Chapter Text
Jay Park looks so much smaller from the outside. Felix, who wears a dress today, is twisted around uncomfortably, looking off the back of the wagon, watching the town grow more distant with each passing moment.
From the driver’s seat, Binnie eyes him. “You okay? If you don’t wanna do this, we can still turn around.”
“No,” Felix insists. He twists back around to face forward, tugging his corset back into place. “No, I’m good.”
Binnie just nods. “Okay.” But he does let go of the reins for a moment to reach over and squeeze Felix’s hand. “We’ll be alright, Felly, don’t worry. It’s just two days, and we’ll be right back here where we belong.”
“I know.” Felix gives him a smile, but he feels the nervous thrum of his own pulse and the sweat on his palms and knows that he’s probably not being very convincing.
Today is a special occasion of sorts, because it’s the first time Lee Know has given both he and Binnie the weekend off, and they’re going to town. Technically, they’ll also be picking up orders for The Saloon and The General Store while they’re there, so they’re still doing something work-related, but that’s not why they asked to go.
They’re going to do some digging on Han.
They’ve been planning this for a month or so, ever since Han told Felix about remembering his brother and being confused about his past. Felix knows how hard it is for him to deal with those things, and how hard it is for him to talk about them, and so he’s going to do what he can to make it easier. If he and Binnie can get a clear idea of where Han came from, or better yet, where his brother might be, they can help him figure himself out. That’s what good friends would do.
But today is a special occasion for another reason too. It’s the first time Felix has left town since he was kidnapped.
Other than a short trip to the boxcar once or twice, it’s been about four months since Felix has set foot outside of Jay Park. And that’s not a coincidence. He’s politely declined any offer to go anywhere else over the last few months, preferring to stay put in the place he loves, the place he never wants to leave again.
“Do you wanna talk about what we’ll do when we get there?” Binnie asks, drawing Felix out of his nervous contemplation. The wagon bumps along the weathered path. Felix crosses his arms, bracing against the motion.
“Sure,” he says, hoping it might settle his mind. “We’ll get there around noon, so what then?”
“We’ll pay someone to stow the wagon, and then we’ll book a room somewhere,” Binnie says, “and after that, we’ve got a full day to look around. There’s all sorts of places we could go to ask questions, but first we’ll go back to where Han saw that guy he knew.”
Felix nods. “We don’t have much of a starting point otherwise.”
“Right,” Binnie agrees, “but that bar, if it’s the one Lee Know frequents, is . . . well, it’s not the nicest environment.” He glances at Felix, his face neutral but his eyes questioning. “Is that gonna be okay with you?”
“It’ll be fine,” Felix assures. “I’m not afraid, Binnie. This is important, we’re doing it for Han. It doesn’t matter where we have to go or what we have to do. And I can handle a bad situation if I have to,” he adds, sitting up a little straighter. He’s not sure which one of them needs that reminder more.
Binnie concedes. “Okay. If you say it’s fine, it’s fine.”
When they planned out this little trip, Binnie was hesitant. He doesn’t think getting involved in Han’s business behind his back is the best way to help him. But Felix was determined. He insisted they had to try, and as soon as he expressed that he was nervous to leave Jay Park, Binnie caved.
He’d put a gentle hand on Felix’s shoulder, looking at him intently. If you’re sure you have to do this, then you’re not gonna do it alone.
Felix smiles now, looking over at him. Binnie is relaxed, eyes focused on the path ahead, reins held surely between his fingers. He’s solid, dependable, strong. And he cares so much about Felix. He cares about Han, too.
“Thank you for doing this,” Felix says quietly, scooting closer to loop his hand through the crook of Binnie’s arm. “It means a lot to me.”
Binnie keeps his eyes on the road, his tone softening. “Of course, Felix. I’m always here for you.”
“It’ll mean a lot to Han, too,” Felix adds, laying his head on Binnie’s shoulder. “Can you still steer if I sit like this?”
“Oh yeah.” Binnie lets go of one rein to flex his arm, careful not to jostle Felix. “Just watch one of these mules try something, I’ll put ‘em right back in place. Stay put as long as you’d like, darlin’.”
The little knot of anxiety around Felix’s heart loosens. He smiles. It doesn’t matter where he goes, he’s got nothing to fear if Binnie goes with him.
~~~
Seungmin turns on his chair till the base squeaks, loud and sharp, filling the empty office with the single sound of the morning. He does it again and again, just to hear a sound to break up the boring, tiresome, lothesome, terrible silence that has occupied the office.
In between the harsh squeaks, he wonders if this is what it’s like whenever he leaves Chris alone at work. Seungmin imagines he is actually able to get his work done, but does he stew in the silence? Does he squeak his chair like Seungmin? Is his work so consuming that the overwhelming boredom fails to crush him to death?
Now that Lee Know has stolen Chris away from him to work the bar (a task “too mature” for Seungmin apparently), is Seungmin doomed to the same fate as Chris? Work or die?
He squeaks the chair again, harsher and louder than the ones before, to clear the air of such a terrible thought.
Surely, he can work and have fun. Surely, he can manage both without going crazy. Surely, Seungmin can prove that Chris’s full-steam-ahead method will get him nowhere but an early grave.
Seungmin moves to turn again on his chair, but this time he takes it a step too far. He tumbles to the floor without a squeak to show for it. His butt sore, and his pride happy no one was around to see.
Beside him the wheels of his chair keep spinning, and Seungmin can’t help but glare at how they mock him.
It’s going to be a long day.
~~~
Although he’s spent the last few years in a position of relative authority in town, Chris is excited to give that up and answer to Lee Know for a day.
