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Chapter Text

True to her word, Feixiao starts sending Moze on more missions after he passes the test. Just small, simple missions that he can complete in between continuing with his studies and training, seemingly inconsequential but still contributing to the national security of the Yaoqing, or so Feixiao tells him.

It's some time before he gets to use the new dagger she'd had made for him. It's his first mission acting entirely on his own, with previous missions following the lines of making copies of documents while the target has been distracted by someone else, or being the one to cause a distraction while a more experienced operative carries out the main mission. This time, Feixiao wants him to surveil the target and decide for himself the best time to break into their home and search for the weapon blueprints they're suspected to have stolen.

Moze spends several days conducting reconnaissance, then breaks in during the day while the target is at work. Unfortunately, someone else has had the same idea, and they've gotten there first. Moze finds the other intruder in the target's study rifling through the cupboards. The two of them stare at each other for a moment—the other's face is covered by a hood and a scarf over their mouth and nose—then Moze unsheathes his dagger in warning. The other person isn't intimidated, and draws their own weapon.

Moze moves in without hesitation. His opponent backs up to put the desk in the centre of the room between them, but Moze simply vaults over it and kicks out at his opponent. The fight then begins in earnest. It doesn't last for long, ending when Moze gets in a lucky hit and his opponent's dagger goes clattering to the ground. Now disarmed, the other intruder cuts their losses and flees through the open window they'd apparently entered through.

It's hard to say whether they were here for the same reason he is, but the blueprints must still be here since Moze hadn't seen anything of similar size on the intruder's person when they'd fled. He continues the search they'd started and eventually turns up the blueprints in a tube behind the false back of a bookshelf. All sheets are accounted for, and to Moze's inexpert eye, look undamaged and unaltered. There's no way to tell if copies have been made, but that's not for Moze to worry about. All that remains of his task is to return the blueprints to Feixiao.

As an afterthought, he picks up the fallen dagger; Feixiao might be interested in finding out who else had Moze's target in their sights. The other intruder had been wearing gloves so there's no hope of obtaining fingerprints, but maybe information can be gleaned from the make of the dagger.

There's blood on the blade. Just a thin line of it along the upper half of one edge, but still fresh enough to be bright red and free flowing. How…? Moze looks down at himself, sees a clean slit made in the side of his shirt and the patch of red surrounding it, and only then does he feel the sting of the cut left by the dagger.

He can't let Feixiao find out. She'll make him go see the healers, and though he knows they aren't the same as what the Disciples had called 'healers'—or so Feixiao has told him—and that they won't do anything beyond cleaning and dressing his wounds—or so Feixiao says—just the thought of being near them is enough to make his stomach churn and a cold sweat break out all over his skin.

It's not that bad anyway. When he looks down, he doesn't see any fresh blood, and when he touches the cut with a clean finger, it comes away dry. It'll heal fine on its own. He doesn't need to see a healer.

Moze wipes the blood off the dagger using the rug on the floor, and zips up his jacket to be certain that he won't accidentally reveal the bloodstain on his shirt, and washes his hands until not a speck of blood remains. Only then does he report back to Feixiao.

Feixiao isn't too concerned about the apparent involvement of another party in this affair.

"It was bound to happen once word got out about the missing blueprints," she says as she accepts the dagger from Moze. "Still, I'll have someone from the Artisanship Commission take a look at this in case it turns up anything useful. How did you get this? Was there a fight?"

Moze decides on a half-truth as he nods. "Briefly. I managed to disarm them and they fled."

"You didn't get hurt?" Feixiao asks.

He wishes she hadn't. He shakes his head and prays that the lie doesn't show on his face.

"Make sure you go see Jiaoqiu if you do, alright? He'll look after you."

Feixiao dismisses Moze for the rest of the day, and Moze takes advantage of the fact that he knows for certain Feixiao won't be home until evening to see to the wound in his side.

The cut is shallow and not that long, and will likely heal to nothing more than a thin scar within the next day or two. Moze cleans off the dried blood and sticks an adhesive bandage over the top to stop his clothes from rubbing against the cut directly and reopening it, which is probably all the tending it needs. No healers necessary. The blood comes out of his shirt after some soaking and he mends the tear left by the dagger with a small sewing kit he finds in the back of a drawer containing other miscellaneous objects, and he's organising the rest of the drawer's contents by the time Feixiao gets home.

As time passes, Moze's combat skills improve, and the difficulty of the missions he's assigned also increases accordingly. Still, he manages to avoid major injury and conceal the injuries he does attain from Feixiao, and though she continues to remind Moze after missions to see Jiaoqiu if needed, she never takes it further than that, and Jiaoqiu never says anything either.

Then one afternoon, an urgent missive comes in from the Ten-Lords Commission that has Feixiao leaping to her feet and grabbing her jacket with one hand and axe with the other. Moze looks up from the files he'd been reading, waiting to see if she'll give him any orders.

"You can come if you can keep up," Feixiao says as she throws Moze a grin over her shoulder.

He's not one to turn down a challenge from Feixiao.

It's a much more frenzied mission than those Moze usually undertakes. He's not used to working in the open or alongside so many others, but he keeps his eyes on Feixiao and never lets her out of his sight, and though he might not match her move for move, he's never more than a step behind.

The mission goes poorly fairly quickly once they pursue their target into the tunnels, and Moze barely has time to contemplate how even Feixiao's missions can go wrong before he's running for his life, racing against the collapsing tunnel and ignoring the panicked shouts of those behind him.

Feixiao is behind him. He falters only once. She sees him looking back and yells at him to keep running, so that's what he does; there's no time to think about why he'd even stopped in the first place.

The end of the tunnel is in sight when he hears an almighty groan above his head, and he makes the split-second decision to throw himself to the side instead of forward. A huge piece of the roof comes crashing down right where he'd been just a moment ago, spraying dirt and chunks of rock everywhere. Debris showers down on Moze's back, and he turns his face to the ground and covers his head with his hands until there's a slight reprieve. He clambers to his feet just as Feixiao catches up to him. He automatically shakes his head when she asks if he got hit, and forces his feet to take him the remaining distance out of the tunnel.

It's a relief to be in open air again. Moze's body is sore all over from the sudden exertion of running for his life, and there's a sharp pain running across the back of his neck and down his left shoulder blade. Moze rotates his shoulder and freezes when he feels something embedded inside, and a trickle of fresh blood running down his back. He glances around to see if Feixiao has noticed, but she's busy talking to someone bearing the insignia of the Ten-Lords Commission. He just needs to hold out until she dismisses him, then he can go somewhere secluded to assess the wound. Hopefully, it won't heal over whatever is lodged inside before he gets the chance to look at it.

Moze discreetly turns on the spot so that his back is facing a wall and not Feixiao. He's not bleeding through his jacket when he reaches a hand up to check—he knows his shirt is wet though, and the congealing blood feels disgusting—but he wouldn't put it past Feixiao to notice anyway.

