Chapter Text
“Remember, class. Swish, Flick and Wingardium Leviosa !” Professor Flitwick said, casting the Levitation charm on a feather.
Daphne had found that she was starting to consider Charms to be her favourite class. Flitwick was proving to be a brilliant teacher, explaining the spell, its utility and the reason they would be praticing this spell often.
“It’s truly the best way to deal with unruly Karens, who are trying to steal your sausage roll!” The diminutive professor continued. “Now, everyone grab your wands and use the Levitation Charm to lift the feather in front of you and hold it for ten seconds. The first one to achieve this will receive a month’s supply of goodies from Greggs! Now off you go!”
The Classroom was suddenly filled with screeches and howls of students completely forgetting how to do a simple spell that was clearly explained to them.
Daphne wasn’t really bothered about the reward, she wasn’t even sure Greggs did Ice Cream anymore, so she decided to hold back a little.
“Hey, Daphne.” Tracey said.
Daphne didn’t blink as her friend pulled herself out of her school bag and sat next to her.
“Tracey, why were you in my bag?” Daphne asked, watching as Zabini was pulled into a Shadow Duel by his feather, who had enough of being prodded by a forgettable side character outside of Fanon.
“Just hanging around.” Tracey replied. Daphne waited for the eventual gossip but was oddly surprised when Tracey actually tried to do her schoolwork.
“No gossip?” Daphne asked, allowing her feather to float a little before letting it fall back onto the desk.
“It’s just about to start. Look at Granger.”
Daphne didn’t really want to, but curiosity won out.
Granger was ignoring the Professor’s instructions and instead decided to badger Ron Weasley for some reason.
“It’s Leviosa not Jellywobblesummitdope. ” She talked down to Weasley.
“I’m doing that, woman!” Weasley snapped, only for Granger to slap the yellow off his teeth.
“Watch how you talk to me! I’m the Main Character! Show some fucking respect!” The buck toothed girl snarled.
“If you're so good, why don’t you try it!” Weasley snapped back. Granger puffed up, clearly pleased with showing the plebeians that she was the next Lily Potter. She turned back to her feather and swung it dramatically.
“ Wiiiiiiiigarrdiiiiummm Leevvvioooo-!”
“Well done, Mr Potter!” Flitwick’s voice cut through the classroom. “Ten points to Gryffindor and take another thirty for the silent casting!”
“ SssaaaaWhat!? ” Granger screeched out, swinging in her seat and accidently shot Ron in the head with her botched spell. Weasley shot out of his chair and shot around the room like a rocket.
Daphne only found it amusing for two reasons.
Granger looked like someone had shit in her soup while Weasley had let out a perfect Wilhelm Scream.
Then she turned her gaze to Potter, who was playfully making his feather do loops and twirls in the air. His eyes met hers and he gave her a nod of acknowledgement which she returned.
She turned back to her feather, cheeks blushing softly, and ignoring Tracey’s teasing smile.
The class went on uneventfully after that.
Apart from Weasley crash landing face first into the floor and Seamus Finnigan pulling out an RPG and using it on his feather.
Apart from that it was just a normal class at Hogwarts.
Xxx
After class there was a little drama.
Weasley, nursing a very flat face, was cruising up a storm.
“Stupid fucking bint!” He snarled, sending spittle and snot flying. “No wonder she doesn't have any friends!” Naturally he was stupid to say this at the top of his voice, in a hallway full of his fellow students.
Granger dramatically flounced towards him and roundhouse kicked him so hard he rag dolled down the hall. Granger then dramatically hid her face in her hands and ran away.
“BOOOHHOOOOOBOOOOHOOOOO!” She dramatically cried as she ran.
“I think she heard you.” A rather charred Finnegan said obviously.
Daphne shook her head and went to her next class.
Xxx
The Halloween Feast.
The Bane of Daphne’s existence.
She sulked as she looked upon the piles of sugary treats that decorated the Slytherin table with disgust.
Not a single bowl of Ice Cream in sight.
Seeing that she wouldn’t get a taste of paradise tonight, she decided to look around and see what the rest of the student body was up to.
No. She was not looking for Potter, no matter how much Tracey teased about love at first glance. She just happened to look at the Gryffindor table first.
She noticed Potter wasn’t in his usual seat, between Brown and Patil.
Daphne glanced down her own table, expecting him to be talking to Milicent or Nott. She was surprised that he wasn’t there and that Milicent and Nott were looking rather downcast and picking at their meals.
“Looking for Harry?” Tracey teased from her side, munching on a bag of Marsh mellows. Daphne used Frigid Doom Glare of Doom but it had no effect on Tracey.
“Just wondering where he was.”She replied, reluctantly putting a pumpkin cake on her plate.
“Well.” Tracey began. “From what I heard from Lavender Brown, who heard from Madame Pomfrey, who heard from Professor Babbling that Harry had asked to be excused from the feast to mourn his parents.” Tracey said, sounding rather subdued at the topic.
“That’s fair.” Daphne said, feeling embarrassed that she missed that little fact.
They sat in silence for a moment and then things kicked off.
Professor Quirell, the useless schmuck that taught Defence of the Dark Arts, ran into the Great Hall.