He ties on an apron, borrowed from Changbin of course, and drums his fingers on the bartop while he waits for Lee Know to tell him what to do. The man in question comes out from the kitchen, putting a crate of clean glasses on the counter.
“First, put these up,” he instructs, pointing to the spot under the bar where they’re stored. “Don’t break any, or it’ll come out of your paycheck.”
“You’re paying me?” Chris grins. “Lee Know, look at you! So generous, letting Felix and Binnie have their little weekend trip, and now actually paying me to help you out . . .” His grin widens as Lee Know’s face sours.
“I certainly don’t have to,” he says. “And I didn’t just let them go for no reason, alright?”
“Oh?” Chris starts to unpack the clean glasses, careful not to smudge them. “Well, I guess it’s more like you to have an ulterior motive.”
Lee Know hums, eyeing the clock above the door. “We’ll get to that later. We’re about to open.”
Chris mimes a salute. “Just tell me what to do, boss.”
“Don’t call me ‘boss,’” Lee Know corrects him, “just ‘sir’ is fine. And if you’re gonna take that long to stack glasses you might as well go back to the Sheriff’s Station and send your little deputy over here instead.”
“No!” Chris protests, still grinning. “No, I can do it. I’m way better than Seungmin, I swear. I’ll hurry up.”
Lee Know raises an eyebrow. “You’ll hurry up what?”
“I’ll hurry up, sir.”
Lee Know pats him on the shoulder, smiling. “Good. I’m sure Seungmin’s having a great time at the office by himself anyway.”
Chris nods. “Think Jeongin’s too busy to go over there and hang out with him?”
“I couldn’t care less about their business,” Lee Know says dismissively. “But actually I’m not sure if Jeongin would sacrifice his one day off this week to go sit around over there. I mean, would you?”
That question makes no sense. Chris is there all the time already. Not answering, he just makes a face and returns to arranging the glasses while Lee Know goes to unlock the front door.
~~~
Seungmin stares down at the form he has set out on the desk before him, reading over all the boxes he is meant to fill out for what feels like the billionth time that morning. He can’t tell if this is any different from the paper he had scribbled on before, scrutinizing every line in a true show of his detective prowess.
He has to rock back in his chair after a minute, still not all that sure what this paper is even for. Some bureaucratic nonsense maybe? Chris would know. Seungmin doesn’t care.
He’s been scribbling in the margins, notes if anyone asks (doodles, if they look hard enough), while he reads. There’s hearts with initials in them drawn in a fit of weakness, belying the sort of desperate, intense loneliness he has had to face while locked in this office room, this prison.
Seungmin stares once again at the page before he gives up. He folds in the corners, laying the paper flat and then folding it again. He’s constructing something of a glider, a paper dart.
Once he’s finished, Seungmin lines up the dart, bringing it to eye level to perfect his aim. He gives it one, two, test throws, lurching his wrist forward without letting go, before he feels ready to let it fly.
He reels it back again. This time finally releasing it. He watches as it sails across the room, moving through the stale air of the office with all the grace of a soaring bird, diving in for the kill.
It misses.
Its nose crumbles as it makes impact with the floor. Somehow, it managed to find the one open space amidst the other crumbled balls of documents, equally as unsuccessful in their flight to the trash can.
“Damn it!” he says out loud to nobody at all. “I thought I had it that time.”
No one responds. The silence of the room mocks him, making him all the more stir crazy.
Seungmin sighs. “Time to start again. I’ll make it next time.”
~~~
It’s been way too long since Changbin has been to town. He and Felix walk arm-in-arm down the street. The sun is shining, foot traffic moves lazily up and down the sidewalks dotted with shops and bars, and Changbin didn’t realize how much he’d missed this atmosphere.
“You know, I used to hate crowds,” he says. “But I think I’ve spent too much time in Jay Park. Maybe I’ve changed my mind. It’s nice to see more than ten people in one place.”
Felix doesn’t respond for a second, his eyes roaming the scenes around them with interest.
“It’s nice,” he says, in the same high voice he used to always talk in. “It reminds me of home, kind of.” His hand is tucked into the crook of Changbin’s elbow, tensing slightly into the fabric of his sleeve. He’s not completely at ease.
That brings Changbin back to reality. Truth is, he’s got some conflicted feelings about being here.
On one hand, he worries that finding contacts from Han’s past is going to backfire somehow. On the other, he would never let Felix take this trip on his own, knowing he felt unsafe. And on a secret third hand . . . it’s time Changbin continued the search for his mother’s murderer. He can’t do that if he’s stuck in Jay Park, so he might as well take advantage of a weekend in town.
“What do you think we should do first?” asks Felix.
Changbin pats the tense little hand on his arm. “I think our best bet is Lee Know’s favorite bar, but it’s a little ways downtown. I don’t know if that environment is, ahem, appropriate for a lady such as yourself.”
Felix lifts his chin. “I might be a lady, but I never said anything about appropriate.”
“Of course, of course,” Changbin concedes. “A true lady can handle herself. And you’ve got me to protect you anyway, so you’ll be fine either way.”
Smiling, Felix leans a little more into his side. They fall into step so easily, and Felix looks so pretty in his springtime dress, blond curls like a halo in the sunlight. If they weren’t here on four different kinds of business, they’d look just like any of the other cheerful couples spending a carefree Saturday together.
“Y’know,” Changbin returns the smile, “maybe we should do this more often, just for fun.”
Glancing over, Felix blinks those big eyes at him. “What, come to town?”