Sure enough, when she turns back to the soldiers and her eyes fall on Moze, she asks him again, "Do you have any injuries that need to be looked at?"

Moze shakes his head, keeping his movements measured and his expression neutral.

"Alright," Feixiao says, clearly unconvinced but distracted by the ongoing chaos. "Come with me to the Alchemy Commission anyway. We're all going."

Moze's hopes for slinking away are dashed when Feixiao ushers him into the same starskiff as her. Other soldiers board the starskiff too, so he stays quietly tucked into the corner hoping that Feixiao will forget about him, but he has no such luck when they disembark at the Alchemy Commission and there are already healers there checking for major injuries and concussions as the soldiers file past.

"Moze, come over here and let the healer check," Feixiao says, several metres away.

Moze makes no move to get closer. He knows he's disobeying a direct order, but at the same time, Feixiao has told him before to let her know if he's uncomfortable with something she's doing, and, well, he's letting her know.

"What if I did it?" she asks, and this time she closes the distance between them.

She raises her hand, slowly, deliberately, and he jerks away, clenching his jaw so that his face won't reveal anything to Feixiao while they're this close to each other.

He's being too suspicious. Feixiao is going to know he's hiding something. Should he just let her check him for a concussion and hope she doesn't notice? What if she does? Will she be angry that he lied to her when he said he hadn't been injured? She hasn't gotten angry at him for anything yet in the time he's known her, but surely she won't allow him to lie so blatantly without consequence.

A soldier comes up to her, but Feixiao won't be dissuaded from her goal.

"Come on," she says to Moze. "We're going to see Jiaoqiu."

Moze isn't sure if that's a better or worse option. On one hand, Jiaoqiu is a healer and might be able to see something that Feixiao can't. On the other hand, since Feixiao is in a hurry, she might walk with Moze just far enough to see him enter the infirmary, and he can more easily make his escape from there.

Feixiao is getting impatient. She makes Moze's mind up for him when she says, "It's not negotiable. I can't have you going on missions if I don't know you're in good health. So? What's it going to be?"

She's left him with no choice; he goes with her.

Feixiao doesn't leave him at the doors of the infirmary. She walks him all the way to Jiaoqiu's office and doesn't go anywhere until he's sitting in the chair by Jiaoqiu's desk.

"Be good for Jiaoqiu," she tells him. "If he clears you to leave, let me know where you're going and I'll come get you after my meeting."

Then she leaves, and it's just Moze and Jiaoqiu.

They've never been alone together before, not counting the times when Feixiao has briefly stepped away to answer a call or get something from another room. Moze has no point of reference for what Jiaoqiu will do now that he knows Feixiao isn't watching and won't be back any time soon.

Jiaoqiu reaches into his pocket and takes out something long and thin, like a pen. He clicks the button on one end, and a light turns on at the other. "I'm going to shine this light in your eyes to make sure you aren't concussed," he says. "Raise your head slightly and look straight ahead."

Moze complies, keeping as still as he can and not even blinking when Jiaoqiu raises the light to his eyes.

"Looks like you're fine for now," Jiaoqiu says as he clicks the light off, "but concussion symptoms can sometimes be delayed, so keep an eye out over the next few days for headaches, nausea, dizziness, blurred vision, light sensitivity, fatigue, trouble sleeping; pretty much anything at all. Make sure you let Feixiao or I know, alright?"

Moze nods, only half-listening in his eagerness to leave and his wariness of the drawer that Jiaoqiu is opening.

"Before I let you go, let me clean up some of these cuts for you." Jiaoqiu gestures at the small cuts that Moze can feel stinging on his face.

Moze makes to stand up and leave anyway. Jiaoqiu reaches out for Moze, and Moze turns to the side so that Jiaoqiu's hand slides off his shoulder, but in doing so, exposes the back of his neck to Jiaoqiu. Moze freezes when he feels the light touch of fingertips.

"You can't even see this one back here," Jiaoqiu says. "Just let me do it for you while you're here, alright?"

For a moment, Moze thinks the blood has soaked through his jacket, then he realises that Jiaoqiu is looking at a cut most likely left by the piece of debris that is currently lodged in his left shoulder. It can't be that bad if he hadn't remembered it was there. He could still leave. Feixiao had only asked him to let Jiaoqiu check him for a concussion, which Jiaoqiu has done. Moze won't be disobeying her orders if he leaves now, right? But Jiaoqiu might tell her about the cut Moze hadn't let him treat, and Feixiao might think that Moze had lied about not being injured, and she might ask Jiaoqiu to give him a more thorough examination.

Moze makes a vague noise of assent and sits back down.

Jiaoqiu pulls out a wad of gauze from the drawer and fills a small bowl with water from the sink in the corner, then starts cleaning around the cut. He works so quickly and lightly that Moze might not have known he'd begun at all if not for the cool drops of water left behind. Moze feels it a bit more when Jiaoqiu starts cleaning the cut itself, but it's nothing that he can't handle.

"It's not that deep, but I'm going to disinfect it just to be safe," Jiaoqiu says as he sets down the bowl of water and goes back to his desk drawer to retrieve a small bottle. "This will sting a little."

Moze braces himself and stays perfectly still as Jiaoqiu dabs antiseptic on the cut. When Jiaoqiu puts the bottle down and picks up a packet containing a sterile dressing, Moze allows himself to relax, only to be caught off guard when Jiaoqiu's hand brushes over his left shoulder and jostles the hidden wound there. Moze's breath catches in his throat before he can stop it, and he tenses on instinct. He bites down on the inside of his cheek to distract himself from the sudden pain, but it's too late; Jiaoqiu's noticed.

Jiaoqiu's hands pause for a long while. Moze doesn't dare turn around to look at him. When Jiaoqiu resumes reaching for the roll of tape on his desk, Moze allows himself to begin hoping that Jiaoqiu won't say anything.

But luck is not on his side today, as the moment Jiaoqiu finishes taping down the dressing, he says, "Take your shirt off."

Moze glances up at Jiaoqiu, but Jiaoqiu is standing in Moze's peripheral vision and he can't get a good look at Jiaoqiu's face without turning his head. Moze has no idea what Jiaoqiu is thinking. If Moze doesn't comply, will Jiaoqiu tell Feixiao? Will Feixiao care? Moze doesn't remember her telling him he had to obey Jiaoqiu, but sometimes he stops listening when she's been talking for a while.

Jiaoqiu crouches down in front of Moze. "Let me see," he says, his voice low and quiet. "Let me help you."

Moze remains frozen in indecision. When Jiaoqiu reaches for his arm, it's easier to continue doing nothing, even when Jiaoqiu tugs on the sleeve of his jacket and agitates the wound. Moze doesn't make a sound this time, but Jiaoqiu lets go anyway.

