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Uraraka didn’t use social media much. She wasn’t like Denki, who you could probably make a fairly accurate movie of his everyday life simply by compiling all of his Tiktoks into some 40 hour long monstrosity.
But she still had downloaded Tumblr. At the time, she’d hoped to maybe be able to use it to understand what Mina was saying, but that had turned out to be a hopeless case. Besides, the more she understood of what Mina said, the more she wished she hadn’t learned Japanese.
But she still kept Tumblr. Just to check it every once and a while.
That’s how she saw the first post.
bloodygirlgutz
My roommate is trying to write his resume and its going great. Actual conversation I just heard-
Mom: alright, any special skills you’d want a potential employer to know about?
Roomate: does zelda lore knowledge count?
Uraraka snorted, and liked the post, following the blog and deciding she’d show it to Midoriya with a teasing aside about his notebooks thrown in later.
That should have been the end of it.
It wasn’t.
——————
The second post came about a week later.
bloodygirlgutz
living with roommates
expectation: dividing up chores, cooking together, decorating the house to match each of ur personalities, movie nights
reality: “id rather be stabbed then have to do the dishes”, takeout 5 nights a week bc no one trusts each other with the stove, “if you move the couch again i will literally break your ribs”, movie nights
Uraraka choked, thrusting out her phone to Tsuyu, who was sitting beside her. “This is literally what the U.A dorms are like, oh my god.”
Tsuyu looked at it, then let out an amused ribbit. “Yeah, that checks out, kero. Do you think they go here?”
Uraraka shrugged. “Maybe. I could send in an ask.”
“Go ahead,” Tsuyu said, watching over her friend’s shoulder as Uraraka typed out a short message- Do you go to boarding school?? It was innocuous enough not to reveal her identity, but would give them a clue as to whether this was one of their classmates.
When it was answered two hours later, Uraraka nearly dropped her phone in shock, calling over Tsuyu in excitement. “Tsu! We got a reply!”
“What’s going on?” Jirou asked, raising an eyebrow and pausing her music. “Ochaco found a funny Tumblr blog, kero,” Tsuyu explained, tongue darting from between her lips.
Jirou leaned over, reading along with them-
bloodygirlgutz
nope! just a little place together :33 my family kicked me out so mom took me in <3 thats pretty much the case for the rest too lol
—
“Oh my god, that’s adorable,” Ochaco said, swooning.
“I have no idea who Mom is, but can she please adopt me?” Mina begged, having also come over to see what the fuss was all about.
“There’s another post beneath it, guys,” Jirou said, pointing. The girls turned to look.
bloodygirlgutz
♡ meet the squad!!!! ♡
every friend group got the-
mom friend (mom) - they/it
sin: none (it has done nothing wrong)
toxic trait: enabler lmao
gamer (dusty) - he/they
sin: pride
toxic trait: having literally every toxic trait
pyromaniac (ash) - he/him
sin: wrath
toxic trait: daddy issues
theatre kid (houdini) - he/they
sin: greed
toxic trait: alcoholic
mentally ill (jekyll) - he/him
sin: envy
toxic trait: flat earther
cant drive (geico bc he needs car insurance asap) - he/him
sin: sloth
toxic trait: convinced he has no toxic traits
the hot one (me <3)- she/her
sin: gluttony
toxic trait: none xoxo
—
“Oh my god, we have names now,” Jirou said, gasping. Ochaco laughed. “Jekyll is my new spirit animal, guys.”
“Are we sure Ash isn’t just Todoroki in a trenchcoat?” Tsuyu asked, and Mina gaped. “Tsu! You can’t just-“
“So you DON’T think Todoroki is a pyromaniac with daddy issues, is what you’re saying,” Jirou asked flatly, and Mina sputtered some more.
“What’s the blogs name again?” Tsuyu asked, pulling out her phone. “I wanna follow them.”
Ochaco held out her phone, and a few minutes later, everyone had notifications on for posts from bloodygirlgutz.
“Why are we doing this, again?” Jirou asked, shaking her head.
“Because we’re invested, Jirou,” Mina responded. “And because I need their Mom to adopt me.”
And that was answer enough.
——————
bloodygirlgutz
roommate responses to me asking if they respect women:
mom: yes.
dusty: no
ash: i don’t respect anyone
houdini: of course!
jekyll: yes but i fucking hate women
geico: yeah, but women don’t respect me
——
The girls were all giggling over the latest post a week later, when the boys finally took notice. “What are they doing?” Denki asked, confused.
