Chapter Text
The conversation doesn’t end there between El and Max. Not by a long shot.
There is still plenty to say and work out between them. They cannot just flip a switch after not speaking for weeks over some really heavy conflict. It means that Max admits to her how she felt jealous when El and Mike kissed. How Max feared when El said she felt lonely and kissed Mike back for all the wrong reasons that she was the reason why El got to that point.
“You’re not a disease, Max,” El insists. “I had my own issues that I needed to work through. That I still need to work through to be someone you and I both deserve.”
El similarly confides in Max how the realization of her feelings toward Max rocked her somewhat established view of herself. How it was different when they learned that Will is gay, mostly since El isn’t sure what she should call herself.
“That’s not something you need to know or decide now. Or ever,” Max reassures her. “Feeling can be enough.”
Feeling is everything, El decides. She feels happier than she remembers experiencing in quite some time. It makes her want to tell Will about the latest developments, and she’s relieved that Max feels the exact same way.
Unsurprisingly, Will has a meltdown in the best possible way.
“Oh, my God, you guys!”
El and Max both laugh as the boy tackles them. They’re sitting in Will’s bedroom one night later that same week.
“You’re not mad that I didn’t tell you immediately?” El checks with him.
Max looks curious, too, but Will shakes his head.
“I knew you’d tell me when it was time,” he replies. “Besides, you came home with a shit-eating smile on your face. I had my suspicions.”
El ducks her head as Max bursts out laughing. She glances at the other girl with a bashful smile.
“What exactly does this mean?” Will continues. “Are you two a couple?”
Max and El exchange meaningful looks.
They’ve started to discuss that same topic. El tells Will the same thing that she told Max about needing to work certain things out about herself and Max agreeing in her own way. How they’d agreed to take things at their own pace. As long as they got to experience these discoveries in each other’s company.
“But,” El says. She reaches, somewhat hesitant, for Max’s hand. The other girl readily accepts hers and entwines their fingers. “There isn’t anyone else.”
“Jesus Christ, Byers. Don’t start crying,” Max groans when Will’s eyes become misty.
“Shut up. I’m not,” Will grunts, wiping the corner of his left eye. He clears his throat. “I’m really happy for you. Both of you. Even though you’ve made me a third wheel. Again,” he teases El.
El flips him off, which causes Will to laugh with his entire body.
“Speaking of,” Max says. “How are things with the bane of my existence?”
Will gives her a dry look, replying, “They’re good.”
Incredulously, Max says, “That’s it?”
“Sorry,” he apologizes. “They’re really good.”
It’s Max’s turn to direct a rude gesture toward Will. El’s mind is elsewhere.
“I think it’s long overdue that he and I talk.”
Will and Max’s eyes land on her. El returns their gazes without wavering.
“Really?” Will says. El gives him a questioning look. “You’ve avoided him since Chicago. Understandably,” he hastens to add.
“I needed time,” El replies. “I think this is part of the whole ‘figuring my shit out’ process.”
“I don’t need to talk to him, do I?” Max says with an eye roll.
El’s prepared to roll her eyes right back when she catches the look Will gives Max.
“You probably should.” Max purses her lips.
“Why?” El asks. She doesn’t like the look on Max’s face. She’s usually quite fond of Max’s face.
“Mike eavesdropped on a conversation between Max and I on the day we all drove home,” Will explains. “He knows how she felt about you then.” El’s jaw drops. “I had told him in no uncertain terms that I’d hunt him down before Max could if he said anything to anyone.”
Mike clearly took that threat to heart, which doesn’t entirely surprise El. Under the right set of circumstances, Will is intimidating. He is fiercely loyal and extremely moral in his decisions. It does not fall outside the realm of possibility that he would genuinely fight Mike if the latter did anything to hurt Max or anyone else in that specific way.
“I’m not saying it’s a conversation that needs to happen tomorrow,” Will amends to Max. Her face is set in a deep frown. “Just think about it. Okay?”
El wonders whether Max realizes how important it is for Will that the people who he loves get along. She suspects so, because Max doesn’t shoot Will down and instead nods.
Are Will and Mike dating now? El wonders, not for the first time.
Maybe she’ll find out when she talks to Mike.
***
“El, darling. It’s so good to see you!”
Smiling politely, El replies, “Hi, Mrs. Wheeler. How are you?”
