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01. Heavy — "My parents died this time last year," Ponyboy says, his eyes red rimmed in the dying embers of their fire, the tears in his eyes swelling up just at the mention, "I thought — I don't know. I thought everything would be so different."
02. Slip — Sometimes, Soda slips up, turns his head and expects Ponyboy to be there beside him and every single time he's left with the reminder that no, Ponyboy wasn't there.
03. Uphold — Paul reaches over to hold Darry's hand in the privacy of their own bathroom, his gaze firm on his husband, "You have to keep your parents' wishes in mind, Darrel. You're upholding their business, and you're keeping this family together."
04. Magic — The fireworks in the sky are so brilliant, so beautiful, and Ponyboy loves how they form a beautiful backdrop to everything, loves the way they light up Dallas' grinning face.
05. Hurry — The wind is cutting their faces as they rush back inside of the church, the cold so fierce against Dallas' skin that he wonders if he's even felt this kind of cold before in his life.
06. Hole — Never in his life has he wanted someone as much as he wants Ponyboy in this rut, no one has ever felt as good around his cock as Ponyboy does now, arching his hips up in the nest they have and Dallas knows he'll never go back.
07. Music — Every note sung by the choir seems to be pitch perfect tonight, on Christmas Eve, and Ponyboy wraps his hand around Dallas' in the back of the church, happy they'd snuck down for this.
08. Inside — In their own church on Jay Mountain, in the ruins of Windrixville, Dallas and Ponyboy sing with the radio on and off, their voices rough and amateur and still perfectly in tune with each other, their bodies tangled up closely, scents mixing, and heaven here between them.
09. Later — Later, Darry will cry to himself about his parents being gone, about his brother being possible tortured or dead.
10. One — "You ain't the only one missing people today, Darry," Soda says, rubbing at his eyes.
11. World — The world goes on outside of Jay Mountain, without Ponyboy or Dallas or Johnny.
12. Cheat — Dallas sucks at his teeth, thinking about hustling the college kids staggering around the streets drunk, thinking of who'd be easiest to trick — their scents are as about as pickled as those Socs had been months ago, and if he could take them on he could take these guys easy.
13. Pink — The rut makes Dallas' cheeks pink, his eyes dark and his mouth curl into a generous snarl that makes Ponyboy want him more as he pins his hands down on the church floor.
14. Love — He wants to say I love you, I love you, I love you and even Ponyboy, as new at all of this as he is, understands it's too early even though he's finding it's getting harder and harder to swallow down the words.
15. Eat — Soda holds onto Darry's hand, and Sandy slips her own small one into his; Paul seems to do so reluctantly, apparently not from a household where they prayed before they ate.
16. Stone — Irene Cade's face is rigid at the funeral, bereft of tears, of anything except a hardened conviction to find the one who killed her son and for the first time in his life, Darry agrees with her.
17. Boss — "You have to be their leader, Darry," Paul insists.
18. Feather — Reluctantly, Dallas sits with the older church women, hands washed, and ready to help them pluck the chickens they'd brought in.
19. Here — If he were back in Tulsa, he'd be going to the graveyard with his brothers, flowers in his hands, looking at the two slabs that denoted his parents graves — instead he's here, curled up with Dallas, telling him what his mother's face was like, how golden she was.
20. Now — "This doesn't make us friends," Angela says to Cherry coolly, watching Sylvia flee the bathroom.
21. Parent — "My Pops doesn't give a shit about me," Dallas says, his fingers running through Ponyboy's hair, his voice a deep rumble in the church, "Wasn't nothing special about him."
22. Free — The words in the newspaper are frank, that the Cades would never rest until Dallas Winston wasn't a free man anymore.
23. Whimsy — Everytime they edge towards a talk about the future, about what they would do once winter passes, they seem unable to cross that ledge together, pulling back into the spell that Jay Mountain has.
24. Worry — It worries Ponyboy and Dallas both, knowing that the future is still so far out, that they have no idea what they're doing, and neither of them can voice it all, neither want to pull away from this place above everything else, where there only law was whatever nature dictated.
25. Star — Two-Bit doesn't know how everyone can just go about their lives with everything boiling over all at once — even his father wants him to get back on the mat and be the star he wants him to be and more and more, Two-Bit feels that maybe, just maybe it's not something he wants anymore.
26. Way — The only way forward is through, Darry decides.
27. Dish — Fine china is placed out for them all, meant to unite the grieving two families of the Cades and the Curtises.
