Chapter Text
To say James felt like shit would be an understatement.
His body was sore from the previous day’s fight, and eyes heavy from hours of quiet sobbing. His head was pounding, and he couldn’t stop it. The guilt was by far the worst of it, however. How could he not be guilty? He’d just killed two people. Sure, they were cannibals and sure, they did attack first, that’s what Aiden continued to reassure him, but he still murdered two human beings.
How could anyone possibly expect him to be able to move on after something like that? He didn’t get a moment of sleep that night, not when Aiden and their mute friend left together, nor when they came back in, looking both exhausted.
Eventually he’d stopped seeing a point in tossing and turning, and used the rising sun as an excuse to get up and actually do something, hoping to be able to get his mind off things rather than waste away hours marinating in his guilty thoughts. Slowly, he forced himself from his mattress, careful not to wake Aiden who slept soundly next to him, and tiptoed outside.
The cool morning air wrapped around him quickly, sending a small shiver down his spine. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he looked around for any signs of life. A few people walked about weapons in hand in case an infected or raider were to attack the town, a few residents went about their morning duties peacefully, and there James was, watching it all as he tried to figure out what to do now. It was while he was standing that he heard the distinct sound of distant conversation.
His curiosity now piqued, he followed it, walking through the gravel and dead grass for a few moments before he reached his destination, which James recognized to be the area behind Shawn and Jasmine’s cart. He wasn’t suprised to see the couple awake so early, but he was suprised to see the blonde woman from the day before accompanying them. Dawn, he remembered. She was sitting on a foldable chair near the couple, next to her, Scarlett sat, staring off absently in silence. He watched the, for a few moments before Jasmine noticed him, and smiled.
“You’re up early!”
She greeted, waving him over, wearily he came up to the group, standing awkwardly next to Scarlett.
“I heard what happened yesterday,”
Dawn began with a sympathetic look, approaching James and putting a hand on his shoulder.
“You holding up okay?”
James was slightly caught off guard by the gentleness of her voice, but collected himself.
“Yeah, I’m.. doing alright.”
It was a blatant lie, but James wasn’t really in the mood to pour his heart out to a person he’d had exactly one conversation to before. Everyone could tell it wasn’t true, but to James’ relief, they didn’t press the subject. Glancing over to Scarlett, he winced a bit seeing the sorry state she was in. Her head was hung low, eyes downcast and hands set into tight fists in her lap. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed her nails were short and with jagged edges from being bit, scabs and cuts on her fingers from the skin being picked at, dark circles under her eyes, she seriously wasn’t doing well.
“How are the people we helped yesterday?”
James asked, hoping to aleviate the awkward silence.
“It’s.. a bit complicated.”
Shawn admitted.
“Katie and Sadie are doing just fine, they actually were with me and your two other friends last night chatting.”
James nodded.
“The others…. not doing so well.”
He sighed, shifting from one foot to the other.
“I could have guessed..”
James trailed, eyes falling back to the dead grass next to him. He wasn’t sure how long he was there, chatting with the others, it must have been at least another hour or two before Aiden and their masked friend came out, Hunter, Aiden called him. James felt releived to finally know his name, he even spoke to them, but he still kept his mask on.
“Morning.”
Aiden greeted, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
“How long you been awake?”
He asked James through a yawn, the older man giving a sheepish look.
“A while.”
He admitted as his friends stood next to him, Aiden and Scarlett locking eyes.
“You.. feeling okay?”
Aiden asked, looking back down at James to give him a concerned look.
“Yeah, I’m doing better.”
James lied, fidgeting with his dreads, which he hadn’t bothered to put up yet. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Aiden stare a bit, shake his head, and then look up again, this time at Shawn.
“I had a good time talking last night, it really helped get my mind off things.”
“We’re friends, don’t worry about it.”
He shrugged.
“You can talk with me anytime you want.”
Aiden blinked.
“Friends?”
Shawn glanced away, prompting his lover to chuckle.
“Well, that’s how we see you. You’ve helped us out a lot in such little time, your good people. And fun to be around.”
Aiden’s expression morphed into a small grin.
“You’re not so bad yourself.”
“And it’s our job to do this because…?”
Yul trailed, giving an expectant look. Although, James knew damn well nothing he told his brash friend would be a good enough answer for him.
“Because they don’t actually know the way and sure as hell won’t make Scarlett go back to that place. They just need to get the rest of the stuff, find the armory.”