"We'll take it off the other way, then," he says. "Help me out here."

Moze continues not doing anything to help or hinder Jiaoqiu. Jiaoqiu isn't deterred and reaches for Moze's right arm this time, working the jacket sleeve off followed by the rest of the jacket.

"You were going to leave without getting this seen to?" Jiaoqiu asks, his voice still not betraying whatever his true thoughts are.

Moze doesn't see any point in responding when the answer is obvious.

"I'm going to cut away more of your shirt so I can see it better, okay?"

When Moze feels Jiaoqiu's fingers on his back, he braces himself for the imminent pain and reminds himself not to move, but Jiaoqiu retracts his hand without touching the wound at all.

"Moze," Jiaoqiu says, sounding extremely grave. "If anything I ever do hurts you, you need to let me know, okay? Sometimes it'll be unavoidable if we're in the field and don't have any medicine, but even then, I still want you to tell me. I can't help you if I don't know where you're hurting, and I don't ever want to unintentionally hurt you. Do you understand?"

Moze automatically nods.

"Good," Jiaoqiu says. "Now, I don't want to do anything else without seeing how deep the metal has gone in, but I'm not going to rummage through your shoulder without giving you something to numb the pain. Wait here a moment while I get an injection for you."

Jiaoqiu leaves the room, and Moze is left alone with the lingering echoes of Jiaoqiu's words.

Words are cheap. Moze can't even count all the times he's been told "this won't hurt much," or "it will all be over soon," only for the speaker to be proved false in the very next moment. But that had been then. Things are different now. At least, Feixiao has shown him as much. Moze hasn't had as much cause to be alone with Jiaoqiu and in fact avoids it wherever possible, but Feixiao's trust in him has to count for something, right? Maybe Moze should give him a chance too. Just this once.

Jiaoqiu returns shortly with a syringe which contains, as promised, something that has the area around Moze's shoulder rapidly turning numb in the time it takes Jiaoqiu to see to the other cuts and scrapes Moze had sustained to the exposed parts of his skin. Moze barely pays attention to the faint sting of antiseptic, more focused on keeping track of Jiaoqiu's every move.

When Jiaoqiu stands behind Moze and asks, "Do you feel that?" Moze doesn't feel anything, but nevertheless says, "That hurts."

"Really?" Jiaoqiu asks.

He sounds more surprised than skeptical, but Moze has said all he intends to. He waits and watches to see what Jiaoqiu does next.

"We'll give it another five minutes," Jiaoqiu says.

He spends the next five minutes cleaning up. Moze watches him carefully, but he only approaches Moze again once the timer goes off. This time, Moze doesn't react when Jiaoqiu checks if the anaesthetic has taken effect yet, and Jiaoqiu takes it as confirmation he can begin his work.

It's somewhat disconcerting to not be able to feel anything that Jiaoqiu is doing, and the first sign Moze gets that Jiaoqiu is doing something is a soft clink as Jiaoqiu drops a small metal shard onto a waiting tray. It's about half the size of a strale, irregularly shaped and all but one corner covered in blood. Funny how these things always turn out to be smaller than they feel.

"It doesn't look as bad as I thought it would be," Jiaoqiu says. "I'm sure you're keen to get out of here, so I'll just stitch it up then let you go. The stitches will dissolve on their own after a week, so you won't need to worry about getting them taken out. Change the dressing at least once daily and let Feixiao or I know immediately if the wound seems to be getting worse, alright? Even long-life species are susceptible to infection.

"Make sure you rest that side of your body so your shoulder gets the chance to heal properly. That means no training, no missions, and no vigorous exercise. Get as much sleep as you can and while you'll want to cut back on your caloric intake, you should still try to eat three meals a day. Rest properly and you'll be back at it in no time. And do feel free to come back if you need another shot for the pain."

Jiaoqiu finally lets Moze go after making an additional offer of allowing him to wait in one of the infirmary's unused rooms until Feixiao has returned from her meeting. Moze doesn't know where he should go, but he knows he definitely doesn't want to stay here. Should he go back to Feixiao's office? It's getting into late afternoon though, and she might want to go straight home after her meeting with the Ten-Lords Commission.

Home…when had that word stopped bringing to mind the stronghold? That life seems a distant memory now, a fading light at the far end of a very long tunnel. What stands clearly in the light before him now is a rather nondescript house, one might think too modest for someone of Feixiao's standing, or too small to contain her vivacious spirit, and indeed, at times she seems so much larger than life that she barely leaves space for anyone else in the room, but Moze has still managed to carve out a place for himself in her—in their—home.

He goes home.

He makes his way there without issue, but the moment he walks through the door, his limbs grow heavy and even the thought of taking a bath or shower seems like too much effort. Maybe if he takes a nap he'll get some energy back. He texts Feixiao to let her know where he is, then goes to his room to lie down for a bit.

He wakes up to the sound of the front door opening. He listens as Feixiao takes her keys out of the lock, turns on the lights, closes the door, and takes off her boots. He can't hear her footsteps after that, but soon after, the hallway light comes on, and light floods his room—he must have left his door open—before being slightly dimmed by Feixiao's silhouette. Moze pushes himself upright.

"You don't have to get up, I just came to check on you," Feixiao says. "Jiaoqiu told me what happened. How are you feeling?"

Still tired enough that he thinks he could easily sleep through the night and the entirety of the next day, and sore, from the overworked muscles in his legs to the throbbing in his neck and shoulder.

He shrugs instead of trying to put this into words.

"Come on." Feixiao holds out her hand. "I'll draw you a bath; it'll be easier to keep the wound dry that way. Once you've cleaned up and eaten something, you can sleep for as long as you'd like."

Feixiao briefly leaves to fill the bathtub, and returns to Moze trying unsuccessfully to take his shirt off with one hand.

"Here, let me," Feixiao says.

Moze lets his hand drop and allows Feixiao to take over. When his shirt is off, she places something over the dressing Jiaoqiu had applied, and tapes it in place.

"To keep the dressing from getting wet," Feixiao explains. "Don't submerge it in water though, just clean around it. And don't fall asleep in the bath. You'll be alright if I leave you to it?"

Moze blinks a few times, and feels his body grow slightly more awake. He nods.

"Good. I'll make you something to eat while you clean up. Let me know if you need anything."

The warm bathwater wakes Moze up a little more, especially once he splashes some of it onto his face. This prompts him to start cleaning the rest of his body, and once he's done with that—save for a spot on his right side that he can't reach without straining his injured shoulder—it doesn't feel right to get out without washing his hair too. He drains the tub and turns on the tap, then pours out a handful of shampoo and ducks his hair under the stream of water. Only once the water runs clear does he turn it off and get out of the tub.