28. Pride — The greaser girls form a tight line as they move through the hallway, aware that the rumble was happening soon.
29. Build — While Dallas helps out the church ladies with making their meal, Ponyboy makes his way to the table where a gingerbread house is being built, and he quietly sits beside them, helping them as best he can to get everything put together for the kids.
30. Expelled — Molly's hand rubs his own, and she offers a slight smile, "If it makes you feel better, Two, I almost got expelled for trying to get you out of there."
31. Perfect — Morning dawns in it's perfect splendor, the rays falling across all of Windrixville, seeping through one of the small holes in the roof turning Ponyboy's skin into a beautiful pale strip of light in Dallas' vision and he can't think of anywhere else he'd rather be than here, watching Ponyboy breathe beside him, content.
32. Night — The sounds they hear outside, they never go and investigate in a night this dark, in a landscape this wild.
33. Lost — Everyday, he feels lost and Paul is there to tether him to reality, to keep him settled, remind him he was a principled alpha, able to lead everyone where they needed to go even if he's unsure if he can see what's on the horizon as clearly as Paul.
34. Time — Everyone said that the grief would get easier and easier; does that ring true when there's another grief, at the edge of the other?
35. Evil — "Dallas Winston is evil," Mr. Cade says, his voice clear in the throng of reporters in front of him, all of their mics pointed towards his grieving face, their cameras taking in the image of Johnny's smiling school photo, held in his mother's hands, "He took our son from us in the most barbaric way and we will not rest, God help us, until he is found! He took — he took him, and he could have taken Ponyboy Curtis to the same end!"
36. Today — "Merry Christmas, kid," Dallas says, shoving something in Ponyboy's hands that looks like it's been wrapped in a brown paper bag of some kind and the happiness that surges in his chest is so warm and strong that Ponyboy feels like he might be swept up in it entirely.
37. Crack — The sound of a branch cracking is loud as a gunshot and worse is the sound it makes as it plummets to the ground in the middle of the night, waking both Dallas and Ponyboy from slumber.
38. Quit — "I know you don't want to call it off, Darry. But — think about what the cops said."
39. Play — He catches a glimpse of Ponyboy playing with the kids — they probably latched onto him for being an omega — and for just a few seconds, Dallas watches as he picks up one of the kids, kissing their cheek and he thinks about what it might be like if he'd left Ponyboy in Tulsa, if he hadn't dragged him out here.
40. Nut — "The one thing my Dad always liked," Ponyboy snuggles closer to Dallas, dragging his finger over the thin skin where a mating mark could be, "Was Nutcrackers. He used to always get a custom one, every Christmas."
41. Down — Going down the Mountain is perilous, but hell, they've got coats and it's early enough to go down there again, just for the festivities.
42. Ready — Angela isn't sure that she's ready to deal with what she'd seen: Bob Sheldon kissing Cherry Valance, Dallas' supposed best friend.
43. Slow — Slowly, Dallas reaches down to brush the snow from Ponyboy's hair, reveling in the happiness on his face as the snow continues to fall around them.
44. Animal — If Dallas didn't know better, as he drags his thumb down Ponyboy's cheek, he could swear that Ponyboy's teeth have shifted in his mouth, gotten sharper from their time up the mountain.
45. Teen — Ponyboy is only fourteen years old, and he's lost in the world, away from his family, possibly dead or in the hands of a proven killer.
46. Burn — Anger burns in Angela's chest, her hands shoving Cherry into a locker, screaming out, "Bob? You're dating Bob? After everything?"
47. Tie — Everytime Ponyboy thinks he might pull away from Dallas' cock, he shifts and that knot inside of him feels too fucking good to pull away from and he sinks again into the feeling of happiness, moaning as Dallas keeps him pulled flush against him.
48. Blast — Shame washes over Cherry at Angela's accusation — she was right, she was a greaser girl who shouldn't be with him, who shouldn't be with someone who had such hatred for Dallas and she was.
49. They — Sodapop shuts his eyes, curled with Sandy, able to feel the baby kick, and hopes that Ponyboy is alright, that they'll see each other again.
50. Rot — Ponyboy looks down at Johnny in his dream, able to see the maggots starting to crawl about his corpse, and when he looks down at his hand, he can see there's a switchblade in his palm, soaking in blood, his fingers holding it so tightly the tips have turned white.