“I’m good, dear. I’m good,” Karen Wheeler says with a toothy smile. El has always wondered if Mrs. Wheeler is as happy as she lets others believe. “I’m about to run to the grocery store. I’m assuming you’re here to see Mike?” El nods. “He’s down in the basement. I’ll call your mom in the next few days. You should all come over for dinner some night next week.”
“That would be nice,” El says, because how else can she respond?
She gives Mrs. Wheeler a final friendly wave before making her way down the hallway toward the basement. The house has not changed in the past several years and neither have most of its inhabitants.
The basement is also stuck in a sort of time lock. It’s almost like a shrine to their childhoods. Or the original Party’s childhoods, at least. El knows it makes Will feel slightly disconcerted if he is down there for too long. It is equal parts a reminder of all that’s changed, but it also causes Will to regress at times to that intimidated little boy who would hide down there when things got bad at home with Lonnie.
Will hasn’t said all of that explicitly to El, but he’s said enough for her to draw that conclusion.
Mike’s eyes are on El as she descends the stairs. Carefully, he says, “Hi.”
El nods before replying, “Hi.”
“Did Mom keep you for long?” Mike looks uncomfortable. “I didn’t mention you were coming. I figured she’d want to catch up if she knew.”
“I think that’s inevitable,” El says, with a slight laugh. “She is going to call our mom to arrange a group dinner for next week.”
Grimacing, Mike says, “Hopper and my dad? That sounds great.”
The sofa is too familiar, so El opts for one of the chairs around the old DnD table.
“Things are bad again?”
Mike’s expression is stony.
“It never changes,” he mutters. “But you’re not here to talk to me about him.”
“That depends.” El hesitates. “Is he the reason why you hurt Will in Chicago? Is he the reason why you used me?”
If Mike looked uncomfortable before, he looks downright miserable now. There is clear panic in his eyes that makes El almost wish that she didn’t ask her question.
“I know Will wouldn’t have told you that,” Mike says. El shakes her head in confirmation. “How … why would you say that?”
“I know what it looks like to hold back or do what others expect of you because it’s easier than confronting parts of yourself that you’re not ready to acknowledge,” she says. “I also know the feeling of doing something familiar, because anything new or confusing is scary.”
“You look stressed,” El giggles.
“It’s just a lot.” El nods. “There’s so much we don’t know.”
“Early in the trip,” Mike says, “I told Will that I don’t want to be anything like my dad. I didn’t tell him why until we got back. Basically, he wasn’t happy about the hotel room arrangements and made that clear to my mom. He threatened to not let me go. He said …”
Mike stares at a spot on the wall. El waits patiently for him to continue.
“He said ‘only fags’ share beds with each other. He was worried how it’d make his family look if anyone found out about our trip since ‘everyone in Hawkins knows about that Byers boy.’”
Mike looks as angry as El feels when she hears that last part.
“I know I let him get inside my head. And I know it’s not an excuse,” Mike says. “I shouldn’t have kissed you — not because I felt like I needed to prove something about myself and definitely not to hurt Will, knowing how he felt about me. It was bad enough how I treated him when you and I were actually a couple. I really am sorry, El. I don’t expect you to forgive me.” Mike’s rambling. “I just hope one day we can get to a place where we can be around each other. I miss being your friend and —”
“Mike.” He falls silent. “Breathe.” El waits for Mike to exhale a deep breath.
“Why aren’t you angry?” Mike asks.
“I’ve done that. Remember?” Mike winces. El feels the urge to chuckle, but she refrains. She needs Mike to hear what she plans to say next. “Part of me still is. About that night when you and I argued in the hallway. Will told me that you don’t remember what you said.”
“I don’t,” Mike confirms. “He hasn’t told me either. He said it’s something that we would discuss once you and I spoke about it.”
El cannot help but take a moment to admire her brother. Will acted surprised when she said that she wanted to speak with Mike, but he also had faith in her. He knew that she would get there in her own time. It means the world to El.
“It was an ugly fight,” El begins.
Desperately, Mike says, “I should go after him.”
Mike starts forward. Before El can restrain him, herself, Dustin and Lucas pull Mike backwards.
Bracingly, Dustin says, “Not tonight, buddy.”
“Not ever,” Max mutters. El cannot help but agree with her.
El moves her head around until Mike finally meets her eye. He blinks at her when she shoves a finger in his face.
“Don’t fucking cross me, Mike,” she warns him. “Friends don’t manipulate. That’s my brother, and I will not allow you to continue hurting him.”
