Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

February 18, 2009

“Suguru?” 

“What, Satoru?” 

“Can I talk to you about something?”

The white-haired teenager walks into the dorm, unannounced. He sits on Suguru’s bed, patting beside him on the bed. They both sit down, a comfortable yet tense distance away from each other.

“What did you want to talk to me about?” Suguru asks. His voice is low and tiresome. He looks like he hasn’t eaten or slept in forever.

“What's up? We haven’t been able to talk in a while.” Satoru asks, his voice a pinch louder than Suguru’s. He leans forward, meeting eyes with his best friend who was once neat and mindful. Suguru’s dull eyes, greasy hair, unwashed face, and messy room proves his previous view wrong. 

“If you came here for small talk, then just go home and text me. I have stuff I need to do.” Suguru says, breaking eye contact. “I’m not in the mood to listen to you run your mouth for an hour.”

Satoru frowns. “Owch.” He sits up again and rubs his hands together nervously. “There is something I want to talk to you about though.”

The humid, intoxicating atmosphere leaves a long silence between the two of them. 

“Spit it out already, Satoru.” Suguru says impatiently. 

“Are you okay?” Satoru says.

“I told you I don’t want small talk.” Suguru says.

“No, like… Actually. Are you okay?” Satoru asks, his voice in a rare, sincere tone.

“...”

Silence fills the room once more. Satoru places his hand on his shoulder. 

“Listen, I’m not trying to press you or anything. It's just… You haven’t been the same since Amanai. I’m worried, y’know? You haven’t insulted me (at least as a joke) in a while, you’ve barely taken care of yourself in a while, you haven’t even hung out with me or Shoko since then. You just haven’t been yourself.”

“...”

“So-are you doing okay?” 

“...”

“No. No I’m not, okay? Is that what you want?” Suguru faces away from Satoru. He can feel his face heat up and his eyes swell. This is the first time in forever since he finally felt something. When he could finally feel someone .

“Hey… I didn’t mean-” Satoru turns his body toward Suguru and rubs his back soothingly. He could feel his sudden, sharp breaths mixed with the desperate, deep breaths.

“I’m sorry…” Suguru mumbles, his voice quivering. 

Satoru wraps his arms around Suguru and pulls him toward himself, continuing to rub his back. Suguru leans against him limply. 

“Don’t be sorry. Whatever it is, it's not your fault.” Satoru whispers. “Here, how about we go out to eat and we can talk about it, okay? I think you would like a nice warm meal, huh?”

“Yeah… That would be nice.”

Chapter Text

February 19, 2018

Gojo POV:

“Sensei! Sensei!” Yuji, along with Nobara yell while running over to me, leaving Megumi walking behind. 

“What’s up guys?” I say, My conversation being cut short.

“Can you pleeeease take us to Narisawa?” Yuji begs.

“Yeah, I’ve been craving it for soooo loooong !” Nobara also begs.

“Hmmm, maybe. It's in Chuo, right?” I ask.

“Uhh… I don't know.” Yuji says.

“It's in Minato.” Megumi says, finally caught up. 

“That's a little ways away and a bit expensive.” I ask curiously.

“ Pleeeeeeeeease?” Yuji and Nobara whine in sync, their big, round, shiny eyes pleading at me.

“Megumi! You decide!” I point toward him. His eyes look up from his phone.

“I don’t care where we go. I’m just hungry.” Megumi says blankly.

Yuji leaps at him sideways and wraps his arms around his neck. “Fushiguro! Come on! Say yes!”

“Okay fine. Let's go.” He says while putting his phone in his back pocket.

“Okay then let's go! Just let me get Suguru.” I say. ”Go ahead and meet me at the parking lot.”

“Okay.” The kids walk off while I go to my dorm.

I open the door and walk in. I can hear the shower running, water splashing in sudden bursts at the floor of my shower. I walk over to the bathroom door and open it. ‘Yo, Suguru. The kids want to go out to eat at Narisawa. Are you coming?” I can see his faint silhouette from the shower curtain.

“Yeah, sure. Just let me finish my shower and get changed.” He says while opening a bottle of conditioner for his long, black hair. “Could you do me a favor, Satoru?” He asks.

“Sure, what is it?” I ask, leaning my arm on the door frame.

“Could you pick out clothes for me? It saves me time.” Suguru says.

“Yeah. I can. Try to be out in 5 minutes.” I say, turning around to walk out.

“Thanks. I love you.” 

“Love you too” I walk out. I picked out some heavy jeans, a black turtleneck, and a brown coat. I placed them on the sink counter and sat down on the couch. I open my phone and see that I got a text message from “Gumi!💖”  

“Hey, why are you taking so long?” Megumi texts.

“Sorry, I’m waiting for Suguru to get out of the shower.” I replied.

“They are getting impatient.” Megumi texts almost instantly. 

“It will be about 10 minutes. You guys can survive lol.” I reply

Suguru walks out and I put my phone down. “Jeez, took you long enough.” 

“Well maybe stop making plans 5 minutes before it happens. You're always late.” Suguru says. “Alright, let's go to the car. I’m driving.” 

“You always do.” I say as we both walk out the door. 

We walk through the chilled air and eventually get to the parking lot and meet the kids once again.

“Geto-sensei! Why do you take so long! I’m freezing out here!” Yuji complains loudly. 

“Sorry, just get in the car. I’ll turn the heat on.” Geto says playfully. 

After we all get in the car, I ask, “Can I play some music?” I move my body to

face the backseat and ask the same question. Ignoring every ones opinions, I play it anyway. I started playing “Hey Daddy” by Usher.  

Suguru giggles to himself. “You play this every time.”

I look over at him, cherishing his scrunched face when he laughs. “I mean, it is my favorite song.” I say as I giggle with him. 

“How long is the drive going to be?” Nobara asks impatiently. 

“About 20 minutes.” Suguru replies. 

“That's so long! Why didn’t anyone tell me?” Yuji says with dread leaking from his face. 

“20 minutes isn’t that long. That's like an episode of Digimon Adventure .” I say reassuringly.

“You're such a nerd. Nobody watches that anymore.” Megumi says

“I’m a nerd? When you were younger you were the #1 Hello Kitty fan. You wouldn’t talk to me for a whole day because I accidentally made you miss one episode!” I laugh. 

Megumi’s face flushes with embarrassment. “Yeah, when I was younger. I don’t watch it anymore. How long have you been watching your dumb Pokemon copy? 40 years?” Megumi asks confidently.

“40 years?! How old do you think I am? I will let you know that I'm 28! I’m only borderline 30!” I say, feeling like I just got shot with 7 arrows. 

“Yeah, “borderline” 30.” Megumi replies slyly.

We continue to argue like kids for a while, Yuji and Nobara barely able to add on anything into the bickering. 

“Guys we’re here!” Suguru tries to yell over our verbal war.

“About time.” Megumi says.

“This isn’t over!” I say playfully as we all get out of the car. 

Chapter Text

“Here are your entrees. Let me know if you need anything.” The waiter says as they place down our food.

“I wish you guys would have chosen somewhere where I could get something sweet. I have a hell-of-a sweet tooth right now.” I pout. I start eating the dish in front of me, unamused by its flavor.