“Troll! Troll in the dungeon! Thought you ought to know.” He screamed before face planting the floor with the most pisspoor acting Daphne had ever seen.
She had been forced to watch My Immortal the Movie but that's a horror story for the future.
Everything descended into chaos as the students began screaming in horror. Then Dumbledore, who the writer almost forgot is in this fic, pulled out a shotgun and shot it into the air.
“Listen up, Motherfuckers!” He roared over the bedlam, which went silent in an instant. “All students are to return to the common rooms, immediately. So get Skibidi or I’ll ratio you on Twitter!” He stomped away, shouldering the boomstick.
Professor Mcgonnagal got to her feet.
“Prefects, take your fellow students back to the Common Room and bar the entrances. Slytherins shall stay here until the danger has passed. Hagrid, go and get the Beaver Tranquilliser before Albus hurts himself again.” She and the other teachers left, followed by the Gryffindor, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff students.
The Slytherins sat in silence as time slowly ticked by.
Daphne noticed Milicent and Nott were talking quietly, probably concerned for Potter.
She hoped he was in a safe place.
“So what do you think is gonna hap-” Tracey began before the Great Hall doors were smashed from their hinges and a monster stepped through the ruins.
Most of the Slytherins screeched in horror and scattered as the fully grown Dire Mountain Troll looked upon the silly noisy people with annoyance.
The man with two faces had said there would be food here and all it saw was gremlins.
Kill Them!
A voice hissed in its head, causing the Troll to grunt in distaste. Its large tusks clacked together in displeasure.
It wanted real food, not gremlins.
Kill Them!!
The voice demanded and the Troll decided to ignore it, turning to leave the hall much to the rage of the man with two faces.
Daphne had noticed that the Troll was leaving and almost felt a semblance of relief when she recognised as a Dire Mountain Troll, who were well known for being herbivores.
As long as no one was stupid enough to insult it then all would be fine.
“Leave me alone, stupid beast!”
Draco Malfoy did something very stupid.
The Dire Mountain Troll paused in the doorway, its massive shoulders tensing as it turned. Its small red eyes locking onto the skinny gremlin that insulted it.
All the Slytherins with a braincell realised what was about to happen and immediately made some distance from Draco, who naturally shit his pants when the Troll began to stomp towards him.
“Leave me alone! Don’t you know who my father is!” He screamed as the monster approached, raising a massive wooden club.
Daphne couldn’t look away even if she wanted as the Troll swung, ready to crush Draco into paste. Students screamed in horror as the club descended.
Then something shot through the ruined doorway and struck the Troll in the back, sending the massive beast flying through the air and crashing through the teachers table.
Harry Potter landed on his feet as he kept his gaze firmly on the troll.
“Milly, Theo, go and get the Teachers. The rest of you go. Now!” He commanded as the troll got to its feet, roaring so loud it shattered the glass windows.
“Everyone, let’s go!” Milly shouted as the Slytherins made a run for it.
“What about Potter?” Pansy Parkinson, surprisingly asked with worry.
“Harry can handle himself but we have to get help, now!” Nott said.
The troll howled in rage and charged at Potter, who actually leapt to meet it. Daphne felt Tracey pull on her arm.
“Come on, Daph. We need to go!” Tracey began to pull her besty towards the exit
Most of the Slytherins had already ran for it and Daphne risked one last glance back to where Potter fought the troll, just in time to see Potter banish the Ravenclaw table into the troll’s stomach, only for the improvised missile to shatter in impact with the beast’s stone like hide with little effect.
The last thing she saw before fleeing the Great Hall was the Troll swinging its club at Potter.
Stay alive, Potter!
Xxx
Harry Potter sensed Greengrass and Davis fled down the corridor and grinned.
Now time to cut loose.
His wand vanished and he crossed his arms above his head, catching the massive club and stopping it in its tracks.
The troll blinked in surprise as it was suddenly pushed backwards, it caught a glimpse of the strange glowing blue veins covering the human’s arms before said human vanished.
It barely registered the human’s disappearance before a fist was planted in its gut. The troll spat blood and bile as it was folded in two and launched across the Hall.
Unlike the other attacks, this one hurt beyond anything the troll had felt before. It roared as it felt the flesh, where the fist struck blisters and burned.
Harry watched as it pulled itself to its feet and felt a shiver of excitement. This was the first creature in this world that survived one of his full powered attacks. He was about to strike again when the troll did something odd.
The troll gripped its club in both hands and actually took a fighting stance, the weapon began to emit a strange white energy and it took a second for Harry to recognise Nature Magic.
It seemed someone had unknowingly found a diamond in the rough.
Harry’s grin widened.
“What's your name, Troll?” He asked in trollish, making the beast blink in surprise.
“Urg, son of Durg.” The troll, Urg, growled out. “What do you want?”
“I’m Harry, son of James. Before we end this can you tell me who let you into the castle?” Harry asked. He understood that Urg would not allow this to end peacefully, the Dire Mountain Troll’s had been insulted and the matter could only be settled in blood.
He would have to punish Draco for this.
Urg would have been a wonderful ally.
