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Chapter Text

Phineas was the first to notice it at dinner that night. The Flynn-Fletcher family was gathered around the table eating dinner and discussing their day. Candance was of course trying to bust the boys again claiming that had built a gigantic structure that stretched high enough to hit the moon. 

“Mom!” She whined. 

“Candance, I want to hear another word. Finish your dinner.” 

Candance sighed, “Fine…” 

“Honestly Candace, if you can figure out a way to stop these imaginary dangerous structures from “flying away” then I’ll bust the boys.” 

“But it did fly away!” 

Their mother put down her fork and glared at Candance the only way a mother could. “Not one more word young lady.” 

Candance opened her mouth, but thought better of it. She picked sullenly at her dinner wondering how she could stop this “mysterious force” from stealing her brothers’ inventions. 

Their father laughed, “Maybe one day Candance you just gotta stay positive. That’s my girl!” 

Candance just rolled her eyes and sighed. 

Phineas’ chair was closest to Perry, so only he could hear the quiet hacking from the platypus. 

“You okay boy?” 

Linda raised her head, “What’s that Phineas?” 

Phineas frowned and rested a hand on Perry’s back as the platypus coughed. “It’s Perry Mom. I don’t think he’s feeling great.” 

“Oh poor thing what’s the matter?” 

Perry the Platypus was hunched over his food bowl refusing to eat his food resisting the urge to retch as the sickly meaty smell assaulted his nose. 

Linda crouched beside him to coax him to eat but still he refused. “His breathing seems a little fast,” She said. “Maybe he’s sick.” 

Perry’s strange behavior continued as the boys got ready for bed. He refused to settle, turning around in circles on Phineas’s bed while the boys brushed their teeth. Every once in a while, Perry would let out a displeased chatter.

Ferb went to sit next to him scratching in that spot behind the ears that he loves. “Does his stomach look swollen to you, Phineas?” 

“Now that you mention it...” Phineas sat next to Ferb. He ran his hand over Perry’s taut belly swollen as if the teal colored platypus had eaten too much during the time he disappeared that afternoon. Perry growled at him and Phineas snatched his hand back. “He’s never growled at us before.” He said in shock. “Did you eat too much before dinner Perry?” 

Perry rested his head on his front paws with a sigh, wishing he could tell them what was wrong. His head felt foggy and nausea roiled in his heavy stomach. He shifted out of Ferb’s uncomfortable grip. The slight movement caused the bile in his stomach to make an appearance. 

The two boys jumped up in disgust. “Ew Perry!” 

Perry shrank back on Phineas’s bed looking miserable. Phineas and Ferb immediately regretted their shouts. 

“We’re sorry Perry,” Phineas said as started to pull the sheets off the bed. “We didn’t mean to yell. You must be really sick. Don’t worry Mom will take you to the vet as soon as she can.” 

While Phineas changed the sheets Ferb went to the sink to wash Perry off. The warm water ran soothingly over his fur, calming him. Ferb worked quickly, drying the platypus off, then placed him back on Phineas’s bed. The water made Perry sleepy and he yawned, eyes heavy with sleep he curled up on the fresh sheets with Phineas just before he fell asleep he thought he heard a familiar accented voice whispering in his ear, “I love you.”

A few days ago…

Perry the Platypus was curled in Ferb’s lap underneath the large tree in the boys’ backyard. The sun cast shadows on the ground, the air warm and tranquil, it was the perfect summer day to build an invention. What invention the boys would build was still a mystery as Phineas could not decide between a giant gumball machine or the world’s largest bouncy ball. 

Phineas spread the blueprints before him. 

“What do you think we should build today, Ferb?” Phineas asked. Ferb was about to reply when a certain girl popped into their backyard. 

“Hey, Phineas, hey Ferb, whatcha doing?” 

Phineas’s eyes lit up, “Hey Isabella!” 

Isabella flounced in and parked herself right next to Phineas.     

“We’re just deciding what to do today.” Phineas continued. 

Isabella clapped her hands together happily, “I have an idea I'd like to share! It came to me in a dream, I think we should try to build something using everything but our hands.” 

“Great idea.” Phineas said. 

Ferb nodded to show his agreement and gave Perry a scratch under the chin.

“Dreams are a great source of inspiration.” Baljeet strode in followed by Buford who rolled his eyes. “My dreams must be telling something ‘cuz I keep dreaming of my Mom’s casserole.” 

“That would mean you’re hungry.” Baljeet said all knowingly. 

“Nope,” Buford immediately denied this fact, “have you eaten my Mom’s casserole? It’s better to ask questions later and eat first.” Burford shuddered violently. 

Baljeet, staring at Buford in shock, had no reply to that. 

Isabella laughed nervously, “Uh, hey, where’s Perry?” 

Said platypus was hiding around the corner of the house. Once he saw that his owners were distracted he slipped away and put on his hat. Perry pressed a hidden button and a section of the house slid open in perfect shape for a platypus to jump into. He quickly slid through the tube down into his lair, landing on his chair with practiced ease. 

“Hello Agent P.” 

Perry blinked at the black screen wondering where Major Monogram’s voice was coming from. 

“Is this thing on?” Major Monogram complained to Carl, tapping the screen. 

“Oops, sorry sir.” Carl pushed something and Major Monogram appeared on the now bright, blue screen. 

Major Monogram sighed, then addressed Perry. “There you are Agent P. Punctual as always.” 

Perry allowed himself a small smile. He was always on time. 

“Anyway, we have footage of a platypus rampaging downtown.” Footage of said incident was briefly shown on the screen.

Perry let out a displeased chatter that meant something like, “It wasn’t me! It must be Doofenshmirtz up to his old tricks again.” 

The video footage disappeared; Major Monogram’s disapproving face once again filled the screen. “You’d better get the bottom of this Agent P or I’ll have no choice, but to fire you.” 

Perry blinked in shock, then saluted Major Monogram. Perry would do anything to clear his name and knew just where to start. His hover car appeared behind him and he jumped in with relish. 

“Good luck, Agent P!” 

 Perry zoomed out of his liar as fast as he could. 

“Is he gone Carl?” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“Good.” Major Monogram put his head in hands and let out a loud wail. “Agent P! What has become of my best agent?” 

“Would you like a tissue sir?” Carl held out a tissue to Major Monogram who took it gratefully. 

“Thanks, Carl.” Major Monogram dried his eyes. “We shall never speak of this again.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! 

Perry landed his hover car on Heinz Doofenshmirtz's balcony. He jumped out expecting to be trapped upon his arrival, but nothing happened. Confused, he strode inside the building. It was quiet. Too quiet. That was unusual for Doofenshmirtz, usually he’d be making so much noise from his monologues and their fights that Perry wished he had a pair of earmuffs just to drown that annoyingly, husky voice. Perry gulped. Where was the “evil” scientist? 

Perry held his hands up defensively, just because Doofenshmirtz wasn’t around didn’t mean he wasn’t hiding in the shadows for a sneak attack. His heart thudded in his chest. His palms felt clammy.

Suddenly, something heavy smashed into his back knocking him to the ground. Perry let out a surprised squeak as Doofenshmirtz cackled. 

“I caught you Perry the Platypus!” 

Back at the Flynn-Fletcher house the boys, Isabella, Burford, and Baljeet were using their feet, elbows and teeth, to build an invention. So far it was going slowly. They were working on hammering nails into wood, clutching the hammer between their teeth, when Candance walked into the backyard. 

“What are you doing?” She asked accusingly. 

“Well,” Phineas said, “We’re trying to build an invention using everything but our hands and fingers.” 

“Riiiight,” Candance backed away slowly, “I’ve got my eyes on you.” 

“Oooh,” Baljeet shivered, “I just felt a shiver go up my back. Your sister is scary.” 

Phineas and Ferb looked at Baljeet. 

“What?” 

Perry couldn’t move. Heinz Doofenshmirtz had him pinned belly first to the floor, hands and feet trapped on all four of Perry’s limbs. No matter how much he struggled, Perry couldn’t free himself. He could do nothing, but thrash his tail, angrily. 

“Oh, calm down Perry the Platypus,” Doofenshmirtz’s voice came as a throaty whisper against his ear. Perry flinched as the evil scientist’s breath made his ear twitch. He wiggled even more fiercely desperate to free himself, but he was trapped for as long as Doofenshmirtz wanted and for some reason that thought excited him. He pushed that specific thought to the back of his mind; he must remain professional. 

“All this wriggling around and we’re going to have a problem, Perry the Platypus.” 

Perry stilled at that sentence. He couldn’t mean…Perry shook his head fiercely. Idiot! He berated himself. That’s not what Heinz means so why… Why did that deeper implication stir desire in him? Why was it every time Heinz Doofenshmirtz, his nemesis for god’s sake, every time he trapped Perry–why did he want it to go further? The previous times, Doofenshmirtz trapped Perry flew into his mind before he could stop them. The one time he used a machine to trap his limbs spread eagle in the air, or the other time he was wrapped tight in a rope, or that other time when he was suspended from the ceiling dangling in Heinz’s face his bill inches apart from Heinz’s lips. Inches apart from… kissing his nemesis . 

Perry the Platypus knew it was strange, wrong even for an agent to fall for their nemesis, especially when that nemesis was a human . So, he kept those feelings under lock and key. Never allowing himself to fantasize about Heinz touching him, fucking him, kissing him… 

Perry let out an involuntary groan, heat flared in the pit of his belly.

The weight on his back lifted, allowing him to breathe normally and pretend he hadn’t let those desires overtake his body for a brief second. Perry could feel himself half hard already. When he turned to face Doofenshmirtz, his heart leaped into his throat.

“Surprised, Perry the Platypus?” 

Heinz Doofenshmirtz stood in front of him, but he wasn’t the Doofenshmirtz Perry knew. This Doofenshmirtz was a…a… 

“Oh, come on, tell me you're at least a little surprised. Yeah?” Doofenshmirtz cackled. “I’m a platypus like you!” 

And a very attractive one. That thought flew into Perry’s mind before he could stop it. Heat rose on his cheeks. He pulled the brim of his hat low over his face to hide the blush that threatened to spread.

“What better way to trap my nemesis than to turn into my nemesis!” 

When he shouted “nemesis” Doofenshmirtz launched himself at Perry. Caught off guard, Perry allowed himself to be thrown back against Doofenshmirtz’s ‘inator. 

He dodged the next punch Doofensmhirtz threw at him. 

“Stay still!” 

This time Doofensmhirtz managed to once again trap Perry on the floor. They were face to face. Bill to bill. Inches away from each other. Electricity flared between the two. 

Eyes to eyes they stared at each other; Perry’s mouth went dry. 

Suddenly Doofenshmirtz felt something hard poke his belly. “Oh Perry the Platypus,” he tutted, “You like this don’t you?” 

Ashamed that his secret had now been found out Perry turned his head to the side avoiding Doofensmhirtz’s searing gaze. 

“There’s another reason I turned myself into a platypus.” 

Perry shut his eyes, his heart threatened to burst out of his chest. 

Heinz Doofenshmirtz leaned into his nemesis’s ear and said as softly as the wind outside. “I like you.” 

Perry’s knee jerked up, knocking the wind out of Doofenshmirtz. 

Doofenshmirtz rolled to the side weezing. 

Perry made a mad dash for the balcony. He ran. He ran from Doofenshmirtz. He ran from his feelings. He didn’t want to surrender to these feelings, but he feared he already lost, and he was right. 

“Perry the Platypus, wait! Just, h-hold on a second. Wait!” Doofenshmirtz rolled to his feet, calling desperately to the teal blob that rushed past him. 

Perry slowed. 

“C-can we just talk this out?” 

Perry lifted his head and shot his nemesis a look that said, “No. We can’t talk this out. I’m a platypus and you’re a human. Most of all you’re my nemesis. We’re enemies.” 

Heinz didn’t understand this of course, but he got the gist from the look Perry gave him. 

“I’m a platypus right now, I want…I want you.” he finished lamely. “Perry the Platypus I’ve never felt this way about the other people I’ve dated. Er tried to date. I’ve thought about this a lot. I don’t care that you're a completely different species!” 

Seeing that he was going into a long monologue Perry figured he should at least hear him out. 

Heinz cleared his throat nervously. Now that the moment was here it felt like the words were stuck in his throat like thorns. “For the past few days all I could think about was you. That little noise you make, the way you thwart me and my inators–I can’t get enough of you. I’ve made my decision. I want you. I don’t want to be lonely anymore. I like you. Do you like me?” 

Perry knew what his answer should be– had to be. But something made him pause. Maybe it was the way Heinz was staring at him desperate for an answer or maybe it was the alluring figure of his platypus body. Whatever it was made Perry walk over to Heinz and kiss him. 

Doofenshmirtz let out a surprised sound as their bills crashed together. 

“I take it that is an enthusiastic yes.” 

Perry chirred at him, twining their tails together. 

Doofenshmirtz blushed, feeling a spurt of boldness he pushed Perry onto his back, gently this time. 

Perry let him. He had resigned himself to his fate. He was in love with this man. This silly, semi-evil man. 

Perry squirmed with pleasure as Doofenshmirtz ran his paws down to his chest. “Let me hear you, Perry the Platypus.” 

Small, whimpers made their way out of Perry’s throat as Doofenshmirtz grew more bold with his actions each passing moment. His bill nuzzled the side of Perry’s neck affectionately. 

Perry nearly lost it when Heinz started nuzzling his stomach. Instinct made him squirm even harder in the scientist-turned-platypus's grip. 

