Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was supposed to be a simple body recovery mission, and yet it was another mission gone south. Stan was hiding behind a building. His right arm had a few bullet holes, and he was struggling to load his gun.

“I hope the others are alright and made it somewhere safe,” He said to himself. He looked back, seeing only a few enemies with guns. “Eight of them and one of me so far hope the others are around here ready to jump in,”

Stan reloaded his gun with a few bullets and took cover in a nearby area and aimed his gun at one of the men waiting for his chance to strike. He took the shot and hit one of them in the chest and quickly dick down. He heard the assailant talking before they pulled out their guns.

Stan was nervous and hoped he wasn't seen, with one arm down at the moment the odds didn't seem to be in his favor. He suddenly heard another shot and heard the assailant's were running into another area. Stan took a look and saw two bodies on the ground dead. It didn't take long for Stan to put the pieces together and realize one of his coworkers was nearby.

Stan got up and quietly followed the assailants, keeping his distance from them as he heard more bullets firing. He stopped behind a corner of a damaged Building and saw two more bodies on the ground and four assailants left. Things were turning around quickly almost too quickly the only guy who was fast enough to shoot and take cover was Duper and as far as Stan knew he wasn't on this mission.

Stan then hears yelling and Bullets firing and sees the assailants taking cover. Stan recognized the scream to be Jackson's which made Stan concerned for him as it sounded like anger and sadness from the sound of it.

“Something must have happened near Jackson for him to give himself away like that,” Stan guessed. He moved to another area where he could take a clean shot and went inside a nearby building. Once inside Stan saw a staircase leading upwards and went up them hearing more gun fire and yelling in the background this time coming from one of his coworkers with one of the screams being Dick's voice.

“Gotta hurry or things will get bad soon,” Stan said, running up the stairs and heading towards a nearby window. He took a look outside and saw a few of his coworkers dead body and one of the assailants body on the ground bleeding out presumably dead as well leaving just two guys left.

Before Stan could take aim he looked at the assailant's surroundings and saw a barrel and had an idea. Stan shot the barrel causing it to explode sending both assailants flying out of their cover spot and landed on the ground in view of Stan's coworkers who quickly opened fire killing both of them.

Stan sighs in relief thinking how things might have been bad if he was the one who had to fend them off alone. He left the building and met up with his coworkers who were injured. Stan was about to say something but as he got closer he saw the sad look on Jackon and Dick's face. “Are you both alright? You look sad," he asked.

“Stan you're alright that's a relief,” Dick said looking at him a bit happy.

“Yeah, and you guys look OK too except for a few bullet wounds but you both look sad. Did something happen?” Stan asked, a bit concerned.

The two were silent for a while until Jackson pointed to the area behind him near a tree. Stan, confused, made his way over to the area Jackson pointed. Once he was there he looked down and his eyes widened and dropped to his knees. N-No, it can't be… John…?” He asked in disbelief seeing John's body covered in blood with him covered in bullet holes in fatal spots.

Stan wanted to vomit at the sight of his best friend's current state. He couldn't move, or look away, not even saying a word. A hand was placed on his shoulders revealing it to be Dick. “Stan… I'm sorry but… Sanders… John is dead,” He said.

Stan didn't say anything or turn to look at Dick. He just stared at John's lifeless body as a tear leaves his right eye. John Sanders, his best friend, is now dead.

Chapter Text

Once the agent's made it back to the CIA they were all getting patched in the medic bay with Stan being the most quiet one there. Dick, Jackson, and Hooper couldn't help but to worry about him. Usually he would crack a joke or brag that he killed the most enemies but not hearing anything from him was enough to make them worry especially after he saw his best friend's dead body.

Bullock came into the room to congratulate the agent's for their success on the mission and surviving the ambush. Which made Stan more depressed feeling guilty not being by John's side when the ambush happened.

“I should have been there, why wasn't I there? Why did we split up on that mission,” Stan questioned himself. He soon felt a hand on his shoulder and looked to see Bullock looking at him.

“Smith I've heard about what happened and you have my fullest apology about that incident. If I had known our enemies were still in the area I wouldn't have sent you all on that mission,” Bullock said looking sincere.

Stan didn't say anything which made his friends worry about him even more. Jackson then got up from his bed and walked towards the two. “Stan… are you alright?” He asked. Stan still didn't respond as he just looked at Jackson then back to the floor this time making Bullock worry.

