in the room, save for Yue Qingyuan and only roughly Liu Qingge. The bastard had shot up like a weed again, but he found that in situations such as this, even the barest addition of height was enough to make even the most confident of speakers fumble. “Those monsters…only go after those who have committed terrible sins against them. Surely Shimei can’t even begin to assume Yuan-shidi could do something as such?”

Liu Qingge was the first to agree with him. Grunting softly. He said, “It’s rather unbelievable.”

Ci Liang shook her head, raising her hand to silence them both. “This one never said it was Yuan-shidi who committed such sins.” She didn’t even have to hear Yue Qingyuan’s or Shen Qingqiu’s order, the look in both of their eyes was enough to urge her to speak. “While Heart-Vengence Phantoms normally go after those who wronged them in life, if that person is already dead, then they will go after those they love.”

“Why would they do that, Da-Shijie?” Shen Yuan inquired. Go after the ones they loved? Why? Wouldn’t they finally be at peace if they knew that the person who wronged them so terribly was dead? “Wouldn’t they be appeased enough with the fact that their assailant was dead?”

Ci Liang hummed softly in disagreement. “Not exactly, Xiao-Shidi. When A Heart-Vengence Phantom no longer has the target of the perpetrator at hand where they can take their revenge. Their heart…or what is left of it at least in terms of their soul, will lead them to those they love, as a way to protect them.” She cleared her throat softly, this was the part she wasn’t exactly thrilled to explain.

“However, as they are dead, and have already lost half of their soul in the underworld…while they may feel the shadow of love for those they loved in life; in death, there is no humanity left within them, and they cannot understand that their actions are not a show of love, but rather something far darker and far more twisted.”

“Shimei,” Yue Qingyuan cut in, brows furrowing deeply as he murmured. “Surely…Surely Shimei cannot be saying that the…phantom who did this to A-Yuan, did it as a form of love?”

Ci Liang nodded solemnly, sighing as she said. “It’s rather complicated and hard to believe, but now that I understand Shen Yuan’s origins; I have seen just exactly how and where the poison was made to react to him specifically. This one has a better understanding of what the phantom had likely intended.”

“Shimei can tell only from that?” Mu Qingfang inquired, eyes alight with blatant curiosity, no matter how he tried to hide it on his face. “Impressive.”

Ci Liang, however, could not even offer a polite nod with her solemn expression. “Yuan-shidi has an earth-based spiritual core, and his very body, heart, and soul are born from a flower that was said to be a gift from the heavens itself; something entirely holy and likewise untainted. However, when the poison even came into the barest of contact with him, his body reacted as if rotting.” She inhaled steadily, easing her heart. “The poison was designed solely for him, for his spiritual core and his body, hence why it could not affect us. To rot his very being so quickly and with only the simplest of touches, this one is sure that the phantom had intended to destroy his spiritual core.”

Now, that was something to hear.

Shen Qingqiu tensed immediately, growling as he asked. “Ci-shimei, how could such a sin be born as an act of love!? You said so yourself, he was born with his spiritual core, that would kill him!”

“Not precisely.” She interjected, raising her hand once again. “While Shen-shixiong is correct that Yuan-shidi would die without his golden core, the Heart-Vengence Phantol would not understand such a thing.”

“As many are familiar with; when someone dies, parts of their souls split. Something is always lost with each one. When the Heart-Vengence Phantom returns to this world for revenge, it only reruns with half a soul. So, sometimes memories are lost, empathy, skills, and at times even common knowledge. So, while a Heart-Vengence Phantom will always be pulled to those they either despised or loved in life, perhaps some things will be missing. Such as the knowledge that to destroy a cultivator's spiritual core, especially one like Yuan-shidi, is nothing less than a death sentence. They act with the intention of love and even protection to an extent, but lack the empathy or knowledge to proceed carefully.”

“If their only goal is to protect the one they loved. When not just stay in the shadows and protect from a distance?” Liu Qingge inquired. “Ghosts normally know they are dead, surely a phantom would as well; if it was searching for the person who killed it.”

“Protection is not its only motivation, Liu-shixiong.” Ci Liang countered, shaking her head. “Most of the time, its main goal is to bring that person back with them. A Heart-Vengence Demon is forever lonely. Until it is slain it will forever ache for someone they loved dearly in life or for someone to love them in death. However, they don’t understand the premonition of death. So, to bring someone back with them; is not an act of intentional murder, but at times in their perspective; mercy.”

“Mercy?” Luo Binghe scoffed, laughing wryly as he threw his head back. What an idea, that such a thing could be mercy! He knew mercy, for he was the very one who never showed it. That could not be mercy.

Ci Liang, ignored him for the time being, her eyes falling upon Shen Yuan’s conflicted expression as she asked, “Xiao-Shidi, did she say anything to you? Perhaps anything to give us a hint?”

Shen Yuan pursed his lips, the memory of that…woman, at least in his mind, was hazy. It felt like a bad fever dream. “She said…that my heart had always been too…good for this world, and that if I kept it now…I’d be hurt again.” His fingertip ran over the small beauty mark now on the juncture of his finger. She said such things to him, and yet it was her, wasn’t it? It was she that covered his eyes and his heart in that shean of disdainful haze.

“Then that’s what she wanted,” Ci Liang murmured, clearing her throat before saying, “It’s rare to hear of it, but there are other poisons like it. A poison to rot the heart from the inside out, slowly taking away a person’s humanity, their ability to feel anything, and most importantly, their ability to form or have any emotional attachment to anyone that didn’t already have a significant influence on them.”

The room fell quiet once again. But of the group, there were two who truly could feel the glass of their reality shattering behind them. Neither said a word, neither made a sound, but they knew. They knew everything.

“That’s most likely why she wanted to destroy Yuan-shidi’s spiritual core as well. With such a poison like this, the stronger one’s spiritual energy is, the easier it would be to fight it off. But the poison itself would naturally deteriorate it…” She made a quiet and thoughtful sound, looking at Shen Yuan for a long moment as she hesitated to speak the final truth. “However, with Without-a-Cure, a poison that already feeds so heavily on Yuan-shidi’s spiritual energy…this poison likely would have taken full effect within only a year if it had not been taken out of his body.”

A memory with too heavy of a weight for even him to handle suddenly came to mind. The memory of a quiet Shifu, who jumped in front of his disciple, pushing him out of the way. A demon who was slain in only a matter of seconds, and then that very man, walking away holding his side without saying a word.

A year?

Even back then, he only had a year!?

Shifu, how long did you suffer that year? Why would you never tell me? Did someone know? Did they help you? How many nights did you not sleep because of it? Shen Yuan, how many nights did I sit in front of you and watch your expression, and I still never knew!?

Luo Binghe’s hands were shaking, terribly. He clenched his fists, he tucked his hands into his arm where he had them crossed over his chest. But the question he struggled to ask was spoken for him by another.

“And after the year?” Liu Qingge urged, voice hoarse from the strain it took not to yell. He’d been there. He’d watched Shen Tianyan–Shen Yuan walk away after the battle with the demon intruders. That poison…only enhanced it. It only made it worse. What happened then, after that year, what had it been like?! How could he not have seen it?! “What would have happened to him?”

Ci Liang eyed them carefully, but when predatory eyes bore into a greyish blue that reminded her of a foggy sky and black eyes that shined with the very light of stars, she understood what they asked. “After a year, he likely would have grown weaker. If he hadn’t had any treatment, and Without-a-Cure was suppressed regularly. His spiritual energy would start to deplete, he wouldn’t have been able to move around much. Go on missions or even training, and with his physical constitution, harboring two such poisons in a body that was designed to be holy by a flower descended from the heavens…then it would have legitimately begun to rot him. Both in a physical sense and a mental sense.”

There was a moment she hesitated. A heavy guilt weighed in her heart before saying, “It would have caused a slow death, especially if Yuan-shidi attempted to fight it. The rot would begin to make it harder for him to function on his own, he wouldn’t have been able to leave his home much, and there would only be so much that his body could handle to do before it shut down.”

Shen Yuan tried not to flinch at her words. Each description and explanation hit too close to home, speaking far too clearly of a life he had already lived. Only now, he was finally receiving answers for it.

“However, within the sense of his mentality. It would be the first to worsen. Not only would the poison from the Heart-Vengence Phantom slowly make him unable to form relationships or feel anything for that matter aside from disdain, but Without-a-Cure would also speed up that process. It would also likely cause nightmares and an increase in paranoia and irrationality. It would cause anyone truly, to become closed off, isolated, and perhaps at times indifferent to the world around them because their humanity would be slowly fading away from the poisons. Until all that was left was someone who had no care for others or the world around them, and likely not even for themselves, which could cause…an increase in suicidal tendencies or thoughts, and likely even the commitment of such a thing.”

“Don’t say such things.” Shen Qingqiu was the first to interject. Glaring heartfully as he took a shuddering breath. To hear what could have happened, what might have happened if Shen Yuan hadn’t made it back here in time…he couldn't bear to hear it anymore. “Those things will never happen. The poison is removed, and A-Yuan is alright. Do not speak of these things ever again.”

Ci Liang nodded solemnly, putting up no fight with her Shixiong as the older man sighed and grunted softly, turning to Shen Yuan to ask. “A-Yuan, do you know anyone who…could’ve done such a thing? Who would have had a reason?”

Shen Yuan hesitated, there truly wasn’t a single person he could think of. He had so few people in his life that he’d truly cared about enough to want to hang on. The brothel Jiejie had been nice to him and he did care for them, but they were never people he felt a connection to. But this thing had also followed him throughout two lifetimes…and in his first lifetime, there truly had only been a handful of people whom he undeniably loved and who had in turn loved him back.

Bai Daiyu saw his conflicted expression and swept out her sleeve as he took to his side, cupping his face and smoothing the crease in his eyebrow, humming softly, “It’s alright now, if A-Yuan can not think of anything, then we will not worry about it for now, Little Butterfly.”

Little Butterfly….

Oh.

Oh.

Oh no.

No.

No, not her.

Shen Yuan grabbed her hand, running the pads of his fingers along her fingers, up to her nailbeds where she wore two nail guards. Both were decorated with silver, but the same length and same size as her claws.

Shen Yuan felt his heart crack, and then shatter. A person who loved him so much that even after an excruciating death by a man too terrible to name, she still came back for him. She still sought him out and attempted to save his heart from the fate she had suffered. She still loved him and wanted to take him home, where he would have been safe.

What a bittersweet thing.

Jiejie, even if it was you or wasn’t. I won’t be mad, not anymore. You loved me back then more than I ever knew, so now, I’ll repay you.

“No.” Shen Yuan stated confidently. “I don’t have any ideas as to who it could be. But what is the likeness of her coming back? She already believes that I was poisoned, so what is the use in searching for her and wasting time? Even Liu-shixiong said that Cheng Luan couldn’t touch her.”

The group nodded in agreement, all but two. Shen Yuan was correct, there truly was no point in searching her out now. “Yuan-shidi is correct. A Heart-Vengence Phantom does not stick around long, it doesn’t have the power to. Especially not in a place like Cang Qiong Mountain. It normally waits for whoever it has targeted to die on their own, even if their death was primarily the cause of them.”

“Very well,” Yue Qingyuan sighed as he took Shen Yuan’s shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly, smiling down at his…his son. Yes, his A-Yuan was his son. “Ci-shimei, Mu-shidi, can we speak to you outside for a moment? Qingqiu and I would like to inquire what you believe would be best for further treatment from this moment forth.”

Ci Liang and Mu Qingfang nodded, following the Qing Jing Peak disciple and the Qiong Ding disciple out of the room. Leaving, Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge with Shen Yuan, who sighed heavily once they left.

Shen Yuan fell back onto the bed, letting himself lay lax for the moment as he groaned. “What a fucking day…”

Luo Binghe couldn’t help but laugh. It was so strange to see him like this. To see Shen Yuan in a state that he now knew would never be the same. He’d never grow to be Shen Tianyan, he’d never grow into the man whose heart was too broken and scarred to stand in front of anyone, and he would never be the man who suffered in silence as he took blow after blow for those he loved, while he himself slowly lost everything.

However, the mirth of his laughter quickly left the room when Liu Qingge asked. “Yuan, why did you lie just then? About who it could’ve been?”

Shen Yuan didn’t flinch or try to deny what Liu Qingge said. He merely sighed and sat up, stretching his neck as he answered. “It was Bai Daiyu…at least a version of her. Perhaps someone from long ago, maybe another lifetime. But I was sure it was her…they both called me Little Butterfly. Only she ever called me that.”

“And you…didn’t say anything?” Luo Binghe retorted, he couldn’t understand. If it had been Bai Daiyu, even that version of her from their past life, then why not say anything? Why not make sure it would never happen again?

“Because she’s my Jiejie.” Shen Yuan answered honestly. “In the end, all she wanted was to protect me. It wasn’t her fault that she died a terrible death and in turn, wanted to make sure I didn’t suffer the same fate.”

In the end, Yuan-shidi, she still failed. What then? Would you still forgive her then? She made your life so much worse. She took so much from you. Luo Binghe thought bitterly, but reluctantly, he didn’t say a word. He wasn’t surprised, that Shen Yuan was like this. That he could forgive someone so easily because he loved them. In the end…wouldn’t he be a hypocrite if he despised that phantom for the very reason that his past Shifu had forgiven him?

Liu Qingge grunted softly, he as well finding no sense in arguing with Shen Yuan over this. They both knew he wouldn’t listen. However, when their gazes landed on the exposed skin of Shen Yuan’s mark once again, both shared a long look with each other before nodding.

“Yuan-shidi,” Luo Binghe started, far more confident, and far more eager. He took to Shen Yuan’s side easily. “There is something else we need to tell you.”

“What is it?” Shen Yuan murmured, sitting up as he heard Liu Qingge stand in front of him. Stiff and tense. “If it’s news that I’m damned and likely to die, then you can just say it. It wouldn’t surprise me at this point.”

“No!” Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge shouted in unison. Only for a moment pausing to eye each other weirdly.

“No…No, Yuan-shidi it’s not that.” Luo Binghe huffed, laughing wryly at Shen Yuan’s assumption. Why did his Shidi’s mind immediately always go to the worst possible outcome?

“Then it can’t be as bad as you two are acting.” Shen Yuan teased, poking Luo Binghe’s arm jokingly. “Stop acting so startled and tense. It doesn’t suit either of you, just tell me what’s going on.”

Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge eyed each other, a silent conversation between them before Liu Qingge nodded and nudged his head in Shen Yuan’s direction. “Yuan-shidi, when we were in the caves, and now after you’ve been treated…Qingge and I have noticed something about you, in regards to us.” Luo Binghe started softly, watching to see if Shen Yuan would catch onto what he was saying on his own. But Shen Yuan only raised a brow at Luo Binghe’s careful tone, and the half-breed continued. “The mark on your chest, Yuan-shidi. It matches both Liu Qingge and I’s. You’re our soulmate.”

However, when Shen Yuan didn’t startle or react extremely as they had expected. Both Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe exchanged an expression of confusion and mild alarm. That is until Shen Yuan said. “I figured as much.”

What!?

“You…You what!?” Liu Qingge shouted, he and Luo Binghe staring at Shen Yuan with muddled bewilderment.

Shen Yuan only nodded slightly, clearing his throat awkwardly. “Our energies…” This was a total bullshit answer and he knew it. But he was not about to explain how he’d known they were soulmates since his past life, so this was all he had! “They matched each other…I only realized just recently…and I just figured as much. But I didn’t know to bring it up.”

Luo Binghe laughed bitterly, shaking his head as he looked between Liu Qingge and Shen Yuan slowly. “So, Qingge, can we talk about it now?”

Liu Qingge huffed irritably but otherwise agreed. “Fine, we can talk about it.”

Chapter Text

This was awkward.

This was so, so very awkward.

Two lifetimes he's waited to finally speak about this with both of his soulmates, and none of them could get a damn word out!

Perhaps they all were waiting for someone to start, or perhaps none of them could find the right words to say, but they were just...sitting there. Silent, and fucking awkward!

Emperor of the Demon Realm, Lord Luo Binghe, Junshang of all three realms, and I can't even find the right words now!? He was furious! What was this!? He had united all three realms, both through force and persuasion; he had talked himself into his position of Emperor when he had won every battle. He was damn nearing his mid-thirties at least in mental age, and he couldn't even start this incredibly necessary and imperative conversation!?

Gazing flickering over to Liu Qingge, the head disciple seemed just as lost, if not entirely indifferent! A stony and cold expression on his face, as if this meant nothing! Yes, he knew that this Shixiong of his had a terrible habit of hiding behind a grumpy expression, but at the moment, that little quirk was not appreciated!

He tried his best to think of how he talked his way into his wives' arms, earning their loyalty and desire through words—and actions—but upon thinking more of it, every tactic he had used back then would likely earn him either a bloody duel from Liu Qingge or a complete shutdown from Shen Yuan.

I don't remember these things being this hard...

Liu Qingge, on the other hand, was incredibly confused. Hadn't Luo Binghe wanted to talk about these things? He'd been nagging him for a few months now about it. Why had he gone quiet all of a sudden? However, whenever he looked over at Shen Yuan, there was a similar expression of confusion and uneasiness. Truly, none of them had thought this through.

What does one even speak about in these situations? We know we are all soulmates. What more is there to it? He inquired to himself. He'd heard a few of his Shidi and Shimei gossiping once or twice about these things; normally, their talk was rather depraved and always left Liu Qingge rather irritable that they would have the gall to speak of such things outside of a secluded area. But at the moment, it was all he could remember for some clue as to where to start.

Always one to get straight to the point, he inquired, "We know we are soulmates, where from here do we wish to start?" Unfortunately, now they were even more confused.

"Start? Start what?" Shen Yuan asked, raising a brow at Liu Qingge's rather rough question.

Luo Binghe glanced at him, huffing as he said, "Is Qingge propositioning a relationship of sorts?" He couldn't help but smirk. This was rather unexpected. "This one is rather surprised at his boldness."

Liu Qingge flustered at Luo Binghe's teasing, snarling as he bit out. "Luo Binghe! Don't be depraved!"

"Me? Depraved?" Luo Binghe gasped with fake hurt, going as far as to pretend to fall from a blow onto the bed next to Shen Yuan. Whining and feigning hurt. "Shixiong! How cruel of you! This Shidi was merely trying to understand your proposition! Yuan-shidi! I'm being bullied!"

"Shameless brat!" Liu Qingge growled, tackling Luo Binghe on the bed as the two grabbed at each other, snarling, and smacking each other. "Shut your mouth before I bruise it shut!"

"I'll hang you by your ankles!"

"Do you want me to break your legs?!"

Shen Yuan jumped out of the way of their wrestling, moving to the end of the bed as he laughed at their shouting. They truly fought like children. Silly and with no tried-and-true malice behind it. Finding an opening, he reached into their conjoined mess of limbs and pulled on both of them until one was grabbed by the ankle and the other by the wrist, holding both of them far enough apart the same way one would hold apart a fighting cat and dog.

"You both fight like cats and dogs." Shen Yuan chuckled, pulling a little bit more until he was sure Luo Binghe was on his right by his ankle and Liu Qingge was on his left by his wrist. "Wasn't Liu-shixiong asking something?"

Liu Qingge grunted as he sat up, straightening himself up slightly before saying, "This one was merely asking...now that we are all well aware that we are soulmates, where do we wish to go from here?"

That was a very good question. But it was one Shen Yuan didn't have an answer for, okay?! He never thought he'd get this far! He was fine with keeping their soulmate status in the deepest trenches of his heart for the rest of their lives! Never once bringing it up or asking about it! Living out their lives together and yet separately, each one allowed to go down their own path!

Besides, isn't Luo Binghe supposed to be the protagonist harem master too?! No offense, but I will not be a part of a harem! Hell no! Also, I swore Liu Qingge didn't like romantic or physical relationships! I remember he once fought a girl who confessed to him! Nah ah! I'll die for sure! I still can't match either of them in a fight yet!

Shen Yuan fiddled with his thumbs nervously. He didn't understand this sort of thing. His first life...if one could even call it that. It was nothing but hazy and blurred memories of a bleak and sterile hospital. With a few visits from faceless and nameless people, he knew to be his family from that world, so it was easy to assume he had no experience there. And then, of course, his past life...if Shang Qinghua counted—which he was silently hoping he didn't—then the most he could say they ever did together was share the same bed or lean against each other when they fell asleep doing paperwork! There wasn't a damn thing physical or romantic about their relationship! Purely platonic!

Not to mention, there came the question of whether or not he actually loved...or even liked Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe. Yes, he cared for them on an incredibly deep level, one of which few were on in his heart, but was that love? He knew it to be devotion of some kind, a devotion to their well-being and livelihood, but could that be called love?

Of course, he knew they were attractive and found both of them more than worthy to be labeled as such, but that was just physical appearance! Something that meant quite literally nothing to him now. Likewise, appreciation of another person's looks didn't mean you necessarily liked them, let alone loved them! It just meant you weren't...ahem, blind.

So, he didn't know. He didn't know how this worked; he wasn't even entirely sure if he even loved them. "I...I don't know." He couldn't help but laugh at himself. Two lifetimes had gone by, two lifetimes to figure it all out, and he was still rather clueless. Screw it, if he was poisoned for seventy-five percent of his past life, surely if he wanted to, he could've thought more about this! "H-How...How does one even go about this? Or...tell if they love someone enough to do such things?"

The question was entirely genuine, something he knew he shouldn't have hesitated so long to answer. But the longer Luo Binghe stared and thought about it, the more he began to realize, he wasn't entirely sure either.

There was very little doubt in his mind now, now that he'd experienced life a second time and was given the opportunity to see it through a broader and brighter light, never once had he nor any of his wives loved each other. Yes, perhaps there was a physical desire, but aside from the carnal urges and desire, there was no connection.

No early mornings greeting each other warmly and sitting down for a meal together.

No friendly sparring sessions only ending with both talking and bickering for hours, perhaps over important things, perhaps over nothing at all.

No late nights where one would wait for the other, accompanied by the setting sun. Gentle mint and sweet fruit wafting through the spring breeze as that person waited to see for themselves that the other was alright.

No quiet moments of understanding, an innate assuredness around each other that not even deafening silence could crack through.

There had been no quirks or moments of pure bemusement as Luo Binghe contemplated whether or not he adored or hated the trait they exhibited. Yes, there had been desire, carnal, and hunger, but it was nothing more than a bottomless pit. Something to be filled but never sated, something to be fed constantly but never satisfied. Empty and crushing, it was something that could never be cured by the life he'd lived before.

Even now, at this moment, he couldn't help but wonder if he was doomed by fate itself to live that life again. No matter what had changed, no matter the precautions he took, it was almost akin to fear, and yet too harrowing to be terror. It was empty, it was a looming presence clinging to his shoulders, threatening to cloud his gaze and rip the heart from his chest.

How could he answer this question when he himself couldn't even confidently say that he had ever loved before? Had he ever once truly loved before?

His adopted mother, the fragments of memories of parents he never knew but seemed to have once been present in this life, old allies, and enemies that he had slain all in the same breath to save himself. A Shifu who stood in a meadow of willow flowers and bamboo, haunting and ethereal, and yet so heart-wrenching that one could never dare to reach out. Had he ever once loved any of them?

Was he truly what that Shizun of his had said before? A beast, a beast cast from the heavens, damned, and tainted, without even the barest remains of humanity within the endless abyss of his soul? Could a beast even know love?

As if knowing, as if blessed by an innate sense of understanding, Shen Yuan reached out and took his hand. "Though, it doesn't matter much, does it? We have a lot of time to figure it out whenever we like. There's no need to worry about something like this." For the first time, despite how many times he'd seen it before, Luo Binghe couldn't help but freeze at the smile Shen Yuan gave him. Simple and so easily given, the barest split of the lips, and yet...it was the same as the hazy and yet so vibrant memory of the first and only time he'd seen the barest hint of his Shifu's smile.

It was the same. They truly were the same. Tianyan and Yuan. He'd been separating them for so long now as if they were two different people, his lost soulmate, and the young man he'd never known. Trying to make sense of a world that he knew and yet was still coming to terms with. They were the same. Tianyan, Yuan. His Shifu and his Shidi. His longest and most painful conquest and his welcoming and gentlest friend. There truly had never been a difference between them.

His soulmate, and next to him, the third piece of their complex and stained puzzle. The greatest thorn in his side that he'd ever known, his fiercest ally on the battlefield, his stubborn Shixiong. The man he dreamed of beating, the foe who never quit, and the ally who never turned his back on him.

He couldn't help but chuckle; bittersweet, feeling his very breath slow in his chest, too much time had been wasted. So many years lost for nothing. Distant memories that both belonged to a stranger and him came to mind, then the images of his past, one he knew too well.

Could things have been like this before? Even now, back then, what caused it all to spiral down so terribly? Had fate truly desired them all to suffer so? What could have been done differently?

Clouded and warm jade and the freezing midnight of the sea.

He could have known them; they could have known him.

"Yuan-shidi is right," He'd do it differently this time. "There is no need to worry about these things, at least not until we understand them clearly."

Liu Qingge grunted affirmatively, never one to say it, but his heart settled when it was Shen Yuan to reassure. Something like this had seemed so simple to him before, whenever he heard those daring Shidi and Shimei of his speak of it all so carelessly. But now that it was his turn, now that fate hadn't blinded him once again from the truth, he realized their filtering gossip wasn't all for not.

It was truly as nerve-wracking as they had said. Terrifying and thrilling, to imagine someone willful and confident enough to understand another person without even an exchange of words. Someone very well destined by fate and the heavens to know another person as their missing link, the missing part of their soul.

Well, Liu Qingge had two missing parts, it seemed, did that mean he won whatever competition those gabbling chickens talked about with each other when it came to these sorts of things?

"Yuan is correct, there is no need to rush into answers unnecessarily." It damn well didn't mean he didn't want his answers. No, no! He wanted them! But a good opponent and partner knew when it was best to step aside from the battlefield and train themselves before the true fight. "We will wait for now and return to the subject later once we are sure."

However, Luo Binghe couldn't help but snicker at him, and Liu Qingge immediately glared at the audacious young man separated from him by a single—and understandably light—body. "Is Liu-shixiong strategizing?" He was going to beat him. Mark his words, he'd beat him black and blue! "This Shidi didn't realize that Qingge was so determined that Yuan-shidi and I were opponents preparing for battle. Should this one go help Yuan-shidi with his sword, just in case?"

Shen Yuan swatted at both of them individually, snickering as he said, "Liu-shixiong is just emotionally constipated, and Luo-shixiong is too much of an instigator. This one isn't surprised Liu-shixiong has learned to strategize so often, Luo-shixiong terrorizes him so much, it must be second nature."

Liu Qingge made a startled sound of discontent, but Luo Binghe unashamedly whined at Shen Yuan's statement. "Yuan-shidi! This one is innocent! It's not my fault Qingge chooses to act like a bee humming over my shoulder!"

"You act carelessly! You nearly broke your seal again because someone spoke to you during training!"

Liu Qingge! How could you!? Don't throw me under like that! Luo Binghe glared at him, but quickly dodged Shen Yuan's hand that aimed for his head, swatting at him.

"Luo-shixiong did what!? What were you thinking!?"

"Qingge!" Luo Binghe growled, fuming when Liu Qingge smirked slightly. That smug bastard! "Yuan-shidi! It wasn't my fault! He deserved it—! Ow!" This time, Shen Yuan landed his hit, swatting Luo Binghe's forehead.

"Luo-shixiong shouldn't let someone get to him so easily! What does it matter what another person says? Just learn to ignore them! In the end, you'll only make them angrier by being the bigger person, and they won't be able to justify their actions."

Luo Binghe glared for a moment longer before deflating and grumbling softly. How was it his fault, huh? That stupid martial brother of his! He didn't even bother to remember his name, but he'd been talking too highly of himself. He'd even had the gall to insinuate he could best Liu Qingge in a fight! Ha! How was Luo Binghe in the wrong for knocking him down a few pegs?

"It wasn't like this one killed him, Yuan-shidi." Luo Binghe grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest while Shen Yuan hummed softly and shook his head.

"That's not the point, Luo-shixiong." He gently thumbed the spot he swatted on Luo Binghe's forehead. "Luo-shixiong is naturally stronger than other people. He has an advantage that others don't, even if you hadn't exerted yourself enough to nearly break the seal, Luo-shixiong should be careful with how much strength he uses against others."

"Yuan-shidi shows too much benevolence." Luo Binghe huffed, gazing flickeringly up to Liu Qingge as he defended. "Even Qingge can handle it!"

Shen Yuan raised an incredulous brow, snorting softly. "And Liu-shixiong can also raze the entire Bai Zhan Peak by himself if he so pleases. You can't compare him to the others. It would be the same as comparing the two of us."

At this, Liu Qingge grunted softly. "Yuan could handle it."

"I can barely handle Song Rong," he scoffed, giggling as he said. "I'd last a few seconds, a minute at most between either of you before I became chopped liver."

"Why is Yuan even practicing with that Song Rong anyway?" Liu Qingge scoffed, lip twitching into a curl at the thought. He'd sparred once with Song Rong before, and the older man couldn't even handle him for a few minutes! What good could he do by teaching Shen Yuan? "You know you can just come to Bai Zhan whenever and spar."

"We both know that my Da-Shijie would not allow that," Shen Yuan pointed directly at Liu Qingge, a raised brow exemplifying his statement. "Besides, I've taken more lessons with my Shizun lately since she named me head disciple. She's planning on taking me to the next Peak Lord meeting."

Luo Binghe hummed with discontent, asking, "What does it matter what Ci Liang says? It's as Yuan-shidi said, he's the head disciple now. He could go wherever he pleases, Without-a-Cure has yet to be of any issue due to the exchanges."

"I can't do whatever I want because I'm the head disciple!"

"Then why even be head disciple!?"

Shen Yuan groaned at Luo Binghe, waving him off. "Things are different on Ling Shou compared to Bai Zhan! Someone needs to stay on the peak often enough to make sure that nothing goes awry with the beasts or the plants, and that the spiritual energy is always level. It won't be forever; I just have to get a grasp on things first before I can leave whenever I feel like."

"Someone else can't do it?" Liu Qingge inquired, raising a brow at the statement.

"Someone else could do it," he hummed softly before shaking his head. "But it's best if the head disciple learns to do it as well. I'll have people to help me, but I need to learn to do it on my own as well."

Luo Binghe huffed at the explanation. He knew that there came responsibilities with being a head disciple of one of the peaks of Cang Qiong, just as he had taken on a number of responsibilities when he became Emperor of the three realms, they were all rather boring and tedious. So far, however, from what he's seen of Liu Qingge's workload, there weren't nearly as many logistics or learning skills that needed to be mastered the same way that Shen Yuan had to do.

The biggest challenge that Luo Binghe had seen thus far in Bai Zhan was that Liu Qingge needed to stay on top of the others on the peak. Never losing a spar, regularly fighting the peak lord himself whenever he returned from night hunts and other such activities. Hell, none of that even needed to be done in Bai Zhan! Come and go as you please, but if you come, prepare for a beating! That was Bai Zhan's rules, and he rather liked them.

But Shen Yuan actually had to stay in Ling Shou. Perhaps not as much once time passed and he naturally grew to adapt to his responsibilities, but even then, surely with how he'd described it, he'd have to stay there more often than Liu Qingge or he ever had to stay in Bai Zhan.

"Then we'll come to you." Luo Binghe stated confidently. Grinning at the idea of seeing that overprotective Ling Shou Da-Shijie's reaction to their near-constant presence on the peak when she so clearly had been trying to persuade them away from Shen Yuan as of late. "If Yuan-shidi can't come all that often, then we will come to Ling Shou. Neither of us has to remain on Bai Zhan all that often; regardless, there would be no trouble."

Liu Qingge hummed affirmatively at the idea. The crease of his brow smoothed out with Luo Binghe's idea, adding, "It will also eliminate the prospect of any of us having to rush to either Ling Shou or Bai Zhan should an incident occur between either of you."

Shen Yuan laughed wryly, shaking his head. "Shixiong says it as if they plan to move into Ling Shou."

Why not? We don't have to stay in Bai Zhan all that much; we could just move in there! Luo Binghe snickered at his idea. Eyeing Liu Qingge, who only rolled his eyes at him and looked away. That's not a no on your part, Qingge!

"It's not us moving in," Liu Qingge corrected, crossing his arms over his chest. "Just call in joint-peak training."

"I don't think we can get away with that for long, Liu-shixiong."

"Then we'll use the soulmate excuse." Luo Binghe added shamelessly, a smile splitting in malicious delight when he watched Liu Qingge flush, aggravatedly, at his statement. "I've heard that some people find it hard to be away from their soulmate when they first figure it out, we can use that as an excuse!"

Liu Qingge groaned as he covered his eyes, shaking his head. "You're shameless."

"No, I'm innovative."

Shen Yuan, however, practically heard the system screaming in his head at Luo Binghe's statement. Damn it! Hadn't he muted that damn thing!? Ignoring it for the time being, he asked. "Luo-shixiong wants to tell people we're soulmates so quickly?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Luo Binghe sniffed, cocking a brow at Shen Yuan's confusion. "What do we have to hide?"

Don't you have some kind of girlfriend already!? Surely you can't be saying that you haven't lain with someone yet! I know I was emotionally inadequate back then, but even I noticed how you and Ning Yingying used to act around each other! What about your future wives!? I know we all agreed to 'wait until we understood,' but even I know that basically means not happening!

Shen Yuan coughed awkwardly. There was no way in hell he was saying all of that! Liu Qingge had always been a stickler with these kinds of things. He remembered back then how many times the War God used to come barging into Qing Jing, declaring Shen Qingqiu shameless for his visits to brothels. Of course, Shen Yuan understood that even back then, his brother wasn't going there for the assumed reasons, but he'd never tried to correct Liu Qingge either.

If he even so much as asked Luo Binghe about any of his...affairs, or even subtly hinted at them, Liu Qingge would likely beat him just for shamelessness!

"This one was only...curious." Yeah, curious about why the hell Luo Binghe's daring to cause an issue within his future harem! Dear protagonist, don't you know women get jealous!? He didn't want to be the one they were jealous of! Especially when there wasn't a damn thing there! "He wasn't sure if Luo-shixiong and Liu-shixiong were comfortable with such a thing."

"What's there to be uncomfortable about?" Liu Qingge huffed, eyeing Shen Yuan as the younger man pouted and glared in his direction. What was that expression for? Was he embarrassed or something? "We're soulmates. If someone has an issue with it, we beat them."

Liu Qingge! Don't you know you'll end up being a target too!? Haven't you ever read a novel before!? The main love interest...ahem, interests, always grow jealous if someone tries to take the man they desire! One of them may even well become your little sister! Stop digging the grave, we already have a foot in! I don't want my headstone to read, 'killed by angry harem women.'

Luo Binghe nodded approvingly, adding unhelpfully, "Or throw them into a mountain of fire ants." What an idea, Luo Binghe! Already showing your side of vengeance when nothing has even happened yet!? "Yuan-shidi should start calling us Binghe and Qingge, too. Since we already call him Yuan."

Everyone calls me Yuan, at least to some extent. Shen Yuan huffed at the statement. What was this going on with them? Normally, when the three met up, even if to clear his meridians or reestablish Luo Binghe's seal, they just bickered and playfully bantered with each other. What was with both of these brutes acting like this all of a sudden? Telling him to call them 'Binghe' and 'Qingge.'

Shrugging it off, he could make some sense of it; it was likely uncomfortable to call someone by such a close and friendly term only to be greeted back with a rather stiff and formal honorific. "Binghe-shixiong and Qingge-shixiong are both ridiculous. What good would that do? Beating someone up over us being soulmates, even if they did say something, just ignore it!"

Liu Qingge scoffed at the argument. Ignore it? Why would they ignore it? If someone dared to slander them, what was more justified than to return the slight tenfold? Whoever dared would technically be slandering all three of them. Two future peak lords and one of the highest ranking cultivators in Bai Zhan, even in all of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect. "One must return a slight given out, Yuan. If someone slanders us, we will return it tenfold."

"This one believes that Binghe-shixiong and Qingge-shixiong are just vindictive."

"Yuan-shidi!" Luo Binghe cried dramatically, leaning against Shen Yuan with enough weight that the smaller man had to genuinely retaliate against the weight across his shoulders with a stiff back. Snickering when Shen Yuan tried to hit him to get him off. "How could you say such a thing about your Shixiong? Your soulmates nonetheless! You'll tear a hole through our hearts!"

"Well deserved then!" Shen Yuan hissed, trying to lean forward so Luo Binghe's weight would roll off his back and he could stand up, but that damned Liu Qingge had joined the wrong side and used his ankle to pin his right leg to the side of the bed! "Bratty Shixiongs are what I have! Get off!"

"Shouldn't Yuan-shidi apologize to his soulmates? How could you treat us so cruelly?"

"I should throw you both into the viper dens!"

"Luo Binghe! Liu Qingge!"

Oh fuck.

Luo Binghe straightened, taking his weight off Shen Yuan's shoulders, while Liu Qingge stood from the bed immediately. Stepping forward to meet the fuming Qing Jing Peak disciple head-on. However, this only gave Shen Qingqiu the opportune moment to grab Liu Qingge by the lapels of his outer robes, growling, "What the fuck do you two think you're doing!?"

Liu Qingge stood unaffected, not even jostled by Shen Qingqiu's yanking. "We were discussing private matters."

"Private matters?" Shen Qingqiu chuckled maliciously, a reflection of the light gave way to the sharp edges of the intricately bordered fan. Each rib is a sharpened and light steel, both beautiful and deadly, all in the same style. One of those very ribs was raised close enough to Liu Qingge's chest to be seen as a threat, but far enough that it would take more than just a slight slip-up to cause bloodshed. "I believe hearing the term 'soulmate' is no longer a private matter, not towards my son."

Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge both hissed sharply through their teeth. Glancing at each other before startling when Shen Yuan surged forward and grabbed the wrist of the hand that held the war fan. Gently guiding it down, he said, "Er-ge—Baba." Clearing his throat at the correction, he was almost surprised at how natural it felt to use such a term towards the man he'd only known as his Er-ge for the past two lifetimes. "May this one explain, please?"

Shen Qingqiu moved faster this time, grabbing Shen Yuan and all but flying across the room with the younger in tow. Looking him over once, then twice, before looking over his shoulder to glare at the two brutes who now both stood in front of the bed and glared right back at him.

Raising his chin haughtily, Shen Qingqiu smirked triumphantly. Ha! Keep glaring, you damn brutes, as if I'd let you corrupt my A-Yuan! Try to trick him however you please, but I won't let you get through to him!

Shen Yuan grabbed the man's elbows, holding his arms steady as he said, "Ge—Baba, this one, Binghe-shixiong, and Qingge-shixiong have discussed amongst ourselves, and carefully deducted that we are soulmates. We share the same soulmark."

Binghe-shixong, Qingge-shixiong!? Soulmates!? Soulmark!?

Perhaps it would have been a death threat, maybe even a declaration of war between Bai Zhan Peak and Qing Jing Peak, or even just a scream. But whatever had been about to come out of Shen Qingqiu's mouth had been subdued as Yue Qingyuan walked into the room, smiling at first with a calm air about him, until he laid his sights on the scene before him, the very air tinged with the sharp scent of spiked ink and burning bamboo.

Of course, the just as equally displeasing scents of burning almonds and wilted lotus, along with rotted agarwood and sour bergamot, were of no help to the air of hostility. But at the very least, he could be soothed partially by the humble but calming scent of mint and warm vanilla. Only slightly nervous, but otherwise undisturbed.

Good, as it should be. But now he had the other three to deal with.

"Xiao-Jiu," he called first, finding both Shens standing at the opposite side of the room. Shen Yuan seemed rather unfazed, if only slightly disturbed by the multiple hostile scents around him. However, Shen Qingqiu seemed on the verge of either a mental breakdown or fainting. "Is everything alright?"

Shen Qingqiu's mouth opened and closed once, then twice, before it closed completely shut with a click. His eyes nearly bulged out of his head as he turned to face Yue Qingyuan, Shen Yuan still clasped tightly in his hands. Very well then, not a good sign, but at least he was somewhat responsive.

"Da–ge—Ahem, A-die," Shen Yuan called out instead, rather calm, if not only slightly annoyed. His expression didn't betray him this time, despite what likely could have turned into a fight; his expression was still controlled and calm. "There, perhaps, may have only been a little misunderstanding."

A misunderstanding? Yue Qingyuan eyed the room. Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge looked equally distressed and upset, and Shen Qingqiu seemed on the verge of two extremities that he'd like to avoid. Perhaps that makes sense.

However, at Shen Yuan's words, his soul seemed to return, and Shen Qingqiu asked rather hastily. "A misunderstanding? Did A-Yuan perhaps misspeak then?"

Shen Yuan raised a brow at Shen Qingqiu's question. He'd spoken clearly a moment ago, hadn't he? "Did I? This one said that Binghe-shixiong, Qingge-shixiong, and I discussed with each other and came to the understanding that we are all soulmates. As we share the same soulmark."

And...there it went.

A beat of silence, and then Shen Qingqiu spun on his heels, the fury of a thousand suns in his eyes as he growled. "You brutes! What lies did you fill A-Yuan's head with!?"

"Lies!?" Luo Binghe screeched, aghast and rather offended. Damn this Shen Qingqiu! Damn him, he said! What lies would he tell like this!? "You prickly old bastard! Yuan-shidi is our soulmate!"

Liu Qingge looked just as upset, but instead let Luo Binghe have his piece of screeching and shouting first. Partial to glaring and plotting in his head. However, even he couldn't help but spit out, "We all bear the same soulmark, he's our soulmate, Shen Qingqiu."

Shen Qingqiu looked between the two Bai Zhan disciples before turning to Shen Yuan, inhaling deeply as he gently took Shen Yuan by the shoulder, covering him entirely with his body before whispering, "Will A-Yuan let me see his soulmark for a moment?" He knew where it was at, and had seen it before, but he needed to make sure he had the clearest mental image possible!

Shen Yuan bore no protests, opening his lapels easily, revealing both the healing wounds and the vibrant soul mark that took up the entirety of his left pectoral. Shen Qingqiu studied for a moment, hardly stepping aside when Yue Qingyuan as well stepped closer to get a look for himself, stunned into a rather affronted silence.

Shen Qingqiu made sure he had every detail down in his head, each color and detail perfectly crafted a replica within his mind's eye as he stepped aside enough that, instead, Yue Qingyuan took up the space to shield Shen Yuan from view before turning on his heels and marching over to Liu Qingge. Without even a hint of the grace he normally possessed, he ripped open the side of Liu Qingge's lapels, revealing his identical mark.

"Shen Qingqiu!" Liu Qingge growled, shoving the man away as the Qing Jing Peak Head Disciple bit the inside of his cheek before he could say something rather inappropriate in front of his son.

When the man's harsh glare bore into Luo Binghe, the younger stepped back with a disgusted snarl as he opened his own robes, unwilling to let the other touch him or his clothes. Henceforth, revealing the third identical piece to the puzzle. Shen Qingqiu could both feel and hear the glass of his reality—which had only just been mended less than an hour ago—shatter around him.

A moment of silence that stretched on for far longer than necessary blanketed the room with a hostile vengeance, and Shen Qingqiu could only slowly turn back to Yue Qingyuan and Shen Yuan. One slowly leaned his weight back and forth on his feet with an expectant expression, while the other looked between the others with a stunned and dazed expression.

"They lied, A-Yuan." Shen Qingqiu stated flatly. "They had it wrong, your marks are different, and you're not soulmates."

"Lying bastard!"

"Shen Qingqiu!"

Yue Qingyuan stepped in quickly, grabbing Shen Qingqiu by the hand and leading him back over to their side of the room before either Luo Binghe or Liu Qingge took the initiative to start an actual brawl. "Xiao-Jiu...they do all share the same soulmark."

Shen Qingqiu cringed at the statement, glaring between the two before his gaze landed on Yue Qingyuan. "Qi-ge must be mistaken." He purposefully bypassed the larger man, taking Shen Yuan by the shoulder as he said. "Clearly, the day has been too long now, and everyone has lost their sense, we'll be going now."

"Baba," Shen Yuan sighed, grabbing Shen Qingqiu's hand and squeezing gently. He smiled at the older man, making sure that his expression was calm despite the denial. "They are my soulmates."

A heavy inhale, a long glance, and then a pained sigh. Shen Qingqiu pinched the bridge of his nose as he groaned softly, "Is A-Yuan sure he wants it to be them?" He promptly ignored the twin glares he received from the Bai Zhan disciples.

"It's not exactly a choice," Shen Yuan chuckled, shaking his head fondly. "It's just the same as you and Da-ge—A-die. Besides, we have discussed it together, and we are happy to just let things lie and flow steadily without any further prompting."

"For one, it is very different." He made a point of nudging Shen Yuan in Yue Qingyuan's direction. "Two, what exactly does A-Yuan mean? What have these brutes implied?"

"I'll happily show you what I imply—." Luo Binghe grinned wolfishly, grunting when Liu Qingge shot out his arm to stop him, eyeing him with an expression of understanding but reluctance.

Yue Qingyuan sighed at the hostility, making the move to stand in the middle before turning to Liu Qingge, offering a polite nod. "Liu-shidi, perhaps further explanation is due. How did you two figure this out? This one doubts it was A-Yuan who discovered you all bore the same soulmark."

"When that phantom had stabbed him, we saw the mark then, and we saw it again when Mu Qingfang was healing him. We only brought it up when everyone else left."

Well then, time for the bullshit excuse! "I can also sense it, A-die." Shen Yuan added, motioning to his palm. "It was only recently that I noticed, but our qi naturally coincides, just the same as yours and Baba's do."

Yue Qingyuan nodded slowly, looking between them before smiling. "Very well then, if the three of you have no issues with it, and have decided to take no further actions towards or against it, then nothing remains to be said on the matter. But as your Shixiong, this one congratulates you all nonetheless."

Luo Binghe smirked triumphantly at the response. Grinning a little wider when he saw Shen Qingqiu's displeased scowl, however, when a low whistle sounded from the doorway, the group all turned to see Ci Liang and Bai Daiyu standing in the doorway. One clapped softly while the other grinned knowingly, wolfish eyes gleaming mischievously.

"Well then," Ci Liang hummed, pushing herself off the doorway. "It seems Mu Qingfang owes me ten silver."

"You placed bets on our status?" Liu Qingge growled, raising a brow at the woman's audacity.

"Never, not in regards to my Xiao-Shidi." Ci Liang bit back, brows raised challengingly as she smiled. "This one and Mu-shixiong merely placed a bet on who would hit denial first. I placed my bets on Shen-shixiong, and he placed his bets on Yue-shixiong."

"Shimei..." Yue Qingyuan groaned, rubbing his eyes as he shook his head. It was a long day, okay? He just wanted some downtime with his mate and his son, thank you very much! It was already enough to keep his composure upon learning it was two of Bai Zhan's disciples—Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe, nonetheless—were his A-Yuan's soulmates!

Had he perhaps prayed to every deity known to humankind that his A-Yuan would have been blessed to stay pure forever, untainted and untied from worldly matters such as soulmates? Yes, yes, he had. Was he ever going to apologize or admit that? Absolutely not.

Would he bite his tongue and still be supportive now that light had been shown on the matter, and his A-Yuan was taking the situation by the reins himself without even coming to him beforehand? Yes, absolutely, and he was so damn proud. But would he be planning a few ways to write off an unexpected casualty during a night hunt between Qiong Ding and Bai Zhan? Perhaps.