“ Easy Perry the Platypus.” Doofenshmirtz murumed into his ear. “Grab my arms if that’s easier. Yeah that’s it.” 

Perry was sure he was quite that enchanting sight in Heinz Doofenshmirtz’s eyes. His bill slathered with saliva, open as he panted hard, his tongue flicking desperately inside Doofenshmirtz’s mouth wanting more. 

They moaned together. 

They breathed in each other’s fragrance. Perry musky with a hint of seawater and Doofenshmirtz a sharp scent of sandalwood. 

Then the first finger breached his insides. Perry squeaked in alarm at the foreign intrusion. He immediately clenched down on that long slender finger. 

Heinz hissed in pleasure. “It’s one finger Perry the Fussapus. I wonder what your expression would look like if I added another one, hmm?” 

 Perry gave one of his famous chatters that meant something like “Please fill me to the brim. I beg of you Doofenshmirtz. My nemesis .” 

Heinz Doofenshmirtz was happy to indulge Perry’s wishes. He added another finger. Wetness dripped out as Perry’s cock finally made itself known. 

“So cute.” Heinz said. He couldn’t resist giving that tiny cock the barest hint of a lick on its slit. 

Precum dribbled out splashing onto both their teal-colored fur. 

Perry writhed clutching onto Doofenshmirtz’s arms for dear life. How did it come to this? How did Agent P. find himself at the mercy of Heinz Doofenshmirtz thrashing on his floor as his nemesis speared him open with only two fingers? What a fit Major Monogram would have if he discovered his best agent fucking one of his major thorn-in-the-side scientists. 

A third finger was all Perry needed to release his pent up frustration. His head fell back as the blood rushed to his head. Darkness crowded at the edges of his thought. Dimly, he heard Doofenshmirtz telling him to breathe. So he did. He took deep calming breaths as he came down from the clouds. His fur felt sticky where his cum had landed, yet he found himself not caring, only wanting more.  

Doofenshmirtz stroked Perry’s fur. “That’s my little one. My schatz. My darling.” 

Perry shivered in delight at the affectionate names Heinz was calling him in German. 

A warm, wet tongue licked his limp cock. The fingers buried inside his hole drew out leaving him aching to be filled. 

“Are you ready, Perry the Platypus?” 

Perry gave a weak chirr. 

Heinz took that as affirmations and gently probed at Perry’s entrance with the tip of his cock. 

Please. Even though I know it’s wrong I want you to fill me up. I shouldn’t love you, but I do. I love you. I love you. I love you! 

Bit by achingly bit, Heinz inched slowly in. 

The hot tip pierced inside Perry with a moment of pain. He cried out, but Heinz covered his mouth with his own silencing any pleas. “It will feel better in a moment my dear.” 

Perry held onto those words. He exhaled as Heinz slowly moved into the hilt. Lifting his head, Perry could see his stomach distended with the amount of cock it was holding snug in his insides. 

Finally, Doofenshmirtz was inside Perry as far as he could go. “I’m going to start moving now okay?” 

Perry gave him a weak look that said “Just move already!” 

Pain soon gave away to white-hot pleasure as the pounding started. It went on and on, never slowing down. It stayed at a hard, fast pace. Obscene sounds coupled with their moans filled the lab as Heinz’s cock slapped inside Perry the Platypus. 

Perry was so tight and warm. “Loosen up for a bit, darling?” 

Perry tried to, but his hole clenched thirstily around the rounded, hot rod slamming into him. His back scraped against the ground so hard Perry wondered if he was bleeding, but he didn’t care. He only wanted more. He wanted Heinz Doofenshmirtz, like an addiction. 

Kiss me. Perry keened at Heinz desperate for more kisses and affection. Can you kiss me more? 

Doofenshmirtz could feel himself coming close to the end. With one last thrust, he released everything inside his nemesis. 

Sticky, liquid leaked onto the floor, but Heinz would clean that later. Right now all his attention was transfixed on Perry’s expression. 

The platypus had his eyes screwed tightly closed. His bill however hung open as he panted hard. 

A tingling, pleasant feeling spread through Doofenshmirtz’s body. “Looks like time’s up Perry the Platypus.” 

Carefully, Heinz pulled out his arms and grew long as did his legs and feet until he was back in his original human body, towering over the small, exhausted platypus on the ground. 

Doofenshmirtz took off his coat wrapping the platypus in it. 

Perry stirred slightly, almost knocking his hat off. His belly felt heavy and warm with the love Doofenshmirtz spilled into him. Dimly, Perry felt himself being lifted and wrapped in something soft before he was laid down on a bed.  A fan flicked on blowing cool air over Perry’s aroused body. He chirred, curling on his side to rest.  

I love you . Doofenshmirtz whispered in German. 

I love you too. Perry chattered back. Lips briefly pressed against his temple. Then Perry allowed himself to sink into a deep sleep.

Chapter Text

Perry’s body felt heavy when he awoke. His pried opened his eyes, sticky with sleep, and sat up. Heinz was snoring softly next to him. Perry’s heart grew fond as he stared at the sleeping scientist’s face; as he remembered what had transpired just hours before.

Frantically, he glanced at his watch. It was already five o’clock, Monogram would be wondering where his best agent was. Perry the Platypus jumped off the bed and ran, or rather waddled heavily over to his jetpack on the balcony each step sending pain shooting from his lower body. Wincing, he fumbled with the straps of his jetpack, but the strap across his stomach wouldn’t clasp properly. Perry groaned. He should have known his stomach would be too swollen with Doofenshmirtz’s seed to fit into his jetpack. Giving up, he went into the bathroom; jumping onto the edge of the sink, he gasped as he saw his reflection. His beautiful teal fur was covered with sticky cum, his eyes were lust-blown and his cloaca was rubbed red and raw. He averted his eyes embarrassed by his disheveled appearance. Heinz couldn’t hold himself back from ravenging Perry’s supple body. Yet Perry couldn’t summon up any resentment as he filled the sink with warm, soapy water. He sighed as he slipped into the water. It felt good to wash the sex off. Closing his eyes he rested his head on the tiled edge. It was a beautiful sink dotted with painted flowers. With his eyes closed, Perry could feel the heated memories of Doofensmhirtz’s hands on his body. As if his thoughts called out to him, the door banged open as Doofenshmirtz himself barged in with a frantic look in his eyes. He came to a stop as he noticed Perry soaking in the water. “I thought you left!” He exclaimed. 

Perry stepped out of the sink and grabbed a washcloth to dry himself. Wordlessly he jumped off the sink. 

“Where are you going?” 

Perry turned back and pointed to his watch. His expression said something like. “Major Monogram will be wondering where I am. I have to get back.” 

“Will you come back?” 

Perry shrugged. Maybe.

“Don’t leave!” Doofenshmirtz grabbed Perry from behind into a hug. “Don’t go yet, please. I love you.” 

There was that word again “love.” Did Heinz really mean it? 

Perry knew he was in love with the German scientist, but how would they make this relationship work? It was impossible…wasn’t it?

“Nothing’s impossible, Perry the Platypus.” Doofenshmirtz said as if he was reading Perry’s mind.

Perry struggled out of Doofenshmirtz’s grip and pointed to himself then back at Doofenshmirtz. 

“It can work!” Doofenshmirtz insisted. “I’m confident we can make this work. I love you!” 

Perry looked at his jetpack then back at Doofenshmirtz. Tears welled in his eyes. Is this what it felt to be loved wholeheartedly? If it was then Perry craved more. He craved the promises Heinz whispered in his ear as they made love. He craved the feel of his hand in his paw. He craved the soft touches, the gentle kisses. He craved it all. Perry the Platypus craved Heinz Doofenshmirtz. Perry the Platypus was in love with Heinz Doofenshmirtz. His longtime nemesis. 

He made the choice. He chose Heinz Doofenshmirtz. They shared a long passionate kiss filled with promises they both intended to keep. 

Present day…

Perry the Platypus and Heinz Doofenshmirtz kept up the charade of secret agent and evil scientist. On the surface they kept everything so normal that Major Monogram did not suspect a thing.

 Heinz kept up the inators although they were more tame than before and the desire to take over the tri-state area and overthrow his brother Roger took a backseat. Perry still answered when Major Monogram called, but he kept a careful eye on the strength behind his punches. The one thing that majorly changed was the traps. Before they were simple and easy to break free of, but lately Doofenshmirtz had been making them more elaborate. Perry had a harder time breaking out of them much to the delight of his lover. This always led to them having sex afterwards. Slowly, Perry grew used to Doofenshmirtz’s human cock although it was huge for his body to take; he always ended up limping the next day only to do it over again. But they both delighted in finding new ways of pleasuring each other. Perry especially loved it when Doofenshmirtz whispered sweet words into his ears as he carefully maneuvered into Perry’s tiny platypus body. Doofenshmirtz loved the part where Perry let himself go. The moans spilled from his mouth in his pleasure. His tiny hole clenching tight around the hot rod invading his insides to the expressions on his face; Heinz loved it all. He was so happy to finally find someone to love after Charlene. His heart was slowly healing. He was head over heels for this handsome platypus.  

“Feel this Perry the Platypus.” Doofemshimirtz manuvered Perry’s hand onver his stomach. “Can you feel my cock pushing into you? Invading you?” 

Perry could feel it. Oh, he could feel it. His stomach distended from that huge fleshy member slamming into him repeatedly. A whine spilled from his bill. His climax was close. With a gasp, sticky fluid spilled across his fur soaking into Doofenshmirtz’s hands. 

“I-I’m close to!” He yelled. 

Warmth filled Perry’s body as cum spilled into him. It was hot, so hot he fell backwards onto the sheets breathing hard. One paw was on his fedora and the other wrapped tightly in his lover’s hand. I love you. He communicated with his eyes. Heinz smiled and kissed him. “I love you too, Perry the Platypus.”  

Perry’s watch let out an annoying beeping sound that roused him from deep sleep. Groggily, he lifted his head fog crowding at the edges of his thoughts. He had been so, so tired recently and nauseous more so in the mornings than the afternoons. He tried to ignore it, since he had stayed up utill midnight with Doofenshmirtz afterwards he finally dragged himself home stubling exhausted into his own bed, he really did, but the beeping persisted. With a sigh he rolled over and dismissed the alarm. Perry stretched before lugging himself out of his soft, comfortable bed, his belly swaying beneath him, over to a hidden entrance in the side of the kitchen. 

Cadence’s voice filtered into the room from the open window to the backyard making Perry freeze. 

“But Mom! The boys built…er something in the backyard! A giant bouncy ball or something that they built with their arms and legs instead of their arms!” 

“Okay Cadence,” Linda’s voice sounded exasperated. “That seems unlikely to me. Besides, there was nothing in the backyard. Maybe you should take a day off with Stacy, after all Summer won’t last forever!” 

      Candane groaned and stomped away. 

Perry’s watch beeped again reminding him Major Monogram wanted to see him. It was an unusual tight fit in the pipe down to his secret lair. Perry shuffled around until he got himself going again. Weird. That had never happened before well unless you count that time Carl forgot to oil the plastic pipes or the time he was repairing a pipe and Perry fell out. 

At last Perry plopped heavily into his chair, wincing as the seat scraped against a tender part of him. 

“Good morning Agent P. Or should I say afternoon.” 

Perry yawned. Let’s just get this over with. 

Major Monogram looked at his notes. “It seems Dr. Doofenshmirtz has explicitly requested your assistance this afternoon which is strange since he usually does his work in the morning, but no matter.” 

Perry let a smile filter briefly across his bill. His lover was getting more bold in “requesting his assistance.” To which Perry took to mean Doofenshmirtz was impatient to see him and couldn’t be bothered to build an inator. How sweet of him. 

Major Monogram looked up from his notes to find Perry spacing out. “Agent P!” 

Perry the Platypus snapped back to attention with an apologetic look on his face. 

Major Monogram shook his head slightly, “Go, investigate and stop that Doof!” 

Sir! Perry saluted the major, then took off in his hover car. 

“Is it just me,” Carl stated. “Or has Agent P. become a lot more distracted recently? Tired too. I hope he’s feeling okay.” 

Major Monogram frowned. “Do you think I’m pushing him too much, Carl?” 

Carl opened his mouth to reply, but Monogram cut him off. “Don’t answer that Carl.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“Hmm.” Major Monogram looked at his notes. “Maybe I could give him a few days off. Some of the other agents could do with taking initiative.” 

“Sir, I can take initiative!” Carl said. That brief moment of hope was quickly quelled with Monogram said, “No, Carl your job is unpaid intern. And you’re doing a great job at it! Keep up the good work! What would I do without someone to get me coffee.” 

“You’d probably have a fit sir.” 

Monogram frowned. “That was rhetorical Carl.” 

Carl sighed, “Yes, sir.” 

“Now get me some coffee!” 

“Right away sir.”

In no time at all Perry the Platypus arrived at Doofenshmirtz’s abode. Although, lately he had been thinking of that place as his second home. 

“Perry the Platypus! What a pleasant surprise!” 

Perry jumped out of his hover car smiling as Doofenshmirtz ran over to him. 

“And by surprise I mean completely unsurprised!” 

Ah- here it was, Heinz Doofenshmirtz’s famous rope trap. Oh, did he love trapping Perry in ropes. It was all for show of course, but that didn’t mean Perry didn’t get a tingle of excitement when he was bound and unable to move completly at Doofemshmirtz’s mercy and how the thought excited him to his core. Perry couldn’t stop a delightful shiver run up his spine. 

He swayed gently back and forth in mid air. He licked his lips anticipating what was next. 