“Smith, I think you should take a few days off from work to recover from this,” Bullock suggested, still a bit saddened.

“Ok…,” Stan finally spoke, he was still torn up about what happened but even he knows that he's not ok from what he saw.

After work Stan was given a ride home by Dick due to his right arm being in a cast healing from the bullet wounds. Bullock even gave Stan half of John's stuff including one of his spare suits. Dick worried , decided to check on Stan one last time. “He was very important to you wasn't he?” He asked.

Stan nodded his head still looking down. “He changed my outlook on life… Showed me how to relax… Even volunteering to help me with my past traumas,” He informed Dick. Hearing this Dick understands why Stan was depressed about losing John, he was the one that made Stan learn from his mistakes and slowly changed him.

Dick pulled up to Stan's house and watched as Stan left the car slowly carrying John's stuff in his left arm. Dick got out of Stan's car and helped him get inside his house. “Thank you,” Stan said quietly before he closed the door.

“Guess I should take the bus home then,” Dick said to himself walking off towards the bus stop.

Back with Stan he was in his trophy room putting John's stuff on display next to Brett Morris display cabinet. After he was done he slowly stepped back and looked at John's display cabinet fully. While looking at his best friend's suit he flashbacks back to times he spent with him the good and bad memories as he slowly began dropping to his knees crying knowing that he will never see him. “I should have been there, I could have saved you, It's my fault you're gone,” He sobbed.

(Flashback)

Stan stood outside the CIA headquarters taking deep breaths. “Alright Stan you graduated from the academy and are now about to enter the big leagues you gotta make a good first impression and act serious,” He said to himself.

Stan walked towards the entrance and took one last breath before walking inside. He walked inside looking serious while also looking around the place and was surprised to see some of the agents were having a bit of fun.

“I guess the CIA aren't that serious when it comes to working,” Stan said to himself as he continued walking. As Stan approached his new boss's office he heard a voice yell out to him. “Heads up,” Stan turned around and saw a football approaching him at a high speed. Stan quickly catches it with both hands and sighed in relief, also getting a few applause in the process.

“Nice catch rookie, aah see ya're one of the graduates,” A man wearing a gray suit and a blue tie approached him. Stan gave the football back to the man and tried to walk away but the man placed a hand on his right shoulder and stopped him.

“Hey wait there rookie I can tell your pretty serious about work and let me tell you something Bullock doesn't like people who are serious all the time,” The man said.

Stan turned around and looked at him. “Really? I don't want to make a bad first impression on the first day. Thank you for the warning what's your name?,” He asked.

“Sanders, John Sanders,” The man replied, extending his hand out.

“Stan Smith, pleasure to meet you John,” Stan said, shaking his hand.

“Just call me Sanders for now and remember to put a smile on Bullock's face if you want to stay here he may be harsh but if you can show him that you can have fun at work he will accept you,” John informed.

“Got it thank you Sanders, hope I get to see you around work if I'm hired,” Stan said.

“I hope you get hired too. It would be a shame if I had to kill you if he rejected you,” John said.

Stan looked worried at the thought of being killed for failing to please his new boss but he did have CIA training and it could fall into the wrong hands so there's that. Stan’s thoughts were interrupted when John started laughing. “Just messing with yah, you should have seen the look on your face, it was priceless,” He said.

Stan sighed in relief and laughed a bit. John seemed to be a free spirited person and would be the guy to make others laugh. For some reason Stan couldn't help but to smile at him. “Well I should go see Director Bullock before I'm late, see you when I get back Sanders,” He said as he walked towards Bullock's office with new found confidence.

Chapter Text

Francine paced around back and forth around the living room, Stan came home hours ago and hasn't come out of his studies since he got back, all she could hear was Stan sobbing and blaming himself for what happened. Francine decided to call Stan's coworkers to ask them what happened and they informed them that they were coming in person to explain Stan's strange behavior.

Francie paced around in the living back and forth worried about Stan thinking of the worse. He was too quiet to be alright and he would usually talk to her about his problems. Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door.

Francine took a breath before she went and opened the door ready for the bad news. When she opened the door she saw Dick and Jackson at the door with a sad expression on their faces.

“Hey Francine, we got your call mind if we come in?” Jackson asked. “Sure come in please tell me what's wrong with my husband,” Francine replied letting the two in.