James reiterated, having already told Yul twice now.
“We left a stick perched into the ground for that exact reason! They couldn’t find something so obvious?!”
Yul shouted, exasperated and angry at the inconvenience.
“Come on, we’ll be in and out in a few hours it’s not a big deal. We know the way around so it’ll be easier this time.”
Aiden interjected with an annoyed sigh.
“Look, it’ll be the three of us plus Shawn, it won’t take long.”
At this, James raised an eyebrow.
“I’m not coming with you?”
Aiden and Shawn exchanged glances, a silent conversation flowing between the two as they thought of the best explanation they could provide.
“Well..”
Aiden began, adopting a gentle tone.
“Yesterday was.. a lot. For all of us of course, but you especially. We figured you should just take it easy for today, y’know?”
James nodded, trying to suppress the pang of insecurity that crept into his mind. He was the strongest out of all his friends, he should be the one protecting them, not the other way around. His true feelings on the matter must have shown on his expression, as Aiden added onto the statement.
“It isn’t that we don’t trust you to do a good job or anything, we just think you deserve a break. That’s all.”
“No, no. I get it. Thanks.. thanks for caring about me.”
James said earnestly. He still felt embarrassed at being coddled by the friends he was supposed to look after, but at the same time, he could really use some relaxation.
“Uhm..”
James turned towards Scarlett, who began to speak up, stammering and tripping over her words.
“I.. I’d like if- c-could.. could you..”
She struggled to get the words out, her voice barely above a whisper before she turned away, clearly embarrassed. Dawn comforted her, and leaned close as Scarlett whispered something to her.
“Aiden,”
Dawn spoke up on behalf of her friend, turning towards the younger man.
“Scarlett would appreciate it if you stayed behind and spent the day with us.”
James turned his gaze back to Aiden, who blinked in surprise.
“I- sure, I guess. But.. who’d go in my place? I think they could use more than three people to search the bunker again.”
There was no better way this could have gone, at least in Katie’s opinion.
Sure, an underground bunker out in the middle of a random desert wasn’t the most romantic setting, but she finally had an excuse to interact with Yul and shoot her shot! Glancing over to Sadie, she could tell the small grin on her face meant she was thinking the exact same. Sadie had volunteered to come along, mostly to play wingman for her friend, and to say Katie was immensely grateful would be an understatement. Glancing over at her, the two friends exchanged hushed giggles at the situation, before Sadie ushered Katie towards Yul, who either didn’t notice their strange behavior or simply didn’t care.
“So..”
Katie began, doing her best to sound as nonchalant as possible. Admittedly, flirting never was her strong-suit.
“I really appreciate you and your friends helping us yesterday, I was really scared back there.”
“Okay.”
Yul muttered in simple response, Katie blinked, but figured he was maybe just shy.
“You were really brave, you know that? Going against all those cannibals to save us, you were just.. amazing..”
“I know.”
“I was so worried for you and your friends, that you’d get yourselves hurt or killed, but you didn’t seem scared in the slightest. And the way you fought so hard and kept so calm was so cool.”
“Uh huh.”
Katie felt herself grow a bit agitated at these one word answers, she knew she was bad at flirting, but did he really need to be thus dull and dismissive of her? Backing up a few paces back to Sadie, she leaned in and whispered to her.
“Girl, he’s barely engaging with me at all. Am I doing something wrong?”
“Maybe he’s gay?”
Sadie suggested with a shrug, making Katie narrow her eyes.
“That’s not reassuring.”
“It’s a possibility, I dunno. Go ask him.”
Katie nodded, walking back up to Yul.
“So.. is there anyone special in your life right now?”
“No.”
“Really? I’m surprised a guy as handsome as you is single! You really have no one? No girlfriend, boyfriend, anything?”
“Ew- no! I’m not gay!”
“Got it.”
Backing up a few paces, she leaned down to whisper to Sadie.
“Okay, so he’s not gay.”
“I know, I heard. I think that’s the biggest reaction he’s had to anything you’ve said so far. Do you think he might be homophobic because that’s kind of a red flag..?”
“I hope not.”
Katie replied with a grimace.
“Well- he’s friends with Aiden and Aiden is gay, if he were homophobic he wouldn’t be friends with him!”
“Oh.. you’re right!”
Katie nodded.