“You know, you don't have to be such a sour-pus, Satoru.” Suguru says as he starts rubbing my back in a circle pattern. “If you want, we can try to stop somewhere and get you something if you’d like.” He says reassuringly, almost like he’s baby-ing me.

I give him a pouty side eye. “Thank you.” I say quietly, shoving a forkful in my mouth.

Suguru chuckles and goes back to eating his own food. It's nice and cozy in the booth we were sitting in. A comfortable, warm contrast to the cold, crisp outside. As we eat, we cherish the relaxed, friendly atmosphere. Small conversations popping up here and there. Yuji and I finished first with our food. I lean against Suguru’s shoulder, scrolling on my phone as I wait for him, Megumi, and Nobara to finish as well.

Suguru exhales softly, feeling me on his shoulder and upper arm. “Feeling tired? Or sentimental?” He asks, not expecting an answer. He doubted that I would remember what happened today all those years ago. I’ve never been big on remembering days and stuff like that.

“Hmmm… Maybe a bit of both. I’ve done a lot of work today.” I say, putting my phone down on the table and snuggling into my jacket.

“Why are you feeling sentimental? I didn’t know you had that emotion.” Megumi asks half-seriously. He pushes his empty plate away and pulls out his phone.

“You're being so mean to me today! I do in fact have the capability to feel more than 2 emotions.” I say, playfully hurt.

“Settle down,” Suguru chuckles. “Satoru, do you know what today is?” He asks hopefully.

“The 17th? No, 18th. It's the 18th of February.” I say confidently. I get off of Suguru and sit up.”

Yuji, Nobara, Megumi, and even Suguru start laughing at how confident my wrong answer was.

“It's the 19th, Satoru.” Suguru says in between giggles.

“Oh, yeah. Right. It is the 19th.” I say, turning my head and looking smugly in front of me. As if I was looking at a Invisible camera.

“So I'm guessing you don’t remember?” Suguru asks, wiping the water from his eyes.

“...” I look at Suguru for a minute, thinking. “Did I miss your birthday or something?” I ask, looking somewhat ashamed.

“Satoru, Today was the day we got together. 9 years ago today.” Suguru says reassuringly. He puts a hand on his shoulder before getting up, out of the booth.

“Oh! Yeah I totally remember now!” I say hesitantly. I follow Suguru out of the booth. “I guess it's time to go then.” I announce, inviting the kids to get up as well.

“Oh, it's fine. I didn’t expect you to remember anyway. Especially with what happened prior to that.” Suguru says, pulling my head down to press a kiss on my forehead.

I pay and we leave. We get in the car, turn on the heat, and start driving.

“So today was when you guys got together, right?” Yuji asks, leaning up from the middle seat, leaning his elbows on the center console.

“Yes, it was.” Suguru says calmly. “Back when me and Satoru were students like you guys. Although I believe we were second years.”

“How did that happen? Who confessed?” Yuji says, extremely interested in their relationship.

“Well, back then I wasn’t in a good place. I was depressed, confused, and a little scared.” Suguru says, almost ashamed to admit. “Typically Satoru was able to protect me from myself in a way. He was my sunshine in a room of darkness. This was after he learned the Reversed Cursed Technique, deeming him the title of The Strongest. This meant that he was sent on more missions. Typically we would go on missions together, but now he was able to go on missions alone. This left me alone in an infinite cycle of exorcising and absorbing. It took a toll on my mental health”

“I eventually noticed how he was struggling.” I add in. I turn to look at Suguru. “I asked you several times if you were okay. You gave me an excuse every time.” I say, almost scolding him. I turn my head back in front of me. “Eventually I had enough of it. I knew something was wrong with him. I went to his dorm and asked him once more. I was scared that something was going to happen to him. Whether it was going to be him or someone else.” I take a pause. “He eventually cracked and started sobbing. I comforted him for a bit then proposed that we go out to eat something.”

Suguru starts laughing. “It was really late at night so the only place that was open that we could afford was a shitty ramen place. You were so sad that there was no place better.” He says, still chuckling.

“There were flies all over the place! The ramen wasn’t even edible!” I say playfully. “We got the hell out of there fast!”

“After that we just went to a park nearby and sat on a bench by the lake. I started telling him about everything and how I felt. When I was done venting, we just started to talk about random stuff. At that point, it was already the next day; which would be today.” Suguru says, lovingly recalling the memory.

“So who confessed?” Megumi asks.

“Yeah, we already get the story.” Nobara adds.

“Well, we didn’t really say anything. We didn’t need to say anything.” Suguru says longingly.

“In reality, our relationship has always had some type of romantic tension.” I turn to look at Suguru once more. “Y’know, Shoko would tease me about it. Anytime it was just me and her, she would refer to you as my husband. At that time I never realized I had feelings for you. I would be so annoyed every time.” I laugh.

“Yeah. When we were talking… I think you were talking about something you liked. like a tv show, or movie or something. When you were talking, I just turned toward you and kissed you.” Suguru says lovingly. “After that, I started taking care of myself again. Satoru helped me clean my dorm, started to get me on a normal eating and sleeping schedule, and we started going on missions together again.”

“It was a big transition, but you did really well. It hurt me seeing you like that.” I say, giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“Awww that's cute!” Both Nobara and Yuji whimper.

“You said that something happened which made you depressed and stuff. What was that about?” Megumi asks.

“Uhmm…” I turn away. “I'll tell you when you're older…”

“C’mon. I'm not 6.” Megumi pouts before opening his phone again.

“Oh, we are already back home?” Yuji says shockingly.

“Finally. I want to lay down. My stomach hurts.” Nobara complains.

Everyone gets out of the car and starts walking to their dorms. It's about 8PM and it's very dark outside.

“Goodnight guys! See you tomorrow!” I wave to Yuji, Megumi. Nobara. Suguru follows suit. We can hear them talking about us faintly.

“They have been together for about 9 years. When are they going to make it official?” We hear Megumi say in the distance.

“Yeah, I could never be in a still relationship like that.” Nobara adds.

“Well, I’m just happy that they are happy.” Yuji says, ending the gossip.

We begin to walk to our shared dorm room together, our fingers interlocked tight.

Chapter Text

“I think today was pretty successful, don't-cha think?” I say as I slip my shoes off at the door. I walk over to the counter and lay my wallet and phone down.

“You sound pretty content.” Suguru chuckles before taking off his shoes as well. He leans over on the counter next to me, crossing his arms on the clean countertop
and laying his head. I can’t help but admire his loving purple eyes looking up at me. “I’m glad you had fun. It's better than hearing you walk in the door cursing about HR.” He hums delightfully. He gets up from the counter and cracks his back.

“You can say that again. I swear one day I’m going to kill all of them!” I joke while playing with the button on my wallet. “I could use something sweet right now…” I whine, cupping my cheeks with my palms.

“That reminds me, weren’t we going to stop by some place to get you something?” Suguru says reassuringly, patting me on the shoulder. “Do you still want to do that? Or would you rather just have something here?”

“Oh yeah! I remember now. I’ve really been wanting to go to this little shop on the corner. They have killer macarons!” I say enthusiastically despite the quiet atmosphere.

“Sooo… Where you always want to go?” He teases, wrapping his arms around my neck.

“Shut up.” I pout. I poke his cheek as a silent revenge as he lays his head on my shoulder.

Suguru kisses me on the cheek before letting go, walking back to the door to put his shoes on. My body yearns for the warmth his body gave me. I walk toward him.