“Oops!” Heinz bent down to retrieve Perry’s fedora which had flown off when he was hoisted upside down by the ropes. “Your cute, little fedora fell off, Perry the Platypus.” 

Perry chattered his thanks as Heinz put it back on his head. 

“Anytime,” Doofenshmirtz whispered in Perry’s ear. He gave him a quick kiss, then pulled back laughing as Perry struggled to press their lips back together. 

“Not yet, my darling. You're gonna have to wait.” 

What a jerk. Perry thought frustratedly. “Krkrk.” he said, annoyed. All this hanging upside down wasn’t doing wonders for his morning nausea that was slow to clear up. He feared if he was upside down any longer he’d lose his lunch all over Doofenshmirtz’s clean floors. 

With a triumphant smile, Doofenshmirtz drew back the cloth covering his newest -inator. “Behold! My Switcharoo-inator!” 

Perry swung himself until he was facing Doofenshmirtz and the -inator. He huffed out a laugh; it was like he wasn’t even trying. 

“Now Perry the Platypus I can see you laughing! Yes, I can!” Heinz could hardly keep the laughter out of his own voice. To be completely honest this was one of the more tame inators than he’d previously made. “I’m going to create chaos by switching things all over the tri-state area! Just imagine you're sitting down for lunch at your favorite restaurant and the waiter brings out your food only to have it switched by a pile of smelly garbage!” He laughed loudly, throwing his arms up for effect. 

While Doofenshmirtz was distracted, Perry had secretly been working at the rope with a nail filer he’d hidden in his hat. Now that the time had come he broke free, landing unsteadily on the floor. Shaking his head to clear the spots from his eyes; he launched himself at Doofenshmirtz with a well aimed kick. 

Doofenshmirtz dodged him neatly. “Is that the best you can do Perry the Clumsypus?” 

Perry panted as he landed just beyond Doofenshmirtz and his Switcharoo-inator. The dizziness had returned, but Perry ignored it. He had to finish this fight to complete his report to Major Monogram. He launched himself at Doofenshmirtz again. His timing off Doofenshmirtz caught him with a kick of his own. Right in the stomach. 

A sound like they both never heard before was torn from Perry’s throat. He landed heavily on the ground clutching his stomach; writhing in pain. 

“Perry!” Doofenshmirtz immediately dropped his act, crouching next to the platypus. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to kick you so hard! I was just trying to heave you away. I didn’t mean it!” 

Gasping with pain, Perry pushed Doofenshmirtz away. It really hurt to fucking much to have another person hovering over him unsure of what to do. Spittle frothed at the edges of his bill. His head pounded so hard he could barely make out what Heinz was saying. He thought he heard him calling for Vanessa. He thought he saw faces too. First Major Monogram, his brow furrowed with worry, then it blurred and became Phineas and Ferb smiling at him. The boys looked so young. Was this the time they adopted him? Perry remembered that day. He was so happy to find a family. His secret wish was that he’d get to have a family of his own someday, even though he knew it was impossible, but maybe Doofenshmirtz could be that family. Perry was in too much pain to think clearly. He vomited up a mouthful of blood and succumbed to the growing darkness. 

Chapter Text

Perry snuggled deeper in his nest, his tail curling protectively around two pale-white, leathery eggs, with his bill touching his tail. Doofenshmirtz hovered next to him in his platypus form. 

“I’m so proud of you.” he whispered into Perry’s ears. “Our puggles will be the strongest in the world.” 

Perry smiled, relief washing over him. Doofenshmirtz loved the family they built together. Who knew? A tear slipped down his cheek. He was so happy. Suddenly the landscape changed and mist clouded his vision. The eggs he was protecting disappeared. Perry leaped out of his next chattering anxiously for his mate and children. 

“Where are you?!” he cried in pain. The family he so longed for…was gone. 

Perry spun around frantically searching, but found nothing except the desolate landscape stretching before him. He’d never felt, so alone in his life.  He sobbed, weariness dragged at his bones. He collapsed onto the ground as he sunk deeper into despair. 

A voice called his name enticing him to follow it. It grew louder as he reached for it. 

“Agent P!” 

His eyes flew open to see a white ceiling above him. A person with long dark hair and kind blue eyes was bending over him blocking his view. 

“Oh good, you’re awake!” they said, their ponytail swayed side to side as they straightened.

Perry struggled to sit upright. He was lying in a hospital bed with a thin sheet over him and a bandage around his ribcage. 

“Take it easy.” The person said, helping him sit up with one hand on his back. “You’ve been out for a while.” They propped his head on the pillows behind him. Perry winced in pain, his paws immediately going to cover his stomach. He chittered worriedly. What happened? Where was Doofenshmirtz? Why was pain radiating from his middle? Then he remembered. Doofenshmirtz had kicked him. Perry had been kicked by Doofenshmirtz plenty of times before, but never had he been in so much pain he’d passed out. Some unknown feeling, or instinct,  made him curl on his side, sheltering his belly protectively. His shoulders started shaking, as a quiet sob wracked his throat. 

“Breathe, Agent P.” The mysterious person stroked his fur to calm him down. “I’ll explain everything, but I think my uncle wants you to explain what you were doing with Doofenshmirtz first.” 

Uncle? Then Perry understood. Uncle must mean Major Monogram. 

The person nodded, “Yup. Major Monogram is my uncle. Well, technically I’m more of a niece twice removed or something like that. My name is Mona. I’m non-binary and the Veterinarian for all the agents, so you don’t have to worry about anything as long as I’m here!” 

Perry wiped his eyes and smiled weakly at them. 

“I’ll get Doofenshmirtz and he’ll tell you what happened, while I try to calm down my uncle. He’s not happy about the relationship the two of you have.” 

Perry winced. Did everyone at O.W.C.A know he was sort of…completely dating Heinz Doofenshmirtz? The Veterinarian looked back at him with one hand on the door knob. “Well, it’s hard to explain, but in simplest terms, yes, everyone knows you and Doofenshmirtz are an “item” and no I don’t care. Love is love no matter gender or in your case species.” With a swish of their lab coat they opened the door.The moment they disappeared Doofenshmirtz whirled in like an anxious hurricane. 

“Perry the Platypus!” he exclaimed, crouching next to Perry and grabbing his paw. “I’m so, so sorry!” It looked like he’d been crying. His eyes were red and puffy. “I didn’t mean to kick you so hard, not when you're in this condition.” 

 “It’s fine.” Perry tried to communicate with his facial expression; he patted Heinz’s hand. “I was partly to blame too. I wasn’t paying attention.” 

Something Doofenshmirtz said stuck out to him. What did he mean by “this condition?”

Doofenshmirtz must have seen the worry in his eyes, because he swallowed nervously, before saying. “I asked the vet, Major Monogram’s niece twice-removed, if I could be the one to tell you this…” he let his voice trail off into silence. 

The worry Perry was nursing since he woke up mounted. He sat up abruptly. What was going on? Why did Doofenshmirtz look so worried? What was wrong with him? Was he dying or something? These questions burned in Perry’s heart. He looked desperately at his love, clutching his hand tightly. 

“P-Perry the Platypus, you-you’re expecting.” 

Perry blinked. Expecting? Expecting what? What the hell did that mean? He growled at Heinz for an explanation. 

Doofenshmirtz gulped and guided Perry’s paw to his stomach. “I know you can’t feel it yet, but if you concentrate you might?” he gave a small shrug. 

Perry gently pressed down on his tender stomach. He gave a low chirr. There was…something there. It was so feather-light one could easily miss it. He gasped loudly, making Doofenshmirtz jump up in alarm. Was it true? Was this really happening? 

Doofenshmirtz gently covered Perry’s paw with his hand. “Perry the Platypus, you're pregnant with our eggs .” 

He was carrying eggs? He was carrying eggs! Tail curling with happiness, Perry stroked his gently rounded stomach. There was a hint of apprehension too. What did this mean? What would they do next? Don’t get him wrong. Perry was happy and all, but how did this happen? He was a male platypus through and through. How could he be carrying eggs? It just didn’t make sense. He stared anxiously at Doofenshmirtz who stared anxiously back. 

 “Aren’t you happy?” he asked. 

Perry made a small noise in his throat, his eyes soft and kissed Doofenshmirtz. 

Doofenshmirtz threaded a hand gently behind Perry’s head keeping him trapped against his lips, not that Perry minded. He embraced the kiss. There was no need for words. Whatever happened next, Doofenshmirtz supported him. Whatever decision was made they would work through it together as a team. 

The door slid open and Mona walked in, making the two jump guiltily apart. 

They held a clipboard in one hand. “All right, now that that's out of the way…” they took a seat next to Perry’s hospital bed and turned to the computer sitting on a sliding desk. “Monogram has some choice words for you Agent P, but I convinced him to wait until we are done. Carl’s with him now doing his best to calm him down. Man was he fuming!” 

Thanks. Perry blinked gratefully at the vet. 

Doofenshmirtz sat at the edge of the bed keeping his hand in Perry’s paw. 

Mona tapped a few keys on the keyboard. “Okay, I bet you’re wondering how you're able to conceive Agent P. Well, as far as I can tell…” They took the screen and swiveled it to show the two lovers. “Here you can see a womb has formed inside Agent P. He has the organs of both a male and female platypus. Much like an intersex human. This is a rare case. Possibly the only one. With my help I am confident the birth will go well if you still want to have the eggs.” They paused here, giving Perry and Doofenshmirtz time to digest the information. 

“So…” Doofenshmirtz said, “Perry the Platypus is able to have children because he has both traits of both genders?” 

Mona nodded, “Yes, like I said, he could be the only platypus that can carry eggs. He’s unique. That said, the birth will be very difficult. The rate of survival of both him and the eggs is low. What do you want to do?” 

Perry gulped. He and his children could die? He clutched his stomach tighter. He didn't want to die! He didn’t want his puggles to die either, but he wanted to see this through. Maternal instinct pulsed through him strongly. He wanted to protect his unborn eggs. He looked at Doofenshmirtz. 

“Are you sure?” he asked gently. 

Perry nodded. He was sure. 

“We want to see this through.” 

“Okay.” Mona swiveled the screen back to them and typed in something. “I will gather the necessary medication. Agent P. what should we do about your host family?” 

Perry started, he had completely forgotten that Linda had made an appointment for him at the veterinarian office. 

Phineas and Ferb. 

What would he tell them? He couldn’t just give up being with them could he? He loved his family. He wanted them to share in this new stage of his life, but knowing about his double life could put them in danger. 

“We’ve already got the appointment covered.” Mona said. “We can come back to the future later, but don’t leave it too long okay? You need to make a decision soon. I have a few options including memory wipe, but ultimately it’s your decision. Take some time and think it over, and remember you will start to show soon so don’t leave it too long okay?”  

Perry let out a chatter. He won’t, but a memory wipe? It just didn’t feel like the right thing to do. To erase his whole life away in the blink of an eye. He couldn’t do that to his owners.   

Doofenshmirtz stroked the fur next to Perry’s cheek lovingly. “You can always come live with me.” 

Perry sucked in a breath, did Doofenshmirtz mean that? When he looked at him he instantly knew he meant it. Doofenshmirtz’s eyes were glowing intensely. He nervously threaded his fingers together. “I had been meaning to ask you that for a while.” he blushed. “I was going to ask you today, but with everything that’s happened I didn’t get a chance to. Perry the Platypus would you like to move in together? So we could live together like proper b-boyfriends?” 

It was Perry’s turn to blush. Boyfriends . The thought had never occurred to him before. He had been thinking of Heinz as his lover, but “boyfriends” made their relationship all the more real . To live together like a real family, Perry wanted that. He chattered enthusiastically, but first he had to figure out how to tell Phineas and Ferb. 

After a long lecture with Major Monogram Perry was finally able to go home. On the way home, he rubbed his temples. He’d never seen Major Monogram that pissed before. 

The Major had stormed into the hospital room, steam practically shooting out of his ears. 

“Agent P!” he’d growled like an animal making the platypus shrink into his bed. “What is the meaning of this?!” 

“Sir!” Carl ran in after him. “Remember what we talked about? Take a deep breath.” 

Major Monogram did as Carl instructed, looking unhappy about it. He glared at Doofenshmirtz as if he could bore holes into his coat. 

Doofenshmirtz smiled nervously. “Hey, Mono-er Major Monogram.” 

“Why-why is one of my best agents fraternizing with the enemy?” Major Monogram spat through gritted teeth, barely hanging onto his temper. 

Heinz Doofenshmirtz pulled at his collar with shaky hands. “W-well, we-um-we fell in love.” 

“You fell in love.” Major Monogram echoed, bewildered. 

“For the record, sir” Carl butted in. “I think it’s sweet. I mean is Doofenshmirtz really evil ? Has he done anything that endangered the public?” 

Flames burned in Major Monogram’s eyes. “Yes he has!” 

Carl winced. “I mean seriously endangered the public’s lives? Like an alpha one level threat?” 

When he thought about it, no, not really. Except that one time when the other Doofenshmirtz from the second dimension invaded, but he had saved the world even if he didn’t remember it. 

Major Monogram let out a heavy sigh. “I guess I could put Agent P. on maternal leave.” 

Perry perked up at that. He had never gotten a day off in his life! It was nice to see Major Monogram be lenient for once. 

Mona clapped their hands together. “Yay uncle! I promise to do my best to help them!” 

Monogram pinched the bridge of his nose. “I still don’t like it.” 

