Chapter Text
The Serpent's carnations - Chapter 12
The sun was about to set. Crowley kept looking at the fireplace while his vision slowly got worse. He usually notices those changes but not this time. There is only one thing in his mind and it is making his heart race. He could hear Aziraphale breathing, he could feel his weight on him. But something has been wrong for a while now. Crowley can't fully understand it, but what he does know is that Aziraphale's feelings are changing constantly but slowly. It's easy to miss the changes as they happen but when looking at the bigger picture they're clearly there.
The way Crowley perceives these feelings is by purely abstract concepts that not even he is sure how to fully interpret. It is ineffable, there's no way to describe it accurately. The closest comparison would be watercolors. Each person is a piece of paper, an empty canvas, and what they feel towards Crowley is painted there. Each color has a different meaning and they spread throughout the canvas. Sometimes they mix and overlap, other times they fade away. But those colors aren't real, they don't fit in the color spectrum, they aren't fragments of light that fit in a radiation frequency. Crowley doesn't recognize all the different hues, he's just familiar with some and therefore can identify them easily. Everything else takes time to pinpoint the meaning, they're strange to him. And a new color appears in Aziraphale's canvas. It wasn't very vibrant but it was definitely there. Crowley isn't sure of what it is but he doesn't hate it.
The constant changes and unpredictability of the overall situation make him nervous, but there doesn't seem to be any reason to worry. Even if he still doesn't know what's happening, he at least knows Aziraphale has no intention of hurting him. He feels safe, he doesn't particularly like it and will deny it but it's the truth.
He didn't get to sleep that afternoon, he stayed awake looking at the fire and thinking, getting occasionally distracted by Aziraphale readjusting himself. Crowley doesn't know if he fell asleep and, at this point, he couldn't take a look to see if that was the case. Aziraphale wasn't sleeping, but he did get close to it. He was in that peaceful moment when the mind starts to wander into dream-like scenarios while still being present in reality. He could feel Crowley breathing, he didn't expect to have him as a pillow but he surely wouldn't complain about it. He starts to feel hungry so after getting past the sleepiness he sits down and stretches.
"Are you done sleeping?" Crowley asks.
"I think so, at least for now. I'm going to prepare dinner for our picnic. I know you're probably not hungry but do you want something to eat too?".
"No, I'm okay".
"Next time you eat we could have dinner together" he proposes happily "Or lunch".
"I don't know" he hesitates "I'll think about it".
"Of course, we don't have to do it if you don't want to. Just let me know if you'd like that".
Aziraphale gets up and heads to the kitchen. Crowley stays put for a few more minutes but after a while, he stretches and leaves his warm place close to the fire. He enters the fort and checks if everything is in place. After fixing the pillows he grabs a blanket from his room and brings it in to leave the space more cozy. He struggles a little to find the book but after accomplishing that he sets it up nicely for Aziraphale to read. After tweaking everything for some minutes, Crowley senses the smell of food in the air. He slithers slowly to the kitchen and hears Aziraphale humming a song.
"I think everything's ready over there".
"Lovely" Aziraphale says smiling "I won't take long here, I'm almost done".
He decided to prepare something simple and easy to eat. There was some jam in the kitchen and a little bit of bread, and also some grapes for dessert. It isn't the best dinner he ever had, but it surely will be fun to eat while reading.
"Do you need help with anything?" Crowley asks getting closer but accidentally bumps into Aziraphale.
"Oh, are you alright?" he asks.
"Yeah, sorry about that. But do you need help?".
"Thank you Crowley, but there's no need for that. You can go ahead, I'll be there in no time".
Crowley leaves embarrassed and gets comfortable in the pillows. It doesn't take long for Aziraphale to join him. He sits at the same spot as yesterday and puts down his plate in the chair closer to him.
"I know you can't see very well but if you want some food just let me know".
Crowley nods positively knowing perfectly well that he wasn't going to eat, not after what happened at lunch. That doesn't mean he didn't enjoy that moment. They read a couple more chapters of the book and Crowley gets closer to Aziraphale little by little. By the end of the first chapter, Crowley's head was resting on Aziraphale's legs, who also had one hand resting on him, only moving away when he needed to flip the page.
"Have you read all the books in your library?" Crowley asks.
"Not quite, we have oodles of them. But I've read most of the novels".
"It must be nice to have all those books".
"They aren't technically mine, but yes, it is nice".
Aziraphale thought about suggesting to bring some of the books to Crowley but he didn't. It would be a silly suggestion, he doesn’t want visits after all. He closes the book and gently pets Crowley. Once again, both of their hearts beating faster than usual, one could almost hear them in the silence. Crowley didn't want to move, but Aziraphale's touch was like no one else's. He managed to stay still like a statue that night. After some words, Aziraphale gets ready to go to bed. Crowley stayed in the fort, it was already warm in there and he didn't feel like going to his cold mattress.