“Yeah.” They’re nose-to-nose. Changbin’s smile grows, seeing the freckles on Felix’s face so close up. He wishes they had nothing else to worry about, so they could just enjoy being here. Changbin’s not one to get flustered, but the thought gives him a giddy feeling. “Wouldn't that be nice?”
“Oh,” Felix glances away, sheepish, “but they’d miss us at The Saloon.”
“No they won’t,” Changbin says dismissively. “We’ll bring Jinnie with us next time. He’d be our only customer anyway, so they won’t have to worry about us being gone.”
“Aw, we should bring Jinnie,” Felix agrees. “I bet he’s so bored back in Jay Park without us.”
It’s true, Jinnie would probably love a change of scenery. Changbin can imagine him wanting to go into every shop or restaurant, wanting to explore and enjoy everything the city has to offer. His heart swells at the idea.
“He’d like it here, I bet,” he agrees. “But I’m sure he’s doing just fine back home.”
~~~
“I hate it here!” Hyunjin exclaims, as he kicks another rock hard enough to send in careening down the road. “Gah!”
Okay, so, he’s being a little dramatic, but all morning he’s been staring down the bar at Flat Jinnie’s grinning face, mocking him in its frozen, blank look of contentment. There was no one there to distract him from the imagined weight of that paper stare. Lee Know and Chris, hard at work in the kitchen, at the bar, and, occasionally, The General Store, Seungmin in his self-appointed exile in the Sheriff’s Station, and Jeongin actually sleeping in for once before running off to the school house with supposed errands.
He kicks another rock, watching as it rolls, no longer impassioned. There is a profound sense of something he can’t seem to place that falls over him. It isn’t quite sadness. It’s not melancholy or loneliness. The feeling aches within him as if he is missing something, something vital.
He wonders, offhandedly, what Binnie and Felix are up to, if they’re having fun going out on the town. He tries to imagine the dress Felix has undoubtedly worn and what Binnie looks like dressed for something other than the comforts of home or the labors of work. Jinnie mourns the fact that he missed seeing them off this morning if nothing else but to quell his wandering mind.
There’s a sense of fear lying behind the ache that fills him. Will Felix be okay out there on his own? When was the last time he left Jay Park? His kidnapping?
Jinnie knows that his father, the company, the goons that were hired after him, are no longer concerned with Jinnie’s whereabouts. He knows that no men will be sent out to capture Felix on his behalf.
Still, he worries about what was revealed last time he was out. Felix Lee, wanted criminal.
He kicks another rock, hoping to dislodge his train of thought before it spirals, returning, instead, to the visage of Flat Jinnie before he left and why he’s out here kicking rocks in the first place. Real Jinnie glowers at the reminder.
One thing is for sure, he needs that paper boy obliterated.
~~~
Seungmin crouches in front of the window, his eyes peeking just over the sill as he watches the outside world. This brief taste of freedom, exhilarating.
There’s Jinnie walking through the street, having just left The Saloon. He’s kicking rocks. One after the other. Never the same rock. Always scowling. It has to be some sort of game. It must be hard. Seungmin wants to play whatever it is.
He thinks about going over there, leaving the Sheriff’s Station and abandoning his job. He thinks about giving up, letting Chris win.
Seungmin looks away from the window back at the desk with the papers scattered all around and the trash can filled to the brim with doodles. He sighs. He can do this. He doesn’t need to play Jinnie’s stupid game. He doesn’t need to leave the station. He’s fine. He loves his job.
Seungmin gets up, dusting off his pant legs, twisting and turning in a stretch. Time to get back to work. He’s got this. No more paper darts. No more doodles. No more looking out the window. No more spinning in the chair. Just dedicated, hard work.
~~~
Felix doesn’t know how long it’s been since he’s been to an actual bar, but he has to admit, he kind of missed it. The Saloon is his home, but it’s not exactly the most exciting atmosphere.
And on top of that, they’re making progress. While Binnie talks to some of the other diners, Felix has been chatting with the barmaid, who reminds him of himself. He explains that he’s looking for someone, the man from Han’s past who talked to him the last time he was here.
The barmaid is thinking, eyebrows furrowed. “Yeah, I think I remember your friend.”
“He only came here the one time, with Lee Know,” Felix explains, making sure to keep his voice high-pitched and dainty to match his appearance. “Maybe you don’t know who I’m talking about, I’m sure you see too many people to count working here.”
But the barmaid leans on the counter, cocking her head. “The kid with the eyepatch, right?”
Felix brightens. “Yes, that’s him! That’s Han.”
The barmaid smiles, nodding, though her eyes remain guarded. “Yeah, I remember him. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? He left in a real hurry that day, and I haven’t seen him since. How’s he been?”
“He’s alright,” Felix tells her. This woman has no idea the trouble Han’s been through, but she’s kind to ask. “I actually wanted to ask you about that day, if you remember seeing anyone else with him.”
A certain tension pulls at her expression. “I never saw anybody talking to him, at least not that I remember . . .”
“. . . But?” Felix prompts, his pulse picking up.
The barmaid leans a little closer. “There was someone who came by a couple days after that, asking if your friend had been back.”
Felix’s heart jumps. This is exactly what he was hoping for. He resists the urge to twist around and shout for Binnie, instead nodding for the woman to continue.
“He was . . . well, he was on the rougher side, I’d say. Young, kinda scruffy, but not much really stuck out about him.”
Could it have been Han’s brother? Felix wonders, but there’s no way to know.
The barmaid continues. “He seemed nervous, and he insisted that I must’ve seen your friend here again. He got a little frustrated when I told him I hadn’t.”
