Chapter Text
Fall one by one under the gun.
Thy will be done and the judgment has begun.
Archangel
“Never thought I’d see Shepard so…” James looked for the right word.
“Maternal?” Garrus supplied. Jane’s shift in demeanor as soon as she saw Grunt could certainly be described that way. Her voice pitched a little higher. She adopted a more open posture. It was how she’d acted around Theia, and to a lesser extent Lana.
“I guess that works?” James watched as Jane gushed over Grunt’s accomplishments. “Wonder if she wants kids.”
Garrus balked at replying to that. In the old days, the easy answer would have been that she couldn’t have them even if she wanted to. The massive scar across her abdomen from the Thresher Maw attack on Akuze would have been enough to prove it. But now? From what Jane had explained to him, when Cerberus rebuilt her they’d even been able to put back organs she’d had removed on purpose because through some quirk of biology they’d “gone and fucked up”.
If Jane did ever want kids, that was something Garrus couldn’t give her no matter how they had sex.
“I’ve never asked,” Garrus admitted at last. “I don’t think it’s ever come up.”
“Probably oughta talk about that before you go through with proposing, cabeza de hueso.”
Garrus clenched his jaw. “You don’t get to insult me, Vega.”
“I believe,” Javik said, “that Shepard requested both of you behave yourselves.”
Garrus was behaving himself. He wasn’t tossing James Fucking Vega down the nearest tunnel to be eaten by probable Reaper-fied Rachni. If there was one thing months of living in his father’s house again had taught him, it was how to keep his shit together when being antagonized.
“Hey,” James held up his hands. “I’m just saying.”
Javik forced his way into Jane’s conversation with Grunt. “Yes, you are the one. The Krogan who occupied my quarters on the Normandy. You left your mark.”
“You gave away my room?” Grunt stuck out his lower lip.
“Didn’t have much of a choice.” Jane patted Grunt’s shoulder. “But we can find you a better room. With blackjack and hookers.”
“And dinosaurs?”
“Yes, Grunt. And dinosaurs.”
Javik scolded the young Krogan. “You shouldn’t be so eager to fight the Rachi. They were formidable opponents, even to my people.”
“Look, nobody knows if the Rachni had anything to do with this. We’re here as a favor to Wrex to find the scouts,” Jane said. “We didn’t read signs of activity during our approach.” She was starting to grow uneasy. Too much heat on the Rachni Queen was starting to shake Jane’s faith in her, and Jane’s faith in herself.
“Agreed, but this place smells wrong,” Grunt insisted. “Like a bad wound. Our scans show the tunnels down here lead to a central point. If we’re lucky, it’s a nest.”
Garrus stepped up to give Jane an out. “Sounds like fun, just like old times, Grunt.”
Grunt chuckled. It was a deep, gravelly sound. He thrust one finger towards their target. “Aralakh Company, move out!”
They trudged through the canyon towards the remains of a scout camp. Loose rock made footing treacherous if they went too quickly. At least one of the Aralakh Company commandos wound up sliding a meter or more. When the scouts’ camp came into view, it looked abandoned. Doors hung off the hinges, flapping in a quiet breeze.
Wait. Off their hinges? Something had to have ripped them out of the walls for that to happen. Something strong. Gouges had been taken out of the metal structures in patterns that suspiciously reminded Garrus of the shit he and Jane had seen with Liara on Noveria.
“Jesus fuck what the hell is that!?” Shepard jumped back several feet at the sight of a multi-legged brown bug with a spike on top of its cephalothorax that came up to her knee.
“A Rachni.” Garrus lined up a shot and dropped the thing with one hit. “Just a little one. They supposedly got bigger.”
“H-how much bigger?” Liara asked. She’d turned a pale shade of blue with green undertones.
Hadn’t the Asari been part of the Rachni Wars? She should know. It should have been taught in basic history classes. Then again, not every species went into so much detail on military campaigns. “A whole fucking lot bigger than that.”
“Suggestions, Mr. Tactician?” Shepard prodded the dead Rachni with her boot.
“Kill it with fire.”
Javik speaking brought Garrus back to the present. “Their base camp has been decimated. The Krogan are overconfident. It’s their weakness.”
