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English
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Published:
2024-03-04
Updated:
2025-01-04
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1,667
Chapters:
2/?
Comments:
39
Kudos:
79
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Playtime’s Playcare or Hell’s Hotel

Summary:

Hell, it’s known as the bad afterlife, it could have a different name based on your beliefs, it’s the place you don’t want to end up in. At first, CatNap thought of the factory as hell, but then again his God, the Prototype, is in the factory, so wouldn’t thinking of Playtime Co. as being Hell be considered blasphemy?

Instead? of joining the Prototype's hivemind, CatNap goes to Hell, specifically the Hellaverse.
Takes place after CatNap’s death, in his perspective.

Thanks to THEBIGGESTSHOTINTOWN for giving me this opportunity!

Notes:

Based on THEBIGGESTSHOTINTOWN's notes, but with slight tweaks (as you'll see later on)

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: I sit down at the edge of your bed, and you laugh at me

Summary:

The big baddie of Poppy Playtime Chapter 3: Deep Sleep, Catnap, goes to hell. Probably due to commiting several major oopsie daisies, and thereby causing the deaths of many.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Poppy’s so-called “angel” is close now, so very close. Catnap can almost feel their flesh beneath his claws, ripping and tearing it apart. He pounces, and just too late, he sees what the “angels’” grabpack is equipped with. An electrified green grabpack hand. Although they’ve been keeping him away by lightly zapping him for a while now, this time it’s different. Catnap doesn’t know why, he can just feel that it’s different.

 

Poppy’s “angel” just hit the ground when he came down from above. c̵̫͇͕̝̹͎̓ͅa̷̭̟͆͆͛̾Theon̶̢̥̱͠ą̴̮̤̹̉̍ͅp̴̧̧͔̳̪̞̣̟͉͑́̉̀̀ remembers this, the hurt, the feeling of flesh burning from the electric shock. The memories are so vivid, he can feel the exact sensations right now. Too vivid. Catnap then realises the “angel” had launched their green, electric hand- right his way. That’s why it hurts. THAT’S WHY IT HURTS. THAT’S- he released his poppy gas accidentally, the shock numbed his control over the mechanics. It catches on fire, he catches on fire. He burns.

 

For a while, he burns. For a while, it’s only been seconds though? A light shines down and the Prototype’s metallic, skeleton-like hand extends down from above. He both relishes in his God’s holy light, and cowers in fear from his judgement.

Catnap has been offered a place in the Prototype’s paradise, so he offers himself up, embracing his encroaching end.

Hell, it’s known as the bad afterlife, it could have a different name based on your beliefs, it’s the place you don’t want to end up in. At first, Catnap thought of the factory as hell, but then again his God, the Prototype, is in the factory, so wouldn’t thinking of Playtime Co. as being Hell be considered blasphemy? On top of that, it’s the only place he can remember, the only place where he’s found Joy. True Joy, found through a bloody massacre. Catnap enjoyed every second of it, they deserved it after all. They made him this way, they made them all this way. This wasn’t just Joy, it was Justice. Everything he did during The Hour of Joy, was just, fairer than fair. It was overdue.

 

In Catnap’s last moments he felt rejoice, he thought he’d become a part of his God! He thought his God would free him by letting Catnap join his God’s in body and in spirit. He'd finally be able to feel eternal Joy. Catnap thought he would see everyone he’d either lost or killed in the name of his God.

 

Now Catnap’s here, in Hell. It.. isn’t much different from the factory. Is he free? Is this freedom? Is this the freedom he sought? Is it even truly freedom without his God? Can he make it without The Prototype? He isn’t alone, at least. He’s hungry, and there’s a big feast waiting for him.

In the middle of this “Pentagram City” as he’s learned it’s called, there’s a tall clocktower. This clocktower has a countdown on it. As Catnap’s looking at the clocktower, this countdown rapidly decreases from 365 to 176. He assumes that it’s a bad thing, based on all the screams.

Catnap walks around for a bit, but it's only.after a long while that he realises that he's smaller than he should be. Either that or everything is big in Hell. He doesn't know, and neither does he care…

.. Or perhaps he does, as the first thing he does after his discovery is find a puddle. The liquid in it, which is decidedly NOT water, is at rest, making it pretty reflective.

The sight that greets Catnap was.. unsettling? Surprising? He doesn't really know what he should feel about seeing the Catnap from the promotional cartoons smile back at him. He's, well he's weirded out, to put it bluntly.