“MaybeI I just need to try harder to get a reaction out of him. Quick, push me so I fall in his arms and he catches me! It’ll be so romantic!”
“Okay.”
With that, Sadie grabbed Katie and practically threw her at Yul. The two tumbling onto the cold tile floor with a yelp.
“What the hell was that for?!”
Yul demanded, Shawn and Hunter stopping to stare at them as Katie practically lay on top of Yul.
“N-nothing! I just tripped is all.”
Yul rolled his eyes at that, dragging Katie to her feet before continuing down the bunker halls.
“He helped me up! He’s so into me!”
Katie whisper shouted to Sadie, who gave a mischievous grin.
“Maybe I should arrange a little alone time for you two, eh?”
“Oh my God, stop!”
Katie gave her friend a small punch to the shoulder, the two exchanging hushed laughter, stopping themselves when they saw all three men staring at them. Katie turned red, realizing they may have been a bit too loud.
“So, how come you decided to stay behind?”
Aiden asked, giving Jasmine a curious look.
“Shawn just wants me to take it easy for a while.”
“How come?”
Jasmine glanced away, trying to suppress a smile but failing miserably.
“We’re keeping it a surprise.”
Aiden raised an eyebrow, looking over to James, who just gave a simple shrug in response. Glancing from Aiden to Dawn and Scarlett, he caught a glimpse of a knowing smirk on the blonde’s face.
“Well,”
She began, turning to Aiden and James.
“Have you gotten a good look around yet?”
“I guess so, we’ve been around the town, traded with people, it’s been good so far.”
James replied with a shrug.
“Why do you ask?”
“Well..”
Dawn trailed, a grin creeping its way onto her features.
“I just wanted to maybe introduce you to someone but I wanted you to know if you met them yet..”
“Dawn, we are not doing this right now.”
“Too late!”
Dawn announced, standing to her feet and taking Scarlett with her, the two hand in hand.
“Come on!”
She said to Aiden and James, ushering them to stand.
“I want you to meet my children!”
James blinked.
“Since when did you have kids?”
“She-“
“Come on, let me introduce them!”
“Dawn..”
“Please?”
Jasmine gave a long, exasperated sigh.
“God dammit- fine.
Turning to Aiden and James, she gestured for them to stand and follow her. The two companions exchanged curious looks, but did as they were asked regardless. The four made their way through the town, weaving between train cars and tents until they reached a massive barn. Dawn scurried to the door, unlocking it excitedly.
“Alright, here they are!”
She singsonged, swinging the barn door open to reveal her ‘children’. James blinked, then blinked again as he registered the puzzling sight, the barn filled to the brim with all manner of animals. Large windows illuminated the structure as each creature went about its business. Dogs, cats, bugs, birds, farm animals and- James’ eyes widened.
“Is that a fucking wolf?!”
He asked in surprise, taking a step back, Aiden noticed the animal too, and backed away a few paces, looking like he wanted to run away.
“Oh, he’s friendly, don’t worry!”
Dawn reassured, grabbing Aiden’s arm.
“Come on, let me introduce you!”
“No, no.. I’m good.”
“I insist.”
“Mm-mm, I’m fine. All good standing out here.. away from the animals.”
“They’re harmless!”
Dawn insisted passive aggressively, beginning to drag Aiden in with a surprising strength.
“No- no! I like it out here! I’m fine just watching!”
“They’ll love you!”
“I’d really rather not-“
“Too late!”
With that, Dawn shoved Aiden inside with the others, beaming ear to ear.
“These are my children! Aren’t they just the cutest little things you’ve ever seen?”
Dawn asked enthusiastically, pointing at the variety of critters compacted into a singular barn. Aiden shuddered at the sight, his eyes darting between large spiders, reptiles, and the mentioned wolf.
“Yep..”
James looked over to his friend, and gave him a pat on the shoulder.
“Let’s just get this over with..”
He muttered with a grimace, wishing he could have been anywhere else in that moment.
This hadn’t gone the way she’d hoped, at all. Katie and the others had been down there for hours and no progress had been made in charming Yul. They’d just been roaming the halls, filling their bag with supplies, putting said bags into the wagons they had outside, all on a continuous and agitating loop. The only thing that really made the situation better was Sadie’s presence, but she seemed to be growing impatient too. Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be, she figured.
“….So yeah, medical school didn’t work out, but it could have been worse.”