“Javik, ix-nay on the itching-bay…” Jane mumbled. Garrus had no fucking clue what she was saying. She’d sometimes talk to Tali in weird Human-speech like that and it didn’t translate. Somehow the Quarian was able to understand it.
Grunt led them to a stop in the middle of the ruined camp. The buildings yawned at them like Aralakh Company had woken slumbering beasts.
“This is spooky,” James said.
“Okay, gang.” Jane wormed her way to the middle of the pack. “Let’s split up and search for clues. Grunt, you’re on me. Garrus, keep the rest of our chucklefucks in line.”
Garrus sighed quietly to himself. He wasn’t looking forward to combing a deserted campsite with Vega and Javik.
Paragon
Shepard picked her way through an empty building with Grunt on her heels. “So, Grunt, tell me more about your men.”
“Aralakh means ‘eye of wrath’. We’re named after the fierce Tuchanka sun.” He looked at the loose collection of Krogan outside. Each one had different clan markings. “Wrex handpicked us from different clans to show a united Krogan. We were chosen because we are the strongest.”
“Again, I can’t even fucking tell you how proud I am.” Shepard smiled again. “But do you have any idea what happened to the scouting party Wrex sent us here to investigate?”
Grunt gestured out the other side of the squat building. “Something dropped half their campsite down a hole. The shuttle must have been lost as well. They weren’t going anywhere.”
Shepard peered over the edge and saw a deep chasm stretching into darkness. Grunt grabbed her belt and pulled her back. She looked over her shoulder at him. “What? I’m not going to jump.” There was probably a tunnel entrance near this scout camp that would lead down into the nest. Hopefully she could get to Queenie before anyone else and actually have a conversation that would avoid needless bloodshed.
“I’d rather not have to tear Garrus’s scutes off when he gets pissy at me for letting something happen to you, mother.” Grunt dusted off Shepard’s shoulder. “He may be your mate, but that doesn’t mean I’ll hold back.”
“Please don’t fight him if I get my own damn ass killed.” Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose. “I’m asking as your mother, not your battlemaster.”
“It doesn’t matter.” Grunt looked down the hole as well. “We’re here to find the Rachni and burn them out.”
“I don’t suppose Okeer gave you any imprints about the Rachni, did he?” Shepard’s eyes slid to the side as she took in the manic glee on Grunt’s face. Her stomach dropped a bit as she realized she taught him that, but her heart still swelled with maternal pride. She wasn’t supposed to be happy she’d raised another hyperviolent warrior like herself, one who didn’t even try to control it.
But we don’t control it either. We channel it.
It makes you a bad person.
Then what are you? We’re the same person.
The better you. The you everyone sees.
“Okeer insured I knew of the Rachni,” Grunt said. “They are respected as an enemy. Everyone thought they were dead, defeated by the Krogan. If they are here, my blood demands that they die.”
“Yeah…” Shepard scratched the back of her neck. “So, full disclosure, kiddo. I found a lone Rachni Queen on Noveria before you were born. I… let her go. If this is Rachni, there’s only one queen down there.”
Grunt furrowed his thick brows. “Why release her?”
“Not every battle needs to be fought with fists or guns.” Shepard left the building with Grunt on her heels. “Sometimes you can win with words.”
“Like you won Jack, Samara, and Thane?” Grunt asked.
“Yeah. Kind of like that.” Shepard entered another building with Grunt right behind her. This one stood on the edge of the pit leading down into blackness. Grunt stayed by the entrance while Shepard ventured farther. The floor started to wobble and rock.
“Fuck!” Shepard screamed as she tipped sideways. A metallic shriek split the air.
“The whole thing’s coming down,” Grunt called to the others.
Shepard tumbled around inside the structure like the bead in a bottle of nail polish before being dumped out onto the bottom of the pit. It wasn’t as deep as she’d thought. The shadows from the canyon above had made it seem larger. She lay on the dusty earth on her back looking up at the roiling golden sky while trying to catch her breath.
“Ow…” she whimpered.
“Hang on, sweetheart!”
Shepard heard various clang and thunk noises. She craned her neck back to see Garrus platforming his way down the canyon wall and the collapsed building.