“The Man with Two Faces promised enough food to get through the winter.”
“I see. Thank you for answering.” Harry replied and bowed. “Let's end this.”
Harry held out his hand and a weapon appeared.
It was a golden war hammer, far too large and heavy for a child to lift with both hands. Runes glowed across its head and only the flat killing face of the weapon was unmarked.
Urg instinctively knew what this weapon was called for; it was responsible for ending the Era of Mists and ending the reign of the God-Beasts.
Ghal Maraz.
Urg grinned savagely at the sight of the legendary weapon. Victory or defeat, he was truly honoured to face the weilder of such a mighty weapon.
Harry held Ghal Maraz in one hand, shifting his stance into readiness.
Urg shifted his feet.
They stared at each other for a long moment. Then the enchanted ceiling above roared with thunder and a flash of lightning.
Urg and Harry leapt at each other with a roar of finality.
The club, burning bright with the power of Nature, broke the sound barrier as it was swung.
Ghal Maraz trailed golden fire as it fell like a meteor.
Urg’s eyes widened in surprise when he noticed that Harry, son of James, had jumped high enough for Urg’s club to sail under him harmlessly. Urg felt an odd sense of calm as his blow missed, the gathered Nature Magic pulverising the far wall.
Too think he would have met a good death here of all places.
Ghal Maraz struck him in the temple, obliterating his skull in a detention of brains and bone, and then carved deep before lodging in his chest. Urg’s body swayed before falling back, Harry pulling Ghal Maraz free and leaping back as the body struck the floor.
Harry looked upon the body of his enemy and raised Ghal Maraz in a salute.
“Farewell, Urg, son of Durg! Let Mother Magic guide you to the Promised Lands!” Harry declared.
He dismissed his weapon and summoned his wand.
He conjured up a stool and sat down.
He had much to think about.
Xxx
“By Merlin! Mr Potter, are you hurt!?” Minerva Mcgonnagal exclaimed as she entered the ruins of the great hall. When Miss Bulstrode and Mister Nott had found them and told them that the troll was in the Great Hall and Harry Potter was distracting it, she had run as fast as she could.
She had barely registered the sound of her colleagues following her.
She found a warzone.
Only the Slyherin table was intact and everything else was shattered wood and stone. Not even the windows had survived.
What was more shocking was the scene in the centre of the Hall.
The corpse of a fully grown Dire Mountain Troll lay there like a ruptured mountain, its black blood pooling around it like a lake. Then there was Harry Potter, sitting upon a stool in a daze. She noted the blood on his robes and felt a shiver of alarm run down her spine.
Harry was startled out of his daze at the sound of her voice.
“Professor?” He asked, clearly in shock.
Minerva ran to him and pulled him into a hug.
“Are you hurt, child?” She asked as she pulled away.
“I’m alright.” He said.
“I’ll be the judge of that, Mr Potter.” Poppy Pomfrey said as she joined them. The nurse gently took Harry by the arm and pulled him to his feet. “Come along now. Let’s get you checked over.” Poppy gently led him away.
Minerva waited for them to leave before turning to Filius, who was examining the troll.
“It seems Mr Potter could have a future in dealing with dangerous magical creatures.” The Charms Professor said, almost sound in awe.
“Indeed.” Mcgonnagal agreed. “I’m more concerned how a fully grown Dire Mountain Troll got past the wards and why it was in the Great Hall and not the dungeons?”
“It can’t be Albus, we took away his control over the wards after he tried to smuggle that Gorgon in to test the students' bravery.”
“Don’t remind me.” Minerva said, shivering at that memory. The Gorgon had been a nice lady but the fact it was in the middle of Gorgon mating season and the castle became under siege by horny Male Gorgons had made the faculty put their foot down on Albus Dumbledore’s schemes.
“Could it be that the troll wasn’t intending to hurt anyone and only got aggressive inside the castle?” Aurora Sinistra asked.
Minerva sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.
“We won’t get answers by throwing theories around.” She said. “Aurora. I want you to check on the Slytherins and then make sure everyone is accounted for in the other Houses. Septima, go and check the Ward Stone for any tampering. Charity, please send a Patronus to Hagrid and tell him to keep Albus sedated until we clean up this mess. Pomona, you're on cleaning duty with Filius and I. Severus, piss off back to your batcave, you're not wanted in this chapter.” Minerva rattled off orders and the faculty went about their jobs.
Minerva’s eyes narrowed as she noted the absence of Quirell.
Someones playing games and I won’t have that. She thought to herself as she began to help clean up.
Xxx
Meanwhile
Hermione Granger was shaking with anticipation.
In a few moments the troll will come barging into the girls bathroom and then she will show everyone that she was the Main Character, not Harry Potter!
She got a nasty surprise, an hour later, when she was found by a professor, given detention and lost house points for being out after curfew.
I’m the Main Character! I’m not supposed to get into trouble!
Xxx
Meanwhile in the Charms Classrom
Blasie Zabini screamed in horror as the Quill summoned Red Eyes Zombie Dragon and blasted him into the Shadow Realm.
That is why you should know you're screwed when your opponent pulls out Zombie World.