Whatever energy the bath had imparted to him quickly fades away as he dries himself off. His shoulder is stiff and starting to ache, and the thought of raising his left arm any higher than his elbow seems like too much effort. By the time he's finished using just his right hand to towel himself off, he's too tired to even try drying his hair. Maybe some energy will return to him after having the food Feixiao had spoken of.

When Moze emerges from the bathroom, a bowl of what looks like soup is sitting at his usual place at the dining table. He doesn't feel hungry, but he knows he'll need to eat to keep his strength up. Besides, he won't be able to sleep until he's dried his hair and changed the sheets on his bed, and he won't be able to do either until he can muster up more energy.

He's mechanically drinking the soup before him—he can't taste much right now but his mouth tingles faintly with spice, a familiar sensation after so many meals with Jiaoqiu—when something soft lands on his head and starts moving.

It takes him a few seconds to realise that it's Feixiao with a towel. She rubs the towel over his head until the stray droplets of water have been absorbed, then gathers a handful of hair at a time and runs it through the towel before moving on to the next section. Once his hair is mostly dry, the towel is replaced with a hairbrush. The rounded tips of the bristles drag satisfyingly across his scalp, and when they catch on a tangle, Feixiao is quick to stop and gently work his hair loose.

"Hey." Feixiao nudges Moze's right shoulder. "Finish your soup before you go to sleep."

Moze sits up, unaware of how far down he'd slumped in his chair and how close he'd been to falling asleep. He's not much more awake now, but he at least has the awareness to finish his soup like Feixiao had told him to.

He must be on the verge of falling asleep again, because it nearly startles him when Feixiao says, "You're not going to training tomorrow, so turn off your alarm and sleep in."

Sleep sounds good. Sleep sounds great. He nods to show his agreement with this plan.

His bowl is empty now. The next logical step is to wash it, then brush his teeth and go to bed. He gets as far as putting his bowl in the kitchen sink and reaching for the tap before Feixiao is there, her hand over his.

"I'll do it," she says. "You go to bed."

She peels his fingers off the tap and turns him towards the hallway. He lets his feet carry him into the bathroom to brush his teeth, then finally he can fall into bed. The last thought he has before falling asleep is that the sheets are clean even though he doesn't remember changing them.

-

Moze sleeps deeply and wakes only when Feixiao knocks on his door and cracks it open.

"Moze? Are you awake?" she asks.

He's not quite sure himself. He gives her a groan in response.

"If you're still tired I'll let you go back to sleep later, but Jiaoqiu will have some words for me if I don't try to get you to eat something, so it's time to get up for a little while, alright?"

Food is…not particularly enticing right now. Even though it must be close to breakfast time since Feixiao looks freshly showered and she only does that after returning from her morning jog, Moze doesn't feel hungry at all. The thought of leaving the comfort of his bed is similarly unappealing. He groans again.

Feixiao comes into Moze's room and brushes the hair away from his face before resting the back of her hand on his forehead.

"Come on, up you get," she says after a few seconds, her hand moving to lightly tousle his hair. "It'll do you some good to move around a bit and eat some food. You can go back to bed afterwards if you still want to."

Feixiao removes her hand from Moze's hair and holds it out in front of him. He stares at it blankly for a few seconds before putting his hand in hers and letting her pull him up into a sitting position.

"There you go," Feixiao says, and ruffles Moze's hair. It's going to be so messy; he's not sure why she seems to like doing it so much. "Breakfast is almost ready, so don't take too long."

Moze kicks the covers off and forces himself out of bed. His shoulder hurts, and any movement of his left arm makes it hurt worse, so he keeps his arm tucked closed to his body as he shuffles off to the bathroom.

Out in the kitchen, Feixiao is at the stove stirring something in a pot. When she sees Moze, she turns the stove off and starts ladling the contents of the pot into two bowls.

"How's your shoulder?" she asks, glancing at Moze as he sits down.

Hurts, he won't say. He gives her a one-sided shrug.

"Jiaoqiu came by last night and dropped off some painkillers for you. Do you want to give them a try?" Feixiao brings over a small bottle of pills and opens it before setting it in front of Moze. "If not, he's offered to come by and give you a shot instead."

Moze's first instinct is to refuse the pills, but the pain in his shoulder is growing close to unbearable, and he doesn't want to bother Jiaoqiu by having Feixiao call him over. And Jiaoqiu might tell—oh. If Jiaoqiu was here last night while Moze was sleeping, then Feixiao probably already knows that Moze lied to her. Or, more likely, she knew when she came home and saw Moze. And she's still not angry with him. He can't remember now why he'd expected her to be. His head feels like it's filled with heavy, acrid smoke. He gives in and tips two pills out onto the table.

They're smooth and shiny like the last pills Jiaoqiu had prescribed him many months ago to correct a vitamin deficiency when Moze still hadn't been eating enough for Jiaoqiu's liking. The coating, Jiaoqiu had told Moze, makes the pills easier to swallow and hides the bitterness of the medicine. And it does, but often the mere act of swallowing the pills is enough to dredge up the taste of past medicines, so Moze still isn't keen on the idea.

Feixiao pours a glass of juice and places it next to the pills. Moze takes a drink and throws the first pill into his mouth, quickly swallowing it before he has time to think. It goes down easily enough, and he does the same with the second pill.

"Feeling okay?" Feixiao asks. "Can you eat some food?"

The pills are showing no sign of coming back up, so Moze nods.

Feixiao has made congee, and she must have started it early if the soft, smooth texture of the rice is anything to go by. Feixiao heaps an assortment of additional ingredients onto her own bowl, but Moze still has no appetite and is content to eat his plain.

The painkillers kick in towards the end of breakfast, and Moze feels much less lethargic with a bit of food in his stomach and without the constant throb of pain in the background. He doesn't go back to bed, but joins Feixiao on the couch where she's got the television on but is ignoring it in favour of her jade abacus. It takes Moze a while of half-heartedly watching the television to realise that today is not a rest day, and that it's long past the time when Feixiao would normally start heading to her office.

"You're not going to work?" Moze asks after several long minutes of consideration.

"I don't have anything today that requires me to be in the office. Nothing that couldn't be rescheduled, anyway," Feixiao replies.

It takes him a few more minutes to fully understand what she means: she'd changed her plans and stayed home…for him? He goes back and forth with himself about asking before deciding he doesn't need to know for sure, and just allows himself to indulge in her quiet company.

Moze eats a bit more at lunch; it's the rest of the congee Feixiao had made, and this time Moze helps himself to soy sauce and shredded meat that he stirs into the rice until everything is evenly distributed. The painkillers he'd taken before breakfast wear off soon after, but he declines Feixiao's suggestion to take more for fear his body decides to object to it this time and the food he'd just eaten comes right back up again. The re-emergence of the pain makes him unenthusiastic about doing anything, even mindlessly watching whatever immersia is on the television, so he retreats to his room and lies down on his bed.