Shawn said, concluding his rant that he had been subjecting poor Hunter to for the last half hour or so, although, he didn’t seem to mind. Nodding along to Shawn’s stories and rambling, he almost seemed invested in the conversation, even if he hardly spoke a word. Katie sighed, glancing around the dusty halls. It was cold in the bunker, smelly too thanks to the dead infected in the many laboratories.
“Did we look through this room yet?”
Hunter asked, suddenly speaking up and pointing a finger at a large door.
“I don’t think so..”
Shawn answered with an equally curious expression. The four made their way towards the door, Yul being the first to get it open.
“Looks like-“
Yul cut himself off, his eyes suddenly going wide.
“What is it?”
Katie asked, looking over his shoulder.
“No way!”
“Why are you shying away from them so much? I told you they’re friendly!”
Dawn berated with two hands on her hips, Aiden didn’t seem to mind her attitude, only the various animals he was too busy cringing at in disgust.
“I’m sure they are.”
He muttered, keeping his hands close to his body. James, for his part, wasn’t doing much better himself, practically shaking in his boots as a long centipede crawled up his arm and onto his shoulder. He shuddered, expression contorting with disgust, he wanted nothing more than to slap the thing away and stomp it to death.
“So..”
He began, attempting to distract himself from the feeling of pure disgust that took over every cell in his body.
“How come Jasmine and Scarlett didn’t come inside?”
Dawn’s smile faltered slightly at the question.
“Well.…. Scarlet gets overwhelmed easily, the poor thing had a panic attack when we brought her to the barn for the first time, all the noise and the animals moving around was just too much for her. And, we can’t really leave her alone either so Jasmine’s waiting outside with her.”
“She seems to trust you two the most.”
James pointed out, he’d only been there a few days but from what he had seen Scarlett practically followed the two women around like a lost puppy, only directly speaking to them, until this morning at least.
“You too.”
James added, looking over to Aiden, who was standing, arms crossed in annoyance as a dog gnawed on his leg like a chew tow. Aiden averted his gaze from the pesky canine to look over to his companion and raise an eyebrow at the statement, a signal to elaborate.
“Well, remember while you were in the infirmary for those few days?”
“Yeah, what about it?”
“She asked about you a few times, only ever reason she spoke to me. You’re really the only person aside from those two she’s really interacted with. Anytime someone tries to talk to her she freezes up or just whispers whatever she has to say to Dawn and Jasmine so they can relay it to whoever she was speaking to.”
He explained, motioning with his hand and abruptly stopping when it made the centipede crawl about once more.
“I guess since you were the first person in.. God knows how long to really show her kindness she’s gotten attached.”
Auden blinked, considering his words at length.
“Huh.. I guess so.”
He agreed, giving a sigh of relief as the dog stopped chewing on his leg, and trotted away, presumably having found something better to do with it’s time than harass the new guy. James sighed in relief when the centipede finally crawled off of his body and back to the floor. He scanned the ground, and picked up a nearby cat, holding the feline in his arms and petting it gently as he watched the other two.
“Hey Aiden, look who I found!”
Dawn called excitedly, extending her open palms, which held a large and horrifying tarantula. Auden screeched, backing away several paces away from it, then stopping in his tracks as the wolf in the corner stirred in it’s sleep at the sudden disturbance. He turned back to Dawn with disgust at the creature she held.
“Keep that thing away from me!”
He demanded, stepping away from the sleeping beast and back towards Dawn and James.
“Oh come on, he’s friendly! Just look at him, isn’t he cute?”
She asked with a demure squee, presenting the arachnid in all it’s disgusting glory.
“No, it isn’t.”
Aiden answered swiftly and bluntly. Dawn frowned, before walking towards him and grabbing his hand with a death grip.
“What are you doing?!”
Aiden demanded, immediately panicking as Dawn set the tarantula down in his palm.
“Quit that, I told you he’s friendly!”
Dawn insisted as the creature began to crawl about Aiden’s hand and up his arm, the man looking completely horrified.
“Get this thing off of me! Get it off!”
Aiden screeched, waving his arm about wildly in an attempt to throw it, much to his dismay, his new ‘friend’ seemed to take this as some sort of game, lifting it’s legs in random intervals, and hopping around his arm, which only made Aiden look even more distraught.
“What the hell is it doing?!”
“Aw! He likes you!”
“Get it off of me!”