Doofenshmirtz spoke up. “I promise that I have given up evil for good this time. I mean it.” He and Perry shared a long, loving look. “I've found something better to take over.”

“...” 

Major Monogram turned instantly to leave. 

Perry let a smug smile cross his bill. 

Carl was confused. “Does that mean you are still evil? What’s there to take over now?” 

Major Monogram dragged Carl by the back of his shirt. “Let’s go Carl.” 

“But sir, what did Dr. Doofenshmirtz mean by-”

“Carl, I mean it!” 

“Yes, sir.” 

Mona busted out laughing. “Poor Carl, someone needs to teach the boy things.” 

Arriving at his lair. Perry parked his hover car not forgetting to take off the bandage before he went inside. It was later than the usual time he got home. Hopefully the boys didn’t miss him too much. Panting with exertion, Perry crawled into the house through the kitchen window that Linda usually forgot to close. His belly swung beneath him as he jumped to the floor, throwing off his balance. He let out a concerned chitter, brushing his bill across his pregnant belly. Now that he was aware of it, Perry could feel the weight of his eggs dragging his stomach down. He would have to be careful to watch his step from now on. The house was dark and quiet as he took each step carefully up to Phineas and Ferb’s room. He nosed the door open. Both the boys’ were sound asleep as he crawled onto Phineas’s bed. The boy woke briefly as Perry curled under his arm. “There you are Perry.” he said through a yawn. “You’re back late. I wonder what you do all day.” Phineas went back to sleep, easily lulled by Perry’s familiar chatter in his ear unaware the platypus was trying to tell him about his newfound love and unexpected pregnancy 

Doof’s POV…  

Heinz let out a loud wail as Perry threw up blood and collapsed into his arms, his agent’s hat falling like a feather to the floor. “Perry!” 

Heinz didn’t know what to do. He felt awful that he’d driven Perry the Platypus to this level of pain. Blood dripped out of the platypus's mouth staining the lab floor. Heinz Doofenshmirtz called for his daughter Vanessa. 

She came barreling in frightened at how scared her father sounded. “Dad! What’s wrong?” she let out a loud gasp at the sight of her father on the ground covered in the teal agent’s blood. “What did you do?” 

“I didn’t mean it!” Heinz cried back. “I never meant to hurt him like this!” 

“Hold on, I’ll call Monty!” Vanessa whipped out her phone to call her boyfriend. 

Heinz sobbed, wrapping his body around his unconscious lover. “Perry the Platypus, please, please wake up. I'm so, so sorry. I never meant to hurt you like this.” 

Vanessa looked up from her phone. “He’s on his way with his dad.” 

Heinz sobbed even harder. “What am I going to do without you, c-curse you Perry the Platypus!” 

“Dad…,” Vanessa crouched next to her father on the floor and placed a hand on his shoulder. She could feel the love radiating from her dad to this small animal. “Do you love him?” 

Her father nodded, unashamedly saying, “I love him with all my heart. Perry the Platypus is my one true love.” 

I knew it. She thought. All those times they were fighting, somewhere along the way she knew that her father had fallen in love with Perry. The little signs like her father getting up later, how he shooed Norm away more often and generally seemed more happy. 

Monty and his father arrive soon enough. Monogram was livid the moment he stepped inside the penthouse he started shouting at Heinz. 

“How could you do this to my best agent!?”
“I never meant for this to happen!” Heinz yelled back. 

“Just stop it!” Vanessa broke the fight up. “Perry could be dying for all we know! It was an accident, Major Monogram, but please help him. You have to help him!” 

Major Monogram blinked at her authoritative tone, but he shrugged it off. “Of course, I will. There’s no one like Agent P. Our new veterinarian should be able to help him.” 

Once they got to O.W.C.A headquarters Perry the Platypus was immediately wheeled into a hospital room. He looked so small lying on that bed with his eyes closed. Heinz’s heart squeezed in pain for him. He held on tightly to Perry’s hand, Monogram’s eyes narrowed.

“I love you,” Heinz said to Perry. “I love you.” 

Heinz held onto Perry’s hand until the last moment, then he let go. The doors shut with Perry inside. 

“Why don’t we get some coffee?” Monty murmured to Vanessa, leading her away.    

Vanessa looked back at her dad. “Will you be okay dad?” 

Heinz sniffed, “Yeah,” he said his voice scratchy from crying. “You go on. I’ll be fine.” 

“If you are sure…” Vanessa let Monty lead her away. 

Carl looked at the closed door where Perry disappeared into, then at Doofenshmirtz’s distraught face. “Oh!” he exclaimed as if just realizing something. “Y-y-you and Agent P!?”

Heinz started, “Wait no…” he started to say but Major Monogram interrupted him pointing an accusing finger at Doofenshmirtz he said. 

“You and Agent P!” 

Heinz winced. 

“This is not acceptable! An agent should never date their nemesis.”

“I-I know…” Heinz swallowed uncomfortably. This was not how he pictured telling Major Monogram. If only he had the chance to speak to Perry the Platypus first. Crap, well now’s as good a time as any….I guess. 

Heinz straightened as much as he could and looked Major Monogram in the eye. “Yes, we are dating. I love him and he loves me.” 

Major Monogram’s eyes went wide, similarly though it was his smile, Carl did the same. 

“I knew it!” The unpaid intern said. “No wonder Agent P has been acting strange lately. He’s had a renewed interest in missions lately and seemed more energetic about them.”

“Really?” Doofenshmirtz asked. 

Carl nodded, “Yup!” 

Major Monogram sighed. “Carl, shut up.” 

“Yes, sir.” Carl immediately shut up. 

Before Major Monogram could say anything else the door opened and the vet stepped out. 

 They adjusted their black glasses. “He’s stable for now. A few broken ribs, but nothing serious. He’ll live.” 

Heinz collapsed in a nearby chair. “Thank God.” he murmured. 

The vet fidgeted nervously. “There is one thing of concern. Which is not too unusual for a platypus, but for Agent P. specifically.”

The three people in the hallway looked at the vet. 

“What do you mean?” Heinz asked nervously. “Did I do something even worse?” 

“Oh, no nothing like that.” Mona paused. “Well, depending how you look at it…” 

“Spit it out!” Major Monogram ordered. “What's wrong with Agent P?” 

“He’s pregnant.” Mona stated simply. 

Heinz’s mouth fell open. “W-what?” 

Major Monogram looked equally shocked. His mouth moved, but no words came out. 

Carl looked confused. “Doesn’t one have to be female to be pregnant? Did I miss something in sex ed?” he scratched his head. Surely, Agent P. would’ve told them if he was transgender right? 

 “Technically yes,” Mona said. “But nevertheless he has a uterus inside him and he’d have to mate with another platypus to get pregnant.” 

Heinz winced. Monogram’s gaze instantly snapped towards him. 

“I, uh, I might have used an -inator to turn myself into a platypus.” 

Mona snapped their fingers. “That would do it. It seems like your -inator must have changed Agent P’s anatomy somehow to even allow him to have children. Your DNA must have been altered to perfection too also allow him to conceive.”

Heinz put his head in his hands. “How do I tell him this?” 

Mona smiled, “Just tell the truth obviously! Why don’t you come see him? He’s awake and asking for you.” 

Heinz took a deep breath. 

“We’re not done talking about this!” Monogram shouted after him. 

Heinz ignored him. Perry came first. 

It went better than he expected. Perry was shocked at first, but that melted away to be replaced with joy. They were going to have a family, just the two of them. Of course Monobrow had to throw a fit about that, but Heinz worked through it. He had to for Perry’s sake even if Major Monobrow was his least favorite person. 

Mona was concerned about letting Agent P. go home so soon, but as long as he promised to rest for the next few days to let his ribs heal, they allowed it.

“It’ll be difficult to hide this from your family.” they had warned him. 

Perry chirred. He was strong. He wouldn’t let his family find out until the time was right.  He and Heinz shared a long kiss before returning to their homes for the rest of the night. 

“I’ll contact you soon.” Heinz had whispered into his boyfriend’s ear. Boyfriend. It felt so good to say that now that they were official. Major Monogram would come around soon enough. Heinz lay in his bed for a long time thinking about the future with his boyfriend. 

I must get him a ring. He thought. Perry the Platypus deserves at least that. Wouldn’t that be nice, calling him my husband. 

Chapter Text

「Nightcore」 Cruel Summer - Taylor Swift ♡ (Lyrics)

Harsh pants fell from Perry’s mouth as he squirmed on Heinz’s leg, whining loudly.  

“Eager today aren’t you Perry the Platypus?” Doofenshmirtz said with a smirk. His fingers curled inside Perry, sending tingles of electricity from his bill down his back making his teal fur bush out in pleasure.  

“Krk-krkr,” A broken moan left Perry’s mouth. He squirmed even more severely on Doofenshmirtz’s knees, knotting his paws into the silky material of Doof’s shirt.

“ Easy, Perry the Platypus.” Heinz hissed through a groan of his own. “You’ll soil my white shirt.” 

Perry did not care about that. He only cared about wanting more of his boyfriend; the pleasure Heinz brought him too with only a few fingers.  

With his other hand, Heinz rubbed at Perry’s dick; thumbing the slit with a light touch. 

Perry tiled his bill up until he could bring their lips together in a heated kiss. It was sloppy, but it was enough to have their tongues dance in each other’s mouth. 

“I love you.” Heinz moaned as Perry humped against his hand. 

I know. Perry chirred. I love you too. 

The hand from his dick slid down to rest against his stomach. 

“I can feel your eggs,” Heinz panted. “I can feel how full you are.” 

Perry absolutely loved Heinz’s deep husky voice. 

You’re mine and I am yours. Perry thought. 

Electricity ran up his bill, where Heinz kissed him, and down his spine. With a full body cry, he came with a violent shudder. He let himself collapse on top of his boyfriend. 

Heinz ran a hand down his back and over his pregnant belly. “You’re so good, my schatz .” 

Perry knew that was the word for darling. He chirred back to him. “My love.” 

Perry knew he should go home soon, but he wanted to savor this romantic moment. He arranged himself so he was straddling Heinz again. 

“You’re still not done, Perry the Platypus?” Heinz asked, surprised. 

Perry nodded. “ Not yet, I still want more.”

They kissed and Heinz lowered Perry onto his dick slowly. “Tell me if it’s too much.” Heinz said. 

Perry winced slightly as his insides were split open, his hole clenched down tightly. He felt so full with both Heinz and his eggs inside him, with gentle movements Heinz maneuvered Perry up and down expertly hitting that sweet spot they both loved. 

Perry threw his head back, kenning a high pitched noise of pleasure. Oh, how he loved this. Heinz deep inside him fucking him as tenderly as possible. 

Heinz rubbed the front of Perry’s belly feeling his eggs shift underneath his hand. 

“Is this too much?” he asked. 

A blush formed across Perry’s face that said, “Of course not, it is not enough .” 

  Heinz chuckled, “You want more. I see. Anything you want just ask, my schatz .” 

Heinz’s hand came away from Perry's stomach wet with milk. He licked his fingers, keeping his eyes on  Perry. “ Delicious ,” he murmured. 

Perry trembled with joy. How was Heinz so hot when he did the smallest movements?

Heinz could feel himself close to climaxing. The pressure was unbearable. Broken moans left their mouths as the pressure continued to build.

 Perry was practically bouncing up and down on Heinz’s lap. One hand knotted in his white shirt and the other held on tightly to his hat. Heinz loved this sight when Perry was blushing as he tried to keep his composure. Heinz loved to ruin this expression into something beautiful. All their insecurities seemed pale in comparison to this romantic, lustful moment.   

Heinz held on tight to Perry as he finally climaxed with a loud cry. Perry lost control of his hat and collapsed forward. 

As they came down from their collective high, Heinz turned a fan on to cool Perry’s body, since he knew it was dangerous if he got too hot. He gently laid Perry down in the middle of their bed. 

The agent cupped his stomach, watching as Heinz drew the covers over both of them. In just a few weeks their puggles would be here. Heinz was already thinking about materials to buy for Perry to build a burrow to give birth in a protected environment. Perry yawned and snuggled closer to Doofenshmirtz. He’d go home this evening. His boys were already getting used to his later schedule, but he would have to think of something so they wouldn't worry when he disappeared for good. Maybe it was time to tell them he was a secret agent with his nemesis for a boyfriend. 

…

A few days later Doofenshmirtz and Perry went grocery shopping. Heinz held the list while Perry rode in the front adjusting his brown fedora. Technically he was on maternity leave, but Heinz still had a hard time recognizing him without it even though Perry was starting to show his pregnancy. Perry rolled his eyes fondly, his boyfriend was so lovably oblivious.  

The cart clacked over the tiles as they roamed the store, getting mundane items like milk and cheese. 

“Thanks for coming with me Perry the Platypus,” Heinz said, “It’s so embarrassing coming to the store by myself. I mean what if I run into someone I know? Do you know how embarrassing that’d be?” 

Perry was about to reply when another cart rounded the corner crashing into theirs. 

Heinz rubbed the back of his neck, “Oh, heheh, this is awkward.”

 Major Monogram, who was pushing the other cart, glared at him. Carl, who was sitting inside the cart, looked back and forth between the two nervously. 

Major Monogram slowly backed away, keeping his gaze on Doofenshmirtz until he turned the corner.

Perry pulled the brim of his hat over his eyes to hide his embarrassment. Coincidences were funny things weren't they? 

They dropped the groceries off at Doof’s home before having lunch at an obscure, but lively restaurant near the ocean. They chose a pretty spot on the roof where it was less crowded. No one looked twice at a platypus and scientist having a date together.  