“What the hell are you doing, you fucking bonehead?” Shepard pushed herself up to sitting and clutched her forehead. Too fast. She’d gotten up too fast. Her vision turned black at the edges.
Garrus hit the hard packed gravel with a final thud. “What’s it look like, you infuriating bitch? I’m keeping a promise.” He crossed the canyon floor, kicking up dust with the speed of his determined strides. He knelt beside her and brushed dirt and grit from her hair. “You’re not going this alone.”
“We really need to have a talk about whether we’re soldiers or in a relationship.” Shepard clambered back up to standing, using Garrus to brace herself.
“Both?” he suggested. “You always do the truly fucked up insane shit when I’m around.”
“Mother!” Grunt cried from the upper level of the canyon. “Are you in one piece?”
“Yeah, don’t worry about me!” Shepard called back. She saw motion out of the corner of her eye and found both Javik and James picking their way down the rubble pile. “Oh my fucking god, what are you guys doing?”
“Following our Commander,” James said. Javik merely huffed.
“Grunt, keep radio contact.” Shepard opened her omni-tool and synced the comm frequencies with only a little difficulty.
“Affirmative, mother.”
Shepard peered into the darkened tunnels. Gray shadows shrouded the edges. “There’s got to be another exit somewhere.”
“I see something up ahead.” Garrus’s pupils glowed in the dim light. What Shepard wouldn’t give for a damn tapetum lucidum. Shepard started off in the only direction available: forward. Garrus caught up to her and the squad walked two by two. A few hundred meters from what Shepard now realized was the body of a Krogan scout, Garrus grimaced and started breathing through his mouth. “There’s nothing worse than the smell of dead Krogan.”
“Grunt, we’ve got the body of a scout here. Been dead…” She looked to Garrus for an answer.
“A few days,” Garrus said loud enough for Grunt to hear through the comm.
“Yeah?” Grunt’s voice was filled with static. “If he’s got a weapon, grab it. He won’t be needing it anymore.”
Shepard approached the corpse and pulled the gun from its stiff hands. “What is this thing?”
“A Firestorm,” Garrus said. “Flamethrower.”
Shepard nearly dropped it. “Flamethrowers are definitely against the Geneva Convention.”
“At this point, Commander,” James said, “they’re more like Geneva Suggestions. And I don’t think giant spiders count for war crimes.”
He had a point, but she still had her principles. “I’m not going to use this on a living being, how about that?”
“Is it really that different from incendiary ammunition?” Garrus asked.
“Your petty squabbles will get us all killed,” Javik said. He wrenched the Firestorm from Shepard’s hands and pointed it at a large wall of sticky white gossamer blocking their path. “If you refuse to compromise your honor to win this war, you will never succeed.”
“Is that webbing?” Garrus asked, a hint of trepidation in his voice.
“Looks like it,” Shepard said.
“Spirits, I fucking hate spiders…”
Javik released the valve on the Firestorm and burned their way through. They entered a nearly pitch black cave. The only light came from something bioluminescent clinging to pillars of stone. Shepard fished out her flashlight and clicked it on, socketing it into the bottom of her Mattock. She swept the beam back and forth, searching for their way forward. Another sheet of web stretching from the cavern floor to ceiling seemed to be the right way.
She heard a skittering noise and her skin began to crawl.
“Movement.” Garrus was looking in a different direction. His scouter cycled through different views. “Anyone catch that?”
“Just be ready,” Shepard ordered her squad.
“Confirmed.” Javik burned through the webs and revealed a collection of pods which he also set ablaze.
“Careful!” Garrus and Shepard cried in unison.
“We need to be cautious. They’re dangerous,” Javik insisted.
Shepard hadn’t heard a word out of James. She turned to the Marine to find him with a stiff posture and pale face.
“James… Are you scared of spiders?” she asked.
“Not scared of anything, Lola.” His attempt at affecting a joking tone fell flat.
“Hey.” She reached out and touched his arm. “It’s okay to be scared. Fear keeps you sharp.”
“Sounds like a load of bullshit coming from the great Commander Shepard,” James said. “Bet you’re not scared of anything.”
Ancient
“Bet you’re not scared of anything.”
Javik snorted. “That is a lie.”