James watched on in amusement, setting the cat down back on the floor when it began to squirm, and crossing his arms as he observed the ordeal. Aiden continued waving his arm about, until the tarantula crawled onto his shoulder and towards his face, making Aiden’s expression contort with horror. He froze, too scared to even move an inch, for fear the thing would freak out and bite him. It continued crawling, and tapped its front legs at Aiden’s cheek a few times, before settling down on his shoulder and rubbing against his neck slightly, as if to nuzzle him. Aiden blinked, still completely frozen, his expression turning from horror to confusion at the sudden development. He remained like that for a few long moments, before slowly reaching a hand up to the spider. After using its front leg to tap his hand a few times, it crawled into Aiden’s hand and settled down. Aiden was silent for a while, staring uncomprehending at the creature he held until a small grin crept its way upon his lips and he gave a small chuckle.
“I guess he’s not.. so bad.”
He admitted, putting a finger to the spider before giving it an affectionate pet on the abdomen. Dawn gave a self assured smirk, the words ‘I told you so’ practically radiating off of her.
“I think you were more emotional about having a spider on your body than you were when you lost an eye.”
James pointed out with a raised eyebrow.
“So do you want to hold him then?”
Aiden challenged extending his hand in James’ direction, who quickly shook his head.
“No, no. I’m good.”
Aiden rolled his eyes, turning his attention back to the spider in his hand.
“Does he have a name?”
Dawn nodded.
“Shawn named him Frank.” (Yes Isabel, I added your spider, and yes, I changed her name)
“It’s too heavy!”
Yul complained as he struggled to lift the bag over his head for the others to grab.
“Put your elbows into it!”
Sadie advised unhelpfully, prompting Yul to glare at her as she finally gripped onto the bag.
“Shut the hell up, it isn’t my fault your arm can barely fit through the hole!”
Sadie narrowed her eyes at the insult, and without warning, let go. Katie’s eyes widened as the heavy load fell right onto Yul and sent him tumbling to the floor in a heap. (Imagine Yul making the Roblox dying sound)
“Oops.”
She said disingenuously, waiting for the barrage of insults she already knew would come her way. However, Yul said nothing, he simply lay silent on the floor. Katie blinked, and stepped forward, bending down to inspect Yul. She gasped, putting a hand over her mouth.
“You killed him!”
She exclaimed to Sadie, who merely shrugged.
“He’ll get up.”
A long silence stretched between the two as they waited for Yul to snap out of it.
“He’s just being lazy.”
“I think you seriously hurt him!”
“He’ll be okay.”
“Sadie!”
Katie exclaimed in an exasperated and concerned tone.
“What’s going-“
Shawn began, approaching the ladder with Hunter at his side. Both froze when they saw what had happened, they stared long and hard at the sight bellow them in silence.
“….Do I even want to know?’
At that, Sadie merely shrugged.
“My hand slipped.”
The warm sun’s rays cast a bright glow onto James’ body as he sat next to Aiden and the others, his friend gleefully playing with his new pet of sorts. He intentionally kept his distance, wanting nothing to do with the tarantula, instead listening to Dawn ramble on about each and every animal she kept in the barn, telling the long winded tales of how and where she had found them.
“You really have a way with animals, huh?”
“Yeah, if I didn’t know better I’d say she could tame an infected.”
Jasmine agreed with a snicker.
“Oh, I tried that once..”
Dawn admitted, taking off her right boot to reveal a good half of her foot gone.
“It didn’t end very well.”
James grimaced at the sight.
“Jesus..”
He muttered under his breath.
“Yeah, it bit half my foot off in one go, wasn’t a very fun experience.”
She said with an air of mild embarrassment.
“I can’t imagine it was nearly as bad as whatever got you stuck without an eye.”
Dawn commented, glancing over to Aiden, who scoffed.
“Wasn’t just my eye, fucked up my back and hand too, now it’s always trembling a bit.”
Aiden said as he raised his right hand, which shook slightly. James raised an eyebrow, he hadn’t noticed before. Then again, the movements were subtle.
“You think that’s bad? I still got a chunk of my arm missing from an attack from an infected.”
Jasmine chimed in.
“And Scarlett? She went years without sunlight.”
She added on the red head’s behalf, who mantained her silence.
“I’m still pretty fucked up about what happened yesterday.”
James admitted.
“I get that, it’s never easy killing the first time.”
Jasmine said sympathetically.