Ci Liang laughed at his struggles, merely waving at him dismissively. "I'll go collect my bounty. Be sure to bring him back by nightfall. Shizun wishes to check on him herself later."

Before another awkward silence could befall them, Shen Qingqiu snatched Shen Yuan by the shoulders, guiding him out of the room as he nodded for Yue Qingyuan to follow. "This one suggests you brutes return to Bai Zhan."

Shen Yuan made a valiant attempt to at least give a simple wave in greeting farewell, no matter how quickly he was dragged out of the infirmary. However, Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe both shared the same thoughts.

There were still going to be some problems.

Chapter Text

“Holy shit!” Shang Qinghua exclaimed, propping himself up on the blanket Shen Yuan had set out for him while the others manipulated the leaves around him. Circulating the qi within the barrage of hundreds of redwood leaves that spun around him, sharpened into a barrage of knives as each individual followed the gentle and controlled movement of his hand. “I know I didn’t write much for the original Shen Shi, but I never imagined the world would take something like that into its own hands!”

“Did you ever even have a plan as to how Shen Shi would have been Shen Jiu’s and Yue Qi’s younger brother?” Shen Yuan chuckled, no longer surprised by the trainwreck that Proud Immortal Demon Way had been. It honestly should have been something he questioned sooner. Seven and eight years of difference between them, but both of his brothers had grown up together since they were quite young. “Me being a plant baby makes even more sense than a random child just popping into existence as their brother purely for a sad backstory.”

“Shen Shi was just meant to be a burner character, someone to hurt purely for the sake of Shen Jiu’s blackening. I didn’t think that far.” Shang Qinghua shrugged, lying on his stomach as he watched Shen Yuan control the leaves, each step he took within the eye of the tornado causing the grass beneath his feet to grow. “Has the system said anything to you lately?”

Shen Yuan groaned at that, striking out with his hand, and sighing when he heard the leaves lodge themselves into the stump of the tree in front of him. He crossed his arms and nodded, thinking about it for a moment, and that annoying blue screen flashed before his face, the only clear thing he could make out in his blurred vision of hazy colors.

[This System welcomes back User after his long break! (^ｖ^)]

Shen Yuan rolled his eyes, scrolling past the welcoming banner as he clicked on the notifications, grumbling at the sight of so many.

[New item unlocked! Hui Qu! Lustrous Song! +50 B-Points!]

[New status unlocked! “Head Disciple, future Ling Shou Peak Lord!” +100 B-Points!]

[Danger! Danger! Warning, unknown subject up ahead!]

[Congratulations on solving a plot hole! +50 B-Points!]

[User is suffering critical damage. Would User like this System’s assistance?]

[Congratulations! User has unlocked new plot point! “Frenemies? Do Frenemies Cradle Each Other?” +200 B-Points!]

[New status unlocked! “Son of Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu!” New plot point unlocked! “A Flower Blooms Best Near The Mountain And In The Auttum!” +300 B-Points!]

[Congratulations! New plot point unlocked! “The Love Of Soulmates Will Transcend Lifetimes!” +200 B-Points!]

“Gah!” Shen Yuan groaned, scrolling down until he reached the end of them. “What’s with these ridiculous names!? The love of soulmates…a flower blooms…what corny nonsense is this!?”

[This System tries its best to produce cool names! User should be more gracious! (¬､¬)]

“Gracious!?” Shen Yuan screeched, eyebrow twitching from annoyance. “I should just block you out completely forever! Who should be gracious here?”

Shang Qinghua laughed at the exchange, shaking his head as he said. “There is no reasoning with that thing, trust me, I’ve nearly ripped my hair out trying.”

Shen Yuan grumbled further, swatting at the screen before mumbling, “Are there any other assignments we need to be aware of?”

[The only assignments that User has is, “Fallen Emperor? No More!” User must help Tianlang-Jun escape to complete. “From A Disciple To A Lord!” User must ascend to the position of Ling Shou Peak Lord to complete. Total of 300 B-Points when both are completed!]

Shen Yuan nodded slowly, cringing at the lackluster number of B-Points, but he wasn’t about to give himself a headache trying to figure it out or argue with the system anymore. “Very well then, you can leave.” He waved off the blue screen, turning his back to it and ignoring the robotic screeching of its disappointment before it vanished.

“By the way,” Shang Qinghua rummaged through his sleeves quickly, pulling out two flowers, sitting up enough to place them in Shen Yuan’s hands. “I can’t believe I’m admitting this…but your advice actually worked? Kind of? Mobei-Jun actually got them when I asked him to.”

The Eclipsed-Sunflower and Hell’s-Fire Orchid!

“Holy shit! He got both?!” These things were incredibly rare, normally impossible to find if you weren’t the protagonist, and Mobei-Jun had somehow gotten his hands on both!? “Did you hit him back or something?”

Shang Qinghua laughed awkwardly, leaning back on his legs as he coughed. “I mean…sort of? I ended up…pinching his cheeks and squishing his face a bit before asking for them and running away.”

“And…And it worked?” Clearly, it worked! He was holding two of the rarest—of the hundreds in this accursed world—but…how!?

“Hey, don’t ask me! You’re the one who gave me the advice!” Shang Qinghua huffed, letting his back hit the blanket that was his old protection from the icy ground. It will start snowing soon in the coming days. Of course, it didn’t mean much to him, he’d gotten used to the cold a long time ago. “He just showed up the other day in my bedroom and dropped them on my desk without a word! I swore he showed up to kick my ass for what happened, but nope! He…He actually looked pretty…pleased?”

“Holy shit I cannot believe Tianlang-Jun was right…” Shen Yuan muttered, feeling about the qi within the flowers for a moment before tucking them into his sleeves. “So…you think he’s courting you now?”

Shang Qinghua groaned at the question, long, and loud. Placing his arm over his eyes, he whined. “I don’t know! He didn’t say anything! Do you think Tianlang-Jun was wrong? Maybe Ice Demons are different.”

You should know! You created them! Shen Yuan thought petulantly but otherwise said nothing else, merely shrugging at Shang Qinghua’s question. He snickered when he heard Shang Qinghua groan, summoning the barrage of leaves from the tree to swirl around him again. His qi was keeping them alive and healthy, so for however long he ignored them, they slowly began to wilt and die in that time. That is until their livelihood was restored by his qi, lighting them up into the healthy shade of green with loose stems.

“I should go talk to Tianlang-Jun soon,” Shen Yuan murmured. Making sure the Hell’s Fire-Orchid and the Eclipsed-Sunflower were tucked safely into his sleeves. “I can conjoin both of these with the Sun-Moon Dew Mushroom, and he’ll have an even stronger body than originally planned.”

Shang Qinghua hummed at the statement, murmuring softly, “Isn’t there a meeting tomorrow with the rest of the peak lords? I don’t think you can skip out on that one, Qinglin.”

“It’ll have to be a quick trip then,” Shen Yuan shrugged. “I’ll just say that I’m taking Yingzi out for endurance training until tomorrow morning.”

“Are you going to tell Tianlang-Jun about—?”

“Absolutely not.” Shen Yuan interrupted, head snapping at Shang Qinghua with a frosty glare. “I would never hear the end of it!”

“He’s going to find out when he gets out you know!”

“Sure, but he won’t find out through me!”

Good on his word, Shen Yuan left with Xiao Yingzi that evening. Promising to be back before midday the next day before the peak lords meeting. Thankfully, his peak siblings had long since grown used to him leaving their sight every now and then for a day or so to either take Xiao Yingzi off of the peak or to meditate, and there was very little fuss over him or his condition.

Shen Yuan carefully led Xiao Yingzi toward the forest; he’d contemplated leaving him near the borders but figured that alone was too risky. If someone were to pass by, they’d surely recognize the insignia of Ling Shou on Xiao Yingzi’s saddle, and not to mention Shen Yuan knew his companion, he’d follow him inside even if he tied the horse to a tree.

He clicked his tongue softly, dismounting from Xiao Yingzi’s saddle as he stepped carefully, searching the ground for that familiar figure. Suddenly, Xiao Yingzi snorted and then squealed aggressively, rising onto his hind legs as he attempted to stomp on whatever was under him.

Shen Yuan shushed him quickly, grabbing his reigns and pulling him close, soothing the creature gently. “Easy, easy Yingzi. It’s only Zhuzhi-Lang.” Shen Yuan smiled down where he sensed the demon, all too used to the snake’s greeting of an—all still too human—head nudging against his leg. “Apologizes Zhuzhi-Lang, Xiao Yingzi is merely skittish, and he wouldn’t have waited outside of the forest.”

Zhuzhi-Lang hissed softly, tail coiling around Shen Yuan’s ankle gently before leading the way. Xiao Yingzi snorted softly as the creature glared down at the large snake in front of them, roughing up the ground with his hooves while Shen Yuan soothed him. “Be nice, Yingzi. Zhuzhi-Lang is a friend, we don’t trample friends.”

Shen Yuan helped lead Xiao Yingzi to the mountain’s base, soothing the beast enough that he lay on the ground, huffing and puffing begrudgingly as Shen Yuan stepped away to greet Tianlang-Jun. “Majesty, this one has brought good news.”

“Yuan!” Tianlang-Jun grinned at the sight of the young man. The dark plum of his robes with their olive-green accents blended perfectly with the darkness of the coming night. Still, it stood out like the final rays of the sun of the evening, leaving only a faint silhouette where the silver of his belt and the gradient of artic blue and crimson of his scabbard glinted softly in the fading sunlight. “How kind of you to visit this one! What is the good news?”

Shen Yuan procured the plants from his sleeves, grinning triumphantly as he displayed them in his hands. “His Majesty’s advice worked; Mobei-Jun delivered Shang Qinghua’s request. This one can go to retrieve the Sun-Moon Dew Mushroom now, your new body can be completed in the coming years. Perhaps even less than a decade due to both the Eclipsed-Sunflower and the Hell’s Fire-Orchid!” His tone was confident, happy, and excited. It’d been a lot of planning, and more than a few risky escape plans on his part, but he’d finally be able to help Tianlang-Jun escape!

Luo Binghe could have the family he always deserved.

Tianlang-Jun’s eyes widened at the sight of both flowers, though his gaze quickly traveled to Shen Yuan’s excited countenance. The youth was hardly able to stay still where he stood. Long hair swaying with him as he bounced on his heels, it was pure excitement and pride. An expression Tianlang-Jun remembered only ever seeing on another person’s face when they themselves accomplished something that benefited them greatly and most times solely.

Ah, Yuan. Tianlang-Jun couldn’t help but smile, it was almost impossible for his normally dark and depressed thoughts to stay at the forefront of his mind in the presence of such a youth. Always so excited for others, such a sweet little thing! You’d worry this Emperor over your naivety and compassion if this one weren’t sure that his son was watching over you!

However, when Shen Yuan didn’t say anything else, even beginning to slowly inch toward the direction he knew led to the cave that held the Sun-Moon Dew Mushroom, Tianlang-Jun only laughed. “Yuan may go ahead then; this Emperor can wait for him to return.”

Shen Yuan nodded quickly. Practically sprinting off while Zhuzhi-Lang slithered after him. Xiao Yingzi squealed, startled by the sudden movement. Hurriedly, the beast raised from the ground, charging after Shen Yuan and Zhuzhi-Lang as Tianlang-Jun laughed from where he watched.

How curious! He’d have to ask Yuan about that beast of his!

Shen Yuan was only able to run for a short time before halting when Xiao Yingzi caught up to him, catching the collar of his robes with his teeth while Zhuzhi-Lang hissed beneath their feet.

“Ah, sorry, sorry,” he reached up to soothe the beast, petting his muzzle and brushing out his mane with his fingers until Xiao Yingzi relented and freed him, instead necking his shoulder until Shen Yuan was pulled into the horse equivalent of a hug. “This one won’t scare Yingzi again.”

See! He truly never understood how people always called his sweet Xiao Yingzi a beast! True, he was rather aggressive with newcomers and those he was not familiar with, but that was only because of a traumatic past where he’d been treated so neglectfully by Cheng Qiang! Shen Yuan had been one of the only people to treat him with even an ounce of compassion without running in fright because of his size and the facade of aggression.

His Yingzi was sweet and gentle! What beast would let him hug and lather himself over its mane and coat without trying to bite him or kick him? People just needed to show some more compassion! Xiao Yingzi just required a bit of extra patience!

“My brave friend, how caring, how loving,” Xiao Yingzi always loved it when he cooed to him, and now was no different. The horse snickered affectionately, chuffing gently against Shen Yuan’s shoulder, something he knew to be an equal show of affection. “This one will need to enter the cave with Zhuzhi-Lang, will Yingzi please stand guard outside? That way this one will know that nothing can sneak in behind us?”

Xiao Yingzi brayed confidently, digging at the ground with his powerful legs before letting Shen Yuan lead the rest of the way. Shen Yuan felt around the entrance of the cave, he knew it was a narrow passage, hence why he’d coaxed Xiao Yingzi into staying outside. But even he was getting a little nervous at the prospect!

Ever since he came to Ling Shou, he’d grown so used to the outdoors. Sleeping in the meadows and on the hills with his Shijie and Shixiong some nights if the weather was agreeable. He always had the room to run and find his own footing without being cramped and crowded with unfamiliarity. But this, he was unfamiliar with, and there was no room for him to backtrack, to feel about and be sure of his surroundings.

He wasn’t a fan of such tight spaces.

Zhuzhi-Lang hissed softly at his feet, the end of his tail coiling around his ankle in an almost sympathetic way. Shen Yuan shook off the initial anxiety, Zhuzhi-Lang knew this place well, he could trust him to lead the way, and Xiao Yingzi would likely trample anyone who tried to sneak in behind them.

“Lead the way, Zhuzhi-Lang.” He turned only once to make sure he could still sense Xiao Yingzi standing guard at the entrance before following behind Zhuzhi-Lang, thankful for every time the snake’s tail would gently flick against his foot, reminding him that he was not alone. “The Sun Moon-Dew Mushroom should be under the light of the sun and the moon, is there an opening somewhere in this cave, Zhuzhi-Lang?”

The demon made a soft noise of agreement, a trill rather than a hiss, and Shen Yuan nodded to himself as he followed. It was only as his footing caught the edge of the path that he sensed the body of water in front of him. It was teeming with spiritual energy, likely something that would make for an excellent ingredient for a tonic if anyone ever tried it.

Zhuzhi-Lang dove into the water, trilling softly when his head poked up. Shen Yuan understood, removing his boots before jumping in himself. The water only went up to his waist, he could feel the healing and spiritual properties it had, and when his hand reached out to feel the little island in the middle of this lake, he felt about until he found the sprouts.

However, when he heard Zhuzhi-Lang swim away from the little island he hummed softly with confusion. “Zhuzhi-Lang? What is wrong?” He grabbed only two, he’d need one for each demonic flower to fuse all four together to make the strongest body possible for Tianlang-Jun. “Are you alright?”

He waded back over to the shore when he heard Zhuzhi-Lang hiss softly, his tail slapping against the ground rhythmically, clearly upset that he couldn’t articulate his grievances properly, and Shen Yuan was literally blind to them as well.

Shen Yuan thought for a moment until he realized a possibility. “Is Zhuzhi-Lang unable to go into the light?” The light from which the sprouts grew was of the sun and moon, a heavenly blessing upon the earth. Spiritual and pure, it was rather harmful to any sort of demonic entity. “Is that why Zhuzhi-Lang was never able to get the Sun Moon-Dew Mushroom himself?”

Zhuzhi-Lang hissed sadly, nudging against Shen Yuan’s bare ankle as the young man hummed softly, being gentle as he patted the demon’s head. Careful when he combed his fingers through the locks of hair on the—still all too human—head. “This one understands. Lord Zhuzhi-Lang did all that he could for His Majesty, it is this one’s honor that he was able to help both of the Lords.”

Unknown to him, wide and pale eyes gazed up at this young man with honorable reverence. A devotion and promise left unsaid, a droplet of kindness returned with a flood. One could not say such devotion, as it would be improper, but perhaps then it was for the best that Zhuzhi-Lang could not speak at all. For it was not the reverence of repayment, a debt that could be repaid, but a life endowment of gratitude.

When Zhuzhi-Lang made no other move to lead him to any other part of the grotto, Shen Yuan hummed softly as he grabbed his boots, tying them together before slinging them over his shoulder. “Let’s return to His Majesty and prepare the fusion of the flowers, it won’t take long, this one has been practicing with his Da-Shijie so he could be prepared for Tianlang-Jun and Zhuzhi-Lang.”

The departure from the grotto was akin to a run, while Shen Yuan could feel the undeniable presence of heavenly spiritual energy, a cramped space was still a cramped space. He breathed easier once he was outside, the feel of grass beneath his feet a welcome change. Xiao Yingzi snorted pleasantly when Shen Yuan emerged, trotting forward to meet him. Sniffing and nudging him expectantly, searching for anything amiss while Shen Yuan laughed and brushed his fingers over Xiao Yingzi’s coat.

Zhuzhi-Lang took the lead once again, slithering faster this time down the familiar path as Shen Yuan followed behind, seated on Xiao Yingzi's back, sidesaddle. The horse having thrown his head about and whinnied with aggravation when Shen Yuan didn’t climb onto the saddle, instead having tried to follow behind Zhuzhi-Lang on foot.

Tianlang-Jun watched with piqued interest and amusement as Xiao Yingzi carefully came down the hill to the base of the mountain, snorting softly as Shen Yuan dismounted before laying himself in the grass near the young man. “That horse of yours, Yuan…He’s rather protective.” A good steed then! He wasn’t judging, of course not! But he was also rather curious! He’d never seen an animal act as instinctually and protectively over a human before, or even a demon for that matter!

Shen Yuan hummed softly, setting himself down on the grass as he laid out the flowers and mushrooms. They all were in the earlier stages of development, based on the energies each one gave off, so this wouldn’t be as difficult. “Xiao Yingzi is one my oldest friends.” Both from this life and the past. “He’s seen me through many battles and challenges and has always been there to protect me. He as well was not treated very well before we came to Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, and as such, he can be rather aggressive towards newcomers. But he truly is very sweet once given the time and patience to warm up to someone.”

“He and Yuan have come from the same place?” That would explain the clear possessiveness that the animal exuded, however, it did not explain the reasoning behind Xiao Yingzi’s apparent ‘aggressiveness.’ “Then does he get along well with Yuan’s brothers?”

Shen Yuan coughed awkwardly at that, pausing in his preparations as he realized there were more than a few things he needed to catch Tianlang-Jun up on. He, however, would not be telling him about the soulmates’ ordeal! He did not need the demon holding that over him!

“Ah well…not exactly, Xiao Yingzi tolerates them, but he isn’t as welcoming to most others. Many don’t give him the time to warm up to them and don’t make the effort to frequent themselves, so…he only is this close with me.” Xiao Yingzi whinnied softly, throwing his head back while Shen Yuan turned his body to face the stallion. “Yes, Yingzi, this one knows that you are not at fault.”

Tianlang-Jun couldn’t help but laugh at the exchange, while he knew that Shen Yuan was no master just yet, he could understand why that Shizun of his had chosen him to lead the peak of Ling Shou! Yuan, such an innate sense towards the flora and fauna of this world, and even you can’t sense the clear possessiveness of that beast! My, I wonder how that son of mine reacts to such a creature!

“And my son? How does Xiao Yingzi fare with him or that Bai Zhan Head Disciple you have spoken so much about?”

Shen Yuan chuckled humorlessly, shaking his head with clear exasperation. “Binghe-shixiong and Qingge-shixiong both don’t get along well with Xiao Yingzi. However, this one blames their attitudes solely! They never even gave Yingzi the chance!” As he huffed and puffed, Shen Yuan quickly realized his mistake when Tianlang-Jun cooed affectionately.

His grin split his lips, revealing sharp fangs and an even sharper tongue. “My, my Yuan! It seems that son of mine has grown onto you! And Qingge-shixiong? Is that the name of the allusive Bai Zhan Head Disciple? How close you three must be to call each other so intimately!”

Shen Yuan groaned at his teasing, shaking his head as he turned his face toward the ground, already knowing that his ears were burning from embarrassment. “Don’t say it in such a way! You make it sound as if we were caught doing something wrong!”

“And were you, Yuan?” He couldn’t help himself! He was curious and impatient! “This venerable one would never judge of course! But shouldn’t a father be aware of who his son has his sights on?”

You better have a good memory then! Shen Yuan hissed internally, face burning from humiliation. How could someone act so shamelessly!? Tianlang-Jun was worse than Luo Binghe himself! You’ll be counting over six hundred wives, you hear!? Don’t go looking at me first, however! I’ll be far away from that list!

“His Majesty shouldn’t speak so brazenly.” Shen Yuan grumbled, marking out the final sigil he’d practiced for days and nights on end, placing each flower and mushroom in their designated spot that he’d marked with stones before scooting back. “This one isn’t someone like that to Bing—. Ahem, Luo-shixiong or Liu-shixiong. We’ve only grown closer as friends recently, but none of us have ever—...We have no plans nor intentions to ever behave that way!”

Tianlang-Jun snickered at the flushed countenance, but otherwise fell quiet as he watched Shen Yuan’s palm ignite with a gentle light before pressing it against the ground. The sigil that he’d dug into the ground with his fingers began to glow as the spiritual energy seeped through the earth, igniting each point where a flower or mushroom sat.

The spectacle that began was rather eye-catching. Each plant was ignited with a different color, one red, the other blue, purple, and green. They glowed brighter and brighter until each one began to seep out either a black or white cloud of qi before both energies clashed into each other. There was a resounding crack, and each plant body shattered into pieces, the shards flying to the center of the sigil before the mixed energies of spiritual and demonic descended upon the shards, finishing off with a thick cloud of smoke and a bright flash.

Xiao Yingzi squealed, startled as he ran over to Shen Yuan, leaning down and nudging Shen Yuan away from the sigil with his head as he dug at the ground before it with a challenging demeanor; as if threatening the inanimate object. Shen Yuan quickly soothed him, cooing and whispering to him as he led him to lay back down in the grass. “Gentle, Yingzi, this one is alright.”

Tianlang-Jun watched with rampant attention as the puff of smoke cleared, revealing a larger sprout than the previous four. Each petal was a different color, but the base of the flower-mushroom mix was thick and black, the thorns an ivory color that glinted menacingly, and yet posed no threat as Shen Yuan leaned down to pick it up, cradling it in his hands carefully.

Shen Yuan smiled as he stepped closer to Tianlang-Jun, gracefully lowering himself to his knees as he presented the sprout to the heavenly demon, saying proudly, “This one is honored to present His Majesty with the sprout of his new form.” Shen Yuan carefully scooted closer, fearlessly taking the rotted and bony hand of the fallen emperor as he gently pressed the sprout against his hand, allowing him to feel the seedling energy that would soon coincide with his own. “With this sprout, His Majesty will be able to roam freely again soon. It should take no more than a decade to fully mature, and this one will be sure to come as often as possible to make sure it matures even before that time! Likewise, this one is sure that once Luo Binghe sees you again, he will be most thrilled, and you both will be safe again.”

Tianlang-Jun stared at the sprout, but his gaze did not linger for long as he slowly looked further up at the excited and proud expression of the young man before him. The young man that could so fearlessly take his hand, knowing of the strength he possessed, despite the unseemly state he was in, and even more so, despite all odds, had been so willing to go above and beyond to offer him this chance of freedom.

That rotted hand pulled away from the sprout, instead reaching out to brush against Shen Yuan’s cheek, patting the healthy and pale skin gently before letting his strength deplete once more. “This venerable one can not thank Yuan enough.” Truly, he couldn’t. However, he could selfishly hope for only one more thing. “He is most grateful for the sacrifices he has made for this Emperor and Zhuzhi-Lang.”

“It was of no sacrifice for this one,” Shen Yuan reassured. “This one…I–. I merely wanted a better future for Luo Binghe, and for Tianlang-Jun…for the two of them to be given a second chance, away from prejudice and bias.”

Away from the pain I had caused back then. Far, far away.

He was no fool, he knew that a large part of Luo Binghe’s blackening was because of him. He knew, despite whatever poison he’d been infected with back then, it was primarily his fault. He didn’t have to take Luo Binghe from Shen Qingqiu back then, he could have sent him somewhere else, somewhere safer.

He didn’t have to pretend that there was nothing there. That he hadn’t known of his and Luo Binghe’s status from the first moment. He didn’t have to purposefully hide so much from his only disciple. Hell, he couldn’t have felt more than natural for Luo Binghe back then, and yet, he’d still so selfishly kept him. He’d done wrong by him, far more than he’d ever be able to forgive himself for, but now, in this life, he’d do right.

He’d make it better. He wouldn’t let things go down that path, never again.

Tianlang-Jun couldn’t help but stare a moment longer, a smile far gentler than that he’d known for many years splitting his lips softly. What a young man, Yuan…Truly, how did that son of mine get so lucky? How could you say you wish nothing from him? Or me? No hopes of love or fruits for your labor? How could one be so selfless? When Tianlang-Jun only hummed softly, Shen Yuan took that as his cue.

Carefully, he stood and searched the grounds around him for the perfect spot. When he found it, he began to dig, clawing at the ground before Zhuzhi-Lang slithered over quickly to help him. It took them no time together and Shen Yuan was able to place the sprout in the ground carefully, shaded away from the sun, but close enough to the shadows that it could still possess the light of the moon.

“Zhuzhi-Lang will have to keep watch over the sprout, will he be alright to do so?”

Zhuzhi-Lang quickly hissed affirmatively, nudging Shen Yuan’s leg gently before the two moved closer back to Tianlang-Jun. When he saw that the young man was still unable to hold still, Tianlang-Jun hummed questioningly, “Yuan, what else do you need to tell this one?”

Damn it! I hate it when he does that! Shen Yuan thought to himself bitterly, definitely not pouting as he turned his face to the ground to hide his expression, having learned through too much trial and error that no matter how hard he tried, he did not have a poker face anymore.

Which sucked. If he’s being honest here, it really, really sucked sometimes.

“Yuan~” Tianlang-Jun coaxed further, in a very good mood at the moment, so he didn’t feel the need to use any tricks as usual to convince Shen Yuan to open up to him. Happy to just tease for the moment until this little cultivator's thin face gave way soon enough! “Don’t be so mean to this Emperor! Shouldn’t you be more open with me? This one is rather wise, he could help you with whatever is troubling you.”

“Nothing is troubling me…” Shen Yuan mumbled bitterly, fuming when he heard Tianlang-Jun coo at him. Damn it! He turned his face away and Tianlang-Jun could still see him!? Or was he just being mean and guessing!? “

“Yuan should know better than to lie! What if his tongue tied in knots from the lies he told?”

“That’s just an old myth parents tell their children to keep them well-behaved!”

“Yes, I suppose that is true~” He took a long look at Shen Yuan, thinking of his behavior as of this night. When the idea struck him, he spoke immediately. “Does Yuan have something to tell this one about those brothers of his? Or perhaps my son and that Liu Qingge you’ve mentioned?”

How is this fair!? Shen Yuan cried out indignantly to himself, wanting nothing more than to bite something in outrage. Why does he always guess these sorts of things!?

By the poorly hidden reaction alone Tianlang-Jun easily realized he’d struck the point head-on, and grinned devilishly as he said. “Come now, Yuan~ Don’t be so quick to try and hide things from this one, what if he could help, hm? Especially when it comes to that son of mine?”

Shen Yuan huffed, crossing his arms over his chest as he mumbled, “There is nothing to be helped with!”

“Then why doesn’t Yuan tell me the story of what happened? Clearly, it’s heavy on your heart, speaking of it will help.”

Damn this demon! Damn him and his stupid perception!

Shen Yuan fell back onto his haunches, sitting in the lotus position as he propped his chin up with his hand against his knee, mumbling to himself before relenting. He had wanted to wait for all of this, perhaps even let Luo Binghe tell Tianlang-Jun himself if he so pleased, but it seemed that was out of the question.

“Recently, this one was attacked—...Met by a Heart-Vengence Phantom, it was only after Luo-shixiong and Liu-shixiong found me and helped that I was taken to Qian Cao and we discovered that I am born of the Thousand Petal Peach Blossom from both of my brothers—. My A-die’s and Baba’s blood. Making me their biological child….”

“My,” Tianlang-Jun hummed. “What a development, however, this one isn’t too surprised. Many fantastical things can happen in this world, and your relationship with your brothers, ahem, your parents always did appear far more paternal rather than just mere siblings.”

Shen Yuan nodded slowly, he could admit that his brothers—. His parents, good heavens they really were his parents. He could admit that his parents, no matter being raised as their baby brother, had always behaved as such toward him. They treated him like their own—as he was—since the beginning. A part of him always knew they were not basic siblings, that they did not behave to the norm that most siblings did, but he had always blamed that on their upbringing.

It was…rather satisfying to know now that it was not only their circumstances that brought them so close together.

“However…” Shen Yuan coughed awkwardly, already feeling his gut twisting at the fact he was about to reveal this to Tianlang-Jun of all people. Heavens help him whenever this demon was free and he went to join Luo Binghe’s side, if Luo Binghe ever heard of even half the things that they spoke of, Shen Yuan would just rather die of shame. “Something else…was revealed as well after the meeting with the Heart-Vengence Phantom.”

“Oh?” Tianlang-Jun grinned, excited now that they were moving on to the second part of his question. He wasn’t all that surprised by the development of Shen Yuan’s brothers truly being his parents, he’d always figured that had been the case to some extent. Whether biological or adoption, either way, he was not surprised but pleasantly content on Shen Yuan’s behalf. “Do tell this Emperor, Yuan, I’m at the edge of my seat.”

“His Majesty is acting ridiculous.”

“Enough teasing, Yuan!” Tianlang-Jun whined. “Tell me what else happened? Too much suspense is a thing!”

Shen Yuan rolled his eyes, steeling himself for whatever outcome would come of this. He just had to pray that Tianlang-Jun wouldn’t want to kill him, other than that, any reaction couldn’t be too bad, right? “This one…and Qingge-shixiong and Binghe-shixiong also…came to the discovery that we all bear the same soulmark, and as such are soulmates…” Okay, he said it! Now he could die peacefully!

That is, he could have died peacefully, if not for the startling yet triumphant shout from Tianlang-Jun. The heavenly demon practically howled with victory as he laughed. “Ha! Ah, thank the heavens! Finally, some news that this one can look forward to hearing more often!”

What?! What is he saying!? Shen Yuan blanched, his attention swiveling between the triumphant heavenly demon and Zhuzhi-Lang, who was so clearly exasperated by Tianlang-Jun’s reaction as the snake hissed softly and slithered closer to Shen Yuan, his tail wrapping around the young man’s hand almost apologetically.

“M-Majesty…” Shen Yuan stuttered, still caught by surprise as he tried to clear his throat. “This one doesn’t…understand what you are saying.”

“Ah, of course, Yuan-er. Let this Emperor explain,” Yuan-er!? Where the hell did that nickname come from!? And so suddenly!? “This one had figured that my son had some attraction towards you, seeing as you claimed he “did not like you” but had yet to cause you any severe harm or attempt to, and of course, as time has gone on, I’ve been partial to your budding relationship.”

Our fucking what!?

“Of course, I am not entirely surprised by the development of that Liu Qingge character being your third. While I have yet to meet him, Yuan-er speaks so fondly of him, and he seems to care for my son as well, so I will be partial towards him as well!”

“Wait…Wait!” Shen Yuan waved his hands in front of him, trying to keep Tianlang-Jun from shooting off at the mouth again. He felt like he was about to have an aneurysm! “You…You wanted us…Us to–. Tianlang-Jun! Sh-Shameless! What if Binghe could hear you right now?! He’d be mortified!”

“Ah, now he’s only Binghe!” Tianlang-Jun teased relentlessly, reveling in the bright red blush that spread across Shen Yuan’s face. “Ha, don’t take it so heartfully, Yuan-er. I am merely a father concerned for my son’s relationship. Is it shameless to be partial to certain people I would hope my son to be with one day?”

“Y-Yes!” Shen Yuan screeched, groaning as he covered his face with his hands, mumbling to himself before shouting. “Shameless! My Baba would rather rip out his own tongue that speaks of such things like this! He’d drag me by the ear if I spoke so shamelessly too!”

Tianlang-Jun laughed harder, unable to keep a calm demeanor in front of such an endearing sight. This little Yuan-er was rather thin-faced, hardly able to keep his expression from revealing his heart’s most private secrets, and far too naive to be able to endure such talk. It was rather adorable in his opinion!

“Ah, of course, of course, forgive me, Yuan-er.” Tianlang-Jun tried to placate him, smiling when he saw Shen Yuan turn away from him, fullying hiding his expression, but not the flushed state of his ears. “This one was just rather excited to hear that his hopes had come to fruition.”

“Who would hope for such a thing, huh?” Shen Yuan scoffed. “His Majesty is just bored! Too much time on his hands is all! Why would he even hope that it would be Qingge or I to be his soulmates or someone he’d…he’d–. Be like that with!?”

“Likely the same reason that your parents are not amiable with that horse of yours,” he chuckled, watching as Shen Yuan turned once again to face him. This time with a confused countenance as his attention varied between Tianlang-Jun and Xiao Yingzi. “We will just call it concern, for now, Yuan-er.”

“What concern?” Shen Yuan questioned, almost a little offended by the implications in Tianlang-Jun’s tone. His Xiao Yingzi wasn’t bad! There was no reason to have concern for him with his trusted steed! “Xiao Yingzi is completely trustworthy, I entrust my life with him above anyone else!” Okay…kind of, there was a bit of a tie there, but it still counted!

Tianlang-Jun scoffed fondly, clicking his tongue. “Not exactly in that sense, Yuan-er.” He cleared his throat softly, making sure he spoke clearly. “Your parents are not amiable to Xiao Yingzi because they do not understand him, but just the same they have no choice but to trust him with you. Likewise, I do not know of anyone else other than you and that Liu Qingge, while I would hope to trust my son’s judgment, I am naturally going to be partial to the both of you, because I can trust you.”

Shen Yuan paused at that, his rebuke catching in his throat as he settled into the grass, humming softly. “I…I suppose that makes sense. But Binghe-shixiong and Qingge-shixiong still aren’t…we’re not like that with each other. We’re only friends, and we have decided to move no further with anything until they–. We have it figured out amongst ourselves.”

Tianlang-Jun nodded slowly, not making a sound as he watched Shen Yuan’s expression. There truly was so much a person could learn from another just based on a few visual traits. He couldn’t help but roll his eyes in both annoyance and fondness, what was that son of his doing? Waiting so long? From Shen Yuan’s stories, it seemed that he got along quite well with Liu Qingge and that they spent quite an amount of time together. Of course, how they should and most likely did feel about Shen Yuan could be left unsaid! So what were they waiting for!?

However, he knew better than to push that far…at least for tonight. Shen Yuan was still rather young and thin-faced, naive, and rather innocent in nature. It would take him some time to grow into such topics without reacting so strongly. He could imagine that his son took after him, based on how Shen Yuan described him, and if that Bai Zhan disciple had lasted so long around his son without losing his sense, then it likely meant he was the same way.

“Very well, Yuan-er.” Tianlang-Jun relented, humming amicably. “This one will not ask anything else, but Yuan-er should still know that this Lord is still rather pleased by this development and that you have my fool support!”

Shen Yuan couldn’t help but chuckle fondly, finding Tianlang-Jun’s attitude rather comforting no matter how annoying. Though he couldn’t help but light a candle in his heart for the father as he thought, then I pray that Tianlang-Jun is also amicable to having over six hundred daughters-in-law! I won’t be on that register you hear? You better get ready to go to a lot of weddings!

A fair punishment for how shameless he was! Truly, it's what he deserved! Shen Yuan convinced himself resolutely, unable to stop the grin that spread across his face at the idea. Want to ask shameless questions about your own son and his relationships? Then be doomed to go to hundreds of his weddings!

“Yuan-er, now that you’ve told me that story, why don’t you tell me another? Have we any new books that we’ve yet to enjoy?”

Shen Yuan couldn’t help but scoff, scurrying over to Xiao Yingzi as he retrieved the talismans and the new book he got from the Qing Jing Library. “Of course, but this time it’s not some crappy romance novel!”

“You’ll love them when you’re older, Yuan-er! It's educational!”

“Educational!? His Majesty has terrible tastes in literature!”

A dramatic gasp came from the trapped heavenly demon, the man whining, “Yuan-er! How could you say something so cruel to your future father-in-law? You should call me father from now on as an apology!”

“What!?”

Chapter Text

“Da-Shijie…” Shen Yuan whined softly, wincing when his Da-Shijie tugged on his hair again, combing it out of its normal style into a tight top bun with a stupidly heavy guan, the rest of his hair combed and oiled to hang off of his shoulders in rippling waves of ink. “Is this…ugh! Necessary?” Screw him! He hadn’t worn his hair up in years! No one ever made him put it up aside from a braid during training! It hurt like hell for his scalp to be tugged on so brutally when he wasn’t used to it!

Ci Liang hummed apologetically, fastening the guan with a jade pin as she checked Shen Yuan’s face. He’d come back from his and Xiao Yingzi’s endurance training early that morning, just as he had promised, and his clothes and hair had been rationally dirty. She and Xia Cheng had all but dragged him to the bathhouse, helping him wash his hair and face before hurrying him out of the hot springs and back to the Omegas shared room.

A head disciple’s robes in Ling Shou weren’t too different from the ones the rest of the disciples wore, sticking to their motto of equality and kinship, but there were a slight few differences. Shen Yuan’s robes were embroidered with blooming lotuses and beasts along the hems and his back. The material was shiny and rich in color, the plum and olive-green likely to stand out compared to the brighter colors of the other peaks, while the gold embroidery blended perfectly with their peak’s colors. There were a few accessories, such as the jade guan now in Shen Yuan’s hair. Still, other than the headpiece, there were only silver cuffs and a welded chain of jade as a collar of sorts that hung low around his throat and over his high collar lapels like a loose collar, a symbol of the luck of second chances amongst their peak.

It’d taken them no time to help him tie the extra layers of his new robes, styling the belt simply with a silver purity bell and his sword’s gradient scabbard. However, his hair had been a different challenge entirely. Xia Cheng normally only braided Shen Yuan’s hair whenever he asked, and the young man only ever wore it down or in a low tail, hardly ever styling it beyond combing it in the morning and oiling it whenever he washed it.

His hair was thick and silky, shiny and healthy, but it was not tame by any standard. Unlike Shen Qingqiu’s hair, which was pin-straight and a dark brown color, Shen Yuan had inherited his A-die’s hair, bouncy and jet-black, thick and now rather hard to manage at its length nearly past his waist. It also didn’t help that Shen Yuan had never grown the durability in his scalp for such hairstyles, so the entire time Ci Liang did his hair, braiding it in small places and rather tightly just to put half of it up in a guan, it had been a rather excruciating experience.

“Forgive your Shijies, Yuan.” Xia Cheng patted his face gently, quickly wiping the small tears that had sprung to his eyes, trying to avoid her own heart cracking at the sight. “We’ll take it down and I’ll braid your hair the moment the meeting is over and you return to Ling Shou.”

Shen Yuan hummed sharply, unable to offer any other response as Ci Liang fastened the final braid. His bangs still framed his face, but since his hair was so thick, part of it needed to be braided to his scalp, which he argued hurt the worst out of everything. Ci Liang hummed softly when she was done, patting Shen Yuan’s shoulder reassuringly.

“Yes, for now, try not to mess with it, the meeting won’t be more than a few hours.” Ci Liang stated, clicking her tongue as Shen Yuan and Xia Cheng followed after her. Thankfully, Shen Yuan could move easily in his new robes, the layers weren’t tight, merely a bit form-fitting for better movement, and the fabric wasn’t thick enough that it weighed him down. As always, it was rather light and airy, open for movement.

“Yuan-shidi!” Song Rong called after them, chasing after them the rest of the way. Ci Liang did not stop her stride and Shen Yuan followed her continuously even as he and Xia Cheng turned their heads to him as he caught up with them. “Are you leaving for the meeting today?”

Shen Yuan nodded, humming softly. He didn’t know what else to say, there had been days back then that his Baba had dragged him to peak lord meetings once he ascended as peak lord, but Shen Yuan had hardly ever paid attention during them. He normally kept to his Baba’s side and tried to ignore his A-die and the rest of the peak lords in the Qiong Ding Hall, normally going straight to Shang Qinghua once it was all over with and his Baba no longer required his attention.

Song Rong chuckled at Shen Yuan’s silence, understanding that his Xiao-Shidi was likely nervous. “Xiao-Shidi will do well today, he will get to meet the other head disciples, and he already has good friends there along with his parents, there is no need to worry!” Song Rong wrapped an arm around his shoulder, chest puffing out pridefully when Shen Yuan smiled at his reassurance, only for that expression to falter and wither as he remembered something. “But Xiao-Shidi should definitely stay away from Qi Qingqi and from the head disciple from Zui Xian; Xin Qingjiu.”

Shen Yuan faltered at that, giving his full attention to his Shixiong as he asked. “What is Shixiong talking about? Why should I avoid them?”

“This Shixiong has heard that Qi Qingqi’s temper can be even worse than Shen Qing–. Ah, worse than any others! Also, I’ve met that Xin Qingjiu, he’s…a strange type.”

Xia Cheng joined in quickly, agreeing with Song Rong, “It’s true, Yuan, this one has heard that Qi Qingqi and the Xian Shu disciples can be utterly ruthless! Likewise, Xin Qingjiu has some weird manners, but everyone on Zui Xian also seems to behave like that. It might be because of all the alcohol they have–.”

“Alright, enough of that, both of you.” Ci Liang cut in, scoffing at her Shidi’s and Shimei’s conversation. “Don’t go filling his head with nonsense, let him make his own decisions and opinions. Also, Song-shidi hasn’t met with Xin Qingjiu in years, how does he know he still behaves strangely?”

Song Rong chuckled humorlessly, rolling his eyes. “Da-Shijie must know that no one can change that much! No matter how much time has passed! He’s a strange character, that’s all I say now.” Xia Cheng hummed affirmatively, crossing her arms behind her back as she whistled softly, Ci Liang scoffing and rolling her eyes at her Shimei and Shidi.

Shen Yuan, however, couldn’t help but feel a bit anxious now. He’d never been close to the other peak lords in the past, he knew them by name and that alone, if they knew of him, they knew him as Shen Qingqiu’s and Yue Qingyuan’s wayward younger brother who was nothing less than a recluse with strange mannerisms. He’d only ever been close with Shang Qinghua, and the peak lords he’d attended in the past had been out of necessity and something he did his best to ignore whenever he was dragged along.

It also didn’t help that PIDW never once went into detail with the other peak lords, only briefly describing them by name and a vague physical description for seven of the twelve peak lords without even naming all twelve peaks! The only ones that actually got any recognition had been Liu Qingge—which even then was rather generous as he was killed off in the very beginning!—Shen Qingqiu, and Yue Qingyuan!

He had no clue how this was going to go!

“Qinglin,” Shen Yuan jumped when he heard his Shizun’s voice, the voice of summer warming his heart in the middle of winter on the snowy path. Xia Cheng and Song Rong both gave their greetings, Ci Liang only bowing her head as she stepped away to allow Hu Lieling to take her place. “Are you ready to leave?”

No! Not anymore! I regret this already!

“Yes, Shizun.” Shen Yuan answered stiffly, as always his expression betraying his words, and Hu Lieling chuckled at the attempt of feigned confidence.

“It is alright if Qinglin is nervous,” she reassured, reaching forward and gently brushing his bangs behind his ear. “This Master will be there to help him, likewise, Qinglin’s parents will be there as well. Qinglin has no need to worry.”

Shen Yuan nodded at her reassurance, following behind her when she whistled softly to signal him. He hadn’t flown much with his sword, but he understood the concept enough that he could sit on his blade and stay close to Hu Lieling, who reached down and held his hand the entire time, flying at his side as she stood on her blade, making sure Shen Yuan stayed balanced.

Qiong Ding always smelled like mountains and soil, with thick redwoods growing around the buildings. When they landed, there were a few disciples to greet them, Shen Yuan bowed his head respectfully as he followed behind his Shizun, but otherwise said nothing. He knew Qiong Ding well, having stayed on the peak a few times with his A-die during the nights he was feeling especially clingy and his Baba would stay the night as well.

“Go speak with the other head disciples,” Hu Lieling ordered gently, patting his jaw encouragingly as he turned his face to her, his expression clear with worry. “Do not fear them, Yuan. They are your allies and martial siblings, you have your parents and Shang Qinghua to help you as well, and Liu Qingge, yes? You two have grown closer lately, yes?”

Shen Yuan couldn’t help but flush slightly at her words, clearing his throat as he nodded. “This one understands, Shizun. He will try his best.” He didn’t need Hu Lieling to say anything else!

Hu Lieling hummed encouragingly, walking him up the stairs before encouraging him off to the corridor where the head disciples conversed amongst themselves before the meeting until the peak lords were ready. Shen Yuan made sure to walk slowly once he was away from Hu Lieling, allowing the energies around him to converse before splitting apart, separating until there were distinct lines, each a living thing, some he recognized, and others he didn’t.

“A-Yuan,” Shen Qingqiu called out to him, footsteps echoing along the marble floor while Shen Yuan smiled with confidence and reassurance once his Baba’s hand cupped his cheek. The fingers of a scholar carefully combed through his hair, humming at the sight of his hair. “She was too harsh on your scalp.” Shen Qingqiu hissed with disdain, immediately critiquing Ci Liang’s hard work while Shen Yuan chuckled softly.

I doubt you could’ve done much better, Baba! He however would not be saying that, thank you very much! He valued not angering his Baba that much!

“Da-Shijie did her best,” Shen Yuan countered, smiling as his Baba only hummed flatly, clearly rolling his eyes.

“A-Yuan,” Yue Qingyuan called gently, tone coaxing and reassuring as he said. “Come introduce yourself.”

Shen Qingqiu scoffed softly, clearly as anti-social as Shen Yuan, but not willing to cause a scene, he led Shen Yuan over to the rest of the group. He felt somewhat at ease now that he was at his parents' sides, Yue Qingyuan’s arm wrapping around his shoulder warmly, displaying him with pride. “This is Shen Qinglin, mine and Qingqiu-shidi’s son.”

“Your son!?” A woman’s voice screeched and Shen Yuan was easily able to identify such a voice as Qi Qingqi. “You and Shen Qingqiu–!? How–?! When!?”

Shang Qinghua laughed off to the side, easily taking toward Shen Yuan as he grinned at the shocked expression of his martial siblings aside from a few. “Shimei is quite behind,” he chuckled, vying off nervously once Qi Qingqi glared at him. “Don’t take it personally, Shimei! It’s still a new development!”

“What does Shang-shidi mean?” Wei Qingwei asked, the Wan Jian head disciple raising a brow at Shang Qinghua before turning to Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu with a bemused expression, eyes glinting with mischievous curiosity. “This one isn’t all that surprised, however, Yue-shixiong and Shen-shixiong did always seem a little more protective than normal, and Qinglin-shidi does look like the perfect mixture.”

Shen Yuan nodded nervously, was he supposed to explain it? Or would–. “Say less like you’re uncovering a scandal.” Shen Qingqiu hissed, and Shen Yuan’s question was answered for him. “It was a discovery for us as well. Our son was born of different means in comparison to the natural ways, but he is still biologically ours and entirely human. Do not speak of him as if it’s a harmless mystery for you to solve.”