Shepard’s fear and sentiment and weakness oozed off of her like a gaseous aura. She feared the choice she would have to make if they found the Rachni Queen. From what Javik knew of this cycle’s history, the Rachni had almost consumed the galaxy. It was destroy or be destroyed. With the Reapers bearing down on them from all sides, the Rachni were a problem that needed to be exterminated for the greater good.
Javik washed another clump of pods in flame. The red glow flickered across Shepard’s scarred face as she admitted, “I’m fucking terrified. I’m literally always scared. Always.” She looked up at her bonded Turian. “Every second of every fucking day. I’m just real good at hiding it.”
Garrus tucked the ends of Shepard’s bangs behind her right ear. “Like I said, Jane, you don’t have to do this alone.”
Javik paused in his fiery destruction of unborn Rachni. Cables snaked across the floor. “Shepard, those cords are Reaper technology.”
“Fuck ass bitch titties,” she cursed.
“Why do you say that?” James asked, trying to change the subject.
“It’s a long story, but basically on the SR-1 Tali and I got into a swearing contest. I won, but she came up with that and it stuck as ‘our thing’.” Shepard crouched down to peer at the cords. They were dark gray or black and ribbed like Javik had seen before. “Nobody else says it but us.”
“So what, you and Garrus don’t have a thing?” James gave the ashes of the pods and the Reaper cords a respectfully wide berth. He knew what they were up against. He was right to be afraid and back down.
“No, we do.” Shepard smiled. “Our thing is saying ‘fuckmothering’.”
Garrus mirrored her grin. “I think I called the first Geth stalker we ever fought a ‘fuckmothering jumping spider robot bitch’. Damn thing wouldn’t sit still.”
“You’ve gotten better with moving targets, babe.” Shepard began walking towards a pool of bioluminescence. The eerie blue glow cast grim shadows on her face, giving her the affectation of a rotting skull. It clung to their boots and left slimy tracks in their wakes as the squad of four advanced into a wider cavern with light filtering in from the right. Sharp rocks jutted up from the floor and dripped from the ceiling.
“Honey,” Shepard said again, “is that a fuckmothering spider with a Reaper eye?”
“Technically, sweetheart, I think it used to be a Rachni.”
A bulbous, distended creature with six legs and a massive blue cybernetic eye grafted onto the space its head should be emerged from over the edge of a jagged crevasse. Guns were mounted to either side of the eye. A horde of smaller Rachni, only about ankle high, skittered to attack from either side. These were unmodified, but Shepard saw the same blank eyes as the Rachni from Noveria. Taken from their mother, they couldn’t hear her song.
“G-Grunt, we got company!” Shepard shouted into the comm link to Aralakh Company’s leader, her adoptive son. She darted to the side, firing with the heavy assault rifle.
“Light ‘em up, Mother!”
“Jane, I’ve got eyes on a barrier generator of some sort.” Garrus looked through the scope of his sniper rifle.
“Disruptor ammo, babe.” Shepard baited the Rachni towards her. “We’ll keep these little bitches off you. James, Javik, kill it with fire.”
“Husks incoming, Commander!” James called.
“This can not be fucking easy, can it!?” Shepard twirled in place, shooting the tiny Rachni at her feet before bolting in the direction of the husks that were barreling towards Garrus. Javik relied on the flamethrower to destroy the tiny footsoldiers. Even the smallest Rachni could one day grow into something far worse.
Out of the corner of his second right eye, Javik saw Shepard tackle a husk to the ground and punch it so hard it stopped moving. She put a flaming bullet in its head for good measure. It appeared to have been Human once. Through Shepard and Garrus’s memories, Javik had seen Human and Turian husks in addition to the disgusting fate that befell his people.
“Looks like the Reapers made some modifications.” Garrus alternated between shooting the generator and the Rachni. “I hardly recognize them, but a spider’s a spider.”
“You deal with klixen well enough,” Shepard pointed out.
“They’re more crab than spider.”
“You realize shellfish are the bugs of the sea, right?” James said, firing shotgun shell after shotgun shell at the large Rachni-Reaper while Shepard tried to flank it. Javik finally dropped the flamethrower and unleashed his particle rifle at the creature, sending it to hell where it belonged.
“At least they’re edible.”