Perry noticed Heinz was acting nervous as he kept bouncing on leg and looking around. He chirred softly at him that meant something like “Are you okay? Tell me what’s wrong.” 

Heinz waved him off. “I-I’m okay Perry the Platypus.” 

Perry crossed his arms not believing him. 

Heinz sucked in a breath. “R-really it’s okay.” 

Perry raised an eyebrow. 

Heinz tugged at his collar. “It’s kind of hot today isn’t it?’ 

Perry growled that meant something like. “The weather isn't important. It’s you I’m worried about. Why are you dodging the question?” 

Seeing that he was caught, Heinz cleared his throat. “I-I’ve only done this once in my life Perry the Platypus and you saw how well that turned out.” 

That what? What was Heinz getting at? Perry was getting annoyed by Heinz’s behavior. 

Heinz stood up and knelt in front of Perry pulling out a small box. “W-will you marry me, Perry the Platypus?” 

Perry’s mouth fell open. 

“It’s not a trap.” Heinz said. “At least not this time.” 

Perry remembered when Heinz trapped him with that same box. Gingerly, he took it, opening it carefully. A pale diamond set in a golden band was in the box. 

“This ring has been in my family for generations. When I divorced Charlene she gave it back to me. And now I’m giving it to you. It would mean a lot to me if you’d take it.” Heinz waited anxiously for Perry’s answer. 

Perry launched himself at his boyfriend. He needed no words, the kiss was enough. Of course he would marry him! 

…

Perry circled restlessly in his bed. It was midday and the boys were building a complicated contraption in the backyard. He thumbed the chain hidden around his neck which held the ring Heinz gifted him and the locket Phineas and Ferb gave him. In the days of his pregnancy his stomach was “swollen nicely” as Mona told him when he came in for his checkups. The medication they’d given him was working too. He had more energy, but was still lethargic and nauseous when he first woke up in the mornings which was normal they’d said. Perry kept the medication hidden in the bathroom where only he could find it. Mona was urging him to talk to his family soon because the birth was approaching fast, as was the wedding. There was no date set yet Heinz was handling that. All Perry had to do was…tell Phineas and Ferb. Perry wanted Phineas and Ferb to be the first to know of his engagement and his job, but whenever he had a moment too he froze. 

It was silly, he knew, but this was a huge secret he was keeping from them. He was afraid of how they would react. Would they still love him the same as before? Even more importantly would they still want to be family? 

Perry circled his bed again, letting out a small distressed noise. 

“Aww, you okay Perry?” Phineas had walked back inside, since the contraction they were building mysteriously vanished after he and Ferb finished using it. Phineas crouched next to Perry stroking his spine, while Ferb scratched under his chin. 

Perry shrank back worried they were going to feel the eggs inside of him. 

Linda appeared from the kitchen. “You should leave him alone boys. The vet said he needs space, remember? Come into the kitchen, I have snacks for you.” 

“Okay, Mom.” Phineas and Ferb got up to follow her in the kitchen, but Ferb stopped and glanced back at Perry. 

“If there’s anything troubling you, Perry. I’d wish you could tell us.” The green-haired boy then followed his brother. 

I can tell you! Perry chirred. I just don’t know how to begin. 

He let out a sigh and curled up with his bill against his tail. His eggs shifted inside him reminding him that he didn’t have a lot of time left to tell the boys before the birth.

A few days later found Perry resting against the huge tree in the backyard while the boys pretended to be magicians. It was a normal summer day, well as normal as it could be around the Flynn-Fletcher house.

Ferb held a black magician’s hat in his hands while Phineas was waving a black and white wand over it chanting nonsensical words. 

“Viola!” he said. When nothing appeared he scratched his head. “I thought something would appear.” 

Ferb looked at him. 

Phineas laughed. “Oh yeah, I forgot we need an animal first.” 

Both boys looked at the sleeping Perry. 

“I would use Perry, but he seems more interested in sleeping.” Phineas said. Their pet had been on edge lately. He was sleeping more and snapped at the boys when they got too close. Although the boys had carefully watched his diet, it looked like he had gained weight.

“It almost looks like he’s pregnant,” Ferb mused. 

Phineas laughed, “Right, Perry’s not a girl. Come on Ferb, let's see if we have any carrots in the fridge to coax a rabbit into the hat.” 

Ferb followed Phineas inside leaving the teal platypus alone with his thoughts. 

The moment they left Perry’s watch started beeping. 

Groggily, he stretched and stood up. He wondered what Major Monogram wanted him for. He was still on leave so it must be dire to have Major Monogram contact him so suddenly and without warning.  

Carefully, Perry slid down the pipe into his lair landing heavily on his chair with a pained expression. The computer scanned his hat’s barcode confirming he’s an agent and Major Monogram’s worried face filled the screen. 

“Hello Agent P.” he said, “We suddenly got a note in the mail. Doofenshmirtz has urgently requested your presence.” 

Perry chuffed at this. He wasn’t due to show up today. This was unusual, Heinz must be in trouble to send O.W.C.A a note to “request his presence.” Perry rubbed the front of his stomach soothing his eggs as they pushed against the front of his stomach painfully. 

A picture of the note was shown on screen next to Major Monogram’s face. “Here is the note. It seems like Vanessa is going through a “teenage crisis” and Doofenshmirtz would like your support.” Major Monogram narrowed his eyes. “Carl is that–is that a carrot?” 

“Yes sir,” came Carl’s voice from somewhere offscreen. 

Major Monogram shrugged. “Oh, well. Go check it out Agent P. and report back quickly.” 

Perry saluted and scrambled to his hover-jet. 

“Carl, does this note seem suspicious to you?” 

“Uh, no sir? I think it’s sweet that Doofenshmirtz called on Agent P. for help.” 

Major Monogram sighed and rolled his eyes, but stayed silent. As much as he hated to admit it, it really was sweet Dr. Doofenshmirtz called his boyfriend for help, though the drawing of the carrot in the corner worried Major Monogram slightly. He shrugged it off to Doofenshmirtz, craving carrots. Who knows what that former evil scientist is thinking. 

Candance rushed out the front door, she was going to be late for a date with Jeremy. “Gotta hurry, gotta hurry.” she panted. Just as she stepped out the door she tripped over a fuzzy white ball lying on the ground. She fell face first into the dirt. “Ouch!” she complained, spitting out mud. “Phineas!” she roared angrily, thinking her brothers had left one of their gadgets on the ground. But when she turned to see what tripped her her heart soared. 

“Mr. Cutie-Patotie!” she squealed. “Oh my gosh. I thought you were lost for good! I’m so happy you’re back!” 

She picked up the rabbit hugging and kissing it. Dennis made a face then quickly schooled his expression into neutral when Candance turned him around to face her again.

“Oh my gosh! I must put you in something cute!” Forgetting her date with Jeremy she took Dennis into the kitchen. “First I gotta feed you, you must be hungry. My poor starving baby!” 

Her whole body froze when she opened the fridge. There were no carrots. She searched frantically in the cupboards and even underneath the sink, but no carrots were to be found. 

She stormed into the backyard with Dennis under one arm. “Phineas and Ferb!” 

The boys looked up from the stage they were building to host a magic show. Piles of carrots stood behind them. “Oh, hey Candence.” Phineas greeted her. 

“Ah-ha! I knew you two were up to something!” 

Phineas and Ferb looked at her. “Up to what?” Phineas asked, confused. 

Candance pointed to the carrots on the ground. “You two are hoarding all the carrots and are building something weird in the backyard.” 

“Did you want a carrot?” Phineas asked, “We have plenty. Oh, you found your rabbit!” 

Candance kissed Dennis on the nose. “Mr. Cutie-Patotie came back home and he’s starving. So give me a carrot.” 

Phineas handed one over. “Sure thing!” 

Candance set the rabbit on the ground. “Here, Mr. Cutie-Patotie. Eat your carrot while I go get mom to bust the boys.” 

She ran into the house shouting for Linda.

Dennis the Rabbit devoured the carrot in a few bites. 

Phineas came over and scratched behind his ears. “Ferb, feel how soft he is.” 

“He’s like a fluffy pillow.” Ferb commented. 

Dennis smiled sweetly up at them. 

As Phineas moved his hand down to the rabbit’s chin a small bottle fell out and broke on the ground. A sweet smell rose up. 

Phineas yawned, “That smells nice.” he murmured lying on the grass. “Maybe we should take a quick nap, before we continue with our magic show.” 

Ferb was already asleep and Phineas followed soon after. 

After checking they were both asleep, Dennis the Rabbit let a sinister smile cross his face. He cackled evilly, “Now I can get my revenge on you. Agent P!”

Chapter Text

When Perry arrived at Doofenshmirtz’s home the scientist was nowhere to be found. 

That was odd. Perry thought. Didn’t he specifically request his help? If he did, why wasn’t he here to greet him? Perry felt something was off about this whole situation. A sense of foreboding ran up his spine.  

The door opened and Heinz appeared carrying a big box in his hands; Norm was right behind him carrying two more boxes. 

“Put those boxes over there, Norm.” 

Norm hurried into the kitchen. “I can’t wait for the wedding!” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Heinz said, embarrassed. Norm had accidentally seen the box before Heinz had a chance to hide it. Luckily, he got the robot to stay quiet until he could tell Vanessa. Okay, maybe Roger too, but not the rest of his family. Heinz knew they wouldn’t understand.

Heinz set the box down in the middle of his lab. He stretched out his back then jumped when Perry chirred to let him know he was here. 

“Perry the Platypus!” Doofenshmirtz exclaimed, stepping in front of the box that held wedding supplies that he was saving to surprise his fiance. “What are you doing here? I wasn’t expecting you today. I thought you were taking a me-day?” 

Perry brought up the picture of the note Heinz had supposedly sent that morning on his watch. 

Heinz crouched to his level giving the Platypus a hello-kiss on his cheek. “It’s nice to see you, but what’s the matter? Oh, did I send that?” 

 Perry nodded. 

“Huh, I don’t remember sending a note.” Doofenshmirtz mused as he looked it over. “That’s not my handwriting. Vanessa is doing fine, she’s on date with her boyfriend right now and as far as I know there have been no problems.” 

It felt like the temperature dropped a couple degrees; Perry’s blood ran cold. 

If Heinz didn’t send this note then who did? Perry was trembling all over as another thought flew into his mind. The boys. What if they were in danger?!

He turned on shaky legs to his hover-jet. 

“Perry? Where are you going? What’s wrong?” Heinz had grabbed his hand and embraced from behind. “What’s going on, my schatz , talk to me.” 

Tears leaked out of Perry’s eyes. He was so damn emotional ever since he found out about his pregnancy. He struggled to calm himself down; it would do no good to freak out.  

Perry buried his bill briefly in his fiance’s coat, then drew back. His expression said something like “I can’t explain it now, but my family is in danger. Will you help me?” 

Heinz kissed his fiancee softly, “Of course I’ll help, lead the way.” 

A few moments later they were headed back to Perry’s home. It was a tight fit, but the ride was short. As Perry maneuvered his hover-jet into the bushes; a loud cry of “Ma!” made him yank Heinz down with a hand over his mouth in a “shh” motion. Wide-eyed, Heinz nodded. 

Candance burst into the backyard dragging Linda behind her. “Here, here! See! Tell me you don’t see anything.” 

Linda sighed, “I don’t see anything Candace.” 

Candace’s mouth dropped open. “B-b-b-b-but the boyS! They were right here, with Mr. Cutie Patotie!” 

Linda gave her daughter an exasperated look. “Uh-huh. Well, I’m headed into town to pick up groceries, is there anything you want?” 

Candace sighed. 

“I’ll take that as a no then.” 

Their voices faded as they headed back inside. 

Heinz stared at the mother and daughter. Were they part of Perry’s family? The agent was so secretive about his personal life that even Doofenshmirtz did not know where Perry disappeared to each day. Heinz supposed it was because of some secret agent protocol to keep personal life and work separate. However, now that they were engaged to marry, shouldn't Doofenshmirtz know about Perry’s family so he could tell them about their engagement? It was something that was on Perry’s mind as well. He gestured to his lover trying to tell him the truth, but Doofenshmirtz just looked confused. 

“Was that your family?” He asked. 

Perry nodded, “Part of it.”  

Doofenshmirtz smiled. “They looked nice.” It didn’t matter if Perry wanted to keep them a secret from him. Doofenshmirtz supported his decision. 

Perry’s watch beeped again. 

“Agent P!” Major Monogram sounded distressed. “Carl and I just finished analyzing the note. It turns out Dr. Doofenshmirtz did not send that letter. It was a rogue agent loose somewhere in your sector. We put the note through the computer and found a hidden message from Agent Dennis the Rabbit, that says he swears revenge on you.” 

Perry remembered Agent D. He was such a pain to deal with. Why couldn’t O.W.C.A have done that before he left for D.E.I?

Major Monogram continued not noticing Perry’s pained expression. “I have put the agency on high alert and sent a special agent your way to help you. But, uh, here comes the awkward part.” 

Mona appeared, pushing Major Monogram out of the way. “Oh, move it you old man! You always butcher the sensitive things, besides Agent P. is probably quitting anyways since he’s pregnant ." They emphasized the word “pregnant” gently as if teaching Major Monogram a new word. “So what does it matter if they found out?” 

Perry growled impatiently, giving Heinz a look that said, “I can never get any information out of these people.” 

Heinz tightened his hold on Perry’s paw. He understood that feeling. He had felt it many times with his daughter. But Major Monogram wasn’t a teeneager and this situation was of the utmost seriousness. 