“Well, let's go! You should probably put a scarf on since it’s within walking distance. I don’t want you to catch a cold.” He says as he pokes my shoulder.

I groan dramatically before protesting. “Suguru I-”

He puts his hand over my mouth. “You know RCT can’t cure everything. It’s cold outside. Stop being a baby.” He says playfully yet seriously. He removes his hand from my mouth. “I'll wait outside. It shouldn’t take you too long.” He opens the door and walks out.

I walk to our room and to our closet. I grab a white scarf to combat my all black uniform. I let it hang off my neck and walk back to the door to put my shoes on. I open the door and walk through the hallway. I get outside and find Suguru leaning against the wall.

He turns to look at me and sighs. He faces toward me and wraps my scarf around me correctly. I can’t help but blush. He's so gentle yet coordinated, his hands brushing on my neck as he twists the scarf around my neck. “You're so sensitive…” He coos. The condensation from our warm breaths are mixing with each other as we inch closer.

“Alright, done. Let's go now, shall we?” He says as he takes a step back, holding a hand out to interlace mine.

“Yup” I grab his hand and we walk side by side. I can feel myself getting small shivers from the weather.

“What? Are you cold?” He teases once more.

I grumble. “A little. But the scarf isn’t helping.”

“Stop being so pouty. If you really do hate it then take it off.” He says, playfully sad.

“Nah, I guess it's fine. Don't feel so high and mighty though!” I poke his chest defiantly as we walk through the doors.

“Hello! Welcome to MoiMoi!” The cashier says while sweeping. The small building is mostly vacant. “We are closing in a little bit, so please be wise with your time.” She appoints as she puts her broom down and walks behind the small glass fridges holding the various macrons. Most of the options are empty from a semi-successful business day.

“Awh… They are out of the butterscotch ones.” I say disappointedly, crossing my arms and looking at the other options.

“I didn’t know you liked butterscotch.” Suguru says surprisingly.

“It’s okay, but the flavor here is so good! Too bad I’ll have to choose another.” I say while examining the other options. “Hm… I’ll have the Strawberry, Mango, Mocha, Green Tea… Suguru, do you want any?” I ask, turning to him as the cashier begins to box the expensive cookies.

“No, I’m fine. I would like a coffee though.” Suguru says. He lets go of my hand to grab the boxes as he explains the details of his drink.

My mind begins to wander. Has it really been 9 years since that day? We haven’t talked much about marriage, Only the downsides. Am I the only one that hasn’t thought of it? What if he is just content with an unofficial relationship? Ugh, this stuff is stupid. Feelings are stupid.

“Satoru? ‘Toru baby came back.” Suguru says playfully yet cautiously. He lifts up my blindfold.

“Sorry, I was daydreaming.” I laugh.

Maybe I’m just tired. Today has been a long day with only having 4 hours of sleep 26 hours ago. RCT can keep me awake, but can’t stop my thoughts I guess.

“I thought you fell asleep.” He laughs too as we thank the cashier and leave. “The sky is pretty tonight” He says adoringly while looking up. “How about when we get back, let's eat on the school’s front stairs?” He asks.

“Sure. That would be nice.” I grab his hand as we walk, easing my running mind. “I love you, Suguboo.” I purr.

“I love you too, Sator-boo.” He copies playfully.

Chapter Text

Suguru POV:

We walk back to campus and sit on the main building's stairs. I put the bag down between us and took out the box of cookies. “For you, Yes?” I ask gently, handing them to him. I watch his face light up excitedly as he eagerly grabs the box. 

“Thank you!” Satoru says as he opens the box and immediately stuffs it into his mouth. 

“Gosh, you're so impatient.” I say as I take a sip of my coffee. I sit it on the step beside me and reach into my pocket.

“Stop acting like you don’t do the same thing the second I get home from a business trip… or on Valentines day.” He says condescendingly, shoving another cookie in his mouth. 

“Shut up…” I bicker with an embarrassing smile. I slowly pull out a box of cigarettes and a lighter out of my back pocket. I grab one out of the box and put it in my mouth to light it. I take a slow drag, the warm smoke satisfyingly filling my lungs. 

“When are you and Shoko going to stop that gross habit?” Satoru says disappointedly as he watches the gray smoke wisp around me. 

“When the sun turns black, I guess.” I say jokingly. He turns forward and rests his head on his hands. There's a moment of silence, only broken by the wind and the flick of a cigarette.  “Are you actually that tired? I know you’re nearing the end of the school year already so you’ve been busy.”

“Hm? Oh, yeah. I guess so. I’m used to it though, don’t worry.” He says casually. He then rubs his face feverishly with his palms before sitting back onto the stairs.

There's another moment of silence. There's an unspoken tension in the air. Who's going to say it first?

“...”

“...”

“So… It's really been 9 years, huh?” I quietly muster out. 

“I guess it has. It also been 9 years since-”

“Don’t say it.” I interrupt. Seems like our chill outing became more serious than it should be on our anniversary.

“Sorry.” He mumbles, another cookie currently in his mouth.

“Chew with your mouth closed.” I rub out my cigarette on the stairs and flick it out in the distance. “You're fine.”

Maybe my plan won't work out the way I wanted it to… Just like every other year since 5 years ago…

“You know, that girl at the shop was kinda cute,” Satoru says casually. I can tell he can’t take the atmosphere and wants to lighten the mood. 

“I don’t think that's something you should say to your boyfriend .” I say exhaustedly. Boyfriend . Always boyfriend . 

“I was just saying! You know I wouldn’t leave you for a mediocre chick I have never met before.” He defends loudly, waving his hand in the air. 

I knew that if I wasn't with him, he would do that exact thing. 

“It's getting cold out there.” He says, pressing his hands to his cheeks. It's hard to see in the dark, but when Satoru gets cold, he gets as red as a strawberry and as dry as wood. 

“How about let's get up for a little bit? I don’t want to leave just yet.” I say as I get up and stretch. 

“What’re we gonna do? Run laps?” He says defiantly.

“Just hold your pretty horses…” I coo, taking out my phone and searching on it.

I might actually be able to do it… I might have the chance if I don't fuck this up.

I place my phone down and a song starts playing. Satoru and I have a shared playlist together. I played a random song from it, which surprisingly was not Maroon 5; speaking that it’s half, if not all of the songs Satoru adds. Disco, by Surf Curse. I place my phone on the stairs and take his cold hand, bringing him a few feet away from it. 

“Are we gonna dance?” He asks excitedly

“No, we are going to fight to the death.” I say seriously before chuckling.

I place a hand on his shoulder and one on his hip. He does the same on the opposite side and we begin to rock side to side. 

“Can I take your blindfold off?” I ask softly. “I want to see your beautiful eyes.”

“Yeah… Sure.” He says, returning my tone. 

I slowly take it off his face and put it in my pocket. I place my hands back to their original spot. I look carefully at his face, drinking in every detail; The way his fluffy hair drapes down almost immediately, the slight glow of his beautiful celeste colored eyes, the noticeable wrinkle under his eyes from little sleep, his pink nose and cheeks from the cold, and his adoring, genuine smile. 

“You need to get more sleep.” I sigh with a slight smile on my face. I cup my hand from his shoulder to his cheek, caressing his face with my thumb. 