Sleep refuses to come. There are few positions he can lie in that don't make the pain worse, and he can't get comfortable enough in any of them to get in more than a few minutes of light dozing. When Feixiao knocks on his door to ask if he wants dinner, he's even less enthused about it than he had been for breakfast. After taking in his sorry state, she briefly leaves and returns with the bottle of painkillers, a glass of juice, and an empty bowl.

"You need to eat and sleep if you want to recover quickly, but you won't be able to do either if you're in too much pain," she says as she sets everything down on his nightstand. "You felt better after taking the pills this morning, right? Can you try again?"

Experience tells Moze that his body will heal either way, but the fruitless hours spent trying and failing to fall asleep have worn him down. He sits up and takes the pill that Feixiao hands him, swallowing it with some juice. He feels the pill touch the back of his mouth as he swallows, and his throat briefly spasms—Feixiao readies the bowl—but he waits it out, and the bout of nausea quickly passes. He almost turns down the second pill, not wanting to risk it when the first had been such a close call, but Feixiao is already holding it out.

Just endure it, he tells himself, like he has so many times before. He's had much worse; this is nothing.

He swallows the second pill then bites down on the inside of his cheek to pre-emptively forestall the urge to throw up. For good measure, he also clenches one of his hands into a fist as tightly as possible, and focuses on the sensation of his fingernails digging into his palm as he breathes deeply through his nose. When his body feels like his own again, he registers Feixiao's hand on his back rubbing small circles with her thumb.

"You alright?" she asks.

Moze inhales deeply through his nose and exhales slowly through his mouth before nodding.

"Come on, then," Feixiao says, applying a little more pressure with the hand that's on his back. "I haven't made dinner yet, but I don't want you falling asleep before I'm done. We'll have something light, then I'll change your dressing and you can go back to bed."

When Feixiao changes the dressing on his wound after dinner, she comments on how much better it looks already compared to the previous evening. Moze feels the improvement himself the next day when Feixiao comes to wake him—he's forgotten to turn his alarm back on—and he feels neither as sore nor as tired as he had the previous morning. His shoulder still hurts when he moves his arm, but it's not bad enough that he can be convinced to take another dose of painkillers. Moze thinks Feixiao might threaten to take him to see Jiaoqiu, but she just shrugs and asks if he feels like coming with her to the office or if he wants to stay home another day.

"You're still not allowed to do any work, but I thought you might appreciate a change of scenery."

"I'll come," Moze says. It's less about the scenery and more about the thought of being left alone all day with nothing to do.

Moze spends the next few days lounging around Feixiao's office. He'd quickly run out of things to do for entertainment, and Feixiao had relented on her 'no work' rule and allowed him to read mission reports and sit in on briefings to stay up to date on the latest news. Jiaoqiu comes by Feixiao's office on the second day for lunch, and to examine Moze's shoulder and show him some exercises to perform to ensure it heals without complication. Feixiao doesn't say anything about Moze not taking the painkillers, and Jiaoqiu doesn't ask. 

It doesn't take long for Moze to regain full motion of his shoulder, but Feixiao doesn't assign him to any missions until he's completely recovered. It's a much more elaborate mission than usual, involving Feixiao, multiple Cloud Knight units, and a whole team of healers overseen by Jiaoqiu.

The mission is spread out over several weeks, and for the most part, Moze gets relegated to reconnaissance duties, but Feixiao permits him to participate in the smaller skirmishes to hone his combat skills.

"Good work," she says after one such skirmish. Then, "Come on."

Feixiao takes off with her usual brisk strides and Moze instinctively follows her, still reviewing the battle in his mind, and it's not until the medical tent is right in front of them that Moze realises where Feixiao's going. His heart rate spikes and his feet falter, but Feixiao strolls into the tent without giving him a second glance. Maybe she didn't bring him here to see a healer? Maybe she's here for…something else? Moze can't think of what, but it's odd that Feixiao wouldn't even check to see if Moze was still there after telling him to follow her. He'll sneak into the tent and stay just long enough to see what's going on.

Feixiao hasn't gone far inside. She's waiting next to a cot that currently has someone sitting on it, being attended to by Jiaoqiu. Is Feixiao here to invite him to lunch? But just after a battle is when the medical tent is the busiest, as evidenced by the rows of occupied cots further inside the tent. Jiaoqiu won't leave his post now.

Moze still hasn't been able to come up with a probable reason by the time Feixiao takes the place of Jiaoqiu's patient. Moze hadn't realised that Feixiao needed medical attention. He can't explain it, but it makes him feel…guilty, somehow, even though it's not his job to protect Feixiao.

Jiaoqiu takes Feixiao's vitals and asks her a lot of questions. They're speaking quietly and Moze is keeping his distance so he can't make out everything they're saying, but he hears Jiaoqiu say "your condition" several times. Is Feixiao sick? She certainly doesn't seem like it; Moze's never known a livelier person. Though now that he thinks about it, Jiaoqiu is always asking Feixiao about her health and telling her what she should eat more or less of, and coming around her house or office with new dishes he's concocted as a result of some research he's doing. Maybe not all of it can be attributed to Jiaoqiu simply being 'overbearing' as Feixiao sometimes describes him.

Jiaoqiu's examination of Feixiao ends with him cleaning and dressing her wounds, all of which, as far as Moze can tell, are superficial cuts. Most of them have scabbed over already, and none of them are anything that Moze would even classify as an injury, but maybe Feixiao's definition of the word is different. When Jiaoqiu is done, she thanks him then stands up and looks at Moze.

"Alright, your turn," she says.

His turn? What for? He's not sick, and his shoulder has completely healed; Jiaoqiu had seen so for himself.

Feixiao is still looking at him. Jiaoqiu is waiting. Moze sits down on the cot.

After he sits down, Feixiao continues to look expectantly at him, and Jiaoqiu continues to wait, as if for Moze to make the first move. They both act like Moze should know what they want from him, but he doesn't have—well, he did sustain a cut to his arm during the fighting, but it's nothing that needs to be looked at by a healer. How does Feixiao even know about it? He's not wearing his jacket today, but it's on the underside of his forearm and shouldn't be visible to anyone.

He slowly extends his arm towards Jiaoqiu. Jiaoqiu gives it a cursory inspection, then reaches for a clean cloth that he wets and uses to dab at the cut. Even when he loosens a clot of dried blood and the wound starts bleeding again, albeit lightly, it doesn't hurt at all. Once Jiaoqiu finishes cleaning the cut, he puts a dressing over the top and fixes it in place with a bandage.

"All done," he says. "It's not too tight?"

Moze takes his arm back and tests its range of movement. He shakes his head and stands up. If there's nothing else then they can go, right?

He looks over at Feixiao to confirm and finds her already looking at him, another expectant look on her face. Moze thinks back to what Feixiao had done after her turn.

"Thank you," he says to Jiaoqiu.