Now that Mona had taken Major Monogram’s seat, they rapidly told Perry what happened. Dennis had a small bottle of sleeping powder around his neck which broke when Phineas accidentally brushed his hand against it. When that happened, Dennis used a hand-held teleporter to teleport Phineas and Ferb to a secure unknown location.

As he listened, Doofenshmirtz understood that the two boys missing were Perry’s family. Doofenshmirtz curled his fingers tighter into the fur at the platypus’s shoulder. He wished Perry could have told him sooner, but he understood there were regulations to follow. If the kids found out about their pet’s double life, then Perry might have to relocate to another family or they might have to lose their memories. Either outcome was a tragic one. 

“It’s up to you Agent P. and Dr. Doofenshmirtz to rescue those kids!” They finished. “Also if there is simply no way to conceal your identity, remember we may have to relocate you, but I’ll try my hardest to not let it come to that. Right uncle?” Mona glared at her uncle. 

Major Monogram gulped and flashed a quick thumbs up. “O-of course Mona! But only if the situation is completely dire we may have to relocate you.”  

Perry tipped his hat and shut the wrist watch off. It felt like an added weight was on his shoulders Perry still wanted his boys to understand the real him, what made Perry, Perry, and embrace his new life with open hearts and minds.  “What now?” Heinz asked. 

Perry looked helplessly around the yard for clues. How was he going to find his boys? More tears dripped out of his eyes. It all felt so impossible. 

“Perry…” Heinz kissed him, “We will find your family. I promise.” 

Perry sniffed. “Are you sure?”  

Heinz picked up his fiance and held him against his chest so Perry could hear his calming heartbeat. “I am sure. Let’s go back to my lab. I think I have an Inator that is perfect for this situation, but first we need something, hair, or a piece of clothing to track your boys with.” 

Perry dried his eyes with the corner of Heinz’s coat. 

The two spread out across the lawn to search for clues. A fine powder stood out blindingly silver against the green of the lawn. It felt grainy as Perry rubbed it between his paws. This must be the powder Mona mentioned.  

…

They arrived back at D.E.I, in no time flat, where Heinz dropped the powder into his Inator. 

“We just have to wait a few minutes for the Locator-Inator to locate Agent D’s hideout.” 

Perry paced the floor impatiently, while the machine gently hummed in the background. 

Dennis the Rabbit rubbed his paws together with child-like glee. Agent P’s boys were tied up against a pillar and were slowly waking up. 

Upon awakening Phineas’s heart started to race. He made to get up, but found coarse rope tying his hands. Looking around he saw that they were in some kind of warehouse with a huge computer at one end. Boxes littered the floor. 

“Hey! What gives?” he said. He nudged Ferb. “Ferb, wake up!” 

His step-brother’s head shot up, eyes wide with shock. 

Dennis the Rabbit stalked out of the shows laughing maniacally. “Ah, ah, ah boys.” he said, wagging his finger at him as if scolding a small child. “Don’t cause me any trouble and I won’t have to kill you.” 

“Kill us?” Phineas said shocked. “What do you mean? Who are you?!” 

“All in due time,” Dennis replied. “First I have to get revenge on O.W.C.A!” 

He laughed again, raising his hands to the sky for added effect. 

 Who was going to save them? Phineas thought. And where was Perry? 

Perry the Platypus was still pacing Doofenshmirtz’s lab. 

“Any minute now,” Heinz said as he watched his Inator intently. “Just a few more seconds- ding! Ah-ha!” 

The Inator glowed and a beam shot off the balcony into the street below. Doofenshmirtz and Perry ran to the railing. 

“See Perry the Platypus? I told you it’d work!” 

Perry couldn’t resist giving his fiance a kiss; he was right, it had worked like a charm. They followed the beam with haste where they found an old warehouse. It was the warehouse that Heinz used sometimes for storage. Carefully, with Heinz’s guidance, they infiltrated through the vent, dropping onto the floor silently behind some boxes. Perry tucked his hat away so as to not scare the boys when he rescued them.

Dennis sat at a computer keeping one eye on O.W.C.A’s mainframe and one eye on the boys. His fingers flew across the keyboard with lighting-fast speed as he hacked their servers. Unknown to Perry and Doofenshmirtz, Dennis had a trick up his sleeve. 

Phineas looked around wildly for something to cut the rope off, he found nothing. Ferb was in the same boat. 

Phineas sighed, “What are we going to do Ferb?” he whispered, halfheartedly pulling at the ropes. 

Ferb looked downcast. Their family would be wondering where they were before long, but how long before someone would come looking for them? 

“Why are you doing this?” Phineas suddenly shouted to the white rabbit, angry at the situation he and Ferb found themselves in. 

Dennis paused his fingers barely touching the keyboard; he said, “I want revenge on a certain pet of yours!” 

Phineas was confused. “What does Perry have to do with this?” 

Perry jolted in shock. He couldn’t let his boys find out his secret job from this jerk! He silently snuck up to the boys leaving Doofenshmirtz hiding behind the boxes looking for an opening to attack Dennis unawares. 

“Be careful,” Heinz whispered after Perry. 

“Oh, there you are Perry,” Phineas said as the platypus sidled up next to them chattering. “Can you chew the ropes to get us out of here?” 

Perry obediently began chewing at the ropes, a sudden jolt of pain shot from his belly making him whimper.

“Perry? Come on, get us out of here.” 

Perry chattered again, pushing through the pain to gnaw at the ropes, eyes narrowing in concentration. 

Dennis growled frustratedly. “Agent P! I see you’ve finally arrived.” 

Perry broke off freeing the boys yet again with a growl. Why won’t this rabbit just go away?

Phineas blinked, “Agent P? This is Perry, our pet. He’s a platypus.” 

“He doesn’t do much.” Ferb chimed in from the other side of Phineas. 

Dennis rolled his eyes. “Obviously he’s pretending to be a pet to use you as cover. He doesn’t care about you. He’s a secret agent!” 

Perry put himself in front of Dennis and the boys, growling like a bear. Of course he cared about the boys! They were his whole life, from the moment they met Perry knew these boys were special.

“It’s okay, boy.” Phineas said straining against the coarse rope. “Just get these ropes off of us.” 

Dennis rubbed his paws together. “I see you still need persuasion Agent P.” 

On a nearby table lay a robotic arm which Dennis swiftly put on and backhanded Perry hard across the face. 

Perry landed hard with a screech of pain, which he quickly muffled. It didn’t matter what happened to him, his boys were more important, yet parental instinct pulsed through him like a heartbeat. If it came down to it; who would he save? His eggs or his boys? 

Gasping, he held a paw to his stinging cheek.

Doofenshmirtz clapped a hand over his mouth. Perry shook his head desperately at him. Doofenshmirtz understood, he still wanted to keep his private life from Phineas and Ferb for as long as possible. 

“Hey!” Phineas yelled. “Why would you do that to a poor defenseless animal?!”

Dennis laughed, cruelly. “Because I’m evil! Well Agent P? Aren't you gonna do anything? If you don’t care about your life then I’m gonna kill these boys of yours!” 

Dennis’s robotic hand shot out to grab Phineas around the neck in a crushing grip. 

“P-Perry!” Phineas gasped out. His throat was being crushed, the air cut off from his lungs, so he couldn’t breathe. He clawed desperately at the ropes.

Ferb strained at the ropes trying to get to his brother. 

Doofenshmirtz couldn’t stand it anymore he had to act. 

Perry rolled onto his feet cradling his belly, muscles shrieking with pain. Ignoring it he jammed his hat on his head and lunged at Dennis. This was one line to many.

With the platypus on one side and the former-evil scientist on the other Dennis had no chance. He was thrown to the ground with the two on top of him. 

“Get them out of here!” Doofenshmirtz cried. “I’ll take care of him!” 

Perry nodded, his expression said something like, “I trust you. Please come back unharmed.” 

Quickly, ignoring the shocked looks on Phineas and Ferb’s faces, he freed them and took their hands. 

“P-Perry?” Phineas coughed out. “You’re a secret agent?! He’s a secret agent?!” 

Ferb shrugged. It looked that way. 

I’m sorry. Perry rested a paw against their faces. 

“Run, my darling!” Doofenshmirtz yelled again. “I can’t hold him for long! Ahh!” 

Dennis reversed the hold; now on top he squeezed Doofenshmirtz’s throat. “I heard you were engaged to an Agent, but I never thought it’d be Agent P!” 

Perry casted a wretched glance at his love. Please survive , his heart whispered. He ran up the stairs to a window that was partially open. If he could get to that window he’d be able to free the boys with his parachute. Then he could go back and help Doofenshmirtz. 

“What is going on?” Phineas bombarded Perry with endless questions. “Who’s that guy in the lab coat? Why’d he call you darling? Are you really a secret agent? Why didn’t you tell us?” 

Perry sighed. There’d be time for all these questions later. Right now the most important thing was to get Phineas and Ferb to safety. As he dragged the boys up the stairs he suddenly tripped and landed hard on his belly. This time Perry didn’t mask the sound that came out of him. A heart rending cry was ripped from his throat as a powerful ripple passed through his stomach. 

“Perry!” 

Seeing that he was distracted, Dennis threw Doofenshmirtz off. He ran back to the table to put on the rest of the mechanical parts. “Fear my robotic exoskeleton, Perry the Platypus!” 

With a gigantic leap, Dennis aimed for the boys and the injured platypus. 

Was this where it all ended? Perry thought. Memories of growing up with his boys flashed in his mind like a montage. He squeezed his eyes shut. 

Then the grate on the ceiling of the warehouse came down with a loud clatter. A body flew down from the rafters like an eagle effectively blocking Dennis’s attack. The compromised agent was thrown heavily backwards into a pile of boxes where he lay still. 

Perry coughed up blood; through bleary eyes he saw that it was a girl. A really short Black girl about four feet high with blazing teal eyes, teal hair-everything she was wearing was the color of teal. 

She landed on the ground in a Black Widow pose. 

“Agent P! Agent A, here to lend you some back up!” She straightened, saluting him. 

Perry breathed a sigh of relief. Agent A, Aquamarine the Abyssinian cat, was famous in O.W.C.A for fighting villains on her own. She has taken down some of the most evil high-priority targets in the world and was the only non-animal agent in O.W.C.A. She was given vacation time due to her long service; Perry never imagined that she had chosen to vacation in the tri-state area. On top of that anyone who encountered this tough teen girl was instantly struck with a feeling of nostalgia. She just had that effect on anyone she met. That is exactly how Perry is feeling right now. He was overcome with a feeling of nostalgia as if he somehow knew her, but they had never met. 

There was a pulling sensation underneath his tail, interrupting his line of thought, making him cry aloud. 

Instantly, Agent A was at his side running a hand along his belly. 

Perry fought the urge to hiss as she prodded his stomach with strong, probing fingers.

Phineas and Ferb stood helplessly to the side. “What's wrong with him?” Phineas cried out. 

Heinz limped towards them, clutching his shoulder. “I-it can’t be time. Can it?” His forehead creased with worry. 

Agent A nodded. “It is time. We need to get to O.W.C.A ASAP!” 

“What?” Phineas exploded. “Okay, first of all we were just kidnapped. Second, who are you people?! Third, Perry’s a secret agent?” 

Agent A bit her lip. “I’m sorry boys, I don’t have time to explain it all now. You have to trust me. Your pet is in fact a secret agent, and currently he’s in the midst of giving birth!” 

Phineas and Ferbs’ mouths dropped open in shock

“B-but Perry’s not a girl? How can he be p-p-pregnant?” 

Perry moaned in pain, his eyes rolled back to show only the whites.

Phineas held a tentative hand out like he was going to touch Perry but drew it back. “He’s in pain! Can you do anything?” 

“Like, I said,” Agent A took a breath. “He’s giving birth. We need to get him back to the hospital at O.W.C.A to give birth to his puggles safely.” 

While they were talking Dennis was starting to stir. He blinked. Agent P was in serious trouble if he struck now he’d win. That’s exactly what he did. His robotic exoskeleton started growing, covering his body in a protective shell. This was his trump card. A giant robot that exploded out through the roof of the warehouse. Laughing evilly, he reached down to grab hold of Perry.  

With lightning fast speed, Aquamarine spun backwards effectively knocking him away from the struggling platypus. “Stay away from him!” She shouted up and up and up at the robotic rabbit. 

Leaping down from the stairs, she yelled to the others. “Get them out of here! I’ll take care of this rat!” 

She drew a contraption out of her pocket that allowed her to grapple onto the roof next door. She then led Dennis on a chase. “Come and get me!” she taunted. 

Delicately, Doofenshmirtz took Perry into his arms kissing his cheek to the shocked expressions of the boys. “We must get my fiance to O.W.C.A posthaste!”

Chapter Text

Aquamarine dashed across rooftops dodging the blasts Agent Dennis emitted from his robotic mouth. She gritted her teeth; this wouldn’t be an easy battle to win. Not against Dennis. He was too strong, too coordinated, she’d have to call in help from O.W.C.A. She wouldn’t consider herself a high, prideful person, but she did have a reputation to uphold. Aquamarine had taken down the most evil of criminals. Should one bunny rabbit be a piece of cake?  

Ah, but times change. She wasn’t the same scared little girl anymore, looking at a painting of her dead parent wondering if her one alive parent would pay any attention to her. No, she was a badass bitch that took no shit from no one! 