The next morning, Aziraphale puts the chairs back in their place after Crowley goes to the garden. The day was calm, but he did find it weird that Crowley wasn't eating anything. It could be because of the skin changing but in the book there was no mention of different food habits during this stage.
"Are you feeling alright?" he asks him when joining him on the couch after dinner.
"I am, why do you ask?".
"You haven't been eating anything, I can cook something for you if you'd like".
"It's okay, I'm not hungry yet. And snakes can't eat cooked food anyway".
"Oh. Oh no" Aziraphale says after realizing that Crowley has been eating little pieces of cooked food for all those days "Why didn't you say so? I knew something was wrong, you probably got sick from eating my food".
He gets closer to Crowley and starts to see if he's alright.
"Do you need to go to the doctor? To the vet? Why did you eat if you knew it would hurt you?".
"Hey, let go of me, I'm fine, I'm not sick" Crowley says freeing himself from Aziraphale's hands.
He takes a step back and looks at him.
"But you said snakes can't eat that".
"Snakes can't talk either".
"Right" he responds embarrassed.
"I can't eat much of it, but a little bit doesn't hurt. I just haven't been feeling hungry".
"I understand. And I'm sorry for the way I acted".
"It's alright, but you don't have to worry".
"I know I don't have to, that's not how it works" Aziraphale says as he opens the book "Shall we?".
Crowley slithers to his lap and gets comfortable. He listens to every word and immerses himself in the story completely. He had heard of books like that, fictional stories of fictional characters, but he never read any of those. He likes it. After they're done reading for the night, they head to their rooms to rest.
A couple more days pass by, and eventually, Crowley gets hungry. He remembers Aziraphale's suggestion, but he didn't want to agree to it. He likes to keep him company while he eats but he doesn't want to be seen while doing so. Especially now, he doesn't want to scare him away. Similarly to the last few times, Crowley goes to the kitchen in the middle of the night and eats a proper meal. But this time there was something different, just like when he tried Aziraphale's lunch the other day. The taste is not normal, it is changing.
Suddenly his pupils get slim as the realization dons on him. He knows there's nothing wrong with the food. He's the one who's changing. There it was again, that feeling that makes shivers crawl up his spine. Hope. He couldn't move for a few seconds, he just stayed there terrified while trying to keep the food inside of him.
He felt something on his face, it was a tear. He shakes it off in denial but remembers Aziraphale saying that he was crying. Could he be? No. It is impossible, he knows it. He runs to his room and closes the door. He quickly slithers under his blanket and tries to get some sleep. After trying and trying, he successfully makes his brain quiet enough to fall asleep. But something worse was waiting for him during his sleep. A dream.
When Aziraphale wakes up he looks for Crowley around the house. He was nowhere to be found. He looked out the windows but Crowley wasn't outside either. He finally knocks on his bedroom door.
"Are you in there Crowley?".
"I am" he hears from the other side of the door.
"Good morning" Aziraphale says smiling "I hope I didn't wake you, I was just looking for you".
"Do you need something?".
"No, not really".
Aziraphale stays quiet looking at the closed door.
"Are you alright? You don’t usually stay in your room at this time".
"Everything is fine, I just woke up feeling a little off".
"Do you need something? Can I come in?".
"No, don't worry, it's nothing serious. I just need to rest a little more".
"Just tell me if you need anything then" he says a little worried.
Crowley seemed nervous, but there was not much he could do about it. During the whole day, Aziraphale glanced at the door but it remained closed. He talked to Crowley a couple more times, asked him if he wanted some food or water or just to talk but his offers were denied every time. On the other side of that closed door, Crowley was erratically slithering around his room. He could feel Aziraphale's concern grow, which didn't help calm him down. He would stop moving occasionally, completely lost in his thoughts. His heartbeat was so fast it felt like his whole body was shaking. He didn't even notice the sun go down until Aziraphale knocked on his door again.
"I was wondering if you'd still like to read today" he says "We don't have to, but it might help you feel better?".
He hears no answer but after a few seconds the door handle moves. He takes a step back to give space to Crowley and the door opens a little.
"I'm sorry" he says "I don't think I would be able to follow what you read today. It would all go flying in my mind".
Aziraphale gets down to the floor to get to the same level as Crowley.
"You don't need to apologize for that, it's alright. But what if instead of reading a new chapter we go back some pages and read the best parts again? Would you like that?".
Crowley thinks quietly before giving Aziraphale an answer. It seems like a good idea, but he isn't sure if it truly is.
"Did you light up the fireplace?" he asks.
"Yes, it's very warm and cozy".
"I'll be there in a couple of minutes then".