“Believe me when I tell you, I’ve tried.” He says defeatedly. Satoru has always had trouble falling asleep ever since we graduated highschool. No matter what kind of sleep ritual I do for him, how much food I feed him, or how many melatonin gummies I give him, he doesn’t fall asleep. Shoko says that it might be chronic insomnia, which checks out. He manages it well though. Sometimes he takes small day naps for half an hour to an hour. He can never seem to sleep for more than 4 or more hours though, not that he has time for it anyway. 

The song ends and it starts playing Stolen Dance by Milky Chance. They start spicing up their dances and tango. Satoru was always the best at this, as he's typically better than me when doing footwork. I can feel my nervousness creeping up on me by the second.

Dont fuck this up Suguru. You have to do it.

We dance, dance, and dance; sometimes slipping in small conversations and giggling with each other like we were back in highschool. I try my best and show a casual demeanor despite the oily turmoil churning in my stomach like butter, forever forced to think of the expensive boulder in my pocket.

Chapter Text

Satoru POV

I reach my hands over Suguru’s shoulders and gently take out his tight bun and run my fingers through his silky hair. I can smell his shampoo from his shower he took before we ate. 

The song finishes and transitions into Frank & Nancy Sinatra’s “Somethin’ Stupid.” It’s so weird that a shuffled playlist is playing the perfect songs. It’s also very weird that it's not playing any of my damn Maroon 5.  

We begin to slow dance again. Suguru’s hand remained on my cheek as I leaned into the touch greedily. We stare at each other lovingly as we dance, savoring the calm atmosphere and the warmth of one another.

“I love you Satoru.” Suguru hums

“I love you too Suguru.” I reply softly

He kisses me on the cheek before hesitantly clearing his throat.

“You are the whole reason I’m alive right now or suffered the consequences of doing something stupid, you know? You're always there to protect me from myself and I adore that about you.” He caresses my cheek once more.

“Just like how you always know the right from wrong.” I say quietly 

“Exactly.” 

There's another pause, more admiring than awkward. 

“Through all our flaws, every obstacle, all odds, we always manage to stick together.”

Suddenly, our dancing comes to a steady halt. Suguru grabs my face with both hands. I can feel them trembling slightly as they warm my cheeks. He takes a deep breath before saying his vows.

“Satoru, sweetheart. You know I love you, right? Forever and always.”

He removes his hands from my cheeks and takes a few steps back.

“‘Till death do us part, right?” He takes a deep breath. I can feel myself start to shiver and the purple butterflies in my stomach, the same color of my beloved eyes, flutter violently.

“Satoru Gojo. My first and only love. Will you do me the honor of cursing me with this Binding Vow, Forever being my One and Only …?”

He kneels down on one knee and pulls out a box from his jacket pocket. He opens it delicately, showcasing a beautiful platinum ring with sapphire crystals embedded within it. 

I stand there, completely shocked and speechless. I can barely focus on anything around me but Suguru. His hopeful, loving, and adorably handsome face staring deep into my soul where he knows he has a first class seat in his name. For the first time, my mind slowed down. My Six Eyes stopped rendering everything around it besides Suguru.

I bring my trembling hands to cover my mouth. I can feel my face heating up and tears pricking at my eyes. My memory brings me back to the day we got together, 9 years ago. I remember how we were sitting at these exact same stairs talking. Eventually our serious talk about your problems and emotions transitioned into a joyful talk about a nice future and amazing past memories. I remember, right then and there, you pulled me in for a kiss. I felt almost the exact same, like I was going to sob and throw up doves and rainbows at the same time.

“Oh… Suguru…”

His face lights up at my cheerful and loving tone.

"Oh my god, Suguru... with everything in my heart and soul, it would be such an honor to marry you. Yes Suguru. A thousand times. Ye-"

I hear flesh popping. I feel liquid and other substances or objects splash and hit me almost all over my body.

I look down

Blood.

Holy shit that's a lot of blood.

There’s skin… pink jelly-like bits too…

All over me…

All over my hands, arms, torso, legs, feet. I can feel it sliding and dripping down my face. I see the ring rolling in a circle down by my feet.

I look in front of me and I only get a slight glance before blacking out.

Suguru. His torso is still kneeling in the same position. I can see the curse’s residuals all over the place. There's no head and severe tearing around his collarbone and shoulders. You can see the top of his ribs and a small part of his spine. His entire body is covered and spewing blood. 

Oh god…

I think I'm gonna vomit…

Chapter Text

Oh hell, my head hurts really bad. Where am I? It feels like I can't think.

“Good afternoon sleepyhead,” 

They smell like cigarettes. Suguru? No. It sounds and looks like Shoko. 

“How are you feeling? Sorry, we drugged you up a bit so you probably feel weird.”

Weird? That's a soft way of putting it. 

“What…?” I ask groggily, my voice barely above a whisper.

“Don’t worry, I’ll ask you later. I just need to check your blood pressure then you can go back to sleep if you want.” Shoko says, walking into a closet that's covered by a curtain. 

“Where am I? What happened? Where's Suguru?” I turn my head to look at her. She finished her cigarette and immediately lit another. I knew she smoked, but not that heavy of a smoker. Something's off. 

“You're at the infirmary. If you're conscious enough to ask that many questions, then you can first answer mine.” Shoko says while wrapping the thing around my arm.

I immediately shut up. I haven’t needed to go to the infirmary since I was still in high school. What the hell happened? I don’t appear to be injured. Nothing’s hurting. What's the deal?

“You seem to be fine for right now. Do you feel anything major right now? Nausea? Delirious? 

“Yeah… My brain won’t work, my technique feels fuzzy, and my head and eyes hurt.” I say, looking at her. She looks tired- more than she normally does. 

“Yeah, that’s probably from a concussion. It should be better once your body wakes up a bit and it will heal on its own. In the meantime, you should probably take a nap. I don’t have a lot of things for you to do while you're like this.”

“What about my phone? I should probably check in on my students and Suguru.” I say, slightly annoyed.

“Sorry, I can’t let you right now. You can either sleep or stare at the wall. Your choice.” She says lazily as she walks out the door swiftly.

Well now I have nothing to do.

Great.

I look outside the window and see people walking about. The sun is setting, making the sky a vibrant orange and yellow, despite the chill clouds swarming over the sky. When was the last time I felt truly alone? I can feel it swirling down in my chest; like a cloudy gray hole. Why am I feeling this way? I have nothing to feel “lonely” for, yet, I still feel it. 

I really want to hug Suguru right now. To hold me and kiss my forehead while I rant to him about my day. To let him lay on my chest as we sleep. To admire him and drink up all his beauty while he yells at other cars on the road. To listen to his heartbeat at night. To wash and brush his hair in the mornings or right after work. To text me when I’m working late. To sleep while on call with him when I go away for a business trip, vise versa. To snuggle my head into his shoulder during long meetings. 

Anything. I crave for anything.

But I can’t have him. Nobody will let me see him, let me call him; or anybody for that matter. I can’t even doomscroll on my phone. Why? 

My eyes begin to droop thinking about it, drowning in the rare feeling of being left in the dark. 

Chapter Text

Damn. My head still hurts. What happened again?

Right, Infirmary.

I look around the room, trying to wake myself up once more. The sun is shining brightly through the windows. I slept through the night. I feel more aware now than before, less delirious. 