“Did he give you his name or anything?” Felix asks, hoping for something useful.
“Not exactly. Every time I asked for details, he’d just sort of change the subject or talk around me. That’s what really made him seem suspicious.”
Felix knows the type. People like that were everywhere in his old life, people who had something to hide and constantly tried to distract from it. His heart sinks, knowing that without a name, he and Binnie haven’t made any progress in their search at all.
The barmaid’s face has grown serious. “I didn’t tell them a thing about your friend, not even his name. I just had a feeling that it wasn’t right. To be honest, I might not have told you anything either, except that you mentioned Lee Know.”
It’s kind of ironic that she considers Lee Know a sign of trust, but Felix gets it. “Do you remember anything else?”
“Well, he wouldn’t say his name, but he did leave a message. He said if Han came back, I could tell him his brother was in the area.”
Eyes widening, Felix almost gasps. “So it was his brother!”
The barmaid shakes her head. “He made it sound like the brother was someone else, and he said they’d just come north. I think the point was that Han’s brother was sticking around, looking for him. But I haven’t seen that man since, or anybody else asking about Han.”
“Is there anything else you remember?” Felix asks. “Anything else at all?”
“Not that I can think of,” she sighs. “The thing about them coming north might’ve been important, but I didn’t really know what he was talking about.”
Felix doesn't know what that means either, but he’s just glad he’s gotten something. A description and the fact that they’re still in the area is enough to make him feel like this was worth it. If he and Binnie keep searching, they’re bound to find out more, right?
After he asks for a few clarifying details on the guy’s appearance—clothes, guns, anything else distinguishing—Felix thanks the barmaid and lets her get back to work.
Now, he and Binnie have a starting point. Han’s brother and the other guy are staying close by, and they’re doing their own searching. There’s a possibility that their hunt could overlap with Felix and Binnie’s.
He turns on his stool, untangling his petticoat from around his legs so he can get up and go find Binnie. He glances around the bar, searching for him, and suddenly realizes this place is a lot more crowded than it was when he sat down. He cranes his neck to search, but people are moving around too much. Felix frowns. Binnie must be somewhere around here.
As his eyes skim over the patrons, Felix feels uneasy with the amount of stares he sees directed back at him. He shifts, his corset suddenly feeling too tight. One man catches his eye, and Felix turns away, instinctively hiding his face.
He doesn’t recognize me, does he? he wonders, not risking a glance back. He couldn’t, right? I’m disguised, and it’s been so long since . . .
Since the bounty was put out. Since his crime. The man he killed.
Felix takes a deep breath, keeping his expression blank. There’s no way someone would recognize him, and even if they did he could probably fight his way out of here, but now it’s so crowded and loud and this place reminds him so much of that party, that fateful night where Felix’s old life ended with one shot from his own gun.
His fingers curl into the edge of the bar. He wills those memories out of his mind. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to come here, maybe it was too much of a risk. If anything happened now, now that he finally feels safe in Jay Park again—
“Hey there,” says a voice beside him. Felix stifles a gasp and turns to find a man leaning on the counter. “I haven’t seen you around here before.”
Oh, fuck. Do I look suspicious?
Trying to keep cool, remembering not to use his real voice, Felix offers a smile, “I’m just passing through today.”
“Oh yeah?” The man smiles. “Well, you don’t look like you belong in a place like this.”
Fuck! He must recognize me! Felix laughs nervously. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“A pretty girl like you? Come on, now.” He smiles bigger, probably thinking it’s laughable that Felix would even try to hide his real identity. “I’m about to get out of here, any chance you’d wanna come with me?”
So he wants me to come quietly. What happens if I don’t? Felix finally turns to glance behind him, hoping somehow he can find Binnie and get his attention.
As soon as he does, he hears that familiar brash voice. “Hey!”
Felix has never been so relieved in his life as Binnie appears, forcibly stepping between him and the man. He’s at least three inches shorter than the other guy, but he lifts his chin in a challenge.
“What’s going on here?” he asks. He cuts a look back at Felix. “Is this guy bothering you?”
“Whoa,” the man raises his hands, backing up. “Listen, I didn’t realize she was here with anybody, alright? I wouldn’t have said anything if I’d known, I swear.”
“Oh yeah?” Binnie dares him. “Well you can make up for it by getting lost.”
“There’s no need to be rude,” the guy huffs, pushing Binnie with his shoulder as he walks past.
“Hang on.” Binnie reaches to stop him. He nods to Felix. “Apologize to the lady.”
Eyeing him, the man grumbles an apology to Felix, tipping his hat unenthusiastically as he turns to leave. Under his breath, Felix hears him ask, “Why’d you bring your girl to this place anyway?”
Once he’s out of sight, Binnie nudges Felix, asking, “You alright there?”
Felix lets out the breath he’d been holding. “Thank you,” he says, climbing off his stool. “He must’ve recognized me from my bounty. We should get out of here, in case he comes back to cause trouble.”
Binnie’s face goes from confused to amused, and he laughs, squeezing Felix’s shoulder. “You thought he recognized you? Come on, Felly, don’t be silly.”
“What?” Felix asks. “Why are you taking this so lightly?”
“Aw, darlin’,” Binnie sighs fondly, “you have no idea how cute you are.”
Felix just brushes that comment off, figuring it’s not important. The antsy feeling remains, and he doesn’t want to be seen here any longer. He reaches for Binnie’s hand. “We should go, we’ve got all the information we can get from this place.”
“We do?” Binnie raises an eyebrow. “What’d you find out?”
“I’ll tell you on the way,” Felix promises. “Let’s just move on.”
