Archive of Our Own ^beta

Third is out on the back porch, eating leftovers from the barbecue while he watches the moles of the yard poke out of their holes. Wilf is out with Donna for a moment, and he’ll admit that he likes watching them without the old man’s shouting.

Old man. Like he isn’t one himself.

“Still younger than me,” Fourth quips. Third gets the distinct sensation of a hand ruffling his hair as someone passes by him, and then he’s by himself again.

For a few beats.

“I know you’re there, Second.”

Second sighs, joining Third on the stoop. Third can clearly see those horrible rubber shoes and huffs out a laugh.

“You’re terrible. There’s a reason I don’t entirely trust you to dress us.”

“I do well enough.” Second takes one of the grilled sausages and chews thoughtfully. “It’s nice out here.”

“I’m so glad we can talk while eating. It’s actually very handy, isn’t it?”

Second can’t help himself. The Doctor snorts a little.

“As if it’s better to simply take others’ food,” First comments. Second and Third can nearly see him, lounging in one of the shaded lawn chairs with a book of puzzles and his spectacles perched on his nose.

“You’re not much better,” Fourth teases, spread out on the roof of the TARDIS, his propped-up legs casting shadows past First.

“Those who live in wood-paneled spacetime ships ought not play with matches.”

Twelfth pinches the bridge of his nose. “Just don’t engage with him.”

“Judgmental prat.” First takes another bite of sausage.

“And as if you didn’t do the same thing,” Thirteenth points out to First.

“Oi. Who’s fighting in here?” Tenth — now Fourteenth, bubbles to the front as though with a tray of lemonade. One of the glasses is already missing, and Fourth is sipping at it through an overly-complex straw.

“No one,” Second and Third both lie.

Fourteenth knows they’re full of it, but flips their internal focus to the feeling of Rose inside the house. She’s getting closer now.

“Hey,” she says through the glass pane of the back door. “You alright?”

“Just getting some air, Fourteenth says. “‘S a nice day. Figured someone’d better eat the leftovers.”

“What, to make room for more?” Rose smiles teasingly.

“Well, I did agree to assist with barbecue week…” Third reasons.

“Ah-huh. Nothing to do with…?”

“Rose, just ‘cause you got a glimpse into my head once doesn’t give you free access to go rummaging.” Fourth says it gently, like it’s a joke, and she just rolls her eyes fondly.

“Relax. Local weirdo, remember?” Rose sits where Second had been and  bumps her shoulder against the Doctor’s. “Who’s got the microphone?”

“As many as fourteen,” the Doctor drawls. They aren’t sure if it’s Fourteenth or Fourth.

“Maybe Sixth,” Eighth teases. “ He’s a bitch.”

“Settle down, Poet Laureate.”

“I love it when you prove my points.”

“All your past faces?”

The Watcher just feels like dread. Fourth glares at it, listening in from the other side of the fence.

“Mostly.” Fourth murmurs. He reaches for his pocket, then remembers that their jacket — and their sweets — are still inside.

Just as well. They’re getting used to the temperature — the sunlight is soft on their skin.

“Well. Tell ‘em I said hello.”

“They can hear you,” Fourth tells her.

“I know that little look.” Rose gives them another smile.” Hi, Four.”

Fourth chuckles. “Hello, Miss Noble.”

“You all good?”

“Arguing. As we are wont to do. Particularly my immediate predecessors.”

“Hey!”

Fourth winces a little, but the smile on his face remains. Rose giggles.

“They didn’t like that, I’m guessing?”

“Not one bit. Incredibly immature.”

First — despite being the youngest of them — can’t help the twitch at the corner of their mouth.

“She should have seen our Eleventh.”

Eleventh rolls his eyes. “Oh, shove off. I died of old age, same as you!”

“And yet you both act the youngest,” Twelfth snipes.

“Like I said,” Fourth mutters internally. “Incredibly immature.” He grins at Rose playfully. “It’s a bit exhausting, the way they go at each other. Like cats.”

Thirteenth lights up, diving for the controls. “His fursona’s a cat, by the way. Fourth.”

Rose blinks. “You have fursonas?”

“‘Course we do. I got bored one night.” The Doctor sets the plate of leftovers on the porch and takes Rose’s hand. “Thirteenth, by the way. Good to meet’cha.”

“The… blonde woman.”

“Yes! Oh, hi! ‘Course you know about me, with the– duh.” Thirteenth laughs a little. “Uh, I know Third brought us out here. Fourteenth’s always around.”

“Uh, hi. Wh–” Rose holds her hands up. “Hang on. Fursonas?”

“Yeah. I’m pretty sure those exist by now.”

“No, they do. I just–I mean, yeah, I guess you probably would. You know pretty much everything.”

Thirteenth chuckles. “I’ve just been to a lot of places. Been alive a long time.”

“I know. It’s still pretty cool, though.”

“You say that now. Wait’ll I’m telling you about the digestive system of an alien you think might eat you.”

Rose tilts her head. “…Yeah, maybe save that for after we’re back in the TARDIS.”

“You wouldn’t really wanna hear that.”

“Mm. I dunno. Depends on how good a teacher you are.”

First can’t help but remember Arkytior. The Doctor’s worse heart skips a beat.

“She was happy, last we saw,” Third reminds.

“And how long ago was that again?” Ninth shoots back.

“You know our Ninth? Buzzed hair, leather bike jacket?”

“Yeah.”

“Doberman Pinscher.”

“Fuck you.”

“Then why were you so specific?” Fourth teases.

“God– yeah, that fits.” Rose laughs. “What about yours?”

“Well… Hm. This is a very specific pull. You know that little rainbow-spotted puppy from that one American cartoon in the late nineties, early two thousands?”

“Uh, I think so.”

“Basically that. With a cute shirt.”

“Ohh… That really suits you.”

“That’s what I told Sixie!”

“Sixth sounds cringe. And he’s one to talk, in that coat.”

Sixth frowns. “Oi!”

Still though, Rose is smiling with all of them. “Oh, don’t tell me. His is one of those yellow cats with the curly fur.”

Thirteenth snorts a little. “He was gonna be a cockapoo, but the pins convinced me.”

Rose bobs her head a little. “Goldendoodle might’ve worked.”

Sixth considers that. “…You know, you have a point.”

Rose laughs, and every Doctor’s hearts clench a little. “Mum’s right. You’re all dorks.”

“Takes one to know one, though, doesn’t it?” Fourteenth boops Rose’s nose.

“Right. What were you doing at the devil’s sacrament and all that.”

“You can’t blame me for wanting to keep up. I do need to blend in sometimes.”