“Allow me?” Mike hisses, looking considerably more alert. “He was my best friend before he was your brother! You’re not even biologically related.”
El does not need to look as she sticks out an arm that Max collides with a second later.
She has this handled.
“We have something stronger than blood. We protect each other,” El says. Her voice is cold and she manages to keep it level. “He knows I respect him. When’s the last time you can say that?”
“Oh, my God,” Mike whispers. “El, I’m …” Mike trails off as he looks at his lap. When he meets El’s eye again, he continues, “Saying that I’m sorry doesn’t feel sufficient.”
It is the first sign of growth that Mike has exhibited to El in recent memory.
“Good,” she says, genuinely. “Because it isn’t. Respect is more than words. It’s actions, and I’m not talking about grand gestures.”
“I’m beginning to see that. Too late, I suppose.” Mike shakes his head. “Whenever my parents fought when I was young, my dad would come home with a lavish gift for my mom. Back when he still seemed to give a shit. Things returned to whatever normal existed after she got the gift.” Mike scoffs. “I guess that should’ve been the first warning sign.”
“Break the pattern,” El encourages him. Mike silently nods. “I think some of my hotheadedness is learned as well. Not all of it,” she notes. “But for a while, it was just me, Dad, and his temper. You remember how bad things were during the Mind Flayer situation.”
“Vividly.”
“I’m tired of wasting my energy on anger. Besides,” El continues. “You were not alone in your actions. Aside from the hallway fight, it must have occurred to you at some point that it takes two people to make out.”
Based on the look on Mike’s face, she was a bit too generous with that assumption. He looks flustered, and El realizes that he’s gotten the complete wrong impression.
El groans, “Mike, no.” Mike looks like a deer in headlights. “I don’t have feelings for you. What I meant was, I did not stop it for a reason. It didn’t register while it was happening — I was pretty surprised, not to mention tipsy — but we both used each other that night.”
“How long have you felt lonely?” Mike asks a few minutes later. El’s given him the abridged version of what she has told Will and Max.
“Since I realized there’s no shortage of things that are different about me.” El looks down at her hands as she twists her fingers. “Like the way I feel about Max.”
The silence weighs on El’s chest. Eventually, she looks up and is relieved that Mike doesn’t look disgusted or angry. She knows he’s close with Will after learning that he’s gay, but there’s still a part of her that remembers his initial shock. How badly he treated Will.
Plus, it’s a weird thing to confide in your ex. Isn’t it?
“Are you going to say anything?” she asks him.
Mike’s lip twitches. He says, “First, me. Now it’s Mayfield.” He pauses for effect. “There really is no accounting for taste with you.”
El makes an outraged noise, which causes Mike to burst out laughing.
“I’m just joking. You know how Max and I are,” Mike says.
“I do,” El confirms. “I also know my brother’s the reason you’re living on borrowed time with her.”
“That means you …?”
“Max and I both know how the other feels.” Mike looks more than slightly relieved.
“Good,” he says. “I know we all haven’t hung out properly in a while, but I was still nervous. In retrospect, it was pretty clear that you guys were obsessed with each other.”
“We were friends first,” El says with a skeptical expression.
“And now?”
“Now,” El repeats. “We’re learning about ourselves. Together.”
Mike’s expression softens. He nods and averts his own eyes.
“Me and Will, too.” El sits up straighter. “As boyfriends.”
Excitedly, El says, “Really?” Mike nods with a bashful air to him. “For how long?”
“The start of the month,” Mike says. “Don’t be mad at Will for not saying anything. I’ve been so focused on my dad and all his bullshit, and I knew that we still needed to have some sort of talk and figured I should be the one to tell you.”
“Mike.”
Mike closes his mouth. When he opens it again, he nervously replies, “Yeah?”
“Are the two of you happy?”
El’s heart warms at the deliriously joyful expression that overtakes Mike’s face. His cheeks are flushed pink as he runs a hand through his hair. He nods.
“Really, really happy.”
Seriously, El says, “Good.” She gives her ex-boyfriend a nod when he looks tentatively at her.
“Are you happier?” he asks El.
El’s answer is more instinctive than she expected.
“Max makes me happy,” she answers. “It makes me believe everything else will follow.”
“You really believe that.” It’s not a question, but Mike says it so quietly and El can hear the doubt laced in his voice.
Simply, El replies, “I have to. That hope is everything.”
It’s as simple as it is complicated — and El finds herself more willing to accept it.
After all, she has Max by her side.