“Grunt, Rachni presence confirmed,” Shepard said. Her voice sounded heavy. “Modified and very dangerous.”
“Finally, something to kill!” the Krogan replied.
“You find the Queen,” Shepard ordered, “you don’t engage until I get there.”
“Nothing here yet, mother. Lost a Krogan to a sinkhole. Bad way to go.”
Javik picked up a refill on Firestorm ammunition from a dead scout. More pods lay before him. “This must be the breeding ground. The Reapers are protecting an asset of great significance.”
“And I’m going to take this asset for our side.” Shepard said the words like a vow.
“Jane, over here,” Garrus called. Shepard padded over to his position. He pointed up to long metal struts that resembled a Reaper’s legs. “No question the Reapers have been here.”
Shepard leaned against him. “I know.” Her shoulders slumped. “Let’s get this over with.”
Javik destroyed the last pod and reduced another blockade of webs to ashes. Shepard strode forward through a calf-high pool of bioluminescent goo. The squad found their path blocked by some sort of metal barrier. Javik burned the rest of the webs around them and found what appeared to be the power source, a node composed of a black metal cage and a central glowing white source. Shepard drew the smaller pistol that hung off her belt and fired a single dark energy projectile at it. She motioned for the squad to step back as the tiny mine detonated and destroyed the power source. The metal barrier fell and they were able to advance.
“I did not expect to face Rachni in this cycle, but I am not surprised,” Javik said to no one in particular.
“You used them as weapons,” Shepard spat. “Are you really shocked they managed to survive? You realize you were no better than the Reapers, stealing the Queen’s children, right?”
“Biological proxies,” Javik said. “It was before I was born. But everyone heard the stories.”
“And I bet the Rachni told their own version…”
“When we knew of them, the Rachni spent their lives ‘singing’ thoughts to each other, but our scientists were more interested in their biology.” Javik turned the nozzle of his Firestorm on another hanging curtain of webbing. “The Rachni were well suited to harsh conditions.”
Shepard followed along behind him in silence for a moment before stating, “Go ahead and tell me what horrific atrocity you committed, Javik. I’m waiting.”
Why did he care about her opinion? This weak, sentimental woman who thought she might be able to lead? She was nothing to him. “We bred them for violence, selecting the most cunning and warlike of the Queens. Then we unleashed them on our enemies. It worked for a time, until they became too cunning and warlike… and turned on us.”
“As well they fucking should have.” Shepard shoulder-checked Javik from behind as she brushed past him. “Luckily breeding and genetics doesn’t dictate someone’s destiny. Queenie’s here, and she’s not like that at all, despite what you tried to do to her species. Despite what the whole galaxy tried to do to her species over and over again.” The Commander’s hands had balled into fists and were shaking. A cold fury seeped into her voice.
“We put them down before they could develop any further. We thought they’d been exterminated.”
“So did the Salarians, Turians, Krogan, and Asari.”
Paragon
Shepard looked up at the ceiling covered in tiny blue glowing bundles of… something. She wasn’t sure if it was moss, a glow worm, or some other third thing. A deep rumbling shook the cavern. She shoved Javik and James forward on instinct and began to reach for Garrus, but he yanked her along with him as the ceiling fell in around them.
For a moment everything was dark. Shepard couldn’t tell if she had her eyes closed or not. The air was pleasantly cool and her body pleasantly warm. When she breathed, her lungs filled with sun-warmed steel. One patch of her scalp grew hot and cold at regular intervals as someone else’s warm breath washed over her. She wanted to stay here where everything was dark and warm and okay and Garrus was here too.
“Our exit is cut off.” Javik’s voice cut through her serenity.
Fuck ass bitch titties…
“We’ll have to find another way out,” James said.
Shepard took a moment to try burrowing into Garrus’s chest and got disappointed when his heavy armor stood between them. She sat up and smacked the butt of her flashlight, jiggling it until the power source reconnected. Apparently she hadn’t been lying to Nyreen and Aria. This thing was a piece of shit.
“You okay, Garrus?” she asked.
“Nothing I haven’t experienced before.” He rubbed his forehead before passing a hand over his crest. “I don’t think there’s any new dents.”
Shepard pulled him down and kissed the top of his head. “There. All better.”