I wait there for a while, memorizing my surroundings before Shoko peeps in from the door, her back bending backwards. 

“Yo, I said you could take a nap, not a full night's sleep.” She says, playfully annoyed.

“I could have woken you up but I decided to do paperwork instead.” She says, officially walking into the door, closing the shining windows with the blinds.

“You're so nice.” I say blanky as I scratch my unwashed hair. It smells like the pillow and faintly of cheap shampoo. 

“So, you feel better now?” Shoko sits down on a stool, clipboard and pen in hand as she crosses her legs.

“Kinda. My head still hurts.”

“I’ll give you some ibuprofen when I’m done. Anything more? Physical? Mental?”

“Not really. I guess I do feel a little lonely. I miss Suguru.” I can see Shoko wince slightly hearing his name. “My memory is fuzzy, and I’m kind of cold. But besides that, I feel fine.” 

She writes it down in her clipboard then looks up at me.

“Do you remember anything? What was the last thing you remember before passing out?” She asks. I can’t tell if she's feeling solemn or sympathetic. Probably the former. Hopefully the former. 

“So I passed out?” I ask rhetorically. I begin to think, then think, then think again. 

Finally, it clicks.

“Me and Suguru were dancing in front of the stairs, and then… He proposed.” I say, shocked by the memory and excited from the afterglow.

“Is that the furthest you remember?” She asks again, actually serious this time.

“Yeah… Yes he did…” I say satisfyingly, floating in the joy and not even noticing the tension in the room.

“Well, I have some good news, and I have some bad news.” She says painfully.

“What? What happened?” I ask, trying to keep my composure as I take in the painfully thick atmosphere.

“Well, Suguru… He got into some kind of accident.” Her voice cracks, making me shiver.

“Right after he proposed, a curse swept in and… he lost his head…”

“He’s dead, Satoru.”

“...”

“What..?”

“I’m so sorry. We wanted you to wake up before telling you.”

I stare at her. I don’t know how I should feel. My face and body language is completely blank.

Shoko pulls out a box. “Here are the rings. You can sell them or keep them. We cleaned the blood off of them. 

I grab them and caress the box slowly with my thumb. I open them slowly, revealing the stones that we were supposed to wear together, crafted with our love, and now my grief. “Thanks…” I say quietly.

“If you need someone to talk to, I’m always here. Or if you want someone else, I can assign you to someone.”

“No, I’m fine. Thank you.” I say softly. She reaches over and hugs me. I don’t feel the strength to hug her back. I rest my head on her shoulder.

“It's okay, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” She says caringly yet robotically, as if it was scripted.

“Let me get you that Ibuprofen for your head. If you're hungry, I can get you some food as well.” Shoko says as she gets up, already walking toward the door.

“Thank you. I'd like to have something to eat.” I say, feeling the storm of nausea, shock, and grief twist and knot in my stomach. I decided to eat anyway. I place the rings on the bedside table.

“Okay, I’ll bring it in 10 minutes. Anything else?”

“Can I have my phone now?” 

“Sure.” She says, leaving me by myself.

Ugh… What the hell, Satoru? How could you let that happen? The second you finally have a grasp in your life, you ruin it. Like every other time. Asshole.

I wonder how Megumi is doing. He had an amazing relationship with Suguru.

What day is it? How long have I been out? I forgot to ask Shoko about it. Who has been covering for me while I lay here and do nothing? Probably Nanami. I should thank him if he is. He will probably give me shit the next few days. 

“Hey, here's your stuff.” Shoko says, placing a small table above my lap. She retrieves my phone out of her pocket and hands it to me. “You don’t need to eat all of it, just place it on the ground beside you when you're done. “

“Okay, thanks.” I open the lock screen and I am bombarded by calls, texts, and other motivation. February 20th. It's been about 2 days. 

“Are you sure you're okay? I mean, you just lost your best friend ; your fiance .”

“I'll manage. Just like always,I just need some time.” I say reassuringly.

“Okay. If you need anything, I’m one text away. Unless I’m passed-out drunk.” She jokes. She walks back out the door and closes it. 

I put in my password and look at my notifications.

Yuji

-Hey, wya? ~ 2/18 at 10:47 PM

-Yo. Me, Fushiguro and Kugisaki decorated ur dorm a bit. We wnted to set up a lil gift party for ur aniversry but u never showed up. Do you want us to clean itup or leave it there ~ Yesterday at 12:17 AM

-Hey, I heard what happened. I’m so sorry. Nanami told us that you were at the infirmary which would explain why you haven’t been answering. I hope you feel better and cope well.~ Yesterday at 3:48 PM

-Fushiguro wont talk to me. I can tell that somethings wrong with him brt he wont say a word abt it to anyone. I know its about what happened but im rly worried about him. Maybe whenyou get up you can talk to him. Your prob the best person to get throught to him. ~ Today at 11:22 AM

I stare at the screen for a long time. A very long time. It feels like the world stopped when I slowly read these messages.

Owch.

Chapter Text

The phone rings idly for a solid amount of time.

“Hey,”

“Oh my gosh! Gojo-sensei! How have you been?” Yuji yells excitedly through the phone. My hand jolts away from my ear, still feeling groggy.

“I’m doing fine. As fine as I can be at least. How have you been? I already read your text messages.” I respond in a much softer tone. 

“Oh, well I’ve been doing fine. We tried to train while not having your classes but there hasn’t been a lot of motivation recently.” Yuji says in a quieter voice to match mine.

“Awwwe, I’m glad you guys missed me~” I say teasingly in my “annoying baby voice” coined by Nobara.

“Fushiguro is missing you a lot. He doesn’t say it, but I know he’s hurting and he needs you. He hasn’t come out of his room almost the entire time you’ve been in the infirmary.”

I take in Yuji’s warning. This doesn’t seem like him. I know him and Suguru had a pretty good relationship but I didn’t expect him to go into a whole depressive episode. I bite my lip, my heart hurting. “Okay. I’ll make sure to check on him when I get out of here. How’s Nobara?” I ask, trying to lighten the mood.

“She’s doing great. She’s been sitting in on the second year’s class. I think she just wants to be with Ze-Maki though.” He lets out a nervous chuckle.

“Sounds like her.” I giggle. “I’m surprised she hasn’t shown up and begged for my credit card yet. Or maybe she has, I dunno.” I say lightheartedly. “I do have a question. How did you guys get into my dorm to decorate the other day? Sorry we didn’t show up by the way.”

“No, it’s fine. Fushiguro had a key. We didn’t know he had it either.”

“I forgot I gave him a copy. He just never used it to my knowledge.”

“Oh, well I better get going. Todo and I are seeing this movie screening and I don’t want to miss it. Hey, would you like to have dinner with Fushiguro, Kugisaki, and I when you get back?”

“I think that would be great. Have fun! Buh-bye.”

“Okay then. Bye!”

I hang up the call and lean back. I don’t even feel like eating the food Shoko got me anymore. Not like I wanted to in the first place. I leave it sitting on the side table. 

Steam and heat leave the soup as I neglect its presence. The chicken, carrots, and other ingredients yearn to be eaten, cherished, and used with purpose. 

 The buttered toast is softening and soaking into its self-inflicted butter spread. People don’t eat bread or butter by itself. It always needs another condiment or ingredient to go with it despite them being nutritious and important. 