“If you say so,” Binnie agrees, helping Felix off his stool. “It’s getting late anyway.”
Felix keeps his head down as they leave the bar, pushing around patrons and tables. He reminds himself that this was worth it, no matter what, as long as they’ve gained a little more ground on their search.
~~~
Seungmin’s dedicated hard work lasted all of 15 minutes before he was once again distracted by something else far more interesting than paperwork, paperwork, and more paperwork.
In fact this new task had started under the pretext of paperwork. He had needed a paper or maybe a pen. Seungmin couldn’t remember which. All he knows is that he found something he thought was missing for weeks, his slingshot, the one he used to launch bits of paper at Chris. It was just lying there in the drawer right beside Chris’s extra ink.
If Chris had wanted it for himself all he had to do was ask.
After the slingshot, he kept digging, wondering just what else Chris had stolen from right under his nose. Apparently, many things.
His old wooden puzzle his mother had bought him before his going off to school. Something he often played with when bored at work, or at least something he used to play with when bored at work.
His missing pair of scissors which is just rude. He needs those.
A cigar he’d pawned off Lee Know for a joke, thinking it beyond funny to sit around in Chris’s chair chewing on a cigar for when he arrived in the morning.
He also finds bits of cloth crumpled in a corner Seungmin can only imagine are pieces of Chris’s old shirts. He picks them up to save. Lee Know quilts. He could probably salvage these for a Chris Quilt.
Another thing he finds, tucked secreted behind files and papers, are unmistakable pictures of some of their near and dear friends, tacked onto rather incriminating bounties. He considers, briefly, pulling them out to fold into more paper darts, but he ultimately decides against it. He was tired of paper darts, and now looking at all of the treasures he’s unearthed, Seungmin has a much better plan on how to spend the afternoon.
~~~
The Saloon’s lunch rush is no small thing. Now that Chris is on the other end of it, he can see clearly how Jay Park has grown in the last year or two. Even though he processed the census and knows how many families and individuals have moved here and settled, there’s nothing like all those people waiting on drinks on a Saturday afternoon to illustrate the change.
It takes all afternoon for the crowd to thin, and Chris is impressed with how efficiently Lee Know handles it, even without his usual staff.
Eventually, business lulls later in the day, and their only patron left at the bar is Han, who’s getting ready to leave.
“I gotta say, Chris,” he says, “you kept up better than I thought you would. I should’ve known you’d be better at multitasking than Binnie.”
“Of course I am,” Chris says proudly. “I can’t believe you’d doubt me, Hannie, after all I’ve done for you.”
“Oh, he doubted you,” Lee Know pipes up, stowing an empty tray behind the bar. “He put money on it, which he now owes me.”
Han stretches as he gets up. “Just put it on my tab,” he sighs.
“Which you’ve never paid off anyway,” Lee Know observes.
“Well,” Han waves him off, “maybe someday I’ll be rich and then I’ll follow up. For now, though, I’m gonna go home and take a nap. When are you coming home?” he asks Chris.
“Whenever the boss lets me.”
“Alright then, I’ll see you never. Bye, Lee Know.”
“Bye, Han.”
“Bye Han,” Chris echoes as he strolls out. Leaning on the bar, he says, “It did seem busy today, but we never fell behind. You must’ve done this a time or two.”
Lee Know shrugs dismissively, “It’s not that hard.”
Chris rolls his eyes. He can’t tell if it’s modesty or bashfulness. “Well, I know Felix and Binnie really earn their paychecks. I’m sure it was tough to part with them today.”
Scanning the room of occupied diners, Lee Know says, “Like I said earlier, I had ulterior motives. Actually, this might be a good time.”
Chris perks up. He’s got his suspicions about this ulterior motive. “What’s up?”
“I want to talk about Han.”
“I knew it.” Chris grins. “You might think you’re being subtle but the way you were looking at him just now—”
“Don’t start,” Lee Know says drily. “I mean about his past.”
“Oh. Right.” Chris isn’t exactly disappointed, but he does fully intend to pester Lee Know about his feelings at some point today.
With one more glance around the room, Lee Know seems to decide that he doesn’t want them to be overheard. He nods to the kitchen door, so Chris follows him back. Once they’re out of earshot, Lee Know asks, “I don’t guess you’ve tried to find anything out yet?”
“Not really,” Chris admits. “I’ve looked through reports of criminals and wanted men who don’t have names, but Han’s definitely not part of those groups. Other than that I don’t have much to go off of, and I don’t want to bother him by asking questions. Why, what have you found?”
“He told me some stuff, and I’ve been thinking about what it might mean.”
“Yeah?” Chris can’t deny how interested he is. Han’s been remembering stuff? Or did he always know some things, and just never wanted to share them before?
Lee Know continues. “He came from this place, it was like a poorhouse or a refuge or something. A work farm, he said, full of other kids. He doesn't remember where or how old he was, just that he was there when he was young.”
Taking this in, Chris nods. It’s not something he expected, but it’s not surprising. He’d be more surprised to know Han had a family or something.
“There are probably census records about that place, whatever it was. If we could find them, we could figure out what happened and how Han ended up here.” Lee Know delivers all this with a neutral expression, but there’s a weight to his tone. “I wouldn’t tell you any of this for no good reason, Chris, so you’d better use it to find something out with it.”
“Of course,” Chris says, because he doesn’t take it lightly either. He’s been here so long, and he knows everyone in this town, including Lee Know, better than they might realize. “I know how to do my job, you know.”
Lee Know doesn’t acknowledge that comment. His dark eyes are trained on the floor. “I’ll give you his name, too. Just . . .” He trails off, sighing.