Wei Qingwei chuckled at Shen Qingqiu’s tone, raising his hands in surrender. “This one would never, Shen-shixiong.” He turned to Shen Yuan then, smiling before flinching when he saw the cloudy eyes that stared straight through him, realizing that his welcoming expression was rather pointless. “This one was merely curious. This Qingwei is happy to welcome Qinglin-shidi, please don’t be as crappy as your Baba.”

Shen Qingqiu threw him a glare that Wei Qingwei only laughed at, however, Qi Qingqi couldn’t help but raise her brow at Shen Yuan, studying him for a moment. “Why have we never heard of him, hm? I thought you two only had a brother?”

“We did believe him to be our brother for some time,” Yue Qingyuan explained. “We thought we found him as a babe and chose to raise him as our brother. But with some recent developments, we’ve come to realize he is our biological son.”

Qi Qingqi hummed sharply, eyeing Shen Qingqiu and Yue Qingyuan suspiciously. “That is a rather extreme development to be revealed so randomly.”

Shen Yuan noted her tone, finding it to be rather condescending, he smiled mildly as he said. “Shijie, please be understanding. This one truly was born of…mystical means, things that my A-die and Baba couldn’t have guessed or known about at their age, and it still is something that can’t be entirely understood.”

Before Qi Qingqi could get a word in, Liu Qingge cut in sharply. “We were there, as was Mu-shidi, Qi-Shijie. Don’t be quick to assume.” There wasn’t much left to be said. It was rare that Liu Qingge spoke up during these kinds of discussions, so the fact that he spoke up now, even in defense of Shen Qingqiu, likely meant that this was not a conversation meant to be held for very long. Especially since Mu Qingfang nodded in agreement the moment the Bai Zhan Head Disciple spoke.

Qi Qingqi grunted, turning her attention to Liu Qingge as she asked. “Then what is Liu-shidi’s excuse? Why did he bring his Shidi along?”

His Shidi? Shen Yuan focused in Liu Qingge’s direction, immediately finding that familiar person. “Binghe-shixiong?”

“Ah, it seems this one can’t hide from Yuan-shidi for long!” Luo Binghe laughed, stepping closer to Liu Qingge’s side rather than behind him while the older rolled his eyes, grunting.

Shen Qingqiu groaned at the very sound of his voice, trying to gently steer Shen Yuan’s attention away from the Bai Zhan disciple, but Shen Yuan was already too focused. “Why did Binghe-shixiong come along?”

Luo Binghe grinned when he saw Shen Qingqiu glare, taking his chance as he purposefully stepped closer to Shen Yuan, all but leaning into his and Shen Qingqiu’s personal space as he cajoled. “This one wanted to spend time with Yuan-shidi today! Shidi has been neglectful to his Shixiongs lately, what of our poor hearts?” It had been two days exactly since they last spent time together, but he was taking it all too personally!

“Shut up you shameless brat!” Liu Qingge growled, stomping forward to shove Luo Binghe while the younger quickly evaded, chuckling at his Shixiong’s annoyance. “You just can’t be trusted alone! You damn near started a brawl again!”

“Binghe-shixiong!” Shen Yuan scolded, earning Luo Binghe whining.

“Why is Yuan-shidi so quick to believe Qingge?” Luo Binghe whined, feigning hurt as he glared at Liu Qingge who glared back at him. “What of your poor Shixiong? Will you be so quick to throw him aside if someone said to? How could you hurt this one’s heart so gravely?”

What a drama king! Just like your father, Luo Binghe!

“Binghe-shixiong is too dramatic and Qingge-shixiong is too rash.” He scoffed, reaching out to swat Luo Binghe’s shoulder chidingly, earning a few shocked looks in response.

This brat that had been dragged in by Liu Qingge had been practically brawling with the Bai Zhan Peak Head Disciple the entire time until Shen Yuan arrived! The two were throwing hits like it was natural as they growled and shouted at each other! Both of them were somewhat bloody, if not a little disheveled, and not a single one of the other head disciples aside from Yue Qingyuan had dared to try to break them up. But this little thing so easily scolded both of them!?

“Binghe-shixiong shouldn’t start fights too quickly, and Qingge-shixiong shouldn’t keep picking the fight if it’s not worth it.” Shen Yuan chided. A few of the head disciples awaited the practical response of Liu Qingge, knowing the young man to not be one who would be scolded by anyone so easily. Instead, neither of the Bai Zhan disciples said a thing! Both of them merely grumbled under their breaths as one glared in the opposite direction with mild annoyance as the other pouted visibly.

What the hell was this!?

“It’s not my fault that he’s an idiot.” Liu Qingge growled, shoving Luo Binghe slightly. “If he can’t be trusted alone, what do you expect me to do?”

“Shut up you wannabe sea-slug.”

“I’ll break your legs you brattish mutt.”

Shen Yuan huffed at their threats, already knowing it was all talk—somewhat—however the other head disciples all watched with either bemused expressions or sheer dumbfounded anticipation. Not only was this Bai Zhan disciple a beast that Liu Qingge dragged along a whole different level of character that even rivaled the upcoming war god himself, but this new little martial brother of theirs was able to speak to both of them in such a confident way that left both of them pouting and nagging at each other!?

Qi Qingqi couldn’t help but snicker at Liu Qingge’s expression, reveling at the sight of her audacious Shidi limited to nothing but pouting and empty threats towards this little beast he dragged along without even so much as a sneer in the direction of her new Xiao-Shidi. “This one thinks Qinglin-shidi is right,” she stepped a bit closer, ignoring the glare from Liu Qingge. Oh, this would be a treat for her! “He should tell off the brutes more often, one mustn’t be too lenient.”

Shen Yuan couldn’t help but gape in her direction, what was this!? Wasn’t she just suspicious of him? What happened to that attitude his Shijie and Shixiong had warned him about? However, despite Shen Yuan’s confusion, Shen Qingqiu laughed sharply at Qi Qingqi’s statement. “A-Yuan should listen to his Shijie, hasn’t Baba told you the same?”

Double cross!? Betrayal!? Shen Yuan was flabbergasted, since when did his Baba side with anyone!? Why was he adding fuel to the fire!?

Despite his best attempts to keep a level expression, as always, Shen Yuan’s countenance betrayed him. Leaving a youthful yet scornful scowl on his face that bore no real heat. A strange yet delightful mixture of Shen Qingqiu’s natural cold yet beautiful demeanor with the natural warmth of the Qiong Ding Head Disciple that left any futile attempt at a cold expression futile.

He truly is their son…So cute!

Yue Qingyuan chuckled softly, saving his son from both the Baba’s and the Shijie’s teasing and influence with a gentle hand, leading him to his side as his arm wrapped around Shen Yuan’s shoulder and hand rested underneath his jaw. A familiar and parental hold that was commonly accustomed for younger children as a way to calm them, but this Shidi of theirs clearly was the youngest amongst them, aside from this Luo Binghe character, so why would they stop Yue Qingyuan from soothing his own son?

They’d likely face a man they never even knew if they did! Look at that expression on his face! Pure fatherly protectiveness! It was him basically saying, “I’m not afraid to kill anyone here for my son!” Even Shen Qingqiu was smiling slightly as he glanced at the sight!

“Let us not encourage fighting with Qinglin-shidi, Qi-shijie.” A new voice spoke up, and Shen Yuan noted the rather grim state of his voice and demeanor, likely leaving a stern expression on his face. “This Jiong Qingshi is, however, pleased to welcome Qinglin-shidi. Ku Xing has always been close allies due to similar peak structure.”

Jiong Qingshi? Ku Xing? Oh, that’s right. The peak of monks, the all-male peak. Ku Xing was even more reclusive than Ling Shou, its disciples seldom even left the peak due to the practice of avoiding all worldly matters. Shen Yuan nodded respectively at the head disciple, it felt a little strange to be spoken to so directly by someone he wasn’t entirely familiar with and whose energy was still a bit of a mystery to him, but he didn’t make a fuss of it.

Qi Qingqi rolled her eyes at Jiong Qingshi, crossing her arms as she rebuttled. “It’s not teaching him to fight, it’s teaching him to not let brutes undermine him.”

“Shut up,” Liu Qingge growled, ignoring the growl he received in return from his Shijie. “Yuan won’t listen to you anyway.”

Luo Binghe chuckled at the statement, nodding slightly. “It’s true, he won’t even listen to us.”

“Your ideas aren’t always that good!” Shen Yuan exclaimed, huffily pushing himself further into his father’s side for good measure. What the hell was this!? Why was he getting ganged up on!? “You two always just want to fight it out!”

“It’s an effective method, Yuan-shidi!” Luo Binghe chuckled, leaning forward so he could see what was visible of his Shidi’s expression. “This one and Qingge just need to teach you a little more and you’ll agree!”

“Back away, beast.” Shen Qingqiu growled, earning a shit-eating grin from Luo Binghe that did not withhold even an ounce of the ire he held for the Qing Jing Peak Head Disciple, the fangs of his canines glinting menacingly as the starpools of his eyes bore a predatory gleam.

What an audacious little beast! Liu Qingge wasn’t even trying to stop him!?

A slurred laugh came from the group of disciples, the lanky man gently pulling Shang Qinghua aside so he could stand a bit more visibly amongst the circle as he’d been leaning against the far wall only moments ago, raising a bottle of sealed wine. “Now, now, what’s with all that?” He smiled lazily, earning a few chuckles in response from the rest of his martial siblings. “Why don’t we all have a drink, yes? What better way to welcome, Qinglin-shidi? Would Luo Binghe like any as well?”

A few cheered in agreement, specifically Wei Qingwei as the bulky man wrapped an arm around the Zui Xian Head Disciple’s shoulders. “Yes, let's! Qinglin-shidi, what wine do you drink? Luo Binghe, I take it you drink something strong like Liu-shidi?”

Luo Binghe grunted softly, alcohol had never affected him before. He could drink the strongest of wines and he wouldn’t feel even a buzz, the perks of being a heavenly demon he supposed. “Try your strongest, it won't have any effect.”

“Oh~ A brave one! Just like Liu Qingge!” The man laughed, poking Liu Qingge’s shoulder playfully while the young man slapped his hand away immediately. “This Qingjiu suspects that Qinglin-shidi would prefer something milder in comparison?”

“I don’t drink.” Shen Yuan answered heartfully, entirely honest as he turned in the direction of the Zui Xian disciple. This was the one his Shixiong warned him about! Xin Qingjiu! But he didn’t seem all that bad. “Ling Shou doesn’t serve wine often.”

Shen Qingqiu nodded affirmatively, a proud and mild smirk playing on his lips while Xin Qingjiu only laughed at Shen Yuan’s statement. “Ah, you know your Baba said something similar! But this one got him to drink anyway, why doesn’t Qinglin-shidi try something sweet?”

“There really is no need,” Yue Qingyuan raised his hand dismissively, smiling passively at the younger man, but the alcoholic disciple rather ignored him as he reached into his sleeves, pulling out another bottle from his qiankun pouch. “...Xin-shidi.”

“That’s really not a good idea,” Shang Qinghua laughed at the Zui Xian disciple, trodding forward until he was practically leaning on Shen Yuan and slightly on Yue Qingyuan, not that the older man minded much, even nodding welcomingly at the An Ding Peak Head Disciple. “Qinglin cannot handle his alcohol.”

Shen Yuan rebutted quickly. “You're one to talk! You turn into a babbling buffoon when you get drunk!”

Shang Qinghua gasped offendedly, poking Shen Yuan until the younger reared forward, lunging at him while Shang Qinghua squealed playfully, excited to see his Shidi so riled up! “Qingling is mean to me! What a mean wife!”

“Bad husband!” Shen Yuan hissed, catching the An Ding disciple and holding him down by his shoulders as Shang Qinghua squealed in defeat, laughing at Shen Yuan’s pissed-off expression. “You always talk too much!”

“One of us has to! You act like a mute!”

“Because I’m trying not to lose my patience with you!”

“You love me!” Shang Qinghua retorted, reaching up to poke Shen Yuan’s jaw while the younger swatted at his hand, still forcing the An Ding disciple to hunch over from the hold around his shoulders. “Admit it!”

“Admit what?” Shen Yuan hissed, squeezing the older Omega harder while Shang Qinghua squawked indignantly. “It’s hardly tolerance! Who would say I love you?!”

“I would, wife!”

“Shut up, husband!”

Wife!? Husband!? What did they miss!?

Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu stared at both Shen Yuan and Shang Qinghua with a mixture of shocked and slightly panicked expressions. Had their son…no, no he wouldn’t! At least not without telling them! Or asking for permission! He was still so young! And to Shang Qinghua of all people?! Yes, they had heard of two Omegas wedding each other before, just as they themselves were two Alphas, but…their A-Yuan wouldn’t do such a thing without telling them! What the hell was going on?!

However, to the left of the slightly panicked parents, two disciples especially glared with a flurry of both panic and contempt. Wife!? Husband!? The nerve!? When the hell had those two– They were his soulmates! What the fuck happened that he would willingly marry Shang Qinghua of all people!? They were right here!

However, a boisterous laugh came from the crowd, far more entertained by the squabble than shocked. The slight man coming forward to free Shang Qinghua from Shen Yuan as he patted both of their shoulders encouragingly, behaving as a big brother would as he asked, “Can this Qinggui ask exactly what Qinlin-shixiong and Qinghua-shixiong are speaking of? This is a rather strange development if I must say.”

Ah, Ping Qinggui, the head disciple of Xinling Ji!

Oh.

Oh shit. They had said all of that aloud! And in front of everyone!

Shang Qinghua seemed to have the same revelation as him, coughing sheepishly as he smiled jokingly. “Ah, of course! This one and Qinglin-shidi have been friends for a really long time now, and we, uhm…” He looked over at Shen Yuan, praying his friend could sense his loss. He didn’t know what to say! How were they supposed to play this off!?

“We just say we’re married because–. We, uhm, haven’t decided if we actually want to marry anyone else in complete truth!” Shen Yuan added quickly, stumbling over his words as he looked down at his feet, hoping his bullshitting wasn’t as clear on his face as it likely was in his tone. He technically wasn’t lying! He had just never explained it before! “Qinghua and I decided to…platonically marry. Just…not officially? It’s truly only in name alone.”

There were a few laughs, some hums of agreement, and more than a few sighs of relief. Shen Qingqiu stepped forward then, glaring at Shang Qinghua as the younger chuckled nervously and slid behind Shen Yuan for protection. “What a strange thing, A-Yuan. When did this occur? You also spoke of Shang-shidi…speaking as a buffoon when he is drunk?”

Damn, his Baba and actually paying attention to what he said!

“Ahem, yes.” He tried not to fidget nervously, but he could feel Shen Qingqiu’s eyes literally boring through him! Likely reading into every movement and every stutter like the maniac he was! “Shizun had served some wine once when Qinghua was helping me refine the book-speaking talisman, and he drank a few glasses since I didn’t want any, and we learned that he shoots off at the mouth when drunk.”

“Hey! You could at least say it nicer!”

“That was me saying it nicely!”

Shen Qingqiu hummed understandingly. “I see, very well, then there is no trouble with it. I prefer this over anyone else.” Wait…was his Baba…encouraging their pseudo marriage!?

Shang Qinghua was just as shocked as him, the older man leaning on his friend’s shoulder as the two shared both hushed whispers and a sense of understanding between shock and relief. Would he have been as forgiving of this back then!? Did they not have to sneak around all this time!? Damn it!

“A book speaking talisman?” Came the voice from his side. Light and airy, yet rather inquisitive. Shen Yuan and Shang Qinghua both turned toward the voice, the older whispering both a familiar and distant name that hardly procured even an image aside from the bloody corpse he had carried into the ancestral hall to lay to rest. Yan Qingpu. “How interesting, Qinglin-shixiong. That’s rather innovative.”

Shen Yuan hummed softly, reaching into his sleeve to retrieve one of the talismans and hand it off to the older woman. Yan Qingpu took it gratefully, humming as she looked it over. “Truly made of fine detail, this one could have a few more copied and made for Qinglin-shixiong then, so he won’t have to rewrite them all on his own.”

“Thank you,” Shen Yuan nodded gratefully. It would honestly help him a bit, it was somewhat of a hassle for both he and Shang Qinghua to have to copy one of their old ones whenever they were running low. “It’s very appreciated.”

“Shidi, Shimei,” Yue Qingyuan called gently, breaking up the conversation. “The meeting is starting promptly.” Naturally, he came forward to lead Shen Yuan by hand into the meeting hall, Shang Qinghua following at his side until the two broke off when Yue Qingyuan veered to the right side of the table and left him in his Shizun’s care. The woman grinned at Yue Qingyuan as he left before taking Shen Yuan’s hand and leading him to sit at her side.

“How was meeting with your martial brothers and sisters?”

“It was nice, Shizun.” Shen Yuan whispered carefully, hearing a few of the other head disciples speak to their Shizuns as well. Especially Mu Qingfang who was closer to him than the others speaking with Shan Lielin and Wu Liegang either teasing or threatening both of his disciples. He really couldn’t tell which it was.

Hu Lieling smiled, relieved to hear it hadn’t been some sort of traumatizing experience for him. Not that she had doubted both Shen Qingqiu and Yue Qingyuan would have created a problem if it had been, or that Liu Qingge even started a brawl.

“This Shizun is happy to hear that,” she reached out, smoothing out his bangs as she hummed at the guan in his hair. With his hair up, he looked…older. Not in a mature way somehow, but almost in a…tired fashion. As if life itself had decided to take that youthful glow from his person that never failed to make her smile in relief. As if another person was sitting next to her entirely, far less welcoming, tired, hurt, foreign. She didn’t quite like it. “Yuan, please scoot a little closer to me.”

Shen Yuan did as told, shuffling closer on his placemat until Hu Lieling was able to easily get her hands on the guan, easily freeing it and the top knot from Shen Yuan’s hair as the young man startled slightly. “Shizun…Da-Shijie worked hard on that…”

“This one understands, Yuan.” She smoothed out his hair, letting it fall down his shoulders, keeping the many braids in his hair to hold it out of his face, but otherwise leaving it as is. “This Shizun merely…prefers it when Yuan wears his hair down. He looks for more…comfortable.”

Shen Yuan paused, surprised that his Shizun could have guessed such a thing, but otherwise said nothing else and settled at her side. “Thank you, Shizun.”

“Wear your hair however you like,” Hu Lieling whispered gently, a voice of summer against the flower born of the mountain and of autumn. “This Shizun merely enjoys Yuan wearing his hair as he likes. He doesn’t have to wear it any differently to these meetings if he doesn’t wish to.”

Shen Yuan couldn’t help but smile in relief. He hadn’t fought his Shijies about his hair because he hadn’t wanted to cause any trouble, but the entire time, as his hair was being braided and pulled into the top knot, he had felt a sense of dread.

All his life back then, when he had come to Cang Qiong, he’d worn his hair up. Tight and unforgiving, he’d brush out clumps some days because of how harsh he was with his hair. He learned quickly that he looked older with his hair up, colder, and more refined, someone that people wouldn’t approach as easily. With his hair held up so tightly, it somehow took away parts of his features, making him appear haughty and unapproachable.

Back then, he’d done it purposefully as a way to keep his hair from getting yanked and pulled whenever his peak siblings used to bully him, but also as a way to hide himself. He didn’t enjoy that he bore any resemblance to the natural gentleness of most Omegas, that he was predestined to appear gentle, soft, and welcoming. He wanted to appear unwelcoming, hard, ragged. He wanted to be left alone, to be seen as unapproachable so he wouldn’t be hurt again.

He’d done it because the first time he had seen his parents back then after so many years of separation, the first thing his Baba had done was grab his hair and run it through his fingers. And that alone terrified him in more ways than he would ever feel comfortable approaching and thinking about.

So now, to wear it in the same way he had back then, the way he had when he’d been that awful and heartless person. It brought forth memories he couldn’t bear to watch. He’d closed his eyes as his Shijies did his hair, willing away the pain of the memories and passing off the tears as the pain from his scalp.

With his hair down, he knew he looked more like his A-die. That his face didn’t seem as sharp, that his eyes didn’t seem as cold, and that he didn’t appear so unapproachable. His Baba was beautiful, truly born to be an immortal. But he was not. He inherited his features, but he could not wear them in the same way his Baba could. Where his Baba could wear even the most haughty of robes and the most expensive hair pieces, with even the barest grace of a smile, he appeared gentle. He appeared beautiful, an immortal given to the earth as a blessing of the highest caliber, a man who could rival a god.

There was no envy there, he knew he didn’t feel a thing, but he’d come to realize, even without his sight, that he’d taken after his A-die in more ways than one. Without the garments of a future sect leader, without the extravagant robes and expensive hair pieces, his A-die looked friendly and welcoming, warm and gentle. But with such pieces upon his person, he looked like a mountain. He appeared unobtainable, unreachable, someone to be respected and yet feared. Even with a smile, there was no denying the underlying power beneath even a single finger of his.

It had been both a blessing and a curse when he realized he inherited such ability from his A-die.

As the meeting began, Shen Yuan paid closer attention. His scalp didn’t ache anymore, and it felt comforting to feel his hair brush against his cheek every now and again, only for his Shizun to hum softly and play with the offending strand herself as they both listened, neither speaking over anyone or adding to the conversation.

That is until the sect leader spoke up.

“Would Hu-shimei like to introduce her little prodigy?” He didn’t like the sect leader’s voice. The woman spoke too calmly, too proudly, too confidently for someone who had locked his A-die in the Lingxi Caves for over a year, for someone who had broken every single one of his tendons and bones, leaving him a husk in that cave, leaving him to lose his sanity as he fought desperately to make it back in time to his mate and child.

He didn’t like her. She had hurt his A-die too much, had left too many scars on his person, had left too many scars on his heart and soul for him to ever forgive her.

So even as Hu Lieling hummed softly and stood to her feet, offering her hand to Shen Yuan to take and stand at her side, Shen Yuan glowered in the sect leader’s direction, uncaring of the contempt on his face. Let them see how he felt. Disturb his Baba’s peace, harm his A-die, see how he would treat you, see how he would despise you.

Hu Lieling whistled softly, a familiar call to him, and he responded in kind to her, but only to her. “This one is Shen Qinglin,” he bowed at the waist, being sure that he was not directed toward the sect leader in the slightest. “Head Disciple of Ling Shou and son of Shen Qingqiu and Yue Qingyuan.” Only then did he turn to the sect leader, allowing his contempt to roll off his person in waves.

If there was one thing he inherited from both of his parents, it was the ability to hold a grudge. Cross him once, shame on him, cross him twice, shame on you, but cross those he loved, prepare to face a wrath unknown even by the heavens.

Two wrongs did not make a right, and he demanded to be living proof of that at that very moment.

Hu Lieling sensed his ire, she saw the glower on his face, the darkened shadow of his eyes that left cloudy jade stormy and dark like the skies of sorrow. She did not intervene, she did not signal him, and she did not attempt to soothe him. Her disciple was level-headed, mature beyond his years, a young man who would grow to lead Ling Shou with a level nature and welcoming heart. If his ire was earned, it was no one else’s fault but the person responsible.

She had very little care if it was for the sect leader or not. She was more than capable, she would protect her disciple if the moment came, and she had very little doubt his parents and friends wouldn’t do the same.

The sect leader seemed as surprised as everyone else at the sudden shift of the young man who had made such a positive influence and first impression. Surprised that a young man who looked gentle and kind could emit such a fierce sense of contempt, and even with the state of his eyes, bore through the very woman who sat at the head of the table.

Most would fear for this young man, fear that he’d be slain in a moment, but most could only stand to watch as Shen Qingqiu procured a fan from his sleeve, edged with knives and sharp points, and as Yue Qingyuan shifted slightly in his seat, a hand resting on Xuan Su’s hilt.

A kitten with the parents of a huli jing and a lion.

The sect leader, however, seemed unaffected, smiling at Shen Yuan as she said. “Truly? Isn’t that interesting?” She was rather intrigued to see such a slight young man stand to her with such ire. Open and without even a trace of hidden intention, he was honest and willing with his contempt. She couldn’t help but find it admirable. It was hard to find people in this world who did not hide behind a mask often enough that it became a part of their person. “This one wasn’t aware that my disciple even had a son.”

“Yes, well, perhaps we all could have figured it out sooner if you hadn’t imprisoned him.” The gasps that rang out didn’t startle him. Nor did the slide of the placemat where the sect leader sat as she stood to look at him.

A hand fell onto his shoulder, and Shen Yuan could feel the dare of his Shizun’s glare, predatory eyes boring into her martial sister. Daring the sect leader to take another step forward. “Could Shen Qinglin repeat that? This one must have misheard.” Her voice was like honey. Sickly sweet and it made Shen Yuan want to gag.

“If Zhangmen-shibo has forgotten, then this one can remind her.” Shen Yuan couldn’t help but smile. He felt sick, his stomach twisted and his lungs constricted. If this woman truly had forgotten what she had done, then may the heavens forgive Shen Yuan for what he would do. “Does she remember the year my A-die was absent? Where no one had heard or seen of him? When his qi deviations were severe enough that Shan-shibo should have been addressed immediately? Or does she only remember locking him in the Lingxi Caves when he had begged her for help to find his missing mate?”

The silence that fell was deadly, and Hu Lieling especially felt an ire she hadn’t felt in years rise in her heart. “Yuan,” she whispered, not an attempt to silence him or a plea for him to sit down. But a question, silent and expecting. He answered her with a simple nod, and she immediately wrapped her arm around her disciple, daring her Shijie to make a move.

However, the sect leader didn’t even stop smiling, even daring to laugh. “What a bold little one.” She seemed genuinely intrigued! Even happy!? The rest of the peak lords couldn’t help but stare in shock. This young man had just revealed a truth they hadn’t even known about and their Shijie was just smiling!? “This one can see where you have inherited your wit, just the same as I can see where you inherited your ire. Even blind you have your father’s eyes.”

Unable to bear it. Yue Qingyuan stood from his Shizun’s side, offering not an apology or even a single word to her as he traveled across the room within an instant and took to his A-Yuan’s side. Hugging the young man close while Shen Yuan wrapped his arms around him, whispering only, “I’m sorry, A-die.”

“I love you, A-Yuan.” Was all he whispered back.

The sect leader hummed softly at the sight, waving her hand as she said. “There is nothing else of importance to be said I suppose, if the disciples would like, they may leave early.” If her grin turned a bit too wide, no one said a word, but a few pairs of eyes especially narrowed at the sight. “There is no point in starting a real fight, now is there?”

It was a warning of any nature. Calm and collected, but a warning nonetheless, a warning that even if Shen Yuan damned her from the bottom of the ten courts of Yanluo to even the peak of the heavens, it would mean nothing, as he could not fight her.

It was infuriating just as it was gratifying to know that instead of rebuking him, the sect leader could only resort to threats of fighting rather than using her wit to defend her honor.

Every head disciple stood from their seat, some glaring at the sect leader, and others immediately grouped together to talk. Though Shen Yuan waited especially until it was only his A-die and he who stood in front of her. He bowed at the waist to her, hissing, “This one thanks, Zhangmen-shibo for her hospitality.” With that, they left.

Yue Qingyuan let Shen Yuan break away when he was ready, giving him and Shen Qingqiu the moment to speak alone. Though Shen Yuan immediately went over to the familiar figures closer to him. Luo Binghe was the first to reach out, the first to grab his hand as he asked. “Is Yuan-shidi alright?”

“This one is fine.” He shrugged. He couldn’t help but grin. “I’m just happy I could say that to her.”

Liu Qingge hummed softly, glaring in the direction of the ancestral hall. “A scum never changes.”

“Don’t say that, Qingge-shixiong.” Shen Yuan murmured, pursing his lips as he sighed. “People can surprise you. I don’t hate as many people as I used to, because of the changes they and I have made.”

It was strange to realize now, to realize that he once hated his own soulmates. Even if that hatred was born from contempt he didn’t have, born from a poison he couldn’t even remember at the time, and born from circumstances beyond their control.

He had once hated both of them, the thought of either of them leaving a sour taste in his mouth. But someone truly couldn’t hate someone without loving them first, right? He didn’t hate the sect leader, as he had never once loved her, but he despised her actions. He loathed her actions and her attitude, but he didn’t hate her person. For she was not someone he ever loved to hate in the first place.

Hatred is the turmoil of love suppressed, a path that had no third. To choose one was to choose fate. He didn’t hate or love the sect leader, but he despised her actions. However, he would turn away from that path, he would not love or hate without reason.

If he loved, it was with all his heart, it was because he knew he would be willing to do whatever it took for that love. He would not love carelessly, and he could not love without reason.

If he hated, it was with all his soul, it was because that love he had wasn’t gone, but merely changed. Morphed into something darker, sickly, and contemptuous. He would not hate without a final try, he would not hate those he loved ever again, even if it hurt him, he’d love them until he had no choice.

Luo Binghe’s ire rose in his heart, but he said nothing more. There were many things he was still learning about his once Shifu and of the past that he and his once Shizun shared. The contempt he felt was not entirely for the sect leader or the past, but perhaps for the possibilities. The hatred of fate and the dominos that fell from each move.

If the sect leader never imprisoned Yue Qingyuan, and the man had been able to make it to Shen Qingqiu before, how would have it all changed? Would things have been better back then? Would his Shifu not have been put through such torture? Would he not have had to suffer by the cruel hand of a disheartened Shizun and the gentle but harrowing presence of a silently dying Shifu?

In the end, what could he have changed? What could have changed if the world wasn’t so cruel? What would have life been like if a butterfly hadn’t flapped its wings? What would have happened if his Yuan-shidi had not come to Cang Qiong after all? What would have happened in this life if he had gone to Qing Jing Peak instead?

What would his life have been like if his soulmates had not been in it at all?

Chapter Text

"What are you both so grumpy about?" Shen Yuan huffed; weedling through the thick foliage, hoping not to scratch up his robes. As a freshly evoked head disciple, he was duty-bound to go from each peak to the next and formally introduce himself individually to each head disciple and peak lord as a show of kinship between peaks and martial siblings.

He'd gone to Chuang Zao, Xinling Ji, Zui Xian, Ku Xing, and Qian Cao Peak already as they were the closest to Ling Shou and he'd only just made it through Bai Zhan. Such introduction was rather pointless, but it had given him the chance to formally meet the Bai Zhan Peak Lord; Wu Liegang, a man that Shen Yuan personally couldn't tell if he liked or not. He was stupidly tall and very loud, while he had greeted Shen Yuan like an old friend and damn near cracked his ribs from the bear hug he received, it was a tad bit overwhelming.

The visit was brief, purely a greeting to the peak lord and a quick greeting to Liu Qingge before he took his leave. Only now, he was being tailed by two equally grumpy Bai Zhan disciples who wouldn't even tell him why!

Luo Binghe followed close behind him, Liu Qingge somehow having gotten in front of him, but neither was actually speaking! But he could hear their pouting! What was this? Following him and sticking to his side but not actually speaking? Like a pouting child trying to guilt trip their mother to buy candy at the market!

He was a little thankful he hadn't brought Xiao Yingzi now, his steed would've not appreciated the Bai Zhan disciples' presence and likely would have caused a scene. Then he'd have three drama kings to worry about!

When no one answered him, Shen Yuan scoffed and asked again. "What's with both of you, huh? You can't just follow after me and not actually tell me why you're pouting!"

"Who said we're pouting?" Liu Qingge scoffed, earning a pinch on his neck from Shen Yuan. The older head disciple grunted and turned his head to look at Shen Yuan, who stuck his tongue out at him. "We're just walking in the same direction."

You're bad liars! Shen Yuan thought bitterly, though even when he turned his head to Luo Binghe, hoping at least he'd been willing to give some explanation, the youth merely hummed sharply and said nothing! Oh, screw this.

Once they made it past the thicket of foliage on the path, crossing onto the rainbow bridge, Shen Yuan made a quick sprint forward past Liu Qingge before whistling sharply. Hui Qu flew from the gradient sheath and hovered before him, allowing him to jump on before speeding off. Shen Yuan made sure to keep a tight grip on the hilt as he flew, he technically wasn't supposed to fly on his own yet, but he'd gotten better! He just preferred to sit rather than to stand.

However, that didn't last long before another hand grabbed the hilt over his and pulled him in closer until his feet brushed against a pair of thick and muscled thighs. "What are you doing?!" Luo Binghe screeched, reaching out further to grab Shen Yuan's hand and pull him onto Zheng Yang with him. "You're not supposed to fly alone yet!"

Shen Yuan couldn't help but laugh at the tone. It was rather funny to hear Luo Binghe fuss and worry over things, back then, the disciple he'd taken never worried much in front of him. His disciple had always tried to keep a strong tone and an even stronger exterior. Never letting himself break or worry, hardly ever raising his voice, and practically playing soldier in front of him.

He couldn't blame Luo Binghe back then, his Shifu had been a cold and unapproachable man, heartless and cruel, how could he bear to act freely without fear? But now, this Luo Binghe, his Shixiong, was rather open and honest. Loud at times, and dramatic at others, but he seemed far more honest. Far more alive, like an actual person, and not the facade of perfection he always tried to put up around him.

Shen Yuan found he much preferred this Luo Binghe, he much preferred this dynamic.

Luo Binghe, however, didn't take the bout of laughter well, sneering as he actually grabbed Shen Yuan's hand and tried to pull him onto Zheng Yang. Unfortunately for him, however, Shen Yuan had yet to receive a proper answer, and he was anything if not stubborn. So, with only a smirk, and the knowledge that Liu Qingge was likely flying closer below him just in case, Shen Yuan whistled softly and Hui Qu tipped on its side.

He heard the startled and near horrified screech from Luo Binghe and the less than composed shout from Liu Qingge as he took the pencil dive towards the ground. Of course, not one to become a pancake, he whistled with a fine tune, and Hui Qu immediately swept out from under his feet, reestablishing his footing before dropping him off on the ground again.

Hui Qu returned to its sheath without hesitation, allowing Shen Yuan to walk on his own for a moment until he heard the pounding footsteps from behind him. Oh, but now, it was a game, and he wasn't one to lose! So, before they could catch up, Shen Yuan used his qinggong and jumped into the trees, traveling through the leaves and on the branches, out of sight as he listened closely.

"Yuan!"

"Yuan-shidi!"

Alright, they both sounded aggravated enough. Decidedly, he stopped, allowing himself to stay perched on one of the thicker branches of the tree as he listened out for the approaching footsteps, a little delighted when he heard them stop in front of his tree. They were quite good trackers, he had to give them that, but what else would be expected of the top two disciples of Bai Zhan Peak?

"Out of the tree, Yuan." Liu Qingge ordered gruffly, looking up the tree to try and find the Ling Shou disciple. Unfortunately, the colors of Ling Shou naturally blended in with the darker shadows of nature, so he couldn't see Shen Yuan in the shadows of the tree.

"Why should I?" Shen Yuan cajoled. Reclining on the branch as he kicked his feet. If he was feeling a little mischievous that day, then whose fault was it truly? His or the ones who wouldn't just give a straight answer? "Are Qingge-shixiong and Binghe-shixiong still grumpy?"

"Ah ha, we're definitely grumpy now!" Luo Binghe shouted, squinting as he made out the silhouette of Shen Yuan. Since when had this little Shidi of his been such a feral wild child!?

Shen Yuan chuckled at that, wrapping his legs around the branch before falling back, letting himself hang upside down. He could faintly make out the blurry colors of blue and white, embroidery of gold and black of swords and beasts as had been described in a book he listened to once about Bai Zhan Peak. Gold symbolized the head disciple and black symbolized a core disciple.

"You both were grumpy before, it's not this Shidi's fault that his Shixiong's just wanted to pout about it!" He had attempted to pull himself back up, getting a bit of a head rush from hanging upside down, but he was unable to flex his core to pull himself up before a pair of hands grabbed his shoulders and yanked.

He shrieked as he was yanked out of the tree and landed on the young man with the heady scent of bitter almonds and lotus. "I hope that hurt, Binghe-shixiong..." Shen Yuan groaned, lying across Luo Binghe's abdomen where the two had crashed into each other.

Luo Binghe resolutely grabbed his arm, keeping him from moving, grunting, "Feral Shidi..."

"Pouty Shixiong..."

"We weren't pouting!"

"Liars!"

Liu Qingge scoffed at the sight of them squabbling on the ground like this, reaching down to yank Luo Binghe up by the scruff of his robes while he wrapped an arm around Shen Yuan's torso, hoisting him up next to his side like a sack of potatoes.

Shen Yuan made no move to remove himself from Liu Qingge's grasp, a little intrigued at the fact the young man could hoist both of them up with only a hand each, and then keep them both suspended off of their feet. "Will Qingge-shixiong say what was bothering both of them now?"

Liu Qingge glared, not directly at Shen Yuan, but the Ling Shou disciple felt the contempt of it still. Were they uncomfortable by whatever it was? Perhaps they were embarrassed? "There is nothing to be worried about, Shixiong." He made sure to address both of them, minutely adjusting himself so he could hold onto Liu Qingge's shoulder and his stomach wouldn't hurt from the grip. "There is nothing that might be embarrassing enough to deter this Shidi, if something is wrong, this one would appreciate to know so he could help."

Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge shared a look, letting his feet fall to the ground, Luo Binghe huffed softly. He and Liu Qingge did not primarily speak with each other, curt exchanges and necessary conversations. The most they communicated was during their sparring sessions. Both were too advanced and aggressive for their peak siblings to spar with anybody else, so they were always paired together. But they had yet to discuss this topic over an hour-long spar that would end with no victor and both cut up and bruised from each other, so there was no telling for either of them if what had put both of them in a sour mood as of late was the same thing.

The long bout of silence annoyed him, and Shen Yuan huffed and puffed as he dropped his feet and tried to reach the ground, but Liu Qingge only held him up higher, nearly putting him on his hip instead. "This one has to go see Qi-shijie, Shang-shixiong, and Wei-shixiong still! Qingge-shixiong and Binghe-shixiong are being ridiculous!"

However, at the mention of a certain disciple, both mirrored the same contemptuous expression, scowling at the idea. "What do you have to see him for, huh?" Luo Binghe scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest while Shen Yuan paused with a confused expression. "Doesn't he go to Ling Shou enough?"

Who are they—. Qinghua!? What are they—. Are they mad at him over something!? I know that none of them are exactly friendly with each other, but what the hell did Qinghua do to earn this much ire?!

"Are you both...mad at Qinghua?" It sounded ridiculous to even ask! What the hell kind of idea was that? Mad at Qinghua. Over what? Neither of them ever even talked to the An Ding Peak Head Disciple! Hell, Shen Yuan was just about ninety percent certain that the peak lord meeting a few days ago was the first time Luo Binghe had ever even met Shang Qinghua! "Why? What could he have done?"

Liu Qingge clicked his tongue. "Nothing, we're not mad at him."

"You're both very bad liars." Shen Yuan stated, kicking his feet for example, though neither Bai Zhan disciple countered. "If you're both upset, just say it. What's the point in keeping it hidden?"

If one were to pass by, they would be just as confused as Shen Yuan. Seeing two Bai Zhan Peak disciples holding the Ling Shou Peak Head Disciple hostage in the grasps of the head disciple of Bai Zhan Peak. Both brutes pouting like children at the blind youth who could not even be affected by such expressions! What a sight to behold!

Finally, always the one to just say what he thought, and now too worked up to keep his thin-faced filter, Liu Qingge asked. "Why the hell do you two say you're married?"

If Shen Yuan started laughing, it was not intentional, and he desperately tried to stop. "Yuan!" Liu Qingge huffed, ears turning pink while Luo Binghe snickered behind him, but the older youth quickly whirled around and tried to punch him for it, still keeping Shen Yuan in one arm as Luo Binghe avoided the strike, laughing a little harder as the Ling Shou disciple desperately covered his mouth and tried to stifle himself.

That is what they had been upset about? He and Qinghua's pseudo marriage? What could upset them about that? Was it just because it was Qinghua or because they didn't know about it? They both could be so picky with certain things, how was he to know it would get them all worked up like this?

"Qing-pfft. Q-Qingge-shixiong!" Shen Yuan struggled to keep his composure but it really was too hard in this situation. He was still held like a feral cat as Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe ran circles around each other, and this scene was just too ridiculous! "Hold on a second!"

Luo Binghe found his opening, grinning maniacally as he jumped forward, encircling Liu Qingge's waist as he brought the older man down, pinning him down by the hips with his legs. "Luo Binghe!"

Liu Qingge glared up at the youth, finding his smirk to be annoying as he grabbed the heavenly demon's collar and yanked him down, nearly switching their positions as the two wrestled it out. Shen Yuan still futilely laughing beside them, letting himself lie on his back as they worked it out of their system. It always seemed that Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge listened better after fighting with each other, having worked out their extra energy and more willing to sit still for a conversation, so he didn't mind waiting.

Their miniature spar ended with Luo Binghe held in a headlock and Liu Qingge's leg caught in Luo Binghe's, twisting it near the point of it snapping. "Alright, alright," Shen Yuan mediated, tapping Luo Binghe's legs and Liu Qingge's arm so they both would take the truce. "You're both ridiculous sometimes, you know? Getting so worked up over something like this. We only say we're married because neither of us knew if we would ever actually marry anybody else, also because we've known each other so long."

Also, we were actually married in our past life, but that's not important right now!

Luo Binghe rolled over onto his stomach, glaring at the ground in front of him. "But him? You decided out of anyone, you would pretend to be married to him?" If anything was ridiculous, it was the very idea of that! That damned Shang Qinghua had always been a leach around his Shifu back then! Always hanging out with him, barging into their–his cottage like it was An Ding and also his home! He would shamelessly hang off of his Shifu's shoulders, hugging him and whispering into his ear even when Shen Yuan used to look away from him or ignore him.

It had been a rather shaking idea that came to him not long ago of the prospects that something similar had happened back then between the two. Only back then, that damned Shishu of his had been a Beta, not an Omega, and from what he learned later on throughout his years of digging through what little remained of his Shifu's past, he learned that the damn traitor knew far more about his Shifu than even he had. Which meant if he knew...and the two had been...Luo Binghe preferred not to think any further than that.

Shen Yuan shrugged slightly, giggling to himself. "Well, it was either him or Xiao Yingzi. At least Qinghua and I wouldn't get as many stares as Yingzi and I would, besides who else would I marry?"

Anyone but him! A thought shared in unison, known only by a single look. If either truly understood what the other had thought to himself, they merely agreed silently but said not a word.

Shen Yuan could still sense their pouting. It left him somewhat lost, he wasn't entirely sure how to help, and he was still trying to figure out everything concerning himself. He didn't want Liu Qingge or Luo Binghe upset, but he truly didn't understand the problem here, and there was no solution anywhere in sight!

Humming to himself, Shen Yuan asked. "Once I'm done going through the introductory, can Binghe-shixiong and Qingge-shixiong take me back to Bai Zhan so we can practice with Hui Qu?" At this, both Bai Zhan disciples perked up, one grinning widely as the other grunted affirmingly.

Bingo!

"Let's get this done quickly." Liu Qingge ordered, standing as he pulled Shen Yuan up by his hand and Luo Binghe followed.

"Wait a second!" Shen Yuan chuckled, already being pulled along despite his protest. "You both don't have to come with me!"

"Rotate your hip," Liu Qingge instructed, tapping Shen Yuan's hip with the flat side of Cheng Luan. "You'll end up striking yourself if you don't flow directly with your blade."

Shen Yuan groaned as he followed the order, dropping the tip to the ground as he huffed. "My bow is easier than this....this is awful..." He'd forgotten what it was like to fight for so long with his sword. Even in his past life, he was not a warrior, he was no swordsman, and Hui Qu was normally only used as a beacon for his spiritual energy, controlled by soft sounds and close melodies.

He wasn't good at sparring, okay? He was better with long-range attacks!

"Shidi will get better with it, he's doing well." Luo Binghe added, coming over from the side where he'd watched the two spar. Liu Qingge was a better teacher, but Luo Binghe was a better observer. He could watch anything and analyze it down to the final detail, and he preferred to do that than ever raise his blade toward Shen Yuan himself. Sparring or not.

"Nuh-uh," Shen Yuan sighed, shaking his head. "I think I should stick to a bow."

"It's good to know how to use your blade in close-range attacks," Liu Qingge countered. "Even using Hui Qu for long range as you have lately won't always be the safest. You need to know how to fight close up."

"I do just fine in hand to hand," Shen Yuan grumbled.

"You cannot fight an armed attacker with hand to hand, you need to know how to wield your sword." Liu Qingge argued.

"Says you," Shen Yuan chuckled, twisting his wrist as an oak-boar vine sprouted from beneath the earth, breaking through the compacted dirt of the training field and wrapping around Liu Qingge's ankle, yanking out and pulling the head disciple off balance. Allowing Shen Yuan to leap forward and put his hand on Liu Qingge's chest, a gentle pin that wouldn't even hold down a beast. "See, I win!"

Liu Qingge scoffed at the "win," but he didn't have the will to correct Shen Yuan upon seeing the younger's smile. Huffing he relented and easily broke the vine off of his ankle. "Very well, we'll work on it more later, go sit down." Shen Yuan sheathed Hui Qu, quickly hurrying over to the side and happily taking his preferred spot under the shade of a tree as he kept a hand on the ground, ready to follow his and Luo Binghe's spar through the clashing energies. "Luo Binghe!"

The young demon grinned as he drew his blade, twisting Zheng Yang around a little as he called over to Shen Yuan. "Yuan-shidi, make sure to call out when I win!"

Liu Qingge rolled his eyes and shoulders, flexing his arm and adjusting Cheng Luan as he said. "Enough with your playing, get started—."

"Liu-shixiong!"

The three all looked over at the young man who came running over. Shen Yuan easily found he didn't recognize him. A water cultivation base, quite strong cultivation if he must say so, and from what he could tell, a decent-sized youth as well. Likely just as tall as Liu Qingge.

The young man quickly realized that it was not just Liu Qingge he ran into, but Luo Binghe and Shen Yuan. The disciple quickly greeted Luo Binghe. "Luo-shixiong, good day." However, when he looked over at Shen Yuan, he tilted his head slightly and quickly hurried over to introduce himself. "This one is Zhao Bao, it's a pleasure to meet you Shidi." Shen Yuan stood to greet him, bowing politely.

"A pleasure, Zhao-shixiong, this one is Shen Qinglin."

The young man smiled at the name, turning to Liu Qingge now that he had properly introduced himself and had not offended the guest on the peak. "Liu-shixiong, this one had something he wanted to ask–."

"Don't beat around it." Liu Qingge ordered, clicking his tongue as his brow twitched irritably. He didn't enjoy being interrupted. "Say what you want."

The disciple startled slightly, nodding quickly as he said. "This humble Shidi wished to ask that–. For Liu-shixiong to spar with me! This one wishes to prove himself and his abilities!"

Luo Binghe could hardly withhold a scoff. It wasn't uncommon that the outer peak disciples or the inner peak disciples came looking for a fight with him and Liu Qingge, always hoping to prove themselves and move up in rank in the peak. But they never had any luck, there was a reason that Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe were the two strongest in Bai Zhan, and any who tried to fight them with the hopes of winning were rather delusional. They had better luck winning against the peak lord himself.