The milk is sitting at the corner of the tray, losing its coldness and turning room temperature. People love milk by itself, but it spoils quickly no matter how much you protect it and clean it. Eventually it rots, the nutrients of the dairy dying once you leave it on its own for too long.

I check my other messages. Nobara, Nanami, Yuta, Toge, Maki, Panda, Yaga, And some other co-workers. Most of them are just wishing me condolences. I don’t have the energy to reply to them right now. I check my emails and see that HR is telling me to begin working the second I get out of the infirmary. Great. I can’t get a moment to think my own thoughts. I suppose that's for the best though. I’d rather be useful than sulk in my own grief. I just want to go home and wear clothes that don’t show my bare ass. Maybe eat something sweet and call it a night. A warm shower would be nice too.

I wonder what Megumi is doing right now. It says that he’s online. I should probably shoot him a text. 

I hear a knock on the open door. Shoko is standing there. 

“Hey, I have somethin’ to tell you. You are scheduled to leave here tomorrow afternoon, but I heard from Yaga that they are going to put you on a mission somewhere west the same day. I do think that you would be fine to go home today. I won’t say that you left on your record so you can have some time to gather yourself on some conditions.”

“What conditions? You want me to get you cigarettes or something?” I ask, sounding slightly peeved.

“Well, it's around 1pm right now. You need to come back here at 10:30pm. That gives you a little extra free time but still allows you to sleep here. Another thing is that if you get chewed out by the big dogs then I had no place in this situation, got it? Also another pack would be nice.” 

“Yes Ma’am.” I say as I almost jump out of bed. “I’ll bring you a pack when I get back. Can I have my clothes please?” I say, eager to get the hell out of here.

“I believe they are clean. If not then you either have to walk home in spares or in the gown.” She says as she walks out the door.

“Okayyy…” I say, slowly getting back into the bed. I cross my legs and look at the rings. Both of them are clean and sparkling. I wonder if they got professionally cleaned or just dipped in soap and water. I don’t really remember what happened to them when it… happened. I just know that the rings had to get somewhat dirty. It feels so weird. I typically have a great memory but everything is still fuzzy. Gross. 

Shoko taps on my shoulder, clearing me from the thick fog of thoughts.

“Hey, we don't have them. We also don’t have any clothes that would fit you either.” She says seriously

“You’ve gotta be fucking with me.” I say, clearly agitated.

“You're right. They are right here. There's a bathroom on the right for you to change. Remember, 10:30 and cigarettes.” She says while waving her finger in my face.

“First of all, go to hell. Second of all, yes I know.” I say dramatically as I get up and walk to the bathroom with my clothes.

I slip the clothes on my body. They smell metallic and kinda like an old washer. I hate the campus washers and detergent. I bought my own at my dorm so I never used them since I was a student here. 

I walk out and get my stuff from my room. I grab my phone, wallet, keys, and the ring box. I sit on the bed to kick my shoes on. I open the box and examine my ring one more time. I slip it on my finger and shove the box in my jacket pocket. 

“Alright, time for a shower.” I scratch my head as I get up. I walk out the door and wave to Shoko who is typing on her computer.

“Hey, you should probably put on some glasses or your blindfold. You still have that concussion, remember? It's pretty sunny out.” She says. 

I walk out the door, ignoring her advice and immediately get blinded. I stumble back into the building while I cover my eyes with my sleeve.

“Told you so” 

“Shut up”

I grab my blindfold out of my back pocket and slip it over my eyes. It still hurts a bit but it's a lot better. I walk out and head my way to my dorm to refresh myself. I have around 8 hours of free time left. 

Chapter Text

I step out of the shower. I wrap a towel around my waist and step in front of the mirror. My skin feels grossly wet. The whole room is foggy and humid from my scalding shower. I always took quick, cold showers but I felt like a hot one would be better. I’ve been in there for so long my legs feel a little weak. I look at myself in the mirror. 

I stare at my reflection. My eyes seem gray. I can see the wrinkles appearing under my eyes. The ones that I have tried desperately to cover up with different creams, serums, and foundations. Suguru helped me realize that it's just me growing older. It doesn't matter if my hair grows longer, or my skin gets less smooth, or my eyes are dimmer. I always have Suguru to help me through it despite rarely being a self-conscious person. I’m only 28, I shouldn’t be so pushed by this. I guess I can't be ”perfect” forever.

God, what am I going to do without him? How could I have let myself grow so emotionally dependent on him? 

I slip on a black T-shirt and some jeans. I dry my hair with my towel and brush it, but my strands are still helplessly damp. I step out of the bathroom and walk into the bedroom. Since my dorm is larger than the normal ones the students get, I have a bedroom and a kitchen attached to the main/living room. 

I notice a small box of chocolates resting on the nightstand on my side of the bed. I sit down and open it up. 

“Happy anniversary!” is written on a notecard above the chocolates with a little drawing of Suguru. I drop the box on the ground, the chocolates spilling out of their plastic intents and onto the wooden floor. I hold my head in my hands. The smell of chocolate makes me want to vomit. Just another punch in the gut. I put on my blindfold over my eyes to hide my jitteriness. 

I just need to distract myself. I need to get things done. I'll be fine that way, just like I always am. 

I get out of the room, the whole house is filled with the intoxicating smell of Suguru. I can’t stand it. I grab my phone, and keys, and slip on a coat. I walk out the door 

It’s warming up a little. The temperature reaches a minimum of 35°F and the wind is low. I exit the campus and walk along the streets of Tokyo, looking for takeout restaurants. I eventually found this one place and ordered a mello yello, a coke, and an order of shogayaki. 

I wait at a table for a little bit while they get my order. I take out my phone and scroll through Twitter. 

“Order 1824!” The guy at the counter yells with a rugged voice after 10 minutes. I get up and put my phone in my pocket. 

“Thank you,” I say as I grab the bag and walk out. I hold the door open for a young couple before I fully leave. It doesn’t matter to me though. They are all just gray silhouettes. I head back to campus with the food and drink in my right hand, and the other drink in my left. I try to get back as quickly as possible so it doesn’t get cold. 

Knock Knock

“...”

“Megumiii~”

“...”

“I know you're awake. Just let me in.” I say in a softer, more serious tone. 

I hear the door unlock. I stand there for a few seconds before finally going in. The room smells dusty. I sit the bag and drinks down on the counter. I look over and see that Megumi has already gotten back into bed. I walk closer to the sad lump on a mattress and sit down in the corner, facing the opposite way. 

“What's up?” I ask quietly.

“What do you want, Gojo?” He asks agitatedly.

“What's going on? It’s not often that you go into a big depressive episode like this. Yuji’s worried about you.” I try my best to lighten the mood and coax him to open up. I’m not the best at comfort and solace but I try my best.

“Itadori worries about everyone. That's practically his job.” He responds

“Hey, you never answered my question,” I say in a solemn tone.

“Why did I ever unlock my door?” He says, covering his head back in his blankets.

We sit there in silence for a little bit. The only thing in our ears is his ceiling fan and our breathing. My hand goes up and rubs his arm up and down. 

“Don’t think you're the only one hurting,” I say quietly.

“I know.” He mumbles, revealing his head a little bit. He looks hazy and tired, his eyes unfocused.

