Archive of Our Own ^beta

When Loki wakes up, she immediately notices that something’s different. It only takes her a moment to realize what it is. She’s woken up feeling decidedly feminine today.

Normally, that wouldn’t be a problem. She’d just switch to her female form and go about her day as usual. But now that she’s in a relationship with Bruce, things are different. She hasn’t been in her female form around Bruce before, and she’s worried about how he’ll react, especially since they’re dating. Will he not want to be with her anymore because she’s not currently a man? Will he get annoyed that she’s changed genders?

Loki doesn’t think he will, but she’s been wrong about people before. Just because she thinks Bruce will be alright with it doesn’t mean he will be. Loki bites her bottom lip nervously, worrying it between her teeth as she glances beside her. Bruce is lying on the bed next to her, still asleep. There’s a peaceful expression on his face.

Loki doesn’t want to disturb that peace. She’ll just stay in her male form today, she decides. And hopefully, she’ll be back to feeling male tomorrow. It’s only one day.

How hard can it be?

It’s very hard.

Loki remembers having to hide her gender during her childhood in Asgard, but she always managed to sneak away and change forms for at least a few minutes to relieve the discomfort of being in the wrong body. 

But when she’s living with Bruce, in their house that’s much smaller than Asgard’s palace, there’s not a lot of places to sneak off to. So now, Loki is forced to stay in her male form, and it hurts.

Her entire body feels tight, like she’s trapped in a skin-tight bodysuit that’s too small for her. Her skin prickles, and she can’t stop fidgeting. She can’t shake the feeling of wrongness that comes from being in a body that doesn’t match her current gender.

Loki squirms in her chair at the dining room table, where she and Bruce are currently eating dinner. She tries to focus on the plate of food sitting on the table in front of her, but it’s difficult. She can barely keep herself from scratching her arms, the itchy tingling under her skin growing in intensity with every second that passes.

Bruce, being the wonderful person that he is, quickly notices. “Loki?” he asks, his brow creased with concern. “Are you okay?”

Loki forces herself to keep still. “I’m fine,” she says, plastering a smile onto her face. 

Bruce doesn’t look convinced. “Are you sure? You…don’t really look okay.”

Loki’s smile dims, and she looks down at the table. She doesn’t answer. Bruce’s expression softens, and he moves closer, sliding his chair towards Loki. “I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me, sweetheart,” he says quietly.

He reaches out, but stops just before touching Loki, his hand hovering over Loki’s arm. “Can I touch you?” he asks. Loki nods stiffly after a moment, and Bruce sets his hand on Loki’s arm, giving it a comforting squeeze.

His touch is like a soothing balm on her skin, alleviating some of the prickliness that’s spread over her entire body. Loki sighs softly, letting her eyes fall closed. “Alright, fine,” she admits. “There is…something.”



She bites her lip again, pressing her teeth into it until she tastes blood. She doesn’t know where to start. She’s so worried that Bruce will react badly, and she doesn’t want to risk that. Doesn’t want to lose him.

Bruce makes a soft distressed sound and reaches up, touching his finger to her lips. “Don’t do that,” he murmurs. “You’ll hurt yourself.”

Loki releases her bottom lip and glances over at him, feeling a rush of affection swell up inside her. She loves him. She loves him so much it hurts, and suddenly, she realizes that she wants to share this part of herself with him.

She straightens up in her chair and takes a deep breath. “Bruce, I…I need to tell you something.”

Bruce’s eyes widen slightly, but his hand doesn’t leave Loki’s arm. “What is it?”

Loki closes her eyes and concentrates, and in less than a second, the change is done. She opens her eyes and breathes out, savoring the feeling of rightness. It feels so good to finally be in the correct form after an entire day of hiding herself. 

She looks over at Bruce. “This is who I am,” Loki says. “Some of the time, anyway. But…this is me right now.” She frowns nervously as she waits for Bruce to speak. “What do you think?”

Bruce is staring at her with an awestruck expression, his mouth hanging open slightly as he looks at her changed body. “You…you’re beautiful,” he breathes. He looks back up at her face. “I love you. For everything you are. All of it. All of you.”

Loki tries to hold back her tears, she really does. But despite her best efforts, they come out anyway, sliding down her cheeks as she processes Bruce’s reaction. How did she end up with such an amazing partner? “O-Oh,” she manages to choke out. 

Bruce lifts a hand and gently wipes away her tears with his thumb. “What’s wrong?” he asks.

Loki shakes her head. “Nothing’s wrong,” she says, trying to stop more tears from leaving her eyes. “I just…thank you.”

Bruce smiles softly. “You’re welcome,” he replies. “I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t tell me.”

Loki sniffles, trying to get control of her emotions. “Thank you,” she repeats, her voice a whisper.

Bruce wipes away another tear as it rolls down her cheek. “Can I hug you?” he asks. Loki nods, and Bruce leans forward, wrapping her in a warm embrace. His arms surround her, holding her tightly as she rests her head on his shoulder and hugs him back. Loki sighs quietly as she lets herself relax against Bruce, feeling safe and secure in his arms. 

When Loki finally pulls away, Bruce is smiling at her. “I like this look,” he says.

Loki smirks. “Oh, really?” she replies, raising an eyebrow. “What do you like about it?”

She expects Bruce to turn red and mumble something unintelligible, but he surprises her by taking her hand and squeezing it, a soft look in his eyes. “I like that you feel comfortable like this. You seem so much more…relaxed.”

Loki laughs quietly, wiping away the rest of her tears. “I am,” she admits. “It feels nice to look like on the outside what I feel like on the inside.”

Bruce’s eyes crinkle as he smiles and leans forward, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. Loki smiles and closes her eyes, squeezing his hand. 

When Bruce pulls away, she sighs happily and opens her eyes. “I love you,” she tells him.

He smiles softly. “I love you too.”

Loki leans against him as she breathes out deeply, feeling herself relax. She can barely believe that she’s in a relationship with this wonderful, loving man. She loves him so much, and she’s so glad that he loves her back, that he accepts her for who she is.

She can’t imagine a better person to spend her life with.