Liu Qingge seemed just as unamused as Luo Binghe, raising a brow at the hopeful young man. It would be best to just send him on his way and keep him from getting pummeled to a bloody pulp for his hubris. But Liu Qingge was never one to deny a challenge, so he said. "Very well. Draw your sword."

A little shocked, Luo Binghe faltered for a moment before growling softly and rolling his eyes. Sheathing his blade and joined Shen Yuan under the tree, analyzing the fight the moment it started while Shen Yuan listened carefully and felt the clashing energies.

"Qingge-shixiong is doing very well," Shen Yuan murmured, smiling as he focused more so on Liu Qingge than the other disciple. It was a given that Liu Qingge would win, but it was still exhilarating to be a witness to the spectacle when so few were brave enough to actually offer a spar with the future war god.

"He always does well," Luo Binghe scoffed, hardly even paying attention to the fight anymore. Or at least he was trying not to pay attention. "This boy doesn't stand a chance. None of them do."

"Give him some credit, Binghe-shixiong." Shen Yuan chuckled, patting Luo Binghe's calf. "He was brave enough to offer the spar and he's lasted quite a bit longer than expected."

"Qingge is going easy on him." Luo Binghe scoffed, grinning viscously as he hissed. "He can't even use his full power because he'll destroy him. A pathetic spar, he should just end it now."

"Liu Qingge knows when he should be gentler on an opponent," Shen Yuan countered, snickering softly at Luo Binghe's tone. If he didn't know any better, he would believe that Luo Binghe was a little jealous. What an idea! "He's likely just being easy on him because he knew he didn't stand a chance. He does the same with me, Binghe-shixiong."

"You're not an opponent." Luo Binghe countered, scoffing at the very idea of either he or Liu Qingge actually attempting to fight Shen Yuan with their full strength. There was a reason he refused to raise his blade to Shen Yuan. They spared in hand to hand, and that was all, but he'd never raise his blade to him. "Of course, we wouldn't try to harm you."

"And he is your peak brother," Shen Yuan giggled, standing so he could stand shoulder to shoulder—more like nose to shoulder—with Luo Binghe. "You shouldn't go so hard on them either, they are your allies."

"Bai Zhan is a bit different, Shidi. We know what we get into with each other, it's our duty to go harder on each other, so we can improve."

"So you both don't want me to improve?" Shen Yuan teased, poking Luo Binghe's side while the young demon whined. Both purposefully and with the intent to gain Shen Yuan's sympathy.

"Yuan-shidi, why are you being so cruel to your Binghe-shixiong today?" He was only half joking. Shen Yuan had purposefully dived off of his sword earlier to avoid Luo Binghe, and he was still salty over it. "Don't you love me?"

Shen Yuan shook his head fondly at Luo Binghe, patting the young man's shoulder. "Binghe-shixiong is being dramatic, of course, I care for him. But sometimes he can be a little ridiculous."

"Shidi shouldn't bully his Shixiong, he's still a little kitten and naughty kittens can get eaten up when they don't respect their Shixiong."

"Whose going to eat me up?" Shen Yuan scoffed, shoving Luo Binghe's shoulder as the larger disciple wrapped his arm around Shen Yuan's torso. "Bingpup? I'd like to see him try!"

Bingpup!?

Luo Binghe sputtered for a moment, caught entirely off guard by the new nickname. He grinned maliciously, preparing to bring this feral little Shidi of his down with him until the two heard the telltale sound of a sword hitting the ground.

The spar had ended, Liu Qingge as always victorious while the young man panted heavily on the ground, hardly able to catch his breath. Liu Qingge, on the other hand, was entirely unaffected. Hardly having even broken a sweat as he sheathed Cheng Luan and walked away from the defeated disciple. Luo Binghe smirked at the sight of him, chuckling at the consequences of someone's hubris used against them, as was deserved.

Shen Yuan, however, immediately went to the young man, kneeling beside him as he did a quick search for any injuries. Thankfully having only found bruises and a few cuts from Cheng Luan. "You did very well, you lasted for longer than I would have." He reassured, finding the young man's sword near his feet and handing it over to him while helping him to his feet. "Are you severely hurt? Would you like to go to Qian Cao?"

"Ah, no, no, I'm fine." The young man coughed sheepishly, a little embarrassed now that he was being helped after losing the spar. He nearly screeched when Shen Yuan grabbed his arm anyway and hoisted him up. What deceptive strength! He looked lithe and slender, yet he could hoist a nearly fully grown man off the ground as if he were a flower! "Uh, thank you, Shidi."

Shen Yuan took note of his stance and the amount of body weight in his hand. His leg was likely injured, he was leaning heavily on his right side. "Is your leg alright? Can you walk on it?" Did he need a splint? Mu Qingfang showed him how to make a splint once, he'd ask Luo Binghe to grab a stick or something.

Zhoa Bao's face grew humiliatingly red. Bai Zhan was not known for its compassion, come or don't come, do as you please, but if you come, be prepared for a beating. He wasn't used to being treated like this unless he was forced to go to Qian Cao for severe injuries, so to suddenly have this demure blossom helping him like this was almost too much for him!

That is, it would've been too much if he didn't meet the gaze of both of his Shixiongs. One with an unreadable expression of pure violence and the other a deceptive smile that swore vengeance. Was his Luo-shixiong's eyes red!?

"He's fine, Yuan." Liu Qingge grunted. Crossing his arms over his chest as he stared down the defeated disciple. What an icy glare! One with the gaze of fire and the other ice! What duality! "Leave him be, he'll be fine to go on his own if he needs to."

Shen Yuan turned his attention to Liu Qingge, shaking his head. "Be nicer to your Shidi, Qingge-shixiong. You go too hard on them sometimes. Remember when you broke Binghe-shixiong's nose."

"He deserved it."

"I broke his arm in return." Luo Binghe argued, somehow agreeing with Liu Qingge for once!?

Shen Yuan rolled his eyes, these Shixiong of his were ridiculous, didn't they know that not everyone had the protagonist halo and the skill of the god of war on their side? However, the disciple quickly retracted his arm from Shen Yuan's hands, bowing curtly as he sputtered. "N-No need Shidi! This one thanks him for his help! Good day!" With that, the boy was running off like he'd seen a ghost!

"What the hell..." Shen Yuan murmured, at first the kid was leaning on him like his leg was broken, and then he was running as if a beast was chasing him! "Why did he–."

"The outer disciples are normally a little strange, Yuan-shidi." Holy shit where did he come from!? Luo Binghe practically teleported behind him, and Shen Yuan could just hear the smile in his voice. What was he smiling about? "Don't mind him, he was likely just a little embarrassed from losing the spar."

"That makes sense..." Shen Yuan shrugged, it did make sense, but why the hell had that kid run like a bat out of hell?

"Doesn't matter," Liu Qingge grunted, somehow appearing behind him as well. Seriously, were they just teleporting at this point? How hadn't he sensed them!? "Let's get back to sparring."

"I'm not wielding a sword."

"Da-Shijie—."

"Focus."

If she said focus one more time—. Heavens help him he didn't want to be rude to his Da-Shijie! He didn't like being rude to his Da-Shijie! He always felt bad afterward, and then he would have to go talk with Bai Daiyu and vent his guilt, and then she'd give him the 'everyone makes mistakes' talk again, and he'd still feel guilty afterward, and he'd go to his A-die and his A-die would be too considerate and offer to help him and then he'd end up crying, and then come back and try to apologize without crying, only to end up crying anyway because he felt guilty!

"I can hear you thinking, Xiao-Shidi~"

Smug asshole. He didn't feel bad for that one, it was true, she was being a smug asshole. Because he didn't even know what he was supposed to be focusing on!

Autumn had just arrived, they had a relatively short summer this year, and his Da-Shijie had said there was a new lesson he needed to learn. He'd so far mastered his musical cultivation, able to play the guqin well enough he could summon a hoard of Obsidian-Koi Leopords all on his own! His talismans had proved to be rather effective and useful, not only in Ling Shou but elsewhere! Even his Baba used them from time to time whenever he was busy, and he could easily manipulate the oak-boar vines with only a flick of his wrist! What else did he need to learn?

And what could he be possibly learning that required him to be submerged chest-deep in a pool of freezing water in the middle of a lake!? Being only told to focus on the energies around him!? He could already sense energy damn it! His archery skills were a testament to that enough!

Song Rong was in the lake with him, apparently following the same routine, though he knew better than to speak up—having gone through this lesson himself before—and was purely there for moral support. Likewise, because he had pestered Ci Liang about making Shen Yuan do it alone so he followed along and joined him like the good Shixiong he was.

However, Shen Yuan couldn't lie, he was beginning to feel a bit strange just standing in the water. There was a heavy yet refreshing sense of qi circulating through the water and his meridians, he knew that there were many densely spiritual places in Ling Shou—having been to almost all of them himself—he wouldn't be surprised if this lake was the same. But there was something else, as if something was coming undone; like a wall of earth slowly eroded by time as the rushing stream bled through it.

"Shidi, open your eyes, what colors do you see?" Ci Liang mused on the bank of the lake, legs crossed as she leaned forward, watching intently. "Describe them as clearly as possible."

Shen Yuan slowly opened his eyes, finding the familiar colors of Ling Shou, blurry and muddled. "Plum and olive-green, Da-Shijie." He murmured, squinting slightly. Oh! Was his Song-shixiong wearing a new pendant? "Red, from Shixiong's pendant."

"Good catch, Xiao-Shidi!" Song Rong chuckled, nodding to Ci Liang who only hummed sharply.

"Keep those colors in mind, close your eyes, think of their placement and the energy bleeding through the water. Separate them, separate Song Rong's existence from the water, and your own. Find each individual thread and their color, and follow it until you find what you see."

Shen Yuan hummed softly, closing his eyes again as he kept the blurred colors in mind, bleeding them through his mind's eyes until past the darkness in front of his eyes came a spark. He jolted, the water around him suddenly becoming crushing, and the pressure almost made his knees buckle. But Song Rong surged forward first, grabbing Shen Yuan's hand and keeping him in place. "It's okay, Xiao-Shidi, just keep your focus on it. It feels a little weird at first, but it's alright."

"Just stay focused, Xiao-Shidi," Ci Liang added. "Just trust it, trust yourself."

He clicked his tongue softly, sighing heavily as he closed his eyes again, going through the slow motions again until that spark came once again. He still flinched, but he didn't run from it. He let that spark take hold, until it grew, and grew, and grew when finally before his very eyes, there was nothing but colors.

Shen Yuan gasped, loud and startled as he opened his eyes again, but this time, the colors hadn't vanished. They were still there. There was nothing but colors. Clear as day, but it wasn't images he saw, it wasn't his Shixiong exactly, but a glowing trail. A bright emerald trail that pulsed and breathed, until it reached that glowing silhouette as if a shadow made of light. There were specs in the water, he could see each path, each trail, everything, glowing and pulsing with life.

"Shixiong..." His voice gone hoarse. Looking around, there was nothing but colors. Trails as far as the eye could see, each a different shade, all so different and yet so similar. He could see the silhouettes, he could see. "Shixiong...I-I can see? Sh-Shixiong! I-I can see you! You're made of light!"

A broken sound came from in front of him, and that silhouette pulsed, that emerald hue burned brighter until he was enveloped by it, and he could feel Song Rong's arms around him. Song Rong was crying, but he was laughing. He could hear so much more, everything was louder and brighter, and even the silk of his Shixiong's wet robes felt different.

"It worked! Shijie it worked!" Song Rong exclaimed, tears streaming down his face as he clasped Shen Yuan's face in his hands. Warm jade eyes, clouded from years ago, glowed. Glowed like the forest, glowed like the breath of life. "Xiao-Shidi! Shidi, can you really? I'm here, what do you see? Yuan-shidi do you see me?!"

Shen Yuan reciprocated, grabbing his face and running his hands over the rough stubble. "Light! Shixiong is made of light!" He was a silhouette of pure emerald, a breathing, and glowing silhouette, not of darkness, but of light. Shen Yuan stared, for the first time in years, he stared. He stared because he could, and suddenly that silhouette had...had ears!? But not ears—. It was...

What the hell was behind him!?

There was something wet and horribly uncomfortable and wet behind him! It was touching his leg! Shen Yuan shrieked like a frightened animal, practically flying out of the water as he skidded to a stop on the bank. It was still behind him! Holy shit it was wrapped around his leg! "Fuck it's on me!"

"Xiao-Shidi!"

"Yuan wait!"

Holy fuck everything was so loud! But first! He grabbed whatever was wrapped around his leg, it felt wet but furry!? He hissed at the feel of it, disgusting! Oh gods it felt disgusting! He yanked as hard as he could, only to yowl from pain as he let go of that wet and furry thing, scrambling as he tried to run from it. Why did it feel like he tried to rip his own arm off when he did that!?

"Da-Shijie!"

"Yuan!" Suddenly, in the newfound haze of trails and colors, there came a surging silhouette of pine that had–. Holy fuck! Ci Liang's arms wrapped around him, and he didn't even think to stop himself as he suddenly reached up to grab the extra appendage of his Shijie's glowing silhouette only to grab—.

"You have wolf ears!?"

He was about to faint, thank heavens his Da-Shijie was already holding him.

Ci Liang huffed as she swept his legs out from under him, pinning them to his chest as she held him to her chest. Running a soothing hand down his back and up his spine as she fixed his hair, smoothing it down when she touched—. What the fuck are those? What was on his head!?

As if turned into ice, he froze, hesitant as he murmured. "Da-Shijie...what is on me?"

Song Rong laughed as he approached, his silhouette glowing brighter as he approached. He kneeled before Shen Yuan and from his Shixiong's silhouette, Shen Yuan saw...a tail. His Shixiong had a fucking tail!

"Take a deep breath, Xiao-Shidi, this is always extreme for first-timers." He spoke softly, reassuringly, but all Shen Yuan could focus on was the glowing silhouette of his Shixiong's fucking tail!

"You have a tail..."

"I do."

"I can see glowing people..."

"Yes, you can."

"It looks like a monkey tail."

"That's because it is."

W. H. A. T

Ci Liang sighed, laughing a little as she said. "Xiao-Shidi, stay calm. Do you understand why people always say that Ling Shou disciples are beasts?"

"Because they are assholes as Song-shixiong has said."

"Yes–. No, well partially." Stuttering, she couldn't help but groan. When she had brought Shen Yuan out here for his final lesson, she hadn't expected such an extreme reaction, and the possibility of Shen Yuan's senses being heightened to such an extreme had only been a hopeful dream. Never did she think it would become a reality! Hence why she hadn't told her Xiao-Shidi in the first place! "It's a bit more complicated than that."

Shen Yuan was only a moment away from demanding his answers when he felt that thing again. Still wet, and still furry, how could something feel so disgusting!? "Da-Shijie..." He whispered, Song Rong hardly holding back a cackle at the fear in his voice. "It's gross...it's touching me again."

"That's because it's on you, Yuan-shidi." Song Rong patted his head, and he touched those things on his head, and Shen Yuan immediately felt the mirror of his reality shatter.

His hands flew up to his head, mapping out his scalp until his hands stopped near the sides of his head when he felt fluffy...ears. He had fluffy ears on his head. Tugging on them hesitantly, he realized they were indeed attached. His arms ached as he slowly did the same behind him, grabbing that disgustingly wet and furry thing only to find it was attached to him and a tail.

Holy fuck he had fluffy ears and a tail.

"Yuan-shidi's spirit animal seems to be a cat, rather fitting, even the ears and tail are pure white."

My what is a what!?

"Song Rong," Ci Liang chided softly, rolling her eyes. "Don't startle him any further."

Ci Liang soothed him down as she used her qi to dry him off until the fluffy appendage wrapped around his leg was dry and nowhere near as uncomfortable. "Would Yuan-shidi like an explanation now?" Ci Liang questioned, earning a quick nod from the confused youth.

She helped him turn to face her, allowing her glowing silhouette to be seen clearly as she explained. "Every disciple in Ling Shou goes through this, Xiao-Shidi. It's all a part of our cultivation path, as a result of cultivating through the very flora and fauna of the earth, and with most of us having the cultivation element of earth, we are far more vastly connected to it than others." She gently led his hand to his tail—which still felt so incredibly strange—and then his other to his ears. "We all have the ability sooner or later to call upon our spirit animal, bringing out its traits from within us, and utilizing them. Song Rong's spirit animal is a monkey, as such, he is faster and has advanced upper body strength when he releases his traits, and my spirit animal is a wolf, naturally, my eyesight is better and I have a stronger sense of smell."

"Why have I never heard of this before, Da-Shijie?" Shen Yuan mused, lowering his hands as he tried to focus solely on his new limbs, shuddering slightly when he felt his ears twitch at the quiet yet enhanced noses all around him. Even his tail twitched slightly on his leg. "I've never heard of anyone else doing this."

"That's because we're only able to bring forth a disciple's spirit animal near the Mid-Autumn Festival. Since it is when the yang energy is plentiful from the year harvest." He took a breath, clearing his throat as he continued. "We can't do it often since not many are ready all at the same time, and for one to have their traits in use for some time takes quite a bit of spiritual energy, so many aren't able to utilize it all that often aside from night hunts and missions. It's also why many of our martial siblings on the other peaks always say Ling Shou disciples are beasts."

"Oh..." He couldn't help but shift awkwardly. It was...strange, he could see, but at the same time, he couldn't. While the colors all around him were vibrant with life, the background of each color was the same blurry and distorted haze of his regular vision. It was as if his eyes had been turned into heat sensors! "Why...Why can this one see? But...But still not truly see? It's not a clear image or details, only light and colors..."

"Xiao-Shidi can see qi." Ci Liang began to explain, extending her palm as she condensed her spiritual energy into her hand until her palm ignited with a gentle glow. "Tell me, Xiao-Shidi, what do you see in my hand?"

It was a ball of colorful light as if she was holding a flame in her hand. But it pulsed and breathed with various colors. Pine, hazel, white, all blending in a breathing shell amidst the silhouette of her palm. "It's...like a flame of color..."

"That is qi," she stated. Smiling a little wider at the amazed expression on her Xiao-Shidi's face. "This one had the hunch that due to Yuan-shidi's already enhanced senses toward qi as a means of direction, when he brought forth his spirit animal, perhaps that sense would enhance a bit further and allow you to see what others are blind to. However, this Shijie didn't wish to raise any of Yuan-shidi's hopes, only for him to be disappointed if it didn't go exactly as planned, so she didn't say anything about it until now."

Shen Yuan nodded, staring for a long moment at the colorful shadow of his Da-Shijie. There truly was no detail, as if someone had merely traced over her and filled in that trace with glowing colors. But he could still see her, he could see the rise and fall of her chest, he could see the wolf ears and tail on her person, he could just see her.

That was more than enough. It was so much more than enough.

"Also, Yuan-shidi," Song Rong hummed excitedly, practically itching to pull Shen Yuan along with him and show the rest of their peak siblings their discovery. "You can also sense another person's spirit animal within them as well, seeing as Shidi is so well adept with his sense toward qi, it would only take him merely holding their hand!"

"I could?"

"Yes," Ci Liang agreed with a curt nod. "As this one has said, as a Ling Shou disciple, your connection with the spiritual prowess of the very earth and its connection with each living creature is much stronger than others. If you truly wanted to, you could see a person's spiritual animal, even if has not been brought forth as ours have."

His tail twitched excitedly, and despite the foreign feeling, Shen Yuan couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of excitement at the idea that came to mind. He immediately sprang up, sprinting off while Ci Liang and Song Rong immediately began to chase after him, both yelling at him to slow down while Shen Yuan only squealed excitedly.

He truly was faster like this. He felt as if he were flying as he ran, his feet hardly meeting the ground, his tail snapped behind him, fluttering in the wind as he followed the glowing trail of spiritual energy. The slew of colors was both overwhelming and thrilling to the point he couldn't bear to hardly blink. Those he passed by were likewise just blurs of color in his vision, none of them hardly familiar or important as he crossed the rainbow bridges until his feet met the grounds of Qing Jing Peak.

Shades of colors varied, each one different than the last, and Shen Yuan had no clue there could be so many colors in the world. However, it all became inconsequential when he saw a silhouette so distant from his memories, yet so close that he almost couldn't believe it. Made of pure glowing jade, one could mistake the person in front of him for an immortal, descended from the heavens and a being of pure and untainted light.

"Baba!"

That person turned to meet him, a startled sound coming from his throat as Shen Yuan crashed into him. Throwing himself into his Baba's arms while Shen Qingqiu caught him. Sputtering at the sight of the additional appendages. Shen Yuan could only care to hold on as tightly as possible, never pulling away his gaze as the silhouette morphed and within his mind's eye, he saw a fox. A fox made of pure jade, vibrant, and beautiful.

"Baba..." He couldn't stop smiling. So many years, so many years the last image of his Baba he had for his memories was of a mangled and broken man whom he was forced to kill for the necessity of mercy, and now, even if it was vague and only a shadow of color, he had a new image, a new memory to replace the old. "Baba...Baba, I can see you! I-I see you, Baba! You're made of light! I can see you!"

Shen Qingqiu halted, staring into the misty yet vibrant jade eyes of his A-Yuan. Glowing with the very light of the earth, the trees, the ground, the flowers, life itself was held within those eyes, and Shen Qingqiu found himself staring for so long before a shuddering breath forced him to smile, and then laugh, and then cry.

Hands both calloused and soft cradled the face of his greatest treasure, the being that was half of him and half of another, the beating heart of a love forever honored and cherished. "A-Yuan, you see me?" What answer could he not find in those eyes? What gift of life could not be beloved when seen within those eyes? "Your Baba is here, do you see me?"

A heart overwhelmed by joy knows not the difference between tears, it only knows that with one so full of love, the very earth would flourish under such emotion. "Baba is beautiful."

Shen Qingqiu laughed through the tears that fell, ignoring them in the field of bamboo, amidst the warmth of the sun in the cool winds of autumn. "My A-Yuan is lovely." He placed a kiss between his brows, a tail wrapped around his ankle as Shen Yuan hugged him, pressing a furry ear against Shen Qingqiu's chest, listening closely to the heartbeat he once thought lost forever.

There came the beat of footsteps, but neither seemed to care. Shen Yuan opened his eyes again, unsurprised by still pleased when he both felt and saw the familiar energies approaching. Pine and emerald, and above all, vibrant and powerful, the color of rolling thunderclouds, as sturdy as a mountain, and yet with the gentleness of a man only known to love.

"A-die!" He didn't let go of Shen Qingqiu, but he still reached forward, finding his own silhouette in his vision. A mixture of rolling thunderclouds and glowing jade blended perfectly into the very presence of both. He smiled wider when a large and calloused hand took his own, his mind's eye supplying him with the visage of a sturdy and proud lion, whose mane was made of clouds and whose roar resembled the cracking of thunder. "A-die! I see you too! You're made of light too!"

There was a moment of shock, though at the sight of his son and his love both smiling wider than he'd ever seen, both with tears in their eyes through sheer overwhelming joy, his very soul could not let him stay so far away. Shen Yuan found that the scents around him were even stronger than before, but the two who found most relaxing and encompassing were the scents of ink and bamboo, petrichor, and rosewood.

His A-die's heartbeat was steady, strong, and proud like the toll of drums. It had to be one of the most soothing sounds he'd ever heard before, and even as Yue Qingyuan led him to look up at him, reveling at the sight of eyes that matched the shape of his own, and yet held such a gentle warmth so often clouded, that even his heart could hardly handle it, Shen Yuan was not deterred from those steady heartbeats.

Not much could be said when one had not even the breath to compose himself. So, as Yue Qingyuan took in the sight of his love, the man who held the very essence of his heart, smiled at the child they had raised. The very symbol, the living, and breathing being of their undeniable bond, the baby he'd held so close to his heart that even before it all could have been known, he'd already claimed that child as his own, what more could Yue Qingyuan possibly say but, "Xiao-Jiu...Our son, do you see our son?"

"Whose else's son could I possibly see?" Shen Qingqiu snarked, scoffing lightly at the lovesick grin on the Qiong Ding Head Disciple's face. Finding it so familiar to that very morning when the tiny and helpless babe they had thought been abandoned by their feet only stilled and cooed when held by either one of them and Yue Qi, that already lovesick young man, had smiled so wide at the sight of Shen Jiu holding the babe that tears had formed in his eyes. "Look at him, Qi-ge, whose else's could he be? He has your hair, and your nose, and your smile."

His cheeks were beginning to ache, but Yue Qingyuan didn't mind. Yue Qi, that lovesick young man, was far too happy to care. "He has Xiao-Jiu's eyes, his jaw, and his hands." He took Shen Yuan's cheek into his hand, unable to suppress the cry of laughter that escaped him at the perfect balance of his son's face in his hands, that young man's smile so similar to his own that every moment of heartache in his life vanished, replaced by that very smile.

Shen Qingqiu's normal haughty and aloof countenance had left him, leaving behind only Shen Jiu. A young man who took and loved all that he could, without the means to ever let go, and how could he? When after so long, the very visage of his most hopeful dreams stood before him? A man who loved him, and adored him with the reverence of a god who hung the very stars in the sky, and a son whose very soul was akin to the holy light of dawn.

Shen Yuan found himself there, held in that secure embrace, for how long? He wasn't sure, but the vigor instilled within his very bones had yet to leave him, even when his parents allowed him his freedom once again, and even as Song Rong spoke wildly of the adventures and plans he was excitedly ready to enact with his Xiao-Shidi, all the while Ci Liang laughed and teased him.

A single path came to mind, even as he could hear and see his peak sibling's path deterring away from the one that called him. An excited grin broke across his face, and he followed that path, past those he couldn't bring himself to give a second glance to, and past building and training fields until he found what he was looking for.

Finally, for the first time, he could finally watch them spar.

Crimson, the very life of a blazing inferno, against the cold and crashing cerulean was akin to fire meeting the sea. Somehow the same in ferocity and power, and yet so different by the means of practice. One flowing and easily maneuverable to even the deadliest of attacks, and the other all-encompassing and forceful, taking hold of everything in his path.

Without even the need to reach out, the very inhale of lotus and bitter almonds with the exhale of bergamot and agarwood he could see the clashing figures. A dragon against a tiger. Scales made of fire and fur made of ice, both powerful in their own right, and yet so differently majestic in their differences.

It was thrilling, to see it however he could, to watch as those energies rippled and crashed. He could feel the very livelihood of the spar, and each clash of iron against iron reminded him of waves crashing against the face of a cliff where the fire raged on despite the struggles.

There was no victor, no final say, only the mutual ache of expended muscles and throbbing bones. Their sole audience smiled when they finished, shocking them with the sight before them, and the presence that had snuck up on them.

Glowing eyes and an even wider smile, white and fluffy ears that looked soft to the touch with an equally as fluffy tail to match. Even with the enhanced sight of qi, the glowing silhouettes before him did not give way to the heat of the Bai Zhan disciples' faces.

"Yuan-Shidi?"

"Yuan?"

"I can see Binghe-shixiong and Qingge-shixiong spar now, at least a little bit." However, no matter what could be seen, and what could not. Shen Yuan sighed softly as he let the traits vanish, receding within the very place it came as he said with a confident finality. "But I don't need to see the silhouettes to know Binghe-shixiong and Qingge-shixiong are strong."

Chapter Text

“There are too many people,” Liu Qingge scoffed. Rolling his eyes at the sight of An Ding, Ku Xing, Bai Zhan, Ling Shou, and even Xian Shu disciples loading carts and carriages while others prepared the horses. “Nothing will get done like this.”

“The mission called for expertise, hence the head disciples,” Shen Yuan murmured, leaning forward on Xiao Yingzi as he listened to the flittering disciples. It was mostly the core or inner disciples of the other peaks, and only a few of Ling Shou’s disciples, seeing as each autumn Ling Shou could be run rather thin with these sorts of missions with how many monsters and beasts went on their final rampages before the beginning of winter. “An Ding is here to help with the supply problem the city has been having. Ku Xing was called to help restore some of the destroyed temples and bless them. Xian Shu was also called because this city has more than a few matchmaker's houses that were attacked and destroyed, who likewise only welcome women, so their expertise is necessary.”

Of course, Ling Shou’s and Bai Zhan’s presence was without saying. If there were monsters, call Bai Zhan to kill them in a second! If there was a beast or a mischievous flora of some kind, then call Ling Shou to tame it down!

He’d read over the reports with Shang Qinghua earlier. Apparently, this city was actually in the territory of Hua Huan Palace, but the prestigious sect had refused to send any more help, since it had lost some of its disciples in the attacks lately, and the city had been unable to compensate them fully for each loss.

How ridiculous. The richest sect in the entire Jianghu couldn’t spare some gold for the greater good? Rich assholes.

It had left a sour taste in his mouth, and Shen Yuan was hopeful to not have to run into anyone from Hua Huan Palace while they were there. He couldn’t be blamed for what he would do if he did run into the Old Palace Master, however, even Shang Qinghua knew their needed cover story for the possibility.

“I don’t see how Xian Shu is needed over some matchmakers getting their teapots knocked over.” Luo Binghe rolled his eyes at the sight of such a lavish group. Bai Zhan wasn’t normally one for reading much into the reports aside from possible hostels. Still, he had been around—snuck into—Ling Shou when Shen Yuan had been reviewing them with Shang Qinghua before making himself more than comfortable and purposefully distracting the two of them until Shen Yuan was only able to relent and come with him for early archery practice.

“They do much more than just serve tea and find you a husband, Binghe-shixiong.” Not partial to such a big group, Shen Yuan scoffed, but he could admit where everyone would play their parts. Not to mention he could appreciate that this time there were very few liberties taking on means of group size. Protection in number after all. “They hold records for almost everyone in that city, family trees, housing locations, birthing records. They store a great deal of information that could be potentially dangerous if the wrong people got their hands on it.”

“But Xian Shu?” Liu Qingge huffed. While he agreed, he didn’t feel entirely inclined to have so many people in one group. The report said that they suspected it was beasts! Not even demons this time! Just beasts! Why bring Xian Shu along? Or even Ku Xing? Why not call upon them at a later date when they had everything handled? “They’re only going to get in the way.”

“Give them some credit, Qingge-shixiong.” Shen Yuan chided, smiling reassuringly. “They’re of Cang Qiong as well, they know what they’re doing. Also, Qi-shijie might hear you, so lower your voice.”

“Let them hear,” Luo Binghe shrugged, chuckling at the thought of that prideful Shijie of his. She was clearly a haughty Alpha, one not to take disrespect of any kind lightly. He hadn’t known much of her in his past life, aside from the fact she used to always nag at Shen Qingqiu over those baseless rumors. Only once had he seen her near his Shifu back then, but she had paid him very little mind, more curious of the sight of the recluse rather than annoyed by him. He still didn’t know exactly where he stood on his opinions of her. “Doesn’t Yuan-shidi believe it’s best to always remain truthful?”

Shen Yuan rolled his eyes, cherry-picking what he said didn’t work in an argument! Don’t be so quick to turn another’s words on them if you don’t know them completely! “This one also believes there is tact that comes with truth. While remaining truthful is viable and preferred, there are due times and attitudes one must take.”

“Overly complicated.” Liu Qingge shrugged, turning his glare to the carriages being prepared. All things considered, the three of them should be riding inside one of the carriages as well with their fellow martial siblings. But Shen Yuan had arrived already riding Xiao Yingzi, claiming that he wouldn’t ride in any carriage if his Shixiong and Shijie who had come along weren’t riding inside as well, and Liu Qingge didn’t want to be stuck alone with his martial siblings. Luo Binghe’s opinions didn’t even have to be said, that Shidi of his all but cussing aloud at the sight of the group coming along. “It’s easier to just say things as they are.”

“Shixiong also believes that a duel comes with any discussion.” Shen Yuan countered, raising a brow at Liu Qingge. He didn’t want to hear a peep from this one! Not when Liu Qingge was more accustomed to his fists rather than his own mouth! “He has no room to talk.”

“It’s easier.”

“How is punching someone in the face easier!?”

“Yuan-shidi thinks too benevolently.” Luo Binghe retorted, leading his horse to stand next to Xiao Yingzi, even as the beast snorted in displeasure at the proximity. “Some people can only see reason after a well-deserved beating.”

“Must you both be so violent?”

“It’s not violence if it’s efficient, Yuan-shidi.”

“That doesn’t change a thing!”

“Shen Qinglin! Liu Qingge!” Jiong Qingshi called from the head of the procession. Qi Qingqi and Shang Qinghua were not far behind him. “Will you be joining us?” For a monk, he was rather loud. A baritone voice that reached volumes that Shen Yuan couldn’t help but be subconscious about. He always felt strange when he yelled, flustered, and embarrassed. It was always rather strange to hear how others could raise their voices so confidently.

Shen Yuan clicked his tongue and Xiao Yingzi trotted over to the carriage the head disciples were to travel in. Technically it was spacious for all of them, but he still didn’t like the idea. Four walls, cramped, and surrounded. Absolutely not.

“This one will have to decline the gracious offer humbly.” He kept his tone calm, yet resolute. He didn’t want there to be any opening for any of them to try and convince him to change his mind. “If my Shixiong and Shijie of Ling Shou will not ride in a carriage, then I will be happy to stay at their side instead.”

Shang Qinghua chuckled at the excuse, knowing better than any that it may as well have been a blatant lie. While he did not doubt that his bro didn’t enjoy the idea of being the sole Ling Shou disciple in the carriage, he also knew that it was primarily because of his friend’s terrible claustrophobia.

“Very well then, Shidi!” He clapped his hand shortly in favor of waving goodbye as he entered the carriage himself. He’d packed a bag of melon seeds for the ride, and he planned to enjoy them, thank you very much! Besides, it was getting colder out again, and his king had so kindly given him some new furs to keep warm! “Xiao Yingzi, play nice!” It was rather gratifying that even the horse had grown used to him, seeing as the beast snorted at him rather than just ignoring him entirely. Progress!

Qi Qingqi raised a sharp brow at Shen Yuan, but the effect was rather limited. It was something she was trying to remind herself of more whenever she saw this Shidi of hers. She noticed the little behaviors of Shang Qinghua and even Liu Qingge and that beast of a Shidi he always dragged along with him, maybe she’d have to utilize them herself.

“It’s getting colder out,” she stated, pointing out the obvious but elegantly so. “Qinglin-shidi will be more comfortable in the carriage.”

“He’s fine out here.” Liu Qingge cut in, taking to Shen Yuan’s side while Luo Binghe purposefully rode in front of Qi Qingqi and Jiong Qingshi, startling both of them slightly as they jolted back away from the stallion, the young man smiling at them all the while. Liu Qingge didn’t comment on his Shidi’s behavior, something that didn’t fall upon blind eyes with the other head disciples as he said. “Yuan said he wished to ride with us. Go inside if you like, we’re leaving now regardless.”

Shen Yuan took Liu Qingge’s hint, knowing that if pushed anymore, his Shixiong wouldn’t be compliable to talk. So, he took the initiative to ride forward, spurring Xiao Yingzi to join the front of the procession, the rest of the disciples—no more than fifteen—riding behind them.

A few times, Shen Yuan couldn’t help but listen closely behind them, trying to find the familiar voices of his Song-shixiong or Xia-shijie. But neither had come along this time, and his Da-Shijie had gone to stay with Bai Daiyu for a week or so to celebrate their anniversary, from his Da-Shijie’s planning and asking for his advice, she planned to propose to his Jiejie sometime this week.

He was rather excited for them, ready to hear of the good news once they all returned, and his Song-shixiong and Xia-shijie had been busy themselves, unable to join him this time for this mission as they normally would have just the same as they did for night hunts. It was strange, to be left to his own devices for once, while a few of his other Shixiong and Shijie had come along, he wasn’t as close to them, and while none of his peak siblings were ever cold him, he didn’t feel the desire to try and build any more close relationships than he already had.

However, the newfound freedom, so to speak, was exhilarating all on its own! He truly didn’t have to answer to anyone! Even as the head disciple, he wasn’t entirely in charge, and he was the youngest amongst his peak siblings regardless, it was rather routine that he was a little babied. No matter how he slightly resented it. He knew they meant well, but damn it, he was nearly full-grown!

Xiao Yingzi suddenly snorted beneath him, throwing his head about while Shen Yuan snapped out of his thoughts, leaning forward to soothe his companion, only to find that Xiao Yingzi’s attention was directed to his left.

“Binghe-shixiong! What are you doing to disturb, Yingzi?” Shen Yuan accused quickly, leading Xiao Yingzi to look away from Luo Binghe while the Bai Zhan disciple squawked offendedly. “It’s alright, Yingzi, don’t let him bother you.”

“Me!?” Luo Binghe shouted, offended as he glared further at the damned beast. The ride was rather uneventful, he had been a little bored just looking around at his surroundings on the worn roads, but when he’d looked in his Shidi’s direction, he’d been meant with the glare of that stupid beast!

The damn horse started it! Mark his very words! The future glue jar had been glaring at him first! He was merely returning the favor! How was it his fault that the damn thing would start up a fuss because it could possibly understand Luo Binghe’s intentions? He wasn’t the one to blame here, Shidi!

“The damn horse started it!”

“You likely startled him!” Shen Yuan defended, soothing Xiao Yingzi further while Luo Binghe watched with a dark expression. “Xiao Yingzi just gets uneasy around others, we’re also in a large group, he’s just a little overwhelmed is all. This one asks that Binghe-shixiong exhibits some compassion.”

Compassion…Compassion!? That fucking horse was smirking at him! He didn’t know how he knew, or even if horses could smirk, but the fucking horse was smirking at him.

The moment he looks away, you accursed beast, I’m turning you into glue.

As if a mind reader, the horse brayed at him, stomping his hooves into the ground while Shen Yuan jostled slightly. Sighing as he leaned over completely until he was hardly on the saddle so he could fully soothe his companion. A little difficult as Xiao Yingzi only increased his pace, nearly outpacing both Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe’s steeds if not for the fact of Shen Yuan practically hanging off of him. “Yingzi, Binghe-shixiong didn’t mean to upset you, he’s sorry–.”

“Like hell I am!”

“He’s very sorry!” Shen Yuan amended, shooting a scathing look in Luo Binghe’s direction. “Everything is alright now, Yingzi.” He made sure to scratch under the horse’s chin a few times for good measure before trying to push himself back correctly on the saddle, only to have an arm wrap around his waist instead, hoisting him back into the correct position.

Xiao Yingzi snorted aggravated at the other Bai Zhan disciple, but Shen Yuan only patted his side. “Don’t lean forward so far, you’ll fall off.” Liu Qingge chided, only receiving an eye roll from the Ling Shou disciple.

“I have stronger legs than it may seem, Shixiong.” He chuckled, clicking his tongue a bit as he raised his hand in the air, snapping his fingers twice before flicking his wrist forward, earning a few hollers in response from the Ling Shou disciples behind him. “Besides, Xiao Yingzi likely just wants to stretch his legs more.” With that, he flicked his reigns as he yipped softly, and Xiao Yingzi shot off into a gallop.

Liu Qingge’s horse whinnied, startled by the sudden lunge, while Luo Binghe rode up to his Shixiong’s side. “I hate that fucking horse.”

“En.”

Liu Qingge looked behind him and nodded to the Bai Zhan disciples behind them before the two charged off. While Xiao Yingzi was a hindrance, he was an annoyingly fast one at that, and it seemed he only ran faster when he had something he wanted to stay away from.

Shen Yuan let Xiao Yingzi run to his heart’s content, he knew that the city was straight ahead to the South. It would take them some time to get there, so there was no harm in letting Xiao Yingzi run for as long as he wanted, his Shixiong and Shijie knew to catch up with him if they got too close and Xiao Yingzi didn’t stop.

However, it seemed it wouldn’t be necessary, seeing as two other horses slowly began to catch up to them. Still to Xiao Yingzi’s flank, but Shen Yuan could hear their hooves against the ground. Ah! Shixiong, you two shouldn’t make your horses run so long! Yingzi will surely outpace them!

Xiao Yingzi only seemed spurred on by the sudden contenders, snorting as his powerful legs pushed faster, and Shen Yuan squealed as he had to lean forward before he flew off of the saddle. “Yingzi! What’s gotten into you!?”

It went on like that for some time. Xiao Yingzi would pick up the pace anytime Luo Binghe’s or Liu Qingge’s horses got too close and would keep the speed for however long it took them to lose them. Shen Yuan tried to soothe his steed into falling into a trot if nothing more for the sake of the Bai Zhan stallions, but his companion was rather convinced to not let anyone get too close.

Once again, in the strange game of cat and mouse this had turned into, Liu Qingge drew closer and Xiao Yingzi whinnied as he tried to surge forward. However, this time, Shen Yuan quickly leaned to the side, yanking back on the reigns to stall him for a moment. “Yingzi! Calm yourself, what’s gotten into you?” Before he could lean forward to soothe his stallion, Liu Qingge’s arm wrapped around his waist, pulling him off his saddle while the beast squealed indignantly, immediately turning around to dig at the ground and bray at the Bai Zhan Peak Head Disciple.

“Yingzi!”

“Get back beast!” Liu Qingge shouted over him, only spurring Xiao Yingzi’s aggression as the future war god’s steed squealed and whinnied in distress. “What the hell is wrong with that thing?!”

Shen Yuan squirmed his way off of Liu Qingge’s saddle, dropping to the ground and quickly leading Xiao Yingzi away from Liu Qingge’s stallion, and further away from Luo Binghe’s when the youth came too close. “Yingzi, easy, be easy.”

“He’s deranged, Yuan-shidi.” Luo Binghe scoffed, dismounting his own steed as he reached out to pull Shen Yuan away, only for Shen Yuan to pull himself and Xiao Yingzi further away. “Yuan-shidi, get away from him.”

“Binghe.” Shen Yuan snapped, holding down Xiao Yingzi’s muzzle in a gentle hug. “Aggression upon aggression does nothing but fan the flames. I ask again for you to show him some compassion.”

“He’s too wild,” Liu Qingge cut in, dismounting as well as he looked behind them. They had lost the rest of the procession some time ago. It’d be an hour at least before anyone was able to catch up to them. “Yuan should reconsider his opinions of a different steed.”

Shen Yuan raised his hand to silence them, stifling Xiao Yingzi’s squealing with his other hand as he said. “It’s this one’s own fault,” he carefully released Xiao Yingzi once he was sure that the horse wouldn’t try to bite either Bai Zhan disciple or cause such a fuss to startle the other horses again. “I never really tried to socialize him with anyone else…He wasn’t too friendly to others, but I never pushed for it. I was rather selfish, don’t blame Yingzi for it. He genuinely is just rather frightened by new people.”

“But we’re not new.” Luo Binghe scoffed, raising a brow at the explanation. His Yuan-shidi, selfish? Ha! A lame attempt at a lie if he had to say so himself. “He should be used to us by now.”

“Cheng Qiang wasn’t new either…”

Even Xiao Yingzi stiffened at the name, groaning softly as he pushed his muzzle against Shen Yuan’s chest almost sympathetically. Shen Yuan returned the favor by scratching behind his ears, stroking his mane affectionately as he cooed.

“...Yuan?”

Shen Yuan exhaled deeply, giving Xiao Yingzi a final good pet before addressing what he had said. He wasn’t one to talk about these things, not without proper need. He preferred the past to stay in the past. Far, far away from him. The further the better, the farther away it was, the less likely it would happen again.

“Xiao Yingzi and I come from the same place. Cheng Qiang never treated him well either, even if someone was frequent, it didn’t always mean they were good.” Shen Yuan explained, clearing his throat softly at the memories, his expression twisting slightly. Something that did not go unmissed. “If only one person ever treated you decently in your entire life, while everyone else called you beast because of reasons beyond your control, wouldn’t you be hostile to everyone else? Even if they were commonplace?”

At that, neither Liu Qingge nor Luo Binghe had any rebuttal to give. However, at their silence, Shen Yuan only sighed and reached out, offering his hand. “Come on, I don’t want you three fighting.” He took them both gently by the hand leading them closer even as Xiao Yingzi snorted in disinterest.

“Gently pet his muzzle,” he instructed, holding Xiao Yingzi’s reigns and cooing to his companion while the Bai Zhan disciples followed his instructions, each petting the horse’s muzzle gently before pulling away. Shen Yuan hummed appreciatively at them both before allowing Xiao Yingzi to pull away, huffing and puffing softly. “They’re my friends, Yingzi. Please be kind to them, they aren’t like the bad people.”

Xiao Yingzi snorted softly, but otherwise complied, necking Shen Yuan gently as a display of affection and likely an apology. Luo Binghe hummed as he watched, eyeing the body of the beast for a moment before asking, “Yuan-shidi, when you say they were commonplace, what else did you mean?”

Perceptive! Way too perceptive!

Shen Yuan shrugged, leaning a bit more into Xiao Yingzi. “Cheng Qiang was never nice to Yingzi. He’d isolate him and keep him locked up in the stables, and he never tried to help with his aggression, normally just neglecting him.” He heard the click of a tongue to his right, knowing it to be Liu Qingge and a sign that what he had said was not the answer they were looking for. “Though…they were also regulars at the brothel too…Normally just Cheng Qiang’s friends. Ugh, leechers all of them. Gross, nasty, smelly, and perverted leechers.”

Liu Qingge glared at the mention. He didn’t like where this turn was coming from. “Leechers?”

“It was a brothel after all,” Shen Yuan shrugged again. He’d come to accept it for what it was. His Jiejie was from a brothel, and she was objectively the greatest human to have ever lived, what need have he for shame of his origins? A brothel is a brothel, there was no changing its purpose. “The people that came there didn’t just come to see me and have a little chat over tea. Even if I was too young to properly work there, of course, they had other intentions once I was old enough, even if I was rather oblivious to them at first.”

There came a snap, and Shen Yuan flinched at the sudden hostility that overwhelmed the area. Was that Luo Binghe!? Liu Qingge, however, didn’t seem to be any better, just as riled up, so he was of no help with the demonic seal that snapped free from its constraints.

What the fuck!? We just resealed it two days ago! He should have been good for another week! Shen Yuan cringed internally as he reached out to try and ease the heavenly demon’s ire, only to have his arm caught by the Bai Zhan disciple, yanking him into a sturdy wall of muscle that reeked of burning almonds and slowly rotting lotus.

The hug was a bit surprising, but Shen Yuan regardless took the opportunity to place his hands over Luo Binghe’s meridians, channeling the demonic qi through his own system before pushing it back into the Bai Zhan disciple, evening out the scales of his person carefully until that hostile aura receded. The feeling of Without-a-Cure flaring up with each passing moment was always uncomfortable; like a scab splitting open when you bend your arm or your knees, but this time, that discomfort came faster and increased sooner than he expected. Liu Qingge’s hand grabbed his shoulder not a moment after, cleansing his meridians before Without-a-Cure could even have the chance to flair up enough to cause a moment of true pain.

“Shidi…” Luo Binghe hunched slightly, to lower his head near Shen Yuan’s, a complicated countenance about him as he murmured. “...This one apologizes.”

“It’s alright,” Shen Yuan reassured him, swallowing down the blood that surged up his throat. The flare-ups had gotten easier to manage over time, and with Liu Qingge’s help, they weren’t almost non-existent. But it didn’t mean that their effects went away entirely, only that Shen Yuan had to work a little harder to ignore them. “Has Binghe-shixong’s control over his demonic seal gotten harder to manage?”