Chris raises an eyebrow, reaching out to bump him on the arm. “You aren’t wrong for this, Lee Know. He trusted you with this, and it’s going to help him.”
Not acknowledging that comment either, Lee Know says quietly, “It’s Jisung. Han Jisung.”
Jisung. Chris smiles, even as his eyebrows furrow. That name fits him , he thinks, but at the same time, there’s a certain loss in learning it.
Lee Know reads it on his face. He gives Chris a flat look. “Don’t look so bitter. Didn’t you just say this was the right thing to do?”
“It is,” Chris affirms, reminding himself in the same breath. And quickly, because suddenly he’s uncomfortable, he changes the subject with a smile. “And does Han happen to know your name too, Mr. Cryptic and Mysterious?”
Lee Know’s face shifts to something akin to disgust. “What’s it to you?”
Chris shrugs. “I’m just saying, that’s a very personal thing to share with someone. You’d have to really care about them to do that, right? You’d have to be really close.”
Sighing again, Lee Know pinches the bridge of his nose. “Chris, I know where you’re going with this, and we are not having this conversation.”
“I don’t hear denial,” Chris points out, smile widening.
“You don’t hear anything,” Lee Know says, brushing past him to leave the kitchen. “Come on, let’s get back to work.”
That’s all the confirmation he needs. “Lee Know!” Chris tugs his sleeve as he passes, now fully submerged in his own joy. “You’re such a sap, I can’t believe you! Falling for—”
“That’s enough,” Lee Know says, and though he doesn’t raise his voice, his tone is sharp. With a glance back, he says, “Nothing good would come of it, Chris, so drop it.”
The smile on Chris’s face falters. That’s odd. Lee Know hesitates at nothing and adapts to everything, and yet this is what he balks at? Why? Chris doesn’t even get to ask, because the kitchen door is already swinging shut, leaving him wondering exactly when this became such a sensitive subject.
At first he thinks, Who knew? and then thinks, Well, I did.
But besides that, now that he’s got the information he needs to get started, he’ll soon know a whole lot more.
~~~
Jeongin saunters up the steps to the Sheriff station’s door, wondering just what the deputy he has come here to collect has done all day. He’s shocked Seungmin hasn’t found his way to The Saloon at least at one point. Surely, as the sun began to set, Seungmin would have made his way over for dinner. But he hadn't. No one has seen him all day. So Jeongin has taken it upon himself to go and collect him.
He thinks maybe Seungmin has fallen asleep, bored out of his mind at work, and that's why he hasn’t left the office. So he is surprised when he hears talking, impassioned talking at that, from where he stands at the stoop.
“Seungmin? You good in there?” he calls, cracking open the door and peeking his head in to see what the fuss is all about.
He doesn’t know what to make of the sight he is met with. Seungmin has thrown himself against the jail cell bars from the inside, glaring at a strange mound of clothing piled on top of a chair stationed just outside the cage.
“You’ve got the wrong guy, you filthy pig! It wasn’t me,” Seungmin cries. “You have nothing to keep me here! I know my rights!”
He pauses as if to let the offending mound speak.
“My slingshot? That's all you have got to place me at the scene of the crime.” Looking at the pile, Jeongin notices the weapon in question. “Me and every thrill-seeking young boy in this godforsaken town. Will you be arresting little schoolboys next?”
The pile of clothes remains stoic and unmoved. Much like Jeongin who stands captivated in the open doorway.
“You're the real monster here,” Seungmin spits out with a rough shake of his head. “You—Jeongin?”
“Hey.” Jeongin waves, suddenly shy and feeling weirdly caught like he should be the one behind bars.
“What are you doing here?” Seungmin asks, still gripping on the bars of his enclosure.
Jeongin looks at where his hands are white knuckling the metal, at the sad clump of cloth that has seemingly deflated, and at Seungmin’s wide-eyed face.
“I could ask you the same question,” Jeongin says. He gestures to the whole office. “What are you doing here?”
“Uh.” Seungmin straightens up, smiling wide to make up for the wild look he casts around the mess he’s made. “Working.”
“Clearly,” Jeongin laughs.
Seungmin seems to relax a little at that, leaning back against the bars as if settling into this moment with Jeongin. He takes that as his cue to stumble further into the office space and take in the disarray it has fallen into. There’s an overturned trash can with crumpled pieces of folded papers covered in doodles Jeongin can barely make out. He sees the real paperwork scattered around Seungmin’s desk, held captive under random objects Jeognin has never seen before.
“So, have you come here to release me?” Seungmin’s voice cuts through Jeongin’s look about the room. He sees, as much as he heard, the smirk that pulls at Seungmin’s face.
“Hm,” Jeongin pretends to think. ”Does that make me good cop then?” He gestures to the pile of clothes next to him now, still stepping closer to Seungmin and the cell.
“That depends. Are you going to let me out on good behavior?” Seungmin asks, eyeing him now from up close. Jeongin can’t help but let his gaze be drawn down by the question.
“We’ll see,” Jeongin says before gripping the bars and rushing forward, catching Seungmin’s lips in a disjointed kiss.
Seungmin shifts to steady himself against the cell, and Jeongin reaches through to grab at his waist. Seungmin hums at the contact, making Jeongin feel lightheaded as he deepens the kiss ever so slightly.
It’s Seungmin who breaks apart first, smiling wide and breathing heavy. Jeongin, equally breathless, can’t look away.
“As nice as this is,” Seungmin looks back down at Jeongin’s lips before sighing and continuing on, “I would like to be set free if we plan on doing this any longer.”