“No clue. Don’t care,” Bakugo growled, not sparing them much of a second glance.
“They look like they’re plotting something,” Sero observed, and Denki shuddered. “Oh god.”
After a bit more debate, they finally went to Shinsou, who was sitting by the wall. “What?” the purple haired brainwasher said, looking up tiredly.
“We need you to go see what the girls are doing,” Sero burst, peering at him. Shinsou sighed, rubbing at their eyes. “Why? Cant one of you do it?”
“We’re guys,” Denki pointed out. “We need a neutral third party.”He gestured halfhazardly towards the nonbinary flag pinned to Shinsou’s backpack.
Shinsou put their head in their hands. “Fine.”
The boys cheered, pulling Shinsou off the floor and pushing them towards the gaggle of girls talking. Shinsou padded over miserably, waiting for the others to notice them.
“Ack!” Mina yelped, when she turned to find herself face to face with purple eyes and a shock of hair that could rival a teenage Mic’s. “Hitoshi!”
“What are you guys laughing at. I can hear you from all the way across the room,” Shinsou grumbled, hands shoved into their pockets.
“Oh my god,” Jirou’s eyes lit up. “Come over here- we need to introduce you to the Gutz Gang.”
“Guts?” Shinsou raised an eyebrow.
“Bloodygirlgutz. It’s a Tumblr blog run by a girl who lives with a bunch of people in a chaotic found family situation, and she posts about all the drama that goes down. Its amazing,” Ochaco gushed.
Shinsou read the post they were looking at.
bloodygirlgutz
ash and dusty are in another screaming match and i just heard dusty call him a cabbage patch bitch the homosexual tension is so thick i could cut it with a knife
Shinsou snorted. “Bakugo and Kirishima, much?”
Mina choked. “Oh my god. Hang on, I’m texting that to Denki.” She pulled out her phone and started typing. Jirou rolled her eyes.
“What’s the name of the blog again?” Shinsou asked, and proceeded to pull out their own phone to follow it. After that, the girls decided the purple haired insomniac was officially part of the “Gutz Gang” fan club, and therefore was also allowed into their group chat.
Shinsou, who didn’t pay attention to any of the group chats they were already in, shrugged, and unenthusiastically accepted the Discord invite while the girls squealed.
Denki now stood amongst their ranks, having witnessed Shinsou’s lack of fatal injuries or horrified screams, and decided that he probably was safe. He still wasn’t sure what was going on, but that was about par for the course.
That’s how the Gutz Club (as they named the chat) gained two more members, and became a certified Thing.
——
bloodygirlgutz
i just walked in on ash holding a flaming piece of broccoli on a clotheshanger over the sink and when asked, told me with a straight face that it was “bbq night”.
allfloaton
oh my god dying.
did anyone eat it??
bloodygirlgutz
houdini tried a bite after jekyll and i dared him to. he hasnt woken up. 🥰😱
allfloaton
oh my god 🫢
sheplaysbass
lmaooooo
——
Out of all the people they thought would be the next to join, the Gutz Club would not have put their money on Todoroki.
But that was what happened. He walked over to where Ochaco, Iida, and Midoriya were sitting, and leaned over his bubbly brown haired classmates shoulder, seeming once again unaware of concepts like personal space. “You’re laughing. What’s funny.”
Uraraka tried to nicely push him away, which really was just violently elbowing him in the ribs. Todoroki let out a soft, “Ow.”, but still looked to be waiting for an answer.
Uraraka sighed. “Me and the girls found a really funny tumblr blog. It’s run by a girl who lives with a bunch of weirdo roommates and goes on all sorts of funny adventures with them.”
Todoroki’s eyes widened a fraction, and he tilted his head. “Show me.”
She scrolled, and then tilted to screen towards him, letting the most recent post show.
bloodygirlgutz
update: the exorcism went well, and we officially can now say that ash is probably NOT possessed by a demon!! <3 :( but the bendadryl wore off before we could finish and he woke up still tied to the stake so now he angy ;-;
Todoroki blinked slowly. “Who is Ash.”
“One of the roommates. He hates everything and might be gay for dusty, but recently Gutz said they’ve had a new guy coming over who might pose some competition,” Ochaco wiggled her eyebrows, smirking. “Do you have tumblr?”