“You're worrying me. I’ve never seen you like this. I just wanna know what’s happening.” I bring my hand back from his arm and rest it on my knee.

“How many people do I have to lose?” He randomly asks.

“What?” I say, genuinely confused.

“First it was Tsumiki, then it was Itadori for a couple of months, now it’s Geto.” He sits up, still on his bed. He brings his knees up to his chest and rests his head on them, looking at me. 

“I get the feeling. It isn’t all bad though.” I say, diverting my gaze to the front door.

“Are you saying that my sister falling into a coma, my friend dying, and my other guardian dying is a good thing?” he says disdainfully. 

“You know that's not what I meant! And in my defence Yuji was alive!” I say dramatically, pressing a hand to my chest. “I’m just saying, focusing on the bad parts of life isn’t a very helpful thing. Neither are just the good parts.”

“So then what do I do?” 

“You just live your life. Don’t think about it. Be as useful as you can.”

“Is that what you're doing?”

I look back in front of me, ignoring his question.

“Hey, you hungry? I got you food.” I get up off his bed and walk toward the counter where I put the food and drinks on.

“No… Not really.” He mumbles.

“I don’t care. You’re eating.” I command with a smile, grabbing the food and skipping back to the bed. I can hear him grumble. “I got you some shogayaki and a mello yello from a corner shop.” I put the food and drink on the nightstand. I give the container of ginger pork along with a fork.

“Where’s your food? I thought you would get something overwhelmingly sweet, then complain to me that your teeth hurt.” He asks, mildly irritated.

“I wasn’t hungry. I ate at the infirmary anyway.” I grab my coke and stick the straw in it, distracting my mind from lying through my teeth.

“Yeah, that's totally not hypocritical at all.” He says as he shoves a forkful in his mouth.

“Stuff it.” I scoff playfully.

“So, what happened at the infirmary anyway? Why were you there for so long?” He asks, genuinely interested.

“I honestly don’t know why I was there. I’m still technically supposed to be there. Apparently, I have a concussion and it's making my technique act weird so Shoko told me to just use my infinity for the time being.” I begin to chuckle. “When I woke up for the first time, I was so delirious about everything that I could barely talk or understand words! It was so pathetic.” I say while giggling.

“Okay. I didn’t need the whole story. Just a basic summary would have been better.” He says while grabbing his drink. “Have you talked to Itadori, besides just talking about me?”

“Yeah. He didn’t really talk much about himself though. It was mostly just you and Nobara. You know how he is. He did ask that next time I’m free, we could all go out for dinner.”

“Didn’t we just do that?”

“Well… yes. But who cares? It's not like you're paying.”

“I guess. Just not too soon.” He sits his now empty take-out container on the nightstand.

“Don’t worry, I’m going on a mission tomorrow and probably the next day so it won’t happen until the weekend.” I pat his knee. “Well, I have to go do some other stuff. Check on Yuji for me, will you? He is right next door, you know. Also, take care of yourself a little. Take a shower, change your clothes, clean your room, and wash your sheets.” I instruct as I stand up.

“Okay, I will in a little bit.” He also gets up.

“Good. I’ll call you later if I can. Bye Megs!~ Looove you!~” I say dramatically as I walk out the door.

“Just get out...” He says with an irked sigh.

Chapter Text

February 28, 2018                                                                                                                                                      Yuji Itadori

Gojo Sensei has been acting weird lately. I know his fiancé just died but, there's something odd. He’s been… Normal. Usually when someone that is important to you dies, you feel devastated. Gojo immediately started working the second he got out of the infirmary. He even went on this 3 day business trip like nothing ever happened. He’s been teaching class normal, doing his missions well by what I’ve heard, and even comforted other people who are grieving. I would expect him to at least take a day off or two to recuperate. I guess he really does work his life away. That's Gojo for ya’. He’s been wearing his blindfold a lot more recently. He used to wear his glasses more because Geto liked his eyes. I haven’t seen him wear anything else but his blindfold in forever. He stopped taking it off around everyone. It’s odd.

I feel like I should check up on him. I mean, he seems fine but I can’t help the feeling that something is going on. Everyone else had already gotten over the loss. It’s normal for a death to happen every now and then as a sorcerer so people recover quicker. Gojo hasn't taken us anywhere either. Usually on Tuesdays we go out after training but he always says that he's too busy and goes to his dorm or stays in the classroom. I don’t complain because maybe he just needs some time to himself. He always seems so focused on everything now. We’ve actually been learning stuff. Usually he just goes on tangents for eight minutes per subject but he hasn’t been close to going off topic once this week. He has not been late to class either. That's rare.

Nanami told me that when he was younger, he had some big accident. After that, he hyper focused on training so much that he didn’t have time for anything else. I wonder what happened to cause such a reaction out of him. He seems like a pretty kept-together man. I overheard a conversation between Leiri and Geto that it had something to do with Fushiguro. 

I have been kind of worried about Fushiguro as well. He has also gotten over it a little but I can tell that it’s still bothering him. I usually come over next door to play games, study, or just hang out. We’ve been doing that a lot more recently and it makes me so happy. I can tell that he thinks something is wrong with Gojo as well. He actually has been talking to him after class or asking if he has eaten. It’s weirdly caring for Fushiguro. Gojo always replies with a high pitched yet soft “Yes, I’ve been eating,” or “I’m feeling fine. Don’t worry about me.” It’s like clockwork. I know Fushiguro has known Gojo for longer than I have. Maybe he can tell something is fishy. Maybe Gojo told him something and now he’s worried. I don’t know. I was thinking about asking him about what’s going on with Gojo. I might ask Kugisaki too. She seemed to just be a little peeved that we are doing more tests, assignments, etc. I think she will care once we figure out what's going on. 

For me, I don’t really know what I’ve been feeling. Of course I’m still sad about the death but, I’ve started seeing everyone react more intensely or apathetically about it. Sometimes I wish I don’t have as much empathy as I do. I’m watching people I love deteriorate and I can’t do anything about it. Sometimes strength and training can’t do everything in the world. Of course I know this but it’s a little despairing. People tell me that I’m great at comforting the hurt but the people around me don’t want it. I tried talking to Fushiguro about how he’s feeling, to lay on my shoulder and let it go, but he almost immediately shut me down. I guess it was a little selfish though. I remember when we were driving home from a mission a little ways from the school and he fell asleep on my shoulder. That was the best drive of my life. He apparently doesn’t remember it. He got tense when I told him about it and wanted to change the subject. I didn’t really question it. 

I just want to check up on Gojo soon. I’ll probably ask Fushiguro and Kugisaki about it tomorrow. I hope we don’t figure out anything bad and he’s actually doing okay.

Chapter Text

“Took you long enough.” Fushiguro scoffs as he leans back against the back of the bed. 

“Sorry! I brought back snacks though. There was a deal on chips at the market and I couldn’t miss it.” I scratch the back of my neck before I sit the bag down on the floor and sit opposite of Fushiguro. “Do you have the key?” I ask timidly.

“Yeah, it’s in my pocket. He leaves in 30 minutes so say we head out 15 minutes after so we know he’s gone.” Fushiguro says as he sips on his cola.

“I’m still having second thoughts about this. What if he finds us?” I open a bag of cheese puffs and shove a few in my mouth. 

