Chapter Text
Rey had hit her head very hard. It was the type of pain that sent shockwaves down your body if you moved in the wrong way. Kylo lifted her up and gently laid her back in the bed. He sat on the edge of bed and brushed his hands softly against her skin in attempts to comfort her.
Rey let out a sigh of relief, embracing his touch. After the intimacy of what they just experienced, Rey found no reason not to. She acknowledged she was beginning to trust him again, which made her nervous. However, she couldn’t help herself. No one had ever touched her so gently and deep down she desired for it to continue.
“I’m going to have an ice pack sent up for you, I’ll be right back.” Kylo explained, he held her arm for a moment. Kylo’s heart raced with concern for her, and as he stood he had to push down the instinct to kiss her forehead before exiting the room. He left swiftly, focusing on the ice pack.
Rey laid in the bed wincing at her pain. Despite the discomfort, she embraced the feeling of being taken care of. It was like a drug. It was unsettling, wonderful, and scary all at the same time. She tried to focus on the bigger picture. What had just happened? Who was Kylo talking about? Were the visions of their souls true? If so, what did it all mean?
Feeling warm, she sat up taking Ren’s shirt off and tossed it to the floor. He’d seen her breast twice at this point, no reason to sit around and be uncomfortable. If her head didn’t ache so bad she would have slapped her own face at that thought. She was more uncomfortable with being warm than Kylo kirffing Ren seeing her boobs. What reality was she living in? She questioned if she should put the shirt back on.
Rey let her mind spiral until Kylo came back. He walked in with the ice pack and a tea tray. He set the tray on the bedside table and grabbed the ice pack from it. Kylo sat close to Rey holding the ice pack to the spot of her head she had impacted.
“Thank you,” Rey mumbled. “You’re welcome,” Kylo replied in a soft tone. Rey felt the cold on her head and enjoyed the relief. She watched as Kylo grabbed a tea cup from the tray, the cup looking so tiny in his hand. He sipped the drink gazing off into the distance. Rey took the ice pack from him. He moved his hand away hesitantly, she could tell he was still dazed.
“What just happened?” Rey asked, trying to meet his eyes in the dark room. Kylo looked down with a concerned look on his face. “You know better than anyone, Rey. There are people in the galaxy who’d like to see my downfall. I’m facing the very real possibility of an internal rebellion within The First Order. It doesn't take a genius to figure out they are being led by General Hux. However, something has eluded me- who is backing him?” Kylo turned from her, losing himself in thought.
Rey was surprised he was sharing this information so willingly, he really must not perceive The Resistance as a threat. Despite his willingness to share, Rey did actually already know that information. She sat up groaning, holding the blankets close to cover herself, the discomfort of how badly she ached was written across her face. Her body sore in ways that had nothing to do with her recent head injury.
Kylo registered her discomfort as she sat up. “Are you alright?” He turned to her, examining the exposed parts of her body. Rey stifled her nervous laughter “I’m okay, just um-” she was glad the room was dark so he couldn’t see her blush, “I’m very sore.”
It was like Rey had been hit by a speeder. Her thighs felt stiff and from her lower back down it felt like she had been torn in half. Rey swore she gained flexibility from her recent activities. Her entrance was throbbing in a terribly pleasant way, and Rey felt mortified in the way she relished in her pain. That’s truly what it was- pain. Everything hurt as if her body had been rearranged and then put back together. Unfortunately, she loved the feeling.
Kylo turned and covered his face with his hand. “My apologies.” He mumbled into his hand. Rey laughed, grinning like a child. He turned to her confused, “why are you laughing?” Which only caused Rey to laugh more.
“I just find it amusing when you apologize. “The mighty Kylo Ren” apologizing for being too rough with his arch nemesis. It just- ah- well I appreciate the apology.” Rey sighed, it seemed every second that passed their boundaries became less and less. It felt so completely natural and good to be blunt and honest, to tease him and be… normal.
Kylo stared at her puzzled, he supposed her words made sense. He had been apologizing a lot to her lately, and that was odd. Kylo Ren didn’t apologize to anyone. And yet, here he was continuously doing so to his “arch-nemesis.” Well certainly that couldn’t be the truth anymore. Then, what were they?
They didn’t want to kill each other personally. It was still their duty to, more so hers than his. But Kylo hoped she’d grown a little more attached to him in the past few days and maybe that duty would be harder to follow through on. Still they fought on opposite sides of a war, one Kylo felt confident he was winning. Did she really think The Resistance still stood a chance? If she could understand her ship was sinking would she finally join him? Would she understand that if what he believed to be true, was true, the danger that lies ahead was much more dangerous than The First Order?
“My brain was quiet. For the first time in my life- silence. But, now… I fear the voices are back and I’m terrified of the implications.” Kylo said in a hollow voice, gazing out his dark window. Rey leaned in closer, desiring to know more. “Voices?” She asked.
“When I was a small- very small- child, I began having nightmares. They were always the same, I was being chased by darkness. It came in many forms, sometimes it was him- Darth Vader. Sometimes it was of my Uncle dying, and it was my fault. Or it was my parents admitting to hating me. In the beginning it was just black smoke and blue lightning that would tear though my dream body until I awoke-”
Kylo sat breathing heavily, bearing his soul in a way he never had before. It was terrifying to be this open but now that he started he couldn’t stop. Rey watched in shock as he continued on. “I would scream, waking my parents up. They were so scared. At first it was for me, but then it developed into fear of me. My father didn’t want me to go with my Uncle, he’d argue with my mother endlessly. It'd be best I stayed away from all this “woo-woo nonsense” as he’d say.” It felt strange speaking of his father this way.