Grunt’s voice crackled through the comm. “What’s that noise, mother? Sounded bad.”
“Cave in.” Shepard staggered to her feet. She felt sore in the bad way. “We’re all okay.”
“Good. Didn’t want to dig you out.”
“Aw… That hurts my feelings, Grunt.” Shepard pouted her lips even though she knew her Krogan son couldn’t see her.
“Yeah, yeah,” came his reply.
“I love you, too, son.”
Javik was already burning a path through more birthing pods and webs while Shepard, Garrus, and James followed at a more modest pace.
“Mother,” Grunt said after several minutes of radio silence, “I know what happened to the scouts.”
“Go on and shoot.” Shepard paused and put a hand to her earpiece.
“They got hit hard. Leader ordered them to carry weapons deep into the caves.” Grunt paused. “He knew the next team would need help.”
Javik was looting another corpse for its Firestorm. Shepard saw the body with a new realization. “It was a suicide mission.”
“Mhm.”
“C’mon,” Shepard said to her squad. “These men died so we could make it to the central chamber. Let’s go.”
If Queenie did this, can I kill her? Can I talk her into taking the right path? Like Saren? If I can’t?
She didn’t want to think about that right now.
“Look out!” Garrus grabbed her arm and pulled her back, blowing a husk’s head off with her Carnifex as it barreled around the corner.
Shepard felt the breath rush from her lungs as she looked up at Garrus holding her close and taking shots at anything that moved. Grim determination hardened his eyes into platinum.
“H-honey, you can let me go. And give my gun back.” Shepard fought the lingering need to let herself melt in Garrus’s arms. This wasn’t the time for things like that. They were in the middle of a mission, not having sex. There would be time later to go to bed and fuck away whatever pain remained after today. Her mind gave her a brief memory flash of sweaty handprints on the thick glass window of the observation lounge. Bed wasn’t the only option.
Garrus only released her after a quick kiss, during which he slipped the pistol back into her thigh holster. Shepard broke away reluctantly. She couldn’t let herself be taken care of right now. She was the Commander, this was her squad. It was her role to take care of them. As Javik continued haphazardly burning his way through anything he found, Shepard followed along to look for anything interesting. A dead scout’s body had a message intended for an Asari named Ereba on the Citadel. Shepard found the Krogan vaguely familiar.
Her hand flew to her mouth when she finally placed him. “Oh fuck, this is Char.”
“Who the hell’s Char?” James asked.
“He and his girlfriend were having a spat over having kids. I encouraged her to give him another chance.” She bit back tears. “Ereba runs Blue Rose on the Citadel. That’s what… what he called her. Motherfucker was reciting a goddamn poem the first time I met them in Nos Astra.”
“Everyone loses someone,” Javik said. He exposed a large area ahead with the flamethrower.
“That doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve to be grieved. Ereba deserves to know what happened to him,” Shepard snapped. She picked up the message and copied it to her omni-tool. Hopefully she could deliver it in person, but if not she could find a way to send it. She lost her fight with the tears reading it.
Ereba,
My beautiful blue rose, even here in this dark cavern awaiting my death, the deep roots of your love continue to flourish. Know this, you will be the last thought on my mind. I’m only sorry that I’ll never get to meet our little Niamh. Everything I’ve done is to make the galaxy safer for her to grow up in. The Void may hold my soul, but it will never hold my heart. – Love Char.
“You’re too soft,” Javik muttered. “Losses against the Reapers are expected, calculated, and acceptable.”
“Go fuck yourself, Javik,” Shepard barked. “There are no acceptable losses.”
“For which side, Shepard?” Javik exposed a new, wider area with floors filled with bioluminescent liquid that dripped from the ceiling. The mechanical tentacle feet of a Reaper could be seen perched atop a massive freestanding stalagmite.
“Don’t you fucking try and screw with my goddamn head right now.” Her voice came out as a low growl. “Against the Reapers, there’s only one side that matters.” Shepard saw both James and Garrus take half-steps back from her, but Javik held firm. Shepard kept up the pressure until he blinked his four eyes. Only then did she turn towards the open cavern and hop off the ledge, descending the natural terraces down to the glowing puddles on the floor.