“It’s only been two days,” Liu Qingge stated, crossing his arms as he raised a brow at his peak brother. Luo Binghe’s eyes were slowly receding from red to starry black, but amongst the common trait, black claws had grown from his nailbeds in a matter of seconds, his huadian still pulsed a menacing red, canines had practically sprouted into fangs. Far past the normal for even an Alpha, and the tips of his ears seemed to be pointed. He knew the physical side effects would wear off in only a matter of seconds, but the fact that so much had come out in only a moment was alarming all on its own. “Even if control has waned, so many traits shouldn’t have surfaced this quickly.”

Luo Binghe hummed sharply, unwrapping one arm from around Shen Yuan to raise his hand to his face. His claws receded entirely in front of his eyes, and he could feel his huadian vanish as well as the hue of his eyes. His canines ached slightly, and he already knew they’d take a bit longer to recede. It was difficult at times to understand his own body like this, back then, he’d been trapped in the abyss for years, and every change his body experienced had been a good one, at least for survival.

By the time he escaped with Xin Mo, he had enough control to hide the less desirable traits, and he’d schemed his way into Hua Huan Palace’s highest ranks before taking over the sect entirely. But now, survival was not the key component that he had to work towards, he was not fighting to stay alive each day, and with only a single glance down, bile rose to his throat at the sight of the barest hue of red on his Shidi’s lips.

They couldn’t keep doing this. His seal was getting harder to maintain, and he wouldn’t stand to watch his Shidi put himself on that line again and again. He needed to bring himself back to his power from before.

“As a demon ages, their power naturally grows.” Shen Yuan stated, keeping an arm wrapped around Luo Binghe’s torso as he led them back over to their horses. He couldn’t be sure just how fast the rest of the procession would be, and he didn’t want to chance anyone seeing Luo Binghe at the moment. “Especially heavenly demons. Since they were originally of heavenly power, nothing of that has changed, even over time and with bloodlines mixing with others. A heavenly demon's blood will remain dominant over any other genes.”

Luo Binghe helped him back onto Xiao Yingzi, and Shen Yuan could say he felt proud that his companion had waited a moment before trotting forward, even keeping a decent pace so Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe could keep up.

“What does that have to do with the seal?” Liu Qingge asked, keeping his steed a safe distance from Xiao Yingzi.

“The stronger the blood of a demon, the harder it is for an outside source to conceal it. It’s why most talismans and spells wouldn’t work on heavenly demons.”

Also why they had to put Tianlang-Jun under a fucking mountain, however, that likely was just that old palace master being a dick.

Luo Binghe listened intently, it wasn’t all that surprising to hear all that Shen Yuan knew of the demon race, to an extent, he wondered if this Shidi of his knew even more than him. “What does Shidi suggest then?”

Shen Yuan rubbed the leather of the reigns between his fingers anxiously. Truthfully, he didn’t know what to do. He hadn’t been there when Luo Binghe figured it out in his past life, and in the novel, it was never described just how Luo Binghe learned to hide his demonic heritage even from Hua Huan Palace which has always been notorious for its arrays that could sense even the slightest hint of demonic energy.

“This one…I’m not sure,” he murmured guiltily. He tried to think further on it, but unless Luo Binghe could connect to another person who was familiar with cleansing demonic qi as he was, and albeit much stronger than him, he couldn’t think of any way for Luo Binghe to keep his seal under control, at least not until he learned to do it himself. “We can always try to do the cleansing more often—.”

“Absolutely not.”

“You didn’t even hear me out!”

“Because you don’t think of yourself with these things!” Luo Binghe countered, already feeling his eye twitch from the banter. What was with this Shidi of his? Why did he always put himself on the line like this!? Didn’t he know that one day it would get him killed?! “This Shixiong can handle it.”

He’d done so before. While the process itself was tedious, having to memorize every vein and crevice of both his spiritual and demonic meridians to be able to control both to such an extreme extent, he was more than willing to face such a process again. It would have come to this sooner or later regardless, and honestly, he shouldn’t have waited so long to begin the process to begin with.

Why had he waited so long? If not for…Well, that wasn’t the case anymore. Definitely not anymore. He didn’t need this particular excuse to have a reason to force himself around Shen Yuan.

Shen Yuan rolled his eyes at Luo Binghe, scoffing to himself as he muttered begrudgingly. “Binghe-shixiong shouldn’t have to handle it alone…”

“Luo Binghe,” Liu Qingge cut in, squeezing his stallion’s side to ride closer to the front. “Make sure nothing is out of place, we’re here.”

Zigong was most definitely suited for the province of Hua Huan Palace. The gates were guarded, and as they entered, Shen Yuan could hear the sturdy limestone of the road. An expensive rock and rather pretty in a sense of aesthetic, but it would have to be replaced after too many heavy rains. Any city that could afford to do such a thing so routinely to keep the roads this fine was undoubtedly wealthy.

However, as was normal, the moment they entered, they were swarmed. Vendors, patrons, and children all flittered around them. Many of these people likely had affiliations with Hua Huan Palace, so to be suddenly left abandoned by their benefactors was likely a troubling experience, and any who bore the symbols of the peaks of Cang Qiong was undoubtedly strong enough to ease their worries, so they latched on immediately.

“Daozhang! Daozhang! Thank goodness you’re here!”

“Awful so awful! You don’t know the half of it!”

“Daozhang, do any of you need weapons or medicine? What a long journey you’ve had!”

“Allow this humble one to offer you somewhere to sleep!”

Xiao Yingzi brayed at the lot, and Shen Yuan hardly had half a mind to stop him, more concerned about keeping his steed from trampling the crowd. What was wrong with people? Swarming and disturbing others? Even if they were scared, didn’t they know that causing such a fuss would only get in their way?

Liu Qingge reached over, keeping a hand on Shen Yuan’s back as he soothed down Xiao Yingzi, the proximity only agitating the beast further. “Away from us you fluttering chickens!” Luo Binghe growled, still on edge from earlier, and ire growing the longer these people practically hung off of them. “You’ll be trampled beneath us!”

With such a threat, many of the people scurried off, as did most of the vendors, none too keen on trying their luck with a disciple of Bai Zhan. However, the few who stayed kept their distance, offering serene bows of grace to their benefactors.

“Forgive us, forgive us, Daozhang!” The man who spoke was dressed expensively. His arms twinkled and chimed softly as he walked, the gold bracelets he wore clanging together as he moved. Liu Qingge couldn’t help but raise a brow at the sight of him. “The people of this city have been plagued for many days and nights, and after the…ordeal we suffered with Hua Huan Palace being unable to offer their assistance no matter their valiant efforts, everyone has been desperate for peace of mind.”

“It’s no excuse for such behavior.” Luo Binghe hissed, glaring down at this man and the servants behind him. They as well dressed in fine silk of either gold or black and even the lowliest of servants behind him seemed to be dressed like a show pony. How gauzy. “What if you’d startled the beast my Shidi rides and he threw him off? Would you be so formal upon seeing the ones come to help you get hurt before they could even start?”

What a tongue, Binghe! Truly speaking with the power of a lord! You’d definitely make Tianlang-Jun proud! Shen Yuan couldn’t help but find it a little impressive. His Shixiong was normally quick-witted and joking but reserved. Sticking to the very few he knew to be of safe ground, normally only Liu Qingge and Shen Yuan. So, it was rather intriguing to hear how quickly his tone could change and how authoritative he could be when given the opportunity.

Before Liu Qingge could combust the crowd into flames with his glare or Luo Binghe could bite their heads off, Shen Yuan dismounted from Xiao Yingzi, stepping forward to offer a polite bow. “This one and his Shixiongs understand the predicament and how it has affected this city and its inhabitants. Fear and uncertainty are understandable, and this one swears that the situation will be handled promptly once the rest of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect’s procession arrives. This humble Shen merely asks that manners and propriety be ordained during this time so no accidents will occur.”

The lord faltered at the tone of this cultivator, surprised that it was seemingly the youngest and frailest to speak so eloquently to him and so direct! A grin spread across the short man’s face, hardly Shen Yuan’s height alone as he focused on the polite youth closest to him. “Of course, this humble Tang-ye wouldn’t hope to cause any trouble for the honorable Daozhang. Please, allow this one to show you where you and the rest of your procession will be staying. Will the rest arrive soon?”

“They will be here shortly,” he mulled over what to say. He didn’t want to exactly admit that Liu Qingge, Luo Binghe, and he had all just ridden too far ahead and left them behind, so he said. “This one and his Shixiong arrived early to search the area ourselves first, so as to irradicate the problem as soon as possible. Is there anything Tang-ye can tell this one of the problems the city has been facing?”

With that, the lord began to ramble and moan over the city's woes. The beasts that had been attacking only attacked at night, however, many people had gotten a good look at them and many of the city's scholars had congregated together and concurred that it was likely a hoard of Deadly Coiled Serpents. Serpents the size of a mature oak tree and notorious for hunting in large groups.

When they arrived at the estate the lord offered to house the procession in, Shen Yuan did his best to end the conversation there. If the identity of the beasts had already been identified, then there was no further conversation necessary, they’d just have to wait for nightfall before hunting down the beasts and then offer aid where needed the next day.

Unfortunately, it had taken over an hour—and Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge practically growling at the lord—before the man left them with wishes of good fortune and the statement he would send the procession to them once they arrived.

“What a fucking garrulous bastard,” Luo Binghe groaned once Shen Yuan closed the doors to the seating room they had been led to. Both Bai Zhan disciples had been trying to scare off the lecherous crybaby for over an hour!

He just couldn’t take a fucking hint! Moan to someone else about your problems! They were already there to fix them, why bitch and moan some more?!

“En.” Liu Qingge grunted in agreement, leaning against the wall as he watched as Shen Yuan opened the qiankun pouch he’d brought, pulling out a guqin from the pouch before setting himself up on the floor with a simple mat beneath him. “Yuan?”

“The lord said that the serpents had killed over fifteen people from his estate, all servants.” Shen Yuan mumbled, plucking each string slowly before adjusting his sleeves. His sleeves were longer than he was used to, normally hiding his hands within them, his Da-Shijie told him it was a sign of a gentle hand, one to keep his hands hidden was one to keep his hands still during confrontation. But he could only find them as a nuisance at times, he was the Ling Shou Peak Head Disciple! His work was outdoors with the animals and flora! Who had need for long sleeves?! “This one will try to see if there is any resentful energy here that has led the serpents to this estate directly.”

The Bai Zhan disciples stayed quiet as Shen Yuan began to play. One stood closer to the corner while the other sat down to listen, a grim but nostalgic feeling beating within his chest as he listened to the carefully crafted melody.

His Shifu used to play the guqin in the meadow for hours. When Luo Binghe no longer needed his instruction for sword practice or reading and calligraphy, his Shifu had left him to his own devices to practice as he pleased while he played his melodies in his garden.

Looking at him now, Luo Binghe could see where their differences were decreasing. Shen Yuan had lost the baby fat of his face, leaving soft curves but a sharp jawline. As well as his hands had grown, slender and long fingers plucking each string with practiced ease. Of course, Luo Binghe understood that these changes came with age, but he couldn’t help but be attentive to each one.

The only differences that he could note, and were actually quite fond of, were the way his Shidi’s hair was never up. Never pulled back, rarely even braided, most times only tied up in a low tail with a long black ribbon and nothing else. It left his face framed by thick and soft locks of raven hair, giving him a gentle appearance that his Shifu had significantly lacked back then. Then, of course, the distinct muscle that Shen Yuan had.

That wasn’t to say Luo Binghe had the opportunity to see it close up himself aside from the…incident in Qian Cao where their status as soulmates had finally been discussed. But even through the layers of plum-purple outer robes and olive-green and white inner robes, Luo Binghe could note the distinct difference between his Shidi’s and his Shifu’s physiques.

His Shifu had been slender, unhealthily so. His cheeks damn near always sunken in and eyes lidded from the constant fatigue he felt, something Luo Binghe abhorred to admit he had missed back then. But now, his Shidi was lively, skin pale but vibrant and glowing with life, and cheeks rounded healthily. When Luo Binghe met him hand-to-hand during their training, he was able to note the muscles of his arms and legs when collided against his own. He was still slender and lithe, nowhere near his or Liu Qingge’s physique of broad muscle, but he was healthier and stronger.

Even now, sitting here, listening to melodies he was both familiar with and new to, he saw the distinct differences and found that he was quite appreciative of them.

When the melodies faded away, Shen Yuan had a confused countenance about him, and Liu Qingge quickly honed in on it as he asked. “Yuan, what is it?”

Shen Yuan hummed slightly, contemplating as he said. “There is a presence of resentful energy, and it’s likely what has led the serpents here primarily…but each fragment is tiny. Too small to gain the attention of beasts like a Deadly Coiled Serpent.”

“Perhaps they’re all drawing it in? The combined energies?” Luo Binghe offered, but Shen Yuan only shook his head.

“They all seem to be of different things, this one would have to look at them individually to see if their qi matches.” With that, he stood picking up his guqin and placing it gently on the table before retrieving his bow and quiver from the qiankun pouch as well. “If they do match, we can use it as bait to lure the serpents somewhere else so we can trap them.”

“And kill them.” Liu Qingge amended but Shen Yuan only shrugged slightly.

“If the situation calls for it.”

“Yuan, we’re killing them when we catch them.”

“Well, what if one’s a baby, Qingge-shixiong?” Shen Yuan gestured wildly, trying to make his point as clear as possible. This was a rare opportunity for him! He loved studying the animals on Ling Shou, but he’d already gone through them all, and could he be blamed for being curious? “Are you really going to kill a baby!?”

“You’re not keeping one of those serpents!”

“But what if I end up loving it!?”

“Yuan!”

Luo Binghe watched the scene unfold with a barely hidden cackle. Shen Yuan had the tendency, it seemed, to try and collect any creature he came across. Of course, not many dangerous creatures ventured into Cang Qiong, so the habit wasn’t of any concern there, not to mention relatively encouraged in Ling Shou. But out here, it was a rather…dangerous habit.

“Yuan-shidi would want to keep a serpent? What if it tried to eat you?” He chuckled at his own question, taking a tentative step back in preparation for what he asked next. “Doesn’t Yuan-shidi know that serpents eat little kittens?”

As expected, Shen Yuan whirled around and tried to lunge at him. “Who is Binghe-shixiong calling a kitten?!” Ugh! He regretted letting Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge see his spirit animal traits! What a mistake! Now his Shixiong bullied him about it! Song Rong was right! Everyone else was an asshole about it! “Can Bingpup really speak so carelessly?”

Luo Binghe squawked at the name, didn’t his Shidi tell him that his spirit animal was a dragon and Liu Qingge a tiger? Why was he being compared to a dog?! A puppy at that! “Dogs still eat kittens, Shidi! Yuan-shidi shouldn’t be so mean to his Shixiong!” He danced around Shen Yuan’s lunges until the two hardly even exchanged blows, more so both of them clashing forearms against forearms. “What if I decided to eat you?”

“Qingge-shixiong wouldn’t let you!” Shen Yuan grinned triumphantly, landing a decent kick to Luo Binghe’s thigh, earning a grunt from the bigger man. “A tiger against a puppy, the winner would be clear!”

“En.”

“How cruel of Qingge to agree!” Luo Binghe whined, grunting when Shen Yuan honed in on the distraction and tried to land a blow for his side, only for Luo Binghe to take the ankle directed for his side in hand and use the momentum to yank Shen Yuan forward until he crashed into his chest. “Who says that Qingge would win anyway? He hasn’t won a spar against this one in months!”

“Neither has Luo Binghe won a spar in months,” Liu Qingge countered, stepping forward to punch Luo Binghe’s shoulder so the younger would release Shen Yuan’s ankle, still keeping him pinned against his torso with his other arm. “This one would be the winner.”

“Is Qingge so sure?” He leaned closer to his Shixiong, grinning mischievously while the stone-faced Liu Qingge only snorted at him. “This one has improved, Qingge said so himself, who says I wouldn’t win?”

“I do!”

“Yuan-shidi is being biased.”

Shen Yuan laughed at the flat tone, knowing that he was actually getting to Luo Binghe with his quips. However, to ease the tension before the Bai Zhan disciples actually took the chance to spar in the seating room, he turned himself to face the both of them, appeasing both of their egos as he said. “But of course that’s only under the right conditions. Qingge-shixiong fights better during the daytime and when he’s had time to spar more beforehand, while Binghe-shixiong fights better closer to dusk and when he’s had time to recuperate. Without these conditions, however, Shixiongs both fight relatively at the same pace.”

Though for how much longer would that last? Even in his past life and from what he remembered of reading PIDW, Luo Binghe was entirely undefeated in battle once he returned to the Jianghu. Of course, back then, and in the novel he never had the chance to fight with Liu Qingge at their full strength.

Right now, Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge are evenly matched, but would that last for much longer? Or could Binghe’s protagonist halo rub off on Qingge?

A little surprised by such an analytical explanation, both Bai Zhan disciples were caught off guard and rendered speechless, but before they could ask more about what Shen Yuan had discovered from being a close-up witness to their sparring, the doors of the seating room opened with a resounding thud, and Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe both sneered at who entered.

Damn it, wasn’t it supposed to take them over an hour to catch up!?

Shang Qinghua entered after Jiong Qingshi and Qi Qingqi, still snacking on his bag of melon seeds with a thick fur-lined cloak draped over his shoulders. So what if he could control his internal temperature? His king had specifically gifted him the cloak because he said he was sick of hearing Shang Qinghua whine about the cold in the Northern Desert, why wouldn’t he use it?

However, that relaxed demeanor practically flew out of his mouth along with his melon seeds at the sight before him. Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe were standing so close together that their foreheads nearly touched, but amongst it all, Shen Yuan was literally pinned to Luo Binghe’s chest with Liu Qingge’s hand hovering over him!

Holy shit, bro! How are you not going to tell me about your new relationship!? Do we have gossip day for fucking nothing!? We bring tea for this sort of thing! What did I miss!?

Qi Qingqi, especially, however, did not take the sight with the same sense of humor with only slight indignation. Her expression contorted stiffly, and she was immediately going after Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe. “What are you two brutes doing!?”

Already annoyed by their presence, Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe both scowled at the woman for her tone. What was she yelling at them for? It wasn’t them who just barged into a room unexpectedly! “What are you yelling for?” Liu Qingge sighed, already feeling a headache coming on. This was why he hated traveling with his martial siblings and in big groups.

“What am I—. Shameless! Both of you!” She surged forward at that, fearlessly pushing past both Bai Zhan disciples before grabbing Shen Yuan’s sleeve and leading him over to Shang Qinghua. Leaving him there as she stood next to Jiong Qingshi again and chided them. “Do neither of you have a sense of decorum or etiquette? Does Bai Zhan not teach its disciples proper manners?”

“What are you squawking about?” Luo Binghe growled. Not only had Shen Yuan been quite literally ripped out of his hands, but now he was being scolded by this prissy young madam! “Etiquette and decorum, you speak as if you caught something depraved!”

“Haven’t we?” Qi Qingqi hissed, crossing her arms over her chest as she eyed Shen Yuan, only to find the Ling Shou Peak Head Disciple with an equally as confused expression. She wasn’t surprised, however, Shen Qingqiu had given her a decent warning of his son’s behavior and understanding. Ling Shou naturally followed a more pack dynamic structured way of life, so of course this Shidi of hers wouldn’t be entirely used to the proper etiquette outside of his peak! But Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge, however, had no such excuse! “You two behaving so shamelessly with him! Haven’t we just found you behaving lecherously?”

Lecherously!? What the hell!?

Shen Yuan stepped in at that, finding this to be going nowhere, and not entirely up for the idea of Liu Qingge or Luo Binghe taking too much offense to Qi Qingqi’s words and starting a duel. “Qi-shijie, if this one may?” Encouraged by a quiet hum he said. “May this one ask what Shijie is upset about? Qingge-shixiong and Binghe-shixiong have never behaved disrespectfully towards me or each other, so this one is somewhat lost as to what she is referring to.”

“Qinglin-shidi wouldn’t be used to such rules, so he can’t be to blame, it is merely Ling Shou’s structure,” Qi Qingqi waved it aside, receiving a glance from Jiong Qingshi while she only continued. “However, Bai Zhan holds itself up to the same rules, similar to the other peaks. They apparently have forgotten the proper distance to be maintained from an Alpha and Omega. Especially when all three are unmated, and even then, it would be quite unsightly.”

Distance?! All of this is over the proximity of us!?

“Shijie,” Shen Yuan kept a placid tone, hoping to soothe Qi Qingqi’s ire. “Binghe-shixiong and Qingge-shixiong have helped train me in hand-to-hand combat, archery, and swordsmanship. It’s not born out of unsightly intentions that we keep proximity, merely out of habit due to training.”

Qi Qingqi scoffed at that, glaring in Liu Qingge’s and Luo Binghe’s direction again. “That makes it no better, to see they have used such an excuse!”

Isn’t this all a bit ridiculous!? Shen Yuan thought to himself with a sigh, none of this had been an issue before! His parents hadn’t shown any discomfort at his, Liu Qingge’s, and Luo Binghe’s close friendship, and even he and his peak siblings behaved similarly! Why was this becoming an issue all of a sudden?

“What excuse?” Liu Qingge scoffed, raising a brow at Qi Qingqi’s glare. “He needed to learn proper techniques and skills. Who else would teach him?”

“Someone of his same domination,” Jiong Qingshi chimed in, baritone voice holding a flat tone. “As is proper. Even if Ling Shou’s structure allows for different rules of etiquette, Bai Zhan and the other peaks do not change their rules, neither does society. If Qinglin-shidi needed to learn, he should have been directed to someone appropriate.”

“Jiong-shixiong,” Shen Yuan snapped, clearing his throat slightly to calm his tone. “It was my Da-Shijie and my Shizun who directed me to Qingge-shixiong to learn from because he was the best to learn from. They didn’t wish to take any risks with my training, surely that can be seen as an exception.”

He turned his head to Shang Qinghua, hoping he was making the proper expression as the An Ding Peak Head Disciple leaned forward slightly and whispered. “It can be…but I think they actually have a point here…”

What!? What kind of betrayal–.

“Even if it was an exception, it gives them no right to behave onward outside of that circumstance!” Qi Qingqi sneered. “Even if it was when you were younger, both of you should have known as the years passed that decorum should be kept properly!”

“Qi-shijie–.”

“We have every right to behave as we please with our soulmate.” Liu Qingge growled, earning the shocked reactions of everyone in the room. Including Shen Yuan and Luo Binghe. “If he is uncomfortable, he would tell us, otherwise, there have been and will be no issues.”

Qi Qingqi looked between the three flabbergasted. Soulmates!? All three of them!? Shen Qingqiu hadn’t told her about that!

“Soulmates?” Jiong Qingshi asked, not directed to Liu Qingge or Luo Binghe, but to Shen Yuan.

“Yes, shixiong,” Shen Yuan cleared his throat slightly, a little embarrassed now. He hadn’t thought that they would tell anyone outside of those necessary! How was he supposed to react to Liu Qingge dropping a bombshell like that?! How would Luo Binghe react later? “We found out some time ago.”

The monk hummed flatly, looking between the three before nodding. “Very well, if Yue-shixiong and Shen-shixiong know then there is no issue.”

“Good,” Luo Binghe rolled his eyes, muttering under his breath as he strode forward, Liu Qingge already walking out of the room when the young demon took Shen Yuan by the sleeve as he said. “Then we will go hunt for the serpents now, this one wishes his martial siblings luck. Don’t get eaten.” 

Chapter Text

The estate wasn't too large, big enough that it took them some time to traverse it entirely, but it at least wouldn't take them all day. Shen Yuan led more to the front, ears twitching minutely as his tail slapped his ankle every now and then. His senses were heightened like this, even with Cang Qiong's mandatory scent-reducing soaps and oils, he could still smell Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe clearly behind him.

Likewise, the glowing trails of silhouettes of his Shixiong were also good indicators that they were still close to him. It was still rather strange, to be able to see, at least in some form. Some days, if he utilized his abilities, it left him with a headache and overwhelmed, and other days if he didn't use it at least once, he felt anxious and stiff.

It was such a strange duality.

Thankfully, today was not one of those days for either, and he was pleasantly neutral to both sides. At that moment, his attention was taken by the trail of resentful energy he'd finally found. The scattered pieces were so fragmented and small that it was hard to locate, and they only seemed to be moving?

That is, he was focused if it wasn't for these fucking brutes being all too interested in his ears and tail!

He was being nice, he was being a decent Shidi, and he wasn't utilizing the claws he learned he possessed a few days ago when he shredded his favorite book on accident—his heart still hurt from the accident, he would commit a proper burial for his fallen literature later—But damn it! They were fucking tickling him at this point!

But he knew, oh he knew; if he let either of them know that...Luo Binghe would tease him mercilessly, and he'd never again know peace, and if Liu Qingge would find a way to merge it with their training! He'd probably pester his ears and tail during sword training or archery, he might even encourage Luo Binghe to do the same during hand-to-hand!

So, no. No, he would not be saying a damn thing. He'd wait it out. It wasn't like they were touching weirdly or inappropriately, more like curious children seeing a strange new beast for the first time. Take that Qi-shijie, she and her baseless accusations! A careful brush of a finger against the tip of his ear, a gentle caress of the bushy and white fur of his tail, grazes at most, and a pet at worst.

Nothing weird about it! Just three bros trying to figure out why one of them looked like an anime catboy—ugh never mind, he'd rather not be compared to that, Qinghua would never let him live it down—Normally, he'd be inclined to let them, but right now, when he was trying to focus on the trail ahead and not squirm from the ticklish feeling. He was going to claw them! But he couldn't! Then they'd have dirt on him! And he'd be screwed!

It also didn't help that he knew for a matter of fact that neither of the fuckers was ticklish. Screw whatever training they did, why did it have to fry whatever nerves needed to feel ticklish? It was biased and mean, and now he had to pay for it!

However, a particularly heavier pet to the base of his left ear left the appendage twitching and flattening against his skull. Huh, that felt even weirder than before! Luo Binghe's eyes widened at the reaction, finally taking note of the way Shen Yuan's shoulders were hunched and he seemed to be worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.

He hadn't even noticed he was touching the fluffy ears until it flattened against his Shidi's skull and the youth stopped dead in his tracks, and it seemed from the way Liu Qingge's hand practically punched himself in the side from how quickly he retracted the unconscious offender, he was just as oblivious to his own curious groping. Shit! They literally just got upset with that haughty Qi Qingqi over her accusations! Now they were behaving like this unconsciously!?

"Shidi, sorry, sorry," Luo Binghe amended first, quickly as he watched his Shidi's expression. He wasn't sure if the appendages were sensitive or if they were similar to another limb like the arm or leg. Then again, he knew that some people had different sensitive spots, such as the earlobe being an...ahem, erogenous zone to some. "Neither of us realized that we...We didn't hurt you?" It felt awkward to apologize for, because truthfully, aside from the possibility that he'd harmed Shen Yuan...he wasn't sorry. Not in the slightest, truthfully, he wanted to feel that soft white fur beneath his hand again. It was such a stark difference from his Shidi's raven hair, and even softer, it was hard to not want to touch it.

Shen Yuan reached up and scratched at his own ear, trying to shoo away that strange feeling. It wasn't particularly ticklish when Luo Binghe did it, but it hadn't felt...bad. A little surprising, and it left his ear tingling in a strange numbness when his hand pulled away so suddenly, but it wasn't bad. "No, no Shixiong didn't hurt this one..."

The hesitance in his tone wasn't comforting, and Liu Qingge immediately felt like kicking himself in the ass before asking sternly. "Shen Yuan. Did we make you uncomfortable? Don't lie. We apologize, but we need to know if we did so we can correct ourselves."

Ah, so noble Qingge! Shen Yuan couldn't help but chuckle. His Shixiong had always been this way, so straightforward and proper! He was truly a gentleman even if he acted like a brute, how on earth hadn't he married back then? Or even in the novel? Surely he had to have a lot of admirers? Shen Yuan may be blind, but he clearly remembered how pretty Liu Qingge was! Was he just rejecting every advance sent his way?

"Don't beat yourself up, Shixiong," Shen Yuan couldn't help but shake his head fondly, he wanted to reach behind and smooth out the fur of his tail. Liu Qingge had yanked his hand away so abruptly that it left the hairs uneven and sticking up. But he felt it was rather improper to do right now, so he shifted from side to side. "This one wasn't uncomfortable...only a little ticklish—."

FUCK!

Eyes glinting mischievously, now properly reassured they hadn't crossed a boundary, Luo Binghe leaned minutely closer as he grinned devilishly. "Ticklish? This Shixiong wasn't aware that Yuan-shidi had such traits," He purposefully let himself touch that tantalizing ear, humming soundly at the softest of the fur, before teasing the fine hairs at the tip of the canal and grinning only slightly wider when he watched as Shen Yuan hunched his shoulders again as his ear twitched.

"Binghe-shixiong!" Shen Yuan hissed softly when Luo Binghe gently pinched the smooth tip between his thumb and index finger, finding the inner canal to be a soft pink that slowly spread to the skin beneath the fluffy white fur. Interesting. "I'll claw you!" He made his point by reaching up and grabbing Luo Binghe's wrist, letting his claws carefully scratch the skin of his Shixiong's hand, but Luo Binghe wasn't fazed.

"Don't be a naughty kitten, Yuan-shidi. Imagine if someone else knew. What if they used it against you in a fight? Thank your Shixiongs for being attentive."

"Screw you!"

"It could be used against you in a fight," Liu Qingge murmured. Eyeing Shen Yuan's swaying tail and the way the end wrapped around his hand when he instinctively reached out to touch it. "Perhaps it should be something we work on. The same with outside distractions of sounds. You said your senses were enhanced like this, yes? That means you're hearing, smell, and touch will be more likely to bother you when you fight."

Yes, maybe they were trying to help—in their own strange and annoying way—but Shen Yuan couldn't help but feel affronted! They were supposed to be focusing on the mission! And his Shixiongs were just bullying him! "No! No more training, Qingge-shixiong!"

"If this serves as an issue, then it's necessary."

"Bully! You're both bullies!"

Luo Binghe chuckled as he released the tip of Shen Yuan's ear, humming when the appendages flattened against Shen Yuan's head, but instead of letting go of his wrist, Shen Yuan hissed softly when the Bai Zhan disciple tried to pull it away. Scratching it a little harder before biting down on the calloused skin of his palm.

It brought back an erratic memory, one of which he had his Shifu tied up, bound by immortal binding cables, and fearfully scurrying away from him on the bed he'd laid him on after finding him in the Water Prison, having killed his own brother...father. It wasn't a memory he was particularly fond of, as it only served as a reminder of what he'd done...of the pain he inflicted on his Shifu that he could never take back, but now, it reminded him of what else happened there.

His Shifu had bitten down on his hand when Luo Binghe touched him, sinking his teeth so deep that it had drawn blood, and instead of pulling his hand away and demanding his Shifu spit out the blood before it could go down his throat. He'd shoved his hand into his Shifu's mouth and reveled when his teacher had been forced to swallow every drop before sputtering and choking, and then Luo Binghe used the bloodmites to–.

He didn't want to think about it anymore. Regardless, the sight of his Shidi's teeth gently pressing into his skin brought back those memories, and he nearly yanked his hand out too harshly when he felt the dull pinpricks of fangs against his skin.

Omega fangs truly were dull in comparison to Alphas, especially demons' fangs, they could hardly pierce the skin, and not without a considerable amount of effort—a fact that did not help Luo Binghe's darkened conscience—but like this, Shen Yuan's fangs were a little sharper, a little longer, but not a considerable amount that Luo Binghe would have—should have—taken account of earlier.

They reminded him of a child's fangs; when a young Alpha first presented and their teeth grew in to replace the ones lost in childhood, only to lose that set as well once they reached adulthood and grew in the true fangs that bore the essence of their being and would allow them to mark another person as their mate.

Baby fangs...his Shidi had tiny but sharp little baby fangs...

Liu Qingge raised a brow at Shen Yuan. Their Shidi wasn't a biter, at least not from what he knew, but when Luo Binghe's gentle tugging didn't encourage Shen Yuan to release his grip, the Bai Zhan Head Disciple stepped forward to address the situation. Shen Yuan's ears were pinned back, and his tail was swaying back and forth almost...playfully? He wasn't familiar with a cat's body language, but didn't most animals' tails sway back and forth when they were feeling playful?

Or was that when they were hunting? He didn't see much of body language when he hunted. The animal never had long to actually take on the proper body language before they were slain by his blade.

"Yuan?"

Shen Yuan only answered with a soft yowl, muffled by the hand in his mouth, his hands were still wrapped around Luo Binghe's wrist, clawing at it slightly, leaving dim red lines on his skin but nothing more. Neither Bai Zhan disciple knew what to do, they knew that their Shidi had a tendency to get overwhelmed in certain situations but was this one of those situations?

Luo Binghe didn't try to pull his hand away again, his Shidi wasn't biting hard enough. It was fine. He wasn't scared like last time, he wouldn't break the skin unknowingly, and even if he did somehow, Luo Binghe would make sure he spit out every single drop of blood. "Yuan-shidi?"

Shen Yuan softly growled this time, ears twitching as they perked up, his tail swaying slowly before it encircled Liu Qingge's ankle and his claws receded into his nailbeds, a strange feeling, but similar to putting on a nail guard. Something he wouldn't be doing ever again anytime soon, forgive him Shijies, but dressing up would just have to exclude that!

His gums ached from his teeth. It happened every time he let his form shift, but that ache hadn't gone away at all, and with having been biting his lip for so long, his teeth started to ache when there wasn't any pressure on them. "Hurths..." He mumbled around the hand in his mouth, a little reluctant to let go, the pressure felt soothing, and the hand smelled like lotus.

Confused, the Bai Zhan disciples shared a glance before they deciphered what Shen Yuan had said. "Hurts? Is Shidi in pain?" Luo Binghe tried to coax his hand out of his Shidi's mouth again, but Shen Yuan only bit down a little harder before stilling. His face flushed when he realized exactly what he was doing before releasing his Shixiong's hand and reaching up to bite his own finger as he tried to scurry away.

Cute...

Wait what?

Liu Qingge didn't let him get far, blocking his path as he asked. "What hurts?"

"My teeth..." Shen Yuan admitted grumpily. It wasn't his fault that he'd been bullied to the point he didn't think clearly and had bitten his Shixiong's hand! Nor was it his fault that the dull pressure of his teeth against Luo Binghe's hand actually felt nice and dulled the ache! "My canines...they change every time I shift...hurts..."

"Open your mouth," when Shen Yuan did so, Liu Qingge was more alert to where he touched as he peered inside, finding Shen Yuan's tongue gently pressing against the bottom canines before twitching to the top in a periodic dance. "Hm, like when Alphas' baby fangs grow in."

"Does it hurt this much for Alphas?"

"Normally it's uncomfortable," Luo Binghe stated, mulling it over to himself as he ran his tongue across his own teeth. His adult fangs had grown in early, personally, the ache that came with it hadn't been a bother for him, but he'd still been given something to help with it, even if he didn't use it. "But it doesn't last long for us, likely because our change is permanent and not a periodic thing that happens with a shift." He reached into his qiankun pouch and pulled out a silicone hollow cylinder.

"Here, Yuan-shidi put this on your finger and chew on it." Shen Yuan sent him a perplexed look, but Luo Binghe merely chuckled as he pressed the silicone against his cheek before Shen Yuan took it. The hollow cylinder was designed for someone of his size, so it didn't fit on just one of Shen Yuan's fingers, but two, and when he actually brought it up to his mouth to chew on, his left ear twitched slightly before he bit down harder on it.

"Does that help it?" Liu Qingge asked, watching as Shen Yuan's biting turned to suckling. The Ling Shou Head Disciple made a soft chirrup sound in the back of his throat that caught both Bai Zhan disciples by surprise and nailed them directly in the chest.

"Yeah, let's go, I think I know where the first fragment is, it's closer by now." Shen Yuan utilized his oversized sleeve, using it to hide his hands and fingers so it only seemed like he was keeping his sleeve to his face rather than chewing on the equivalent of a child's teething toy.

Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge followed at a further distance this time, thankfully not having caught Shen Yuan's attention just yet as he hurried down the hall anyway, rather oblivious to the inner turmoil of his friends.

Qi Qingqi wasn't right! Nope! No way, no how! They would not admit it! Shen Yuan was their friend first! They had helped him learn to fight, use his sword, and master archery. If anything, else they were brothers in arms! They fought together on the battlefield and Shen Yuan had even—. He'd taken a hit that most cultivators would have killed themselves over for them, why wouldn't they be grateful? Shouldn't they be so close to him? If not to protect him, what about if he was all alone? Shouldn't a life debt be repaid, even if he never asked for it, or called it such a thing? What else were they supposed to do but be close to him?

But she wasn't right! They weren't being improper! Shen Yuan would have told them so if they were! He was blind! What did they want them to do?! Not help him, not reach out for his hand just in case even though they knew he could navigate just fine on his own, not press closer to him just in case!?

This time was no different! They had just been...curious, that was all. What if having new appendages like that caused issues for him? Shouldn't they be attentive Shixiongs and make sure that nothing happens, or better yet, prepare him just in case something does? Whose fault else but fates that his ears and tail happen to just be softer than anything else they've ever touched before?

They weren't being inappropriate! Qi Qingqi was just going off baseless accusations! Shen Yuan hadn't been upset with them, and could they be blamed for staring a little longer when he pouted? His teeth just hurt! How mean would they have been if they didn't try to help? So, what of how his ears twitched and tail curled around their legs every now and then, so what of how cute—.

Wait what?!

It seemed the revelation only came moments apart from each other, as Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe both looked at each other, the hue on both of their faces only exploded further and both looked away with either a dramatic cough or steely expression.

Unfortunately, with their...dramatics, they soon realized when they fixed their gazes that Shen Yuan was no longer in front of them. Shit! Both sped off after the realization, surging down the hallway until they turned the corner and found Shen Yuan speaking with a woman.

The woman made a quiet sound of fright before reaching for her necklace, snapping it off quickly before handing it over to Shen Yuan: who took it with a grateful bow before the lavish woman rushed off.

"Yuan-shidi?"

"It's the jewelry," he hummed, fiddling with the necklace before wrapping it around his hand. "Tang-ye gave many of his wives and concubines jewelry like this as courting gifts, and everyone who has since worn one has likely been one of the victims if not a victim of being too close to that particular woman."

"Could it be on purpose?" Liu Qingge grunted, gazing down at the jewelry. It was too extravagant, pretty almost in some aspect, but he didn't like gold against pale skin or the dark purples of the Ling Shou uniform. It didn't look right. Silver would be better, jade perhaps. "Would Tang-ye know that they held resentful energy and brought the serpents to his estate?"

Shen Yuan hummed shortly; it was hard to tell. Tang-ye didn't seem like the type, but at the same time, a wolf in sheep's clothing was not uncommon. "We need to find the rest before nightfall, then we can confront him. It's best if we make sure no one else is attacked, and with these, we can use it as bait." Shen Yuan rattled the gold chain gently for example. Luo Binghe pursed his lips at that, quickly reaching out to take the jewelry himself.

"Binghe-shixiong?"

"Let this one carry it," he grinned a bit, eyeing Liu Qingge when the head disciple raised a brow at him. "If it's used as bait, this one can work better under those circumstances than...someone else."

"We don't need live bait," Shen Yuan amended, his brows furrowing at Luo Binghe's statement. What had he meant by that? "If it's the pieces of jewelry leading the serpents here, then we only need the jewelry, no one needs to put themselves at risk."

"Just a precaution, Yuan-shidi."

Shen Yuan hummed at that, taking the lead again as he searched out the other pieces of jewelry, chewing discreetly on the hollow silicone. They found five more pieces, a ring, a necklace, a bracelet, a finger guard, and a hairpiece. Each one of the women was more than ready to give up their gifts from their husband, happy to do whatever was necessary to rid their city and themselves of this threat.

"Is that all of them, Yuan-shidi?" Luo Binghe asked, eyeing the pieces of jewelry warily. They looked familiar, and that alone was unsettling enough.

"I can't sense anymore in the estate," he murmured, looking around a bit as he squinted his eyes. He was getting tired like this, his Song-shixiong hadn't been a liar when he said that having one's spiritual animal traits out for too long drained one's energy, but he hadn't expected it like this! "That should be...all of them."

With a sigh and a strange dull sensation that reminded him of dunking his head underwater only to then come up too quickly, lodging some of the water in his ears, he let his ears and tail recede until there was no difference between him and another human. He had to pop his ears to get that cotton feeling out, but it went away just as quickly as it came.

"Yuan?"

"I'm fine," Shen Yuan waved him off quickly, already recognizing that tone. "Let's go talk to Tang-ye now."

Liu Qingge hummed sharply at that, leading the way this time with Luo Binghe trailing to his side, analyzing the trinkets in his hands warily. He knew these trinkets, but he couldn't remember where from. Back then, after the fall of Cang Qiong, and after having laid his Shifu down to rest in the Holy Mausoleum and failing again and again to resurrect him, he'd gone mad.

It was a harsh truth and not one he was proud of, but he'd lost every sense of his humanity along with his sanity. He killed without reason or mercy, decimated those in his path, and took on wives carelessly. Those who betrayed him met a fate crueler than death no matter who that person was to him. There had been very few safe from his wrath, more so the first members of his harem: who had been smart enough to take what they had as his wives and flee to one of the other estates and live out their lives comfortably there, away from their deranged husband.

While others only seemed to tempt fate at his feet. A few wives had believed they could change him, and restore what fractures of his heart remained, and others truly only saw their union as a means to take him down. It failed for all of them. But there still had been moments of clarity in his haze of bloodlust and emptiness that he saw true meaning in some of the relationships he gathered, giving worthless gifts of jewelry and rare treasures that came to his hand like moths to a flame.

A part of him wondered if these trinkets in his hands were one of those gifts that he'd given so thoughtlessly, truly only as a means to increase the number of his harem and shut up whatever woman dared to cry to him over her woes of his coldness towards her.

He could admit his faults, and admit that in the past, he was no more than a carnivorous beast without morals or value. A man worth every gem in the Jianghu, and yet without the personality and heart to match.

How disappointed his Shifu would have been...

Looking at these pieces now, he couldn't help but scoff. Worthless junk that held no sentimental value. He never thought himself a truly emotional man, and yet here he was, scoffing at courting gifts given to others by a man he didn't even know. Gazing up, for a moment he couldn't help but wonder how Liu Qingge or Shen Yuan would have reacted to his gifts back then. Would they even have accepted them?

Liu Qingge...absolutely not, he would've thrown any piece of jewelry given right back at his face, likely offended by such a delicate piece of finery. Something that didn't match him in the slightest. Now...gifts of slain beasts, of his many successful hunts; perhaps would be better suited. Then again, Liu Qingge would likely prefer to be taken on those hunts himself, a gift twice over then.

Shen Yuan, however, was too kind to refuse a gift. Even if he didn't like it. He would have likely thanked him, perhaps even tried to convince him to gift the treasure to someone who could appreciate it more than him, but with the right convincing; he would have accepted it, maybe even worn it. But thinking of Shen Yuan wearing something like this...gauzy and almost ridiculous in proportion, stark gold against pale skin didn't settle pleasantly in his gut.

He'd look better in silver, jade more than anything. Earthy tones and gentle colors, even darker colors would suit him, his Shifu had always worn black and dark green back then, and he looked positively ethereal. Even now, plum-purple, and olive-green suited Shen Yuan's complexion well. But gauzy outfits and jewelry...wouldn't suit him; he'd look amazing in it all...but Luo Binghe already knew he wouldn't be comfortable.

"Luo Binghe," Liu Qingge snapped, eyeing the younger man questioningly. For what was he staring? "What are you staring at?"

Ah, he'd been caught it seemed. Smiling charismatically, he said. "This one was merely wondering how Qingge would look with gold jewelry." Shameless and without a hint of remorse, Luo Binghe's tone and expression made Liu Qingge falter before rearing back to slap him across the back of the head, only for the heavenly demon to avoid the hit with a laugh.

"Shixiong! Don't bully me! This one was just curious how Qingge would look in finery, hasn't he ever been curious?"

Liu Qingge's face turned another shade of color, bright and hot, he ground his teeth as he chased the wayward disciple. "Whose curious? What shamelessness are you speaking of Luo Binghe!?"

"What's shameless?" Luo Binghe chuckled, dancing around each punch thrown and even absorbing a few into his back when he couldn't properly dodge. "More shameless than revealing to our martial siblings of our status? How forward I must say, Qingge! This one truly was surprised you had it in you, however, I'm not complaining~"

"You—!"

From behind them, Shen Yuan choked slightly, but even he looked away when he felt the color rise to his cheeks. An unfortunate circumstance as Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge continued to dodge and throw hits at each other around him, leaving him unable to hide precisely from their eyes. Then again, neither could hide from the other or him either, so it wasn't particularly unfair.

"Yes, I," Luo Binghe teased, enjoying the heat practically steaming off Liu Qingge's face. He could almost swear he saw steam. "Who else other than I and Yuan-shidi is Qingge's soulmate? Is there someone else we should know about, Qingge?"

"Do you want me to break your legs!?"

"Yuan-shidi!" Luo Binghe whined, throwing his head back to avoid being punched in the temple, instead taking the hit to his jaw instead. "Qingge is bullying me!"

"Whose bullying?" Liu Qingge growled, taking the opportunity of Luo Binghe's shamelessness to sweep his legs out from under him, causing the jewelry he was holding to scatter across the floor while Liu Qingge used his legs to pin him down. "Your Shixiong is only teaching you when to shut up!"

"Shidi!"

"Shut up!"

Shen Yuan sighed heavily at their banter, one day, couldn't they just go one day—hell! An hour! Couldn't they just go an hour without trying to punch each other!? There was no way Alphas were just like this, these two had to be a different breed—literally—his parents never acted like this!

"You two," he chided, stepping forward to pick up the jewelry before it got crushed beneath the two Bai Zhan disciples. "Quit acting so brutishly. You'll give yourselves a reputation at this point."

And not a good one! Luo Binghe; the demon lord and the brute! Liu Qingge; the war god and the brute! Imagine how ridiculous that would sound!

"Yuan-shidi," Luo Binghe whined, pouting when Shen Yuan barely acknowledged him, picking up the pieces without even turning his head in their direction. "I'm being bullied! Do you not want me to defend myself? Should I just let Qingge beat me up?"

"If it will shut you up!" Liu Qingge growled, earning a sneer from Luo Binghe.

"Binghe-shixiong teases too much," Shen Yuan sighed, finally coming over to kneel beside Luo Binghe's head and gently press on Liu Qingge's chest to encourage him off. "Of course, you'll egg Qingge-shixiong on acting like this, but isn't that what you want?"

Luo Binghe laughed at the question, leaning his head slightly so his nose could brush against Shen Yuan's knee, exactly like a puppy begging for treats. "Even if it is, Shidi. Will you let Qingge bully me?"

"You're an instigator!"

"Qingge wounds me!" He made his point by kneeing Liu Qingge in the back, forcing him off balance so Luo Binghe could twist his leg with his arm and flip them over. "Shouldn't he be kinder to his soulmate? You've already introduced us as such! Why don't you—!"

Shut up by the sudden leg around his neck, Luo Binghe was brought down by the calves suddenly constricting his airways. He laughed all the same, practically crushing Liu Qingge's thighs in his grip while the two kicked and hit each other.

"Alright, alright!" Shen Yuan cut in, hitting both of them on the arm and leg to try and make them let go. "Enough! Enough! What are you two doing acting like this? Cut it out!"