"It's what I'm here for," Jiaoqiu replies.

As they leave the tent, Feixiao says to Moze, "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

It…wasn't. It does feel a little strange to be making a fuss about such a minor cut, but he supposes if that's what Feixiao considers an injury worthy of bringing to the attention of a healer, then he'll know better for the next time she asks.

"The next time you get injured or feel unwell, make sure to see the healers, okay?" Feixiao continues. "There's no telling which cut could get infected or which symptom is an indication of something more serious."

Well, seeing just any healer is out of the question—there's no telling what they might do, and Moze doesn't know any of them well enough to be sure he can trust a single thing they say—but if it was Jiaoqiu…maybe that would be alright.

Moze doesn't put up any resistance the next time Feixiao takes him to the infirmary after a mission. They go to Jiaoqiu's office and he gives Feixiao a checkup and treats any injuries she's acquired, then he does the same for Moze. And from there, it just becomes routine.

As Moze gains more independence on his missions, his and Feixiao's schedules begin to diverge and she no longer goes out of her way to accompany him to the infirmary, but it becomes second nature to head there after reporting to Feixiao even when she doesn't remind him to. And even though his aversion to the infirmary itself hasn't waned, it becomes much more tolerable after he finds a way to bypass the main entrance and get into Jiaoqiu's office through the window.

With all the missions he's successfully carried out, Moze has amassed an abundance of strales with which to practice various assassination techniques. He keeps his attempts irregular so as to not make it easy for Feixiao to predict when he'll strike next, but she still manages to foil him every time no matter the means, location, or time of day, and he's no closer to being able to kill her than he'd been on the day they'd met.

Today, he has a new idea. Feixiao has entrusted him with an important delivery to the post office where he is to meet a courier from the Yuque and deliver directly into their hands a parcel for General Yaoguang. Then to join Feixiao and Jiaoqiu for lunch afterwards if time permits.

The restaurant is a favourite of Jiaoqiu's so they've been there several times, and Moze knows exactly what route Feixiao would take from her office to get there. He estimates where along the route she would be by now, and lies in wait on a rooftop a little ahead until he sees her coming down the street. Jiaoqiu is with her, and it makes the two of them even easier to pick out in the crowd.

Now that he has Feixiao in his sights, Moze sends her a text letting her know that he's still at the post office waiting for the courier and won't be making it to lunch—within seconds, Feixiao sends him back a thumbs up—then retreats into the shadows.

He follows Feixiao from a safe distance, just close enough to be able to see where she's going in case she suddenly decides to change routes for whatever reason. She and Jiaoqiu are talking—well, Feixiao is talking and Jiaoqiu is looking around more often than can be said to be usual for someone walking along a familiar route, but whatever has Jiaoqiu so preoccupied, Feixiao doesn't concern herself with it. They arrive at the restaurant soon after, and Moze quickly moves into position.

Feixiao and Jiaoqiu are currently distracted by ordering, but Moze doesn't want to deal with the added complication of the server getting caught in the middle. He waits until they leave, and in the wake of their departure, launches himself off the roof.

It's over in the blink of an eye. In one moment, he's hurtling towards a target he can barely see for how fast he's moving, and in the next, his dagger meets unyielding resistance and he has to let it go and right himself or make a very painful crash landing into the ground.

His feet find purchase on the edge of a planter, and he throws out a hand to catch himself. Feixiao watches him with a smirk, his dagger in her hand.

If Feixiao is faster than even the pull of the Yaoqing's gravity, then there's no way Moze can ever best her using speed alone. He'll need to abandon that strategy and devise a new one.

"Your form and speed were good, but I knew you were following me," Feixiao says. "Assassinations are much harder when your target is expecting you. We'll work more on your stealth training next week."

Moze nods and gives her a strale. Stealth is looking like the best way to approach this; Feixiao won't be able to counter what she can't see coming, no matter how fast she is. He'd underestimated her perceptiveness, and his familiarity with the route had led to him taking less care than usual when following her, but he won't make the same mistake again.

Jiaoqiu sighs loudly. "I thought I told you not to encourage him," he says to Feixiao.

"Jiaoqiu," Feixiao chides him, "how is he supposed to improve if I don't point out his weaknesses?"

Feixiao reaches for Moze, and before he can duck out of her reach, she has her hand in his hair and is messing it up. Moze scowls and pulls his hood back up to protect his hair from roving hands.

"Get down from there," Jiaoqiu says to Moze, "people are staring. You might as well join us for lunch now that you're here."

Moze jumps down from the planter and seats himself in the chair that Feixiao drags over for him. Maybe he should have waited until they'd begun eating. Then again, maybe it's for the best that he hadn't, or there might be food everywhere. He'll get her next time. At least today he can still get lunch out of it. He just hopes Jiaoqiu hasn't ordered anything too spicy.

-

The missions Feixiao gives Moze largely relate to the defence of the Yaoqing in some way, and while he's aware that the Alliance's war on the Abundance has never ceased, Feixiao has never asked him to get involved. To him, the constant hostilities the Yaoqing is embroiled in are all distant events to be heard over the radio or read about in reports, and never to be examined too closely lest it remind him of the people he'd once called family.

The first time Moze engages in a direct offensive against the Abundance comes in the form of a campaign that Feixiao invites him to join. The campaign will be taking place on a planet threatened by the borisin, whom Moze has only encountered in history books and training simulations thus far. Before that, all he had known of the borisin was that they too had received the blessings of Sanctus Medicus, and that was why the Alliance hunted them. The Alliance, of course, tells a different story, and Feixiao also has a story of her own, one that begins unhappily and ends with a bittersweet victory. Moze is curious to see these borisin for himself, and to test his skills in a different type of combat.

Only, when they land at the site that has been designated as the battlefield, Feixiao takes one look across the plains, takes off her jacket and hands it to Moze, then tells him, "Stay in the camp with Jiaoqiu. The battlefield is no place for you."

"But—" Moze begins.

Feixiao is already turning away. "Knights, on me!"

She's…leaving him behind? Why? What is he lacking that these Cloud Knights have? Why had she waited until now to turn him away from her side? Why bother to bring him here in the first place?

Moze stares numbly after her until Jiaoqiu taps his arm.

"You gonna stand there all day? Come on."

Moze leaves Feixiao's jacket on her chair in the command tent, then for lack of anything better to do, follows Jiaoqiu to the medical tent where the healers are already at work; the advance guard that had been sent ahead to clear this site and set up camp already have a few injuries between them, and it looks like there's still more preparations to be made in anticipation of casualties from the upcoming battle.

Moze lingers at the threshold of the tent, uncertain what is expected of him now that he's been turned away from what he'd come here to do, when it occurs to him that with everyone else so preoccupied with their duties, it would be a simple matter to slip into the rear guard and join the fight without Feixiao knowing until after the fact. He turns back way he'd come.