“Tell me about it, I was forced to kill one of my best friends and didn’t even get a moment to process the ordeal before I was right back to fighting for my life again.”
Aiden said with a scoff, causing Jasmine to let out a whistle.
“Well, I think we got a winner.”
She announced sarcastically.
“Yeah.. I love animals with everything I have, but since the outbreak.. I’ve had no choice but to start eating meat.”
Dawn murmured, sounding as if she’d been forced to kill her own child.
“I don’t think giving up veganism is comparable to killing somebody.”
Jasmine pointed out with an eye roll.
“Yeah, but it still hurt.”
Dawn grumbled bitterly. James sighed, of course when he tried to tell the others how much what he did hurt they just had to treat it like a competition. He looked away, staring off into space as the group continued about their conversation, Dawn and Jasmine debating the morality of eating animals, while Scarlett came up to Aiden, sitting down next to him and muttering something. James’ interest piqued, and he began to listen to the conversation, trying not to seem as if he was eavesdropping.
“W-will it bite me?”
Scarlett asked timidly, eyeing Frank as he sat in Aiden’s palm.
“No, he’s nice, trust me.”
He reassured gently, taking her hand and putting the spider into her palm. Scarlett tensed as it crawled around a bit before jumping back onto Aiden, who chuckled.
“I guess he’s a bit introverted.”
“I- I think he’s cool..”
Scarlett murmured.
“I think.. I- uhm.. do you..”
She trailed, stumbling over her words.
“I’m sorry- I’m not g-good at this kind of stuff.”
“No, no, it’s okay.”
“I just wanted to- I..”
She stammered, tearing up a bit as she struggled to speak.
“I’m sorry, I- I haven’t talked to people in a long time..”
“No, don’t apologize, it’s okay.”
Aiden insisted to the red head, who started picking at the skin around her nail beds once more. James looked away, feeling as if he was invading the conversation somehow.
“Oh, I wanted to give you something.”
Dawn spoke up, fishing something out of her pocket. James raised an eyebrow as she scooted towards him, feeling a small blush form on his cheeks as she took his hand into her own.
“It isn’t much but you’ve done a lot for us these past few days and I just wanted to give you little something. As a thanks.”
She explained as she deposited a small box into his hand. He raised an eyebrow, opening it to find it was filled with nearly wrapped candies. He hummed, unwrapping one and popping it into his mouth, savoring the burst of artificial sweetness he hadn’t experienced in a long time.
“Thanks, it’s been.. forever since I’ve had anything like this. I was never big on candy and stuff before the outbreak but honestly, I’d kill for any kind of dessert.”
He admitted with a sigh. Opening his mouth to speak once more, he was interrupted by a familiar, obnoxious voice.
“Look what we found!”
Yul excitedly announced as he and the others returned.
“What?”
James asked, already fed up with his mere existence. Yul smirked, pulling something out of one of the bags, a pistol. The group let out collective gasps. The only places left with guns were raider clans and large communities, they’d taken them all once the outbreak began, leaving everyone else to get creative with their weapons.
“How many are there?”
Jasmine immediately asked, bolting to her feet as her lover gave a sheepish look.
“..Three.”
He admitted.
“But it’s still a much better way of defending ourselves against raiders!”
He quickly added.
“You’ve had encounters with raiders here?”
James asked, noticing in the corner of his eye how Aiden cringed at the mention of them.
“Yeah.. a few months back a small group of them came in and tried to take over the place, we lost five people before we drove them out.”
Jasmine explained solemnly, and James felt a twinge of sympathy for the Australian, he could only imagine how crushing it was for her to lose so many lives, lives she was responsible for protecting. Quickly, she snapped back to a more cheery demeanor at the news.
“Let’s take them back to our cart, did you find bullets too?”
She asked as she, Shawn, Katie, and Sadie went off with the newly retrieved supplies, the ladder two seeming eager to run off. James looked back to Yul, before his eyes widened.
“What the fuck happened to your face?!”
He asked, watching as his friend felt at the black eye he had gotten since leaving.
“That fatass dropped a bag on my head.”
He grumbled, prompting James to burst into a fit of laughter.
“My God- that’s fucking awesome!”
“Yeah, it was really awesome when me and Shawn had to hold him back from gouging her eyes out.”
Hunter grumbled, looking over to Aiden, eyes widening at the tarantula on his thigh.
“You have a-“
“Is that a fucking tarantula?!”