Jeongin feels his cheeks flame. “Right, yeah, let me just. . .” he starts muttering as goes to open the cell door, his mind still muddled from the kiss.
The door doesn’t budge.
“Um, Seungmin?” He tries the door again, no luck. “Did you actually lock yourself in here?”
Seungmin looks unfazed, if anything he seems confused why Jeongin’s even asking. He’s frowning, and his eyes are tilted upwards, brows furrowed in.
“Well, yeah, duh,” he says. “For the realism.”
“Right,” Jeongin nods. “The realism. So, where’s the key?”
Seungmin sighs, “I liked it better when we were kissing.” He moves to lay on the cot in the cell, arm thrown dramatically over his eyes. “I threw the key somewhere. I don’t know where it is.”
Jeongin pauses, dumbfounded. “You threw the key somewhere . Seungmin, what would you have done if I hadn’t come and got you?”
Seungmin shrugs, “I figured you would.”
Jeongin sputters for a moment, annoyed at being so predictable and at Seungmin’s easy reliance on that predictability. He starts looking around for it, getting on his hands and knees, checking the desks, the floor, and everywhere in between.
“Nice doodles,” he says when he catches sight of a heart with their initials in it, heart warmed by how many times he sees it reproduced on the other papers.
“Those are important notes, actually,” Seungmin declares, and when Jeongin cuts a glance back to where he still lays on the cot, he notices that Seungmin is looking resolutely away from the open bars. It may just be the lighting, but Jeongin swears Seungmin’s cheeks are bright red. Cute .
“Uh huh,” he says, turning back to finding that damn key.
He finds it eventually, but not after hitting his head a few times on every piece of furniture. Seungmin laughed at him all the while like it wasn't his fault he was in that position in the first place.
“Let's just go home and get some dinner,” Jeongin says, tired and hungry.
Seungmin’s stomach growls in response. “I thought you would never ask,” remarks the man the stomach belongs to.
“And don’t ever do this again,” Jeongin turns in the doorway so that he can look Seungmin in the eye as he says this. “I’m serious. What if I wasn’t there?”
“You’ll always be there.” He sounds so sure it makes Jeongin’s stomach flip. His eyes track back down, but he forces himself to get a grip. There will be time for that later, after dinner.
~~~
Changbin gestures to the bartender, tapping the counter in front of him for another drink. His current drink is still largely untouched, but the next one isn’t for him anyway.
Dim gaslights illuminate poker tables and blackjack games, smoke clouds the air as men speak in gruff voices, and empty bottles are constantly cleared away and replaced. This is exactly the kind of place where he’d find people or information that could help him, but it hasn’t been easy.
The bartenders sounded more apathetic than sincere when they said they didn’t know who Changbin was looking for. The poker players would only talk after he made a bet, and they knew nothing anyway. The shady guys who kept to themselves and nursed their drinks seemed the most promising, but they hadn’t seen or heard of the person Changbin asked after.
And this is the third bar he’s been to tonight.
The bartender returns, depositing a fresh glass on the counter. Changbin immediately slides it over to the old man next to him, a stubbly, gray-haired stranger he’s known all of five minutes.
“Alright,” he says. “Talk.”
The stranger accepts the drink with a nod, taking a long sip before he begins to speak. “You said this happened in New Mexico, right?”
“Right. Four years ago.”
“I came from New Mexico around that time,” he says. “I remember a group of bandits that had made a headline or two, but nobody knew anything about ‘em.”
“I know that part,” Changbin says, “that’s when I was still living there, looking for them.”
“Hold your horses, let me finish.” The old man takes another sip of his drink, without concern for Changbin’s impatience. “I started heading east in ‘95. I went through Oklahoma, Arkansas, and back through Texas. I wound my way all around this state, all the way down to the gulf.”
“And?” Changbin’s not trying to be rude, but if there’s something relevant to this story he’d like to get to it.
“And when I came up from the south a few months back, I heard about another group of bandits, an awful lot like the one from New Mexico. I even saw them, down around El Paso.”
Changbin’s eyes widen. “How do you know it’s the same group?”
The old man gives him a gap-toothed smile. “Well, I don’t. But I’ve seen a lot of the West and I’ve seen a lot of trouble. All I can tell you is, I think the people you’re looking for came east, and then south. Don’t know when, don’t know where. But they were up to the same tricks, just about.”
Changbin has no idea if this man is right, or if he’s even telling the truth, but this lines up enough with what he already knows, so he latches onto what he can. “How many of them are there?”
“I saw seven or eight, maybe more.”
“Did you get a good look at any of them?”
The man raises an eyebrow. “What would I have seen?”
Changbin doesn’t break his gaze. “A tattoo on their leader’s collarbone. John the Baptist.”
“Ah.” The man nods slowly, an amused look in his eye. “I’m afraid I didn’t see that on anybody, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t there. If you keep looking enough I think you’ll find this gang. Then you can see for yourself.”
Had this been a few years ago, when Changbin was still in the midst of the search for his mother’s killer, this level of detail would’ve disappointed him. No names, nothing concrete, barely more information than he already had. But he’s been away for so long, getting comfortable and complacent in Jay Park while his shoulder healed, and now at least he’s finally on the scent again. It feels good. He’s getting back to where he should be.
The old man doesn't have much else to offer. He thanks Changbin for the drink, and they part ways.
This bar’s patrons didn’t hold any other promising leads, but maybe Changbin has time to search around town a little more. He looks around the room for a clock, wondering what time it is, and when he sees the time he freezes.
One o’clock already?