"Ah! Daozhang?"

Shen Yuan felt his soul practically leave his body at the voice. Of course, Tang-ye just had to find them first! Smiling as calmly as possible and nearly teleporting in front of the estate lord, Shen Yuan said. "Ah, hello! Forgive this one and his Shixiongs, there was a bit of a...ahem, heated discussion." He bowed politely to the shorter man, trying to make sure none of the jewelry fell out of his hands. That would just be salt in the wound! "This one actually wished to speak with Tang-ye about this jewelry he'd given some of his wives."

Tang-ye eyed the young men quickly correcting themselves on the ground, stilling shoving each other and throwing small hits. Ah, the energy of the youth! However, he smiled when Shen Yuan showed him the jewelry, eyeing it for a moment before snapping his fingers and speaking brightly. "Ah yes, of course! This one bought the finery at an auction in the western province near the Borderlands. It was a rather secluded thing, didn't even have a proper name, but this lord had seen so many lovely trinkets that his wives would love, so he'd gotten as many as possible."

So, it truly was just a mistake. Shen Yuan felt a little relieved at that, he wasn't in the mood for playing detective any more than he already had to and trying to bust a lord of an entire city would have just been troublesome.

"Was Tang-ye aware that this jewelry has traces of resentful energy within the gemstones?" By the sound of the sharp inhale between the lord's teeth, he could assume that he hadn't. "Alone, small, trace amounts aren't dangerous, but cumulative with as many pieces of jewelry as this, it's likely what has called many of the serpents to your estate during the attacks."

Tang-ye cried out in horror, the short man falling to his knees as he hugged Shen Yuan's legs, making the youth stiffen slightly. "Ah! Daozhang! Daozhang! I didn't know! I truly didn't know!" He moaned and wailed repeatedly, making for a rather sorry sight that Shen Yuan was a little grateful he couldn't see. "My poor wives! Daozhang! You must protect them! It was this foolish one that put them in danger! Daozhang, please—!"

"Enough of your crying!" Luo Binghe growled, all but trying to kick the lord off of Shen Yuan's legs if not for the Ling Shou disciple putting an arm out in front of him to stop him. The demon sneered at the sight of the sniveling creature, ordering, "Have you no shame? Clinging to our Shidi like this? Crying and moaning? Get up already! If you're so concerned for your wives go to them yourself! Don't demand things from my Shidi!"

Shen Yuan hissed softly through his teeth, slapping Luo Binghe's chest a little sharper at his words. Now was not the time to be cruel! He couldn't necessarily blame the lord for reacting like this, while he wasn't comfortable being clung to, at least he could be reassured that this man hadn't purposefully put any of his wives in mortal danger and it truly had been a terrible situation born of good intentions.

Tang-ye, embarrassed and ashamed, pushed himself off the floor quickly, bowing reverently to Shen Yuan while the Ling Shou disciple only clicked his tongue and led the man to stand straight again. "Please go check on your wives, if you see any of them wearing anything that you got from that auction, please have them remove and give it to a Bai Zhan or Ling Shou disciple so they may come give it to us."

"Yes, yes of course Daozhang, thank you." Tang-ye made sure to compose himself, but when he saw the jewelry in Shen Yuan's hands, he counted the pieces before stilling. "Daozhang, you're missing two pieces."

"Two?" Liu Qingge grunted. They already had five! Shen Yuan hadn't sensed anyone else within the estate with such jewelry anyhow! "Where are the other women who have the other two pieces."

"An-er and A-Ju...They both like to go out to the market when it's sunny out and they normally come back by nightfall."

"It will be nightfall in less than an hour." Luo Binghe hissed, peering out the window to watch as the sun fell further west. "Where do they normally go? We need to go get them and retrieve the final pieces so we can trap the serpents."

Tang-ye nodded hurriedly, all but at the point of begging again, but one glance from Liu Qingge made him reconsider. "They both tend to go to the east end of the market near the rouge and flower vendors, An-er's brother's husband works in the rouge shop, and they visit them for tea every now and then."

"I'll go there then to find them," Shen Yuan stated, handing the jewelry back to Luo Binghe as he reached into his qiankun pouch and retrieved his bow and quiver, the small jade butterfly charm on the lower limb chiming softly as it hit the bamboo. "I can be faster at night just in case it takes too long, and you two need to prepare the rest of Bai Zhan and Ling Shou for the serpents. If they act accordingly, they'll appear directly at dusk, and they'll come for the strongest source of resentful energy they can find."

Before Luo Binghe or Liu Qingge could even put up an argument, Shen Yuan was already leaving, practically sprinting out of the hallway and to the gates of the estate. Xiao Yingzi and the other horses had been set up in the stables outside of the gates, so he ran straight for the stables and whistled sharply. Xiao Yingzi responded accordingly, whinnying and stomping as Shen Yuan opened the gate for him.

They didn't have time for his saddle, so, he merely hoisted himself onto his companion's back and spurred him on with a flick of the reigns. "Go in front of the sun, Yingzi, to the east end of the market." Shen Yuan ordered, steering Xiao Yingzi until he felt the setting sun beat against his back. If they could settle it all tonight, then no one else would have to get hurt, they just had to make it on time.

There were some people startled by the stampedeing stallion, others had seen him coming and moved to the side, Shen Yuan focused on the scents around him, finding more often than not that they were rather pungent perfumes and heavy incense, but when he caught the familiar scent of rouge and flowers, he followed it.

Dismounting from Xiao Yingzi in a swift move, he shouted. "An-er? A-Ju?! Your husband has sent me!" He wasn't sure if he was shouting in the right place, or even if he was in front of the right shops, but when he heard a door open and the twinkling of jewelry against jewelry, he had a sneaking suspicion that he had the right trail.

"Daozhang?" The first to emerge from the shop was a demure woman, dressed in finery and with a painted face. Behind her, another woman, shorter and fanning herself with a delicately embroidered fan, came to her side. "Our husband has sent you?"

Oh, thank the heavens. Shen Yuan couldn't help but sigh in relief, he could feel the sun setting lower over his chin, they didn't have much time.

"Yes, Madams." He bowed politely, however, the gesture didn't last long as he stepped closer and tried to lead them over to Xiao Yingzi. "I ask that you forgive this one for the sudden disturbance and ineloquence, but this matter is urgent. If this one may ask of you both, do either of you have jewelry that your husband gave to you from an auction in the western province near the Borderlands? I'm afraid this one must ask you to give it to me, it will help us eradicate the plague upon Zigong."

"Ah yes!" The taller woman, reached for her belt, untying a golden pendant in the shape of a dragon. The other nodded silently unclasping the golden hair comb from her hair before handing them both over to Shen Yuan. "Is this what Daozhang speaks of?"

Shen Yuan immediately sensed the resentful energy from each piece, taking it quickly and tucking them into his sleeves before saying, "Thank you, this one now only asks that you get atop Yingzi so I may take you back to the estate before nightfall."

Xiao Yingzi snorted softly, but upon Shen Yuan's gentle coaxing, he stilled into a reluctant contentment. However, even as both women nodded and allowed Shen Yuan to help them onto the stallion's back, holding onto each other and the reigns fearfully.

"Yingzi," Shen Yuan clicked his tongue, and Xiao Yingzi started the fast trot back to the estate. It wasn't difficult for Shen Yuan to keep up, a steady pace as he surveyed the area around them. People were already shutting themselves into their houses, he could hear mothers calling for their children to come inside, and suddenly the barest warmth of the setting sun vanished from his sight.

The quiet woman murmured. "Daozhang...it's nightfall..."

Shen Yuan hissed tightly through his teeth. They were too far from the shops of the market now, and they were too close to the estate to turn back. "Madams, this one asks that you hold onto the reigns and each other tightly." He jumped in front of Yingzi, pressing his head against his companion's muzzle as he said. "Yingzi will take you back to the estate, when you get there, tell them that Qinglin has the final two pieces. Yingzi is fast, make sure you both hang on, he won't let anything happen to either of you."

"Daozhang—."

"This one asks for the Madams to trust me. if I travel with you, the resentful energy will lead the serpents to you as well." With that, Shen Yuan placed his hand against Xiao Yingzi's side, muttering softly until his steed snorted softly, and he was sure the spell had settled. "Yingzi has a spell on him, as long as you are with him, the serpents will not detect you, and they will not come near. Stay quiet until you reach the estate, and don't stop or turn back."

With a sharp whistle, Xiao Yingzi whinnied and charged off, An-er and A-Ju both squealed when Xiao Yingzi sped off so quickly, but Shen Yuan could hear them silence themselves before he too took off in the opposite direction.

Steading his hand over his bow strapped across his shoulder, Shen Yuan strode carefully closer and closer to the walls of the city. Not even a stone wall twenty feet high would stop a beast such as a Deadly Coiled Serpent, even if the gates were closed, and people hidden within their houses, creatures such as this, couldn't be stopped.

He was only proven right when he heard the telltale sound of hissing and scales slithering against stone. Hui Qu unsheathed itself from its sheathe upon Shen Yuan's hum, and the sound only seemed to draw the attention of the beasts that much more.

A low rasping sound came from his right, and then his left, and then directly in front of him. Clever, hunting in packs no matter the prey... Shen Yuan stepped closer and closer, listening to each rasp and hiss as the serpents began to overlap each other, circling him. Just the same as many snakes, but even more so than normal, Deadly Coiled Serpents were practically blind, similar to him, only able to see blurs of color.

Effectively useless at night. But they were terribly sensitive to light, hence why they only hunted at night. They traveled in packs, uncommon for most reptiles, but horrifyingly effective for their species. Anywhere they went, death was sure to follow, and most commonly in the way they were named.

With no further warning, the three serpents all coiled around each other, damn near trapping him in the undoubtedly spine-crushing bind, if not for his qinggong that allowed him his escape outside of the coil.

Shen Yuan took off at that, he could hear the serpents chasing him down, but that's what he wanted. Best to lead them out of the city to handle this, the less damage the better. Scaling the wall, he quickly found himself in the equivalent of a lion's den.

Or more accurately, a snake pit.

"Oh screw me."

Jaws snapped at him from all sides, and Shen Yuan found a use for Hui Qu; blinding the serpents close enough. The light aggravated the serpents, making them hiss and growl as most followed after him further into the hills around the city. There weren't many places to hide, then again, even if there were, they would be objectively useless.

With a sharp whistle, Hui Qu dove down, allowing him to jump onto his blade before a jaw the size of his torso clamped down on his leg. However, even with the advantage of height, it was almost entirely useless. These serpents could get to be at least one hundred feet in height, and from the way Shen Yuan could still hear and damn near feel the fangs and jaws snapping shut around him, it seemed that the serpents were just as familiar with their own height, and how to utilize it.

"Alright then," Shen Yuan sighed, pulling his bow off of his shoulder and necking it steadily. "Better to study you when you're dead then."

With a sharp twang, the arrow flew from the bowstring, hitting its target directly in the head, piercing through the skull and to the brain. When the corpse fell, there were sounds of growls and hissing, likely others having been crushed beneath their fallen brethren. With one of their own fallen, there was a moment of silence, before the pack of carnivorous serpents came right back with a renewed vigor.

Each arrow that flew fell another serpent, the corpses falling with resounding thuds as the others all went after their single target. Shen Yuan wasn't familiar with flying, so when one of the beasts was actually able to clamp its jaws around Hui Qu's hilt, he was unprepared and without the skill to free his blade and fly away at the same time.

FUCK!

The feeling of falling wasn't one common to him, though it was no less exhilarating. There was a moment of brief surprise, and then contemplation when time slowed and Shen Yuan only had that brief second to prepare for the jaws open wide to devour him.

That is until a blast of qi sent him hurling through the sky, but away from the jaws of death all the same. Hui Qu was able to right itself in time to catch him, allowing him to suffer only a tumble across the ground rather than a bone-shattering fall.

Zheng Yang had been rarely spoken of in the novel, aside from a few brief mentions of its elegance, but Shen Yuan knew; both from personal experience and from the experience of watching it for himself, that there were hardly any words to do justice just how skillfully Luo Binghe wielded that blade.

What remained of the hoard was felled in a few slashes of that blade, dark blue blood staining the ground as Luo Binghe's boots stomped against the ground when he landed. "Yuan-shidi!"

"Ah, good timing!" Standing from his fall, Shen Yuan found that despite the reprieve of the fall, his ankle had still suffered. Damn his luck! it would heal within a minute, but they didn't have the liberty of that time!

However, despite their usual banter, Luo Binghe surged forward within an instant. An arm beneath his knees and his back lifted him off the ground before another serpent could grab the both of them. Shit! Where are these things coming from!?

"How many are left?" Shen Yuan necked his arrow again, leaning over Luo Binghe's shoulder to aim, finding his target's energy and honing in on it, and another was felled by a well-shot arrow.

"Too many!" Luo Binghe shouted over the wind in his ears, landing in on the highest branch of one of the few trees left in the hills of the clearing. "There are still others in the city, and there seem to be more coming from the south."

"Where's Qingge-shixiong?"

"Defending the estate. The serpents came barely a few minutes after the Madams arrived with Yingzi, Xian Shu and Ku Xing are helping them defend the city, and An Ding is trying to evacuate as many civilians as possible."

"Any casualties?"

"Not yet."

Shen Yuan clicked his tongue as he tapped Luo Binghe's shoulder, encouraging him to let him stand on his own foot for a moment as he strapped his bow over his shoulder again before wrapping his hand around his foot, healing the sprain as quickly as possible.

"Yuan-shidi—."

"I'm fine," It wasn't comfortable when he put his foot down, but at least he knew he could run. "We need to find a way to get rid of these damn things."

Chapter Text

"Get them out of here!" Liu Qingge shouted over the screams of citizens fleeing for their lives, Cang Qiong disciples all facing off against serpents nearly twenty times their size, and all while with each one killed, it only seemed to be replaced by two more. "Now!"

"We're trying!" Shang Qinghua screeched, too terrified to think clearly about screaming at Liu Qingge of all people. But he couldn't find his bro anywhere! He hadn't returned to the estate, and he was not the animal guy between the two of them! "There are too many of them! We can't safely get the citizens from their houses without risking them getting swallowed!"

Liu Qingge snarled as he surged forward, beheading the serpent coming for one of his peak brothers before flying back over to Shang Qinghua, grabbing the An Ding Head Disciple by his arm, and pulling him away from the fight.

"Do what you can! These beasts can tear through stone like sand, if people stay inside without even trying to escape, they'll either be eaten or crushed!" He flicked his wrist and Cheng Luan flew from his hand, impaling the serpent scaling the wall of the estate near the servants' quarters. "Yuan said that they are sensitive to light! Blind them if you can!"

With that, he returned to the fray, shouting as he tore through every beast in his path. Luo Binghe had given him the pieces of jewelry that they had, and it seemed that Shen Yuan's hunch had been correct; the serpents practically swarmed him. But even with the numbers against him, he fell every one of them, and despite the majority coming after him, even a single serpent was almost too much for even a group of disciples to handle together.

He knew they shouldn't have brought Ku Xing and Xian Shu; they couldn't fight!

Ku Xing was a peak of monks, they may be skilled in mediation and spiritual prowess, which meant almost nothing aside from spiritual power when it came to a fight. Even then, there was only so much that spiritual power could do for a cultivator that had not yet reached Mid-Core Formation. Xian Shu, however, was a peak of women, cultivators through the arts of craft. Clothes, jewelry, and dance, truly cultivation meant only for those of a peaceful path, and while they had their own way of fighting and skillset with weapons both crafted for beauty and deadliness, in matters of battle such as this, they were dangerously out skilled and outnumbered by the beasts.

Thankfully, out of anyone here—even the disciples of Bai Zhan—the ones most well-adept at this matter was Ling Shou. Each disciple worked together skillfully, knowledgeable of beasts great and small, weapons varying in size and effect working as one, and every serpent that came after one was dealt death's hammer by the pack.

"Liu Qingge!" One of Ling Shou's jumped onto the scaffolding against the outer wall of the estate. He was a burly young man, with two scars near his scalp, landing in a crouch and damn near on all fours, with the eyes of a beast as well as the demeanor to match. "Where is our Xiao-Shidi!?"

Liu Qingge cringed at the question, something he himself just as much wanted to know. "Luo Binghe went to retrieve him!"

The burly young man snorted at him, snapping his jaws before horns sprouted along his scalp line and a thin tail snapped from his robes. "Leave our Xiao-Shidi alone with Bai Zhan, they said, nothing will happen they said." The young man jumped off the scaffolding, ululating loudly as he bodied the head of the serpent closest to them.

Liu Qingge ignored the surge of annoyance that flooded his head at the disciple's muttering, they hadn't the time for squabbling, but he wasn't one to forget so easily.

With only one thought, Cheng Luan flew from his hand again, going through serpents as a nail went through wood. Even as beasts came after him, he was nearly impossible to catch. Jumping over the serpents, forcing them to crowd each other and get in each other's way as he beheaded each of them. The numbers were slow to dwindle, and Liu Qingge couldn't help but wonder if there was a nest somewhere where these things were coming from.

However, when a blinding light came from the sword surging through the estate, over the city wall, and straight toward Liu Qingge, the head disciple couldn't help but smirk when two came right after, felling the blinded beasts before they could react violently.

"Shixiong!"

"About time!" Cheng Luan came back to his hand as Hui Qu returned to its master. He was at their side in a moment, all of them covered in some form of grime from the battle, but it mattered little once they stood together. "How many are coming?"

Luo Binghe scoffed as he looked around quickly, truly, each serpent was a match for at least five disciples head-on, and with their numbers, the more that were coming surely would kill most of them before they could slay them. "Too many from the south, if they make it over the wall, our numbers will die out before theirs do."

"We need to lead the rest in here out of the city," Shen Yuan necked his arrow, firing at will once the serpent was close enough, encouraged by the resentful energy surging around both the head disciple of Ling Shou and Bai Zhan from the jewelry pieces. "They'll only be encouraged here from the scent of the dead. Deadly-Coiled Serpents are pack creatures, if they scent one of their own here; dead or alive, they'll come to retrieve and avenge them."

"People are still trapped in their houses and the shops," Liu Qingge added, leaning forward only slightly to avoid Zheng Yang's tip as Luo Binghe sent his sword off to fell the serpent coming too close to the wall. "The serpents have already crushed half of the northern border of the city; people likely are either getting eaten or crushed beneath the rubble."

"Then we'll get them out," Luo Binghe chimed in eyeing the serpents warily before nodding. "One of us should hold onto the jewelry pieces to throw them off while the others work on getting the people out of the city and the dead over of the wall."

"Give them to me." Shen Yuan ordered, holding out his hand while he reached into his sleeve to display the two pieces he already had.

"No."

"Now's not the time to argue with me, Shixiong!" Shen Yuan groaned, pushing both Bai Zhan disciples a little to make his point clear. "I know the most about these things, and I'm faster, I don't have to fight them, just lead them out of here."

Luo Binghe glared slightly, but Liu Qingge clicked his jaw before handing over the other pieces, purposefully ignoring the betrayed countenance of his peak brother. "Fine. Don't fight them, stay as far away as possible, we'll be there in a moment."

With that, Shen Yuan unsheathed Hui Qu and took off before either of them could change their mind. Circling overhead, he held the pieces in his hand and sent a surge of qi into them, exemplifying their effect, the serpents slowly diverged their attention, hissing and trilling as they began to follow him.

"Shidi!" One of Ling Shou's shouted from the ground, scaling up the wall and running along the edge to reach her Shidi as she shouted. "What are you doing!?"

"Get the dead over the wall!" Shen Yuan shouted back, flying a little higher as he crouched on his blade, trying to manage his stability. "We need to get the serpents out of the city before more come! Including the corpses! And get everyone out of the rubble and their houses and shops!"

The woman whistled sharply as she pulled a guqin from her qiankun pouch, striking the strings harshly to throw back a beast trying to scale the wall to her Shidi. "You heard our Shidi!" She turned her back to her Shidi, shouting to the rest of her peak siblings: who quickly honed in on their martial siblings shouting. "Get the corpses over the wall and get everyone out of the city!"

There came a few hollers and growls as the rest of Ling Shou set to work, ignoring the serpents that were already beginning to follow the pull of the resentful energy. Others went straight to the rubble of houses and shops to check for survivors and dig out those who they found.

"Thank you, Shijie!"

The woman grinned at her Xiao-Shidi, calling out, "Do well, Xiao-Shidi!" She jumped from the wall, striking her guqin again as vines sprouted from the ground and threw the larger pieces of rubble away from the scene. "Be safe for your Shixiong and Shijie!"

With that, Shen Yuan decided that he had waited long enough, halting in the extra surge of resentful energy, he flew over the wall and soared out into the open field, hiding himself amongst the tallest trees that were still left standing. Even amongst the leaves and branches, he could still feel the rumble of bodies larger than even the tallest oak stampeding toward him, and more along the way joining their pack.

Even if I try to avoid all of them, there is no guarantee they won't go back to the city, the energy still might not be strong enough to distract all of them. There had to be at least over twenty all coiling around each other at the moment, and if there were more along the way, then he couldn't wait around. Don't kill me for this, Shixiong.

A whistle sounded through the air as pellets fell to the ground around the pit of beasts, the seeds burying themselves into the ground the moment they touched the grass, and then a blinding and holy light surged through the clearing, causing the pit of serpents to hiss and growl before a rumbling even stronger than they had caused resounded beneath the very earth. With only a moment of silence, vines as thick as the base of a redwood and with thorns sharper than daggers sprouted from the ground and immediately began to wrap around the coil.

Serpents hissed and growled as they tried to fight this enemy, only there was no fighting something that could not be hurt by jaws the size of a grown man's torso, or fangs as sharp as a sword. Even as their powerful bodies curled around this enemy, inadvertently stabbing themselves on the thorns, their deadly coil was of no use against Ox-Rose Vines.

Even harder to control than Oak-Boar Vines, and far more invasive of a species if left unattended, Shen Yuan joined his weapon on the ground as he kept a steady control over each limb. It was a rather coarse last resort, but in this situation, it was rather necessary. However, that didn't mean he could allow the vines to run amuck, if he did, there was no telling what further damage they could cause to the ecosystem around them, or even nearby cities and towns.

Each push and pull was a strain against his muscles, threading the essence of the vines through his meridians to control them as one would their own limb was strenuous. It was similar to wearing heavy armor and trying to move as you normally would inside of it, the joints were tighter, muscles overworking and stretching to try and accommodate this newfound weight and limitation, and most of all, you could still feel it all. Dulled and truly only the pressure of each blow in comparison to the actual pain one would feel in this situation, was still a limiting factor that left his movements sluggish enough to be dangerous.

Ox-Rose Vines were recommended to be altered by the means of two people if not more, as a way to ensure the safety of the ecosystem around them and the safety of the cultivator at the lead of the attack. However, Shen Yuan did not have such liberties as a second party, and he had no other option that could guarantee the safety of his marital siblings and Zigong City.

There was a tight pressure around his ankle, and Shen Yuan nearly jerked enough to break his concentration if not for the sake of his focus. He kept the vines in check as he reached down to grab whatever had curled around his leg, only to hear the quiet, and fearful hiss of the hatchling curled around his calf.

Faltering, Shen Yuan kneeled and pressed his hand to the ground, holding down the knot of serpents before hovering his hand over the hatchling. The smaller version of these beasts trilled, but as Shen Yuan sent out a steady stream of qi, the hatchling hesitantly pressed its snout against his hand.

A Deadly-Coiled Serpent hatchling was the same size as a fully grown snake, so as this miniature beast slowly uncurled from his leg and instead took its position around his arm, Shen Yuan could feel the weight it already possessed. In less than a year, this hatchling would be the size of an oak tree, at least a hundred feet tall, and with the carnivorous appetite to allow them the ability to hunt even the deadliest and most dangerous predators.

What irony, so sweet as a little lamb, and yet destined to become a ferocious wolf... That little serpent hissed at him again, as if asking him a question, one that he couldn't understand, and yet it was understood all the same.

Am I truly so much of a monster to you?

However, that question would have to go unanswered as a familiar rumbling came closer, and those who were trapped within the vines only seemed to growl louder. It was a distress call.

Shit!

Trees toppled over within seconds, and Shen Yuan had to duck and roll out of the way of an oak that would have crushed him had he not moved in time. However, with his distraction, the vines began to surge anew and only seemed to sprout more as they spread across the ground in ripples and waves of thick and black bodies and sharp red thorns.

Definitely not good!

He could feel that control snap within himself, and Shen Yuan groaned at the feeling of a cord snapping within his very veins, he kept running, avoiding the sea of vines that chased even him as the sound of approaching beasts and furious trills and growls filled the air. That hatchling in his arms curled around him, tail winding around his torso while the cold muzzle tucked closer to the open lapels of his robes.

Finally, Shen Yuan jumped into the air, letting himself float for a moment before Hui Qu sped out to catch him, stabilizing him in the air as he wobbled to balance himself. Cursing and hissing under his breath before sighing in relief. He'd have to get the vines back under control as quickly as possible, if they spread any more than they already had, then there was no telling what damage they could do!

Unfortunately, such plans would have to wait as a hefty snort behind him left him freezing. Almost fearful to turn around, the Ling Shou Head Disciple turned his head just enough to see the glowing yellow hazes in front of his eyes. The eyes of a beast, eye to eye with him, and with a low and furious trill bubbling in that deadly throat.

Before the beast could open its maw to swallow him whole, the hatchling in his arms trilled and reached out to that monster. Their muzzles brushed against each other as that low and dangerous sound suddenly turned to a questionable and near-quiet buzz. Shen Yuan stayed quiet as the beast and the hatchling seemed to communicate, that is until the beast curled its head around Shen Yuan's legs, and even before Shen Yuan could react in time to free himself, the serpent was carefully pulling him down until Hui Qu clattered gingerly on the grass and the hatchling hesitantly slithered out of his arms and onto the ground.

Shen Yuan listened as that beast curled around itself enough to lower itself to the ground to brush against the hatchling before shifting to still stand at his height, predatory eyes staring into the blind, and the Ling Shou disciple could hardly move as he realized.

A mother...

Such strange peace, however, was not upheld for long before the vines surged again and that beast growled before its head slammed into Shen Yuan's chest, sending him flying away from the ripple while the mother took the coil around her tail and began to fight with the carnivorous vines.

When he landed, he wheezed as he pushed himself up, already feeling the hatchling come back to curl around his leg as its mother fought viscously with the weapon of his creation.

Alright then, let's finish this.

Within the city, the northern end had been completely crushed, and the few serpents who remained were cut down just as quickly as they came. The rest took the advantage to leave and rejoin their pack outside of the walls, following the scent of their dead that the Ling Shou disciple threw over the wall.

Luo Binghe grunted as he cut down the last beast within his area, leaving the clean-up to Ling Shou before barging into what remained of the shop, shouting, "Out! Leave before you're crushed by the building!" Instantly, the people who had hidden inside ran out, screaming and making an unnecessary fuss while the heavenly demon scoffed at them.

He scoured through the wreckage of the houses and shops, pulling out those still alive and leading them in the direction of the rescue group with An Ding. Liu Qingge helped rid the city of the corpses, separating the remains of the serpents from the remains of the civilians. There was a thick scent of grime and blood, blue blood turned black, and entrails scattered across the ground in a gory sight that would leave most lightheaded and nauseous.

Luo Binghe, however, cared little for the gory sight, working faster than others to get his quadrant done. He couldn't hear the rumbling of the serpents anymore, which meant that Shen Yuan had led them far out, but that also meant he couldn't hear Shen Yuan.

Why couldn't these people be smarter? Who stays in their houses during an invasion like this? They moaned and begged so much earlier about being riddled with this blight for many days and nights, why was tonight any different? Were they truly so surprised that so many of their people were dying when all they did was sit there like a pheasant waiting to become dinner?

"Luo-shidi!" Great, him. Shang Qinghua carefully hurried through the debris and remains of the serpents; the thick fur-lined cloak he'd been wearing was now marred with gore. This ingrate couldn't fight properly, how'd he get blood on his clothes? "Almost everyone has been cleared from the city, we've sent them to the villages an hour or so from here for the time being, is there anyone else you've found?"

"Anyone else I find will be dead." Luo Binghe stated gruffly, rolling his eyes at the pathetic squeak of terror from the man behind him. Why had his Shifu put up with this leecher for so many years back then? And even now, being friends with him, what was the purpose? "Unless Shang-shixiong wishes to collect the dead bodies as well?"

"No! No, no, I'm sure that's not necessary!" Shang Qinghua coughed sheepishly, taking a few steps back away from the youth. What was with this young man and being so scary!? He wasn't supposed to blacken until after the Endless Abyss! "Jiong-shidi said that Ku Xing will handle the dead, so they may all have a proper burial ceremony."

"Mn," he turned his back to the An Ding Head Disciple, scanning his quadrant for a final time before unsheathing Zheng Yang. "Then there is nothing else that Shang-shixiong needs?"

"No! Nope all good! What is Luo-shidi going to do? Haven't the serpents already left?"

Of course, this idiot was too busy hiding to have heard the plan. "I'm retrieving Yuan-shidi, he lured the serpents away so we could evacuate the rest of the city and get rid of the corpses before it attracted the rest of the hoard."

"He did what!?" Shang Qinghua screeched, eyes practically bulging out of his head as he felt his stomach drop.

Bro!? Why!? What happened to communication!? Teamwork!? What's with you acting like this lately!? You gave me too many heart attacks back then too by acting like this! You never learned your lesson!?

"Mn. I'm going to get him."

"Please...please do." Shang Qinghua groaned, rubbing his eyes as he mumbled under his breath. "I'm going to kill you, bro, you hear me? I'm going to do it."

Choosing to ignore the mumbling, Luo Binghe stepped onto Zheng Yang, however, from overhead he saw something that caught his eye. Shang Qinghua stepped around the debris and corpses carefully, looking through what remained visible of the houses and shops to search a little when a dark whisp began to circle behind him until that whisp morphed bigger and a starkly pale hand, practically blue at the fingertips, reached through the opening and grabbed Shang Qinghua by the back collar of his cloak before a body that stood out starkly in the sea of black and red loomed over the An Ding Head Disciple.

"My King!"

Mobei-Jun!?

Ducking behind the rubble, Luo Binghe listened intently as Shang Qinghua sniveled and groveled at his once subordinate. Strange, he used to talk to Mobei-Jun far more...coldly. The few times he'd seen that traitor in court before Mobei-Jun rid himself of the triple-crossing traitor the An Ding Peak Lord had been nothing if not...emotionless. Stark and rather arrogant. It used to annoy him, and from what he figured, it annoyed Mobei-Jun just as much, seeing as the traitor hadn't lasted all that long.

"My King," Shang Qinghua hissed softly, daring to grab Mobei-Jun by his cold hand and pull him further behind one of the serpent corpses, hoping that no one would come just yet to clear this one out specifically. "Someone will see you!"

"Qinghua, come, now." Blunt as ever it seems. Luo Binghe could almost laugh at the familiar voice. Mobei-Jun wasn't a talker, that was for sure, but he could respect strength. It was the only reason that he and Luo Binghe had ever gotten along before, even if it was purely transactional and born from a life debt never fully repaid.

"My King, I can't leave, not right now." Shang Qinghua quickly gestured around them. The rotting corpse they were hiding behind was the biggest example as to what he was talking about. "We're still evacuating civilians from the Deadly-Coiled Serpent attack."

Mobei-Jun looked at the corpse and then back at Shang Qinghua, the classic expression of cold indifference leaving his face in a sharp scowl. "This one knows. You're coming, now." With that, Shang Qinghua was effectively hauled off the ground by the scruff of his robes and without the means to resist, dragged through the shadow vortex before the whisp vanished entirely.

Luo Binghe couldn't help but gawk at what he saw. Had Mobei-Jun just...picked up Shang Qinghua and carried him through the portal? Rather than kicking him through? What the—!? Why was he behaving so gently with that traitor!? Didn't they hate each other!?

Shaking his head, he groaned as he cleared his thoughts. It seemed there were still some things he needed to work out, and with how this life seemed to be treating him, the sooner he regained his former glory, the better.

Snapping his fingers, Zheng Yang sped off with only Luo Binghe lighting a beacon flare in the direction he was heading as a marker for someone to follow if need be. It wouldn't be, however, any beast that stood in his path was merely a stepping stone. A body that would soon turn cold from his blade.

Of course, that is what he believed until he saw the literal sea of serpents clashing and fighting with vines as thick as redwoods and as tall as an oak, all growling and hissing while they knocked into each other. Many of them overlapped with each other, coiling around each other almost as a means of protection, while others fought until the gruesome and bloody end against the vines, and to no avail as they were felled one after another.

Amongst the sea of grey and yellow scales and black vines with red thorns, he'd yet to find even a speck of plum-purple or olive-green. There was no light shining from that hoard, no call of song or hum of music to draw him in.

Where was...

Landing on the ground with a heavy thud, Zheng Yang sped into the clash, slicing into serpent and vine alike as he shouted. "Yuan-shidi!? Answer me!" He looked to the few remaining trees, but even those were overrun by the vines, with not even a single safe place to stand on one of the branches without the prospect of impaling oneself. The rest were toppled over, uprooted, and being crushed by wrestling vines and serpents. Blue blood stained the grass, turning it black as it died along with the beasts, and Luo Binghe suddenly realized with a crushing sense of horror that the blood of a human would do just the same if overlapped with the serpents' blood. "Yuan-shidi!!"

Finally, in the midst of hissing and growling, snapping bodies and vines, there came a familiar tune. With a blazing light, the vines suddenly stilled before erupting further from the ground, practically pulling themselves out from the roots as the serpents slowly began to wrestle and wiggle themselves free. Luo Binghe jumped into the calming sea, jumping over and around serpents until he found the voice of that song, and watched as Shen Yuan's tail puffed out and his ears flattened against his head as he strained to finish the song.

Each note came with a brighter light, and a resounding crack, until every vine had unearthed itself, and soon began to erupt into flame. Burning itself to a crisp until Shen Yuan's hands lowered to his sides and the song came to a slow halt. Luo Binghe ran straight for him, crushing the Ling Shou disciple in a hug while Shen Yuan fell into his embrace, exhausted as he tried valiantly to return the hug.

"Never again...don't go off like that ever again..."

"It worked...didn't it, Shixiong?"

At least, it had worked, until the remaining serpents regained their ground and growled and hissed at both the Bai Zhan and Ling Shou disciples. Shen Yuan hissed softly when he opened his eyes, his head throbbing and retinas burning from the onslaught of light from each beast. "Yuan-shidi, give me the pieces." Luo Binghe didn't wait for his willingness, practically digging through Shen Yuan's sleeves himself until he grabbed all seven pieces.

As expected, the serpents followed his movements the most the second he had them in hand. "Get back to the city, they're getting everyone out now, go find Qingge." Slowly, he pulled himself away from Shen Yuan, making sure the youth could stand on his own before backing away from him.

"Binghe-shixiong, wait—."

"I didn't argue with, Shidi, don't argue with your Shixiong."

With that, before even Shen Yuan could sense it, Luo Binghe called Zheng Yang back to him and took off on his blade. The serpents all growled as they chased after him, even those injured keeping up with the others to chase down the Bai Zhan disciple. Shen Yuan tried to watch the glowing silhouette as he faded further into the distance, but both exhausted and nearly completely depleted of spiritual energy, he was only able to close his eyes and groan as he fell to his knees, allowing his traits to recede until he could fall onto his back without fear of crushing his own tail.

He lay there for a moment, panting, and trying to remember which way was up; when that same hatchling emerged from the crushed remains of one of the fallen oak trees. Nudging against his hand until Shen Yuan responded by picking up the creature and placing him on his chest.

"Where is your mother?"

The hatchling trilled at him, before it slithered off of his chest, and slowly began to make its way to the corpse that Shen Yuan could sense not far from him. "Oh...Oh, no..." Despite the ache and the exhaustion, Shen Yuan pushed himself up enough to slowly crawl over to that body. No doubt twenty times larger than himself, and yet something he didn't fear in the slightest.

He lay on his stomach as he pressed his hand against the underbelly of the beast, wincing when he heard the pained groan from the beast. "I'm sorry," he murmured apologetically, pushing himself just a little further until he could press himself entirely against the serpent, letting his own body warmth be a small and practically useless comfort to the dying mother. "This one...prays that you rest well, and know that in the end, we were not enemies. Merely...two different beings, born on different sides, and with different views."

The beast, the creature, the mother; the very one who had saved him, groaned weakly, as if responding to him. Though not entirely understood, and nothing truly said, there was a resolute understanding.

Yes, you and I were no more enemies than the earth and the sky, merely two existing beings on different sides.

The final breath fell with a heavy sigh, and that little serpent hissed sadly before curling beneath the crater its mother had created, and Shen Yuan could find no words or actions to suffice what bleak grief he felt.

Binghe...

Struggling, he called Hui Qu to his hand, using his blade as a cane to correct himself before standing properly. His legs and arms were sore, standing alone hurt his feet, and everything around him felt muddled. As if he had stepped in the mud, and couldn't get a proper hold of anything. He couldn't find the sense, the energies around him, not properly anyway.

The realization dawned on him with a bitter resentment. He couldn't handle this much? Was he not destined to be a peak lord soon? How could he be this weak? To allow himself to get to this state in the first place. There would be battles worse than this, there would undoubtedly be true enemies stronger than the beasts tonight, and he was still this weak? Now his Shixiong needed his help, and what could he offer?

Growling, he closed his eyes as he sheathed Hui Qu, finding what remained, finding that spark within himself and hanging on to it. Even as it burned his hand, even as his meridians surged with a hot pain as Without-a-Cure threatened to take over entirely. He beat it back, the nausea, the dizziness, everything. He beat it all back until he could open his eyes and see.

He saw the colors around him as he set off the emergency flare, even if they made his eyes throb and head pound, he could hear every sound, even if they made his ears ring painfully, and he could smell the distant scent of his Shixiong, even if the overwhelming and putrid scents of corpses and burning vines likewise meddled with that scent.

His feet burned and ached, and his legs felt as though they would give out on him at a moment's notice, but he pushed past that pain. He found the energy, he made the will, the determination, to keep running. He focused on the wind roaring past his face, the frigid air drying the blood on his clothes and hands, and how it felt against the tips of his ears. He focused on anything else he could; until he finally could see that crimson silhouette still so far away.

His throat felt raw, and it felt like his saliva was choking him, it was getting harder to breathe, and he felt like he had to cough. So, he kept running, pulling his bow off of his shoulders as he necked his arrow, aiming for his shot closest to his Shixiong, until he saw just where his Shixiong was running.

There was a cliff ahead. Didn't he see it? What was he doing? Why wasn't he on Zheng Yang? The serpents were surrounding him! He wouldn't be able to dodge to the side!

"Binghe—!" He coughed wetly, hacking as his aching hands dropped his bow and arrow to his sides, unable to aim properly through the shaking of his hands.

He kept running.

Get away from the edge, get away from the edge!

Luo Binghe kept running towards it. He didn't hear him.

No, no, no. What are you doing!? Get away from there! Get away! I'm right here! Get away from the edge! Don't let them corner you there! Get away from there!

The serpents closed in on him, and then—

"No..."

"No..." His side ached, he couldn't yell, he tried, he tried so hard. He couldn't scream, it felt like he was choking on his own blood. But he was right there, why were they right there!? "Stop!"

Neither heard him, Shen Qingqiu didn't stop his march forward, and Luo Binghe didn't stop his backstep closer to the edge. "Stop it!" He couldn't hear what was being said, perhaps because of the ringing in his ears, or the pounding of his own heart. But Shen Qingqiu was saying something, what was he saying? Why did it matter? Why was he leading Luo Binghe to the edge!?

Luo Binghe...his eyes were full of terror and contempt. Staring directly at that man, his "Shizun," with a blade pointed directly at his heart. That expression, Shen Tianyan couldn't bear it, it looked too cold and cruel for someone like Luo Binghe. Someone so promising...so bright, a white lotus blooming even in the dead of winter. He didn't deserve this.

He didn't deserve this!

"Get away from him!" The taste of iron was permanent on his tongue, and even as his hair began to fall from his topknot, the guan he normally wore having been lost in the battle against the beasts let into the Immortal Alliance Conference, he couldn't care. "Qingqiu!"

They still didn't hear him. Why wasn't he getting any closer!? He was so close! Get away from him! Get away from his disciple! Don't! Don't push him over the edge! Whatever happened, he could deal with it! Just don't—.

He was falling.

He'd blinked, and Luo Binghe was falling.

Something akin to rage and desperation boiled deep within his heart, and suddenly, he had the vigor to run as fast as his legs could carry him. He passed Shen Qingqiu, and even if he heard the distant yell of the man he once called brother, he didn't stop.

The ledge was finally closer to him now. He was finally directly in front of it, but even as his foot touched the place where Luo Binghe had been pushed off, that crater suddenly slammed closed with a deadly boom, and Shen Tianyan was sent flying back from the force.

He landed on his back and skidded across the ground until he finally stopped on his stomach. Gasping and wheezing through the blood he was choking on, his side and chest burning like fire as he failed to breathe. His vision was blurry, and as wetness suddenly dropped again and again against his hand, he realized why.

Someone was grabbing him, but he couldn't hear them, he was trying to fight it, that grip. That painful, awful grip, but he couldn't. He tried so hard. But he just couldn't.

Someone started screaming, maybe it was him, maybe it was that man who pushed his disciple off the edge. He couldn't tell. His throat burned, and the image of those terrified eyes crashed over and over into each other within his mind's eye until he felt himself collapse.

He'd been too slow. How could he have been so slow? He should have stopped it. He should have stopped it all from the very beginning. He should have pulled out his sword and sent Hui Qu to stab that man where he stood. He should have jumped down there with Luo Binghe.

He should have—.

His throat burned, and this time, he knew it was him who was screaming. Someone was grabbing him again, but he couldn't see them, he couldn't sense them, he was trapped in that endless darkness with no way out. His chest burned, it hurt to breathe, but he fought it. He couldn't let it happen again, he'd jump down with him, and no one would stop him this time.

His screams weren't words, pleas, or rageful and hateful wails of vengeance. They were just screams, wordless and without proper meaning, terrifying and shrill, like the wails of the damned and the dead. He screamed and fought even as he couldn't tell who he was hitting, even as he was surrounded by an endless haze of the darkness of night, even as each breath was harder to take. He fought and pulled, and kicked and screamed, to get to that ledge.

Never again, never again. He'd never let it happen again, kill him first, it wouldn't be like back then. Nothing like that would ever happen again. Luo Binghe wouldn't suffer, his parents wouldn't suffer, Liu Qingge wouldn't suffer, Shang Qinghua, Cang Qiong, the entire Jianghu, they wouldn't suffer like that again. He wouldn't let it happen again.

He was tired, his energy depleted, and Without-a-Cure surged with a vengeance beneath his very skin, reminding him of the pain it was to live with such a curse without a soul able to help ease that suffering.

A well-deserved pain, he decided, he deserved it. He let it happen again, he could've gotten up faster, he could've run faster, he could've gone with him before he even left him there. He could've stopped the abuse before, he could've shouted more, he could've explained it to him, he could've gone to Liu Qingge back then, he could've killed his own Baba, he could've fought against his parents more, he could've done more.

Who wouldn't blame the person who just sat and watched it all happen? Are they not just as guilty if not more so than the person who raised the hammer to begin with? Was he not to blame for being a vouyer to others suffering and doing nothing? Even when he knew what it was like to suffer like that, he knew what it was like to live like that, and he did effectively nothing. Everything he ever did, only made it worse.

He fell, he fell and he couldn't stop it, he fell because he wasn't fast enough, he fell because—.

"Yuan-shidi!"

What?

He couldn't see, his vision was blurrier than normal, and he couldn't sense a thing. He felt the wetness of his face, but despite it all, despite that pain still coursing through him, he followed the sound of that voice, and found that the hand clamped around his bicep was familiar.

"Binghe..."

A heavy sigh of relief tore from his chest, and Luo Binghe didn't restrain himself from wrapping his arms around Shen Yuan, tucking him close even as the shorter man reached up to touch his face. "Yuan-shidi...don't scare me like that, I—." There was a sudden pain in his ribs, and he could hardly even catch his breath from the blow before Shen Yuan grasped his shoulders and screamed.

"What the hell were you thinking!?" Bitter almonds and lotus were muddled by the scent of blood and gore, it was rather disgusting, but even like this, he could make out the comforting differences. "Jumping off a fucking cliff?! What if you couldn't climb out!? Why!? Why the fuck would you do that!?"

"The serpents..." He found himself staring. A mixture of awe and heartache. Never once had he seen Shen Yuan like this. In the past or this life. He'd always been so...controlled. Calm, patient, the better part of all of them. He was...He was crying. "They would follow the resentful energy anywhere...so I led them to the cliff so they would jump off as I would. There was a root sticking out of the side, I hung onto it when I threw the pieces down."

Shen Yuan faltered, thinking it over before growling and hitting. Punching weakly, barely a bit of heat behind those fists as he chided and yelled. "So what!? You just jump off a fucking cliff!? What if you couldn't get a good grip!? What if nothing had been there after all!? Why couldn't you have just let me go with you!? Why run away!? I could've helped you!"

"You were...you're hurt, Yuan-shidi!"

"So what!?" Shen Yuan screeched, punching Luo Binghe's shoulder a final time for good measure. "Do you think I would give a shit at all about that if you were dead!? Do you know how I—...How I would react if you died...if I thought you died..."

Adrenaline truly was a mystical thing. Able to give him the strength to fight for a little longer, to run just a bit more, to scream a little louder. But once it was gone, he couldn't even stay standing, falling to his knees, coughing and crying unrestrained. "Don't you know...Don't you know how bad that would hurt? If I thought...If you were gone?"

The arms around him tightened, but not even that familiar scent could calm him down. Pain from so long ago, memories lost and repressed resurfaced, it all came back tenfold to remind him. To make sure he never forgot the heartache, the guilt, the pain of those five years. All alone from self-inflicted isolation, the unending nightmares of that scene again and again until all he could do was sit there at that grave and pray sleep never came to collect its debt from him.

"It would hurt...Binghe, it would hurt. What then? I saw it, I saw you fall...I'd have to watch it again and again...that'd be the last thing I saw of you. So what if I'm hurt? I'd rather be hurt than watch you die, I could've still helped...Why didn't you hear me...?"

It hurt to cry, but it hurt more to keep it in, so he cried. He didn't hate himself just this once for it. He let himself fall into that embrace, unbothered by the darkness fully overcoming his vision, the pain so extreme it was finally becoming numb. Just this once, he didn't mind, he would make sure it didn't happen again.

"I'm sorry..."

That night...He'd been terrified, standing on the edge of hell itself, staring into the cruel eyes of his Shizun. At that moment, he hadn't even seen past those cruel emerald eyes, but there had been a distant shout. So hoarse and quiet he'd believed it to be his imagination, between the ringing in his ears, and the anger that boiled low in his stomach, he'd been deaf to all other sounds than his Shizun's painful words.

"No disciple of his will ever be a demon. You'd kill him if you had the chance."

He'd believed those words, foolishly and irreversibly believed a man who had never shown him a drop of kindness over the blatant truth of the man he now wondered if he'd missed him as much as Shen Yuan would have.

Even more, he wondered if he had looked past his Shizun, past his hatred and contempt, would he have seen those eyes? Those warm, compassionate jade eyes...would they have been filled with tears as they were now? Would his Shifu have yelled at him like this? Would he have hugged him?