“Yes,” Todoroki said, and everyone listening felt a shiver run through them. Uraraka had mostly meant it as just a way of closing up the conversation, but now she had to face the reality of Shoto Todoroki’s Tumblr page, a reality that never had really crossed her mind until now.
The idea of their half-n-half friend on any social media platform, with unfiltered access to the strange and delusional masses was… terrifying.
She didn’t say anything more, which made Todoroki look confused, but he quickly moved on.
Midoriya got a thoughtful look. “Hang on… Ash and… Dusty?”
Ochaco nodded. “There’s SO much drama there,” she chirped, having taken his question to be an inquiry into the possible romance she’d hinted at, and not the names themselves. “Gutz and Jekyll are besties, and Jekyll might be in love with her, but Gutz has a crush on another girl- I think from school? That, and-“ she stopped, realising Midoriya was now muttering.
Todoroki finally broke his silence.
“I think it’s a government run social experiment.”
The whole table turned to stare at him, speechless. Todoroki slurped at his soba.
“What,” said Uraraka carefully, “The fuck?”
Todoroki took another second, before answering. “Are you really that stupid? It’s obvious. These aren’t real people. They’re fake identities created to gauge human responses to certain topics and situations over social media versus in real life.”
Midoriya blinked, mouth falling open. “Why does that… why does that make sense?” he asked slowly.
“Because I’m right,” Todoroki slurped his noodles.
Uraraka glared at everyone at the table - because no one here was innocent - and hissed. “You aren’t seriously indulging him.”
“I’m not!” Izuku yelped, going red. “I just think he has a good point! People react a lot differently to things said online versus in real life. There’s a level of suspension of disbelief you have to apply to it, which makes it easier for people to joke and talk about absurd or illegal things without provoking reactions that would…”
And he was muttering again.
“You’re cute when you mutter,” Todoroki observed softly after a moment, and Midoriya flushed, letting out a startled gasp, before covering his face. “I-“ he choked out. “Oh! T-thank you!”
Ochaco gaped, trying to figure out if they’d really gotten to the point of flirting with the enemy. (“The Enemy” being Todoroki Shoto)
Todoroki slurped his noodles.
——-
bloodygirlgutz
with colonel sanders representing lust, the seven cardinal sins have now been collected, and the ritual can begin. prepare.
——-
The group was split into two, arguing over the table - with Uraraka on the table, so she could be in range to fight anyone if need be, and Iida there to keep her from trying.
“Ash and Dusty are literally goals,” Mina said, narrowing her eyes and scowling. Denki nodded emphatically. “Yeah! They are!”
“Idiot,” Jirou scoffed. “They don’t even get along.”
“That’s what makes it so good!” Hagakure whined, and Mina gestured in agreement. “Exactly!”
“But Colonel Sanders actually seems to like Ash, kero,” Tsuyu pointed out. “It just seems like they have more in common.”
“Yeah!” Denki nodded agressively, face determined. Jirou gave him a look.
“Both of you shut up, you damn nerds!” Everyone froze as Bakguo Katsuki stormed up, arms crossed. “Both are stupid. The only goddamn person in that house who deserves some shitty romance is Mom.”
Mina’s mouth dropped open, and Hagakure gasped. Ochaco turned around so fast she whipped Iida with her hair. “You FOLLOW THEM?”
“Of course I do!” Bakugo roared, glaring. “You loudmouth fucks wont shut up about it!”
There was a long pause. Then Jirou whipped out her phone, quickly swiping to something. “Bakugo. What’s your discord user? We need your input on some things.”
——-
bloodygirlgutz
if ash and sanders don’t kiss soon im about to get super silly 🤪🔪
thefrogthatturnedgay
do you have a knife
bloodygirlgutz
<3 yes
allfloaton
yknow what…. slay.
bloodygirlgutz
i will ;)
sheplaysbass
oh god
——
“Oh. My. God,” Jirou stared at her phone, while the rest of the squad’s heads snapped up. “What?!” Uraraka asked, already jumping up to peer over the girl’s shoulder. “What is it?”
“Sanders just called Ash hot stuff. I think Gutz’s ship just left the harbor,” Jirou said, and Ochaco screamed, leaping back and covering her mouth in glee. “I KNEW IT! YES!” She pumped a fist in the air, triumphant.
Meanwhile, Mina cried out in despair. “But- but what about Ash and Dusty?? My OTP?! I thought they were going to get together!”
