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Tommy is cooking dinner when Evan walks into his house. They’d exchanged keys recently, and every time Evan uses his it makes Tommy’s heart flutter a little. He’s only gotten to this stage in a relationship twice before, and in the past it’s always felt a little like an invasion. It’s never felt like someone coming home. It’s never felt like this.
“Hey,” Tommy calls out. Shirtless, he’s tossing the simmering pan of vegetables, being careful not to move too quickly. He’s been burned by this maneuver more than once.
“Hey,” Evan says weakly. He drops his bag, takes his shoes off at the door, and then makes a beeline right for Tommy. He looks exhausted.
Tommy puts the pan back onto the heat and opens his arms for a hug. Evan sinks into his embrace with a sigh. He presses his face into the bare skin of Tommy’s shoulder and takes a deep breath.
“Should I ask how your day was?” Tommy holds Evan close, rocking back and forth slowly.
This is another new thing with Evan: Tommy has never had a partner take such comfort in being held by him before. For such a big man, Evan manages to make himself almost small in Tommy’s arms. Maybe not small, exactly, but comfortable. Unashamed. He allows himself to be vulnerable; to ask for what he wants. It makes Tommy feel trusted and gentle. Evan clings and Tommy wants to keep him tucked up against his body forever.
Evan mumbles something unintelligible into Tommy’s skin in response to his question.
“What was that, baby?” Tommy smiles.
Evan unburies his mouth and leans his cheek on Tommy’s shoulder instead. “Bees,” he says.
“Bees?”
“Bees,” Evan confirms. He tightens his arms around Tommy’s body. “Twenty-two million bees.”
“What?” Tommy asks incredulously. He feels like he should have heard about that. This is what he gets for spending the day working in the garage and listening to music instead of the news.
“It was a bee-nado,” Evan says emphatically.
Tommy laughs and presses a kiss to Evan’s head. He’s so adorable sometimes it makes Tommy’s heart ache. He loves the way Evan sees the world, the connections he makes, the way he expresses himself. He says the goofiest things so sincerely, without worrying about how it will be received. He’s not afraid to be himself. It never fails to make Tommy smile.
“That sounds intense,” Tommy says. He takes one hand off of Evan to stir the vegetables (with a wooden spatula this time), tightening his other arm around Evan so he still feels held. “Did you get stung?”
Evan snuggles in closer. “No. We had good protection. Eddie got chased by a big swarm, though.”
Tommy can’t help his smirk. “They must’ve seen his Freddie Mercury mustache and thought he was their queen.”
Evan groans through a laugh and hugs him tighter. “That was bad.”
Tommy scoffs. “That was good and you know it.”
Evan hums noncommittally and kisses the side of Tommy’s neck. Tommy feels the smile on Evan’s lips where they press into his skin.
One-handed, Tommy turns the heat under the vegetables off, checks the quinoa, and notes the time left on the chicken. Satisfied that nothing else needs his attention, he wraps both arms back around Evan.
Neither of them say anything for a long moment. They just stand there in Tommy’s kitchen, holding each other as the aromas of a home-cooked meal fill the space.
“I love this,” Evan murmurs into Tommy’s neck.
“I love you,” Tommy says for the first time, before he can stop himself.
Maybe he should feel panicked. Maybe he should want to take it back and hide a little longer. Tommy spent so many years holding back from saying everything he felt: it’s against his instincts even now to be careless like this. But now it’s out in the air between them, like a weight off of his chest, and when Evan lifts his head to be eye-level with Tommy, he looks awestruck just like he did after Tommy kissed him for the first time. Tommy knows it wasn’t the wrong thing to say.
“You love me?” Evan echoes. His eyes are soft and wet and his smile is a little disbelieving.
“I love you,” Tommy repeats, this time with intention. “I didn’t mean to say it right now, but I do. I have for a while.”
“Really?” Evan asks.
“Is that so hard to believe?” Tommy brings a hand up to cup Evan’s face. “I couldn’t even bail on our first date without telling you that you’re adorable. I’ve been gone on you for a while now. But it’s okay if you’re not ready to say it back.”
“No!” Evan bursts out, tightening his hold on Tommy for a moment. His eyes are wide and earnest. “No, I do. I- I love you. I just didn’t think you would be there yet. People usually take a while to get used to me. I’m kind of a lot.”
Tommy hums in agreement and smiles. “You’re definitely a lot. That’s one of my favorite things about you. There’s so much of you, and you don’t hide it. You’re big and loud and weird. You don’t always think before you speak. You’re you. And I love you.”
The awestruck look on Evan’s face melts into something sappier and more secure. He nuzzles into Tommy’s hand on his cheek.
“I love you too,” Evan says. “I’m so glad I get to say that out loud now.”
His eyes are fixed on Tommy’s lips, and who is Tommy to deny him such a simple request?
Tommy kisses him gently, lovingly. He rubs his thumb back and forth over Evan’s cheekbone and relishes the little sounds that Evan sighs into his mouth. Tommy doesn’t pull away until the timer goes off and he has to check on the chicken roasting in the oven.
They sit close together during dinner. Gone is any pretense of formality or attempts to seem well-mannered. They’re in love. If Evan wants to hold his hand over the table so that neither of them can cut their chicken, that’s just fine with Tommy. He’ll gladly go through the rest of his life using only one hand if it means Evan is attached to the other.