Agent A’s hand slapped against the concrete as she vaulted over a bench. Dennis was hot on her trail, breathing fire literally. Pedestrians scattered here and there screaming their heads off as embers rained down on them.

“Sorry, so sorry, excuse me!” she yelled as she ran through the throng of panicked people. 

O.W.C.A. 

Heinz Doofenshmirtz burst in the front door of O.W.C.A. cradling a panting Perry in his arms yelling for Mona. The platypus clutched at his soon to be husband’s arms for dear life. The boys stumbled in after him. “He drives like a crazy person.” Phineas muttered to his brother. Doofenshmirtz’s car was parked outside. Parked might be an understatement. It had crashed right through the wall of O.W.C.A. 

Carl sighed. As usual he’d be the one to clean Doofenshmirtz’s mess up. Would it kill Major Monogram to help out once in a while? 

Phineas looked around the wide foray. It was huge and sophisticated. Did their pet really work here? 

Ferb nudged his arm and pointed to where Perry was being put on a gurney.

“Perry!” Phienas cried. 

He, Ferb and Doofenshmirtz followed Perry closely to the nearest hospital room. 

The room was spacious allowing the small group plus Mona to stand around Perry’s bedside comfortably. 

Perry coughed up more blood that stained the sheets a shocking color of red. 

He chattered weakly at Phineas and Ferb as if to say “I’m sorry, I should have told you sooner, but I didn’t want our life to end.” 

Mona signaled to a nurse to bring blankets for the boys and water. 

Perry screeched as the pain grew sharper, stabbing his insides like a knife. 

Mona rested a hand on his heaving stomach. Their brow furrowed worriedly as they pressed down. 

Perry fought the urge to snap at them. The pressure from their hand on his stomach stirred a strong parental instinct in him. Plus it hurts. It hurts so fucking much.  

Gesturing to the nurse Mona said. “Take the boys out of here. They don’t need to see this. Major Monogram will look after them.” 

The nurse nodded and guided the boys out. 

“What? No!” Phineas protested, he tried to run back in but the nurse stopped him with a strong arm. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “But this is not something for children to see.” 

“We’re not that young!” Phineas said indignantly. 

The nurse apologized again as he managed to herd the two protesting boys out. 

Reluctantly they let him. 

Mona breathed a silent sigh of relief. 

Heinz gripped the platypus’s paw tightly. “Is he going to be okay?” 

Perry whimpered as he pulled himself into a birthing position keeping his grip on Doofenshmirtz’s hand. 

He cried out again as the pain grew even more intense. He strained as something in his stomach moved. 

“I might have to perform surgery.” Mona said at last.

Heinz blinked at her. “Surgery, why?” 

Mona closed their eyes, here came the hard part. “An egg is stuck. This is exactly what I was afraid of. If I don’t remove it properly he and the puggles could die.” 

Tears spilled out of Heinz’s eyes landing on the suffering platypus below. “No, no, no!” He said. “That can’t happen!” 

“Best case scenario,” Mona continued their voice wavering with a sob. “One of them could survive. If I have to choose…”  They shook their head hard. “I’ll do my best to make sure they all survive!”

Blood spurted on the hospital bed as Perry clawed desperately at his neck. 

Mona’s eyes grew wide. “Hold him down!” They told Doofenshmirtz. “He can’t be moving like that.” 

“I think he's trying to get something.” 

Perry nodded, another powerful wave of pain made him screw his eyes shut, a powerful scream ripping from the depths of his soul. 

Heinz felt at Perry’s neck and felt a long chain different from the chain he gave him with the engagement ring on it. There was a faint click and a locket fell out. Perry exhaled then shakily pointed to the door. 

“You want me to give this to Phineas and Ferb?” Heinz asked. 

In spite of his predicament, Perry managed to roll his eyes.

“I’ll do that. Yes. I’ll right back Perry the Platypus!” 

Mona snapped on some gloves then turned Perry onto his back. “I know you really hate being on your back but this is the most convenient position to perform the surgery. Please bear with me.” 

Survie. Surviving was all Perry had to do. He will survive. He will survive. He will survive! 

I will survive! 

 …

Phineas looked at the locket Heinz deposited in his hands. “Why’d he give you this?” 

Heinz shrugged, “He wants you to have it. I don’t know why.” 

“So that’s it?” Phineas murmured. “Is this where it all ends? He starts a life with you and just forgets about us?” 

Ferb placed a hand on his shoulder. Before he could say anything a deep voice interrupted them 

“I’m sorry, boys. But you can’t be here.” 

A man dressed in army clothes walked up to the boys. “It’s dangerous,” he continued. “With a rogue agent on the loose we can’t have two children around. You should go home.” 

“We can’t!” Phineas protested loudly. “We need to be here for Perry. Whatever’s gonna happen, we want to help!” 

Major Monogram placed a hand on Phineas’s shoulder. “We can’t risk it. Besides, our insurance doesn’t cover it. You should go home. I think that’s what Perry would want you to do.” 

The boys looked at the closed door of Perry’s room then back at Monogram. Maybe he was right. Phineas thought. Maybe it would be better off if they stayed out of the way. It seemed like all the people here knew Perry better than they did even the pharmacist. It seemed like those two had a close relationship. Phineas wondered just what kind of relationship those two, a human and a platypus, could have. 

Phineas and Ferb were put in a car and zipped home.

In their backyard, Phineas clutched the locket Doctor Doofenshmirtz gave them. 

“Why would he give us this?” Phineas wondered. “Doesn’t he care about us? I thought we were a team. I thought he trusted us!” Frustrated tears fell from his eyes. Angry, he slammed a fist into the tree. To his shock a hidden door slid open revealing a chute that led into the dark. 

“What’s this?” he asked. 

Ferb blinked silently. 

“Do you think we should go down it?” Phineas already had one leg in the tree. 

Ferb followed. 

The chute took them down into a lab area.

“Whoa.” Phienas was as lost for words as Ferb was. “This must be Perry’s secret lab!” 

Phineas walked up to the computer. There was an indentation that looked like a bat. 

He frowned. “What could this be?” 

Ferb took the locket Phineas was holding and fiddled with it until it popped open to reveal two more pictures of them as children. 

Phienas held his breath as his step-brother placed the now open locket in the indentation on the computer. 

 A robotic voice from the computer said, “Welcome Phineas and Ferb. This is a message from Agent P. The Tri-state area is a dire circumstance. Level Alpha Red. Agent P needs your help to save the Tri-state area, but first in his own words he would like to explain to you the last few weeks. Would you like to continue?” 

“The last few weeks?’” Phineas echoed. Then he remembered the weird times Perry had been disappearing and the mysterious illness that had taken hold of him. He looked at Ferb who nodded. 

“Let’s hear what he has to say.” Ferb said. 

Phineas agreed. “Um, we continue.” 

The monotone voice continued, this time taking on the voice of a narrator. 

“Phineas, Ferb if you're listening to this then I have given my trust to you. I was nervous at first to tell you, but then I realized no matter how much I tried you wouldn't understand, therefore, I have written the truth down here in my lab’s computer. If you’ve made it this far; I beg of you please listen to what I have to say.” 

There was a pause then the voice continued. Phineas and Ferb knew whatever the voice sounded like it was still the words of their beloved pet. These words belonged to Perry and Perry only. 

The voice spoke of Perry’s job and his nemesis the evil scientist Doctor Heinz Doofenshmirtz. Perry spoke of how many times he saved the Tri-state area by thwarting this evil scientist over and over. Then the voice took a softer tone. It spoke of the feelings Perry felt as each time he helped Doofenshmirtz through something difficult like rescuing him from his Inators, or supporting him at family gatherings and being there for him on difficult days.

Over time Perry had developed feelings for his nemesis, but knew that there was no chance the evil scientist ever felt the same. So he kept to his job, kept his feelings to himself until one day, Heinz made the move first. He confessed first. He told the platypus of how much he loved him and how much he appreciated him being there when he needed him. 

This confession brought tears to Phineas and Ferb’s eyes. They never knew how much their pet’s love extended to Heinz Doofenshmirtz. 

Perry continued by saying how conflicted he felt telling the boys all this. 

“I do not want to hurt you.” he stated, “But I wish to live the rest of my life with this man I fell in love with. I want to marry him. I want to bear him children we can love and cherish for the rest of our lives. I love you Phineas and Ferb, but I want to expand my world. I still want you to be a part of it even if I’m not there with you physically.” 

“Of course,” Phineas sobbed, “Of course you do!” 

Ferb patted Phineas on the back. “If you really love something you have to let it go.” 

Phineas accepted the handkerchief Ferb handed him. “Thanks, Ferb and you’re right. I think it is time to let Perry go. We’ll always love him.” 

The boys embraced. 

The computer concluded the message by saying, “You can help defend the Tri-state area by building these.” 

Holograms of five tall robots appeared behind the embracing boys. 

“Defend the Tri-state area, and save the world.” Then the computer screen went black. 

Phineas grinned, “Are these what I think they are Ferb?” 

Ferb flashed a thumbs up. 

“I know what we’re going to do today. Save the Tri-state area!” 

While Phineas and Ferb were building the robots with the help of their friends, Dennis the Robot rampaged downtown, sending the entire Tri-state area into a state of panic. People dodged his huge feet, fire trucks and police cars got caught in his hands. People wailed on the sidewalks as their loved ones lay injured on the ground. 

Aquamarine saw this, but she had to ignore it. There was nothing she could do to help except by defeating Dennis. But the giant robot had her cornered on a rooftop. One arm was bleeding which she clutched close to her body. 

“You won’t win!” she shouted. 

Dennis just laughed in her face, “I already have! You can never defeat me. You’re too weak .” 

Aquamarine flinched. She hated being called weak. All her life she had been coddled like a princess until the day she ran away and joined O.W.C.A.

“I’m not weak,” she whispered, “I’m not….I’m not.” 

Despair overcame the young teenage agent. She bowed her head, her hat landing next to her. She wondered if she could even call herself an agent anymore. She had defeated many villains, but Dennis was the first one that was too strong for her to face alone. She hated asking for help because it made her feel even more weak. Aquamarine should be able to solve problems on her own, but maybe she did need help every once in a while. 

Dennis laughed as he held a fist ominously over her. “Say goodbye, little agent!” 

Aquamarine shut her eyes, but the blow never landed. Opening them she saw another mechanical hand blocking Dennis from killing her. This hand was connected to another robot. 

Phineas was in the cockpit. He waved at her. 

She waved back joy overflowing her chest. “Thank you!” she cried out. 

“Anytime!” 

She wasn’t alone. She had friends by her side!

Placing her hat back on her head she stepped into Phineas’s other hand. 

Phineas’s robotic arms shoved Dennis backwards.

“Argh!” Dennis screamed as he nearly lost his balance. “No fair!” 

He shook his head to clear the dizziness. As his vision cleared he saw a familiar building in the distance. His eyes lit up with joy. “If I can't destroy you,” he said to Aquamarine, “Then I'll just go to the root of the problem!” 

With a massive leap he cleared Phineas, blocking the way, and with a quick tap of his robotic foot sped towards O.W.C.A. 

“We have to stop him!” 

Phineas held up a walkie talkie. “You hear that guys? We have to stop that rogue agent from getting to O.W.C.A Headquarters!” 

“On it!” Four familiar voices said. 

“On your left!” Isabella warned Buford as Dennis swiped at him. 

“Ow!” Baljeet complained as Buford accidentally hit him. “Your other left!” 

“Oops sorry!” Burford laughed as he corrected himself. 

“You did that on purpose didn’t you?” Baljeet accused him. 

“Ahah! Maybe!” 

Baljeet sighed. He gripped the controls of his robot to land himself in front of Dennis. 

“So Perry’s a secret agent?” Isabella asked Phineas as they followed Dennis. 

“Yeah,” Phineas said. “But it's more complicated than that. I’ll explain later!” 

“Okay!” 

Aquamarine hunkered down as Dennis threw a billboard their way. “We have to hurry Phineas. He’s getting closer!” 

Heinz paced the hallway outside of Perry’s room. Mona had shooed him out promising the surgery wouldn’t take too long. 

Heinz wrung his hands together nervously. It was taking a long time. Too long it seemed like 

Carl kindly offered him a seat, but he refused. He was too worried to sit still. Would his fiance be okay? How much longer? Heinz exhaled impatiently. 

With Heinz pacing frantically and Major Monogram watching intently, only Carl noticed the giant robot marching towards them. 

“Um, sir?” he warned Major Monogram. 

The major sighed, “Not now Carl.” 

“But, sir…” 

“I said not now Carl.” his voice taking on a more stern tone. 

Carl hopped nervously from foot to foot as he watched the impending disaster. 

In the hospital room the heart monitor beeped steadily as Mona and her assistant worked quickly but carefully on Perry.

“He’s too close!” Aquamarine warned Phineas. “Any further and he’ll kill everyone at Headquarters!” 

“Faster guys!” 

Isabella, Burford, Baljeet, and Ferb increased their speed to the max. 

Isabella yelped as the controls heated up, burning her hands. “Phineas! I don’t think the robots can take much more of this!” 

“It’s okay!” he answered, “We’re almost there.” 

Isabella spoke into the walkie talkie to her troop. 

“Are the Fireside Girls ready, Adison?” 

Her second in command nodded. “Affirmative Isabella. Pull girls!” 

The Fireside Girls pulled on a long piece of wire tied between two buildings. When the giant robotic rabbit came in range he tripped. A loud crash sound as he hit the ground hard, bolts and screws flying everywhere. 

“Good job girls!” Isabella praised. 