"Moze. Stay here," Jiaoqiu says sharply.

Moze nearly jumps at unexpectedly hearing Jiaoqiu's voice, then again when he glances over his shoulder and sees the hard expression on Jiaoqiu's face. He's never seen Jiaoqiu look so severe before, not even after Jiaoqiu's witnessed yet another failed assassination attempt, and for a moment, Moze feels as if he's been rooted to the spot, a glaring spotlight shining down on him.

Jiaoqiu's face softens minutely, and he sighs. "I suppose she did bring you here to learn. If you must, you can get a good view of the battlefield from the watchtower the scouts have put up. You can't miss it, it's the tallest structure in the camp. Just tell the scouts Feixiao sent you and they'll let you up."

Feixiao had said no such thing, but Jiaoqiu is clearly not in the mood to be argued with even if Moze wanted to. He changes direction and heads for the tower at the side of the camp.

He doesn't even have to lie to the scouts at the base of the tower. The one closest to him just asks if he's here to go up the tower to watch the battle, and when he nods, the scout jerks their head towards the ladder.

When Moze gets to the top of the tower, the fighting has only just begun in earnest as the aerial bombardment tapers off and the pilots leave the rest of the battle to the ground troops. Moze doesn't have to search for long before he finds Feixiao with his borrowed binoculars: she's leading the charge—of course she is—and as Moze watches, she breaks ahead of the soldiers in a burst of wind that she gathers around her in a swirling vortex as she meets the borisin forces approaching from the other side.

They converge in a violent tempest, the vortex pulling in all borisin within its range before ejecting them into the air at lightning speed. Feixiao, at the centre of it all, seems untouchable, a raging storm cutting a wide swathe through the borisin's ranks while the Cloud Knights sweep in after her like the tide upon the shore.

"First time seeing the general in action?" the scout next to Moze asks, a wide grin on their face. "She's really something else, isn't she?"

Moze nods distractedly, realising now just how much Feixiao has been holding back each time they've clashed. If she wished him dead, she could tear him to a hundred pieces before he even blinked, and not all the training he's done could change that. No wonder her very name is enough to strike fear into the hearts of the Yaoqing's enemies. No wonder when his family had heard that the general was personally overseeing the raid, the strongest had fled and left the rest of them for the slaughter.

He'll never be able to best her in direct combat. He's long suspected this even though Feixiao says there's still much left for him to learn. He could study the forms of a dozen masters for a hundred years and Feixiao would still be able to stop him with a single finger. But it doesn't mean she's undefeatable. Even an Aeon can be killed; one just has to find the right method.

Moze keeps watching Feixiao—it's easy even without binoculars; he just has to follow the trail of destruction—until the scouts receive word over the radio that the borisin have been routed and the general is returning to camp. Moze descends from the watchtower and goes to the entrance of the camp to await Feixiao's arrival.

The Feixiao that the guards let through the gate is exhausted and covered in dirt and blood, with no trace of the bloodthirsty fury he'd seen earlier. It's almost as if the person he'd been watching on the battlefield had been someone else entirely.

Moze keeps his distance rather than falling into step with Feixiao, and maintains his unwavering scrutiny of her. A glance from Feixiao tells him that she's seen him, but she doesn't call out to him or wave him off. He follows her into the command tent where they're joined by Cloud Knight officers also fresh from the battle.

Moze traces a finger over the hilt of one of his daggers as he half listens to the reports made by the officers and half considers how far he'd get if he tries assassinating Feixiao now. Probably not very far since there's four people and a large table between them, and Moze knows from previous attempts that even when tired out by a long sparring session or interrupted from sleep, his reflexes are no match for Feixiao's, but he still considers it; he needs the practice thinking of even more ways to kill Feixiao after what he'd seen.

He's still thinking when the party moves out of the command tent onto the ridge that overlooks the camp. Maybe an incident of too large a scale for even Feixiao to avoid? A rockslide, an explosion? Something similar to that mission that had led them down the tunnels under the Moon Delve? A starskiff accident? Poison, perhaps? Moze remembers Jiaoqiu telling him once about how some medicines can be used to harm as well as heal; Moze knows a little about that. Maybe it's time to find out more.

He hasn't taken his eyes off Feixiao in all this time. It's the only reason he notices the change in the air behind her, the slight distortion that with some imagination could form the outline of a person. No one else looking that way, too confident in their recent victory and too weary from the fight to keep up the necessary vigilance.

It could be an illusion, Moze reasons with himself. The sun, the wind, the foreign landscape; all that could account for him seeing things where there shouldn't be. And if it is an assassin, he could just wait and see. If they manage to kill Feixiao, then he will have attained his vengeance without needing to lift a finger. All he has to do is nothing.

But…it's supposed to be him. It's supposed to be him who fells the Vanquishing General, who topples this giant of the Xianzhou Alliance and takes from them as they'd taken from him. Feixiao had promised; she'd said he could challenge her until the day his vengeance is successful. But what meaning will his vengeance have if taken for him by another? Does he stand by once more and let others act in his stead?

Feixiao had once said to him, "Perhaps the most important thing you can learn is when to act and when to stay your hand." Then she'd rubbed the back of her neck and added, "That being said, it's not exactly something that can be taught. You'll need to use your own experience and judgement to make the right decision."

He hadn't understood then; how is he supposed to make a decision if he doesn't know how?

But then the distortion moves. And so does he.

His dagger finds its mark with textbook precision: the carotid artery, a common point of weakness across nearly all humanoid species, even the long-life ones, and frequently left unprotected, especially when mobility and stealth are paramount.

Moze keeps a firm grip on his dagger so that even with accelerated healing the wound won't be able to close. Within seconds, he feels the assassin go limp, sees them begin to fall backwards. At the same time, he feels a tug within his chest, followed by an awful scraping sensation like a knife is being drawn across his sternum. When he looks down, he discovers just how accurate a description this is.

The tip of the assassin's sword is pulled from Moze's chest, and with it what seems like all the blood contained in his upper body. He feels lightheaded, and cold, even though he can feel the warmth from the blood spreading across his torso. He thinks he hears someone call his name. His surroundings tilt and blur.

His chest hurts and there's blood everywhere. He's going to have to throw out this shirt; there's no way he'll be able to wash out all the blood.

He hears his name again, much closer this time. He feels a little warmer too. He blinks and sees Feixiao looking down at him. The sight of her fills him with profound relief, though he can't explain why. She doesn't look like she feels the same. Has he done something wrong?

There's someone else on his other side. An unfamiliar face. A familiar white coat. A hand reaching for him. He pushes it away. He feels so weak.

"—Moze—hold my hand," Feixiao says.

He feels her arm moving, feels the warmth emanating from where he's pressed against her, feels her hand close around his. He closes his hand too, but he can't hold on to her as tightly as she's holding on to him. He hopes she doesn't mind.