“It doesn’t matter. I don't think he even has the energy to care. The other day I insulted him like 4 times and he didn’t dramatically defend himself like he always does. Plus, he gave me this key for a reason. If anything, he’d be happy that I finally used it.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” I say with a sigh. I pull out my phone and get ready to kill time. “It’s a shame that Kugisaki isn’t here.”

“Eh… I feel like she would just look for blackmail for the next time he says something about her appearance. Plus she said that it would be weird to snoop in a guys bedroom- especially our teachers.” He says as he scrolls on his phone as well.

“Well, I guess it is kind of weird…” I put my phone down.

“You were the one that had the idea.” He says judgingly, putting his phone away as well. 

“I had good intentions! I just want to know if he’s doing okay!”

“Even if he wasn’t, he’s so egotistical that he would hide any evidence that would show he is. What would we even do if we somehow find out that he is spiraling?”

“I don’t know!” I look to the side with a peeved expression. “I am kind of curious what his dorm looks like though. I heard that it is bigger than the student dorms.”

“Yeah. What do you want to do while we wait? We got a half an hour.” Fushiguro crosses his legs and rests his on his fist.

“I dunno. I brought Uno… if you want to play?” I took the card game out of the grocery bag that held the snacks.

“Uno? Sure, why not. My phone’s almost dead anyway.” He leans in and we shuffle the cards together.

We play Uno, talk, eat, and play on our phones for the rest of the time. 

“Oh shit, it’s already 9pm. We need to go.” Fushiguro says while getting up off the ground. 

“Oh, right.” I hurry to put my sneakers on and open the door. “Do you know how much time we have before he comes back from his mission?”

“I can’t tell. We have a minimum of 30 minutes but we can push for an hour. Max he should take is 2-3 hours but we shouldn’t take that long anyways.” He says as we walk out of the building. 

“He's in the southern building, right?” I lean forward to look at him.

“Yes. You’re asking too many questions.” He sighs, slumping his shoulders.

“Sorry.” I giggle and scratch my head.

After 10 minutes of walking, we got there. Fushiguro unlocks the door and opens it, a fresh view of Gojo’s door. It smells dusty when we walk in. We lock the door so we have time to hide if he comes home sooner than expected. It’s messy. A tidy-like messy. His bed is unmade, papers and documents scattered on his desk, and his entire closet is a disaster- presumably from Geto’s clothes. There are no wrappers, containers, or cups. 

“That's odd. He seems like the organized type.” I place my hand on my chin.

“He is not, trust me. I used to live with him.” Fushiguro says after his 5th sneeze.

“So do you think that it's just Geto’s absence for the mess?” I walk further into the room.

“Probably. Don’t ask me.” He walks with me as we go to the middle of the room.

“So… What do we look for?” I ask, a little embarrassed.

“You made this whole plan to check up on him… And you don’t even know how to execute it??” Even though Fushiguro doesn’t facepalm, I can feel the urge for him to do it. “Look for notes, moldy food, lack of essentials, that kind of stuff. A messy room isn’t enough to make an assumption.”

“Okay, got it. Thanks Fushiguro. I’ll check in here, and you can check the bathroom and the mini-kitchen type thing.”

“You're lucky I’m even here.” He says, slightly annoyed. He walks to the bathroom first. 

I look under the bed, in the nightstand drawers, desk drawers, bookshelf, everywhere. I read some of the documents. Nothing. No indicators of anything. Only a few highschool photo albums, a scrapbook, and a picture book full of Fushiguro and what I can tell is his sister with the title of “My Babies.” I thought it was cute. 

Meanwhile, Fushiguro goes through the sink drawers and checks the shower essentials. He finds nothing besides foundation that is slightly paler than Gojo’s skintone for some odd reason. He opens the medicine cabinet. 5 different kinds of pain relievers and migraine pills, caffeine pills, 2 bottles of liquid night time cough medicine, and strong melatonin gummies. 

“Itadori! Come here.” He yells from the other room. 

“Did you find something?” I say as I walk into the bathroom. I take a look at the cabinet. “What’s wrong?”

“That’s a lot of medicine for 2 people.”

“I mean, the headache medicine makes sense because of his migraines… It seems normal that he can’t sleep well at night or have trouble waking up. And maybe he’s sick? Or it could be old bottles like the pain relievers. It all seems justifiable.” I tilt my head to the side to think. 

“Yeah, but why would he ever need 2 bottles of cough medicine. They are brand new too. The company just changed their logo 2 weeks ago and he hasn’t been sick once. One of them is half empty.” 

“I don't know… I still don’t think that explains anything. There's many reasons. Just go in the kitchen and we can see if anything matches up.” I pat him on the back and walk out. Maybe Fushiguro cares more about him than he makes it out to be. I walk back in the main room.

“Itadori… I found something for real this time.” 

I walk into the kitchen where the fridge is wide open. Some of the food is on the floor where Fushiguro is sitting. “What is it? The fridge is full?”

“All the food in here is either expired or at death’s door.”

“Huh?” I grab the half gallon of milk and look at the date. “This expired a week ago…”

“Look at this one.” He hands me the leftovers from the night he died.

“I… I don’t think I want to…” I say with a nervous grin, holding back a gag.

“I don’t think he’s been eating. I mean, look at this room. The only thing it's missing are candy wrappers and dessert boxes. He clearly hasn’t been eating anything in here.” He stands up and shuts the fridge angrily.

“He has been a little unmotivated and unconcentrated lately. Did you check how many of the caffeine tablets were in the bottle?”

“There were about 5 left.”

“Damn…” I sigh.

“Shit! Turn off the lights!” Fushiguro flips the lights off and we squat in the corner of the kitchen. 

The door opens. We have a perfect view of the main room. I can feel my heart beating harshly in my chest. Gojo takes his shoes off and walks to his desk. He places down his laptop and some papers lazily in the middle of the desk. He drops his bag on the chair with 3 other bags. Gojo walks to the bathroom drowsily and presumably washes his face. After, he hangs his jacket on the door and falls face first onto his bed and lays there for a minute. He then curls himself into a ball in the middle of the bed and falls asleep almost immediately. 

We wait there for an extra 10 minutes to make sure he’s asleep.

“Hold on… I want to check something…” I whisper as I walk up to my incapacitated teacher.

“If he wakes up I’m leaving you.” Fushiguro warns as he walks past me.

He’s not wearing his blindfold. I lift the hair off of his face. He looks so ungodly tired. The pinkish red under his eyes, the wrinkles, and his concerningly pale face. It’s weird to feel this sorry for your teacher and 'The Strongest'. I look over to Fushiguro and even he looks concerned and worried. His face twitches and I immediately move my hand.

“Let's go before we get caught.” I walk over to the door and Fushiguro follows.

Chapter Text

Hey, I've notice this hasn't had a lot of traction. I know that writing isn't about peoples approval, but I don't really think of writing any more to this. I'm not very good at writing "deep angst" like how it was supposed to be yet also maintaining the characters canon personality. Plus, i have just generally lost passion to it. If this suddenly blows up and people are complaining that I haven't finished it, I will try my best to continue the fic. If not, I will probably never touch this again lol.

I'm about to write a new fic though! It's a gojo x reader so I know its not for everyone (Xreader fics aren't as popular anymore) but if you are interested in reading that, i will probably have it posted by Friday-Saturday.

Thank you for supporting this and I'm sorry to anyone that really liked it 😔