Rey watched in gripping fascination, honored by his vulnerability. “As my powers grew so did their fear, and we began seeing my father less and less. He fell into old habits, gambling and smuggling. I wondered where the war hero I learned about in school went. My mother did her best but I was hardly a priority. I’d open up to her about my visions and despite her encouraging words I could see in her eyes I scared her. I knew her and my Uncle whispered the words “like vader” behind my back.” The reality of himself was coming back like a tidal wave and the emotions began bubbling forward.
“So they sent me to live with my Uncle, three years earlier than intended. As my powers grew so did the voices. All the things the voices told me in my youth had come true. My parents were separated and scared of me. I was being compared to a dead man I never met. The only thing left was the destruction of my uncle…” The memories had the answers he was looking for. His compulsive obsession with history became more clear than ever.
“The voices became louder and louder, until I could no longer contain my insanity. It came out in my training. I’d always been too emotional to be a jedi. Anger and regret had no place at the temple, the more my Uncle Luke told me to release my anger the angrier I became.” Kylo’s voice began to shake as the memories came back to him. “Didn’t I have a right to be angry? I had lost everything. I was alone, and even the people who claimed to love me had turned their backs on me. The only thing I had left were the voices, they had at least been honest with me…”
Rey understood this anger, the feeling of the most desolate isolation. She began realizing something as he spoke. Just because you’re surrounded by people, it doesn't make you not alone. It was a loneliness she could feel burning in her chest. The abandonment of those who still stood beside you was not that different from those who left you completely.
Rey moved closer to him, drawing circles on his exposed skin. “I understand.” Kylo let out a massive sigh, burying his head in his hands. “Thank you.” He cried as Rey continued comforting him.
Eventually, Rey moved over and adjusted the cover indicating silently for him to lay back down. Kylo hesitated but eventually climbed back into the bed overwhelmed, laying on his back. Rey laid on her side facing him, close to him but not enough to touch. The silence lasted a long time, Rey closed her eyes thinking maybe they’d fall asleep.
“You were alone on Jakku- how did that happen?” He asked tentatively. Rey fluttered her eyes open. “I don’t really know the full story- it’s like you said, I’m a nobody.” Rey felt a bit scorned he was bringing that back up again. She laid on her back, shifting away from him. Kylo responded by turning on his side to face her.
“You know that’s not what I meant.” He insisted, feeling emotional that she was letting her emotions get in the way of her thinking. “I meant it as a compliment.”
Rey laughed bitterly. “Well, then you have some way of complimenting others.” This was their dynamic, Rey becoming entrapped by his soft side just to receive whiplash from forgetting how annoying he could be.
“I offered to let you rule the galaxy with me! How is that not a compliment?” He asked with a strange amount of sincerity. Rey rolled over to look at him, their faces now merely inches apart. “Because you literally told me, and I quote: you have no place in this story, you are nothing.” She said with a bite in her voice.
Kylo tenderly grabbed the side of her face “but, not to me.” He said finding her eyes in the darkness. Rey didn’t understand, “what?”
“But, not to me.” Kylo looked at her blank confusion “that’s what I said.” Rey blinked at him with curiosity. Yes, she had heard him say it. Yet, she still couldn’t understand it fully.
“The whole galaxy could toss you aside, pretend you don’t exist. Your parents might have not been important, perhaps it felt like your life before you left Jakku was meaningless. But, to me, none of that matters. Everything about you is important to me, everything about you fascinantes me. I’d place my odds on you being the most powerful woman in the galaxy, and that’s who I want at my side. That’s what I meant, I’m sorry I didn't say it better when I had the chance.” Kylo looked at her dreamily and before he could say anything else Rey had leaned in gently kissing him.
Kylo followed her lead, he grabbed her waist pulling her in closely. The soft kisses accelerated turning into passionate ones. Kylo explored her back with his hand, his rough fingers tracing her smooth skin. Rey ran her fingers through his hair, pushing herself into his body. They kissed and kissed until they both ran out of breath. As Rey pulled away she whispered “thank you.” Into his lips so that he could feel her speak.
Kylo’s skin tingled at the sensation of her words. “So, I will protect the entire galaxy, if that’s what it takes to keep you safe.” They were past the point of no return.
Rey pulled back a bit, gazing into his eyes. “What do you mean?” She asked. Kylo gave her a serious look, “this has all been to say one simple thing. I’ve discovered the owner of the voice in my head. He orchestrated my rise and fall, he has meddled with my family and this galaxy for the last time. I will uphold the Skywalker Legacy and I will put an end to his reign. You empower me, and with that empowerment I will protect the galaxy to protect you and free us all.” The intensity of Kylo’s voice scared Rey, she held onto him tighter.
“What are you saying, Ben?” She asked, gripping his arm, drunk off his words. “The Emperor is still alive, he is the one funding The First Order’s internal rebellion. Together we will discover him, and end him once and for all. What do you say, Rey? Will you join me?” There was a tremor in his voice, revealing his fear of being rejected by her again.
She gazed into his eyes, she saw the path to the light shining through them. Rey hoped her friends would forgive her for this. She saw now this was bigger than herself, bigger than Kylo Ren, bigger than The Resistance and The First Order. There was no other way, and there was no point in pretending she wasn’t tied to Ben Solo’s fate.
She kissed him deeply. “I will join you.”