The three sat on the couch. Both Jackson and Dick were still struggling to tell her what happened but seeing the worry look on Francine's face they had to tell her. Jackson and Dick looked at each other before looking back at her. Jackson decided to break the silence and tell her everything.

“Francine… the reason why Stan is depressed is because… John Sanders died,” Jackson said sadly.

“He was Stan's best friend after his other one… and he was our friend too when he died we were devastated but it hurts Stan the most,” Dick sadly explained.

“John's dead? So that's why he's depressed or hasn't come down. Can you two try and talk to him?” Francine asked.

The two looked at each other before looking back at her. “We'll try but only if you're there we're still grieving about him too and might make things worse,” Jackson informed.

“Alright I'll show you where he is,” Francine said. She led both Dick and Jackson upstairs to Stan's trophy room and knocked on the door. “Stan, can I come in? I got some people who wanted to talk to you,”

The three water for Stan to answer the door but all they heard was a groan from him. Francine then opened the door and the three walked in. The room was pretty dark and the lights were dim. As they kept walking they eventually see Stan on the floor staring at the ceiling next to Brett and John's display case.

both Jackson and Dick looked at John's display case and felt their hearts sank as a tear fell from their eyes. Seeing John's stuff like that was a reminder that he was gone and never coming back. All those good times, all those bad times, and every other moment they spent with him were long gone now.

Dick was once again frozen and couldn't say anything but Jackson was emotionally stronger than him and moved towards Stan kneeling down besides him. “S-Stan, are holding up ok?,” He asked.

Stan just looked at him, unable to say anything towards him. Jackson never seen Stan like this before, he looked broken and speechless. “Me and Dick came to check on you. Your wife was worried about you. I know how your feel but you can't stay like this forever… John wouldn't want to see you like this he'd be upset if he saw you like this,”

“How can I smile… I failed to save him… I should have been there, I should have been by his side,” Stan finally spoke. “I wasn't meant to have friends if their just gonna die or use you, I might as well be a curse to those close to me,”

“But what about Dick and Jackson? What about us? Stan if you think that you're cursed then why are we still here? John was your close friend I know but just because he died being close friends with you doesn't mean everyone close to you will die,” Francine said.

Stan didn't respond, he just turned away from them like they didn't matter which made the three of them worry more about him. They decided to leave the room, giving Stan some time to himself.

“Were we too late? Is he too far gone?” Dick asked, he had a worried expression on his face.

“I don't know but it looks like we're not gonna get through to him easily if he's shutting us out,” Jackon said.

“Maybe we should do an intervention that might work. We just need to put him around people who can relate to him,” Francine suggested.

“I think that could work and I know a few people who can relate,” Dick said.

“Are you one of them?” Jackson asked.

“Well yeah but I do know a few others trust me if anyone knows emotional pain it's me,” Dick said.

“Alright but you better have a good number of people Dick the more time we wait the farther Stan is from us,” Francine said.

“I promise I won't let you guys down,” Dick said.

Flashback

Stan was setting up in his new office smiling to himself that he got the job. It was a bit strange to him but he was too happy to care.

"I see you done got the job, good job Stan,” A voice said. Stan turned around and saw John walking towards him.

“Yeah, I did. I thought I wasn't going to make it, but I did something to get Director Bullock to be interested in me and gave me the job,” Stan informed.

"Oh, did Bullock hire y'all when ya bent over in front of him or somethin'?” John asked, a bit concerned.

“Y-Yeah, how do you know?” Stan asked, a bit surprised.

“One thing I plumb forgot to mention is that Bullock's got another way of bringin' in new folks... and it seems like he's got a soft spot for your hindquarters,” John informed. “He mostly does it to women but I guess you were an exception to him,”

“Oh, So he didn't find me appealing then?” Stan asked sadly.

“Hey now, don't you frettin' none 'cause you're with us and that's all that matters. And if it'll make you feel better, we can go grab us some ice cream later,” John said.

“Yeah I guess that would make me feel better, thanks for being friendly towards me that rarely happens to me,” Stan informed with a weak smile.

“No problem, Stan. I'm always happy to lend a hand to someone new 'round here,” John said. After the two finished talking John walked away giving Stan time to himself. A friend it's been forever since he had one of those feels nice to have one even if it won't last long.