The next thing Catnap noticed is the cartoonish cat’s face contorting into a more confused expression. It feels weird, wrong, in a way. He’s been stuck with that disturbing smile for so many years, that any other expression is a foreign concept. His face was twisting and tangling in ways it, by all means, shouldn’t be able to. Not since 1990. Not since his trip to the doctor’s.

He’s frowning, his eyebrows furrowed. The memories hurt, but there are no tears to speak of, his face has up to this point never made a more neutral expression. The scalpel, the digging, the sewing, it all hurt, but Catnap finds that he’s hurt worse. The ripping, the torturing, the c-... the cannibalising. And it all comes back like a twisted, absolutely fucked up fever dream. The toys he’s eaten, they were just like him. They were just like him and he ate them still. But what was he supposed to do? Starve? He didn’t have a choice, he was doomed the moment he was taken to the Playcare… But he did have a choice, he himself chose to partake in the Hour. Catnap doesn’t regret that decision.

He then made the decision to keep smiling, only for his God. Even if 1006 would never see it, Catnap will keep smiling.

Notes:

As of the 19th of July this is the last update to this chapter where I will add new paragraphs. (will prolly come back for spell checks tho)

Chapter 2: DSRM.REPORT.2005.KNOTTED.SOUL

Summary:

I wonder why it took so long for Catnap to manifest in Hell? Let's see... there it is! The surveilence cameras of when
00110011 00110101 00110111 00110011 00101101 00110010 00110101 00110110 00110111
entered Hell's Department of Registration and Metamorphosis.

Notes:

If you read chapter 1 all the way back when i first released it, I'd recommend checking it out again, as it has gone through massive changes since i first released what was basically just a draft.

I really didn't intend to wait this long with an update, I've just been too much in and out of both fandoms to sit down and write. I've also got a nephew, a little sister, I've stopped on boarding school, had covid, been to my dads wedding (viking themed, it was very cool), I've begun gymnasium, I think that would be equivalent to high-school(?), been to my nephew and little sisters baptism and name giving ceremony respectively, been making friends, been maintaining both new and old friend groups, I also have DnD every once in a while, I helped my sister move out just two days ago (2/1/25. d/m/yy).

It's the fifth as I'm editing this, in five days it'll be the 10th.

And while that provides reason for why i haven't done it before now, I must admit it's mostly because i was scared, scared that chapter two wouldn't be good enouugh, that I couldn't get the characters right. And that kind fucks with your motivation, doesn't it?

So instead of trying the make the continual of chapter one, i decided i'd do something less consequential for the main plot, and also explain why it took so long for the big grumpy purple cat to spawn.

I wrote this chapter in five hours, though I have been mulling the details over for a while, but today after a sleepless night, and a search history that'll make me look religious and satanistic and the same time, I finally got chapter.. well it's kind of more of a chapter 0.5... but i still got it done!

The inclusion of Fritz, Hansi, and Günther was just a bit of a gag, a reference if you will, but i won't be adding The Julekalender to the Fandom tags, but I will for good order's sake include their dialogue translated fully from danglish to english in the end credits.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The Department of Sinner Registration and Metamorphosis, created by the command of King Lucifer Morningstar, headed by the three infernal judges; Minos, Aeacus, and Rhadamanthus, borne of Ancient Greek Mythology, employed in the Abrahamic Hell Services, cause they offered a better minimum wage.

As much as being a torrie sounds like a job worth working, being an administrator demon is truthfully a boring, loathful job. Most sinners are carbon-copies, with little to no deviation from the previous.

Fate dealt them a hand of fuck-ass cards, abusive families, shitty school experience, hell, that’s if they even went to school in the first place, you fucking name it, they’ve seen them, registered them, and sent them on their merry way. You’ve met one sinner? You’ve met fuckin’ all of them sad, murdery bastards.

They all had that one fucking day, that one day where everything became too much for their wimpy ass dogshit hearts, so they started shootin’, stabbin, poisinin’, whatever method of killin’ was most accessible to them.

Maybe they’d started out killing small defenseless little critters out of curiosity, found they liked it, got bored, started murdering other humans left and right. Maybe they were dragged into a life of crime by a friend or family member.

But in the end that shit only matters when the heavenly high-class mutts and their tone-deaf trumpet masters take one glance at their soul records, not even the fucking soul itself, and decide “bitch is too dirty for the mirror like glossy streets of high class dovefuckers (meant literally and figuratively, everyone and their hellhound knows heaven fucks more than hell, doesn’t mean they’re better at it though)”

And so the angelic jackasses “hand them over” (read: dump the cocooned souls) to the administrator demons to evaluate, register, and reform into an appropriate demonic form, before they ultimately enter their new “life” for, well, forever, until they get “exorcised” in a yearly extermination.