Yul screeched, pulling out an arrow to swat Frank off of Aiden’s leg, before swiftly impaling him. Aiden’s eyes widened and jaw dropped, Dawn letting out a sharp gasp.
“You killed him!”
Aiden exclaimed, face painted with both rage and grief.
“It was going to bite you, you should be thanking me!”
“Don’t call him ‘it’- he has a name you asshole!”
Aiden yelled back as he pulled the arrow out of Frank’s body and gently lifted him up, holding him close as he squirmed around for a few seconds, then died. Aiden let out a small, devastated squeak as his new companion perished in his arms. (That’s right Isabel, I killed your fucking spider)
“What the fuck is wrong with you?! You killed him!”
“You mean her?”
Aiden’s rage turned to confusion as Hunter spoke up.
“Huh?”
“I had a pet tarantula in middle school, the males are more slender, that’s a female.”
There was a long, tense silence before Aiden spoke again.
“I’ve been misgendering her this whole time?!”
“Oh no..”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
He demanded, turning to Dawn.
“I kind of just assumed-“
“You’re a monster!”
Aiden screeched, whipping his head back in Yul’s direction.
“You knew that thing for half a day at most, chill out.”
Aiden opened his mouth, then closed it.
“I never had a pet before, okay? Why did you even kill her in the first place?!”
“Aren’t spiders poisonous? I thought it was gonna bite you, you should be thanking me for looking out for you and being such a good friend.”
Yul replied with a roll of his eyes. Aiden looked back to the dead arachnid in his hands, and sniffed.
“You’re a fucking asshole.”
He grumbled.
“Are you seriously crying over this?”
“I’ve never had a pet before, shut up!”
Hunter gave Aiden a small pat on the back before the two left together, presumably to go burry the poor thing.
“Tommorow?”
Shawn repeated, confused by the question.
“You just got here!”
“I know but..”
Aiden began, sighing.
“I seriously need to find someone and I seriously need to get going to find them! I don’t want to get attached to this place and I don’t want to be by myself again if the others decide they want to stay.”
“Aiden, you’ve done so much for us in such short time, we’d be more than okay with you and your friends making a home here!”
“That isn’t an option! I- look, we need to get going as soon as possible. Alright?”
Shawn sighed, putting a hand on the younger man’s shoulder.
“Fine. You can leave tommorow morning, but we’re not sending you off empty handed, not after everything you’ve done for us.”
“But-“
“Don’t argue with me, there are dangers everywhere and we will help you and your friends out to face them.”
“..Fine.”
“You’re always welcome here if you change your mind, remember that. Okay?”
Aiden nodded.
“Thanks, for everything.”
He said with a small smile as he went inside his train cart to go sleep. Shawn sighed, turning on his heel and making his way back to his own to finally get some sleep.
He wasn’t sure how late it was when he returned to the train cart he and Jasmine shared, but he must have been talking with Aiden for a while if his lover’s sleeping form was anything to go by. He couldn’t help but smile softly as he opened their makeshift door, and carefully closed it behind him, removing his shoes and coat before he approached the bed. Jasmine’s hair was out of its usual ponytail, the silky locks shining slightly under the dim light of the candle on their night stand. Jasmine was fast asleep by now, her chest rising and falling at a uniform pace, her expression calm and peaceful. Bending down slightly, he reached a hand down, caressing her cheek gently.
His beloved, even in her sleep, leaned into the affectionate gesture, seeming almost disappointed when he pulled his hand away so he could get into bed with her. Careful not to wake her, he climbed in next to her, getting comfortable beneath their shared blankets. He stared long and hard at his gorgeous lover, slightly concerned. She’d been sick recently, she was more fatigued than usual, with spikes of nausea, and.. something else she wouldn’t tell him. He knew for a fact there was something else at play, that she was hiding something from him. He could always tell when his lover was hiding something from him. But, on the other hand, he trusted that whatever it was she was keeping from him, she had a good reason for doing so.
He hadn’t even realized she’d awoken until she rolled over to face him, he must’ve woken her up by accident. He mentally kicked himself for disturbing her, but she didn’t seem to mind too much. They stared at each other for a while, the silence not awkward, but strangely comfortable. Silences with Jasmine always were, that was one of the many things that set her apart from every other person he knew, she was just so easy to get along with. Easy to look at, easy to talk to, easy to love.