"What were you thinking?" she murmurs, fingers brushing over his forehead.

What had he been thinking? He'd been thinking…that they'd made each other a promise. That it would forever haunt him if he'd let someone else take her from him.

"It should…be me," he says, forcing the words out in between laboured breaths. He needs her to know.

"What?"

"It should be me who kills you, not anyone else." He forces his eyes to focus on hers. The day the light goes out of those eyes, it will be because of him, and no other.

The corners of Feixiao's eyes crease as she smiles at him. "Of course," she says. "But you need to remember to look after yourself, too. How are you going to kill me if you get yourself killed first?"

She presses her lips to the top of his head, murmurs something about Jiaoqiu that Moze doesn't catch. Everything is getting blurry again.

The other person Feixiao has successfully distracted him from thinking about begins to speak. Their words are mostly garbled save for one that stands out from the rest for the sudden dread it fills him with.

"—surgery—"

"I'll take him." Feixiao's arms tighten around Moze, and he feels his body being lifted up.

"Don't…" It's much harder to speak now even though his chest doesn't hurt as much. He tries to push himself out of Feixiao's arms but he's never won a fight against her and he's not going to now. "Don't…" He can't get the rest of the words out.

He doesn't need to.

"I won't let anything happen to you, I promise," Feixiao says. "I'm going to stay with you the whole time, and when we get to the infirmary, I'll make sure Jiaoqiu looks after you. You're going to be okay. I've got you."

Jiaoqiu…Jiaoqiu with his careful hands and soothing voice, the sincerity in the gaze that he lets so few see, the faint scent of spice that follows him and that Moze imagines he can smell now as the dread subsides. Jiaoqiu had made him a promise too. Maybe it would be okay if it was Jiaoqiu. And if Feixiao thinks so too, then it must be true.

He's…so…tired…

He wakes up in a room. No, not a room, his room. He's lying in his bed with his blankets pulled up to his waist and his pillows propping him up in an inclined position. It's not how he normally sleeps, and he doesn't remember going to bed last night either. It takes the dull pain that stirs in his chest when he tries to sit up to remind him of where he'd last been.

"Ah, finally awake, are you?" says a quiet voice at the foot of his bed. A rustle, then Jiaoqiu appears. "Here, let me help you."

Jiaoqiu slides his hand under Moze's back—above where Moze can feel bandages wrapping around his chest under the loose shirt he's wearing—and carefully lifts his upper body, rearranging the pillows before settling Moze against them once more. Now that Moze's sitting up, he can see that it's not just the two of them in the room: Feixiao is in Moze's desk chair, sprawled out across his desk and sound asleep.

"She's been there ever since you were discharged from the infirmary even though I told her it would likely be a few days before you woke up," Jiaoqiu says as he goes through the motion of recording Moze's vitals. "The surgery was a success, but you'd lost a lot of blood and even with the transfusions, your body needed some time to repair itself. Now that you're awake, I think you should find your condition improving rapidly over the next few days. You know what to do: get plenty of rest and make sure to eat well. Speaking of which, I did make some soup in anticipation of your waking up today. Feel up to having any?"

The mention of food has Moze's stomach growling; he's ravenous after being out cold for several days.

Jiaoqiu chuckles. "I'll take that as a yes. Feixiao, keep Moze company while I'm gone!"

He raises his voice as he leaves Moze's room, and Feixiao jerks awake.

"Huh—wha—Moze!" Feixiao leaps to her feet and hurries to Moze's bedside. "Hey," she says with a soft smile. Her hair is dishevelled and there are dark circles under her eyes.

She gingerly places a hand on his shoulder as if not sure if it would be welcome. When Moze leans towards her, she wraps her arms around him.

"Feeling better?" she asks.

Moze nods against her shoulder.

Feixiao hugs him for a little longer then pulls back, keeping her hands on his shoulders. "Given our line of work, I don't think I can tell you not to do it again—I mean, Lan knows I would've done the same for you—but maybe we can keep it as a last resort. You'll have to think of other—I know; ranged weapons training, that's what we'll do next."

Feixiao drags Moze's desk chair over to the bed and starts listing different weapons and who she thinks would be a suitable trainer for each one. Moze lets her ramble while he turns over the words she'd so nonchalantly let slip—she'd have done the same for him? She would have put herself in the path of an enemy set on killing him, heedless of what might happen to her in the process? She would do that? For him?

Moze still hasn't figured out what it means by the time Jiaoqiu returns with a bed tray that he places over Moze's lap. On the tray is three bowls of soup, each a varying shade of orange-red. Jiaoqiu takes the darkest and Feixiao the next, leaving Moze with the lightest. Jiaoqiu pulls up the chair at the foot of Moze's bed—how long has that been there?—and they each dig in to their own bowl of soup.

It's warm and savoury and hearty enough, as good as any other meal that Jiaoqiu has made, but Moze finds himself wishing it was the congee that Feixiao makes for him whenever he gets taken off duty to heal from his injuries. It might not be as flavourful or as nutritionally complete as Jiaoqiu has no doubt ensured this soup is, but it's what Moze wants. Maybe he'll ask Feixiao later when Jiaoqiu leaves.

"Any more news from the front?" Jiaoqiu asks Feixiao as they eat.

"No," Feixiao says, "which is good. Means we haven't missed any borisin. The scouts will keep watch on the region for a little longer still, but since the Divination Commission hasn't seen anything either, we're continuing our withdrawal."

"That's good. Maybe the Alchemy Commission will finally stop asking me to put in overtime at the infirmary. How many times do I have to tell them that I haven't come back?"

"Haven't you?" Feixiao raises an eyebrow.

"I haven't," Jiaoqiu insists. "I've got my hands full with the two of you, don't I? I mean, for a moment there, Moze, you had me thinking I might finally have a patient who listens when I tell them to look after themselves and not take unnecessary risks in battle, but it turns out you're each as reckless as the other!"

"Bold words from someone who's thrown themselves into the path of a Lux Arrow before," Feixiao says with the air of someone who's confident they've won an argument.

"I wouldn't have had to do it if you hadn't done it first," Jiaoqiu says with a scowl. He turns on Moze instead. "Moze, drink your soup. It's going to get cold."

"It's too spicy," Moze lies, using Feixiao's stock complaint when she doesn't want to finish some new medicinal dish Jiaoqiu has made for her.

"How can that be?" Jiaoqiu exclaims as he leans in to examine Moze's bowl. "I barely—"

Feixiao catches on first, and her laugh gives it away to Jiaoqiu who straightens up with a look of exasperation.

"The two of you. Honestly."

Feixiao laughs even harder and Jiaoqiu shakes his head as he tries to hold back a smile. Moze's chest feels warm, and it's not just because of the spoonful of soup he drinks.

It feels like home.

It feels like…family.