Back at O.W.C.A. Headquarters, Carl breathed a silent sigh of relief it looked like Agent D was stopped for now at least. 

Mona finally emerged from the room stripped off their bloody gloves and threw them into the trash. Heinz pounced on them as soon as they exited. 

“Is he okay? Is he awake yet?” 

“Calm down Dr. Doofenshmirtz.” Mona said. “He’s fine. Doing great actually, he’s slowly waking up. The surgery was a success, the eggs are out and arranged in a small nest. You can go and see him, but try to be quiet. He's been through a lot.” 

Heinz could not stop thanking them. They had after all saved Perry’s life and the life of their children.  

“Perry?” Heinz whispered as he entered the dimly lit room. 

Perry groggily chirred at him from where he was curled around two pale eggs. 

“I’m here my love.” Heinz kissed Perry on the top of his head. “You’re safe now.” 

Carl gulped as the robot started to move. “Uh, sir.” 

Major Monogram looked up from the paperwork Mona was having him sign. “This better be important Carl.” 

“Uh, sir, look out the window.” 

Major Monogram took a look. He gasped loudly. “Why isn’t the rabbit finished yet?” 

Dennis slowly pulled himself to an upright position. One leg hung askew below him; sparks popped as he moved. With a roar of rage, laser beams shot out of his eyes at Phineas and his friends. 

“Eject everyone!” Phineas warned. “Our robots aren’t equipped to deal with laser eyes!”
“What?” Buford exclaimed. “You’re telling me we have everything, but protection against laser eyes? Really?!” 

“Just eject Buford, unless you want to become fried curry?” Baljeet screamed at him.

“Don’t you mean fried chicken?” 

“Oh!” Baljeet squealed as he ejected. “It’s an Indian thing, I doubt you’d understand!” 

“I dare you to say that again nerd!” Buford glared at him as they floated down to earth suspended by parachutes. 

“Don’t hit me!” Baljeet instinctively ducked all to used to Buford’s wild swings. 

“Are they always like this?” Aquamarine asked as she floated down next to Phineas, Isabella on his other side.

“Yes,” Phineas answered, “Yes they are.” 

A frantic Aquamarine called Major Monogram on his cell.

“Sir, we have a situation. We were able to slow down Agent D, but he’s still coming for you! You have to evacuate immediately!” 

“Of course we s-” Major Monogram started to say, but Mona interrupted him. 

“We can’t!” 

Major Monogram raised his eyebrows at his niece. This was the second time they’d interrupted him; it was beginning to become a problem even Monty never interrupted him that often. 

“I just finished surgery on Agent P. We can’t move him! He’s in a delicate state right now. If we did, he wouldn’t survive.” 

Aquamarine was shocked. “Then what do we do? Agent D is almost there!” 

Another call on Major Monogram’s cell cut through tension. 

It was Monty and Vanessa. 

“Vanessa!” Doofenshmirtz had come out of the hospital room to see what the yelling was about. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” Major Monogram and Heinz asked at the same time; they looked at each other sheepishly. 

“Dad!” Vanessa said. She was driving Monty’s hover car. “I can distract him while you use your de-metalizer-inator! That will disable the robot. Whoa!” She jerked the steering wheel to the right, effectively avoiding a punch from Dennis’s one good arm. 

“Vanessa!” 

“I’m fine dad!” she replied, “Really, I’ll be okay. I’ve got Monty.” 

She balanced precariously on the hover car as Monty handed her an Assault Rifle to keep Dennis distracted while Doofenshmirtz, with a quick goodbye to Perry, took his car all the way to his lab to get the inator.

Standing on the rooftop he fired up the inator and aimed it at Dennis. 

“I hope this works!” he said as he fired it. 

The beam hit the robot in the square in the chest rendering the metal skeleton useless. Dennis fell from the sky right into Major Monogram’s arms. 

“Eugh!” he shrieked, tossing Dennis to Carl who also shrieked and tossed the rabbit into a cage. 

The kids cheered; finally the giant rabbit robot was stopped. They had saved the day. 

The kids talked among themselves excitedly standing in the lobby of O.W.C.A Headquarters. Heinz, who drove madly back, sat near Perry murmuring to him softly. 

Major Monogram sighed, “What do we now?” 

“Excuse me,” 

Mona looked down into Phineas’s pleading eyes. 

“Can we see Perry now?” 

Mona looked towards the door. “Sure,” she said, “But keep the noise down he’s been through a lot. Only two visitors for now.” 

Isabella trotted up and threw her arms around Phineas. “You and Ferb go, he’s your pet after all.” 

“Thanks, Isabella.” 

The hospital room was dimly lit when Phineas and Ferb walked inside. 

Perry was dozing next to Heinz. 

Phineas remembered what Perry had told them back in his lab. It was hard to believe their pet was an agent and engaged to his nemesis and had given birth to two healthy eggs. Phineas and Ferb didn’t quite understand, but they would try, after all Perry was their best friend. 

Perry let out a contented purr as he sensed his family around him. 

We’ll always love you ,

He thought he heard Phineas say. 

Always, 

Ferb echoed. 

There was nothing more to say. The boys accepted the fact that Perry wouldn’t be staying with them anymore. They loved him and understood that they couldn’t hold on to them forever, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t visit each other. Phineas was looking forward to meeting Heinz and Perry’s children once they hatched. 

Candace

Candace looked up at the TV mounted on the wall of the grocery store. A news story of a rampaging robot was shown destroying the town. 

“Mom! Mom!” she quickly called, “Look look! On TV, it’s Phineas and Ferb!” 

Linda sighed to herself, “Candace aren’t you going to be late for a date with Jeremy?”

“B-b-b–but…”

Linda took a twenty dollar bill out of her purse. “Here, go and see a movie with him. Have fun, be a teenager! Summer won’t last forever you know.” 

Candace took the bill, “Fine, it’s not like you ever see them anyways.” she grumbled as she stomped out of the store. 

A few weeks later…

Perry examined his body in the mirror in the bedroom he shared with Heinz, thumbing the long scar across his stomach. The stitches were still there, in a few more days Mona would take them out. Perry didn’t mind them, they were a reminder of his strength and resilience throughout his pregnancy. Battle scars he thought to himself smiling. 

The cleanup from Dennis’s rampage went smoothly. The buildings were repaired as quickly as they had been destroyed. Dennis was locked away for good this time, and Major Monogram had finally let Perry take maternity leave. The wedding had been a grand affair with all the agents and Perry’s family, even Candace came once the shock of Perry’s secret had worn off. 

Vanessa had come with her boyfriend, who even asked her to marry him, once they’d graduated highschool of course. It was sweet to find love and to know you’ll stick with them through thick and thin together.

The party had lasted long into the night until dawn was peaking over the tips of the highest building in the Tri-state area; Heinz had carried Perry to their bed, both yawning with exhaustion. They had to be mindful of Perry’s recovery, so Heinz made sure to pleasure Perry as delicately as possible, Perry of course enthusiastically returned the favor. 

Perry dropped to all fours as pain flared from his middle reminding him he was still recovering. He curled inside around his eggs in the burrow Heinz had made for him in a large terrarium to imitate a platypus burrow in the forest. Ten long days had passed since Perry had given birth and he and Heinz were anticipating the hatching. 

Heinz had been incredibly sweet in asking Perry if he needed anything for the hatching. Perry politely declined all he needed was Heinz to be there, the rest he’d figure out with his strong parental instincts. 

Perry nudged an egg with the tip of his bill as he tucked the eggs underneath his tail to warm them. The egg rocked slightly, as if it was eager to hatch, which it probably was as today was the day the incubation period was over. 

The eggs shifting around woke him from his light doze. Excitement, fizzled in his belly, it was time. 

Perry chattered to Heinz, who was in the living room. Heinz came rushing in. 

“Is it time for the hatching?” he asked breathlessly. 

Perry chirred. It was. 

Quickly, Heinz zapped himself into a platypus, then shimmied himself next to Perry. 

The two lovers pressed against each other as the two eggs started cracking open. Two little teal bills poked out of the cream colored shell. 

Heinz held his breath, as their puggles slowly made their way into the world. 

They squeaked as they tumbled onto the burrow’s cool floor. 

Perry immediately drew them close to his belly to lap the milk secreted from his fur.  

Doofenshmirtz touched his nose to Perry’s ear. 

“They’re adorable my schatz .” 

The two platypuses looked like tiny copies of their parents.

“I never thought…” Heinz’s voice broke. He cleared his throat and tried again “...I never thought that I’d find love again and raise a family. Perry, I love you so much. Words cannot express how much you and our puggles mean to me. I’ve never been so happy in my life.” 

Tears fell from his eyes to land on Perry’s fur. 

Perry kissed his husband. “ I feel the same way. ” 

The two lay there watching their little family as they lapped Perry’s milk. 

“We’ll have to think of names.” Heinz murmured sleepily. 

Perry nodded. 

But before he could reply a voice sounded from the lab. 

“Hooy! Anyone here?” 

“What’s she doing here?” Heinz asked Perry, raising his voice he replied, “In the bedroom!” 

A Black girl rounded the corner into the bedroom. “Aha! There y'all are. Found you! Ehehe.” 

A bright smile stretched from ear to ear as Aquamarine entered. 

“I’m just checking up on you two; I know your puggles should be hatching soon. Mona wanted me to come just in case there were any complications.” 

Doofenshmirtz shook his head, “No complications at all. Our puggles hatched safely. You’re welcome to stay for a while.” 

“Really?” 

Aquamarine knelt to peer into the dark burrow. “So cute…” she breathed quietly so as not to disturbed the exhausted puggles. 

Perry looked proud as the puggles nursed. 

“We were just thinking of names.” Heinz said. 

Aquamarine clapped her hands together, “Why don’t you name one, Aqua maybe her full name could be Awkwafina? You know after yours truly? But spelled differently.” 

Heinz laughed, “Perry and I were discussing that. You’ve been a great help, without you Perry wouldn’t be here. You saved him. Both you and Mona.” 

Aquamarine blushed, “Oh come one Dr. D! You give me too much credit.” But it was true. If she hadn’t been there then, Dennis might have killed Perry in the warehouse. The future could have been drastically altered and she didn’t want that. That was her secret mission after all, protecting the future, which meant Heinz Doofenshmirtz and Perry the Platypus had to stay alive to ensure the survival of the Tri-state area, but that was a story for another day. What mattered now was the present, and Aquamarine was so happy to have the opportunity to live out the present with this influential couple.   

She lay on the floor, pillowing her head on her hands. 

“What about the boy? What are you going to name him?” 

“We haven’t decided,” Heinz replied,

“Hmm,” Aquamarine thought as she studied the fierce platypus battling his sister for milk. Her thoughts turned to her own brother whose emotions flowed like a river, untamed, and wild, yet with a caring sensitive side. “How about River?” 

Perry’s ears perked up. He liked that name. 

“I think that’s the one,” Heinz said, noticing Perry’s interest. 

Aquamarine smiled, “River and Awkwafina, Aqua for short, welcome to the world little ones.” 

A Few Months Later…

Awkwafina and River were growing fast, they'd been weaned and were learning to swim under their parents’ careful guidance. Phineas and Ferb had gone back to school and were frequent visitors around the house. Aquamarine had temporarily moved in, because she got behind on her rent. While she earned enough money to find a cheaper place she’d been very helpful in watching the young puggles while Doofenshmirtz and Perry had dates or occasionally helped out at O.W.C.A keeping the peace in the Tri-state area. Heinz had become a full time agent there and Perry had been training him. Their first assignment had been a mess. Heinz found it hard to fit into the group they were assigned too and Perry found it hard to rely on his teammates since he’d been a solo agent, but they’d managed to get it done. Although there were still some questions unanswered, how in the world did a fly of all things develop a grudge against Major Monogram? Perry sighed, some things just didn’t make sense, but that was life.  

Perry’s watch beeped while he was cuddled with his husband on the couch. Aquamarine was in the kitchen making pasta for dinner, while the puggles played in the pool Heinz built for them. 

Perry tried to ignore it, but the sound grew louder. He wouldn’t be able to ignore this assignment. 

“What does the Major want?” Aquamarine had come out of the kitchen. 

Perry shrugged. 

Heinz reached over and took the watch from him. “Let’s get this over with. What’s up Major Monobrow?” 

Major Monogram disapproving face filled the small screen. “We have reports of an evil scientist building some sort of time traveling device.”

Aquamarine yelped. 

Perry and Doofenshmirtz looked quizzically at her.

  “I uh, just remembered that I didn’t turn the heat down on the pasta!” she dashed back into the kitchen. 

“Anyhoo,” Monogram continued, ignoring her. “I’m sending you three to stop this evil scientist before they tear a hole in space time.” 

“Aren’t you forgetting something, sir?” Carl asked from off-screen. 

“Oh, yes,” he said, “Thank you Carl, I nearly forgot, Phienas and Ferb have experience dealing with time things, so ask them to help stop this time-stealing bastard!” 

Perry laid his paw on Heinz’s hand as the message ended. 

“I guess we’ll have to get Vanessa to watch the children.” They both knew Vanessa adored her half siblings. She was always spoiling them. 

Aquamarine plopped herself next to the couple on the couch. “Pasa’s done, so now what? We stop this time traveling scientist?” 

Heinz nodded, “Yup. We’d better go soon. I’ll call Vanessa right away.” 

Perry kissed Heinz then dug his hat out from the folds of the couch, he nuzzled goodbye to his children then hopped into his hover-car. “ Let’s go!” 

The End…or is it?