Had he tried to jump in after him back then too?

"I'm so sorry, Yuan-shidi..." It hurt. It hurt so much now, to know the truth, would it have been easier to just live the lie? To live that life of madness and insanity, lost in his delusions in that meadow he had built, waiting for that immortal to finally come out of his cottage. No...No, not when his Shidi cried like this. Not when he could only imagine his Shifu crying like this. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry."

Even the gentlest of touches sent him over the edge, reeling and hanging onto whatever he could. Those hands who had never taught him to wield a sword as he once had, but instead allowed him to return the favor. Those hands who let him hold them and lead when it had been vice versa before. Those hands who had wiped his tears the day he became a disciple of Qing Jing, and now did it again before the edge of a cliff.

There was pain written into his features, clear as day in the way he moved, in the way he smiled, the way he laughed at himself. He wiped Luo Binghe's tears even as his own fell, he reassured even when he was breaking. "Don't do stupid things again, Shixiong...This Shidi will always want to help you. Just let me know...when you need help, if you're hurt; if you're scared, tired, or sad...I want to help. You and Qingge...you're my soulmates, right? Why can't I help?"

How could I have hated you? How could I have hated that place, when you were in it? How could I have hated those memories when it was always you who shined the light on them after the horrors?

"Shidi..." Even like this, knotted and wild, his Shidi's hair was soft. Even covered in grime and blood, his Shidi still smelled like vanilla and mint. "...Shidi."

It felt nice, leaning on one of Luo Binghe's legs with his other keeping his knees bent to his chest while his chin rested on the youth's hair. Super fluffy and soft, curly and thick. It would be nice to braid it once this was all over with, and once he could breathe clearly again. "Has Shixiong lost his vocabulary?" He couldn't help but cough, his throat hurt, and—.

Oh, there was that familiar taste of blood.

"Binghe! Yuan!"

Ah, Qingge! Right on time! Good, he could make sure that the serpents hadn't hurt Luo Binghe from the semi-fall.

Luo Binghe raised his head at the sight of the head disciple charging over at them, ragged in appearance, but determination practically shining off of him like a halo.

How could I have hated either of you?

"Shixiong!" He was too cold, Shen Yuan shouldn't be this cold in his arms. He was hurt. They needed to go. "Back to the city, Yuan-shidi, he's—."

Without-a-Cure. He'd forgotten.

"Shit! Without-a-Cure!" That alone seemed to spark something extra in Liu Qingge, the Bai Zhan Head Disciple shouted as he picked up the pace even more. Practically sliding to a stop while Luo Binghe looked down at Shen Yuan, leaning entirely against him, smiling even with his eyes closed. "Yuan-shidi!"

"Calm down," Shen Yuan murmured. What was with all the yelling? Even without his traits out anymore, they were being too loud. "I'm fine."

"You're such a terrible liar." Liu Qingge growled, kneeling before both of his Shidis as he pressed his hands against Shen Yuan's collarbones, hissing at the feel of his meridians so out of place. Knotted and congested, it was a miracle he hadn't had a qi deviation by now. "We can't leave you alone, can we?"

Shen Yuan couldn't help but groan at that. Clearing his meridians normally didn't hurt this bad, he'd overdone it too much, hadn't he? "This one...can't leave his Shixiong alone either...So, it's fair."

"Fine, then don't leave us alone."

Chapter Text

"Is that the last of them?" Disciples of all peaks worked together to clear the city of the debris, rebuilding what they could for the time being. The citizens had been led back to their homes, and those without had been placed in the lord's estate for the foreseeable future until An Ding could work out the necessary resources to help rebuild the destroyed city.

At the moment, however, the most concerning problem was burning every serpent corpse to be found. No trace was to be left, lest any who remained from the pack dare to return for vengeance.

"It should be."

"Damn, these things are heavy."

"What the hell did you expect? These things are taller than even Qiong Ding's Ancestral Hall!"

"Oh, shut up!"

"Make me!"

"All of you!" Qi Qingqi scoffed at the bickering, glaring balefully while the rest all scurried away from her. Such a menacing aura! "Enough with your squabbling and finish your work! We have to leave for the sect by midday!"

"Yes, Shijie!"

"Sorry."

Qi Qingqi set back to her own work, helping unload supplies that survived the attack, the supplies gifted from neighboring cities, and even a few crates from Hua Huan Palace...Lazy bastards.

"Shijie," What was he doing out of the estate!? "Do you need any help?"

"I need you to stop finding ways to sneak out of the estate." Qi Qingqi glared at her martial brother. How was he so good at sneaking? For a blind kitten, he was nefariously crafty. She didn't need that brute Liu Qingge or the little wolf in sheep's clothing Luo Binghe causing a ruckus trying to drag him back again! "Weren't you ordered to stay out of the strenuous work?"

Shen Yuan rolled his eyes, ah that expression, how similar it was to her Shen-shixiong, truly like father like son. "This one has suffered no further flair-ups from Without-a-Cure, nor has he had any reason to stay away from work." Seriously, he was fine! A day's worth of sleep and Liu Qingge's passive-aggressive meridian cleansing and he was right as rain! This was over the top!

Qi Qingqi huffed at her Shidi. Stubborn it seemed, even if this were their first mission together, she couldn't say that she hadn't been entirely impressed by him. Battling over twenty Deadly-Coiled Serpents all at once without even raising his blade? It is truly a feat befitting the Head Disciple of Ling Shou but with the self-preservation skills of a baby bird with a broken wing!

She couldn't blame either her Shen-shixiong or Yue-shixiong for being so protective and rather secretive with this son of theirs! If they didn't, he'd run headfirst into danger and think of the consequences after all of his limbs were broken!

While it had already been a few days since Liu Qingge carried Shen Yuan back to the estate with Luo Binghe trailing no less than a centimeter behind him, demanding medical assistance immediately while he cleared Shen Yuan's meridians, the lasting effect was still there.

It had been a miracle that Ling Shou hadn't all but started a brawl with Bai Zhan. A few immediately tried to pounce the Bai Zhan Head Disciple and its top Core disciple the moment they saw their Xiao-Shidi in such a state so they could tend to him themselves. Truly pack animals. But Bai Zhan was just as aggressive and returned the slight tenfold by starting a duel with those who had tried to jump their own, and when one Ling Shou disciple was attacked, the pack would be there instantaneously to deal with the threat.

Jiong Qingshi had all but beaten a few with his staff when they wouldn't settle down upon his instruction, and she had been the first to bind those unwilling to cooperate with her silk. Made from the Stone Spiders in the west mountain caverns, their silk was as flexible and soft as a flowing stream, but just as indestructible and hard as stone when used properly.

Of course, the only few who actually had any true medical training was An Ding. The travelers coming and going with their shipments so much that first aid and other such things were a necessary skill. And being the only Omega, and surprisingly the only one Liu Qingge or Luo Binghe didn't completely deny, Shang Qinghua had been the only one allowed to stick close enough to oversee everything and keep an eye on Shen Yuan while both Bai Zhan disciples got to work fixing up the city as fast as humanly possible.

It was a surprise that Shang Qinghua hadn't noticed Shen Yuan's absence just yet. Normally, the two could be glued to the hip if given the chance.

"Damn it, Yuan!" Speak of the devil and he shall appear. "Quit sneaking off, bro! That's it! Shimei, can you give me some of that silk please?" Shang Qinghua practically crashed into Shen Yuan, wrapping his arms around his friend while the younger glared down at him.

"What are you complaining about?" Shen Yuan snapped, freeing one of his arms to slap Shang Qinghua's shoulder. "I'm not staying in the damn estate the rest of the time here! I've rested enough, I'm fine! All of you stop acting like I'm on death's doorstep!"

"You sure as hell try to be!" Shang Qinghua screeched, reaching up to grab Shen Yuan's shoulders so he could shake him. A little upset over the fact that he was the shorter one now. Not by too much, thank the heavens, but enough that he still had to reach, and that alone wasn't very pleasant. Back then, he'd been the taller of the two of them! Why was it suddenly being switched around!? "Do you know how many heart attacks you give me, hah?! Pay for my snacks and tea already! It's the only way I cope with you acting like this so often!"

"You scare easily! I'm not doing anything less than anyone else!"

"He's right there," Qi Qingqi chimed in, nodding at Shang Qinghua who gave her a defeated and rather betrayed look. "He's not doing anything less, but he is doing far more than necessary, too much even."

"Ha!"

"Shijie!"

Qi Qingqi hummed nonchalantly, smirking when Shen Yuan groaned. "It's true. You dealt with over twenty of those beasts by yourself and killed more than a few even inside the city. I don't see why you wouldn't want to take the time to recuperate."

Because then I'm left alone in my own head. Qinghua can't hang out with me this entire time and talk shit about Mobei-Jun and his weird habits, Shijie! Neither can Binghe or Qingge! I don't want to be stuck doing nothing while I have to think about things!

"I get too antsy," Shen Yuan answered coolly, ignoring the gaze he could sense boring into his expression. Such a glare, Shijie! Trying to break him apart piece by piece with just your eyes? Ha! You'd have to have his Baba's stare to do that! "I don't like to sit still for long."

"You know your parents will have something to say about this, yes?"

Don't make me think of them right now...Shen Yuan thought to himself bitterly. He felt sick thinking about it all. The memories resurfaced; five years spent alone in a dying garden that he let die around him as he wilted away. The thoughts that had passed through his mind, the liberties, the sacrifices he realized he had been—and perhaps still was—willing to make for the sake of his soulmates.

He could have fought his parents more...he could have killed his Baba. He could have killed them.

Isn't that what he had thought back then? Isn't that what had passed through his thoughts when he screamed at Luo Binghe for scaring him that night? How could he dare to think of them right now? How could he bear to live with himself right now?

Willing to kill his own parents...the very people to whom he owed his life. The people he adored and loved and in return, he was showered with kindness, love, and patience that he at times didn't deserve.

What kind of monster could he be? Willing to do such a thing, desperate enough to think of such a thing, and what's worse? Despicable enough to realize that while it would break him, it would hurt him in ways he knew he'd never recover from, that if it came down to it...if it were a choice between them and his soulmates...the choice he would make was obvious.

He swore never to let anything happen to Luo Binghe or Liu Qingge ever again. Swore to make sure that the past would never repeat itself, and yet here he was, thinking of these things. Imagining what it would've been like if he had just been a little bolder, a little crueler, if he had—.

His Baba...His A-Die...

How could he call himself their son right now? How could he be so despicable?

"No matter," Qi Qingqi shook her head. Shen Qingqiu had asked her specifically to make sure that nothing happened to Shen Yuan here. While he'd been more specifically referring to Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe, she knew that it wouldn't end well if she let Shen Yuan continue about like this until they got back. "Shang-shixiong, why don't you two go check on the lord in the eastern hall? He said this morning that he and his wives would stay there for the day to decompress from this ordeal."

She couldn't help but cringe at the thought. Decompress, likely story! A man like that, taking more than one wife, shameful! Nobility or not! Marriage and mating should be sacred and held between only a couple entirely devoted to each other without ever taking another!

Right now, she could only hope that perverted old man was at least behaving himself with his wives while such prestigious company was still here, or she'd have to skin him for tainting her Shidi's delicate senses if he happened to walk in on anything while going to check on them. Then again, it'd likely be Ling Shou to get to him first, but she'd string him up afterward just for good measure, and then Shen Qingqiu and Yue Qingyuan would likely come to castrate him themselves.

Shang Qinghua quickly took the bait, laughing and cajoling as he said. "Alright, alright! We'll go now, Shimei! Thanks for the help! Come on, bro!" Already walking away, he didn't even check if Shen Yuan was following him, already too excited to get out of the cold. His King had to take back the cloak he'd gifted him because it was soured with grime and blood, and he was cold again!

Qi Qingqi raised her brow when Shen Yuan didn't move, merely staying rooted in place as he worried his bottom lip between his teeth. "Please, Shijie..." Unknown to him, and still too shaken up from his thoughts to note his shaking, Shen Yuan's eyes became glassy and pooled with a deadly and worrisome liquid that had even the esteemed Xian Shu Head Disciple flinching. "I...I really can't handle being cooped up inside anymore. I won't cause any more trouble...please."

What was this heart-wrenching expression!? Add a tucked-in tail between his legs and flattened fluffy ears and such a countenance would likely have even the strongest soldiers falling to their knees to ease whatever suffering tormented this poor kitten's heart!

She was a strong woman, she did not bend to even her cutest of Shimei, she had an iron will and despised those who tried to use underhanded means to get what they wanted. Waterworks, pitiful looks, a pretty face, none of that meant a damn thing to her! She was much stronger than that!

"Of course, you can." But she was no abuser! Who could call her out for giving in, hm?! It'd be like kicking a wounded kitten curled up on the ground begging for a gentle hand to pet him! "Just help me with the supplies and take them to the shops in the west quadrant, most of them will be taking up the food storage for the city."

"Yes, Shijie. Thank you." He smiled, a gentle and relieved thing as he quickly set to unloading the cart himself. He easily stacked two crates on each shoulder alone, able to bear the weight with ease as he asked. "Shijie, please tell me where to take these." Such deceptive strength! A lithe figure that didn't show even half of the power he held!

Shen-shixiong, how careless of you! How haven't you or Yue-shixiong hired an attendant for him yet? Letting him roam around alone, and with those two brutes always hanging around him. Surely you couldn't have so much faith in just Shang Qinghua alone! With just one look he'd have someone trying to kidnap him!

"Just follow me, Qinglin." She eyed the crates on his shoulders momentarily and couldn't help but wonder what he was being fed on Ling Shou that could lead to such a deceptive figure. She could only carry two at a time, and here was her little Shidi carrying four. "...Do you need help?"

"No, these are actually lighter than what this one has to deal with normally, so this one is fine."

Qi Qingqi hummed at that, leading the way to the rest of the shops that had advocated and volunteered as food storage for the time being until the rest of the city could be rebuilt and the citizens could calm down from their traumatic experience. The women of the shops were immediately welcoming, smiling, and helping them unload the crates as they babbled on and on about nonsense and gossip.

Something that normally would've annoyed Qi Qingqi to no end, but understanding that in situations like this, mindless gossip was almost a form of therapy for some to try and allow their minds a break from the trauma they experienced, she allowed it to occur, choosing to just tune it out as she helped rearrange furniture. Shen Yuan, however, had no choice but to listen closely, vehemently refusing to acknowledge his own thoughts.

Unfortunately, the women seemed rather interested in one of the very things he was trying to avoid! "Oh, but those young men...the Bai Zhan disciples? My goodness, a few may seem like brutes to some degree, but how handsome they are!"

"Oh, I know! You know...there is nothing wrong with a bit of brutishness either! What wife wouldn't enjoy their husband being a little...beastly?"

"Ah! You two, so shameful!" Even with the others giggling, it didn't stop them from going on. "I've talked to a few of those Daozhang myself! A few of them are actually rather gentlemanly, don't go about saying such things!"

"Especially that head disciple of their peak...uh, Liu-gongzi, was it? He and that other Daozhang that hangs around him so often truly must be the top choices on their peak!"

"Oh, yes, yes! That other one's name is Luo I believe! Truly so handsome! Have you seen his hair? I would kill for it! And that flawless skin...ah, imagine the person he chooses, how lucky."

His ears must be burning. Why did they have to talk like this so loudly!? And in front of him! He was trying not to think about either of them or his parents! Heavens have mercy on him, he felt like he was going to be sick!

A few of the women giggled and nodded as they continued their gossip, though when two looked over to find a proper place to set aside some of the rice bags, they found Shen Yuan standing with his face to the wall, trying his best to silence the world and his thoughts all at once.

"Ah, Daozhang?" A young woman dressed in a heavy cloak with thick gloves quickly came over to him, searching his face and pausing when she saw the pink of his face and his ears. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, Madam," he coughed sheepishly, trying to calm himself down to focus. He still had to unload the last crate, then he could leave with Qi-shijie and help her with whatever else before trying to sneak off to find something else to do. "Th-This one was merely, uhm..."

"Oh dear, you must've heard us!" An older woman chuckled at that, shaking her head, and practically gliding over to hug Shen Yuan's arm, patting his shoulder comfortingly. "Don't be embarrassed Daozhang! It's more than alright to join us! Do you have any opinions, you must be around those young men quite a lot, what can you tell these aunties?"

Join them!? He felt like he was about to die right in front of them! Madam don't ask me such things! You're going to kill me with these questions! At least do it mercifully! This is too cruel!

"Oh, look at his face, poor thing!" Another cooed at him, and the others who hadn't been paying much attention now looked over and cooed as well at his cherry-red expression. How cute! "Now, now, girls! Don't bully him!"

"Whose bullying?" He couldn't even fight it when he was dragged over to their group, abandoning his task of properly stacking the jars of preserves in the cabinets. "We're only asking some questions! Besides, look at this little one! Isn't he cute? Daozhang, you must have a lot of admirers."

Cute!? Who the hell is cute here!? Only his A-die and Baba could call him cute! But that was just because...they were his parents! He was just cute to them because they remembered him as a baby! He wasn't cute! He was just...plain! Regular and plain! Yeah! He remembered his old appearance, a bit blurry in his memories, but he remembered his face clearly enough to have a general idea.

He was too pale, definitely having the appearance of a hobbit! His hair was always held up back then, and his face seemed too sharp, his expression too cold. Even now, his hair was commonly knotted and down, obscuring his face quite often, he probably looked scraggly. Not to mention he was pretty skinny, he heard through word of mouth of some...ahem, Shixiong of his that most men and Alphas preferred those who were...fuller? Curvy they said?

He didn't stick around long when he heard them talking, already knowing it to be more of a...inappropriate conversation, but he'd heard enough to know that people appreciated people who had more volume, curvy, and soft in a sense. He wasn't really any of those things. He was rather skinny, and muscular to an extent, but definitely not broad like his A-die. Whatever curves he could've had were worked out of him during his beast training. Taming creatures big and small took strength and speed, he didn't have the liberty to be 'soft.' He wanted to keep up with his Shixiong and Shijie, and he worked as hard as he could, but with that, he didn't have much of a figure.

Even back then, he didn't have it. He was too skinny back then, likely due to how sick he always was, whatever food he ate was light and just enough to help him keep up the appearance of a human being and not a walking corpse. Easier said than done in his opinion.

His Baba, however, seemed to be more of the style those Shixiong of his had been talking about. He was slender, but not unhealthily so, curvy in some places at least to what he could remember, and his A-die always seemed to love to hold his Baba by his waist rather than anywhere else. But that was his Baba! Completely spoken for! His Baba was just naturally ethereal and beautiful! No question or competition there!

It seemed to some degree, that while he inherited his Baba's facial features, he didn't inherit his ability to have that aura of effortless beauty. He always seemed too distant, a little too cold, and he was leaner and muscled rather than curvy. But he didn't mind! He was stronger than he used to be! He could help his Shixiong and Shijie however possible! If his Xia-shijie needed him to break something open or carry something heavy for her, he could! And his Song-shixiong didn't need to help him wield his sword anymore because his arms were too weak!

Positives! Nothing but positives! So, he never minded! He was stronger and frankly healthier than he could ever remember being back then!

So, now why the fuck was he being called cute!? Had these women gone mad!? Or was this pity? Oh, that was worse, please have gone mad, Madams!

"Madams...please, this one isn't—."

"Isn't? Isn't what? Oh, nonsense! Daozhang is adorable!" Ow! Ow! Ow! Now he was being pinched!? The older woman of the group immediately reached up to pinch his cheek, the others all cooing at his expression while Shen Yuan tried not to jerk. "Look at this face, who wouldn't think Daozhang is adorable? So humble and kind as well! Does Daozhang have anyone he's interested in? He must have many admirers! Surely one of your martial siblings has caught your fancy? Or perhaps some noble in the province?"

Where the hell had this conversation gone to?! And why the hell was he a part of it!?

"Madams," his savior! Qi-shijie, save him please! Qi Qingqi eyed the situation, unable to suppress a chuckle at the rather pitiful sight of Shen Yuan surrounded and being doted upon. Poor boy didn't stand a chance against the aunties. "I'm afraid he is already spoken for, please don't try to offer him up to anyone else, I'm afraid there would be some unfortunate consequences."

Hold on, spoken for!? Who the fuck am I spoken for!?

The women all gasped and cooed at that, even more excited now at some true and promising gossip, especially regarding this little cultivator! "Oh, no, no! Please don't misunderstand, none of us were trying to offer him up! Though, now that Qi-daozhang has mentioned it, may we know of the lucky rascal who has spoken for such an adorable little thing?"

Seriously, who the hell is being called cute here?! Aren't I supposed to be the only blind one here!?

Qi Qingqi hesitated for a moment, eyeing Shen Yuan for a moment, but when her Shidi showed no signs of worry; if not only a bit of annoyance; she settled herself. "Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe, the Head Disciple of Bai Zhan Peak and the top Core disciple of Bai Zhan."

"Oh my!"

"What a turnout!"

"What!?" Shen Yuan whirled around instantly, damn near reaching forward to grab his Shijie. Had she lost her mind!? What was wrong with everyone!? "Shijie! Surely there has been some misunderstanding, Qingge-shixiong and Binghe-shixiong aren't—. We...None of us are like that!"

Rolling her eyes at his reaction, Qi Qingqi retorted. "There's no reason to be bashful about it, or try to hide it, Liu Qingge said so himself just a few days ago."

Said what!? No way! No way in hell! Qingge wouldn't say something like...oh my gods.

"Shijie..." He coughed sheepishly, rubbing his eyes as he asked. "Are you referring to when Qingge-shixiong told you and Jiong-shixiong that we three are soulmates?"

Ignoring the gasps of the women behind them, Qi Qingqi hummed affirmatively. "As I said, he said so himself. Given how they act with you, I figured that they already have spoken for you, if not courting already."

Such accusations! Shijie! I had hoped for better from you!

"Shijie, truly there have been some misunderstandings." Shen Yuan groaned. Surely their close friendship couldn't have caused such a ruckus! Liu Qingge wasn't the biggest speaker, so of course he communicated primarily through touch! Whether it be hitting Luo Binghe or grabbing his sleeve to lead him. Likewise, Luo Binghe was just a physical person! He'd always been that way! Back then when he'd been a young disciple, he used to cling to the tail of his robes like a lost puppy, and even now, he was just affectionate! There was nothing wrong with that! "Binghe—. Luo-shixiong and Liu-shixiong are not...we're not in relations with each other in such a way. Nor have either of them 'spoken' for me. We're only friends, while I suppose I can understand the confusion, it truly is only a matter of misunderstandings."

Qi Qingqi scoffed at that, laughing without a shred of humor. "Shidi, surely you must be joking. With how those two behave—."

"Shijie." Shen Yuan cut off, sighing heavily as he tried to calm himself down enough to speak clearly. "Truly, there is nothing between any of us. How they behave perhaps could be misleading, but this one can swear that if there have been any developments of that kind, it was without this one's knowledge, and this one asks Shijie to please be understanding."

Caught off guard by such a stern tone, none in the room offered any bought of argument, allowing Shen Yuan to bow politely to the women before giving his bidding of farewell. "This one apologizes for the confusion, Madams, Shijie. If there are any issues or need for assistance please feel free to call for this one, until then, please excuse me." With that, he headed out of the shop quickly, hoping to avoid any more conversations that could lead to such accusations.

Did people really rely so much on gossip? Perhaps he was at fault for not maintaining the rules of etiquette, but he'd never thought about it until now! None of his peak siblings paid proximity any mind, and his parents hadn't an issue with it! How was he supposed to guess it would cause this much fuss!?

Great, now I have a headache. I should just go take Yingzi on a run.

"Crap!"

"Kill it!"

"Behind you!"

He could hear swords hitting the limestone of the ground, each sound growing louder along with the shrill shouts of terror. What were they screaming about? Kill it? Was it merely just a beast?

Shen Yuan followed the sound, sensing the three disciples all circling whatever beast had startled them while their swords clashed against the limestone in an irritating rhythm. Didn't they know they'd chip their blades or scratch them up if they kept striking the road like this?

However, as he approached, a familiar presence settled in front of him, and he quickly struck out to shove aside the disciple who had aimed a little too well. "Ack! Shidi! Watch out, that—!"

"Shut up." Shen Yuan cut him off sharply. Pointing to the sides of the road sharply as the other disciples all slowly backed away, surprised and a little startled but such a harsh reaction.

When he was sure the disciples were backed away far enough, Shen Yuan focused until he found that presence huddled behind the stacked crates against one of the unblemished buildings from the attack. He kneeled before the crates, outstretching his hand despite the gasps and hisses between clenched teeth from the other disciples. What were they reacting so sharply over? Situations like this were better handled with a sense of decorum regardless.

There came a soft trill and Shen Yuan couldn't help but smile at the familiarity. Finally, something that he could understand. He whistled lowly, letting the sound roll off his lips for a long moment until falling silent again. Another trill, louder this time, and Shen Yuan responded the same until three intervals had passed and a hatchling the size of a fully grown snake slithered out from behind the crates.

"Shidi—!"

"I said shut up, didn't I?" Shen Yuan hissed. Keeping his voice low so as not to scare the hatchling while he lowered his hand to the ground. "If you scare him, then you risk causing more problems."

The hatchling slithered onto his hand, coiling itself around his arm until it was secure, and Shen Yuan stood from the ground, keeping his arm tucked closely to his chest as he gently petted the serpent's head. "Besides, he's only a hatchling after all, don't be cruel to a baby."

"That's a baby?"

"It looks like a full-grown snake!"

"Yes, well Deadly-Coiled Serpents are one of the largest demonic breeds aside from a Silver-Tongued Viper." When that little serpent trilled again, Shen Yuan responded with a hum before reaching up slightly to allow the hatchling to curl itself around his shoulders, letting its head hang over his heart contently. "Also, one of the most affectionate."

The other disciples all either watched with fascination or concern. They'd all just fought against these beasts, and now this Shidi of theirs was just cuddling with one of the hatchlings as if it were a beloved pet!?

"Yuan!"

Ah, well that's not good.

Shen Yuan kept a hand on the serpent's body, running his fingers over the cool scales as he turned to face the charging Liu Qingge, who stopped with only enough space to keep his and Shen Yuan's feet from touching while he immediately reached out to yank the serpent off of the Ling Shou disciple.

Only to be surprised when Shen Yuan snapped his hand away. "Qingge-shixiong, don't be rude...Guiying doesn't mean any harm, he was only scared."

Blinking, and then contemplating, Liu Qingge hesitated a moment before groaning. "You named it?"

"Yes."

"Guiying?"

"An appropriate name, don't you think?

"Yuan..."

"I love him already, Qingge-shixiong."

"He's a beast!" Liu Qingge shouted, gesturing to the serpent still coiled around Shen Yuan's shoulders. No! Absolutely not! He said no the first time, he wouldn’t back down about this! "I already said no before!"

"But he has no one else!" Shen Yuan retorted, purposefully putting on a hurt expression as he cradled Guiying's head. "His mother was slain in the battle after she protected me from the vines! Doesn't Shixiong agree that a life debt should be paid? How cruel could I be if I didn't make sure that poor mother's soul could rest peacefully by taking care of the babe she left behind?"

"Yuan...No."

"Shixiong, don't be so cruel! He's only a baby!"

He could not believe he was having this argument right now! No, absolutely not! He wouldn't stand for this! He was the Bai Zhan War God! Whether or not he had that name just yet didn't matter! He knew what he was, and he was no pushover! "Baby or not, he's dangerous, and when he's fully grown, how are we to know he won't attack Ling Shou or the entire sect?"

"Because we will be his pack," Shen Yuan countered knowingly, smirking slightly as he let Guiying raise his head to hover against Shen Yuan's cheek. "Deadly-Coiled Serpents are viscous and aggressive to those outside of their pack, but they are incredibly family-oriented creatures. Anyone they care for in a sense of pack or family, they will defend until the end of their lives. If Guiying believes Cang Qiong to be his pack, he will be a loyal protector until the end."

Liu Qingge glared at the hatchling, eyeing its placement around Shen Yuan's shoulders. However, before he could produce any further argument, another joined the party at his side, startled when he saw the serpent on Shen Yuan. "Yuan-shidi! Get that thing off of you!"

"There's no need to worry, Binghe-shixiong," he waved his hand dismissively, quickly looking for a way out so he and Guiying could make a run for it before both Bai Zhan disciples truly decided to take matters into their own hands. "It's already been discussed. Guiying will come back to Ling Shou with me and I will raise him, and he will know Cang Qiong as his pack. Thank you very much Qingge-shixiong!"

"Qingge!"

"I didn't agree to this!"

Taking the chance, Shen Yuan made a break for the gap in the huddle of disciples, keeping his hand on Guiying as he ran for it. "Don't worry, Guiying, I'll make sure those two don't get you!"

The serpent curled around him tighter, hissing softly as he buried himself in the Ling Shou's disciple's thick hair, finding warmth in the raven locks as the rest of him slithered beneath Shen Yuan's lapels.

Slowly down, knowing that he had enough time to at least make it to the East hall of the estate before Liu Qingge or Luo Binghe caught up with him, he patted his shoulders gently. Reassured that Guiying was snuggled up safely inside his robes to keep warm. "I'll build you a little hut of blankets once we get back until you're accustomed to Ling Shou, it can get pretty cold up there. You can stay with me until you're big enough to stay near the base of the mountain, that's where some of the bigger beasts sometimes roam into Cang Qiong, you'll be able to hunt there."

Guiying hissed along to what he said, as though adding to the one-sided conversation. Serpents were rather smart after all; it wouldn't be a surprise to him if Guiying actually understood him perfectly. It felt nice to have someone to listen to his muttering and chime in, even if it was only in hisses.

"We leave in the morning, Guiying..." The pit in his stomach returned, and suddenly the prospect seemed rather bleak. "How much would you bet we'd only make it to dawn before those two caught up with us?"

Guiying trilled softly, his muzzle nudging against Shen Yuan's jaw affectionately. "Mn, you're right, we wouldn't make it very far..." The flicks of the serpent's tongue made Shen Yuan shiver and then laugh, reaching into his hair to gently scratch beneath Guiying's chin. "What a wonderful listener I have with me. How lucky I am, Guiying. Once you're bigger, do you think you could help me run away every now and then? I think you'd rather like the Borderlands, His Majesty has told me quite a lot about them."

"Bro!" Ah, good timing! Shang Qinghua practically barreled into him, wrapping his arms around Shen Yuan's midsection as he screeched. "Why do you keep running—Oh what the fuck is that!?" Jumping back, Shen Yuan couldn't help but laugh at his friend's skittishness.

"This is Guiying, introduce yourself politely. He's been through a lot today, be kind."

Shang Qinghua gawked for a moment at the sight of the large hatchling. Looking between his friend and the serpent whose entire body was hidden beneath Shen Yuan's robes, and whose head was submerged by raven locks. It was almost funny if not for the fact he was staring into the eyes of a predator, which one he was staring at was still yet to be determined. "Ah...Hi Guiying, I'm Shang Qinghua?"

Shen Yuan nodded happily, scratching beneath Guiying's chin again as something came to mind. Pursing his lips, he asked. "Qinghua...does it truly seem like Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe are...Ugh! Does it really seem like all three of us are together in that sort of sense?"

Caught by surprise, Shang Qinghua faltered for a moment, taking in his friend's serious and confused expression. Such an expression at that! So offended and worried, it was as if someone had accused him of a scandal, and now he was coming to Shang Qinghua to be sure that he hadn't accidentally partaken in that scandal himself!

"Qinghua! Don't laugh!"

"Haha! Ah...B-Bro! Sorry, sorry!" Holding his sides, Shang Qinghua tried to breathe through the fit, but each glance at his friend's face only made it worse! "Haha!"

"Qinghua!"

"Co-Come on bro! The answer must be obvious!"

"Luo Binghe is literally the future master of a harem of women, and Liu Qingge has only ever been interested in hunting beasts and battling! Do I look like a woman or a beast to you!? Where are these accusations even coming from!? Even Qi-shijie accused me earlier!"

His laughing only got worse after that.

"Bro!"

"Yuan! Wife...please! You've got to be joking!"

"I hate you, husband." Shen Yuan turned away from his friend. Glaring and pouting as he reached up to pet Guiying. Screw this. He didn't need soulmates, a best friend, or anyone else! He was just fine with Xiao Yingzi and Guiying! He'd be sure to visit his parents often, but he wasn't putting up with this anymore! "I'm leaving, tell my peak siblings that I went to go live with the Deadly-Coiled Serpents at the bottom of the cliff."

"Oh, come on bro! Come back! I'll help!"

"No! Go away!"

"Shidi!"

What was he whining about now? "What's Binghe-shixiong whining about now?"

Affronted, Luo Binghe grumbled under his breath before proclaiming loudly. "Shidi is riding too far ahead and keeps going faster when we try to ride beside him!"

"You both still scare Guiying." Shen Yuan retorted quickly, opening his lapels slightly to reveal the serpent hidden beneath his outer robe. "Perhaps if you both apologized to him, then this one wouldn't have to ask Yingzi to speed up, he's rather fond of his new brother, don't you know? He'd be upset if you scared Guiying."

"We're not apologizing to a damn beast." Liu Qingge growled, crossing his arms as he glared at the sliver of color he could see peeking through Shen Yuan's hair. Damn thing couldn't even ride in the saddle bag? It just had to ride on Shen Yuan himself. "You still shouldn't have brought it. It would be easier to just kill it."

"Him, Shixiong." Shen Yuan corrected chidingly, sending a glare over his shoulder at the older head disciple. "Also, Guiying is now an affiliate with Ling Shou, so he is of Cang Qiong. Shouldn't Shixiong be more welcoming? He's only a baby after all."

"What baby is that thing?!" Luo Binghe shouted, worked up over the fact that Shen Yuan had quite literally avoided them for the past two days all because of some beast! "It'll grow to be a killer, and then it will be a problem to deal with, why not just kill it now?"

Shen Yuan turned his head to glare at Luo Binghe this time. What was with these two? Surely they couldn't hold so much bias! Guiying was entirely innocent! He wasn't responsible for the attack, nor was he to blame for what happened! What child could be blamed for the circumstances or sins of their parents?

Xiao Yingzi snorted beneath him, throwing his head about slightly upon sensing Shen Yuan's worsening mood. Xiao Yingzi had surprisingly been gentle toward Guiying when first introduced, likely due to the time spent with Zhuzhi-Lang, he was used to snakes. So, there had been no problems there, and yet his Shixiong had to act so cruel and mean towards such a sweet thing? Guiying was just an affectionate little hatchling! What was dangerous about him, hm? He'd grow big enough to deal with even the most dangerous beasts that dared to lurk around Cang Qiong Mountain's base; he'd be more help than danger! Not to mention Deadly-Coiled Serpents only had to eat every few months! There would be no risk to have him around as long as he was given his opportunities to hunt when he needed to!

They were closer to Cang Qiong now, the procession was still behind them, but that didn't mean Shen Yuan had to let Guiying hear all of these nasty things! What a way to enter his new home, being threatened! Pah! "This one believes it best if he, Guiying, and Yingzi all ride ahead to report to Qiong Ding." Not waiting for the response of his Shixiong, Shen Yuan clicked his tongue and pressed his hand against Guiying where he was curled up in his robes, and leaned forward as Xiao Yingzi whinnied and charged off.

"Yuan!"

"Yuan-shidi!"

Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe both looked at each other and then where their Shidi continued to fade further into the distance, a shared expression of annoyance and ire on their faces.

Great, now they had the damn horse and the damn serpent to worry about!

Chapter Text

As to be expected, Xiao Yingzi was able to make it back to Cang Qiong well before the rest of the procession, and Shen Yuan quickly took the chance to guide him back to the well-worn and hidden path that led them back to Ling Shou. He’d talk to his parents later, much, much later. As soon as he could think things clearly and make sure Guiying was comfortable.

The scent of the dove trees immediately made his shoulders fall, easing the anxiety in his gut, and welcoming him back home. He opened his lapels to coax Guiying out of his hiding place, allowing the serpent to see his new home as well. “Welcome home, Guiying, I believe you will like it here.”

“Xiao-Shidi?”

Perfect! Who better for Guiying to meet than Ci Liang? “Da-Shijie!” Dismounting Xiao Yingzi, Shen Yuan grinned as he ran to meet his Da-Shijie, laughing when the woman hugged him tightly, being sure to keep her force away from his chest and shoulders. “You need to meet someone!”

“I do?” Her tone was light and happy, and it reassured Shen Yuan to open his lapels completely, allowing Guiying to slither free and hover out to greet Ci Liang. “Oh my, a Deadly-Coiled Serpent? Was that the beast you and the others were called to deal with? I’m surprised you could find a hatchling on his own, normally they don’t leave their mother’s side until they're fully grown.”

“We were called to deal with a pack. His mother was slain, but she saved my life from Ox-Rose Vines, and Guiying is only a hatchling, so I knew he could grow to see Ling Shou and Cang Qiong as his pack.”

“A smart idea,” Ci Liang hummed, reaching forward to offer her wrist to the serpent, allowing the hatchling to scent her while encouraged by Shen Yuan. “He will make for a defensive ally and protector.”

Once he had his fill and was accustomed to the woman’s scent, Guiying retreated back to the comfort of Shen Yuan’s hair. Hissing softly as he nudged his muzzle against Shen Yuan’s jaw affectionately. “And rather affectionate as well?” Ci Liang chuckled. What a Shidi she had, able to tame and befriend even the wildest of beasts.

“Guiying is very sweet,” he agreed, nodding his head, and reaching out to encourage Xiao Yingzi to come forward. The horse responded kindly, even leaning down to sniff at Guiying, ah they were already friends! How perfect! “Even Xiao Yingzi likes him! They’re brothers already!”

“Brothers?” Ci Liang chuckled, snorting at the sight of Guiying reaching up to try and slither onto Xiao Yingzi’s muzzle, all the while the steed’s stare bore into Guiying. “What an idea, who knew Yingzi could be so caring?”

“I did!” Shen Yuan boasted pridefully. He’d always told everyone that Xiao Yingzi was very sweet and compassionate! Turning slightly to reach up to pet Xiao Yingzi’s mane, he praised his companion. “Yingzi is going to be the best big brother! Guiying already loves him too!”

Laughing, Ci Liang nodded as she stepped forward and reached out to pat her Xiao-Shidi’s back. “Where are the others then?” How strange it was to see her Xiao-Shidi on his own, normally their peak siblings rarely gave him a break.

“Ah, this one went ahead, they should be here soon.”

“Oh? So has Xiao-Shidi gone to Qiong Ding yet?”

“No…”

Ci Liang laughed at that, shaking her head as she whistled shortly. Shen Yuan and Xiao Yingzi followed behind her as she nudged him to settle the horse in the stables before leading him along again. However, Shen Yuan couldn’t help but amble, overcome with a sense of dread.

It wouldn’t be too bad to see his A-die. His A-die was strong, no doubt as strong as Luo Binghe would be soon, and there was little doubt in his mind that if it came down to it; he’d never have a single chance of beating his father in a fight.

But his Baba…

His A-die was strong, an unmovable mountain, and with the same determination. However, where his A-die was rigid and unbreakable, his Baba was flexible and limper, like the branches of a willow. Graceful and ethereal, something to be admired throughout the ages, but destructible.

In the end, he hadn’t seen his A-die’s death. He heard it, he heard the clamor, felt the very earth tremble from the power it took to make that mountain crumble, but there was no evidence aside from the shatters of his sword. It had taken an entire army, ten thousand poison arrows, and the power of the Demon Lord himself to fell the Sect Leader of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, and even then, it had taken so much that it left nothing behind.

But his Baba…not only had he seen his death, but he also had a hand it in. At the very end, in that terrible and destructive moment of hatred and despair, he’d been left with no choice. His Baba had been nothing but a husk, without the means or will to live, and in those eyes that were too similar to his own, he’d seen the urge.

The unmistakable and oh-so painfully empathetic urge to die.

The shatters of Xuan Su had laid in front of him, and his Baba hadn’t even the limb to speak to him, to tell him with his own words that it was something he desired. It was only able to be assumed, and there were still moments when Shen Yuan wondered if he had made the wrong decision. If he had seen wrong in his Baba’s gaze; if it had not been the understandable desire of death that dulled his gaze, but the flurry of hatred for the man that had stood before him.

In the end, back then, he hadn’t the time to think it over. Desperate and crazed, humanity wilting like the flowers in the winter, and sanity rotting like the roots of a tree, he’d made the only decision that he could find at the time.

He’d raised his blade and performed the act as painlessly and mercifully as humanly possible. He’d stared for as long as he was able to be sure, to be completely certain that his Baba didn’t suffer a single moment.

But who could trust the sight of a crazed man? A man who hadn’t properly spoken to a single person in over five years? Who could trust his words, his decisions, anything about him? He was the one to self-isolate for so long, he was the one to never speak about the poisons in his body, and he was the one who hid and lied to his parents so shamelessly. Who could trust him?

In the end, who could trust a man who killed his own father?

And yet again, he was thinking of the same thing.

Thinking of what he could do—what he would do, to even his parents, for the sake of them.

He is a terrible son, to kill his own father once before, and then think of doing it again over a hypothetical situation. Over something that would never happen again. What a terrible, terrible son.

Luo Binghe would never fall into the Endless Abyss, he would never suffer as he had before, the power he gained would be through trial and error where he was aided. Shen Qingqiu would never have a hand in his blackening, he would never be to blame for what might happen to Luo Binghe. There would never again be a reason to kill him, not out of necessity for the sake of a disciple, and not out of the necessity of mercy from his own son.

And yet he was thinking about it regardless.

He was truly considering how far he’d be willing to go.

Against his own parents, his beloved Baba and A-die, the two who had loved him from the start, and had been willing to lay themselves on the line for him. Here he was, thinking like this, about even them. How despicable he was.

“Xiao-Shidi?” Her Shidi looked distant. Not even the creature peering up at him through his robes caught his attention, and Ci Liang worried that if he bit down any harder, he’d pierce his canine through his lip. “Yuan-shidi?”

Her hand touched his face, and whatever trance he’d been in snapped. He jerked back, startled, but not fearful. Good. “What is on Xiao-Shidi’s mind?”

I’ve been thinking about how far I’d go for them, how it’s not even their fault. They didn’t ask me to think like this, they’d never ask it of me, and yet I’m thinking about how easy it would be to have blood on my hands. My own parents, Da-Shijie, I must be a monster. How could I think of doing such a thing to my own parents?

“I…” It hurt too much to say. He wanted to die, he truly wanted to die. Feeling like this, thinking like this, it hurt too much to imagine. To remember those terrible hours of grief and desperation as he clutched the blood-soaked tassels as the only remembrance he had of either of his parents. Of how their deaths had been one of the final straws to snap his thin composure of sanity, and how now, despite it all, he was thinking about it again. At his own hands, nonetheless. “I want to…”

Die, shrivel up, and never speak to another person, hide in a cave for the rest of my life, and jump off the rainbow bridge.

“Does Xiao-Shidi have his report from the mission?” Ci Liang held out her free hand, and Shen Yuan instinctively handed over the scroll that Shang Qinghua had written out of the entire ordeal. “Thank you, this Shijie will hand it over to one of the core disciples, while Xiao-Shidi speaks with his A-die.”

Shen Yuan jerked at that, but the hand Ci Liang had on his cheek kept him in place. There was no avoiding it, was there? Hoping to change the subject, he asked. “Da-Shijie, did you propose to Jiejie yet?”

Ci Liang recognized his tactic, but otherwise allowed it to happen, understanding that some things were easier to put off to the side for now. “Yes, it went quite well, this one thanks Yuan for all of his help.” When Shen Yuan smiled, truly and unabashedly smiled, excited and hopeful to hear more, she sighed a little to herself. Her Xiao-Shidi, so grown up now, and yet still such a little kitten. Too prone to hiding his pain within himself, so scared, and yet so open. A terribly conflicting thing. “She enjoyed the dates and the gifts of course, but Yuan-shidi was correct to assume that she would prefer to be asked on the boat ride down the Yangtze River, it was quite lovely.”

“When is the wedding planned?” Shen Yuan grinned wider. He’d have to visit his Jiejie very soon. His Da-Shijie had told him that she had crafted a specially made necklace of silver and sapphires from one of her latest missions to gift to Bai Daiyu as an engagement present. Likewise, he knew that he’d hear more detail from his Jiejie than his Da-Shijie. “Does Jiejie and Da-Shijie have any plans yet?”

“Not yet,” Ci Liang chuckled rhythmically tapping the hilt of her sword on her hip as she thought about it. Definitely a summer wedding, her A-Bai adored the summer. “But Yuan-shidi will be the first to know, of course. Your Jiejie and I will want your help with planning.”

For a moment, a brief yet beautiful moment, Shen Yuan’s thoughts focused on his Jiejie and Da-Shijie. Excitement for the future was prevalent, and for a wonderful moment, he felt relief. That is until the familiar and undeniable presence of his father came into range.

“A-Yuan!” Oh, oh how guilty that tone made him feel. “How was your mission?” Yue Qingyuan grinned at the sight of his son, a little relieved that he could steal his A-Yuan away for a moment without having to deal with the rest of the procession.

However, Ci Liang was the first to notice the way Shen Yuan’s smile fell. His shoulders hunched and he looked away as if guilty. Entirely unlikely. Her Xiao-Shidi never hid if he made a mistake, he normally was the first to speak against himself like a charged convict.

What had happened?

Yue Qingyuan was next to notice, however, before even able to reach out or ask, Ci Liang all but shoved the mission report into his hands. Giving him a single glance before turning to Shen Yuan with an encouraging smile. “Xiao-Shidi, will you show Yue-shixiong the friend you’ve made?” He looked at her at that, good. At least nothing was too out of sorts then. “If even Xiao Yingzi likes him, he truly is impressive, your father would like to see him.”

Yue Qingyuan listened closely, scanning the scroll in less than a few seconds to get the gist of it. Deadly-Coiled Serpents, an attack, Without-a-Cure, and forced bed rest. “Yes, A-Yuan, A-die would like to see.” If his smile was strained, perhaps it was for the best his son was blind.

Shen Yuan smiled at that, small and hesitant, but at least it wasn’t that worrisome frown. With a soft whistle, a head poked out from Shen Yuan’s hair, gazing up at Yue Qingyuan with wide amber eyes that left the future sect leader faltering.

A deadly serpent. Of course.

It was for his son. It was for his son. It was for his—.

“What an intriguing little thing,” he didn’t dare to reach out, but he eyed the creature warily from where it was obviously curled up beneath his A-Yuan’s robes. It wasn’t around his neck too tightly was it? What if it tried to choke him?! “Has A-Yuan named him?”

“Guiying,” Shen Yuan was the first to reach out, another good sign, and lead Yue Qingyuan’s hand to the serpent’s head. Leading him to pet the hatchling as he said. “He’s delightful, A-die, even Xiao Yingzi likes him.”

A-Yuan, my little boy, bless your heart but that is not saying much.

“Then it truly is a rare thing,” Yue Qingyuan glanced up at Ci Liang, earning a hasty nod from the woman as she took the scroll from him again, slowly moving away so Yue Qingyuan could take the lead. “Will A-Yuan follow me as he tells me about his mission? This father has been curious.”