“You’re smarter than people give you credit for, have I ever told you that?”
Jasmine spoke up, breaking the silence. Shawn raised an eyebrow at the statement.
“What do you mean?”
Jasmine shrugged, inching closer to her beloved.
“Well..”
She trailed, thinking of the best way to put her feelings into words.
“Everyone used to think you were crazy, your fears about the apocalypse, but.. you were right all along.”
Jasmine gave a short chuckle.
“I can’t even count how many times the research you did for years beforehand saved my life. People always treated you as ridiculous but now.. the place you helped to build is one of the few safe havens for miles.”
Jasmine gave an earnest smile.
“I always hated how nobody took you seriously, to a degree some people still don’t.”
Shawn nodded, recalling how his reputation on total drama followed him into his adult life, even now people were sometimes still skeptical to the validity of his words, it never ceased to drive him crazy with frustration.
“I think.. even you believe it too, to a certain degree.”
Now that caught Shawn off guard, he blinked once, then again, giving Jasmine an intuitive stare.
“Go on.”
“I mean.. it’s just that you never take yourself seriously. You’re self deprecating jabs and jokes, the way you hide your emotions around everyone else… even around me.”
Jasmine took his hand into hers.
“I can’t remember the last time I saw you cry, or the last time you seeked comfort, you just bottle all these feelings away, and I can tell you’re hurting, how much the responsibilities of running this town is getting to you. I hate seeing you suffer in silence like this.”
Jasmine continued with a solemn expression that made Shawn feel guilty, even if he wasn’t the only one hiding stuff.
“Please..”
Jasmine pleaded with a heavy sigh.
“Just talk to me, tell me what’s going on.”
Shawn considered her request long and hard before giving in with a sigh of his own.
“I feel weak.”
He admitted.
“It’s just.. there were so many times I’ve failed as a leader, failed to help people. Just yesterday there was a whole little camp of fucking cannibals a few hours away and I didn’t even know about it! By the time we found out half the captives were already dead, that man’s leg was mutilated, that little girl was traumatized, and that woman was widowed! If I had just known a little earlier, I could have done something! Instead, four random guys had to practically do it for us! I was such an incompetent leader that I couldn’t even do anything to help those people, it was four random men with no ties to us! If I had known earlier I could have saved those people before they were hurt and killed, but I didn’t! Time and time again whether it be against infected, raiders, drought, I’ve failed to protect the people I’m responsible for! I’m an irresponsible leader, I don’t deserve these people!”
Shawn’s voice cracked, and he looked away.
“I don’t deserve you..”
There was a long silence, before Jasmine reached her free hand up, and gently turned Shawn’s face so he was looking at her.
“We’re both equally responsible. You can’t put all this blame on just yourself. It isn’t your fault. Neither of us were qualified to run a community when this all started, but you refused to give up. Despite everything that’s happened over these years you never faltered. You’re not weak for having your own shortcomings, for failing every now and then, we all do. What matters is that never once have you given up on everything we built because you knew that we still needed to keep going and keep helping as best we could. You aren’t a bad leader, or a bad husband, and you’re not weak. You’re human.”
Jasmine’s gaze held a deep sympathy, and immense love. Shawn found himself turning a but red, blushing as if he were a teenager all over again, as if he was gazing at the most strong and gorgeous woman in the world for the first time again, realizing what love really was all over again. Shawn’s expression softened into a smile.
“Thank you..”
He whispered, leaning forward until their foreheads were touching.
“Jasmine?”
“Yeah?”
“What have you been hiding from me?”
Shawn suppressed a shudder at the way her expression plummeted.
“What do you mean?”
“Jasmine, I’m your husband, I know you. And I know when you’re hiding something from me, you’ve been sick lately, more tired, you’ve had a strange appetite.. you’re just acting strange. Please, whatever it is you can tell me.”
Shawn pleaded, squeezing her hand for emphasis.
“Please. Just tell me What it is. I told you what was wrong with me, it’s only fair you do the same.”
Jasmine sighed, and sat up, Shawn soon following suit.
“I wanted it to be a surprise..”
She began, staring down.
“I’m not sick, Shawn, far from it...”
Jasmine trained, a smile slowly but surely growing on her face.
“I’m pregnant.”
(Why you should give a fuck, I dunno. But I’m the author and I say you should care about these two so care.)
WAIT, BEFORE YOU GO:
The only fun I had making this boring ahh chapter