New sinners aren’t likely to survive their first extermination, well unless they sell their soul to a more experienced sinner.

So you could imagine the surprise of everyone in the demonic registration agency when an amalgamation of tangled up souls was carted into their shitshack of an office.

‘What in the carp fucking lasagna cheese is this shit.’ Janus, the intern, thinks, as he looks at the gordian knot that is these souls. ‘The one time I’m happy with bein’ an intern. I think I'll go get ‘em some coffee.’

He looks over to the trio who’s worked in the department only for a couple of hundred years less than the three infernal judges; Fritz, Hansi, and Günther (although somehow after some thousands of years, they still don’t speak English very well.) They’re, from what Janus can tell, arguing about which of them should take on The Great Tangle™, but he honestly can only understand about 60% of what they’re saying at any given time…

“We will have to binde it op very forsigtigtly.” Hansi said, from what Janus understands it seems that Hansi is making a plan for how to brush this very tangled hair out to be separate strands again. “Otherwise it kunne go in stykker.”

“Good idea, Hansi!” Fritz praised Hansi, but… “You kan go begynde on that now.”

“Why’s it always me who has to binde op the knuder-”

“Because you’re the one with the biggest tænder and the grimmest tøj, Hansi!”

Janus may not understand why Fritz’s argument is so compelling, but perhaps a few more years of working here will be enough time to understand them better. The argument- insult? seems to be effective though, as Hansi, although grumbling to himself about “træls” and other unknown words, has begun working on getting souls out of the metaphorical fishnet.

While the intern observes the three department veterans, the three department leaders are discussing what the cause for the souls’ entanglement could be.

“I don’t think we’ve had anything similar before, this shit might be a first. Damn” Rhadamanthus says. “Sure, some souls are stuck one or two others, but even that’s only seen at most every half-millenia.”

Minos nods, “From what I can judge there’s one soul there almost holding the others hostage…”

“They even left an angel eye, there might be souls in there Heaven wants to keep.”

“On my fuckin’ job, guys, I think I’ve read about something similar, fuckin’ hell!” Aeacus excitedly exclaims, “I think it might be a gods damned hivemind, I’d fuckin’ bet all my life savings on it!”

“You’re on, I’ll bet two thousand drachma on it being a shipwreck full of fascists that’s bein’ held together by the captain.” Rhadamantus places his bet as Minos just sighs, knowing he can do nothing from preventing this…

“Fuck it, I bet five hundred… no fifteen thousand drachma on it being some kind of cult, with the soul holding them together is the worshipped one.”

Minos is no better than the next man when it comes to gambling.

Notes:

I hope you enjoy this surprise update, BIGGESTSHOT, I know you didn't expect it, haha... and sorry for that, I didn't mean for it to take 10 years, heh...

Anyways; onto the translations!

“We'll have to detangle it very carefully (Direct translation; we will have to bind it up very carefully).” Hansi said, from what Janus understands it seems that Hansi is making a plan for how to brush this very tangled hair out to be separate strands again. “Otherwise it could break (Direct translation; it could go in pieces).”

“Good idea, Hansi!” Fritz praised Hansi, but… “You can go begin that now.”

“Why’s it always me who has to untangle the knots (Direct translation; why's it always me who has to bind up the knots) -”

“Because you’re the one with the biggest teeth and the ugliest clothes, Hansi!”

Janus may not understand why Fritz’s argument is so compelling, but perhaps a few more years of working here will be enough time to understand them better. The argument- insult? seems to be effective though, as Hansi, although grumbling to himself about “annoying (i don't think there's a direct translation for træls, it's kind of eugh put into a word, if that makes sense?)” and other unknown words, has begun working on getting souls out of the metaphorical fishnet.

I hope this finds you all well.

If you enjoyed please feel free comment, that helps me know people are reading, since it sends me a notification, which kudos doesnt, though kudos is still nice, so if you want to, you can do that too. If you at some point it gets a bit hard to read, because of weird syntax it not just your interest, mind you, please feel free to point it out in the comments with a friendly constructive tone.

Good evening everyone. Oh! And in case I don't see you, goodnight, good morning, and good afternoon!

Maybe I'll look back on this in 10 years and laugh, I hope I will.

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Notes:

This isn't my first fanfic, but it's the first one I'm really taking seriously. I want to complete this story, not just for my own sake, but for BIGGESTSHOT too.

The updates will be slow, and there may be mistakes as I have school and English is not my first language (so if theres any mistakes pls say so)