Crowley gently closes the door and Aziraphale patiently waits on the couch. Soon after he hears the door opening again. Crowley slithers carefully until he finds Aziraphale. He then joins him and rests his head on his legs. Aziraphale asks where he would like to start but he's unsure.
"You can pick the first one".
Aziraphale flips through the pages until he finds what he's looking for. He reads a couple of paragraphs. Crowley wasn't paying attention in the beginning, his mind was flooded with loud seemingly unstoppable chaos. But hearing Aziraphale's voice pulls him to that moment. After he was done reading that part Crowley suggested another one. They read for a while and talk about their favorite moments. It could have been a peaceful moment, but Crowley was not doing okay. Aziraphale tried not to mention it, maybe acting normally would help him feel better. But he could hear his voice trembling every time he spoke.
"Aziraphale?" he asks while Aziraphale looks through the pages.
"Yes?".
"I know you said you'd stay until we finish the book. But you could leave if you want to. I won't be able to see you go, so you don't need to be scared. It would be safe for you".
Crowley's words take Aziraphale by surprise. He feels a heavy weight on his chest. He gets angry at him for not trusting his word but is also sad that he wants him gone as soon as possible. He takes a deep breath before talking.
"Crowley, look at me".
"I can't see you even if I looked".
"Please".
Crowley gives in to Aziraphale's request and lifts his head to look at him. He can't see much but feels his hands holding his face softly.
"There's something wrong. I don't know what happened and you don't have to tell me, but I won't leave you like this".
"You're really stubborn, you know that?" Crowley asks to try and lighten the moment.
He feels Aziraphale's hands move and his arms kindly embrace him.
"I don't want to leave you alone" he says while hugging Crowley.
The seconds take their time to pass as Crowley is stuck in a state of shock. He holds his breath instinctively. Aziraphale had no idea how he would react but when he was going to let go he felt something. Hesitantly Crowley sets his head on Aziraphale's shoulder. One of his hands moves up and holds him gently. He hears Crowley breathing again and he wraps himself around Aziraphale. Their hug gets tighter and Crowley holds back his tears.
"This is stupid" he says almost in a whisper.
Aziraphale smiles and strokes Crowley's back.
"Don't be so grumpy".
They hold each other for a while longer until Crowley loosens his grip.
"Are you feeling better Crowley?".
"I'm not sure".
"Can you tell me what's bothering you?".
Crowley stays quiet and Aziraphale regrets asking.
"I'm sorry, you don't have to answer".
"It's fine".
He lays down his head again and sighs.
"Something happened tonight while I was sleeping, something that shouldn't have. And I'm not sure when it will happen again but I didn't like it".
"Are you scared it will happen again tonight?".
"I'm not scared" Crowley scoffs "Just don't want to go to sleep again".
Aziraphale looks at him and thinks for a few seconds.
"You know you can call me if you're scare- I mean, if you're nervous. I'll help you".
"I don't think there's anything anyone can do to help".
"Even if I can't do anything, I can be there for you if you want".
Crowley shakes his head once, agreeing with Aziraphale. They stay close to the fireplace for a while longer. Aziraphale strokes Crowley's skin and feels his scales against his fingers. He lets him rest. Even if he stayed in his room all day he seemed exhausted. The fire burns out leaving them in the dark, the only light was coming from the moon outside. Aziraphale stretches his arm and reaches for a blanket. He feels Crowley moving but when he looks at him he notices that he's sleeping. He moves quietly and puts the blanket around them both. He looks at the kitchen and yawns.
"No tea for me today".
Getting tea was not a good reason to wake up Crowley.
"I'll have to wake him anyway when I go to bed" Aziraphale thinks "But it's still not that late, I can stay for a few more minutes".
And so he stays. He felt Crowley moving in his sleep a few times but he didn't seem distressed. It almost looked like he was trying to get closer to Aziraphale to get warmer. He tries his best to keep them covered but sleep starts to weigh on him. It gets harder to keep his eyes open. He didn't expect to fall asleep on the couch, he usually has a hard time falling asleep when things aren't just right. He didn't have his tea, his bed, and his clothes weren't the best for sleeping. He also wanted to stay awake to make sure that everything was okay, that Crowley was okay. But the living room was warm and the couch was comfortable. Aziraphale couldn't avoid falling asleep too.
Author's note
Here's chapter 12 of "The Serpent's carnations"! For now, we are getting plenty of wholesome moments, let's see how long they last until drama strikes back at them. And I hope you're enjoying the story! And I apologize if there were any spelling mistakes. If you'd like to know when chapters come out you can check me out on YouTube or Instagram, I'll be posting there when there's an update. And if you'd like to have early access to the next chapter and a couple of extra drawings you can check my Patreon too! All my socials are linked here. Thank you again for reading and what do you think will happen next?