Shen Yuan didn’t lose the bleak excitement at the request, waving to Ci Liang before following Yue Qingyuan. Good, so perhaps it wasn’t what had happened on the mission then? Truly, he didn’t have much to do, so they only began to walk around a little in a guise. Shen Yuan told him of the mission, the problem and the causes, and the solution. He spoke easily about the attack, about his part to play—too much of a part in Yue Qingyuan’s opinion, but he was proud all the same. He even went into detail about the ending, Without-a-Cure flaring up, Luo Binghe rushing in to handle the rest, and then Liu Qingge’s arrival.

There was no point in his tale that his son shriveled or grew quiet. He spoke of himself easily, the hardship of the battle as if it were nothing, even going as far as to joke about the pain he endured. It made Yue Qingyuan nervous. If it were not from Without-a-Cure or even the death his son might have been exposed to, he was almost terrified to imagine what could have been the cause of his A-Yuan’s fluctuating mood.

Finally, his worries were too much to bear, and Yue Qingyuan asked the double-edged question. “A-Yuan,” Shen Yuan halted what he was saying, truly only going on about the disciples he’d stopped when taking Guiying, so it was of no importance. “Did anything else happen? Perhaps…something that has affected A-Yuan’s mental state?”

No, no he didn’t like that expression. His A-Yuan wasn’t just frowning, but pursing his lips, eyes widened slightly before looking away as if guilty of a crime. No, crime couldn’t be the right word, what crime could his son commit? Still, a growing bud that held his hand when they walked, who smiled at even the smallest of creatures, and came to him sniffling and teary-eyed if he felt as though he’d been too rude to his Shijie or Shixiong.

No, his son could commit no such heinous crimes, at least nothing that should warrant such a fearful expression.

“A-Yuan…?” He wouldn’t even face him now. Gaze cast to the ground as Guiying’s head peaked out from amidst his hair again, hissing and trilling softly as if trying to comfort. Initial hesitation regarding the hatchling forgotten, Yue Qingyuan reached out and wrapped an arm around his son’s shoulders, leading him to lean entirely against him, something that Shen Yuan didn’t resist in the least. “Will A-Yuan tell this A-die what has happened? This one will do whatever he can to make it better.”

Shen Yuan shook his head at that, pressing the side of his face against his A-die’s chest to listen to the heartbeat. Good, still strong. “A-die can’t fix this…it’s my fault.”

“Then perhaps A-die can help A-Yuan fix it then?”

Shen Yuan hesitated at that. Could this even be fixed? Was he even at a point where he could be redeemed? Two lives lived, one already lost to despair and ruin, how could he dare to risk this one as well? But was it already too late? If he was thinking like this already, then surely that must be a sign of something.

“It might hurt, A-die…”

“If it is hurting, A-Yuan,” he tentatively coaxed Shen Yuan to gaze up at him. Petting his hair and hugging him a little tighter. “Then this A-die is more than willing to share that pain with him if it means it will stop.”

A-die…you say that, but if I told you; if I told you what I’ve done…you’d hate me. I know you’d hate me. His tears didn’t come as a surprise, but it didn’t hurt either of them any less. Yue Qingyuan hugged him all that much tighter, and Shen Yuan returned the affection just as determinedly, as though trying to display his apologies and remorse through touch alone.

Yue Qingyuan hummed softly, leading his A-Yuan to one of the trees off the path and sitting them down so his son could lean against him entirely without the threat of his legs giving out. It reminded him quite a bit of the nights they spent on the street, his A-Yuan curled up in his lap, huddled so close that if one were to put a blanket over him, it would appear as though Yue Qingyuan just had a large stomach rather than an entire person pressed against him.

Both happy and rather remorseful memories. Ones that sparked a nostalgic feeling, memories of his A-Yuan: so small and innocent, happy even then, even in such deplorable conditions, he was always so happy.

Then memories of nights his A-Yuan huddled against him in desperate search of warmth during the too-cold nights. Memories of a small babe cradled so close to his heart it would’ve been harder to tell them apart than to just say they were the same; whimpering and crying into his chest from the cold and hunger, all the while his Xiao-Jiu did everything he could to make sure that the baby they’d taken as their own—the baby that was their own—suffered no more than what they could prevent, and all the while Yue Qi held him as tightly and as safely possible, and prayed that if given the chance, he’d do whatever it take to never have to hear that precious baby cry so painfully ever again.

Even now, those prayers came to mind as his son leaned against him, once again searching for warmth from him. Only this time; he would not have to cry so painfully ever again, and he would not feel cold, or hungry, because this time Yue Qingyuan could prevent all himself. He pressed a kiss to the top of his head, thumbing the back of his neck gently to help him relax, even as Shen Yuan curled in on himself.

“A-Yuan?”

“Is it bad…” He gulped thickly, forcing down the dread that settled in his gut, threatening to rip through his flesh and eat him alive. “Is it…When you lo–. Is it bad to think of…bad things when trying to protect someone?”

Bad things? Protect someone? Who?

“What is A-Yuan referring to?”

“During the attack…they were too many serpents, and when I couldn’t fight them all alone…Binghe-shixiong was able to step in, but—.” He’d jumped off a cliff, but he’d done so in front of him, but it had reminded him of that night. It had reminded him of feeling weak, it reminded him how terrible it felt. It reminded him of his hatred, of his weakness, of his desperation. “He…To lure the serpents away, he jumped off a cliff. He was able to grab a hold of something so he didn’t fall, but I didn’t know, and—.”

“And A-Yuan believed he truly fell?”

Shen Yuan nodded this time, willing away the memories. He didn’t want to remember that time. When he’d screamed and cried for the first time in so long back then; when he’d looked at his own Baba like a complete stranger—an enemy. Only to disappear for five years. Never to be seen from or heard from by anyone, only to return too late, only to see the final shards of what could have been slipping through his guilty and bloody hands because of his selfishness.

Yue Qingyuan nodded slowly, it didn’t answer his questions, but it was a start at least for context. “It scared A-Yuan?” Another nod, but complete silence. “Did he…Did he explain why? Perhaps apologize?”

“He did.” Sighing heavily, he stretched his legs just enough to allow Guiying to slither out of his robes and wrap around his torso in a hug of sorts. “But that’s not…It wasn’t what I—. I started thinking of things, even after I knew he was okay. I started thinking of—. About things regarding them both, Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge.”

“What has A-Yuan been thinking of?”

He would hate him; he would hate him once he said it. His A-die would be so disgusted and betrayed. But Shen Yuan would kill himself from guilt sooner or later anyhow, at least he could die with a clear heart, even if he were still entirely guilty. At least this time he could die without any secrets…aside from a necessary few.

“Ab-About what I would do—. To protect them…how far I’d be willing to go…” His A-die always had such a comforting smile, he used to smile like that at him all the time back then, even when he used to only bear the cold countenance of a frozen scowl. Perhaps it was a good thing he couldn’t see it now; it would only make him feel worse. “The…The bad things I’d be willing to do.”

“Bad things?”

“Killing…Killing someone else. Hurting someone else, to protect them. I…I thought of what I could do more. I could be faster, I could be stronger, I could…I-I could ki-kill someone—.” He choked, wiping the tears on his face as he braced Guiying’s head with his hand, hoping to at least hurt one less person today. Thank the heavens his Baba wasn’t here, he’d truly die on the spot from guilt, he could only imagine the hatred. Then again, his Baba had hated him back then, hadn’t he? “Even…Even you—. Or Ba-Baba…”

Yue Qingyuan was struck into silence at that. Surprised but not…upset. If that was the right way to describe it. It was more a morbid realization rather than a disturbing one. Perhaps another person would have been off-put to hear such a confession, but he was not. If anything, he should have expected something like this all that much sooner.

It had been how his A-Yuan was raised after all.

However, such reassurances had to wait a moment longer as he wrapped his arms around Shen Yuan, pulling his son in between his legs and tucking him safely against him. He always found it easier to reassure those he cared about when he was wrapped around them, protecting them, saying with more than just his words that it was alright, that no matter what, he was there.

Besides, his son would never be too big for cuddles! Especially not from him!

Shen Yuan sniffled, murmuring hoarsely, “A-die…I’m sorry.”

“None of that, now.” Yue Qingyuan hummed, threading his fingers through his A-Yuan’s hair to rid it of the few knots before rubbing the base of his neck in soothing circles with his wrist. He’d have to remember to do this more often, even if his son wasn’t little anymore, he still needed to have either his or Xiao-Jiu’s scent on him. “There is no reason for A-Yuan to apologize to A-die.”

“But I—.”

“A-Yuan,” he cut him off softly, this time pressing a little harder against the nape of his neck to gain his attention. “A-die has thoughts like that as well, it doesn’t make you bad for having them.”

At that, Shen Yuan perked up slightly, more so out of intrigue than relief, but any opening to explain this as comfortingly as possible was better than none. “What does A-die mean?” He had thoughts like this? Of hurting other people all for the sake of someone else? His A-die? It seemed unlikely.

Yue Qingyuan settled him down, pushing him to rest his head against his shoulder again before saying, “A-die has thoughts like that quite frequently, A-Yuan. Though my thoughts normally only concern you or Baba, no one else.” Shen Yuan made an inquisitive sound, and Yue Qingyuan took it as his cue to continue. “Intrusive thoughts…ah, A-Yuan…they truly are difficult to explain. They are things that in any other circumstance, we would never do, but it does not mean we don’t think of them, or act on them in some instances.”

“But…aren’t they bad? A-die…I don’t want to hurt or—...Kill anyone. Especially not you or Baba…”

“A-Yuan, do you remember any of those children from the streets? When you were little?” The pressure on the nape of his neck decreased slightly, but the arm Yue Qingyuan had wrapped around his torso tightened slightly. When Shen Yuan only nodded curtly, the Qiong Ding Head Disciple hummed shortly before saying, “Those boys…one of them decided to play a dangerous game one day. He started a fight with Baba when you were only about four, I still don’t know what he was trying to do, but he had wanted to get to you…Of course, Baba never let it happen, but he was hurt in the process.”

At the pause, Shen Yuan felt a dread curdling in his stomach, he didn’t like where this was going. “I had been trying to find food at the time, and when I returned, Baba’s leg was mangled from shattered glass, and you were inconsolable and afraid. It was simple to calm you down, once I showed you that I could help Baba with his leg, and Baba reassured you he was alright, but he was unable to walk on his own for a week because of it.” Yue Qingyuan’s voice grew tight, but not from vulnerability or remorse, but from restraint. As if remembering this brought back a sense of nostalgic anger, as if what he spoke of was resent, as if he wanted to handle it all over again. “Does A-Yuan know what I did in response to that?”

Shen Yuan shook his head, brows furrowed as he tried to think. His A-die never fought with the other slave children back then, he was always the one to pull his Baba away from a fight and try to keep the peace, none of the other kids even messed with him. They were only afraid of his Baba because they knew that he would beat them up if they tried anything, but they never tried anything with his A-die.

“I killed him, A-Yuan.”

Any questions he had were gone within an instant, the very air in his lungs freezing as he faltered, tensing, and waiting. Waiting for his A-die to tell him it was a lie, that he hadn’t actually done something like that. But his A-die stayed silent, allowing him to process before Shen Yuan turned his head up at him, a silent question shining in hazy eyes.

“In this life, A-Yuan…there will be few truly important people to you. It is important to keep them close to you and to love them as much as possible while you have the chance. You and Baba are two very dear people to me, but with such affection, there is always bound to be some…consequence of some kind.”

“Consequence?”

“Grief, possessiveness, protectiveness,” he listed off slowly, thinking each word through before saying it as he sighed deeply. “Grief from losing the one you love, no matter how long it might last. Possessiveness from wanting to keep them close to you and sometimes to only you. And protectiveness, the undeniable urge to protect them no matter the cost.”

Without the words to respond, Shen Yuan only nudged his head against his father’s shoulder, this time finding the heartbeat inside his chest heavy. A heavy heart; burdened with purpose and sins, and yet still good. His A-die still had a good heart, no matter what.

Yue Qingyuan leaned down to rest his cheek against Shen Yuan’s head, sighing with relief at the sweet scent of mint and vanilla. It reminded him so much of his Xiao-Jiu, that refreshing and earthy scent, and yet still with the mild sweetness his own scent possessed. The perfect blend, just as were his eyes, his face, and to some degree his personality.

“My A-Yuan and my Xiao-Jiu are the dearest people to me,” he started slowly, relaxing a bit more when he felt his son’s pulse beneath his fingers. Steady and calm, with not even the slightest hint of fear. Good, his son should never be afraid of him. “When that boy had done something so awful, I thought of the very things A-Yuan had described. Only…your A-die has never been one to refrain from such thoughts. Even though I know they are wrong, A-Yuan, my only concern in this world is that you and Baba are safe and happy. I would be willing to go to any lengths to ensure that.”

A-die…I really do take after you more. Shen Yuan sniffled again, wiping the last of his drying tears and nose before wrapping his arms around his A-die. He didn’t know what to say, but he wanted his A-die to know that he understood, that he didn’t judge him, and that he was happy to know that it wasn’t just him.

“These thoughts…are not necessarily bad, A-Yuan. Yes, they are not pure or entirely good, but they are not bad. They are not born out of a place of vengeance or anger, but a place of protectiveness and the instinctual urge to keep what your very soul deems as yours safe.”

“It’s about them…A-die...Is that even alright?”

“They are your soulmates after all, A-Yuan, it’s not a bad thing to think of them in this sense. Especially if you care for them.”

He wanted to believe it, he truly did, but how could he? “But…But I had thought of it about you and Baba…that can’t be good. You and Baba aren’t bad, or mean, or scary…I don’t want to think of those things.” Petrichor and Rosewood lulled him down again, reminding him of the safety around him. His A-die was understanding, he wouldn’t be upset, and he would help.

“Baba and I aren’t dangerous, not to A-Yuan,” Yue Qingyuan clarified, clearing his throat roughly as he prepared himself. His A-Yuan still was rather naive, and he already knew his Xiao-Jiu would perhaps not be entirely on board with having this conversation so soon…or at all. “But in the sense those soulmates of yours…Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe, we are threats, and as such, your instincts have picked up on that.”

Wait what!?

Shen Yuan perked up again, eyes wide as cloudy jade met light grey. “Why would A-die and Baba be a threat to them?” What the hell? Shen Qingqiu didn’t hate Luo Binghe as much in this life! And his A-die had never been an issue before! What was this all about!?

Yue Qingyuan smiled painfully. His dear sweet, naive son. It was his own fault truly; he’d been insistent on coddling that innocent part of him. Far too desperate to keep what little remained of his baby that he’d lost so long ago, ripped away from his hands and leaving him to drown in a sea of regret and self-hatred, he’d been all too eager to keep his A-Yuan naive and innocent. Even when at times his Xiao-Jiu told him it was best to just explain the hard truth to him earlier on. He’d even asked Ci Liang to keep up the appearance herself. He didn’t necessarily regret it now, but he understood that it was a problem of some degree, ignorance was bliss after all, but this world was not blissful.

“A-Yuan…while A-die does not dislike Luo Binghe or Liu Qingge for any particular reason,” the same could not be said for Shen Qingqiu. He had made his distaste for both Bai Zhan disciples very apparent. “In the sense of courting and relationships, I as well as Baba are a threat to them because we have the power to prevent it, and just the same, they have the power to override what we may believe or want. Such opposing sides are always bound to be threats to each other, and while it was never discussed before with you, naturally Omegas have sharper instincts toward empathy and emotions than others. So, you picked up on it, and in the dire situation you were in, instincts will always take the forefront of a person’s mind.”

Wait, wait, wait! What is this with the courting and relationships talk again!?

“A-die,” he already had to deal with this from those aunties back in Zigong! Why did he have to deal with it again!? From his own A-die! “Qingge-shixiong, Binghe-shixiong, and I aren’t in any kind of relationship like that. I don’t think they want anything like that either, neither of them has said anything about it, and even when we found out we were soulmates; they both agreed they didn’t want to decide anything and just keep things as they were before. That obviously means they don’t want anything like that, A-die! They were just saying it politely, so there shouldn’t be any reason for you or Baba to be some kind of threat to them!”

Shen Yuan grinned as if he’d found the answer to every problem; as if this simple explanation would solve all their problems, and Yue Qingyuan couldn’t bear to look in his son’s eyes for too long. His poor child, what had he done? However, beyond that sympathy, he couldn’t help but feel aggrieved. Hanging off of his A-Yuan’s shoulders, being overly affectionate, addressing him so intimately, and even daring to break the rules of social etiquette to only him! Yet those two still didn’t dare to ask properly for the privilege of courting!? Let alone a discussion of some degree about desires of relationships! How bold, how shameful! Did they think his son was some floozy that they could go to and fro?

His brow twitched irritably, he had been complacent and patient with the expected discussion that Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge would surely bring to him and his Xiao-Jiu eventually about the proper blessings of courting, but not only had they done so such thing, they were even leading on his poor son!?

“A-die?” Why had his A-die’s scent gone murky? As if the Rosewood was damp from a heavy rain and another storm was only approaching. What was he thinking about? Was he worried that perhaps Shen Yuan wasn’t being truthful? He’d just have to reassure him!

“A-die don’t worry! Really, Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe don’t want anything of that sort! Liu-shixiong is always busy fighting and handling beasts, I don’t think he’d like being in a relationship at all, and Luo-shixiong likely has many—uhm…ah, he’s likely already in relations with someone else! Even the aunties back in Zigong complimented them both, so it’s not unlikely. Besides, Yuan doesn’t have—. Uhm, I don’t look like what Shixiongs have described as…ahem, desirable.”

Yue Qingyuan’s scent only soured at that, making Shen Yuan flinch slightly, sensitive senses heightened at his father’s displeasure. What had he said!? He was trying to reassure his A-die! What was he upset about now?!

Cowards, Bai Zhan or not, his Shidi or not! Those two…Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe! Not interested in relationships…likely already in one, and still acting so shamefully! Even when his poor A-Yuan was having such terrifying thoughts on their behalf! What had they said to his son!? “A-Yuan…what have those Shixiongs said to you about your looks?” Shaming his son? They must wish to die. What did they think would come of it, ha? It was as though calling the willow tree weak and nothing more than a twig! What foolishness!

Oh! That’s all it was then! “No, no! A-die, they didn’t say it to me! Yuan only heard some of his Shixiong in Ling Shou speaking about…uhm, their preferences. I didn’t listen for very long because I knew where the conversation was likely to go, but I heard how they described the type Alphas seem to have in Omegas, and Yuan didn’t fit their description! So, there is no trouble there anyhow!”

What the hell was their description!? He was almost too scared to know, what could they have possibly described that couldn’t match his son? Adorable and with the beauty of his Baba, who would want—. No, no it was for the best. It’d likely traumatize his poor son if he knew how others stared.

Perhaps Xian Shu had the right idea about having some of their disciples wear a veil. Would his A-Yuan be opposed? He’d have to ask Xiao-Jiu later.

“Nonsense,” for now, it was an issue for later. “A-Yuan is beautiful and any would be very lucky to be with him. He is also very cute!”

“A-die holds bias!”

“I do not!”

“How would you describe Baba?”

Sputtering, Yue Qingyuan stammered before defending, “A-Yuan, that’s not fair. Baba is my mate, of course, I find him beautiful!”

“Doesn’t A-die say I look like Baba the most?”

“A-Yuan…don’t use my words against me…”

“A-die holds bias because I look similar to Baba, of course, A-die would think that way! But I don’t look exactly like Baba either! Baba is effortlessly beautiful, I’m not, so that’s why I don’t fit the description.”

A-Yuan, why would you smile while saying that!? You look as if you just won the game when you just degraded yourself!? Son, why do you look so happy about that!?

“A-Yuan…” His poor baby! Hadn’t he always called his A-Yuan cute and beautiful!? Why would he think like this!? Who said what to him!? Xiao-Jiu give him strength! “Don’t say things like that.”

Shen Yuan shrugged at that, calmed down enough now that standing on his own posed no problem, and he grabbed his A-die’s hand to pull him up as well. “A-die is still biased. But this one looks a bit more like A-die in his opinion, and A-die is very beautiful too, so it doesn’t matter. I don’t want to fit their description anyway…it was too erotic.”

What the hell did they say!?

Guiying hissed softly from Shen Yuan’s shoulder, and Shen Yuan smiled down at the creature before saying, “A-die, let’s see Baba now. Thank you for the help.”

He needed to talk to Xiao-Jiu; he didn’t know what to say! This couldn’t be a good sign, could it?! Why did his son think like this!? Why did he have to have soulmates at all?! Why couldn’t the heavens just let his sweet son stay pure?

Sighing, he nodded slowly. “Alright, the procession should be back as well, A-die will greet them before we go to speak with Baba.”

Shen Yuan walked a bit lighter, reassured by his A-die’s comfort, and with Guiying nudging against his cheek every now and then, his heart was at ease. Yue Qingyuan, however, only felt aggrieved. He had thought Liu Qingge a gentleman, and that Luo Binghe; he wasn’t entirely familiar, but he hadn’t seemed like the type to be like this. How looks can be deceiving! Once again, he was shown just why to never doubt his Xiao-Jiu’s instincts.

Just as they had expected, the rest of the procession had returned, only it was not just them who was there. “Was I talking to you beast? Brute, reign in your dog.”

“Shen Qingqiu!”

“Shut up, bitch!”

Ah, it seemed they wouldn’t have to go very far to find Shen Qingqiu after all.

“Baba!” Cutting in quickly, Shen Yuan surged forward, to take away his Baba’s attention. Those three, they never really could have a good relationship with each other. “Baba, don’t be upset, whatever happened likely was just an accident.”

Shen Qingqiu turned at the voice, finding his son with his arms wrapped around his torso. Shen Yuan had grown to his height, if only a few centimeters shorter, but still this son of his crouched and lowered himself to lean against him. Hug him and practically replicate his stance as a child, how sweet, what a good son he had.

However, his attention was quickly obstructed when he saw the scaled head poking out from his son’s hair. “Qinglin,” he led Shen Yuan to stand to his full height, eyeing the serpent that stared directly at him. “What is this?”

Shen Yuan whistled curtly, and Guiying slithered out of his robes, coiling around his arm until his head rested in Shen Yuan’s palm, allowing the youth to display him. “This is Guiying, Baba. He is of Ling Shou now, and a friend of mine, he is rather sweet.”

Shen Qingqiu eyed the hatchling, glancing at Yue Qingyuan who nodded shortly before turning to look at the rest of the procession. Qi Qingqi didn’t look surprised, Shang Qinghua appeared focused more on the scrolls in hand, Jiong Qingshi even looked a bit intrigued himself, and the rest of Ling Shou only grinned, pride clear on their faces. However, the two he noticed most of all, the two brutes, both glared at the hatchling.

Interesting.

Grinning viciously, Shen Qingqiu hummed softly as he snapped open his fan and nodded approvingly. “Very well then. If he is deemed safe then having him could keep away…” He eyed the two he’d been arguing with coldly. “Unwanted beasts.”

He expected some kind of fond exasperation from Yue Qingyuan and if nothing more than a smile from his son: who likely wouldn’t understand his innuendo. Instead, however, Yue Qingyuan’s placid smile fell and he nodded grimly, as though reminded of a foul taste in his mouth. What a reaction from his Qi-ge, he’d have to question him about it later.

“It was rather interesting,” Qi Qingqi hummed, smirking at her Shidi before focusing on her Shen-shixiong. “Qinglin-shidi was able to pick him up and cuddle him without a single hesitation, it was quite the surprise…among other things.” She eyed the Bai Zhan disciples to her left, and with only a single glance at Shen Qingqiu, the two shared a single thought. We’ll talk over tea later.

With that, the Xian Shu disciples left, having already given their reports, and the others were not slow to do the same behind them. Shang Qinghua departed with a quick slap to the shoulder for Shen Yuan as the rest of Ling Shou headed back to regale their peak siblings of their mission.

Once it was only the five who remained, Shen Yuan could sense his Baba’s gaze and smiled reassuringly. “Guiying is still young, Baba.” Shen Yuan clarified, humming curtly before Guiying slithered back into his lapels for warmth. “He won’t be big enough to hunt any real beasts for another year.”

“No matter,” Shen Qingqiu fanned himself languidly as he smirked. Those brutes thought they could just come up to Qiong Ding and demand answers from him. Asking again and again where his son was? Crude and temperamental beasts. They wanted to behave like beasts, they could be treated as such! “He will come of use eventually. It’s better to have measured prepared beforehand anyhow.”

“Yuan,” Liu Qingge cut in, glaring at Shen Qingqiu. He knew well and good what that man was thinking, and he’d be damned if this haughty bastard tried to get one over on him. “He could still pose a danger one day once he’s bigger. There is no guarantee that he will be tame.”

“Were we talking to you brute?” Shen Qingqiu snapped, snapping his fan shut as he gently tapped his jaw with it repeatedly. “This Shixiong doesn’t believe that my son asked for your opinion.”

“Baba—.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Liu Qingge hissed, stepping forward to stand against Shen Qingqiu directly. “You’re risking Yuan’s safety—.”

“I’m risking his safety?” He laughed without a shred of humor, a dangerous glint burning emerald eyes with hot embers of flames simmering beneath a cold exterior. “Last I remember, I was never the one to cause him to take an arrow for another.”

The quip stung. An old wound too close to his heart to be taken lightly. He’d mulled over that battle for over a year, nights he’d spent comparing that night to their final stand from a life long since lost. Never once had another person spoken up about what happened, placing no blame despite his own opinion. But to hear it so forthright: hurt. It hurt in ways he wasn’t prepared for, nor ready to handle.

Luo Binghe growled behind him, just as affected, but Liu Qingge raised his arm before his Shidi would surge forward and start a brawl. His seal was weakening again, he could already see it, his eyes were tinted with a malicious light, and they needed to leave quickly.

“Baba!” Such a cold comeback! It was the last thing he expected, and surely one of the lowest blows he’d ever seen his Baba take! It was well over a year ago, and Without-a-Cure had caused him no problem thanks to Liu Qingge and Luo Binghe, why was his Baba bringing this up so suddenly!? “Baba, that’s too cruel—.”

“Is it cruel to speak the truth, Qinglin?” Shen Qingqiu cut him off. Not coldly or with a sharp tone, but a genuine question, and it left Shen Yuan stumped. He’d been annoyed with his Shixiongs over their bias toward Guiying, but he would never say something like that! Not even if he was angry! He didn’t want to hurt them, and suddenly, everything his A-die had explained to him was starting to make sense.

His Baba truly would always be a threat to them…wouldn’t he?

It was a morbid truth and not one he preferred, but he couldn’t let it go on like this. Not when he could feel Luo Binghe’s fury practically boiling his spiritual energy into something darker and Liu Qingge’s knuckles cracking might as well have been bones shattering beneath his palm.

“Baba, it’s still too cruel.” He stepped between them, standing in front of Liu Qingge as he took his father’s hand, hoping that he’d at least see reason for this. “The truth is never as black and white as it seems. If it was my own choice, how is it anyone’s fault but my own?”

Shen Qingqiu scoffed but otherwise didn’t argue. He’d said what he wanted to, and he knew that it had left the impact he wanted. If those two couldn’t learn how to behave, then he’d just have to remind them of the consequences they’d already wrought.

“Yuan-shidi,” Luo Binghe cut in slowly, ignoring the still-present serpent beneath his Shidi’s robes for a moment. Why couldn’t they just leave? They should just leave. “Let’s go—.”

“Luo-shidi,” Yue Qingyuan smiled curtly at the both of them, though the expression did not meet his eyes, nor the hands clenched behind his back. Luo Binghe’s eye twitched at the demeanor, what was this all of a sudden? “This one and Qingqiu actually need to have a word with our son, if you’ll excuse us.” He offered his arm to Shen Qingqiu: who took it without hesitation, before reaching out to lead Shen Yuan away by his shoulder, leaving the Bai Zhan disciples to grind their teeth and share yet another realization.

It was not just the beasts they’d have to worry about then.

Chapter Text

"Yuan-er!" Zhuzhi-Lang hissed as he slithered forward, meeting the youth halfway before rearing up at the new scent with him. "How kind of you to visit us!"

Shen Yuan rolled his eyes at Tianlang-Jun's tone, whistling softly to encourage Guiying out of his robes. "This one apologizes for taking so long, there have been...many developments since we last spoke." When Guiying slithered out of his lapels, he and Zhuzhi-Lang held eye contact for a long moment before Zhuzhi-Lang's tail patted Shen Yuan's ankle encouragingly and Shen Yuan laughed as he set Guiying down. "Thank you, Zhuzhi-Lang. This one took in Guiying after his most previous mission."

Tianlang-Jun hummed thoughtfully at the sight, finding it almost funny as he watched Guiying and Zhuzhi-Lang slither over to a warmer patch of ground that Shen Yuan had spelled with a few talismans a few months ago in preparation for winter. How he wished he could speak snake tongue, he could only imagine the gossip! So unfair!

"That we can tell, Yuan-er." He eyed the youth playfully, it would be quite hard to miss this particular development. Two white and oh-so fluffy ears twitched in the cold hair, and a bushy white tail was curled around his leg, swaying side from side before curling around his calf every few intervals. "Will you tell this Emperor the story?"

Oh, how he wished to pet the fluffy ears! Yuan-er was already such a sweet-looking boy, but now adding this to it? Son, you better keep a close eye out! People will definitely try to steal him from you!

Shen Yuan hummed as he pulled a blanket out of his qiankun pouch and kneeled before Tianlang-Jun, wrapping the blanket around the half-corpse heavenly demon the same someone would a scarf before taking a seat against the mountain. "Where exactly would His Majesty wish me to start?" It had started to snow this past month, and he worried Tianlang-Jun might be uncomfortable.

Tianlang-Jun sighed appreciatively at the gesture, truly, the cold hardly ever bothered him but he wouldn't say such a thing against Yuan-er's gift. "Perhaps start with the... animalistic traits, Yuan-er."

"Ling Shou cultivates with many beasts and flora, and as such it affects our cultivation base, many of us can even inhabit more animalistic traits on the regular. However, this one and many others of his peak are able to actually summon the traits of our spirit animals, and it can enhance our senses." He paused at this, taking a moment to take a long look at Tianlang-Jun himself, a glowing yet dim silhouette of royal purple, rather fitting if he had to guess. "Likewise, for this one, it has allowed me to see qi. Only with my traits present, I can see qi as one would see shadows. There are no details, but I can sense and see people I know, also I can see their spirit animal as well!"

"My, my! How interesting, Yuan-er!" Extending his hand, Shen Yuan took it without hesitation, yet another gesture that didn't fail to make Tianlang-Jun smile. "Can you tell this Emperor what his spirit animal is?"

Shen Yuan nodded, looking past the present silhouette only to find a dragon, just the same as Luo Binghe! "His Majesty's spirit animal is a dragon, just the same as Binghe-shixiong."

"Ah, so that son of mine has the same spirit as me?"

"In some sense," Shen Yuan nodded, chuckling when he saw the silhouettes of Zhuzhi-Lang and Guiying slither around each other, quiet trills and hisses exchanged in conversation. "A spirit animal is something that is based on character traits. It is something that is embodied by each person, while two people may have the same spirit animal, they are not always entirely alike."

Tianlang-Jun made an understanding sound before Shen Yuan asked. "How has the plant body been?"

"It has been doing well," Zhuzhi-Lang slithered over to them at that, and Tianlang-Jun chuckled as he said. "My nephew has been dutiful in taking care of it as Yuan-er had instructed."

Shen Yuan smiled as he nodded to Zhuzhi-Lang appreciatively before standing to check on it himself. As he walked over, he could already sense and feel the energy growing from within it. A heavy air around it with the mix of holy light and shadows coursing through each other into a bleak grey silhouette. Strong and undoubtedly to make the perfect host for Tianlang-Jun.

"Less than a decade," Shen Yuan decided as he cupped the petals of the growing bud. It would sprout into a truly magnificent flower once it was ready to harbor Tianlang-Jun's soul, and he was rather excited to see it for himself. "His Majesty will be free in less than a decade, this one is sure. Once he is peak lord, this one will also come for often, I will be able to speed it up and—."

"Now, now," he laughed, waving the mangled remains of his hand idly as he laughed at Shen Yuan's vibrant excitement. "Don't get too worked up now, Yuan-er. As a peak lord, you will be busy, and this one is more than alright with the passage of time, do not concern yourself so much."

"It is of no concern," he rose from the ground and brushed off his knees, huffing as he said. "This one is not bothered. He would do it willingly." Shen Yuan walked back over to the base of the mountain, taking his seat with his tail wrapped around his leg.

Tianlang-Jun hummed appreciatively, enjoying the conversation before a topic he had been increasingly interested in sprung to life within his mind. "Now, Yuan-er, this one must ask, how goes the relationship between you, my son, and Liu Qingge?" However, the grin that had split his lips faltered when he saw Shen Yuan roll his eyes and then groan. Now what was that reaction? He didn't like that reaction very much! "Yuan-er?"

Clearing his throat, Shen Yuan clarified. "Don't take this the wrong way, Majesty, but this one has just grown a bit tired of the conversation..." It had already been enough when he had to explain it to his A-die, and then his Baba had something to say about it! Within just the past month since they returned, he hadn't been able to properly see either Luo Binghe or Liu Qingge, at the very least not without someone interrupting or coming to bring up such a topic. It was getting old. "This one has just been asked about it quite frequently."

Oh? Have they finally gotten together? Yuan-er, don't be so embarrassed! It's completely normal for people to be curious about a new courting! If anything just let that son of mine speak to them!

"This one understands, Yuan-er." Grinning he couldn't help but feel a bit excited. They still had some time until the plant body was ready, but his Yuan-er was already so filial to his father-in-law! So, there would be very little that he'd miss, and he couldn't help but feel the need to tease that son of his once he could do so face-to-face! To think it took his son this long already to get his soulmates within his claws! He should have taught him a bit more about the act of courting before, even if he had only been a child at the time. "What has Yuan-er told them?"

"This one has merely explained that none of us are in relation with each other in that way. Likewise, Binghe-shixiong and Qingge-shixiong do not have the intention of that kind, and our close friendship is merely that."

WHAT!?!

Coughing, Tianlang-Jun felt what remained of his chest clench. Not in relation!? No intention!? Son, what the fuck are you doing!? "Yuan-er...are you—. Perhaps there have just merely been some misunderstandings?" That better be what the fuck is going on here! Screw his planning before, he'd have Yuan-er bring that son of his here early so he could chew out his ear! No relation!? Pah!

"This one believes so as well," Shen Yuan nodded, thankful that finally there was at least one person not to question his explanation. Thank goodness for Tianlang-Jun and his emotional maturity! Of course, the previous Emperor of the Demon Realm would be so adept! He should have spoken with him first! "Even my A-die and Baba had their...assumptions based on the 'lack of etiquette,' along with a few of my Shijie and some aunties from our previous mission. This one has had to explain multiple times that Binghe-shixiong is merely affectionate through touch as any other display can be rather pointless, and Qingge-shixiong merely tries to help lead me around by grabbing my sleeve sometimes. Not to mention those two wrestle and fight like dogs already, but that's just how Bai Zhan operates!"

If he could move his hands enough, or perhaps Yuan-er had been gracious enough to bring him a strip of cloth, he would have ripped it to shred between his teeth to vent his frustration. Misunderstandings!? His son and that Liu Qingge fellow were breaking every bit of formal etiquette! Of course, there would be an assumption! Affectionate through touch, leading him around!? Who was he to blame here!?

However, upon seeing Shen Yuan's truly content expression, seemingly at ease explaining all of this to someone who wasn't questioning his resolve or understanding, Tianlang-Jun couldn't bring himself to blame him. "This one understands..." However, what the fuck was going on here!? Did this new generation just forget how proper courting works?! Why wasn't either his son or Liu Qingge stepping up!? "Yuan-er...have you ever thought of your relationship being anything more?"

Shen Yuan faltered at that. No one really asked him if he wanted such a thing, or if that's how he'd seen it, and of course it wasn't! He never saw their relationship as anything more than friendship! So, why would he want anything more than that? From the very beginning, his entire goal had just been to get off of their hate list and perhaps build a mutual ground of respect and understanding. Which had gone even better than planned! Now they were both his closest friends and martial brothers! What more could he want from that?

"Of course not." What a silly question to ask anyway! No wonder no one else asked, the answer was obvious! He hadn't! "Why would this one think of such a thing?"

Tianlang-Jun hummed slowly at that, eyeing Shen Yuan's expression scrutinizingly. "They are your soulmates, Yuan-er, there is no shame in thinking of such things. Likewise, no one could blame you for hoping for such things either." This youth was always rather sacrificial. It was something he'd noticed early on.

From coming here of his own volition to helping free the previous Emperor of the Demon Realm no matter the cost that could come to him, all for a young man he'd claimed to dislike at the time, it was all rather clear. Each thing given seemed to always come at a cost for this young cultivator, and normally only out of his own choosing. It was baffling just as much as it was admirable. However, it was also something that he couldn't watch happen in this happenstance as well.

Just this once, son, this father of yours will help you with the first steps. But from there you must take the reigns yourself!

Shen Yuan pursed his lips at the statement. He'd never let his thoughts travel that far. When he thought of things, he thought of the long term. When he thought of Ling Shou, he could see himself being the peak lord, leading the next generation, teaching, and staying there. That was a future he could foresee.

But anytime he thought of the future when it came to Luo Binghe or Liu Qingge, the only things that came to mind were what had come to pass. Isolation, separation, hatred, and failure. His own self-isolation from his soulmates, the separation between all of them, the hatred that was shared like a poisonous wine in a banquet of lies, and the failure of no one other than him to prevent it.

Liu Qingge would be a formidable war god, he would slay every beast in his path, and as such, he wouldn't be in Cang Qiong Mountain all that much. Luo Binghe would become the ruler of the Demon Realm, and perhaps even all three realms with a harem of six hundred women at least, and he...

He would be as he always was. He would stay where needed, he would do all that he could, and he would pray for a better future than what he had created back then.

That was all he could think of. Soulmates or not, what is done is what will happen, it was only through his prayers and influence that he could hope that at the very least, he would not have to watch both of them descend from the pedestal of their heavens into the craters of the earth ever again.

"This one...would never be so bold to think of such things."

"What about them, Yuan-er? Do you think they've thought of things like that?"

Now that was a question! He could almost start laughing! Shen Yuan snorted at the inquiry, truly what an idea! Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge ever thought of such a thing? Unlikely! Totally unlikely! "Majesty, truly your sense of humor is rather uncalled for!"

"Yuan-er!" Tianlang-Jun whined good-naturedly, trying his best to coax out the response he wanted without having to speak too brazenly. He knew this future son-in-law of his! Yuan-er was rather thin-faced! It wouldn't do him well to speak too forthright. "Now, now, this one was serious! Have you ever assumed they might think of such a thing?"

Shen Yuan rolled his eyes fondly, Tianlang-Jun was no better than those aunties from Zigong! Running purely on gossip! Where did he even get this gossip from anyway? "Of course, they wouldn't have thought of such things either!" Shen Yuan extended his legs, playing with a bit of the snow on the ground as he giggled at the thought. How would those two even fare in a relationship together? They already fought like dogs and cats! "Liu Qingge only ever thinks about hunting beasts and being strong, and Luo Binghe surely has other admirers already, or perhaps...ahem, others whom he has interest of that sort in. Neither of them would think of such things if they were already committed to something else!"

I truly can't tell if this is purposeful ignorance or just true genuine innocence! Yuan-er, please! This one merely wants to see his dreams come to fruition!

"Regardless," he huffed as he spoke, reliving the lecture his Baba had given him about proper etiquette, proper distance, and other such things. Saying that now he was older he was to ensure others maintained these ideals around him. Wasn't that a bit hypocritical though? Putting the sole pressure and blame on others when he himself could be just as responsible? "My Baba and A-die already agreed that it was all likely just misunderstanding and the forgetfulness of etiquette, they both told me to just make sure it was maintained from now on so no other mishaps could happen."

Those bitches! Where was the cloth?! He needed to rip something! Bite its head clean off! Those two—. He was all for playing nice to his fellow in-laws, but purpose sabotage was too far! Very well, three could play that game!

Humming sharply, Tianlang-Jun smiled maliciously as he crooned. "Oh, Yuan-er, of course! Your parents are correct on that end at the very least. This one even has forgotten etiquette himself a few times in the presence of close friends and family, it truly is just an honest mistake." Playing into the honeyed tone, he took Shen Yuan's confused countenance as his sign and said. "However, this one only worries about his son and that Liu Qingge..."

Shen Yuan's relaxed stature fell almost instantly and Tianlang-Jun almost had the heart to stop himself before that worried furrow of his brow deepened until it became true horror-stricken worry. Ah, his poor Yuan-er! Father-in-law will make it up to you one day! But for now, I have to make sure your parents do not sabotage this! No matter how much at fault my son is!

"Majesty, what do you mean?" Ah! Even his tone had changed so quickly! Truly there was no doubt how this poor youth felt about those two, he just needed an encouraging coax to lead him in the right direction! "What could worry you about Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge?"

The use of their full names? How easy it was to get the Ling Shou Head Disciple riled up! Even his ears were twitching nervously! "This Emperor is the same as any father, Yuan-er, truly! As an Alpha, this one has experienced it himself, and worries for his son and even that Liu Qingge now." Shen Yuan's tail slapped against the ground almost irritably, his eyes narrowing as he tried to think. He was being a bit cruel at the moment, but he couldn't let his hopes and dreams die so easily! "You see, Yuan-er, just as every young Omega must experience their...ahem, cycle of nature at least a few times a year once they are of age, the same can be said for a young Alpha, even though they only experience it twice a year. As such, with that son of mine and that Liu Qingge both being of age, if not Liu Qingge already being far past it since he is older; this one merely worries how such changes will affect them."

"Changes? What changes is His Majesty referring to?" He really didn't know much about ruts, nor did he know much about heats. Back then, he avoided those topics as if they were a plague. Any discussion of reproduction, sex-ed, even substantial etiquette, he weaseled his way out of. He wore his amulet every moment back then, so scents were of no issue to him, and even though he was ashamed to admit it now, he took illegal heat pills just about daily back then to practically kill off his natural cycle and stop his heats entirely.

Not a healthy choice by any means, and something that had caused him insufferable fevers, and an even weaker immune system than that of which he already suffered. But he'd been persistent back then, and any traces of his true domination were to be banished and executed from his body in any way he could possibly think of. Even if those ways were not the safest.

Something Shang Qinghua had advocated to him relentlessly.

Even now, he hadn't experienced one, which made him wonder if all the damage he had done to his previous self had somehow followed him into this body. Not an unwagerable notion mind you, but it would cause a problem for him if he were found out. But that also meant he didn't know much about them. His Da-Shijie had tried a few times to have the conversation with him, but he'd ignored her vehemently, and any time either of his parents tried, he'd beg them to stop. The basic and bare minimum information he had on heats came solely from the few conversations he'd walked in on with his Jiejie or Shijies that he had likewise also scurried away from just as quickly!

Ignorance was bliss until it put you in situations like this! Because now he didn't even know what the hell Tianlang-Jun was talking about!

Okay, fine, ignoring sex-ed is a bad idea, I get it!

If he weren't on a mission at the moment, Tianlang-Jun perhaps would feel worried about the genuine confusion on the youth's face. "This one is merely referring to the change in the relationship between you three. Of course, maintaining etiquette is important, but with such a sudden change, especially at the age you three are at. It can cause some...pains."

"Majesty, please explain further."

"Of course, of course, Yuan-er! This one only means that young Alphas especially thrive on physical connection. As you have said, that son of mine and Liu Qingge are rather physically affectionate, and that is a bit of their nature shining through! Has Yuan-er ever truly been around another Alpha close to rut or during rut season?"

Shen Yuan squirmed a bit at the question. He'd been around his parents before, but that truly only entailed them scenting him more, being a bit more clingy in terms of him sleeping over at either one of their residences and other such behavior. But he'd only ever truly been around them since it was by order! In the past years of being in Cang Qiong, during the two seasons when Alphas were at their most heightened sense of domination, he'd only ever spent the week or so of fluctuating hormones with his parents and once with his Da-Shijie.

His other Shixiong and Shijie normally went to the northern end of the peak to stay there with each other so no discomfort would be brought on the others in the peak, but just once when he spent a day or two with his Da-Shijie during the season—since she couldn't leave the younger disciples as the eldest among their generation no matter the season—she had been similar to his parents.

A bit clingy, heavy on the scenting, and a bit more strict on her rules about his eating habits and sleep schedule. But there hadn't been many other differences that he could note other than a stronger scent. Once his parents had come to retrieve him themselves, the rest of the season went similarly. Except his Baba had been a bit fussier about his hair than his Da-Shijie had been, and his A-die was a bit more concerned over his eating habits than her.

Not to mention back then, he was such a recluse that it didn't matter the season, he wouldn't be seen. By the time Luo Binghe had been old enough to be affected back then, he was already distant enough from his disciple that the youth didn't come to him, and his house was scent-proof, as well as his amulet.

So truly, he had no experience whatsoever.

"Only my parents and my Da-Shijie," he bit his lip as he thought. There couldn't be much difference, right? Not to mention he'd never spent any time during that season near his Shixiong before, so truly it couldn't have that much effect, right? "But this one has never been near Binghe-shixiong or Qingge-shixiong during the season...we've only started to grow closer in the past year or so since the mission in Heshun."

"I see, however, I ask Yuan-er to think of it like this: to be suddenly stripped of it is the same as someone being stripped of their scarf or outer robe in a snowstorm suddenly without warning. It comes without preparation and can cause a severe reaction within their internal system, especially so close to that season for Alphas. Truly because Alphas see things as their pack, ahem, in a manner of speaking. Especially with such close friends like Yuan-er. Perhaps Yuan-er has noticed this in his parents as well? He has said that they are both rather affectionate, yes?"

"Yes...they are, and my Shixiong and Shijie in Ling Shou..."

Shijie and Shixiong as well, huh? What a surprise that my son hasn't scared them off yet.

"Then there is the truth right there, Yuan-er! Of course, it's not something Yuan-er should concern himself with, it truly is something that should have come to attention much sooner. My son and Liu Qingge will find their way to deal with it on their own."

Tianlang-Jun finished off with a quiet sniff and watched patiently as Shen Yuan's shoulders tensed before he asked. "Majesty...it's not against proper etiquette in the sense of an emergency right? If it's due to medical needs such as this, Binghe-shixiong, Qingge-shixiong, and I shouldn't be made to treat each other anything less than normal, right? We're not...doing anything improper, we're only friends! The most we do is spar together. It's not like either of them see me in such a way...a-and I don't see them in that way either!" Like clockwork.

"Of course not Yuan-er!" He made sure to sound aghast; as if surprised Shen Yuan would ask such a thing. "This one is entirely sure that there is nothing wrong with it! Why, it's nothing more than showing piety to the reverence of brothers in arms, truly who could blame others for being courteous toward their martial siblings?"

"Exactly!"

Ah, Yuan-er, truly I hope you're not this way toward anyone else! Or my son and that Liu Qingge might become convicted murderers after all of this! Son, I've helped you all I can! Take the reigns and stop being a coward! I know you like your soulmates! I can sense it!

Oh well then, truly he couldn't be to blame. This innocent son-in-law of his just needed an encouraging nudge towards his more selfish side—away from his parents—and that son of his and Liu Qingge just needed a heavy shove in the right direction! What better way to wake idiot hormonal teenagers up to their own feelings than even stronger hormones caused by rut season?