Shinsou wrinkled their nose. “How do you do this without feeling stupid? You don’t even know these people. You dont know their names, what they look like, any of that. You’re literally just taking the word of some random girl on tumblr.”
Mina and Ochaco both glared. “I’ve talked to Gutz! I’d trust her with my life,” Ochaco swore, crossing her arms defensively.
“And I don’t need to know them to understand the truth, Toshi!” Mina exclaimed. “I can feel it through the screen! The tension! The power! It’s REAL.”
Shinsou rolled their eyes, sighing. “Whatever.”
“Don’t listen to them,” Todoroki said, having somehow appeared behind them during the conversation. “They’re all just part of the experiment. They’re nothing but variables. Midoriya and I are the only ones who still have our will.”
Jirou squinted, processed this, groaned, and turned to leave. “Nope. Not dealing with this.”
“The-“ Denki’s mouth dropped open, being much more susceptible to the power of words like “experiment” and “will”. “What’s a variable?” he finally asked, in a hushed voice.
A beat of silence rang out. Then Shinsou and Jirou made the collective decision to remove their bimbo from the room before he accidentally got brainwashed into whatever fucked up reality Todoroki was living in, and was apparently dragging Midoriya into too.
“I’m right, by the way!” Mina yelled after them. “Colonel Sanders is a pussy! Ash and Dust FOREVER!!” Jirou and Shinsou ignored her, probably for the best.
“Hang on-“ Midoriya interrupted, before they could leave. “Colonel… Sanders? Like… the KFC mascot?” His face took on a vaguely ill sheen, and he began muttering.
“Don’t worry about it, Midoriya,” Todoroki said in a tone that sounded soothing to Izuku, and vaguely ominous to everyone else. “They just don’t get it.”
——-
bloodygirlgutz
gottem
[image: a blurry, poorly lit photo set of two people, a blonde man wearing a red blanket over his shoulders, and a man with dark hair, sitting on a couch together. In the first one, the two are at opposite ends, looking at eachother hesitantly. In the second, the blond leans over, one hand cupping the others face as they lean in for a kiss]
——-
They were brushing their teeth in the shared dorm bathroom when Ochaco suddenly dropped her phone and screamed. Jirou spun around, spitting out her toothpaste and pinning her with a look. “What?! What the hell is wrong?”
Ochaco just shook her head, picking up the phone and sliding it across the counter with a shaking hand.
Jirou looked. Processed. Then shrieked.
Two seconds later, both girls burst outside, waving the phone in the air. “MOMO! TSU! DENKI! IT HAPPENED! ASH- AND-“
Within a few minutes, the common area was filled with shrieks, whistles, whines and shouts of mixed emotion as they reveled in the news. Jirou had whipped out her drawing tablet, already drawing a unblurry version of the couple - the blog’s first fan art, it seemed - while Tsu watched.
Those who hadn’t been in it from the start hovered on the edges, vaguely confused. Midoriya and Shouto sat together on the side, Midoriya’s lips parted as he did a rather good impression of a piece of broccoli going into septic shock.
Shouto shook his head slowly.
“It’s over for us, Izu. The government won. Those fuckers are all doomed,” he sighed, looking at the ground. “Will you run away to live in the woods with me, when society collapses? We can move in with the Fae, and sacrifice our names to get married in the Seelie court.”
Midoriya just stared on, comatose as his brain tried to finally click everything into place.
——-
bloodygirlgutz
people always think im a serial killer because i know how to get blood stains out so well lmao. like no i just have periods sorry guys. oh they also think so because of all the killings, but thats off topic <3
Toga shut her phone off, spinning around in her chair a few times, before leaning back and looking at the ceiling. A crash sounded, and Compress screamed from the next room, followed by a shout from Spinner that seemed aimed at Shigaraki. Shigaraki said something back that apparently was not an apology (or anything close to one, judging by the amount of curse words Toga could make out), and another bickering row broke out within an instant.
She smiled, as a notification popped up, showing Allfloaton had liked the post. It was so cute, the way people had seemed to take some sort of small interest in her life. She wished she could meet them in real life, and make them bleed so they knew how much she loved them.
Toga hoped they might stick around. She knew she wasn’t super interesting or important, and in the long run, her blog was just mostly for her, but she liked to imagine that maybe they would come to think of her as a friend.
Even if it was just a social experiment, really.
——