“Shit,” he mutters, digging some money out of his pocket to leave on the bartop. Hurrying out of the poker room, he starts down the darkened street back to the inn where he and Felix are staying.
It was an easy decision not to bring Felix with him on this little hunt. It would’ve been stressful for him to visit all these places, in far worse company than they had earlier today, and Changbin wouldn’t have felt comfortable trading drinks, information, and money unless he was by himself. Still, he didn’t mean to stay out this late.
The inn is a boxy, white-slatted building in a decent part of town. Changbin hurries up the porch steps, trying to be quiet as he goes to find their room.
When he gets to the right door, it takes him a minute to find his key. Was it in this pocket? Or in his coat pocket? Or his shirt pocket?
After going through pretty much every possible fold in his clothing, Changbin finds the key. It was in the first pocket he checked, he just didn’t see it the first time. As quietly as he can, he unlocks the door and pushes it open.
And shoves right into Felix.
“Fuck!” Felix grunts.
“Jesus!” Changbin exclaims, jumping back. “Felix, what were you doing behind the door?”
Felix staggers back, eyes going wide when he hears Changbin’s voice. “It’s you,” he says breathlessly.
That’s when Changbin sees the tears on his face. And the pistol in his right hand.
“Whoa.” He holds up his hands, suddenly not sure what he’s walked into. “What’s going on?”
Felix relaxes though, uncocking the gun and reaching up to wipe his eyes. “Sorry,” he says hoarsely. “You should shut the door, I don’t want to wake anybody up.”
“Yeah, yeah, sure.” Changbin closes the door softly behind himself, then closes the distance between him and Felix, taking the gun from him and setting it on the dresser. “What happened?” he asks, placing careful hands on Felix’s arms, as if to steady him.
Sniffling, Felix immediately latches onto him, burying his face in Changbin’s shoulder. His whole body feels tense and his breathing is heavy, like he’s trying to calm down. Looking around the room, Changbin realizes there’s a gas lamp turned to its full brightness on the nightstand and the covers of the bed are rumpled and discarded.
“Can you tell me what happened?” Changbin repeats quietly. “Did I scare you?”
Felix shakes his head, his voice muffled as he replies, “I didn’t know where you went. I started thinking of all the bad things that could’ve happened, and I don’t know this place, and, and . . . when I heard you outside the door I didn't know if it was you.”
Immediately, Changbin regrets leaving him. Why did he think that was a good idea?
“I’m sorry,” he says, rubbing Felix’s back, feeling him start to relax. “I should’ve told you where I was going. I’m sorry I scared you.”
It’s not enough of an apology, not nearly, but Felix gives him a tight squeeze and pulls away so Changbin can see his shaky smile. “It’s okay. I just got upset, I don’t know. I haven’t dealt with this in a long time.”
Changbin pushes blond strands out of Felix’s face, the way he always does, and presses a little kiss to his cheek. “It’s alright. We can talk about it, if you want.”
Felix falters a little, stepping away and settling himself on the foot of the bed. He brings his hands to his face again, taking a deep breath as Changbin sits down next to him. “When we were at that bar earlier today . . . I thought that man recognized me . . .” He sort of half-laughs at himself. “I know he didn’t, obviously. I realized that once you told me he was just flirting with me. But still, it brought back all those feelings.”
“From when you were kidnapped?”
“It’s not just that,” Felix explains. “It was so crowded with all those strangers, it reminded me of that night in New Orleans. The—the man I killed.”
“Oh.” Changbin’s sort of heard this story before, but not in any detail.
“I don’t even remember most of it,” Felix says, “‘cause it all happened so fast. But I remember how it felt. Panicked and terrified and just . . . alone. Like there was no one in the world who could help me, or who’d even want to.”
Changbin squeezes his hand, moving to wrap one arm around his shoulders. The stone of guilt has fully sunk in his stomach. How could he leave Felix so unthinkingly? He was so eager to jump at the chance to search for his mother’s killer that he didn’t stop to consider what Felix needed from him.
“I’m sorry,” he says again. “I know you wouldn’t have left me alone if I needed you, so I should’ve been here when you needed me.”
“It’s okay.” Felix gives him a weak smile. “You went out again, right? To find the guy who was looking for Han?”
“I—yeah.” Changbin bites his tongue. The lie was out before he could even stop it. He can’t explain it anyway, and he’s already being selfish by worrying about his vengeance quest while he’s here, he can’t force Felix to worry about it too. He lets the lie go uncorrected.
“You’re a good friend,” Felix says quietly. Changbin feels like anything but.
But he can’t explain that now. For once, the straightforward approach isn’t going to work. So he just holds onto Felix, acting like the rock he’s supposed to be, until Felix eventually takes a deep breath and says he’s okay.
Changbin lets him go, but only long enough to change out of the clothes he’s worn all day and turn out the light. Then Felix is back in his arms, climbing into bed and settling against his chest where he should be. Sighing, Changbin feels the fine strands of Felix’s hair brush against his face. A tiny hand squeezes his arm, holding on for a moment.
“You okay?” Felix asks, muffled.
“Yeah,” Changbin replies. It’s not completely true.
Just a short while ago he was elated to be back on course, pursuing the man who killed his mother, but that has turned to dread. He can’t have it both ways. He can’t have Felix and Jinnie, his friends or his home, if he wants to keep going down this path. Jay Park has been an oasis in the desert, but it's fading like a mirage.
“Goodnight, Binnie,” murmurs Felix, his voice resonant through Changbin’s chest.
Pressing a soft kiss to Felix’s head, Changbin echoes, “Goodnight.”